The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-08-06
THE BACHELOR,s CONFESSION.

i 1--we In french nat. VI course
there are objections to French flats. So
there are to most things. L can't afford
q hotel. and detest boarding house.
A bachelor of thirty odd, who has been
at the mercy of boarding house keepers
all his days. can easily understand
that.
So, when engaged suite of rooms
third floor, in French fiat edifce-and
arranged my household goods therein,
with fine lookout over a green dot in
front, and the glimmer of the Palisades
far away to the rear, above a forest of
shipping, considered myself we'll off.
What is my profession? haven't any
in particular. am an artist, and draw
q little, daily, in front of my easel. I
contribute to the press and write when
the divine afflatus seizes me. read law
when feel like it, and draw regular
income from snug little property left
me when my uncle died in India. Con-
sequently was able to decorate my new
quarters very prettily with Bagdad rugs,
old China dragons, black and gold
Japanese screens, and pictures I had
picked up at q bargain.
And when the fire was burning cheer
fully in the CRATE, that first rainy May
evening, the student lamp shining
waiter from q neighboring restaurant
had brought in my frugal dinner of a
hroiled bird, mold of currant jelly, a
slice of roast beef, and raspberry
dumpling, I considered myself pretty
comfortable.
"Upon the whole" said to myself,
''I rather approve of French flats. :"
I rang the bell.
The janitor, respectful, decent sort
of fellow, in round jacket and carpet
slippers, answered in the summons.
''Janitor," said !. 'who occupies the
floor above?"
Nobody, SIR the man answered.
Last party moved out yesterday. New
party moves In tomorrow"
"a large family?" said I, rather du
biously.
BLESS your heart, sir" said the man,
mo family at all-single lady, SIR"
At this congratulated myself more
and more.
81 shall have prospect of little
peace now, think, said I and ate my
dinner in a FOOLS paradise of happiness.
The single lady moved in on the NOR
row. She must have moved in when /
was down town, selecting some new mill
boards and color-tubes for the summer
sketches that I intended to make; for,
when returned, fondly expecting once
more to enter into my kingdom of peace
and serenity. everything was changed.
There was banging and pounding
overhead, q humping and hammering-
sound as if some middle-aged giantess,
in hob-nailed shoes, were enjoying her.
self in a promenade.
sent for the janitor, in rage.
lis the house coming DOWN." said /.
fsIt's the new tenant a-movin' in, SIR
said he, apologetically.
"Does her furniture consist entirely of
Herring's safes and square pianos?"
said I.
.'There is two pianos, sir" said he.
s'She's musical"
''The deuce she isl" roared T. s'Two
pianos And does she play on 'em
both?"
.Don't know, sir, I'm sure," said the
man, with distressed expression of
countenance.
endured the noise until midnight,
and then sent up the janitor's wife.
''The third floors compliments to the
fourth floor. and would like to know if
this sort of thing is to 90 on all night"
Down came the woman again.
"Fourth floors compliments to the
third floor, and wishes to know if he
expects people TO be settled without
noise"
The next day the piano-only one,
however-commenced. I was elab-
Grating a skeleton for scientific essay,
and it disturbed me seriously. I en-
dured it as long as possibly could,
and then I had recourse once more to
the janitor's wife.
s'Third floors compliments to the
fourth floor, and will feel obliged if she
will favor me with little peace and qui-
etness, long enough to do some neces-
sary writ 1g."
There was no reply, but the music
ceased abruptly.
But that evening, when 1 was begin
ming to solace myself with a little violin
practice in the twilight, tap, tap, tap,
came the janitor's wife at my door.
Fourth floors compliments to the
third floor, and will feel obliged if he
will favor her with little peace and
quietness, long enough to write letter"
How hated that woman!
So we lived for month, exchanging
constant missiles of warfare. I could
cheerfully have given up that miserable
French fiat, and gone back to boarding,
only unluckily had engaged it for the
year. The fourth floor eIocutionized, |
and had friends to select private read
ings, whose voices were deeper than
Hamlet's, and more sonorous than that of
Charlotte Cushman. She was charita-
BILE, and had classes of heavy-booted
girls there twice week, to sing hymns
and learn to sew. A single lady, indeedl
IF she had been quadrupIe lady she
could not have made more noise, nor en-
joyed the making of it more.
At the end of the month, however, an
accident happened which turned the |
current of my whole life.
Iwent on picnic. don't often go
to affairs of that kind; but this was
an especially select affair, gotten up by
my friend Harold Webster.
went, and there met Barbara Will
lis, and fell straightway in love with her.
She wasn't exactly young, but neither
am land to my taste full blown rose
is sweeter than a bud, wherever you MAJ
find it growing. She was dark-eyed,
with full cherry lips, satin-brown hair,
and complexion as fresh as roses and