Morning journal and courier., 1880-08-11
PEACH WOOL.

The beehive is the poorest thing in the world to fall back on.
 New York was almost struck with Cleopa- tra's Needle. They have had a site of trou- ble with it.-Boston Commercial Bulletin. The Boston Globe says that promising young horse in South Boston has been named Dr. Tanner in hopes that it will make him fast
 Mrs Cood1e was telling Jane that the po- tatoes had an oniony smell, when that mon
 ster Coodle suggested that perhaps they had
 been cooked in saucepan with leak in it. The last piece of rustic laziness encoun- tered by out-of-town correspondents is that of the man who, being asked what ailed his eye, answered: ''Nothin' I shut it coz I l can see well enough with one. Sometimes I l shut one, sometimes t'other."
 l Many physicians claim that intemperance 1 is disease. It must be contagious then; at 1 any rate, man who gets drunk usually catches it when he goes home. There may | appear to be some little discrepancy or con 1 tradiction here, but we can't stop for that l now.-Burlington Hawkeye.
 | Toronto patent medicine man recently ruined the sale of his ''Pulmonic Balsam' by l publishing 6 testimonial from man who as 1 serted that ''his wife, who had not been able to speak above whisper for five years, had | her voice completely restored by the use of | one bottle" When the Toronto man real | ized the effect of the publication, he wrung l his hands and said: ''An enemy hath done this thing"
 A Cambridge boy after weeks absence in the country wrote to his mother; T got here all right and forgot to write before; 1t is a very nice place to have fun. feller and
 went out in a boat and the boat tipped over
 and a man got me out and I so full of water I didn't know nothin' for good long while. The other boy has got to be buried
 after they find him. His mother come from
 Chelsea and she cries all the time. A hoss
 kicked me over and have got to have some
 money to pay doctor for fixing my head.
 We are going to set an old barn on fire to-
 night and I should smile if we don't have
 bully fun. I lost my watch and I am very
 sorry. shall bring home some mud turtles
 and shall bring home a tame woodchuck if I
 can get 'em in my trunk"
 Burdette, of the Burlington Hawkeye, tells
 how the scarcity of young men works for
 evil at Nantucket ''One evening, I don't
 remember when, introduced a young friend
 of mine, and he is very young and very bash
 full MT. Julian c. Elginbrod of Buffalo, to a
 young lady acquaintance. After few mo
 ments of society chatter he suggested the ice
 cream saloon. Then she arose and introduc-
 ed him to her two school girl friends, her
 mother, the mother of one of her friends, and
 an aunt who was visiting them. Then the
 aunt introduced him to her elder sister and an
 old lady who was not relative, they explain
 ed but was as dear to them as though she
 was their mother. Then they all said in 8
 general sort of a way, Well, are you all ready?'
 and answered themselves in the affirmative,
 as they slowly followed the horror-stricken
 young man to the door, and the process
 sion filed off down street toward the ice cream
 saloon, stopping the way at a house to pick up the old Iady's daughter, and calling at a store for the twin cousins of one of the aunts - beautiful girls they were - from Springfield I watchedIthe column when it swung by 'fours right into line in front of the ice cream saloon, where 1t formed like 8 line of men at railway ticket office, the old lady smilingly and patiently bringing up the rear, standing under the fiickering gaslight and the steadfast stars, awaiting her chance at the frozen pudding. It was far far in the summer night when Julian Elginbrod returned to the hotel and when I looked out of the window and saw his pallid face and glistening eyes, and noted the club in one hand and the re- l volver in the other. and heard him mention l my name and ask the night clerk what was the number of my room, 1 feared that he | might feel harshly toward me, and barrica- | ded the door of n}H room with the lounge, 1 the bedstead the stove and the trunk, just | before he came banging against it. He slept 1 in the hall that night, across my threshold, [ and only escaped the next afternoon, when the landlord weary of his incessant pound ing of my door panels with his club, had him arrested as dangerous lunatic."