Richland beacon., 1880-09-04
GUSHING.

It seems perfectly natural for some
people to guah.
They are boiling springs, so full that
they must run over.
They gush ON every occasion, and
wonder how you can be SO cool about
everything! They do not think You
have any feelings at all. You never
show any!
How delighted they are with every
thing All the days are splendid! All
the people are SO delightful All the
sights they see are charming. All the
singers are such heavenly warblers
All the women are angels and all the
men have such elegant mustaches!
Every object can be glshed over.
Last summer one of the gushers-a
young lady-was riding with MS, and we
came upon drove of pigs. Our friend
went into ecstasies ut once. $50 charm
ing 10 cunning SO wonderful !! so
strange that they could be made into
ham and eggs and sausage aud spare
rib and such an elegant curl in their
tails !" and she told the pig-driver that
they were little darlings !" and got the
indignant reply:
"No, they amt. They're Berkshires,
and as big of their age as any pigs you
ever see. Bet you dollar on it -
Somehow the sympathy Of the public
generally is with the gushers.
They are 80 ingenious, and SO simple
hearted! So free from guile Like
Truthful J..mes, SO "child-like and
bland ~
1t is always good thing to gush over
popular preacher. Everybody adj
mires devotion, if they do not confess it,
and it always makes people think we'll
of you if you praise their minister's SER
mon. Nothing like approaching your
friends minister. 1t is tho next-best
thing to admiring your friends baby.
And there is nothing better to gush
over than baby. Call it the dearest,
sweetest, knowingest, most bewitching
baby in the universe, and all its near
relatives will believe you, and nobody
will think you are exaggerating except
the woman next door, who had baby
about the same time the other one was
born, and who knows that her baby is
the brightest and handsomest baby on
the fOOtstooll
1t is a good thing to gush at funerals.
II you see anybody cry join in yourself,
and cry, if possible, harder than the best
of them! 1t will please the mourners to
see how much you thought of the dead
man: it will almost reconcile them to
the necessity of having funeral, be-
cause you show 80 much sympathy! 1t
tells everybody that you have heart to
feel for the woes Of others and, when
charitable people go around with a
paper" to get money to help the
widow and eight children, you will not
have to give anything! Is not sympathy
better than gold, especially to lonely
widow with eight children to support d?
Nobody will expect you to give any
thing.
They will all remember how you
gushed at the funeral, and when you
tell the "paper" carrier that you have
Just paid some bills and parted with
every cent of your available cash, and
express your grief that it has chap
pened co." If he is man with q soul he
will believe you, and he will feel as if he
ought to put his hand in his pocket and
get you quarter.
Not long ago young man of our &C.
quaintance married a spinster twice his
age, and cross-eyed in the bargain.
When asked why he did 80, he replied
"Why, she cried so when mother was
buried, and seemed so cut up, that ]
knew she had heart worth winning. "
So, you see, that gushing can do q
great deal for the gusher.
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