The Portland daily press., 1880-04-23
The Two Robinsons.
Corr. Sacramento Union.

The annoyance caused by the sameness or
similarity of names was largely shared by the
late Horace Greeley in respect to two politi-
clans named Robinson, if 1 remember Alright.
They were both from this State, both Members
of Congress-one a Republican from the Buffa-
10 District, the other Democrat from the
Brooklyn District. They were frequently con-
founded by the public and press. Even the
Tribune, which then had night editor but
slightly acquainted with politics, intermingled
them frequently. This provoked the wrath
aud disgust of the chief, who believed any
journalist not possessed oil every political fact
included in the history of the country for at
least 40 years to be totally unfit for his posi-
ton. Again and again the night editor pre-
sented the M. C.'s in delightful bewilderment.
He would have the Republican voting for a
Democratic measure, and the Democrat max
ing Republican speech, not once only but re-
peatedly. In fact, he rarely failed to make a
mess the Washington dispatches sofar as
the Robinsons were concerned. The effect Of
these continued blunders on Greeley's mind
may be imagined by those who knew him,
though they can scarcely be conceived by per-
sons unacquainted with him. They worried
him exceedingly; to use his pot expression, they
aroused him at times to decree OF mild, per
haps justifable profanity. lie undertook to
instruct the obtuse night editor in the respec-
tive politics of the Robinsons, and frequently
thought that he had been successful in inn
parting a ray to the Arctic night of his mind.
He would say to somebody in the office, "Well,
guess I've made--see at last that no sane
man can be sincere Republican and vio-
lent Democrat at the same time, hope he's
got it through his thick skull that there can be
two distinct Robinsons in the United States"
and when he had begun TO congratulate him
self ON his conquest of dense ignorance, he
would again see in his cherished Tribune the
Republican Robinson voting among the ayes
on strictly Democratic vote and the Dem
ocratic Robinson. offering thoroughly Re-
publican resolution. Then Mr. Greeley would
groan; declare that if he had hair enough
to pull, he would tear it out; and tell
the managing editor that they must get
rid of that illustrious nincompoop; that idi-
lots mightanswer on the staff generally,
but that to keep so incurable an idiot for
a night editor was ruinous. And then, in
the native kindness Of his heart, he would re-
frain from discharging the man, knowing that
he would find it hard to get another situation.
One morning Greeley, who had been off lee
turing somewhere, returned to town, and, un-
able to buy Tribune on the cars, got another
paper and discovered that the Democratic Rob-
inson was dead. "Im glad of that he said
to an acquaintance beside him. THAT fool of
night editor can't get the two Robinsons
mixed up any more. 1twas absolutely neces-
sary for my peace and for the existence of the
Tribune that one of these men should die, and
I I'd little rather it would be a Democrat"
Very soon he found copy of the Tribune, and
opened it to read the obituary of the Demo
crat. Fancy his dismay and distress when he
read there the obituary Of the living Republi-
can, written by order of that illustrious min
compoop and idiot-in-chief, as II. G.. put it, of
the New York Tribune. He groaned more
deeply than ever, but was silent. Words were
powerless. 4 - i2 ti .-