Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-08-21
Setting n Hen.
From Plttsburg Chronicle


MeeSter VeT7'iS: / see dot most
efferpody wrides someding for de
shicken papers now-tays, and l
fought praps mappe l can do dot
too, so / wride all apout vat dock
blaze NIT me lasht summer. You
knOw-und uf you dond know, den
tells yOu-dOt Katrina IDIOT is
mein vrOw) und me, We keep some
shickens for q long dime ago, und
Won tay she salt to me: "SOckery,
IDIOT is mein name), Wy dOnd you
put some of de aigs under dot olt
plue hen shickens? 1 dinks she
wants to sate." "Nell," / salt,
"meppe l guess / WILL" So / pick
ed out some uf de pest aigs und
dock UNI Oud to de parn fare de Olt
hen make her nesht in de side ufde
haymow, poud five or seek feet up.
Now you see / meier vas ferry pig
up und town, but I vas booty pig
all de way around in de mittle, so /
koodn't reachup dill went Uind gotta
parrel do slant on; veil / klimet me
on de parrel, und ven my he'd risht
up by the nesht, dot oft hen she gif
me such a bick dot my nose runsall
ofer my face NIT ploOd, und ven /
lodge pack dot plasted olt parrel he
preak, und ] vent town kershlam;
ply cholly, I tidn't dink kood go in
side parrei pefOre; put dere / vas,
und / fit so dite l kOOdn't get me
out efferway; my fest vas pushed
way up under my arm-holeS. s-.
Ven l fount I vas dite sctuck, I
OF Il nf ~ md
ven she Room and see me shtuck in
de parrel up to my arm-hOle, nit
my face ali plOod ind aigs, by
chOlly, she shust lait town on de
hay und laft und laft, till / got so
mad / said: "Vot you lay dere und
laf like old WOOL, Ell? Wy toni
you koom pull me oud 20 Und she
sat up und said: "Oh, wipe off
your chin, ind pun your fest town."
den she lait pack und laft like she
VOot Sphlit herself more as ever.
Mat as l vas, / fought to myself,
Katrina, she shbeak English booty
goOt, but l only salt, NIT my great
est dignitude, katrina, will you
bull me Oud dis parrel?'' und she
dot l look booty red, so she salt
'tOf course / will, SOckery :" den
she lait me und de parrel town on
our side, und / dock holt de toor-sill,
und Katrina she bull on de parrel,
put de first pull she made I yelled,
"DOnder ind bitten shtop dat, by
cholly, dere is nails in de parrel :"
You see de nails pent town van
vent in, put Ven l cOOm Oud dey
schticks in me all de way rount.
Veil, to make a short shtOry long,
/ dOlt Katrina to go und dell NAPIER
HanSman to pring saw und saw
me dis parrel off; veil, COON und
he like to shblit himself NIT laf,
too, put he roll Offer und saw de par
rel all de roundt OFF, und git up NIT
hat parrel rOundt my waist den
Katrina she say, ''SOckery, wait a
little till 1 get battern of dot new
oferskirt you hat on" but l tidn't
salt a wort. Ishust got knife oud
und vittle de hoops off und shling
dot confountet old parrel in dot
voot pile. Pimeby, ven / COON in
de house, Katrina she salt, so soft
like, "SOckery, dond you goin to
put some aigs under dot olt plue
hen ?'' Den l salt, in my teepest
voice, "Katrina, uf you uffer say
dot to me again I'll git a pill from
you, help me chimiRy gracious"
und dell you, she didn't say dot
any more! Veil, Mr.. Verbs, ven
l shtep on parrel now l dond
shtep on it, git poX.
Very drooly yours,
SoCKERY KADAACUT.