Smyrna times., 1880-07-07
WHOLE NO. 1906.
Current Opinion.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

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'stick" "'''N'"6
1t is strange, but nevertheless true. ba,
'he ta!Iost ministers preach the shortest
sermons. ''''
The cooks at Wellesley College are mon.
the professors are women. Few woman arr,
good cooks. ''''
Nanderbilts daughter is to marry nm
English lord. 4 free born American orJ
deaervcs a better fate.
The apple crop promises to be so abund
ant tins year that there will be chance
ior another hard cider campaign.
General lIancock's pen is as able as Ii.
sword d.-DI l@y Drr,rt. But accordnc -
Dougherty his sword is Stainless"
When New Zealand women meet ,Lav
rub noses instead Of kissing II s noah
less to add that they do not use powder.
When David Davis gazos at IIancocL.s
eIephantlnc proportions he wonders If that
nomination was not meant for him after
all.
The hardest worked people Just now are
the ladies who labor to keep cool by swing
ing fans with more ornament than air sur.
face
Arkansas men never shave themselves.
1t IS impossible to shave without soap and
soap IS very scarce in that part Of the
country.
4 Utica girl put carboic acid on her
finger to remove wart. Modification set
IN, and surgeon removed the wart and
most of the finger.
1t Is pleasant to know that the govern.
ment furnishes the officers of the regular
army with good, wholesome rations. Han
cock weighs $50 pounds.
, There are 5000 fugtives from Justice in
Texas, to say nothing Of the tens of thou
, sands who would be fu.itives if there was
) any justice there to flee from.
When woman first goes in bathing She
gets mad If anyone looks at her. After She
E becomes an expert swimmer she gets mad
II everybody don't look at her.
Moody, the evangelist, is 50 encouraged
: by his recent success that he has at last
+ concluded to tackle Washington, and will
60 there soon after Congress assemblies.
English, nominated at Cincinnati for vice
president, dyes his hair and wears paper
lLAthll W nv MS ndlI ANU wears
h paper collars will ever become an expert
e fisherman.
Treading in the wine press is fashion
. able and healthy amusement in Italy
: after the performance washing in hot wine
: being INDUCED in. What becomes Of the
g wine is not stated.
) If livery stable man wants to make a
IT fortune, he has only to advertise "horses
IS which can be driven with one hand
e Every youth who takes his girl out riding
l. will patronize him.
l. DR.. Tanner of New York has CONNER
D ced his forty days fast If he lives through
n it he will win $1,000; if ne does not the
e undertaken will probably charge about that
Il much to bury him.
IS The Chinese Of California pay $2j0,O0(
k year toward the support Of the public
is schools, yet their children are not allowed
to attend. This is one Of the beauties O
hoodlum legislation.
,s 1t must make the captain of a Ions
= Island Sound steamer mad to see all the
al passengers sitting around the decks with
n life -preservers on, but we suppose that i:
% the way they travel now.
he Turkeys paper money is now worth
At nine cents on the dollar. In Turkey, the
'd fiat money men are in the majority, and il
Weaver went there he could soon obtain a
large and influential constituency.
OF Fashionable ladies trim their lap dogs
IS with ribbons and then go hunting around
ST town for enough stuff off the same color to
as make dress of. The dress of the lady
d. and the ribbons on the dog must match.
i Leadville deacons are very conscientious
Il They would rather bear an insult in silence
than kill any one on their way to prayer
meeting, but the man who gives the oiiense
must look out for himself after the seTVl
at ces are over.
!; A Norwich (Ct.) man, aged 81, has buried
- - seven family physicians. lie lures them
II into tasting the medicine they prescribe
= for him and then throws what is left out oi
~ ~ the window. All the dogs in that place
60 are dead, too.
The passengers on the elevated railroads
in New York are so thoughtless as to spi
80 down on pedestrians below, and the wors
~ of it is that the people in the street can
ss spit back with any effect. They don
OO know what to do about it.
et St. Louis is going to have her letter car
eel riers make a census enumeration, TO see
he she cannot bring her population up to th'
nd desired figure. By sending half dozer
carriers, one after the other, over the same
district she hopes to succeed.
ne There is hope for Texas yet. Nearly
eS every paper in that State has denounced
ot the farce commonly called the Currle trial
Ut and the time may come when the average
lis Texan will conclude that murder deserve
en- punishment as well as horse-stealing.
General Arthur informs the Lowell Co1rle
that his middle name is "Allan." Hal
of the Bourbon papers in the country VII
90 now inform General Arthur that he know
sy nothing about it, and that his name !
he Abram, Absalom or something like that.
nd The reason that Edison makes so littl
he progress with his electric light IS because
IN in response to numerous requests, he ma
given his whole attention to lnVentlng
lamp post which will not only do to lea
ne against but will, if so desired, start of ant
pilot a man home.
CT The fact that SO many New York ladle
Wy are handsome is another illustration
ma Darwin's theory, "the survival of the n
an test" The pretty girls are helped acro'
l'S Broadway by gallant policemen and ilve
become the mothers of pretty chhdreh
the homely girls have to look out for then
ky selves and are killed of by the passing on
ate n;hueas
er- --s>---
lat counle were recently married at New
om port after a courtship of thirty'hVe year
Instead Of marrying in haste to repent
leisure they sensibly waited until they ha