The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-04-01
Wit AND WISDOM.

spcrismen never object 10 banging
hare.
Leadville is overun with bankers
Faro.
Gracefully archel eyebrows, Gays tho
Boston Courier, are Beauty's triumphAl
arches.
Whom the gods would destroy they
first ill full Of confidence that it is not
loaded.
This world without woman-lovely
woman-would be like a blank sheet Of
paper-not even ruled.
Nature cannot stand everythipg.-
NtW Orleans Picayune. Trne; Colum.
bus had TO help her make the egg stand.
He wished his manuscript returned.
But failed in time b ask it,
And felt indignant when he learned
1t bad clim,d the golden basket.
The man who protests too much is al.
ways eIclaimins Now, buy my honor,
or Pawn me honor, rs il such things
we're easy to do.
John-'The philosophy Of a dogs run.
ming when a can is tied TO his tail, in.
stead Of biting the string OIL, is not very
clearly understood
II your son has no brains don't send
him to college. You cannot make a
palace out of o shaniy by putting a
French roof on it.
Doctors now say that boiled COWS milk
is net good for babies, it is better raw.
The doctors are right: a raw COW gives
better milk than q boiled one.
A correspondent writes to say that
nearly all the women he sees on the
streets appear to be rel enting in seal.
skin sacques and silk dresses.
A little fellow who was asked how
John the Baptist was clothed answered:
In coarse garments OF camel's hair
eight lccusts and wild honey
Young man, il it is IL o'clock and she
goes to the piano and plays a few bars of
The sweet BY and By you may cor
slider the seancc over the night.
Eyangeline Longfellow, don't you know,
Will be seventy. three in a day or TO-
Matches poet, I hope l may be
As young as you are at seventy-three.
'You may talk of the teauty OF the
pyramids said Miss Sociahle to a dis.
tiDguished traveller, but as for me give
me pyramids of ice cream at a supper
table.
Somebody discovers that it takes $780,
900, 900 a day to run tue world. II that's
30, we'll take the contract for one day
and forfeit ten per cant. of the money il
we fail.
Young Farmer-'N CO warm rain
brings things ont of the ground, won't
it p Reprehensible old widover-'Don't
mention it. I've got two wives there
already
The expression making your pile is
used to signify getting rich. The rec
son why so few get their pilo liz doubt
less because their are many more pile
drivers than piles.
Advice says au old man of much
experience, why, ] never had any ore
come to me for that article who, before
he got through, was not willing to give
ne twice as much as he asked for.
Cheap swell (loing tue grand) -'Haw
-waitaw-5ottle Of champagne Wal
ter yes, sir. Dry, sir2' Cloap Swell
WHATS it to you whether m dry or
whether 1 ANTI Bring the vine
A German writer proposes to execute
criminals by means OF an iron image OF
justice, with az electric battery in its
inside. The only serious oil seton is
that ugly habit Of ~Istice getting hold of
the wrong man and letting go Of the
right one.
Why am l made a sandwich said
young Snobson, plaintively, as a lady
sat down on either sile of him in the
horse car. 'Because we are better bred
than you are sad Que Of the damstls
sweetly, end Snobson mustered courage
to squeeze out to the platform.
Terrible vengeance of husband whose
wife has gone of with a hsndsomer man:
Dear sir, he writes, 'pleaqe hand the
i%pclosed set of false teeth to my late wife,
and ask her to be 80 good rs to return
my fathers, which in the hurry of the
moment she took by mistake
She banged her hair in the latest style,
And wore a dress Of black
And a pair of light ten-bultoned kiGs,
And a long black sealtkin sacque.
Her face was roughed, her eyes were blue,
Yet she stood as stsid rs a mummy;
But this was in front Of a dry goods store,
In fact, she was only a dummy
A Boston musical jouInal says young
musical persons should not pay the
piano OF home. We hop1 tho editor
doesn't want young musicil persons to
go around town with q piano on their
backs and hammer out a few tunes at the
street corners2 We prefer that they
should play it at home.
An army officer is retired when he
goes out of service, and a wheel is re-
tired TO go into service Rgain. When q
sheriff releases q prisoner no loses Dos
session Of him, and when no releases a