The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-06-25
Mlst4,slcal
lAaE ssa.as of Para :gg.sa j d! 4.
The heil=ffs very set III ways.
THE jaelseF leans on a 40 gait.
\ smooth bore-A life-insurance
As a rule the safe blower is a retfss i
llgtlI.

TfIeiaekeF leans on 40 gait
\ smooth bore-A lfe-insuranca
: As a rule the safe blower is a retiesis
: man.
Very seldom round-The square issaa.
-i-PpcE.
{ "A chiel among ye, taking notes
t kpocket.-PucE.
The man who has the key 70 the sittsa
: tom keeps an intelligence office.
The forests OF the earth are estiniatee ~
cover one fourth Of the land surface
A state n,mero,sly Inhabited, bul not
on the map-Fhe state OF suspense.
Stocks generally go down in the summer
This rule docs not apply TO cor1-staiss
The Arab who invented alcohol died
nine hundred years ago, b,r his spirit sRt
lives. a.
There is something in tho wind, ig#
only coughs and cstarrlt, says the x
4, -Ia1.
Pay as you go is rule, lhe sppliass
ton of which is most general OH loisu,
railroads.
A Philadelphia, philosopher has uiseov-
cred that all fools are not tops, but aIl tops
are fools.
4 great many men who start out 10 IT.
form the world leave themselves off Sur
the last job.
The Mrs. BIoomer who invented the ce9-
ebratctl tsBlocncr costume is still alive
and happy.
When the BARRIERS shops are all full You
| clothing stores
Forty women studied in the Lchdaa
School of Medicine for women during tha
term just closed.
The glazier who was cheated our of hls
pay complained that he got only his trouble
for his panes
There is a church in Norway with its
interior made of paper. The bas re!tefs
are of paper also. 80. -.
The Prodigal Son is the only indivgdu4l
we ever knew to acknowledge that h. got
Tired of q husking. ss54
New proeerb-You cannot raise silver
crested Hamburgs by setting It hen Oh
nickel-plated eggs.
There is one class of persons to whom
the board of aldermen has meyer given i
s'hearing' g''-'The deaf.
A man explained his extreme badness
by saying that he wasn't around was85
they were giving out hair.
People always sympathize with tle
der dog in the fight, but they sNt
money Oh the other animal.
\ couple of plumbers are tallssss
ing Niagara Falls this summer tsff
senting it to the government,
Pasteboard boxes ara becomiIlg psspH
lar as Those made ofWood fer 1EaESi3s
fruit, and. ire much cheaper.
philadelphia has the honor Of
the silence party, where. until *#f5a8
time, no one is allowed to speak
At the present rates of inmi&Fa
vast territory of the West Is be5H5$ 1854
filled up by the nations of Eurf9I
The Oil City Derrick says the
River is SO curving that maj
on its banks will sometimes tIeN%
oWo heels.
How many can adopt the d%iH# soEaH
of Payson us their own living
~ long to hand a cup of hap##0N*s
every human being:''
A certain Junior has at last aIsz%.5sf$s
one advantage in the faculty #s
that they write to his parents Sc aSsaEs
it saves him the trouble.
Never point an unloaded gl#aGis=@
for fun If the gun goes off, it II 81
to kick you like sixty, and if q ~ ~
the man may do it himself.
Women always claim to be Eax.l93s fe
have as good husbands as possib5gs #Ga
we never attend a wedding N6eYA siss
bride married the best man.
One of those high-toned bafaS
hang around New York's best &af,$@ss
turned out an original ItaliaR
with al original wife and sever
wives.
EfIf you grasp a rattlesnake f1#iE1%# aEst
the neck, he cannot strike yo#s
Western paper. There is now no essssis
for any ones being bitten by tI3esa saE~
pents.
The HON Jrnl silks to its spelfgs Esl
przstncy worthy q bctr koz. fEa# ia}8g-
wage to lux like ytern ov TIE Inf Nart
minus wun arm and both le@s&A44
Com. Adc. --
A French ofiice-holder goes tttz5 @flea
with full pockets, and comes 4at 8IstA
empty ones. The French hase 30 re-
reached the sublinity of the IAsaeEican
republic.-N.. Y. Mail.
One of our dry-goods dealers adse9FE,s
'tsomething new in corsets." Ne 'ig nas
know what it can be that is any bette than
what was in them before. Nos azs new
thing in corsets if you please.
The teachings Of Rev. T. Moore. a Cow
ington, KY, that it is propeE 70 aegote
Sunday to recreation as well as feiisEiaat
were pronounced heretical by lie DIS sb9-
terry, and he has left that body
At police court: Judge-'' Il.onr alRte-
cedents are not too good. Y9a hayS q
ready been three times in prison, Igts90eF
-'sBut you forget, Monsieur u Ipagze,
that l ana sixty five. At thai ags it's
| not much.
It seems on!y necessary for sqA1e taetl5eak
institutions to have lot of labzlsz prfrt-
ed, to wit: ssrhis is q doctor" lQ eat1 tlIcas
diplomas, ana to hire a small l0T ID
them OIL candidates for professional ho3sara
w. Y. Nail.
lie was watching his neighSsEss t5qg
climb a tree. and he had a look Of pa8Ettala
anxiety Oh his countenance. sa yotl
afraid the lad will fall and break ha aeab, 2''
| was asked him. .sNo, - he repli&Sf & an
deucedly afraid he won't.
The latest plan for crossing tAe English
Channel is embodied in a mod sleoss t1s>
fore the British admiralty for son sser
| floating railway station, which IS p e.s4Et.
trains holding two thousand Hssef sers
| across at the rate of fourteet kaots m
hour.
Mr.. Justice Page was renowned fos rs
ferocity upon the bench. While 8Uiilg 9i
circuit, t:lcetious lawyer names tsf44sls
was asked if tsthe judge WIS siIasf
hind'' Il don't know sssR