The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-03-18
Mrs. Smiths Peddlcr's Trap.

Tho uOmicile of the Smiths Is located on
Mission street, just between Woodward's
gardens and tho city front, in Detroit. 1t
may be recognized by tho front yard and
tho very peculiar canvas apparatus which
is attached to the fence. This piece of can
vas stretches from the top Of tho fence to
pair of poles, firmly fastened to the side
walk below, and forms an inclined plane,
reaching nearly to the ground, which bears
a close resemblance to the netting used in
gymnasiums and circuses, as a safe rcccpta-
Gle for falling acrobats. For several years
past Mrs. Smith, in common with her sister
housewives throughout the city, has been
harrassed by the visits of peddlers, sowing
machine agents, medical canvassers, vegc-
table vendcrs, travelling tinsmlths, insurance
solicitors, and host of other gentry
who annoy and render miserable the female
population of the city. Mrs. Smith, less
fortunate than many housewives, Is without
a servant, and has hitherto been compelled
to mako all the way from three hundred to
four hundred trips day to the front door.
In fact, the bell rang, tinkled, buzZcd and
ratified almost continually, and 80 great was
tho strain upon the tintinnabulating appara-
tus that new wire had to be put in two
or three times month, and even the knob
wore out quarterly. This state of affairs
was not only expensive and troublesome,
but was gradually reducing Mrs. Smith to
a skeleton, and she waxed weaker and moro
attcluatcd. Shc calculated, and calculated
very correctly, that she travelled from six to
eight miles q day in her tramps to tho door.
At last Mrs. Smith. inspired by desperation,
effective. A skilful machinist was imme-
IL of nj nd II
beneath the front doorstep compact ana
on the inside Of tho threshold, which, when
pressed by the light foot of Mrs Smith,
would suddenly bring into play the great
forces of the hidden machinery and press
the doorstep upward with such terrible
velocity that its unfortunate occupant would
br huGlcd into space The flying pcddlcr
was supposed, after being prccipltated from
the doorstep, to describe a graceful parabo-
Ia, which would have it's termination in tho
depths of the canvas The receptacle, be-
ing an inclined plane, was expected to
gently drop the involuntary acrobat to the
sidewalk below. At last tho ingenious ap.
paratus was completed and the mechanic
assured the inventrcss that her idea would
make the young peddler shoot, thus uncon-
sciously :nverting an old expression. lie
also expressed his confidence. that the afore-
said canvas would invariably be the place Of
descent. Mrs. Smith placed chair near
the door, and serenely awaited tho Jingle
which would indicate the approach Of her
first victim. She had not long to wait. Be-
fore ten minutes had expired, the bell gave
q prcmonitory tlnkle. Opening the door,
Mrs. Smith smiled on the outsider with
more complaisance than she had manifested
for years before. She did not forget, how
ever, to place her left foot In close proximi-
ty to the little spring before mentioned.
sMadam," ingenuously asked the uncon-
scious intruder, "may soil you sewing
| ---A--0 ft.. III. @' t,.
Hc was, however, called away 80 sudden
ly that ho had no time to complete his
question, for Mrs. Smith had pressed tho
spring the step had flashed upward, and 10 |!
the poor sewing machine man had disap-
pcared. Alasl for human ingenuity, how
ever, he rcappearcd at the wrong place,
and, instead Of falling into the canvas SO
Kindly prepared for his convenience, struck
against the fence with great violence, just
after completing his third ysolnersault. The
neighbors thought that an unfortunate
aeronaut had been pitched from hfs balloon,
and flocked to the spot In scores. Tile poot
fellow had a leg fractured, and the doctor
across the street 'add led another to his list
Of patients. The machinewas irmedlAtely
perfected, and the next morning ope:ated