Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-08-13
F. Z N
Hunting for Receipt Under Very D1scourag
ing Circumstances.

AuuGlES lUl d ACCCipu OuuCl WIZ 11sOVul DIS
ing Circumstances.
ssNow, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopendyke
'syou needn't hurry, but you'd better gel
ready pretty soon. Train don't 60 for ar
hour and half. and we'll have plenty of
time to get there"
ssI'm all ready chirped M rs. Spoopen
dyke, bustling about. Its hot and we
want to take plenty of time.''
Trunks all packed Gripsacks2 Bas-
kets? Everything packed2o
"Yes, indeed,' Uttered Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, gleefully, land I sent the trunk over
by the expressman, SO all you've got to dc
is to check it at the station.''
"That's right" said Mr.. Spoodendyke
kissing his wife. s'That's the way to do
things. Did you nail card on tie
trunk ?''
mo, I-''
ssYou didn't! How're we going to find
it? Expect that trunks to walk up and
recognize us; think that trunks going to
get up and make a speech and say It's
Spoodendyke's trunk?"
ssThe expressmen said it didn't need any
card. He gave me a receipt for it and
said that would do" smiled Mrs. Spoo-
dendyke.
II don't know but it will. I reckon he's
right about that. Where's the receipt ?"
asked Mr.. Spoodendyke, cheerily.
''Let's see, !" rejoined Mrs. Spoopendyke,
putting her finger to her lips. ~ put 1t
somewhere Now, WONDER
''Take your thumb out Of your mouth.
You didn't stick it down your throat, did
you? Don't you know where you put lt?'
Mrs. Spoopendyke searched hurriedly in
her pocket-book and then looked in the
bureau drawers.
'sDon't be impatient, DEAR" she said,
hunting behind the clock and rumaging in
the vases. II put it somewhere, know
"What sort of thing was it, a checkp
What did it look like?" demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke.
s1It wasn't a check. It was long and
wide.v replied Mrs. Spoopendyke.
$50 is COW. Did he give you COW?
Did it look like COW? What did you do
with it? Got it tied up in the yard?"
cit was regular receipt on piece of
paper" sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke. 81
had it when commenced dressing. Now,
what did do with it?''
"What do you think you did with it?
Hang it up on nail? Did you cook it?
UNA w nag are you standing there for? Why
thing is coming to ! youS Sn9BDRse the blasted
Was it on wheels?"
Mrs.. Spoopendyke hustled around and
searched again just where she had searched
before.
"What do you want to look there for?
Why don't you stop and try to think what
you did with it? Amt you got any sense
at ALP" howled Mr.. Spoopendyke. 'sSup-
pose the measly thing crawled into the
clock?-Got an idea that it climbed over
the side of two vases and hid itself IN
both? Why don't you put things where
you can find them?"
II generally do" sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke.
sob, yes. you do. You always do, don't
you? When business gets dull Pm going
to fill you up with little boxes and start
safe deposit with you. Haven't you found
it yet? How am going to get at that
trunk without receipt? Suppose that
dod gasted railroad Is going to wait around
like fly on doughnut while swear as
to which is my trunk? Think that's the
only trunk they've got over there? Here,
you sit down here and let me look for that
thing. You won't find it any more than
heather would find consolation in the
Thirty-nine articles. Sit down there while
I take the house to pieces-you hear me!'
Mr.. Spoopendyke jumped up and tore
around like green apple in small boys |
stomach.
''Look here" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
pointing to the chair her husband had va
Gated. s'There it is now. "You've been
sitting on it.-Brookly1a Eagle.
A Dutchman who married his second |
wife soon after the funeral of the first was
visited with two hours serenade in to-
zen of disapproval. He expostulated pa
thus: L Say. pOyS, you ought
% be ashamed of yourself to be be making
all dis noise ven dere vas funeral here SO
,oon.''
A pickpocket taken with his hand in
some one else's pocket endeavored to in
1ent all manner Of impossible explanations
If the phenomenon. s'What's the use of
you trying to lie about it SO clumsily ?''
said the magistrate, benevolently; sshavn't
7ou lawyer
"You had better change that rug,''
aid lady to her servant. Don't you
hink.it corroborates better with the car.
et this way ?" was the response. It was
be same girl who told her mistress that a
entleman with predicament in his speech
ad called to see her.
A lady, engaged to be married and get
ing sick Of her bargain, appied to friend
0 help her unite the knot before it was
90 late. s.Oh, certainly, = she replied;
It is very easy to unite it now while it is
MY a beau-knot."
The other day man died SO suddenly
,t 40 hodv uaa almost cold before tho