National Republican., 1880-12-14
FUN AND FACT.
S pronounced lin-dim.i.on.

It's pronounced En-dil-i.on
=, The French oyster IS ready TO be eaten when It Is
three years old.
A man cannot smoke a cigar too short unless ho
smokes IL too long
Wine VS.. milk The Porto is taking active mca-
SuroS against the Kurds.
Some one says kisses swceten q farewell. lie
fares well who gets them
Doormats aro being stolen in Boston. Those
with the word welcome" on are preferred
"What will you give mo if restore your eye
blind man.
Mover run up small debts. Creditors nrc like
childcn-ihe smaller they are the more they cry
WuH Street Gaelic.
10 remove stipcrluous hair send your we'll.
filled mattress to be done over by a cheap upho
DECENTRALIZATION Commercial bulletin,
Florida Is filling up with Northern settlers fnster
than any other southern State and will very likely
bo q safe Republican state in 1884.
A boy In the geography class Of one of our gram.
mmr schools was asked by tho teacher, where Is
"Hcll-Gate.' The cub answered, damlno.-Clris-
Hdn at Work.
A clergyman meeting an inebreted ncighbor,
exclaimed, Drunk again, willtinsr' to which
"Sho am /, parson"-Tonpcrmcc Journal
Cough suid at Hartford that when suddenly
called into London pulpit to offer prayer he told
as II he was the 18th chapter Of Romans.
,d, Ine editor Of Ohio paper says he doesn't know
cn whether I, to call her Miss or Mrs Bernh9rdt lie
ably she wouldn't come no matter what he called
her.
well, III ever saw the llkel" remarked Mr..
Mhiskcyskin as he mopped the perspirntion from
his brow. II don't see where all this water comes
from Tint oozes through my pores. haven't tasted
the stun for ten years"
1t takes five gallons of whisky to cure an Gle.
Dhanrs cold, and since this fact came out, seven
New York men have been sent to insane asylums,
ana nothing can convince them that they are not
elephants suffering with colds.-Boston Iost.
Little Gcorge"-Yes, You should ALWAYS shovel
inc snow from the sidewalk when your papa asks
you TO- had boys grufnblo when asked to split
kindltns wood or shovel snow, but after the old
man has hung up the trunk strap they feel as II
the cool, fresh air OF the morning would do them
good. Thisis pointer.
General Nelson A. Miles, who has Just received
his brigndiergeneralship Is handsome, soidierly
man. with curly brown hair and ruddy bronzed
laced. His frst American ancestor, the Rev John
Miles, was Puritan minister, who fought Indians
company In tho war with King Philip
A spark may be produced under certain con.
lo 6a,ons y BY s,rosins the fur Of cst-ET; And we
girl stroking the locks of a young men--iinder
certain conditions also. The spark" produced
by the latter method consumes more coa1 aud de.
cat
The question Of elevating the head of tho Agri-
cultural Department to the dignity OF Cabinet
Minister will undoubtedly be pressed 10 dcrsiDn
in tho next Congress The recent declaration Of
the National Grange In favor of this change seems
70 have given new impetus 10 the movement, and
u Is probable that the subordinate granges and
1armers clubs throughout the country viii urge
the matter upon the attention OF Congressman.
An English bachelor saw n handsomely dressed
young lady on Boston street, and was told that
she was the daughter ofa wealthy merchant lie
became acquainted, nnd the girl, knowing the
woman who watched the interests of an elegant
house. whose owners were at the scashore was per.
mitted by her to receive him there. She also gave
him dinners there, hiring walters. She told him
that her parents were in Europe. lie proposed,
was q shop-girl. 49,