Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19

| the beating OF her own heart, full of a dread
terror of the waning moon, OF herself, Of him, Of
beat,-beat, within her own. She saw herself az
the door Of the almshouse In a county mile,
| away and then was olankness and darkness for
| while, and after that her last drop of sweet.
| ness and tenderness. The little creature that
| for ten months lay In her arms nestled In her
bosom, brought comfort with the touch OF that
| little hand patting her cheek or touching her
| neck. with his little soft baby cooings and his
ey es, so like the eyes that had once looked int
hers SO tenderly. Her Life was full OF work. for
they let her stay because she was SO useful and
| they said she had reformed.
She heard them say 1T and it seemed strange,
and yet she knew she was an awful sinner,-but
| she hadn't meant to be. She was going to be
| good, OF course she was and when baby was old
enough TO wean she'd go to work again in the
m mi ana perhaps some day-some bright day
And then there was that dreadful time when
everybody was sick and had sore throat-how
carefully she guarded her sweet blossom and
and could not let him go, there came time in
| the gray early morning when he went away and
| even her arms could not hold him.
Then-days OF misery and Illness and at last
her going back to Gropetown, where she had
| fTiends-or so she thought. They would be
sorry for her, and the overseer, he knew her
ne would help her. That going hOne How
she saw 1t all-her mother gone, killed by her.
| they told her,-the door that had once led +,
| home shut in her face with curse. a few days
| OF half-stupefied work In the mill and then the
| discharge because the Oyerseer said, "The girls
| say they won't have you stay. Jane, so you'll
have to go, and am sorry, too.n Her dreary
longing for courage 10 jump In. and then the
| tempter's voice that said, "Oh come on!-hes
married long ago. Come on!-I'n take care Of
| you"
His care!-his f1inging aside, and then do w
| downtown, and at last "The Crows Nest"
drunkenness desolation, starvation, what
next?
Death-hell? Death perhaps and what mat
ter about hell!-what had she 10 fear more-she
lived In hell
1t was dark. the noises in the house grew
louder-some one tried her door. and wnen sh e
did not stir turned away with an oath, mutter-
ing: ''Out such damned night"
All the lights except one or two here and there
were put out in the mills, and those few made
the darkness still more wretch ed, for they shot
their radiance over the black W alter and showed
with horrible thirst consuming her and still
those words dancing In her brain-"belOVed
w1fe-beloved WIFE"
good II any ody'd love me.-lf she would love
me- they say she Is so good and kind and she
was little girl when | was The sweet
daughter OF the agent.-Agnes Palmer,-how
everybody loved her. the pretty little girl Of
old days had grown into the lovely, graceful
woman. with sweet, CAIN, placid face that told
Jenny had seen her as she drove about
town In her pretty pheten, and she had al
ways loved her, even from the time when she had
first seen herin church so long ago. And she had
such strange feeling about her,-it seemed
that goodness would come to her Ii Agnes
would only speak or touch her, she was so diff
ferent from every body elSe,-SO good, she didn't
know how bad people were-they said her mo-
Their was good. too,-but somehow not the same
not like Agnes; her mother knew about sin
and how bad people could be, but Agnes,-she
was good all through. Ii she would only love
her. Would she, If she told her how she would
be good, how she would, indeed IL she would
only love her little and give her some work to
do and let her be near her? Surely some of her
purity and sweetness would come upon one
even so vile as she, If she would only speak to
her, and touch her.
she hated to be wicked. she wanted to be
good, but how? Once long ago she wandered
10 the church where she had once gOne-She
longed to throw herself upon the floor before
them all and cry-"O God, have mercy on me.
have mercy on me-"
But she didn't dare to take seat unasked
and the people at the door hesitated and made
way when she went into the porch, and she felt
them shrinking from her, aud turned her back
upon them with curse uttered aloud instead
OF the prayer she had lOnged to speak and
went away turned to bitterness.
=, But now again, once more, she felt this
longing for new life-"beloved wlfe-beloved
soul. Blindly, weakly, She staggered to her i
feet, first to the pitcher for dfink,-but no
water was there; then to tumble for shawl
that she drew over her head, and blindly grope
for the door, her only conscious thought wish
to find Agnes and to be good like her. Once
long ago she learned hymn that said 'the
y1lest sinner e may redurn",the West sinner
would-'t elOved wire"-"beloved;@ Az
mes love her? Sac would lie under her feet yes
under the feet OF the very horse that she drove.
II she would love her and speak to her and
touch her.
The air revived her as she reached the door
unseen by any one. There was pump in The
yard and she stopped, and too weak to pump
any fresh water, she took some In her hands
from the trough beneath and drank-passed her
wet hands over her face and dried 1t with cor
ner OF her skirt-She would 60 and find Agnes
yes, even at her house, she would find her some
way.
All! how thirsty she was. how thirsty, Init
she was Steadier on her feet and she walked I'D
the street. The window of the village reStau-
rant was bright, and good smell of coffee came
rom rom the grating below: Faint and sick, she
bright light shone full in her face. group
men came from the opposite direction, and 3
they passed recognized her.
"Hallo, it's Jen." cried one; ''cOme on Jen -
and ne pulled her by the shoulder.
BE you? What's up?"
She shook her head.
"Oh Say-come on, Bfll"-called another
give her enough for drink that's what's the
matter there" and the speaker tossed ten cents
towards her-it fell at her feet, and they passed
on Laughing and 1eerlng. All but the man who
spoke first.
Say, are you sick, Jen? that's too bad, you
look sick too-hungry? Here" and he thrust
some money into the hand that held the shaw
over her head and went on.
She stood still, holding the money, but too
| wanted. where to go or what to do except to
ind her. Her angelic face seemed to float be-
| fore her In the air.
Two men passed her and then stopped at the
door OF the store Il say said one, 'let'S 60 in
and get cup Of coffee, it's raw night, and
gong 10 snow, and It's long ride over there
aid they went In.
"a cup OF coffee" yes, that was it, she wanted
cup or cofee, and She followed them.
There was no one In the front store but
woman, but back at the little tables were some
gay young people and the two men who had
passed Eer. The door was heavy, she had hard
work 10 get 1t open, Il slipped from her hand
and went to with heavy bang that attracted
the attention OF every one.
Jenny stood for moment wavering and I'M
certain, While for the same moment curious
| eyes were turned upon her. The girls looked up
| at her and then away from her and burst into a
| gayer rattle OF talk than before; the young men
| with them gave significant glance at each
other ana then took NJ more notice. The two
| men stared and listened for what was coming.
| for they had nothing else to do.
The woman in charge looked hesitated md at
! last moved along behind the counter toward
Jenny as she with tagging and hesitatlng steps
approached.
| IL want cup of coffee" and she held out
| the money In her hand, silver quarter.
| The woman really had kindly heart, she
| Knew who Jenny WaS-much of her history but
| there were customers there, and it was her daily
| bread that came into the question, her heart
| hardened.
| ~ haven't any for you,D she said in a low
| voice with quick glance over her shoulder.