The Indianapolis leader. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1879-1890, 1880-02-14


70 ughs as the lateArtemas Ward.
WANTED-To hear of an American
school boy, beginning the study of the
map of Europe, who does not call Bava-
ria "Baravy."
Democratic lawyer was recently sent
to the penitentiary from Cleveland for
robbing orphans. What has the peniten-
tiary done that i, should be thus afflicted :?
Grass, like all vegetables, ripens earlier
in New Orleans than in this latitude. The
mardi-gras crop was gathered there this
week with the usual early harvest festivi-
ties.
Hogs, music, lard, Kirby police bill, fine
art, hides, Cincinnati Southern K. r. and
Sherman boom constitute the intellectual
pabulum of the ''leading dailies" OF Paris
OF America.
We know now why-it is that Christian.
ity is 30 unpopular with some people
Christ did not consult the German vote"
when he made his appointments to the
Board of Apostles.
From the developments in the Shep-
herds Fold, it seems that society for the
evention of CowQey)ardly brutality of
shepherds toward lambs, is eminently
necessary in New York City.
The roads are in such woe begone and
bottomless condition now, that when coun
try people come to town they have to
adopt the political tactics of Governor
Hendricks-get on the fence.
If a strong" man is needed, why not
nominate Representative Strong OF Wis
consin? That is if he is a Republican. If a
wise candidate is needed, why not trot ont
ex Gov. Solomon of Wisconsin?
What is symphony concert, anyhow?
We know what bore thim-funny con-
cert is, but the symphony is something we
have not yet tasted We have no doubt,
however, that it is perfectly splendid
The reception of Parnell by the House of
Representatives is denounced in Europe
as ''mere comedy" If it was comedy
at all, we think that Joe Murphy and Par
nell would unite in calling it Irish comedy.
The conviction is quietly settling down
upon the minds OF observant people that
Sam Perry, the exodus Moses, is "frod."
We give it as our unbiased opinion that
Samuel is crooked, crooked as a wild grape
vine on crab apple tree.
marriage license was issued recently
to Ernest M. Dug and Freelove Jane Tay-
lor in Vigo county. If the first part of the
lady's name indicates her amatorial tastes
correctly, this Ernest trifer will not be the
only man who will Dug her.
General Grant has created commotion
in every country he has visited, but it re-
manned forCuba to give him the grandest
reception of all There, even the "innards"
of the earth responded to the hero's COM
ing and raised h an earthquake.
Farmers who need more horses, but can
wait till after the presidential conventions,
will save money by so doing. The supply
of dark horses" that will be thrown upon
the market after the nominations will
make equine quadrupeds very cheap.
North Carolina has six newspapers ed
tied by Negroes, Louisiana three, Tennes-
see and Texas two each; AMI Virginia Ala
bama, Mississippi one each.-Newspaper
item.
Is this intended as an insult to Indiana?
1t is feared by navigators that ships from
New York will eventually have to 60 to
He'll Tgate1 before they can get to sea. We
had heretofore supposed that New York
was itself sufficiently Hell-enized for all
possible satanic purposes, without going
anywhere.
Peoria, Ills. is struggling to be made a
port of entry. We are at a loss to know
why these Peoria suckers want their strag-
Cling little hamlet to be made port of
entry. From the amount of whisky they
manufacture and drink we should rather
think they need port of exit.
An Arkansas Spartan recently married a
woman who has buried 13 husbands
Chicago Tribune.
What will the woman do when she gets
where there's Spartan no more.-Cincin-
natl Commercial.
Marry another fellow, of course.
Feed the hungry man who comes to
your door. You may be entertaining an
Ohio man unawares.-Cincinnati Com
mercial.
Don't worry; net single Ohio man has
been turned away from the Indiana peni-
tentiary hungry. They are always given
plenty to eat and job of work.
The bulls and bears are wrestling over
the price of beer in Cincinnati. The bulls
want to run it up to SO barrel, while the
bears, who, at present, have the under
holts, say it shall remain at So. This will
be gratifying intelligence to the knights OF
the blue and red ribbon, who patronize the
two-for-fve-cent bars.
The queen of England opened parliament
last week, with speech from the throne,
| in which there was not a solitary illusion
to the Kirby police bill. There is conse-
quently much quiet indignation in Paris
of America and her majesty's. action is
| generally construed az a studied insult to
our institutions and flag.
The lessee of the Kentucky penitentiary
has made it so decidedly warm for his
guests that the State, fearing they would
not live to serve out the terms for which
they were severally elected, has ordered
the discharge of large number and is
also inauiring into the generous and affec
tionate conduct of the lessee.
- "BUNCUMBE."-A sing ular marriage o c.
Cured recently in Buncombe county N
c. A one-legged man was married to 6
one-legged woman, both standing upor
crutches, before q large crowd at the
! church where the ceremony was perform
i ed. 1t is gratifying to know that there
are at least two good legs in the firm.
The Marriage Fee has to be Paid hut Once
1t was happy thought, that of the youns
bridegroom who took from his rather scantl
purse bill of pretty large denomination
Il u Il