The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-04-15
HOW MARRIED WOMEN GO
TO SLEEP.

HOW MARRIED WOMEN GO
TO SLEEP.
There is an article going the rounds |
entitled How Girls 60 to Sleep The
manner in which they go to sleep ac-
cording to the article, can't hold can
die to the way married woman goes
to sleep. Instead of thinking of what
she should have attended to before GO
ing to bed, she thinks of it afterward.
While she is revolving these matters
in her mind and while snugly tucked
mp in bed, the old man scratching his
legs in front of the fire and wonder
ing how he will pay the next months
rent. Suddenly she says:
James, did You lock the door?
(which door?
The cellar door, says she.
No. says James.
well, you'd better GO down and
lock il, for heard some one in the
back } ard last night.
Accordingly, James paddles down
stairs and locks the door. About the
time James returns and is going to
get into bed she remarks:
Did you shut the stairs door?
No. says James.
well, if it is not shut the cat will
get up into the bed room.
Let her come up, then, says James,
ill-naturedly.
my goodness, no L returns his wife !;
shed suck the baby's breath
Then James paddles down stairs
again and steps on tack, and closes
the stair door, and curses the cat and
returns to the bedroom. just as he
begins to climb into his couch his
wife observes:
Il forgot to bring mp some water.
Suppose you bring some in the big
tin.a
And so James, with a muttered
curse, goes down into the dark kitch-
en- and falls oyer a chair and rasps all
the tiny ware off the wall in search of
the big tin and then he jerks the stair
door open and howls:
eWhere the deuce are the matches
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather go and get the
water herself than have the neighbor
hood raised about it. After which
James finds the matches, procures the
water and plunges in bed. Presently
his wife says:
James, let's have an understand
ing about money matters. Now, next
week I've got TO pay
Il don't know what you've got to
pay, and 1 don't care,' shouts James
as he lurches around and jams his
face against the wall. sAll / want is
to 60 to sleep.
tThats all very well for you.' snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers vio
lently, you never think of the worry
and trouble have. And there's Ara
minta, who 1 believe is taking the
measles.
Let her take 'em,' says James, stick
ing his legs out as straight as two
ramrods.
1t seems TO me you have no sense
nor feeling whines the wife, and if
you had any respect for me you
wouldn't eat onions before you come
to bed. The atmosphere of the room
from the smell of onions is horrid.
sWeli, 60 down and sleep in the
kitchen, then, and let me alone,' says
James.
Herenpon she begins 10 cry gently,
but about the time James is falling
into gentle doze she punches him in
the ribs with her elbow and says:
did you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Jones?
What Jones p says James sleepiIy.
Why, Mrs Jones.
'Where? inquiries James.
Declare says mis- wife, you are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs Jones that lives at No. 81.
Well, day before yesterday Susan |
Smith told Mrs. Thompson that Sam |
Baker said that Mrs Jones had
Here she pauses aud listens. James
is snoring in profound slumber. With |
a snort of rage she pulls all the covers |
off him, and wraps herself up i'm them |
and lays awake until two a. M, think
ing how badly abused she is. And |
that is the way married woman goes |
TO sleep.-lP Pittsburgh Leader.