The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-02-19
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SENSE A& nom sEas4A.s J
A COLD sNAP-an icy answer.
EpicER says his collar-button is Hike
the celebration of the Fourth of July
IL is sure to ccrne of.
COLONEL ROBERT G. INGERsOLL earns
from his, profession and lectures from
GO; GO TO- s7e.eo year. and spends
~" SWNBuRN@" inrAnglo.Sa sig
"nifes "pigs-bfOok 'a-swin N(S. spig5,
burne "a brook), writes correspond.
ent of the London Nes0s. ;>st
Tie appraisers of the estate of the
late William s. O'Brien, the San Fran
cisco millionaire, have made an inven-
tory showing its value to be $685.
459.77.
:aMR ki1zistrH aCpMsrocx; Gus
ker missionary of Michigan, says of the
lis, 900 prisoners whom she has visited.
los, 900. were brought to prison through
strong drink.
EDISON says he can fix electricity 30
it will run sewing-machine at an ex-
pense of two cents a day. Good enough!
But what would be the probable ex-
pense of arranging it so as to run sew
ing>machine agent out of q town.
Brooklyn Eagle. IL - '',
An exchange inquiries: "What shall
we do at the table?' Why, eat, man,
eat, of course. 1t wouldn't be Just the
thing to play ball, or shoot at q mark,
or do anything of that kind, and we
don't see much left to do but eat, Sup
pose you try eating, anyway, at FIRST
Bridgeport Standard.
A PUBLIC SPIRITED Mississippian, DR..
C. NJ. Walden, has made an offer to the
Legislature 'of Mississippi oe the vari-
ous churches of the State to give $780,
600 toward the erection of college at
Walden, psovided that either the
churches or the lawmakers will give the
other $4,000 required. .a,g
"A BURGLAR. was killed the other
night near indianapolis by brave wo-
man, who, on seeing his head thrust
through a window-pane, took a chair
and dealt him y powerful blow, break
ing his neck He hung until morning,
when she aroused her neighbors, and
his body was cared for.
A LITTLE boy being asked by another
boy what he was doing now, replied,
II am cashier in u, clothing store"
"You, cashier!'' said the other in
management. yes" said the little
chap, "that's what the clerks call me.
A hundred times a day they boiler
scashier. ~" '.Cash! here!" was what
the clerks said. r'7 :<ji
"PAPA,'' said he, as he was show n
some pictures in book Santa Claus
had left him, Papa, why does camels
have such big lunches on their backs?"
The information received not being
very satisfactory. he at length solved
the difficulty himself. "Why, l know,
papa" said he, "it's SOS they'll b.
camels.', Which must he the reason.
-ElmirG Advertiser.
IT is related Of the late Rufus Choate
that, on receiving note from his asso-
ciate counsel at Washington informing
him that in an important case the court
had decided against him, he wrote back
as follows: "Dear Sir: The court has
lost its little wits. Please let me have
l. Our brief (for the law. 2. The de-
PENDANTS brief (for the sophistry).
8. The opinion (for the foolishness),
and never say die.'' ta...'
CR1RCH gin the bankrupt city of
Ek14 bdeh, NJ T., was assessed 500,
sind the church edifice was In danger
of a forced sale, when some canny
Christian bethought him that the bonds
Of the city were receivable for the as
sessment. Acting upon this happy
thought, $500 was raised, the debt
"paid'' with bonds worth two-fifths
their face, and thanksgiving service
was held over the achievement.
THERE is nothing more musical than
the voice of a baby during the daytime.
and nothing more solemn or terrible
when heard after you have settled your
self for comfortable nights sleep.
It doesn't help the matter any to be
reminded that you kept your parents
awake in the very same way, and that
good old Mother Nature, who never
forgets a fact, is simply enforcing the
law of retribution. Y. Herald.
elf you was q decent person. re-
marked shrill female voice on the rail-
way, "you would shut down that win
dow and not expose me to the draft. :"
Madam" was the reply, as the window
was softly lowered, II thought from
your face that you were over forty-five,
and therefore out of the draft. And
Notwithstanding the fact that this
wretch was on the train the cars did
not run of the track or the locomotive
burst its boiler.
PARNELL's manner before an audi
ence is thus described in the Spring.
field Republicans Boston correspon-
dence: '.Parnell is cold as an iceberg.
He evidently commits his speeches to
memory, and he has no animation, no
style. His voice is thin and his m amer
awkward. He does not seem to be in
earnest; he does not warm with his
theme. He seems the politician, not
the leader. He does not sway his audi
ence. He cools rather than fires its
aTdof." L. tsp f.re'
THERE are all sorts of lessons
drawn from sudden deaths; but that
which the Directors of the Fulton Ferry
Company, New York, derived from the
death of one of their pilots by heart dis
case is, at least, emincntly practical.
The boat, crowded with passengers, was
ready to start from the dock, bat the
pilot failed to give the signal, and an
)investigation showed that he was sitting
lifeless in his chair. The perils or
ea3amities that might. have occurred
had the event happened in mid-river
determined the directors henceforth to
station two men in their pilot houses,
to provide against all accidents of this
ind.-Detroit Free Press s.
- 4 Lost Husband.
ONE of the officials of Justice alley