The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-08-17
Tom l8arber's Mistake.

1csJ slr, salu Durly lOm Barber, Of
Iowsontown, to reporter, as he turned up
one of his heavy, hob-nailed boots, and
Knocked the ashes from his pipe, "rvc
been considered for some time bout the
best man in this ERE region, and, ter 70
further, / kin lick the headlights clean
OH 'er any man that bristles his neck -feath-
ers round this part of the country. I've
done 1t IN my time and kin do it again. I
lammcd big Sam Shoeck, of the Hartford
road, till he wasn't no morc'n half man,
and as for that feller out at Govanstown
that evrybody said could fix me up, why,
met him one day when both of us were
purity full, and cooped HIM like abar'l.
just tell you l amt no slouch-it's all sci.
ence-and If you doubt the strength of my
arm, why just"
''rhanks, thanks" SAID the reporter hur~
riedly; 'don't rise on my account. The
fact is, am not Il pugiistic character. Yes,
ycs-that is, you were saying
"Why, was saying" resumed the
giant, slapping his chest, that the boys out
here all havegrudges against me for knock
downs at various times, an they put up the
mcancst jobs on me bout the time that fcler
Miller was n trainln' for walk with the
Scotchman, Ross. You see, didn't know
Miller from side of e-lenther-hadn't
never seen him-and one day l walked into
Jake Simms' place down thar near the car
track, and there wuz gang of the boys III
the saloon, drinSin' an fooln' aroun an
right stout 'lookin' chap hadn' never see
before was a-showin johnny Marce some
sort O. foolish little kinks with the gloves
an Johnny was a-pluggln' away at him, but
couldn't tech him. | thought 1t wuz one O.
these darned city chaps come out here
and, bcin' little pert that way myself, !
fooliu' away like dunghill chickens kickin'
up the dirt and sort O lcant over to Sam
Johnson and whispered as how would like
to give that city chap II lille turn. Sam
yrinncd Il few, an turned an hollercd to
the boys an the big fcllcr that Big Tom
wanted to put 'cm on with the stranger
They all burst out latin, but I thought it
wuz at the idcc of seein' nc set him down
on the floor with my old undcrllandcr So,
got up, stripped of my coat, let downmy
galuscs, an' got the Duckskins on. The
other fcllcr was intcrduccd rs Mr.. Thomp.
son, an then pulled Off his coat. | seed he
hadn't Oh nOthin' but a sort O undcrshirl,
an oil that he WIZ right sharp built about
the arms an chest, but didn't think for II
mnnit who twas, though now wonder
how could a-madc such dog -goncd fool
of myself, sccin' rs how had hcercd bout
the walkin' match, and sum OF the boys had
been sayin' that Miller was goin' to walk
out to town every evening Well, any how,
we came to time, the stranger sortcr smilin'
an a-sllngin' his arms around 'thout any
guard-sorter crazy likc-an' l let out at
him with some rip snortcrs; but somehow
they didn't quite reach him, COZ he was
kinder shy, and dodged his head away. lie
ddn' hit back, aud thought wuz a. tax.
ing his gall from the fust; SO | went at
him like good 'un, and was givln him the
best III the shop. couldn't hit him, COZ
he kept kcepin' away, but he was smilin',
50 kinder got mad. Once or twice he let
out, sorter timid like, with his left, and
touched mo ON the nose, and that made me
worse ; 50 fixed to gin him a right t-handcr
and was comm at him with my whole
weight, when he kinder lodged his head
to one side, and my fist went past his head,
but my nose brought up against his tisl
sandcd floor with bloody nose, and all
the fcllcrs wuz just a-kilin' themselves
a-nudgln' one another an laffln', sot
there, sortcr stuntcd-liltc, when the stran-
ger, latlln' tit to bust, says: %, git up man,
you amt half licked yeti but told him
had 'nough, and was then introduced to
Professor William Miller. Well! you
could a-knockcd me down will, feather.
just to think::I had been stagging away at
old Miller, thinking he was some softy, aud
had been wonderin' why couldn't hit him
as did the town gawks. Well, we WIZ
the best of friends after that, and rs the old
boy used ter walk out here every eveniu',
why, we met oftencr aftcrward, but never
again with gloves on. Thank you! A
little whisky 'thout any water or sugar
in it,"