The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-09-02
WAITS AND WHlMS.

y
tion.
In making wills some ara left out and
others are left in.
The watermelon is like . book. II
isn't red until it is opened.
"BEAUrY is but skin deep" This can
not be applied to banana.
FLIES work from sun to sun, but the
mosquitoes work is never done.
REBEcoA--Yes; you will always find Q
funny bone in the humor-wrist.
A BOY always feels proud and bound.
less when his father offers him cigar
Ir is pitiful to see bald-headed man
hunting for the parting on his head
while he sings "There's no place like
comb.
The easiest way to find out whether
Bob Ingersoll is correct or not Is to go
and take a trip on New York steam.
boat.
SOME say the girls 60 to meeting to
look at each others bonnets. That's
downright scandal. They go to show
their own.
Ir has been discovered that burning
the bung hole of kerosene barrel with
n red hot poker will cause the barrel to
disappear.
The rumor of war in Buenos Ayres
was occasioned by a couple of soldiers
rushing across the street to get drink.
Cincinnati saturday Night
THOUSANDS Of persons who vote the
Democratic ticket are unable to speak
the last name of their candidate for Vice
President. .-NorriStOWn Herald.
A MAN at Augusta, Ga, on receiving a
DOCTORS bill for medicine and visits,
wrote that he would pay for the medi-
cine and return the visits.
Darling, | am growing cold, re-
marked II chronic grumbler to his spir-
tied spouse, and then she stroked his
golden locks-with the fire shovel.
SOME predict that the time will come
when people can read each others
thoughts like book. 1t is sad to think
that many hy-leaves will be discovered
where least expected.
"OUT in this cold world, out on this
treat sang the young man whose
pocketbook had been materially light
ened in "setting EN- up" for several
legions of his friends.
NEVER push man because he's 60
ing down the hill" No; far better to
head him off and kick him untilhe is glad
to streak up that hill again like all crea-
ton afre. Daabuy Ne,Us.
clam going on trip to your-rope,"
the condemned man remarked to the
Sheriff when marching to the scaffold;
and after that reckless break the officer
swung him off without regret.
The gentle answer" Have you got
the rent ready at last?" "No, sir;
mothers gone out washing, and forgot to
put it out for YOU" "Did she tell you
she'd forgotten?' "Yes, sir. "-London
Judy.
A CoLoRApo man can take his rifle and
put bullet into an old straw hat 1000
yards away every time, but he doesn't
get down on the ground and tangle HIM
self to do it, SO he isn't considered q
good riheman by the average amateur.
lort2B2YsU
sit upon b Il b;
4 he will sting B u no
10 dr. place, and hurt so
U'll dr. poor un 4 ms
twas pin on which u ss
Exchange
THERE is no need of any eulogies over
the man who discovered gold in Cali
fornia. He blundered into it, just as
man sometimes discovers that there
is bull in the same pasture with him
self.
WHEN female contributor to a
monthly magazine speaks of 1.-THE most
delicious, delectable, enhancing and
distracting of all innocent indulgences," "
she means kiss. s.-HarJOrd Sunday
Journal.
NONE of or learned judges ever dis
criminate against black people on ac-
count of color. No American citizen Of
African descent was ever denied admis.
sion to the county Jail or State prison.
Hartford Sunday Journal.
81 DIDN'T know man could be so
much made up of water" said hot man
on the corner yesterday, wringing the
sweat from his brow. "Oh, yes, re-
marked hotel-keeper who came along,
my experience is that man is regular
sponge"
An impecmious fortune-hunter having
been accepted by an heiress, at the we'd
ding, when that portion of the ceremony
was reached where the bridegroom says:
"With all my worldly goods l thee en-
dow" spiteful relative Of the bride ex.
claimed: "There goes his valiseP
"IT is the breath of the people," said
Douglas, "tlat purifies the blood of the
nation" May be so; may be so; Douglas
knew more about politics than we do, but
we hope to die if we haven't met people
whose breath would poison Peoris
saash- tub. Huntington Ha,okee-