davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
MISS FLYNN's LOVER.
Successfully Combining Counting With
the Study Of Medicine.
TROY IN. " Times.l

Troy IN. Y.) Times.l
Miss Mary Flynn was studying metli
cine and being courted at the same
time. Mr.. William Budd was attend
ing to the latter part of the business.
One evening while they were sitting
together in the parlor Mr.. Budd was
thinking how he should manage to
propose. Miss Flynn was explaining
certain physiological facts to him.
ado you Know" she said, ssthat
thousands of persons are actually igno-
rant that they smell with their olfacto-
ry peduncle ?"
"Millions of 'em," replied Mr.. Budd.
"And Aunt Mary wouldn't believe
me when told her she couldn't wink
without spincter muscle!"
"How unreasonable -
"Why, a person cannot kiss without
a spincter
"Indeed?"
"I know it is SOY"
"May l try if can?"
.Oh, Mr.. Budd, it is TO bad for you
to make light of such a subject"
Then he tried it, and while he held
her hand she explained to him about
the muscles of that portion of the
human body.
ssIt is remarkable how much you
know about those things" said Mr..
Budd-ssreally wonderful. Now, for
example, what is the bone at the back
of the head called :''
"Why, the occipital bone, of course -
ssAnd what are the names of the
muscles of the arm ?''
ssThe spiralis and the infra-spiralis,
among Others"
"Well, now, let me show you what
mean. When I put my ra-spiralis
around your waist, so, is it your occipi'
tai bone that rests upon my shoulder
blade in this way?''
"My back hair, primarily, but the
occipital bone, of course, afterward.
But, Oh, Mr.. Budd, suppose pa should
come in and see us -
HI4et him come! Who cares ?' said
Mr.. Budd, boldly. 81 think I'll ex.
ercise spincter and take a kiss.''
"Mr. Budd, how can you?' said
| Miss Flynn, after he had performed
the feat.
"Don't call me Mr.. Budd; call mt
Willic," he said, drawing her closer
"You accept me, don't you? 1 know
you do, darling"
"Willie," whispered Miss Flynn
very family.
"What, darling" ?"
"I can hear your heart beat"
ssIt beats only for you, my angel"
| oAnd it sounds out of order. Th'
vcntricular contraction is not uni
| form"
ssSmall wonder for that when it,
bursting for jOy.''
"You must put yourself under treat
mcnt for it. 1 will give you some
mcdicinc."
ats your own property, darling; dt
what you like with it. But somehow
tho spincter operation is one tha
strikes me most favornbly. Let IL
| again see how it works."
But why proceed: The old, ole
| story!
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
Dentist ry.

NH. s. l.. BR.\CEY, Dentist, respectfully
offers his professional services to the
citizens of Monroe and surrounding CCJIn-
try. Having experience OF fourteen
wears in the practice, he feels confident Of
ing sat faction in all branches of his
Is willing to warrant all work
Office ut residence on Jackson street, near
the Female Academy, Monroe. La.
v7-narl6.ly
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
c. j. ROATNER. NJ. !.
HsOnlMer IL I-islaIcll.

1 TrOtNEYS AND DCOUNSFLIORS AT
n Law, Monroe, La, will practice in all
the Parishes of North Louisiana, in tho
supreme Court ut Monroe, the Federal
Courts, and i'll the Land Office department
at the General Government.
Office fronting northeast corner OF public
square. january ), 1879.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
ADVERTISING REGULATIONS

ADVERTISING REG GULATIONS.
Transient advertisements must be paid
for il, Uticttnce.
All advertisements sont to this office
when not otherwise ordered, will be in
sorted "till forbid'' and charged accoriingly.
Editorial business notices will be made,
free of charge, of all advertisements ordered
i'll the paper; for other editorial notices !,
charge of25 cents per line will be made.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

Prof. Swift, astronomer of tho War
ncr Observatory, at Rochester, N. y,
discovered another large comet on the
evening of October 10. Tho fact was
noted In tho associated press dispatches,
but some important and interesting de-
tails which could not be tclegraphcd
are herewith given. The new celestial
visitor is in the Constellation of Peg
asus,right ascension, twenty-one hours,
thirty minutes, leclinatlon north seven
teen degrees, thirty minutes. It's rate
OF motion is quite slow, being In n
northwesterly direction, SO that 1t Is
approaching the sun. 1t has very
strong condensation on one side of the
centre, in addition to star-likc nucle-
us, which indicates that it IS throwing
Off an extended tail. From the fact OF
its itscxtraordinnry size, we are warranted
In prcsuming that it will be very bril-
liant, and the additional fact that ii Is
coming almost directly toward the
earth, gives good promise that IL Will
be one of the most remarkable comets
of the present century.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

In 1910 Porter, Democratic candidate
for Governor, carried Pennsylvania by
5000 majority. In November of the
same year Harrison, for President,
carried the State by 343 majority. In
1872 Hendricks, for Governor, carried
Indiana; in November of the same
year Grant, for President, carried il
1t will be observed that October does
not always indicate the vote of No
vember.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
JAMES II. STEeOTIIElk,

A TrORNEY AT LAW, Monroe La.
n. Will practice law in North Louisiana,
before tho Supreme Court at Monroe, Fed
eral Courts of Louisiana, Court of Claims,
and Supreme Court of the United States ut
Washington City.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
ESTUHBS. TALBOT SrILLMAN'
SluDlpS n Stil1sll,sm,

4 TTORNEYS AT LAW. Monroe, La,
n will practice in tho Parishes O!
Oituchitm, lf0,'cho',sc, hichIna'd "nH Frnahii',
and in tho Federal Courts. VIII take
claims for collection in all other parishes in
Louisiana, with privilege of managing
emc in connection with attorneys residing
,hcrc. March Z, 1879. Iy
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

Richardson. NIcEncry ~ Young.

A TrORNEYS AT LAW, Monroe, La,
N will practice i'll all the parishes OF
North Louisiana, the Supreme Court of the
State, the Federal Courts, and in tho Land
Office Department OF the General Govorn-
nient. January H. 1879.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
.InlnlA n. Dilll<y

ATTORNEY AT LAW, MONROE, LA.
II Oilicc opposite Court House. Practices
in ali tho Courts of North Louisiana also
in the Supreme Court of tho Statc and the
Federal Courts. All claims, including cot
ton claims, will receive prompt attention.
Land Oni:c and Pension matters attended
to. March -, 1879.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

a special dispatch from Sleepy Eye,
Minnesota, TO tho Pioneer Press says:
A family of cmigrants, consisting of
'onc man and two women, was found
frozen to death about six miles from
Springfield, In this county, yesterday,
from camping out III the late storm.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

Cards of a personal characterization adj
missiblo-will be charged double our regu-
lar advert Using rates.
obituary and Marriage notices will be
charged as advertisements.
Any person sending us five new cash sub
scri bers, at the same post-oilico, will bc en-
titled to copy of TIE TELEGRApI graf is
for one year.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

The Philadelphia News sagcly OBJ
serves: "Nothing so takes the conceit
out of the average man as To order hi.
paper discontinued and then see the
editor going right along and getting
rich without him.n
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
JOHN C.\I.DE.IiwOOD.

Practitioners in Medicine and Surgery.
Onice ON Grand street, in rear of q. w.
McEccS Drug store, and opposite J. w.
Smiths carriage shop.
January %. 1850 n2O:lv
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
&. II. TrOuSSlNIc.

A TTORNEY e COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
n. MONROE, La,
Will practice in tho Courts of tho Fifth
Judicial District and in the Supreme Court
ut Monroe. COLLECTIONS promptly attended
to. Aug. 20, 1850.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
Dr. Il. H. Richardson

=" AS resumed the practice of Medicine.
III He may be found, when not profess
Siouilly engaged, at Moorc'S druc: store
during the day, and ut his residence at ali
other hours. Monroe, Feb. Is, lSTn.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

10 win Il bet that you can name a
city in the United State of over $4,000
inhabitants that Will not cast 300 votes
for one or the other of the Presidential
candidates, choose Washington, which
has no vote at all.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
.DOSGsela T.. Johnston.

4 TrORNEY AT LAW, MONROE, LA.
N will practice in all the Courts OF
North Louisiana, and in tho Supreme
Court Of the State.
January 2j, 1879.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
1929.
+ Boston Post.


Mr.. "A. G. Chase, an ice merchant,
temporarily in Gardiner, Me-, has
been arrested, charged with dcfacing
private property. He was detected in
the act of chalking "329' upon the
window shutters of a jewelry shop be-
longing to well-known Republican
of Gardiner. Mr.. Chase was arraigned
before the learned Magistrate of the
Police Court, and the trial was attend
cd by large number of curious people.
The attorney for the respondent took
advantage of the presence of Il good
number of pious Republicans and in
explaining the meaning of the cabalistic
figures, gave avery interesting account
Of candidate Garficld's connection with
the great scandal of the nineteenth
century. Even the Magistrate, Il Re-
publican, learned some truths about
his candidates career which he had not
known, and which must have shaken
his confidence in that great adjunct of
society - Christian statesmen. After
learned arguments by lawyers who
rather enjoyed the fun which "329'
had produced, and by lawyers who
didn't, the Magistrate announced that
he was stuck, and must reserve his de-
cision. He could not satisfy his own
mind as to whether or not Il shutter
was a "fXture' within the meaning of
the statute. The case was therefore
postponed, and gentlemen worth six
millions of dollars stepped forward,
Offering to furnish whatever amount of
bail was required. The Magistrate .po-
litely remarked that 1929 was all that
was necessary, and that amount was
promptly furnished. Mr.. Chase says
in case the Magistrate should decide
that shutter is s'iXture," he shall
appeal to a higher court, and will keep
on appealing, even if he has to do so
329 times.
st. Louis Republican,: The st. Louis
contingent of the black army that
brought devastation and woe to the
Indiana Democracy on Tuesday have
nearly all returned. Careful estimates
made by good judges in this city, who
are in a position to calculate intclli-
gently, put the number OF st. Louis
negroes who went to Indiana to vote
at eighteen hundred. y NObody knows
how many times they voted, but there
is no manner Of doubt that they voted
just as often as they got the chance,
and now, being in good practice, near
TO do the same sort of vigorous voting
| in st. Louis next month.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
John II. Labelling.

A III OitNEY AT LAW, Monroe, La, will
II practice in tho State and Federal Courts
in Louisiana, and in tho Supreme Court at
Washington City. II
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
HI. IL. Russell.

A TTORNEY & COUNSELLOR AT LAW,
II MONROE, LA.
viii practice in tho Parishes OF tho Eft II
Judicial Dist rict and i'll the Supreme Court
ut Monroe. Collection OF claims promptly v
attended to. Aug. 20, lSS0.-ly.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
MORE PEARLS OF THOUGHT.
[From the Chicago Tribune ]

[Fron the Chicago Tribune.]
Tho Tribune has long admired the
plan adopted by the New York Post of
publishing every now and then the
bricfcst and best uttcranccs of the
worlds master minds under the head
ing, sI'carls of Thought" and adopts
the idea in the full belief that it's read
ers will be made better thereby. Our
first necklace of pearls has been secured
direct from the manufacturers ut great
expense, and is IS follows:
Always be kind to the poor man. lie
may stop his dray from running over
you some days. d. ITitlc,,.
Many men think too much of sclf-in-
tcrcst. Ten per cent. always did we'll
enough for mc.--T. III. English.
1T is better to have gone in 2:li than
never to have trOttcd ut all.-f'Oh'sniM
I!oid.
Heaven helps him who helps him
self. That il wrong UI/inW M.
Trccd.
Wives Of great men oft remind us
We may make our wives sublime.
Forty dollars for n bonnet
Knocks Il check book out of time.
--Lo"afe'io".
Always buy your mules in the fall
CHui1w,,u B0s2ut,n.
Industry always has the polc.-C. A..
D0n0.
You will never miss the water till
the bottle runs dry.-I}r,uy Uut/crSOn.
Always trot the first quarter slowly.
-Mtnd $.
Mover try TO get rich too rapidly.
You may cut Il coupon 80 that 1t will
not be rcdecmcd.-W. III. tun,1rrbW.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

The Boston Herald reminds the Re
publican jubilee singers that the tough
old Democratic party has an ugly habit
of not knowing when it Il whipped.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

Aaron Spears, a colored man, and u
tenant of Joseph NJ. Young, living six
miles north of Clinton, has made the
present season, singlc-handcd, thirteen
bales of cotton, two hundred bushels OF
corn, one hundred bushels potatoes, n
good lot of fodder, and fine crop of
peas, now being gathered. He has
ginncd and sold ten bales, and still has
for market yet, three bales, and ton
or more Of good hay. His garden has
also been fruitful. Mr.. Young gives
this information, and thinks 1t is quite
~ fair a crop as could be made In
Kansas, by black or white CLINTON
| Ftotchu.uia.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29
a. A. GUNHf.
Cobb & GUnby,

A TTORNEYS AT LAW, MONROE, LA.
~ Jan. =, 1879.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

The House of Representatives now
stands: Republicans, 13O; Democrats,
149; Republican Nationals, D; Demo-
cratic Nationals, I; Nationals, 2; to-
tai, 293. The Democrats have major
ity of ~ over the Republicans, and .
over all. The New York World Is OF
the opinion that no moro Democratic
congressman will he lost, but thai
gains will be made, thus keeping the
House Democratic bya close but pal
pablc majority.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-10-29

TARIFF OF ADVERTISING; RATES.
Aiver! iscments will be inserted at one
dollar and fifty cents por square zone inch
nt space or leSs) for tho first, and seventy
live cents for each subsequent insertion, for
any time under one month. For longer
periods follows:
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-05-29
school BOARD.

DR.. Wright's proposition for abol-
ishing the ninth and tenth grades
was rejected at the meeting of last
Tuesday. The superintendent, af-
ter REORGANIZATION of the subject,
expressed his belief that these two
grades could be taught without in
creasing the present teaching force,
and offered a scheme for the studies
of the two classes, teaching some of
them to the two classes united, to
show how this could be effected.
So the organization of the school
will remain unaltered.
The following rule was adopted
as substitute to the present one re-
lating TO the attendance of pupils
School Report of 1879, p. 49,:
IL. Sickness OF the pupil, neces-
sary attendance upon sick men,
Der of the family, death in the FAM
lily, or some equally pressing occa-
sion, of which the superintendent
SNAIL De ine JuuSe, SIldl1 DC TeSdfueu
as the only legitimate causes for abb
Sence.
u. Pupils who are absent more
than two days in any four consecu-
tive weeks, except for causes above
specified, shall be suspended, and
re-admitted only by action Of the
board.
Judge Keesee and DIR. Wright
were appointed a committee to CO.
operate with the superintendent in
compiling the annual report of the
superintendent.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-05-29
DEATH OF THE HON. HENRY :.
FDOTE

The death OF this distinguished
politician occurred at Nashville last
week from erysipelas of the scalp,
caused by injury with rusty nail.
Gov. Foote commenced political
life in Mississippi, of which state he
was twice elected governor, and
against Jefferson Davis as an antag-
onist. He was afterwards known
in the politics of this state. He
was a man of high scholarship and
of great eloquence, his strong point
being vehement invective. His POI
litical ideas were acquired at time
when politics was rather a passion
than a principle, and his associations
were dictated rather by personal
impressions than settled principles.
The career of such a man is rarely
marked by consistency or stanch
adhesion to party, and in fact Gov.
Foote has been associated with
almost every party or section of a
party which has originated within
the last forty years. Apart from
political matters, his great intellect
ual activity rendered him delight
full associate, and many warm per-
sonal friends lament his death.
"After Iife's ftful fever he sleeps well.''
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-05-29
Tribute OF Respect.

Again the king of terrors has stricken
from our midst one more of our noblest and
best lady acquaintances-Mrs. Mamie D.
Waltman, the wife of our distinguished DR.
Joseph Mailman, and daughter of Mr.. ]. G..
johnson, of Montgomery county, Tenn, is
gone. No more will we behold her cheerful
and smiling countenance, no more will her
beloved voice be heard. Angels have come
in unawares and borne her away on flow
cry beds of ease to that spirit-land to await
the reward promised to all of Gods people
who love and serve him, he "who chasten-
eth whomsoever he. will" Mrs. Waltman
died on Monday evening, May 10. She
leaves an infant babe only "a hours old, who
win never know the love and caresses of a
fond and loving mother, also a husband
who has and deserves the heartfelt sympa-
thies of the community and all who know
him. How little do we, who are in the
prime of life and bloom of youth think how
soon either one of us Will be called upon to
pay the debt that Mrs. Mailman, the loving
idol, has paid. Yes. she was the beloved
idol of the community in which she lived.
She is gone. How, soon the buds put forth
their beautiful ornaments and fade away,
and their fragrance exhales no more; our
suddenly passes away forever. Farewell,
kind friend, may we all who desire to be &C.
counted worthy to meet thee in that land
of bliss, where there is no more weeping,
nor sorrow, nor the dread of the sting of
that awful king of terrors, enjoy everlasting
peace and happiness to all eternity. 1t re-
ally seems that death loves a beautiful and
shining mark, however beautiful in form
and feature, or healthy in the warm vitality
OF a useful, active, and lovely life. The very
atmosphere that our loved ones tnhale is
loaded with the foundations of disease and
destruction, and at an hour when we least
expect it, the beloved idols of our hearts are
snatched away from us by the cruel des-
trOyer of all joy and domestic bliss. Her
memory shall ever linger around the hearts
of her friends as fragrant incense that can |
not be washed away by the tears of either |
joy or sorrow. ]. E. ELLIS.
Massack P. o., Christian county, KY,
May q, 1880.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-05-29
BROKEN PLEDGE.

The democratic party in 1876 put
forward list of reforms it meant to
insist on, and foremost among them
was revenue reform. That pledge
remains unfultilled except through
Mr.. McKenzie's bill for the repeal
of the duty on quinine, and that
was carried partly by republican
votes against the persistent opposi-
ton of the same knot of tariff dem
ocrats as has been opposing the con-
sideration of all propositions for
reformation of the tariff throughout
theexistence of the present congress.
This trifing with its solemn and
recorded engagements will be the
heaviest weight which the party
will have to carry in the approach
ing election because it will be a
burden self-impOsed. All the force
of federal patronage and electoral
supervision which the republican
party will WELD against us will not
be so efficient to embarrass our
party as our own dereliction from
the principles we have laid down,
because for the former the republican
party has made itself responsible
and will have to suffer the Obloquy
attached to them, while the latter
has been brought about by men
recognized as democrats. The re-
publican party could not have de-
feated the fiscal policy to which the
democracy is pledged had it not had
democratic aid in doing so.
1t has not been for want of repeat
ed efforts on the part of the best
men in the party that this unfortu-
nate state of things has been brought
about, nor for want of support from
the great body of the party. 1t is
by the exercise of the vast and ire
sponsible power vested in the
speaker through the prerogative of
committees and pre-
scribing the order of business in the
house that the democratic delegation
in the house has been bound and |
and every measure looking
to fiscal reform has been referred to
the committee ON ways and means
and so strangled by its chairman,
Fernando Woods, aided by the
and democratic members
with which that committee is
packed, or placed on the calendar
Of the house and so commended to
the. tender mercies of the speaker.
And who is the man who has
brought about this state of things,
who has strangled the efforts of the
democracy to carry out its princi-
pies? 1t is Samuel j. Randall, and
samuel J. Randall is the head man
iger of the Tilden interest, both in
and in the United
States, and the residuary legatee of
he Tilden influence when Tilden
himself shall have withdrawn from
he conflict.
Mo- only so, but it is in the inter-
Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-05-29

est of the Tilden combination that
this very policy has been carried
out. What is the parrot-cry of those
who desire to rule or ruin the DEM
ocratic party in the interest of Til
den? "There is no issue left for the
democratic party except the electo-
raj fraud of 1876" That is their
cry, and it has been their effort for
four yearsIto suppress all other issues
that they may get up this cry, to
paralyze the party as regards all
principles in order that its issues
may be purely personal and may be
reduced to the one question of Til
denism.
Thank God the party has princi-
piles, if they have been strangled by
the intrigues of Randall & Co. with
the democratic party, and they can
be asserted; but if the fraud of 1876
is to be the only issue, then is Mr..
Tilden the only candidate on the
democratic side who is powerful
under that issue? As soon as his
supporters talk about electoral fraud,
up come the Pelton dispatches offer
ing thousands to republican electors
in Louisiana and Oregon, and the
world has to be convinced that Pei
ton by himself made these offers,
without a dollar in his pocket to
carry them out with.
But we repeat the party has other
issues, and they will beasserted and
maintained, and one of the indis-
pensable methods for maintaining
them is to take care that Samuel j..
Randall shall never again be placed
by democratic votes in a position to
choke them off.