Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-12
THE AVERAGE YOUNG MIN.
BY ROBERT r. DOTY.


He is 81 at 16, and if he cannot call
his mother liar and show profound In
Mgnation to his father at this age he is
counted veritable failure in the face OF
the returns, and is accordingly disowned
by those who call themselves the noble
and high-minded; but if they would
only put it ignoble and snowy it would
signify much more.
The average young man of to-day does
actually do wonders that would amaze
an Indian juggler. or turn mad the
di1ainutive Lilliputs. This animal that
we are sketching has not cut his wisdom
teeth, for wherever he goes he is con-
tinually propoundmg a lot Of questions
and spouting o whole string of slang
phrases to fit in here and there, and in
this he rejoices that he is monarch and
prince of vulgarists
Be he ever so poor, there is never a
lack Of bombast and self conceit, coupled
with egotistical disregard for his supe-
riors. This disgusting character thinks
his knowledge infinite, and that he is
uncommonly sharp. But sound him to
the heart, and he would compare favor
ably with the Chinese rat-eaters, OR even
below. Then, they always imagine
themselves as possessing more natural
sound sense than their parents ever had
or ever will have.
Good old Mr.. Jones must not know
more than young, twaddling, blow
breath Jack Brightsop, who tries to
laugh at even mediocre knowledge,
while he does not know Saxon word
from one in the obsolete or dead Ian
guages, or know even one prominent ora
tor, novelist or poet in the world. Still
this character is always seen in society.
He has an affectation peculiarly notice
able, tries to be majestic, to tell jokes
on his uncle, and he is most apt to libel
some one because of success, while he
has made complete failure.
Weigh this fellow the very next time
you see him, and from the tenor of his
talk you will plainly see that this petty
grudge has come of the successes of 9TH
ers. He is envions He does not wish
to see or hear of others successes. This
is one characteristic that he can no more
do without than sensible man can of
the five senses. There always seems to
be great stock of newsiness about him,
for he is most apt to inquire of all the
little private transactions of other peo-
pie, and, ere anything has been done,
this self same young lunatic from the
haunts of egotism and profered wisdom
knows more about it than those who
have been eye-witnesses.
You can tell this busybody by the
twinkle of his eye. Dayy Squash viii
wink at Jim Axletree, and Jim Axletree
will follow that poisonous vegetable, and
1t will be L
As gabhing goose
ST. Or mad dog let loose. Z"
Then will follow an exhaustive rendi-
lion and complete resume of the horrible
history Of Miss Fairface, or something
concerning his would-be father-in-law
thwarting rival of his. Thus this most
despicable character Of society goes on !;
he never tries to improve on his natural
born traits.
These traits are a divinity to him-all
combined into oneness and for him to
relinquish them would be for him to
dwindle away and die This is the
character who is responsible for all the
damnation of his particular genera. He
it is that has no high and exalted opin-
ions of an intellectual life, but ten to
one he has become an imbecile on some
particular subject religious or political.
This Will most probably strike the
chord in the hearts Of many older persons
those who try to be shining lights in
the world but to the active and living
youth who is growing up, and will in a
short time certainly be representative
man in framing and shaping the course
Of a Government, we beg leave to warn
Them of the course pursued by many.
But. alas ! The COMPARISONS ara very
vast between the low and the noble.
Here, in free America, where schools are
everywhere, we see our youths idling
away their time, probably on the hunt,
at deal, or in some midnight bacchan-
allan revelry. Good books are plenty
and cheap-why not, young man, young
woman, be employed at the useful avo-
cation OF reading? But, NOT the aver
age young man does not wish to listen