Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1880-12-16
Satan'S Mother-in-IaW.

In a certain town in Spain there once
lived an old woman called Aunt Holo-
feTnes. She possessed q crooked form,
q hideous face, and a temper so ac-
cursed that Job himself would have
been unable to endure her. Her neigh
Dors were so afraid of her that whenever
she appeared in the door of her house
khey all took to their heels. She was rs
busy as bee, and consequently had TO
little trouble with her daughter Panfila,
who was so lazy and so great friend Of
Father Quiet that nothing short of IN
earthquake would move her.
''You are as weak as the tobacco OF
Bolland," cried Aunt Holofernes to her
daughter one morning. ga yoke Of
oxen are needed to draw you from your
bed, You fly from labor as from q pesi-
lence. All you want to do is to stand at
the window and watch the boys in the
street. But I've made up my mind TO
turn over a new leaf with you. Get mp
directly, you shameless thing, or I'll
make you move more swiftly than the
wind p
Psnfla yawned, stretched herself,
arose, and, when her mothers back was
turned, slipped out of the door.
Aunt HoIofernes, without percefvfng
the absence of her daughter, began
sweeping the floor, muttering as she
did so:
"When 1 was young, girls worked
bike mules"
Whish, whish, whish, went the broom.
And they lived ms secluded as nuns"
Whish, whish, whish, went the broom.
"Now, not one of them can be made
10 work"
Whish, whish.
"All they ever think about is getting
married"
Whish, whish.
"They are all"
At this instant Aunt Holofernes
reached the porch, and beheld her
daughter standing upon the steps, max.
ing signals to youth across the street.
The dance of the broom instantly
terminated in a vigorous blow across the
back of the amorous girl, which worked
The miracle of making her run.
The old woman hobbled in pursuit,
but no sooner did she make her appear
Ance in the door than the youth fed as
swiftly as his legs would carry him.
"You accursed love-sick fool | will
break every bone in your body !"
screeched the infuriated mother.
"Why?" asked Panfila. "Because
am trying to get married7"
"You shall never get married, no,
never will not allow it cried the
nag, hourishing her broom.
"Why will you not allow t2" asked
PHnfla. "Did you not get married,
madam, and did not my grandmother
get married, and, also, my great grand
mother ?"
"There is not day of my life that l
90 not lament my marriage, for If 1 had
remained single you would never have
seen the light, you impudent girl, re-
joined Aunt Holofernes "and / wish
you to understand that although / got
married, and my mother and my grand
mother, I am firmly resolved you shall
not get married, nor my granddaughter,
nor my great-granddaughter."
In these delightful colloquies the
mother and daughter passed their lives,
without any other result than that the
mother each day became more ill-tem-
Pered, and the daughter more enamored.
On one occasion, when Aunt Holo-
fernes was engaged in cleaning linen, she
called TO Panfila to help her lift from the
fire kettle of boiling lye.
Panfla, instead of obeying, ran to the
door to listen to song which at that
instant well-known voice began sing
ing in the street.
Amt Holofernes, seeing that her
daughter did not come to assist her,
grasped the kettle and tried to pour its