The Osceola times., 1880-08-07

distress. was too much for my bodily
frame, ] was stricken down to earth, as
by giants hand, while standing beside
my fathers grave, and | remember
nothing more until months aitorward.
when | found myself the occupant of
ward in an insane asy lum. | bad been
mad-raying mad
Nv reason, however, returned as sud-
denly As il had been impaired. and my
recovery was very rapid. | need not
say how eagerly turned to the thought
OF Alice. and how | rcioiced even then
in being permitted to suffer for her sake.
| knew IL was for her | had endured
this loss Of reason; | was sure that il
was only by MY total oblivion OF self
that she could I've strangely imhued with
the light that was in me; and the thought
that she had been receiving all Of which
! had been deprived WAS solace 10 my
heart.
As soon as regaincd my strength |
hurried To Dublin, aud words can not
describe my emotion "a | reached the
abode of my own Alice. As | entered
the drawing room her father rose 20 re-
ceive me kindly and cordially, but my
feelings overpowcrei me, and turning
TO Alice, who sat beside him engaged in
needle work, madly clasped her in my
arms. But she had forgotten me! An
ger flashed in her eyes, and her cheeks
burned with offended delicacy as she
tore herself from my embrace and fled
TO her father for protection. Would that
| could forget the agony of that bitter
moment. To my hurried explanation
and my earnest appeal she listened as
To the rawlings of mailman. She had
lost all memory of our former union,
and anger and terror were the only emo
tions | could excite. Her father, fear
iul of the effect OF the agitation on both
of us, drew me into another room and
informed me that Alice had been very
i'll soon after my departure, and that she
had recovered from a severe attack of
fever, perfectly sane and quiet. But she
was like one awakened from deep and
drcamless sleep. The past had no re-
membrancc; she was a creature only of
the present, and in her calm. cold col
lectedness of manner and her almost
stern reason no trace remained of her
tender and erratic faucies. Horrible did
all this seem to me; methought we had
| exchanged souls-the firm, unshrinking
spirit which had once led me to the cold
regions of speculative science was now
her guide. Fearful was the thought that
| had thus lost my own identity; doubiy
fearful the knowledge of my own trans
fusion into another's soul could never be
recognized. My birthright-my noble
heritage of my soul and mind-had been
given to another. | had dared to assert
the privileges of higher order of beings
and | was punished.
Her father dreaded the effects Of anv
attempt to revive in the mind of Alice a
remembrance Of the past. He felt crate
ful to me for her restoration, and would
gladly have repaid me with her love
| but he dared not risk .he recall OF heI
former tenderness. lie entreated me to
let it depart like dream, and to suffer
her to be ruiCed by woman's fantasy
in her affections. | promised and |
tried to keep my word. Alice was in
| duced to believe that my recent aberra-
ton of mind could account for my
| strange familiarity when we met, and as
TO her fathers friend she forgave me
| But she evidently regarded me as u per.
feet stranger. My task was done-she
was fully awakened into intellectual life
but she was no longer portion of my
| self
There has been sympathy between
| her darkened spirit and the soul which
was imparting TO it life and light; there
was Joy between us, and hope, and a
sense OF double existence, which makes
the essence OF immortal love. Now all
was changed; | had trdnsiused into her
nature my own high gifts; | had lost my
own spirituality; had become all earth
ly, else why did yearn with such pas
sionat' longing for one touch of her red
| lips, one clasp of her soft hanu2 She
possessed my nobler soul, and there re-
mained TO me but faint spot of that
ethereal fire which had once outshone
the human passion.
1t was weak and vain, yet was fool
enough to seek her love, and WOO her as
men WOO the women they would wed,
sued her with gentle word and loving
looks and courty batteries. ] crushed
| the wild emotions of my bosom and
| bowed amid the crowd of her admirers.
Why did she despise my homage? Why
did she not feel for me the deep unlock.
ing reverence which ever minglcs in n
woman's love? Why did she look with
half contemptuous pity on the passion?
! Was it because her sex ever sCorn the
weakness they create, and know not
! how to be, at the same moment, tho idol
and the worshipcr? No! II was be-
| cause | was degraded beneath my fellow
men; | had lost all that could elevate
me above them. He who could win aud
| keep a woman's love may give her his
| heart of hearts il he will, but never let
| him admit her TO the sanctuary of his
soul. What then could | hope when
the gift of lay inmost spirit had been
the first Offering that was laid upon the
altar?
| sought to make Ahce love me, but
the hope was futile. Her intellect had
ovcrmastered her womanly nature, and
in winning the firm reason and decided
will of man, she had lost the gentle
weakness of her sex. asked her to be-
come my wife; she refused my suit gen
tly but firmly. Maddened by the eX-
citement of The moment, | poured out
the full tide Of long-repressed emotion.
told her of our former communion; !
described the gradual development of
her dawning intellect; | depicted the
slow outgoings Of my spirit as 1t was
transiused into hers; | prayed her, as |
would pray high heaven, to recall some
memory Of the past. 1t was all in vain;
the past was gone forever. She looked
on me as a madman. and shrunk from
me in terror. | never saw her again.
After this stupor fell upon me,
which rendered me insensible to out
ward impressions. NY mind became
clouded like a mirror, over which the
damp and mildew of long years have
gathered. images were reflected there,
but they were distinct in the outline
only. The present and the past were