The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-10-29
rrsuREs FOR THE FAMILY.
now Mr.. spoopenaxhc Audited the AZ
counts Of His wife.

How Mr.. spooDenoxhe Audited the Acc |
counts Of His wife.
snow, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, I" II you'll bring me the pen and
ink. I'll look over your accounts and
straighten 'em out for you. / think
your idea OF keeping an account Of the
daily expenses Is the best thing you ever
did. It's business like, and l want to
encourage you In it,
Heres the ink" said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, growing radiant at the compli-
ment. al had the pen day before yes
terday. Let me think" and she dove
into hev work basket and then glanced
nervously under the bureau.
well, do you suppose I'm going to
split up my fingure and write with
thatP" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Where's the penn want the penn
al put it somewhere" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke. "Ahi here / have it.
Now you see," she continued, ~ put
what money / spend down here. This
is your account here and this Is the
Joint account. You know"
whats thisP" asked Mr.. Spoonpen-
dyke.
'"That's your account; this"
mo, no, mean this marine sketch
In the second line"
THAT oh, that's a T." u
"S'pose ever spent seven. dollars
wit h tail like to ftp If you're going
to make figures, why don't you make
figures. What dye want to make
picture of a prize 6gft in a column of
accounts forP What is this elephant
doing herep"
spoopendyke, obviously. Maybe it's
A. / can tell by adding 1t up"
"What are you going TO add upP
Dye count in this corner lot and that
rose bush and this pair of suspendersp
Dye add them IMP"
"That's and that is a and
the last is an 8. They come out all
right, and during the lnss month you
have spent more than l and the joint
| account together"
Haven't either. When did spend
this broken-down gunboatP"
THAT amt a boat. It's $40 for your
suit"
"Well, this tramp fishing off rock.
when did spend himw
ut amt a tramp. It's $50 cash you
took, and don't know what you spent
it for. Look at my account, now"
What's the man pulling a gig FORE"
It's nothing of the sort, That amt
a gig, it's 81 for wiggin. You see I've
only spent $22 in a month, and you've
spent $l64."
You can't tell by this what I've
DONE" growled Mr.. Sooopendyke.
Whats this rat trap doing in the
joint accountp"
That's fourteen cents for fruit, when
you were sick"
And this measly-looking old hen,
what's she got to do with itP"
"That's no hen. That's Q. It means
80 for having your chair mended."
"What have you charged me with
this old graveyard forp"
That's FIFTEEN cents for sleeve elas-
tics. The Is amt plain, but that's what
"How do you make out have spen,
so muchp Where's the vouchersP Show
me the vouchersp
don't know what you mean" sale
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "but you spent al
1 put down."
!" Haven't done anything of the sort
Show me some vouchers. Your &c
counts a humbng. You don't know
how to keep an account"
Yes, l do" pleaded Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, land think it's all right"
:" No you don't. What do you NEAR
by getting up engravings of q second.
hand furniture store and claiming thai
it's my ACCOUNT You're great book
|
hung between you and the other side O.
the street, to be commercial college
If ever fail in business. I'm going t.
fill you up with benches and start
night school. Give me that pen," anC
Mr.. SpoopeDdyke commenced running
up the columns. 1.-TWO two's four anl
eight twelve and four sixteen and carry
one to the next and three is four. Here
this is wrong. You've got an eighteen
for twenty here"
"Ehp" ierked out Mrs. Spoopendyke
"This is $204. not 1854. l knew vol
couldn't keep accounts. You can't ever
add up"
"That makes your account ever
bigger" responded Mrs. Spoopendyke
Z" / didn't think it was so much"
Slam went the book across the room
! followed by the pen, and the ink would
have gone too, hut Mrs. Spoopendyk
cautiously placed it out of harms way
bod CAST it !" howled Mr.. Spoopen
dyke, as he tore of his clothes and pre-
pared for bed. "Yo OIL amt fit to hav,
pen and ink. Next time | want m,
accounts kept I'll keep 'em chained vi
, in the yard, and don't you go near 'em
hear mep'
Yes. DEAR" sighed Mrs. Spoopen
dyke, as she slipped the obnoxious bool
into the drawer Brooklyn Edg'e.