The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-08-28

I'm sure if hadn't been blessed with the
disposition of an angel, it would have been
completely ruined by those children.
Well, one day Cousin Jane went away
went with my advice and consent, and
volunteered my labors in the home service.
To tell the truth, was very glad of an op-
portunity of showing Jane how to manage
those unruly juvepie-, for, excellent woman
that she was, she never, thought, under
stood family government. Now l prided
myself on being quite disciplinarian, and
it was with feelings of the greatest compla
cency that watched the auttering Of my
cousins brown veil as she disappeared in
the distance. "Eh," thought I, "now will
show them how this family government
may be reduced to SYSTEM" was in an an
gelc frame Of mind, when overheard
james, aged twelve, e&claim, "I say, Kate,
mothers gone, now won't we have high
old time? Here goes !" and turned just
in season to see the young scapegra6e jump
to the third shelf Of the cupboard, and make
a dive at the sugar-bowl while Katie, two
years younger, more quietly helped herself
from pot of preserves. As nearly as / can
remember, should think it occupied about
| four seconds of time for me to sleze both
those children, shake them into submission,
and locate them in chairs at opposite corners
Of the room, with injunctions not to move
hand or foot for fifteen minutes,
The other children, save the youngest,
were at school, so l took my knitting and
sat down, Just little 1ustered by my recent
conflict. There was a dead silence, inter
rupted only by the clicking of my needle,
for had put veto on all communication,
by word or sign, between the two offenders
l sat there congratulating myself upon the
admirable success Of my theory carried into
practice, when a cry from the cradle called
me to its side. The baby had walked, and
manifested desire to be taken. Down
went my kutting work, and up came the
child but upon noticing that its mother
was not, and was, tending it, the infant
Immediately struck up such a screaming as
| never heard or dreamed Of, before or since.
l coaxed and pettcd-I sung, "Hush, my
dear, lie still and slumber," to the tune of
Greenville, and l sung everything else that
could think Of, mixing up Mother Goose's
Melodies aud Isaac Watts in a manner any
thing but reverentiai to that dlYine-I rock
ed 10 and fro with astonishing violence-I
searched for hidden pins fruitlessly-I iela-
ted the bewitching anecdote of the three
little kittens who lost their mittens, and l
filled up all the Intervals talking baby talk
after the most approved style, numbering
the queens English in a manner to give
Murray convusions, and introducing innu-
mcrable words not laid down in Webster's
unabrdged-and still that child screamed
screamed until it was red, and screamed
until it was hoars6, ard screamed until
looked upon it in dumb amasement, that so
small body possessed such capabilities for
screaming. "Auntie, it's fifteen minutes !
may we go to play ?" chmed in Katie
"Yes, yes" said I, and they vent.
Well now, what was TO be done? re-
hected, "Manilestly," reasoned I, "this
depraved child has inherited from Adam
perverse temper, and a stubborn will Had
l ever had any disposition to question the
doctrine of depravity native and total, am
sure it would Rave been destroyed at that
moment, saw plainly then that it remain
cd with me to subdue this rebellious will,
and, as moral suasion had proved unaval-
ing, Of course something else must be tried.
Acting upon this resolution, T then and there
proceeded to indict the proper punishment.
| administered as much of this as Judged
wise for an infant of that age, (the little
Bessie, who, by the way, was christened for
myself, was six months old), but, tony ev-
erlasting CONSERVATION, that unaccountable
child only yelled the more Justify. Instead
of comprehehdng that was Furnishing 1t
for its own best good and, therofoEe, stopping
its cries, it redoubled them, until Bridget
came rushing in with, "Och, min, and l
thought shure ye were killing the child"
Need say that only too gladly resigned
my precious namesake to Bridget, and left
her administering saccharine consolation to
the young angel, who,%ith its fingers in the
sugar bowl, was still as a mouse.
rushed to my own room for a few min
utes of rest, only to find confusion ten times
worse confounded there. II seemed that Jim
and Katie, or 'boing dismissed from the
nursery, had gone directly to my apartment,
where they had been having their "high old
time" in good earnest. | declare 1t makes
my hair stand on end TO think Of it. There
sat Miss Kate, arrayed in my best hat and
shawl, having empted bottle Of choice
perfumerY upon my incest handkerchief,
and tanning herself with a face of the
gravest sanctimonyj while her brother was
mounted upon an imaginary pulpit, repre-
sented by the bureau, and in my dressing
gown and spectacles, was reading a hymn
in tones worthy of an auotioneer "Play-
ing nesting" briefly explained the Juvenile
orator as l appeared, "let us sing, Come on
my parduers in distress I'm Deacon Jen-
kins," and be nodded to me to take a seat
and "Eot disturb the meeting;" then going
: on TO Initiate lne uIdWl anu lWanR Ol the
old deacon, in a style which was perfectly
excrueating, ard compelled me to laugh in
spite Of myself.
However, I found it necessary to break up
their meeting in very summary manner.
The room was in a condition of unheard-of
disorder, and an investigation revealed my
King Charles under an ottoman, and my cat
shut up in drawer with a napkin tied over
its mead At this discovery | was perfectly
wild, and assure you that had It been pos,
sible to serve both these children measure
for measure, by tying up their heads in nap.
kns and putting them in separate CLOSETS
should have done so. Indeed ! was Just
upon the point Of some such transaction,
when | thought of my recent embarrassing
failure in corporal punishment, and de-
sisted, just dismissing them with severe
lecture. Having exacted promises of future
good behavior, suggested to them the pro-