The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1880-04-20
SECURITY AGAINST FOOLS

American citizen Is the right to bear
arms and this right we defend. What
We would propose, however, in the inter
est of public and private security is
the regulation of the matter of shot
guns pistols, muskets, rifles, fowling
pieces, etc., and why notH Clocks are
regulated, and for that matter so are
some of the very best families. How
could there be well-regulated families if
it were not soH Peoples livers are often
regulated, and so is the liquor business
and the tariff on pig iron and paper
pulp and even Congress itself would be
regulated if anybody knew how to go
at it. We, therefore, repeat the ques-
ton, why should not guns and pistols
be regulated as well? 1t is melancholy
to look over our exchanges and find that
most of the unfortunate people of this
country who get badly killed or at least
wounded, do so by the careless use Of un-
loaded firearms.
These invariably go of and hurt some
one when your playful small boy or fa-
cetious young man, or frisky young lady
or dunder-headed friend points the muz-
zle at you, or the pious young person of
the picnic or the neghborhood or of the
Sunday-school, and, presto, everybody
says 81 told you So" while the blubber-
ing assassin has nothing to say except
that he did not know it was loaded.
Can't the fool be made to understand
that if the thing had been loaded it
never would have gone off at allH The
cap would not have exploded under
these circumstances; the powder in the
cartridge would have been wet or the
cartridge-maker would have forgotten to
put in any ball at all, or the trigger
would not have operated, or the hammer
would have stuck fast, or if they had ev-
cry one of them operated, the barrel
would have exploded and blown off two
fingers and singed the eye-winkers to a
crisp on the face of the fellow trying to
persuade the internal thing to 60 off.
Nobody ever heard of loaded revolver
or double-barreled shotgun shooting
when aimed at chap in duel or at a
burglar or at mad dog, but if it did it
usually hit the surgeon or bystander
or somebody across the street or around
the corner; but unloaded guns and pis-
tolls invariably do 60 off, and just as in
varably kill the flower of the family.
What we are therefore coming at is
this: Let some of our great statesmen
who are all the while dying to introduce
bill that nobody wants passed and that
never does pass, let these great states
men, or say one of them, frame a law
that Furnishes with five hundred or one
thousand years in bastile any Ameri-
can citizen, native or naturalized, wheth-
er of African descent or otherwise, who
shall hereafter keep any unloaded gun,
pistol, fusee, rife, musket, fowling- piece,
Parrott gun, rifed cannon, boot-jack,
blunderbuss or other deadly weapon dur
ing five consecutive minutes in his her
or its house, cabin, wood-shed, smoke
house, barn, stable, corn crib or shebang,
after the passage of this wholesome and
iudicious law. This will make it obliga.
tory upon the owners of all shooting
irons, of whatever nature, that they
charge these up to the muzzle with vii
lainous saltpetcr, and thenceforward lit
Gle innocent babes may point the harm
less instruments aforesaid at their play
mate without risk or danger, while un
5 suspecting American citizens may wall
5 the streets henceforth foreyer withou
danger of having an unanticipated ven
r tilator put into their plug hat, or
, charge of bird-sbot lodged in the regiol
, of the claw-hammer continuation of thei
! Sunday coat. Speed the happy da.
t when this wise law shall be enacted.