davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15

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Some time ago, as our readers will
doubtless remember, we took the position
that Mark Twain stood at the head Of
American humorists and wits, The Nash
vile American having given that place tc
Artemus Ward. We sent copy of the
Tribune, containing our answer to the
Americans article, to Mark Twain, and
in reply we have very pleasant letter
from that great American mirth' proyokcr.
Mr.. Clemens speaks with such kindness Of
Altemus Ward, and discusses some OF the
personal qualities that cndeared him to
the English people in such a pleasant way,
that we are sure he will not object to the
publication of that part Of the letter. 1t
also affords us an opportunity to put in
print ''goak perpetrated by Artemus,
which Mr. Clemens assures lis has never
before been Published. Mark Twain was
born in east Tennessee, and perhaps, still
retains some affection for the scenes Ofhs
childhood. At any rate he counts in
east Tennessee many Of his most cnthusi-
astic admirers and sincere friends. The
letter of which we have spoken is as fol-
lows, anl we trust that Brother Doak, Of
the American, will enjoy the new joke at
tributcd to his favorite humorist:
81 thank You very much for that pleasant
article. OF course, it is not for me to
Judge between Artemus and myself on
trade merits, but when it comes to speak
ing of matters personal, am Il good wit
ness. Artemus was one of the kindest
and gcntlcst of men in the world, and the
hold which he took on the LondOncrs sur.
passes Imagination. To this day one Of
the first questions which a Londoner asks
me is il knew Artemus Ward; the an
swcr yes makes that man my friend on
the spot. Artcmus seems to hryc been on
the waumcst terms with thousands Of those
people. Well, he seems neyci to have
written harsh thing against anybody
neither have |, for that mattcr-at least
nothing harsh enough for a body to fret
ahout-aud think he never felt bitter to-
ward people. There may have been three
or four other people like that in the world
at one time or another, but they probably
died good while ago. think his lee
ture on the Babes in the Wood" was the
funniest thing ever listened to. Artc-
mus once said to me, grayely, almost sad
ly, Clemens, | have done too much fool
ing, too mach triiling: | am going to
write something that will live"
"Wcll, what, for instance"
In the same grave way he said:
"A lie. -
1t was an admirable surprise; was
Just getting ready TO cry, be was bccOm-
iuv 50 nnthptic This has never lppn IN
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
Butler and West.


From the Tcrre HautG National.
In putting mp the name of B. +. Butle'
for president; A. NJ West for vice presi
dent, and n, q. Buff for Governor, Tho
National merely indicates Il choice, and
it intends to keep up these names unit
vcritable nominations compel it to take
them down and put up others.
General b. f. Butler is II man OF ac
knouledged ability, broad culture, un
questionable loyalty and true leadership
Hc possesses all the quality to fit him fol
the place for which he is named. He /!
a capitalist of large possessions, though
one that has spent the best part Of hl'
life cndeavoring to raise laborers to 9
higher plane by securing for them higher
wages and reducing the hours of labor
thereby giving themselves greater oppor
tunities to improve themselves mentally
and morally. He is the uncompromlsinl
foe Of oppression, whether it is inflicted
by Goddess despots or soulless corpora
tons, and his consistant public life rend
ers it certain that he viii serve the inter
ests of those who elect him.
A. NJ. West possesses many of the quail
tiles OF Butler. His ability and leader
ship have been already exempifed. A
the very muz2lc of the shotgun he ha'
nearly won Mississippi from the buldoz
ers. He entered the field out of which tn,
Republicans were driven, and against un
equal odds has maintained an equal bat
tie; his victories have been gainel on tn
broadest Grcenback principles. Will
Butler has wlthstood the bulldozing o
Massachusetts, he has withstOoi that o
Mississippi, and from no masked position
has made battle with the Yazooians 10
the freedom of speech and suffrage, an
the money Of the war.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
A Conundrun.

FROM inc now lOTk IaNlNcss'
This thing ought to be stopped. Some
one ought'to get out an injunction to pre-
vent Mary Anderson, going about the
country, and stealing away the. brains o.
young men and old idiots, and newspaper
men generally. She appeared in Elmira
a few nights ago, and the man who does
the dramatic business for the Advertiser,
wonders whether "if Mary Anderson had
not such beauty, and such an elegant
Grecian nose, such length and grace oi
arm, in fact, two arms, which are never
troubled with raiment-such beautiful
shoulder-two shoulders, in fact, such a
sumptuously uncovered neck, such pose
of figure, such graceful, yet careless
wave of hair, and such eyes, and such a
1.-THE, queenly, willowy anatomy withal-
whether il, without all these, Mary Ander-
son would be rs good an actress as she is
with them" The fellow who inaicts
such a conundrum as the above an an un'
offending community during the holidays
ought to be committed to an insurance
office or q gas mandatory.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15

From the Chicago Express.

a'N'' s''' N''iN"tN A+Nt'NeS'
The New York Times frankly admits
that the national banks desire to wipe out
the Greenhack, so that by controlling alb
solutely the volume Of paper currency,
they may profit by the scarcity OF money.
According to the report of the comptro-
Ter OF the currency, the people pay the
banks annually SIT 152, ,396.7j in gold as
interest on the bonds deposited as soCur-
ity for their circulation. Wipe out the
greenbacks, and supply their places with
national bank currency, and this bank in
people, for the sake of enjoying hard
times, low prices, low wages, idleness,
misery, poverty and crime, always the
result Of Il scarcity Of money, will be COM
PEELED to pay the bankers bonus Of S34,-
BOA, 1893 80 for these Injuries. All these
they consent to endure, that the pirates OF
tho gold dens may reap rich haryests
from the fields of unpaid labor.
Scattered throughout the length and
breadth Of the land, are the millions of
workers, engaged in producing those
commodities demanded for the needs and
Injuries of man. These productions alone
tbo rnoJos onJ nothojs NJ distrihni;nr,
tbo rar;oJ nro,lrcis nF sL;u co tbat oaa Z
nroJrcor r,n,. r'H; o,,;,,. tho IsW.Gt ~ tbo
pproJuct poJt oF @ nvorv ~" ~ 3or my nv an VI INV
To accomplish this, with the least posi-
bic expense to both producer and Consum-
or, is the mission of true political ecOno-
my. A universally accepted and recog-
nized medium of exchange is as essential
',, H.
o,t;nr e''"""@N' '"'1'''''P' WV 0'''''
'"IIOm uomco ohoor ord abundant ,,oroy !,
40 lo cs,cn,;ai 10 p,n r" nrosNcr;tv Of hoth nro.
Jncor an6 consn9o,. 70 m r,r a. abundant and
nSo,,, t.n,,,,5,., ot;a,,'
" nn,v,' oP Ir,,srotot,o, :, lin.
;toi ns ;moJoa,,ato ", 90 oaaot tto nocos,a,,y ,
"u, y, T W u''ur' ~ ,,,,at o
Tn';toJ ] VI o,J ,G roomio l.; o,Sr, ',T no,t Of Tho
, tr "" Prop,Ih pIostitto ~ UpS SodpI p'', n"rb a
SnTa a. hoO tho ,ovt 'r "r ,,,ory t%h;nos Hin ,y;cb
nT, oro nraIrcnJ ly @ " @ "Snnlnn"c bnt Gornnt ba
JistrihntoJ dc " " WIN sncb lmitsd Cr trnncnor. w.
tat;or tbosc ,,Lo n,o,on1i;gc II ca, cam.
I nf ,,d co,,m.
irra "'2 r"', - ohnosos r,r tr,nonort.
S tbn pIMTI,,o %aIarn Th yos,It 'W ,nor hn Iow
,ms o'o ,J ",i'''U ~ o'oy 49, o;nt ~
p"Itio o." "i ioat;tn,; "s ond diLi rr;oo
a. ovo,, oint of consmnntinn @ TIA sno,e
Pill iii LoIJ ,,oad j., ro,orJ 10 bo
p'IG,po Si,i no," 7oO't -; i ~" ti'au " ar. vr,
,';"'u"r tn; H. r@J!'" w Co., ~ IT, i" ssni,s
e"'it mLi,ioci w u -, GUS W NV t'o au p'uS ~
p.oguot? VI Il'I uou,o'y .iUti r 1tg r,"S.s ~
p,GtuL,un YIN " Vmt p"vso J.,
10 IN " ,,."i'i ''".nnsa ~ " "o't'o w
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15

From the D.lrot Free PTess'
When Sol Smith Russell was last il
Detroit, he thought to play trick on the
brush boy in q barrier shop by offering the
lad q twenty dollar bill after The broom
had done its work, The boy received thu
money with the usual "thankee," ano
placed the bill in his vest pocket.
"What did give youp" asked Sol aftel
little time.
Twenty dollars, sah," was the compla
cent answer.
Sand vas that too muchp ?"
"Well, sab, when you handed me da
bill | 'sposed you would be in for an extri
brush long dis afternoon and wanted Il
save maxim change! In case you gwin,
to leave town dis mawnin I'll get the bil
busted up an hand ober your sheer!"
It cost Sol half dollar to get his bill
back, and there is one gallery-god in thi
kcity who will never applaud him again
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15

Thcproccss of making slate pencils is
thus described by the American Stationer:
Broken slate from the slate quauics is
put in a mortar run by steam, and pound
ed into small particles. Thence it goes
into the hopper of Il mill, which runs into
"bolting machine, " where it is "bolt-
ed" the finer almost impalpablc, -four
that results being taken TO mixing tub,
where Il small quantity Of stcatitc flour,
similarly manufactured is added, to-
gcther with other materials, the whole
beng made into stiff dough. The dough
is knCNded thoroughly by passing it
,evsral times between iron rollers. Then
| it is conveyed to table, where it is made
into "chalges"- is, short cylinders,
four or tiye inches thick, and containing
some eight or twelve pounds each Four
Of these are placed in strong iron cham
ber, or "retort,' with.a changeablc noz-
zle so as to regulate the size OF the pencil,
| and subjected to tremendous hvdraulc
pressure, under which the composition is
pushed through the nozzle in long cord,
like a slender snake sliding out OF a hole,
and passes over a sloping table, slit at
right angles with the cords to give pas
sage to a knife which cuts them into
lengths They are then laid on boards to
dry, and after few hours are removed to
sheets of corrugated zinc, the corrugations
serving to prevent the pencils from warp.
ing during the process Of baking, towhich
they are next subjected in kiln, into
which superheated steam is introduced in
pipes, the temperature being regulated
according to the requirements Of the
article exposed to its influence, From The
kiln the articles go to the finishing and
packing room, where the ends are thrus
for q second under rapidly.revolvinl
emery wheels, and thendrawn neatly anC
smoothly pointed ready for use,
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15

From the New York Times.
Mines and mining have always had
strong attractions for the average man
The cansc is obvious enough-thc taIntcst
prospect Of sudden wealth usually ha;
power to innamc Imagination and rcpress
reason. Although mining enterprises arc
generally precarious, and money is con-
tinually lost in them, most men seem Just
as willing to take great risks as If mining
had been uniformly prosperous. The
| facts and figures Of mining in San Fran
cisco, the greatest centre Of such business
during the year Just closed, show most
strikingly the dark and truthful side oI
the chief mania Of that city. They make
Il very gloomy, yet stirring admomltlon
against speculation. In 1873, 2IN mining
companies assessed Observation-Disclosures, the
total assessment being #li S2I7GO. The
Sierra Nevada has called for S9l0,0O0,
and the Union Consolidated $3.50, 900. and
the shares have declined from something
kr $3.50 10 $2j, The entire assessments
in NcYada fer the deep mining on the
Cnmstock have been Sli,403, ,40i, and the
dividends but 81, ,dlISOO proving that S.
01O,00O more was put into the ground than
could be- got out Of it. In California the
assessments exceeded the dividends nearly
$l,i00,G0O. Mining stocks generally have
fallen very much on the Pacific coast and
caused necessarily very much suffering in
that region, with indications Of much
more. rhc conviction is steadily growing
that the rublic Is regularly swindled by
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
PROFESSOR PROCTOR'S LECTURE
The Life and Death of II World Portrayed
TO the Teachers of New York.

TO the Teachers OF New YORK.
From the New York World
Professor Richard A. Proctor made
what was announced as-his final appear
orco i, tbis oit,, rostordoy afternoon n,
"Is;- mn - - a.,
ogeIhw"y l"l'' III " 'cv'u'c oeIoio 'n'
"Ieachers Association. ~ Mr.. jacob /
BOYLE presided. There were no reserved
seats and tbe hail WAS filed. His subiect
was "Tbe life and Death of n World"
He began by GIVING a skeleton outline Of
Laplace's theory as deyeloped by him
from HorschcI's theory, according tr
which planetary bodies are formed bv n
consoIidot,on of gosrons sell.lnminSus
mass nontino in snace. This yapory mist
mr. ooseons mass was set in n circulor mo.
tIon hv some nave, or force and wonlj al
frst throw off n rino mon the outsiderim,
and this ring wonid Lreait info fragments
and fnoIlv ibo Fropmnnts wonld nnite and
form world, This world So formed wonid
Inc nj frsf soft and nlostic and only after
millions and millions Of Years would #
sufficiently cool and condense so as 70 he.
come hard and Solid and IN for animal
| Iifn, After the FIRST ring had been thrown
oG' rrom this neLnlons mass another ring
wonIJ form and in I;ke manner bncomn . =
worlJ and tbnn another and onot6nr in
srcrcss;on unt;l fnojIv tbn contrai mass
worII torn tbe enn oIont which ali tbo
u,orI5s az Lis s,,,tor, ,,o,,iT royoI,.o This
c;rrnior noyomont "avn diroct;on 10 Tho
wboic svstom of nlonSts fms formsd so
HAT in 6rr ny,n s6lo, % s,.stonU tbo ,,IoDots to
~ ~ V"' Wv" "y'"' '''''tii " p'''e 70
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
Lucky People.
London Special to tho New York Herald.

London special TO tho new 1orK Herald.
Rumor is busy with the prospects of the
new Duke of Portland. The young
guardsman with his twenty-on years and
his income of 81 100000, is the best spark
in the country. But he is said to be al
ready engaged to Miss Violet Lindsay,
who is the daughter of Colonel Lindsay,
formerly member OF Parliament for Alb.
ingdon, and now one of the Queens
grooms in waiting, and grand daughter Of
the Earl OF Crawford. The Lindsays stand
high in the Queens favor; none Of the
Scotch nobility, except the Campbells,
stand so near to the throne. The news
that one Of the family, a pretty girl q
twenty. is to wed the new Lord of Well
bee Abbey, will be as agreeably received
! at Windsor as by society at large.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
Iofj'g
DO YOU REMEMBER,

''uN BAoIo DATo NON EMAI PERDUTo."
Because we once drove together
In the moonlight over the snow,
With the sharp bells ringing their tinkling
chime,
60 many years ago.
SO now as hear them Jingle,
The winter comes back again,
Though the summer stirs in the heavy trees
And the wild rose scents the lane.
We gather our furs around us,
Our faces the keen air stings,
And noiseless We fly DER the snow.hushed
world,
Almost as if we had wings.
Enough is the joy of mere living,
Enough is the blood's quick thrill;
We are simply happy-I care not why
We are happy beyond our will.
The trees are with iciccs jtweled,
The walls are o'er-serfe1 with snow:
The houses with marble whiteness are roo fed
In their windows the hOmc-lights glow.
Through the tense, clear sky above us
The keen stars flash aud gleam,
And wrapped in their silent shroud of snow,
The broad fields lie and dream.
And jingling with low, sweet clashing
Ring the bells as our good horse goes,
And tossing his head, from his nostrils red
His frosty breath he blows.
And close you nestled against me,
While around your waist my arm
have slippcd-'tis so bitter, bitter cold
1t is only to keep us warm.
We talk, and then we are silent;
And suddenly-yOu know why
| stooped-cOuld help it? You lifted your
face-
We kissed-therc was nobody nigh.
And no one was ever the wiser,
And no one was ever the worse;
The skies did not fall-as perhaps they
ought
And we heard no paternal curse.
never told it-did you, dear?-
From that day unto this
But my memory keeps in its inmost recess,
Like perfume, that innocent kiss.
dare say you have forgotten,
Twas SO many n year ago;
Or you may not choose to remember it,
Time may have changed You so.
The world so chills us and kills MS,
Perhaps you may scorn to recall
That night, with its innocent impulse
Perhaps You'll deny it all.
But if Of that fresh sweet nature
The vcriest vestigc survive,
You remember that moments madness
You remember that moonlight drive.
". W. story, in atlantic. for Jdsuary.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
Queen Victoria.

A London Letter In Chicago Times.
had rs good a view Of Her Majesty s
features as possible, at distance OF about
thirty PAGES, in a railway depot not too lib
orally lighted with gas, She is not as tall
as she looks in the photographs and stan
dard paintings. She is decidedly below
the ordinary height, and not so stout as
have often heard her described, She is
what should call one Of the "comtorta.
BILE" build. Her Majesty was dressed in
very deep mourning, with an abundance
OF Grape. Her head covering was sort oi
Grape coronet hat; her dress was long he.
hind and looped in front, and covered with
Grape, and she wore, as well as could
discern, a black cloth jacket, trimmed
heavily with Grape, of very plain, square
cut. If she carried any jewelry it, was o.
the simplest descriptions none of it wal
visible, and one of her hands was un
gloved.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
No More Hard Times,

II you will stop spending so much on fine
clothes, rich food and at. lie, buy good, healthy
food, cheaper and better clothing; get more
real and substantial things Of life every way
and especially stop the foolish habit of EN-.
plOying expensive, quack doctors or using SC
much of the vile humbug medicine that does
you only harm, but put your trust in that sim.
pie, pure remedy, Hop Bitters; that cures al.
ways at trifling cost, and You will see good
times and have good heAlth.-- Chronicle.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15
From tho Danbury News

From tho Danbury News
Every town has its mean man, and ours
was no exception to the rule. Enus
Smuggs, our next door neighbor, was re-
markable for his closeness and inventive
genius. The other day he wanted to pur-
chase ton of egg coal, and borrowing
the morning paper from us he read it un-
til he found out where it could b9 bought
for the least money. The only thing that
troubled him was how to get it into his
backyard without any labor or expense.
There was large alleyway between our
houses which led to Enus' yard, and when
the coal arrived he opened the door, and
walking up a few feet he drove an old
broomstick into the ground and put a
large bottle on the top. He was waiting
in the yard with q shovel in his hand
when three small boys came along anC
opened fire on the bottle with the piece
Of coal. In half an hour the sidewalk wal
cleared and the coal safely slowed ava!
in the shed, and then old Enus, grinuinl
from ear to ear, sold the bottle to junk
man.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15

A stronger government means weaker
people. To centralize power, means to
strip the people of their libcrtie,, their
franchises, and their sovereignty, to con-
fer them upon despot.
Weekly Chillicothe crisis., 1880-01-15

Capital has declared war upon labor and
threatens to shed rivers of blood it the
latter does not consent to be robbed and
enslaved by the former.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-03-04
Stop that Cough.

IF you are suffering with Cough,
Cold, Asst hma, Bronchitis, Hay Fever,
Consum ption, loss of voice, tickling
in the throat, or any affection of the
Throat or Lungs, use DIR. KING S
NEW DISCOVERY for Consumption.
This is the great remedy that is caus-
ing so much excitement by its won
derful cures, curing thousands of hope
less cases. Over one million bottles
OF DIR. KINGS NEW DISCOVERY have
been used within the last year, and
have given perfect satisfaction in every
instance. We can unhesitatingly say
that this is really the only sure cure
for throat and lung affections, and
can cheerfully recommend it. to all
Call and get q trial bottle free of cost.
or a regular size for SEQ. For sale
by Robinson & Schultz.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-03-04

We have received our annual letter
from Auren Knapp, Jr., Knappa,
Oregon, with his regular subscription,
So 90. Mr.. Knapp's family are well
and thriving.
Spring has flown her nest and the
slmmer eggs are getting cold. About
four inches ofsnow, with a promise Of
more makes good slipping, aud loggers
are jubilant.
Mrs Gar says to Mr.. Gar. "Ds
you think they meant to kill US z"
Czartainly, Czartainly, my dear; they
lneart e Blow US highsky, Czartainly !!
Mothers need not be kept awake
nights by the incessant coughing Of
thier children, if they have DR.. Mar
shall's Lung Syrup at hand, and give
one or two doses in season. Price only
% cts. Sold by F. }. Wood.
The bill restraining capitol punish
ment was indefinitely postponed Tues
day of last week by vote of 46 to
A. It elected able speeches for and
against. The killing of the bill viii
meet with general approval through
out the state.
We are in receipt of Prof. T. W.
Chittendens excellent paper published
in the Fourth Annual Report Of the
State Board of Health, entitled, "Our
School Houses" and the equally valu-
able paper by J. T. Reeve, NJ. D.
published in same report, entitled
"Our Public Schools in their relation
to the Health of Pupils each in
pamphlet form, for distribution among
the people. These papers were well
received by the public. and will be
more Justly appreciated now that they
are presented in their entirely con-
venient form.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-03-04
-
Our SmalfChange.

DR.. G., F. Nitter, residence Drake
ST., Office P. O, building If.
Spring is here.
Don't buy your straw hat, yet
This is the best winter for logging
we ever had.
A runaway in our streets Wednes-
day. Only pair of hobs smashed.
The bad walking made empty pew,
in our churche s last Sabbath.
This March 4tb-Inauguration day
Who will be year hence!
Canned Goods are being sold at J
E. Ingraham & Co.'S. cheaper than
they can be bought at wholesale.
Very many teams came out of the
woods-thawed out, but they are
freezing in again-last week.
f, J. Wood and Robinson &
Schultz are DANG big in the drug
trade. this spring.
Subscribe for the REPORTER. Get
your local news first.
An attempt was made to- frs the
Opera House in milwaukee, last Wed
nesday. ,, :.
The Wisconsin Central Il. R. i.
shipping about 40 car loads of ict
daily from Milwaukee,
The political boom is just more
than booming. Conventions are a:
think as Sunday School picnics il
June.
The schools at New London have
been closed on account of the preva
lence Of diphtheria
Mr.. and Mrs ". B. Nerves little
one passed away to the better land
"Wednesday night last at II o'clock
Be Sure to call for DIR MARSHALL
Lung Syrup you are troubled with a
bad cough or cold. It relieves afte,
taking the first dose. Sold by T. j
Wood.
Don't forget the grand sociable, anc
entertainment by the ladies at Music
Hall tonight. 1t will be a treat lone
to be remembered
Every merchant in our cities. in or.
der to advance their own interest:
should insert a good, wisely wordec
advertisement in the REPORTER.