Morning journal and courier., 1880-04-29
OUT OF POLITICS,

An indication of spring-A schoolboy put ting bent pin in his teachers chair.-Syra- cuse Herald.
 A Nebraska monument to horse thief is | simply stake at the head of grave and sign reading: 'It would have been cheaper for him to go afoot."
 If the New Jersey forest fires will only seri- ously damage the mosquito crop, they will be looked back to with gratitude by all summer visitors. Syracuse Herald.
 little girl, attending party, was asked by her mother how she enjoyed herself "Oh," said she, 'I'm full of happiness I couldn't be any happier unless I could grow"
 New Hampshire folks vote split tickets so much that resident of the State has had his name changed from Wilder to Scattering, in the hope of getting elected to some ofioe.- Boston Post.
 Judge-See here, prisoner, if you do any more lying you won't get of with three years. Prisoner-But, jedge, how many years dye s'pose yed gimme If I told the trooth ?-Mc- Gregor News.
 ''Percy Perkins'-Yes, bunch of immor- telles is nice present to send a girl, but if you mean business, it may be well to know that caramels frequently take the persimmon in cases where immertelles wouldn't reach the lower branches. Chicago Tribune.
 A Yankee came running down to pier just as steamer was starting. The boat moved of some four or five yards as he took jump, and coming down on the back of his head on deck, he lay stunned for two or three minutes. When he came to, the boat had gone the best part of a quarter of @ mile, and, raising his head and looking to the shore the Yankee said "Great Jehossphat :! what jump"
 'Items ?" said the boss carpenter to our re- porter, as the knight of the quill propounded the customary interrogatory. 'I haven't any items; but I'd like to have you say that when 8 mans house is building he never thinks the carpenter puts in one-third enough nails, and frequently, and with biting sarcasm, asks him if he doesn't think the house would stand if he just simply leaned it up against itself, and saved all the nails? Then few years after ward, when the same man tears down his summer kitchen to build 8 new one, he growls and scolds and sarcastically wonders why that fellow didn't make the house entirely of nails, and just put in enough lumber to hold the nails together. r."-Kennebec Journal.
 ''De I understan' Brudder Bebee to say dat de pusson am a repositor?" mildly in qured the Rev. Penstock from down the hall
 ''Yes sah, was the prompt response.
 ''Misser Charman," continued the rever- q should like to inquar' de meanin' of dat word repositor befo' it am entered on de min it's of de meetin'."
 ''Brudder Penstock," replied the president, 'dis club imagines dat it knows de difference between a repositor an a depositor Dar' bein' no queshun now befo' de house it will be permanently proper fur you to occupate your seat"
 "Occupate!" :" repeated Penstock, gasping for breath.
 'sDis char said occupate, Brudder Penstock. You will please sot down an admit da reglar bizness of de meetin' to purceed. When dar' am any queshun befo de meetin' which am speechable de gem'len will be giben ebery in- trushun to make a speech. Detroit Free Press.