Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-12-22
kNlCk-kNACkS.

BEAR and for bear-Bruin and his
dinner.
The young man who was kicked out
of his girls house very properly styled
her father free booter.
A KISS on the forehead of some of our
modern girls is sort of salaam bang sal
utation. Boston Globe.
AN exchange has an article on "Smok-
ing Minister'S" Most of them are dry
enough to smoke Christian at Work.
Yes, but very few of them draw.-Ea.
The editor headed the article, 'Lydia
Thompson Robbed" but the printer
omitted one b, and the article created a
great deal of surprise.
A LITTLE girl, few days since, adj
dressing her sister, asked, "What was
the chaos pa was reading about to-day?'
To which the latter replied, "'Twas a
great pile of nothing, and no place to
put it in
A WORCESTER correspondent relates
an anecdote of the late Father Taylor,
who, not liking certain mayors adj
ministration, prayed with his usual
directness: so Lord! give us con-
siderabIy better one"
GUIBAL1oRD clerical. CT am pleased
with myself" he said the other day. st
was asked to contribute aid for the bare
footed friars.' "And you did 500"
Immediately. I sent pair of new
shoes. "--Paris Paper.
The mayor of a provincial town, awed
by O visit of grand nobleman, presented
him to his family by saying: 81 have
the honor to present to you nay wife and
daughter. My wife is the older one"
Paris Paper.
AT theatre in Dublin gentlemanre-
quested man in front of him to sit
down. adding, sarcastically, 81 suppose
you are aware, sir, that you are not
Opaque" 81 shall sit down when it
suits me, was the response; and if you
want to handle my name, mind it's not
O'Pake at all, but O'B1ien."
$50 you enjoyed your visit to the me-
nagerie, did you?" inquired Harlem
young man of his adored ones little
sister. "Oh, yes and do you know,
we saw camel there that screwed it's
mouth and eyes around awfully, and
sister said it looked exactly as you do
when you are reciting poetry at the
church sociables."
A BICYCLE has been invented which
carries the little wheel in front Of the
big one. This will prevent the annoy
ance experienced in the present bicycle,
when the little wheel takes notion to
climb up the riders back, and, falling,
leaves him studying astronomy on the
sidewalk, after ''header. '-NeW HaUen
| Register.
ANOTHER pervarter Of the truth.-Re-
| freshist: "Goin' to fetish a dropsh O
peer, old woman? Thatsh right"
Wife: Eyes, but not for you; you said
you were going to take the pledge this
morning. ssYesh, I ave been round
to the Good Templarsh lodges this morn
IN, but they amt got vacancy till after
Chrismash. Fun.
"YoUR visits remind me of the growth
of a successful newspaper" said Uncle
Jabez, leaning his chin on his cane and
glancing at William Henry, who was
sweet on Angelica. "Why SOP" in
quired William Henry. "Well, they
commenced on weekly, grew to be
tri-weekly, and have now become daily
with Sunday supplement. t."
MINISTER to Rory why weren't
you at the kirk on Sunday?" Rory-"I
was at Mr.. Dunlop's kirk" Minister
81 don't like your running about the
strange kinks in that way Not that /
object tea yer hearing Mr.. Dunlop; bu
I'm shure We widna like yer ain sheep
straying away into strange pastures. !"
Rory-"I widna care grain, sir, If it
were better grass. Judy.
At meeting of adjusters in New
York city, solemn, sober member made
an heroic effort to explain joke that
was perpetrated on the morning of the
Ansonia clock works fire, six weeks ago.
Meeting the aforesaid solemn gentleman
the Joker gravely remarked: "What
terrible calamity Think of it Over
2, 800, 600 hands thrown out of employ
ment!" "What, $500, 900 hands % ex-
claimed the evidently surprised listener.
eyes," continued the funny" man,
over $500, 900 clock hands are utterly
ruined"
CoNJUaAL conversation. Time-Every
evening during the holidays. Scene
The domestic hearth. "And oh
Charles, I've seen such lovely things !"
"Huhr' "And they are SO cheap!'
"Huh!" "And want to buy -.
and -, and and q = tor
dear mother and the girls. "Huh!'
"And some things for the children"
"Huh!' "And there are some bargains
in housekeeping things" "Huh!"
And want to buy little giftfo you,
Charles" 'Well, how much money do
you want ?''-Boston Transcript
A FEW thoughts in church: This
sermon is q bore" "How much longer
will he preach ?" Sc That man isn't OF
all bad looking" "I wonder If Emma
is engaged" Well, if old Mrs. Foo
Foo isn't wearing turban, too" CT
wonder how much that bonnet cost. ;"
cit sounds as if he was going to close
up the sermon" ST do wish that
Bernhardt season mad commenced"
GIVE got great mind to have it trim
med with scarlet" &C. must order