The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1880-04-23
HERE AND THERE.


Why is Zulu belle like a prophet OF
old. Because she has moi much on Ter
in her own country.
Tom Sayers would fight anybody or
ANYTHING at moments notice, and yet |
he had TO he coaxed for two weeks TO
have tooth pulled.
BY very obvious deduction, the old
adage which proclaims that the boy IS
father to the man, makes Ben Hill the
grandson of Miss Jessie Raymond.
A Michigan woman cured a setting
hen by placing red-hot glass egg in the
nest. Hens know when not to set as well
as the man who gets up off a tack
Louisiana duels cost more than they
used to. Parties go further to fight. and
order grandcr dinners than they did
when the idea was to kill somebody.
Nothing so aggravates New Yorker
us to have chambermaid fiirt with him
from u sixih-story window of hotel
which he dare not enter because Of an
old board bill.
When a gco1 looking Indiana girl has
the measles it always follows that from
seven 10 fifteen of the young men OF the
neighbcrhood are soon taken down with
the same disease.
| Love never enters into Chinese stories.
The hero is always a chap who made his
ducats in America by laundry work, and
the heroine is girl who wants revenge
ON him because he killed her cat
MIR. Beecher says that on the days
when his liver is out of order, the king
dom of heaven is out of order, too. There
may be mere egolistical blasphemy
than this, but we never heard of il.
The greatest trouble about the fox
hunting clubs IN New York is, first, TO
find fox which won't run into some
grocery store, and. second, to convince
farmers that ride over wheat field
helps the crop.
Joseph Cook calls Niagara "daieless
roar" He has not yet invented term
to apply to the Niagara hackmen, whose
roar Is of more recent date. Nothing
less than a six.syllabled word with sharp
; corners and jagged edges will do them
justice.
The extensive employment of lead in
the adulteration of sugar, is probably
the reason why so large proportion Of
the men who are addicted to its use il
connection with very popular beverage
get shot in the neck with such alarming
frequency.
A Michigan man named Maginley hai
lost his parrot, and is almost crazy abou
it, Not that he cared SO much about tn
bird, but it had got in the habit of say
ing, "Old Maginley's drunk again,
from hearing his mistress say it, and he
afraid somebody'll find the bird.
A cable dispatch announces the dealt
in England, of DIR. Kenealy, who, a
: counsel for the Tichborne claimant VOL
l a world wide reputation Now, if tn
v great and original political claimant
Gramercy Park would only pass in hi
n checks how happy the grateful Democr'
e CIV would be!
il \ scientific note says that in cases c
It asphyxia or suspended animation, Iii
should not be given up too quick.
~ But of course, this general advice is
!, be largely modified by the size Of til
= policy upon the life of the patient, an
!, other considerations in which his legatet
If may be interested.
Competent medical authorities asse
"A that tobacco exerts peculiar InfiuenC
IS upon women and children, causing an
;; regular action of the heart, which is nc
\ ably perceptible in the former. Tn
,r will probably account for the proninel
tiiritatious tendencies of old widow
who are addicted to clay pipes