The Russellville Democrat., 1880-09-16
WAYS OF THE WORLD.

1 A FOOL and his hair are soon parted in the middle.
 ALL varieties of potatoes wear out and become weak in about 9 years. ASPARAGUS ice-cream with rum sauce was feature of recent Saratoga bill ot fare.
 SANCTUARY shoes" are advertised in England. They are warranted not to squeak.
 "JUsT dropped in for bite," as the shark said when he drew near water ing-place. CAPE MAY is having it's most brilliant season, and people there don't want a change"
 ONE of the latest Jesuit purchases is the palace of Ogna, near Burgos another a hotel in Wales.
 BUILT Upon the Bluffs" is the title of a novel recently issued. It is not dedi- cated to Gen. Schenck.
 VANDERBILT will probably have Cleo patra's needle bored and crawl through it to spoil the Biblical text.
 TIE epicure rnay wear out the coat of his stomach, but he can soothe the de- nuded surface with cape-on. THE Chicago Raileay Age says that railway" is fast becoming as much an l American word as is railroad" WHEN a storekeeper announces arti- cles at the "cost price" he often means at the original price with a he added. TIE Pope's hair is snow white. He | has strong and vibrating voice, and bears himself with the utmost dignity. EDISON ought to hitch his fast electric | locomotive to his slow electric light, and see if he could drag it out of obscurity.
 SEVERAL professors of the Kazan Uni versity, Russia, are preparing to trans late Shakespeare into the tartar language. | TIE Boston Trapeller says Willard Ell more was the handsomest of all the American Presidents and Mir. Lincoln | the homeliest
 TIE Longfellow brothers, Prof. Henry | w., the poet, Rev. Samuel and Alexan- der, are now together at their old home, Portland, Me. CoM. AsHEuRY, who lost his seat in Parliament at the last English election, is consoling himself with trip to the Arctic regions.
 TIE daughters of the peot Pushkin | Countess Nuremberg and the widow of Gen. Hartung) have been granted pen sions by the Czar.
 | EDMUND YATES regards the profess sional beauties as the pick of London in respect of looks, and as genial and pleas ant members of society.
 THE packet boat Afrique, bound from Marseilles to Constantlnople, lately ran on the r, cks of Monte Crsto's prison, the Chateau DIf No one hurt.
 To short-sighted person the mildest- visaged clerk looks, with a pen-holder held amidships in his mouth, like the bloody buccaneer of dime-novel notor- iety.
 THERE IS a fortune in store for the genius who shall produce boiler-iron shoe for the small boy. Something warranted to last two weeks is what is | wanted.
 Ar the Irish watering-places it is found that most Irish girls surpass the English girls in swimming. They jump at once into six feet of water and swim with the tide.
 I TIE London Truth says Ameiicanese is very easily acquired, and a residence of couple of years in Chicago will even teach London cockney to place his "h's" properly.
 TIE London Truth has found new American beauty in the person of Miss Parsons, who appeared at the recent Bachelors ball at Albert Grants Ken sington mansion.
 HEINRICH HERMANN, the bookseller of Leipsic, has collected over 500 likenesses of notable persons belonging to the book trade in all styles except photography which is excluded.
 TIE Boston Globe says that camping out in a canvas tent during ones vaca- ton is like kissing 9 pretty girl at a candy scrape-you have good time but you come out of it rather the worse for wear.
 THE teaching of morals and manners is included in the course of the Sar Francisco grammar schools. Book keeping has been made special study in the first grammar grades and in tho high schools. THE Boston Pos says Mrs. Jennie Nc Grau FIske, the wife of Prof. Fiske, O Cornell university, is building a S200,00(
 That's the kind of woman for a pooi , school-teacher to marry. A STRANGER calling at the house of [ gentleman the other day, met German friend at the gate and inquired of tn,
 latter: "Is Mir. - in?' "Yes,o was tn, reply. When about to pull the bell tn, , Teuton called him back and sad: "H' is in, but he is det." 3 AN American colonel" sent his hop and heir to a Paris hoarding-school sThere are lot of swells in our school, : said the hope; "they are are all princes 7 counts. marquises and so forth" An I what do they call you, my son?" aske : the colonel swelling with the import ]. anoe of title gained.by six months l service in our war. "lmbecile,r ar
 swered the boy, sententiously,