The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-09-09
Qartetu.
VARIETY SCRAPS,

Wnere w 20 Wnen snort OF money to work
In the furbearing animal beauty is but skin
deep.
One touch Of humor makes the whole world
grin.
One of the rules that doesn t work both ways ia
the unit rule.
Cheating never prospers, except perhaps. in
trading horses.
1t is believed that the word "never" has been
crippled for life.
God help the man who has outgrown the relish
for hearty laugh,
The most fatal grapeshot comes from the bot.
tie.
Thirteen at table is unlucky when there Is din.
ner enough for only ten.
The man who fell into barrel Of whisky said
he was depressed in spirit"
A hen doesn't mingle In promIscuous society;
she has her own exclusive set,
II takes live man to pull up stream, altough a
dead one can drift down.
Temperance reformers should turn their atten.
tion to money-it is always tight.
Utah wedding paragraph says, "The bride was
logged out in white gauze"
A bad Philadelphia boy made his mothers hair
raise the other day. He stole her switch for kite
bobs.
Chinaman thinking the census enumerator
was an army agent, gave his age 100 years oldee
ale timee"
A nitv woman yUilI ninL I'm a oIotho, ,,ro,, ..,,.
teen feet long to drive two ounce chicken out of
the yard.
We all understand the business OF our neigh.
bors, says the Whitehall Times better than we
can our own.
IL widow and widower were being united In
matrimony, what process would they be under.
goingH Repairing.
The poor woman who thought she could make
cotton dress wear as long as a wooden one was
worsted In the attempt.
Settle promptly with ug and we will settle with
somebody else" is the legend on the bill head Of
a prominent business firm.
st. Louis paper says that the Chicago type Of
a girl has nonpareil head on BREWER body and
q long primer foot.
When man offers nice present to his wife to
induce her to prepare dinner for friend is it not
an extra-dish on treaty2
Bismark is entitled to wear four hundred and
sixty'six cecora i0Es, When he is dressed for
ceremony he looks like 5peckled hen.
The chairmen otboth national COMMITTEES being
Connecticut men there ought to be bar'ls of
wooden nutmegs around this campaign.
A. D. 1900 Scene before cremation underta,
Eer's shop: Small boy-"I say, sir is dad done
YETI II he is please put his ashes in this ere tin
Ike tle."
When reform spelling becomes universal, dime
novel heroes can write II KUN Nv prowd an
hotty race" without giving himself dead away as
regards his early education.
An Illinois chap in describing Western lorna.
do. says: "a white dog while attempting to
weather the gale, was caught with his mouth open
and turned completely inside out.
One reason why LeadVllle has no schools is be.
cause all the school ma'ams who 60 there find
husbands between the station and the hotels,
and don't care cent whether school keeps or
not.
Johnny lost his kife. After searching in one
pocket and another until he had been through
all, without success he exclaimed, "Oh, dear; |
wish had another pocket; it might be in thai
one"
"Do, do keep away from that window" said he
But Pm not afraid Of lightning" she replied
"Ah dear, little do you realize how attractive you
are" And, having made this appeal he was able
to conduct er away,