The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1880-01-13
THE SPIRIT OF DEMOCRACY
TUESDAY, JANUARY Is, 1880.
Jones Takes Care of the Baby.

OVhco IhkeS care OF the baDy.
"lt seems TO me. said Jones TO his
wife, who was walking around the room
with the baby in her. arms, ''that womrn
make great deal of unnecessary fuss
about putting child to SLEEP. Now, /
would chuck him into bed, and let him
tquall it out
1T seems to me-" said Mrs. Jones,
quietly, '.tbat all men are born idiots. !"
Jones couldn't, for the life of him,
see W ,at that fact had TO do with put
ting the baby to sleep, but he wisely held
his peace. - - 44AN
Tue next evening Mrs Jones came
into the sitting room, where Jones was
reading the market reports, and said:
81 am going down to mothers after
that recipe for yeast. Baby is asleep;
but if he should wake,J l presume you
could put him to sleep again-men are
SO handy with bahi.s." 82G
"All rightl "I'll put him to sleep
again in less than no time; run along,
my dear,p said jones, cheerfully.
Mrs. Jones vanished and. jones re-
sumed his paper. 60.
Soon after his wife's departure Jones
heard little premonitory grunt from
the vicinity Of the bed room.
"Hullo! what's thatf he reclaimed,
as he assumed a listening attitude
He soon found out, for the juvenile
member of the Jones family set up a
series of yells that would have done
creditto 9 prima donna. &
Jones dropped his paper, rushed into
the bed room, seized his offspring and
carried him wrong end up back into the
dining room. gesg ~ s
The suddenness of the attack, and the
unusual positions SO astonished his haby,
ship that he forget to scream for a few
seconds; but when Jones righted him
up, aud offered bim d pair OF sleeve but
tons for playthings, Johnny shut shis
ewes, opened his mouth, and began again
with renewed vigor and determination.
Jones abandoned the sleeve buttons,
and tried to "cuddle" the baby up after
the maternal fashion, bat the baby stern
ly refused TO s'cuddle up:p and with a
degree Of energy for which Jones was
wholly unprepared. and which evinced a
total lack of respect for the "author of
bis being Johnny grabbed the paternal
whiskers with both hands and howled
louder than ever.
Jones released himself smoothed his
cherished whiskcrs, Deposited his heir
on the sofa, retreated to safe distance,
rubbed his face carefully, smiled in a
vague kind OF way, ss if he didn't
know exactly where the fun came in, and
wondered "what the dickens Maria
would do under similar circumstances.
Baby put his fist into his mouth, and
looked as if be wondered what his pa
ternal ancestor would do next.
aTbere. now" exclaimed Jones, i'm
mensely relieved, "he spapa's pity title
sonny, 30 be is.'
sSonny" promptly resented this by q
long-drawn yell, that struck terror to
the soul of his dIsmayed parent
Jones was at his wits end. He grew
reckless. He whistled to that baby be
sang he made faces; he cut a series of
antics that would have driven a balle,
dancer mad with envy; but all to no
purpose Baby had evidently taken o
contract to furnish so much yell in q
given time, and was bound to do the
square thing
When Mrs Jones returned, she found
o MISUNDERSTANDING man wandering
around the house, with a baby on one
arm, while with his disengaged hand he
wiped the prespira;ion from his manly |
brow with the tail end of the baby's
night dress.
SssIt seems to ma," remarked Mrs
Jones, as she took the baby, ''that men
make great deal Of unnecessary fuss
about putting baby to sleep. Now,
L."
The front door closed with . bang
Jones was on his way down street to
esaso q man -