The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1880-04-17
THE BRIGHT SIDE.
As Shown by Good HUNDRED Par.
agraphists.

The young onion bed is now scenter
of attraction Toledo Blade.
How to find chip of the old block
ak the block Boston Transcript.
Gloves last the longest with the lady
who has a diamond ring.-[ Boston
Transcript.
If your lamp is he IVY, bit of long,
narrow paper will m ke lamp lighter
Marathon Independent.
Buffers Analogy - Professor: "Mr.
T, you may pass on to the Future
Life" Mr.. T-:"Not prepared"
The reason that Darwin's missing link
is so hard to find is because dead men
tell of no tails.-- New Orleans Times.
Ladies, beware of the man with Glove
in breath; he may show the cloven foot
one of these d 'ya-[ Boston Transcript
Patrick dressing for party)-"Bedad
now, and l shan't be able to git on these
boots till Pve worn them tonne or
two."- Inter-Ocean.
Four million unmarried women in the
country and ice cream quotations stead
lily advancing. What is to be done?-
New York Commercial Advertiser.
1t is now claimed that the first time
the expression Eureka" was used. was
when Socrates sat down on a tack for
which he had been looking Yale
News
"Don't be afraid" said snob to a
German laborer; "sit down and make
yourself my equal" 81 would half to
blow my prains out" was the reply of
the Teuton. ...
Tight shoes are said by Boston ocu-
lists to make bad eyesight. Now we may
account for the fact that barefoot boys
see so much that is going on.-L New
York Herald.
NJ. Meissonier, the great French artist,
''paints very slowly" The same may be
said of house-painter working by the
day, but this doesn't make him great
artist Puck.
A clock was on view at the Paris Ex-
hibition which fred off pistol hourly.
The exhibitor, on being questioned as
to the object, explained, phlegmatically,
that it was to "kill time"
"You do not like to make calls, y
said an uncle to his nephew. "But you
must make calls" he continued, "for
there's always pleasure derived-if not
when YOU enter, at least when you come
out"
A little hoy, watching the burning Of
the school-house until the novelty of the
thing had ceased, started down the street
saying: "Pm glad the old things burned
down; I didn't have my jogfry lesson, nc
how"
The Burlington Hawkeye remarks that
''as you travel around the country you
are more and more impressed with the
conviction that the chief end of man is
to paint patent medicine signs on the
fences"
Professor-"Will you mention SOM
liquid that is lighter than waterw Jun
ior-"Alcohol." Professor-"Can yo,
mention any other with which you ar
familiarT Junior Immediately searche
for club.-[College Newspaper.
A young lady of Wisconsin attempted
to lump from train which did not sto]
at her station, and she went through
sash in the depot and regained her fee
} without a hurt. "There's a light in til
} window for thee."-[New York Herald.
"I do love a fool!" said Ophicleide
with a scornful glance at his neighbol
"You conceited egotist," replied Fog
horn, with scathing calmness, and tn
, fight was over before the police coul
get there.-[Burlington Hawkeye.
Young housewife: 'Dear mel Whs
yery small eggs for twopence-halfpenn
leachl 1t seems quite extravagant
u : take themw Affable dairy woman
"WeT, yes MN, so it does. But I,
always noticed that new-laid eggs al
!. small"
n "What's the matter, Johnny-not ,
t school? Are you illp "No, Pve strucl
d You see, was getting 10 cents wee
n for taking no sugar in my tea, and Bl
Il Wilkins, he gets 15, and l want m
= rights" ."-[New York Commercial A.
, vertiser.
= Who wouldn't be a boy? Think
j. the fun boys have. No responsibility
h Clothed, fed, and housed without
e thought or a care about it. And yet
e bow is never contented, and we wouldn
give fly for him if he was New Fl
ven Register.
" 1.-TWO sisters, of Glasgow, got mad at
J plumber and threw him out of the tift
g story window" But ne got even viii
e the sisters. He charged them doub
!, time from the minute he left the windo
until he struck the sidewalk Norri
\ town Herald.
u The Sultan has 1000 servants; an
+ yet we dare say, when the furnace Fl
IS won't work, the Sultana tells him it
the girls night out, and he has to {
shining around in the cellar to war
II IL up the harem again. Boston Comme
o cial Bulletin.
y No real generous man would 90 to