Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-12-02
THE HERALD.
An Awful Boy.

AL A va IA b0Ys
He was a precocious boy He
never stood on ceremony to ask
questions and give little delecta.
bic history of matters that came un-
der bis observation. A visit to a
neighbor was ever the occasion of
his expoundiug the unwritten an.
neIs Of the paternal queries.
j say, mister, you amt got as
purity house as pap
well. no, Johnny / believe not
'Pap's got a country house,
too
"A country house, bub.'
'Yes, cir, cause | heard him say
TO ma that if she kept putting on
such alfred style that we'd have to
go to the county house. Guess ma
will be glad to 60. Heaps of sty lie
there, suppose, and she will have
70 powder and prink and paint her
face to hide the yaller liko the 9TH
er women folks about there. | am
going to get me little pony, and q
whip with a white, and a.
whist Johnny, you're a little
fool
NO 1 amt. | am real mad with
you, now, and If l was as big as
pap, I'd tear everything around
here out of shape, like he does al
home when ma calls him ugly
names. You are whistliDg, mister,
| do know something What are
them things for p
They are pads, sonny, for keep
ing the collar from hurting the
horses breast
Guess sis dress hurts bad she
wears two of them pads
do you like hash p
well, my boy, it depends on the
quality of IT.
How would breeches hash go
down with you?'
why, child, what are you talks
ing atout they don't make that
kind Of hssh.'
'fhey don't eb? Ma made bash
for breskfast and pa hsrpooned
hutton and 3 ausper Ter buckle ir il.
Fl W, mee = a seal led est Yau
4 ben er not let him heer you say
hey don't make brooches hash.
Golly, we'll have splendid hseh at
the county house. Our Polly bas q
beau =, Y
She has, has she 2 r
Yes, sir IIe's regular spoony on
her too. H - nobby, | tell you
wears plies IF jAwelry. SIS boxss
mr. a,s bein' as ! 4 mt talk polite
afor him She has got TO let up on
punching my head
Slang is ugly johnny
You're shouting, and Polly is
Just powerful ont Pap don't like
her Teller; he says he smells like a
consignment of perfoomery That's
what pap calls it. He thinks he's
smart. Polly thinks it cause he's al.
ways spouting bout balls, fashions,
style and a whole lot of other fool
stuff. Did you buy that dueout p
Yes, johnny
we got an OLD dugout better than
that in the barn for the hen to lay
in Who made up your shirt?"
My wife,"
PA put on clean shirt the last
he's had near a month ago, the day
Polly's Teller was due. Twas burned
all over from the iron He was rag.
ing mad, was pap; he said it looked
likes If it had been cantered over a
corduroy road through prairie fire
'Taln't style to be able to make up
shirts, or wash, or cook, or to cut the
buttons out afore making breecbes
hash, | 'spect it amt
Maybe not bub'
Can you write ?
"a little, Johnny
Brother packs book-a diary he
calls it.-with pencil peeping out
of it enough to be seen plain, and you
couldn't tell the crooks and crosses
he makes from the Chinese alphabet.
Ho! doggy, dog! Got fleas on him?'
Il dunno, child
I've Just got loads of 'em on me,
and so has brother and pap aad ma,
too Pap says feas come from darned
near perpetual motion. You mustn't
hint at feas to sis when you see her !;
she'd skin me if she found ont Id
said fleas to you
Il won't say word about them
you can come out strong on bed
bugs, though; we don't board any OF
'em. like you, mister yes | do
you do? I'm glad
Indeed and indeed | do, though
ma says you're nothing but a regular
old-fashioned scarecrow without any
style, and your wife a gawky dowdy,
ONLY fit for a pot walloper.'
johnny you must be mistaken /;
your ma is 10 much of lady to say
such naughty things Of any person.
'Shucks ! Amt ladies got any
more privileges then common folks,
mister? You BIT Your bottom dollar
they have Can't ser much with a
glass eve cer yen?
Not much
'Twonld mske q bully marble
'spect
j dunno, sonny
Aunt Arsheila had real shiny
one; none knows but our folks. She
says if | tell 10 one she'll gimme i,
when she's married II she don't III
hook it when she's asleep
Your sister is calling you.J Johnny.
That darned drug store again,
bet, freckle wash this time sure. Mis-.
ter, won't you 60 to the country
house 10 see us all; we'll be gong