Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1880-01-31
Mine Drouble Nit Brown.

Any gentleman vOt will go around YOU
face. and talk i'm front of your pack apOu
something's, is shvindler. | hear do
Brown say week pefOre next apOut me
vos a hen-specked husband. Dot vOs
liza. De proof of de eating vas in de pud
dings; | am married twenty years already
and vas not bald-headed. don't vas
OOnder some pettygOats government
shtill, / links it vas peter if a Teller vii
insult NIT his wife und got her adyices
apOut something's or oder.
Dem American vOmanS don't know
something nefer apOut her huspand's
beesness, ind ven dem hart times, und
not so much money comes i'm de hOnse
dot makes not some difference NIT her
Shtill, she must nave one of dot pull
back in de front h0Op-skirt pettygOats
nit every kind of trimmings. Poorly
soon dot husbands got pankrupted all to
peeees. ley send for de doctor, und ven
de doctor comes de man dies. Den dot
woman vOs Opleeged to marry nit anOder
mans dot she don't maybe like nit four,
six chiltrens on account of his first wife
already, und possibly one or two mudders-
by-law-vun SecOnd-handed. und de oder
ep-mudder-Outlaw. Den she says
nit herself, II often wish l was dead a
little"
Now, if Chermans goes dead dot
makes no difference. NOpOdy would know
it, except himself. His wife goes on NIT
de peesness shust like nOtings has hap
pened to somebody.
American vOmans and Cherman vO-
mans vas different kind of peoples. Fer
instinct, dot same Teller goes NIT me i'm
de butcher peesneSs tOgedder. He vas
an American man-sO vas his wife. Veil.
many times, ven efery peepless got de
panics pOOty bad, dot woman comes to
her husband and says she mOOst have
money. Den she goes out riding nit a
carriage.
VOnce upon time Brown says to me,
Bender, wouldn't be hen-specked." So
he vent off and got himself tight shust
because his wife tell him please don't do
it. Den he sits down NIT his back on
de floor, und if am not dere dot time he
nefer would got home.
Veil, dot night me und mine wife, We
had little talk apout something's, und
de next day | says to Brown, Look here
yOnst. My wife she makes saSsages, und
works i'm de sthOre und makes head
sheese; und your wife vas gOin out riding
all de time NIT de hOrse-car und patent
tied back cardinal striped stocking.
Now your wife must go to work i'm de
sthOre, und cut beefsteaks und make
sauerkraut, or else we divides not equally
any more do profits"
Veil, Brown goes home, und he tells
his wife about dot. Den she come pOOty
quick with Brown around, und misun
derstandings apOut something's, in vich
Everybody took part, including my
little dog Kaiser. Poorly soon up comes
policeman, und arrested us for breeches
of promises to keep the pieces und as
saulting de battery or Something's. Den
de firm of Bender g. Brown vas broken
up. go apOut my beesness, und Brown
goes NIT his peesness. My wife she helps
in de sthOre. His wife 60 riding NIT de
hOrse-car, und efery night she vas by a
theatre.
Volts de consequences? Along comes
dot Centennial panic. Dot knocks Brown
higher as two kites, by jimmy! My in
come is still more as my outcome. But
Brown, he goes around de shtreets nit his
hands out of his pocket, und he don't get
a cent to his pack.