The Portland daily press., 1880-12-01
Stories of Parish Clerks.

tAllJhe 4 ear hound.l
When clergyman has gone to take the du-
" for friend and was leaving the church, he
looked at the sky aid made remark to the
parish clerk as to the probable W Gather on the
morrow, when the clerk replied, "Ah, sir,
they do say that the hypocrites can discern the
fsoo Of the sky" Another parish clerk apol-
ogized to church dignitary who had been
summoned to take service at a small village
Sauroh, II am sorry, sir, to have brought
such gentleman as you to this poor little
place. A worse would have done if we had
only known where to find him!'
1t IL said Of clergyman who 20 forgot the
proprieties of his Office that in reading the
shurohing service to a lady of title, he altered
the words "save this woman to "save this
lady" upon which the courtly parish clerk
promptly made the very natural response,
"who putteth her ladyship's trust in Thee"
The Rev. Prebendary Jackson, in speaking of
Berkshire clergymen within his own recolec-
tion, says, concerning q village church where
there was only ono Sunday service, in
the afternoon: "Often while the parson was
In the middle Of his discourse, the powdered
yellow plush Of the squire whose ancient man.
sion adjoined the churchyard, would enter the
priests door in the chancel, and advancing to
the front of the pulpit, would say In a respect
fol but somewhat authoritative voice; 'If you
please, sir, my master bids me inform you that
dinner Is waiting!" The old curate then closed
The book, gave the benediction, and set off TO
Join his patrons Widespread board.
Another courteous rector was one in north
- T. H. IL.
ming divine service until he had satisfied HIM
self that the Squire was duly ensconced in the
family pew, but happening one Sunday to
omit ascertaining the fact he had gone into tie
desk and had commenced, "When the wicked
man"-when he was instantly stopped by the
faithful clerk, who exclaimed: HE amt come
in, SIR" This is a we'll known story, and is,
perhaps, apoeryphal, but something similar
happened to friend of mine, who did his du-
~ aftel his ordination as deacon in q village
church to which he had been appointed curate,
his rector being engaged in another part of the
parish. The old parish clerk, after ringing
the two bells at the west end of the church,
came mp to the chancel where the curate had
put on bis surplice behind the big-curtained
eDd Of the squire's pew, the church not boast
Ing. vestry, and was looking ut his watch
for beginning his first service. To his surprise
The clerk, after saying to him in an audible
voice, "You must wait bit sir. we ain t
ready" olambered onto the communion table,
aud stood upon it while he looked through
the east window and carefully scrutinized the
ohurchysrd path that led past the window
10 door IN the wall of the squirc's garden,
through which bis wife who was lady of title
Wa accustomed to come to church with her
children. Tho curate was full of George Her
bert's and Keble's reverence tor holy places,
and was aghast at the sight Of the parish clerk
thus standing on the communion table in full
sight Ut the congregation, and cody turning
round from his inspection through the east
window and saying to the curate in an audible
voice, "You moantbegin yet. Her ladyship
bsint comel' "Pray come down. expostu-
lated the curate. II can see best ~here I be, .
responded the imperturbable clerk. "I'm
watching the garden door. Here she be, and
tho squirrel upon which he descended from
his position, greatly to the curate's relief. AS
the incident excited no surprise among the
rustic congregation, it probably was Of fire.
quent occurrence.
When my friend had come to an end of that
eventful service. and had disrobed, for it was
In days whom the black gown was worn in the
pulpit, the clerk said to him very cheerfuliy,
They'll se as you was beginnerv' I'm.
deed, how?" a,ked the curate, who had fat
terod himsof that he had gone through the
service without making any mistake. "Why,
You left out some'af, the Habseu toni" said
the triumphant clerk; and it was in vain for
the CITRATE to inform him that as he was only
In deacon's orders, he had not the power to
read the Absolution, and was therefore legally
compelled TO omit it. The clerk still preserved
his original opinion, somewhat modified after.
wards BY the explanation to his friends "He
Amt old enough for it yet"