Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-02-06
ZEPH PARKER'S STRATAGEM

&C. H.. S
ZEPHPARKER'S STRATAGEM.
"Sleepy, baby faced set o people
Air theyl Baby-faced enough, you bet
but tell you, Stree, that believe they RE
'beout born with all their eye teeth cu
in their celestial jaws; and you've got tt
get up airly, sir, if you want to take in {
Chlnee!' {.
The speaker was hard faced, hollow
jawcd gentlemen, in glossy black suit
which fitted him very badly, and the re.
mark was made in the smoking room Of
The Continental. There he was to be
seen daily, and was supposed to have "giy
en- the sp cky!ators fits in lies IN 9th
or words he was believed to have made q
fortune in petroleum. At all events he
had plenty of money, and was very gen
erous in the spending Of it.
The conversation rad turned On the
vexed Chinese question, and he had
struck on the discussion.
Il recA 'lect,' he said, Their was Zeph
Parker. He was deep I'm, was Zeph
He was long . me and q few more mp to
Nevada, u.s. 'bcout the time Of 'hc silver
craze. The boys had been washing for
gold; honest like, meow gittin' it out O
pockets, meow outer the stream; and
when they had done with bit O. wash
dirt, and gone off to another claim, Mis-
ter Washce Washec Chinee would come
over and go over the dirt after them, and
be satisfied with what he got. All on us
goes off and loses all we'd made III gold,
gifts no silver, and comes back disappint
ed to try after the gold again.
Guess we might try, and try again,
but no good could we get. and ali 'beout
us was them smuoth-f faced, pig-tailed
Cinnamon, gittin' ON prosperous and
contcnted.
"'I tell yew,' said Zeph, Il shall 90
and murder one O. them smilin' tcapots.
can't stand it much longer'
This here was in our bit of a tent
where we were tryin' to make ourselves
happy, playin' poker on credit, and keep
in no account.
"'What for?' SEE.
"'What tor' cries Zcph Dew yew
think that I, an enlightened sitterzen OF
free country, am gwine to set down
and be robbed O. my mess O. golden
pottagc by a pack O. smllin,' washer
women-laccd, opium smokln,' celestial
Jacobs? No, Stree, this dogs gHinc to
bite!'
"But l don't kinder see what tins dog
gwine to bite fur SCI. "Teapot amt
done nuthin' to you.
"'Alateys, SEE Zeph, getting on the
barrel as had been his seat, things has
come to purity pass with us, heven't
thcy?'
"Right, old hoss,' SEE some one, hum
mcrin' the chest lid as had been our ta-
bic.
"'Haz any man here got any tobacco2
sez Zeph.
".Nor
"'Haz any man here got any old Bur
bon whlsky!'
"sNop
"'Haz auy man got any dust''
"'Any -four, or pork, or boots, or new
blankets!"
GO mo, no, no, no!'
Then them Chinees haz,' continued
Zcph; and hat I SEE is this-as it is a
sin and a shame to let pack of heather
isl cusscs like them teapots as never goes
to churches nor listens 10 parsons
"'I say. Zcph,' SEE some one, when
did you 90 to mcctln' last?'
Never you mind SEE Zeth, land
don't interrupt q man as wants to give
you suthin' to cat A set O. cusscs, seq,
us never goes to mcetin, and b'lieves in
nuthin' but joss-houses. l say, it's a sin
to let 'em be gittln' fat on our land,
while we're as thin and starved. lookin
l5-as as
GAS Ole Zeth Parker himself seq Tom
Paggius.
"'Wal, ez thin ez am, if you like seq
Zeph. y:..
"'This is all very purity, Il SCI, but we
can't go and take claim from the tea
pots, Zeph; nor VIC can't rush 'em, and
annex the dust and nuggets they've wash
ed outs
"'No,' sed Zeph, winkin' one eye; 'but
we kin stragetise EN- -.
"'How?' I sez i" Don't kinder see it.
They're too deep to be done.'
"'Yah! seq Zeph, 'they's beout ez deep
cz two-cent plate. Give me the means
and Ill sell the lot, and put good peck
etful o. dollars or dust in every man 8
pocket-six on usr -.
e. But what means d. yer want2' I seq.
"'One handful o DUST SCI Zeph. IL
"'And where are we to get its' seq
Tom Paggins. 80
"'This is how seq Zeph. Morrow
mornin' every man hyar's got to go round
the camp and cadge. Tell the boys we're
hard up, but we've got good thing on.
They'll subscribe little all rcound. Yew
see if they DON'T e .:s 's': .-,,..
".Well, we'll try SEE we, and we
went to sleep hungry and got up raven.
Gus.
There was nothing for it but to 60 to
work, and of We went, getting back to
our tent about eleven o'clock, when five
out of the SIX had got a little gold dust
I was the unlucky one, bein' a bad beg,
gar and had got none. -, ~
"'Now thenp seq Tom Paggins, as
soon as the dust was all put. together
about big spoonful Of glittering stuff
L" lets go up to the store and get drink.
s>:That you jest won't, seq Zeph, grin
nin'' 4, IN kinder gwine to throw all this
here dust away-I'm gwine to SOW
it.bovs, for a crop to come cup
We Igrumblea, for we were mighty
hungry; but we all had kind o. trust In
Zeph, and gave way. sts
"sLookee hyar, lads, he seq; sits jest
twelve o'clock; so let's go round and gel
q mouthful where we cam
"'Let's go up to Billy Bolly's store
and ask him TO give US square meal, and
stick it up, I seq. He'll trust u.s.
/" Think he would e. SEE Zeph.
81 "tSartain, L seq !; if you show him that
gold, and tell him there's somethin' gooe
on. rs So sss
g And so it was; Bill, on seeing tina
gold ana hearing as we'd got somethin
good on, gave US tight square meal, an6
q taste round o, Bourbon, endin' will
tho cheerful remark: & shall take it on
o some Of yew; if this here amt squared
up
s7ts erhat didn't make nice dessert, TO
/ Bill was wonderful clever fellow ani
would think nuthln' O plugging q man