The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-05-13
How d Married Woman Goes to Sleep.

titled, GLOW Girls Go to Sleep" The
manner in which they 20 to sleep, accord
ing to the article, can't hold candle te
the way a married woman goes to sleep
Instead of thinking of what she shoulo
have attended to before going to bed, she
thinks of it afterward. While she is re-
volving these matters in her mind, ano
while snugly tucked in bed, the old man
is scratching his legs in front of the fire
and wondering how be will pay the next
months rent. Suddenly she says:
"James, did you lock tie door 2"
(Which door ?"
"The cellar door," says she.
NO." says James.
"Well, you'd better 60 down and lock
it, for heard some one in the back yard
last night"
Accordingly, James paddles down stairs
and locks the door. About the time
james returns and is going to getinto bed
she remarks:
"Did you shut the stair door?"
"No," says James.
"Well, if it is not shut the cat will get
up into the bedroom"
"Let her come up, then," says James,
ill-naturedly
"My goodness, nop' returns the wife,
"she'd suck the baby's breath |"
Then James paddles down stairs again,
and steps on tack, and closes the stair
door, and curses the cat, and returns to
the bedroom. Just as he begins to climb
into his couch his wife observes:
II forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring some in the big
tin"
And so James, with q muttered curse,
goes down into the dark kitchen, and
falls over q chair, and rasps all the tin
ware off the wall, in search of the "big'
tin, and then he jerked the stair door
open and howls:
"Where the deuce are the matches ?"
She gives him minute directions where
to find the matches, and adds that she
would rather 60 and get the water her.
self than have the neighborhood raised
about it. After which James finds the
matches, procures the water, comes up
stairs, and plunges into bed. Presently
his wife says:
"James, let's have an understanding
about money matters. Now, next week
I've got to pay"-
II don't know what you've got to pay,
and don't care" shouts James, as he
lurches around and jams his face against
the wall; call want is to 60 to. sleep"
"That's all very we'll for you," snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers vicious.
ly, "you never think of the worry and
trouble have. And there's Aramenta,
who I believe is taking the measles"
"Let her take 'em," says James, stick
ing his legs out as straight as two RAM
rods.
"It seems to me you have no sense or
feeling" whines bis wife, land if you
had any respect for me you wouldn't eat
onions before you come to bed. The at.
mosphere of the room from the smell of
onions is horrid."
"Well, go down and sleepin the kitch-
en-, then, and let me Alone" says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly, but
about the time James is falling into a
gentle doze she punches him in the ribs
with her elbow, and says:
"Did you hear that scandal about Mrs.
Jones7"
"What Jones?" says James, sleepily.
"Why, Mrs. Jones'"
"Where ?" inquiries James.
IT declare" says his wife, "you are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No 81.
Well, day before yesterday, Susan Smith
told Mrs. Thompson that Sam Baker
had said that Mrs. jones had"-
Here she pauses and listens. James
is snoring in profound slumber. With q
sort of rage she pulls all the covers of
him, wraps herself up in them and lays
awake until a. m., thinking how badly
abused she is. And that is the way d
married woman goes to sleep.