Litchfield enquirer., 1880-02-26
CLIPPINGS.

hypocrte IS man who tries to he pious and can't, with preponderance of cant. D
 Owing to the industry of medical students an Ohio man is useful after he is dead.
 Insane men always behave themselves when in straight jackets. They do so from force of habit
 Colonel De Lancey Kane has led thirtv-fivp cotiiioEs this season. This summer he will drive hack as usual.
 Mamma. what are twins made for? ?" Her prccocions brother replied: .'So that cannibals may eat philopenas
 "Wanted. plain cook" reads an adver- tsment. The wife who inserted this is eyi. dentlv of jealous disposition. A well know Soph recently in recitation de- 1 nled ever having seen or heard of Klnr 'ames's Version. He thought it was some new pony. 3 The long -sought-after ''infallihe anti-fat remedy" seems to have been found. Pre-. scriptioh: Board with the Rev. Mr. Cow ley" .. s I..~@ 'When I was voung," said Mrs. Scoldwel, to her little gir', "'I used to love my dear mamma too we'll to act as you do." And dld vour mamma" replied Bertha. quickly. 'snsed to he all the time telling you what she did when she was a girl?"
 Mamma-''Well. Johnny, shall forgive you this tune, and it's very pretty of yon to write letter to say you're sorry" Johnny 'les. ma: don't tear it up please" Mamma Why not ?' Johnny-"Because it will do for the next time"
 It was worthy pastor rC , Who saw, with grief and care,
 His congregation go to sleep -,.. .,a Or-what is worse-elsewhere, .F
 He pondered long and deeply, ---~ 70. --. This wise and pious man,TF l As5 lA And at last hit on a simple E- And most effectual plan. Next Sunday-of his sermon, The text when he had said .7 He slid down the pulpit stairs And stood upon his head | By thousands f1ockt d the people, That preacher great to hear, And the trustees raised his salary
 To fifty thousand year.
 Several Vassar school girls were found fen. cing in the gymnasium with broomsticks. A professor told them that such an accomplish ,nent would not help them to secure husbands But girl replied that it would help to keep then--in order. r-.. eis
 What is political science }" asked an ex 1 change. Political science! Political science !! Oh. yes. we see. When you can make the people believe that yon can hold office better than the man who is in. and they have the l confidence to put you in his place, you have demonstrated about all there is in political science, r----s~s
 The Paris Charivari publishes a clever pic torial satire on M. Turquet's new regulation I for chasing the works of art in the coming Salon into sympathetic groups" A sculptor is examining with astonishment male figure with legs stretched widely apart, m which he recognises his own work. "Where." he asks,
 tis my equestrian statue ?n ''This is the rider" the guardian replies 'you will find the horse out wonder among the animals."s
 A Hungarian entered the studio of aportrait painter anu said: 'I want yon to paint a nortrait of my late father" "With pleasure sir. Have you photograph of the lamented dnceased ?" ''No; but you don't want any ph tograph. Just paint wild looking Hnn- garian about sixty years old and six feet high. with biz white mousi ache" Four weeks later the family came round to see the picture 1 'sBravo!" says the Hungarian,, warmly: fits a speaking likeness, only the old gentleman seems to have changed a good deal since his ! death." 57' rl scs- g..