Morning journal and courier., 1880-02-17
MUST BE ENDUR ED.
He who Mrs. to take a kiss,
 Has MT. thing hs should not

-Acta Columbiana.
 Stand by your friends, and never go back on an icy sidewalk.
 A pantomime called ''Tha Yellow Dog and the Little Tin Kettle" would have good run. IN. O. Picayune.
 The young man who told a girl she seemed to him over sixteen, didn't mend matters by saying he meant she was over shoe of that number.-Boston Post.
 There are 42, 900 different kinds of weeds in the United States, and yet the price of cigars remain such that the men are com pelled to practice the greatest self denial Con their wives) in order to be able to smoke them.-Louisville Courier Journal.
 'tDid you ever hear the alphabetical conun- drum, Angelina p 'tNo, Augustus; what is it 2'' It is, when will there be only twenty five letters in the alphabet?" "Oh, never could guess that" "Its when U and are made one, my darling" What a nice con undrum it is, Augustus2"
 The author of the new song, ''My Home is on the Tossing Sea-" has lived, ever since he was born, at Fort Riley, Kansas, 1900 miles from salt water, and he confessed, in 8 mo ment of rash confidence, to a newspaper re- porter, that it makes him sea sick to sit in 8 rocking chair.-Hawkeye.
 newspaper punster wrote the other day :: 'tPekin, H., has big sulphur well. Enough to make Pekin ill" But the intelligent com positor, in whose mind abbreviations are an abomination, Set it up 'fPekin, Illinois, has big sulphur we'll Enough to make Pe- kin, Illinois. ."-Wheeling Register.
 There is story told of blunt old sea cap tain who was noted for his extreme personal plainness. Being present at 8 party, he had taken no part in the dance, as his hostess had some difficulty in providing him with part ner. At last she led up to him prim and aged spinster, at the same time whispering 8 few words of apology in his ear. "Oh, you needn't make any apology, madam" said he with alacrity. ''Any old thing is good enough for me-"
 'sNo dis club nebber hez any debates" re- piled Brother Gardner. 'I used to incourage sich fings, an dar was time when I felt myself power in de land on debate. But I libed to see de evil effecks. diskivered dat if de ole woman wanted an armfull of wood I wanted to stop fur half an hour an argy the matter. If wanted 8 clan shirt she had fif- teen different reasons why de hull pile war in de wash. Members of de society squatted in grocery stores an made themselves believe dey were at work an airnin' SS2 day, an two of dem would stop on de street an argy fur half day ober de query: Which am de greatest benefactor, de elefant or de whale ? I fink we am doin well huff as it am, an we will leave debates to outsiders Detroit Free Press.
 The following story is told by correspond ent of the Cincinnati Enquirer, the hero be- ing well known Kentuckian
 notice that Judge John Rice has been fig uring in the papers of late, and am reminded of story current concerning him and the late war. He was very violent secessionist, and in a speech urging secession said: "Why, - the Yankees! If they shew fight, we can whip them with popgunsi'
 The Yankees did show fight, and with what result is well known. A short time after the war Judge Rice was making 8 speech at the same crossroads where he had made his boast ing speech before the war. One of the audi ence asked him if he was not the same Judge Rice that spoke there in 1860.
 1T am, he replied.
 "Well, didn't you say that we could whip the Yankees with pop guns?"
 sT did, and we could have done it; but - lem, they wouldn't fight us that way!''