New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-12-08
He Couldn't Help It.

AhEnE WaS duoIucI CASE ycStcIuay Vi
. boy who couldn't help it. A promi-
nent and dignified citizen was looking
through the third story window of
block on Jefferson Avenue, which he
had thoughts of renting, when the idea
suddenly struck him to look into the al
ley in the rear. He raised the sash of a
window and peered out upon ash boxes,
coal-scuttles and barrels of straw with
out number, and was about to conclude
his observations when the sash came
down with thud and struck him be-
hind his shoulders. In his fright he fell
to his knees, and while the solid half of
his body was all right, the lighter was
80 + the window sill. In addition to
tho weight of the sash any movement of
th' body was accompanied by pain.
Tie sash could not be reached with his
hs ads freely enough to lift it, and it soon
occurred to the prominent citizen that
he ought to have help. He could not
expect it from behind, for he was alone
in the store, but as he looked down into
the alley a boy came stumping along to
find something worth lugg ing away.
"Hello! boy, hello!" called the citi-
zen.
Hello yourself!" replied the boy as
he looked up.
"Say, boy, come under the window
here; want to speak to yon.''
Not much, yer don't,' chuckled
the gamin. "You can't drop no coal
scuttles on my head.'
"But don't mean to-"
"Mebbe not, but you've got a bad
face on you for all that. When did you
get out of the jug?'
"Boy, l want your help.''
so does yer aunt! Don't get me to
stand in with no such duffer as you
are!"
II am caught in this window ana
want to get out"
$50 would 1! Been prospecting for
old junk, Ell! You'll get six months
If you'll come up stairs and help me
out I'll give you dollar.
"a dollar! You can't play no dollar
store on me, old man! If you make up
another face like that at me I'll hit you
in the eye with this old lemon. 1 don't
look starched up, but don't let any
man insult me all the same.''
"Don't you know who I amp softly
asked the citizen.
"Naw, 1 don't, but Ill bet the per-
leece do! You've got one of the hardest
mugs on you ever saw, and I've good
mine to give you one, just for luck!
Look out, now!'
He made as if he would throw, and.
the citizen lodged. This was such fun
for the boy that he kept it up for three
or four minutes, and the offer of 50 had
no effect on him. Then he gathered six
or eight old lemons and oranges togeth-
er and said:
~ believe you are the boss hyena who
knocked dad down at the caucus, and
I'm going to drive your nose back ex-
actly an inch!" -..
IF you throw at me III call the po-
ice!" exclaimed the citizen. .
"The sooner ye call the sooner yen
be jagged! Here's to hit you square on
your nOse!" ....- ,..-a -. il. d..
The opening of back door of store
and the appearance of a man discon-
certed the lads aim, and the lemon
struck the cilizen's hat instead of his
nose. His yells brought a climax, but
the air was full of tropical fruit even as
the boy busted down the alley and
turned a corner. ~.
The boy couldn't help acting that
way. He was born so. It wouldn't
have been a bit like boy to run up
stairs and release the man. He didn't
have fair show with his spoiled lemons,
but boys soon get over disappointments.
detroit Free Press. ~