The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-10-12
IT Is A FACT,
Acd the $4,000" 10 Prepared to
Prove II Conclusively,

That Doc Grsham's lizard H. dead.
Tina, Hancock will be elected pre-i-
dent.
That the Missouri Pacific shops will
come TO Sedalis.
That miss MoIlie Mason is in Kan.
sas City" Honest.
That Johnson county ha. . constable
who-e name is 6.
That Joe Pei,ier ls ro, the best look
ing man in the city.
That Charlie Parker'r mustache IL vis-
lille TO the naked eve.
That the numisr of paste diamonds
worn 10y tony young men IS immrnse.
Tina, Johnny Landes Wishes nature
had made him taller and les handsome.
That there has been more wind in In
disna ia the last month ;hsn Tice pre-
,iicted
That Aidermsn Hickman failed to
make Lis geese hill coGnert al the las
meeting VI the city dads.
THAI; several Young men are mad he
cause their charms were not mentioned in
the BsZoo bachelor column.
That not NOR. than a dozen men in
Sesialia know the name al the prohibition
ists' candidate for president.
That Geo. Gaibresih's aoiid girl in
Cincinnati had better keep an eve ON him.
He is beginning 10 grin on Sedaiia charm
erS.
This; Cephas has quit riding on his
huck- board, though he IL still addictei Ia
preaching and other questionable pleas
IIes.
That mosquito WAS arou,.i cn Obi"
stree, l.-, evening trying Ia borrow dime
10 get drink "f whi>key with 10 WARM up
his system.
That q great many Of our bsi,i-hea.iet,
pious pilgrims are saving up their nickels
for the Hihernian BLONDES legitimate en-
tertainmen,.
That Will f;ean's solid girl in Ken
tucky had better keep her wing over him.
He is exhibiting symptoms Of flirting with
Sedalia beauties.
That il preachers would throw the
same esrnestness into their sermons that
they do into their collections, they would
corral more sinners and coin.
That the country imperativsly de.
mand. new defense for murder. Emo
tional insanity, self-defense and drunk
eness are &c ting pretty thin.
That . resolution of reform msie in
summer il like the opinion of lawyer
given on the street, of preacher when in
danger or of IN editor when unfeed, not
liable 10 last long.
That lovers moonlight rambling hugs
are about &c he replaced BY the more sAti-.
factory one Of parlor squeezing. The former
being postponed for few months on &C.
count of the weather.
That Frank Shulfz hss been addicted
TO swinging on gates % long that, BY force
of habit, he lie compelled to have gate
abou, him all the time, and At present
wears a little gold one on his shirt bosom
-Thst a certain man residing in the
southern part Of the city has five beautiful
Daughters, every one of whom has hesu,
and all of whom we're hanging on their
front fence simultaneously last Sunday
night.
That a party of high-'oned young
ladies and gentlemen intend Ia 60 serenxd-
ing one night next week. Their music
will consist OF vocal and instrumental
solos, duets, triangles, qusrie;tes and cho-
ruses.
That a picnic party, consisting OF
abou, twenty women and children and one
man, came driving in from the west and up
one Of our principal streets, last Friday
night, singing a new sOng called "Home,
Sweet Home" The vocal organs sounded
very soul-stirring.
That that story is fal-e ahont the par
~ Of young ladies and gentlemen who
were out quitting in the timber near Soda
Iia, and that the young gents lay on the
ground playing "mumbie peg" while the
ladies assembled mp the trees and pnt up the
swings to he enjoyed BY thu entire party.
That the BAzoO msn ia ''onto" the
fiirtstions of certain married woman, who
il trying 10 make mash On a poor inoffen-
ave unmarried clerk, who could not, from
his present salary, whack up rs muc.,
money a. a Irritation acquaintance with
her would demand. She had better sgusn-
der her loving glances on men Of means,
like newspaper reporters or preachers.