Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-09-16
PITH AND POINT.

PARTY leaders are all well enough,
but the wheel horses must do the most
important work.-N. o. Picayune.
ALL youths are not fitted for a college
education. 1t is not best to make one
story brain try to carry a three-story
education.-Wh Whitehall Times.
MAN alone can whistle. Thank good
ness!-Boston Transcript. But he can
also whistle when not alone. Thank bad
ness!-PhiladelphiI Bulletin.
DoNA ANA RAFAELs, a very rich Gu
ban lady, is at Saratoga, and she makes
all the men want to go to Cuba. Sew
eral are already bound to have Ana
BOston Post.
THE ablest way in which to disguise
peach is to inclose it between two crusts
and try to call the combination "pie."
1t spoils the peach, and, as for the
crusts, the man who invented them
spoiled the flour when he did so.-New
Harem Register.
AN Oil City maiden, who had Just re-
covered from two-days' attack of
green-apple cramps, recited in public
the other night that touching poem, $50
feel what have felt," with such en-
phasis that it brought tears to the eyes
of the green-grocer.-Der .
"INow have something for a rainy
day." said old Mr.. Snifkin the other
evening, as he entered the room and
greeted his family. "a windfall.
windfall," screamed Mrs. Snifkin in an
ecstacy of mental paralysis. "No, no."
he responded quietly, as he drew his
slippers from under the sofa, sits an
umbrella. "-Andreacs' Bazdr.
ONCE in while poet rises to the
supreme height of his vocation and
strikes a genuine chord. Hear this
one:
think the song that's sweetest
Is the one that's never sung.
Oh, that this couplet could be wedg.
ed cross-ways in the throat of the
amateur individual who imagines his
voice is-is-anything but what it is
NeW Raves Register.
GIRLS who have become slaves to the
demon of ice-cream should read care
fully this little gem by one of our most
noted poets, and reflect on the fate that
awaits them. Two kinds of ice-cream
are evidently what allied her:
All pale and wan my little love
Doth in her chamber lie,
While Night looks coldly from above
With weird, Cyclopean eye"
Chicago Tribune.
SIS your programme full, Miss Beetle
crusherP" asked a young man of a
Western damsel who had struggled out
of the refreshment room with disap-
pointment in her eye and an s'order of
dancing" in her hand. "Programme
full?" said the daughter of the Sitting
Sun. "Waal, I guess not! Ihaint had
nothing but piece of cake and an ice
cream, an they don't go far toward
filling my programme, can tell you
Boston Commercial.
OUR Sarah Jane just dotes on botany.
How that girl does love to analyze, to
be sure! My! how she will tear the
posies to pieces! Meeting her, the other
day, with a joyous light in her eye and
q mess of flowers and leaves in her apron,
she told US she had been
analyzing-as though there were |
any need of her telling that
Why, that girls always Analysing! She |
1ad been analyzing, she said, very |
inc specimen of the "symplocarpus, a
genus of the perennial, aquatic, acau-
escent herbs, belonging to the order
Lamnace9. Its spadix," she remarked,
9 is oval, covered with purple flowers"
Now, that sounded grand enough; but,
bless you, sir, if you'll believe it, the
girl had been tearing skunk-cabbage to
pieces! Yes, that girl dotes on botany,
Ind no mistake!-Boston Transcript.