davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
Errors Of Type and Telegraph.

Lately some one attempted to say that
critics asserted Rubil stein was not a
correct player. The printers corrected
the slur by saying he was not 'csrnet-
plsyer'-which is probably true. Anoth-
er, essaying to describe certain person
age as ''the great am Of local matters
found that he was ''the great ga. NJ
a Dreadful charge, if somewhat vague.
According to veracious Western paper,
one editor was Mortified by finding "The
Death of an Angel Worm" heading an
obituary instead Of the decorous "Death
of an Aged Woman" The rascally truth
seeker had its name set up ''Turtle-Seek-
er,'' recently-which was severe joke
tor the turtles. Once paragraph be-
ginning "Mlss Dickinson'(meaning the
eloquent Anna), appeared with the auspic-
ious start OF 'The dlbursion," which nat
urally made the subsequent remarks
somewhat confused. But the telegraph
makes as amusing blunders as the type.
A sentence of Lord Carnarvon's essay On
sermons, at recent Anglican Diocesan
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
Suicide Of the Scorpion.

Mr.. Allen Thomson in letter says:
While residing many years ago during
the summer months at the baths of
Lucca, in Italy, in a somewhat damp
locality, my informant, together with
the rest of the family, was much an
noyed by the intrusion of small black
scorpions into the house, and their be-
ing secreted among the bedclothes, in
shoes, and in other articles of dress. It
thus became necessary to be constantly
on the watch for these troublesome
creatures, and to take means for their
removal and destruction.
Having been informed by the natives
of the place that the scorpion would
destroy itsefif exposed to sudden light,
my informant and her friends soon be-
came adopts in catching the scorpions
and disposing of them in the manner
suggested. This consisted in combining
the animal under an inverted drink
ing glass or tumbler, below which
card was inserted when the capture was
made, and then, waiting till dark, sud-
denly bringing the light of candle
near to the glass in which the animal
was confined. No sooner was this done
than the scorpion invariably showed
signs of great excitement, running
round and round the interior of the
tumbler with reckless velocity for
number of times.
This state having lasted for minute
or more, the animal suddenly became
quiet, and, turning its tail or the hinder
part of its body over its back, brought
it's recurved sting down upon the mid
die of the head, and, piercing it quite
forcibly, in few seconds became quite
motionless, and, in fact, quite dead.
This observation was repeated very
frequently; in truth, it was adopted as
the best plan of getting rid of the ami
mails, and the young people were in the
habit of handling the scorpions with
IMMUNITY Immediately after they were
SO killed, and of preserving many OF
them as curiosities.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25

to you, or trified with any of my young
tlock2',
"He is certainly trying to with Jessie,
sir"
so, Frank, how can you say so5" cried
Jessie, her face aflame, her eyes sparkling
Indignantly. "He is a perfect gentle
man." she added turning to the minister,
s'and know all about him, and mean to
tell Frank, after having a little fun.
Why, he has been married year to a
most beautiful girl. He told mamma,
after we had become little acquainted,
that he married her just alter he gradu-
ated, because she was alone, and had no
friends or protector. He is now study
ing day and night to get admitted to the
bar, and he is anxious to bring his wife
here; that is why he was looking at the
little cottage, as it has few rooms fur
nished. Now you have the whole mys-
terry
''You might have told us before!" cried
Frank, with a scarlet face. "You, too,
Deacon Tufts, ought to be ashamed OF
your conduct, for of course you knew it"
"To be sure 1 did. Didn't I answer
all your questions, young lady2 thought
I would let you run on awhile, and get
all the nonsense out of you. The master
has made no particular secret of his mar
rage, that know of, neither has he pro-
CLAIMED 1t from the house-tops. Maybe
he ought to- don't know. You knew
he was married, jester
o, yes, knew it. He showed mother
his wife's photograph. and it seems she
can teach botany and conchology and
music. She can help him great deal if
she comes here"
Then the minister read Frank and the
girls short lesson, ending with these
words:
when you are old enough and wise
enough to have homes Of your own, you
will wait till some worthy man throws
out the line and catches you. And 1 ana
sure you will find in the young woman
coming beautiful, discreet and lovable
companion; and although none of you
have caught the schoolmaster, you ought
to catch many wise lesson from his
manly, modest demeanor, as wei as from
his instruction from the desk
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
His Name Was Smith.

In the grammar department of one OF
our public schools, few days since,
the teacher, after talking with her class
on the subject of mythology, read to
them as follows:
"Vulcan, smith, architect and chariot
builder for the gods of Mount Olympus,
built their houses, constructed their
furniture" etc.
The following day the subject of the
preceding day was given as language
lesson, and, as no mention was made of
Vulcan, the teacher asked the class
who built the houses for the gods on
Mount Olympus? For a while the
children seem lost in profound thought,
when suddenly CLEAN of intelligence
illumined the face of one little girl, and
she replied:
Il can't think of his first name, but
his last name is Smith l"-Bosto7a
transcript,
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
RetribuGOn.

A quietly dressed lady passed down
the aisle of a crowded car, looking for
seat. Presently she came to one occupied
ny finely-dressed young woman who
sat directly in the middle of it, talking
to friend in the seat before her. The
young lady looking for a seat said very
politely, us this seat engaged2" The
young woman, without offering to move
along, or rise to let her pass, said, in a
careless and exasperating tone, looking
impudently in her face, "No. Do you
want to come in?" Offended by her
tone and manner, the lady blushed with
displeasure and passed on. By this
time a gentleman acquaintance had
found her q seat, which she accepted.
"Did you hear how that woman an
swered me?" she said, Indignantly.
"I could not have believed that one of
my own sex would be SO rude. And
the best of it is I know her by name,
and, if she had known who I am, she
would have been very polite to me.
She is enamored of my cousin, and is
doing her best to secure him as hus-
band. lam afraid she has made mis-
take in not being civil" Mark the Sc
quel: The young lady during the day
joined her cousin, and in the evening
they were returning home on the train,
when in came the other young woman,
and, at once catching sight of the young
gentleman as she entered the door,
smiles wreathed her codutenance. He,
not knowing what had happened. rose
and saluted her cordially, and at once
introduced her to his companion. Why
did she turn pale, then red? She sim
ply saw what fool she had been, and,
if she failed to see the Unreasonable
depth of her folly, it was revealed to
her when, afterward, the favorite cousin
of the man she wanted for sweetheart
said coolly to her, 81 noticed you on
the train this morning." There was no
longer any doubt that she had been
recognized, and that her rudeness
would be reported to the ears to which
of all others she desired it MT to come.
So, you see, If you are not polite from
principle, it is well to be so from
policy. The man or woman who is in
variably civil and obliging need fear no
awkward adventures like this one.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
De Musset And The Dogs.

Alfred De Musset always declared that
he hated dogs, for the reason that twice
in his life an animal of the canine race
had come within an ace of wrecking his
fortunes.
The first time was at royal hunting
party, when the poet, Louis Philippe s
guest, when bird was flushing, fred
hastily, and sent the Citizen-King's fav-
orite pointer to meet Cerebus.
The second time was when, candi-
date for the Academic, De Muaset went
to pay the customary visit to an influen-
tial Immortal whose chateau was in the
environs at Paris.
At the moment that the poet rang at
the gate, an ignoble whclp of incredible
ugliness, covered with mud, rushed to
meet him with joyous barks, and fawned
upon him to the detriment of the poets
new pantaloons.
Disguised as De Musset was, 1t would
have been perilous to drive of the I'm
mortals faithful dog, so he was COM
PEELED to let the trightful animal lick
his hands, cover him with caresses and
mud, and precede him to the drawing
room.
A moment later the Academician en-
tered. DeMusset noticed MS embarass-
ment, at which he was not surprised con-
sidering the behavior of the animal.
They adjourned to the dining-room fol-
lowed by the dog, which, after giving
vent to his delight by various gambols
and cries, placed two muddy paws on
the table, seized the wing of cold chick
en-, and began contentedly to devour it.
That's the most abominable brute I
ever heard Of" thought DeMusset, and
continued aloud, "You are fond of dogs,
1 see"
"Fond of Dogs" echoed the Immortal
II hate dogs
"But this animal here?"
II have only tolerated the beast because
it is yours, sir!"
''Mine!" said DeMusset; II thought
it was yours, which was all that prevent
ed me from kllliug him"
The two men roared with laughter,
and DeMusset made friend.
Late that day ayellow dog crossed the
! frontier of she Rhine at Strasbury with
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
Astonishing Faith.

Once upon time, years 60, plain
Mr.. Disraei was in Leeds, and he was
waited upon by the Secretary of GER
tain institution in that town, who asked
him to give a lecture or an address. He
first made several excuses, then refused
utterly, and at last, being further
pressed, said: "Well, I will come and
give you an address this time ten years"
With that assurance the Secretary went
away and waited. The ten years rolled
along, and at their expiration he came
to London, sought and obtained an in
terview with the Premier, reminded
him of his promise, and claimed its full
fillment. The great man had, of course,
forgotten all about the matter, but when
it was brought to his recollection he
again made polite excuses, pointed out
that circumstances in the meantime
had greatly changed, and that he had
other duties to attend to now. But the
Secretary was an old-fashioned man;
he had the curious and obsolete idea
that a promise was a promise, and
ought to be carried out, and said as
much. "And did you really believe at
that time," said his Lordship, that I
should carry out that promise?" Ger
tainly," was the reply, i" if you were still
alive and able to do it." "Well," said
the Premier, in a musing tone, cit is
truly astonishing what faith people
have in me-" He did not deliver the
lecture, and is still, therefore, consid-
cred to have broken his word by the
Secretary of the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
letter.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
HOUSEHOLD ECONOMY.

To REMOVE DANDRUFF.-Wash the
hair thoroughly in rain water, with
good deal of borax dissolved in it.
PUMpK1N-P1E MADE OF SQUASH
Take a good-sized crooked-necked
squash, one-quarter of pound of but
ter to milk-pan of squash. Sweeten
to taste. A bottle of cream; one quart
of milk, unless too thin. Season with
mace, little nutmeg, brandy and rose
water. One dozen eggs and little
salt-eggs beaten.
A CURE FOB STAMMERNG.-A CORE
spondent says: Go into room where
you will be quiet and alone; get some
book that will interest but not excite
you, and read for two hours aloud,
keeping your teeth together. Do the
same thing every two or three days, or
once a week, if very tiresome, always
taking care to read sloUly and dis
tioactly, moving the lips, but not the
teeth.
A NICE D1sH.-Two eggs, one pintof
milk, bakers bread-as it is more
porous into thin slices; dip the
bread into the batter and fry each side
brown in butter. Then boil one cup of
sugar in two cups of water, and, after
adding vanilla or lemon favoring, pour
over the bread, and cover dish so as to
steam and keep hot. It is well to re-
serve part of the sauce to put on each
slice when serving.
To MAKE Rock CAKEs.-Break six
eggs in basin, beat them till very
light; add one pound of pounded sugar,
and when this is well mixed with the eggs
dredge in gradually half pound of
flour; add q few currants. Mix all well
together, and put the dough with fork
on the baking -tin, making it look as
rough as possible. Bake the cakes in a
moderate oven for half an hour. When
done allow them to cool, and store
them away in tin canister in dry
place.
To SOFTEN HARD WATER.-Take two
pounds of washing soda and one pound
of common lime, and boil in five gal
Ions of water for two or three hours;
then stand away to settle, and dip of
the clear water from the top and put in
to a Jug. Can be used for washing
dishes or cleaning, and one teacupful in
boiler of clothes, put in after the water
is hot, will whiten the clothes and soften
the water, without injury to the hands
or clothes. I use an old iron pot to
make it in.
SWEET PoTAro PUDDNa.-Ingredi-
ents: Two pounds of raw sweet potato,
half pound of brown sugar, one-third of
pound of butter, one gill of cream,
one grated nutmeg, small piece of
lemon-peel, and four eggs. Boil the
potato well and mash thoroughly, pass
ing it through colander; while it is
warm mix III sugar and butter; beat
eggs and yelks together, and add when
the potato is cold; add tablespoonful
of sifted -four; mix in the grated
lemon-peel and nutmeg very thoroughly;
butter a pan, and bake twenty-five min
utes in a moderately hot oven. May be
eaten with wine sauce.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
An Acadian COurtShip.

The wooipg must be done at balls, or
in the presence of the family. Flirting
being impractcable, it is always under
stood that the wooer means marriage,
and consequently he eagerly avails him
self of the few privileges deemed by the
rural Mrs. Grundy consistent with the
properties. These usually begin with
prancing, caracoling and racing his
horse on the road in front of his
"belle's" dwelling-place. He repeats
the performance as often as possible,
and enjoys it immensely. The more
spectators, the greater his delight. The
sweets of courtship are necessarily ex-
pended on the old folks. Macaboy
snuff, la vanille, bottle of anisette,
etc, for maman, go far toward making
the course of true love run smooth.
With the old gentleman, tact at losing
half-aimes at play is equally effective,
always provided the lover comes under
that comprehensive descriptive "bon
garcon." While thus counting the par
ents, he avails himself of every oppor-
tunity to make Sweet eyes" at the
daughter, and, after few weeks of such
wooing, proposes. The ballroom is
generally the place; when the pleasur-
able excitement of the waltz has reached
its climax, while her slender waist is en-
circled by his arm, and her head almost
leans upon his shoulder, then comes the
opportunity. If the coy maid favors his
suit, he instantly seeks the approval of
her parents. With that, one might
think the affair settled. But no; he
must obtain the permission of the nu-
merous relatives of the bride lsct, even
to the cousins, who may be Of 10 spec
ial importance. Dressed in his nat
test suit, he proudly Frances round on
the grand tour, and formally asks the
consent of each in turn.-"The Acddi-
ans IN louisiana" in Scribner.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
Such AN Unreasonable Doctor.

One of our leading physicians was
recently aroused at night by frightful
knocking at his door. Sticking his
head out of the window, he asked what
was the matter.
ooh, doctor, it is my poor wife!"
Il beg your pardon, but I haven't
the honor of your acquaintance, and 1
am not accustomed"
II know it, doctor, but her life is at
stake. If you only knew how much I
love her! For Heavens sake, I beg
your And he went on for a considera-
BILE time in this fashion, until the doc
tor relented, in spite of the cold winter
night. He dressed himself, went out,
waded far through the snow, prescribed
and saved the cherished woman. Sew
eral DAYS passed, and, hearing nothing
of any pay, he sent in his bill. Moth
ing. Then he sent collector. The
devoted husband greeted the dun with
anger, exclaiming:
"Go to the devil. The idea OF my pay
ing that bill for woman who has since
run off with another man!"-Nea0 Or
leans P5cayaA7ae.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
WOMAN GOSSIP.
Wouldn't You

Wouldn't You?
He told me my face was the fairest
And purest he ever had known;
The bobolink envied my singing,
The nightingale mimicked its tone;
My dimples they quarreled with cherries,
Just under eyes tender and blue;
My tresses they angered the sunbeam
half disbelieved-wouldn't your
He told me my fingers were dainty,
My lips only nodded to kiss,
And would give one of the sweetest
For such poor bauble as thisi"
Maybe 1 shouldn't have done it,
But ne looked SO pleading and true,
The ring was SO pretty-I took it,
And gave him the kiss-wouldnt your
He told me there was a dear cottage
just down near the rocks by the sea,
Where sweet roses nodded welcome,
And mocking-b birds waited for me,
With himself. of course, for the master
Twas made plenty large for us two;
forgot what said, but I'm thinking
kissed him again-wouldnt you'll
ELBA, Wis. LYDIA r. HIFMAs
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25

Conference. was thus dispatched: "The
worst paid country curate is expected to
preach twice on Sunday with the per-
suavsieness of a journeyman tailor, and
the eloquence of barrow" For ''iour-
ueyman tailor read Jeremy Taylor" and
initia "harrow with capstal letter, and
all is right.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
THE PARTING WORD.
BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.

BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES.
mnst leave thee, lady sweet
Months shall waste before we meet;
Winds are fair. ard sails are spread,
Anchors leave their ocean bed;
Ere this shining day grow dark,
Skies shall grid my shoreless bark;
Through thy tears, o, lady mine,
Read thy lovers parting line.
When the first sad sun shall set,
Thou shalt tear thy locks Of jet;
When the morning star shall rise,
Thou shalt wake with weeping eyes;
When the second sun goes down,
Thou more tranquil shall be grown,
Taught too well thy wild despair
Dims thine eyes and spoils thy hair.
All the first unquiet week
Thou shalt wear smileless cheek;
In the first months second half
Thou shalt once attempt to laugh;
Then in Pickwick thou shalt dip,
Slightly pickering round the lip,
Till at last, in sorrows spite,
Samuel makes thee laugh outright.
While the first seven mornings last.
Round thy chamber bolted fast,
Many a youth shall fume and pout,
"Hang the girl, she's always outr
While the second week goes round,
Vainly shall they ring and pound;
When the third week shall begin,
martha, let the creature in"
Now once more the flattering throng
Round thee flock with smile and song;
But thy lips unweaned as yet,
Lisp, 90 how can forget"
Men and devils both contrive
Traps for catching girls alive;
Eve was duped, and Helen kissed
How. 0, how can you resist!
First be careful of your fan;
Trust it not to youth or man;
Love has filled pirates sail
Often with its perfamed gale.
Mind your kerchiefs all;
Fingers touch when kerchiefs fall;
Shorter ell than MERGERS clip
Is the space from hand to lip.
Trust not such as talk in troops,
Full OF pistols, daggers. ropes,
All the hemp that Russia bears
Scarce would answer lovers prayers;
Never thread was spun so fine,
Never spider stretched the line,
Would not hold the lovers true
That would really swing for you.
Fiercely some shall storm and swear,
Beating breasts in black despair;
Others murmur with sigh,
You must melt, or they will die;
Painted words on empty lies,
Grubs with wings like butterflies;
Let them die in welcome too;
Pray, what better could they do?
Fare thee well! If years efface
From thy heart loves burning trace
Keep, o, keep thy hallowed seat
From the tread of vulgar feet.
If the blue lips of the sea
Wait with icy kiss for me,
Let not thine forget the VOW,
Sealed how often, love as now!
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25

A MAN of bad reputation was COM
planning to the writer that a certain
person had ruined his character. $50
much the BETTER" replied the writer,
"for it was very bad one, and the
sooner it was destroyed, the more to
your advantage"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25

the air of an animal that had scored up
on the tablets of its memory decidedly
unpleasant recollection, and headed for
Constantinople with unfinished celer-
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25

GERMAN MILK SoUP.-One quart
milk, one pint. water, one-half teaspoon
full sugar, one-half teaspoonful salt, SIX
slices OF Scent wheat loaf.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25

An exchange says it is wrong to tell a
man he lies. 1t depends, however, on
the size Of the man.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25

ty sure none of them are from O. sweet
heart"
"Maybe he's got a sister,"
"He has, and a mother, too. His SIS
ter is married, and the mother is with
her"
"Oh, but then what does he want to
hire the brown cottage forl' 9ueried a
quiet little girl. "Father has it to let,
you know; it seems to me 1 heard him
say the schoolmaster wanted it for his
family"
"Absurd!" exclaimed Frank.
At this the postmaster laughed aloud.
eff he's engaged, he's mean enough"
said Frank, with warmth. ''The idea of
his coming here under false pretenses-"
"Did he ever tell any body he was not
engaged9" asked the deacon.
81 don't know as he did, and I am sure
I don't care if he's engaged to a dozen
girls! If he's conceited enough to think
l do, will soon undeceive him."
1t was always self with the foolish girl.
Her undue consciousness had led her In
to trouble more than once.
"Hush, Frank, there's Mr. Evans
hope he didn't hear u.s." said Jessie, as
the tall figure of the clergyman entered.
who caress If you suppose 1 am
afraid of the minister you are mistaken"
she added, boldly walking up to him,
heated with temper and chsgrin.
"Mr. Evans you are one of the school
committee" she said with the assurance
of business matron of forty. "Will you
please tell US what is the mystery about
the teacher you have employed for the
winter"
"Mystery-mysteryr' said Mr.. Evans
looking at her in surprise. "Really Miss
Frances, have never heard that there
was any mystery about him.
swell, there is and I think it ought to
be cleared up. Taxpayers ought to
know what kind of men come into our
midst, especially when he has charge of
their daughters.
"He came v 18th the best recommends
tions, and the minister, was more anG
more surprised.
"Well, sir, the deacon declares he is
not engaged to be married, and yet he is
looking for house IN which to live, 1
understand, and he is at the same time
playing the free young gentleman among
u.s."
"Has he showed any special attention