Morning journal and courier., 1880-10-23
CHARGES AGAINST GARFIELD.

| question for students of Biblical history: Did Ham carry a razor ?-BOst0n Post. A Brooklyn girl wanted to know the mean | ing of all the talk about ''taffy for revenue" 1 -Neao York HeraEd.
 It is the conductor of the Pullman palace
 car who is to-day keeping alive the sectional | issues in this country. Burlington Hdock- | ege.
 e'Never mistake precipitation for inspira- tion," said an old minister in his charge to young pastor just being ordained.-B0St0aa HerGld.
 A lady told General Schenck that a friend had given her five vases, and somehow the General didn't seem to understand, for he re- marked that it was fraud-there were only four in the pack. Boston Post.
 The day after the local nominations were made vessel arrived at Galveston from New York with two hundred barrels of low grade whisky. It is not often that the eternal fit ness of things sticks out quite that much.- GaEoest0e Neaos.
 "Old age," says the Pdrenol0gica1 Maga- zine, ''is invariably accompanied by promi- nent chin" The lady who does not put up her hand to her chin upon reading this para graph may safely conclude that she is still daisy, if not a dumrling-N. r. Com. Ad- 0ertiSer.
 'tAnnie" said fond husband to his wife, ''what were the current expenses for last month p ''Oh!" she answered, s'only twenty-eight cents'' ''Why, how was that?" ''Well, you see only baked cake twice, and therefore used very few currants ''-Ner2de7 Recorder.
 The Albany Express says that an exquisite divine in that city, who is up to all modern refinements, recently distinguished himself by his manner of putting the finishing touch upon wedding ceremony. When he had thrown the chain of Hymen around the hap
 IL 1. .JaI anNry pronounce you husband and lady"
 Pat-''Och, Bridget did ye niver hear uv my great spache afore the Hibernian Socie- ty p Bridget-''No, Pat how should IF for shure I was not on the ground" Pat s'Well Bridget, you see I called upon by the Hibernian Society for 6 spache; and, be jabers, I rose with the inthusiastic cheers of thousands with heart overhowlng with gratitude, and me eyes filled with tears, and divil word did I spake. "-Sa7e Frd7a. cisco W0sp.
 ''What that coffee all gone !' ''Yis, mann, there isn't blessed drawin' left in the box" What four pounds of coffee used up in our small family in one week?" Small family? Musha, thin, mann, there's two of yez and the maid, and there's me and my foive admirers, who has aich a night to his self, an how ye can make a small family out of tin O us is beyant me intirely. don't know what yell do whin I come to fill in tn other two nights O the week wid young men wanting a sup O hot coffee to keep the chills away" -Chtc
 A young man of about thirty, dressed in stout clothes and having fist as hard as iron, stood around the City Hall for nearly an hour as if waiting to see some procession pass. He finally seemed to get little discouraged and accosted a policeman with the inquiry whereabouts do you keep your politics in this ?' ''Oh, they are lying around Ioo hn marching around, nor hear any whoops and yells I haven't heard a single hurrah for either candidate since l got here" '1t isn't time yet. The pot won't begin to boil before the 1st of October" 'I'm from Ohio, I am'' continued the stranger. 'I'm visiting an uncle out here about six miles, and I've walked in to-day to see how the land laid. One of the neighbors out there was telling me last night that things were more than billing around here. He in town only two hours, and he says he saw four ward poles cut down and over dozen fights Haven't heard of no such action,' replied the officer EsWell I'm considerably disap- pointed I haven't missed a campaign in ten years, and it's poor day when l don't wollop two or three of the opposition. Then it will be about three weeks before the meat begins to fry ?'' "Yes, about that" ''Then I s'pose I'll have to wait, though it seems like long time Do you think that 8 masher who could break up torchlight procession pitch a speaker on the stand and saw down ward poles, could get job here next month ?" II guess so." '1hen I'll lay for it. I'm here on visit, as said before, but if can turn an honest penny I'll do it. strike with both hands, and when l hurrah the op- position turn pale Here's my name on this piece of paper, and if you can work me into such job I'll be much obliged and take care not to mash any of your chums. I feel just like picking up the leader of band and breakinp his back on a hitching post. Don't be backward about recommending me, for both parties in Sandusky will make oath that Pm caravan with four elephants in the pro- cession ''- Detr0tt Free Press.