The Portland daily press., 1880-09-04
Nasby.
The Trouble in the Democratic Camp and
How Mr.. Nasty Settled It.
Toledo Blade.l

Toledo Bladel
GOVERNORS ISLAND,
(Wich is in the State nv Moo York;
August %, 1880.
Yesterday wuz the most eggscitin time we
ever had on the Island. 1 hey bin in many
tite place in my life, but never in so tite one
ez this. 1t wuz a close time when 1 deserted
the louisiana pelikins and wuz bein shot at by
the pelinkins from behind land. the Fedraldfrum
the front, wich is the normal condishun Nv a
Northern Dimekrat, and wuz in some trub-
BILE when wuz President NV the Unlimited
Trust and Confidence Company, and wuz pur-
sood by infooriated mob, but them escapes
pale into insignifcance compared with wat
nudergoed Yesterday.
1t wuz the day we set apart, Hancock and
me, to reserve delegashuns, wich we do wunst
week. This is alluz our tryin day, and hev
to be in Gineral Hancock's room to assist him.
He is very much in need NV statesman and
serve him in that capasty.
The delegashuns come all to-wunst, and
there wuz purity mix. The fust that got aw.
lence wuz frum Injeanny.
The cheerman remarkt that his devoshun to
Dimocrisy and his admirashun NV Ginral Han
cock, our standard bearer, wuz sublime. He
pieged Inleany to the nominee, by very
large majority, onless our frends1in Kentucky
disappint us, wich they wood not. But he
came to lay before the President that is to be,
the vews NV the Dimocrisy nv Inieany show
in wat Dimocrisy is in that State. Wat the
Dimocrisy Nv Inieany wanted wuz totle de-
struction NV the nashnel banks, and an on
limited ishoo NV greenbax by the Genral Guv-
ernment. The Dimocrisy NV Inieany, ez wun
man, demanded fat money, and all they wantid
NV it.
The Ginral remarkt that he hednt he'd time
to give much attenshun to the question Nv f.
nance, but he he'd no dowt that the Injeany
polisy wuz the correct thing. He pleged his
self, if elected, to devote sum spar afternoon to
the study Nv finance, and he'd no dowt NV his
dom the right thing.
The Moo York delegashun remarkt that they
he'd word to.say ez to wat Dimocrisy wuz
Dimocrisy in Moo York ment gold basis, and
the continyooance NV the nashnel banks, and
no fiat money. Fiat money ment repoodia-
shun, rooin-
The Inieany man remarkt that he'd be dam
ef any blotid bondholder wich he'd got rich off
the labor NV the boundin West shood dictate
they must cum to Injeany's lice.
The Moo Yorker retorted that no Injeany re-
poodiashunist shood dictate to the Dimocrisy
Nv Moo York.
Ginral Hancock remarkt that or be he'd sed
afore, he hednt given the subjict that keerful
attenshun wich its importance demands, but
The Pennsylvania delegashun broke In, Wat
the Dimocrisy NV Pennsylvania wanted and
must hey wuz high pertective tariff, and
without it
Ginral Hancock remarkt that he he'd never
given the tariff question any attenshun, but ez
soon ez he got thro with nashnel bankin and
finance, after the eleckshun, he wood study it.
He he'd alreddy procoored the nessary books on
the subjick.
The lllinoy delegashun swore that they wood
hev no tariffs. Dimocrisy ment free trade, and
no graspin monopolists shood cum here in the
name of Dimocrisy, and
Teers wuz film the Giurars eyes when in
terfered. 1t wuz high time, for ther wuz six
more delegashuns to speek, all from diffrent
parts NV the kentry, and 1 foresaw wat terri
Die seeson ther wood be eff oil wuznt pored onto
the trubled waters
Gentlemen" sed /, "a word ef you pleese,
in seeson. You are all, dowtless, good Dime
krats, but yoo aint none Nv 700 got the proper
noshun Nv wat Dimocrisy reeIy duz mean.
Dlmocrisy is q comprehensive word, and xiv
ers CRATE deal Of ground. Our Injeany friend
wants unlimited money-he may cherish his
noshun and still be good Dimekrat. Our
Moo York friend wants hard money-he shel
cherish his beleef The Ginral and me hev no
objeckshuns. Likewise ez to the tariff and
free trade. There is room for all, and plenty
to spare for all other beleefs.
But the primary, central, controllin lice NV
Democrisy is Post Offs That is the central
sun-the great inspirin iiee, wich swallers up
and browns out all the rest. For twenty long
yeers we hev bin fastin, with the Government
graneries in full view, and it is time to put
an end to it. Watts a tariff compared to our
holdin the puss-strings Nv the nashun? Wat is
the tariff question ez compared with custom
houses and furrin mishuns? Ginral Hancock
may not be learned on these questions, but he
knows enuff to sine his name to commishuns
and that is the fast rekisit NV Dimekfatic
President.
We are perfeckly willin that yoo shell hey
yoor differences, but in the interest NV the
Post Otis We wood sejest that yoo defer any
menshun NV EN- till after the eleckshun. Then
the Ginral and me are perickly willin that VOC
shell fite over em all you choose. 1t will then
be a matter ov perfck indifference wat DIM
ocrisy meens. Possibly, when each NV VOC
you will be able to see things diffreEt, and
these questions won't look so important to VOC
ez they do now.
Wat the Dimocrisy wants is success We
want the Post Offises and the other places
Prinsiple Is nifty good thing to talk about.
but PosT OFFIs is the end we are aimin at.
Gentlemen, go home. Advocate in your
respective localities whatever polisy will git
the most votes, and when we hev cast anchor
in the harbor nv success, and we hev the
froots Nv victry safely hived, there will be
time enough to discuss these trifiin matters
Let our watchwoyd be everywhere, Hancock
and post ofis!' F"
The little speech had the desired effeck, for
evry man NV them realized the fact that he
Good never git smell luv place under any
body but Hancock, and evry one NV EN- pock-
eted his platform, and all agreed that / he'd
presentid the matter in a statesmanlike way
Likewise evry man Nv EN- conceded with
Ginerel Hancock's views ON the leedin ishoos
that he'd bin menshuned and pledged him
their harty support
It's great thing to be a statesman.
pFTROTrJrM NAsuv