Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1880-07-24
PASSING SMILES.

LETTERS must he wicked things. They
are always indicted.
Morro for the mikman-to the pure
ali things are pure.
"WH,T is y"ur favorite gem, Sarah?'
Sarah replied drmurcly. "A gate" Melo-
drama.
4 COUPLE "f soldiers of the Salvation
Army approached Il Philadelphia broker
recently and asked: How is it with
you. my fri"nd?" ~ am short on Read
ing. replied the broker.
WEALTHY CAD Look here-bring
me some dinner. old man. The best
you've got Rcstauratcur-" Diner n
III carte. Wsiuf" Cad Cart be
hanged Dinner a iCr cdrri0ge."
THEY say, "tis darkest Just before the
dawn" but the man who got up at mid
night to hunt for lone match on the
corner of the wash-stand can't see how it
could be any darker
81 PIT outside my window large box
filled with mold. and sowcd it with seed.
What do YOU think came up?" Wheat,
barley or oats?' Mo- policeman, who
ordered me to remove it.
THE discouraged collector again pre-
sented that little matter. "Well, said
his friend. "you are round again?"
"Yes, saws the fellow, with the account
In his hand, "but J want to get square.
"LADIEs and gentlemen" said an Irish
manager to his audience of three, "as
there is nobody here. I'll dismiss you all.
The performance of this night will not be
performed, but will he repeated to-mor
row evening"
A LITTLE boy entered the fish market
the other day. and seeing for the first
time pile of Holsters lying on the coun-
ter, looked at them intcntlv for some time,
when he exclaimed: "Thems the big
gest grasshoppers | ever seen."
WHATS mamma. methcglin, ambrosia and sich
To Ole O'Margarine?
In odor so fragrant, in cul,r 81 rich
Oh OMargarine?
Thou gule-s Of pastures and milk maids smilss.
Thourt guilless Of churning and dairy maids
Thourt guilty If naught but inscrutables lies
Ole OMaryarine.
"IF this coffee is gotten up in board
ing house style again tomorrow morning,
/ think l shall have good grounds for a
divorce" said Il cross husband the other
morning. II don't want any of your
saucer" retorted his wife, land what
I've sediment.
A FRIEND who latcl.. called on tho
Premier found him quiet, but not without
CLEAN of his peculiar saturnine humor
"It is strange thing" said he; "but
people keep calling at this house, and
asking after meas though 1 had had
child!'
Mr.. MAYLUM remarked to Erskine that
his physician had forbidden his bathing
at Brighton. "You are NAHUM pro-
hibitun'," said Erskine. "But," con-
tinued Mr. Maylum, "he says my wife
may bathe." "Ah," replied Erskine,
she is mdi,tm IN sc"
"TEN dimes make one dollar" said
the schoolmaster. Now go on, sir.
Ten dollars make One-what?' "They
make one mighty glad these times" re-
piled the boy; and the teacher, who
hadn't got his last months salary vet,
concluded that the boy was about right
The Chicago Mfcr-O ocean having come
to the conclusion, tha. "a full-grown man
who throws banana pcels upon the side
walk is no Christian" the Cincinnati
Commercial anxiously inquiries "Well,
what dc yon think Of the banana peel
that throws a full-grown man upon the
sidewalk p
WHILE Bishop Ames was presiding over
a conference in the west member began
a trade against unive. sites, education,
etc, thanking God that he had never
been corrupted by contact with college.
After proceeding hus for few minutes
the bishop interrupted him with the
question: "Do 1 understand that the
brother thanks God for his ignorance ?"
"Well. yes" was the answer; "you
can put it in that way if you want TO-"
"Well. all I have to say, said the bishop,
in his sweet, musical tones, sis, that the
brother has Q great deal to thank God