The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-05-06
Ennnygrapfas.


IT seems to be universal practice
that when Bridget comes in to sweep. the
whole family will get up and dust
''WI11 you have some more beans,
Johnny" "No" "No what?" ''No
beans, says Johnny, solemnly.
The decline of the drama is probably
OWING to the fact that the public never
sees but about one-tenth of play; the
rest is bonnet.
A ST.. Louis theater manager was
asked why he employed such bad actors
and he replied: ''Would you have me
let the poor devils starve?"
LIE ? well, I guess he does lie, said
his nelghbor Jones. "Why, he's so
fond of lying that he won't let clock
strike right in his house"
IT is estimated by the Detroit Free
Press that a handsome woman weeping
before a jury has more effect in five min
utes than two hours talk.
EVERY man who has become President
of the United States has been elected
during leap year. This is something
for the girls to wonder over.
WHEN a girl is 20 she feels very easy
on that score. It's only when she scores
another that she begins to wonder who
invented wrinkles.
AS YOU travel around the country you
are more and more impressed with the
conviction that the chief end of man is
to paint patent-medicine signs on the
fences.
DIANA locks are the the names of new
bangs introduced into fashionable cir
eles. They are called after the a1rowy
goddess because they culver whenever
the beau comes round.
A WISE man writes to the papers that
the only " true way to health is to eat
moderately, drink temperately, sleep
regularly, and avoid excess in every
thing" Well, that is good way, too
Another good way is to keep well.
CARE animals color-blind?" asks
writer in a scientific magazine. Now
there is man who has never wandered
through a COW pasture with ared-fannel
shirt on. Come to think of it, we have
never wandered through that kind of
pasture either
"SETH," said Mrs. Spicer, 81 wish
you would go and see to the furnace
that girl Kate is putting in coal as if she
was firing a locomotive" And, when
Spicer remarked that the girl was, per-
haps, a railway cinder-Kate, Mrs. S.
grew warmer than ever.
WHEN young lady tripped into
music store, the other day, and asked
the bashfrl clerk in attendance for
"Two Kisses" he damned on his hat
and rushed out of the back door. The
clerk, never having heard Of the piece of
music, thought he was the victim of
leap-year proposal, and his salary was
not large enough to support two.
E'I WILL stay" he sang g and will sing my lay,
While slunber seals your eyes;
And the still, deep night will see me stay
Under the star-lit skies.
will wake and sing till the morning star
Shall glow in the eastern sky
But he didn't; her ''pa" came out, right thar,
And {" lifted " him nine feet high.
NAGIsTRATE-''I It seems, prisoner,
that you took Is pence from the prose-
cutor's TILL Now, [ put it to you seri-
ously; was it worth your while to risk
your character, your liberty, your whole
future for such a trife?' Prisoner
Certainly not, your Worship; but [ did
not know there was not more in the till
I took all there was"
STREAK O lightnin, fo' miles long,
Some desc days gwine hit him;
ngsoll sing anudder song
When de debbil git him.
Debbil watch fo' SIGH as him
Ketch him in his collar;
Choke him back an hit him 'Ebim;n
Butt him til him holer!
DebbiI stan up kimbo straight,
Laugh at Ing'soll prancn';