Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-03-05
Detroit Currency

A Hoosier never sits under shed
when there is fight in the rain out.
side.
The skins and cores of bushel of
apples amount to almost peck. Gnaw
'em close.
The pin is mightier than the sward.
You can sit on the sward with impu-
nifty Yonkers Gazette.
A rolling stone gathers no moss,
but rolling-mill just gathers in profits
and makes stockholders smile.
The Bloomington Eye was all right
until the Sheriff put it out. One can't
be too careful in naming his paper.
IF a man calls you fool pass him
BY" says the Persian philosopher.
That is, leave him lying on the ground.
The President of Peru didn't run
away-oh, no He simply got tired
and came to this country for change
of air.
The Emperor of Brazil won't throw
two cents over his shoulder when he
can make postal card answer as we'll
as a letter.
The voice of q political speaker could
be heard mile in the Arctic regions,
and why they don't go there is an aw-
full mystery.
! Keep away | Death Beware I"
are some of the signs on an Ohio pow.
der magazine which has been empty for
twenty years.
A Detroit vagrant went into police
station the other day and asked the
blue coats to give him q rest. Sc they
gave him arrest.
There were no Indian agents when
Columbus discovered America. nor was
there any trouble between the white
man and the red.
A New York philosopher has discov-
cred that the best dressed men and
women are those who are obliged to
hide natural defects.
"Who will write the music of the
future?' asks New York paper. What
troubles us is to know who will have
patience to listen to it.
Seth Green thinks that fish can be
taught variety of tricks, and we may
yet see them playing on outh-organs
as they march no to the frying-pan.
A man at Bridgeport, Conn.,, kicked
at hog, got bite in the leg and the
doctors had to saw it off to save his
life. A soft answer turneth away
wrath.
TIE profit on wine is not so very
great-only about sixty per cent. Com.
pare this with the twenty-five cents
profit made on box of twenty-five
cent pills.
The New Orleans Picayune has OBJ
served that Latin inscriptions on tomb
stones give the most general satisfac-
ton. What can't be translated is taken
for granted.
A man who can't turn ever new
leaf any day in the year that he is con-
WINGED of the need of reform, won't
keep to that which he turns over on
New Years.
Two Brooklyn tailors fought duef
in the shop. one with the hot goose and
| one with the shears. The goose hung
high. There was only one stab to
fourteen blisters.
1t is said that blue-eyed woman
with blonde hair can out.iobby all the
black-eyed women in Washington.
They have got positively irresistible
way of puckering their mouths.
Every newspaper published in WASH
ington flies this flag: "The has
circulation double that of any other
paper published in this city, This
makes it very nice for all of them.
A Chicago man has woman's tooth
grated into his jaw, and now every
time he passes millinery store that
tooth fairly aches to drag him up to
the Window Philadelphia Chronicle.
Nhey are not color blind at Warren
ton, Mo-, but yet the Banner says:
John Lanto drives the best match
team in this country. 1t consists of Q
big black, blind horse end little white
mule"
No one ever yet knew young and
handsome girl to go to the depot too
late for the train if left to herself. She
is more likely to he half an hour ahead,
especially if the telegraph operator is
young man.
A young man in st. Louis winked at
q woman in a street car. The girl worth
half million to whom he was engaged
saw the wink and severed the silver
cord right away. Don't wink when
there is anything to lose.
The man who drinks continuously at
your expense is q mean man; the man
whe drinks more expensive drinks than
yourself at your expense is danger
GUS man; the man who drinks with you
at your expense and then goes off and
talks about you is the boss snide.-
[Confucius.
You can't fool Quincy girl. When
her "feilow rises from his seat in the
theater between the acts and says: 'Tu
be back in moment" she dazzlee him
with one of her most reliable smiles,
and pulling him back with the remark.
u brought some with me" coyly slips
into his hand pinch of cloves or
roasted coffee Argo.