Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1880-03-05

lie did not answer, but looking steadily at
me for moment with look which broke
my heart, he turned and left me-
| was thankful to find the house quiet
when | entered. George and Sarah had
gone out together, and the children were
asleep in their little white beds. | went di-
rectly to my own room and, locking the
door behind me, sat down by the window.
There was no sense of triumph in my heart
then, but bitter shame--so overwhelming that
| could not think at all, as l sat looking out
into the gathering twilight Presently the
front door opened and the voices of nv
brother and sistersounded through the house
in inquiries for me-
Clara Where is the child2 She must
have come home before this?
Miss Clara is in her own room, think"
the servant answered The parlor door
closed, and the house was again quiet. After
a time heard George "lockng up" and
then he and Sarah came up stairs, and
passed my room on tip-toe. Then all was
still, and | looked out into the night and
thought. | saw the deformity of my own
heart and the beauty of the one had cast
from me. | looked back over the past six
months, and loathed the self | saw there,
while | could not reverence Horace Grant
us our unrcservod intercourse had shown
him to me. | had always known that he
was an earnest, consistent Christian, but |
had never before realized the rarely pure
dignity his character. Why, oh why had
| allowed him to wreck his happiness upon
one so unworthy of his love? And then came
| another qu2ry-why did | not love him
DID / not? | could not tell for | knew
nothing of love. | had read few novels,
and had never had-as girls are want to
have-a coniidante with whom to talk ro-
nance upon the subject. | could not an
swer the questions | asked myself saw
but one thing clearly--how utterly despica-
bic had been my conduct; and, as my heart
achcd with remorsc, l wondered drcarily if
| could ever feel at peace again.
At last, overcome by WEAKNESS, lay down
to a troubled sleep, which lasted till the
bell rang for breakfast. George had gone
and the children started for school, when |
went down to the table, Sarah exclaimed
at my haggard appearance, but | quoted
her alarm by conlessng to headache, and
then she gave me note which she said had
been left carly that morning by boy, who
said no answer was required. Seeing that
the address was in DIR. Grants handwriting,
] slipped it in my pocket, while trying to
swallow my breakiast--after which | re-
turned to my room, opened and read it,, 1t
was dated the previous night:
al cannot rest wit6Dut acknowledging,
Clara" it said, that, in my excitement to-
night, | used expressions to which | had no
right. Forgive me il, as | fear, | have
wounded you by so doing, or caused you
unmcrited sclfreproach. | now see that
what, in my hopelulness, | regarded as en-
couragement voluntarily yielded on your
part, was but the frank expression of friend
| ship. That you could not love me was my
misfortune, not your fault. | enclose note
TO your brother and sister, which you will
please read before delivering 1t will per-
haps, save us both some annoying questions.
COP bless you, Clara, and make your life a
happy one. Mine will, trust, be devoted
to the service of tho One, in the light of
whose smile mont can be utterly dcsOlale.
Sincerely your friend,
HORACE GRANT"
The other note had fallen to the floor. |
picked it up and read:
"DEAR FRIENDS II had hoped some day
to call you brother and sister, but that MAY
not be. / have asked your sister Clara 10 be
my wife, but she tells me she can only be
! my friend. Under these circumstances, you
will not think il strange il discontinue my
visits TO your house, or believe that | can
ever be other than
Your true friend,
HORACE GRANT"
Every word Of these two notes, showing
SO plainly the noble nature of their writer
cut me TO the heart, and throwing myself
upon the bed, wopt as | had never wcpt
bolorc-such bitterness was in those years
Sarah came in presently, to ask what she
could do for me- Without word, gave
her DIR. Grants letter. She looked thunder
struck as she read it, and looked up at me
as she finished, with the exclamation "Child
what have you done?" Then, seeing tho
utter wrctchedness my face must have OK
pressed, she stopped and kissed me, saying
"Of course | don't blame you, dear, for re
lusing him if you did not love him but
thought hoped you did. / am very, very
sorry"
This was all she ever said to me upon the
IL. I..,,
George, for he, too, allowed it to pass unmen
toned, though he could not help showing by
his manner how deeply he was disappointed
The weeks dragged now as they had flown
before and, in passing, they brought me tho
knowledge that in rejecting Horace Grant,
had thrown away my own happiness. Till oil
intercourse between US was at an end / had
not known how necessary it had become u
mellow / had grown 10 depend upon him
for the sunshine of life. My punishment was
severe, but knew that deserved il, and tried
10 bear il meekly. / learned, too, as the
weeks grew into months, and my heart went
out after him with unutterable longing, 10
look for comfort where | knew he looked
and the days Of that long summer, sad
though they were, were not Improbable
ones 10 me.
Sarah and the children went away, early
in July, 10 visit sister bizze, leaving me, at
my own request, TO kosp house for George.
II was a sickly season, and she had been gone
but few weeks when the cholera broke out
among us, making fearful ravage in the viii
lago. Many, panic-strikcn, left their homes,
and fed TO more healthful localities. George
urged me 10 join Sarah at sister Lizzie's,. but
| told him, and truly, that was not fright
cned, and would rather stay with him
Through all the month Of August the dis
ease ragged with violence, and the number
Of deaths among us compared with the mum
Der Of inhabitants, was truly appalling.
During this reign of terror scarcely day
passed without my hearing some new story
Of DIR. Grants courage and kindness Other
physicians reserved their time and strength
for patients able 10 pay for them; but he