The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-08-17
The Deadly ParasoI.

tCW pSOplC nave k0cu vi tIlc dulOuut
OF eyes that arc annually ruined by the para
soils of small wives. In the year 1879, it
is estimated that in the United States alone
two hundred and sixty eyes were totally
put out, and seven hundred and nine were
more or less injured. No accurate table
Of the number Of divorces produced by the
| same cause has been made, but the fact
that about two-thirds of ull the divorced
men in the State of Illinois are one-eyed
gives us some idea of the extent to which
! the parasol in the hands of q wife obioc-
| tlonably small ruins the peace of families.
What Is the proper remedy for this giant
| cvil2 This Is quesion for every man who
| contemplates taking small wife. 1t will
not do to increase the length of the para
sol-handic tnversely as the height of the
wife. There is certain standard of length
for the parasol-handlc beyond which it can
| not be increased, for the reason that when
the handle Is too long the parasol does not
| cast shadow which can be kept in posi-
| tlon over a bonnet with any certainty.
Equally impracticable would be any device
for increasing the height of wives so as to
bring their parasols above the level of their
husbands eyes, Already the boot-heels
arc made as high as possible, and if any
attempt is made to increase their height,
women would be totally unable to walk
VI course the wise men who arc still un-
married, and who know the dangers that
accompany the parasol of tho small wife,
can resolve to marry no woman whose
parasol will not at least reach six inches
above the level of his eyes, but the man
who is already married to a small wife
| cannot better his situation by making good
resolutions as to the selection of his second
wife.
1t may be SAID that the small wife
should be required to hold her parasol in
such way as not to endanger her hus-
bands eyes. Of course, this is physically
possible, but he knows little of the nature
OF women who fancies that any wife will
submit to dictatlon rs to how she shall
carry her parasol When her husband re-
marks, ''Thcrc my dear! my other eye is
gonc!" she merely says, s'How can you be
so stupid" and calmly lays all the blame
on him, If requested to keep her parasol
out of her husbands eyes, SHE either fatly
refuses and tells him to mind his own
affairs-as if he had no right to feel any
interest in his cycs-or she bursts into
tears, and says If he cannot walk with her
without insulting her he had better stay at
home The parasol is probably dcarer TO
woman than any other earthly thing, and
she will carry it in what she considers
the proper way, though all the male sex
should be blinded thereby.
The only apparent defense against the
parasol is TO cover the ends of its ribs with
large India. rubber Tenders On each end
should be placed sphere of solid rubber
of at least an inch in diameter BY no
possibility could the human eyebe injured,
by contact with SO large and soft d sub
stance, and the husband of o small wife,
whose parasol should be thus rendered in
nocuous, could walk with her in crowded
street in safety, 1t is evident however,
that nothing except stringent legislation
will induce the women of our country to
consent to have their parasols decorated
with rubber spheres. If merely reques-
ted to do 80 by their husband, they will un-
hcsitatingly refuse, and in most instances,
will assert that the request is deliberately
intended to make them ridiculous. The
Legislature, however, can very properly
make and enforce laws for the protection
of the eyes of male citizens. That a wo-
man should be allowed to carry weapon
that constantly menaces her husband with
blindness is reproach to our civilization.
We forbid men to carry pistols and knives,
and we should equally forbid women to car
ry the dangerous and sometimes deadly
parasol now in constant use.