The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1880-01-09
MARK rwAIN Avn THE BARnER,s

All things change except BARRIERS, the
ways of BARRIERS, and the surroundings
Of BARRIERS. These never change.
went to get shaved The barber showed
up my head and put napkin under it,
He.plowed his fingers under my collar and
fixed towel thele. He explored my
hair with his claws and suggested that
it needed trimming. said 1 did not
want it trimmed. He explored again and
said it is pretty long for thepresent etyle
better have little taken off it needs it
behind especially. / eaid I had it cut
only week before, He yearned over it
rehectively amoment, and then asked,
with disparaging manner, who did it.
came back at him promptly with
"You did r. had him there. Then he
fell to stirring up his lather and regar-
ding himself in the glass, stopping now
and then to close and examine his chin
critically or torture a pimple. He then
lathered one side Of my face thoroughly,
and was about to lather the other, when
dog fight attracted his attention, and he
ran to the window and stayed and saw it
out losing two shillings on the result in
bets with the other BARRIERS, thing
which gave me great satisfaction. He
finished lathcring, Meantime getting the
brush into my mouth only twice, apd then
began to rub in the suds with his hand;
and as he now had his head turned, dis
cussing the dog. fight with The other bar
bers, he naturally shoveled considerable
lathered into my mouth without knowing
it--but l did.
He now begin to sharpen bis razor on
an old suspender, and delayed a good
time on account of n controversy about
cheap masquerade ball he had figured at
the night before, IA red cambric and
bogus ermine, as some kind of a king.
He was so gratiGed at being SO chaffed
about some damsel whom he had smitten
with his charms that he used every means
of continuing the controversy bypreten-
ding he was annoyed at the chafings of
his fellows. This matter begot more
surveyings in the glass, and he put down
his razor and brushed his hair with ella
borate care, plastered an inverted arch Of
it down on his forehead, accomplished an
accurate ''part" behind, and brushing the
two wings forward over his ears with nice
exactness. Iu the meantime the lather
was drying on my face, and now npparen-
tly eating into my yitals.
Now he began to shave, digging his
fingers into my countenance to stretche
the skin, making handle of my nose
now and then, bundling and tumbling
my head this way and that as convenience
in shaving demanded, and 'hawking''
and dexpectorating pleasantly all the whiie.
AS long as he was on the tough sides OF
my face did not suffer; but when he be-
gan to rake, and rip and tug at my chin,
the tears came. / did not mind his get
ting down so close to me; I did not mind
his garlic, because all BARRIERS eat garlic,
suppose; but there was an added some
thing that made me fear he was decaying
inwardly while still alive, and this gave
me much concern. He now put his fin
ger into my mouth to assist him in sha'
the corners Of my upper lip, and it was
by this bit of substantial evidence that
discovered that part Of his duties il
the shop was to clean lamps.
About this time was amusing myself
. trying to guess where he would be mos
likely to cut me this time, but chad go
ahead Of me. and sliced me on the enC
of the chin before had my mind mad,
q up. He Immediately sharpened hi
razor-he might have done it before
= 1 dc not like close shave, and would lie
a hinge over me second time, tried t.
get him to put up the razor, dreadint
that he would make for the side of m.
chin, my pet tender spot, place whicl
4 a razor cannot touch twice without max
ing trouble; but he said he only wante'
q to lust smooth of one little roughness
I and in that same moment he slipped hi
. razor along the forbidden ground am
+ the dreaded pImple signs of a close shaw
rose up smarting answered to the call
Now he soaked his towel in bay rum an
slapped it all over my face hastily; slap
: ped it over as if human being ever ye
washed his face in that way. Then b
. dried it by Slapping with tie dry part G
|, !, the towel, as if human being ever dri
! ed his face in such fashion, but bar
ber seldom rnbs you like q Christian
I Next he poked bay rum into the Gu
: place with his towel then choked
/, with pow dered starch, soaked it wit
y hav run, apain and Would have gone OF