Morning journal and courier., 1880-07-30
TESTS FOR Co1oR-BLINDNEss.

"How sad!" exclaimed one blade of pair of scissors to the other; ''how sad! We only meet to sever !"
 A lady residing in one of our suburbs boasts that her daughter is not only studying Latin and Greek, but Transcript"
 The individual who called tight boots con- fortable, defended his position by saying they made a man forget all his other trou- bles.
 A witness in the police court lately stated |: ''I told him if he wouldn't be took by fair means, I'd send for policeman" Rather rough on the force, this.
 A Haddonfeld Cape May) sign reads: 'Is cream salon cakes, prettzells and canddy and cigars oysters and lodging and horses wat tered constantly on hand"
 An old angler says that fish does not sui fer much pain from being hooked. Of course not. It is the thought of how his weight will be lied about that causes him anguish
 Young Farmer-''Are you fond of beasts, Miss Gusherton?' Miss Gusherton-''Oh, really, AIr. Pawker, if you mean that 6 declaration, you must speak to mamma"
 A clean s cheek ''-E1aminer: What is the meaning of the verb prepare 2 Small boy; ls'Dunno, sir" Examiner: "What did you do before you came in for examina- tion?' Small boy: "Er-washed my face" Fun.
 Paris Bohemian Is telling his mode of life to friend from the provincial districts. ''In the morning awake" says he, land ring for my valet de chambre." :" ''How! you keep a valet de chambre ?' ''Well, no but l keep bell"
 speculator on the Paris Bourse consults a physician. ''The feverish life which you are leading is killing you. If you don't quit it in less than year you will be Q dead man. :" ayo1oiroa1 4ha ST1notatnT of I only sure of it! What Q deal! I'd insure myself for million"
 s'You know,'' said Plato to Socrates, ''that melons must be kept cool" Socrates nodded assent. 'Now," continued Plato, Eff melons were very scarce and descendants of Ham very numerous in the vicinity, how would you keep your melons cool and se- cure ?'' 'tpd put them," replied Socrates, Gin chilled iron safe.''
 Little Robby came home with his new hat limp as dish-cloth ''For goodness sake '' cried his mother, "where have you been f' Bobby began to whimper as he replied, "A feller threw my hat into the frog pond " ooh, Robby!' exclaimed his sister, ''you threw it in yourself. l saw you do 1t v, Well, :" said Bobby, contemptuously, Jain . I feller."
 Some dialogues heard at seaside hotel : A gentleman just arrived IS shown to his room. ssThunder." :" he says, 'Is this the room you've reserved for me? I can't stand up in it." s.If you'll just raise the skylight, sir you can stand up very comfortably. Wal ter, bawls a red-faced man at a corner table in the dining room, which overlooks the ocean, 'Waiter, this fish isn't fresh!" "Sorry for it, sir. Can't help it, sir. The train for Boston was late last night" An other diner calls, Waiter, a beefsteak. :" ''Yes, sir all right sir. The butcher will be here at seven o'clock tomorrow morning, exactly" Another voice from the dining room: "Confound it, waiter, do you mean to say you haven't any oysters ?" Oysters 1? Oh. no sir. We don't have oysters in the summer, only visitors"
 A manufacturer of Bradford, Eng, who had made a composition with his creditors, WAS under cross-examination. ''Now, sir, :" cried Mir Bagwig, ferociously, "attend to me. Were YOU not in difficulties a few months ago ?'' "Noa' 'eWhat sir Attend to my question. I ask you again-and pray be careful in answering, for you are upon your oath, need hardly remind you-Were you not in difficulties some months ago?" "Noa, not as I knows of" ''Sir, do you pretend to tell this court that you did not make com position with your creditors a few months ago?" 'Oh. ah "a bright smile of intelli- gence spreading over the ingenious face of the witness -''that's what you mean, is it 1? But, ye see, it were my creditors were I the oiIncultles Gnen' sh Ao' me
 Local item from the Figaro
 'HThe named D., merchant of horses, dwelling street Labat 12, has the habitude of re-entering enough late and often in state of intoxication. The before last night, as he was ringing him, towards one hour of the morning. the ianitor made him one observa- tion, which made him put himself in one vlo- lent choler, and it is in expanding himself ln insults that he mounted his four stages.
 Arrived there, did he mistake himself, or would he one last time apostrophlze the lani- tor object of his fury? We know not. That which there is of certain, unhappily, is that he opened the window, and that yesterday morning at 5 o'clock Mme D., in raising herself, apperceived in the court beneath this window the corpse inanimated of her husband The unhappy was smashed him self the skull in his descent New York World