St. Landry democrat., 1880-03-13
How He Came to be Married.
A VERY HUMOROUS SKETCH,
lChicagO Ledgcr.l

tails, cigar boxes, bOOt-JackS, abscOnd.
ing shirt buttons, whist and dominoes
Shadows present-hoop-s skirts, band
boxes, ribbons, CATERS, long stockings
juvenile dresses, tin trunpets, little
willow chairs, cradles, bibs, pap, sugar
teats, paragoric, hive syrup, castor oil
Godtrey's cordial, soothing syrup, rhu-
barb, SIENNA, salts, sqnilIs, and doctors
bills. Shadows furthermore nine
pound babies, more hive syrup, etc, etc.
I'll just tell you how | got caught. |
was always the darndest, most tea
custard bashful fellow you ever did see;
it was kinder in my line to be taken
with the shakes every time | saw a
pretty gal approaching me, and I'd
cross the street any time rather
than face one; twasn't because | didn't
like the critters, for if | was behind !,
fence looking through knot hole
couldn't look at one long enough Well,
my sister Lib gave IA party one night,
and | stayed away from home because /
| was too bashful to face the music.
hung around the house whistling "Old
Dan Tucker" dancing to keep my feet
warm, watching the heads bobbing up
and down behind the window curtains,
and wishing the laundering party
would break up so | could get to my
room. | smoked a bunch of cigars, and
as it was getting late and mighty I'M
comfortable, | concluded to shin up the
door-post. No sooner said than done,
and soon found myself snug in bed.
Now says |, "let her rip! Dance till
your ind gives out" And, cuddlng
under the quilts, Morpheus grabbed me.
l was dreaming of soft-shell crabs and
| steWed trIpe, and was having a good
time, when some one knocked at the
door and woke me up. Rap" again.
| laid low: crap, rap, rap"' Then |
heard a whispering, and | knew there
was a whole raft of gals outside. rap,
rap" Then Lib sings out, "Jack,
are you there?'' "Yes," says /. Then
came a roar of laughter. 'Let us in,n
says she. IL WON'T" says I; "can't you
let fellow alone p 'Are you abed ?"
says she. Il am" says |. Get up"
says she. 81 WON'T" says |. Then
came another laugh. By thunder! |
began, to get riled. Get out you petit
coated scarecrows ~ [ cried cant you
get beau without hunting fellow out
OF bedg won't go home with you'll
throwing boot at the door, felt better.
But presently, oh, mortal buttons. |
heard a still, small voice very much
like Sister Ibis, and it said, Jack, you
have to get up, for the girls things are
in there!" Oh, Lord, what a pickle!
Think OF me in bed, all covered with
sllawls, mutfs, bonnets and cloaks, and
twenty girls on the outside waiting to
get in! If had stopped to think. |
should have died on the spot. AS it
was, rolled out among the bonnet-wire
and ribbons in a hurry. Smash p
went the millinery in every direction.
| had to dress in the dark-for there
was crack in the door and girls ,viU
peep-and the way fumbled about was
death on straw hats. The critical
moment came. opened the door and
found myself right among the women.
Leghorn!" cried another, and thew
pitched in. They pulled me this way
and that, boxed my ears, and one bright
eyed little piece-Sal - her name
Was-put her arms around my neck and
kissed me right on my lips. Human
nature couldn't stand that, and / gave
her as good as she sent. 1t was the first |
time l ever got a taste, and it was
powerful good. | believe | could have |
kissed that gal from Julius Caesar to
Fourth of July. "Jack," said she, Eve
are sorry to disturb you, but wont YOU
see me home 7" "Yes said I, 81 WHIP
| did do it, and had another smack at the
gate too. After that, we took kinder
turtle-dOvlng after each other, both of US
signing like a barrel of new cider when
we were away from each other. Twas
at the close of glorious summer day
the sun was setting behind distant
hog pen-the chickens were going to
roost-the bull-frogs were commencing
their evening songs-the pollywogs, in
their native mud puddles, were prepar-
ng. themselves for the shades of night,
md Sal and myself sat upon an
back log, listening to the
music OF nature, such as tree toads,
'oosters and grunting pigs, and now and
hen the mellow music of a distant
ackass was waited to our ears by the
gentle zephyrs that sighed among the
MULLEN stalks, and came heavy laden
With the delicious odor of hen roosts
ind pig styes. The last lingering rays :
It the setting sun, glancing from the s
,rass buttons of a solitary horseman,
hone through a knot hole in the hog ;
zen, full in SAILS face, dyeing her hair
With an orange-peel hue, and showing
1T my threadbare coat to bad advan-
age-One Ofmy arms was around SAILS /
waist and my hand resting on the small
It her back-she was toying with my {
uburn locks of jet black hue-she was s
lmost gone, and | was ditto. She G
ookea like a grasshopper dying with +
he hiccoughs, and l felt like a mud Q
urtle choked with a Goldfish ball. e
SAL" says |, in a voice as musical as S
he notes OF a dying swan, will you S
ave me-" t
She turned her eyes heavenward, e
lasped me by the hand, had an attact t
t the heaves and blind staggers, and s
18th sigh that drew her shoe strings s
} her palate, said "Yes!0 She gave b
ear out then and squatted in my lap. o
Rugged her until | broke my suspen- W
ers, and her breath smelt of onions u
hich she had eaten the week before. c,
Well, to make long story short, she b
It the day, and we practiced for four G
eeks every night how we would walk
to the room to be married, till we got
) we could walk as graceful as couple Il
Muscovy ducks. NJ
The night, the company, and the h. h.
mister came, the signal was given, m
I'd arm in arm we marched through r.
G crowded hall. We were just enter NJ
g the parlor door, when down / went t f.,
,rslap on the oilcloth, pulling Sal after 4,
q. Some cussed fellow dropped ~
mana skin on the floor, and floored fie