The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1880-03-27
Nasty.
Mr.. 'Nasby and his Friends hold Consul
tation and First Determine to Support
Voorhees, and then Change Over in Fa-
vor Of 8. j. T.

vor Of 8. Ut.
The question ez to wich honist statesman
the Dimocrisy shell nominate for the presiden-
cy hez agitated the Corners uncommonly Nv
late. The Dimocrisy Nv the Corners will vote
for enybody that the Convenshun chooses to
put on the track, for the Corners recognizes
the fust dooty NV a Dimocrat is to open his
mouth and swaller whatever his leaders chooze
to drop into it. The Dimocrisy NV the Corners
IL very eesy one to git on with. None nv
EN- reed, without sich CRATE laber that they
RELY don't consider it worth wat it
COSTS and ther informashen, like ther cloze liz
ginerally second hand.
1 desided it wuz best to hold a meetin to as
sertane wat wuz the preferences NV the Dimoc-
risy NV the Corners on this important matter,
and akkordingly called one. am ruther fond
NV holdin meetings, for it not only helps to
manetane my importance, but ginerally man
age to git Bascom interested to the pint nv
askin us all to take suthin wich is soothin to
the bowels. Likker earned in that way is
sweet for it tastes iestIez good ez tho yoo paid
for it, and the gittin Nv it is triboot to yoor
genius.
There wuz great diversity NV opinyun on
this pint, and,every mani in the meetin he'd
candidate nv his own. Deekin Pogram wuz
quite yoonanimous in favor NV Voorhees, nv
Injeany for the first place on the tikket, for
various reasons. Fust, there wuzn't any doubt
about his Dimocrisy. He wuZ, doorin the late
onpleasantness, stanch friend NV the South,
and is to-day Jest ez useful to US ez tho he wuz
actilly Southern man. In our opposishun to
seckshunalism we insist on hevin man en-.
tirely Southern in feelin. The fact thet voor-
hees is Northern man does not count agin
him. We are opposed to seckshunalism, and
are willing to vote for Northern man, of We
can depend upon his entire devoshun TO the
South. This is all we require.
Another man wantid Tilden, another Bayard
Nv Delaware, and yit another Thurman NV
Ohio, vile great many wuz entirely willin to
support Hancock, and even Gineral Mcclellan
he'd some friends. .-. rrl
Finally, some one asked ef the Dimocrisy nv
the Corners he'd thot NV the great and good
Tilden wich wuz swindled out nv the Presi-
NV iustis in the Corners?
From every part Nv the meetin house there
aris murmur of disapproval.
1--WE don't want no Tilden in ourn," sed
several; che is the tool NV the bloatid bond
holder!' ..a.. tsr
"No Tilden for me-" sed another, che is op-
posed to unlimited greenbax, and wants to pay
off the nashnel dett' 5ei.I'
"No Tilden!" shouted the entire meetin yoo-
unanimously Anybody but Tilden."
Deekin Pogram moved thet it wuz the sense
NV the meetin thet Senator Voorhees, NV Inje-
any wuz the proper man to bear the Dimocrat-
ic banner to victry, and wuz about to put the
moshun wen that onmitigated cuss, Joe B!gler,
wich is torment, rose and said he he'd a re-
mark to make before the question waz put.
"Are yoo aware, Josef, thet this is a Dime
kratic meetin?" Iremarkt.
"Hevin inventoried the noses NV them in at
tendance, smelt thar breaths, and gazed upon
thar clozes, / am aware this is Dimekratic
convenshun." .-Crs1 .'-a-. I. III
care you Dimekrat, JOSEF"
"Ez am meditatin an entire repoodiashun
NV wat owe, and hev determined to quit
work and jine the cirkle at Bascom's 1 kin say
I am, or at least soon will be!'' ,. --e-
"Then suppose we shell hev.to hear wat 700
hev to say"
''Uv course 700 will. Yoo ginrally do heer
wat l hev to say. Wat wantid to git at is
this: The Corners will room itself by support
in Voorhees,. How much does Parson Nasby
owe the Corners?" Gc] M
Every man in the awience riz to his feet ez
"He ows me ninety-six dollars" yelled Dee
"And me hundred and fortyl'' eiakilatid
Issaker Gavitt. Jrsa i8. ne rrt
And eyry man NV em statid the mizable sum
/ ode him, till the aggregate swelled to over q
thousand dollars.
"Do 700 want yoor muney?" sed josef
"We do! We dol' sed they in korus.
"My frens," con:inered he, "Voorhees hez
no muney. Voorhees, heznt a cent to by o
delegate with, and wot erthly chance wood our
esteemed friend hev to bring back enythin from
the convenshun ef he goes instructed to vote
for Voorhees,? Nv kourse he will be yore dele
git, and Nv kourse you expect him to cum
bringin shelves. Frens NV the Corners, yoo
don't want Voorhees, ef yoo want yore mummy.
Yoo want man wich hez the disposishun to
buy and the mummy to buy with"
"Uv korce, we dow korse we do! D-n
Voorhees, they all eggsclamed.
"Gentlemen!" sed josef, "wat yoo want is
Tilden. Tilden bez munny-barls Nv it. Til
den is a patriot wich don't want eDy DELIGHT TO
vote fur him fur nuthin. Thet eminent pa
riot will be in Cincinnati with his mummy. He
will hev his hedkwarters full NV 1t, and whose
wants will be permitted to PLUM into thet bari
elbo deep. 1t is NV vital intrist to the Corners
thet he be our NOMINEE"
And immeiitly half-dozen moved that the
name NV Tilden be substituted for Voorhees,,
and it wuz carried y unanimously.
Josef Bigler moved that his esteemed friend
Nasby be the delegate, wich waz carried.
wuz so grateful to Josef for this that / ac-
tilly come down from the chair and embraced
him. --,H i7 >..-.-..--
"Hold on" sed josef Ego slow, parson. I
hev another moshen to make. l move also
Iudt d COiuIuittoo Nv tuc pdIoouo CIOuieotb W
appointed to accompany him to Cincinnati, 70
see that after gittin the money he brings 1t
back with him. do not doubt the parsons
honesty, but don't like to exposs him to
temptashun. Human nacher is week."
And this moshun waZ carried, and Deekin
Pogram, Issaker Gavitt and Captain M'Peter
was made sed committee and instructed to re-
ceive the money therselves, and to divide IL
pro rata among my creditors.
And the meetin adjurned, Josef remarkin ez
we left the house, Saint it wunderful, Dee
kin, how little things in1ooence great ones?
Only think Nv it! possibly yoor vote will nom-
| mate the CRATE Tilden. Sposn yoo he'd never
| come to the Corners and never borrowed mou-
| ey, the old man mite never hev ben President.
| But don't know after all; you'd heve bor-
| rered it somewhere else."
| wish to heaven that Jo Bigler wood die.
| Here am forced to 60 to Cincinnati, with the
| certainty Nv decent pile and no good to me.
| What good does it do to pay detsi can't
| drink the likker over that money paid for, nor
| kin 1 eat the same meal over agin. That liz
| gone. But 'spose shell hev to stand it. But
| all the same, ef they git that money, shell
| confess hev fallen into my dotage.
| PETROLEUM V. Massey.
| Delegate elect. J
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