The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1880-11-20
WIT AND HUMOR.

a little girl in church, after the COZ
tribution plate had been passed, con
placently and audibly said: III paiI
for four, ma-was that right|
An instance of precocity Is the cas-
of the little boy who asked his mothc
If crows were Matched from rooster|
eggs.
"Ahaw said Bridget, knocking oyc|
aprodigal chicken which had returne
after weeks absence, "it pleases ri
when chickens come no me to roast
NELLY, will you have some of Til
turkey~ eyes, papa" was the rcpl
Of tue four-year- as she looked |.
the stuiling, "bnt | wont have any d
the hash"
Oyorworkcd merchant: "How shall
contrive to get my mind of my bust
ness!" Well, ii you try to set rat
trap, in a very short time you will for
get all about your business, aud I'D
wondering how in hadcs the thing cam
bite 80.
God took his softcst clay and HID
purest colors and made fragile jewell
mysterious and caressing-thc finge1
OF woman; then lie fell asleep. The|
devil awoke, and at the end of that ro-
sy finger put-a nail. - Vtcior Hugo.
We have heard Of an old lady whol
was SO particularly neat that she AIN
ways washed hereggs before she broko|
them into the pan to fry; and was al
ways particularly careful, moreover,l
to spit in the pan to see if the fat was
Just exactly hot enough TO fry them.
said to my little girl ono day
"whata large forehead you have. IT,
1t is just like your fathers, you could
drive 4 pony carriage round it. To,
which her brother five years old,
said, Eyes, ma but on pas YOU can SEQ
the marks OF the wheels
A little girl who had been very OBJ
servant Of her parents mode OF exhib-
iting their charity, being asked what
generosity was, she answered, 'It Is
giving to the poor all the old stuff you
don't want yourself"
When young JEFF first came to town
his father told him that it would DO
polite to say to his host when being
helped to dinner, "llalf of that, if you
please" II SO happened that at tho
first dinner to which he was invited
sucking pig was one of the Dishes
The host pointed with his knife TO the
young porker, asked, "Wcll, Mr.. Jcil,
will you have this, our tavorite dish,
or haunch of mutton?" Upon which,
recolccting his first lesson, he replied,
"Iialf that, if you please" to the con-
sternation Of all present. -
An anxious father, says The Hours
was consulting one of the Wall street
inagnates as to what business he should
put hisson to. "My boy, sir" said he,
good in thai" said tho Wall street man,
juggling the double eagles in his pock-
cts, "n0ne Of the successful men know
are truthful. Better make your boy
an apothecary; that's the only bust
ness know where deceit does not pay
in the long run"
A Cambridge mother sent hor small
boy into the country, and after week
of anxiety has received this letter: "a
got here all right and l forgot to write
before; it is q very nice place to have
fun. A Teller and went out in q boat
and the boat tipped over and man
got me out and was 80 full OF water
| didn't know nothin' for a long while.
The other boy has got to be buried af-
ter they find him. His mother come
from Chelsea and she cries all the time
A boss kicked me over and l have got
TO have some money to pay o doctor
for fixing my head. Wearc going out
to set an old barn on fire Tonight, and
| should smile if | don't have bully
fun. | lost my watch and l am very
sorry. l shall bring home some mud
turtles and l shall bring home tame
woodchuck if | can get EN- in my
trunk"