The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-07-16
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MAKING AMENDS:
s nae Curious incidents.


cline to accept a bare acknowledgment
s Indebtedness as equivalent to a fifty p.
# cent, dividend. Much depends upon Il
!, manner of confession. It is possible
It admit wrong in such a way as to add
y the original offenee-a method Of maxim
amends often adopted by the too read
: writers of the press when victims to the
: inventiveness claim repafation at the
e hands.
e Not long ago, Il South London pape
q amused its readers by informing them ths
2 the officials of the Southwark Count
! IEGoult 4llad, in expectation ola visit fror
the neWly-appointed judge, ssPut on clea
: shirts, and had easy shases. The gen
tlemcn concerned did not appreciate tfli
pleasantly, and let the editor know it
EWhereupoil@ he eannounced that Th
Eofticia1sss.ditl not put on clean shirts, no
: were they shaved OH the dayain question:,
a and expressed the hope that every body
Il would be satisfied. Strangely enough, tht
officials of the country court were not.
IL 4 French Journalist made no attempt a
Justification when an irate novelist, knoWf
to be as clever with the pistol and ths
II5sword is lie was with the pen, gave hin
the choice of apologizing for. u certain
satiricals sketch, or meeting the subject o.
/ it in the field. Not desiring to perma.
nentlv yacatc the editorial chair, the Of
fender took the alternatives; and after dis
claiming any intention to annoy the
! romancist, Went on: @Rest assured, sir,
that win not repeat the offence; for
most solcmnly promise you that never by
any chance, or under any circumstances,
shall your name appear in my Journal J
And vet the aggrieyed author was not
happy. s--@.=
+ American editors are not Of an apolo>
gctic order; but that they can, if necessity
eompeIs, make the dn1enae hoMOwJIe, let
/ this specimen show: 'tIhere is a fly in
our office, one particular aggressive fly.
distinguished from its brethren by a per-
tinacity and untiring eneregY thatif prop
erlv directed is enough to make him Presi-
dent. Other flies we can dispose of by
whiskhlgs Il paper at them, OF putting them
out of the window But this fly we can't
manage. We don't ike to kill flies. There
is something so confiding about them that
it seems like breach Of hospitality to kill
them That fly tumbles into our inkstand
crawls out, and dries his little feet by
walking over our paperas we write. The
compositor has hard work to deeper our
manuscript sometimes. And in this con-
nection we would make slight correction.
In the last number of our paper We called
the Hon. Mr. ian unprincipled dema-
gogue, we should have said "a higl-toned
patriot 1t was all the fault of that fly.
The honorable, gentleman's brother came
into oult;otfice this morning with a new
and substantial-looking cane, and reminds
ed lis of the misprint.n If this worthy
was 1iable3to having his ingenuity much
taxed in this way he would have done
well to have initiated AN accommodating
brother who gave notice: -If amy sub
does not like and cannot agree with, if he
will bring his paper to the Office and point
out the offending line, the editor will take
his scissors and cut it out for him. y
The judge, addressed by an apologizing
counsel with, .Your lordship is right,
and L am WRONG, as your lordship gener-
ally ie,' might reasonably be uncertain
whether the learned gcntieman was .cot11-
plimenting Or disparaging the court; but
Mr.. Commissioner Kerr could have no
doubt respecting the sentiments of a Wit
mess who persisted i'll addressing him as
tmy lord' and ssyour lordship," and
when told heSmust not do SOL am not a
lord, and you must not call me so'1--re-
piled, 'sI'hen, my lord, if your lordship
isn't your lordslip, your lordship ought
to BET"
4 dramatist sitting by :; friend ut a
theatre cohtrived 10 extract handker-
chief from his poetlet, and transfer it to
his own, Presently, a man behind him,
tapping him on the shoulder, Whispered,
Il. Beg pardon, there's your purse. Didn't
know you belonged to the profession: all
right at the same time slipping into
the amutcurs hand the purse he had ex-
tracted from his pocket. The story may
pass, for although honor among thieves
has no existence, it is probable that regu-
lo1. practitioners act on the principle that
dog should not eat dog. That they ever
60 an inch beyond that we do not believe,
even though we have it on the authority
of the Gdu7ois that Charles Dickens once
lost his watch ut a theatre III Paris, and
found it at his hotel with note running
ss9ssii1yY;s--.I hepe you;=WiIl excuse me, but
!! / thought was dealing with a Frenchman,
and not Il eountryman. Finding out my
mistake. Iastcn to repair it by returning
herewith the watch stole from Vosl. /
beg YOU to receive the homage of my re-
| spect, and to beHey ye=ine.zny dear country
nm, your hlllalllcza.ld ohe0ient servant,
4 Pickpocket.
little anevtote Sc trlt., NC should rather
attribute tIerestoratiol. to the pirkpoekcts $
appreciation Of his victim s genius, than
lis consideration iol, lis nationality.
"A Well-cdltcatee yolulg Irisl,ntan. filling
the post OF cashier in 4 Liverpool house OF
/ reDute, &decalnEel one fine day with three
thousand pounds of his employers money.
| Nothing was heard of him fprysone, Years,
when the firm received packet by post
from the iong-missing one, containing I'LL
order upon bank for three thousand
pounds, and five per cent. interest on the
SUN, from the time the sender had de-
ca1nped The packet also contained an
i account of his career since. On reaching
America, he had obtained asituation III q
i New York dly-gootls store, and remained
in it till the outbreak Of the civil war
His governor was an enthusiastic Re
i publican, and offered to advance !; large
/ sum of money to any of his clerks who
8 volunteered for. the army. The frisiltnal
I was tile first 10 close with the offer: saw
service ut Fredericksburg, Seven Oaks
and other hard-fonght fields; was witt
Sherman, under whom he heldsi suborll:
nate command in the famous march to tflt
j sea, and wound up by marrying th,
i wealthy young widow. ofa Northern gen,
feral who felIsat Gettysburg; 9; Il the last ex
Eploit enabling him 70 make CHI amends az fo
] the nlisleed of his hot youth. .#ai
Not quite 81 genuine vas The repent
Hanee of All inventor Ot i tab:ieso stick
whatever that may be, who tie Faleigl
:. zgetrs tells US. was summoned to5appea
j j before the BFetllren and sisters of hi
! Tehtrefl to answer sundry charges Of drum
kenness. He pleaded guilty expresse'