The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-09-11
The American Brass Band.

mcuichl IueA tf5 Iouu OF undlng In
some one particular cause the origin
of all the evils to which the race is
subject. At one time they assumed
that the great first cause of disease was
the adulteration of food, and they con-
clusively demonstrated that every ar
ticle of food consumed by civilized
man was adulterated with unwhole-
some and poisonous ingredients suf-
| ficient in quantity and quality to pro.
duce death in rather less than twenty
| four hours. After o while the public
| tired of hearing of the adulteration OF
food, and tho doctors then took up
the fascinating topic of sewerage, and
informed us that all our houses were
filed with sewer gas to such an extent
as to render it certain that we must
all die of typhus fever, diphtheria,
| cholera and several other choice as
sorted diseases in the course Of six or
eight weeks. Now We hear a great
deal less about sewer gas than we
were forced to hear two or three weeks
ago, and the contamination of water is
the favorite topic of medical and sani-
tary writer's. 1t seems that, with per-
haps one or two exceptions, every
well, cistern, spring and aqueduct in
the country contains the germs of
thirty-eight distinct and deadly fevers,
besides those of nearly all other promi-
ment and popular diseases. While it
is, Of course, creditable to the doctors
that they have discovered that food,
sewer-gas and water are each the sole
cause of all diseases, it is odd that
they have failed to notice the deadly
nature of the American brass band. 1t
is nearly time for them to find q new
scapegoat to take the place of contami
mated water, and there is no doubt
that the brass band win prove a per-
| fectly satisfactory substitute.
The chief reason of the fatal character
of our brass bands is the fact that they
are, with very rare exceptions, con-
structed on the model of the bands in
use among African native kings, which
consist entirely of drums and tin horns.
Our band-masters appear to be as
ignorant of reeds as is the King of
Uganda. Instead of employing clarion
| cts to carry the melody, and depending
upon brass instruments for harmonic
| effects, they use cornets exclusively, and
then try to drown the shrek and blare of
! those execrable instruments with big
bass drum. To the American, as to the
native African mind, . band consists of \
drum and miserable apology for horn.
The other brass instruments seem to be
added only to increase the volume of
sound. and are rarely permitted to form
anything but the simplest chords with
the cornets.
/ The drum is, of the two, more impor-
tant in the American brass band than is
the cornet. The drummer conceives
that his business is to conduct the band,
and he bangs away with apparently no
other object than that Of marking time.
| He does this so steadily and conscien-
tiously that he renders the conductor
with his baton entirely superfuous, and
compels the other instruments to sink by
/ comparison into insignificance. There
are times when the occasional note of the
bass drum is tolerable, and in certain
passages syncopated notes may be struck
by the drummer with really fine effect
| In the American brass band, however
1 the drum recalls the sweet music OF a
lumber wagon humping over q rough
road, and imparts to the entire band the
musical character of machine shop in
busy operation.
The effect of the brass band upon the
health and spirits of a community where
it prevails can be ascertained with very
| investigation, and even DR.. Tracy could
probably find out something about it in
the course of ten or fifteen years of care
full observation. It is of great use to
unprincipled hotel-keepers in confusing
the mind of the public and paralyzinl
its will. For example, there is o hotel a
the head of Lake George, where thu
steamboat from the lower end of the
lake and the stages from the railway sta
ton stop before proceeding to the Other
hotel. Whenever stage or steamboa
is sighted the astute hotel-keeper orders
his band to play. 1t is probably one .
the most deadly bands in the country
and the traveller who hears it straight
way becomes wholly unable to perform
the smallest process of thinking. H
may have previously determined to go t
another hotel, but with the awful strain
Of the brass band ringing in his ears, h
falls an immediate and helpless prey to
horde of colored walters, and is led int
the hotel, busted, assigned to room, an,
taken to dine with the other prisoners il
the great hall before he realizes his con
; dition. The power of the America
brass band to produce mental imbecilit,
and total loss of willpower, is an evi
which cannot be over-estimated, an
which can be combated only by the com
plete suppression of the band.
Many people imagine that the disorde
, which frequently disgraces excursio
parties is due to intemperance. On thu
contrary. it is due to the inevitable bras
band. Men may embark on board a.
excursion steamboat where not a drop G
ardent spirits can be obtained, and afte
hearing the brass band play the ''Mull
gan Guards" and "Whoai Emma fiftee
times each, they fall upon one anotheri i
frenzy and fight like tigers Can an
, one point to fight which has take
place on an excursion steamboat wher
/ there was no brass band in active opers
ton? OF course, no one can. It is, ther
. the fatal influence of the band whic
leads the mild tailor to rise up and harI
the unoffending shoemaker, and trans
, forms the peaceable baker into BLOOD
) thirsty maniac 1t is in vain that th
t police authorities try to keep the peac
where brass bands exist. 1t cannot b
done, for the baass drum and the corn'
Z will induce even women to tear eac
others hair and to throw camp
stools at men who have not eve
been formally introduced to then
1t may readily be imagined that if q
: accident occurs to steamboat on boar
of which a brass band has been playin
!. a panic is inevitable. The band havin
temporarily demoralized the nervoI
D system of the passengers, and reduce
a them to mental imbecility, they Al
s utterly unable to help themselves wht
brought face to face with danger, al
: give way to the widest panic. No pr
: dent person should dream of taking pa
sage on board steamboat where bra
a band is permitted. It is true that sue
$ steamboats, occasionally have long il
n / munity from disaster, but when the i
il evitable accident does come the CO
} equence will be fearful
e Space will not permit the discusssi,
y of the long train Of nervous and cerebr
!. diseases which the American brass bal
r produces. It may, however, be safe
said that in this respect it is far wor
d than murder. It may not be necessa
u to totally abolish the brass band, but |
!, !. first step in reform-tIe killing of I
n drummer and the Draining Of the corn
player with his own Instrumentation
not be delayed single day.-NeU 70