Morning journal and courier., 1880-01-09
SURPLUS.

When man falls down his temper generally gets up before he does.
 It's a wise bird that knows it's own feather when the milliner gets hold of It.
 "Nol Algernon, dear. I say that the boy shalt not be brought up on the bottle. Look at it's grandpa's nose. .'-Worcester Gazette.
 Guard-''Now, miss, jump in; train going on." Child-"But can't go before I have kissed mamma" Guard-''Jump in, miss I'll see to that."-Judy.
 little girl, on being told something which much amused her, exclaimed emphatically, ssI shall remember that the whole of my life, and when I forget it I will write it down"
 The fashion of putting 65O buttons down the back of a dress has disappeared, but they now use 1,800 hooks and eyes on the front, and man can't lay up a dollar to save his ife.-Detroit Free Press.
 An old lady wearing pair of green gog- gles stepped on the Sacramento train at South Vallejo and knocked at the car door, and actually waited till it was opened on the inside by passenger. For consummate pc likeness this has no parallel. Chroni- cle.
 1T ordered & dozen oysters" said the blond young man with the helmet hat, s'and here are only eleven. Will you kindly eIucidate?" q will," replied the obliging restaurateur; !; ssthere is certain superstitution prevalent in good society against thirteen at table; and so-you see-eh ?"-Puck.
 An Illustration of the precociousness of the rising generation was made by little five years old damsel at one of the fashionable churches in this city Sunday morning. About the middle of the sermon this little one took up.a a prayer book and handed it to an elegant young man who sat in the pew in front, re- marking as she leaned over: "The man in the nightgown says for you to be good and read the book. Troy Times.
 It was at the postofice in this village. The demoiselle was buxom, bashful aged eighteen, and hailed from Berrytown. She wanted 8 dollars worth of stamps. ''One dollars worth, repeated the smiling assistant; ''of what denomination p The damsel showed signs of embarrassment, and hesitated to re- ply. She twirled her shawl fringe nervous ly, cast her eyes about to see if any one was near, moved little closer to the window, and finally asked in a timorous voice, ssDo you hef to write it down?" 'By no means, " an swered the courteous assistant ''that is not necessary but I presume you have some preference as to the denomination" 'Ah- well-yes," replied the stranger, her face turning scarlet, q hev some. I generally go fellow Pm buying the stamps for he's Uni versa1 Orthodox. ."-Ithaca Journal. Some time ago one of Arkansas most widely known statesmen, who is now dead, was passing along street in Little Rock, when an old colored man, who had once be- longed to him, approached, took of his hat and passed hand over his white wool, as he asked
 'tMarster, gin de ole man fifty cent" 'sDan, you are robber." 'tHow ?" asked the astonished darkey opening his eyes, around which rough shod age had walked.
 Didn't you see me put my hand into my pocket?"
 ''Yas, sah."
 "Well, you old rascal, you rob me of the pleasure of giving you money without being asked"
 The old man received dollar. Rowing al most to the ground, while tears came out and | coursed through the age prints around his eyes, he replied
 ssMarster, wid sich heart as you hab, and wid Abraham and Isaac and dc Lord on your side, don't see what can keep you out oi hnahar D