St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-02-20
The Brakeman who went to Church.
burlington Hawkeye. |

says: 81 went to church yesterday"
eyes q' said, with that interested
infection that asks for more. "And
what church did you attend 7" q.
(Which do you guess 2" he asked.
"Some union mission church ?n haz-
arded. s -'
'Naw," he said, 81 don't like to run
on these branch roads very much.
don't often go to church, and when
do, l want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you go
on schedule time and don't have to
wait on connections. l don't like to
run on branch. Good enough, but
don't like it,
Episcopal 2" guessed.
''Limited express" he said, "all pal
ace cars and 80 extra for seat; fast
time, and only stops at the big stations.
Nice line, but too exhaustive for a
brakeman. All train men in uniform,
conductors punch and lantern silver
plated, and no train boys allowed.
Then the passengers are allowed to
talk back at the conductor; and it
makes them too free and easy. No, L
couldn't stand the palace cars. Rich
road, though. Don't often hear of a
receiver being appointed for that line.
Some mighty nice people travel on it,
too"
''Universalist 2" l guessed.
BROAD gauge" said the brakeman,
'does too much complimentary bust
ness. Everybody travels on a pass
Conductor doesn't get fare once in
fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but un-
ion depot. No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are vague, though,
and the trainmen don't get along well
with the passengers. No, l don't go to
the Universalist, though l know some
awfully good men who run on that
road"
"Perhaps you went to the Unitari-
ans 2"
"No, didn't, but L might have done
worse. That is a mighty good road,
we'll ballasted with reason, though it
runs through a region little bit cold,
and there is apt to be some ice and
snow on the track, but in case of acci-
dent there is no danger of upsettiug the
stoves and being burnt up; and there's
one good thing about it, the neighbors
are generally ready to come and help
when you do get into trouble. They
like to have things nice and cOmfOrta-
BILE in this world, doing what they
think is about right and taking their
chances for the other. They don't
seem to take much stock in being as
miserable as you can here in the hope
that you will he the happier for ii
there. They seem to think that a
mans going to reap the same kind of
crop that he plants, and that if he puts
in a selfish, worthless kind of a life on
this earth it amt a-going to come out
very fine specimen in heaven. Seems
to me some sense as well as poetry in
that, but | was raised an orthodox and
'twouldn't do for me to be seen on that
train or | might lose my place on the
other line, as there's good deal OF
competition between the two roads,
and our folks are getting afraid of los
ing travel"
"Presbyterian 2" L asked.
"Narrow gauge, eh 2" said the brake
man, pretty track, straight as rule
tunnel right through a mountain rather
than go around it spirit-level grade
passengers have to show their tickets
before they get on the train. Mighty
strict road, but the cars are little mar
row have to sit one in seat and NO
room in the aisle to dance. Then
there's no stop-over tickets allowed
got to go straight through to the sta
ton you're ticketed for, or you can't
get on at all. When the cars full, ne
extra coaches cars built at the shops
to hold just so many and nobody else
allowed on. But you don't often hear
of an accident on this road. It's run
right up to the rules"
"Maybe you joined the free think
ers ~ said.
"Scrub road,n said the brakeman,
'Edirt road bed and no ballast no time
card and ne train dispatcher. All
trains run wild and every engineer
makes his own time, just as he pleases
Smoke if you want to; kind of go-as-
you-please road. Too many side tracks
and every switch wide open all the
time, with the switchman sound asleep
and the target lamp dead out. Get or
as you please and get off when you
want to. Don't have to show .youl
tickets, and the conductor isn't expect,
ed to do anything but amuse the pas
sengers. No, sir, was offered pass
but | don't like the line. 1 don't like
to travel on line that has no terminus
Do you know, sir, l asked a division
superintendent where that road run to
and he said he hoped to die if he knew
1 asked him if the general superinten.
dent could tell me, and he said he
didn't believe they had a general su
perintendent, and if they had he didn'
know any more about the road thar
the passengers. 1 asked him who ht
reported to, and he said nobody
asked conductor who he got his or
ders from, and he said he didn't take
orders from any living man or deat
ghost. And when asked the engineer
who he got his orders from, be sai(
he'd like to see anybody give him OF
ders, he'd run that train to suit him
self or he'd run it into the ditch. Nov
you see, sir, I'm railroad man, and
don't care to run on a road that make
no connections, runs nowhere and ha
NO superintendent. 1t may be all right
but I've railroaded too long to under
stand it."
''Did you try the Methodist ?"
asked.
"Now you're shouting" he said will
some enthusiasm. "Nice road, eh
Fast time and plenty of passengers
Engines carry a power of steam, an,
don't you forget it; steam gauge show
a hundred and enough all the time
Lively road; when the conducto
shouts 'all aboard you can hear hin
to the next station Every train lam
shines like a headlight. Stop owe
J checks given on all through tickets
passengers drop off the train as ofte
as they like, do the station two O
, three days and hop on the next revivs
r train that comes laundering alOnf