The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-05-14

heard the reports, and commenced to
make flank movements | ordered him TO
come to a parade rest, but he evidently mis-.
understood the command, aud started on a
double-quick in tho opposite direction. |
chased him six blocks before | caught him.
/ grasped him by the collar and asked Sc.
verely, "what meaneth these actions upon
the part of the populace, myself included
among the number? Selah" said 'Se-
Lab !" for didn't know what it meant, and
/ knew he wouldn't, and thought lac might
think it WIS some new kind of an Internal
machine and tell me all, for fear would let
il loose on him. He said, "pleasc don't get
so close to me---somebody might see me
with you and il would ruin my chances for
honest employment in this place" ! looked
a. him wistfully and breNthed thusly close TO
his two-story cars Speak no longer in
riddles, discard conuhdrums We will now
organize into Major Penn experience meet
ing. Sinner, give in your experience. This
alegoricsl style of speaking brought him to
time. think he took me then for the first
mate of vigilance committee. He said
''don't injure me and | will tell you
all, and leave town by the first train,
fyou desire it," Then hurled the follow
ing verbs down those two-story ears, "Dis-
close divulge reveal this terrible mys-
terry" He said "Don't you write for the
Dallas herald" | replied, Il am proud
to say do" got ready then for him to
co ppliment me and he said, SWELL It's moth
ing to be proud of you ought to be as AIMED
of to own up like you do | don't believe
your mother knows you do IL or she would
have it stopped | grabbed him by each
ear and swung him around over my head
once and SAID, "now explain yourself, or |
will make flying circus Of you in two min
utes and use your ears forrevolving machine
ry" He gasped out, didn't the HERALD
publish piece about man being hung in
St. Louis, and after hr brains had been taken
out also his heart, they were placed back
aga n and powerful battery brought TO
bear on him and he returned to life and
talked% | didn't like to own up to it
and replied evasively, "possibly it did" He
said, ''wcl nobody but newspaper man
would make such a statement Ms that" |
WINGED a little, but could
not find heart to condemn his
language. He Said "Pcople would have over
looked the matter, but nobody publicly pro-
lished, and you fellows felt emboldened be-
thust Vut DubllN ltNl NuhNItu III
silence, and came outin Wednesdays HER
AID with that Minnesota spl er story
ABOUT spiders three and one-half inches long,
and weighing a-half pound, which would
catch cat with whole litter Of kittens, and
suspend them to the cro,s-bcam Of barn,
and then raid on bulldogs and treat them in
similar manner, and finally wind up their
psstime by drawing up sucking colts in the
same warfare. You are just experiencing
the first ripples Of u tidal wave of scorn, that
will engulf you in the waters of oblivion
That is why people avoid you, | would ad-
wise you to move to some strange place
where you are not known, and commence life
anew with the ten commandments for foun-
dution. You are marked man in this com
munty," replied ''tho whole matter is easily
explained" "No it amt easily explained;
you can't explain it here; the people will not
sttnloyour Xpnnaticn;go WesH Dung man,
go West" he remarked. said: This
spider business FIRST commenced in Colorado,
and the only object the HERALD had in pub
fishing the Minnesota story WAS to show that
Colorado liars were not a circumstance to the
followers Of Ananias in Minnesota" "Goure
statement may be true but it won't do you
any good here. 1t will not do for Inc to be
seen with you any more it will ruin me- |
feel sorry for you, but must go, Ta-ta! )"
and he Slid quietly down back street, leav-
ing me alone in my misery. The consequence
is, | have got to 90 clear out to Colorado and
trace up the original liar about that spider
story in order to clear my skirts and prove TO
this com.nuity that had nothing to do with
it | will leave in about week or so for
Denver to accomplish my mission.