The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-05-27
A Diseased HAT.

Probably the meanest trick that vas ever
played on white man was played last week
in this city, and the fact that there is no
vigilance committee here is the only reason
the perpetrators of the trick are alive. A
business man had tust purchased new stiff
hat, aud he went into saloon with half II
dozen friends to fit the hat on his head They
all took beer, and passed the hat around SO
all could see it. One of the meanest men that
ever held u county office went to the bar
tender and had thin slice of limberger
cheese cut OIL and when the party were look
ing ut the frescoed ceiling through beer
glasses, this wicked person slipped the cheese
under the sweat leather of the hat, and the
man put it on and wal eed out The man
who owned the hat is one Of our nervous
people, who is always complaining of being
sick, and who feels as though some dreadful
disease was goiug to take possession Of him
and carry him oil. He went back to his place.
of business, took off bis hat and laid IL on the
table and proceeded to answer some letters.
He thought he detected smell, and when
II y DhTlutT hSkNh MN IL It ulhlb iNui SlNN Nv
said he believed he did. a clerk said it was
evident that somebody's feet needed wash
ing. The man turned pale and said he want
ed to 60 home.
lie met man on the sidewalks who said
the mir was full of miasma, and in the street
car man who sat next TO him moved away
to the end the ear, and asked him il he had
lust come from Chicago. The man with the
hat said he had not, when tne stranger said
they were having great deal OF smallpox
there, and he guessed he would get .out and
walk, and he pulled the bell and Jumped oil,
The cold Precipitation broke out on the fore
head of the man with the new hat and he
took il off to wipe bis forehead when the
whole piece of cheese seemed to roll over and
breathe, and the man got the full benefit of
it, and he came near taintlng. away,
He got home, and his wife met
him ut the gate and asked i'm
what was the the matter with him and
"Where did you get into "" said she
'Get into il 2" said the man, II have not got
into anything; but some deadly disease has
got hold of me, and | shall not live She
told him if any disease that snelled like that
had got hold Of him, and was going to be
chronic, she felt as though he would be u
burden to himself if he lived very long
She got his clothes off, soaked his feet in
mustard water, and he slept. The hat was
living on the centre table, and the children
would smell of it, and look at each other
with eproachful chances, and 90 out and
play. the man slept and dreamed that a
smallpox flag was hung in front of his house,
and that he was riding in butcher wagon to
the nest house. The wife sent for doctor,
and when the man of pills arrived che told
! all about the case. The doctor picked up
tho patients new hat, tried 1t on, and got u
sniff He said tho hat was picked before it was
ripe. Then tho doctor and his wife held n
post mortam examination OF the hat and
found the slice Of limburger. Stew and
short were the prayers they said They
woke the patient, and to prepare his mind
for the revocation that WAS about to be made
the doctor asked him if his worldly affairs
were in satisfactory condition. He gasped
and said they were. The doctor as ed
him if he had made his will. He said that
he had not, but he wanted lawyer sent for
at once. The doctor asked him if he felt ms
trough he was prepared to shuttle off. The
man said he had always tried to lead differ
eut life, and had tried to be done by as he
would do it himself, but that he might have
made misdeal some way, and he would
| like to have minister sent for to take an ac-
count Of his stock.
Then the doctor brought to, the bedside this
hat, opened up the sweat leather and showed
the dying man what it was that saeled So
and told hun that he was as well as any man
in the city. The patient piuched himself to
see ifhe was alive, and jumped out OF bed and
called for his revolver, and the doctor
couldn't keep up with him on tho way down
town. The last he saw of the odoriferous
citizen h., was trying to bride the bar tender
to tell him which one of these pelicans it was
that put that slice of cheese in his hat lining