Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-01-22
Some Chronology Of 1879.

Some Chronology OF 1878. s.
During the year Just buried and yePs
over several things happened which will
never be mentioned IN the dlcticnary or
encyclopedia, but should be remem-
! bered by the public all the same.
The number of men who pulled their
guns towards them by The muzzle was
about fifty. One trial will satisfy you
! that it never fails. r. .oo,r
Eighteen hundred and seventy-nine
was q good year for the fool who points
unloaded revolvers at his aunt and other
folks. He managed to keel over about
twenty victims, and is "real sorry !" for
it. He wouldn't have done 1t for moth
ing, you know. = tsssr-sr
During the dead year eleven para
graphers got off jokes on the mother
in-law and then softly slipped into their
last resting place beneath the. willows.
1t is well. Nobody has missed them.
The number of orators who in 1873
began their speeches with, .Fellow-citi-
zens of this glorious country" was
eighty-five; the number in 1879 was
only eighty -four, Let us be thankful
for small favors and have hopes Of the
future. ~ :p.t .D'a, p" III -iN'i
The kerosene can showed a decided
falling off in activity. Only seventeen
females hurried up the fire.
OF the one hundred and fifty-two
house-holders who borrowed shot guns
and took dead aim at "that internal
cat, - three hit the cat and the remain
der knocked over small:boys and other
live stock, and are now wondering how
on earth they could possibly have
done it.
Eighteen hundred and seventy-nine
was good year for deaf persons to 60
visiting. Thirty-four Of them took the
railroad track to save distance. The
day express was on time. .ro.I
The last year was also noticeable for
the number of persons who took quiet
smoke after going to bed, fell asleep
and passed into better land ut ths ex-
pense of insurance companies. A clay
pipe and cents worth of tobacco are
all the outfit needed. t.,, .y
The number of kind-hearted people
who went out hunting, mistook friend
for wild turkey, fox or grizzly, and
peppered him dead was fourteen, with
Rhode Island to hear from. Every one
of them felt bad enough to cry, but
mistakes will happen in all families.
The sea serpent was seen only nine
times during 1879. This may influence
some persons to believe that he Is grad
ually dying out and viii soon become
extinct, but there is no danger Of IT.
not with the present brand of sea cap
tains. rs,,,, sIt t.safoi .r.ls ...sr
The number of mothers who left rat
poison and other fatal doses where the
children could get at them was twenty
one. This is . decrease over the
previous year, and in the dim Ddtura
womankind may ,ppssibly realize -
fact that children, cats, rats. cock ,
reaches and ants are susceptible TO the
same influence.
During 1879 only two householders
mistook the hired girl for a burglar and
popped her dead. There is consequent
ly no demand for national convention
of hired girls to discuss the question:
" Shall we wear bullet-proof corsets and
demand more wagesP'' ro 40
The number of men who suddenly and
mysteriously disappeared during 1879
was very large, and the number who
turned up after q three days. drunk was
perfectly amazing, and the returns are
still coming in by every mail. f4
Eighteen hundred and seventy-nine
produced no improvement in drawing
teeth; no consolation for the man who
has to have his hair cut; no better
method for breaking in new boots no
new route for embezzlers to get into
Canada; no way of getting along on the
street cars except to stand up, and no
new way of getting back small loans.
Considered as whole, she wasn't any
thing extra of year, even for bad
weather.-Detroit Free Press. am
SCRAP PUDDING.-Put scraps Of bread
crust and crumbs into bowl with milk
to cover well, cover the bowl with
plate and put into an oven for half an
hour to soak; after it is thoroughly soft
ened mash all fine with fork add a
handful of raisins and currants, one
cupful brown sugar, half cupful milk,
one egg; flavor to taste with grated
lemon-peel or vanilla; stir all well to-
gether; add small piece butter, grease
dish, bake in moderate oven one
and half hours; before putting in oven
CRATE nutmeg on top -. $3.50,
LADY ANNE BLUNT, the granddaugh-'
ter Of Byron, is notable instance of
the travelling Englishwoman.a She
went with her husband, Mr.. wilfrid