Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1880-04-07

The question ez to w:ch honlst statesman
the Dimocrisy shel nominate for the
presidency hcz agitated the Corners on
commonly nv late. The Dimocrisy NV
the Cornets will vote for anybody that
the convenshun chooses to put on the
track, for the Corners recognize that the
fust dooty Nv Dimocrat is to open his
mouth and swaller watever his leaders
chooze to drop into it. The Dimocrisy
Nv the Corners is q very easy one to git
on with. None NV em read without sich
great labor that they RELY don't consid-
er it worth while wat it costs, and their
information, like ther close, is ginerally
second-handid.
desided that 1t wuz best 10 hold a
meetin to assertane wat wuz the prefer
ences NV the Dimocrisy Nv the corners
on this important matter, and akkording-
ly called one. / am ruther fond Nv hold
in meetins, for 1t not only helps to mane-
tame my Importance, but ginerally /
manage to git Bascom interested to the
pint NV askin us all to take suthin, wich
is soothln to the bowels. Llkker earned
in that way is sweet, for it tastes jest ez
good ez tho yoo paid for it, and the
~
There wiz great diversity Nv opinyun
on this pint, and every man in the meetin
he'd candidate NV his own. Deekin
Pogram wuz quite oonnnimus in favor
NV Voorhees,, NV fnjeany, for the first
place on the tikkit, for various reasons.
Fust, there wuzn't any doubt about his
Dimocricy. He wuz doorin the late OH
pleasantness stanch friend NV the south,
and is to-day jist ez yooscful to us ez tho
he wuz actilly southern man. In our
opposishun to seckshunalisn, we insist
upon hevin a man entirely southern in
feelin. The fact that Voorhees, is a
northern man does not count agin him.
We are opposed to seckshunnlism, and
are willin to vote for northern man, if
we kin depend upon his entire devoshen
to the south. That is all we require.
Another man wantid Tilden, another
Bayard, nv Delaware, and yit Thurman,
Nv Ohio, while great many wuz entire
ly willin to support Hancock, and even
Gen. Mcclellan he'd some friends.
FINELY some one asked ef the Dimoc-
lisy Nv the Corners he'd thot NV the great
md good Tilden wich wuz swindled out
NV the presidency by eight to seven ?
Wuz there no sense NV justis in the Cor
ners?
From every part NV the meetin-house
ther ariz murmur NV disapproval.
"We don't want no Tilden In ourn, u
sed sevral; he is the tool NV the bloatid
bondholder!
"No Tilden for me" sed another; "he
is opposed to Unlimited green-bax; and
wants to pay off the nashnel debt"
"No Tilden!" shouted the entire meet
in, yoonanimusly. Anybody but Til
den."
Deekm Pogram moved that it was the
sense of this meetin that Senator Voor
hees NV Injeany was the proper man to
bear the Dimekratik banner to victry,
and wuz about to put the moshen when
that onmitigated cuss, Joe Bigler, wich
is torment, rose and said he had a re-
mark to make before the question wuz
put.
care VOC aware, Josef, that this lis a
Dimekratik meetin," / remarkt.
"Hevin inventoried the noses NV them
in attendance, smelt ther breaths, and
gazed on ther clozes, am aware this is
Dimekratik convenshun.
care 700 Dimekrat, josef"
"Ez am meditatin an entire repoodi-
ashen NV wat owe, and hev determined
to quit work and jine the circkle at Bas-
coins kin say am, or at leest soon
will be-"
"Then l 'spose we shel hev to heer
wat 700 hev to say"
"Uv course 700 will. Yoo ginerally
do hear what l hev to say. Wat !
wanted to git at is this: The Corners
will room itself by supporting Voorhees,.
How much does Parson Nasty owe the
Corners?"
Every man in the awjence riz to his
feet ez ef by instink.
"He owes me ninety-six dollars p
yelled Deekin Pogram.
"And me hundred and fortyw ejak-
Hated Issaker Gavitt.
And every man NV EN- statid the miz-
able sum owed him, tell the aggergate
swelled to over thousand dollars.
"Do 700 want yoor money!" sed
"We do! We dot" sed they in
korus.
"My friends" continued he, "voor-
hees hex no money. Voorhees, hezn't q
cent to buy delegate with, and wat
earthly chance wood our esteemed friend
hev to bring back anything from the
convenshun, If he goes instructed to vote
for voorhees,? Nv course he will hey yoor
delegate, and NV course yoo expect him
to come bringin sheaves. Friends NV
the Corners, 700 don't want Voorhees,, ef
700 want your money. You want man
wich hez the disposishun to buy, and the
money to buy with.
"Uv course we dow course we
do! D--n Voorhees," they all ex-
claimed.
"Gentlemen!' sed josef, "what 700
want is Tilden. Tilden hez money
barls NV it. Tilden is patriot wich
don't want any delegate to vote for him
for nothin. That eminent patriot viii be
in Cincinnati with his money. He will
heve his headquarters full NV it, and
whose wants will he permitted to plunge
into that barl elbow deep. 1t is nv vital
interest to the Corners that he be our
nominee"
And immeiitly half dozen moved that
the name nv TildD be substituted for
Voorhees,, and it wuz carried yoonani-
musly.
josef Bigler then moved that his es-
teemed friend Nasty be the delegate,
wich wux carried.
Iwuz 20 grateful to Josef for this that
/ actilly come down from the chair and
embraced him.
Hold on" sed Josef, Ego slow
Pa1son. hev anuther m0shun to make.
I move also that committy Of the Par
sons creditors be appinted to accompany