The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-09-14

~9AlB
lconE AVID LET rs AiA scaArcH.t
The little Village Of Antwerp, New
York. contains sixty twO vidows.-Ex.
change.
No book agent OF sewing machine msn,
they say, ever goes into the place vithou,
coming out dead OF married..
-'Silenee in the eour'." Numbered .
Kentucky judge, the other morning, "haif
Dc Zen men have been convicted already
without the courts having been able TO
hesr cord Of the testim osy.-Courisr.
Journal.
Life is made up OF sunshine and shai-
Ows.--Josh Billings.
About Eve shsdOvs to one sunshine.
A, the Baltimore bsby--hov two
thirds OF those present were we'll known
old -pschelon.-Ex.
Well, We never yet saw a baby show
where st least hslf Of them were not ~ell
known bachelor. The other babies are
Usually veil known little girls.
We hear Of one mantle 6rst Of his
kind-vho loves to hear an organ grind.
HE name il Joaquin liller-s poet and a
funny ''ieller "-E1.
A miller always likes I, hear anything
grind. but this fellow IL Josq- uin.
-Ers Oates IA married Of fifteen.
Most people get MARI ed al hs'fPa~t
seven.
We see great many recipes $50 cure
hams" IL sin't often that hams.eet sick,
but Ne ssruck one in the last stages once.
On, that ham va awfui sick. They buried
him bat orr noe remembers him YET.
To remove forsien bodies t,om the
throat IN EnRii>h naval surgeon rscpm
oeusis blowing forcibly into the ear.
Perfectly. But do you suppoae a fel-
lows got an ear like IN elephants trunk
There amt but one or too men in Missouri
Who can wrap the d .p Of their ear around
their mouths and blow in it-one Of them
10 h. Martha Willisms, aad he never had
anything bat wind in his throat, any how.
THE Poor Old Tramp" Vas PLAYED st
. psrlor musical esterssinment in Detroit
the other evening. Blade.
But for that matter, poor OLD ,rAmps are
pretty veil played every where sbou,
now.
"A good article Of Sqoaw il quoted at
Ysnkton q 81 and blanket
The blanket would Be big price, let
alone s.. Bot then they could get along
without the money. for there il no
warmth in the vesl,h. The blanket would
keep .quaw from fressiny.
A land-l.dy says she does not know
hOW TO make both ends meet.
Simplest thing in the world, madam.
just ait right down on the carpet and pu,
yosr toe in your mouth.
-"Nsck end Neck" Of the opera house
to-nishs.-Ex.
Yes, confound il It's Neck and Neck"
II Our Boarding House." TO- night, too
A sirloin in three acts would be godsend,
while . roaring mince pie farce would
make us too happy.
"A female Blacksmith Of Pittsbura ha.
worked 1t the forge vi,b her husband nine
year,.
They were welded together, n il were
Why didn't she pot in another year and
serve her time out?
You can buy silk stockings. With lace
medaliions covering the inssep, in New
York. ior only $50 . pair.
Luxury, luxury. Until you c.a inven,
something subsssniial-such - front porch
Of spring steel, and rear vail Of boiler
iron il is no use to talk about art.
-Booh.n huys her pork At I've cents .
pound.
Where does Mr.. Bonham buy il?
-Thi'sy Tez,. newspaper have climb
ed tie eolde" s.slI within he lest year.
That's N Soy nothing Of sAose that we're
soaked down The back stairs while the
editor argued the silver question with the
editor ai The front door.
"A great many aaei-virtuous femsles
vent from Kansss City to sttesd the soda
lie Exposision.-Ksssas City Spy.
Well, everything he'd to Be represented
as the Expoaisios, and - premiums Of the
shove kind are not products Of sedalia,
they ssrsyed in from outside towns and
cities to Gil up The stock.
There's no,hing like having good ass
orsment Of evesyshins.
There il . man ct Keokuk, lows, BY
the name Of Gsudam.-Wehssef County
Democrat.
That would Be . nice nsme for deacon.
You would hear the minister cay from the
pulpit, "DeasOn 0suda0, you psss TIE
collection box" II Ne were in that iel-
lows place se would petition the circuit
court to have our GAud.m name changed
to something more reserentisl.
The Bride Of . Night.
Il 10 50 seldom that married people
tire Of each other q few hours after the
knot has been tied, that . divorce case,