Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-02-16
REFLECTIONS
From the "Record-Union's" Mirror of the
Press

Press.
Somebody advertises a preparation for
keeping lady's hand free from chaps. A
report that she has no money would do
the same thing.
An old-man in Virginia jumped into the
we'll to spite his wife for running him in
debt. She let him stand in three feet of
water ice-cold until he agreed to deed her
the whole farm.
Mrs. Darlington (solus)- Well, 1 de-
| clare Here's an ingenious young man who
has invented an arrangement by which the
deaf can see and the blind talk. Such
talons as his should be recognized by stat
ute and metal, and his name descend to
prosperity surrounded by an immoral
| fame"
! You can't fool a Eureka girl. When her
fellow F" rises from his seat in the theater
between the acts and says: ssPll be back
in moment" she dazzles him with one of
her most reliable smiles, and pulling him
back with the remark, +" brought some
with me, coyly slips into his Gand pinch
of cloves or roasted coffee.
A Carson hen has a peculiar way of lay
ing her eggs; she does not promiscuously
uiOP thCui Ou Vic Sicuuuy VI tuAh opOuU
| like some low-bred fowls and eat them
her teeth, and going into the nearest bed
room, puts it on the floor, leaves her daily
deposit there, and instead of cackling like
ordinary barnyard fowls till she nearly
splits her windpipe, walks demurelY up to
her husband. informs him of the result of
her mornings labor and requests him to
g. -
voice.
A prominent Granger from the western
portion of our county, in conversation with
some Auburnites the other day, was boast
ing Of his Berkshire hogs. What are
they? What kind of hogs are Berkshires q
asked two or three Auburnites in chorus.
{. Don't know what Berkshire hog is q
said the Granger "we1l, I'll tell You, so
you'll never forget, and when you see one
you'll knowit A Berkshire hog is black
all over, with a little white in the face,
white feet and exactly twenty seven white
hairs in the end of its tail. "-[Placer
Herald.
The eccentricities of the English Ian
guage, are thus shown up: did you
make the train % asked the anxious ques-
toner. "No," said smarty, 1T was made
in the car shop" g mean did you catch
the train?' with slightly embarrassed
manner. "Of course not; it's not
Infectious was the cute reply.
"Well, you darned fool, did
you arrive at the depot in time ?"
"No, you Internal idiot, arrived in a
barouche." ''Great heavens % shouted
the questioner, did you board the cars:"
"Jumpin Jerusalem p howled the smart
man once more, "you know don't keep
boarding house"
The scientists have at last investigated
the bean, and have found out just what
Judge Knox or any other old forty miner
could have told them any day since the
spring of 80, l. e., that it contains more
nutriment according to the space it occu-
pies ia the original package than any other
article of diet. The verdict of the Boston
Convention of Scientists, who have been
sitting on the bean for some months, is as
follows: ''One pound of beans will
support life in action as long as four
pounds of rice. Two pounds of beans
will help do more muscular work
than three pounds of wheat, and
more brain work than three and one-half
pounds The reason why beans require
stronger powers of digestion than wheat is
that they contain casein instead of glutin.
The brain work of Boston is now accounted
for. Let our forty-niners continue to sail
in serenely on their favorite diet of pork
and beans, unmindful of either Moses or
Pythagoras. / Virginia Enterprise.
Robert J. Smith, of the Parlor Chop
Stand, and j. ]. Gum, of the saloon IN
which the stand is situated, yesterday
Monday got into a discussion as to how
high a number man might throw with
three dice three throws each) in given
length of time, when Smith offered to
wager Gum $50 that he (Gunn) could not
beat 46 with months throwing. The bet
was promptly taken, articles of agreement
drawn up, etc., and Gum began throwing
this afternoon. 1t is stipulated that Gum
may throw l6S hours 1.-THE full number of
hours in week, counting twenty four
hours to the day., divided into six hours
per day, provided he shall not be more
than one calendar month at it, and he is to
complete his three throws each time-that
is, if he should throw only three, he can
not abandon that throw as hopeless and
begin on the next, but must throw the
other two throws to it, thus completing
the three, whatever the result may be.
The leading sports in town are excited
over the wager, and are engaged In figuring
on the percentage; but they are divided
upon the question of the probabilities, and
the chances are that should Gum not
make q scratch and beat 46 within the first
few days of the throwing, thousands of
dollars will change hands on the final re-
suit odie Standard, February 10th.