davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18
Nrs. Partfngton.

'Wolfs c-h-i-e, skee, d-s- m, dam, skeedam."
"Stop, Isaac" said Mrs. PartipgtoH.sholding up
her fingers, as Ike spelling the label on q
bottle of aromatic schnapps that had been Sub
scribed for her embargo" she expressed it.
The Juvenile had laid malicious emphasis on
the last syllable, and the danes ear, sensitive
to profanity, was shocked the sound vibrated
on her auricular drum like Yankee Doodle upon.
a tin kitchen, and she held up her finger as if to
beat time. "Stop, Isaac, and don't never let me
hear you say sich word again it's agin Scrip
tur and natur and everything. Why, You new
er even hear the brute beasts swear, and how
dreadful it is that man should, a nice little
boy, that can think and speak. Though a cnrse
generally follows dammng, we should leave it
TO speak for itself" Ike here got the stopper
out, aud Mrs. Darlington, first applying the cas-
bottle to her nose and then to her mouth, said,
as she placed it again on the table, ITO my oil
factories b'lieve it's gin, and genuine gin, too.
But what do they call it schnapps fo.f 1t must
he that it makes the eyes snap OF them that
drink it, like the toads under the Juniper bush
es" Ike took down from the buffet the last
wine glass of the dozen her own, and Mrs.
P. smiled ss she placed the glass with slight
cough on the table, not noticing that Ike was
saturating his handkerchief with the aromatic
con tents. We expect a report Of the case If
Mrs. T., and the effect of VOLTS Schapps in lurh-
bago, in DIR. Smiths Medical Journal.-Boston
Post
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18
Gave Him the Mitten,

"Ah, mon dIeu! mon dieu!" said Monsieur
Melemots to his friend Snifkins, "my sweetheart
gave me de mtten."
"Indeed-how did that happenp
"Vell, / fought must 90 for to make her one
viseet before | leave town SO step in de side
room, and dare behold her beautiful pairson
stretch ont on Won lazy"
"A lounge, you Inean."
"Ah, yes-von lounge. And den make Won
yer polite branch aud -"
"You mean polite bow"
"Ah, yes-von bough. And den l say vas
yer sure she would be rotten, If did not come
to see her before -"
''You said what 7"
81 said she would be rotten, if"
That's enough. You have put your foot in
il, to be sure
"No, sare. put my foot out of it; for she
says she would call her sacre big brother, and
keek me out, be gar. had intended to say NOR
titled but could not tink of de word, and rot is
all de same rs Won, in my dctionare."
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18
r.. JOHN Blu LII,
Manufacturer and Tendor Of
SMITHS TONIC SYRUP,
BULLS SARSAPARILLA,
BULLS WORM DESTROYER,
The Popular Remedies of the DGy
Principal Oface, No. 3l9 Main Street,
LOUISVILLE, KY.
BULLS
SARSAPARILLA.

Read The Jolosng extract Of letter from hrs. Rrers
asis Of Rec Dr. Rirers Of The most learned eloquent
and popular Ainsers Of The Hsthodit Episcopal Church
and r6o ns time ef irriing stationed at BrOadsay
Church, Louisriue, by.
LOUISVILLE, Kr- Oct. G. 1869.
Doctor John BuH-Dsdr Sir:-Msny thanks to you for
the medicine you have kindly given me- have been
great sufferer for and had the advice of various
physicians Some pronounced my spine, some my lungs,
been burnt blistered and cupped till had become dis
hesrtened Several very eminent physicians who exam
usrslysis Or sppopeIy any day and that nothing but
seton would relieve me. had perfect horror Of that
s1d va. hssitatng ABOUT having one inserted when You
begun to take three times day suffered terribly with
pain In the right side Of my head especial
" when would read write for length Of time and
rising my feet would be perfectly blind for
sra minutes and would have to hold to something to
an most happy to inform you that the pain my head
10 entirely relieved: suffer but seldom with my spine
nd ass no. s0 & s S dpger than
any meel during the day.
You kindly four bottles again last night and
Ae1ed Please accept heartfelt thanks and best wishes
Very truly your most grateful friend,
Ny Jouru. abounds with similar letters all of which
guarantee be genuine and written by the persons
whose name they bear,
De not suffer yourself to be imposed Don't be
DR. away after and doubtful experiments. Don't
risk health by letting novces experiment upon
with their trash.
St 10 still the sarsapara Of the day. and Of the age
srug all others in popularity, and in its curative
qualities
Avoid all those who trying to palm off You other
extracts Of Sarssparila called Remember it il DR..
John Bulls Sarsapsrilla, Of Louisville KY, that is the
old and reliable remedy for impurities Of the blood and
scrofulous affections. Always bear that in mind
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

ONE of the witnesses in the Hayden trial was
a kind hearted old Deacon. He testified that
Hayden end himself had a talk about poison for
rats, aud he also informed the minister that he
had sprinkled Paris green on his peas. "My
wife" he said, in innocent simplicity, "would-
MT let me bring the peas into the house because
she was afraid they were poisoned. told her
that We wouldn't waste them-wed give them
to some of the brethren aud sisters" Here's
where the court laughed, aud also where the
wonder ceases that people are poisoned in Con-
necticut.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18
Che fin Of the Ching.
SAINT PArR1cK,s DAY.


SAINT PATRIcK's DAY.
March seventeenth the day we maize our display,
Our persons with bright green Affirming;
And We Micks all felt proud. and shouted aloud.
&c lis Saint Patrick Day in the morning."
II the weather clear bright eyes did appear
And the sun In its glory dawning.
We ali felt elate, and rejoiced in our fate,
On Saint Patrick's Day in the morning
Some women It's said were not out of bed
Who had babies all ready for bsrning;
And sure twas at home little Pats ought to come
On Saint Patrick's Day in the morning
And the men all did chime saying this il the time
For all to get . good corning;
And II to Elynns drink his whiskey and gin
On Saint Patrieks Day I'm the morning.
And the girls. all 50 nice. appeared in trice.
The nd and cold weather all scorniuz
Walking of with the Pats who wore the "a II hats
On Saint Patricks Day 10 the morning.
The Katys and Bridget. were all in the fdgets,
To give to their lovers this warning:
Not strike the hard eks with their ponderous sticks
On Saint Pstrcks day in the morning
To our friends all SO bright who with Us unite.
This day is surely belonging;
And happy well be, with large liberty,
On Saint Patrck's Day in the morning.
Such is what did appear for many a year,
Full Of life we thought not Of yawDingi
But marched boldly on. till the goal we had won.
On Saint Patrieks Day in the morning
But thngs have changed, and better arranged
We give % the poor the wolf from their door,
On Saint Patriek's Day in the morning
Saint p. from above will look down in his love.
On the gain We have made in our parsing;
We give up display. and c0mmehce new way,
On Saint Patrickis Day in the morning.
We have not repented, but feel better eontented,
For covering the poor with an awning;
We come in their need and feel happy, indeed.
This Saipt Patrick's Day in the morning.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

An Oil CITY FRESHMAN having signed the
pledge, was charged soon sfterward with having
drank. "'Twas me absent mindedness," said
Pat, IAN n habit i have of talkin' wild mseelf.
L sed to meslef, seq i, Pat, COON in and have
drink NO sur SEE l, Tve shworn aft Thin
I'll dhrnk alone ser to meself. An I'll wait
for you outside, SEE /. An when meself came
out, faith, an he was drunk"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

The proprietor Of this celebrated medicine justly
claims for IL superiority all remedies offered
20 the public for the SAFE. CERTAIN. SPEEDY, and
PERMANENT cure Of Ague and Fever, OF Chiils and
Fever whether O short long standing he refers to
the entire Western and Southern country to bear him
testimony the truth Of the assertion that in
VII stcver viii H fail TO the directions strictly
followed and carried out In grsa, many single
dose has been sufficient for cure and whole families
been cured by single bottle with perfect resto
ration general health 1t i however prudent and in
every certain to cure If its use continued In
smaller doses for week two after the disease has
been checked especially in difficult and long stand
ing cases Usually tks medicine will not require any
aid keep the bowels in good order Should the patient
however require eaihartic medicine. single dose Of
BULLS VEGETABLE FAMILY PILLS will be suff-
eient
The genuine SMITHS TONIC SYRUP must have DIR.
JOHN BILLS private stamp on each bottle. DIR. JOHN
BULL only has the right manufacture and sell the
original JOHN J. SMITHS TONIC SYRUP, Of Louis
VILE Ky. Examine well the label each bottle If my
private stamp each bottle do not purchase
you viii be deceived.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

DIR. BYLEs' WIT met with q very serious retort.
Encouniering lady who, having declined an
offer of marriage from the doctor, had married a
gentleman by the name of Qaincy, he said: $50,
madam, it appears you prefer auinsy to biles."
YES" she replied, "for if there had been any
thing worse than biles, God would have afflicted
Job with it,"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

IL the Memorial of Archibald Constable" by
his son, recently printed, the following anec-
dote is told: "An old, deaf aunt Of the publish
er was on her deathbed, and her mind, always
eccentric, had begun to waver aud fail. "Anu,"
she said to her attendant, "if should be spared
to be taken away, hope my nephew will get
the doctor to open my head, and see whether
anything can be done for my bearing"
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

A RICH ScoTCHMAN at the point of death, said
to his pastor "Do you think if / left fl0,0O0 to
the Presbyterian Church, my soul would be
saved 7" II can't promise you anything" said
the good man, after seconds thought, but it's
worth trying
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

AT DINNER she had a doctor on either hand,
one of whom remarked that they were we'll
served, since they had duck between them.
"Yes, I" she broke in-her wit is of the sort that
comes in fiashes-"and am between two quacks."
Then silence fell.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

THE other day, a countryman asked one of
Barnum's men, where 10 the mummy ~ The
latter replied, "He is dead" and the inquirer
passed on, perfectly satisfied, for be couldn't ex
pect that even Barnum could prevent a pe4ent.
age of mortality.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

SCENE IN NEW YoRK.-"Pease, sir, give me q
penny; ny mother Is starving, and We have
nothing to eat, and no money to get FOOD 'Can' t
do it. little girl I'm on my way to subscribe
to the Irish relief fund, and must not be both
cred ~
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

BISHOP AMEs tells story of slsve-master in
Missouri, in the olden time of negro vassalage,
who said to his chattel: "Pompey, hear you
are a great preacher" ayes, massa, de Lord do
help me powerful sometimes" "Well, Pompey,
don't you think the negroes steal little things
on the plantation ?" "I'se mighty 'fraid they
does, msssa" "Then, Pompey, want you to
ing" After brief reflection, Pompey replied:
"You see, msssa, dat wouldn't never do, cause
t'would trow sich col'ness ober de meetn."
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

A COUNTRY EDITOR, on being asked "Do hogs
pay ~ says, great many do NOT. They tkae the
paper several years, aud then have the post
master &c nd it back refused
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

"SuFFKRER"-The best remedy for cold feet is
to but them in the small of your wife's back, on
retiring. By hobbling her, all danger from kick
ing will be avoided.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18
ANOTHER TESTIMONY.

BENTON BARRACKS, Mo-, April 20, 1866.
Doctor John Bul-Dedr Sir Knowing the efficacy of
your Sarsapara and the healing and beneficial quail
ties IL possesses, send you the following statement Of
my case;
Twas wounded about two years ago. was taken prison
er. and confined for sixteen months Being moved so
0fteB my wounds have not healed yet have not sat
up moment since was wounded am shot through
the hips. Ny general health is impaired and need
something assist nature. have faith in your
Ssrsapsrilla than anything else wish that which is
genuine, Please express me half dozen bottles and
oblge CAPT. c. 2. JOHNSON
St. Louis, Mo.
P. S-The following written April 30, 1856 By Mrs.
johnson, mother Of Capt johnson:
DR.. John Bul-DslT Sir - Ny husband . skillful
surgeon and physician in Central New York where he
died leaving the above C. P. johnson to my At
thirteen years Of age he had chronic diarrheA and
sersfula, for which gave him your Sarsaparilla 1t
sursd Ain. have for ten recommended it to many
in New York Ohio and Iowa for scrofula feversores
and general debility Perfect has attended it,
The sfscted Of srcuiG and per
asso ssiraei0ss any very anxious for son to
again have to Sarsaparia He Is fearful
Of getting spurious article hence his writing you for
H. His wounds were terrible but believe he win recover
respectfully,
JENNIE JOHNSON.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

PHILADELPHIA GIRLS are sometimes enthusi-
asts. One Of them says she would get married,
if she could kick like Lolita.
The Weekly Kansas chief. [volume] (Troy, Kan.) 1872-1918, 1880-03-18

36H week 4. year az. town rsr.s and 8 sasas
PVO free. Address Il. EALLxTI & Co. Portland Ne.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
The Most Wonderful Mechanical Instrument
of the Age.

The music be changed ihsantaneously The sets of
Quadrles and other pieces complete in quantity,
and automatically correct in time: and all the
changes of figures printed the sheet, any one
even child without for music or musical know
ledge, provide the music do the prompting and
far take the place of professional musicians as to call
forth the lament-'our occupation is gone Musicians
not everywhere available and very few afford to
engage them when they are available. The amount
usually paid them night will buy Orgunettc,
and Music enough for every night in the year without
the unpeasanness and restraint caused by the presence
of strangers. The trinC cost of the music, the
pact and convenient method of keeping it. and the
omy of the whole arrangement places the 0rgunette
over five hundred per cent above any other mechanical
musical instrument in the world.
We purpose selling these Wondrous Mechanical Mu-
steal Instruments at SIS to $50 each, and the Music at
l2Is cents Der fOOt
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
Important Notice,

In conclusion. would draw your attention to the fact
that. mine being the only Music Store in the Kingdom
my facilities for getting the Newest and Best Selection
Of Goods appertaining to Musical Instruments and
Music in all its branches, superior those of any
other Importing House these Islands: and as my ex-
penses small can and will give larger assortment
in this Kingdom. 7s2
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
GEO. F. WELLS GENERAL MUSIC STORE

FlahO FOTI5s OTgaIsi 11usIvaI IHs U ulI51Is' &c
Geo F. Wells wishes his patrons TO distinctly
dersand that while he is thus catering their smaller
wants he has not neglected forgotten the i'm
portant business of MUSIC IN ALL IT'S BRANCHES,
As is the only importer of the celebrated Weber Piano.
Grand Square and Upright the pures toned, most ele
gantly finished and most brilliant instruments in
troduced these Islands These instruments he offers
ut the following prices: Sf75 To $1,000. San Fran
cisco prices Tor the same Piano, $3.50 10 81 200.
Now the Weber Piano imported from New York to
San Francisco costs, freight. S75
From San Francisco to Honolulu. 10
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19

At large discount from the prime for cash Hav-
ing space for this class of goods, he viii sell once
to the earliest bidder these goods at prices hitherto
precedented at the lowest most runous of auction
sales. The stock comprises
Lounges, Arm Chairs Tables Parlor Sets,
Bedroom Sets. Tables Extension Tables,
Chairs NO Kind. &c sc
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
An our Machines Fully Warranted for Years.

1t is not object to state that it is the best machine
in the world; but in justice to it. and integrity
know of no superior for Family We do not push
the sale Of these Machines but keep full assortment
at our Ware Rooms and respectfully call your attention
to the fact. We hope you will call and examine the
peror merits of this Machine which has become so i'm
mensely popular Its merits are:
Simplicity Of Construction; Feto parts, tchich OBJ
rdtes the possibility of getting ont oforder and the
simplicity Of threading, irhich at once cOmmends it
Ihe Ina
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
NOVELTIES

The greatest novelty ever introduced into these music
loving Islands patented and introduced lately the
q RGU L NJ Il IT IT Il,
And is constructed the principle of Cabinet Organ,
and can be operated upon by any one, child ut
terly unacqlainted with music. There i limit to
either kind quantity Of music. II will play Hymn
Tunes Popular Airs Quadriles, Polas Waltzas etc,
with clearness and accuracy which few performers
equal and can be carried under the The ORGUI-
NETTE with its automatic music sheets, represents
both organ and organist. music, musician and music
teacher and is admirably adapted for singing parties,
dancing parties evening entertainments surprise par
lies and educational purposes, and is therefore
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19

We import direct from New York freight S15 the San
Francisco importer wants profit, that say i
per cent. Thus at least $3.50 on the lowest
quality. and more in proportion. Figures talk All
ask is come and see the instrument.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
A VALUABLE
MedicalDiscovery
Reuter- S
Life
Syrup

Is a medicine that was discovered by old NURSE
BERTRAND, who had been occupicdin sick rooms and
with the care of sick people, for over ffy years 1t
is nude purely and entirely Of Plants, Herbs
and Roots, and IS exceedingly agreeable and
pleasant TO both the taste and SMELL being warm, T.
aromatic and spicy. 1t IL a most thorough purge,
cleaning out the bowels without pain and without
nausea or sickcnng. 1t docs not weaken and leaves
the system open andfree never dryingup the bowels
afterwards, as every other purge that we know OF
does ncan be given TO infants and invalids with
safety and in every Of old young it is guara-
teed to cure the worst Of constipation indges-
tion and all diseases that affect the stomach and
bowels 1t is, moreover, powerful stimulator and
lNVIGORATOR OF THE LIVER. Its
effects upon the blood and humors is something real
ly astonishing, and is much immediate and
thorough than that OF any other purifier yet iscov-
cred, having this great advantage that when ii has,
bylts depurating powers set fee in the system the
poisons OF Scrofula, Salt Rheura Malignant Clcerous
Sores and Cancerous gatherings or Jumps instant
iy carries them ont of the body by purging the bow
els. No other purifier docs this: with all of them
the patient must take pills, some other equally
nauseous dose OF physc il they do not the poison
remains In the system, and goes back into the blood
REUTERS LIFE SYRUP is exceedingly
pleasant to take needs no second dose to purge the
bowels, and does all the work required TO effect COM
plete cure ~.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19

We have already been met with the objection that in
dyiduals wanting articles cannot get them in
districts without much trouble and expense and
obviate this difficulty we have devised the following
scheme:
Amy number of persons desiring ten or more articles
shall select from the Catalogue the Goods they require
and send their order with the Cash. and directions
pack and forward TO directed person. This shall be
DONE and to the named person the goods shall be
boxed and packed with the additional Bonus of ONE
EXTRA ARTICLE IN EVERY TEN, selected to
repay them for the trouble of delivering each to its
spective owner To prevent disappointment in ordering,
IL will be necessary to mention the articles specially de-
sired add extra number to the list to substi
tute should any be out stock the time of ordering
Don't fail to send Geo F. Wells for Catalogue and
Drgra 4 fuf
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
BAN WAGONS.

WNE HAVE JUST RECEIVED A Few More
Wv n those Justly Celebrated Wagons carrying ca
zri-r z5n 10 $50 lbs The demand for these Wagons
inc-casius. OF al have imported none have failed
70 GIEE PERFECT SATISFACTION. Although goods
q ercT description have advanced in price, shall
SELL THIS LOT OF WAGONS ATOLD PRICES.
We also hare one DEMOCRAT SPRING WAGON
-Eo spr.ng ScAis- with Pole, Well Made, Strong.
Durable and Cheap.
We have Z few more those Cortland Burries omen
1rf via TOP
one Two Seat Wagon. with Top. Pole and Shaft
These Csr-lMnd wagons NOTED for their Strength
and Durability. andwe authorized TO guarantee them
Dr. NE rspe They sold at from y 70 30 per cent
lur any other vehicle of styc offered in this
-usre1 We kEfe sold large number of these Wagons
and B1EEes- Those who have tried them say there is
.nc EEI'TER rehzrie made
d Tor Circular Of Prices or call and be convinced.
-M DILLINGHAM; 4 co.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
THE AMERICAN SEWING MACHINE

SeUeH thousand Fire Hundred Dollars north of
american SetoiHg Machines sold here
ia less than Trio Years.
No greater proof of the value of an article than its
steadily increasing sales In all this large number only
one has been returned for repairs
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
STOCK OF NOVELTIES

OF every conceivable kind and description from
Eastern Markets with taste and care Bought at the
lowest cash prices large quantities direct from the
manufacturers he offers each and every article in
he Store
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
Special Notice.
HOUSEHOLD EuRNITuRE

Geo. F. Wells begs to notify the inhabitants of Hon
lulu that he has purchased under very peculiar circur
stances, manufacturers stock of highly finished
designed add elegantly manufactured
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
AROUND THE WORLD WITH GRANT.

f.N-E lLDEk6lSEED ARE APPOINTED
Agents ics the cnly authentic and authorized edi-
=lE Ct -AECrED THE WORLD WITH GRANT, by
- AzhnnA fcznr. issued by the American News Co. 10
1sr1FeiH II ~ paris tc form two volumes Another
e@Zr1n r-r7cEeirF to be Grants Tour are spurious
WHITNEY 4 ROBERTSON,
= = THoS- G. THRUM-
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19

MEN UsT FEEL AN
WI additional pleasure on seeing
a Large Assortment Of Elegant
Goods Perfectly New, and War
rzufed 10 be the Finest Product of
the Loom
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
For one Douar!

1t is matter OF impossibility for people who have
hitherto bought goods here to realize the tremendous
difference IN the value of what they hare got and what
they can nor get for the READY CASH DOLLARi
But the stubborn remain that what is now selling
in The neiphborine stores for be obtained aud
selected from this large stock for ONE DOLLAR The
whole secret consisting in the fact-the Goods are
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19

lTREGLOAN,S. ALL THE
n New Goods, such as Bedford
Cords. Scotch Tweeds, Serges, dag
onais, Boys Suitings, Trowserings,
Nestings. COatings. Broadcloths, &C.
VIII be disposed OF fuzzy Thirty per
cent cheaper than ever before Of
fered in Honolulu.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1880-05-19
EVERY ARTICLE IS SENT OUT IN PERFECT ORR

Every article exactly described in the Catalogue
and will be readily exchanged if not approved Of The
Catalogue win be added TO by every mail and as fresh
novelties arrive the public will be notified of the fact