The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1880-04-04

JG. Ella: Adam sas married on
his wedding Eve, 81 co1Ess.
Judd Thompson: The P~sonograph has
evidently talked itself 10 death.
Hi Kelley: A woman stung Is the
nearest approach 10 perpetual motion.
n A. Arnold: A Texas man knows
himself-he sat down on a hot branding
iron.
o. II. Whiteomb: The person who
retires with the sun has a warn bed
fellow.
T. Jef Carr: One half the world don't
know how the other half live-and it's
none of their business.
in 81: "Man Is mot hopeless
ly evil" says a proyerb. Neither is
woman hopelessly good.
w. G. provinces: The young man who
wants TO get up with the sun must not
sit up too late with the daughter.
J. w. Medium: A suspicion Is a
feeling that impels you 10 try TO lind out
something which you don't wish 10
know.
Judge Bean: There are only three
ways Of getting out of n scnpe-write
out; back out but the best way is to
keep out.
J. X. jeffrey: l have seen men who
denied the coming Of the Judgment, but
never n who felt skeptical about the
tax collector.
G. A. Starlight: Two things in nature
are detestable-a girl who is trying to
be a woman, and n woman who Is try
ing TO be a girl.
Charley Terry: A woman was the
inventor OF the hay-press. slsrgot the
idea from wishing she could he Rugged
on all sides at once.
Clerk Tompkins: The man who only
takes a wooden toothpick at the restau-
rant Is the one who finds most fault
with the chief cook.
Andy Ryan: Things have come TO a
pretty pass with a man when he comes
down 10 a bad half dollar aud n saloon
that he cannot pass.
John c. Friend: It Is hard to please
a man who does not wish TO lie lied
about and who cannot hear 10 have the
truth told about him.
A. c. Trailing: You can always tell
a clerk in n dry goods store from the
millionaire proprietor, by the good
clothes the clerk wears.
A. ii. Reel: When a boy becomes
ashamed to sit in his mothers lap, I've
Is generally In business for himself
holding some one in his lap.
ii. \. Oliver:
wives Of great men all remind u,
We make our wives sublime.
By the purchase OF spring bonnets.
II we purchase them In time.
Billy Irvine:
Summer time win come again.
with It's soniy blowing zephyrs.
Lowing kline are on the range,
Some are cows aud seine are heifcrs.
Judge Kingman: business is business.
Put ten men on an island, each with
ten dollars. In ten months one man
will have n hundred dollars and the
others nothing.
Sergt. McGovern: Permit me to call
attention TO the fact that under the
new rules, remarks upon the weather,
like debate on the motion to adjourn,
are not In order.
Tom Swan: How VIC love the joyous
springtime! And so does the small boy,
who, with the first sniff of warm
weather, determines to leave home and
become a mountain desperate.
Lieut.. Norris: The woman who fights
for the leadership Of the family may
capture the enemy, but she'd better
shoot him on the field; he'll never be
any account rs a prisoner Of war.
J. s. Taylor: When a man finds a
place that Is pleasanter to him than his
own home, his wife should put two
Jumps Of sugar in his coffee, and double
the quantity of sunshine in the front
room.
Phil Dater: The cherry tree story
about George Washington has been ex-
ploded. 1t is now known it was a
persimmon tree, and, the fruit being
green, 1t puckered little Georges mouth
so he couldn't tell a lie.
DIR. Hooker: A Utah man a te thirty
mince pies in one hour, on a wager,
and died the next day. lie might have
known it. II he had sandwiched in
forty boiled eggs and twenty-six pickles
his life might have been saved.
Marshal Schnitger: Six medical New
York experts examined n man rs to his
sanity and were evenly divided. After
they had wrangled about II for n week
II was discovered that they had exam
ined the wrong person altogether.
Jim Hanniin: A ''sum" in arithine-
tic. II you get one towel out Of
one yard Of cloth, how many towels
can you get out Of two yards? Joe
Crutchfeld SAYS it depends altogether
on how many there are on the clothes
line.
A. X. Rex: The game Of sixteen Is
played ut the front gate, with one foot
on the bottom and both arms across the