Western sentinel. [volume] (Winston [i.e. Winston-Salem], N.C.) 1856-1886, 1880-06-17
Saints, Crude and Manufactured.


Some time ago Congress in Its
wisdom placed heavy duty upon
Etruscan vases. This was designed
to protect American manufacturers
against the competition of Etrus-
cans. The patriotic western states
men who were determined that
those underpaid and everwofked
Etruscan potters should not be per
mitted to flood our market with the
products Of their cheap labor snest
have been somewhat astonished
when: they subsequently learned
that all the Etruscan potters have
been dead for several thousand years
and have therefore presumably
ceased the manufacture of vases.
Wicked people laughed at the states
men who wished to protect Ameri-
can manufactures of vases three
thousand years Old from the com
petition of dead men, and it was
supposed that the widest -protec-
zionist could not surpass this parti-
cular folly. A few days ago, how
ever, it was discovered that our
Custom-horse authorities regard
saints as dutiab!e, and tht Congress
has failed to place them Oh the free
list.
'Iu the cargo of a steamer which
reached here from Gibraltar was a
neatly finished saint, imported
from Italy and consigned to con
vent in Cincinnati. 1t may not be
generally known that saints are of
two classes-crude and manafact-
ured. The, crude saint consists
merely of few bones, and perhaps
small quantity Of teeth and hair.
In the manufactured saints these
bones are clothed with wax as q
substitute for flesh. To the latter
class belonged Saint DIsCoL1Us, and
no sooner was this saint landed here
than he was promptly seized by
the revenue officers, wuo held that,
although there is no duty on crude
saints, manufactured saints could
notpass through the Custom-house
free.
Why our Intelligent Govern
inent prohibits the free admission
Of saints is not very clear. Is it
with a view of protecting home
made saints against the pauper
saints of Europe? This seems
hardly probable, for the reason
that there are no American saints.
Perhaps a few. centuries hence we
may undertake the manufacture of
saints, and turn cut a few first
class articles of the kind, such as
Saint TILDEN or Saint BLAINE for
example, but so far not a single
saint of any kind has been manu-
factured here, nor has there been
the slightest effort to produce crude
saints. Who, then, is sought to be
protected by prohibiting the i'm
portation of manufactured saints
This is a question which the Secre-
tary of the Treasury would do well
to. answer without unnecessary
delay.
1t may be suggested that the
duty on manufactured saints is
levied to protect the medical pro-
fession. The chief business of a
saint is to work healing miracles
There are saints which have their
specialties- One saint is particu-
larly skillful in spine disease, and
another cures lameness er gon'
with rapidity and safety, and with
out the. use of any deleterioaI
drugs. Were there to be large
importation of The best class o
foreign saints our doctors nigh
find their practice seriously dimin-
ished, for if a man with paralyzet
legs can have them cured withou
a fee by merely touching a saint
he would be foolish and extrava,
giant to waste time and money il
consulting doctors. 1t may be tia
deputation of doctors has secare'
tire imposition OF duty on fhann
featured saints in order to say
themselves from sanity competi
ton. This sounds quite probable
! and we might adopt it as an expla
nation of a cariotls feature of on
, tariff were it not for the fact tina
crude saints are apparently oa til
free list al.
Now, a crude saint can worl
miracles precisely as we'll as
manufactured saint Some year
t ago an enterprising American
t while visiting the eatacembs {
q Rome, was shown. saint who We
guaranteed to work any reasenabl
amount of fair average miracle.
), The saint consisted merely Of a fe,
crumbling bones, and the wieke
American, watching his epportu
nifty, secured good double-handf'
of saint, bringing it away with hil
!, in his handkerchief. On landin
u in New York. he found no difficult
an bringing his saint Through IL
e Custom House, since it was obz
r ouAy in a crude state, and arriviE
n - l,o,,o ho d;e,,louaS ;f on n