Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-05-12
FUNNYGRAPHS.

BEGeARs description-The story of
tramp.
WILLS are among the last sad writes.
-BOston Transcript.
MINERS delight in picking "pocket."
cincinnati Commercial.
| A DANGEROUS man-one who takes life
cheerfully.- Vallejo Chronicle.
A DEAD sure thing-mans mortality.
boston Journal of Commerce.
The butcher who trusts loses flesh
Philadelohia Chronicle.
A DESIGN on woodworking around
your neighbours kindling pile after dark.
Boston transcript.
SOME one inquiries: "Where have all
the ladies' belts gomez" Gone to waist,
long ago.-NeU Orleans Picayune.
A wooDEN-shoe factory has been start
ed In Illinois. Tt will use up a great
many feet of lumber.
A PENNSYLVANIA man has hog 50
years old. The Oil City Derrick thinks
this must be ancient Greece"
elbow did you find your uncle,
John % t'In apple-pie order" elbow
10 OluSUJ. Naughty DOys
John.-Bostop transcript.
'TH1s farm for sale, subject to moxt-
cages and cyclones, is the way they now
hang out signs in the southwest.
t,'Oit Free Press.
SPEAKING of the sudden variations In
the weather and the danger of taking
cold, friend says it isn't safe to change
O pocket handkerchief nowadays. Rome
Sentinel.
So many societies for the promotion of
things are established, that Johnnie
wants to know why somebody don't get
up society for the promotion of boys Id
school without making them study so.
ATMosPHERIcAL knowledge is not thor
oughly distributed to our schools. A boy
being asked "What is mist ?" vaguely
responded, can umbrella. "-Popular
Science Monthly.
The Philadelphia Item has good ar
ticle Chow to Preserve Health" But
there was no necessity for publishing it.
Everybody knew how. First borrow
brass kettle, mix up the water, boil, add
two pounds of sugar, and shake well
GA YOUNG lady in Pen Yam, n Y,
wears twelve diamond rings On one fin
ger" She should also wear O. gold band
around her head, to prevent the crack in
her skull from becoming wider.
tOaU3l Herald
A CLEVELAND clergyman was deposed
because he made such racket in preach
ing that the congregation couldn't sleep.
The Boston Post says when people sit
up six nights in week. to play keno
they want chance to sleep Sunday.
"DD it ever occur to you" asks a
pungent exchange, ''why lawyer who
is conducting will case is like trapeze
performer in circus? Didn't? Well,
it's because he flies through the heir with
the greatest Of fees"
A LITTLE washing soda was wanted for
cleaning purposes; so George was given
a dime and dispatched to the apothecarys
to get it. George soon returns, but no
soda. "Why didn't you get the soda,
George?' chorused the family. 81 did,
"Where is it, then?' 81 drank it.
"Drank it? eyes, the man said
it wouldn't keep to bring home.'
A light dawns on the family's
mind. They ask eagerly: "What did
you ask for?" 'sSoda." "Didn't you
say washing soda?" "No; only soda. F"
Family laughs as though it was crazy.
George doesn't know what all the fun's
about, but he is subsequently heard to
say, "That was boss drink. ''-Bosto1s
Transcript.
The serio-comic ideas that enter the
head of Sambo, when exercised on re-
igious matters, causing anxiety perhaps
to himself but laughter to the listener,
were exemplifed in the case of an "un-
Gle in Chester, S. c., who had been to
camp meeting, and returned greatly
troubled about MS sins. Perceiving HIM
one day with a downcast look, his mas
ter asked him the cause ooh, NIassa,
I'm such great sinner!" ''But, Pete,
you are foolish to take it so much to
heart. You never see me troubled about
my sins" 81 know de reason, Massa:
when you go out duck shooting, and kill
one duck and wound another, don't you
run after the wounded duck % ssYes,
Pete And the master wondered what
was coming next. ''We1l, Massa, dat is
de way wild you and me; de debble has
got you sure, but, as he's not sure of me,
L Il !. Il l. III l.