Richland beacon., 1880-01-03

Any man can edit a newspaper, but it
take Il genius to make five hundred miles
in six days.
WHATEVER objection may he opposed
to whipping, it is at least undeniablc
that il makes a boy smart.
Dr.. CARVER, the.American rifle shot,
has been very successful in nEgland, and
will remain there until spring.
TIE best business in Leadvillc is that
Of lawyer; the next best, that of an
undertaken; the poorest, that of miner.
Col BURNABY says that Europe has
less than nine and half million sol
dicrS and quarter of a million sea
forces.
THE London World authoritativcly
states that Princess Louise went to En-
gland that the expcctant heir might be
born there.
LONDON Truth: proverbs are the
refuge of fools. They may he the wis
dom of nations, but in their application
they show that in all nations there are
very silly persons"
A KANSAS burglar has sued black
smith who refused to make him certain
tools 10 open safe, ''thereby damaging
said plaintiff in the sum of $4,000"
These blacksmiths must be taught
lesson.
AN egotistical clergyman of this coun-
ty, sin the good old days." when mar
rying a couple, invariably said, "Whom
God and have joined together, let no
man put asunder.'
A MAN and wife, newly-married and
making a wedding visit to New York
went to sleep in a theater We'd
nes,lay night, and were found sitting
there at 3 O'Clock in the morning.
EVIDENCE OLFACTORY. Angelina
(scientific)-"DO you smell the iodine
from the sea, Edwin? Isn't it refresh
ing?' Old salt (over-hearing)-"What
you smell amt the sea, miss; it's the
town drains, as flows out just ere."
IT is said that minister in country
kirk in Scotland stopped in the course of
his sermon to ask a member who was
deaf. care We hearing, JOhn?" ooh
aye" was the response; 81 am hearing,
pUe w VIII" httiC pun kOrN.
AT ten, child at twenty, wild;
At thirty, strong, if ever;
AT forty, wise; at fifty, rich
At sixty, good, or never.
CAN, Louise, my heart is very de-
spondent. Ever since / have gazed into
the depths of those lovely eyes l."
"Hlish, John! Put an airbrake on that
train of thought. Pa has introduced
me to his new partner, and I'm his for
two million dollars. That settles it,"
MOTHER to her daughter Just years
old; "What makes you look 50 sad.
Carric?'' Carrie, looking at her baby
brother, 3 weeks old: 81 was Just think
ing that, in about ten years from now
when shall be entering company, and
having beau, that brother of mine will
be just old enough to bother the life out
of me-"
In the district of Waldai, in Russia,
wolves are making great ravagcs this
year, and it is feared that the losses of
the peasants will surpass those of 1873.
The bill of slaughter of this year alone
in the above district includes 276 horses,
S54 colts, 1868 sheep, 273 cows, 74O
calves, and 295 goats and pigs.
If every shred of wool sheared from
the sheep of the universe and every fibre
of cotton picked from this terrestrial
ball, could be spun into yarn and knitted
into one stocking, which would be as
long as the bOttomless pit is deep, and
big roundenough use the equator for a
garter, it wouldn't hold enough to satisfy
the Christmas wishes Of curly-haired
girl of five tender but precious years.
FRENCH Protestants are rejoicing over
the fact that a Protestant assembly has
been permitted in the palace of VersaiI-
les. Through the request of NJ. Favre,
whose wife is Protestant, the minister
of worship granted the Pastor Bassa of
Versailles the privilege of holding rcli-
giOus services in a part of the palace
while new church is erecting. The first
services was held on Sunday. November
ID.
iHE newspapers of British Burmah
try their best to report dresses worn at
balls by British residents, but they do
not succeed very well. 1.-TWO fair
eisters," says one of these papers, "were
dressed in pretty white cashmere princess
robes, fitting very WE'LL" This is as bad
as the enthusiasm of the Boston religious
paper which, in describing a wedding,
said that the bride presented a neat
pDearance."
THE Elmira Gazette gives the code of
hat filtration signals: Wearing the hat
squarely over the head-I love you mad
ly; tipping it over the right ear-my lit
tie brother has the measels; wearing it
on the back of the head-ta, ia, awfully
awful; taking it off and brushing it the
wrong way-my heart is busted holding
it out in the right hand-lend me quar-
ter throwing it at policeman lovo
your sister; using it as fan-come and
play with my aunt carrying brick in
cruclty i kilIinv mo Eick;py -