The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-08-19
DIR Dessert.

A Rochester church choi has been
singing Shoot the Glad Tidings.'
We try to be right. and it was only
yesterday that We declined one OF our
own articles.
When Adonis gave his girl an onyx
ring the other day, she could only re-
mark that the gift was onyxpected.
Yes" said johnny, ''lapsus may be
the LATIN for slip but when mother
laps us it usually means a slipper"
1t is now claimed that the express
sion Eureka" was used when Socrates
sat down on o tack for which he had
been looking.
Moral swuashun liz a good thing to
kaptivate lambs with, but is good for
nothing on mules, only to festoon the
klub with.
Peter Zabrieskowat scnibera is a Nor
weeian doing business in kandiyohi.
MINI. Nobody ever bothered him by
punulng on his name.
An ameteur blacksmith conceived
the idea of mailing horse shoes on the
hind feet of a mule. The mans only
son now owns the tools.
u II isn't the fall of Adam that wor-
ries men now. it is how to get up a
campaign lie that will not. be "naiIed
before 1t is a week old.
An observing man has discovered n
similarity between the young LADIES'
seminary and a sugarshouse, as both
refine what is already sweet.
There is a man in New Jersey who Is
so innocent that he thought the holes
in a porous plaster were places where
the tacks we're driven in
A French provincial playful, in set
ting forth the particulars of a drama,
that the roles of thieves Will
be played by ameteurs OF the town.
A mans eve never sparks so much
like a Bowerv diamond as when he
happens to look through au old vest
and Discovers a dime wedged in the
lining.
An exchange says: "Vice President
Wheeler is fishing in the White Noun
aims" He is capable of it. He
would fish in Mount Vesuvius if he
had the least chance of getting a bite.
A lightning rod agent was struck by
lightning the other day, and the phe-
p0menon can only accounted for on the
theory that the electric fluid got tired
of being lied about.
Vt thirty We are all trying to carve
our names in big letters upon the walls
of this tenement of life; twenty years
later we have carved IT or shut up on
~iacknif".
A couple of plumbers are talking of
buving Niagra Falls this summer ana
presenting it to the Government. Il is
understood to be a sort Ct bride offered
the signal service.
SENATOR Edmunds is an enthusl-
astic angler, and makes a trip every
summer to the salmon rivers OF the
North.
No one should make sport of love.
The chap who can't love all he Is worth
when Young is the man whom grocers
compel to pay cash down when he is old
and bald headed.
Elderly gentleman to a freshman on
the train: you don't have any ticket?
mo. travel on my good looks!'
Then after looking over him, You
amt goin' very far
A woman hearing the sufferings Of
our Pilgrim fathers elaborated, popped
nm and inquired, "What OF our Pilgrim
mothers? They had 20 bear oil this
and the Pilgrim fathers besides"
A clergyman nam Holye was so in
discreet as to register his name at a
hotel in Omaha. Within all hour a
dozen persons sent their cards to his
room to ascertain if q flush royal could
not beat four aces.
Scene-the river bank. Spectator
concealed behind tree watching angler
1--we been watching that fellow fish,
ing for the last four hours and be
hasn't had q bite in that time. He
must have the patience of Job?'
As the time for the farmer to use his
moving machine and other labor say
ing c]outrvances draws near, the doctors
grow cheerful and provide themselves
Win lIt1ltN bl IliIJ uilh DalINiuHCSt ~ nv '
for immediate use. o
A shrewd little fellow lived with an
uncle who barely afforded him tn"
necessaries of life. One day the two
we're ont walking together. and saw a
very thin greyhound, and the man
asked his nephew what made the doc
so poor. 81 expect he lives with his
uncle" said the boy.
at is the breath OF the people," said
Douglass, chat purifes the blood OF
the nation" May be so, may be SO;
Douglass knew more about politics
than we do. but we hope to die il We
haven't met people whose breath would
poison a Peoria mash tub.
One of our Boston butchers has gone
stark mad. He was heard to remark to
a customer to-day: mo, sir, this is not
spring lamb; it is mutton The Oldest
inab:tant has been in to say that he new
err heard anything like it in all his ex
perience.
Queries to the moved:
How do you like your new quarters?
Are vou all settled yet?
How did the stovepipe fit?
Did the carpet stretch out all right?
How did the crockery pan out?
Found your toothbrush and razor yet?
How does the furniture look now?
Don't you wish You had never moved?