The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-05-12

But wants that little bad.
QUITE a number of young men are
gone on the new game of 10, but IL can
give her points and win every time.
A BOY of fourteen has married
woman aged sixty-eight, in Delaware.
He is never jealous of his wife.
A DAKOTA girl has married China
man. He had some difficulty in explain
ing the state of his heart, but de finally
got his cue.
A PITTsBURG man recently made two
unsuccessful attempts to hang himself.
He had probably been a sheriff in his
lifetime.
AN infant boy in Webster County,
KY, has six fingers on each hand.
Won't he be terror to bartenders
when he grows up?
WIFE (on the rivers bank y" Good
ness! the ice has broken up, and there
goes William Henry without one cent OF
insurance to cover his loss"
WASHINGTON never told lie, but if
the gem puzzle had existed in his day
we fear that he might have-have said:
ooh, I've done it, done it lots of times,
but 1 can't tell just how"
THIS is the nineteenth century, but
yet a st. Louis wife refused TO receive a
telegram from her husband in New
York, because it wasn't in his hand
writing.
JAMES" Yours received. 1t is
goes down the boys go out for a drop of
something, a custom handed down from
the days of Shakespeare.
AN exchange prints a touching little
episode on what a child's kiss could do.
The current belief in this matter is that
it could get mans mustache all mo-
lasses, and milk, and stuff.
THERE is sleep for the eye that is fearful,
A balm for the heart that is sad
And calm for the spirit that Is fearful
And for every liVer-a pad.
WHEN a mule has learned not to be
bashful, and to show his true nature in
the presence of an assembly, he is ad-
vertised by the circus folks as trick
mule.
BALD-HEADED persons are recon-
mended, by one who knows how it is
to have a spider painted on the
top Of their heads as preparation for
the fast approaching fy-time.-BufalO
E:GEress.
"WILL you also go to the masked
ballf" eyes, if 1 only knew how to
myself" "OhI that's easy
enough. All you have to do is to keep
your mouth shut for the whole evening,
and no one will recognize you"
DON'T be in hurry in this world. A
farmer had a boil. Some one
told him it was a cancer, and he was so
scared that he hung himself. The best
way is is go slow and poultice 'em.s
A DRUNKEN member of Parliament
said to the Attornay General, one day,
GO am self-made man, / am" ''Then, |
sir" replied the philosophical Attorney |
"the fact relieves the Almighty |
of great responsibility"
STATISTICS show that married men
live longer than single. This probably |
explains why some men marry three
weeks after the decease of their last |
wives. They are unwilling to risk a |
single life a longer period.
A DETROIT girl thrashed two street |
loafers who bothered her, and then |
went home and saw a mouse Jump up |
On top of q book case and tainted away. |
Street loafers in Detroit will hereafter |
carry mice in their pockets to trot out
for self-protection.
A YOUNG New Yorker was introduced |
to Boston girl, and before they were
thirty minutes she got so |
spOoney that she had called him an
a Silurian placoid and a
vertebrate. He returned |
to New York by the midnight train.
THE game of Sixteen" is PLAYED at |
The front gate with one foot on the bot |
som and both arms across the top, wb lie |
Ihe stands on the other side and winds |
bit of blue ribbon around her fore-finger
md heaps up little pile of gravel with
1ar foot