St. Landry democrat., 1880-10-02
ALL SORTS.


Trusting to chants-expectlns 10
get to Heaven by singing Doe'on
Courier.
Nothing is wholly bad. Even
dark lantern hasits bright slde.-loaleni
Sunbeam.
You can never persuade man thata
paper that has his name i'll 1t isn't "orth
reading.
-"Yes,n said Johnny, "lapsus may be
the Latin for slip but When noenei
laps us it usually means slipper
The spots on the sun do not create
the disturbance produced by the treckles
on the daughter \ 1Onkers Statesman
-"Doctor, will you please examlnse, ne,
my tongue and tell me what 1T needs Z:
asked a woman of her physician. III
needs rest, madam
Size doesn't always count. A
woman will jump twice as hlsh at inc
sight of rat as she will at seeing an
elephant.
Never does man believe so strong
ly in the attraction OF gravltatlOn as
when he sits down in chair and finds
it gone.
A beggar held out his hand. II
haven't a cent" said the gentleman; II
did not specify the coin,' responded the
mendicant.
An Illinois girls toast: "The
young men of America-tiieir arms our
supporters, our arms their reward; fall
in, men, fall ill.,"
Some identified exchange has dis
covered that the god of lawyers is More
fee-us. The god of the undertaken is
probably A-pall, o!
-"Now, this is what | call business"
remarked Il Brooklyn undertaken, as an
unfortunate gentlemen stepped into his
store and died.
When a man keeps Oh talking to
you after he has said "a word to the wise
is sufficient" the time take summary
vengeance has arrived.
Diner (snifingly) )-"N aiter, I really
think this fish is not fresh :" Waiter
Yes, sir; can't answer for that sir; I've
only been 'ere week, sir"-[ Punch.
An Ipsilanti brother and sister de-
sire to marry, and their parents have
joined in asking for a license; but the
laws OF the State forbid such a union.
Tho Rev. Jasper, Of Virginia, is not
only convinced that the sun moves
around the earth, but that he has in-
vented way to preserve watermelOns
until spring.
-"Remembcr who you are talking to
sir" said IN indignant parent to Il frae-.
tious boy. 81 am your father, sir"
"Well, whose to bla nue. for that said
young impertinencc, taint me-"
The average plowman isn't much of
an orator, but when he takes the stumn
and gets yanked over into the next field
he is q very forcible speaker.-[Steu-
benville Herald.
In what condition was the Patri-
arch job at the end Of his life asked a
Brooklyn Sunday school teacher of q
quiet-looklng boy at the foot of the
class. "Dead," calmly replied the quiet
looking boy.
Seven Leavenworth doctors gath
cred around man who fell Oh the walk.
i our called it a case OF sunstroke and
the other three said it was fit. Along
came small boy and proved it was
banana peel.
twill 'oo know me, mamma, when
| we get to Heaven 7" said little 3-year-
old. "Oh, yes, dear, OF course, we shall
know eacl! other there. Do you think
You will know your mamma 9r "Oh.
'es. I'll know 'oo by 'oo wed hair.n
A young lady was taken to task for
to the practice on purely economical
grounds. 'How is that ?" asked her re-
proven. "Why," she replied, II lace
tightly simply to prevent waistfulness,s
| A Chinaman in Cincinnati, whose
| life was insured for large amount was
seriously hurt by falling from wagon.
There was some doubt about his ever
getting better, and at length one of his
| friends wrote to the insurance eompany
"Charley half dead; want half money.o
| "Whats the matter, my dear % said q
kind wife to her husband, who had SAT-
for half an honr with his head buried in
his hands, and apparently in great trib-
nlati0n. "Oh, | don't know, Pve felt
like a fool all day" "Wel,h said his
wife conssolingly. "yoq look the very