Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-05-21
F. U n

came strolllng into the big tent just after
the close of the afternoon performance,
and the. animals were talking politics,
having caught it from the chatter they
heard in the audience. They didn't know
great deal about politics in the cages.
but that, you know, children, is no bar to
talking politics. Indeed no. Some of our
congressman, who hold on to Office the
longest, and talk the most and loudesJ,
dont-but digress. The elephant lis
tened to the rest Of the animals fer a little
while, and then he said to the giraffe:
9sWho is your candidate for President2"
''Blaine,' said the giraffe.
eyes," the elephant said, 'sthat's you.
Your ideas are always up. You can't get
your head out of the top Of pine tree
Just because Mr.. Blaine was so quick to
see whore the giraffe came ia, in DR.. Gar
celon g menagerie, you think he will pay
particular attention to you. Take care of
yourself, my aristocratic friend. Your
head isn't as long as your neck by forty
feet. You can't come the giraffe over me,
Mr.. Blaine. say, "Old Faithful" he
continued, addressing the big dog in the
"Happy Family, "''who is your MANI"
The Newfoundland said he was for John
Sherman.
''Yes,,' the elephant said, 'sbecause he's
interested in the cur rency. If he is cleo
ted you will want the tariff put upon dog
wood, just the same as Peruvian bark
Well, go ahead, howl for free ballot and
unmuzzled press, and don't whine if you
are beat. as you usually do. Jean Val
jean," he went on, turning to tie tiger.
''who do you go for?"
"Any man that comes close to my cage, "
replied the amiable animal in the coivict's
suit.
Correct you are,'' said the elephant;
gin balloting. Who is the next animal
to voter"
The hyena said he was for Tilden, first,
last and all the time.
''I'll bet you,' commented the elephant,
'anybody might know you would go for
dead man, Wretched apotheosis of an Ohio
medical student. All, you Seventeenth
ward resurrectionist, you'l run against a
Circleville torpedo some of these days that
will knock that smile Of yours into cooked
hat. Any respectable citizen of the me
nagerie ready to express his preference be-
fore close the polish"
The tortoise said be was in favor of Fitz
John Porter.
''Of course you are,'' said the elephant,
''because he moves just about fast enough
to suit your gait. If he doesn't move for
ward any livelier for the presidency than
he did for Gen. Pope he won't hear of the
nominations until six weeks after the e.ec-
ton. You'd make good running mate
for him in war time, and you ought to get
along pretty well in politics. The next
geological wonder and living curiosity will
step up lively; can't keep these polls open
all night. we've got to dress for the even
ing performance yet"
The turkey expressed himself warmly in
favor of David DAVIS.
Right you are," said the elephant
ssAni that's because he keeps you compa-
ny on the fence all the time. Moreover,
he looks more like me than any other of
the candidates. and 1t is eminently proper
and respectful in you to support him on
that account. Any other voice from the
plains and Jungles?"
The gopher shouted as Justify as he could
for Mr.. Seymour.
''Sure enough, +" said the elephant, ''be-
cause he stays in his little hole all the time;
just like yourself. Well. gopher him if
you wish; this is a free country, except the
menagerie, which costs you just one quar-
ter of dollar every time you look at it,
Come, now, move along lively now or
you'll lose your votes; polls close in -
The wild ass of the desert here stepped
to the front and roared his voice for De La
Natyr, of Indiana. amid the widest en-
thusiasm and loud hootings throughout
the tent.
The elephant winked at the cages with a
merry twinkle in his eye. That's right.
my brave cactus-eater." he said; ''you are
naturally and properly one of Mr.. De La
Martyrs followers. Braves him up to the
skies if you want to. Nepotism is fashion
able in this country now. Next voter?"
The monkey timidly said that if he was
allowed to vote he should vote for
proctor Knott!" roared the whole me-
nagerie, but the elephant said, sternly:-
''There. now; enough of that; no intimi-
dation at the polls. No one else2 Oyez!
Oyez! The polls are closed and the judges
will now proceed to count the ballot"
He then announced the result of the
vote as follows: Grant, 81.
'sBut," inquired the animals, '.how does
that come ?"
swell said the elephant, sit comes, all
the same, all the same, and don't you for
ret it. Don't 1 weigh more than all the
menagerie put together? What do you
animals know about politics, anyhow 20
And the animals were all pleased to
think they we're allowed to vote, anyhow,
and they were delighted that the election
vas over and their man elected, so they
gave three cheers for Grant and rolled
around in the straw to dress for the even
ing's Burlington Ha,ck- Eue.
A Western judge is reported to have
thus addressed a person convicted before
him. prior to passing sentence: prisoner
at the bar, Providence has given you a
good degree Of health and strength, in
stead Of which you 90 about the country
stealing ducks"
=
Lady: Chow much is this yard2'
Clerk: 'Three dollars and half. It is
am elegant material-double: it can be
worn both sides. If you tear one side
you've only to turn it on the other side.''