davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
StrinpY.

George was extravagantly iond
of cold cabbage, and one day, see
ing quite a dishfal was left after
dinner. asked his wife TO save it for
his salad at night.
About midnight George came
home laboring under a stress of
heavy weather. Feeling hungry,
and thinking of his favorite cab
bage be asked where it was.
His wife replied, ''In the pantry,
on the second shelf"
Down he went, found the cab
bage, got out the oil, mustard and
vinegar, cut up the cabbage, dress
ed it TO his taste and ate IL all.
In the morning his wife noticed
the plate Of cabbage where she had
put IL the day before, and turning
to her Dear George" lnnocently
asked why he did not eat the cab
bage.
"I did" he said.
"How did you like itr'
"Ohl not very well, IL was tough
and stringy.'
"But here is the cabbage now,
where did you find any morer
"Why, on the second shelf, where
you told me-"
A quick look at the shelf by tho
wife and then a cry of agony.
"Why, George, you have eaten
$40 worth of lace collars and cuffs
that l had put in starch; stringy
cabbage, indeed!
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
How a Judge Was Squelched.

Madison Democrat.
Some three or four years ago
there were several very important
suits before the United States court
of this city; and the clients
were represented by number of
brilliant legal luminaries-among
them was Judge Stoughton, of New
York city, afterward appointed min
lister to Russia. He evidently e:x-
pected to find Madison in the
woods, with only few third-rate
lawyers to attend to her legal busi-
ness. But here the old gentleman
must have been surprised; for he
found quite a number right here
among US that could "get right
away with him. even on his pet
subject. But to the joke. 1t was
at the Park hotel dinner table
The "sage of Mukwanago" was
seated directly opposite to the New
York luminary. Said the sage"
to the New Yorker: "Will you
please pass the pickles, sir?" There
was no attention paid to the re-
quest. 1t was repeated quite dis
tlnctly, when an answer came: "My
name is Stoughton, sir-S-t-o-u-g-h-
t-o-nr The "sage" glanced over
his glasses, and setting his eyes
closely upon the venerable old gen
tleman, replied: "The h-ll you
say !" and rising in his seat and ex
tending his hand, added: For
twenty five years Pve been taking
your stomach bitters, and meyer
had the pleasure of seeing you till
now-shake, old man" There was
roar at the table, and the great
lawyer didn't stop for his strawber-
ries and cream.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
MOVING TENDENCIES.
A Catalogue Of Celebrated Removals
for Study on Moving day.


To begin at the beginning, Adam
and Eve moved out of the garden
because they didn't comply with
the conditions of the lease. 1t
didn't include fruit.
Noah moved his whole family by
water to get out of bad neighbor-
hood, and found after all that he
had taken the worst neighbors
with him.
The children of Israel moved out
OF Egypt between two days, with a
good deal OF their masters property
In their grip sacks; an example
that has been followed by profes
sional gentlemen many times since.
The Pilgrim Fathers moved to
I plymouth Rock, because they
couldn't move the rock to them.
Then the Indians began to move
west, because the white mans tene-
ments were held at too expensive
rents for them.
And the Chinese began to move
east, because they jostled one an
other at home.
And the Irish and English, Ger
mans and French, Italian organ
grinders and Russian NJ Memnonites,
all began TO move over here, be
cause they wanted more land about
their houses, and the privilege of
owning it themselves.
Thus the moving boom started,
and every possible excuse has been
invented for moving ever since.
Some people}move because they
have got furniture that looks well
on load, and wish to stir up the
envy of the neighborhood. This
doesn't work after about three
moves. The furniture doesn't
stand up to its good looks.
Occasionally'a man moves be
cause he likes the excitement, but
not often.
People move away from a neigh
| bornood where there are children
because they can't stand the noise,
and find their new house backs up
against a tin shop. Serves them
right.
Quarrelsome people are moved
away from only to find other peo-
pie who not only quarrel but steal
the morning paper from the door
step.
Some folks move because they
want more rooms and larger ones,
and after they get there find every
carpet yard and a~half too small
each way.
Some folks move because they
want to get into a more fashiona-
BILE neighborhood, and find that 1t
cost them three times as much to
dress as it did in the old place.
Some folks move in order that
they may have a garden spot to
cultivate, and spend the summer
fighting potato bugs off the front
piazza. n. B. Their bills for gar
den sass are unusually large.
Some families move where there
is a plat of grass for a croquet
ground and superinduee a quarrel
that ruins the matrimonial pros
poets of the two oldest daughters,
and causes the parish rector to de
liberately say ''gosh."
Some people move because the
mortgage inserts an advertisement
in the paper, and not because they
want to.
Some people move to get a
cheaper rent, and the first rain
storm leaks through the roof and
spoils $75 worth of carpets.
Some people move from force
of habit. The 1st of May would
seem like January to them, cold
and cheerless, if they couldn't fol-
low on behind a load of goods,
with lithograph of the ten COM
mandments in one hand and ker
osene lamp in the other.
Last, but not least, if you had
paid your rent in the old place you
wouldn't be obliged to move
| New Haven Register.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
A Negro Bishop in Westminster
Abbey,

Among the most interesting fea-
lures of the recent gathering of
the bishops of the Anglican Com
munion in London was the presence
of the bishop of Hayti, an Africsn,
horn in the United States, and con-
secrated in Grace church, New
York, in 1874. Bishop James The
odore Holey (for such is his name
the present bishop of Hayti, is a
man of excellent gifts and of gen
uIne missionary spirit. He received
an especially cordial welcome on
his appearance among the English
and American bishops of Lambeth,
and he won the respect and esteem
Of all who came to know him.
While in London Dean Stanley in
vlted him to preach in Westminster
Abbey, on st. James day, and his
sermon, founded on the request of
the mother of James that her two
sons might sit respectively at the
right and left hand of Christ in His
X ngdom, ended with the following
noble and touching prayer;
"And now, on the shores of old
England, the cradle of that Anglo
Saxon Christianity by which L have
been in part at least Illuminated.
standing beneath the vaulted root
of this monumental pile, redolent
with the pIety of bygone genera
tions during SO many ages, In the
presence of the
"Storied urn and animated bust"
that hold the sacred ashes and com
memorate the buried grandeur OF
so many illustrious personages,
catch q fresh inspiration and new
impulse of the divine missionary
spirit of our common christianity;
and here in the presence of God, oi
angels and of men, on this day sa.
cred Ia re memory of an apostle
/ whose blessed name was called ovel
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
conkling and Blaine in the Senate.

Washington Correspondence Chi
cago Times: The other day, du
ring one Of the Geneva award dis
cussions. real school boy episode
in the feud between Conkllng and
Blaine took place. Conkling had
left the senate chamber for a few
moments while Blaine was talking.
Blaine moves about a good deal
when he talks, and before be knew
he had passed along to Conkling's
desk, upon which rested a page of
notes as he talked. Conkling en-
tered a moment after, aud paused
right in the center of the middle
aisle about four feet, glancing in
real school-boy fashion at MIR.
Blaine's occupancy of his place.
Had it been an executive session,
doubtless the New York senator
would have shouldered his way
rudely TO his seat. As it was, he
did nearly the same thing. He
waited, scowling savagely, TO the
great amusement of the galleries,
until Mr.. Blaine moved forward in
the aisle about ono foot In advance
of the desk. Then Conkling rushed
in and took his seat. AS he did so,
Blaine stepped nearly back upon
his enemy. He had no way of get
ting back to his own seat without
going directly in front of Conkling,
or by going around. OF course he
took the latter course. Still con-
tinuing to speak, he passed down
the middle aisle in front of the Re
publican seats, and then, by tack
ing to the windward of kirkwood,
got bnck to hls own seat Just as
Conkling had discovered Blaine's
notes upon the desk where they
had been left. These notes after
ward fell to the floor in some mys'
terious way, and were rescued by
Hannibal Hamlin.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
al BODY Turned into Stone.

About seven years ago the body
Of Mr.. William Blanford, a police
officer, who died at the age of sew
enty years was inferred in the north
side of the Philanthropic Cemetery,
at Passyunk avenue and Morris
street. Last week the body was
disinterred with view Of its being
taken to the Odd Fellows Gene.
terry. Its extreme weight lover 400
pounds) provoked remark, and in
vestigation proved that the body
was entirely petrified. The super
intendent OF the cemetery recalls
the fact that about twenty years
ago, when the body Of q man which
had been buried for three years was
disinterred, and IL was found as
hard as stone and 50 solid that the
body could have been placed In a
standing position like a block Of
marble. II is supposed that there
is some mineral substance in the
water which acts upon the bodies
and produces petrifaction.--l Phila-
delphia Record.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
A Methodical Observation-Disclosures
by His Own Hand.

A Boston dispatch of the Goth
says: The citizens Of Chelsea and
adjoining towns and cities have
been afforded a sensation entirely
novel in Chis part of the country
in the shape of a suicide, in which
remarkable ingenuity and delIber-
ate study as to details renders the
story, as told to interested citizens,
almost beyond belief. Stephen M.
Pillsbury, jr., aged thirty, eldest
son of a raiser of poultry and vege-
tables, has for the past few years
assisted his father on the farm,
sleeping during the summer in a
barb on the premises with his fa-
ther. In the winter he lived in
South Boston and visited the farm
daily to tend the stock and poultry.
Last Saturday both slept at night
in the barn. In the morning the
father set off for home, leaving the
son asleep in the loft. He returned,
and on opening the door of the
barn was mortified to see the head
less corpse of his son lying upon
the floor in pool of gore. Above
the body stood rudely constructed
guillotine, which had been impro-
vised from material found in the
barn. 1t was patterned after the
famous instrument of death, and
despite the rougbness of It's con
struction performed it's bloody
work as thoroughly and unerringly
as did the fureign-made murderous
machine. The two uprights were
twelve feet high, and securely
spiked to the floor of the upper
story, to which they reached. These
were grooved on the inside, and al
lowed of easy movement a piece OF
plank in which was secured, edge
downward, the blade of a carpen
ter's broad AK keenly sharpened.
At the base of the guillotine was a
broad plank. in which a hole had
been chiseled the size Of a mans
neck, in a line with the path the AK
must take in descending. The
weight of the plat k in which the
murderous AK wss set was increased
by box containing fifty pounds OF
more of stone, securely fastened
above. At the cad OF cord which
connected with ever near the top
of the guillotinc tangled an ordina-
ry three gallon watering pot, perfo
rated with holes. This was empty
and from an examination it seemed
that the suicide contriyed his de
/ strnctive machine with infarnal
cunning and ingenuity. He had ev.
identity set his death trap with great
GOODNESS, placing the murderous
knife at tie top, and holding it in
place with the lever, which, in turn
was sustained by the weight OF ths
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

Fifty eight years ago to-day Ulys-
ses Simpson, son of Jesse r. Grant,
was ushered into this vale of tears,
and Immediately began that course
of lacteal nutrition which sent him
booming toward his destined place
-"the head and summit of the hu-
man race" The chronicles of that
period are provokingly silent in re
lation to the birth and early train
ing of this soA of Jesse, but tradi-
tion has it that he submitted to
spanks and other indignities with a
stern stoicism, which, to the dis
cerning mind, foretold the hero. At
the age of four years he exhibited
the rare magnanimity of his charac-
ter by giving his chewing gum to
his sister. But little else is known
of a childhood that must have been
rich in illustrations of juvenile pre-
cocity, or he would not in the early
part of his fourth decade have been
hauling wood into st. Louis. The
most notable part of his life is that
his great gifts in oratory were not
developed nor suspected until al
Galveston a few weeks ago he con
clusively proved the identity of gov
ernment with guano.-[Washington
Post, April 27.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
A JUDGES MISTAKE.
How Doctor Potts Pulled Through"
and How a Young Man Escaped
Getting a Medal.
San Francisco Post.

Young Gluckerson met old Judge
Van Snyder on the ferry the other
day, and, after shaking hands re
spectfully with that venerable friend
OF the family, said, casually:
did you hear of that terrible ac-
cident up at Potts the other nlght?"
Accident? Why, my dear young
friend, no. Nothing serious, |
hope?" said the judge, much inter
ested.
"Well, I'll tell you how it was"
said Gluckerson, in a mournful
voice; "you see the old doctor was
out until about 2 in the morning
attending some patients, and, sup
posing he would be hungry when he
came in, Mrs. Potts put large pan
of milk and mush-the old doctors
favorite dish, you know-under the
stove to keep warm for him."
ayes! yes!" said the judge eager
ly, as Gluckerson stopped to light
a cigar. $50 on-what then?"
swell, the doctor came in after "a
while, and went cropping round in
the dark for his mush-couldn' t
find a match, you know-and, as
luck would have it, he picked up
instead pan containing bread, put
there to rise over night. He was
too tired to notice the difference
besides, he had taken two or three
nips as he drove round-and so he
actually ate up all the dough-"
"Graciousw said the judge.
"It's a fact, though. Well, to-
wards morning the doctor began to
swell, and swell-the yeast was get
ting its work in, you know-and
pretty soon the whole family was up
and rushing around half distracted.
The doctor kept on groaning and
shrieking and swelling until he
looked like a Saratoga trunk. At
last they found what he had done,
and the whole family piled right on
top of him, and sat there while they
sent for cooper"
ga cooperT'
eyes; you see they saw at once
that unless something was done the
doctor would burst before morning.
So the cooper started in and put
nine Of those big half-inch beer-keg
hoops round his stomach. OF
course that stopped the swelling,
and by keeping a tin tube down
his throat for the gas to escape, he
just managed to pull through"
"Oh! the doctor pulled through,
did hep"
"Oh! yes; he's all right now, ex-
cepting-"
"Excuse me-" said the judge,
grimly, as he took out his note
book, "but you will favor me with
your middle name in full. They
are getting up a medal for the
champion liar in the state, by order
of the governor, and 1 think III
send in your"
But the boat had landed, and th'
promising young candidate haC
melted away into the crowd.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
A Debased Statesman.

washington HOst.
A statesman who had tilled a high
place on the bench, who held seat
in the senate until he got n good
chance 20 sell il, sent his young
wife where he hoped she would fall
into evil ways, and hired a detec-
tive TO dog her. The statesman
(Christiancy) is deemed by this
pure administration fit person TO
represent American honor and IN
terests at the capital OF a friendly
republic, while the detective enjoys
an official position in one OF the ex
ecutive departments. IL costs the
people about fifteen thousand dol
lars year to support these two
creatures. And yet there isn't one
in a thousand Of the farmers and
laborers among those who pay the
fifteen thousand dollars that would
speak to the one or allow the other
TO speak 10 him.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
Was Waiting for Him.

A gentleman hires a countryman
for a servant who has never been in
service before. 81 will give you SIS
a month and dress you," says the
master. The country lad looks de-
lighted, and enters at once. The
following morning, however, as his
master did not see him, though it
was getting quite late, he got up
and went to see what was the mat
ter. He found the servant in bed.
The master flew into a passion, but
the man said, "Was it not agreed
that you were to dress me? was
waiting for Voup'
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

A very fashionable lady, who
fairly dotes on her children, and is
very particular about their toilets,
had a narrow escape last Sunday
from losing one of her darlings. 1t
was leaning out of a third story
window, when it lost its balance,
and in a moment more it would
have been dashed to pieces on the
crowded pavement below. Fortu
nately the mother seized it just as
it was disappearing over the win
dow sill. Clasping the saved cher
ub to her breatnless breast, the
fond mother exclaimed, as tears OF
gratitude flo we'd from her uplifted
eyes, "If that child had fallen into
the street with that dirty dress on,
l would never, never have forgiven
myself" And she proceeded to
dress it up in style, so that, come
what might, the family name would
not be disgraced.- Ex.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

The dental authorities estimate
that the $4,000 dentists in this
country are every year packing
into the teeth of the people not less
than halt ton of pure gold, cost
ing $500,000, besides about four
times as much cheaper material, as
silver and platlna, worth 100000
more. Then there are made every
year about 100000 artificial teeth,
mounted on gold, platina or rubber.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

Women, especially unmarried wo-
men, are snares on the road to
peace and happiness. A fellow
will fall in love with one of them,
get married and have a family of
five children before he realizes what
be is doing New Haven Register.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

A Congressman having exclaimed
in debate that he was "filled with
amazement' at his opponents dec
larations, the opponent .retorted
that the next time he went down to
the bar of the restaurant he should
call for "amazemen.."
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

Wedding, reception, banquet, ball and
all kinds of "Invitations" printed at the
CITIZEN office in the most modern style,
on the best and most fashionable sta
tionery as scheapasCincinnati and cheap
er than Nashville for the cash. If we
do not give perfect satisfaction nothing
will be charged. Give us your printing
TO do.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
Columbia Dist.-3rd Round of
Quarterly Meetings.

EIktOu sLH, Juue o o.
Trinity ct, at Aspen Hill, June 10, 20.
Pleasant Valley CT, at Lone Oak. June 26 ~
Prospect CT, at Prospect, July 3,4.
Olivst sta, July 10, IL.
JAMES A. ORNAN.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
LOOK

The pencil marks you see around this
paragraph tthus) mean that your SUBJ
scription is out or unpaid, and that you
are requested to pay up at once. We
would take great pleasure in extending
credit to our friends and patrons, but
cash alone will Yay our expenses, and
we are forced to adhere to a strict cash
rule. We hope you viii comprehend
and appreciate the necessity of such
course, and renew your su scription
without delay. We solicit your favor.
E- We enter no new names on our
books without the money in advance
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

CEE the date upon your paper.
OEE If your time Is out for the
CITIZEN, please remit before we are
compelled to stop 1t.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03

Ny son, deal with men who advertis-
You will never lose by it.-GBen. Frank
lin.
The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-03
PRIVATE

THIS magnificent son of Volunteer and
i Lady Ulster (by Mambrino Messenger,)
will make the season of 1880 at Rockdale,
near Buford's Station, Giles county, Tenn,
at Sl5 tho season, payable 1st July, and $40
ifnot settled by that time. Mares not prov
ing in foal may be returned next season free
of charge. For description, pedigree and
other particulars see small bills. Mares left
at W. n. Rose 81 Co.'S stables will be bred
and returned free of charge.
mar4-sm# +. G.. BUFORD.