The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1880-01-03
FUNNYGRAPHS.

NeaO I0TK IeOpH.
ARCH mans SOD lives on his nan
Boston Transcript.
CoURTsHIP is draw game--marrisco
is tie.-ChicGgo Journal.
How to drown cat? In the wator
pitch her.-Bost0n Transcript
PRIDE hath two seasons: A forward
spring and an early fall.-N Y. Ns1os.
The beautiful Dream" brand Of
mince meat is about to be placed on the
market.
A NEVADA bail report says: "Miss
- was full of eclat; the eclat-est lady
present"
MANY time there's slip 'twixt the
cup and the lip, and heaps of times
there isn't.
In the midst of life we are in daily
receipt of the congressional record
Cheyenne Leader.
CORRESPONDENT: What is the
Order of the Bath?" Go and soak your
head Cincinnati Saturday Night.
IT is very dangerous for any man to
find any spot on this broad globe that is
sweeter to him than his home.
PoET-"Do you want any OF my blank
verse;" "No, we don't want any Of
your - verse;" says the editor.
THE Frenchman who attended fox
hunt was asked where the meet came of.
Having been thrown, he replied that it
came off his hands and knees.
WHEN two women with new hats on
pass each other gu the street there is
pair of back stares made immediately
Narration Independent.
Young lady to gent whom she refuses
to recognize:
We may meet, but I shan't see you,
| There shall De one vacant stare.
-&eatenUiH. Herus
THE New Orleans Picayune feels dis.
couraged for the country when consider
ing the fact that the postal card is II
years old and no bigger than when it
first started out.
"MoNEY," says Mr.. Talmage, "is
golden. breasted bird with silver beak."
He has eveidently been near enough to
it TO throw salt on its tail.
Mr.. BYRON was once knocked UP al
an uncomfortable hour in the morning
by a friend. "Ah," he said, "a rose
two hours later would have been quite
as sweet.
omen often jump at conclusions"
says the proverb. So do dogs. One
recently jumped at the conclusion of a
cat which was sticking through the
opening of partly closed door, and Gre
ated great disturbance.
DID you ever notice the fact-0f
course you have-that tramp who
claims he has a trade but can get no
work at it, in the winter is a brickmaker
and in the summer lumberman or ice
sawyer?-Lockp0rt Union.
A BOsToN paper says: GA butterfly
was caught st the South End yester-
day" 1t may be safe enough to catch a
butterfly at the south end, but when
you go to grab wasp you want to catch
it at the north end
A HARTFORD young man, who was
about to got married, has broken the
engagement because having watched his
girl while in a hardware store he first
saw a pen-holder, and directly after a
cOrk-squeezer.
A WASHINGTON correspondent has
discovered that old salts do not marry as
quick as landsmen. This proves that
the man who is accustomed to salt breads
/
| Chronicle Herald.
LAND steward to tenant farmer
"Well, Giles, what are you going to SOW
in here?" Farmer" Amt 'zactly
made up my mind, sir; but if we could
put in few stewards and land agents
they seem to thrive best on the land
nowadays "-London Fun.
"DoEs he know anything?" anxiously
inquired q friend, bending over the body
of the man who had just fallen from the
roof. Don't know, Pm sure" the
physician replied. He never did know
anything, but you can't tell what effect
the fall may have had upon him until
he regains consciousness"
IT is said we shall soon be able to talk
to China by telephone. The next thing
will be talking around the world; then
! man can say "helloW here in Syracuse,
and pretty quick the same "hellOl"
!, would come back and take him ght in
the ear. Great thing, the telephone
Syracuse Sunday Times.
J AS sedate old man entered q railroad
car with his wife at Turo, CAL, flask
of whisky fell from his pocket. A pas
senger picked it up and altered to return
it. "Oh, it isn't my husbands" the
woman said "he never drinks or carries
liquor" No, it's not mine" the man
added uneasily." At the next station
the couple left the train; but before it
started the passengers were amused to
see the old man come back to claim the
flask.
OF the late General Hooker the young
, Hartford Conn. clergyman, Mr.. TWich-
ell, has been giving some interesting
personal "reminiscences. Mr.. Twlcheu
as chaplain, saw much of the general
during the war, and sitting in his tent
one day be said, taking the advantage OF
his position. CHOW, general, why are
you continually thinking unpleasant
things about 50 many of these your
brother officers? You are getting ola
and weare all getting old, and even II
you don't like them very much, why not
overlook their failings and be friends
with them" And the general beamed
with his gentle smile and replied
"That's right, chaplain, that's all right
as much as to say, "1hat is the eminent
ly proper thing for you in your position
to say" But" he continued, " don
you see that what | say about t1eT
gentlemen don't hurt them, and u cVe'
me heap of goodT
Bachelors and Boys.
Imagine a bachelor on principle, o.
middle aUa and O snnolI how of D or y "