The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-07-06
CHIPS.

Spal king across u garden fence admits of q
good deal being said on both sides.
"Do you see that spring over there ?" said
a settler in Arkansas to a stranger. well,
that's an iron sprung, that is; and it's so
mighty powerful that the farmers horses
about here that drink the water of it never
have TO be shod. The shoes just grow on
their feet naturally"
Professor Geiger sat in all easy chair on the
deck looking very pale. The compassionate
captain asked how he felt. "Miserable,
miserable; I'm sick, captain, I'm sick. l
have paid tribute to Neptune till | have lost
everything" But said the captain, 81 see
you still have your boots left. eyes, said
the professor. family. but they were on the
outside"
Every man, says an exchange has Two
Arabias in his heart. "Dont know about
that" remarks a young person from the prov
inceS, but I'm Sahara's young man.
The brilliant Sophie Arnold, when she
heard of a certain diplomatist that had been
eaten by the wolves, exclaimed. " Poorb rutes!
Hunger must indeed, be a terrible thing
1t is said that a minister in a country kirk
in Scotland stopped in the course of his ser
mon to ask a member who was deaf: "Are
We hearing, john" "O,aye." was the re-
spouse 81 am hearing. but to vera little
purpose"
After all, perhaps it is we'll that the electric
light has proved a failure. Its general intro
duction would prevent the flies from going to
roost at shutdown, and thus bald-headed men
would enjoy no rest.-PhildddphiG Chronicle
Herald.
Darwin is right said an awkward youth.
"Taere are moments which come to the
young man who doesn't knOw what to do
with his hands, when he longs to climb a tree
and be a monkey, and throw nuts at tile old
bipeds i'll the front seats. Man has never
really tasted the benefits of true freedom
since he was L monkey"
A man passing along a road saw a country
man standing beneath a persimmon tree, hold
ing in his hands a pole raised aloiL with a
little pig attached to the end, which was
feasting upon the persimmons in the tree.
He asked "What are you doing there: '
'Sister Sal is goin' ter get married, an I'm
~fattenin' this pig for the weddin'."-Worches-
ter Gazette.
Il deal" remarks the merchant; Il cut
adds the carpenter; - turnip Spades" says
The gardner; 81 pass" observes the railroad
superintendent; AZ lead hearts" adds the
beau 81 follow suit chirps the tailor with
his little bill 81 trumpet chimes the cor
net player: " You cur" shouts the butcher,
rs the dog ran Cf with a twO-pound steak.
Thus many classes seem to be madeg anne of.
-B0StoR Courier.
o Williams, merchant, of RuiIedge, Ga.
sued a desperate. The defendant entered
the store in Il furious passion, held out the
luminous in one hand, clutchlng a long knife
in the other, aud said, Williams, have you
sued me?" Williams knew that an immedi.
ate " Yes" would make him sure of ii stab
Let me get my spectacles so that | can read
rho nanap - hn Snil To -, h,I;,l a.,
counter aud came back. not with his glasses
bHt with an axe across his shoulder. YES
he said, II have sued you" - All right ; re
piled the desperate. II guess III pay The
bill"
No. SON, no: YOU needn't be afraid of it
Just drink Il tubfull of il il you wish. Ne
man ever got drunk or learned to be a drunk
ard drinking Sunday-school-picnic lemonade
You might get the dropsy or you nigh
drown yourself with it, but it will never
make you drunk.
Diogenes, being asked what beasts Were
apt to bite the worst, answered, "Of all wild
beasts-the slanderer; and of all tame beast
the flatterer."
The biggest snake story of the season i
pronounced by the Wheeling Leader to b
that of the man who once saw a boa constric
tor swallow a New Jersv mosquito.
"A Cohiltiy newspaper Out west tilS lleau
its report of a fire Feast of the Fire Fien
The Forked-TOngue Demon Licks with it
Lurid Breath a Lumber Pile Are the Scene
of Boston to be Repeated ?-Loss $50.
School teacher, to little boy whose father
a grocer-"Now, Johnny, if your father Ia
a barrel of whisky containing forty gallon
and o%ne-fourth of it leaks out, how man
gallons does he lose ?" Johnny" He don
lose none. He fills it up again right off,
Galveston Ne,cs.
A bright little f~ive-year old miss was take
TO the barn to see some sheep, and after lool
ing at them tor a moment she exclaimed: sc
auntie, see the sheep all wear their ha
BANGED
A young lad rang the door-bell
OF a newly-marrieu pair
Don't you want a boy >" he said,
Slyly pulling at his hair.
Want a boy ~ she repeated.
"Oh. you impudent scapegrace!
And she gave the door a slam
In five Won't = nst,,iShal fnpp