West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1880-03-13
A Municipal Nosegay.

royal visit was promised TO Mistbo-
rough, and when the notification TO that
effect reached the mayor, he summoned the
town council to deliberate IN the usual way
on the sort of festivities that should be pro-
videl. The occasion of the royal visit was
To he the unveiling of a statue erected to
Alderman Nobuddy, departed worthy of
the town, and the council soon agreed to
furnish a banquet, "A procession with volun-
teer bands, an address, on Illuminated vel
lum, and some speeches. Then came the
question of gifts. A large album full OF
Photographic views of Mistborough seemed
the most appropriate present; and Of
course, there would have to be a bouquet.
But who should tender this last offeringl
Mr.. Mayor Wheeker happened TO be the
only unmarried member of the corporation,
wherefore Alderman Gabbs, who was a
facetious fellow and the father of three
buxom daughters, said jestingly: II vote
that Wheeker be appointed to select the
prettiest girl in Mistborough, and she shall
give the bookey."
81 don't see what prettiest has to do with
such mattcr,' demonstrated Alderman
Scrufile, virtuous but morose person, who
was the father of four plain virgins.
"Well, Wheeker shall select the ugliest
girl in the town then," said the funny
Alderman Gabbs, and he winked, laughing
at all his brother councillors, one of whom
suggested, however, that his worship's
choice be not limited to damsels. LET
us give Wheeker carte blanche" " said he
'if he pitches upon pretty or an ugly
married woman, rather than upon girl let
him have his own way. He is u fine judge
of the sex, is Wheeker."
"What makes you think that, Puttison?"
asked the Mayor mildly, for he was pla-
cid sort of a man, who had no very keen
eye for jokes.
"Why, because you've remained single,
responded Puttisou, amid general merri-
ment.
''Oh, but they say, Wheeker is a bit
sweet on the young woman who sits behind
the counter at Jamme's the pastry cooks"
replied Alderman Gabbs with new wink.
whats her name, Wheeker2 Out with
it she's too pretty to be ashamed Of"
81 really don't know what you mean" {"
said poor Wheeker, reddenlng up to the
ridge of his ears.
''Oh, we mean Daisy Belfast, who mods
to you every time YOU pass up High street, )"
said PuttisOn greatly enjoying the mayors
discontinue. "Why Wheeker, I've seen
you eating bath-buns at Jamme's shop at
least three fbnes within the past week, and
we know you cant bear pastry, for you
never eat any when you dine with one of
u.s."
Unfortunately for Mr. Wheeker, il soon
got to be known IN the town that he had
been deputed TO act as an arbiter pulchera-
rum and many ladies, both single and
married, began to pay their courts TO him
with view TO being selected for presenting
the bouquet. Mr.. Wheeker soon began to
think that il would be more prudent 10
offer twenty nosegays TO the Royal Princess
instead of one, in order that nobody might
be offended but his opinion was not
shared by the town council. The mayor
was exhorted with pertinacity, half f-se-
rious, half-comical, to do his duty in choos-
ing the fittest and he failed to get any as
sistance from his brother councillors, for
each of them, being married, felt some de-
licacy IN recommending "a lady from inside
his family circle OF outside Of it.
There was another roar at this, and Mr..
Wheeker looked as guilty as a tom-cat who
had been caught near cream jug. But,
in sum, this mayor was such good fell
low that his brethren were 10th TO press
their jokes too hard on him. Every man,
except the morose Scrufile, slapped him ON
the back in passing out, and babe him do
his best in selecting a young 'ady who
should do honor TO Mistborough Mr.
Wheeker groaned Inwardly, for nc much
dislikcd this task, which laid upon him q
larger responsibility than he ever cared
to assume spontaneously in his public or
private relations. If ne could have fur
lively voted as 10 who was the lOveliest re-
preventative Of girlhOod in Mistborough, he
would certainly have given his suffrage TO
Miss Daisy Belfast but after this unseemly
jesting about the girl he did not dare. Be
sides, Mr.. Wheeker had not yet made up
his mind as TO whether he would care to
marry Miss Belfast, and he was also by no
means sure Of that young lady's sentiments
towards himself
Ia the midst Of these perplexities Mr..
Wheeker was one sunday accostcd, as he
was coming out Of church, by Mrs. Bul-
berry, the comely wife Of Colonel Burberry.
retired military Tartar This lady was
just past the prime of life-say thirty-five
and very vivacious. and the more eager
to assert herfascinations, as her looking glass
told her they were ON the wane Rustling
through the porch, whore Mr.. Wheekcr
was striding In his scarlet robe, and preccd-
ed by his mace bearer (for the mayor used
10 go TO church in state on the first Sunday
Of each month"; Mrs. Burberry said, with
smile which showed all her pretty teeth
"Well, Mr. Mayor, have You chosen your
Queen Of Beauty yet -
III almost think I see her before me -
answered Mr.. Wheeker, stammering a
clumsy compliment 10 Mrs. Burberry, with