Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-05-28
f. U N

Rock. The woman had a careworn ex-
preston hanging over her face like tat
tered veil, and many of the rapid questions |
asked by the boy were answered by uncon- |
scious signs.
ssMa," said the boy. shat mans like a |
baby, amt he ?'' pointing to bald-head- |
ed man sitting just in front of them.
s'Hush."
ssWhy must I hush ?''
After a few moments silence: ma,
what's the matter with that man. g head?"
FLUSH, tell you. He's bald."
ssWhat's bald ?"
His head hasn't got any hair on it,"
ibid it come off P"
81 guess sou
twill mine come OFF,"
s'Sometime, may be.'
''Then I'll be bald, wont I ?''
'sYes.''
"Will you care ~
sDon't ask SO many questions
After another silence the boy exclaimed
s'Ma, look at that fly on that mans head"
''If you don't hush I'll whip you when
we get homes
"Lookl there's another fly. Look at
,em fight; look at 'em!"
MADAM, said the man, putting aside
newspaper and looking around. whats
the matter with that young hyena ?"
The woman blushed, stammered out
something and attempted to smooth back
back the boys hair.
''One fly, two fy,-three fies," said the
Innocent, following with his eyes basket
of oranges carried by the newsboy.
''Here, you young hedge hog" said the
baldheaded man, ''if you don't hush I'll
have the conductor put you off the train.
The poor woman not knowing what else
to do, boxed the boys ears and then gave
him an orange to keep him from crying
INA, have I got red marks on my
head ?"
''I'll slap yeu again if you don't hush"
Mister" said the boy, after short 81
lence, ''does it hurt to be bald headed ?''
"Youngster." said the man, ''if you'll
keep quiet I'n give you a quarter
The boy promised, and the money was
paid over.
The man took up his paper and resumed
his reading.
s'This is my bald headed money! said
the boy. ''When Iget baldheaded Pm 60
in to give boys money. Mister, have all
bald headed men got money p''
The annoyed man threw down his paper
arose and exclaimed MADAM, hereafter,
when you travel leave that young gorilla
at home. Hitherto I always thought that
the old prophet was very cruel for calling
the she bears to kill children for making
sport Of his bald head, but now am fol- ced
to believe that he did Christion act. If
your boy had been in the crowd he would
have died first. If can't find another
seat on this train, I'll ride on the cow
catcher rather than remain here"
aThe bald headed man is gone," said the
boy, and the woman leaned back and blew
a tired sigh from her lips.
young man who had just returned from
long journey, clasping his adored one in a
loving embrace in dimly-lighted parlor,
was seized with great terror, that for an
instant paralyzed all his energies. ''Oh,
my darling" said he wildly, "why didn't
you write me of this? What is it-spinal
disease? OR have you dislocated some Of
your ribs, that you are obliged to wear this
great leather bandage3' sob, love-" she
gently murmured. ''this is only my new
belt; would have got broader one but
it would not 60 under my arms.''
Several ladies were sitting together on
balcony Of the Clifton hotel, Niagara, the
other night, when the moon, although full,
was somewhat hidden by the clouds. A
natty little fellow came towards the group
and said, softly, "Pussie, darling p where
upon all the young ladies jumped up and
came toward him eagerly. He selected
one and walked away with her. The 9th
er brides sat down, and told their respec-
tive Romeos afterwards that it was 'too
ridiculous for anything" and they ''never
were so embarrassed in the whole course
of their lives"
sWife, said broker few days since,
sdo you think shall ever be worth half
million dollars?"
ssAin't worth that to You?" said the
confding spouse.
ssY-e-s,'' said the other half, 'sbut I can't
put you out on interest,""
An Oil City man calls his wife the red,
white and blue, because she has red hair,
white teeth and blue eyes. It may also be
incidentally mentioned that when he sees
her head sticking out of the window at
midnight, he knows at once that the flag
means signal of danger.
A woman in New York accidentally went
to church with two bonnets on her head
one stuck inside the other-and the other
women In the congregation almost died of
envy. They thought it was a new kind of
bonnet, and too sweet for anything.
A Brooklyn man stole up behind lady
in dark room and kissed her, and when
he found it was his wife, and she found it
was her husband, they were both as mad
as wet hens.
An antiquarian has discovered that the
reason why the ancients took the owl for
an emblem of wisdom was because he
saved his talk and illed'his stomach.