The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-15
a MERRY M0URRER.
HIS OVATION ovER THE BURIAL OF
nTFTOcR Alto HOPES

DEMOCRATIC HOPES.
The Republicans of Clarinda. Page
county, Iowa, had a jo11ifcatf0n meets
ing on Friday night, the 9Th inst. At
ter several Republican orators had Civ
en- vent to their feelings with spread
eagle speeches, the crowd called loudly
for Lou. B. Cake. Cake is a Dem ocTat
and he looked too depressed to speak, but
the crowd wouldn't be put off, so he
mounted a box and made the following
unique speech
Fellsw.citizens: A man usually at
tends his own funeral, but it is not ex
pectsd that he should talk great deal.
[Laughterl knew the funeral ceremo-
MES would GO on without me, so cen
cluded I had better bring in the body.
FLaughter1 But ittakes a great deal of
grace to sustain man who helps furnish
the corpse for an occasion like this.
tLaughi;:57I ]. Melody but Democrat
could do it. [Applausel. It is certain
that no one save the Democrats have had
chance to try it fer the last twenty
years. [Shouts of applausel. Disap-
peintment is the modern Democrats
birthright, and mourning his normal con-
ditien. They took cut patent on dis
aster twenty years ago and it has never
been infringed. The patent run cut in
1876 and they have just got it renewed.
Looking over the landscape of the last
twenty years, behold acres aEd acres
of busted hopes, cords and cords Of dis
gruntled ambitions, barrels and barrels
Of unayailing tears, oceans and oceaps
atrewn with the wrecks of phantom ships
snce burdened with Democratic delus-
ions. [Great applause]. Disappoint-
mant is IN anchor to the Democratic
soul, both sure and steadfast.
Leaves have their time to fall,
And flowers to Wither at the north winds breath,
And stars to set but all, o, Democrats
Thou hast all times for thine own death.
Knight Say with shylook, "Spferance,
yea, s,Ber-ance is the badge Of orr tribe"
could give you 829 reasons for this.
[Laughterl. A lawyer offered Judge
sixteen reasons Why his client was not
present in court. First, he was dead
The Judge teld him that lac might onnit
the. other fifteen. The first reason OF the
329 is, we lacked the votes. You will
allow me TO omit the other 1928. [Ap-
plausive consent. But 7 could give you
mere than 800 reasons. Yea, Mercy let
ter. John Kelly did it with his little
racket. [Great applausel. Wade Hamp-
tens mule broke his leg instead Of his
neck, and Ben Hill wasn't born a mule.
English had foreclesed his mortgages
and we couldn't redeem. Then
IT'S the South that san supply
Solid CONF IS while we die.
Ia some States the Greenback party
fell through crack in their platform
and crippled US. Laughterl. But
Demeclaoy still lives. LGreat Gpplausel
It's like the mule--it never dies. But
unfortunately, like the mule, while il
lives it is forever throwing its riders.
1t bucked Greeley off and killed him
in 1872. Tilden stuck en- till he passed
under the wire, [Applausel. But there
was SO much daylight between him and
THIS Democratic quadruped the Judges
counted him ed, although he had his
foot in the stirrups. This year we got a
splendid send-ef and might have won,
but the donkey was stricken down in
Indiana with (g) Landers. [Applausel.
we close this chapter of history with the
hope the story will not be continued in
our next [CheersI. We accept defeat
the mere cheerfully because Of the mag
unanimous manner with which you take
the victory. We take it every four
years. 1t is standing prescription. 1t
might well be called the quadrennial
ipec&c. [Groausl. 1t works up before
the election and works down when the
returns GENE IL. We thank you for the
magaanimOus way in which you have
turned out to eur funeral. [Applause].
We congratulate you on the magnificent
and imposing character of the obsequies.
Here the speakers feeling evercame
him and he retired amid encouraging
earthquakes and aPplausive avalanches.]