Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-08-26
HORRIBLE HILARITY!
Night Policeman Smith Kills
His Third Straw Man,
HIT HORRIBLY HoAxED--HITT,s
THE BEST OF THE SEASON, EXCEPT
THE MAN IN THE POND.
Make No Mistake--Smith is Not the Straw
Man: the Straw Man was Killed,

night policeman, shot at a man with
his pistol-not with his mouth.
When the pistol went off the man
went off-to die, as Smith repeated
~ said, when talking of the matter
afterwards. The affair was not
thought of again till last Sunday
night, when the fact was revealed
that the ''Pony Club was not dead
but had been sleeping.
1t was about 8 O'Clock Sunday
evening. The town was unusually
quiet. Smith said that he thought
he could smell death in the air. He
was on his beat, as usual-talk1ng
some man to death-when a negro
approached him and told him that he
had a Skeleton in a branch for
him. He therFtold Smith hat there
was a dead man IL the weeds near
the branch back OF George Morris.
Smith, for once, was speeches.. He
ut once surmised that this was his
man, Or at least all that was left of
him. Wishing all the world to know
what a sure shot he was, he went
around the square and picked up the
boys to go out with him. Accident
ally ca he was also accompanied
by the boys, who were posted. On
the way out he found his tongue
again. He talked somewhat as fol-
lows:
"'This is the third man 1 have
done for. The other two | killed in
mortal combat (talked to death we
guess When we find the body you
will find l shot him right in the heart !;
l neve mss my mark; / smell some
thing it can't be that he is decom-
posing l hope l will have no trouble
about this matter l did not intend to
kill him he was trying to break into
the house and 1 only did my duty !;
| saw him wabble afterI shot; / never
Miss nay bird On the fly 1 am bad
man OH the Shoot &c.
When the body was found and be-
fore n match was lighted, Smith, in
sepnlchral tones, asked that the
crowd remove their hats, which was
promptly done. Then the knight
OF the club, with hair on end and
drops of pcrspiration as big as dutch
beer barrels rolling Off his face. struck
81 match, by the light Of which he was
to gaze on his third dead man. He
gaZed, hut gazed in vain. The crowd
gathered around % see. Smith
turned away, the crowd thought he
was faint or terrified to death, but
no. Instead of a pale, deathly face,
with CLASSY eyes, Smith had seen a
headless man Of straw. Again he
was speechless. While the crowd
was wild with laughter, Smith did
not seem to enjoy the joke, but enjoy
it or not, it did not seem to trouble
the boys.
The straw man was then placed or
a slretcher and carried TO the engine
house to undergo a coroner's inquest
1t was then IL p. Ill. o. Hit, jus
tice of the peace, was swee,ly sleep
inc the sleep of the Innocent; dream
inc of some maiden fair, or law case
foul. He was awakened by a knocl
on his door-only this and nothing
more. JIe was then told that he wa'
wanted to hold an inquest on i dea'
man. who had been carried to ,h'
} council room. Ian got into hi
clothes inside out and top side down
r Sharpening a gross OF pencils he
: procured a rcam OF paper, ana ii
company with his room mate Brown
at once hastcned to attend his dut.
8 and hold an inquest. On enteriii:
the council room, in the presence o
death. Ian removed his hat, ant
with a tear in his eye, prepared 10
business. lie could see plenty O
applicants for jnrymen, but though
), he would just take a look at til
~corp,e. While crossing the room t.
the covered corpse, our fflen
u thought OF the uncertainty OF ilic
re wondered. if the man had left
wi dow. and il she was young, goo
v looking and rich. The nearer h
i approached the dead the cooler tn
ctills ran up and down his back an
PLAYED hide and seek around Til
n roots oflis hair. When he ralse'
the handkerchief that covered til
face VIVA. a sight met his gaze! PEI
haps you have heard Of a man bein
run through a cider mill, a cotton
=, yin, a threshing-machine or q sau
sagc-mill maybe you have seen
man fred out of a cannon OF I'll
B. over. by the temple of Jnggernan'
y Won have seen the remains OF bolteI
. and tricksters after heing kicked t
death by both parties; you have see
the devil after he was kicked out {
Z. heaven into hell /; you may nave see
all this and more, but if you nevt
e saw a straw man laid out i
1t state you never saw VIII
met his gaze on this occ'
-. sion. He knew it was a joke all u
:. time-after he saw it. dc sal
never a word and left the dead
bury the dead. The nex' time nc
' called on he will have to nave y
70 evidence, that his subject is sea'
1.-THE Joke was well perpetrated on