davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29
He Wouldn't Bs Seat.

Yesterday, when man from the
region of Bucksnort sat on The edge of
the sidewalk, splitting blood, a police
man approached him and asked "Got
a hemorrhage have YOU p "No," said
the Bucksnort man, looking up until the
blood ran from the co,ners of his
mouth. ''Somebody hit you in the
mouth p "No." "Cow hook you ~
mo, sir, it is business transaction
"But here, | am an officer of this city
and it is my business to investigate such
bloody transaction" 81 don't belong
to this town. My nam is ALI Hobbs,
and live down nigh Bucksnort I'll
tell you all about this transaction.
Some time ago l came up to this town
with a lot of meal, and a COW. and a
calf, and mule Well, after looking
around while, l sold the COW, and calf
and mule to dentist. He told me to
come back in day or two and he'd pay
me. | came back, and he still didn't
pay me, but suggested to me that l
could take it out in trade. | didn't
want any trade, as there warn'L bad
tooth in my head, but, thinks | to my
self, III try you. So l sits right down
and said, Pull 'em out Pull what
out ? says he. My teeth, says l the
last one of them SO | sot there and
he lifted the last one | hated to lose
EN-, but had to have my pay. But l
amt done yit. When | go home I'm
going to send up the old woman and
the children, and have the last tooth
drawed out of 'em. Then, if that don't
square the bill, / am going to send up
my brother-in-law and have his teeth
pulled out. won't be beat by any man
that belongs to the Little Rock Ring.
I'm a Bucksnort man, and | eat hog
sassace. Little Rock Gazette.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29
w ell Taught.

When a mother has large family of
girls, she should allow them to do the
Homework by turn, so that each can gain
a comprehensive knowledge of all kinds
of domestic duties, cookery first of all.
Let them have in succession, month
at a time, charge of the cooking, cham
Der work, the mending,and under proper
supervision, the buying for the family.
There will be no mistake about their
knowledge then. They will have learned
everything from experience, and, as we
all know, experience is competent
teacher. Let us suffer for a mistake
and we do not repeat it. The judgment
and discrimination will he well devel-
oped by such training, so that no work
will seem hard or distasteful. 1t is easy
to do anything that we are sure of do
ing we'll. Mothers may argue that it
is easier to do the work themselves than
to teach their young daughters how to
do it. But if they reflect for moment
they will see that it is selfish and cruel to
allow children to grow up in Ignorance
of the grave duties which the future as
suredly holds for them. Nothing is SO
fatal to domestic happiness as incompe.
tence on the pant of the wife. Badly
cooked food does not make man ami
able, and his wife generally suffers from
his fits of Indigestion. Men take it for
granted that their wives know how to
manage a household, and they can make
no excuse for failures, particularly if it
affects their pockets very seriously. The
young wife accustomed all her life to be
considered and petted, thinks her hus-
band positively brutal when he finds
fault, and her tears and reproaches only
make matters worse, and the shadow
over the household grows very dark IN
deed. Ali the first year or two of mar
ried life, before experience has put things
straight, may be very dark for both hus-
band and wife if the girlhood of the lat
ter has not been spent under iudicious
mother, who has had an eye to the fu-
ture OF her daughters, and acted accord
ingly.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29
Modern CaEWorshipers.

The Nloques, says he Arizona Miner,
are tribe of Indians ivng in Northern
Arizona, near the line If New Mexico.
The only thing worshipel by these red
men is the image Of cas- gorgeously
dressed and decorated witt ornaments
OF gold and silver Their great dance is
the matachin, upon which occson they
dress themselves in the most ,idiculous
manner, their costumes generally being
made up from the hides OF foxes, bears,
coyotes, deer, antelope, etc. Aiter hay
ing committed some great wrolg, the
Moques, to pay penance to the great
Father, meet III council, appoint q day
upon which the dance shall begin, and
for twenty four hours they keep step to
humdrum tune without food or water,
when they depart from the dance house
with their sins forgiven, free to 90 forth
to steal a horse or Il COW, as the case
may be-
The image of god OF the Philstines
has been unearthed near GAIA by an
Arab who was ouarrying stone. The
idol is fifteen feet high and represents an
aged man, with hair in long rnglets and
lengthy beard, one arm beng crossed
over the breast, while Il drapery covers
the shoulders. The pedestal bears no
inscription and is carved in one huge
piece with the figure, which was found
in a recumbent position, buried in the
sand on the top of a hill near the sea,
having evidently been removed from its
original site. The Pasha of Jerusalem
has placed q guard over the idol to pre-.
serve it from the GAIA fanatics.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29
Widow and Census Taker.

It was @ dilapidated man that bun
died himself of the evening train Satur-
day, entered the station and took a seat.
He had wholesome liquor breath about
him and steaming up through him, and
his nose was as the wintergreen berry,
red and round and distinctively bright,
us if all the cEcckcrberry he had put i'll
all the rum he had drank all through
his abandoned life and flowed into his
empurpled proboscis and there formed Il
gem, which made him and ornament to
bacchanaIian society.
'Does the widow Marshmeadow live
here now}" he inquired of officer
Mowry.
The officer with his wonted courtesy,
directed him to her residence. 1t was
IL o'clock when he arrived there and
summoned her to the door.
Don't be embarrassed, madame" he
said with wonderful mildness of tone
and manner, "because you don't know
me. History has ever been partial and
omitted from her bronzed and statuesque
pages the names Ct her proudest sons.
This omission imparts uniqueness to u
mans fame | am the census taker. 1
have taken every name in town but
yours. The hour is late, and exhausted
nature requires, in fact imperatively in
sists upon, refreshment and the restora
ton of sleep. ] cannot proceed further
Il 4, 4,1. |
have both"
"You may come in and stay over
Sunday" she said, "and in the morning
| will have killed pair ofyellow legged
chickens"
1t was twelve o'clock, and the census
taker still sat at the widow table, and
her third bottle Of old current wine be-
fore him.
81 shall put your NAME" he said,
with Incompatible tenderness of tone
and address, somewhere about the mid
die of the book, and under the head Of
Remarks shall add the following: Coy
residence tastefully ornamented latch
string always out beautiful fruit trees
and ounce bushes here al ound In UNI
brageous abundance yellow legged
chickens always to be found on the
premises their legs become stained to a
beautiful yellow by constant wading
through the golden leaves of the naples
that glorify the lawns and approaches of
the beauteous homestead"
The widow smiled delightedly, and
concluded to put the pleasant census
taker in her best bed chamber, where all
night long his nose shone in his facial
armament like lone star of Bacchus.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29
A FoC of Green PANT.

The wife of man next door, says the
Danbury News, has fertile brain,
which is kept actively employed in a
variety of directions. Among her house
hold gods are Il dozen Of plants in pots,
and variety of these in Il box mounted
on a pedestal. The box she got at the
store the pedestal she and the boy
together made. After it was done she
wanted it painted.
She might have sent it to the painter
for that purpose, but he would charge
more than it was worth. TO save the
extra cost she determined to do the work
herself. She could get a pound of paint
all mixed in pot, with a brush for
twenty cents-the pot and brush to be
returned after the work was done. 1t
was simple thing to paint, and she
could put it on as easily and nicely as q
trained hand could do it. The man next
door didn't think much about it. 1t
was not in his line, but he got the paint.
1t was great surprise to the wife OF
the man next door to see how little Of
the paint was required to color the box
and the pedestal, and how much was
left after the work was done. What
should she Go with it, Not return it,
of course, for she would not be allowed
anything for it. Now that she had it
she might as we'll use it. There was
undoubtedly something it could be
used on.
She looked around for the object in
question, and was not long in finding it.
There are more or less dingy, battered
articles about q house which coat OF
paint would improve. Her house vas
no exception. Her eyes lighted on Il
box holding her securing sand. In a
few moments it was delightful green.
Then she looked around for other
fields to conquer, and presently she found
them, and continued to find them as
long as the presence of paint made it
necessary to search for them. She was
nearly the whole afternoon using up
that pot of paint, but it was time well
employed.
And it was amazing, as she admitted
to herself, how far twenty cents worth
of paint would so, judiciously applied.
She knew her husband would be sur
prised when he came home at night at
all she had done.
And he was.
When he observed the green clock
case, and looked at the green paper-rack,
and found that he had "a green writing
desk, and contemplated the green foot
stool, and saw the green coal-scuttle, and
got against the green clothes-horse, he
was too full to say word.
Then he picked up his green bootjack,
and when be did that he gave wild,
scared look about the room, sank down
in chair, and found his voice.
He said
"Holy hooks ~
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29

One rough looking man asked her If
she had anything to eat, to which she
replied by showing him some lite sweet
cakes and said
DO you think these will be enough
Until | get to my aunt's 2
Give me your reticule," he replied,
and, opening it. commenced filing it out
of his well stored basket. Others
brought in their supplies, until there was
more than the child could carry. An
Old gentleman, about eighty years Of age
said he would take her as far as Kansas
City: black man said he had nothing to
give her to eat, 50 he gave her a half
dollar. = s = Shebecame more and
more theme of interest for hundreds
of miles, until we seemed to have for
gotten the space, when the cry East st.
Louis :" startled US, and revealed the
fact that to some of us at least the jour
ney had ended. We parted from this
dear child in tenderness and prayers,
for she was fast asleep, with her little
Testament, which she could read, in her
pale hand All were the better for her
presence; all regretted that she could not
Journey on with them along the way of
life.-Rev. Dr. Nuchmore in the Pres
hvteriar
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29
The Record Of Violent Deaths.

The anlual report OF the coroner
furnishes some suggestive facts The
aggregate of viole It deaths for the past
year was 23l. This total includes &C
cidents, murders and suicides. The
waste Of human life as set down here,
is very great and appears to be increas
ing. With no great increase of popula-
ton, there has been an increase of acct
dents amounting to 30 per cent. Homi-
cides have also increased Is per cent.
Why should there be any increase at ALI
Why should there not have been de-
crease in this annual waste of human
lifel There has been and average of two
murders a month, an more, if the cases
of manslaughter are enumerated. Sui
cides have slightly decreased. Rut there
are ninety-two for the year, or nearly
two week. Taking the aggregate
number of violent deaths, it is certainly
very large for city of three hundred
or four hundred thousand inhabitants.
The inquiry is very pertinent, whether
this waste of human life cannot be
greatly reducedl The suicidal mania is,
to some extent, outside of ordinary ju
dicial cognizance. But is the greatest
measure Of protection afforded to the
community when two murders a month
occur, and when conviction for capt.
tai offence has become q rare circum-
stancel The list of violent deaths ought
to be greatly reduced. The increase Of
murders is fact which certainly has an
important relation to the administration
of justice. The commission of high
crimes increases in just about the same
ratio that convictions for such crimes
become more uncertain.-S. +. Bulletin
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29
Club-rooms-Police headquarters.

"How, then, who is the plaintiff in
this casel' asked his honor, in Justice
Alley, yesterday as a case was called.
No reply. 81 ask who is the plaintiff in
this case p continued the court. II
don't know anything about plaintiff" re-
piled man in the corner as he slowly
rose, "but if you are asking for the chap
Who was chased mile and half and
then mopped all over his own barnyard
by two desperadoes, I'm your man !"
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-01-29

A little dog fights for . little bone.
The Russellville Democrat., 1880-07-22
The Camel and the Miller.

Did you ever hear the fable of the camel and the miller? One night mil
 Ter was walked up by his camel trying to get his nose into the tent. Its very cold out here," said the camel; q only want to put my nose in" The miller made no objection. After while the camel asked leave to have his neck in, then his fore feet; and so, little by little, it crowded in its whole body. This, as you may well think, was very disagree able to the miller, and he bitterly com plained to the forthputting beast "If you don't like it, you may go," an swered the camel. As for me, I've got possession, and shall stay. You can't get rid of me now" Do you know what the camel is like? Guard against the first approaches, the most plausible ex- cuses, even the nose of sin. If you do not, you are in danger. It will surely edge itself slowly in, and you are over powered before you know It.. Be on your guard. watch. qa@ ef. .-. s.....
The Russellville Democrat., 1880-07-22
The Begsar princesses.

There is scarcely day, says a Paris
 letter, that, if you walk in the garden of the Luxembourg, you may not see an elderly and a young lady walking side
 by side, one sad as the other, both in deep mourning, now grown rusty (it had
 been nine months since the death of the imperial prince), both bearing all those thousand and one indications Of poverty which strikes the observer. The elder lady has grown fat. She had great beauty once. She has all wrinkles now, more of them ftirrowed by care than by time (though these are not war ting). She was famous once for her grace; she now waddles carelesslv. Her elegance was town talk, she is dowdy grown. She had palace and $30,000 once; she now lives in miserable garrett, with servants for neighbors, and she is dependent on charity for daily bread. Mother and daughter both are princesses; the daugh- ter is granddaughter of Letitia Bona parte: Napoleon l., King Jerome, King Joseph, King Murat and King Louis were her grand uncles; Empress Jose phine, Empress Maria Louise and Queen Hortense were her great aunts; Napoleon III. was her second cousin--and yet there are days when if you, stranger though you are, were to offer mother and daughter fve-franc piece they would take it; If they did not, they would go to bed breakfastless, dinner less, supperless for that day. A hard fate. Nevertheless, nobody, not even the people who give them aims, pity them. Pity is withheld, not so much because they enjoyed S30,000 annually for eighteen years without giving one thought to the rainy days (wkose clouds were always visible above the horizon), but because they had great share in bringing those rainy days on France. One is the wife, the other is the daugh- ter of the assassin of Victor Noir-Prince Pierre Bonaparte. Wife and daughter live in garret, Rue de Lille. Princess
The Russellville Democrat., 1880-07-22
Cymbeline in a Hindu Playhouse.
 asif ManMillan,s Magazine. ~

At 0-10 the manager of the company the leader of the chorus in Marathl Sutradhar (Coryph@us), two other sing CTS, two musicians playing satar (cith- ara) and tabla tabor, tomton), came before the curtain, and the overture a hymn to the god Narayen that the play might be uccessful--began.s The man. ager led the chorus music, an excruciat- ing performance, to my profane ears sounding like a vain attempt to smother the squeals of two babes with the din of a bagpipe and a tin kettle. After few minutes, however, .a.sf
 "Sience, like q poultice came,
 To heal the blows of sound" :" Ae
 but only for moments space. The clown, grotesquely attired in red, and tricked out with leaves, waddled in and mimicked the hymn of the chorus. The manager remonstrated, and some laughter-provoking chaf, after the man. ner of circusses, ensued. The hymn was resumed, and the curtain rose and revealed the Gaupati, a vermilion-faced, elephant-trunked monster, with gold turpan, blue and gold tunic, and white legs. seated on very terrestial-looking cane-bottomed chair, in front of an h. dian house. Ganpati directed the man ager to sing in praise of Sarasvati (god- dess of learning and the arts,) and after the song flash of stage-lightning an- nounced the acceptance of the prayer. Sarasvati, dressed in gold brocade, pea. cocks head and neck projecting from her girdle. the tall feathers fastened to her shoulders, and displayed in fam shape above her head, next appeared, on her head golden hitter, and ker- chiefs waving in sutherland, like wings. The goddess danced swift spasmodic horn-pipe, and vanished. The chorus struck up hymn to the gods, and the prologue was over-10:05 D. m. Thus, as among other Aryah nations. the religious origin of the drama is indicated. This overture, traditional from the earliest times, and slightly varied some times by the introduction of the Sutradhar's wife, is the Indispensable preliminary to an Indian theatrical performance. The play proper now began. AS Tara" IS a close translation from "Cymbeline," all description of the plot would be out of place. The departures only from the original need here be noted. 1 must mention, however, one striking resem- blance to the drama of Shakspeare.s own time and the Imogen of Shaks- peare's day--all the female parts were acted by boys. It would have been diff ficult for any actress to have given with more womanly feeling or with sadder or more pleading voice the rendering of the part of Tara which saw. The audi ence must have been profoundly touched by the manner in which it was played, for in the cave scene, where Imogen lay seemingly dead, and was bewailed by the two boys, many ot the spectators brushed aside their tears, while one old rajah fairly blubbered outright. sei
The Russellville Democrat., 1880-07-22

l arose and went to the prison; but they would not admit me. No one'was to see my husband until after the trial Another day crept by, q night, and when morning came went down to the door and opened 1t, with vague feeling of expectation which always accompanies severe affiictions, and looked out. The sun was rising grandly and brightly over the black stone jail The frost hung thick and sparkling over every thing, even on the scrap of folded paper which lay at my feet. 1 stopped and bickedit up idly, as we catch at a straw or twig sometimes, without any motive or power of volition. The sub scription caught my eye; it was my own life, 1t was my own name and my husbands handwriting. l tore it open and read:
 ''DEAR LUcY-I have broken out of jail and am going well, no matter where. didn't strike Hastings with an intention to kill him. was intoxi- cated, an d it was more his fault than mine; but he may due, and then--at any rate, it is for you, Lucy, for me to go. l never was worthy of your love. Now you can go back to your father, and for get me and be happy. You will find the bonds for that money I have in the bank in the desk; it is enough to make you and the child comfortable. Forgive and forget me, Lucy. God bless you you and the baby. Tom"
 This was the endl this was the re- ward my cross word had purchased for me! Truly truly, the wages of sin is death. We shall not need one pang of corporal punishment, one spark of real fire, to perfect our torment if we are lost. Conscience is all-sufficient-re- morse, that worm that never dies. It is not for me to talk about what suffered in the days that followed that morning. Words could not express it, save to one who has passed through the same fur mace of afillction. But I lived, for sor- TOW and 6aoth. -nrelu walk in each
The Russellville Democrat., 1880-07-22
Hiu Mothers Boy.

In one of the public schools of San Francisco, a few days ago, a youth bub- bling over with high spirits violated a rule, and was sum moned to the bar of judgment. With many sobs and tears he confessed the soft impeachment. Have your mother call tomorrow" the teacher remarked, with awful and ominous significance. His maternal ancestor appeared on the following day, and, after being duly and publicly informed of the fragrant breach of discipline her son had been guilty of, was requested to say if she would punish him herself or have the teacher attend to the matter. She preferred the latter course, and urged that the blows be well laid on. The next day was appointed for such unpleasant affairs, the youth was summoned to the front. He came with hang-dog look and some trepida' tion. An oration on youthful frivolities having been duly delivered, the boy was ordered to extend his hand beneath an upraised ruler. He refused, and in accordance with the usual custom in such cases, was spread across the teach CTS knees, and the punishment was ad- ministered in another quarter than the one originally intended. For some un- explained reason the most energetic blows fell without the desired effect. A consultation of male teachers ensued and the offender was conducted to a private room and his wardrobe subjected to rigid examination. On the interior of his bifurcated garments, at a locality of great strategical importance in such an emergency, was thick flannel baby's frock securely attached. "Who sewed that on?" demanded the principal in a voice of thunder. My mother," an swered the boy, with broken sobs.
The Russellville Democrat., 1880-07-22
Early Marriages.

Of course young people ought to marry early, and build up q home together. The idea that man must be wealthy before he weds fills the community with fortline-seeking bachelors and un- happy spinsters; it endangers virtue, destroys true economy and design, and the beneficent intentions of the home. It promotes vice, idleness, inefficiency and imbecility among females, who seem, from an. unsympathetic outset thence forward, to expect to be taken up by fortune and passively sustained, and without any concern on their part. It is thus that man finds it difficult to obtain helpmeet. 1&E tf