St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-04-09
SQuibs.

| ',"n wiz lOlhcHloeF sore nnger
much longer than kind look, but that
does MT prove sore finger is any better
than kind look.
John Elliot, one ofNorthfields Oldest
residents, being ninety-six years of age.
died last Friday. He had never mar
RED. He did not reach pa, it will be
noticed.-[Transcript.
Tilden is not the man who "fills the
bIlI' of the democratic party, but he
toOts it, and that is about the same
thing Philadelphia Bulletin.
Professor-Which is the more delicate
of the senses =? Sophomore-The touch.
Prof.-Prove it. Soph.-When You sit
on tack. You can't hear it you can't
see it; you can't taste it You can't
smell it; but it's there Brooklyn Ea-
gle.
1t is claimed that man never loses
anything by politeness, but this has
proved to be mistake. As an old
Philadelphian lifted his hat to a young
lady the wind carried away his wig.
-lPhiladelphia Chronicle Herald.
American tradesmen who claim gen
lus for advertising should listen to n
Berlin grocer, who thus informs the
pubic through the Borsen Zeitung;
Iwlns are come to me for the thiId
time. This time boy and girl. en-
treat my friends and patrons to support
me stoutly. Excellent butter, well
worth its price. Similarly, sausage aud
cheese"
A smart little boy in Syracuse took
MS sister to meat market to see a
ground hog, and when-they arrived, he
showed her tub of sausage meat.
"Your late husband, madam began
her lawyer-"Yes, know he was AL
ways out late o'nights, but now that
he's dead don't let us upbraid him.
said bis charitable widow.
"Where was Bishop Latimer burned
to death 2" asked teacher, in a com
manding voice. "Joshua knows,n said
little girl at the bottom of the class.
"Well," said the teacher, ''if Joshua
knows, he may tell" sin the fire. re-
piled Joshua, looking very grave and
wise.
A young lady who read that at is
lucky to pick up horseshoe han
pened in blacksmith shop the other
day and picked up one. The SURPRISING
suddenness and piercing shrek with
which she dropped it showed thar il
was not lucky. The blacksmith had
Just made the shoe, and it was as hot
IT'S blast furnace.
"There is nothing like settling
down." said IL retired merchant. conf,
dentially, to his neighbor. "Wben
gave up business | settled down. and
found l had quite a comfortable fortune.
If l had settled up wouldn't have had
a cent"
A Georgia farmer uses a novel fertili-
zer. lie kills snakes, lays them in the
burrows, and then plants corn with
Chem. These snakes are made to pro-
duce corn, which produces whisky,
which in turn produces snakes again.
An irrepressible American tourist
VINO recently visited an Italian convent,
ana was shown by monk a consecra
tea lamp which had never gone out dur
Ing live centuries, bent over and gave
the lamp decisive puff, and remarked
w, W,Cn cool complacency, "Well, | guess
Professor: (which is the most deli
caIe Oh the senses 7" Senior: "Tbe
sense OF touch" Professor: "Giye an
example" Senior: "My chum can feel
ms mustache, but no one else can see
it.n o "a" see
The ballots for the ladies who vote at
the next election will probably be cut
on the bias, or scOllOped. 1t will not
oe at all strange if we hear them ex-
clam: Her ballot is old fashioned it
doesn't look fit to be SEEM"
A lad who was at play with the son
OF IL next door neighbor, asked his com
pahl0n i,M lis not your father a foolP 2"
mo! Who said that of my father ?n was
the reply. Nobody, as 1 knows on.n
responded the knowing urchin; "bnt
hother told me t'Other day that | was
next door to fool, and | didn't know
whether she meant your father or Nat
Smiths. N"'
Judge Martin decided the other dov
1hat t1Ihat certain evidence was inadmissibIe
Inc attorney took strong exceptions tn
the ruling, and insisted that it was adj.
Il know, your honor.n said
me- warmly, that it is proper evidence
mere have been practising at the bar
ior forty years, and now want to know
II II am fool ?" "That," quietly replied
Tue court, sis question of fact. and not
OF law, and so l won't pass upon il. bnt
will let the jury decide,n '