The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1880-07-22
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Nasty.
Mr.. Nasty Induiges In u Sleep aud Dreams
His Horrible Dream,


CoNRgDRIT y ROADS,
witch Is in the State Nv Kentucky
July 10, 1880.
In all ages nv the world dreems hev BIZ
considered prophetic. Jon Bunyan yooset
the similtood nv a dream to portray th,
struggles and vicissitoods OF CrischeI
life, and l alluz dreem when anything
especial is agoin to happen to the Dimoc
risy. I differ from Bunyan in this; hi
didn't dreem at all, but he writ ez tho he
did, while actually do dream.
Last evenin Bascom give n spred In
honor Nv the nominashun Nv Hancock
and ez the provender wuv free, and the
liker likewise, / he'd for wunst eggaCkly
all that my system Good hold, and my sys
tenn Is troOly holder. Bein very full,
went to my couch, troo Dimekratic Bun
yam, to dreem. :,
In my dreem the Presidential struggle
took the very material form Nv race. II
wuz all regeler, the two parties trottin Out
eech boss, the winnin post bein the White
House.
The Democrisy trotted out their hosE,
and | felt ruther pleased on the hull. He
come up pranCin with a free sort OF step,
and didn't look as tho he he'd blemish.
Indeed be cum up so gamely, that RELY
he'd faith in his sucksess, tho the other
boss had a winnin look about him, and
cum Nv stock that hez been winnin for
so long that they hev noshun that they
can't be beat.
Our hoss was under groomin Nv Senator
Wallace nv Pennsylvany, and he wuz
backt by the entire South, and Tammany
Hall, and also by scatterin polittikle sports
from the other States.
Now" sed Wallace, Everybody keep
away, and don,tspoil the race by any cuss-
i'd foolishness. hev fitted this boss my
self, end Of l ride him hes sure to win:
Keep clear Nv him and don I say word. +"
"Hold on minnit," sed a long.haired
Teller from Virginny, 1--WE, hev got to hev
some assurances to jestify7us in backing
this hoss," and he flung onto his back an
enormous sack labelled Louisiana ad.
ministration." and jumped on hisself to
keep It in place.
"Jest a minet," sed Pennsylvanny
Dimekrat, she must carry this" and he
hove on a package labelled protective
tariff" and be climbed on.
"He kin never run without this, sed a
Moo Yorker, and he histed up q very
heavy sack labelled Gree trade"
Another Moo Yorker and a Massychoo.
sits man climbed up, each with u very
heavy package NV honest money, and q
Injeany man climbed on with an immense
bundle Nv fiat money. This he'd no
weight, but 1t took up great deal oil
room, and them which kerried' it made
great deal Of noise.
Jist afore the start gang Nv ku klux
from Mississippi climbed on, and, despite
Wade Hampton's entreaties, South ker.
liny Rifle Club scrambled up, and ez Ell
that wuzn't enuf, John Kelly, with the
entire Tammany Society, deliberately took
seats on his back.
Then came gang aded.with States
Rites'n and Catholic Bishop or two
sided into seats jist where they Good hold
the reins, and ten or dozen Confederit
Brigadeers, which woodent take their uni.
folms off, climbed up, and full i've hun
dred Southerners with demands Tor ap'
propriashens hung on his tale.
Senator Wallace demonstrated but 1t
wuzn't no yoose. Every man OF them
remarkt that ef the boss coodent kerry
him, wat kind Nv boss wuz 1t anyhow,
and they all yelled start himT
The word wuz given, the poor broot
made convulsive staggar, and immeIitly
went down under the load that wuz put
upon him. He recovered and managed
10 keep on his feet till he struck the first
quarter post, Ohio, when his strength give
out and down he went rollin over his
miscellaneous load with great effect. The
other walked over the track, and came In
easy winner.
allow could any boss run, so weight.
ed 2" yelled Wallace in rage. ut wood
hey borne down Ginral Washington, let
alone SIGH Ginral ez Hancock. Its no
yoose. The boss was good enuf, but
great Cesar what load he he'd to kerry r
While the crowd wuE q strgglin to gil
out from under the eggsaustin charger,
swoke.
loaded with all these weights aiore he
startsP Is there no way OF keepin out ny
site what we don't want to be seen, I'LL
alter the eleckshun? .es.
| fear not. Wa are neither ez wise e.
serpints or harmless eE doves. II Is proyi
dence agin us. We never yit he'd a show
for success that we did not immejitly, fool
| Il away. The radikels are torchunit u
our sioopidity. They hey lived onto II
| for ten years. Ell we only he'd the sense
| to run Hancock on bis style and military
record and say nothin about anything
else, or II we Good keep our yotin ele
ment out uV site till eleckshun day, w
mite 20 through. But ea 1t ID, we are
hopelisly gone up. My hart Is sad.
PETROLEUM v. Massey,
(despondent,)