Morning journal and courier., 1880-04-27
ARTIFICIAL.

Most proper name for legislator or Con- gressman-Bili.
 Chicago made forty million bricks last year. That Is about eighty to the hat--New York Graphic.
 Some one inquiries: ''Whsre have all the ladies' belts gone p Gone to waste, long ago.-New Orleans Picayune.
 ''You get up all kinds of bricks here don't your inquired man at brickyard. ''Yss, about all. What do you want? ?" The man edged toward the front of the yard AS he ra- piled, ''Cambrics would do,' and then can- brics at his head in every direction as he took to flight
 A victim of domestic infelIcity who Is in the habit of dreaming should never go to sleep in church while the contribution plate is being passed, and gives the following to illus trats the warning "A congregation nsar Quincy was somewhat startled Inst Sabbath when venerable member sxcitedly yelled, See here, now, drop that skillet, old wo- maa !'"-EInlira ? Free Press
 The following seene actually occurred a short timo ago in Boston public school. The teacher, being resolved to have thorough examination, asked, ''Whsrs WAS Louis XVI ''Versailles." ''Where is Versailles ?' Near Paris" ''Whers is Paris ?' 'In France" 7" ''Whsre is France?" 'Tn Europe" "Whsre is Europe?" Scholar (patronizingly)-"If you don't know that, I'm afraid it's hope less cass.' The examination cano to an abrupt and demornlized close.
 country courtship: He was young man with reddish hair and rough hsads, who lived in the neighborhood, and sho was a country girl, who combed her hair smooth behind her ears and wore a dress without a hounce on 1t. Two hours had passed without R word, then he hit her in ths side with the point of his finger as If he was stabbing at a baby's mouth, accompanying the movement with an expressive sound like ''k-r-rick." She blushed; so did he. Than be said "Huh?' And then she said: 'Uh-hu." And it was all ovsr.-Ou City Derrick.
 Too much whiskey has had very bad of feet upon a mans bump of locality. few days ago speculator staggered across New streat opposite the Stock Exchange, and ae- | oosted a broker, saying: 'Say, Mister, which is the other side of the wny?' "Oyer there, of course" was the reply, as the as tonished broker pointed to the opposite side of the street ':The deuce!" calculated the l tipsy fellow, ''J-y Cd told mo h' mo nnent ago. when was on that sids that 1t was over here. But always said that he couldn't l tell the truth. Hour.
 "A Better Job:" One of tho Methodist ministers of this city was, few days ago, called upon by 8 German and requested to conduct the services over his wife, who had just died Brother r., with his usual urbanity, consented, of course, and the ser vices were held with due decorum and solsm = nifty. After the funeral was over the widow CT stepped up to the minister, and the follow ing dialogue snsued: German ''Vell, Mir. L., how much you charge for burying my wife ?" Preacher-"Oh, I do not charge any thing for attending funerals" German (smiIing significantly now, this is very kind of you. But shtop minute In few days give you better job dan dat. " Preacher-''Why, what may that be?' Ger. man-"Oh, very much better job dau dat. be's going to get married again. ."-Roohestel | Exprass