The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-04-13
& Legend of a Baggagc-Smashcr.

knew him. 1t was years ago His name
was-wcll, call it Bumps. If you ever get
into railroad struggle where one struggles
to get another off the track, you will know
more about Bumps, or your friends will.
This Bumps was Il nice young man. His
hair always combcd low down; he wore
brass buttons, and there was mysterious
report current that he had been known to
call on the sherry for three, on the Fourth
OF July, and had actually paid for it-paid
Tor 1t, sir! We held him in awe, we bows
dld. lie conld talk about lever watches.
pointer dogs, steam bargcs, and he could
relate incidents of difficulties in prize rings
SO beautifully that used to wish to knock
some one III The stomach, and break some
ambitious Engshman's jaw-bone. If
l5umps SAID anything the whole town sworc
'ha' II was So II he didn't say any thing
We stood back and waited for DEVELOPMENTS.
AT last he went away. His uncle used his
influence to get him Il position as baggage
master. ! never heard of him for Years.
but was called one day to sec him uic.
went with great pleasure Bumps was a
mere skeleton; his eyes were like saucers;
his hair Was all worn or from tearing
around SO in his bed. lie told me all about
1t. lie drove everybody out oil the room.
Daic me string up my nerves to hear a won
dcrlul tale, and then he commenced He
went on the railroad pure y oung man.
lie took charge OF trunks and boxes, and
commenced by lifting them by the handles,
ana setting them down carefully. IIo had
not served but month when the president
ot the road called him into the Office, cut
down his salary, and told him if there we're
any more complaints from the conductor.
Bumps would be dumped out of berth.
Then the young man grew cold and Stern.
lie was bound to suit tho railroad CORPORA
ton or die. lie began by walking up to a
poor old chest belonging TO an orphan, and
putting his foot through the corner. Tho
conductor saw the act; tho two shook
! hands, and they wcpt Tor hours on cach
others breasts. Bumps had not made two
trips before he could sling satchel eleven
yards, retaining both handles in his grasp.
Innocent owners OF such things Threatened
him, and commenced suit against him, and
sworc they would never ride on that road
ngain; but Bumps was firm. lie was dig
nliicd; hc was solemn; he was working
Tor higher sphere he was trcading in the
path Of duty.
When gentle females would hang up their
tcndY little baskets and satchcls, Bumps
would smile diabolical smile, and get in a
corner and jump On the articles aud toss
them up and kick them, and fling them
through ethereal space. And when the train
stopped he would throw ont WATERFALL and
Il toothbrush in answer TO call for check
''22. Husbands threatened Inn, and
dared him out of his den, and called him
base ticnd; but Bumps was solemn. He
knew Ills line of business. When he got
a In
| tcnanco like II strawberry for ioyfulness.
Lie would jerk Off one handle, then another,
then kick in the ends, then take an axe and
smash the lock, and then let tho shirts and
things rattle out on the track. 1t got 80 at
last that people actually paid high prices
for the privilege Of vng along tho line Of
that road, us they gothic shirts for nothing.
Az. that was needed wns to have tho child
rcn follow up Bumps train. But there
came black day. a miserable, contempt
lblc sncnliing wretch, who owned a saw
mill, went travelling. flc ran his factories
two weeks on nothing but trunk stuff, anu
hc brought out tho wclscdest trunk that
ever went into car. 1t was seven feet
thick all round, and there were sixteen
nails driven in, one on top Of the other, un-
Til the thing was clear proof. Then he
gave it into bumps hands, charging him to
be every careful, if he pleased" The train
started. Bumps got the axe as usual, and
| struck ut the lid, but the axe bounded back.
lie struck once more; tho axe flew in
pieces Then he got Il crowbar and can
| OF powder, but he couldn't burst.a rail. He
swore and jumped up and down, and want
cd TO dio, and wished he'd never been born.
lie got all tho train men in; they all pound
cd, but the trunk held firm. 1t wont
through all right. 1t was handed down
without jam, and the owner was there to
say, "Thank you, sir" and he pretended
he was going back again, and had the chest
put on board once more. Bumps grew
pale. lie grew sick. His legs shook IIo
had chills al over him. The trunk went
back, witness of mans inl,imanity to
man." Bumps grew worse, lie folt that
he was forever ulssraccu, and went to bed
with the brain fever. They tried to console
him, and said that they could have trusted
tho chest If they had only thought to 4lavc
a collision. was there when he died. I
never want to weep rs wcpt them. He
just shrunk right away, murnurmg: Course
| that t-r-l-n-k."