The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1880-08-28
FUNNYGRAPHS.


sity.
a WHEAT field is the place to cereal
prosperity.
No hangman ever stretched neck of
land. Nee York Nclcs.
TITLE of Tanners lecture: "Vindica-
ton of the Watermelon
LOVE makes many right arm go to
waist.-Ben FrGnkija.
BUFFALO proverb-Thc race is to the
horse with the best jockey"
THE man who lost his balance was out
of his weigh-Nctc Y0rk NctcS
THE western papers tell Of boy who
"peered fatally into the muzzle of a shot
gun.
ALL railroads to Watering places have
a right to call themselves great trunk
lines.
WE try to be right, and it was only
yesterday we declined one of our own ar
ticles.- FaUcjo Chronicle.
He is a wise man who can tell on
which side his bread is buttered in these
days of oleomargarine.- Ncto orleans
Times.
4 CORRESPONDENT Of the Indianapolis
~
cal procession as " the pulsatile rhythm
of hammered sheepskin"
THE coming campaign promises to be
a hot one In this city alone thirteen
men have already had their noses singed
by conl oil torches. - PhiiadcIphia
CHrOnicic.
THE New Orleans Picay4ne alludes
to the bicycle as the whirligig of time.
Fortunately for the whirli9ig, it brings in
its revcnges-Nc1o York Commercial
1drertiSer
THE bathing suit worn by the BOYS
along the river front fits well and is very
simple and inexpensive. 1t consists of
wad of cOttonin each r.-PhiIodciphia
ChrORictc.
THAT prisoner has a very smooth
countenance," said the Judge to the
sheriff eyes," responded the sheriff
she was ironed Just before he was
brought in. "
Mrs CooDLE was telling Jane that the
potatoes had an oniony smell, when that
Monster Coodle suggested that perhaps
they had been cooking i'll a saucepan
with a leak in it,
Nor A GUN.-A little boy being told
by his mother to take a powder she had
prepared for him Powder, powder"
said he, putting on roguish smile,
"mother, [ amt a gun.
To be a New York policeman man
must not weigh less than 13S pounds,
but he must be'able to give as many more
pounds to the poor creatures whom he
arrests.-BOstOn Courier.
How shall we get the Young men TO
church, is the title of an article in a re-
igious weekly. Get the girls to go,
sainted brother, get the girls to go
PhiladclphiG thFonicle.
DoN'T be afraid to praise your ser
wants when they deserve it, F." remarks an
exchange; but, the minute the husband
tries that on the hired girl she has to
hunt for another situation.
THE Argo tells of girl Just returned
from Boston high school, who said. up
on seeing a fire engine ut work: E" Who
would evan have dweamed that such a
vewy dimmutive appawatus could hold
so much wattah %
A NEBRASKA Indian contrived to swat
low lot Of dynamite, and now he can
stand around the corner and call white
man anything he chooses without being
kicked for his insoence They're shy Of
Earring him, even.
a GALVESTON merchant asked another
if clerk who had been in the employ of
the lattCr was honest. ''I can't tell for
certain, was the response; che does all
the collecting, but he has never brought
ID a cent yet"
EVERY other man You meet these
mornings has q fish-pOle and all other
angling accoutrement8, and is huIriedly
walking towards the good fishing places.
The singular thing about it is that you
never meet man coming from the fish
ing ground. They always sneak home
by some cross road. And yet the elastic
fish story rolls easily from their tongues
the next day.-NclC Hactn RcgiStcr.
MABEL: Give rs cake, auntie. |
know you've got one in your basket.
AuntIe Tan early riser)-NO, dear, they
are roses I've been gathering, and they
wouldn't like being given TO a little girl
who gets up SO late in the morning.
Mabel: Go on, auntie, they wouldn't
mind; they lay in their bed all day,
when they gets a chance, and nobody
don't pick them.
A YOUTH havingimportuned his father
JOI al lblSCy Tie 1IIutlis9tut tdItiIb llt-
scented him with the ancient steed which
for years had carried him about the city
streets. A few days afteward the atfec-
tionate son interviewed his father and
renewed his request, saying: "Father,
can't you give me a horse a little nearer
my own age that would be more Of
companion for me?
A LITTLE five-year-old girl, who is re-
ceiving kindergarten course in object
lessons, was told recently by her teacher
that the camel had four stOmachs. Tx
aiming the block representations of this
beast of the desert for a moment, to de
eide where he carried them all, the little
one pointed to tie hump and exclaimed;
ooh, mamma, and there's where he
keeps them, don't hep
THE timid woman who sees a hurrl-
cane in every cloud 10 bigger than
mans hand goes about greeting every
male passenger with the query, Be ye
the captain?" At last Providence directs
her to the right man. ooh. captain, IS
there going to be a storm? 81 guess
So SAYS the wicked captain, . looks
kind of black over there " Oh, cap
tain. is there's there any fear
Lots. ma am, says the captain, Wink
ING 10 his subordinates. "Iots OF teari
but not q bit Of danger CON