The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-10-07
WAITS AND WHIMS:.

shoes.
BEES carry pollen dust on their legs.
That is how dust the busy bee.
A MAN who wears ten-cent piece on
his shirt front calls it his dime and pin.
"HopE springs eternal in the human
breast" But he who sits on tack
springs best.
SOME women were evidently "born to
blush unsccn'-at least they are never
seen to blush
4 MEDICAL student declares that the
sudden death of Little Eva was calcu-
lated to awe Topsey.
THEnG is nothing in the four quarters
of the globe more unreliable than the
hind-quartcrs of mule.
SAMsON's strength depended on his
hair; but a woman's strength depends
upon the strength Of her hair-pins.
A PATENT medicine mans conveyance
ran away yesterday, and you should have
seen the way tho drugstore down the
| street
"TREAr woman Ikea splendid flower"
says Bob Ingersoll. $50 | do. have
planted mine, says widower who has
buried three wives.
A LITTLE boy being told by his mother
to take powder she had prepared for
him, Powder, POWDER" said he,
''mother, | amt gun.
A DASBURY officer always looks on the
bright side OF things He says, were it
not for the episode in the Garden of Eden
he would not be policeman. .-Dan6Wy
NcHS.
"IF Jones undertakes topull my ears"
said loud-mouthcd fellow on the street
corner, che will have his hands full. "
The crowd looked at the mans ears and
smiled.
"YEs, it's Johns grave" murmured
the disconsolatc widow. land he was
good man; and it did seem wicked
waste of money to put so good casket
under all that damp earth.
A Troy gentleman who married
widow, complained to her that he liked
his beef well done "Ah, | thought
was cooking for Mr.. Brown" said she,
"but, darling, | will try and forget tho
poor dear
A SEXTON reported that corpse cx-
humcd in Il graveyard was petrihed and
many persons went to see the body.
| Their curiosity was soon satisfied. The
sexton had inadvertently put an Sc in
stead Of II ''u' after the ''p' i'll ''petri-
fled
JUST before visiting the monagerie,
Johnnie had a passngc-at-arms with the
Young aunt who assisted at his toilet,
and with whom he flew into rage. Ar
| rived ut the mrnagcrie, Johnnie was I'M
mcnscly Interested 10y n strange foreign
animal with long 1.-the body. what
animal is that, mamma?' he asked. 'It
is called an ant eater, my SON. After
long silence Mamma, can't we bring
Aunt Mary here some day?'
sis YOUR programme FULL Miss Beetle
clusher?' asked n Young man of West
crn damscl who had Just struggled ont
OF the retreshmcnt room with disap-
pOintmcnt i'll her eye and an "order OF
dances in her hand. Programme full?''
said the daughter of the setting sun,
wall | guess not! hain't had nothin'
hut Il piece O cake and an ice cream, an
that don't 80 fur towards film my pro-
gramme, | can tell YOU"
81 WISH was a cdytur,
I'd in my sanktum stand
An wear upon my cOuntynance
A smile jlst oriul bland,
An when the Cand ydae cum in
To try to talty me,
I'd exercise no mOdestv,
To any crate degree;
I'd tell him rite into his teeth,
That our inhOo'ncr alters
Is lent TO the aspirin man
That has the Shinin SsSs
An ii he plunged up the dust
Forthwith my sheet d praise him,
! But ii he didn't cum TO time,
Crate Moses how I'd raise mi"
Modern Argo.
SHE (whispering)-"Hush Take it,
darling! Your heart will teach you to
find ont it's use." Hc-"Kind, thought
full girl Any dainty is welcome i'll camp,
and. Sho-"Not word, papa is
waking. Goodbye" And he was gone.
And when he found she had given him a
cat in the basket he waxed wroth, for,
alas! his heart did not teach him that
when i'll camp he should hide billet I'M
| der his collar and let it loose, whereupon
Tom would make his way straight back
| to his mistress.
WE will certainly be called on to record
the sudden and violent death of that fel-
low GilhooIy Yesterday he stopped in
front of fruit stand on Galveston ave-
nuc and picked ont several peaches,
squeezed them until the stuffing came
out of them, trying to find out if they
were ripe, and then he put them back.
Look here, can't sell them peaches
after you have squeezed them" "You
didn't sell 'em before / squeezed 'em did
you?" "No, but" "Well, if you don't
sell 'em after I've squeezed EN-, you ain
any worse off than you were before. You
must learn to reason, man, before you
talk .-GQlUeSt0n NCWs.