Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-06-17
Odd Tribes.

The early cucumber catches the best
cramps.
Take care Of the onions and the
scents will take care of themselves.
Chicago received 1875 carloads OF
corn the other day. Think of the men
1t will corn!
Wilhelm has made $4,000 by his
viOlin-playing the past season. Verj
prettj little PENN.
Nothing MAIDS coroner more than an
ordinance forbidding boys to battle in
convenient waters.
The greatest curiosity which Chica-
go has to show her visitors is a piece of
unmortgaged ground.
The pitcher that goes often to the
beer-house is broken at last. 1t is the
same way with the catcher.
Well, now the question is, Will a
West Point cadet lie or wont he? 1t Is
greatly feared that he W
In ancient Mexico it was the custom
to sacrifice human beings to the gods.
This was a case where several wrongs
made rite.
"Young mother" wants to know if
green apples are healthy. Yes, they
are generally healthy, but the people
who eat them are not.
James III. Gallup and Emma Canter
were married at Grand Rapids few
days ago. Give 'em time and they'll
make spanking team.
Theodore Thomas is expressing his
firm conviction about now that the
Atlantic is the worst-managed ocean
he ever had anything to do with.
When 3 Kentucky paragrapher
writes word that the printer can't
make out, latter sets it up as ''mules,"
and nine times out of ten he gets it
right.
The soldiers of the Turkish army
have not been paid a cent for fourteen |
months. They could not be worse |
treated if they were nothing but school
teachers.
In describing a new organ rural
editor says: 1.-THE swell died away in !
q delicious suffocation: like one sing
ing q sweet song under the bed
Clothes"
It is only the female mosquito that
bites, but when a man gets q chance
to belt one with towel, he is going to
do it without stopping to inquire as to
its gender.
A bolt of lightning killed eleven
hogs in Virginia and never even
shocked three men who were near by
playing cards for the ownership Of a
blind mule.
A bunch of American shingles which
was washed ashore on the Island oil
Madagascar was put to popular use.
Two hundred and fifty children werel
accommodated.
cit Is harder and more expensive to
keep a dog in Chicago than in any 9TH
er town in the country" is the state
ment circulated by st. Louis to prevent
immigration to Chicago.
In Holland, Mich, when a dog bowls
before house it portends funeral un-
less he is speedily shot. If it is the
Mayors dog all signs are declared off,
as the dog is valued at $50.
The reason men don't follow the ex-
ample of women and stop to look into
the windows of millinery stores is be-
cause such windows don't contain fam
cy pipes and the portraits of burlesque
actresses.
They say that the people of these
United States are recklessly extrava-
CANT, and yet the Vermont man who
bought the wrong kind of pills for sick
wife, to avoid having them wasted, took ,
them himself.
Nevada papers calmly tell of boulders $
weighing seven tons flying through the
air like feathers as tornado gets in its
work. It is rather curious that Nevada /
liars, weighing less than two hundred
pounds, are never moved off their
feet.
Exchange Fiend-"Whenever you
want my advice don't hesitate to ask
for it."
Newspaper Man-"Thanks; would
like some advice just now"
"All right: shall only be too hap
py:" -.
"Can you tell me how in the world
can induce you to leave without hurt
ing your feelings?"
II don't think you need much advice
on that subject"
He retires in indignation and with
most of the exchanges.