The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1880-03-24
HASH.


Needs looking into-A telescope
We give it up-The breath OF
life.
An ex spurt-a dried up fonn
tain.
Full of interest-the ledger OF q
savings bank.
Pickles are best when they sour
IN one another.
Cats have no fixed political be.
lief. They're usually on the fence.
Hens are very orderly creatures.
1t is seldom that they mislay an egg.
1t is alleged that lovely woman
doesn't stoop to folly so often since
the pull back came in.
1.-THE father Of twins" says the
Cleveland Voice, "is a botanical Gu
double, poppy, as it were. I"
Jones' daughters call the SIX
dress that serves each In its turn,
their mother included, q changeabie
silk.
-"Pinafore," has been translated
into Russian. "What neveroyitch-
skip "Well, hardly everohsko
Witch"
The difference between a pocket
measure and vegetarian is: One ia
foot rule, and the other a root fool
-"standing Bear" said nm old
lady, show dreadful! l suppose the
Indian agents have stolen all his
clothes"
"A bride may very plainly made
dress al her wedding, but she wants
to have IL pulled in the papers.
The young emperor of China
has seventy wives to begin with, and
it may be necessary eventually TO re.
sort TO a draft.
"A wise paragraher remarks: "a
man who declared himself to be in
toxicsted with music was considered
air tight"
The manager OF q church fair
when asked if there would be music
each evening replied: "No; but
there will be singing"
1t must have been slippery wea
Their when the prodigal son returned
as it is recorded that the old man
''fell on his neck"
by the measurement given in
the Book of Revelation there is only
room enough in heaven for 297, 900,
900, ooo, 900 persons.
"A man should have a fortune
who thinks of marrying ballet dan
GER, because it is next to impossible
to keep her in clothes.
"A sea captain might make sure
OF q supply of chickens during The
longest voyage, by putting enough
eggs under The hatc''way.
If you wish to marry lad,
whom il wont cost you much to sup
port, don't selec, a hurlesque actres.
under the Impression that she won
costume much.
The only bad thing about bur
giar alarm is the fact that it give!
the burglar n change to run before
you can open window and give hin
fatherly advice.
Lawyer Ito witness:) "Did yos
say that an incompetent man coult
keep q hotel just rs well as any
bodyw Witness: "No; / said an inn
experienced man could"
Music teachers to scholar.
"You see that note with an opel
space, that's u whole note. Can yo'
remember thst2'' "Ycs'm. A Who'll
note is a note that has hole in it.
"A Californian's matrimonial al
vert isement winds up as follows
Fortune no object, hut should re
quire the gals Il, l,tions to dcposi
81 900 with me as a security for he
good behavior.
Matter of taste: Conductor, pu,
ting his head inside, "Only room fo
one inside. Which shall we have?
Stout old gentleman: The little one
Nice young gentleman, 'The prett
one Punch.
The Western lady who read in
newspaper that baking powder VS.
a good thing, thought she'd baa
some, and her old man on arrivin
where the cabin had stood, said /
wouldn't mind the affair 80 much
she'd let the dog ont before BLOWN
herself and the property to glory
that style.
He axed If he might see her HON.
She axed him into tea;
He never hesitated, but