The Red Cloud chief., 1880-01-29
the FAITHFUL raoSOGRAPH,


or. rhs y-sss.r nr~eA<r-s 1~.e.ss-
frru~- a. ChS~ss rSs~
whcn vii Trvwa-ap gtrss learn IN s~
kind % Their yoanx~r hrvshsrs. and cpa-
ssicssie II their freitrx.s II issy eaiy
kp~u hox a hale kindns.- o. iA~sr part
rniyt. ohFtats trouhte. pTo-sDss bones
&c pesr.. ard sar<f tbs destiny Il
sv.ral Iiv~<-hzs al GAis sifl ~ h~s;rs
illustrated BY ths ~foIhpstn- -"rs treus
real life:
I In ,he city q Ripsn. Ws. which
l. celebrated alike fos The beaasy a &c
daughters. III. dslsghifal arsisy IT its
cranb<rrics. sod tks rsrclkn-c q SIS
shingles and ~elApbpsrd.. ;berv dweils q
lively ycua lady. who -. o. rz;hrr
was. aiiianc~a ;o n handsome. clsvss.
arniahle. and rieh yoaas a re.sdias
IN that u~aetrupoils 81 Ibs Western ~"gia.
Chicago.
n. Among the near relative. 81 this
beautiful GIRL l. her brs;h-s. = eo. 81
II or Is. With whom she has. ever sinsc
she = renasuler. maintained relations
Il what might DC called mAicyoleni
neutrality. Her mos, afee:srnAte man-
ner II addressing him was In call him
That boy" or. "fvu horrsi little
beast or words 10 tia; efcvi. and
about seycnty--~yen time = dAy her
voice could be heard calling ~hrliy,
:" Ma. do make Robert stop and behave
himself Z" PA. Robert il tsAsiag
mel" or. "wait III pa gc;s home TO-
night, young maa, and yoam know
whs, fathers. and wordsheis, and
trunh-strsps were created for-ihat's
all"
III. As a matter of course this Young
male relative cheri.hcs for has sister any
thing but sentiments Il most dis;in-
guished consideration, - the diplomat
i-ts say. He has taken every oPporsu-
ui;y during his comparatively few bat
superlaiiSely evil years to gibe and an
noy her. humble her social pride. and
thwart her matrimonial ambitions. His
practices. such n. advising her II state
teas no; % be afraid of 4 second slice Of
thin bread aud butter after having AT
dinner demolished five plates IT eoned
beef and cabbage, yelling down stairs
~ an admircr opens the front door,
Hi. Mary, there's your f%eller. and The
dentist hasn't sent home your false
teeth" and the like, are wholly indie
feasible, though the extreme nature 81
the p~royocsiion must a, the same time
be admitted.
". A few DAYS ago the beautiful
young girl. Chicago nance sent her a
singular prrs.nt-a Photographers
companied by a letter Ia which be- used
words to the following effect; "Dearcs,
and darlingest duck, sweet A. your long
and loving letters are. n thing that
could more strongly and ravishingly re-
mind me Of Your iiolikcd presence
your peerless self. II | could only bear
the sounds Of your sweet. meloiiou,
voice. IL do I say? can, | cant
Thanks io the genius If that wonderful
man, Thomas Alva Edison, ] can carry
your love-words round with me
upon my heart; hear, if o feel your
saccharinc kisses. send YOU herewith
by express tcharges paid) n phono-
graph. Speak whsteyer words If iov.
YOU fain would say tn me in az ih.
mouth-piece (A), uttering them clearly
and deliberately. while at the same time
You turn the crank OBJ from You with
a uniform motion. Then remove the
tinfoil Cat @ and SEND II "a me. when
|. reversing the process, will be able to
feast in Imagination ON the honcyed
words Of yunr cUrallise lips" etc, etc.
V. Upon the day that Miss Mary -,
Of Ripon, Wis, received her present ~
"A photograph. her brother and herself
became engaged in a controversy of
more than usual acrimony. which ended
in his retiring la the woodshed and
swearing a solemn oath after the man
ner Of bandits asd wizards in the stor-
les Of his favorite publication. the Boys
Perfect hrGte, and .Jar.Hilc Guide 10
Bnrgiayy. that he would be fearfully and
wonderfully avenged. An opportunity
oon offered itself. and when the young
girl had gone out shopping, with a coun-
tenance distorted with maligniiy he
stole on tip-toe to her apartment, and.
Selling her phonograph, turned the
crank with n fcverish hand while into
the funnel he poured, in a voice trem-
bling with rage and triumph-but we
must not anticipate.
VI. On Friday morning the young
Chicago lover received from Miss Mary
-, of Ripon, Wis. a long and loving
letter, inclosing a sheet IF tinfoil. which
he kissed with rapture over and over
again. He could hardly wait till he got
in the evening To read the con-
Of the foil, but he had to. and the
Of this fact enabled him To
pass away the hours that would other
have been insufferable. At last the
long. weary day had passed away,
and. rushing TO his happy boarding
house, he locked the door Of his bed f,
room, placed the tinfoil upon his phono.
turned the crank the reverse
and heard il utter the following
dialogue: "Hello, Mary, old girl. how 4,
goes IL! Epeestweepste." NoTE-This /
IS the nearest possible reproduction Of
the similar sound here produced by the i
monograph. 1t sounds something ike '
= kiss.1 40, Charley, dont-you
squeeze me so; and. there now! my '
is all mussed. How you do smell =
smoke. III never marry you IL you G
20 on smoking So. III marry Wiliie.,'
'NOTE.-The Chicago young mans &
name is William. 30, you wouldn't o
20 back on your word 10 me and marry
hat red-headed, bandy-legged idiot?" il
i. Hush, Charley; he isn't 80 very red G
ieaded after all, and red hair is quite =
fashionable. Besides, il he il handy G
and his brain is not very strong. h
t is not his fault. He is real nice, and
don't want 10 give him the shake till IN
lfter Christmas, for I'm certain he'll
end me some real nice presents, and Of m
under these circumstances / can
Iot listen 10 any dispsraging remarks "a
bout him." .iAll right, Mary. and m
Then we are married -" 40. Char
~, don't; this chair won't bear US il
9th come over To that rocking-chair:
a had a new leg put in, although he 9,
aid you ought 10 pay for it," -. IL
VII. The young Chicago lover heard j,
o more. With n heart-broken moan.
%. Mary, Mary, false-when I thought 81
nee so true." he smashed the photo p'
raph into 963 pieces-which is near m
aough TO the orthodox number Of Loo or
" all practical purposes-made her in
presents, etc, into q neat iT
inclosing in it \ brief note, &C
Go and marry your Charley, you
and false Jade and sen il to u