Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-02-20
The Church Road.

On the road once more, with Leb-
anon fading away in the distance, the
fat passenger drumming idly on the
window pane, the cross passenger
sound asleep and the tall thin passen.
ger reading General Grants Tour
Around the World" and wondering
why Green's August Flower" should
be printed above the doors of "A
Buddhist Temple at Benares." To me
comes the brakeman, and seating him.
self on the arm of the seat says:
II went to church yesterday"
"Yes?" l said, with that interested
infection that asks for more. "And
what church did you a:tend?"
Which do you guess ?" he asked.
"Some union mission church ?" I
hazarded.
Nav" he said, 81 don't like to
ride on these branch roads very much.
l don't often 60 to church, and when I
do, want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you go
on schedule time and don't have to
wait on connections. 1 don't like to
run on branch. Good enough, but
don't like it,"
episcopal ?" guessed.
Limited express" he said, call
palace cars and two dollars extra for a
seat; fast time and only stop lat the
big stations. Nice line, but too ex-
haustive for brakeman. All train
men in uniform, conductors punch
and lantern silver-plated, and no train
boys allowed. Then the passengers
are allowed to talk back at the con-
ductor and it makes them too free and
easy. No, l couldn't stand the palace
cars. Rich road, though. Don't often
hear Of receiver being appointed for
that line. Some mighty nice people
travel on it, too."
"Universalist ?" suggested.
Broad gauge" said the brakeman;
does too much complimentary bust
ness. Everybody travels on a pass.
Conductor doesn't get fare once in
Fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations
ana won't run into anything but
union depot. No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are rather vague
though, and the train men don't get
along well with the passengers. No. L
didn't go to the Universalist, though
know some awfully good men who
ian on that road
Presbyterian ?" asked.
Narrow gauge, eh ?" said the brake
man, pretty track, straight as q rule;
tunnel right through mountain
rather than go around it; spirit level
grade; passengers have to show their
tickets before they get on the train.
Mlghty strict road, but the cars are a
little narrow; have to sit one in seat
and no room in the aisle to dance.
Then there's no stop.over tickets al
lowed; got to 60 through to the station
you're tlcketed for, or you can't get on
at all. When the cars full, no extra
coaches; cars built at the shops to hold
Just SO many and nobody else allowed
on. But You don't often hear of an
accident on that road. It's run right
mp to the rules"
Maybe you joined the Free Think
ers?" said.
Scrub road" said the brakeman
dirt road bed and no ballast; no time
card and no train dispatcher, All
trains run wild and every engineer
makes his own time, just as he pleases.
Smoke if you want to-; kind of a go.as.
you please road. Too many side tracks.
and every switch wide open all the
time, with the switchman sound asleep
and the target lamp dead ont Get on
rs you please and get off when You
want to. Don't have to show your
tickets, and the conductor isn't ex.
pected to do anything but amuse the
passengers. No, sir, 1 was offered a
pass but don't like the line. I doot
like to travel on road that has no ter.
minus. Do you know, sir, l asked a di
vision superintendent where that road
run to, and he said lie hoped to die if
be knew. / asked him if the general
superintendent could tell me, and he
said he didn't believe they had gen
erai superintendent, and if they had.
be didn't know anything more about
the road than the Passengers. Iasked
hlm who he reported to, and he said
nobody" / asked q conductor who
he got his orders from, and he said he
didn't take orders from any living man
or dead ghost. And wnen | askeJ the
engineer who he got his orders from
ne said he'd like to see ANYBODY give
him orders, he'd run that train to suit
himself or he'd run it into the ditch.
Now you see. sir, I'm a railroad man.
and don't care TO run on q road that
has no time, makes no connections.
runs nowhere and has no superintend,