The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-03-11
WAITS AND WHIMS.

UNEASY sits the man who wears1a
boil.
THE Gear will dynamity sight later,
after this. g
A KISS is the sealed proposal of mat.
rimony.
WHEN dogs die do they go to the
"happy land of canine"
IT is always fast day with chained
dog. -
The wise man telleth his love, but
the foolish man swriteth his in letter.
WHOM the gods would destroy they
first elect to the Kentucky Legislature.
Ky. Neec Era.
The Russian NihiIists ought TO trot
out their mother-in-law. They could Z
blow up the Car, and not make astupid
botch of it.
IT is said that Tennyson, the poet.
sometimes spends hours upon a single
line. A Nevada horse-thief has been
known to do the same thing. ~
In writing letter inclosing asnb-ss
scription to this paper, you may write
on both sides of the paper if you want
to- zfs3 sesss stfrf1sF
IHAv. finally got SO that amt at all
sertian ov wat kno miself, and am get
ting less sertain of what others say they
kno.-Josh Billings.
The poet who sang, e I'm sailing Ger
the brine knee deep, was revidentlyfe
timid man and afraid to venture far from >
shore. : -
f aREsERvED seats twenty-five cents, %
said the boy paying quarter to thel
tailor for enough goods to put on q
match when IL w4s needed
A WEES serepade to her worser-
half who d: esn't come home till morn
ing: |" There's club in the doorway for
thee, husband" <Bf
"I SAY, Jim, if five and half rods
make a perch, how many will make q
pickerel3o "You Just tell me, first, IL
two hogsheads make pipe, how many
will make meerschaum 7"
THE story is told of the late John
Blackwood that, before he knew George
Eliot was woman, he, in correspond
ence with her, addressed her as my
Dear George"
4 IT is said that g butter a Thousand
years old has been found in peat bog
in Ireland But what's the use Of
going away over there for that brand of
butter2
MEMBERS of the Anti-P Profanity Soci-
ETY., of Savannah, Ca, wear white
badge. This is to distinguish them
from the blue streak that some people
swear, probably.
CHARLES READE says that all chill
dren should be taught to have presence
of mind, but haven't they got it. Catch
boy in the sugar-box and isn't he
/ looking for flies?
THE wife of a prominent gentleman
of Oil City, Penn, was seized recently
/ with his derricks, but is doing better
since, and is believed in way to recover.
4 Gin. Star.
"WHAT is the chef end of manT'
yelled an excited orator, a Ia Joseph
Cook. Death" groaned man In the
i audience. and the orator started new
conundrum.
A SMALL conf1agrations in q country
town generally dies out long before the
excited inhabitants have ceased to rush
up and down the street, yelling Fire"
-Hdckensdck Republican. -
i A MAN whosat up for nights wrestling
| with it asks this conundrum: What
! is the difference between sailor and q
4 tiremanTp Now, hold your breath.
81 One plows the water, and the other
hose tie water. ~ Z
4 DID it ever occur to you why lawyer
who is conducting disputed-wil case
is like a trapeze performer in circusf
Didn't9 Well, it's because he flies
through the heir with the greatest OF
fees.
"HAs the cooking book any pictures 7"
asked young lady of bookseller,
Not one," replied the dealer in books.
"Why, !" exclaimed the witty miss, "what
is the use of telling us how to make .
dinner if you give us no platesf"
"WHY, you'd better knock the door
down. What do you meanT Och,
my darling don't let me wake any OF
your family. Pm just using your
knocker to wake the people next door.
Pm locked out, dye see, and they We
niver knocker."
; Noone knows who invented the fashion
in society of turning down the corner OF
} visiting card but the fashion OF turn
ing down the corner of street was first
: thought of Dy the man who owed
small bill to the tradesman-he saw COM
ing. ssl -
THEY sat upon the sandy beach,
And azadr he sea z -