The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1880-04-22
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

"A tramp called his shoes "Cor-
porations," because they had no soles.
-One man eloped with the wife OF
another from spelling in Tennes-
see. Such bees interfere with the hon
ey-moon.
"A young man who has recently
taken wife says he didn't find it half
so hard to get married as he did to get
furniture. 19f "stf Y f3.
Mr.. Smalltalk: sis that Virginia
creeper behind you, Miss Violet?"
Miss Violet (wildly): 80, where?
where? 0, do take it off" aa st@
"A New York belle has ordered
500 corset. Great squeezer! what ex-
travagance. This is entirely too much
for artificial hugging. ,- .s..
f "A young lady modestly informs us
that If her sex have nothing to do with
cheeky chaps they will not have chappy
cheeks to contend with. # .gfsE
-Mumps are so common as to be
quite fashionable among Boston young
ladies. In fact, they are declared by
some to be every SWELL" 4...,....,
The wife of wealthy and retired
grocer to her artistic dressmaker:
"Dress me in such manner that my
vulgarities will pass for medieval affec-
tatlOns." 94 5if9 Tf 4iit TIfas
Brigham Young was first to solve
the gem puzzle with fifteen wives. He
had very little trouble with Nos. thirteen,
fourteen and fifteen so long as the Gem
tiles let him alone.-N. 0. Picayuse.
"A Western paper, describing
young lady putting on her corset, says
she ''went to work hauling in the slack
OF the cord something after the style of
vaquero placing saddle upon fiery,
untamed mustang"
A Michigan farmers wife who can
handle shotgun or revolver never has
any tramps at her door. How the chaps
find it out is a puzzle, unless the first
one shot makes sort of telegraph of
himself.-Detroit Free Press. .s.
=" Ethel Yes, bark rhymes with
lark, but there are other objections to
your poem. You talk about balmy
zephyrs in the first verse, and have the
child freeze to death in the third. Even
poetic license must give way to the
weather. Chicago Tribune.
When you find sun-bonnet float
ing around on the surface of pond, it
is not always safe to conclude that there
is woman at the bottom of it. She
may have eloped with the hired man
and thrown the bonnet in there so as to
get good start while the neighbors are
dragging the pond and the husband is
trying to beat down the undertaken on
%L<,~~ - ,r.~1N Il
Gate City. ~ Is4s 4qI .sm-
1t must have been tremendously
embarrassing to that nice young man
out at Bowling Green, KY, who escort
ed the preachers fair daughter to church
Sunday night, and arrived late, to hear
the reverend gentleman read from the
Bible as the couple marched up the
aisle, Is My daughter is grievously tor
mented with a devil,'' which verse oc-
ours in an account of New Testament
miracle. The whole congregation snick-
cred, and it would be hard to tell which
felt worst, the preacher, his daughter,
or her escort. s,tssvp4t
A poor old deaf man resided in
Fife; he was visited by his minister
shortly after coming to his pulpit. The
kululSOCl o1iu hC WOulo OlbCu Cdll
see him; but time went on, and he did
not visit him again until two years after,
when happening to go through the
street where the deaf man was living,
he saw his wife at the door, and could
therefore do no other than inquire for
her husband. "Weel, Margaret, how
| is TammasPp "None the better o.
you," was the rather curt reply. "How!
how! Margaret" inquired the minis
ter. "Oh, ye promised twa years syne
to ca and pray once fortnight VII
him, and ye hae ne'er darkened the
door sin syne." "Weel, weel, Mar
garet, don't be so short; | thought it
was not 80 very necessary to call and
pray with Tammas, for he is sac deaf
ye ken he can not hear me" But SIR"
said the woman, with rising dignity
of manner, "the Lord s no deaf!" And
it is to be supposed he felt the power Of
her reproach. 41 - alft ligQ58
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