davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
Census Takers.
lDetrtlt Free Press.l

|
In few days more the census man
will take his book under his arm and
start out to make his mark OH this
decade Under the new law they
have legal right to answer about
five hundred question, but there is
such thing as census man going
too far. 1t is well enough for de-
fensclcss families to know where the
line is drawn.
No CELSIUS man has Alright to dis
pute u woman when she gives her
age. Under the law lie can elevate
his eyebrows ahd exclaiIn did you
evcr!" when female supposed to
be forty. five returns her aye al thirty
two, but lie must stop right there.
He may wonder 10 himself where OIL
earth all the grandmotliprs Of this
country have suddenly slipped 10,
but he mustn't wonderful you. a..
No census man has a legal right to
ask a woman il she is living with her
first, second or third husband, or
whether she quarrels more with the
third than the first. The law sup
poses every family to be living in
peace and harmony, and the United
States government never takes any
notice OF a family row brought OH by
the hired girl being kissed in the
dark.
Under the law no census takcr has
any right to ask wife how many
evenings in q week her husband is
out after ii O'Clock, or what is the
subject of her remarks when lie slips
in at the side door. This great and
glorious government has always been
conducted on The principle that clubs,
lodges and societies were part Of
| its foundation. 4i
The law does moi specify that the
census man shall ask wife if she
couldn't have done better by waiting
| for d second offer. This information
is supposed TO be cheerlully volun-
teered. aud is marked with n big red
*" to signify the official belief that
If she hadn't accepted the offer she
did she would have died an old maid.
A baby with the measles counts
just as much in law as one galloping
around barefooted in the front door
yard. The law requires the census
taker to remark that your baby is the
lhandsomest one in the world. If he
neglects to do so he should be called
| back. e..,.s
For the benefit of wives who do
their own housework, and are
ashamed TO have 1t known, blanks are
furnished with heating which
reads: ais generally in the habit of
keeping four servants, but has just
given her help vacation" ar'7
The new law Is also very generous
in another matter. The census taker
may legally inquire who lives next
door, but Il is supposed that most
women will iii out and sign the fol-
lowing: "Family named Blank; no
stvlc about 'em; he wears a shabby
hat, and she never combs her hair nn-
til 3 o'clock p. M, they have car
riage, but don't believe it's paid halt
for they allow their children TO throw
stones at our dog, and permit them
to play OH mouth organs; they say
she has diamonds, but l don't be-
lieye It; lots ofcallers, but presume
they were there 10 collect bills. To
all Of which subscribe myself" &c.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
LETTER FROM TEXAS.
Travis; Co. TEXAS, May 80, 1880.

Travis; Co. TEXAS, May 80, 1880.
Ed. South Kentuckian:
This being day of rest, have
been thinking Of the change on Ma
ture's face since last yenr, and the let
ter wrote some months ago TO your
paper, "about Texas" AS my first
was disc0uraging, my conscience now
smiles me Tor u part | wrote, and to
atone, with your permission, l write
one more encouraging.
Texas was never more blessed with
crops OF small grain, and never had
better prospects Tor corn and cotton
Oats are cut and wheat partially so.
The yield of oats is put at 50 and 100
bushel per acre. Wheat to some cx-
tent was injured by cold and rust,
but the Nicaragua variety will
average thirty bushels, while other
kinds will hardly reach ten bushels.
The former is comparatively new
variety, has been introduced from
across the Border and South America.
II is red wheat and brings few
cents less OIL the bushcl, the objec-
tion 10 1t being 1t is too hard
and flinty. Corn is blooming and
silking. saw . man some time ago
who told me, that one of the northern
counties made two crops OF tobacco
from the same stalk, averaging 2400
pounds per crop. eau nos vouch
for the veraciiy OF the statement.
"Things politic' are now agituting
both white and colored "gemmen." |
think that the majority Of the people
prefer Bayard at the bat and Cook
Of Texas 10 play pig tail" The
copiing Presidential contest is gener-
ally recognized as d cfisis, turning
point for the worse, If the precedent
Is established which United States'
Grant is trying TO do. The negroes
here are divided to some extent, some
ofthe most intelligent are opposed to
Grant, they begin to see with all their
native stupidity and dupidity that his
forty acres aud u mule are not forth
coming as promised. There are be-
tween 20 and 10000 negro voters in
the State, and for as many dollars, |
can vote one half of them for any one
| Iclloose from president to constable
Our people have preferences ofcourse
but all the State press will support
1.-The Cincinnati nominee, who so
ever he may bep which l belieye is
S. j. T.. r.4s
Our old governor works "pro bono
populi," and thinks he was not elected
by the people to make All ass Of him
self as did the people OF Galveston,
when the prof. dead beat came there.
lie was invited to attend,s but de-
rlined. saying he was at the Capital
attending TO his official business. We
all say three cheers aud tiger for
the'.oli alcalde."
I have written enough so I close.
Respect fully. QUILP.
z. ST. was IN the cars the other
day, when crowd OF us were talking
of Jig caters, aud one man sand he
had Just returned from his old home
In Kentucky,a and while III n restaurant
at Henderson, n man came IN and ate
so long he had TO get an almanac to
sec what time he filed, he said he
watched him for two hours, and fol-
lowed him out and heard him nur-
muring Strawberries, brown-eyed
beauties, Goldfish, beef" and soon he
ascertained his name was Sam IIarri-
son, do you know any one. by that
name in Henderson?
Ou,,p
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
The Hcrse-An Essay BY Ike Part.
ington,

The horse is a quadruped with four
legs, two behind and two before. he
has tail that grows to the hind part
of his body, that nature has furnished
him with to drive away the flies.
His head is situated on the other and
opposite his tail, and is used principal
'ly to fasten a bride to him by, and
put into manger to eat oats with.
Horses are very useful animals, and
people couldn't get along very well
without them, especially cabmen and
omnibus drivers, who don't seem to be
half greatiul enough because they've
got 'em. They are very convenient
animal in the country, in sporting
time, and go very fast over the coun-
try roads when the sportsmen stick
spurs in them, u species OF cruelty that
| would not encourage.
Horses are generally covered with
red hair, though some are white, and
oInvis aic Sl~y anu o'"e"'
Nobody ever saw blue horse,
whice is considered very strange by
eminent naturalists. The horse is a
quite and intelligent animal, and can
sleep standing up, which is a very
convenient gilt. especially where there
is crowd and it is difficult to get
chance to lie down.
There is a grcart variety OF horses,
clothes horses. horse mackerel, saw
horses, horse chestnut, chestnut horse.
and horse radish, The clothes, is a
very quite animal to have in house,
and in never known to kick, though
very apt to make row when it gets
capsized. The same may be said o
tho saw horse which will stand with
out lying. The horsc-ay is vicious
beast, and very annoying in the sum
mer when fellow is swimming
Horse mackcrel | don't know any
thing about, only that they SWIM il
the water, and are species of fish
Horse-chestnuts are prime to pei
the school MASTER with; and hors,
radish is mighty smart horse, es
pecially with roast beef.
The horse is found in all countries
principally in the livery-stablcs
where they may be hired by the mile
are considered by them as can get tn
money a great luxury. In Sout
America they grow wild, and tn
Indians catch them with nooses tina
they throw over the horses head,
which,must be thought by the horses
great noosance.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

A pretty dear Is dear to me,
A hare with downy hair,
love u hart with all ny heart Or. r.
But barely bare bear,
IT'S plain that no one takcsa plane
To nave pair Of pears,
A rake, though, often takes rake
To tear away the tafts.
All rays raise thyme, time raises all:
And through the whole, hole wears,
writ IN writing right" may write
IL wright" and still be wrong.
For wright" and riten arc neither "right,'
And don't " right belong.
Beer often brings bier 70 man.
Coughing q colin brings,
And too much ale VIII make all.
AS sell as other things.
The persnI lies whp sayshe lies
When he Is but reclining,
And whcH c0nsilln ptivc folks decline.
They all decline declining.
A quail don't quail before u storm:
a bOugh will bow before II;
We cannot rein the rain ut all;
No earthly powers reign e'er 1t.
The dyers dies awhile, then dies;
To dye he all ways trying
Until upon his dying bed
He thinks no more OF dying.
A son OF Mars mars many q sun;
All dcys must have their days,
And every knight should pray each night
To him who weighs his ways. -, -
'Tis meet that man should Inete out moat
To feed misfOrtune's sou; H
The fair should fare on love alone, a
Else one cannot be Won
A lass, alasl ID Something false;
Offaults maid is male; -
Her waist Is but barren waste
Though stayed she is not staid
The springs spring forth In spring and
shoots
shoot forward one and all;
Though summer X iiis the howcrssits leaves
The leaves TO fall 10 fall.
would a story here co o,nmencc,
But you might iind II stale;
But let's suppose that we have reached
The tail end OF our tale.
Chicago Inter- Ocean,
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
Husbands and Wives.

A good husband makes a good wife.
Some men can neither do without
wives nor with them, they are wretch
ed alone in what is called single
b1essedncss. and they make their homes
miserable when they get married;
they are like Tompkin's dog, which
could not bear to bc loose, and howl
ed when it was tied up. Happy
bachelors are likely 10 be happy hus-
bands, and happy husband is tie
happicst OF mon. A well-matchod
couple carry ioyinl life between
them, as the two spies carried the
cluster of Eshcol, They are brace
of birds Of Paradise They multiply
their Joys by sharing them, aud lessen
their troubles by dividing them this
is fine arithmetic. The wagon Of
care rolls lightly along as they pull
together. and when it drags little
heavy, or there's a hitch anywhere
they love oacl other W th, moro, anl
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15


This is little Johnny's composition
on the "Roil Bengol Tiger One
time there was a man which had a tag
ger, and the tagger it was sho, and
the man he TUX, The money fur to git in.
The man he had big paper Lailcd
ento tho taggcr's den, aud the paper it
said, the paper did: The Roll Bcngoli
Tagger, sometimes called the Monnerk
OF the Jungle. Hands Of. No techil)
the Tayger. The monnerk otthe jun
gle it was always a lyin down withits
nose between its poz, and the Tolks
which had paid for TO git in they was
mad coz it wudn't wock and roar like
distant thunder But the sho man lie
said. That's oil rite when | get the new
cage done but this is the same which
the ofile icller broke out in Oregon.
time he ct up them seventeen mon ami
their families. Then the folkes they
wodld 'oi stand back and took in whis-,
pcrs while the ;aggcr slept. But one.
day fellcr which was drunk he take
to punchen the tagger with the mast
head Of his umbrellcr, which, stamped
ed the oddience wild, and the winnir
iokes they stud into, chairs and holler-
cd like it was mouse, but tho drunk
chap he keep ajobbin the monnerk of
the jungle crewel. Pretty sumo tho
monnerK it bellcrd oflle and wagglc,l
bit the frllcr KEEP a pokin like he was
fireman to a steam engine. Bineby
the monnerk it jumped onto its hino
irets and chucked itself out OF its skin
and roIlcdup It's sleels and spit OIL It, I,
its hands and spoke up and said;l
behang ii | can't jest wollip the pea
green stullin out the gum dasted so
Iyot which has been proddin this era
laggorP And the oddicncc they was
u stonished."
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15

A woman of brains suggests that
girls, no matter how wealthy their
families, should be brought up to
some occupation whereby they can
earn an honest living in the hour OF
need. How many parents are bring
log up their daughters in this way?
BY practice, if not by preccpt, every
daughter of well-to-do parents is in
culcatcd with the idea that her proud
and inevitable destiny is to be some
mans wife and be supported BY him
in easy idleness. And this very thing
causes many a man, who has been &c
unfortunate as to have become the
life parent of such daughter. to loob
back upon a wasted and missrrnt lie
~ EycLaopc
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
--- -
Baby Prizes, $500.

An eminent bankers vile of---
N. Y, has induced the proprietors Of
that great medicine, Hop Bittcrs, to
offer 5000 in prizes to the youngest
child that says Hop Bitters plainly,
in any language, between May l,
1850, and July A, 1881. This is a
liberal and interesting offer, and
everybody and his wife should send
two cent stamp to the Hop Bitters
Mig. Go. Rochester, N. Y, U. S. A.,
for circular, giving iull particulars
and begin at once to teach the children
to say Hop Bitters and secure The
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
W Worklngmen.

Before you begin your heavy spring
work after winter of relaxation, your
system needs cleansing and strength
cning to prevent an attack OF Ague,
Bilious or Spring Fever, on ,sonis
other Spring sickness that wiliunlft
yon for season's word. You wilt
save time, much sickness and great
expense if you will use one btt'le of
Hon Bittcrs in your family this month.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
The Orange Tree.

The orage tree is the longcst-livod
fruit tree known. II is rcputed to
have attained the age of 800 years,
and been known to flourish and bear
fruit more than 100 years No fruit
tree will sustain itself and produce
fruit so well under neglect and rough
treatment. II begins to. bear about
the third year after budding, and by
the fifth year produces am abundant
crop, though tho yield is gradually
increased BY age and favorable cir
cumstancs. The carly growth Of
the orange is rapid, and by its tenth
year il has grown more than 1t will
in the next fifty, so far as its breadth
and height arc concerned; butin Is
age itmultipllcs its fruit stems.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15


crowning the hostess queen. The
school where Mrs. Window educates
her children is in their own home, and
she herself is their sole teacher.
What is of rare occurrence both SEN
ator Window and his gifted wife are
blessed with that indeiinable quality
we call magnetism, rendering their
society most attractive. 1rt
MRS. GEN. GARFIELD.
Mrs. tien. Garfield IS OF delicate
form in rosy health, domestic,
devoted mother, fitting her four
young generals for college or
for active life, lady OF sunny spirit
and OF very quiet. dignifed bearing
MRS. JUDGE EDMUNDs.
The wife of the NestOr of the Sen-
ate Edmund, is person OF fine cult
ure. The first impression Is that OF
repose, and gentleness,. .and quiet dig
nifty, with a solf manner not in the
least self.scrvice. OF medium figure
and brunette complexion, the arched
eyebrows remind one ofihose French
beauties, such as the old masters
were fond of delincating as express
lsiye of devotional spirit AT once.
as YOU enter Mrs. Edmunas draw
lag room. you perceive an air OF re-
fined domestic culture. such as pcr.
tnins 10 n New Enrlnnd home.
There are books and music. pictures
and embroidery. all bespcaking the
taste not only. but the talent, Of The
gentle hostess, The oldest daughter.
Miss Mary. endowed with the taste
and talent. both artistic and literary.
OF both the parents, does the honors
of the house, and takes her place be.
side her father in society during the
absence of the mother and Younger
sister I'm Europe. Mr. Edmunds lives
IN his own modest house OIL the
heights near the Thomas statute.
Mrs. GEN JOHN LOGAN.
Mrs. Gen, Lopau il admirable fit
ted TO grace any home or any posi-
lion. Iier executive ability amounts
TO real genius. Her beneyolence
found ample scope during the war.
when she adjourned with her soldier.
husband at tile front. where, like
Mrs, Grant. size enioyed rarc oppor-
tlnjties for ,deyelol,nent Witty, VIZ
vacious. and patriotic. sharing lhe
AMBITION Of ,hs General She Il never
hannicr Than when supnortinp his
well earned fame vet eyei. hns she NJ,
oni .re,,hino heart of sympathy for
tl,e sorrowing. Mrs. Logan las a
well.deyeloped embonpoInt. her
str;t;ns,I,, or;ma,el = couutepance
onn,sas,;nr wifi, her abundant s,owy
hair her ost,ect bannilv exnressi,,a
I'D ,;vs..;,v nSvonth crn,bined with
,i.o a;,,n;,w Of ,n,1,,lo l;ie co that iite
,he Csnar., sbe saa,ns m bloom and
,os, ra,hor ,han ,o sada aud decline
\, raars
M,s svx.rop n r,yv,pn oT
Mr. Senator nayarJ 10 a ,rocorul
noIisI.d n,trac,ivo dark eyed lady
70 S"sv NTH hor many cI;l,,red ~
',nro," .nch tine ~ soc;otv I, Ia
"odsrs,ood that Mrs, Ravard ;nheri.
,ed great wealth The two elder
aoug5ters arc In society craceful and
scccmniishod vounU laaies VT
MRS ALIEN a. TuuRMAS. A,i
Mra Thurman IA a mai,Iretl wo-
man 10 whom the abrains of The
Democratic side Of the Senate as
Thurman is STYLED. seems 10 be still
the tender lover. both being quite
stopned and logged down lile's hill
together, g,...fr.
MRS, JUSTICE FIELD.
Mrs. Justice Field is finc.looking,
many years ihe iunior of her husband,
brilliant in conversation, though Of
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
New Haven Register /

lA'NN '"'Nh ~ S''NNN -
The beautiful idea of getting some-
thing for nothing is nowhere more
readily trac,able than in a newspaper
office.
SO much has been spoken, written
and sung about a free press" that
people have come to accept the term in
a sense altogether too literal.
Ii aman has a scheme Of any kin,l
terminating he Just sleps into the etli-
torial room and details it. with the re-
mark, "l'm rot quite ready to adver-
ti>e, yet but few words will help
me along" lie gets few words
an never. gets ready to advertise.
The tic cts admitting lady and
gent to tile &c. B. X. NJ. It's grand
ball." areexpected to produce a six
line local aud a quarter of column
description Of the ladies' toilets after
the ball is over. taa .W
Church fairs and the like are worse
than balls They nevcr leave tickets,
l-,.l l.oo .,;,..'
o"' uo'u''H @ '"o'o 1pas', 'FV ,'"l' 10 y
a 80 ), y "'" '' p y
Oarst SI,,1. lo,, s,,. og ii. s,aor D
~ on'"'" ~ "A p, . Duy Gs" .soJ "a ~" ' mnS ,as,ni
with great skill, would be a graceful
way Of stating it, and besides, 1t is
nnnrofassinnaI IN a1vprtisn
""Plo,eoS,oms, l,h s,on, ~ n hr;,os IN
o.aa, I t;s aan'h;na,;on o. v;rn anil
ouc ,I, IL n,S L." vo"Ia pa;, ,,;,ls T. ~ !, und"r
lo"Iy ,l .nP,eo' ,.o'. p'n ,,1 "rnla;ns h",a
w. .a,. a,,ol ,',', [ o,,.,s,, tha snr;n
y snoS .''', 80. nf ;n,or,st o
49, ,,''' ~'',,,,rn;,n S % a"d !, Won ~ mt IN
u" ';oco oV "nSa me- , doTsn nsnsrs which
- III. "a ~. .ha,.,l,
ne quietiy Waihs o'l WIN, 40 .nou5"
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15
----~-----------------------------
Wifes Of Presidential Candidates


""'soi -t'''9sAsAs' S"S'
Washington cor Of the Cleveland Herald,
In nrcnnrl,y hr;ef sLe,ches or IN.
villas ", prcsilcntia, can,bJstes q il
mi casv to define tho lini,s of ,ho n.
lumiraied,.. d,..irclrs No Iess ,hon ton
or lwelve of the distinouished ladies
hero n, Tho Can,,al zach Tho center
oc "ronnc of attached friends
While tho n,erit aud oraces of each
are s,,,e IN bs nassed u,on ss N ,bc
Iiybt of nossiblo develonmen,s rho
con,ncn,s nrs Tho most kindly. and /
Inv, yet 40 hear a., oxnression of
nosi,iye choice In Indicating which
above NH olhers sbould be erowno3
nueen. ',a'', '''',''- :.
ups 70 u NopnYsos
;, ...,e. ar,n. H., yvn,,...p NJ.
AZ. uo wy ~ I,,;., mv no". .,,a n.am :" ,,; w.
na';',oa,, o, ~ IT, ,s'..,,o,,, omo mmu
,orS orc'uou uro,an, ~ ~ 'o D'i.'rr ho.io pay ;s =
Hv ro
1 ~" w." NJ, 50
an,His'eu .oun.'nsn'c. inis '"'y 20
'eu Nv" ,"a. .ue' p pseiou' qua
y m",sm ''s..a. o."o.oI s,J ~ o.'es'o u lss
W.. P'''Y, .oN'r n' " ~
u'S 'u"sno a"u M o'o'as s wn.'e
e' =. ,.0, sno uau. na;,.A,. u; sSni,. MILF mo"u hoss
~ W.. nsp'e snan.s .anue
wy" ',s noSranm . "..s sSu's' @ ma ~ =.
q"eo", cACcPt nu hneiicaii q"ceh' 10
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15

"Tis the last golden dollar left
SHINING but 1t goes freely for a bot
tic of that wiequalcA chill romedy,
Day 5 Ague Tonic.
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15

The press being "free" all hands
seem bound to get aboard and ride it
10 death. That is why newspapers
are 50 rich that they can afford to payi
double prices ior white paper, and.
never ask Congress to aid them by re-, I,
moving the duty on wood pulp. Il &
The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-06-15

Mrs. Senator Window is one of
those sprightly women whose brilli-
ahcy attracts. Tall and graceful,
with an animated face that lights up
in conversation, an easy, affable, and
engaging mmmer-,he unstudied ex-
presson Of q warm heari--it is no,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1880-07-09
HERALD.
SALT LAKE
HERALD.

The remarkable success of the paper
IN the past, as manifested by its large
and steadily growing subscription
list. its increasing advertising patron
age and the expressions of goodwill
towards the Journal which greet us
from all quarters, convinces the pub
fishers that they ere doing what they
set out TO do-nsmely, furnish 3
newspaper that the people would like,
and therefore support. The HERALD,
as in the past, will be the peoples
paper. Independent in O political
sense, il will always be found
on the side OF the pe)pia. outspnKeu
on questions affecting the rights OF the
masses; battling for local self-govern.
ment and the largest liberty to indi-
viduals consistent with public good;
lAboring for q pure, honest and eco
nomic administration OF e ysTumNnt;
treating public matters di-ps,-ion-
ately and employing language c4lcu-
lated to eDlighten the reason of men
rather than influenza their passions.
and working for peace and the de-
velopment of the resources of the ter
ritory, instead of trying to create strife
and retard progress. With our in
creased facilities for gathering news,
both by telegraph and mail, the en-
ployment Of larger number Of cor
respondents in different sections of
the country, and the better arrange
ment of all the many details of the
establishment, we confidently promise
to make the SALT LAKE DAILY
HERALD better paper than ever.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1880-07-09
Agitated Gamblers.

On Thursday afternoon gamblers
and sporting men were considerably
agitated. 1t appears that an un-
usual question arose, on Wednesday
night. during game of poker. in
which one Of three persons playing
threw down his hand of cards on the
pack, the other having passed out,
when it was discovered that the re-.
naming person had six cards. This
person Immediately claimed to be
winner, which the others disputed.
Bets were made, and On Thureday
the question was brought up and dis.
cussed by the whole fraternity and
others, and betting was free and full.
Finally the question was referred to
Hovle, and upon reference it was
discovered that the person holding
the Elk cards was the actual winner,
it being the rule that as soon IS 8
man throws down his hand he is out
OF the game altogether, and can have
nothing whatever to do with it. One
gambler won about $1,000 on the
question, and many others won large
amounts.