Daily Republican., 1880-09-02
FELLOw ws or INFINITE JEST.


FELLOWS or INFINIrE JEST.
what the Fanny COlumn and Par.
aSraphie Lunatis II GetiloE on
From Day 90 Day-The YOunS Re
porter.
$50 you're the new reporter" said
Captain Harrison Clark, the Grand Ty.
Ter Of the Masons, who holds the fort in
the Masonic Temple at Broad and Fill
bert streets, and protects each lodge
from intruders.
"Yes, sir, replied the budding scrib.
bier.
"You look pretty fresh. From the
country, presumed" interrcgated the
Grand Tyler.
ave been sent to interview you,
and learn where you get all the goats
you supply to the lodges. don't want
you to give any secrets away"
"I'll give nothing away" replied the
Grand Tyler. ~ think there are two
or three goats running arouni the
Temple now. 80, you're the new re-
porter. So, young-and so !" The lat
ter part Of this sentence was in gasp.
Shave You any objections TO showing
me onei" asked the young man.
"We don't often do that; but l al.
ways like to oblige the reporters, and
YOU said you were the new reporter.
| I'll SOC III can catch one for you"
kindly replied the Grand Tyler.
"First we will 80 into the Grand
Holy Ssoophole," said the Masonic
man, as he led the way down q long
flight OF steps into utter darkness.
Just then ths young man heard dis
tinct "BAh |"
.Ah | there's one, shouted the cour-
tsous Grand Tyler, and just at that
moment the young man ran against q
pile Of kindling wood and rolled over q
coal shovel. Right above him came
"Bah I"
"Thers 1t goes" shouted the Tyler,
% he rushed around . corner Of the
furnace. As he disappeared there came
'sBah % from his direction. The re-
porter hurried, but the goat had turr.
I'd another corner with a "Bah !" Up
the steps they went with rush. Into
the grand bspqustiDg room, and just as
the Tyls reached it "Bah!" came out
in full fofte.
"That's a fine goat" said Captain
Clark, putting. 81 remember the night
Mayor Stokley rode him in Solomon
Lodge. Now, let's 60 for him again"
Up to the second story into the
Egy ptian Room they went, and as the
Tyler entered "Bah !" was heard.
"There it goes out the other door
into the Ionic room," shouted the Ty-
ler, who WAS trying hard to catch it,
That's q good goat. One OF your news
men was tossed by him in Crescent
Lodge. | saw him do it,
"Good heavens! Let's catch It,"
cried the reporter, and, they started OF
on a run down the long corridors, then
up stairs 10 the Knights Templ!r Asy-
lum. Just as the Captain entered there
was the familiar "Bah!" and the paper
man knew the goat was there. Catch
ing up the Grand Sacred Thingumbob
the TYLER vowed he w0uld knock its
brains out II the other fellow would go
in and drive it out. The goat could
not be found. 1t had eluded its pur-
suers and crept through the Grand Ex.
alted Gates Of Somethingorother and
reached a lower foor. The Grand Ty'
| Ter started in pursuit, and when the
otRce wa, reached Le handed the new
reporter over to another Tyler, who put
him through another rushing around
the building.
"You see, we don't raise these goats
Yourselves. They are special breed
gotten up by Dr.. Kingston Goddard, in
his incubator, out on his farm at Nor
ton Station" rem arked the Grand Ty'
lIer, "as's been in the Masonic busi'
ness so long that he knows just how tc
train the goats. When they are very
Young he tiles of the hard part of theil
| hoofs and gives them the white Of an
egg to improve their voices. Being ta
ken in hand when they are 80 very
Young. when they become old they art
very intelligent, and if a fellow puts OF
any frills they know just when he
should be tossed"
wRsTERH WITNESS.
lSt. Joseph Gazette.
Conductor Heaton is one Of the bes
bows on the Kansas City, St. JOSEPH
aud Council Bluffs road, and is also ont
OF the sharpest. 1t is not very often
man gets ahead Of him, as Pat Powers
;. of Holt county has probably found out
Hes,on was at Oregon few days sine
on some trial connected with the rail
road company. Powers as an attorney
: was cross examining Heaton and aske'
him II he would not naturally tcstif.
| in favor Of the railroad company.
"No," replied Heaton.
: "You would testify for The railroa.
rather than lose your position wouldI'
you -
"No." :,
b. you'd like to be an angel, wouldn'
yeuH" sneered Powers.
"No."
: "Why noti'
"Becsuse," was the ready answer
"I'm afraid the Lord would set me u
as a guardian angel over some red
headed lawyer from Holt county, and