Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1880-10-13

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Good breeding gives US certain definit
urles, and while these are observed, soci
ETY. is possible, else it degenerates. Bu
we may, without losing self-respect exer
else vast self-contrOl, and not show thai
we distrust people, nor that we vastly like
them; We need not wear our hearts on oul
sleeves for DAVIS to peck At. Members OF
the same family should never quarrel ia
public. This is often done by two sisters
of uncertain tempers, and the crowd
laughs. The French have proverh
about this. perhaps too well known to be
quoted.
Never show that you feel slight This
is worldly wise as well as Christian, for
no one but mean person will put slight
upon another, and such person always
profoundly respects the person who is un-
conscious of his feeble spite. Never
resent publicly lack of courtesy; it is
in the worst taste. What you do private
y about dropping such an acquaintance
must be left to yourself.
To a person of noble mind the contests
of society must ever seem poor and
furious as they think of these narrow
enmit@ and low political manusuvres, but
we know that they exist and that we mnst
meet them. Temper. detraction and
smallspite are as vulgar on turkey car
pet and in palace as they could be in a
tenement house; nay, worse, for the edu-
Gated contestants know better. But that
they exist we know as we'll rs we know
that the diphtheria RACES. We must only
reflect philosophically that it takes all
sorts of people to make world: that
there are good people, rank and file; that
there is valiant army and noble navy
that there are also pirates who will board
the best ships, and traitors in every army,
and that we must be ready for them all ;
and that if We live in crowd we must
propitiate that crowd.
Never show a factious or peremptory
irritability in small things. Be patient if
a friend keeps you waiting. Bear, as
long as you can, heat or draught, rather
than make others uncomfortable. Do not
be fussy about your supposed rights; yield
a disputed point of precedence. All soci-
ETY. has to be made up of these conces-
sions; they are your unnumbered friends
in the long run.
We are not always wrong when we
quarrel; but if we meet our deadliest
foe at friends house we are bound to
treat him with perfect civility. That is
neutral ground. Never, by word or look,
disturb your hostess; this is an occasional
duplicity which is ordered by the laws of
society. And, in all honesty, cultivate a
graceful salutation. not to famil ar in a
crowd. Do not kiss your friend in crowd;
be grave and docorous always. Burke
said that manners were more important
than laws. "Manners are what vex or
soothe, comfort or purify, eXalt or debase,
barbarize or refine us by a constant, steady,
uniform, insensible operation, like the
air we breathe"
A salutation may have Il great deal of
meaning in it. 1t may say, II respect
you, and wish you we'll" 1t may say,
II love you" 1t may say, II hate you"
In crowd it should simply say the first.
The bow of young lady should be maid
enly, quiet, not to demonstrative; yet not
cold or forbiddng. The salutation Of
man to Il woman cannot be too respectful.
1t is to be feared that "old fashioned
courtesy" has no place in our fashionable
society. There is either coldness or too
great familiarity.
The manners of young women are apt
to be careless. They emulate the man
ners of men of the age too much, not
they should carry in their
gentle ways the good manners of all ages.
She should remember that when Il wom-
ans salutation ceases to be delicate, ele-
CANT and finished. she steps down from
ler throne and throws away her scepter.
There is no salutation, however, more
lispeasng than that of a too effiOrescent
md fattering subserviency. "He bows
90 low" should never be said. Avoid
being snob, in private as in crowd
american Etiquette IN Andrews' Anleri-
,aH Qneen.