The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1880-01-14
A Strange Insurance Policy.

JUST you cTOWuh b UOy OuI VI llls stht
in tue car, snub him at the stamp
window in the postoffice, or ignore his
presence in the crowd around fallen
street car horse, and he'll get even with
you if he has to sell his skates and hand
sled to do it. > %. ..".
A Detroit life insurance agent lived
to be forty-five years old before he real
lied this fact. 1t 80 happened that in
going up on the car he many times en-
countered a tow-headed boy about
twelve years old. One day he lifted this
boy of his seat to make room for him
self, and then added insult to injury by
calling him "Bub" and offering his
knee as seat. The boy went out on
the platform and vowed that he'd hit
that agent hard if the sign ever came
right, and he shed few tears of indig-
nation to clinch the vow. ,,. ...
Time sped along. The boys father
had been thinking some" of life in
surance, and the agent heard of it and
went for him. He called at his Office,
his house, and nabbed him on corners
and in the cars, and the citizen finally
said he would take policy home, study
its clauses, and return final answer.
The tow-headed boy sat figuring out his
school examples one evening. when the
father said:
John, I want to hear how well you
can read. l haven't got my glasses
here, and you may read this insurance
policy to me. Read slowly, and don't
skip the hard words"
"You got it of tllat man who stood
al the gate yesterday, didn't you?"
asked the boy. and when satisfied on
that point he felt the balmy feeling that
creeps into mans heart when he's got
the dead wood on the fellow who stole
his hens. The old gent got his feet to
the fire, leaned back in his chair, and
the boy began:
Witnesseth, that the Bang-bang In
surance Company" etc. When he
got down to the proper place he cleared
his voice anew and read:
eff the said person whose life is here
by insured shall pass beyond the set
tied limits of the United States or Can
ada, or shall attend Il pole-raising, or
caucus, or dog.fight, Or"
"What!" exclaimed the father. "does
that policy forbid me to 60 down to
the caucus and help lay out the bum
mers? Forbid me to be present at pole
raisingm .
"Or n dog-fght," put in the boy:
"A dog-fight-yes! That's n direct
insult, that is! That's as much as to
say I'm in the habit of patronizing such
things, and I feel the insult!'
"Or ifit is found that the insured de.
liberately lied" continued the boy,
cor"
Deliberately lied, ch! That's an
other insult. They think I'll tell 4 bold
lie, do they!"
"And it is expressly stipulated that
no bald headed man who insures in this
company shall use bar-soap to wash his
scalp" "read the boy. g
"Does that policy read that way!
Why, it's succession OF Internal per.
sonal insults! Bar-soap on my scalp!
Why, I'd kill the person who undertook
to soap-suds my badness! That insur-
ance company must be set of luna
tics! What other insults have they got
there?"
"And the insured shall be required to
60 before a notary public or justice OF
the peace and make oath that neither OF
his parents has ever been regular in
mate of lunatic asylum for over three
months in any one year."
"By gumm exclaimed the old man as
he put his foot down-that's rather too
much! Isuppose that a life insurance
company has perfect right to protect
itself, but when it intimates that my
father was fool and my mother luna
tic it is more than l can stand. John,
fold that policy and put it in my over
coat pocket"
The other morning the tow-headed
boz was on the eight o'clock car. So
was his father. The life insurance
agent got on at Il crossing, jammed the
boys hat over his eyes as lie pushed in,
and seeing his "patient' at the front end
Of the car he crowded forward and
said:
Good morning! Glad to see yon
looking so well. Did the conditions OF
the policy please youp"
"Mr. Blank" replied the citizen, as
he handed out the document, "here's
your policy Keep it! I don't want it!
I won't have it! won't talk about it,"
But" began the astonished and
frozen agent.
The other rose up, rang the bell and
got off the car, followed by his son
John, whose sad eyes seemed to be gaz-
ing at something tar away, and whose
mouth was puckered into a most solemn
and te.looking big O.-DetroI Free
Press.