Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-05-13

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the man who will insist on sing.
ing when he doesn't know how
They say the difference be-
ween a grasshopper and a
grass widow is = there is nc
difference. They'll both jump
at the first chance.
A race between funeral pro-
cessions, to see which shall reach
the cemetery gate first and pass
in, is called an amusing specta-
Gle in Iowa.
A man will remember a sore
finger much longer than a kind
look, but that doesn't prove a
sore finger is any better than a
kind look.
Sankey has written a new hymn
entitled 'Is Your Lamp Burn
ing?" We burn gas. so the CO.
nundrum doesn't interest us. 1t
is''addressed to the wicked peo-
pie.
The class in Grammar will
please answer this question:
"How do you parse the word dol
lar?" 'Please if it is a trade
dollar you parse it for 80 cents"
The people of a Vermont town
are mad, and they are mad be-
cause the first circus of the sea-
son gave them just what it adj
vertised, a perfectly moral show.
St. Paul commanded that all
brethren should be greeted with
a holy kiss. In delivering a
charge to new pastor the word
''brethren" should be spoken ih
italics. A
The New York Legislature
has a chaplain who is paid to
pray that that body may be
guided Alright. But he doesn't
seemto have much influence with
oyerruling power.
'EYou promised to pay that
bill yesterday" said an angry
creditor to a debtor. EYES,"
calmly replied the other, ''but to
err is human, to forget divine,
and | forgot it." 99a4
There was a man whose name was Burt,
Lived in this vale of tears,
And drove mule and ne'er got hurt
For more than twenty years.
But nature will itself assert,
OF that behold the proof,
The other day that mule kicked Burt
Clear through the stable roof.
There are mean men in this
world, and in that class may be
|reckoned the resident of coun-
try town who, hearing that two
of his friends have gone fishing,
HES him to the market and buys
every trout to be had.
He was watching his neigh
boris boy. climb a tree, and had
a look of painful anxiety on his
countenance. "Are you afraid
the lad will fall and break his
neck?" was asked him. .No,'
he replied ''l'm deucedly afraid
he won't"
NCome here, you little mulew
yelled one of our citizens to his
son. The lad approached and
deliberately looking into the pa
ternal eye asked, "Papa, what is
mules father?" and then the old
man walked abstractedly into
the house to think up an answer
to the conundruW.
The passwod in Congress is
you're liari" Let the mem
bers continue that sort of thing
il little longer, and soon the time
will arrive when the worst thing
one rough can term another will
be the opprobrious epithet, ''Y on
are a Congressman" That, if
nothing else, will provoke fight. |
A boy can imagine almost
anything; he can lug an old shot
gun about all day without firing
at a living thing and be under
the impression that he's having a
bowling good time. But all at
tempts to induce a boy to imag-
inc that he's killing Indians, when
he is saving wood, have proved
futile.
The other day a boy on South /
Hill yelled so loud that he loos-
ened all his hair at the roots, and |
when the frightened neighbors
rushed In to see what the murder
was about, they found he was
only calling to another boy, |
standing just on the other side
fthe marble ring about six inch
es wide.
A gentleman from the back
woods came into our Office one
day last week and went for our
exchanges. The first paper he
got hold of was the St. James
Louisianan (French); he glanced
at it a moment then threw it |
from him, and exclaimed as he
did SO: "Well, this spelling re-
form does beat h-l!'
A Down East editor comes
ha.l- from Dixio with tho ofafo