Sharp County record., 1880-10-21

hluuOM III q luuuuCl-olOllu liz @O"As
dear, | know l shall never see the light
of another day. Mortimer?
" Yes?n
"What is that rustling"
"Its me-"
"What are you doing?"
Trying to find the upper end of my
oautaloOns."
"Quick ! throw those things away!
| do believe you would deliberately put
on those clothes at such time as this
yet you know perfectly well that all
authorities agree that woolen stuffs at
tract lightning. 0, dear, dear, it
isn't sufficient that ones life must be
in peril from natural causes, but you
must do everything you can possibly
think of to augment the danger. .,
don't sing What can you be thinking
Of?n
"Now where's the harm in it?'
Mortimer, if | have told you once, |
have told you a hundred times, that
singing causes vibrations in the atmos-
phere which interrupt the flow of the
electric fluid, and-What on earth are
you opening that door for?"
Goodness gracious, woman, is there
any harm in that P'
" Harm d? There's death in it. Any
body that has given this subject any at
tention knows that to create a draft is
to invite the lightning. You haven't
shut it shut it tjght-and do hurry,
or we are all destroyed. O, it is an
awful thing to be shut up with luna
tic at such a time as this. Mortimer
what are you doing ?n
Nothing. Just turning on the
water. This room is smothering hot
and close. l want to bathe my face
and hands"
"You have certainly parted with the
remnant of your mind! Where light
ming strikes any other substance once
it strikes water fifty times. Do turn it
off. O, dear, l am sure that nothing
in this world can save US. 1t does seem
to me that-Mortimer, what was that?"
at was plaguy picture. Knocked
it down"
"Then you are close to the wall! |
never heard of such imprudence! Don't
you know that there's no better conduc-
tor for lightning than a wall? Come
away from there! And you came as near
as anything to swearing, too. o, how
can you be so desperately wicked and
your family in such peril? Mortimer,
did you order feather bed as | asked
you to do?"
"No. Forgot it,
"Forgot it! 1t may cost you your life
If you had a feather bed now and could
spread it in the middle of the room and
lie on it, you would be perfectly safe.
Come in here-come quick, before you
have chance to commit any more fran
tic indiscretions."
| tried but the little closet would not
hold us both with the door shut, unless
we could be content to smother. |
gasped while, then forced my way
out. My wife called out:
Mortimer, something must be done
for your preservation. Give me that
German book that is on the end of the
mantel-piece and candle, but don't
light it; give me a match, | will light it
in here. That book has some directions
in it,"
got the book-at cost of vase and
some other brittle things, and the mad
am shut herself up with her candle. |
had a moments peace; then she called
out:
Mortimer, what was that?n
"Nothing but the cat"
"The cat! O, destruction! Catch her,
and shut her up in the wash-stand. Do
be quick, love; cats are full of electricity.
l just know my hair will turn white with
this nights awful perils."
l heard the muffied sobbngs again.
But for that, l should not have moved
hand or foot in such wild enterprise
in the dark
However l went at my task-over
chairs, and against all sorts of obstruc-
tions, all of them hard ones, too, and
most of them with sharp edges and
at last [ got kitty cooped up in the COM
mode, at an expense of over four hun
dred dollars in broken furniture and
shins. Then these muliled words came
from the closet:
"lt says the safest thing is to stand
on chair in the middle of the room,
Mortimer; and the legs of the chair
must be insulated with non-conductorS.
That is, you must set the legs of the
chair in glass tumblers. Fzt!-bOO
- bang! = Smasb! ] o, hear that!
Do hurry, Mortimer, before you are
struck"
l managed to find and secure the
tumblers. l got the last four-broke
all the rest. I insulated the chair legs,
and called for further instructions.
Mortimer, it says, 'Wahrend zines
Gewitters entferne man Metallic, vie z.
B., Ringe, Uhren, Schlussel, etc., Won
sich und halte sich auch nicht an solchen
Stellen auf, wo vele Metalle bic einan-
der legen, oder nit andern Korpern
verbunden sind, vie an Herden, Oefen,
Esengittern u. dgl.' What does that
mean, Mortimer? Does it mean that
you must keep metals about you, Or
keep them a1Oay from you?"
"Well, l hardly know. 1t appears
to be alittle mixed. Alderman advice
is more or less mixed. However, |
think that that sentence is mostly in
the dative case, with little genitive
and accusative sifted in, here and there,
for luck so it means that you must
keen some metals about VOu.h