Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1880-03-06
The Cid Family Journal.
VARIETY.

tack points hcaveawsrl when it u'a's I
mischief
The rotb3, IS tn.id, but no cook can make /
him quail
Patieoec d,6acs little shl, is wait a wee
.lit aad 6;una Get Tired.
Tho ma,rou Of a nursery calls herself The
queen cf ioe oawl room.
A horse feeds cpriously-eatins best when
he has rot a bit 10 Sis mouth.
Indians tevcr Hiss each other, and, having
seen q few, we don't blame 'en.
The world viii praise philosopher but
toss pennies into I Monkeys cap.
The raw turuip aud The cucumber 10 their
best Sighting srer ,tey ave down.
4 practical ose is poor fon because the
laugh dves uot reach ail ,le way roaod.
Mertiug blue stockings with white yarn
makes them a da,ned sight too conspicuous
The man who sat down on seine carpet
brads said they reminded him Of the ineon
tax.
A physiocuoui,t says that large ears deuote
generosity. which Is probably the reason Why
mule sq-aucers lis hind legs.
Salt water will prevent the bair from falling
oui. DO, 10 prevent its being pulled out get
home early.
When q cat gives an entertainment from the
SOP 4 WALL 8, isn't tia cat We Object g., It's
tLe waUl
A poet oui West. describing Heaven saws.
It's a world Of bliss fenced ia with girls -
Wlcrs is ,ie man that WON'T repent nov
"Your kindness wi'l ever live as a green's
20, 10 Nv memory said tie tramp as be
fshed Up ,hc last collari leaf out Of the pot
liquor
Il singula, fact tio, n man who is second
in command 90 bone always wants Co rule
tbe whole Of creation when be gets outside bis
yard gate.
Unless man m,rrias aud becomes father
his mission on earth IS not accomplished We
can prove tbs T., ,le furniture maa who sells
cradles.
Toe editor Of an Illinois daily paper says
ths, De does not depend upon journalism for
rs daily bread. but raises hens. We wonder
yhoss heus he raises
This simple ucdical advice for curing a
pimple il givca by iss Rockland Courier. -
First hold The pimYle ever a slow FIRE uuti il
cones 20 o boil; then bust t.
A Michigan tramp, who has been shot at
fge times Us farmeT's wives. says De has only
90 watch tle euj of the gun 10 avoid the cou-
.euis. es woman always shuts both eyes
when sae pulls the trigger.
Said O parent to his lii,le son who had COM
mlttsj some act Of iHdiscrst0u, "D 10 You
knos that ] am coise 60 whip you 20 d" Yes,
said tAe boy, 90 suPpose you are. because you
ars bigger than avn"
"N5."sa:ia Philadelphia undertaken. "bus-
mess ias uot revived as !; should What We
need To- ,his country b make things boom is
the choiess. yellow fever, or soma otccr cpl
demic"
4 g7esub back paper Of Maine pleasantly says
q AZ esteemed contemporary iu tae same iue
of business that is has got 90 be q t,i-weekly
Z; comes oli Gee wees. and t7ss TO come out
tSe next"
The average housewife will taks more pains
90 carry a siskiy Gfteen-ceut plant Though
four mouth: O.; winter :hsu che will 90 Keep
butter on be i1r.oe three moa,hs q bot
weather
Show your colors f,adtica!,y ycHs O
Temperance eSchsrge Vow we protest. 10
the o,me % dscency. why Should e mnc show
ais c5,o,s. especially Il be Wears nd hAonc
uRlsfslirt.
An sxchaoRe says the mar who turned of
Ihc GAS 90 a .itizeuS' meeting in Dubuque
WAS never found, bus tho jsnisor picked up
tscnty-seveu battered haze aud Ughl paiu
Of spectacle 30 the morning
A Msoi,aba Ialiao has BILLED and eaten BIZ
mother bis wife and his children. This opens
upa uew field q uscfl,uess ~ hmil.es.-
Geut.efaeo wt1 ceupel tbeir wives 60 support
chem piesss take rotcc.
Gaze drives the nails 10 oar cafios. bat wh,t
man can feel jllly when AIS wife jaiiy hands
lin lis; % neichbors -ho have e; twice as
uiaay b3auc,s as she h,s. aud their husbands
90. earaing bait bis salary.
A lajy stepped ilto store as3 asked the
CLERK IL Dc hNl any rock candy. NJ
nalan. la replied, 81 haven't any s,ck
saaly but here a bg,cl Eou'Ee welcome 20 ID
IL oi.l answer your purpose.
Glow are yor. Smil 90 SAID Jones Smith
pretending uo, 90 kuow bin. AID replies hesi-
iaungly Sir. you have tie advantage Of
ne" Yes. f,:orts Jones. d" suppose any
body Las shafts get common sense.
Our lady friends vi. make a note Of the
following. shah hereafter darn your
stockings is SAID 90 De ,se fashionable lau-
glagc fra youag lady 90 Use when making a
lsap-ysar proposal
A Maine uac. who dil-'t care two shakes
e lambs rau about tie newspapers, rode
fourteen nies through fierce STOW storm O.
&C., q copy q weekly ilat spoke Of h'm as
prominent citz,u.
Jones saws Bis wife Is tbe most thrifty WOE
man Ore ever knew Way. sir. he saws.
she has me'e en- bel,prais during TIE last
$50 years. made them ksrseif. sir, out of the
samples size collected 30 t,- shopping touls
l-f.ag tLsl sine.
patiecco weary oae p.tccce. D5u; be iu
t-1 liz q hurry. A western womaa poured
cccstoaci poison % hsg handkerchief Uc
other ui gilt s.. srea, was Der hurry, aal u
di,eel minutes tle cor-l-r Lad charge Of The
BODY
Iaers isa village ir Ncw Hampshire which
h-s p51,1col tvel'y-sN editors. IL was 10
rffr.s-.r 3D. oh. 90 r-refa-..a ff..t t-.,.- Ian,