The Russellville Democrat., 1880-09-02
Ts rs
 MY OWN SUICIDE.
A Very French Story.

I.
 l had resolved to kill myself; there was no longer any doubt that Amelia was faithless to me.
 Let me be sure about it--was it Ame- lia her name was? To think that she once held my life, as it were, in her lit tie haHd, and l can't recollect to save my soul what her name was.
 Anyhow, whoever she was, she had proved false to me, and, as I was very young at the time, had promptly come to the resolution to destroy myself. My first intention was to go and blow out my brains all over her stair carpet, but then I reflected that every one would know that Henrietta-come to think of 1t her name was Henrietta-had infat- 6ated me and turned my head. "No," said to myself. mo scandal, no pub licityl Let me intimate the wounded stag, which, seeking to hide it's fatal hurt, betakes itself to the most secret thickets, there to perish tar from all human eyes"
 II.
 In this elegiac disposition l took the 5:30 train for Melun, which set me down just at dusk within few steps of the Golden Lion, very well kept inn with titStn DcuS illl0 Il
 "What will Monsieur have for supper?" said charming little mistress.
 "Nething-supper would be a mock cry. Show me my tomb-my room, mean"
 1 retired to my couch, but not to sleep In my ievered dream 1 beheld Victoria -I am confident it was Victoria after all-passing, leaning upon the arm of my bated rival. I clutched madly at his throat and seized-the iron railing ot the bedstead, or the marble slab of the little table by my bedside. 1 rose nnreireshed, but what of that-I was about to die hal ha! to die.
 Having dressed myself l went in search of rope. You may think that 'rhen person wants to hang himself nothing is easier than to find rope, but had to hunt the hotel high and low be- fore l could find one.
 What on earth do you want of a rope, ,Monsieurw said the pretty mistress when finally she foundume one.
 With the precious bit of hemp in my pocket took my way towards a thicket not far from the hotel in a little wood whose paths were familiar to me. There was one lonely and gloomy copse, there where l we'll knew my lifeless body NOutb eNtHk iOl WtChS CiC At Ndo tiS- covered.
 Upon the road thought of Bertha--I was wrong before; come to think of it, if was Bertha--and cursed her with all the bitterness of which my soul was capable l then tested my cord. 1t was not such an agent of selfdestruction as would have chosen had I had an assort- ment from which 10 make selection. It seemed to me both short and not up to my weight l was annoyed. You cannot tell how triHe like that will af- feet a persons temper at such moment. A further disappointment was in store for me. On arriving at the spot l had selected in advance 1 was disagreeably surprised 10 find some one else there An individual, whose back only 1 could see, was occupied in fastening rope to the most eligible branch of my tree. Hello! What are yon doing there?" erred.
 He turned around. "What business is it fyours, anyway" he said.
 Bah; don't you think l know what ! you intend doing?' "Well,and supposing wanted to hang myself-its my own funeral-suicide l mean"
 l regarded him narrowly. He was a handsome and manly young fellow of about my own age, with frank and winning countenance. He was deadly pale.
 "This young man." said l, lifting my hands to heaven, twas going to take his life--his own precious life--all for the sake of worthless jilt."
 Sir" he cried.
 Poor silly fool" l went on. commun- ing with myself aloud, "he would un fs dertake to defend her All lovers are the sama. Will you" Icontinued, "take my advicc--the advlce of well wisher? Just leave that cord there Git was stout. CT rope than mine, I had observed), and go quietly home like a good fellow. When you are yourself you will thank me for having given you such good ad- vice"
 He shook his head gloomily. q de- sire to die," he muttered.
 Don't let yourself be goaded into talk Ing step that if you were alive you would regret tomorrow" l went on, with benevolent persistence (you see the fellow had pre-empted the only real ly eligible bOugh in the woody sWhen You are dead it will be too late to change sT your mind"
 You speak to me without knowing what misfortune has happened to me"
 can guess it."
 No, you cannotspuess it. Sir,a woman mat loved; woman for whom"
 And he went on to tell he his story, which, singularly enough, was precisely Ike mine. The coincidence made ne pause a moment to collect my thoughts.
 Y.
 I see, said Charles the told me in the course Of his painful story that his name men
 E 10 means. 2. cried. (You will ob- stte ohat itgwopld not ave been dign'- Aea ior me to abandon at once my ior- 1c niSf position .5n the subject of suicidels lneFe IS nothing whatever in all that