The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-02-24
81 - . ------'----'-'7---
Railroads TO Heaven.
Burlington HaYkeye,i

.7I
ON the road onoe more, with Leb-
anon III the distance, the lat passeh-
ger drumming idly on. the window
pane, The across passenger sound
asleep, aud tho tall, thin passenger
reading Gen Grants Tour Around
the World.' and wondering why
Greene's August Flower should be
printed above the doors of "a Bud.
dhist Temple at Benares. To me
comes the brakeman, seating himself
Oh the arm Of the seat, says:
Il went 10 church Yesterday
"Yes? Aud what church did you
attend n ! said with that interes-
ting infection that asks for more.
(Which do you guess5' hc asked.
"Some union mission church," i
liazaraed.
Ie .Now," lie said,"I don't like TO run
on these branch roads very much. ]
don't often 20 10 church, and when ]
do | want TO run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you
80 on schedule time, and don't have
TO wait OH connections. don't like
to run OH a branch. Good enough,
but don't like it,"
"Episcopal?' guessed.
Limited express, he said; all pal
acc cars aud ~ extra for seat; last
time and stops only at big stations.
Nice line, but too exhaustive for u
brakeman. All train men in uni
form conductors punch and lantern
silver-plated, and no train boys
allowed. Then the passengers are
allowed to talk back at the condnc-
Tor: aud il makes them too free AMI
easy, No, | couldn't stand the palace
cars. lsich road enough. Don't Of
ten hear OF Il receiver being appoint
ed for that line. Some mighty nice
people travel on II too.
Universalisi2- | suggested.
Broad guage, said The brakeman ;
does too much complimentary busi-
ness. Everybody travels on pass.
Conductor doesn't get fare once in
fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into any thing but q
Union depot. Train orders are
vague, though, and tho train men
don't get along well with the passcn-
gers. No, | don'tg go 10 the Univer-
salis,, though know some awIully
good men who run on that road.
Presbyterian? | asked
Marrow guas G, eh, said the brake
man; pretty track, straight as q rule /;
iuinell right through a mountain
rather than 20 around 1t; spirit-level
grade passengers have TO show their
tickets before they getom the train.
Mighty strict road, but the cars are q
little narrow have to sit, one in u
seat, and no room in the aisle to
dnnee. Then there's no stop over
tickets allowed got TO 20 through to
the station you are hcketed for, or
you can't get on sati all, When the
cars full, no extra coaches; cars
builtat the shops to hold just SO
many, and nobody else allowed on.
But you don't often hear Of an acci-
kent on that road. Its ran right up
10 The rules. -, "a
Maybe youjoined the Free Think
ers ! | said. IN
Scrub road, said tho brakeman; ;
dirt road bed and no ballast; no
nme card and no train dispatcher.
All trains run wild, and every engin-
eer makes his own time, just as he
plesscs. Smoke II you want to;
Kind Of go-as-you please road. Too
many side tracks, and every switch
open all the time, with the swiichman
sound asleep and the target lamp
dead ont. Get on as you please aud
get OF when you want to. Don't
have TO show your tickets, and the
conductor isnt expected 10 do any.
thing but amnse the passengers No,
sir, was offered pass, but i don't
like the. limo. ldon't like to travel
OH a road that has no terminus. Do
you know, sir, asked division SUI
derintcndent where that road run TO-
and he said he hoped to die if he
knew. asked him If the general SUI
pcrintendent could tell me, aud he
| saitl he didn't believe they had any
general superintendent, and II the,
| had, he didn't Know any more aboul
| the road than the passengers. | asked
him who reported TO and he said no
body. asked conductor who hi
got orders from, and he.Said he didn'
take orders from any living soul ol
dead ghost. And when | asked thu
engineer where he got his ordcrl
from, no said he'd like 10 see any
body give him orders--hed rul
that train TO suithimself or he'd run
| il into the ditch. Now you see, sir
| | am a railroad mai, and | don't car'
to run on road that has no time
makes no connections, runs nowhere
| and has no superintendent. 1t ma,
be right, but I've railroadcd too lon.
to understand II.
1 Did you try the Methodist, ! said
Now, you're shouting he said, will
some enthusiasm. Nice road, eh
fast time and plenty of passengers
Engines carry q power of steam, an'
don't you forget it, steam guag
shows q hundred andfcnough all tn
! time. Livelyiroad when the con
duotor shouts oil aboard You cal
hearthim at the next station, Ever,
) ,tNin-lamp shines like a headlight
Stcp.over checks given on all throug
tickets passengers can drop off tn
train as they Ike, do the station Ivy
| or three days, and hop on the mex
, revival train that comes thunderinI
along. Good, whole-souled, CON
panionable conductors; aln't roa
in tho country where the passenger
) feel more at home. Fo passes; ever
passenger pays full traffic rates 70
his ticket. Wcsleyan-house ail
h,.o,t,e ~, olI Trains ino. DrpttV sal