Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-03-18
ITEMS OF INTEREST.
Before the war. "-Courtship.

The road to matrlmony IS q bride path.
What hath ears but hears not? A crib
Of corn.
When soldier is ill he becomes six
shooter.
Parlor matches-Courting in the draw
ingroom.
Ought woman to kiss tobacco-chew-
err Yes, if she chews.
Receipt for making your own eye water
stick your finger in it.
To succeed a young man must work;
unless he succeeds to an estate.
A Utah wedding paragraph says "the
bride was logged out in white gauze.
The papers are denouncing the gem
puzzle as q fraud. We consider it "a square
game.
II we could see others as we sec our
selves there would be more good looking
people in the world.
There is no fish in the world that will
increase in weight like trout after it has
been pulled from the water.
There are two classes who do not bear
prosperity, one of them being those who
do not get a chance to bear 1t.
1t is said the Vassar college girl who
caught cold by drinking water from
damp tumbler is convalescent.
1t seems to be universal practice that
when Bridget comes in to sweep, the
whole family will get up and dust
It's curious he nihihsts havn't tried
kerosene lam on the czar or left an
empty shot.e n in his cupboard.
There are tote decorative corsets; but.
in the language of the Buffalo Courier,
who cares what S on the outside of a cor
set?
The decline of the drama is probably
owing to the fact shat the pubic never
sees but about one-tenth OF play; the
rest is bonnet.
Within the past eight years five hun
dred and ninety-Seven cOnvlcts have es-
capped from the Mississippi state prison.
"a man never loses by little polite
ness, as the soldier said when he bowed
his mead for the cannon. ball to pass over.
Apotheclry: "You want this prescrip-
ton filed, sir; understand" -" Patrick
"Divil bit al it, surr! It's the bottle |
wud have filed"
When Chief Jack brought in the three
prisoners to Los Pinos, the other day, Gen.
Adams looked out and exclaimed: ''Hi!
Lo! Jack and the game.
A Pittsburg man recently made two
unsuccessful attempts to hang himself.
rhe OIL City Derrick thinks that he must
at some time have been sheriff.
Patrick, having been told that DR.. Pc
ters had found an astero!d, remarked:
"Bedad, he may have his asteroid, but as
for meself prefer horse ter ride.
John A. Cuthbert, who is still practicing
law in Alabama at the age of 81 years,
WAS an officer in the war of 1912, and was
elected to congress from Georgia in 1919.
Contracts have been let for the iron
work of the Brooklyn elevated railroad,
and as the project is being rapidly pushed,
trains will most likely be running by
May lst.
A grindstone, weighing two and one
half tons and making two hundred reyo-
lutions per minute, burst last week at
Bridgeport Conn, seriously ipjurinP Pat
rick Corcoran.
A Nevada editor wrote OF dead ora
tor: death has turned off his gas IL
he had written it In sarcasm, he would
have put it: "The king of terrors has
stopped his windmill"
Kate Field proposes to organize CO.
operative millinery establishment in New
York with a capital OF $250,000. Ten Of
the forthcoming new spring bOnncts will
represent the entire capital.
The Mormons have no scruples over tell.
ing the truth about the dead. At artcent
funeral in Salt Lake, President Taylor re-
marked; "He died a drunkari-and he
will find a drunkard's grave. He has
gone to he'll, and there is where he deseiv'
ed to 90"
William q. Vanderbilt, G. X. Garrison,
VIM. Z. Dodge, James Talcott and others
have subscribed $50 toward fund OF
800, 900 for the purpose of founding
age and permanent institution for the
New York Christian Home for lntempe-
rate Men.
Could conjugal affection be more strictly
displayed than it is in the sulJolned?
And so, doctor, you think my wife will
get well?" 81 am sure of it, if you can
persuade her to take this dose" DOC
tor, take it she shall, if | have to break
every bone in her body"
The penitentary of Mississippi is at
Jackson, and the keepers have trained
bloodhounds with which to hunt escaped
prisoners Recently the hounds got after
the wrong person, and ran a hunter up
tree, where he remained for more than an
hour with the howllng dogs just COM
fortably out of reach.
A thief was complained of in New York,
and could only be identified by the slnRu-
r description of having red and black
hair. The police found rei-haired man
who had his hair dyed, but had lately
stopped the practice, and was letting the
red supplant the black, So they arrested
HIM, and he was the man.
An oak tree in graveyard at Carthage,
N. g., apparently died and remained
dead for several years, all the limbs and
twigs falling off. A man died and was
buried at the foot of the tree, after which
it came to life, fourished and is three feet
in diameter at the base, having as fine
limbs and boughs as one could wish to
see.
In the pastoral regions Of Texas one
thousand head of stock cattle, as usually
found on ranches, will double their num-
ber within three years. This allows for
losses of age, disease, and accident. The
net increase is at the rate of thirty three
and one-third per cent, per annum. This
accounts, in part, for the fortunes accumu-
lated in few years by cattle raisers.
Seme Of the cattle men are immensely
wealthy.
An unusually large kangaroo has just
been placed on exhibition at Central park,
New York. Within the last few days two
young elephants from India, and an
guiana from South America have been
added to the collection of animals. The
iguana is of the chameleon species, five
feet in length, and is the only specimen
in this country. 1t is of darkish-brown
color, which changes in the sunlight.
Bananas are its only food
The greatest number Of lletters ever re-
ceived in the New York postofiee in one
day came in on recent Sunday. This
was due to the arrival Of six overdue mail
steamers on that day. The distribution
clerks were kept busily employed from 8
o clock Sunday night until o'clock Mon.
day morning. The mail-carriers on their
Hrst delivery took out three hundred thou
sand letters, besides forty thousand circu.
lars, and two hundred bags OF newspa.