Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-04-29
HOUSE TO LET.

HelghC?' yaWned Mr.. ElHcOtt, the
real estate agent as he looked out of
the window at two old women, a
market cart, and the postman. Times
are dull-fearfully dull! Never have
known 'em stagnant so since [ was in
the business. A list of houses to rent
and for sale that would suit anybody, at
prices that are absolutely scandaIoUs,
as far as cheapness is concerned, and
no demand for 'em-literally none!"
And Mr.. Ellicott lighted his cigar, ar
ranged the "To Lets" a little more at
tractively in the window, and shook his
head mournfully at the big ledger on
the high desk.
But just at that instant lii which he
drew q sigh indicative of the EXTREMIST
dependency, a stout midGle-aged gen.
tleman, with felt hat, an umbrella
under his arm. and square toed boots,
walked into the ne2J -arpeted office.
The agent slipped rimbly of the chair
laid dovu his cigar, and assumed the
business mile.
What can / do for you?" he said,
rubbing his hands, and scentinga brown
stone sale, or a red brick exchange, at
the very least.
my name is JONES'" said the stout
stranger.
Happy to see you, Mr.. Jones'" SIM
pered the real estate agent, rubbing
away harder than ever,
"And | want to rent respectable
mousse in pleasant neighborhood,"
added the gentleman. 81 am sick of
boarding, and | intend to take a house
and go TO housekeeping.
Certainly" by all MEANS" said the
agent beginning briskly to fiutter over
the leaves of his book. "We have, |
am happy to say, number of most
eligible residences here which can
hardly fail to meet your acquisitions.
"Giye me q list said the old gentle
man,
Certainly" said Mr.. EIicott, dipping
his pen in the wooden standish.
Il mean business" said Mr.. Jones.
81 am glad to hear it, said the agent.
And scarcely five minutes more had
elapsed before the middle-aged gen
tleman, with the alpaca umbrella, and
the square-toed boots, was where q fat
lettered ''To Let" hung conspiciously
beside the door.
Miss PAMELA Peppermint was just
taking her hair out of crimp in the
front third. story apartment as the bell
sounded its hollow tOcsin through the
house.
Joanna" said Miss PAMELA, over
the stairs, look out of the area window
and see who it Is"
at is q gentleman, ma'am," Joanna
answered, in a snrill whisper, Sin a SUI
perfine br0adclOth coat and new UNI
brella"
"Come 10 answer the advertisement y
said Miss PAMELA, radiantly. SHOW
him into the parlor, Joanna and tell HIM
I'll be down directly"
She settled her crimps once again
pinned petite ribbon bow in her back
hair. gave her forehead farewell dab
with q powder puff, and read over for
the last time, a paragraph in the morn
ing's paper, which ran as follows:
WANTED By young lady of educa-
ton and experience, a position as house
Keeper TO gentleman of means. No
triiiers need apply to Miss p, No. SO
Nixon street.
Dear me-" said Miss Peppermint,
chow my heart futters-for surely this
is a crisis in my life. How often does 8
housekeeper eventually become some
thing nearer and dearer to gentleman
of susceptibility and appreciation! |
hope he is fond of poetry"
She crossed the threshold with trip.
ping step. To her surprise. the apart
ment was empty.
''Where is he, Joanna?" said she look
ing around in dismay.
please ma'am," faltered the maid, Il
think he's an escaped lunatic-for he's
walking all around the back kitchen,
and peerin' into the stationary wash
tubs, and mutterin' to hisseif like every
thing"
"Ahl" said Miss Peppermint, with a
satisfied smile. Every natural quite So.
he means to find out what kind of a
practical housekeeper [ am. A-herl!
here he comes. Run, Joanna, there is
stove-blacking on the bridge of your
nose and a hole in your stocking.
A-hem! Please to walk in SIR" to the
middle-ased gentleman, who appeared
on the threshold, with his spectacles
tipped over the bridge of his nose, and
his umbrella carried javelin-fashion,
under his arm. 81 have the pleasure OF
addressing"
my name is Jones, said the gentle
man brusquely. "You are the lady
who"
"Who advertised?', Yes" sal; Miss
Peppermint, with smiling inclination
Of her head.
Then l wonder at you'll" enunciated
Mr.. Jones.
'Sir!" said Miss Peppermint.
GAS old as the Mills" said Mr.. Jones,
"all out of repair. Fifty years old at the
very least"
"Sirr' calculated the lazy, more
aStounded than ever.
Truth is TRUTH" saidt he gentleman
"Not even decenuy painted"
Painted" gasped Miss Peppermint
instinctively remembering the pearl
powder.
.Rheumaticky, and full Of fever and
aque?' theoretically added Mr.. Jones.
But forty dollars month"
"Only twenty" said Miss Peppermint,
family.
Il wouldn't consider the question at
any price!' roareG Mr.. Jones. ga
tumble down old ruinp
"Sir, you insult MEL cried the spins
ter, bristling up.
"Then, madam, you shouldn't OBJ
trude your damaged wares before the
public"