Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-11-11
aflistellaueons &eadiug.
MAKING HOME ATTRACTIVE.

MAKING HOME ATTRACTIVE.
1t has latterly been discovered that the reas-
on why men, whether young or old, take to
dissipation and drunkenness, is the fact that
home is not made attractive to them. Form
erly we were told that intemperance was the
exclusive work of the rum seller, who COM
PEELED his fellow men to drink. AS matter
of fact, no one except professional temper
ance lecturer has seen the rumseller engaged
in his favorite occupation of invading peace
full homes, dragging fathers and sons from
their beds, and by force Of arms compelling
them to come to his place of business and buy
vast quantities of rum. Such, however, must
formerly have been the constant practice, or
else there was some mistake in the assertion
that he is alone responsible for intemperance,
and that the poor innocent drunkard is his de-
fenceless and pitiabe victim.
After the public las grown tired of hearing
of the Infamous exploits of the rumseller, it
was discovered that men drank rum and went
to Objectionable places of amusement because
their homes were not made attractive. Such
was the defence which Mr.. Higginbottom, of
West Thirty-eighth street, urged in his own
behalf. lie admitted that lie was accustomed
to drink more than was good for him, and that
he frequently spent his evenings at low con-
cert saloons, but he insisted that the fault was
all his wfe's. She did nothing to make home
attractive. 1t is true that she furnished him
with comfortable dinner, but after dinner
| nct1 to
could either put on his slippers and sit down
before the CRATE fire to read, or he could talk
with his wife, who was bright, affectionate,
and cheerful little woman, but such occupa-
tions as these could not have any possible
charm for a man of intellect and taste. Mr..
Higginbottom deeply bewailed his fondness
for rum, and concert saloons, but he appealed
to all unprejudiced men to concede that he was
really blameless. ''lf my home was only made
attractive to me, gentlemen" he was in the
habit of saying to the members of a leading
temperance society, who periodically called on
him to urge him to reform, IL would gladly
spend my evenings at home but as it is 1 am
literally driven to seek comfort elsewhere,
the pleasures of home life.'' So struck were
several temperance men with the force Of Mr..
Higginbottom's remarks, that not long ago
they called upon his wife and begged her to
make an effort to save her unhappy husband
by making his home attractive.
Mrs. Higginbottom consented to make the
desired effort, and, as first step, visited her
husbands favorite concert saloon, under the
protection of disguise and a detective officer.
When she had learned what were the attrac-
tions which most powerfully appealed to Mr..
Higginbottom's mind, she proceeded to repro
duce them, as far as practicable, in her own
house. She had the parlor carpet taken up
and the bare floor nicely sprinkled with beer
and the stumps of cigars. She removed the
pictures from the walls, and hung in their
places cheap and gaudy chromos, representing
impossible young women in undesirable cos
tunes. Two dirty wooden tables and supply
of wooden chairs from the kitchen, completed
the furniture of the room, and it began to as
sumo really attractive appearance.
Before the hour of her husbands return
from business, Mrs. Higginbottom hired man
to play ON an accordeon and another to torture
a violin, besides three professional drunkards
of great indecency of appearance and conduct,
and notorious burglar, kindly furnished for
the occasion by the police captain of the pre-
cinct. There were in the kitchen two Irish
girls who were decidedly ugly, but who were
clean, decent, and modest girls. These two
she instructed in the art of serving beer and
spirits, and dressed them in costumes that
were extremely vulgar, though they could not
| be said to be improper. Having thus arranged
things, she met her husband at the door and
escorted him to the dining-room, where he ate
his dinner, unconscious of the transformation
that had been wrought in the front parlors.
After dinner, Mr. Higginbottom lit his ci-
gar and remarked that he must 60 out for an
hour or two to see friend His wife, with a
sweet smile, told him that he need not 20 out,
| for she had finally discovered how to make
home attractive to him. So saying, she led
him into the parlor and showed him to seat
at one of the dirty tables. The fiddler and the
accordion player Immediately struck up the
drunkards, at sign from Mrs. Higginbottom,
began to swear and wrangle, and the burglar
sidled up to Mr.. Higginbottom and invited
him to take drink. The two Irish girls
brought beer and spilled it on Mr.. Higginbot-
TOMS table they called him "Dear," and ask:
ed him to ''open bottle of wine," and Mrs.
Higginbottom apologiZed for the fact that
they were undeniably decent girls, assured her
husband that nevertheless she was confident
that she had finally learned how to make home
attractive; that she hoped to spend many jolly
evenings with him, and would like hot whis-
ky without any further delay.
Mr.. Higginbottom was at first completely
dazed but in a few moments he recovered his
reason. He ordered the girls to 60 into the
kitchen and stay there, and he pitched the
drunkards out of the front door and ordered
the musicians and burglars to follow them.
Then he informed his wife that he had been al
idiot of the very largest size, and that if she
would restore the parlor to it's former condi-
tion he would stay at home and make no fur
ther complaint of it's want of attractiveness.
Mrs. HigginbottOm's plan cannot very we'll
be followed by other women, but it was GER
tainlya brilliant success. Mr.. Higginbottom
has ceased to spend evenings away from home,
and he has informed his temperance friends
that the real reason why he formerly frequent
ed disreputable places was the fact that he
was fool and a scoundrel. The temperance
people are, of course, glad that he reformed,
but they still maintain that men become dis