Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1880-03-25
VARIETIES.

pObL Uhce9
Society is the hardest baked on it,
upper-crust,
Hens Willsoo be laying out theiI
work for spring.
Time out Of mind-Forgetting tc
wind up your watch.
Never strike o balance, unless it is
quite small-PicGgag11e.
The spring whitewash business is
brushing up a little.-Neo0 Orleans Pic.
agsg1ae
jug not, that ye be not jugged, as
the judge remarked to the bibulous
vagrant.
On New York sign: " Instruc-
tons given here on according and
.guitarres."
"A precociOus youth says that school
teachers are like dogs, because they
lick your hand"
American girls are not mercenary.
All are anxious to give themselves
away.-PbiIGdelphiG Bulletin.
When woman cries for anything
she wants she is sgetting at the sighence
of the thing.-Steabea1CtLLe Herald.
If every person would be half as
good as he expects his neighbor to be,
what heaven this world would bel
When does budding young dam
sci burst into fruitP When she be-
comes the apple of somebody's eye.
That is an Indian nearing feet that
I don't like, as the man said who was
pursued by the redskins. Boston Tran
Script. a. .f..l# al t-1''..
IA mans word is the handspring
Of his character. Once break the main
spring, and, like watch, the man
runs down. -..... .......
In use Of sounding words men are quite
They talk of mystery, and mean but hash.
,.......5 ....,.,,.. .iI,. .....-..f Puck.
According to the spelling reform,
ocean should be spelled "oshun," " but
it woh't help sea-sickness a cents
worth.-Free Press. s.'....
DO not despise the opinion of the
world; you might as well say that you
care not for the light of the sun because
you can use candle.
When you can hardly say enough
for man, say he is one of thousand.
1t will be true as long as there are 999
other men in the world.
-Bus-tling-Old gentleman, (watch-
ing crowd around omnibus: "What a
,bpstlep' Stout old lady: "'Old your
tongue, impertinencew-FINn.
LA bull sigh? A ships aiel
Whoever saw Whover heard
A horse fly? a fence rail?
More than one rough customer has
never known how good he was until he
killed somebody, and heard the lawyer
in charge of crimes and juries sum up
his virtues.
Some people can never be to poor
to marry. A young couple commenced
to keep house recently whose only
crockery consisted of an ink bottle and
an imperfect chart of China.
The man who can "under no cir
cumstances be a candidate for Office
simply tells the public that he has
looked the ground over and found no
chances to be one.-Free Press.
Suggestion by the Danbury Nea0S:
When you have got through using
your puzzles, give them to the poor.
We might get rid of the poor some
way"
The Boston Post seems to think
that no Vermont man ever trades
horses unless he cheats the other man.
Course not. What's the object in
tradingP- Free Press. 1
There IL lots of pholks in this world
whose only Importance konsists in their |
being exklusiVe-it is just so with a
hole in the ground, when the bug Gums
out ov it the mistery is solved.-J0ah
Billings. ,.L 1
"A Connecticut widow, worth $4,-
100000, is, ready to marry, provided /
she can ''fnd a man who knows
enough" Almost any man knows
enough-to marry such woman.-NOT-
rtStO90a Herald .r7 I rai |
"A lady in Louisiana demonstrates |
to her satisfaction that spring chickens
can not be Matched from alligator
eggs The venerable hen was as much
at the extraordinary result
of her labors as the lady was 05nct'a-
natl ConnbsreiGl, rs.
old SchoolfelloW: +" Yes, it's me,
sir. Getting on pretty niddling, thank
you Undertaking line, sir. HoperI
you'll give me b turn some day, sir, If
you'd stick my card up over your man
sir, so your friends might
rave it handy if anything happened,
sir; thank you. .r7a4 n1f ls ai} ot
The latest and most refined style Of
novel writing is to avoid mention of the
icenes of bloodshed and violence;
: Like a flash of Lightning from cloud, !
With the velocity Of a rifle bullet and
he resistless sweep of the avalanche,
he iiisulted youth skipped around the
,orner and hunted up policeman. !" ID
"A lecturer on optics, in explaining
he mechanism of the organ of vision,
embarked: "Let any man gaze closely
nto his wife's eye, and he will see him
elf looking SO exceedingly small /
hat" Here the lecturer saw q
mile on the faces of his audience, and /
.bruptly stopped,
"A gentleman walked into a, grocery I
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