The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-24
LEAPaYEAIs LAW.
LEGAt PROVISIONS FOR THE YOUNG WOMAN
TROUBLED WITH BEAU WHO
WILL NOT POP.

WILL NOT PoP.
Girls, this is Leap Year Now Is you
chance. Tempus. .fugit. twill be four year
before Leap Year turns up again and i
may be forever to your matrimonial hopes
The manner Of securinga masculine attach
ment is very simple, and the world is full o
gudgeons who swallow smirksand smiles
bait with as much delight as the whale tool
Jonah in out of the deep waters. In the
chivalrous days Of Merrie England there wa
enacted law that made liberal provision
for young women troubled with young men
who would spark but never blaze into pro.
posal. In Colonial times this law was in.
corporated in the statute books Of Penn't
Colony, and there it still reposes, unrestrict-
ed in its application to modern cases of long
drawn-out courtship.
Stripped of its almost impenetrable cloak
of legal verbiage and old English, it is found
to contain these provisions for "ye maydns
and spinsters" who seek redress under "ye
act of yo Leap Year"
Any girl who has sat every night until 12
o'clock since the last Leap Year with the
same young man, eating 25-cent candy, has
an inalienable right to pop the question
Should the same girl devote all Sunday aE-
ternoon to the same young man, and feed
him literally and frequently during this
period, his refusal to take her makes him
liable TO be fined and incarcerated in the
deepestdungeon beyond the moat.
AS dungeons and moats were never i'm
ported to this Land Of the Free,we must men
tally substitute tha House of Correction and
Pennypack Creek.]
If it can be shown that any "maydn" be-
tween the ages of SO and so on has for the
said period Of time wiz since the last Leap
Year, focused her affections on any certain
particular young man-that she has dill
gently sought to keep and hold him by divers
means known to the sex, and striven to
kindle the ardent flames in his bosom
can, under the provisions of this act drag the
SAID hardened young man to the nearest
Magistrate and give him the choice of sup
porting her for life as her lawful husband OF
'enlisting in the service Of his Gracious Ma
jesty the King.
doing service for the King is sheer non
sense. The way to do it now is to snatch
the young man by the lapel of his Ulster
and give him the choice Of taking you or
parting with his garment. In nine cases out
ten he will save his Ulster and take you. As
the divorce lawyers put it, this will prevent
the publicity of going before Magistrate.1
If the young lady cannot muster courage,
this antique law clothes the parent with ccr-
tain powers. Any time during Leap Year
he is privileged to drop in on The young man
at any hour Gt makes no difference whether
the young man is weighing the old mans
darling on his knee or is glued TO her side by
a cramp in the ARM and say to him:
"Young fellow, biz is biz. There is my
lovely daughter. Here is lovely bill for
"Sixteen gross of Candlcsj
eight cords of Wood
"Four dozen Gate Hinges;
"Two hundred and twenty Mealsj
"Three Carpets
"Sx Chairs;
Seventeen Dresses;
Fourteen Doctor Billsj
"Loss of Sleep;
Grads on the Kitchen
"Hair Oil;
"Perfumery;
"Powder;
"Paint;
"Patience-
used and consumed by you and that girl,
during this courting spell. Which will you
take ?"
The modern degenerate young man would
no doubt close solemnly his of-eye at par
ent and remark:
"Biz is biz, old man--but, knock off the
candle charge; no light, you know,for three
years. Cut down that fire bill one third
we have been too snug TO use much heat.
Substitute sliding down baluster for gate
hinges. And, as for chairs that's sheer ex-
tortion one chair for two has been the rule.
But give fellow six or eight months to
think it over and I'll LEI you know"
Indulgent parent, beware
Tender hearted female, nail him
Do not falter.
Pop the question at once.
If he declines, fire him out