The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Flashes.

b.
Groan persons.
Men of polish bootblacks.
Chicken hazard.-a shop egg.
A hard kase.-A Dutch cheese.
A stuck-up thing.-A show bill.
Always open to conviction.-A thief.
Trundle beds went out of fashion in
the crib-age.
The way to get over culinary difficult
ty is to Bridget.
A man is very apt to feel girlish when
he makes his maiden speech.
Proposals are in order, girls. Re-
member, no bachelor should be with
cut won.
''Never let cold rum" says the doctor.
Bad advice. He wants you to catch it.
and make work fer him.
A circus never runs too long for spec
tators, but let a sermon run forty minutes
and congregation can't sit still.
A boy never stirs his stumps quite so
lndustriously as when poking around in
the gutter for remnants of cigars.
Eve was the first and only woman who
did not gather up her skirts in both
hands and yell at the sight of a snake.
"The men of to-day are too high
strung,'' says Chicago paper. Some
of them are not strung high enough.
Marriage may be like a game of cards,
but the bridegroom is all right if he
holds good hand when the knot is tied.
"Shall I hereafter darn your stockingss'
is said to be the fashionable language
for young lady to use when msking
leap year proposal.
A young man while attempting to fix
a " misplaced switch" on young lady's
head in ball room, stepped on her dress
and wrecked the train.''
When girl is twenty she feels very
easy on that score. It's only when she
scores another that she begins to wonder
who invented wrinkles.
George Washington never told lie,
but then Martha never skirmished in his
pockets and insisted on knowing all
about letters written in feminine hand.
Although Lots wife was converted
into pillar Of salt, no trace of her has
ever been discovered. It is strangely sus-
pected that Lot used her to freeze ice
cream to treat his new girl.
Il wouldn't marry the bestman living" she
said;
And she kept her VOW from the first.
But she did not live to die an old maid.
For she married one of the worst.
Detroit street cars won't take counter
fit nickels for fare, and there always has
been constant complaint about their
being dropped snto contribution boxes.
''What's Teller TO do?'' asks the
Free Press.
The liar may succeed for time, but
justice is sure to overtake him. A Chica-
go man told the burglars around his bed
that he hadn't a dollar, but when they
put a candle to the soles of his feet. he
shelled out $3.50.
A mules head does not contain brain
capable of culture and refined rearing,
but it is wonderful to what an extent the
other end of his form can be reared. We
beg to be excused, however, from bring
ing that end up by hand.
A fond mother hearing that an earth
quake was coming, sent her boys to the
country tie escape 1t. After a few DAYS
she received note from the friend. saw
ing:
''For goodness sake, take your bows
away, and send along the earthquake in
stead.''
A teacher in the Wiltwyck, Ulster
county, school, recently electrified her
pupils, who were annoying her with
questions: "Children, am engaged p
Noticing the general look of astonish-
ment, she added: sBut not to any tool
OF a man. The excitement subsidized.
Some relations once paying Lanca-
shire old lady a visit, and prolonging
their stay beyond her contemplation or
wish, were somewhat taken aback one
morning before they were up, bv .hear-
ing her cali out loudly on the stairs: "a
fine morning for cousins to 60 home!''
INA, want sled; I do want sled;
can't have sled?''
sAsk your tather.''
81 don't want to ask him, MAJ
"Why, what non=ense ASK him.
'No, ma, you ask him; you have
known him longest"
ssMy dears Hiss something or some
body, can't quite tell what or who,'
said Jones to his children, as he sat down
to tea the other night.
perhaps it's mother" said little Bill
ly; she's gone over to aunt James to
The child was right. It was Mrs. Jones
who was missed, and Jones remarked in
continuance:
"Wen, let's have quiet supper, them