The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1880-10-30
FUNNYGRkPHS.

WELL DRILLED-The oil region.
The Turkish position ross-legged
IT'S poor grocer who let's his sugar
get too dry.
KEEP to the write, said Il lawyer to
his lazy clerk. -StcubcnyiUe Hcraid.
CHEsTNUrs don't have wings, but are
sort of burred-like.- BOStOR Port.
4 JERSEY" may be lady's jacket. a
kind of COW or brand of lightning.
ONO is the only state that is round At
both ends and "hi " in the middle,
THh Chinese in San Francisco caD
Talmage All Chin Museek.-( hic@Qo
Times.
PINAFORE is well known in Utah. The
song, "Tne Marry, Marry Maiden, is
extremely popular.
The author Of the song, Il give the
avl, | can no more, was probably
shoemaker.
my burden is light, remarked the
little man carrying big torch i'll the
procession.
WHEN trains are teIescoped the poor
passengers see stms.-Nc1c orleans
Pic0Yu15c.
A MAN is "perfcct brick when Ia,
shows himself all the better for being
hard-pressed
"MANY are called but few are chosen"
Ito occupy political otfice.-Hdrtt"rd
Htnlday JOUIU0.
The reason men succeed who mind
their own business IS because there IL 81
little competition in that line.
.l,,, I-,,,r- J,,,o,-a-.s
never make bulls; they do all the gorjng
hemselves-LOaccU citizen.
TINS is a good season Of the year to
begin practicing upon the almost " lost
art " OF shutting the doors after you.
WHAT'L the use of a family hanging
"God Bless Our Home on the wall ard
then disputing as to who made high jack
BABY. new to earth and sky.
Soon as born begins to cry.
Day and night does baby yell,
And makes its daddy mad as-wcl,
Mad anything.
SULTAN: Oh That is the naval
demonstration Very nice! Highly
creditable to the powers, I'm sure.
Wonder If they'll give us any tireworks?'
-FunnY FO{k&.
SHORT POEM.
Canto One Canto Two
Boy. Gun
Gun; Burst:
Joy. Boy.
Fun. Dust
-ROckidRd CoHfis,.
Not quite what he meant, though
NIilkman: TEL your mother she'll
hay ter pay ready money fur milk in
future; | amt agoin' to chalk up any
more" Boy: "What are yer agoing
to use lnstid then, Mr. Simpson p
/ Fun.
I DoCToR-' Oh, there you are, Smith?
How's the wife? Farmer: "Wuss, Tm
afeard sir q Doctor: " indeed Is she
wandering 2" Farmer: "No, no, she's
! sensible That's what I'm afeard Of !
never knowed her so sensible She's
onnatrally sensible!'
A CERTAIN English general, being at
the point OF death, opened his eyes, ana
seeing q consultation of four physicians
who were standing close by his bedside
family exclaimed, " Gentlemen II you
/ fire by platOOns it's all over with me,
and instantly expired.
4 TROY youth snapped bean from a
window. 1t struck man ON the nose
He jumped and knocked down woman,
who broke an arm and caused horse to
run away and fatally iniure itself. Had
the boy thrown grindstone the results
would not have been more disastrous. -
. Detroit Free Frt$&.
4 BALTIMORE paper says 1T is very
bad form for gentlemen III society to talk
of money matters. We suspect the
Baltimore editor met his tailor in society,
and was asked by the etiquette smasher
when it would be convenient for him to
pay for his last suit of clothes. Nor,
Her0fd
A FRENCH correspondent says the ma
iority Of the American people will b.
disappointed in Sara Bernhard A
tickets will lee worth $500 each, it If
very probable there Will be considerable
disappointment. John Smith says he is
convinced his girl will be disappointed,
OIL CitY Derrick.
Summing Up. Captain What
the charge. sergeant ?" Sergeant
This time II Is drunkenne IS. sir. But
this man is the most troublesome fellow
in the regiment, sir. He goes out when
be likes, and comes III when ne likes, and
gets drunk when he likes; III fact, NJ
might be horticerr Pmch
"IT is said that the ministers oi
Rochester have resolved to marry nobodN
for less fee than s.. " But won't the
make liberal reduction to club Of 81
and upwards? 1t was real mean to rals'
the price during leap year, when tD'
Young lady is expected to do both pop
ping and paying. NorriStorft Hef"eo'
The Most Distressful Count1e.
Bridget "Baby's looking well, Mr7,
Mulligan" Mrs. Mulligan $50 =
ought, bedad. Sbure it's a lucky chim'
Ii isn't livery baby that has the good foi
tune to be born on the same nolght ma
its father shoots his landlord, and cue