Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-10-21
Spoopsndyke's Suspenders.
Bruoklyn Eagle.

Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopendyke
as he stretched himself and drew on hi.
pantaloons, you've cleaned these trouser,
up first rate. This is what call economy
IL saves money. If I'd taken EN- to the
taior's it would have cost couple of dol.
lars at least, and you've saved Just that
amount" and Mr. Spoopendyke went to hi,
ablutions and then pulled on his shirt
'Tl clean your coat too, if you like"
said Mrs. Spoopendyke. leave It at home
some day and I'll take this spot out Of the
sleeve, and Mrs. Spoopendykc hustled
around and looked delighted with the idea
of pleasing her husband
Where's my suspenders?" ?" asked Mr..
Spoopendyke. screwing himself around and
looking down his back You didn't clean
the suspenders clear out of sight, did YOU ?''
They were there when YOU put on your
pants, said Mrs. Spoopendyke haven't
touched them. What did YOU do with
them
'.Oh. yes, certainly. l did something
with them. What dye 'spose did with
them? Think | set 'em up in business
somewhere, don't YEP Got an idea gave
EN- vacation to 20 fishing haven't We ?
Well. didn't, and more'n that, didn',
send them away TO be educated for the min
istry. Where's my suspenders9 Where did
YOU put EN- Spose I'm gong around
holding those pants up all day? Think |
got no business interests besides holding on
my breeches with both hands, What id
YOU do with the measly things"
ii know | didn't take them off the pants"
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, pulling open the
bureau drawers and hustling things around
IN vain endeavor TO find the missing
articles.
May be can fix your pants so YOU won't
need any suspcnders to-day, and III find
them before night" suggested Mrs. Spoop-
cndyke
That's it. You've got it," raved Mr..
Spoopendyke. "liow are YOU going 70 fix
en-? Gong to tie EN- on with aShoestring.
like YOU do your bustle' Going to walk
round behind me all day and hold EN- on p
Traps You can pull EN- up and button EN-
around my neck How dye propose 10 fix
EN-? Going 10 put 'em Oh me upside down
so # they fail they'll fall up2 If had YOUR
head d 90 out TO service rs a file. Fix EN-
up, why don't YEP Why don't We tix EN- ?
These trousers are getting sick at the ,tom-
aeh waiting TO be fixed :" and Mr. Spoopen-
dyke shot across the room and dove under
the wardrobe in search Of the lost suspend
ers.
They must be there somewhere" said
Mrs. Spoopendyke
''Show EN- To me then :" demanded Mr..
take stick and point EN-
out to me OF course they're somewhere.
only Just put your thumb on EN-. What
have yr done with EN- Can't We rccollect
neither We made 'ern up into hat bands for
The heather like you did my dressing gown.
or whether you planted them to SET if they
would grow, like YOU did my straw hat
! hink they walked off ike a croton bug
agP SaPo,Gf Ih29af 9sf, f4apeRafyya Rarr ,stGR sh&s
howled Mr. Spoopendyke.
poking around in the soiled clothes bag
Where. those suspenders ?" and he pulled
The books off the shelf and rummaged
around behind the case with broom handle
for divining rod
Just let me buckle them tight behind"
said Mrs. Spoopendyke the strap will hold
them"
That's the scheme" shrieked Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke; something's got to hold them
Ii was sharp as YOU Id get rich hiring
out for an oyster knife. All YOU want is to
have somebody sit cross legged on YOU and
come home two weeks after YOU re expected,
10 be tailorshop, Going to find those dog
,asied Suspenders between now and the
next war -
Il know they were on his pants when he
put them on" mused Mrs. Spoopendyke,
upon little inductiye reasoning.
He didn't take them off, and so they must
be there now" and the good woman ap-
preached her husband with a smile
'Oh, now they're going to be fixed" said
Mr.. Spoopendyke with horrible grin
''P'raps you're going to put button holes in
your hands and feet and hang over my shoul-
iers, amt ye? Want me to put EN- on over
nv head like measly shirt with two nicks
and iiounce to it, don't ye' Maybe YOU
think those suspenders hurried down to
breakfast, SOS to get the first crack at the
morning paper, don't you'"
But Mrs. Spoopendyke made no response
Opening the back OF her husbands fiuttering
shirt.she saw the missing suspenders He
had slipped them over his shoulders before
assuming the muslin, and had forgotten all
about them.
Smart a whip, amt ye?" growled Mr.
as he drew off his shirt and
let the suspenders down. '.lf my head was
as clear a. yours Id hire out for church
bell. You only need four lenses and drop
Of rain water to be a microscope" And
Spoopendyke hurried on his clothes and
scuttled down stair. to get the morning pa
per before his wife could make a clutch al it,