The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-11-03
PITII AND POINT.


A BAD habit--A seedy coat.
A POOR sick man, with mustard
plastcr on him, said of I should cat
loaf Of bread I'd be live sandwich"
HOWEVER dirty n man may be, says
tho Elmira AdUcrtis'r, it is possible for
him to keep clean conscience.
Ir was on account Of his being turned
out to grass that he was called Nip-a-
cud-nezaar. -Phiiadelphia Bulletin.
A LEADING actor declined an invita-
ton to fight Il duel on the ground that
he didn't believe he would make hit.
THERE Is Il man in Aurora 80 thin that
he had row Of buttons put on his UNI
brclla cover and wears it for an ulster
Burijn9ton HaWk-Eye,
CARE you lost, my little fellow ?"
asked a gentleman OF 4-year-old, one
dry, in Rochester. "No," he sobbed
in reply, "b-but m-my mother is. ="
JOSH BILLINGS has found one thing
that money cannot buy, and that is the
wag Of dogs TAIL 1t is IN honest ex-
preston Of opinion on the part Of the
dog.
"THERE," said a charming lady, with
a naive expression that made her face
radiant, pointing to an ebony case Of
china-ware, "that is my brick-bat cab
met"
"WHAT papers off my writing-dosk
are You burning thereP" cried an author
to tho seryant-grl. ooh, only the pa
per what's all written over, Sir. l hain't
touched the clean"
A MAN gets into trouble by marrying
two wives. If he marries only one, he
may have trouble; and some men have
come 10 sure tribulutlon by simply
promising to marry one Trouble any
how.
Two CoQUETTEs mot a gentleman in
the street. What" said one, "you
passed him without bowling You GER
tuinly wcro III love with him yesterday. y
eyes, for about an hour. | fancied that
he rescmbled somebody with whom I
was i'll love for n week last year.
AN Irish agent, having been instruct
cd to raise rents, called meeting OF the
tenants, and apprised them Of the inten-
ton. "YOu can afford it," said he
"see how the prices have risen" 81
lenco was broken by an old farmer, who
said eyes there is no denying that.
1t used to cost II pound TO got an agent
shot, and now DE jabers, it can't be done
undel two" Tho rents have not been
raised.
A MINISTER was questioning his Sun
day-school concerning the story of Eu-
tychus--the young man who, listening
TO the preaching of the apostle Paul,
fell asleep, and, falling down, was taken
up dead "What," he said, edo we
learn from this solemn event." when
tho reply from u little girl came put and
prompt, "Pleuso, sir, ministers should
not preach too long sermons"
THEY were walking in the fields, and
Mary hcsitatcd TO pass through lane
that contained puRnaciouS-lookinp
CONT. "Why Mary" said Charles,
"como along this is the first time you
over refused me when | asked you tC
pass the butter" Upon this appeal, o.
course she hcsitatod no longer, especial
ly as she now noticed that William was
tothorod
'MTnA FoRTUNE-rELLER was arrested IL
Paris, and carried before the Tribunal o.
Correctional Police. "You know how
to read fUrtuncs?" said man OF grea'
wit, but rather fond Of n joke for mag
iatratc. II do, sir, said the sorcerer
"Tn that case, said the President, "yor
know the Judgment we intend to pro
nounce?' Certainly" "Whnt vii
happen to you?' "NothingP Yor
are sure of tIut2" "Yes; you will acqui
me" "Acquit your "Thero is NJ
doubt about it," "Why?' " Because
sir, if it had been your intention to con
denim me, you would not have added
irony to misfortune" The President
disconnected, turned to his brother
Judges, and the sorccrcr was discharged,