, 1880-03-15
Wit and HumOr.

That's gnome matter.-A ghost
story Yawcob Strauss.
A boys whistle is often sucked tim
Cincinnati Commercial.
Held for further hearing. ear
trumpet New York News.
The Edison light will make courting
both difficult and dangerous.
Leap year doesn't amount to much
the men are SO coy Boston Post.
It certainly shows public spirit in
the man who contracts disease that is
spreading.
It's meet and drink that is depriving
many family of food Cincinnati
Commercial.
New and improved reading by the
Picayune "Uneasy lies the face that
wears frown."
Kite tails will feel lost when telegraph
wires have been put under ground.-
IN. O. Picayune.
Some students think it necessary to
be behind in their lessons in order to
pursue their studies.
The music of the bell is not in its
II Boston Transcript.
The cabalistic 81 " attached to po-
litical advertisements means third
term N. o. Picayune.
A man arrested for firing a barn,
whereby its contents were destroyed,
said he didn't know it was loaded
Boston Transcript.
A. ,ool ro1a~ ho o. 1oeo
for means to entertain his patrons, be-
ing always host in himself. Boston
Journal of Commerce.
Don't scold the boy; it's your fault.
You ought to have known better than
to bring that horn and drum into the
house. Boston Post.
The Philadelphia Item has depart
ment for lovers, and says: "A lady
thoroughly competent to decide love
questions is in charge"
One of the Utes is so noted for COW
citing everything he sees that he is
known at the agency as Handkerchief.
Il Syracuse Sunday Times.
A London bootmaker has this ex-
ira ordinary announcement in a win
dow Ladies will be sold as low
seventy-five cents per pair"
Jones says it isn't the color of her
hair that troubles him in choosing a
helpmate Tho color of her money
is what interests him vastly more.
Court of Archer Ito Mr.. Mackono-
chie); ':You are suspended, SIR" Mr..
Mackonochie Ito Court of Archesl
IS Voy, ba bop~aJ y, Euppu Fo1kc
The Rochester Democrat suggests
that young men who stand in front of
church doors waiting to see the con-
gregation come out might be used as
stands to hang wraps and umbrellas on.
Lady: "How much is this yard?"
Clerk: !" Fourteen and sixpence. It
is an elegant material-double; it can
be worn on both sides. If you tear
one side you've only to turn it on the
other"
THE LINE OF Athletic
"Don't you bicycle 2" Esthet: "Er-
no. 1t develops the calves of the legs
SO Makes 'em stick out, you know
So. coarse Positive deformity."-
Punch.
1t is said that Victor Hugo kisses the
ladies at meeting and parting. That's
all right at parting, but kissing them
at meeting is new dodge in the way
of getting up religious revival
Brooklyn Eagle.
Japan has iron coins worth about
one hundredth of cent. The handi-
ness of coin for dropping into the
collection basket will Immediately be
recognized by all church-goers.- Phil
adelphia Chronicle.
Said one of society's smart orna-
ments to lady friend: d" This is leap
year, and I suppose you will be asking
some one to marry you % "Oh, no."
was the reply, My finances won't
permit me to support husband"
A young lady in Chicago, when
asked by the officiating minister, "Will
you love. honor and obey this man as
your husband and be to him a true
wife?" said plainly, Yes, if he does
what he promised me. financially"
A little boy said he didn't want the
soft part of the biscuit. "Some little
boys" observed his mother, "would
be very thankful to get it." "Then
why don't you give it to them ?" an
swered the four-year-old hopeful
Boston Transcript.
"Carl Maria Won Weber !" said an
opera-goer the other night. II sup
pose he was christened after his moth
er. What curious thing - Not at
ALL" replied a friend; "surely he
could scarcely have been christened
before his mother. p Funny Folks.
Said an old farmer of the Jersey