davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
----r@----------------l
Old Maids.

A sensible writer expresses his.
opinion Of old maids in the, following
manner: am inclined to think that
many of the satirical aspersions cast
upon old maids, tell moro to their
credit than is generally imagined.
Is young woman remarkably. neat
in her person, she will certainly be an
old maid. Is she perfectly reserved
towards the other sex, she has all the
squeamishness of an old maid Is
she frugal in her expenses and exact
in her domestic concerns, she is cut
out for an old maid. If..she kindly
humane to the animals about her.
nothing can save her from the appel[
lation Of an old 'psai.l,n In ishort, L,
have always found that .neatnsss,.
modesty economy and humanity, are
the falling characteristics Of
that terrible crealure-the old maid.
1t is no doubt a terrible thing to be an
old nsid, but so long as men drink
rum, chew tobacco. smoke cigars anil
act like beast aud 70 is. it is not tho
worst thing that can happen toila de-,
cent woman. Indeed. we should not
have to hunt very far to find plenty Of
women who are not old maids, but
who would give all their boots and
shoes ii they were; and who in bitter
ness and sorrow lament the day when
they silffered'thc yoke to be placed
upon their necks, which is grievous
and hard to borne. tr
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
Frank and Jesse James.

Hon j. A. Dacus, Of St. Louis.
the we'll known editor and ex-Mem-
Der of the Missouri Legislature, has
written a carefully prepared Life and
Adventures Of Frank and Jesse
James," which has been issued by
the well known publishing house OF
N. b. Thompson 4 Co., Of that city.
Mr.. Dacus we are informed, spent two
years in the preparation of this work,
much of which time was with tho
family and friends of the James Boys,
whose friendship and confidence ho
gained, and who gave him all the
facts concerning their antecedents and
ancestry as well as the facts concern
ing the almost numberless robberies.
dashing raids and vengcful murders
committed by them during the 20
years of their career in nearly as many
states and territories. The book is
tho most startling record ever made in
history. The careers have no parallel
in the history of highwaymen. Bold
and dashing to degree that seemed
reckless to personal danger, yet they
have never been apprehended during
this long period though rewards to the
amount Of $4,000 have been offered
for their arrest, dead or alive. Tho
book is sold BY 81 description, and we
are informed by the publishers that
2l,0OO have been sold in four months.
Agents are reaping rich harvest
with it. We advertise it in another
columa
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
The Next National Senate.

The control Of the United States
Senate, after the 4th of March, 1881;
is well-nigh as problemaical as the
occupancy Of the White House. The
Democrats have small majority now
but the elections this fall may reduce
that majority to a tie vote, or even a
minority. The terms of tho twenty.
four senators will expire next March,
and the State Legislatures to be chos-
en- in October and November will elect
twenty of their successors, four, in
Virginia, Rhode Island, Mississippi
and Ohio having already been chosen.
The Senators whose terms expire III
March are Booth Of California, Eaton
Of Connecticut, Bayard ofsDelaware,
Jones Of Florida, Mcdonald Of Ind,
Hamlin of Maine, Whyte Of Mary
land, Dawes of Massachusetts. Nc
MILAN Of Minnesota. Bruce Of Mis-
sissippi, Cockrell Of Missouri, Paddock
OF Nebraska, Sharon Of Nevada, Ran
dolph of New Jersey, Herman Of New
York, Thurman OF Ohio, Wallace Of
Pennsylvania. Burnside Of Rhode Is
land, Bailey OF Tennessee, Maxey Of
Texas, Edmunds Of Vermont, Witbers
of Virginia, Hereford Of West Virginia
and Cameron of Wisconsin. Gen
Burnside has been reelected for an
other term of six years; Gel. Malone
succeeds Senator Withers; Gen. Gar
field has bren elected to Senator Thur
mans seat, and Democrat has been
chosen to succeed Senator Bruce lsep)
OF Mississippi. In SIX States, where
the outgoing Senators are ! amocrats,
the result may be classed as doubtful
These States are Indiana, New York,
| New Jersey, Connecticut, Florida and
! West Virginia. Maine and Califor-
MIA may also be put down as doubtful
States. but their present Senator's are
Republicans. Should the Republicans
secure even six Of the twenty Senator'S
yet to be elected, the Democratic ma
| jority is hopelessly broken, and hence
we may expect the most strenuous ell
orts, by both political parties to cap
turc tho Legislatures of the eight
doubtful States. Indeed. this strug'
gle for The Senate is hardly less i'm
portant than the contest for the Presi'
dency The party that is defeated il
the Presidential race will, il it succeed'
in capturing the Senate, find therein :
great deal oil consolation. Either and
both of the prizes are so great that the
struggle will be wonderfully intense
Waco Telephone,
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
Bashful Men.

We never saw bashful man who
was not the soul of honor. Though
such MAY blush and stammer, and
shrug their shoulders awkwarlly, un-
able to throw forth with ease the
thoughts they would express, yet com
mend them to us for friends. There
are fine touches in their character
which time will mellow and bring out
perceptions delicate as the faintest tint
is to the unfolding rose; and their
thoughts are none the less refined and
beautiful that they do not flow with
the inipctuosity ofthe streamlet. We
are astonished that such men are not
appreciated--that ladies with really
good hearts and cultivated intellects
will reward the gallant Sir Mustachio
Brainless with smiles and attention
because he can fold shawl gracefully
and handy compliments with Persian
clegancy, while they would not conde-
scendto look upon the worthier man
VINO ieeis tor them reverence SO
great that his every glance is worship.
he man who IS bashiui III the pres
ence OF ladies is their defender when
the loose tongue ofthe slanderer would
delame them; 1t is not ne " who boasts ,'a,t OF
c'hquests or aares 10 taiK OF lee,ihSS
tnat exist IN the imagination alone;
ms cheek VIII Hush with resentment,
ms eyes wili hash with anger 10 near
the name OF woman coupled with a
coarse oath' YET he would die TO defend
'hem Is least hohoreu py the female
sex. whoever m heard OF oashiul
iloertihe! Inc anomaly IS never seen.
Ease ana eiligahce are MS requisites;
upon MS lips sits hattery' ready 10 pay
court TO piue eyes ana olack; ne is
never n1nplnssed; ne never binshes'
ror glance ne is III rapture lor q
wore ne wouid pro'esseuiy iay uowh
Ms me. let u Is nc VINO Nus "ens
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
Forfeits for Fun.

A list of amusing forfcits, which
will make tho company laugh and
not offend the persons called upon TO
pay them, are herewith given:
|. Put a newspaper upon tho floor
in such way that two persons can
stand OIL it and not DO able to touch
each other with their hands. By put.
ting the paper in the doorway, one
haltinside and the other halt out.
side the room, and closing the door
over it, the two persons can easily
stand Upon it and still be beyond
each others reach.
2. TO go out of the room with two
legs and come in with six. Not diff.
cult if ono thinks to bring q chair
along on the return,
3. To act the dumb servant. The
person who has the forfeit to pay
must act out the answer to the ques.
tions put by the master OF ceremonies,
as "Iow do you make bread2p How
do you eat soup?" etc. This foriei,
will cause much merrimcnt If proper
questions are put.
4. Put one hand where the other
cannot touchlit. One can get out Of
this difficulty by putting one hand o.,
the elbow OF the other arm.
5. Place a pencil Oh the floor Sc
that one cannot jump over it. May
be done by putting it close to the
wall of the room.
6. Put question that no one can
answer with mo-" This not hard
II one thinks to ask, "What doei
y-e-s spelly"
Z. Put yourself through keyhole
This was great puzzle 10 us fol
awhile, but when II Q word "your
sell" was written on paper and push
cd through the hole.it was all clear
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
GARRETTSBURG.

We have heard Of several flags be.
ing erected in honor of Hancock and
English, but of none for "dat dar
Gdrfsh."
Tobacco is growing very fast, and
some is large enough to top. There
is great complaint of worms
We had very good rain a few
days ago.
DR.. j. N. Mctcalf, who retired
from practice few years ago, has
commenced practising again at the
urgent request Of his friends and
patrons.
One man gave three others good
ilogging here the, other day.
We would liked to have been
at Humdurgin to have heard Mr..
Bill Rogus deliver his eloquent ora
ton.
Barbccucs, picnics and brandances
are all tho go down here. We learn
that the picnic at Parish's Grove
was success.
Two negroes were tried here last
Tuesday by Esq. Pcay, for fighting,
one was fined 7.50.
A prota acted meeting commenced
at school house near Mrs. Weavcr's
last Sunday. 1t is conducted by Rev
| w. 9, Harris and Brother,
Trade is very dull in our village a,
present.
What has become Of the Belleview
correspondent?
D.J Metcalf is running like 0
scared rabbit for constable.
Manson Giles has quit farming and
is running against D. j. NJ.
The August election is nearly a,
hand, and there has been already three
fights about it.
The community is very healthy.
The South Kentuckian is a vel.
come visitor to this section, every
citizen of our community should sub
scribe tor it.
PorAro.
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
TAE SOUTH KENTUCKlAn..
ADVERTISING RATE.
Wanted to Jine the Army.

st. Louis Globe Democrat.
He wore a long duster, carried a
gripsack in his left hand and a faded
gingham umbrella in his right, and
walked right into the cavalry recruit
ing office on Pine stree. yesterday
morning as, ii he had come on particu~
lar business and couldn't fool away
any time. Placing his traps on the
tlool he renewed his hat, addressing
the Sergeant, lsaid
"ls the army full?"
well, not all OF it; the part that
has been paid is propably pretty full
by this time, ,"replied the Sergeant.
winking his wunks as rapidly as hc
uttered his words. But the joke was
thrown away on the would-be WARRIOR
He said he wanted to lime the army"
He had heard agreat deal how Young
men of good moral character had
climbed up the ladder Of fame, step BY
step, until they got to be Colonels Or
Corporals, and he thought that if he
had chance he might do very well.
He was tired Of working on a farm,
and pined for excitement. He wanted
to know if he couldn't enlist right off
for some position as an officer He
could furnish good recommendations,
etc. lie wanted to put his name right
down Tor all office in moral company.
commanded by moral Captain, anil
Il moral regiment, and askrsthc Ser
geant TO do him the favor to name
such company and regiment, where
they didn't use tobacco or drink, and
were accust 1med to attending divine
services; and then he didn't want to
90 to a company where there was
much workor fighting; he didn't like
to fight; it was against all his moral
training, and if there was much work
to 10 he was afraid he wouldn't ,havo
time to read the Bible.
The Sergeant informed him that he
had been in the army some years. but
he had never heard Of the kind of
company he was talking about, yet
there might be some, but that the only,
one who would know it. would be the
Adju'ant General at Washington. to-
whome he would write, and if there
was,a company Of that kind AMI a
vacancy in it, he weuld try to secure
it for Inc, but he doubted il there was
a vacaIlc,
Tho Sergeant remarked to him that
he was u better recuit for the Saliva
tion Army than for the regulars. and
after giving liiur the necessary inforl
nation as to where the headquarters
Of, this new army could be fannd. he
departed, saying that hc reckoned that
was the army he would Zine = H II
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
N THE WRONG CLOTHES
Mark Twain Wrestles With In
oongruous Underwear.

Mark Twain, in his new book, call.
ed "Tramls Aboard" tells how par.
ty of tourists got wet and what they
did when they came back to the no
tel: We stript and went to bed and
sent our clothes down to be baked; all
the horde of soaked tourists did the
same. The chaos Of clothing got
mixed in the kitchen and there were
consequences. did not get back the
same drawers | sent down., when our
things came up at 6:l5; l got pair
on the new plan. They were merely
pair of long white ruffied, cnffed
sleeves, hitched together at the top
with narrow band, and they did not
come down to my knees. They were
pretty enough, but they made me
leel like two people. and disconnected
at that. The man must have been
an idiot to get himself up like that to
rough it IN the Swiss mountains.
The shirt they brought me was short.
er than the drawers and dadn't any
sleeves to it.-at least il hadn't any
more than Mr.. Darwin would call
rudimentary sleeves: these had edging
around them, but the bosom was
ridicuously plain. The knit silk un-
dcrshirt they brought me was on a
new plan and was really a sensible
thing. 1t opened behind and had
pockets in it 10. the shoulder blade;
but they did not seem to fit me, SO ]
found it sort Of uncomfortable gar.
mcnt. They gave my bobtail coat to
somebody else, and sent me an ulster
suitable for giraffe. Ihad to tie my
collar oD, because there was no button
on the foolish shirt which l described
a little while ago.
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
a squelohed Orator.

The other morning young man
who has long boarded with Con-
gress street lanlylatly, was asked 10
stop into the parlor tor Il private in
terview, and when tire old lady had
him cornercd, she began:
Mr.. Blank, you have boarded with
me for long time, and never before
have Ihad occasion to find II word OF
fault.
Faultto find with me? Why what
have | done?
Well, every night for an hour after
you come in, and every morning for
an hour before breakfast, we all hear
you tramping around and talking
about war and liberty and death and
so OH, and some oil my boarders fear
that you have taken to drink.
oh, can explain all Of that, he
cheerfully replied, am TO deliver a
Fourth of July Grafton out here in n
country town. and am getting my
speech ready.
Is It necessary that you should de.
liver this speech?
Why, no; but | consider It great
honor to be invited TO speak.
II wish you would give 1t up, sht
faltered.
But for what reason? I'm afrait
you don't Understand me. s"
Oh, yes l do Il know oil about it
Last year seven Of the young men IL
my house went out to deliver Fourth
of July orations, and ats o'clock il
the morning all were lying dead
drunk on the hall floor. VI cours'
love liberty, Mr.. Blank, and alway'
have extra boiled eggs and ice-watel
on the fourth, but you have no idci
how had these oralions are on hal
carpets and stair.sods. If you've go
to go, | wish you'd make arrange
meDis to have the police run you IL
for the night.
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
GIVEN AWAY.
List Of Premiums to be Dis
tributed to our 'Subscrib-
ers at our 2nd. Annual
Distribution.

Encouraged by the success of sim,
liar undertaking last year, we have de-
ter,nined to distribute a number OF
valuable premiums among our sub
scribers next fall. Every CASH sub
scriber will get a ticket in the distri-
button and have an equal chance at
the premiums.
Those who have already paid for
the paper can get tickets by showing
receipts. sisy 2
We have selected the premiums
with care and offer nearly three times
as many as we did last year. AS
will be seen from the list below there
are thirty prizes, ranging from eighty
dollars down. slsb
l. A No. l Two-horse ii
Wagon, made by NJ. G. Forbes $50.
.. A MOL Whites Sewing
Machine. $50.
8. An elegant Silver Tea-set
Of six pieces from J NJ. Howe, $50,
4. One gents Saddle, made
by j. A. B. johnson. I. $40.
5. A genuine 3 or. Silver
Watch, Waltham movement,
from Jas. L, Wahl. ...... $40,
! 6. South Bend Chilled Plow
from Winfree & Hart. ..... Sl5
I. Oliver Chilled Plow,
from G. G.. Shanklin.. ..... Sl3
8. Improved Dexter Corn "a +
shelter, from NJ. Gregory Il Bro. Sl2
0. Silver Butter Dish, from
Robert Mills. Jr; ......... $40
10. Solid Is karat Gold
Ring, from Jas. L. Wahl. =. $40
II. Extra Large Farm Bell.
from Winfree & Hart. ....... $40
II. Double Plow, manufac-
tured by Moore & Edmmds. $40
l3. Silver Cake basket, from
Robert Mills, Jr,.....,..... IS
IA. Set of Table Spoons,
from j. NJ. Howe,. .....s.. So
! Is. Gold Pen and Holder,
| from j. NJ, Howe. -. So
JG Eor,,;no, Knifa and EOrk
from q A TLomnson AS
q, ,r. ~, A.
L! iin onamocr oe'' 'hrce a.
pieces, from G. A. Thompson. 70
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
WEST Mt. zoAR.

News in this locality is very scarce.
The protracted meeting has just
closed, resulting in one hundred and
five conversions.
Picnic and brandance at Kelly's
Station last Saturday.
Married July the 9th by Rev. J..
w. Boyd Mr.. Richard j. Lacey TO
Miss Mollie IIammons, both Of this
place.
Prof. f. A. Rails has a good school
at this place.
Miss Mary Woodbridge. of Earling-
ton. Ky, and Miss Lizzie Wool
dridge, of Springfield, Tenn, are yis-
iting friends and relatives near here.
Dick.
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
Father is Getting Well.

My daughters say. "lIow much
better father is since he used Hop
Bittcrs." lie is getting we'll after
his long suffering from disease de-
clared incurablc, and we are so glad
that he used your Bittcrs.- lady ol
Rochester, N. Y.
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
CoLuMnus, Ca, April l2, 1878.


DR.. c. y. Moffett-Dear Sir-My
wife and myself are satisfied that the
life of our teething babe was saved by
the use of your Teethina (reething
Powder), when other remedies had
tailed to relieve him. We have
been delighted with the specify and
permanent relief given one of our
children from severe attack Of Cholera
Morbus, Teethina is indispensable to
us, and should be kept by all parents
having small children. 'a lt p
Respectfully, etc.,
JESSE B. WRIGHT, 81
Foreman Enqui-er-Sun.
For sale by Gish Il Garner.
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03
Guilty Of Wrong.

Some people have fashion Of con-
iusing excellent remedies with the
large mass of t'patent medicines, lamb
in this, they are guilty Of a wrong.io
There are scme advertised remedies J,
fully worth all that is asked for them, !,
and one at least we know of-Hop
Bitters. The writer has had occas--
ion to use the Bitters in just such
climate as we have.most Of the year
in Bay City, and has always found
them toubc first.class and reliable,i
doing all that is claimed for them.--a
Tribune. asl fpao
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03

Evansville has population Of not
quite 10000.
New Hampshire had an earth
quake shock on the goth,
The steamer bringing the Egyptian
obelisk has arrived safe in New York.
The south Kentuckian., 1880-08-03

A Missouri girl dressed mp as boy
and went out as farm hand, aud
they never found her out until she
carelessly let them sec that she could
thread a needle without pricking
every finger and swearing like dep
uly sheriff.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-06
RETAIL.

RETAIL.
OAHU Lame X Co, Esplanade
6 Chung Wa, Nuuanu street, Honolulu
Z Ho Til Hong, Punchbowl st,
IL Sen Hong, cor King x Alapai SITS,
II a w Richardson, cor Fort X Merchant SITS,
II Quong Sam Kee & Co, King street, Honolulu
II We Hop Co, Nuuanu street,
II Hop Cllong, Nuuanu street,
Is W Akau, Nuuanu street,
10 William Ing Fooe, cor King and Maunakea
streets, Honolulu
10 G Vest, King street, Honolulu
81 Ckun Sing, Queen street,
81 DIV Clark, Merchant street,
MAUI &C Bennett, wailuku
10 Ahoi X Co, Lahaina
10 Lum Sun, Wailuku
IL Chung Hoon * Co, Waikiki
u Nee Shu Il Co, Lahaina
HAWAII G w c Jones, Keauhou, Kau
. C X Hapai, Hilo
6 Wal Ong, Hilo
s Puuloa Ranch Co, Waimea
Is ING Teng & Chum Sun Choy, Holualoa,
% LAhio x Co, Honomakau. N KohaIa
% Z W Bartels, Honoapo, Kau
80 L Akamu, Punahoa, Hilo
KAUAI-Is o Scholz, Lihue
II Goo IA, Hanalei
WHOLESALE.
20 C Brewer & Co, Queen street
VICTUALLING.
u Nee Shu & Co, Lahaina, Maui
13 AXE, Kahului, Maui
II Hop Chong, Nuuanu street
II NJ Miranda Smith, Nuuanu street
Is Chung HOOn * Co, Wailuku, Maui
10 Asiu, Onomea, Hilo, Hawaii
BILLIARD.
10 S E Ford, Waikiki, Maui
SHIPPING.
% Henry J Hart, Honolulu
I c Bertlemann, Hanalei, Kauai
10 J sylvia, Waikapu, Maui
- " J Martin, Lahaina, Maui
% J n Wright, Koloa, Kauai
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-06
Department of Foreign Relations.

BE it known to all whom it may concern that CHUN
FoNG, Esquire, having this day presented to this Depart
ment his Commission from Their Excelleneies Chen Ian
Pin and Yung Wing, His Imperial Chinese Majesty's En-
voys in the United States, which is found to be in due
form, he, the said CHuN FoNG, Esquire, is hereby ack-
nowledged by order of His Majesty as Commercial Agent
for the Chinese Empire in the Hawaiian Kingdom, and
all his official acts as such are ordered to receive full
faith and credit by the authorities of this Government.
Given under my hand and the Seal of the Foreign
81 Office at Honolulu this 18th day of Feb
rnarv. a. i. 1880.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-06
JNO. NJ. KAPENA,
Minister of Foreign Affairs.
fe213t

UNDER and by virtue of the authority in me vested by
Chapter so of the Laws of 1873. entitled an Act to amend
Section l of an Act entitled An Act to authorize the
Minister of the Interior to take possession of whatever
land and water may be required for the use of the Homo
lulu Water Works, approved on the 18th day of August,
1850, and amended by an Act approved on the 18th July,
1874.
Notice is hereby given that the several owners and
occupiers of the several lands and parcels of land men,
toned and specified in the schedule hereunto written are
required to remove or cause to be removed on or before
the 31st day of March now next ensuing, all cattle, horses
and other animals depasturing or being on the said lands,
and to keep the said lands protected from cattle and
other animals, the waters on the said lands being re-
uuired for the purposes of the Honolulu Water Works.
Schedule of Lands above referred to:
Iii of Opu-Haumakaawe, Poloke, Maunalaha, John lis
Pawaa or Kanaha, Kalawahine, Kaakaukukui, Kaiwioka-
thu, and such portions of Kewalo as lie mauka of Be-
retania street.
AMI q. Minister of Interior.
Dated at Honolulu, Feb. 10th, 4. D. 1880. feb21
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-06

~ The location Of the auction sale Of horses.
carriages, Sc, on Monday next. wi. be at the Hs-
waiian Hotel Stables.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-06

81 Miss Zoe Gayton, the present manageress
Of the Royal Hawaiian Theatre will take n benefit
on the evening OF Thursday the lith inst, at that
theatre. and will produce a monster bill Of attrac-
tons for the occasion. DO not forget The date.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-06

THE WATER-SrRINKLERs.-Theo utpourings Of the
aqueous fluid from above. have compelled the
streetsprinklers TO remain housed during the last
three weeks, and no assessments have been levied.
When the occasion requires, these useful articles
will again return to duty.