Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-05-28
/ How Old Abe Got Rid Of q Bot;e.

One day, not long after Mr.. Lincoln
issued his emancipation proclama-
ton, Mr.. Wade came in, laughing all
over his face, and said: e 4:
Well, Old Abe has just done the
queerest thing you ever heard of.
He has given out he has, the smallpox
to keep the politicians and office seekers
away from the White House,
The story ran thus: MI. Wade went
to the White House to see Lincoln,
who had been i'll. He found the Presi-
dent a little pale, but jolly as he
could be:
"Sit down, Wade;I am glad to see
you. Oh, I have the funniest thing to
tell you; it will make you laugh. I
never did such thing before in my
life, and never will again." Then
the President laughed until the tears
ran down his cheeks.
"Now, Wade" he said, ayou are not
to repeat this outside, for it would give
offense, and it by no manner of means
COMFORTS with the dignity which is sup
posed to hedge President about. The
doctor put me up to it to rid myself of
bore; I ought not to have done it, but
couldn't help it. it wis 50 funny.
You know I have been i'll, and great
many people have wondered what allied
me, but none of them could find out.
The truth is, l was worried to death and
talked sick pretty much by one man,
the most everlasting bore you ever saw,
who wanted an Office. I knew he WOnld
come again as soon as I able to sit up, and
the doctor put me up to get rid of him
by saying l had the smallpox. only
got out yesterday, and sure enough this
morning he called on me. I had deter
mined to be polite to him; but he
stayed SO long the humor seized me and
I sent for the doctor: Giving him the
wink, held out my hand, and in
CURED:
"'Doctor, what marks are those on my
hand?'
"'That's varioloid, or mild small -pox,
said the doctor.
"*Well,' said T, it's all over Tie. It's
contagious, is it not, doctor?'
Every contagious indeed he re-
piled, and you should see no one.'
"My visitor, who had been getting
more and more nervous every moment,
now could stand it no longer, and, ris-
ing, said:
Well, Mr.. Lincoln, I can't stop any
longer. I just called to see how you
were,' and then he started to hurry
out.
"sStop minute; I want to talk to
you,' said ], about that Office
EXCUSE me, Mr.. President, you are
aot well this morning and I won't bother
,you,' said he, showing toward the door.
"'Never mind said I; don't be in a
hurry. It's all right, and if you are
going to get the varioloid you will get
it now anyhow; SO you might as well
sit down.
"'Thank you, sir, but I'll call again,
he replied, fairly turning ivid, and ex-
ecuting mastery retreat from the fear
full contagion with which he supposed
me to be afflicted.
Now said Uncle Abe, it will be
all over the city in an hotir that have
the smallpox, and you can contradict
the story, but T want you to promise
you won't repeat what I have Just told
you.'"
Wade laughed until he was weak,
and when he could get his breath suf-
fciently to speak he looked at the
clock as was his custom and said:
Now for little business and then
will go.":.~f.
"Don't co." cried Uncle Abe, and
laying his head in his hands on the
desk In front of him he laughed until
he shook all over. Presently raising
up his face from between his hands he
wiped his eyes and blew his nose until
the report sounded like the winding of
q horn. After another fit of laughing
he said:
"Wade, you should have seen him,
and how scared he was. I'll bet that
fellow never comes back here while I'm
President" -
As might have been expected, hardly
had Mr.. Wade quilted the White House
when he heard the President had the
small pox, and was very sick. Wade
promptly contradicted the story, but
thst night it was telegraphed all over
the country, and many people will yet
remember the story of Mr.. Lincoln's
having the varioloid during the war.
Commenting on the report, Uncle
Abe said to Wade: "Some people said
they could not take my proclamation
very well, but when ] get tho small
pox, Wade, I shall then be happy to say
Ihave something everybody can take"
PHILADELPHIA Times. :.