The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1880-01-24


The aforementioned letters made US feel
very uncomfortable, and blackguard-
lsh, for their genuine grief. mortifica-
ton and establishment were rebuke
to our thoughtless joke, the only ex-
cuse for which was the fact that no such
realistic results had been expected.
Will, being good-natured, generous
fellow, salved his conscience by giving
pecuniary aid in several instances
where investigation proved that aid was
needed.
While glancing over the second batch
of letters Will suddenly cried out:
"By George! here's prize, and
jolly one, too, after this alternate mass
of slush and sorrow; just listen to it,
will you, and bear in mind it's my
booty, as l made the find"
He then read as follows:
MILWAUKEE, Wis, March 10.
Mr.. EDWARD CLARKE ? al believe
you're real humbug, Ned, and that you're
not Ned at all, nor a widower, nor anything
else stated in that personal After carefully
studying your little romance, have made up
my mind that you are one of two evils; either
a designing wretch of man, who wishes to
laugh at and expose the follies of silly
womanhood, or else, and that's great deal
worse, scandal-loving female who would
tickle her gossipy palate with the discovered
weaknesses of her own sex. IL you are the
latter, despise you, for | can't get any fun
out OF Irritation with woman; but If you
are the former, Pll excuse your enormities II
you'll only make yourself amusing. What
you are time may discover; what l am you
shall now hear. In the first place-you men
always take that into first consideration
i'm, 1a6 hr11r, 20 nd hot 1nnIy snrr
than the average woman, at least, SO my
friends and my glass tell me. l am in my
nineteenth year; to be exact, was eighteen
last January, and am not the least bit senti-
mental, but full of mischief as any poor
cooped-up girl you ever saw. Now isn't it a
shames-Im not out of boarding school yet
and that's the reason you get this letter;
for I'm older than most of the other girls, and
feel like doing something that isn't real bad,
you know, but that's just little reckless,
and they'll think it's awfully wicked when
they find out that Pm corresponding with a
man don't know.
If you are a woman-but | don't think any
woman could have published such thing, so
We'll pretend you are nota woman-if you are
a man, then, and put that piece in the paper
just for lark-isnt that an awful word for
me to use?-why | will promise to answer your
letters SO long as they are pleasant and polite;
for you must not think am not lady be-
L
have no idea of marrying anybody, and espe
cially not you, for l am rather fond of some
body else and he likes me, at least he sends
me boxes of candy and the Sweetest flowers;
but Pm tired of this poky life and need some
sort of tonic. If you wish you can write to
Yours suspiciously,
JOSIE MASON,
Box - Milwaukee, Wis.
P. S.-This isn't my real name, you see, any
more than yours is Edward Clarke; but it is
the only name you must know me by And if
by any chance your advertisement should be
in earnest, should be dreadfully sorry to
have written to you in this way, but Pm sure
that in that case you'll forgive harmless
joke from young girl who has scarcely any
amusements.
"That girls a little trump" said
Will, when he had finished reading the
letter, "and Pm just the boy to help
her drive the blues away. You can
have all the rest of the letters, but this
one drops to my ink"
1t struck me that there might be
more fun in this correspondence than
in any of the others that offered, so l
mildly suggested the improperly and
possible risk of epistolary ventures on
the part of married man. My friend
detected the motive, however, and
laughingly remarked that man en-
gagged would run more danger than a
man married; so he stuck to his prize,
and then and there answered it in a
bright and sparkling letter, which over
flowed with fun and yet bore marks of
prudence and of respect for the young
lady. In it he acknowledged the falsi-
ty of that personal, and declared that
his object was gained in securing so
jovial and probably so pretty eorre-
spondent, vowed that he would write to
none of the other damsels who had an
swered the matrimonial card, and
promised, on all the honor an unknown
man could possess, that he would make
no attempt to discover the identity of
"Josie Mason" He took precious good
pains, the scamp, not to say anything
about his membranes, and carefully
avoided touching upon his personal af-
fairs.
A voluminous correspondence ensued
between these two lunatics, to which /
was party, in so far that Will always
read me the letters from both sides.
After some months of this sort of thing
had passed, noticed, and remarked
the fact to him, that Josie's style had
greatly changed since her first letter;
she was less fippant, and evidently
strove to appear more womanly. 1t
could also be seen that she regretted
her mention of the young man of flow
ers and candy boxes, for several times
she limited that she invented that sweet
gifted youth as convincing argument
to the unknown correspondent that she
was in search of amusement, not of a
husband. Her photograph, sent about
this time, showed very pretty and
rather intellectual face, and in return
Fowler inclosed the likeness of a good
looking Eastern friend of his. About
this time l again urged upon him the
propriety of stopping a correspondence
which could afford him but little more
pleasure, and which might lead to dis
Agreeable results, limiting at the same
time, my belief that the girl was be-
coming too much interestedin him. He
treated this advice cavalierly, and spoke
in so caustic manner about the virtue
of non-interference that neither asked
to see, nor did he offer to show me, any
more of the letters; and although we
remained as good friends as ever, that
matrimonial card was, by tacit consent,
dropped from our list of conversational
subjects. My correspondence with three
g Nhn IL. Co.. L.