The Florida agriculturist., 1880-03-24
MARCH "A
VARIETIES.

PSOl"Hg WACH ySi oWOOouO"'oo "AN~
ye"
''Shall l hereafter darn your stock
ings ?" is said to be the fashionable
language for young lady to use
when making a leap year proposal.
In Extremis-Pat: "Do you buy
rags and bones here 2" Merchant:
awe do, surr." Pat. "Thin, be ia
bers put me on the schkales !"-
Punch.
elbow nicely this corn pops," said
young man who was sitting with
his sweetheart before the fire. Eyes"
she responded, demurely, "its got
over being green"
Servant, Ito caller inquiring for the
doctor): "The doctor is not in, sir"
Caller: "Sorry to hear it. | come to
pay bill I owe him." Servant:
ooh, that's it! Then-then come in.
and will look once more"
When Naomi stooa up to get
married ,and the clergyman asked her
if she was sure she was fourteen
years old, it must have been terri
BILE twist for her to admit that she
was five hundred and eighty.
In forming a Judgment, lay your
hearts void of foretaken opinions;
else whatsoever is done or said will
be measured or said bv wrong
rule; like them who have the jaundice
to whom everything appears yellow.
SIR Philip Sidney.
"Never leave what you undertake
until you can reach your arms around
it and clinch your hands on the other
side" says recently published book
for young men. "Very good advice,
but what if she screams ?" asks
bashful paragrapher.
The Bible is the food of the soul,
even as the mothers milk is for the
nourishment of the babe; and you
may as we'll believe that the infant
will grow without food, as that you
will grow in grace without the Scrip.
tures.-Joh7a AngeI James.
In England young gentlemen
speak of their fathers as ''the govern
Or" "pater," "the overseer," etc.
Here they are more civilized. They
say dad, "the hoss, or "the old
man." In heather countries they say
"father," but they are always behind
the age.
A young lady in Chicago, when
asked by the officiating minister,
"Will you love, honor and obey this
man as your husband and be to him
a true wife p said plainly, eyes if he
does what he promised me finan.
cialiy"
Clergyman-"So hear you've got
married again, Jacob" Jacob-"Es,
sur; 1 thought as how winter was
coming on, and Betty, she's got one
blanket and I got t'other, We might
as well make EN- pair, and be more
comfortable like" .".-Fa<n.
"The captain is going to haul down
all the sheets immediately" said a
passenger on one of the ocean steam
ers, as he came down below. COW!
the rude thing-he shan't come in
here at any rate, shrieked a shrllI
feminine voice, followed by the bang
ing of state room door.
A Danbury young man offended
one OF the lady clerks in a fancy goods
store at a party few evenings ago.
A day or two later he went into the
store and inquired if she had "gentle-
mems gloves" She answered, "Yes."
Il want to get pair," he said. "Who
are they for ?" she asked, looking him
straight in the eyes. "Why-for-
me-" he gasped, turning scarlet under
the insinuation in her inquiry.-Dan-
a~y Neaos.
MIR. c. was pastor of Baptist
church in certain town in one of the
western states. He had been on
very bad terms with his flock for
some time. They abused him when,
ever they could find occasion, and he
reciprocated with equal readiness.
Before his contract with the parish
expired, he received the appointment
OF chaplain at the state prison.
Elated at this lucky opportunity of
getting rid of him. the congregation
came in full numbers to hear his fare.
we'll sermon. perhaps less to compli-
ment than to annoy him with their
presence. Great was their astonish.
ment, and still greater their anger,
when the reverend gentleman chose
for his tpXi the fnllnwinn mnrdc AI