The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1880-11-03
FLOATING FANOIES,

FLOATING FANUIES.
There was a young man Of Laporte,
Whose legs were exceedingly short;
So he saids"I will bet
The first cent I can get
That walk to the Rio del Norte.n
1t was on account of his being turned
to grass that he was called .tNip-a-oa
nezzar."
Balloonists say that when at the height
two miles they have heard women call
over the back fence to borrow hat-irons y
starch. /
The custom-house officers in New Y
carefully inspect the inside Of fishing ri
Sara Bernhardt can't slip into the counI
in that fashion.
Victor Hugo's new poem is to app
on the 10Th and will be called ssL'Ame1l
The Soul" The Paris papers graceful
announced it as s'L'Ane"-the ASS
Boy (to lady teacher)-s'There's a gal d
there a Winkin' at me ?" Teacher-"Wa
then, don't look at her" Boy-s'But il
don't look at her, she'll wink at somebd
else 2"
"You wouldn't take q mans last cent fof
cigar, would you ?" :Certainly I Would
remarked the proprietor. "Well, here it
Them" passing over a cent, ''giVe me !
cigar"
Rev. DR.. Hall said every blade of err
was a The next day he was am
ing himself by clipping his lawn, when
parishoner said ''That's right, doctor. G
your sermons short" 1
When an Indian doctor has lost five u
tients, the survivors Of the tribe send af5
him after them to see what has become !
them. After all, the Indians would Id
some advantages by civilization. \
There was an old lady Of Warren,
A traveller stepped on her corren;
She tottered and reeled,
And hollered and squealed,
And wished she had never been borren.
Recorder-"You are very young to
stealing for q living. Are you going to ma
that your profession? q "Yes, sir; my i
ther wants me to learn the rudiments ,hd
oughly before [ run for office in Galveston
-GU10eston NeWs.
It was at a Galveston hotel table that
child attracted considerable attention be sal
ing repeatedly :-"I want q cake" ''Yd
have had five or six already" replied Il
mother. "Them's not the ones I want.
want a fresh one"
st say, Paddy, that is the worst-looki1
horse you drive I ever saw. Why don't u
fatten him up ~ ssFatten him up is it? Fai1
the poor basic can hardly carry the little ma
that's on him now" replied Paddy.
It is reported that when w. Ell. English,
Indiana, Democratic candidate for Vic
President, learned Of the great Democrat
defeat in his own State last Tuesday,
brought down his fist and exclaimed: :
would not have had this happen for a dc
lar"
A Lutte with soft, insidious tWang-
oh. how the doting lover sang!
A Bulldog, with Remorseless Fang
Nip, a Grip, a Deathly Pang.
A Maiden with a startled Glance
A Shrieking for deliverance-
A kind of weird, hilarious dance
A Pair of Riyen, Doeskin Pants.
The Mobile Register, forgetting election
past, nor needing those to come, looking NJ
Their to the right nor to the left, vehement
rises to the top Of its editorial column
warn young men predisposed to commit mf
rimony that an $4,000 bonnet has appear,
in that city.
Mile. x waits one morning in vain for Il
arrival of her old music teacher. At last /
little daughter makes Der appearance IN /
stead, and says: Mama sends me to 81
that she hopes you will xcuse papa fro
coming to give his lesson this morning, b
cause he's dead
A countryman, walking along the streets
q town, found his progress stopped bya clio
barricade of timber. "What is that for
he inquired of a person in the street, "OI
that is to stop the cholera "Ah! that's i
I have often heard of the board Of health, b
I never saw it before"
Sorry the lot Of the candidate,
Heavy the heart that can'tbe certain,
After its tedious watch and wait
What fate conceals behind the curtain: