The Portland daily press., 1880-07-17
TERMS $500 PER ANNUM, IN ADVANCE.

sharp. Press your finger ON the end of it, See?
round button; it does not hurt. Oh, no.
and before the campaign is over we will see
if we cannot find velvet button to put on
which will be much softer. Kill anybody
with bayonet? What nonsense do you talk.
Could you frighten man away from the polls
with a smooth button on the end Of curtain
rod? Well, that is all a bayonet is You new
er saw bayonet, did you? No? Come up then
and look at this one. This is a United States
regulation bayonet of the Cincinnati pattern
Ask General Butler, the Hamburg assassin
or no, he won't know; the knife is his weapon
although he did help TO fashion the bayonet
at Cincinnati, but ask General Wade Hamp-
ton. He helped to make this one also. Yes,
the general says, this is a real bayonet. Hurt
anybody with that? Pshaw, fearful Democrat
give it to your children to play with Tell
your wife to pull off the button and toast bread
on IT. Stick it in the ground-if you are
Georgia Democrat very likely that is the kind
OF floor you have in your house-and it will
make good candle stick
So that is the end of the bayOnet During the
paSt'twenty years the Democratic party lived
under its baleful shadow. Death glittered ON
its hateful and pitiless point. Blood, the
blood OF Democrats, slaughtered Democrats,
Vicksburg and Gettysburg, OH no. the orators
OF the party always felt little sensitive about
referring to the Democrats who, ior the best of
reasons were rightfully punched full OF holes
at those places but at all other places, at all
times at their meals, at their places of busi-
ness, in workshop and office, in bed, behind
the wash tub, in the cradle, in the bath-no,
we mistake; never in the bath; but in the sa-
loon, behind the door, at the altar, in church,
everywhere, hour by hour, the ruthless, pitt
less. aWful SlauQbtpr or the .narailaac
bayonet making colanders out of Democrats of
all ages, sexes, and previous conditions Of ser
vitudes. Plunge, plunge, plunge; in high
tierce, parry-thrust, and develop! Hour af-
ter hour, and sixty times minute, and every
time the bayonet lunged a Democrat was dead
The Democratic party taught us this. On the
stump on the platform, from occasional
only occasional and very rare occasional,
thank heaven--pulpits, through their news
papers, they talked this precious stuff. This
whole country reeled to and fro like a drunk
en- man, the republic trembled in the awful
throes Of destruction, anarchy blotted out the
sun; Imperialism drew the stars from the bend
ing heavens, the ground was torn up, and
there was blood on the moon, every time a
green country boy nineteen years old ran away
from the farm, and enlisting in the regular
army, was ordered to report for duty to Gen
eral winfield 5. Hancock, regular army Off
Ger in command OF whole arsenal of bayo-
nets and at present the commanding officer of
the Democratic party.
But now the slaughter ceases.j The murders
come to full stop. A convention of wise
men, many, indeed the great, and in fact,
the unanimous majority of whom have time
and again seen the country destroyed and its
sons murdered, and its daughters dragged into
slavery, yes, and have even themselves been .
ruthlessly murdered by these bayonets, recent
ly met in Cincinnati to investigate this matter
more closely, and declared the bayonet harm
less. Not only is it innocuous, but il is bene-
hclal 1t is good to take. So they took some
OF it. They appear to like it. 1t may be that
they dissemble, but at any rate they affect to
like it, and they call for more. 1t was mis-
take, they say, about the perils of bayonet
rule. 1t is not dangerous. Really, the coun-
try properly belongs to the regular army Give
1t to General hancock. He never killed
Surratt once with a.rope. But that wasn't
Dayonet. A hangman Is really much more
acceptable and appropriate candidate for the
Democratic party than soldier. And then,
besides, Mrs. Surratt was woman, and that
doesn't count. She had no vote anyhow, and
wouldn't have to-day, even had she not been
hanged. Hurrah for the bayonet 1t is the
only harmless thing yet. There is danger to a
democrat in the rope. All, yes; every now
aud then the rope catches good Democrat
who was never caught within five hundred
miles OF bayonet. Cross the bayonets on the
Democratic shield; 1t is the new coat of arms
OF the party that suffered more under "bayonet
rule. than the Jews ever suffered in the sieges
OF Jerusalem. Bring out the bayonets in sill
yer, good artist, that they may symbolic the
Ohio 'idee" and the ninety-two cent dollar;
raise them on gold ack-ground, that when
the loyal Democrat sees it he shall straightway
think on poor, dear, forgotten Uncle Sammys
bari" and straightway yell fraud" and
then wonder what he means by it; twist them
a hempen loop with long knot Just above the
crossed bayonets for coronet, and then paint
for the motto, paint-any good Democrat in
the audience; don't all speak at once, now
what the mischief shall he paint for motto
on such a coat of arms?