Connecticut western news., 1880-08-11
WIT AND WISDOM.

| A tWo AooG Iuuo-bon "oah "ShO shoes. KNOCKING friend down is a sure way of dropping an acquaintance.
 FLIES work from sun to sun, but the mosquito's work is never done.
 THE coroner as we'll as the farmer makes hay when the sun shines.
 SWEETNESS is no protection against in- justice even sugar can be crushed.
 THE man who can live on himself like Dr. Tanner, needs no rich relations.
 A MOTHER with lively boy resembles nothing in nature so much as the hen with duckling.
 THERE is no seaside resort on the At lantic coast which hasn't "the finest beach in the world"
 THE heft of woman cannot, with any amount of correctness, be arrived at when judging by her sighs.
 "Another man overboard," as the landlady remarked when the dead beat skipped on Saturday night without pay ing for his weeks board.
 SOME men are so enamored with work that they will stand and watch another labor, forgetting for hours all thoughts of self in their enchantment.
 THESE two things, contradictory as they may seem, must go together-man- ly dependence and manly independence, manly reliance and manly self-reliance.
 DIFFERENCE in mothers. Tommy (whose mamma had been reading to him about Eve and the serpent)-She wasn't like you, mamma, for you're afraid of ..a mouse! 8t*S<s
 To PROTECT ones self against the$ storms of passion, marriage with good woman is harbor in the tempest but with bad woman it proves tempest in the harbor.
 THERE is vigilance and judgment about trifes, which men only get by liv- ing in crowd; and those are the trifes of detail, on which the success Of execu-3 tion depends. N
 AN FRESHMAN, watching game of baseball, was sent to grass by foul which struck him under the fifth rib. GA fowl, was ut? Begorra, I thought it was 8 mule."
 A PERSON is expected to be thankful because he enjoys good health. Only small boy can enjoy bad health, and then it must only be bad enough to keep him out of school.
 A CATFISH five feet long was recently caught in the Ohio River. How thank full civilization ought to be that the catfish, unlike the cat, does not get upon the back fence and howl | HAS TT ever occurred to us, when sur rounded by sorrows, that they may be sent to us only for our instruction--as we darken the cages of birds when we wish to teach them to sing.
 THERE is many man in the world who, like the Abbot of Bamba, gives away for the good of his soul what he can't eat, and thinks it ought to be counted in his favor on the last day. DOWN by the river side they met, | Sweet Romeo and Juliet. l dST udllu III uo JlitSou uuu pulNy l "Sweet Juliet, I would thee we'd" l "Indeed?" she queried, An! let's go; Get in this boat. Oh! row me, ohP l WHEN you fail to do thing well it is never your fault, of course, but the fault | of circumstances. The Spanish have saving which corroborates this state ment :-" The archer that shoots ill has 8 lie ready"
 AN AMERICAN girl who marries an Italian marquis gets on very well until his Serene Highness begins to spend all her money and talk of Cher father ze shopkeepaire." Then she fires up and g1ves him little 4th of July.
 HARVEY DENTON says that it puzzles him how strange men walk in houses and abstract fifty or hundred dollars from bureau drawer He says he couldn't do it in his own house, and he knows every nook and corner in it. | A DUBLIN car driver made 8 very happy and characteristic reply the other day. A gentleman had replied to Pats "Want car, sir ?" by saying, "No, I am able to walk" when Pat reioined, "May your honor be able, but seldom wiling"
 You can't have everything yon went ? in this world. Life is like blanket that is too short-if you pull it over your shoulders you uncover your feet, and if you cover your feet your shoulders must be bare. However, some people manage to draw their feet up little and so pass 8 pleasant night. Do you?
 A NEW ENGLAND writer is noted for neglect in his personal appearance. The night before Christmas gentleman spoke to friendof making the author present. "I want to get him something that will keep observed the gentle man. In that case, would suggest cake of soap," remarked the friend.
 A PERSON with turn for curious sta- tistics has calculated that the ten million barrels of beer reported by the brewers Congress as sold last year, would fill 6 canal twenty-one feet wide and five feet deep, extending from New York to Phil adelphia, and that it would take pump throwing thirty gallons minute running night and day over twenty-one years to pump it out. It was all swallowed, however. rE
 BRowN's landlady pissed him a dish of vegetables at the dinner table and he helped himself to about two spoonfuls, almost bankrupting the dish, when she said fo him with a smi1a on bar faoa