The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1880-10-01
COMICALIT /
ONE good turn is as much ca yen car
expect from cheap silk.


PoLITENEss requires that all calls made
by telephones should be returned.
IT is proposed to adopt the light,
springy bicycle wheels to carriages
"THE rOofer" has an elevated occu-
patton, but hire life ia led by the livery
horse. ttnlJ9
The Knights of Pythias at ST Louis
were initiated into the highest degree
SO in the shade. :. ,o'saasS
No man. while board fence advertising
is popular, will ever be allowed to forget
that he has liver. -. 80
A MAN in Newark, N. j., has recov-
cred $1,000 damages for q sbrnkep leg.
But his wife is 30 mad because h6 isn't
a centipede that she won't 'spaak ID him.
AN ingenious locomotive engineer has
just patented an improved "spafk ar
roster" Here il another enemy to the
course of true love. Is3t sal ,sSo
On Lord Plunket's property u ireland
the "bull has been made ofsputting
| up notice to the effect that ono poach-
ing is permitted in these preserves with
| out permission OF the owner"
How time changes! In the good Old
Testament days it was considered mir
acle for an ass to speak, and now nothing
short Of miracle will keep one quiet
Wheeling Leader. fg8..fl. tss.s
AGEoRGIA young man asked his sweet
heart whether she had ever read Romeo
and Juliet" She replied that she had
read Romeo, but she did not think she
had ever read Juliet. g tdag05
A DEFINITIONS: "Bob, what's steam ?"
Boiling water" "Thats rght-com-
pare it." "Positive boil, comparative
boiler, superlative burst. Fatheriess
Item "E gi9Gs uE
IT is easy to stump Rhode island. A
grand stand is erected in the middle Of
the state, and the thing is done with
single speech. Parties Of the opposition
go into Connecticut until the speaking is
over. .l sfsg
A CALIFORNIA convict who was about
to be hung calmly sang song to the
sheriff, but the local journals do not
know the name of the song. 1T must
have been "Break the Moose Gently."-
Nep York Herald. ~ hir6E
ToURIsT-"I say, boy what's the
name of that hill yonder ?" Boyo"Dun-
no.. Tourist" Don't know? What!
lived here all your life ana don,t know
the name of it ?" Boy" No; the hill was
here afore I com'd. 4" B.. M, go
AN old landmark removed, "What
does your oldest inhabitant thinks of this
weather." asked stranger Of q Calves
ton man. "We haven't got any oldest
inhabitant. He died of the yellow fever
i'll 1907. "-Gaipeston Neaos.s -
A YOUNG lady with taste for fancy
needlewOrk says that she does not see
why General Roberts should be so high
ly praised for defeating Ayoob Khan and
his forces. "Afghans are generally
worsted, she remarks.-M y Graphic.
The word "welcome = on the door
or worked in silk floss and framed to
that the relatives, even unto the third or
fourth generation may come in at all
times aud make themselves perfectly at
ome.-BOstOn Globe. "a 40
Why she kindled her wrath: "Bar
ker! Barker!" shouted the unhappy
mans wife while he was in bed, where
in the world is the kindling wood ?"
81 don't know, nor care, I" said the un-
feeling wretch; "but you'll find yester-
day mornings in the ash-barrsl. "-Bos-
tom Post.
THIS Ia the mild September, ~
When the mocking bird dngs fdgh
| And the willy politician . .
syly winks his iarboard eye. a.
Loudly bawls the sage stump spcaker,
While the scribe Is taking notea;
And the hungry oface seeker
Scents afar the smell Of oats. -
-Hacksnsaok Aspubliean.
OVERHEARD on Chestnut street:
Pretty Miss Ito grabbed old bachelor I'M
cle): "Oh, look, uncle, there's bit of
gold on the pavement :" Grabbed uncle
(picking the piece of nletalsnp): "It's
nothing but brass. Pretty Miss:
"Why, where could it have fallen from ?"
Grabbed uncle: 81 don't know, unless
from your cheek" a.i5'l.aaaa
A HARLEM minister, while marrying q
couple recently, is reported tolhave been
rather disconnected ON asking the bride
groom if he was willing. 70. take the
young lady for his welded wife, by his
scratching his head and saying: Eyes,
I'm willing: but I'd much 1deht rather
have her sister. "-Ne,O YpEsC CONNER
ciai. ..f... nae s,t-.s--s
He loves his fellow-mans =" Are You
guilty or not guilty?". was asked of q
colored prisoner. 6Well, atoss," he re-
piled, II was in de na'bo, hoods&hen dem
hams was tooken, but ii doesn't look jis'
right to beat dis respectant crowd outen
de pleasureableness oh seeing q trial, do
it itP Dafo' / pleads n g"2Modern
AryO. a.Io.R olcA bds
THOMAS JEFFERSON ussasto keep
scrap.book. And he was a. great man,
too; but to the day Of his death he was
not able to find anything in that book
that he wanted to find, and al his really
important scraps he carried around in
his vest pockets until they.Wsflded and
chaffed themselves into sl.sdy.and unin-
telligible lint.-Hawheyf, aissf
"CAN yon keep q secret On said Mr..
Middlerib, impressively, looking at his
wife. "Indeed I can, slie exclaimed
eagerly, running across the sDOm that
she might cling to the Qlsppels Of his
coat while she listened, K.Well," said
the brutal man, "you can, do q great
deal more than I can, Them / never
could remember one long ea6agh to tell
it."-Burtington Ha,ckeye,
He had not seen his friend for some
years. The other day hemet ahim COM
ing up one of our avenues with his wife
va hAo "thS oCSoaapuibcu ~ - hetiC wy
and said: ~ would have known you
anywhere by that boy He has got your
mouth and chin, but his donAe eyes and
forehead are precisely like. his. mother's.
l never saw such perfect resemblance"
The boy was an adopted one. -Er-
change. ''~i" Csss3
PRErERnEp anothermodel::a The stern
old uncle is giving lhis escsapegrace
nephew his quarterly lecture, end at the
conclusion. after having pointed out the
young mans eminent worth essness, he
says, in kinder and more Patsrnal tone:
"Come, come, my boy; letE have no
more Of this. Be yourseK sohee more"
"Alas, uncle" says hsst.porrigible
youth, show. can you think lfrging me
to become being so miserable and lost
to shame. French Paper, "
"THE milk is the white blbod," say
the Cinnamon, and on Ahis 4f0and they
abhor using milk and, tioJ1l1nctions OF
the dairy. In some stprseN the largest
Chinese cities there Il MY 10 sale, but
it is not the milk Of beast, and is used
for babes and old peoples a1oIose of the
European residents WIN hArupon get
ting milk for their cofes. e0wUonly get
that of swine. "a Fyen06mbp. SAYS
French magazine, "wko IN in China
with his family, kept hiSl 6ubw. His
servant, o tChinamad, Istnltf&ip milk in
order to sell it toitee Kl10 pans. At