The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-09-23
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

bulldog, King Charles, terrier, or
setter.
UNDER certain circumstances a lamp
post will never go back on fellow. But
then we should not make light OF such
o serious subject. -Huckensack Repub-
Hcan.
The most recent case of economy is
that of a lady in Harlem, who takes the
inside Of the lemons to make lemon pie,
and gives the peel to the servant girl for
lemonade.
The truest self-respect lies not in ex-
acting honor that is undeserved, but in
striving to attain that worth which re-
ceives honor and observance as it's righ-
full due.
"No," SHE said, as she slipped the
cream it would take his last dime to pay
for; emo, never eat cake myself, but
ma says she is getting awfully hungry
waiting for a piece Of my wedding cake. %
SURPRISE CAKE.-One egg, one cup of
sugar (rounded), one-half cup Of butter,
one cupof sweet milk, one teaspoon saler-
atus, two teaspoons cream-of- tartar, two
and half cups of -four, two teaspoons
lemon extract. ~. 81 ID. .. ..s- a.
The Duke of Wellington was once refused
admission into the Commander-in- Chiefs
Office by soldier new to London while
Queen Victoria's predecessor, William the
Fourth, was kept waiting outside certain
part of Windsor Castle through an officials
ignorance of the royal identity. ''You
can't pass, old un," said he. ''Nobody's al
lowed to pass here after dark except the
King and the lamplighter." .-.s- .-....,.
A MAN was saving wood in a back
yard. He severed two sticks as thick as
your wrist and then went into the house.
"Mary," said he to his wife, "my coun-
try needs me there's no use of talking !;
we've just got to slaughter all these
Injuns no true patriot can be expected
to hang around wood-pile these days. -
"John," said his wife, eff you fight
Injuns as we'll as you saw wood and sup
port your family, it would take 118 like
you to capture one squaw, and you'd
have to catch her when she had the
ague and throw pepper in her eyes. -
John went back to the wood-pile Won
dering who told his wife all about him.
GEN. WALKER, Superintendent of the
Census, meets the clamor about the
census from various cities that claim to
have been misrepresented with perfect
calmness and good humor. He is used
to that sort Of thing. He had to listen
to the same complaints in 1870, but in
every instance they proved to be I'M
founded. He has the power to order a
complete new enumeration in every case
where the evidence Of carelessness and
lmperfection seems to be sufficient. In
1870 he ordered such recounts in New
York and Philadelphia, but there was no
change in the result, the second enumera-
ton corroborating the first. Gen.
Walker says his business is not to decide
the rivalries of various cities, or meet
their expectations, just or unjust, but to
obtain accurate an basis for representa-
ton in Congress, and he will endeavo1
to do this to the best of his ability.
CINCINNATI has an excellent fire de-
partment. The discipline is rigid, and
the best apparatus is used. A central
tower is supplied with elaborate electric
devices for receiving and sending out
alarms. An operator is on duty there all
the while. In order to keep him con-
stantly awake and vigilant, and to learn
promptly of any breaks in the alarm tele-
graph wires, he is compelled to test the
circuits every twenty minutes, and to
call every engine house through the tele-
phone every hour. An ingenious auto
matte register records, on a card out Of
the operators reach, each test of cir
cult Hope D. Lockwood has for six
years been the night operator, and dur
ing most OF that time a box, marked
"Toois," has stood locked under his
desk. The Superintendent broke it open
the other day, and found that it was filed
with clockwork. Searching further, he
found that it could be connected by con-
cealed wires with the registry dial. Its
use was to make dial register tests that
were not really made. 1t would also ring
q bell every hour. By its means Lock
wood was awakened to make hourly calls,
but could skip the twenty-minute tests
MIR. HowLER, q beplastered and pasted
up victim of mans inhumanity to man,
appeared in San Francisco police court
demanding justice. He was professor
OF elocution, into whose apartments,
while instructing pupil, burst Nc
Pelter, who threw the pupil down stairs,
danced on Howler and hammered him
into hash with bed-slat. McPelter
then produced two witnesses from his
coat-tail pocket-a slice of wooden par
titon and copy of Edgar A. Poe's
poems. The substance of his testimony
was that he had been doomed to hear
&