Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-04-29
Anecdotes Of Horace Greeley.

Anecdotes Of Horace Greeley
There were two great peculiarities Of
his intellectual constitution, not often
found together. He was at once specu-
lative and practical He had a bound
less hospitality for new opinions, which
ne desired at once to submit to the ordeal
OF actual experiment. But / think that
he found out the failures just as soon as
anybody; and certainly no one could
comment upon them with drier sarcasm
or more good-humored frankness. If he
had started a Fourier-phalanx, he would
have been the first to discover the weak
working points. remember him pull
ing out of his pocket small bottle of
sorghum sugar, containing probably five
ounces, and exhibiting it, half sheepish-
" and half triumphantly, as the net pro-
duction Of his cultivation of that new
plant. For mean act he had no mercy;
Tor clumsy or careless one, but little;
but his fund of good nature was indomi-
table. He once, for some reason, re-
ported a dinner in The Tribune, and
told the public that among the beverages
provided were 8. HetdsecE, claret, port,
champagne and other wines" When he
was chaffed about this, by those who
took such liberties sometimes, he only
laughed and said, 'Well, / am the only
man in Tine Tribune office who could
have made such a mistake as that, y
which, am afraid, was literally true.
Almost always overworked, he was
naturally irritated by intrusions upon his
privacy. For a long time, his efforts to
cloister himself up were, l am bound
to say, humiliating failures. All sorts
OF people, with the greatest posi-
bic variety of bees in their bonnets, man.
aged to evade the slight barriers, get
into his presence, and interrupt his in
dustry-people with machines of perpet-
ual motion; with theories about spiritu-
alism; with notions about the next cleo
ton; with business plans only requiring
small loan to launch them upon the
fnll tide of dividend-paying experiment.
There were others with a passionate de-
sire to borrow small or large sums of
money; with anxiety to become writer's
upon the Tribune; with manuscripts
which they wished to have recommended
to some publisher of books; with new re-
igions; with schemes for the abolition of
every religion whatever; with mining
stocks sure to pay thousand per cent
with stories of personal restitution har-
rowing to listen to, yet only requiring
the loan of few shilling to enable the
petitioner to go to his friends; widows
whose sole claim upon him or upon any
body was that they were widows; Or
phans, sometimes conspicuously well
grown, who had nothing to plead but
their orphanage; Irishmen who had lost
everything in desperate attempt to give
the green isle a better government; ne
groes who, perhaps, were born free, and
were merely fugitives from Maine or
Massachusetts-an these and many 9TH
ers beseiged the sanctum, and devised
tricks for swindling its occupant I am
satisfied that if Mr.. Greeley could have
locked his door and kept it locked, he |
would have died a much richer man. He |
would try sometimes to be extremely |
stern and repellant, but it was always a
lamentable failure.
l happened to witness one interview
which was sufficiently amusing. A wild
Ow, or at least woman in black, want
ed to go somewhere, or set up a school, |
or start mission in some PARKWAY re-
gion of Africa, or do something for sew
ing girls-never mind what! Mr.. Gree
ley, who was up to his eyes in work, re-
peatedly told her to 60 away, and kept
on writing. But going away was the
last thing which the petticoated philan-
thropist proposed to do. She kept on
talking, and Mr.. Greeley kept on writing
as we'll as he could; until at last in sheer |
desperation, he rushed to the speaking
tube which led to the counting-room,
and bawled ENORMOUSLY through it.
"S-, for mercy sake, send me five
dollarsr' The money came up; and |
having thrust it into her hand, and
resolutely discouraged the long speech |
of thanks which she instantly began to
make, Mr. Greeley half bowed and half |
put her out of the little room and went |
back to his work with complacent |
smile Illuminating his excellent face.
He had purchased his time, and had paid |
a pretty good price for Charles Z.
Congdon' "reminiscences, IN N. Y. Iri6-
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