The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-28
w inc and Otherwise.
Friendship is the wine of lift Young
It's said that Jonah was the first man to

z
/, Bunyan in prison, a Springfield clcrgym
1t said, NO one came to see him but
> blind daughter
" Let us never forget that 4 tax on inn
2, cent pleasures is i premium ON yicio1
) pleasures.--tM Macaulay.
ri What would be justly called flattel
! when offered to the powerful, is debt
d humanity to the fa1len.-( Macaulay.
E One Of the most interesting sights il Iii
h is that of a spiritulle young lady sharper
o ing lead pencil with table knife.
e There are bitterer partings than dealt
: and more heart-rending farewells tha
5 those which are breathed over the grave
tI-[F. II. Hedge.
Nothing is more needful to the health 0
( conscience than that our inward life an
our outward profession should be in ha.
mony.--[F. P.Cobbc
| The Rome Sentinel asserts that tn
healthy Indian is q we'll red man. If yo1
were to see him licking molasses ont Of tn
bottom Of government bucket, you's
think he was /. pail-faced man.
We judge from some remarks by Mr.
Denis kearneF, on the adoption of the new
Constitution in California, that this fearfn
document provides that everybody shal
move out except Mr.. Kearney
1t is said that Napoleon the Great has
no liking Or appreciation for anything
humorous. This can hardly be true, fo1
/ did he not--Was not tlle--well, wasn't il
Napoleon who-why, who edited the Ven
dome column anyhow:
Little do men perceive what solitude is
and how far it extendeth for Il crowd is
not company and faces are but a gallery OF
pictures and talk but q binding symbol
where there is 10 love- Bacon.
1t not by turning over libraries, but by
repeatedly pernsing and intently contem-
I plating few great models that the mind
is best diciplineG. Ii Mataulay.
.N ere there any aliens and strangers
among the Jews ut the time Of their Journey
! to the Promised Land:: asked the super
intendent, last Sunday NO sit, = replied
the smart bad boy or the back sent, ''they
We're to the mama born. I" School closed
with singing.
"sandy, what is the state of religion in
your town." .sBad, sir; very bad. There
are no Christians except David and my
self, and have my doubts about David y
Anon.
"Julils, did you attend de last meeing
oh de debating society?' s'Yes, sir.n
swell, what was de fust ting dat cum aforc
de house" .Why, it was charcoal
cart
The following epitaph is simply Il sign
of the times. It repeats in verse what we
have all thoughtil. prose:
SDrawbridgc shut the signal said
'Twasnt shut Alas, how solemn.
Such is life. See list of dead
On tle other side this column
The movement to do away with the sys-
tenn Of treating" is making progress.
The Brooklyn Club follows the example
Of the 'tAfotlcrate Drinkers Association, ;"
and the members are signing a pledge not
to drink ut any one eEse's expense and
not to ask any one to drink at their cx-
pense.
A reward having been offered for a rhyme
to Arkansaw, the Arkansas Traveller set
its machine to work, and ground out the
following:
There is Il man up here in ArkansuW.
Who can saw as much as his ma can saw:
But give him an ak,
And with one or two whacks
HI chop up more logs than his pa
HIS REvENGE.-An angry husband said
to his wife. sSar boo to me again, mad
am, and Eli apply for 4 diyorce.' Boo.
you great IDIOT" exclaimed the. angry
wife. Very well, madam. answered the
husband ssro be reyenged on you, I'll
marry my mother-in law, and then Eli be
your step-fatler!!'' -
The PuRsrT or ScIEScE, Pretty but SCI
e@t.fc Goternes&-'s Pray, can we obtain a
specimen Of this minez" Miner (gallant-
ly)-''Well, miss, this cre's IL Worketl-out
mine, and lis three the only specimens
left At your humble service, miss, I'm
slre'
THE BEUsH.--An artist who has just re-
eeived his letter Of rejection from the Art
Club, says, disconsolately, to his bootblack,
s'All, Jerry, it is notall rose color i'll my
profession Il know it, boss, know it:
for do | not also handle the brush? ~
.1GLosE CALcGLArIoS.--Co Country School
yaaSter.-" many hens have youz"
Boy-s Well, one died, and tile other didn't
live, ,sehool,naster---ssTh You have
none" B0y---..O, yes. We have six that
ain Matched yet,
EMEARRAssED.---An embarrassed actor
fastened upon the stage of a San Francisco
theatre, recently, in scene depicting q
robbery in a hotel office and shouted,
Gag the safe, while blow open the nigh
clerk,
In the New York Board OF z1ldermen a
motion was made to purchase twelve gon-
dolas forCcntrul Park. This was opposed
by L member, who thought the motion eS-
traFagant as to numbers, so he moved as
an amendment that they purchase only two
gnndolas, i male aud female, und trust TO
the future 1os Increase.
Nine. a., discovering that her new
cooks marketing accounts are not like
CHsar's wife, delivers u powerful elocution
Htotlle domestic. Have pity on me, mad
anne, cries the servant, and have pa
tience. | have not been long in Paris,
madame; but give me another chance, and
| you will see il, / dom inproye-sce if you
can detect me
storyis told Of 4 sexton Of Biggar,
who, on one occasion. Was staring and
gloaycring at Sandy MeLatchie, as the lat
ter was zigzagging his way |lomeWards,
This was evidently too much for Sandy's
patience, for, turning round e auld
! sgraVe-digger clod-hopper, exclaimed San
f.dy, On catching the seSton's eye, sye
medina stare and tax stock o me: gang
to GarIlke shetI am buried !!
4 Fire. At 4 theatre, the other even
ing. d man at the baclSo of the audience NUT
tered between acts that there WAS q large
| fire down town Immediately ninety
seven men said 70 their ladies', will go
ont and see whether It is Ill the direction
of our offiee They al returned at the
beginning Of the next :et, and reported,
II ., it is in a different direction One
intlisereel eHngg lady was heard to remark,
ItIattst have betna fire inaeIove factory. z
i q tEE s. -..'1 = ouilg man, DO you
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