St. Landry democrat., 1880-12-18
ALL SORTS.

Tho world owes us living, but tbe
only wav to collect the debt 10 TO pui, " ~,
onr ooats and take it out of the WORLDS
hide.
Life is but an empty, dream says ne
the poet, but the man VINO sp'l'S, ~
with fourteen pourqaN man "a Zines rGr i'
Nature is full OF contradictions. TO
! day we see the girl trying 10 oe
| woman, and Tomorrow the woman tly"
! ing to be a girl.
| "If de face am dc indux ob de keer,
acter,' said Uncle Moses to his ;, "lchea
congregation, II jedge dat ye all sarVe
de Lord. But I'd swar," he added res
! trictively, "dat most on ye sarve hin
mos shameful"
A Chicago girl fell dead at bal and
her friends said it was heart disease
but the post mortem examination
proved that it was four POUNDS or
sponge cake and two gallons OF Ice
cream.-[N. Q. Times.
a school boy gave his teacher this IL.
Illustrative definition of responsibility"
Boys has two buttons to their spend
ers' SOS to keep their pants up. When,
one button comes off there's a good deal
of responsibility ON the other button"
"a horse horse my kingdoms! for
a horse p shouted tragedian in a
DOM" replied grizzly bearded old
miner. "Put up S13 and I'll bring you
a critter quicker'n a Chinaman can
steal IL shirt The actor escaped by a
back door.
A woman near Cairo dressed up as q
man to see how much bluff her old hns"
band would take from stranger. He
lodged forty-six bird shot in her legs.
Since then she ignores all masculine
prerogatives and nurses her wounded
cOntinuanccs.
Snooks went home the other night at"
fiicted with double vision. He sat for
some time with his sleepy gaze riveted
on Mrs. Snooks, and then complacently
remarked "Well, I declare, 4 you two
gals don't look 'nough like to be
tWlns.-[Christian at Work.
The imagination of the small boy lis
the most wonderful thing on rec
ord. He can pull a tin wagon pnd i'm
agine that he is a freight train, but the
moment his mother wants him to bring
in some wood his imagination becomes
frozen up for the winter.-[N.O 0. Times.
Artenus Ward used to say: 81 can't
understand family pride. When q
special thing, naturally he feels inclined
to lay stress on that. Now / alwayz in
sist upon it that there isn't another
family on Gods earth that has got as
many jackasses in it as Ii, iue has"
"Thrashing by steam," murmured a
fond mother as she glanced at an article
IN an agricultural paper. "What git
ups they 10 have nowadays. Ii l had
my four boys, my arms would't have
beer as rheumatikly as they are to-day,n
and she dreamily thought of the past as
1t might have been.
An old Virginia farmer came homo
drunk the other night, and became the
victim OF an irrepressible desire to be-
come still drum ker. SO he thought he
Wonid brlng out his wagon and drive
over to Shelbourne Falls for more whis-
key, Just as he was about putting the
finishing touches on the harnessing ar
rangmeent he said to himself; "This
horse has got horps!" He brought out
bis lantern and found he had hitched
the tI1e COW to, tbs wagon. He muttered
I'm drunk enough now," unhitched
the beast and went into the house to
sleep it off.-fTemperance Journal.
A TRULY PRUDENT MoTHER.-A
dwelling house on Clifford street took
hhr hre IN one of the chambers, recently,
from + an exploding kerosene lamp. NE
names were e1tinguished after a sharp
struggle by the woman of the house.
who had her hands pretty badly burned.
She was relating her adventures next
and the woman asked:
why didn't yon raise an alarm
where was Bessie T.
"Bessie and her beau were courting
In the parlor," was the calm reply.
And you never called tbemqD
Not word. have known of case.
where sudden alarm has upset a
young man just as lie was about TO nro-
two lives" VI