The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-05-27
CENTENNIAL cARAME1s.
Manufactured from the Sweet Expe.
rience Of Visitors to the
Nashville Exposition.


Here and there we find a de-
pressed person who calls it the
Centennial Imposition.
He took IN the centennial and
had splendid time, but when he
returned to his home on the farm
he developed an hitherto undiscov-
cred talent for sitting on the fence
and making faces in the direction
of Nashville.
Mayor Crow reveled in bliss at
the Centennial. He was separated
from his estimable lady and forced
to sleep on the floor with Two edi-
tors, two preachers and two school
teachers. He passed a wretched
night in such company, of course,
but strange to say did not miss any
of his valuables next morning. He
attributes their preservation to the
fact that he slept with his watch
and pocket book under his head
and kept his hand on his pistol un
til broad daylight.
They slept four in a row; the
bed was a scrap of floor; their limbs
were interlaced until no fellow
could swear to his own leg; they
perspired in unison; they swore in
concert; they rolled and tumbled in
close copartnership, and they muir
INJURED dammit as fierce gusts OF
slumber swept over them. The
perspicuous cockrOach plodded
along their spinal columns, the vi
vaclous flea burrowed in their arm
pits, the companionable bedbug
tapped their carcasses freely. They
arose refreshed in the morning and
paid $1.5O. These patriots were at
the Centennial and they had a good
time.
A venerable Justice of the Peace
from an adjoining county, who went
to the centennial last Thursday, thus
describes his disappointment: 81
was always a Andrew jackson man
and when 1 heard they had paid
$4,000 for his equestrian statute,
went down to Nashville to git post.
ed. 1 made up my mind to run
this ere court according to that ar
statute or bust. Well, what do you
reckon it turned out to be2 Moth
ing else, by hockey, but a burned
old brass boss, struttin' on his hind
legs; and when asked a young
Teller whar was the statute, made
and provided, he said, Skim the
scum from your eye-balls, old Teller,
and do your own lookin'.'
A hollow-eyed youth, whose
stomach showed out his coat-tail
and whose cheeks resembled col
lapsed bladder, alighted at the de-
pot in Pulaski Saturday last and
asked if there was a haven of rest
for stranded patriots in this imIne-
date vicinity. Trudeau, of the st.
Giles. discovered at once that he
was a victim of Maxwell House
centennial fare $500 per day, with
provisions at long range and sleep
ing accommodations on the floor of
the rotunda) and he gathered him
in compassionately. One meal at
the St. Giles pulled out his eyes.
brought his abdomen to the front
and rounded his flabby cheeks into
the rotund symmetry Of ripened
peach. He said there was a con-
spicuous absence of food, notable
profusion of speeches, and a patri-
otto display of big board. bills at
the centennial, all of which he en-
joyed amazingly.
She enjoyed the exposition, she
did. She left on the early train.
without breakfast, and struggled
with a rebellious stomach in the
midst of swarm of human beings
who mussed her well starched ul-
ster, trod on her toes, and fell, with
every jerk of the train, into her lap.
A weak eyed youth lost his hold on
the bell-rope and snatched at her
back hair for support; an old fe-
male, with glaring spectacles, who
was tripped up by a sudden jolt
endeavored to maintain her equi
librium by grasping one of her ear
rings; a sociable baby deposited
his mornings milk in her lap, and
horny handed son of toll, il
search of the window, lodged s
Juicy quid of tobacco in her left
ear. She enjoyed herself, however
and when Nashville was reached
she wept on leaving the train. Sh'
saw the military review, she OBJ
served the shoulder blades of Gen
Joseph f. Johnston, she conversed
with a person who read a descrip
ton of the fireworks in the Amer
can, she Toasted on table-cloths and
salt collars, and she slept TRANQUILITY
in the midst of a motley assemblag'
OF waspish old maids, irritable
mothers and screaming infants
She returned home at last, delighted
with the trip.
We now have in store a nice line o
Flower Pot Brackets, which we are OF
fering for sale cheap. The ladies, a