The Newtown bee., 1880-03-03
BRAINS FURNISHED CHEAP.
How One Man in New York Makes .
 Living.

How One Man in New York Makes
 Living.
 In Bleecker street, in the third-story back room of what was once an aristO- cratic private dwelling house, the public in need of brains can find the same at reasonable rates. A reporter who re- gently climbed the creaking stairs and
 knocked at the door of this back room was invited to enter by deep-toned, pleasant voice. Stepping across the threshold. the visitor found himself in the abode of Brains. The room was
 bare and cheerless, containing only bed, washstand, three or tourl wooden chairs, stove, and a large pine table, which was Uttered with manuscripts,
 newspapers, pens, ink bottles, and
 well-thumbed dictionary. The owner of the deep toned voice was seated in
 one of the chairs, with his feet resting on the top of the table, and 8 newspa- | per in his hand.
 "Mr. Brains, believe" said the re-
 porter.
 At your service, sir"
 The reporter drew from his notebook | a slip cut from the advertising columns of one of the dramatic journals, and
 read it aloud. It was IS follows: | "Dramas, sketches, songs, burlesques, lec- | lures, speeches, poems, etc., etc., written to | order on the shortest notice- Terms low. | Apply to Brains, No - Bleecker street"
 "That is my card, sir,n said the oc-
 cupant of the room. ''I Is there anything
 1 can do for you?"
 II should like to get little senti-
 ment in the poetieal line, to write In
 young lady's autograph album," re-
 sponded the reporter, with some natural diffidence.
 "Ah, yes, I see. You can furnish the autograph yourself, but you would , rather I would do the sentiment. Ex- ; actIy And about how long would you ? like itP I can make it an acroste, II ' you prefer. Acrostics come a little } higher. but they are just the thing, you ? know, for albums"
 g The reporter decided on an acrostic, 3 and gave Mary as the name of the album s owner. s "How much will it bep Well, I'll f turn you off a four liner. while you wait, e for fifty cents"
 b These terms proved satisfactory, the 0 visitor took chair, while Mir. Brains c turned to the table and at once set him.
 self to work on the acrostic.
 "Shall I make it tenderp" he asked
 "Tolerably so," replied the customer:
 By actual timing the poet occupied l. just six minutes in the production of the n acrostic Then he threw down his pen e and sumbitted the work to his visitor IT The virtues of the supposititious Mary d were thus embalmed:
 ~ TO MARY.
 May all thy days as spotless be eo As was this page, ere marred by me; ~ Rose-tinted may thy future gleam, Yet rosier still the present seem. Is Do YOU find work enough in this 9' line to make lving9" inquired the re . porter, when he had expressed his sat IS isfaction with the stanza, and paid the S ts half dollar therefor,
 De "Well. yes," was the cheerful re. ie sponse. "I manage to live after { IS, IS, fashion. The worst thing about 1t | le that my income is extremely uncertain m Sometimes I don't get five dollars ce worth of orders in a month. And then h. again, have turned out twenty dollars n- h. worth of work in day. Averaging ch the wear round, I suppose earn eighteel IIl' or twenty dollars a week. That, how no ever. includes an occasional lucky sal IVY to the magazines and story papers u Itn order work-that is, jobs which ar Q done under contract-I make my rates Ill as a rule, considerably lower than ge | for pieces sold for publication l ca .h ne afford to do this, because, you know me the chances of having an article rejecte M by an editar are always y aGssEet Ia5gsEEe than jo b
 work, on the contrary, is sure to pa,
 although small"
 But, where do these orders com oI from?"
 ere "Oh, from all sorts of people. Ikee 'ty a standing gadvertisement like the one 70 GIT cut out, in three or four of the dramati ose o and Sunday papers. These bring me gre considerable number of orders froI Nne N variety performers for new songs an nd sketches. Occasionally, tco, som fatrr rhs, IS trN hr ne come star, calls on me to write him Ilo play adapted to his special line. NJ Ia bonanza comes when strike a bobbin. iss "What is bobbin?"
 'iu :t Well, it is a name of my own whicl .N l have give to certain class of GUS IS. toners. l call them bobbins becaus no the thread of their vanity is so lon! ah 'a that it will keep unwinding indefinitely n nn- And for me it often turns out a goldel ,e- thread. Here, for example, is speecl as that have just finished for highly re up spectable old gentleman to deliver at us society dinner next week. He is one O ,,al ,al the very best bobbins I ever found. ,s. ,s' have been writing speeches for hin i now, on and off, five years. He is rich pc has retired from business, and has de cI- veloped a great taste for after-dinne al- oratory. I don't believe he could oy speak dozen words himself without Gh committing some ridiculous blunder d- But I have foated him along, unti
 now he really enjoys the reputation O
 being always prepared with nea speech. I charge him 8 good round ,ss' price, but he pays it cheerfully. Ther o, I have another bobbin in the person O " 6 young man, who lives in Fifth avenue lk and who drives down here frequently il Y, his own coupe. He is mild, inoffen ne sive young chap, who, with fortun CT of quarter of million, wants to b. :. It considered poet. He never strung to 70 gether rhyme in his life, and ye l9 within the past two years be has read na at various up town gatherings, not les 'eS than half dozen occasional poems oi Of course they are supposed to be orig :.ee, inal, and I can assure you that some O Ill them are extremely original charg him anywhere from five to fifteen dol ne lars. according to length. ."-Neso For ai; Sun. nd Fires and Insurance. he Mir. Edward Atkinson, president o