Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-08-19
twelve glass hung over the washstand of
stuffH little bath room.

tites, and two tall boys who giggled and
snickered at each other in the intervals Of the
conversation.
Cousin Joab talked necessarily with his
mouth full, and the two Misses Wilmerdings
served as general echoes to the rest, while
Aunt Louisa devoured lobster salad ad libi
tum, and kept on sending up her cup fol-
more green tea, until l trembled for hel
nerves.
While my wife, careful and troubled like
Martha of old, with many things, looked
ready to drop with the hospitable exertions she
had made, | was sitting mere cipher at the
head of my table, and felt as if was keeping a
boarding house without any of the pecuniary
emoluments therefrom.
"My trunks will be up here in the six
o'clock train," said the Rev. Mr.. Speakwell
"I'll trouble you cousin Poyntz, to send an
expressman to the depot for 'em. And if
there's any apartment in this domicile, cousin
Poyntz, that could be fitted up as study
for my temporary use, it would greatly facili-
tate my intellectual occupation during my
soiourn in the suburbs of this great city.
And I must beg that you keep the house very
still during the hours which devote to study"
Here my wife looked at me aghast think.
ing of little Johnny and the baby.
"Never mind my DEAR" I remarked soto
voce, we can easily get 'em boarded out some
where.
"And," went on the Reverend Mr. Speak
we'll, II would esteem it favor if horse
and buggy could be procured for my daily
use when going to DR.. Dosem, in the city,
as the motion of the train disagrees with my
nervous system"
IL don't happen to own carriage, but I
might buy one," said l. .,
"Thank you, thank you, cousin Poyntz," ="
said Mr.. Speakwell, blandly.
"And if there's any other little thing you
should happen to want, pray don't be back
ward in mentioning it," added.
"No, won't cousin Poyntz," said the rev.
erend gentleman, with the utmost gravity.
And am bound to say he kept his word.
For three days I endured the swarm of
visitors which literally infested my home,
and then made up my mind that patience
had ceased to be a virtue.
"I'll put stop to this thing" said l.
I came home one night with tragical ex-
preston on my face.
"Katherine," I said to my wife, 81 am ru-
ined."
"Whatw cried all the company at once
"Those shares in the Western Union, you
know" said I, shifting my forehead.
eyes, dear, gasped poor Kitty.
"They have gone down." said l. "Not
worth penny"
"Oh John"
'I wish I had taken your advice, and let
'em alone" said I. "But, after all it doesn't
matter so much, as if I had no friends"
1 looked beamingly around at my wife's re-
lations. They returned the glance by the
blankest of stares
eff borrow 5000 apiece from all these
dear kindred" said I, with obtrusive cheer
fulness, "and request Uncle Silas to endorse
my business notes"
II couldn't think of such thing" hurried
ly interrupted that gentleman.
81 should be most happy to oblige, but l
am quite out of funds at present." said Cousin
Joab.
"And l." said the Reverend Mr.. Speak
WE'LL" pushing back his chair, "must save what
little share I possess in the worlds filthy lucre
to pay my passage, and that Of my family,
back to Minnesota"
"Surely," cried I, "you would not 60 away
and leave me in such pecuniary straits as
these"
The Reverend Mr. speakwell significantly
buttoned up his pockets
"It is every mans business to look after
himself, Cousin Poyntz," said he: "and l do
not scruple to say that it is downright dishon'
esty for business man, like yourself, to get
into such financial difficulties"
And in fifteen minutes every cousin on the
lot had, upon one excuse or another, vanished
from the room, to pack and prepare for i'm
mediate departure.
l looked at my wife; my wife looked at me.
I burst out laughing; Kitty began to cry.
"My DEAR" said l, sits an easier job than
l thoug ght it would be-. l didn't know but
that it would be necessary for me to catch the
small pox before could get rid of your rela'
tions"
"But are we very poor, John? And must
we give up this dear little cottage? Oh J.! how
cruel it is of Cousin Joab, and Mr.. Speakwell
and Uncle Silas, and all Of them, not to help
you! l know Mariana Wilmerding has
$4,000 that she wants to put out at interest,
for she told me only yesterday, and"
"Yes, exactly" said 1. "But probably she
doesn't regard me as good investment"
"After all have done for them!' sobbed
my wife.
"Relations are only human, my DEAR" l
said.
The company took their leave without much
ceremony or adieu, and that afternoon my
wife came to me, with tears in her eyes.
"John," said she, twill you tell me how
much money you have lost in that horrid
Western Union stock2 Because would
rather know the worst at once"
"Lost ?" repeated I, looking up from the
newspaper, which I was reading in Uncle
Silas' favorite easy chair, now vacated for the
first time in many days. "Why, who said |
had lost anything?"
"You did,"
Excuse me, my dear; said nothing of
the kind. l merely stated that the Western
Union shares were not worth penny. Meth.
er were they, to me- as I had sold out all l
possessed week ago"
"John?"
"Yes, my DEAR"
"How could you?'
Every easily" said I, with latent smile.
"My dear, II think if your relations had
stayed another week l should have committed
suicide"
"And you told that horrid story just to get
rid of them.'
II made that unimpeachable statement with
that precise intention"
"They were rather trying" confessed Kitty.
"And l think they might have helped you a
little when they thought you were bankrupt"