The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1880-12-01
LITTLE CLASSICS.

LITTLE CLASSICS.
One of our numerous Oyoung lady friends
has asked us TO get up something 'real nice"
10 honor OF recent and coming social events.
Of course We will, dear. We would do it to
please you, if for no other reason, but aside
from that we would not let slip such an OPP
%portunity, nor could we if we would. If
there is anything which inspires ones soul
and fills it with poetic fire and a vague,u I'M
satisfied longing for something to which he
cannot give q name, but which will not
down and forces him to give it voice, it is an
occasion like this. And what q beautiful
subject it is: visions of orange blossoms.
bridal wells, lovely brides maids, and future
possibilities, float in q confused, kaleidos-
copic form through our brain, and the man
who couldn't turn out poetry under such cir
cumstances must needs lack even a spark of
the divine flame in his soul. Nc, start up
the mill.
Up from the Coal Banks, at break of day
HOLD on! Stop her! For the love of
Moses, McElhinny, what are you doing?
That is ''Senieur's Ride" Have you left
that election cylinder in there all this time?
What direful scheme have you on foot now?
Can't you let by-gones be by cones, and for
get your revenge. What if you were defeat
ed? You know that if you had been Luken'
after your own interests instead of Others it
would not have happened. Forgive your
enemies and start her again.
Sir Blinky came down like a wolf on the fold,
And his charges were written with assurance bold.
In The name of all that's good, what die
you let that out for? Don't you know the
investigating committee reported last night,
and that thing is dead now. Take that out,
and begiu over.
One little Indian. stealing on the prairie:
Joe Cobell captured him-and then there was mary
There, there, Nc. What a stupid you are.
We never intended that thing to see the light.
1t is well We never leave you alone with this
machine, for if we did you would have the
whole town about our ears. Now, see if you
can't get it right this time. If we only had
some one to feed the sheets in straight, we
would turn that crank ourselves.
Fair Helen, at the siege Of Troy
Oh, if you amt enough to Hector a man to
death! You are a veritable printers ''devil,''
and always Priamed for mischief. Helen!
Helen, indeed! Helen Blazes! what do
you know about the siege Of Troy? You
may know something about Troy, N. Y, but
this Troy was demolished long before you
Joined the army. Besides, there isn't q Helen
among them. Its a pity you can't tell one
cylinder from another. Put in the matri-
monial cylinder; the n marked two fats
You'll find it over there under the bed of the
press, near the form trough. Now oil it up
and try her again.
Put away the half-worn Faber.
Let the Cesar, Horace, go;
They've no further Use for classics
They have been discharged also.
O.! Lord! That's the obituary we had
written for the short horn editors, and it isn't
time for that yet. However, you GENE pref
ty close to it. You only made q mistake and
got .sthree flats instead Of two. You had
better put that away where it will be handy,
however, for we are liable to want it in a
week or two now. There, you have got the
right one, at last.
SWeetly the JOY bells ring out on the evening,
Gsandly, triumphant, the great organ sWells;
That's it. Go slow now, Nc. You know
that Thanksgiving business last week was a
great strain on her, and she won stand much
without being fixed. Go ahead, but be care
full.
Up the broad aisle the
Smash! Jam! Bang! Something busted.
Well, it's too bad. We had reckoned upon
achieving Immortality through this piece, ard
now all our hopes are blasted, blast it! But
perhaps she amt completely ruined. Let's
try it once more.
y x : &
Holy Moses! Now We haze done it. vii
liams wouldn't have had that get out for any
thing. It's no use of our trying to do airy
more with that machine, so, McElhinny, you
had better take it over to the blacksmith
ahOD and get i. mended, while / go back to