Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1880-01-07


A Yankee woman recently married a
Chinese Inundryman, and in three days
thereafter the unhappy Celestial appeared
III Il bari er shop and ordered his piglail 10
be cut of, saying in explanation: Too
muchce yank
A man in Springfield, Mass. sold his
horses last June. tut Il e blacksmith be
had employed has ST. mt III his hill ior 4lue-
ing ETC., monthly. with unvarying rtsu.
larity, ever sin CO. In his early days lie
had been book keeper Tor II gas compa-
ny.
Two gentlemen passing a blackberry
bush while the fruit was unripe, one of
them remarke That it WAS ridiculous 10
call them 6iacE berries when they were
r.d. Do you not know" replied his
friend, that 6iGck hrrries are always red
when they are green -
The only pun Abe Lincoln ever made
was when he was splitting rails and his
boss criticised his work severely. How
do you feel nowP asked II fellow workman.
He thought Il min ute and replied, feel
maui right. 1t is believed that this was
what started his presidential boom.
"Well, my man." said military doctor
to u patient who had been on " low diet "
for long time. how are youp' "Much
better, sill" Gould You eat - small chick
en- to-day?' THAT could, sir" "What
would you like it stuffed wilh?' Please
your honor replied The hungry patient
would like it stuffed with nolhrr."
~ want TO sell you an encyclopedia
| snil a bpf,l N rf f,t
pork men ne other day, who, hy tie way,
books. What do | want with your ency-
couldn't lide one if | had it!' lie thought
1t WAS new variety of velocipede.-
cinmaH saturday Night.
! A Hartford man recently sent jok ing
letter to friend, which wound up with:
You had better keep shady for while
and not attempt to negotiate those bonds
YOU stole, us they are all registered and
the police are watching for them" The
letter went to the wrong person, who on
opening it "smelt cheese and notified the
police. The man was arr sted and was
put to some trouble TO explain things.
The story is told of little boy. who.
having gotten into II passion, was told by
his mother to 90 to God for iOrg gvenuss.
She heard him ask IN his childish way
never to be angry again; and he added:
Lord. make ma ten per better, too" I"
This simple prayer spe ks whole volumes
to arrnl>. Do we cavern oar children
with such kindly words, such pleasant
tones, shch Il loving spirit, that we can
then aud there ask Gods blessing upon
| our workP
An editor Of a western paper says h
shall appear at the day of judgment whh
the subscription book under his arm. and
stand face to face with delinquent sub
scribers. If the method is TO become gen
eral some inventor can make fortune by
patentng n fire proof paper for subscrip-
tion books. An editor would feel chagrined
to be shown into the antero0m of ilades,
with his hook under his arm, TO wait his
turn, and have the books catch fire and
burn up his accounts -MiUaukee Sun.
A Providence man relates that when he
was IL little boy he was one day standing
in Market square with his grandfather,
when four lrshncn came up, one of whom
asked the distance 10 Pawlucket. He was
told by the old gentleman that il WAS
about four miles, "Well, faith, said Pat.
in II mock tone Of encouragement 10 his
three til ed companions, 'lhat's not bad at
all-only II mile apiece for us" Whom
do you want tn see in Puwuckel P 'inquir-
ed he. BE jtbers.' WAS the quick reply.
:" | want 10 see myself there most Of any
body"