Morning journal and courier., 1880-02-28
THIRTEEN, FIFTEEN, FOURTEEN.
Put away his crack-brain puzzle,
 He has climbed the asylum stair;

Numbers 13, 15 IA
 Turned his head, and sent him there. Utica Observer.
 Why is the vowel Co" the only one sound ed Because all the others inaudible.
 It's very curious thing that the Nihilists haven't tried kerosene lamp on the Czar.- Albany Times.
 Washington never told lie, butif the Gem Puzzle had existed in his day we fear that he might have-have said ''Oh, I've done it, done it lots of times; but 1 can't tell just how. ."-Boston Transcript.
 Noblesse Oblige.-Footman ''You've found a-what ?" Old Lady: "A shillin'. Did your mssus drop it p Footman "The idea We don't drop shillin's, mum. When we lose money, we lose gold!"-Funny Folks.
 Edith and Mabel had just put their dollies in their little crib, when Edith, with the ex- pression of one who has had great weight lifted from her shoulders, said, ''Therel Pm thankful we've got the children to bed We shall have little peace now!" Where in the world did she get such ridiculous notion P Boston Transcript.
 A big six-footer was lifting for all he YVES worth on a wagon wheel, which was stuck, when a little two-foot mite of humanity, nearly as broad as he was long, and just out of long dresses and into pants, with bis hands in his pockets and swaggering air, sang out :: s'Mister do you want me to help you? I can grunt while you lift"
 Once upon a time the mule, without having received an invitation, attended a convention of animals that was called for the purpose of discussing the best methods Of family gov ernment. ''What do you know about all this ?" asked the president, tauntingly "have you ever raised any children p The mule wept ''Ah, mo-" she said. 'I have never raised anything but full grown men but, land of the pilgrim you should see how raised them-you should see me raise man | that weighs as much as David Davis.' Upon 1 rising vote the mule was immediately elect l ed financial secretary, with power to send for l persons and dpapers.-Burlington HeWkeye. We have heard of great many extraordi- nary advertising tricks, but never did we hear of one equal to this: Harley is an hon. | orable inhabitant of New York. Harley, | furthermore, manufactures shoe-backing
 Harley took an airing the other day along one
 of the Hudson River piers, just as large ocean steamer was putting in, and the pier | was crowded with people. With his nose in
 the air, Harley walked innocently into the wa- l ter. Harley was not swimmer, as could be
 seen by the awkward manner in which he | Tapped the waves with his arms. Cries of | horror and terror rent the air, and from every | quarter flew small boats to the rescue of the | unfortunate Harley, who continued to houn- der about. On the steamer and pier thou | sand anxious persons ceased to breathe | Would Harley be saved :? Yes, he was about | to be saved The first one who reached the drowning man was 8 certain Harrington, a
 sailor and an intrepid swimmer, who had | plunged in to the rescue. With vigorous | arm, he raised the estimable Harley above the
 waves. But the latter, escaping suddenly 1 from his friendly grasp, struck out boldly, | swimming with the ease of shark; and then, | coolly raising his cane, which he had not let go, he unrolled from it long streamer bear 1 ing these words in beautiful black letters :: | ''Harleys Shoe Backing is the Best!"-Al-
 manaeh Amusant.
 | There was young girl named Kate, | Who on rollers thought she could skate; So she went to the Rink,
 Dressed in blue and pink And came home with lump on her pate.