St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-02-20
Squibs.

oAoAbS.
An inquisitive Westtield chap is anx-
ious to know if LongfellOw had in mind
a Ute chief when he wrote "This is the
forests prime evil"
A proud man who had failed ia busi-
ness, and found his assets would pay
only Is cents on the dollar, insisted for
the looks of the thing on paying 25 even
if,he had to make up the difference out
of his own pocket.
1t is supposed to be smart man who
knows on which side his bread is but
tered, although anybody can easily find
out by dropping it [Danbury News.
The salary of the Car is S17.40
minute. 1t seems good pay when one
does not remember that his principal
occupation is that of being shot at by
some of his beloved subjects New
Orleans Picayune.
He was young fellow in the hard
ware line. One day, when the boss was
at dinner, Il cOuntryman came in to buy
some nuts. He found an article that
suited him, and wanted dozen. Young
Blake looked at the price list and
found they were listed ''25 cents dOz-
en-, 80 off" He gave low, inverted
whistle, and then, with a sudden inspi-
ration, he handed the customer five
cents and told him he could buy the
nuts at the other store. ''By George"
he said, when he was telling the gov
ernor of the transaction, 81 thought the
best thing l could do was to save the
nuts, auywhow."-[Bur. Hawkeye.
The mysteries of baby's toilet were
altogether new to a little four-years-
old, and he carefully watched the bath
ing and dressing of his little cousin.
When the little powder-bOx was open,
and the fluffy brush was about to be
used underneath the baby's chin he ex-
CLAIMED, "Oh, aunty, let me see you salt
her, New Haven Register.
Little Willie Ito Mr.. Jones, who is
quite attentive to Willie's widowed
mammal: "Mr. Jones, how did you
come to have such bald head of hair 2"
Mr.. Jones (who is not as dry as he looks
and has been in the fur trade) "Why,
Willie, / neglected it one season, and
the moths got into it,"
Longphiz is inclined to low spirits at
times. In one of these spells the other
day he grumbled: "This is dreary
world. That's one reason hate doc
tors. They helped to bring me into it."
Here he stopped, but Frightening up
moment later, he added: "However,
they help US out of it in the end; so
they are not SO bad, after alp Boston
Transcript.
A young lady who came in last week
to advertise for kitchen help, said with
sigh and wiring of her dainty gloved
hands "Oh, l do hope we'll get one
soon. For it does almost break my
heart to see mother wash dishes, with
her rheumatism o."-McGregor News.
When Marshal Narvaez, it is related,
was on his death-bed, his confessOr
asked him if .he freely forgave all his
enemies. 81 have no enemies" replied
must have made enemies in the course
of his life," suggested the priest, mild
ly. "Oh, of course" replied the mar
shal, 81 have had great number of
enemies in my time, but l have none
now. l have had them all shot!"
Here is an amusing bit of ecclesiasti-
cal tit-fOr-tat Two young men were
chums and intimate friends in college.
| One became Baptist minister, the 9th
er an Episcopalian. They did not meet
again for years. When they did, it was
in the pulpit of the Baptist, for whom
the Episcopalian preached, to the great
satisfaction of the congregation. Ser
mon over, the two divines ducked their
heads behind the breastwork of the
preaching desk, and held the following
collOquy: "Fine sermon, Tom much
obliged. Sorry l can't repay your kind
ness for preaching by asking you to
stay to our communion. Can't though,
you know, because you have never been
baptised." "Oh, don't concern yourself
about that, Jim. ] couldn't receive the
communion at your hands, as you have
never been ordained. p Boston Tran
script. ...
Col. Dwight Morris, the genial demo-
cratic leader of the House from Bridge
port, tells good story at his own ex-
pense concerning the fall election in bis
town, at which time he was elected to
his present post. He says that late
electiOn-day afternoon one of the party
workers came to him with the request
that he send for -- to come to the
polls and vote, as the contest was a
close one. "Send for said the
colonel "nOt much. He is lifelong
republican, as was his father before
, him. I've known him from boyhood. ,
"YOu mistake" said the politician. 'Tt
E is true that - has ALWAYS been a
republican, but he failed in business 8
year ago, and his neighbors say it wasn'
an honest failure. Anyhow since then he
has taken to drinking and he votes with
us, now" The man was sent fOr.-
, Hartford Cor. Springfield Republican
A countrywoman stopped some tel
minutes in front of store in Springfield
e to gaze at patent ly-trap in opera
a ton, which was pretty well filled, ant
after studying the placard, So, intently
, moved on, after piping out, "Tew dol
D lars wouldn't give tew cents for al
r the flies in Springfield"
: A Long Island Dutchman, in readin
!. an account of meeting in New YOr
: City, came to the words, "The meetiu
e then dissolved.r He could not defin
the meaning of the last, so he referre,
: to his dictionary, and felt satisfied. 1
: a few minutes friend came in, whe
e the Dutchman said, "Dey must hay
is very hot Vedder in New York rot q