The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1880-07-17
A NEW HAT AND AN OLD CHEESE.

Probably the mcanest trick that was
ever played on a white man was played
last week in this city, and the fact that
there is no vigilance committee here is
the only reason that the perpetrators OF
the trick are alive. a business man had
just purchased a new stiff hat and he
went into saloon with half a dozen
friends to fit the hat on his head. They
all Took beer and passed the hat around
so all could see it. One Of the mcanest
men that ever held 4 country Office went
to the bartender and had thin slice of
Limburger cheese cut of, and when the
party we're looking at the frescoed cell
Ing t.if5Ash bct--glasses this wicked per-
son slipped the cheese under the sweat
leather Of the hat, and the man put il on
and walked out. The man who owned
the hat is one of your nervous people
who is always complaining Of being sick
and who feels as though some dreadful
disease was going To take possession OF
him and carry him off. lie went back
to his place Of business, took of his ha,
and laid il ON the table and proceeded
To answer some letters. He thought
that he detected a smell, and when
his partner asked him il he didn't feel
sick he said he believed he did. The
man turned pale and said he guessed he
would go home He me, man ON the
sidewalk who said the air was full OF
masma, and in the street q ars 4 man who
sat next TO him moved away To- the end
OF the car, and asked him il he had just
come from Chicago. The man with the
the hat said he had not, when the stranger
said they were having grca, deal of
small pox there, and he guessed he would
get out and walk, and he pulled the bell
and jumped off. The cold pcrspiration
broke out on the forehead OF the man
with the new hat, and he took 1t off To-
wipe his forehead when the whole piece
of cheese seemed to roll over and breathe,
and the man got the full benefit Of il,
and he came near fainiing away. He
got home, and his wife met him and
asked him what was the matter ? He said
he believed modification had set in, and
she took one Whit as he took off his hat,
and said she should think it had
"Where did you get into it ?" said She
"Get into it? have not got into
anything, but some deadly disease has
got hold of me, and shall not live"
She told him that if any disease tha,
smelled like that had got hold Of him
and was going to be chronic, she felt rs
though he woHld be burden to himself
if he lived very long. She got his
clothes off, soaked his fee, in mustard
water, and he slept. The man slept and
dreamed that 4 smallpox flag was hung
in front of his house and that he was
riding in butcher wagon to the pest
house. The wife sent for adoctor, and
when the man of pills arrived she told
him all about the case. The doctor
picked up the patient's new hat, tried i,
on and got sniff. He said the hat WAS
picked before it was ripe. The doctor
and the wife held post mortem exami-
nation Of the hat and found the slice OF
Limburger. "Few and short were the
prayers they said" They woke the pa
tient, and to prepare his mind for the
revelation that was about To be made.
the doctor asked him il his worldly AZ
fairs were in satisfactory condition.
He gasped and said they were The
doctor asked him il he had made his will.
He said he had no., bu, that he wanted
a lawyer sent for at once. The doctor
asked him il he felt as though he was
prepared to shuttle OFF. The man said he
had always tried to lead a different life.
and had tried to be done by the same
rs he would do il himself, hut that he
,night have a miSdeal some way. and he
would like to have a minister sent for
to take an account of stock.
Then the doctor brought TO the bed
side the hat. opened up the sweat leather
and showed the dying man what il was
that sinellcd SO, and told him he WAS rs
well rs any man in the city. The pa
ticnt pinchcd himself To see il he was
alive and jumped out of bed and called
for his revolver. and the doctor couldn't
kccpup with him on the way down town.
The last We saw Of the odoriicrous citizen
he was trying To bribc the bar tender to
tell him which one of those pclcans il
was tina, put that slice of cheese in his
hat lining