Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-02-25
FACTS AND FANOIEs.

Buffalo Bill tells of beef cattle so POOR
that he had to prop them up TO shoot them
down.
Since cashiers began to alter accounts,
double-entry bookkeeping has been some-
what changed.
| The latest fashion is for young ladies to
carry small daggers in their stockings, as a
Texan carries pistols in his bootlegs
| An East Boston man sent coffin to a
friend as practical joke, and the man who
received it went and sold it for Sl7 to an
undertaken.
| A timid Rochester girl, who was robbed
by a pickpocket on the street, took the
purse away from him, and kicked him clear
around the corner.
There is no pleasing some people. The.
Oswego Gazette states that during the
speech of Searles under the scafold some
one among the audience cried out louder"
An ingenious mechanic over III England
has invented gun without a Jock and
Edison is going to find the key to that in
vention, if it takes. him three-quarters of
an hour.
A stranger from Albany appeared at the
poorhouse in Troy and told the keeper he
wanted a wife. A woman was shown to
him, and after looking her over in busi
ness sort of way, he agreed that she should
| at first work for hiSn and then become his
bride.
At Stockholm the Countess Fersen,
Gyldenstople, whose grandfather, Count
Fersen, disguised as a coaohman, drove
Louis XIV, and Marie Antoinette to
Vareness, was lately burned to death.
She is said to have been the last of the
Fersens.
English critics are in deadlock about
the signs which the midshipmeD on board
of the Bacchante induced the two sons of
the Prince of Wales to have tatooed in
India ink upon their noses. One class say
that the signs are anchors, and another
class say that they are arrows.
When Nine. Emile de Girardin wrote
her 4" Lady Sarteffe," some one said to her /:
"What Imagination you must have had to
have found the resume of all the vices that
are incarnate in your sad heroine" my
imagination lad nothing to do with it"
quietly replied Nine. de Girardin. ''T
simply summed up all my best and most
intimate Lady friends
Sheridan once declined to take walk
with troublesome feminine admirer, ON
the ground that the weather would not
permit, and being caught by the lady as he
was sneaking cut for a stroll, countered her
remark that the weather seemed now to
have cleared up, with the bold assevera-
tion, g Yes, madame, enough for one, but
not enough for two.
As specimen OF metaphor, we think
the following used the other day at a
boisterous Home Rule meeting in the north
OF Ireland-is about the finest on record
"Misther SPEAKER, sorr, the apple of dis
cord has been thrown in our midst,
and if it be not at ence nipped in the bud,
twill burst into a coDfiagration which
threatens to deluge the whole world :"
He looked over all the papers on the
newsstand, and not finding what he wanted,
said to the plump, pretty girl-clerk 81
want FreSide Companion. what,
sirg she blushed. 81 want Preside
Companion" he repeated. ''0h, yes, sir;
l hear you now, and she chewed the cor
ner OF her apron well-well-d you
think would dog 1t TUNED out happily.
y whip with a lash six feet long and an
inch thick is ased 10 drive hogs III the Chi
cago slaughter-houses An experienced
man can take out piece of hogs tough
hide at every stroke. Another instrument
of torture is plant strip of wood with a
heavy knot at the end, with which thc
brutes' shouts are whacked. \ wagon fol-
lows every drove to pick up the disabled
hogs.
Lady Rosebery is of imposing, almost
imperial presence. and her face, distinctly
eastern in type, shows good health, good
sense and good feeling The Earl and
Countess were married in 1878. and their
daughter, only two months old, is none
the less Lady" Sybil. Myra Caroline
Primrose, and at the reception given
to Mr. Gladstone was greatly petted
and kissed, till solemn footman
announced that LADY Sybil IS wanted"
This recalls an ancc3ote Of the time when
commissions in the British army were sold
to women and children. WHAT noise is
that y some one asked. "Oh, it's Just tie
Major crying for his porridge.'
One day when areview was ahout to ta':e
place in q certain French city band of
patriots went to the general commanding
clamoring to have the band play tie Mar
seilla;se. "Cllildren Ct your country.
said the General coldiy, edo you behold
elevated on any side the bloody standard
Of tyranny" "N-no." DO you hear
nv ferocioEs soldiers roaring in the
eonnsrv?" "N-no." ''Do they manifest
any inteptioa Of coming TO take from your
arms vour wives and little oEes to slaN.
ebg "N-no.' s'AHd, finally, have y ur
furrows any urgent necessity fsr beng
watcred with impure 5'oci !" N-no.
g Well. jf ali tlis is so, whas IN thuneer
do YOU want tie sisrse.iSise liayed Lr.