davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
A Very Natural Mistake
From an Exchange.

From an Exchange.
A young man living on Fifteen Mile
Greek came into town, one day last week &,
to buy present for his girl. His Won
dering gaze became transfixed by the
grotesque display in one of the dry
goods windows, he entered the store and
bashfully stepped up to a pretty young
lady behind the counter.
Glow much are those?" he inquired,
pointing to a pair Of handsomely
wrought nickel-plated carriers in tn e
window.
"Seventy-fve cents" said the young
lady, handing out the articles in ques-
ton, and blushing slightly.
Il think they're kinder purity. don't
you?" inquired the young man, anxious
to obtain somebody else's opinion
Very" replied the young miss !;
s'they're the latest style"
Everybody wears them, don't they?"
continued the young man.
almost everybody" said the young
lady, affecting an unconcerned air.
Il was going to get them for girl |
know" said the young man rather ner-
vously. DO you think she will like
them?"
4 think she might-I-I-I don't
know" returned the lady, blushing
again.
"Well, 1 hardly know myself, replied
the young man, picking up one of the
dainty articles and examining it closely
"1ou don't suppose they'll be too
large. now do you ?"
"Why, Il" stammered the young
lady, the blush growing deeper
They seem sorter big like" contin-
ued the young man, not noticing her
confusion. ''But of course, I would not
be certain. She's middlin size, but not
fat. | should think she was about your
bigness, if these would fit you, they
orter fit her. Spose you try 'em on,
an if"
Sir" exclaimed the young lady be-
hind the counter, in voice that lifted
the young mans hat on the end of his
hair, ''you are insulting"
And she swept away to the end of the
store, leaving the bewildered young man
in dumb amazement, holding in his
hand what he supposed was a pair of
beautiful bracelets.
And when one of the men clerks
came and explained his mistake, the
young man from the creek struck bee
line for his team, and in a very brief
space of time was tearing toward home
at rate that threatened to irretrieva-
bly ruin the old family horse. He
won't buy any bracelets now, until he's
married.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
FEMININITIES.

Saws a French critic: 4 like a girl
before she gets womanish, and a
woman before she gets girlish.
When you say that girls hair is as
black as coal, it is just as well to specl-
fy that you do not mean a red-hot coal.
Jackson: but say, who gave away
the bride ~ Jones Il forget but at
any rate it was a perfect give-away. >
New York Herald.
Kate Field says that if women had
been born without tongues men would
have been born without chins, and so
things are right as they are
The Boston Globe is astonished that
there are 80 female temperance socie-
ties in Indiana. 1t always supposed the
Hoosier women to be a sober set.
II am very much afraid of lightning"
said pretty lady. "And well you may
be, +" replied despairing lover, ''as your
heart is made of steel"
He asked a Cincinnati belle if there
was much refinement and culture in that
city, and she replied: "You just bet
your boots we're a cultured crowd"
The wife of a wealthy and retired
DRESS me in such a manner that my
vulgarities will pass for medieval afiec-
tations."
Sara Bernhardt is reported to have
exclaimed the other evening as she was
leaving Paris "Adieu, ungrateful
country, you shall never have my
bones"
One of the saddest and most vexa-
tious trials that comes to a girl when
she marries, Is that she has to discharge
her mother and depend on servant girl.
Bashful lover Ito his BELIZE Would
that | had three Kilograms Of dynamite?
Belle 'sWhy, monsieur" "Bashful
lover s'to break the ice between US"
The bellies of Port Jervis never run
from a Texas steer. If one comes
charging around they knock him down
and run along as if nothing had happen
ed.
A Wisconsin man has been engaged
three times, and every time the girl has
died, and now the girls are kind of shy
of receiving attentions from him.-Bos-
ton Post
An Italian does not believe she is
loved by her lover unless he is capable
of committing a crime for her, an En-
glish woman extravaganza, and French
woman a folly.
A lady who edits newspaper in one
of the Western States says that ''the
popularity of her journal is due to the
fact that people are always expecting
she will say something she ought not to-.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
The Title to Beauvoir.


MRS uoR4rY'S Will AND THE LEGACY
TO JEFFERSON DAVIS.
n. o. Ptcayuue.l
In the case of stephen Percy Ellis ct ais,
y-. Jefferson Davis. Judge Woods, of the
Circuit Court, rendered a very lengthy
opinion. of which the following are brief
abstracts.
aIt is clear that unless the will of Mrs.
Dorsey and the decision of the Second Dis
trIct Court for the Parish Of Orleans add
uniting IL 10 probate and declaring the
defendant to be the sole and universal lega~
tee of Mrs. Dorsey can he successfully at
tackled i'm this court. the court cannot grant
any of the relief prayed for by the bill.
For as the viii aud decree referred to re
main In force the compiainantS cannot call
rpau the defendant for an account touching
uropertv of which the will makes him the
absolute owner. and deprives them of any
interest therein or its proceeds; nor are they
i'm any position u demand the revocation
of the deed made by Mrs. Dorsey TO de
PENDANT for the property kuow9 rs Beau
yeir. For il the deed Is not good the pro
pertv belongs to the defendant by virtue 81
the will. In a word, the viii, Is long rs II
remains i'm force strips them OF all interest
in the affairs and property of the testator.
IL l. no concern of theirs how the defend
ant managed the property, or whether the
deed 10 Beauvoir be valid or Invalid. there
fore Tie demurrer based on the ground that
the court had no jurisdiction Of the matters
set forth i'm relation to the will and Its pro-
bate. reaches the whole case.
After citing authorities, the learned Judge
expresses the opinion chat this court has
no jurisdiction of so much of the case pre-
scented bv the bill as seeks To amend the VIII
of Mrs Dorsey and set aside the probate
thereof This is a decision of the whole
case, for the right of the complainants to an
account from the defendant depends upon
the success of their efforts to set aside the
viii of Mrs Dorsey and the probate there
of As long Is the decree of the Second
District Court admitting the will to pro
bate and recognizing the defendant As the
sole and universal legatee Of Mrs. Dorsey
remains of force, the complaiuants have no
standing which authorizes them to demand
an account of the defendant. So if the deed
OF February 70, 1879, conveying BeauYolr
TO the defendant should tor the reasons
stated in the bill be declared void, still the
title of defendant to the same would be
good and indefeasible under the Will OF
Mrs Dorsey As long As it remains OF force
and the probate thereof unrevoked. In a
word, If the court has not jurisdiction to
set aside the Will Of Mrs. Dorsey and revoke
It's probate, 1t cannot grant any of the relief
prayed for by the bill. Demurrer sustain
ed
Justice Brady refused rehearsing in this
cause
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
Thirty Hours IN the Water.
London Standard.

London standard.
Miss Beckwith on SATURDAY night, at 10
o'clock, in the presence or numerous COM
panv of spectators successfully terminated
her thirty hours continuous swim in the
whale tank of the Royal Aquarium at West
minister BY SO doing she has eclipsed ali her
previous achievements in the water and
proved herself to possess powers of endur-
ance which despite what has been accOm>
plished by Capt. Webb, would still be con-
sidered remarkable in a man, and most re-
markable, indeed, in the case of a slight,
graceful girl, not yet out OF her teens. Ac-
cording 10 the conditions of her selflmpos-
ed task Miss Beckwith was allowed to leave
the water for half an hour in the thirty if
she so required, but from the time she dived
into the tank, at O'Clock on Friday after
noon, up to the time she left her place of
immersion, at ten o'clock on Saturday night,
she never claimed that indulgence. Unlike
Capt. Webb, who during the progress of his
sixty hours swim at the Aquarium adopt
ed generally a slow stroke, and frequently
hoated IN a recumbent position, Miss Beck
with used quicker method of progression,
and varied the monotony of her proceedings
by several displays of clever evoiutions. 1t
was as refreshing as it was interesting TO
witness this graceful young ''Naiad" clad in
her costume az balm of black silk trimmed
with crimson, disporting herself in her
aqueous abode; when swimming, striking
swiftly round the tank, at some times waltz
ing on the water, and at others propelling
herself, feet first, on its surface. During the
whole time she stayed there she enjoyed ex-
cellent health and spirits. The artificial
sea-water was kept generally at tempera-
ture of eighty degrees. the depth being six
feet. Her diet was of the ightest kind,
consisting principally OF minced steak, fill
leted soles, jellies, beef tea, eggs and coffee.
! When she left the water, at 10 o'clock, hav-
ing been immersed for thirty consecutive
hours, she was enthusiastically cheered,
| being then as fresh and well as when she
| entered the day before
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
WIT AND HUMOR.

\ man may be right and vet be left
Every tramp carries roamin' nose
Quincy Modern Argo.
The civil engineer would like to b
monarch Of all he surveys.
The lion must be drawn somewhere
VIZ, IN the circus procession.
Why are good resolutions like a squal
ling babe at church Because they
should be carried out.
| The trouble with TOO many in thi.
world is that they want reserved seats
everywhere except in the family circle.
Paper isworth about six centsa pound
in Peru until it is made into money.
Then il depreciates about 30 per cent.
\ city missionary was asked the cause
Of his poverty. principally because
| have preached SO much without notes, :"
he said.
How Judge a horse" You can't if
you are jackass. \ horse is entitled
to be Judged 10y jury of his peers
Cincinnati Saturday Night
In ancient Mexico it was the custom
to sacrifice human beings to the gods.
This was a ease where several wrongs
made rite.-Boston Post
An Indians !.!l 3,...s experienee, with the Ii
shade his belief in the Great Spirit of
his fathers-New Orleans Picayune.
Here's a letter" said Pat Maloney
Yesterday, from me gurrl, and would
We please be readin' it to me wild yer lie
shut, that We can't be a-larnin' my Sc
crets.
Somebody has discovered that eats
can't live AT a greater elevation than
Is, 600 feet, therefore back sheds should
be built Is. 800 feet high.-Binghamp
ton Republican.
Wisconsin is recommended to inva-
lids on account of its bracing climate |
and clear health-giving air Thousands
Of tons of limburger cheese are made |
there every vear.-New York CONNER |
cial Advertiser.
A traveller in South America reports |
a monkey with two tails. Now we have
the Darwinian progenitor Of the man
who stands in a steelpen coat near the |
bptI 1t llIt - pei q anu 10 >tA4 -
New York Herald.
. Men often jump at conclusions"
says the proverb. SO do dogs. One
jumped at the conclusion Of
cat, which was sticking through the
opening Of q partly-closed door, and
created a great disturbance.
A painterto his maid servant: 'Mal-
heureuse, the porter has carried away
my picture to the salon. 1t wasn't yet
finished !" Monsieur may rest easy as
to that. We gave it a few little strokes
Of the brush before sending it !"
g Yes" said the Iandlady, after dill
gent search for her guests silk umbrel-
la; Il thought it had been stolen, and
now | am satisfied that it was" ''4ou
may be satisfied" responded the guest
lrifv, "but I'm blest if | am y
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
Interesting letter from Hon. w. B..
Gum, Reprcsgutative from Clay
County.

--- ----'
DEAR ~lE-I write 20 apprIee you Of the
change in my rg-t-otiief, SO that the CA.
RIOS may reach n'e without delay - : az
way welcome inc 'eesP-I'" "i IL WI" d"
""1n a.As"l as / "o"l' 'Ae 'l-1' OIL 7''l1
dear TREND There Ha- Dee" an ONO 'eoeiiI u
iF established III A'p'.,' u i"f'l'"S I'-.'
f.t'A-. near my I"'"' NOME anu r ,'''7
place Us more "oH'e'L''''. '' IT. s-'"'' '''o
.'.-''' nope you VIII ''''H5 '"s -
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
An Arkansas Examination,

''Capn," said a co.ored man, enterin.
! the office Of a School Examiner who's,
skin was so black that to see him Vol
would think he had spent his life il
| boiling crows for dissatisfied politicians
,'tapn, repeated the visitor, lightly
| tapping on the door facing.
Wall, sab, what is hity"
Use called roun' ter be 'zammoned.
Ise 'tessional school teacher"
Did you know dat hits a mighty HOT
cross-tire to stan under de range OBJ de
batteries oh my knowledge"
Vas, Cap'n," said the applicant.
IAN being proud oh my 'complishments
| hez sought you sted oh eoin' Ter IL
I1nedycated white 'fessur.
. \ er action is dat OF Il wise man, an
fur SIGH wisdom | zibited in de very bud
OBJ de education rose. Oh, Use fiow'ry;
III 'struct my Secretary to mark yer
ole on de sheepskin stitikit ov knowledge.
Lis am Operative. We'se out OBJ sheep
SKINS, an in der place hab substituted
'coon-skins, tanned by a Arkinsaw Mig
ger an kerched by Justice oh de Peace
10 hit strike yer in de stomach oh re
c.gnitions p
''1as, Cap'n."
"Wall now ter de zamination. Sec
rdary, git down dat brass pen wild dog
wood holder an fetch hit heah, fur |, in
de cordance wild structions, Is gwine ter
taat dis man through de new groun' oh
Knowledge whar de briers am thick an
whar dar's many @oenail lynn mung
de grubs. Now fur de first. Does yer
unerstan' gogafy?"
''Oh vas sab, dat's my holt"
''What does yer know Oh grammar?
Keep yer mouf open fur Use de eddyca-
tional dentist, zaminin' de teeth oh yer
larnin'"
Il eats up grammar like a man ham
lin green's"
what about de sciences oh phIeboto-
N.Y."
Il walks all ober dat science on stills"
''What does you know bout mataphy-
sics?"
ode quilt OBJ my bed am patched wild
hit"
''NEister Secretary" said the examin
er, turning to that functionary, gin
dis man double stifcate. Recommend
him ter de people ez de ablest man | hez
zamined dis yeah. Oars yer papers,
sab; an remember dat de cloud oh edu-
cation am black one. A man dat
shows SIGH familiarity wild science az
you does, is boun' one day ter put his
foot on a white mans shoulder, reachup
an take de gown oh superiority from de
peg in de wardrobe oh 1ife's great COM
petition. Let's see, five dollars fur de
single dorsement an five dollars an
half fur de double dorsement. Gimmy
ten dollars" The money was cheerfully
paid and the man with his blotted coon
skin went out into the world to engage
IN the tournament of letters.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
Catching Cold.

Some people are always catching cold,
even by taking the greatest precautions.
Perhaps. however the very means adopted
are in measure productive ol disorder, as
in some uuguudod moment The bodily
frame may be exposed no Uuwouttd temper
allure. or the ab-urditv of being INSULT
ciently clad ON retiring from % heated room,
enough and to spare has been said, but the
insane practice SUlt continues. Ignorance
can not bc accepted as 90 plea iu that matter,
but the London Lancet calls attention To
cause Of cold doubles quite new to 81 host
of people. Dilatlng upon the subject, tho
writer observes that 1T is questionable whcth-
er attention has been sufficiently directed tu
the part the wind plays Ina producing atcra-
tons of blood pressure iu localities of the
surface. In rude health this may he au uu-
important consideration, but lu the case of
persons Of low vitality thi- "hraciug' may
not occur, or almost instantly suhsiIc, and
congestion Of deep organs may then bee
mechanically produced by long exposure tn
the force of strong wind. I'm the old
coaching days facial paralysis was n well rec
oguzed result of sitting with the face 90 the
wind at an open window. in the more rap
idly moving railway carriage of to-day the
angle Of incidence and reelection throws tAG
current of air on the passenger sitting one
seat removed from the window, or the cur
rent of air strikes the back OF the carriage,
and is passed round behind the ueeks of tho
passengers, as any may demonstrate with a.
lighted match In an these instances ID is
the force rs much rs tile temperature Of the
Jet Of air which produces the results -Imu-
times experienced from "sittIng. ion 90
draught." The question arises whether this
little fact taken ia connection with others
may not hereafter he found t1 throw some
new light ON the nature OF "c1lI' and IFS
morbid phenomena. Perhaps, after aH,
L
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
Mistress and Maid in Stocks.

San Francisco Argonaut.
Enter Bridget with her hands on her hips
"Faith, mum, l shall have to ask We for
more wages. Stocks Is gone so low that a
poor gurrl ike me Is ruint intirely" ''Weil,
Bridget, you know it is always pleasure to
me. TO pay my servants more money; but if
the necessities of life are as cheap as you
say, I think l ought rather to cut you
down a trifie. With Consolidated Imperial
at forty cents and Lady Bryan at fifteen,
YOU really ought to be able TO load up at
very little expense" ''Indade, mum, that's
thrue of We, but consider the assessments"
81 shall do nothing of the kind. Your po-
sition here enables you TO buy the stocks,
but it does not compel you 70 pay the assess
ments. Be reasonable, return to the kitch-
Ell. and when stocks become expensive again
I will add So a month to your wages and We
will resume generally the style of living to
which YOU have been accustomed" Head
of the house (sotto voce): Smart woman,
that! Only she don't happen to know that
I'm short on the whole list, and boom in
the market would be rattlesnakes and blue
lightning"
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
A Romance Of Bulrushes.

Missouri Republican,.
\ romantic story, the beginning of which
dates back 70 1907. has Just been revived in
New York. John and Henrietta Harvey
lived in New York City, and near their res
idence was a sailors boarding-hOuse. Mrs.
Harvey got the i'll will Of one Of the sailor
b0arders and he vowed vengeance. One day
while the Harneys were at church, their
little three-year old Henrietta was stolen
away, and ut the same time the revengefuI
sailor disappeared and never returned to
that clearinghouse again. The child was
lost to her parents. In lS07 a little girl of
three years, or theyeabouts. was found sit
ting in a marsh on Barren Island, with a
piece of fat pork in one hand and a biscuit
IN the other, helping herself She was
found by an Old fisherman and taken to the
house of Nicholas DOoley. who with his fam
iIy, were then the only residents of the
island. The DoOevs decided to take the
pretty little wait and bring her up, acting
the part of a certain princess Of Egypt, who
found a baby in the bulrushes. The child
was called Julia Ann, and i'll 1919, when she
was only fifteen years old, Julia Ann
Doolev married Henry Mott, of Rockaway.
The young couple took up their residence
at Westville, Hampstead township, Long
Island, and thrivcd. soon after their mar
riage a Mrs Rachel Coles called at their
house and was struck with the resemblance
which the young bride bore 10 a friend of
hers i'm New York-lIrs. Henrietta Harvey
whom she FASTENED to tell of her discov-
cry. Mrs Harvey, having lost daughter
in the manner above described twelve years
before, visited the Motifs and was enabled to
identify Mrs. Mott rs her daughter Henri
eta by means of two natal marks-a half
moon on one knee and mole on one ear
and Mrs. Mott acknowledged her mother
There was a happy family reunion, ana all
was we'll The DooIeys are dead but their
house still stands on Barren Island. Mr.
and Mrs. Mott are still living-a venerable
couple. They have had thirteen children,
all daughters, and all married, and they
have a great many grandchildren and great
about them Mrs Mott al
ways retained her foster name of Julia Ann,
MI .nn ...nr.La Ill LLnr AmntlA ALntt
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
The Queens Drawing-room.

Queen Victoria held a drawing-room on
the eleventh of May. The occasion, accord
ing to the London News, was the subject of
much searching and palpitation of heart:
Every nobleman or gentleman kneels,
with face as solemn as though he were
about to say his prayers. Every lady
makes cheese as though her salvation de-
pended on its not curdling. Now, these
gymnastic feats are not, and cannot in the
nature of things be, always performed with
either grace or safety. Even on the very
latest occasion, when the Queens Majesty
was pleased to delight the privileged classes
with a pageant of this sort, something in a
high-born lady's dress came undone with
such disastrous consequences that two
household dignitaries were constrained to
hurry forward from their customary places
of discreet retirement and envelop the love
ly gymnast with the shawls and other wraps
which her mischance required"
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
THE TWO BRIDES.
BY HENRY sToDDARD.

l saw two maids at the kirk.
And both were fair and sweet:
One IN her wedding robe,
And one IN her winding sheet.
The ehoristers sang the hymn.
Inc sacred rites were read.
And one for life TO Life
And one TO Death was wed.
They were borne 10 their bridal beds
In loneliness and bloom.
One In merry castle.
And one in a solemn tomb.
One on the morrow woke
n a world of sin aud pain.
But the other was happier far,
And'never woke again.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09
Female Beauty Here and Abroad.
st. Louis Republican.

St. Louis Republican,
In fact, female beauty is rarity in
every other country in the world except
this favored land. We leave out of ques-
ton the German, Russian and Scandi-
navian nations, for their beauty is al
most a myth. In Italy there is a state
Iy beauty of form and richness of color
among the peasants, accompanied by a
stolid impassiveness the Wanted beau
ties of Spain are .dumpy little women,
with sallow faces and no intelligence.
In Vienna alone, of all the great cities
in Europe, beauty is as common among
women as it is in St. Louis and Balti-
more, and there the beauty comes from
the Hungarians, across the river. In
Paris there is type of female beauty
dainty, refined and exquisite, but frag-
lie and delicate as the dollhouse exotic,
which it resembles, rather than the
blooming rosebud of an American cot
tage garden.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09

THERE is general reluctance to give up
the soil Of an orchard entirely to the trees.
While the orchard is young it is best to cul-
tivate it thoroughly, and hoed crops, as po-
tatoes, roots, etc, can be grown as present
pay for the trouble, but as the trees get
but fruit should be expected from the or
chard. 1t is a good practice to pasture hogs
in the orchard in clover sown for the pur-
pose, as it is one of the best methods of en-
riching the soil and at the same time de-
stroying insects.
The weekly clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1863-1882, 1880-06-09

''Is it becoming to me ?" asked she, as
she paraded in the costume of one hun
bred years ago, before the man who is
not her lord and master, but is her hus-
band. Eyes, my DEAR" said he, meek
ly. Don't you wish could dress this
way all the timer" she asked. mo,
my DEAR" he replied; ''but l wish you
had lived when that was the style"