The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1880-09-03
ALLEGED BITS OF WIT.


|, A case Of suspended animation-S wisg-
ing In . hammock. q . nd sGas8 astt 4saas tal
/ Columbus made an egg stand. But Ital-
ians Of less renown have made the peanut
stand. l4 a asAa aaeaa 6as4 sassrs
"Don't play tag around the hind end Of
this mnls /" 10 placard in an Indianapolis
stable. s#f la III s9sH sei.aaafasg odF 6s5sl
/ Lscnidas vas ono OF the original load
hsads. He held the pass at Thernopyl@.
Transcript. s7s s#aH5 II
A young lady, Who has studied Ill the
!" ologiss" wants to know IL the crack OF
. rifle h where they pus the powder in.
80 Ny dear doctor, whore would you rec
onmend me to 20 this summer2 do
not care whore, provided ny husband isn't
there. ~ ;, aat6.ae ha.4s So Raaa zz*g u
"How sleep the brayss" inquiries the
poet. aNicsly, thank you. except when IL
IL opprsssively warm; then We lie awake
half the night Courier. = Ets .sa ,tai
No photographer .oan carry on bis Ausi-
ness vithousA little sun.-N. =. Esprsss.
You had daughter know Photographic pic-
lures can be made by electric lights. =.
"How Shall We Get the Yolng Mem to
Church 7" il tho title Of IN srticls in re-
ligioas weekly. Building . half-mils track
around the church might remove tho dini-
Guilty. aaf@ tsa1aga ~ aa
I. Stories nrst heard at mothers knee are
never wholly forgottsn.-Ruskin. But
rules OF conduct first enforced ut the SANS
place leavs far moro vivid and lasting
impression. ssrs asr...,a rssg ga 49, a,e
The Bridgeton, (Me.) Nesos says :"Ths
types last week made us say that the
showers .vere not sufficient to meet the
wants Of tho milkmen,' ETC., instead Of the
nillnen'." yw "a lsstaat at saw ytl1g ot5 aa
The young rascals Who removed the chi
rspodist's sign ''corns cured hsrs," and
placed it on the wall Of an inebriats esy-
lam, had some idea Of the itness Of things.
0o~nsreiaI Bullstin. :, ny @ ,.', ~ -. 80, ',,''''. w.
es A lady put watch audsr her pillow the
other night, but couldn't keep IL thsS ~
cause it disturbed her sleep. Ard there,
oil the time. WAS her bsd-ticking right un-
dsrneash her, and she never thought Of that
ut sll.o y y aa7 ss5.. s-.s3t aae sls6'o.3 III
An exchange says "Peansylysnia Dutch
girls mako good preserves, but 1t dossn't
say how much ssgsr it takes to pound Of
Dutch girls, nor how long you lot 'sn boil.
The rscips for preserving Dutch girls
should b published.
! A young jew, recently married, oonsults
Calino on grave domestic diGculty. 'tAy
vifs.'' says he, II , Catholic, end !, you
know, sm Jew; she vspts to bring the
baby MP according to her rsliEien." !"
.'Spli. the dikeresce," replied Calino, and
make the lid Protestant" ssg 10 he
A promising youth Of osly seven SAM
msrs, Who had been accused OF mot always
telling tbs truth, cross-exanined hls faith
or: = Faeher, did You use to lie when you
wsvs . boy ?" "No, my son." said the
father who evidently did not recall the past
with any distinctnees. 81 !" Nor mother, eith-
ers'' No; bat why ?'' y " oh, because 1
don't see how two people who never told .
lie could have boy that tells A. many as /
do" seHnaa ,sr faaf aafsas =. .sa}sHy asE sat
III " I'm bein' imposed on by this ere court
80 | am, too" said an inoens-d woman in
Justice Bsrdine's court-room ut Leadville.
!" In what way ?" asked the dispenser Of
justice. " Because, /" said the injured lady !,
" the defendant in this 'ere Case has two
lawyers and |, the complainant, ain's got
but one, I'd like to know what kind Of jes-
tice there Is in that, hey % s4 a*as sa5 y