Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-01-29
All sorts.

All sorts.
POtters are urnest men.
Hard wear-Tight boots.
Sure of their crops-Hens.
A householder is a nagriculturist.
A dear little thing-The diamond.
There are no sweets in family jars.
Goats milk should make good butter,
Every greenback has silver line in
There are menageries, but no women
ageries.
Christopher Columbus is Leadville
cobbler.
Wether maps ought to be drawn on
sheepskin.
Advocates of improved husbandry-
Old maids.
The situation of prisoner in court is
a trying one.
The underground reservation is the
best for the Utes.
All appear W GuC UNDERSTANDING
"Wipe your feet"
Laziness is said to begin in cobwebs
and end in chains.
A match is light-headed when it
comes to the scratch.
Mosquito bars, like good lies, are
made out of hole-cloth.
You shouldn't count your Utes be-
fore they are Hatch-ed.
Mr.. Edison has given US geat deal
of light literature lately.
Eads thinks he can make the river
keep it's mouth open now.
Precocious statesmanship-Boy at ia
BILE making celery grab.
New York girls like buses better
than the elevated railways.
A recent discovery is telephone
talked to death by barber.
A woman's curiosity will always 60
further than her pin money.
The Edison light will make counting
both difficult and dangerous.
The turning-point in an organ-grind-
er's life is generally the crank.
The farmer always finds mower work
to do in summer than in winter.
The Laplander eats tallow candle
when he wants light breakfast.
The first thing man takes in his
life is his milk; the last is his bier.
Leadville is called young town be-
cause its inhabitants are mostly min
ers.
"In hog signo vinces" appears to be
the motto fthe packing-house propri-
etOrs.
A hen is model for dancers. She
never leaves her set except to eat aud
drink.
Vain pride of dress is sure a very
curse, Ere fashion you consult, consult
your purse.
Strange that the more money you
give an Organ-grinder the more cranky
he becomes.
"Ah" said deaf man who had a
scOlding wife, "man wants but little
hear below"
The beehive is the poorest thing in
the world to fall back on, except on q
hornets nest.
Two souls with but single thought
boss the other.
Won Suppe's new opera is to be call
ed "Hell on earth" Married life set
to music, as it We're.
There too few men following the
plough in this country and too many |
following the women.
They have beau-tanical garden in
st. Louis, where young people have
meetings and take leaves.
When a thief snatches a watch and |
transfers it to confederate he does so
merely to pass away time.
Adam set the fashion of bridal tours
when he took Eve on journey from
Eden just after their wedding.
One never realizes just how much a
pair of skates can benefit tailor till he
puts them on for the first time.
If was lokle editor,
Wouldn't have time?
wouldn't print cussed word
For lessen a line.
A melancholy case OF semi-suicide-I
A naughty little boy, having been
threatened with whipping, immedi-
ately hung his head.
Little Mabel's zebra stockings
Gently hang across the tub;
Brother George will find them useful
When he starts his baseball club.
The worst case of "stage fright" is
that of the man who thinks he has
passed up two-dollar-and-a- half gold
piece instead of dime to the driver.
The girl with the seal-skin sacque,
She cancelled up her bacque;
She walked on her toes
And turned up her nose
AS she stepped into the hacque.