Litchfield enquirer., 1880-07-15
CLIPPINGS.
The butcher who trusts loses flesh.

!
 The butcher who trusts loses flesh.
 The Jewish Gazette, a religious newspaper published in New York, is printed wholly in I Hebrew. <. Ft' l It has been discovered that burning the bunghole of kerosene barrel with 8 red-hot poker will cause the barrel to disappear.
 Scientists claim that smoking injures the eyesight. But thls is not true The boy with g stump in his mouth can see his father ten squares away.
 Various key-notes The bakers key note, dough the sailors key -note, sea the attor ney's keynote. law the egotist's keynote, me and the keynote of Sol, ray.
 A newspaper up the Hudson solemnly an- 1 neunces that the "Rev. MT. Greenvile and Rev. MT. Staats will exchange bullets next Sunday" Hens there was cons iderable mer- riment.
 Augustus Dabble (artist)-''Don't you think it is about time l, exhibited something ?" Severe critic (examining Dabbfe's latest pro 1 duction)-"Yes, little talent, for instance"
 In General B. F. Tracy's law office in Brooklyn placard is nailed up bearing the following words 'sThe Lord helps those who l help themselves to anything in this place" No man knows what he may come to yet. We have seen candidate for United States Senator walking in the mud with a political torch light procession while his hired man paid fifty cents for a window to see the show.
 Recorder (to withess with bandaged head) Did he have any provecatlon when he l struck you?'' Witness-'He may have had something of the kind concayled on his par son, but it was brick he struck me wid." | They were at dinner party, and he re- marked that he supposed she was fond of ethnology. She said she was but she was not very well, and the doctor had told her not to eat anything for desert but oranges. One of the managers of hospital asked an Irish nurse which he considered the most dangerous of the many cases then in the hospital ''TLat, sir," said Patrick, as he pointed to case of surgical instruments on the table.
 l A Kansas farmer found fourteen old hats six clothes lines, two straw beds, ten pie tins, | and an eight-day clock on his farm after a tornado, and he wants the owners to prove property and pay charges and take them away.
 A committee on tableaux at centennial
 
 asking Gall the pretty women in townp to meet at the hall to take part in the tableaux, and every woman in the place came to time. That committee knew how to get plenty of help.
 Excited Bates man (durng game. between Bates and Bowdoins) )-''Oh! dang! He had ought to went!" Young lady (overhearing, to sarcastic Bowdoin man)-'Is that Bates student ?" Bowdoin man-"No, Miss that is thelr professor of rhetoric"
 Young miner wants to know if we would advise him to go to Leadville or stay in New Jersey to dig for gold: Stay in New Jersey, my boy. You will find easier digging in the sand of that state than in Colorado rocks, and when you get tired of digging, you won't have to walk back three thousand miles.
 It was dinner-tme in select boarding house when the new boarder arrived. He was venerable looking gentleman, with sil- very hair, and his face beamed with sweet repose betokening pure and holy life: As he joined the table the landlady said "WOuld yon ask a blessing, sir?" The venerable stranger shouted, "You'll have to talk louder marm; I'm so d--d deaf" .g55 AT
 The other day census taker presents him. self at the house where all is confusion and several women are running to and fro with pieces of red fannel. camphor and the like
 Have you any chidren?" says the em- ployee to the agitated head of the house. hold.
 "l have two." replied the latter. "and-as it will save you the trouble of calling round again-if you will have the goodness of taking a seat for a moment, l will have three
 The review passed splendidly through all of the question: ''Who comforted Job ?" which was confidently put by the pastor and was fear lessly responded to by little bright-eyed girl in the assembly, whose raised and agitated hand expressed her anxiety to answer. The pastor'ss eye caught the jealous activity of his little scholar and pleased to gratify the child's desire, he said: We'll Oracle, speak upt oud now who was it comforted Jobs?" And the responce came clear and with sin. cerity: '.His sisters and his cousins and his aunts." l FROM THE DANBURY NEWS.
 The Connecticut potato is diminutive and unfrequent in the hlll.
 Some miscreaut threw a beer bottle through a window of a Stratford residence. The bot tie was empty, too.
 In view of the quarrelsome nature of New Preston that sore headed community should be called Phllipstown, in honor of Wendell.
 An ice-cream cart broke down in Ansonia. last week, and threw the cream into the street. Now every Aisonia man carries a spoon in his pocket
 Passengers on the Bridgeport steamer, Rosedale are drilled in the use of the life-pre- server, which adds nightly to the charm of the sail.
 In Goshen the experiment was imaste last week to raise a barn with lemonade, and it worked well. It must have been somewhat : stronger than the circus article. {8f .s = marriage notice was "put up' on a Stam- ford druggist, and he was kept busy dealing , out soda water to .congratulating friends. He kept record of the drinks and sent the bill to the author of the hoax.
 We learn from the Enquirer that Litchfield has the reputation of being ''the noisest place ? in the Union on the Fourth of July" This I will astonsh many people who have not been i in Litchfield since the Shepaug railroad open !, ed.
 7 MT. Flynn, of Birmingham, had his wife 3 arrested for drunkenness, Sunday night, and 1t cost her $l9 to get out of 1t. This so elated him that he went of and got drunk himself, '. and the next night had Eis own fines to pay. ! He is now looking around for some other means of recreation. t An elderly gentleman returning from a drive with an elderly lady, begged the pleas r. ure of a goodnight kiss, and the latter was Q offering the tempting morsel and the former . was reaching out to scoop it in, when the 7 horse ran away, and the elderly gentleman was obliged to leave the ecstacy unplucked 5 and put after the fleeing horse with all his , might. Thus does Bridgeport crush out the holiest feelings in the human breast.