Morning journal and courier., 1880-03-04
HARD TRIALS.

A shoemaker's Wanted a good hunting dog to tree boots. Boston Journal of Commerce.
 When young men idoIize young ladies they are very apt to tell great many idle lies- Baltimore Every Saturday.
 It is now thought that instead of it's being dynamite which blew up the Czar's dinner, it was baking powder.-Oil City Derrick.
 There is no fish in the world that will in- crease in weight like trout after it has been pulled from the ewater.-Whitehall Times.
 If the Czar had been punctual man, says the Baltimore News he would be lying in state now, surrounded by his similarly lald-out fam fly.
 The palate is always down in the mouth, and vet it always manages to get the first taste of everything. Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
 Apothecary: s'You want this prescription filled, sir,I I understand" Patrick: s'Diyil a bit af it SUIT It's the bottle I wud have filled. ."-Boston Transcript.
 It is surprising that some of our enterpris E ing dramatists have not constructed a scene in which safe is hoisted into four story win dow. It always brings big audience in pop ulous cities when the weather is ine.-N. Y. Express.
 Gould coniugal affection be more strictly displayed than it is in the subjoined? "And so, doctor, you think my wife will get well p 'I am sure of it, if you can persuade her to take this dose" tDoctor, take 1t she shall, If I have to break every bone in her body"
 son of the Emerald Isle, meeting coun- tryman whose face was not perfectly remem- bered, after saluting him most cordially. in ouired his name. "Walsh," said the gentle man. ssWalsh-Walsh." responded Paddy ssare you from Dublin know two old maids there of that name. Was either of them your motherw
 Recently we'll known barrister was con cerned in . case where the question involved was as to the mental condition of the testa- trix The witness under examination, her self an aged lady. had testified to finding her friend failing, childish, and that when she told her something she looked as though she did not understand. Coun- sel, cross examining, tried to get her to de- scribe this look, but she did not succeed very well in doing SO. At last, getting little i'm patient, he asked, s'Well, how did she look ? Did she look at you as I am looking at you now, for instance?'' The witness very de- murely replied, ''Wen, yes-kind of vacant like r'-Boston Con<ier.
 Patrick's experience with the elevator.-Sez I, ssIz Misther Shmith in, surr?" Sez the man wid the soger cap, 'sWill yez stip in !'' So stips intil the closet, and all of sud dint he pulls at rope, and, it's the trooth Pz tellin' yez, the walls of the building begin runnin' down cellar as though the ivl was afther them. 'tHou1y murther !'A sez l, stwhat I'll become of Bridget and the childer which was lift below there7" Sez the soger cap man, 'tBe aizy, SUIT they'll be all right when yez come down" !" "Come down, is it ," sez I; s'and is it no closet at all, but g haythenish balloon that yez got me in ?" And with that the walls stopped stock still, and he opened the door, and there was wid the roof fist over me head? And that was phat saved me from goin' up till the hivins entairly.- Boston Transcript