Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-08-27
ROAMING WIT.

"a seasidal residence" is the last phrase
invented to describe two-roomed hut
within sight of the ocean.
a sea voyage will cure the tooth-ache.
You get so fearfully sea-sick that you
forget all about the tooth.
Pat, have you seen a stray pig this
morningp" ''Shure, an how could tell
stray pig from any other, surP"
They talk of certain stores being un-
equaled in the world, when we all know
that every store has its counterpart.
Weston can rest more and longer in
six days go-as-you-please than any other
pedestrian now before the public.-Patck.
An Irishman, watching a game of base
ball, was sent to grass by foul, which
struck him under the fifth rib. "a fowl,
was utP Begorra, thought it was a
mule"
Acknowledgements Ito her mar
riageable daughter): Virginia, dear,
don't lose sight of that gentleman in
mourning. He may be widower."
Reporter-'I had a very important
interview with Col. Soandso the other
day. "Did he enable you to get an in
sight into state politics?" "You bet he
did; he treated me four times"
''That is what l call a finished SER
mon," said lady to her husband, as
they wended their way from the church.
Eyes, was the reply with a yawn, ''but,
do you know, l thought it never would
be-"
The bell boys of hotel are all named
Front" The clerks never call them by
any other name. They call them Front,
because when sent out it is never known
when they will be back NetO Orleans
P5cGyatne.
Owing to the Spartan severity of the
seats at the Concord school of philoso-
ply, the ladies attending there complain
of the difficulty of concentration upon
the Universals when obliged to be all the
time thinking of their backbones.
''Do for gracious sake take these nut
crackers over to that man." exclaimed
nervous old lady sitting opposite party
who was cracking nuts with his teeth.
"No, thank ycu," he said, politely re-
turning them, my teeth are not false
ones"
A man at one of the hotels split some
milk on his coat, and wondered if it
would leave a grease spot. "Grease
spotPn queried fellow boarder just op-
posite, ''grease spotP Well, 1 should say
no. Rather look for chalk-marks when
it dries up"
A kind of pudding, spoonful of
which will make a man think he has
swallowed a dose of rancid hair-oil,
is called "bride's pudding" Very ap-
propriate, for usually the first pudding
bride attempts to make is horr.d mess.
-BoSton Post.
"Pa," seriously said an Oswego boy,
"did you ever see a book-wormP" eyes,
my child" replied the parent. After a
pause that fairly made the castor-oil bot
tie dance with delight, the young fellow
shuddered and frightfully asked, "Do
little boys have 'emP"
"And how is your neighbor, Mrs.
Brown?" inquired one nicely dressed
lady of another. "She's well enough, l
suppose. l haven't seen her for six
weeks" "Why, l thought you two were
on the most friendly terms" "Well, we
used to be; but we exchanged servants" j"
Chow Phya Bhanuwong-se Maha Rosa
Tibodti ii Phraklan, the new Siamese
ambassador, has arrived in England.
His cognomen was brought over in a
caisson, the same as the Egyptian obe-
lisk, to prevent it from being broken in
several pieces, or having few corners
knocked off.
An Oil City man, who recently tray
eled in Europe, said he was at dinner
one day in Paris, and while telling
story, was attacked with a sudden and
continued fit of sneezing. When he
ceased, Russian gentleman at another
table, named Pitcheekee, turned about
and complimented him on his excellent
and correct pronunciation of the Rus
sian language.-OI City Derrick.
When Quin was at a certain dinner
party, there was pudding on the table
of a peculiarly attractive character. One
of the guests helped himself to huge
piece, when the host, wishing to have
Quin's opinion, pushed the dish toward
him and invited him to taste the pud-
ding. Pray" said Quin, looking first
at the gentlemans plate and then at the
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