Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-10-14
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

A bang is becoming to many ladies.
But when they plaster the short hair
to the forehead with bandoline the
bang becomes detestible.
"Bill, spell cat, rat, hat, with only
one letter for each word" at can't
be did" Cant, ell! Just look here
C so cat. T. 50 rat, h so hat"
If Gabriel reads all the obituaries on
tombstones he will think many bodies
got into the wrong grave, when he sees
the owner answering the summons Of
his bugle.
In all guns of great calibre you find
great bore. In man Of small call
bre you find great bore. Conclusion:
A man of small calbre may easily pass
for great gun.
A person who took the trouble to
save and weigh the clippings Of his fin
ger nails during one year, found that
he had half an ounce. This represents
their yearly growth.
The report of an Irish Benevolent
society says: Notwithstanding the
large amount paid for medicine and
medical attendance, very few deaths
occurred during the year"
"Who do you love?" said Jones to his
sweetheart'S baby sister. 81 loves oo,"
was the reply. "And who does Sissy
love?" Sissy loves Mister Smif, toss
he tisSes 'er." Euettnt omneS.
The man who lOafs his time away
around a one horse grocery while his
wife takes in washing to support him,
can always tell you what this country
needs to enhance its prosperity
Its nice to have slippers given to
you said the naughty boy who had
Just been corrected, when he saw the
fine pair his big brother received from
his girl; "but it makes all the difference
how you take them"
A Southern paper tells of physician
who presented his bill to his patient for
medicine and visits. The patient re-
piled that he would pay for the medi.
cine as soon as possible, and that he
would try and return the visits.
The latest freak Of fashion among
English ladies is to carry tasseled
canes, And as they stride along in
the English fashion, they carry the
cane in way to give an impression OF
"a swashing and martial outside"
To get into railway car and find
in it half-dozen women dressed in
bright scarlet cloth mantles is enough
to make ones eyes ache. And the
eyes ache often in Canada, for the
ladies of that country travel in mantles
of the color named.
An Observing five year-old boy in
quired of his mother lately. "Do men
love tobacco, mammal" 81 think not"
she replied. well, / thought So" re-
piled the youngster, "for after they
take Il bite, | see 'em trying to spit it
out"
What earthly use is it," exclaimed
u Washington swell, the other morning,
"our twying to be awistocwatic, monar-
chial, and that sort of thing, when
senator of the United States eats pea
nuts while widing in a stweet car.
We're nothing hut how'd wepublic,
after all"
The late DR.. Bethune asked mOrose
and miserly man how he was getting
along. The man replied; what
business is that of yoursY Said the
loctor: "Oh, sir, | am one of those
who take IN interest even in the mean
'st of Gods creatures.
Mr.. Matthew Arnold, Of worldwide
'amc as an English writer and author,
md as 4 logical thinker and posseSsor
't superior critical acumen, character
2eS the present condition of English
ociety as that of IAN upper class ma
erialized, middle class yulgari2ed and
/ lower class brutaized."
The natives of Bagdad and its visi-
ors are subject to peculiar sore,
which usually makes its appearance
lpon the face and leaves an indelible
mark about the size and shape of
late. 1t takes almost year for the
ore TO run its cOurSe-and no treat
nent 50 far applied has had any effect
IpOn it.. An American physician has
Ound that il is due to Il fungoid
'rOwth.
The custom of putting large straw
'errieS at the top of the basket and
mailer and poorer ones below, seems
ot TO be of purely American inven-
ion, being mentioned by Queen Eliza
eth, who said of her ministers:
when first chosen by me, all goes
veil, for they do put forth their best
irtues like the large Strawberries in
larket-basketS; but by-and-by small
ices and faults appear in them like
he littler fruits hidden beneath the
ig."
A young man in Dubuque, Iowa, has
ecOme partially deranged over mus
ache which refuses to sprout, He
vas formerly happy and good-temper-
d. He is now morOse despondent
nd melancholy, One day he visited a.
'rominent drug store and purchased
il the different hair restoratives to be
lad. After completing the rounds he
arried the bottles to his room and put
hem aside for future use. When he
eft the room his sister found over
hundred bottles in the bedtick, and all
we're warranted to cause hair to grow
n the smoothest skin.
Brown went home tired out from
ares of business and attention 10
reditors, and sat on the stoop to rest
nd smoke. His wife, laboring under
he impression that she ought to do
TO entertain Lin, seated
erself at his side, and, in wifely,
heering way, told him that there was
10 sugar in the house, that John Henry
ad got to have new pair of shoes,
nd that the badly had broken the
Mirror. Brown got up and took
valk around the block, and his wife
omplains that he doesn't seem to care
or her company as he used to before
hey were married
Cheap Prices for Wives.
ochcstor Express.