The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-09-18
The Village Hotel Vsranda.

Aho SlhNDO 11Obel SOrNnOR.
M. Quad says, after supper we march into
the office in Indian file, arm ourselves with
poplar toothpicks, and then all march out
and take seats on the hotel veranda and
hold convention. II you have never
taken part in one Of these gatherings Oh the
the veranda Of a village hotel you have
missed good thing. The audience in
cludes every phase of humane nature phil
osopher could wish for, including the liar.
l do not mean the old-blooded. malicious
liars, but the liar who is determined to make
time pass pleasantly to all listeners.
have always appreciated and defended this
class of mon.
The discussion usually opens between tho
village blacksmith and farmer, and 1t
starts on the weather.
The blacksmith asserts that we have had
too much rain. Tho farmer can't agree.
The undertaken. who used to farm it, then
joins in with the remark that he has seen
seasons when we had more rain, and seasons
when we DIDN'T have as much. This calls
out the shoemaker, who can remember one
year when it didn't rain from the goth of
March to the lst Of October. While he is
trying to remember what year it was, tho
cooper tilts back his chair and asserts that
rained every day from the 1st Of May to the
middle Of November. He can remember
it all the moro distinctly because his father
believed tina oecond deluge was coming,
and spent tw, months trying to make
watertight Noah's ark Of the horse barn.
lie can't tell the exact year without footing
it distance Of six miles to examine somo
old documents, but rather than have his
word disputed lie would willingly go to
that trouble. No one doubts him, however,
| and he sits down to give room to the man
whose 3-ycsr old colt has been impaled on
fepce-stake, and who wants a cure for
| the wound. Hero follows o discussion on
horses, lasting fifteen minutes, aud 1t is
| about to cross the line and take up mules
when an old man spits over the heads Of
three boys in line and says:
81 don't know much about hosses, but if
| had one, and he should drive q fence-stake
| clear through him, believe should grease
the stake and pick of the sllvers before
pulled it out l tell ye, horses can't stand
| everything, no moIe'n man can"
Whatever now discussion might be crea-
| ted by this bold assertion is barred by tho
appearance Of villager who made the trip
| to California IN overland days. No one
knows just how much money he brought
back. The estimate runs all the way from
two shillings to $40, 900, but he Is discreetly
| silent as to the exact amount. There is
one thing certain, however. Ho killed
upwards of fifty Indians, a dozen grizzly
bears, and over hundred buffaloes while
he was gone, and that settles the question
Of his being entitled to command the pa
radc on the Fourth of July. A move is
about to be made to draw him out on wild
Western scenes, when somebody suddenly
recolects that old Uncle Jerry is lying at
the point of death. Everybody seems to
feel bad for moment, and then it il re-
membcrd how ho made his wife go baretooted
in winter, lent money at fourteen per cent,
and whipped yoke of steers to death and
the tide slowly turns. There is one ques-
ton, however, on which we all agree. Uncle
jerry, during his palmy days. once shoul-
dercd barrel of cider and carried 1t forty
rods.
eyes, and l seed him do it," slghs the
old man behind me. ''Fact Of it was, it
was all on my account, und beat him pretty
bad. l was up to Fuller's cider-mill arter
a barrel OF the sweet, when Uncle Jerry
came along with bouncing 3-year old
steer. We got bantering, and wo finally
agreed that if could lift his steer I was to
| naFc llul anu Ao "tS W nave Ihe ClueE ii
he could shoulder it. l don't keer to brag
around now in my old age, but l think l
lifted that steer without even CROWN red In
the face. Uncle Jerry turned as white as
a sheet, and thought he'd faint away, but
ho stuck to his word and I took the steer
hum. He got heap o'credit all over the
'country for liftin' that cider, and never let
on thai lifted that steer, and that's one
l'vo kinder laid up agin the old man."
1t now comes my trlyn to lie, and l do my
level best on whaling adventure. Then
the next man lies about the >number of
CROWS ho saw in Kansas, and 30 we GO ON
until it Is sharp 10 o'clock and the mosqui-
toes hunger for evening lunch. Then We
bid each other goodnight and separate to
meet to lie again. never had such good
time in my life.