Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30
CURRENT NOTES.


| He was little lawyer man,
Who mechly blushed while he began
Her poor dead husbands VIII 10 scan
He smiled while thinking OF his fee
Then said to her. so tenderly.
.'You have a nice fat legacy.
| And when he Law next day in bed
With plaster on his broken head,
He wondered what earth he said
Anna-"How | do love pets before
was married | always had n monkey.
Arthur-''And what have you know !?
Anna-"You"
The reason that Darwin's missing linl
is 80 hard to find is because dead men tel
of no tails.-Ncw Orleans Times.
A little boy being told by his mothe,
to take powder she had prepared fol
Powder, powder" said he, put
ting on roguish smile, mother, | amt
gun"
The Burlington Hawkeyc remarks that
''as you travel around the country you
are more and more impressed with the
conviction that the chief end of man is tc
paint patent medicine signs on the
fences"
There is young lady in keokuk, Iowa,
who is six feet four inches tall and she il
| engaged 10 De ulhTTltu- lut iiiatii VIZ
won her did it in these words
..Thy beauty set nv soul aglow
I'd wed thee right or wrong.
/ Man wants but little here below,
But wants that little long
After telegraph pole had fallen on a
Savannah negro's head, he threw up his
hands and shouted '.Don't hit me again
wild yer club, Mr.. Policeman. 1t wasn't
me that stole der chickens. 1t was Dea.
con Henry" Then he looked, saw what hit
him, and walked off, saying ''Golly,
Use in luck dis morning l 'spected dat
de policeman had me shuah dat time.
A philosopher like all philosophers,
was poor At times he was hungry, at
all times he was ragged. He offered to a
Pasha to teach his donkey to read in five
years. But during the difficult task he
was to be clothed in purple and fine linen,
| fed on the best and lodged in a palace.
If he failed the penalty was death. One
day an old friend met him leading forth
the donkey to the grove where the lessons
were to be given, and he said, Surely
you do not expect that ass to read 2 The
! philosopher, putting his thumb to his
nose, winked one of his learned eyes and
said nothing. But" continued the
| II YOU lull lllt tlll VI NV
years you will surely be strangled.' my
friend" responded the philosopher, ''you
forget that in that time the ass may
| die"
| When YOU see mother of IL ten-year-
old boy making rapid progress in the di-
rectlon of the river with n good stout
bern pole in her hand, You will not befar
ont of the way should you conclude she
is going fishing She is going on a
whaling" provided she can find
the Yonkers Statesman.
When man looks back into the dim
vista of bygone years, about the only
things he can remember are his mother +
slippers, his first pair of boots, the old
schoolmaster and the little rosy-cheeked
school girl who used to make his heart
| flutter whenever she asked him for bite
of his chewing gum. Life WAS worth
living in those days, even though there
wasn't much money in it.-Hdckensack
Republican.
Persons who can see more beauty and
poetic feeling in one of those cracked and
dingy "old masters" the subject of which
may be an old mill or an old man-you
cannot, to save your life, tell which
| than they can discover in n modern paint
ing, which is true to life, and pleases the
eye, can no doubt see plenty Of ''soul, u
depth of tone and all that sort of thing,
in the scratchy. botchy and inartistic ell
cravings called 'etchings" which are
crowding ont Of our art publications the
handsome, clear and sharp line and stip-
pie engravings. We don't think any one
else an.-Norristoun Herald
Prince Hassan, who accompanies his
father, the ex- -Kkedive, in his travels, was
educated at Christ Church, Oxford.
There is story told of his remarking,
to Shf his Vie snG Gpddanal Rresefts4 him i'm
this is your harem Well, | congratu-
late you! -
Some of our art critics seem TO have
become members Of Zolas school of
realism. One of them, speaking about
the opening of the Metropolitan Museum
of Art, and referring to the pictures
says, Rosa Bonheur is represented by
exquisite calves. "-Ncu York Er press.
A citizen of New Hampshire under
took to introduce TO his townsmen Mr..
Green, attorney-at-law. Gentlemen, j
said he, this is Mr.. Turney, green at
law"
Leap-ycar party. Mr.. Gush o, what
ecstatic music ! it would mako stick
dance Miss Cool with great demure-
ness) Won't You try turn, Mr.. Gush ?
(And yet Gush didn't see it, and said,
"Chawmcd, I'm sure. "-Harrard Lam
poOn.
The Boston Transcript philosophises
as follows : 1t is little singular it
should be so, but you will find by listen
ing to the funeral sermon that the man
who gave literally to the church always
carries with him out of the world all the
cardinal and most of the minor virtues.
A correspondent of the Christian In
teUigencey says There was a very
pleasant gift party the other evening,
and the company sang We give up all
for Heaven, with great feeling but the
to resign. He said thaA three quarts of
beans, pillow-case of dried apples, two
pounds of head-cheese, pan Of twisted
doughnuts and a calico dressing gown
we're undoubtedly very valuable in their
way, but they seemed to form an unnatu-
raj basis to preach sound theology from. v
La petit Sophie, who is very destruct-
i've Of her toys, received last Christmas
an indestructible picture book printed on
cloth. She was at first delighted then
she began to turn the leaves with puz-
zled look. "What is the matter ?" said
mamma 81 can't find out how it is to
be torn !" whined the young iconoclast.
Said DIR. Blanche, the famous French
expert IN cases of insanity, to the Jurors
in case recently tried Ill Paris g: ''In
the prisoners drunken moods he would
grow sad and remorseful, and blame him
self for maltreating his wife, as drunk
ards often do, gentlemen, as without
doubt you yourselves know"
| COMFORT FOR FAT FoLK-Says the Lon
don Lancet No doubt it is unpleasant to
be excessively obese but the morbid
dread of fat which has i'll recent years be-
come fashionable has no foundation III
| physiological fact Fat answers two pur-
poses-it acts as II non-conducting en-
velope for the body, and protects 1t from
too rapid loss of heat, and it serves as a
store of fuel In the course of exhausting
diseases it not unfrequently happens that
the life of patient may beprolonged un-
til the reserve Of fat is exhausted, and
then he dies of inanition. Fats supply
the material Of the heating process on
which vitality mainly depends. In great
excess externally Y il is inconvenient but the
layings on of fats is no certain measure
of the internal development of adipose
tissue; much less does IL tendency Ia grow
fat imply, or even suggest, a tendency Ia
what is known rs fatty degeneration. -
1t is time to speak out on this point, ns
the most absurd notions seem to prevail
Again, it is not true that special forms
of food determine fat. That is M old and
exploded notion. Some organisms will
make fat, let them be fed on the leancst
and scantiest and least saccharinc drscrip-
tions Of food, while others will not be
''fattened" let them feed on the most fat
tening" Of diets. The matter is one III
regard to which it is supremcly desirable
and polite to be natural, adapting tho
/ food Ia tnu ia the rauuirnmautG ,F haolt |,