The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1880-11-13
THE DRUG CLERK.

favored with pineapple syrup.
Yes. very good.
The drug clerk Laughed sardonically /
and said:
of course. Bot then you don't know
what it 10 made of
What do you mean 2
The old mans out. he said, looking
cautiously around the store, aud I'll
let you into some Of the secrets OF the
business, il you won't give me away
Strict secrecy being promised. he
continued:
The old man ms.is that pirespple
syrup, but he dids. make it right from
the fruit. he made it out of old cheese.
that you could smell through fire
proof safe. .FaIl Of skippsfs. too, III
tell you q curious thing about that
cheese. The old man cut of q slice
and brought It up stairs here With him
one night. He laid it on the counter
next morning 1t was gone Come to
look, the little animals 10 II had showed
it on to the floor. wrigsled it down the
stairs and put it back exactly in its
old place in the cheese. The old man
said that was IN extraordinary illus
tration Of che strength Of the home in
stinct in the brute creation
Yes, and our sarssparills syrup be
doctors up by Extracting juice from
boot legs and old trunks. lie distills
ell oar lemon syrup from roofing shin
giles and from chips that We get over
here at the ooopers shop; and when
we rus p,t of rasp bcry ell be wants 10
o handful of red bugs, Q gallon OF coal
oil, and half an hour by himself. And
% Tor the soda water itself.--well, if
people only knew how We use up seid-
htz powders when the soda is short.
the stored be Quilted tya bowling
mob in less'n an hourr
DO you do that kind Of thing o.tenF
Often 10 not the word for it. The
drug business 10 terrific. These porous
plssters. The old man has q rational
reputation for them. He makes 'em
out Of old sunbonnets aud elue-cuts.
up the sunbounets and smears on the
glue; and when you get one of his
plasters on your back it il there for life.
There's man comes in here most every
day to swear At the old man because be
put on one Of our plasters for . lame
back in 1916. time of the Mexican war.
and ~ be couldn't get it off, the skin
grew over it Like the bark OF tree,
You know. That plaster has worked
further sLd further in. until now it's
gone to his lungs. and it pulls at his
left lung in o way TO set him crazy.
He Is q very remarkable chemist-ths
old man. do believe he could make
paregoric out Of umbrellas, and boil
down On illustrated weekly paper into
altar OF roses. He has the blamedest
ingenuity. You wouldn't believe
'Bus your customers generally are
satisfied p
'Oh. yes. You see they don't know.
A doctor sends prescription here writ
ten In dead Language. We don't
bother ourselves TO try TO read IL. i
ask the boy what's the matter with the
patient Then put little cayenne
pepper In some molasses and touch heI
up with sssafptida. to give her good
strong smell. and drop in some squill:
and ipecac, to make kiud OF gooeness
In the stomach. and stir IN some worm
wood. 10 make her take hold Of tho in.
tsriog department. aud then let her go
Patient thinks it splendid because II
tastes nasty; and the old man gets The
money aud so everybody's happy
There's woman around in Jones stree,
with lumbago Who deals with us. and
one day when fnrgot to pat the ASA
fetida in, the letien,, she sent arounc
and Threatened To prosecute us fal
malpractice. The old man liked up the
next bottle 50 that you could hav,
smelt itin Asiatic Turkey when tn,
cork vas out. That seemed TO calm
her.
DO the physicians approve Of tha
kind Of thing z
oh. you know. tho doctors oil worl
share and share with the old man.
o doctor sees woman going TO di
anyhow. he loads her up with drug
aud then collects twenty .tivs per cent
commission from Us Aud 90 when VI
accidentally put In arsenic instead o
glauber salts, aud O convalescent pa
tieut climbs the golden stairs, the doc
tor knows better than to make fus
Abont tho mistake He wipes his eye
and tells the family he saw the ciseas
would be fatal from the first. We hay
new boy here who makes about fou
fatal blundersa week. Never get
hold of any harmless drug when there
deadly poison within roach. The oil
men hires him for economy. Only las
week he sent a quart OF laudanum TO
young clergy lnsn who sent for poi
wine. aud one Of our best customer
lwAs an angel la less than an hour.
That boy wss let 90. perfectly looss. I
10 just a. he pleased. he'd iill all th
osmeteries in town before the mont
was out. Yellow fever snd eholer
combined are not halsas dangerous a
that boy
sWAsrs 10 hef' g.
Why, he is out nov. He took I
Mrs Jones. who has cerebro. spins
meningitis, the medicine thai was ID
tended for Mrs. smiths baby, and IA
baby got Mira Jones's prescription. II
has gone back 10 rectify the mistak,
You just NOTICE when you 90 by Smith
II there isnt Grape on the door. Id,
you pound Of cough lozenges thu
baby VAS wafied into the mystsrios
realms OF the hereafter three quarter
OF en- hour ago. That boy never know
where anything 10 but the gumdrot
and licorice. lie can go straight /
them every time. Here he comes nov
Say. Johnny, did you fx Il all rightg'
M said small boy. who anterc
ut the nscmens. .Ssaith's baby 20,
desc before reached the house. and