Connecticut western news., 1880-11-24
THE LIME-KILN CLUB.
An Argument About Nothing-TrOu-
 ble Again-General Notes.

"Las' nite de ole woman an I went out to atten' aleetle banquet at de house of 8 nay ybur," began Brother Gardner as the dust settled down. "Fings was movin' off as slick as boy slidin' down a cellar door when ole Judge Spooner remarked dat it was an airly fall. At | torney. Gineral Blossom replied dat he'd seen good many airl1er falls dan dis. A dispute sot in den an dar; an afore it ended seberal guests had dar' heads punched an de festivities war broken up. It all cum from two men disputin' ober sunthin' of no consequence, an sunthin' boaf war ignorant about. You will notice dat de less some men know | about fngs de mere sot dey will be in argument. Dey seem to emagine dat loud talk an obstinacy will kiver up want ob knowledge. De pusson who am ready to fight in defense ob his ar- gyment feels de weakness ob his side. | De pusson who sticks to fng bekase he said it was so am bigot an not worf mindin'. Arguments keep principles furnished up, but dar am dividin' line between argument an abuse See to 1t dat you doan cross dis line. De man who can't argy an not lose his temper am too weak minded to be convinced by argument. De man who won't reason am bigot. De man who can't be con- vinced am fool an shouldn't be med dled with twice. We will now purceed arter de riglar programme
 | PETITIONS.
 There were sixteen petitions on the Secretary's desk, representing ten States and the Indian Territory. The most interesting came from New Orleans, and read as follows:
 1 GENTs-I am known as the Great Southern Mocking Bird. l initiate twenty-four species of birds, from the stately ostrich to the tiny canary. 1 warble. I carol. I twitter. l chitter. I break forth into sweet song. My bus mess standing can be certified to here | in the Custom House. My moral stand ing will be guaranteed by the First African Baptist Church in this city. I believe I would be 8 valuable addition to your club, and I therefore forward my humble application.
 Very truly,
 PARTICIPATE JONES, A. M.
 Gen. Piebald Smith arose and said that he could vouch for the character of the applicant, having known him for the past ten years, and on his motion the rules were suspended and MT. Jones was placed among the candidates for election.
 | THE ELECTION.
 The following candidates can send for their sheepskins as soon as convenient |:
 Artemas Ball, Gen. Bones, Divine Brown, Uncle Divy, Participate Jones, Elder Harker, Lengthy Davis, Stricken Whipples.
 The Committee on Harmony reported that the Concord School of Philosophy and the Chicago Chamber of Metaphys- ics were again by the ears, and had asked the assistance of the Lime-Kiln Club to settle their dispute. The Con- corders held that nature could not make mistake; the Chicago philosophers contended that she could be thrown off her balance. Neither would recede from the position taken, and the club was appealed to.
 "I wish de dispute had bin on de sub ject of beans or 'taters," observed the old man as he scratched the bald spot on his head C Kin natu' be frowed off her balance? Dat's 'cordin' to how we look at it. If I've got my corn planted an hung up de hoe an long comes a week rain, pat de ole gal on de back. If my naybur war jist ready to plant, he gins de ole lady away in ferocious language an kicks de dawg all ober de house. De Concord folkses should change dar' assertion to: Natur' cannot favor one widout offendin' anoder. As to de second, Natur' has no pertickler track to trabble on :; one day am glorus an de nex' dismal. One day am dry an de nex' wet. She roars an raves, an she sings an sighs, an we have to take it as it comes. She has no balance, an she can't be depended on. Darfore de Chicago folkses should give way on de original dispute an sot up de claim dat Natur' am cratic. De club will den be in full sympathy wid 'em, fur we have seen 'levcn sorts of weather heah in two days, an purity short days, too." NO USE.
 Carniverous Mozart, a leading citizen l of Cohoes, N. Y., forwarded communi cation in which he stated that he was the inventor of new method for fasten. ing boot-straps, and he desired to pass } over half his interest in tho invention tc the club, in case it would go in with hin ! and secure patent and work up Q de mand for the new style.
 5 "De Sekretary will let him down soft 7 ly, but at de same time inform him da 7 de club can't see any money in it," re l piled Brother Gardner "Fact is, a. we all know, straps am fastened to bute v legs merely for show. When it come! down to bizness de bizness man cut l holes in de bute-legs for his fingers, an de butes have got to come on or de up pers give way.
 DON'T BELIEVE IN IT. a Under date of Selma, Ala., Shadracl v Shakeskin, prominent colored man il !, that locality, informed the club that strange and ancient darkey calling him :; self the "New Healer," was passing I about among his race and pretending t. e work miraculous cures by the laying ol l of hands, burning locks of their. wool e burying their stockings, etc. His capi e tai in trade was the statement that h.