The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1880-10-29
Tho Aristocratic Goose and Her Clos.
nngs-A Modern Fable.

Tho AristOcratic Goose and Her 6os.
lngs-A Modern Fable.
One day when summer had begun
her business of blistering the ears of
small boys. and helping the ice men to
grow rich and high-nosed, an old goose
suspended her frog-hunting operations
in the pond and called her three dear
goslings about her for family chat.
My dear, dear daughters" she be-
gan, as she put up one foot to see if her
beau-catchers were properly curled,
IL am grieved that we are compelled
to reside in such a neighborhood as
this. Since your father died and got
his life insurance, have found no one
here good enough for me to associate
with. You, too, have had a hard time.
The young ganders around here are
mud-puddle set, and the old widowers
would have to be parboiled a whole
week before wolf could chew them.
We must continue to reside here for q
time, but that is no reason why any of
you should remain SINGLE"
The goslings blushed and hid their
heads. as proper young goslings should,
and the mother arched her neck and
continued:
"Of course, want you all to marry
rich young ganders and put on the style
that becomes the daughters of goose
like me. It is true that your father was
brought up with lame dog, and that I
was glad enough to get mud hole to
swim in, but things have changed. IT
l don't set the fashions for this locality
1 at least lead the styles, and no other
goose dares quack her mouth until I
give the signal"
Here she plumed her feathers and
gave hiss which was heard clean over
to the barnyard, and the delighted Cos
lings swan around her and applauded.
Therefore, my dear goslings, have
planned q trip for US all. As rich gam
ders do not seek US out, we will seek
for them. While 1 am none too old to
marry again. being far from an old
goose, shall not allow the thought to
enter my head, but shall devote all my
time to securing suitable mates for you.
Arabella, you must pencil your eye
brows. and wear a sad. far-away look
and quote poetry. Viola, you must be
gushing and frank, and talk about our
bonds and diamonds and servants.
Eleanor, you must seem innocent and
confiding, and if you can be found
weeping now and then, it will surely
lead to a proposal Now, then, to get
ready"
A few days later the quartet ap-
peared at frog-pond much frequented
by fashionable fowls and animals, and
they had no sooner struck the water
than they created swell.
The best places were everywhere re-
served for them, and such other geese
as they could not swim over they stared
out of countenance and passed around.
Arabella saddened, Viola gushed, and
Eleanor wept, and three sleek-looking
Foxes, wearing mutton-chop whiskers
and speaking with a lisp. were caught
in the traps. 1t was happy idea to
have three weddings at once and be in
a hurry about it before the Foxes could
get away, and the plan was duly car
ried out.
The honeymoon had only begun when
one Fox was arrested for having too
many gosling wives. A second turned
out to be a buzzard in disguise, and he
stole old Mother Goose's diamonds and
lit out, while the third got drunk and
was smothered in the mud. When the
down-hearted and chagrined quartet
had waddled back to their own frog
pond, feet sore and feathers missing,
and ashamed to look old friends in the
face. a drake walked down to the bank
and said: "While I would not utter
one quack to add to your over-wrought
feelings, let me in all kindness gently
remark that the difference between
marrying a home gander or a foreign
fox is seldom seen by goose until she
has been baked and eaten. "-Detro1
Free Press.