Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-09-18
ODDS AND ENDS.

When singer lives IN glass rouse, ne
throws tones.-[Whitehall Times.
Death loves shining mark, but hight
ming prefers Connecticut barn.-lD Dam
bury News.
Pride in woman destroys all symme-
try and shape-of mans pocket book.
TOwego Record.
Instructor to pupil "Miss Wright,
write rite right, right on this piece OF pa
peri Yawcob Straus.
1t is announced that Mark Twain's latest
work is not for sale. 1t is girl-an lnno-
cent at home New York Commercial.
A mother with two boys must be fieshy;
ur-chin is double. P. S.-A war map OF
this can be obtained at the office.-[Oil
City Derrick.
No matter how warmly a man may love
his country's flag, he is never happy to see
the hen sign in his garden patch. Boston
Transcript.
1t is one of the curiosities of natural
history that the horse enjoys his food most
when he hasn't bit in his mouth.|[Still-
| water Lumberman.
We have met the enemy and-we won't
say anything about it, as the boy said
when he came across skunk in his fathers
pasture. Boston Post.
A girl in Rockford, Me-, had her corset
torn from her by a stroke of lightning, but
received no injury herself. The young
man, however, was killed.-[Elmira Free
| Press.
Jennie June tells story of young girl
who, seeing bit of straw embroidery,
| l. r,bo1a IF oIIE not
worked in wheat, oats and grasses, with
fine split straw.
Sarah Winnemucca, Princess of the
Piutes, has been provided with comfort
able little house in Oregon, with yearly
pension of 5000, as a reward for her service
during the last Bannock war.
The ifeless body of deaf mute was
discovered in field. The friends of the
deceased were much shocked when they
saw the newspaper item regarding the af-
fair headed "Dumbfounded. u Rome Sem
tinel.
"Oh, thought this was drawing room
car !" alphabetically observed lady to a
man in the door of the smoker as she dis
covered her mistake. at is, num-" he
said. drawing on his'n with all his might.
[Danbury News.
SAMANTHA, I'm going to let go of your
hand for minute, but you won't be mad,
will you, darling? I wouldn't let go till
you did, only some sort OF bug is crawl
ing down my back, and l can't keep my
mind on you and bugs at the same time. J"
I[Unidentified Exchange.
The greatest bore that infests newspa-
per office is the man who brings in "some-
thing to fill up" The something to fill
up" is generally well concealed adver-
tisement of the bore's business, which he
is asinine enough to believe the editor will
not discover. Rhinebeck Gazette.
Many physicians claim that intemper-
ance is a disease 1t must be contagious
then; at any rate man when he gets
drunk usually catches it when he goes
home, There may seem to be some little
discrepancy or contradiction here, but we
can't stop for that now.
Emily Rigl and Maud Granger will star
next season in play called 1.-TWO Nights
in Rome. Tracy Titus, an ex-husband OF
Alice Oates, will manage them. Ii Tracy
couldn't manage Alice alone, what is the
use of his trying to manage these two Ia
dies together?
| There is to be club OF circus men.
There will be no chairs in the club, moth.
ing but trapezes. When they dine every
BODY will stand on his head. There will
4 be no stairways. The members will get
into the club by climbing the water-spout
and coming down through the chimneys.
Daughter of Cabinet Minister 1T
would give me pleasure to use my infu-
ence with papa for the appointment you
want, but it is already filed" Applicant :
"Oh, but surely he could put subordi-
nate in as well. There must be nothing
to do enough for two."-[Congressional
Record.
A murderer in Pennsylvania under SEN
tence of death stood big chance of re-
prieval last week, but he mounted spav-
ined old Pegasus and told his tale to the
Governor in talleged) rhyme. The Gov
ernor pardoned him for the murder, but
ordered him to be hung for the poetry. !"