Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-10-13
BY MARK TWAIN.


'tain't no difference what-Pm strong
and hearty, and I don't turn my back On
no kind of work, hard nur soft.
"Do you think you would like to
learn the printing business %
"Well, I don't rely k'yer durn
what do learn, SOS [ git chance fur
to make my way. I'd iist as soon learn
print'n's anything"
s'Can you read ?"
s. Yes-middlin'.
'Write?"
Well, I've seed people could lay
over me thar
''Cipher?''
don't reckon, but as fur as twelve times
twelve [ amt no SLOUGH. 'Tother side of
that is what gifts me-
"-Where is your home?'
Tim from old Shelby"
Whats your fathers religious de-
nomination %
''Him Oh he's blacksmith.
"No, no-I don't mean his trade
What's his religious denomination ?"
OH didn't understand you befo'.
He's Freemason.
"No-no, you don't get my meaning
yet. What [ mean is, does he belong to
any church %
'Now you're talkin'. Couldn't make
out what you was trying to git through
yo' head no way. B'long to a church
Why boss, he's been the pizinest kind
of Freewill Baptis' for forty years.
They amt no pizener onesn he is.
Mighty good man, pap is. Everybody
says that. If they said any different
1,134 T IL
much they wouldn't
What is your own religion %
g Well, boss, you've kind O. got me
thar-and yit you hain't got me so
mighty much nuther [ think t if a
TELLER helps another when he's in trouble,
and don't cuss, and don't do any mean
things, nor nuth'n he amt no business
to do, and don't spell the Savior's name
with little 6, he amt runnin' no resks
he's about as saift as if he b'longed to
church.
"But suppose he did spell it with a
little g-what then %
"Well, if he done it a purpose, I
reckon he wouldn't stand no chance
he oughtn't to have no chance, anyway,
I'm most rotten certain bout that
'sWhat is your name 2"
. NlcOdemus Dodge.
CT think maybe you'll do. Nico-
demus. Well give you trial, any
way.
ssAn right"
When would you like to begin %
CHOW"
So. within ten minutes after we had
first glimpsed this nondescript, he was
one Of us, and with his coat off and hard
at it.
Beyond that end of our establishment
which was furthest from the street was
deserted garden, painless, and thickly
grown with the gloomy and villianous
"iimpson weed and it's common friend
the stately sunhower. In the midst of
this mournful spot was decayed and
aged little g frame % house with but one
room, one window andno ceiing-it had
been smoke-house generation before.
Nicodemus was given this lonely and
ghostly den as bed-chamber.
The village smarties recognized a
treasure in Nicodemus, right away-a
butt to play jokes on. 1t was easy to
see that he was inconceivably green and
confding. George Jones had the glory
of perpetrating the first joke on him.
He gave him cigar with fre-cracker
in it, and winked to the crowd to come;
the thing exploded presently and swept
away the bulk of Nicodemus' eyebrow
and eyelashes. He simply said.
ST consider them kind of seeg' vars
dangersome," and seemed to suspect
nothing. The next evening Nicodemus
waylaid George and poured bucket of
ice water over him.
One day, while Nicodemus was in
swimming. Tom McElroy cited his
clothes. Nicodemus made bonfire of
Toms by way of retaliation.
A third joke was played upon Nicode-
mus day or two later-he walked up
the middle aisle of the village church,
Sunday night, with staring handbill
pinned upon his shoulders. The Joker
spent the rest of the night, after church.
in the celler of the deserted house, and
Nicodemus sat on the cellar door till to-
ward breakfast time, to make sure that
the prisoner remembered that if any
noise was made some rough treatment
would be the consequence. The cellar
had two feet of stagnant water in it, and
was bottomed with six inches of soft
mud.
But [ wander from the point. 1t was