The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-08-12
What Has Been.

Our youthful illusions inger with us
still, to certain extent, world-wOrn
though we are. The friends of our
childhood stand forth boldly in our
memory. None other were half so true,
So kind, so witty, so clever. There was
that sweet young poet who might have
become second Tennyson, if only he
would have condescended to give his
music to the world, but who preferred
instead to inscribe his matchless gems
in albums and the like-hQw deyoutly
we believed in him how profoundly
we admired him The other day we
turned up batch Of his fluctuations,
and re-read them with the light of thirty
years in between. We found them sick
" in tone, false in sentiment, hating in
their feet, and of impure or femin inc
rhymes. And we were foolish enough
to regret that the illusion of years had
been shattered! What boundless
wealth with his 1900 a year had the
Cresus of our modest village! We
have since known men only tolerably
we'll of on SIC, 0OO-men who envied
their neighbors who had $50, 600, and
thong ut themselves poorb comparison.
The local beauty Of our young days
would, We are very sure, prove herself
to have been an addressed, simpering,
milllner-ike young person, could we
but see her now, with our experience of
what real, high-bred, well-dressed
beauty is; the clever young lady who
used to talk in hexameters. who con-
fessed in Latin and was suspected of
Greek, and whose learning we took to
be as deep as the sea, would turn ont to
be only voluble young blue stocking,
who houndered boldly where she could
not swim. The Hebe of our youth
would reveal herself as the hoyden of
our age; the sel-made local scientist
with his discovery of perpetual motion,
his balloon that would not collapse, his
locomotive that was as safe as church
he was only poor dreamer; and the
village Hampden, whose arguments
were so convincing, was purblind par
tisan, who never saw more than half of
any question he took up. But We see
nothing of all this. Memory has crys-
ta'lized all these forms and characters;
and Wa see them by the light of youth
full i'm gination even now in the twilight
Of our decay, and. seeing them as we
thought they were, we love them for
what they never have been.
True Stories About Animals.
The other day the elephant came into
the big tent tanning himself YEARLY
with his ears.
% Has the mammoth hippo olympical
and monster menagerie of living wild
beasts and mastodon colossal aggrega-
ton of the road" he asked, " realized
that it is about time for the members of
the assembly to put away their furs in
cedar boxes and camphor for the sum-
mer?"
The polar bear said he believed he
would have his packed away in ice, if he
could get the provisions out of the ice
! box.
The elephant told him he would lie
more likely to hang his hide on the fence
than do anything else with it, If the
weather struck in much warmer.
The grizzly bear said he was going to
store his fur.
Where?" asked the rest Of the all
imals.
In wear house," replied the bear,
| with grim smile.
"That u.s." said the elephant, severe
ly, lyon ore going to wear it?''
son my back, ," said the bear.
And the elephant told him to be more
explicit in his remarks when they were
discussing such an important subject.
"You aren't very much worried about
your furs." the bear retorted, ''are
your"
The elephant looked little uneasy,
and backed aro&nd to hide from general
view the scanty wisp of hair at the end
of his tail.
"What have you been wearing this
winter" asked the leopard, "sussian
sable or mink p
you've been clipped, haven't you ?"
asked the monkey.
"You might soak yourself in tan
vat, said the buffalo, "and you'd have
| a nice waterproof suit of sole-1eather.
"The moths must have got into your
fur, didn't they?" asked the mink.
''You ought to have q good shampoo. {"
said the zebra, "about twice or three
times a week; that would bring the hair
| out"
"That's the trouble with him." the
giraffe said; something has brought it
ont already"
"You ought to graft yourself with q
caterplllar," said the hyena.
"Or," the Numidian lion suggested,
"you might have yourself vaccinated
with hair brush"
The elephant freely remarked that he
always had his hair cut close in the
spring, and he never suffered from the
headache nor eruptions Of the skin.
But the explanation had very thin
kind of a sound, and the conference
passed on to the discussion of the third
question, and shortly after, singing
1.-The Babies on our Block" in a very
ironical manner, adjourned.-Burling~