Richland beacon., 1880-01-31
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

THE tongue of the real belle never
told SANDER Whitehall Times.
COrETsHIP, says an exchanges, is not
run by the rule of three. But after
courtship i. run by 10; the woman l,
sad the man o.
iT is difficult to understand why Q
wife never asks her husband "if the
door. are all locked" until after he il
suuriv covered up in bed.
DEAREST let me correct your morals.
You address me, My dearest Maria
Am ! TO suppose that you have other
dear Marias"
H said, al think I'll utilize your
-ugre,,ion." She replied flushed with
ind iguation, 81 don t tell lies, and you're
a mean nasty thing"
TIE difference between Us and Van.
deibit is that Wander has SIG, 600, 900
in iour per cents. and we haven't four
per cent in sl6,O00,O00.
Eisfuli of golden opportunities"
rcma,i,s philosopher. It is. it is; but
they arn't worth their face when you try
to cash them.
TIE word "Caution" appears in
many medicine advertisements, and .
good deal of attention should be paid
:, i.
MEN are beginning to feel uncertain
a4 to the policy Of wedging a maple
= .h-pick between their teeth and
iHeIkirC it off, for the sake of dislodg.
ire % t,t Of Goldfish.
ISIS is Vie the time church fairs, when
J e 'rPs shine DER fair women and brave men
! i". oyster soup with its golluptious smell,
tug i9gty cent. dish is made 10 sell.
Toronto GrapAie.
DID you do nothing to resuscitats
the body?" was recently asked Of q wit
ness at coroner's inquest. "Yes, sir
we searched the pockets" was the
reply.
THE rumor is out that Gen. Grant il
using the silk copy of the Harkeye pre-.
rented him, for ahandkerchief.-Qvincs
Modern Argo. This is . sad blow TO,
Burdette. Who nose if il is true?
A SON who had always been sup
ported by his father, cremated the ol.
gentleman after death, and put hii
ashes in an urn, 30 that people couldn't
cay ne never urned his living.
PEOPLE with political communica,
tions are respectfully informed that We
have no italic type in this ofRce. We
will not need then ourselves until after
the next election, and We sincerely trust
not then.
CHILD (scarcely three years old) lock.
ing wistfulIy at q diminutive pie:
Now, Meta, want you to
save your nice pie 50 your papa can zee
it whep he comes home" Child-look-
ing still more wastfully-"I sink ]
could tell papa ezacly how it looks"
IP Won haven't spunk Just eat buck.
whea; cakes They'll make you come To
he scratch.-Meriden Recorder. You
lust come to the scratch and acknowl.
1ge that this is our paragraph, VIA
:en by us months ago.-Ksokuk C6nstitN'
non
WHAT'S RoNoRf
Ask not the soldier in the battles van,
But But her be beneath your own E rosi-tree e Who % can
Ard will most Willingly 10 you unfold
The sec-et Bid her mark your neighbor's wife
when she he- ample wardrobe seeks, 70 don her
Five garments: when she Teappean, nv life,
II. stake, your better half can tell what's On her.
THE advantages Of literary culture are
very great. A young man spent much
of his time in the Public Library in
GLASGOW, Scotland. He studied science.
He came across minute description Of
a still. He thought he could make one.
He also made whisky. He is now in
Jail.
TAKE dead wasp and impale him on
the point Of needle set up in the bot,
.om Of wood chair 20 that the insect
c nceals the needle, and then all you
want is to find some man who will be
foolish enough TO bet that he can sit
down on that wasp quick and hard
enough TO crush it before it can get it,
work in.
TIE number of convicis in 1873 in
III The STATE prisons Of the Union was
% ~, Gt whom 1888 were employed
u me echanicsl industries.
THE countries in which calico print
ay j, chiefly practiced are, in the order
4 their importance, Great Britain,
France, Germany, Austria, Switzerland.
: pain and Russia and the United States
II ate years has become also an exten.
i've producer of printed cottons. In
he United Kingdom, which takes the
ir-t place in the point of production,
Is A.-ace i. supposed 10 do in the mat
-ers of color and design, there are lao
arms engaged in the trade.