The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1880-12-03
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the route of ali evil
Elmira Free Press calls for something
more cheerful than politics.
Snakes are no longer fashionable In
New Jersey. It's live alligators.
"No, 81 " writes the Rochester Her
aid, "eiie It short for chicken"
Sara Be- bardt is the sensation o.
the period . New York-A bad sensa-
ton.
Prominent chin and abundance Of
cheek accompany the successful book
agent.
A great many people make The mis-
take to illuminate Loses in place Of
houses.
When Boston man invites you 70
dinner and heads a postscript II. b., be
means mo beans"
The reform in spelling will 10 re-
viVed eftcr the election, suggests the
Detroit Free Press.
A genuine German count, who steak4s
FIVE languages, IS in jail at Fort Wayne
for stealing saws.
A Nevada ball report says: "Miss
Honola x. was full Of eclat, in fac, the
eclatest lady present"
Boston has "a society for the en-
couragement Of study at home" A
cooking school, maybe.
"Anty, vat makes the little b by cry
sol Do it want It's mndderf Yes,
dear, and its fodder too :"
"Every position in life has its pull
back, said the maiden as sle stopped
down 70 gather al leaves.
The Boston 7Talseyiipt Gays that civ
ilizAtion Is only another form Of barbar-
ism, or words to that effect.
The Boston Transcript felt confident
all along that the ram would come
when the dry weather was over.
A pair Of sqneaking boots entering
church will usually draw more atten-
tion than the most attractive minister.
Theodore Tilton has returned to New
York from Europe. His new lecturs
is entitled 'The World Tomorrow"
The mince pie is little backward
this year, and fears are entertained
that the early frosts have injured the
vines.
The Cleveland Herald says: Good
text to frame and hang in q steamboat
stateroom "In midst of berth We are
in death"
A man who has been successful in
putting up his winters stove may now
safely commence to attend religious
meetings again.
In an Ohio breach of promise suit,
The man was proven SO mean that the
jury awarded no damages for escaping
such a monster.
The Eycum Adrersiser says if 1t
could be possible to live our lives over
again, we would not act just as we bad
done during our 6rst experience.
Physicians now say that the teIe-
phone Is IN, ious to the ear. We pre-
sumo it's "a rain of listening and
hearing no.H that does the harm
A duh OLD lady, being told that a
certain lawyer was lying at the point
of death, exclaimed my gracious
Won't even death stop that man from
lying =
Gambling is not increasing paTtieu
Iarly, but as black woolen stockings art
to be fashionable, there viii probably
be great many blacklegs on the stree
r this winter.
81 think, dear, the dew has com
: menced falling" he said in his softes
!, accents. EYES," she yawned, "I hav
been waiting to hear adieu for somt
: time" He did not call the next ever
! ing.
d "Give Me Ny Heart" is the title
poem sent Ia by 'Penlope" Certain
ly we will send it ~ return mail.
any more of your anatomy is missini
< notify us by telesraPh.-NesO 70.
Graphic.
e The editor was mad enough TO ki
xe somebody when he found that by
ne singular mistake his foreman had p
IL the heading "What we Eat over s
editorial how to feed kogs.-Cise MA
Saturday Night.
y An Oregon preacher had GRO Of h
In horses stolen, and he went to his stu
be and prayed that quickenei canscien
~. might oblige tue thief 70 return
That very night the fellow return
y and-stole the other.
Of A poet asks: When am dead Al
lowly laid. And clods fall hea'
from the spade, who'll think Of m
Don't worry. Tailors and shoemake
a have retentive memories, and you'll n
20 20 be forgotten.
ht The Whitehall Times says the fish
Id Lake Champiip have been SO 10
bit without water Nen it began to raj
,ir for the first time d slk weeks, that tn
we're seen running about with umbr
has over their heads.
"A
mt A young woman in Denver flu
,er herself into cistern, but was fish
bt out. A local paragrapher advised b
81 as follows: Cis turn from your e