davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27
FACETlR

The Chicago School Board still insists
that married women are not fitted for
school teachers.
Illinois has gone TO making wooden
shoes for her women folks who are trou-
bled with corns.
The Philadelphia Chronicle. Herald
says: "The hod.carrier's is a profession
in which a man is constantly ascending"
That's what beats me-" as the boy
said when he saw his father take the
skate strap down from its accustomed
nail.
Tailor, TO stout customer-"Have the
kindness TO put your finger on this bit
OF tape, sir--just here; I'll be round in
o minutel'
Elizabeth, N. j., believed that all
ofi ,e holders were innocent until found
guilty, and that's how she came to be
robbed, sold out and ~bankrupted.
The idea that gunpowder and whiskey
will make q soldier feel brave is all nom
sense. Put him behind a stone wall If
you want to see his spine stiffen.
Olive Logan once demanded permits
sion to enter q Masonic Lodge as a rep
resentatiye OF the women Of America,
but she is no longer the giddy thing she
was.
When a good looking Indiana girl has
the measles it always follows that from
seven to fifteen of the young men in the
neighborhood are soon taken down with
the same disease.
Keep your eye on Congress, and mark
the men who refuse to vote for free
pa er. Every mar who refuses to is an
enemy to the people at large, and should
be shelved as soon as possible.
A lot Of gypsies encamped near
Princeton, Ind, to tell fortunes, and in
two days they set seven pairs Of lovers
to quarreling, separated two families,
and caused two old maids to commit
suicide.
"a sudden inspiration which he could
not choke back" was what induced a
Vermont official to hawk on the public
funds and skip into Canada. New dis
eases are being developed every week.
Scene l. Lieutenant, to private, who
has been misconducting himself: Snow,
if ever 1 catch you lifting your hand
again, I'll report you" Scene2. "Why,
what tho -; why don't you saluteP"
Private: "Shure, and didn't you tell me
the other day that if i've yer caught
me lifting my hand you'd report me to
the COLONEL"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27
Just the One,

Just fair enough to be pretty,
Just gentle enough TO be sweet,
Just sAucy enough 10 be witty,
Just dainty enough to be neat.
Just tall enough TO be graceful,
just slight enough for q fay,
Just dressy enough TO be tasteful
Just merry enough to be gay.
Just tears enough TO be tender,
Just signs enough TO be sad,
just soft enough to remember,
Your heart through the cadence made glad
Just meek enough for submission,
Just bold enough 10 be brave,
Just pride enough for ambition,
Just thoughtful enough to be grave.
A tongue that can talk without hArmlng,
Just mischief enough to tease,
Manners pleasant enough to be charming,
That put you at once at your ease.
Generous enough, and kind hearted,
Pure as the angels above;
oh, from her may / never be parted,
For such Is the maiden l love.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27

Professor Ito a student "unprepared"
EFT this is 80, then that is So"
Student. doubtiully, sir" Pro.
iessor--"Then if that is 80, this follows"
Student, with animation, Eyes, sir"
Pofessor-"Then il this follows, that is
the result" Student, triumphantly,-
ayes, SIR" Professor-"Entirely wrong,
sir, you may sitI The next"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27

During the recent applied science ex.
hibition, Paris. a diploma of honor was
awarded to Count de Beaufort by ths
80 'iety for IL aid of the mutilated poor
for the best display of artificial limbs,
Among the exhibits was a carpenter
who had artificial arms, but was to be
econ daily working at his trade; also a
girl In the same condition who sat knit
ting, much to the satisfac ion of the
spectators.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27

GA young lady in Brooklyn is working
a motto, "No Ice Cream" She says,
'fYou know it is leap year, and the ice
crop is q failure, and the boys might as
well know it first as last"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27

Ira Curtis, an FISHERMAN, of New
Haven, Conn, has taken more than
sixty drowned and drowning persons
from the water. lie makes a careful
study Of currents and eddies for the
purpose OF seeking bodies.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27
A SEALED

3" What are sealed proposals. Toni"
Archly asked n bright-eyed miss,
whose mouth upturned, Ikea rosebud sweet
Seemed asking for a kiss.
"Why, Fanny dear, I'll illustrates
It's plain as n, b., c,
Give me- your hand-you have my heart
Aud now 4 = . tits sealed--you soel'
-Middieiown Transcript.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-05-27

The proper order overness, teach
ing alphapet; Sand what comes after T.,
Master WilliamP" Master William
BED"
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

HARPER's Magazine for January will
contain biographical and critical paper on
James Russell Lowell. The article is au-
thentic and will be incorporated in the vol
ume on American men of letters, which
Francis III. Underwood is preparing. Nh
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

THE Cincinnati Commercial has reason
able expectation that Governor Foster viii
presently be in favor of John Sherman's
election to the United States Senate because
she will naturally want Ohio to have the
biggest representative practicable in that
bOdv'
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

EVERY person who has dollar of insur-
ance is indirectly bondholder, for the in
surance companies hold S45,695, $50 of the
four and four and half per cent. bonds.
These were purchased out of the premiums
paid by the insured, and are held to secure
the payment of their losses.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

THERE is nothing in the world equal to
fashionable enterprise, says the New York
Mail. A well known and very ambitious
lady of Murray Hill has sent to China for a
certain rare kind of tea which she proposes
to serve at kettledrum next January.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

Boston Advertiser: The plan of Mr..
Sherman for taking care of the debt to ma
ture within the next seven months is a re-
markable one. Without protesting to be
compromise between the two opposed
methods of dealing with that debt, it is
compromise of the best sort. By the adop-
tion of it. the government would borrow
money to pay the debt in such way that it
could apply its annual surplus to the re-
demption of short-time treasury notes until
the next class of bonds begin to mature,
and would have renewed the balance for
long term and at a low rate of interest.
The idea is not only brilliant, but it shows
itself practical on its very face.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

Mr.. and Mrs. Smith Hayden of Marshall,
Texas, quarreled about the doctrine of bap-
tism on getting home from church where
they had heard it preached about, and the
wife in her passion struck the husband
blow with an axe.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09
THE PRESS.
THURSDAY MORNING, DEC. 8.

We do not read anonymous letters and communl-
cations. The name and address of the writer are In
all cases Indispensable, not necessarily for pubca-
tion but as guaranty of good faith.
We cannot undertake to return preserve COM
munlcations tnat are not used.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

THE Hon. J. r. Doolittle is going up and
down the Western country and refusing to
be comforted, because this perverse Nation
wouldn't go Democratic.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

THE British Government has spent ten
million and half pounds sterling on its
postal telegraph service, and yet it is de-
clared failure, the rival private companies
serving the public better.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

II is demonstrated by the New York Tri-
bune that the expenditures of New York
city under Democratic management have in
creased six times as fast during the past
ten years as the population.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

SENATOR Davis, of West Virginia, is
given rest by the action of the Democrat
ic Senate caucus in dropping the special
committee on Treasury bookkeeping.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

EVERY regular attaehe Of the PRESS is furnished
with Ccrd certificate signed by Stanley Pulen,
Editor. All railway. steamboat and hotel managers
will confer favor upon us by demanding credentials
of every person claiming to represent our journal.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

RAMsDELL says: 'One thing has par
ticularly struck me since Garfield has been
elected, and that is the ungodly number of
intimate friends he has.''
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

THE Advertiser errs knowingly and viii
fully in saying that the agent of the Asso-
ciated Press in Boston had six copies of
the Presidents message in his possess
sion Monday. He had not even one.
The six copies mentioned in Mr. Boards
despatch were sent from the President at
Washington to Government officers in Bos-
ton, and by them given to the Boston news
papers. Mr.. Beard had to wait for proofs
from the newspaper offices in or; er to send
the message by wire to Maine The Adver-
tiser knew Monday morning that the mes
sage was to be sent through either collector
OF customs or postmaster, and that the As
sociated Press had nothing to do with the
matter. Still it persists in slapping the
wrong boy, and gets mad because the boy
laughs. s
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

IT appears that the law which Gov. Col
quit obeyed in summoning Georgia's elect
ors was made in pursuance of the constitu-
ton Of the Confederate States, enacted in
1890
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

a Democrat, is going to try and repeal the
navigation laws this Winter.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

COLORADO expects the new apportion-
ment to give her al additional Congress-
man.
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09

NEWSPAPERS were the text of the Rev.
Robert Collyer's sermon on Sunday. Mr.
Collyer thinks The newspaper is the real
King where monarchy exists and the real
President where men exist under Repub-
lican form of government. He thinks sit
must be the first condition Of the editorship
of great newspaper that the editors shall
see further and wider than we do, as it is
the first condition of a minister that he
shall see deeper and higher than his hearers.
There is deep right in the work the editor
has to do; if he is a man we tie to he must
be free man within certain large lines
larger, most likely, than we like to allow
or else the day comes when he is not worth
tying to. OF all places in the world to be
guarded from narrow, bigoted and secta-
rian spirit, put the editors sanctum first
after the Church. Let us see to it that we
conserve such freedom, and then the course
of the great and grand newspaper will be as
that of the sun, which shineth more and
more unto the perfect day, and the whole
image will be of shining gold"
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09
The Electoral Count.

Congress shows good sense in going to
work on the bill concerning the ell etoral
count. This is good time to discuss that
subject and pass law regulating the count.
As the result of the Presidential election
just held is uodisputed, and whatever law
is passed will be free from the suspicion that
it is framed to advance the present political
fortunes of either party, the subject can be
approached with candor, discussed without
heat, and wisely settled. The session is
short to be sure, but beyond the appropria-
ton bills and the refunding proposition Con-
gress has little to do. 1t can make its latest
sitting benefit to the country by rescuing
us from the perils that in the present state
of uncertaioty attend very close Presiden-
tial elections or disputed SUGGESTIONS, and
that are constant menace to the stability
OF government and the well-being of the
people s'as
The Morgan resolution is not the proper
measure TO adopt, for it contains some dam
gerous provisions. The Republicans do
right to oppose it, and we hope they will
succeed in defeating it, But out of the de-
bate will come, We trust, good anI sltisfac-
tory law, like the bill offered by Senator
Edmunds. Whatever the result, debate up
on the subject will be profitable, for it will
arouse the people to the danger now attend
ing the electoral count and quicken their
desire for the settlement of a question that
has so many possibilities of peril
The Portland daily press., 1880-12-09
TURKS. TURKS.
Turkeys.

Just received from AROOsTOOK large,
fine lot, and selling at 49, IA, 10 and 16 cents
Choice fresh Fowl and Chickens, TO- IL and 15
cents.
A Lovely Goose only IA and 15 CENTS
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-02-17
A Qucer Dinner Party.

Michael Dunn, reformed convict has
opened lodging house in New York and
a queer party, y,atcly took dinner at his board.
Seated next to Mr.. Dunn was Michael Nc
Cam, aged twenty-one years, having no
faflcr or mother, who broke into and RIB
bed Browns shoe store in Roosevelt street,
and served two years In State Prison for
doing so. lie is now employed rs assis-
tant jnnitor in the Five Points House of
Industry. In addition to serving term
in State Prison he graduated from tho
House of Refuge and was in the Peniten-
tiary. Patrick Clarke, the second guest,
had served term oftwo years for burglary,
and is now employed in making woolcn
shawls. James II. White, of Pittsburg,
who has spent seventeen years in prisons in
New York and Pennsylvania, was the fourth
guest. He was a burglar by profession, but
is now selling twenty five cent braces in the
streets. A German cooper, named William
Vincent served seven years in Sing Sing
for stcaling.a watch from drunken man;
a crime Of which he declares himself limo.
cent. lie is now employed in coopcrage
at Red Rock Point and pays SO board to
the House of Industry every week. The
youngest of the convicts was Joseph Baker,
aged seventeen years, who served two terms
on BlackWcll's Island for petty larccncy,
and Is now working hard in a Catherine
street dry goods store for seventy-fve cents
a day James Wilson, who is but tw cnty-
six years old, has served ono term of seven
years in Sing Sing TO! burglary and has been
in the pcnitentiary, lie is now engaged in
knitting wooden shawls. Martin y. Harris,
forty-four years, who te.ved three years
in Sing Sing for robbery, sat next in order.
He will 20 to sea, a berth having been Be-
cured for hlm by Mr.. Dunn on ON East In
dia ship. Charles McDcrmott, a gray hair
ed man, thirty .nine years old, sat next. He
served four terms in Sing Sing for burglary,
his last term being two years. He will 60
to sea with Harris. William Todd, aged
forty-four years, completed the party. He
has served terms in Sing Sing, at Grow Hill
and on Blackwell 3 leland for larcency. AT
present he Is selling on commission for a
Beekman street house The dinner proceed.
ed with the greatest decorums and at It's
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-02-17

close Mr. Dunn said to reporter: 'sIf you
give an exconvict a fair show in nine cases
out of ten he will reform for no man who
has ever been in a State Prison cares to go
there again. When Il man comes here l
teach bin to knit woolen slawls They
sell for 70 each, but there is not any pro-
tit on them. They serve one purpose, to
show whether or not the man wants to
work. If lie is lazy, good-f nothing fcl-
low do not keep him, but if he wants to
work try and procure employment for
him. During the past year | have given
shelter to 2S7 men and turned out twcnt-
eight because they were idle aud lazy.
Places for sixteen men were obtained on the
elevated railroad, twenty in different mcr-
chants offices in the city, fifteen in laundry
at Bclicvillc, n. j., fifty were sent to sea
and seventeen enlisted in the army. On
an average the support of each man costs
Sl,T per week. They have clean beds,
books and papers to read and are kept out
OF bad company and harms way. Captain
lyman and Detectives Titus and Carr oc-
caslonally come into and see us and leave
something behind them. During the day
time l go through the city trying to sell
shawls Or get work for them. We hold no
public services, for nothing SO humiliatcs
and renders desperate man who has been
in prison as to be exhibited to people whom
he does not know.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-02-17
Along Tho Rio Gralltlo.

Coming south from Santa Fc on the Rio
Grandc, writes a traveller, for the first 200
miles one is never out of sight of towns
and villages The system Of irrigation is
the most complete and extensive in
tho United States, cast of the Rocky Noun
taing, although half the land is not cult
vated. The larger portion of these towns
are Of the ancient inhabitants, or as we call
them Pueblo Indians Some are called
Spanish or Mexican towns, and some are
mixed. In every one of them, small and
great, there is Catholic church. Like tho
other cdifices, IL is of adobe, and is marked
by its larger size, and by having tower
and ono or moro bells. Many of the fields
are fenced by high walls of aiobc brick,
and sometimes Of sod, some of them ap-
parently of great age. The whole valley
Is lined with irrigating bitches, and some
times three Of them arc found along side of
each other These are under the control
Of local officers, who keep them in repair,
and allot tho portion Of water due to each
when water Is scarce, The oldest Indian
towns have q very efficient system Of water
government and tho Spaniard and Ameri-
can borrowed it from them. Tho people
cultivate wheat, oats, barley; Indian corn
Is extensively cultivated, but, should say.
not not very successfully, although saw some
fine fields of corn. They have patches of
potatoes, cabhages, beans, onions, and, In
fact most of the vegetables usually culti-
waited, large patches of red pepper included.
Vineyards are found all along tho valley,
and this Is destined to be the or at wine
producing region of the United States.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-02-17
An Acronnut's Terrible Fare,

Prof Atchison, made an asccntion from
Elmwood, Illinois, on July 20. 1879.
When the balloon was inflated the Profess
son gave the wOrd and 1t was let loose
from the earth, Dressed in pink tights,
with green figured jacket covered with
spanglcs, bare arms and bare head, the halr
on the latter being black and curly, the aer-
onaut assembled, holding Oh with one hand,
and with the other waved al adicu to the
crowd below. "lt's the poorest ascension
that ever made" said he; 81 can't do
much but III do the best can" So say
ing, he threw up his legs over The bar, and,
letting go his hands, hung downward,
hanging by the knee. joint. The interest
and anxiety Of the multitude were next
heightened rs he hooked on foot right
and left at the junction of the ropes with
the bar. and hung suspended at full length
The balloon ascension itself was us good rs
could be desired, and so far the people had
all the sensation they could well stand.
The poor, slender figure posturng thus in
mid air to amusc them, who shall say how
it was with him mentally and bodily at this
timc2 Catching again ut the bar, he drop
ped his feet and hung for second or two
by the right hand The balloon was still CO.
ing up, and the interest was painful to
many, The height attained at this time
was variously estimated at from 100 to 500
feet; 200 is perhaps fair guess. The bal
loon was slowly drifting to the southeast,
and the acrounaut, while holding on by one
hand, made no further attempt 10 continue
the performance, but apparently opening
the hand that held the bar, with not the
least attempt to clutch with the other, lie
Immediately commenced to fall over the
railroad track! For about thirty feet of de-
scent he held hisarms up as when he let 90,
and then he commenced to struggle with
his hands and feet. This was nero in
stinctiyc motion. Nothing that he could dc
would avert the terrible death awaiting llm,
and with a violent thump which could be
heard at the distance of the Catholic
church, two blocks off, he struck the earth
north of the railroad track, just outside the
tics, about. a yard from the rails. He ap-
pears to have struck on his right side, for,
on being taken up, his right thigh was
broken above the knee, and all that side cx-
tending back was bruised and backencd,
but 10 blood came from the body. This
appalling death had lmost painful effect
upou the multitude Of spectators. Women
screamed and tainted. Children cried at tho
unwontcd spectacle of man falling head,
long through the air, and all were struck
with feeling of awe that al event gotten
up for public amusement should end sc
disastrOusly,
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-02-17
An Old Bonanza.

They had church fair down at Span
ishtown ncnr San Francisco, which was
held in large grain warehouse just oppos-
tic the residence of a cross old bachelor,
the richest man in the place. AS the re-
ccipts were rather thin, on the second night
the management secured the services of the
local amateur band to liven up matters.
This band consisted Of two flutes, fiddle,
a cornet, an ACCORDION and brass drum,
the latter instrument being hammered with
extra vigOr whenever one Of the other per-
formers went out for beer. They had sue
cccdcd i'll making about half the night hid
cous when fearful cutlery was heard
across the way, and, on The participants
throwing up the windows, they behcld the
capitalist aforementioned in his night gown,
and swearing in manner that made tho
Sunday school teachers shuddcr to hear.
."What do you people mean by this in
fernal racket" roarcd the oxaspcratcd
man.
"Why-lhs-th is fair" said the
lady who ran the grabbing.
'Oh it is, is it 2" snccred the disturbed
party.
''You call it fair to rob people of their
natural rest by this sort of secondhand
pandcmonium, do you? Well, what's the
t-a-r-c, ch Z"
'What's the what 2" asked the MANA
ger of Rcbccca's we'll
"Why, the farc-the admission fcc2
How much to come in and be swindlcd 2"
''Tbe tickets arc two bits" replied the
lady, rather shortly.
Every well now talk quick, for this is
business. How much have you taken in
so far2''
-"Ninc dollars and six bits" said the
treasurer.
''And how much longer does your f,aud
Oh the public run2"
Three nights
every well, that makes about $40-call
1t 800 in round numbers. Send round to-
morrow and I'll give you check for that
amount. win make it $75 if You shut up
shop in ten minutes" and the old objcctor
to innocent amusement slammed down the
window and returned to bed.
After which the congregation corkcd up
the orchestra and dispersed. But they arc
going to give musicale in the Same build
ing next week. They say they've struck
bonanza IN that old party and mean to
work 1t to the bedrock.
The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-02-17
DEATH IN THE WOODS.

Death in the wood
Death and scent OF decay;
Death and a horror that oreops with the
si88 blood,
And stifrons tho limb to clay;
For the rains arc heavy and slow,
And tho lcayes are shrunken and wan,
Aud the winds are sobblng weary and low,
And tho life OF tho year ia gono.
Death in the wood
Death in it's fold over fold;
ss$&D Death-that shudder'd AMI sank whore
8$ stood,
SAt the touch OF hanl 80 cold
ssAt the touch Of a hand 30 cold
And the sight Of clay-whito faco.
$IsFor saw the corse OF the friend loved
And hush fell over the place.
y Death in tho wood
Death and scent OF decay.
Death and a Ii ,rror but half unaerstood
Where blank as the dea lay;
;a What curse hung ovor tho oarth,
What woe TO tho tribes Of mon,
g8 That We felt as a death what was mado Tor a
6Sss bir,h,
iiAiit birth sinking destbward again
Death in tho wood
Int the death-palo lips apart;
gs Death in a whiteness that ourdled the blood
sNow back to tho. very heart;
Tho woAdor by her WAS form'd
Who stands supreme in power.
10 show that lifo by tho spirit comes,
bha gave us u soulless flower!