The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1880-07-09
WATTS AND WHlMs.


THE hotel keeper lives on his mn
come.
TEN cents won't make . mill between
pugilists.
Two heads arc better than one, butnot
on the same pin.
THEbattles Of tho union fight between
husband and wife.
Dm anybody ever see little ''pig
lead" ont by the carp
DoEs not farmer become cannibal
when he eats his own kine2
SINCE the foot produces ache-corns,
what kind Of fruit will the negro.
THE addage must be changed. Bread
always falls oleomargarine.side down.
l,IAN can not add one cubit to his own
stature, but he can make horse stall.
PLEASE pass tho butter, as the man
remarked when he sent his goat by rail.
AN apple threw the first man. Since
then it has sort O. let the business out TO
the banana
MEN with deaf and dumb wives possess
some advantage over their more unfortu-
nate brothers.
"THIs farm for sale, subject 10 mort
cages and cyclones is the way they now
hang out signs in the Southwest.
IF tho Government wishes to keep
colored cadets out of trouble, it should
plant watermelon patches at West Point.
AN Ithica man lost his wife and a yeI-
low dog by one stroke Of lightning, and
he tried for half day to revive the
dog.
The Japs study political economy All,
yes; we know what that ia. Five dollars
directly to the voter is worth $25 spent
on fireworks.
Twochurch socials at Topeka, Kansas,
led to fivedivorces, one violent death and
several fights. Seems to be good place
Topeka quarrel.
Two French Senators meet: 81 have
| Just come from the Senate. The sitting
lasted three hours" "What passed."
'"Three hours.
JAMES Fl. GALLUP and Emma Canter
were married at Grand Rapids q few days
ago. Give 'em time and they'll make a
spanking team.
A YOUNG Darwinian: Jack to his mar
ried sister," Hi Polly Look !!
Here's your baby trying to walk on its
bind legs III"
"PhANT no flowers on my grave when
/ am dead" she said. They didn't, but
sun flower came up Of its own accord.
Wasn't she foolish?
In the midst Of life some men do all
the evil they can, and when they die the
papers tell lies about them at the rate Of
fifty cents per line.
WRINKLES are not always the sign of
age. Look at the calf's neck. Or at
corrugated stove-pipe elbow Or at
badly ironed shirt bosom.
APoTHECARY-" You want this pre-
seription filed, sir, understand" Pat
rick" "Divil a bit Of it, surrl 1t is the
bottle / wud have filed.
IT is only the female mosquito that
bites, but when q man gets chance to
belt one with towel, he's going to do it
without stopping to inquire its gender.
RALPH WAnDo EaIERsoN keeps two
COWS and miIlSs them himself Some Of
his brightest thoughts have come TO him
while being kicked half way across the
stable.
WHEN you see man sit down in q
BARRIERS chair, pin the newspaper round
his neck, and begin to read the towel,
you may put him down as absent
minded.
'eWELn, MISTAKES will happen in the
best regulated families, as the old gen
tleman remarked upon hearing that the
tall and slender young man had stolen
his child away.
THE young Englishman, just over, read
to his wife the heading Of medicine adj
vertisement-" Gained eight pounds in
ten days." and remarked, "Hexcellent
wages, that, Mary"
"HousEHonD art decoration is what
takes with my boarders," said Mrs. Gill
dersleeve, as she made bread pudding
and called her eldest daughter down
stairs to paint raisins ON it.
A LINE in Welsh poem reads: "Mi
ganabi chsoi gaau dnlty r,Oyrta Pete. .
We advise Pete to do nothing Of the
kind. 1t would be iniudicious. Norris
tolCn Herald.
A MEDICAL writer asks "Coes posi-
tion affect sleep?" 1t does, particularly
il the man is holding the position Of
night watchman. He is liable to be dis
turbed by the police.