West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1880-03-13

lady. 'It you want me to give the bou-
duet to the princess il must be a very nice
one"
''Oh, 1t shall be!' protested the Mayor.
And you must let me play chief part
in all the festivities-receive your guests
for you, and all that - otherwise there
would be no fun in the thing, you know.
AS you're bachelor, you must have lady
TO act for you"
81 should feel much obliged IL you would
act for me, Mrs. Burberry" said the mayor,
feeling as il aweight had been taken off
his shoulders.
''Well, we will see about il. don't say
yes or no, for the present." replied the
Colonels wife, nodding pleasantly, and she
rushed of, leaving Mistborough's Mayor
rather overwhelmed by sense of her con
descensIon.
AS a matter of fact Mrs. Burberry had
her own reasons for acting as adroitly as
she had done. Independently of her ambi-
zion to be the prettiest person in Mistbo-
rough, she much desired to obtain post
under government for her husband. and
thought this object might be attained IL she
could lean for whole day on the arm of
royal prince and enlist his interest in her
behalf by her sweet and plausible chatter.
a
rough and the whole country around than
Mrs. Burberry, who, according to her ad-
mirers, could have charmed bird out of a
tree, or who, as her detractors avouched.
was equal to fooling pig out of potato.
SO while Mr.. Wheeker was blessing him
self at having been extricated from di-
lemma, Mrs. Burberry went home in tri-
umph; but there she met her husband, who
was not pleased TO regard her achievement
with favor. Colonel Burberry was one of
those men who can never be brought to see
all at once what is good for them. He al
ways allowed himself be led i'm IN end but,
before submitting TO the guidance he jibbed.
SHE'D aud brayed like the most obstinate of
four-footed animals. In the % esent in
stance he declared, with a sIlin'Iling Of
oaths which he was much given To employ
Ing In domestic conversation, that he would
not, by George, allow his wife 10 make a
blanked guy Of herself in the company Of
cheesemongering aldermen, blanked il he
would. Mrs. Burberry, who was elated by
the results OF her diplomacy, answered i'm
patiently by requesting her lord and master
not To make a fool of himself But this
was false move, for il sent off the Colonel
In towering passion TO blow up Mr.
Mayor Wheeker, whose blank nose, he
said, he would tweak in the public streets
81 say, sir, cried he, accosting this in
offensive dignitary, whom he met taking
an afternoon walk in the sunshine. ~
say I'm not going TO let il be said that
| you're spoony on my wife"
81 Coloneli ~ replied the mayor, aston
ished and uneasy.
"9es, sir, you're a bachelor, and gay
dog by all accounts; don't deny it, for
your goings on with the sex are matters of
psblic notoriety. But won't have you
dangling after Mrs. Burberry, mind that"
Really, Colonel, / don't understand
Mrs. Burberry was good enough to say that
she would not mind presenting the bouquet
to her Royal Highness, and thought
"You thought she was setting her cap at
you is that what you was going to say 2
Well, admire your cheek, do, bluster-
ed the Colonel, retreating a step or two, as
If to take better survey of the mayor,
who certainly looked no Adonis. "Wel.
MIR. SauceboX, remember that my name s
Burberry, and ! stand no BANKED non
sense from anybody. just get your pas
ytry-cook girl, to give your bouquet; she'll
do very well for such work, but my wife
won't. Good day to you"
Poor Mr.. Wheekcr gasped in woHdcr as
the truculent swashbuckler swung on his
heel. lie doubted whether the Colonel
was sober. AS for the valiant Burberry,
he strobe home but, as often happened to
him, his valor began to oozc away as he
neared the conjugal dwelling. lie felt
that he had put his foot into it, Swagger
as he would, he was no match for his wife
in tongue warfare; and, presently, when
be had TO confess what he had done, Madam
tnfH s.f IL.
make man wish that he could strike a
hole through the floor with his heel and
vanish through il. In the upshot the
colonel might have been seen on the NOR
row looking very sheepish AZ he wended
his way toward the town hall, to seek out
the mayor and offer him kind apology.
lie was quite alive now, poor wretch, TO
the service which his wife wished to render
him IN presenting flowers to the princess OF
the blood.
But, TO Colonel Bulberry's modification,
Mr. Wheeker had already informed the
town council Of his previous days adven-
ture; and IL was unanimously decided that
the mayor had received an affront which
must preclude the Bulberries from taking
any part in the municipal festivities, even
as guests at the banquet. The mayor, sit
ting In his official room at the town hall,
conveyed this 20 the colonel az delicately as
possible, and added a propitiatory assurance
Of his own that he did not feel offended
but upon this the colonel, rs usual, made
haste 70 lose his temper.
"By George, sir, cried he, Fam being
trified with? You first ask my wife % dc
you Kindness, and BOW you tell me that
you are going TO put us both in disgrace
Who cares for your disgusting dinner.
should like 90 know 2"
'I-I did not mean TO say anything Of
fensive, Colonel, said the meek mayor
but ! understood you TO cay yesterday
that"
"Eouare always ysmisunderstandii gthngs
sir; ! am blanked If ever saw such mar
for making mischief. ] suppose youIl tel
me now that my wife is not pretty enough
to act as flower Girl 2"
ooh, what an idea ] am sure eyerybod,
who has seen Mrs. Burberry will admit
None Of your blanked compliments.
rOaied the colonel. you've n great dea
too mucI soft patter about you to pleas
me. My last word to you Is that II mJ
wife does you the honor 20 accept the pro
pOsal you made, and II you venture 10 pu
a slight upon her, you and your fellow
soup swillers in the town council shall CIV,
me the reason why, OF I'm blanked II
| don't cut of all your ears and thread then