davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1880-07-22

There's sadness in the Union camp,
Supplies are running low;
Small gains from many a weary tramp,
The forage wagons show;
Yet in their leader staunCh and brave,
Firm faith the soldiers feel,
Ouick-witted, cool and strong to save
They've Garfield at the wheel!
And vet, to-day, those valiant ones
Have missed their noble chief
From rank to rank the whisper runs,
'lIe goes to bring relief :"
Ere long each weil-liiled haversaCk
Shall pleHteOus stores reveal
Courage we soon shall see him back
We've Garfield at the wheel.
''ris death the swollen stream to trust :"
The trembling soldiers cry;
"At duty's call embark we mUstI"
The General makes reply.
Wild currents yeX the lgbuTing barge,
Aud guicS-sands clog her keel,
But safe TO port she brings her charge
Twas Garfield at the wheel.
What enough uthwart oar peaceful skies
p0rtcutUus shapes are thrown,
DisgTaCeiul arts Corruption plies
And Factions blast is blown;
Niyturiuus u'Gr the raging tides,
The good ship COmmOnwcal,
Full freignted, into harbOr glides,
With Garfield at the wheel! S
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1880-07-22

Nothing can constitute good breeding
that has not good nature for its founda-
ton.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1880-07-22

If you want to get rid OF pimplas, boils,
letter, &c. use Lindsey Blood Ssarcher."
Sold by all druggists.
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1880-07-22
~ Il - - - '.

Where IS the tried and veteran
Statesman the Democracy were 90
ing to put up for President in 1880 {?
The ghost of Vallan iigham answers,
'Dead as Julius Cesar" ''While q
pair Of those hateful shoulder straps
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1880-07-22
Young Folks Corner.

Young Folks Corner.
No l-POETICAL EEIGMA.
In grasp, but not I'm seize,
In locks, but not I'm keys,
I'm shrubs, but not in trees,
in lakes, alsO in seas,
In butter. but lot I'm cheese,
In ants, but not iu leas,
In bum, bIt not I'm freeze.
In cough, but not in succze,
In birds, hut not iu bees
in tauut, but not iu tease.
in atmosphere, bat not iu breeze
The answer is-if you wish i0 iyu0wit-
Toe name of o well bu1Wn Scottish poet.
uillsbOrO, o.. NICkLE.
No, 2-PRETIEIOE,
I am very curious word,
of letters three, y0U "iu dud
j before me- you place am o.
VIII then pertain 20 the mind.
Nov, 10 the o, prefix am ~
All evil gCtiuus-I condemn,
Instead of M. next place o q. ..
A little insect IWiI be.
Place q before me, and III make
a river, supplyiu- q UarT large lake.
Again, TO U, p-eIE an tt,
I'm region known both near and far.
HiusbOr0, o. NICKLE.
No. 3-sQUARE WORD.
!; A liquid .. A girls name (; 9. TO throw out
4. To scOId.
HillsbOro, o. EICELE.
uulur unr
The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1880-07-22

ATTORNEY AT LA w
Omcs-Rooms . apd ., gcEibbcn's Block, High
S., Iliishoro, q. n0v&9 -
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05
{" How Long Have l to Live!''

It is not every one who asks himself
this question, because, strangely
enough, it is the belief of most persons
that their lives will be exceptionally
lengthy. However, lifc-assurance COM
panies are aware OF the credulous weak
nesses of those whose lives they assure,
and have therefore compiled numerous
tables Of expectancy of life for their
own guidance, which are carefully re-
fcrred to before Il policy is granted.
The following is one of these well-au-
thenticated tables in use among London
assurance companies. showing the aver
age length OF life ut varit US ages. In
the first column we have the present
ages of persons of average health, and
in the second column we are enabled to
peep, as it were. behind the scenes of
an assurance Office. and gather from
their table the number of years they
will give us to live. This table has been
the result of careful calculation, and
seldom proves misleading. OF course,
sudden and premature deaths. as well
as lives unusually extended, OCCASION
ally occur, but this is a table of the
average expectancy of life of an ordi-
nary man or woman:
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05
E:lr.,:.: tie a,taA to Lie.

Mrs. V. }. Yost, OF Metropolis.
passed through tie city Ia It evening,
on her way home from :Iot Springs,
whcr. She had been to see her husband,
who is stopping there for his health.
Severtl days since Mrs. Yost received
a dispatch from Hot Springs saying her
husband was dead. She fastened to
Cairo, soroly stricken with sorrow,
expecting to receive his body here
Here she received another dispatch
saying her husband was not deaa.
These different dispatches COMPOUNDED
her, and she fastened on to the Springs
to find out his situation for herself.
There the contradictory kilograms
were explained to her. To all appear
ances her husband was dead, and he
was laid out as dead person. Blu
after the lapse of several hours it was
discovered that the dead body did not
grow cord as it should. A consultation
Of physicians was held, there being
nine in council. The majority insisted
that Mr.. Yost was dead; but one, DR..
Reed. insisted that he was not dead.
In Difference to his opinion. two gal.
vanic batteries were applied to the
body, and Immediately it began to show
signs Of life. Bringing the dead back
to conscious life was q slow process,
but was eventually accomplished, and
Nj. Y0st has been gaining ever since,
until he is now able to partake Of a
fair meal, converse, write, etc., and ne
appears to have better prospect for
recovering his health than be has had
for some months.
This Is one Of the marvellous cases
we occasionally read Of, but il seldom
brought home to the knowledge Of one
with whom they are acquainted. 0airo
(lu.) Ayg1s.
The weakness Of the present Amesr
Of Afghanistan. and his evident inabili.
u to control his troops, have suggest
ed to the authorities the idea Of chang
ing his style and title from Yakoob
Khan to Yakoob Khan't. Lossdos
JNdy,
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05
Applaudins Himself

That quaint and original genius,
Samuel L. Clemens-Mark Twain told
q story at his own expense while break
fasting with . journalistic friend the
other morning, which is too good to be
lost, and which by his consent is now
published for the first time. There had
been some talk at the table about ban
quets, when Mr.. Clemens remarked
with smile and his peculiar drawl:
Speaking Of banquets reminds me
OF rather amusing incident that oc-
CURED to me during my stop in smoky,
dirty, grand old London. I received
an invitation to attend q banquet there,
and l went. It was one of those ire
mendous dinners where there are from
eight hundred to nine hundred invited
guests. hadn't been used to that sort
Of thing, and I didn't feel quite at
home. When we took our seats at the
tables noticed that at each plate was
q little plan of the hall, with the posi-
ton of each guest numbered, 80 that
one could see at q glance where friend
was seated by learning his number.
Just before We fell t., some ore the
Lord Mayor, ayr whoever was bossing
the OCCASION aros''::nd began to read
\ list of those preseut-No. l, Lord So
and-so, No. 2, the Duke of Something
brother, and so on. When this indi-
vilual read the name of some prOmi.
nent political character or literary ce-
lebrity, it would be greeted with more
or less applause. The individual who
was reading the names did so in 50
monotonous q manner that / became
somewhat tired, and began looking
about for something to engage my At
tention. I found the gentleman next
to me on the right q well-informed per-
sonage, and I entered into conversation
with him. I had never seen him be-
fore, but he was good talker and
enjoyed it. Suddenly, Just as he was
giving me his views upon the future re-
ngious aspect of Great Britain, our ears
were assailed by . deafening storm Of
applause. Such . clapping Of hands l
had never heard before. It sent the
blood to my head with q rush, and 1
got terribly excited. I Strengthened up
and commenced clapping my hands with
all my might. moved about excitedly
in my chair, and clapped harder and
harder. Who is itp' I asked the gen.
tleman on my right. Whose name
did he read?'
"'Samuel L. Clemens he answered.
Il stopped applauding. I didn't clap
any more. It kind of took the life out
of me, and I sat there like mummy,
and didn't even get up and bow. 1t
was one of the most distressing fixes I
ever got into, and it will be many day
before I forget it. ''-Chicago Times.
A LADY in Southern Louisiana sold
five hundred dollars worth of preserved
FIGS the other dav.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05
4 Ellie wins q Bride,

The news of the curious sequel of a
love affair, says Portland, Oregon,
paper, has just reached US here from
Port Townsend. A certain young man
in that county fell in love with a beau
tiful young lady residing near Port
Townsend. His passion being prompt
~ reciprocated, marriage was soon pro-
posed; but the young lady's parents
would have none Of this. The father
and belligerent uncle threatened to do
the young Romeo serious personal in
jury in case his attentions to his
tiance were continued, and forbade
him ever again entering the premises.
The young lady is represented as hav-
ing been bitterly prosecuted on account
OF her refusal to discountenance the dis
carded sutton. The young man, be-
coming aware of this fact, determined
at once to eonsummate the nuptials.
Accordingly, procuring license and
the services Of the necessarily-consti-
tuted authority. and withal q good Win.
chester rifle, repaired at once to the
abode of the young woman's parents.
Encountering the father and the irate
uncle in the yard, he babe them $. hands
off" declaring that they had threatened
to do him personal injury, and that in
the eyes of the law he would be justified
in doing serious execution with his rife
IN case they attempted to execute Them.
and right there. before the gaze Of the
two astonished belligerents, with one
eye fixed on them, the other on the fair
one BY his side. and with one hand
clutching his riao and the other grasp
ing that Of his affianced, the nnptial
departed.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05
Astonishing Faith.

About eleven or twelve years back
Mr.. Disraeli was in Leeds, and he was
was waited upon by the Secretary of a
certain institution in that town, who
asked him to give q lecture or an ad.
dress. He first made several excuses,
then refused utterly, and at last, being
further pressed, said: "Wen, l will
come and give you an address this time
ten years." With that assurance the
Secretary went away and waited. The
ten years rolled along, and at their ex-
piration he came to London, sought
and obtained an interview with the
Premier, reminded him of his promise,
and claimed it's fulfllment: The great
man had. of course, forgotten all about
the matter, but when it was brought to
his recollection he again made polite
excuses, pointed out that circumstances
in the meantime had greatly changed,
and that he had other duties to attend
to now. But the Secretary was an old
fashioned man; he had the curious and
obsolete idea that promise was
promise and ought to be carried out,
and said as much. "And did you
really believe at that time," said his
Lordship, "that I should carry out
that promise?'' :. Certainly. was the
reply, If you were still alive and able
to do it, .Well," said the Premier,
In q musing tone, sit is truly astonish-
Ing what faith people have in me-" He
did not deliver the lecture, and is still,
therefore, considered to have broken
his word by the Secretary Of the insti-
tuition. London Cor. Manchester Exam.
liner.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05
More Years
A. g

Our readers will easily gather from
the above tabulated statement the num-
Der of years to which their lives, ac-
cortling to the law of averages, may
reasonably be expected to extend
UurNcr'S Rnznr.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05
Miss T. Westphal

Keeps on hand large an we II a
sorted stock of MILLINERY, FANCY
GOODS and ZEPHYR WOOL, opposite
the Union Hotel, between Second
and Third North streets.
NEW ULM, MINI.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05

The temperature of the human
body during complete rest in bed has
been the subject of some interesting
observations recently described to the
French Academy by NJ. Bonnal, who
finds that the minimum temperature il
between midnight and three o'clock 4
m, and the maximum temperature be-
tween two o'clock p. m. and four
o'clock P. M, except in summer, when
Il may be delayed until eight p. m.
From nine o'clock p. m. the tempera-
ture sinks gradually to the minimum,
though sometimes the descent about
midnight is very rapid. Sleep or wax
ing. abstinence or digestion, age orsex,
do not modify the course Of the tenn
peraturc. 4 the body y only q perfect
rest s.z. - . ..
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05


TO make the hair stay in crimp,
take two pennyworth of gum arabic and
add to it just enough boiling water to
dissolve it. When dissolved add
enough alchohol to make it rather thin.
Let this stand all night, and then bottle
it to prevent the alcohol from evaporat.
ing. This put on the hair at night, aft
or it is done up in paper or pins. will
make it stay in crimp the hottest day,
and is perfectly harmless. -E1cAange.
The pulpit Of the First Congrega-
stlonal Church of Columbus, Ohio-the
Rev. Robert G. Hutchins, pastor-has
been "tapped," go to speak, for gem
eral circulation. That IS to say, . tele-
phone was recently adjusted so that the
minister's words might be conveyed
over the wires to any part Of the city.
The experiments thus made are regard
ed as very successful. At the Office Of
the State Journal, g web Is 1t Ill other
places where the wires were in ne, the
music Of the organ, the prayer and tho
sermon were distinctly heard. This in-
cident Is suggestive Of Whist may como
to pass in the future. The wires may
be In great demand on Stormy Sun.
day, and the preacher may.realH have
. good audience while holding forth 70
. array fempty pews.
New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-05

A LADY in Southern Louisiana sold
five hundred dollars worth of preserved
FIGS the other daY.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-03-04
"Did YOU try the Methodist 30 I asked

Now you're shouting" he said with some
enthusiasm. Nice road, eh? Fast time and
plenty of passengers. Engines carry pow
er of steam, and don't you forget it; steam
gauge shows hundred and enough all the
| time. Lively road; when the conductor
shouts 'all aboard YOU can hear him to the
next station. Every train lamp shines like
headlight. Stop over checks given on all
through tickets; passengers drop of the
train as often as they like. do the station two
or three days and hop on the next revival
train that comes laundering along Good.
| whole-souled, companionable conductors !;
amt road in the country where the pas
sengers feel more at home. No passes ;
every passenger pays full traffic rates for his
ticket. Wesleyan house air brake on all
trains. too. Pretty safe road. but didn't
ride over it yesterday"
MAY be YOU went TO the Congregational
church ?" i said
Popular road said the brakeman, ..an
old road, too one of the very oldest in the
country. Good road bed and comfortable
cars. Well managed road too; directors
don't interfere with division superintend-
ents and train orders. Roads mighty popu-
lar, but its pretty independent. too See.
down east discontinue one of the oldest
stations on this line two or three years ago
But its mighty pleasant road to travel on.
Always has such pleasant class of passen-
gers"
Perhaps YOU tried the Baptist ?" guessed
once more.
"Ah. ha." said the brakeman. shes
daisy. isn't she? River road; beautiful
curves sweep around anything TO Keep close
to the river. but its all steel rail and rock
ballast. single track all the way and not a
side track from the road house to the ter
minus. Takes heap Of water to run her
through; double tanks at every station. and
there isn't an engine in the shops that can
pull a pound or run mile in less than two
guagcs. But 1t runs through a lovely
country these river roads always do : ri,er
on one side and hills on the other and its
steady climb up the grade all the way till
the run ends where the fountain head Of the
river begins. Yes, sir. I'll take the river
road every time for a lovely trip; sure con
nec;ions and good time. and no prairie dus,
blowing in at the windows. And YESTERDAY
when the conductor came round for the tick
cts with a little basket punch. didn't ask
him to pass me. bu, | paid my fare like a
little man-twenty-ti,e cents for an hours
run and a concert by the passengers throwed
in. tell YOU; Pilgrim. YOU take the river
road when YOU want
But just here the long whistle from the
engine announced station. and the brake
man hurried 10 the door shouting
"Iions,ille, This train makes no stop be
tween here and Indianapolis"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-03-04

sight Of camp, and though it was dusk he
could see quite plainly for half the distance
More than fifty shots were fred at him, and
then pursui, began. but he reached the
woods and made his escape.
He was one day scouting up the valley
having on a mixed uniform. when he sud
denly came upon two ferocious looking
guerillas while crossing thick wood. They
we're seated on log back to him, but at the
sound of his step they sprang up and COW
cred him with their carbines. 1t would have
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-03-04
An Innocent Abroad.

The other day the police at the Union DE.
pot noticed feeble looking old man wan
derlng IN and out to Kill time until his train
should depart, and as he several times dis
PLAYED quite roll Of bills he was cautioned
To look out for pickpockcts and confidence
men.
Wouldn't anybody rob an old man like
me. would ,hey?' he innocently asked
The warning was repeated, but he logged
around as before. and after a time was seen
IN consultation with two strangers. who had
walked him around TO the wharf. An officer
got him away from them and angrily said
didn't | warn YOU against strangers
Those fellows are after your money"
But how can they git i, when | have il
in my pocket and my hand on it all the
time p
We'll. YOU look out"
"les, I'll look ou, bu, don't want to be
unci,il. When ANYBODY talks to me like
TO talk back
The strangers soon had him on the string
again and in about quarter Of an hour they
left him in hurried manner, and he saun-
tered into the depot with his wallet in his
hand
There you've let EN- beat YOU" exclaim-
ed the officer. ''lIow much did YOU lend
them ?"
wall, they wanted twenty dollars" he
slowly replied.
And YOU handed it over, OF course p
Il gave EN- fifty dollar bill and got
thirty back
We'll, You'll never see the bill again"
Il kinder hope not !" he chuckled as he
drew down his eve. II was a counterfeit
bill which my son found in Troy, and being
aS am very old and innocent and not up to
the tricks OF the wicked world. guess III
get into the cars before somebody robs me
OF my boots If any one should come
around looking for me please say I'm no, a,
home. = Free Press.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-03-04
A Royal Huntress.
The Empress Of Austria sas = Lever Of
the Chase.

the Chase.
The Empress Elizabeth Of Austria has
perfect health, the spirits of child and the
bloom Of youth. and it has come from her
constant exercise in the open air and on
horseback. Gen. Grant is not better Judge
of horses fine points than she, and Rosa
Bonheur does not take more pleasure in fine
groupings of blooded beasts than does the
Queen of the Magyars. Elizabeth is an
early riser: ) O'Clock sees her at breakfast
and an hour afterward, no matter where she
happens to be stopping, she is in the saddle
or walking in the open air. Her habits of
life are perfectly simple and perfectly regu-
lar. Not a woman lives less ostentatiously
than she when away from the ceremonious
court. She believes that her open air exer-
cises. have kept her beautiful. TO the poor
she is silent and constant friend, and many
are the noble acts that might be related of
her majesty in every quarter where she has
been. Yearly. however, her magnificent
steeds, a stud of them, some forty in num-
Der, are hurried into the cars, and she is off
for the foxes in Ireland. The fox hunt over,
she is back to the quiet Of Godole. In the
affairs Of state she concerns herself not at
ALL This is her husbands business and his
ministers, and the whole Hungarian people
say amen, for they would rather see their
Queen following the hounds than see her
mixed up with the politics of the state. The
pictures one sees Of the Empress, striking
as they are, do not do her Justice. In ap-
pearance, Elizabeth is everybody's ideal Of a
queen. She is tall and slender, and in every
movement is grace and majesty itself. She
has dark brown hair, and more of it than
any woman in her empire, and Austria is
famous, too, for the beautiful hair of its
women. 1t is cut square, or "banged,"
across q square forehead, and fringed above
a pair of splendid eyes a. dark as ITSELF
When flowing. this wealth Of brown hair
reaches nearly to her feet. Her complexion
is fair, her face slightly oval, and her figure
is excellent in its curves and outline She
knows how to dress, and how to wear Jewels,
and how to look even handsomer than she
is. But, when she will look very handsome,
she mounts her fine chestnut mare, lets her
hair to the winds. gives her steed the reins,
and then everybody thinks II there is
Diana anywhere any more, it is this En-
press.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-03-04

A PUZZLED PARsoN.-An old gentleman
from the East, Of clerical aspect, took the
stage from Denver south in ante-railroad
days. The journey was not altogether =
safe one, and he was not re-assured by the
sight Of number of rifles deposited in the
coach, and nervously asked for what they
were.
Perhaps you'll find out before you ge, to
the Divide" was the cheering reply.
Among the passengers was particularly
lit seemed to him) fierce looking man, grid
ed with belt full of revolvers and cart
ridges, and clearly road agent or assassin.
Some miles out, this person, taking out
large flask, asked, Stranger, do YOU irri-
ga,e2"
III you mean drink, sir, do not"
ado you object, stranger, to our irriga-
ting?"
NO, sir" And they drank accordingly
After further distance had been trav-
ersed, the supposed brigand again asked,
Stranger. do you fumigate2"
'lf you mean smoke, sir, do not
'Do YOU object, stranger, to our fumiga-
ting9"
No, sir" And they proceeded to smoke.
AT the dining place, when our friend
came to tender his money, the proprietor
said, ''iour bills paid"
who paid it,"
That man"-pointing to the supposed
bighwayman, who, on being asked if he had
not made mistake, replied, Not a, all.
You see, when We saw that you didn't irri-
gate and didn't fumigate, We knew that YOU
was parson. And your bills are all right
as long as you travel with this crowd.
We've got respect for the Church-you
bet'' 1t was no highwayman, but re-
spectacle resident of Denver-[A A.
HAYES, Jr., in Harper's .Nagazine for March.