The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-12-09
BAGSHOT'S ASSISTANT.
The Troubles of a Journalist

Col. Bagshot runs weekly news
paper called the Union, up in Cho
dunk. The Colonel was called away
: to New York on business, leaving
the Union in the hands of an assis
tant, who had been in his employ
some little time.
Now the Colonel knew that the
said assistant had the cheek of a
brass statue and the audacity Of q
| New England fly, both indispensa-
bic attributes TO the newspaper
man; but still, after being in the
city about a week, he began to
grow uneasy, and telegraphed to
Chodunk, "How's thingsrp
Back came the answer from the
Unions whilom editor: "Bully
Circulation of The old things gone
up q thousand. Been getting up
red-hot paper, and there's gang
outside that are weeping because
they can't hoist the shingles off the |
roof and knock the whole concern |
to thunder. Stay away as long as
you like"
Bagshot didn't waste a moment
after receiving this encouraging |
dispatch. He started home in the |
first train, and reached Chodunk |
before night. The first man that |
struck him was the ticket agent
"Look here, Colonelr' he cried,
excitedly; "Pve a darned good no.
ton to punch your head, you bra
zen-faced old harp
"Why?" asked Bagshot.
Read tLat'' and the ticket agent
showed a crumpled Union into HE
hand.
There was a paragraph as fol-
lows:
RAILROAD NEws.-The handy
legged idiot who robs the railroad
company at this village has pur-
chased a new pocket-knife. More
knocking down from the cash
drawer.
Bagshot bit his lips.
"Bill," said he, ''that's a calumny,
md I'll see it righted in our next.
It's my cussed assistants work"
al don't care whose work it 49,"
yrowled the agent" "but if it amt
,ontradicted, somebody's got to die;
hats ALL"
Bagshot didn't reply, but sailed
iown the street to the Union office.
he had not gone half block before l
lie collided with Deacon Marsh. J
The Deacon seized him by the
shoulder and exclaimed. "What do {
you mean, ,Bagshot,by inserting that
'candalously untrue item about {
neT'
didn't insert any item," replied I
,he Colonel.
"Don't sneak out of it that way.
You know you did. Why, l just (
,ut it out of the Union. Listen:
RELIGIOUS INTELLIGENCE.-T That
Thited sepulcher, Deacon Marsh, (
vas noticed, last Saturday night,
,ryIng to open the coal-hole in
'front.' of his residence with his night
Key. The deacon was full as goat,
and couldn't tell moonshlne from
yreon choose.
"Now that's nice, amt it, saying
hat l was drunk Saturday night,
when l went to bed at Z with rag
ng toothacheP
ats that reckless fool whom l
eft in charge" groaned the Colo
lel. "I'll make it all right, Marsh"
and Bagshot scurred on again, only
20 be confronted by Maj. Blim.
"Colonel," uttered Blim, in his
deepest voice, "this is villainous
It's my intention, sir, to cali you
,ut and shoot you through the
leart. What the deuce do you
mean by publishing this note il
he Union?
MILITARY JoTTINGs.-Maj. Blim,
,he tattered old beggar who hid in
IN oyster barrel during the battle Of
Bull Run, wears a wig. He ought
% be shot in the back with baked
lpple.
81 can't help it, Blim," said Bag
shot, wiping his forehead; "it's all
owing to that young devil in the Of
ice. He has made red hot paper
J lust wait. Najor, and I'll fix
things"
Hardly had he done so before
young Cooley appeared.
''Col. Bagshot you are a lying
This is a nice thing
to put in your blackguard sheet
about a young lady.
"SocIETY ITEMS Miss Cooley,
the old hag, on South street,
waltzes around in patent hustle
in the hope of catching fellow.
But she can't; not even if she lays
the paint on twice as thick as she
does now"
But Bagshot didn't stop to hear
it. He flew across the square and
into the Union Office like a flash.
TOOmbs and Reconstruction.