Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1880-09-24
Spoopendyke's Suspenders.
Brooklyn Eagle.

NAS"F
cleaned these trowsers up first rate.
This is what I call economy. It
saves money.If I'd taken thenz to
the taylSr's It would have Z cost "a
couple Of dollars at least, and you've
saved just that AMOUNT and Mr..
Spoopendyke.went to his ablutions
and then pulled on his shirt.
"I'll eleapsyoqr7 coat too, if you
like" said SGMrs, : lSpoopepdyka
Leave it at home some day and I'll
take sthis spot out of the sleeve"
and Mrs. Spoopendyke hustled
around andslooked delighted with
the idea Of pleasing her husband.
"Where's my. suspenders," asked
Mr.. Spoopendy Ike, tscrewing himself
around and looking down his back.
''You didn't cleanCthe suspenaers
clear out Of sight did your - ~ =
} I YThey wereqthere when you put
on your pants" ? said:Mrs. SpoopenS
dyke. 81 haven't touched them.
What did you do with them?
sob, yes, certainly: 81 did seme-
thing with them! What d ye 'spose
Ibid with them? Think I set 'em
up in business somewhere don't ye?
4 Got an ideagIrgayey EN- o vacation
to ! 90 fishing have ye?A Well,
7 didn't, and r. more''n that II
4 didn't sendsem away TO be educat.
1 ed for the::ministry.lW my sus
penders? Where you put 'em?
'Spose I'm going around holding
. these pants upall day. Think IL got
no business interests besides holding
on breaches with both hands? What d
you do with the measly things?'
81 know I didn't take them of
the pants" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
pulling open the bureau drawers and
hustling things aroundin a vain
endeavering to fine the missing arti
Giles. .,...-.--.-.-.@ ,,.-.
"May be I can fix your pants SC
you won't need any suspenders to-
day, and I'll find them before night
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. -
'That's it. You've got it" raves
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "How are ycl
going to fix 'em' Going to tie then
on with shoestring, like you d
Fyour hustle? Going to walk aroun'
behind me all day and hold 'em on
! P'raps you can pull 'em up and but
ton 'em around my neck! How'd
r propose to..6x EN-? Going oput 'en
. up side down, SO if they fall they
fall up? IF I had your head I'dg
! out to service as file. Fix zen
: why don't we? Why don't ye fix 'em
) These trowsers are getting sick a
3 the stomach, waiting to be fxed!
i and Mr.. Spoopendyke shot acros
t the room and dove under the WARD
i robe in search ofthe lost suspender
: "They must be there somewhere.
g "Show 'em to me the1!" demande
8 Mr.. Spoondyke; "takea stick an
!; point ''emz out to mel OF cours
= q they're here somewhere, only pr
d your thumb on 'em!zWhat have~J
!, done with 1'em? Can't ye recolle'
Q whether yes made 'em up into hi
n bands for the heather, like you di
!, my dressing gown, or whether yc
Q planted them to see if they Woul
Z grow, like you did my straw ha
k Think they walked off like d crotc
a bug? S'pose thOseI suspendsrs ha'
d taken their girl oto 2 picnic? VII
E lind of DEMONSTRATING DO ye cal thi
a anyhoR?n Where's my osuspeRdersi
i i hpwled. MIR Spoopendykey, pSkit
e around in the. soifed, clothes aba
y "HWhere those 20 .suspendeEs2nnII al
# he pulled the books off the shelf az
e, rumaged around behind the ca
Is wit h,a broom for q diving rod. 9 i,
ii "Just let me- buckle them tig,
1t behind, said Mrs. Spoopendyk
1.-THE strap will hold then" - d
lQ 4"That's the scheme ,shriek'
Or Mr.. Spoopendyke; something's G
TX to hold theml If I, was as sharp
es1 you I'd get rich hiriHgsout for {
Of oysterknife.. All J ou want is to ha'
somebody sit cross-legged on "
and come home two weeks aft
D. you're expected to be a taifor>sho
sd Going to find those dog-gasted So
: tpendeTs between now and the ne
y WARP? .-ass saL
'''I know they were ON his pan
er when.he IrutIthem on" mused Ml
: Spoopendyke, entering upon lit
" inductive reasoning. 'He didr
g. take tthemsof, and SO they must
81, there now," and the good wom'
approached her husband with a smi
4 ''Oh! now they're going to be &
. ed, Hvsaid Mr.. Spoopendyke, with
horrible grin. 'P'raps you're goh
er to cut button holes in your han
and feet and hang over my shoulde
amt ye? Want me to put Iem
over my head, like a measly SIX
with two tucks and founce to-
= don't ye? Maybe you think the
suspenders hurried down to brea