The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1880-08-14

"Nine." "Why, | ordered medicine
for ten. -" Yes, but one wouldn't takeit. y
THERE was a Mrs. Tanner. but she
objected TO the doctors manner, and
that was what was the matter with Hen
rietta -Nc,r York Commercial Adrcr-
tiSGr.
"IT's not the phisky man drinks
that makes him dizzy, said O'Flahertv,
but it's lukin' at the bartinder's dia-
mond through the bottom " the tum-
blers, begorra -
An Irishman of mechanical turn took
off his gas-metre tOrepalr 1t himself, and
put it on again upside down. At the end
of the quarter it was proved that the
company owed him S15.75.,
THE man who would shed tears at the
sight of the American flag would pToba
bly, jaw around for half day if his wife
wanted bunting dress. DCh'OH Free
Press
You've Farmer-"Are you fond Of
beasts, Miss Gusherton?" Miss Gush
erton-"Ob, really, Mr.. Pawker, if Won
mean that as a declaration, you must
speak to mamma.
Down by the river side they met.
Sweet Romeo and Juliet,
Her hand in his he placed and said:
"Sweet Juliet, would thee we'd"
Indeed ? " she quCricd. " All lots GO:
Get in this boat. Oh! Ro" me, oh !"
A MAN who was noted for not being an
noyed by tramps, was asked how he man
aged it. cob" said he, q barrel
them Barrel them what kind of
barrels do you use? % "Gun- barrels.
A GENTLEMAN who married widow
complained to her that he liked his beef
well done. "Ah! / thought ] was
cooking for Mr.. Brown" said she; che
liked bis rare. But, darling, / will try
and forget the poor dear
An an excursion of the Liquor Dealers
association the other day vote was
taken on the cars with the following re-
suit: Neal Dow, $50; Weaver, u: Gar
field, 2; Hancock, 4. Fraud Is suspected
-NOrrjStOeCn Heyaid
ONE FROM ADMINISTRATIVE is looking
into the parlOr, and the maid, who Is
busy setting the table for dinner, places
a vase of flowers in the centre. Native:
Gay, it's real bonnie; but, Maggie, VIVA
eat the flowers p
The truth must be told, Ruddinoze Is
fond of the cup Hearing the reading
of the story of Dives and Lazarus, the
other day, he remarked. "Well. il g
worth knowing that there are situations
where a man Graves water. - Boston
/ Transcript.
"Do for gracious sake take these nut
/ crackers over to that man, exclaimed
nervous old lady, sitting opposite party
who was cracking nuts with his teeth
"No, [ thank You, he said, politely re
! turning them, "my teeth are not false
( ones.
"THERE," said Vogle, the other even
/ ing, as he entered the room. "that jobs
done, and now for good, lazy summer
OF course all wanted to know what the
"IOb was. Oh, it was nothing he
said, "only my diary, you know I've
Just finished writing it up till next No
vember.'
This is q nice time of night for you
to be coming in, said a mother to her
daughter, who returned from a walk ut
10 o'clock. "When | was like You,
continued she, "my mother would not
allow me out later than O'Clock. y
cob. you had a nice sort of mother,
mllrmured the girl. 81 had, yuu young
jade, said the molher, ga nicer mother
than you ever had.
A GENTLEMAN saw an old darky down
on a Galveston wharf fishing. What
/ luck, uncle o. he asked " No luck at oil
boss. Fish is gittin' skurser and skurser
cherry yeah. " "Then they used to be
more plentiful?" "You bet dey was
In 1912 counted in Galveston bay some
times fifty reddish in an hour, and when
dar wasn't any fish at all dar, | nebber
i cptpbp1 laac don, -
A PATENT medicine advertisement
reads thus: "When a lethargic feeling
pervades your system; when you have
Discrimination to move about: when YOU
! have adherence to exercise, your liver
is Inactive This will be glad tidings
/ to many people who have always thought
/ they were lazy when they felt that WAY
/ Now they will know that il was only their
liver that was lazy, -Njddicto,cH Ty0n-
/ script.
THE Norwich Bicycle club have adopt
ed a rule in cases where horses are liable
to he frightened by the biCycler II Is
to have the driver of such horse-raise ms
hand twice, when the bicycle rider viii
/ get down, put his bicycle under his coat,
clasp his bonds behind, and appear to he
/ looking intently in another direction as
If he didn't know what was going on
/ However, it is not the bicycle that scares
I the horse, but the legs of the rider
Danb"Jy Nc10S.
THE Galveston people are the most
polite in the world. a few evenings age
at little social gathering, a Fashionable
young GalvestOnian could not find his
hat. He had not had a drink for more
than half aa hour, so he had to retire fer
that purpose. Finally be discovered
that lady weighing about two hundred
pounds was sitting on his hat. He ar
preached her very politely, and said:
I" Madame, Will you be kind enough t"
let me have my hat for few minute
As soon as ] return | Will put it right
back where ] got it from.
An American arrived, the other day.
at a little hotel in French provlnclal
town. Tired and dusty with travel, he
demanded a room and plenty of water 70
wash with: "Water. We have not
drop" said the landlord. Mutterlng
expressions of dissatisfaction he reached
his room and Immediately beloved, n
voice which could have been near" .
mile: Fire Flre!! Fire.
dozen servants rushed up stairs ami mo
his room. bearing IN their hands vesset'
of all sorts. filed with water with Whl'I
TO exting1lish the flames. An S'','
the guest. turning compOsedly mp.
them, .svou NAV leayethe water lh'''
! you; that is all.