Connecticut western news., 1880-11-03
WIT AND WISDOM.

ENEh1IhlN0 Soou lu LhdiA AOUho OA higher. r.-Enaerson.
 THE man who uttered burning words consumed much time ill making his speech.
 SINCE the recent earthquake in one of the Fiji islands the inhabitants have been very Fijity.
 BEWARE of those who are homeless by choice. You have no hold on @ man whose affections have no tap-root.
 SOMEBODY writes in Harper's Monthly apoem about "The Broken Bars" It doesn't state that they kept slates, but we presume they did.
 THE villager who won't take sides in 8 qurrrel between two neighbors draws the ire of both, where he could have escaped with the enmity of one.
 SEEK not so much to know thy ene- mics and friends for where one man has fallen by foes, hundred have been ruined by acquaintances.
 TRE greatest heresy that can deceive the human mind is the heresy that makes man believe that he can meet with mercy while he lives in sin.
 HOPE never hurt any one-never yet interfered with duty; nay, always struggles to the performance of duty, gives courage and clears the judgment.
 ANY woman who can write ten-line item for newspaper on the care of five-cent plant through the winter, has a right to corkscrew curls and literary air.
 NOTHING so takes the conceit out of the average man as to order his paper discontinued and then see the editor going right along and getting rich with out him.
 WE ARE now prepared to receive poems about the winters chill, bleak blast" Waste paper is worth nine cents pound, and our stock of spring poetry has run out. -r-
 Coo1 BURGESS was robbed of dia- mond pin, but before he could use the fact as an advertisement the thief sent it back with note to the effect that he could buy better ones for dollar.-De- troit Free Press.
 Ar the Police Correctionelle.-- Madame Barnabe, you are accused of having thrown basin of dirty water in the complainant's face." "It is true, Monsieur le President, but certainly thought it was my husband. "-FigGro.
 A school teacher asked little Johnny if he understood the meaning of the verse: "It is better to give than to receive ?'' He replied that he did, and when asked for an illustration, said :: "It's much better to give a fellow 6 punch in the nose than to receive one. I've tried lem both"
 ANYTHING new or fresh this morn- ing?" a reporter asked in Q railroad office. "Yes," replied the lone occu- pant of the apartment. "What is it ?" queried the. reporter, whipping out his note book. Said the railroad man, edg- ing his way toward the door: "That pant you are leaning against" The railroad man is now in the hospital, and the reporter is in jail.
 "CHANaE cars for New York;" cried the brakeman of the Great Western Railroad express at Clifton, Ont. An old man had just changed routes, but not for New York. He expired alone and uncared for. He was over seventy, had come from Council Bluffs. Thirty three dollars in gold were found on him, together with $245 in bills tied in an old handkerchief around his neck. :; SAYS the Detroit Free Press: "Wheth- CT it is that the recent playrights desire to obtain favor with newspapers or not, thefact remains that the journalist looms up in many of the later plays and operas. '' Oh, my, it isn't that, you know. But they have found out that there is no one so thoroughly hero surrounded by TO- nance as is an editor none are so good, so noble, and at the same time so mod est. -Bosto7l Post.
 THE funniest man in all the town
 He thought himself, did MT. Brown.
 While at the club one night he saw
 new silk tile upon the floor,
 And winking to the crowd so slick
 He gave the hat gentle kick;
 And then another, just to show
 That wit from empty heads can flow.
 All caught the humor of his fun
 To kick the hat they vied each one. There neer was such 0 jolly crowd, And MT. Brown felt very proud,
 And when leave-takiugs cams broad smiles
 All wore while putting on their tiles,
 Save MT. Brown, whose mirth was flown. The hat, so crushed was all his own.