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The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
JEALOUssOF THE BOON.
AN INDIGNATION MEETING ON sHIPBoARD.

The different parts of a ship that had re-
Gently arrived from long voyage, held
convention the other day, to inquire into
the reason why the "boom" had come into
so much greater prominence and notoriety
Of late than any other portion of the vessel.
The main mast was chosen President of the
meeting, and the top mast Secretary, be-
cause it has pennon hand for just such oc-
casiots. In taking the chair the main mast
said he was astonished, as he presumed his
mates were, TO find that the boom, an infer
ior portion of a ships spars, had been pro-
NOTED over the heads of them all. There
was nothing in the papers but boom, boom,
and he would like to know what it all
meant. He had himself stood up through
all sorts Of weather and was about as square
rigged as fellow could be, but no such
honors had ever been conferred upon him,
He had looked for some words of disapprov-
al from the Captain, but not a syllable as
yet. "How," said he, "can the capstan it?"
perhaps" interrupted fellow at the
bow, "it is joke on the boom-they are
simply rigging it," but as he was only a
figure head anyhow, and half seas over, no
attention was paid to the remark
Bowsprit said he hadn't much time to
spar, but was willing to form one of COM
mittee Of investigation to look into the
thing. "If the boom is anyways to blame
in the matter" he continued, why don't ye
anchor to the bottom of the sea and have
done with III"
"Yes," came Voice from neighboring
yard, "keelson- of-a-sea-do dook-overboard -
But no one sailed in, all apparently feel
would do it than they. The wheel put in a
word. He said he didn't know what fhult
could be found with the boom by such rake
of a mast as the chairman of the meeting
notoriously was. His goings-on were enough
to make gun-wale. His breast hook fire
when he thought about it. Wasn't he stand
ing rigging everything about him, giving
them gaf. and never luffing his neighbors
alone? And didn't he stand by sailors that
could lie by the yardH "Now," said he, in
conclusion, "if anybody Is going to super
sede the boom nominate the ships Tim"
"Who is the ships Tim ?" yelled a score
of voices.
"Why, the ships timbers, Of cutirsej" said
the wheel, and never spoke again.
A top gallanbroyal drunk who had been
mizzen up to this time, addressing his broth
er spars, said he never came cross-trees that
behaved as they did. Ifthey didn't shut up
he would drive the whole gang-waY. "Such
a meeting as this matches nothing but strife" ,"
said he. "But il the boom must go let the
maln Bob stay, together with Hans Pike,
Ham Mock and Hal Yards" He wasn't
afeared 10 tackle block-heads.
just then the cook stuck his head out Of
the galley and yelled, "Duff sed 70 and the
meeting adjournd. In the meantime the
boom boometh boomingly.-c Cincinnati Sat
| ttrddV Niqht
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
If not paid in advance, $1.25.

and help lay out the bummers7 Forbid me
to bo present at pole raisingp
"or dog fght," put in the boy.
IA dog flght--yesl That's direct in
suit, that is That's es much as TO say Pm
in the habit Of patrUhising such things, and
feel the INSULT"
"or, If it is found that the insured delib-
erately, lied, }" continued the boy, Cor"
Deliberately lied, ehl That's another
insult. They think I'd tell b bold lie, do
theyT
"And it is expressly stipulated that no
bald-headed man who insures III this COM
pany shall use bar soap to wash his scalp"
said the boy.
"Does that policy read that wayl Why,
it's succession of Internal personal insults
Bar soap on my scalpl Why, I'd kill the
person who undertook to soap-suds my
badness That insurance company must
be set of lunatics. What other insults
haye they there2"
"And the insured snail go before notary
public or justice of the peace and make oath
that neither of his parents have ever been
regular inmate Of lunatic asylum for over
three months IN year"
"By gum p exclaimed the old man as he
put his foot down--"that's rather too much.
| suppose that life insurance company has
a perfect right to protect ITSELF but when it
intimates that my father was fool and my
mother lunatic is more than can stand.
John, fold that policy and put it in my
overcoat pocketl"
The next morning the tow headed boy
was Oh the eight o'clock train. 80 was his
father. The life-insurance agent got OH at
crossing, jammed the boys hat over his
eyes as he pushed in, and seeing his rpa-
tieht" at the front end of the car he crowded
forward and said:
"Good morning. Glad to see you look
ing so we'll. Did the conditions of the policy
please you ?"
"Mr. Blank" replied the citizeny as he
handed out the document, "here's your
policyl Keep it'll l don't want it'll
won't have it,"
"But-," began the astonished and fro
zen agent.
The other rose up, rang the bell and got
off the car, followed by his son John, whose
sad eyes seemed to be gazing at something
far away, and whose mouth was puckered
into most solemn and sedate looking big
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
ATtiN-ACfsE WIFE.

Yesterday Soloman Glass, a colored man
whose experience in agricultural pursuits,
has enlightened his neighborhood, came to
town with a view of getting divorce from
his wife. When asked upon what grounds,
he replied:
"suflicient Is de grounds of dis occasion.
When rented 10 acres and worked one
mule, married oman suitable for de oc-
casioh. Now 1 rent 60 acres of lam and
work five mules. My fust wife is a mighty
good ten-acre wife, but she don't suit de oc-
casion OBJ 60 acres. needs oman what
can spread more"
When told by a lawyer that the grounds
were not sufficient, he remarked:
al kin produce do histry to show whar
Pm careok, Use learned man and can read
clar aroun' de majority OBJ colored gentlemen
an great many white fcllers. De reasons
belongs ter de French histry, an though
doesn't speak French, I talks about it. YOU
know Napoleon fust married Josephine do
Beaucharis"
eyes," said the lawyer, "but you may be-
come trihe too historically opulent if you
proceed much farther"
"Dat's all right. An You know dat when
he got to de head OBJ de Gubernment, an
had charge oh all de cummsseries, he want
ed wife what could spread more, an he
got adispensation from Josephine and hitch-
ed onto Marie Louisa, case she could spread
more. Dar's de histry, an dar's dc preced-
ent, an eff a man can't git dispensation on
desc groun's, whar's yer Court Houses, an
whars yer law 2'-Little Rock (Ark.) Ga
zette.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
A KNAPSACK DRILL.

"A. L. B." of Westfeld, Ind, sends the
following anecdote of his military ex-
perience;
Let me give you an anecdote of come of
the jovial and lively boys whose presence in
a company did more to promote health and
happiness than the hospital duinine and
opium pills In the old 18th Indiana Reg
iment there were four or five of these kind
of men, full of life and fun. Here is one of
Enoch Taylor's "Gouge games," as he called
it. If Taylor is living he knows it's true,
and hope he will forgive me for using his
name.
While at camp in Darnstown, Nd, in
1861, an order was issued for knapsack drill
every afternoon. The men were required
to pack their clothes, ETC., as if going on the
march, and drill in that shape for two hours
As the regiment was forming, Col. W. H.
Link, riding down the line, observed a few
straws protruding from the lap of Taylor's
knapsack. The Colonel reined up. his horse
with. "What have you got in your KNAPP
sack ?"
dts straw" says Taylor.
"what have you got it in there for?"
"why, Colonel, it amt as heavy as
clothes"
"Go to your quarters, and tomorrow l
want you in tanks with everything you've
got. Do you hear?"
"All right" says Taylor; al always obey
orders )" and he walked to his tent. The
next day he appeared in line with KNAPP
sack well stuffed, his overcoat and blankets
| forming a roll about the size of ten-gallon
keg, and long enough to extend six inches
beyond his shoulders, each way, causing him
to occupy the space of two men in the ranks.
The Colonel rode down the line, Taylor's
appearance caught his gaze, and he halted
in front of him.
"What in thunder is the matter with
your"
"Nothing at all, Colonel" says Taylor /;
"you told me yesterday to bring everything
l had, and I've done So"
Colonel-"1 should think you had"
Taylor-"Jes' so."
Colonel-"Do all them belong to you ?"
Taylcr-"Yes, but l forgot my frying pan;
it's down to the tent"
Colonel-"For Gods sake go and get it,
and when you do get it stay with it. Go to
your quarters I"
"All rightI' says Taylor, al always obey
orders. I'll so and write to mother while
you drill and I'll tell her all about this, and
hereafter don't aim to be imposed on.
can carry as big bundle as anybody and
no straw in it,"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
THE DEATH OF A MOTHER.

Some never have felt the sorrows that mel
The soul of full many another;
The keen piercing dart that strikes thro' the
heart
When at the death.bod of q motheri
o, what tongue can tell of the sickenlng chill
That crept DER us-sister and brother,
AS we stood at the head of that sorrOwful bed
On which lay our dear dying mother.
Light-hearted and young, we always had
clung
To the homo of our youth and each other;
And we all wept aloud, as We gazed on the
shroud
That enwrapped the pale form ofour mother
In the coffin she lay on that bleak winter day
And the winds seemed to battle together
But We felt not the cold, for our grief was un
told,
As we followed the bier Of our mother.
In the grave she was laid, and the sound Of
the spade,
As the cleds fell one after another,
Sent pang to my heart, that shall never
depart,
While 1 cherish thought of my mother.
We sought no relief from the depth Of our
grief
We spake not word to each other;
But in anguish we thought, as we turned from
the spot,
No more shall we see our dear mother.
Soon after parted, almost broken hearted,
From desolate sister and brother;
And months rolled around, ere stood on the
ground
That covers the bones Of my mother.
Twas then, when trod on the grass covered
sod,
When the flowers seemed to vie with each
other,
That prayed for Gods grace, and pardon
and peace,
That in bliss might meet with NY MOTH
erl
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03

"Come, witness" quoth counsel, sarcastic
cally, "tell us just what kind of look that
ISL
"oh, you git OUT was the snoppish re-
joinder
al insist on the question; how did tho
prisoner look to convey The impression that
the clothes were In danger2"
Witness wss ready with another tart res
ply, but his honor said;
"Comej you must answerj how did he
look"
The witness looked puzzled.
"Did he look" asked his Hohdf, iookihe
around for a smile. "did he look like-like
counsel, for instance2 ?"
"oh, deed no, sah," replied tie witness.
If he looked the least bit like dat gemman
there wouldn't have been no robbery at ALL"
"Ahj" said the flattered counselor chow
is that7"
"Td made oder arrangements"
"Indeed," he continued, smiling; "what
might they have been?
"Why, if he looked at all like you doesj
l wouldn't have dar'd to hang dom clothes
out at ALL"
There were no interruptions from that
time on.-N Y. Herald.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
The stupid Man.

They were contemplating Francois Arago
once upon time upon scientific lecture
which he had delivered, but the remark was
made that he had elaborated his eSplana-
tions almost to prollxity.
"oh, yes, know" reglied Arago, "but
that isn't surprising. You see when ! am
lecturing always make a point of selecting
the stupdest looking man in the audiences
and lecturing at him, explaining and re-ex-
planning till see that he understands me.
Now to day the man ,ecturcd at was the
stup-"
Enter gentleman, who rushes up to the
astronomer and shakes his hand warmly.
"My dear Mr.. Arago, what a splendid
lecture yours was to-day-not a word of ID
that child could not understand. You saw
how interested was, l hope, because no.
ticed you were looking oyer in my direction
from first to last"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03

raised cuts. 5omestimes a husband, when
he WAS displeased with his wife, cut off
these raised pieces, and the woman could
not appear again in public; she was not re-
ceived again in society until she was retat.
tooed.
He saw one of their weddings, which was
very curious. The festivities lasted several
days. A ring was formed Of the natives,
two men with big drums, played and the
people around danced. The bride was
brought out, dressed id feathers and other
finery, on the shoulders of the women. The
bride threw shells and beads around, for
which there was scramble, as the posses
sion Of them was supposed to confer good
luck. Ultimately the husband came into
the ring, and putting the bride under his
arm carried her off. The means Of commu-
nication was by drum signals. They had a
call on the drum for everybody's name, and
they could ask questions and convey intelli-
gence over hundreds of miles, and receive
answers almost Immediately. In war,mes-
sages1were constantly sent enormous dist
ances to bring up reinforcements or to stop
their coming. The mass of the people lived
in huts on dry land, but there was one or
two exceptions to this. He saw two lakes
on which the people were living in huts.
In one place the people had covered the
long grass growing in the water with earth,
and on that had built their hutsJ in the
other the huts were built on piles. The
language of the country belonged to the
same broad family which stretched across
the large belt of Africa traversed by him,
and the grammar was on the same princ.
pies as the grammar of the SwHli.-London
Times
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03

Mrs. Hee Lee, wife of the leading mera
chant Of Chinatown died "Wednesday after.
noon. She belonged to the upper ten among
her people, and was laid out in a high-toned
style yesterday. She is said to have been a
very smart and proper person, and a credit
to the race. She left one child. Hee Lee
is inconsolable. The Transcript reporter,
who had not then learned of his afIliction ,
met him early yesterday morning. observ-
ing that the old man was not as cheerful as
usual, and that cloud had settled oyer his
rotund physiognomy, he asked:
"What's up2"
"Welly bad, welly bad" he answered
gloomily.
"The Sheriff closed you up7" asked the
reporter, sympathetically.
"No, no. My wfee, she so die. She
heap nice gal. Me no know what to do.
Tradee welly bad me no eatchem money
nuif 10 buy mother"
The funeral took place late yesterday
afternoon. There was a big procession of
teams and pedestrians, and the entire afs
fair was success from beginning to eud.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
A wOman's opinion OF a lawyer.

1t was a sad thing for Lettie Davis, (col-
ored) when she put out her washing on the
clothes lines of her South Fifth avenue
abode yesterday. Peterson Knapp, of kind
red tint, was there on the watch, and he
came, it is alleged, as a thief in the night
and carried off the rainment, part and par
eel. AT all events an astute policeman ar
rested him for the offence, and he went 10
the Jefferson street Market Police Court,
yesterday prepared to maintain his inno-
cence by counsel. Lettie was there, too
and in spite of numerous trying Interrupt
tions from counsels she got down to the
point in her narrative where she discovered
Peterson longingly eying the clothes as she
hung them out.
"Dat brack Niger" she said, urgently
apostrophizing the prisoner, abe stood dab
wifi an ole clay pipe showed whar it 'ud dc
de moas good, and be was a pufiin' os if he
was goin' 10 split. But de way be looked al
dem clothes was quite 'nuR IN show any
sason'ble Oomans dat dsy wasn't safe
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
BE WILLING TO TRY.

Doh't give up 60 easy,
pray you, my friend,
Nor judge at the first
How the journey will end.
The pathway is rugged,
The mountain is high;
But ere you lose courage
Be willing to try.
You gain quite a foothold,
You, step by step, climb;
Look out HAVE d care
How you tread /; and take time |
Let hope be your watchword=
Let truth be your cry;
Though evils beset you,
Be willing to try.
You're up near the summit
You're sighting the goal,
Where rivers of beauty
Increasingly roll.
Forgetting your footsteps,
To think of the crown,
One single step backward,
And you may plunge down!
Ifso, don't give over
Men greater than you
Have missed, nor lost heart,
Starting each time anew
With staff well in hand,
And a glance at the sky,
They said to their comrades:
"Again will 1 tryr'
Persistence works wonders,
And pluck is like gold,
And he who would thrive
Must have patience untold
Must wrestle with fate,
Till the day he shall die,
Or sink like the coward
Who never Will try!
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
advice of lire tnii,sr or the perIod.,

"My son, and daughter, too" quoth the
father of the period, "my advice is not to-
waste too much time on Greek, Latin or
music, but rather train up the respective
legs have given you in the way they should
go, and become pedestrians and pedestrien-
mes. seest thou yon poor man, pale of faceS
emaciated and clad in threadbare garmentY
He in youth devoted his head to the ac-
QUESTION of knowledge, and he starves by it,
Seest thou yon short, little man, tacturn and
somewhat ungrammatical of speech2 That
is Rowell. He in early youth, on the banks
Of the Cam, used what mind he had in the
cultivation Of heels. Behold his reward.
He has won fame and is worth $50, 900. Son
and daughter, go both as you please and
walk. Go it both as you please while you're
young, for when you get old, like Norman
Taylor, you can't."-M y. Graphic.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
No atent-No Pay.
PATENTS

obtained for Inventors in the United States,
Canada and Europe, at reduced rates. With
our principal Office located in Washington,
directly opposite the United States Patent
Office, we are able to attend to all patent
business with greater promptness and des-
patch and at less cost than other patent at
torneys who are at a distance from Wash
ington, and who have, therefore, TO employ
associate attorneys" Wemake preliminary
examinations and furnish opinions as to
patentablty, free of charge, and all who are
interested in new inventions and patents are
invited to send for a copy of our "Guide for
obtaining Patents" which is sent free to any
address, and contains complete instructions
how to obtain patents and other valuable
matter. We refer to the German-American
National Bank, Washington, DC; the Royal
Swedish, Norwegian and Danish Legations
at Washington Hon. Jos. Casey, late Chic
Justice U. S. Court of Claims; to the Officials
of the U. S. Patent Office, and to Senators
an embers of Congress from every State
Address; LOUIS BAGGER & CO., Solici
tors of Patents and Attorneys at Law, LeDroi
Building, WASHINGTON, DC. dec22
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03

Some people have a fashion Of confusing
excellent remedies with the large mass OF
"patent medicine and in this they are
guilty of wrong. There are some advertised
remedies fully worth all that is asked for
them, and one, at least, we know of-Hop
Bitters. The writer has had occasion to use
the Bitters in just such a climate as We have
most of the year in Bay City, and has al
ways found them 10 be frst-class and relia-
bic, doing all that il claimed for Them
Tribune. 6-9W
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03

A Brooklyn boy Of ten years Of age was
reading the titles Of his fathers books, aud
when he came 10 "The Servant Girl Of the
Period" by Chamberlain, he said That's
the servant girl of the decimal point !" theui
after pause he added, 81 guess Mr.. CHAINS
berlain called his servant girl that whsa
she came TO a full stop.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
Risley's Witch Halle

Cures Headache, Burns, Sprains, Wounds,
Cuts, Rheumatism, TOOthaehe, Earaehe etc,
etc. Warranted equal In quality to any made,
az half the price.
o or Bottles 25e. Pint Bottles Soc
Have your druggist order, II he has not in
stock, Of
CHARLES +, RISLEY,
Wholesale Druggist, o. OOrtlandt, St, New
York. Aug. p-Sm.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
CATALOGUES FREE.

We have printed q large and oOmpiete cata,
loRue OF our BOOks ARRANGED by subjects ana
on application will mail copies free 70 any ad'
dress. We shall also be glad TO send free speci'
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So All persons reading this advertisement are
cordially invited TO SEND us by postal card OF
otherwise the names of themselves and ti1ends
Address TOLEDO BLADE, Toledo, OhiO.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
Fifty Thousand Books
For Sale at Half Price.

We are now Offering to the public, postage
prepaid at ONE.HALF the regular price, ,hity
thousand volumes OF choice bbOks, comprising
History. biography. Fiction, Poetry. HumOr,
OF Standard Authors, etc, etc, These books
are selected by our MT. LOCKE IN asby from the
try are all n JEW and FRESH, and are the
IDENTICAL EDITIONS hBndled by the re-.
tail booksellers. We have mailed thousands OF
these books to ali parts Of the country, and
every book sent out 10 WARRANTED 10 be
EXACTLY a = REPRESENrEDa and TO give
ENTIRE SATISFACTlON.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
Advertising Rates.

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H. V. MORTIMER, Publisher.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
$l5OO

%nn TO $1,000 A YEAR. or IS 70 $40 a
MI hNuHa day IN your own locality. %
qDLJUU risk. Women do as well a. men,
Many maze more than the
amount stated above. No one oan fail 10 make
money fast. ANY one can do the work. You
can make from 80 cents TO a. an hour Oy devot-
ing your evenings and spare time to the busi
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Nothing like lt Tor money making ever offered
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able. Reader n you want TO know an about
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us YOUR address ned we Will send you full par,
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8 also free you can then make up your mind
Tor ypurset A=ress GEORGE SrINSON
q co., POTtiAnd aaile Jane Ts--IYs.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
A ndersonvills Prison Sketches,

Dy one who was there A new Serial story was
| commenced Nov. l4th. Another one will com
mence m January.
TFRMS-SinRle COPY, per year, s201; nve
copies 81 as each ten or more copies ~ l.60 each
/ aud an extra copy with every club OF ten.
| Snecimen COPIES sent tree. send for one Ad-
| dress TOLEDO BLADE, Toledo, Ohio.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-03
THE
TOLEDO BLADE.
NAsBY's PAPER
SPECIAL FEATURES.

An the Departments which have made The
BLADE 80 popular all over the United states.
viii he regularly continued, namely; The Pop
ulnr Letters of that DISTINGUISHED Democratic
politician, REV. PETROLEUM V. NAsBY, which
are written expressly for THE BLADE our
UOusRIIOID DEPARTMENT, n rich depository OF
practical information upon subjects OF interest
In every home a YOUNG PEoPLEs DEPART
weekly sunday School Lesson; Charming
Poetry the Brightest Wit and Humor THE
To CoRIEsPOEDRNrs and the Latest News from
All Darts of the world. THE BLADE circulHtes
LARGELY in every state and Territory IN the
Union, and is everywhere recognized as the
largest and BEST NEWS AND AMlLN PAP:
FR published anywhere. Thy IL and you Will
never willingly be without lt
series Of