The Portland daily press., 1880-05-14
The Bold Barber of Sidney,

(New York WORLDLY
1t was that eminent diplomatic Lord Angus
tus Lotus, we believe, who, when minister at
Berlin, expressed an opinion that the universe
in general and the British Constitution in par
ticular must be going to the demnition bow
vows when an English ambassador could be
called upon to ocountersign the credentials of a
young nobleman, the heir of peerage and of
q great estate, who had SO far forgotten his du-
ties to his "order" as actually to take the field
in the Franco Prussian war as the war CORE
spondent of leading journal. His excellency
is now at the antipodes as ruler of the queens
rather troublesome colonies of New South
Wales, and there he has had another electri-
flying experience which must have confirmed
him as pessmist of the deepest dye. At Sgd
ney not long ago Lord Augustus sent for the
first barber of the antipodal capital, the pro-
prietor of "tonsorial palace on Pitt street,
and babe him appear with the implements of
his calling at the Government House at 10 a.
m, prepared to beard the lion in his den, or to
speak more by the card, to shave the Lotus in
his hall. Promptly at 10 the barber drove up
to the governmental residence in the stylish
vehicle known as a hanson cab, and was ush-
cred into the ante-chamber, where he triied
with his razors and brushes for three-quarters
of an hour. Being utterly without respect for
the divinity which should hedge governor
general so far as his barber is concerned and
seeing no reason probably why governor gen.
eral should be any more a hero to his barber
than to his valet, the barber finally sent in a
message to the great man that he could not,
must not and would not wait any longer. Lord
Augustus LOTUS thereupon gave orders to ad-
nit the audacions slave who barbered him
with care. Let us now follow the report of the
Sidney Bulletin for a few lines: "'What is
the charge here?' asked his Excellency out of
idle curiosity. -Four and SIX replied the
tradesman. Tut! tut! Dear mel exclaimed
his Excellency. In Oxford street, London,
they'd never dream of such charge. The
amount seems really outrageous But ham
som has been waiting for me outside for an
hour, your eXcelency, demonstrated the bar
Der. Lord LOTUS said nothing further. and the
barber was paid In due course of time, how
ever, his Excellency's beard demanded further
attentions, and his orderly was sent to the
Pitt street 'tonsorial palace" to bid the Figaro
of Sidney once more appear at the Government
House at 10 o'clock. Give his EXcellency my
respects and say can't 60" replied the man
of strops and shears. do I-ah-understand
you to say you can't attend?" asked the sur
prised orderly. Tell Lord Lotus, if you like"
replied the barber ''that L won't go" The
orderly glared, gasped, reeled to and fro, re-
covered himself by great effort and with
drew. Next appeared at the "tonsorial pal
ace" one OF Lord Augustus sons, who haught-
lily asked the barber if he knew that his mes
sage to the representative of Her Majesty was
considered to be and indeed was highly imper-
tinent? 81 can't help that" was the answer.
"Ill not go to Government House again.
Then" said the young man, ''you had better
take down the royal arms from your door!