The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-06-15

IL IS the fortune OF every man some time or
other In his life to suffer martyrdom in the
ballroom. The methods are various the re.
suit the same. The executioner ia of conrso
the gentler sex. Her name NAV be Miss
Brown. MISS Brown may be the most
charming and amiable of creatures. But. I'M
iortuhaIely, SO lar as you and othor male
oahcers are concerned, she is desperately
enamored of Mr.. Black. Consequently. the
only individual with whom she cares to dance
is the fortunate Mr.. Black. You NAV see her
looking at INN with radiant face, whispering
lnto ms ear, and showingthe keenest apprecia-
tioh OF everything that he says. You NAV
also notice that she allows him to clasp
her a little more tightly than is absolutely
necessary, and that she leans on him for sun
port more heavily than she is really called on
10 40. Ii is easy to perceive that she would
dance with him all night if il were not for
the wholesome restraining influences of Ell
quette, eVenthough she may not be absolutely
'engaSed" to him. When, however, she IS
constrained to resign herselfto your clutches,
her demeanor undergoes a wonderful trans
formation. The radiance vanishes from her
countenance, and her manner become frigid,
especially If you evince the least desire to be
friendly and contdentially conversational with
her. She holds you at arms length, and,
probably, processes to be weary before she
has gone more than twice around the room.
She forsets that with lucky Mr.. Black she is
able to keep up from the beginning to the end
OF a long waltz, but you do not, and your
humiliation Is, therefore, all the more COM
plete. In case you should have some excuse
for not thinking that you are regarded as a
bore, she listens to what you have to say with
a distract air, and receives your neatest things
in grim silence. When you fancy that you
have said something particularly smart, lshe
will crush you by rousing herself, as if from
a %reverie, and saying, evidently in reference
TO the law of politeness, "Oh! l beg your
pardon, Mr.. So-and-so, l believe you said
something; what was it," You r~ecollect that
she will not break her heart if you refrain
from telling her what it was, and you are
right. But her behavior is very hard on you,
for to tell a joke twice over is very much Ike
explaining the point of a witticism on which
you particularly pride yourself.
Having escaped from the hands Of Miss
Brown, you may possibly be handed over to
the tender mercies of Miss Green. Now, Miss
Green prides herself upon the strength of her
character and the power Of her mind. She
would have you believe that she has a soul
above the Conversations twaddle of the
drawing room, and is able to talk to men on
their pet subjects. So she will ask your
opinion of metaphorical and philosophical
works of which you may not even have heard
the names, and arch her eyebrows in disdain
as you founder about in a quagmire of
difficulty, and indicate your own lack of in
information. If you venture to pay her a
compliment she will frown, but if you ask
her what are her daily amusements she will
smile, for she will then be able to declare
that she loves reading German and Greek, or
tackling the theory of evolution as propounded
by Herbert Spencer. Under proper treat
,,o,t .h~ vrsll laal tn ,,pIa-cfopI that
she is ashamed of the ~frivolity add empty.
headedness displayed by the majority of her
sex, and deeply feels the stigma which is I'M
deservedly cast upon herself in consequence
oftheir misdeeds. The results Of your efforts
to entertain her is, nine times out OF ten,
that you are made to feel exceedingly small.
But, perhaps, the greatest trial which one
has to endure is Miss Lackadaisical. She is
of a sentimental turn of mind, and thinks of
little except sweethearts. She is ready to
dance through an evening, almost without q
break. regardless of the acting arms of hel
partners and the sweat upon her partners
brows. She never dreams that she is heavy.
She certainly does her best to be amiable.
You may tell her that the moon is made OF
green cheese, and she will not contradict
YOU. Indeed she will smile and nod her
head, as she might be expected to do if you
were retailing gospel truth. But, While she is
ready to indorse everything which you have
to say, she has very little to talk about on her
own account. After supper, it is true, she may
attemptt to rally you about your limitations. But
there is not much 'go" in her chatf, and you
have an impression that she would be glad II
you would make love to her. You have an
+, idea that she could, upon very slig 1t proyoca'
ton, constitute herself the victim OF an un-
reQuited attachment. When you begin OPP
~erations, 50 far as she is concerned. you may
feel amiable and be full Of spirits. But,
somehow or other, she 'dries you up At
the end of the first figure Of the puadrille,
having exhausted the weather, lthe COM
mon affections for dancing, and such ltSpll'
ing topics, you come 10 a stop ana wonder
what in the name Of goodness you are to say
next. You begin to think that. after al, yot
are the greater portion of 4 tool, and are lem
onstratilg the melancholy fact to your part
ner, But YOU need not hUmitiaie yourself
She is prepared to be very m9rciful. Slt
does not mind long pauses. No Susriclol
that she is Il simpleton because she ialiS L
supply you with matter for conversation
Aawns on her mind. She is conten5 to stant
plecidly while her arm is i'll yours. IL Woui'
anuaar as if she had said to herself, "lf h
snaaks. we'll and good-if he does not speak
! we'll and good also; there is really not 81
much in conversation Us some people i:na9
inc" But, unfortunately, you are l!nl Tx
her. and are so self-conscious that IN MISERY
Won wish you were at home.
+ Girls, however, are apt TO declare that man
4 dances are made dull AMI irkso1nt ny Tn
e stupidity and folly of men, and perhaps th|,
e are right.-Liome JoWMGt.
1 heen Your Mouth Shut.