The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-11-04
Parson Campbell's Circus.

his church near Little Rock. For some
reason unknown to "Greasy Pars" the
work Jagged. The meeting had been in
progress a week, and none of the Dea-
cons had been present. Greasy Pars'
went around and asked the members con-
corning their laxity.
"Oh. Use too busy ur pickin cotton, "
said one eyer can't speek man ter
drap his business cherry time yer toot
yer horn Pars, yerll hab ter had a
leetle sistency hangin' aroun' bout your
garments.
''De Lords business Is more pressin'
den yourn," replied Greasy Pars
"Yas, but de Lords got Abraham an
Isaac, an Jacob, an Paul, an Peter, an
whole paissel oh udders to help him,
an I haint got nobody but Jim, lila an
ole Emma's son Phil"
Go ahead" said Greasy Pars. eco
on, but when de final horn toots doan
yer SEN fur me- De debil is snappin' de
smell OBJ sulphur is gittin' so strong dat
I'll hab ter leave de reighborhood."
The preacher was thus ''put OF" by
each of the deacors, and, disguised, he
closed the meeting and ordered the doors
to be nailed. Several days later, while
Greasy Pars was sitting in front Of his
house, his deacons, one by one, passed.
Finally, the one with whom he had the
above conversation came along
Whar yer gwine, deacon
Sc pwiue ter de show
Thought dat yer had to pick cotton
all de time an couldn't come ter
church "
"Wall, parsin, hits dis way; A man
kin 90 ter church any time, but I'll be
dinged eff he dean hab ter take de circus
on the fly. Now, since yer have men
toned hit, Pars, femme tell yer De
people is tired Oh yer ole-fashioned
noshuns. Da wonts suthln' new De
white folks has big organs an the boss
singers. Yer hain't got not nuthin' but
yerself and de ole hymn book. Git up
suhin' rractive Gin the boys suthin'
new den DIAL. al come. Use gwine ter
de circus, an whenebber yer gets up yer
meetin' house in 'tractive shape Il
come ter church, All not afore"
Greasy Pars saw the necessity of
change He studied all night and fin
ally adopted a course which he thought
would strike the taste Of his congrega-
ticn. Next week the people were start
led by seeing flaming advertisements
posted around, The preacher was
man Of means, and had certainly done
his work at an enormous cost The bill
read "Come to Do,wood church next
Sunday; grandest ecclesiastical comhina-
ton ever known before A large collec-
ton Of religious animals have been pur-
chased and will positively be exhibited
in my own and only ministerial show.
Phil, the young circus rider, will as
tonish the congregation by his bareback
riding, and Jokes on the sinner, Don't
forget the date. Admission, twenty-five
cents. Hundreds of curiosities not ad
vertised will be exhibited
No one could understand it The
white people and colored alike were as
tonished. Greasy Pars was asked, but
merely remarked, "fur furder particu-
lars see de small bills
Saturday night a large tent was erect
ed near the Dogwood church, and early
Sunday morning a hand organ begun
operations. People locked from every
direction, and whea the doors were
opened there was rush. Every seat
was occupied, and everybody wanted to
see what would result from such mys-
terious arrangement. Around on one
side Of the tent were rude cages contain
ing double headed dog, one-eyed calf.
three-horned goat, large black snake,
crow, several chickens, anda razor
back hog. A band had been employed
and played with peculiar enthusiasm.
Finally Greasy Pars, dressed in red tights,
made his appearance and announced the
advent of Phil, the circuit rider. Phil
came out, and in musical proportion to
gallop played by the band, few around
the ring Then jim. the clown, came
out and began joking the sinners. He
called himself ''old religious stick in the
mud" and applied many other original
circus Jokes. The parson then sang
hymn, and, at its conclusion, said: "Ef
any one wishes ter buy dis song, I'll ilst
state dat a boy viii be sent roun' mung
de congregation"
The bareback rider made his appear
ance again, and y as so ecclesiastical in
his circuit riding that several Of the dea
CONS +hra,v him lai.oa r,;aces of tohaprn