The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-02-20
ALE SORTS.

defeat by having his hair cut.
-Campanini had "syncope' in st.
Louis. They dc have the funniest
names for mixed drinks in these West
ern towns. Anything to be un American,
Tommy: What does il mean. Sissy
Laying up something for q rainy day 2
Sissy: Don't know, Tommy; 'spect il
means borrowing friend umbrella and
never returning it.
A modern poet in describing the charms
of his true love. says: .! Toasted on her
deep. dark eye. and loved il more and
MORE" The canniball A vulture could
not have acted more savagely. Sonaerville
Journal
"H. Nj. s. Pinafore." translated into
Russian. will be performed simultaneously
ia st. Petersburg and Moscow. We
knew the Gear would yet find way to
drive the Nihilists out OF the country
Boston Post.
A Chinese student at Audover wrote 10
lady's album the following version of q
we'll known poem:
How doth the little sting bug
All the day,
Go pickee up sting bug Juice
From flowers just got busted.
Norfolk County Gczetie
1t was written, her dainty feet we're
encased in shoes that might have been
taken for fairy boots, but the compositor
made it to read, "her dirty feet were in
cased 10 shoes that might have been taken
for ferry-boats," and he is no longer a
dweller in Chicago, but fugitive 10 the
land.
a company Of scapegraces meeting q
pious old man named Samson, one of them
exclaimed: "Ah. now we are safe. Well
take Samson along with US, and then,
should we be set upon by a thousand
Phillistines, he'll slay them ALL" MY
young friend" quietly responded the old
naa. TO do that should have to borrow
your jawbonel
A belle, meeting her rival. said, with
an air of much concern: My dear, how
old you look to dayl | never saw you
looking so old!" WELL" she quietly re.
piled, THAT is not at all wonderful, for,
you see, | never was SO old before as | am
to dayl'
Indianapolis Sentinel The republi-
cans who met on Saturday night seemed
to have had lively time on a resolution
denouncing the third-term movement and
iustructing for Blaine, The famous mon
key and parrot fight was but a skirmish to
it. The chairman, S. j. Peelle. promptly
decided the resolution out Of order, aud
refused to entertain il, Cries of
.'shamei" "sbame!" greeted him from all
over the house. interspersed with such
tender epithets as ''cowardly," etc. A
strong opposition to Grant was manifested,
but Peelle declared the meeting adjourned
before az expression could be had on the
resolution. PeelIe will do to g. to Chics
20 Mr. New.
st. Paul Pioneer Pess: Mr.. Wash
burne is the natural heir of Gen. Grants
strength and has nothing TO lose by keep
ipg 10 the background until his inheritance
shall fall to him. He has great deal to
gain by not antagonizing other candidates
in the early days of the contest. He is
happily free from antagonisms now and by
keeping himself SO will be more likely
than anyone else to gain the prize when
the .avorites shall have cut each others
threats. Peopis who want postofices
and things will do we'll to keep an eye on
Mr. Washburne.
Neao Y ork Nation; Now. what Gen.
Grants supporters propose Is, in fact,
that in case he-one of the candidates
should not be satisfied with the decision
of congress, he should count the votes him
self, admitting such as he thought entitled
to admission and rejecting oil others, and
that il the result thus reached satisfied
him he was elected. he should take pos
session of the white house with an armed
force and should set the majority in both
houses of congress- at defiance and begin
the di,charee of executive functions,
There are probably Tot many Of them
who like to see the plan set down in this
way in black and white beforehand. but
there is no denying the correctness of this
description of it. This is what is meant,
and The only thing that car be meant, by
choosing military man for the presi
dency, Because it elected (iu his own opin-
ion) he will SEQ that he gets the place. -
L. plain English il means revolution. It
means the introduction into the govern
ment of the practice of having each can
didate pass on his own claims 20 ;ae presi-
deuoy and thea faht 10 order to assert
them, II means that we have reached .
stage in our politics in which strstegical
skill and military courage are the best
qualification for our chief officers, as they
were for the kings OF the Huns, Visigoths,
and Lombards.
Bloomington Paragraph: The speech
Of Judge Davis in the senate. the other
day, upon the Geneva award bill, able
though it was, will not it would seem, be
sufficient to convince that body that the
insurance companies are entitled to the
balance of the Geneva award fund. now
in the treasury. The bill is not likely to
pass this session, and the subject which
has caused congress no little amount of
;rouble already. is to continue an elephant
upon it's hands for few years more. Ill
England had not overeached ua ia Hall
AK fishery award. by fraud and forgery,
here might be some reason in the sug-
yestion that we return to her the money
allowed on the Alabama claims on account
Vt loss 10 the marine insurance compsn-
es, But as the matter now stands il
would hardly be expected thststhe United
states should pay back money, even
hough we should be convinced that it |
vas wronefuly allowed to us iu the first
,lace. England must FIRST pay us about
i've and half millions conscience money
'efore we can think of entertaining any
proposition looking to readjustmsut of
IL