The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-04-21
WAIFS AND WHIMS.
HARD-wlzAR-tight boots. a..


hardly ever. -.
TIE difference between a sea and q
saw is in tense.
IF wishes we're fishes what whaling
time we would have. .... - ...i.. -.
NEVER affect to be witty or jest 80 as
o hurt the feelings of another.
MANY sanctimonious minister has
made devil of father
tTHE remains were inquested," Is
phrase from an Iowa newspaper.
No kissing by telephone for us. We
prefer to take the electricity direct
from the battery. r- -.
AN exchange thinks that curryhosslty
takes farmers to the stable before break
fast. -~a@ 5i' 't+"
KITE tails will feel lost when tele-
graph wires have been put under
ground. .ajr ar.es .r.a.sr.3 Eei -'. D..
SPICER says his collar button y like
the celebration Of the Fourth of July
it is sure 70 COME Of ....-r ....
The latest London fog; First pedes--
trian-''I Is your lantern 0ut?" Second
do" don't know. Pll fee"
A GIRL down town has g beau named
Ted, and her little brother has often
seen her buss Ted. Ll 1f .aH. ~.
A NEW paper called W0mat, has
been started in Paris. OF course it will
require i new dress every tT0 months.
A MELANCHOLY. case. Of suicide a
naughty little boy, having been threat
ened with whipping, Immediately hung
his head I.- '.r~....' -f.t.
A LEARNED physician asserts that
impure hood causes more red moses than
whisky dQc4. Cat this ont and paste 1t
on your PROPOSES. ....-r .........
If they are going TO rebuild the
bridge Of Tar, az expected, wouldn't 1t
be : good idea 10 usc something
stronper-cofiee, for instance?
To keep a good resolution give it to
you wife and tell her to pack it away
in the bureau. You'll have it then as
long az the bureau stands. .
IF it be true that " everything good
in man leans on something higher, We
see no reason Whv the zoie5 of men
should not rest on the mantelPieee
, -rA-IETTER was recently dropped into
the mail box directed to . Lorus Can
GERS" The Postmaster guessed 1t was
for Lawrence, kansas, and it went right.
A SAILOR is not a sailor when he IS a
board: sailor is not 3 sailor when he
is a shore; but he must be either
ashore or aboard; therefore, 4 sailor
is not Sailor. .'. a~
: r." You promi ed to pay that bill yes
terday," said an angry creditor to a
debtor. e. Yee;" calmy replied the
other, bat t. err is human, TO forget
divine, and I forgot it."
Mr.. TENNYsnN still devotes himself
10 domestic subjects, for example;
Put the armchair in the attic
1t has earned its needed rest;
For the pair il oft supported
-H Now are married and gone West.
THIS being leap year, Main street
young lady thought she would make a
proposal, and she did. She proposed to
a young man who had been keeping her
up nights that he clear out and give
some one else chance, and he took the
hint and cleared.
WHEN we see q clergyman kissing the
male members of his flock as well as the
female, the tobacco-chewing pipe
smoking, beer-drinking old sinners, as
well as the young and pretty ones, we
begin to believe that his heart is in his
work.
To Mr.. EdisOn-Dear Sir: Where are
we now 2-E1mira Free Press.
Elmira Free Press-Dear Sir: Do not
make light of what you don't under
stand. We have made mistake in our
horses shoe, but are now engaged upon
a mule's.-Edis0n.
+" COME here, you little mule" yelled
one of our citizens to his son. The lad
approached and deliberately looking
into the paternal eye, asked " Papa,
what is mules father?' AMI then the
old man walked abstractedly into the
house to think up an answer to the
conundrum.
PRoFEssoR-"The passive action of
muscles is particularly marked in the
cases of birds, who clutch their perch
merely in consequence of their bodily
weight. In removing a fowl from a
Asn-roost, you have, doubtless found it
pecessary to lift it, and -" (class see
The point).