South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1880-04-23
WIT AND IIUMOR.

WIT AND IIUMoR.
There is an old saying that .leap wear
IS fruit year [Hawkeye. 1t ought to
DC good year for -[Philadelphia
News.
They went fishing. She looked Ian
Buiuiy AT him and said: i wish the fish
would bite at your hook; ifI was fish
| would
clergyman asked his Sunday school;
win what remarkable weapon did Sam
son at one time STAY q number Of Phil
istinesT For while there was no an
s"er, and the clergyman. to assist the
children little, commenced tapping
ms Jaw with the end of his finger, at the
same time saying: What's this?'
Quick as thought little fellow limo
Gently replied, The jaw bone of an
ass, sir
n dandy, while being measured for
pair OF boots, observed:
Make them over tho calf.
1ieayensP exclaimed the astonished
artist, surveying his customer from head
TO loot, Il haven't leather enough
n gentleman finding his whiskey
punch little TOO Lot, blew it with his
breath to cool it. Blowing your own
horn, | sce,' said his comrade.
The modern society belle is like a
locomotive; she drags train after her.
but, coma to think OF it, there is diff
terence between them one has head
light, tue other has o light head
10, yer reverence, all them names
nc called me, an sis I, Il wouldn't de-
nanc meself 20 lose me tmper wild
such q low blackeuard,' so jist knock.
cd him over wild me stick and came g.
way
This world without woman-loveIv
woman-would be like blank sheet Of
paper even ruled.
REGTsTERING WOMEN VoTERs IN Bos
ToN.--Wc are indebted to a staff cor
respondent" for the following anecdote
concerning the recent registration of fe
NAL voters III Boston Its accuracy is
vouched for by an eminent artist one
oil the most distinguished stone-cutters
of the Iubb.
Enter old lady of a certain age.
81 wish to register, sir"
Your name, please 2"
"Almira Jane Simpson"
Your age ~
Beg pardon"
Your age 2"
DO [ understand that l must give
my age?"
Yes, miss, the law requires it,"
Worlds, sir would Lot tempt me to
give 1t Not that | care. No !; had as
lief wear 1T on my bonnet, rs a hacaman
does his number; BUT Tn TWIN, and
II my sister has a weakness, it is that
she dislikes any reference made to her
age; and could not give my own, be-
cause l don't wish to OFFEND HER Edi-
tors Drawer IN lIarper's Magazine for
May.
An lrishman who recently waited at
tho Cardinals table in Dublin, On q Fri
day, when there were seventeen course
of fish, vas quite unable TO repress his
astonishment. ''Bedad, if that's what
sc call fastin' it's mesclf that could
stand Lent all the year round.
y Clergyman says that, while visiting
a colored school in the South, he asked
a tiny darkey what lie studied for, and
what was his object in attending school.
ilesitating a moment or two the little
fellow answered: 10 cit offs"
At dinner she had Il doctor on either
hand, one of whom remarked that they
were well served, Stree they had duck
between them. Yes, she broke in
her wit is the sort that comes in flashes
and | AIN between two quacks.'
Then silence fell.
Az lrrevereut young man a. coumu.
Mon service, handed back the wine
goblet 20 the old deacon, and astonished
him by whispering in his ear: That's
about The worst port ! ever tasted
A BRIGHT little five oar-oM miss
was taken to the barn ID see some sheep.
and, after looking at them for a mo
meut, she exclaimed: oh, aGnlie, see
The sheep all wear their hair banged,
as-.-.--s--1---sSs.ssz---zzsa -r-,--r.-srsr
Halls Vegetable Sicilian Hair Re
newer has for many years occupied an
honorable place in the toilet OF Americ n
women, aad has also attained POPULAR,
~ in foreign countries. This ia because
il does perform what it promises. is