davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
Romance OF n Postal Card.

A postal card, was purchased in New
York, on November 20, 1879, decorated
with two one cent stamps, suitably inscrib-
ed and addressed to London, England. By
some mischance it failed to secure accom-
modations in the mail bags which left on
the steamer of that date, and its voyage
was delayed until the departure of the next
mail steamer, 1t arrived at its destination
on Dec. l3, just fifteen days from the time
it was deposited in the New York Post
Office. From London it journeyed to Mar
seilles, France, arriving there on Dec. II,
showing no sighs of sea sickness or fatigue.
On Dec. %, 1t was manipulated by the
officials of Cairo, Egypt, who wished it a
merry Christmas and 'FGod speed" on its
voyage, to Bombay, India, where 1t landed
on Jan. 10, 1880. On Feb. 2, the almond
eyed Celestial who rules the destiny of the
Post Office at Singapore, China, gave it
ticket of leave in well known laundry
hieroglyphics, and allowed it to depart the
empire for Yokohama, Japan, where it was
received March 9. Becoming homeslck at
this point, the plucky postal card embark
ed on an American bound vessel, and on
March 26, it reached San Francisco. AL
territory as ex-President Grant, it's arrival
was signalized by no demonstration from
Dennis Kearney's fellow townsmen. 1t was
met at the wharf by the officials of the
Mail Department-the drivers of the wag-
ons-and quietly conveyed to the Post
Office, where it was rendered reception
by the distributing clerks, and quietly es-
corted to a train en- route for New York.
On April 3, it took up permanent quarters
with Mr.. Rogers in New York, the city
where it first saw the light. 1t bears its
honors meekly and refuses, courteously but
firmly, to be interviewed. The time con-
sumed in this noteworthy journey was as
f FLOWS: Starting from New York the
VJy age % London consumed fifteen days to
Marsellles, nineteen days; to Cairo, twenty
seven days; to Bombay, forty eight days;to
San Francisco, 119 days; to New York, af-
ter voyage around the world, 127 days.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26

"l've been fool" growled Harper as
he united a parcel in his front yard and
shook out new hammock :'Here I've
been looping around all through this infer
nal hot spell when might just as well
been swinging IN hammock and had my
blistered back cooled off by the breezes
Any one can put up hammock. All
you've got to do is TO unite about 800
knots, unravel about 500 snarls, and work
oyer the thing until you can tell whether the
open side was meant TO go up OF down
This puzzled Harper for full twenty min
utes, but he finally got it right and
taste ned the ends to two convenient
| trees.
Then he took OF his hat and coat and rolled
IN with a great sigh of relief. No he didn't
quite roll in. He was all ready to when
the hammock walked away from him. and
he rolled over on the grass and came to a
stop with croquet ball under the small of
his back
"Did you mean to do that!' called a
small boy who was looking over the fence
slowly chewing away on green apples,
''Did l? OF course | did, Git down offn
that fence or I'll call policeman
The boy slid down and Harper brought
up lawn chair for the next move. it's
the easiest thing in the world TO drop off
chair INTO hammock. Lots of men would
be willing 10 do il on a salary of ten dollars
per week. The trouble with Harper was
that he didn't drop all of his body at once
The upper half got into the hammock all
right, but the lower half kicked and
thrashed around ON the grass until the
small boy, who didn't mean to leave the
neighborhood until the show was out felt
called upon TO eXclaim.
''You can't turn handspring with your
head all wound up in that there ere net,
and I'll bet money on it,"
Harper suddenly rested from his labors
to rise up and shake his fist at the young
villain, but that didn't help the case bit.
He carefully looked the case over, and de-
cided that he had his plans too high. He
therefore lowered the net within two feet
of the ground, and he had it dead sure.
He fell INTO 1t as plump as bag of shot
going down well. He felt around to see if
he was all in, and then gave himsel swing.
No person can be happy in hammock un-
less the hammock has a pendulam motion.
This hammock of Harper's was just get
ting the regular saltwater swing when his
knots united and he came down on the
broad of his back with such jar that the
small boy felt called upon to observe:
''That amt no way to level a lawn
ou want to use regular roller"
After consciousness he crawled slowly
out, gently rubbed his back on an apple
tree, and slowly disappeared around the
corner of the house In search of some
weapon which would annihilate the ham
mock at one sweep, and though the boy
called upon him again and again, asking
if minstrel performance was TO follow
the regular show, Mr.. Harper never turned
his head nor made sign.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26

Reason and study of the laws of lightning
have done much to lessen the fear of 1t. Ii
is true we live between two magazines of
electriclty-one in the earth and the other
in the air-and cloud charged with elect
ricity passing over point or body in a
negative condition will discharge its sur
plus by the very quickest and most con
genial medium, which, 1t finds In the human
body, tree or house indifferently But it
is also true that, provide the lightning with
convenient and easy conductor in the
shape of a stout iron rod higher than any
point of house, and reaching well into
the ground, where electricity may scatter
har mlessly into the damp earth, it will pre-
fer that conducting rod to anything in its
vicinity, and people who stay indoors in a
| well-protected house are safer from light
ming than any bomb proof from bursting
shells. Every accident from this cause we
ever knew of came from careless exposure
in situations known to be unsafe. The first
| noticed after my own accident was that
of a missionary's daughter who was killed
while passing an open window Just as a
woman was on Long Island last simmer,
while sitting at her sewing-maC hine. A
young man in Maiden we think, was killed
while sitting on porch with his chair tip
ped back and his head against the knob of
door -Dell-wlre. Many men have been
struck while riding into barn on load of
hay. Many will remember the frightful
calamity at Scranton, Penn, where party
of women. out picking berries on one of
the high hills, crowded into q deserted log
hut In a sudden storm, and seven were kill
ed by one bolt. Steep hills with mineral
veins cropping out are not places for persons
TO live OF, who wish TO escape lightning, ard
unprotected houses there are doubly dan.
gerous.
1t is never too soon to go in the house
when storm is rising. When the clouds
are fully charged with electricity they are
most dangerous, and the fluid obeys a sub
tie attraction which acts at great distances
and in all directions. A woman told us of
a bolt which came down her mothers CHM
ney from rising cloud when the sun was
shining overhead. n. p. Willis writes of
young girl who was killed while passing
under a telegraph wire, en- the brow of
hill, while she was hurrying home before a
storm. The sad accident at Morrisania,
when two children were killed, should
warn every mother that it is not safe to let
children stay out of doors till the last min
ute before the storm falls. People should
not be fool-hardy about sitting on porches
or by open windows, whether the storm is
hard or not. Mild showers often carry a
single charge, which falls with deadly
effect. 1t may or may not be fatal to stay
out; it is safe to be in the house, with the
windows and doors closed. The dry air in
a house is a reader conductor than the
damp air outside, and any draught of air
invites it. A hot fire in a chimney attracts
it, SO to speak, and it is prudent for those
who would be sure of safety to use kerosene
or gas stoves in summer and avoid heating
the chimneys of the houses.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
A SOle-Stirring Incident.

1t is sentimental custom for young men
TO write their names, and something soft,
on the soles of the girls shoes. You cone
across couples in the angles of Railways in
the corners of verandas, and on the beach,
filling out these novel autograph albums.
The girl grasps omething-sometimes the
young mans shOulder-tO steady herself,
and coyly holds her foot bottom upward,
while he squats and tickles her sole with
the point of her pencil. This is not only
pleasing to the pair, but makes great sport
for the spectators.
The writing wears off in an evening Is
dancing, and the shoe is then ready for the
next fellow. The custom is encouraged
by girls with little feet. One who was not
SO fortunate stood in a Rowland House
corridor, Long Branch, gracefully posed
against the wall, with the spacious bottom
of her shoe spread out before an enamored
swain, who had his pencil thoughtfully
suspended. Her hardened brother came
along.
"Put on the Declaration of Independ.
ence, he said; 'there's room for it, with
all the signatures.
The girl took her foot away immediate.
ly, because she wanted to stamp with it.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
Whipping Children.

A parent who don't know how to govern
a child without whipping it, ought to sur
render the care of that child to some wiser
person. Sportsmen once thought it was
necessary to lash their dogs in training
them for the field. They now know that
the whip should never be used. Horsemen
once thought it was necessary to whip colts
to teach them to start or stop at the word,
and to pull steadily. They now know that
an apple is bOSG11Ar than the lash, and that
a caress is better than blow. If dog and
horses can be thus educated without pun
shment, what is there in our children
which makes it necessary to slap and pound
them? Have they less mtelligence9 Have
they colder hearts? Are they lower in the
scale of being2 Wehave heard many old
people say: If we were to bring up another
child we would never whip 1t. They are
wise, but little too late. Instead of God
doing so little for children that they must
be whipped into goodness, he has done so
much for them that even whipping can't
rule them--that is, as a rule. But, alas
there are many exceptions to- the rule.
many children are of such quality that
blow makes them cowardly, or reckless, or
permanently ugly. Whipping makes child
rem lie, makes them hate their parents,
makes home distasteful, makes boys run
away, and makes the girls seek happiness
anywhere and anyhow. Whipping is Lar
barous. Don't whip,
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26

look mt that ticket, and | know it's blank.
! should never buy another-neVer, never I!
You see, that dream-l told you once of
my dream-appeared as if II must come
true; but my luck is bad, | see that"
"Luckm cried Sally, stung by resent
ment. "Luck Oh, get out of my sight!
Pick up that ticket that you've spent my
last hard-earned pound on, and go where
can't see you for little while, dol"
I'm going, Sally" said Simon.
He stepped towards her as he spoke. He
would have kissed her if she had permit
ted him to do SO.
Then he picked up the yellow ticket,
read the number d-98S9-crammed
ii into his pocket, and sauntered away.
At six o'clock that evening there was a
little crowd beside the mill dam.
1t was fast increasing, for body had
been taken out of the water with pocket
handkerchief full of stones about the neck;
Simon Wheelers body.
He had drowned himself in less than
half an hour after he had walked so leis-
urely away from his injured Sally's pres
enCe.
They found i'll his pocket an empty
purse, little list of numbers, and yellow
ticket soaked through, but still bearing on
its surface the figures 1889.
Sally would have known what 1t was but
she never saw it, or the dead face that
looked into its marble whiteness like some
beautiful statue, for she lay upon her pill
low as white as he, with her little baby on
her bosom; and the three were buried to-
gether in the little churchyard at Pain
sted.
On the day of the funeral there was a
drawing of the Gumbo Lottery.
The manager of the enterprise shouted
the numbers of the capital prize; 1889 was
not among them. Its holder was not en-
titled to fifty thousand pounds.
But it made no difference. Simon
Wheeler lay beside his wife unconscious
of the drawing, and the yellow ticket had
long ago resolved itself into yellow sop
among the sedgy grasses by the mill-pond.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
Indians and Fireworks.

The Indian has hard time of it, alto
gether. An Idaho mining camp intending
to celebrate the Glorious Fourth in bang up
style, ordered heap of fireworks to be sent
to them. A whole wagon load went ON,
and while on its way was captured one
night by band of Indians. They didn't
exactly know what kind of property they
had got hold of, and proceeded to investi-
gate. The chief thought the cannon crack
ers were cigars and the little ones cigarettes,
which article he had seen In use at the var
ious camps he had visited, and he distri-
buted lot around, and they all lighted up
for smoke, ana pretty soon amore surpris-
ed and puzzled set of Indians never got to-
gether. The chief had cannon cracker,
and after the explosion it was three min
utes before he could get breath enough to
yell, and then the wild shrieks he gave
could be heard five miles away That
ended the smoking. Another buck fell off
the top Of the wagon with box of giant
torped)es, and the crash that greeted him
as he alIghted scared him so that he got up
and ran of at breakneck speed. A squaw
contrived TO get pin wheel afire, and as
she dropped it on the ground the natural
tendency of the thing to whirl around
made it go kiting along the ground like
wheel of fire, sending out a shower of
sparks and causing the affrighted lady to
scud away from it, with her eyes as big as
saucers, with terror. The pin-wheel got
under the wagon and ignited 1t, and the
Indian at first tired TO eXtinguished the
flames, and pretty soon a Roman candle
went off, and before the man who was hit
by the first ball on the nose could clap his
hand on the injured member, another ball
Caromed there and then third, and then
the rockets began to go off and hit the bucks
lit the legs and RIBS, and the different col
ored fires threw first red and then blue
light upon the scene, and the ''mines"
blew up and filled the air with kissing SER
pents and other things hOrrid to behold,
and more pin-wheels got loose, and when
a buck jumped to avoid pin-wheel he got
in the air just in time to be hit by rock
ct, and almost everybody got more or less
burned, and in about five minutes crowd
of the worst scared and most frantic In
dians the world ever saw was scurrying off
In the darkness across the prairie believing
with pain and fear. And the next load of
fireworks sent through that region won't
be meddled with by those Indians.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
Raising % W eaver,

Jojee was tramp, and hungry. Hap
pening to pass one day in village whert
the women were waIling, he noticed thu
preparation for funeral. Inhopes of get
ting something to eat. Jojee said TO the
relatives: "Would thou have the dead re
stored to life?' Then all the relatives said
"Yes, that would We"
place me, " said Jojee the tramp, 'in
| the room next to the dead man. Bring me
good cheer, so that I.may propitiate the
terminating angels. Most especially put
there a pot of the finest honey, three loaves
Of the whitest bread and flask of the pur-
est oil.
That the relatives did. Jojee, the
tramp, bid them retire. Jojee, the tramp,
| then eat until his appetite was satisfied.
Then he uttered many shrieks and howls.
The relatives waited long and patiently.
At length Jojee called in the people
Tell me-" asked Jojee ''wkat was the
exact calling of the dcceased?"
"a weaver was he by trade" the rela-
tives replied.
"a weaver" cried Jojee, the tramp.
''Why did you not tell me so There is
honey, bread and oil wasted. Had he been
4 tinker, tailor, or cobhler | might
have brought the dead man to life-but a
weaver. | never could do anything with a
weaver.'
She did not care to discuss the point
with the ignorant fellow, so. to conceal her
emotions, she once more let herself out on
the piano. The woods were filled with
music. The mocking bird wldstled as il
his throat would split, the cuckoo filled the
sylvan bowers with his repeated cry, while
ever and anon the mournful cooling OF
the dove interrupted the matin song of the
lark.
''There, now, guess you know what
that sounds like" she said, as she paused.
'1ou mean that tootle, tootle, tootle,
chug, chug?' You just bet l understand
that. Many time at picn;c I've heard
1t from the mouth of a demijohn or the
bunghole of a beer keg."
Her first impulse was to hurl the piano
stool at him, but it passed off, and once
more she went at the piano as if it was the
young mans head and was insured for
double its value. The thunder growled,
the lightning flashed from her eyes), and
the first feavy drops are heard upon the
leaves. She banged and mauled the keys
at fearful rate; peal after peal of deafen-
ing thunder perturbed the atmosphere and
re-echoed in still louder reverberations until
it wound up in one appalling clap as a
grand finale. Then, turning to the awe.
struck youth, she said
81 suppose you have heard something
like that before?"
eyes, that's what the fellow with linen
pants said when he sat on the custard
pie"
The audience found himself alone, but
he picked up his hat and sauntered out into
the street. densely unconscious that he had
said anything out of the way.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
1T MIGHT HAVE BEEN.

It might have been When life is Young
And hopes are bright and hearts are strong
To battle with the heartless throng,
When youth and age are far between,
Who hears the words so sadly sung
1t might have been
1t might have been When life is fair,
Youth stands beside the boundless sea
That ebbs and flows increasingly.
And dreams Of name and golden fame
And who shall limit the To Be
That's dawning there
1t might have been. When life is bright,
And love is in its golden prime,
Youth recks not Of tie coming night,
Nor dreams that there may be- time
When love will fail, or change, or die
Eternally
II might have been When time grows gray
And spring tides hopes have passed away,
Old age looks back on by-gone years
Their many wants and doubts and fears
And through the mist way is seen,
The might-have been
1t might have been When age so sad,
Weary of waiting for the fame
That, after all, is but a name.
When life has lost the charm it had,
True knowledge makes regret more keen
1t might have been
1t might have been When youth is dead,
And love that was so false ia fled,
When all the mockeries of the past
Have lost their tinsel rags at last,
The one true love ls clearly seen
That might have been
l; might have been All me All me
And who shall tell the misery
OF knowing ali that life has lost ?
BY thinking of the countless cost
Poor comfort can the sad heart CLEAN
1t might have been
1t might have been Nay, rather rest
what has been is best !
The life whose sun has not yet set
Can find no room for vain regret,
And only folly crowns rs queen
Its might-have-been.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
A Miracle OF Honesty,

AT party one evening several contested
the honor of having done the most extra
ordinary thing; areverend gentleman was
appointed judge of their respective preten-
tions. One produced his tailors bill with
a receipt attached to it. A buzz in the
room that this could not be outdone; when
a second proved that he had just arrested
his tailor for money lent him.
''The palm IS his, was a general cry,
when third put in his claim.
''Geptlemen," said he, 81 cannot boast
of the acts of my predecessors, for have
Just returned to the owners three lead pen
ellis and two umbrellas that were left at my
house"
''Pll hear no more" cried the astonished
arbitrator. 'This is the very acme OF
honesty, it is an act of virtue of which
never knew any one capable. The
prize"
''Hold," cried another, 81 have done
still more than that"
81 have been taking my paper fol
twenty years and always paid for it IN ad-
vance"
He took the prize.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
A Western w illness.

Conductor Heaton is one of the best boys
on the Kansas City, St. Joseph & Council
Bluffs Road, and is also one of the sharp
est. 1t is not very often a man gets ahead
of him as Pat Powers, of Holt county, has
probably fonnd out. Heaton was at Oregon
few days since on some trial connected
with the railroad company. Powers is an
attorney, was cross examining Heaton and
asked him if he would not naturally testify
in faver of the railroad company.
"NO," replied Heaton.
"You would testify for the railroad
rather than lose your position, wouldn't
your"
''No," said Heaton.
you'd like to be an angel, wouldn't
your sneered Powers.
NO"
"Why not 2"
Because, was the ready answer. 'Pm
afraidt the Lord would set me up as guardian
angel over some red headed lawyer from
Holt county and l couldn't stand that"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26

seems to make the paint adhere better to
the wood, as shown by experience. With
out going into the subject of oil paints the
author cautions the public against the
many new tangled and highly extolled
paints and substitutes. They are gener-
ally much dearer, he says, and at best are
only equal to ordinary linseed oil paint
made with equal care from well selected
pure material The chief effect of good
oil paint depends on the purity of the ma
terials used, especially of the oil and white
lead or zinc white, whether it Is finely
ground and thoroughly mixed, and the
paint carefully applied in good weather.
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26
Something out of the Way.

A young lady in the most exalted sOcia
circles of Galveston, after much toll and
practice at the piano, learned to play with
considerable dexterity a piece entitled
''Picnic Polka" 1t is something after the
style of the celebrated ''Battle of Prague, "
in which the listener can readily distinguish
the roar of the artillery, the rattle of mus
kerry, the shouts OF the soldiers, and the
groans of the dying. In the "Picnic Polka"
the noise of the wind among the trees and
the joyous carols Of the birds are repro
duced, the final being thunder shower
which disturbs the sylvan jewellers. 1t
happened that country cousin was in
town, and the young lady thought she
would play the piece to him and hear his
comment. He was plain simple-minded
youth, and although not very bright, was
very appreciative. She told what the piece
was and then proceeded to give him
the "Picnc Polka" The first notes are
rather slow and hesitating, the idea sought
to be conveyed being the solemn solitude
of forest through which the gentle zephy
(not heifer) sighs After she got through
with this preface, she asked him if he did
not almost imagine himself in lodge in
some vast wilderness. He replied that he
thought all that slowness meant the delay
in getting off. SAID he. There is al
ways some damned cusS who oversleeps
himself and keeps everybody else waiting. :"
Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-08-26

WASH FOR THE HANDs.-Four ounces
pulverized borax, four ounces each of
saleratus and muriate of ammonia; put
into a tin pan and pour in four quarts
of hot soft water; stiruntil well mixed,
bottle for use; after washing the hands
and face, wet with the above.