The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1880-03-04
VARIETIES.

Persons with q strong "turn" for
neutrality-suspicious.. -
Did you ever see dog bark his
shins?-Philddelphia Hens.
Money is the mean mans conun-
drum and he never gives it up.
An eagle on q ten dollar gold-piece
is worth Ave hundred in the air.
II law was justice everybody could
be his own lawyer.-Free Press.
poor relation-The crude effort
OF . story-writer.- r.-Ayneriean Rsseh-
"A ConRressman's letter il ever
frank. and postal-card is always open.
The best remedy for cold feet is to
call at . house where they keep q big
dog and don't feed him very high
Free Press.
Scientific men tell us that the earth
is but q crust, and every live man
wants to belong to the upper crust
NJ O. Re0yHne- .-.,..
is no such thing as loves young dream.
There is no dream about it. but great
deal of foolishness. y s-
There being 200 kinds of weeds
in the United States, the editor of the
Syracuse Herald gives fair notice that
he Shall do his gardening hereafter sole.
ly BY substitute.
Twenty one new planets were dis
covored last year, but yet the world
must go right on putting up the same
sort Of stovc-pipe invented fifty years
ago. Our wise men look too high.
"A man working for ninety cents q
day feels Just as elated to know that the
country is safe as the millionaire who
lives on his interest, and as . rule he
will de- more to save it.zFree Press.
( IA bog who wont take IS big . bite
as he can from another boys apple is
Disgusting his real feelings and should
be narrowly watched, lest he make Q
sudden grab and run off with the whole.
Did you ever consider the despot-
ism of kissing? The men kiss the wom-
en- without caring whether it is agree
able or otherwise, and the women kiss
the defenseless babies remorselessly.-
Boston Transcript.
The Lacrosse Democrat remarks
that there are several successful cases
of nose grating, but if surgical science
will discover some way to graft mans
nose ON to his own business exclusively,
it viii call it q good scheme.
The young man who proposes to go
West and grow up with the country
has fine chance to buy farm in Kan
sas ffty-one miles long by thirty eight
wide, which is to be sold at auction to
satisfy mortgage of 81, ,000. 900.
-"What's in q namer' All, Will
lam, you didn't know everything, that s
certain. Salt can be bought for few
cents o quart, but call it chloride Of
sodium, and the apothecary will mulct
You to the tune of half dollar for one
poor scruple.
-Krupp has invented needle-gun
warranted to kill 200 men per minute.
In case the American Association OF
Amateur Poets carries out its expressed
intention of holding . convention in
Chicago next summer, Mr.. Krupp's in
vention will receive q Chicago
Tribune.
-" Looking mp into the heavens on q
still, clear night" says Prof. Proctor,
eve are struck with sense of quiet
and harmony" This is an indication,
then, that the cat whose duty it is al
ways to disturb that pleasant order OF
things, has been previously struck with
the sense of q brick.-HasOk-Eye.
Some people have . hard time OF
it We know young man who bears
the highly elegant name of Lawrence
S. st. Clair, and yet he's made quite
unhappy by it. He wants to adopt the
English fashion of writing ones name,
and L. Snodgrass st. Clair, doesn't
sound quite 90 well as he desires.-Bos
ton Posi-
DR.. Pruden walked into q prayer
meeting at Benton, Mimi, with an open
Bible in one hand and cooked pistol
in the other. He said there had been
altogether too much controversy over
the meaning of q certain Scriptural pas.
sage, and that he meant to kill anybody
who differed from him on the subject.
He was hurried off to an insane asylum.
"A lady in Lowndes County, Ala.
bama, who had been wealthy, but Is
now poor, clipped her magnificent haiI
and gave, it to the yellow-fever suffer.
ers. It realized large sum, and the
back to the donor. Since then the lady
and it was rafied in Montgomery fol-
eighty dollars.
Mexican revolutions come along
with 4s0onomlcaI regularity. An army
Of hundred or so OF vagabonds is en-.
listed under self-styied General, aHd
war declared In . sonorous pronucia-
mento. The usua! lending is q hle OF
soldiers, with leveled guns, bedrag.
gled General. with his eyes bandaged,
. tWo-dollar coffin and q little mother
eartn.-61c"onge.
The largest furniture manufactory
in St Louis is . co cooperative concern,
each OF the ITO skilled workman being
moro th.n N t~entv - as1s ~ S Sas each An Tbsr
are chiefly German Socialists. Only
ten per cent: OF the capital was paid in
a. nrss credit being obtained for about
$U.U0 OF woooworking machinery,
ana the DIVIDENDS have since been suf-
ncient TO meet the assessments as they
fel due. The men receive ordinary