The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-03-03

soto ooce, 1--WE can easily get him board
ed out somewhere -
"And," went on the Rev. Mr.. Speak
well, II should esteem 1t favor if a
horse and buggy could be procured for
my daily use when going to DR.. Dosem
in the city, as the motion of the train
dlsagrees with my nervous system"
Il don't happen to own a carriage, but
[ might buy one,'' said I.
"Thank you, thank you, Cousin
Poyntz," said Mr.. Speakwell, blandly.
"And if there is any other little thing
you should happen to want, pray don't
be backward in mentioning it, added
"No, I won't, Cousin Poyntz," said the
reverend gentleman, with the utmost
gravity. And I am bound to say he kept
| his word.
For three days endured the swarm
of visitors which literally infested my
home, and then I made up my mind
that patience had ceased to be virtne.
''I'll put stop to this thing" said I.
came home one night with tragic
al expression on my face.
'Katherine,' I said 20 my wife, II am
ruined
"Whatr' cried all the company at
once.
"Those shares in the Western Union,
you KNOW" said I, shifting my fore
head.
Eyes, DEAR" gasped poor Kitty.
"Ihey have goDe down." said I. "Not
worth cent"
80, Johnr' .
81 wish had taken your advice, and
let them alone" said I. ''But after all,
it doesn't SO much matter as if had no
friends"
l looked beamingly around at my wife s
relations. They returned the glance by
the blankest of stares.
1t borrow two hundred dollars apiece
from all this dear Kindred" said L, with
obtrusive cheerfulness, "and request In
Gle Silas to indorse my business note
II couldn't think of such thing,''
hurriedly interrupted that gentleman.
II should be most happy to oblige,
but l am quite out of funds at present.
said Cousin Joab.
And l." said the Rev. Mr.. Speakwell
pushing back his chair, unjust save what
little share possess of the worlds filthy
!ucre to pay my passage and that of my
family back to Minnesota"
"Surely,'' cried I, "you would not 90
away and leave me in such pecuniary
straits as these2"
The Rev. Mr.. Speakwell significantly
buttoned up his pockets.
"lt's every mans business to look after
himself, Cousin Poyntz," said he; s:and
don't scruple to say that it is downright
dishonesty for a business man like your
self to get into financial difficulties.''
And in fifteen minutes every cousin in
the lot had, upon one excuse or another,
vanished from the room, to pack and pre-
pare for immediate departure.
I looked at my wife; my wife looked
at me. I burst out laughing; Kitty be-
gan to cry. ' :. ..
'My DEAR" said I, 'its an easier Job
than thought it would be. didn't
know but that it might be necessary for
me to catch the smallpox before could
get rid Of your relations"
"But are we very poor, John? And
must we give up this dear little cottage9
y, how cruel it is of Cousin Joab and
Mr.. Speakwell and Uncle Silas, and all
OF them, not to nelp you! knoao Mariana
Wilmerding has five Thousand dollars
that she wants to put out at interest, for
she told me so only yesterday, and"
Eyes, exactly,' said I. 'But probably
she doesn't regard me as good invest
ment.''
"After all l have done for them,'
sobbed my wife.
"Relations are only human, my DEAR"
I said.
The company took their leave without
much ceremony of adleux, and that after
noon my wife came to me with tears in
her eyes.
"John,'' she said, evil you tell me
how much money you have lost IN that
horrid Western Union stock2 Because
would rather know the worst at once"
"Lost!" repeated I, looking up from
the newspaper, which was reading In
Uncle Silas's favorite easy chair now va
Gated for the first time in many days.
"Why, who said I had lost anythlng?"
"You did"
"Excuse me, my dear; I said nothing
OF the kind. merely stated that the
Western Union shares are not worth
penny. Neither were they to me, for I
sold out all 1 possessed over three weeks
ago."
"John!"
eyes, my DEAR
Chow could you2"
every easily" said I, with latent
smile. my dear, I think if your rela-
tives had stayed another week I should
have committed suicide.''
"And you told that horrld story just
to get rid of them9"
81 made that unimpeachable statement
with that precise Intention
"They were rather trying" confessed
Kitty: "And I think they might have
helped you little when they thought
you were bankrupt"
"They will not come visiting here,
again." said I, quietly.
And was right. They did not.