The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-01-14
WAITS AND WHIMs.


1T takes a sober man to walk tight
rope
WE welcome cold weather with
warmth.
"BY my trough" as the male pig said
to his sweetheart.
In Milwaukee street cars everybody
talks; in Chicngo mum is the WORD
THE wool crop of Texas amounts to
over twenty-five million POUNDS = year
AooUTREbfENTs are often mistaken toa
abilities. There is difference IN value
of silver and plated ware.
THE population of Jerusalem Is some
twenty-five thousand, made up OF MO
hammedans, Christians, and Jews the
latter being far the most numerous
AeLAss bracelet, of elegant workman
ship, has been found eighty feet beneath
the surface of the ground, near Castro
vile, Texas
BEAUTIFULLY Yes, but the blush win fade,
The light grow dim which the blue ey % "eSi' ,
The gloss viii vanish from curl and oralu3
And the sunbeam die in the waving haHi
Turn from the mirror and strive TO win
Treasures of lOvenesS still TO last;
Gather earth's glories and bloom within,
That the soul may be bright when youth y PaS@
THE Frankfort E1prcSs says ''it is
claimed that the lakes rise and fall regu-
larly every seven years, and that they
eighteen or twenty inches lower than
usually.
"PAPA, they don't have any stone IN
Ireland, do they?' asked a little Bank
street boy the other day. Yes, my
boy; but why do you ask such ques-
tion? " Because, papa, thought it
was all shamrock Lvar there"
4 DENTIST in Bristol, Vt, recently
received by mail an order for a set OF
teeth which read as follows: " My mouth
is three inches across, fve-eighth inches
through the jaw. Sum hummOcky on
the edge. Shaped like a horseshoe, toe
forrard. If you want to be more par
tiklar shall have to come thar.
-"THE prudent man seeth the danger
afar off and hideth himself" was the
text the village clergyman took before
descending the cellar stairs, after catch
ing a glimpse of huge donation party
looming up in the distance.
A JERSEY man was once thrown one
hundred and fifty feet by an express
train. when he picked himself up, looked
around for his hatand remarked; "WeIl,
if 1 don't find that hat Pl make the
company pay for it."
SOFTLY the siivefy moon sfone down
In the midnight cold and clear,
And the tones Of a couple WOoing
Were borne to the listening ear.
Like the whispered words Of some dark plot
In the stories'tO children told,
Her voice hoated upward through the air,
- Oh, Charlie, but your nose Is eoia.
...f#F ..' ... .. -StsubeHgtHs HernA
Young Seward placed pistol at his
head, III the presence of the girl who
had rejected his suit, at Houston, Mimi,
and said he was going to commit suicide.
He counted, q One, two" and she COW
cred her eyes with her hands. Look
st me-" he said. She obeyed-" three ~
and into his brain went the fatal bullet.
A. DoTTLE of wine was dug out of the
ruins of Pompeii the other day, which
had been buried eighteen hundred years.
1t will be opehed soon at a banquet, and
sampled. If age increases the favor OF
wine, as is claimed, that bottle will be
yerv aromatic, and those who drink
much of it will go home in hack
Pecks SIa.
x has the best kindof Areputation as
an uhrivaled lar be is so much at
home in lying" said A, speaking Of him,
+" that whenever by mistake he tells the
truth, he becomes confused and troub-
led. " He's so great liar" said an
other of KS friends, that you can't
even believe the contrary of what he
tells you"
THAT passage in your novel doesn't |!
seem particularly new, you know"
T" Well, maybe it isn't, but then what
does Solomon say? Nothing new under
the sun, you know. Take up any book
YOU ike, and | defy you to find in it a
single word, single syllable, single let
ter even, that hasn't been used over and
over and over again.