The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1880-02-04

lOT your ni6ct lubuTe Wellaf6I
"What's that to your" .'..
considerable. / am about to marry
Miss Silver; so her interests are naturally
mine.''
"Then she is provided for-amply."
"Thank you for your information.
Very glad to hear it. And now excuse
the apparent impertinence of the ques-
ton, but where is your will?"
"Here," said Mr.. Maddox, laying his
hand on it.
Suppose you give it to me to take
care OFF
"Give it to you'll Why, prayw
'It might become misplaced" explained
Guy.
"I'll keep it myself" said Mr.. Maddox,
roughly.
"Then just leave memorandum on
the table" said Guy, earnestly, ito tell
where it is. 1t will save trouble, per-
haps."
"Get out" cred Mr.. Maddox, angrily.
"Ah, l seep said Mr.. Cheevers, coolly;
"in a hurry to begin. Well, l won't de-
tain you; but have little suggestion to
offer"
"It is this" said Guy. "Miss Silver
informs me that you have made several
previous efforts to cut short your troubles
and your breath, and always unsuccessful.
Now it seems to me you don't go the
right way about it. This box"--and
here he opened the box before alluded to
-"contains several little plans that l
think might please you. Here's one"-
and he showed little steel instrument.
whats thatw asked Mr.. Maddox,
curiously.
This" said Guy, "is an article that
you can place round your neck like a
collar; then, by striking your hand on
the left side of your neck, a sharp
spike is driven right into your jugular
VEIN"
"But that would kill me" said Mr..
Maddox, staring.
"Well, amt that what you want?" de-
manded Guy, sternly. "Now, here's
another" he went on. "Here's a wheel,
you observe. You place this band round
your neck, pass it round the wheel, and
give it two or three turns--then let go.
The recoil will twist your head almost
off your shoulders-kill you to a Ger
tainty."
Mr.. Maddox stared at him with un-
feigned horror.
"Then," went on Guy, coolly, "here's
little PACKAGE torpedo. 1t contains
nitro-glycerine. You place it in your
mouth, snap your teeth on it, and off
goes your head, smashed into millions of
atoms"
"Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr.. Mad
dox, fearfully. "What terrible ideal"
"Not at ALL" said Guy, soothingly."
Beautiful invention-I quite pride my
self on it-scientifc suicide, you see !!
Anybody can take poison, or blow their
brains out; but to do it scientifically re-
quires real talents You have it. and am
confident you will reflect credit on my
inventive skill. Now," he continued
confidently, "if you could use all three
of these inventions at once-cut your
jugular, garotte yourself, and blow your
head of, all at once-why, I'd thank
you"
"What!' cried Mr.. Maddox, fercely,
"do you think Pm going to use any OF
YOUR internal inventions9 Get out Of
this room, you cold-blooded villain, be.
fore throw you out of the windowp
| "But l have great many more tc
show you," demonstrated Guy; "and yor
see want you to try as many as possible
Well, well!'' he added, as Mr.. MADDOX
grasped the poker threateuingly, Tn
going. But I'll leave this box here, ant
before you get rid of yourself, just maxi
memorandum of what you will use
and leave it on the table, because yo,
know there will probably be nothing lef
of you to draw conclusions from; AM
Here any further speech was cut shor'
by Mr.. Maddox seizing his visitor ant
hustling him out into the passage.
"Well," said Lizzie, anxiously, t
Guy.
"I think it's all right" said Guy
grinning. "Get the lunch ready. You
uncle is all right. He'll be down."
And sure enough, so he was; an
though he spoke not, he eat most vors
ciously of everything. ,s'a'..
"Lizzie," said he, suddenly, after a
hours pause, "did you ever see an infe
nal old fool and an idiotT'
"Neyer, that l know Of" said Lizzie
) "Why% .t
"Because Just look at me, and you
: see one," said Mr.. Maddox, grimly, an
, he stalked upstairs
l Up to the present time of writing M
, Cyrus Maddox is still alive, enjoying n
} markably good health; and he seems t
Q be on friendly terms with Mr.. Cheeve
=. and his wife Lizzie. He probably fo
= gave that gentleman on account of
: discovery that he made that the nitr
e glycerine torpedo contain nothir
more dangerous than salt, and the othe
D "infernal inventions were internal !
about the same ratio; but Guy sti
!, maintains that when a person is weal
J. of life they should ease their troubles (
It scientific suicide.
:. The Stars and Stripes i'm Georgl,
3 columbus (Ga) Enquirer.1