Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-04-29
WHOLE NO. 1888.

1
comb F! Any man can see with hal
an eye he is a real game chicken
while the other one is only a dung
hill fowl ?
"Now," said Uncle Abe, "that i
the way it was with those fellows GU
in Kentucky. They want TO be OF
both sides in this fight aud hurral
for the high or the low. cembed cock
as policy dictates. Ii re win, the,
will be good union men, but il JET
Davis were to win, they would b,
the best rebels in the worl !. Gener
al" be said, seriously, 81 think W.
got the high.conbed cuak III thi.
hight. We nust ssn 70 il taat oul
rooster wins, and then in the end q!
will be right"
| / sat and looked with astonishment
at the great man before me. | had
come to Washington to explain &c
him my embarrassment in Kentucky
on account of the anomalous condit.
ion OF the state and the varying TEN.
per OF the people. Kentucky was
then state in the Union with a
representation in our Congress, but
she had sent no less than thirty FIVE
thousand men to the rebel army, aud
had also 3 representation in the reb.
81 Congress at Richmond. | had ex.
pected to have some difficulty in
| making my embarrassment nnaer.
stood, but here was a man who knew
everything, and by a simple story
had not only explainel my situation,
but had pointed out what | should
do. | related the story to Mr.. Stau.
ton, and after that always referred
TO the contest in Kentucky as that
between two roosters. Once | wrote
Mr. Wade: "Tell Mr. Lincoln our
high'combed cock is doing very
well and can hardly fail to win. The
Squire bets three to one on him at
present la the next letter Mr..
Wade replied: II delivered your
message to Mr.. Lincoln and he
laughed heartily aud told me an ant
story which yon should get him to
repeat to you the first time you see
him."
Blessed old Abe, was there ever a
man like him? Certainly not in this
country, and | doubt if 10 any other.
One day not long after Mr. Lin.
coin issued bis Emancipation Procla.
nation, Mr.. Wade came in, laughing
all over his face, and said
swell, Old Abe has Just done the
damnedest thing you ever heard OF.
He has given out he has the small
pox to keep the politicians and of.
tlce-seekers away from the White
House."
The story ran thus Dir. Wade
went to the White House to see
Lincoln,wh had been ill. He found
the President a little pale, but Jolly
as could be.
"Sit down, Wade, | am glad to
see you. Oh, | have the funniest
thing to tell you; it viii make you
laugh. | never did such a thing be-
fore in my life,a and will never again"
Then the President laughed until the
tears ran down his checks.
snow. Wade" he said, "you are
not to repeat this outside, for it
would give offense, and il by no
manner of means COMFORTS with the
dignity which is supposed to badge
a president about. The doctor put
me up to it to rid myself of bore; /
ought not to have done it, but
couldn't help it, it was so funny You
people have wondered what allied me
but none OF theLl could fad out The
truth is, was worried to death, aud
talked sick pretty much by one man,
the most everlasting bore you ever
saw, who wanted an office. | knew
he would come again as soon as !
was able to sit up, and the doctor
put me up to get rid of him by say
ing bad the small pox. | only got
out yesterday, and sure enough this
morning he called on me. had de
termined to be polite to him, but he
stayed SO long the humor seized me
and sent for the doctor. Giving
him the wink, | held out my hand
and inquired:
Doctor, what marks are those on
my hand ?"
"That is varioloid, or mild small.
nox said tha doefor
swell" said /, otis all over me.
It's contagious, is it not, doctor? p
"Very contagious, indeed" he re.
piled, sand you should see no one"
"My visitor who had been getting
more and more nervous every min.
ute, now could stand it no longer,
and rising, said
We'll, Mr.. Lincoln, / can't stop
any longer. | just calIed to see how
you were, "and then he started to
hurry out.
"otop minute; | want to talk to
you" said I,"sbout that Office"
Excuse me. Mr.. President. You
are not well this morning and won't
bother you," said he, showing to
ward the door
"Never mind,'' said I, don't be in
hurry. IT, all right, and if YOU
are going to get he varioloid You'll
get now anyhow SO You might as
well Fit down"
THANK you, sir, but I'll call again I"
be replied, fairly turning livid and
executing mastery retreat from
the fearful contagion with which be
supposed me to be afflicted.
"Now," said Uncle Abe, sit will
be all over the city in an hour that
| have the small pox, and you can
contradict the story, but | want you
to promise that you won't repeat
what have just told YOU
Wade laughed until he was wea1,
and when he could get his breath
sufficiently to speak, he looked at
the clock as was lis custom, and
said
''Now for a little business anu then
| will GO"
"Don't go.n cried Uncle Abe, and
laying his head in bis hands on the
desk in front of bin, be laughed un-
I'll he shook all over. Presently
raising his face from between his
hands be wiped his eyes and blew
his nose until the report sounded
like the winding of horn. After