Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-09-23
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

NOrdenskjOld prOnounces his name,
and are not anxious to find out. A
look at it once in while answers all
practical purposes.
; There are said to be more editors In
than out of prison in Russia. But all
, things have their compensations. Even
the spring poet has no terrors for these
penned-up pen-drivers.
Davis got five years in prison for
having two wives. Cannon of Utah.
, who has four, got two years in con-
gress. After all, perhaps Davis is the
happier man of the two.
"Am not little pale2" inquired a
lady who was rather short and corpu-
lent, of n crusty old bachelor. "You
look more like big tub" was the
blunt and impolite rejoinder.
Somebody thinks that if nature had
designed a man to be a drunkard, she
would have constructed him like a
churn, so that the more he drank the
more firmly he would stand.
The gentle answer-"Have you got
the rent ready at last?' "No, sir:
mothers gone out washing, and forgot
ten to put it out for you" "Did she
tell you she had forgOtten?" "Yes sir"
No two minds are alike; and the one
which reveals with the strictest truth
those impressions which it receives
from the worlds of heaven and earth.
must ever be considered as the most
original.
Mr.. James b. Colgate, of New York.
has given $4,000 to the Madison uni
versity at Hamilton, New York, and
like amount to the Colgate academy.
This makes 100000 he has given the
university, and he increases the endow-
ment of theinstitution to S509,OOO.
A downtown man went fishing the
other day, and returned with three
small trout. He carried them through
the street boldly, and when asked if
those were all he caught frankly admit
ted they were. The neighbors gave
him surprise party last night and pre-
sented him with the beautifully carved
motto. "An honest fisherman is tia
nOblest work of God
The gentleman who has been off for
a fishing excursion, and sent para
graph to the local paper saying that
"Mr Jones had sent home a fine mess
of 'speckled Beauties couldnot account
for the warm reception from his wife,
until he read that "Mr. Jones had been
G,,n nd hpn,n n with
some freckled beauties and then he
went for the newspaper man with a
rod.
Clinical professor surrounded by
medical students at the bedside Of
patient )-"What is your professionp"
Patient-"A musician, sir" Profes-
sor turning to his pupils)-"As you
see, gentlemen, this poor man has m
cffection of the lungs. Here is an op-
pOrtmity of proving TO you the truth
Of all that | have told you so frequent
ly in the lecture-rOOms, viz; that the
fatigue and the effort of the respiratory
organs in blowinga musical instrument
are frequently the cause Of the illness
from which this man is suffering"
again addressing the sick person.
"What instrument do you playr" "Ths
cymbal and the big drum sir" Tab
leau)
A well-dressed negro applied TO the
Judge of probate of Mobile for a mar
riage license. lie was asked how old
his intended was, and answered, with
great animation: "Just 16, Judge
sweet Ii, and the handsomest girl in
town" The judge said he could not
do it, as the law forbade him TO issue
license TO anyone under Is. "Well.
hold on, Judge, exclaimed the man. 81
know dat dem gals am deceitful about
deir age She is 10 if day." "Will
YOU sware to it," asked the Judge.
"Yes, sah," he replied, and did. "And
how old are yOu?" said the judge. The
chap, looking suspicious, replied eau
tiously, "Thirty-hve," and added, "If
lat won't do, Judge, I've got more
back"
Jay Gould began life poor. He was
l school teacher, and at an early uge
married a lady reputed to be worth
II ,DUO,NbU III luDlltN. IllN NlOuDlVo
demoralized him, and he said
o friend on leaving that road: 81 will
,ome back on the men who have en-
leavored to ruin me. Remember every
log has his day" And he has come
,ack on them. BY his stock specula-
ions within the past three years he
las made oversize 100000, and controls
he leading railroads of America to-day.
lie is classic scholar, and devotes his
'venings to educating his sons in the
latin and Greek languages. His busi-
less as iinancier is too well known
or doubt, and in all probability he Is
he greatest railroad manager in the
world to-day.
The late Empress Marie, of Russia
vas "a woman of great culture, and is
aid to have disliked the shallowness
md frivolity of the grumbling boyards.
She admitted few of them to her init
macy, but Germanized her court more
md more, and gave considerable offence
~ constantly speaking her native
ongue instead of French. BY and by,
when she got to know the cars sub
ects little better, she was more care
ul to humor their preiudices; but her
to things French never relent-
d at any time, and one of her frequent
postrophes to courtiers who had been
raveling was-"Talk to me of anything
xcept Paris" She was the best Of
Mothers, and caused her sons to be edu-
ated In all the accomplishments Of gen.
lemen, instead of letting them be
rilled into mere soldiers, as had been
he fashion under Nicholas reign. To
Il of them she impaired her own taste
or music and reading.
Some of the German and Russian
all mills employ. it is stated, an ingen.
,us method of overcoming the difficult
= of cutting red or nearly white-hot
ails so that they may be all Of the
anne length when cold. Accord
lg to this plan, the rails are looked at
through dark glass; when they have
ooled to certain temperature, they
annot be perceived; and if, therefore,