Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1880-11-06
NERULOUS HYPOTHEsIS


lack of terminal facilities.
A Kansas paper ends marriage
notice: 'The couple left for the East
on the night train where they will
reside"
a" Seems of Thought" writer says:
NO star ever rose and set without
influence somewhere" 1t is the
same with hen.
The telephone is only about two
years old, but some of the jokes
about it sound as though they were
ragged when the pyramids were
found.
Silver drab hats, made of owls
down, can now be bought at the low
price OF $75 each. In cold weather
they are very becoming - plumbers
wives.
One of the first acquisitions re-
ceiyed from a newly appointed rail-
way station agent was "Spnd me Il
gallon Of red oil for the danger Ian
terms"
The reason why the old Norwe-
glan poets are not more celebrated is
because their names cannot be hand
ed down to posterity without break
ing.
A very disagreeable old gentleman
dies. A nephew, charged with the
duty of preparing his epitaph, sug-
gests deeply regretted by all who
never knew him."
you wouldn't take a mans last
cent for cigar, would you 2" Ger
tainly would,n remarked the pro-
prietor. "Well, here it is, then"
passing over cent, give me a
cigar"
Little Paul brought boquet to
his godmother. And who gathered
all these beautiful roses 2" she ask
ed. Mamma, but" added he i'm
pressively, "she cut them with my
knife"
"There Are no Birds in Last
Years Nests is the title of song.
Probably not. If it were equally
sure that there were no rats i'll last
years rat holes the public mind
would be more at rest.
An exchange, speaking of a polti-
cal meeting, says: David Davis
StJ bll lllt Clldll llICtil > IlSlIU IduU.
That chairman'S hand must resem-
bile jelly fish after log has been
rolled over it.
The great city of Leadville was
once hamlet rude and young, and
presided over by mayor whose first
proclamation went off in this style:
whoever shall steal boss shall be
hung pur order of the mare ~
"Will you love me when l mould?"
said the youthful modeller to his
sweetheart. She cast her eyes
down and answered in the affirma-
tive, and he was so elated that upon
leaving her presence he started off
Immediately on a bust.
That was a very wholesome bit of
sarcasm when a gentleman turned
on coXcomb, who had been making
himself offensive, and said; "Sir,
you ought to be the happiest man in
the world; you are in love with your
self, and have no rival"
1t was either an Irish boy or a
Wurtemburger who wrote in post
script, Dear father, forgive these
large blots on my letter, but they
came while the letter was passing
through the post. | write this for
fear you should think L made them
myself"
Toddlekins is very small man in
deed, but he says he never minded it
at all until his three boys grew up to
be tall, strapping young fellows, and
his wife began to cut down their old
clothes and cut them over to fit him.
And then he said he did get mad.
1t was only summer Irritation
That each had enjoyed, with the plan
nation
Exactly at where it began.
And yet It gives each of US sorrow
To think we apart hence must roam;
But her husband comes for her to-
morrow,
And wife writes to me to come home.
A young lady who is studying
French, lately wrote to her parents
that she was invited a dejeuner the
day before, and was going to a fete
champetre the next day. The pro-
fessor of the college was surprised to
receive a dispatch from the ''old
man." a day or two after, saying:
IF you don't keep my daughter
away from these menageries and
side-shows, I'll come down and see
what ails herr
She wept, and she wept, and she wept,
And she sat with her head in
whimple,
why this grief?" l exclaimed, as l
slept
To her aid and her answer was
simple:
They said could make either side
In my cheek q most beautiful dimple
If cut out piece; and l tried;
And it isn't dim-its a pim-pl G T.