The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1880-02-14

| ing for music to see pictures instead,
while you are boring the picture-lovers,
who may care nothing for music, with
concerts. A little ingenuity and OBJ
servation will give you enough knowl-
edge of your friends real taste to pre-
vent you from making these mistakes;
and, indeed, there will be little danger
of your doing this, if you keep in mind
that the kindest thing you can do is to
let guests enjoy themselves in their own
way, instead of insisting that they shall
enjoy themselves in yours. If they are
fond of books, let them read in peace.
once heard lady, who thinks herself
hospitable, say to young friend, who
was looking over a book which lay on
the table, i" If you want to read that
book l will lend it to you to take home,
but while you are here l want you to
visit with me-" 3D..
Let your friends alone, now and then,
and do not make them feel that you are
constantly watching over them. Some
people, in tryingto be polite, keep their
guests in continual unrest. The mo-
ment one is comfortably seated they in
sist that she shall get up and take a
|
If she sits in the center of the room they
are sure she cannot see, and if she hap
pens to be by window they are afraid
the light will hurt her eyes.
There is no place where this is more
uncomfortable than at the table. An
entire visit is sometimes spoiled for a
sensitive guest by having her friends
say, from mistaken kindness, " am
sorry you do not like what we have.
Cannot we get you something that you
will like betterp" or, How does it
happen that you have no appetizer in
this way calling the attention of the
whole family to her, and making her
feel that they consider her difficult to
please. You can get something differ
ent for her the next time, if you choose,
but do not let her feel that you are too
carefully watching her plate.
Do not make visitors feel obliged to
account to you for all their comings and
goings, or tire them by constant and
obvious efforts to entertain them. I'm
less they are very stupid people they
will prefer to entertain themselves for
a part of the time, even although you
make them feel that your time is at
their disposal whenever they want it.
/ heard two friends talking not long
ago of a place where they were both in
the habit of visiting.
I" How pleasant it is at Mrs. Chaun-
cey's," said one. If you want her to
go anywhere with you, she always
makes you feel that it is just the place
where she wishes to go herself"
YES" replied the other, 4" she never
makes fuss over you, but acts as if
you did not cause an extra step to be
taken, so that you don't worry all the
time for fear you are making trouble;
and if you want her advice about any
thing you are doing, she is always ready
to stop her own work and show you Just
what you want to know, and makes
you feel as if she was doing it for her
own pleasure instead of yours-so much
nicer than the way some people have
of acting as though you were a con-
slant interruption.
If any excursion is planned, and for
any reason you find that your friend
will be really happier to stay at home,
do not insist upon her going, or allow
the party to be broken up on her &C
count. If she would really enjoy more
to have you 90 without her, do not in
sist upon remaining with her. A friend
of mine suffered much by being obliged
to 60 on a steamboat excursion with q
cinder in her eye, because she found
that her friends would not do as she
wished. and leave her quietly at home,
and so, finding that the pleasure of a
whole party would be broken up, she
endured the pain of going with them,
when she might have passed the after
noon in comparative comfort at home.
In the same way, some people will
insist upon going about on business
with guest, who would much prefer
to 90 alone.
In regard to conversation, remember
sweet George Herbert's rule:
Entice all neatly to what they know best,
For so thou dost thyself and him pleasure.
Talk of the people and things which are
most likely to interest those whom you
wish to please. You would think it
very rude to speak in a language which
your visitors did not understand, and it
is about the same thing to talk of mat
tiers in which they have no interest and
WuiOh ohOy huOW uOtuluS dUOub. Livery
family has its sayings and jokes, which
sound very funny to them, but unless
they are explained they mean nothing
to stranger.
Do not ask many questions about
your guests personal affairs, since you
are taking them at a great disadvan-
tage when they are in your own house,
as they will not like to refuse to answer.
Be careful not to be too ready with adj
vice about visitors dress. If she asks
you what is most suitable to wear on
any occasion, tell her frankly; but
above all things do not say or do any
thing which shall indicate that you do
think her clothes are not as pretty and
fashionable as they ought to be. Some
times remark, made with kindest in
tentions, will hurt a sensitive girls
feelings. Those of you who have read
The Diary of Mrs. Kitty Trevellyan,'
will remember how the little country
cousin felt when she saw Evelyn smile
at the dress which had been made with
so much care. l once heard lady
speaking of her girlhood, when she
made her first visit away from the farm
where she had always lived. She said,
as she looked back upon it, she always
wOnderad at the kindnnss Of tho fr;a0ds