The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-05-25
CHIPS.

It is very strange that the man who first
invented sleep did not extend the invention
to babies.
When a man has done me l absolute good
turn he kant kross it off from mi books, l
don't kare how mean he may be afterwards.
Josh Billings.
1t is . read-letter day for a man when his
wife goes on a piscatorial expedition into his
coat pockets and fishes up a note written in a
strange feminine hand.
Women always claim to be anxious to have
as good husbands as possible, and yet we
never attended a wedding where the bride
married the best man.
Mrs. Eunice Hale Cobb, widow of the Rev.
Sylvanus Cobb, and mother of Sylvanus, Jr..
the story writer, died in Boston the other day,
aged seventy-seyen years.
When the affectionate father of five grown
daughters calls at the hardware store for an
the spring campaign has opened.
Twas a beautiful 'purp'' that ran through the
But alas! as he turned in a passage,
A grizzly old Dietcher collared him there,
And now he's made into Spring ''sassidgc."
Dead business men tell no tales in the ad-
vertising columns.
Secretary Eyartts is to deliver a speech or
two Curing the coming campaign-provided
the campaign is sufficiently protracted.
Ihave a new bonnet: Iii go up to church
To hear the new preacher, young Jonathan
Birch.
He's single and handsome, but they say he's so
And that his sermons are long and dreadfully
dry;
But. being a bachelor, I'll try for his sake
To look interested and keep wide awake.
Albert, Victor and George, sons of the
Prince of Wales, nidshIpnen, have had their
pay increased from one shilling to one shil-
ling and ninepencc per day.
Windsor, Conn, claims to be $50 years old,
and she can prove it by most of her Sunday
plug hats.
"IIenry," said his wife, with a chilling Sc
verify, Il saw you coming out of a saloon this
afternoon" We'll, my darling" replied the
heartless man, "you wouldn't have your hus-
band staying it a saloon all day, would you?"
On the boulevard: 'Oh, | see that your
son is getting to be quite a man. What are
you going to make of him.? What does he
want to dog He has a great taste for
travel I"Then make him a cashier or a
savings bank PRESIDENT
What. twenty-five cents a pound for sau-
sages ? Why, l can get 'em down ct Schmidt's
for twenty cents well, den, Wy didn't yer:?'
cause Schmidt was out of 'em." ''Vell, NV
[ was owit of EN- | sell 'em for twenty cents.
too
Madame, who is Of great embonpoint, asks
her husband in what character she shall
attend the masquerade. ''As a captive bal
ioon,' he said. How must / dress for that
character ?' "Simply by tying a string to you,
FOOT answered the brute.
A clergyman named Hoyle was so indiscreet
as to register his name at a hotel in Omaha,
Within half all hour no fewer than fourteen
persons sent their cards to his room to ascer
tain if 4 flush royal couldn't beat four aces.
'As we approach Chicago WI must pu
brains IN front, > remarks one Of the third
term organs. What a novel spectacle it vii
be to see some hundred Of delegates backing
up towards that national Republican gather
ing.
s'Mother," said a seven-year old son Of al
energetic mother, as he watched her ~yi,orou.
manipulation of a kitchen utensil, you ough
not to go TO heaven" WHY not, my son .
because you would wear out your harp be
fore eternity was half over"