The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1880-03-18
Which Our Good.humored Writers
Give to Journalistic Work.


as "fat old Isabella" This is as bad as
being blown up by dynamite.-[New
Haven Register.
Now they say the real grievance of the
Cincinnati people against Theodore
Thomas is that he would not beat time
with ham, Inter-Ocean.
1t is nowise improbable that the Rev.
Mr.. Murray will shortly return to Bos-
ton, and again appear in an independent
pulpit. tt Boston Transcript.
What mean all these hairbreadth es-
capes Of the Gear Of all the Russias9 Do
they portend starring tour through the
United States?-[ Boston Transcript.
Mr.. Smalltalk-ls that a Virginia
creeper behind you, Miss Violet? Miss
Violet (wildly)-O, where9 where9 o,
do take it off!-[Harvard Lampoon.
WHAT'S a kiss?
| touch OF the lip,
A union of souls
A time TO skip e .fr
for the old man is coming.
|. lSteubenville Herald.
An exchange says: 4'Our consuls in
China grow rich apd return as China
Astors." This is natural, on account of
their stay in the Flowery Kingdom
Lowell Journal.
"What Woman Can Do" is the IT,
tie Of an article in an exchange; but
what we want to know is what woman
can't do when she makes up her mind
New York Mail.
It is questioned whether or not Cap
tain Kidd was pirate. In the whirli-
gig Of time it may turn out that he was
a distinguished officer of now forgotten
nayy.-[New Orleans Picayune.
"James'-Yours received. It is called
a drop curtain, because when it goes
down the boys 60 out for drop Of some
thing, custom handed down from the
days Of Shakespeare Marathon indie
pendent.
There is woman in Wisconsin who
has been married fifty-eight years, and
who has never missed building the kitch-
en- fire. Her husband is probably the
oldest fire escape on record.-[ Waterloo
Observer.
Mamma (entering)-"Now, I'm sure
you children are in mischief, you are 80
quiet" Ethel (in rapturous whisper)
-"Husb, NAL Tommy's been painting a
spiders web on grandpa's bald head
while he's asleep, to keep the flies OFF,
l-[Punch.
1t is curious to note how flaming
new silk handkerchief will struggle up
from the deepest breast pocket into the
light Of day and linger there, while the
soiled cotton one skulks at the bottom,
making only now and then hasty sally
into the open air. Baltimore Gazette.
AT dinner she had doctor on either
hand, one of whom remarked that they
were well served, since they had a duck
between them. eyes," she broke in
her wit is of the sort that comes in
flashes -"and I am between two quacks."
Then silence fell.-[ Boston Transcript
"My boys" said a kind Oil City
teacher, "f you would be President Of
the United States, you must be good
and studious" "Who wants to be
President" yelled out young chap
from a back seat. I'd rather be Buff
fer Bill, and shoot an Injun." And the
boys ali chorused, "Them's our senti-
ments." ~ Oil City Derrick.
Over 200 "shapes" of hats that are to
be fashionable this spring. This is an
increase of fifteen over the winter styles,
and can not fail to give bewildering va
riety to ladies' toilets. The broken-down
tin-pan style is still to be the correct
thing, and theatrical hats are enlarged
by the addition Of a wing New Haven
Register.
j Manville (t6 his widowed friend Chas-
uble, who has views on art -"Is it true
: that you've broken off with Sir Henry's
daughter?" Chasuble-"Alas, yes,
was forced to, although she is charm
ing woman" Manville--"Whyw Chas-
uble-" -"hcompatibility Of complexion.
She does not suit my furniture" In
terlOcean.
) Precisely. "Pa, DEAR" asked his son
and heir, "tell me what is the difference
! between an accident and a misfortune. u
Pa, dear, gave it up. "Well," said the
son and heir, "if my pressing tailor, Mr.
q Simpson, were to fall into deep pond
it would be an accident, but if any one
were to pull him out it would be mis-
\ fortune."-[ Judy.
A certain painter was Dragging of his
wonderful command of color to friend
one day. His friend did not seem to
take it quite all in. "Why," exclaimed
the painter, "do you know that there are
but three painters in the world, sir, who
understand colorf" "And who are
theyw at last asked the friend. "Why
, sir, I am one, and-and-and-I forge
i, the names Of the other twol"-[ Elk
change.
An old woman Of the name Of Gordon
! in the north Of Scotland, was listening
to the account given in the Scriptures o
l6oiomon's glory, which was read to he
by little female grandchild. Whel
the girl came to tell of the thousan,
Q camels which formed part Of the Jewisi
g - L.