The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1880-06-30
a DISEASED HAT

Probably the meanest trick tina
@as ever : syed on white man wa
| played last week 10 this city, ard th'
fact that there is 70 vigilance com
mlttee here is the only reason thl
perpetrators of the trick are alive. A
business man had Just purchased 1
Oew stiff hat, and he went into &
saloon with half dozen friends 10 fl
the hat on his head They all tool
beer, and passed the hat around so al
could see il. One of the meaDest
men that ever held a county office
went 10 the bar tender and bad q
thin alice Of Limberger cheese cut of,
and when the party were looking 81
the fTescOed ceiling through beer
glasses, this wicked person slipped
the cheese under tile sweat leather OF
the nat. and the man put it on and
walked cut The man who owned
the bat is one OF your nervous people,
who Is always complaining OF being
sick, and who feels as though some
dreadful disease Wa. going to take
possession of him and carry him OF.
He went back to his place of business,
took of his hat and laid il on
the table and proceeded to answer
some letters. He thought he detected
smell, and when bis partner ak d
him If he did't feel sick be said he be-
lieved he did. A clerk said il was
evident that somebody's feet needed
washing. The man turned psls, and
said he guessed he would 60 home.
He met a man on the sidewalk who
said the sir was full of miasma, and
In ne street Car q man who sat next
TO him moved away TO the end of the
car, end askei him If he bad lust
come from Chicago. The man with
the hat said he had not, when the
stranger said they we're having q
great deal of smallpox there, and he
be would get out and walk,
and he pulled the bell and Jumped
of. The cold Precipitation broke out
On the forehead OF the man with the
new hat, and he took it of to wipe
his foreheod when the whole piece OF
cheese seemed to roll over and
breathe, and the man got the full |
benefit OF it, and he came near
iainting away. He got home, and |
his wife net him and asked what was
The matter. He said he believed |
modification had set ia, and she
look one Whit, es be took off his |
lat, and said che should think !
i had. where did you get into
tp' said she. ''Get into it," said the
man, II have not got into anything, |
out some deadly disease has got hold
Of me, and l shall not live." She
old him if any disease that smeiled |
ike that had got bold OF him, and |
Was going to be chronic, she felt as
hough he would be a burthen to |
himself if he lived very long. She
got mis- clothes Of, soaked his fee: in
mustard water, and he slept. The |
pat was lying on the centre table, and |
he children would come in and get a |
imell OF it, and look at each other
With reproaChful chances, and go out
ind play. The man elept and |
lreamed that Il smallpox flag was
lung in front Of his house, and that
le was riding in butcher wagon to
he pest house.
The vile sent for a doctor, and
when the man of pills arrived she told
linn all about the Gaze. The doctor
picked up the patients new bat,
ried II OH and got sniff. He said
he hat was picked before it was ripe.
The doctor and the vile held 8 post,
nortem examination of the bat and
0und the slice OF Limberger. Few
nd ahort were the prayers they
aid" They woke the patient, and
prepare his mind for the revelation
nat Was about to be made, the doctor
sized him if his worldly affairs were
] a satisfactory condition. He
asped and said they were. The
octoT asked him if he had made his 7
ill. He said that be had not, but
lat he wanted lawyer cent for at
nee. The doctor asked him if be
ut as though he wss prepared to
lut1le of. The man said he had
ways tried to lead different lie,
I'D had Tried 10 be done by the same
J be would do it himself, bu. that be
light have made a misdesl some
sy. and he would like to have
mister sent Tor to take an account
stock.
Then the doctor brought TO the
edside the hat, opened up the sweat
ather and showed the dying
an what it was that smeled so, and
Id him that he was as we'll as any
an in TIE city. The patient pinched |
mself to see if he was alive, and
mped out of bed and called for his
VOlVer, and the doctor couldn't Il
Yep up with him down town. The s
st We cav OF the odoriferous citizen +
was trying to bride the bartender y
tell him which one of those peli. e