The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-08-28
only question Of time--ashing the

Only a question Of time--asking the
hour.
1t isn't what goes IN but what comes
out Of the inkstond that makes the trouble.
Of you was man, Jimmie" said a lit
tie shaver to his chum, "who would you
vote for, Hancock or Garfeld?" "I'd 60
with the biggest procession, you bet"
Since the Englishmen MS we'll as 1Iessrs.
Lorilard. James Gordon Bennett, ETC., have
found so much virtue In RoBERT'e HoRsE
POWDERS, and have used 1t in such quanu-
ties all persons who are alive TO their inter
ests give 1t TO their horses: whether runners,
trotters, or farm horses, it has wonderful ef-
feet. "a.
A poor truckman in Vermont town
drew the big prizein The lottery it was a
book case, and he drew it from the depot to
the place where the lottery was run.
A IIibernian presented himself at the
corouer's Office yesterday, when an inquest
was in progress. care you juryman?"
asked the officer at the door. "Juryman
Not" was the prompt reply, "I'm an Irish
man."
Mothers don't fail to have SINEs' DYsEN-
Terry COMPOUND on hand. for the relief of
your little baby when attacked with any
Bowel Complaint, it contains no Morphine,
nor Opium, vet its soothing effect will give
the little sufferer so much relief that he VIII
at once fall into a gentle sleep, and give his
mOtheran opportunity to rost,as well as every
provoked bachelor OF the house. 81
"A Chicago man swore great oath that
if neighbor called him liar he would
whip that neighbor. But as it tappeared thai
the neghbor only accused him Of poisoning
COW and abducting child no fight took
place,
A rapid recital of the following narra-
tive is SAID to be an inhllible cure for lisp
ing: "IIobbs meets snobbs and Nobbs;
Hobbs bobs to snobbs and Nobbs; Hobbs
nobs with snobbs and robs Nobbs fobs."
This is says Nobbs, "the worst of Hobbs
Jobs" and snobbs soLs.
We were greatly amused some days since
by seeing one Of our venerable citizens, who
had been bowed down with Rheumatism,
throw away his crutches and declare himself
lust NJ Young as he used to be. and now he Is
recommending Roberts Embrocation 10 every
old lady in town. Great liniment that "a.
-"What do you mean by humbugging,
madam!" asked an ugly barrister Of an old
lady he was ss-questioning. 81 don't
know as can exactly say, sir; but If a lady
was to say to you that You were handsome
man, that would be what I'd call humbug-
ging."
"A fellow once walked out of store in
Gloucester with fish, which he had stolen
tucked under his vest. lie hadn't gone far
with his plunder when he was brought to g
halt by shrewd passer by, who, taking in
the situation at glance, exclaimed; "see
here, my friend, you ought either to wear
longer vests or steal shorter fish"
SINEs' DYsENrERY c CoMroUND.-whe ta-
ken according to directions, will instnntane-
ously care Cramps Spasms Sour Stomach,
Heartburn, Diarrhoea, Dysenter7, Collie, and
all other bowel complaints u94
"A man threw a stone at dog in CAL
weston. An old negro toddled OFT of the
the house and said; dts lucky fonh you,.
white man, dat de Gneral ain't at home."
"What Generol?" "Gen. Dollypimpe OBJ dc
Galbeston divishum oh dc Grand Army ob
occupation OBJ hezzieo. You is foolin' wid
( cyclone, chile"
1t Is sad but true that many children have
filled untimely graves by neglect of their
mothers tohaveSINEs' SYRUP Of TAR, HOAX,
HOUND and WILD CHERRY on hand. Every,
thoughtful mother has bottle this season Of
the year for immediate use. 50.
"A doctor tells with parionoble pride
how, being called IN at the debut of his ca
reer to Consultation with an eminent prince
of science, he had insisted, despite the opin-
ion This famous senior, that the patient bad
an Incurable affection of the heart. "And
what were rny delight and pride" he says
beamingly, "on learning three days later
that my patient had gone of just as had
declared he would"
AT the South End are swo signs, one
above the other, which are very affecting, to
say nothing of the suggestiyeness They aret
'Frcsh Sausage Meat"
"Six Fine Pups for Sale"
And the parent of these poor pups-one can
imagine that the parting between mother
and children must have been hard, cutting
and sharp.
-rravelers should always have a small bot
tie OF SINEs' DYsENTERY COMPOUND for i'm
mediate relief from any Bowel Complaints
guaranteed to tone upthe Stomach at once 10
a healthy condition. 81.
"A mosquito always settles before he
presents his bill,
-"striye to make good impression
wherever you 60" said James as he pulled
his foot out oe the mud.
An Englshman, upon hearing the
cacklng in a poultry yard, exclaimed, "oh5
this is really hen chanting"
"A man who wants partner with cash
capital says there is money in his business.
The trouble is to get Il out
Life is real and life is earnest, when
the buttouef is mislaid, and man is invit-
ed to fasten his wife's boots with his fingers.
Can Ezekiel have had an eye to the
coming byeicle in that vision where be saw
Zone wheel with one cherub and another
wheel with another cherub."
-R99aEET's PouLTRy PowbrRs are guar
anteed 10 cure Poultry OF all diseases, If given
before The fowls refuse 10 eat. sure cure mr.
Cholera. We hsye tried 1t, and advise all 10
use 10. "a
The angel Of midnight-tbe woman
who opens the street door for her husband
when he is trying to unlock the bell knob,
aud then lets him sleep on the hall fioor.
Iii strange what horror or mud q
woman will display when she has got a new
pair of embroidered stockings. She is ter
riby afraid that her new dress viii get
soiled,
1t is very discoura ging 10 the industrioue
farmers wife, rs well as foolish, 70 have her
poultry TO die from Cholera or other disease.
when she can buy Of her druggist RoBEKr's
PoULTEH POWDER for IS cents a package, and
guaranteed TO cure. 81.
Boarding house chicken soup can be
made, it is said, by hanging up a ben in
the sun so that her shadow shall fall into .
pot Of salt and water. The only trouble is
that on a cloudy day the soup is liable to be
weak.
Baby SRVedl
We are so thankful to say that our baby
was permanently cured Of dangerous ani
protracted irraguiarity of the bowels by tho
use OF Hop Bitters by los mother, which az
the same time restored her to perfect health