The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-09-30

mntr1mOny or OF foreign travel? Each
occupant of the room was engaged in
an exercise wholly unconnected. as it
seemed, with those of the rest. NY
friends wife, the lady whom 1 had al
most loved, queen of all grace and come
hness, was appearing and disappearing
like fash behind the days Times,
showing at the moments of disclosure a
face flushed with excitement, and lust
rous coils of hair tumbled into the Wild
est disorder, while she accompanied the
whole performance with strange and in
articulate sounds. Her mother, the
same Mrs. Hanway, who was so perfect
a model of dress and carriage that many
Of her lady friends were wont to lament
among themselves that she gave herself
such airs, was seated on the floor dressed
for walking but without her bonnet.
Yes, she was certainly drumming on an
inverted tea-tray with the wrong end of
the poker. And the philosopher 1t
was perplexing, after three years separa-
ton, to meet him thus. The plfiloso-
pher was cantering round the room on
nh-fours, wearing on his head his own
waste-paper basket. Briskly he cantered
round, ever and anon frisking like a
lamb In spring time, until he reached my
feet, which were rooted to the spot with
astonishment. He glanced up sideways.
rose with a cry to the normal attitude of
man, and grasped me by the hand. At
the sound of his voice his wife, dropping
the paper from her hands raised them
quickly to her hair; and his mother-in-
aw, with as much dignity as the effor
would allow, scrambled on to her feet.
Then, in an instant, the cause of their
eccentric conduct was made clear.
Throned upon the hearthrug, and show
ing by a gracious smile few of the new
est teeth, sat fine baby of some fifteen
months. In one dimpled fist was tightly
clinched the brush which had so neatly
arranged the mothers braids, while the
other was engaged in expounding the
grandmother's best bonnet into shape
less mass.
We were all somewhat embarrassed, ex-
cept the baby. The ladies knew that
they were untidy, and that was an in
truder. As for the learned father, he
stood now ON one leg and now on the
other, while he shifted the waste paper
basket from hand to hand, and continued
to smile almost as perseveringly as his
amiable offspring. Yet it was he who
at last put an end to our awkward posi-
ton by expressing wild desire to have
my opinion of the new curtains in his
study. Rather sheepishly said good
bye to the lady Of the house, trying to
express by my eyes that would never
call again unannOunced. Iknew that Mrs.
Hanway had not forgiven me, as hum
bly, took the two fingers which she
offered; and / felt like brute, as the
most important member of the family
condescended to leave a damp spot by
the edge of my left whisker
When, however, had been swept
down stairs by my impulsive friend, and
was alone with him in his den, my cour-
aged returned, and with it some indigna-
ton. 1 confronted him, and sternly
asked why had not been told that he
was father. Not been told?" echoed
he. "Do you mean to say that you did
not know about the baby ?"
"Not so much as that it was,'' 1 re-
piled gloomily.
He was overwhelmed; of course he
had supposed that every one knew it,
from the queen downward. Of course
fifty people ought to have told me, who
Of course had told me everything else.
At last my curiosity got the better of my
Indignation, and cut short his apologies
by beginning my questions
"Does the shape of the head content
you? p asked.
.'The shape of whose what p cried the
philosopher, apparently too surprised for
grammar.
"Of the baby's head of course" I re-
piled tartly 81 merely wish to know
If the child is likely to be as intellectual
as You hoped"
Isn't the hair lovely9" he asked in
consequentially.
This was too much, and assuming my
severest manner, I delivered myself in
this wise II thought, though no doubt
was wrong, that the use of kaby to
you would be partly to furnish you with
raw material for philosopher, partly to
enable you by constant observation to
gain further evidence bearing on such
vexed questions as whether the infant
gains its ideas of space by feeling about,
whether it is conscious of itself, etc. -
"Well," said he laughing, 81 don't
expect much help from my infant in
those matters, unless 1 can get inside
her and think her thoughts.
"Her thoughts ?" cried I in amaze
ment "you don't mean to saw it's a
girl? Good gracious, you are not going
to educate a female philosopher %
He looked rather vexed. "Of course
it's girl, he said.
"The father of female philosopher, "
gasped.
"Dear me p said he, somewhat test
ily; "isn't it enough to be father of a
noble woman p
Now 1 have often put up with great
deal from my learned friend, and I am
quite aware that I have been spoken Of
as "Bozzy" behind my back. But
there is turning point even for the
worm, and nobody will sit forever at the
feet which are constantly kicking him.
had been snubbed more than once by
this illogical parent, and assuming my
most sarcastic manner, / inquired, with
an appearance of Difference" Is it moi
rather early to speak of your daughter
as n noble woman ?''
| mot at all said the PHILOSOPHER.
| 1 had kept aloof from the philosopher
for some weeks, nursing my wrath, like
Achilles, 1 said to myself-cross as a
bear, overheard my landlady say in the
passage-when received q hasty note
begging me to come to him at once. ]
fancied myself summoned to council of
chiefs so, having donned my shining
armor, 1 left my tent with fitting dignity
and descended with clang into the
plain. Yet could not but be aware o.
my landlady's eye piercing me through
the crack of the parlor door, purposely
left ajar, and of the hasty Tapping o.
loose slippers, which told of the startled
slavey's fight into the abyss below.
An unusual silence held my friends
house that morning. The door was
opened before / had time to ring, by a
melancholy footman, who, walking be,
fore me with elaborate delicacy Of an
Agag, noiselessly ushered me into the
study. 1t was my lot to be again rooted
10 the spot with amazement. BY book.
case, in n shaded corner of the room with
his head bowed low upon his hands
knelt the philosopher Here was lone
step from the seige of Troy, from the
l n n.