Litchfield enquirer. [volume] (Litchfield, Conn.) 1829-current, 1880-08-05
CLIPPINGS.

CLIPPINGS.
To bring up child in the way it should 60,
lead the way.
"How sad !" exclaimed one blade of a pair
OF scissors to the other; show sad I" eve
| only meet to sever!'
| Some people regard an arro0t for siruukrrI-
| ness very llgntIy. They do not care how full
they get so long as they can be bailed out.
The individual who called tight boots COM
! Portable, defended his position by saying they
made man forget all his other troubles
| A tall man having rallied his friend on the
shortness of his legs, the friend replied
''My legs reach the ground What more can
| yours do?"
A man who rode some distance on load of
hay, in Glastonbury, discovered ON pitching it
OF large and very active rattlesnake. With
| the other leads he walked.
"My umbrella is getting decidedly shabby"
said young man about town, one evening
last week. Il believe | will have to strike
another prayer meeting the first rainy night"
"What must do" asked mean and con-
ceited man of a friend who knew him WELL
'to get picture of the one | love NEST ?'
"Sit for your own portrait, was the reply.
Lightning was never worse beaten than
| when it struck barrel of butter in Medina,
! o., last week. In about five seconds light
ming was nowhere, while the butter vas there
| just the same.
49," said lady recently to merchant,
| 'your pretty daughter has married rich hus-
band 7" "Well, slowly replied the father, II
| believe she has married rich man, but I un-
derstand he is very poor husband"
/ The late DR.. Bethune asked morose and
misery man how he was getting along. The
man replied: "What business is that of
yours?" Said the dotcor: "Oh, sir, l am
one of those who take an interest even in the
meanest of Gods creatures.
Il say, old lady," said man on country
road, did you see a bicycle pass here just
now ?" "No, didn't see no kind of sickle,
mister; but just now I seed wagon wheel
runnin away with a man. You kin believe
it OF no. l wouldn't if I hadn't seed it N.Y.
SELF
Two Galveston ladies meet. Says No. 1:
"Why, DO you know what 1 heard about
you ?"
''I've no idea"
81 heard that when your husband was sick
and not expected to live you went to pic
| mic"
ats vile Islander; it was only an excur.
sion."
For many years Moses, negro, was a serv-
ant at the University of Alabama. and waited
on the students very faithfully; but he was
most notorious hypocrte. He was on that
account commonly called Preach" among the
boys. One day he was passing crowd of
students, when one of them, out of mischief
called to him and said: ~ say, Preach
what are you goiug to do when Satan gets
your" "Wait on Students" was the ready
reply.
An Engshman says that ne other people
in the world, so far as he knows can equal
the Arkansians in offhand exaggerations
DO you see that spring over there, strang-
er I" said one OF them to him. He said he
did, whereupon the settler added: "Well
that's an iron spring, that is, and it's so
mighty powerful that the farmers horses
about here that drink the water of it never
have to be shod. The shoes just grow on their
feet nat'rally."
F. G. Tibbets and j. B. Martin were suitors
for the hand of the same girl nearly fifty
years ago. Martin was the victor. He went
to Milwaukee with his wife, prospered and
left 50, 600, 600 when he died. His diving
bequest was that his widow should marry
Iibbets, who had remained bachelor, and
become banker in Philadelphia The
wedding is to take place in September Tib-
bets is seventy years old and Mrs. Martin
sixty eight
"rhe next morning the judge of the police
court sent for me. | went down and he re.
0niyy A1 1I.l1x 10 4
of the wonderful things you have accomplish
ed by knocking down five persons and assault
ing SIX Others and am proud of YOU Then
he offered a toast, Guilty or not guilty!' to
(which L responded in a brief but elegant
speech, setting forth the Importance of the &C.
caslon that had brought us together. After
the usual ceremonies | was requested to lend
the city 80"
Browns landlady passed him dish of veg.
etables at the dinner table and he helped him
self to about two spoonfuls almost bankrupt
ing the dish, when she said to him, with
smile on her face and ire in her eye: Those
are new potatoes, Mr.. Brown, and some of
the other hoarders may want some" sBeg
your pardon" choked Brown, in surprise, as
two or three effected an unpleasant lodynient
in his wiHgpipe, Il thought they were peas
. and then he finished his dinner hurriedly.
Brown is now hunting around for another
boarding place.
worthy southerner was speaking of the
distress through which his state had passed
I'VE lost everything in the world but honor, y.
he said. Why, sir, there was Colonel Carter
OF Gainesville, as heightened gentleman as
you ever saw. He's lost everything ia the
world but his honor. Now, Grant sent a
Yankee postmaster to Gainesville, and one
day the Colonel wanted to send letter to his
factor in New Orleans, and as he'd lost every.
thing but honor, he asked the Yankee to trust
him for three cent stamp, and the fellow
wouldn't do it, and of course the colonel drew
his pistol and shot him dead And do YOU
know sir, it took all the exertions of Judge
Bowie and some -four most influential citizens
to prevent that thing from coming to a law
suit Z" This is not unlike the narrative of the
two kentuckians at a Chicago hotel. One of
them was hercely disputing the correctness of
the bill which the clerk had just presented to
him, when the other took him by the arm and
said: Colonel, never forget that YOU are a
Kentuckian; kiln the clerk, but pay the bill. y.