The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-02-19
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.

The best thing out is bad cigar
Isn't itY
WASHINGTON is a D. G. tful place
Exchange That's Capital joke.
in the midst of life we are in daily
receipt of the Congressional Record.
A TEN-CEN ante is better than no re-
lation at all.
LEADvILLE is called young tows
because its inhabitants are mostly
miners.
CLEoPATRAs NEEDLE is the ONLY
needle that people show a disposition
TO sit down on.
ms the same with men as with eggs:
You can't tell whether they are good OF
bad till they're broke.
LET our Indian policy be: Nothing
for Tribe Utes, but millions for de-
Tense. - Whitehall Times ....
NEXT to handkerchief, there il
nothing in the world that gets 80 many
blows AS a street lamp.
A DOLLAR is always in good quarters,
summer or winter. but hang the twer ~
cent pieces.
A POET sings, "The heart must beat
or die" 1t is precisely the same way
with a tramp, you have noticed.-Rock'
land Courier
POET" Do you want any of my
blank verse;" "No, we don't want any
Of your - verse;" says the editor.
Mr.. BYRON was once knocked upIt
IN unreasonable hour in the morning
by friend. "Ah," he said, ga rose
two hours later would have been quite
as sweet"
LIBERAL ENoUGH-Rev Stranger,
pointing to the Madison Avenue Garden
=" What church is that, my ladT
Newsbcy--" Go-as- you-please church,
sir. Have paper"-Puck. ..
DOMESTIC economy in these days Con
sists in growing about the price
flour at home, and because your friend
won't take "another one" while you are
down street.
A MAINE editor was paralyzed while
sitting in church last Sunday, and an
esteemed contemporary thinks the
novelty of the situation was too much
for him.
ORANGES sell on the streets of Lake
City, Florida, at from fifty cents to one
dollar per hundred. And alGgatorS,
snakes and such fruit can be had for
the asking
The following conversation took place
recentlv in a hotel. "WaiterT I" Yes,
SIR" whats this" "It's bean soup,
sir" "No matter whatit has been, the
| question is-what is it now"
WILLUM-" Not quite so active as
you wus twenty years ago, Tummas."
Tummas-" No, Ihaint, Willum; l find
carnt run score lately, but ii ony.
body asks me to ave drink, I jumps at
the hofler."-Fm.
CAN you hold pretty girl on your
lap and not kiss her? Then you are
something more than human.-Hartford
Sunday Journal. Send on your pretty
girls, if you want to behold super-human
efforts.-New York NeDs.
JOHN MoRRIssEY's widow says she
taught him all he ever knew, and when
we remember how many tricks he had
with that ugly left hand, one can't help
but admire the woman he left behind
him. detroit Free Press.
WIFE Ito her husband, who is eating
Juicy roast with great relish y" For
Heavens sake, we have forgotten that
this is fast day." Husband (sulkily)
-" You might have waited at least till
was through"
ELDER sister Ito little one who ap,
pears to take great interest in Mr..
Skibbons) -" Come, little pet, it is time
your eyes were shut in sleep" Little
pet-"I think not. Mother told me
to keep my eyes open when you and
Mr.. Skibbons were together.
WHEN you see young man in gor.
geous apparel walking about the street
with his arms hanging in curves from
his body like the wings of an overheated
turkey on a summers day, it isn't be.
cause he is in pain. 1t is because he
has been abroad" and that's the only
thing he learned.
EMERSON says a man ought to carry
a pencil and note down the thoughts OF
the moment. Yes, and one short pencil,
devoted exclusively to that use, would
last some men we know about tive thou.
sand years, and then have the original
point on Bmlinoton H1mkeue
No language can express the power
and beauty and heroism and majesty Of
a mothers love. 1t shrinks not where
men COVER, and grows stronger where
man faints, and over the wastes Of
worldly fortune, sends the radiance Of its
| .,oi L., edoI;tv l;Lo . ,<or In has van