, 1880-05-01
PERSONALS.
"Oysters and I are out.''-Aprlt.

"Oysters and are out,''-Aprl1.
A. tramp Is never known by his works, but
q matchmaker Is.
81 have burned my boom behind 1ne, and
must conauor or lio.''-Jo'sn Sherman.
DR.. Mary Walkers father died recently
near oswcKo. N. x. Like Mary, he wore pants
William Snonk, Of Charleston, $. G., 10 n
yours oil. 1Io will soon po curling up grucc.
fully.
Mr. and Mrs. Dickinson, Of Sheffield, o..
have Just celebrated their diamond wctldsng. II
is hnrdly necessary tq say 1t was IL brilliant af.
fair.
A Kansas weekly publishes "fourtecn
rules to bo observed during Il tornalo." We can
gly1 ono that wilt beat tlem ull; Moyo out tof
Kansas.
Professional teartaster8 get as high as 500 !
per month, Tho hulk Of nmntour tea-tasteTa
would satisfied to got littlo rcal tea onco In
q while.
"ulgh School Professor "-You win the
money. The Thomus Jefferson who wruto tho :
Declaration Of Independence Is not tho Tho1aas
Jefferson TINT hns record OF 2::sJ.
fI1Ye nre inclined to think that the story
about Scnator Davis, OF Virginia, now mill
1onnirc, having started III life as a ra!iroad
bFakcsnnn must ho Il mtstako. II 1t was con-
duotor, things would be dfEorent
~. A.. Froudo o"-Your Joke about bangs
being fashionable on tho Fourth Of july, Is 100
thin to pny Il CENTS for. You and Tcnnyson
have bcon palnllng of a lot Of cheap stuff on us
lntely, but 1t won't work auy longer.
An Indiana girl sat waiting at the window
to 90 With hcr lover to IN l0u.crean rarlor, Wien
u. built Of lightning k!llcther i1t an tnstaHt. Wo
do not hold this up Gs warning, because, Us It
turned out, tho young man didn't cotnc.
The women of Stamford, Conn.,, haye. 10
cIicd thut 1t Ia wclf1d to publish Sunday papeFs.
The mon Of Connecticut still continue to curry
nround packages Of poison antid0te, however
just the sano Aa bcforo tho women got to he 50
good. ,
Emilio Zola remarks: "When we hear
Victor Hugo compared to Shakespeare We HH''!e.'
It ID different over hcre, Emile. People fre"
luentty ordur another OF tho sumo when mo
conversation has not touched upon lltcrAry sub'
jccts Mt oil.
A AsclentIlo journal says that "cats cni' be
nude tender and quiet by playing soft. saa
Muslo to thonE," They Gun also be made Auet
lnl teudcr bytyfng stone to tAolr tlceks aha
throwing thom into creek, which "a muoh caslef
than hiring III orchestra.
"Collega Journalist "-Yes, 1t would be oil
right TO refer to tho precipitation Of Il cattlo.
trntn over III etnbank.noAt As III uoWnwal"
In rn,ntr. nj, n roni ,,owar,oner. to bounce tue
NM, tbnt tyrnt,, s,,ot, hnudint,a.
1Ia...nfa.a r,.,,,. ,,r,,,,a r,,orsn, haa
.u!soao ,.' ta Mu'ov ~: ,,..t, toornioa
s!uau n,sn ~ ou. os.ino!., ~ ,,a a.. ~. .'o,h.
inrl ,to ur,,t aiosnfar.s T stocI T linz rone down
an.nnw,nt' II mn ncvnr i,cur ,i.xJ,iej. wo be-
lInyo ,lu,t matchmaking IL conduciyo 10 hIyh
Chrlstian nttalntnolsts.
3rary Beann ttuoniel horself neglected by
Aor iosor W 4,e.sof' 4au s"oI te 'a'. a.,' "' ho
"uut' hho to9!o uas p'"sin8 c..u" "a uias
,'o., " ,s',.'1't .'''s ~ ,yhothor
~ mn hnr - t.sotsv. .nnnta~ ,vos nhc,d bcforo
~ n.stnr n IN m in ,,,n" ' ~"
e ~ ~" s"A' 1,as
nv" p1al loselnhIlHg hHluaeue'ls ..,,,..'o ~
eee'a 1htfA1ocod III chicago py eihali c,s'I" ~
"nose parents I've " ho.oia. ,,a H. eoaa',J u,ay.
scattering tho b!oeks used III ho@'a,ps "., w"y
ADlkEa AlAllH tho at{l15H lpudtnk from tAo HPPt'