The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-01-28
HAMLET WITH A NAVY PISTOL.
a Little Joke ON . st. Louis Drummer

Little Joke on . st. Louis Drummer.
George Ninaman, st. Louis drum
mer, stopped one night last week at a
small crossroads hotel in Grant County,
southern Arkansas. The house contained
, four rooms and kitchen. After supper
Ninaman was told that he must spend
part of the night alone, as the family
would attend a PToJracted meeting in
the neighborhoOd. The host, with his
gife and daughter, left the house, and
Ninaman sat in one of the rooms alone.
His lonesomeness was added to by an
owl in the yard, which hooted dismally,
and an old red clock on the shelf which
ticked solemnly. The drummer not
having been assigned to a room, could
not go to bed, and he tried to keep
awake by reading the "Life of St. Paul, !"
tha only book he could find. The hog
grease lamp was suffering in Unison
with the ticking of the clock, when the
door of an inner room opened and tall,
wild-eyed, bushy-haiIed man entered,
" Nithout speaking he seated himself and
stared at Ninaman, who naturally
showed surprise. Presently conver-
sation was begun, and the man exhibited
such intelligence that Ninaman'B fear
was allayed especially aB the man
claimed to be the landlords brother,
The conversation turning on literary
subjects, the man remarked;
FFDid YOU ever hear Hamlet's solil0quy
recited properlyf "ft
"I think so;" said Ninaman, " have
heard Booth" s=r
Booth does not catch the spirit" F."
said the strange looking man. He
fails to engraft the twig of dispair ON
the tree of Hamlet's nature. Would
you like to hear it recited properly?"
eyes"
"You shall hear it. Ihope nothing
tragic will occur, but by Moses, you
shall have it anyhow" a.
Arising, the Wild-eyed man darted
into an adjoining room, and returned
with navy pistol. Placing the pistol
on the table he began to reCite in
voice so deep and with an air so wild
that Ninaman was startled. When he
came to take up arms against the sea
of troubles, and by opposing them, end
them" he seized the pistol, cooked it,
and placed the muzzle against his head.
'E Shall end them with you p
Ninaman suggested that his troubles
were not greater than he could bear,
and asked the man to lay aside his
pistol.
"Ah, 1 see you do not like tragedy.
You no doubt like comedy. Pull off
your coat and dance, or Pll end your
iife." 5a
The pistol was leveled, and Ninaman
pulled off his coat and began to dance.
"Woop it up" yelled the man, or
I'll end them. Pull off your trousers"
The trousers came off and the dancing
continued. s
"Pull off your drawers" ...
The drawers came of.
"Off with your shirt"
The shirt flew into the air; noise
was heard outside, and the landlord, hid
wife and daughter were on the pOrch.es
/" Let me go, for Gods sake" plead
Ninaman.
"No, sir; Pll kill you if you attempt
to leave. You are comedian"
The door-knob turned. Ninaman
spFang toward door and rushed up
stairs as the pistol snapped.
In few minutes the landlord came
up and handed Ninaman his clothes.
'FI forgot TO tell you," said he, g that
my brother is deranged. He has an old
pistol, but couldn't hurt anything with
it. He Is harmless, but likes his little
Jokes"
The next morning the wild man was
in such good humor that he offered to
beat Ninaman throwing rocks at an
oyster can.