Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1880-12-17
A MERRY MOURNER.
A lively Democratic Funeral Grafton

A Lively Democratic Funeral Grafton
The republicans of Clarinda, Page
county, Iowa had jollifcation meet
ing on Friday night the 9Th inst. Ac-
cording to the Council Bluffs Nonpd-
reH they had the biggest kind of a
time, with Examinations, fire works,
music and speechifying. After several
republican orators, among them Con
gre.sman-elect Hepburn, had given
vent TO their feelings with spread-ea-
gle speeches. The crowd called loud
" for Lou B. Cake. Cake is demo
crat, and the Nonpareil says he looked
too depressed to speak ?but the crowd
wouldn't be put off, so he mounted a
box and made the following unique
speech:
FRLLow CITIzESs:-A man usually
attends his own funeral, but it is not
expected that he should talk a great
deal. Laughter I knew the funer-
al ceremonies would 60 on without me,
40 included l had better bring in the
body. Laughter. But it takes
a good deal of grace to sus'
tain a man who help furnish the
corpse for an occasion like this.
Laughter Nobody but democrat
could do it. Applause. 1t is GER
tain that no one save the democrats
have had chance to try it for the last
twenty years Shouts and applause.
Disappointment is the modern demo
Gratis birthright, and mourninghis nor
NAL condition. They took out pa
tent on disaster twenty years ago and
it has never been infringed. The
patent run out in 1876 and they have
Just got it renewed. Looking over
the landscape Of the last twenty years,
behold acres and acres Of busted
hopes, cords and cords of disgruntled
ambitions, barrels and barrels of una
vailing tears, oceans end oceans strewn
with the wreck of phantom ships once
hardened with democratic decisions.
[Great applause. Disappointments
is an anchor to the democratic soul
both sure and s'eadfast.
Ieaves have their time to fall
And flowers to wither at the north winds
breath,
And stars to set, but all, 0, democrat
Thou hast all time for thine own death
>. II might say with Shylock, Suffer
ence, yea, suffr-ance is the badge O
our tribe. / could give you 500 rea
sons for this. Laughter. A lewye1
offered judge l6 reason why his eli
ent was not present in court. First
he was dead. The judge told hin
that he omit the other fifteen. Thu
first reason of my 1923 is we Lacked
the voters You will allow me t.
omit the other 32s. [Applausve con
s(ntl but !, I would give you NOR
than 329 reasons. Yea. Morey-y let
ter.s John Kelly did it with his littl
racket Great applause. Bel
Hampton's mule broke his leg instea'
of his neck and Ben Hill wasn't bor
amutc. English had foreclosed hi
mortgages and we couldn't redeem
Them
IT'S the south that can supply
II Solid comforts while we die.
I'm some states the greenback part
fell through crack in their platforr
and crippled us. Laughter. Bu
democracy still lives. Great az
plause. It is like the mule--it neve
dies. But unfortunately, like tn
mule, while it lives it is forever throw
ing its riders"
"It bucked Greedy of and kille
him. in 1872. Tilden stuck until Il
passed under the wire, Applause
But there was so much daylight b.
tween him and this democratic quat
fuped, the judges counted him out q
though he had his feet in the stirrup
This year we got q splendid send-o
and might have won, but the donke
was stricken down in Indiana with {:
Landsrs. [Applause.] We close tn
chapter of history with the hope I'll
story will not be continued in OF
next. q (Cheers.l We accept defe,
the moro cheerfully because of Il
magnanimous manner with which yo
take the victory. We take it eve,
four years. 1t is a standing prescri
tion. 1t might well be called II
.quadrennial ipecac. Groans.
works up before election, and worl
down as the returns come in. v
thank you for the magnanimous way
which you have turned out to our 1
neral. Applause.] We congratula
you on the magnificent and imposi
character of the obseguies." He
the speakers feeling overcame hi
and he retired amid encoring ear
quakes and applausive avalanches.