The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1880-12-09

| thunder; and gentlemen, L am open to
a treat all round; but [ ask it, in all
honesty, what is Thanksgiven' if there
amt nothin' to be thankful for?'
SLIGHTLY MIXED.
How Two Political Speakers Got Into
The Wrong Meetings.
| San Francisco Post.
The following good joke, in which a
worthy member of the bar, Judge F.,
figures, is worthy of space. 1t is a tale
of Watts tract, suburb of Oakland,
of political meetings and enraged au-
diences. The political cauldron of
Watts tract had for weeks been boil
ing over Meetings had been held
nightly, and the best Of local speakers
had tried to enlighten the intelligent
people ofthe tract. The success of the
democrats and republicans alike was
SO dubious that both parties by a
singular coincidence, resolved to hold
a grand mass-meeting, appointing the
same evening, and both parties called
on the state central committee for an
orator.
The meetings were set for Wcdnes-
day evening last. At an early hour
that evening Judge F. who had consent
ed to speak at the tract, boarded a
ferry steamer, and did also noted
republican orator. The judge had been
cautioned by the democratic committee
to draw it mild Us the republicans of
the tract were weakening, and if their
party was not abused too much they
could be won over The republican
orator had also been warned that the
party over there needed bracing up,
and that democracy must be denounc-
ed in unmeasured terms. Watts
tract was reached in due time and the
politicians separated, the republican to
seek his partys' gathering and Judge
f. to find the democratic wigwam.
This was, as he supposed soon found.
The hall was blazing with lights, while
in front bontires glared, and a band of
music aided in making the night
hideous. In walked Judge F., intro
duced himself as the speaker from the
state central committee, and was in
turn presented to the audience as the
! orator Of the evening.
After the applause had subsidized,
He spoke not too abusively Of ''the in
famous course of the republicans" and
finally rounded a sentence with a grand
peroration to the democracy. TIL en-
he paused for breath and for applause
But oh, amazement. There was not
the slightest expression of satisfaction
not a single cheer was heard. In
stead, dozen auditors arose, pulled up
their coat collars, put on their hats and
left. Again and again did the judge
attempt to fire the hearts Of those be-
fore him, and on each occasion did
small groups get up and meander sad
with but handful of spectators before
him, he closed the most discouraging
effort of his life with scathing denun-
citation Of the republicans, and an APP
peal to all to join the democracy. The
effect of this, although magical, was far
different from that expected. Up rose
the remnant Of the audience and
swarmed upon the platform with indig-
nant faces, while the chairman, with
ill-concealed contempt and in sneering
tones, demanded of the speaker if he
had ever spoken in San Francisco?'
ooh, yes, very often," was the re-
Spouse Of the wondering judge "Why
do you ask ?" "And have you express
ed the same opinions given this even
ing" Eyes, SIR again responded the
orator. "And were they well received %
"Always; but look here, what's the
meaning of this % demanded the
Judge. Meaning! The meaning is
that in the opinion Of us republicans,
you republicans over the bay have
got the--politics that we ever heard
OFF, "AIe republican, fairly yelled
the Judge; and then realizing for the
first time that he had made a mistake.
and had been addressing a republican
gathering, the eloquent orator seized
his hat, and, without waiting to explain
matters, made for the depot. Here the
irate and Tuning orator encountered his
republican friend, but OF, whata contrast
the tigu e befor him--which looked as
if it had been run through quartz mill
present to the gentlemanly-lo looking
orator Of an hour before. His story
was a pitiful one.
you see, judge" said he, "when I
| left you | found my way to what l sup
posed was a republican meeting. l was
introduced and mounted the platform,
and opened up by pouring 4 broadside
into the unterriticd democracy and the
solid south. I did not notice signs of
the gathering storm in the faces before
me, or might have saved myself.
When finished my opening burst of
| eloquence a shout arose from a hun
dred throats, and there was rush for
the platform, and l was seized by q
dozen men, the window was thrown up,
and [ felt myselfshot out into the air,
and knew nothing more until I came
to in the branches of tall oak, into
which l had mira culously fallen. Talk
about the turbulent democracy and the
quarlsome workingmen; all have to
say is this, judge, that them Watts
tract republicans beat them ALL"
The judge softly smiled, winked to
himself, and then hypocritically offered
coincidence, but very wisely kept his
counsel.