Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1880-04-24

could make paregoric ont OF umhrctiaS,
and boil down an illustrated weekly pa
per into otto of roses. He has the hlarf-
cdcst ingenuity. You wouldn't believe"
''Bnt your customers generally are sat
isfied ?"
ooh, yes. You see they don't know.
doctor sends a prescription here, written
i'll Il dead language. We don't bother
ourselves to try to read it. 1 ask the boy
what's the matter with the patient. Then
| put little cayenne pepper IN some mo-
lasscs, and touch her up with assafctida
to give her q good, strong smell, and drop
in some squills and ipccac to make Il
kind of goncncss in the stomach. and
stir in some wormwood to make her take
hold of the insides, and then let her go.
Patient thinks its splendid because it
tastes nasty; and the old man gets the
money, and so everybody's happy
There's woman around in Pine street
with lumbago who deals with us, and one
day when | forgot to pat the assaGctida
in the lotion, she sent arounda and threat
cncd to prosecute us for malpractice. The
old man fixed up the next bottle so that
YOU coald have Snclt it III Asatic Turkey
when tho cork Was out. That seemed to
calm her"
do the physicians approve of that
kind Of thing p
ooh, you know, The doctors all work
share and share with the Old man. If Il
doctor secs 4 woman going TO die any
how, lie loads her up with drugs, and
then collects twenty-five per cent. COM
mission from us. And so when we acci-
dentally put in arsenic instead of glaUhcr
salts, and Il corvalcsccnt patient climbs
the Golden stair, the doctor knows better
than to make a fuss about the mistake.
He wipes his eyes and tells the family lac
saw the disease would be fatal from the
first. Wehavc anew boy hcIe whomakcs
about four fatal blundcrs week. Never
gets hold of any harmless drug when
there's Il deadly poison within reach. The
Old man hires hir1l for economy. Only
last week he sent a quart oflaudauum to
Il young Clergyman who sent for port
wine, and one of our best customers WAS
an angel in less than an hour. if that
boy was let so, perfectly loose, to Go just
as he pleased he'd fill all the cemeteries
in town before the month was out Vel
low fever and cholera combined are not
half as dangerous as that boy"
| "Whcrc is he y
"Why, he is out now. He took to Mrs
Jones who has ccrl bro-spnal meningitis,
the medicine that was iutcned for Mrs.
BlacHburns baby and the baby got Mrs.
Jones' prescription. You just notice when
you 60 by Blackburn's if there isn't Grape
on the door. I bet sou pound of cough
lozcnges that baby was waited into the
mysterious realms of the hereafter, three
quarters Of an hour ago. That hoy never
knows hero anything is but the gum
drops and the liccricc. He can GO strai Ght
to them every time. Here he comes now.
Say, Johnny, did YOU fix it all right -
"No,' said Il small BOY, who entered ut
the moment. '.Blackbnrn's baby got a
dose before l reached the house, and it
has gone Np.'
Il told You So said the clerk to me-
And turning to Johnny, he said ''l on
look sharp now. Go into tho cellar and
mix the red paint with the old mans
patent liver pads, and see il we ain t
nearly ont of lard and soft soap for his
Balm of Peru, for removing ttcckles and
Purifying the complexion"
"Why," said tho boy, drawing his head
out of the gum drop drawer: "thc Ole!
man told me he wanted the lard put mp
into boxes for letter ointment, and that
when WAS done l should melt up the
glue for the jujube pastc.'
While the clerk argued the matter with
him l paid for the soda water and with
dlcw. Both the clerk and tlIc boy struck
me as likely to bcyery efficient rs instrjl-
mcnts of sudden dcath.--MaN Aleler.