The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-08-05
Old Jerry Turns Preacher.

Old Jerry Turns Preacher.
Services were first held in Calico
Church last Sunday night. 1t had been
announced that a new preacher would
address the cor ;regation, and that new
method of presenting gospel facts would
be adopted. The colored people were very
anxious to hear the new preacher. A
new way of presenting the gospel excited
curiosity. Sunday night the house was
we'll filled. The preacher was rather
late. Finally he came. All eyes were
turned toward him. He was Jerry, the
ex- politician. Ascending the pulpit the
old man wiped the persPiration from his
brow, and said: "Let us pray" The
congregation bowed over, and the old
man raised his hands and exclaimed:
"Lord, de agent of all light an de-
stroyer OBJ all darkness, hab mussy on de
sinners OBJ de Lam. Take de lie outen de
moufs OBJ de politicians, an enable your
sarvant to discharge his 'sponsible duties.
Amen"
The preacher wiped his face again, and,
after regarding his congregation for few
seconds, said:
"We'll omit de +singin'. Oar hab been
too much singin' an too little action in
dis world. De cricket sings an de bee
labers. De cricket dies when Winter
comes, but de bee hab laid up de sweet
meats of 'pentence. Afore enters inter
de tex, it may not be outen place to tell
you my 'sperience I kin do it in few
words. l foun' dat I was on de wrong
road, an dat man of my 'auence could
do much good. Iquit politics, took out
q license, an am now preacher. Now
fur de tex: He dat Ibis by de sword
shall perish by de sword De nalogous
OBJ dis is, he what Ibis by de ballot box
must perish by de ballot box. De saliva
ton of a mans soul is wuth morn all de
votes he kin git, but de gardin OBJ 'ligion
hab growed up in weeds. Ny mission is
ter pull up de weeds. 'sposes ter make
reform. Garfield was a preacher an
den turned politician. was apolitician
an den turned preacher. I leaves de
paths of de wicked an goes ter de rign-
teous, but be leaves de rig ighteous an goes
ter de wicked. De Bible says fur ter
preach de gospel ter every libin creature.
What de use oh preachin' ter de creecher
eff de creecher won't heah? None. De
Bible means dat yer shall make 'em ter
harken. I sees good many ole tufts in
dis house, an I wants 'em ter come up
ter de mourner's bench right now. Da's
got ter come. De Lord doan say wish
you would do anything, but says yoI's
got ter do it. Firmness is religion. De
rock of ages is made outen flint. Mr..
Johnson" said the preacher, addressing
sinner, "come up an put yer head on
dis bench. I'se played kyards wild yer,
but you'se got ter reform. Come on, l
tells yer; is yer comin'?"
"No 1 isn't" said Mr.. johnson.
"Den I'll fetch yer. You'se been
standin' off de preachers long 'nough."
The preacher left the pulpit, advanced
to where Mr.. johnson was standing, and
caught him by the collar.
"Turn me loose! l doan wanter hab
no truck wild yer, man."
"Come up heah ter dis bench or I'll
drag you dar. De gospel is reused. De
time OBJ salvation is at ham,"
"Turn me loose, I tell yer. I'se bad
man and toats matches in my hat"
"Yas, an yer'll toat sulphur in de hem
OBJ yer garments. Come on heah or I'll
| Jerk de stufin' outen you."
The two men began struggling, and
the widest confusion prevailed. "Sing
de ole tug.boat of zion," said the preach
er, and the congregation obeyed. Finally
Mr.. johnson was dragged to the bench.
He was warned not to lift up his head
and as a deacon was stationed over him
with a club, he did not look up. eco
out and pei 'em ter come in" said the
preacher. "De feast OBJ de Lord must be
tended, boy" exclaimed the preacher
"put yer head on de board of 'pentence'
Go on, or yer'll be lame fer week. Git
down dar, ole man! Young CONAN, put
yer head down dar! When de Moony
and Senkum business fails yer's got to
use le improved plan. Doan let dat
man out" exclaimed the preacher, as a
large individual made break for the
door. "Hole him. Now, yer raskil,
would yer run from de lam? When de
LAM won't fetch 'em yer mus use de
ram. Da switched de lam's tail at Jeri.
), co, an de walls stood still, but when da
pushed wind through de rams horn da
tumbled. oh, yer doesn't wanter come,
does yer? Deacon, hit this man." The
deacon sprang forward and was on the
eve of Draining the sinner, when he an.
nounced his willingness to go. Some
fifteen or twenty were thus taken up, and
frightened by so determined an example
the other sinners meekly obeyed. With
in an hour from the time preaching be.
gan seventy-Gve mourners were at the
bench. Old Jerry stood in the midst,
exhorting. "Dar's bright star shinin'
in de East-put yer head down." he said,
as boy looked up, as though hunting
for the star. "De Gospel car is rollin'.
Sinners is comm ter pentence." A re-
fractory mourner jumped up and attemp.
ted to run, but was promptly knocked
down by one of the deacons. The meet;
ing lasted until nearly daylight, and the
preacher left, highly satisfied with the
result. 1t is said that other preachers
are going to adopt his method, and that
a sweeping religious campaign will soon
be instituted.-Litts Rock Gazette.
Tho Mnst Vennmnus oP Snakas.