St. Landry democrat., 1880-09-25
ALL SORTS.

because it was one sent to him.
Tea tasters get as high as S1o0 per
month; but milk-tasters get nothins
but chalk and water.
-"Love," saws the Philadelphia
Chronicle, "makes many an arm ~ W
waist"
We have heard some people say they
could live on music. Then 1t mus' oo
on note meal.
On the night of the 18th there were
heavy frosts in Illinois, which seriously
damaged late corn.
The grocer gave his customer SNORT
weight and in return had a long one
[wait) for his money.
From March to date Chicago mas
packed 800, 900 pounds of Pork, st. Louis
100000, and Cincinnati 10000.
A familiar color blindness is that OF
man takinga brown silk umbrella anu
leaving green gingham one lts place.
A young lady is so enthuslastic
over croouet, that her father says she 10
the "the maiden all for lawn.'-l Daily
Globe.
Miss Mary Walker, of Phillipsburg:
n, j., claims to be 1O7 years OF age, ana
says it is all owing to her remaining an
old maid.
The Boston Globe says that a PROM
ising young horse in South Boston has
been named DR.. Tanner, in hopes that
r ill ,nol-o him, fast
"A ''new broom may "sweep clean,"
but an old one is Just as servlceaOle 10
chase Il husband over the back fence
with.-[ Middletown Transcript.
A Rhode Island justice refused to
marry man by the name of Carr TO
lady of the same name, on the Srouhu
that he was afraid to couple cars.
If lawyers offered prayers to
Heaven one-half as often as they offer
them to the court. there might be some
chance of few of them getting In.
A young lady Of Philadelphia is
gaining great reputation as vlollnlst.
Still, she is not the only fair one. who
has mastered the art of handling a beau.
sally" said fellow to q girl who
had red hair, keep away from me or
you'll set me on fire. "No danger OK
that" replied the girl, "you are too
green to burn
-"Tell me, what is an averagee"
asked school-maam.
"a thing to lay eggs on. Mother says
our old hen lays six eggs on an average"
was the reply.
The imitation frogs now worn as
ornaments by the ladies are rather sug-
gestive of leap-year. However, it will
not do to jump at this conclusion. 1t
may be souvenir of croak, hey7
-"One Of the sublmest things in the
world is plain truth."-Bulwer. Exact
ly correct as far IT'S it goes, but you for
got to mention that the genuine article
is as hard to find as Charlie Ross.
If the good die young,n what's
going to become of the aged ministers
and all the old greyhaired members Of
the church? Some of these old sayings
are suffering terrible lack of revision.
AT Logansvjlle, Wiss., Henry Raetz-
mann married the girl whom Otto Rig
CERT wanted. Otto went to the wedding
with knife, and when the ceremony
was over he stabbed the bridegroom
three times.
The Flatonia Argus says it can't SEQ
why any man sane or insane, and who
has chance to cultivate his neighbor's
| watermelon patch and smoke house
after night, wants to be an editor
| Houston Post.
We want no probabilities" OF "pos-
sibilitiesn in the weather this winter,
| but square up aud down temperature,
which will make ice so cheap next sum-
mer that it can be melted for wash
water.-[ Professor Tice.
A Texas Clergyman, about to be-
come chaplain of penitentiary,
preached a farewell sermon to his con :
gregation, who had ill treated him,
from the text: Il go to prepare place
for you, so that where am ye may be
ALSO"
Samantha. I'm going to let 90 of
your hand for minute, but you won't
be mad, will you, darling? [ wouldn't
let go till you did, ouly some sort of
bug is crawling down my back, and I
can't keep my mind on you and bugs at
the same timer'
A little girl who had often heard
her mother speak of her father, who was
somewhat bald. as being a self-made
man, asked her one day, if her father
was self-made man, why lie didn't nut
more hair on his head.
"A writer in New York farm iourna]
proves that the skunk is a far keenel
animal than the fox, but asserts thai
neither OF them have half the wit of q
coon. This point being settled, the
public may now resume the considera-
ton of the Presidential election.
A remarkable woman, Mrs. Mar,
Ann Dean, died lately in St. LoniS
She was thirty seven years old, and hat
been married twenty years. She wa,
the mother of twenty -one children, OF
whom there were three pairs of twins
two sets of triplets, and four were bor1
living.
The papyrus manuscript recentl,
discovered in the cave OF a hermit neal
jerusalem, and said to be the work O
st. Peter, has been submitted to com
mittee sent out by the Biblical Societ,
OF London, and they have come to tll,
conclusion that the papyrus is in 1ealit,
the work OF the great apostle. The
have offered 100000 for the documen
in vain.
They had their usual evening omar
rel as they sat by the hearth. On ON,
| side Inv uuietly q hIinkinp dor nn,9 =.