Ashtabula telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1874-1880, 1880-01-30

Recipe for making catSup-Put q saucer
of cream before hungry puss.
The biggest fool in the world IS dead.
Told his mother-in-law she lied. Did it
with her little skillet.
We have known many a man 10 sit
around waiting for something to turn up
until that something was his toes.
"Ninety and nine" folks in the hun
dred make mistake when they cut off
a dogs tail. They preserve the wrong
end.
whats the batter with be this bord-
ig g?' said Jones; "why, I've got a dabbed
dasty cold. Cub ad take sObe rub and
sub"
During a thunder storm two dogs that
dowled dismally at night were struck by
lightning and killed. Howling dogs
should cut this out and paste it in their
hats.
as your master upP asked an early
visitor of nobleman's valet. eyes, sir"
answered the valet, with great innO-
cence; the butler and 1 carried him up
about three o'clock"
Early one morning, a banker was
found on his knees at his front door, try
ing to unlock it with lead p~ il, and
saying, "Howze zhis ? Somebody's been
foolin' with re combination"
"What would you do if a girl kissed
you?' asked one urchin of another.
AWhat would I dol I'd kiss her back.
What would you doT "Id kiss her
mouth" was the portentous reply.
An editor whose office was taken for
e Ao- scA ho1
BILE to explain that so far from stufing
birds, and minks, and things, he had to
''hustle around pretty lively in order to
get enough stufing for himself.
The most treacherous and cruel thing
on earth is an empty old gun that has
been laid away in the garret or knocked
around as plaything for ten or fifteen
years. You may snap it at a stump all
day, and it will miss fire every time, but
the very first time you snap it at yom
brother, or your sister, or your sweet
heart-bangl and you've shot a hole
through somebody.
A gentleman entered a grocery store
in Indiana recently, and asked for a gal
lon of molasses. Having drawn it, the
storekeeper asked him what he would
take it home in. "In my hat" promptly
replied the customer, calmly holding out
new silk hat, into which the grocer,
not to be outdone in GOODNESS, poured the
fluid. Then the customer jammed the
hat over the gTocer's head, and having
thus occupied his attention, took what
money there was in the till and skipped
out.
A masked burglar entered q room
where a man and his wife lay asleep.
They both awoke, when the robber point
ed a pistol at their heads and quietly
backed out of the room, and got off with
his plunder. The startled slumberers
were terribly frightened, "the mans
hair turning white before morning"
The woman was as much scared as her
husband, but upon examining her hair,
which hung over the back of chair,
it was found not Ito have changed a par
ticle.i
DzPTHERIA.-It is stated upon good
that but little more than
twenty years ago diptheria as a dis
ttnctiYe malady was scarcely recognized
among general practitioners: It then
appears to have been almost entirely
confined to single district in France. and
was called "the Boulogne sore throat"
1t soon appeared nearly in its present !
form in Norfolk, in England, then in
Wales, and afterwards in London, where !
it was for time very distinctive. In |
the few intervening years it has spread |
everywhere, attacking chiefly children, |
but not sparing middle age, and to this |
day there is a conflict of authority be |
tween European physicians upon the |
question whether it is a disease pe- Sc.
or another and an aggravated variety |
of Group.
A beautiful custom prevails among
the simple dWellers on the Swiss Alps. |
AS the setting sun gilds the summit of
the Alps, the shepherd who inhabits the
highest peak of these mountains takes
his horn and cries with a loud voice
Praised be the Lord" As soon as the
neighboFing shepherds hear him they
leaYe their huts and repeat these words.
The sounds are prolonged many minutes,
while the echoes of the mountain and
grottoes repeat the name of God. I'm
lgination cannot picture anything more
solemn or sublime than such a scene.
During the silence that succeeds, the
shepherds bend their knees and pray in
,he open air, and then repair to their
nuts to rest.
1t is a common practice of cooks, and
,tten of those who are called good
to sprinkle salt over meat
when just ready to put o7er the fire
low, to salt any meat before it is well
leated thFOugh-or,. better still, half
injuFe very materially the
vest ever sold in market, and certainly
Iuite spoil a poor article, no matter
whether it Is steak, roast or stew. 1t will
larden the fibres, toughen the meat all
through, extract the best of the juice,
make it very injurious to the stomach.
nd give no pleasure to the palater
The two most precious things on this
de of the grave are our reputation
nd our life. But it is to be lamented
lat the most contemplate whisper
,ay deprive us of the one, and weaken
ne other. A wise man, therefore, will
Z mere anxious to deserve a fair name
IAN to possess it, and this will teach
i'm so to Gve as not 70 be afraid to die.
A Sunday School teacher asked a little
irl who was the first man. She answer
i that she didn't know. The question
as then put to an Irish gill, who ans
-ered, adam, sir" with apparent salts
lction. "Lal" said the first child, "you
eedn't feel so grand about 1.-THE wasn't
n Irishmanl"
never yet, says Jane Porter, heard
en- or women much abused that l was
1t inclined to think the better of them,
ID to transfer any suspicious or dislike
the person who appeared to take de-
int in pointing out the defects Of fellow
eatures.
French scientific authority states that
e ordinary rate of mans walking is
feet per seconds Of q good horse in
Irness, II; of a reindeer i'm a sleigh on
g ice, 30; of q race,horse, AS Of q
re, So; of good sailing ship, IA and
the wind. so.
The best recipe for going through life
an exquisite way with beautiful man
RS, is to feel that everybody, no matter
wv rich or how poor, needs all the
ndness they can get from others in the
)rld
Who under pressing temptation to lie,
heres to truth, not to the profane be-
US ought of secret trust, is near the e
nmit of wisdom and virtue.
California paper says the Japanese n
II win universal respect by sort of Y
habit they have of minding a
cir own business, III
m a dilemma, during the time a man ne
$ been standing like n fool. fumbling ca
an excuse, a woman will have in cr, crI
nted ten thousand ns'