The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
WAIFs AND WHIMs,

snOeS.
BEES carry pollen dust on their leg
That Is how dust the busy bee.
A MAN who wears ten-cent piece O
Z his shirt front calls it his dime and pir
| HOPE springs eternal in the huma
breast. But he who sits on tao
springs best.
SOME women were evidently 'eborn t
: blush unseen"-at least they are neve
seen to blush.
A MEDICAL student declares that tn
sudden death of Little Eva was caIcU
lated to awe Topsey.
THERE is nothing in the four quarter
of the globe more unreliable than tn
headquarters of a mule.
SAMsoN's strength depended on hi
hair; but a woman's strength depend,
upon the strength Of her hair-pins.
/ A PATENT medicine mans conveyaneC
ran away yesterday, and you should have
seen the way the drug down the
street.
"TREAT woman Ikea splendid flower.
says Bob Ingersol. so 1 do. I have
planted mine, says a widower who hal
buried three wives.
A LITTLE boy being told by his mother
to take powder she had prepared fol
/ him, ""Powder, powder" said he,
mother, amt a gun"
! A DANBURY officer always looks on the
bright side of things. He saws. were il
not for the episode in the Garden of Eden
he would not be policeman. .-Dan6aGr.y
NetOs
'IF Jones undertakes to pull my ears, 4"
cold q IO111 To0rv,4boI Fo11or, r%r oo4
corner, he will have his hands full. F."
The crowd looked at the mans ears and
smiled
YES, it's Johns grave, ;" murmrued
the disconsolate widow, "and he was a
good man; and it did seem a wicked
waste of money to put so good a casket
under all that damp earth.
A Troy gentleman who married a
widow, complained to her that he liked
his beef well done. "Ah, I thought I
was cooking for Mr.. Brown" said she,
''but, darling, l will try and forget the
poor dear"
A SEXTON reported that q corpse ex-
humed in a graveyard was petrifed and
many persons went to see the body.
Their curiosity was soon satisfied. The
sexton had inadvertently put an ''e'' in
stead of Gu after the ''p" In ''petri-
fed"
JUST before visiting the menagerie,
Johnnie had a passage-at-arns with the
young aunt who assisted at his toilet,
and with whom he flew into a rage Ar
rived at the menagerie, Johnnie was i'm
mensely interested by q strange foreign
animal with long 1.-the body. "What
animal is that, mammal" he asked. cit
is called an ant eater, my son. After
long silence Mamma, can't we bring
Aunt Mary here some day?"
''Is YOUR programme full, Miss Beetle
crusher?" asked a young man of a West
eru damsel who had just struggled out
of the refreshment room with disap-
pointment in her eye and an "order of
dances" in her hand Programme full?'
said the daughter of the setting sun,
''Wail, [ guess mott I hain't had nothin'
but piece O cake and an ice cream, an
that don't go fur towards film my pro-
gramme, / can tell you"
81 WISH I was a edytur
I'd in my sanktUm stand
An wear upon my countynance
A smile jist orful bland,
An when the candydate cum in
To try to taffy me,
I'd exercise modesty,
To any CRATE degree;
I'd tell him rite into his teeth,
That our inhOosnce alters
Is lent 10 the aspirin man
That has the shinin' $S$$
An if he plunged up the dust
Forthwith my sheet d praise him,
But il he didn't cum to time,
Crate Mosesl how I'd raise mi"
Modern Arg0
SHE Whispering )-"Hush! Take it,
darling! Your heart will teach you to
find out it's use. He-s'Kind, thought
full girl! Any daintyis welcome in camp,
and"-. She-''Not a word, papa is
waking Goodbye" And he was gone.
And when he found she had given him
cat in the basket he waxed wroth, for,
alas! his heart did not teach him that
when in camp he should hide billet un-
der his collar and let it loose, whereupon
Tom would make his way straight back
to his mistress.
WE will certainly be called on to record
the sudden and violent death of that fell
low Gilhooly. Yesterday he stopped in
front of fruit stand on Galveston ave-
nue. and picked out several peaches,
squeezed them until the stufing came
out of them, trying to find out if they
were ripe, and then he put them back,
'Look here, I can't sell them peaches
after you have squeezed them. ''Yau
didn't sell 'em before I squeezed 'em did
you?" ''Eo, but" "Well, if you don't
sell 'em after I've squeezed EN-, you amt
any worse. of than you were before. You
must learn to reason, man, before you
talk.-G GaIVest01l NesO&