The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1880-06-26
FUNNYGRAPHS.

Lightly it moved as though wings it had;
Was il Peri, with sweet-volced Iute?
Not was only the maidcns dad,
Who lifted the beau with No. 10 boot
YAwcoB STRAUSS defines "Tennis a,
all for-lawn.
THE bakers morning cry is a roll-caL
-Nc1C York Her0td.
( IT is more dangers to tread on IN
/ corn than any other kind.
CATS have no fixed political beEet.
They are usually on the fence.
"THE hen drinks and stares at heaven,
! so does the man with a schooner.
IT is said that no dentists wife vii
ever allow him to fool around her jaw.
1 SARAH BERNHARDT has discarded her
beau Lecause he was poor but yirtuous
/ The Detroit Free Press says that after
a woman has passed ninety she IS proud
Of her age.
Physic, says an old surgeon, is the art
of amusing the patient while nature
! cures the disease.
THE greatest curiosity which Chicago
! has to show her visitors Is a piece OF UQ-
mOrtgaged ground.
A NEVADA paper promises to support
/ the party that will adopt the Ten Com.
mandments as a platform.
! The Jockey leans on a 2:40 gait.-Bo0
4 ton Transcript And the candidate lean,
on delegate Cincinnati C'oDmcrcja
\ MASSACHUSETTS applicant for
marriage license described himself as "a
! circular sawyer.
The battles Of the 1mion-fght be-
tween husband and wife.-Phiiadc.phiG
I Sunday Item.
WHEN the publishers dress their beau
tiful new books in blue and gold they
can't expect them to be red.-Nclr NJ
teams Pjcay10ac.
"MAhD1A, can't we have anything We
want 2" Eyes, my dears; but be care
full and don't want anything you can't
have.
Now that the summer is coming and
the stoves in the country hotels will be
taken down, what will the people spit
upon ?-H01CkCyC.
SAL SODA was sent to the workhouse
yesterday for telling lie to the officer
and trying to soft-soap the Judge after
/ ward. - Cincinnati star.
+ \ TALKATIvE barber, about to cut a
+ gentlemau's hair, asked him how liz
would have it done. eff possible, IL
silence, " said the gentleman.
1t is a nice moral question whethe,
the underwriters ought to pay lnsur-
ance on canal boats which recklessly set
sail without mailing n horseshoe to the
stern post. -BuU0i0 Express.
JUDGE" How comes it that you dared
break into the gentleman S house III the
dead of night?" Prisoner" Why,
Judge, the other time you reproached ME
for stealing in broad day. Am ! not to
be allowed To work at all ?
THE statisticiau Of the Rctailrr has
discovered that the money spcnt for TO
bacco in this country exceeds the amount
spent for bread; and one Of the tritIiug
paragraphs responds: "WelI, what otit.
A man can't always be chewing bread.
"BELN out Of town, Fritz" Vase,
took a run to Boston for a few days.
"0Iet anybody? Oh, yes; met the
Beans. Know them? Very nice family;
great friends of the Perks, OF Chicago.
believe their in partnership. Pork a
Beans. "Aw.'-Nc5r York CouUp-
ci0I.
" Will you please pass the milk Miss
Brown :" asked a young man OF iiderty
maid at the supper table. DO you
take me for waiter, SIR" shenswcred
"Well," he added, Gas no one has taken
you thus far, and you've waited So very
long, | should think you were one
-LO1ccU SIN.
"Do You see that spring over there:
said a settler in Arkansas to a stranger
"Well, that's an iron spring, that is
and it's SO mighty powerful that tA.
the water of il never have to be shoL
The shoes just grow on their feet nat
rally"
ELDER SISTER. What did the coob
say when you told her that the children
didn't ike the soup, Biddy? Biidy-
Sure, then, and what nd 1t be but her
snuff that dropped IN, and she thought
the childcr' nd blave it was pepper -
Finn.
A succession of direful shrieks is heard
on the first floor. Fond mother" What
IS the matter with Billy?" Colored
servant" Please, man, he is crying
about de jcWbcrries. - "Hc cant have
any more. He has had four saucer-tu
already" "Dem is de berry ones he l-
whoopin' about. He's all swollcd up.
a KIND physician living near Mount
Morris Pa, wishing to smooth tie las
hours OF poor woman whom he was at
tending, asked her il there was anythu-
that he could Go for her before size died
The poor soul, looking up, replied
doctor, [ have always thought | shoul,
like to have a butter-dish before ] died.
SHE was Boston lady Of culture
She stood watching a canal-boat LOADED
with ice as 1t was being locked into The
canal from Lake Chanplaine What
IS that boat loaded with?" she asked
''Ice, was the reply. ooh, my she
exclaimed in surprise; /" if the Lornd
stuff should melt, the water would slnh
the boat !"
"YEs, said fresh girl at show, 90
know my beau goes out between acts
bat he's nice and never drinks anything
but cup Of coffee, because / can always
smell it as plain as day, and | know the
smell OF coffee from beer or whisky II !
am a little bit green" 1t is a very happy
thing for a young man to have 81 gil
confidence -,NtcubelltiUc Hcraid
4 MAN passing along a road Jaw
countrvman Standing beneath pcrsiIi.-
mon tree, holding in his hands q pole
raised alolt :ith a little pig attac. ad 10
the end, which was fCasting up , li-s
persimmons IN tine tree. He '7htu.
"What are you doing thero?' ''5'i7teL
Sal is goin' ter get married. an Ia tat