The Newtown bee., 1880-03-10
TWtIN AND nAN DE GUILE.

rheir Great Indian Tight fn MeIdocsiao
 County-They Fire Whole Printing
 Office From Howitzer-A Typo
 graphical Sedan.
 It was nearly twenty years ago when |
 Dan De Guile and Mark Twain at I Exempted to start papar in Mendocino | county. They took the type and ma terial ot their recently defunct newspa | per establishment in San Francisco, and loading the stuff on a big wagon, struck out into the country to retrieve their
 fortunes. They packed their type just
 as it stood in the forms, tied up the arti- cles with stout cords by a process well
 known to printers, and packing them
 closely in boxes, vowed to establish a
 newspaper somewhere which would be
 the leading exponent of politics and his
 tory for the Pacific coast. Had not an
 unfortunate circumstance taken place it
 is quite evident that the same news
 paper which they contemplated
 founding would have been alive to-
 day. Their journey over the noun
 tains was utterly uneventful until they
 reached Simpsons station, spot well
 known to old travellers on that route.
 Here they met party of emigrants ], latter had with them a small mountain
 howitzer which they had brought with
 them acrosSthe plains.
 Twain took great fancy to this gun, and offered $50 for it with two kegs of
 powder thrown in. The emigrants were glad enough to part with it, as
 they concluded the time for its use had ' passed. Dan thought the purchase of l the artillery and military supplies was a reckless piece of extravaganza and | said as much. but Twain replied: , EEWhop NUo rt olIr manor xua r,onct fire salute. A newspaper office with artillery has a big bulge on the business
 No well-reg Hated office in California , should be without a howitzer. If man comes in for a retraction we can blow l him into the next county. The how tiger goes"
 This silenced the argument, and the next day the two journalists took the road with their printing outfit and ar tillery.
 On the next night they camped in a 3 mountain ravine fifteen miles from Simpsons, and after building the usual [ camp fire fell asleep. About eleven l o'clock the horses awakened them by
 prancing about, and the two journalists were led to the conclusion that nothing 3 less than a party of Indians were mak- l ing arrangements for night attack. In t the clear moonlight they could be dis | SiOUuU 6t lllIC tt" tSp pllS foot of the ravine The idea of encoun, = tering Indians had never entered the e heads of the two fortune-seekers, and = they had no arms. Suddenly Twain e frightened up, remarking: e ''The howitZer."
 = We've got nothing but powder |, said Dan.
 1 Well, powder'll scare lem, and wei
 load her up."
 ~{o1r IaS v with good big charge and the two me1 | felt quite certain that the Indians, hear = ing the roar of the gun, would beat al a unconditional retreat. The piece wa! h hardly loaded and placed in position r when about fifty of the redskins cam q charging up the ravine. ,- Twain seized brand from the caml y fire and was about to lay it on the touch It hole, when Dan yelled hold on," as h y rammed something into the mouth o e the piece, and remarked: :. ''Turn Ter loose"
 n The roar of the howitzer echoe, tt through the lonely forests and the say ), ages, with frantic cries of pain, reele' d down the ravine in wild confusion.
 "What in the deuce did you put in?'
 asked Mark
 "A column of solid nonpareil and
 couple of sticks of your spring poetry. |, 'The poetry did the business, Dan n Get one of your geological articles read 'l for the next charge and l guess it'll le + elte rv., nenas-ovat 4or+a taio present. vsriii u paign."
 Il The savages again advanced Mar a attended to the powder and Dan sorte s the shot. so to speak.
 5 "Jeems Pipes song, My Mountail n Home.'"
 e "Good for three Indians; sock 'er in. n aoynctia Inv Tohy, R Pida ;,, lon e primer"
 e "It'll paralyze 'en1." $ Frank Pixley on the constitution e halt a column of leaded brevier." .s If it hits lem the day is won.'' 5, Your leader on Law and Order U Save it as a last resort.n e Dan pulled the type out of the boxe r and stuffed column after column in tn q howitzer's mouth as the savages cam 't charging on. Another round from tn '- gun and the redskins rolled over an z over each other like boulders swep $ away by a mountain cloud-burst. Mark q in an ecstacy of delight, pulled al U American flag out of hls effects, naile J to the tailboard of the wagon and wa s- about to make a speech, when the dusk l55 figures of the foe were once more see 9 moving to the attack.
 ,l The piece was again loaded, and thi y time with a double charge. Mark 'e leader on Claw and Order,n the puff c ,e an auction house by Fred McCrelis Il Gas a sickener," Dan said), Franl e Gross verses, an agricultural article b ;. Sam Sebaugh, maiden poetical effor :. of Olive Harper, and some verses b s Colonel Cremeny and Frank Soule com Il T pleted the load.
 u u That poetry. reaching lem first, vii 'o throw lem into confusion, and my edi |. torial, coming upon the heels of the rest 'l will result in 8 lasting demoralization IS It will be like the last cavalry charge o the French at the battle of Austerlitz. 3 For the third and last time the faith U full howitzer belched it's typographica compliments to the advancing foe. Tn | | havoc was terrible. There was will Il yell from a score of savage threats am = then the low groans of the dying foate' y up the rayine on the gentle wind. Tn Ie two men walked over the field of slaugh
 ter and counted fifty-six aboriginal
 lying in heaps. The bodies were hor
 ribly mutilated with nonpareil, lon!
 primer, two-line pica, ,bourgeoise, ''caps, misery dashes, and unassorted pi. l, My leader cooked that mans goose, Il said Mark, pointing to a savage witt n his bowels hanging over the limb of e cedar
 d My geological article did the busi 5- ness tor him. rejoined Dan, noddinl ,f care leSSly to an Indian whosp head wa