The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-02-12
FACTS AND PLNCIRs.
A drink for the sick-well water.
nn.inooa ~c,rnnlara ara NOT fnr lined.

This is leap year, tu' IooA ou' pei0i'
you leap.
How to get married in X.lent style
$40 to pay the minister.
Il like your impudcnce,' rs q pretty
girl said when her beau kissed her.
The fashion Of ladies' w%Aistcsats IL
supposed to have originated in GAl'vest-
on.
That's only a wedding trip sAidlthe
groom, as be stumbled over the brides
train.
Not lost, but gone BEFORE exclaimed
the man when his hat blew of and ahead
OF him.
Il never did like mutton with capers,'
Brown said, as he brushed his clothes,
after an attack from a ram.
mol Algernon dear, / say that the
boy shall not be brought up on the bot.
tie. Look at its grSndpa's noser
A Peoris woman sneesed her jaw out
OF place lately, and the married men Of
that place have been buying snuff ever
since.
Dan Rice having been converted, it il
hoped that the secret OF making circus
lemonade without using lemons will
finally be revealed.
The ladies think Eve was severely
punished for her transgression, from
the fact that she never appeared in a
nude dress afterward.
Dorabella Doolittle writes that upon
showing TO an expert furrier her sup
posed sealskln, he gave a Dick Deadeye
look at it and whispered 1t was the cat
When a man and woman are made
one, the question is, which oner
Sometimes there is a long struggle be-
tween them before the matter is set
tied.
1t is very difficult to find fault with a
dear little three-yesr.old who buries his
head under the clothes and sings; Now
1 lay me down to sleep, pop goes the
weasel
lis that a new dress or an old one
made over2' is the awful query every
lady asks herself when she sees another
woman walking along in a change OF
costume.
1t costs ninety cents to bring a barrel
OF -four from Chicago to Boston and
eighty to New York, seventy-six to
Philadelphia. and se~venty.four to
Baltimore.
Pampered tramp Ito charitable house
wife), What dyer call this ere. This
amt no SOUP It's bean soup Been
sCnpp Yes, and a precious long time
ago, too, 1 reckon
Dear Louise, don't let the men come
too near You when counting. oh, no,
dear ma. When Charles is here We al
ways have one chair between u.s.
Mother thinks the answer is rather am
biguous.
Never leave what you undertake
until you can reach your arms around
it and clinch your hands on the other
side, says a recently published book for
young men. Very good advice; but what
il she screams.
Every time the small boy looks at his
skates and thinks about the Maine
political troubles, he wonders how any
body can be such a fool as to quarrel
over politics in a place where they have
ice two feet thick.
A literary paragraph says the son Of
Abd-el Kader is engaged on the life of
his father. That is the way the oriental
chieftain usually departs this life, we
believe. Eldest son and heir apparent
helps him out of it.
A schoolboy being asked by his teach.
how he should fog him, replied:
If you please, sir, I should like to have
it on the italian system of penwanship
tho heavy strokes upward and the
downward ones light
An old farmer out in Indiana says,
that for his part he don't know where
the present rage for trimming bonnets
with birds is going to end, Only four
or five years ago he bought his daugh-
ter a humming bird next year she
wanted a robin, the next a pheasant,
and this season he declares be had to
chain up his Thanksgiving turkey or
she'd had that perched on top Of her
head.
They were talking of shooting, when
the minister, after some pretty tall
stories had been told, remarked, Once
1 had trial; out of fifteen shots / missed
one He waited until the crowd had
exhausted its compliments on his supe-
rior craftsmanship, when he gravely
aided, MY brother shot fourteen times,
and l shot once-and missed And he
smiled just as innocently as il he had
not accomplished anything particularly
worth speaking OF.
At a dramatic performance n ProVi-
dence the other night, The orchestra COM
menced TO play music from Pinafore.-
Immediately q policeman appeared in
a proscenium box, and, leyeling a us
ket at the leader, ordered him to desist
or die. The orchestra hurriedly tum-
bled through their door under the stage,
and the house nearly went wild. OF
course the affair was O joke. gotten up
by the music leader himself.