The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-02-20

duct themselves properly, every week,
was neat and in good order. The yard
for the male inmates is large and sunny,
that is where the sun strikes, while the
one set apart for the ladies is much
smaller and directly east of the central
building. There are at present
TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY PATIENTS
In the asylum, eighty of whom are
females. Having taken in the whole es-
tablishment, the laboratory and all, we
were conducted to the physicians Office
and found DR.. Joseph at home, who
kindly gave us the following facts in re-
lation to the queer ideas and delusions of
some of the inmates:
JESUS CHRIST.
This individual, not the one referred
to in the Good Book, is peculiar genius.
During the recent gale he danced and
howled for Joy saying that he was causing
the storm to sweep the world to let it
know his power. He was going to give
it to them stronger still if the people did
not hearken to his teaching. He would
show them who ruled the universe, him
or DR.. Hawthorne. He has been an in
mate for years but is not violent at any
time, yet he frequently gets little loud.
On Christmas Gay turkey dinner is al
ways served, which he claims is in honor
of his birthday and he is correspond
ingly jubilant.
THE PATRIARCH.
One man proclaims himself as the
Patriarch of the World, and demands
that he be honored and obeyed in all his
proclamations. He insists that his COM
mission arrived two years ago and that it
is awaiting his order at Wells, Fargo &
| Co. s in this city together with lis salary
of $780, 900. He is not violent yet is very
arbitrary as he argues his high commits
| sion entities him to respect and obedi-
ence from the common herd of the world.
PIONEER.
One poor, simple old fellow claims
that he is l 500 years old, and from the
color of his complexion we must concede
| that he is Ham, or has some relation with
ham, as he works into the kitchen. He
assisted in building the ark, and loading
| it, and from this we presume Ham was q
1ongshoreman and Stevedore. After this
| job was completed he went to New York,
where he worked 500 years making big
fiddles, therefore Ham was also fiddler
which fact is nowhere found in history
Since that time, the fiddle business hav.
ing caved in, he has been a wanderer on
the face of the earth; therefore, lastly, we
must conclude that Ham is the Wander
ing Jew.
BILLIONAIRE.
Another individual is the possessor OF
untold millions, and is always negotiat
| ing q loan with some of the powers ot
Europe, for amounts beyond computa
| ton. He carries q number of papers
which are covered with figures represent
ing the amount in round numbers he is
worth in gold. He gives checks on Ladd
& Tilton for $1,000 to buy himself 9
neck-tie, and fabulous amounts to pur'
chase horses, coaches, pay his servants
ETC., with. He is happy in his hallucin.
alton.
OTHER INDIVIDUALS.
One thinks he owns the land on which
the asylum stands, and whenever work
men are engaged to make improvements
he orders their arrest; another owns five
miles square, and is going to build a
block of brick buildings that size; still
another imagines he is sowing wheat and
keeps up the motion without intermis-
sion except when asleep; another owns a
great many ships and inquiries daily
about their arrival; another man claims
.Dr. Joseph poisoned his wife, and is
frequently very troublesome; another
imagines that DR.. Hawthorne has done
him great injury, and while his hands
were strapped a few days since ran and
butted the Doctor in the back, almost
sending him to grass. We might go on
and fill an entire page of the TELEGRAM
with descriptions of these queer vaga-
ries, but the above are all sufficient to
satisfy our readers for the present. The
patients have the best of care, are exam
ined daily by the corps of physicians,
and are as happy as they can be under
the circumstances