Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1880-07-17
WAITS AND WHlMS.

IHR Motel keeper lives on hlH mn
come.
Ten cents won't make a mill between
pugilists.
Two heads are better than one. but not
on the same pin.
The battles ofthe union-flght between
husband and wife.
DID anybody ever see a little "pig
lead" out by the ear2
DOES not farmer become a cannibal
when he eats his own kline?
SINCE the foot produces sche-corns,
what kind of fruit will the negro.
The addage must be changed. Bread
always falls Oleomargarine side down.
.dAN can not add one cubit to his own
stature, but he can make horse stall
PLEASE pass the butter" as the man
remarked when he sent his goat by rail-
An apple threw the first man Since
then it has sort o let the business out to
the banana.
MEN with deaf and dumb wives possess
some advantage over their more unfortu-
nate brothers.
This farm for sale, subject 10 mort
cages and cyclones" is the way they now
hang out signs in the Southwest.
II the Government wishes to keep
colOred cadets out of trouble, it should
plant watermelon patches at West Point.
An Ithica man lost his wife and yell
low dog by one stroke Of lightning, and
he tried for q half day to revive the
dog.
THE Japs study political economy. All,
yes; We know what that is Five do!i,rs
directly to the voter is worth So spent
on fireworks.
Two church socials at Topeka, Kansas,
led to five divorces, one violent death and
several fights. Seems to be good place
Topeka quarrel.
Two French Senators meet: "I have
Just come from the Senate. The sitting
lasted three hours" "What passed.
Three hours."
JAMES H. GALLUP and Emma Canter
were married at Grand Rapids q few days
ago. Give 'em time and they'll make Q
spanking team.
A YOUNG Darwinian: Jack TO his mar
ried sisterH"Hi! Polly!! Look !! !!
Here's your baby trying to walk on its
hind legs ~"
"PLANT no flowers on my grave when
I am dead" she said They didn't. but
q SUD flower came up of its own accord.
Wasn't she foolish?
In the midst of life some men do all
the evil they can, and when they die the
papers tell lies about them at the rate Of
fifty cents per line.
WRINKLES are not always the sign Of
age. Look at the calf's neck. Or at q
corrugated stove-pipe elbow. Or at a
badly ironed shirt bosom.
APorHEcARY-"Yo You want this pre-
scription filed, sir, understand" Pat
nck-"Divil a bit Of it, surr! 1t is the
bottle / wud have filed"
IT is only the female mosquito that
bites, but when q man gets n chance to
belt one with . towel, he's going to do it
without stopping to inquire its gender.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON keeps two
cows and milks them himself. Some Of
his brightest thoughts have come to him
while being kicked half way across the
stable.
WHEN you SEQ . man sit down in q
BARRIERS chair, pin the newspaper round
his neck, and begin to read the towel,
you may put him down as absent
minded.
"WELL, Miss-takes will happen in the
best regulated families" as the old gem
tleman remarked upon hearing that the
tall and slender young man had stolen
his child away.
THE young Englishman, just over, read
to his wife the heading Of medicine ad-
vertisement- Gained eight pounds in
ten days." and remarked, "Hexcellent
wages, that, Mary"
HOUSEHOLD art decoration is what
takes with my boarders," said Mrs. Gil
dersleeve, as she made bread pudding
aud called her eldest daughter down
stairs to paint raisins on it
A LINE in Welsh poem reads: "M
gdnabi ch,Di ganu amfy rpyrtn PETE"
We advise Pete to do nothing Of the
kind. 1t would be injudicious Norris
to,cs Herald.
A MEDICAL writer asks: "Coes posi-
ton affect sleep?" It does, particularly
il the man is holding the position Of
night watchman. He Is liable to be dis.
turbed by the police.