Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1880-07-08
RESCUED!


yention-that the large and usefu
class of citizens known as "laborin,
man" has been rescued from total exter
mination by the band of Democratic he
roes sin Convention assembled" Th'
laboring man himself does not seem Il
have been aware of his awful situation
and, as yet, he has tossed not high hi
ready cap in air, nor lifted up his voice,
&C., on account of his delivery. The
reason of this stolidness on the part OF
the laboring man, may be, that he does moi
understand the official announcement OF
the terrible situation and the heroic res.
cue, contained in the platform. We are
not surprised at this; for it is only after
hours of diligent study, and with the as
sistance of Webster's Unabridged Die
tionary and many other works on civil
and natural history, that we have come
TO comprehend, and now attempt to ex.
plain, the said official document, mum.
bered in the platform
"Thirteenth-The Democratic party
is the friend of the laboring man, and
pledges itself to protect him alike
against the cormorants and the COM
mune."
The situation, as we gather it, is this
The laboring man was in imminent dam
ger from his terrible enemies, "the cor.
morants and the commune" when his
friend, the Democratic party, her0ically
sprung to the rescue, and offered him its
powerful protection. Whether the cor
morants and the commune were after
the laboring man, or were lurking to
watch for him in some lonesome by-way,
or actually had him in their clutches, is
not clear. But he was their meat; else
what need had his friend the democratic
party to interfere for his protection ?
That he would have been summarily
disposed of but for this interference we
have right to infer from the fact, that
the assembled wisdom of the Democra-
cy considered it necessary to vote him
this protection. But the horror of the
laboring mans situation will be more
apparent after studyinga chapter in ma
tural history ON the nature of the cor
morants. The true name of the NOR
ster alluded to is Carlo cornaordDi,ls, a
species of the family of pelicdnidg
racious birds, with appetites as terrible
as their name, which gulp down their
prey with little ceremony and less mas
tication. The Chinese, who raise tame
cormorants for fishing, have to tie
strings around the necks of these vora-
cious birds, to keep them from swallow
ing the fish which they catch. Perhaps
it is by a similar method that the Dem
ocratic party will prevent the laboring
man from being literally swallowed
whole. But as this would involve the
ugly necessity of collaring the cormo-
rants, it is more reasonable to suppose
that the Democratic party will not de-
part from its usual instrument of pro-
tection-the shotgun. 1t would be pic
turesque in the extreme to see this res
cue realized; to behold the poor laboring
man in the act of being swallowed
by the cormOrants, and, at the same mo-
ment, of being-whateve terrible thing
the commune dOes-when, just at the
niche of time, the great rescuer, the
Democratic party, with shotguns cooked
and poised, rush bravely upon the scene,
and, with one heroic charge, drive the cor
and the commune from the field,
and carry off the rescued laboring man,
in triumph Or, supposing the laboring
man only in deadly fear of being swal
lowed by the cormorants, and-whatev-
er it is-by the commune, with his gal
liant protector standing over him, with
shotgun cooked, the fierce aspect of its
terrible countenance keeping the cor
morants and the commune at bayl
We confess that, up to our studies upon
this text, we were under the impression
that the commune was something from
which the Democracy and its natural al
lies had nothing to fear; that, in short, it
was Democrat itself. Taking the def
milton of a communist given by the corn
law rhymer as correct, we must still hold
to that view.
"What is a communist? one who has yearn-
ings @
For equal division Of unequal earnings;
An idler, bungler, or both, he is willing
To fork out his penny and pocket your shill-
ing.
1t may be through its influence as an
ally of the commune, and not through
the coercive power of the shotgun, that
the Democratic party hopes to prevail
in that quarter in behalf of the laboring
man. In any case, the laboring man is
secure for the present, now that the
Democratic party has declared itself on
his side.