The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1880-09-11
THE JINERS.
THE HUSBAND WHO JOINED ALLTHE SECRET
ORDERS.

| THE HUSBAND WHO JOINED ALLTHE SECRET
ORDERS.
She was about forty-fve years old,
well-dressed, had black hair, rather thin
and tinged with gray, and eyes in which
CLEANED the fires of determination not
easily baked. She walked into Major
Huses Office, IN Patterns block, and re-
quested private interview, and having OBJ
tanned, and satisfied herself that the law
students were not listening at the keyhole,
said, slowly, solemnly and impressively:
II want divorce"
"What for' supposed you had one of
the best husbands" SAID the major.
~ s'pose that is what everybody
thinks, but if they knew what I've suf-
fered in ten years, they'd wonder hadn't
scaded him long ago. | ought to, but for
the sake of the young ones I've borne it
and said nothing. I've told him, though,
what he might depend on, and now the
times come. l won't stand it, young ones
or no young ones; III have a divorce, and
if the neighbors want to blab themselves
hoarse about it they can, for l won't stand
it another day"
"But what's the natter Don't your
husband provide tor you6 Don't he treat
you kindiyl" pursued the lawyer
I'VE get victuals enough, and | don't
know but he's as true and kind as men in
general, and he's never knocked none of
us down. wish he had, then I'd get him
into Jail and know where he was nights"
retorted the woman.
"Then what's your complaint against
him?"
"Well, if you mustknow, he's one Of them
plague jiners"
"a what?"
"a iiner-o one Of them pesky fools that's
always jining something. There can't
nothing come along that's dark and SLY
and hidden, but he'll jine it, If anybody
should get up society to burn his house
down, he'd jine it just as soon as he could
get in, and if he had to pay for it, he'd 60
all the suddener. We hadn't been married
more'n two months before he Jined the
Know Nothings. We lived on a farm then,
and every Saturday night he'd come tearin
in before supperlgrab 6stiul Of nutcakes
and 20 of gnawin' 'em, and that's the last
ia see of him till morning. And every
other night he'd roll and tumble in his bed,
and holler in his sleep: Put none but
Americans on guard, George Washington
and rainy days he would 60 out in the corn
barn and jab at n picture of the Pope
with an old bagnet that was there. |
ought to put my foot down then, but he
fooled me so with his lies about the Popes
coming to make all the Yankee girls mar
ry lrishmen, and to eat up all the babies
that warnt born with cross on their fore
heads, that let him go on and encouraged
him in it.
"Then he jined the Masons. P'raps you
know what them be, but don't, 'cept they
think they are the same kind Of critters
that built Solomons temple and took care of
his concubines; and of all the darncd non.
sense and CAB about worshipful masters
and square and compasscs and SIGH
like that we had in the house for
the next six months, you never see
the beat. And he's never outgrowedit nuther.
What do yon think of man, Squire,
that'll dress himself in white apron, bout
big enough for monkeys bib; and 90
marching up and down, and making
motions, and talking the toolishest lingo at
aplcturc of George Washington in green
jacket, and a truss on his stomackS Amt
he loonytick. Well, that's my Sam, and
I've stood 1t as long as I'm agoin' to.
"The next lungc the fool made was into
the Odd Fellows. made it warm
for him when he come home and told me
he'd jined them, but he kinder pacifcd me
by telling me they had a sort of branch
show that took in women, and he'd get me
in as soon as he found out how to do it.
Well, one night he come home and said
I'd been proposed, and somebody had