The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-03-18
Sense and Nonsense.

Sense and Nonsense.
How TO make crockery ware-Dont
use it. IL = 49,. ! =.
Is RAm-wArzR soft water when it
rains hard? t-.,-.. =.
TIE board of education school.
masters shingle. ...
y Why Is lazy man like . magician?
Because he works by spells.
OoaK was tho material Of which the
ancient Egyptians made collins, but the
moderns have changed the uses Of this
article from grave to gay purposes.
On Q dark night, with four clothes
lines stretched across tho back yard, the
most sensitive part of q man is his high
hat.
"THAT's what beats me-" as the boy
said when he saw his father take the
skate strap downsfrom it's accustomed
nail.
"THEN, I suppose, Miss Strongmind,
you and Mr.. Sparrow are soon to he
man and wife?" "No, sir; woman and
husband"
AN 1rishman tells of fight in Which
there was only one whole nose left in
the whole crowd, "and that belonged
to the tea-kettle."
ENGLAND is the only country in
which, for the most part, the land is
owned by one man, farmed by the geo.
ond and titled by third.
Il All astonished, my dear young
lady, at your sentiments; you make me
start!" "Well, sir, I've been waiting
for you to start for the last hour"
A PROPER conclusion for the marriage
ceremony in many of our fashionable
society" weddings would be, "what
commercial interests have joined to-
gether let not ill-temper put asunder!"
c1oTHEs-11NE is . harmless thing
When stretched from pole to pole,
Until you start across the yard
And step into hole; -
u stops you, 50 to speak, 49,
And throws yoa down and jerks you to
The middle q necks tweek.
A LONG housewife article has been
written on "How to Make & Rag Rug"
It is long process. The quickest way
to make rag rug is to knock "a" letter
out of tho rag and put u" in the mid
die.
A South AMERICAN plant has been
found that cures bashfulness. It should
be promptly tried on the man who leaves
the hotel by the back window because
he is too diffident to say good-by to the
cashier and clerk.
"FULLNEss under the eye denots 3
language" we are told. So it does.
and, We fear, bad language, too, at times.
In recent instance a fullness Under
the eye denoted that the posssessor had
called man liar.
THE hoof of a trotting horse comes
to the ground so nearly fiat that no in
strument exists fine enough to discover
whether the fore or the hind part
touches the turf first. It is believed
that they strike at precisely the same
moment.
THE practical joking too common in
French institutions on the admission of
neophyte has led to painful incident
at Anglers. A youth named Guyot, on
entering the Ecole des Arts ct Metiors,
was so squeezed against table, or be-
tween two tables, that he was taken
home lopelessly ill, and died in four
days.
The most agreeable of all compan-
ions is simple, frank man, without any
high pretensions to an oppressive great
| ness; one who loves life, and under
| stands the use of it; obliging alike, ut
MI hours above all, of golden temper,
| and steadfast as all anchor. For such
IN one we glatly exchange the greatest
genius, the most brilliant wit, the pro-
foundest thinker.-Lessimg.
AL1TrLE girl shut up as punishment
for some fault in her fathers barn at
Baud (Morbihan) in France, was killed
by Il wolf, which by climbing a rubbish
heap was able to enter by the roof. The
family had been at work in the folds at
some distance, and on the father OPEN
ing the door to release the child the
wolf sprung out and made off, leaving
on the floor tho half-devoured remains
! of it's victim.
A CONFIRMED card player became con-
vinced that card-playing was wrong
perhaps because he had long run of
bad luck, and perhaps for higher reasons.
He broke the subject very gently to his
companions when they were busy at
their favorite game by saying, seriously,
"Well, friends, I think after all that a
great deal of valuable time is wasted in
playing cards." His partner. who never
dreamed of the depth of his remark,
answered, Yes, I've often thought so,
too. Now, just think, for instance, how
much time we waste in shuffling."
ALPHABET OF GEMs.-A diamond
dealer gives the following alphabet Of
gems, by tho guide of which any En-
gllsh word can be spelled out on ring,
bracelet or other article of jcwelry, with
a setting of stones:
A-Amethyst. N-Natrolite.
B-Beryl. O-Opal or ONYX.
C-Cat's-Eye. P-Porphyry.
D-Dianlond. Q-Quartz Agate.
E-Emerald. R-Ruby.
F-Feldspar. S-Sapphire.
G-Garnet Turquoise.
H-Hyacinthe. U-Ultramarine
I-1docrase. Y-Verd- Antique.
Jasper. W-Water Sappl,ire.
K-Kyanite. X-Xanthite.