davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

He WAITED SOME EAssURANCE.-"Yes,
said my clerical friend, as he helped him.
self to another cigar and adjusted his foot
stool more comfortably, 81 could give you
even better instance than John Stuart
Mill of the confusion produced in peoples
minds by the conflict of soaring faith and
down-pulling rationalism. There was the
late Bishop Strahan, of Toronto; now, as
firm believer as ever endured cruciixion
and as level-headed Scotchman as ever
ate oatmeal. One hct Sunday in August,
during the continuance of a long drought,
the clergyman of the church where he
was officiating, requested him to use the
prayer for rain, which you will find in the
English prayer-book. The Bishop prom
ised to do so, but did not. On being re-
minded of his forgetfulness after the SER
vice, 'Hoot, monpsaid he, with contempt
uous snort, glancing at the dark blue sky
and blazing sun above him, 'Hoot mon,
wha' should 1 ha' used the prayer for rain?
There were no indications."- Yale Cour-
nnf
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09
Bad Americans in Paris.

The American colony here is giving
fresh examples, every day, of the cor
ruption of good manners by evil COM
munications. At least, such must be the
cause of the wickedness of which it is SO
often guilty, and which, Mrs. Lucy
Hamilton Hooper is disposed to main
tain, ought only to be found among
benighted foreigners. In my last letter,
I told of the elopement of an American
girl with Brazilian, and now have to
record not only another American elope-
ment, mixed up with a charge of stolen
property, on whose proceeds 'Lovelace, y
a gentleman from the Sunny South,
managed to pay domestic expenses, but
also the dreadful fall from grace of a
prominent dentist, also known as burn
ing and shining light in the Gallican
Church of the Follies Montholon, pro-
vided over by ex-Father Hayacinthe. OF
the first two affairs, should say nothing
except that all sympathy is with the be-
reaved parents; but when Mr.. Crane,
who not only pulls out and plugs up
teeth, but also plays the organ for the
Folies Montholon worshipers. got him.
self condemned to three months impris-
onment and 5000 francs fine for an out
rage upon decency, committed on the
Champs Elysees, there can be no doubt
left about his criminality. The details
of this monstrous charge are, like those
of M. DeGerminy, two years or SO ago,
unfit for publication, and are so filthy,
are accompanied by such terrible reve-
lations concerning the home life of cer-
tain people, hitherto held up as models
of every Christian virtue, that the
tribunal disposed of the case with closed
doors. Perhaps, as have said, all this
naughtiness is attributable to foreign
infection, to the decentralization produced
by bad foreign example, and I should be
most glad to admit this theory, if it did
not happen that, at least in the case of
the dentist, the surroundings and asso-
Citations of the culprit are strictly con-
fined to that class of exotics which it's
fair partisan considers to be alone with
out reproach. There is an immense
amount of crime in Paris, there are mis-
demeanors without number, but if the
statistics of both were accurately COM
piled and attentively examined, we
should find that, in proportion to their
number the French population of Paris
are good deal in arrears to its American
element during the last 20 years. This,
I think, will do on this subject, and,
with the remark that people who live in
glass houses should be careful about
throwing stones, I can pass on to some
other and less nauseating subject. 7.
Times.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09
Mrs. Paradox's mother questioned her

Mrs. Paradox's mother questioned her
child.
''Oh, mamma, long ago!" declared
poor little Abby Jane, with streaming
eyes.
So the papers were signed, and Mr..
and Mrs. Paradox separated in good
earnest.
Abby Jane went back to the maternal
home and Mr.. Paradox took up his quar-
ters in hotel until he could arrange for
his final departure to the Dominion of
Canada.
But the night before he was to sail for
Nova Scotia the waiter came up to his
room and announced, "a lady"
SITS my mother" thought Mr.. Para
dox, who was sitting staring into the red
die that he was trying to read.
But it was not his mother. It was his
wife!
cts only me, Louis" said Abby Jane.
trembling all over. ."I-I wanted to
speak just word or two before you
went a Iay-foreverp
"Are you not satisfied with the allow
ance?" said Mr.. Paradox, gloomily.
ooh, quite; it's more than generousp
said Abby Jane, hurriedly. "Only
Louis-I couldn't help telling you one
or two things before we part. I was
wrong about Rover. He was noble
dog. should have let him stay, only
only I was little out of temper that
day. And-Ive asked your mothers
pardon for refusing to let her live with
us. think, now, that she would have
been a great help and comfort to me
And think, Louis, that I should feel
better if You would say You forgave me
for scolding SO much about your cigars!
And"
"Stopw said Mr.. Paradox. ''It isn't
right, Abby Jane, that all the apologies
should be on your side. I've been
wrong myself p
little wife, bursting into food of tears.
Eyes, I was-about your Aunt Anas-
tasia," declared Paradox.
'sShe was dreadfully trying old crea-
ture, owned Abby Jane, ''and I knew it
1.-The time"
''But I should have treated her civil
ly," persisted Mr.. Paradox. ''And I
shall always regret, Abby Jane, that I
did not give you that season at Saratoga. y
"Dear Louis, don't talk SO! All I ask
of you is to forget and forgive my hor-
rid temper" besought Mrs. Paradox.
IF there is any forgiveness" said the
husband, with softening eyes, cit is I
that need it. I have acted like fool,
Abby Jane
Abby Jane"
1--WE have both been foolish, Louis, +"
timidly suggested the wife.
''But because we have both been idiots
it don't follow that we need to be for the
future" said Mr.. Paradox, holding out
both his hands. "Abby Jane, shall go
to Nova Scotia or shall I stay? Speak
quickly; it is for you to decide
'.Stay," whispered Mrs. Paradox"
He folded her close to his breast.
'Little wife," he said, ''let us go down
to old Parchment's Office and tear up
those papers of separation.
ST don't care how soon you do it, said
Mrs. Paradox, laughing and crying in
the same breath.
"And then?"
'tAnd then" said Mrs. Paradox, twist
ing the second button of her husbands
coat around and around, ''well begin
life over again-on an altogether new
platforml"
And that was the end of the legal sepa-
ration! OF course, there was general
gust of gossip about it /; people said that
'it was very strange that the Paradoxes
didn't know their own minds"
But Mr.. and Mrs. Paradox were suited.
and after all that was the main thing
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09
THAT "cussED pUzzLE.n

In the morn he brightly rose.
Clear of mind and strong OF limb,
Found beside his pillow laid
A box some enemy had sent him.
Opened he the present then,
raw what he had never seen;
Blocks therein and mum bered all,
One to fifteen all between.
Waiteth not to eat or drink;
Wsiteth not to sleep or think;
Quickly graspeth he the box:
Movefh here and there the blocks.
Easy moves from one to seven;
All In place from one to 'levep.
Then reversed the figures and,
Thirteen, fifteen, fourteen. and
Twelve is also out of place.
Wearily lie wipes his face,
Rubs his head and rubs his nose;
He can do IL, well he knows.
Hours fly, and still the moves
Backward, forward, nothing proves.
Fifteen, fourteen, nine and ten,
Still no nearer to the end.
Twelve and thirteen, eight and seven,
Then he gets mixed up on elegen,
Night is come and day has gone,
And still the labor Is not done.
Morning, with its smiling face,
Finds him in the self-same place;
Hsggard looks and vacant stare,
Fastened on the puzzle there;
Nothing moves him from The spot,
He's a gibbering idiot.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09
"Playing 'MOng de Psalms."

A well-known Georgian, while travel
iEg in Liberty county recently. met q
lame negro preacher in the road and
stopped him for little talk.
''Butler," said the gentleman, "I see
you have your Bible in your hand. Dc
you preach to-day?"
'tYesser."
''Well, what is your text ?"
"Well, sab, amt tuck no tex es yit. >
ssWhat! no text? Don't you prepare
your sermons %
''No, sab; not 'zactly.'
"Why, Butler, I have never known a
preacher to deliver sermon without
writing or thinking it over
''Dat's wrong, sab. Dat amt cortin
ter de Scripter. De Bible say open
your mouf en- I will fill um.'
But, then, there are some mighty big
mouths
''Yesser, dat's so-dat's so, sho'.
s'Well. you haven't prepared any SER
mon, and you haven't taken any text.
What de you intend to do to-day? ?"
''Well, sab, I jes specks terday fer ter
play round 'mong de Psalms. .''-Atlanta
Constitution.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

The other day some one took preco-
cious small boy and asked him if he was
"papa's boy" He answered, Eyes. !"
sAre you mammals boy?" Yes, !"
answered Charlie. Well, how can you
be papa's boy and mamma boy both at
the same time?" was asked him. ooh, !"
replied the little fellow, indifferently,
cant asNagon have tive horses?"
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

AAH TO $4,000 A YEAR, or So to 500 day
Il in your own locality. No risk Wo-
eN II men do as well as men. Many make
~&V more than the amount stated above.
No one can fail to make money fast. Any one
can do the work You can make from Scots TO
50 an hour by devoting your evenings and spare
time to the business. It costs nothing to try the
business Nothing like it for money making
ever offered before Business pleasant and strict.
ly honorable Reader, if you want to know all
about the best paying business before the public,
send us your address and we will send you full
particulars and private terms free; samples worth
SIS also free: yon can then make up your mind
for yourself Address GEORGE STINS0N 4
CO., Portland, Maine l6:aIyl
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

CURED
From q Mereh ant.

DAYTON, w. T., Feb. 10, 1879.
W. j. Horne, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co., 702 Market street, San Francisco-Sir:
The Truss purchased of you about ono year ago
has proved a miracle to me. | have been ruptur-
ed forty years, and worn dozens Of different kinds
of Trusses, all of which have ruined my health,
as they were injurious to my back and spine.
Your valuable Truss is easy as an old shoe, and
is worth hundreds of dollars to me, as it affords
me so much pleasure. 1 can and do advise all,
both ladies and gentlemen, afflicted, to buy and
wear your modern improved Elastic Truss imme-
satisfied and happy with the comfort it gives me
to wear it 1t was the best $40 ever invested in
my life. You can refer any one to me, and
will be glad to answer any letters its merits.
remain, yours respectfully,
d RuNNFII
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09
A "Reminiscences of General Scott.

One evening during the early days of
our "late unpleasantness" there was to
be an exhibition of Grammar School No.
A in New York City. I arrived late at
the school building and found several
distinguished-loo visitors on the
platform of the hall. Among them there
was one whom at once recognized by
the portraits had seen IF hint was
Major General Scott, the hero of the
Mexican war. He was in full regimen
tails, and sat in an armchair little to
the right of the center of the stage-a
very grand. large man, with snowy hair
and whiskers. He gave the most Hatter-
ing, the most rapt attention to the read
ing of every composition, to all the sing
ing, declamation-every exhibition of
skill, however perfectly or imperfectly
done. The presence of so distinguished
a visitor stimulated some to do their best,
while it scared others into doing their
very worst. It was on the whole, how
ever, brilliant success.
After the exercises the President of our
local board of school officers approached
the Generals chair and said something to
him. We knew he was asked to make q
''few remarks, /" and wondered if he would
consent. To our great delight there were
commenced to rise. One of the school
officers approaching his chair on the op-
posite side offered to assist him. He de-
clined assistance, but when the gentle.
man persisted and made an attempt to
take hold of his arm, General Scott i'm
patiently and imperatively put him aside
Those near the platform heard him say,
81 need no assistance-no assistance
only give me little time" The process
of getting Strengthened up on the part of
the General was very slow, but not q
jerky or trembling one, and suggested
rather a rheumatic infrmity than the
stiffness of age, though he must have
been over seventy. How immensely tall
he seemed as he stretched his majestic
figure higher and higher until he tower
ed half foot or more above the men
around him. Then he was introduced to
the children, and the tumultuous ap-
plause of hundreds of small hands greet
ed him from every part of the immense
hall. The applause continued until the
principal touched the bell. The General
waited until the silence was perfect and
then he said in a clear, ringing voice.
youths and maidens," and for over a
half hour he held forth in majestic SIM
plicity of style never to be forgotten by
any boy or girl who heard him, though
there was nothing very remarkable or
very original about anything he said. He
praised and encouraged the pupils and
aroused them to new effort He COM
pared their educational advantages to
those of other lands and with those of
this country fifty years ago. It was, in
short, the prince of what children call
"goodly speeches. ."-Neac York G7aphic.
The daughter of Spotted Tail, tall,
ungainly young woman of eighteen, is
studying in the Government School for
Indians at Carlisle Barracks. Penn. She
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

When once you have decided to fatten
an animal for beef let the process be as
quick as possible. Any stint in feeding
at such times will tend to make the meat
tough and dry. SIall-fed animals will
fatten more rapidly than others, and
younger animals require richer food than
older ones. In winter fattening do not
forget that much depends on the warmth
of the stable. The warmer the cattle are
kept the less food will be needed.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09
Latest Medical Endorsements.

MARTINEZ, CAL, Feb II, 1879.
W. j. Herne, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss Co., 7U2eMarket street, s. F.-Sir: In re-
gard to your California Elastic Truss, would say
that have carefully studied its mechanism, ap-
piled it in practice, and do not hesitate to say
that for all purposes for which Trusses are worn
It is the best Truss ever offered to the public
Yours truly, J. H. CARoTHERs, M D.
Endorsed by q prominent Medical In.
stiute.
SAN FRANCISCO, March 6, 1879.
W. j. Horne, Esq.-Sr: You ask my opinion
of the relative merits of your Patent Elastic
Truss, as compared with other kinds that have
been tested under my observation, and in reply I
frankly state that from the time my attention
was first called to their simple, though highly
mechanical and philosophical construction, to-
gether with easy adjustibility to persons of all
ages, forms or sizes. l add this further testimony
with special pleasure, that the several persons
who have applied to me for aid in their special
cases of rupture, and whom have advised to ouse
yours, all acknowledge their entire satisfaction,
and consider themselves highly favored by the
possession of the improved Elastic Truss.
Yours truly, BARLOW J. SMITH, NJ D.
Proprietor Hygienic Medical institute,
r.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

Trusting to chants Expecting to get
to heaven by singing.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09
A REMARKABLE CURE.

SAN Francisco, Oct. rs, 1813&
w. j. Horne, Proprietor California Elastic
Truss, 70z Market street, San Francisco-Sir
am truly grateful to you for the wonderful CURE
your valuable truss has effected my little boy.
The double truss purchased from you has PER.
FECTLY CURED him Of his painful rupture on
both sides in a little over six months. The steel
truss he had before bought yours caused him
cruel torture, and it was happy day for us all
when he laid it aside for the CALIFORNIA ELASTIC
TRuss. I am sure that all will be thankful who
are providentially led to give your truss trial.
You may refer any one to me on this subject.
Yours truly, WIZ. HEsU,
63S Sacramento Street.
This is to Gritty that have examined the son
of VIM. Peru, and find him PERFEC fly
CURED of Hernia on both sides.
L. DEXTER LYFoRD, M. D.
Surgeon and Physician.
Ifusses forwarded to all parts of the United States
at o,tr. .eepense receipt Of price.
Send Stamp for Illus irated Catalogue
aud Price List.
till
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

THE Boy AND THE BAKERS CART.-The
The driver of the bakers cart should
have known better than to cut small boy
who pinched his horse, for when the man
went into the ''palace dining rooms" the
small boy took big stone and knocked
out the staple that held the bar across
ten big pie drawers in the bakers cart.
Presently the bakers man came out of
the restaurant wiping his mouth, jumped
on his seat, and started briskly down the
street. At the first jounce the bar rat
tied down, a drawer slid out, and a big
apple pie, after chassening about for a
few seconds hopped into the street; then
two squash pies Lit on the crossing with
spank, and now the other drawers slid
out, and pies, turnovers and tarts made a
dessert of the streets, to the delight of
the small boy. At last the shouts of the
teamsters arrested the career of the
bakers man, and, looking back at two
blocks of pastry, he piously exclaimed:
''Well, I'm and probably ne was
when he got home.-[Philadelphia
Times.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

A WHIsTLING BUoY-A new buoy has
been invented by M. Perrin, of Havre,
which includes the novel feature of an
nouncing its position by means OF
whistling. In shape the body is similar
to the ordinary conical buoy, except that
about three feet from the extreme top it
is made fat On this are fastened two
small tubes, through which the air goes
into the interior, and between these a
tremendous whistle is fixed. Around
the whole is hand-rail, and two steps
are placed, so that the summit may be
reached from boat for painting, repair.
ing and other purposes. Besides, there
is man-hole From the bottom of the
cone large iron tube, about thirty feet
long and between six and seven feet in
circumference, is attached. When in
use, more especially in a heavy sea. the
wind, on going down the small tubes in
the top, is Immediately forced out
through the whistle by the perpetual
bobbing up and down Of the buoy. The
noise, it is expected, will be SO great
that it will be heard for miles off from
the place where it is moored, thus giving
ample notice of the dangers that sur
round it.
The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-04-09

The daughter of Spotted Tail, tall,
ungainly young woman of eighteen, is
studying in the Government School for
has lately married the hal.breed interp-
reter employed at the barracks, and when
sent to do some scrubbing the other day
her lordly husband interfered. His
wife was Of royal blood, he remarked, the
daughter of Chief, and he wanted her to
learn only what the white ladies dos
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19
Thought He Was Irish.
Carson appeal.

Carson Appeal.
The other day Q rough.looking man
stepped into clothing store on Carson
street and wanted to buy suit oi
clothes. The price was $50, but after
careful examination OF the texture OF the
goods hs declined to purchase at the
figures named and started for the door.
"Holt on" said the proprietor. "sell
'em at de cost brice." The clerk asked
hsw much and the "boss" said in Ger.
man, sixteen dollars. The countryman
turned around and said he guessed he'd
take another look at 'em, anyhow.
He tried them on and got before the
glass.
Cost price. you say?"
The clerk assented and the country.
man handed him sixteen dollara remark.
ing:
"You can tie the old ones up"
"Hold on. the cost price Ia twenty
four dollars" said the clerk.
"Gusss you're mistaken: l heard the
boss say sixteen"
The boss looked up with: "By jem-
iniel can you speek Ghermani Thought
You vas an Irishman all do vils."
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19
our ADVERTISING AGENTS.
rRlxrEws INK Is KIsG.

There 10 Q host OF men who boast
OF powder. cotton. steam.
But every hour the mighty power
or printers ink IL seen.
II moves the world a. tasily
As does some mighty thing.
And men proclaim IN despots' ears
Thai printers lux 10 king.
The man Of gold. Of wealth untold.
Printers ink may scorn.
Or knit his brow. nor deign to bow
To one 90 lowly born:
But printers ink has built It's throne
Where mind Its tributes bring.
And Gods most gifted intellect
shout. Printers Ink Is King
King Of the world OF thoughts refined,
No Abject slave In chains.
where superstition's victims plned,
IL burst their sefvile chains.
In every cline. la coming years,
viii men proud anthems rins.
And round the world the echoes nost.
That printers Ink is king
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19
ANNUAL MEETING.

0rFICE OF LADY WASHINGTON CON.
~ solldated Company. San francisco, July
OF the above named Company will be held on
WEDNESDAY, the Twenty-eighth day Of July.
at the hour Of two O'Clock p NJ, At the once Of
the Company. this city, for the election Of .
Board Of Directors for the ensuing year and the
transaction Of such other business o. may De
presented. Transfer Books will be closed on
saturday, the oath instant. at II o'clock H., and
until after the meeting.
WIN. u. WATSON. Secretary.
Oface-Rooms and Q. No. 3o2 Montgomery
s,reet. jyl2 I'd
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19

A Danbury man tells q good story OF
his aunt, who Is q model housekeeper
and 4 scrupulous s,ickler for good
table. The clergyman called near the
dinner hour and was pressed to stay to
the meal. At the table was good sup
ply Of we'll. prepared food. but the lady
felt compelled to mako many apologies
for imaginary deficiencies. In the grace
the clergyman asked our heavenly Father
to "bless the frugal meal" This made
the lady very mad.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19
ANNUAL MEETING.

OFFIoE OF BENTON CONSOLIDATED
~ Mining Company, San Francisco. July IL.
the above named Company will be held on
"WEDNESDAY, the Twenty.eighth day Of July,
1880, At the hour Of one O'Clock p. NJ, at the
ofice Of tho Company. this city, for the cleo
ton Of q Board OF Directors for the ensuing
year and the transaction OF such other busi
ness as may be presented. Transfer Books
will be closed on Saturday. the Gath In.
stsnt, at u o'clock ~. and untn after the meet
ing WIN. II. WATSON. secretary.
Oface-Rooms and Q. No. 500 Montgomery
an ,reet' jyla.td
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19
FOR SALE,

orvxN HUNDRED CORDS OF FIhsr
> rsis dry wood. AsRly AsRS.E T. T. CURTIS.
s,n.,,n,sodspt Justice mine. Lover GOLD nui'
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19

Old gentleman (whose cellar is his
pride and boast And now. sir. you
shall taste some good port" Atable
donkey" oh. pray. don't send out for
ANYTHING more on my account
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19

Il Is ths drummer who can make the
merchant uneasy by flirting With his
wife, that gets an order quickly and can
by those means visit several towns n
day.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1880-07-19

The Philadelphia Chronicle says that
the Western girls do not use rouge, but
that they over night put mustard plas-
tsrs on their cheeks, which stay red for
q long time.