The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1880-07-02
PASSING SMILES.

AA'hANN h1AhAAAA<Fe
THE speculator may shape his course
by the rise in cotton. The cotton will
help the shape.
PATRICK on the zebra: "Phat kind OF
a baste is that-the mule wild his ribs on
the outside Of his shllin entoirly?'
PHILADELPHIA clergymen state that
the commandment against swearing was
gotten up before croquet was invented.
A WIFE should preserve the honorof her
husbands name, for frequently that is MI
he has ever given her worth mentioning.
THERE are more watches wcin in the
United States than in any Sfher country
OF course the people Lave better time
"DUTY stares me in the face, said the
deacon, when the custom-housc officers
caugh. MIN smuggling n dozen pairs Of
gloves.
PRINCIPAL, drawing ont his watch to
an unpunctual clerk: MIR. johnson, it
is already half-past nine" Clerk, draw
ing. out his watch and looking at it:
Agrees, precisely, sir.
A COUPLE Of soldiers Of the Salvation
Army approached Philadelphia broker
recently and asked: GLOW is it with
you my friend?" II am short on Read
ing, replied the broker.
A VERMONT couple put Off applying
for divorce one term of court, so that
they could profit by their tin wedding.
And yet they tell us the people Of this
country are needlessly extrayagant and
unthrifty.
He was informed that lady had
called to see him in his absence. IA
lady" he mused aloud, ga lady" Upon
an accurate description he suddenly
frightened up and added, ooh, dot vas
no lady; dot vas my wife. !"
STRAIGHT where She stnyed, with stride he strode
sad sighed he on the sod and said
" say, sec sigh and sue you so'
She had no heed but hid her head
Mauds Mood the mud Of meed made mad,
Nor answer knew she now but Mo-
= WaH WhiiBdn
A BARGAIN. (Scene, country inn.(
| Tourist" Confoiind it, woman; there's
chick in this egg" Landlady--" Well,
sir, You are II lucky one Ina few weeks
| | could have had half crown for that
fowl, and ere you get it for twopence.
And still he was not satisfied.
A pAMsEn from over the river was look
ing over some books in Quincy book
store, endeavoring TO make n selection,
when the clerk asked, "How would you
like the Autocrat Of the Breakfast
Table" She replied: "Oh, we've got
two Of 'em now, one Of EN- just as good
as new-only been washed twice.
"JoNEs propounded the following th1
other evening, after slipping of his alleged
tea; "Why is this drink like milk y
OF course nobody could guess, and after
he had divulged by saying it was lack
teal fluid, nobody dared TO smile. They
knew that the landladys eyes were upon
them.
A SUCCESSION Of direful shrieks is heard
on the first floor. Fond mother" What
is the matter with Billyp Colored ser
want" Please, nam, he is cryin' about
de iewberiies." "He can't have any
more. He has had four saucerfuls al
ready" "Dem is de berry ones he is
whoopin' about He's all swolled up.
The Detroit Free Press has inter
viewed Boston ice cart driver, who
saws that .'the size of the lump left at
at the kitchen door depends considera-
bly ON the good or badlooks of the cook. "
This argument ought to convince a
mans wife Of the desirability Of keeping
q good-loolking cook, but it won't.
: A CAPITAL anecdote is told Of little
, fellow, VINO III turning over tllS lehVSs VI
a scrap, book came across the well-knowr
picture of some chickens just out of thoii
shells. My companion examined the
picture carefully, and then with grave
? sagacious look at me, slowly remarked
"They came out COS they was afraid o
being boiled.
A PRUDENT lover sings:
! The thrush in the thiekot is singing,
The lark Is abroad on the lea,
And over the garden gate swinging
I A maiden is waiting for me.
= She will wait till she's weary, I'm thinking
Though eager am for the tryst;
r She will wait tail the bright stars are blinkln
. And sigh for the kisses she miss'd.
For her father is watehiul and wary,
= A very ill-tempered old chur,
u And I'm not the surt Of canary
q To he kicked for the loye of gill
t The following from Forney's Progres
d is equal to anything in the creme de I
It ctroniq1ies Of the French: What
happiness? asked man Of a woman
Q "To be the best loved Of some one,
n she answered promptly. "To assure
II must add also to love that one best.
X ooh, was talking Of the possible" sal
10 she. The conversation closed.
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