davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
ABOUT WOMEN.


The woman who pretend to laugh at
love is like the child who sings at night
when it is afraid.
A bachelor, according to the latest
definition, is man who has lost the OPP
portunity of making woman miserable.
Two young damsels on q certain street
have each nine fellers. The old women
in the neighborhood think the affair will
end in baseball match.
A Brooklyn colored woman has inst
procured divorce from the SON of the
King of Ashantee. She saws love in
Ashantee is several degrees below love in
cottage.
A Chicago girl fell senseless when she
saw her sweetheart with glass Of beer
at his lips. Such cold-hearted selfishness
was enongh to make any girls head
swim.
No woman, however nervous, has o
right to wake up her husband from a
sound sleep to tell him, on his inquiring
what's the matter. Nothing, only I
wanted to know if you were awake"
Mrs. Elizabeth Cady Stanton thinks
that the lot of American women is pre-
ferable to that of the sex in any other
part of Christendom, but there are one
or two things where there is still room
for improvement.
An Oil City maiden, who had just re-
covered from two-days' attack of green
apple cramps, recited in public that
touching poem, 'Go feel what l have
felt" with such emphasis that it brought
tears to the eyes of the corner grocer.
A hundred years ago, when you called
on girl she kissed you good bye. Now,
if you suggest anything of the sort, her
father calls you into the library and asks
you what you are worth. Are we q ma
ton? And is this progress?
A sailor was recently before a magis
trate for beating his wife, when the mag
istrate attempted to reach his heart by
asking him if he did not know that his
wife was the weaker vessel" eff she
is, she ought!not to carry so much sail, .
replied Jack.
Branch notices that American women are
following in, the footsteps of their Eu-
ropean sisters a2d cultivating avoirdupois
Ease and freedom from anxiety develop
it, and prosperity and plumpness go hand
in hand.
A young lady of Chester County, Penn
sylvania, has agreed to marry a young
man Immediately after the election if
Hancock is elected; but if Garfield is
elected they are to wait four years.
A lady at White Sulphur Springs is
compared to the mother of the Gracchi,
because, when asked by reporter for a
description of her dress, she said: II
don't wear a very handsome costume,
but have the incest husband and two of
the sweetest children in the room"
A man at Kansas City could not win
the girl whom he wanted, and therefore
married her sister. The wife soon learned
the truth, and advised that the mis-
take be rectifed The sister assented
and divorce, followed by marriage
ceremony, has apparently settled matters
to the satisfaction of all parties.
A Baltimore heiress fixed herself up as
homely woman of middle age, and got
into street-car in which were four of
her suitors. As one of them wanted to
get off, he got up and let her have his
seat. She supposed that he went to ride
upon the platform, and of course accept
ed him when he proposed. Some men
are born to luck.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

The OLD SoNGs.-In the old songs
there was invariably display of work
manship of respectable kind, and oc
casionally the skill of the writer rose
above the respectable level, while in
literary sense the new songs are for the
most part contemplate. If the texture
of those now silent ditties was occasion
ally coarse, it was entirely free from an
unwholesome SAVIOR The fun in them
was the rough fun of back-slapping, rib
punching farces of the period. Robust,
and not seldom clumsy, humor, but
unquestionably humor. ''John Jones"
''The Burial Club" 1.-THE Cork Leg"
"Never buy Tripe on a Friday" and
many other unctuous tol-de-rol ditties
whose titles do not readily recur-they
are in the memory locked, but the key is
for the moment mislaid-served as a
lyrical safety-valve for the boisterous
animal spirits of the time, the like of
which We are unhappiiy not provided
with the year 1880.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
The Press In France.

The peculiar position of the press on
the other side of the Channel is, says
the 4 :tt Mall Gazette, being illustrated by
flesh legal eccentricities. An individual
having been convicted of defamation be-
fore correctional tribunal, the court
ordered the sentence to be published in
three Journals which were named. The
conductors of one of these Journals re-
fused on the ground, among others,
that they could not be compelled to ex-
ecute judicial decision in which they
were not concerned, and that in any
case publication ought to be paid for
Next day came 9'sommation" from the
Procureur General, ordering the free
publication of the sentence under one of
the articles of decree of 1852, by which
is laid down that the managers of
newspapers are bound to publish at
the head Of the paper, and free of
charge, all notices of authentic infor-
of public authority. Again there re-
fusal, and the managers were summoned
before the correctional tribunal. The
case being dismissed, it was carried to
the court of appeals, which confirmed
the decision give in the court below. A
further appeal to the court of cessation
however, has resulted in the expression
of an opinion that the journal in ques-
tion was bound to make the insertion
demanded, and that the depositaries of
public authority were, by the decree of
1882, put in possession of right of the
mode of exercising which they are the
sole judges. AS Is pointed out by more
than one Parisian journal, If this prin-
ciple is to be definitely accepted, the
press will be more than ever at the
mercy of an arbitrary administration.
The meaning and intention of the de-
cree of 1852, it is contended, was to give
the depositaries Of public authority the
right of contradicting an erroneous re.
port through the columns of the Journal
by which that report was originally
circulated. AS the law has been now
interpreted, however, the way has been
opened for most monstrous abuses.
1t would be possible to fill the front page
of a journal day by day with tofficial
prose-" and ruin it both as a commercial
speculation and as a political organ.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

THE FEMALE NovELIsT's HERO. the
old times when literature was chiefly in
the hands of men, women were elevated
to visionary pinnacle; but now it is the
turn of the stronger sex, and there are
few things which more surprise the male
reader than the fattering picture which
he finds presented to him of his own
species in the shape of heroes who to him
are very questionable specimens of the
race. Once more we repeat
there is nothing so inscrutable as q wo-
mans hero. Being perfect as he is, he
may conduct himself like the basest
hound, and nobody thinks any worse of
him. He remains to all parties as high
souled and magnanimous being as ever.
even after this extremely silly and futile
attempt to lead the conscientious little
heroine astray. This uncon-
scious homage ought to soften the gen.
tiemen of the newspapers; but here, we
fear, another principle comes in, and
your critic, who feels himself in every
way moro desirable specimen of
humanity than the much Landed hero.
but who knows that no such appreciation
awaits him, becomes jealous of his imag-
mary brother Blackwood's Magazine.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
FAILURE.

Long ago you said to me: .sswees,
glorious Kingdom before You lieap
You pointed It out 10 my willing feet,
You lighted the way with your loving eyes.
Many The triumphs the years have brought;
Keen the pieRauFea, but keoner the pain.
stand by your side in the realm OF thought,
And ask myself. Il Il loss or gain7
You give to me generous need OF praise,
You give 70 me honor and trust, know;
But you think with regret OF my simple ways,
Ny fond unwisdom OF long ago.
Though speak with the wisdom OF gods and
men
This Il the bitter that spoils my sweet)
know full we'll that never again
Can stir your pulse by q single beat.
You are not TO blame-thers Is nausht to be
said
Ever by fate IL our planning crossed.
did the best that could. love.led,
For the sake OF winning what have lost
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
Adviee to Young Men.

To Hon. William e. Dodge, in his re-
cent lecture on "Old New York" or
New York as it was Fifty Years Ago"
when he was young man of twenty-five
years, gave the following financial advice
to young men:
"All young men should aim to save
something; even at the expense of linn
tied wardrobe, and many little things
they think necessary. If there were none
but young men here, l would say that
from the first year when entered store
with salary of fifty dollars, to my last
year, when as q salesman. I received very
large pay for those days, never failed
to save part, and when l started in
business, those savings and my expert
ence were all my capital.
The advance here given. illustrated by
such an excellent example, is worth its
weight in gold to any one who prac-
tices upon it. Almost every one who is
in working condition can make his ex-
penses less than his income. Ii the lat
ter be small, he can cut down the former
SO as to leave small surplus each year.
If, on the other hand, his income be
large, he can make a large saving, with
out any meanness or sacrifice of decent
appearances. What he thus saves by
not expending it, is his capital; and if he
saves something each year, then with
each year his capital increases. This
course, pursued for thirty or forty years,
will make any man moderately rich, and
some men very rich, unless the mishaps
of business shall sweep away the accu-
mutation.
One difficulty with many young men
in the outset of life is, they do not I'M
derstand the art of practical economy.
They spend too much in the little foolish
and unnecessary ways, and sometimes IN
doubtful, if not immoral ways. They
waste their earnings, and live faster and
better than they can afford to live. They
keep themselves poor forever, unless
they are radically changed. They refuse
to forego present pleasure in order to
secure much greater future good. The
result is that, no matter how long they
live or how much they receive, they con-
sumo all they earn, and as to any accu-
mutation by saving, end each year just
where they began it. The moment their
working power ceases, then by sickness
or age, they become objects of charity.
They have nothing to fall back upon for
their own support, or that of those who
are dependent upon them.
The advice of Mr.. Dodge, reduced to
practice, would give to life very differ
ent show in the way of results. The ad-
vice embraces the principle of thrift by
economy !; and economy consists in
spending less than one earns, and as
much less as is practicable, by throwing
overheard imaginary wants and supply
ing only those that are real.
If one is poor, which is the condition
in which most persons must start life,
then SO much the greater the reason why
he should start with the saving principle
IN the very outset. BY saving he will
learn how to save. 1t will become his
habit to do so, and, under ordinary Cir
cumstances, he will accumulate enough
in a series of years to make himself COM
Portable, needing no mans charity to
supply single want. We advise all
men to act upon this excellent theory.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
SELECTED MISCELLANY.


Sin may be clasped SO close We can not
see its face.
One to-day is better than ten to-mor-
sows.
Reason and virtue alone can bestow
liberty.
No denunciation is SO eloquent as the
final influence OF good example.
Complain not If anything be i'll, but
be thankful that it is no worse.
Eggs that come to market packed in
layers ought to be fresh enough.
When strong nature grows tender,
it possesses the most fascinating infu-
ence in the world.
When religion is made science, there
is nothing more intricate; when it is
made duty, nothing more easy.
The man who leaves two thirds of o
cigar in dark nook on the front-door-
stoop when he goes to see his girl will
make thrifty husband.
Talmage declares he would rather be
Modoc Chief in the day of judgment
than plundering United States reser-
yation officer. Well, what's to hinder
him ?
The English hold frequent, potato ex-
hibitions, with large prizes offered for
the best, and the number of new yarie-
ties yearly announced to the public is
very large.
1t is said that sealskin coats will be
very fashionable this winter. As this
item may prevent numerous marriages
we hate to give it, but live journal is
expected to give all the news.
A Kansas City reporter records the
fact that the defeated candidate took
his way to the train, wrapped in gloom
and new store clothes. The gloom was
an elegant fit, but the store clothes were
too short in the legs and very baggy
about the shoulders.
In Cincinnati the women wanted to
vete for President ''just for fun" but
they couldn't agree whether to have the
polls in a milliner's parlor or an ice
cream saloon, SO we never shall know
how much majority Hancock would have
received.
Lest it may escape the attention of
some whom it may concern, we take this
occasion to mention that leap year is
drawing to close, and that clergymens
fees are as low as eyer Boston Globe.
VIII somebody take pity on the young
man? Come, ladies, he must be great
catch, seeing that he expects you to pay
the parsons commission.
Mr.. John Addington Symonds begins
n poem, 81 had two lovers; now both are
lost to me-" Now, John Addington, ex-
cuse familiarity, but you might have
known better. No man ever undertook
to get along with two loves who didn't
make failure of it. You should have
profted by the experience of others.
A colored widow in Lexington, who is
now drawing pension of So month
from the Government, recently rejected
an offer of marriage, remarking by way
of explanation: eff does, de Gubment
will take my pension way, an nary mig
ger in Kaintuck is wuff $S q month to
me-"
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
Change ofI.oeattan

Mr.. ]. B. Knapp, the commission mer-
chant, has been compelled to change his
location in order to accommodate his
growing patronage, and has accordingly
located at No. 267 First street, in a fine
brick store, where he has ample storage
for his customers. Mr.. Knapp is build
ing up splendid reputation as busi-
ness man, and we are glad to chronicle
his prosperity.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
Arans,nr LIE Readers.

An alarm of fire at midnight is startling
thing, but not half so startling to many:to hear It
as would be the sudden knowledge Of their own
dangerous physical condition. Thousands Of
thousands are hurrying to their graves because
they carclessly Indifferent to the insdious in
roads of disease and the means of cure. 1t is
the mission Of Fl. II. Warner & Co., with their
Safe Kidney and Liver Cure, to arouse men 10 q
sense of their danger and then cure them.-
Memphis appeal.
The Chicago 7TDles says Warmers Safe Kid
ney and Liver Cure is highly endorsed by min
istors, judges, physicians. surgeons, by men of
literary and scholarly distinction, and by fndi-
yidaals in all the walks of life.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

Every music teacher or musician in
Oregon, Washington Territory on idaho,
who viii send their name and address to
Warren's Music House, 80 Morrison St.,
Portland, will receive free for three
months, copy of his Musical Rerie,D,
containing three new pieces of music
each month, besides current musical
news.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
"Becn Down TO IndIana.v .

Yesterday forenoon, when it became
known around the City Hall that there
was Detroiter in ono of the offices who
had just got back from Indiana, there
was rush of politicians anxious to hear
how matters stand in that State.
"How does Hancock stand ?" asked
one.
"How's Garield?" queried q second.
Each OF the dozen men around him
had some query pertaining to politics.
Eyes, I've been down to Indiana,
calmly replied the individual, "a he tip
ped his chair back. 81 was in sixteen
different counties, and heard great
many opinions expressed"
What majority will Hancock get ?"
Hancock You mean Garfield" said
the second man.
Eyes. heard good many opinions
expressed, continued the man, ''and the
excitement in every town was at fever
heat
"Hurrah for Hancock"
'Hurrah for Garfieldr'
Yes, heard great deal hurrahing.
You people up here have no idea of the
hard work being done there by both
sides. On every railroad found"
Found majority for Hancock
For GarfeldT
"On every railroad train I found men
canyassing the political situation" con.
tinued the man.
eyes, but what did the leaders seem to
think?
81 didn't talk with any of them"
'Well, what was the drift ?"
1t didn't drift"
"What xe want tn know said n ward
leader, pushing to the front, sis your
unb ased opinion, based on what you
saw down there, as to how Indiana will
go next week"
Well, sir, +"
Keep still back therer yelled a
man.
'eYou keep still yourself p yelled an
other.
"We want your unbiased opinion
put in third.
"Well, went down to Indiana. I saw
my grandmother die. I buried her. I
was in the very centre of the political
excitement, and heard prominent men
in both parties say that"
''You heard 'em say what? Tell us
what they said"
81 heard them say that my grand
mother made the first soft soap in Gen.
trail Indiana All, gentlemen, she was a
good old soul, and you who have had
grandmothers viii certainly excuse my
emotion |"
He put down his head to conceal the
tears, and thirteen men got out of that
on the gallop and left him alone.-[De-
troit Free Press.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

A letter addressed to "the prettiest
girl in Sedalia, No." has been posted
above the window in the post office among
the unclaimed letters. The young
ladies go to the office and look at it, but
are too modest to claim it. A blue-eyed,
stylishly dressed miss looked at the letter
closely, and said to a lady with her: ut
looks like his writing. wish they had
just sent it to me, and not stuck il up
that way in q public place. I'll never get
it now
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

near the Poatofice. Portland, Or, has everything
in the Musical line at reasonable prices. A large
stock of sheet music, books, pianos, musical mer-
chandise, band and orchestra music always ON
hand. Mr.. Warren buys every thing direct from
Eastern houses, and can afford 70 sell cheaper
than any store in Oregon. Send for catalogue.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

NE In making any purchase or In writ
ing I'm response to any advcrtisemenffn
this paper you will please mention the
name Of the paper.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

No JUpaE OF WATERMELoN.-'I say,
Parker, can you tell the difference
between ripe watermelon and a decayed
head Of cabbage r. Give it up; can't
tell" Brown laughed softly, as he said,
You'd be nice man to send to buy o
watermelon, you would"
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

Mr.. TenRgson Is reportad to have said
when asked what he thought of the
poetry of the day, that he was surprised
at his high standard of general excel
lence.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
The Great English Remedy


Is q never-failing Cure
for Nervous Debility
Exhausted Vital. y.
Seminal Weakness,
Spermaforrhea, LOBF
MANHOOD, Impo-
tency, Paralysis. and
all the terrible effects
Of Self Abuse, youth.
fui follies, and exces-
ses Ia ma,urer yesrs-
such as Loss Of Mem.
ory,Lassifude. Noci,ir-
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

mai Emission. Aversion to Society, Dimnezs q
Vision, Noises In the head, the vital futd
passing unobserved In the urine, and many
other diseases that lead to Insanity and death.
DIR. miNTIE will agree to forfeit Five
Hundred Dollars for q case OF this kind the
VITAL ktGSIO OkATIvE( (under his epecial
advice and ireafmentJ Will not cure or for
anything impure or Injurious found in IL.
DR. mtNTlE treats all Private Diseases sue
cessfuliy without mercury. Consultation
Free. Thorough examination and advice, In
Guiding analysis OF urine, IS 90. Price OF Yitas
Restorative, s. 90 psr bottle, or four times
the quantity for $40 90; sent 10 any address
on receipt of price, or Z. D. D.. secure from OF.
servation, and in private name IL desired, BY
A. Il. MINTIE, M. ID.
III kearny street. San Francisco, Cal
DIR. MIETIE'S KIDNEY REHRnx.
NEPRETICuH q. cures all kinds of Kidne,
and Bladder Complaints. Gonorrheaa. Gieel,
bottle; six bottles for SIS 90.
DIR. MINTlEss DANDREaON PILLS
are the best and cheapest DYsPErsIA and
BILIOUS cure In the market For sale by ali
druggists,
HODGE, DAVIS d CO. Portland. or.
Wholesale Agents. marlftf
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

There is an Indiana woman only twen-
ty- three years old, who, when she went
to indianapolis recently, to purchase
pair of shoes, could find none large
enough. and had to leave her measure.
This called for pair of extra "fifteens."
the last being foot in length and five
inches wide. 1t should, perhaps, be
stated, however, that the woman herself
weighs five hundred and forty-seven
pounds, end is seven feet two inches
in height.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23
Use Rose Pills.
BLYMYER BELLS,
For Churches, Sehaols end Fire Alarm.
SILVER HEDAL

8HLtEk - EUAKf
Awarded by the Mechanics, Institute at San
Francisco, September. 1881. Read what the
Jurors say of them In their Report:
eThese bells are made of q patented conn.,
posite metal, partly Of steel. and unlike that
In any other bells used. The highest eneomi-
ums are passed upon them for their CLEAR
NESS, BEAUTY and VOLUME OF sOIsNDs
and IL "a said they can be furnished for less
bell metal.p
Send for illustrated catalogue to the General
Agents for the Pacific Coast, LINFa RTH. RICE
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-23

The modest girl is not fast. 1t is not
with the Maud s. horse.
The Republican journal. [volume] (Belfast, Me.) 1829-current, 1880-05-20

The New Brunswick, the steamer that has been
chartered for an addition to the sanford line, so as
to make a daily boat between Bangor and Boston,
is at Portland, repairing and making ready for the
route
The funeral of Mrs. Hall took place from the
Baptist church on Tuesday. Her husband was in
Dacotah al thc time of his wifc's DEATH and came to
the funeral, the body being kept by an cmhalming
process.
Early on Wednesday morning the persons about
The railroad station observed there strangely At
tired women She had stockings, but no shoes.
while A flannel shirt was on her head, 18th in arm
hanging on each side. Word was sent 70 City Mar
Shall Gates, hut before he reached the station the
woman had disappeared. She WAS subsequently,
found in the road half way to the upper bridge.
soon after the marshall found her, her husband APP
pcarcd and tooh charge OF her. She proved to lie
Mrs. Thomas Nicker7on. Of >wauye, for some
time insane, and who had secretly lcft her nome.
sEAHsroEr. The building occupied BY Albert
George a carriage shop caught fire Wednesday,,
ON the roof from sparks from the chimney, but was
put out with bat very little injury to The huidng...
schools in Union district closed last Friday for
week. on account Of measles and ,iphheria......Thc
li+ salmon caught tni- season by Nathaniel peano
wa sent to Boston, where il sold for dollar pen
po,tnl amounting 10 5l9 Ship David Brown,
capt j. III. ColcorI, iii Il. Johns loalin4 fnr Eri-
to Channel BARK Mary Cood,iI, capt. Lincoln
Gilkty has arrived IN ~rilly. for Falmouth, En4..
Ship Manuel Ila4unA. rcudletan, arrived At No-
kohamt ipril h for New lora......N MADEIRA dis
patch Of MAY r. -sy~ that the bark Emma Y, lIari
nauot this port, picked ~, April 3tth ann 3,th,
of