The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-11-18


inyens and tea-kettle. But see,
Cap'n, I'm dubersome; 1 feel there's
somethin' short tho rye counted 'em
nine times over, and never took my
eyes otf um while on the craft; there's
somethin' not right, somehow"
"Wal, stranger, times up; them g
all knows on; so jest fetch your wife
and five children out Of the cabin, ices
Pm goin' to put OFF,
''Them's um Darn IT, them's um
know'd I'D forgot someIhin'!"
cts growing in right rapidly,
My head can now be seen
Like other heads, in silken locks,
Thanks to my CARBOIINE."
A STRANGER In Bodie ono day last
week, in eating q plate of hash at a
restaurant, being very hungry, un-
guardedly neglected to chew it we'll,
and swallowed large coat button.
They doctored him for the pneumonia
three days before he was able to ex-
plain. Then, they fed him big but
ton-hole tied to a string and flshed it
out In no time. He screens all his hash
very carefully through cane-bottom-
cd chair now before he eats it.
"WELL, Father Brown, how did you
like the sermon yesterday?" asked a
young preacher. "Ye see parson -
was the reply, 81 haven't fair chance
at them sermons Of yours. I'm an old
man, now, anu have to set pretty we'll
back by the stove; and there's old Miss
Smithie, Widdor Taft N Rylan's
darter's in Nabby N all the rest setting
In front OF me with their mouths wide
open a swallerin down all the best OF
the sermon, N what gets down to me
stuff"
A WOMAN employed about the house
ny lady recently brought her
mistress a letter from her husband
and asked her to read it for her. She
did 80, and at the bottom of the page.
below the signature, she saw a mum Der
OF little scratch marks resembling bird
tracks. "Why, Alice," asked she,
''what on earth are these2" pointing
to the stars, or scratches. or crosses, OF
which there were forty or fifty. Alice
answered, shyly; "Them's kisses.
A LITTLE boy, four years old, having
often been told that 1t was wrong to
ask for anything at the table, was
down at dessert. After waiting patient-
~ for some time, without being noticed
he exclaimed: "Mamma, please, may
have an orange If don't ask for 1t ?"
"Yes, DEAR" was the reply. But,
after considerable interval, the little
fellow, not getting his orange, again
addressed his mother with: "Pleasc,
mamma, I'm not asking for an orange" ."
This time he was duly rewarded.
VEGETINE.-The great success OF the
Vegetine as cleanser and purifier OF
the blood is shown beyond doubt by
the great numbers who have taken 1t
and received Immediate relief. with
such remarkable cures.
You may dress bad habit in the
costlte.t broadcioth and endow 1t with
all possible graces and destinations, 1t
ts only bad habit nevertheless. The
French have a proverb, "Wash a dog
comb dog, still dog is but dog"
IT is a bad rule to blame your for
tune rather than yourself, when mat
ters go i'll with you. "If your sword
is too Short" said the wlse Roman,
''you can make it long enough by tax.
ing step forward" The Italians say
also. "a good knight ishever at loss
for lance"
II you are determined to do certain
thing the worst excuse seems better
than no excuse at all. In Madrid they
put this TACT into the ptthy sentence I:
eff you want to flog your dog say he
ate the poker.''
BISHOP (reproylng his delinquent
Page) "Wretched boyi Why Is it that
sees and hears all we do aud before
whom even I am hut as a crushed
wormY" Page: "The missus, My
Lord"
NoBoDY knows bottcr than he who
has tried 1t That from saying to doing Ia
long stretch. If saying good thinge
Instead OF dong them were saving
to heaven.
WE should have thought of this q
few days earlier, but man can't eat q
peach without feeling down in the
mouth.
THE best church bells are those who
make no noise during the service.
AN undertaken gets his living where
another man dies.
"Aiads New AgaIn.''
ST.. CArlIARlNEs, Ont.
II. v. Pierce, NJ. D.:
have used your Favorite Prescrip.
'ion, Golden Medical Discovery and
Pleasant Purgative Pellets. for the last
three months and find myself--(whal
shall ; say)--"naade ne,o again." are the
only words that xpress 1t. was re.
duced to skeleton, could not walk
across the floor without fainting, could
keep nothing In tho shape Of food on
my stomach. Myself and friends had