New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-05-09
OUID4 on UTOGRAPH HUNTERS.
From Tie Whitehall Rerie,c.

Why do people want autographs
Why. If they do want them, should they thus I'M
blnShingly ask for themf
Why do they always commence their demands
with the assurance that they have an admirable
collection and only iack yours TO make it complete
cent to affirm that they have very great desire Tor
yOur signature. and thereupon expect y0u TO fulfil
their desire by writing TO Box 400,0OO,0OO, Oregon
CITY, l.. :. A., or the wilds of COnnemsra, or the
heights of the Himalayas, or the remOtest settle
ment on tile remote 1afra farraf ;do,. .s Mr.
b. e. or Mr. Y. T. H.. sitting on his 0tice-stOol or by
ms parlor fire, think that because romance has
thrilled poem enchained him. a history ~
Struced or q satire diverted him. that he has forth
with the right to sit down and say to the novelist
OF poet, the historian or satirist, Sign yom name,
and put it i'm an envelope and post 1t TO meW
The autograph hunter always begins with this
set phrase, You vii! greatly ohlige me IL" etc.
efS e%t 6 e yea tell e wy s
should Obhge you y Wbyi do not
fOw r 6 h1aS S Sf des IL
able person. You have read my books; well. that
is your gain, not mine; what have you done tor me
that should be at the pains Of sending yen my sig
naturei Why should my time which IS full OF
much more agreeable occupations, be taken mp by
scrawDg my name on square pieces OF card for
warded 10 me for that purpose by hundreds of men
and women annually, who have DO sort OF claim on
me, whose very existence is unknown to me, and
who generally add insult to injury by enclosing
stampsi
Once was interviewed by an American gentle
man. who sOlemnly sat down before me, put on
at these preparations, said very sOlemnly "These
glasses have microscopic and telescope power;
they reveal the mlnutest defect in the human coun-
tenance." Another American gentleman got pre-
scntatiOn to me from common friend aud,
proving in very sooth wolf in lambs clothing.
traitOrOnsy published an account Of hls visit, IN
which lie described my servants as arrayed In sky
blue hveries and myself in dlaphanous white robes
But these fortunes each of them gros lot and
came but once in lifetime. The autograph huaa-
ers are a myriad, numerous as the rats in Venice,
Unsuitable as the zaDzar in Naples.
never answer them, unless they be persons OF
whom know something. / am grown callous to
their cries open the envelopes, some one opens
them for me, aud when the intOlerable nature OF
their contents is revealed they go into the fire.
The collecting of autographs has become maDia
as the collecting Of postage stamps was with Eton
boys dozen years ago; but fear it will not die
a natural death quickly as that other innocent
insanity did II is II very cheap form Of collectingj
it cost nothing but an envelope and the postage OF
it; these anglers tor autographs bait with minnows
and may catch king salmon. BY perpetually wor-
rying they often succeed In getting what they
wish, even from very eminent men, and ii has cost
them nothing except little impudence and post
age stamp. have always regretted the encourage
ment great man Us Alr. Gladstone has given TO
these mosquitoes Of the post. Why does be answer
his correspondents lie only loses his dignity aud
RrltItcs those W hO are not wort Rratlfyinv