The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-16
How to Shine In European Society.

! the head of the murderer rolled into the
| basket prepared for it.-Puris Telegram.
How to Shine In European Society.
I am speaking now concerning the ex-
periences of a number of delightful
Saturday nights at Lady HIS. Once
gentleman, on ascertaining that was an
American, became for time much in
terested in me. Because I was an
American he seemed to take it for granted
that had been under fire, and that was
a lead mine of bullets. Because was
there alive he also assumed that must
have killed some other man who tried to
kill me.
ssHave you seen some rough times in
California;" said he.
eyes, had"
"Good many fights?"
''Ever seen man killed in fight?"
''Yes, once"
"Hah! Well, now, my fellah, hope
you won't consider me 1nquisitive, but,
really, I've great desire to know of the
details of those personal encounters, you
know, and hope you'll pardon me now
for asking such question, but-did you
ever kill man?"
Idiot that I was said "No." He
dropped me almost Immediately. was
to him no longer an object of interest.
What he wanted was red-handed
American murderer. He had Thought
me one. He had prospected me,
and found no corpse on the ledge.
| was mere bank of peaceful,
bloodless, barren clay. panned out
neither crime, murder nor blood. I
II 4o0 ,1,rt1 1o - -
His face said ssThis man has not i'm
proved his early opportunities. He has
lived in California half lifetime, and
never killed mcn or got killed him
SELF" managed afterward to regain a
little of my lost standing in this gentle
mans estimation. told him that was
once, in California, on jury which
tried Texas Jack for murder, and voted
for his acquittal. But this was a mere
rush-light compared to the letter result
ing from killing the man myself. Young
man, before going to Europe and there
encountering Society be sure that you
have killed your man. Kill something
kill tramp or an edito- if you can do
no better; carry then your knife and pis.
tol to London; keep them prominently
the table at club dinners; talk pistol;
feel absently and hurriedly at times
about your hip as if to know amid the
rockets red glare, bombs bursting in
air, your Smith & Weston is still there.
It pays. My friend Ranchero Arizona
Vaquero, whose maiden name in Amer
ica is Jones, did it, and gained a valua-
BILE reputation for desperate smitten
with occasional spasms of remorse for
the seven men whom he vaguely limited
he had shot through the heads. f.
Chronicle.
JEFFERsoN's MANNERS. Jeffer-
son became President, he carried his
simple manners into official life, He de-
termined that his Inauguration as the
chief officer of the Republic should be as
free from display as possible. Dressed
in plain black clothes, he rode on horse
back to the old capitol, without guard er
servant, dismounted without assistance,
and hitched his horse to the fence. On
the steps he was met by number of his
friends, who accompanied him to the
Senate chamber, where he delivered his
inaugural address. During the adminis- !
tration of General Washington and John :,
Adams the sessions of Congress had been
opened in a style similar to that hy sFhbeh
the English Sovereign opens ParttsInenaa
The President, accompanied by a4afge
escort on horseback, drove in state TO the
Capitol. Taking his seat in the Senate (,
chamber, and the House of Representa-
tives being summoned, he read his ad-
dress. Mr.. Jefferson, to whom such GER
emonies were distasteful, swept them all
away at one act. He sent written mes
sage to Congress, which was read To. both
houses by their respective clerks, and
that practice has been observed ever
since. Against one of his reforms, how
ever, the ladies of Washington rose up
en- n1asse Mr.. jefferson, disiking the
levees which had been held at the White
House, abolished them. He established
two public days for the reception of COM
pany-the LIST of January and the Fourth
of July. On other days he was>s.T home
to all who came on business or out of
courtesy. Many of the Washington la
dies, indignant at their social pleasure
being thus curtailed, determined to force
the President to hold the customary
levees. On the usual 1evee day they re-
sorted, in full dress to the White House..
The President was out taking ride on
horseback. On his return, he found the
public rooms filed with elegantly
dressed ladies. At-1once divinin0 the
cause. he appeared before his fan guests
booted, spurred and cayered with dust.
So courageous was his reception of them,
and so graceful were HIS manners, that
the ladies went away delighted with the
President, but chagrined with them
selves. They felt that they had been
guilty of rudeness in visiting guest
who did not expect them. It was their
last attempt tosbreak through the rules
of Jefferson's household. - Youth's Com
a,a,sion.
ssPa, DEAR asked his son aud heir,
'sTell me what is the difference between
accident and misfortune?" "Pa dear"
gave it up. ssWell,o said the son and
heir, .'if my pressing tailor, Mr.. Snipp &
son, were to fall into deep pond IL
would be an accident; .but~if anyppa
were, were e { ] pun him hi9 "a ps