New-York tribune., 1880-04-04
THE PHILOSOPHERS BABY.

/ had been considering IOr aDOub year
whether l should marry Winifred Hanway,
when I heard that she was engaged to the
Philosopher. Why did she accept himT 1t Is
true that he is both imaginative and critical,
but faculties exercised in the formation OF psy-
Geological hypO.heses and the labOrlOus de-
struction of those of ones neighbor do not
usually rouse the sympathy of bright ana
beautiful girl, who is more fit to live tlan.to
think about life. He is certainly handsome,
but as certainly his clothes are barbarous. Ills
trousers cannot keep their shape for day. ana
his hats are never new. IT he notices the ram,
he Opens an umbrella which might have served
as an Intellectual protection at the time OF the
Deluge; if he finds out that it is cod, he as
sumes garment which might have been the
everyday coat of Methuselah. His manners are
as strange as his appearance. He may often
he seen walking in the Park at the fashionable
hour with a far-Of look in his eyes, aud lis hat
thrust back as if to lessen the external plessure
on his active brain; more rarely you may hear
him bursting into enthusiasm IN riccaailiV,
though Piccadilly is the last place in which il
man should allow himself TO be enthusiastic.
In short, though he is true friend lie s all
uncomfortable acquaintance ana ms voicah'c
uterances, after long peii"as Oh c;s' o's ron.e n
rould he conveyed to the Sunday citizen by
tbe eruption of Primrose Hill. But if it was
odd tiht the beautiful Winifred ~ llanWGiAi %i'i
sh9ald miA maEyA MS MSfy fryI any one. There were no
topics more certain TO excite an explosion in
the philosopher than the excessive population
of the county. and the wholesome solitude Of
the Thinker. How he wOtld fiPrcey ask,
sean man think etltctIally on fundamental
subjects, who is compelled by the dcspicable
circumstances OF his life to exhaust his analyti-
:. cal faculty in considering how to pay his
butcher and wien to buy his cOa's2 | tell you,
air, it's better to stalve with cold aud hunger
thau to debase ones nobltst part to game of
skill with gIasping grocer" Again and again
had heard bim declalm in this prepoetcrous
fasiiOn; and after all, he was going to the
aitar like any other victim, and would doubt
less take house upon lis back with theidociltv
OF a suail
i could not solve the problem; would not
give il up. so, full of the determination to
drag Diogeres ont of his tnb, and the secret out
Of Diogenet stepped TGTnd fian the corner to oer
study apparently writing, really eating quill
pen. He rose at me with rush, wriIDg my
hand till it ached. and blusled rather uncom
-fnrtatay. ,Gongratnla,ions are the curse of the
BIitOn. Whether he is Offering them or re-
ceiving them, he is generally Obliged to take
refuge in intermittent handsiaking, and most
Of his sentences tail of into grunts and groans.
Bat on this occasion it was evident that the
philosopher had something ready TO say, and
was nervOusly anxious to say it. Indeed bad
hardly slid more than Ny dear fellow, don't
know when Irealy am SO awfuly glad,
I. it's in every way so, such a saiisfae,
/ posSsible and ali that sort of thing. you know"
4 when he burst in with speech SO fluently
4 livered, that | knew | was not his earliest
8 si,nr that morning. s"Of course It's taken
!, N bv surprise" he said, "as knew 1t would;
ut the truth is, that have been thinking Of
= for a long time, and am sure am right"
\ here tried Ia get in ar expression of wonder
. :. his new notion Of duty, but he was bent ON
ing rid of the matter, and hurried On to his
easOns. In the first place." raid he, II am
sure that, instead of increasing my domestic
body to my wife; and, secondly, when con-
Z eider the vast number Of fools who are every
DAY born into E tue thN world, am terrified by The
lMctnre OF what 'ne next generation will he, If
6 iihe thinkers OF tins are to be without sue
icrssors." Having discharged his reasons i'm this
fwike tho orator stood blinking at me az if he
afeared dissent, but was too astounded by his
n 5magniicent audacity to reply. Slowly a look of
& apeace stole back into his face, PLEASANT GgIi
5ssdaWned in his eyes, and the promise of a smile
played at the corner Of his mouth; His rcmHrI-
able geHGy was Soy fT"e when he s"S h
Z kou don't know what an angel she is" A LIGHT
3 broke i'm upOn me. "PhOsOpher," | said, i I
! Believe you are going to he married because Won
4 He'll in lOye9" ~Perhaps you are right" said
ssl.,A After the wedding, the philosopher and his
II WITS went abroad for an indefinite period, and
bheip friends heard but little of them He
Il tyIote 10 nobody, and she did rot write TO me-
skYet fRerc were Occ siOnal rumors Now they
kS,trD breathing the keen air of the Engadine
now sinking to the ches.nnts and vines of
4 Cmay0nna now he was lashIng himself to
afrcpzy. over the treasures of Rome; now she
Vas gazing with sweet northern eyes across the
k.0wing sp'endOr of the Buy Of Naples. Then
Elsy werc in Germany, ana about to settle for
Il llfe w. university town; but anon had fled
from Il in haste after long nights dispute, in
Il the course of which my learned friend had we'll
\ Aixh come to blows with the university's most
X ct.ebrated professor
|Ek AZ last | heard that they were again III Lon
L Nop, and full of enthusiasm, dartcd round the
Euraer.t0 welcome them home. Nobody was
4 Ki1h them out Mrs. hanway, WInifred's mo-
Il Lev. | would enter unannounced, and surprise
I he philosopher. / enter. d unannounced, and
Il MA sarprised myself. Was this the Cffsct of
/ tonnimony or of foreign travel7 Each occn-
/ eAnt OF the room was engaged In an exercise