Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-04-01
A Neglected Point Of Etiquette.

For the didactic literature Of etiquette
intelligent men and women entertain .
feeling not far removed from contempt,
and there is perfectly good reason for
this, doubtless. Books Of the class re-
ferred to very laboriously teach two
classes of things, namely, things which
all tolerably well-bred persons have
learned in infancy, and things for which
no tolerably well-bred person cares.
They solemnly enjoin attention, on the
one hand, to the propriety of eating
with the fork, of using napkins at table.
and of keeping the hands and nails
clean-things which to well-bred persons
''come by nature''-and, on the other
hand, they painstakingly set down some
scores of precepts concerning formaii-
ties which are entirely unworthy of the
attention of serious persons.
There are too many books Of this
kind in existence, of course, but there
is lack and need of treatise upon ETH
quette still. There are very important
points in which large class of men and
women seem still to be uninstructed,
and their lack Of instruction is source
of serious annoyance, not to say injury
to their fellow men.
The coming work upon etiquette
must teach, for example, the truth that
most persons in our time have duties to
attend to which require time, and that
it is as selfish and as vulgar to take up
ones time as it is to use ones postage
stamps, or money, or any thing else
that he may place, in courtesy, at his
guests disposal. The necessity for en-
phasizing this truth is made apparent
to editors and professional and business
men every day by examples of inatten-
ton to it. Persons who would think
themselves disgraced if they were mad
vertently to seal letter sent by friend
think nothing of sitting for half hour
or longer, in conversation in an Office
or study whose occupant may be pre-
sumed to have real use for every minute
of his time. These persons come upon
business, actual or pretended, and are
received. Courtesy and reason require
that they shall not extend the visit be-
yond the time necessary for
the transaction of that business.
The fact that their host is courteous
and invites them to sit down and con-
verses with them without indi-
eating by tone or manner his impa-
tience with their stay is, of course, no
excuse for staying.
Mrs. Barbauld said that one has as
good a property-right in his privacy as
in any thing else that belongs to him;
she might have added that one has a.
equal right to the control of his time,
and any violation of that right is both
discourtesy and wrong. To argue
that the person whose Office is visited
should frankly tell his visitor that he
can not spare the time necessary for
conversation is to require him to pro-
tect himself against a wrong by discour-
tesy. We do not regard ourselves rs
entitled to pocket any small article in
friends house which he has not express
ly pointed out as thing that he can
not conveniently spare; yet that is pre-
cisely what good many persons seem
to require with respect to minutes,
which are usually less easily spared than
parlor ornaments would be.
We wish that this gospel of respect
for the right of others to the undisturbed
use of their time could be so effectively
preached that want of attention to it
might be taken as proof of want of
breeding. When a man has an Office
and leaves home to pass some hours in
it every day, the presumption that he
has something to occupy him there
during all these hours is so strong that
it ought to be conclusive. Yet con-
viction precisely the opposite of this
appears to be prevalent, and all pro-
fessional men will hold in high regard
the teacher who shall remove tn. Y.
EUening Post.