Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-14
Familiarity.

nerS, VIC KNOW Vi ucuC 81 PSA"N'o"'
and prolific as the license of familiar
i,y. There is no one among our
readers, We presume, who has not
known village or neighborhood
in which all the people call me an
other by thei or Christina "ames.
The Jim," or " Charlie" OF Mol
lie, or" Fanny" OF the young day..
Of school life remain the same until
they tctter into the grave from old
age. Now. there may be certain
amount of sood-fellowship and
homely loneliness in this kind OF
familiar address, but there is not
spark of politeness in it. 1t is all
yerv well, within a family CT circle
of relatives, but when it il 'Arrled
outside it is intolerable. Tie cour-
tesies of life are carried Oh ~ arms
length, and not in familiA. en-
brace. Every gentleman has right
TO the title at least, Of Mister, and
every lady to that of Miss" or
"Mistress. even when the Chris
tian name is used. For an ordinary
friend to address married women
as Dolly" or " Mary" is to take
ali objectionable liberty. 1t is nei-
Their cour;e GUS nor honorable. We
have known remarkable men, living
for wears under the blight OF their
Familiarity used first Dames-men
whose fortunes would have been
made, or greatly mended, 10y remov-
ing to some place where they could
have been addressed with the counte-
~ due to their worth, and been lid
forever of the cheapening process OF
familiarity. How can man hit his
head under the degradation of being
called " SAM" by every man, young
and old. whom he may meet in the
street? How can strong character
be carried when the man who bears
it must bow decently to the name
OF Billy"
This is not matter that we have
,aken mp to sport with. We APP
proach it and regard it with all sell
BUSINESS, for this feeling and exhibit
ion OF familiarity lie at the basis OF
the worst manners of the American
yeople. We are not asking special
~ for reverence for age or high po-
sition, but for manhood and woman-
hood. The man and woman who
have arrived at the age of majority
have right to courteous form OF
address, and he who withholds it
from them, or piesuming upon the
intimacies of hoyhood, continues to
speak them as still boy and girl, is
boor, and practically foe to good
manners. We suppose the Friends
would object to this statement, but
we do not intend to embrace them
in this condemnation. They look at
this matter from different stand
point. and base their practice upon
certain considerations which have no
recognition in the world around
them. We think they are mistaken,
but their courteous way of speaking
the whole name is very different
from the familiar use of nicknames
of which We complain. The is no
denying the free and general use of
first names, among men and women,
in towns anu neighborhoods, is to
the last degree vulgar. Gentlemen
and ladies do not do it. It is not
habit or custom of public society
anywhere.
There is picture we have often
contemplated, which would impress
different men in different ways-a
picture which is, to us, very beauti-
full and very suggestive. A gentle
man of the old school, somewhat re-
,duced in circumstances, persists in
living, SO far as manners are con-
cerned, &C. like king" Every night
he and sons, before dining, put
themselves into evening dress.
When dinner is announced, the old
gentlemen gives his arm to his ven.
cradle wife and leads her to the ia
BILE. The other members of the fam
lily preserve the same manners that
they would practice if they were din
ling out, or if friends were dining
with them. At the close of the
meal, the old man and his sons rise,
while the mother and daughters with
draw, and then then they sit down
over their cups and have pleasant
chat. Now the average American
will probably laugh at this picture,
rs one Of the foolish and painful
Formally, but there is a very good
side to it. Here is family which
insists on considering itself made
up of ladies and gentlemen, among
whom daily association is no license
for familiarity, or the laying aside of
. good and constantly respectful man.
ners toward one another. There is
undoubtedly great deal of bad man
ners in families, growing out of the
license engendered by familiarity
bad manners between husband and
wife, and between parents and child
rem. Parents are much to blame
for permitting familiarity to 90 on
SO tor that they do not uniformly