The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-05-06
PASSING SMILES.


a. IN.
A MIIsFITTING coat is lie out of the
whole cloth.
How long does widower mourn for
his wife? For a second.
The hen knows the man who robs her
nest. She is always laying for him.
A DOG which won't run from an ele-
phant will break his back to get away
from an oyster can.
LOVERS who never quarrel and de-
mand them letters and photographs"
back are not taking real solid comfort.
A QUEER old hen declined an invita-
tion to gander party recently, for the
reason that the ganders did not belong
to her set.
"Now, this is what I call business"
remarked Brooklyn undertaken, as an
unfortunate gentleman stepped into his
store and died.
AN exchange speaks of the "reboom-
itizatioh." The fine for shooting the
English language full of holes has got
to be increased
TRYING to do business without adver-
tising is like winking at girl in the
dark. You may know what you are
doing, but nobody else does.
A MAN who offered for So to put any
one on the track of paying investment
seated al applicant between tho rails of
the Boston and Albany Railroad.
COME here, loving wife of mine,
Sit on my knee my dear,
And sew this cOllar-button on
Before bust your ear.
THREE days after a baby is born every
body says, Ketchetty, ketchetty,'
and digs its ribs with a fore6nger.
Hence the prevalence of ill.temper in
adults.
A MICHIGAN boy committed suicide
because his mother scolded MIN for
smoking. It's cheerful to remember
that there is another world where every
body smokes.
WORTH makes the man, hut it takes a
wheelwright to make the felloe.-Hack-
insack Republican. Spoke in like a gen.
tleman. How proud your wife must be
of her hubV'
JUST bear this truth in mind boys,
and ponder at your will: It's better 70
owe your tailor forever than beat him
out Of his bill, And that's what the
boys are doing.
"PHAT will ye do, Dennis, avic, when
the Chinase 60? Will ye wurrak~
"Wurrak, is it? The divil wurrak,
when | can get enufi omadhauns to pay
me for bowling"
A GERMAN traveller in Africa char
acterizes a people he came across as Gin
tensely black, dolichocephalic, and pla-
tyrhine, prognathous, dichotomatic and
dolichodoctylic.'
KEENNEss of taste is great thing. A
Buffalo man who drank glass of
whisky in Albany said he thought there
was no trouble with the liquor, but that
there had been water in the tumber.
It's easy! BY reversing dog, we
make god BY reversing rat, we
make tarl By reversing pot, we
make a top! But, show us the man who
does not get mad when there is dam to
be reversed.
A JUNIOR was heard to remark on a
recent Sunday, after Professor had
preached an eloquent sermon: " That
was a splendid sermon. Gad A hun.
dred and eight single gestures and thlr-
teen dOuble!'
ANNETTA, am going to have COM
pany," says belle of the Rue Breda to
her maid, "and want you to 90 to the
fish market and get some fish, some of
the best" "Yes'm." "Only don't buy
them from ma-she'll swindle you"
MOTHER, is my chgnon perfect2
Shape my panerfx my sash
JOhnny's coming in the cleaning,
And want to make mash.
-Otara Republican.
He sat beside her on an old sofa, and
one of the wire coils shot up through
the covering, punctured his garments,
and went in among the nerves and
things. She thought he was becoming
insane when he jumped six feet into the
invisible ether and yelled "the spring
has come, by Jove"
A YOUNG actress urges her friend,
Count x, to give her a splendid brace,
let she had long set her mind upon pos
sessing. ''Pll give it to you," says the
Count, finally, "but on.one condition
you must never wear it on the stage.
My wife might see it if you did" "Oh,
| see--and raise a row?' "No; make
me buy her one like it."
1T is queer how folks dream. The
other night man dreamed he stood at
the gate of heaven and asked Peter If
the souls of the rich ever got in there.
eyes," was the reply. at is supposed
that the souls'of great many rich people
have got in here. Many of them are so
small we have not been able to invent
any way to keep them out"
Newspaper Libel Suits.