Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-08-27
A QUEER CRAZE.

"WAL, twas Gurus the way It hap
pened, and l amt got tired tellin' about
1t yet. 1t was swelterin' hot that day,
the sort of weather when folks would be
glad to take off their flesh and sit down
in their bones. There hadn't been a
drop of rain for four weeks, and every
thing looked thirsty. l went about in
the afternoon very sorrowful-like,
sprinklin' the flowers and thinkin' that
the time soon was q comm when some
one else would be watchin' 'em. Things
had been gettin' harder ever since
brother Reuben was lost on his last voy-
age, and hadn't been able to pay the
mortgage interest, and old Squire Jones
was gone, and every thing jim the hands
OF that wild son; and I'd got notice if
the money wasn't paid by the 30th of
June every thing would be seized. l
didn't rightly know how was goin' to
make a hvin' either. l was gittin'
elderly-nigh siXty-and when folks are
as old as that they're like cats, and don't
care about new homes So l sat down
very melancholy at the window, and
looked out at the little scrap of a garden
where I'd worked for years, and began
to think of the time when 1 was a slip of
girl and not so bad-loolziRg, and Pol
lOnious Sawyer used to come and see
me and bring me a momentum, as he
called it, from every voyage. Lor', the
house was just cluttered up with queer
old things that Rube and he brought,
that wouldn't bring sixpence at a van
doc. Poor PollOnius! He was wrecked
on strange coast, and no one knows
where his grave is. reckon he had a
present for me with him; but I'll never
get that one. All, me!
" was a settin' very retrospective
like when 1 see Miss Vanburen a-comin'
in the gate. No hot weather could
queneh that woman's ardor for Visitin'.
She had her sun-bonnet in her hand,
and couldn't stay a minute, of course.
But / knew her tricks and her manners,
and begun a-turnin' over in my mind
what l could give her. You see, I'd
been a savin' lately, and hadn't the us
ual supply in the house, but 1 wasn't
goin' to demean myself before Hetty
Vanburen. She's a mournful-lookin'
woman at the best of times, with hus-
band who drinks and throws plates at
her head, and six rollicking, roaring
children. Well, that's neither here nor
there. She comes in with her mouth
drawed down and her eyes turned up;
and 1 sez:
"'Wotever's happened to you, Mrs.
VanP' says 1.
"'Why, thought I must come over
and condole with you, she says, a-turn-
in over the word 'condole' with a sort
o. relish. He says as how he heard
down town that Life Jones was a-goin'
to sell you out, root and branch, and l
thought it was only neighborly to come
over and see if twas true. He don't get
things straight more'n half the time,
COS he "sees through glass darkly,"
as the minister says
al own | was took a-back on havin'
the affair published afore had time to
think it over, as you might say.
"'lt's real neighborly,' sez l, kind o.
bitter, 'to come over and take tea with
me once more; for you see yer oppor-
tunities in that line will be nipped in the
bud if it's all true.'
"'Then it is trueP'
"'Yes!' l sez, kind o. desperate;
very soon, s'pose, the place that
knows me so well will know me no
more;' and the tears come into my eyes.
'l'm q lone, lone woman, and where I'll
drift to don't know
"hTwouldn't bring much at a van
doo,' she says, lookin' round very keen
like.
"'No, 1 s'pose not; rubbish most of
it.
"'But you've got some good linen as
I'd like, she says, in manner L con-
sideTed unfeelin', 'and this ere arm.
cheers comfortable. I'm sort o. used
to this armcheer, and l wouldn't mind
biddin' it in at a private sale if you'd
wait bit for the money!
81 was sort o. disgusted at her sell
fishness-never seemin' to feel how
used l was to the armchair, or how it
hurt me to think of partin' with the
things.
"'It's q melancholy world, she says,
the next minute think, perhaps, that
she'd forgot about the condolin'. "A
pilgrims progress of male, and blessed
times wish l was out of it all when he
gets the tantrums and sends the plates
flying at my head. give you my word
we amt got whole plate in the house,
and we wouldn't have a thing to eat off
if it wasn't for that cement they call
stratena, as / mends 'em with continual.
anu dDuob--JOu WOulNlil u DbllbNb IL, MISS
Haddock; a-tellin' me to 90 tO-devilish
place, you know. Says I, you'd better
be wishin' me in heaven, says 1, coz I'd
be more out of your way
"'Every ones got their cross sez,
signing. 1--we got more'n my share
she sez, drawin' down the corners of
her mouth. 'Sararann Haddock, you
was wise woman never to tie yourself
to any male critter. Why it seems
more like heaven to git over here to a
little peace and quietness; and wotever
I'm goin' to do when you re gone-l'
"'I amt gone yet sez /, sort o.
snappish - cos couldn't bear her takin'
it for granted that there wasn't a chance
for me. We're such Gurus critters, YOU
see l kept clingin' TO the hope that
God was gOin' to work some miracle for
me. Now He did, and this is how it
came about. Iexcused myself to 90 and
put on the tea-kettle, and then found /
hadn't blessed thing for tea. 1 had
milk in the house, but nary an egg, and
what kin body do without eggs. only
had couple of hens, and they was a.
setting and steadily purposed to bring up
family. So, thinks l, I'll just throw
on a sun-bonnet and step over to Neigh
Dor Parker's and git some, and Miss Van
will never surmise the state of my larder.
LOr, i wouldn't a-had the neiphbors