The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1880-02-13

vile church, however, made the usual
demands upon her, and I should no
doubt have been compelled to leave
Griggsville long ere this if sheAad not
caught timely cold by going out in
furious snow-storm to attend a meeting
to promote the spread of the gospel in
Abyssinia. That cold resulted in a
three months siege of rheumatism which
has proved in its way blessing; for the
parish no longer expects her to attend
every meeting, and the ladies content
themselves by petting me as much as
possible and saying spitefully, "What
a power dear MIR. Buttles would be if
he had a wife worthy of him.
When I bought my first COW, Deacon
Bulge took me all over the country to
look at beasts, white, red, black and
brindle, short.horned, and muley, and
as we we're riding home, the Deacon
after long period of silence, said alb
ruptly, "Mr. Buttles, hev ye any idee,
now, what sort of critter sUould
suit YEP"
There are eleven churches in Griggs-
vile, ten of which are Protestant, so I
have had considerable opportunity to
observe parsons wives, and have never
seen, as yet, one who quite pleases her
husbands parish. One lady dresses too
much, one does not dress enough. One
is too domestic, one is too officious in
church work. One never speaks in
meeting, one talks to the exclusion of
some of the sisters who are gifted in ex-
hortation. There is always a fly in the
ointment. When hear the criticisms
made upon these worthy ladies, whose
only sin is that they are parsons wives,
1 am sometimes tempted to ask critics,
as Deacon Bulge did me when I could
not find cow to my mind, Hev ye
any idee what sort of a critter would
suit ye?''
AS the parish will not let the parsons
wife alone, nor allow her the same free
dom in the pursuit of liberty and hap
piness it permits to other women, I
think each sect ought to establish train
ing-schools where young women who
contemplate marrying parsons can be
educated to please the parish. Unpre-
possessing female orphans could be
utilized to advantage by such institu-
tons, and spinsters so inclined could be
worked off as third and fourth wives to
widowers of the cloth. Minister'S
wives who don't suit could be sent to
one of these schools for few months,
and return to be the delight of their
husbands flocks.
The single minister, instead of run
ming the gauntlet he now does, and also
mourning the dreadful risk of marrying
a worldly young miss, could quietly
look over the department roll of the
training-school of his sect, visit the
chapel at morning prayer and make his
selection, confident that his wife is war
ranted to suit.
Of all the plans that have occurred to
me this appears most feasible. The
cost of these schools would be inconsid-
cradle, for the faculties could be made
up of deacons, old ladies and spinsters,
who would so delight in their work that
salary would be to them of secondary
consideration. Each church could have
a society to raise funds for the necessary
expenses, and at least three ladies could
hold Office. The supply ofyoung wom-
en- trained could be carefully regulated
by the demand, and the peculiar tastes
of certain churches could be suited by
the special and individual training of
select students.
This plan l offer especially to the
consideration of my brethren in the
ministry, feeling certain that were it
carried out it would relieve them of
much worry and their wives of much
hard work, and that through its means
alone will be found that rare bird, that
Phoenix among woman, the parsons
wife who pleases the parish. Christian
Union.
THE Toxic Times thus describes a
December festival on the grounds of the
EmnerOr's palace. UManv ladies' were