Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1880-02-26
Helena, Montana, Thursday, February IS, 1880.
No. IS


The difference between q sea and saw is
in tense.
The man who hires plumber always pays
the piper.
A key that overthrows the wards of the
nation-whisky.
Musicians are judged by the accompani-
ment they keep.
A diamond drill should be q brilliant mill
tary movement
Acids and pickles are usually the contents
of the family jar
The difference between mason and his
| tender is in the hods.
1t is thought Boston people have bean
souperstitious always
The serpent bracelet is the latest. 1t is a
kind of beau-a constructor.
Nowadays. says the Philadelphia Bulletin,
a rolling mill gathers no mortgages.
One of the definitions of "a plum" is
100000. Hence the word plummer.
The Free Press says that although fences
do not walk they have swinging gait
An exchange thinks that curryhossity takes
farmers to the stable before breakfast.
There is something saddening about pair
of scissors-alas they only meet to sever.
We have heard of some people who say
they could live on music Then it must be on
L. Lote meal.
Spicer says his collar button is like the
celebration of the Fourth of July-it is sure
to come off.
Teacher-"Willie. can you tell me who
wrote the Psalms?" Willie-"Yes'm, Mr..
Longfellow."
''Samson," at the Academy of Music, on
Monday evening next is expected to bring
down the house.
The effect of salt air on brick buildings in
Boston tends to give k-a-brackishness
to Hub society.
The latest London fog; First pedestrian
lis your lantern out p Second dol don't
know I'll feel.''
The politest old lady lives in California.
She knocked at car door and waited until it
was opened for her.
"Do animals understand art ?" asks West
ern paper OF course. The music is the
heel-yer-type of animals
Going through without change does not
suit the sleeper-car porters who expect to be
remembered at the end of the journey
When you call your friend Jones the big
gest fool you ever knew, you forget yourself,
sir; such language isn't in good taste.
The Cincinnati Gazette thinks women will
not know what to do with the ballot as it is
not long enough for a belt and not big enough
for hustle
A young lady of Philadelphia is gaining
great reputation as violinist. Still, she is
not the only fair one who has mastered the
art of handling the beau.
SPRAY do not attempt to darn your cob
webs" was Swift's advice to gentleman of
strong Imagination and weak memory, who
was laboriously explaining himself
''You promised to pay that bill yesterday"
said an angry creditor to a debtor. "Yes,"
calmly replied the other, shut to err is
human, to forget, divine, and forgot it."
Much lis said about the healing power of
There must be something ia it,
because many a man supposes he is well
'heel'd" when it is only in his mind
A very brilliant piano player can work up
"Home, Sweet Home" so artistically that in
the bang and confusion of the playing it can
not be distinguished from 'Moses in Egypt"
The imitation frogs now worn as orna-
ments by the ladies, are rather suggestive of
leap year. However 1t will not do to jump
at this conclusion. 1t may be souvenir of
croak, hey?
The question is continually being asked,
"What shall we do with our boys?" The
people know what to do with their boys, but
the trouble appears to be that the boys won't
let them do it.
Professor in Psychology-"What is the
first power developed by man ?" Senior
somewhat mixed)e )e"Well-I well-I sup
pose the power to creep Senior sits down
amid wild applause.
An East Boston man sent coffin to a
friend as practical joke, and the man who
received it went and sold it for $17 to an un-
1ertaker, and is ready to be made the victim
If Just such another humorous trick.
A Really Lively Neighborhood-Landlord
to prospective tenant )-"Lonely? Yer wife
EEL kinder lonesome here so far from neigh
,ors? Why, man, this is right on the road
o the cemetery! There's funerals passin
lere every day of yer life."