The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-07-06
GOVERNMENT BONDS.
Enormous Sums of Cash Sailed
Down by Sedalls Printers
in Bonds.

Yesterday . gentleman came into the
news-room of the BAz0O and said, 81 have
little money that 1 think Of investing il
government bonds can any Of you tell me
the size Of the smallest U. s. bond?" Thu
foreman said, I'VE have never had any gov
eminent bonds in our family, and am moi
posted on them, but there's couple Of re.
porters sitting Over here writing, who car
probably tell you ali about it," One Of the
fstser-shovers looking up in answer to ths
gentleman's inierrogating smile, said. 81
never saw any of them, excep, once; &
tramp printer who Was 'subbing' on the
Kalamazoo Fog Horn, while was reporting
on that paper in 1873, had one. He called
il $50; l suppose that meant tina, it re.
qnired i've dollars and twenty cents to buy
it. think it drew interest at six per cent
month. and eight yer cent. additional H
agreed: Assessed and liquIdated damages for
non payment at maturity, and three pc,
cent. on the principal as attorneys fee., 10
CAGE suit was brought on it TO collect il. Ii
was non-iaxabIe, fire, weather, burglar and
pxnic-prcof. Still, my knowledge Of u. s.
bonds is, stranger, Ia draw ii mildly, rather
dim" '-ParJ," continued he, speaking to
the other reporter, sd, You know anything
about this bond business" His co-pencil
pushsr, vino had been looking through
the dictionary sni bible Concordance,
closing the two books, said, mo natter what
bonds are, or what size they are, they a-e
unsafe investments in these days Of fuciu-
sting values. Ii the gentleman desires his
funds 10 be -srnre, AM to pay him fr,qne',t
and heavy .Iarginss there are several DAnp
employees who will take his money aud
give him good personal security for the
s=ine, ioI long or short ti'ae, in small or
large amounts, long time and large amounts
preferred" The gentleman indicated no
desire TO invest his cash in tha: way. All
the com positors were then asked To leave
their coses and contribute heir know ledge
Of bonds to the gentleman. They all de-
clared they had nsver studied upon the
question, and knew nothing about ~. Tie
gentleman was taken into The bin.iery de-
partment Of the BAzoo. Tie foreman there,
being askcd ~ TO bonds, said, 'do you mean
bonds of matrimOny, OF bOnis to keen the
peace Oh, ver, know . family Of that
name in Arksnsaw. but they we're all hung
for stealing horses"
"What is the smallest. siz ii government
bond?" inquired the gentleman.
"Weli," replied the affable boss, "the
smallest ones, shonld Judge, are about 6
by 8 inches. They were formerly made of
light bond psr'er. but now If the same pa
per currency.'
"How much money il required to buy
One?" inquired the gentleman.
The bin.iery boss replied, Il have not the
most distant idea. have never been tn, re-
I'll ask the hands"
He INTERCEPTED all the hands; nule of
them had ever heard of the bonds Of tie
United States; did not know she had any;
always supposed abe vas . free, and not q
bonded nation.
The gentleman was then taken to the Job
room in search Of the information. ihe
foreman, in reply TO his question said:
81 never heard of them; We never printed
any in this job ROOM; .son't re, ollect ever
having seen the boys distributing the,n
about the streets, or children playing with
them"
do you, boys?" asked he of the sweating
hsnds, % he called them up from work. aud
. chorused mol" settled the question xs to
the extent Of their knowledge on the sub
ject.
The boys in the press room informed the
gentleman that they had heard If govern
ment bonds. bnt could not enlighteu him a.
to their size. use, age, color, sex, pedigree.
record. politics, religion, or previous condi-
ton Of servitude.
The Office boys were no better posted.
Several Journalistic, reporter, and others,
we're interviewed on the street, but in vain.
They had heard OF bonds, but knew rub
stantislly nothing about them. The gen.
tieman Jaw a chronic loafer attitujinizing
in front Of . business house. With polished
bootr, fine clothes, and no visible means of
support, who had never been guilty of doing
an honest days work in his life, and never
intended to, and he ssked him about the
bund..
"Yes." he replied, 81 can tell you ell
about it," and he began talking of the va
Tious Is-ues OF bond-, their size, interest
hearing qualities, etc, in a manner
shat would have caused old Secretary
of the Treasury Sherman, TO feel himself
ignorant of b0nda, and take Q back seat
The gentleman vas satisfied, and 40 is the
loafer, end 40 are all the parties.
By the way, what is the smallest sized
government bond?