Morning journal and courier., 1880-04-03
UNPLEDGED.

If an old sheep can only jump fence they call it ''spring lamb"
 The rear of the horse is always from the front. With mule the case is different.
 ssPinafors" show bills are printed on large type, so that s'he that reads may run" ."-New Orleans Picayune.
 The reason s'the boy stood on the burning deck' WAS because 1t was too hot to sis down. Waterloo Observer.
 If Potiphar's wife could have gratifed her ambition she would have been great major general. She would have been Joseph hooker.
 It is said that young lady is completely tg changed by the very efficient management at yassar They call it making over chewers to- ward perfect womanhood.
 A nice distinction. -Housekeeper to milk man My friend, you put water in your milk" s'Oh, no, dont't ma'am." But am sure you do." ''Oh, no. ..ma'am." "Now will you say solemnly that you do not put water in your milk p "WeL, ma'am, well, I must say that sometimes put soma water in the can, and put the milk in that, but l never put the water in the milk"
 ssWhen was once in danger from tiger, said an old East Indian veteran, 'I tried sit ting down and staring at him, as l had no | weapon" s'How did it work ?" asked by
 stander Perfectly tho tiger didn't offer | to touch me-. strange! very strange |! How did YOU account for it ?" ''Well, some times I've thought that it was because l sat down on high branch of very tall tree" few days since-this is faet-a little feI- 1 low anxious to find home for a pet kitten, where it would stand right good chancs of being well brought up, carried 1t to the resi- dence of one of our clergymen, asking him, as he responded to the knock, if he would like kitten? 'tOh, don't know" said he; |;
 ''what kind of 8 kitten have you gotf' "A Unitarian kitten, sir" ''No, guess not of that sort" A few mornings after the little fellow appeared at the same door, rang the door-bell, and again found himself face to face with the ''man of the house." The boy re- peated his offer of the juvenile feline. "But aren't you the same boy that called the other day and isn't this the same little Unitarian kitten you had then ?n "I know it, ," the little man responded, Sits the same kitten, but he s got his eyes open now, and he's an Episcopal kitten" It is fair to surmise that the s'open- ing of it's eyes, proved the salvation of pussy. and found for it aA agreeable and congen1al home.-Olinton Courant.
 One of the members of the bar in Sarato- ga, who thoroughly enjoys good joke, re- lates the following, and applies the moral to himself: Not long since he was counsel in a case before Judge Pratt, referee. and during the progress of the trial became little bit noisy, as he sometimes does, when the judge looked up and said to him "Mr. -, dld you ever hear of the man whe WAS lost in the woods during thunder storm ?" On being answered in the negative, the judge contin- ued: s'A man, in attempting to pass through piece of woods, lost his way, and while he was in that predicament fearful thunder storm came up. The woods grew awfully dark. The rearing of the wind, the crashing of the thunder was terrific. The man was frightened and started to pray, but not being ussd to that business said o. Lord give us little more light and little less noisel I don't mean you, MT. -" added the judge The counsel says that the audience supposed all the time the judge did mean him, and now that he thinks of 1t himself he in- clines to that opinion also.