Eureka daily sentinel. [volume] (Eureka, Nev.) 1871-1887, 1880-04-22

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Miraculous inventions are the order Of
the day. Even Edison has been surpassed
BY . eouiusv Who has invented what il called
Married Mans Indicator" 1t is .
wonderfully sensitive arrangement of the
ordinary thermometer, in convenient peck
ct size, and Is graded to . scale Of cabalistic
/ marks, which show the exact state OF the
atmosphere at any hour Of the night. The
hard-worked and belated husband arrives
home, say at midnight. He takes out his
indicator" thrusts IL into the keybole and
leaves IL there Q few seconds. Pulling it
out he scans the dial by the moonlight's
ftful cleaning. II ii marks "S. A."
Sound asleep the poor husband pulls of
his boots noislessly, uses his night KEY
with bated breath, gives the door . quick
shove to keep it from creaking. steals trem-
blingly TO bed, and when his dear little
wiley wakes mp about two seconds after.
wards and wants to know how long he has
been home he is SO sound asleep that
Gabriel's trumpet couldn't wake him.
II the indicator scores "a. A. G. B. d. X
w. T." awake, awful cross, but does not
knox What time it is. the husband puts .
few more grains of coffee in his mouth;
opens the door boldly; walks in with .
slam-bang air; hits his loot Intentionally
against . chair; wants to know why the
devil the chairs amt kept out Of the way;
gets desperately mao on general principles;
scarea his wife clear out of her madness and
intended curtain lecture; refuses to let her
strike . match-never did like q light at
night, nohow; remarks grufi1y in response
to . timid query that tits about twenty-
five minutes past ten" and then turns into
bed in such an apparently awful state Of
mind that the wife Of his bosom is afraid t.
speak to him-at which he is very sad, Of
course.
There are various other marks on the
indicator, showing just where it will do to
ssplay the lodge dodge" or the ssick
friend" or "been standing on the corner
with So-and-so for more than an hour"
or General or Honorable This or That.
from you know where, was in town, and
had TO go away ON the Q o'clock train, and
he insisted SO strongly that the whole
party stayed up to see him of, although it
was . great bore; we only did it through
courtesy"
But the most awfully awful Of all the
cabalistic signs on the dial is the one at the
top, about two marks above boiling point.
When the weary husband comes home,
about 4 O'Clock A. H., from the direction of
the butcher shop with 9 roll Of meat held
high in the air. so that everybody he passes
cannot fail to see it, and sticks the "irai-
cator" in the key hole, he is almost to
weak to draw it ont. With hair on end he
reads it by the faint light streaming in
upon him from the eastern hills, and
sweat breaks ont on his noble brow in
drops as large - walnuts as he sees the
bulb Of the indicator jammed smack up
against 'R. II. 8. W. p. Y. J. /. T." (red
hot and still . heating and waiting for you
just inside the door,. The inventor Of the
instrument says that when this terrible
misfortune overtakes . man be feels that
there is nothing left in this life worth
living for, and appreciates the full force
Of those beautiful lines:
This world is all . feefing show,
For mans delusion given.
He slings the meat out into the yard,
and braces himself up for the common
fray, but says nothing. for nothing can be
said Be be ever SO gifted 3 liar his &C
complishment is more than valueless. No
lodge, no sick friend, no talking on the
corner, no sitting up TO zee the General of.
no swearing that he will never do it again
in fact. nothing will avail. 1t is an abb
solutely indefensible case. He is caught in
'1iagrante delicto." Even the CHASTITY gay
ETY. with which. two hours previous, he had
said TO the boys that he '.guessed he'd see
il out now-might ~ well be killed for q
sheep a. . lzab"-had all vanished. The
indicator having told him the exact situa-
ton Of things. he knows what to do, and
that Is nothing, but get into bed at once
o wrap the drapery Of his couch about
him, pull the pillow over his ears and wait
for his wife's breath to give out. It's
awful while it lasts, but it has its use in
relieving the unfortunate husbands mind
Of part Of it's load.