Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-04
A Man Of "Faith.0

A Man Of ssFaith."
The man who stands on the dry-goods
box on the Campus Martins and tells
the public that the medicine in the lit
tie bottles before him is sure cure for
this or that complaint finds about two
believers out of every 100 who pass. If
he only finds one his expectations are
answered, and he makes a good thing
out of it. He began his talk yesterday
with an audience of one. It was a fat,
feshy young man of rs, with double
chiu and red necK-tie, and "faith was
written across his face in letters broad
and plain.
"Gentlemen," began the vender, as
be looked the young man in the face,
do you have feeling of nashua at
your stomachs? If so, one of these 10
cent bottles of my world pannersea will
instantly relieve and cure"
"Just what I want" replied the young
man, and he laid down 10 cents and took
bottle.
Gentlemen" continued the vender,
do you have backache and chills? II
so, warrant this pannersea to cure you
at two doses. It has been tried by Kings
and Fraperors, and it has given uni
YER"
"Been looking for just this cure"
interrupted the young man, and he paid
for q second bottle and fell back into his
old track.
Gentlemen, it gives me pleasure to
assert that this medicine was originally
invented as cure for headache" softly
remarked the seller. "When I say it
will cure the worst case of headache
ever known in from three to five min
utes, Z solemnly mean what I say. It
has been tried in 10000 cases."
"Might as well knock my headache
while I'm about it, said the young man
to himself. and he laid down O quarter
and received his correct change for
another bottle.
"Ah! gentlemen, it does me good to
see that you appreciate my remedy"
said the vender as he moved the bottles
around. care any of you troubled with
liver complaint or dyspepsia? If so,
try my pannersea. It has relieved and
cured millions of suffering human be-
ings."
The young man was still the only au-
dience. Faith frightened on his face,
and he laid down 10 cents with the re-
mark:
aMy old liver is always kicking mp
trouble, and guess I'll cure herl"
"My fellow-citizens," remarked the
seller as he mopped his face, fare you
troubled with toothache, cutaneous dis
eases, palpitaion of the heart, loss Of
sleep, or ingrowing toe-nails?"
ave arep solemnly replied the young
man, and he invested in another bottle
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS you sub
ject to coughs, hoarseness, bronchitis,
quinsy, consumption, nightmare, loss of
memory, whooping. cough, or falling out
of the hair?"
Hanged if we ain't!" whispered the
young fellow with the double chin, and
he pocketed his sixth bottle and waited
for further oratory. His remarkable
faith staggered the dealer, who finally
said:
Il guess you have enough for this
time. Take according to directions,
you will soon feel the beneficial ef-
fects."
eyes, I win-thank you ever so
much-yes-" stammered the young
man. "This ERE remedy isn't good for
fits, is it?"
"Wen, WELL" slowly answered the
vender-" that is, it is not the regular
cure for fits"
"Then, guess I'll take what I've got
and get cured of all these things you
mentioned, and then 90 for the fits
alone and give 'em thunder and blazes,
wouldn't you?"
81 guess So"
eyes, that's the way. If you bring
out anything for fits I want you to save
me a gallon. I've been under the
weather just as long as I can stand it.
Good-by."-Detroit Free Press.