Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1880-04-01
FUNNY FAHCrEs.
Matters and Things for those who
| Love 90 Laugh.

1
MARTHA WAsHIHGTcE's CAT --Martl
Washington kept cat This Is OF
OF the interesting personal items no
geing the rounds Of the press. To Il
casual observer this statement doub
LEES appears trivial and unimportan
but let us examine IL. In the frs
place, we see that "Martha Washing
ton kept cat" Now, this might seer
to have no particular Significance, bu
stop moment. II was generally know
We believe, that q cat, of the Thoma
persuasion, II we mistake not, was al
most constantly seen about the Wash
ipgton homestead. No secret was mad
Of the matter whatever. The servant
knew the cat was there, and the visi
tors who called always noticed puss
No questions were asked, becaus
everybody knew the eat lived there
Very well, this fact having been es
tablished beyond a psradvsnture, tn
next question which naturally arise
is, "Who kept the cat ?" This is east
ly answered. or course, Martha KEEP
the cat but, II might be argued BY
some Of the gentlemen on the othel
side OF the house, that, iuasmueh al
George kept Martha, and Martha KEEP
q cat, George was in reality, and in the
eye Of the law the individual who puI
up for the maintenance of this worthy
representative Of the feline race. Yer
lily, this Is the very point we wish t.
make. The item which we have quo
ted is distinct and the positive asger-
tion is therein made that "Martha
Washington kept cat" Observe the
simplicity of the statement. There Is
no possibility Of mistaking it. II was
Martha, not George Washington that
kept cat. Mind, 1t was "a" cat that
Martha kept, the same as Il was 80"
little lamb that Mary had. Thus we
think we have eflec:ually disposed Of
this question, and from this time for
ward no man can stand up--or sit
down, as for that mat.er-place his
hand on his heart and truthtully say
that he thinks that George Washing
ton, the great, the good, the honorable,
the truth-tslling George Washington,
kept o cat. Remember always it
was Martha Washington, not George,
who kept puss..-''oil City Dsr-
rick"
FoSD op CANE" Are you fond Of
gamei" asked Bslinda's husband stick
Ing his fork into the canvass. back.
Mrs. Goodington did not answer for a
II was clear that the query
bad called up recollections Of the past.
Looking up, with smile perambula-
ling around the deep ruts old time had
worn in her kindly face, she said:
When Daniel was alive We used to
have good rubber Of whist now and
hen; but as for your new-fangled
James, such as eureka, cabbage and
physique, Pm too old to learn any Of
hem. But don't mind me, Theodore;
I the young folks want to play, let
hem. would be the last to interfere
Nth any of their harmless recrimina-
IONS"
TEg TINE FOR SPRING BoISPTs.-
What will :he spring bonnets be
ike :"
"You do us proud to ask 10, Clara.
'hey'll be pre,tiest yet invented, with
reat ruohes Of silk on top, cut en-
rain, 0chus on the side, and passe-
flowers, and water -colored
elvet and rufiss, rubber rings, and
sck roses, and gross grain elastic, and
hey'll be about foot and half high,
nd there'll b. lots Of other things on
hem, Clara. Oh /! they'll be sorump-
ious this season, and the sost-well
ear, about $50. This ia q good time
D begin to tell your husband ghost
tories about how You love him, etc.
A New Hampshire farmer went to
he seminary at West Lebanon with
NO little girls and inquired fer the
1Oasles. He said he wanted his chill.
rem to catch them now, before the
usy time of the year came on, when
hoy could not be so we'll taken care Of.
10 was told that they had no measles
n hand, and he went away disap-
ointed.
Farmer Jonecbury says his hens al
avs lay during winter. All he bias to
0 is to casually remark in their hear. 1
10 that eggs have dropped to ten cents
dozen: Then they all go to work with !
will.-"Boston Transcript" @
A place for everything, and every :
ling in Its place. A man at Yale nails /
is slippers on the wall four feet up, \
I'D then all he hag to do of an evening b
to whesi mp his easy chair in front 8
them and pull out his meerschaum. Il
."Amhurst Student" A
Juvenile Theology-Mother Cat the "
a table, "Jack, who helped you to :
ose three tartsf" Jack Gage ~ "The
,rd." Mother: "The Lord? Why what =
} you mean, Jscki" Jack: "Well, | 7
,lped myself, but iather said ysster- i
" that the Lord helps those who help q
emselves. p
Mark Twain, it Is reported, wants to
to Congress. Then why doesn't lie a.
2 He has money eneugh.-Hawkeye. a
JenDis Kearney may become street "
horter yGt.-"N. Y. Com. Adv."Yes; NJ
hn Bunyan did his, best work in Bed ia
d jail.
Notwithstanding the injunction on
chimes, st. Marks church Is the n
Jorite place for the ringing Of fashion, 1
10 bellies. L.
Golden hair, says q fashion item,"
COW less fashionable than ashy III
'nde." Young ladies who were horn Pl
tn golden hair will now see their
stake. But how is a child TO know,
fore it is born, what color of hair is
ing to bs fashionable when it reaches so
. age OF seventeen. -" Norristown oI