The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1880-07-08
EEunfurntts;
JONES AND fHE BABY.
Badly sold.
BY FANNY j. RAYMOND.


SIT seems to me" said Jones to his
wife, who was walking around the
room, with the baby in his auns.
THAT women make n great deal of fuss
about Putting Il child to sleep. Now,
would chuck him into bed, and let
him Squall it out"
at seems to ma," said Mrs Jones.
quietly, ''all men are born idiots"
Jones couldn't, f6ii the life of him.
see what that fact had to do with put
ting the baby to sleep, but ne wisely
held his peace.
The next evening, Mrs. Jones caHae
into tbs sittingroom, where Jones was
reatfng the market reports and said
i am going down to. mothers after
that receipt for yeast Baby is asleep;
but if he should wake, 1 presume YOU
could put him to sleep again-men are
50 handy with babies"
'tAll right! I'll put him to sleep
again i'll less than no time : run along,
my dear" said Jones, cheerfully.
Mrs. Jones vanished, and Jones re-
aumed his paper.
5oOnafteF his wife's departure, Jones
heard Il little premonitOry grunt from
the vicinity of the bcd-ro0m.
"Huil0! what's th::t p he exclaimed,
as he assumed a listening attitude.
He soon found out, for the Juvenile
member Of the Jones family set upm
series Of yells that would have done
credit to prima donna.
Jones dropped his paper, rushed in.
to the bedroom, seized his offspring,
and carried him wrong end up back
into the sitting room.
The suddenness of the attack, and
the unusual position, 50 astonisied his
babyshiP, that he forgot to Scream for
a few seconds: but when Jones rfghted
him up, and offered him pair of sleeve
buttons for playthings, Johnny shut
his eyes, opened his mouth, and began
again with renewed viEQf and dctermi-
nation.
Jones abandoned the slecve-buttonF.
and tried to ''cuddle" the baby up a.
ter the maternal fashiop, but baby
sternly refused to 'Ecifddfo up:1 and
with a degree of eDrgy for which
Jones was wholly unprepared,2 and
which evinced total lack OF respect
for the "autlIor of his being" johnny
grabbed the Patcrnal whiskdis with
both hands aRd howled'' louder than
ever.
Jones released himself smoOthcd
lis cherished whiskers, deposited his
heir on the sofa, retreated to a safe dis.
tance, rubbed his face carefully, smiled
III a vague kind of a way, as if he
didn't know exactly where the fun
came in, and wondered 'what the
dickens Maria would do under siIni-
lar c C instances"
Bal y put his fist into his mouth,
and looked as if he wondered what his
paterI a ancestor would 90 next.
There, now," exclaimed Jones, i'm
nlEnsely relieved, ''he is papa's pity
i tie sonny, 0 he is"
Sonny promptly resented this by
a long drawn yell, that struck terror to-
the soul of his dismayed parent.
Jones was 1t his wits end. He
grew reckless. He whistled to that
baby he sang be msde faces ; he crt
Il series of antics that would have driv-
en- a ballet-dancer nal with envy; but
all to no purpose. Baby had evidently
taken a contract to furnish 50 much
yell in given time, and was bound
to do the square thing.
When Mrs. Jones returned, she
found a notwithstanding man wan
dering around the house, with u baby
on one arm, while with his disengaged
hand he wiped the perspiration from
his manly brow with tEe tail end Of
the baby's night-dress.
at seems to me-" remarked Mrs
Jones, as she took the baby, ''that men
make great deal Of unnecessary fuss
about putting bubj to sleep. Now,
/"
The front door closed with bang
Jones was on his way down the street
to ''sce a man"