The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1880-03-19
A. STORY OF LINCOLN.

J. S. Brisbin gives the following to the
Philadelphia Times
One day not long after Mr.. Lincoln is.
sued his Emancipation Proclamation, Mr.,
Wade came in, laughing all over his face
and said:
well, Old Abe has Just done the damn.
eldest thing you ever heard of. He has Civ
en- out he has the smallpox to keep the poll
iticans and office seekers away from the
White House"
The story ran thus: Mr.. Wade went to
the White House to see Mr.. Lincoln, who
had been ILL.,. lie found the President lit
tie pal-, but j,lly as he could be.
Sit down, Wade | am glad to see ysu.
Oh. have the funniest thing to tell you; IL
will make you laugh. | never did such a
thing before in my life, and never will
again. Then the President laughed until
the tears ran down his cheeks.
"Now, Wade." be said, "you are not to
repeat this outside, for it would give otiense,
and it by no manner of means comports
with the dignity which is supposed to hedge
a President about. The doctor put me up
to it to rid myselfof bore; | ought not to
have done it, but | couldn't help it, it was
so funny. You know have been i'll, and a
great many people have wondered what
allied me, but none of them could find out.
The truth is | was worried to death and
talked sick, pretty much by one man, the
most everlasting bore you ever saw who
wanted an Office. l knew he would come
again as soon as was able to sit up, and
the doctor put me to bed to get rid of him
by saying had the smallpox only got
out yesterday and sure enough, this morn
ing he called on me. | had determined to
be polite to him, but he stayed 50 long, the
humor seized me and determined to send
for the doctor. Giving him the wink, l held
out my hand and inquired:
doctor, what marks are those Oh my
hand?
"That's varioloij, or mild smallpox, u
said the doctor"
"Well," said l, "ts all over me. It's con.
tagious, is it not, doctor?'
VERY contagious, indeed" he replied,
'and you should see no one"
My visitor, who had been getting more
and more nervous every moment, now could
stand it no longer, and rising, said:
"'Well, Mr.. Lincoln, can't stop any
Longer. I just called to see how you were,
aud then lie started to hurry out.
"'Stop minute; want to talk to you
about that office.
"'Excuse me, Mr.. President, You are
not well this morning, and won't bother
you, said he showing toward the door,
Never mind, said /; don't be in hur-
ry. It's all right, and if you are going to
get the yarioloid you will get it now any
how; so you might as well sit down.
Thank you, sir, but III call again. he
replied, fairly turning lvid and executing a
mastery retreat from the fearful coutagion
with which he supposed me to be afflicted.
"Now, said Uncle Abe" it will be all
over the city in an hour that have small
pox, and you can contradict the story, but |
want you to promise that you wi not re-
peat what have just told you
Wade laughed until he was weak and
when he could get his breath sufficiently to
speak he looked at the clock as was his Gus.
tom, and said:
"Now for a little business and then | will
CO."
Don't CO." cried Uncle Abe, and lay ing
his head in his hands on the desk in front of
him, he laughed until he shook all over.
Presently raising up his face from betwee en-
his hands he wiped his eyes and blew his
nose until the report sounded like the wind
ing of horn. After another fit of laughter
he said:
"Wade, you should have seen him, and
how scared he was. III bet that fellow nev-
er comes back here while am President"
As might have been expected, hardly had
Mr.. Wade quilted the White House, when
he heard the President had the smallpox
and was very sick Wade promptly contra
dicted the story, but that night it was tele-
graphed all over the country, and many
people will yet remember the story of Mr.,
Lincoln's having the varioloid during the
war.
Commenting on the report, Uncle Abe
said to Wade: "Some people said they
could not take my proclamation very well,
but when get the smallpox, Wade, shall
then be happy to say l have something e.
erybody can take"