Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1880-04-04
A HUGGING ACADEMY.
The Ambiti0us Conductor
------ Ideas.

|
san FrancIseo Post tlYg.
~ say 4, inquired one of the blonde oon.
l ductors on The California street road a 4
Post attsche stepped on his car the other
| day, what would you fellows charge for a
nice display ad. of a new enterprisef'
He was informed, and the nature of the
business asked. =, - 80
We'll, you ses.'' said the conductor
bending over the dummy seat and sinking
his voice to o confidential whisper, you
see 4 We bout made up nv mind to omen A
hugging school after hours.p -, =
| IA what" inquired the Journalist,
| why, an acao envy devoted to the beau
tiful art of manual construction. as 10
were."
Indeed" said the passenger, much
amazed. .U - ~
Yes, sir; there are Professors to teach
all kinds of polite accom- plishments. Why
not huggingP Real, good, scientific hug
ging is one of the fine arts, my dear sir.h
| us, eh?n 80,
Eyes. sir. Now, why are conductors, as
| q rule, 80 much more successful with the
fair sex than other men2 Why is it, in
! fact, that they make more 'msshes' than
their fellowmen?" ~
| "Duuno."U2 .'' t.
| Why, simply on account of the manner
in which they he p lady on and off car.
| It's the way the goods are handled, as
| drummer would say. A conductor who
really throws his whole soul into his bust
| ness can get more real square-toed, self
| satisfying huggiDg out of lady's waist,
between the lower car step and the seat,
than the most ardent lover can in a dozen
picnics. Now, how do we manage it eh?'
Comes natural, mebbe," hszzsrded the
pencil parer. r..I
No, sir. It's the result of practice, and
It seems to me that a school where
the real, scientific thing was taught would
not only mark step forward in civilian
ton, but be regarded as a benefcent and
laborsaving institution"
"Laborsavingfh a.
Yes, labor and gas-saving, too. A
welltrained hugger ought to shorten the
ordinary courtship of commerce about six
months. Nothing like it, l assure you"
How does your method differ from
"From the common oneY All that's ivst
it-that's my secret. You couldn't expect
| me to give away tho business - for nothing
now could you? But, however. I'll
show you an illustration You see that
lady waiting on the crossing7 Looks a
little cross, don't she? Tough CUSTOMER
that, eh2" - -
well, yes-rsther," said the newspaper
man, critically observing mIddleaged
lady with toy terrier in her arms, who
was preparing to get on. AS she did SO,
the conductor urbsnely passed one hand
behind the lady. and gently inserted two
fingers of the left hand into her armpit or
thereabout, At this juncturo, however the
researches of science were curtailed by the
female bridling up and dealing the sur
prised official sharp tlow over the head
with her parasol, after which she indig-
nantly left the platform again.
"Hum-thatw was hardly success" said
the jout nalst '. SD. ....'-- 4
"Well-er-no. Very singular-very-
don't often act that way. Must-of bore
on too hard-boil under the arm-er some.
thing And the conductor shook his
bead thoughtfully, as he smooihed the
dent in his cap. r- .r... ~.
The construction academy hadn't opened
at latest dates.