The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1880-06-03
Franks Of Telephones.


Franks Of Telephones.
There is no silver lining without a
cloud; no blessing without bother.
All great Inventions for the benefit or
improvement OF mankind are accompa-
MED by a train of disasters. With the
introduction of locomotives came rail-
way accidents, collisions. rack-jump-
ing, bridge and a host Of mi
nor casualties. Complicated machinery
for manufacturing purposes has been
swelling the death and accident list of
the country ever since its inception, and
the marvellous triumphs in agricultural
implements are fast providing for us
one-legged, onearmed, finger1ess, toe
less and otherwise mutilated yeomanry.
The use OF the telephone in San Fran
cisco has been attended by a series of
ludicrous, embarrassing and startling
complications. The hundreds of wires,
forming an aerial network above the
city, sometimes become strangely con-
fused and entangled, to the bewilder-
ment and amusement of the human be-
ings at their various termini
prominent educational official whose
office is on Sansome street, has been
somewhat troubled by the vagaries of
his telephone Wire, which has, during
the late stormy weather, acquired
strange faculty for hobnobbing with all
sorts of undesired and undesirable ac-
quaintances, or carrying a stream of
gossip to its owner ears.
''ls MIR. -, member of the School
Board, there?' slowly and deliberately
asks the owner. E.. .s.....'-
A muttered answer is construed into
a favorable response. 1' a. 81
"Do you know Miss s., a teacher
in the schools, recently thrown out BY
consolidation of classes? She has a
tirst-class certificate, and also a certifi-
cate of approval" a ta 4i.' E
Genuine high-stepper; brown coat?"
comes the singular query.
"She has a digniied gait, and now
you speak of it, think she wore a brown
cloak. But think your language-ex-
cuse me-somewhat inappropriate. She
was in here this morning, and I think
she deserves the first vacancy"
"She'l beat them all and no mis-
take" ~ af5lfla 80
q think you are. wrong She GER
tainly has a reputation for good disei-
pline, but hardly think she would re-
sort to corporal punishment except in a
case of extreme necessity
: "And. by the way, Blikins, those
races at Sacramento next, week.
comes more distinctly to the ears of the
bewildered gentleman, who begins to
suspect that he has been interrupting a
conversation between two gentlemen of
jockeyish proclivities.
A signal reaches the office of a we'll
known physician.
: "My DEAR" comes musical voice
over the wire, which he at once recog-
nizes as belonging to his wife, ssmeet
me at the Oakland boat at twelve
O'Clock. We must be on the other side
at quarter to one, without fail" The
doctor was just starting out for an inn
portant round of visits, but this per-
emptory summons was not to be disre-
garded. There was little time to spare.
Giving some hasty directions to his as
sistant he spun away to the ferry. The
lady he sought did not make her ap-
pearance. When the whistle had sound
ed and the boat slowly receded with
the last passenger on board, sudden,
jealous suspicion seized him. Could it
be possible that his wife had intended
the message for some other man, that
they had eluded his observation In a
tumult of dread-he drove speedily home.
1t she were gone then there would be
some foundation for his suspicious. He
burst into the house and fastened to
his wife's room. A grieved and anxious
face met him ON the threshold.
go, my dear, / am so glad you have
come. Baby is having such terrible
time with that eye-tooth He has been
screaming the whole forenoon
Didn't you speak to me through
the telephoneP''
L? No; baby has not been out of my
arms since you left. O, dear, perhaps
it was some one of your lady friends
whom you mistook for me-"
The arch, laughing glance which she
gave him, with. smile of wifely trust,
pierced his heart like dagger. He
buried the secret of his own suspicious
in his guilty breast, and drowned his
remorse in alternating the sufferings of
his little son.
The telephone itself is not at fault 1t
is man who is fallible, rash, thoughtless,
disposed to speak without consideration,
and jump at conclusions. The educat-
ing influence of telephone practice in