Daily Republican., 1880-04-23
ATeaeasr pi.gorgea.


Staten Island discharged q teacher, OF
the ground of incompetvDcy. He had
the reputation OF being an able In
struotor, but the trustees detected his
Ignorance In the following manner.
A notice was served by the school board
| on the teachers, which read as follows
'Teeohirs. foretit Sal. ary. door. In.
way. cash in
| After school was dismissed the tsach-
lers met TO interpret the notice, and the
following debate ensusd:
First Teacher. What can be meant
by that expression, Teachers forefeet p
Do the trustees think we are quadru-
peas I
Second Teacher--I think the second
and third words are to be taken in con-
nection-"Forefeet SAL" II is probably
an allusion TO trotting-horse.
Third Teacher-But why should the
trustees send notice about trotting-
horse to teachers, most Of whom are Ia.
dies!
2d-Tha trustee possibly had two
letters In his pocket-one for the teach
!! ers and one for the racs course, and got
them mixed.
4th-The only intelligible word in
the notice is "cash," and the action Of
the trustees in reducing our salaries
precludes the idea that anything con-
tanning cash was ever meant to be- sent
to us by the board.
1st-What makes II still more en-
barra;sing is that there is psrod after
every word.
3i--I, looks to me like the prize puz-
zle in "Demorest's Magazine"
2d-It may be policy slip that one
of the trustees has given us iu mistake.
1st.--I have thought SO before. l
had better take II back to him, and pre- |
terd we could not decipher it II 1t is
policy-slip, it will cave him the mortiG-
cation of thinking we knew what 1t Is.
Tne last speaker accordingly took II
back to one Of the trustees, when the
following conversation occurred
Teacher.--Mr. Blank, | return this
paper, which we have been unable 10
deciphar.
Trustee.--Cipher! That particular
notice don't say nothin' bout oiphsrin'.
Teacher mean we are unable to
read 1t.
Trustse-If you can't read English,
what do we pay you for! / writ 1t, and
II do say II myself, ! say them letters
is made regular and plain up and down
like the piston Of q steam ingine.
Tsachsr.-Oh, I have not spoken of
the chirogrspby.
Trustee Well, neither was talkin'
Of geography; Pm talAin' Of that writ.
ing.
Teaehsr.-But, my dear sir, the no.
lice is written in vague terms.
Trustee.-No, 1t amt writ in vague
tsrms; Its writ in ink, AID the turns ia
VI regular.
Teaoher-I mean the pa,assology is
ambiguous.
Trustee (indiffnantly)-0h erszy.
yiony be darned! Pm plain man; don't
ak Latin to me. II you want to CON-
verse with me, you must talk English.
Teacher Qmpatiently).-What l
mean Is, / cannot read that plyague
lotice, or tell you what it means.
Trustee. You can't read English
hen how in the thunder can you teach
'upils to read iti What do We pay you r
salary fort y
Teacher desperately II can't read
!, and l don't believe you or any msm-
or Of your board, can mako sense out
1t. =
Trustee.-Can't (Here he seized E
be notice and reads, more from nem- (
ry than from the written words, Gs
,llows:) "Teachers forfeit salary
uring vacation"
Teacher.--I see it now But why did
ou put q dot after each word that
,islead me.
Trustee-A dot Them amt dots;
lem's comets, and semi.scoldings and
eriwigs Don't ycu know nothin'
bout punctidcation, you ignoramous
Teaoher-But you did not spell the
ords correctly. ......
Trustee-What has the trustees to do
ith spellin' That's your business.
1e pay you big salary to come here
nd look after the spellin Of this district,
I'D now you've got the cheek to say
,u expect the trustees to spell
Teacher.-Thsre js but one proper
ay to spell a word, and
Trustee.-There you show your
againl Andrew Jackson said
man that ooaldn't spell q word in
ore ways than one must be d-n
ol, and have always been Jackson Sf
The conversation ended here. The
.ople of the school district now know sos y
cir favorite teacher has been pro- i
,unced incompetent. The exasperated -
ustee reported back to his fellow
ustees, and being the best educated .
enber Of the board, he easily induced X
en- to pass the following resolution. q
WHEREAS, Mr.. Temkins. ean't. reed. G|
ane. vritiA. and. punkterfuacation, W
eirfour.
Rezolvid,-That. sed. Tomkins.
oarsed. be. aud. he. theirby. IL.
sgorged. from. this. skool.--Rich-
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