The Osceola times., 1880-09-18
WAYS or THE WORLD.

In Vermont good whisky is called
Poland water.
A FITTING opportunity-The visit to
the dressmaker.
SAxrLEY, the great singer, has joined
the Roman Catholic Church.
TIE Georgia Democrats have been trying
to nominate Governor for week past
THE Russians, although musical, do
not particularly admire the Turkish
Patrol"
Ir il all well enough to say, "Take
things as they Gomez" but suppose they
don't come?
The backbone OF the summer is sup
posed to be broken, and it IL now living
on its carriages.
An unhappy marriage is like an cleo
trio machine--it makes one dance, but
you can't let 60.
A GERMAN chemist has discovered a
practicable method Of manufacturing
artificial indigo.
A WOMAN can not become a successful
lawyer. She is too fond of giving her
opinion without pay.
The most dieagreeable positionin this
vale of tears is that of pitcher in an un-
successful base ball nine.
The young mans mustache appears to
be growing smaller every day, and 1t is
evidently on the down grade.
MANY new friends and engagements
are made ~ q summer watering place.
1t is q place of resort and repair
CONNECTICUT has discovered a true
and only remedy for chills and fever.
Scatter cayenne pepper in your shoes.
THE London World styles Lord Ran
dolph Churchill, the husband OF Miss
Jerome, the Wasp Of Woodstock"
THERE was Mrs. Tanner, but she OBJ
jected to the Doctors manner. and that
was what was the matter with Henri
eta.
WHEN you see two young lovers at
opposite ends of the sofa, you may be
certain that nearer Of happiness is i'm
minent.
They went fishing. She iookod Ian
guidly at him and said: II wish the fish
would bite at your hook; If was fish
Iwould."
BRET HARTE's new novel will deal
with rural English life. He visits
Froude in Devonshire, where he makes
his studies.
"How does painting agree with my
daughterf" asked an anxious parent.
st makes her too red in the face" re-
piled the teacher.
"COuNTERrEITINa," remarks the Dan.
bury Nesss, "has finally got down to
where il really concerns us. Bogus 10
cent pieces are afloat."
DR. T. S. CoBBoLD, microscopist, says
that it is curious to find that the hearts
of birds, as well a. OF carnivora, are
crowded with nematoid insects.
LADIES are like watches - pretty
enough to look at; sweet faces and deli
cate hands, but somewhat difficult to
regulate" after they are set a-poing
BLoNDIx threatens to walk over Mag.
ara this summer. Better sail over-Free
Press. If he should become defaulting
bank cashier he would soon skip over.
CIvrLIzH and make an agricultural
citizen of the Indian and he will soon
learn to distill whisky from the corn
grown by himself. 1t will be an incen-
tive.
DIFFERENCE in mothers: Tommy
(whose mamma has been reading to him
about Eve and the serpent)-She wasn't
like you, mamma, for you're afraid of a
mouse.
RocHxroRr says that the French Sen.
ate il like the double six in the
game of dominoes, because every one
Is anxious to get rid of it as speedily
as possible.
MATTHEW ARNoLD's enemies say that
he tells the English upper class that it is
materialized, the middle class that it is
vulgar and the lower class that it il
brutal.
THE Jewel OF servant girl is thu
one who hangs all her mistress EN-
broidered underwear on that portion o
the line most conspicuous to the neigh
bors' eyes.
The Countess OF Cork last week gave
"rose ball" in London, the house be-
ing filled with roses, and all the guest.
adorned with roses OF all imaginabl,
sizes and shades.
LINDSAY Muss has been messenger q
the office of the Secretary of the Navy
for more than half a century, havin,
been appointed under John Quinc,
Adams, July Is, 1928.
A YOUNG man who does little nov
and then in politics, and has occasion
to mix with the mixers, says no on,
can know how many friends he ha,
until he enters bar-room.
WHEN a young man says he is goin
out riding, his sweetheart natural,
wants to go along too; but when sh,
finds he is to ride a bicycle she con
cludes she will take walk instead
N. LOUIS BLANC is recovering iron
the severe illness which almost mad,
his friends despair of his lite, and ha.
gone to pass the quiet weeks of con
valescence in the country near Paris.
A STANCE story is told of Bohemian
sexton He is said to have killed an,
eaten mad dog confided to his keepin,
a short time ago, and to have expert
enced no i'll effects from the singula
food.
AN "Arctic exhibition" has beer
opened in London. A great variety o
articles connected with Arctic explora
tiOn are shown. The display is made II
the interest of Commander Cheyng'
SCENE for reaching the North Pole il
balloons.
By means of simple appliance whicl
he calls the "resonator," Prof. Bacl
claims to greatly increase the power an,
volume of the human voice. The instru
ment is simply gold plate, arranged Oh
the principle Of a sounding board, in tn
roof of the mouth.
ONE of the women in the CLEVELAND
Insane Asylum was exceedingly de
- r.