The weekly Floridian. [volume] (Tallahassee, Fla.) 1867-19??, 1880-05-11


Den0mInatiOnal Railroads.
BRAKENAK's OPINION OF cHUBcHEa
On the read once more, with Lebanon fading
away in the distance, the fat passenger drum
ming idly on the window pane, the cross passen-
ger sound asleep and the tall, thin passenger
reading General Grants Tour Around the
World" and wondering why "Green's August
Flower" should be printed above the doors of
"ABaddhist Temple at Benares." To me comes
the brakeman, and seating himself on the arm of
fhe seat, says:
al went 10 church yesterday"
Yes" ! said, with that interested reflection
that asks for more And what church did you
G1teDdg
Which de you guess?" he asked
Some union missien church p l haZarded.
Now" he said, don't like to run on these
brnnch raods very much. don't often go to
church, and when do, l want to run on the
main line, where your run is regular and you
20 on schedule time and don't have to wait on
connections. ] don't Ike TO run on branch.
Good enough, but don't like it,"
Episcopaly guessed.
Limited express" he SAID, all palace cars
and - extra for a seat; fast time and only stop
81 the big stations Nice line, but too exhaustive
for a brakeman. All train men in uniform, con-
train boys allowed. Then the passengers are al
lowed 10 talk back at the CONDUCTOR and it makes
them TOO free and easy. No, couldn't stand
the palace cars. Rich road, though. Don't often
some mighty nice people travel on it, too"
UniFersalist?' / suggested.
Broad guage" said the brakeman, "does too
much complimentary business. Everybody trav-
els on pass. Conductor doesn't get fare once
in fifty miles Stops al all flag stations and won't
f1fo bt1f l1uiO No
ing car on the train. Train orders are vague,
though, and the trainmen don't get along well
with The passengers. No, don't 60 10 the Uni
Fersslst. though know some awfully good men
who run on that road"
+" Presbyterian ?" asked.
Narrow gauge, eh?" said the brakeman,
pretty track, straight a rule; tunnel right
through a mountain rather than go around it;
spiritIeEel grade; passengers have TO show their
tickets before they get on the train. Mighty
stricf road, but the cars a little narrow have
10 SIT one in a seat and no room in the aisle TO
dance Then there's no stop-over tickets al
lowed; got 10 90 straight through for the station
you're tickeied for, or you can't get on at all.
When the cars full, ne extra coaches; cars built
Al the shops 10 hold Just so many and no more
allowed on. But you don't often heareof an
accident on that road. Its run right up TO the
rules"
Maybe you have joined the Free-thinkers,"
said
cCTuB rOdQ, S4u the DlakemaD, TOaQ
led and no ballast; no time-card and no train
dispatcher. All trains run wild and every en-
gineer makes his own time, just as he pleases.
smoke II you want TO; kind of go-as-you-pease
rad Too many side tracks and every switch
wide open all the time, with the switchman sound
asleep and the target lamp dead out. Get on as
yOu please and get of when you want to. Don't
have 10 show your tickets, and the conductor
isn't expected TO do anything but amuse the pas
sengers- No, sir; was offered pass, but dom
ike the line. ! don't like to travel ON a road
that has no terminus. Do you know, sir, /
asked 4 division superintendent where that
road run 10, and he said he hoped to die if he
knew j asked him if the general superintend-
ent could tell me, and he said he didn't believe
they had general superintendent, and if they
had, be didn't know any more about the road
l11n The passengers l asked him who he re-
ported TO- and he said nobody. ] asked a con-
dncior who he got his orders from, and he said
lie didn't take orders from any living man OF
dead ghost. And when ! asked the engineer
who be got his orders from, he said he'd like 10
see any man give him orders; he'd run that
train 10 suit himself or he'd run i: into the ditch
Now yOu see, sir I'm railroad man. and don't
care 10 run on a road that has no time, makes no
connections, runs nowhere and has no superin-
feDdenL IL may be all right but I've railroaded
TO long 10 understand il"
Did you Try the Meihodist:" / said.
Now you're shnuting, he said with some
enthusiasm. Nice road, eh Fast time and
plenty Of passengers Engines carry power Of
siean. and don't you forget it.; steam guage
shows q hundred and enough all the time
Lively roads; when a conductor shouts all
aboard yeu can hear him to the next station
Every train lamp shines like headlight. Stop
over checks given on all through tickets; pas
senger can drop of the train as often as he likes
do The station two or three days and hop on the
next revival train that comes laundering along
Good EbOle-souled, coInpanionabe conductors
Amt road IN The country where the passengers
feels zOre At home. No passes every passen
ger rays full tariff rates for his ticket Wesley
Hn-hOuse air brake on all trains too; pretty safe
road. but didn't ride over ii yesterday
Maybe Won went to the Congregational
church, :" / said.
Popular road" said the brakeman an old
rad, too one Of the very Oldest in the country
Good road bed and comfortable cars. Well man
aged road, too; directors don't interfere with
division superintendents and train orders Roads
mighty popular, but it's pretty independent, too
bee, dldn't one of the division superintendent
down East discontinue one Of the Oldest sta
IONS on this line two or three years ago? Blu
il a . mighty pleasant road to travel on. AL
Ways has such a splendid class of passengers"
Perhaps you tried the BaptistF' guessed
once more.
An, an p said the brakeman, she's daisy
lEnt shes River road, beautiful curves, sweeI
around anything 10 keep close to the river, bu
ns al steel rail and rock ballast, single track al
the way and not single side-track from thu
round house 10 the terminus Takes heap o
wafer 70 run il through; double tanks at ever
station, and there isn't an engine in the shop
than can pull pound or run . mile in less thar
two gauges But ii runs through a lovely count
y; these river roads always do; river on ont
zde and hills on the other, and it's q steady
climb up the grade all The way till the run end
where the fountain head of the river begins
Yea Ar, IN take the river road every time fol
lovely trip, sure connection and good time
and no prairie dust blowing in at the windows
And yesterday when the conductor came around
for the tickets with little basket punch, / didn
nsk him 10 pass me, but paid my fare like lit
lie man-tWenty-fVe cents for an hours run anC
little concert by the passengers throwed In.
Tel you, Pilgrim, you take the river raod wher
you want
Ban Just here the long whistle from the engine
announced station, and the brakeman hurried
10 fhe door, shouting:
~Zi0nsvillei This train makes no stops be
tween here and indianapolis r - burlington
EnaaIpaN