The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1880-08-06


lmrtmeht. l got to talking some pretty
private matters presently, and Harris
became nervous; NJ he nudged me, and
said:
Speak in German-these Germans
may understood English"
| did 80, and it was well did, for 1t
turned out that there VIVA not n German
in that party who did not understand
English perfectly. 1t il curious how
widespread our language lis in Germany.
After while some of those folks got ont,
and German gentleman and his two
Young daughters got in. | spoke in
German to one If the latter several times,
hui without result, Finally she said:
"Ich rcr~'chc mr. D,utch und Eng-
| h"chC, or words To that effect. That
Is, ~ don't understand any language
but German and English" ] can undcr-
St0nd German ~ well as the maniac who
| invented it, hut tax it best through IN
| interpreter.
Tie language needs reforming. am
ready to reform it. In the first place, /
would leave ont the dative case. 1t con-
fuses the pluralss and besides, nobody
ever knows when he il in the dativc case.
except he discovers it by accident-and
then he does not know how when or
where it WAS that he got into it or how
long he has been i'll it. or how he is ever
going to get out Of it again. The lative
case is but an ornamental folly--it is bet
ter to discard it.
In the next place, | would move the
verb further up to the front. You may
loud up with ever 81 good II verb, but
notice that You never really bring down
II subject with it Mt the present German
iange-Sou only cripple it. So insist
TINT this important part of speech should
he brought forward to position where
1t may he easily seen with the naked eye.
Thirdly, would import some strong
words from the English tongue-to swear
! with, and also Ia use i'll describing all
sorts Of vigorous things i'll II vigorous way.
Fourthly, would rcco ynize the sexes,
and distribute them according to the will
of the Creator This ~ tribute of re-
spect, if nothing else.
Fitthly, | would do away with those
great, long, compounded words, or re-
| quirc the speaker to deliver them in Sec
tons, with intermissiOns for refresh
ments. To wholly do away with them
would he best, far ideas are more easily
received and digested when they come one
ut time than when they come in bulk.
intellectual food is like any other; it il
pleasanter and more beneficial to take it
with spoon than with shovel.
Sixthly, | would require a speaker To
stop when he is done, and not hang a
string of those "haben sind gewesen
gehabt haben geworlen sclns" to the end
| ,f e
undignify speech, instead Of adding Il
grace. They are, therefore, an offence,
and should be discarded.
Sevcnthly, | would discard the parcn-
thesis. Also the -parenthesis, the re-
re-parcnthesis, and the re-re-re-re- re- re-
parenthesis, and likewise the final wide
reaching, all-cnclosing king parenthesis.
| would require every individual, be he
high or low, to unfold plain, straight
forward tale, or else coil it and sit on it
and hold its peace. Infrctions of this
new law should be punishment with
death.
The eighthly AMI lastly, | wouldretain
hug and Schidg, with their pendants,
and discard the rest of the vocabulary.
This would simplify the language.
One cannot over-estimatc the useful
ness of .Schtag and Ing. Armed Just
with these two, and the word hiso, what
cannot the foreigner accomplish on Ger
man soil? The German word also is
the equivalent of the English phrase
"IOu know, and does not mean any
thing at all--in fakk, though it some
times does i'll print. Everytimc Ger
man opens his mouth an Also falls out;
and every time he shuts it he bites one
in two that Mas trying to yet out.
Now, the foreigner, equipped with
these three noble words, is master of the
situation. Let him talk right along,
| fearlessly; let him pour his indifferent
word, let him heave n .Schtdg into the
vacuum; all the chances are that it fits it
like IL plug; but if it doesn't, let him
promptly heave Tug after it; the two
together can hardly fnil to bung up the
hole; but if, 10y miracle, they Shouid
fail, let him simply say also! and this
will give him moments chance to
think of the needed word. In Germany,
when you load your conversational gun
it Is always best to throw in Il .SchLay or
two and Ing or two; because it doesn't
make any diiieredce how much the rest
of the charge may scatter, You are
bound to bag something with them.
Then you blandly say Also, and load up
again. Nothing gives such an air of
grace and elegance and unconstraint to u
German or an English conversation as to
scatter it full of "Alsos," or "You
knows" Ia my notebook / find this
entry:
| July In the hospital, yesterday, word Of
! thirteen syllablcs was successfully removed
from paticnt-a North German from near
| Hamburg; but most unfortunately tho sur
gcOns had opened him in the wrong place, I'M
der the impression that lac contained a pano-
rama, Inc died. The sad event here cast gloom
over the whole community.
That paragraph furnishes text for a
few remarks about one of the most curl
Gus and notable features of my subject
the length Of German words. Some
German words are SO long that they have
Il perspective. Observe these examples:
Frcundschaftsbezcigu
Dilletantenauflringli
Observation-Disclosures
These things are not words, they are
alphabetical professions. And they are
not rare; On, can open German news
paper any time and see them marching
maIestcally across the page--and if he
has any imagination he can zee the ban
ners and hear the music, too. They i'm
part n martial thrill to the meckest sub
jcct. take great interest in these
curiosities. Whenever | come across a
good one, ] stuff it and put it in my mu-
scum. In this way have made quite q
valuable collection. When | get dupli-
Gates, | exchange with other collectors,
and thus increase tho variety of my
stock. Here are some specimens which
j lately bought Mt an auction sale of the
effects of bankrupt bric-a- brac hunter
GeneralstaatsyerOrdne tenversammlun-
gen.
umswissenschaftcn.
Observation-Disclosures
Unabhaengigkeitserk
umgsbestrebungen.
Observation-Disclosures.
OF course when one of these grand
mountain ranges goes stretching across
the printed page, it adorns and ennobles
that literary landscape-but ut the same
time it il great distress to the new stu
dent, for it blocks up his way; he cannot
crawl under it, or climb over it, or tun-
mel through it, So he resorts to the die
tionary for help; but there is no help
there. The dictionary must draw the
line somewhere, 80 it leaves this sort OF
words out.
III.
had an idea once in Heidelberg tc
find out all about the five student corps.