The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1880-08-14
SPCOPENDYKE'S BATHING SUIT.

SPCOPENDYKE'S BATHING SUIT.
My dear observed Mr.. Spoorcn-
dyke, looking up from his paper, Il
think would be greatly benefited this
Summer by sea baths. Bathing i'll the
surf is an excellent tonic, and if you will
make me up suit and one for yourself.
if you like, We'll go down often and take
a dip in the waves.''
"The very thing smiled Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke; you certainly need something
to tone you up, and there's nothing like
salt water. | think FL make mine of
blue flannel, and. let me see, yours ought
to be red, my dear
q don't think you caught the exact
drift of my remark retortcd Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. 81 didn't say was going into
the opera business or that was going
to hire out to some country village as
contlagration. My plan was to go i'll
swimming, Mrs. Spoopendyke, to go i'll
swimming, and not grow up with the
tlS al CltHldlloll lullldCc. Oll
can make yours of blue, if you want it,
but don't make mine of red, that's ALL"
"There pretty shade of yellow nan-
nell
Most Individually, Mrs. Spoopendyke,
but if you think am going to masquer-
ade around Manhattan beach in the ca
nanit>r of hnn h,ran't saiun1
my idea. I don't apprehend that | shall
benefit by the waters any more by going
around like a Santa Cruz rum barrel.
What | want is a bathing suit, and if
you can't get one up without making me
look like Fulton street car I'll go and
buy something to suit me-
would you want it all in orc piece,
OF do you want pants and blousc?''
81 want a suit easy to get in and ont
of. I'm not particular about following
the fashion. Make up something neat,
plain, and substantial, but don't stick
any fancy colors into it. | want it mod
est and serviceable.'
Mrs. Spoopendyke made up the suit
under the guidance of a lady friend, whose
aunt had told her how it should be con-
structed. 1t was in one piece, and when
completed was rather a startling gar
mcnt.
I'm try it on tonight" said Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, eying it askance when it was
handed him.
Before retiring Mr.. Spoopendykc OK
amined the suit, and then began to get
into it.
"Why didn't you make some legs to
it? What dye want to make it all arms
orr he inquired, struggling around to
see why it did not come up behind.
"lou have got it on Sideways" ex-
claimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You have
got one leg into the sleeve.'
tive got to get it on sideways. There
amt any top to it. Don't you know
enough to put the arms up where they
belong? What dye think 1 am, any
how? \ star fish? Where does this
leg go:''
Right in there. That's the place for
that leg
"Then where's the leg that goes in
this hole?'
"Why, the other leg
'.What are they doing down there ,
| Why amt they up here, where they be-
long? What are they there for, snow
shoes? S'pose I'm going to stand on my
head to get my arms in these holes?'
4 don't think you got it on right. =
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. 1T looks
twisted"
"Thats the way you told me. You
said, Put this leg here, and that one
there, and there they are. And where
does the rest of me go::'
81 made it according to the pattern =
sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Then it $ all right. and it's me that $
twisted. sncered Mr.. Spoopendyke. Il
will have my arms and legs altered. All
| want is to have my legs iammed in the
small of my back and my arms stuck
into my hips: then it'll fit. What did
you take for pattern, a crab: Where
do you find the lobster you made this
from? S'pose I'm going into the water
on all fours9 told you wanted bath
ing suit, didn't [? Did l say any thing
about a chair cover?'
- think if you take it off and try it
on over again, it'll work." reasoned Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
sob. of course. | have only got to
humor the shasted thing. That's all it
wants" and Mr.. Spoopendyke wrenched
it off with growl.
Now pull it on said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke went at it again, and
reversed the original order of disposing
of his limbs
"Suit you now - he howled THAT
is the way you meant it to go? What
these things Hopping around here? -
Those are the legs, I'm afraid" said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, dejectedly.
what are they doing here: l see:
OH, see; this is supposed to represent
me making dive. When | get this on
I'm going head first. Where's the bal
ance? Where's the rest? Give me the
suit that represents me head up, and
Mr.. Spoopendyke danced around the room
i'll fury.
Just turn it over. my dear" said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, land you are all
right
How am going to turn it over:'
yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke. "S'pose I'm
going to carry around a steam boiler to
turn me over when | want the other end
of this thing up? S'pose I'm going to
hire a man to go around with griddle