Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1880-12-15
WHOLE NO. 1928.
Current Comment,
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

me indications are that if England wants
peace IN Ireland she will have to fobt for
it. " isn' lof
me training of children should be begun
while they are very young. A shank in
time saves nine.
Fashlon was never 30 sumptuous, 40
striking SO decorative, so delightful. q. IN.
aay'-AorrIsto~n Herald. Just wait till the
bills come in.
Salts of lemon never fails to remove ;rl,
Spots A great many would-be poets should
BUY the salts by the barrel and pickle their
etfusions in them.
Every husband should husband hi. -.
sources. Not having money enough to buv
a ton OF coal is apt to be followed by a cool.
ness in the family.
So many men are killed off by wars that
the women would soon outnumber the men
were 1t not for one of natures wise provis
ions-kerosene oil.
As yeast has only been in use abon. . ooo
years 1t is not strange that some women
have not yet learned how to manage it so
as to have light bread.
No. | shan't return to Canada. won't
live IN country where one can't warm
without wearing mustard plaster. So
there.-PrtnceS8 Louise.
There is no man on earth to whom we
owe SO much, yet whom we pay so grudg-
ingly, as the schoolmaster-
Herald. You forget the editor.
The worst thing about the Chinese is
that they are so initiative that they soon
acquire all the American vices and then
cannot be depended on any more than any
one else.
The Vienna TagJlaH asserts that the Gar
has placed $l,5OO,O0O in Mendelssohn's
bank at Berlin to the credit of his new
wife.-Er. We are glad to learn that there
IS something to her credit.
a Philadelphia topper was completely re-
formed in curious way. AS he was about
to take drink the hotel was struck by
lightning and the glass knocked out of his
hand. He never smiled again.
Question for debating society-Was the
hair by which the sword of Damocles sus.
pended red or black? And if so, why?-
Er. 1t was black. A red hair would have
got mad and let the sword drop.
Let Congress abolish the three.cent.piece
nuisance. Also twenty.cent pieces, which
are always given poor fellow for quarters.
-Nea0 York Express. Yet which he can
never pass on any one else for more than
twenty cents.
A man who signs himself Ignorance
writes to one of the fashion papers asking
what he shall say when he gives an engage
ment ring tos young lady. Just as though
there would be any spare time for talking
under such sweet circumstances.
When a man is inquired for by creditor
and sends word that he is not in, he lies
and he knows it, when his wife is called
on by some one she does not desires to see,
and sends word that she is " not at home"
it must be the servant who does the lying.
A counter-irritant, according to the Rome
Sentinel, is woman who is always shopping
and never finds anything she wants.
Another countsrirritant is the saleslady
who is too much occupied with her own
affairs to wait on the women who come to
make purchases.
Is another winter to pass by without some
man making himself richer than Wander.
bilt by the invention of a good nose and
ear protector for cold weather Toledo
Blade. A nose protector can be made easily
enough, but protector big enough to fit
all ears would cost too much to be profit.
able.
Cincinnati has a Matrimonial Benefit
Association" which pays each member who
marries $1,000. It's worth ali of that to
marry Cincinnati girl.-BOston Post. That
sum would certainly not 60 very far in the
purchase of pottery, decorative art mater
ials, musical instruments and wood-carVing
tools.
girl in Dubuqs struck her oroquet part
nsr on the head with mallet; brain fever
set in and the young man nearly died.
The girl was kept under arrest until his
recovery and when he got we'll she married
him. This is a very singular case, as it will
be noted that the striking occurred before
marriage.
A Burlington girl recently had one Of
her feet modelled in marble and gave it as
paper weight to her betrothed for birth
day present. A wealthy Chicago belle hear
ing of this went to sculptor to have
model of one of her feet made, but was
obliged to give up the idea on account OF
the present high price in marble.
The increasing popularity of Havana asa