The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-24
FACTS AND FANCIES

TIE selfish man cares for No. !. and
often no one cares for him.
PHYs1o, says an old surgeon, is the art
OF amusing the patient while nature
cures the disease.
SIZE vas my idyl when wooed
Ny idol when won;
Ny ideal whom, In after years,
Ways Idle she had none.
10 PREVENT improving toe-nails: Gut
or scrape a groove down the center and
pare the ends off square; never cut the
sides.
WHEN girl is 20 she feels very easy
on that score. It's only when she scores
another that she begins to wonder who
invented wrinkles.
SQUIRE SCOT your eye in mourning
again, I see, Pat ?" Pat-"Oi have. It's
in mournin' for the batin' I gave that
brute Rafferty, this day."
"DoN'T be afraid" said q snob to a
German laborer, "sit down and make
yourself my equal" II would half to
blow my praips out, was the reply Of
the Teuton.
A CASE of excessive alteration: Curl
osity hunters have carried off all the
buttons from the cushions in the pews in
Christ Church, Alexandria, where WASH
ington once sat.
SEED about which there is any doubt
should be tested before planting to as
certain whether it will grow. Badlv-
kept seed often causes disappointment
from its failure to terminate.
LIS BUSINESS good ?" inquired friend
Of Newark undertaken. "Business
good?" he reiterated. "You bet-two
in walnut, two in rosewood, and three
on ice at this blessed moment"
"GooD-MoRN1Na, Patrick; you have
got q new coat at last, but it seems to fit
you rather too much" ''Och, there's
nothing surprising in that; sure, I wasn't
there when was measured for it."
BLIGHT is a quick conner which gives
no warning. The best that can be done
Is to cut away the portion ,"struck"
down to the live wood. If the tree is
badly affected it is best to remove it en-
tirely.
1--WE wish, says Texas newspaper,
81 that few of our citizens could be per-
mitted to live till they die natural
death, so as to show the world what q
magnificent healthy country Texas real
~ is"
A LADY said to a little boy, aged 4:
"Don't stand up in the carriage, be-
cause you might tumble out, and then
there would be no Harry" ooh, yes, +"
replied he, "there would be Harry on
the road"
In certain Massachusetts normal
| school the word Eucharist was given
out not long ago to be spelled and de-
fined. More than three-fourths of the
gir-beg pardon-young ladies wrote
eucherist, person who plays eucher. "
A BosroN lawyer told another lawyer,
who asked him a question, that he lsu-
ally received pay for his advice.
"Then," said lawyer No. l, extending
so cents, "tell me all you know, and
give me back the change"
TOLLS were first paid by vessels pass
ing the Stade on the River Elbe, l1O0
In England ton-bars originated in 1867,
o penny being asked for every wagon
that passed through a certain manor, and
the first regular toll was collected few
years later for mending the road in Lon
don. between st. Giles and Temple Ba1.
"AFrERall," remarked the young man.
skimming lightly over the gravel walk
gate, "after all, what boots it," And
the muscular looking old gentleman at
the top of the porch steps, with his
spectacles jostled little crooked, said
that if the young man himself didn't
know, he didn't know anybody in that
township that did.