The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1880-03-17
HUMANITY on WHEELS.


History does not tell us who i,
was that discovered that anything
round would roll over, but lie must
have smiled TO see it roll.
Though there might have been no
spokes in the primitive wheel, yet as
it turned on its axle, it grated the
first notes Of doom for ''leg bail. "
But that must have been a long
while ago. How humanity ''gocs it,
on wheels now a-days is more inter
esting. IS
Carefully wu'ageted up with a corn
colored afghan" embroidered with
u big red Baby with his head
hanging over the back edge Of the
seat in break neck fashion, tha,
prince Of humanity, the infant, is
jolted over uneven pavements by its
nurse, and she is generally good
looking.
Astride rolling tripod, the small
boy "scoots" up and down tho walks
in the park and through, under and
over the tagging legs of pedestrians
in a manner that is terrible to be
hold. He is a knight--no, he is Q
nuisance.
His impecunious playmate disdains
such dummery and boldly clinging
to the tail,board Of the butchers
cart, las a jolly ride, interrupted
only by cringing duck of the head
when some one shouts "whip be
hind"
The byciclist noiselessly rolls by
giving you and your horse q sudden
start. If this fellow wasn't bow-Ieg.
scd aud didu't toe in we should have
more respect for him.
The drayman standing up on his
springless truck rsttlcs and jolts
over the cobhle-stones till you expect
to see him .iisintegrate; but he mere
~ makes his digestion better and
shakes down his muscles till they
arc soii,i.
There is the market boy. Hcav.
ems! how rcrklessly he turns corners
aud how like Jehu he drives; bu,
the careless fool never meets with ali
acci,lent--to himself. 1t is the pc.
.lestrians who suffer.
! The coachman. lie will sit alta
tuesque in his box in hot summer
day with forty-two pounds Of livery
overcoat OH him, holding his whil
ut an angle of forty.five degrees, and
never move an eyelid. He is tht
sphynx on wheels.
Lolling on easy cushions, sus
tanned by springs as delicate as those
Of watch the aristocratic young la
dy rolls through the streets. She
knows nothing Of the harsh realitie,
Of life and cares enough eight less
The sporting man with the rib
bons held tight on his favorite sor
rel, speeds like the wind down til.
avenue. The horse was maize fol
him, and the spokes of his buggy
wheels whizz Us rapidly as his lite
goes By.
The horse car. Evcry-body's
''turn out" only there are loo man,
''turn outs" and long waists on most
lines; but then you have the interest
ing company Of the conductor anc
the ''chinning" female in the corner
The acme Of wheel travel is The
palace drawing room car, in short, {
Pull man car that pulls man pleas
antly along over miles Of countr,
and through town and city at a rat,
that would make Phoebus hinscl
Jealous. The man who doesn't ira
vel in q palace car $50 outrage
ously poor that he can't afford it.
/ We have purposely omitted III,
circus chariot from this list. 1t i,
too 'gol.len crusted" for these days
Of silver and greenbacks.
1t is not everybody that gets ,
chance TO ride. There is a time com
ing-but what's the use of giving [
man ride when he's dead and can
enjoy it.-[Ncw Haven Register.