The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1880-03-10
The. HOg's Weight.


to by conductor of the C.. P. r, R
to have happened on that road tn
other night, and we print it for nothing
else than to show how these railroad
men impose on guileless journalists:
We were passing Reno about mid
night, said the official referred to, ant
the passengers were all trying to get I
sitting-up nap-there were no sleeper
on that train-when the door opened
with loud crash, and a new passenger
hustled on board. He was big, noisy
sort of man, and after half freezing
everybody by keeping the door oper
while he roared goodbye to some people
at the station, he came pumping dowr
the aisle and crowded himself into {
vacant half seat. After that, he jumped
up and began sticking lot of parcels
and traps into the racks, in doing which
he managed to lean over and crowc
against everybody for six seats around
Then he took off his hat, coughec
loudly, rubbed his hands cheerfully
and then, turning to the much-disgusteC
passenger next the window, he ex
claimed, in a breezy voice:
"Good evening, stranger-howd'y
Taking a few winks, eh?"
The man addressed scowled beneath
his rundown hat-brim, but pretended
not to hear.
Il say, stranger" continued the
cheerful man, with another nudge, 81
killed hog to-day, and what do yor
think he weighed?"
The sleepy man grunted his disap.
probation of the interruption, but snoreC
on.
II say" repeated the other, shouting
in his ear. "Come, just give a guess
What dye s'pose he weighed"
"Why the deuce can't you let fellow
alone?" snapped the victim, turning
over in the seat. "Blame your hog!"
"Oh, come; don't get crusty. Just
give one guess-only one" pleaded tie
persistent newcomer.
"How should l know what your hog
weighed?" said the other, impatiently
Three hundred pounds, likely"
"Oh, no! Guess again." said the
man, earnestly, raising his voice and
nudging his neighbor more vigorously
than ever. "Come, now-guess again.
"Well, 400 then-and now dry up!'
said the sufferer, angrily.
"Oh, dear, no. Guess again"
Five hundred pounGs!'' roared the
exasperated passenger, gradually sitting
up and glaring at his disturber with
much bitterness.
"Oh. no! Guess again." replied the
hog man, or man hog, who had now
rested his head on the back of the seat
pulled down his hat, and began tc
yawn.
"Six hundred" shouted the awakened
man, with sarcastic emphasis.
"No-o-o Guess a-g-a-l-n,'
to sleep.
"Seven hundred, then," put in mar
on the next seat in front, for by this
time the whole car-full was awake, and
all nervously incapable of going tc
sleep again until this conundrum was
answered.
moo. G-u-e-s-s-a-g-a-i-n," came
still more dreamily from the proprietor
of the rebus.
Eight hundred!" yelled man from
the other end of the car.
But the hog-killer was asleep, and
did not respond.
"I say" roared the first martyr,
shaking the disturber of the public
peace savagely by the arm. "wake up
here!'
"W-h-a-tp" murmured the new
conner. drowsily; "w-h-a-t sayp
"Wake up here, you incendiary Old
fraud" shouted several, and tell Us
what your blame hog weighedw
"Eh? What? Where am 1P" said
the slumberer, waking up slowly in re.
sponse to the combined shaking OF hal
a dozen determined men. "What or
earth's the matter? What do you want
gentlemen?"
"Whatp Why, we want to know
what that blame hog you have beer
disturbing the whole car about weighed
any how?"
"HogP Hog? What! Oh, yes!
remember now. Well, I really dom
know. gentlemen; didn't weigh him.
And If ne hadn't ridden the rest of tht
way in a baggage.car they'd have assas
sinated him in cold blood.-San Fran
cisco Post.