Morning journal and courier., 1880-05-05

Mary Walker calls the place where she hangs her clothes, not @ closet but pantry.
 The Norristown Herald refers dippantiy to the conversion of An Wing as simple change of ah-pinion.
 Oblige people to pay as they go, and the majority of them would go slow.-New Or leans Picayune.
 When farmers son says he can't hoe around COTE hills on account of having bad cold, let his father give him hoe round candy. Whitehall Times.
 It is & time honored custom in Quincy, Fla, to salute newly married couple by fir ing cannon. This is to remind those present that the battle of life has fairly begun.
 After one female lion tanner has been cha#ed up by lion, it is perfectly safe for a second to tackle him. He has found out that cotton and sawdust, seasoned, with only 6 slight amount of flesh, don't taste good,-Boston Post.
 Getting out of difficulty: Customer s'Dear me, MT. Pnddifoot! {! Why, your four penny pork pies are but little larger than those at twopence." Puddifoot - That's quite true and often hear the sams remark. I see how it is-I shall have to make them twopenny pies smaller. Judy.
 When the Greeks were about to sail for Troy, Menelaus brought bundle of straw and put it carefully away in his cabin. What is that for ?" asked Agamemnon. ''To tell us the direction of the breeze" answered Meme laus You're crazy !" said Nestor. Why" remarked Menelsus, "don't straws show | which way the wind blows ?"-Puok. | s'Little MabeV-Yes, whenever lot of Macoupin county poems and prize essays ac- cumulate in this office and we ars hard up for l matter they are printed under the heading 'sPearls of Thoug ght." Our last pearls were given to the public shortly before the war and may possibly have had something to do with precipitating that dreadful era of carnage Chicago Tribune.
 | A few weeks ago Shakespeare's comedy 'iAs You Like It. was performed for the first time in the theatre at Wilma, Russia. The play gave great satisfaction, and tho delighted audience began uttering loud cries for the author. The manager, in great embarrass- ment-for he knew no more of Shakespeare i than the audience-at last came to tee front, prepared to trust to luck for his excuse. Fl nally, after much preliminary verbiege, he reeretfully announced that Mir. Shakespeare, the author of the piece in question, had been dead for nearly twenty five years. The crowd was sorry, but satisfied.
 stDar' am a member present" began Broth CT Gardner, as he rose up and crossed hls arms behind his back in stately way, 'dar am a member present who has lately bought hisssR 8 work on astron'my and started out to Parn de names of de different stars an plan cts an so on Fur de las two weeks he has dun muffin but sot in de house or on de fence and read bout Jewbiter, Mars, Saturn, ve- nus, Grampus, comets, an so on. met his fo' childn on de street yesterday, an dey looked like de las eand ob 8 rag bag Las nite his wife cum ober to my house an sald dsy had mt a firg in de house to eat. Now, I doan' ax dat member to stan up whar ye kin all see him, but Tzs gwine to talk to him all de same I want to see every cuiPd man in dis kentry able to read an write an cipher. I want to see him posted on current topics, and able to argy a little if oocashun de- mands When he has got dat fur he has gone fur huff. De culid populashun ct dis kentry hev got to work for 6 Twin an you kin set dat down for solemn faek Oar am no places fur us in politicks or banks, or stores or offices. We can't cheat an defraud an embezzle like de white folks We has got to work an work hard. Wher any white man comes soapin' aroun' with g different story he lies, an he knows he lies !, Cries of t'That's 30 p were heard from al parts of the hall. ssDis bein' de case," re sumed the president, ''de black man whc wastes his time on sich studies as astron my might better sit an whistle to crying baby. A poo man has no mo bizness wie sich fings dan hoss has wid plug hat. | he has any time or money to spar after per vidin' for de wants of his family, let him pu a few dollahs whar he kin lay hands on when sickness comes sailin' into de cabin
 Astron'myl Why good stout par O boot am worf mora to any culPd man in America dan all de Jswbiters an comets an venuse
 eber planted in dc big heabsns !"-Detroi Fre0 Press