Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1880-02-11


money is to pass by it, and let some
other fellow shove it without knowing
what it is.
A girl at Leslie, Neb., married a
| dentist, got twenty-one bad teeth fixed
up in good shape, and then coolly left
him and began looking for man she
could love-
Two ladies are discussing third,
who is, of course, absent. "She is
really charming" says one, "and above
| all. she has such an air of intelligence"
"Yes," answers the other, "but there
are no words to that air."
The papers are always ridiculing
the man who parts his hair in the mid
de- Yet that class of men never read
the papers at all, but CLEAN all their
information from the wrappers around
packages of cough candy.
Henry Clay is postmaster at
jamestown, Va, the oldest postoffice
in the old thirteen States. Letters
have been delivered there in some
form or other for 2s} years, and yet
the salary is only $5l per annum.
No one knows who invented the
fashion in society of turning down the
corner of visiting card; but the fash
ion of turning down the corner of
street was first thought of by the man
who owed small bill to the trades
man he saw coming.
The London Times pays five
guineas leader and three gu.neas for
other matter, but these are only its
regular business rates; for an article
of special merit or happy suggestive
ness or the like is rewarded with
check for ten, twenty, or even fifty
guineas Of course it has its special
staff, one of whom receives f2,5OO
and another 1900 year.
The New York Erpress thinks it
must be little discouraging to good
people to see men and women, who
haxe tried dozen different professions
and failed in all, reform and give tenn
perance lectures or start out as evan
gelists. But this is wicked thought,
for if there is joy among the angels
over repentant sinners, why should
good men decline to join in it +!
One of the meanest things on
earth is a toady. The bluntest, rough
est creature that independence ever
made is preferable to a fawning, cring-
ing toady, who, for the sake of money
or favor, praises what he detests, fat
ters without admiring, changes his
opinions at nod, and would lick the
dust from the shoe of one in power
could he further his own ends thereby.
"A man and woman of Phoenix,
n. Y, decidedly on the down-hill Of
life-he was sixty and she was sixty
fve-could wait no longer to be mar
ried and started for the clergyman's
house in a sleigh On the road they
met another clergyman, and, with o
rare and beautiful enthusiasm, re-
quested him to perform the ceremony
on the spot. They stood up in their
sleigh, the minister stood up in his,
they were pronounced to be man and
wife, and pair of frisky horses with
their sIeigh-bells furnished the we'd
ding music.
The conductor of a train on the
Union Pacific Railroad charges that
fly having alighted on one Of the
glasses of the engineers spectacles,
the engineer thought it was a buffalo
on the track ahead, and turned on the
air brakes to avert a disaster. The
engineer retorts that one night the
conductor saw what he thought was
the headlight of an approaching loco
motive. He kept his own train wait
ing while, and then somewhat con-
fusedly, started her. "He is the safest
man / ever ran with" says the engi-
neer Venus is millions of miles
away, and he waited twelve minutes
on a side track to allow her to pass"
A Frenchman, who has recently
written book on the city of Berlin,
SAYS that at least 100000 of its popu-
lation are socialists; that it has no
sewers or drainage, and is breeding
bed of malaria; that owing to dust
and the excessive use of tobacco every
! second person is specialized; that its
lower orders are of the most depraved
and its theatres corrupt and licentious
that its press is venal that the people
, are polite theoretically, but the reverse
practically; that the women are dow
dyish in dress, big-footed, and 90 much
, addicted to beer drinking that they
: soon become as stout az the men. He
>, SAYS much more in the same strsip
. but as he is possessed Of all French,
5 mans prejudice for his conqueror. BIZ
/: utterances must be taken with large
t pinch of salt He admires but TIVE
! things in Berlin-its geological collec