davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

your lace, nnd lax IN front OF your
back about something's is a shvind-
Ter. hear dot Brown says week be
fore next apout me | vas a hensh
pecked husband. Dot vas a tam lie !
! DE proof of de eating vas in de pud
ding; am married twenty years nj
ready, und vas not yet baldheaded.
don't vas oonder some petty goats
goHerments; shtill ! thinks it vas better
TIA TELLER will insult NIT his wife und
got her sdvices about something's or
oder.
Dem American vomans don't know
something's meier about her hnspand ;
beesness' IND when dem hart times
came' und not SO much money comes
IA de hause' dot makes not some 'liier.
ence nit her. Shiill she moost hef
one Of dot bull back in de front hoop
skirt pettygoais. NIT every kinds Of
trimmings. Poorly soon dot huspant
gets bankrupted all to pieces. Dey
sends for de doctor, ind vhend de
doctar he comes de man dies. Den
dot woman vas Obliged to marry nit
auoder man vot she don't maybe like
nit six shildrens, on account Of his
first wife already, und possibly one
or two mudders by law-vone second
handed und De odor a shtep mudder-
outlaw. Den she say nit herself,
81 eiler wish | vas dead n leetle.
Now fla Chermans goes dead, dot
does makes no Inference. Nopoddy
does hardly knows II, except himself.
His wife goes on nit de beesiness shust
like no tiirps has bapren,d 70 some
poddv
Americans vomens and Cherman
vomens vas a iiierent kint of beeples.
Far instinct, dot same weller, Mr..
Brown, be goes init me in de butcher
beesiness togedder. lie vas an Amer
lean man--so vas his wife. Veil,
many times ven eiry peoples got lie
panic poorly bad. dot vomans cone to
her huspant und says she moost hab
money. Den she goes out riding nit
carriage.
Vonce upon a time, Brown says to
me. "Bender. wouldn't he henspeck.
cd so he went of und got itself
tight-shust because his wife tells him,
blese don't do it. Den he sits down
NIT his back on de floor, aud if | am
not dare dot time he never would got
home.
Ven dot night, me una mine w'ie'
We had a litiie iaik about someungs
und the next daN ! says 70 Drown
Look here Vonst' MY we sue
makes sausag's una WORKS IN DO.
shtore und makes head sheeze' una
your VIE vas going out riding all de
time ma The horse car, una a patent
tied back cardinal striped s'ocklngs'
Now your vie must go work III ue
shtore und cut heeis'eaks una MAKE
sanerkrau' or else We ul''oe mol equa''
! " any more do' pfohts'
/ VEIL Brown goes nome unu ne
tells h's vlie about sot Den sne
comes pooty quick mt Drown arouhu'
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10


Got any matches 2" asks Smith
kins, stepping into the grocer's.
"Well, | hain't got anyihin' else,
replied the man Of pints and pounds.
"You may put me up a half dozen
pounds, said Smithkins. "l'll be af-
ter them presently By.and'by he
returns. Handing the matches, the
grocer said swtetly, "ls that all, to.
day, sirl' "Wby, no. Smilhkins
returned. 81 did want ten pounds of
sugar and barrel OF -four and tub
of butter and a few other thing; but
when | asked you il you had any
matches, you said you hadn't any
thing else, so | bought the other
things over at Herrington's across the
way" You can fancy the feelings of
the grocer, but they cannot be de
scribed, lie is very particular how
he answers customers ever since that
day.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

A young man saw an advertisement
OF the Miniature Piano Company"
where for one dollar he could have a
new instrument ON which any one
could play at sight. lie sent his little
dollar, and received not piano, but
instructions how 10 make one Take
-four barrel-any old one will do
aud put as many cats into it us II will
hold. Leave slit in the side the
whole length of the barrel. A sharp
pointed stick moved along in this slit
is sure to produce all tones desired,
since NEST of the cats will answer to
the prodding. A child can play ii. -
lie sued to recover his money, because
the music was not popular"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10
uhaf % Democratic Congress Has
DOne.

The lobby has been almost entirely
extinguished. No bounties, no subsi.
dies, no land grants, no huge doubt
ful claims of any description have
been passed, aud the executive de-
partments have been kept by Con.
gressional vigilance aud economy in
tolerably decent order. This is a rec.
ord of which the party has reason to
be proud. 1t presents an honorable
contrast to that Of the Republicans,
when Mr.. Blaine was Speaker and
Mr.. Garfield, as Chairman of Appro-
priations, "held the purse strings OF
the nation when the railroad lobbie,
took possession of the very floor; when
Credit Mobilier and DE Golyer scan
dals came thick and fast; when mem
beers boarded their Immigrant bonds
when carpet baggers were formed in
squads for sale; and when every days
report was loaded with accounts o.
Congressional corruption, until the
people rose and swept out the who'll
concern in a storm OF wrath and dis
gust.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

A Michigan boy ate bar ofsoap ON
a wager and then drank lot of soda to
take the taste out OF his mouth, and the
way he spouted suds and soap bubbles
for the next half.hour baffiled the skill
of fourteen doctors, who madly per
formed about him, not having been in
formed of the cause of the lads suffer
ing. They are all at loggerheads now
about what to call the case Boston
Post.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

Baltimore. Md. have used Dr..
Bulls Cough Syrup personally and in
my family for two or three years, and
am prepared to say that there is moth
ing to compare 10 it as remedy for
Coughs, Colds. etc, james Corrie,
Dentist
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

See if you can say this rapidly
and correctly Theophilus Thistle, the
thistle sitter, sifted a sieve full ofsiited
tbistles. Well, if TheOphilus Thistle,
the thistle sitter, sifted sieve full of
sifled thistles, pray where is the sieve
full of sifled thistles that Theophilus
Thistle, the thistle sitter, sifled.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

1t was in the theatre. The two gen.
tlemen were from the country. Ailer
the curtain fell on the first act one of
them, who had been reading the pro-
gramme, said, in an excited manner:
ats an Internal swindle just got up to
take in strangers !" "What's a swim =
dle?T "Here it says the next act is
two years later. | wonder if they
think we are going to stay in Calves
ton at two dollars per day just to SEE
this thing out ?"-TGalveston News.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

What madness is it for man TO
starve himself to enrich his heir, aud
thus turn friend into AN enemy J
For his joy at your death will he pro
portioned to what you leave him.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

"My son, said an American faith
err, chow could you marry an Irish
girl ?" "Why, father" said the son,
"Pm not able to keep two women, an1
if | married Yankee girl I'd had to
hire an Irish girl to take care of her.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

An elegantly dressed male drove up
to toll gate on the Paris pike recent.
~ aud pitched a dollar to the seven
teen.y ear.old girl who collects toll.
The dollar fell into the mud, and the
girl had To pick her way out 10 get il.
She went iato the house. returned with
the change in five aud ten cent pieces,
aud saying, Heres your change"
pitched il 10 the young man.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

What do you mean playing mar
bles on Sunday. you little rascal ?'ex-
claimed a father. "Oh, this is a sa-
cred game of marbles, pa" That boy
remembered that the cold rascal at
tended a sacred concert" the previ-
Gus Sunday, whereat the "Fatinitza
March" and the Turkish Patrol
were the sacredest hymns.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

1t was in an Ellis-street restaurant
the other night waiter was apollo
giving for the dilapidated state of his
napkin. "Don't mention it, respon-
ded the customer sadly. 81 don't
mind the holes in the least. That
part OF your napkin is always sure to
be clean" And for the next ten min
utes nothing could be heard but the
butter combing its hair out in the
pantry.-1San Francisco Post.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

well, I'm getting about tired of
this ere life. said an ultra specimen
OF the genus tramp. "Goiug half
starved one day, and drenched to the
skin another sleeping one night in a
barn, the next night under hedge,
and the third in the lock up; this lite
isn't what it used to be, Tell yer what
It's, boys, if it 'twasn't for the looks OF
the thing, I'd 90 10 work"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

From time immemOrial the fisher
men of the Mediterranean shores, Of
Cornwall, and of the Scandinavian
coasts, have been directed in their
work by lookOuts stationed upon cliffs
to discover the approach of schools.
OF late the enterprising fishermen of
Norway have called to their aid the elec
trio telegraph, laying down more than
twelve hundred miles of wire, to
bring the fishers into instant commun-
ication with the watchers, and to no.
tify the fish merchants where TO 60 for
supplies. The Norwegian coast gives
employment to 10000 fishermen dur
ing large part of the year.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

Why Is Ir?-They can instantan-
eously photograph an express train
going at sixty miles an hour so that
it looks. smoke and all, "a il it wers
taken at stand still And yet they
can't, or won't, photograph a man sit
ting in a chair without screwing his
head round in q wise like a movable
doll, aud keeping him looking at a
smudge on the wall TILL his lip drops
and his eyes water, and the pleasant
little speech he meant to think about,
Just TO hold the expression, goes
meandering through his head like the
ghost Of homeless echo. Every
photographers studio must he at
least twenty years behind time. Why
is it?-[ Boston Post.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

A PRACTITIONER Of TWENTY YEARS,
With a lawful Denial qualification hoi4s ." nsill
a nle.al practice AZ Nlu attend each OouutY
Court al Lancaster, and remain one week' hsist-
enoe Lebanon, Columbia, husionfilei dc, isn-
M Rootsi IN viii Craigs cottage third residence
above ~. Asaph Hotel, Main 81, stanford ky
SEQ sign.l tuo-lf
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

Science enumerales 5Ss species OF
organic forms in the air We breathe.
Just think of i'll Every time you
draw ia a breath a whole geological
garden slips down your windpipe.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-10

Custom Made Boots and Shoes from
the Best Factories in the West have
been received for the Fall Trade
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25

quite Esefal EHgiRe.-A young grad
uare in mechanical engineering of the
Polytechnic College, in Philapelphia,
has recently designed steam fire en-
gine, especially adapted to small towns,
where power can be profitably used for
driving grist mill, or saw and sash
mill. The machine is without orna-
ments; it has all the essentials of the
best steam fire engines, and it is so ar
ranged that when run into the engine
house it can be blocked up, the weight
taken of the springs, the pump discOn-
nected, and by band on the flow-heel
it can be made to run a set of stone, a
planer, or Osher mills, according to the
size of the engine. If an alarm OF fire
is sounded in the daytime, the belt can
be thrown off, the blocks knocked out
and pump connected in less time than
it takes TO tell it, and the engine, with
fire burning and stesm up, is rea ly
upon arriving at the scene of conflagra-
ton to 60 at once into service. If the
alarm be at night, the engine is ready to
run out, for the fires were "banked"
when the miller quit work, the belt
thrown off. the boiler filled, and every
cause of delay removed. The engine
being in daily use is always kept in
order and ready for service. The stor-
page of the mill while the engine is at
the fire can occasion but little unusual
inconvenience, for in such towns, in
case OF fire. everybody, even the miller,
leaves his work ald turns out TO assist
his unfortunate neighbors.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25

.SqIicyltc Aeid.-The beneficial effects
of saIicylic acid as medicine nave
been much discussed In the medical
Journals. Its antiseptic properties rem
der IL useful in eruptive diseases, as
diptheria, and it has the further advan-
tage, when properly made, OF being
colorless and tasteless. Ii kills bacteria
and other aIIimalcules, and DESTROYS
the unpleasant odor of wounds.
Professor Kobe, of Leipsic, in his
many experiments with the acid, found
that rain or river water containing
one-twenty-thousand OF grain
thereof would keep sweet in a warm
room for weeks two or more, while siull-
lar water not so treated soon became un-
pleasant to the taste. this was con-
firmed by an experiment on a large
scale; water charged with one gramnie
of salicylic acid to twenty litres was
placed on board ship for a years voy-
age, and was found sweet and tree
from organic matter when at the enu
the casks were opened. Milk treated
with the acld remains sweet more than
day longer than without it. Eggs after
a bath of acidfied water keep sweet Tor
months in a dry place, and meat sprln,
kled with the powdered acid and packed
i'm a Jar acquires no unpleaaant odor.
Wine may be kept from turning sour
by the use of the acid; brewers find it
useful in some of their processes, and
its property of preventing putrefactlon
is turned TO account in the making oil
glue and other manufactures.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25
.he Ladies' Fayorite.

Among the many thousands OF ladies
who have used DIR. Pierce's Favorite
prescription and pronounced it their
iavorite remedy, because so efficient in
the diseases and weaknesses peculiar TO
women, are many who are well and
1avorably known in the world of let
tiers, as well as artists, musicians, and
a whole host Of names from the bril-
liant ranks of wealth and fashion. 1t
Is pre-eminently the ladies Favorite
Prescription, its use, while being far
more safe and efficient, exempting
them from those painful, caustic opera
tons, and the wearing of those me-
chanical contrivances made like Peter
Pindar's razOr-seller's razors-to sell,
rather than to cure.
kILLMoRE, Ind, March goth, 1873.
DIR. X. V. PIERCE:
Dear Sir-Your Favorite Prescription
has restored me TO perfect health.
Yours truly, GRACE CHoATE.
422 Eutaw st. BALTIMORE, Nd,
June 10th, 1873.
DR. X. V. PIERCE, Buffalo, N. V:
Dear Sir-My wife was hopeless
invalid Tor nearly 20 years. Your Fa-
vorlte Prescription has cured her.
thankfully yours. r. L. MCCAY.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25

WE HAVE known persons to doctor
for years for Consumption, all TO no
effect. Though they had a cough, felt
pains in the Lungs, were depressed,
weak and many other symptoms tend
ing to that disease, yet there was no
structural unsoundness of the Lungs,
all these symptoms being caused by the
Liver being sluggish, and the stomach
weak. In ali such cases the diseased
conditions yield readily to Simmons
Liver Regulator, and the patient is in
variably brought back to health.
81 have been down ten years with
Liver Disease. l have had a severe
pain in my left side for three years,
with dry cough; this last Fall the cough
became severe, and coughed up half
gallon a day. The best doctors in
Atlanta and my settlement said it was
the last stage of Consumption. 1 was
weakened down so by New Years day
that had to take my bed. l sent and
got your medicine, (Slmmons' Liver
Regulatory, and have taken it regularly.
My cough is nearly gone: am able to
sit up half the day.
&c. NJ. DoDD. N. p, East Point. Ga"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25
HUMOROUS.

WHAT MAKES THE TOWER LEAN! ?
They were deeply interested in anciort
history and were discussing the pecuIl-
arities of the pi: :ture of prominent
places, when he suddenly exclaimed,
as he pointed to building which ap-
Deared rather weak in the knees:
"What funny-looking house. What
is it called" :"
She looked at him as if plying his
ignorance, and said:
"Why, that's the celebrated leaning
tower of Pisa"
He studied the picture intentiy fer
saveral moments, and then asked.
"What do you suppose made it lean!'
"Well," said she, 81 suppose the lack
of pie, sir, caused q great famine in the
land. and must necessarily have made
it lean."
And now, whenever he is called upon
to address Sunday school, he always
works this pungent point for the bene-
fit of the children.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25
Romance of Flowers.

Shortly after dayhreak one morning
in the season just passed. young wo-
man about nineteen years old entered
the market and passed along from stall
to stall, looking anxiously at the plants
before her. She was dressed in black
well-worn gown, and her face bore the
marks of long nights of sleeplessness.
Suddenly she stopped in front OF a
stand, on which stood a pure white
rose of the Nine. Rohan species. She
gazed at it for few seconds, and then
turning to the gOod-natured looking
dealer, she asked falteringly:
"What is the price of that rose, sir?'
.'Sixty-five cents, :" replied the dealer
1t was really worth more, but the re-
filming influence that never fails TO i'm
pregnate those whose lives are pa sc
among flowers, taught the man that his
prospective customer was very poor,
and anxious to purchase plant some
what beyond her means. But the poor
girl shook her head, and the tears start
Gu 10 HcI tgtS - sue eioNH hiohoN
away.
"Wait a minute" exclaimed the
dealer. "How much can you give for
it?''
''G have only twenty-five cents, said
the girl sorrow fully, ''and L wanted
that rose so much" She gazed at il
again and was about to continue heI
way when the dealer said:
"Wonldn't cheaper rose suit you
can give you plenty of handsome
roses for twenty-five cents EACH"
ooh, no." said the girl quickly. 81
wanted it for my sister. She is very
sick, and she cares Only for that kind
She says she wants to see one of them
in bloom once more before she--'
Here the poor girl broke down, and
for a moment hid her face in her hands
The dealers business principles were
not proof against such an appeal as this
Quickly he wrapped up the beautiful
white rose and handed it to her. She
laid her twenty-five cents VI on the
stand, thanked him, and went away
with the flower.
Three days afterward the girl was
again at the stall with the rose in her
hand. Her face was little paler and
more worn than before, but otherwise
there was no difference in her appear
ancc. In the old quiet subdued voice,
she said:
"would you change this rose for me,
sir? 1 want some cheap flowers to
strew on 4 coffin hd'
"why, what is the matter" asked
the dealer.
.My sister died, last night, sir" re-
piled the girl, her voice slightly tremb-
ling. ''She kept her eyes upon the rose
as long as she could see, and few
minutes before her death she asked me
to allow her TO kiss the blossom. That
was just before she kissed me the last
time"
The dealer had no loose flowers in
his own stall, but he knew where to
procure them, and going TO the other
end of the market he soon returned
with a basketful, which he handed to
the girl. As before, she thanked HIM
without any profusion of words and
hurried away.
Il never saw her again. said the
bluff dealer, and though / tried
hard, L could learn nothing of her
history. There is the rose she brough
back. / shall never sell it. for every
time look at it. think of that dying
girls kiss upon it last years blossom.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25

II is known that the Russian and
Prussian governments have adopted a
kind of biscuit for horses containing
much nutritive matter in small volume.
According to La Nature, the biscuits
are formed of the meal of oats, peas
and linseed. The various combina-
tions have been studied with care. and
mixture has been obtained so strong
that one kilogramme Of it is equival mt to
five kilogrammes of oats. 1t has been
found that horses bear fatigue better
and are more vigorous when fed with
these biscuit than when fed with oats.
The biscuits can be threaded togetl or
by means of an iron wire; thus horse
may carry his own food for four or five
days. During the late war with
Turkey, Russia used 10000, ,0OU of these
biscuits, and the results were so good
that the authorities have continued
their use In time of peace.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25

A MARYLAND farmer, the other day,
went to Baltimore and permitted him
self to indulge overmuch In the flow-
ing. As propitlatory offering 10 his
wife he bought four pounds of sausage
meat, and, as handy place to carry it.
he placed it in the crown of his hat.
On reaching his station and attemptin
to alight from the car, the overloaded
granger stumbled and went headfirs;
to the ground, bursting the high hat
and scattering the sausage meat. The
conductor Mortified the passengers by
singing out for "Help in Heavens
name--the man has dashed out mis-
brains!" And SD it seemed in the dark,
until light was brought and an inquest
held-the jury rendering verdict %
"whiskey and sausage"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25
Relp i'm Time.

Help, TO be effective. shoul1 be timely. Wher
the kidneys grow inactive, as they are ap. &c
do, it is wise to lend them and the blad lei
early and judcious medical aid in performing
their very important functions. The requi-
site energy is infused into their operations,
without danger Of exciting them and with
great benefit tothe general health by using
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters as diuretic.
Powerful stimulants are rather calculated to
injure than benefit the kidneys and bladder,
but this reliable promoter Of energy imparts
to them the requisite amount Of impetus and
no more. 1t should be remembered that kid
ney and bladder complaints. in an advanced
stage Of development very frequently baf1e
medical skill and prove fatal To guard
against disastrous consequences, repel their
advance By the means suggested
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-02-25

A PRINTER does not rush to the doc
tor every time he is ''out of Sorts" Nor
10 baker when he gets out of ''pi."
Nor 10 wood-pile when he wants a
'istick." Nor to the Bible when he
wants good"rule." Nor to gun-shop
when he wants a ''shOoting-stick." ="
Nor to a cabinet shop when he wants
furniture" Nor to bank when he
wants 'quoins." Nor to see his girl
when he wants to ''go to press" Nor
to a lawyer when he has ''dirty case. ="
Nor to butcher when he wants fiat. y
nor to au old cheese when he wants
"'live NATTER" Nor to a pump when he ii
thirsty and has five cents in his pocket
Nor TO butcher when he wants 8
"sheep's-foOt," nor to a livery stable
when ne wants "horse."