The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-12-16
PITH AND POINT.

whose bite is venomous. LAND and
Water.
PITH AND POINT.
"A 1Awxza's brief is sometimes very
extended.
Evo1uuoN1srs may talk, but Adam
was the prime evil man.
A NEW play is called Yankee idyl-
but who ever saw o Yankee idle?
TIE man who makes light of every
thing is not necessarily very brilliant
himself.
Mrs. PARTNaToN said that q gentle.
man laughed 80 heartily that she feared
he would burst his jocular vein.
An Irishman, on seeing small coffin,
exclaimed, lis it possible that coffin
was intended for any living creature?
AN editor out West was in prison for
libeling Justice of the Peace, and when
he departed the jailer asked him to give
the prison puff:
WHEN Brutus and Cassius were boys
the girls used to say that Brute was
such nice fellow, but they preferred
Cash. The girls haven't changed one
bit.
A CHINANAN can cut more wood than
q white man, and do it with less labor,
but when it comes to fishing or whit
ting he is hundred years behind the
age.
A SYRACUSE dentist has large mirror
before his operating chair in order TINT
patients can see the expression of their
faces as the tooth begins to start at the
roots.
WHEN man comes out of q dentists
Office and says that he has just lost
tooth from forceps circumstances, the
joke may be poor enough, but it cannot
be called tooth in.
"CHmDREN over years pay half
fare. "Oh, you speak English, do
you? And what is your age, Missy ?"
"Vich age? Mamma says I have two
ages. Ven / am in ze railway I am 6
and 'alf, and ven I am at 'ome I am g."
Punch.
NEVER tell girl you love her
Till you think her pa ia willin';
Never tell . man he's honest
When you think he IL villain;
Never think you are 10 funny
That your Wit will live forever;
Never use that old expression,
A GALVESTON colored servant, on her
way home with o basket of pilfered GRO
ceries, meets friend. elbow is You
comm on wild dem white folksP' "fse
gwine to Leah 'em. Dey hasn't paid dar
groceryman in SIGH long time Use
ashamed to meet him on de street."
A MARsE1L1A1s made before Gascon
the familiar boast: "In the Rhone.
there is no room for water, the fish are
so thicki" "Ehi" said the Gascon.
mo water! That's no merit in river
/ Look at our Gironde, for example.
There's so much water there that there
are no fish-all drowned!"
TONIGHT, before you fall asleep,
Loof back and see Il be can find
Some good deed that he's done.
But, come to think, wen take it back:
We've drawn tho line too tight:
This little task, were almost sure,
Would keep some up all night
And part Of the next week.
WHEN woman has worked for two
hours to sweep room, and then, having
collected the dirt and lint and little
scraps of paper into the dustpan, goes
to the window, opens it and throws tln.
dirt from the pan just as lively little,
gust of wind comes along and sends it
back all over the room again, does she
get mad? Well. rather !-Bosto,a Post.
A GALVESTON parent is very much dis
couraged at the way his boys destroy
each others clothes. The other day he
saw that little Billy's shirt collar was
torn of, and he angrily asked how it
happened. "Johnny did it," was the
response. "Well, in tan Johnny's
hide, that's what I'll dol" "Well, dad,
I've paved the way for you. I cut the
whole ceiling out of his new pants. -
Galveston Neavs.
els YOUR programme full, Miss Beetle
crusher? ? asked a young man of Il
Western damsel who had just struggled
out Of the refreshment-room with disap-
pointment in her eye and an "order of
dances" in herhand. Programmed full ?"
said the daughter of the setting sun.
"Waal, guess not! hain't had moth
ing but piece of cake and III ice
cream, an that don't go far toward filling
my programme, I can tell you"
AN old East Indian Captain, of Sal III,
gave up seafaring, and was building i.
gorgeous mansion in which to cl,d his
days in peace. One morning, while
watching the carpenters, he noticed that
they let bits OF lath and the like drop
down between the partitions, and lie or
dered them to take all the loose rt,;.;'s
out. The workmen obeyed, grumllng
that "they didn't see what difference it
made" "All the difference in the
world, you ]ubbers !" retorted the irate
Captain. "Do you think 1 want TO Dc
annoyed whenever she rocks by The
rattle Of the rubbish in the partitions >"
Deer Stalking.