Daily Republican., 1880-03-11

A MINISTER RoUsHLY HANDLED.-A
local preacher had been preaching in
the afternoon in a village not far from
Newcastle, England, and having accom-
panied one Of the chapel members to
his house. was Of course introduced to
his wife, who appeared very glad to see
him, and warmly pressed him, for a
full quarter Of an hour to stay for tea.
He at last consented. While all this
pressing was going on, the husband
was quietly standing by, preparing to
wash his hands and face. The good
lady then went to get the tea ready, and
1t was not long before both the tea and
her temper were brewing for, hearing,
as she thought, her dearly beloved
washing, she made for the little win
dow which communicated between the
kitchen and the pantry where she was,
and taking advantage Of his position,
more quickly than one could say slack
Robinson" she administered two or
three hard raps on his bald pate, &C
oompanied with the exclamation, "I'H
learn ye to bring them hungry preach
ers here to tea every time they come to
preach |"
As soon as the unfortunate individu.
al could get the soap-suds out of his
eyes he began to think what 1t all
meant but could come to no other con.
clusion than that the old lady had
made a sad mistake, which she also
found out, for upon returning to the
parlor, there she saw her husband pa
tiently waiting his turn to wash.
A man living in indianapolis, Ind,
who has been 80 unfortunate as to lose
five excellent wives, desired to erect a
headstone for each commemcrating her
virtues, but has been deferred by the
expense. The other day happy thought
struck him. The five wives were buried |
side by side in the same graveyard. He
accordingly had the Christian name of
each engraved on small stoneA "Em-
ma, Jane, -" Mary" Margaret"
"Elizabeth'-a hand cut on each stone
pointing to large stone in the centre
OF the lot, and under each hand placed
the words, "For epitaph see large
stone."
A Zulu youth cannot marry a girl
until he has whipped all her brothers
and given her father fall, if demand
ed, in addition. This makes court
ship more exciting than chocolate caro-
mels, and gum drops; but the Zulu
maiden who has four brothers wighing
one hundred and eighty pounds each,
and measures fifty indAes around the
waist, generally dies an old maid, while
the girl whose brothers are weak and
bickly and whose father is sleeping be-
meath the daisies is overrun with pro.
p"sals. 1t ia a queer custom, and II it
was in vogue in this country girl who
is an only child and half orphan on
her father's side would be at q premi-
um.
An elderly darksy was inquiring Of
a policeman If he knew anything of his
son Pete. The policeman replied that
there was young darkey in the lock-
up for breaking up prayer meeting
with an axle handle. " OATS himl"
the overjoyed parent, told
me- he was gwine to muse himself"
The New York Sun has this heading
TO one of It's columns: Circulation Of
the sun." Proctor would say that this
is an astronomical error. The Sun
doesn't circulate-its the World"
Whoever it was that attempted to
blow up the Gear 1t Is evident that 1t
wasn't his mother-in-law. When q fell
lows mother-in-law sets ont to blew
him up she always makes success OIL
Il. /