The Portland daily press., 1880-02-11
Runaway Matches.

Buffalo On. ~ News
In this country, where young men and
maidens who have attained their majority are
not bound to ask for parental permission in
order to marry, one would think that elope-
ments were seldom excusable; but parental
authority can make itself felt in many unpleas-
ant ways. which sometimes force children to
make runaway matches. Say that a girl is
very deeply in love with man whom her
friends dislike. She knows that il she men,
toned his name in the family circle it would
lead to petty prosecutions without number. 1t
is not every girl who has the moral courage to
face this kind of thing: beside which as the
endurance of it could bring about no good re-
suit, seeing that girl who is dependent on her
parents for support can not practically be mar
red from their house unless they please, elope-
ment suggests itself as the solution OF the diff
ticulty. 1t is, at the best, but a very sorry ex-
pedient, and one which, it may be presumed,
few girls adopt without reluctance. To stink
out of house with small bag Of linen in one
hand, to meet the bridegroom in cold, empty
church, and there to be married without we'd
ding dress, bridesmaids or friends: then to
start off on a honeymoon tour with the feeling
that one has, perhaps, quarrelled for life with
father. mother brothers and sisters this is
measure which can only be undertaken with
anything like lightness of heart by very
thoughtess girl or by one of the highest spir-
it's 1t has been noticed, however, that girls
who have happy homes elope more easily than
those who have been much bullied by their
rrends; and this is only natural, for the latter
rat -. Eli h.x~-
py girl, who for once meets resistance to her
wishes, to which she has not been accustomed,
frcts under the curb like restive tilly, and,
deciding to bolt, reflects that she shall be able
10 make matters all right with her friends by
and-by. But the girl who has been brought
up under harsh rule by strong minded parents
IS aware that she must expect impiacable re-
sentiment as the penalty for disobedience. II
she nerves herself to elope, she will only take
This step with fear and trembling; and years Of
her after-life may b spent in abject sorrow at
being unable to effect a reconciliation with
parents whom she will be taught to believe she
has deeply injured. These second acts of the
elopement dramas are often unpleasant for the
actors; and the third ones, which are apt to
eliminate in disinheritance, are less agreeable
still but these chiefly concorn the men. Men
elope from reasons which will not always bear
such close looking into as those which girls
can urge in their defense. A young man OF
good character, industry and fair professional
prospects has so many points in his favor when
urging his suit he is so sure to have the opin-
ION of society on his side il the girls parents
hout him, and he is SO sure to bear down pa
rental opposition in the end, provided he will
ne brave, constant and patient, that an elope-
ment in his case must generally be taken as an
indication of weakness. Men elope from vani-
ty, wishing to prove that they are their own
masters; from deficient courage when they
''hate rows; from shame when they have got
entanged with girls who are much their infe-
riors in social station; and from cunning greed
when they wish to secure heiresses. Abduc-
tions are less common than one might suppose,
because in the first place heiresses are well 4,
guarded, and in the next they usually have
very sharp wits about them; but elopements in
view of messalliances are the commonest things
going. They seldom lead to much good, be-
cause if young gentleman has espOused
housemad. he may possibly obtain forgiveness
from his friends, but he is not likely to get
leave to introduce his wife into his family cir
Gle. As a consequence, he must expect conJu-
gal tiffs, scenes of weeping and Mysteries, fol-
lowed up by ultimate enjoining him to choose
between quarrelng with his knsfolk or seeing
his wife take French leave of his roof. knew
an unfortunate man who, to the disgust OF his
connections, mostly persons OF nigh position.
married bar maid He became rsconciled
with his mother after awhile, but he was una
BILE TO prevail upon her to receive his wife,who
thereupon began to vex his soul with orders ID
be more Jealous in interceding for her. At
last the mother relented that her son might
have peace, and day was appointed for the
two ladies to meet. They sat in glum silence
for the first few minutes of their interview,
then epgrams were exchanged, then recrim-
nations TILL the voices growing shriller and
shriller, scene of shrieking words ensued,
the whole concluding with fainting fits, and
with the deep disgrace OF the husband. who
found he had estranged both his wife and his
hay 1onaralIv this aH
in their elopements, that when the wifes fam
lv pardons. the husband is forthwith admitted
into it. To be sure, this privilege may not be
worth much, when it introduces man OF dell
cate nerves into proud circle of persons who
privately scorn him; nor when it procures him
the honor of being addressed as cousin Dick
by the hawker selling herring outside the club
No general rule can be laid down as to the
propriety or improperly of elopenent Every
separate case must be judged on its merits. III,
on athe one hand, parents often throw too
much cold water on the flames OF a first love,
it must be remembered that the experience OF
elderly people is worth something In forming
auguries about marriage, and that, moreover
the prohibitive No" is often ronounced un-
der the sincere belief that the young people
who want to get married are not so seriously
in love with each other as they appear TO
be. 1t is but seldom that parents will remain
obdurate when they see that mutual attach
nent has stood the wear and tear of years. and
that real unhappiness is caused to the lovers Dy
wishholding from them permission to marry.
I had written thus far when lady to.whom
[ have been reading this little essay, asked me
whether considered that any girl was bound
To anguish for years simpy to convince
puzzle-headed friends that she has made a
good choice in her love. Life is too short"
added my dear critic 'for us TO fling our best
wears away in that fashion; of course, il people
are in love they ought to marry anywhere and
ANY how. That is the way 20 be happy"
To this l have nothing to add, except that
The postulate which lays down that happiness
is the inevitable ressfit of love match las in
it a refreshing novelty, and conveys. by the by.
a most delicate compliment to my fair critics
husband.