Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-01-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

: ANY man can edit newspaper, but it
days. " u: :.
COLUMBUS made the egg stand, but.
Italians Of less renown have made the
peanut stand.
SHAT puts q different face on it," as
the boy said when the ball struck the
clock dial.
WHATEVER objection may be opposed
to- whipping, it is at least undeniable
that it makes boy smart. ." 49,
THE lilies of the fields have pistils,
and every wide-awake citizen of fair
Texas is "arrayed like one of these"
The ightning.1od man must be al
lowed good profit, for when he sells
out his business he never can get much
for the goodwill.
LITTLE Gertie (after waiting some
time for DESSERT -"Uncle, don't you
have anything after dinner2" Uncle
Eyes, dear; the dyspepsia."i
A LADY, regular shopper, who had
made an unfortunate clerk tumble over
all the stockings in the store, objec' ed
that none Of them we're long enough.
II want" she said, "the longest hose
that are made" "Then, madam" was
the reply, "you had better apply to the
next engine-house."
THE DEAREST LOVE.
sisters love Is charming,
Al everybody knows;
And handsome cousins love is nice
(At1east, should SUPPOSE;
And the love of q true lover
Is the love that cannot pail;
But the love Of . new bonnet
Is the dearest love Of ALL
MOTHER to her daughter, just year.
old" What makes you look so sad
Carrier" Carrie, looking at her baby
brother, 3 weeks old" was just think
ing that in about ten years from now,
when 7 shall be entering company, and
having beau, that brother of mine will
be just old enough to bother the life
out of me-"
A RoCKLAND man read that one should
endeavor to draw something useful from
everything he saw, and nobly resolved
to profit by the teaching. That night
when the moon was hidden he essayed
to draw number of useful cord-wood
sticks from his neighbours woodpile, and
got filed so full of rock-salt out of a
gun that he won't be able to taste any
thing fresh for the balance of his natu-
raj life.
The round yellow pumpkin that the
housewife has in eye for nice batch
of inch and half deep pies, with under
crust as brown as berry, doesn't
always show up when cooking-day
comes round; but down behind the
garden gate at the first approach OF
darkness che can see q fendish face all
aglow with fire. That's her favorite
pumpkin, and the only wax-candle she
had is inside of it.
The origin of @dog- days" is accounted
for as follows: The great heat of July
led to superstition among the Ro.
mans; they conceived that this pre-em-
inent warmth, and the diseases and
| other calamities flowing from it, were
! somehow connected with the rising and
and the setting of the star Canicula-
the Little Dog-in coincidence with the
| sun. They accordingly conferred the
name dog-days upon the period between
the Sd of July and the 18th Of August
HER FOOT.
Just as she her coach was entering
Did see her foot one day
| All! what feeling overcame mol
But what twas cannot say.
Crazy-like the coach I followed;
| Where it stopped stopped again
And once more the wondrous vision
OF that foot disturbed my brain.
Not ono instant forgetit,
Or In peace, or joy, or strife
never saw larger foot
never did in all my life!