The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1880-02-21
VARIETIES.

The Boston Transcript SAYS that a |
womans bang is worse than her bite.
"A hYpocrite is man who tries to be
pious and can't, with preponderance
of cant.
"A Yankee railroad man has gone |
70 England to show 'em how we check |
baggage.
1t would be easy to learn foreign |
language if, as the Irishman said, sit |
could only be spoke in English
Smiths is a new phase of the name.
Charles E. Smiths appears in Balti-
more. Come, young man; one at a
time, if you please.
"A gentleman refusing an offer of
marriage during leap year is expected
70 present the young lady who proposes
with new dress.
According to the Standard the
bridgeport wind has got it's coat off.
What's that coat made of? Zephyr
worsted?-DGnburg Nes0s.
Neither man nor a woman is en-
tirely safe, until he or she can endure
blame and receive praise without ex-
citement. Modern Argo.
! What an American girl wants is a
"Will'' of her own, but a young man of
any other name is often just as accepta-
ble.- Philadelphia Chronicle.
The Dental Cosmos says that the
wooden toothpicks now so generally
used are an injury to the teeth and
should not be allowed a place in market.
"A boy recently hung himself be-
cause somebody found fault with
him." That boy was certainly not born
to be country editor Turner Falls
Reporter.
| A lady pointing to load of three
blles of cotton on her wagon yesterday,
remarked: "My Sal and another mule
made three bales this season. "-Atla,s-
ia Constitution.
French SGUa,ats are at last agreed
that the world is at least $50, 900, 900
years old, and it's no wonder that it
hurts boy to fall from the top rail of
a fence.-Free Press.
"A poet in an exchange writes over
the loss of kiss. He needn't mourn a
great while with such plentiful supply
of the raw material in the country
st. Adams advertiser.
The Hottentots have no regular
doctors. When a man falls sick they
make him drink all the cold water he
can, followed by all the hot water he
can swallow, and the rest is left to
Providence.
"A boy who won't take as big bite
as he can from another boys apple is
Disgusting his real feelings and should
be narrowly watched, lest he make a
sudden grab and run off with the whole.
Free Press.
Somebody has started the story
that when a young boarding school miss
was informed there were no gooseber-
ries for sauce, she wanted to know
what had happened to the goose
Rochester Erpress.
An Idaho fellow can invite girl to
take 350-mile sleigh ride. -Burlisg-
ton HGoOE-Ege. He can, or he can invite
her to turn handspring over wheel
barrow. There's no law limiting invi-
tations.-Bostoz Post.
"A South End man kicked so hard
at dog that his overshoe flew off and
knocked two teeth out of a ragman
who was looking on, and it cost the
kicker $40 to settle the matter. The
dog escaped.-BoSton Post.
Robert Collyer, in late lecture,
declared that a woman "who is not fit
for poor mans wife, as a rule, is not
fit to be any mans wife, especially in
land like ours, where no man knows
how soon he may be poor"
An exchange says that Queen Vic
toria receives $4,000 day. She's got
grapher. If we are ever induced to
change our business, we'll be Queen
certain. = Yoaakers Gazette.
In various parts of Turkey in Eu-
rope people are dying of hunger and
cold. The Bulgarians refuse to con-
tribute to the relief of the needy Mos
lens, claiming that the stories of their
suffering are mere inventions.
=" Professor Perry has devised
dispersion photometer." If it can dis
perse crowd quicker than man go
ing around with hat taking up col
lection, his photometer may be re-
garded as an overwhelming success
Norrsstoa0m Herald.
"A mans character may be so high
that his unsupported testimony would
send fellow. being to the gallows, and
yet he can't find more than one man in
| 290 who will believe his statement as to
the weight of pickerel he caught
Boston Post.
-Telegraphic instructions have been
sent to the COMMANDMENTS Chief of the
British naval forces in the Pacific, to
dispatch man-of-war to Lapez, Lower
California, in consequence of the late
disturbances there, which are regarded
IS liable to endanger British subjects.
"A sick woman at Westford, Wis,
believed she was bewitched by an old
bag who lived near by, and number
of superstitious women were of the
same mind. They took the supposed
witch to the invalid's house, read the
Bible to her and pounded her cruelty.
one of them using club. They are to
be tried for their assault.
The historic island of jamestown,
in the James River, where the first
settlers of Virginia made home, is re-
nortod RI haua hoan nuroha sad nv Mrs