The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-29
MY OWN SUICIDF,

liz her name was? To think that she
once held my life, as it were, in her lit
tie hand, and / can't recollect, to save
my soul, what her name was.
Anyhow, whoever she was, she had
proved false to me, and, as I was very
young at the time, / had promptly come
to the resolution to destroy myself.
My first intention was to go and blow
out my brains all over her stair carpet,
but then reflected that every one
would know that Henrietta-come to
think of it, her name was Henrietta
had infatuated me and turned my head
mo" said I to myself, "no scandal, no
publicity! Let me initiate the wound
ed stag which, seeking to hide its fatal
hurt, betakes itself to the most secret
thickets, there to perish far from all
human eyes"
In this elegiac disposition I took the
$50 train for Melun, which set me
down just at dusk within few steps of
the Golden Lion, very well-kept inn
with clean beds and capital table.
what will monsieur have for sup
PERI" said charming little mistress.
"Nothing-supper would be mock
cry. Show me to my tomb-my room,
I mean"
I retired to my couch, but not to
sleep. In my fevered dreams I beheld
Victoria-I am confident it was Vic
toria, after all-passing, leaning upon
the arm of my hated rival. I clutched
madly at his throat, and seized-the
iron railing of the bedstead. I rose
unrefreshed, but what matters that?-I
was about to die-ha! la! to die.
Having dressed myself, I went in
search of rope. You may think that
when a person wants to hang himself
nothing is easier than to find a rope;
but I had to hunt the hotel high and
low before could find one.
what on earth do you want of d
rope, monsieur?" said the pretty mis-
tress when finally shea found me one.
With the precious bit of hemp in my.
pocket, took my way toward a
thicket not far from the hotel, in little
wood whose paths were familiar to me.
There was one lonely and gloomy copse
there where I we'll knew my lifeless
body would swing for weeks ere it was
discovered.
Upon the road thought OF Bertha
I was wrong before; come to think of
it, it was Bertha and cursed her with
all the bitterness of which my soul was
capable. I then tested my cord. It
was not such an agent of self-des-
truction as I would have chosen had I
an assortment from which to make a
selection. It seemed to me both short,
and not up to my weight. I was an
noyed. You cannot tell how a trife
like that will affect persons temper at
such moment.
A further disappointment was in
store for me. On arriving on the SPOT
I had selected in advance, I was dis
agreeably surprised to find some one
else there. An individual, whose back
only I could see, was fastening q rope
to the most eligible branch of my tree.
"Hellol what are you doing there?"
cried.
He turned round. "What business
is it Of yours, any way?" he says.
"Bahl don't you think I know what
you intended doing?"
"Well, and supposing I wanted to
hang myself-it is my own funeral
suicide, I mean"
l regarded him narrowly. He was
handsome and manly young fellow, of
about my own age, with a frank and
winning cOuntenance. He was deadly
pale.
"This young man," said I, lifting my
hands to heaven, was going to take his
life-his own precious life-all for the
sake of worthless jilt."
"Sir!" he cried.
Poor, silly fool" I went on, commun-
ing with myself aloud, ~he would un-
dertake to defend her. All lovers are
the same. Will you," T continued,
take my advice-the advice of we'll
wisher2 Just leave that cord there lit
was stouter rope than mine, / bad OBJ
served and go quietly home like good
fellow: When you are yourself, you
vii! thank me for having given you
such good advice"
He shook his head gloomily. II de-
SIRE to die" he muttered.
Don't let yourself be goaded into
taking step that if you were alive you
would regret tomorrow" went on,
with benevolent persistence. (You
see, the fellow had pre-empted the only
really-eligible bough in the wood)
when you are dead, it will be too late
to change your mind"
you speak to me without knowing
what misfortune has happened to me-"
II can guess it."
mo, you cannot guess it. Sir.
woman that I loved-a woman for
whom"
And he went on to tell me his story,
which, mngularly enough, was precisely
Ike mine. The coincidence made me
pause moment to collect my thoughts.
V.
II see," said Charles Che had told me
in the course of his painful story that
his name was Charles), "that your 81
lence justi8es me-"
by no MEANS" I cried. (You will
observe that it wouldn't have been dig
nified for me to abandon at once my
former position on the subject of sui
cide) ~There is nothing whatever in
allthat you have told me to Justify You
in taking your life. Come, my friend"
said I, becoming really Interested in his
case, 3come. let us reason the matter
out. Why should you complain because
you have been unfortunate in love?
Don't you know what the poet says?
"Thelot Of girls was to deceive
6tnce winter first was snowy.
"Women have been false to their lovers
from al time; women will be false to
their lovers to all time"
But no woman has ever been so
false TO her lover a. this woman was
90 me-
Lots Of 'em have"
No; none could be-"
But I tell you thousands of 'em
have. know one whose conduct tow
rds-toWards an intimate friend of
mine was Why should you kill y our
eli beesuse one pretty woman has