The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-01-22
Citizen Salad.


The trees are putting out
And sprightly insects venture forth
To scan the plants that sprout.
Ethereal mildness fills the air
And stimulates the soil;
But, harkl the thrifty farmer swears
His meats about to spoil.
The balmy air and budding troes
Ave things we should lot fiout,
But if the pork is going up
Ethereal spring, get outl
We desire to rank among the
benefactors of mankind, DR..
George f. Hawley, of Hartford,
Connecticut. He shot an insurance
agent recently.
A New York opera singer pur
Joined his room-mate's pocket book
the other day and was promptly ar
rested; but his punishment will
hardly interfere with his vocation,
for he will be sent to Sing Sing.
Surprising pertness-Louisville
calling Nashville little inland city
and advising her to fling away am
bition. 1t is perhaps unnecessary
to say that advice, administered in
this manner, causes Nashville to
erect her spinal column.
The aroma of the cheerful skunk
salutes the nostrils of Pulaskians
almost every hour in the day. The
skin of this animal seems 20 be in
demand, but by the laundering
Jove if the odor it diffuses could
be thrown upon some other market
We should rejoice.
When the Louisville, Nashville
and Great Southern purchased that
50, 100000 OF stock, it gobbled up
$500 miles of.railway and ST. 500, 900
worth of steamships, and it wasn't
a good day for gormandizing iron
and vessels, either.
Judas betrayed his Master for a
mere song, and it is not surprising
that V. X. S. disposed of his pro
tege, the jocund King Cole, for half
million. Judas hanged himself
and V. X. S. might profit by his
example.
A popular young physician of Pu-
laski, who takes his meals at the
Linden House, was guilty of a felic-
itous retort the other day. One of
the walters asked him how he would
take his steak-rare or well done?
He replied: "Well done, thou good
and faithful servant, and you bet I'll
rare if it isn't brought that way"
If this isn't an original joke we
have been imposed on, that's all.
Beasley, one of the low-tax lead
ers, is the inventor of a new kind of
religion, the details of which we do
not pretend to understand, but we
know that his system fails to CON-
prehehd future punishment. We
heard him on one occasion describe
his route to heaven, but as passen-
gers had to start from Winchester
we were disposed to take our
chances in another direction. Ac-
cording to his faith, God was orig
mated for the convenience of Beas-
ley and his disciples, and when the
day of final account comes, if their
sins reach larger aggregate than
was at first supposed, all they have
to do is to step up like little men
and settle at 33A cents on the dollar.
Beasley,a las we said before, doesn't be-
lieve in hell, and since we have OBJ
served his course with regard to
the state debt we are inclined to
believe that ne is perfectly sincere.
His name is Rhorer. He lives in
Louisville and he was the president
of Savings Bank. He was a good
old man, too good in fact, and it
was really refreshing to see him pat
little children on the head, smiling
benevolently all the while. He at
tended Sabbath school regularly,
had front pew in the church, and
as he sauntered down the aisle, pi-
GUS damsels, as well as maidens of
uncertain age, would exclaim:
"What a dear old gentleman
Well, this dear old gentleman, with
his paternal manner and pious
ways, managed in very pious style
and with very genial smile to
scoop in and summary appropriate
to his own use something over $685.
900 belonging to the bank. When |
the deficit was discovered, the
dazed directors observed that their
dear old president was dear in.
dear in fact---and |
the remark was heartily Endorsed |
by the depositors, who were bang
ing at the front door. Poor, dear |
old Rhorer, was summoned and |
when asked where the funds had
gone, Unanswered with a smile that
had lost none of its paternal warmth
that they had skipped in the direc-
ton of Wards aquatic fowls. This
answer was accompanied by the
dear old remark that if any individ-
lal in that crowd was without sin
Of a similar character he might
'hrow the first stone, and nobody
stopped down to pick up a rock.