The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-03-18
A FAILURE o FlusTIcE.
A Tale or n New England Magistrate vgho
Wan Very Fresh Indeed.

Wan Very Fresh Indeed.
have always, I hope, entertained
due respect for the powers that be, but
never fully appreciated the position
of those powers till / became one of
them mvself, by being " made Magis-
trate" for Middlesex.- Such was the
common phrase by which the thought
less throng described my accession to
that dignity, but I need scarcely say
that the correct description OF it is
that was put in the Commission of the
Peace. 1t is only men of war that are
put into commission" on the water,
but on land it is different. In ancient
boroughs and other places where fine
old English customs still survive, PER
sons who are thus exalted even have a
sword girt on them by the corporation
or other important body, kneeling, but
no such ceremony now ordinarily takes
place. According to modern practice
the Lord Lieutenant of the county
(after much mature thought, and per-
haps prayer) selects the most honorable
and fitting persons for this post and
then appoints them by letter. In this
simplicity there is perhaps as much sig
ni6cance-for those who can see below
the surfaces in the more ancient
forms of investiture.
To all outward appearance I was the
same man as was the day before my
elevation; but ah.. the difference to
mep In my inmost heart felt myself
custos fotulorua, which is not a thing
to be met with every day, let me tell you
nor every other day. / did not quite
know what it meant myself, but-like
professor of metaphysics-I was quite
prepared to let other people know.
caused cockades to be attached to
the hats of my men-servants, so large
that, in the case of the page, some said
it looked as if the page was attached to
the cockade, which, sentimentally speak
ing, he certainly was rot, since he COM
planned to my wife of its making him an
object of ridieule. l sent for him to nv
study and harangued him-as If from
the bench-in very satisfactory and
te:lirg manner, dismissing him after
three-quarters of an hour :" without a
stain upon his character but in floods
of tears. found the phrase (an original
one, I fiatter myself), "I do not seek.
unhappy lad, to add to the poignancy of
your position" exceedingly eficacious.
It was my first intention, in order to
read st Burns Justice from title page to
closing line; but after six attempts-fve
of which resulted in slumber and the
last one SO deep and stertorous that it
resembled an apoplectic seizure-I gave
that up and fell back upon the police re-
ports, where, after all, one gets the es-
sentials. l found it good practice, SO
far as department was concerned, to adj
fn l.
street, beginning, Look here, my man,
am Magistrate and ending with a
quotation from the fourth section of the
10th act of Victoria. Before l had done
they generally packed up their traps,
something about irasensato-which, sup
pose, is the Italian mode of expressing
penitence-moved off pretty quickly.
ing what certain envious people (who
have no more chance of becoming JUS
tices of the Peace than Members Of
P4rliament) may chance to say--from
being busybody, but / confess that l
rather desired an opportunity of dis
pensing justice, not collectively, as it
were, upon the bench (where the indi-
vidual is merged into the majority, or,
what is almost as bad, in the minority J,
but in my own proper person, and at last
that opportunity came. 1t happened,
too, in the company of my nephew
John from Eton, which was all the more
agreeable to me, as the boy was inclined
to be frivolous and needed perhaps to
have impressed upon him due rever-
enee and respect for the high Office into
which had been inducted.
We had been dining out at Christmas
time with another uncle Of his in the
Northeastern district of London, and
had been detained by the various
amusements connected with that festive
season-charades, snap-dragon, forfeits,
and gin punch-till late hour. 1t was
bitterly cold and snowy night. There
was no cab-stand near the house and we
had started home on foot, with the in
tention of picking up the first four.
wheeler-my nephew called it a
growler, - though it is nowhere so de.
scribed in the Active could meet with.
At 1910 we found one standing at the
door Of public house, which at that
hour ought, of course, to have beer
closed, and to have harbored neither
: cahman nor any other customer. With
the cunning peculiar to those who
habitually defy the law, the landlord
had put out the lights in the house, bu1
with the shortsightedness peculiar tc
crime, he had forgotten that the pres
ence OF the empty cab outside betrayed
his transgression. Here, john said /
" is clear case of breach of Cap. 4
section 8, and you shall see how a mag
istrate deals with it." Perhaps it wa
not only the sense of duty which wa,
actuating me. | was cold and tired anC
quite resolved upon getting that cab t,
go home in.
"All right. UNCLE" replied John, duti
fully enough, but he added somethin,
xhich Sounded like 8. Haro,a Ia-l y e