Morris tribune., 1880-12-02

L
from and after date, provided it don't snow
or blow" Speaking of time cards reminds
us of o joke, "Jim" M, clerk, sand
witched into time card he was copying
for s'old man" Delano. In the rules and
regulations on the back of the card there
always occurs the stereotyped phrase in
case Of doubt adopt the safe course" Jim
was tired of seeing the above in every time
card issued SO he made change to lin
case of doubt consult Hoyle." 1t is un-
necessary to add that there was no change,
neither was Jim's salary raised.
PRosPEcTIvE.-Owingto the blockade
of freight at Chicago and the refusal OF
roads running TO that city to carry flour
except in line cars, the prospects are
gloomy for speedy blockade of elevators
at intervening points. Owing to but light
shipments of flour the Minneapolis millers
will in all probability be forced to stop
grinding, as their storage capacity is about
exhausted The stoppage of the mills,
together with the crowded condition of the
terminal elevators, simply makes it aques-
ton of very few days ere all the country
elevators will be closed. At many points
on this line the houses are closed, and
have been for a week past. Two,thirds of
the storage capacity at this point is occu-
pied, and the remainder will be rapidly
consumed if shipments are stopped.
Two ACoRNs.-The Oakes Brothers
concert company gave very excellent
concert at Brisbine's hall on Tuesday even
ing, fully sustaining their previous de-
served reputution as Il first class company.
The ente rainmcnt was we'll patronized.
The entire programme being finely rem
dered and we'll received. each of the va
rious performers rendering their selections
and specialties in manner highly credita-
BILE and satisfactory Sam Hodgson and
Tommy Adams furnished the fun, and
while we missed Johnnie Prindle, yet their
character impersonations were well sus-
tanned, especially so Sans Alexander
McGlue" The musical selections rs rem
dered by the orchestra were very fine. in-
deed there could be no fault fonnd with
any portion of the programme. We hope
the company will again favor US with a
visit, and can assure them of cordial re-
cepticn should they do so.
The case of the state VS.. Chas CahnOW,
for the larceny of wood from the premises
of D. G Lindsey, has been long one, it
requiring the impannelllng of two juries
to decide the guilt or innocence of the ac'
cused The first jury failed to agree, or
agreed to disagree, they stood seven to five
in favor of aequittal, but as there was no
possibility of an agreement they were dis
charged. The accused Cahnow does not
have very good reputation in his own
neighborhood, indeed it would be almost
an impossibility to get a jury from among
his neighbors who would not believe any
charge against him. However, the second
jury was composed principally of business
men of the village, and the prisoner had
las good a jury as ever hung man." AT
ter n short discussion in the jury room a
verdict of guilty was rendered, and the JUS
tice imposed a fine of ten dollars and
costs, amounting in all to $39S6. A
rather expensive half cord of wood.
IT'S FINISHED The last spike has been
driven, and the last rail laid, on the Morris
6 Browns Valley branch, the work of the
track layers being finished, with the exc
Of ic hob Ia
that much will or Can be done toward bal
lasting the track this winter, but slow
train will probably be put on the line until
it can be ready and safe for trains to make
regular time. The completion of this line
will not effect business at this point to any
extent, as we will always have the advant.
age of freight rates, and will share the
benefits of the development of the territory
through which the line passes, and which
it will be Instrumental in bringing about
1t is generally admitted, and is no doubt
an indisputable fact that the steps taken
to build the Little Falls & Dakota, alarmed
the St. P, NJ & NJ railroad company
who built this branch simply to head of
and prevent any invasion of their territory
The Browns Valley branch opens up q
rich tract of newly settled country, and
will in time doubtless prove q paying en-
terprise. We congratulate our neighbol
to the west on their having secured raj
communication with Morris and the res
of the world, and we hope that they viii
find an early opportunity to visit our vii
lage, exchange greetings, and hold jolli
fication over the completion of an enter
prise which will prove mutually advant
. ageous.
The following joke on one of our ole
citizens has never appeared in print, bu
it is nevertheless too good to let slip A
year or so ago new tangled, non-smash
able lamp chimney was brought to thi
market by one of our merchants. Th'
sample box of chimneys were certainly O.
the very best quality of toughened glass
and one of the lamp chimneys could b.
handled roughly, even thrown against
hard floor, without breaking or injuring it
To be brief, our old citizen purchased ON,
of these chimneys and as he p!odded home
ward brilliant thought struck him III
! would fool his wife and family, by enter
5 ing the bouse. feigning intoxication, dasl
3 the lamp chimney on the floor, stamp it
: jump on it, kick it, in fine he had grant
9 programme arranged and had jolly time
! all to himself, imagining the looks of sur
t prise and CONSERVATION on the faces of hi
} family. On arriving at the door, he bang
7 ed his hat, chromo'd his face, reeled into
the room, gave grand flourish and dash
S ed that patent chimney on the floor, but
] alas, his fun stopped right there, that chin
ncy was either q fraud or else he threw i
too hard, for it was smashed to smithcr
! eens as soon as it touched the carpet. Fo
E the sake of history and sympathetic pos
| tcrity, we will add, that the said o. c. spen