The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-09-08
SEPTEMBER 8.
VARIETIES.


If man have love in his heart he
may talk in broken language, but it
will be eloquence to those who listen.
Rochester girls faint dead away at
a proposal of marriage, and the pro-
poser jumps through the window in
his terrible fright
If a man does not make new ac>
quaintances as he advances through
! life he will soon find himself alone
! A man should keep his friendship in
constant repair.
"Will you have some strawber-
ries ?" asked lady of guest. ayes,
madam eat strawberries with en-
thusiasm." DO tell We haven't
anything bnt cream and sugar for
them this evening""
Beneath many a sun bonnet in
the berry pasture, there is a bright
eye and rosy tanned cheek that
causes the farmers boy TO drop his
OK whip and scale the fence, just to
help fill II? the basket, that's all.
Recorder Ito witness with ban
daged head)-"Did he have any pro.
vocation when he struck you ?"
Witness-"He may have had some>
thing of the kind consayled on his
parson, but it was brick he struck
me Wild" ''-
A Philadelphia lady who never
spanked her boy hard enough to
hurt him, recently hung in her sit
ting room the Illuminated motto:
whatsoever thy hand findeth to do,
do 1t with thy might" The boy re
formed on the spot. ..,.
After several years NV reflection l
have come to the konklusion that the
three most difficult things in life are
list. Carryin an armful NV live
cells up a steep hill without spillin'
an eel : I'd. Aktin as a referee at a
dog fight without gettin' mad; Sd.
Edith newspaper.-Josh Billings.
A charming young girl in Bellaire,
Was in trouble about her front hair
If arranged in bang
| It never would hang
At all straight, but waved wild in the air.
SO she heated an iron red hot,
! And went i'll for Il friZZ on the spot,
She will never look cute,
But by purchasing jute
Is as likely to fool folks as not.
The beauty of holiness is beauty
that never fades. There is no decay
from time no 1eformity from over
STRAIN, and no loss of form or bloom
from the burden and heat OF the day.
And it hath not vet attained, neither
is already perfect. 1t doth not yet
appear what it shall be-. butit daily
gravitates toward the great white
light that is round the throne of God.
Women with banged hair are de-
ceittul. they cover up their show
of intellect. and man will marry
one OF them, expecting to have good
natured fool for wife; but she'll
turn out smarter'n than chain light
ming, and made him dance all the
household horn-pipes.-Neeo Haven
Register. .-.r4
lie came into our sanctum with
large roll of manuscript under his
arm, and said very politely: II have
a trifie here about the beautiful sun
set yesterday, which was dashed off
by friend of mine which would
like inserted if you have room"
"Plenty of room. Just insert it
yourself" replied the editor, gently
pushing the waste basket toward
him.
"Where are You going?" said a
young gentleman to an elderly one
in white cravat, whom he overlook
few miles from Little Rock. "I'm
going to heaven, my son. l have
been on my way tor eighteen years."
"Well, gooG-by, old fellow! If you
have been travelling toward heaven
for eighteen years. and got no nearer
than Arkansas, / will take another
route" 4
Johnny's essay on dogs: Last
summer our dog Towser was lynn in
the sun trine to sleep, but the flies
was that bad that he couldn't cos he
had to catch 'em, and bime by bee
lit on his head, and was workin'
about like the dog was hisn. Tow
ser he held his head still, and when
the bee was close to his nose, Tow
ser winked at him like he sed you
see what this buffer is dom, he thinks
I'm a lily.of the-valley which isn't
opened yet, but you just wait till 1
blossom and you will see some fun,
and sure enut Towser opened his
month very slow so as not to iritten