Litchfield enquirer., 1880-05-27
CLIPPINGS.

---' Senator David Davis does not dare to sit on the 'fence."
 The Queen of the May still wears flannel around her neck
 5 The good mother and the accessible slipper, always make aspanking team. T %
 Motto for the milkman-To the pure all things are pure.
 A great many men who start out to reform the world leave themselves off for the last job.,. P. s5 Mr. Sankey's new hymn, "Is your lamp still burning, my brother ?" is to be dedicated to MT. Edison.
 A Boston artist painted an orange peel on the sidewalk so naturally that six fat men slip ped down on it.v s~R
 These Illinois tornadoes appear to be look ing for some one. But we undertand Colonel Ingersol is still at Washington. .- Our ancestors, the monkeys, couldn't have been so ignorant after all. They were all ,ed:t ucatedi in the highest branches.
 The New Orleans Pcayune makes the sur prisng statement that when one barber shayes another barber he does not talk. bS &
 When his cousin, Charlotte Dunne, was married Jones said: ''It was Dunne before it was begun, Dunne while it was being done, and not Dunne when 1t was done"
 Glass in Roman history: Professor-"W important parsonage was confined on the is- of St. Holena ?" MT. H.-''Robinson Cru soe."-- Es- ~-
 The New Haven Registes publishes minute directions as to how to stuff an elephant This is something that every prudent house. wife should cut cut and put in her recipe book ~ tt
 A western ventrloquists has broken off any number of marriage engagements by riding ill cars and making it appear that young ladies mapping in their seats by their young men were snoring fearfully.
 If Connecticut boy has good luck in crawl ing under the canvas. he will give one-half of the fifty, cents thus saved to the heathen Religion has strong hold on even the youth of the Nutmeg State.
 Politicians are sure of nothing. The man who is the dark horse o-day may be the bray ing mule o-morrow, and next day he may be nothing at all but disappointed donkey. A school teacher who had just been telling the story of David ended with, And all this happened over three thousand years ago." A little cherub, it's blue eyes opening wide with wonder, said, after moments thought "Oh dear, marm, what a memory you have got 2"a You'may say what you please abeut it, but there is luck in horse shoes. A woman nailed one up against the wood shed a month ago, and last week her husband eloped with the hired girl. The man had not earned @ cent for more than two years. Y3'r9 aAs A young pastor who has recently had a son born to him notifies a brother pastor as fol- lows: "Unto us child is born; unto us son is given-Is. g: G." It was on postal card. The receiver showed the message to 8 sister in his church, "Ah, yes, said the woman, alter reading it-it weighed nine pounds, six ounces" @ ; ot- Riding in 8 railroad car. Husband: ''You are quite comfortable, dear?" r"Wife: s'Yes, | loveY Husband: 1.-The cushions are easy and soft. ducky ?" Wife: "Yes, darling" | Husband: "You don't feel any jolts, pet ?'i' Wife: "No, sweetest" Husband : .'And there is DO draft on my lamb, is there, angel?" Wife No, my dearest own" Husband: l 'sThen change seats with me s"A R.iss ttt lA3 ssOh, yes," the old gentleman said, rather dubiously, while Laura was Telling hun about Toms ability and prospects; ''oh, yes good enough prospects, Ireckon, but he lacks ener- l gy. There is no tget up about him :it takes I him till o'clock in the morning to get start- ed" But she only 'hiurmured that it showed he was ''laster'' with great staying qualities, and then the committee rose. f...,. l The New York Herald asks Mir Edison, to ! invent a new kind of theater chair, which can be raised or lowered, according to the height of person or a bonnet, so that the tops of I heads or bonnets in a row of seats would be I on a level Then bonnet would have no advantage over eyes, and little man would
 have as many privileges as the tall woman in T front of him. a> es.fA vbshagf -Iz4 | It is wonderful what fools boys are. charming widow of our city owns nice boy, aud man from St. Paul wants to be appoint ed deputy father to the lad. It was only last Sunday that while the St. Paulma was stesll ing down Chestnut street with the. lad, ,9 hs Il asked .Bub, dees your mother bang hel hair ?n and thatfoolish boy answered, Oh
 no, butyou ought to see her bang dads head
 Guess the minister didn't know everything
 when he told pap to prepare to die. Prepare
 why he was aching to die"
 A Chicago reporter lately went one after.
 noon to .'do" cattle fair, and at night \
 finish up" grand ball. The next morning
 the office.w besieged by thirteen eHfaged
 husbands, seven big brothers and dozens -ol
 sisters, cousins and aunts each holding copy
 of the paper, and pointing to this paragraph:
 Miss Alice B., . beautiful blonde hcifeF, COW.
 bell and diamonds. etc. Miss Betty C., charm
 ing brunette. pink silk and pearls second
 prize; short horn. ae Mrs. Sarah Eliza K, .
 beautiful lmatron arrayed in Durham satin,