The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1880-05-07
HERE AND THERE.

ment 10 many respectable colored men,
.He got himself disliked,' is the way
an Indiana paper speaks of chap who
had shot two men and burned several
haystacks.
A Baltimore man was severely bitten
by mule the other day, which is a
sure sign that thu mule had rheumatism
in his hind legs.
They have discovered the skeleton of.
man in hollow tree in Indiana, and
over forty women claim it as the relic of
n long lost husband.
The trouble with California seems to
be that too many missionaries have pass
ed beyond it to wrestle with people who
are orderly and well behaved.
The reckless cyclone which rashly
ventured to carom upon rancho of Tex
as mules. has been advertised by Prof
Tice as s;rayed, lost or stolen.
The papers who are bowling for the
abolition Of West Point have probably
not considered its great advantages as
place from which TO start negro exc
1dus.
4 Michigan widow who jumped down
off load of hay and knocked down
tramp who made fun of her sun-bonnct
had three offers of marriage within II
week.
The brigands of Greece have incrcas-
ed in number so fast during the last year
that serious fears are entertained that no
one will be left To run the government
by fall.
a new York man has invented paste
board window blinds which make cow
shed look like an Italian villa Wen
take some if we can pay for it in Rdver-
Using.
The courage of the traditional lad
who whistled as he passed through the
graveyard. has been discounted by the
Lyon county Democrats, who have is
sued a call for 4 county convention.
The sympathizers with young Kalioch
should bear in mind the certainty of his
entering the lecture field in case of his
acquittal, before they proceed too far in
the manufacture OF public sentiment in
his favor.
The Chinese used to bang dynamite
and nitro-glycerine around the same as
they did their old fire-crackers, but after
several new graveyards had been started
and populated, they let up on the bang
and went slow.
The recent destruction, by cyclone,
of Il couple Of gin mills in Texas, has
suggested the propriety of endeavoring
to compass n cessation of Ineteorologi-
cal hOstilities, by means of prayer, in
the Lone Star state.
1t now appears that the belligerent in
dividual who struck William Paterson,
the mysterious party who slit the ears of
cadet Whitaker, and the author of that
anonymous letter to Springer, are all one
and the same person.
1t is said that women live on love.
Small salaried young men will be inter-
ested to learn that the love referred to
is for baked beans, beef soup, onions,
and new spring hats. We Think we
know what were talking about.
The eye is as index to the soul. When
man asks you TO get off the ruins OF
his new plug hat, you can tell by look.
ing in his eye whether lie wants cash
down for the damages or will take an in
! dorsed note running six months.
If some enterprising Snowman can
manage to capture the dark horse of the
Chicago convention, and reinforce his
unparalleled aggregation" with this
dusily attraction, we'll guarantee him Il
perennial bonanza between now and the
2d day of June, 1880
An Indiana girl sat waiting at the win
! dow 10 e" with her lover tn an ice cream
/ parlor, when bolt of lightning killed
| her in IAN instant. We do not hold this
up as warning because the young man
had made up his mind to tell her that
ice cream was unhealthy.
\ very sensible decrease IN the volume
of the Amazon river, which is source
of grave apprehension TO the natives re
siding on its banks, has induced the be
lief that the Holly system of water
works is prevalent in South America
and that the plan of resorting directly
to the river has supplanted the method
Of digging supply wells.
Sara Bcrnhardt, the celebrated French
actress whose histrionic talents are large
ly in excess of her morality, has cUnclud
ed to defer her visit to America till 1881
though she has been frequently impor
| tuned To- come earlier As she is said Il
entertain Interior designs upon Mr.. Til
den, she has given evidence of her wis
dom in postponing her amorous on
slaught until the cessation of politica
hostilitics will permit the venerable LO
thario of Gramercy Park to yield him
self entirely to pursuits of a tender ma
ture.
Sam Wood, the executor of the de
fuuct National Era, has made complies
surrender of his interchangeable jaw ant
peerless wind To the spoOk interests o
hdilSdS, anu HAS CohScCIdtcu All HIS Dfil
liant powers TO the promotion of In,
cause of spiritualism in this state. w
have always observed that when "A MAJ
contracts Il very malignant form Of Lock
erman's disease, his primary and irresti
BILE impulse is to edit greenbaek paper
and in default Of success in this legIti
mate field of labor, the natural alterna
tive IS, of course, to permit his hair L
grow long and go into the ghost busi
ness.