The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-03-11
KEEPING A COW.

L have kept holidays, and Kept accounts, and
Kept good company, and kept house, and kept the
greatest part Of the commandments, and kent
books but never kept COW until very lately.
| The water which the milkman rinsed his pals
with, and tbickened his milk with, got 80 very
bad Of late that while It was milk Of the FIRST
water, 1t was hardly milk OF the first bit OF cream
That milk was so weak 1t couldn't under any
circumstances, be able to bear up the least bit Of
cream. The water would come TO your eyes In
looking at 1t, and your sensitive soul would be
filed with pity for 1t.
Had 1t been all water and no milk, wouldn't
have objected so much but II had just enough
milk In 1t to spoil 1t for washing purposes
Ny wife said i'll would buy COW (and oversee
~ she would do without girl TWO weeks and do
the washing herself 80, when heard where there
was a fellow who had short horned muley COW
for sale went and purchased her. gave sixty
| dollars for her that Is, l went much against my
| inclinations and wrote note for that sum.
took hold Of that cows tail and steered for
home-or tried to- but she was no steer, for she
SHE'D off into all the alleys, while kept behind
her, followed by small boy that had hired to
swear at her and do justice to the occasion.
She was great shyer. think the man inform.
ed me that she was Devon.Rhire. thought she
was myself, slightly crossed with the Durham
breed
Wewent pretty much all over town, and 1t was
some muddy, too I tried to get the police to ar.
rest her, but they said we seemed to be making
good time and didn't interfere.
When got her In the stable she was almost a
trad 90 I mn nd I ofnbl r1o ~
was nearly dead, and didn't care very much II
never got any milk again.
Then my wife came out and inspected the COW
then she inspected me for minute and then ask.
ed what kind of a COW was that
"That cow" said I, gently pstting her-the COW
and then goinga little to one side to rub my
shin, against which the cows foot suddenly stop.
ped-"thst COW belongs to one OF the most famous
breeds in the country, and would sell on the
block at fifteen cents pound, even If It was all
cut to pieces, so the man said, and that COW weighs
fifteen hundred pounds! besides, its female COW,
and"
Fifteen hundred pouDdsI" exclaimed my wife.
"That COW won't weigh two hundred and fifty.
She ain't any thicker than fence with buffalo
robe thrown over It,"
WELL" said l. "the man told me that light
COW was better than fat one for milk" and then
the COW threw her head against my vest and
went over against my wife and she went against
the side Of the stable didn't feel very well, 80
l went to the house.
That evening fed her and found she hadn't
the dyspepsia. The man had been particular to
assure me she had not.
Then weut and got several buckets to hold the
mill hA runAH AHnn nnN md ahn tat
vorable to. also found the wooden pail was not
favorable for milking purposes, when rose up
from where last laid and found the pail all stove
up into staVes-she had lightly lifted her hind
foot. This is only in the way OF light remark,
understand.
After taking her foot out OF the next bucket,
which had little milk in 1t, took notion to
| tie her hind feet together which did with ropes
and went to milking with all my hands, when she
got unsteady and fell over on one side. She might
have hurt herself II hadn't happened to be Just
where she fell and found to my satisfaction that
COW was heavy responsibility for one man to
sustain. l felt completely cOwed.
MEwife hearing the entlcing tones Of my voice
came running out with the broom, and the irst
thing she did was to hit the COW with It, but missed
her and took me over the head She said she had no
time for apologies, but proceeded to unite the
cows feet and dragged me out, I was almost with
in few feet Of being dead, I went to the house
and laid down.
| didn't try to milk any more, for day or two,
which was all right anyway, as there was no milk.
In the mean time let. her out in the yard, one
morning, and 1t wasn't minutes before she made
a rush into the kitchen, and table full Of cook
ing utensils slipped off Its feet and went to the
floor with crash that suggested the fall OF the
Roman Empire. My wife fed up stairs to the gar
| ret ald there tainted.
But got the COW out Of the house finally, she
took after me, and as ran out she followed me.
It was un kline in that COW to act so. With great
difficulty and three Irishmen we got her into the
stable again, and she went TO eating.
Bnt am glad to say that haYe at last succeed.
ed in getting her under entire control. Just be-
fore go to milk her chloroform her, and she
goes TO sleep as gently as lamb.