The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1880-05-05
The Humors of the Telegraph.


When the news came Of the revolution in
Turkey and the disposition of Abdul Aziz,
Queen Victoria, it is said, lost no time in in
tervening in his behalf by telegraphing to
Constantinople and expressing her hope that
the ex-Sultan would not be subjected to any
violence OF ll-treatment. 'sSoignez lie bien''
take good care of him) said Her Majesty;
but the cruel telegraph made her say aSaig-
nez lie bien" (bleed him well); and how they
bled him all the world knows. The story is
not impossible.
In his last annual report the Postmaster
general owns that poor woman, to a rela-
tive, "Mary is bad" had her message rem
dered "Mary is dead" and that a pleasure
party wishing to advise their friends at home
of their safety by the assurance that they had
'arrived all right" scandalized the anxious
ones with the announcement, "We have ar
rived all tight" But many jokes are perpe-
trated by the wire without receiving official
recognition.
A noble lord, as proud and fond as man
should be of his beautiful young wife, was
Just about rising to speak in a debate when q
telegram was put into his hands. He read
it, left the house, jumped into cab, drove to
Charing Gross, and took the train for Dover.
Next day he returned home, rushed into his
wife's room, and finding her there, upbraided
the astonished lady in no measured terms.
She protested her ignorance of having done
anything to offend HIM.
s'Then what did you mean by your tele-
gram?" he asked.
"Mean2 What said of course. What are
you talking abeut2'
"Read it for yourself" said he.
She read: 81 fee with Mr.. - to Dover
straight. Pray for me :"
For the moment words would not come;
| then, after merry fit of laughter, the sus-
pected wife quietly remarked: 80, those
dreadful telegraph peoplel No wonder you
are out of your mind, dear. l telegraphed
simply: Il tea with Mrs. -i in Dover street.
| Stay for me-"
| King John of Saxony was prone to drop
| ping in upon officials when they least expect
| ed him. One day he appeared at the tele-
| graph Office of small station. The clerk
| appraised his colleague at the next station of
the unwelcome visit, and before an acknowl-
/ egment of the warning came was called upon
to enlighten the inquiring Monarch respect
| ing the business of his office. Presently a
message came along the wires, and His Ma
jesty desired to be acquainted with its pur-
port. He was told it was unimportant; but
was not to be put of, and insisted ON the
message being repeated to him; so the SIAM
mering clerk had no choice but to regale the
royal ears with the German equivalent for:
"The King pokes his nose into everything. u
If King John was annoyed by the imI erti-
nence he had to thank himself for it.
Such was hardly the case with the late
Earl Russell. One evening, when the minis
ter in attendance at Balmoral, little old
man, buried in great coat, handed tele-
gram addressed to one of the ministers in
London, to the telegraph clerk in one of the
stations on the Deeside Railway, the clerk,
after glancing at the message, threw it con-
temptuously back with: aPut your name to
it. It's a pity your master does not know
how to send telegram" The name was
added. "Why you can't writep exclaimed
the clerk, after vainly trying to make some
thing of the signature. What's your name?'
my manner" said the messenger-"my
name is John Russell" ol
That clerk was transferred to another Office
before many days passed.