South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1880-01-09
W.T. AND n,1nroR.

WIT AND II.JNIOR.
some more choose, rlease,' said F,
small boy of 8 Ia his papa ut dinner. -
M. my chilli was she reply Of tn,
prudens parent; you have already hat
enough. When MAS a child I had 1,
eat my bread anil smell my cheesc -
Well said sonny. please give me :
piece to smell = Portland Tronscy;,t
In view OF Postmaster General Kew.
recent decision. some one, possib,v ,
victim by carelessness, sent to him III,
other day letter directed on an erxc.
lope OF prodigious size, (the words oc-
cupying nearly all the face), as follows
Hon. ID. NJ. Key. Postmaster Gener.
al, Washington, District OF Columbia
United States OF America, Land of tho
Free, Western Hemisphere, Temperate
Zone, between latitude 25 and 35, and
longitude q and 127. situated on the
planet known rs the Earth which re.
wolves around the planet known as the
Sun, &c.
a popular clergyman was greatly
bored by la,iy who 'mired him with
out reserve. oh! my dear Me-
SAID She, last Sunday afternoon, there
isnt any harm in one loving ones pas,
Tor, Is thercT Certainly not madam.
replied the worthy cleric; net tho leas,
In the world. SO long as the feeling i.
not reciprocated.'
We'll, my son. said n good n a.ured
father to an S-year-od son, the other
night, what have You done TO. dav tina,
may be set down as god deed?
Give poor boy cents replied the
hopeful. 'Ah, all that was charity
and charity is always right. lie was
an orphan boy, was hep Il ,dn't stoI
to ask replied the boy. & gave hin
the money for licking boy who upset
my dinner-basket
a little boy having gotten into pas
sion, was told by his mother TO q, (,
God for forgiveness. She heard hin
ask in his childish way never to be an
cry again; and he added Lord, maxi
mas temper better, too
is he rich?' asked the tourist. Yes,
replied the sexton, Il guess lie is prett,
wealthy, at least he never put NOR,
IMAM ten cents into the plate Sunda,
morning.
he iookeo as wise as an owl, did he
Ills tricks were well adjusted;
lie declined to advertise. on SEE,
And in q year lie busted.
child four years of aqe. Lavipo
been told we are all made OF aust. Oh
served large amount living about in
q whirlwind confusion Halo! there
Is somebody being made. wonder #
1t is boy or girl?'
He said her hair was dyed. and when
she indignantly exclaimed, lis false y
he said he presumed so.
ANYTHING FoR WArTs?-A lantern.
Jawed young man stopped at The post
Office last Saturday, and yelled out?
Anything for Wattes?'
Geo. Poteet, our polite postmaster,
replied:
No, there is not
Anything for Jane Watts?'
Nothing
Anything (or Ace Watts?'
No, SIR
Anything for Tom Watts?'
No, nothing
Anything for Fool joe Watts?'
NO, nor Dick Watts. nor jim Watts
nor Sweet Waits. nor anyother Watts.
dead. living, unborn. native, foreign.
civilized, or uncivilized, savage or bar
barious, male or female, white or blacI,
franchised or d ranchised, naturalized
or otherwise. No there is positively
nothing Tor any of the YATES. either
individually, severally, jointly, now
and forever, one and nseparable'
The boy looked at the postmaster in
astonishment, and said:
Please look if there is anything for
John Thomas Watts?'-Merico LefIge,.
Counsel to witness: You're nice
sort OF a fellow. you are - Witness
I'D say the same 30 you, sir, only I'm
on my oath