Litchfield enquirer., 1880-11-04
CLIPPINGS.

sometimes photographs of a mothers loving
but weighty' hand. @ ~
lsWhen it is written D. d. it stands for doc
tor Of divinity, but when it is writtend--d
il signifies something altogether different
A wag suggests that suitable opening for
many choirs would be-, ts.Oh, Lord have mercy
on usimiserable singers, 's'4
A New Yorker is named Stealing, and he
hates the name but he took the curse on it
for his daughter by making her Christian
name worth"
A California justice, in moment of anger,
said that the lawyers in case on trial before
him were no better than horse thieves. Then
he apologized and fined himself $40 for con-
,fempt1o court. 4 h Z III,
A telephone operator, when asked to say
grace at a dinner the other day, Mortified the
party, in fit of absent-minded ness, by bow
ing his head and shouting, 'tHello hellol"
Force of habit. --.+ 49,
Among the newest hats for ladies is one
called Sunrise So called probably, be-
cause a man has to get up before sunrise
every day for week to earn money enough
to pay for one. s e.,@ .
Punch gives the following as an example Of
self-sacrifce Boy Ito lady visitor)-''Teach-
er, there's gal over there winkin' at me r.,
Teacher-"Well, then, don't look at her. -
Boy-"But if don't look at her, she IL wink
at somebody else !"
That was a very. pointed and possibly a
very wholesome bit of sarcasm when gen.
tlemansturned on a coxcomb, who had been
making himself offensive, and said: ''Sir,
you ought to be the happiest man in the world;
you are in love with yourself, and you have
no rival"
The following advertisement appe ars in q
Dublin paper: ITO Landowners-A gentle
man who is practically acquainted with the
management of landed Estates who has re-
sided in Ireland and who has no objection to
being shot at, is prepared to undertake an
agency IN any part of Ireland. Highest ref
erences given" 81 3 >--s...-s
Hayear passes without the Stevens Battery
being sold it may be set down as poor year
for sales And each time it is sold it brings
aboat fifty thousand dollars less than it did at
the preceding sale. A few more sales and the
price will be low enough to come within reach
of the average EDITORS pocketbook. It would
be nice piece OF bric-a brack for his daughter
to decorate with bugs and dragons and
things.
An anecdote 10 told by Harper's Editors
Drawer of the late Father Taylor, of the Bos-
ton Searnen's Bethel. A prayer-meeting had
been prolonged enc evening beyond the usual
hour of closing, and he had been pretty well
warmed up. Just then few restless spirits
in the rear of the audience took occasion to
leave. The old man rose and swinging his
arm in his peculiar way, shouted out, That's
right, brethren; the tides rising the drift
wood is beginning to float !"
The baseball season has ended, and the
mellihuous mouthngs of the umpire, ashe
manfully argues with the second basenan,
are hushed The arnica market is dull and
the new wing for the hospital will not need to
be built until another season. The base rum
ner has "got UNDER for the last time 1--WE wish
some of them had) the home plate has got
'slide," fly" time has passed, and the only
batter in the land is in the griddle-cake PAN
The boys have earned this run.
'Bridget," said lady to her servant, "who
was that talking with you so late last night at
the gater -
''My Oldest brother, ma'am."
"What is his name ?"
tBarney Octoolan, maam."
"Indeed How comes it his name is not
the same as yours3"
"Troth, ma am, says the unfailing Bridget,
"hasn't he been married once?"
ers in Paris restaurants that, no matter what
you may ask for, even il it be fried piece of
the moon, they will invariably reply "Yes,"
and either bring it to you, or, ON returning,
assert with sorrow that unfortunately there is
no raoreleft. Merry, the well-known author,
tried this joke on once, and peremptorily or
dsred Of waiter sphinx a Ia Marsng0. II
am sorry TO say we have no more, monsieur"
replied the garcoaa. "What! No moresp sphinx ?"
- ST. .scL.
waiter lowered his voice, and murmured 10
confidential whisper: 1--WE have some more,
monsieur; but the truth is should not care to
serve them to you, as they are not quite fresh !"
They were sitting together in the horse car.
Il do hate people that are forever talking
about their neighbors," said the woman with
the peaked hat. $50 do l." conceded her
companion in the cashmere shawl. ''There's
Mis- Green" continued Peaked Hat, 'tcontin-
ually carryin' things back and forth, Think
Shed'd better look to home, Goodness knows
she and her husband live regular Cat and-dog
life," eyes, indeed" said Cashmere, land
her daughter Sarah isn't half cared for. I
was telln' Mis- Jones only yesterday that the
way Mis- Green neglected that girl was cry
in shame. Oh! by the way, did you hear
that story about Tilda Smith ~ mo what
is it ?" exclaimed Peaked Hat, turning half
around in her seat in her eagerness her eyes
sparkling in anticipation Of the coming treat.
But gentle reader, never mind what it was
Neither you nor care anything about it.
We hate tattling just as bad as Peaked Hat
and Cashmere did. sE s#@ 81
From the Danbury News.
''Cider for Sail'' is advertised in GAINESVILLE.
Made from wind falls, probably.
A Trumbull baby has been labeled James
Garfield Hawley Seymour name suggestive
of campaignful memories. "a ?
The trees are unusually bare OF leaves for
this time of the year. Will some old lunatic
say that this is a sign for an early and severe
winter2
A rat on Balmforth avenue entirely consum-
ed feather on young lady's bonnet. The
next morning he was found dead in the yard,
having been tickled to death by the feather.
At a recent wedding in Slawson the BRIDE .
father gave the young couple $500. A friend
spoke to him of the magnitude of the gift.
''You haven't got q manageable daughter.
and SO don't know" answered the father "but
think get of cheap"
: 'Danbury's grateful policeman was at break
fast on Sunday morning, wrestling with a
piece OF remarkably tough VEAL. His wife
said 10 him, 'You always say there's some
thing to be thankful for in everything.
guess you'd be puzzled to find anything to be
thankful for in that veal" ,--eesv,@
mot at all, he cheerfully responded, stop
ping to breathe-''I was just thinking how
grateful we should be that we met it when ii
was young"
A FATHER VINO MELTED.-The other eve