Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-01-01
Aumuruns department,
HOW HE ssSET ,EM UP"

HOW HE SSET 'EM UP.N
Simply because the man who stands behind
the bar of a certain saloon on Gratiot avenue
is a pleasantfaced smiling old man, certain
parties came to the conclusion that there was
no fight in him. They therefore cooked up
plan to play upon his fears and make him
''set 'em up" for the crowd. These rednosed
men called upon the old man in body, yester-
day, and business was opened by one of them
saying:
"When I was in here last night you han
ded ME a glass of beer with fly in it. No
gentleman would do that. You meant it as
an insult, and now | demand satisfaction.
You must meet me on the field of honor !"
"Ish dot possible! What field is dot p ex-
claimed the astonished bartender.
"You must 60 out with me and fight a
duel"
"Good gracious! Ish dot drue?'
eyes, it is. I'll go out and leave my two
friends here to settle the details with you.
I must either have blood or ample apology! y
When the belligerent had retired, one of
the others said:
"See here, old man, I'm afraid you've got
yourself into bad box. That chap is sure
shot, and he'll wing you" m
"How vhill he put some wings on me p
innocently inquired the beer,jerker.
"Now, listen. You insulted him."
"Yaw"
He demands the satisfaction of gentle
man."
"Yaw."
"You must fight duel with him or apollo.
gize and set up the beer.
What ish duel p
"Why, you will 60 outside the city and
pace off ten PAGES and shoot at each other.
Now, then, will you do that or set up the beer
and beg his pardon"
"Vhell, dells you" replied the old man
as he lifted a big navy revolver into sight.
"If sets up the beer I loses fifteen cents
if goes oudt and fights some duels l kills
him stone detr'
"And you'll fight ?"
"Yaw, vhill-it is sheaper"
"Don't you know" said the man, after a
blank silence, "that you'll have to fight all
three of us?"
"Yaw, 'spose vhill I shall now fight
nit you two and dake de odder one to-mor-
roww
He thereupon changed his pistol for a club,
danced around the bar, and the way he
rushed them out was painful to see. The bel.
ligerent was waiting on the corner, and as the
pair came busting out he called:
did he set 'em up!'
"Set 'em upp' shrieked one of the limpers
as he came to halt-"is knocking a man
over two beer-kegs and table setting em
up?'-Detroit Free Press
---->--<
sD~ Good DR.. R. is a Dutch Reformed di.
vine, generous courteous dominic of the
olden times, who never neglects a chance to
plant seed of good.
Recently, while out walking, he met a lit
tie boy whose face indicated considerable in.
tellect.
swell, my little man, "said the doctor,
after brief conversation, suppose you 80 to
Sunday school ?"
''Yes, sir"
"Study the Scriptures %
"Yes, sir"
swell, then, my boy, do you know who
made that poor cow whom l saw you stoning
not FIVE minutes ago ?"
"No, sir, don't replied the lad, with an
honest face. II don't live here, sir; I'm only
boarding for the summer!"
HEwAs "FIGGER1N'."- women are
never satisfied. AS for instance: The other
night, when Galliger was figuring up his ac-
counts, his wife spoke to him several times,
and receiving no answer she said, mourn
fully:
"You treat me cruelty. fear you no lon
ger love me-
And Galliger replied ardently: "Ah best
and sweetest Angelina, love you passionate
ly, devotedly, frantically, madly; but if you
don't hold your tongue till get this igger.
in done I'll give you clip 'longside the
head"
And in spite of these warm protestatons
of affection she did not appear to be entirely
satisfied.
HS- An Englishman hunting in Algeria had
native for a guide, and found himself, late
in the afternoon, in desolate spot and entire
'ly out of provisions The native suggested
that he should shoot monkey and broil it
over the campfire.
"What does the monkey taste like2 is it
good to eat?" said the hunter.
!"Well' said the native in most natural
tone, "it tastes very much like man, but it is
not so juicy"
The Englishman at once struck out for
home with his guide we'll in front of him, and
never took his sight off him until they reach
ed a civilized place where food was plentiful.
Bg- A well.dressed boy, about ten years old,
stood OH the walk in front of the City Hall,
the other day, eating an apple A ragged
urchin, having rag-bag over his shoulder,
stood close by, and looked like he would give
his hat and old boots for one bite of the fruit.
An attache Of the City Hall noted the situa-
tion, and was greatly pleased to see the boy
suddenly hand over the apple to the envious
rag-picker. "Thats good boy-that was
real charity!" exclaimed the gentleman, as
he patted the boy on the head: eyes, felt
sorry for him." replied the boy, "and I'd got
down to a big worm hole."-Detroit Free
Press.
s9" The young folks were talking about mis-
takes in courtship, when Uncle Job broke in
with the declaration ''that there was not any
such thing for" said he, nobody ever makes
any mistakes worth mentioning in courtship.
It's after the courtship's over and the lovers
have been married that the hurtful mistakes
begin" "Well, uncle" said one of his pretty
nieces, "whats the moral of that?" "The
moral?" exclaimed Uncle Job. "Whats the
moral? Why, 1 'spose the moral is, keep on
courtin'."