Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1880-01-21
From Scribner's "Bric-a- Brac."
Some Quick Replies.

DR.. b, who was for many years
associated with the University Of Viz
ginia, was noted for his quickness Of
retort, and some of his repartees, which
are fading out of contemporary memory,
are worthy Of preservation.
One, many years ago. being on q
visit to Washington, he thought he re
cognized friend in the man who was
Immediately before HIM.
How are you p he said, clapping the
supposed TREND tamiliarly on the shoul-
der.
The stranger, turning stilliy, answered
with some resentment:
Ny nameis Hull, SIR
L beg your pardon said the pro-
fessor. Twas looking for the Colonel
On another occasion, as ne was
walking, looking ntcntly at something
in the street, q man coming in the
opposite direction, aud who was gazing
with equal eamestness into a shop
window, ran shoulder to shoulder
against him. The stranger, drawing
himself up with extreme ha"iew said;
Why did you run against me !?
With equal severity the. professor
answered in exact imitation Of bis quos-
toner's tone and manner:
For precisely the reason that you ran
against me- and the encounter ended in
good-natured laugh.
A gentleman, coming into his office
one day, said:
Doctor, why do you keep your room
so hot: It's like an oven
1T must be answered promptly,
for 1t is here that | make ny bread
Many years age this incident was
told in one of the magazines but the
point was somewhat missed, as The con-
tributor or printer made it bake in
stead OF make.
On visit to New York publishing
house, against which he had 4 claim Tor
six hundred dollar, he was usherad into
an office where one Of the firm sat on q
high office stool, pomrously shcllna
letters. The professor stood awaiting
recognition; but no notice was taken
ofhim. Finally, the small busines.
man, twisting himself around on Ii.
perch, said, in the most suQerciGous q
tones:
What?
That said the professor, handing
the order for the mdney.
The business was settled without
another word.
a very urosomc civil engineer ha'
been yexing the righteous soul cf on'
of the Uniycrity professors, who. for
Joke, and to rid himself Of tie nuisance
sent him TO DR.. J. with his engineer
ing schemes, as TO coneonial m,
sympathetic soul. lie therefore came
with high hopes, and uafoldod hls
schemes several times with wear-som'
multiplicity Of detail to the devoted
professor, when ,he listeners in
patience made itself felt. The cngineo
continued to say. Just one moment
Professor, one thing more Finally
his hearers much tried patience showc'
signs Of utterly giving way, whereug OF
the pateutee again said:
L only want to show you one thin.
more, Professor. 1 have invented
short method Of boaring mountains,
which .hink will prove very valuable.
Ny de ar SIR burst forth the wear.c,
listener, if YOU would only invent
short method Of boring individuals yoi
would indeed confer q lasting bened
upon the race The engineer depay
ted.
a would-be Wratelu, who was th'
head OF a large variety and notol
business, was constantly annoying th'
doctor with his preleuslons' On on
occasion he said:
Doctor, l have an idea'--
No, no, my dear Il said th
doctor a little lmpAtiently, You are
mistaken, you deal in notions, not Il
ideas
On another occasion the same gentle
man broke in upon a conversation with
the sudden agd irrelevant question:
Doctor, did you eyer read Shakspere:
The listener struggieda moment in
silence with his indignation, aud then
assuming a mystifed air. asked in tn
most commonplace tone.
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