The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
NUMBER 80.
Awful German Grammar.

"A person VINO has not Studled German
can form no idea what a perplexing Ian
guage it is Surely there is not another
language that is so slip-shod and system.
less and SO slippery and Elusive to the
grasp. One is washed about in it, hither
and thither, in a most helpless way; and,
when at last he thinks he has captured a
rule which offers finn ground to take
rest ON, amid the general rage and turmoil
of the ten parts Of speech, he turns over
the page and reads, Let the pupil take
note of the following exceptions" He
runs his eye down, and finds that there
are more exceptions to the rule than in
stances of it. So overheard he goes
again to hunt for another Ararat and find
another quicksand. -
There are ten parts of speech, and they
are all troublesome. An average sentence
in a German newspaper is sublime and
impressive curiosity; it occupies quar-
ter of q column; it contains all the ten
parts of speech-not in regular order, but
mixed; it is built mainly y of compound
words constructed by the writer on the
spot, and not to be found m any dietion-
ary-six or seven words compacted into
one, without joint or seam-that is, with
out hyphens; it treats of fourteen OF fif-
teen different subjects, each inclosed in
parenthesis of its own, with here and
there extra parentheses which re-inclose
three or four of the minor parentheses,
making pens within pens; finally, all the
parentheses and re-parentheses are
massed together between couple of
king -parentheses, one of which is placed
in the first line of the majestic sentence
and the other in the middle of the last
line of it latter aotich comes the verb,
and you find out for the first time what
the man has been talking about; and
after the verb-merely by way of orna-
ment as far as I can make out-the
writer shovels in "habeae sind geWesen
ge7tabt hdbe'a geaoorden sein," or words
to that effect, and the monument is fin
ished. ir r.-ler '-s-W
Now observe the adjective. Here was
case where simplicity would have been
an advantages; therefore, for. no other
reason, the inventor of tha language
complicated it all he could When a
German gets his hands on an adjective,
he declines it and keeps on declining it
until the common sense is all declined
out of it. l.r.E e87 -rE.s
|. Some German words are so long that
they have perspective. Observe these
examples: IlefEsri y'sF sEa.Hfr ". g.
Freunds schaftsbezeigungen. s .i
Observation-Disclosures
These things are not words; they are
alphabetical professions. And they are
not rare; one can open q German paper
any time and see them marching majes-
tically across the page and if he has any
imagination he can see the banners and
hear the music, too.-MarE TUai,,.
~ sThe Collector
It is always the fate of a man who tries
to collect an old bill to get snubbed.
Now we think of it, the old bill collector
streets from day to day, trying to find
the man who is ever trying to dodge
him, ought to have more sympathy. His
only business is to persuade delinquents
to pay their just debts, and yet every
sailor looks upon craft that has raised
the, black flag of piracy Poor fellow !
He has a hard time OF. it trying to catch
sight Of the man who has just gone round
the corner, who will be back in five min
utes, SO the clerk says, but who never
comes back until the old bill collector
$5OuS.f lU ID Ou 1CCOIo Ny oOlhO
strange fatuity of fortune collector
once found his debtor at home. Such a
circumstance nearly took his breath
away, for, like the Wandering Jew, he
had been flying from pillar to post for
nearly a year, and had never once found
the right man in the right place but he
took out his battered wallet and pre-
sented the account, yellow with age, and
humbly asked for settlement E"You
must call again, was the stern, .impera-
tive demand of the man. who never in
tended to have money enough to pay
that BILL The victim with the thread
bare clothes and wornout shoes sug-
gested that it was not easy to go up three
| flights of stairs three times day in order
to find the ominous word scout" on the
office door. 7"Well," said the naughty
debtor, perhaps you would like to have
me rent room on the first floor for the
sake of my creditors The cid bill col
lector uttered deep sigh, put his wallet
back into his pocket, and walked into a
back alley where his home was, while
the jaunty debtor sprang into his landau
and went up to the park for drive.
Such is ife.-Nea0 York Herald.