Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-09-17

SWayS around mOmenI,
Like passing breeze,
Then he flies away,
Up among the trees
North Hero, Vt.
F. u n ~
TROUBLING A POSTMAsTER.-A Ian
tern-iawed young man stopped at the post
Office last Saturday. and yelled out:
:Anything for the Wattses 20
George Poteet, our polite Postmaster,
replied: ssNo, there is not"
ssAnything for Jane Watts ~
s'Nothing." s.,........ss
ssAnything for Ace Watts ?" 20
mo, sir.''
ssAnything for Tom Watts 7"
sNo, nothing" . a3eg3 .als
Anything for Fool Joe" Watts ?" :.
mo. nor Dick Watts, Jim Watts, nor
Sweet Watts, nor any other Wattses, dead,
living, unborn. native, foreign. civilized
or uncivilized, savage or barbarous, male
or female, white or black, franchised or
disfranchised, naturalized or otherwise.
No, there is positively nothing for any OF
the Wattses, either individually, severally,
Jointly, now and forever, one and insepa-
rable."
The boy looked at the Postmaster in as
Punishment, and said; ssPlease look if there
is anything for John Thomas Watts Pr
Ae1ieo Leader.
The minister stopped at house last
week, and sought to improve the time by
giving an eight-year-old boy an instruc-
tive lesson in morality. "My boy" said
the minister. II have lived forty-tive years
and have never used tobacco in any form
nor told lie, not uttered an oath, or play
ed truant, or - "Gimmy crickets," in
terrupted the lad, yer amt had any fun at
all, have ye?"
Mother says she'd like to borrow the
evening paper and quart Of Strawberries
for tea and little sugar to put on 'em.
Cause we've got company and must put
on some style.'' TASK the folks over,
company and all. Wen read paper -four
bag and MUNICH on crackers in the back
yard. Anything to accommodate" A
deadly fend dates from this simple CONVEX
sation.
A committee on tableaux at a centen-
NAL celebration in Vermont issued an in
vitation asking tall the pretty women in
town. to meet at the hall to take part in
the tableaux, and every women in the place
came to time. The committee knew how
to get plenty of help.
A heightened traveller stepped into the
temporary depot yesterday. and address
ing one of the employees, remarked: "Well,
this is enough to make mule laugh" The
answer was rather too personal, perhaps,
for the railroad man quickly inquired:
AWell, why don't you laugh if you want
to?''
The tree keeps its trunk in good order
during the winter 80 that it shall be ready
to leave early in the spring.-Neau York
World. And it always makes its bough
when it takes it's leave; do you twig9
A boy aged twelve years and girl of
thirteen were married the other day. I'm
Gle John says it was case OF children
plaving with matches.
Atmospherical knowledge is not thor
oughly distributed in the schools. A boy
being asked "What is mist?l vaguely re-
piled, IAN umbrella
An antiquarian has discovered that the
reason why the ancients took the owl for
an emblem of wisdom was because he
saved his talk and filed his stomach.
The Boston s'Globe" says that's promis
ing Young horse in South Boston has been
named DR.. Tanner, in hopes that it will
make him fast.
An exchange says: every few hens lay
at the point Of DEATH" Perhaps they
would if they could see the point.
ssYou see how bald am, and don't
wear wig.'' 'sTrue, sir, !" replied the SER
want. tan empty barn requires no
thatchIn
The Western papers tell of boy who
s'peered fatally in the muzzle Of shot
gun.''
An exchange says: $50 make good
monkey wrench, feed him on green ap-
ples.'
He who stops to pick q flaw in others
knitting work, drops many stitches in his
own. fs s4a
Rowell, the pedestrian, is writing his
biography. It will be in rather irunical
strain. ~
Some women were evidently born to
blush unseen, at least they are never seen
to blush. 49,,
A Rochester youth who was left $40 900
spent 81 600 on his first spre. He has nine
sprees left. ..a s5.~..
Better to, have loved short girl than
,never to have loved a TAU.