The Indianapolis leader. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1879-1890, 1880-02-21
shame to We, and you calm yourself gen.

tleman, tool
"My good woman, assure you that 20,
are mistaken; If had the money you shoul'
have it with pleasure. But declare to you
on my solemn word of honor, that have no
q shilling mt this moment in the world
Therefore l can't give you anything
"'Then We won't git yer shurt. sor, I'll hav
my money first, we may go bail for that
.''But, my good Mrs. Magee. l must have
the shirt | am going out to dine at Cheste
square-a most important engagement.
must have the shirt
al must hev my money first. Sorra a bi
o the shurt will We hondle till | feel thu
money in my fist
"but | tell you must have the shirt. Mr.
Pilkington, the gentleman with whom dine
is n person whom | dare not put oil, who's,
friendship | can not possibly afford to lose ]
must dine there tonight
"'Then go rs you are, me buckV cried tn,
Magee. with laugh of hendish scorn.
"ln vain coaxed and entreated / could
make no impression upon that flinty heart.
thought ut first of trying physical force
but moments reflection made me give up
the idea ~ hopeless, for besides the fact that
Mrs. Magee would unquestionably prove a
very formidable antagonist, foresaw that
the shirt would certainly have TO suffer to
such an extent in the conflict as To make IL
worthless. even il succeeded in Wrestling
it from the tenacious grasp of the foe. Hav-
ing exhausted all my Establishments i sat
down sullen and disconsolate in my arm
chair and with gloomy majesty babe Mrs.
Magee leave the room. Dischargng few
bitter Parthah shafts in her retreat. that
monstrous female withdrew. thought had
done with her, when the door slammed be-
ind Inr L,.t 4 Al. l..
fathomed the depths of revengeful malice in
the female heart.
"Well, you may imagine what wretched
evening l spent. | had not II sixpence To
enable me to dispatch messenger with
polite fiction to account for my absence i
knew that it would be discussed and COM
mented upon BY everyone there. | thought
that Mary Campbell would be annoyed,
perhaps sulky, (dstracting thoughtD some
other gallant usurping my place and paid
the attentions which | alone had the right
to pay. little guessed how was discussed
and commented upon. Ii had, am GER
tain that l should have then and there put
an end to my existence.
"The next day | was on my way to the
Pilkingtons to make my apologies, when L
met little Roberts, of the war office. l hap
pened casually to let out whittier l was
bound. There was curious expression on
Roberts face rs he looked ut me, and said
Il was dining there last night
"'Oh, indeed, replied. Il was to have
dined there, too, but was unfortunately de-
tanned. l am just going now to make my
apologies
"Robcrts still looked very hard at me, with
peculiar expression which made me feel
uneasy. AT Inst he said, with some awkward
constrant: Look here, Sacheverel. I've
known you good while, and we've always
been very friendly; will you take hint from
me? Believe me, it is kindly meant
$50 Certainly ANSWERED, looking and feel
ing considerably puzzled.
"Well. then, do you know my dear fell
low, if l were you l wouldn't call on the Pill
kingdoms to-day
"'Why not2' | asked in surprise.
"'Because think you would really place
them and yourselfin an unpleasant position
"'How SOP inquired ia amazement.
The fact is, continued Roberts, getting
very red and looking exceedingly uncom-
Portable, there was disagrceable contre
temps last night of which you were both the
innocent author and subject
Il! how could that possibly be7'
"'Well, I'd rather not say
"'But, Roberts, | insist upon hearing I
shall take it as very unfriendly act on your
part if you do not tell me. For, upon my
honor, / have not the remotest idea what you
can possibly be abiding to-
"And then, Charley, he told me. l was
wild with rage and modification at the time,
but have long since got over that, and can
laugh at the story as heartily as any one
"This was what happened: Dinner was
just over and dessert beginning, when a
small parcel marked Immediate and import
tant' was brought to old Pilkington. Instead
of waiting until at any rate the ladies had
risen, he asked permission to open it there
and then, declaring playfully that he was as
curious n woman about its contents; YOU
know what an ass old Pilkington used to
make of himself in these respects sometimes
Well, he opened the parcel, and, to the
Amusement and amusement of every one.
took out a shirt, to which was pinned a note
Thinking this was some capital practical
joke, old Pilkington opened the note and
read it out loud to the assembled guests The
note ran thus:
"'Muster Pilkington, sir-Has Muster
SatchiveP (again that barbarous mutilation
of my honored patronymicD owes me three
shillin' and has only got this one shirt which
L encloses and has | would not let he have
this ere shirt till he paid me heighteenpence
which he said as how he couldn't, sends
you the article in question so as you mayn't
be surprised. becos he don't come to dinner.
Your humble servant, MARY MAeEE.
an. B.-Washing done on reasonable
terms, ond good dryin' ground.
Would you believe it, Charley, that old
idiot went on spelling through that beastly
letter aloud, in spite of all the 'hems' and
coughs of his wife. Nobody knew exactly
what to do when it was finished. Mrs. Pix
ington and Mary Campbell were scarlet with
rage, and every one felt extremely uncom-
Portable except old Pilkington, who laughed
till the tears ran down his cheeks. By and
by the old fools merriment became infectious,
until every one there roared except Mrs.
Pilkington and Mary Campbell, who were
both too much mortified and Inundated to
see the joke.
allow got over the shock can hardly
remember. My first impulse was to strangle
old Pilkngton and that::diabolical washerwo-
man. In the end did neither, simply lay
perdu in my diggings and saw no one. 1
could never make up my mind to face Mary
Campbell again. Five years later she mar
ried Bostock, the retired egg merchant, and
| well, luck came to me at last, and | have
no cause now to envy Bostock or to bear
malice against Mrs. Magee.'