The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-07
VEaH. HHHEe Re<p4tzA H!'E'.
a Coed Reason Why, var. Sfisaacr@ Toot
the Chair with 2Eism.

What is known among t;iI"rSas tht. hip
pocket is exclusively 3 characteristic Of
the American species ot' man.
Mr.. WitherS is not Western inan. and
i wholly umcuulinted with whisky: hut
his recent experience of the Incompatible
ity Of hip pocket and glass bottles WAS
very painful ana embarrassing. He had
returned 10 hi Orange County honsc from
i brief yiSttn New Work, and had brought
will, him y present tor Miss WiSon--tv
whom he was hetrothtsl---t bottle Of that
remarkable cement which i sold by >idc-
/ walk merchants. and which is by them
, represented ;i> itcing ml3ch stronger tIan
! wrought iron. Ii had occurred 10 him that
This cement would be 4 very nice thing to
have in his t,tur" house since With it all
sorts ut broken china and ~l(SS could br
mrndc1, ansl every ono knows HAT rhl-
trcu will break Il great deal Of china. Dn
the evening Of his arrival home hr put the
cement bottle in his Hip pocket AND called
um Mis- Wilson. Intending to offer it tn arr
, - "btlt IL ne entered lilt mouse.
Mr.. Withcr> Mas ardcutly attached 10
The Young l;oly. an,i when he SAW her he
fore him he moi muttnraiIy forgot Ill
about slcl merely earthly matters ;t4 ce-
mcnl- IN" old peolt" welcomed linn pc
litely. and. after 4 few moments Of c"u-
yer~ltjuu, Withdrew with t discretion
which il i> Ia bt. wished that ;tl old people
would emulate. Being Of a frugal mind.
aud know in~ that tir Utrcitu Young mau
SHOULD br nelriilt t" h> iurutlcd father
jn-EtN in point of Kerosene bills. Mr.. With
r}'S promptly turned down the lau, and
prorvcCe, To make himself at home
Tive bottl" WIS Il stout one. an,t NouId
perhaps have WirhStood ANY ordinary prs
sure. but H> Miss Wilson Weighed fully
one hundred and forty pounds and H. the
back Of the small rocI>inw-cfair was of
hard Wno,i il j. not strange tina; the hottie
Welded. Mr.. Wthrr> WAS 80 nl'tr!I inter-
rSted in tug weather and other subjects
such ~ usually absorb the attention OF
young men IN his position, that hr tIid not
notice thr breaking OF The glass, AMI Il WAS
not until IN hour lalcrthas false alarm ut
tlthcr in the 'front.' lall induced Miss Will
son 10 lice ,n til" Sofa and suggested to Nj,
NitFlrrs The adviSHhiity oi turning ny thr
lamp.
The cement ha,l done it work. aud Mr..
Withrr~ did rot ret up TO attend to the
light, hut rttl,uStc, the voting lady to dis
IL, II, ~, III Il
tllcn noticed his panied and preoccupicd
expression. 70 her anxious inquiries. he
admitted that he felt little faint aud
would like 4 GLASS of water. Miss Wilson
hurricdty went for The water. rcproaching
herself tor being so heavy. and accusing
herself nt >cltiShneS> and Want OF cousid-
Grafton. In her absence the Young man
usaIc >uln:rhsilrI,n efforts To wrench him
self loose, hut the cement refused to Yield
Whtu Miss Wilson returned with the @ia~S
Of water. he looked much worse that
>le WAS really frightened. and h. WAS cont
pellctt to tell her the READ state OF the case.
r>bc was Il practical person and promptly
proposed To rel Il te;t-kcttlc OF hot Watcr
t !ll~~tNft ll4t tttIl3t|it- ttlt E%fSLCNi Nlltli
he rNvinineu IL her that his system would
not bear the application Of water AT the
Boiling point. She then tilnidly suggested
that if She were. 10 call .'pl perhaps pa
might lend YOU Il pair" but Mr. Wither>
said no l,"coulh not bear the modification
OF hein" found in such ii situation hv any
father 1t was finally agreed that hc should
wait until Il late hour. and should then
take the chair home With him. This WAS
accordingly done. and had not the nntor-
constable. Who only discharged him when
:: severe test proved thai his possession Of
,l,c chair was purely involuntary, his mis-
fortune might never have become general
. II, known When disasters such IL this
are liable 10 happen to the Wearcrs OF liir
uockttS it becomes doubtful whether they
an. not altogether too hazardous tor gen.
,ral use In fact, GOOD authorities MAIN
tain that the hip pocket is positively detri-
mental. and that an earnest and united ct
fort should be made 10 secure its cNtirpa-
tiDll