The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-02-26
Driving q Hen.

hen an where? If not. then never say
"where there's will there's way"
or "an things are possible to him who
perseveres," because you don't know
anything about it.
Driving hen properly. and decor
ously, and successfully, requires more
skill than capturing herd Of buffalo.
The hen you want to drive is always
strong minded hen. If she had been
woman she would have wanted the
ballot long ago, and her husband would
have had to keep quiet when she "got
set on anything. But being only a
hen, all she can do is to cackle, and be
contrary, and thwart you at every turn.
If you want her to 60 in somewhere
she'll be sure to want to go out, and
Uice Ue1 So. You want to drive her most
when she gets out of the coop, and gets
into your garden, to the total destruc-
ton of your pet bulbs, and roots, and
seeds, and everything else. One smart,
active hen will do more harm in gar
den in one hour than COW would do
in half day.
A hen is born with the instinct to get
to the root of the matter, and she fol-
laws out her nature.
When your hen gets out of Confne-
ment she makes straight for your
choicest 1ower-bed, and she stays there
for an hour before you discover her.
By that time she has dug out every
thing that you cared anything about,
and has buried herself up all but her
head, and then she lies in the sun with
happiness and triumph in her speaking
countenance.
How mad you are! You feel as if
you could sever her joints and make
her into pot-pie with will-no mat
ter if she is one of trio that cost ten
dollars.
You 60 for her with energy, and
scream out "shoo!'' to her, and -four
ish your apron, and make wild ges-
lures in her direction, and call your hus-
band, and the children, and the hired
girl, to help drive her into her quarters.
Now, it is never any use to call a man
to help drive hen. We are willing to
admit that the lords of creation can do
quantities of things that the weaker sex
cannot, but there is one thing man
can never do-and that is to drive a
hen.
He'll break the rake-handle, and get
hung in the clothes-line, and lose his
hat. and fall down over the croquet
wickets, and burst off two or three of
his suspender buttons, and the hen will
fly up on top of the barn, or take refuge
in the tallest tree on the premises, and
there she will stay and laugh at him till
she is ready to come down. And all
the men in creation cannot drive her
down, for she knows that she has got
things her own way.
Your hen that you are going to drive
generally cackles all the time you are
trying to drive her. It gives her cour-
age, perhaps, to defy you. 1t is like
the music of q martial band when the
troops are marching into battle. It is
as inspiriting as the strains of Yankee
Doodle to the hens ear. You try gen.
tleness first.
"Shoo, biddy! shoe, biddy! shoe,
therer' and she plunges off in the direc-
ton contrary to the one you wish her
to 90 in; and then you draw off your
forces and execute flank movement,
and open" her up, but, presto! just as
you think you have got her, she squats
and gives scoot right out under your
skirts. and away she goes free as air.
Then you get some corn and try to
bride her. Oh, no, she doesn't want
any corn, thank you. She is above
bribery. She doesn't take any stock
in your "chicky! chicky! chickyr' de-
livered in your most cajoling of voices
Still she cackles. All the ROSTERS
cackle, too, evidently tickled with her
spunk. A few hens who are not curl
Gus join in. All the neighbors will be
looking out to see ''what on earth you
are making them hens screech so fol"
Your husband gets pole and makes
q dive for that hen. He'll fix her
cackle for her! he says; she'll go into
that hen-house, or he'll know the rea-
SON!
And by the time he has chased her
all over the premises, and torn his
pants, and knocked piece of skin off
his hand, and run over little Charley,
he does find out the reason. 1t is be.
cause she is not of mind to 90 into
that hen-house.
And he says that hens are nuisance,
and that he'll kill the whole of 'em, and
he wishes there had never been one in
vented.
By this time you are tired of his help,
and you request him to 60 away and
you'll drive that hen in.
Then you begin. The hen begins,
too. She flies over the fence, and up
on neighbours woodshed. and down
into somebody's pig-pen, and the pig
takes after her with vim, and she flies
out with screech, and runs under the
barn, and there she stays till night. and
then if you will leave open your hem
house door she will find her way
thither, as meek and innocent-looking
as you please-for chickens and curses
come home to roost. Kate Thorn, IN
NJ r. WEAKLY.
jay Gould only madc S15, 900, 900
L. NJ ~ hA 4 ale dieorI0v.