davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18
he Laughs Best Who Laughs Last.

/ As belated Clieagoan was steer.
ing home at an early hour of the
morning, he passed the house of a
well known physician. The vesti-
bule of this residence was opened,
anl on its side the dim rays OF the
moon struggling through the gloom
disclosed the mouth of an acoustic
tube, underneath which was the in.
seription, "Whistls tor DIR. Potts"
Not wishing to be disobhging
ABOUT so small matter, the man
stumbled up the steps, aud. steady
| ing himself against the wall, blew
into the pipe With all the strength OF
his lungs.
The physician, who was awakened
by the resultant shriIl whistle near
his head, arose, and after wondering
at the singular odor of whisky ia the
room, CROPPED his way TO the tube
and shouted, "Well ?"
"Glad to know you are WE'LL was
the reply, "but, being doctor,
spose you can keep we'll at cost
price, can't you p
What do you want ?" said the
DR.. Of pills, not caring to joke in the
airy nothiIgness Of his night gown.
Well" said the party at the other
end of the tube, after few minutes
meditation. "Oh, by the way, are
you old or young Potts 2"
i am Doctor Potts-there Is no
young Potts"
'Not dead, I hope p
"There never was any have 40
son"
"Then you are YOUNG Potts, aud
old Potts, too? Dear, dear, how sin
gnlar"
"What do you want ?" snapped
tho doctor, who was beginning to
feel as though bis legs were pair of
elongated icicles
"You know old Mrs. Peavine, who
lives in the next block ?"
Yes, is she sick ? what's the
matter p
do yoa know her nephew, too
Bill Briggs p
Eyes, well p
"Wel, he went up to Bridgeport
shooting this morning, and"
Aud he bad 81 accident Hola
~ a minute. I'll be right down.
No, he's all right, but he got
sixty.two dusk, eighteen of 'em .nal
lards. ! thought you might like to
hear tn
And the Joker hung on TO the nozzle
and laughed like a iyena digging up
a fat missionary.
81 say" came down from the ex-
aspegatod NJ. D., "that's a Jolly Joke,
my friend. Won't you take some
thing p
"Whaty" said the surprised hu.
morist, pausing for breath
"Why,take something. Take this. ="
Aud before the Disguised funny
men could withdraw his mouth a
hastily compounded mixture of ink,
ipeoac and asafelida squirted from
the pipe and deluged him from head
70 foot, aboat pint monopo.ized his
shirt front and collar.
And while he danced franticaliy
around, sponging himself off with his
handkerchief and swearing Ike pi
rate in the last act. he could hear 40
angel voice from aooYe sweetly mar
mur:
"Have some laore ? No? Well,
goodnight. Come again soon, you
funny dog, you. By-by."
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18
Tho Air Line to Europe.

Mr. S. G or CORY of this city has
jast completed a tall working mod
el OF his last ingonlion. [. Is an air
sbiq, and has occupied me entire
timo Of tho Inventor for many
months Tho vessel Is sharp az both
bow and stern tho better TO over
come the resistance Of the atmos,
phore. 81 either en- alo placed
driving wheels and ruideIs The
latter are controlled BY ono wheel
situated amidships TIE cylinders,
which contain 10000 cubic feet Of
pure hydrogen each, are eonssrac.ed
Of four thicknesses Of silk, the ends
being tipped with brass, and the
whole dashed to the gunwale by
cord. At either end arc placed ole.
vators or depfessors, controlled ~
on the principl8 Of an Archimedian
screw. Ihe sleepirg roofas, dining
rooms ard cargo ere all provided
for in the bold Of the vesael. Mr.
Gregory says the cylinders will aus
tain a weight Of 10000 pounds, and
that tie speed will DC ove= 30 miles
en- h0ar. A "trip 20 Europe can b.
made u four days. The ruddeTo ara
Ia Tue with The kesl, aud serve 10
turn The boat rs required. II y 10
teaded TO sail The 5oatat an altitude
of 1000 feet. La cas8 OF q storm the
elevators Can be put in motion ard
the chip raised above tha line Of the
storm. II is proposed 10 bald On
exhibition ship, sitter which mr..
Gregory will 'flg" r. Europe, start
iag IN the month OF July. Tue me
chanical wonder n<a been e25tially
examined by soieatiats and eagi
neoe@, VITO prea )aaoait practice 10
The inertia Of lhs ia2eution are
safety combined with s0esd.-At
bang Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18
WHOLE NO. 1927.

has smiled on him. Whether or no
he is happy, | cannot tell. Whether,
indeed, he loved me best and mar
ried Miss Leyper for her money, or
loved her truly, only turning to me
as brighter fancy, | do not know, |
am happy without him.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18

4 YoaSG apprentice to tie shoe
making business asked his master
what aasger he should mako to the
often repeated qnestian, "Does your
master warrant his shoes !? "Ans.
weF, Thomas," said the master, chat
l warrant them to prove good, and ii
they don's I'll make them good for
nath;ng.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18

| al now past sixty years old, and
every now and then / meet a reflex
Who knu me forty.fige years ago, and
remembers some deglitry vas gull
y Nv then. Amt It strange how te.
nasLus The memory IL Nv these things
and how veal, It IL nv everything
good a fellow .aay lave acksidental-
h done ?--Josh BILLINGS
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18
Knew How it Was Himself.

among several unpublished anee
dotes Of The Emperor Nicholas, re-
lated b5 q Russian contemporary, Is
the following One day the Emper
Or, who was ore Of The s.rictest aul
most infexible Of 1iscip linaTians met .
in 3 street in ST. Petersburg, a dfnu
ken Dragon, who was riding 10 3
drosehky. II . great rage, the CIR
stopped the eroschkv, and sngrily
asEed The solder what he was doing
The imminence Of his danger partial
~ sobered the latter lie rose in his
carriage, drew bis sword, and salus-
ing Gar, said : Il an taking a drum
ken soldier to the gard Dom, your
Majesty" 'Tbe Emperor Nicholas
smiled, gave tiie soilsar a five roable
piece, anti tosl .sia cosebmaa - dTsYa
uim, acs 70 the gaardro3m, but bone.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18

A RAILWAY track has been laid on
the ice across the St Lawrence river
at Montreal in order 10 connect the
city with the lines Of the United
States, and save the tolls charged
over The Victoria bridge. The pres.
ent season has been very bad one
FOR ice bridges in most parts of the
country, bat Montreal is never
troubled by Summer weather in mid.
winter
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18

I'ng ludia8s with Oaray at six
square meals a day, frs; exiting all
the meat, chen all she bread, then all
the butter, aud SO Ga down until 8
cmocs to horse radish, where they
stop.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18

'DscToR, will you please examine
ng tongue ani Tell in8 @aas Il
neeas.' asked ! womlu Of her ply
sieiaa (. needs rest, madam.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18

Annua Advertisements payable quarterly; same
reset quarterly without extra charge.
Advertisements set to double Column25 per cent
sxtra.
Bus nesseards 5 lines or less, IS per snnumi each
ira'irebl.
Estrav Notices, ifons animal be described, ~
i0r weeks; each additional animal described In
same notice so cents.
speoiai notices and business not.eesi in news type
10 cents per line first insertion: cents per ms
each subsequent insertion. ..
Advance pay required for transient advertise
,,snfs Com nfssioners' Notices Attachment Notices
and Estrsy Notices (of animals taken upl.
All kinds of Job Printing promptly ana neatly
executed. Terms Cash on delivery ofwork.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18
Hotels.
DHELPS HOUSE.
Lsbcsster. WtscOnsiR,
NTON SMITH. PrODriet

fiENrRAL H0UsB-CAssvILLE, The under
Osigned, having thoroughly overhsuled and re-
furnished the Central Hotel at Cassvle 10 prepared
to accommodate the travelling public and solicits his
share otthe patronage. Good stabiing, and com.
mensurate 10 the times.
d. I, Landlord speaks both the Ana srican and
srmau l. nguage. FRANK p. MINK,
Dated Nov. IL, 1878. S57ni3ly Proprietor.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18
AGRICULTURAL MACHINERY,

Such as Reapers, Mowers. Threshcrs, Plews, Guilt
of the popular kinds for sale easy terms
My 'sPiatf0rm" is, Good Materials, Good Work.
ients X tb. platform suits yon or If you Sant
Platform Wagon, call or [v36nl5tf.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18

,tHe cASsvILLE HOTEL. The undersigned has
. atted mp snd furnished in good style the House
tateit occupieity @. Forbes, in Cassville, where
re viii be happy to accommodate the Travelling Pub
tic. Charges reasonable Good stabling attached to
heprenises. WARD T. RICE
Dated Oct 20 1878. 36-2a
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-03-18
Lam CASTER HOUSE.
Termsf 90 per dag.
LOUIS LIsHERNEss, Proprietor.

0ENNTsoN HOUsE, WV FORBES PRoPRIE.
y tor ,OassvEle, wis. The house has bsenl ateiy
reatted sui refurnished throughout, and pains
VIII be spared to Accommodate guests. Good
tHbiing attached.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

Yesterday afternoon the elected repre-
senta,ives Of the people went in TO the
State House and organized legal legi-Ia-
tire. with full quorum in both branches
The full time had come for this step, and
1t ia taken. greatly to the joy Of long suf-
fering and much outraged People. There
has been no more satisfactory news 10 the
republicans Of this vicinity since the close
Of the war, than that which flew through
the city last evening announcing that
the rightfully elected representatives and
senators were organizing. No steps back
ward will be taken. The crowded state
Of our columns will not alew further com
ment, but the reports elsewhere will speak
for themselves.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13
In Convention OF Represe ntatiyes.Elect.
AUGUsTA, Jan. l2, 1880

AUGUsTA, Jan. IL, 1880.
Representatives-elect to the 59th Lcpisla-
ture assembled in their hall at six O'Clock p.
NJ. and we're called to order by Mr. HALE of
Ellsworth
Prayer by Rev. Mr.. CRANE, meMber-elect
from Winthrop
On motion of Mr.. RowEIL of Hallovel
Mr.. WENTWORTH of kittery was chosen tenn
porary chairman, who, on assuming the
duties of the chair, said: 81 thank YOU for
the honor conferred in selecting me as YOUR
chairman of this meeting, and will endeavor
te serve you impartially. Applause
On motion Of Mr.. HALE of Ellsworth.
ORANANpAL SMITH, Clerk Of the House for
1873, was chosen temporary Clerk.
MIR. SMITH assumed the duties of CIerk
and read the follow ing:
STATE OF MAINE.
The following roll contains the names and
residences of the persons who appear to be
elected by plurality Of all the votes re-
turned according to Law. as representative.
to the 59th Legislature Of the State of Maine
Omitted for want of space
Eighty-fve members-elect responded IN
the names. and quorum was found I, he
present.
Inc THAR then announced the attendance
OF W m. MIR. Stratton. Esq. clerk Of courts
for the county of Kennebec and de,iimus ms
tice, who administered to the members.
elect Who answered to their names the
oaths necessary to qualify them to enter upon
the discharge of their official duties.
1t vas announced by the chair that eighty
fve had taken and subscribed the oath.
On motion Of Mr.. HUTCHINSON. the chair
appointed Messrs. Hutchinson of Ievis,on
Mason of Limerick. Rovell Of HallowelI and
Hatch of Bangor TO receive sort and connt
votes for Speaker.
=, Having attended to the duty assigned it.
Mt; wh, hutchinson from the committee reported: /:
"n''e "umoeI OF votes, 50
George r. Weeks had 80
And George f. Weeks was declared duIx
elected Speaker Of the House. for the curren,
political year. Applause
MT Weeks vas conducted to the chair nv
Mr foung of Brunswick and addressed tho
House A. follows: WIN
Genfemen Of the House Of Representatives
Please accept my profound thanks for the
distinguished honor conferred upon me- In
enter'ng upon the duties of this important ONCE
appreciate fully the unusual respopsibilifv
placed upon me under the extraordinary cir,
eumstances. Ishall, however, With vour Aid
which shall confidently expect. esdeavor to
perform my duty faithfully and impartiallv
toward ALL
am nov ready to proceed vith the bu.;-
ness OF the House. Applause.1
On motion OF Mr. BRApsrREEr of Bride.
ton. that gentleman, with Messrs. Goss of
Auburn. Porter of Dixmont, Steward of
Skow hegan. Getchell Of Weld. Eaton Of vii.
ton ard Rowell Of Hallovell we're appointed
. committee to receive, sort and count vote,
for Clerk.
Having attended to the duties assigned Il
the committee reported:
Whole number Of votes m
Oramandal Smith m
And Oramandal Smith vas declared div
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13
JUST YOUR TYNE

to make money safely. easily and rapidly. is
R0g. while the stock market offers so MANY
splendid opportunities. The combination
system has had unprecedented success. and
brings good fortune to thousands of share
holders in this and other countries Invest
ments of from S25 to sic. 900 are thu. consol-
ida;ed into one vast capital. and operated hv
the best skill and experience. result in heavy
profits. which are divided among sharehold-
ers every month. \ New Orleans cotton
dealer made s21 $40. Is in two months. A
Baltimore merchant received an aggregate
profit of s9.64 81 from three combinations.
\ San Francisco mining agent made s22. 4ss.-
10 from four combinations. his first invest
ment having been Sloo. Others have been
equally fortunate. Eve:y day there are new
AMI grand opportunities. New explanatory
circular, with "unerring rules for success. =
mailed by Messrs. Lawrence 4 Co. Bankers.
81 Exchange Place. New York City.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

AseEaA1 PILES, Symptoms and Care
The symptoms are moistare, like peIsp,!r
alton, intense itching, increased by scratcs
ing, very distressing, particularly u ~.
- pin-wOrms were crawling in and abo"
the rectum, the private parts are sometime
affected; if allowed to continue, very serioss
results may follow. DR. SwAYNE's AL
HEALING OINTMENT il . pleasant, %"
cure.
L. TAYLOR, Hinsdale, N. H., writes =
For thirty years have been greatly trcas'
led with Itching Piles; have consulted sever
a physicians and tried many remedies, vb'ea
proved 70 be no remedies at all, until o.
tained DR.. Swayne's Ointment At Thonss
drug store, Brattleboro, VT, which cured =
completely"
Swayne's Ointment il also specific ~
Ieter, Itch, Salt Rheum, Scald Head, 81
sipelas, BARRIERS Itch. Blotches, and al Scsy,
Crusty, Cutaneous Eruptions. Price 30 c.
8 boxes for @l.25. Sent BY mail to any =,
dress on receipt Of price, in currency g :
cent postage stamps. Prepared By y.
Swayne { Son, Philadelphia Sold by =
drueRists. GEO. C. GooDwu, bosss+
wholesale agents. ectlS-fsoo&vu
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13
sFraghtsnamg Iavs lids.

The popular impression, strengthened "
some scientific opinions, that consumpte
cannot be cured, has no doubt hastened "
death Of many invalids, bv depriving then 4
the consolation of hope. Persons afflicted via
Pectoral disease should be supported by evsg
assurance Of q cure, not alarmed By VI
gloomy, foreboding countenances of thei
around. For our part, We do not believe ~
consumption il incurable, and let physics.
theorize as they will, We haveja mass Of s.t
dence to prove that persons having ell v
symptoms of consumption, cough, deeb
bloody expectoration, pain and oppressia,
sore throat, diarrhea, night sweats, burniI
fever. &C., have been permanently cured \
"Dr. Swayne's Compound Syrup Of WI
Cherry" This old standard remedy r.
pared only by DR.. Swayne & Son, PhilsdeI
phia. Price Is cents and 81, or six bot'ln
Tor $5. The large size is the most econcsf
cal. Sold by all prominent druggiaas
GRO. c. GoODwIH { Co., Boston. Who!e
sale agents. octl5-feod&vb
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13
Remarks made by MIR. Locke Of
Portland, in the Senate Cham
ber on the 1 9th in relation to the
legality Of the Fusion Legisla-


must oppose any ac'io" oelhs taken oy
this body upon the question now presented,
Tor the following reasons;
LIST, Because there has not been legally
presented 10 TINS body any return OF guber-
material votes from joint committee Of both
prahches OF tne iegisiative department le-
e"'iy organize" IL from ~hich tne house OF hep-
Iesehtati'es shaii: Dy oaiiot' from the persons
having t"e iour hlghest hutnDers OF votes on
the hsts: II so many there be. select two per-
sons anu make return OF these names to the
Senate, of whom the Senate. shall by bal
iot' erect one, VINO snail De declared the Gov
ernor.
"a, because thls body composed OF the
members now present Is not such Senate as
Is contempiated oy the constitution and laws
Vi .",s ".a'e' anu ]" Is grave question wheth-
er IL mas to-day any regal organization.
And under the first proposition, even grant
ing that the members OF the so-called House
VI VI Representatives are legally there, such
rouse OF representatives has no such organ
Hatioh as Is contemplated under the cOnstitu-
non ana laws OF tins State in that. the Speak
er Of said House did not receive majority of
the votes provided by law to be thrown in
said body.
he received less than IS votes as Speaker,
and received all the votes which were cast.
In tne eyes ana under the contemplation of
the law it was absolutely necessary that sew
enty-six votes should have been cast to eject
speaker duly authorized to act under the
law. The rule is laid down BY Cushing in
the law and practice of legislative assem-
biies Sec 29s as follows:
I'm regard TO the number of votes neces-
sary TO elect, it seems to be rule, establish
ing at least by practice and usage that moth
ing short Of an absolute majority will be
sumcient, even in those states. where the
election OF other officers takes place by q
plurality
That House as now existing is nothing NOR.
than caucus Of fusionists
In all legislative bodies. to enable them
to organize and do any business. il must af.
firmatively appear that a majority NJ ,h.
members Of which the body sbonid h. co.,
posed, should be present and acting. II i.
not pretended that there are seventv.,ix Rem
resentatives present and acting in said House.
nor is it pretended that there has been AZ an,
one time since the oath Of Office was admipi:.
tered. Hence saw that said House q. cnn-
stituted is not legal House of Renr.son,"
'tives.
The constitution of this State ,r,;c,o .
part l, sec. 3, says: -
And the Secretary of State for tho TIM,
being. shall on the first "Wednesday of Ian
ary, then next, lay the lists before the Sen..n
and House of Representative and ~ e"a'e .1
lists of votes of citizens in the m;I;,srv .n" ~.
UVfAaN Nrtrx ~n1
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

The mock Legislature went through the
farce of declaring the gubernatorial vote
Yesterday. Mr.. Iamson. President of the
Senate, took the oath of Office as Acting
Governor. They find it dnll work play
ing at holding Legislature with no pay in
prospect They expect to choose bogus
Governor to-day.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

CONGRESS WATER Its superiority as .
cathartic Alternative consists in its entire free
dom from everything bitter. acid or crude
that produces headache. internal soreness
and tends TO destroy the mucous membrane.
All mineral waters that are dangerous irritsn,s
may be known by an acid after-sasse.
Declo<3m..
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

LanGs cannot 6e made bat can be savrd b,
the use q Dr. A. J. Fiasx's Cough and Lang Syrs
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

There's not charm that lights the face
With so inefiable grace.
As sweet. pink lips and ivory teeth:
And nothing now, beneath the sky,
Can beauties such as these supply,
Save SOZoDONT. that wears the wreath
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

IAae Hectic Flush denotes Danger. Re-
heve yourself by using and n once too ID, ]
flagr's Ccaxh and Lung syrup.
b. c W. RE, SONS CELEsY and t-HsNoNIrK
fitLs Are prepArd expressly to Sick Heasiacse
Ne,yess He.dache, pysPspsie Headache. N-uralria
and Nersoasness- and viii cure any case. rr,c~ 50
eents postage FREE Parsons, Rang. Co. Portland,
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

Aiss sewysr's Saive ~ now prepared 10 tbe -
known. Price rs cents. jplysttvd
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

0ughly exposed the illegality Of the count M
Locke took up the pretended Organization of
the Senate. The Senate VA, organ;zad ~,
twelve men who had a plurality Of the vote.
cast in their respective districts, assisted bv
eight men who did not have a pluralitv ~
votes. Under the rules Of all Legislative a.sem.
oiles 1t requires majority Of persons ent;.
tied to seats to elect President and organize
tne body: This rule not having been com.
Phed with there is question whether m.
pe'sueo senate Is anything more than
caucus Mr.. Locke continued:
If the established rules of lev;x,.,;v.
sen'blies are correct, and / have stated ~.
law correctly, then this is not a Senate d',I..
organized The Treasurer of this State 1, -,
aouotiul OF the fact that it is a legal organize.
uon' that although member of the p.rty
,'Haimihg 10 hold the organization Of this ho,1v
ne dares not honor its orders, pa,scd he.s
iast Saturday, to pay its servants .ra .t>,..
orders have been refused payment. and ' T. Is
not TO be presumed that he has NOT t"Ear ~.
pest legal advice that he can obtain. And he
dare n, not assume the responsibility. ~
Inc substance Of the whole matter :. h-;.r
ly stated ~ follows: - "r'e'-
-, ne oatn OF ONCE required the Governor
.no ,;n. Sounci to faithfully discharge the du.
~: euoent upon them to the best of their
To- "S acccrding to the constitution and tho
"a ,a"s OF the State. The constitution reou;r..
u,.. III nem very simple duty in regard TO t.h'
ulaung the returns, namely to examine -.
returned copies Of the lists Of votes ana ;.. "e
sSn sammonses to such persons a. appear 70 s ns
H IIeS.ea oy = plurality Of the votes to ,Ss
thsr 'a:n With the plain provision before them
'ney disregard the constitution 80 :ue" :
su"n'onses 10 persons who bv the y.tn,." IS
pc elected, their acts in that reeard ~, -. 70
no =, binding force, and such persons cl.;m; ne
!. !" ~ = members Of the House or ,..a.hs hns
y tne senate would have no Nor. .-sI":
= nj. =. IN either branch tlaa any other -. =.
'''sn summoned in to help organize H. I.s =. |
Daily Kennebec journal., 1880-01-13

To The Repnbiicaa Adrisory commiuce:
A. cou-e 10 the committee it is my duty
TO call your attention and that Of the pub
lic 10 the anarchy to which the Fusion
leaders have brought the state in four days
ot Legislative rule by defying the Constitu
ton. parliamentary law. and the unani
mOn. decision of the Snprcme Court.