The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-01-10
THIS AND THAT.

Proctor says the world is 500 100000
yeats old. Great Scott ifpoor old Eve was
living now she wouid be de bnld-headed as
} billiard ball.
"A father said to his Ave year old boy,
Who came in late 10 dinner from schoolj
"Robbie; why are you so lateH Didn't you
hear the bGil ~ "Yes, father" replied Rob-
bic, "bdt couldn't hear II plain"
AN old oyster dealer, who hnd caught
billions, and eaten millions of the delicious
bivalye, was delighted with dish given
him at a church fair called "oyster stew"
Ho said il Has 50 new TO him--be was sd
sick of oysters.
"A PosER.-Afaud "Mamrha; where do
people 60 when they die' Mamma "0h;
you iiiust not ask such questions, dear you
will understand all about il when you arc
older" Maud (after thinking it over for
some minutes y "Mamma, do you know
| all about it."
-Mathilde sends us poem, "Winter
Idyl." The meter and rhyme are all right
and the general iingle-jangle is as pretty as
a string of bells, but there is too much Of this
Winter idleness, and we don't propose TO en-
courage il by any publication through our
columns.
-"How is your neighbor; Mrs. Brown9"
inquired one nicely dressed lady OF another;
"she's well enough, l suppose. l haven't
seen her to speak to her for six weeksP"
'Why, thought you two were on the most
friehdly terms?' "well, we used to be
but we've exchanged servants"
-''My dsat,H said sentimental maiden
to her lover; "of what do these autuminal
tints, this glowing baldric of the skies, this
blazing garniture of the dying year, remind
your" Pancakes" he promptly answered:
And then she realized for the first time that
two hearts did not beat as one.
William Edison, young lawyer of Una
dilla, very recently became the father Of
twins, and band of his Sunday school as
sociates came out and serenaded him with;
"Lord, hear of showers of blessings" 1t
was good thing to suggest to him, for he
might not have thought of it.
| lS JSdOhGl VI u CLASS III hiolOiJ
gnVe out thisquestion (which is the meek
est ofall domestic animals ?" A young miss
who had passed the previous Summer at
Long Branch promptly answered, "The
nieekest domestic animal is the mosquito;
because if you hit 1t on one cheek and don't
kill it,it comes back again 81 yes you chance
to hit it on the other"
Alter family prayer, few evenings
slhce, little Qutcy boy asked, "Mammaj
how can God hear folks pray when he's so
far away?" Before the lady could frame
suitable reply, a sunny faced little miss of
| five SUMMERS tehemently said, am jes' bet
he's dot telephones running to every placeg"
-"Does he know anything2" anxiously
itdtired friend bending over the body Of
d man who hid just fallen from the roof of
a house. "Don't know Pm sure" the phys
ician replied, "he never did know anything
but you can't tell what effect the fall may
have had upon him until lie regains con-
sciousness.
=fhey met, twas on che street,
"Oh, such a a bonnet ~ thought the one
The other thought, "What feetl"
Yet they did talk
Together walk
And kissed each others cheek-=afid chalk:
"A young man who had just returned
from long journey casping his adored one
in loving embrace in dmly-lighted par
lor, was seized with great terror that, for
an instant, paralyzed all his energies. "ohi
my darlingi" said htI wildly, "why didn't
you write ME OF this What is it-spinal
diseasG-or have you dislocated some of your
ribs, that ycd life obliged to wear this great
leather bahdage?" "oh, love-" she gently
murmured, "this is only my new belt; /
would have got broader one, but it would
not 60 under my arms.
When grocer retires from business he
weighs less than he did before.
THE farmers of Minnesota harvested last
year bushel of wheat for every inhabitant
OF the United States.
Tennessee has twenty-five tobacco man.
ufactories, one snuff factory, twenty cigar
factories, and $50 leaf tobacco dealers.
Before marriage girl frequently calls
her intended cher treasure" but when he
becomes her husband, she looks upon hini
as her treasurer"
Ask the average husband to run down
cellar for pan of potatoes for breakfast and
his enthusiasm over the growth and pros
perity of America decreases one-half before
he reaches the middle step.
There have been sixteen executions Of
fe males in England since Queen Victoria's
accession to the throne, and during the same
period one woman has been hung in Amer
lea.
-"Little words" says a tender-hearted
philosopher, care the sweetest to hear" Oh;
yes "no," for instance, when young man
asks his girl il she likes HIM we'll enough 10
marry him.
, 1t is said there are more frogs legs eat
en- in America than in France. But this ID
not as strange as the fact that there are mora
Havana cigars made in this country than In
Havana.
"A very rich old man had married 4
young wife and died suddenly, on whGh
the widow rayed like maniac and e2claim-
ed TO the doctor who stood by the bedside of
the deceased "Oh, III not believe that my
dear partner is dead he could not die and
leave mel No, mo- he's alive-I'm sure
he's alivel Tell me, doctor, don't you think
?" "MadaniS replied the medical man,
with much gravity, al confess that it is pos
slble that he may be revived. will apply
the galvanic battery "Oh, no, mop cried
the grief-stricken widow, "Hard as it is to
bear my fate will have no experiment
against the law Of nature. Let him rest in
peace.
Guilty Of Wrong.
Some people have a iashlsE % confusing
! excellent remedies with ksa Isrga ,nass %