The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1880-04-23
WAITS AND WHIMS.
D.wEAR-tight boots.

hardly ever.
The difference between a sea and
saw is in tense.
IF wishes were fishes what whaling
time we would have.
NEVER affect TO be witty or Jest so as
hurt the feelings of another.
MANY sanctimonious minister has
made devil of father,
THE remains were inquested," isa
phrase from an Iowa newspaper.
No kissing by telephone for us. We
prefer TO take the electricity direct
from the battery,
AN exchange thinks that curryhossity
| takes farmers to the stable before break
fast.
KITE tails will feel lost when tele-
graph wires have been put under
| ground.
SpIcER says his collar button is like
the celebration of the Fourth OF July
it is sure to come of.
THE latest London fog: First pedes-
trian-" Is your lantern out" Second
do" don't know. I'll feel"
A GIRL down town has beau named
Ted and her little brother has often
seen her buss Ted.
A NEW paper called Woman, has
been started in Paris. OF course II will
require new dress every two months.
A MELANCHOLY case of suicide-A
naughty little boy, having been threat.
ened with whipping, Immediately hung
his head.
A LEARNED physician asserts that
impure blood causes more red noses than
whisky does. Cut this out and paste it
on your proboscis.
If they are going to rebuild the
bridge OF Tay, as expected, wouldn't it
be good idea to use something
stronger-coflee, for instance2
To keep a good resolution give it to
you wife and tell her TO pack it away
in the bureau. You'll have it then a.
, long as the bureau stands.
If IL be true that everything coed
in man leans on something higher" we
, see no reason why the soles Of men
| should not rest ON the mantelpiece.
A LETTER was recently dropped iRta
the mail box directed to Lorus Can
l GERS" The Postmaster guessed it was
! for Lawrence, Kansas, and Invent right.
! A SAILOR is not sAilor when he is a
Z board: sailor is not a sailor when he
2 is q shore; but he must be either
q ashore or aboard; therefore, sailor
e is not a sailor.
G You promised to pay that bill yes
} terday," said an angry creditor TO
Is debtor. Yes" calmy replied the
J. other, " but to err is human, to forget,
IS divine, and forgot it,"
o Mr.. TENNYsoN still devotes shimseli
,, TO domestic subjects; for example:
y Put the armchair in the attic
n II has earned its needed rest;
a For the pair Il oft supported
Now are married and gone West
% THIS being leap year, Main street
. Young lady thought she would make 8
y proposal, and she did. She proposed to
y n Young man who had been keeping her
81 nm nights that he clear out and give
y some one else chance, and he took the
\ !, hint and cleared.
= WHEN we see a clergyman kissing the
u male members of his flock as well as the
J, female, the tobacco-chewing pipe
y smoking, beer-drinking old sinners, as
: : well as the young and pretty ones, we
- begin to believe that his heart is in his
,e work
\, ~ To Mr.. Edison--Dear Sir: Where a-t
we now p ElairG Free Press.
~ Elmira Free Press-Dear Sir: Do moi
~ make light Of what you don't under
~ stand. We have made mistake in onl
ns horses shoe, but are now engaged upoI
as a mule's.--Edison
he "CoME here, you little mulep yellet
ne one of our citizens to his son. The las
"a approached and deliberately lookini
into the paternal eye, asked: Papa
ed what is a mules fatherT' and then tn
IA old man walked abstractedly into tn
ON house to think up an answer to tn
th conundrum.
Al PROFESSOR" The passive action 0
of muscles is particularly marked in tn
EN- cases of birds, who clutch their perc
Sc, merely in consequence Of their bodil
W. weight. In removing fowl from
me hen-roost you have, doubtless found
necessary to lift it, and -" (class Sc
The point).
A coy once took II In his head
That he would exercise his sled.
He took that sled into the road
And, lord massyi how be sods.
And as be sid he laughing cried,
trv What fun upon my sled 70 slide.
30 And as he laughed before be knewed,
iug He from that siding sled was slude.
3s," Upon the slab where he was laid
lest They carved this line; This boy vas zl ssde
IL
ger
any o oone will dare maintain that it
ile- Ter to do injustice than to bear il.
al
,ro- TBE most comfortable liver-pad
ion. man can wear is money-beit filed wi
as 81 900 bills.
me,
900 MOh, dearp exclaimed Miss Pei
re- lance, '"I do wish she would pl
iilis something else-Pve lots Of things
ing tell youp'
t in
/ he ONEis much less sensible of cold
ees, q bright day than cloudy one; Ii
ther the sunshine of cheerfulness and he
II is will tighten every trouble.