The Red Cloud chief., 1880-02-26

| DftsthG Q Hens
DID you ever undertake TO drive .
! hen apywheres II pot. thea never say
"wbere there's 4 will there's WAY" or
"all things are possible 10 him who per-
~seyeres," because you don't know any
thins arcu. 4.
Driving ahsn properly. and decorous-
", and successfully. requires more skill
than capturing a herd 81 buffalo.
The hen you want to drive Is always
4 strong-mfnded hen. II she had been
a woman she woald have wanted the
ballot long ago. and her husband would
have had to keep quiet when she "go'
sci" on any thing. But, being only a
hen. all she can do is 20 cackle, anc
be contrary, and thwart you at. every
turn:
IL you want her 20 20 IN somewhere
she'll be sure to want 10 90 Out, and
rtce rersa. You want To drive her mos;
when she gets ont If the coop. and gets
into your garden. Ia the total d~es,ruc-
ton 81 vour pet bulbs, and roots, and
seeds, and every thing else. One smart,
active hen will do more harm in a gar
den in one hour than a COW would do in
half a day.
A hen is born with the instinct tn ge;
at the root of the matter, and she follows
out her nature.
When your hen gets out Of conine-
ment she makes straight for your choic-
est hower-bed, and she stays there for
an hour before you discover her. BY
that time she has dug put every thing
that you cared any thing about. and has
buried herself up, all but her head. and
then she lies in the sun with happiness
and triumph in her speaking counte-
M
How mad you are. You feel a. II
YOU could sever her joints and make
her into a pot-pie with a will-no mat
ter ii she is one of a trio that cost ten
dollars.
You 90 for her with energy, and
scream out 'shOOi" TO her, and flourish
your apron, and make wild gestures in
her direction, and call your husband,
and the children, and the hired girl, TO
help drive her into her quarters.
Now, il is never any use TO call a man
to help drive a hen. We are willing TO
admit that the lords of creation a do
quantities of things that the weaker sex
can not, but there Is thing a man
can never do-and that is to drive a
hen.
He'll break the rake handle, and get
hung in the clothes-line, and lose his
hat. and fall down over the croquet
wickets, and burst off two or three Of
his s%uspender buttons, and the hen will
fly up on top of the barn, or take refuge
In the tallest tree on the premises, and
there she will stay and laugh at him till
she is ready To come down. And all
the men I'm creation can not drive her
down, for she knows that she has got
things her own way.
Your hen that you are going to drive
generally cackles all the time you are
trying to drive her. 1t gives her cour-
age, perhaps, to defy you. II is like
the music of a martial band when the
troops are marching into battle. 1t is
as inspiriting as the strains of Yankee
Doodle to the hens ear. You try gen.
tleness first.
"Shoo, biddy! shoe, biddy! shoe,
there!" and she plungcs off in the d.
rection contrary To the one you wish her
to 90 in; and then you draw off your
forces and execute Il flank movement,
and open :" her up, but, presto! just as
you think You have got her, she squats
and gives IL scoot right out under your
skirts. AID away she goes free rs air.
Then you get some corn and try to bride
her. Oh, no, she doesn't want any corn,
thank you. She is above bribery. She
doesn't take any stock in your "chicky!
chicky! chicky!" delivered in your
most cajolingof voices. Still she cackles.
All the roosters cackle, too, evidently
tickled with her spunk. A few hens
who are not curious join in. All the
neighbors will be looking out to see
Z" what on earth you are making them
hens screech so for"
Your husband gets a pole and makes
a dive for that hen. He'll fix her cackle
for her! he says; she'll 60 into that hen
house, or he'll know the reason.
And by the time he has chased her all
over the premises, and torn his pants,
and knocked a piece of skin off his
hand, and run over little Charley, he
does find out the reason. 1t is because
is not of a mind to 60 into that hen
house.
And he says that hens are a nuisance,
and that he'd kill the whole of 'em, and
be wishes there had never been one in
vented.
BY this time you are tired of his help,
and you request him to 60 away and
drive that hen in.
Then you begin. The hen begins,
too. She flies over the fence, and up
a neighbours woodshed, and down
into somebody's pig-pen, and the pig
lakes after her with vim, and she flies
out with a screech, and runs under the
barn, and there she stays till night, and
hen if yon will leave open your hem
house door she will find her way thither,
Is meek and innocent-looking as You
"chickens and curses come
nome to roost. "-Kdte Thorn, tn N. y.