davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

Sooner or later" says French
writer, "everything is found out" ."
Just so. A married man, for in
stance, is generally found out later
about three hours later-than he
should be.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14
ADvERTIsING RATES.

business Cards, one year, one dollar for eysfy
line. " S'''S
Local Notices, ten cents per line each insertion
and all notices continued Tor three months ~
longer, discount OF 25 per cent
Advertisements unaccOmpanied by written or
verbal directions will be published three months
Advertisements, under contract, ordered out be :
fore expiration Of time, will be charged full rates
Nopaper discontinued until all arrearages aIs
paid, except at the option Of the publisher.
Transient advertisements must be paid In ad.
vance.
20 Terms, CASH. payable quarterly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

Robinson latter q long whist
bout at the clnb)-"It's awfully
late, Brown. What will you say
to your wife ?" Brown lin a whis-
per)-"Oh, shan't say much, you
know. Good morning, DEAR or
something Of that sort. She'll say
the rest."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

A street sketch. We should
really advise Old Shoddy, if he
must have liveried coachman to
drive him about, not to select the
handsomest and most aristocratic
looking one he can find, because
well, because comparisons are obi
ous.-Harvard Lampoon.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

"Where do your paragraphers
go to when they die!" asks the
Houston News, and the Philadel-
phia Chronical-Herald replies =
eff it isn't from the humorous to
the grave, we give it up"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

A merchant in provincial town
in Scotland had q habit of saying,
''it might hae been waur" to every
thing that was told him, however
sad the story might be. A neigh
Dor, thinking that he would knock
the wind out of him, one morning
said: "Man, l had an awful dream
last night" GAY, what did ye
dream ?" 81 dreamed that | was
in hell 1t might hae been waur.'
GLOW could it hae been waur e.
"If it had been n reality"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

1t is strange how much better a
photographer can take a picture
to hang in a show case than he can
for a customer.-Contemporary Re-
view.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

81 should like to see somebody
abduct me-" said Mrs. Smith at
the breakfast table the other morn
ing. "H'm! so should I, my dear ;
so should l." said Mr.. Smith, with
exceeding earnestness."
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

A garrulous fop, who by his
frivolous remarks had annoyed his
partner 10 ball room, among
empty things asked whether she
had ever had her ears pierced
"No," was the reply "but / have
often had them bored" d."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

A faint heart never won a fair
lady, but faint whisper often
catches her.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

1t is never too hot for a billiard
ball to freeze.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

Speaking of thunder turning
fresh milk, Bliffers says it can't
hold a candle to q vicious COW.
He says he has a COW that can turn
whole pailful of new milk "quick-
er'n thunder l"-Yawcob Strauss.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

Kate Field asks: "Can q man
get along without chin :" Well,
judging from the announcements
under head of "Married' in the
newspapers, it would seem that a
large majority of him couldn't
Puck.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

Hugo Arnot was a long time
afflicted with a very bad cough.
One day after a severe fit, meeting
the late Mr.. Tytler, of Woodhous-
lee, he remarked to him that "this
cough would certainly carry
him off some day like a rocket" :"
"Aye, aye, Mr.. A." observed Mr..
7. "It's my opinion, however, if
you dinna mend your manners, ye
will TAX a contrary direction"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

A cheap country seat--a stump.
Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14
WI. II. M1ZDEN, NJ. u.

PHYSICIAN, SURGEON, GYNECoLoGIsT
&C., Late Asst. Surgeon U. S. Army; Examining
Surgeon for u. :. Pensioners and all the princi-
pal Life Insurance Cos. Residence and Office on
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14
WIT AND HUMOR.

A most fastidious man was he;
Whenever he got tight,
He'd fly triAe 10 the left,
Then slow down TO the right;
He'd Jam against hitching post,
And exc against tree,
And bark his nose-in fact, a most
Fast-stiddy-us man was he.
-purk
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14


Being called to account for the
statement that a certain meeting
was ga large and respectable one"
when only one other person be-
side himself was present, a report
er insisted that what he had set
down was literally true; "for,"
said he, Il was large and the 9TH
er man was respectable. ."-Ex.
Marriage a la mode: Old Gun
nybags,-"So you want to marry
my daughter, ell? Well, sir, what
are your expectations, sir ~
Young Sharpey.-"Well, l expect
you'll do the handsome thing in
the way Of marriage gift, and
that will last us until you drop off,
and then, of course, you will make
your will in our favor."-Andrew's
Bazaar.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

"Please your honor" said the wit
ness, "she was awfully cross-eyed." /"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14

Accommodation trains leave Lapeer, east, iO6
D. IN, ll:lj p. III. west, 800 p. m, ll:i5 p. m. !;
Flint, east, 100 II. m, $50 p. m. west, Si5 A.
IN, leo p. IN.
A through Pullman palace sleeping coach is run
from Lansing to Buffalo on trains passing Flint
at 7:i7 p. m, and Lapeer at sos p. m.
CHAS. b. PECK, IL. FUNNEL W. L. DAVIS,
GEM Manager, Supt. Genl Tkt. Agt
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-07-14
hECAI1TIOM.-

Beware of limitations. See that the name Of r.
W. klnsman n in the glass Of the bottle
sold BY druggists and dealers. Price, loc 35e
and 10 tssvf
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22

and III their inhuman collisions and mur-
derous orgies, kept up reign of terror.
1t was once smiling country, peaceful,
prosperous and happy, converted by the
tell Moloch of war into a bloody scene of
utter dcsolation. And to these awful
horrors, universal and unmitigable, the
appalling possibility of starvation was
added. No crop could be raised in this
hldeous time, and charity could not pen
citrate this wilderness of devastation.
Capt. keith's family lived In this Sec
ton. he obtained leave of absence to
visit and provide for his people, and
never returned. The descrtion was a
surprise to those who knew the high
and noble character Of the man, but there
was allowance to be made tor any one in
the necessity of protection for a mans
family where he was powcrless and the
req hand OF violence was sovereign ru-
ler. Intelligence from that country was
lntrequent and obscure, but always of
plunder and bloodshed. Men slept In
their boots and armed. OF Capt. Keith
we heard little. He was evidently trv-
ing to preserve his safety. He lived in
terror OF the torch of the incendiary and
the pistol of the assassin. How or when
he came to his death has never been learn
ed. He was missing from his family, and
tor weeks his fate was unknown. His
trends were in an agony Of suspense,
feeling the worst. And when the dread
certainty was known, it verified the most
dreadful anticipation. His body was
found In the woods IN gully, disfgured,
ma!treated, decaying, barely recognizable.
Rachel Stones curse had been fulfilled
to the letter. lie had miserably perish
cd, as she had prayed and predicted. He
had miserably died like a hunted dog,
and met the trightful fate her 1mplacable
tongue had invoked upon him-a wretch
ed, terror-stricken, lonely, murdered out
cast.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22

CHICAGO, April 19.-The foreign market was
depressed and lower again to-day. Last nights
thunder storm chang ing the temperature from
very warm to rather cold, which ordinarily
should have given us at least temporary ad
vance, had the effect only that wheat opened a
shade lower than Saturdays closing. The
deal to-day had one marked feature, that of
much long stuff being forced on the market aa
margins run out, and the boys assisted them,
you bet. We sold off steadily from the OPEN
ing price, May $l.ll,to $l.10, at which point it
seemed as if some parties thought it pur-
chase. just for a small reaction or rather scalp,
but the assisting powers were so insignificant
that soon the craft cut loose from her moor
ings aud down the stream she went. New York
was very heavy and lower all along, and look
wherever they would, not q spot there was to
be found for the so-called clique showing any
encouragement. No wonder then that the boys
had it all their own way. and the extreme clos
ing was. May $l.O734. Since change $1.071x0l
l:O8, however, has been paid, and good many
there are who expect small rally anyhow to-
morrow: sure thing it is that our market is
in condition now that small encouragement
will turn us the other way abruptly, if only
but temporary.
Well, if wheat was sick, corn certainly
was more, sick. For fourteen day. this
market has acted as if really
seen it to-day. 1t opened at $3.50 May and
sold down to 34155c without rally.
Calling wheat sick and corn more sick, what
is left then for me to express the feeling in the
provision market. 1t was nothing but down,
and down she goes. Should the old saying hold
good that on the lowest point she is always
weakest, We ought certainly to have rally in
everything tomorrow. l don't see how it
could he weaker than we closed with every
thing.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
A Plea for Plainness.

The old maxim about reading much
but not many things in order to become
wise, might be applied also to eating,
since in physical as we'll as in mental
food the best results are from simplicity
and not from variety. The best guaran-
ty of health makes good square meal of
simply-cooked and nourishing food with
out craving for multiplicity of rich and
rare cakes and sweetmeats, pies and rel
ishes. Pinching economy reduces the
dishes ON many table, and so becomes
an angel of health in disguise; but in
prosperous families the bill of fare cener-
ally shows an extraordinary growth and
needs more pruning than it ever gets. 1t
the family are agreed in their tastes, there
need be but few dishes upon the table at
any meal though there should be judic-
ious exchange, or rotation of dishes from
meal to meal. The advantages of plain liv-
ing are numerous. The best authorities
agree that it is the most healthful. It
greatly reduces the work in the kitchen
and enables the housewife to devote part
OF her time to something better. 1t re-
duces the cost of living, and this in these
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
THE NORTHERN PACIFIC.

Important Action by the Senate Railroad
Commttteo-Voto to Extend the Tlme J
tO4.
WASHINGTON, April l9.-At the meeting to-
day of the Senate military committee Senator
Garlsnd's bill to extend for ten years the time
for the completion of the Texas Pacific rail-
road was taken up and amen dments adopted
making its terms substantially identical with
those of the amended Northern Pacific bill.
The motion then prevailed by majority Of
one vote that the Texas Pacific bill as amended
be reported back for action of the Senate and
placed upon the calendar without recommends
tion. Several members of the committee say
this order will probably be changed to a posi-
tive recommendation in favor of the bill be-
fore it is actually reported to the Senate.
The committee decided. by vote of Z
against 4, to recommend the passage of the
bill to extend for six years the time for the
completion OF the Northern Pacific.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
Fatal Giant Powder Explosion.

E At San Francisco the giant powder
works, district Of Berkeley across the bay, ex-
Eploded on the afternoon of Saturday, April II,
Killing twelve whites and twelve or fifteen
EEhinalnen. This is the third explosion the
company has sustained attended with loss of
lne. The explosion occurred in the picking
room. and all at work there we're killed. About
5000 pounds were in the room. All the vic
Tins we're blown to atoms. There were six
houses. inside the works, all blown to slivers,
but the werkmcn in them escaped with the
exception Of one man in the magazine, no
trace of whom has been found. Outside OF
The works arc six houses, including the board
ing house of the hands, all more or less dam
aged. The cause Of the explosion is supposed
to be carelcsncss. Workmen are hired by the
piece, and directed to use wooden mallets in
picking cartridges, but found they could work
faster and make more money by the use of an
iron hammer, a risky business around giant
powder. 1t IS supposed some one hit once too
many and his cartridge went of, ignitng the
powder before him, which communicated with
the adjacent packages, with the terrible result
noted.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22

times is an item worth considering.
Plain living, too, serves as a corrective,
or, rather, preventive, in the young, of
the unnatural cravings which in after
life seek qualification in dangerous stim
uiants. Mothers would surely shuddcr
II they could only see what those appe-
tites they so sedulously cultivate in their
children with which any spicy dainties
are no longer at hand or have lost their
relish. Habits of plain living formed in
youth are sometimes abandoned in after
life, but it is certain such habits never fit
comfortably unless they are formed in
youth. Enforced in middle life as a
necessity, they are of little avail in re-
storing health or fortune, and are submit
ted to as heavy burdens to be dropped at
the earliest opportunity.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22

DESERT OF SAHARA.-Lieut. Seaton,
q. S. n, attributes the origin of the
Desert of Saraha to the destruction of
the forests with which the banks of the
Saharan streams were once lined. The
inhabitants, being pastoral people,
destroyed the forests to secure pastur-
age. "Consequent upon the destruc-
ton of the forests, the periodical rains
were replaced by short, though violent,
storms, the waters from which, instead
of soaking in, as in tho past ages, slipp6
by on the rocky masses, carrying away
the rich surface:mold, and bringing
about the drying of the springs, and,
as a direct consequence, Of the rivers"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22

seems no abatement to the terrible forest fire
winch surrounds us. The fire has spent its
.lorce here, but it is burning toward Barnegat.
The trains on the New Jersey Southern rail.
road to day ran the gauntlet with closed win.
oows. which were blanketed. But few pas.
sengers undertook the dangerous ride: The
n ,aeas was intense, and the cars badly scorched.
FROM Torns River, J.. The great fire has
crossed 'ca the river and is speeding towards
sdood Luck point and Island Beach. Fears
are entertained that it will reach this town.
Tue people are fighting the fire. Ormitts
mills, on the suburbs of town. are reported
destroyed.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
In Mi(ty01<Lrp.

MILWAUKEE, Wis, April l3.-One of the
greatest panics ever known in the Milwaukee
chamber of commerce occurred to-day. The
break in wheat amounted to fraction over
&c. A desperate battle has been raging be-
tween the bulls and the bears for a fortnight,
and, each day, as the bears succeeded in work.
would modify the modification of their losses
with the hope that the next day would bring
the upward turn. Saturday the market closed
at $l.OSH for May wheat. the favorite option.
In opening this morning it was at precisely the
same figure and both sides began operations
with zest and courage, Early advices from the
East and abroad showed lower prices and q
weak tone at once set in. At almost every
trade a fraction was knocked off, until amid
the widest excitement May sold at 81. O35A, a
decline Of 4asc. The transactions were very
heavy, SD great was the confidence on both
sides. A positive depreciation has never been
known IN a si.gle day to make matters worse
The terrific storm which centered in Nebraska
yesterday and here this morning, Frustrated
| the wires eastward and the spectators we're
entirely without New York and Liverpool now.
from early morning. This intensified the ex-
citen.ent and the situation became exceedingly
mystified.
The loss in this great decline comes chiefly
upon the big clique, who have been endeavor-
ing to manipulate the market all the spring.
speculators, some Of whom are reported badly
squeezed. The dealers who have been fighting
a desperate battle, and those on the wrong side,
are very sick tonight, although there are no;
any failures reported SO far.
The market closed May $l.O44. but without
any confidence. Eastern orders for tomorrow
are unusually light.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
Track Of Storm,

ST. LOUIS, April ia special to the Post
DiSputch from Lebanod says: Tho tornado
which caused such frightful havoc at Marsh
field last night passed entirely through Green
and Webster counties following the course of
the James river in northeasterly direction. 1t
struck the St. Louis Il San Francisco railroad
in four places, and lett it near Fank's Station,
10 miles this side of Marshfield. The latter
place presents
TERRIBLE APPEARANCE,
there not being more than a hundred houses
unharmed in the entire town. The court house
and many other buildings took fire and the
scene and effects were of dreadful character.
At ono house two children were found dead,
another badly mangled but still alive. The
parents could not be found. In another case
n woman was lost entirely, seems to have been
carried away bodily, No details of the
slee Of have vet ~ud been seesS 1fesyf The The
bark from the trees and lifted others
entirely out Of the ground and telegraph poles
and wires were carried hundreds of rods into
the woods and tied and knotted among the
limbs of the trees as though they were cotton
strings. Everything possible is being done to
ASSIST AND sUCooR THE WOUNDED,
not only at Marshfcld, but at other places.
Physicians throughout the country are flock
ing to the points most injured and doing all
they can to alleviate the suffering.
Doctors from Springfield to the James
river country, six miles south, az
we'll as to Marshfeld, and scores of kind
hearted people have volunteered as nurses
Louis Il San Francisco railroad, is sending
special trains with relief wherever any good
can be done and all are doin. everything DOS
slble to aid the njured and dying.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
EASTER FLOWERS.

Bring flowers, bright flowers,
On the glad Easter morn;
The chanccl and altar
With their beauty adorn!
Their fragrance ascending
All the temple shall fill,
Like cloudlets Of incense
Floating softly and still.
The lily Of Egypt
With its pure regal spathe,
And roscbuds and pansies,
Shall We strew DER the path
Where footsteps of Jesus,
Coming forth from the tomb,
Shall mid their fresh cleaning
Rob the grave of its gloom.
The Earth in her bosom
Her Creator once took;
And a thrill of great joy
All her strong pillars shook.
50 ever at Easter
In grateful remembrance,
She offers fair flowers
Of new life the semb;ance.
And as the sweet blossoms
. From all climates are culled.
May Earth and her nations,
Their transgressions annullcd,
All Join in the anthem
To the Saviour arisen,
Whose echoes shall enter
Heavens portals Elysian!
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
The Dennis Kearney Case.

Judge streetor, of the Superior Court
at San Francisco, April IT., rendered decis-
ion on Kearncy's appeal, confirming the judg:
ment Of tie lower court The San Francisco
counsel for Kearney announce that they will
apply to the supreme court for writ of hab-
cas- corpus, as the only recourse left them.
The supreme court is now sitting at Los An
geles, and some time will necessarily elapse
before any action can be taken. On applica-
ton the court ordered a remittur forth
with which would land Kearney in the house
OF correction directly. He was not present
when the judgment of the court was rendered,
and it is rumored that anticipating the decis-
ion, and the pending application for habeas,
he has absented himself from the city.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
Cyclone in West Virginia

A dispatch from Wheeling, w. Va. of
April 16, says, high wind that prevailed in
that city all day eliminated in the afternoon
in >cyclone of some force sweeping over the
city. blowing due east. The main force OF the
wind seemed to be concentrated on the freight
depot of the P. C. & 8. l.. railroad, as the riv.
er side Of that building was completely torn
off. One ten inch rafter was driven through
the roof of the freight depot Of the Baltimore
s. Ohio adjoining, and through an eight inch
brick partition wall. Two other rafters OF the
OF the same size were blown through the
roof of the same building, doing considerable
damage, but luckily no one was injured. The
damage to both depots will aggregate 81, ,OOO
No other serious damage to property in the
city is reported. The wind was followed by a
thunder storm.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
A ThieYinc Judge,

F. r. Adams, county judge of Faulk-
ner county. Arkbnsas editor of the Currency
has been arrested for stealing $4,000 from the
sherilf's Office at Conway. The sheriff locked
his Office and started for dinner. Meeting
some taxpayers lie returned and found the
door unlocked, the safe open, and money on
Adams person. Adams tried to buy silence.
but failed. Hitherto he has been we'll cs.
teemed.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
Forest Fires.

From seageblc, N. Y, 1t was reported
April II, that part OF district of dense pine
forest and cedar swamp fifty miles long and
ten wide, is burned over. The fire continued
to rage last night. Thousands Of game and
other birds and many cattle suffocated. The
smoke is so dense the sun has not been seen
for two days. The district burned over is
sparsely populated. The flames are extend.
ing~ through Cumberland and Attansey
counties, and unless heavy rain comes will
only be extinguished when they reach the
sea. From Fork River: The entire country
around is mass Of blaze One hundred
square miles of cedar and pine forest is con-
sumed. The greatest alarm is felt by the vii
layers who are out fighting the flames. Two
uses burned. From Manchester N. J. There
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-04-22
HigllwaVmen.

Advlces from Cheyenne, Wyoming
Territory of April 16, state that the five con
victs who escaped from the Wyoming peniten
tentiary last week ale now on the road be
tween Fort Fetterman and Rock Creek stopp
ing coaches. The frs: attempt occurred the
18th inst, when the south bound coach from
Fcttcrman was held, the passengers robbed Of
arms and money and four coach horses cx
changed for worn out team The knights
of the road were very courteous and respected
the mail bags. Two OF the horses taken were
harnessed to a light wagon, the other two
saddled and the road agents moved in a west.
erly direction. A mail driver who arrived at
Rock Creek, on the Union Pacific, last night
reports having been stopped in the morning
by man on one of the stolen horses. The road
agents are well mounted and armed for the
spring campaign.