Knoxville daily chronicle. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1870-1882, 1880-02-22
NEwsPAPER WAITS
he who Mrs. to take a kiss,
Has Mr.. thing he should not Mise.
Seen ... .f - a cta GnI,, A h;a n

| he who Mrs. to take a kiss,
Has Mr.. thing he should not Miss.
| t-- r --Acta Colu. biana.
| The trouble with the midnight cat 10 not
so much that 1t can not sing as that it firm
| ly believes it can. By,
I Edison says the newspapers make light
of his latest invention more successfully
than he can do it himself. . 1
| A barber is always open to conviction
Tell him his razor 10 dull, and he will
hone up Boston Transcript.
| Mount Vesuvius is troubled with erup-
| tions, and they don't know what to do with
the rater.-New Orleans Picayune.
A subscriber to the Herald's Irish relief
| fund exclaims: MAY mouse never leave
your cupboard with tear in his eye.
Among men and women 1t is the reig-
ious ones that keep Lent most faithfully,
but the c4se is different with books.
Mrs. Youngwoman wants to know "bow
abe can tell fresh egg from a stale one ?"
Taste 1t, goosey, taste it.-Burlington
Hawkeye.
"Will you name the bones of tn 9 hesdy'
said a teacher to one of his class. I've
got 'em all in my head, teacher" replied
the pupil, "but can't give en-"
The seal probably puts up with more in
suits and abuse than any other animal.
He is known the world over as a furbear-
ing animal.-St Adams Advertiser. sE
Tennyson frequently spends hours over a
single line of his poetry before he can get
it right, and the sweet singer of Michigan
says if she couldn't write poetry faster
than that, she would be ashamed of her
self Boston Post.
"Well, Ethel, DEAR said an uncle to
his little fve-yesr old niece ''if you like
your new toy come and put your arms
around my neck and give me a kiss" The
little maiden complied; but as she did SO,
she remarked: "Oh. uncle, how | do
| spoil you" ~A t~ -a@E uN
The baggage master of the Central Pa
cifc railroad says that he recently saw a
| Chinese cigar man utscturer pasting labels
on his boxes on which was printed, THE
| Chinese Must Co." Asking the Chinaman
what he did that for, the reply was, sand
lot man be read that, buy the box, smoke
my cigar"
Pat: well, Dan, aud hay . yo heard the
news-hsye ye heard that Rory tho millet's
dead2' Dan; Rory the miller is it that
| dead nowf Jabers, but ye don't say so, and
he was young man too" Pat: Faith
an that's threw for We, Dan; he was such a
young man, now, that | expected to see him
at my own funeral instead of me going to
his.
Chemists have found that tho smoke of a
cigar contains acetc, formic, nutyric,
valerie and propionic acids, prussic acid,
creosote and carbonic acid, ammonia, sul-
phuretted hydrogen, pyridine, verodine,
picoline, lutidine, coliodine, parvoline,
coredino and rubidine. And the boy who
has just tried it for the first time will tell
you that he believes it does.-Boston Post
A clergyman asked his Sunday school:
with what remarkable weapon did Sam
son at one time slay number of Philis-
tines?n For while there was no answer;
and the Clergyman, to assist the children a
little. commenced tapping his jaw with the
tip of his finger, at the ssme time saying,
Whats this2 what's this?" Quick as
thought little fellow innocently replied,
| ''The jsw-bone Of an ass, sir
There Is a story told of blunt old sea
captain, who was noted for his extreme
personal painness. Being present at a
party, he had taken 70 part in the dance,
MS his hostess bad some difficulty in pro-
vidlng him with partner. At last she
led up to him prim and aged spinster, at
the same time whispering a few words OF
apology in his ear. "0b, you needn't
make any apology, madam" said he with
alacrity. !" Any old thing is good enough
| for me"