Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1880-01-10
WAITS AND WHnMS.
MILLING notes-bank bills.

A STANDING invitation-get up.
ARE bits of advice presents of mind1
A CRACK company-a gang OF burg
ars.
A DEAL of money has been made on
the ryes in whisky.
WHAT'S the best joke of the. =
Keokuk Constitution. The, most ,cal OF
course.
A MANS ambition is to be credited
with some great feat, while q woman ls
ouly happy with small feet.
FEMALE DENTIsTRY.-"lts nearly
out; but my wrist is 30 tired that l
must really rest bit"
SMITH wants to know what good the
new French cable is going to be to peo-
pie who don't understand French.
NOTHING 50 quickly dries a woman's
tears as kiss.-Progrcss. DO you want
to set all the girls to crying2
AMERICANS wear more watches than
anv other nation. We have the system
of tick to perfection in this country.
PAwNBRoKERs should make good bill.
liardists. They play the three-ball game
successfully. ,o
a NEGRO at Little Rock has had 242
wens and warts cut from his body.
They weighed eleven pounds.
A FARMER asks the question: "Do
beets paw" In our experience We have
found that, usually, they do not; they
beat their way.
A Young lady attending balls and
parties should have female chaperone
until she is able to call some other chap
her own.
1T very frequently happens that the
girl who has the most bang to her halr,
has the biggest holes in the heels OF her
stockings.
DO they call the place In the church
the preacher speaks from the pulpit BE-
cause he tries to pull sinners out OF the
pit from that point?-Steubenratk Herald.
Now the mighty Nimro6 cleans his
gun, and goes to the field to have some
fun, steps on the trigger-his fun il
W." SINGLE man, sirr' asked the law.
yer as tie witness took his place. "Yes,
sir" was the reply. Lawyer-"Wife
| living?" Confusion and rapid explains
tiOns.
A CONNECTICUT woman sued q man
for taking off his hat on the street and
the Jury gave her Sc damages. They
don't put on any scollops in Connecti-
cut.
"DARL1Na Kiss My Eyelids Down."
is the latest moOnshine song, and he
kisses them up and down and crOsswise.
and then settles on her lips as q steady
| CS,JT,,0f>- T.,ynh>yxnUnx
The latest thing at church festivals 10
to eerve a search warrant with the
oyster soup. 1t doesn't aid digestion
materially, but it renders valuable as
sistance in finding the oyster.
IT is not strange that writers some
times get puzzled in their choice b.
tween f" that" (Which" and "who"
Relatives are always more or less trouble.
some Transcript.
The young lady who aspires to be ad-
mitted to the ranks of the legal profes-
sion, does not reflect that the gratifica-
ton of her ambition would only make
her bar-maid.
"YEsH, shee," said moral inebriate
to a tramp, "you want to 60 and swi!l
whisky" Well, yes, l did when !
asked you," was the reply, 'but Whit
of your breath has answered the purpose,
and Pm obliged to you"
Two-FORTY on the level" used to be
a slang phrase, and not . many years
ago." either. Now the horse that can't
trot a mile in less than 2:80, could
hardly be sold to drayman. This
world is progressing at 2 20 rate.
GIRLS, look outl 1t isn't always the
Young men who wear the sweetest smiles
and nearly break their necks making
earth pleasant for you during the court
ship season, who are the quickest to get
up of cold morning and build IRE
during married life.
TWENTY-FIVE thousand gold eagles
came over in one steamer recently. This
is the kind of bird We want to come
home to rOost
Mrs. FOOzLE Improving the occa-
sion)-"Is it not sad, my dear, about
your friend Mr.. Bufiles drinking 90
lately? Pm told his only excuse is the
loss of his wife," Mr.. Foozle (excitedly)
-"Only excuse-Only excuse, madami
And very good excuse, too. There
are many men who would be glad to
have the same excuse"