Litchfield enquirer., 1880-06-24
that red crabs had tails either" Exit young

"William, do you know why you are like a donkey ?" '.Like donkey?" echoed William, opening his eyes wide, "No,s don't ss'Do you give it up?" ''I do." Because your better half is stubbornness itself" That's not bad Ha ha! I'll give that to my wife when get home." My dear," he asked, as he sat down to supper" do you know why am like a donkey?" He waited moment. expecting his wife to give it up. But she. didns. She looked at him somewhat comniseratinglya as she answered, T suppose because you were born SO" E A Last Sunday one of our Sunday school su- perlntendents, on his way-to~ church, met a boy with ishing-pole. ss ~Wbere are you going with that pole ?' asked the superintendent. He had not seen the boy since the last time he filled up at a
 ssPlease, sir live got a wicked father who sends me out to fish every Sunday morning, but as soon as get out of sight of tue house I am going toplay hockey and come to Sunday school.
 Hugh Miller Thompson, whom most readers will ellremember as the rector some years ago of an Episcopal church in this city, lives now in New Orleans. He has recently been holding 8 controversy in a newspaper with the pastor of Unitarian church, and in one Of his letters made the assertion that one-half of the congregation of the Rev. Phillips Brooks's church in Boston were formerly Unitarians a4f know" he said, ''from the best evidence, that the cultured Unltarians of New England is largely drifting into the Episcopa! Church. '" -Iai6une.
 There are funeral ministers, gentlemen who carry around with them an air of professional solemnity they carry it even in their hat bands and pocket handkerchiefs, and look contin- ually as if genteelly laid out in their collins. There was a minister of this sort called on to marry young couple He stretched out his hands and unconsciously began the burial ser vice. "Sir, "spoke up the young man, ''we came to be welded, not buried!" To which the gentleman of the cloth responded: 'lt wont be many years before you'll wish you had been buried"
 Lord Dudley was one of the most absent minded of men. One day; says Sydney Smith, he met me in the street and invited me to meet myself. "DiBe with me teddy; dine with me, and will get Sydney Smith to meet you" admitted the temptation held out to me, but said heswas engaged to meet me else where. Another time in meeting me he put
  mind walking with him a-little way; I'll walk with him as far as the end of the street." He very nearly overset my gravity once in the pulpit. He was sitting immediately under me, apparently very attentive, when suddenly he took up his stick, as if he had been in the House of Commons, and, tapping the ground with it, cried out in low, but very audible whisper, 'Hear, hear" ......- .......~
 "Ape you prepared for death ?" the clergy man asked, with a tremor of emotion in his voice as he took the sick woman's hand in his own. A shade of patient thought crossed the the invalid's face, and by and bye she said she didn't hardly believe she was there was lt- tie bedroom carpet to be taken up yet and the paint up stairs had hardly been touched, and she did want to put up new curtains in the dining room, but she thought if she didn't die until next Monday she would be about as near ready as woman with big family, and no girl ever expected to be. P. s.-That woln- an got we'll.
 The Rev Dr. Eddy told the following story with gusto at the recent pastoral reception to the Rev. Dr. Anderson at the South Baptist Church, South Boston:
 ''An old lady who was somewhat demented attended on his early pastorate. She was con- stantly railing about the deacons speaking so foolishly in the prayer-meeting. The doctor told her not to answer them SO spitefully, and, as she was somewhat of vocalist he advised her instead of scolding to sing something after one had made very foolish speech, and sug- gested the following stanza
 "Were half the breath so vainly spent
 To heaven in supplication sent" At the next meeting the doctor delivered an address and sat down with feeling of per- feet satisfaction, when instantly the voice of the old lady was heard sonorously rolling out the words of the above coupled.
 An old bachelor baronet, Sir w. D., whose name has been long associated with London society went up to Scotland in Au- gust last to shoot with the Earl of C.. On the second morning after his arrival, however, he announced his intention of returning to town.
 Good heavens !" said his host ''why, you promised me to stay month Have you had bad ?"
 b. ''No," stammered the cid buck, "it's not exactly that it's something that has happened here, only I'd rather not tell yeu." { "Pray tell me-" sad the Earl ''it will not distress me, whatever it is, one-half so much as your leaving in this way without my know. ing why you're going" -. --A
 Well, the fact is it's my Charles You know my Charles ?-the most invaluable of servants, and absolutely indispensable to me everywhere. 1 could not live day without him."
 Well, what of your Charles? What on earth can he have to do with you leaving us ?"
 "Why, this; you see, he complains-I'm very sorry, and know it's very wrong of me to have spoilt him SO: but the thing is done he complains that in your stewards room there is no champagne, and he cannot live without his champagne"
 Then let him die !" cried the Earl irascib- ly, "let him die an be --!"
 Just so," interrupted Sir William just Tn time, 'that is how it ought to be, of course I knew you wouldn't give way in the matter, upon principle; no more will Charles; 80 Pve got to go."
 FROM THE DANBURY NEWS as
 Gardeners down by the sound are beginning to lie about early potatoes.
 A Stratford man visiting Waterbury thought he heard mosquito, but on going farther dis. covered blaming mill. ~ t
 It was the editor of the Norwak Gazette who first nominated Garfield. We are glad this matter is so early settled.
 Two gypsy fortune tellers are located in Bridgeport, and the citizens of that city are buying up their future at twenty-five cents head. aa. IH
 At a social party in Westport, last week, young man was caught in lie. The young ladies seized him, dragged him to the sink, and thoroughly washed out his mouth In the present low state of the KohanZa reser voir welhope this custom will not reach Dan. bury. r1 .InEr ty.tsf
 MISCELLANEOUS. @@
 -- .i..iI An snti-duelling association has been form ed in South Carolina with ex-Judge Kershaw as President s-ft.
 The Roumanian Administration has begun setting ont forests of young trees in the De- hrunia Near Maiidi1, IA nn0 froaa hauo Al