The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-02-18
FEBRUARY Is
VARIETIES.

the father they are from heaven
/ -BatrCley,
Never think that Gods delays are
Gods denials. Hold on; hold fast;
hold out. Patience is genius
Button. ~ S5F +. I i. ~ IN, - "
"Ah ]" exclaimed good old Deacon
Stebbins, as he gazed at the skeleton
of a jackass, 1--WE are fearfully and
wonderfully made!" .nfHi huAWof
"Are you a professor of religion,
my little fellow ?" asked lady of
her pastors ix.year- old y,recently,
"No maam," I'm only the Professors
son." 81 80 @'A' 7''' =
"See, mamma p exclaimed little
one, as puss, with arching spine and
elevated rudder, strutted around the
table. "See! Kitty's eat so mnch she
can't shut her tail down." In
Josh Billings says: When young
man amt good for anything else, l
like tew see him carry a gold.headed
cane. If he can't buy cane, let him
part his hair in the middle. u.tr
'What is Heavens best gift to
mani" asked young lady on Sun.
day night, smiling sweetly on a
pleasant looking clerk. GA hoss,p
replied the young man, with pru.
dence. uu $3.50 p fsy 81
An old bachelor who particularly
hated literary women, asked an aG.
thoress, il she could throw any light
on kissing. II could" said she, loak-
ing archly at him; but l think it is
better ia the dark" h'a3- sjaFI4
"Twenty vars ago." says a colored
philosopher, ''niggers was wuf
thousand dollars apiece. Now dey
would be deah at two dollars a
dozen. It's 'stonishin' how de race
am runnin' down." III.
Tommy, aged ten, on'a visit to his
grandmamma in the country, hangs
his little hat and cloak in the hall.
way: "No fear Of burglars now,
Aunt Mary" said Tommy, "with a
mans hat and coat in the hall !"
A modern philosopher thinks it is
a mistake to suppose that women
have stronger attachments than men.
A man is often attached to all old
hat; but, he asks, "who ever
heard OF woman being attached to
an old bonnet?" +, lao8I ,qi
~ The color of a girls hair is regu-
lated by tie size 81 her father1spocket-
book. Ii the latter be plethoric, the
girls tressess are golden or auburn;
if the old mans wallet is lean, we
hear the daughter spoken of as only
"that red-headed GAL" You never
saw rich girl with red hair.
There are great many people in
the world who are bound by the
close ties of blood to the man who
had said that he had laid up two
shillings, one for himself and one for
the Lord, but that the one he had in
tended for the lord had been lost in
unfortunate speculation.
Large draughts of water are the
most injurious with ailments difficult
of digestion, like the fats; and the
drinking of too much water, after
fat pork, for instance, should be
avoided. But in countries where
soup does not constitute a regular
parL Of the meal, drinking water is
sanctioned by the best medical men.
"Your handwriting is very bad IN.
deed" said a gentleman to a friend
more addicted to boating than to
study; ''you really ought to learn to
write better" "Aye, aye!" replied
the young man; SIT is all very well
for you to tell me that, but if ! were
to write better, people would find out
how I could SPELL" aoir~r
A bridal party in St. Louis JUS
tees Office lacked the bridegroom.
He had quarreled with the bride, and,
after waiting an hour after the ap.
pointed time, she told her friends
that probably he did not mean to
come at all. Thereupon an old ad-
mirer offered to take the missing
mans place. The woman hesitated,
but fifteen minutes of vigorous court.
ship won her consent, and the cere-
mony was performed. 4s
"When a girl gets mad and raises
from fellows knee" says an ex-
change, shut thinks better of it and
goes back again, that's what they
call relapse" And here we have
been working for dear life to keep
off a relapse, under the impression
that it was in some way OF other
related to cholera.morbus. - Yankee