The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1880-03-13


apparatus that 4 new wire has to be put
in two or three times month. and even
the knob wore ont quarterly. This state
OF affairs was not only expensive and
troublesome but it was gradually reduc-
ing Mrs. Smith to 4 skeleton. and she
daily waxe.i weaker and more attenuateG
She calculated. and calculated very cor
rectly. that she travelled from six to eight
miles . day in her tramps to the door.
At last Mrs. Smith, inspired by despera-
ton, hit upon the plan which has since
proved SO effective. A skillful machiniSt
was Immediately employed and directed
to construct beneath the front doorstep u
compact and powerful apparatus con-
ncctcd with spring on the inside of the
threshold, which, when pressed by the
light foot of Mrs. Smith, would suddenly
bring into play the great forces of the
hidden machinery and press the tioostcps
upward with such terrific velocity that
its unfortunate occupant would he hurled
into space. The flying pe,ller was sup
posed, after being prccipitatcd from the
doorstep. to describe graceful parabola
which wOi,ld have its termination in the
canvas. The receptacle being az inclined
plane, Was expected to gently drop the
involuntary acrobat 10 the sidewalk be-
low. AT last the ingenious apparatus was
completed and the mechanic assured the
inventress that her idea would make the
young pedler shoot, thus unconsciously
inverting an old expression lie also ex-
pressed his confidence that the aforesaid
canvas would invariably be the place of
descent. On the day before Christmas
Mrs. Smith placed Il chair near the door
and serenely awaited the jingle which
would indicate the approach Of her first
victim. She had not long to wait. Be
fore ten minutes had expired the bell
gave premonitory tinkle. Opening the
door Mrs. Smith smiled on the outsider
with more complaisance than she had
MANIFESTED for years before. She did not
''i ~ Ai'HSN1l- ~ FlstIC llCl looI III Ctll-
venient proximity 10 the little spring be-
fore mentioned.
Madam, ENORMOUSLY asked the I'M
conscious intruder may | sell you
sewing -
He was. however, called away so sud
denly that he had no time to complete
his for Nr,, |, lao,
spring. the step had flashed upward. and
10. the poor sewing machine man had
disappeared. Alas for human ingenuity.
however. he rcappeared at the wrong
place, and instead Of falling into the
canvass 50 kindly prepared for his con
venience. struck against the fence with
great violence, just after completing his
third >onersault. The neigh bors thought
that an unfortunate ;rroniut had been
pitched from Il balloon. and tlocked to
the spot i'll scores. The poor fellow had
Il leg fracture. and the doctor across the
street added another to his list of pa
ticnts. Thee machine was Immediately
perfected, and by Christmas morning
operated with beautiful accuracy. Dur
ing the morning Mr.. Smith advocated
the removal Of the canvas on the ground
that intruders deserved to suffer. In the
wee sma' hours of yesterday morning
however. he reached his house in con-
dition OF semi-inebricty which made his
footsteps uncertain and while entering
the door he was incautiouS enough to
place his right foot on the little spring
before he removed his left foot from the
doorstep. The result was rapid ;rrial
flight. a fall into the canvas, Il slide on
the sidewalk and Il walk back to the
door. This little incident removed the
objections which Mr.. Smith lad formerly
to tue canvas, and yesterday he watched
fifty or sixty pcdlers and canvassers prac-
ticc muscular contortion during their
flights from the step to the canvas. with
out feeling the slightest regret that they
were uniniurcd. 1t will be proper in
conclusion to inform the public that Mrs.
Smith has reserved the patent right of
her wonderful invention.
San francisco Chroniclt.