Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-04-30
UNRoUALLY YOKED.

means3 cOnnneu 70 bne ruuer, unedu-
Gated and unrefned classes. IL must
be that in entering into the marriage re-
Ation there generally has been motive
stronger and purer than mere fancy or
convenience. But, alasl how often,
where none can doubt but that love was
the ruling cause, tribes light as air
spring up and bring discord and heart
burnings where most there should be
peace and unalloyed happiness. How
often a careless word, look, a mistake, a
trifing Misunderstanding, "a flash of tenn
per, caused it may be by concealed ILL
ness, but repented of as soon as shown,
has left a cOolness that one frank, honest
word could have dispelled. But pride
on one side, over-sensitiveness and nat
ural timidity with pride on the other,
hold back the olive branch and leave
the pain to sink deeper and deeper, and
the GOODNESS to stiffen into ice. When
that is permitted correct understand
ing or explanation seems almost past
hope. When, unfortunately, this state
of things is noticed by others, whispers
and hints help to increase the trouble.
Incompatbility of temper, uncongenial-
ity Of disposition, being 'unequally
yoked," etc., are dAly heard,
and the cloud not bigger
than an infants hand grows
darker and broader and all the worse
for the oficiousness of friends( p, until
it threatens TO break the sacred tie and
plunge two lives that should have been
as one into utter darkness and irretriev-
able anguish. Is there no unseen in
iluence to watch and guard this holy
relation2 No little child gone up TO the
angels to reach down and lead them
out from under this cloudP
From what slight causes such discord
often springs; and because neither is
willing or knows how 10 yield, or if
ready and longing, each shrinls from
taking the initiative, fearing to blunder,
the right moment is lost and the breach
grows wider. How many separations
or divorces have sprung from causes so
slight that on looking back after the
tempest, when all is lost, neither would
be able distinctly to state how the trou-
BILE began!
In all cases, whatever the cause, It is
too delicate for a third party to meddle
with. With the very best intentions,
they too often add fuel TO the flames.
If the union was founded in love any
little disturbances that sometimes occur
may be quieted by slighter thing than
that which caused the mistake A
mans pride restraints his tongue, but if
a wife is watchful she can readily un-
derstand the first approach toward rec
onciliation even If no word is spoken;
a smile, look, a hand-caress is all
powerful.
"The tongue is very proud, abomina-
bly, proud and ugly, and often refuses to
say what the heart desires and knows
should he said, but the fingers can con-
vey an apologetic or a fOrgiving press
ure which will have power to stop nine
ty-nine quarrels or Misunderstanding
in a hundred il the parties truly love
each other A wife win do wisely If she
accepts such demonstration from her
husband as an acknowledgment that he
has been mistaken, wrong or unjust
concessions which few men can bring
themselves to utter--or If the greatest
blame rests with the wife he will be
more ready by gentle caressing touch
to prepare the way for her acknowledge
ment than by embarrassing her with
WOrds.n
II Is folly for woman's pride to bar
the way against q happy termination Of
all that threatens to lessen coniugal af-
fection. Her sense Of duty or rightmay
justify her silence in some cases, but her
pride never. Is it just, then, to ask a
woman to stoop to make the first con-
cession, the first advances, when, how
ever much she may have erred through
supposed proyocations, she knows the
first mistake was not made by herP
When so much is at stake we can not
call ii STOPPING to crush back into her
own heart the pain or the sense of in
jury, and by gentle words, kind acts,
and every honest concession, labor and
pray for the return of peace and conf
denoe, hoping, trusting, that by this
sacrifice on her part the wrong, mis-
take, misapprehension-call 1t by what
name you will--may be dispelled, and
sweet peace and confidence be fully es-
tablished.
Mistakes thus adjusted seldom occur
again If peace and love are thus restored
without much talk, without long expla-
nations which usually ''make that darker
which was dark enough before"
No one doubts but woman is so con-
stituted that she can endure hardship,
pain and trouble with more patience,
aud can conceal suffering more entirely
than man. II Is her nature. Why,
then, when a cloud hovers over the two
should she not be the first to try and
dispel the coming darkness, even Il at
some pain and discomfort to herselfP
Her reward well be so great. All, II both
were capable of reading each others
inmost thoughts correctly how near
akin to heaven married life would bel
Strange as IL may seem, 1t is not al
ways those who are the most alike, eth
er in the marriage relations or In close
friendships, that are the safest or hap
piest Often those who are exact coun-
terparts are happier in the end than ex-
act duplicates, for each may bring what
is lacking in the other, and thus make
the union or friendship more symmetri-
cal and perfect. But this dissimilarity
requires careful management at first.
Each must learn TO read the other per-
fectly before they come into the true
harmony which makes love or friend
ship blessed, This is not always easy,
and till the heart languageis thoroughly
understood little jars are likely 10 oo-
cur, This is why the first two or three
years of friendship or marriage will be
like a school, where all the rules, the
moods and lenses are 10 be thoroughly
studied, and each heart becomes as an
open book 10 the other. Woe be 10
friend or lover II the lesson is not well
understood II is while It Is being
learned that most dissensions and trou-
bles spring up, and more wisdom, pa
tienee and forbearance are necessary.
But when they once understand how 10
interpret each other as God meant them
TO- recognizing and accepting the traits