Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1880-01-30
ALL SORTS.

-Ago-as-you-ploaser race-The wom-
en-.
The lawyers favorite pudding
suet. Philadelphia Star. h'
There is one officer to every ten
soldiers in the United States army.
-Leap-year doesn't amount TO much
the men are so coy.-Boston Post.
"A maiden lady has resolved to
change her name to Conclusions,
having heard that men sometimes jump
that way. ..
With the beginning of the new sea-
son, says Kansas paper, all our sub
scribers who have paid up are one year
nearer heaven. ... "a.
1t takes 228 dogs to make a feast
for the Pawnee Indians, and even then
some of the children get nothing but
the wishbone.
-"This is high-handed outrage"
as the boy remarked when he found
that his mother had put the cookies Oh
the upper shelf.
-Enterprising undertakers of the
West advertise their business by send
ing about photographs of themselves
as they sit in their collins.
To keep a resolution, base it firmly
on good and sufficient grounds, and do
not forget either the preamble or the
resolution Sentinel.
"A little boy, aged five, having an
extremely youthful-looking mother of
twenty-four, wished her to play game
of leap-frog with him. Being refused,
he angrily exclaimed: 81 hate girls for
mas. ."-Londos Figaro.
The Cincinnati Enquirer explains
a paragraph which appeared in that
paper demanding that Mary Jackson
should be given control of the police,
by saying that the editor originally
wrote it Mayor Jacob.
Traveller" Here, waiter, take this
steak away and give it to the poor. It's
as tough as leather" Waiter (bland-
ly)-"We've never 'ad no complaints,
sir" Traveller" No; because that
wretched old COW had 'em all"
AT Greenville, S. c., it was an
nounced that son of Oliver G. Ross
and Miss Painter were to be married
on Thursday night, when the old man
threatened in case the wedding occur
red to kill his son. The marriage took
place, however, and the old man kept
his word.
40, doctor, the poor little fellow
is very ill. Do you think he'll liveP"
"Well," said the physician, looking in
terestedly at dirty faced urchin. If
he survives an application of soap and
water, there may be enough left of him
to worry through. Good day."-Neao
RaUen Register.
The widow of President Tyler, in
her petition to Congress for pension,
says that her means of support were
swept away by the late depression of
real estate. She continues: "In fact l
find have scarcely anything whatever
left to live upon, and it is only in this
extremity that appear before YOU"
"A Des Moines man came to the
clerk office, the other day, to get his
marriage license changed, and was
overheard to say: "The market is a
little unsteady and shakv just now, but
it's leap year, and if amt married be-
fore it closes the American wimmen
amt got the git up ana glU IN EN- InaJ
they're credited with
The Egyptian or rice corn is being
cultivated in Western Kansas to adj
vantage, and is considered a valuable
cereal acquisition, as it will yield in
any kind of weather. The product the
past year averaged about forty-five
bushels to the acre. The seed was OBJ
tanned from the display made by the
Egyptian Government at the Centen-
NAL Exhibition.
"A country doctor, being out for q
days shooting, took his errand boy to
carry the game-bag. Entering a field
of turnips, the dog pointed; and the
boy, overjoyed at the prospect of his
masters success, exclaimed, "Lor' /,
master, there's a covey; if you get near
'em, won't you physic emp "Physic
them, you young rascal! What do you
meanP" said the doctor. "Why, kill
'em, to be sure" said the lad.
1t was in the horse-car. First
Young Lady" Yes, and Julia is to be
married, too" Second Young Lady
"No! you don't mean it! To whom,
prayP" First Young Lady" To
Charley Stapleham. He's real nice
fellow-no bad habits, you know;
doesn't drink, nor smoke, nor chew. "
Second Young Lady" But he's awful
ly softr' They exchange glances.
smile sweetly, and Charley's virtues
are no longer praised. Boston Tran
script.
Young Hoopendike is rather given
to loquacity, also to tall language. So
the other night, while he was at the
New Years ball at East Fairfield, he
essayed to make himself very agreeable
to a beautiful young lady to whom
he was introduced: How sweet
it is" he began, "when the
glamour of the dazzling illumination
pervades the atmosphere of the spa
cious apartment, to commingle in the
gyrations of the terpsichorean festivi-
ties, and float as it were on ethereal
pinions to the realms of enchantment.
The young lady looked him square in
the eye, and replied: 40, go freeze your
teeth and give your tongue sleigh
ride.n Young Hoopendike was toe
much shocked and hurt to answer.-St.
Adams advertiser.
HOW THE FARMER MISSED 1T.
If had told her in the spring
The old, old story briefly,
When the sparrow and the robin began to
sing,
And the plewing was over chiefly
But haste makes waste, and the story sweet
f6abOueus VIII hcSp bnlOuku bho boHlnk
Till drop the corn and plant the wheat,
And give them a chance for growing.
Had even told the tale in June,
When the wind through the grass was
blowing,
Instead OF thinking 1t rather too soon,
And waiting till after the moving
Or had hinted, out under the stars,
That knew a story worth hearpg,
Lingering to put up the pasture bars,
Nor waited to do the shearingl
! Now the barn is full, and so is the bin,
, But I've grown wise without glory,
a Since love Is the crop not gathered In,
For my neighbor told her the story.
--Burlbgt0n HGiok-Eye.
"A little four-years-old was bor-
rowed by the manager of the Elko,