Connecticut western news., 1880-01-28
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HI tulb oOuuuy lhch Ot ooAta8S ID k,VN1 erty. :" s" .,. ... o,., d -, .l,sI , yia.
 When an extravagant friend uishea to borrow your money, consider which of the two you would rather lose. 'scu,, , A bad stovepipe is like a bad man. Too much crook Of tho elbow and too , much smoke. ir1' 'o "' 2 l"!u5o1 .i q
 -One never realizes just how much . pair of skates can benefit tailor till one puts them on for the first time.
 "A commercial advertisement for "s man to travel" was answered by tramp. He said he was used to the business.
 The differsnce-"between- husband and wife-no, no, there never should be any difference. between them, ei. Ia
 1t is not easy for @ man to regulate his income by his expenses and he must try aud gauge his expenses by his in- come. s'" -rt
 A man thinks of Heaven as he thinks of home--a place where he be- lieves he can go to when all other, places are closed to him., ,,.a a..... ..r ,.,,
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 -"Never lot a, cold run." says a oough-medicine advertisement. This is bad advice. Always let cold run. Let it run so fast that you can't catchit. 70 .,, Il think of thee, sweet William, .-,a
 And long to hear from youi
 Send me a missive, wont you, please,
 ',.I Oh, cbme now, billetdo't9- a [
 A Western punster remarks that it is not until the front fence be- comes riokety that some families begin to prop a gate.
 Debating societies are asking: "Can the goat reasonP' He can, but he doesn't want to. His time is worth too much. t.... .u .s:a- | 7 .W a..G vls.esY
 "A witness in Western court was asked if party to the suit was truth. full man. "No, "he answered "he'd rather lie at sixty days than tell the truth for cash. ss.1 a s. .t''sQ,
 A South American plant has been found tbat cures bsshfulness. Itshould be promptly, tried on the man who leavesthe hotel by the back window be- cause he is too difident to say goodbye to the cashier and clerk ,..+..; Tho Rochester Herald says: Men who have started on the Benjamin o., Bogert way of stealing had best stop for a moment and try to realize how MT, Bogert's family are feeling just now,
 When a man is suddenly called away from a feast his feelings may be l compared to two months old baby who has had piece of molasses taHy taken from it. ao a,4as.. ,.,, s..l.-
 An old lady in Wichita says she never could imagine where alithe Smiths came from until she saw in ,a New Eng land town a large sign, "Snith Manu' featuring Company" s t st.et | ?. --The. New Orleans Picdyu''e says that "more than one rough customer has never known how good he was until he killed somebody and heard the law yer in charge sum up his virtues.
 -Traveler-" Here, waiter, take this steak away and give it to the poor. It's too tough" Waiter (blandly) -"We've never 'ad no complaints, sir" Traveller -"No because that wretchsd old COW had 'em all" .t,l -f.,s s.r..
 A farmer writes :" saw in a paper that Western farmer planted flax with potatoes, and it kept the bugs of. I planted flax with potatoes and the flax came up first and the bugs roasted on it, waiting for the potatoesto come up."
 A Whitehall young mau, so the Times tells us, says he does not like winter, for when he was riding out with his girl, and asked her to ride in his sleigh during the rest of her life, she gave him all the beautiful's no, he cares to have. s ea.eF ,v3~
 The paragrapher of the Boston Post says he has had one offer of marriage already, but declined because the lady couldn't promise to support him in the luxury to which he has been accustomed. She was 6 temperance ad- vocate. s......, .. s. ,a.2 e5I A college professor once tried to convince Horace Greeley of the value of classic languages. The professor said {: These languages are the oonduits ot the literary treasures of antiquity" MT. Greeley replied, "I like Oroton water very we'll, but it doesn't follow that l should eat yard or two of.lead pipe"
 Says Robert Burdette "Strange that our youth and goodness should 10 . generally pass away together. Aud yet , sometimes hope am as good as I am old. Even if was, wouldn't have to , be too good. I wouldn't have to be so
 dreadfully good for a man, but it would
 be awfully good for Q horse." ..5. p -You can't fool a Quincy girl. When . her "fell ow rises from his seat in the @ theatre between the acts and says "l'i ] be back in a moment, she daz1les him U with one of her most reliable smiles n and pulling him back with the remarE d "I brought some with me- .coyly slip r into his hand pinch of cloves or roasted e coffee. ..... '.7-.,
 -"Ohl I'm just delighted witl
 George" said soft-hearted maiden t
 an older and moro matter-of-fact brother o "He's just too sweet for anything. Th' ;, last time he was here he was so full O , fun didn't you think so. brother 2 0. ~ "H He may have been full of fun, sister As but he acted more to me as if he wa " full of beer" A tableRu and . shar 'S ' slam of the parlor door closes the scene n. "A Chicogo man took out his ne