Mexico weekly ledger. (Mexico, Mo.) 1855-1956, 1880-04-08
How a Married woman Goes to s,eep.

"~ ""rheu woman Goes to Sleep.
There is an article going the rounds
entitled s'How Girls 70 to Sleep."
The manner in which they go to sleep,
according to the article, can't hold
candle to the way q married woman
goes to sleep. Instead OF thinking of
what she should have attended to be-
fore going to bed, she thinks of 1t af-
terward. While she is revolving these
matters in her mind, and while snugly
tucked up in bed the old man is
scratching his legs in front of the fire
and wondering how he will pay the
next months rent. Suddenly she
says:
"James did you lock the loor?'
"Which door"' says James.
'The cellar door," says she.
"No," says James.
swell, you'd better 60 down and
lock it, for l heard some person in the
back yard last night"
Accordingly, James paddles down
stairs and locks the door. About the
time James returns and is going to
get into bed, she remarks:
'Did you shut the stair door?''
"No," says James.
"Well, if it is not shut the cat will
get up into the bedroom
s'Let her come up, then," says
James, ill-naturedly.
'My goodness, mol" returns his
wife, ''she'd suck the baby's breath!"
Then James paddles down stairs
again and steps on tack, and closes
the stair door, and curses the cat, and
returns to the bedroom. Just as he
begins to climb into his couch, his
Iwife observes:
! 81 forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring some in the big
ltln."
| And so James, with q muttered
curse, goes down into the dark kitchen
and falls over chair, and rasps all
the tinware off the wall in search Of
the ''big" tin, and then he jerks the
stair door open and howls:
"Where the deuce are the matches?"
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather go and get the
water herself than have the neighbors
raised about it. After which James
fnds the matches, procures the water,
zones up stairs and plunges in bed.
PRESENTLY his wife says:
"James, let us have an understand
ing about money matters. Now, next
week I've got to pay"
81 don't know what you've got to
pay, and don't care," shouts James,
as he lurches around and jams his
face against the wall; ''all 1 want is
to go to Sleep"
'sThat's all very we'll for you,"
snaps his wife, as she pulls the COW
ers viciously; lyon never think Of
the worry and trouble have. And
there's Aramlnta, who, 1 believe, is
taking the measles" -.....-
ssLet her take 'em," sticking his
legs out as straight as two ramrods.
cit seems to me you have no sense
nor feeling" whines his wife; land
if you had any respect for me you
wouldn't eat onions before you come
to bed. The atmosphere of the room
from the smell of onions is horrid."
"Well, go down and sleep in the
kitchen, then, and let me alone,"
says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly,
hut about the time James is falling
into a gentle doze she punches him in
the ribs with her elbow, and says:
s'Did you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Jones?'
"What Jones p says James, sleep
lily.
"Why, Mrs. Jones'" 81.
"Where?" inquiries James.
81 DECLARE" says his wife, "you
are getting more stupid every day.
You know Mrs. Jones that lives at
No. 21. Well day before yesterday,
Susan Smith told Mrs. Thompson
that Sam Baker had said that Mrs.
Jones had"
Here she pauses ana listens. James
is snoring in profund slumber. With
snort OF rage she pulls all the covers
off him, wraps herself up in them and
lays awake until 2 q. m, thinking
how badly abused she is. And this
is the way married woman goes to
sleep. .'a