Lyon County times. [volume] (Silver City, Nev.) 1874-1907, 1880-12-18
JOHN M. CAMPBELL.
HERE AND THERE.

as test OF 1OuT- DeaTanCe'
When the trains are telescoped
the poor passengers see stars.
The smaller the caliber Of the
mind. the greater the bore of the
mouth open perpetually.
II is said that the ordinary life of
bee is ninety days. The end Of
bee, however, is very lively.
Twenty-Five Cinnamon voted at the
recent election in New York, having
become legally naturalized citizens.
According to the latest definition,
a bachelor is a man who has lost the
opportunity of making woman mis-
cradle.
The hardest thing in the world to
catch is beautiful heiress; the
easiest thing in the world to catch is
cold.
She said she never had skates on
before; judging from appearances Of
the ice we would say she should
have had them on behind.
Read this, dear girl, and have pity
on your fellows "A young man died
of heart disease in St. Paul while
asking girl to marry him"
It's a pity you were not god, )"
said rebellious American bride to
her English husband; THAT You
might have a wife made to your own
ORDER
Tie average age Of a hog is only
fifteen years. This always consoles
US when we see man spreading
himself out over foug seats in rall-
way car.
"Is your father in ?" asked a land
lord in search of back rent, Of little
boy. "No, sir" "Suppose you 60
up stairs and ask him" He amt
woke up yet"
A North Caroliniap, who kissed a
woman against her consent, was SEN
fenced TO months imprisonment,
and all the women in the State want
the law repealed.
1t is reported that Edison has dis
covered a method for making lemon
ade without lemons or sugar. Pshaw
managers of picnics found out that
method years ago.
In Texas there is township
called Gin, aud IN it town called
Brandy, and the name of the post
office is Rummy. No State could
ask for anything better.
Emma Abbott tells a Western re
porter that she sometimes seals up
her mouth for days. Now why need
married woman tell story like
thutl There's nothing to be gained
by 1t.
The acme of laziness has been
reached by the man who always
kept one eye closed because he could
see we'll enough with the other, and
besides it was too much trouble to
keep them both open.
An Ohio court has decided that
married women do not own the
clothes they wear. This must be II
gratifying decision to women who
not only earn their own clothes but
also those worn by their husbands.
There are great many skillful en-
gineers on our railways, but we new
or knew one yet who could kick his
train around a curve with the grace
and success with which a first class
actress can perform the operation.
Gem'len," said the old man, re
member dat it am not safe to form an
opinyun on stranger by the size of
his mouf or de number of mis- hat.
No pusson kin tell de numoer o.
mules in barn by looking at the
stable doah.'
1t is a we'll established fact that
healthy man requires about pint of
air at breath that he breathes about
1000 times an hour, and that, rs a
matter beyond dispute, he requires
about fifty seven hogsheads of air in
twenty. -four hours.
A Laplander will make three good
meals of a tub Of oleomargarine, his
wife will take the hoops for a crino-
line, and the boys will use the slaves
for snow-shoes. SO you see, children,
how little oil will smooth the rug
agsd edges of life's pathway.