Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-12-30
ODDS AND ENDS,

/
New York is aching for social novelty,
and threatens to revive spelling bees.
Natur luvs plum if she doesn't she
never would have made a munky. Josh
Billings.
Mrs. Hastings, the young lady who was
married at the White House two years ago.
has named her baby daughter Lucy Hayes
Hastings.
The experienced Lowell Courier tells the
unsophistocated public that the new dane
ing girls from India are Nautchy but
they're nice.
'All seems to hinge on this, " remarked
the lover when he proposed to his sweet
heart while swinging on the gate in front
of her house.
Glass in History-Professor What
important parsonage was confined on the
Island of ST. Helena?" Mr.. II. ROB
inson Crusoe."
There is a domestic cat at Hartford,
Conn, which weighs 271 pounds, and it's
owner assert that it is the largest animal
of the kind in the world.
A Baltimore clergyman recently preached
on the subject "Why was Lazarus
beggar ?" We suppose because he didn't
advertise. Il Burlington Hawkeye.
Some cigars tiftytwo years old, which
have lain most of the time in garrett, for
gotten, have been brought to light in
Rochester. They were almost tasteless.
What is the difference between Columbus
and his countrymen of the present day
Columbus made an egg stand, but the
Italians nowadays often make the peanut
stand.
The census shows something like 20 per
centum more females than males In the
country population. Well, we can't have
too much of good thing. L Rockland
Courier.
ST see that my little sister has been sold
for So, 000 shall order asealskin blanket
tomorrow The Vanderbilts have got the
cash. and don't let it escape your memory"
MAUD S.
1t is fortunate thing for Shakespeare
that he established solid reputation be-
fore the newspaper critics of America had
a chance to cut him up New Orleans
Picayune.
So many persons commit suicide by
jumping off the bridges across the Tiber at
Rome that a philanthropical society keeps
boatmen at each bridge in order to rescue
the unfortunate.
A returned Australian found the baby he
left at home miss of five summers. One
day he offended her, and she fretfully ex-
claimed, II wish you had never married
into the family"
L.
already been discovered that during the
present winter ice will, as usual, freeze
with the slippery side up Philadelphia
Chronicle. Herald.
A European paper says that Patti has
become convert to the Wagnerian school
of music. On account of her wealth we
suppose the unfortunate lady will be placed
in private asylum.
The British Government has had tri-
umph in Galway. With one hundred con-
stabulary, led by three officers and COM
manded by two stipendiary Magistrates,
they have just captured a COW.
'My learned brother" said a lawyer,
with sneer at bis opponent, talks too
much about himself. And that may it
please the Court, is the reason that his re-
marks are usually so uninteresting.
Colonel" said man who wanted to
make out genealogical tree" Colonel,
how can become thoroughly acquainted
with my family history?" ''Simply by
running for Office, answered the Colonel.
Brooklyn's police are the latest who
have mistaken very sick man for a drunk
ard. Do policemen themselves never be-
Sc Il of
any cause but rum ?-[Worcester Times.
The editor of the New York SIN alludes
to the editor of the Cincinnati Commercial
as Field Marshal Halstead The public
may now expect to have the other editor
held up to public derision as the 2:l91
Dana"
''There is one port" said old Aunty
Homeson, e that almost everybody strives
for and that some never make" "What
port is that, aunty % asked her
nephew, and she meaningly answered,
Support.
MA" said young lady to her mother,
SIS it wrong for young folks to dance
round dances ?" 81 think" broke
in maiden aunt, " that when young folks
dance round dances thered better be some
old folks round.
Billy Forrest has written for Tinsley's
Magazine sketch of sailor who in 1879
jumped from the steamer Russia and trieu
to save boy, being almost drowned him
self The sailor afterward became famous
as Webb, the swimmer.
DIR. Ebers, the well-known Psychologist,
has obtained at Thebes an ancient Egyptian
papyrus roll containing treatise on medi-
cine. When the Doctor comes to the doc
ument he will probably discover that it is
only disguised advertisement of some
Yankee nostrum.
sThe people of Sandusky to-day stand
in the twilight OF great tragedy" is the
way in which an article in Sandusky pa
per begins. By carefully perusing it we
learn that somebody's barn is liable to be
fred by sparks from passing locomotives.
and also, inferentially, that another col
lege graduate has gone into the newspaper
business.