davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
Ne Charge for Consultation

After more than ten years experience
in administering the new and remarkable
remedy for chronic diseases, now so
widely known as compound Oxygen,
and after a careful observation of its ac-
tion in the largest range of diseases, some
of them of the most complicated and
hopeless character, we are now prepared
to treat that special line of cases which
are usually regarded by the profession as
beyond the reach of medical skill.
Not that we will promise a cure in any
and every case that may come to US. But
we invite statement, by letter or other
wise, of the case of any of that large
class of suffering invalids to which we
have referred. This will be carefully
considered. and compared with other and
similar cases which we have had under
treatment, and as honest and intelligent
an opinion given as it may be in our pow
er to render. For this we will make no
charge, whether, after consultation, the
Oxygen treatment be ordered or not.
Send for our Treatise on Compound Oxy-
gen. which will be mailed free. You may
find in it the record of case just like
your own, which we have successfully
treated Address Drs. Starkey and Palen,
1109 and iii Girard St., Philadelphia, Pa.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
A drink for the sick-well water.

A cruel husband calls his wife "green
fruit, }" because she never agrees with him.
Taking Time by the forelock is all very
well until a bald-headed Time comes
along.
1t will take pretty heavy frost to kill
this speech crop that is coming on now.
CORY Press.
The compositor who set up ''pimpled
chops" for "dimpled cheeks" didn't look
bit natural in death
''How sadl" exclaimed one blade of
pair of scissors to the other; show sad
We only meet to sever!'
'You never saw my hands as dirty as
that" said petulant mother to her little
girl. "No, but your ma did, was the
reply.
Nine hundred and seventy-two words
rhyme with Dow, and yet not a single
campaign hymn has been dedicated to the
Prohibitory candidate.
Chow came you to fail in your exami-
nation?" asked the tutor. 81 thought 1
crammed you thoroughly" well, you
see" replied the student, ''the fact was
you crammed me so tight couldn't get
it OUT
mans character may be so high that
his unsupported testimon would send a
fellow-being to the gallows, and yet he
can't find more than one man in two hun
dred who will believe his statement as to
the weight of the fish he caught.
Professor Of chemistry "suppose you
were called to a patient who had swal-
lowed heavy dose Of oxalic acid, what
would you administer?" X. (who is pre-
pairing for the ministry, and who only
takes chemistry because it is obligatory :
81 would administer the sacrament"
A darkey who was STOPPING to wash
his hands in a creek, didn't notice the
peculiar actions of a goat just behind him /;
so, when he scrambled out of the water
and was asked how it happened, he an
smered: 81 dunno 'zackly; but peared as
if de shore kinder h'isted and frowed me. -
A little boy, in turning over the leaves
of a scrap-book, came across the we'll
known picture of some chickens just out
of their shell. He examined the picture
carefully, and then, with a grave, saga
cious look, slowly remarked; "They came
out cos they was afraid of being boiled"
LOOK heah, squire, dars a niggah in
Galveston what's been sassin' me; sup
posing jes maui de life outen him?" The
lawyer replied: ''You would be ant to
get your neck stretched" ''Now, boss.
you is jokin. What do white folks care
for one niggah noah or less now de CEN
sus is done tuck !"
A consumptive looking man, lame and
, feeble and carrying pint bottle full of
something, halted pedestrian and said :
81 found this bottle on a corner back
there, and / wish you'd tell me what's in
1t. The other took it, removed the cork
and snuffed in a full breath, The next
instant he staggered against wall, claw
ing the air and gasping, and it was a full
minute before he blurted out: 'sWhy, you
internal idiot, that's hartshorn." s'Well !
am perfectly willing to take your word
for it without extra insults" observe {
the invalid in an injured voice, as he tool
his bottle and walked off like man who
J has been abused without the least excuse
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

The Democratic papers forgot that
Mr.. Tilden was one of the original men,
bers of the Credit Mobilier, that he
subscribed for $4,000 of its stock and
was for years its attorney; and it comes
with good grace, indeed, for the Dem
ocratic leaders and newspapers to en-
deavor to revamp that old exploded
charge of Gen. Garfield being stock
holder in the Credit MobilIer when their
own candidate for the Presidency in
1876 was a stakeholder in that institu-
tion, and as its attorney knew it was
got up for the purpose of swindling the
stockholders of the Union Pacific rail
road out of their property, as we'll as
the government, which had a mortgage
on that railroad. In view of the above
facts, the recent call on the Democratic
National Committee on Tilden ought to
have opened by the recital of the famous
epitaph on confederate grave in Mis-
sissippi graveyard: Though rotten, yet
not forgotten
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

refining companions, but the coarse
ways and rough speech of young men
in hounces. Is it not just as easy to
initiate the graceful manners and refined
speech of lady as those of a rude, un-
cultivated boy %
The same general rules for correct
and pleasant behavior are safe for boys
and girls, ladies and gentlemen. A
gentleman may entertain the highest
respect for a lady, and be on the most
friendly and intimate terms, but if
true gentleman, his respect will with
hold him from carelessness or roughness
in speech or action. And no lady who
is truly refined will brook anything ap-
preaching too familiar tone It is,
however, but just to acknowledge that a
lady's manner will always fix the metes
and bounds Of the liberty which may be
offered. When boys and girls. young
men and maidens, are allowed to fall
into the absurdities of low, foolish,
meaningless talk, it seems to dwarf them
intellectually; they can find nothing of
interest or Importance to say, and there
fore make up for sense by filling every
sentence with needless EXPLANATIONS, ex-
aggerations, or misused adjeetives. 1t
requires much patience to be compelled
to listen to half a dozen young folks,
and hear the strange, inappropriate use
of language. They will assure each
other that it is lawful warm, or the
concert lawful" nice; the sermon "hor-
rid'' dull ; young lady is awful
pretty, but her dress "horrid ugly the
teacher 'horrid strict;" such young
gentlemen who called has an "awful
SWELL team of fast horses.
If young people could now and then
be placed where themselves unseen)
they were obliged to listen to a half
hours conversation about nothing at all
and hear these poor adjectives forced
into conspicuous position in every
sentence and on every topic of conversa-
tion-their real meaning and legitimate
use being entirely disregarded.-it
might result in their own reformation.
while they could think, like the gentle
man in Delminico's who listened to the
conversation of a charming little lady
and her dapper little beau, where every
other word was lawful"
al confess it sorely puzzles to think what they
could say,
IF something really awful were to happen in their
way,
For I'm sure with simple English they could never
content.
But their thoughts in foreign expletives would have
to find vent.
"while musng in this fashion. (eeling rather cross
and old,)
1 forgot about my dinner, which getteng aw-
full cold
And the adjectives kept dropping from the lips of
either child,
wild" -Christian Union.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
FoUR-LEAFED CLOVER.

Long, long ago l read Of one who sought
So far and wide, in many climes and ways,
For four-leaved clover but sought in vain,
And went home empty after many days.
Weary at last, he sat by his own door,
And there, right at his feet, the treasure found.
II was so near he had not thought to look
30 near at hand and ON such homely ground.
And 80 we often overlook what lie
Right at our feet and call them common things.
The bird Of brilliant plumage and no song
count less lovely than the bird that sings.
But o, we are blind. Had 1 that gift,"
We say, "were this good or that talent mine,
How would use it? What good would do?"
Poor blind mortalsl how we "seek a sgnl"
Each one of us has for his earnest use
Some talent given, five or two or one;
IL Is no small thing II wo use it well,
No small thing if we miss the words, "We ell done.
And many blessings come as falls the dew
Unheard, unseen-and we perceive it not,
So many battles fought and victory won,
Where, calm and silent, no man knows the spot.
The 'our-leafed clover grows right at our feet,
The good is here that we so long have sought.
Let us be watchful lest the clover grow
30 low and humble that we know it not
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
THE BACHELORS LAST
HOURS.

Not laugh was heard, nor joyous note.
As our friend to the bridal we hurried
Not wit discharged his farewell joke,
As the bachelor went TO be married.
We married him quickly to save his fright,
Our heads from the sad sight turning;
And we sighed stood by the lamps dim light,
To think of him not more discerning
To think that bachelor, free and bright
And shy OF the sex as we found him,
Should there at the altar, at dead of night,
Be caught in the snares that bound him.
Few and short were the words we said,
Though of cake and wine partaking;
We escorted him home from the scene Of dread,
While his knees were awfully shaking
Slowly and sadly we marched him adown,
From the top Of the lowermost story;
And we have never heard from nor seen the poo
Whom we left alone in his glory. Imam
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
CHuRNS.

We make the very best churn for large dairies that
made In the United States They are the Improved
Pox Churn. We make them in sizes TO suit and prices
Ire all the way from SO to $50. SO one will churn
rom TO 80 pounds, $l2 one from 5 to go pounds
|ther sizes IN proportion. All can be run by power
Ne also sell Barrel Churns.
HORSE POWERS TO run churns from SI2 upwards
ron work for platform round table horse powers
is the best and cheapest for a cheap power Porta-
|e Cider Presses and Grinders Blacksmith Tire Bend
Ire, Tuyere Irons Clothes Reels ito be used out of
oorsl Clothes Dryers ior indoors Box Stoves No. 28
nd 80, Post Drivers, French Roll Pans Baking Pans
toye Backs, Harrow Teeth. Cresting and Iron Fence
york, wagon Jacks, Sled Shoes Sugar Arch Doors
rates Pan Rests. Heater Frames, Cast Iron Sugar
rches-l6 different slzes-all the way from a email
ugarngof stove TO the very largest evaporator fsend
nd get circulars), Window Weights, Buzz Planers
adjustable Saw Benches Jacquard Machinery Looms
ano Gard Cutters Gear Cutting Gearing and Pulleys'
land and Power Elevators, Portable Porges Iron
castings Generally.
Machinery Of all kinds made to order Machinery
|epairing promptly done. Agent for the American
ana saws VIII not crack In running. Please give me
call you want anything in my line. Yours,
John w. Murkland.
Barton. Vt.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
Germany can boast Of producing

Germany can boast of producing the
smallest married couple that ever stood
before an altar, in the persons of min
iature marquis and "marchioness,
who have for some time past been ex-
hibited on the place du Theatre, at
Odessa. The marquis" a native of
Kiel, is 80 years old, and weighs only
10 pounds, while his fairy-like consort,
young woman born in Neumunster
some % years old, just turns the scale
at Is pounds. At the first glance this
tiny pair, it is said, might be taken for
couple of scarcely weaned babies,
dressed up for joke in the garb Of
adults. but on closer examination the
genuineness of their maturity becomes
Enthusiastically apparent. A certain
pleasant flavor of romance runs through
the circumstances that led to their union.
Although they are both German-born
wonders, leased by their parents to trav-
oling showmen at an early age, they
never happened to meet at the fairs OF
their native land. But year ago, the
marquis" being on exhibition at Mos
COW, while Fraulein Lilli was starring
at st. Petersburg, they became aware Of
one another's existence through news
paper notices of their respective charac.
teristics, and entered into correspond.
ence, which soon led to a rendezvous
and ultimately to the contraction of q
matrimonial engagement. Now they
take their professional rounds together
and are saving up their earnings with
the object of retiring into private life il
the fatherland.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
ALONE.

She stands beside the cottage door
To watch the dying day.
Her raven hair is sprinkled DER
With fakes Of silver grey;
And many a line Of sadness sears
That pale yet lovely face,
To mark where slow and silent tears
Have left their lasting trace.
And still her whispered thoughts will tell
or scenes that are no more,
And scan the once-loved forms that dwell
On mcm'ry's shadowy shore;
Again the little cot TO deck.
That now SO empty stands.
Again TO feel around her neck
The touch of tiny hands.
How long, the weary spirit cries,
Within this world of pain,
Ere meath the never-fading skies
meet them once again?
And as she views the silver night,
Slow sweeping to the west
A murmured prayer in faith takes flight
To HIM who giveth rest.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

Home looks sort O. tame to you now !;
but after you have sweltered in an attic
up country or had your face skinned by
the breezes and rejecting sun of the
seashore, and after you have chewed
green cucumbers in the one place and
sole-leather CLANS in the other, you will
long for one day at home where you can
sleep with plenty of fresh air from the
window, eat relishable, nourishing food,
sit with your feet on the mantlepiece,
and be social. Any other place is a
fool to home-NeaO HaUen Register.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
PLOW POINTS

We own the right to manufacture the "smth
atent Plow Point They cast steel tips or points,
nd can be sharpened and hardened by any blacksmith
. Furnish the point for any kind OF land plow point
pat we have patterns for. Names and numbers of
low points always on hand
LAND PLOWs.-Wooley, /, l-2 q Morrill, Wool
y, l, 2P aud road plOw; Barnet. l. q s.; vermonter,
2, 8; Planters Friend, 2l Bristol, 2, 1880. g.;
luzzel, 2B, @ Double board point L; Clipper l. q;
tagle, 2, 90; Doe, n; Concord IN. H., 2, 34; ].
curse, !, "a; John Rich and others.
sIDB-HlLL.-Hobrook, RH5A RH2A, FH2, SAB
sanborn, l.2; Charter Oak, 100, 100, ITO; Buz.
'ell. l, p; Patrick 2; Rich, 2; Murkland l. Wooley,
Hinesburgh. Strickland. q Bradford, Gold Digger,
2: Eureka, 9; (Morrsville) aud Eureka, T. 8; (Tun-
ridge Lufkin, o; ]. Nourse. SO. Bl; Centennial
|pringheld, Hakes, 26; Lebanon l; B. b. Hawes
-nd otheTs-am constantly adding new nnitarna
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

"Well, if ever saw the like" re-
marked Mr.. Nhiskyskin, as he mopped
the perspiration from his brow. Il
don't see how all this water comes from
that oozes through my pores. ! haven't
tasted the stuff for 10 years. "-Nea0
Hacen REGISTER.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
THE COLONEL SURPRISED.

On one occasion, believe it was at
Murfreesboro, Tenn, Col. Doan, of the
One Hundred and First Indiana, made
an effort to have all the regiment fire
their guns off together. After taking
great pains to dress them in line he rode
down the front and gave special instruc-
tions for every man to be slow and de-
liberate. He said he would be careful
to give every one time and he wanted
every man to fire at the word of COM
mand and see how near they could all
come to discharging their guns together.
When he was ready, he rode back, and
after taking calm survey of the regi-
ment he gave command: "Make readyl"
"a long pause); "take aim P'-another
long pause, during which some one by
accident fired his gun next, two or
three more went off then the whole
regiment commenced; some of the boys
supposed he had said, ''ire p and they
had not heard it. So it was spot bang
then bang up and down the whole line,
bang bang going off, one at time
and eight or ten at time. The Col
onel sat calmly on his horse until the
last gun was fired; then with loud
voice he yelled: 'Great Lord Oh,
mighty Have you done already? If
there was not so confounded many of
you I'd arrest the whole regiment. Go
to your quarters, every cussed one Of
you. You ha'n't got the sense of a
mule !"
A soft voice at the rear end of the
line was heard to say: "Grab root !!
and the parade was dismissed. Many
of the old One Hundred and First Indi
and will recollect this shooting affair
and perhaps it will remind them of by
gone days. If it does, let US hear from
you.-Detroit Free Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
HOODS SARSAPARNLA

Is skilfully-prepared compound, concen-
trated extract, bv- a process peculiarly our
Olcn, of the best remedies Of the vegetable
Kingdom known to medical science as altera-
tives, blood-purifers, diuretics, and tonics.
Sold by all druggists. Price 81, or six for
50. G. l. HOOD & CO., Lowell, Mass.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

if listening intently for he thought
although he could scarcely believe his
ears-that he had suddenly caught a
faint sound of distant firing.
In another instant he heard it again,
and this time there could be no doubt,
for several of the others had caught it
likewise, and CLEAN of hope once more
lighted up their haggard faces and
bloodshot eyes.
Louder and nearer came the welcome
sound, while the sudden terror and
confusion visible among the enemy show
ed that they, too, were at no loss to
guess its meaning.
Then high above all the din rose the
well-known "Hurrah I" and through
the smoke-clouds broke charging line
Of glittering bayonets and ruddy Eng
lish faces, sweeping away the cowardly
murderers as the sun chases the morn
ing mist.
- - <
"That boys's worth his weight in
gold," said Col. Ayres, as, few hours
later, he listened to Ismail's account of
how he had dived under the boat and
kept it between himself and the Sepoys,
that they might think him drowned.
"He's is the pluckiest little fellow I've
ever seen, and, although he belongs to
the major, I'm going to take my share
of helping him on, by Jove!'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
FARMERS MECHANICS
We wish to call your attention
to what we manufacture and
have for sale at the
BARTON Foundry and Machine Shop.


we make the famous Wooley Plow Is sizes). The
10. l Is his famous premium plow, and all sizes are
st as he made them and all work as well and better
ian when made by Mr.. Wooley. for the reason they
e all ground smooth before leaving the shop. We
so make slde-hin plows, and we satisfied that we
pa and VIII give you better pillow for your money
ian can be bought elsewhere in Vermont. We have
d hnnn few Rncnnd hnnh l,lnura ~ nAh
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

An lrishman. watching a game of
baseball, was sent to grass by foul
which struck him under the fifth rib.
"a fowl, was it? Begorra. thought it
was a mule"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
John w. MurkIand.
Barton, vt.
SPECIAL NOTICE,

Now is your time to buy CULTIvAToRs and
PHURNs. We make and sell the best made-most
|uostantial-and we think the best Churn in the
nited States. II IS the Improved Box-no leaking
mo packing with cloths-no putting down.-butter
il comes even-al clean and neat Put together
sith bolts-iron frames-will last so years. SOLD
DN TRlAL-you viii perceive there can not be any
umoug about them. II you want churn, please
~ one and oblige.
JOHN w. MURKLAND,
MachinIst and Founder,
Barton, VT.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

A remedy that can destroy the germs of
scrofula, and when once settled has the pow
er to root 1t out, must be appreciated by
those afflicted. The remarkable cures OF
young children and the more wonderful cures
Df those OF middle age and late in life, as IL
ustrated by our printed testimonials, prove
|iiooD's SARsAPARILLA to be a reliable rem
|edy, containing remedial agents which do
positively cure scrofula and eradicate il from
The blood.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

1t ever is the marked propensity of
reckless and aspiring minds to look into
the stretch of dark futurity.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

There are peculiar ways III men which
discover what they are through the most
subtle feints and close disguises.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
WARNER n m. Ian d 1a7o

- WARNER, N. H., Jan. 21, 1879.
MEssRs. G. /. HOOP & Co., Lowell, Mass:
IGentemen-F For ten years previous to the
'early part Of 1877 had been q constant suf-
&lerer from scrofulous ulcers or sores, which
bad finally reduced me to n helpless condi-
|tion, as described In my letter to you in Sep
tember OF that year. The continued excel
lent health which enables me to keep house
Tor my aged father and to enjoy life, keeps
'alive my intense personal interest IN HOOPS
SARsAPARILLA, and cannot refrain from ex-
pressing my gratitude for the permanent
cure this wonderful medicine effected in my
ease nearly two years ago, while living in
Lowell, wnen all my physicians gave me up
'as being in an incurable condition. One
|thing before close. / have recommended
your Sarsaparilla to hundreds, and think
|more than thousand cases, and my faith in
Its invincibility in curing scrofula has be-
come absolute by the wonderful cures It has
'enected aside from my own. 1 trust you
Twill not be slow in making the merits of
HOODS SARsAPARILLA known everywhere,
Tor II Is q duty you owe to mankind. With
best wishes remain very truly yours,
SARAH G. WHITTIER
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16

The only way to hang murderer in
Texas is to charge him with stealing a
four-dollar mule.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-16
9rltatts County @unitor,
PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY
GEO. H. BLAKE.
BARTON, VT.

pERMs.-StTietiy IN Advance, $l50 per annum. II
N paid In advance, S2O0 year. Subscribers living
tside OF Orleans County must remit 10 cents extra
postage. For convenience in remitting. we will
Fe credit for one year and four months for $500 to
scrlbers In the county and one year and three for
|ietiy in Advance.
tATEs OF ADyERTIsIEG made known on application.
Remit by P. o. Money Order. Registered Letter, or
AT. watch the label on your paper and notice
|yments are kept IN advance When money is sent
we shall give you the credit on the label at once
the label is not advanced within two weeks, notify
by postal card.