Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1880-02-08
WAITS AND STRAY.

How is it that two story women al
ways wear four-story bonnets.
Charles Lamb said OF clumsy girl
who was always running against
things and breaking them: MARY, /
believe that girl would break the Bank
OF England If she should run
against it," ..s.
The Burlington HaWkeye, always a
close observer, says: aid you ever
notice, brethren, the bigger the woman
the smaller the hat? Its only your
delicate little fairy, whose lightly fall
ing tread scarce bends the daisy that
1t falls upon that wears hat as broad
as a coal barge"
"Annetts" wants TO know IL there
Is "hesliug cure, a tender balm for
love stricken htart?" Get sea sick,
Annetta; go to sea for week; and If
the blue Atlantic serves you as 1t
served us, you will spread 1t on record
that it is just little the balm balm-
eldest balm you ever plastered on your
loveNstIicken heart since YOU were old
enough to write poetry.-Eachdnge.
Chambers Journal: Sheridan once
declined TO take walk with troubles
some feminine admtrer, on the plea
that the weather would not permit,
and being caught by the lady as he
was sneaking out for stroll, coun.
tered her remark that the weather
seemed now TO have cleared up. with
the bold asseveratiOn, "Yes, madame,
enough for one, bat not enough for
two.n
An Oil City Iishman having signed
the pledge, was charged soon after
ward with having drank. "'Twas me
absent mindedness," said Pat, " an
habit | have Of talkin' wild myself /
sed to meself, SEE 1, Pat, COON In am
have drink No, zer,' sez I, I've
sworn off, 'rhin I'll drink alone,'
SEE to myself. AN I'll wait for We
outside seq l. An whin meself cum
out, faith an he was drunk"
When Marshal Narvaez. 1t Is related,
was on his deathbed, his confessor
asked him II he freely forgave all his
enemies, I have no enemies, !" replied
the dying Marshal proudly. Every
course OF his life" sugges ed the priest
mildly. "Oh. Of course," replied the
Marshal, II have had a great number
of enemies 10 my time, but I have
none now. Lave had them all
shot ~
Yes; the Pope,S new organ is called
aurora but IL Ia not morning paper
The Pope, by the way, doesn't find
the editors chair bed Of roses, as 1t
were. When a gentleman from the
north OF Limerick called at the office
the ether morning with copy OF the
Aurora In one hand and savage club
in the other, and demanded the name
OF the person (" who writ that 'ere,"
the Pope said he couldn't tell lie-it
was 1.-The work of the intelligent CONS
pOsitor. NorristoOn Herald. ="
When a man Is about starting for
home after church soeiable and finds
his umbrella gone-an umbrella that
has been 10 the family unlll It has be-
come an heirloom, sir-his first i'm
pulse is to tear around and use lam
guage, crush his hat over his throb-
bling brows and rush out into the
night and rain. His next impulse Is
to soothe his tempest-tossed bosom by
selecting the very newest and best
parachute he can lay his hands on,
and 60 on with forgiveness In his
heart and the unit eila over his head,
like Christia~." -Doston Transcript
Scene-Dinner party at rich bour-
ReOis's house. Prosperous advocate
recounting his career. "When took
my first brief" he says, 81 was excited
and nervous, especially as my client
was q consummate scoundrel--a bad
egg any way you took him. But then
| was beginning my practice. He was
a man OF good family, the reputation
OF which would have been fatally tar.
nisbed had he been onvicted. 40 took
the case and got the rascal off " After
dinner enter an important parsonage,
great friend of the host, who presents
the lawyer 10 him. Great parsonage
Extraordinarily DO not need to be
introduced TO this Rentleman--I met
him long ago. In fact ! may say ]
gave him his first start in life. | was
his first clientI'--French paper.