Morning journal and courier., 1880-02-18
THE BALANCE OF TRADE.

It is the man with the rheumatism who is every inch king.
 An instance of precocity is the ease of the little boy who asked his mother if crows were hatcheh from roosters eggs.-Andrews Bazaar.
 A child being asked what were the three great feasts Of the Jews, promptly and not unnaturaliy replied: Breakfast, dinner and supper"
 Sacramento paper speaks of a Senator with half-jaunty air about him. Many of | them do have sort of demijohnty air about them.- Vallejo Chronicle.
 'tPapa, what makes some printers always drink so hard ?" said wise little Johnny the other evening. q thought they always drank easy enough" growled the old man as he | looked up from the evening paper. "John, we won't have potatoes enough for dinner, with so much company; what shall we | do" ''Tell them we've lost our potato masher and the girl had to use her hands They won't ask for any," said John.-Oil City Derrick.
 ''There's something about your daughter" Mr. Waughop said refectively, there's something about your daughter" stYes," said old Mir. Thistlepod, ''there is; had nc ticed it myself. It comes every evening about eight o'clock, and it doesn't get away usually till about two. And some of these nights I am going to lift it all the way from the front parlor to the side gate and see what there is in it."-Hawkeye.
 A true story for boys and girls: A certain young man "went home" with certain young woman night or two ago, and being invited into the house prolonged his stay till half-past 12. The mother of the maiden was there deeply interested in her daughters welfare. and calmly waited for the visitor to leave. At last he looked at his watch and cooIIy re- marked, ''Why, it's about bedtime, isn't it ?" ''Yes," the equally frigid reply and if you'll stop half an hour longer we'll put you to bed" The young man went. He had no in- vitation to call again.-Spripgfeld Republi- can.
 Several men were gathered at the door of blacksmith shop on Cass avenue the other morning, when a schoolboy not over nine years of age came along with tears in his eyes, and one of the group asked 'What's the matter, boy-fall down?" ''N-no but I've got hard 'rithmetic lesson, and I expect to get licked !' was the answer. 'eLet me see, used to be king-bee on fractions" The man took the book, turned to the page, and read s'Rule Find the least common multiple of the denominators of the frac- tions for the least common denominator. Divide the least common denominator by each denominator and multiply both terms of the fractions by the quotient obtained by each denominator." He read the rule aloud and asked if any one could understand it. All shook their heads, and he then continued: Well, now, think should go to work and discover the least uncommon agitator. I would then evolve parallel according to the intrinsic deviator and punctuate the thermom- eter." ''So would ]" answered every man in chorus, and one of them added: 'Tve worked lem out that way thousand times '" Not one of the men, all of whom were in busi- ness and had made money, could even under stand the working of the rule, much less work examples by it; and yet it is expected that little nine-year old boy should go to the black board and do every sum off hand.-Detroit E,-oo