The Weston Democrat. [volume] (Weston, W. Va.) 1875-current, 1880-01-17
Jones ft.s;cs Care of Tho Baby.

at sce,ns 10 me-" said Jones to
his wife, who was walking around
tho room, with the baby in her
arms, that woman make great
deal Of unnecessary fuss about put.
ting a child to sleep. Now would
chuck him into bed, and let him
squall it out.
at seems to me-" said Mrs.Jones,
quietly, "that all mon are born
IDIOTS"
Jones couldn't for the life Of him,
SEQ what that fact had to do with
putting the baby to sleep, but he
wisely held his peace.
The next evening, Mrs. Jones
came into tho sitting-room, where
Jones was reading Tho market re-
ports and said:
Il am going down TO mothers
after the receipt for yeast. Baby
is asleep; but II he'shuuld wake, l
presume you could put him to
slcop again-men AFRO so handy
with haiics.'
All right! I'll put him TO sleep
again in less than no time; run
alons, my DEAR. said Jones, cheer
fully.
Mrs. Jones vanished, and Jones
resumed his paper.
Soon after his wifc's departure,
Jones heard = premonitory gr,lnt
from the vicinity Of the bedroom.
"IIullo! what's that? he cx-
claimed, as he assumed n listening
attitude.
lie soon found out, for the ju'
vcnile member OF the Jones family
set up y series of yclls that would
have done credit 10 4 prima donna.
Jones dropped his paper, rushed
into tho bedroom, seized his OIL.
spring, and carried him wrong end
up buck into the sitting-room.
The sudisness of the attack, and
tho unusual position, so astonished
his babyship, that lo forgot to
scream for n few seconds; but
when Jones righted him up, and
offered him Il pair of sleeve:buttons
for pIaythings, Jonny shut his eyes,
opened his mouth, and began
again with renewed vigor and do
termination.
Jones abandoned Che slocvo-but-
tons, and tried to "cuddlc" the
baby up after maternal fashion, but
baby STORMY refused to "cuddle up"
and with degree OF energy for
which Jones was wholly unprepar-
ed, and which cvinccd n total lack
Of respect for the author Of his be.
ing" johnny grabbed the patcrnal
whiskers with both hands and
howIed louder than ever.
Jones released himself, smooth
ed his cherished whiskcre, dcpos-
tied his heir on the sofa, retrcatcd
to safe distance, rubbed his fncc
carefully, qmiled in 4 vague kind Of
way. as if he didn't know exactly
where the fun came in, and won.
dcred "what the dickens Maria
would do unde. similar circum-
stances"
Baby put his fs! into his mouth,
and looked us if he wondered what
his pntemal ancestor would do
next.
"The,o now" exclaimed Jones,
immensely relieved, 'he is papa's
pity title sonny, SO he is"
"Sonny" promptly resented this
by n lons-drawn yell. that struck
terror to the soul Of his dismaycd
parent.
Jones was at his wits end. lIo
grew reckless. lie whistlcd to
that baby, he sang. he mads filces;
he cut series Of antics that would
have driven n ballct-dancer mad
with envy; hut ill to no purpose,
Baby Ind evidently taken n con-
tract to furnish 80 much yoll ina
given time, and was bound to do tho
square thing.
When Mrs. Jones returned sho
found Il misunderstanding man
wandering around the house, with
Il baby on one arm, while with his
discngGgcd hand he wiped the per-
spiration from his manly brow
with the tail end Of the baby's
night-drcss.
at seems to me-" remarked Mrs.
Jones. ms she took the baby, that
men make II great deal Of unneces-
sary fuss nb"ut putting t. baby to
sleep. Now, l."
The front door closed with
hang--Jnnes was on his way down
street to "scc Il man."