The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1880-08-11

We publish the following by special re-
quest, but disclaim any responsibility for it,
MIDDLE CREEK, August 5,
Mr.. EDITOR, DEAR SIR: We desire to give
you a few items from our own small but en-
terprising township. We are an enterprising
people, alive to all the transactions of our
business. Come and pay usa visit and you'll
( fell better when you get home again. We
have had an abundant harvest and great
and small are living on the top of the pile
Mr.. Barron and MIR Gross grind our wheat,
! Mr. Baker mak.s our WOODEN goods, c b.
Moore sells Us Coffee. Toliaceo, Ribbons and
Candy, Dr. Moore make, u pills Me-srs.
UnrUh X Brattcbaugli read religion tor u
and - you see thai We az al kept in nice
cJnditi "a. But sinco the teas are all gone
and b,d bugs very scarce it takes
some Rubbing and scrubbiiig, souging and
I blck-blting to keep us in good condition.
some af our citizens have built new burns.
/ Peter whipkey will build one next summer
BuJ We must tell you something of our ma
I jeStic greatness, for we form a school board
of great dignity, and we passed decree that
noold fogy shall take his biblcintOth the school
/ house 10 teach men fropi it, but they did
/ slip III, We watched the door till they came
ont and we took after a little old man and
surrounded him with ronping feet and roll
/ ing eyes, he was badly scared and sunk down
/ into his boots ready to surrender, then an
| old friend came up and said Hands off!
and he made a stampede with a straight
coat tail, then weall rejoiced over our victory
| for we did scare one and We cmarched offwith
/ great honor long to be remembered So the
matter laid still for a while but then it began
to be agitated again and was pressed with
plea of having money and private property
/ in that school-house Well, that was a great
plea TO bring before house OF Lords, then
they brought il down to the lowest notch,
and wanted Us TO say yes or no. But we
were too sharp for them for duce the word
| they could get out of US and our professor
commended our course and we are confident
that neither horses mules or asses could have
done any better than we did, aud we thought
we had done as great things Us Lord Wei
| lington had done at Waterloo, then we
marched off with as much honor As ever
Scipio took into Rome But we had not as
many oxen with garlands on their horns
| but we had all the mules and asses in the
land TO honor Us. But Lords like We don't
stop at small achievements, so we put on our
cooked hats with plumes and marched off
one dark night as sly as ghosts, and we hung
an old Hcssian pad lock to the school-house
door, then We were ready for a feast with
music and dancing, then we could sing
That Rome in her glory,
Mare told such a story;
Nor boasted such facts as
The shool-b0ard can do"
And now we give the invitation. Come
one Come all and join in with Us pad lock
Lords for one part of our dirty work is done.
but there is more to do and we want all of
our men to have dirty principles for that is
what we have started out upon, and that
pad lock has got to sinking worse than
cart load Of dead toads and it has to be taken
down before we can go to Augsburg to get
our diploma, and it will be q dirty job but it
will suit a dirty principle. Next Mondaysswe
are going to start to Augsburg there to find
good company and plenty Of oysters, and if
we can get work there we will stay while
and if not we will go to Rome, for the Pope
has always ge: dirty work to do
Old DIEEcToR