The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-11-09
spoopendyke's Suspenders,

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spoopendyke's suspsnders,
ilif la af -fN 1faig a.sa hiial
.Now, my dear said Mr.. Spoopcn-
dyke. as he stretched himself and
drew on his pantsloons. you have
cleaned these trowscrs up first rate.
This Is what call economy. IL
saves money. IT'D taken 'cm to the
tailor's it would have cost a couple Of
dollars at least, aud you've saved Just
that amount" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
went to his abIuiions and then pulled
on his shsrt. N 'isf3 i'fl as !. s7tij
. "I'H clean your coat, too. II you
like said Mrs. Spoopendyke,-.
Leave il home some day III take
this spot out OF the sleeve and Mrs.
Spoopendyke bnstled around and
looked delighted with the idea OF
pleasing her husband. "A Il
"Whcre's my suspendcrs,' asked
Mr.. Spoopen,lyke, screwing himself
around and looking down his back.
.You didn't clean the suspenders
clear out OF sight, did your
.rhey were there when you put on
your pants" said Mrs. Spoopcndyke.
| haven't touched them. What did
you do with ihcmT ,45a6m|
"Oh yes, certainly. ! did some
thing with them! What dye 'tpose
| did with Them? Think set 'eni
up in business somewhere. don't ye!
Got an idea gave 'em a vacation 70
10 fishing, haven't ye5 Well, !
didn't. ani more'n that didn't send
eu away TO be cdneaicd for the min.
islry, Where's my suapendersf
Whsre'd you put 'cin9 'Spose lm
going around holding these pants up
all day ?r Think ! got no business
Interests besides holding on my
breeches with both hands! Whatu
you do with the measly thingsr'
II know Ididn'i take them off the
pants" sni,l Mrs Spoorendyke, pull.
ling o,,cn the bureau drawers and
lhus,iing things around In n vain en-
,lcayor 10 find the inissing articles
.Aiaybc | can fix your pants so you
won't need any suspenders to-day,
and III find them before night sug'
pes,ed Mrs. Spoopendykc."
"That's il. You've got IT, raved
Mr.. Spoopendykc. ''llow are yon
going TO fix 'em? Going TO tie them
on with shoestring, like You d,
your bustlcs Going to walk nronnf
behind me all day and hold 'cm ON
! p'raps YOU can pull 'cm up aud bnt'
! ifon iem around my neck! How Ny
! propose 10 fix cml Going toput 'er
. on mc upside. down SO II they ial
they'll fall up (? II had your head Il
uo ONT to service as n file. Fix 'cm
). why ,lon't ye2 Why dentye fix EN-
These trowecrs are getting SICK ~ W
!, stomach waiting to be iixcdl" an
!, MIR. Spoopendvke shot across p
i room aud dove. under the wardrob
ci in search OF the lost suspcnders,
J, .They must be there somewhere;
7 sShow 'em 10 inc thenl' demand
! ell Mr.. Spoopendyke, take assic
and point 'cm out TO me Of conri
. they're here somewhere, .on'y Ju
!, put your thumb on 'em! what nav
y 70 done with 'em? Can't ye rcco
~ iect whether ye mado EN- mp into 81
:, bands Tor tho heathcn IKE you q
! MY dressing.gown, or whctherys
's i,lapted them to see II they wou
s. grow. like you did my straw hal
!, Think they walked OF like a croi'
y bug? S'posc those suspcnoers nm
:. taken their girl to n picnic ~ Wh
~ Kind Of housekeeping dyo call u
W anyhowpo Where's my sufpenunee,rFs.
~ howlcd Mr.. Spoopendyke. posi
~ around III the soiled c'oihcs "
~ Where's those suspenders ~ ana
'ss pulled the books of the shc'' a
rummngcd around behind tnc q
no with broomrhsndle fora div,ng J,
nd s..Iust lei me buckle them tight
ne ne hind, said Mrs. opoopehuYke'