National Republican., 1880-07-24
N.4SHYs DREAM.
The Presidential Horse Race.


CoNFEDRIr X ROADS (Wich is in the state
NV kentucky, July 10. lSS0.-In all ages NV
the world drecms hev bin considered prophetic
Jon Bunyan yoosed the similitood nv dream
to portray the struggles and vicissitoods NV a
crischen life aud / uluz drcem when any
thing especial is agOin to happen to the di.
mocrisy. | differ from Bunyin in this: he
didn't dreem at all, but hc writ ez tho ho did,
while | actily do dream.
Last evenin Bascom gave spred in honor
NV the nominashen NV Hancock and ez the
provouder wuz free, and the liker likewise,
he'd, for wuust, eggsaclSly all that my system
Good hold, aud my system is trooly holder.
Bein very full / went 10 my couch, troo
dimesratic Bunyan to dreem.
In my dreem tho presidcnshel struggle took
the very material form NV race. II wuz all
rcgcler, the two parties trottin ont ecch q hoss,
the winnin post bciu the White House.
The dimocrsy trotted out thoir boss and
felt ruther peascd OH the hull. lie come up
prancin with free sort nv step, and didn't
look ez tho he he'd blemish. Indeed he cum
up SO gamoy, that | rcely he'd faith in his
sucksess, tho the other hoss had q winnin
look about him, and cum NV stock that hez
been winnin for long they hev a noshen
that they can't be beet.
Our hoss wuz under the groonlin of Senator
Wallace, Nv Pennsylvany, and he wuz backt
by the entire south, and Tammany hail. and
also by scatterin polittikle sports from the
other states.
Now" sed Wallace, Everybody keep away
and don't spoil this race by any cussed foolish.
ness. / hev fttod this hoss myself, and cf l
ride him he's sure to win Keep cloer Nv him
and don't say word"
" Hold on mint" sod n ng.haired feller
from Virginny, I'VE hev got to hev some as
surances to testify us in backing this hoss,"
and he flung onto his back an enormous sack
labeled "Looisiana administration" and
jumped on hissolft to keep it in place.
Jest mint" sed Pennsylvauy dimebrat,
"he must carry this" and he hove on pack
age labeled protective tariff" and he climbed
on.
"Hc kin never run without this" sed Moo
Yorker, and he histed up very heavy sack
labeled free trade"
Another Moo Yorker aud Massychoosits
man climed up, each with u very heavy pack
age NV honist money, and lnjeauy man
cimed on with an immense bundle NV fiat
money. This he'd no weight, but took up a
great deal of room, and them which kerried IL
made great deal Of noise.
Jist aiore the start gang nv lsu klux from
Mississipy climbed on, and, despite Wade
Hamptons entreaties, Il South Kerliny Rifle
club scrambled up, and ez Of that wuzn't
enuff, John Kelly with the entire Tammany
society delibritly took seats on his back.
linen Ctlub u BliiH lONuCu WIN Hlult5 TUGS,
and o catholic bishop or two sided into seats
list where they Good hold the reiDs, and ton
or dozen confedrit brigadeors, witch woodent
take their uniforms of, climbed up, and full
five hundred southerners with demands for
appropriations hung on to his tale.
Senator Wallace demonstrated but IL wuzn't
no yoose. Every man nv em romarlnt that Of
tho hoss coodent kerry him, what kind NV u
hoss wuz it anyhow, and they all yelled start
hin, ~ I'hn tyn.i pivan thn hrpnt
made u conclusive stagger, aud immejitly
went down under the load that wuz put upon
him. lie recovered and managed TO keep on
his feet till he struck the fust quarter post,
Ohio when his strength gvo out and down
he went rollin over his miscellaneous load
with great effect The other walked over the
track aud camo In an easy winner.
"How could any hOss run, so weighted ?'
yelled Wallace in rage. at wood hev
borne down Ginral Washington, let alone such
ginral e2 Hancock. It's no yoose. Tho hoss
wuz good enuif but great Caesar, what load
he he'd to korry W
While the crowd wuz a-strugglin to git out
from under the eggsaustid charger l awoke.
Ia this dream trOO? Is Hancock to be load.
cd with all these weights aiOrc ho starts Is
there no way NV keepin out nv site what we
don't want 10 be seen till after the oeckshnn ?
fear not. We are neither e2 wise ez ser
pints or harmless ez doves. 1t is a providence
agn us. We never yit he'd show for success
that we did not immejitly fool 1t away. The
radikels are forchunit in our stOopidity. They
hev lived onto it for ten years. Er we only
he'd the sense to run Hancock ON his style and
military record and say nothing about any
thing else, OF Of we Good keep our votin elo-
ment out NV site till eleckshun day, We mite
go through. But e2 it is we are hopelishly
gone up. My hart is sad.
PETROLEUM V. Nasty (despondenl.
Toledo BInde.