Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-02-19
Sips Of Fun.
Held for a further hearing
The ear trumpet.

ePeheu pdshiP, anu got DceC.
o 1t usually takes twenty able.
\ bodied men to stand and look
o at one poor little sign-painteI
while he is at work.
The kind wife who has a smile
for her husband when he comes
e into the house will not drive
!: him to saloon to get one.
The poet who sang: "I'm
! sailing DER the brine knee deep"
|. was evidently timid man, and
! afraid to venture far from the
shore.
1t is said that the Bureau of
Engraving has not a single ten
, dollar bill in it's reserve stock.
; Singular coincidence. Neither
!. have we.
i The difference between a man
who digs in the ground and one
who digs in books is that the
former digs for hire and the lat
ter for lore.
| A mother advised her daugh-
ter to oil her hair, and tainted
flat away when the damsel re-
piled, "Oh no, ma, it spoils the
Igentlemen's vests"
It has been demonstrated in
Paris that when a man pounds
his thumb with hammer he is
twice as mad as when he strikes
his elbow on the door frame.
The greatest compliment you
can pay a man, says the Free
Press, Is to call him "an ad-
vanced thinker" 1t beats the
title of general" all out of sight.
A letter was recently dropped
into the mail-box directed to
"Louis Cancers. The post
master guessed it was for Law
renee, Kansas, and it went right.
A Chicago man had wo-
mans tooth grated into has jaw,
and now every time he passes Il
millinery store that tooth fairly
aches to drag him up to the
window.
Young men, if your girl keeps
looking at your feet every time
she meets you, don't let it en-
baTass you in the least; she is
simply taking your measure for
a pair of slippers.
The hardest man to listen to
is the man who insists on talk
ing about the moral law to you
for two hours at a time, but who
never gave a single illustration
of it in his own life.
Father (who is always trying
to teach his son how TO act while
at table)--"Well, John, You see
that when / have finished eating
l always leave the table," John
Eyes, sir, and that is about
all you do leave"
A farmer writes: "I saw in a
paper that q Western farmer
planted flax with potatoes, and
it kept the bugs of. l planted
fax with potatoes and the flax
came up first and the bugs roost-
ed on it, waiting for the potatoes
to come up"
A correspondent in the coun-
try asks if somebody will tell
him how best 10 start a flock Of
sheep. We have done very lit
tie in that line, but will suggest
that letting down the bars gen.
orally has the desired effect.
"He has gone into the lecture
business" said one man to an
other in response to an inqui-
ry about a mutual friend. "Is
that SOP" "Yes; he was mar
ried last week TO % woman with
the sharpest tongue in town."
One Of our Boston preachers
said Sunday afternoon: "The lit
tie good any of us can do must
be done with our hearts thump-
ing against the hearts of our fell
low man." And every young
woman in church looked at ev-
cry other young woman and
smiled approvingly. {
"Does he know anything?"
anxiously inquired a friend, ben
ding over the body Of the man
who had just fallen from the
roof of a house. "Don't know,
Pm sure" the physician replied.
ale never did know anything;
but you can't tell what effect the
fall may have had upon him nm
til he regains consciousness"
A paterfamilias was helping
his ten-year-old son to master
his Sunday-school lesson. That
lesson happened TO be devoted
to the parable Of the Sower. In
the course of his instruction the
father asked his son the mean
ing of the word stare" and the
son replied, 81 don't know ex-
actly, but mother can tell me
all about it." "Why your moth
er, my son?" "Well, she must
know, for a few days ago. when
YOU didn't come home for two or