Connecticut western news., 1880-08-18
WIT AND WISDOM.

vention together. ....
 MANY man has lost his temper and his way, through the meeting of crossroads.
 A TEXAS dog was born without a tail and he will sit down right beside an old kettle.
 THE man who spends all his money on 8 diamond shirt stud carries everything before him.
 THE Rome Sentinel says that an ali- gator laughs when it hears that beauty is only skin deep.
 AN OLD bachelor will shriek for bet ter half when counterfeit 50-cent piece is showed on him.
 A YOUNG man of society out making call may wear two watches and yet not know when it Is time to go home. "TM COMING, says tho Princess Iorne, "To thy arms, my dear mamaw, And leave behind this high-necked land This blamed Americaw."
 MIR. FLANAGAN (reading shop window announcement). "Pants for five dol lars Begorra, that's jist what oi pants for mesilf."
 WHEN Chinaman was saved from drowning by being pulled from the water by his pig-tail, he feebly murmured. "I thank queue." ...- A LITTLE girl, noticing the glittering gold filling in her aunt's front tooth, ex- claimed: "Aunt Mary, I wish had cop- per-toed teeth like yours. D
 A POOR brass band away from home one day can do more damage to town than twenty liberal, enterprising citizens of that place can repair in ten years.
 WHEN young man gets girl on each arm and walks like the fast mail up and down narrow sidewalk, it is time he was sent back to the asylum for an addi- tional six months.
 THE world is looking glass and gives back to every man the reflection of his own face. Frown at it and it will turn and look sourly upon you laugh at it and with it and it is & pleasant, kind companion.
 WHEN 0 man is prosperous it is easy for him to stop the mouth of conscience, to bribe or abuse it, to fill it with business, to outre it with temporal gaieties or to be fattered into weak opinions and sentences.
 l ATA New England summer resort. "Waiter," called snobbish guest, in his most imperious tone. "The gentle man will be here in moment," replied the head man, who wore eyeglasses and had the air of a professor.
 THE answer which M. de Calonne gave a lady who had petitioned for favor would make good maxim for @ young mans life: ". Madam" he raid, eff the thing is possible, it is done already; if it is impossible, it shall be done."
 THE only cure for indolence is work !; the only cure for unbelief is to shake off the ague of doubt by doing Christ's bid ding; the only cure for timidity is to plunge into some dreaded duty before the chill comes n.-Rettlertord.
 A WIT, speaking of an unpopular au- thor, said that he was blind. "How SO? What proof have you got of it ?" asked friend. "He always thinks his, literary productions are read, when everybody else knows they are not, wal ! the reply.
 NATURE seems to exist for the excel lent. The world is upheld by the verac- ity of good men. They make the world wholesome. Life Is sweet and tolerable in our belief in such society, and, ac-
 tually or ideally, we manage to live without superiors. -t.
 A GENERAL, sitting in front of hotel
 in time of war, heard newsboy crying his papers, Gall about the battle. The general bought a paper, but could not find the account of the engagement. Turning to the newsboy, he said: "I do not see any battle." "No," said the boy, "you never will if you sit here P THE REV. MIR. W paid his de- voirs to lady who was prepossessed in favor of MT. Psalter. Her partiality being very evident, the former took oc- casion to ask, in room full of company, "Pray, miss, how far have you got h
 your Psalter ?" The lady archly re- , piled, "As far as Blessed is the man. ''
 REV. DR. WooDs, of Andover, was once giving his class some instructions about preaching in such manner as to g gain attraction and applause. Young n gentlemen" said he, "it's all contained r. in nutshell. When you go to preach
 in the city, take your best coat; but when you go to preach in the country, 2 take your best sermon.
 - "WHY, BR1DaEr,' said her mistress, - who wished to rally the girl, for the I amusement of her company, upon the
 fantastic ornamenting of plate of but
 ter. "Why, Bridget, did you do this
 you're quite an artist how did you dc ! it?" "Indade, mum, it was myself that I did it, " replied Bridget "Isn't it prit' , tyImum? did it with your fine toott . comb, num-"
 8 A 1ovEhoRN swain broke a wishbone v with his "heart's queen" Meow, @ what d'you wish, Sally ?" demanded s Jonathan, with tender grin of expecta' - tion. "I wish I was hansum," replied v the fair damsel-" hansum as cud be. t "Gewitakers what wish," replied Jonathan, "when you're hanson huff l meow. But I'll tell you wh.t wished 3 Sally. wished you were locked up ir l my arms and the key lost!" THAT LETTER.-A letter addressed tc