Morning journal and courier., 1880-11-03
TORCHES FOR SALE.

Fall River girl earning salary of $3 a week, has fallen heiress to $150,OO0 We never noticed 1t before, but she is very pret- ty.
 The young woman who witnessed her young man carried away by a balloon saw her beau of promise in the sky.-EhtEadeI- 2'1ttG Chronicle Herald.
 The ballad singer sighs because 'sthere are no birds in last years nests It is a great pity. The poet will next cry because there are no clans in last years shells no wood chucks in old-time holes.-Neao Or2eans Pic Gy11e.
 western woman who married the next day after her husbands death excused her self on the ground that there was whole ham in the cellar and she was afraid it would spoil if she didn't get some one to help eat it.
 The young clerk who desires to pass him. self of as the wealthy son of retired man. ufacturer or lord of the soil should see that the height of the counter is not too plain ly marked on the binding of his vest.-Neac- Grk CdH.
 Mother, what is an angel?" ''An angel Well, an angel is being that flies" But, mother, why does papa always call my gov erness an angel ?'' e'Well," exclaimed the mother, after moments pause, ''shes go- ing to fly immediately"
 Since bicycles have become so fashionable 1t is proposed to popularize the wheelbarrow by changing it's name to the unicycle. It is thought if some of our swell youths would organize unicycle club they might possibly earn enough to pay for their cigarettes iSpicer.
 A lady wants to know why the railroad companies do not provide special cars for tobacco chewers as well as for smokers. Bless your innocent heart Tobacco chew CTS are not so particular as that. An ordi- nary passenger car is good enough for them. Boston Transcript
 There seems to be great anxiety and impa- tience on the part of the people to see the re- vised edition of the Bible, that they may see what changes have been made. The trouble with most people will be that they don't know enough about the old Bible to recog- nize the change when they see it. We heard a man say that he considered this unauthor- ized meddling with and changing of the cred book little less than bIasphemy And at the time of making the remark he was hunt ing all through the book of Job to find the quotation Make hay while the sun shines. /" -BurEington Haaokeye.
 A Galveston gentleman hired old uncle Nose to remove Q lot of rubbish, but the old man piled on such little loads that he man. aged to make an extra trip. Look here, uncle, if you had put cent-sized loads on your carG, you cOulQ ndN0 Carr1eO all tIldG ruD- bish off in one trip.'' CT knows it, boss; yer see Ise member of de Galveston society for de prevention ob cruelty to animals, and it would have been agin my principles to have put too heaby load on my old hoss" The gentleman sighed but paid over the money. ''Ain't yer gwine to frow in a dram ?' asks the old darky, working his mouth. q would like, uncle Nose, to give you a dram.'' ''Thank yer, boss, D said the old man. wink ing his eyes and smacking his lips. II say I would like to give you dram, but I am member of the Galveston Sons of Temper ance, and it would be against my principles to encourage drunkenness. ''-G Golgeston Ne7ns