The Osceola times., 1880-01-17
EVE AS 4 TRADER.

EVE As 4 TRADER.
Adam had one Joy that We poor NOR
tails are deprived Of Eve never traded
off his clothes for plaster of Paris i'm
ages Whitehall Times.
BLAST FOR THE BABY.
A baby is very small thing. II don't
usually weigh over nine or ten pounds,
but it will keep family awake all night
as easily as if it was as large as an ele-
phant.-Oa Ctg Derrick.
GONE TO EUROPE AGAIN.
81 predict" said Caudle the other day
to his bosom friend, "a mild winter"
"On what grounds?' my wife and
mother-in-law have gone TO Europe, TO
stay till next spring. Cincinnati Conn
mercid'.
TWO or ONE.
A shirt has two arms, just as a panta-
looms have two legs; yet one is called n
pair, and the other is only one. Isn't ii
time to let up on astronomy and pay
more attention 10 the everyday trifles
that vex the clearest mind.-t tnka0un
Esad
AN OBSERVING BROTHER.
Observing little brothers remark be-
fore a room full Of company: ~ know
what makes that red mark on Mary's
nose II was the rim of John Parker's
hat" And there are girls who believe
that little brothers never go to heaven.
-iadretrs' Bdssdr.
GREAT IMPROVEMENT.
One of the rules of German New
n.lz g... =. - l.. Il
lowed TO spend their money or not. as
they please This ia great improve
ment on fairs where visitor is knocked
down and robbed rs soon as he entered
the door Unidentified.
HAD SERVED TERN.
A young Cincinnatian who was arrest
ed Yesterday and fined IS and sentenced
/ to imprisonment for life for whistling
Pinatorc moved out of the presence OF
I the Court with the remark: when ]
was lad served term, and therefore
! am kind Of used 10 it, Jedge "-Cincin'
matt Enquirer.
AwINrER iDYLL
Matmlde sends Us poem, winter
Idyll" The metre and rhyme are al
right, and the general jingle ejangle is ~
pretty rs a string of bells; bat there i
too much of this winter idleness, and ",
don't propose to encourage it by any
publication through our columns - Nara
hon Independent.
CAN'T YET DECIDE.
Last nights mail brought us poem
beginning:
! Why doth my Inlia hide her face
Within her krrchef white
What sorrow doth the tear-drops send
To dim her eyes calm light4
Of course we can't decide this ques
tion until after writing to Julia. but thu
chances are that she's going TO sneeze.
An INDICTMENT
Lady Ito new girl II pay forty dollar
year.
Girl-That is not enough.
I.ady-Bnt, besides, YOU will get pres
ents that they don't give everywhere
ten dollars at Faster, n new dress a
Christmas, and two dollars every time
there is a baptism in the family.
Girl-But cannot depend on getting
the last item every year for a certainty
Lady-When say thing mean it
/ II has been the custom IN our family
and as long as live it will not be abol
/ ished French Letter.
KNEW HER WANTS.
A pale-faced clerk In Woodward
avenue clothing store received set
back the other day from an old woman
which will retard his growth for yeai
to come. She entered the store, in com
pany with her son, and said;
II want to see some ulcer oyerroat'
for boys"
"lou mean ulster-u-l-s-i-e-r," he re-
piled.
Did ask for ulcer oyertoats?'
"Yes, ma'am."
''lhen ! want to see ulcer oyercoats
no matter how you spell il! got sp a
five o'clock this morning, rode fourier
miles facing the wind, sold two hogs an'
a barrel of cider, and, il ! don't know
what want. I'm not going to take an!
advice from walking goosc-quill lik'
you."-Ietroit Free Press.