New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-11-17
WHOLE NUMBER 148
PITH AND POINT.

ALL youths are not fitted for college
education. 1t is not best to make one
story brain try to carry q three-story
education.-Whitehall Times.
MAN alone can whistle. Thank good
ness!-Boston Transcript. But he can
also whistle when not alone. Thank bad
ness!-PhiladelphiG Bulletin.
DONA ANA RAFAELs, q very rich Gu
ban lady, is at Saratoga, and she makes
all the men want to 60 to Cuba. Sew
eral are already bound to have Ana
Boston Post. ~.
THE ablest way in which to disguise
peach is to inclose it between two crusts
and try to call the combination "pie.'
1t spells the peach, and, as for the
crusts, the man who invented them
spoiled the -four when he did so.-New
Haven Register.
AN Oil City maiden, who had just re-
covered from a two-days' attack of
green-apple cramps, recited in public
the other night thattouching poem, $50
feel what have felt," with such en-
phasis that it brought tears to the eyes
OF the green-grocer.-Derrick.
II NOW have something for q rainy
day." said old Mr.. Snifkin the other
evening, as he entered the room and
greeted his family. "A windfall, q
windfall," screamed Mrs. Snifkin in an
ecstacy of mental paralysis. ''No, no."
he responded quietly, as he drew his
slippers from under the sofa, 'sit's an
umbrella. "-Andreaos' Bazaar.
ONCE in while a poet rises to the
supreme height of his vocation and
strikes q genuine chord. Hear this
one:
think the song that's sweetest
Is the one that's never sung.
Oh, that this couplet could be wedg.
ed cross-ways in the throat of the
amateur individual who imagines his
voice is-is-anything but what it is
Ne10 Haven Register.
GIRLS who have become slaves to the
demon Of ice-cream should read care
fully this little gem by one of our most
| noted poets, and reflect on the fate that
awaits them. Two kinds of ice-cream
are evidently what allied her:
All pale and wan my little love
Doth in her chamber lie,
While Night looks coldly from above
With weird, Cyclopean eye"
Chicago Tribune.
'Is your programme full, Miss Beetle
crusherp'' asked a young man of a
Western damsel who had struggled out
of the refreshment room with disap-
pointment in her eye and an "order of
dancing in her hand. programme
TULIP" said the daughter of the Sitting
Sun. "Waal, guess not! haint had
nothing but piece of cake and an ice
cream, an they don't 90 far toward
filling my programme, can tell you.-
Boston Commercial.
Our Sarah Jane just dotes on botany.
How that girl does love to analyze, to
be sure! My! how she will tear the
posies to pieces! Meeting her, the other
day, with joyous light in her eye and
amess of flowers and leaves in her apron,
she told US she had been
analyzing-as though there .wero
any need of her telling that!
Why, that girls always Analysing! She
had been analysing, she said, very
fine specimen of the "symplocarpus, a
genus of the perennial, aquatic, acau-
iescent herbs, belonging to the order
Lamnace@. Its spadix," she remarked,
lis oval, covered with purple flowers"
Now, that sounded grand enough; but,
bless you, sir, if you'll believe it, tho
girl had been tearing skunk-cabbage to
pieces! Yes, that girl dotes on botany,
and no mistake!-B0ston Transcript.