Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1880-07-29
ALL SORTS.

ALL SORTS.
The Emperor of China has seventy wives.
tempest in his family teapot would break
China
Aa old lady was recently overheard to ask
her little boy how he dare steal the molasses
syruptitiously. I.
A railroad man win not allow his daughter
to wear her back hair down. 1t reminds him
of mis- placed switch.
Miss Jennie Flood, it is reported, will be
married to Mr.. Ulysses Grant, Jr, about the
18th of November next
A society journal tells US that the fashion
able age just now is from "a to a. Sweet
! II is for the present ont of running.
When girl is twenty she feels very easy
on that score. It's only when she scores an
other that she begins to wonder who invented
wrinkles.
The Tay bridge (Scotland) will be rebuilt.
Instead of 13 long girders there will be 26
short ones, and they will be 81 feet lower
/ than before
Charles Reade says that all children should
be taught TO have presence of mind but
haven't they got it 2 Catch boy in sugar
box and ism t he looking for flies?
No lady who has been before divorce
court, however innocent she may be or on
Whatsoever side she may have been, is per-
mitted by etiquette to have her name pass for
drawing room at the English court.
TIE wise man of the Chicago Times has
discovered that the number of letters in the
word GAR field is eight and in the word
H-a-n-c- o-c-k seven. Hetherefore concludes
that it is another conflict between seven and
eight, and the eight always wins.
San Francisco Neses Letter says: A lady
was amazed, on presenting her card at a
Taylor street mansion, to SEE the servant in
spect her from.he to foot, and then return
her card, with the remark: my mist'es
orders are very strict, mum. Sorry can't ad-
NIT you to-day, but We don't receive people
twice in the same costo0m.'
An Eastern paper says Phospatine, a
drink supposed to have an invigorating infu-
ence on the BRAIN. is dispensed by the favor
ite confectioners in Boston. 1t might we'll
become popular elsewhere. 1t is solution
of phosphoric acid, a taste like mild ldmon-
ade, and is really of use in warm weather, as
an excellent aid in resisting the heat
The housewife now gets in ffutter
. To gee the flies get in the butter,
And soon she'll be compelled to veto
TIL advances of the big mosquito
No wonder then that che declares
''This world of ours IL full of cares,
almost wish that were dead."
Then goes down stairs aud soaks her head
THE New York Graphic having said that
"Chicago is mad because she census 100000
souls" the Tribune comes back as follows:
Chicago isn't mad. Chicago is superlatively
good and sweet-tempered, and is able to show
an increase of 60 per cent. in population, in
spite of $500, ,000, 900 fire and a few other
little drawbacks OF that nature. It's st.
Louis that is mad. .>E
The Vienna -4Ngenseine Zeitung tells how
lately, when polish nobleman was en- route
with gang of convicts to Siberia, his mother
less boy of ten, whom he had been allowed
10 take with him, fell i'll and the father asked
he officer in charge to allow him to hire
wagon. The father grew urgent, and as the
soldiers forced him back he, in his excitement
,ried 10 seize 8 rifle from a soldier and was
Immediately shot dead before his son.
THE Economist, an able financial journal
If Boston, truly says: ''The investing pub
ic are fast getting down to the bedrock of
business in connection with mines 1t is no
onger a dash for fortune or q reckless
brow for luck, bat the planting of money
where it will yield a certain profit and a
teady income. 1t is surprising how rapid
he progress toward sound and business-like
position with all mining matters
The New York Mining Nesos, in speaking
# the stock market of tina! city, says: Min
ng stocks, thus far, have been bought by
conservative business men. Anybody look
ng over the list of the New York men who
re directors in mining companies, will see
hat the most conservative branches of busi-
less are represented; while the names of the
eteran spectators, who can lead millions of
money to any direction, do not appear.
A Western papeFgives this recipe for pre-
erving bouquet ~ Sprinkle it lightly with
resh water and put it in o vase containing
oap-suds. Each morning take them out of
be suds and lay il sideways in clean water;
eep it there minute or two, then take it out
nd sprinkle the flowers lightly by the hand
nth water. Replace il in the suds, and 1t
altered. Change the .suds every three or
our days. This method will keep bouquet
right and beautiful for at least month"
"The most vital element of the American
says an English critic, sis that
. good as YOU And by this they mean, not
lat they are as good as you in birth, in for
Inc, or in education-such things they es-
em mere external accidents, and therefore
oreign to the argument-but they mean that
on, whatever your rank and acquired advan-
Iges, have nothing morally and organically
ppertaining 10 you which gives you the right
put on airs in the presence of any other
uman being whatever."
THOMAS STRowBRIDeE, bachelor farmer,
no died at Springfield, ILL.,, the o;ber day,
squeathed g. 600 to the Methodist Mission
Y Society of Illinois for work in India. and
40. 600 as an endowment fupd for the Home
the Friepdless in SpFinefeld. He also
we $4,000 each TO the Presbyterian and
aptist Churches of that city, "a. .000 to the
ethodist Church, $1,000 to the Central I'LL