Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-09-17
Detroit Currency.

Last Sunday Beecler claimed he was
a Christian again.
Where is the man who found fault
with last winter?
AS rule the homeliest girls at Vas.
sar catch the most fish.
Blondiu threatens to walk over Nj.
agara this summer again. Better sail
over.
is predicted that there will not be
half dozen professional baseball
clubs In tle country next season.
The Boston Post feelngly remarks
| that 1t was gooi idea to take the CEN
sus before the steam thrashers got at
work.
English scientific papers laugh ut the
| folly Of Americans investing in light
ming rods. which 10 more protect than
clothes-line.
Prince Demidof lately lost $500 900
in gambling in a single night, vet he
walked out Of the den softly singing a
love ballad.
If you own an old house, u mill-pond
and siie-hill with cherry tree on it,
now is the time to advertise as a sum-
! mer resort.
Rochester girls faint dead away at q
proposal of marriage, and the proposer
jumps through the window in his terri
ole fright.
Massachusetts, people have been pay
ing SO for a certain cure for consump-
ton, aud the certain cure is nothing but
'lasses and water.
If you are ever nominated for the
Presidency couch your letter of accept
ance as follows: Thanks. 1 accept.
Lets win if We can"
A Kentucky boy was in hurry to go
fishing, SO he watered the horses in an
old paint koy. His father is now look.
ing for aaother team.
An Ohio girl was struck by lightning
while splitting wood in thunder storm,
but her father, who sat reading novel,
scarcely felt the shock.
Boston has public vinegar inspec-
tor ut "a salary of 81 900 per year. One
would think he woald get awfully tired
looking for his mother"
If You think of ever running for
Office he liar, II cheat, q robber and
several other things. Then some paper
may tell the truth about you.
English Lords have taken to build.
ing themselves such costly monuments
that some of their relatives will have
neither monument nor legacy.
1t is ASSERTED that Gen. Meigs, the
Chief Z Iartermaster of the army,
| hu,,I hat k,a 70
read Que of his loye-letters.
Since the advent of shoal of man.
eating sharks in New York Bay the
bathers at Long Island swim with one
leg aud feel around with the other.
A Brooklyn mother fed her year. old
baby ON sliced cucumbers and mills
and then wanted the pray ers Of the
church because the Lord took it away. .
Those people who sit in second and
third-story windows to sleep always So.
cure more or less space IN the daily
papers and have AS big funerals as any
Body.
Lowell, Mass, is also disappointed in
the census. She has several thousand
more inn2hit!asS.s .ssis@ssssH~ united on,
and must therefore increase her poor
fund.
Lorpe caught nothing but the rheu-
matism on his recent fishing expedi
ton. He got lots of bites, though; in
deed. he says he never saw mosquitoes
SO plentiful.
Sections of New England churches
take pride in seeing who can ring his
bell loudest and longest, and that's why
the clappers of so many church bells
turn up missing.
TIE Cincinnati Gazette is trying to
work up feeling for the starving
Turks and Persians whose own laziness
and shiftlessness have caused hard
times aud q famine.
They're heightened in Deadwood, and
they wouldn't 60 to see the Black
Crook" until it was advertised as writ
ten by Shakespeare, and then they
couldn't keep people away.
More than half a million people
make living in, this country by making
umbrellas. yet it does not rain more
than one day out of ten. We pay
heap OF money to keep dry.
AT the time Captain COOK was Killed
and eaten he had three wives, and
would have been imprisoned had he
reached home. His death was there
fore lucky thing for him.
When tramp tells you he has had
nothing to eat for three days. just
throw DR.. Tanners case at him. Every
law abiding tramp should be satisfied
with one meal in seven days.
M. Sarcey, the French critic, &C.
compsnied Sara Bernhardt to England
ami reads a newspaper whe n her divine
thlnness is on the stage. Perhaps that's
what makes Sara so Sarcey.
A pint bottle of lager costs sixty
cents at Niagara Falls hotel. or just
the price of twelve pint bottles at a
saloon. You pay for the dignity OF
the head waiter who opens the bottle.
During hailstorm in Troy q boy
heaved twenty pound coke OF ice into
the street and over fifty persons made
oath that it was hailstone and that
they heard it strike roof and bound
off.
The King of the Sandwich Islands is