Litchfield enquirer. [volume] (Litchfield, Conn.) 1829-current, 1880-12-16
CLIPPINGS.


This should be checked.
Natur luvs phun; if she doesn't she never
would have made mOnky.
The crown of England is valued at s134, 900,
and yet they have to pay somebody to wear it.
Some women are like shot-guns They
would attract no attention If 1t were not for
their bangs
A great many men are cottage built; they
have but one story. And they are forever
telling it.
An old fellow now under the control of his
fourth wife always alludes to his three depart
ed ones as ;spareribs. " 81
Jnslnow thu papers asslgrsatly agitated.as
to what shall be done with the ex-presidents.
How would it do to pickle them?
There are some thirty five thousand more fe-
males than males in Philadelphia, and yet
some people wonder why some girls marry
bow-legged men.
II have been present at many religious
awakenings," SAID the fly, as he passed from
one bald spot to another in neighboring
pew.
We oppose Senator Logan's proposed ap-
pointment as Minister to England on account
of his ignorance of the language spoken in
that country.
A chiropodist having invented a new rene
dy was furnished with the following motto for
his labels; Lay not this fsttering ointment
ssOgoqssolfs" TS<AEsf
> Atthe height of q hot discussion between
two Jews one cried Goodness! don't eat
mel" Indeed" said the other, .'my religion
forbids -
There is young lady in Camden town so
refined in her language that she never uses
can sentinel"
Fidgety Lady-''But what am to do? I
can't ride with my back to the engine" Inso-
lent Youth-"Better speak to the conductor.
Hell turn the tram round.
Eugene, Eugene, will you still insist ON
wearing the hair OF another woman upon your
head ?" ''Alphonse Alphense, do you still in
sist upon wearing the skin of another calf up
'eenlyvur fTTYl 7 TrgfTs
] Two ftesAsneni IL the library iiscuusssng Eng
Hsh Lifts Isl r.: DO YOU like Dickens's
aories2"a Cd IF :.esOh, yes; those Eve read
Especially sPickwick' and Oliver Optic ~ LIST
r.; Eyes; Oliver Optic is . good book"
''What luck did you nave fishing Yesterday,
Breckenridge" asked gentleman of WE'LL
known iDpecunious character who owes
everybody. splendid! While was out on
the wharf twenty men with bills called at my
house to collect money"
tDid you break that window, toy |" said
the grocer, catching hold of the fleeing urchin.
Eyes, sir" "What dye mean. then, by run
ming off in this manner?" please, sir,
was running home to get the money. was
sfraidif4 didn't run quick might forget"
y Two little birds started out to sing,
When foggy was the weather;
They cleared 1ir threats aAd whetted thiet bills
Andcoughed and wheezed together.
Thy wheezed and coughed as hard as they could,
In this dreadful foggy weather,
Till they spoiled their notes and split their throats
And turned up their toes together.
Two girls in an Illinois boarding school had
a contest to see who would dress quickest on
a wager. Three other girls acted as Judges,
and the air seemed full of lingeries, pictorial
stockings and lots of things that no fellow
even nnows the names of for seven minutes
and thirteen seconds when the winner smil.
ingly emerged. faultlessly dressed, even to
bonnet and gloves,
A receipt for making soup-Take pail of
water aud wash it clean, then boil it till it is
<beown mnn bosllasidcs; peu- lns~ope~ bean:
when he bean hegip to Yprrf piepare 70
ssimmer. 1 Ifa1oup wolff simmer it's 10 rich.
pour sssses wv wsa q, s.sss y yin
ter the sooner, it browns. Serve hot
A New York doctor has discovered that
nervousness is an imaginary disease. This
will be chreeing news to yonpg men who
have frequently thought themselves to be ner-
the other end of the sofa stuck his head inside
the door and remarked that it was time for
everybody but burglars to be in bed The
knowledge that the unpleasant feeling is pure
ly imaginary will be great consolation, and
nerve them for even more prolonged vigils,