Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-01-29


Tricking . 6cotchman.
A correspondent who has recent.
iy visited gentleman who 10 fond
of playing tricks upon travellers, re-
lates how . Scotchman was served
the first night he stopped at the
house.
The Sootchmsn was treated with
extreme hospitality be was helped
to everything to excess; his glass
was not allowed to stand full or
empty for minute. The rotations
we're suspended not. only while the
cloth Was being laid for supper, dur.
ing and after which they were res
Dewed with renovated vigor. His
entertainer was like the landlord
described by Addison; the liquor
seemed to have no moro ; feet upon
him than upon any other vessel in
tho house. It was not so with the
Scotch guest. who was by this time
further advanced than 'half seas
over"
In this state he was conducted to
his chamber fine lofty gothic
apartment, with q bedstead that
seemed coevsi with tho building
But this was not the fact, for it was
really modern bit OF furniture. 1t
Was OF dark mahogany, with it's four
posts extending completely to the
ceiling of the chamber. The bed.
however, was not more than two
feet from the floor.
The Scotchman, with . good deal
of assistance, was soon addressed,
and put in bed. All the party then
retired, bidding him good. night and
removing the candle for fear of &C.
oident.
The harmless looking bedstead
was in reality an ingenious piece of
mechanism. Upon the touching OF
a spring, outside the door, the bed
was so acted upon by. . pulley that
it assembled slowly and smoothly
through the four posts until it came
within two Or three feet of the cell.
ing. The enoriEg of the Scotcbman
was the signal for touching the
spring,and he was soon at the prop
err altitude.
The servants required no instruc-
tons how to act In one moment
the house was in an uproar; cries
of Fire! FIRE |" were heard in all
directions. A pile of shavings WAS
set on FIRE opposite the window
where poor Sawney slept, and the
landlords voice was continually
heard exclaimine:
"Good heavens save the poor
Scotch gentleman il possible the
flames have got into the room just
below him !"
AT this moment there was the
sound of fall and howl of fright.
A sudden silence followed; every
light was extinguished, and the
whole house was seemingly buried
10 the most profound repose. The
Scotchman's voice alone could be
heard, roaring out in the highest dia.
lect OF his country, for assistance.
At length two of the men servants,
in their shirts, entered the room with
a candle just lighted, and yawnipg as
If just aroused from their first sleep.
They found the victim SPRAYING on
the floor.
"Oh dear, sir, what is the matter
with your"
"Matter !" cried he, "why, isn't
the house on FIRE ?"
"Not at all, SIR"
+" What was the reason of the cries
of fro, then 2"
I Bless you, sir, you must have
been dreaming; why, there's not so
much as mouse stirring, and bis
honor and the whole family have
been asleep these three hours"
IL must ha' been dreaming, 10.
deed" said tho bewildered Scot
"and l ha' hurt myself by falling
ont Of the bed.
Hurt yourself mo. much,
hope, az the bed is SO low" for by
this time it had been made to de.
scend to it's proper level.
The poor fellow was quite con
fused; was extremely sorry that he
hsd disturbed the family I; begged
q thousand pardons; accompanied
the servants to the door, and was
once more lett in the dark.
As soon as the door closed the
spring was touched, and tho bed
again rose to the ceiling. The list
eners could hear the Scotcbman
cropping about in q vain endeavor to
find his couch. His astonisbment
was manifest in ordinations not
loud but deep, for fear of again dis
turbiDg the family. He could easily
discover tho bedposls, and was heard
moving his hands mp and down
them in search Of the bed. Then he
would lift leg and try &c step into
his couch, but his foot struck the
floor. At last he gave up his hope
less efforts and disposed of himself
for the night on q couple of chairs.
When he was quiet the bed was
made to slide down again, and in
the morning Sawney could not ex-
press his sstonshment at not hav.
ing been able to fnd it in the dark,
firmly Deliev ng that some Internal
spirit had put "a cantrip" ON him.
Kidney Diseases.
Kidney diseases afiict the greater part of