The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1880-01-21
Hunting the Shears.

Mrs. Major Wheelock, wife OF that
old pioneer and eminently respected
citizen of that name, leaned over the
banister the other morning and answered
him:
"The shears? Why, they are right
down there somewhere. l was using
them not five minutes ago."
The major wanted them to trim off a
horseblanket at the barn, and he
marched into the sitting-room and up to
the family work-basket. Or course
they were there. He tumbled a ball Of
yarn, paper of pins, a half-made gar
ment, q button-box and q pin-cushion
off on the floor, made dive among the
bodkins, worsted, threads and darning-
needles. and the shears did not turn up.
He stood the wor rk-basket on its head,
but it was no good. Then he went over
to the what-not and raked off three or
four photographs, ratified down a lot of
shells and knocked off two books, but
| the shears were not there. He was red
| in the face as he went into the hall and
called out:
Il can't find hide nor hair of 'em,
and 1 don't believe you ever had any"
Now look again-thats a good
man." she replied. 81 know they are
right there"
The major got down on his hands and
knees and looked under the lounge. No
shears. Then he stood up and looked
on the mantel. The nearest approach
to shears there was a bent hair-pin.
Then he walked around and surveyed
each window-sill and gave the work
basket another racket,
II tell you there amt no shears here,
or else I'm blinder'n bait" he shouted
from the hall alter he had given the
hall.tree 4 looking over.
why, major, how impatient you
arem
"There's no impatience about it! I
tell you the shears amt here! No one
can ever find anything in this house!
had to LOOK straight hour the other
day to find the gimlet!'
"1f you don't see them in the bed
room I'll come down"
He entered the bedroom, glanced over
the bureau and stand, pulled the shams
off the pillows and whirled the pillows
around, and then took down a hair-oil
bottle from a bracket and looked into
it. The shears were not in the bottle
nor anywhere else. Stay! They might
have been carried under the bed by that
mysterious household tide which car
ries articles from room to room in an in
visible manner. He crawled under,
bumped his head on the Stats, got dust
in his throat, and was backing out with
blood in his eye when his wife called
out:
"Why, what on earth are you after?"
AFTER! Afterm he shouted, as he
almost coughed his head Off" I'm after
them shears!"
"Why, here they are! They were
lying in my sewing chair, right in plain
sight"
II don't believe it'll never believe
it! I looked into that chair over ten
thousand times!"
"Well, there they are"
"It's no such thing! You've lost 'em
or pawned 'em or traded 'em for gum.
You've no more order in your house than
an old cooper shop"
He walked past the chair into the hall
and was going out when she called:
Dear, aren't you going to take the
shearsp"
"Shears? What shears' I'm going
over to the store and buy me pair of
shears, and if any human being in this
house ever puts finger on 'cm they'll
suffer for it! I'll see if l can't have u
pair of shears in my house after being
married for upward of forty-three
years."
And he pulled down his hat and
slammed the door with all his might as
he went out.-Dcta OFT Free Press.