The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1880-02-21
MAKING CALLS.
BY NOSE SKINNER.

Before 1 went off the stage of society through
the trap-door of matrimony fused to make great
many calls Like all verdant young men who
drift idioticay to the breakers of married life,
l called mostly on young ladies. And thought
it was very fine and grand to do this, and l used
to put on my best clothes, and prettiest necktie,
and castor oil my hair, and brush myself up gen.
orally, and start off thoroughly convinced that l
was very genteel and fashionable party, and
great acquisition to society. l didn't know then
that every manageable young man is looked upon
as so much prey to be entrapped, and the young
women who glad to see me were only
pieces of bait And didn't know that the old
ladies who made things so pleasant for me were
lust setting the trap attractively as possible,
and getting themselves ready to do the worrying
after the victim was ensnared warming him up,
as might say, with little dose of mother-in-law.
No, didn't know this, so l used to march up
the steps very frisky, and ring the doorbell, and
inquire for the young ladies with blind trust and
confidence amounting to stupidity. L was even
unconscious of the fact that in some instances the
old lady was squirting at me over the banisters,
and looking me over, with view to my value as
a conjugal investment for one of her olive branches,
previous to sending down word as to whether said
e-branches were at home.
can't say that ever thoroughly enjoyed these
calls. They were for the most part very thin af-
fairs especially as regards the conversation. The
was naturally lean and unhealthy, and it was as
hard work to get fresh subject well underway as
it ever was in dissecting room. remember how
I struggled to make myself agreeable by discussing
various frothy matters, generally falling back on
anecdotes about my dog Jip, and my visit into the
country last summer. Then would glance at the
piano in q supplicating way (how cheerful it is
now by the way, for me to go in a house where
there isn't piano such houses scarce, but
Won can find EN- and ask the young lady in
very humble tone if she wouldn't please play. If
she declined with simper, wasn't discouraged.
O, no, not even when she said she was out of prac
tice, and the piano was out of tune. l fattered
myself that had Travelled, and was up to that
dodge and so insisted upon it.
There was one piece of music that l used to ex-
pect regularly, because l never asked young lady
to play something that she didn't play this partic-
ular piece the first 1t seemed to be sort OF
mania with them Often, when left alone for
moment would hurridly look through pile of
music to see if that piece was there, and when l
found it the cold sweat would start out on my fore
head for / knew / should have to hear it before
could get anything else. 1t is called "The Maidens
PRAYER" Now, / have nothing to say against
"The Maiden's Prayer" 1t may have been q very
soul stirring anthem in its infancy, but after
hearing it three hundred and forty odd times L
became impressed with the idea that there was
| sameness about it. There is nothing sparkling or
attractive about old maiden's prayer like
fried trpe, for instance, twenty-one times week,
but for regular diet l consider it exhaustive.
But 1 think I finally got hardened to "The
| Maiden's Prayer" for when person got through
playing it, and bid for little hattery by remark
ing that they never could play that piece, would
| say, very vivaciously Every pretty indeed, and
charmingly played What is that called? l must
remember and get it for my sister; :" which, in the
first place considering that my sister couldn't play
and in the second place that had no sister, might
be called polite fiction.
And never have forgotten, and never shall
forget, what was brought out for my entertain
ment after the playing was DONE without that
cheerful episode call would be nothing. With
out that article paror would look bare, and young
men and women who are bashful would never get