The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-10-12

A Few that the DoSoo has Con.
struct0d Especially for this
Market.

Henry Clay Dean has pot on . clean
shirt.
Henry Ward Beeches has begas st lass
to preach the gospel Of the Lord Jesus
Christ, straight.
I Mr.. DR.. Mary Walker = beginning 70
wear cossets.
Married women have quit Aistiag With
gentleman friends outside Of The family
and settled down 70 enjoy the love Of he
. husband.
/ Designing msmmas have coassd figure
ing - to how heavy . capital sock The
young man vAo waits en- her dsushses
carries.
Tast young man in this city, Who aisa in
the best society, hes diseoousued wearing
corset.
Georsia in her state slsesios i rspub-
licsn.
Turkey il damaging the psscs Of Europe
and her dismembesmaos and divisioa
among the hungry national wolves Of En-.
rope is essential to the wosld's psscs.
magnificent armosy will b ssscssd q
once in this city for the Queen City 0uasds
and the SedAlis R.6.s.
Preachers have quit making PASTORAL
calls.
N,ckelesa drinking tramp psistess hsvs
refused to drink shss . sssssess offered
to set 'em up.
Churches are rapidly lifting The mort
gss~s from lhemselves.
Tue A,es still eoosinus 10 scsaps the
mui Cd their sides On the counters Of buei.
ne~ houses south Of the Mi4ouri Psei6c
railroad and cows ssill slsep o. he ssds-
walks in Sedalia Of night.
The mOsquisnss oov uss lsas o. then |
selves 1t night while boring their viesias.
on account OF excessively hos weather.
1lIinois.ns. while passios through MI |
souri, to K .nsas. do not start ss every ssiss |
~ it they thought some one ~ pussuiog |
them 9th cooked sssolven.
Cephas has quit pssschios.
Thoss young ladies 90 Seventh serses
have quit playing leap frog o. Sunday a.
tesnoons.
The ice man y happy.
The tramp Who 10 not nov shinniog |
around trying to make hi0aelf the pos
sea.or Of sn overcast il psovidsaa cuss.
The Republicans will give - hoasss |
count this fell.
Truth snd modsssy ass the 81. Julien's
and Maud s. Of The turf. Who disssses
the scrubs Of error and cheek il Tie ire
for ail race for the purss Of worldly cue
cess.
Nammas no longer run all ooeteaesd !
suisors foe their daughters hsnds out Of the
parlor.
Temperance lecturers srs starting nation
81 banks out Of their own funds.
Married women, Who hold heavy iosur.
ance policies on their husbands lives, and
give them 40 much tsay in public, sites
their husbands sudden and uosxplsinsble
death, hsve ceased blossonisg out in els-
CANT mourning suits, more expressive
equiPases than 10 absolutely nsessasy for
mourning purposes, and assuming . oellow.
ne.sof makeup and Of actioo that soos mar
ries them to fresh husband, and shsy 10
longer give the Insurance agent premium
on the second husband % soon q they
catch new Irritation
Young men hsve ceased trying 70 marry
ior money.
The hotel, boarding house and leaaise.
sgainst-street-lsmp-post aseouoodssioas,
during fair week 1t 81. Louis, were wy
cheap. only rivaling The szcsuciasiaely
cheap fare and elegant sccoumodssioas Of
Chicago during the Knights Tsnplss fen
dango in that city.
The dealers in eosl, wood and stoves sssl
unhappy q this season Of the ysss.
Trsmps are all going to work.
Defaulsins hank cashiers ass no losgse
Sunday school superintendenas.
Political o6Bce holders don't draw their
salaries % soon - due.
Edition. are getting rich.
Preachers are becoming vistuous.
L.wyers are gettisg . corner On con-
science.
Bankers are becoming liberal On loans
end discounts.
School teachers are broad ideed.
Soiled doves are always relisble.
A better quality Of whisksy il ssillsd now
than formerly.
The young men Of Anssics spesd more
money in d'aipssios than he young
women do on fashion.
Garfield vill BE- the nsxt psssidsas Of ths
United States.
All men ass hunanieasiaas.
All women are charitable.
All men ere honest.
All women are vistuouo.
All the shove seaeeDeoeD sso lie.