Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-01-02
F. U n

F. u n
THEY CARRIED IT Too FAR.-Mr.
Butterwick called in to see me the other
day, and in the course of the converse
ton, he said:
Sim going to move. I can't stand
those Johnsons next door to me any long
er. They're the awfulest people to borrow
things you ever saw. Coffee and butter
and sugar and flour, Idon It mind SO much,
although when a woman borrows high
priced sugar and Java coffee, and sends
back sand and chickory, a man naturally
feels mad. But they've. borrowed pretty
near everything in the house. First it is
one thing and then another, from morning
till night, right straight along.
''Now, there's the poker. A poker is a
piece of machinery that you'd think any
body would 60 around and buy, or if they
couldn't afford it. they might use fence
paling to shake up the fire. But Mrs.
johnson seems to banker after our poker.
She borrows it fifteen or twenty times q
day, and last Saturday she sent for it
thirty-four times. She pays a hoy two
dollars week to run oyer and borrow that
poker. and she used it so much that it's
bent like a corkscrew. .-.,..
SHOW, take chairs for instance. She
asks us to lend her our chairs, three times
a day-at every meal and she borrows the
rocking chair every time she wants to
put the baby to sleep. 81 III Ia
ga couple of times she sent over for a
sofa, and when the boy came back with it,
he said Mrs. johnson was mad as thun-
der, and kept growing around the house
all day because there are no castOrs on it.
Last Monday she borrowed our wash boiler
and we had to put off our washing till
, Tuesday. She did her preserving in It,
and the consequence was our clothes were
full of preserved peaches. I have got on
an undershirt now that Pm mighty doubt
full if LII ever get it off; it's stuck so
tight.
''Every now and then she has company
and then she borrows our hired girl and
all the parlor furniture. Once, because I
wouldn't carry the piano over for her and
take down the chandelier, she told our
girl that there were rumors about town
that had turned pirate.
Perfectly scandalous! They think no.
thing of sending over for a couple Of bed
steads or the entry carpet, and the other
day johnson says to me: q OTIS 'e
"Butterwick, does your pump log pull
up easy2" s fd,ak az 4
.'sAnd when I said / thought maybe it
did, he said: ess s & = -'.
"Well, I would like to borrow it for q
few days till I can get one, for mines all
rotted away"
1.-The only wonder to me is that he did
not try to borrow the well along with it.
"And then on Thursday Mrs. johnson
sent the boy over to know if Mrs. Buttel-
wick would lend her our front door. She
said that theirs was away being painted,
and she was afraid the baby would take
cold. When asked him what he supposed
we were going to do to keep comfortable
without any front door, he said Mrs. John
son said she reckoned we might tack up a
bed quilt or something. And when re-
fused. the boy said Mrs. johnson told him
if wouldn't send over the front door, to
ask Mrs. Butterwick to lend her pair of
striped stockings and horse hair hustle.
and to borrow the coalscuttle till Monday.
What in the name of Moses she is going
to do with hustle, and a coal scuttle l
can't conceive. ss@
s'But they're extraordinal people. Last
Fourth of July, was it?D Yes; last Fourth
of July tho boy came over and told Mrs.
Butterwick that Mrs. johnson would be
much obliged ifsne'd lend her the twins for
q few minutes. Said Mrs. johnson wanted
sem to suck off new bottle top, because
It made her baby sick to taste fresh India
rubber. Cheeky, wasn't it? But this is
her way. She don't mind it any more.
"Why I've known her to take off our
.Johnny's pants when he's been playing
over there with the children, and send him
home bare legged to tell his mother that
she borrowed them for pattern. And on
Johnson's birth day she said her house was
80 small for party that if we'd lend her
ours we might come over in the evening
ard dance with the company, if we
wouldn't let on that she Gidn't live there.
''Yes, sir; I'm going to move. 'drath-
er live next door to lunatic Asylum and
have the maniacs pouring red hot shot
over the fence every hour IN the day. In
deed would" r9
One day Billy and sammy were playing
ing by mud-hole and Billy said: Nov,
Sammy, les play we's barnyard; you be
the pig, and lay down and woller, and I'll
be bull and heller like everything" So
they got down on their hands and knees,
and Sammy went INTO the dirt and wallow-
ed. while Billy beloved like distant thun-
der. Bimeby Sammy came up muddy
sou never saw such a muddy little fellow
and said: SHOW, you'll be the pig. and
let me beller.'' But Billy said: 81 amt
gerry good pig except for dinner, and it'll
be time huff for you to beller when yer
mother sees yer close"
No man thoroughly understands the
solemn grandeur of a floor crack until he
tries to pick pin out Of it with his fin
gers. 4atf ~
Men and women are something alike