Morning journal and courier., 1880-01-22

He lifted her about ten feet And stood her on her head. The goat walked off, as if to say: 1 guefs that young mans dead" The fusionists of Maine can stand almost any kind of storm except Hale-Chicago Inter Ocean.
 poet says: "Oh, she was fair, but sor- row left his traces there" What became of the balance of the harness he don't state. War cry of the Baltimore News: s'To arms! to arms! and be vaceinated' In the words of the immortal bard, ''Arma virusque cano. "-New York Commercial Advertiser.
 'You promised to pay that bill yesterday" said an angry creditor to debtor. "Yes," calmly replied the other, 'but to err is hu- man, to forget divine, and I forgot it."-On City Derrick.
 "Yes, mamma, took three Jumps of sugar out of the cupboard, says the little girl, con tritely. "That was very naughty, indeed but as you have confessed it, shall forgive you" s'Then give me the other lump-I only took two."
 Mrs. Scott-Siddons has offended the faculty of Asbury University, in Indiana, by wearing low-necked dress at 8 reading before the students. Good gracious! Did the hoosiers expect the poor woman to read without any dress on 2-Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 A Really Lively Neighborhood- d-Landlord (to prospective tenant)-"Lonely Yer wife feel kinder lonesome here so far from neigh bors? Why, man, this is right on the road to the cemetery! There's funerals passin' here every day of yer life. .''-Harvard Lampoon.
 A gentleman observing a servant girl, who was left-handed, place the knives and forks on the dinner table in the same awkward po- sition, remarked to her that she was laying them left handed. 'fOh! indade!" said she, ''so have! Be pleased, sir, to help me turn the table around !"
 Art received rather an awkward criticism from free-and-easy young man who recently met sculptor in social circle, and addressed him thus: "Er-er-so you are the man-er that makes-er-mud heads?" And this was the artists reply s'Er-er, not all of 'em I didn't make yours"
 The woman who can sit still and smilingly entertain a male visitor, perceiving all the time that he has succeededin wriggling all the pins out of her new tidy, and is at that pre- -cious moment calmly sitting on it, and will be probably for the next hour, is sure of reward in the next world if she does not receive it in this.-Andrews' Bazar
 "Oh I'm just delighted with George said a soft-hearted maiden to an older and more matter-of-fact brother. He's just too sweet for anything. The last time he was here he was so full of fun didn't you think so, broth err" "He may be full of fun, sister, but he acted more to me as if he was full of beer. A tableau and sharp slam of the parlor door closes the scene.
 "What is that ?" said old Podgers, poking little brass affair in the curiosity shop. ''That is a oenser," said the polite attendant. "Only reasonable thing I've seen here," said Podg ers ''Pll take five of 'em." And he thrust nickel into the face of the mortified clerk, and then got swearing mad when that polite off cial attempted to explain that he had given the name and not the price of the article.- Boston Commercial Bulletin.
 The Paris Figaro of the 9th of January prints the following:
 American echo scene in New York. A gentleman enters a gunsmiths shop and asks to see pistol.
 (" Here is 8 pretty family one.'
 G "A family one? how is that :?
 Certainly. It has six chambers, you see. Two of the balls are for your wife, two for the destroyer of your domestic happiness and two for yourself It is the latest style, sir, and all the rage. I have sold hundreds of them for wedding presents.