The Orangeburg democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1879-1881, 1880-04-09

When pretty girl is altircd in
wine colored silk, lis she an intoxica.
ting Lcauly?f 5 d
Professor in law rccitation-
"Mr. --, what is cNcusablc hom-
icidc?" Senior, promptly-"Excus-
able homicide is when a man kills
himself in scll-deiensc.''
-"I'll not compromise my honor"
said q lond-voiccd politician. "No
and for the same reason l will not
;rlosc the eye in the back of my
head" said his opponent.
-"l'll make you prove that," said
a man TO another, who had accused
him Of theft. t!Don't," said witty
hy-stander, "for you'll feel worse af
ter it than you do now"
In an Indiana church the best
looking young ladies' arc selected to
pass the contribution boxes, and there
isn't q young man in the congrega-
tion that dare drop in Il button.
"A country negro recently sent 4
reply TO an invitation, in which lie
regretted that circumstances rcpug-
iiant to the rcquiesccnce prevent his
acceptance cf the inyite.'
--"Your late husband madam,"
began her lawycr-"Yes I know he
was always late out O nights, but
now that he's dead don't let us up
h:aid him." said his charitable widow.
-s The expression of a boys face al
the end of n straw that lacks two in
ches Of reaclrihg the cider in barrel
is supposed to be the model that the
artist selected in the de!incstion OF
Adam leaving paradise.
"A school boy, being asked by
his teacher how lie should nog him,
replied, tts1f you please, sir, should
like 10 have il on the Italian system
of pcnmanshlp-thc heavy strokes
up3arA and the downward ones
light
The possibilities OF the telephone
are not exhausted, and there is no
telling where the science Of acoustics
will end. Large steamboats, arc now
daily conveying by sound from New
York to New Haven and vice versa.
soils and pomade are no longer
used on the hair" This is q sensible
cdict OF fashion. Hereafter youn ,!
man can help young lady 10 say
Nothing in par ticular on Sunday even.
ing without having his vest soilcd.
"A young man who went to Lead
vile about six weeks ago writes
chccrfplly back to his friend: 81 have
gained three pounds since ! came
here, aad GGinch it all in half ounce
instnllmcnts. Haven't been shot in
The head yet
-"Rcg pardon sir! But I've jus.
caught these two Young rascals max
lng.a slide in front OF your doorstep,
and they sav MS you gave 'em permis-
sion" "lt's quite correct; did,
policeman. The fact is, expect my
.iiothcr law to luncll2o,..'
.,,-Thc following testimonial OF n
certain patent medicine speaks for lis
tlf: "Dcur Sir: Two months my wife
gould scarcely speak. Sh{: has taken
i~u bUtt!u us of you Life Rcncwcr,
anil now she can't speak ut all
l'ltsc send me two more bottles. !
woa.',.nt be without it,
"A little 10y from New York went
ihlo ING country fl5'lihs. lle llau
bowl Of bread and milk. Ic tasted it
and then hcstalctl moment, when
his mother asked him if he didn't
like it, to which he replied, amacking
his lips: "Ics, ma; / was wishing
our milkman wonld keep Il cow"
-''profcssor," said n cheeky Soph,
"is there any danger of disturbing
the ma nelic currents if ! examine
that compass too closcly:' and The
stern professor, loving his little joke,
promptly responded: NO, sir; brass
l,as no ciitct whatever on thcm;"
thereby scoring three against the IN.
suspecting man Of cribs.
"A woman Of business that was,
Who told the doctor he oughln't to