Middletown transcript., 1880-03-06
CHIPS.

A heated discussion is poor thing for a
disenterested person 10 keep warm by.
Girls should be little cautious this year
how they ask young men if they like pop"
Pedigree is a great thing in It's way, but,
alone, il isn't worth cent on the back Of a
ninety day note.
The young man who wants 10 get up with
The snn mnst not sit M too Late with the
daughter.
Mr.. Tilden does not take any stock in the
new puzzle Of Is; be khcws enough about
to games.
There is deal Of conteutment in this world
for everybody who can find il without trying
to steal some one else's share.
Most men enjoy joke like they do snow
balling match the thing is immensely funny
until stray shot reaches tender place.
Married men are necessarially great inven-
tors. Many Of them have to invent new
excuse every time they stay ont after p. NJ.
Edison is very certain that his electric light
will soon be perfected, but country villages
will prefer to hold on to the moon, at least
until the thing has been fairly tested
After joke has gone through all the patent
outsides, and has done duty for a seasons
edition Of comic almanacs, it is usually lost
sight Of until it turns up in the Editors
drawer Of $4 monthly.
Alfred Tennyson's baby-verses in a recent
number Of an American monthly read very
well, bearing, as they do, the trade mark Of
Alfred Tennyson, but . young poet would be
rash indeed who would take such stuff to an
editor without having first taken out an acci-
dent insurance policy on his life.
1t is best to not have too much faith in the
young man who sits on The grocery counter
all winter telling what he is going 10 do in
the spring, for, when spring comes, be Il only
move out to the goods-box on the porch and
carve his name with barlow knife, while be
tells what be would have done this spring,
chad be only thought about it in time"
Fish are generally weighed in their own
scales.-Ron,e Sentinel.
Beware Of dried apples; they live not wise
ly, but to swell.-Meriden Recorder.
'tWhat is home without father 2" ask
an exchange. It's mighty good place TO
court a girl in.-Salem Sunbeam
The fences Of the United States cost about
$4,000, 600, 900, and the offences somewhat
more.-HarJord Sunday Journal.
A correspondent wants to know how long
bees live. About the same as short bees, we
suppose Cincinnati Saturday Mgh
The cry Of the Salt Lake elders is for more
women; the cry Of the New England maidens
is for NOR men.-Marathon Independent
Mariana" writes TO ask how she shall
60 about it to get husband. Mariana, its
leap year. go as you please '-Salem Sun
beam.
It does not pay to write poetry To be
sure Tennyson is worth a million dollars, but
he made il all since be quit writing poetry
Tom Weaver.
The married men Of Chattanooga see trouble
brewing in the dim vista Of the future. A
proom-handle factory is to be started there
Waterloo Observer.
Sally" said fellow to a girl who had
reQ nalrj Keep away ITOtu He, or you II sci
me on fire." mo danger Of that, replied
the girl; "you are too green to burn e.
american Punch.
A great deal Of the fun in this world is like
a talk through the telephone the man with
his ear to tue instrument enjoys the joke that
comes singing through the wire, while the
looker-on wonders what in the thunder there
is TO laugh Haekensdsk Republican,
We protest against the folly Of this senseless
demand that The money Of the land should be
kept in circulation. That's just the trouble
with il; it circulates too fast What we are
trying 10 do is to stop little Of il right at
the very number where the ca rrier leaves our
letters.-Burlington Hawkeye.
"Theres something about your daughter"
Mr.. Wanghop said refectivelr, there's some
thing about your daughter" Yes" said
old'Mr. Thstlepod, there is, | had noticed |
it myself It comes every evening about
eight o'clock, and il doesn't get away usually
till about two. And some Of these nights ! |
am going to lift il all the way from The front
parlor to the side gate and see what there il
in it."-Burlington Rasgkeye.