Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1880-08-12

eWhy, my partner, old man Brad, -
he continued, painted KAISER Bittars'
on the .pyramid of Chops. or. whateyer
you call him, and Just after the war
stuck up Buho's LIVER Pills in letters
three feet high around old Fort Sum
ter. You see, got darkey TO take
me ovor from Charleston In one OF those
little boats that they sail down there
closer to the wind than anything ever
saw before. The fort was unoceupied,
except by an old soldier, who showed
me all over the place. Have drink,
corporalP said 10 liini, after 4 while s
No objections, said he, and we walked
and talked a little further Pretty
lonesome here, ch, Sergeantp Very,
indeed, answered the old duck, warm
ing to me rs l hreyetted him grade
higher every two or three minutes.
An said l, it's tough old biz. the
army, amt IL, I4ieutenant@ Faith, an
il Is, upon me hfe,' said he. Well,
brought my flask ont again, and pressed
IL upon him. Now look here, Captain
said /, you don't mind me painting
Sign around the old fort, do youe'
Not q bit, my son; paint as MITCH as ye
Place, he Answered, quite willing
w and away went to work, fh-
ishing the lettering before shutdown
That. little business nearly got me
into trouble; IL raised an awful dust,
and left Charleston in hurry. Nearly
rs bad rs the time when | was painting
tDr. Didler's Elixir of Life on q bee
hive. was walking along the railway
track with my pots and brushes, and
saw the hive. which was In an A No. 1
a.. l. l.
body in the trains stole up TO ii and
shattered on the paint, taking care not
TO make much noise. Buz-z-zl one little
fellow came 10 look at me, then aus
other, end then score OF more all at
once. They didn't seem to obiect--4in
fact, seemed TO admire the richness of
the coioring; but in Singing my leg
over the top Of tho hive Upset my can
of turpentine, and not one bee in the.
crowd would listen to y word Of reason.
| was laid up for q week or, two after
that; but l caH't be quiet long, il amt
in me to he stu; ;4Im AN. out and out
Yankee, and it warns my heart to he
off with the paints land it amt inoum-
bent upon me noy.n
He added this with a complacent and
pregnant glance at his massive watch
chain and jeweled sleeve buttons, which
indicated no little prosperity,
when anybody gets his back up at
me. / just let him blow his steam OF
and then l talk TO him. he continued,
Down in Maryland, one day, was
painting sign on O. fonoe. aud fellow
working in a field near by hollered
out: Hi Get away from that yar
fencep Ilet on not to hear him. You
git, nowr the old man shouted once
more. but dshbed and dabbed away as
ndustricnsly as ever, sYouwon' I, won't
vera said he, and then he came for me
with pitchforki in his hands. Folks
in Maryland are generally pretty much
in earnest when they are mad. but /
didn't move an inch; he,d have liftcd
me like q piece of toast il had, and
instead of toast 1t would have been n
roast for me. looked As mild and
innocent as j could; shaped out the
letters, and held my head back now
and then, as II to study the effect.
Don't you like itE said |, as he got up,
to NEE lWeh, he met me with some.
highly-seasoned eXpostulatons, but,
as | told you. | never interfere with a
man when he's blowing off stoam--it
isn't safe. The pitchfork did not look
salubrious, but held TO my work. and
as ! was finishing it he began to cool
oil, and at the same time TO take an in
terest in the sign. Got q familyp said
/. Yes, said he. Young uDs, too,
may hep Yes said he, again Wen.
now said l, 'ain't you ashamed of
yourself, to let Your temper get the
better Of you in this wayp Think of
the bad effect on the children. But I'll
paint it out NO; leave il on, strang-
er; like il, he answered, and we went
over to the house together, which
proves that, when mans blowing off,
it's best not TO sit on his safety-valYe.
| went up the Mississippi with old Cap
tain Leathers, in the Natchez,' with
her smoke-stacks painted crimson to-
signify that they would be burned reds
hot before she should be passed; and
at the first landing / set TO work on all
the rocks. The old Captain was inn
mensely tickled with the idea. Look
III that darned Yankr be cried 20 the
passengers. How long before yon
start, CapP shouted i. Wen wait
till you got through, he answered, and
he did the same thing at every other
landing, But the newspapers have
made such an outcry against the desc
Grafton of Nature, as they call it, that a
law forbidding II has been passed in
some OF the States, and on the whole
rock-painting is discouraged by our pat,
rons. who think Il spoils thesale Of their
articles. and we are limited TO bill
boards and fences, in which we've got
the prettiest business TO be found, Yea
I'm a KaRkeea and have gone through
life with one mottoi Don't be basil
ful. and never allow yourself 70 be set
down upon By nobody nv. " Ride
lRg. IN BogJbner's Monbsly.
No MAN breaches his sermon well 70