The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-03-11
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Poo ltli
PASSING SMILES.
A sTUcK-uP thing--a show-biil.

|
SPRING -HALT--May 3l-midnisht.
SPARE-RIBs-the sealed wives of
Utah.
Old ocean INDUCES in storms merely
for wreck-creation. - .'
In the agricultural papers we have
many fertile lies sirs.
LET'S see it isn't quite time for the
first divorce in the Oneida Community.
ForR thousand bills are pending in
Congress. '."' ~, Of "
CHILDREN and brass bands, in their
extreme youth, don't amount to much
without tutor. h"i e." Ten I.T
= Now lame me,v as the pedestrian
remarked when he stumbled on bit of
ice. 81,
IN diamonds, solitaires are fashion
able, but when it comes to buckwheat
cakes let us have. clusters --,
By all means lei us have free salt.
Some lazy people might learn their
salt" if it was little cheaper. %
The toe of an enemy's boot will often
do more to raise man into prominence
than the hands of dozen good friends.
The mcnof to-day are too high
strung" says Chicago paper. Some Of
them are moi strung high enough.
The brook, you know, flows on for
ever. Sometimes seems as if a law
suit was trying to see the brook and 20
it ono better, -. -. ....
TIE lisping Christian thus defended
her pronunciation Dothn't our
minither direct our thepth in the mar
row path? Ithnt he, then, our patherf"
No matter how finely a dentists par.
lor is furnished, no one cares to take q
seat in his drawing.room. This is q good
joke, but 1t is tooth in to draw. .s.
We have had one Offer, but the lady
couldn't promise to support us in the
luxury to which we haze been accus-
toned. - Boston Post. ,fI a.... .,F. ~ ED
A COMMERCIAL report says: The
fall of leather causes an uneasy feeling
in hides" We have, often remarked
this in youth while. Laying across the
maternal knee.
A MINISTER who regards kissing as
an cssentialpart OF saving grace, should
kiss his lawfully appointed sife, and
tell her to pass it around among the
congregation. a' 'a' '-' nh "'
WHEN man becomes the father of a
sixteen year old daughter, he commences
he period OF his life when the toes OF his
boots wear out before tile heels become
italicized. no .ug5 -,. -ttr.u a.l
TIE beauty of SUNDAY collections on
the envelope plan is that You can knock
the plate out of the collectors hand as
easy with copper ccntasyo can with
silver half dollar.
Did you ever know snch me
Chanical genius as my son?" asked an
old lady. He has made fiddle out Of
his own head, and he has wood enough
for another"
INDIGNANT wife" II ! had known
you were coming home in this scondi-
ton, | should have gone home to my
fathers" luebriatGd husband" He,
would you? I'm awf sorry didn't Shend
you word--hic.' o.. r'
"DEAR Louise, don't let the men
come too near y0& when courting.Y
/" Oh, no, dear ma. When Charles is
here we always have one chair between
US" Mother thinks the answer is
rather ambiguous. .. ,.it...rt. .....u
AN Albany woman brings suit against
a telephone company for trespass in
putting its wires on the roof Of her
building, 1t isn't the trespass, however
that troubled her so much as the fact
that there is gossip going on over her
head that she cannot get hold OF.
BEFORE.
THE cheerful fire brightly burns,
The gas bill keeps aCCluiDg, RI
The maiden fair new lessons learn,
The ardent youth neer homGvaTd turDs,
And onward speeds the wooing.
AFTER. # .a- ANt "H.' ~
The hlckering fire feebly burns, lauau- 81
The time has passed for wooing;
. The faded wife new lessons learn, B'tIt .
The husband seldom homeward turns,
ff And onward speeds the ruling.
Bod. ..r --KdckasGck EspubheGH.