Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1880-04-06
VEGETABLE BALLS.

The vegetables mad masquerade oali.
The watermelon wore watered silk, the
cucumber came in green tarlatan and
treated everybody coolly, resenting the
exclamation of the awkward vegetable
that trod on her trail and exclaimed,
"Here is pretty pickle" The cauli-
flower came to call off for the dance, and
wanted his celery, cash down. The egg |
plant was dressed in purple, and would
have made a fine appearance but for lin.
tied conversational powers, being only
able to reply "Eggsactly' to all remarks
that were addressed to it. The lettuce
family was on hand, but very exclusive.
All they asked was, Lettuce alone"
The mustard was seemingly arrayed in
yellow satin, but complained Of the heat
and wanted to poultice another young
lady, who observed that it was pleasant
to see so many good people mustered
together. Old Pa Ships and Mr.. Carrot
were on hand with their two sons, Thomas
W., and Judas Thomas w. Pasnip
and Judas Iscariot. Also promptly ar
rived old Mr.. Bull Nosed Pepper, who
began a quarrel with Beet, because the
latter termed his language pepper-sauce.
Next to Mr.. Pepper stood Mr.. Potato,
wearing blue ribbon, and claiming to
be one of the originators of the Murphy
movement. He declined to dance, say
ing he had an eye out for the prettiest
woman in the room. He took back
seat, however, when Sweet Potato came
sauntering in and was declared BY the
ladies to be "too sweet for anything.
The Tomato enjoyed himself hugely. He
wanted to catch up with the music and
trip the light fantastic toma.toe. During
the dance young Rhubarb stalked across
the room and trod upon the equity To-
mato, for which rudeness he was de-
nounccd as Rhubarbarian. AT intermis-
sion a gang Of young Caraways got high
and rceled into the ballroom, singing,
We'll drive dull Car-away.' There
was also a disagreement between the
Radish and Turnip families. One of the
former family was heard to declare that
a female member of the latter family
had Turnip nose, to which the Turnips
replied that Miss Radish's nose was al
ways reddish. and she should like to pull
it. Young Mr. Lima Beans insulted his
mother on the floor. He said: You
Lima" whereupon old Mr.. Bean poled
him on the spot. The wealthy Mr.. Corn
came late-he was of the late kind. Mrs.
Corn was silked out to kill, but the chill
dren were all smut-faced and spindle
shanked. Young Mr.. Bunker Hill Beans,
of Boston, was recognised through his
costume. He wore bag domino, which
he had united on account of the heat.
So it happened that when Mr.. Squash
came up, put out his feeler and exclaimed
Beans, old boy, how are yc:" that Beans
replied: "How did you come TO know
me, Squash 2" "Oh, know beans when
the bag is united" responded Squash
gayly. as he whirled a crookneck into the
midst of the waltz. IL was an amusing
sight in the morning to see Savoy cab
bage rolling into BARRIERS shop TO have
his head rubbed up, with the complaint
that his hair curled and Al this point
picturesque looking chap across the
street beckoned for the classic Bohemian
to come that way, and as he thought he
detected liquid insinuation in the wave
of the other wanderers hand. he made
haste to go to his company.-Proride"ee
Journal