Louisiana capitolian., 1880-07-27
POWER OF WIT.
tCar,oliton. M!ss,, Conservative,

Tho lato Col. Daniel Il. Russell, who
died W his homo IN this place, some
yours ago, ,wan widely known throughout
this section Of the stalo, nv M able law.
yor, Y truo friend, u perfect gentleman.
In his younger days he waS eloctcd
Auditor Of the state, aud dufing tho
CANVASS for Tho ctilco, eDtnbIipl'ed quito
an onviabie reputation IN ~ public
speaker:
"Fellow .cItixens, you have ealloA Oh t,o
pfes fow remarkv, l have mono N mako
| have no prepared speech. lndeod !
an no speaker. do not desirc 10 b. y |
speaker, | oaly want 10 bo an Audi
tor.
l rise but thero is no une tollInS yon
that; you know that ] am up, II" wolI
M ] do. ! am q modest n.an~~yory--
but ] have never lost y picaynno by u
Ia my life; because Of scarce commodi.
" among candidates, thought would
mention u, for fear, IL didn't, yon
never would hear Of IL.
Candidates are generally considered
au uuiyancos, but they are not; tiley aro
tho politest mon In Tho world, shake
you by tho hand, aSk how's your fam
lily, what's tho prospect for crops, Ac.;
aud am tho pol'tsst man In the State.
DSvy Crockett says, tho poltost man
no over Saw, whom no askeA man 10
drink, turned his back 10 that he might
drink as much aw no pleased. ! boat
that oil hollow; give II man IL chance
TO drink twice IL ho wishes, for ! not
only turn around, but shut my eyes. ]
ain not only tho politcst man, but tho
best olectioneoror; You ought 10 400 mo
shaking hands with tho variations, tho
pumphandle aud pendulum, tho crosS
out and tho wIgg'ewsggle. under
stand tho Aciouoo perfectly, and IT any
Of tho country candidates wish inStrac-
tions. they must call on mo.
| Fellow -citizenp, I was born, if had
not boon, ! wouldn't have been u candi-
| date, but twas on tho right side Of tho
negro limo; yet that's no compliment,
| as tho negroes are mostly born on tho
same side, ! started In tho world nv
poor ~ u church mouse, yet | camo hon
cstly by my poverty, for ] inherited u,
and IL / did start poor, no man can't
say but that have hold my own TO.
markably well.
Candidates generally ask you If You
think they are qualified, &c. Now, !
don't ask your thoughts; ] ask your
votes. Why, there's nothing TO think
Of, except TO watch md 400 that
| Swans name Is not on your ticket II
no, think TO scratch IL oil and put mine
on. au, certain that nm competent,
for who ought TO know better than
doi Nobody. will allow that Swan
IL Tho bost auditor in tho State: that Ia,
till l nm electod-then perhaps II is not
proper for mo to say any moro: yot, laa
M honest man, am bound to say that
l.boliovo its y grlevous Sin to lido any
thing from my fellow citizons, therefore
say Tint itH my private opinion, pnb,
iioiy expressed, that III mako tho boat
Auditor over in tho United Statos.
'ris not for honor wish TO bo Audi
tor; for in my own country was offered
an office that was aiI honor, which
respectfully declined. Tho Auditors
Office is worth some $4,000 " year, and
| I am in for'it like thousand of brick
TO show my goodness of heart, ''ll make
this oflor TO my competitor. u am sure
Of being elected, and ho will Ioso so'no
thing by tho canvass therefore | am
willing to divide equally with him, ant
make thoso two offers. Ill tako th'
salary, and he may have the honor, o'
ho may havo tho honor and III take th'
salary. IN tho way of honors, have
received enough TO satisfy mo for lifc
went ont to Mexico, oat pork and boana
slept in tho rain and mud, ndSwallow
+ eli everything except 1.-Two Mexicans
Whom ! WAS ordered TO "go," ] went
"chargc," l charged and "brcak for til
chaparrnI," you had better bolieve,
boat quarter nag doing my duty.
My competitor, Swan, is u bird q
golden plumago, who has bccn swim
ming for tho last four years in tho Audi
tors pond, IS 900 year, ! am for rota
ton. want to rotate him out, and T.
rotate myself in. There's plenty q
room for him to swim outside Of tha
pond therefore, pop in your votes fc
, mo I'll pop him out, and pop myself II
lam for o division Of labor. Swa
, SAYS he has TO work all tho time wit
. his nose down upon tho public GRIND
stone. Four wears must have ground