Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1880-11-04
Adam Himself Speaking

~ made up my mlnd," said the re-
porter, "that if the ghost ever appeared
in my bedroom again, I would overcome
my fears and speak to it, instead of bury
ing my head under the covers, as l did
the first time. Well, sir, sure enough,
the next night, exactly at eleven, I heard
faint noise by the bed, and I looked
around. There sat the specter in chair.
I sat right up and said, with some firm
ness, although my voice trembled:
"Who are you9"
81 am nobody in particular now" said
the ghost, shut was ADAM
"Adam who9''
"Had no family name. There was but
one family of us, and they all knew me.
I was the first man, you know. You
must have heard of me.''
ayes, indeed" said the reporter.
"I'm sorry can't shake hands, said
the ghost, ''but you might as well try to
shake hands with fog bank as with me
It's not sociable, I know, but can't help
it,
"Never mind,r said the reporter, SIN
81 ad to see you just the same"
"Your name is johnson, amt it9'
asked the specter.
"No, my name is Jackson" replied
the reporter.
"Pshaw!" said the ghost. 81 was look
ing for man named johnson; but my
eYesight ia so bad that I couldn't rea6
yonr door. plate distinctly. The worst
it, toe, I can't wear spectacles; nothing
is substantial enough to hitch them to
l wish some of you people would inven
an eye-glass that can be worn by near
sighted ghosts. You would confer gen
uine benetactlon upon the folks.in the
other world.''
"What was your business with John.
soma Perhaps can"
"Well, in the first place, understand
that he Is one of committee appointed
to get up statue of me for the city o.
Elmila. / have been in to see that stat
ne, and I want to ask johnson where ht
got the idea that I used to wear straw
hat and side whiskeIs. I want to know
also. what authority he has for givi1
me Roman noseg"
"Hadn't you one of that kind9"
"Why, man, the Romans hadn't in
troduced that variety of nose in my time
And johnson has had me represented
with huge serpent lying at my feet
Now, what was the use OF bringing III
painful "reminiscences OF that kind9 WIN
not let the matter drep9 Hanged it
like itp
"It's an outraged"
"Between ourselves" said the spectre
locking his misty fingers over his knee
81 don't think much Of the state business
anyhow. Do you know what they did
Too stingy to make fresh piece of sculp
ture out Of piece ofmarble, they Dough
up second hand statue of Benjamin.
Franklin at auction, and hired man t,
work it ever into me. Doesn't leok |
particle like me. And, anyhow, Frank
, lin was no kind of a man to make m,
out of. Greenbacker or something, wa
not he2"
"We consider him quite respectable.
"Another thing I want with johnson
, is to see if I can't make arrangement
with some reliable spiritulast1c medium
, I've beeu crowded out in the cold TO
about 1000 years, with no chance to par
ticipate in anything. Now, I'm the ma
that started this world. j gave it send
of, and it really does seem hard that
can't even express my views in a news
paper, or defend myself from this cal
t umny, just because happen to be dead
now, doesn't it2"
every hard, but we didn't think yor
took any interest in such things"
"Certainly. I often feel as if I'd lik
j to express an opinion about the tariff, @
the elections, or the buzzard dollar, o
popular education, or something of tina
, kind; and then, of course, Eve wants t
, hear all about the fashions. 1wlsh ther
: was some way for ghost to save q littl
. money, so that I'd subscribe to fashio
, journal or two, just to quiet her. Do 20
, know of anything could get at9''
Chow would it do to make an engage
ment at the theater to appear as th
ghost OF Hamlet's father or the ghost q
Banquo."
at doesn't strike me, very favorably.
! might be considered rather undignifie
: in the father of the race to be hangin
around among econe-shiftcrs and fiddler
Besides, they have too much light on th
stage for me; can't get into shape III
, less there is absolute darkness. An
then, you know, I'd be exposed to insul
When we hear cock crow we are oblie
ed to fit. Now, suppose that right j
: the middle Of performance some mise
! able boy should crow. Even If / knee
! that it was false alarm I should be q
unnerved that could not go on; br
most likely I'd vanish as soon as I hear
3 ! it from force of habit. No, the propos