Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-07-11
THE DOCTORS WATCHMAN.

"Tell you what, doctor; you'll be get
ting robbed and murdered one of these
days; you will, upon my wordr
Hardly, my boy. You ought to
know, by this time, that it's the province
of us doctors to Kill other people, not to
be killed ourselves" And, with thick
chuckle at his own NJ, DR.. John Hunter
Bistoury settled himself comfortably in
his chair, and begai to peel his third
orange as carefully as if he we're taking
off limb
When the doctor first came to New
York, thirty years before, he had been
in no way burdened with riches but
his face had proved his fortune in diff
ferent sense from that OF the over-candid
milkmaid in the song. The mere sight
of that round, ford, iovial visage, in
every crease OF which a joke OF good
story seemed to be lurking, was cor
dial in itself, and appeared capable OF
reviving the most hopeless invalid with
out the aid of medic;..e at all. Mindful
of the human wealll IS which makes SO
many worthy Poop regard their own
ailments as kind ii personal distinc-
ton, the lessening OF which in any way
is direct Insult to themselves, DR.. Bis
toury slillfully took II middle course be-
tween alarming his patients, by an over
serious view of their case, and offending
them by appearing to make light of it.
In this way he had acquired an enor.
nous practice, and his reputation now
stood so high that the mere eclat of his
name had suficed 10 sell an entire edi-
ton of his great work upon 'TThe Mu-
tual Relations of Mind and Body" in
which he proved to his own satisfaction,
if not to that of ali his readers, that all
criminal impulses whatever, and indeed
the very existence of sin itself, are Who'll
ly due to ga morbid action of the physi-
cal system that murder may be pre-
vented by the timely use of EPSON salts,
and an unbeiever converted by q judi
cious contemplation of the virtues of
quinine.
81 can assure you, my dear Harry, :"
resumed the genial doctor, 6" that it's
amazing fattering to me to find myself
considered worth robbing at all. No
thief would have Thought me worth a
father-as fine a fellow, Harry, as ever
breathed-used to come and sup with
me upon biscuits and toasted cheese in
my little snuggery down town. And
then, as surely as the time came to go,
he'd turn to me and say: Now, Jack,
old boy, won't you think better of it,
and let me write you check-just to
give you fair start, you know?' But,
although l knew well enough that he'd
have been only too glad to do it, I had
to refuse; for my motto is, Heaven
helps those who help themselves >"
ga motto which you'll find some
black-masked gentleman exemplifying in
this very house one of these nights"
growled Harry Everett. ''Look here,
doctor, I'm not joking not, indeed.
Everybody knows you're d rich man,
and it's got abroad that there's room
in your house which is always shut up
the very thing to make people think
there must be something very valuable
slowed away there, and yet, after all that,
you go living in this big house without
a soul near you except the cook and old
Sam yonder;swho wouldn't be worth
cent III real Scrlmmage
Well, my boy" said tie doctor, with
a curious smile; "would it tranquilize
your mind if I were to engage night
watchman?"
81 should think so. That would be
just the thing
every good. Consider it done.
This room, of which Harry had spoken
as being " always shut up, was stand
ing puzzle to the doctors few intimates.
Not q man OF them had ever crossed its
threshold, and its master, when ques-
toned on the subject, answered only by
some joking evasion. Rumor whispered
that one adventurous gentleman, rem
dered desperate by his wife's threat to
give him no peace till he found out
"what DR.. Bistoury kept hid in that
room of his, " had actually attempted
burglarious entrance; but the attempt,
if ever made, had been unsuccessful. 1t
is needless to say that countless conjec-
lures, and not a few heavy bets, likewise,
were being constantly made respecting
the contents of this Bluebeard chamber.
Many declared that the doctor had fitted
it up III the hope of discovering the
Philosophers stone. Others were
equally positive that it contained the
hoardings Of his whole life in American
gold, his opinions being VIGOROUSLY of
the g hard-money F" order. A rival prac-
titioner, of somewhat cynical turn,
suggested that it must contain the re-
mains of the unfortunate patients who
had persisted under that fellow Bistoury's
ministrations, and one imaginative lady,
deeply read in "Jane Eyre stoutly
maintained that the doctor, in imitation
of the hero of that famous work, had
immured his wife in that mysterious
o46liette, In order to enjoy unchecked
the freedom of q bachelor life. Against