Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-08-20
Hawkpyc Chances.

Z ANN", eAAhSt Ella uoS De
Some one, says the Detroit Free Press,
now calls for an unstriped zebra.
The Chicago hotel keepers idea oil
heaven Is that it is one perpetual col
vention.
John McCullough's income last year
exceeded that Of the President of the
United States.
The Elmira Adrsfti,er thinks it is
| better to put cabbage leaves than bricks
III straw hats.
The Boston Transcript is going to
gather up the late political straws and
stuff mattress.
Some men can't take cold without
blowing about it, Loarsely whispers the
Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Edison is the man, according to
the Buffalo Express. who is always just
going to do something.
1t is no disgrace to have big feet, bat
it is disgrace to be ashamed of them.
- A Man who wears No. los.
The Norristown Herald thinks that a
man must be hardened sinner when
he lies" ut the point of death.
Moths eat up S25 ,OOO,OO worth of
goods in this country every year, while
elephants don't iniure US bit Free
Press.
In his race with Trickett, Hanlan will
be as good an American as any body-
provided he comes out ahead Elmira
Free Press.
thank the Lord thare liz one thing
in this world that money kant buy,
and that liz the wag ov dogs TAIL
Josh Billings.
Benjamin Franklin, when alive,
looked after the pennies, and now he
has his reward by having his head on
the penny postage stamp.
Miss Barthold, the daughter of the
Paraguayan consul-general, wore q
dress of Spanish lace worth s., 500 at
her wedding in New York.
A Canadian village possesses a curl
osity in the form of an electrical girl.
Any person shaking hands with her is
subjected to violent shock.
DR.. J. G. Holland and family have
gone to" Bonnicastle, their charming
summer home at Alexandria Bay,
among the Thousand Islands.
A TRAMP VINO Has A Book KEEPER.
There is o tramp who haunts the
east end of Galveston who has got it
down fine. He has reduced it to q per-
feet system. He has his regular Gus
toners, SO to speak. He knocked at
tha Innr nf n hnroA Tho
cut. As soon as he saw the tramp he
said Nov, look here, last week l
gave You nickel to stay away for ten
days, and here you are back again"
The tramp put his hand to his fore.
head and was lost in thought for sew
eral minutes. Then he said, "You
are right, colonel. Your regular as
sessLAent is not due yet for q week.
When get back to my counting no m
I'll pay off my head book-keeper aud
discharge him. He has neglected to
give you the proper credit on the
ledger " Well, go on, now" "All
right, colonel. This is nc. a profess
sioual call; it is only complimentary.
No extra charge" 1t was Galveston
tramp, too. who grumbled when he was
uonou W tahC uAhuo ouU VI u HudIIcIs
He said the year previous he had been
out $50 by losses in making change.
IMAGINE HER FEELINGs.-A Detroit
belle sone time since received by ex-
press from an Eastern city very hand
some-looking umbrella, and she had it
out:the other day for the first time. TAX
ing a Notwithstanding Car for short
ride, she reached the handle OF the
umbrella up to pull the bell-strap,
when she desired to get off. As she
pulled down the umbrella began to
lengthen. and her feelings may be i'm
agined when she found the umbrella
in her hand and sword-cane arrange
ment about two feet long dangling to
the strap above her head. This new
idea in umbrella handles didn't seem
to strike her favorably, and as the car
halted she left both portions behind
her, and seemed good deal confused
when man called after her:
Cant never depend upon them
things in row. You'd better get
Derringer!'-Dttroit Free Press.