The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1880-03-31
How a Married Woman Goes to Sleep.
TPitfahuro aadar

lP1ttsburg Leader.
There is an article going the rounds en-.
titled How GIRLS Go to Sleep" The man
ner in which they go to sleep, according to
the article. can't hold candle to the way q
married woman goes to sleep. Instead OF
thinking of what she should have attended to
before going to bed, she thinks OF it after
ward. While she is revolving these matters
in her mind, and while snugly tucked up in
bed, the old man is scratching his legs in
front of the fire and wondering how he will
pay the next months rent. Suddenly she
says:
James, did you lock the door,
(Which door," says James.
THE cellar door," says she.
NO" says James.
"Well, you'd better 20 down and lock it,
for I heard some person in the back yard
last night"
Accordingly, James paddles down stairs
and locks the door. About the time James
returns and is going to get into bed she
remarks:
did you shut the stair door,"
mo" says James
"Well," if it is not shut the cat will get up
into the bed room"
Let her come up, then" says James, ILL
naturally.
my goodness, MOI" returns his wife;
shed suck the baby's breath"
Then James paddles down stairs again and
steps on tack, and closes the stair door,
and curses the cat and returns to the bed
room. Just as he begins to climb into his
couch bis wife observes:
81 forgot TO bring up some water. Sup
pose you bring some in the big tin"
And so James, with muttered curse,
goes down into the dark kitchen and falls
over a chair, and rasps all the tinware off
the wall in search of the big" tin, and then
he jerks the stair door open and bowls:
Where the deuce are the matches?"
She gives him minute dir ctiors where to
| find the matches, aud adds that she would
rather 90 and get the water herself than have
the neighbors raised about it. After which
James finds the matches, brochures the water,
comes up stairs and plunges in bed. Pres
emily his wife says:
James, let's have an understanding about
money matters. Now, next week I've got
to pay
Il don't know what you've got to pay, and
don't care" shouts James as he lurches
around and jams his face against the wall /;
''sll want is TO go TO sleep"
That's all very we'll for you" snaps his
wife, as she pulls the covers vlciously; You
never think Of the worry and trouble have.
And there's Araminta. who 1 believe is
taking the measles"
LET her take 'em," says James, sticking
his legs out as straight as two ramrods.
at seems TO me you have no sense nor
/
any respect for me you wouldn't eat onions
before you come TO bed. The atmosphere
of the room from the smell of onions is
/ horrid."
"Well, go down and sleep In the kitchen,
then, and let me alone" says James
Hereupon she begins TO cry softly, but
about the time James Is falling into gentle
doze she punches him in the ribs with her
elbow and says:
ibid you hear that scandal about Mrs.
| Jones?"
What Jones?" says James, sleepily.
why, Mrs. Jones'"
| "Where?p inquiries James.
II declare" says his wife, you are getting
more stupid every day. You know Mrs.
| Jones that lives at No. 81. Well, day before
yesterday, Susan Smith told Mrs. Thompson
that Sam Baker had said that Mrs. Jones
| had
Here she pauses and listens James is
/ snoring in profound slumber. With a snort
OF rage, she pulls all the covers off him,
wraps herself up in them, and lays awake
until a. m, thinking how badly abused she
is. And that is the way married woman
goes 10 sleep