The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-06-05
THE FRESHMAN.

From n. Y. World, College Chronicle
Cities may exist without ST. PatrIck's Day
professions, but there can he no college with.
o1t Freshmen, and while Freshmen flourish
there can be no excuse left to their olders and
betters for pretending that life has lost It's
charm. Like May'day night on the back of
bicycle, alongside pleasant pastures, fragrant
with the fine aroma Of blossomlng fruIttrees
and musical with the soft murmur of babbing
brooks the contemplation of such simplicity
and innocence must stir the blood of the most
sluggish and touch his heart with that touch
of nature which makes the whole world KIN
Surely no gray bearded college man who
glances at the verdant panorama, now stretch
cd across this page for his spring.tdc delecta
ton, can have become SO calloused by carking
cares as to refrain from Calvcrley's confession :
when within my veins the blood ran,
And -" curls were on my brow
did 70 undergraduates,
Mu' ) we are doing now"
~ say ank," said Williams Freshman
to an c. Jedingly youthfulappearing class
mate, were you precocous, or were you goad-
ed oa to entery'
The question of entrance at Amherst was
dclicately settled in form following:
Soph0mOre-Can you tell me IN what par.
ticular you resemble the hill that leads up to
Isis 1t because am gradually rising high.
er? Sophomore On disgusD-No. Freshman
(alter more thought)-Bb because | am dan.
gerOus to walk ony Sophomore threatening.
ly)-No! Freshman-Well, give it up. 50.
phomore Uriumphantly) -Because you are an
ascent to college
1t is the amherst StudeHt, too, which tells of
Freshman who, possessing great fondness
tor jewelry, recently purchased pin which
Boss weeds diamond could not have rivalled
in its palmest day. But he has been induced
to sell by his Sophomore friend, who dreamed
three nights in succession, that the pm was
charged with an ounce and half of dynamite
which was about to blow the owner to atoms "
Less scltdistrusttul was the Freshman men.
toned by the Williams IthenBum "who re-
Gently went to Troy to attend "A German. lie
got an excuse from his class officer on the
ground that he was writing novel, and had
to go TO the city TO see his publishers and cor
rect the proof" This novel might very prop.
crly be presumed to be identical with the 70.
nance OF college life called -Four Years in
the Saddle, which popular paragraph at
tributes "a Freshman" US intending to write,
were 1t not that the particular Freshman whose
wit ls thus embalmed gave voice To it some
years ago and was resident Of Union College
The Freshman mind, however, Is capable of
connecting other novel excuses than those
which relate TO the writing Of books, as il
hown by this specimen from Philadelphia:
lie returned to the university late again as
usual. His excuse 10 the VicePresident was
that familiar one that his grandmother had
died. The V. L. put on his glasses looked oy-
er the records, and informed the gentleman
that he had two grandmothers die already.
Then the student stammered and hemmed and
SAID that he had misspoken himself; 1t was
his mother-in-law that had left this vale of
tears. Then the Y. L. was satisfied Offered
his congratulations, and the student went his
way"
N found some beautiful flowers in the woods
to-day, but / can't think of their name. L.
isn't trailing arbutus." Thus asked a Fresh
man at Unicn of an upper classman who.
looking up from his textbook On zoology. sup
gested: is it Lamellipranchlatay ayes,
remember now, that's IT," responded the coral
discoverer. A classmate of the latter inour.
ing at drugstore for magnesia, the clerk sug.
gested a well-knOwn make: Husbands
sir" "Oh, no." was the meek response. "I'ye
Just entered college" Two other specimens
are also supplied by the Coacordieasis; "a
Sophomore was contending with Freshman
that literally speaking, twice infinity is great.
er than once Infnity. Il tell YOU exclaimed
the Freshman triumphantly, II was only this
morning that the professor of mathematics