Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-31
Banks Babes

was detained over Sunday In Barns
bury, and on Sunday morning resolv-
Cd to GO to church. The first church
came to, small frame structure with a
wooden stsepls, had the doors and win
dows tightly shut, but there was man
sitting on the front steps whiting a
stick, and said to him:
Are you ccnnected with this church ?
Yes, no said, am the sexton.
What is it closed fol?
Well, mostly on account Of Banks
babies.
Babies!
Sir down, and I'll tell you about 1t.
You know Banks, he came to this place
t. live . few weeks ago Il perfect
stranger and rented 8 rev Ia this
church. Ii seems that Banks had three
little babies, triplets not MORN two
months old, aud then besides these. he
has twins about year old. So nobody
knew about the babies, but Banks want
Cd to have the little darlinss baptlsed.
and he allowed 10 Mrs. Banks that 10
rush the whole Ave babies into church
OH Sunday might excite remark, you
understand. So he settled it that he'd
have them ehristened gradually, so TO
speak. Accordingly the next Sunday
he fetched little JiRmy, ono Of ihe
triplets, and all went oil well enough.
Ga she following Sunday he came q
promenadin' up the aisle with George
Washington, another triple, and Dr..
Rinns, our preacher, he fixed him up
all right. People thought 1t was queer,
but when on next Sunday morniE'
Banks and mis- wife came into church
" ith another baby, William Henry,
crying, some Of the folks couldn't help
anickering. Howsoever, nobody COM
p'aiued, and all might have been well
If Banks hadA't come along tine Sunday
sitter with Elijah Hunsiker Banks, one
Of the twins. Everybody laughed, and
lir. and Mrs. Banks were furious-msd
a. everything, you know; and when
EHjah Hunsiker Banks hauled 0faeci-
dentally with his hand and hit Dr..
Blnns, whs was holding him during
the ceremony, q whaek in the face, and
the doctor dropped him In the water,
the congrsgsto last fairly reared with
laughter. Mrs. Banks turned red as
IRE, and looked as If she would like to
murder somebody. Well, you knew,
We all thought this was the last, and
public feeling kinder slnmered down
en- toward the end Of the week, when
y he should come sailing up the aisle
sn Sunday morning but Mr.. and Mrs.
Banks with Tecumseh Banks, the re-
n.ainin' twin! Well, you ought just 10
tsve heard that congregation laugh.
Inever seen nethln' like 1t in all my
experience. Kven DIR. Binns had to
smile. And the Bankses, they were
Perfectly wild With rage. Anyhow,
shsy bsptised Tecumseh; and after
Sieetin' some Of the elders 20: jokin'
asout It. One allowed that arrange
hents ought to be made 10 divert
uueklebery creek and run II down the
middle aisle of the church, another
made some kind OF joke about busi-
ness being good because so many banks
were in town; another said that Banks
would seed about twelve pews when
Lis family grew up. Somebody must
have told Banks about 1t, for what does
lie do TO revenge himself? lie sends
Gow.. to Clarion county TO his two sis
tiers 10 come and bring their children.
80 they had = couple Of babies apiece,
Ind as soon as they arrived Banks he
legins to bring them TO church gradU-
ally, like the others. You never seed
such meetings as them The church
>.as damned full and just rsarin'. AID
when Banks came Sunday with the
fourth and last OF his sIsters' babies,
trustees thought il was time TO inter-
Iere. Gettin' to be farce, you know
50 Deacon Smith he stepped up and
haii somethin' or ether to Banks, aud
Banks quicker'n . wink, laid down the
baby and banged the deacon with his
list. And then, dunno how 1t was, but
in q minute there was Banks and Dea-
con Smith and Deacon Hubbard, and
Banks's SISTERS bahy and ne, all q
rollin' and bumpin' over the aoor. hit
Tin and whoePin' in manner that was
ridiculous to behold. And when we
nIl came to and got Strengthened ont,
Banks picked up the battered baby of
his sister and quit, and the trustees
held an informal neetiR' and agreed 10
.lese the church fer a month SOS TO
kinder freeze Banks out, and now
we've shut sp; but reckon 1t is no
use, for hear Banks has got his back
up and geas over and joined the Bap-
lists.
So l said good day to the sexton, and
went Ia search Of another sanctuary.