The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-01-15
SENSE SsDi soss.f Isl

+ SENSE ,sJIroys, 81
CRATE styled An.open ase-plsoA j
z ose little mouse iithe plural IL MOE,
The plural Of house should he certainly h1cA
An African proverb says the idle are
dead, but cannot be buried.
ONE advertisement in the newspaper
Is worth two on the side of an old shed.
/. -Norristosc,s Hcytld. ~ r
L.. -EARxER,s~ daught0rs. ara charming.
and when they become old maids they
axesnstdt1ess.--1p,oa -4egtstes,x Ng
fHE hight Of experience has shown ave- .
IT'S no more fatal, alas!
FSr man a.. to @ c s',S blow In the gun
A. HORSESHOE, is considered sign Of
good luck when you own about nine
hundred pounds Of good ;horseflesh on
which to nail it Otherwise it works is
eY.ss ao ( Il H. .is9 4 % Bat,a,4, Il keen
straight orr t.-TTWsll if you're goin'
to keep straight on, it's about twenty.
five thousand miles, but if you turn
round t'other way it's about half a
mile!'SN ,,.yv,E Nr}. - .r-,,t so
Do NOT wait for luck to bear you on
to fortune. II nothing trlrnsup, roll up
your sleeves and turn something up.
Fortune and fame await the man who
will pursue them with sufficient deter.
mination. -Des Moi,ses Register.
NINE out of every ten women in
America buy their hair instead of rails
ing it. Such o. state of affairs should
not exist in q country that annually
spends thousands of, dollars for the sup
port of an Agricultural Bureau.
The exploits of umbrella thieves in
Philadelphia during the Grant week
were exceedingly audacious. A man
standing in the main hall Of tho Cont
mental swinging m umbrella between
his legs was relieved of all the public
property he had. Before he could turn
about the thief had vanished in the
crowd. ..4 ,,.....-:f
A PET dog fell into the hands of the
professors at the Detroit Medical Col
lege, who used him for. vivisection. A
part of the skull had been removed and
some of his brains taken, out when his
master found him. The brute was put
Under curative treatment. and is recov-
ering, but will never know as much a.
he did before the operation. ,r..f
"DO YOU raise pears in Louisiana,
Mr.. Sheridan?" said President Hayes
to our genial Recorder of Deeds last
week at the White House, while dele
cation of h0rticulturists were present.
1--WE do whenever we hold three of
kind II replied The! gentle. George, at
which various Of the fruit-growers
smiled audibly. IN q. Times
PROBABLY younever heard of a ginger
bread barometer. A, French editor has
one-a General in gingerbread. He
buys one at fair once year and nails
it to the wall at home. Damp weather
softens and dry. weather hardens GIN
gerbread, and the editor can tell by
touching the figure with his finger what
kind Of a day it is going to be.
JUsr Us he finished his little serenade,
the moon came out from behind cloud,
and she, the mother Of the moon of his
heart, leaped to the window and upon
him emptied about two gallons of cis-
tern-water. /, Z After, me the deluge,"
he simply and prettily said; and, as he
walked briskly away, the FLASHING aque-
Gus in his light guitar made it sound as
though he were carrying home jug.
On! that Monday could be postponed
to the middle of the week. Everything
goa wrong side psMQnday morning.
FGpple get. out Of ;t6eir bed In huff,
ct breakfast sbecause they are obliged
I'D n s,, - %ko
sulks. The fact is. Sunday just gives
rest enough to make man feel the
need of more, and Monday finds him
mad because he can't get Chicago
Times.
.4e "A HARTFORD mans excuse for
stealing pair OF chickens was that
while at work he hung his coat near
the coop, and on going for it he found
the chickent roasted IN the same. He
hadn't the heart to wake them up, he
said, 90 he wound his coat around
them without waking them, and car
ried them off. His defense was in
genious, but he was sent up for three
months all the same. .f',.s
SOME Harvard students offered the
printer $500 for an advance copy of the
questions to be submitted to them at an
examination. The printer had COM
pleted the job and parted with the
sheets; but he obtained an old set of
questions, put them III type and struck
off proof, which he sold to the stu
dents for the $500. They did not dis
cover the double quality of the fraud
until examination day. = 80
As A sedate old man entered rail-
road car with his wife at Truro, CAL, .
flask of whisky fell from his pocket. A
passenger picked it up and offered to
return It. 20, it isn't my husbands"
the woman said, ''he never drinks or
carries liquor. "No, it's not mine"
the man added, uneaSly. ssAtst the next
station the couple left the train; but be-
fore it started che passengers were
amused to see the old man come back
. to claim the flask. - -
A WITNESS in case at Nashville was
asked whether he had much experience
in and knew the cost of feeding cat
tie, and to give his estimate of the cost
of feeding cow, to which he replied:
"My father before me kept dairy. I
have had a greal deal of experience In
buying, and selling. and keeping cat
tie, as man and boy, in the dairy busi-
ness for fiftyyears, I think emy long
experience has qualified me to know as
well as any man can, the cosrof keep
ing and feeding CATTLE" '"Well,"
broke in. the attorney impatiently,
'stell me the cost IF Keeping q cow"
swell, sir, my experience, after fifty
wears in. the business, Isl that it costs
well it depends entirely on how much
you feed the COW" ''''' ''''''
p. ili't---a>--- s.l- i.rt
Some Facts - to Hsw Far the Ringing
Of Bells May Be Heard.
In billy locality bell will not be
heard half so far as If the land were
level, or nearly so.j A bell will be
heard a great deal further lengthways
of valley than over the hills at the
sides. 1t is frequently the case that
bell. rooms are lower than the sur
rounding buildings and trees, and these
distractions break tie sOUI46 and b T.