The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-09
TWAIN AND DAN DE GUILE.
from the Carson Appeal

. From the Carson Appeal
1t was nearly twenty years ago when Dan
DeQuille and Mark Twain attempted to start
a paper in Mendocino county. They took the
type and material of their recently detunct
newspaper establishment in San Francisco,
and loading the stuff on a big wagon, struck
out into the country to retrieve their fortunes.
They packed their type just as it stood in the
forms, tied up the articles with stout cords by
a process well known to printers, and packing
them closely in boxes, vowed to establish u
newspaper somewhere which would be the
leading exponent of politics and history for
the Pacific Coast. Had not an unfortunate
circumstance taken, place il is quite evident
that the same newspaper which they contem-
plated building would have been alive to-day.
Their journey over the mountains was utterly
uneventful until they reached Simpsons Sta
ton, a spot well known to old travellers on
that route. Here they met a party of emf
grants making for Lower California, and the
latter had with them a small mountain how
itzer which they had brought with them
across the plains.
Twain took a great fancy to this gun, and
offered $50 for it, with two kegs OF powder
thrown in. The emigrants We're glad enough
to part with 1t, as they concluded the time for
its use had passed. Dan thought the pur-
chase of the artillery and military supplies
was a reckless piece of extravaganza, and said
as much, but Twain replied:
"When we start our paper we must fire a
salute. "A newspaper office with artillery has
a big bulge Oh the business. No well regu.
lated office in California should be without a
howitZer. If Il man comes in for a retraction
we can blow Inn into the next county. The
howitzer goes"
This silenced the argument, and the next
day the two journalists took the road with
their printing outfit and artillery.
On the next night they camped in noun
tain ravine fifteen miles from Simpsons, and
after building the usual camp tire fell asleep.
About II o'clock the horses awakened them
by praucing about, and the two journalists
were led to the conclusion that nothing less
than a party of Indians were making arrange
ments for a night attack. In the clear moon
light they could be distinguished about half
a mile away at the foot of the ravine. The
idea Of encountering Indians had nevel~en-
tered the heads of the two fortune seekers,
and they had 10 arms. Suddenly Twain
frightened up, remarking:
THE howitZer."
"We've got nothing but POWDER" said
swell, powder'l scare 'em, and we'll load
her up.'
The piece was Immediately loaded with a
good big charge, and the two men felt quite
certain that the Indians, hearing the roar of
the gun, would beat an unconditional retreat.
The piece was hardy loaded and placed in
position when about fifty of the redskins came
charging up the ravine.
Twain seized a brand from the campfire
and was about to lay it OH the touch-hole,
when Dan yelled "Hold on" as he ahmed
something into the mouth of the piece, and
remarked:
"Turn 'er loose"
The roar of the howitzer echoed through
the lonely forests, and the savages, with fran
tic cries Of pain, reeled dawn the ravine in
wild confusion.
"What in hi did you put in 90 asked
Mark.
"a column of solid %nonparlel and a couple
Of sticks of young spring poetry
"The poetry did the business, Dan. Get
one of your geological articles ready for the
next charge, and l guess it'll let the red devils
out for The present campaign"
The savages again advanced. Mark attend
ed to the powder and Dan sorted the shot, so
to speak.
"Jeems Pixies song, My Mountain Home"
"Good for three Indians sock 'er ill.,"
can ~acrostic, by John r. Ride, in long
p,imer."
"Itll paralyze EN-
"Frank PiXley OH the Constitution" half a
column of loaded BREWER.
"Jf il hits 'cm the day Is won.''
oui tdutl Cl law ttllu OlutIs
"Save it as a last resort"
Dan pulled the type out of the boxes and
stuffed column after column in the howitzer's
mouth and the savages came charging on.
Another round from the gun and the redskins
rolled over and over each other like boulders
swept away by a mountain cloud burst.
Mark, in an ecstasy of delight. pulled an
American flag out Of his effects, nailed it to
the tailboard of the wagon and was about to
,,nGa a cpaacl ,yhon fIo IpSly fir,,ra. re tl,n
foe We're once more seen moving to tile at
tack.
The piece was again loaded, and thist time
with a double charge. Marks leader Oh
Law and Order,' the puff of an auction
house by Fred. McCrelish g. as a sickener,'
Dan said), Frank Gross verses on 1.-The Reb-
Ell Yell" an agricultural article by Sam Sc
baug:l, showing the chemical properties of
corn juice as an educational lever, a Made
pcetical effort OF Olive Harper. and some
verses by Col. Cremeny and Frank Soule
completed the load.
THAT poetry, reaching 'em first, will throw
'em into confusion, and my editorial, coming
upon the heels of the rest, will result in a
lasting generalization It will he like the
last cavalry charge of the French at the battle
of AusterlitZ.
For the third and last time the faithful
howitzer belched its typographical compli-
ments to the advancing foe. The havoc was
terrible. There was a wild yell from a score
of savage Threats, and then the low groans of
the dying foated up the ravine on the gentle
wind. The two men walked over the field of
slaughter and counted f~iity-siH aboriginals
lying in heaps. The bodies were horribly
mutilated with nonpareil, long primer, two
line plea, b~urgeois I" caps" misere dashes and
unsorted pi.
"My leader cooked that mans goose, "said
Mark, pointing to a savage with his bowels
hanging over the limb of a cedar.
"My geological article did the business for
him. rejoined Dan, nodding carelessly to an
Indian whose head was lying twenty yards