, 1880-05-02
LOCAL ITEMS.

y the great army OF pedestrians IMAM 10 1olQ II
: army at West Point.
"Oh! mister" said an old lady after bicyc
Q had passed her, "just now seed a wago
t wheel runnin' away with q man. You kin bt
lieve it or not / wouldn't If hadn't seed
: myself"
"Another old settler goner' exclaimed th
cook when she tossed the egg-sheu out Of th
> ! coffee pot on moving day.
Messrs. c. P. Kimball 1: Co. report sales fo
April the largest they have ever had, the ca
. being mostly for their own fine work and tha
of Brewster, Killam & Hooker. They sold thre
fine Landaus and elegant Laudaulet Rockawa
and several single carriages on yesterday; 81
ii their stock holds out, May sales will e1cee
those Of April Theirs Is a case where first
class goods and honest dealing brings an earl
reward.
Out in Nevada school trustee had just go
everything fixed to run away with the school
| fund, when to his Indignation he found that ths
other trustee had squandered every dollar Of it
! He says now the world is too full Of thieves ant
scoundrels for an honest man to have any kint
! Of a chance
b1r. Marccllus Simmons, who went out in ths
plated taking stock in the Nevada silver Mining
from Austin, New, to the eject tbat he lads The
the Company more than fulfilled In every par
tcular. He says that he found the tunnels
shafts and - tnenes nl in good order and best Of
| AA4 w
make good-sized brick Of pure silver. which he
/ will bring back with him. He also sent an order
ington street, for :oo0 shares more Of the stock
| for himself. He visited the six mines of the
Company, a pps, and makes very aattertng report Of
A5~ycar-old daughter of one of our citizens
observed to him, in the presence Of company, at
| breakfast: " You mustn't go OF without kissing
me, papa" ;" never forget to do it, do II" he
asked, surprised. . You may not forget 1t, but
sometimes you 80 on mad, you know" she art
| coffee.
Tbousands of inyalids who would ind it i'm
possible to spend season at Wnukesha owe
aer to ne daily spR Of the sen
Blocki, the sole agents
| Antony" said Cleopatra to her lover, Ut
| attended Mrs Pharaohs kettledrum this after
noon; Now how do YOU think they started the
wheel Of conversation there?" " Some fellows
spoke suggested Antony, as he placed his feet
on the manteL "K K--kwite korrect," added
Cleopatra
Now is the time to 60 and order one Of those
nobby driving coats that Turner, IS Madison
street, Is making.
Allen, of the New York Times, says that the
nun who wishes to break of the habit Of smok-
Ing should postpone the lighting of his first
cigar five minutes each day. In this way the
hour for beginning to smoke will be gradually
put on until after he has Rone to bed and got
4 magnificent line Of balbriggan hosiery and
underwear, specialties manufactured expressly
for Messrs. Brown s. Prior, arrived at New York
now on exhibition at their splendid establish
ment, 1G3 Wabash avenue.
An OIL City man calls his wife the red, white,
and blue because she has red hair, white teeth,
and blue eyes. 1t might also be incidentally
mentioned thnt when he sees her head sticking
out of II window at midnight he knows at once
TINT the flag means signal Of danger.
Chicagos fayorte caterer, Mr. John Wright,
has returned from Europe after an absence Of
three months, md, with new ideas in the cater
ing art Is ready to serve his patrons In his usual
faultless style.
The Philadelphia Chronicle Herald says: The
reason why women have little or no success at
fishing is because but Il few of them possess
teeth so that they can use both hands in getting
the hook out Of their back hair.
Words cannot express the gratitude Of the |
ladies who have been relieved BY DR.. DUngers |
cinchona rubra Treatment from the miseries
caused by nervous prostraton and female weak |
ness.
When Boston young lady ts asked whether
she will go to hear lecture "On Autozouc or
impulsiyely replies: 80, to the lecture, BY ali
means"
Old bachelors lose their hearts when looking at
those loycly cbildren's photographs at Joshua
Smiths, 206 North Clark street
4 sagacious Philadelphia house-owncr refuses
to let his buildings to merchants who don't ad-
vertise. He says that the only way to collect his
rent is to sell them cut, and even then their |
stocks are too old and shelf-worn to pay for the
trouble. |
The Chtckcring pianos are taking the lead in
this section as well as in the East, where they
have long stood without rival.
There are two kinds Of oranges grown in this
country: one is the kind that Is good to eat, aud
the other is the kind that is sold on the railway
trains.
Messrs. 0rvis j. PGulson, manu- acturers Of the |
0rvis noke-cousumer, have removed from No, |
$ washington street to their new Offices at Nos,
LOB and l1U Dearborn street.
Down in Nebraska the man who fools with n |
run to see If it Is loaded and pops over an old |
,rinnd escapes lynching only when no one can
Ind rope
Waves and frizzettes Mt Thome's Hair Bazaar,
% state street, are warranted to retain their !
url In the warmcst weather.
Are there any people on Mars?' asks an ex- |
hangc. We don't know: but assuming for the |
axe Of argument that theru ure, is 1t your opinion
hat they use oleomargaEine or cow butter? I
Cooks arc immensely pleased with our new
French Range" J. D. Bangs & Co., State and
IAN Buren,. .
Thone leads the fashion In hair goods.
a Savannah man invented a water yclocfpede !
nd thereby won the everlasting gratitude Of the !
bark who took in both inventor and invention, r
A Nebraska widow went out upon the hfph- i
ny to rob travellers and get money to buy seed T r
'aeat, but the first passer happened to bc |
1do"er and she compromised by marrying him. :
He asked Cincinnati belle II there was much I
elnement and culture In that city, and she re- r
lied; You just bet your boots we're q cult !
Laughton e. Co., 1S7 Washington street, manu- :
acture Gossamer Rubber clothing. Call and sea
lem. Il