Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-08-30
SHAVING A MAN WITH THE
TOOTHACHE.

Ao neXI aSKeu d spIy mdu de
my side.
"That fellow over there with his face
wrapped in flannel"
The man with the tied-up face ad-
vanced cautiously towards the chair.
Barber" he began, "kiu you shave
a man who has had the toothache for |
four weeks 2"
81 should think | kin !" replied the
barber, haughtily.
did you ever shave man who's had
the toothache for four weeks %
"More than a thousand"
81 kinder think you're old hand,
eh ?'' said the man untying his face and
getting into the chair.
There was smile of triumph on the
BARRIERS face as he proceeded to lather
the man.
"Hold on, mister" cried the man,
grasping the barber's arm, ''my jaw
amt insured"
makes no difference" said the bar
Der, jamming the brush up the mans
nostrils.
"But l tell you," continued the man,
after blowing the lather over the barber's
vest, you'll hev to be durn keerful with
that right jaw"
That's all right" and the barber
daubed brushful of lather on the mans
mouth.
But" the man went on, this time
blowing the lather into the barber's
face, ''if you scratch that right jaw, or
loosen any of the teeth, you had better
be dead. Commence on the left jaw
first"
Crops all right up your way? ?" insin-
uatingly asked the barber, at the same
time drawing the razor over the mans
face as he would a rake.
"Auich!" cried the man, sitting up.
"Did you say you shaved thousand
men who hev he'd the toothache fur four
weeks p
"Yes, about that many" said the bar
Der, somewhat startled by the mans
gestures.
"And still alive?"
"Yes.''
you're liar. You're a fraud.
You're a swindle. and if you don't re-
duce that thousand to one, and that one
to me, III hammer some sense into your
head"
Don't get excited" said the barber,
soothingly. "You know a man will
brag little"
"Well, you continue with the left
jaw and be durn keerful, too"
1t was refreshing to see how carefully
the barber handled that left jaw II
took him just six minutes, by the clock,
to shave it.
"You amt done already?" savagely
asked the man when the barber asked
him to turn his head Would you hey
your neck broke if it faint done ?''
81 kin go over 1t again, feebly whis
pered the barber, who didn't want hi.
other customers to hear that he gave in
you had better 60 over it, growlec
the man so loud that the eight customer
got up and came closer.
The barber smillngly assured the mai
that it was pleasure to 60 over such
beautiful cheek.
"Now that'll do, said the stranger
stroking his face. But I'll give yo,
fair warning, if you don't think you XII
do that right jaw justice, you had bette
give up the job. amt responsible 70
acts of violence.
"I wouln't miss shaving that chez
for dollar" said the barber. con6den
TALLY.
He commenced that cheek with NOR
than ordinary care.
"Keerful, friend, keerful," muttere
the stranger, ''you're coming to tende
spot, and my revolver is cooked
The crowd of eight men simultaneou;
ly gave the barber more room to worl
and two left the shop.
Wasn't you General in the army
asked the barber, hoping to divert th
mans thoughts from gore, and trustin
to Providence for an affirmative reply,
"You concentrate your intellect 0
: that jaw, and keep your CAB mum !"
: Three minutes of silence ensued.
"Ah, there It's DONE" admiringl
exclaimed the barber. 81 never done
better job since l shaved the King
Hungaria."
"Now you kin comb my hair, reptile
the man, sitting up.
Don't you want your mustact
trimmed 2"
"No!"
"You ought to have it trimmed"
Comb my hair, l have to go to
funeral
; "You want your mustache dyed p
, "No !"
"You would look better if it we
dyed"
/. didn't tell you had to go to
: marriage-funeral J" cried the ma