Morning journal and courier., 1880-01-08
FOLLYCLES.

The mother of vinegar is very sharp old lady.-Picayune.
 | .'Mr. Jones will please take the chair," as Mrs. Jones said when they were moving. s'I have theory about the dead languages, D said student s'What Is it ?" asked the pro- lessor. '.That they are killed by being stud jed too hard.'
 An exchange says young lady in Ohio who recently tilted her lover assigned as reason that her fathers circumstances would not ad- init of his supporting larger family.
 The papers are altogether 'stoo fresh" with their stories of canine sagacity. What we want are a few instances of human sagacity. They would be so refreshing Boston Tran script.
 Last nights mail brought poem beginning:
 Why doth my Julis hide her face
 what sorrow doth the teardrops send
 To dim her eyes calm light?
 Of course we can't decide thIs question until af- ter writing to Julia but the chances are that she is going to sneeze.-Pittsburg Commercial
 Not long ago an Irishman applied to an oyerseer in Tyne shipyard to be put on a job. He was informed that he could not comply with his request; but as Pat contin- ued to gaze earnestly at an anchor which was lying in the vicinity, the foreman repeated his reply that there was no work for him, and ad- vised him to go way. 'Devil bit will I storr, SOFT, repH6O 1hU, l see tue mau k0Ab s going to use that pick !"
 Scene at dinner.-Young Simpkins has been studying in vain on some means of open ing conversation with his fair neighbor-so far total failure-happy thought-he will ask her if she loves game-she will say |: s'Yes; do you 7"-he will answer: 'sYes, game of cards'-young lady will laugh at joke and repeat to her neighber, and simpkins will be smiled on. Simpkins asks the question young lady says 'sno"-confusion of Simpkins and conversation ceases.-Oil City Derrick.
 There was sadness in every eye as the members of the club softly filed in and took their seats. Each one had seen the crape on the hall door, and each one had been told that death had again invaded Paradise Hall. stGemlen began the president, as he rose up and looked down the hall at the vacant seat bedecked with crape, Cit am my painful dooty to inform you dat Brudder Torpedo Hunt am no more on dis earth. He passed away las night arter an illness of only free | days. Torpedo was our brudder, an an earnest worker in de cause, continued the president; ssbut if stan heah to yulogize him, mus not forgit dat he had his faults If de troof can't hurt de Twin it can't harm de dead. Torpedo was great han to git up airly in de mawnin', an to work hard all day, but his chill en went bar foot all winter jist de same. He was kind to his wife and felt bad for de poo, but he nebber played yuker WlUOut u0sln tWO 6AtEh OUWcIb uR HIS sleeve. He didn't get drunk, but no rail l fence had any bizness widin mile of his cabin in winter. He didn't ingaige in rows and riots, but his enemies got hit wid brick-bats all de same. We saw him at church on Sun day, settin' good 'zample fur de young, but he'd turn in next day an try to win de big prize in 8 lottery. It was about haf-an-hai wid him. When we say dat of any man we hev hit him pretty clos. When we hev given de dead all de praise dey sought to gain when Twin, no mans mem'ry kin ask fuz 1 more. Torpedo was up to de average, an he am dead" Colonel Damson, Brown took the floor, and said life was short and uncertain, and it behooved every man to have his house in order. He wanted to make a confession and clear. his conscience. Six years ago he poisoned dog belonging to Esquire Smith, of Hastings street, a neighbor of his. Both were now mem- bers of the club, and in the presence of all he would confess, ask forgiveness and pay l what the canine was worth. There was Q great clapping of hands as he sat down. Then Esquire Smith arose, his face wreathed in smiles, and he replied that he distinctly re- membered the dog case, but that the Colonel didn't owe him anything. The dog hadn't been dead six hours when he killed and ate the ColonePs goat and stole half cord of his wood, and he thought the thing was about even.-Detroit Free Press. sy
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