Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-11-26
Political Economy.
Mrs Sppopendyke Takes her First Les
SON under IA Compcteat Instructor.

takes her FIRST Les
SON under IA Compctent Instructor.
" Now my dear" said Mr.. Spoop.
eudykc, "lf YOU will come aud 81,
down here, I'll explain the political
situation to you. / am glad to see
you take ali interest in such things
for everybody ought to thoroughly
understand what is going on in the
country"
"I'vo been reading about them
every day" rejoined Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke, and | think l know q good
deal about politics Dow," and the
good lady turned turkey red with
the idea that she had excited her
husbands ADMIRATION. Il think Mr..
Garfield is too sweet to live, and
that dear Mr.. Hancock is just as
nice as can be- They are ever so
much better than that odious Eng
lish and Arthur. Oh! If l was a
man l would vote foi Garfield and
Hancock.
THAT amt the way to Talk poll
tics" sneered Mr.. Spoopendyke
81 Thought you said you knew some
thing about it, Got an idea That
Garfield and Hancock are some kind
of bonnet, haven't YOU? Well, they
amt, and they aiu't foreign Bible
society, either"
DO you like English and Arthur
best? They may be good men for
the Presidency, but / saw more in
the papers abou. Garfield and Han
cock, and | thought they must be
splendid. Perhaps was mistaken.
Garfield and Hancock amt run
ming together, ! tell ye," retorted
Mr.. Spoopendyke. " They are run
ming against each other
" There's another thing" said
Mrs. Spocpendyke, conplacently;
" If they are doing that, English and
Arthur arc the best. They are per-
feet gentleman, and Mr.. Arthur is
so handsome. / saw his picture"
"Dont You know anything at all, +,
scarcely?" demanded Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke. English and Arthur amt
twins, they are running against each
other, too. Where'd you find out
about politics, anyway-in cook
book P'raps you think these can
dda:es are vegetables, Mrs. Spoop.
enlyke. But they amt, they're men,
with arms and legs; they amt things
to make pudding Of.
Certainly, l know that re-
sponded Mrs. Spoopendyke cheer
fully, but if Mr.. Garfield is run
ming against Mr.. Hancock, and Mr..
English is running against Mr.. Ar
thur, | don't see what we'ie going to
do. How are we going to choose?"
But they've got to run against
each other, exclaimed Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, with rising emphasis. You
don't suppose candidates all run to-
gether like lot of hens do ye?'
If Mr.. Hancock and Mr.. Gar
field run against each other, won't
Mr. Hancock have the best of ?'
"Why should he? demanded
Mr. Spoopendyke.
"'Cnuse he's so big. If they we're
running together he'd get beat,
cause he S too fat. He couldn't
Does anyone i'll the country
know what you're talking about ?
DO you 'spose they stand off and
bump up against each other like Il
couple of fleight trains? Got an
idea they are going to ro'l up their
trousers and run leg race? l tell
We Hancock is running for one Pres
ident and Garfield is running for
another. Now, dye understand .
"Oh, that's it. Now | begin to
see into it, returned Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, ioyously. SO if You want to
vote for two men for the President,
Won must vote for English and Ar
! thur. l understand 1t perfectly
now. But
/ "Oh, yes, you understand it, don't
We" yelped MIR. Spoopendyke.
!" You're the politician of seven ages.
All YOU need is registration book
and brass band to be- II whole polit-
ical campaign. l tell you Hancock
is running for President. Can you
understand that?'
Yes, l do; but do you think
Arthur and English will get it?
read in one"
"Get it? They both can't get it.
Only one Of them can get it, ex.
claimed Mr.. Spoopendyks, suppress
ing his passion. What do you
think the Vice Presidency is, a pail
of piseon-holes One of 'em will
be President and the other Vice
President. Now, can you bore tina
through your skull and remember
it"
Why, of course; but I feel sorry
for poor Mr.. Hancock. They'll be
awfully disappointed, but of course
we can't help it. Which will b'
President, do you think, Mr.. Arthur
or Mr. English
,.t ;to'' royn.l Mr. Snppn