Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-06-24
A Rich Hat Story.
rom the Little Rock Gazette.

From the Little Rock Gazette.
Probably the meapest trick that
was ever played on white man
was played last week 10 this city,
and the fact that there is no vigil
ance committee here is the only
reason the perpetrators of the trick
are alive. A business man had pur-
chased q new stiff hat, and he went
into saloon with half dozen
friends to fit the hat on his head.
They all took beer, and passed the
hat around so all could see it. One
of the meanest men that ever held
a country Office went to the bar.
tender and had q thin slice of linn.
berger cheese cut off, and when the
party were looking at the fresooed
ceiling through beer glasses, this
wicked person slipped the cheese
under the sweat leather of the hat,
and the man put it on and walked
out. The man who owned the hat
is one of our nervous people, who is
always complaining of being sick,
and who feels as though some dread.
tul disease was going to take posses
sion of him and carry him off. He
went back to his place OF business,
took off his hat and laid it on the
table, and proceeded to answer
some letters. He thought he de.
tected smell, and when his part
ner asked him if he didn't feel sick,
he SAID he believed he did A clerk
said 1t was evident that somebody's
feet needed washing. The man
turned pale, and said he guessed he
would go home.
He met a man on the sidewalk
who said the air was full of miasma,
and in the street.car q man who sat
next to him moved away to the end
of the car, and asked him if he had
just come from Chicago. The man
with the hat said he had not, when
the stranger said they were having
a great of smallpox there, and he
guessed he would get out and walk,
and he pulled the bell and jumped
off. The cold perspIration broke
out on the forehead of the man with
new hat. and he took it off to wipe
his forehead, when the whole piece
OF choese seemed to roll over and
breathe, and the man got the full
benefit OF it, and he came near faint
ing away. He got home and his
wife met him and asked him what
was the matter. He said he bellev.
cd modification bad set in, and she
took one Whit, as be took off his
hat and she said she should think it
had. "Where did you get into it"
Said the man, 81 have not got into
any thing, but some deadly disease
has got hold of me and | shall not
live." She told him that if any di.
sease that smelled like that had got
hold of him. and was to be chronic.
she felt as though he would BIO a
burden to himself if he lived very
long. She got his clothes of, soaked
his feet in mustard water, and he
slept. The hat was lying on the
center table, and the children would
come in and get smell of it and
look at each other with reproaohful
glances, and go out ond play. The
man slept and dreamed that email
pox flag was hung out in front of
his house, and that he was riding In
a butcher wagon to the pest house
The woman sent for doctor, and
when the man of pills arrived she
told him all about the case The
doctor picked up the patients new
nat, tried it on, ard got Whit. He
said the hat was picked before twas
ripe. The doctor and wife held a
post-mortem examination of the
hat, and found the slice Of linn berger.
"Few aud short were the prayers
they said" They woke the patient,
and to prepare his mind for the rev.
citation that was about to DO made,
the doctor asked him if his worldly
affairs were in satisfactory condi.
ton. He gssped and said they were.
The doctor asked him if he made
his will, He said he had not, but
that he wanted lawyer sent for at
once. The doctor asked him if be
felt as though he was prepared to
shuttle off
The man said he had always tried
TO lead a different life. and had tried
to be done by the same as he would
do it himself, but that he might
have made mistake some way, and
that he would like to have a minis
ter sent for to take an account of
stock.
Then the doctor brought to the
bedside the hat, opened up the
sweat leather and showed the dying
man what it was that smelled so,
and told him he was as we'll as any
man in the city. The patient pinohed
himself to see il &c was alive. and
then jumped out of bed and called
for his revolver, and the doctor
couldn't keep up with him on the
way down town. The last we saw
of tho odoriferous citizen he was
trying to bride the bartender to tell
him which one of those pelicans it
was that put that slice of cheese in
his hat-lining,
THE oldest newspaper in the
world is the Pekin Gazette, the organ
of. the Chinese government. How
long il has been in existence is not
known; but long before printing