The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1880-10-27
FLOATING FANOTES,


The Poet sings on the plain,
The Trader tolls IN the mart;
One enyies the others gain,
One stares at the others art.
Yet each one reaches his goal,
And the Critic sneers as they pass,
And each Of the three in his soul
Believes the other an ASS!
Bret Hagte
The Polish legion-the bootbIack brigade.
Time may fly, but the spring chicken never
grows old.
The man who has acorner IN pork should
be made to squeal.
Never bother 8 tailor long at . time. He
may have pressing business to attend TO.
A Chicago man married bis mother-in-law
80 that he could i've with his wife in peace.
Sixteen seaside dailies can suspend publica-
ton IN one day and net jar the north pole
CH5c.
No man, while board-fence advertising IS
popular, will ever be allowedto forget that he
has a liver.
We presume the catfish is so called because
no one was ever lucky enough to kill one
with q boot-jack.
a lady FOX the first time listening to a tele-
phoae remarked, s'Good gracious !! It sounds
like ones conscience!'
THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.
have learned the fastest dances,
And I've caught the baby stare,
And throw about my chances,
With the very ne west air:
I've been taught the Lengtry giggIe,
Which gives SO much g chic" to talk,
And the Sara Bernhardt wriggle, .M.
And the Lady Lonsdale walk. Chic.
Grace (Whispering)-ssWhat lovely boots
your partners got, Mary!" Mary (dittol
Eyes; unfortunately he shines at the wrong
end.
The Philadelphia young man may not be
plucking the fairest flower Of England by
marrying Coutts, but he secures the biggest
plum.
Two urchins who played Escaping from
the wreck" by using their mothers holiday
dough trough for a life-boat, were lashed TO-
gether.
ST. Julien is expected next year to attain
a speed so terrific that 3 track will be neces-
sary to prevent bis running into the rear Of
his sulky.
Young Fred, a bashful get persistent swain,
Was much in love with Mary Jane.
One night she told him il her tendereBt tone,
at Is not good for man to be alone"
Said Fred, 'tJustso, you darling little elf;
I've often thought Of that same thing myself
Then said the lass, while Fred was Ill agog,
You d better buy yourself q terrier dog
There is only one man out Of every $40
who can dropa lead nickel into Il church con-
tribution box without giving himself away by
swallowing a lump il his throat.
Mackey, the California king, has an IN
come Of only $25 q minute, andthat's the rea-
son he will hunt for half an hour when he
loses a nickel on the floor Of a street car.
A Southern paper inquiries IL there IS any
thing as political candor. We have
seen politicians call each other liars, and seem
to be as candid as men possibly could be.
An Ohio father got drunk in order to show
his sons what a spectacle o drunken man
When they saw how jolly and
good natured he was, the whole family, in
the old woman, followed suit.
The following message was sent by q dro-
yer to a butcher recently: II have all hogs
at yard and waiting for you. II you want
cattle think of me. Can't come until to-
for they don't take any cattle on
trains
Was it a Wailing bird of the gloom
Which shrieks on the house of woe all night?
Or a shivering fend that flew to q tomb
10 howl and feed till the glance Of light?
Twas not the death-birds cry from the wood,
Nor shiVering fend that hung in the blast:
Twas only my night-shirt, stout and good
And it tapped on the line as the storm rode past.
An AWh WARD Compliment.
The Empress Marie Louise had never
oeen popular in Paris, as Josephine was to
he last, nor lad she the fine instincts which
10 especially distinguished the first eonsort Of
Napoleon, VIC was. indeed, his better an
,el. For example: One day Napoleon, nav.
ng been provoked By her father, the Empe-
or Of Austria, declared to Marie Louise that
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