The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-06
VARIETY.

Az Illinois girls toast: - The young men Of
America-their arms our support, our arms their
reward ; fall in, men fall in
The sea serpent was seen sixteen times in 1879
against nine times IN 1873. This proves that
the whiskey manufactured last year was almost
twice as demOralizing that made in 1878
NOrTisiOtCH Herald.
Go INTO PARTNERsHP-.s Give me a SOU mis-
ter - said Paris gamin, the other day -
have had no dinner" 80 No more than p" an
swercd the gentleman, who rushing to his
restaurant. - Well, then, =, said the boy, ''give
me two sous, and We u dine together 30
liz looked all over the newspapers on the
newsstand, and, not finding what he wanted,
said TO the plump, pretty gIrl clerk, 81 want
FTreSide COMPANION. - - hat, sir - she blush
ed 81 want FTreside Companion, ," ne repeat
ed. go, yes sir; I hear you now and she
chewed the corner Of her apron. "Well-well
do you think | would dO?'' It turned out
happily--BOsfOH Journal
WuES KISSING Is DANGERoUs.--A contempo-
rnry asks Puck lis kissing dangerous p and
that paper answers: THAT all together depends.
IL the young lady ignores poisonous enamels, and
her father doesn't enter the parlOr during the
midst of the labial exercises, kissing may be in
dulged in with impunity. Kissing another mans
wife IL dangerous, we belieye-if her husband
catches them IN the act.
A benevolent Bostonian, now living in Eng
land, has given 800 to each Of two ladies in
Scituate, Massachusetts,, who, when girls, IN the
War Of 1872, frightened a British man-Of-war
away from the coast by beating a drum and
playing fife, as it a detachment Of American
troops were on hand Says the Chicago Tribune:
elf there bad been one of the present generation
OF Chicago girls on hand with piano, VEN
ture to say that the man-Of-war would have struck
her cOlOrs at once
The MAINE CATEcHIsH.- Question.-Who
makes the governor Of Maine?
Answer.-The legislature
Q.-WhO makes the legislature?
A.-fhe governor.
Q.-DOez an election IN Maine require major
ity vote, or IL a plurality sufficient?
A.-Neither; the person elected must receive
minority Of the votes cast.
Q.-What is the use Of "A popular election in
that state?
A.-That is what no fellow can find out
SHE WAS FROM TExAs.-A couple Of smart chaps
were riding in a buggy last Sunday, says an ex-
change, and drove up to where an old man and
woman were seated in a wagon, to which was
hitched pair Of oxen. They had come from lex
as, and were going TO Missouri.
ssHellO, old man; how much will you take for
your wife, cash up?' said one Of the smart chaps.
s'Well, let's see, said the man, scratching his
head, 81 guess hundred dollars II take err
''Give you seventy-6ye,' replied the smart
chap.
siTake her" said the old man, land LII throw
the wagon and oxen in
The boys in the buggy were beat, and COM
meneed to drive of, when the old woman jump
ed out Of the wagon and exclaimed:
GLAND over the chink, stranger, hand over
the chink; this yere family haint to be bluffed by
no fellers wearini stOve-pipe hats an side-bOard
collars, you bet your muck on that We're from
Texas, we air.
Children are often puzzled by questions which
are not understood by their elders. During the
late FrancO-Prussian war, a Sunday-schOOl scholar
read about the prayers with which the Germans
and French were petitiOniug Heaven for success
on their arms. Mother asked little girl, II
cumstances, do you? He can't give the victory
10 both Of them, and il seems to me like terri
BILE dilemma to be placed in" Her mother, who
was not entirely satisfied with the role which
Great Britain played in the affair, remarked:
''WeI, my dear, perhaps He will do as the Eng
Iish do and remain neutral. .''-ETchaHge.
New version of an old fable in the London Fi-
CARO- a dog, carrying stolen beetsteak IN his
mou 1mes to limpid stream which reflects
surr ing objects as clearly as a mirror. Per-
eeiv. - he reflected image Of himself, he thinks
Of seizing the piece OF meat it holds, which he
supposes to be real, but concludes that 1t would
be prudent first to deyOur his own piece. Then he
looks again IN the stream. The reelected dog has
nothing in bis teeth, and expresses the satisac
tion Of q contented stomach. "Ha :" says the
dog, ssthat fellow had the same idea | had. /"
And he runs away laughing.
- WEEEzIxT -.1.I . @ ..z... II. M ..