Feliciana sentinel. [volume] (St. Francisville, La.) 1877-1892, 1880-12-18
A DARWINIAN RODENT.

II Ian nW1NlAN RODENT.
I nero was rat who learned to read, a,
had thoughtful mind,-
10 science and philosophy his tastes we
all inclined;
f"r novels, news, and politics, alike +
thought them vain,
TIC scornel all tales Of scandal, Josh Ri
lings and Mark Twain;
And cen tho last dispatches from til
bloody fields OF war
10 him were dull and stupid as the ioxo
on mother-in-law.
Inc books he took delight in were writ
ten by wise men sir;
for Darwin was his f.vorite, and mex
was Herbert Spencer,
! OfthcSe he read, on these he tbourht
aud pon'lerc@ DER the mystery
VI the struggle fnrrXist:nco in the rcalms
Unnatural history:
liow boots and claws, and wings and tails,
by use arc slowly gainc.l,-
Races on each other preying till bal
ance is maintained;
The survival of the tlttest, and, since first
the world began,
The gradual Development of monad, mon
key, man. ~---"~.",
lie pondercd deep. he reasoned well. md
then he Plainly saw
lhat rats and mice are rats and mice. INT
by this simple law:
IS INC cats that prey upon them from
n
That have checked their onward procross
III the rat-and- -mousey stage:
And could the cats be rid of. ar,i,, THAR
race NIGH, grow,
AS the avala.,ciie develops from the roll
ing ball of snow.
So lie called grand convention of the
rats and Of the mice,
And, having them assembled, thus he
gave them his advicc:-
"Comc hihcr, all yc mice a, Il rats,
no spend your lives in fear of cats,
Al! listen t"a plan Fvc got,
~ which we may cXalt our lot;
Just let us get Il little bell
And lie it round each eats mock we'll;
i hen we can hear 'cin when they're coming
Ana r1n into our holes Il Cumming.
hen when cats can catch rats to cat |
l hey ii soon find ont that grass is sweet: |
" hen they eat grass they'll lcsc thcirclaws |
Aud ll""ts will grow out on their paws;
Their feline teeth will soon drop out,
And i'll place incisors sprout,
And when they've eaten it - heap
They all will tuln to little sheep.
Then no more cats will be so nice
|or all us little rats and mice;
'or, as is well known to youall,
It's living in holes that keeps ns small;
But then we all may take our case
\nd 1.-Two about just where VIC please,
md It's Us plain as any tiggcr
No ali will grow great deal bigger;
II fact, l think there is no reason
No may not grow Il foot each season.
thus, fast acquiring size and strength,
Fe'll eat those mutton cats at length,
md, living but on blood and brains,
IS lions do, we'll all have names,
md grow so fierce and carni-vccr-ons
hat even men themselves will fear us ;
or if, in spite Of all the cats,
here arc SO many mice and rats,
lis plain we all are fitted for
reat Natures internccinc war; ;
nd may, If once We turn the scales, 1
'cvelop to tho size of whales.
D do not doubt me by Il look,
or all is proved in Darwins book.
only needs to bell tho cats t
ho rest will follow-bct your hats" i
ben rose an old grandfather rat, who lis
tened with attention:
Lot unanimous approval be tho sense of
this convention. IT
9aven bless our fellow-rodcnt, who, with
super-rat ambition,
US solved the problem how we may ex- '
alt our low condition,
nd circumvent the feline race, and mako .
it come tolaSS
nat, like Nebuchadnezzar, they shall all Il
be sent to grass. Il
ire our children in his honor many mon
umcnts shall raise,
I'd our sculptors sculp his image, and +
our poets sing his praise: u
I'd children shall be named for him like II
sands along tho seas Il
ore numerous than George Washingtons :,
and likewise Robert Lees. IL
tho crowning glory that a t
mortal rat can ask, Il
put tho bells upon the cats. shall DO s.
his his valiant task"
ell the learned rat looked thoughtful, a
but wild hurrah arose, il
ratify this pleasant scheme of vengc- 8;
ance on their foes; NJ
len, midst their loud rcjOicings, alas !!
it must be told, IL
'at Sprang III upon them, Hko Woli iC
upon tie fold, b
IT for their holes they scampcrcd, but =
ali she was too quick;
lit upon that learned rat, like many a fo
hundred brick.
feartulest catastrophe! oil, fatal at
turn of luck! n,
fate was as tao Junoy-bugs o'crtak- M
Ell by tho duck. ~
IL the hall was all deserted in tho T.,
twinkling Of an eye,