The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1880-07-01
humorous.
How She Got Noah.
Detroit Free Press.

Detroit Free Press.
a Detroit justice of the peace wa
the other day interviewed by woman
about forty-five years of age, who an
nounced that she would be married on
Il certain night at her farmhouse, and
his honor had been selected TO come
out and perform the ceremony. - She
asked how much the fee was, and paid
it and took Il receipt Business con.
cluded, she sat down, filled Il short
clay pipe with tobacco, and INDUCED
in Il smoke.
you won't flunkssout,on this ?" she
said, as she rose to go. After ex-
hausting the contents of her pipe.
ooh no; I'll be there, sure"
Soil l, and SOIL he, or III know
the reason why He's been clawing
off little lately, but I'll make him toe
the mark, see if l don't"
81 hope nothing unpleasant Will oc-
cur" observed the court.
q hope so too, but I'm going to be
prepared fo: scrimmage Just the
same. You always back the weaker
sex, don't you :"
Yves" softly replied the jus
tice.
$50 do I, and I guess we'll be all
right. Don't forget the da5e.
His honor went out last night pre-
pared to perform the ceremony with
promptness and goodwill. He found
about a dozen persons assembled at
the house, and the woman looked gOr-
geOus under the light of the kerosene
lamps. She had her pipe going, and
her face was covered with a bland
smile as she shook hands and said:
Take Il cheer. The old man isn't
here yet, but I'll send for him." Then
turning to a boy in the room, she con
tinued:
Samuel, go and tell the old man it's
time to come in and be spliced."
Samuel departed on his GRAND, and
after the lapse Of ten minutes he re-
turned and responded:
''The old man is over to Martins. |
He's got his boots off and is whiting |
out wooden cat, and l don't believe
he cares two cents about being mar
ried to you or anybody else "
The wi dow refilled her pipe, took |
several strong whiffs, and said to a
long-legged farmer who seemed hun
cry for the bridal feast:
Moses, you go oyer and tell Noah |
l want him. %
Moses departed. He was absent !
ten minutes, and then Iounged in and /
said
Says he is very comfortable where
he is. Guess he isn't on the marry
very much.
Judge" began the woman as she |
looked around for her bonnet, ''vou
play a game of fox-and-geese with
Moses while L go over and see about
this this thing. There's going to be a
here tonight, and III bet a
hoss-rake on itI,
She was absent about twenty min !
utes, and then returned in company
with Noah. He had neither coat nor |
hat ON, and only one boot and both |
were painting for breath.
"G-gO ahead, Judge" she gUsped, |
as she hurled the groom into the cen
tire of the room. "He heard me com
ing and got out and run four times
around the orchard, but here he is :"
fDo you want to TO marry this
woman ?" asked the official as he
gave Noah looking over.
"Yaas !" was the blunt reply.
''Then why did you run away ?"
"'SpOse I'm going to give in right in !
the first thing ?" demanded the indig-
nat Noah, I'm go and fix up and
come back"
''No, Darling; no you won't, my
pet amethyst !" chuckIed the widow.
'Well be married right here and now
boots or no boots! !"
She crowded him against the table,
Moses stood behind the pair to render
any needed aid, and the knot was soon
tied. As soon as the ceremony was
over Noah skipped out of the back
door, bnt no one pursued. The widow
called the guests to supper and re-
marked:
''Sit right down and don't worry
about the groom. I've been nine
years workin him up to this, but he'll
be a little bashfuI for few weeks to
come. Have some Of this roast, Mr..
Court.
A Peculiar Superstition.