Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-06-22
General News.

Haying time is at hand.
A dry June is pretty sure to be followed by
wet July.
In spite of all the predictions of the de-
struction of the wheat crop in Southern
Illinois, the crop is fine one, and is now
being harvested in good condition.
"will you have some Of the sweetbread: :
asked the waiter. ''No, paid for good
dinner, and amt a-going to fill up on mo-
Iasses cake the granger replied.
The man who is curious to see how the
world could get along without him, can find
by sticking cambria needle into millpond
and then Withdrawing it and looking at the
hole.
A Vermont couple put off applying for
divorce one term Of court, so that they could
profit by their tin wedding. And yet they
tell us the people of this country are reck-
lessly extravagant and unthrifty.-Boston
Post.
There is to be large discharge of clerks
in the Patent Office very soon, on account of
the failure of Congress to appropriate the
necessary funds. This is the more inexcus-
able and indefensible for the reason that the
Patent Office is not only self-supporting but
has large sum to its credit.
Adit. Gen. Townsend, Friday regretfully
vacated the Office which he has filled with so
much ability for more than forty years, turn
ing over his records to Gen. Dunn, who sue
ceeds him. Gen. Townsend has received a
very congratulatory orler from the General
of the Army on his retirement.
The biggest brute in the small State of
Delaware is farmer who lives near Bridge
vile. He mislaid his pocket-bOOk, contain
ing little over Sc, and accused his hired
man. Ezekiel. of stealing it. Ezekiel said
he didn't The farmer insisted that he must
have done So and calling two of his neigh
b ,rs to his assistance. he tied Ezekiers hands
placed rope around his neck. throwing the
other end over limb of tree. and with
MANY oaths threatened to hang him. In or
der to emphasize his remarks he gave the
rope an occasional pull. Finally tying him
to the fence and threatening to shoot him If
he attempted to escape. the farmer went int
the honse and found the pocket-book just
where he left it.
In New York a rutfian, with a sickle.
bounced into a Salvation Army meeting and
began to- sing .'What Shall the Harvest Be?''
in tone which had so much of the war
whoop in it that the feminine Lieut.. West
brook marched him into the hands of the po-
lice and had him harvested in the station
house. His rreligious spor: cost him SO,
and the Army triumphed over his assaults.
One hour after an "old MASTER had paint
Al. s. Sd, =:
rock, a COW came along, licked it off. and
died before shutdown. When the simple
name of medicine kills q COW, human be-
ings want to beware of the stuff itself. A COW
was never killed by licking the name of a
patent medicine in a newspaper, and no 9TH
er kind can be recommended. -Norristown
Herald
An Albany lady thinks that men are verv
accommodating. especially telegraph OPP
orators. She recently returned from New
York, where she had bought dress pattern
of a prominent firm. but on reaching home
found that three yards more were needed
The pattern selected was new design and
in great demand. What to do to get her
order eo that firm for the needed quantity
she was at a loss to know. She hestated
about sending letter, fearing it might no.
be delivered in time. She conceived the
idea that she could order it by telegraph. and
proceeded to the marble building, corner of
State street and Broadway. After writing
her message on the Western Union blank.
she took from her pocket sample of the
dress pattern and pinned it securely to the
blank. She handed her message to the re-
ceiving clerk. who counted the words and
told her the COST at the same time removing
the pin and sample from the blank and hand
ing them to her. Looking at him she ex-
claimed: my good man, that is the sample
Of the goods want. and unless you forward
It they won't know what to send" The
clerk politely replied: "My good woman
we will send your message, but cannot send
the sample" She replied: ''If you can't
send the sample you won't send anything -
and took back her message and left the
office.