The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1880-06-11
Wy wIp.'s nnlDAL rorR.

" hVA uHAiEAta MY sttpHh WIZ hHt
was dreadful set about going of for n
bridal tour. I told her she'd better
wait six months or n year, aud Id try
to so with her, but she said she'd rather
so alonc--when woman was travelling
man was an out-and.ont humbug.
So | gave her - cents and told her
TO so OH and have good time. l
never begrudge money where my wife's
happiness is concerned My first wife
never could complain Of not going any
where, for I'm dreadful fierce to go OF
on n good time myself, and always was.
don't pretend TO say how many times
took her out TO see the engine squirt,
and there was no end 10 the free lee.
lures | let her so to. The neighbors
used TO say:
IL does beat all how the SINNERS
do go"
When Signor Blitz was in Sknnk-
yille with his wonderful canaries, he
gave my wile complimentary ticket.
/ not only sold that for my wis. Int !
gave her half the msney. | don't
boast Of it, though; only mention It
TO show how much | thought Of my
wiie's happiness.
don't think any man ought 10 get
married until hc can consider his wile's
happiness only second 10 his own.
John Wise. nrighbor of mine, did 80.
and when ! got married concluded 10
10 like Wise.
But the plan didn't work in the ease
Of my second wife. No. | should say
not. broached the subject kindly;
Matilda" ! said, 4" suppos.. ou
are aware that ! am now your lord aud
master T.
Not much YOU amt
Mrs. skinner" l replied, "yon nfe
fearfulIy demoralized you nced ff-or-
ganizing at once. Yon are CRANKY"
Aud | bIandishe,l my new c. cent
umbrella wildly about her, She took
the umbrella away from inc auI Inciscd
ms up in the clothes press
ain quick to- draw an inference,
and the inference | drew waA lhat
WAS not SUCCESS Us rc-crgauizcr of
frmAle women.
After this | changed nay tactics.
let her have her own way. and lhe plan
worked to charm fIom the very titst.
il's lhs i'sst way of managing wife
that | know oi. OF coutHr this is it.-
tween you auh me-
SO when nv viii. ssil las. Was ioun1
To go of on lrilnl t.u.. ! cordially
consented.
"Go. Matilln." | sail, I" n,al n'.,y -
long rs yon y ant Ia: li'ti, II t"n f,,l
~ lhongl, sou ~o"l.l like to s'a, j, lit-
tie longer, stat. my dear. siat"
She told iu.. t,. sl"r talking a'.l 80
np stairs aud get l,rr tf'l damned nisih-
cap, and ihst bag of l-ni',ro.al Tor hrr
Aunt Abigail.
aly wife, il very smart ~utna1.
She WAS Baxter. aud ,le RaNtsiS nrr,
srry su,aIs family, iu't'1,vi. ii'r
mother. who is going GA 80. can f'y
more slap jneka now tl,am half those
tfinls-d np ciiy girls who rstll' 81. the
piano or walk the STREETS with tfirir
furbelo~a aud liNings. pretending tn get
mnl il youth looks at 'rm petty
hard. hut getting mad in earnest IL you
.lnu't notice them "a all.
Ah girls amt what they used l., I.c
hen WAS young, aud the fellows are
worse still When | went courting,
for instance. never ihongl of staying
till after 10 O'clock, anil only weat
tWire "a week. Nov they 90 seven
nights in the week, Hn,l cry b-canse
there amt eight Then they write
touching notes To each other ','uiag the
day:
Z" Dear George, do you lose me rs
much now as you did Mt quarter past
! ~ last night Say you do, dearest
aud it viii give me courage to go down
to dinner and tackle them cold Lt..ns
left over irons yesterday"
WslI, well, suppose they cuiny
themselves, and. it ain't for ns old
folks, whose hearts ara little calloused
by long wear, to interfere. Let them
get together and court il they like It
and think they do. was a. when
courted my present wife, but it seemed
Just as nice TO sit on little cricket a
her feet aud let her smooth ay hair "a
il did thirty years ago.
Il >
started to tell yon about my wifei
bridal tour, but the fact is ] neveI
could find out much about it myself
I believe she had good time Sai
came back improved in health, and
found out, before she had been in tht
house twenty-faur hours. that she't
gained in strength also, | don't 81!
how ! found it out simply say
found it out. In conclusion, | wouh
say to all young men. Marry .you
second wife first, aud keep out Of deb
by all means, even if yon have 10 bo,
row money TO do it,
nOE INGERsOLL 0N MONEY.