The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-05-14
THE DOCTORS WATCHMAN.

Tell you what, doctor you'll be get
ting robbed and murdered one OF these
days; you will, upon my word y
Hardly, my boy. You ought to
know, by this time, that it's the province
of us doctors to kill other people, not to
be killed ourselves" And, with a thick
chuckle at his own wit, DIR. John Hunter
Bistoury settled himself comfortably in
his chair, and began to peel his third
orange us carefully as if he were taking
off limb.
When the doctor first came to New
York, thirty years before, he had been
in no way burdened with riches but
his face had proved his fortune in diff
ferent sense from that of the over-candid
milkmaid in the song. The mere sight
of that round, ford, jovial visage, in
every crease Of which joke or good
story seemed to be lurking, was a cor
dial i'll itself, and appeared capable of
reviving the most hopeless invalid with
out the aid of medicine mt all. Mindful
of the human weakness which makes so
many worthy people regard their own
ailments rs kind of personal distinc-
ton, the lessening of which i'll any way
is direct insult to themselves, DIR. Bis
toury skillfully took middle course be-
tween alarming his patients, by an over
serious view of their case, and offending
them by appearing to make light of it.
In this way he had acquired an enor-
nous practice, and his reputation now
stood SO high that the mere eclat of his
name had sufficed TO sell an entire edi-
ton of his great work upon "The Mu-
tual Relations of Mind and Body" in
which he proved to his own satisfaction,
I'd not to that of all his readers, that all
ci5nlinal impulses whatever, and indeed
the very existence of sin itself, are Who'll
ly,(he to "a morbid action of the physi-
cal system that IL murder may be pre-
vented by the timely use of EPSON salts,
and m unbeliever converted by a judi
cions contemplation of the virtues of
quinine
II can assure you, my dear Harry"
resumed the genial doctor, that it's
amazing hattering to me to find myself
considered worth robbing at all. No
thief would have thought me worth
ce1rter-bit in the days when your poor
father-as fine fellow, Harry, as ever
breathed-used to come and sup with
me upon biscuits and toasted cheese in
my little snuggery down town. And
then, as surely as the time came to go,
ne d turn to me and say: Now, Jack,
, old boy. won't YOU think better of it,
and let me write you check-iust to
give you fair start, you know But,
although knew well enough that he'd
have been only too glad to do it, / had
to refuse; for my motto is, Heaven
helps those who help themselves >"
"a motto which you'll find some
lblack-masked gentleman exemplifyingin
this very house one of these nights,
growled Harry Everett. "Look here,
doctor, I'm not joking-Tm not, indeed.
Everybody knows you're n rich man,
and it's got abroad that there's room
in your house which is always shut up
the very thing to make people think
there must be something very valuable
slowed away there, and yet, after all that,
you go living in this big house without
"a soul lear you except the cook and old
Sam yonder, who wouldn't be worth IA
cent in real scrimmage 3"
"Well, my boy" said the doctor, with
~ curious smile; "would it tranquilize
yonr mind if l were TO engage "A night
Waterman ?"
SLOlli bllhh ~. lHut "Othu Dt
just the thing"
every good. Consider it done.
This room, of which Harry had spoken
as being "always shut up, was'a stand
ing puzzle to the doctors few intimates.
Not man of them had ever crossed its
threshold, and its master, when ques-
toned on the subject, answered only by
some joking evasion. Rumor whispered
that one adventurous gentleman, rem
.dered desperate by his wife's threat to
give him no peace till he found out
=" what DIR. Bistoury kept hid in that
,room of his" had actually attempted a
burglarious entrance; but the attempt,
il ever made, had been unsuccessful. 1t
is needless to say that countless conjec-
lures, and not a few heavy bets, likewise,
were being constantly made respecting
the contents of this Bluebeard chamber.
Many declared that the doctor had fitted
it up in the hope of discovering the