St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1880-08-21
ALL SORTS.


Edison has q track three quarters OF
a mile long at his home III Memo Iark,
N. Y, over which he runs cars by eiec-
tricity at the rate OF forty miles per hour'
"A man has Just invented chair that
can be adjusted to 800 different POSITIONS.
1t is designed for u boy to sit in when he
goes to church.
Kansas school teacher: 'Where does 7,
our grain 80 tor "lnto the hopper
"What hopper ?' "Grass- shopper" tri-
umphantly said bright little fellow.
Henry Ward Beecher, in recent
speech, highly praised Mrs: GarfeId'
Iiave YOU a shotgun, Mr.. Credit-Mo-
bilier' II so, prepare to use it.
The two important events in the
| life of mani are when he examines nls
| upper lip and sees the hair coming, ana
when he examines the top OF his head
and sees the hair going.
Hole on dar!' said a colored man,
hailing an acquaintance "does yer cross
from payin dat bill =" "No, I doesn't
"What fur, den?' "Ter keep from beinf
axed fur it, Little Rock Gazette. !
81 didn't know q man could be SO
much made up of water" said a hot man
the M :. sweat from his brow. ooh, yes, re-.
marked Il hotel keeper who came along,
my experience is that Il man is a regu-
lar sponse.n-[Chicago Journal. {
The latest gusl-Conversatio oil
piazza of West End Hotel, Long Branch:5
Fashionable young man to another
young man not fasllionable-"Is this
chair taken?' Ordinary young man
"No, you can have it, +. Y. Nj THANK
you awfully." o. Y. M-"You're dread
fully Wclcomc.o
-"Our time is indeed brief" said
Thompson, Secretary of the Navy. "bu
before we go out of office I'll geta Uniter
burst that internal river to everlasting
smash in the attempt" Bully for Thomp-l
son!
-"Why don't you come out Of the,
rain = said Il good natured parsOn to a
ragged 1rishman. Its NV no conse-s
qnence, yer rivercncc,n returned Pat I
me clothes is so full O holes they won'
hold water.' 4
The daily income of the Car of Ru
sla is but the mere tritle of So, 900. Th
OF the Sultan is still lcss-only $500
The Emperor of Austria gets $4,000
The Emperor of Germany, $500. TIL
King OF Italy, $1,000; and the King O.
Belgium, $643.
A company has been making sue
cessful experiments in Florida with pal.
metto for paper making purposes, an
Will erect about twenty paper-mills in
the various portions of the State where
| there is au abundance of palmetto trees
and good shipping facilities. @
1t is estimated tbst five and a half
million bales of cotton were nrodnced
last season IN the Southern States, which
is '.,CSut half million bales more than
/ III 1878. The value of this crop may be
set down at S275OO0, 900, an increase of
over onc-third OF the value of that of
| 1878. -
--"Didn't you tell me, sir, that 10
could hold the plow ?" said farm
a green Irishman, whom he had,s
on trial. ''Arrahn y said Pat, "hos
| hold it, via two horses drawus~
from me? But give il to me in tIs G1s
and be jabbers I'll hold it wild any
-"Sambo, what makes de corn grow
SO fast when you put dc manure on it ~
"Donno dat" well, l .jis tell you
when de corn begins to smell dc manurE
it don't like de 'fumery, so it hurries os
ob de ground, and gets up as high i
possible, so it can't breathe de bad air
| Somebody who appears to know hoS
| fashionable schools are managed. saws
| "To educate young ladies is to let ther
know all about the Ogies, omenies. TIL
ifics, the tics and mistics; but nothi1s
| about the ings, such as sewing, darninR
washing, baking and making puddiD
Not long ago in Court of Appehl
! an Irish lawyer, while arguing wit ear
estness his case, stated point viii
the court ruled out. "Well,n said il,
attorney, eff it place the court. if n
wrong in this, | have another DoiI
| aqually as conclusive"
When the Cory Press susnendes
publication it gave the citizens Of fha
place such an overhauling that there
was some talk of giving Mr.. Fenno. the
proprietor, q dose of tar and feathers.
| The Union City Times asked Mr. Fennn
concerning this, and he made answer as
follows: lt may be that the people will
steal the feathers, but thew are ano tno
blamed stingy to buy the tart 'o'
Julius, s'pose dere is six chickens
in dc coop, and de man sells three oh
of day W was % dat! "WLat WI tms maht nh tim time
| Why what has dat to do wild H sn ssS.yr. SsSy
tin, nigga, if it was dark dar wonldn,.
he none left-dat is, if YOU hapn%enad % =,
come along dat wayv' "I.ook-a.Iarsa -
nigga, iis stop dem personalities. If We
don't, 1ll ,xplore yer head wid q nnmn
handle; will, sartin as Moses ~ Pu' =
A young bachelor, who had haan
appointed sheriff, was called unon , to
serve an attachment against vnnn0 y,
widow. lie called upon her and said
~, ADAM, nave an attachment for Won !,
The widow blushed and said his attach.
ment was reciprocated. "You don't n
defstand me; yon must proceed r
court nafn, nan ~ khoW 4 ITS leap year, sir, bl
tice is waiting" "The iusticei W VIZ !,
prefer parson~ -
The following are the denths ~
| tanned by the leading mines in Nevad
The Utah 1880 feGt: Sierra Nevada 2Or
the Union Consolidated, MSviean
Ophir each $500; Consolidateffs
fOrnia each $500; Best and Relci.a
Gould and Curry 1900; Hale.
| and Savage 240O; Chollar 2and. ISy.s,.
Vertical Shaft 21GS; Combinaf;on S,.n 81 81 !. j.
2440; Yellow Jacket 30NG: Crown pn;..t
$500, Overman and Caledonia each tonn. Vans
Alta and Bentea each 1850: Silver Hi
1900; Consolidated Imperial $500: Bnllinn
1900, - 'O' Duli'oi'
,n' THE HIGH BUILDINGS OF THE WoRIn
| The crown of the hat Of the statna ni
/ William, pnnn which &c RS,