The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-01
WAITS AND WHIMS.

THE shades of night go about dewing
good.
VERY few hens lay at the point of
death.
THE baby is musical because he has
arrived at the bandage.
THEY dress expensively who go to the
lawyer for their suits.
/ Sparkling across q garden fence ad-
nlits of a good deal being said on both
sides.
AFTER al, it was girl, and not boy
! who ''stood on the burning deck"-it was
Cassie B. Anca
A MECHANIC wants to know if the com
| pany for the making of artificial limbs Is
JOINT stock one.
TIE Boston Transcript has discovered
that we meet great many warm friends
during the heated term.
OkE man WA threatening TO whip
another. "Weu," said the other, g a
bull cen whip philosopher"
An Illinois girls toagt-'' The young
| men of America-Their arms our sup
port, our arms their reward; fall in, men,
'sli In"
AN elderly naidAn LADY, hearing it re-
heaven, remarked ti4at she didn't care
! aen& how soou she want there.
CAN oxpere0oed cutter" IS advertised
for in the New yoEk World. They
| doubtless want lila 20 bObtail paragraphs
| for their humorous column.
MoFIANNKRY heard gentleman say
| of another that he had too bsnigr
| collntanance, aud remarked: "a z be
countenance Phwst q face, to be
sure :"
An old lady says she never could i'm
agi1e where all the Smiths came from
until sha saw, ina New England town,
large sign, Smith Manufacturing Com
pany."
| A GENTLEMAN Advertises that his por-
trait (in Oils) has beeu stolen. There is
| nothing remarkable about this, though
for every one In having his likeness taken
| nowadays.
TIE word ''dear" is one Of the greatest
inventions in the English language
| Every married man can say ''my dear
wife, and no one can tell just exactly
what he means.
''Is the sentence, John strikes vii.
liam,'" remarked q school teacher,
''what is the object Of strikes?" Higher
wages and less work, promptly replied
the Intelligent youth.
A FRENCHMAN cannot pronounce
'fship." The word sounds 'sheep" in
his mouth. Seeing an iron-clad, he said
20 boy 'Is dis 8 war sheep?" ''No,"
answered ths boy, 'it's RAM"
IF you get in passion, my dear
friend don't fly around and swear, and
make all manner Of foolish assertions.
Just steal away and lie down in the sun
n while. A soft tan, sir, turneth away
wrath.
A MOTHER noticing her little daughter
Wire her mouth with her dress sleeve,
asked her what her handkerchief was for.
| Said the little one: 1t is to shake at the
ladies IN the street. That Is what papa
does with hls. p"
WHEN q Missouri grocer got up in
revival meeting and owned up that he
had sold dollar tea ut of the fifty-cent
chest for over ten yeals, the brethren were
Gerry backward about telling him that he
would hope for forgiveness.
"DAsHAwAY is a great reader, ISM
he?" asked Jones, the unsophlstlcated.
"Never heard that he was. Why do
you ask?" Smith replied. "Why, at the
races, the other day, while the rest of us
| were enjoying l146 oIJJ1 V AC ItNAhSA "a
nothing but his books. "OhP"
''MAmMA, said little girl, cas- peo-
ple get old does their hair grow quarrel
some?" 'FWhy no, my child! What
ever put such notion in your head?'
Ct thought it must be SO, ma, because 1
heerd that old peoples hair is constantly
falling outi''
TIE New York Times asks: ''Can
women enjoy heaven deprived Of wed
dings?" That depends. If new styles
bonnets make their appearance every
,her week, women viii manage to feel
Z appy without marriage to their back.
-NOrTtStoOn Herald.
KRUPP, the cannon maker, says he
never had the least success in his bust
ness until he began to drink beer and
smoke Detroit Free Press. Beer may
not hurt him, if he INDUCES moderately,
but we shorlld think that TO drink smoke
! would be pretty hard on the constitution.
A FIvE-YRAR-oLD son of family the
other day stood watching his baby
brother, who was making a great noise
over having his face washed The little
fellow at length lost his patience, and
stamping his tiny foot, said, g You tliDl
YOU have lots of trouble, but you don
know anything about it. Wait tall your
big enough to get a lickin and the
You'll see. won't he. namnaa?"
- es Ls-4 t<<.