Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-01
"FRIENDLY TO ST. PAUL"

SOeA~~~
seen the base uses to which his name would
be put, be would probably have been will
ing to have foregone the renown which at
tended the discovery Of America. How
many times he has made his coffin rattle
with rage over the nomenclature Of idiots
who bear his distinguished name may never
be known. And still the bursting bean
pod that gave the world and
immortality General Christopher Columbus
Andrews has perhaps furnished a man whose
discoveries will prove little less surprising
than those of his namesake. This modern
Christopher Columbus however much the
original may be ashamed that he bears his
name) is discoverer of no mean talent
Years ago he invented process by which
the east wind could be drawn from each
individual bean with an Andrews cork
screw, aud the article thereby be made a
safe and wholesome diet regardless of time,
or quantity taken. This discovery has been
the wonder of savans ever since, and there
is talk of an international commission to de-
termine whether cyclones cannot be traced
to the too free use Of the Andrews wind ex-
tracing cork-screw. The sudden yanking
of the wind from thousand beans cannot
but create an atmospheric disturbance, and if
the Swans should report against it, it may be
necessary to hang the inventor to prevent
the further propagation of the wind ex-
tractor.
A second discovery which stamps the
modern Christopher Columbus as no ordin-
airy genius is announced in the eminent
evening paper upon which he delights to
lavish his surplus Swedish pocket money.
He announces that Bill Washburn sis a
friend Of st. Paul. and to verify this, de-
clares that he favored the Improvements
at Fort Smelling. That is discovery
which would bes worthy of the original
Christopher. It is true that the Washburn
gang hired this modern Christopher Colum-
bus, for the sum of $1,000, to run for Con-
gress in 1868. 1t is also true that the Wash.
burn family inflicted him upon Sweden for
eight years, where, by living upon the cheap
herring with which that region of country
abounds, he saved some $40, 1000 for the pur-
pose of establishing model evening paper
in st. Paul. Of course we would not be
base enough to insinuate that any pecuniary
motive led to this discovery, but it is posi-
BILE that it might have turned his mind in that
directinu IT, ia not uncommon for ;rd;x,;d
uals, corporations. and even nations, to offer
pecuniary rewards for some much desired dis.
covery. This is done with a view of induo-
ing men to turn their thoughts In
given direction and compensate them for
their wear and tear of mind and body il sue
cessful. No one can doubt that the wear
and tear on even such an infnitesimal mind
as this modern Christopher Columbus pos
sesses, must have BEEN very great when he
was evolving from its innermost recesses
the profound problem that Bill Washburp.
the bride giver and corruptionist, is friendly
to st. Paul.
The proof, TOOLS go overwhelming and con.
elusive. He (the bride giver) favored tie
improvements at Fort Smelling. 1t does not
matter that the bribs giver is one of the
gang OF real estate Spectators
who own large tract of land around the
fort 1t does not mattei that the govern
ment appropriation benefits these speou-
lstors as much as though they had placed
the actual greenbaoks in their pockets. It
does not matter that Fort Smelling is as
near Minneapolis, the bride giver and cor
ruptionist's home, as 1t is to st. Paul. A
discoverer could not be expected to take &C.
count of these little unconsidered trifes.
Neither could discoverer be expected to
remember that by the bride giver's insolent
confession sent to the st. Paul chamber of
commerce, he did nothing In favor of the
so-called "saw dust" bill which was the one
measure before Congress last winter of
greater interest to st. Paul than all other
proposed legislation combined. Yhe BRIDE
giver confessed in his insolent letter
that he labored for the reservoir system
and secured large appropriation
therefore, system which is simply de-
signed to furnish water all the year around
for the bride giver aud other mill owners at
Minneapolis. The bride giver did not state
in his insolent letter that he not only did
not support or aid the "sawdust'' bill, which
is vital to st. Paul and on which rests a
large portion OF our future prosperity. but
that he went about secretly urging its defeat.
This is evidence of the bribe giver's
''friendliness to st. Paul." which even so
distinguished dscoverer as the Swedish