davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

THE Bangor Commercial, in moment of
emotional frankness, likens fusion to "a
gaunt fiend.' The comparison is apt. Fu-
sion is, like the Karen devil, a great stomach,
winged and clawed, black and loathsome,
that infests the earth-and that, urged by
the office hunger, lusts for pap. 1t has
found a fitting representative and a suitable
OrOan
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

PLAIsTED's successes have always been
achieved, like those of the fox in the fable,
by coming in when>the lion and the bear
were exhausted by the conflict. But this
time he is not third-though third-t term
candidate. The action of the double con-
vention has deprived him of his .'best holt"
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

ONE of the Chicago specials says that the
Oldest war horses, with memories that reach
back beyond the Free Soil days, agree that
there was never a parallel to the present
convention at Chicago in any point of COM
parison, and that no one can predict its re-
suit. 1t is proverbial that horses have long
heads.
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

On the eighth of January last letter was
read at the celebration by the Democrats in
this city of the battle of New Orleans from
Gen. Charles w. Roberts of Bangor in
which the following words are found: ''If
any of your members are in any way con-
nected with the Greenback camp, leave it at
once. Stampede! Run awayr' They have
stampeded; but their panic-stricken fight
has led them to the Greenback camp, not
from it,
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05
THEi PRESS.
SATURDAY MORNING, JUNE S.

We do not read anonymous letters and communi-
cations The name and address Of the writer are in
all cases Indispensable, not necessarily for pubea-
ton but as guaranty Of good faith.
We cannot undertake to return or preserve com
mumcatIons tnat are not used
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

EVERY regular attache of the PRESS is furnished
with Card certificate signed by Stanley Pullen
Editor. All railway, steamboat and hotel managers
will confer favor upon by demanding credentials
Of every person claiming to represent our journal
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

THE rule of the dreaded council of three
was an apprehension, not fact; an ambi-
tion, not an accomplishment.
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

IT was real mean in the Democratic Con-
vention not to pass resolution praising the
Tabulators, considering the dirty work the
Tabulators did for the Democratic party.
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

THE Grant men seem determined ste
fight it out on this line if takes all summer"
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

THE spectacle of Logan on his knees is
entertaining as well as edifying.
The Portland daily press., 1880-06-05

ever shown in Portland. Having
bought before the great advance
in prices, we shall give our GUS
toners the benefit of the same.
Please call and see our new styles
and look through our immense
stock before purchasipg. We are
in a position to make our prices
satisfactory to all.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23

A number of ladies visited New York
public school, and one of them thought
that she would question the tots, and see
how much they knew about the senses.
What were the eyes for?
For seeing.
Yes-and what would be the result if
we had no eyes? And she asked the
little ones to shut their eyes tight. Ay,
yes. They understood.
And then the ears. What were they
for?
Hearing.
Yes and now stop your ears up as
tightly as you can. All what n sad
thing it would be to have no ears. We
should never hear the birds sing any
more, and never more hear mamma s
voice.
And then came the nose. What was
that for?
Somehow the little ones seemed puz-
zled at this point. About the eyes and
ears there had been no question-but
the nose? They looked up into the
lady's face curiously, evidently with an
answer ready, but not quite sure of be-
ing right. Finally the questioner saw
an intelligent smile upon one chubby
little face-one of the four year -olds-
and she said to the child:
"Ah, Miss Dot, you can tell me what
the nose is for, can't you? Come, now
speak up. Don't be afraid. What is it p
A few twists and Fuckers, and then,
with wondrous sparkle of the great
brown eyes:
"Eb, Il dess its for mamma to tate
hold of to ouU!"
] That close the examination for the day.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
Saving transportation.

''Talk about your mean men," said
old Pioneer Skinderson, at Phil Nc
Governs saloon. "The very tightest,
closest, far-seeing, calculating old skin
flint ever seed was old Klamscatter, the
Mine Superintendent who died up at
Gold Hill the other day."
"Was, eh?' encouragingly remarked
customer, who was feeding PhiPs bull
dog with petrifed sandwiches from the
lunch-table.
eyes, Stree; he was just pizen, he
was; closer than the bark to a tree,
When he was running the Hornet Mine
up at Virginia he used to skulk around
the levels, disguised as mule-tender,
just to pipe off the men who didn't keep
hard at it, SO as to dock 'em the next
Saturday."
"Why, the dern cussr'
'But wait He actually encouraged q
drill-runner to tell a long story one day
while they were waiting for some ma
chinery to be repaired, and afterward
docked the man half a day, and all the
fellows that heard it, four bits apiece for
stopping to laugh. He charged one man
ten cents for a single grin"
"Great Goshl'
''That's nuthin'; Jim Briggs, who was
up on the Lode when the old miser died,
said that about an hour before Klam-
scatter handed in his checks he sent
for the doctor, and says he:
"Doc, give us the straight business.
Is there any show for me?'
"Nary show says the doctor; you'll
i strike bed rock afore night
".'Then, says old Klamscatter, i
want some of you fellows to carry me up
to the top of Mount Davidson right off.
If can light out from there, it will save
my soul clear mile of transportation. 81
"And did they do it?" asked O man
who had walked up over by the stove.
''Well, no." replied the narrator, sim.
ply. 'The boys took him over, put him
on the cage, and let him down to the
lowest level of the Hornet, instead They
said that they guessed he had made
little mistake about the direction, some
how. To the best of their Judgment, hi.
soul was going the other way
Francisco Post
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
A Gloomy Bridal.

We have heard of some dark scenes,
but rarely encountered anything SO ut
terly deficient in sunshine and whitewash
as the following. It reads like yard of
Grape:
Gloom was upon her countenance and
upon his. The man whose holy office it
was to unite them in bonds never to be
torn asunder, stood like an executioner
before the bride and bridegroom, and
they-the pair waiting to be blessed
bent down their heads like criminals be-
fore him.
In vain might the eye watch around
the assembly in search of sunshine upon
a single countenance; all was dreary,
black-and assistants, rs well as attend
ants, at the ceremony, were alike
shrouded in one dark, overshadowlng
mass of rayless gloom.
All, joyful should ever be the linking
of young hearts together, and terrible
must be the feelings of those around
whom the shadows of fate are gathering
even at the threshold, which should blaze
in all the gorgeous co!oring OF hope and
promise.
Yet the same somber shade, the same
gloom of hue, the same depth OF dark
ness, was seated upon every feature. No
sudden blushing of the rose, no swift
succeeding of the lily, no fitful changes
telling of youthful passions and warm,
bright hope, were seen in the BRIDE 8
cheek, but one unvarying shade OF fu-
neral gloom possessed the bride, pos
sessed the groom, possessed the preacher
in fact, they were all possessed.
Reader. they were Timbuctoo darkles!
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
Under the Rose (Sub.rosa).

The true origin of the term "under the
rose" is undoubtedly to be sought from
the very early oriental connection of that
flower with the rites of the worship of
Venus. In all the early mythologies, the
rose was employed in crowning the
Queen of Love, or her worshipers, and
in many instances it is symbol of the
divinity herself. The secrecy with which
these religious mysteries were yelled,
would sufficiently indicate the reason
why the symbols connected with it were
also typical of silence. There is abund-
ant evidence that the use of the rose as
symbol of silence is of far greater anti
quity than the days of Romans or Morse
men. There has arisen much petty con-
troversy about the common expression
''under the rose," and two different orr
gins have been assigned. Some persons
assert that it ought to be spelt "under
the rows" for that in former days almost
all towns were built with the second
story projecting over the lower one-a
sort of piazza, or row, as they termed it,
and which may still be seen at Chester
and some other old English towns; and
that, whilst the elders of the family were
sitting at their windows, gravely enjoy
ing the air, their sons and daughters
were making love where they could not
see them, ''under the rows" The other
is much more elegant. Cupid it is said,
gave rose to Harpocrates, the god of
silence; and from this legend originated
the practice that prevailed amongst
Northern nations of suspending rose
from the ceiling over the upper end of
the table, where it was intended that the
conversation was to be kept secret; and
and that it was, according to others,
which gave rise to the phrase, "under
the rose."
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
Quiet Force.

Men who are "born leaders" do not
make any unnecessary noise in the world.
They have no occasion to exact obedience
from subordinates, for no one ever thinks
of disobeying them; while those who do
not possess the faculty only display
their weakness in their efforts to appear
important and impressive. The story is
told of man who had large number
of pigs in a pen near his house, and
made it his practice to go out every ev-
ening and "stir them up" with club, to
the great annoyance of the pigs and the
disturbance of the neighbors. When
asked his reason for this absurd and USE
less conduct, he answered that he wanted
them to know he was boss. There are
too many men in every community whose
idea of executive ability is exactly on a
par with this. They bluster and splurge
and ''stir things up" generally, convinced
that such foolish parade of authority
will convince those unfortunate enough
to be under them, "that they are boss, "
whereas the fact is that it serves to con-
vince oil that they are fools. And the
time comes at length when those who
are over them find it out, and they are
dropped. The quiet way is the best,
| after all.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
Examination In Medicine.

By Philadelphia Diploma Cheap
Doctor:
Examiner-Where is the stomach OF
man located?
Student Somewhere between the
crown of the head and the soles of the
feet.
"'Tis we'll. What is the principal
use of the stomach?"
"To run up board bills"
"When is it proper to prolong cases of
sickness?"
"When the patient is able to pay
we'll"
"Do you bleed?"
eyes. %
"What organ?"
"The patients pocket"
"Right. What is your favorite style
Of practice?"
"Visiting each patient three times a
day, at five dollars per visit.
"What are indispensable adjuncts to
good practice?"
"Spectacles, horse and buggy, q
stylish residence, dignity, and a fashion
able WIFE"
"What are the best means of fostering
the growth of small practice?"
"By hanging n large door-bell in
your house, which can be heard over the
entire neighborhood, and employing n
man to ring it occasionally at night.
"What are orthodox aids in securing
practice?'
Irregular attendance at church, and
the employment of another man to rush
up the aisle during services, and call
you out every other Sunday"
"Cui B0no?"
"That's Latin"
"True; but what's the calling and
ringing for?'
"To develop the idea abroad of large
practice.
"What are necessary qualities in a
physician?"
"To look wise, talk little, remain non-
committal rs to the nature of the disease,
and impress on the friends of the patient
his critical condition
"What class of patients should be
encouraged in developing imaginary
: complaints?"
"Women with nothing to do, and
| plenty of money to do it with"
! "Correct. You're bound to have an
extensive and profitable practice within
two years. Here's your diploma.
Twenty-Five dollars, please. ."-Ne,U Yorh
Graphic.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
Bobby and the Plaster.

Bobby Blinkers was Nevada boy,
and didn't want to go to school. He did
not put in his appearance at breakfast,
and about 8 o'clock his mother went up
to see what was the matter. Bob was
writhing about the bed from an impro-
vised stomach-ache. "All right" said
the ol dlady. "Tll apply mustard plas-
ter" and in few minutes hot mustard
plaster containing two square feet of
motive power was spread upon the boys
abdomen. "Mother, how long must
this thing stay on2" II guess I'll be
able to take it off about A this afternoon,
and then if 1 can get an emetic to work,
it'll be all right Lie still, my boy, I'll
bring you through" Then Bob rose up
Immediately and started for school, and
the plaster was the cause of his being
an hour late.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
The Inventor of the Bell Rope On
Trains.

The late Captain Ayres, of Patterson,
N. j., was the inventor of the present
bell rope system on railroads. When he
commenced running on the New York
and Erie Railroad the locomotive had no
cab for the engineer-nothing but
framework. There was no way to go
over the cars nor for the engineer to
communicate with the conductor when
the train was in motion. In those days,
instead of the conductor running the
train, as at present, the engineer had en-
tire charge, and the conductor was n
mere collector of fares and tickets. In
1S42 Ayres inaugurnted n system of sig
nails by cord running over the cars to
the engine, where it was attached to
stick of wood. Ayres' engineer, n Dutch
man named Hamill, resented the innova-
ton, cut the stick loose, and the conduc
tor and engineer had fight at Turner's
over the matter, Ayers whipping his en-
gineer badly, and thereafter conductors,
and not engineers. had charge of trains.
Soon after the bell rope and gong went
into general use.--Patersoa (M. ~
Press
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
THE LOOM OF LIFE.

An day, all night, can hear the jar
OF the loom OF life, end near and far
II thrills with Its deep and mufied sound,
A tireless the wheels 60 always round
Busily, ceaselcssly goes the loom,
In the light Of day and the mdniRhts gloom;
And the wheels are turning early and late,
And the woof is wound In the warp OF fate.
Click, click there's thread Of love woven In !:
Click, click + another Of wrong and sin;
What checkered thing this life will be
When we zee IT unrolled in eternityi
When shall this wonderful web be done7
In q thousand years, perhaps, or one.
Or tomorrow Who knoweth7 Not you nor
But the wheels turn Oh and the shuttlcs ny.
All, sad-eyed weavers, the years are slow,
But each one In nearer tho end. know;
And soon the last thread shall be woven In
God grant II be love instead Of sin.
Are we spinners Of good in this life-web-say7
DO We furnish the weaver thread each day7
II were better, then, O, my friends, to spin
A beautiful thread than q thread Of sin.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23

Two men fired simultaneously at each
other in Salt Lake bar-room, and the
bullets came into collision. There could
be no doubt of this, for one bullet drop
ped to the floor midway between the an
tagonists, who were ten feet apart, and
the other was turned upwar6 20 the cell
ing. whils both were fiattened
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23

sr THOMAS p'AHcY x'sEx.

A man vhoss corn vas carried sway
Before his eyes, and who's oats and hay
Were piled up into the landlords cart,
Looked toward his castle with sorrovfu heart
II.
" You seem" ssld he, 20 strong and grand,
Like giant you overlook the land;
And giant In stomach you sure must be,
That OF all my crvp can leave none TO me-
ouoth another" OF such weak words what end
Have you any hope that the devil will msud
Or the wolf let KID escape his NAV,
Or landlord yield his rights at hwI
"Lst ne 10 over 10 Rackrent Hall
BY two and thrces-ft may befal1,
As wisdom Il found In ths multitude,
Laoush Of Us might do the cause some good"
".
Al hrxt they vent by twos and thrccs,
But Rsckrents lord they could not please;
And next they went IN number q score,
But the case was even the same ~ before.
By nftiss and hundreds they gathered then,
Resolute-patient, dogged men
And the landlord owned that he thought there was
eoms sight defect I'm the present laws.
Then bsrouy poke-a country woke-
a nation struck st fhsir feudai yoke
Twas found the Right could not be withstood,
And-wfsdom was found In the multitude
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23

A LITTLE wrong done to another is .
great wrong done to ourselves.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
A Difference In Value.

Rosseau, alluding to the kindness of
every father in the neighborhood offered
to console him with one of his daughters;
but few weeks afterward, his COW hav-
ing shared the same fate, no one ever
thought of replacing his loss by the offer
OF enthusiastically proving the different
value set upon their COWS and children.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23

A NAN cannot smoke cigar too short
unless he smokes it too long.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23

In refraining from being mean to
others you are good to yourself
Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-09-24
From our Regular Correspondent.

From our Regular Correspondent.
The news from Maine has created a con-
siderable panic among the office-holders in
Washington, and the panic was no doubt
extended to every Federal office-holder in
the country. The number Of Office hold
ers, of all grades, throughout the Union
may be stated in round numbers as one
hundred thousand, and, estimating that
each one has dependent upon him for sup
port five persons, a change in the national
administration will throw half million
of persons out of house and home, and re-
duce the larger number of them to state
of actual want. The time will come when
the American people will look back with
horror to their permitting or authorizing
the agony of suspense and anxiety, in
which tens of thousands Of persons in their
employ pass the six months previous to the
Presidential election. The mere barbarity
of the thing, even if it worked no injIry
to the State, ought to condemn it in the
eyes Of any christian, or even civilized
people. No government which allows an
efficient and upright servant to be tortured
before every election, in order to make the
politicians game more exciting, ought in
our day to call itself enlightened. But if
the injury to private interests will be
great the injury to public interests will be
incalcuable. What great house, mercan-
tile or manufacturing, could survive the
discharge of all its skilled and tried as
sistants, and their replacement by those
who are utterly without experience, and
who'have no natural oreducational Gualiiica-
| tion for the intrinsic work to be performed.
/ There is no reason why the immense civil
service of the United States should not be
conducted on plain business principles,
and that the tenure Of Office should be as
stable as in the army and navy. The coun.
| try would actually suffer less from a com
plete change of rank and file in the mill
! tary and naval services with every political
change in the administration, than it will
suffer from change in the civil service.
| Our military and naval services are insig-
nificant in comparison with our civil ser
vice, and the duties of the former require
no more in the way Of special adaptation,
study, and technical skill than the latter.
| 1t is easier, any time, to pick out from the
masses a good Indian fighter than one
| qualified mentally, morally and educaton-
ally for the responsible, clerical and semi
| judicial work that is required IN the land
office; in the patent office in the customs,
revenue, and pension bureaus; in the man
agement OF forty thousand post Offices
in short, throughout an immense service,
affecting, directly or indirectly, the bust
ness interests Of ffty millions of the most
progressive people in the world. The
Jaeksonian motto in politics-to the vietors
belong the spoils-would long since have
wrecked us had it not been for our Won
derful progress in wealth and prosperity,
and, since the immense increase OF our
civil service, every change Of the admins
tration must be attended with dangers
similar to those OF revolution.
Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-09-24
WHOLE NUMBER 1903.

II is the testimony Of the Cincinnati
Commercial, as well as that Of the New
York 4rtbuae-ofter having tried the ex-
periment-that it is impossible to be inde-
pendant in politics. The Commercial says:
1--WE find the persistent existence Of the
Democratic party organization, as the rally.
ing point OF the elements ofevil-the great
difficulty in the way Of Independence of
parties in journalism. The Democratic
party exists without principles that it is
possible to define, and, therefore. il has no
good reason for being. II it could be put
out OF the way and parties organized with
reference to questions Of general policy or
details Of administration, there would be
room for independent action" Yet the
NsUs man Experiences no difficulty in
printing such a paper: for one week he
makes tatfy for the Republicans and the
next two weeks he is Bourbon. H
Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-09-24

The Commissioner Of Internal Revenue,
writing August 4, reports the casualty list
Of the Department in collecting the reYe-
nue. in the South as follows:
During the past four years well-sus-
tanned effort has been made to suppress the
elicit manufacture and sale of whisky and
tobacco in a number Of districts in the
Southern States, where, for many years,
these practices had been rife. During that
period thirty-eight hundred and seventy
four illicit stills have been seized, and
seven thousand and seyenty-eight persons
arrested for illicit distilling, and, l regret
to add, that twenty-five officers and EN-
plOyes have been killed, and fifty-fve
wounded while enforcing the laws in this
respect"
This is the nonsense that is to stop when
Hancock is elected. That is to say, it is
assumed in the South that there will be
no attempt to collect the revenue.
Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-09-24

Eds. Tel:-As the following proposition
was sent to the Ne,os last week, and failed
to appear, il is sent to the TELEGRAPH,
trusting that it will find a place. NJ.
Ed. Nsws.-That good conscience Of
yours which stands so much IN the way Of
your making money by publishing the acts
Of .he Southern bulldozers is so rare a
commodity IN this region we think it would
make an interesting show. II, therefore,
you will send it along here we will place
it on exhibition, at our own expense, and
divide the profits with you. Pack il in
cotton and send it along as soon as con-
venient. IrHIEL.
North Kingsville, Sept. Is, 1880.
Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-09-24
Capt. ]. B. Burrows, Of Painesville, VIII,

Capt. ]. B. Burrows, Of Painesville, who
drew up the indictment against Garfield,
some six years ago, is doing yoeman's la
Dor upon the stump in the campaign.
His labors in the district are well calcu-
lated to undo the influence then brought
to bear against him. While at Chardon
the other day, he met the queries of an
anti-Garield Democrat in the most EN-
phatic way-"ThAt in his convictions,
there was nothing IN the character or rec
ord Of Gen. Garfield uniting him to be
the leader Of the glorious old Republican
party in this canvass. He had not only
outliyed the opposition in his own district,
but won the confidence in his integrity, of
the leading men of both parties.