davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1880-04-17
A S8Y0RY GANG.

Detectives HaIncs and SImmona yeatoryiay rO.
covcred In Fronk'x m t,ahnn M .. tvo.t r.
s,,ss .."... "a p"""au'P, ., w. ~ "oes Aan-
av.pa suees, tno ouI'osy sto'on last Sunday
William, Dlalr L. Co., No. 17a Lako street. Tho
thieves wer5 nrrostod A fow dnyn nm hv thn
Wc,t Nathan s,root noiioo. ,,n,n Isforc,. au
"oat atati'so" s.Eoo' pollce upon Information
Furnished BY Superintendent O'Donnoll. Tue
police have actually dared u pIlfor tho .orodit
~ aaN uoss ..a. 10y w" Was
1nrn1snea W u Soernutton uroPped ~ mo pur'
e!asizoa house. aud which thoy succeeded In
Unlcva INV IN c,stnd~ gh,rt. .h,,tton ans
chon,se, hutton :" cIc,vs h,vo 49, ~ n,,nn ,aa. .a
sn"a!'s~es''o'. sa"aa ''oMs nasS 20 oltcn peen
thIa flmsy pretpuso il ridiculous, Desldca
Haley. fhe no,ico arre.toa putriclr HINT nnnIo1
fchton, aha John DIlton' Tho former II too vol
known ln criminal circles to require any 1ntfo-
, 1880-04-17
nlM PEnRn,S Rom

Tho bark Amy 4. Lane Is now loading In
this city for Rio. An important part OF her
cargo Is lot Of forty large railroad scalcs,
built by tho Howe Scale Company for the
Dom Pedro Railroad Of Brazil. Thfs line Is
one Of the most important In Brazil, rum
ming from Rio out into the, heart of the agrf:
patronage and care of tlios Emperor, in in
whose honor It Is nnmctl Tho selection ff
the Howe scales for Use m this road Ia a
compliment to be appreciated, and shows a
preference for them Iii that country over all
0thors,-Nc.v York Eucni,,U Post.
, 1880-04-17

bpRtsa1 UHp1lth % Tbs Chicago If1bHNA
INDIANAPOLIS, Ind, April l1.-The Cleveland,
columbus, Cincinnati T. Indianapolis Iatlroad
was tho Victim Of outra9os aEain lust night,
committed BY three or four trnmps who boarded
tae train at Winchester for tho purpose Of steal
la9 ride. After tho conductor had put thern
on they began stontng tho train, Ono OF tho
mssslles barely missed tho conductors head,
several Of thom struck tho Wagner sleeper,
breaking number OF tho heavy plato-glasa
wlndowst but fortunately without injury to tho
husssengera. This innrI,iug two Wigs. giving
~ ttHetr names ~ N0llio Thomas and Charles Mnr-
hnnefo {a9 tEaln-mo1l recognised them nj 1nelu.
niaSS niaS OF 1he yang that attacked tho train last
hh.S1t They Will l,e sent to Winchester for trial
ILL., ~ freight train they camo into town Just In
, 1880-04-17
BUSINESS NOTICES,

highly beneficial results during tho Inst four
years In tho various forms of Dyspepsia gnstritis,
nausea, general debility, consumption. etc. Xii.
Ike beverage IL footll: mnfc from, milk. pccul-
t9riy grateful to doticate stomach. Nothing
clse makcs iicsh. and blt, and strength So fast.
II Gun be safely relied f0r Tho rccupcrnton Of
those cases Of 1ow vitality III which medication
6r ordinary nutrition fall. sefId for cIrolslar.
1l9ware OF limitations. Arcnd's Kntnyss Is not
enld to tho trAdo Consumers supplied directly
by a. Arcnd, Chemist, 10 Madison street, Chi
E1Q0.
, 1880-04-17
MURDERED by 4 CI1INANrAN.

MURDERED by \ CI1INAATAN.
FAN FRANCISCO, Cal, April 1s.-Tho htsiy of
Dir. Severance hns been discovered in wood-
shed near tho house Of a Chinnmnn In saucfito.
Ah Lung eonfcsgcs TINT ho killed Severance
whio milking, striking him with MI nx. The
murder wns Planned eomc time hcforc, and tho
gr,vo wns already prepared when tho murder
tank ptaco. TO moro of1cctuntly conceal tho
place If b,trfnl thu nest of sotttng.hcn was rc-
moved. nnu whcn tho hotty wna Inferred tho nest
appear M bcE0rc tho removal Of tho 0nrth. THIS
wns accomplished 20 nrtfnl1y ns to completely
jofn!,ig In tho search, concluded to Commence 1T
ihn placo wlcro Soyernnco wns last acen, md,
while lingering IN tho vicinity nf tho she'd, thu,
Of decomposition. Tho excitement IN SnuctIt0
IA so Krpnt that tho ChInainnn would hnyc boon
lynchcA irNho hitter had not been placed In tho
hands of tho authorities.
, 1880-04-17

New ORLEANS, La.. April 1g.-A crovasso oo-
ourred yestortlay ono milo below Thobodoaux,
on Nayou Lefolircho. loft bank. Mr.. Pandoly,
Of Morgan's Road, has a hundred nlen at work
insisting mn cqual number Furnished by plnnt-
crs., Thoy hope TO close the break by Sunday.
Trouble continues With tho Sharpe croyassc, tho
dntns havlng several times given wny. Tho
authorities hUro to havo It permanently closed
this Wcck.
, 1880-04-17

CoLuMHtA, 8. G., April 10.-A dispatch from
Grccnville, s. C., states that tho hand Of negro
ineendiaries who fired tho city nino times Inst
winter. and burned oyor fourth Of tho town,
verdict was rendered tho Judge pronounced
sentence. directing that tlsoy should be hinged
on Juno II. Tho Testimony developed a con-
epiraoy bneed on plundorlng and rpbblng not
surpassed In criminal annals.
, 1880-04-17

QUINCY, ILL.,, April l0.-Thlsmo tho police
cfEoctcd tho arrest Of two horse.thtovcs Of h
desperate character. Thoy were heavily armed,
md showed light when arrested. They gavo
thoir names as Btcwnrt when first lacked up, but
tllu officers found letters on t1sen which showed
tint they wero brothers named Btorrs, and thus
they 1.-Two ncnr Lnn1atn, DIo. These lottcrs re-
vcnt several operations III which tina fcllows
hnvn lntcly been engaged They came into this
city Inst night with eolon horse in their pos
session. Ii IN expected TINT tlcir nrrest will n8-
atst ia making Important developments cot,-
cerning tho RnflE NJ hDrst. thieves w!1D hnyo 0p-
crntctl In this county nrl.l vicinity md nlung tho
Quincy. Missouri & 'PnoiGio md Iianntbnl l. 1t.
Jop RDntts In Missouri.
, 1880-04-17
PARTIAL CONFESSION.

zANEsy1LLE, O., April 1o-Godfroy smnlley,
rcatding near Marietta, O., hns bocn nrrestoj by
Lieut.. Linton, charged With the murdcrof Jacob
na,ighman, Aug. 30, 1867. Mr.. Dnughman
WIS a wealthy farmer residing noar this city,
and boing bachelor md living alone, bis body
WnB mt found until tho tay following blu sup
posed murder. snlalley is now in jail: ind, from
pnrtta1 confession mndc, there seems to bo no
doubt Of his guilt.
, 1880-04-17
HEAVY SNOW.STOAM,

6peetai Dbpaseh to The Chicago Trtbut4
FoxD Mt Lac, Wis, April lh-The heaviest
storm OF tho season commenced this
morning md continued until nearly night.
fourteen inches fell.
ROCHESTER,, MInn., Arrll i4.-Dnp Inch nf
enoN ttits morning, and tho cold raw f3ny viii
prevent any needing this week.
, 1880-04-17

city a1t tho forenoon. tia ohjcei, t,c tn!d. in
coming CT hcro was io secure lcgnl escape from
a s Fsss3 s.t e91pf nsae fo ~ m rostSg s% rea, sS
tion firm, tho gnvct1,or Of, Mtnncsota bcoauso
q hts pnrt in tho Northfcii robbery. 1lo
met II afr. klger, who furmerly knew him. md.
itts alleged. took 1nonl with him. Tho ro,hcr
's sald to hive !eft tho city Tonight o.. oftc Of
tho wrat.HGuild trims. Whether or not tho man
wns Jesse Jntncs, It ia t01crnlIly certain that
n,ntl tr'la hero who wna tnkon FOR tho OUTLAW by
peorle formerly well ncAunintcd With him.
, 1880-04-17
OTHER IIANQlNGS.

, CHARLESTON. q. c., April 1a.-WIlltam q.
uatoe Taa c1ecuted Mt Darnwoli Court-fIouse,
this state, to-day for the murder OF stephen W.
Husn Of dance lust C4ristmAs oyo His mock
sta. 49, ofnkcn by the fhll, ul1d hn died without
''fHKgie. Tho execution was private.
rnALeesFQN, April l8.-A Ncses special from
Gatvett ;set aays nut Walker, coiorotI, was hanged
.rs .r1esu To-day fur the murder In 1915 or biofrto.
x, ~" PRISONER said ho was not going to Hell, but
~. mou!a ny right straight to Heaven. Ills neck
w. va not broken by tho full, although tho drop
~ Mas et1 feet three luchcs Five thousand pel-
PIC Witnessed the execution,
, 1880-04-17

epsefas nspat:h to 1fs Chicago 1fdhAnA
oF. LOUIS, April 1t-lt ia asserted, With some
sao" OF tFuth, hat the notorious jesse James
spent last night iu this city. stopping at hotel,
a !ady WIN knows him says that she mot him
sals afternoon and talked with him. lie said that
10 a2a visited tho jail and strolIed about tue
, 1880-04-17
RESIGNATION AND APPOINTMENT,

SRftdl I9pd1tH 10 TIE Lh1tdQ0 7fI5hhE.
ADRIAN, Mich, April fa-ThiA morning tho
1Tun. Fernando r.. tlenmDn rendered finy. Crns-
well tts resignation Us Ju'Rr Of tho rrsl,ate for
I.cnnwce Cnunty. bin physical cnndttton at-
snlifc!y requiring rest from nt1ictnl care. The
Governor Inter nppointca tho Hon. Norman
Ucddis toIl tho position for tho unexpired term.
, 1880-04-17

Special ptpaleh to The Chicago Tribune.
LINCOLN, Neb., April l8-Dctween ! and 2
octock this morning two men called at tho house
Of David Dlttcrs, in this city, md m alteration
onsnctl. RIttcrs oJcctod tho mon, and thev fred
st him, shooting him through tho heart. Bittors
and It Is Thought tho men cnmo thero to
sec tho woman. Two men, Denwood and
Duffs. aro under arrcst, but tho evidence boforo
tho Coroncrs jury Is not strong against thnm.
, 1880-04-17

CHEYENNE, W. T., April 10.-Tho five conviots
who esonpcd from tho Wyoming pcn!tentInry
Just week nro now on tho road between Fort
Tettormnn md Hook Greek, stopping coaches.
Their first attempt occurred on tho 14th lust,
when tho south bound coach from Fottcrmun
wns halted, tho passengers robbed Of their arms
and money, and tho four couch horses e., sx-
knights Of tho rnnh wcro very courteous, md
respectful tho 1nn!l-tnKs. Two of tlo horses
tnkon wore hnr1leHsct tI n Hight wagon, md tho
otnor two wern snttdlcd. Tho rond.ngcnts moved
in Il westerly direction.
Tho 1nni!-tlrtyer. who arrived At Nnck Creek,
on tho unlDn pacifc lnst night, repurts having
been atoppcd In tho n.oriling hy Il mnn on ono Of
tho stolen horses. Tho ra,ud-Rgcnts nro we'll
mounted md armed for spring campaign.
, 1880-04-17
RtRGW0RM HUM0R

0fAlx YenFs' Duration Cured by tho Cutlcpra
Mrmtdies.
Messrs. WEEKS 4 roTrEn-SfFa: hayc had
1slngworsn HunUr. got ut tho barbor's, for sfx
years. which sprenlI n!l 0vor my eArs, facc, and
deal hnSu usod many remedies, by nilvlcu 1T
physician. without bonc1t. Your Ctlttcnrn licn-
Of humor Cd my faess. and ieavins It as ] sinooth in
"a n dollar. l thank tyou again for tho help it
has been to mo,
.... GEO, W. BROWN, Mason.
{8 Maruhal-st.. rEoTIdoco, II. l., Nov, 70, l87p.
, 1880-04-17
SENT lIIs,

Sptstdt 0fspdtsA to The Chteaoo Tribune.
LAFAYETTE, Ind., April 16.-Frnnk Shiny,
moro Ind who claims TINT his parents reside at
PlttshurR pa., waa to-day srntoncctl to tho ren-
itcntiary for twolvo months by Judge Vtntott.
Shay was caught stealing lewolry and slyerwnro
though tho 0tfcnso was committed on Tuesday
last, hG Is now uHdor sentence.
, 1880-04-17

Br, JOSEPH, No.. April 16.-As tho Missouri Pa
cifo train, duo hero at y. H.. was approaching
Rushyllto tho engineer discovered an obstruc-
ton In tho shapo Of two. tlca securely Fastened
across tho track. 1Io succeeded In checking bis
engine just III tlme to prevent a SERIOUS accl-
dent. No Glow to tho purpctrator OF tho outraSo,
, 1880-04-17

CINCINNATI, April 1s.AThc Grand Jury In tho
United atates Court this morning fin!shed tho
examination OF tao caso OF ex.Clork Ambrose,
charged With malfoasanGo In ott1oo, They 1oubt-
Try iSss found IN Indictment. l,4t under tho rules,
tukcn, which will be this afternoon.
, 1880-04-17
ATTEMPTS AT TlA1N-WI1ECKING.
SpteiaL Ditpateh to yns CAttaQo Itth4nt.

QUINCY, ILL.,, April l6.-sevornl obstrlcuons
hnTlng latcly hcGn found On tho track Of tho
ChlcnRo. burlington 4; Quincy railroad in this
vicinity, 1t Is hcliovcd TINT certain persons arc
ongngcl In tho work Of VT ccking trims, eithor
for spite Or for plumber. a few nights since tho
cast-boun1 trail, WIS stoppod ut Ctoola, when =
lonso Ito WIS found unor tho pilot, whcro It Ind
hccn dragging niong tho trnck for snmo dis.
tnnco. AS Conductor Dudley cnn,e up from Ham
lllbal ono morning this wook his trntn md mar
row cscnpe, n h1g pile Of tics having been plnccd
IN tho rails Mt Il sllarp curve ncar bInrblehcad.
Fortunately, however, tho t1nngcr was discovered
in time to stop tho trnin within ten feet of tho
obstruction.
, 1880-04-17

. Special Correspondents Of 1hs chteapo Tribune.
FtAnKFoltr, Ind, April D,-WhiIo tho Jallor
WIS opening tho coll.doors ABOUT o'clock last
night, one Of tho mon inside thumpcd him on
tho hontl with n billet Of wood, knocking him
down. THO prisoners thon n,a.lo = rlsh for Ilt,-
key til tho coll from which they had just
Qu3pFGet.
, 1880-04-17

FHEpEn1cKanuna, W., April 16.-Extonslro
forcst-tlros In tho Wildcr,:oss region have dono
serious damage. Tho drought has cat1scd tho ut-
most entire suspension of planting and plowing.
Two or threo persons have boon burned to
death. Tho Losses in Prince George, Dfnwidd!e,
Chcstortlcltl. md Sussex Counties aro worry
great; insurance light
, 1880-04-17

WABH1NaToN, D. G., April l8.-Tho Signal
Corps Station nt Capo Henry, W.. reports, at
11.lbn. M, to tho Chicf stgnnl of1ccr, rs lot-
lows: " Tho ship Anna Morris. Of Windsor, from
nremcn, hound for Baltimore, wont nsl,oro ono
milo north 1t FAlso Cnpe, at $500 a. M; oNiclnl
nutnbor, It, 159; cargo, barrels and salts no IIycs
LOST, will send additional Information as soou ns
0bt1lnDtl."
, 1880-04-17

Special phpatth 70 The Chicago 1rtbnn&,
DELrut, Ind, April 16,-Dy agreement Of at
torneys, tho trial Of jack McBfilRn, charged
with ctmrltclty In tho murder Of John Raymond
jackson, ID Cass County, ts sot for trial hero on
Tho 18th Of noxt month. koynlhan, his accom-.
rltcc, waa tried, and tho denth penalty nfI1et,
at 1.OEansrort, and MeMiljnn's nttorncy8 hnvo
bad bis Caso sent to this, Curroll County.
, 1880-04-17

sntetai Dtspafeh to 7ns chteogo Tttbune.
WATERTowa, Wis, April l6.-Iiarry Monk,
brother Of Postmaster Monk. of this city, wus
run over by two llat-carb in the railroad yard ut
killed. His body will DO taken to HprtuEIlold,
ILL.,, for lnterMDnt.
, 1880-04-17
> MAUD HAMILTON.

= MAUD HAMILTON
New Yonx, April 18.-Saud Hamilton, the
variety actress, who ia wanted In Chicago on
chargc Of larccny, leavca for there this ovenin9
With Detective Isyan, who arrived horo this
mosnlnG: Tho unhappy blonde has been quito
sick. and relatives ln Jersey City have boon
C4t1uH for her.
, 1880-04-17
OBITUARY,

6Rc&al DtspoteA to IA4 Ch(ea0o 1F1b9n&.
LAFAYETTE, Ind. April M.--AAron T. Claapilt,
ono Of the early settlors of TIppocanoa County,
and ono Of lts most respected and honoscd cit!-
zoIla, dIoi yesterday. Ito was born In brown
County, Ohio. Aug. ]. lSa9, aud camo to this
county Ia 1Hs8+
, 1880-04-17
CUT!cURA REMEDIES,

Prepared by WkkKA T. porTEn, Cho1uists md
nruggtste, 400 Westinghouse, Uostun, blaHs., II
Front-st. ToFont1, Unt,. &nd dnow i'm, It7l,.
trico Of CuT!cuRA. small boxes, 50 cents; largo
boxes, ontalning two nna one- half tl1nos tic
1uant!ty Of small. II. ttkss,LyENT, 9l por bot
nor cako. CJTlcuhA MEDICINAL BMAYiN6 BOAR,
ID cents per cako; in bars for BARRIERS and laraS
cUnButuGF2. 60 cDnta ~"
, 1880-04-17

In nothing shotlld one he more carc-
fni than IN tho selection of cosmetics. J. & Z,
n:k'ns1nn ess nI niilk af White nofss wh!lo harm.
most cffectIyO.
, 1880-04-17

Iron In the Blood. Co1densa LfebFr.n
Liquid E1trnot OF Dcof onrtchcs tho bloo{l, rl,s
digestion, cttres dyapepsia, nervousness, dollIl-
ty, and femalo complaints.
, 1880-04-17


MiNNEAro1.1s, Mtnn., April 18.-WhIlo freight
tsn'n OH tho minneapolis Eastern Ilailroad was
rounding cnrvn within tho city lmlts this
morning three oars jumped tho track md uero
rrccpltatod Into tho Mississippi. Hurry Monk,
ynrdMNHter OF tho FOntl. WIS cnuGht uHdcr tho
cars and crushed 10 that ho died soDu utter,
, 1880-04-17

1tEr0RTED EXPLOSION.
BAN FRANCISCO, April l6.-1t Is reported that
tho Rtaht-powdcr works Mt West I3ertoly blow
up tAts evening. No particulars Rro received.
, 1880-04-17

Trarciers, stop 1t ths,A'tor rou*e. Nom York.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-23
The Fate of the Apostles.

A LII THE Apostles were assaults by
n the enemies of their Master They
were called to seal their doctrines with
their blood, and nobly did they bear the
trial. Schumacher says:
"St. Matthew suffered martyrdom by
being slain with sword at q distant
city of Ethiopia.
ST.. Mark expired at Alexandria, after
having been cruelty dragged through
the streets of that city.
st. Luke was hanged upon an olive
tree in the classic land of Greece.
st. John was put in cauldron of boil
ing oil, but escaped death in miracul-
GUS manner and was afterward banished
to Patmos.
st. Peter was crucified at Rome with
his head downwards.
ST. James, the Greater, was beheaded
at Jerusalem.
st. James, the Less, was thrown from
lofty pinnacle of the Temple, and then
beaten to death with fuller's club.
st. Bartholomew was flayed alive.
st. Andrew was bound to cross
whence he preached to his pc rsecutors
until he died.
st. Thomas was run through the body
with lance at Coromandel, in the East
Indies.
st. Jude was shot to death with ar
rows.
st. Matthias was first stoned and then
beheaded.
st. Barnabas, of the Gentiles, was
stoned to death by the Jews, at Salonica.
st. Paul, after various tortures and
prosecutions was at length beheaded at
Rome by the Emperor Nero"
Such was the fate of the Apostles,
according to traditional statements; and
though we cannot authenticate them
all, we at least know that the hatred of
the world to these men and their teach
ings was sufficient to render the accounts
not very improbable.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-23
NO. 49,

miserabby, shifting from one thing to,
another, till'the grave or the poor-house
gives them a fast grip. But while occa-
sionally man fails in life because he is
not in the place fitted for his peculiar
talents, it happens ten times oftener
that failure results from neglect and
even contempt of an honest business,
A man should put his heart into every
thing that he does. There is not a
profession that has not its peculiar cares
and vexations. No man will escape
annoyance by changing business. No
mechanical business is altogether agree
able. Commerce, in its endless varieties,
is affected like all other human pursuits,
with trials, unwelcome duties, and
spirit tiring necessities. 1t is the very
wantonness of folly for man to search
out the frets and burdens of his calling,
and give his mind every day to con-
sideration of them. They belong to
human life. They are inevitable. Brood
ing, them, only gives them strength.
On the other hand, man has power
given to him to shed beauty and pleas
ure upon the homeliest toll, if he is wise.
Let man adopt his business and iden-
tify 1t with his life, and cover it with
pleasant associations for God has given
us imaginations not alone to make some
poets, but to enable all men to beautify
homely things. Heart-varnish will
cover up innumerable evils and defects.
Look at the good things. Except your
lot as man does a piece of rugged
ground, and begin to get out the rocks
and roots, to deepen the mellow soil, to
enrich and plant it. There is something
in the most forbidding avocation around
which man may twine pleasant fan
cies-out of which he may develop an
honest pride.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-23

hand,all eramped up, was on the quilt in
plain sight. and he had his face screwed
up until the lonesome look ought to
have melted heart of stone.
There don't he look like fool ~
whispered the mother.
C He may be one, but it won't do any
harm SO let the patrol take him into our
outposts," 2" answered the son, and both
descended the stairs.
Dan must get out of that. Not by
way of the window, but down stairs and
out Of the front door. The patrol could
not be far off; he had no time to spare.
Hastily resuming his garments, he
softly descended the stair. While wait
ing at the door he heard the son go out,
and after two OF three minutes he softly
opened the door
No one was in the room. Tiptoeing
across it, he opened the front door and
stepped, out but only to stand face to face
with the son, a young man of about 20
and ofgOod muscular development. For
what seemed to be long minute they
looked into each others face. Then the
Confederate said:
"Throw up your hands, mister Yank
the game is upl"
81 just come to bid you good night, -
coolly answered Dan, and he made q
rush.
The Confederate did not follow, be-
cause he realized that Dan was running
directly for the approaching patrol. He
was under full headway when he met
them, or saw that he was going to run
into them, and swerved aside.
"Shoot the Yankee! kill himl kill
him!" shouted the Confederate at the
house, and the patrol opened fire in re-
sponse.
Dan was not over 80 feet away, and
the gloom of the night saved him from
being riddled. One bullet struck him in
the left arm, just below the elbow, in
fiicting painful wound, but the others
went wild and he soon distanced pur-
suit. Dan did not get into Centreville
that time.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-23
A DutChman's Views.

WELL, if dat ain'd de blaimdest goun.
Y try vat ever vas; de fellers dat lifes
in dis country, dey tink a Dietcherman
don't got some sense, dey ask de fool
ishest questions efer seen. Ven goes
down to my work de oder tay mine boss
he says to me, " Hans, dis vos Won very
vet mornin'." Now, don'd know dot
vas Won vet mornin He thinks 1 don'd
know if it rain or schnow. Don'd I
walk NIT dot rain ? Couldn't tole if it
vas vet
Den, de next too, he says, " Hans, dis
vas Won very hot tay." Now, if dot
wasn't de biggest fool question L efer
heard. Wasn't vorkin' met de hot sun
all tay, and he vas valkin' around, his
hande NIT his pockets, und sayin',
Hurry, up, poys, hurry up, poys,"
und den he says, I" Hans, it was hot"
don'd answer dot foolish question at
all. If he don't got some sense nit his
questions don'd answer, dots watts de
matter. goes oud to schovel de schnow
NIT mine sidewalk off, and efry feller
vot comes along, he say, Hans, dot
vas goot pisness for you" Pretty soon
gifts mad, und say, if some of you
fellers don'd got some sense NIT your
questions you peter mind mine own
pisness." Efery feller tink Deitcher-
man is a fooler.
goes down NIT a shoe store to puy
myself pair of poots. "Vell," say,
"Mister, dot poot vas too pig" Den he
sticks his face up nit mine, und he says,
Hans, dot poot schrink awful; you
gifts dot poot some schmailer as dot, you
could no wear um." L dries on some
more poots, und den say, boo poot
is too schmall." Deh he gifts oxcited,
und he lay his hand NIT mine shoulder
on, und he vispers NIT mine ear, und he
say, !" Hans, 1 tole you dot poot stretch
fearful. You gifts dot poot some pigger
as dot, pet you five hundred tollar you
no keep um on your feets."
Veil, take UNI. De next tay no cit
um on. / takes um back, und he say,
Hans, you must know your own pis-
ness" Veil, L thinks know mine own
plsness in some shoe stores after dot.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-23
PLAYING THE FOOL.

ONE of the most singular men 1 ever
" met was a private soldier in the
Twelfth New York Infantry, which
regiment was brigaded with the Second
and Third Michigan and Second Massa-
chusetts, during the first year or so Of
the war. Seen at one time you would
say that Dan Harrison had blue eyes.
Five minutes after you would make
an oath they were black, as indeed they
were.
Dan also had wonderful control over
his voice. He could mimic the voice of
any man in the brigade. He could bark
like dog, bray like mule, whistle like
bird, and was the wonder of the camp.
On one occasion our wagon master was
asleep in the wagon, with six mules
roped near by. Dan crept behind a
bale of hay and brayed loud and long.
The wagon master awoke and jumped
down and pounded the nearest mule,
growing out as he re-entered the wag-
on:
There, blast ye, guess you will feel
humble for while"
In about two minutes Dan repeated
the words. The voice was so exactly
the same that dozen of us, who were
hiding near by thought it was the wagon
master again. The latter individual
stuck his head out, looked around in
great surprise and then said:
swell, it took that echo long time
to get around this wagon"
There were yet other reasons why Dan
was considered greater than manag-
erie. He could drop one shoulder three