Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-06-24

The Hip Pocket.
What is known among tailors as
the ''hip-pocket' is exclusively a
characteristic of the American species
Of man.
MIR. Withers is not Western man,
and is wholly unacquainted with
whisky but his recent experience of
the incompatibility of hip-pockets
and glass bottles was very painful
and embarrassing. He had returned
to his Orange county home from a
bllef visit to New York, and had
brought with him as present for
Miss WilsOn--to whom he was be.
trothed--a boutIe Of that remarkable
cement which is sold by sidewalk
merchants, and which is by them
represented as being much stronger
than wrought iron. 1t had occurred
to him that this cement would be a
very nice thing to have in his future
house, since with it all sorts of broken
china and glass could be mended,
and everyone knows that children
will break great deal Of china On
the evening Of his arrival home he
put the cement in his hip-pocket and
called on Miss Wilson, intending to
offer it to her as soon as he entered
the house.
Mr. Wltners was ardently attached
70 the young lady, and when he saw
! htt before hiln tic not unnaturally
forgot I'll about such merely earthly
lsattars ~ cement Tie old people
welcomed Ann politely, and after q
few moments ot conversation, with
drew with II discretion which it is to
iu ~.o!cd that all Old people would
cInU.a,e. Bong OF frugal mind,
and knowing that the ncrcit'uI young
man should he merc!ful to bis in
tended fathcr-n-law in point of kero-
seno bills, Nh. Withers promptly
turned down The lamp and proceeded
/ 10 make himself at home.
The bottle was stout one, and
would perhaps have withstood any
ordinary pressure, but IS Miss Viii
son weighed fully liO pounds. and
As the back Of the smal rocking chair
| was Of hard wood, il is not strange
Ilhat the ,ottle yielded Mr.. With
els was so much interested in the
! weather and other subjects such as
usually absorb the attention of young
men in his position. that he, did not
notice the breaking of the glass, and
it WAS not until an hour later that q
false alarm Of ''father in the front
hall. d" induced Miss Wilson to Hee
to tllc sofa, and suggested to Mr.,
Witllcrs the advisability of turning
up the lamp.
The cement had done its work and
Mr.. Wlthers dld not get up to the
hight, but requested the young lady
TO discharge this duty for him. She
did so, and then noticed his painful
and prcoccupiei expression. TO hel
anxious inquiries he admitted that ht
felt a little faint and would like c
glass OF water. Miss Wilson hur.
riedly went for the water, reproach
ing herself for being so heavy, ant
accusing herself Of selfishness ant
want of consideration. In her alb
: sencc the young man made super
human efforts to wrench himsel
loose, but the cement refused t,
yield. When MissWilson returned witt
:. the glass Of water, he looked so mucl
worse that she was really frightened
, and he WAS compelled to tell her th
, real state of the case.
She was " practical person, an'
she promptly proposed to get il
tin-kettle OF hot water and dissolv
1 the cement, but desisted when h
, explained to her that his syster
; would not bear the application {
5 water at the boiling point. She the
timidly suggested that if she were t
cali pa, perhaps pa might lend yo
t a pair but Mr.. Withers said no; b
Y could not bear the modification {
.. being found in such situation b
/ any father. 1t was finally agree
that he should wait to later houl
and should then take the chair hom
G with him. This was accordingly done
II and had not the unfortunate youn
II man been arrested by local const:
:. Bile, who only discharged him whe
It a severe test proved that his posses
I sion Of the chair was purely involui
g tary, his misfortune might new,
it have become generally known. Whe
: disasters such as this are liable
e happen to the wearers Of hip-pocke
it becomes doubtful whether they a.
Iuot altogether too hazardous for gel
I eral use. In fact, good authorize
G maintain that the hip-pockct is pos
d lively detrimental, and that an earl
y est anI united effort should he mat
c 10 secure its extirpation