The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1880-08-10
Garden Sass.
New Haven Register


The sun had not risen to kiss the dew
from of the emerald green Of early vegeta-
tiop ere there was an unusual stir in Mr..
Smiley's back garden. The members Of the
Kol. |. X. Society were enjoying CONFER.
sazione matinee, and garden "sass" was
quite sharp and plentiful.
Colonel Green Corn gracefully waved the
members to quiescence, remarking that he
was triGe husky and would like to be ex-
cused from making an extended speech.
He hoped be bad accomplished something
IN the good work OF the Society, although
it frequently got him into hot water and
caused gnawiug sensation next his heart
OF hearts in short, bis cob.
'Spoken IN his own soft, SILKY way"
remarked little Curly Cucumber As he
peeped timidly from beneath a dew-be-
sprinked leaf.
"No interruptions from you, my seedy
little FRIEND" remarked the chairman.
"Oh, Get up on your ear, yOn lively old
spinder," said Curly Gu. This bit OF
slang was greeted with enthusiastic APP
plause from the entire congregation.
Gentlemen" interrupted big Ben Wa
termel0D, cit appears TO me that Colonel
Corn stalking too much. Laughter lie
NAV have caused some woe to the human
system, against which we all combine, but
watermelon chOlic record l bave. (Cres
OF 'Give us something fresh and general
disorder.| Where he has slain thousands
have made millions weep, sent them to
watery grave"
at this point the chairman raped to or
der. "This discussion is too personal alto
gether," he said; "we have a friend here
from Boston who in the vegetable race al
ways has the pole (applausel. and who will
favor us with bis views on tue climb 1t. L
have the honor to introduce the Hon. Lima
Bean, ESQ.,"
After wild scene Of confusion and cries
Of Platform. get him on a string" ETC.,
MI. Bean remarked in wheezy tone,
- Gentlemen, your chairman, whom j have
often met in Succotasb, Ct, and myself have
labored together for the success Of the kol.
/. h. Society. With what success the
graveyards Of the land show. We make the
best acrobatic seng-and-dance team for
doubling up hayward man ever known.
fCheers and cries OF Hear hear. Indeed
| have certificate to that effect in my best
pod pocket from DR.. Carminatiye. But L
wish to suggest that those members OF our
Society, Mr.. ID. Beet, Early Potato, White
Turnip, and others, who have done fltte or
nothing for It's good, should be dropped
-v
That's what | call going TO the root OF
the matter" suggested Early Cucumber.
who was immediately irowned upon for
such levity by big Ben Watermelon, who
had the same remark.at his hearts core.
There was good deal OF cOmmotion on
the lower benches, c0nsulfatlon oi the
root.crJps was held, and the potato was APP
pointed to keep an eye on the proceedings.
At this point Knurly Green Apple drop
ped off his seat on an upper limb, and, roll
ing to good position in the centre aisle.
spoke, al twig, Mr. Chairman, but | hope
for some recognition. The Kol. /. Il. Soci-
ety would have been worse than useless had
not brought my cramps to bear In its be-
half"
"Sit down Sit down." said Summer
Squash, who was turning yellow with rage,
"You only attack the young and innocent.
You are not honorable enough to attack
lfull-grown man, and it Is only by your
smooth cheek that you get your work in on
the small boy"
The apple blushed prematurely at this
home thrust, and was about to reply when
Mr.. Smiley came into the garden and picked
him up and threw him into bis market wa
gon, where, in company with Colonel Green
Corn. Hon. Pole Bean. Esq, big Ben Wa
termelon, little Curly Cucumber, and all the
Root family, he was driven of to market and
the real work OF the KOl ]. X. Society.