Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1880-09-14
THE BUTTONED BAYoNET.
Bob BuRDErrE'S ACCOUNT or THE DEMO
CRATIC WEAPON.
Burlington Hawkeye,l

pressed chest. The phantom OF the l nlte1
States army no longer pursueS IT, II is
free party.
II has by the simple twist OF the conven-
tionsl wrist, put button on the glttering'
death-bearing bSyonet, and lo-a harmless,
playful foil. That is all il Is. How pleas
ant IL Is % see the Democratic party gath
ering around il to look at il, after the Gin
clunaIi convention liked il. And is that
all il is: Yes, dear citizens, this = all.
See, il Is not sharp. Press your finger on
the end Of H. Sees A round button; il
does not hurt. oh, no; and before the
campaign is over we viii see II we cannot
md a velvet button 20 put on, which will
be much softer. Kill anybody with bay
Onet: What nonsense do YOU talk. Gould
YOU Brighten man away from the polls
with a smooth button on the end Of cur
tain rod: Well, that Is all bayonct IS.
You never saw bayonet. did you: No:
Come up then and look at this one. This
is United States regulation bayonet Of
the Cincinnati pattern. Ask General But
Ter, the Hamburg aSSaSsin-or no, he won't
know: the knife i his weapon, although
he did help 70 fashion the bayOnet al Gin
cinnati. but ask General Wade Hampton.
He helped TO make this one also. Yes, the
General says, this is a real bSyonet. Hurt
ANYBODY with that? Pshaw, fearful Dem
ocrat. give it 20 your children to play with.
Tell your wife 20 pull OF the button and
toast bread on it. Stick il in the ground
if YOU are 4 Georgia Democrat very likely
that is the kind OF a floor YOU have nyour
house-and il will make a good candle
stick.
SO that i the end of the bayonct. Dur
ing the past twenty years the Dem erat.'
party lived under IL b4leful shadow
Death slittered on IT. hateful aud pitiic>>
point. Blood. the blood OF Democrats.
slaughtered Democrats, ran down is u1r-
derOus grooves. Not only 40 NicksburS
and Gettysburg, Oh, no; the orators of
the party always felt u little sensitive
about referring 10 the Democrats who, for
the best OF reasons were righuuily punched
full OF holes AT those piSceS-but nj al,
other places. az all times, ~ their meals
at their places Of business, iu workshop
and Office in bed behind the wash tub, IN
the cradle. in the bath-uo. we mistake
never in the bath; but in the saloon, be
hind the door, at the altar in church, ey-
erywhere, hour by hour. the ruthless, pitt
less. awful slaughter went on. the mcrci-
less bayOuet making colanlerS out OF Dem
ocrats of all ages, sexes. and previous con
ditiOnS OF seryitUde>. Plunge, plunge,
plunge; in high fierce, parry-thru>t and
develop, Hour after hour, and sixty
times q minute, and every time the bayo-
net luuged Democrat was dead. The
Democratic party taught Us this ON the
stump on the platform, from occasional
only occasional and very rare occasional,
thank heayen-pulpits, through their news
papers they talked this precious stuff
This whole country reeled 20 and fro Ike
druken man, the republic trembled in the
blotted out the sun; Imperialism drew the
stars from the bending heavens, the ground
was torn up, and there was blood on the
moon. every time green country boy
nineteen years old ran away from the farm.
and enliStiug in the regular army, was or
dered 20 report for duty 10 General Win
Held :. Hancock, regular army officer IN
command of whole arsenal Of bayOnetS,
and at present the commanding officer Of
the Democratic party.
But now the slaughter ceases. The
murder come 10 4 full stop. A conven-
tion OF wise men, many. indeed the great,
and in fact, the unanimous majority Of
whom have time and again seen the coun-
try destroyed aud it, sons murdered, and
It's daughters dragged into slavery, yes.
and have even themselves been ruthlesSly
murdered by these bayonetS, recently met
in Cincinnati 70 investigate this matter
more closely, and declared the bayonet
harmless. Not only is il inOcuOuS bat it
is beneficial. II i good 70 take. SO they
took some of il. They appear TO like il.
Ii may be that they diSSemble, but al any
rate they affect 20 like il, and they call for
more. IL was u mistake, they say, about
the perils oil bayOnet rule. Ii i not dan
gerous. Really the county properly be-
longs 10 the regular army. Give il 10
General Hancock. He never killed any
body with bayonet hangman is really
a mnch more acceptable and appropriate
candidate for the Democratic party than a
soldier. And then, besides, Mrs. Surratt
once with 4 rope. But that wasn't
bayOnet. \ hangman is really, a
much more acceptable and appropriate
candidate for the Democratic party than a
soldier. And then, besides, Mrs. Surratt
was 4 woman, and that doesn't count.
She had no vote anyhow, and wouldn't
have to-day, even had she not been
hanged. Hurrah for the bayonet. IL is
the only harmless thing yet There is
danger to a Democrat in the rope. All,
yes; every now and then the rope catches
q good Democrat who was never caught
within five hundred miles Of bayonet.
Cross the bayonets on the Democratic
shield; it is the new coat of arms of the
party that suffered more under "bayonet
rule" than the Jews ever suffered in the
sieges Of Jerusalem. Bring out the bay
onets in silver. good artist, that they may