Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-07-08
Sips of Fun.


his goods cannot be under soled
The Chicago hotel keepers
idea of heaven is one perpetual
convention.
A cruel husband calls his wife
"green fruit" because she never
agrees with him.
In the Salt Lake City flats APP
pears this sign-'Ring the top
bell for the oldest wife"
You can kick a bush in any
county Of Ohio and out will
jump an office-seeker.
The society lady never sheds
tears. She knows enough to
keep her powder dry.
What a singular magnetism
there is between the piano finger
board and a young lady with dia-
mond finger-rings!
A lady nowadays doesn't mind
having her age recorded in the
family bible. 1t is almost sure
to remain a secret.
Poor Adam had no choice
when he felt matrimonially in
clined. He had to take the first
woman he came across.
Fifty years ago, according to
Gris,mothers used to enforce the
you knit rule upon their daught-
ers, and it worked well.
Starch is said to be explosive.
1t causes explosions in the fam
lily when the old man finds it has
been left out of his collar.
A Southerner has welded a
Miss Lizzie Dollar, and they say
marriage is a lottery, it is fair
to infer he drew cash prize.
It's our opinion that it rains
more upon the just than upon
the unjust, for the unjust gets
away with some other fellows
umbrella.
In one portion of Siam the
natives worship a horse and one
of those worshippers comes pret-
ty near being a neightheist,
doesn't he?
The Wheeling Leader is PALM
ing off the biggest snake story
on record, how a serpent at
tempted to swallow a New Jer-
sey mosquito.
Scientists claim that smoking
Injuries the eye-sight. But this
is not true. The boy with a
cigar stump in his mouth can see
his father ten squares away.
1t is the easiest thing in the
world to find a man willing to
bet hat on his candidate, but
it is the hardest thing in the
world TO find the man If he |
loses.
A Western young man dress
ed up as a girl, and got half the
beaux of a town that he visited,
in love with him, until he gave
himself away by not fainting at
sight of a mouse.
An Iowa lawyer reached out |
toward a big inkstand while adj
dressing the court, and the near
est man promptly knocked him
lown. They believe1n the ounce
If prevention out that way.
The man who is curious TO
see how the world could get a
ong without him can find out
by sticking a cambria needle in
o a millpond. and then with
lrawing it and looking at the
lole.
An exchange says that a ton
If gold is worth only about half
/ million dollars. We give this
or what it is worth; our time
las been SO taken up with poll
les, and somebody has the hid
len away the scales. +
Some men arc not towards,
,ut they're afraid, that's all.
4 New York man OH his death
,ed spoke in whispers for fear
# waking up his wife, who {
lept in the next room. !
After all some of the old
'roverbs are pretty correct 1t 7
s "better to make hay while the .
un shines" 1t would be very }
.wkward going out after dark /
nd trying to hold lantern and !
wing a scythc.
An eminent Boston preacher
nee said that it was a mockery '
o pray at night for sweet and
sleep, without seeing
0 it that the bedroom is well '
.eniilated. God takes care of S
hose who take care of them
elves.
The people of a New Hamp- +
hire town are so fearfully lazy /
hat when the wife of a minister ,
vho had just settled in that town t
sked a prominent citizen if the
Inhabitants generally respected +
he Sabbath and refrained from .