The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1880-10-15
VARIETIES.

IL have three children, who nre the very
image of myself" II pity the youngest,
replied his interlocutor. "Why?" Because
he is the one who will have 10 resemble you
the longest"
-Grandpa-"Now, Tommy, can't you tell
me where port comes FROM" Tommy-"No
sir but / know where it goes TO-" The
| question is not pressed
do you think asked Miss Pepper
| that little temper is u bad thing in a
woman" "Ccrtainly not, maam," replied the
| gallant philosopher, "it is Il good thing, and
4 she ought never to lose it"
| Aunt Mary-"Now don't quarrel, chill
| dren. Rccollcct that birds in their little nests
| agree" Ethcl-"Wcll, it wouldn't do for
| them to fall out'-anyhow, not before they
could ny-would it, Mary"
I A Norwich man calls himself on his card
| Il "TcmpcrancG I5ootmakcr" The need OF
Temperance boots is apparent; for though
| they're not generally drunk it is n notorious
| fact That they're often tight.
A bashful young man was cscorting a
bashful young lady, when she said, cntrcat-
ingly, "Jabcz, don't tell anybody you bcaucd
me home" Don't bc afraid replied he,
Il am as much ashamed of ii rs you are
--"Do You know what YOU are eating p
whispered one OF the boardcrs, as he watched
his neighbor wrestling with II slice oflcaIhcry
pic "AHS,' sighed the martyr, Il know
only too well. lis but little faded -four
And hc PASSED his plate ior another slice.
How long will it be before you get this
work done?' said a lady TO an apprentice, who
was painting hcr house. We'll don't know,
marin said he: "thc boss has Just gone 10
look for another job; if he gets it, III be
done tomorrow, Bat ifhc don't I'm afraid it n
:al>c me alI next week
Tin closn' dis mcrtin',' said the Presi
dent ofthc Lime Kiln Club, as the usual hour
was marked 10y the clock "lCt cbcly Que o
you bar in mind uat BLOWN up Il bladder
tloan' make It bari. Git il as full of wind as
you may an it's muffin but bladder. DE
Lawi made each one fur spGshul purpose,
an de chap who was created to use II shovel
will gil busted cbcry time he believes dat he
was cut ont fur II statesman We will now
be scattered
Yesterday they We're Convcrsing about
| Spiritualsts, and he said that great many
people put old horse shoes in front of their
| doors to keep ont evil spirits. "Do you he
| liCvc there is anything in that ," she asked
| quietly. 81 dare say there is he responded.
| swell, then, John, ifyou believe an old horse
| shoc VIII keep pl'i SpIrllS oui, you gct one
| and hang it TO your nose the next time you
| 90 to n ward meeting, and perhaps it will
keep bad spirits out of your mouth" He
merely said after Il pause, that if there was
| anything in the world he hated, it was n re-
| ligious discussion.
q feel so confident" said an cXultant
Democrat the other evening, "that Hancock
is going to be elected that don't worry my.
| self ahout thc results any longer Why tho
other evening was in company of eight
gentlemen, every one of them Republicans
| who, when polIcd said they were going tc
vote for Hancock" THAT'S no criterion,
said the Republican to whom the remarks
were addressed Eight Republicans cant
make President" MAY be so" was th'
sharp reply ;"but eight Republicans did make
Il President three years and a half ago"-
That Republican is still bordering.