The Portland daily press., 1880-10-02
A Galveston Clerk.
An Incident Showing that Religion and
the Grocery Business don't Jine in
Texas.
Galveston News.

A Galveston grocer has been observing for
several weeks past that great many of his
customers had quit him, and were trading at a
rival store over the way. He also noted that
one of his clerks who had been converted at a
recent revival rarely succeeded in selling any
goods at all to a customer. He had formerly
been very efficient clerk in selling groceries,
hence the proprietor was very much bewil-
dered. Yesterday morning the proprietor
came down before the clerk made his appear.
ance, and hiding behind a stack of boxes of
Blue Jackets Encouraging Btters, waited pa
tiently for developments. Presently the clerk
came in put on his apron, busted off the coun-
ter, whistling From Greenland's Icy Noun
tains, as he did so. 1t Twas not long before
wealthy lady whose custom ran up into the
thousands annually, came lin and asked the
clerk if he had the celebrated No. 3 sugar. He
replied that they had, showed her q sample,
and she said she thought she would take about
100 pounds
The conscientious clerk looked at the lady
very earnestly, and said:
"Are you prepared to meet your Maker?"
The lady stared in blank amazement.
81 want to know if you have family prayers
regularly, and if your family are fully prepared
for blissful hereafter beyond the grave; for If
y
There is enough chloride Of tin in 100 pounds
of sugar to kill the last one of you, and don't
want anybody's blood on my hands, particular
ly when they are leading wicked lives, and not
fit to die." And he put the cover on the su-
gar barrel and strolled out to the door, whis-
tling "Old Hundred"
The lady Haunted herself out Of the store,
her face as red as fire: but it was not any red
der than that of the proprietor, who was only
waiting for an opportunity to rend that clerk
limb from limb. Fortunately several custom
ers came in, and the proprietor drew in his
breath, gritted his teeth, and waited as best he
could for the hour of vengeance to strike.
Have you got any claret-genuine French
claret?"
"What do you want it for?''
81 want it for friend of mine out in the
country"
"Has he got good constitution"
"No, he is in feeble health and want this
to help build up his system"
I'VE made our genuine claret ourselves,
down in the cellar. The proprietor attends to
that himself. OF late the infusons of logwood
and other dye-stuffs we get from the druggist
have been of such poor quality that our genu-
inc claret won't do for me to recommend. 1
can't conscientiously do so. You had better
let your friend die natui 81 DEATH"
The man said he was much obliged for the
Information, but the clerk said he was only do
ing his duty, and he whistled when / Can
Read My Title Clear" as the customer strolled
off.
Other customers strolled in, but he firmly
refused to sell them dimes worth. He ex-
planned to cadaverous-looking woman that
her dyspeptic appearance wasj due to jthe Chi
ma clay in the flour, and the glucose and sui
phuric acid in the golden syrup she wanted to
purchase. Another lady wanted tea. The
good clerk said: Madame, if you were to
drop dead and wake up where there is weep
ing and wailing and gnashing of teeth could
never sleep at night afterward. You could not
buy pound of tea at this establishment for
all the wealth Of the Indies. The color Of the
tea is produced by Prussian blue, which causes
ossi6cation of the valvular system of the heart.
l can see by your leathery complexion, that is
caused by tannin in tea, that you are not long
for this world. How do know you have made
your peace with heaven?'
"Got any good coffee?" asked a fresh Gus
toner.
1--WE have some beans faced with phosphate
of calcium and sulphate of barium, but the
man who gets any of it has to show a clean bill
of health from his spiritual adviser" There
was no trade with that man either.
Finally, when there were no customers in
the store, the interview between the enraged
storekeeper and his clerk took iplace, but the
clerk so impressively warned sthe grocer-with
an ax-handle-not to approach too close unless
he was prepared to go home, that their bus-
ness relations were dissolved by mutual Econ
sent The moral of which is that things are
not always what they seem.