The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-06-22


lcoSs A>p Irr - All scRsrcH.I
Senator ingalls, Gays senator VOORHEES,
is drunkard Voorhee. says Ingalls, il .
lisr.-7sisgo'n.
A Sedal,a man ssy- they both tell the
truth.
A woman isn't III Ia have . babv Who
doesn't know how to hold it.-!SnsAdy SrAadi
.Nsandurd.
Tsue, true: hut they ought to get mp
babies that are not addicted to that habit. : !.
There are . few msrried men Who
woald like to kuow shs, Mr.. Blaine nsed
on iAil hsmilton TO keep her quiet during
his Campaign against Grant.
II don't necessarily follow that he used
anything ON her. tie fired "txfiy" at her,
probably, and 1t ,o"k effect.
-SpurgsOn said m . recent sermon !:
The sorship Vi the golden calf IL pretty
general now. '-Ose " oT iioSs Exchanges.
The BAzoO il not doing much this year
10 the worship line; in fact. il sin't co,
time; but il would like to have . hind
quarter Vi ths, golden calf mighty veil.
A youngs,er i,yiully assured his mush-
sr the other day that he had found out
Shere thew made hors~~: he had seen q man
finishing one-"hs wss j'ssi mailing on his
last iOot. "-!Sexnfiac lmsrir.n
Another young-ter startled his mother
by announcing that he had found out where
they IN ale people, he had seen a m,n nm
i-hing o.'e-''he wss j,,,t putting in the
Last tooth" lie Wa dentist.
An Ohio sislow owed her hired man
$50. She married him Ia -lusre the &C.
count, md ,bsn fcr 500 SECURED a divorce
md turned him out B1stoa Bsm B6ks,.
$50 "a. ton mnch for him to pay. Gun
-id~ring hos ,hickly i, Ia huddied around
camp ms~'i"g., and IN fact the great
AbundAncr all over the cos"iry 81 the aood
girl- Who w"nId marry him Tor iast his
hand and heart, without any Pecuniary
confederation.
In the in,er.>, of public morals shos~
should h~ looked naturalization Adrocafs
II 10 M, appropriate ior very religious
Uer-on- L. go ie~iing around such worldly
things send ,hose ladis~ and dresses To
the BAzou Office. and aoz-n employee will
leave their wOsk instantly and look into
those low mech ell dre~ses. NJ experts, and
enter into bond. not to touch any OF the
furniture found hanging therein, unles. in
the ini~ress OF public morals il becomes sb-
soluiely necessary. Send then, around nj
once. Of6ce hour a, all ,i~e-.
A Kentucky girl ssy. shea abe dips
che desires ,o have tob-ccu planted over
her grave, that the weed, nourished BY her
body, may Be- chewe'3 BY her deceased low
~. There IL poetry in the ideA.-CA;ea9o
Tribune
And have him sit on her tombstone, his
leg dangling, and the heels Of his No. 10
boots kicking the eyes out Of the little
doves and angels carved IN her head board,
and occasionally lean over backward and
bite Oh the end If leaf Of tob ,cco plant,
chew il, and using her grave ~ spitioon,
sqnir, tobacco Juice all over it. She would
make fine looking angel tn don white
wings after her lover had sat around there
. frw months and squirted tobscco juice
over the grave, and il had soaked down
through the soil and !rescoed the remains.
The world may .neer At DR.. Mary
Walker, but, after ell, she can 10 What
most women caanot She can ride bicycle
without shosing her gar,en.-Ba'sins@e
MoRis9 i,~s
Yes. and you can't force her to ride any.
thing that will show them; she don't wear
them. Bul good-eye,i, truthful reporters
say she pals her pantsloons down 80 Low
ai the ieet that il shows in there between
where the pants w.islband leaves o6 end
the vest bottom higgins the following in.
delible ink-nsrks on her shirt, which she
has placed there in order to prevent
Isundrymen s'esling il: ~. n. w." (Dr.
Mary W2iker). a reporter seeing her on
the ssreei, pulling and cu~ing while trying
to make her clothes meet, found shese ink
mark, and wrote her up. making those
initials read. "Dsmned Mad Woman"
S>>
BG-ctual.
The CaAnie Mirn-, Baltimore. Nd, tell
it, readers, That the sick and suffering
irom disease. of the kidpevs and liver. are
efecsually cured by Warmers SAFE Kidney
and Liver Cure"
Too Much 0rammer.
The peril Of employing highly
educated young men rs clerks was
again illustrated yesterday. A woman
stopped At a green erocer's on Wood
ward avenue and asked:
- 81