The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-08-25
TEMpLAR LEMONADE.

proposed TO erect seats for $4,000 people
along the line of the parade. elaborate
calculations resulted in showing that to
charge so cents per seat would be ample
| to cover ell expenses and leave the Trien-
NAL Fund still little profit. Later on.
however. it was found that lumber had
taken an extraordinary skylght fight, and
couldn't be had under figures which would
be ruinous to the Committee unless they
to dollar,-which, ofcourse, being wise
men, they reluctantly but promptly did.
This unexpected advance in wood was
so demoTaiizing that a sub committee was
appointed to investigate and report upon
it, but their Efforts were fruitless, except
IN ascertaining that there was an immense
demand for ligneous material of all kinds.
and in many quarters of the city. This
was the sole explanation to be had,-the
whole thing was as mysterious as detec-
tive's clew,--and there was nothing. else to
do but 70 erect the seats and advance
rates of admission.
simultaneously came violent and alto
gether awful crash in lemons,-iust the
article above all others which the bucket
shops were bulling, in view of the fact
that $4,000 Templars were expected in
Chicago. whose only beverage was lemon
ade, and plenty of it, There is no reason
for it, yet the fact was there. wood up.
lemons down,-and even q cross eyed man
COULDN'T see through il.
AS time rolled on, and the Triennial
with it. and the seats had been built, and
sold. and knocked to pieces again, and the
lemons had been squeezsd,-e one of
them.-and the vast inundation of Chicago
had receded and the accruing profits been
bived comfortably away,-why, then it
was that the secret leaked out, and the
lumber mystery was mystery no longer.
The fact was simply this; Templar's
lemonade is peculiar. 1t is made after an
old cuneiform recipe found on a syenite
slab under Solomon's Temple by Wilkin-
son in lS42,-a slab which proves that Ma
sorry ante-dates Adam and Eve by
several centuries, by proving that the
of couree-a whacking long time before
the bids for the construction of Adam
were even advertised. After this recipe
is nov made all the lemonade used at
Triennisls. and so wisely it is adapted to
exigencies that even were the Triennials
after next to be given at the North Pole,
where lemons couldn't be had for love or
money, Templar lemonade could be had
In just as large quantities as would suit
the demand. Upon the slab in question
the recipe runs as follows ia the original
hieroglyphic.
"Rummansh-ugar: fischer Yk Obblah;
Kokt-Ayl; Ooisk- 7 strait; Ber-And 7 ms
Ody; Tub-Eer; Zvwerm-Ash; Ob-Ree-En
Set Tum>Thes-Ame; Same'f ME; Oh
Drye; Uppahg- In This latter word is
almost effaced, and has only been recently
deciphered by Prof. T.. r, Payne, of
Chicago. After this follows the curious
hieroglyphic given below, whose exact
significance Is not even now we'll defined:
"Lemn Adew-Itha- Silk KNIT
To those in the secret of manufacturing
the Templar beverage strictlyin accordance
with the above, il is known that, while the
proportion of lemon is very small, the
amount of timber treQuired is enormous;
and it was
THE TREMENDOUS RUSH
on the lumber yards for the necessary
material which in the end so disconnected
Past Assistant Third Secretary of the
Lower Subdivision of the Seat Committee,
and was the ultimate cause of the
sntrance-fee to the grand stands being
dollar.
The rumor of this awful secrets disclo-
sure coming to the ears of q Tribune
reporter yesterday. he resolved to seek an
explanation from the first Grand Master
he met. He had to go at least quarter
of block, however. before he met one. as
it was late and there being comparatively
few Grand Masters stirring.
''Sirr-r RI said the Grand Master. when
the reporter propouDded his couundrum;
lis my name Morgan?"
Then, calming down as he saw the re-
rnaflr- nj har-, hn oaf1 kak
only Royal Archers who had taken the
Thirty-6fth Degree in the Pea-Green
Lodge, and had thirteen titles, could
be .allowed to see the translation of
the recipe, and that the amount of
goat riding and gridiron skipping
necessary to take that degree was so
immense that but few able bodied Temp
lars could live through it. Consequently,
he said, those who are in possession of
the secret are very, very few. He then
hastily left, to swap cards with another
Grand Master coming across the street.
Having seen a number of Templars file
in the alley behind the Tribune building.
the reporter caught hold OF q peculiar
evanescent odor issuing therefrom. and
speedily pulled himself up TO small but
refreshing establishment too we'll known
to need description. The proprietor was
busy making change. and seven Templars
we're sampling superior article of parch-
ed coffee.
DO you sell Templar lemonade here2 p"
was asked,
oh, yesl What'll you Eave?' was the
brisk rejoinder.
''Temp lar lemonade"
Certainly. Whatll you bave?"
"Why-er-Templar lemonade"
''Of course-certainly" the pro
prietor smiled and slapped down a pre-
liminary glass of ice water,-'but what"ll
you have2"
'.Templar Lemonade"
"Of course-you said that before. but
what variety-nane the specles-bow'll
you have her?-nominate your pizen."
Isis it poison2" asked the reporter.
The proprietor leaned over the counter
Look ahere, young Dan-thipk I'm a |
id fool? Here's gin. whisky. rum,
brandy, absinthe till you can't rest
Wbst'Il you have?"
III wanted some Tenn" but before |
The bewildered Tribune man could get the |
rest out. the proprietor grinned. nodded |
ntelligently, bent over and whispered |
in his ear, and lol the whole
hing was settled 10 a minute. A mem Der
If the Thirty fifth degree in the Pea.
Green Lodge had been struck at last. The
mystery was solved.