, 1880-12-25


CHAT.
IDYJs Of a MlLKMAtD.
To The Editor Of The Chteaoo Tribune.
HosconEr, Dee. al.-"Say, girls, how would
you Ike u cow?'
The nbove remark was addressed to my
eIster ul,,l myself, by my brothel-il-lnw one
evening nj the scpper.ta6ia.
~. would be charming" exclaimed Ange~
luc, upset!tng ler teacnp III ller delight
40, 1t woul1 be perfectly splendid, and
then We could hayc new milk for the baby,
cream for the coffee, anu iisce fresh butter"
cried, with NIL the enthusiasm Of one whose
only knowtedep of COWS aisd their habits
consisted Of what lad CLEANED from psct-
ures nnf )oelicat descriptions Of lnElk1llaids
nnd. milking Tine. .......,.
"Well, thought you would like It, amt
Ihought ono totlny," said Charles, with tho
n!r Ut n,an who llas done II eoud thing fer
his family md knows It; "mlu sAo will bo
here tomorrow"
"Who will mllkT' satd Angeline, casting
n nloylng Ela1,ce Mt her husband.
80! II! TO tic milking myself" lp re-
piled. And tl.at settled 1t.
The ucxt day WIS one Of bnstlc and prep
nratiol,. Wa had n carpenter put UP Il
swinging shelf 1u tho cellar, which we coy-
escd with white oll-c!oth, whilo Angelne
tackcd abDve ID, to prevent any dust from
falling on the milk, part OF n linen table
cloth. which slle tnrc up for tho OCCASION.
md which WIS sunlopcu with 6cnrlut zephyr,
nilu finished with scnrlet bulls nt tho ends;
for sle had quito aM artistic taste, antl Ell
leav0rc,l to make home beautiful and happy
by combining tho useful and ornamental.
uurIng the day Charles sent Np a mtIk-pall,
strainer. and Skinner, three dozen milk
Jars, /, six.gnllon tcc.creanl freezer, q four
gallon cilurn, anu barrel Of salt,
"lsn't lie tho best; tho klNdest, md tho most
generous nnl that ever lved9" exclaimed
my sister, ny sl.e eyed the new furniture
roposng III the middle OF tho floor.
"fIe cer.ulnty is," said !, for I always
Acqntcscc when SHE praises her husband, no
matter what my private opinion Is. 1t is the
safest way.
That night, when le sat down to milk,
AuRollno cried, ata sufa distance and in n
. voice fnll Of solicitMc, saint you afraid
she'll llkick, dcar"" "Oh, mol" said Charles;
"you can tell by her cyo nnd tho general
contour Of her faco that sho IL perfectly nid
aid gentle" Aud ho MIXED away Hike n
mnn who las purfcct confidence in his own
"ile Is such MI excellent Judge Of charac-
ter said Angeltne, believing every word ho
elltlt H!lA CiSlsllH Al AIllll1lllh E!A!lCc ApOtA
him. lIut she !!aa scarcely got t!io words
out bf ler mouth When tho COW, by Il flank
movement, knocked INN down. ran over HIN,
a1l kicked lhc pail and about two d1tnrtS Of
lMi!i over the fence aud through tic window
Of our lieXt-to0r nesghhOr 10 .Wls0m we do
not speak because they kesp c!Itckclls ulll we
make gAr.!eM), aud tlen, giving = playful
my sister, who Just gnt, in the house as the
COW rsac!letl tho toorI whero size stoppe,l to
examine the swlll.l'all and, after slnc'linE ot
II, tipnctl u over. atd se.lt the contents al!
brnther-fr-aw came rushing Into tho llousc,
cxcfnlNing:
INV! "l"a9F Y, ;s end Ehtq1E! {I A5'gs,ne t5'sg you'll
"tilun'ier mid lightning. AneeIIne," lils
ly ac1uiesces IN IIts commands. But on this
Spirit wls aroused. there was q glitter ~ l'et
eye uat 'pant war to The knifo, and the
knife tu thu hlt. n1l slle sll:
MIR. ChHrleH Augustus Smith, wouldn't
! milk tllat COW ONO 10 HAyo ynll from tie
.;,, s! Msalan" IT, g ; sTs's!as II il il threat
don't propuss 10 get myself klliutI to vlcast
yun. hDu't proWSo tu l,ave your secul!t
wife !n,sstng MY Children ronIlti III live ur sl,
Ii. ILL.," sliV cried, NJ lo bcga,. 10 wAl!
fran,c.llly up ai down tho rum aMl swca
RtNliby, "nll yum cNn rlre around Nlt yUl
whit to, yHh can pull 0nt what low hntr
yuW lave left I'll your lleatt, md ynu IN!
swear TIL your ,l'roat y r1w, oHt ypN @ sal'' "
pAllsetl tU cAtcil her breath, nlut lib iDok l!r
by. tho shoulder aud In deep. lrnKteal, Volct
sutl:
''lt YOU don't have that cow MIXED Il
Murruw night before come l.olIIo to snppe
III tlivOtcu you, 1nat!an! I'll divorce YOU"
~ wish ,y9n wlnitl., ! Just wish 80
would" and she estFllck leseecltnE att t!tud'
waited ,Ae, And he wouldn't ask nv To lntl
n lot u COWS II / lived With him II tllnusal,
yea.s. fly would l'ayc too much respect IL
thu ilutllrr VI Ills cilldrell-h
- 'fhu poyeyty-strickelk pupuy,n Toarcd NJ
brother-tn.ilw. "lio couldn't buy co
it,
%o Ky, kno% ,y he's poos" !a'ts5raptsa ;,,p 4,
ai,Ft rcl-taeed, a,!u ba!tE-heauu,l,. und Ii
lon's weigh Upounds, a,Ia lAe dol't whce1
"WUnanl" yelled ChnEles in q tons an
malItler tllat Tnndu INC think Of torna4Oe
volcanoes, wrecks OIL the ocean, steanbo
explosions, aud RAILROAD collisions. Wol
1t this terrible ,noment, with q tesoism
which NY most intimate friends would III
lIaye deeAIcu NIT capable, threw lnysg
into il!u breach. ! WAS US afyA1d as death
the cuw, did not eat butter, liever lrn,
iuilk, aid hated lce-cEeam., But did ii
faller. ;sas M morally certain , lhe @ Mlsetal
sys Inst / lii not like, and was sure q
Wnull ilook," alM gore. Or kick ns "
Kingdom co,lia or Observation-Disclosures 1t
t. IT, sslSsSts tos,lns Eli "t Hut u T' ri TIT @ u