Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1880-04-08
ALL SORTS.

Stone-bruises will soon bo looking for
boys.
Where there's a will there's won't
II Puck.
A CRATE humbug -turnip disguised as
horse radish.
How to find chip of the old block
axe the block Boston Transcript
The trees win shortly get up releai
boom of their own Keokuk Gate City
"Deer at any pricel" yelled the hungry
traveller, who ordered yenison fer din,
ner.-[New York News.
An exchange has an article on BREAD.
stuff" Well, it may be. Now give US
an article on Meats tuff."-LOwel
Courier.
Il is well enough to hit the Lail on the
head providing the nail is not the one Oh
the end Of your finger.-LCinGinnati Ga
zette.
A woman was the inventor Of the hay.
press. She got the idea from wishing
she could be hugged on all sides at once
A Londsn society paper says that
American women would be far more
beautiful if they weighed about 20O
pounds apiece.
Let's encourage champion swimmers.
They never get sawed in two. boils new
er bother 'em, and they have got to
swim or sink.
Ducks are so plentiful in Michigan
that they put the butt end Of q gun
against mans shoulder and shoot them
Selves New York Herald.
Sweet meats-Sugar-cured hams-Me-
riden Recorder. Sweet meets-By NOON
light. alone,--Yawcub Strauss. Cold
meets-0ut doors in winter Rich
mond Baton.
The Mayor OF T.eavenworth said he
liked to see boys enjoy t emselyes, and
then turned about and arrested lad
who gave him yolley from beam
shooter. Mayors are always inconsis.
tent.
The latest puzzle is this;
Hard Eggs
Boiled Man.
The trick is TO get the eggs inside of
the man without breaking the shells.
Not single circus in winter quarters
this last year had trainer eaten up, an
elephant ON the rampage or mad rhi-
n0ceros smashing up things. How can
they expect odlaw crowds this summers ?
"sold again." as the cobbler remarked
when he finished tapping pair of shoes.
Rome Sentinel. "Got the tin" a. the
dog remarked when he few down the
street with kettle attached 10 his tail.
Salem Sunbeam.
Who wouldn't be boy? Think oil
the fun boys have. No responsibility.
Clothed fed and housed without n
thought or q care about IT, And yet al
give fly for him II he was.-New Haven
Register
A thiek-headed squire being worsted
by sydney Smith In an argument, took
bis revenge by exclaiming; IF had y
son who was an Idiot, by Jove, I'd make
him parson." "Very probable" replied
sydney; "bnt ] see your father was OF n
different mind"
A slave who ran away from his mas
ter III virginia was set 10 work by Gem
eral Butler, md made to keep ut II,
much 10 his annoyance, which caused
him 10 exclalm: "Golly, Massa Butler,
dis nigger nebber had 10 work so hard
afore; guess dis chile will seeede once
NOAH"
Tue New York Sun has This heading
10 one of It's columns: "C.rculation Of
the sun" Proctor would say tnav ths
"ls an Astronomical error. The sun
dosen't circulate, It's the No 'd."-[New
Orleans Picayune. Sui Don't you give
the Word credit: nobody gels c edit
from the World Boston Jou M OIL
Commerce.
A Dutchman thus describes an accl-
dent: "Vonce ,ong while ago, vent
lntos mine abble orchard, to climb bear
tree TO get some peaches TO make vrow
d plum-pudding nit; and when gels
on the tobermost branch, l vail from
the lowermoSt ljmb, init Won leg on both
sides OF the fence, and like to stove my
outside in."