The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-07-15
Trying to Drive O Hen.

Did you ever undertake to drive q hen
anywhereP If not, then never say
"Where there's will there's way,h
or "All things are possible to him who
perseveref,"" because you don't know
anything about it.
Driving a hen properly, and decor.
ously, and successfully requires more
skill than capturing herd of buffalo.
Inc hen you want to drive is always a
strong-minded hen. If she had been q
woman she would have wanted the
ballot long ago, and her husband would
have had to keep quiet when she got
set on anything. But being only a
hen, all she can do is to cackle, I'd be
contrary, and thwart you at every turn.
IL you want her to go in somewhere
| she'll be sure to want to 60 out, and
vice versa. You want to drive her
most when she gets out of the coop, and
gets into your garden, to the total de-
struction of your pet bulbs, and roots,
and seeds, and everything else. One
smart, active hen will do more harm in
one hour than COW would in half
day.
A hen is born with an instinct to get
at the root of the matter, and she fol-
lows out her nature.
When your hen gets out of confine-
ment she makes straight for your
choicest flower bed, and she stays there
Tor an hour before you discover her.
B,y that time she has dug out everything
that you cared anything about, and has
buried herself up all but her head, and
there she lies in the sun with happiness
and triumph in her speaking cUunten-
ance.
How mad you are! You feel as if you
could sever her joints and make her
INTO pot-pie with a will-no matter il
she is one of the trio that cost $40.
You go for her with energy, and
scream out "shoow at her, and flourish
your apron, and make wild gestures in
her direction, and call your husband
and the children and the hired girl 10
help drive her into her quarters.
Now, it is never any use to call man
to help drive hen. We are willing to
admit that the lords OF creation can do
quantities of things that the weaker sex
cannot, but there is one thing n man
can never do-and that is drive hen.
He'll break the rake-handle, and get
hung in the clothes-line, and lose his
hat, and fall down over the croquet
1wickets, and burst off two or three of
his suspender buttons, and the hen will
lily up on the top of the barn or take
refuge in the tallest tree on the premises,
and there she will stay and laugh at
him until she is ready to come down.
And all the men in creation cannot
drive her down, for she knows that she |
has got things her own way.
our hen that you are going to drive |
generally cackles all the time you are |
trying to drive her. 1t gives her cour-
age, perhaps, to defy you 1t is like the |
music OF martial band when the troops |
are marching into battle. 1t is as in |
spring as the strains of Yankee |
Doodle " to the hens ear You try gen.
tleness first.
"Shoo, hid1y! shoe, biddy! shoe,
tEere!" and she plunges off in the di-
rectlon contrary to the one you wish |
her to go in; and then you draw off your
forces and execute a flank movement, |
and pen her up, but prestoi Just as
you think you have got her, she squats
ana gives, a scoot right under your
hen you get some corn and try to bribe
her. Oh, no, she doesn't want any corn.
hank you. She is above bribery. She
doesn't take any stock in your "chicky!
'hicky! chlckyw delivered in your
most cajoling OF voices. Still she
'ackles; A. the roosters cackle, too,
evidently tickled with her spunk. A
ew hens who arc not curious Join in.
All the neighbors will be looking out TO
zee what on earth you are making
hem hens screech so for"
Your husband gets a pole and makes
dive tor that hen. He'll fix her cackle
or her, he says; she'll 60 into that len-
louse or hell know the reason!
And by the time he has chased her all
'ver the premises, and torn his pants
md knocked a piece of skin off his hand
md run over little Charley, ne does
IND out the reason. 1t is because she is
lot OF mind to go into that hen house.
And he says that hens are nuisance.
nd that he'll kill the whole of 'em. and
le wishes there had never been one in.
-ented.
BY this time you are tired of his help.
nd you request him to go away and
ou'l IL drive that hen.
Then you begin, and the hen begins
90. She flies over the fence, and up on
neighbor's woodshed ana down into
omebody's pig-pen, and then the pig
axes after her with vim, and she flies
ut with screech. and runs under the
arm, and there she stays till night. and
hen If you will leave open your hen
ouse door she will lind her way thither.
$ meek and innocent looking as YOU
lease-for "chickens and curses come
ome to roost. t."-Rats 2horne.