Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-02-05
Anmurpas department.
TOOK THE FRILLS OUT HIM.

TOOK THE FRILLs OUTOF HIM.
He was a shrewd, white headed old gentle
man tourist, who sat slipping lemonade in
the Baldwin barroom the other day, and who
remarked as selfimportant looking individ-
ual came in and haughtly ordered a whisky
straight:
"Now, I 'spose that gentleman is one of
your bonanza-fellows, and owns about two
thirds of the real estate around here?'
"No," we replied "hes q much greater
parsonage Heis one of the successful can
didates of the late election"
81 might have known it?" exclaimed the
old gentleman, emphatically. "He acts just
as did when was elected to Congress-"
"How was that?"
"Well, you see was elected M. G. from
the Fourth District just after the war. We
had pretty lively campaign of it, and as
had never been in politics before, I somehow
got the idea that the whole country had quit
work and was watching my contest with quiv-
ering anxiety. Every time the other side
called me chicken thief, or bigamist, or
something, and I'd get back at them with a
card in the Renville Warwhoop, headed, AN.
other Lie Nailed = I'd send marked copy to
every leading paper in the country"
"Did, eh p
EYES, and l was disguised to find they new
er paid the slightest attention to me, neither.
What surprised me more was. although | kept
the President and Cabinet advised of every.
thing that occurred, I never got the slightest
sympathy from any of them. I was an Ad.
ministration man, too, and thought it was
blamed singular"
; did they notice you at all ?"
"Not at all, sir, and when 1 was elected,
and the boys lighted bonfire in the main
street, and serenaded me, and spoke for six
hours in the open air as to my future course
on the tariff and finances, the New York pa
pers merely said that sMr Gum had been
elected by small majority my name being
Gonley, as you know"
"That was hard"
well, put that down to envy and NAL
ice, and started for Washington. l expect.
ed that at least the Speaker of the House
and a committee appointed by the Senate
would be down at the depot to welcome me
to the Capitol"
"Did they do so p
"The only persons that met me were COM
mittee of hackmen, who tore my overcoat half
off, rammed me into hack and robbed me,
who then gave me dark room on the top
floor and asked the first weeks board in ad.
vance said it was the rule of the house with
Arkansas members"
"The impudent rascal"
"That's what thought. Well, the next
morning got away from the bed-bugs as we'll
as could, and went up to the White House
to see if the President would like to stroll
down to the House, introduce me and see me
sworn in. l sent up my card, and in an hour
or two, some secretary or other. sent back word
that the President was at breakfast and could
not be bothered"
"Well, was dumbfounded. However, /
went down to the Capitol and told the Ser.
geant-at- Arms to 60 in and announce to the
members that had arrived. That's devilish
good, that is,' and rushed off. expected, Of
course, that the members would come crowd
ing up to congratulate me and say something
like, Magnificent speech of yours that last
one, Gonley Beat 'em by forty eight votes,
too, old fellow And then mebbe, they ID
give me three cheers and all that sort of
thing"
"And did they?"
"No, sir; hope I may never stir if they
didn't give me back seat in the cloak room
until my name was called, and doorkeeper
fired me out into the corridor twice under
the impression that was. lobbyist. Well,
after | had been put on the joint committee
on spittoons and window washing, and
spent couple of months in trying to wedge
in my great four hours speech on the match
tax something occurred that let down my
ch5ck-rein, and took all the frills out of me
for good"
"What was that?"
swell, l was taking drive out to the SOL
diers' Home one afternoon, with three other
members, when light buggy went by like a
streak of creased lightning-the trotter driv.
ell bya solemn-looking man in rusty plug
hat, who was smoking cigar and steadying
small terrier on the seat with his elbow"
"rhat's Butcher Boy" said one of my com.
panions, with great interest; "trots in 20.
He's rattling good stopper, bet your life!"
"Did you notice that dog?" said another.
"Best bred pup in town tail no bigger than
rats; internal fine dog thatT
As l had nothing else to say, casually
inquired who the driver was.
why that's the President" said one of
them, with yawn. "By Jove how would
like to have one of those pups!"
"That settled it. I've been as meek and
sad as car horse pulling picnic ever since" !"
VERY PERSISTENT 1NQUIRY.-A lantern
iawed young man stopped at the postofice
the other day and yelled ont.