The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-01-22

1874 men in France over 100 years old,
and 2,61S between So and 100.
II evil com unications corrupt good
manners, the oyster must be a bad fish,
for he's brought up with a rake.
Be the room ever 50 dark,
And the girl ever 80 dear,
No fellow can spark
With her big sister near.
Pat-'do you buy rags and bones
here9' Merchant-'we do, surr.' Pat
thin, he Jabers, put me on the
schkalesI'
This is a high-handed outrage as
the boy remarked when he found that
his mother had put the cookies on the
upper shell.
That was a smart youngster who,
hearing his mother remark that she was
fond Of music, exclaimed: Then, why
don't you buy me a drumT
There are in Nebraska Ill Congrega-
tional churches, with II pastors and
3,121 members, of whom 4S3 were ad-
mitted during the past year.
A sentimental young man thus feel
ingly expressed himself: Even as nature
benevelently guards the rose with thorns,
so does she endow women with pins
The sisters of charity in the United
States numbered, at a recent enumera-
ton, 1,079, in charge of 1O6 establish.
ments.
Did you ever notice the fact that q
tramp who claims he has a trade, but
can get no work at it, in the winter is a
brickmaker, and in the summer a lum-
herman or ice sawyeri
When we are out Of sympathy with
the young, then 1 think our work in this
world is over That is a sign that the
heart has begun to wither-and that is
a dreadful kind of old age.
Pauperism is steadily increasing in
Germany. In 1875 one person in every
1874 in Berlin was a pauper. Now, one
person in every seventy-four. But the
emperor's army is as powerful as ever
A long housewife article has been
written on How to make a rag rug 1t
is a long process. The quickest wsyto
make q rag rug is to knock "a letter
out of the rag and put 'u'in the middle.
A very old lady, on her deathbed, in
penitential mood, said: Il was a great
sinner more than eighty years and didn't
know it. An old darkey woman, who
had lived with her a long time, ex-
claimed: Lors 1 knowed it,
'And how is your daughter, Mrs.
Brown inquired one nicely dressed
lady OF another. She's we'll enough, I
suppose. I haven't seen her to speak
to her for six weeks why, Thought
you two we're on the most friendly
terms well, we used to be, but we've
exchanged servants
Two raw Highlanders, Donald aud
Dugald, are walking along a street in
st. Mungo, when they Gene on a water
cart. Hill shouts Dugald to the driver,
'hi! you're losing all your waterl' Then
Donald comes in. ooh, Dugald, Dugald,
dinna show your ignorance. The water
is meant to keep boys from riding on
the back Of the cartl'
Does he know anything p a~nxiously
inquired afriend, bending cver the body
of the man who had just fallen from the
roof Of a house. Don't know, I'm sure
the physician replied. He never did
know anything; but you can't tell what
effect the fall may have had upon him
until he regains consciousness
A rich snob, who married a lady of
brilliant genius, said at a dinner party:
when we were married my wife de-
clared, with all my worldly gifts 1 thee
endow,' when she hadn't a penny in the
world But then there we're her
splendid talentsl' said a lady. 'Ohl'
exclaimed a wit, but she didn't endow
him with theml'
Here are the two meanest mon on
record; The owners of a clothing max
ing firm in Boston employ thirty-l
girls, who, from their poor earnings,
contributed 1922 on Thanksgiving day,
and gave each of the two members of
the firm a pretty album, occupying a
half hour in getting ready and making
the presentation. The two mean fellows
took the gifts with ready smiles, and on
pay day deducted from the wages Of the
girls time money for the half hour they
had occupied in giving the albums.
The last straw that breaks the back Of
your patience in the apothecary's shop,
after the polite pharmacist has carefully
put your three cents worth OF medi-
cine into q ton-cent bottle. wrapped il
up in two cents worth OF paper, tied it
with a cents worth of twine, and used
up about IS worth OF your time, is to
have him light a small lamp and use up
fifteen minutes more in sticking the
parcel together with sealing wax. Then,
having, in a half hour, gradually goaded
you TO frenzy, he blsndly says; Only
forty cents, sir