New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-04-11
observation-disclosures YROUBLES

It may have been tho morning hash. 1t may have
been the beef or the butter. 1t may have been the
unsuccessful and unrisen rolls. Perhaps it was the
malign combination of all these indigestblities.
But certain it is, that there was trouble
in an uptown boardinG-hOuse, which Gull
minated last Monday afternoon in the shoot
ing of DIR. Theophilus Steele by Mr.. William
z. Sawyer. The last-named gentleman COM
planned to the landlady about the quality
of the rations provided by her for her helpless
patrons lie said that he could stand it no longer.
The andlady. necessarily aggrieved, told him that
he must leave. He refused to do so, and began to
order victuas to be brought to his room. DR..
Steele sided with the woman. It is curious but
there is always somebody In such house who sides
with its mistress. The quarrel went on. Digestion
frequently bad enough in such establishments. grew
worse and worse. Temper deteriorated proportion
ately. Mrs. Sawyer declared that Dr. Steele had
threatened to put her out of her misery as boarer
and to save her from further Dangs of indigestion
by shooting her with pistol. AS a further indig-
nifty, one Of the waiter-boys flung spit-ball $50
caed) at Mrs Steele The result Of all this is that
Mr.. Sawyer is In the Tombs and DR.. Steele in bed
with q bullet wound in bis face as infamed as his
temper.
Hero, indeed, is o melancholy denouement. We
only wish we knew whether it was the hash or the
inquest, which the fates prevent we beseech tho
Coroner to look into that particular matter. For
we take upon ourselves to say that If all these quar-
relsome people had only been provided with proper
breakfasts, and long series of dinners upon which
memory might fondly dwell, there would have been
nO.quarrel and no shooting. Blandness wOuld have
taken possession of their perturbed bosoms, and O
sweet serenity broOded over the whole establishments
from the sub-cellar to the attic DR. Sawyer would
have blessed the cook. and remembered her in his
prayers if no ever made any. II Is true that some
susceptible boarder might have fallen in love with
the landlady, and the precision of his digestive
processes been thus destroyed; but he would only
have been one, and if he had proved troublesome in
his amorous prOtestatiOns, the other bland and
boarlers would have united in gently
but firmly eIDeling him from this paradiaacal re-
treat All would have gone on pleasantly. There
would have been billing and eOolng in tho parors.
There would have been pretty tunes played upon
the rattle-trap of q piano. Each inmate would
have amilingy greeted his UiS-d-vis through the
steam Of the grateful soup. All the diners would
have amiably congratulated each other upon the
extreme tenderness, the succulent juiciness Of the
beef. There would have been touching faith even
In the lemon nlaiHgRe. All would have been like
birds In their little nests while the landlady woud
have seemed to every grateful guest, If not form
Of life and light at least very superior sort of
woman. Instead Of which, grOwls. grumbles, fell
threats. and pistol balls IT'S enough
10 make marble image takeo out its handkerchief.
In the chronic hostility between the landlady and
tho boarder we take neither side. much preferrinp
IN attitude of philosophical neutrality only we
wish that the former would remember that q man
who il not pleased with his dinner Is dangerous
animal and can hardly be expected to maintain |
bland and equabe carriage. He has rights which |
iislandlady is bound to respect and vcs Usrsa and
ince bad cooking is at the bottom Of about half |
he trouble in the world, what missionary. physi-
el aud spiritual, conscientious and capable EN-
'ress Of q clearinghouse might he.