New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-05-19
WHOLE NUMBER 215.
MULTUM IN PARyO.

AN orator expects fair sailing when
he has before him sea of upturned
faces. IN. O. Rcayune.
AS MANY women learn to know their
husbands, they wish they had learned
to "No" them when they were only
sweethearts.
WHICH is the best OF the four seasons
for arithmetic? The summer.-Er.
Ought en- comes next, we suppose
Chicago Tribune.
My darling" said he, '.what de-
licious taste your lips have" Then she
sprang up and yelled: Goodness,
John, have you been eating my lip.
salve?" 49,
A CHICAGO man claims to have de-
vised an apparatus by which he can
convert water into light. Such an in
vention may become popular in Chicago,
where they have no other use for water.
Herald
ScR1BEs tell of a Washington house
in which the hostess is so elegant and
attractive and the rare curiosities so nu-
merous that nobody who attends her
receptions can ever be induced to waste
time on luncheon, so that one iced cake
does duty for whole season and is UNI
cut when Lent puts an end to social fes-
tivities. l..
AT Mansion House dinner, London,
the toast-master was desired to propose
the health of 1.-the three COnsuls," rep
resentatives of distinguished nations.
who Glanced to be present. He there
pvno0nI01 Ao <rSx nj Al,ok 1,n
desired by the Lord Mayor to propose
the three per cent. consols'
toast which came much nearer the
hearts of the audience.
ETHEL, a very little girl, is sent to
one of the schools where words and
their meanings are taught by descrip-
tions of common objects, and by the
application of terms to things which
the pupils may see. When she came
home the first day she examined her
baby brother critically as he lay in his
cradle, and said: Smother, Fred's OBJ
long and horizontal, amt hc?''
FIGARO relates that when tho son
of usurer was sought in marriage by
the parents of woman he had never
seen, his father told him to ask $4,000
is she was young and pretty, $4,000 if
she was old and ugly, and if there was
anything queer about her or her family
to demand 100000. A few DAYS after
came a telegram: "Thc girl has assas.
sina.cd her father. How much am to
ask?'
THE smartcst Newfoundland dog vet
discovered lives at Haverhill, Mass. He
meets the newsboy at the gate every
morning and carries his masters paper
into the house; that is, he did so the
other day, when his master stopped
taking the paper. The next morning
the dog noticed the boy passing on tho
other side without leaving the news
paper, went over and took the whole
bundle from him and carried them into
the house.
A WOMAN in the hospital in Florence
has 4 strange story. She entered the
Italian army in order to save her
brother, Il married man, from military
service. She served with distinction
during the war with Austria, and re-
ceived medal for bravery in the field.
When these facts were made known To
King Humbcrt he presented her with
the cross Of his order and gave dircc-
tons for her discharge on IN annual
pension of 800 francs.
A TRAMP who was not very shabby
got dinners for week in Franklin
County, Mass, by pretending that he
desired to buy farm, and accompany
ing the farmer on walk of inspection,
30 timed rs to bring them near the
house vixen the meal was ready. One
day he tried this trick on man who
had heard of his doings. A laborer
was secretly ordered to walk him for
three hours through fields and woods.
and when he returned to the house,
footsore and hungry, y second laborer
was delegated to kick him into the
highway.
"YoU remember, sir, you married
me many years ago" said = gentleman
to distinguished preacher in Char
lottc, N. G.. "No; don'tsay married
you," was the reply, "but that l mar
nlied you.' and thcreupon he ex-
plained to the satisfaction of the mar
ricd man that this was the word that
ought to be used, whether it was in the
dictionary or not, and now he deiies
any one to prove that according to
analogous formation in the language
the word is incorrect. 1t means TO
make married, and that's what the
preacher docs.
ME. GARHAEr. Virginia New
stagedrivcr, says that in his efforts to
run down Il hog he has become more
cxaSpcratcl than in being robbed by
road agents. He has borne down on
them with 4 five-ton stage and skim
hand on down-gradc, but, just as he
expected to see the air filed with wag-
on-grcasc and spare ribs, they would
lurch under the stage with Il grunt and
look Of satisfaction. In Il single in
stance he succeeded on a hog that had
lodged a train of cars coming out of n
tunnel, but he upset the stage. killing
two passengers and manning several for
life.
In a boarding house recently young
man on turning off his gas saw tho
words, "Confcss thy sins in phos-
phoresccnt characters on the wall. He
was surprised, but, listening, thought
he hcGrd some young l:.lies outside tho
door waiting to observe the effect on
him. SO, pretending to be frightened
ut the match-scralch, he fell on his
knees and confessed out loud that he
hal frequently kissed one Of the Young
ladies in the dark-tbc one whom he
had best reason to suspect Of playing
the trick. That youn! l:,iIy won't play
any more suc! tricks Immediately.
She thinks he is !, mean. horrid thing.
THE Mayor OF = commune near Paris
has laid information against coach
man for "having outraged the UNI
brella of . public functionary'' By
catching it with the lash of his whip
and breaking it.
Remember that an extra amount
Of feed is required to keep up warmth
when stock are compelled to remain
tout in the cold' during wet and
stormy weather. Lumber Is cheaper
than hay and grain, therefore build