The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1880-12-24
A GOOSE STORY.


How a Yankee "Feathered his Nest" in
Apropos of the goose hunting
mania we clip the following which is
about as good goose story as we have
ever heard:
About three years ago shrewd Yam
kee took up his residence in southern
Texas with the intention of devoting
himself to agricultural pursuits After
fighting the ticks, centipedes, snakes
and other common pets during the long
summer, he was much distressed when
winter set in by the flocks of innumera-
bic wild geese which alighted on his
farm and threatened to devour his crop.
He spent mapy days in vain endeavors
to frighten the geese away. Finally
bright idea struck the Yankee, and
struck him hard. Near one of the
| fields most frequented by the geese he
erected large covered pen. He next
! scattered over the field large quantities
of corn which had been previously
soaked in alcohol He and his COLDS of
| assistants then retired to await develop.
meuts. In a short time the field was
fairly covered with wild geese, all eager
ly devOuring the feast prepared for
them by the Yankee. The corn was
evidently very palatable to the birds, as
| they went for it with vim that would
have been creditable to champion lunch
grabbers. AS may be imagined the field
soon presented an exceedingly hilarious
appearance. These geese tumbled over
each other and engaged in lively bouts
in their endeavors to secure the coveted
morscls. The Yankee, unable to control
his delight, stuffed a red bandanna in
his mouth and rolled over and over on
In o. Ia naYI,-
| from suppressed laughter. He said,
the way them geese enjoyed getting
| drunk would have made wooden man
| laugh" Pretty soon all the geese were
so intoxicated they could not fly, and
then the Yankee and his assistants ap-
| peared on the scene. For two hours
they just walked over the field and pick
ed up drunken geese and placed them
! in the pen. The pen was filed to its
| full capacity, and then the most extern
sive goose picking" ON record took
place. The assistants wanted to kill
] the geese, but the Yankee objected.
Each goose, after being deprived of all
clothing except tail and wing feathers,
was tossed out of the pen. ItadIdn't
| take goose long TO sober up after be-
ing thrown out in the weather without
| his clothes, and as soon as he realized
| his denued condition, he seemed to be
ashamed of himself, and with a success
| sion of terrific squawks started off, with
out waiting for his baggage, for warm
| er climate When the picking was con-
cluded the Yankee baled his feathers
with his cotton press and sold them to
an itinerant Jew peddler for $4,S00 He
continued his experiment during the
entire goose season, and the spring found
| him one of the wealthiest men in Texas.
| The Yankee knew what he was doing
/ when he refused to allow his assistants
to decapitate the geese for the very next
winter, they all came back again with
new suits of clothes, which they traded
to the Yankee for square meal of his
alcohol soaked corn.
The Yankee has, of course, patented
| his invention, an with the close of the
present picking season he expects to buy
/ out Jay Gould and furnish old De Les
seps with funds sufficient to build the
! isthmus canal.
The writer has been in possession of
the facts detailed above for some time,
but his mate modesty, added to dislike
of appearing ia print, have heretofore
prevented him from making them pub
lie. He Is now able to overcome those
unusual scruples only by reason of his
desire TO contribute to the world of sci
ence. 1t is probably known to but few
that for the past two years college pro-
fessors and scientists generally of the
United States have been in receipt of
numerous communications from schol-
ars throughout Mexico, Central America
and South American states making in
| quiries concerning what is. in those
countries, a new species Of the goose
The birds are invariably described in
those letters as being wild and unap-
proachable and featherless, except the
heads. wings and tails. A few specimens
have been captured, one of which was
! forwarded from the Argentine Republic
to the Smithsonian Institute of Wash
ington city. where it is exhibited as q
| great curiosity.
The writer is of the opinion that the
publication of the above facts serve to
account for the appearance of the sup
posed new species of wild goose.