The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1880-04-30
"APRIL.FOOL ~


ssAPRIL.FOOL ~
THERE was one boy in the Merritt
Academy who never joined in any of
the games; never went skating; never
went swimming; never made snow
man or threw snow-balls; never came
to the meetings of the debating society,
where such questions as, eff a fellow
ask fellow for bite of a fellows ap-
pie, which is the potter way to give it
to a fellow-to bite off piece your
self, or let fellow bite for himself?''
were debated with much mock gravity
and real fun.
He looked with horror on all kinds
of fighting; had no admiration for
great Generals; thought war should be
abolished; shuddered at tales of cruelty
and suffering; was constitutionally
timid and extremely credulous; hated
thunder and lightning; liked birds,
flowers, pretty verses and fairy tales;
believed in ghosts and supernatural
beings; was very fair-haired, very blue
eyed, tall, slender, and was named
Harold Lord. But after the first week
or two of his attendance at school-he
was day scholar-his real name was
never heard, for his school-mates,
quickly finding out his peculiar char
acteristics, skillfully turned it into
"Lady Harriet" and Lady Harriet he
remained for many long year. Of
course, being so girlish in his appear
ance, ways and tastes, and of so re-
served and gentle disposition, the
other boys rather looked down upon
him, and, after the manner of boys,
made him the subject of much chaff
and many practical jokes; and so it
came about when Charley Bennett and
Ned Morningstar and Hen Rowe began
on the afternoon of the 31st of March
to talk about the LIST of April, they hit
upon Lady Harriet as boy who would
make a capital "April-fool.''
"We can have no end of fun with
him. said Charley. ssYou know he
lives all alone with his grandmother
"A Little Red Ridinghood," inter-
rupted Hen Rowe.
'.-down by the cedar woods" con-
tinued Bennett. 'tBut the question
now in order is, what kind of fun shall
1t be?''
"Dress up like Indians, and pretend
you're goin' to scalp him." proposed
little Al Smith, who had joined the
party-a thing no other small boy in
that establishment would have dared to
do; but then Alfred, as his aunt called
him-and very cross old aunt she
was, too-had no father nor mother,
and was such a good-natured, willing,
reliable young chap that his older
school-mates made quite get of him,
and allowed him many liberties they
would have allowed to no one else in his
class.
"Nonsense, Smithey," said Hen
Rowe. ''Ghosts is the thing" and strik-
ing an attitude, he quoted:
"'I am thy fathers spirit;
Doomed for certain term to walk the night;
1n ~ord
Would harrow up thy soul: fre-e-e-ze thy
MAJ young blood;
That's quite enough of that, Rowe"
said Bennett. "A band of young des-
peradoes is my idea. The papers are
full of 'em Just now-fellows living in
caves and other queer places, and rob-
bling right and left (result Of reading
too many dime novels, heard the Pro-
lessor say so this morning). Been
round here, too; stole Uncle Jeff's calf
day before yesterday; and his grand
mother goes to sewing society tO-mor-
row night"
1.-The calls grandmother" asked
Hen Rowe.
Didn't know you had any grand
MOTHER" said Bennett.
"Charley's hit on the very thing"
declared Ned Morningstar. "We'u let
three or four other fellows into the joke,
and I'll be Captain, and We'll wear
masks, and all the old clothes we can
beg, borrow, or take, and get ourselves
up prime as a No. band of reg'lar
young villains. Aha: your money or
your ifer' making a lunge at small Al.
"But you won't really hurt Lady
Harrietr' said the little fellow, an
anxious look coming into his soft brown
eyes. :He's good to me. and gives
me candy, and took me fishin' once"
TOOK you fishin'r' repeated Char
ley Bennett, counterfeiting the greatest
astonishment. "f he did, I'll bet he
never let you catch a fish. He'd
arfainted when he saw it a-wriggling on
the hook"
HE did, too,' answered AL, stout.
". 81 caught four. and six crabs, and
he got eight" adding, frankly, "blt
he said he didn't like to catch them,
only his grandmother said he must
livery reprehensible old lady," said
Hen Rowe, gravely, "to allow her
ns,eooASxo..r. Eol, 70 L. Il