Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1880-08-19
The Ploneer o. La rarte.

ibbls Nhilel HitsrWaTu kuHhu as La
Porte found him the sole phabitant.
He had subsisted for thrce months on
two biscuits a day aud few inches of
bacon, in hut made Of barland brush
wood. Yet when the explorers found
him he was quite alert, hopefm aud gem
tlemanly. But | cheerfullg make way
here for the terser narrative pf Captain
Henry Symes, commandip the pros
pecting pTrty: 1--WE KEN dpo,I him.
gentlemen, suddent-liSe, Just abreast OF
rock like this,u demonstrating the
distance--''ez near ez You be. He sees
I us and he dives into his cabin and comes
/ out agin with tall hat--a stovepipe,
gentlemen-and, blank me, gloves! He
/ was a tall, thin feller, holer in the
cheek--ez might be--and Of color in
| his face, ez was nat raj, ta5in' in ac-
count his starvation grub, But he lifts
his hat jess so, and SEE he: Happy to
make your acquaintance, gentlemenl
I'm afraid you experienced some diff
/ Guilty in getting here. Take cigyar'
( And he pulls out fancy cigar-oase with
/ two real Havanas in il. Il wish there
was more,' sez he.
"'Ye don't smoke yourself, sez L.
"'Seldom,' sez he, which war lie, for
that very afternoon seed him hangin'
onto a short pipe like suckin' baby
onto bottle. Il kept these cigyars for
any gentlemen that might drop in
"'I reckon ye see great deal o the
best society har,' seq Bill Parker, starin
at the hat an gloves and winkin' at the
boys.
"'A few Indians occasionally sez
he.
"'Injinsr seq we.
"'Yes. Very quiet, good fellows in
their way. They have once or twice
brought me game. which ! refused, as
the poor fellows have had pretty hard
time of it themselves
Now, gentlemen, we was, ez you
know, rather quiet men rather peace
able men; but-hevin' been shot at three
times by these var good lnjins, and
Parker hisself havin' a matter Of three
inches of his own skelp lying loose in
their hands and he walkin' round
wearin' green leaves on his head like u
Roman statoo lit did kinder seem ez If
this yer stranger was playin' rather low
down on the boys. Bill Parker gets up
and takes survey o him, and says he,
peaceful-like:
a. Ye say these yer Injuns these
yer quiet Iniuns offered yer gameP'
"'They did!' sez he.
"'And you refoosedp
"'I did, sez he.
"'Must hev made EN- feel kinder bad
--sorter tortered their sensitiy' naters?'
sez Bill
They really seemed quite disap-
pointed.
".In course sez Bill. And now
mout ask who be youP'
-" Excuse me- says the stranger;
and, darn my skin! if he didn't hist out
keerd case, and handin il over to
Billy, sez, Here's my kyard'
"Bill took it and read out aloud, j.
Trott, Kentucky
Its pooty keed,' SEE Bill.
"'pm glad you like it, says the
stranger
al reeken the other fifty-one of the
deck ez as pooty-all of 'em Jacks and
left bowers. sez Bill.
1.-The stranger sez nothin' but kinder
draws back from Bill, but Bill ups and
sez:
"'Wot is your little game, Mr.. J.
Trott, of Kentuckyp
80 don't think | quite understand
you sez the stranger, a holler fire com
in into his cheeks like or If they wa'
the bowl of pipe.
"'Wot's this yer kid-gloye businessl
this yer tall hat paradin' P--this yei
circus foolin'p Wot's il all about
Who are ye, anyway?'
"rhe stranger stands up and sez he
'Ez don't quarrel with the guests OF
my own land sez he, 4 think you'll
allow Tina gentleman, sez he.
with that he takes off his tall ha
and makes low bow, so, and turn
away--like this; but Bin lites out of
suddent with his right foot and drive
his No, ten boot clean through tn
crown of that tall hat like one o then
circus hoops.
That's about ez fur ez l remember
Gentlemen! thar warn't but one man o
that hull crowd ez could aetooally swea
what happened next and that man neve
told. For kind o. whirlwind Jest thel
took place in that valley. l disremem
Der anythin' but dust and bustlin'
Thar wasn't no yellin', thar WASH n
shootin' Ii was one o them sudden
things that left even siX-shooter on
in the cold. When | KEN to in III
chapparel-being uncomfortable lik
from hevin' only half a shirt on
found nigh on three pounds o. grave
and stones in my pockets and stiffness
in my ha'r, looks up and sees Bil
hangin' in the forks of hickory saplin
twenty feet above me.
- Cap, sen he, in an inquirin' way
'hez the tornado passedP
'WhichP sell.
'"This yer elemental disturbance
is il over?
g i reckon, SEE !.