The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1880-05-06
The Ideal Home.

normal human being desire Tor that
kind of cOmpanionship which belongs ex-
clusively TO the institution called Home.
Glare has prettily said that &" to Adam
Paradise was home; to the good among
| his descendants home is a Paradise" L
have never been very clear in my notion
as to what kind of home Adam found
in Paradise, but | have some grateful
recollectiOns of many homes which 1
! should hesitate to exchange on even terms
/ for any ideal Paradise from Adams day
to mine. That distinguished person did
not seem to have had very lively APP
probation of his home blessings, and [
have always regarded his rebellion as
weaker and more senseless than any mis-
take that his descendants can be charged
withal. But inasmuch as it is through
him we are denied that particular Para
disc in which he and Eve set up their
primitive housekeeping, we ought to do
| the next best thing-make home para
/ disc.
! The perfect home is possible in Just so
| far as those who compose it are olsen
thralled of human imperfectiOns. We
cannot 90 beyond ourselves, but we can
! grow in those graces which make life
| beautiful, and perfume home with the
breath of prayer to benignant household
gods In respect to home, do not think
|, the ideal is necessarily the unattainable.
| 1t is q reasonable postulate that man is
! incapable of an impossible ideal. Then
if he set up his own ideal of home as a
| standard-being equal to himself in his
best estate-I shall assume that it is pos
/ sible for him to realize the highest point
of his ideal. 1t is more than likely that
what have chosen as the kind of home
most to be desired would be in some es-
sentials dstasteful to the man next door;
but on many fundamental points | am
very certain we should find ourselves in
| harmony.
can set down in plain phrase my own
views of what home ought to be, and if
any disagree with me beg them to re-
member that on this theme L do not pre-
sumo to speak absolutely. except as to
myself alone. If you like anyway come
and walk with me. If i chance to fancy
a garden of daffodils and YOU think life
not worth the living unadorned by fuch-
sias, all right. There is the point at
which our ways diverge, and so far as L
am concerned you shall have all the fuch-
sias you want-in your own garden. We
are agreed as to the desirability of having
the gardens to do with how we will. L
ought to say, perhaps, that am looking
at this subject with man s. not wOman's
eyes, though | hope that many men and
many women will find mine largely COM
mOngrOund.
When a young man and q young wOm-
an learn that they are necessary to each
Others happiness (and here assume that
they have not permitted a mere epheme-
raj fancy to lead them into that fatal and
most terrible of all errors, an ill-assorted
union) they should marry. Their next
step should be to establish themselves in
an independent home-a place sacred
from meddling intrtIsion-over which
they shall be joint and absolute rulers,
Jealous of each others rights as against
all persons under heaven. Their king
dom once established on that tenure
| long step has been taken in advancing the
plan of an ideal home. 1t is really of
very little moment whether the house in
which they live be cottage or mansion,
but am inclined to the opinion that the
cottage holds the balance OF happiness.
| Then there should be an earnest self
examination in which both strive in all
sincerity and without reservation to cor
rectly and exactly measure themselves
in order that they may at the outset learn
that most useful human lesson. self-cOn-
troll. Neither men nor women are angels,
and the young couple must be prepared
to see many unpleasant combinations of
this very earthly truth. But they are so
cOntrived that what is good in each may
by process as beautiful as it is mystic
rious be interchanged and assimmilated.
1t is mainly important they beware Of
the temptation to assimilate the dross
and not the gold of their natures, for the
one is as easily assimilated as the other.
The time must inevitably come when the
husband shall be a grievous trial to the
wife and she to him. Both have foibles,
the only cOrrectives of which are for
bearance, gentleness and good nature.
These are merely attributes of that
grander and loftier quality, self-control,
to which they must nail their flag, and
there let it tiaunt eternal defiance to
every enemy. domestic and invasive. A
certain devoted and amiable artillery
man, when speaking of his wife to their
common friend Ca stalwart and no less
amiable trooper, but a bachelOr,) was
wont to say that discipline must be main
tanned. l agree with him, but I think
the best results are those which come
from discipline of ones self. The hus-
band who tries to establish a despotic
command over his wife makes miser-
able failure of it in real life. There are
no Mrs. Quilps except in books. Domes-
tiC deSpOtisrn breeds deception the final
outcome of which is that CHASTITY satire
of the divorce courts, incompatibility.
An unlettered old lady of my acquaint-
ance once called it contemplating.
1t is of tremendous importance that the
occupants of an Ideal home cultivate an
unreserved confidence in each other
The expression of this must. in the nature
of the case, be very different in them.
The wife being but in a slight degree
part of the big world that lies beyond the
horizon of her home, is prone to magnify
trivial things. They are, nevertheless,
important to her, and her husband cannot
do her daintier honor than to give an in
terested ear to her relation Of them. The
beautiful temple of confidence is built of
such materials. On the other hand. be-
lieve the wife should interest herself in
her husbands affairs, and that he should
give her every opportunity for counsel or
sympathy, perhaps bOth-for there are
few breadwinners to whom genuine wife
w sympathy and wOmanly counsel are
not invaluable. The wife who has mas
tered the details of her husband 5 worldly
concerns sufficiently to feel an interestin
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