The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-08
PASSING SMILES.
" have you been on bust lately =


" RAvE you been on a bust lately =
said the shoulder-h brace to the corset.
"My days works big gum" as the
foundry man said, when ne commenced
| to cast a cannon.
! HUsBAsD-'' Mary, my love, this ap-
! pie dumpl7 i4 81 It half done" Wife
| well, finish It, then, my dear"
CNf hair III The hash VIII cost more
| hard feelings than seven notices on the
walls can overcome.-AH1 California
"A MAN recently died in New Orleans
| from eRtiHs' matclscs, ," SAWS the Washing
| ton CuHifdi We pre- ume eating
matches may lie as fatal as starving or
walking matches
KANSAS reports his corn crop, three
million and a half Of sa-.a growing in
tina. state, and only million # irhabit-
ants. Three and half corus to each
person. Big feat.
8" 7 HAVE three children who are the
very image Of myself" 81 pity the
youngest, replied his iuterlOcuter.
why ?" E" Because he is the one who
Will have to resemble you the longest .
SEVERAL salesladles write tothe Herald
that they feel insulted when fhev are
called shop girls. Possibly it would he
well to compromise this ma-ter-to oivs
them, Tor instance trIlv legitimate title
"cOunLar Jumper. -istn7ira Free Press.
PATTI bossed the carpenter work Of
her new home in Wales. sud as a conse-
quence she had eight rooms torn TO pieces
two OF three times over, and noE she has
lawsuit With the carpenter. But sire
has more closets than house, and is
happy.
THE Baroness Burdett- Coutts has had
over forty proposals Of marriage. II
she d accepted the first one size wouldn't
have had the other thiTty-rine 70 brag
Of, but she wouldn't have died an old
maid. Dye mind that, girls.-BostoH
Post.
SC In what condition was the patriarch
Job at the end of his lifo ?" asked a
Brooklyn Sunday-school teacher of a
quiet looking boy at the foot of the class.
" Dead, calmly replied the quiet look
ing boy. From this answer no appeal
was taken.
ARTEA1Us WARD once told as that the
funniest story he ever heard was about
an lnehriated reporter, who leaned over
the railing Of the reporters gallery in the
English House Of Lords and inquired
g VIII shum noble ord plea shing comic
shong?"
The trouble about taking a medicics
warranted TO cure al, diseases is that II |
may not know exactly what is wanted Of
it, and in that case it will go fcoling |
around in the system trying to cure you |
Of some disease that you have not got !
Netg orleans PicnyuHe.
A KANSAS CRY reporter records the |
fact that the defeated candidate "took |
his way to the train, wrapped II gloom |
and new store clothes. The gloom was an !
elegant fit, but tau store clothes were too I
short in the legs AID very baggy about !
the shoulders
SIZE was charming girl, aud her meth !
cd Of explaining what she had heard |
at the scientific meeting was Irresistible !
Discouslng upon the phOtOphone she !
said, lucldly, " YoU see by means of a !
lens they condeDse ray of space" |
The rest Of her remark was lost in the |
laughter of the company.
LAST week a Bible agent sat down on
a farmers table up III Scott County,
played euchre with the old man and won
a yoke of four-y year-old steers from him.
and then made him buy eight dozen |
Bibles and sixteen pounds of tracts to |
redeem his steers. Darlington Hu5Ck- |
eye.
TIE most insulting sort Of iupudence |
is tolerated 1T seaside resorts. " Have |
you taken a bAth this morning Is a 1
question that may ne asF of lady at /
such place, and II IS fnr,iy over resent |
ed. The same question II town would [.
sever friendship and cause somsbody to |
get hunt
FAsaIOHAFlE Galveston lady at a .
social gathering remarks jastlgly 10 |
,1illOUly: II wonder how much ] would |
yrlng if | was put up at auction and /
sold to the highest bidder" ''Just about |
3, Geo." ''Why, my jewelry alone is
worth that" ''Yes. that's what L put
t down at In my estimate. - GGlUeStOH
Net0S.
In one of the census book filed in the
County Clerks Office, the census enumer-
ltor, by some accident, put down the
laIue OF one individual turned around,
hat is, the given name whore the sur
name should be. Instead of rewriting
he name, he wrote above it an expiana-
ory note, " turned around itself. p
FreCDt0aa.
''WHY," some writer asks, "is a bril-
liant man less brilliant with has wife than
With any one else?" Wen, we suppose
he asks him for money ofteuer than any
ne else. You take to borrowing money
egularly and constantly Of your dearest
md most brilliant friend, and see what
sill become OF his brilliancy in your
'resenea