The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-04-01
PASSING SMILES.
UNDER the gaslight-the burner.
Bound East-the books published in

uOHuS uds oOltCu tuc ScM puZZic.
THE World presents the epitaph for
the Adam Monument-"A No. L." ~
People do not like to acknowledge
that they are poor, except to book
agents. fs kHs8seI e5 & f..ol
FASHIONABLE young men, are like
theatre bills. They are posted on the
waltz. -eG gza - te4tEo So 4 &
PEDIGREE is q great thing in its way,
but alone, it isn't worth cent on. the
back of q ninety.day note. q 10
A WAC got hold of an editors whisky
bottle and labeled It, 6 To be continued
in our necks."
A LooUAC1oUs drunkard can at ale un-
fold.-OH City DERRICK.
The young man who wants to get up
with the sun, must not sit up too late
with the daughter. -
"MorHER, your child may have
worms" says an advertisement in alarIn-
ing tones. :. Let him go fishing, -,
The bee and mule are too tender
hearted to look upon suffering. They
always turn their back when they
strike. f..sa "A
A YOUNG lady up town repels the do
mestic slander that she is "fluctuating. p
For Pm always at par-to buy me
something" er - :,
) Mrs. BLIFFERs says she never shall
give her twins pair O. goric. She thinks
one goric apiece is enough for them.
1T has been asserted that Noah was
the original drunkard, but If we are
not mistaken, Abel was the first man to
get "slewed.o gn.agar Aa5t
+ The force of the adage, Words are
Cheap is sometimes lost when you 60
to the telegraph Office to send cable
gram. - aAH ~ e
A MAN will remember sore finger
much longer than a kind look, but that
doesn't prove sore finger is any better
than kind look. 8 ae
+ LOTS Of young men will present girl
with $5 bouquet when her shoes are
alfrun over and she is in sad need of
new pair. The young have no judg-
ment. .ss..~y. o.sswsfI tf sse
| THE boy with his first watch mani
tests an uncontrollab desire to note the
exact second at which he meets every
person upon the street.
| OMAHA girls take saw-mills on q
breach of promise case.-Free Press.
When they loose their lovers, the saw
mills become their buzz 'em friends.
Anorr +wo.tb;rds of a mint Of air are
| ;nLaieS - .ooch braath IN ordinary res
l.na.eu na.. a IT, tha mon who shonts
Z plf rharcoo, a.r - mnst @ culn in about hogs
hesd If air Al each veil.
IT. Tnnan.ass;on - &c I1noosv lies the head
+ha4 TT wsa s = q crown" is absurd. because
No No. sensible kinr ever goes to bed with
~; ho $50 ~ Ha alwavs hanps II on
u,s .hs I. SsoI of q chair with his vest. 2 Addie
1u PovJ d a. sses-
DTXu. w. 1o,.s wos unbraided nv Mrs
r r. - 80 sba wss almost frightened
~ ~ AZ s' N ths house IN nighf alcne.
Ioras Ia,1 nlocidjv renlied. "Don't see
| a. blan,o foy vonr oetti no fright
4 as m 20 DIANE lor you. soonS SilrtI =.
ened Didn't come WITHIN mile OF tn0
.,
/ NY n1oes's. -. -. ,lu -. a lvon
-.1 ~ lsl5t ai1s niN : Ios oJ re ,,,,,
| Iasg ,. .naS W. W. 80 - % buttar--and the
4 cnances are presty ncAsJ . -.
l-y0u nave only 70 Lun . Wy. ..1sH
4 - -LxIL:-.tLa h-sdoo nf tho noae
4 in case of local colds. t,f.e-
| OPS =; 10 ,.il l,c,, on oISswer - said
4 BEFORE give you an answer, eolu ,
Armantha TO her rover, VINO -nao JuS'
70 imnartn "What is it dearest % he
asked. pressing his arm around hel
Welding waist. She biushed and stam
mered. "My teeth are false" Nc
matter" he cried heroicalIy, Cpl
NJ nv Won r, sn;te iof your teeth"
r. h;g w:aowaa friend
rhna,.h,a mAhk LIZ nho 'hos views on artl: g i,
= Is'tI trna tbat w von,ve N broken off with Sil
Hsrrss y :. ~ tar s,,1 Chasuble--ssA Alas
nee forced. to- although she i,
charming woman" Manville-
"Why?sA Chasuble-" Incompatibility
Of ccomuiexion. She does not suit my
furniture.s' aE
4 THERE was young man Of Podunk
Il Come hon from a. a pa party s,raaa ani'e or"nN
And Rd EiRcted with his feei--
It wasn't cat, but a.
| (But a-a-what is that word-r1
wasn't a cat but a-but a-a-a-an, ma
we have it,; - eoa
i =. e 1t wasn't a cat, but hen.
THEEs Was ;n ts nI SaIe II fears name
j And iu drove s am mule lea and ne'sa got hurt
~, For more Ia than ,,,si swsnty ss,:r ysars
I 0e, OF that that behold the proof,
1Jaar throrgh the stable roof
n o'ai EAs s'''o ~ = 20 500 - -Boss,a POST
4 FIVE huudred dollars reward il
! offered + the return of a dog to Mis-
Irene Lynch, OF NeM i1i. ;..as aae ~. ~.
- -, .on.;da-,
seelien nt .ne OI, dor e not wortl
% sfeat aI ~ h,f rva will IL
nre nN nunaiet % a. aI Una. ths @ our doc ia IN,
aMlsB LynCA sho O00A 'i'"o ouA JoS -
iongess, ine iuea sso ~ pu.s ,.ann,s srs smtfse
;mnar En aof hrs.d r' - Pscps Sun
ipg loi ,..u. -
Il THE American nat"rdaa eeiis Iunn:
. story about an OWL thst aS1ua.ay MIuh, :,