The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-08-10
CHIPS.

Dignity is the ice that preserves our charac-
ters from decomposition.
The old maid who exclaimed, "My life
has been deserted waist" can readily be
believed.
The rumor that Modieska and Sara Bern
hardt are to he rivals is based on the fact that
Aodjeska is Pole.
A lightning rod agent was struck by light
Mug the other day, and the phenomenon can
only be accounted for on the theory that
the electric fluid got tired of being lied about.
Philadelphia Ne,rs. ,..
Love is a nightmare with one fost
Two children with one bun.
Two turnips with u single root,
Two cabbage heads as one.
"Sooner or later" says a French writer
everything is found out" just so. mar
ried man, for instance, is generally found out
later-aG0ut three hours later-than he
should be.
"Julia, dear, are you in favor of cremation?"
" es, John, ice-cream-ation.'
An English writer says he can find no trace
of man in the monkey, but has no difficulty
in finding abundant traces of the monkey in
man.
"See here, John, is your sweetheart 9 fac
tory grl9' "Yes, William Henry, satisfac-
tory"
Self-made man examining school, of which
he is manager): "Now, boy, what's the
capital of 'Olland?' Boy: can Ii, sir'
a son of the Emerald Isle, meeting a
countrymen whose face was not perfectly re-
membeled, after saluting him most cordially,
inquired his name. "Walsll," said the gem
tleman. "Walsh-Walsh," ," responded Paddy;
are you from Dublin? / know two old
maids there of that name. Was either of
them your mOther?"
MY lad," said lady to boy carrying
some newspapers, care yon the mail boy ?'
"You doesn't think I'ze o female boy, does
YEP"
"Oh, massa, I'm such great sinner!"
But, Pete, you are foolish to take it so much
to heart. You never see me troubled about
my sins" 81 know de reason, nlassa. When
you 20 out duck shooting and kill one duck
and wound another, don't you run after the
wounded duck" "Yes, Pete And the
master wondered what was coming next.
We'll, massa, dat is dc way wild you an me;
de debbl has got You for sure, but as he's not
sure OBJ me, he chases dis chile all de time ~
--Erchange.
a western woman says her baby will enjoy
$50 holler days this year.
.'This is the season." remarks All observing
paragrapher, "when the colleges shoot off the
alphabet, and he must be a man of very low
degree who is not hit with two or three cap-
tai letters
Doctor Y is as bad hunter as he is ply
sican, but this does not prevent him as regu-
larry as the season comes round from
spending fortnight in the fields with his dog
and gun. "And that's the only period of the
year when he doesn't kill anything" said one
of his colleagues, kindly.
A Sacramento girl was guilty of mean
trick the other day. She eloped with her OBJ
jectiOnable lover the same day her mother
was enamelled; and as the latter was COM
PEELED to remain shut up three days or else
crack all over, the couple managed 20 get
away without pursuit.
Students at law schools never practice
throwing nkStant.S at a mark. The details
Of the profession must be learned by actual
experience at the bar.
TImid passenger Gas the gale freshened)
1" Is there any danger?' Tar CONTINUOUSLY:
"Well, them as likes good dinner had bet
ter have it to-day Punch.
The Lesdvlle eptaphs are pointed and
tcrse. Here is one:
Ger this poor gamblers silent clay
Kind reader do not grieve:
His death took place when johnson caught
Three aces up his sleeve.
A Wisconsin theorist says that hay will sat-
isfy hunger. There may be something in
this, for couple Of straws will frequently
satisfy thirst.