Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-14
Josh Billings Philosophy.

When a man goes into speckulashun
hs aims at better life.
Money neversmade man happy yet
tho use ov it may hav done it.
Ingratitude il the kurse ov Heaven
to pay man for hiz ingratitude.
Virteu may be its own reward, but O
man will stafve to deth on tho pay.
Yuag man, take the middle course in
life then yu kan hang onto both sides.
never hav known a man yet, ov
spotless reputashun, who waz an in
fidel.
He who il good servant, if he ever
haz an opportunity, will make good
master.
Tru charity liz born in the harte, il
edukated in the he'd, and graduates at
the hand.
The excuses ov you.A are mortgage
on old age, which hav got to be paid,
interest added.
The virtews hav to be cultivated,
while the vices will gro apace if yu will
only let them.
Pride and ignorance travel hand in
hand the more man knows the less
he liz sure ov it.
The original authors ov the day, are
thozs who kan make an old thing look
az tho it waz new.
Zeal and hipokrasy are often half
brothers, but don't sem 10 recognize
the relashunship.
Crate buty in a woman il mere sur
prise, her CRATE power lays in the good
ness ov her harte.
Idon't care how trivial the speciality
the man who haz no equal can always
make hiz power felt.
| Idleness makes man moro idle if
idleness sets on twelve eggs she il sure
to hatch them all ont.
A good reputashun liz the work ov q
Lifetime 4; man may bekum notorious
III 10 minnitts or less.
The power ov a sentance konsists in
the strength ov the idea, and the SIM
plicity ov the language.
:. The hardest man ov all to reclaim, il
loafer tlare don't seem to be emmy
place in him to begin at.
Time il mighty ; time ain long enufI
to develop its power in eternity its
grateness will he realized.
The true test ov piece ov wit liz to
see, in the fust place, if it il true, then
after that to see if it is witty.
Thare are but very flu men who are
buried beneath hi-prieed monument,
unless they pay for it themselfs.
Thare IL a CRATE deal of fastidious-
ness that IL merely cultivated, very
low order of hipokrasy, at best.
One ov the greatest tyrants in this
world Gin a small way) liz hen pekt
husband--when he liz away from home.
Wimmin doa't admire each other for
their buty in fakt it liz q little diffikult
to tell what wimmin do admire each
other for.
There IL such thing as o man :
knowing too mulch, and also too little
to find one who knows Just enuff liz no
eazy task.
hav often heard men try to prove
that ssch suckcess waz failure, but l
hav allwus found that result waz hard
thing to argy gainst.
Thare il lots ov people who call
thersselfs Christians, who are never so
happy and religious az when they are
passing round the hat.
Thare liz CRATE deal ov virtew float
ing around that liz nothing more than
prudence, and hav seen 1t that waz
nothing more than shallow cunning.
The happyest condishun ov married
life liz WHARF the partys each hav strong
and decided tastes, and study to make
those tastes agreeable to each other.
In the matter ov bringing up chill
dren, I notiss that thoze people who
never hav had emmy, kan tell yu all
about how the thing should be done.
Modisty and bashfulness look and
akt alike, but are as different az posi-
BILE, one is the handmaiden ov merit,
and the other the lackey ov Ignorance.
Thare IL plenty ov scientifick men
who hav allmest discovered perpetual
moshun, who couldn't repair a boy's
paper kite or windmill to save their
lives.
Whenever yu see a man hanging
around wimmiRs' rites convenshup,
anxious to run the concern, you will
find, either kussid phool, or plain
ded beat.
Piety il the only thing about religion
that amounts to emmy thing, but the
world are apt to rate mans religion
by hiz kreed, and the price he pays for
his pu in the church.
All famous men look the biggest in
the distance, and if they would preserve
their full size in the eyes ov the pub
lick, it il good plan to keep in the
distance as mutch az possible.
A modern professor would require one
theusa nd pages to deskribe light, and
then would be no nearer to it than when
he started. Moses Sod, "Let thare be
light, God sed, and thare was light"
Yung man, don't forgit this, yure an.
sestsr kant transmit one single virtev
to yu, nor one single ray ov wisdum
money il all he kan Civ yu, and whe
knows but what he got that dishonesty.
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