The Saline County journal. [volume] (Salina, Kan.) 1871-1893, 1880-01-01

some fish under the ice, they run them
to Gypsum, fishing and hunting. Seeing
to an air-hole when one of the party
diving his hand and arm after the
largest one, succeeded in resurrect-
ing an old horn. An inquest was i'm
mediately held which concluded that
someamphibious animal had got alarm
ed at their approach. ran through the
hole i'm the ice, thereby loosing its
means of defence. Some were of the
opinion Nature had left it there to be-
come Rhinoceros, but the youth
being ignorant of zoology pulled it too
soon. No coroner being present our
undertaken took charge of the remains.
Our undertaken met with quite an
accident the 10th while walking along
with his hands in his pockets. The
ground suddenly flew up and sprained
his wrist.
o. Ives, we are going to have Christ
mas tree, that is our Sabbath school is.
Mr.. B. F. Walker is our superintend-
emf, and judging from the success of
the institution, fills the position to the
satisfaction of all.
We suppose Santa Claus is gather
ing presents for the young for we miss
ed two rabbits I'VE had out freezing)
and three bars of soap
Terrible dilemma o;Reporter: After
straining my brain for week prepar-
ing a report, when / went to de-
liver the same, oh horror, the tarnal
thing was missing. Becoming desper-
ate Irammedmy dsinto every pock-
ct and hole in my dilaDidated apparel,
but all in vain. l tore out into the
street, thinking I would hang myself,
but there was no lamp-post handy and
l was afraid to risk those leaning trees
over the river least the limb might
break, and / never wanted to be
drowned. l could shoot myself but l
had no revolver, nor money enough TO
buy one, and to borrow one andn not re-
turn it would give people bad opin-
ion of me, when it was too late to ex-
plain. Nor was this the worst. On
my way to town was thinking how
many costly presents / should buy,
how 1 would burden the tree with
gifts, and the bright faces should see
in consequence-andt to have such rev.
cries SO broken into was too much. l
visited the toy shops for refuge, and
didn't think of being a poor man till
priced the toys. Here again l was
baffied. This thinking town was no
place for me. purchased las near as
my buzzing mind could think of what
l was sent for, feeling like burnt
kitten. But Satan followed me. Now,
the lady of the house wanting some
thing good for Christmas sent for some
cranberries. Well, the pesky clerk
did them up in a paper sack. Now l
was on horseback, and had bought
something's at r. NJ. Morgan s auction.
Well sir, it was cold you know, and
the mare was frisky and finally l got
started. Away we went helter-skelter
kick and lump, till had to get off to
walk on account of cold, and when |
went to get on again there was no
stump, so got the beast in ditch.
When l jumped she squat:cd, and
/ landed clear over on the paper sack.
Cranberries all over the road. 1t was
dark and cold. l deliberately scraped
them up into my cap with enough dirt
to nearly fill oat the measure, and
walked home like little man. Now,
Mr.. Editor, / arr not covered with sores
yet, nor do claim to be sanctificd, hut
I'll bet five cents Job nor John Wc--
ley never lost report and spilled a
sack of berries in that style ih~oneday.
And that fellow WHO found that re-
port, had better say so quick, or forev-
81 heA This peace, or I'll get U. s. De-
tective after him and add cost To crime.
IAXAHCS