Morning journal and courier., 1880-07-29
Price Four Cents
EXTRADITED.

A veteran shopkeeper says that although ] ms clerks are very talkative during the day.
 they are always ready to shut up at night.
 Ladies are like watches-pretty enough to
 look at; sweet faces and delicate hands. but
 somewhat difficult to regulate" after they { are set a-going
 A young scholar, the first day at school
 was asked her name by the teacher and re- plIed. Her fathers name was the next uues- ! tlon and she did not know his first name. | The teacher then asked her, tsWhat does vour mother call him? You iackass !'' said the I child. '--0
 An aesthetic midday meal-At the lunch con hour, Jellaby Postlethwaite enters pas- try cooks and calls for glass of water. into | which he puts fresh-cut lily, and loses him l self in contemplation thereof Waiter Shall bring yon anything else, sir ?' JeI- ! 1aby Postlethwaite ''Thanks, mo- I have all require, and shall soon have done ln- Punch.
 The Greenbackers have made great mis- take ln nominating this man Weaver for the Presidency. General Weaver, we all remem Der, passed through here in 1865, and gath cred bottle of crude petroleum from the surface of Oil Creek. This he took to n mon astry in Michigan, and representing himself as a holy friar, sold it to the Sisters of Mercy TOT nalr OIL Gan any white man vote for this base person Petroleum World
 
 of a Chicago gutter and pulled into handy station house, were asked for their names. Whereupon one of them promptly spoke up and said with merry twinkle in his eve. 1T m Moody and my friends Sankey" The Democratic party in this year of grace 7s9o is equally humorous. When asked who it is, it slips on a military coat, assumes a martial air and replies, I'm the Major General Win field Scott, man-on- horseback soldier loving party, I am. '-Albany Journal.
 The Galveston people are the most polite in the world few evenings age, at little social gathering, fashionable young Calves tonian could not find his hat He had not had drink for more than half an hour so he had to retire for that purpose Finally he discovered that lady weighing two hun dred pounds was sitting on his hat He ap- preached her very politely and said: Ma dam, will you be kind enough to let me have my hat for few moments? As soon as re- turn will put it right back where I got it from.n
 As the crew warmed up and conversation grew promlscuous little kid of Jerseyite began to ask questions. Mamma, why don't God make whales to live on land and eat grass like horses ? If He don't want to make 'em that way they could have wings and fly among the trees and sing when they is lone ly. Ma, want whale to play with-won't you catch me one?" The mother was feel ing somewhat sea-sick but @ porpoise jumped out of the water so suddenly that she postponed the event, while the inuuisitive youngster declared it was shark ''Mamma, do sharks go to sleep when they is tired of biting people? Do they cry when the whales chaw lem? Mamma, suppose the Lord had made the ocean out of wood how could fish swim in it :? How would you make tea out water if it could be chopped with an axe? Suppose the Lord had made trees out of water; you could not whip me then Thena horse would have to drink a tree when he got dry-wouldn't he, mamma ?" The conver- sation was prolonged, but the reporter was called to other scenes