The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1880-04-21
Another Straw.
The Menagerie Takes Vote on the Presl-
Dental Question.


The elephant came strolling into the big
tent just after the close of the afternoon per-
formance and the animals were talking poll
tics, having caught it from the chatter they
had heard in the audience. They didn't know
great deal about politics in the cages, but
that you know, children, is no bar to talking
politics. Indeed, no. Some of our Congress-
men, who hold on to office the longest and talk
the most and the loudest, don't-but 1 digress.
The elephant listened to the rest of the ami
mails for a little while, and then he said to the
giraffe:
"Who is your candidate for PRESIDENT"
Blaine said the giraffe.
eyes," the elephant said, "that's you. Your
ideas are always way up. You can't get your
head out of the top of pine tree. Just be-
cause Mr.. Blaine was so quick to see where
the giraffe came in in DIR. Garcelon's menage-
rie, you think he will pay particular attention
to you. You take care of yourself my aristo.
cratic friend. Your head isn't as long as your
neck by over 40 feet You can't come the
giraffe over Mr. Blaine. say, Old Faithful"
he continued, addressing the big dog in the
Happy Family" "who is your man?''
The Newfoundland said he was for John
Sherman.
eyes," the elephant said ''because he's in
terested in the currency. If he is elected you
will want the tariff put upon dogwood, just the
same as Peruvian bark. Well, go ahead;
howl for free ballot and an unmuzzled press,
and don't whine if you are beat, as you usually
do. Jean Vatican" he went on, turning to
the tiger, "who do you go for?"
"Any man that comes close to my cage"
replied the amiable animal in the convict's
suit.
Correct you are" said the elephant "but
you can count me out when you begin ballot
ing. Who is the next animal to vote?"
The hyena said he was for Tilden first last
and all the time.
"I'll bet you,' commented the elephant,
anybody might know you would go for
dead man, you wretched apotheosis of an Ohio
medical student. All, you Seventeenth ward
resurrectionist, you'll run against Circle
vile torpedo some of these days that will
knock that smile Of yours into a cooked hat.
Any respectable citizen of the menagere
ready to express his preference before 1 close
the POLISH
The tortoise said he was in favor of Fitz-
John Porter.
"Of course you are" said the elephant, "be-
cause he moved just about fast enough to suit
your gait. If he doesn't move forward any .
livelier for the presidency than he did for Gen.
Pope, he won't hear of the nominations until
six weeks after election. You'd make a good
running mate for him in war time, and you
ought to get along pretty well in politics. The
next geological wonder and living curiosity
will step lively; can't keep these polls open all
night; we've got to dress for the evening per-
formance yet"
The turkey expressed himself warmly for
David Davis.
Fright you are," said the elephant. "And
that's because he keeps you company on the
fence all the time. Moreover, he look more
like me than any of the other candidates, and
it is eminently proper and respectful in you to
support him on that account. Any other
voice from the plains and jungles?"
The gopher shouted as Justify as he could for
Mr. Seymour.
"Sure enough" said the elephant, because
ne stays in his little hole all the time Just like
yourself. Well, gopher him if you wish; this
is a free country, all except the menagerie,
which costs you Just % cents every time you
look at it. Come, now, move along lively or
you lose your votes; polls close in"
The wild ass of the desert here stepped to the
| front and roared his voice for Mr.. De La Matyr
| of Indiana. amid the widest enthusiasm and
The elephant winked at the cages wien a
| merry twinkle in his eye. "That's right, my
brave cactus-eater," he said, ''you are natural
ly and properly one of Mr. De La Matyr's fol-
lowers. Brays him to the skies if you want to.
Nepotism is fashionable in this country now.
Next voter"
The monkey timidly said that if he was al
lowed a vote he would vote for
"Proctor Knott!' roared the whole menag-
erie, but the elephant said sternly, "There,
now; enough of that; no intimidation at the
polls. No one else. Oyez, oyez! The polls are
closed and the judges will now proceed to count
the BALLOT
he then announced the result OF the vote as
follows: Grant, "a.
"Bnt," inquired the animals, chow does that
Gomez"
"Well," said the elephant, eft comes, all the
same, and don't you forget it. Don't weigh
more than all this menagerie put together?
What do you animals know about politics,
anyhow"
And the animals were well pleased to think
they were allowed to vote, anyhow, and they
were delighted that the election was over and
their man elected, so they gave three cheers
for Grant, and rolled around in the straw to
dress for the evenings performance.