Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-11-03
FuNNYGRAPHS.

COPPER-ToED-Indian babies.
SHEER cruelty-Clpping sheep.
SONG of the mouse: "Hear me gnaw.
ma"
FAST FRIENDS S. and ST. Ju-
lien.
A Two-FooT rule-Making 'srights -
and "lefts. "
EGG HARBoR must be the place where
vessels lay to.
WINTER is the sleep of the year, and
also it's shower.
To get along well-dig it deep.-Ph5L-
0delp1,i0 Record.
A GROWING ndustry-farming .-Phit-
0dell1hi0 Record.
WHAT do g eating apples % eat and how
do they do it ?-BostOn Herald.
The BARRIERS apprentice is usually a
strapping fellow Boston transcript.
THOUGHT at church fair: Faint
pocket book never captivated fair lady
Yomkers Statesman.
A MAN is perfect brick when he shows
himself all the better for being hard
pressed.-BOstOn Transcript.
AS street car conductor took rural
passengers money the other day, he
called it an agricultural fair.-Agents'
Herald.
MARK where he stands "-as a shoe
maker said to his assistant, while taking
the measurement of customers foot =
Journal of Commerce.
EVERY printer is a galley slave
ionkers Gazette. Yes, and his wife is
ra1 hac 60 NJ
Ieti2a
"Do we eat too much" asked the De-
troit Free Press, and out Of five dozen
clearinghouse keepers sixty answered
In the affirmative. Nation.
The body of an unknown man was
found recently below Niagara Falls. The
cheerful news that deceased was a hack
man has since been dispelled by all Off
cial count.
''NEvER borrow trouble said nus
band to his wife. sob, let her borrow
it If she can, exclaimed the next door
neighbor; "she never returns anything.
you know. '-BostOn Transcript.
WHEN the baby Princess of Spain
grows up and finds how mad everybody
was about it, she won't feel fattered.
The nearest she can come to it is to wear
a Derby hat and bang her hair.
WHY are the shears of the editor of
the New York World like two old scan
dial mongers! Answer-Becarlse when
they meet somebody's credit is gone
G0trestO7a NeaUs.
The man who eats plenty of apples
need have no fear of ciderophobia Y.
Com. ode. Should the man who deals
in hides have any fear of hydrophobia?
Boston Com. Bulletin.
THE editor was mad enough to kill
somebody when he found that by a singu-
lar mistake his foreman had put the
heading "What we Eat !" over an edi-
torial telling how to feed hogs incip-
natl SATURDAY Night.
JONES, who has been fitting about all
the season, doing the fashionable resorts,
has returned and taken his usual board
ing-house attic in the city. His move
ments can always be calculated; they are
autumn-attic.
CIVIL you love me when [ mould ?''
said the youthful modeller to his sweet
heart. She cast her eyes down and an
swered in the affirmative, aud he was so
elated that upon leaving her presence
he started off Immediately on bust.
ScHooLM1sTREss- What was the fate
of Abel?" Boy Killed by Cain in a
club Schoolmistress-'' No, with a
club. Do you know what club is?'
Boy Yes, mum; sorter 8 free an easy,
like father goes to O nights. Fun.
He handed her the plate SO that she
had to take the hot end, and thought it a
good joke, laughed until his sides shook.
She laughed, too, and then broke the
plate over his head! Moral-Practical
jokes are always funny, until the perpe-
TRAITOR suffers. philadelphia Item.
WHEN the sheriff arrested the girl he
had to halter. Whoa Wheeling San
dag Leader. No doubt she would have
Item. Doubted When the sheriff
piled: "No, surcingle."
"WHAr is the use," asks the San
Francisco Post, s' of talking about art
culture in San Francisco, when it is an
open secret that a certain rich mining
man recently sent to Florence for a copy
of the Venus of Milo, and when the stat
lie was delivered, actually sued the Cen
trail Pacific Railroad company for mutt
lat1ng work OF art, ana, what Is
more, recovered damages?
A FUNNY man says the following is the
method of catching tigers in India: A
man carries board on which a human
figure is painted; as soon as he arrives at
the den he knocks behind the board with
hammer; the noise arouses the tiger
which flies in direct line for the board
while the man behind clinches his claws
in the wood and secures him.
INro one OF our largest dry goods
stores entered gentleman the other
day, and with the air of one who had
been used to this sort of thing all his
life, you know, he said to the astonished
saleswoman: s. Give mea yard OF ma
room colored flannel to match baby,
please. Correcting himself, he began
again: 6 beg pardon; mean yard