davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-06-09
THE DEACON wOrLDA.W00INa GO.

The sun had disappeared behind the
hills of New Bethany, and the lingering
light on the mountain tops was chang.
ing from rose to purple, when Deacon
Pinch stopped his melancholy iold mare
in front Of the village post-ofice. It
was Saturday night, the only time when
New Bethany reused itself from its leth-
argy and showed any signs of life and
energy. The rest of the week it drowsed
and Eanguished after the fashion of small
country towns remote from railways and
manufacturing centers.
"Whoa, Mary janet" said the Dea-
con with unnecessary emphasis, throw
ing the reins on the mares broad back
and springing to the ground.
But the respondent Mary Jane had
already ceased her stumbling gait from
sheer force of habit. A ten years. SER
vice with the Deacon had made her per-
fecNy familiar with his accustomed
round of stopping places. Wednesday
night it was the prayer-meeting; Sun
day, the church-service; and Saturday
night, invariably the post-ofhce, and, as
late variation, an after-pause at the
house of Mrs. Betsy Hin, the town.
milliner, who for q quarter of century
had supplied the women of New Beth
any with head gear fearfully and won.
derfu1ly made. 4
The moment the Deacon stepped in
side the Office he knew, from the unusual
buzz of conversation, that something
extraordinary had happened.
Heard the news-eh, DeaconP''
asked one of the village loungers.
The Deacon looked UP inquiringly.
"Miss Kezia's had an amazin' streak
of luck"
"It's been nothin' but an amazin'
streak Of luck ever since she was born,' -
returned the Deacon. eff ownin' the
best farm in town and hevin' money al
interest isn't luck, I'd like to know what
u.s."
eyes, but this is something out o.
common. You used to know he,
brother, who died years ago and left
his only child for Miss Kezia
n bring up? Wa'al, wher
Old man Mead died Miss Kezia took the
farm as Der share of the property, and
her brother, bein' of q rovin' turn OF
mind, took the few thousands of per.
sonal property as his'n and invested
'em in Western lands, which turned out
wuthless, and he lost every cent he put
in. Folks always blamed him for bein'
so foolish and hasty, and they say grief
and modification like fastened his
death. Wa'al, it turns out now they
hev put q railroad square through the
lands, and it's sent real estate way up,
nobody knows where. Miss Kezia's bin
offered nigh onto eight thousand dollars
for the lands, and they say she'll gel
ever SO much more If she only holds
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-06-09
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
THE clothing mAnwhO put It OF
Lost money ON his collars,
But he who advertised In time
100 1f0H0 eHn mn -

IT'S q difficult matter to estimate the
cost Of bonnet by its size,or the wealth
Of the wearer by the elaborateness Of its
conservatory attachments.
a COUNTRY editor has written to his
member Of Congress that they must re-
move the tariff from paper pulp, add
ing that he viii get on q tariff they
dont Cincinnati Saturday Night.
II . man is determined to do the best
he can, whether he drives cart, con-
ducts business of amillion dollars or
breaches the Gospel, he can not fail.
Graphic.
PHYsICIAN to Government clerk:
"Well, what do you complain Of ?' G.
c.: Sleeplessness, doctor.' Physi-
clan: At what time do you 90 to bed ?''
G. c.: '..Oh, I don't mean at night, but
during Office hours!"
WHEN q Michigan editor told poet
ess that "box of bait - didn't rhyme
with 5. cafe-au-lait," she chucked him
out OF the window. It is not wise to
try to instruct q person in that persons
own business. Boston Post.
WE knew it would be so. Wild flow
ers are now more highly esteemed than
the choicest exotics. There was always
more beauty in the dandelion than in
q Gala lily, and as far as greens are
concerned, the dandelion can discount
any hot-house flower that grows.-New
Haue,s Register.
IT has become the custom to speak OF
| a capable newspaper man as ga prac-
tical journalist" to distinguish him from
the rest of the world. All other people
are theoretical journalists, and believe
they could run paper, if given q
chance, just as easy as slipping on a
banana peel. Philadelphia News.
JUST before prominent ex-office-
holder of Hartford retired the other
night, he got down on his hands and
knees and peered anxiously under the
bed. "What in the world are you
looking for, Edward?" inquired his
wife. Looking for a woman"
promptly replied her husband. "You've
been looking for a man under the bed
for fifteen years, and thought I'd start
hunt for d woman, and III bet I'll
find the woman before you do the man. !"
|-Hartford Post.
| POOR little boy,
Pooling with q gun, a..
Didn't know twas loaded.
| SOrOwing followed fun.
Ten in the morning,
Funeral service read
| Servant girl Mt work,
! Filling lighted lamp
| Safety oil, never exploded
. Trouble in the camp;
Hearse at the door;
Another Bridget dead.
Child on the car track.
Driver couldn't see.
Coroner called, all the same
Collected his fec.
No one to blame.
| Can such things be?
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

A correspondent Of the Courier
journal, after telling Of the origin Of
the salvisa fire, says:
Tho relation Of the above brings TO
mind an incident told hero day or
two ago by Hon. NJ. J. Durham first,
since then by others who were near at
the time of the drowning of Col. VIM.
Mckee Fox, which occurred on the
18th, in the Cumberland river. Ev-
cry effort had been made tn recover
the body by seining, dragging, diving,
etc, and the searching party had
nearly exhausted their efforts and
were about to despair of finding it,
when some old sailor, happening by,
said he had heard old seamen tell Of
lost bodies being found by taking
some garment of the drowned person
and casting it into the water, when
the garment would float around until
il reached spot over the body and
then sink. This experiment was tried
as n last resort. One Of the party went
to the tent, and finding one of Col.
Fox's shirts threw it into the river.
1t is said by those present, and is
generally credited, and is, | am in.
formed, believed to be true by Judge
Durham, that the shirt actually
hoated down the river several hun.
dred yards, and then crossing
sank near the opposite bank, rear the
spot where, after few minutes search,
the body was found. Mr.. Parker
Hardin, and others from Harrods.
burg, who were fishing at the time in
the Cumberland river. report the
same singular incident. This is ex-
plained by some upon philosophical
principle; by the ignorant mountain
GERS it is regarded superstitiously.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04
Adrlce 10 Gir.Is.

In marrying make your own match;
do not marry a man to get rid OF
him. or to oblige him, or to save
him. The man who would 60 TO de-
struction without you will quite likely
go with you, and perhaps drag you
along. Do not marry in haste. lest
you repent at leisure. Do not marry
for a home or a living. Do not let
aunts, fathers or mothers sell you Tor
money or position into bondage. tears,
and life long misery, which you must
endure. Place not yourself habitual-
ly in the hands Of any sutton, until
you have decided the question of mar
riage; human wills are weak, and
people often become bewildered, and
do not know their error until it is too
late. Get away from their influence,
settle your head and make up your
mind alone. Remember that in nine
cases out of ten you choose for life
time--one might almost say for eter'
nifty. DO not trust your happiness in
the keeping of one who has no heart,
no head. no health. Shun the man
who ever gets intoxicated. DO moi
rush thoughtlessly, hastily, into we'd
ded life, contrary to the counsel oI
friends. Love can wait; that which
cannot wait is of very different
character.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

Mrs. wilkins, of Oxford, N. C.,
had three children of her own and
was stepmother to boy. The latter
annoyed her by stealing eatables from
the pantry, and she tried in vain to
prevent his depredations. She locked
the daintiest of the food in chest,
and he opened it with a skeleton key.
Finally she poisoned some cake, put it
in closet, and went away for days
visit. On her return, instead of find
ing that the boy was dead, she saw
the remains of two of her children
who had been killed by the poison.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04
me sterp Of Tsi.Ien.. Lore.

The story of Tilden's love is the
saddesi page in all the long history Of
his eventful life. Let HIM tell the
people how in the first bloom Of early
manhood he was betrothed 10 a beau.
tiful lady Of one Of the old families of
New York; how her parents decreed
that on account OF her youth she
should spend two summers in Europe
before her marriage; how they pledged
eternal fidelity to each other, and reg
istered their VOWS at parting that no
matter how many years might inter
vene each heart should beat sacrediy
for the other till a kindlier fate should
reunite them; how the loved one sail
ed away ia the famous but ill.iated
steamship President, from which NJ
tidings have ever yet been brought
back; how annually, on the day thai
the hrewells were spoken, he repair
TO the sea-shore, and listening to thu
sad murmur of the waves renews hi
vow; and how, through all the tempta
tons that have come with long lii'
of influence, wealth and power. tn
pledge Of his youth has been faithful
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

Fire insurance policies do not in
clude in their indemnity among other
things the following Fences aud 9th
er fixtures, and plaie-glass doors and
windows when the plates are OF the
.iimensians- Of lhrec feet or more.
Il il important that this fact he
mentioned in the wording Of the poll
cy, if such articles are 10 be included
under the policy. Careless, ignorant
or unsophisticated brokers and agents
very frequently make mistakes ia this
respect.
The following articles are also not
included in the security Of fire in
surance policy, unless mentioned, viz;
jewelry, plate. watches, musical in
struments, ornaments, metals, curios'
tiles, patterns, printed books, printed
music engravings, printing, picture
frames. sculpture, casts and models,
money or bullion, bills, notes, ac'
counts, deeds, evidences of debt OF
securities. These should always bt
specified.
fla building falls, no insurance
will attach, or cover its loss, unless il
is caused by fire.
Stolen property Is not to be paid
for by the insurance company.
Losses from explosions are not to
be paid, unless fire ensues. and then
only actual fire loss is to he settled
for.
Property standing on leased ground
must be so represented to the company
and expressed in the policy.
Goods on storage must be insured
as such.
The assured, in case of n fire, mus
invariably do his best to save il, and
carelessness in this respect will vitiat'
his claim. In no instance shall hi
abandon his premises to fremen oil
thieves.
Where a party has reliable ant
intelligent representative, agent oil
broker. whose business it is to stud,
these points, and consult his own ant
the assured's interest by so doing, it i
sometimes safer to risk it by attending
TO the insurance himself.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

There is music enough in these
three words for the burden Of n song,
There is a hope wrapped up in them,
and an articulaie heat Of n human
heart.
By.and-bye. We heard it as long
ago rs we can remember, when we
made brief but perilous Journeys from
chair to table, and from table TO chair
again. We heard il the other day,
when two parted that had been Glow
ing in their lives" the one to Califor
mia, the other to her lonely homo.
Everybody says il, some time or
other. The boy whispers il to him
self, when he dreams of exchanging
the stubbed little shoes for boots like
a man. The man mwmurs it-when
in liie's middle watch he secs his
plans half finished, and his hopes, yet
in bud, waving in cold, late spring.
The old man says it when he thinks
of putting off the. mortal for the i'm
mortal, today for tomorrow. The
weary watcher for the morning, whites
away the dark hours with by and-bye
-by-and-bye.'
Sometimes it sounds like song;
sometimes there is a sigh or a sob in
it. What wouldn't the world give TO
find it in the almanac--set down
somewhere, no matter If in the dead
Of December-to know il would sure
ly come. But, fairy-like as it is,
fitting like star-beam over the dewy
shadows of the years, nobody can
spare it--and when we look back up
on the many times those words have
beguiled US, the memory Of that silver
by-and.bye, is like the sunrise of Os'
sian, pheasant but mournful to the
soul.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04
nv az Mrnn. Ne ca saifsr.

An editor is the happiest being on
earth. lie has little or nothing to do,
and his pay IS all that heart could
wish. His sanctum, with its Persian
rugs and Turkish carpets, its costly
rosewood furniture, its magnificent
mirrors, its beautiful pictures, its
complete library oi .piesdii!y bound
books, is silver bell TO summon an
attendant, and in short, with its ev-
erything that human ingenuity can
devise for his comfort and pleasure, is
perfect little paradise, where he sits
or lounges and reigns n young lord,
with the world Of fashion and pleas
ure at his feet, Aud then anybody
can be an editor-no study, no pre-
paraiion, no brains, nothing but lit
tie money TO start with, aud once
started the money pours in upon YOU
in a steady stream, and the chief Ia
.. D.,
o'' :" '"u' ",' :, " 'i'"' :" rs
io' '"e 'Aoo' VI eu''''s ""'.'p"I'''
'na' Is me'' '"Oo"'"'"o' "'''
g'an0' ~ tue 'o''','"' vi n'"'r"i"
Is enoug" 70 c0"''noe you '"a' !" 'e
qu'icS no 'A'O' 70 S''' ~ anu rs, No.
Drains. IL Is certainly "g'O''Oa' '''e
'ha' OF an eui'of' me Oh luxurious
ease ana OF elegant 'e''ufe,a INC
hi'eo' IKE 'na' o. young 'o'e' ~
MS hrS' dream Oh requ''ed 'oVe' WIN
flutes ana rose leaves ana moonoea"',
Ihat all men are mol ed''ors Is one OIL
The S'ranseS' 'h'ng' nenea'h the ''a's'
lrne' thefe must pe uoctors anu Ia"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04
things You Don't Beiiere.

When an old acquaintance meets
you after a long separation, and put
ting his hand like a dead fish into
yours, says, in tone as feeling as a
calliope's, 81 am glad to see you" you
don't believe a word he says. When
a woman with a bayonet nose and a
breach-loading eye calls her husband
darling" you want to hear from the
family bed chamber through an auger
hole before you believe it-unless you
are a fat man yourself.
When pretty young woman tells
you that she shall never, never marry,
you don't believe tiff you are a
married man. When a man takes an
over ahectionate interest in another
mans wife, and the wife tries to con.
vince you that il is the brotherly in
terest he takes in the husband you
don't believe tiff you happen to be
the husband yourself When young
roisterer is logged home stone-blind
ON New Years day; and swears oil in
the dead middle of night for the
whole year, you don't believe the hall
of the whole. When gentleman ];
frequently seen issuing from behind a
painted screen with a painted nose,
you don't believe his story about cry
sipelas being the artist.--Cincinnat
Saturday Night.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

a STRANGE L0IE.

ciaspcd her STRUGGLING 10 my heart
whispcrcd love unknown
one lis. on hef red lips ! rrc-.cd
Aad she ~a- all ny o~a.
loved her With love profound.
Zen death could not destroy,
Aud yet. must conic-s, I k,und
Ny bliss had some alloy.
Tof once I sa~ her unauap
Upon q icilou's lap;
lie claiming Hiss. riIs and rare
Idid not like The chap.
She had -osae faults l-s have ve all
Hat one I hol.e 10 ihrottis
she had, alas. shat may call
A uoakness fof the bottle
One morn caught hcI crc uas uiads
iicf toiiet, aud leneath
And old sirAv hat her laugh ,cirayci
Ny dariiag had no teeth.
Unconscious Of my prr-eacc she
with artful antics nfe
ToSe,i on the bet and ,sracioas ms
Her hca a vas ainus hair.
bat love u lounde,i on a rs,k,
And mighty In IL might
For could learn withoat a sheck
She couI not read not write.
she ooaid not dance % sing tune,
And scarrrly couii oonvcrse
hat what caTci ], she was my o~n.
Dor better of ior wofse.
Aud yet loved her and ooni,--cJ
Devotion, and, u may h.,
ioa'd DO the same u you I-,-ss.--i
Aaother such baby,
Ii. z. nslse. In p.irall Ilrr rr...
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

STAND Ar THE HEAD.-Ioung
man. if you are going to be a farmer
be a good one. BE the chief worker
yourself. Ii is the first that wins es-
TEEN and respect. Study, observe
and listen, and gather information
pertaining to your business from every
source, and you can soon know as
much as any one. Let no day pass
you without some increase of knowl.
edge. Whatever stock you have let
il be good. and take good care of it.,
and improve it as fast as your means
will admit. Whatever fruit you have
let it be choice, and study how to i'm
prove it, how to market it so as to
get the highest price. II YOU have
a garden:let it be the first in the neigh
borhood. BE at the head of the class,
not third, or at the foot.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04


That your humbie position Il only assumed
You're wolf IN sleeps clothing, gr oi-c you're q
fool
But don't get excited, Keep perfectly cool,
for people vii laik.
Ifgcnerous and noble. they vent out their SPLEEN,
Yoa'f have some loud hints that you're sela.h.
aud mean;
II upright and honest and faif as the day,
They'll call you rogue 10 sly sneatins way.
For people wili ialk.
And then " you show the least ioldncss Of heart.
~ slight inclination ., take your own part.
They'll call you an ur-tart, eonceitei and vain;
But tcep straight ahead, dou'i stop 10 explain,
boz people gill talt.
Ifthrcaibarc you dres. OF oli-iashionel your hat
There are -ome Who will surely take notice Of that
And hiatt rather strong tina, you can, pay your way
Bat don't l,ci excite.i. whatever thcs -ay.
For people VIII tain.
II you dre-- In the ASHTON, don't think 10 escape
Dor they cfiticlse then In a different shape
Neu'fe ahead of our means, your ialof's unpaid
Hat mind yeut own business, thesv's nausht To be-
made,
Dor peopl viii ,alt.
Nos the bc-i way 10 DO T. 10 Do as you Plea-o,
Dor your mind " you haseone viii then heat ease
Of ccur.e you will meet With alt -oFts of ahu-s,
bat don't THAI 10 stop them. Is not any u-,
forp-ople viii talt.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

"Well, | declare, said stranger
the other day as he looked at a Ro-
mans boots, "when they were dealing
out feet they were pretty liberal with
you. weren't they" "Yes," replied
the Roman, "they seem to have been
rather more liberal with me in that
particular than they were with you
when dealing out brains" The strang-
er turned red in the face and walked
of. lie has not been seen since, and
it is presumed he has hidden himself
away to mediate privately on physio-
logical extremities and the anatomy
OF cute remarks Rome Sentinel.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

Nothing is more pathetic than to
see a gentleman rise in street car
and offer his seat to a lady who has
been standing for a mile, overcome
her protestations and finally receive
her gratitude, and then with benig-
nant and satisfied smile, hop right of
at his own door.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

Proctor says the ocean contains
about $500, 900 tons of water. This
tallies with our figures the last time
we weighed it, but there have been
several rains since Binghampton
Republican.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

There is not a single liquor saloon
in any town ON the line of the East
Tennessee and Georgia railroad, be-
tween Chattanooga and Knoxville. a
distance of ll2 miles. - Courier
Journal.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04
OvE DOIIfR.

During the exciting and important
campaign We are about to enter, the
INTERIOR JOURNAL will give thc
latest and most reliable news Of the
progress Of events, and to the end
that evcryhaj ), ma = keep abreast with
them, we have decided To send il
from now till January LIST, 1881,
for ONE DOLLAR, to all CASH subscri-
bers. Send in your dollar now and
get the full benefit of il.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

A London physician cured lady
of deafness by taking her into the ca
thedral tower near one of the bells as
the hammer fell upon it. The force
OF the sound fractured the obstruction
10 the ear.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

A short Italian prayer which is not
without wisdom II pray that | may
never be married. But if | marry, !
pray that | may not be deceived. But
il | am deceived, | pray that ! may
not know it. But if | know it, pray
that may be able to laugh at the
whole affair"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

A countryman makes arrangements
to have his portrait painted by an ar
fist who has offered to paint it for
fifty francs. "And you guarantee to
give me a good likeness" "Oh, no,
not at that price-merely family re-
semblance." -[ Paris Paper.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

A Nashville Snowman hired a mar
velously ugly and mishapen negro,
put him into a huge trough of mud,
and exhibited him as "human hog"
But the man proved that mud was
not his natural element by catching
cold and dying of pneumonia.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04
The Electoral Tote
Numbers 1863 and is distributed as fol-

A boy fell into vat of potash at
Danielsonville, Mass, two years ago,
and the skin OF both legs was destroy
ed. A resort was had to skin graft
ing, and over 1900 bits of cuticle,
from the boys mother, the family
coachman and several accommodating
neighbors have been used. The re-
suit is completely successful.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

A candidate for the office of Record.
er of Jasper county, Ohio, solicited
votes ON the ground that, il elected.
he would return half his salary to the
public treasury. lie was elected. but
the Supreme Court has declared the
election void, because the inducement
that he offered to voters was in the
nature OF bride.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

"IIow many deaths'" asked the
hospital physician while going his
rounds. "Nine." "Why, | ordered
medicine for ten" "Yes, but one
wouldn't take IT,"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

A Washington correspondent writes
that both Rhode Island Senators ''are
single men and childless." In view
OF the fact that they are single, their
being childless is a grand idea.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

Flour is like utter, it absorbs smell
readily. 1t should not he kept in a
place where there are onions, fish,
vegetables, decayed or other odorous
substances, nor in damp room or
cellar. Keep in cool, dry, airy
room, where not exposed to freezing
temperature, nor to one above 20 de
grees, and always sift before using.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04

1t is said that boiled hams are much
nicer to stand in the water in which
they were boiled until cold. The out
side does not then turn black and dry
up as il does when taken from the wa
ter to cool; but remember TO remove
the Ind of the kettle, so that the steam
may escape.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-06-04
BSTABLrSII 1866.
WARS BRYANT & STRATT0N
BUSINESS COLLEGE,

No. so Main St., Near Third, LOUlSVILLEikY.
Largest Institution OF The Kind In The South.
Thorouqh Business Course Book keeping Penmanshp and
Arithmetic are Our Spccates.
WARS BRYANT sTRATT0N COLLEGE and
Teachers Can BE Found
in the Land.
TERMS Year. Month"; So boarding. SI2 per
Average including Hoard SiOO.
WRITE COLLEGE JOURNAL
WAR; BURKs. Proprietors