The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-07-01
Why Mr.. Withers Took the Chair
Home With Him.

What Is known among tailors as the
chip pocket is exclusively character
istic of the American species of man.
Mr.. Withers is not a Western man,
and is wholly unacquainted with whis-
ky; but his recent experience of the in
compatibility of hip-pocket and glass
bottles was very painful and embarrass-
ing. He had returned to his Orange
county home from brief visit to New
York, and had brought with him as a
present for Miss Wilson-to whom he
was betrothed--a bottle of that remark
able cement which is sold by sidewalk
merchants, and which is by them repre-
sented as being much stronger than
wrought iron. 1t had occurred to him
that this cement would be very nice
thing to have in his future house, since
with it all sorts of broken china and
glass could be mended, and every one
knows that children will break a great
deal of china. On the evening of his
arrival home he put the cement bottle i'll
his hip pocket and called on Miss Viii
son, intending to offer it to her as soon
| bo il' CIlltltt tllc llOuSt.
Mr.. Withers was ardently attached to
the young lady, and, when he saw her
before him, he not unnaturally forgot all
about such merely earthly matters AS
cement. The old people welcomed him
| politely, and, after a few moments Of
conversation, Withdrew with discretion
which it is to be wished that all old peo-
pie would emulate.
The bottle was a stout one, and
would perhaps have withstood any or
binary pressure, but, as Miss Wilson
weighed fully 140 pounds, and as the
back of the small rocking-chair was of
hard wood, it is not strange that the
bottle yielded Mr.. Withers was so
much interested in the weather and
othersubiects such as usually absorb the
attention of young men in his position,
that he did not notice the breaking of
the glass, and it was not until an hour
later, that false alarm of father i'll the
front hall induced Miss Wilson to flee
to the sofa, and suggested to Mr.. With
ers the advisability of turning up the
lamp.
The cement had done its work, and
Mr.. Withers did not get up to attend
to the light, but requested the young
lady to discharge his duty for him.
She did so, and then noticed his panied
and preoccupied expression. To her
anxious inquiries he admitted that he
felt little faint and would like glass
of water. Miss Wilson hurriedly went
for the water, reproducing herself for
being so heavy, and accusing herself Of
selfshness and want of considera-
| ton. In her absence the young man
made superhuman efforts to wrench
himself loose, but the cement refused
to yield. When Miss Wilson returned
with the glass of water, he looked so
much worse that she was really fright
ened and he was compelled to tell her
| the real state of the case.
She was practical person, and she
promptly proposed to get tea-kettle of
hot water and dissolve the cement, but
desisted when he explained to her that
his system would not bear the applica-
tion of water at the boiling point She
then timidly suggested that if she were
to call "pa, perhaps pa might lend you
pair" but Mr.. Withers said no he
could not bear the modification of being
found in such situation by any father.
1t was finally agreed that he should wait
until late hour, and should then take
the chair home with him. This was ac-
cordingly done, and. had not the unfort-
unate young man been arrested by a
local constable, who only discharged him
when severe test proved that his
possession of the chair was purely invol-
untary, his misfortune might never have
become generally known. When disas-
ters such as this are liable to happen to
the wearers Of hip-pockets it becomes
doubtful whether they are not altogether
too hazardous for general use. In fact,
good authorities maintain that the hip,
pocket is positively detrimental, and
that an earnest and united effort should
be made to secure its e1tirpation.