The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-02-04
ZEPH PKRKER'S STRATAGEM.


'ssleepy, baby-faced set O. people
Air they RAby-faced enough, you bet
but / tell you, Stree, that l believe
they're 'beout born with all their eye
teeth cut in theie celestial jaws; and
yeW've got to get up airly, sir, If you
want to take in ChineeW
The speaker was a hard faced, hollow
jawed gentleman, in a glossy black suit,
which fitted him very badly, and the
remark was made in the smoking-room
of the Continental" There he was
to be seen daily, and he was supposed
20 nave "given the speckylaters fits in
Ile;" in other words, he was believed
to have made fortune in petroleum.
At all events, he had plenty of money,
and was very generous in the spending
of it,
The conversation had turned on the
Vexed Chinese question, and he struck
into the discussion,
1 reck Fleet" he said, "there was
Zeph Parker. He was long o. me and
a few more up to Nevada, JUS 'beout
the time of the silver craze. The bows
had been washing for gold; honesU-like,
meow gittin' it out O. pockets, meow
outer the stream; and when done they'd
WITH bit o. wash out, and gone off to
another claim, Mister Washee Washee
Chinee would come and go over the dirt
after them and be satisfied with what
he got. Then comes the silver craze
All o. us goes of and loses all we'd made
In gold, gifts no silver, and comes back
disappointed to try after the gold again.
Guess we might try and try again,
but no gold could we get; and all 'beout
I, e.
Cinnamon, gettin' on prosperous and
cOntended.
6 tell yew, said Zeph, g I shall 90
and murder one o them smilin' teapofs,
can't stand it rhuch longerP
This here was in our bit of tent,
when we TSas trying to make ourselves
happy, playin' poker on credit and
EeeT,In' no account.
''F What forP sez.
"' What forT cries Zeph. Dew
yew think that /, an enlightened sitter
zen of free country am gwine to set
deWp and be robbed O my mess O golden
pottage by pack o. smilin', washer
women-faced, opium-smokin' celestial
JacObs2 No, Stree, this dogs gwine to
bitel'
But 1 don't kinder see what this
,
amt done nUthin' to you
'f' Mateys,' sez Zeph,' gettin' on the
barrel as had been his seat, things has
come to purity pass with us, haven't
thew
"'Right, old hoss, sez some one,
hammerin' the chest lid as had been our
table.
"'H Haz any man here got any to-
baccOP sez Zeph.
"' Mop
"'Haz any man here got any old
bourbon whiskyP
,|' Haz any man got any dustT
"'Any -four, or pork, or boots, OF
new blankets p
mo, 70, no, neP
20 Then them Chinese haz,' continued
Zeph; and what I sez is this-as it is
sin and a shame to let pack of heath
enish cures like them teapots, ss never
goes to churches nor listens to par
sons
sf l say, Zeph.' sez some one, when
did you so to meetin' lastP
Never you mind, sez Zeph, and |
don't you interrupt a man as wants to |
give you suthin' to eat. A set of cusses,
/ seZ, as never goes TO meetin', and |
b'lieves in nothin' but joss-houses. say, |
it's a sin to let 'em be gittin' fat on our |
Iand, while were as thin ana starved, |
loOkin' as-as-as--'
% AS ole Zeph Parker himself, sea
Tom Paggins.
5"' Well, ez thin ez am, if you like
sez Zeph.
- This is all very purity sez, but
we can't go and take claim from the |
teapots, Zeph; nor we can't rush 'em |
and annex the dust and nuggets they've
washed out
Z" No. said Zeph, winkin' one eye.
but we kin strategise 'em.'
"f Howp I sez. Don't kinder see it
They're too deep to be done,
"' YahP sez Zeph, they're bout ez
deep ez a two-cent plate. Give me the |
means and I'll sell the lot and put a
g0Od p0cKetful O. dollars or dust IN
every mans .pocket-six o. usP
60 But what means d. yer wantP I sez.
"' One handful o. dust, sez Zeph.
And where are we to get itP sez
Tom Paggins. 80
90 This how sez Zeph Morrow
mouin' every man hyar's to 60 round
the camp and cadge. Tell the boys
we're hard up, but we got good thing
on. They'll subscribe little all reourd.
Yew see if they don't
90 Wen, Wen try sez we and we
went to sleep hungry and got up raw
enous.
" There was nothin for it but to go 70