The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-07-23

A LITTLE boy, weeping most piteously,
was interrupted by some unusual occur
renee. He hushed his cries for mo.
ment the thought was broken. "Ma."
said he, resuming his sniffie, "what was
I crying about just now?'''
RECORDER Ito witness with bandaged
eye)-"Did he have any provocation
when he struck you?" Witness" He
may have had something of the kind
concealed on his person, but it was a
brick he struck me wild"
WHEN inviting guests to dinner the
number should be limited in accordance
with the quantity of dinner that can be
served. Thirteen at the table is unlucky
when there is dinner enough for only
ten.
ACT one, they meet as in pleasant dream:
Act two, he'll treat to soda and ice-cream;
Act three, his cash, alas is nearly played;
Act four, his girl grows cold, sedate and staid:
Act five, just as his love is ripe and yellow,
His girl is porting with another fellow.
1t was colored preacher who said to
his flock: eve have a collection to
make this morning, and, for de glory OBJ
heaben, whichever. of youstole Mr.. JONES'
turkeys, don't put anything on the
plate. One who was there says, ''Every
blessed niggah in church came down
with the rocks"
A QUAKER gentleman, riding in car
riage with a fashionable lady decked
with a profusion of jewelry, heard her
complain Of a cold. Shivering in her
lace bonnet and shawl as light as a cob
web, she exclaimed "What shall [ do
to get warm 2" 81 really don't know"
replied the Quaker, solemnly, "unless
thee put On another breastpin p
A DANBURY man tells good story of
his aunt, who is a model housekeeper
and scrupulous stickler for a good
table. The clergyman called near the
dinner hour, and was pressed to stay to
the meal. At the table there was good
supply of well-prepared food, but the
lady felt compelled to make many apollo
gies for imaginary Deficiencies. In the
grace the clergyman asked our Heavenly
Father to "bless the frugal meal" This
made the lady very mad.
SAID Angelina, suddenly breaking the
oppressive silence, Don't you feel
afraid Of the army worms, Theodore, that
are coming so rapidly this way?" The
question was such a strange one that
Theodore's surprise caused him to look
right at Angelina for the first time in his
life. Why did she ask that, he wanted
to know. ooh, nothing" she replied,
as she toyed with her fan, "only the pa
pers say they eat every green thing
wherever they go"
THERE is great deal of interesting
conversation going on over the tele-
phone wires, if you have the machine
open and listen. The message of fond
mother whose cherub had eaten a water
melon or SO too much, and gentleman
who had sent home large reddish for
dinner, got mixed the other day. First
voice: "What shall do about the
baby?" Second voice: ''Scrape all
the scales off him, cut him open, and
have him dressed nicely for dinner with
caper sauce. Amt he a whopper?"
''MUsIc hath charms, etc. For in
stance: In travelling menagerie in
England was large lion. A piano was
played near him, the high tones of
which seemed to excite him to great
surprise. But scarcely had the low notes
been touched when he rose abruptly,
his eyes darting fire; )" he endeavored
to break his chains, he dashed his TANKS
with his tail and gave deafening roars
The music having ceased, the beast be-
came calm almost Immediately. As the
weather is now warm enough for par
lor windows to be thrown open, there
are thousands of people in this country
who feel just as that lion did. The fell
low vino fingered the piano in that me-
nagerie was not the only bad player In
the world NOrristOaOaa Herald.