The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-07-27
A PROBLEM I'M ALCHEMY.

Some years ago we had in the United States
an odd genius known by the soubriQuet OF
"Live Forever JONES'" a nickname conferred
upon him because he claimed to have dis
covered Il certain medical compound whose
virtue was such that the person using it
would live forever. But there was a mistake
somewhere in the formula, for in 80, or
about there, the excellent Mr.. Jones pegged
out, after the name Of common humanity,
his untimely demise, at the prime of life,
having an ultra tendency towards disproving
the qualities claimed for his life everlasting
elixir. What a pity it is, though, that a live
forever compound of this character was not
really discovered! How convenient it would
be about this time. With what confidence
would we be inspired concerning the future
of our noble territory if we could but pre-
scribe a few live-forever cocktails for our
congressional delegate, to replace the ordina-
ry sour mash in which, since his democracy
has never been impugned, it is to be presumed
that he makes it a point of conscience to
indulge. But alas! we have no livc-forever
drops; and more's the pity. What is to be-
come of Montana if, as some worthy people
assure us, there is no body to take Magin-
mis- place" The persons making this state
ment are few, very few in number, 1t is true
but since they have no other reason,
or trace of a reason to bring for
ward iii support Of a fifth term,
1t is but charitable to accept as
literal truth their one statement, "there is
nobody to take Maginnis' place. and proceed
to mourn accordingly. We have all lad an
idea, more or less distinctly formed, that
Montana was destined at all early day to be-
come a great and populous state. As a state,
the administration of her government will
give employment to an Infinitely greater
depth and breadth of craftsmanship than can
possibly be exercised in the management OF
her affairs while yet q territory. But where
are We to find hands of the requisite skill and
strength to be entrusted with the administra-
ton of d fully matured state, if the duties of
a territorial delegate are of TOO abstluse a
nature for even the ablest men we now have?
Alas. that the people of Montana should
be so poorly qualified for the work of self
government. What, OH what are we to do
when the old chap with the seythe gathers in
the gallant Martin with the harvest of the
righteous, which includes all good democrats:
What are we to do? "Who is going to take
care of we?" What is to become of The poor
Montana orphans when they lose the only
man fit to send to congress or. as some east
ern people think, one of the few men in the
territory who can sign his name without
making his mark? Clearly, we have but one
| lie of duty before us. We must set our
selves to work to discover that live-forever
compound which the good Mr.. Jones believed
cry Eureka the ~country's safe. Old Time
las ""ncelled lis mortgage on Martin, who
will continue to boss us for all time, and the
balance of eternity Yes, let's set our wits
to work to find this elixir. 1t will he .tiust
medicine for Martin if we manage to dis
cover it. Failing to find il, though, we must
make different arrangements. No use intry-
ing to induce him to govern us from the
spirit land, for, as the COnrier recently in
formed us, che don't want II {the delegate
ship after he is dead In that case we must
enter into negotiations with the folks of
Utah. They may be induced to lend us a
few public men, if we describe our actual
condition, and give them to understand that
among the citizens of Montana none can be
found equal to the duties required of them.
THE DELEEA IES