Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-11-26
Detroit Currency.

Detroit Currency.
The man who looks for big peaches
at the bottom of basket is too con6d-
ing for this tricky world.
Bell, of telephone fame, could have
taken $40, 900 for his invention, but he
held on and made million.
Find man in this country who isn't
ready to back his assertions with bet
and you'll find that he isn't an Amori-
can.
One of the meanest things man can
do is to break out of new boiler
plated Jail which has cost the taxpayers
$4,000.
The New York Commercial Adver-
tiser says that lots of men in this coun-
try never know that they are alive I'M
til they get ready to die.
Three weeks of surf-bathing is said
to grow an entire new skin on the end
of a wonan's nose, while its only effect
on man is to harden his corns.
Cider will be so cheap in Michigan
this fall that most every person will be
compelled to turn his stomach into a
gallon jug to help hold the supply.
An Englishman thinks it curious
thing that we drive horses in this coun-
try to get out all their speed, and yet
use hold-backs on every one of them.
In all the researches at Pompeii men
have failed to come across one single
sign Of" No Trust" Those were the
days. for an honest man to live in.
When "Dr." Buchanan, of Phila.
delphia, was shaken up, the tremor ex-
tended to about 5000 doctors who are
killing sick people on his printed Ii
censes.
Sothern comes to this country with
funereal play and everybody laughs
over it. Raymond goes over there with
bright comedy and Englishmen sit
and weep.
You can disguise the nail marks of
petty shortcomings, but you can't
putty the knotholes in the fence of
mean disposition Williamsport
Breakfast Table.
The Concord School of Philosophy
won't admit women over ninety years
of age to its classes, though no one
wants to be a philosopher until too old
for anything else.
Michigan has nearly 4, 1000 telephones
which are crying Hello !" on an aver
age of ten times per day. Forty thou.
sand " hellos!" per day is good enough
record for any State,
The little smoke. stained angels of
Madagascar are playing mumblety peg
with American jack. knives, and the
Arab Of the desert trims his beard with
shears made in Connecticut.
| The Duke of Wellington has made
an inventory of his silver plate and
finds that it foots up 81, 500, 900. Such
asplendid opportunity to start u pawn
shop should not be neglected.
Men who cannot whistle would die in
year it cast away on an uninhabited
island. A whistler would live from
twenty to thirty years. and the island
would TEEN with peace and plenty.
When Jim Keene figured up that he
had lost a round million dollars in the
wheat traffic he sent out and bought O
box Of cigars costing 500. Some Of
us would have wilted right down to q
clay pipe.
The King of Bavaria is the right sort
of man; his money has established
twenty-one brass bands. What is life
without music, and where is any bet.
ter music than that furnished by good
brass band?
When the press of this country will
do one half the free advertising for d
widowed seamstress that it will for ar
immoral actress, great start will be
made toward furnishing up the jewel
of consistency.
The Detroit Free Press man is writ.
ing delicious bit of autobiography
called " EARLY life in the Michigan
State Prison" - Boston journal
Couldn't you keep still until your de-
partment had been reached?
Olive Logan Gays that the first duty
OF girl On finding herself ugly-lookinp
and ungainly is to cultivate such q
sweet temper that some one will be Ger.
tain to marry her. Olive forgets tina,
we buy eggs on sight.
The husband who mysteriously dis.
appears for years and turns up after his
wife is comfortably settled down with
another man has always been and al.
ways will be until the public begin rid.
ing him on rail, instead of weeping
over him.
To SELECT NUTMEGs.--Prick them