The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1880-07-08
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
After woman has passed ninety
she is proud of her age, says the De-
troit Free Press.
The good man says: "All things
are for the BEST" and mentally adds,
: L am the best. ."-NeW Orleans Picay-
u,ae.
"A Meridian man has Bible 142
years old. Strange how long a Bible
may be made to last by temperate
usage.-Boston Transcript.
THE evil that men do lives after
them. Cows likewise do not give oleo-
margarine until they, are dead.-Paila-
delphia Chronicle Herald. a1F.is IS n
There is said to be no foundation
for the report that Mr.. Sankey's new
hymn, "Is your lamp still burning,
brotherP'' is to be dedicated to Mr..
Edison. EgfS5
You can't make a horse drink.
This shows how inferior is the horse to
man. You can make a man drink. but
can't always make him pay. -Hawk-
Eye.
As the time for truly agricultural
falrs draws near, the committees are
hunting around for lawyers and clergy-
men to address the farmers upon agri-
cultural topics. s.-Boston Post.
- Il smell sssufinss ,burnin' y re-
marked an aged negro who sat at a
camp fire toasting his extremities.
: Gosh y he added in a moment, with
. wild yell, ''it's de niggah's own foot" !"
A Georgia paper tells of man who
went all the way from Cassville to At
ianta. On his return he looked solemn
with the weight of garnered wisdom
and said: :. If the world is big t'other
way as it is that, it's whopper."
! "A Lady tells, something which ought
TO have remained a secret with her sex.
1t is that woman. in choosing lover,
considers a good deal more how the
man will be regarded by other women
than whether she loves him herself. =
The undertakers of this State are
going to have convention at Utica.
Those who suppose this will be funeral
gathering are mistaken. There are no
jollier people than undertakers
off duty. y.--Bufalo Express. Thew are a
grave people but not morose, and out of
business hours they usually spell bier
with two e's.-SyrGcuse Herald.
-" Well, I'm glad my house clean
ing Is over, y said Mrs. Brown, Hwithaa a
sigh of thankfulness. at must be a
relief" observed Mrs. Smith, who was
calling. Z. But then, how soon .WiH You.
need to 60 through it all again. If she
hadn't looked around in sort of criti-
cal manner all would shave been well.
That call will never be returned. s !
"A gentleman and his wife, with two
little girls, evidently twins and about
three years of age, are seated at one of
the tables in the dining room waiting
for their breakfast to be brought to
them. One Of the little girls who had
been intently observing what was pass
ing, suddenly turned to her sister and
said: g Why don't papa say draceP''
The reply was, q They amt dot any
bod in Rochester. Rochester Unsoss.
AT one. of Mrs. SIS dinner par
ties 'sweet girl graduate of one of
our high schools, daintily pecking at
the delicacies on her plate, overheard q
gentleman opposite mention the name
OF 8 DR.. Hervey." g 1 beg your pardon.
Mr.. B. said she sweetly. .sbut dn
you refer to the distinguished -pbilan--
thropist who invented the circumlocu-
ton of the bloodp' Mr.. r. at
tempted to say he did, but uttered a
mouthful of soup instead. San Fran,s
cisco Argo,s0wt. ssHs asis,s vi
"a
"A man was saving wood yesterday
afternoon in back yard. He severed
two sticks as thick as your wrist and
then went into the house. s.Marv. -
said he to his wife, .smy country needs
me; there's no use of talking; we've
just got to slaughter all these Iniuns:
no true patriot can be expected to hang
around wood-pile these days.
John said his wife. eff you fight
lnjuns as well as you saw wood and
support your family, it would take. one
and eighteen likeyou to cap
ture one squaw, and you'd have to
catch herswhen she had the aeue and
throw pepper in her eyes John went |
back to the wood pile. .-Sdh Lake Tssb-
,t7ae. ssss ~ eF s3 ssea8
The thrush in the thicket IL singing cx1I
The lark is abroad, on the lea,
And over the garden gate swinging
A maiden il waiting foreme.
She will wait TIL. she's weary, I'm thinking,
Though eager, am for the tryst;
She will wat TIL the bright stars are blinking,
And sigh for the kisses she miss'd.
For her father is watchful and wary,
A very ill-tempered old churl, "a
And I'm not the sort of canary 81 ta Ff
To be kicked for the love Of girl
The Same Old Game.