The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-06-10
e. e l.
(. HdW sHE GoEs TO SLEEP.

There is ai, article going tho rounds
untitled elbow Girls Go to Steep."
The manner IN which they go to sleep,
according to tho article, cont hold q
candle to tho way u married woman
goes TO sleep. lmstcad Of thinking OF
what She should have attended to be-
fore going to bed, shc thinks of itat-
tcrwnrd. While sho is revolving these
matters in her mind, and while snuylv
tucked in bed, the old man is scratch
ing his legs III front Of the fire, and
wondering how he will pay the next
months r0nt, Suddenly she SAYS;
"James, did you lock the door?"
(Which door?"
"Thc ocllar door," says sho.
"NO," says James.
"Wcll, you'd better go down and
lock it, for | heard some one in tho
back yard last night"
Accordingly, James paddles down
stairs and locks the door. About tho
time James returns, and is going TO get
into bed, she remarks:
"t)id you shut the stair doorT'
"No," says James.
"Well, if it is not shut, the cat will
get up into the bed-rnom."
"Let her come up, them" said James
ilI-naturcdIy.
"A1y goodness, mop returns the
wife, "shc'd suck the baby's b cath.
Then James paddles down stairs
gain, and steps on a tack, and closes
thc stair door, and curses the cat, and
returns tn the bedroom. just as he
begins to climb into his couch his wifo
observes:
III forgot to bring up somo water.
Suppose you bring somo in the big
TIM"
And SO James, with a muttcrcd
curse, goes down into the dark kilch-
cn, and falls over u chair, and rasns all
the tinware off the wall, in search of
the "hig" tin, and then ho jerks the
stair door open and howls:
"Whcrc the CO G. arc the ms 'cl.es?'
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather go and get the
water herself than have the neighbour
hood reused about it. After which
James finds the matches, procurcs the
water, comes up stairs and pluIgcs
into bed. Presently his wife says:
FLAMES, let's have an understanding
about money matters. Now, next
week Eve got to pay,
81 don't know what you've got TO
pay, and | don't care" shouts james,
as he lurchcs around and jams his face
against the wall call l want is to go
to Sleep"
'"That's all very well for you" snaps
his wife, as sho pulls the covers
viciously, "you never think of the wor-
ry and trouble have. And there's
Aramcnta, who L believe is taking the
measles"
"Lct her take 'em" says James.
sticking his legs out rs straig ght as two
ramrods.
"It seems to me YOU have no sense
or feeling" whincs his wife, "and II
you had any respect for me you would
not eat onions before you come to bed.
The atmosphere OF the room from the
smell Of onions is horrid,
"Woll, go down and s.ccp in the
Kitchen, then, and let nc alonc," says
james.
Ucrcupon she begins TO cry softly,
but about the time James is falling into
a gentle dozc she punches linn in the
ribs with her elbow, and says:
"Did you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Joncs?'
"What Jones" says James, slccpily.
"Why, Mrs. Jones'"
"Wherc" inquiries James.
~ DECLARE" says his wife, "you arc
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No. 21.
Well, day before yesterday, Susan
Smith told Mrs. Thompson that Sam
Baker had said that Mrs. Jones had'-
Hero she pauscs and listens. James
. is snoring in profound slumbcr. With
sort of rage she pulls all the covers
off him, wraps herself up in them and
lays awake until a. m., thinking how
badly abused she is. And that is the
way married woman goes to sleep.