davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-04

meetin's and sewing societies. for
haven't lseen you to our meetln's three
q four tunes lately, is q gom' to throw
& yourself away on that gay young strip
IN VINO 9, IN, tney DO say amt over and
above q. s ~ for he's been known to go
% 20 oancM parties, and Is all given up
the world 70 and lts SIN and witchcraft?
On, you'll repent ont, now you mark
my words
" Yes, Sister jerks is in the right.
added Mrs. Joyce, who had been work
ing herself up to the highest pitch Of
excitement you go and marry tina
young proairgate and all your serous
thoughts will be turned into vanity and
vexation OF speret. Oh, how can you
be so disprudent9 Now, there is old
Deacon Short in want of wife and list
the one for you. Instead Of spending
your money for hivulhes, 'twou1d 90 to
scoleporeters that are wearing themselves
out for the poor ignited folks that would
never know nothin'. # 'twant for them -
OF else perhaps he'd take it and buy
him 9 good farm with, which would be
much better than to let that young spirit
have it to buy neckties, and pay dancin'
masters with
During this TRADE Miss Lenox sat in
an amused attitude coolly marking
down the, programme for the lessons Of
certain scholars the following day. her
Indifference SO pulling and aggravating
her would-be counselors that they were
a 30. % leave We N disgust, when Willie
8Clve Ve sI unceremo y entered the
room. linen, y not before, the two old
l..sa1n 49, oDiiseu 70 : reso1t 20 tner
smelnng sA5s ana snuH, ana only that
ne came 20 mem both and shook hands
= : 49, eny way thelr emDaIrass-
mems WoGln nave Deen greater than it
VS.. s.as, - us IenoA sui Perslsted ID al
in 'osH aenofang tnelr presence:
w. w. nuW gre you seln callcer
;na Tho co,nni;nan at t th 1, H1er pass
,oa,; q me old price, mrs. Joyce he
e IA einY vo,+,, :, h;,, -, sann
M +;,na - al /. :. ~, uou ~ M
81 - ah = az y ou mgrca Ms are al 9
and than starfed i har noeo,an s. yehks'
~ a,,d ,n,.s 49, ~; ~. n iouoM-
n,73 - n;ns 80 49,, s - so nsIoee "ien-
ct donst Innn 49,, .shat 49, - '..m as I;n
I uon : Know Wnat me world Is com
w;cIedness t;, Mas - o. lts
ness nf that woman a 1v IN H, ssug Joua
n ns4s. - ~ na. Wcnan saio MRS. joyce,
= o,e eI M'@s u W, - n1sal 81 1ne laay
.hacnroa s. ~ -. 49, 49,, . uon : Asei "nat
d,,tv - - 1te1 ~" "o se oen9 QUIZ
80 :, ;,
Nor ], muttered Miss jerks, "and
I feel mad to think disgraced myself
SO much g TO 80 near her:
And ! too, feel awfully ashamed
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Tclegraphic Blunders.

A gentleman who had gone to the
country to find summer location for his
family telegraphed to his wife. " Home
tonight" and so the wife posted into
the country at once, while the husband
was making his way in contrary direc-
ton.
Not long since n message came to the
principal Of business house in this city
from his travelling agent, who had
reached Phiadelphia--"Am at Continen-
tai Hotel. Send some hash by mail. "
The agent did not intend to reflect on
the food at the hotel, but wanted "cosh "
sent by mail.
An aifectionate uncle was informed by
telegraph : "Mary is to be buried on
Wednesday. Come sure." Mary, who
| lived in Chicago, was his fayorite niece,
and, as he had not heard Of her illness,
the sad intelligence gave him n severe
shock. He dressed himself in deep
mourning, and made a hurried journey
10 the west TO find a jovial party assem-
blcd at Mary's wedding. The wires had
arranged for her to be "buried instead
Of married. "
Probably the worst blunder ever made
was one that occurred in the case OF {
st. Louis merchant, who, while in New
York, received a telegram informing hin
that his wife was i'll. lie sent message
to his family doctor, asking the nature
of the sickness and if there was any dan
ger, and received promptly the answer
"No danger. Your wife had a child
If we can keep her from having anothe
tonight she will do we'll" The mystifi
cation of the agtatcd husband was no
removed until second inquiry reycalc,
the fact that his indisposed lady had ha
Il " chill. "-From the Hour.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
The First SIenning.Car.

A writer in the Davenport DcHlOcr0t
thus tells the story of the first sleeping
car and its first public Appearance 81
remember the date Of its very first APP
penrance-Sept. lG, 1856 was ON my
way West and had arrived ut Toledo
carly III the evening, behind time, and
had two hours to pass before the depart
IRE of the trim for Chicago, III the
waiting-rOom. / had noticed II rather
quccr-lOokiu8 contryman, and, some
what to my surprise, he accosted me
with the inquiry
Wouldn't you like to sec something
ncwY
"Of course I would, and | accom-
panied him ont through the depot
umoEg innumerablc cars, one of which
he opened and, after lighting several
lamps, invited me to enter. We'll, 1t
was something ncw--a large car illled
with double tier Of beds-bunks, more
properly speaking. The man was Wood
ruff, Tie well-known slccping-car pat
cntcc, and this was the first sleeping
car and its first appearance III pubic.
Mr.. Woodruff had, during several years
past, been obliged to accompany LIS
wife, Il chronic invalid, from Ohio to
Philadelphia, for medical treatment,
and her suferings on the journey had
constantly suggested the possibility OF
more comfortable conveyance, SO that nj
lust he conceived the. idea of portable
and adjustable bcrths; and, buying an
old car, he worked out his idca and had,
only an hour previous, brought 1t III toi
II trial trip which was to be made that
same night"
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

We may excuse the foreigner if, III
speaking our language, Inc occasionally
misapplics m ambiguous word, however
oddly it may sound. DR.. Chalmers once
entertained distinguished guest from
Switzerland, whom he asked if he would
be helped to some "kippcrod salmon.
The foreign divine asked the meaning OF
the mcouth word "kippcrcd, " and wMi
told that it meant preserved" Soon
after the Switzer made use Of this newly
acquired expression in public prayer,
when he offered petition that Il distin-
g1rishcd divine might long he "kippcrod
to the Free Church of Scotland" Here
is another example of n possible miscon-
struction of language: 81 fear" said a
country curate to his flock, "whcn lex
planned to You i'll my last charity sermon
that philanthropy was the love Of om
species, you must have understood me
to say specie, which may account for
the smallncss OF the collection. You
will prove, hope, by your present con-
tribution that you are no longer labor
ing under the same mistake. - hans-
JcrS' Journal.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Rings Versus Seats.

A queer story is told of an eminent
preacher at Norwich England. On the
occasion of State service to Il crowded
house he made sudden pause in his
sermon, and read in sonorous voice the
irrelevant quotation from the second
chapter of ST. James: "FOr if there come
unto your assembly man with n gold
ring, in goodly apparel, and there come
in also poor man i'll vile raiment, and
We have respect to him that wearcth tho
gay clothing, and say unto him, sit thou
here in good place; and say to tho
poor, stand thou there, or sit here under
my footstool, are We not then partial in
yourselves and are become judges OF evil
thoughts?" The congregation was stupi-
fled. Having thus rivited their atten-
tention, he addressed himself by name
to gentleman in the gallery: Has
that poor man who stands at the back of
your pew gold ring on his finger?"
The gentleman turned round, and re-
piled:
81 believe not, sir"
ooh, then, | suppose that is the reason
he must not have n seat.
The gentleman had three gold rings on
his hand, and his pew was nearly
empty, but, as may DO imagined, it did
not long remain SO.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

The Portland AdpertiSer tells the fol-
lowing story: There was an eminent
sergeant-at-law some years ago who had
a cork leg that was triumph OF artistic
deception. None but his intimates knew
for certain which was the real and which
was the sham limb. A wild young wag
of the Guitar bar" who knew the SER
geant pretty well, once thought to util-
lze this knowledge OF the sergeants
secret to take in a newly-hedged young
barrister. The sergeant was addressing
special Jury at Westministerin his usual
earnest and vehement style, and the wag
whispered to his neighbor, "You see
how hot old buzfuz is over his case (;
now, I'll bet You sovereign I'll run
this pin into his leg up to the head, and
he'll never notice it, he's so absorbed in
his case. He's a most extraordinary
man in that way" This was more than
the greenhorn could swallow, so he took
the bet The wag took large pin from
his waistcoat, and leaning forward drove
il up to the head into the sergeants leg.
A yell that froze the blood of all who
heard it, that made the hair of the jury
stand on end and caused the Judges wig
almost to fall of, ran through the court.
"By Jove, it's the wrong leg, and I've
lost my money" exclaimed the dislnayed
and conscience-stricken wag, quite re.
CARELESS of the pain he had inflicted
mon the learned sergeant.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
one Experience from Many.

81 had been sick and miserable 50 long
and had caused my husband 50 much
trouble and expense, no one seemed t.
know what allied me, and | was com
pletcly disheartcned and discouraged. IN
this frame Of mind got u bottle Of lloI
Bitters and used them unknown to my
family. ! soon began to improve ano
Gained 50 fast that my husband and fam
lily thought it strange and unnatural, but
when | told them what had helped me
they said lIurrah for Hop Bittcr' Ion.
may may they prosper for they have
made mother well and lis happy Tho
Mnlher-IInmc .IOurnNl.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
RjbIe Revision.

Concerning the revision OF the Blple
the Christian Union says "The work
is rapidly drawing to close. we may
expect the issue at the end OF this year
or the beginning Of the next. Inc
New Testament will be published
by itself. The Old Testament can
not, properly, be issued before T,
If we should indulge in predictions we
should likely say that preiudiced minds
will object 20 many changes that Will DC
found, because some familiar phrases,
like He who now letteth will let, Will
1--WE doubt not be rubbed out, and some,
thing better inserted. But thoughtful
persons, and those who desire the mean
ing of the Greek original, cannot but be
pleased with a translation in which forty
one Greek scholars OF all Christian crcedl
are agreed. We are not AFRAID That IL
style any more than III translation these
forty-onc men will go astray and shock
the Protestant world. These men know
what is good English, and what is di2ni-
fed English. They love the old En-
dish Bible MS much as Bishop Coke
docs, and thcy will see that it is no.
roughly treated. Our advice, then, !,
to keep quiet till the revised version ay
pears, and then let us examine it, not III
the light of our prejudiccs, but in the
light OF scholarly common sense. Al
attempts now to say what it is, on to rs
sail it, are premature. Our own writing
is merely to show that We have reason t.
expect the best"
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Recognition.

After he had chased the car for a
block and q half he managed to get
aboard, when, much to his Indignation.
he found one of his friends in the car,
"You saw me running-why didn't You
stop the car and not let me run myself
TO death ?" and with hooked finger he
slung some of the PRESENTATION from his
brow ont of tho window. 81 didn't
recognize you at first. / could only sec
the upper part OF your body from where
I was sitting. If had only seen your
feet I would have known you several
miles," The rest Of the passengers
glanced at his feet and smiled. They
were regular beetle-crllshers. The owner
of them seemed to have all the cXplana-
ton he needed for the time being
Galveston Ne,cS.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Died ms n King Sllonld.

j. H. Murdoch has written book on
the stage, in which occurs the following
story:
Mr.. Macrcady was fond Of telling the
following story ns his experience Of
American independence, cXcmplitlcd in
II Western actor, OF the sclf-satislied
kind. "In the last net Of Hamlet, u"
said he, 81 was very anxious TO have
the King, who was rather of democrat
ic turn Of mind, to fall, when | stabbed
! him, over the steps OF the throne and on
the right-hand side, with his feet to the
left, in order that when | was to fall [
should have the center of the stage to
myself, as beiitting the principal per-
sonnge of the tragedy. No objection
was made to this request on the part Of
the actor, but ut night, to my great sur
prise, he wheeled directly round after
receiving the sword thrust, and deIiber-
ately fell in the middle of the scene, Just
on the spot where | was i'll the habit Of
dying. Well, us Il dead man cannot
move himself, and as there was no
time for others to do it, the Kings body
remained in possession of my place, and
| was forced to find another situation,
which | did, and finished the scene in
the best way | could.
"When | expostulated with his Maj
csty for the liberty he had taken, he
coolly replied: Mr.. Macrcady, we
Western people know nothing about
Kings excepting TINT they have an odd
trick OF doing as they please; therefore,
| thought, as | was King, l had right
to do whatever l - pleased and so,
sir, fell back upon my kingly rights,
from which, you perceive, sir, there is
no appeal. retired" said Mr.. Mac
ready, "to my drcssing-room to have u
hearty laugh over what L felt more like
CRYING over n moment before.
THE remedy that win cure the many disease,
peculiar to women il Warmers Safe Kidney and
Liver Cure-MoLie1's NagdziI.S,
A VOLUME containing descriptions of
all the presents ever given to n Queen is
certainly an oddly, but it is said that
Queen Victoria proposes to issue such n
cook. 1t is to be illustrated by photo
graphs, and to include not merely costly
gifts but simple tokens of affection which
have been given by her poor subjects at
Balmora.
Love In n cottage with corned beef
and cabbage, double discounts married
infelicity in palace with quail on toast
and champagne. This is true, young peo-
pie, though it looks hard to believe.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

THE Detrait Free Press gives long
list of definitions of words from the
thieves dialect" The Boston Post
thinks that "this will be a great help to
new settlers i'll Detroit who don'twant to
appear ignorant in good society"
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
ISt. Paul Pioneer Press,
What we Hate,

We hate growing, no matter the
source or cause, and recommend here
with the remedy, Use st, Jacobs OIL
and laugh at pain, 1t will do the work
cNrrY Time.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Kidney Complaints.
clscHsArI, o., March 10, lo7

Cl9clsNAIlI % NAIvH 10 IoI''
II. Il. SrrgESs! ,, ,i.
Dear Sri hays used your YEaErsE i,r soms 'Ine
aud can rnthtly say has been great GehI' 20 m'
cbeerfully recommend ii, - =, c,,,rt,
Respectfully, U. H. sMllh
Attestei 10 by X i. Ashheld, druggist corner EBh'l
"1' CIsUrsHArI, o., April 10, 1877.
Mn. II. Il. STEvESs go ill.,, 1850,
have suaered several years with tho kidney com
plant and was induced 10 Try NEdETNE nave taksn
several bottles OF your preparation, ana am oohFcu "
ia valuable remedy. 1t MS done mo more good than
any other medicine. can heartily recommend to all
suffering from kidney complaints. ,,,,,,,ry
Yours respectfully, T. >; scM i =,
First bookkeoper for Newhall Gale Co., Flour Mer'
chants, No. 50 West Front street, C!rG.Ila'i' "
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
TO COnSumptiVes.

Y oDHRs EMULSION OF COD LIVER OF, AND
IL wild Cherry Bark, the most palaable cornbinasies
Of these renowned remedies srtant An unequhsd RENE
dy for Consumption scrofuA, all Lung affections, Esr'
yous Debility, and all wasting Diseases The manner In
which Cod Liver oil y combined with the wild Cher
ach nsures complete digestion Of the Oil, tones up the
aystsm relieves cough causes increase o. nesh and
strength Endorsed 81 lhs most eminent physic!sns A
wsllinown specialist In Lung affections has used y In
oysr two hundred cases. and says there 40 combina
hoh equal to for Consumption, scroflla" e,o Thou
sands Of sufferers need and desire 10 take conbination
Of Cod Liver OIL but nave been unable to do so. Thoy
will And that they take this preparation readily and
with excellent results Price, ons Dollar per Bottle
formation 10 all sufferers sent receipt Of deserp
Men Of case. Address all orders 10
G, q. A. LODER, Manufacturing Chemist,
b3s Chestnut 3d., Philadelphia, Pa.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
cusromrR-"What do you think of Malt Bit

GET Lvon's Patent Heel stilreners applied 10
tboso ney boots before Won run them over.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

THE greatest effects have sometimes the
smallest cause. Life is constantly sacrificed by
neglect of Coughs and Colds, when 70 cen'
bottle Of Dr. Bulls Cough Syrup would save
the sufferer.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

IT is said that Elisha Bliss, jun, who
lately died at Hartford, Conn, made a
fortune by discovering the fun Of Mark
Twain's IanOcents AbrOad while the
work was in manuscript Twain had
tried in vain to find publisher, and was
about to throw the matter aside in de-
SPAR, when a journalist friend sent him
to Bliss, whowas the President Of Sub
a,viption Book Company.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Stealing Another,s Comfort.

ANY one who has stopped over night
at large hotel has been disturbed IN the
small hours by persons walking in the
halls as heavily and carelessly as if it
were midday. Guests who are up late
seem thoughtless Of the quiet OF those
wrapped in slumber. Such conduct is sell
iishness OF which any sensible person
ought to bea shamed.
A grave gentleman at the Fifth Avenue
Hotel once complained Of ii to the genial
clerk. 81 am surprised" he said, "that
Won harbor thieves in this house."
"Thievcs, sir? Harbor thieves?
What do you mean, sir? Explain, if
you please.
ii mean that / had something stolen
from me last night by one Of your
guests"
ave are all exposed to sneak thieves,
sin"
"Bnt this was not a sneak thief. 1t
was a guest in the house, sir, and quar-
tered as comfortably as L was. "
"This is very extraordinary, sir.
What was stolen from you, sir, and at
what hour?
The gentleman answered with great
eamestness. "At 2 o'clock this morn
ing some most precious sleep was stolen
from me by one Of your guests, and with
a pair Of boots"
Was not this guest one Of the meancst
Of sneak thieves?
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

vEGErIgE has restored thousands TO health VINO nave
been long and painful sunereIs
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Deafness, Ear Diseases, C2t2ppb

Dr. &. Il. SIiOEjIAHER, the well-l,nown erpe.
rIeucrd Aurn Surgeon Author and Writer on the above
Diseases may la consulted by mail personally at his
Office, No GI5 Walnut street, Reading, I'm.
IL. small book sent free. His large and complete work
Of $40 agos Deafness Diseases Of the Ear and Tom
pills, aud Catarrh, and their proper teatment price -
by mail.
NoGE.-No one will question Dr.. shoemakers standing
d. skill.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
An Eel Story.

Not long since u well on the farm OF
Abncr Welsh, near Orangcvillc, Pa, III
consequence Of impurities in the water,
WIS cleaned, and when the water was
pumped ont there was found IN the edge
Of the wall near the bottom the dccayln8
remains Of n large eel The history Of
this eel runs as follows: In the summer
Of 1859 Joseph llugcs, who then resided
ON this farm, caught n number OF GELS,
among which was ono enormous eel
which he took great pride in exhibiting
to his ncighbOrs. The Gcls were left
over nipht in vessel standing on the
well floor and in the morning the large
eel was gone. The natural suppositlon
was that it had been stolen, but the truth
WIS that it had sQuirmcd out Of the tub,
worked its way through the lloor and fell
twcnty-thrco feet INTO the water. Some
wears later it was seen by Il man cleaning
fine well. On account Of the sandy bot
tom and abundance Of water all attempts
to catch it were fruitlcss. From time to
to time it was seen by persons cleaning
tine well, until this season, when, the
water becoming tainted, the well was
AGAIN cloancdand his remains were found.
Before the visitation Of this eel small
lizards were SO plentiful in the well that
Great care had to be taking in using the
water. Since then scarcely any have
been found till this summer. Now they
have again made their appearance.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
Feeble Ladies'.

Those languid, tiresomc sensations,
causing you to feel scarcely able to be on
your feet; that constant drain that is
taking from your system all its elasticity;
driving the blood from your checks; that
continual strain upon your vital forces,
rendering you irritable and fretful, can
easily be removed by the Use of that
marvellous remedy, Hop Bitters. lrregu-
larities and Instructions of your system
are relieved at once, while the special
cause of periodical pain is removed.
Will you heed this cincinnati Satur-
day night.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

LAWYERS and doctors increase and
multiply in England, but there is wo-
full lack of preachers, plenty Of curacies
being vacant.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

LOVE in n cottage with corned beef
and cabbage, double discounts married
infelicity in palace with quail on toast
and champagne. This is true, young peo-
pie, though it looks hard to believe.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

DTTOn nit 4 n Agents wanted eyerywhersto.i
IuIUE I'LL " to families, hotels and large con-
III1n | n n II sumers; largest stock in the cOun
J. u II i LLlbiry; quality and terms the bs.
Country storekeeperi should call or write THE WELLS
TEA COMPANY, pol Fulton St.. N. Y. p o. Boz iS6O
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08
ON 80 DAYS. TRIAL.

We will send our Electro oltae Ben ana o.hs
ssict.S wltH Erpon Dtbaiiy and datsia q psr''ns.
sstuse. Also Of the Liver Kidneys, Rheumatism r.
rsiysis nc, suve cure guaranteed o. no pdy:. ~
Adore. v0itsic Belt Co.. marslall. mlch.
The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-12-08

THE remedy that win cure the many disease,
peculiar to women il Warmers Safe Kidney and
Liver Cure -MOha''S UdgdziIls>