Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1880-04-23


ly he cantered round, ever and anon frisking
like lamb in spring time, until he reached
my feet, which were rooted to the spot with
astonishment He glanced up sideways, rose
with n cry to the normal attitude of man,
and grasped me by the hand At the sound
of his voice, his wife, dropping the paper
from her hands, raised them quickly to her
hair and his mother-in.law, with as much
dignity as the effort would allow, scrambled
on to her feet. Then in an instant the cause
of their eccentric conduct was made clear.
Throned upon the hearthrug, and showing,
by a gracious smile, few of the newest
teeth, sat tho baby of some fifteen months.
In one dimpled fist was tightly clenched the
brush, which had so neatly arranged the mo
ther's braids while the other was engaged
in pounding the grandmother's best bonnet
into shapeless mass.
We were all somewhat embarrassed except
the baby. The ladies knew that they were
untidy, and that was an intruder. As for
the learned father, he stood now on one leg
and now on the other, while he shifted the
waste paper basket from hand to hand, and
continued to smile almost as perseveringly as
his amiable offspring. Yet it was he who at
last put an end TO our awkward position by
expressing a wild desire to have my opinion
on the new curtains in his study. Rather
sheepishly l. said goodbye to the lady
of the house, trying to express by my
eyes that l would never call again unan-
nounced / knew that Mrs. Hanway had not
forgiven me, as | humbly took the two fin
gers which she offered and I felt like a brute,
as the most important member of the family
condescended to leave damp spot by the
edge of my left whisker.
When, however, l had been swept down
stairs by my impulsive friend, aud was alone
with him in his den, my courage returned,
and with it some indignation | confronted
him, and sterny asked why | had not been
told that he was a father Not been told p
echoed he ; do you mean to say that you
did not know about the baby "Not so
much as that it was" | answered gloomily.
He was overwhelmed; of course he had sup
posed that every one knew it from the Queen
downward. OF course fifty people ought to
have told me. who of course bad told me ev-
erything else. At last my curiosity got the
better of my indignation, and l cut short his
apologies by beginning my questions-"D Does
the shape of its head content you = | asked.
The shape of whose what z" cried the phil
osopher, apparently too surprised for gram
mar. "Of the baby's head, of course, l re-
piled tartly; Il merely wish to know if the
child is likely to be as intellectual as you
hoped" Isn't the hair lovely Z" he asked,
nconsequently. This was too much, and AS
sumng my severest manner delivered my
self in this wise u thought, though no
doubt | was wrong. that Me use of baby TO
you would be partly to furnish you with raw
material for a philosopher, partly to enable
you by constant observation to guin further
evidence bearing on such veXcd questions as,
whether the infant gains its ideas of space by
feeling about, whether it is conscious of it
self, etc" We'll" be said, laughing, II
don't expect much help from my infant in
those matters, unl,s | can get inside her and
think her thoughts" Her thoughts - cried
| in amazement you don't mean to say it's
girl Good gracious you are not going
to educate female philosopher Z" He look
ed rather veXed. ''Of course it's girl, he
said. The father of female philosopher -
gasped. Dear me :" said he. rather testi-
ly isn't it enough to be the father of "a no
BILE woman z"
Now | have often put up with great deal
from my learned friend, and am quite aware
that have been spoken of as "Bozzy" behind
my back. But there is a turning point even
for the worm, and nobody will sit forever at
the feet which are constantly kicking him. |
had been snubbed more than enough by this
illogical parent, and assuming my most sar-
castle manner, | inquired, with an appear
ance of deference-"Is it not rather carly to
speak Of your daughter as noble woman =
had kept aloof from the philosopher for
some weeks, nursing my wrath, like Achilles,
/ said to myself cross as a bear, l overheard
my landlady say in the passage-when re-
ceived a hasty note begging me to come to
him at once fancied myself summoned to
a council OF chiefs SO, having dOnned my
shining armor, left my tent with fitting dig
nifty, and descended with a clear clang into
| the plain. Yet | could not but be aware of
my landlady's eye piercing me through
the crack of the parlor-door pur-
posely left ajar, and of the hasty tapping Of
| loose slippers which told Of the startled slav-
| ey's flight into the abyss below.
An unusual silence held my friends house
that morning The door was opened, before
had time to ring, by melancholy footman,
who, walking before me with the elaborate
delicacy of an AgRg noiselessly ushered me
into the study. 1t was my lot to be again
rooted to the spot with amazement. By the
book case, in shaded corner of the room,
with his head bowed low upon his hands,
knelt the philosopher Here was a long step
from the siege of Troy, from the simple
wrath of childlike hero to the most com
plex embarrassment of AN heir of all the ages.
| What should do? The dismal menial had
fed to the shades, without word, without
even glance into the room. If retreated,
|
norant of the cause of his st 'ange conduct.
II advanced was again the intruder on a
scene not prepared for my inspection. In an
| agony of hesitation / fell TO brushing my hat
with my elbow; but not finding the expect
ed relief in the occupation, / WAS about to
desist, when my hat decided what my head
could not, by falling with a crack on the
floor The effect was electrical Without
one glance at the Intruder, the philosopher
made grab at the nearest book shelf, drag
ged out a volume which had not been touch
ed for half a century, and hunted for nothing
in its pages with frantic eagerness, He was
still at it, when l stood over him and noted
without wonder that he'd the book upside
down then with the poorest imitation OF
surprise which have ever seen, he rose and
grlsped my hand. "You found me on the
track of something" he said II was look
ing it out in-in-"
Here it occurred to him that he did not
know the name of the venerable tome which
he had so rudely disturbed; and with q
sudden change Of manner he turned quickly
toward me and said, MY child is ill.," ! felt
positively guilty. l had been angry with
that baby for making my wise friend foolish,
for not being boy, for being called "a no
BILE woman Was it not shameful that q
great hulkiug brute should sneer at a veal
thing that could not even answer with taunt
Were not my clumsy sareasms enough to
crush so delicate plant? The poor little
noble woman" was in danger and l coulo
do nothing to help her. There were tears il
the eyes which were looking into mine fol
comfort but had nothing ready to say.
II could not stand being alone, he NUT
tered, after a short silence "the doctor il
with her now, and in moment may heaI
that my little daughter muslin fact may
hear the worst"
Willie he was speaking l seemed to have
fifty cOnsoling remarks to offer but wheI
he stopped, no one sentence would disengagt
itself from the rest. What blurted out a
last seems almost ridiculous as l look bach
ON it.
.,You must hope for the best" | said