The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-05-20
MAIEszAxD.MHuMs.
idooD sads-shox4a prsttychsek. Fs2
IN old Wiseacre--a- deeayed- wisdom -

yeaB old, ana she can prove 1t by most
of her Sunday, plug hats.
THE stats 81 the sftitfeEof eur Office
window are iAra dilapidated condition.
Please help the blind"
IF 1t is true that the proportions of
the human figure are six times the
length Of the feet, what gian tesses the
Chicago girls must bel ze'-.ee f.-a...
s.Ir looks real easy and home-Iike to
see the baby at the table invariably eat
its bread with aspoou, white it picks up
molassss with nDfngefssss q lea = !.
az .qvIaasas .silass Ii4, R0stea have
ps1sss saa 4s; so~ 5onss
sions, Or noGconpensati6n.1 II an. i
Eas ABosroN theatrical company recently
played scene laid in a church so natur-
ally that to many of the audience it
seemed 80 real that they went to sleep.
H5 = lsssd Y 9.is hi1,sss hs.;sl f;,tntally St,
For even after he was dead =.
afa He took srpther bier.s vry,~~
AN erring citizen II f. ii Wayne,
while fshing on Sunday. last, had fit,
fell into the water and drowned sMoraE
Never have fit while fshing.-Albany
Argus. - agv zgels-.4 ,xAse.T aas-,. -
Ds. HALL says that every blade Of
ssass contains . sermon. 1 We can un-
derstand now why some people snaYe
their lawns down SO close. They Want
the sermons cut short 70 llamo9 |
i NEVER Sc afraid of the man who
challenges you to- fight 8 duel. He will
feel all That you.can feel, and more too.
The man who rushes at you with a spade
is the chap to look out for. .! J. gra Il.
AFTER sharp fash of lightning, the
other day.. q, little iye-year. old Essex
boy, looked up to his mother and said:
/" Mamma, T. guess, God scratched
pretty big match that Time, don't you9
:, ."aEoLEn again. as the cobbler said
when he ti finished l: tapping pair Of shoes.
dog remarked, when he few down the
street with kettle attacked to his tail.
aas /" WHAT is beyond this life7" asks the
Chicago Tines. Well, old boy, if you
like coda. water, you'd better reckon
on getting all you'll ever drink on this
side of the mystic line.-Detrot Free
Press. esa III agl-3 wa5sss $ 49,
= WHEN father fears that his daughter
is going to miss a good catch, he just
notifies the young man to keep away
from nef, ana IN less IMAM no Time, the
youth is moving heaven and earth to
get the girl.
The Detroit Free Press talks about "a
hen which will loaf around on top OF
nest full of eggs for the best part OF
month" If the Free Press man thinks
it's merely fun to sit on dozen of eggs,
let him try 1t once. 1915 Isa7 ts a
BEHOLD that man with lordIy gait:
Why does he hold his head SO straight
IT'S not for pride of wealth or fame,
nor glory of ancestral name, nor yet
that gems his garments deck. He's got
q boil upon his neck.
.THAT child ont West blown three
n;ias tbronrh tbe a;r and LODGED twens
ty.four hours in q tree top, may in the
old age have occasion to say, "But the
winds are nothing now to what they
were when / was young. aaa.eI 1.sssti5's
81 ,r.,vxr .,,.s,,, !, L., \, 80. aar,..a,
UIs A.aa ",ots maL .a~,.a. !" - - ,eooI
~ ~ ~ - tba oonararst;on ss conidn,F sissn
The Boston Post saws when people sit IN
six nights in 4 week to play keno they
want chance to sleep Sunday.
WHEN spelling Is nreformedn she,n write:
Tn sailins on the oshun;
The 1s a. e y s H. ,iah 70 saae amo1bnn IN sa.s
But one ..speii'' win not change its name,
ro' '..s = = " ~ '''s1 ,.- .-' 80
OalcAao Has Pol,cemah wno can
SPEAK the Engnsn, German, Trencn,
foiisn, ana Mecsn ianguaees. ne can
cup man IN nVe oinerent isAguaees
in less time than IL taxes an osolnary
policeman to MAKE common arrest In
hog Latin.
THE Mnnnfh0n kadependent saws "the
4. a. - 80, .-.'.. :II 80. -
oiHerence DegWeen IaliIoaA uckeI anu
an egg ia that the ticket is good until
u.aJ y And an 10 on auo ;f vnu live in a
ussu, Anu ~ 10 al 1sE - you nv
district infested with DOOK agenCs, ana
know how to properly apply them
OIL City Derrick. ~
A LITTLE cr;ri of Sullivan. Moultrie
~ M 1has the mast winter had. first
,vboo,;r. 81, couch then chicken nox. and
q few devs sSo took the measles. AS
sha Isv fass;nv mon her inflow abe
looked up st her father and said, ..Paps,
what comes nextf' s.;
A SON of Erin. who. by some strange
chance cot into a fioht Yesterday after
noon wss asked hy an acouaintance
some particulars in regard to the affair,
said he: "Well, sur, to tell you the
truth, saw but little of the fight.
was on the undther side of it." s.,..e
~ ~, -~;4...uI. rloco.1
Hn ~ nA S:@,. &C. ..' ,i,s - Janu
~ constans uilnc9i.y ~ oai,s 49, ~ & hoay
dnpaoTeu Snp;sJ ora, oanos ana % aas;n - He ouvht
uoteu uot ~ ooe, o.,.; 1I o!1 osr;.sn ststssmen
denv cbaroas Tho, have been nroyed.
oEsI ; wo%sn's ma h,iI, 8r
sCsnuans Ino LoM ~ my P~s'