The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-09-17
Prof. PAYNE 20 the Ladies'.

say ladies" first, because custom and
etiquette of civilized society at the present day
exact it. Why, am unable to say. Probably
a relic of the dark ages of chivalry, so lauded
and dwelt upon by poets and romancers-when
crack-brained men mounted knock-kneed
horses. and, after guarding their armor over
night by horse trough, went forth to redress
the wrongs of womankind by engaging in NOR
tai combat with windmills, wine sacks and
flocks of sheep and, when love-crazed maiden
knights went forth from their regal amours in
search of wrath cup which never was, nor
ever will be, and 10 knock each other on the
heads for the love of God and duty to their
mstresses. An age OF hobgoblins, NEGRO
mancers, enchanted palaces, and Prncesses,
and island kingdoms, and whose shadow is
transmitted to our illuminated century and
young, Giggling girls, who could stand all day
without Inconvenience, are granted seats, while
their fathers, broken down and decrepit with
years and press of business and care, stand to
accommodate them; and ladies sit uncovered in
the house of God, with their heads weighed
down with great stacks of straw, velvet. rib
bons, lace feathers and artificial flowers. Per-
haps the dear creatures expect the same license
i'll the beyond, and will appear at the judg-
ment seat as if decked out for an evening party
!. Not that particularly object to these little
Inconsistencies of themselves being, as they
are, harmless, though absurd. But they are
the outgrowth of customs and prejudices which
l do object to, as being pernicious as well as
Scottish. The prevailing opinion to the contrary
notwithstanding, l assert that there is alto
gether too much sentiment and romance in the
ma ority of mankind, and this presence is par
ticularly manifested III the treatment of our
women. From the cradle up we teach them to
think they are beings of a diviner stamp than
ourselves, mural angels in short, to be treated
cd 70 nt1rfa1 hft hpf
worshiped as such, and to expect and demand
such homage as their natural and just dues
and our bounden duty, when, i'll fact, they are
but creatures of bone, flesh, blood and muscle
like ourselves, and / won't say equally fond of
their beefsteak, rare done, with potatoes, for
fear that some ve-sck youth of 10 might knock
me on the carpet, or some inspired boarding.
school miss might regale us with some more
poetIyGO, but will say decidedly human! Most
superbly does the poet Pope sum up the whole
case when in his inimitabe lines he says:
Heaven, when it strives to polish all it
Its last, best work, but forms softer man!
All the affinities, and 'might-have-beens,"
and mismatedness, with great portion of the
wranges and divorce suits Of married life NAV
look to this source for their heads. AS girls and
sweethearts, we fawn and shipper and iatter
them, getting down upon our knees in acknowl-
edged inferiority and submissiveness before
them, and swearing the everlasting depths of
our passion by the pale moon and the twink
ling stars, and as wives, most naturally, they
take us at our word and expect the same Quix-
otto devotion continued. But with man his ro-
nance always stops at the altar, or at the fur
thest few weeks of honeymoon, when he be-
takes himself to business and the realities of
life, and if perchance he does happen to revert
10 his love-frenzied wooing, he does so with a
blush of shame. But the wife, be she ever so
good ntentioned. cannot forget she cannot at
hotolra harSaIf fro,, tba oh ,;ol
heights to which she has been transported to the
coarse and prosy realities of domestic life, and,
with many, the unhealthy warnings of her heart
make her all easy victim TO the seducer whose
only guile is the very same spread-eagle
attentions which her husband as a lover
had taught her to- delight in. When
she was taught to look upon herself all up
through life to marriage what she really is, a
human being, q little more refined, ntuitlve,
and eXqulsitely strung than man, but his in
ferior in depth ana strength of mind, she would
experience no feeling of disgust, no rebellious
longings and regrets in coming down to the
plain mattcr-of-fact duties of good and true
wife and help-meet. Facts and figures cannot
deceive or disappoint, and the sooner we conform
ourselves to them in everything, the better off
will we be for our comfort and peace of mind.
The curse of intemperance is truly considered
as being the cause OF great amount of crime,
Indebtedness, disease and death in our fair
lttlt CollltS lIOfn Tic nHHll
of tight lacing and its attendant evils, whereby
young girls, to secure a zone of hour-gass SYM
metry, sacrifice health comfort, and life itself
on that altar. Te the truth of my assertion. let
the long list of delicate and broken-down wives,
quack doctors who make of chrome disease
specially, and the dark blight of little graves In
every cemetery. testify. Let the young girls
who boast of this accomplishment take note.
A word more on this slouchy wives topic. and
then done. Many ladies seem to have become
terribly incensed at my plain assertion, yet one
Of their own sex, in an elaborate article, con-
firms me III every particular. About the
whole sum and substance of the matter
may be summed up III these few words. 1t is
natural Tor most women to desire to look well
and to be mircd consequently most of them,
If enabled TO, will dress becomingly-particu-
larry when expecting the public eye. But many
of them in anu about their own homes. through
the worry and press of cares, become negligent
and Indifferent. That their homework neces-
sarily compels them to wear a soied toilet / adj.
NIT Particularly is this the case among the
wives of the farming classes. But have al
ways noticed that when young girls, though en-
gagged in the same kind of drudgery they al
ways manage to appear sweet and neat uuder
all circumstances. Now very little of the
same pains taken after marriage would do away
with our slouchy wives A simple calico dress,
becomingly arranged, well-combcd and dressed
HAIR, with n simple ruffle at the throat, would
complete the effect, and economy herself could
not complain at the outlay. That men are
careless in dress and manners cannot deny,
AMI it is a reproach to them that such is the
fact but il is more the sphere OF man to win
the bread and butter. to attend to business,
than to look starchy. With the wife IT il diff
ferent. However onerous her duties, as the
sacred repository of mans most holy and
cherished inner being the mother of his babes,
being OF beauty, grace and refinement, de
signed for love and to be loved, his household
goddess, to whom, when the press cares and
business are over, to flee for rest and
peaceful enjoyment, it is but meet that she
should always appear lovely. A vegetable gar
den should, az matter Of course, he properly
weeded and tastefully arranged. But, its de-
sign being exclusively TO raise beets potatoes
onions, cucumbers, radishes and such like,
few weeds along the borders or crowded of
into the corners il not 40 homogeneous Bat in
a flower garden-a place of beauty, of rare per-
fnme and exquisite localities, place to delight
md refine the soul, how inharmonious and poll
luting the presence OF weeds and confusion
PRoF. PAYNE