The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1880-08-15
MARK TWAIN.
AMr soAD-r
Tho Channels Etaud-Thc Cuckoo Bors
The ptcpttiui Jodct sunrise on til,

Tho Channels Etaud-Thc Cuckoo Borc |
The picpttiui JodcI sunrise on the |
Riei.
We lett the train for Switzerland, aud |
reached Inccrnc about 10 o'clock at night. |
The first discovery made was that the
beauty Of the lake had not been exagger
atcd. Within day or two | made another |
discovery. This was that the Landed cha !
mois is not a wild goat that it IS not u
horned animal; that it is not SHY; that IL does
not avoid human society, and that there Is |
no peril in hunting it. The chamos is
black or brown creature, no bigger than |
mustard seed. You do not have to go after
1t. it comes after you. II arrives in vast
herds, and skips aud scampcrs all over your
body, inside your clothes. Thus il is not
shy, hut extremely sociablc. 1t is not afraid
of man; ON the contrary, il will attack him.
Its bite is not dangerous, but neither Is it
pleasant. Its activity has not been over
stated. II you try to put your finger on it,
1t will skip thousand times its own length
at one jump, and no eye is sharp enough to
see where ii lights. great deal of roman
tic nonsense has been written about the
Swiss chamois and the pcrls of hunting it,
whereas the truth is that even women and
children huntit and earlessly. Indeed every
body hunts IL. The hunting is going on all
the time, day and night, in bed aud out of
it. II is poetic ioolishncss to hunt il with
gun. Very few people do that. There is
not one man in a million who can hit it with
a gun. 1t is much easier to catch it than it
is to shoot it, and only the experienced cha
mois hunter can do either. Another com.
mon piece of exaggeration is that about the
scarcity of the chamois. 1t is the reverse of
scarce. Droves of loo, 200, 600 chamois are
not unusual in the Swiss hotels. Indeed
they are so numerous as to he a great pest.
The romancers always dress I'M the cbamois
| hunter in ianciful and picturesque ros-
| tune, whereas the hest way to hunt this
| game is to do it without any costume at all.
The article of commerce. called clamos
skin is another fraud. Nobody could skin
| channels. II is too small The creature is a
humbug in every way, and everything which
| has been written about il is sentimental eX-
aggcration. 1t was no pleasure to me to find
the chamois out. for he had been one of my pet
illusions. All my life it had been my dream
| to see him in his native wilds some day and
engage in the adventurous sport of chasing
| him from cliff to cliff. 1t is no pleasure to
Inc to expose him now, and destroy the
| readers delight in him and respect for him,
but still it must he done, for when an honest
writer discovers an imposition it is his sim
Pile duty to strip 1t bare and hurl it down
from its place OF honor, no matter who suf-
fers by it. Any other course would render
him unworthy of the public confidence.
In Lucerne we grew very tired of seeing
wooden quails and chickens picking and
strutting around clock faces, and still more
tired of seeing wooden images of the alleged
chamois skipping about wooden rocks, or
lying upon them in family groups, or prcring
aertly up behind them. The first day |
would have bought one hundred aud fifty of
these clocks if had had the money! did
buy three-hut on the third day the disease
had run its course. had conval.sced, and
was in the market once more--trying to sell.
However, had no luck, which was lust AS
we'll, for the things will be pretty enough,
no doubt, when get home.
For years my pet aversion had been the
cuckoo clock now here was, at last, right
in the creatures home; so wherever went
that distressing "boohoo, hoo'hoo hoo'hoor'
was always in my ears. For nervous man
this was a fine state of things. Some sounds
are hatefuller than others but no sound is
quite so inane and sllv and agnravatng as
the "hoo'h " of a cuckoo clock, think.
bought one, and am CARRYING it home to Il
certain person for have always said that
if the opportunity ever happened would dc
that man an iii turn. What | meant was
that would break one of his legs, or some
thing of that sort, but in Iucernc | instantly
saw that I could impair his mind. That
would be more lasting, and more satisfactory
every way. So | bought the cuckoo clock
and if ever get home with it he is an,
meat as they say i'm the mines, thought
of another candidate-a book reviewer whom
| could name if wanted to-but after think
4 ing it over | didn't buy him n clock,
couldn't inure his mind
$ In climbing the Alps we came upon half ;
: dozen sheep nibbling grass in the spray of .
stream of clear water that sprang from a rocl
+ wall hundred feet high, and ali at once ON
ears were startled with melodious "Iul. 4.
l.lul-ml- Iuhee-o-oor pealing ioyously from
Q a near but invisible source. and recognized
y that we were hearing for the first time th
: , famous Alpine jodd in its own native wilds
D And we recognized also that it was that sor
I of quaint commingling of baritone and fail
!, setto which at home we call "Tyrolese war
5 bling"
The ioleling pronounced yolling-enpha
sis on the o) continued, and was very pleas
e ant and inspiriting to hear. Now the lode
e Ter appeared-a shepherd boy of sixteen
y and in our gladness and gratitude we CAV
h him franc to iodel some more. So h
. odeled and we listened. We moved on pres
: emily. and he generously iolelel ne ont r
e sight. After about fifteen minutes we cam
: across another shepherd boy who was odel
!, ing and gave him half franc TO keep il NJ,
y He also iolelea us ont of sight. After Tia
Z; we found ioleler every ten minutes: W
u gave the first one eight cents, the secon
u one six cents, the third one four cents, Il,
d fourth one a penny, contributed nothing
:. Nos. 3, 6. and I. and during the remand,
, of the day hired the rest of the iodelers Mt
: franc apiece not to odel any more. Their
~ is somewhat too much of this iodeling in tn