The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-05-27
My WiIc's Bridal Tour.
DY NOSE SKINNER.

she was dreadful set about going of
for bridal tour. / told her she d
better wait ak months or q year, and
Id try TO go with her, but she said
she a rather 70 alono--when a won.
an was travelling, man was an out
and out hcmbng.
So | gave her seventy five cents,
and told her to 20 OF aud have Il
good time. never begrnige mon-
ey where my wife = happiness is con-
coruel, Ny Grst vito never could
complain of going anymore, for I'm
dreadful fierce TO 20 or on a good
time myself. anj alSays wac.
don pretend to say hoS many timos
| took hor out to see Tho engine
squirt, nad there was no end TO the
FREQ lectures | let her 20 to, The
noighbors ushi tD say
lit docs beat all how tho Skinnors
do 70 p
When Signor Bliia was in Skunk
vile, with his wonderful cinaries, he
gave my wife complimentary tick
ct. ! not only soll that tickc, for
wife, hut gave her half tho IN ,ney.
[ don't boast Of it, though | only
mention it to show how much /
thought Of my wifo's happiness.
| don't think any mdn ought to
yet married until ho can consider HIS
wilo's happiness only second to his
own. John Wiso, u neighbor OF
mino. dill thusly, and when l got
married concluded to do like Wiee.
Bat tho plan didut work in the
case of my aecond wife. No, /
should cay not | broachel tho
subject kindly
"Ma;illn, l said, 81 suppose you
are aware that | am now your lord
ani master
"Not mach you ain T..
"Mrs Skinner. | roplioi, "you
are faarfully dom )rllizod you noeI
ro-orgauiziug ut once. IOi arc
cranky,
Ani | branlishod my new sixty-
two cent umbrella wildly around hor
Sho took tho umbrella away from
mo md locked me up in the clothes
press.
nm qaic'; TO draw an inference,
and the difference ! drew was that
was not q success Gs ro-orgauIzor
of female women.
After thls ] changed my tactics.
| let her hayo her own way, aud the
plan worked to charm from tho
very first. It's tho best way Of man.
aging wiro tint know Of. OF
course this is between you and mo
50 when my wifa said shc was
bound to SO of on II bridal tour, |
cordially consented.
"Go, Matilda, said / "aud stay a.
long ~ yoI vtut TO- thon, il you
feel "a though you would like to
stay n !it.ls lougor, stay, my doar,
stay
Sha told mo to stop talking and
go up stairs AMI get hor rol ilannel
nisht-cap, aud that bag Of penny.
royal for hor Aunt Abigail.
My wife is smart woman She
was Il Baxter, and tho Baxter d are
very smart family indeed. Her
mother, who is going on eighty can
fry moro slapjGcks now than half
those primmol-up city girls who
rattle on the piauo or else walk the
streets with thoir furbelows aud fix
ings, pretending TO get mad ifa
youth looks ut EN- pretty hard, but
getting mad in earnest if you don t
notice them at all.
All glrls amt what they used to
DO when / was young, aud the fel.
lows arc worse still. When | want
counting, for instance L never
thought Of staying after teu O'Clock,
aud only went twice a week. Now
they 60 seven nights in tho week,
and cry because there ANT eight.
Then thoy write touching notes to
each other during the day
Dear George, do you love me as
much now as you did at quarters
past twelve last night 7 Say you do
dearest, aud it will give me courage
t. 90 down to dinner and tackle
them cold boans loft over from yes"
terday.
Wei, well, suppose they enjoy
themselves, aud it amt for US old
folks, whose hearts are little cal.
loused by loug wear, to interfere.
Let them get together and court if
they like it-aud | think they do. !
was forty seven when l courted my
present wife, but it seemed just AS
nice to sit on little eric ket at her
feet and let her smooth my hair as
1t did thirty years ago. As l said
before, my wife is a very smart wo-
man, but she conld not be anything
else and be Baxter She used to
give lectures on Womens Rights,
aud in one place whore sho lectured
a big college conferred the title of
l.. l.. d. on her. But she wouldn I
take it.
"No, gentlemen, she said, "give it
to the poor.
She was always Just so charitable
She gave my boys permission to go
bare foot all Winter, aud insisted
upon it so much in her kind way
that they couldn't refuse.
Ole fa;.l., 1Atao IN ,,au nhI1rap