Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-06-04

my dear, don't be alarmed, but there are
burglars about. They have already stolen
our keyhole: / had TO get in by the cellar
window !'-B0Stoa Courier.
/ A Young pastor who has recently had a
sen born to him notifies Il brother pastor
as follows: Unto us cllld Is born /;
unto us Il son il givcn.-ls. 3: G. 1t
was written on a postal-card. The re-
ceiver showed the message to a sister in
his church. All, yes, said the woman
after reading it. 1T weighed nine pounds
! and SIX ounces
Rreaihes there the man with soul 50 dead
Who loves not new-baked gingerbread:
Who, stepping through The kitchen door
On baking day. sees goodly store
of fragrant, umber-shadOwri cake.
And-half unconscious docs not break
A ragged chunk All tooihsnme bliss
lie Is a churl who knows not this.
For him no pracilstd dexter wrist
Shall limp inciricnt dOughnuts twist.
Or stir. 10 COAX his gOurmand taste,
Dreamy merlngue and raky paste.
Though he may live on Non HIS tip
And hold his gold with mlsers grip
Though he mas own the whole long list
OF winners board by cobwehs kissed
May dine from Scvres, drive i cart
Aud sit on decorative art
Despite his gastronomc books,
Despite his whl:e-cappcd Glc caok',
The wretch, concentrated In his pride,
Shall live and est-unsatisiied
shall snufi his farthing rushg.it out,
The stern recorder Of the skies
Against the tombstone's gilded lies
Counting the virtues OF the dcaN
Shall write, ''He loved not gingerbread :"
Our Club-SIember bursting into card
room 9 a. m.) "Oh, waiter, have You'll
fancy last night | must have dropped
! fl pound" Waiter Here 1t is, sir,
sing lar thing sir-see If under the table
directly come into the room, Lucky
/ got here first before any o the mem
beers, sir 70
John Williams, a merchant at Rntledge,
Ga, sued desperate. The fellow en-
tered the store i'll furious passion, held
out the summons in one hand, clutched
long knife in the other, and said
"Williams, have you sued me-? VII
liams knew that an immediate Yes
would make him sure of Il stab. Let
me get my spectaclcs, SO that | can read
the paper" he said. He went behind
the counter and came back, not with his
glasses, but with ali axe across his shoul-
der. Yes" he said, 81 Eavo sued You.
'.All right. remarked the Desperate, Il
guess I'll pay the bill.
"Are you a Home Ruler?' was asked
of one of the candidates at the late cleo
tlOl. A VOICE from lHt bach stals MI
swered, "No, but his wife is
"When l was once in danger from
| tiger" said all old East Indian veteran,
Il tried sitting down and staring at him.
as had no weapon" ''How did 1t work -
asked by-stander Perfectly, the tiger
didn't even cfier TO touch me. Strange
very strange How did you account for
it?" "Well, sometimes I've thought that
it was because | sat down on n high
branch OF very tall tree"
A school teacher, who had Just been
telling the story of David, ended with
'And all this happened over three thou
sand years ago" A little cherub, its
blue eyes opening wide with wonder, said,
after moments thought, ''Oh dear,
marin, what memory you have got y
Small boy (entering shop 81 want
pennyworth u canary seed. shop
keeper (who knows the boy ''Is it for
your mother?" Small boy tcontemptu-
ously) "No it's for the bird.
When John Nonigrip's wife asks for
dollar or two for current demands, he
smiles sweetly as he says, True love
seeks no change
| Tie Providence Press tells of Il lady III
| tbot citv who after nttentiyely examin-
ino n bust in n window eaoerly incurred ::
ssAnd who wns this Terra Gotta any
way?"
Nistrcss-"Who were You talking to,
Jane?" Cook-"Onlv my eldest brother,
mum. He's-he's in the perlicc" Mis-
tress-'Indced What is his name =
Cook-"John Smith, mum" Mistress
But vour name is not smith" Cook
mo. mum but YOU see, hc's-hc's bin
married.!
A "Capit.l" Punishment. I.andladv- --
''Lor' n mussy, Mr.. Brown, what's the