Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-11-25
NiOodemus Dodge.
A GOOD SKETCH FROM MARX TwAIN's NEW
pOOk

then, leaning his hip against the editors IA
BILE, crossed his mighty brogans, aimed At 4
distant hy from a cresice in his upper teeth
laid him low. and said with composure:
"Wha's the boss p
Il am the boss" said the editor, following
this curious Bit Of, architecture wonderingly
along up to its clock face with his eye.
Don, want anybody fur to learn the bust
ness, 'tdn't likely?"
well, don't know. Would you like to
learn it"
"Paps so po he can't run me no mo- so
want to get a show somers, if can, ',ain''
no difference what-l'm strong and hearty
and don't turn my back on no kind OF
work, hard or soft"
"Do you think you would like to learn
the printing business"
well. don't rely k'yer a dtrn what
do learn, SOS git chance fur 10 make my
way. I'd just as soon learn prin,'n's any.
thing"
Can you read ?"
"Yes-middlin."
"Wrteo"
well, I've seed people could lay over me
thar"
"Chipher'"
mo, good enough 10 keep store, l dom,
reckon, but as fur as twelve times twelve
amt no slouch. To,hcr side Of that is whA,
gifts me"
Where is your home9"
"Tm from old Shelby"
What is your fathers religious denomin-
s,icn ?"
Him. Oh. he's a black smith"
mo. no-I don't mean his trade. Whs,
is his religious denomination p
"Oh-l didn't understand YOU befo'. He's
a Frcemason."
"No-no. YOU don't get my meaning yet.
Wha, ! mean is, does he belong to any
church,"
Now you're talkn.' Couldn't make gu,
xha, you vas trying 10 git through yo' head
no way. Blong TO Church, WHY. boss,
he's been the pixinest kind Of Freewill
Baptis' for 30 years. They amt no piziner
ones'n he is. Mighty good man. pap is.
Everybody says that II they said any df-
ferrn, they wouldn't say i, where wus-
not much they wouldn't"
hat is your own religion?' -
We'll. boss, you've kind o got me thar
and vii you hahn, got me so mighty much
nuthcr. l think il feller he'ps another
shcn he's in trouble, and don't cuss, and
don't do any mean things, nor nuth'n he
amt no business TO do, and don't spell the
saviours name with little <. he amt run
nin' no resks-he's about as saift as If he
blonged TO Church"
But suppose he did spell ii With little
| g-What then?"
We'll. il he done it purpose. | reckon
H. ---l4--,. - ~,-.s~ '.S Vs.Suass -
have no chance, anyway, I'm most rotton
certain bou; that"
What is your name ?"
"Nicodemus Dodge"
Il think mayhe you'll do, Nicodemus.
Wen give YOU trial any way"
"All right"
when would you like to begin'"
Now
SO, within ten minutes after we had first
glimpsed at this nondescript he vas one OF
US. and with his Goa, Oft and hard at it.
Beyond tha, end of our establishment
which vas farthes, from the street vas a
deserted garden, pa,hless and thicAly grown
With the gloomy and vlllainous '.Jimpson
weed and its common friend the stately sun
flower. In the midst Of this mourniul spo,
x.s decayed and aged little frame" house
With but one room, one window and no eell-
ng-it had been q snioke-house a genera
Nas gwen t44ls
lonely and gho.,ly den As 4 bedchamber.
The village smartics recognized a treasure
in Nicodcmus right away buu TO play
Jokes on. !, was easy TO see that he vas
ineonceis ably green and confding. George
Jones had the glory of perpetrating the first
Joke on him. He gave him cigar with a
tre-cracker in it, and winked TO the crowd
to come; the thing exploded presently and
swept away the bulk Of Nicodemuss eye
brows and eye-lashes. He simply said
Il consider them kind of seeg-yars dan
gersome." and seemed to suspect nothing
The next evening Nicodemus waylaid
George and poured bucket Of ice-water
over him.
One day while Nicodemus was in SWIM
ming, Tom McElroy tiled" his clothes
Nicodemus made bonfire of Toms by way
of retaliation.
A third joke was played upon Nieodemus
day or two later-he walked up the mid
die aisle of the village church. with a star
ing handbil pinned upon his shoulders.
The joker spent the rest Of the night, after
church. in the cellar Of deserted house,
and Nicodemus sat on the cellar door till
toward breakfast time, 10 make sure that
the prisoner remembered that If any noise
was made some rough treatment would be
the consequence. The cellar had two feet
Of s,agnant water in it, and was bottomed
with six inches Of soft mud.
But wander from the point. 1t was the
subject Of skeletons that brought this boy
back to my recollection. Before a very long
time had elapsed the village smarties began
to feel an uncomfortable consciousness OF
not having made very shining success ou,
Of their attempts upon the simpleton OF
"Old Shelby" Experiments grew scarce
and chary Now the young doctor came to
the rescue. There was delight and applause
when he proposed to them the plan Of
frightening Nicodemus to death, and ex-
planned how be was going to do it. He had
noble new skeleton-the skeleton of the
late and only local celebrity, Jimmy Finn
the village drunkard-a grisly piece Of
property he had bought of Jimmy Finn
himself at auction. for fifty dollars, under
great competition, when JIMMY lay sick in
the lanyard fortnight before his death.
The fifty dollars had gone promptly for
whisky, and had considerably hurried up
the change of ownership in the skeleton.
The doctor would put the skeleton in Nico-
demus's bed.
This was done about 10: 80 in the even
ing. About Nicodemus's usual bed-t time
midnight-the village jokers came creeping
stealthily through the jimpson weeds and
sunhowers toward the lonely frame den.
They reached the window and peeped in.
There sat the long. legged pauper on his bed
in very short shirt and nothing more. He
was dangling his legs contentedly back and
forth, and wheeling the music of Camp
own Races" out of a paper-overlaid comb
which he was pressing against his mouth /;
by him lay new jews harp, new top. a
solid India rubber ball, handful Of painted
marbles, five pounds Of "store" candy and a
ll-gnawed slab of gingerbread as big and
a. thick as q volume Of sheet music. He
had sold the skeleton to a travelling quack
| for g, and was eniOying the result.