The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-06-11
PITH AND POINT.
CLARENDON, Ark.

THE Jockey leans on $40 gait.
A MAN may be right and yet be left.
WHEN the slow eater calls for catchup
he means business.
SPEAKING of reptiles, is Landlord.
Fill the Flowing Bowl" treat ode?
WHAT do you most like next to your
self ?" asks an exchange. A gauze-siik
undershirt, if the weather is very hot.
81 DON'T mean to reflect on you" said
one man to another. "No, F." was the re-
ply, "you're not polished enough to
reflect upon anybody"
The puzzle blocks originated in Phil
adelphia, where the blocks of houses are
so much alike that man is puzzled to
know when he gets home.
The Philadelphia North american
tells of man given up by the doctors.
When a man is given up by the Phila-
delphia doctors it is strong evidence that
his money is all gone.
NEVER be afraid of man who chal-
lenges you to fight duel. He will feel
all that you can feel, and more too. The
man who rushes at you with spade is
ID Ou6 CHAP 10 look OUT IOf.
FIND out your child's speciality" is
the urgent advice of a phrenologist.
When you have tried this, you will find
it not SO easy. Sometimes rock candy
seems to be the favorite, and then again
there is marked tendency to taffy.
ROBERT, who fears he is rejected
But you know, Rebecca, we are COM
manded to love everybody" Rebecca
=" Yes, and so I do love everybody"
Robert (pinaforically)-" What, every
body?" Rebecca (shyly)-"Well, you
know present company is always ac-
cepted."
JONES propounded the following the
legged tea: "Why is this drink like
milk ?" Of course nobody could guess,
and after he had divulged by saying it
was a lack-teal fluid, nobody dared to
smile. They knew that the landlady's
eyes were upon them.
WHEN Jones is asked by the "boys,"
in the presence of Mrs. j., to go on
gander party, and the lady of his heart
says, with her peculiar rising infection;
Clones p he knows that the unit rule
will be enforced, and quickly answers
"Should like to go, boys; but, pom
honor, I believe I'm engaged that
night.
A SUCCESSION of direful Shrieks is
heard on the first floor. Fond mother
-"What is the matter with Billy ?"
Colored servant Please, ma'am, he's
crying about de jewberries. "He
can't have any more. He has had four
saucerfuls already" "Dem is de berry
ones he am whooping about. He's all
swolled up. "--GalveSto,o NeeOS.
A WOMAN bought circus ticket for
herself, and then, taking boy fully Is
years old in her arms, she wrapped a
shawl around him and started in.
"That's pretty big baby you have
there" said the man as she came up.
"Big? Why, you ought to see his
brother !"-Detroit Free Press.
AT legal investigation of a liquor
seizure the Judge asked an unwilling
witness, "What was in the barrel that
you had?" "Well, your Honor, it was
marked whisky on one end of the bar
rel and Pat Duffy on the other end, so
that can't say whether it was whisky
or Pat Duffy that was IN the barrel, be-
ing as [ am on my oath.
A DAMsEL from over the river was
looking over some books In Quincy
bookstore, endeavoring to make selec-
ton, when the clerk asked, Chow
would you like the 'Autocrat Of the
Breakfast TableY" She replied: ooh.
we've got two of 'em now, one of 'em
just as good as new-only been washed
twice. "-MOde1ra A4'gO.
AN agricultural paper has an article
on Washed and Unwashed Butter"
It says that the markets now demand
that butter shall not only be fresh and
rosy, but be properly worked and
washed. A pound of butter that comes
into market without having its face
washed and its hair combed is not very
inviting, that's fact. -NorriStoaO9
Herald.
LORD BEAcoNsFIELD is completing a
novel which he began long ago. Queen
Victoria has shown her kindly feeling
for him by hanging his full-length por-
trait at Windsor. Somebody, it is said,
once asked him how it was that the
Queen showed him so much favor, and
got simple answer: "Well- er-the
fact is, I-er-never contradict, and
err sometimes-er forget"
IT'S sweet in the dim moonlight
To wander forth to meet her;
And the zephyrs blow you onward go
There's nothing that is sweeter!
You sing song you walk along,
And think how happy you shall greet her;
But your MARBLES hushed and your hopes are
crushed,
Together with that 'skeeter."
-HackenSdck Republican.
A GLASS manufacturer of Leeds, En-
gland, widower with five children,
proposed to woman whom he under
stood to be SO years of age. Finding,
however, that she was younger, he wrote
that he would prefer her elder sister.
She replied that he was insulting, and
she hoped the matter would end there