The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-04-01
80 777r go --r--'--
RRiC-A-.BRLiC.

s'Shlr "wc conquer" ...
FLORENCE Nightingale has lust lost
ner mother, who has died at the age of
81 years.
The duke of Etlinburg is snobby
enough to travel abroad in full uni
form.
"A pair of good pants and long
oVcrcoat are knee pus ulster the poor
young man.
Nothing SAYS. the BuGu!o Eu-
press, warns the heart Of al ice man
like cold snap.
.Mr. Brecher's latest saying is that
''clvilizatiOn is Il march not from rn-
turc but towards it,"
sporting men in Detroit arc bet
| ting That the next attempt on tie Cars
llic will be successful.
Anthony Comsiock reioiccs at the
ADVENT or spring. lie hates to sec the
innbS oftlc trees so bare.
"A tramp went into Nevada hotel
ahu said: "Fill me up with whisky
ana have some fun with me-"
"A Boston paper says that misses
cont couht-except in the treasury
Department..
The Waterloo ObScrver runs the
risk of raising the Dickens by inu,lir-
ing: Ibid Oliver Twist old Fagin's
nOscW
The Philadelphia BuNetin SAYS
the game Of "iiltccn" originated with
the electoral commission in 1877.
a Chicago paper says that a more
naniby-pmnby, soft and snivelinn Win
ter never was seen in this latitude.
The Vassar College oirl who
caught cold by drinking water from n
damp tumblcr is convalesccnt.
The press and the public will
please take notice: Mr.. Tilden has no
ncphcws this year.
The order Of the red men: "Giyc
ihJnm heap more gun. powdcrnn whis-
Key" The order Of the white men:
The Chicago Jou,nal would like
10 Know what the telephone business
would have done if the word "hcllo"
had not been invented.
If the Car had been punctuoI
man, SAYS the Baltimore -Nems, hc
would DC lying i'll state now. surround
eli by his similarly laid out family.
1t is said that when General Shcr-
man goes to ball he kisses all thc
misses and never misses kiss. Or
words to that effect.
IA Georgia man fired seven Shots
ut wildcat, killed his dog, wounded n
Iarmcr III tho leg, and put one of his
own eyes out. The wildcat escaped.
The London IrHth speaks Of our
'".hmcrican girls of hirty''--seIf.rc-
llant and independent in their lvcs-as
"prctiy young bachelors in pclticoats."
The seal probably puts ND with
, more insults and abuse than any other
animal. llc is known The world over
asa iurbcaring animal.
| 1t is regarded in England as q
breach Of etiquette to gaze on members
| OF The royal family or the "mv lords,
OF parliament through opera-glasscs.
"A biO-raphcr has come TO The res
cue of Captain Kidd. He was not a
pirate, after all, but gentleman. a |
scholar, and Il Sunday school teacher.
-"Tnc darkest hour is lust before
the dawn remarked Sambo, when he
started out before day-break to steal a
young chicken for breakfast.
-"IIumrh!' said a Young gentleman
ut II play with young lady. ''I could
, play the lover better than that myself"
Il would like to sec you try" was the
! naive reply.
"A San Francisco paper says that
man is living there whose brain has
been removed. Judging from t..c re-
ports which are daily coming iHon
that city, numbers ofpeoplc in it lave
undergone IL similar operation.
An electric light, strong enough to
render the walls Of houses ,ran2pa.cn;,
is now rrcaictch; but, SO far as we
CO" srr, tic only advantage to be de-
rived from it would be to drive lovers
out on the roofs.
"A robust countrvman meeting q
physician ran to hide himself behind o
wall. Being asked the cansc, he re-
piled: "lt is so long since have been
SICK that am ashamed TO look il ply
sican in the face"
The law torbidding smoking on
the streets Of Boston has been reprnlcd.
! but it istoO late. The men have al
ready taken to rubbing snuff ami part
ng their hair in the middle. Some re-
ormcrs suffer by delay.
The report that Barnum has cap
turcd Boston girl who docs not wear
eyeglasses has been officially contrn-
dictcd. lie has, however, discovered
one who cannot talk Latin but can
make bread.
Water your COWS thoroughly and
YOU will have large yield Of milk"
says an agricultural authority. If it is
q good rule, it will work the other
way, ''Milk your COWS thoroughly and
YOU will lave a large yield of wafer"
-"ion arc an oius, hidjus, hit, my
dear said a playful mamma to her
daughter at dancing school the other
day. "Oh, my dear Mrs. Il -"
sighed one of her mcighbors, "what
W"h!"n't give to have your knowl-
edge OfLatin."
1t is said that Samuel J. Tildcn
and Whitclaw Reid both have Gus
tom Of putting their boots in the bu-
rcau drawers and throwing their clean
dickcys under the bed. They all do it
sooner or later. They ought to have
married forty years ago.
! "A VNnnOr 1oIv @l,o ftn.,,