Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1880-12-19
Hornets,

There Is an old woman on Cathar-
insstreet who delights to find case
that all the doctors have failed to
cure and then go to work with herbs
and roots aud strange things and try
to effect at least an Improvement. A
few days ago she got hold of girl
with stiff neck, and she offered an
old negro named Uncle Tom Kelly
fifty cents to go to the woods and
bring her hornets nest. This was
to be stepped in vinegar and applied
to the neck. The old man spent
several days along the Holden road,
and yesterday morning be secured
his prize and brought it home in q
basket. While he reached the Cen
trail Market he had a few little pur-
chases to make and after getting
some tea at grocery he placed his
basket on a barrel near the stove and
went out to look for beef bone.
1t was a dull day for trade. The
grocer sat by the stove rubbing his
bald head. His clerk stood at the
desk balancing accounts, and three
or four men lounged around talking
about the new party that is to be
founded on the ruins of democracy.
It was a serene hour One hundred
and fifty hornets had gone to roost in
that nest for the winter. The genial
atmosphere began to timber them up
One old veteran opened his eyes,
rubbed his legs and said it was the
shortest winter he had ever known in
all his hornet days. A second shook
off his leathargy and seconded the
motion, and in FIVE minutes the whole
nest was alive and it's owners was
ready to sail out and investigate
You don't have to hit hornet with
the broadsidezof an AK to make him
mad. He's mad all over all the time,
and be doesn't care a picayune
whether he tackles humning bird OF
an elephant.
The grocer was telling one Of the
men that he and General Grant were
boys together, when he gave sud
den start of surprise. This was fol-
lowed by several other starts. Then
he jumped over barrel of sugar and
yelled like a pawnee. Some smiled,
thinking he was after funny climax,
but it vas only a minute before SOL
emn old farmer jumped three feet
high and came down to roll over a
job lot of washboards. Then the
clerk ducked bis head and made a
rush tor the door. He didn't get
there. One of the other men who had
been looking up and down to see
what could be the matter, felt sud
denly called upon to go home. He
was going at the rate of forty miles
an hour when he collided with the
clerk and they rolled on the floor.
There was no use to tell the people
in than store to move on. They
couldn't tarry, to save en-. They all
felt that the rent was too high, and
that they must yacate the premises.
A yell over the cheese-box was
answered by war-hoop from the
showcase. A howl from the kero
sane barrel near the back door was
answered by wild gestures around
the show window.
The crowd went out together.
Uncle Tom was just coming in with
his beef bone. When a larger body
meets smaller one the larger body
knocks it into the middle of next
week. The old man laid around in
tue slush until everybody had step
ped on him all they wanted to, end
then he sat up and asked:
"aev dey got de fab all put cut
Some of the hornets sailed out OIL
doors to fall by the wayside, and
Others waited around on top of bar
rels and baskets and jars to be
slaughtered. 1t was half an hour be
fore the last one was disposed of, an6
then Uncle Tom walked in, picked
up the nest, and said:
''Mebbe dis will cure de stiffness il
dat gals neck, jist de same, but tel
you lie got banged, an bumped, an
sot down on till it will take a bull
medical college all winter long to gil
Lie so [ kin jump off street kyar !
!. ~.---ss----- 49, ga