The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-03-31
MARCH 81
VARIETIES

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soaring up to heaven and bearing
our prayers to the throne of God
Jeremy Taylor.
Quicker than pounds of gun-pow-
der will rive an ordinary rock you
can blast great reputation with an
ounce of scandal.
Eight bushels of good lime, fifteen
bushels sand, and one bushel hair
makes enough good mortar TO plas-
tel one hundred square yards.
"What miserable little eggs! Take
'em out, Jane, and let the hen set on
'em little longer.
What is sweeter than your own
home asked an exchange. If you're
an unmarried man, pretty girls
home is about the best thing we
know OF.
1t requires four days each month
to pay off the employees OF the Cen
trail Hudson River Railroad, and the
! payroll amounts to 100000.
i An old man in Virginia jumped
into the well to spite his wife for
running him into debt. She let him
stand In three feet of ice cold water
until he agreed to deed her the whole
farm.
The pianoiorte was invented by
German named Americas Backers,
and was first used i'll public Covent
Garden Theatre, in the year 1857.
Seth Spicer calls his night-shirt
"loose change" An editor with
night-shirt! Whew Pride, where is
thy sting? o Wealth, where is thy
victory?
Traveler-"Hi, guard Have you
seen man waiting about with one
eye, OF the name OF Walker 2"
Guard (musingly)-"N-no sir; l dun
no as 1 'av. What was the name OF
the other eye, sir ?"
Carbonate OF soda wet and applied
externally to the bites of a spider or
any venomous creature, will neutral
ize the poisonous effects almost in.
stantly. 1t acts like charm in the
case OF a snake bite
"My boy" said father to his
young son, "treat every one with
politeness even those who are rude
to you. For remember that you
show courtesy to others, not because
they are gentlemen, but because you
are one"
A young lady who came in last
week to advertise for kitchen help
said with sigh and a wiring Of her
dainty gloved hands, "Oh l DO hope
we'll get one soon. For it does al
most break my heart to see mother
wash dishes, with her rheumatism,
too"
Colds in the head are plenty.
Every one (nearly) is blessed in this
manner. But an easy cure, il done
early, is to dissolve tablespoonful
of pulverized borax in pint of hot
water; when tepid, snuff some up
the nostrls two or three times a
day; or use the dry powdered borax
like snuff, taking pinch as often as
required.
Smoke in any room you please,
said she. This was three months be-
fore marriage. "You've been smok-
ing that dirty, disgusting old pipe in
here again, and 1 declare if the room
doesn't smell loud enough to knock
person DOWN. said she, holding her
nose. This was six months after
marriage.
A young New Yorker was Intro.
duced to Boston girl, and, before
they were acquainted thirty minutes,
she got so spooney that she had called
him an asterolepis, a Silurian pla-
cold, and cartilaginous vertebrate.
He returned to New York by the
midnight train.
A 3.year-old little girl was taught
to close her evening prayer, during
the temporary absence of her father.
with. And please watch over nv
papa. 1t sounded very sweet, but
the mothers amazement NAV be
imagined when the child said, "And
you'd better keep an eye on mamma,
too"
A certain Scotch gillie, it is said,
is not often i'll, but once he had the
toothache. "And what did you do
for it" said one to him. "Weel, I
just bought saxpenn'orth % lauda-
mum, and mixed it wi a pint o.
whisky, and drank it, but it was ma
good" Here there was pause, af.
ter which the speaker resumed. $50