The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1880-01-23

A Fable About Women by One of En-
The Travelling Bag md the Lunch
Haskell.
Philadelphia Press. a'
"women are peculiar" said the Trav.
cling Bag, there is no use denying it,
She has opened me twelve times in hall
an hour; what for, l can't see. She
doesn't always take things out. I believe
she likes to hear my catch snap"
Perhaps" said the Lunch Basket; "but
watch her with me-two sandwiches, two
apples, four cakes, one orange and one
banana since We started, beside any
quantity Of chocolate creams. ! am rather
new, you see; this is my first journey
with a lady. Do they always eat like
this?"
"She does 1t to occupy her mind, I sup.
pose" said the Bag. II have often noticed
that people eat when there is nothing else
to do. l saw 1t on the steamer when we
went abroad"
"Well, l hate it." said the Basket. at
looks so greedy, eating all the time. l
don't think / like travelling with ladies,
anyway"
Like itl' said the Bag. ~ should
think not indeed! They are never quiet
a moment. A man, now, just dumps US
down, and that's the end OF us until the
train stops, when he snatches us up again
and rushes of. But women! First she
gets into the Pullman car, and wonders
where her seat Is; can't find the number,
and won't believe the porter; SO looks
over everybody's head or under every.
body's feet until she sees it herself"
swell, really" laughed the Basket, II
don't much blame her for not finding the
number. 0icourse, have travelled very
little yet; but 1t seems to me they try to
put It Just where people can't possibly see
"Perbaps," said the Bag, "but women
always have to fuss justso much; the cause
dosen't make any great difference"
~ hope she settles down now" said the
Basket. - !.
"lIercy!" said the Bag; chow much
you have to learn, poor thing; this Is only
the beginning. She takes her seat, but
finds It sunny, and wants all the blinds
pulled down; then she tries to wedge her
bag between two chairs, and when the old
gentleman in front OF her wants 10 wheel
his seat around he can't, because the bag
is in the way. He looks to find what is
The matter, but the lady takes no notice oil
him. and he makes some exclamation Ia
himself, which we don't wish to repeat
Then nv lady wants q iootstool, and the
porter cannot find one for the moment;
40 Of course, she must have 1t directly and
cannot travel without 1t. At last, after
making the porter poke under every
body's chair, she gets up and discovers Il
under her own, where 1t has been all the
time"
"What women want footstools for
cam sec, - interrupted the Basket; zone Il
always stumbling over them in dark
drawing.rooms, ] am told" A..
"0hl tits notion" said the Bag, "ant
ladies' notions are very obstinate things
That is the reason they get their owr
way so often. Men have not time ia
bother abouta within, and so they give VI
to it. 1tsaves temper" 100 :.
@Soit does" says the Basket. "Well
90 on. After the footstool?"
"Then," answered the Bag, "she takes
ont, her novel and scent.bottle and is quie
for awhile; but pretty soon she feels thu
dust coming in from an open ventilator
and although the thermometer is ninet!
| In the car, II has to be closed-the poo
old gentleman in front Of her as red as [
boiled lobster. Then she eats her luncl
and afterward wants the window openet
TO throw away the apple.parings. By thi
time the poor porter has wisely disappear
ed. 40 she tugs aud tugs in vain. At las
she looks around, in an injured way, ant
SAYS: 'Will no gentleman assist meY +"
"Women never do understand catches,
said the Basket; $50 men say; explain
4 lock to them dozens Of times, and the
will always pull the wrong way"
"Ouite true" said the Bag; well, on
of the gentlemen In the car gets the wiz
dow open for her and shuts 1t aiterwart
Then she Is thirsty and wants q drink
water, 80 she goes to the ice.cooler, swa,
ing into everybody by the way, and come
hack with her cup full OF water, spillin
plenty OF 1t and waking the old gentlema
out oil sound sleep by a small delug
on his bald head. Presently the conduO
tor comes for the tickets, and hers can't
found, although she has shown It betor
She looks for II in her purse, In her ba
| In her lunch. basket, in her pocket, and
last, when the conductor loses oil patienc
finds II inside her glove very much mas
ed, where she had put It for safe keeping
hGood graciousl' said the Basket, "dor
saw any more. You make me feel fair
We have q journey often hours before
WHY don't women stay at homeW
IDear mel" said the Bag; "you to
like proyerbs-women don't stay at hor
any more; that's exploded long ago
haven't you read the papersl They
~ La I,nI lilo NOR, anil an