Daily Republican., 1880-08-19
FUN AND FROLlO.
FacetiOus Fragments round Float.
ing IN Fields of Fact and Fancy.

ing In Fields of Fact and Fancy.
A VERY NATURAL MIsrAKE.-A young
man living in Jersey came into town
one day last week to buy present for
his girl. His wondering gaze being
transfxed by the grotesque display in
one OF the dry goods windows, he en-
tered the store and bashfully stepped
up to a pretty young lady behind the
counter.
"How much are those :" he inquired
pointing to . pair Of handsomely
wrought, nickel-plated garters in the
window.
"Sevsnty FIVE cents" said the young
lady, handing out the articles in ques-
ton and slightly blushing.
~ think they're kinder purity, don't
your" inquired the young man, anxious
10 obtain somebody else's opinion.
Very" replied the young miss !;
"they're the latest STYLE"
every body wears them, don't they?"
continued the young man.
"Almost every body" said the young
lady, affecting an unconcerned air.
~ was going to get them for girl l
know" said the young man, rather
nervously. edo you think she will
like themH"
81 think she might; LII don't know
-" returned the young lady, blushing
again.
Z" Well, hardly know myself" re-
piled the young man, picking up one
Of the dainty articles and examining 1t
closely.
"You don't suppose they'll be too
large, now, do your"
"Why, IL" stammered the young
lady, the blush growing deeper.
/" They seem sorter big like" con-
tinued the young man. not noticing
her confusion. "But Of course l would
not be certain. She's middlin' size,
! but not fat. l should think she was
abou! your bignesS, and if these would
ct you they orter fit her. s'pose you
try 'em on, an if"
:" Sir" exclaimed the young lady
behind the counter, in q voice mat
lifted the young mans hat on the end
Of his hair, "you are insulting"
And she swept away to the end OF
the store, leaving the bewildered young
man in dumb amazement, holding in
his hands what he supposed was pair
of beautiful bracelets.
And when one Of the men clerks
came and explained his mistake, the
young man from the creek struck q
bee line, and in a very brief space o.
time was tearing toward home. He
won't buy any bracelets now until he's
married.
Low IN JUSH-On quiet eve in
leafy June, when bees and birds were
| in tune, two lovers walked beneath the
moon. The night was fair, so was the
| maid; they walked and talked beneath
the shade, with none to harm or make
afraid. Her name was Sue, and his
was Jim; and he was fat and she was
slim, He took to her and she took to
him.
Says Jim to Sue, SPY all the snakes
that squirm among the bush and brakes
| | love you better'n buckwheat cakes"
Says Sue to Jim, since you've begun
| 1t, and been and come and gone and
done It, like You next to new bon
net"
Saws Jim to Sue, "My heart you've
busted, but always the gals mistrust
ed"
Says Sue to Jim, 81 will be true; /
you love me as love you, no knife cal
cut our love in two"
SAYS Jim to Sue, "Through thick AM
thin, for your true love count me in
IPll court no other girl ag'in."
Jim leaned to Sue, Sue leaned to jim
his nose Just touched her jockey brim
four lips met-went ahem! ahem! AM
then-and then-and then-then. 0
gals. beware of men in June, and theI
underneath the silvery noon, whel
frogs and erickets are in tune, lest yol
get your names in the paper SOON.
HIS SIN Scared KNnRs.-They wer'
rehearsing q play in which the leading
r ole was confined to an actor who wa
Unfortunately fat. There was in 1t ON
sensational scene in which the actor
tempted to the commission Of crime
implored Heaven that he might no
yield to the temptation. Alas, at tn
| rehearsal 1t became evident that tn
actor was too fat either to kneel or Il
clasp his hands, "We'll have i
out.h said the disappointed manager
HOh. no." answered the actor cheer
Ifully. "I'll make 1t all right I'll at
tempt to kneel, and then cry, with
despariug gesture, Lost, LOST M,
sin. scared knees refuse their office;
can no longer pray !"
AHICB LOOKING POLIcENAE.-A whlm
lsical incident occurred in theatr
where the leading member Of the com
psny was celebrated for his magnifioen
physique. enc night he was enactinl
V;rsinius, and his mother, who ha'
never been in Q theatre in her life
happened on the occasion to be in tn
boxes. Fresh from her native village
she was somewhat bewildered with tn
novelty Of the scene. When her Sol
appeared, she was amazed at the grand
eur Of his presence in feshings, sand
ais, and toga. His appearance oause'
a great deal OF enthusiastic applause
When it had subsidized, the proud moth
ar unable to restrain herself, and tt
~. o,tor;shment of all around her
said, "I'm so glad you like him; HeI
my son." Thereupon the motnef DO Do
came the centre Of attraction, and on
admirer exclaimed, "Well, madam
Won NAV we'll be proud Of your son
Tor he looks noble as Roman" "Ah,
sighed the poor old lady in reply, - "
don't want him to be q Roman HI
would have looked splendid as a pc
lioeman."
RANDOM NOTES.