The Portland daily press., 1880-07-24

There is man in East Haddam, Conn,
whose memory is so bad that, the other day,
he couldn't for the life of him recollect who it
was the Greenbackers nominated at Chicago
for the tail-piece to the Weaver ticket.-Puck.
''Hole on dar," said colored man, hailing
an acquaintance. docs yer cross de street
cherry time yer sees me ter keep frum payin'
dat bll?" "No. does MT" "What fur den?''
'Ter keep frum bein' axed fur it?"-Litte
Rock (Ark) Gazette.
Chloride of Gold as Cure for Drunken
ness.
DR.. L. E. Kelley of Dwight, ILL.,, claims to
have discovered positive cure for the crav-
ing for strong drinks, and that too, without
denying the patient drink so long as the crav-
ing exists, and effects cure within a period
of from five to nine days. He treats it as an
hereditary disease, and claims to eradicate it
from the system entirely by his method of
treatment.
He has already made some most wonderi,l
cures. Messrs, Parsons, Bangs & Co. havi
heard of these cures through friends living in
Dwight, ILL.,, entered into correspondence with
DIR. Kelley several weeks since with a view Of
selling to those of this part of the country af-
fected with this worst of all diseases, if they
COulQ D6COu6 SdJlSll6u Uudt IL WOulu POSITIVELY
cure as represented. Finally Mr.. Parsons went
to Chicago to investigate the matter some ten
days since and has just returned. he visited
parties both in Dwight ILL.,, and Chicago who
had been cured of the evils of intemperance in
its worst forms and found that most remarka-
BILE cures had been effected and so far no in
stance of failure has been reported One gen.
tleman with whom Mr.. Parsons conversed said
he had been drunkard for twenty years and
he could not possibly withstand the intense
craving for alcoholic 0rinl<o and oft
taking the Remedy he has no desire or appe
tite for drink. Another had got SO low that he
had become burden to himself and friends
and had attempted suicide but was rescued
and afterwards cured by it.
Many others were visited until Mr.. Parsons
having become assured of the genuineness of the
Doctors claims made arrangements with him
for lot to give it thorough test in this city.
Any one therefore having friends whom they
are anxious to save and will see that the d.
rections are faithfully followed by the patients
will be furnished the remedy at reasonable
rate.
No injury can result and the patient gains
in flesh, sleeps better and soon becomes we'll
man: Pamphlets giving particulars mailed on
application to Parsons Bangs & Co., whole
I sale Druggists Portland Me. The remedy is
endorsed by Fred B. Hargreaves Vice Pres
ident Illinois State Temperance League and
other prominent temperance workers.
The latest gush- Conversation on piazza
West End Hotel, Long Branch: Fashionable
young man to another young man not fashion
| able-"Is this chair taken?" Ordinary young
man 'tNo, you can have it." F.YM-
''Thank you awfully." O. Y. M.-"You're
dreadfully welcome. Baltimore Sun.
Two friends were dining at restaurant
overlooking the Seine, whose proprietor would
skin customer as remorSelessly as he would
| skin an eel. ''This is an admirable view"
| said one. II love to sit here and look at the
| boats" Ssh! Speak low The boss will put
the boats in the bill.'-French Witicism