Osage Valley banner., 1880-10-07
q weddin, there's crowds of folks goln'

desk, fun face Of all the folks, writin'
the hull mornin'--me o deacon, toop
..Ihen / called him a distracted old
critterp
However, ! got over that. aud he
seemed TO be goin' along better than
usual, when one day he was goin' TO
start for the city. He WAS all fixed up
land the Squire's personablo man
when hos got his best clothes on--he
was all fixed up, and had a new bite
cravat, and n white hat and kid gloves;
and | was kinder adorin' him. when it
struck me that the clock had stoppcd,
and that shouldn't know the time for
all day.
"Adoniram. says H. Adoniram, do
tell mo the time SOS TO set the clock.
The Squire ho was Just figuring up
to get expenses all right and didn't
want to stop, so he onfas!ened his watch
of the chain, and hauded II to me, and
| went into the kitchen 10 set tho clock.
l was quick as lightning, but bless
you! when | came back tho Squire was
gone The buggy was most out of
sight.
Z" What a provokin' thingr says /.
Gone 70 town without his watch. He
won't know about the trains or any,
thing And fretted about 1t all day.
Well | might; | didn't know what good
reason had TO do it.
The boy brought the buggy back,
and said the Squire hadn't missed his
watch, and that he d gone Off on the
right train. And the Squire he got to
New York all right, as | afterwards
knew, and about ten O'clock Cousin
Peter Jones stopped in, and said he
was going to New York, too.
. want 10 know, says l. where
will you dinep'
1.-THE Stuifem House, says he.
"'Oh,' says /. Wen, Adoniram.
hen dine there. too, aud you'll meet
him there Jest take his watch along,
won't you, and give il to him.,
$50 Peter says; AN right, pleased
TO do IT,, and put It loose In his left vest
pocket his own was in his right-and
of he went
"'Some chance of Adoniram' getting
home Tonight, now says !, and felt
more comfortable.
Little knew.
peter went down TO the city got
there at noon @nd made straight for the
hotel Ado ,am wasn't there yet, and
Peter Is always trying experiments with
himself; so he thought he'd go into tho
barber's shop and have his whiskers and
mnstache shaved of aud his hair shin
gled. And l must say for my poor hus-
band that shouldn't have known him
from a crow, His ears sot out so, and
he looked solantern- jawed. He d worn
the beard ten years, and always had his
hair long; and having fixed himself up
after that fashion, he went out again,
and there was the Squire coming up
the street.
"Now, Peter is always for having
his joke, and what should he do but
hide behind pile of shutters and bolt
out at the Squire. and grab him by the
collar. and say:
"'You're my prisonerr
"Now the Squire he's sort of seri-
Gus and he's sort of heavy, and he gave
a Jump. and there was a banana skin
on the sidewalk. and he slipped on it,
and down both of 'em went. A mercy
they didn't break their legs But up
they got, and the first thing Peter knew
the Squire was holding his collar and
yelling 'policer
- Squirrel Squirrel says Peter, don't
you know meP Don't you know meP'
No. don't wantto, says poor Adon-
iram
Then up comes the police.
- Arrest this man. says the Squire,
he collared me in the street, and /
reckon that he's got my watch, You
see it's gone. There's the chain hang
ing out OF my pocket with no watch
ont
"' I'm his cousin. ! come down last
train. He left his watch at home, says
Peter.
"And nobody paid any attention, and
they took him TO the station and
searched him, aud there was the
Squirrels watch in his pocket
"'I fetched it TO him, says poor
Cousin Peter. His wife asked me to.
I'm his own relation, Peter Klimer.
Look at me, Squire.
"'Peter Klimer's got long hair and
a most amazin' beard, you rascal says
the Squire, and when / left Spottsville
he was abed yet, his folks said
$50 they locked Peter up for high
way robbery, and detained the Squire
to appear against him; and about nine
that night, when the last train arriv and
went on and didn't fetch him, me and
Cousin Peters wife sot cryin' in our
kitchen, maxim up our minds we was
both widders.
"The only wonder is Peter isn't sery-
ing term in State prison now, for his
own wife couldn't swear to him when
she saw him until he showed her a da-
guerr' otype of both Of 'em, hooking
arms, that they had taken In their court
ing days for locket he wore; and it
took the whole family, and the dominic,
and Lawyer Cross. and lots of money,
A II. A 49,. n.A... 4