Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-09-10
HaWkcye chances.

ceUabDT DldlHc Ddb Two ul3E'tpdIIN
tables which were once the property
OF John &. Calhoun.
General Hancock is Ii twin. His twin
brother, Hilary Hancock, is lawyer at
Minneapolis, Minnesota.
The New York Commercial sincerely
trusts that Queen Victoria may not he
starved t. death in Ireland.
Some people seem to sing through
the nose Just To save the mouth 40
grumble with Waterloo Observer.
The Eimira Adoe tiser notices that
Young ladies IN charge of Il telephone
exchange are never talked to death
The Albany Timr>, speaking OF lady
ID that city, accused by her husband OF
biting him, says" SIZE loved him enough
TO eat him.
Between man and an orange pei
the Boston Post discovers little dir y
ence. Sometimes the man filings thn
peel into the gutter, and sometimes the
man Is flung INTO the gutter.
The Middleton Press asks: Does Il
man think tina, lie is strictly tenper..o
because he does not jfink any spir.:n-
GUS liquors, but eats With voracious
appetite to repletion. 30 that he be-
comes stupid IA II donkey?
Robinson (aiIer u long whist bout at
the club -" IT il awfulIy late, BrowA.
What will you say to your wife,"
Brown lin a whisper)-" On, l sbaut
bay much You know, Good morning,
dear. or something of that sort. Sine il
say the rest"
Rev. James Freeman Clarke suggests
that the wuri,. would be benefited l! All
tie newspapers, daily ahd We, lily, wore
to suspend tor one month. Then the
editors could go and ill the vacant pui-
pits. What u boom that would be Tor
religion. c numerical Advertiser
Mrs. Mulhcoley Was telling Bridget
o kerriKan ihat Jimmy, her husband,
lad ifospered finely siuce his arrival
IN this country that he "had six
cabs SIX scabs!" echoed Mrs.
q kerrigan; "fhure an he has .la
shmallpox, thin. = Norristown Hrr
aid.
Mrs. DETROIT, who has built chu,ch
in Newark, y W Jersey, at her own *
pense, has had IA clause put in the deed
to the effect that if fairs, festivals o.
other ntertainments be held therein,
the property shall revert to the Original
owner. 1t is supposed that The henov
client lady Lad, at +, me time, wrcsted
with II church stew.
Some papers are all tie while gush-
ing about the" devoted wives" of pop
ular public men. Judging from The
number of baid-headed fellows who
never beld office, we bet that the wives
o! private lie are Just as " devoted" ~
women who accompany their nob!.
husbands > to the prniien;iary or to the
White House. New York Graphic.
Sitting Bulls son was recently ir-
duced to sit for his photograph at Fort
Il lford. The young buck WAS verys u,.
plclous that HE came Ia was some Aiua
Of an inferna! machine, bat linallv con
scLtcd on condition that ho might sit
with his revolver in his hand, and at
the first sign Of danger shoot the artist.
The artist decided to take the chanc, .,
nnd tine c.,nlnet picture was the ,r
suit.
The Loadville Chronicle publishes
the following as AL actual fact: Rnt
! pass" said one Of our ministers last
Sunday, In diSmlssinB one theme Of his
subject to take mp another. Then
make 1t spades, yelled II man in the
gallery, who was dreaming the happy
hours away in an imaginary game "i
euchre 1t is needless. to say that he
went ont on the next deal, assisted by
one Of the deacons.