The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1880-02-28

letter, first translated and given to th
public from an old manuscript in til
L. archives of San Augustine
CARLOS JOSE'S LETTER,
"OFF COAST OF New SPAIN, !
February II, 1902.
MY Dear Sanc0- You remembe
~ the interview we had together in tn,
~ ~ Queens Green Room, at Madrid, thu
- night before the morning the De Sott
y expedition started out in search of the
- Fountain of Perpetual Youth, upon
. the recently discovered American con.
tinent. Although this memorable
u conversation occurred twelve calendar
VI months since the date of this letter.
= yet it seems but yesterday to me.
There were present at that consulta-
ton yourself, Lt.-Gen. +Hernando De
Soto, Professor Cervantes, Sir Knight
Don Kehotah and Esquire Panzer
You, Sanco Marengo, undertook to
dissuade our chief from his great en-
terprise, and contended that Foun-
tain of Perpetual Youth was not really
desirable discovery to make. AndI
remember distinctly that you assigned
these potent reasons for your position:
l. Perpetual Youth was antagonistic
to Providence. 2. Life, in order to be
understood and appreciated, must go
through the seven stages inaugurated
by Shakespeare. 3. If we succeeded in
finding the Fountain of Perpetual
Youth we would be sure to drink of it,
prolong our youthful existence indie
finitely, and thus harrass the rising
generation with our old fogyism, and
deprive ourselves of the knowledge
and feiicities of the life hereafter, of
which much has been related and
which is of considerable consequence
to us.
"Your reasoning, my dear Sanco,
though very wise and cogent, failed
to convince any of us, and we set our
fleet to sail the next morningEwith
bouyant hopes,-and here we are.
Three weeks since we debarked at
cluster of islands, near what seemed
to be a promontory to a somewhat
extensive tract of land, called Florida
Keys. Here we met among swarm i,
of unclad red MEN, person clothed in q,
confederate uniform, of Anglo Saxon
blood, with complexion fairer even :;
than that of the damsel of CASTLE,
who seemed to be sort of priest, or
bead man, or chief, or boss, or joss
among the population. His name, it
is Col. Horn, and he is the Editor of
the Pioneer FXoduster, local journal, :
with a patent outside, printed in the
Choctaw language. 1t was determined y
by the leaders of our expedition that =,
this parsonage should be conciliated "
and the influence of his journal OBJ :, =,
tanned in order to make the success :,
of our great movement upon the Foun- "
tain of Youth doubly sure. Accord !"
ingly was commissioned by De Soto
to interview Col. Horn and learn the IL
;erms upon which the support of the a.
EXoduster could be obtained. With ~
this view 1 repaired at once to the ~
Sanctum Sanctorum of the Exodus a.
ter, and when knocked at the door u
my ears were greeted with a CHEEKY ~
come IMP
""This is Col. Horn, presume, the to
famous editor of the great and con- 10
scientious EXOduster,' [ remarked in
Dlandly by way of introduction. sic
."The very same" said he with a hi
genial and gratified smile. tr,
"'Well. Col. HOrnOracal,' 1 con- th
inued, Il have come to see you on err
business. Business is biz, as we Span III
ards say. And now, without vast as
ng your valuable time, will come Ca
lirectly to the point You under sp
tond that General De Soto is on the his
utloOk for the Fountain of Perpetual pn
Youth. He has not been able to find wi
t in this land of flowers, and therefore wa
Onsiders that it lies concealed further IN
n the interior. He is about to renew ag
lis march and his search for this an
Fountain, but before he starts he ebI
ommands me to request of you that
ou namo a sum which will justify thl
ou in using the columns of the EX- ma
duster to further the objects of the hu
xpedition.'
"Now what sort of reply do you o"'
mink the editorial idiot made to this re'
nipple proposition. @ le''
'Um-up-umph = growled he, and A.,
zen working himself into towering -,
nd savage rage, he turned toward me I M
ith clenched fists and glaring eyes as
,ir! said he, DO you take me for g.,
lember of Congress! Dare you insult q
n odtor by offering to bribe him? Va,
ball prostitute my religious jour- me
al and my talents to heterodoxy-
a base attempt to revOlutionize ma
ire. Sir! you shall smell the patch
q for this! All the gold of Spain -
'uld not purchase the support of the and y
xoduster for the iniquitOus Perpetual ciyi
Ountain scheme of De Soto. Sir! you ace,
e a heathen-an unprincipled car loat
.t-bagger, and your words are burn c;ro %u,
g insults. Git out of this Office the
ont stand on the order of Citing in
1t giG or this good right boot, by sun
unds, will expedite your exitn et inst
i'As 1 did not have my new Smith
Wesson pistol in my hippocket 1 Ii
allied myself of his suggestion to bur-
temporarily, and accordingly got, the
It determined on the spot to report Ind
m as a dangerous disorganizer and a ju
we him arrested and punished. amc
''when presented the facts to De s,,'s Ine
to and the staff it was their unani- the
7 IL