Morning journal and courier., 1880-09-10
THE HANCOCK BOOM.
A charming young girl in Geneva, Who suffered last year from hay-fever, DecIared to her beau
That her nose wouldn't blow; But the horrid wretch didn't believe he

That her nose wouldn't blow; But the horrid wretch didn't believe her. A poor sick man, with a mustard plaster on him, said s'If should eat a loaf of bread I'd be live sandwich
 There is a man in Aurora so thin that he had a row of buttons put on his umbrella cover and wears it for an ulster.-Bur61agto' Haaokeye.
 South End man asked one-armed or gan grinder if he was survivor of the late war, and the organist replied: Hang it, do act as though I was killed in it ?" Lyman Abbott tells of Puritans who wouldn't eat egg on Monday, flor pre- sumptively, in the order of nature, the hen had prepared it on the Sabbath day" It is easy to stump Rhode Island A grand stand is erected in the middle of the State, and the thing is done with a single speech. Parties of the opposition go into Connecticut until the speaking is over.-Neao CrEeGaas Ptcayat71e-
 It is said that St. Louis has the politest lawyer in the country. A long and terrific roll of thunder having stopped him in the midst of an address to the jury, on resuming he bowed and courteously said, ''Gentlemen, please excuse this interruption"
 An English servant girl who had returned from the United States to visit her friends at home, was told that she looked really aris-
 
 America all of us domestics belong to the hire class. ,
 ssHere James, take these two cakes and give the smaller one to your little brother"
 James examines the cakes carefully, ap- pears undecided, and finally takes heroic bite out of one of them, which he passes over to his brother with the remark
 seThere, Tommy, I've made you smaller one-they were of the same size"
 The son of Galveston merchant has, re- eently returned from his studies at a New York business college. A friend of the mer-- chant was asking the old man if the boy had improved his opportunities II should say be had - was the reply. "He can initiate anybody's handwriting, and is so expert at figures that am afraid to let him touch the books'-G GGEuestop Neacs.
 The other night, soon after ward meet ing had opened, one of the electors present began edging for the door as if he meant to leave the place. He was soon stopped by 8 friend. who said sDon't leave us now, I want you to hear what that speaker is say ing. Hear that He says we must triumph or the country is doomed 'sYes, II know, butsI've got to edge along toward home, Twas the reply. sHome2 Great heavens how can you talk of going home until he has finished that speech There he goes again He asks if you want to see grass growing in the streets of our cities-our fertile farms returned
 
 poorhouses until there is no longer room for another?'' 'No, I don't know as I would, but guess I'll sort O work my way out ssWait fifteen minutes -ten-1ve-wait until he finishes. There it is again. He asks whether you are freeman or a slave? He wants to know whether you have forgotten the patriotic principles defended by the blood of your grandsires-if you have forgotten the sound of liberty bell.n sI don't know as I have, but must go-really I must" Hear that-hear that. Hear that He says your country will bless you" 1T can't say as to that, ,,' replied the man as he crowded along ssbut I'm dead sure that the old woman will if don't git home in time to put this codfsh to soak for breakfast ttGreat guns! but do you prefer codfsh to liberty ?'' exclaimed the other. 1T don't know as do, but I git more of il. y stAnd you will see this country ruined-see her go to destruction ?" sPd be kinder sorry to see her go down hill, ,'' slowly observed the delinquent as he reached the door, sebut if you had wife who began scolding at 10 o'clock and not lose minute until daylight, and then end up with grand smash of crockery and fit of mysteries, you'd kinder stand of as do and let this glorious old republic squeeze through some mighty fine knot holes. n-D Detroit Free Press.