The Orangeburg democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1879-1881, 1880-03-19

! cent for calling Il man escala-
wag.
Newspapers, religion and milk
tickets ought to be paid for in adj
vance.
The beauty ora mans parting his
hair in the middle appears to he that
IT gives both ears an equal chance TO
flip.
-"Docs your wife play cuchlc?'
said one. "No," replied the other,
rubbing his head, "but she. 3 death on
poker"
This is the season of the year
when venerable hens enter their sec
ond childhood, and are broilcd for
spring chickens.
One good lie, we'll stuck to is
worth q dozen mean, little vacillaling
prcvarications. II you must lie be
manly about it.
"A priest asked Of q condemned
prisoner in Paris Jail: what kind
Of u conscience have you?" 1t is
good as new," replied the prisoner,
"for have never used it,"
Where woman" says Mrs.
Darlington, q" has been married with
congcaling heart, and one that
beats deaponding to her own, she will
never want to enter the mari inc state
again"
1t is said that there is one COW
for every four persons iu this coun-
try, and if the wells and springs were
To fail some of us would be put on
short-allowancc of milk and cream.
"A life insurance policy is Of no
use TO man what does not intend to
die before the company fails. 1t is
something like glory which comes
to q military corpse on the field of
battle
We had heard SO much talk
about this self raising flour that we
bought a barrel Of it the other day.
and yet, when the bill came in, we
had to go and raise the amount oul-
self. There are all kinds of swind. |
lcrs nowadays.
The papers arc constantly telling
lis how to live on 50 d week. 1t is
undoubtedly very difficult problem,
but by no means the most difficult.
The world would be far wiser and
happier if some brilliant genius would
only tell us how to get the 50,
There S q man in Nevada who
has never been shot at. His expert
cncc is limited TO being stabbed twice,
buried in All avalanche, and kicked
into mine-shaft by q mule. Ills
neighbors say he'll sec something OF
ii eli he stays in Nevada long enough.
There arc great many people
in the world who are bound by the
close ties of blood 20 the man who
said that he had laid up two shillings,
one for himself and one for the Lord,
but that Tie one he had intended for
the Lord had been lost in an unrortu ]
nate speculation.
If there is any one thing that in.
jnres young ladJ's chances in float
ing with the matrimonial current, il
is her inquisilivc young brother, who
knows just enough TO be at home cv.
cry time her lover calls, and plies his
questions with that promp,iludc and
vigor that would win great credit for
n lawyer in Il cross examination.
a noted Texas lawyer who had
lately bccomezMsanc, stood up in
church and asked q young lady to
come forward and marry him. The
young lady was SO surprised and
shocked that she tainted. This is be-
ievcd to be Tic first instance on re-
;ord where man has escaped maLri-
nony through the Temporary weakness
# the other side.
The Toronto corset makers are
IN strike, their employers have pull
cd The strings too tight for them and
,hc girls won't he solaccd, but have
rs,itutcd n stay of proceedings, de-
:laring they wont waist their time
md Of cnrscts too much 10 expect
hat they will bone down to work
without proper pay. Hip! Hip
iurrah !! for the girls.
TIE youthful I, sc-butlish looking
,litor Of The Madisonian b,ushcd
:lenr back behind lis auriclcs tie
,thcr evening, hccause Il gentleman