Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1880-09-23
HERE AND THEIR E.

ffeportef.
as your cough any easier o. said one
efpoor Hoods acquaintances, on calling
TO see how he was "It should be" said
the wit, from his pillow; "Pve been
practicing all night"
CUPID AND CASH:
They met, they smiled, they wept, they loved,
He called her Jane, she called him Thonls-
A richer man rode down the lane,
And Tom brought suit for breach Of promise.
-Steubenuuie Herald.
A Texas town had 90 dog tights in one
day, and when Beecher lectured there that
night and tried to make folks believe
they'd be happier in Paradise, all the
eloquence of his description failed to
arouse the least enthusiasm for that place.
The street-car mule from day TO day.
Plods on his sad reflective way;
Whene'er the driver plies his whip
The street-car mules hind legs do slip.
He kicks his way far through the car,
And the driver views many Ealing star.
o mule U whip o driver sad
The world looks on, the world is glad.
For drivers are cruel and whips they sting,
And SORROWS about u mules heels cling.
A critic says the best writing is to be
found In letters. He says Take the
letters of any one Of half dozen girls,
and you will find the English is ischarming."
Probably, but what sort of fellow could
ne be who would have letters from half
dozen girls?
And now the seaside hotel-keeper sits
down aud counts his gains and medita-
lively says to himself rs 2T5 per cent.
profit enough 10 warrant me in running
the old shebang another year, or shall we
have terrible conhagration in November
guess I'll conhag."
30, Mr. Lingerie, you've got on your
freckled stockings' exclaimed sweet
child, on the Ocean House piazza, where
that gentleman was the centre of an admir-
ing feminine group: ''and cousin Julia
says they Just match your complexion !"
SATURDAY Gazette.
MoDgsrY.
beautiful maid Of Nnnaskri
Was drifted to sea in n basket
Aud she sighed '''rhere's sloup,
1t would save me, | hope,
But oh Pm too modest to nsk IT,"
Andreps Queen.
Seaside Service-Oustomer (sarcasti-
cally). "There are only two hairs in this
mock turtle, waiter" Waiter: "Very
sorry, sir, but" Customer (more sar-
castically): can you could afford to give,
| suppose?' Waiter (equal to the emer-
gency): "Yes, sir-in mock ~
A lady at White Sulphur Springs is
compared to the mother of the "Gracchi, "
because when asked by reporter for a
description of her dress, she said =" |
don't wear very handsome costume, but
have the incest husband and two of the
sweetest children in the room"
An old wolf dressed Zip as mutton,
Aud slyly remarked, "Tm no glntlou;
But il | do not have sheep,
| Both to sell aud 10 keep,
MY head can he bought for button.
The farmrr, deceived by the gliHr,
| Bntchrrrd him as u lat prize,
Gave meAt-nlan Wink,
Aud what do you think"
They sold that old wolf for Young mutton.
Petroleum World.
A Galveston colored congregation,
whose pastor had bucked off the Sunday
school funds at monte, duly tried him and
the verdict was: "The Rev. Aminadat
Bledso am aquitte1 of the sin of gambling
pervided he pays de money back by mex
Sunday night. In the meantime de mem
bers oh his congregashun is warned agar
playin' keards with Brudder Bledso.
will the cerl, in the office
The best looking mali
Please forward this letter
As fast as he can
To
Miss Buah Cook,
A little way down.
In
Queenstown, Nd,
Ia where She can be- found.
She's as sweet Us peach,
Aud US fair as lily.
And as nice Ms can be found
In place that's so chilly.
The Jury had decided that the man who
had broken into Spilkin's house, and wa
caught in the act, was not guilty, the evi
dence being insufficient to convict an6
the prisoner was acquitted. 81 would like
to have the address of the innocent man,
said Spilkins. "What for 7" SWELL sinct
he was paying me friendly visit, want
to know where he lives so | can return tht
call"
September, dear auiumna month,
When leaves begin to sere
When fairs promote unusual sales
Of gingerbread and beer.
The merry oyster, i'll repOse,
You drag him from his bed;
RemOnstrance finds he all i'll van
AS captive he IL led.
You soak him oft in vinegar,
Or drown him in u stew
Or fry him down in cracker crumbs
And hide him from Yonr view.
They stopped and looked and comentet
upon his being drunk or asleep. Final.
one said 80 come along, can't you SEE
the fellows drunk ?" Up came the head o
the drowsy individual, and his eyes hal
uue osed, leered at the man who had jus
spoken as he answered with big oath
eyes, Timer drunk, but | cant get ovei
that. You're id (hic) fool, and you'll
never (hic) get over that"
In the Park (dramatis persona n court
ing couple). Il 90 happy, little cots,
wootsy? She-Oh, so happy, Is topsy
nopsy happy too? He-Oh, so happy
She What would topsy nopsy do if Their
were no ootsy wootsy in tho world Grui
voice of q man in the bushes Shops.
fopsy would be hueging some other cir
that's what rableau. -Ste"benoiiL
HeyaM.
Youth went forth TO scrrnadc
The ludy whom he loved the hest,
Aud passed beneath the mallsinu's shade
Where rrst his charmcr used to rest
He warbled till the morning hight
Game dancing DER the hilltOps' RIM
But no lair maiden blessed his SIGHT,
Aud all seemed dark aud drcar to him.
With heart aglOw and eyes aba2c,
lie drew much nearer than hctoic
When, 10 his horror and amaze.
lie saw $50 Let" upon the door
, -Hackensdck Repu6iican.
The Rev. Father Krude and Xoe Aller
r simultaneously disappeared from Brow
County, Wisconsin. He was a respecte
Roman Catholic pastor, and she a
, accomplished, lovable girl. They wer
!, traced TO Covington, Ky, where the
; were found keeping house in a prett
a little cottage. They had told III
9 neighbors that they were married, but I
= their friends from Wisconsin the pries
. declared that he had simply taken Mis
y Zoe away from home for religior
: instructions.
=. She took his arm, and as they walked
:, Adown the lighted street,
u Twas by the merest chance, of course,
n They CHANGED priest tomcet.
1. "Poor man." said she, "how poor he looks,
How sad, forlOrn and drear;
J. wish you'd help the Christian man
% To twenty dollars, DEAR
, lie took the hint, of course he did,
y Then something more was said,
10 And ere he left her twas agreed