The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-09-02
THIS AND THAT.
A GOOD conyevancer is known by hi

A GOOD conyeyancer is known by his
deeds.
LIGHr travels at the rate Of 1872, 900
miles per second
IRoS files are made by hand while the
iron is soft, and then annealed.
WHRS a man draws al inference he
should draw il mild.
THE mark Of canc-Dust on the I'M
ruly schoolboys jacket.
Ir is believed that the word "never"
has been crippled for life
WHES a mans curiosity is piqued, he
asks sharp questions.
MANY of the new summer books in
press will bc bound in muslin.
An artist is not So strong rs horse,
but he can draw larger object.
OuGur a woman TO kiss tobacco
chewcr? Yee, if she chews
SARATOGA hotels will all charge little
more than they did last year.
SPEAKING of reptiles, is Landlord
FIJI the Flowing Bowl - a treat ode ?
A CORRESPONDENT reminds us that
''lhcr" is Il medium in all things 49,
especially splritualism.
THE piano first made its appearance
rs Il musical instrument about the md
die of the eighteenth century.
Why have chickens no hereafter ?
Because they have their necks twirled
(ncNt world in this.
Why is it easy 10 enter an old mans
habitation? Because his gait is broken
and his ipckS are few.
HAvrSG asked his girl for kiss as
tonic, she replied that there was such Il
thing AS being too tonic.
"YOU'RE a man after my own heart,
as the hlushlng maiden confessed when
her lover proposed marriage.
THE trouble with too many in this
! world is that they want reserved seats
everywhere except in the family circle,
WHY is the strap of an omnibus like n
mans conscience? Because it is an in
ward check ON the outward man.
! - KI,s,' -ad Charles, "is a noun We allow;
BIT ten me, dear, IL It proper or commonW
Lovely Mary bushed deep, and exclaimed, "why,
| vow,
/ Thick that kiss is both proper and common"
WARS the best definition of quill =?
Something taken from the pinions OF
one goose to spread the 'pinions Of an
other.
WY is the money You are in the
habit of giving to the poor like new
| ly-borm babe? Because it's precious
little.
HYMEN is always represented as bear
ing torch. This symbolized the tOrtu-
ous ways Of true love that never did run
smooth.
"SuE never told her love"-bccause
the young man, anticipating something
Of the kind, hasn't called to see her since
leap year opened,
WuES fond parent secs a boy walk
through gateway, instead OF climbing
the fence, ne is worried for fear the lad
isn't quite himself.
ARrEMuS WARD once began lecture
by saying: Ladies and gentlemen, |
possess gigantic intellect, but haven't
it with me.
A lazy boy was complaining that his
bed was too short when his father stern
Iy replied, "l'hat is hccausc You are al
ways too long in it, sir"
Tue proprietor Of Louisville bone
factory announces that persons leaving
their bones with him can have them
Ground at short notice.
NormNG will please girl 80 much MS
the information that rival, who Is try
ing to rob her Of her best fellow, has
got q pImple coming ON her nose.
A NEW JERSEY colorcd man, whose
wife bad left, said "Shc would come
back if irowrd her some sugar, but
amt irownS no sugar, ito you hcalY
Ip an unemployed man can find moth
ing else TODD, he can always find situ-
alton as head waiter by going into o
crowded barber shop to get his hair cut.
A COUNTRY editor being asked, "Do
hogs pay - says u great many do not.
They take the paper several years, and
then have the Postmaster send it back,
Refused.
DoN'r dcspisc a woman because she
can't drive nails or hang pictures; if you
want to discover yuur own weak points,
just carry n 6Xi mattress downa narrow,
winding stairs.
A srRoLrING theatrical company was
Int the dinncr-tabe A waiter APP
preached one of the members, and said
Soup No, sir, replied the guest,
al am one of the mnsiciansY
An unsuccessful vocalist went to the
poor-housc aud delighted the inmates
with his singing. He said it was nat.
ural thing for him to do, as he had been
singing to poor houses ever since he be-
gan his career.