The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1880-03-26
HASH.

The good physician carries his skill
in his heals.-Ptiladelphia Chronicle.
A ton of gold makes fraction oyd
a half million Of dollars.
1t is easy to breakfast in bed if
will be satisfied with few rolls and d
| turnover.
| A girl who has just acquired a beau
thinks she is a lap ahead Of her beauless
friend i'll the matrimonial race.
Eve was the first and only woman who
didn't gather up her dress in both hands
and yell at the sight Of Il snake.
An irebriate prone in the gutter, ex-
planned that he was doing his level best.
Spirit level.-Cincinnati Saturday Night.
A small boy. arrested for throwing
stones at the windows of Indep endence
Hall, got off on the plea that he was on
ly rocking the cradle of liberty.
The style for this year: Young lady
of the period-"Governor $40 please. I
am going to take gentleman to party
tonight, and want a carriage"
She said Il am going to the post office,
John; shall inquire for YOU p "Well,
yes, if You have mind to; but don't
think you will find me there
In the stomach Of Pennsylvania COW,
recently killed, were found seventeen
wrought iron nails. She was cowhide
outside and oxide inside. .-B0ston Tran
script
THE grass is turnng green," was the
observant remark of IL young man es-
corting pretty damse across the COM
mon, and the sauGy miss replied that he
had got ahead of the grass by a number
of days.
Professor: "Wll you mention some
liquid that is lighter than water?" Jun
ior: alcohol" Professor: Can you
mention any other with which you are
famiiar?' Junior Immediately searches
for club.-Co7ege Newspaper.
A California boy stood an umbrella in
a public doorway during a religious meet
ing. To this umbrella was attached
strong cord, an end of which the boy held
in his hand. Eleven different persons are
said to have carried the umbrella to the
length of the string.
A meddesome old woman was sneer-
ing at young mothers awKwardness
with her infant, and said Il declare, a
woman never ought to have baby un-
less she knows how to hold it," Nor
tongue. either quietly responded the
young mother.
An Irishman was ihdulging in the
very intellectual occupation of sucking
raw eggs and reading newspaper. By
some mischance he contrived to bolt a
live chicken. The poor bird chirruped
as it went down his throat, when he
very coolly said, "By the powers, my
young friend you shpoke too late ?"
Fond du Lac is shocked at dry goods
firm that advertises "a grand opening in
corsets." Well, how do the people ex-
pect corsets to be used, if not opened?
You can't melt women and run into
them. They have got to have grand
opening, or else have rubber strings, so
they can be put on like pants.
Art received rather an awkward eriti-
cism from free and easy Young man.
who recently met sculptor in social
circle and addressed him thus: "Er-so
you are the man -er-that makes-er
mud headsP" And this was the artists
reply: 'Er-er, not all of 'em; didn't
make yours"
An Eaglish girl wants to know how
Ong girls should be courted --ErclGnge.
)ur opinion may not be worth much in
ucn matters, ON we thlnk long gifl
hould be courted in the same manner
$ short girls are courted-with operas.
arriage rides, confections, sitting up
lights and so forth. If man can't
ourt long girl without carrying a
tep ladder when he goes to see her. he
ad better resign in favor OF some one
vho can.
A conceited fellow. in introducing his
riend into company, said. Gentlemen. l
ssure you he is not so much ofa fool as
g seems" The gentleman Immediately
eplied, 'That is exactly the difference
etween my friend and myself"