The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-02-21

.sIf YOU marry Grace excIaimed an Irfee
father to his son. IL will cut you of with cent,
and you won't have 50 much as piece Of pork to
boil In the pot" ssWell," replied the young
man. ,.Graee before meat and he Immediately
went in search Of a ministcr.-CiHeiHnGt Satlr-
day Night
ssTomf said an old merchant to his son, al
have known men who made money, and did not
spend it. and have known men who spent money,
and did not make It; but never knew man
who could both make money and spend It.
A uartv OF ladies express regret at not being
men. II - said Madame de B-''l would like
20 be a woman till forty, and man from forty to
sixty. s'And aiterward, WHAT asks an ingenue,
anxIously. But there was no reply.
Some OF the citizens Of South Carolina gave
Grant a number Of beautiful fossil specimens,
among them huge backbone and the lower jaw
Of the megalOnyx. Surely South Carolina cannot
think Grant wants backbone, however little jaw
he may hase.-PhiLa- Bd
A weI-known BOstonian was trying horse
one day, in company with the owner, probes
siouaI - Jockey" Having driven him a mile or
two. the gentleman, who noticed that he pulled
pretty hard and showed good deal Of spirit, re-
auired constant watching and steady rein, said
q Do you think that is just the horse for a wO-
man to driver 4" Well, sir, answered the joe
kew, must say that | shouldn't want to mar
ry the woman that could drive that horse. -
Boston Transcript.
This is one of the breakfasts, Hannah;'' and
MIR. Smiley so far forgot himself in his beaming
GOOD nature as to actually smack his lips. ''Just
sSnch a breakfast as we used to enjoy when we
first went to housekeeping. These potatoes,
what a lovely brown, just as crispy, and these
buckwheaT cakes; why, the sun itself must riz IN
the east this morning; and the coffee is OF that
delicate golden shade and delicious aroma that
delights nv heart I tell you, Hannah, after such
n mornings meal this my stomach is iairly
swimming in glory, and after rolling up bis nap
kin carefully, he reached across the table and
gave his wife such resOunding kiss that the
coffee-pot was upset by the concussion.-NoTriS-
Iourn Herald
SIT is said that If you sit down when assailed
bv a ferocious dog, the animal will not touch
YOU This only holds good provided you can
sit down on top of a house a tree, and leave
the dog barking below. The animal will get
weary Of bowling in a few hours and walk away,
when yon can come down without fear of harm.
Bot if YOU are as heavy as Senator Davis, better
way would be to sit down on the dog. He would
not touch any body after that.
She wore n beIted ulster cloak,
All buttoned down before,
A standing collar, and the tie,
think red she
A Jockey hat her
She carried = rattan,
And all who saw her couldn't tell
HoJTId Rly1la,>r.
she wore her brothers Winter cap.
fathers ulster coat:
She had her uneIe's neektie on,
And met billy-guat,
No sooner had she winked a him
Twas quicker done than said
He lifted her about ten feet
And stood her her head
The goat walked OF as II to say
Il guess that young mans dead"
Aa0tler.
A staid Newfoundland on duty, harnessed to q
tiny cutter, and drawing curly headed youngster,
who aourishes his whip in a manner none too
gentle. His dOgship gOOd-naturedly receives the
Blows upon his black shaggy sides, and joys on
with a knowing look, as if to say: This is my
Young master. lie is IN my charge. How easily
I could become angry at his arrogant ways OF
hourishing the whip But know he means no
harm; and rs for hurting me, how much effect
can those puny blows have through my thick over
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