The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-07-22
WIT AND WISDOM.

The society lady never sheds tears.
She knows enough to keep her powder
dry.--Boston Transcript.
--Hymen is always represented as
bearing torch, as if to make it warm
for people who marry.-N. o. Rcayune.
"A facetious census enumerator calls
his book of names new edition of
the Conflict of Ages" -Norristow,s
Herald.
You always hear of the man who
draws the big prize in lottery, but
you never meet him.-Detroi Free
Press.
NO woman was ever known to
marry a man whose first remark on be-
ing introduced to her was about the
weather.--An zreWs' Bazar.
"A cool transaction-Buyinga refrig-
orator. Journal of Commerce.
1t will be cooler when you fill it with
ice and pay this summers prices
Nev Haven Register.
Miss Mayhower: "Do you paint
from posture very much, Mr.. Daub?'
Artist: 80, no; I prefer original things
out of my head, you know Miss
NJ: "Out of your head? That's what
you mean by the frenzy of genius,
suppose. "-Haruard Lan,poon.
Some men are born to bad luck.
A New Hampshire man went through
three years of the war and wasn't even
scratched or sick day, while his next
neighbor got wound in the only battle
he was in that entities him to a big pen
sion, while the first poor fellow has to
work for a living.-Boston Post.
--"l say, mister. this is double
seat, and you can't lay over it in that
way" said a standup passenger in a
crowded car to another passenger who
was making himself too much at home.
"Can't lay over the seat?" echoed the
loafer. "Bet your life I can. See
here, have a lay-over check from the
conductor, and it is good. o. Pic
Gyu,se.
There is a great deal of interesting
conversation going over the telephone
wires if you leave the machines open
and listen. The message of fond
mother, whose cherub had eaten a
watermelon or so too much, and gen.
tleman who had sent home a large red
fish for dinner, got mixed yesterday.
First voice" What shall do about
the baby2'' Second voice" Scrape
all the scales off him, cut him open and
have him dressed nicely for dinner
with caper sauce. Amt he whoppcr?"
Gu 'vest0n NeUs.
1t was sad occasion The doc
tors said the man couldn't live, and
weeping friends surrounded his bed
side. But he was not reconciled to de-
part. He was young. and there was
much to hold him to life. He struggled
hard, mentally, to accept the situation,
but he couldn't feel right about it. At
length he opened his eyes, and asked in
q feeble whisper if the leader of the viii
lage band was at home. If so, he de-
sired. as last dying request, that the
band be brought ont and allowed to
play one. of their favorite airs, Number
six, he thought, under his window.
The appeal was granted. and before the
concluding strain was reached sub
missive smile lowered about the shrunk-
en- Ups of the departing one as he MUIR
INJURED, I'm resigned. Nothing
worse-can-happen Then his
light went out.--Cinci,saati Saturday
Night.
WHILE negro was hocing in q gar
den in Georgia recently he dug up
some heavy substance. He split it open
with an ak, and carried the pieces to a
white man, who recognized it to be
pure gold, and paid the negro one dol,
lar for both pieces. He afterward sold
them to ;cweler for twenty-five dol
lars. This is thought to be the famous
"Sims nugget" that was supposed to
nave heen lost bv a gang of counter