Litchfield enquirer. [volume] (Litchfield, Conn.) 1829-current, 1880-09-30

| Ayoob Khan-run.
potitieal Motto: In Il hoe sis r v,inces-s.
Lightning has beaten all the other operators
in striking oil this season. Il
If you have summer hotels to burn, prepare
to burn, them now.
| Cast your bread Upon the waters and after
many days you shall find it at Coney Is
land.
| Fruit is very high this year." said the
tramp wistfully, as he passed the ten-foot wall
of garden.
Professor Tyndall has theory regardin J
hay fever. He thinks it is brought on by
drinking liquor out ola jug kept in the
| barn. + Z & "a g
Theharvest moor Wills be here 1t is
so called because young men who utilize it fol-
the purpose of going out walking with the girls
are generally harvested.
An old lady in New Scotland, hearing
somebody say the mails were irregular, said !:
"It was so in my young days-no trusting any
of 'em.
h rIu what condition was the patriarch Job
at the end of his life ?" asked Brooklyn Sun.
day School teacher iof a quiet looking boy al
the foot of the class. Dead calmly replied
the quiet looking boy.
After choir Of one Of the churches in Ithaca
had performed rather heavy selection, the
minister opened the Bible and began read
ing in Acts Xxx, "And after the uproar
ceased" - frrr ].
/, In 1859, during q passage at tongues be-
tween Napoleon LIZ, and his Uncle Jerome,
the latter went so far AZ to observe that his
nephew had nothing about him of the great
Eyes, havep SAID Napoleon, with a sigh,
Il have his family2"
The Doctor G. is one of the most fervent
apostles of materialism. In recalling certain
souvenirs of his youth, he began an anecdote
in the most natural tone in the world, in these
words: SAT that time was in love with
an Augmentation of molecules, named Ernes-
tine" 8. snG.~I
| =, DIR. Hastings-of Boston, in speaking of re-
ligious joy and Of singing as being the natural
expression OF that Joy, remarked that some
congregations had 30 little of it that they had
| to hire people to do their singing. "Why,'
says he, would as soon thing OF hiring man
to eat my breakfast"
1 A teacher ina public scheoIhas been accus
toned to require her pupils to say: 1.-THE
equator is an imaginary line passing around
the earth. ETC. 1t never occurred to her that
the boys and girls of her schools hid no idea
what an imaginary line meant until one day !
visitor asked them how wide they thought the
equato:iss Some Thought III was five thou
sand miles wide, Others tive thousand, and
Others said they could jump over it. The
visitor then asked them how they thought
ships got over it. One pupil said he thought
fho 0ra xvS not nd hon, nd
another said he had read that canal had been
dug through it. ''What is the name of the
canal?" was asked. 1.-THE Suez Canal" was
the answer. - itdI Jill BIB
Young Bummelhans has just been discharge
| ed by his employer, old Twopercent The
| facts are as follows: Bummelhans has Just rel
| turned from trip over the state. His trip
had been very. satisfactory. to himself per-
hapss4 utnessa to plis ssnplo9er: HShadl
spent great deal Of money II buggy rides,
| and one thing and another, and had taken
very few orders When Bummelhans called
| in to see the Old man the latter was as mad as
the mischief. He said: Il don't pelieve you
makes any effort TO sell goots. Ven wash al
drumniersI always sold goots to de merchants
| no matter ven dey don't want any. I made
de acquaintance Won every pody "Bummel-
| hans came very near replying that it was the
reputation of his principal that prevented him
from selling thing, abptahe restrained him.
self. "Hew did youuse ID manage to sell
goods when you were a drummer 7" 81 will
show you all about that. Schoost you sits
down in chairs. You PEGS a coontry merchant.
plays now de drummer" CAN right" says
Bummelhans, ''Ill be a country merchant,
and II show youshoN they do" Bummel-
hans pretends to be writing at his desk, and
| and old Twopercept came up from one side
bowling and scraping ''Goos morning. Can't
I sell you some goots ?" '''Who in the mischief
are your says Bnmmelfans, looking up.
81 travels for de Galveston firm of Twoper
cent" ''You do, do youa So you travel for
that internal old thief, do you Take thatl"
and to impress upon his employer the diff
culties of drumming up trade, Bummelhahs
kicked the old man four or five times, pushed
him up in corner and choked him for a
while, and then told the old gentleman, who
was speechless with bona .jds rage, sIf you
ever come il, here again I'll not leave whole
bspe ip your ca1cass