Litchfield enquirer., 1880-01-15

When cat gives an entertainment from the top of wall, it isn't the cat we object to; it's the waul.
 Rev. Dr. Sloely has gone to heather lands as missionary. The heathens, it is hoped, will not take Dr. Halls advice and eat Sloely Z It is easier fora camel to go through the eye of a sewing machine needle than for.
 anan to swear off at New Years and keep his
 word. s s #ssA@
 Forgot 1t was the first; didn't swear off; got to keep on as a poor miserable drunkard
 for year more; too bad r sighs heart-brok- en man who neglected his chance.
 "What is man to do with his accumulated
 savings?' asks the London Truth. As is usually done. we would advise first to get the savings and vthen-cal around for further particulars. .G--S- s.--s.s-.-
 Young lady to recently married friend: sIs he all you hoped for?" .'Why, of course" Fine felow-genteel ''More than that elegant; he talks like a book. ''Well when you come to volume second, send himtogne
 The young man who invests all of his sur plus cash in heavy ulster at the beginning of iheseason sbeglpning to doubt whetber human wisdom knows anything about tine weather in this world, after all. ~.r. 2 ,-
 q can't trust you" said rumseller to an impoverished customer. You should let liquor alone; if you hadn't drank so much of it you might now be riding in your carriage" ''And if you hadn't sold it, v retorted the victim, you'd have been my driver" ". -l-- -E---- >'--" ''If you marry Grace" exclaimed an rate father to his son, Il will cut you off without cent, and you won't have as much as piece of pork to boil in the pot" ..Well,p replied the young man, "Grace before meat,'' and he immediately went in search of minister.
 A good Rochester pastor, widower, pro- posed to a young lady short time since, but was rejected. His feelings had the second severe test when widow neighbor sent him the following text to preach from: You ask and receive not because you ask miss" James iv., 3. .- !.
 Earnest (six years old) "But, mother dear, is it really true the world was made in six daysT' Mamma. ''Yes, Ernie, and if God had pleased. He could have made it in two days. 1" Ernest (after g. moments considera- l tion). ''Oh, mamma, that would never have done you know; why, we should have had Sunday every other day.r Ss 45E4Sg I
 An old Scotch lady was told that her minis ter used notes, but would not believe it. Said one, "Gang into the gallery and see." She did so, and saw the written sermon. After the luckless preacher had concluded his read ing on the last page, he said, "But will not enlarge The old woman called out from her lofty position, "Ye canna, ye canna, for your papers give out" There was young man of Mendota, "'i Who fondly exclaimed 'Pll devote
 Few lines to my grill"
 hio in This kind of letter he wrote her: -,,.,, l ,''Oh, silver trimmed pearl of Mendota, am not very much of wroter;
 But what have writ, .#" T
 You're the subject of it." And she bounced the unlettered young voter.
 Two of these ornaments made of plaster of Paris favored with sugar were bestowed upon | an urchin, with the usual warning. Don't eat | them, whatever you do; they will poison | you" For some time they were regarded by | him and hIs younger brother with mingled | awe and admiration but at no distant day | the owner, who was just setting forth for school, ''what have Zee done with that fig I ure?' "Giv'd it to Dick" was the reply; | land if he's living when I come I mean to | eat the other one myself, can tell 'ee!" A nI. SuduHCCy Nl.l l1CpCW IohA lnlSToIOly dI l the recent New England dinner: In the Berk- shire hills there was funeral. The woman who mingles curiosity with pity was there with the mourners. To the afflicted widow, in a melancholy voice, she said, ''When did you get your new eight-day clock ?" Il ain't got no new eight day clock p'' responded the bereaved woman. ''Why, what IS that in the corner? Ain't that an eight day clock ?" per sisted the curious visitor. ''No; that aint clock, that's the deceased. We stood it on end in the corner to make room for the mourners. 7"
 ''Say, Mickey" said a small sinner to a friend in the same line of business, as they leaned oversthe rail that surrounds the Eman- j icipation group who's the old file up there p l The second pedal polislier removing an oldloi gar stump from his mouth, responded, Wy, Patsey, that's Linkin." "You don t say so!'r said Patsey, still in the dark, aand what's the moke doin' there?" ,"What is he 8. doin ?'r answered the other with profound; contempt. for his companion's ignorance Why can't yer see he's giyin' Linkin ,l shine Cheese it, Patsey, the cops comin'," and slinging ,theirft boxes over their backs the two art critics dove into Elliot street. geac c cf5c'UF p T