Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-01-30
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A DIsCONTENTED BABY daryl.
January-Just born. Here's a lark Pa
pa does not seem very well pleased, though.
1. February-Every night pa walks up
and down the bedroom with me when 1
squat. always squall. must do. some-
thing. ss '
l. March. Nurse is spiteful thing
she sticks pins into fellow on purpose.
1. April-After all, one may even weary
of the bottle.
l. May-I wish I could cut atooth. I'd
bite nurse.
/. June-What nuisance it is to have
relations who keep on saying ''Ketchetty.
ketchetty," and dig in your ribs with their
forefngers. When grow up I'll do it to
them and see how they'll like it.
l. July-Here are three babies next
door got the measles. Iget nothing. It's
awfully dull. 4t4laa s'ig.s4Al
1. August-One Of the babies from next
door came in to see us to-day; and I heard
ma say. HE hasn't got the measles now?"
sNo,'' said the baby's ma. There's a
greedy sneak for you. Lett them at home +!
l. September Nurse drinks something
out of black bottle. I've caught her at
it. 1t isn't the same that is in my bottle
either. If l were bit bigger I'd change
'em.
l. October--Blessed if this amt a nice
60, neither. Some one called to-day to see
ma and pa, and they said it was uncle. and
gave me to him to kiss. He didn't kiss me
though, with what you might call good
will. Then they asked him again, and then
they gave me to him to nurse, and he
pinched me. , Il. M TneI
/, November-This is worse than ever.
Why, here's another baby now, and they
say be belongs to our house and they're
not going to send him away. DON'T even
know how to feed himself out of the bottle
Well, of all-never mind.
1. December to sleep in the same
crib with him now! Wait till he goes to
sleep; I'll give him such a gonerl
Here's beast of baby! He won't 60
to sleep, and not soul in the same crib
can get blessed wink.-Lady's Almanac
A SPEEDY CURE.-A young lad entered
a car on one of the roads leading out Of
OH City the other day, and discovered
every seat filled except two, which had
been turned to face each other.-Onon Of
these seats sat man with his feet resting
on the outside arm of the opposite seat
completely shutting off any attempt to en-.
ter it. The boy walked up to the stranger
and asked:
sis this seat taken?'' Tn.1l3 40
NO." was the gruff response, as he
eyed the little fellow, shut I am SO stiffen-
ed with the rheumatism that cannot
move, and the man who helps me around
is to get on at the next station.''
The youngster winked softly with one
eye and took seat on tho wood.box.
The train started, and was running
slowly out of the city, when the boy sud-
denly jerked open the door and sprang up
on the platform, yelling:
ssGreat Caesar, help! Here's a woman
dragging along on the ground! Help
help!'' 1e
The rheumatic man was the first one on
the platform, while the lad sprang inside,
grabbed stick from the w0Od-bOx and
dropped into the vacant seat, with his
feet resting on the arm of the opposite
one. The man with the rheumatism came
back with his eyes glazing, and was about
to eject the lad by means Of his collar
when he said: tG sal
.You lay your hands on me and I'll bat
YOU with this stick. But if you want to
sit down ask like a gentleman, and III
give you half the seat aAS = =
He asked. 49,, 4,s.zs.e-.,-.
When Sol Smith Russell was last ia. De-
troit he thought to play. a trick on tne
brush boy in barber's shop by Offering
the lad twenty dollar bill after the brnsi,
had done its work. The boy received the
money with his usual 'thanks' and placed
the money in his vest pocket. '.What did
[ give your" asked Sol, after little time.
s.Twenty dollars, sah," was the compla-
cent answer. ''And was that too much?''
"Well, sab. when you handed me dat bill
I s'posed you would be in for an extra
brush long dis afternoon and wanted TO
save maxim change! In case you gwine
to Leah town dis mawnfn' I'll get the bill
busted an hand ober your sheer!'' 1t cost
Sol half dollar to get his bill back, and
there is one gallery god in this city who
will never applaud him again.
IF woman had the ballot what would she
do with it? It isn't long enough for a
belt or big enough for bustle.-NesO York
World.
One of the comical sights of leap-year
will be a girl whispering the tale OF love
into the ear Of deaf man. =