River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-06-24
Fun, Fancy and Flashes.

A dear little thing-The diamond
The mother of vinegar is Il very sharp
old lady.
Queen Victoria rules the English and
Chief Victoria rules the Arizona In
dams.
Lord Beaconsfield is said to be writ
ing new book, and to be contemplate
ing matrimony.
Freckles are not so bad 1t is said
one girl does not object to seeing them
OH another girls face
Strauss, the musical composer; who
now lives in Paris and is "A years old,
has passion for bric-a-brac.
He said her hair was dyed; and,
when she Indignantly exclaimed, ''Tis
falsep he said he presumed SO.
Joseph Cook denies through the col
umns of the New York Observer, that he
is either the friend or defender of Spir
itualism.
In some respects the gentler sex far
Surpass us. No man, for instance, can
deliver a lecture with dozen pins in
his mouth.
1t is awful hard to realize that wo-
man is an angel when one sees her
pick up a clothes-prop fourteen feet
long to drive a twO-Ounce chicken out of
the yard.
A bunch of American shingles which
was washed ashore on the island of
Madagascar was put to popular use.
Two hundred and fifty children were
accommodated.
A stranger, passing churchyard and
seeing hearse standing hard by, in
quired who was dead The sexton in
formed him "What complaint" ask
ed the inquisitive one Said the old
man, ''There is no complaint; everybody
il satisfied"
In concluding an article on the last
corn crop an Alabama editor remark
ed. I'VE have on exhibition in our
sanctum a magnificent pair of ears. +"
An exchange prints an article by Mrs.
H. B. Stowe, entitled "Why Men Fall. F"
The most frequent cause of mans fall
in summer and fall is attributable to
banana and peach skins on the side
walk. And beer and whisky the rest of
the year But Mrs. Stowe, queerly
enough, doesn't enumerate either of
these causes.
"Well, Father Brown, no. did you
ike my sermon yesterday" asked a
young preacher eye see, parson," was
the reply, II haven't fair chance at
them sermons of yourn. I'm an old
man, now, and have to set pretty well
back by the stove and there's old Miss
Smithc, Wilder Taft, n Mrs Rylan's
darters, n Nabby Brit n all the rest,
setting in front of me with their mouths
wide open, swallerin' down all the
best of the sermon; N what gets down
to me is putty poor stuff, parson, putty
poor stuff
OF the wives of the various candidates
for the presidency, past and present,
Mrs. Randall is pronounced by the Cos
sips to be quiet dignified, deeply relig
Gus, and very unambitous: she is always
called Mother" by her husband, Mrs.
Thurman is on the shady side of life,
practical and domestic. The dark-eyed
Mrs Bayard has the graceful and pol
ished southern manners, and goes but
little into society Mrs. Field is blonde,
with luminous gray eyes, very intellect
ual and brilliant, and lovely. Mrs.
Morrison is plump, rosy. animated, af-
Idblt, anu tIlLlItiN 1T IlCl tdSt SDCldliN
Mrs Grant is dark, near-sighted, cross
eyed, simple in her manners, and very
kindly. Mrs Sherman is tall willowy,
and very benevolent Mrs. Washburne
is petite and dark-eyed, fine and en-
thusiastic talkcr is of French extrac-
ton, and shows her acquaintance with
foreign life Mrs Blaine has mag
niticent appearance and very distin-
guished carriage, is educated and in
telligent, receives like a queen, and
keeps his house as general plans his
campaign. Mrs. Edmunds has poor
health, and has spent much time in
Europe on account of it; she has good
deal artistic ability, paints well, and her
her pictures adorn her drawing room she
has the New England repose of man
ner. Mrs. Garfield is delicate, very
domestic, and devoted to her family.
Mrs, Window is tall, graceful, engaging
has magnetic manner, and teaches
her own children.
Why suffer sleepless nights when your
Baby is not well? You can buy DR..
Bulls Baby Syrup at all Drug Stores
for quarter of dollar.
1t is to be hoped that mosquitoes will
use the telephones this year.-Nelc York