Litchfield enquirer., 1880-10-14

uuCtiOu Oh ulS pen you ueVeT KNOW WnoIuer
he is a literary Teller or hog raiser.
Twin street, at Piper City, ILL.,, was so
named because six pairs OF twins were born in
it within few years.
There being no hell, Robert Ingersoll is
obliged to tell his enemies that they can go
'osie1as' - g -
A single cucumber or green apple engraved
upon many child's tomb would be mere ex-
pressive than ten lines Of obituary poetry.
St. Julien must be in need of repairing.
The dispatch from Beacon park describing the
race says she broke in three places"
"Married-1n Chillicothe, September 10,
Herbert L. Rollingstone and Emma J. Moss. I"
Thus does one familiar proverb receive death
blow.
| :. A, Qualified Judge. Squire .Horsenail, M
P. (who had been inspectin' the board school
-"Well. good-by, childer. Yer reads well,
an yer spells we'll; but yer hain't sot STILL"
| t"What are your husbands politics. mad
am ?" inquired political canvasser.
''Well, l don't know" was the quiet an
| swer, II guess he don't quarrel much"
1t is said that sharks will not bite a SWIM
mer who keeps his legs in motion. If he can
keep kicking longer than shark can keep
waiting, you'll be all right
A publication giving the origin and ped
igree of all the old Virginia families is issued
| periodically at Richmond. Those who don't
belong to the r. F. VS. have dubbed it the
| SCOUT journal" - -@------ b. 49,
When an Indian doctor has lost five pa
fiaptc tho curuivOra of tho friha oapd h;,,,
after them to see what has become of them.
After all, the Indians would lose some advant-
ages by civilization.
+ Some wicked Yankee says that he has in
vented new telegraph He proposes to place
line of women fifty steps apart, and commit
the news to the first as very profound secret.
care you any relation to my sister," He
blushed and stammered until the young lady,
taking pity on him, solved the matter by say
ing, ''No, but he'd like to be-. wouldn't you,
Alfred 2" Cards will soon be out. q ~
A Newport fox hunt came to an unexpected
end the other day. The fox, a thoroughly re-
liable animal, which had been employed by
the Newport hunters for many years, died
suddenly of old age.
A girl just returned to Hannibal from q
Boston high school said, upon seeing fire
engine at work: "Who would evan have
dweamed such a vewy diminutve looking
apawatus would hold so much wattah %
A colored man came into Galveston news
paper office and wanted to take the paper.
''How long do you want it 2" asked the CLERK.
''Jess as long as it is, boss. Eff it don't fit de
shelves kin tar piece off myself"
& The first hat of new fashion for ladies is
not the result of any particular design. One
is finished plain and then sat down upon by
take under pressure will be adopted as the fall
style and become the pattern for others.
An inquest has been held in London on
George Alderbarg, a most respectable retired
bookseller in Paternoster row. The poor old
mans head had been turned by the Tanner
affair, and for five weeks he lived on nothing
time, but he gave way suddenly on the sixth
week.
Now is the time when the democratic editor
bridges over a dearth Of news by writing let
ter stating that although he has always been
stanch republican, he will vote this year for
the gallant Hancock" and adds that ''many
of his old republican friends will also vote for
the hero of Gettysburg" Then he signs it
"A Republican," and inserts it in the next
number of his paper.
"Ah!" said Gilhooly yesterday morning,
give done one good act" .'Sent barrel of
-four to the poo:house ?" ''Better than that.
I've just told DIP. Smith. who don't stand
ghost of show, that he will be nominated by
reclamation" "Well, that is one of those
kindnesses that do great deal of good and
don't cost anything" 1.-THE mischief it dent
cost anything! l borrowed So from HIM on
the strength of it,"
One Sunday night we were sitting out in the
moonlight, unusually silent, almost sad Sud-
denlo some ope-a poetic looking man with
gentle, lovely face-said in low tone: Ibid
you ever think of the beautiful lesson the stars
teach us ?" We gave'a vague, appreciative
murmur, but some soulless cod said: ''No;
what is it ?" ''How to wink" he answered,
with sad, sweet voice.
The statute of Thiers with the inscription
First President of the Republic" has been
unveiled close to the spot in the small Place
Theirs, in Paris, in which he breathed his
last. He holds the map of France in bis
hands, with the word '.Belfort'' standing out
in large gilt letters, indicating the fortress
which he successfully expended his every ef-
fort to wrest from the victorious German.
''Why, how do you do?" and there was
cordial but brief kissing season. II haven't
seen you for ever SO long. You haven't called
you know" 81 know it, I don't 90 any,
where. Last week was at the shore, next
week Pm off to the mountains, September is
so delightful, you know. and Pm over to sis
ter's or up to mothers about every day, and so
much shopping to do. [ really don't go any,
where And they smiled and said good-by
three times apiece.
The Shuttle family were quietly ENJOYING
the Sunday afternoon dinner. Job. my dear,
said his wife, -wreathed smiles, Il wish y0n
had been at church this morning. ~ M. Coed
will was very interesting; and when he pray
ed for the absent ones"
swell, that accounts for it. I haven't
caught sucha string of fish for year as I did
this morning."
.Yop wicked wicked, thing" was all she
could say.
The late Judge W, on visit to Mag
ara, when the Car was in use on the inclined
plane, raised and lowered by steam power,
went into the starting house to witness the de-
scent, too timids togo himself After the car
had started, fully impressed with the danger,
he turned to the man in charge and said:
Suppose, sir, the rope should break ?" The
man, with q serious countenance and a single
eye on his business, replied. ss0h, they all
paid before theywent. IN 4S-aN-1
Very unpleasant comments are being made
on the action of Lord Ribblesdale, who. on
the ground of i'll health, did not accompany
his regiment, the First Battalion of the Rife
Brigade, to Afghahistan, though he is now en-
joying grouse shooting in England, which re-
quires robust health. He is the grandson of
Lord John Russell's first wife, Sir Maurice
Fitzgerald, the new Knight of Kerry, whose
recent bereavement might have excused his
remaining, threw up his aide-de-campship to
the Duke of Connaught, which gave him
right of exemption. and, like true Irishman,
disregarding all personal considerations, an
swered the cali when fighting was ahead.
{ Xxi lA,AClGsN1 "