The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1880-01-18
CURRENT HUMOR.

|
| Tight lacnR should be encouraged In cvory
possible way. 1t kilsOf the foolish girls nnG
| leaves the sensible ones.
| Queen Victoria receives 5000 day, which
! Is u greni denl oR chnnxe for one sovereign
Boston Commercial Bulletin.
| Tho Bangor Tbmm,rcat wants "Jennle
| Gray Swi 5sh"lm To restrain her tongue" just
/ ng If IL hndn't been strained enough now
| Boston Post.
Itls to he snld In behalf Of the scapcgrace
nephew Of the poet Longgelow That, while ne
has committed several for9eres, hs has never
written my poetry.
The Grant boom Falling barometer; lIn-
certain winds. cloudy, with every Indication
| OF d cyclone. Storm signals from Maine to
Texhs providence STIR
A horse shoe IL considered n sign OF good
luck when you own about $40 pounds of good
hors' tlash Oh which To nail it. Otherwise II
works In better as old iron.
There are eighty-one gold mines In opera
tlOn In North CuDlina and yet the greater
part Of the population Of that State feed on
hog and homny. They arc not proud II thoy
are wealthy.
The Chicago Tttb,mc Is authority for the
statement Tint ono of the Boston women Mt
the recent election deposited Il eurl-pa In
the baIot-hox instead Of tho ticket she In
tended To vote.
AZ the Cattle show. Young farmer -"Are
you fond Of boasts, Miss Gusherton2" Miss
Gusherton -"Dh, really mir. Pawker, If You
mean that Ms n declaration, you must speak
To mamma. Punch.
1t ls charged that Nil female clerks I'm stores
will overreach man who trades with Them
but It takes half tho sting away where the
clerk drops her eyeb and bushes us She hands
You the seventeen cents in change.
How Ia your wife, Mr. Smith" Says
Smith. pointing 10 where ha wife sat In the
next room mt work upon his coat: "She's
ssw-s sew" Mr.. Jones -"Oh, | see; she Is
mendlng, sure enough" - Boston transcript
Information wanted II milk Is water, chalk,
sleeps stomach and II few other cxotics, and
II butter Is made OF leaf lard and fatty pork,
what In the name OF nature are our cows do
iug2 How are they putting in their timer
Boston Transcript.
"Do you know that Prof. Proctor says the
moon Is just ns cold "Is IL, though, real
ly," auid ahe, sts she leaned very pleasantly
on his arm. Then don't less try to get
warm by it any longer. Let's go In and sit
by the fire." N. Ii. Register.
lii 1878 the famous works Mt Norwich made
2GO.0o0 pistols, and yet 1t ls thought that hall
the boys under twelve years OF age In the
great republic are still destitute Of this neccs-
Anry accessory of q popular education. The
government and the charitable societies will
have to look after this.
yes, sir, | have stopped drinking for
whole year said young man to a compan-
days. my friend, shall not drink u drop"
But you see, replied the companion. that
this being leap-year, has 366 dnys.' THAT'S
n fact" unused the sworn-ofY man. Guess
I'd better select some other year" and they
went into n saloon.
An old farmer out In Indiana says, that for
his part he don't know the present rage for
bonnets with birds Is going to end.
Only four or five years ago he bought his
daughter humming bird; next year she
wanted II robbn, the next n pheasant, and this
season he declares he had to chain up his
turkey or she'd have had that
perched on top Of her head. 4 Andrews BaZlr
Fashion and physlc- How ailments become
the rage OF the season.
Duchess Neuralgia What, that old thing
again this season? Is there nothing new"
Fashionable practitioner-"W Well, your
Grace, there Is a novelty but 1t is hardly in
yet. We call 1t Neuttis dttrna. Charming
iy pretty name'
Duchess prescribe for me- | will take on
myself to bring 1t in Funny Folks.
Two OF those ornaments made of plaster of
paris Favored with sugar were bestowed upon
an urchin, with theusual warning, "Don'teat
them, whatever you do; they will poison
YOU" For some time they were regarded by
him and his younger brother with mingled
awe and admiration, but at no distant day
their mother missed one Tom" said she to
the owner, who was just setting out for school,
what have zee done With that figure2' 'Giv'd
1t to Dick" was the reply; land II he's living
when come home, | mean to eat the other
one myself"
Scene at dinner.-YOung Simpkins has
1een studying In vain on some means of
opening conversation with his fair neighbor-
80 far a total falnre-happy thought-he will
AJAX her IL she likes games-she will say:
Yes; do you2"-he will answer: Yes |
game of cards young lady will laugh at
oke and repeat to her neighbor, and Simp-
kins will be smiled on. Simpkins asks the |
luestion-y young lady says "no"-confusion
II Slmpkins and conversation ceases-Oil |
City Derrick.
At musical reunion given by some aristo- |
cratic amateurs, u lady, who was to have |
sung a cavatina from "Semiramide," refused |
% do 80 when she heard that Rossini was
among the guests. Goaxed and entreated by |
Ter friends. she finally consented, in spite Of |
Ter timidity, and before going to the piano, |
n a great state OF agitation, she whispered TO |
Ros3ini, who had risen to escort her: "Oh |
lear maestro, you have no idea how trem- |
Dlei Just think-to sing your musicl | am |
frightened to DEATH" so am l. madame" |
Vas the response. |
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