Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1880-08-19
r,ti, and Point.

III stftu Oin9 -
The latest thing In boots-Stockings.
Let man who Is without shins throw
the first stone. w
If you let a man loan he will let
you alone for long time.
At a spelling match one man spelled
"parsnip," and got beet.
A post in the ground becomes decade
wood at the end of ten years.
Upon modest gravesIone in Vineen-
mes Cemetery appears the plalntiVe
legend, "His neighbor played the cor
net"
Customer to proprietor of hat store
-"What is the price of this style,
please?" Hatter-"This tile, SIR, is
worth 81"
ssBedadi Look at the haste, wild
his two toothpicks stickin' out er his
month";" was how the first sight of an
elephant affected Bridget Mnldoon.
Some one has asserted that knowl-
edge is equivalent to force; but the
aphorism will not hold good at night
In bedroom infested by mosquitoes.
The Zulus, in battle, keep working
LutlI l1WSy lOl W ndI kOOu hOOONy WV
knew. The same phenomenon some
times happens in the American Con-
gress.
A celebrated German chemist, to
whom was addressed the question,
"what is man2" promptly replied, "a
pinch of phosphorus and a bucketiui
of water"
The Car of Russta is melancholy.
And yet we're not surprised. 1t would
make most men feel that way to be
taken for target thirteen months out
of the year.
The barber's razor took hold of his
beard with yengence, when he looked
up and said, apolOgetically: "My dear
sir, came in to get shayed-not to get
tooth pulledp'
A little girl, on being told some
thing which much amused her, ex-
claimed, emphatically: ssI shall remem-
ber that the whole of my life; and when
/ forget it will write il down."
"Ah, Louise, my heart Is very des-
pondent. Ever since have gazed into
the depths of those lovely eyes, L"
ssHush, John, put an air-brake on that
train of thought. Pa has Introduced
me to his new partner, and | am his for
$a,000,O 900. That settles it,"
1t seems to make no difference how
great man is; he may even be a Sen
ator or a Governor, but, if his wife
don't like the way he is doing, she will
tell him of it just as sure as she wonld
If he was only coachman or fisher
man. Aud this is what they call human
nature.
The donkey is pretty bird,
So gentle and so wise;
1t has silky little tail
With which to frisk the flies.
Upon its head two ears 1t bears,
So silky, long and SOFT,
That, when its tail can't reach the flies,
The ears can whisk them off.
"Can You cure my eyes? 2" said man
to DIR. Brown. eyes," said the doctor,
t'it you will follow my prescription"
sob, certainly, doctor, !" said tho patient;
81 will do anything TO have my eyes
cured. What Is your remedy, doctor?"
"You must steal horse" said the doc
tor, very soberly. ''Steal horse, doc
tori" said the patient in amazement.
"How will that cure my eyes?" "You
will be sent to State prison for five
years, where you could not get whisky;
and, during your Incarceration, your
eyes will get WE'LL" said the doctor.
The patient looked somewhat incredu-
lous, but he did not adopt the Doctors
remedy.
"You play poker, of course" said one
gentleman to another, who was shuffling
a pack of cards in such a scientific man.
der, as to betray an intimate acquaint-
ance with the articles, "No, never
do" was the response. "Indeed," ex-
claimed the questioner, "I thought ev-
erybody in Eureka played poker" 'I
am the solitary exception" "And how
is that?" swell, you see, l got into a
big game; had an ace full and loat $500;
then held four queens and got beat
out of $500 more. 1 then said to N.Y.
self, 'Old boy, this amt your game
there's no money in it; you'd better
stick to solitaire; it amt so exciting,
but it's safer;' and so I've stuck"