The Rock Island Argus., 1880-11-26
a Rich.Campaign Story.
San Francisco Post.


The following good joke. in which a
worthy member of the bar, Judge z.
figures. is worthy of space. 1t is tale of
Watts tract. a suburb of Oakland, of
political meetings. of disguised speakers,
and enraged audiences. The political
caldron of Watts tract had for weeks
been boiling over Meetings had been
held nightly, and the best of local speakers
had tried to enlighten the intelligent
people of the tract. The success ofDemo
Gratis and Republicans alike was so dubious
that both parties, by q singular coinci-
dence, resolved to hold q grand mass
meeting, appointing the same evening,
ana both parties called on the state central
committee in this city to send them over
an orator.
The meetings were set for Wednesday
evening last. At an early hour on that
evening Judge F., who had consented to
speak ct the tract, boarded a ferry
steamer. as did also a noted Republican
orator. The judge had been cautioned by
the Democratic. committee to draw it mild.
as. the Republicans of the tract we're weak
ening, and il their prrty was not abused
too much, they could be won over.
The Republican orator had also been
warned that the party over there needed
bracing up. and that the Democracy must
OO ucuOuuCCO lib uum66EureO keTHn.
Watts Tract was reached in due time,
and the politicians separated. the Repub-
lcan to seek his party's gathering and
Judge f. to find the Democratic wigwam.
This was, as he supposed. soon found,
The hall was blazing with lights. while in
front bOnhres glared, a0d a band of music
aided in making night hideous. In walked
Judge F., introduces himself as the
speaker from the State Central Committed
and was in turn presented to the audience
as the orator of the evening,
After the applause had subsided, Judge
L. cleared his throat and began. He
spoke not too abusively of 1.-THE infamous
course Of the Republicans" and finally
rounded sentense with a grand perora-
tion to the Democracy. Then he paused
Tor breath aud for applause, But oh.
amaZement! There was not the slightest
expression of satisfaetion-not a single
cheer was heard. Instead, dozen
auditors arose. pulled up their coat collars
put on their hats and left. Again and
again did the Judge attempt to FIRE the
hearts OF those before him, and on
each occasion did small groups get
up and meander sadly and silently
out OF the hall. Finally, with but band
ful of spectators before him. be closed the
most discoUrageing effort Of his life with a
scathlng denunciation of the Republicans
and appeal to all to JOIN the Democracy.
The effect of this. although magical, was
far different from that expected. Up rose
the remnant of the audience and swarIne ed
upon the platform with indignant faces. |
while the Chairman, with iil-conceaIed
contempt and in sneering tones demanded |
of the speaker if he had ever spoken in
San Francisco.
"Oh, yes, very often" was the response
OF the wondering judge. why do you
ask? And have you expressed the
same opinions given this EVENING" ~ es
SIR, again responded the orator, And |
were they well received2" Always; but
look here. what's the meaning of this?"
demanded the now indignant Judge.
Meaningl The meaning is that, in the
opinions OF us Republicans, you Repubii
cans over the bay have got the-politics
hat we ever heard off" Me Republican
fairly yelled the Judge; and then realizing
Tor the hrst time that he had made mis-
take, and had been addressing Republi>
can gathering. tho eloquent orator siezsd his
hat, and. without waiting to explain matters
made for the depot. Here the il ate and fun
ing orator again encountered his Repub!i !.
oan friend, but oh, what contrast the
ngure before him-which looked as If it
nao been run through quartz mill pres
sented to the gentlemanly~Iooking orator
tul one. piei
=. on see. Judge" said he. when /
ieh you found my way to what ] sup
posed was Republican meeting. Twas