The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-03-04
JOTTINGs AND CLIPPINGS.

Misses don't eount-except in the
Treasury Department.
The reason figures won't lie is because
they were made to stand for something.
IF they would allow Charlie Ross
twenty dollars a week, now, he ought to
be able to 81 find himself"
LEAP year hasn't PANIED out worth a
cent for old maids. Men are such BASH
full creatures, you know.
4 IT takes a butcher only thirty days to
learn how to sell bones with the meat,
while it takes a customer a lifetime to
learn how to buy 'em separate.
DRYDEN wrote that half the coed feel
ing in giving was in the keeping still
about ii, but there were only a few news
papers in those days.
. A GEORGIA man fred seven shots at a
wild cat, killing his dog, wounded a
farmer in the leg, and put one o fhis own
eyes ont. The wildcat escaped.
BUSINESS may be so brisk that a man
can't spare time enough for lunch; yet
a slight of,hand performer on the street
always has a grown-up audience.
a SCHOOb G6dCn6I dl nays SlIy, Nds,s
froze her toes while walking a distance
of forty rods, but of course she had a
young man with her and they were about
thirty minutes on the trip.
LAST year 4 ,762 more people left
Liverpool fer this country than left the
year before. In 1873, III, 9~14people left
England for America, which goes to show
that there were more s psible folks in
Britain than most people thought.
MARY JANE HAY, a pupil in the
Normal School at st. Louis, failing to
pass an examination, recently, was so
chagrined that she quit school and
mysteriously disappeared from herhome.
After a search of two weeks, she was
found acting in the capacity of a
domestic.
A PECULIAR velocipede is used on rail-
road tracks in Kansas by telegraph re-
p~airers. 1t hiss two wheels like a BIZ
cycle, which run on one track, and over
which the rider sits, while a smaller
wheel, for ~steadyipg, rests on the other
track. Twenty miles an hour is
practicable with it.
DIR. PRUDEN walked int, a PRAYER
meeting at Benton, Mimi, with an open
DlDID III OuS udUu duu d GOCh0u TSNOlfSI
in the other. He SAID there had been
altogether too much controversy over
the meaning of a certain scriptural pas
sage, and that he meant to kill anybody
who differed with him on the subject.
He was hurried off to an insane asylum.
A CHICAGO Clergyman began a sermon
with the following story of a man who
was noted for his ugliness: Being at
q party, he had taken no part in the
dance, as his hostess had some difficulty
in providing him with a partner. At
last she led up to him a prim and aged
spinster. at the same time whispering a
few words of apology in his ear. "Oh,
you needn't make any apology" said he,
jumping up with alacrity, "auy old
thing is good enough for me-"
, A BUFFALO saloon-keeper has fallen
heir to an Austrian estate of So, 1000, 900
Virtue is always rewarded. If this sa
loon-keeper had been a wicked editor
working twenty-seveu hours a day, the
probabilities would have been that he
wouldn't have fallen heir to a single
cent When he comes into possession Of
the money the world will be in about the
condition the moon row is. And Proc
tor says it will take a few billion year
to effect this change.
t Mrs. WATTS (Arna Mary Hewitt
} tells in a new edition of her CAR
5 Student in Munich" of a talk which sht
had with Kaulbach shortly before thu
: artist died. "They spoke of the ole
? times when she was working in hi
studio. 'Ahp said the master, n !
in those days was ambitious; I wal
/ sick with ambition. I have now gained
| all that streve after, and l have founC
it-nothing,'"
A WESTERN man, having lost hi
. wife, was accosted by a sy~mpatbizinl
q friend, who remarked upon his woe-be
: gone appearance. well, l guess you
/. would look thin. too" was the melan
g chely rejoinder, eff you had to get VI
t before daylight, make the fires, draV
e water, split wood, and feed the cattle
+ all before breakfast. l just tell vol
8 what it is, if I don't get somebody to fiji
/ poor, dear, sainted Maria's place, | wll
+ be resting by herside before many week
. are past"
u PROF. PROCTOR doesn't wish to leay
= the gloomy impression upon his audi
J ences that when the planets have rul
= their course, as the moon has done, al
: life must cease. While some worlds ar
). dying, other worlds are coming into life
he says. We suppose that Procto
knows. 1t is a comfort to be assure
!. that when this globe of u ceases to b
inhabitable and is dead, another fresl
. one will be ready to take boarders at tn
same old rates. We have become some
= what attached to the sensation calle'
= living, and would like to think that j
y was going to be kept up by somebod
q after we have got through.