Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-10-13
NASBY.
Mr.. Nasty Makes Pathetic Appeal TO the De-
mocracy Of the North,

Eff the Dimocrisy NY the north Good
only realize the cOndishun the Dinoc-
risy of the south is in, they wood put
on ther armOr, and never lay it off till
the last vote wuz polled.
The condishun Nv the south is pitiable
III the eggstreme, and, onless immeiit
relief is extended, nobody kin be anser-
able for the consciousness.
The mOuntins is full NV distillers
wich is bein huntid by a tirantlike gov
eminent. The rites Nv the citizens Nv
the south to manufakter their corn
into whisky, and sell that whisky with
out paying any tax onto it, is dispootid.
Federal revenue agints, backed up by
armed men is scourin the mountins,
and, when moonshiner is caught, his
hkker is confskated and his still de-
stroyed. 1t wood be sUthin eff the likker
wuz brot down to the villages and
distribbitid to the citizens, but it is
not. The heads of the barls are crooelly
stove in, and the preshus food is drank
by the non-appreciative earth, witch hez
no bowels that need it.
Over 10000 gallons hev bin thus
destroyed within ten miles Nv the Cor
ners, this yeer. Think Nv the Dimocrats
that this ikker wood hev made! Think
NV the comfort that lkker wood hev bin
to me and Deekin Pogram!
But it is lost forever.
We want congris that will keep the
tax on likker, but we want a president
and treasury department that will not
collect the tax in the south. Eff the tax
wuz removed, the north wood underse1
us and destroy this revenoo; but by
maxim the north pay the tax, and hevin
revenoo officers that wood not collect it
in the south, this industry Good be
maintained.
We want the tax on terbacker repealed
entirely, ceptin on SIGH varieties ez they
raise in the north. Our northern friends
must remember that the heaviest tax we
pay is on terbacker, and it bears heavily
onto our people. The impoverished
south needs heap NV nussin jist now,
and this would be help for us only SEX
kond to proper arrangement Nv the
hkker interest.
Then we must hev the Offices. The
Dimocrisy Nv the south lost their laber
when the feend and goriller, Linkon,
emansipatid the niggers, and the south
ern gentleman is altogether too bawty to
perform manyooel laber hissef, Next
to Twin off Nv niger laber, he is adaptid
to holiin light and easy ofises, where
the laber isn't too hefty and the pay is
ample. The ofises is all in the hands
Nv the Radikels now, and we langish.
All our interests langish. Not bein post
master, L hev no money to spend at Bas-
CONS, and he mourns. Not bein collec-
tor, M'Pelter hez bin obliged to put a
mortgage on his farm in favor Nv Bas-
com, witch Bascom don't want, ez he hez
to pay cash for ikker in Louisville.
We want thes places ourselves, and
must hev EN-.
Then we wont to be soor Nv bein free
from any interference with our system
Nv laber We perpose to hev the niger
back to his normal condishen in some
shape or another, wich we kin never do
so long ez Ablishnists are at the head NV
things in Washington, and the govern
ment is controlled by radical congress.
Republican government is a standin
menace to the south.
1t amt nessary for me to refer to the
payment Nv our claims for losses doorin
the war, and the pensioning Nv our Con-
fedrit heroes. That is the very first thing
to be done, for wat the south needs is
capitle.
We hev now clames before congr1s
wich amounts to several billions, and we
must hev congris wich will pay them
clames, and president wich won't veto
the bills. We are sufferin for this money.
Deekin Pogram hez elaine in for hun
dred mules that Morgan ceezed, and the
poor old man, on the vergeuv the grave,
wants the money. [ hev clame in for
a penshun for servis in the Looizeaner
Pelikins, and I want it to smooth my
pathway to the toOm.
We shan't be hard upon the govern
ment. We shell want a part Nv it cash
down, and the balance in bonds. To
make the down payment the government
kin ishoo greenbax, wich by increesin
the vollum NV the currency wood slim
oolate trade, and the bonds mite run fur
ever eff interest WIZ promptly paid. 700
see we are reasonable We don't wish
to embarrass nobody.
Pay these claims, penshun our soljers,
and give us SIGH appropriashuns ez we
want, and the south will be loyal to the
government so long ez it hez a govern
ment bond left. Is it likely we'd ever
rebel agin government on the interest
Nv whose debt we wuz Twin, and wich
we controlled? There is but one way Nv
soothin the southern hart, and pacifyin
the southern soul.
Dimekrats of the north, to you we ap-
pele. You see the fix we are in. Eff
southern planter Good go to work like
northern farmer, it wood be difrent,
We mite then rekooperate ourselves.
But it can't be did. We are proud,
governin, roolin race, and must be cared
for ez SIGH. It wuz the north that took
away our niggers, and the north must
take Their place.
The south holds out it's hands to 700.
Sc that we are not disappointed agin.
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
(Manager for Hancock
P. S.--Bascom hez jist returned from
Inleany, where he went to see the Dim
ekratic state committee to see eff he
cooden't indoose EN- to send some money
into Kentucky. English sternly refoosed,