Middletown transcript., 1880-04-10
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mIDDLETOWN, DEL.
SATURDAY MORNING, APRIL 10, 1880.
CHIPS.

Iron has gone up so high that poor peoPl,
cannot afford to have it their blood now.
IfEve had lived 1879 years later than sh,
did, she never would have been satisfied will
less than $50 Is worth Of trimmings on he
new spring fig leaf.
A small Middletown boy who ate half {
peck of apples, recently, surprised his font
parents by saying that he was enjoying q
very fruit-full season.
1t seems passing strange that any coloret
citizen should aspire to a seatEn the counci
halls of the nation, when, as the head waiter
of snubby hotel, such grand opportunitie!
are before him.
We never pick up a newspaper, but we looE
for the obituary of the man vino carries of
the editors favorite exchange before be j:
done with it. And somehow, we are sorry
when it isn't there.
Bob Ingersoll first lectured on He'll, then on
Burns, and now on Paine. Rather natural
sequence Waterloo Observer
"Life on the Plains" book just ont, won't
be much of success. Only six Indians killed
in the first chapter.-N. Y. Express.
The front hall Of a fashionable residence is
a very hat racktive resort for fellow who
wants good overcoat.-Sandie Stone.
A New York publisher announces "Insects
Abroad a companion volume to 'Insects at
Home" We prefer them absoad.-NorristoWn
Herald
We give you here word that's wise, al
though through print It's rum Don't put
your faith in lottery prize, or the muzzle of
a gun.-0wego Record.
A young lady modestly informs US that if
her sex have Dothing to do with cheeky chaps
they will not have chappy cheeks to contend
with YonkerS Gazette.
The darkest hour is not just before the
dawn, as has been stated some years ago, but
it is just after the gas company has shut down
on elinquent.-Hackensack Republican.
Rev. Mr.. Talmage asks each person who
reads his sermons 10 contribute one dollar to-
ward paying of the debt of his church This
lets newspaper men out.-NorristoVn Herald
Canadian woman asks: "Oh why will
not woman be wise and keep out of second
marriages ~ Its because those pesky men
will ask them not TO, we suppose.-Syracuse
Herald.
The nihilists are probably so called because
whenever they go cunning tor a monarch,
they get nothing. At least they only get
hanged, and that isn't what they want
Burlington HGarkeye.
In other days it used to be the height Of
maiden's ambition to secure husband, but
now she aspires to manufacture bed quilt
and see how many pieces she can crowd into
it.-Danisl8onUiHe Sentinel.
A leetle the proudest and happiest people
on earth are young husband and wife when
they make their first appearance on the street
with new baby carriage and new baby in
it.-Father Smith, Of Syracuse
When man is startled at something, and |
says, II hear a noise" it probably never oc-
ours to him that there is nothing else in this |
wide world that anybody can hear but a
roise.-Syracuss Sunday Times.
Ii is astonishing how full four women can |
fill church pew made 10 accommodate six, |
when some woman they don't like comes
along the aisle inquiringiy looking for place
to sit down.-SteubenUiILe Herald.
A citizen Of Racine, we learn from one Of |
the papers, who was working on a model |
which he designed getting patented, filed his
caveat. People cannot be too careful while
working with edged tools.-Peck's Sun.
Editors all unite in asking Edison to invent
a style Of newspaper columns that will llenable
each seperate advertiser to have space next
to the reading matter, and at the top of the
column. There's millions in it.-Romney In
teIligencsr.
The latest puzzle is this:
Hard Eggs.
Boiled Man.
The trick is to get the eggs inside the man
without breaking the shells.-DetroU Free
Press.
A man out west obtained divorce from his
wife and married again within three DAYS
after the decree was granted. An rishman,
commenting upon the mans action, remarked:
"Bedad, be codldn't have much respict for his
first wife to be marryin' again so soon after
LAWN her. ."-ROme Sentinel
He had but one taste of her love-poutiug lips,
Though his heart for some more loudly
hollers,
And sends The warm blood 10 his fat finger
tips,
When he thinks of that eighty-four dollars
Tom B. ChryStaI
The rage for old and next 10 worthless fur
niture mas become so great among American
bric-a-brac lovers, that an enterprising Yankee
has started manuactory to supply the de-
mand, and he will make you a chair brought
over by the Pilgrim fathers while you wait for
il. P. S.-Name this paper when you visit
his shop.-NorriSt0WR HerdLd
"Women seldom strike, says an exchange"
Yes, that is SO but when they do, you
usually find man bunting an easy place 10
jump the yard fence. -Hiddietown Transcript
That may be the right thing TO do under some
circumstances but when you are in third
story room thirty feet from the ground, jump {
ing the yard fence is about rs feasible as
fencing yard jump. How does that strike
you, brother Way ?-Hackensack Republican.
Too high above the belt, Tom. When you
are struck that high up, compromise BY the
prom ise of new bonnet with stuffed bird
on the gable end. That's your only saliva