davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

There is a good deal of interest
ing conversation going Oh over the
telephone wires, II you have the
machine open and listen. The
mesnsgs of a fond mother whose
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

mo matter how ill-tempered or
resentful the ship may be on her
voyage" said old Capt. Crosstree,
"she always drops her rancor when
she comes into port"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

When a Cincinnati man speaks
of the production of his pen, you
never know whether he is liter
airy Teller or a hog raiser.-Boston
Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
oHeartloss disrespoct for peasant

"Heartless disrespoct for peasant
pleasantly. Rural pos.man: "Glad
to see you down ere sgin, Mr..
Jones. Hive got a letter for yer
young lady, ! think. Fine gal,
amt shel Drink yer 'e'lth sir
Glad to see you alive still, cir.
Jones (who doe5 not appreciate
gentle country familisrities): "Pn
quite alive, Muggins hand ovei
the letters, or you may hnd In
kicking as well."-Fup.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

"Ah," said a deaf man who had
scolding wife, imam wants but
little hear below. Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

The policeman who arrests a
young female thief makes par
donable mistake, Philadelphia
Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

al am satisfied with my lot"
said a real estate owner, who held
a piece of city ground worth about
$4,000 a foot.-Steubenville Her
aid
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

What is the first thing to be
dono in case of frel" asked Prof.
Stearns. "Sue the insurance COM
pany," promptly answered boy,
whose father had been burned out
once or twice.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

A religious body having resolv-
ed to build a new church, the pas
tor went about begging very zeal
ously, accepting not only the wild
ow's but the child's mite. In the
SundaSt school few days after
wards, while instructing the child
rem, he compared himself to .
shepherd, and then inquired what
tho latter did with his flock. One
bright eyed little fellow promptly
renlied: "He shears them"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

1t is said that Patti is fond of
billiards. She got used to the cue
on the stage, we suppose.'-Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

The dealer in salt must have a
precarious time of it. The salt
cellar, you know, is always getting
overturned d.--Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

Why not call hanging q neck
secution l-Whitehall Times
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

Has it ever occurred to base
ball men that milk pitcher Ia gem
orally a good hy-catcher. New
York Express.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

81 can't go to Europe" a lady
is reported to have said: 81 an
reading forty-fve continued stories'
aud my limited means would not
let me pay the postage"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

A man who opens oysters doe1
things by halves.-Boston GioOe.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
WIT AND HUMOR.

Jones is small his wife Is tall,
And both sro full OF gTlttlei
Gays he 10 har "You dress too much l'
saws che: "You dress too littls"
Philadelphis Item.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
oolNu SOUTH.

tFag stations. .,.,.
N1gSt expres, in both directions has wasneas
.tS,., - -, car attached to and from Saginaw ano
Bay City and Detroit. cr pApRoN.
D. H. tALLa aarn wi snnt QenI Pass Agt
" w HEkFFORD, Travelling Agent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

There is one thousand, eight hun
drsd and Serty yards 10 an acre
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
nzrCAIrION.-xs

Rowan, of limitations See that The name u J
". Kiusmsn ia IN the glass Of the bottle
sold by druggists and dealers. Price, loes cSe
and 75c. f''gi
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
Gold:

go ~ Grca, chance % make money. We
NEkE kk need person in every town u
sTktNs. take subscriptions tor the larges,-
UVA&R cheapest and best illustrated fam
ilv publication IN the world. ANY one can peeome
Il successful agent. SlN elegant works OK srt SlN
On f-ea to subscribers. Tho prce is 70 low tnat
slmo. everybody subscribes, One agent reports
taEi- o subscriptions in day. a lady agent
report b. sing over 800 clear pro,t n osn usys
All XIV, .r-sEC make money fast You can devote
an v6r- rrr. 10 the business, or only your spare
tinnc. SON aeed not be away from rome oVei
mont You can do IL IS well vs. Others. fuil are,
uons and terms Tree. Elegant and shpensiVe " gu.
address al once II costs nothing % try tho ouhl'
ness. No ona who engages fails 70 make treat pa
/ Address George Stinson Co, Portlsnd' Ne lao
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
Northwestern Grand Trunk
R. R.
Formerly Chicago & Lake Huron
Condensed Timetable
san,enber 2sth, 1879.

ACCOMMODATION trains loavo Lapeor, cast, l:oe
m',il.l5 D. m west, 800 p. m, ll:io 2: o.
Stint east. 1iOO q. M, $3.50 y. m; wesV' e's' a.
IN, l:20 p. IN. -, .,..o;r, mach Is run
s,om Ionsng 10 Buffllo on trains psssinS fhn'
'ii iii p. m, 'and Lspesr at sos p m r,s
cuAs u PECK. IL. FUNNEL, W. J.. DAVls'
CAA9; b., b; NTIna,er Supt. Genl. Tkt.A
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

Bl .ar'l.. One year, one dollar for ever
ius.
Local Notices, Iru o. uts per line eHch insert ion
and all notices continued Tor tLroe months OF
longer, o discount ~ IS per cont
Advertisements unacCOmpuuied hy written or
,rrtal directions viii ho published three months
Advertisements, uudor contract, ordered out ho-
t11r expiration OF time, viii bg charged full rates
Nouap,r discontinued until all aroorages aTs
paid, except OF Che option OF the pu6hsher,
TRANSIENT advertisements must be- paid IN ad
vance.
rE-Tarm. CASH puyablo quarterly
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
LII. Z. NALDEN, ". D.

PHYSICIAN, SURGEON, GYHEcoLoGIsT
&C, Late Asst Surgeon L. 6. Army; Examining
surgeon for L. 5. Pensioners, and all the primer
nal Life insurance Cos. Residence and Othce Oh
second St., nearly opposite the Union House.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
ADAMSONS
BOTANIC COUGH BALSAm

Uar received tho endorsement and rcconifnenat
tto, Id cfn,nlneut physicians and Scien'in" Men
cvoryv lers ID has been introduced.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

4IpEvA lrJCHJGAN WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 20, Il
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
ADAMEON'-
uoTANIC Cough BALsAM

Has larger sale than al other cough me4!e!hs
efficacy
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

Coughs. COLDS, Asthma. spitunE oi Blood, Loes
nj Voice, Waoopine cough, Difficult Bryslhlns'
Hoarscnes-. and am affections OF inc lhloAt'
Bronchial Tubes aud Lungs, leading 10 'ons'Mi
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20

he'd in the Interest Of Alpena County, and for n. Editors Profit
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
Detroit g. Bay City Railroad,

s6IAG HoRrH.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-10-20
: l. CARPENTER,
THOS. IlcGLNN,

,nuufv surveyor o. Alpena County. Othoe ~
,'ti.in,' f5r nav fof thrce OF six months.
, 1880-09-06
Novel NuptIals.

Here's hint to the ladies who have
charge of church socials and festivals,
and who, rightfully enough, want to
make them pay well. At a recent festi'
val in western city wedding was one
of the featurs of the occasion. The
ceremony was announced in advance.
The idea was SO novel that, as result,
the church was crowded to overAowing
on the evening in question, and the
money began to pour into its open cof-
fers like water.
The young folks discussed ice cream
and cake, and talked of the event about
to take place, while surrounded by
their friends stood the prospective
bride and groom awaiting expectantiy
the words which would pronounce them
man and wife.
After an evening of rare pleasure and
endowment the time for the nuptlals
arrived, and in the presence Of the great
congregation the rite was admins
tered.
Then came the congratulations,
which, from such multitude, were ex-
tended In almost ceaseless flow. The
season of conversation was again re-
newed, and it was not until a late hour
that the assembly dispersed.
Several hundred dimes were coined
at the door, and the exchequer OF the
church was materially increased by the
more than novel entertainment.-Ess-
change.
, 1880-09-06
The Crime Of Seduction.

Seduction is worse than murder.
The william who under the promise of
marriage, or who by his words and ac-
ton leads girl to believe that he in
tends to marry her, seduces and then
deserts his victim, leaving her dis
graced, humiliated crushed helpless. is
tute of every spark of manliness and
honor, and courts and juries should
see to it, that he goes to the peniteu-
tiary the full term provided by the
law. In the trial of such cases they
should be very careful how they weigh
the testimony of young men intro
duced by the defendant to attack the
character of the ruined girl. It is d
notorious fact that every libertine and
licentious reprobate has "pals," and
foul birds of like ilk to himself, who
are ready to 20 into court and swear
that the young girl has bad character,
that they personally know it to be SO,
etc. Burglars and thieves always have
certain friends to go into court and
help swear the defendant out, and Sc
ducers of girls are similarly provided
with Inscriptions depraved, licentious
friends of large animal propensities
and one-story heads" who will un-
blushingly appear in court, and not
only confess their own moral depravity
and beastliness in general, but falsely
swear that they have committed imor-
alities with the poor broken hearted
girl then in court. Let these black
crimes against young, innocent, unso-
phisticated girls be punished by swift,
sure and severe legal penalties. Ores
ton Gazette.
, 1880-09-06

lam, I should say-can it be you?" she
said.
"'M Mr.. Hallam!'" echoed the young
man, with light laugh. I" 1t is John
your own john"
You are mistaken" she began,
but he interrupted her hastily.
Uncle Roger has deserted me. /
am glad vf it. His desertion sets me
Free"
"And will you not get his fortune,
after all 2" she asked.
"Dont be sarcastic. janet" he re-
piled. "I did what thought was for
the best, and the end proves was more
far-seeing than you were, for every
thing has turned out for the best.
have had a grand holiday, am richer by
twenty thousand dollars than when I
wooed and won you, and you shall have
set of diamonds, and teach school no
MORE"
L never cared for thousands Of dol
lars or dismonds," said Janet, with
rovoking calmness, land I gave up
teaching school at the beginaing of last
vacation"
You did? Then there need be no
delay. You will marry me at once,
Jenny ?" and he caught her hand and
pressed it to his lips.
John" she replied, as she quickly
withdrew it. =" ceased to care for you
as soon as had read the letter you sent
me announcing your decision to remain
with Mr.. Vandergaas. Strive to dis
guise it as you will. you chose between
humble life with me and a luxurious
one with your uncle. l."
Janet" he interrupted, eagerly,
"you do not, you will not, look at my
conduct in the right light. You are
such an uncompronising little woman.
Bat granting that did do wrong, For
get and forgive'-tha. was one of your
school notices, you know-and give
me back your heart, if you have ever
taken it away from me, which doubt y
with u confident smile" and tell me
when you will be my wife,"
Never, Jehn,"
Nonsensel l won't take that for an
answer. I foresaw, knowing you SO
we'll, that you would bring forward
many obstacles, and have come pre-
pared to combat them all, and to do
battle with whatever stands between
us. A few good blows. and down it
goes before me, Janet"
Janet's eyes twinkled, and a little
laugh escaped from her lips.
warn you to attempt no blows,
she said, as stalwart young fellow
strobe up to the gate, for l must
present to you an insurmountable OBJ
jection-Mr. John Hallam, my hus-
band, MIR. Oscar Lanier."
, 1880-09-06
The Diary Of a Census Enumertor.

Some one picked up on the street the
following journal of census enumer-
ator. He can have the copy by calling
at this of6cel
June How glad I am to get work!
1 thought the time would never come
round-and have beer SO long Idle.
Two cents name-excellent pay. New
shall be able to save $500 or 34OO. and
put the amount in futures. Let nae
see, I have my portfolio, the slank
schedules and blottipg pads. my rub
Der inkstand now for my work. Man
must earn his bread by the sweat OF
his face.
June al suppose I shall soon get
used to the work. One is apt to feel 9
little awkward at first. hope 1 shall
do better to-day than yesterday. sue
ceeded in making ten cents-hve names
at two cents apiece-but it's begin
ming. l. street is my district. l
thought 1 would commence with this
locality. The first house I entered was
not distinguished either by tho beauty
of its surroundings or its imposing ap-
pearance. 1t was tenement house
inhabited by foreigners. In as few
words as possible stated to the first
gentleman I met the object of my visit
He wore a long beard, and had evident
ly not washed, and appeared OF taci-
turn disposition. I told him I should
like to know his age and that of his
wife and family; that he would oblige
me exceedingly by telling me where he
was born, and by giving me other nee
essary information. l stood with pen
poised to put down the names. Then
he spokes Russki-no spike Eng
lish.'' l felt little discouraged. I
tried other floors and houses, but found
nobody to give me particulars about
anything. The names of washer
woman and her four children secured.
however. Net earnings, ten cents.
June 3.-Eureka! l have discovered
the secret of demonstrating. Handed
in list of 600 names, which makes me
$l2 in pocket. have no more trouble
now. know how to do it. have my
blanks filed in for my whole district,
and didn't trouble myself much about
it either. The city directory is an ex-
ceedingly useful publication. Ny i'm
agination is almost of as much assist
ance.
June A-Discharged for too heavy
average of Smiths to the block.
, 1880-09-06
The Portrait.

Say, can you read it7 Is it writ
In any line upon this face,
Love once had here his dwelling-place,
He touched this brow and hallowed 1t!
The pictured face smiles back at me;
NV art hath fashioned all this form,
Ny eager hand and fancy warm
They made this thing, and bade it be.
But is II here7 knew the life,
watched the budding of the flower,
Tie glorious ripening hour by hour,
And then the storm and pain and strife.
And now. Except the canvas show
The consummation pure and fair,
Loves holy work in radiance there.
Then back to chaos it shall go.
Oil we're it not lifeless shade,
If pictured lips could smile and speak.
Then these should say, in accents meek,
"XAaght am but what Love has made. T"
, 1880-09-06

FRENCH FARMIHe.-French farmers
work increasingly. They are not rapid
workers, but they are always at it. This
industry is accompanied by extreme
frugality. Their clothing is of the
simplest and most primitive form and
material, and the French housewives
or mothers seem to have carried the
art of patching clothing to the highest
pitch of perfection. In some speci-
mems I have seen it would be difficult
to say with certainty which was the
original piece, as distinguished from
the patches. They spend but little in
furnishing and almost nothing in the
ornamentation of their homes. They
live also in the most frugal way. It
has been said that two Scotchmen
would live where one Englishman
would starve. Be that as it may, it is
probable that three Frenchmen could
live on an allowance all too small for
the most frugal Scotchman. This fact
seems to solve the problem how it hap
pens that populous country like
France. with an average production
per acre less than England, can yet ez-
port breadstuffs. The producers con
sumo so much less. Small farming
seems the rule of the country, one man
tilling his own land with the help Of
his wife and children.
, 1880-09-06
The Army Worm.

The story told of the army worm and
his performances in the Eastern States
almost equal the wonderful tales IN
Herodotus, of ants that devoured cam
els and elephants and found an army
of men no great obstacle to their march,
They get SO thick and grow SO fast
that they cover the ground some
inches deep, and roll and tumble over
each other until the soil seems NOV
ing with life. They cannot be stopped
or turned aside. They go over stone
fences, a squirming gray mass, many
yards wide. covering it up like
blanket. WheE a field is exhausted
they take to the road and travel under
some apparent guidance, until they
come to field that is fit to eat. They
attack barns and eat up every green
thing and even the hay. Sometimes
houses are assaulted and it is found
hard, even with brooms. shovels and
brushes, to protect residences Half d
dozen of them will take possession Of a
stalk of rye or blade of grass and eat
the sustenance out of it. Those who
come too late for the first table will
burrow in the roots until the field looks
as if q fire had passed over it. Car
riage and wagon wheels make no noise
as the vehicles drive over the squirming
masses. They accomplish most Of
their work in the evening or the morn
ing. They cannot be stamped out, for
they increase faster than they can be
killed. A ditch with tar is only brief
impediment, because, as soon as it is
full, the remainder of the host cross
on the dead bodies. The worm is
about an inch long, thick as rye straw,
dislikes potatoes. and will net touch to-
bacco. 1t is not even good for food,
like the grasshopper, and SO ia no way
compensates for the devastation which
ia produced. Detroit Press.
, 1880-09-06

CONSERVATIVES THE AGED IN JAPAN.
in Japan, it would seem, they honor
the aged with the same congratulations
as We offer on their attaining remark
able number of years, though in q
somewhat different way. Mrs. Iva
Kura, mother of one of the dignitaries
of the empire, has just arrived at the
age of four-score years. In order that
she might understand how great was
the joy of her friends. eighty of them
came to an understanding each to write
her short poem. Among the authors
were included some of the greatest per-
sonages Of state, and from what Jap
anese paper says Oh the subject it may
be inferred that the lines were OF a
highly figurative and ornate character.
The verses, for instance, written by her
majesty, the queen, delicately treated
of the great age to which the stork at
tains, and, contrasting Mrs. Iva kura
with this favored bird, drew inferences
of the most fattering character. 1t Is
not said that the old lady read all the
poems, but it is noted that she took
pains to preserve them by having every
one pasted on pair of screens and rel
egated to place in her dwelling.
Whether the authors will take this
as compliment or not the writer who
records the fact seems as yet unable to
decide.
, 1880-09-06

An Orange county man was not sur
prised when the conductor of FourtA
avenue car stopped and held the bel!
rope while he jumped on board, and
said, "Much obliged to you; makes me
feel as if was to home. We never let
q stranger walk along the road up our
way when we can let him catch chance
ride with us. It's sort of neighborly.
You know. What! want six cents? Oh!
that's for the toll. Well, we always
pay the toll when we get ride foI
nothing. I suppose that was the toll.
gate" And he pointed to the station oi
the elevated railroad.-Neu York Her.
aid.
, 1880-09-06

A sin without its punishment Is as
impossible, as complete contradiction
in terms, IS cause without an effeot.
-[GFsy.
, 1880-09-06

There are 2,OOO, 900 hives of bees m
the United States, and the estimated
annual revenue from them Is S14. .O00,-
600.
, 1880-09-06

Bon B~tler goes boating on Sunday.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-04-15
ANOTHER BAD BILL BEATEN.

We are called upon to congratulate the
Assembly again upon the defeat of another
bad bill. We refer to the insurance bill
known as Senate Bill No. lSS, in the ex-
posure of which the RECORD UNION has
endeavored to do its duty to the public,
and on the final collapse of which it has a
particular right to rejoice. This insurance
bill was originally one of the most impu-
dent and immodest iniquities ever intro
duced to deliberative body. Its project
ors appear to have thought that the sub
ject was so little understood by the average
legislator that it would be easy to hood
wink them as to its real purposes. In this
conclusion, however, they reckoned with
out their host, as the result has shown. A
few local companies conspired to drive
large number of Eastern and foreign COM
panies out of the State, to the end that
they might secure the business of their
banished competitors. That was the mo-
tive and ultimate object of the bill. It was
attempted to deceive the Legislature
by irrelevant talk about protecting
" home industry !" but that argument was
quickly demolished by demonstration of
the fact that what these companies pro-
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-04-15

posed was directly contrary to the interests
OF the public; that in fact they were ask
ing to be allowed to increase their profits
by reducing the value of the guarantees
they gave their patrons. The security and
interests of the people were never more
tiagrantly ignored than by this outrageous
bill, indeed. 1t was as naked and shame
less grab game as ever was devised by
those land thieves whose infamies so stain
the history of California. 1t was too naked
and shameless to be successful, for when
the light was let in upon it the Legislature
could not be got to outrage public opinion
by supporting it, and it was pruned here and
Topped there until at last it met the just
doom of decapitation in the Assembly.
But though this is the end, and the
only fitting end, of Senate Bill No. ISIS,
it is not the end of the insurance ques-
ton. The discussion and investigation OF
the condition of the local companies re-
Gently necessitated, has brought into prom
inence the fact that several of them are
now doing an unsafe business, and has
made it apparent that the State ought to
put them under certain restrictions for the
better security of insurers. For the pres
ent it is sufficient to have defeated the
sinister project of these greedy corpora
tons, but when the Legislature meets again,
next January, it will be in order to urge
the passage of law prescribing the proper
ton of risks to assets which can alone be
safely maintained, and we have no doubt
that the necessity for such a change in the
law can be shown SO clearly that no diff
Guilty will be experienced in bringing it
ahout