Connecticut western news., 1880-05-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

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 DARE to be true, nothing can need a lie; A fault which needs it most grows two thereby. l FA1sEHooDs not only disagree with truths, but usually quarrel among them ! selves.
 IT IS strange thing in art that an ac- tress must learn to paint before she can | drawl
 SOME one inquiries: "Where have an the ladies' belts gone2" Gone to waist, long ago.
 THE glazier who was cheated out of his pay complained that he got only his trouble for his panes. SENSIBLE married men always depend on their better halves when they want to change their quarters.
 HE THAT does good for goods sake seeks neither praise nor reward, though sure of both at the last. THERE is transcendent power in ex- ample. We reform others unconsciously when we walk uprightly.
 "Nor THE cry, but the flight of wild dllCh, pthNb SuluGSS uuGllOIS A0tt1S the flock to fly and follow"
 FAITH is letting down our nets into the untransparent deeps at the Divine con- mand, not knowing what we shall take.
 You WILL often find that the person who is continually bragging of his de- scent has nothing else descent to brag about.
 WHEN the daughters are infants, mothers are anxious to keep matches out of their reach. It's different when they grow up.
 THE New Orleans Picdy,eae says the man who wears paper collars cannot even secure the respect of a first-class washerwoman.
 EXAMPLE is more forcible than pre- cept. People look at the preachers six days in the week to see what he means on the seventh.
 | Too GREAT carelessness, equally with excess in dress, multiplies the wrinkles of old age and makes the decay the more conspicuous.
 IN MICHIGAN social etiquette permits a bride to be marr1ed without gloves be- cause that's the way she handles the groom after marriage. AN INDIANA girl who was suddenly kissed at party has become insane. Such things should be talked over at least whole week beforehand.
 "PApA, said his little girl, aged six years and nine months, to him one day, "Why do you say stepdaughter? Is it because she has been trodden uponp"
 PRINCIPAL, drawing out his watch to on unpunctual clerk, !" MT. Johnson, it is already half-past nine {" Clerk, draw ing out his watch, and looking at it: "Agrees precisely, sirp' WHEN man scornfully remarks, sI hate baboon P don't you get mad and ask him what he's blackguarding you for. Just look around and see what other fel- low he's referring to.-Boston Post. THE SEXTON flew around and opened the windows as if he were going to clean house when the preacher said the air was so bad in the close church that it put the organ out of tune using it to blow with. A ROBUST countryman meeting phy- sician ran to hide himself behind a wall. Being asked the cause, he replied: "It is so long since have been sick that I am ashamed to look physician in the face."
 ESQ YOU are going to keep schoolp" said young lady to her old maid aunt. "Well, for my part, sooner than to do that, would marry a widower with nine children" "I should prefer that my self,' was the quiet reply, "but where is the widower?"
 "SEE HERE, Georgie," said fond mamma to her little son, as they walked on the beach-"see here, what lot of nice little round stones P "Yes, grum- bled Georgie, as he cast searching glance around, "and not living thing l to throw 'em at!''
 A FAMOUS fibber told an extraordinary story which, strange enough, chanced to be true. "It is so extraordinary" said listener, "that if I did not know it to be true I should believe it to be false." "Ah," said the narrator, eff it had been false, should have told it in much more truthful manner than did"
 "TEnn ME, Dennis, what is Social ism p "Listen This is Socialism. You and go into a beer shop. You offer to stand treat and you pay for it then I offer to stand treat and you again pay for it." "Yes, but what if I am Socialist, too?" "Then the beer seller must pay" "But suppose he is So- cialist also ?" "Then we'll clear out" Boston Courier.
 ETHEL having been sent to school for few days became more learned than her parents and startled her father by saying to him: "Papa, are you vulgar?" Without committing himself, her father inquired why she asked the question, and she replied: "You always say "a man (giving the short sound to a ), in- stead of ah mahn, and the teacher says only vulgar people talk that way"
 Nor LONG ago laborer applied to an overseer in @ Tyne ship-yard to be put on job. He was informed that he could not comply with his request; but as Pat continued to gaze earnestly at an anchor which was lying in the vicinity, the fore man repeated his reply that there was no work for him, and advised him to go away. "Not bit will I stir, till see the man that's going to use that pick P