Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1880-12-16
JONES AND THE BABY.
BY FANNY RAYMOND,

III bocnlb W ue, bhlu OOuoS W LIE
wife, who was walking around the room,
with the baby in her arms, "that women
make a great deal of unnecessary fuss
about putting child TO sleep. Now, /
would chuck him into bed, and let him
squall it out.
"It seems TO mo-" said Mrs. Jones,
quietly, "that all men are born idiots. I"
Jones couldn't, for the life of him, see
what that fact had to do with putting
the baby to sleep, but he wisely held his
peace.
The next evening, Mrs. Jones came
into the sitting-room, where Jones was
reading the market reports, and said
81 AIN going down to mothers after
that recipe for yeast. Baby is asleep,
but, if he should wake, presume you
could put him to sleep again-men are
30 handy with babies"
can right I'll put him TO sleep
again in less than no time run along,
my dear, said Jones, cheerfully.
Mrs. Jones vanished, and Jones ro-
sumed his paper
Soon after his wifc's departure, Jones
heard "A little premonitory grunt from
the vicinity Of the bedroom.
"Hullo ! what's that ;" exclaimed, az
he assumed listening attitude
He soon found out, for the juvenile
member of the Jones family set up a
series of yells that would have done
credit to prima donna.
Jones dropped his paper, rushed into
the bedroom, seized his offspring, and
carried him wrong end up back into the
sitting-room.
The suddenncss Of the attack, and the
unusual position, so astonished his baby.
ship that he forgot 10 scream for a few
seconds, but when Jones righted him
up, and offered him pair of sleeve-but.
tons for playthings, Johnny shut his
eyes, opened his mouth, and began
again with renewed vigor and determine.
tion.
Jones abandoned the sleeve buttons
and tried to "cuddle the baby up Of
ter tho maternal fashion, but baby stern
ly refused to " cuddle ;" and, with a de
gree Of energy for which Jones Wal
wholly unprepared, and which cvincec
total lack Of respect for the author
Of his being" Johnny grabbed the pa
ternal whiskers with both hands anC
howled louder than ever.
Jones released himself, smoothed hi
cherished whiskers, deposited his heil
on the sofa, retreated to a safe distance
rubbed his face carefully, smiled in
vague kind of a way, as If he didn'
know exactly where the fun came in
and wondered " what the dickens Marii
would do under similar circumstances.
Baby put his fist into his mouth, anC
looked as il he wondered what his pater
nal ancestor would do next.
There, now" exclaimed Jones, i'm
mensely relieved, che is papa's pity it
tle sonny, SO he is.
Sonny" promptly resented this by
a long-drawn yell that struck terror t.
the soul Of his dismaycdparent
Jones was at his wits end. He grew
reckless. He whistled to that baby h,
sang; he made faces he cut a series o
antics that would have driven a ballet
dancer mad with envy; but all to NJ
purpose. Baby had evidently taken (
contract to furnish so much yell in {
given time, and WAS bound to do tn,
square thing.
When Mrs. Jones returned, she founC
a demoralizcd-looking man wandering
around the house, with a baby on on,
arm, while with his disengaged hand h,
wiped the perspiration from his mani,
brow with the tail end Of the baby't
night-dress.
1t seems to me-" remarked Mrs
Jones, as she took the baby, a." tina
men make a great deal Of unneccssar,
fuss about putting baby TO sleep
Now, I"
The front door closed with a bang
Jones was on his way down street t.
"see a man"