Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-07-01
Sips of Fun.

ninos, in letter to the World.
"Gcorge Eliot married againY
No, not again; married at last.
An exchange says: "The best
plays have the most Williams in
them" Then why doesn't some
body dramatize the Republican
party?
The burglar alarm is a great
invention. 1t always warns the
burglar in season for him to get
out of the way before anybody
can shoot.
"IIe was in the Legislature
one year, l believe; but |
wouldn't say anything about
that. Otherwise his life was
free from blot"
Johnny lost his knife. After
searching through his one pock-
ct without success, he exclaimed:
"Oh, dear! wish | had another
pocket; it might be in that"
"What is Needed in the Muir
sery?" is the title of long arti-
Gle at hand, but which we have
not room to print. The gist OF
it is that what is needed in the
nursery is more mother and less
nurse.
"Don't you wish you was a
big man?" said one little urchin
to another. "K'rect | do. I'm
Just dyin' to be big enutf to git
shaved an have one OF 'em bar
bers powder me all over and
squirt cologne juice at me, was
the reply.
Why is it that when one man
calls another a liar and scoundrel
the insulted man almost invaria-
bly, asks, "What do you mean,
sir?" 1t would seem that such
language would not require a
map and diagram to make it
clear.
Thief before the severe judge:
."What disgrace! Are you
not ashamed, an old man like
you, to be brought here accused
of theft?" Pardon me, Your
Honor; do not upbraid me un-
deservedly. l began stealing
when was very young"
A long-windcd lawyer lately
defended a criminal unsuccess-
fully, and during the trial the
Judge received the following
note: "The prisoner humbly
prays that the time occupied by
the plea of the counsel Tor the
defense be counted in his SEN
tence." )"
At a camp-meeting last sum-
mer a venerable sister began the
hymn:
AMY soul, be on thy guard;
Ten thousand foes arise"
She began too high. "Ten thou
sand,"s screeched,and stopped.
"Start her at five thousand?'
cried converted stock broker
present.
An Indiana girl sat waiting
at the window TO go with her
lover to an ice cream parlor,
when a bolt of lightning killed
her in an instant. We do not
hold up this as a warning, be-
cause the young man had made
up his mind to tell her that ice
cream was unhealthy.
A correspondent of the Can.
onsburg Herald said recently in
the course of an article describ-
ling a small stream in Colorado
can artistic little bride spans
the creek just below our noun
tain home" Perhaps the intel
|ligent compositor had just go
married, and was thinking more
of brides than bridges.
An exchange says of a maj
who was killed by lightning
while praying. that "this is no
a warning against praying as i
would have been, had he beer
engaged in robbing a hen
, roost." Now if he had beel
killed while robbing a hen
roost, where would the warnin!
|. against praying have come in
That's what we want to know
He came into the sanctur
t with a large roll of manuscrip
under his arm, and said yer
> politely: II have a little trifl
> here about the beautiful sunse
: yesterday, which was dashe
: off by a friend of mine, which
3 would like to get inserted if yo
e have room." "Plenty of room
S just insert it yourself" reptile
: the editor, gently pushing tn
q waste-basket toward him.
An eminent scientist claim
that a volcano is caused by I'll
f coming together in the bowe
e Iof the earth of materials simll;
q to that of which sciditiz pow
}. ders are made. The man WI
% has drunk q seidlitz poWdC