The Osceola times., 1880-12-25
ARKANSAS
WAYS or THE WORLD.
HoNE RULE Hen-pecking.

HosE RuLE Hen-pecking.
A GOOD name for sailor-Cambyses
TME hatier's prayer: Oh. for another
election.
ALWAYS in order: o. Not always in Oh
der; owe.
IT don't take very fast horse to catch
the epizootic.
GENEVA is the grain Of musk which
perfumes Europe.
THINK ii best not to dispute where
there is no probability of convincing.
STAY not until you are told of oppor-
tunities to do good-inquire after them
Not good if detached" may apply as
well to married people as TO railroad tick
cts.
MANY man slips three-cent piece
into the contribution box with ten-cent
air.
TINS world would be dreadfully s.
lent place if people talked as little as they
thought.
A HANDSOME girl nevergets angry when
reflections are cast upon her appearance
by her mirror.
A BosroS man was asked to buy new
style of blotting pad, and he asked how
II was fastened on.
Why is small boy rushing toward a
crowd like vessel leaving its dock for
Europe? Because he puts to see.
THEY have discovered tree in South
America that gives milk. A Yankee
would make pumps out of the wood and
get u patent.
NOTHING fills tramp with more pro-
found emotion than to behold in tie
windows of gents furnishing stoie
articles labelled, "Dogs' toilet brushes"
IF some of our swell youths would OIL
ganize unicycle club they might possi-
bly, earn enough to pay for their cigal-
cites. Unicycle is the Latin for whee.-
barrow.
THERE is a slight hope for art. We saw
half dozen quite pretty landscapes in
show window this morning, but noA a
cat-tail, a lily-pad or stork standing on
one leg.
A STORY in one of our exchanges is
called "Ioye i'm an elevator" This ele-
vator is typical of the ''ups and downs"
tho young couple will experience after
they are married.
GENTLY the stars-those beacons that
declare when morning is and night
their beamlets fair dropt down; and as he
chewed her dolman fringe the gate fell
in and lost its leather hinge.
THE writer for the press always has
two chances. One is that his matter may
be crowded out for want of room, and
another is that il may 60 in for want of
something better in its place.
A PHILADELPHIA quack informs the
public that he is not at all exclusive. "If
a patient wants it gentle and mild I'm
homeopath, and when anybody wants
thunder and lightning I'm an allopath."
Miss PATEy said, when Chicago cler-
gyman, In marriage ceremony, asked
her il she would love, honor and obey
her husband: IL will love and honor
him, but whether / will obey him de-
pends on circumstances"
NoN Ben Qomond) Trovato. Rory
fresh from the hills, seeing water cart
for the first time)-"IIech, monl Yere
loassin' a yer watter!' Aungus-"Haud
yer tongue, yc feul Ett's lat DOT to stoap
the laddies frae ridin' ahint"
EEMuND KEAN once heard stage car
penter thus settle the pretensions of i'm
personators of Hamlet: "You may talk
Of Henderson and Kemble and this new
man." said the carpenter. "but give me
Bannister's Hamlet. He was always
done twenty minutes sooner than any of
emf
A YOUNG man who had inherited the
day before a large fortune from his uncle
gave dinner to few friends. lie in
quired at the restaurant if they had some
old cheese. ''Yes," replied the waiter
"ls it strongh 'Strong enough TO bring
the dead to life" 81 don't want it, re-
piled the heir.