The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-11-17
NV Wife'S Relation.

My Wife's Relation.
"Boiled chicken for tea, eh ?'' sale
I. "And lobster salad aud fried oys
tiers Upon my word this looks as
if we were going to have company
$50 we are, my DEAR" said my
wife, looking little guilty, as she
polished up the surface of the silver
tea-tray with chamois leather.
They are all coming to visit me-
Uncle Sias and Aunt Millicent. and
and the chill dren. and Cousin Joab,
and the two Miss Wilmerdings. and
my Aunt Louisa, to meet the Rev.
Mr.. Sparkwell, from Minnesota, who
married my cousin, Jerusha Wild,
Mr.. Sparkwell is troubled with cat
arrh, and he thinks of staying AZ our
house for few weeks while he is be-
ing treated by DR.. Dosem."
I put down my linen buster and
paper parcels with some emphasis
"Oh, contound the Rev. Mr.. Spark
we'll said I.
"John!" calculated my wife.
"Well, my dear, l can't help it, -
said |. ''It's not human nature to
endure everything. And I've been
relationed out OF all patience ever
since we were married The Jen-
kinses went away last week, the
Birdsalls took an affectionate leave
yesterday, and now, just as l was
contemplating peaceful evening by
ourselves, here's a new swarm, hun
grier than the rest, just about TO set
tie down upon us. In my opinion,
Kitty, my dear, relations should be
abolished"
II am surprised at you, John, y
said my wife, "hy own people that
- 4. s2as St iial.aa nj Ken;
my DEAR" said Its your comfort
able spring beds and cookery that
they are fond OF, not you"
John !"
I'D be willing to wager a good
round sum on the truth OF my asser
TONS" said l.
Because you have no relations
yourself"
"Thank Providence for that" said
I, devoutly. II was reared in a
founding asylum, and have nobody to
thank but myself for my tolerable
success in the world"
''lts no reason you should find
fault with mine," said Kitty, with
her bright blue eyes full OF tears
"And Mr.. Sparkwell is such spirit.
. ually minded man, and dear Uncle
Silas loves you just as if you were
his only son, and Cousin Joab is so
interested in the children"
Pm much obliged to EN-" said l,
Gryly, "but slept all last week on
sofa cushions laid in the bath tub
we have had fourteen people here
over the anniversaries; and | was
obliged to give up my own room for
month last winter to old Manswell,
not to speak of our Elm g all
poisoned with Aunt Louisa's hygiene
mess in the fall When the poet
said, "There's no place like home"
l presume he meant when there's no
relations visiting there. I'll tell you
what, my DEAR" with a sudden in
spiration, give a great mind form.
ally to deed over this house to your
relations, if they will agree solemnly
to leave me in peace for the rest OF
my life, wheresoever 1 may set up
my family tent"
Nonsense" said my wife. ado
go up stairs and change your things,
and brush your hair and get ready
for tea. They're all waiting in the
best parlor, and l was expecting
your return to see about hiring some
cot beds from the village hotel to
put up in the attic for those four
little Sparkwell children. You see
Aunt Louise has the blue bedroom,
and Cousin Joab sleeps in the little
wing chamber, and Mr.. and Mrs.
Sparkwell will have our room and
j."
] Indeed r' said l, "and we are to
4 sleep in the barn, l suppose ?"
iUI0nnif ha owNec Tol,, - ,o;l 49,.