Morris tribune., 1880-07-22
ALL SORTS.
CREW ditties-Boat-songs.

DON'T borrow your neighbours news
paper. Like a toothbrush, every man
wants his own.
A NEW JERSEY colored man, whose
wife had left him, said: "She would
come back, If / frowed her some sugar:
but / amt frowin' no sugar, do You
| heahS"
THE burglar-alarm is q great inven-
| ton. 1t always warns the burglar in
season for him to get out of the way be-
fore anybody can shoot. a
A FIREMAN on Minnesota railroad
engine climbed out on the pilot, at the
risk of his life, and rescued man who
which mischievous boys had placed
| there. a
LAWYER c. (entering the Office of his
| friend DIR. M, and speaking in o hoarse
Whisper: "Fred, I've got such cold
this morning that I can't speak the
truth" DIR. M, swell, Tn glad that
it's nothing that viii interfere with your
business" .1 s.s-. = u.-
WHEN o mans wife comes in and sees
him razor in hand and with his face all
lather, and asks him: care you shay
ing 2" it's provoking thing in him to
answer: "No, Tn backing the stove,
but it's human nature to SO reply
| Boston Post. --....
| OLD PRosY-" What I say is this,
doctor: approve entirely of fox-hunt-
| ing as manly, health giving and invig-
Grating amusement, but not as pursuit,
sir" Irish doctor" Faith, ven find
many t agree with We there. Especially
| foxes" ........ .... ...,. -, ....
AT dinner she had doctor at either
| hand, one of whom remarked that they
were well served, since they had duck
between them. eyes," she broke in
her wit is of the sort that comes in
f1ashes-''and I am between two quacks. :"
Then silence fell. ...'-....
| The leaves of geranium are an ex-
cellent application for cuts, when the
skin is rubbed off, and other wounds of
| the kind. One or two leaves must he
bruised and applied on linen to the part,
and the wound will become cicatrized
in o very short time. ass.u
"MEN should not allow their wives to
split wood, says contemporary. This
is rather inconsiderate. How can man
refuse when his wife comes up with tears
i'll her eyes and says, "Now do, dear,
let me go down cellar and split wood for
an hour to get up an appetite
DURING the course of some excava-
tons and dwellings, which have been car
ried out within the historic lines of
Plevna by the Bulgarian Government
sixteen cannon and 10000 muskets have
been found, which Osman Pasha caused
to be buried before he surrendered to
the Russians. .-.
THERE is man at Luray, VT, who
became convinced, when young, that
kissing was wicked, because Christ was
betrayed with a kiss. He resolved
never to kiss anybody. He has been
married twenty years, and is the father
of eleven children, but has never kissed
his wife or one of his offspring.
AN Illinois gentleman counts among
his treasures, and very rightly, too, q
quaint old ambrotype of Abraham Lin
coin. It shows gaunt and awkward
man of 81 seated In an old -bottomed
chair, and dressed in well-worn dark
clothes, with an old-fashioned stock, and
his uncombed hair standing out in all
directions. +.@ "
A NICE distinction-Hou to
milkman-"M My friend, you put water
in your milk sob, no I don't, ma'am. F"
"But 1 am sure you do" sob, no,
ma'am." CHOW will you say solemnly
that you do not put water in your
milk ?" "Well, ma'am, well, I must
say that sometimes I put some water in
the can and then put the milk in that,
but never put water in the milk
| A CERTAIN painter was Dragging of his
wonderful command of color to friend
one day. His friend did not seem to
take it quite all in. "Why," exclaimed
the painter, "do you know that there
are but three painters in the world. sir,
who understand coIor?" '.And who are
they ?" at last asked the friend. "Why
sir, am one, and-and- and-I forget
the names of the other twov
! THE Cars bedroom In the Winter
Palace, it is suid, communicates by a
subterranean gallery with the Fortress
OF SITS. Peter and Paul, SO that, in case
of need, he may reach the fortress in a
few minutes, and be In perfect safety
The room of Emperor Paul L was pro-
vided with similar secret passage, but
he was not quick enough for his assas-
sins, who murdered him on the thresh-
old of the passage. I'D. ....a
HIcKoRY-NUT CAKE.-One cupful of
sugar, one-half cupful Of butter, one-half
cupful of sweet milk, two cupfuls of
flour and one and one-half teaspoonfuls
of baking-powder, well mixed, one large
cupful of walnut meats, one large cup
full of raisins, whites of four eggs, yelks
of three eggs; beat butter and sugar to
1 1,n <Nf 4I1aa
beaten, then the flour and milk -four
them in; lastly, the whites of the eggs
beaten to.a stiff froth. Bake in pans to
j slice or. cut in blocks. ! When baked,
make a frosting, mixing in one-half cup
| full walnut meats, and pour over.
/ EATNnE was sent to the grocers for a
pound of mild cheese. In few min
utes she returned, crying as if her heart
would break. 'tWhat is the matter, my
dear 2" asked her mother, somewhat
alarmed. 8 don't care-they are real
mean" she answered. "Who?"
4 e Why, all of them; they all laughed
at me-the clerks and every
body" Laughed at you, my child
why, what did you ask for?" 81
asked for pound of calm cheese" she
said, between her sobs. The fact was
that Emmie had learned that day at
school that mild " meant " calm, and
the first chance she got she used the new
, word.
DRACo was the author of the first
written code of laws at Athens, which he
is supposed to have published in the
7 fourth year of the thirty ninth Olympiad,
621 B.. @. He was of distinguished birth,
honored for his severe manners and his
large experience in public affairs, and
the people of Athens, prey of anarchy,
besought him to give them a code 81
laws. The system which he proposed
linked together civil and moral duties.
He took the citizen at the moment Of
his birth, prescribed the manner in
I which he should be nourished and edu.
Gated, followed him with directions
through the different epochs Of life, and
Aattered himself that he should make
Il n \ q A FwV4