National Republican., 1880-11-02
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

IN making wills somo arc left out and others
arc left tin.
MOUNT vEsuvIus appears to bo very sicl;
at the stomach.
THE next you know Barnum will be build.
ing joss" house in Garfcld's back yard.
A SALOON without back door is n dull
place on an election day Temperance Journal
WHAT Is the difference between fixed star
aud meteor2 One is n son, the other is
dartor.
A BosToN girl became insane because she
could not afford to wear real lace on her un.
dercl othing.
WHY is the discovery of the north polo like
an Illicit whisky manutactory? Because it's
Il secret still.
As Il matter of fact a woman will sit along.
side OF man in II car, though a seat bo vacant
next TO Il woman.
SENATOR LAMAR is stumping Mississippi.
though physically so weak that he has to talk
sitting in chair.
"IiANDs wanted on boys pants" Is the daily
advertisement in the newspapers. Twas over
thus from chidhood's hour.
DURING the last fiscal year the profit of tho
postal service in tho. northern states WAS
81, ,53l.7j1, and the loss in the southern states
g, gs5 7sG
IL Schlcy county, Ca, freedman, with
one mule, this year made twcnty.threc bales
Of olton, weighing over 500 pounds each and
200 bushels of corn.
The cathedral of Cologne was commenced
$50 years ago and has just been completed,
The contractor who began the work is dead.
Scientific american,
GEORGE p. MARSH, minister in Italy, ac-
cordn3 to correspondent Of tho Boston
Herald will resign the position he has held so
long and well next spring.
TINE, l u. m.-"AIy dear" said he, as all
right. Ivo been down getting tn returns.
There's no ushn raisn' row. 'Tain't my
fault What you wantsh earlier returns"
MONEY is being so freely contributed for
the purpose of clothing and civilizing be.
| nighted Africans that tits becoming profitable
TO go to Africa aud be Il heatheu.--B Boston Post
ANOTHER cruel blow has been struck at 81
| Louis. A worlds baby show is to be held in
| Boston next winter, at which one of the
points to be considered in awarding prizes will
be smallness of feet
MARY ANDERSON is furious because drug
gists have been using her advertising busts
for the purpose OF displaying electric stomach
pads in their showwindows She considers
1t degradation of high art.
THE nowly.awived Spanish princess re-.
poses in 7,O00'franc cradle, but when her
poor little stomach aches five cents worth of
peppermint settles tho business just as we'll as
If she was Of no account ut all.
A coNCERT was given in London few days
ago by Miss Emma Thursby to large audi.
ence. The critics aver that further study and
experience only arc necessary TO justify the
highest hopes Of Miss Thursby,
IN order to aid in tho defeat of John A.
Kasson for congress, G. IL. Mallory, the dem
ocratic candidate in tho Des Mones district,
has Withdrawn his name, leaving Gillette,
grecnbacker, to contest tho field.
A PROMINENT democratic citizen, when
asked If he was going to decorate, replied
"Yes; when the procession passes I'll raise the
| window, stick out my red head, show the
whites of my eyes, and look blue.--0H Cty
| Derrick.
He walked into a Galveston saloon and
asked for some beer 1t was handed him, and
he put IL where il was most needed How
much?' he asked wping his mouth. Give
dollars" Give deyilsl Who do you take me
foi?' "Fivo cents, colonel. | took you for u
Templar returned from Chicago, and thought
you hadn't got out of the habit yet Of paying
! full rates"