The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-08-05
ITEMS OF INTEREST

Dead issues-Old newspapers.
A man over-bored The editor.
Every tramp carries roamin' nose.
A growing business-The gardeners.
Rome Sentinel.
The volunteer force of England now
numbers 100000 men.
Early to bed and early to rise
Is the best way to escape the flies.
Two-thirds of the worlds trouble lies
between an extinguished light and the
edge Of the bed.
There are about $4,000 distinct char
liable foundations in London in connec-
tion with the city parishes.
Never look down upon a man be-
cause of his occupation. The collector
of kitchen refuse may be an offal nice
man.
"The old home amt what it used to
be-" as the old man said when
cyclone struck his domicile.-Reobab
Gate City.
"That sermon did me good" said one
friend to another after hearing an elo-
quent preacher. "We shall see," was
the reply.
Just bear this maxim in your mind,
and before you get very mad; It's easy
enough to spark girl, but hard to
spark her dad.
81 called twice and found you out"
said Mrs. Jones. Very good" said
Mrs. Smith, - had to call but once to
find you out"
A New York girl swan two miles in
thirty-one minutes, but while she was
doing it, however, she had to kick out
like a man.
Tanners fast established one great
fact, viz: That man, even the poor
est can get along in the world without
free lunch.
A man at Augusta, Ga, on receiving
doctors bill for medicine and visits,
wrote that he would pay for the medi-
cine and return the visits.
"Have animals a sense of humorp"
asks Evelyne. They have, and there's
lots of it in mules hind leg for the
fellow who contracts to pick it up.-
| OWfgo Record.
A man in Bellefontaine, Ohio,
thought that certain illusions in SER
mon by the Rev. A. III. Windsor were
personal, and after the services he
| knocked the preacher down with
club.
Sabethia is Kansas village with
| CeHeteIy. luSIc lS ~ sign pdluleu Oh
| the fence opposite the cemetery, reading:
"To keep out of that place across the
| road, get your medicine at the corner
drug store"
| They were at a dinner party, and he
remarked that he supposed she was
| fond Of ethnology. She said she was,
but she was not very well, and the doc
| tor had told her not to eat anything for
| dessert but oranges.
| Leadville, Col, from an uninhabited
spot, has become a city of 40, 600 inhabi-
| tants in less than three years, and has
| produced in bullion from January /,
| 1879, to April /, l680-filteen months
| Sl6 li7,l ,l3l, or over $l,000,000 per
month.
The California magnateS are credited
| with an amount of wealth which would
| comfortably support q small country.
| Mr.. Charles Crocker is stated to be
worth $3i, ,495, ASS, Mr.. Leland Stanford
1884, 6i3, 1908, and Mrs. Mary F. S. Hop
kins $25, 5,280,972.
We notice that ice at one cent pourd
shows the same tendency to melt that it
used to when it was only twenty-five
cents a hundred; and the children who
follow the ice carts rarely get big
enough waste piece to make respecta-
bic suck.-Ne,0 HUE Register.
An exchange informs us that "a
| Chinese soldier has au ear cut off each
time he deserts and is T. captured" In
case he deserts Il dozen times. the mill
tary authorities are going to have some
trouble to infict the punishmentin in each
case. Very few Chinese soldiers are
born with twelve ears, and we don't
| suppose he could borrow few auricu-
lar appendages from a comrade for such
d purpose.
| tender young potato bug
| Sat swinging on a vine,
And sighed unto a maiden bug,
pray you will be mine"
Then softly spake the mai len bug,
! " love you fond and true,
| But Oh! my cruel-hearted par
| Won't let me marry you"
With scorn upon his buggy brow,
| With glances CO d and Keen,
That naughty lover answered her,
al think your paris green"
You may often make a man mad by
telling him to do the very thing he
wants to do. For instance, when IN IN
has lost all patience under the heat,
don't, as you value your lie, tell him to
keep cool; when a man is putting up
a stovepipe, or is trying to, rather, do
not tell him to join the lengths fright
there" when a man has slipped down
on the sidewalk, count a hundred, and
forget your purpose in the fiities, before
/ you tell him to get up.-Fo'ad du Lac
Reporter.
At the Panoptikon of Dresden there
is on exhibition curious piece of me-
. chanism, entitled SECT Up" Over a
bed is dial. the index of which is set
} over night to the hour at which the
7 sleeper wishes to arise in the morning
= which, when it reaches the bed, as 9
. mild preliminary to more decisive ac.
tion, lights powerful lamp, go placed
5 as to cast its rays directly on the slug
s gard Should this gentle hint fail, fiy'
. minutes later the bed Sutomaiicall,
1 falls assunder. causing its sleepy oecu
I pant to laIse to the floor with fore