The Osceola times., 1880-05-15
WAYS OF THE WORLD.
ARKANSAS
OSCEoLA,

AN Engllsnman speaks Oi lhe h"St.
incoherence of Walt Whitman.
Irtakes an hour and half to get a
trunk checked at 6 depot in Italy
MANY a handsome loafer on the
corner is an ornament to his profession
Two Burlington. Iowa, iee-men were
rescued after floating n mile on cake OF
ice.
FnASo1scAy friars have gore into ihe
wine business extensively at Los Angeles,
Cal.
rurRr has been no issue of silver five
cent and copper two-cent pieces since
1872
TuE principal bulls upon the market
are made by the men who bear all the
losses.
A Scaoor- TEACHER in Dalton. Ohio,
broke a pupils leg by pulling him ont oil
his seat.
CulNAMrN can not understand why
Englishmen hate nice little nice ana
love tripe.
TIE Kingdom of Siam is TO be con-
nectcd with the telegraphic system OF
the world:
The fences Of the United States cost
S20O0, ,O00,0 600, and the of-ienses about as
much more.
AMAY may be as honest as the day is
long and vet be a little crooked on thirty
days credit.
ESG1Isn and Scotch farmers and capt
talisls are making large purchases oil late
in Minnesota.
WHEN two peanut venders unite their
business fortunes they must take urn
stand in trade.
Tue broker whose wife wanted new
satin of invisible green told her that ne
could not sec 1t.
DURING the London skating season
graceful lady-skater carried and played
pair Of castanets.
A PENNSYLVANIA school-tedcher thinks
that pupils ought to have great hearty
laugh every day.
An enthusiastic deacon says that there
isn't hall biz enough to hold Sister Van
Colts hallelujahs.
THE actor who plays Ten Nights in
Bar-room" is the one who !etches III an
inebra,o asylum.
EDISON said "horse shoe," and echo an.
swered "shoo," and then you ought 10
See the shoe-hy out.
THE best remedy for cold feet is to call
at house where they keep dog and
don't iced him very high,
The policeman whose suit was rejected
by the cook appealed to Il higher court
ane, made love 10 the chambernaid.
NEVER blow down a lamp chimney to
A. Il. a l.r - - ctttfa ltuhlp |
to le.urn the compliment and blow you
up.
The Rev. Cowley, Of the Shepherd
Fold, should be sentenced to live on
the bean soup he provided for his We
Tins.
The poet WI. sang "Pm sailing DER
the brine knee deep" was evidently a
timi1 man, aud afraid TO venture Tar
from the shore.
EVERY saw-mill should have lath saws
attached. This will check the growth
of fingers and give medical students
plenty Of specimens.
JAMESTOWN, VA, claims to be the old
est Post Office IN America, and 1t never
had 7. NJ. who sassed back when wo-
man knew that there was letter there
for her.
Ing tattoo marks on the noses Of the
sons of the Prime of Wales, are said 10
be made with cayenne pepper, and the
alarm in the royal household has become
subdued.
Why didn't the New York girl horse
whip her father instead of suing HIM for
slandrr2 Fathers must behave them
selves as well as other folks or take the
consequences.
TEN thousand persons are said to have
visited the remains of Emperor Norton,
prior to burial in san Francisco. Ills
brain weighed fiifty-onc ounces and
s. owed no signs Of insanity.
KING JoHN, Of Abyssinia, has convert
ed over 100 600 Moslems to his religion.
His argument is brief but effective, con-
sisting of pouring boiling tallow into the
ears of those whose opinions differ from
his.
THERE is something exciting about
duel, even where neither party iltends
to hit. The other fellow may be such
poor shot that he will bang bullet into
his antagonist instead of one of the spec
tators.
CuRArEs seem to be much better rhd
in England than formerly. The. adyer-
tisements for them in one case offers less
than $500, and the most from 5000. to
$3.50, whereas $500 used to be the maix-
mum. The fact is that there is dearth
OF educated, eligible men.
A CHICAGO man was told, when he reg
istered at Council Bluffs hotel, that
his wife was already there. lie said
there must be mistake, as he had LETT
her at home few days before, and she
had not said anything about journey;
but the clerk insisted that he knew her,
and that she was in the house. The fact
was that she had elopcd.