Morning journal and courier., 1880-02-05

The leader of the German-Bismarck- - Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 The Spaniards have proverb that ''a pa- per cigarette, glass of fresh water and the kiss of pretty girl will sustain man for g day without eating"
 The ladies have an infallib1e remedy against the kissing preachers. s'Let them eat onions,' D says the Buffalo Express with all the anima- ton due to sudden discovery. It was a delicate piece of sarcasm in the boarder who sent his landlady last evening a razor, neatly enclosed in handsome silk lined case, and labeled Butter knife. If it be true that everything good in man leans on something higher" we see no reason why the soles of men should not rest on the mantelpiece. -Hackensack Republican.
 A city broker visiting a country lady and wishing to increase her knowledge of affairs, asked her if she knew what watering stock meant; to which she replied, s'Of course do; it is giving the COWS drink
 The Hoboken minister who kissed his cook was asked to resign. sfThe minister was not wise," suggests the Oil City Derrick. ''He should have kissed the ladies of his conerega- tion, and his salary would have been raised" "
 The superintendent of public schools in Boston is preparing school reader which will contain more fairy tales and less stories about honest farmers. May be he found stone in the bottom of his jar of butter.-Detroit Free Press.
 Vice President Wheeler went to state din ner at the White House last week lon foot under an umbrella" and sswith republican simplicity" as correspondent says. But the question is, did he ever get his umbrella again Buffalo Express.
 Katie is 8 red-headed, black-eyed baby just too cute for any use. The other night she closed her little prayer as follows ssDod -,Io oko dood 1itfIa dirl'-ond han, forgetting for whose sake, she added, sfor pity's sake, amen."-Steubenvill Herald.
 An ingenious manager in Burlington has made drop-curtain representing an enor- nous bonnet, with sprays of flowers and dropping plumes. This is let down on the play early in the first scene, and is kept down all the evening, and the audience seeing about as much of the play as it is accustomed to seeing, goes away delighted. Burlington Hawkeye.
 Jones had occasion to write of a list of the wealthy men of the country. Jenkins, hap pening to cast his eye over it, noticed that he had placed an apostrophe after each name. 'What's this, Jones ?" says Jenkins, s'what's this apostrophe doing here after each name ?" Whats it doing 1" replied Jones. .I guess you never studied Browns Grammar, Jenks ]; if you had you'd see that the apostrophe de- notes the possession of property. .'"-Boston Advertiser.
 The boys were telling me pretty good one about young fellow named Blakie. He was in the hardware line. One day, when the boss was at dinner, countryman came in to buy some nuts. He wanted dozen. Young Blakie looked at the price list and found they were listed s'25 cents dozen, 30 off," He gave low, inverted whistle, and then, with 8 sudden inspiration, he handed the customer five cents, and told him he could buy the nuts at the other store. By George" he said, when he was telling the Governor of the tran saction, II thought the best thing could do was to save the nuts, anyhow. ."-Burlington HaWkeye.
 The gay -plumed bird, whose gorgeous, fan-lke tail Doth dirt around the barn. yard like vessels sail, Whose warning squawk is heard pleasant days and murky, L We think of thee and how long to eat thee lovely
 turkey!