The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-18
JUMBLES.

than a mere announcement.
An article in a San Francisco paper de-
scribing st. Louis says: "The city is well
laid out" It is indeed-by the late census.
"A lady in Jericho, W., hearing great
deal about 'preservihg autumn leaves," put
up somejbut afterward told neighbor that
they were not fit to oati
"A little boy who act5hipanied his father
to the theatre to see the play called "Drink,"
asked his parent if it was thus called be-
cause 60 many young men went out between
the acts.
"A temperance lecturer was asked !:
"What shall we do with the grain now re-
quired for distilling7" Feed the drunk
ards wives withit-they have gone hungry
long enough" was the prompt reply.
"A poor rheumatic lady said to her phy-
sician, "oh, doctor, doctor, suffer so much
with my hands and feetl" "Be patient,
dear madam" he soothingly responded; I;
"you'd probably suffer a great deal more
without them"
Two Irishmen were passing some black
berry bushes. "What's these, Mike ?" in
quired Pat of his companion. "Nothing but
blackberries," said the latter. "But they're
red, Mike. DWELL, Pat, blaokberries are al
ways red when they're green"
1t was Douglas Jerrold who showed
that the English language Is quite able to
express the most intense emotion by saying
of man who had proved himself tho
rough scoundrel, "He would sharpen a knife
upon his fathers tombstone to kill his
mother"
-Poulterers and Farmers that ere alive to
their interests are at this season of the year
giving their chickens nj. b. Roberts Poultry
Powders. 1t makes them healthy and strong
consequently more valuable for the fall
trade.
"A well educated conscience is like sun
dial with the sun blazing down on it. 1t
tells you the exact time from the sunrise to
The sunset of life. An uneducated consci-
ence is Of very little more use to man than
to go to sun dial at night with lantern
in your hand.
--Ifyou have horse for sale, one. package
of Roberts Horse Powders will improve his
condition TO the extent Of 10 per cent in his
selling price. Farmers figure this out. rs
cents buy package. For sale by all drug
Bists
Fashionable Galveston young lady at
social gathering remarks jestingly to Gill
hooly: al wonder how much l would bring
if was put up at auction and sold to the
highest bidler?" "Just about So ,OOO ""Why,
my jewelry alone is worth that" "Yes 1;
that's what put it down at in my cstim-
ate."
-Walker--Afe there any two things as an
tagonistic as Hancock and GARFIELD 4? Miller
Certainly, Rheumatism and Roberts EN-.
brocation. Walker-Why Miller-Because
where the EmbrocatOn is 1t is too hot for
rheumatism. Sold by all druggists at 35
and 10 cents.
Nothing is more ridiculous than ignor.
ance which imagines itself wisdom. An IL
literate colonel about to join his regiment
secured the country TO find what he called
a "horse du combat" which he thought was
the French for war horse. Poor fellow ! he
afterward found it on the battle field.
This is not fairy tale, although there is
some magic about it and II you have any
desire to I'M iind out what Kind of a tale IT is, or
bottle of Sines' Syrup of Tar, Wild Cherry
and HOarhound, and the secret may be learn
ed from the inside wrapper. Sold by all drug
gists at 70 and 90 cents per bottle.
You never see the struggle between du-
ty and inclination more strongly marked
than in the respectful attitude of dog sit
ting on the sidewalk, his head bent back and
one foot aimed at the back of his ear, un6e
cided whether to spring up and answer the
Imperative whistle of his master, or sit still
and shoot the flea he has just got the exact
range and right elevation on.
-"Quo.h the Raven, never more ~ But
he had no reference to Sines' Syrup of Tar.
Wild berry and HoarhOund for II onl y needs
one trial for people evermOre to use 1t In case
of Colds and Coughs and all affections of the
Bronchial Tubes. Sold by all reliable drug
gists at rs and 56ccnts per bottle.
al am sergeant in the old guard"
said the fat passenger who is always the lasl
man in the bour1ing- house to come down
to breaklast,and as he saw the look of inquir.
ing intelligence pass around the table, he
added-"the lug-gard." But the tall thin
passenger near the foot of the table, took all
the sand out of his joke by saying he
thought he was going to say "slug-gard."
Mothers, before giving your little babe
cough or Group medicines, remember that
Sines' Syrup of Tar, Wild Cherry and Hoar-
hound is the only Cough Preparation that
contains no opium morphine nor any Other
narcotic.
-"oh I'm just delighted with George"
said a soft-hearted maiden to an older and
more matter-of-fact brother. "He's just tn,
sweet for anything. The last time he was
here be was 80 ipIl of fun; didn't you think
50, brother2" "IIe may have been full Of
fun, sister but he acted mo;e to me as if be
hud been full Of beer" A tableau and
sharp siam of the parlor door closed tn,
s,ene.
For Croup sSdden and severe attacks OF
| Gold. take SineslSyIup OF Tar WAd Cherry
and Hoarhound.
-"Well, | declare, don't know what I,
preserve this fall ?" exclaimed Mrs. Fuss
about; "pesehts is high, ano plum ISM
worth putting up, and quinces is as bad a
hive syrup" There is no knowing how
much longer she would have gone on if Mr.
Fussabout had not suggested that she NIGH
preserve her temper, for want of anything
better. Then she stopped but he iidn't-
he left.
-Sines' Syrup ol Tar. wild Cherry and
! HoaThuund stands 81 the head Of all prepara-
| tions of Ia HOarhOund and II needs only on
J trial to satisfy the most increduIous that II
! will do all that is claimed of II ; that for
! Coughs and Colds Il has no e1aal! Sold by
all druggists at rs and so cents per bottle.
A sharp retort, when it is ill-natured
is like the sting Of a wasp. 1t not only pain,
at the time. but makes a poisoned wound
which is very hard to heal. A good-natur
ed retort, on the other hand, is like catching
a ball on the fly.
ITO be? or not to be = That Is the ques
| tiOn." Whether tits nobler in the mind 4
suffer the aches and pains that human fiesl
Is heir TO, when overtaken by a severe cOugl
or cold, or 10 purchase a bottle Of Sine's Sy-
rup OF Tar, Wild Cherry and Hoarhound anC
by thus opposing, end them. Sold by al
/ all druKgis rs aud SO cents per bottle,