The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-03-04
He Didn't Advertise.

hEU biul Au'N' "6Ns
He wasa short, thick-set man, with
dyspoptic side whiskers. His gait was
about as lively as that of sick car
horse, and his hat was covered with
grass spots. He ambed slowly into the
editOrial-room of the Sand Flat Snake
faplg, took o seat, and said, 81 just
dropped in, Mr.. Editor, to see if"
Il am very busy at present; call in to-
morrow" replied the editor.
"Never put off till tomorrow what
can be done to-day, isan old-time motto,
which l always wear i'll my hat. Would
you like to look inside of my hat?"
81 haven time to talk to you, sir,"
said the editor again.
"You shouldn't be SO RASH Now,
you don't know who L am. | may be
the head of convention coming to
inform you of your nomination for
Congress, or 1 may be shabby old miser
who has selected you as his heir to a
large estate"
"Will you leave, sir?"
"You needn't get mad in that style.
I didn't come here to tell you that L
have long been reader of youryaluable
paper, Or"
who are you, anyhow" asked the
editor, jumping to his feet.
"Well, I'll tell you who 1 am. I'm
the evolver of q patent pill, and l have
been having verses written on it which
lam going to insert in the papers at
advertising rates. The verses are mostly
of bucolic turn for instance:
"If you would feel as lively as
Junes sun-kissed dafodis,
BE not an hour without box
OF ]. Maguitns pills.
"Here is another:
'Thou who life screnely huRgest,
IL thou burdened art with ills,
Purchase J. Maguflin's pills,
For sale by every druggist.
'Now, then, I've got one more; this
is regular old copper-plated pastoral:
"n you'd be as gay as the dcwy phlox
Which the garden with perfume fills,
Opurchase ]. Maguffn's pills,
They're twenty-five cents box"
"Yery NICE" said the editor, in tones
which showed that he was conscious OF
the fact that he had made sad error,
and that he yet might get the verses to
publish in his paper.
"Yes, know, but they are too nice for
the Snakgdng. l was going to give
about s., 900 per year, but now won't.
You are not polite enough. | only adj
vertise with polite men. I'll go and
have these verses painted on the fence;
that's what I'll do. Fence space costs
nothing" and he made a majestic exit.
ioHth.
There is nothing like youth. The
sunshine streams upon the flowers.
The blood rushes wildly through the
veins. The air is full of music, and
echoes of happy laughter are borne on
every breeze. All the world seems
wrapped in golden mist, and hope, q
white winged angel, shines in the rosy
heaven of the future. For age, the
rustic of the dead leavesl For sorrow,
the vail of the autumn wind, the sad
November twilight, and the lonesome
splashing of the rain! What have age
and sorrow to do with life? Let them
thrust away their doleful gloom-while
for youth and beauty, and love and
mirth, the silver bells ring, the wine
sparkles, aud the earth is strewn with
roses.-William 2'',Isr
GENERAL REUBEN was seated on q
mackerel-barrel, with his feet on a
couple of sugar hogsheads, and had just
given an account Of how he froze them
sliding down hill in the winter of '75.
There was silence for a few minutes, in
terrupted by an interrogation by Mozart
Daffadil: "Do you mean, General, to
have our understanding comprehend dat
you froze bof of dem feet in one win
terp "Boff," replied the General, cut
ting of a piece of tobacco about the
size Of 10Y hsrmonica. After another
reign of silence the General demanded,
"Do you doubt that statement, sahP'
"No," replied Mozart, 81 was only
thinking what long, hard winter it
must have been"