Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1880-10-28
IN HARD STRAITS.

"Very well.
And, with halt groan, l, Basil Hath
away, sprang out OF oed, and proceeded
TO array myself in unexceptlonal cos
tume-trowseIs, vest and frock-coat. My
only ones, alas an accommodating rela-
tive some twenty doors of had taken
charge of shabbier garments one by one,
kindly advancing sundry moneys thereon.
Three of us were IN the same plight
old school fellows and old chums, now
thrown together IN manhood by the Ca
price of Dame Fortune, and fighting
shoulder to shoulder the great battle of
OF life In the great city.
As dressed, one of the trio, Hal Ire
vor, came bounding by three at time up
the worm eaten stairs. He was fresh
from morning lecture at the hospital, and
hungry as hunter, thought, with a
shudder. heard his cheerful greeting
of Jack Hornsey, hard at work since day
light on "Coke on Littleton.
"Well. old bookworm, ready for break
fast9 Where is the captaln9"
The captain!' how the old title, be-
slowed still in honor of my three years
seniority, set me dreaming. was reused
by the Gull thuds of poker hanmering
violently at the intervening wall.
''All right" ] shouted, ring TOR the
bacon!"
In moment there were three of US
gazing with rueful looks at the breakfast
arrangement. A loaf of stale bread, a
piece of butter the size of walnut, and
three tiny rashers that either could have
put out of sight with ease.
GITo fbaf oil RridnotS1
Every line OF the girls honest Irish
face was eloquent with sympathy.
''Not bit more, sir"
"Hal laughed.
"Turu out your pockets, lads. There's
my last COIN
And he produced an exceedingly shiny
sixpence.
Jack, after much rummaging, showed
a quantity of fluff and brass button. I
had threepence halfpenny in coPpers.
"Odd man out for the bacon" quoth
Hal.
''No, divide it between you;" said 1.
"a man has been rash enough to invite
me to dinner. Hand over the loaf"
Jack gave me one keen glance.
think he suspected the pious talsehood,
Hal-bless the boy Twas quite uncon-
scious, as happy as though we had not a
care. The frugal meal had just been dis
posed of, when we heard great putting
and blowing on the third floor. Tha'
had but one possible mcaning-a cred,
itor.
Whose turn2" asked Jack, laconic'
ally. 1t was an ancient arrangement
now that on the advent of dun, only one
of US should receive him, the others be
ing in the city-that is, in the adjacen
bedroom.
"Your own" cried Hal, as we decamp
ed, leaving the door ajar to watch TIT
course of events. II wish you Joy, Jack
it is old Blunderson, snorting like
grampus, as usual"
Old Blunderson was general provis
ion merchant, who had let himself be be
guiled into supplying miscellaneou
goods until his bills really frightened me
He was the exception that proved tina
old rule, Laugh and grow fat" as crus
ty, iil-condltioned a wretch as ever reat
one particular portion of the Lord
prayer backward. A modern Falstaf
minus the wit, he always assembled slow
ly, resting on each stair.
We were safe for about five minutes
Jack employed them in preparing for hi
reception, and we watched proceeding
with amused curiosity.
The first was to produce huge tobac
CO pouch, taking from it about half a
ounce of tobacco. From this he filed
long clay pipe Jacks meerschaum ha
preceded our clothes to the pawnbroker'
-depositing the remainder carefully upo
the table.
IAN alarming sacrificed" murmere
Jack, shaking his head over it with re
gretful sigh.
The next grasp was to grasp the fir
shovel and tongs.
'Weapons of Defence" whispered Hal
ry. He meditates assault and battery
Hal stopped abruptly In sheer ANUS
ment. Jack was deliberately removln
live Goals from the fire to the shovel, an
upon these he swept his cherished tobaG
CO. Then he placed the shovel upon tt
bottom lodges of two chains at the flu
ther corner of the room, threw himse
into the one nearest the fire, and com
placently lighted his long clay. c
course the room filled fast with smok
and most pungent oder.
: ''Old Blunderson hates tobacco as q ce
tam parsonage hates holy waterI" grir
ned Hal.
"Bad policy, though, to irritate him,
grumbled I.
By this time our enemy was in Il
doorway. gasping for breath, and shakin
q great hairy fist at Jack by way of 6l
ing the interval till speech returne
You abandoned young profigate!'
VI Jack removed his pipe, nodded, the
quietly resumed it.
e-0ther-scamps2
"One gone for the doctor; the other
and jerk of the speakers thumb towa
the door behind which we stood compile
ed the sentence.
= Old Blunderson made two unwieldir
cps toward us.
"Better not" said Jack.
.Ehf'
'Typhoid fever-bad case-contae
ous," fibbed Jack, between his pufls.
We saw old Blunderson's face gro
green with fear. Still he looked incredu
ousiwe had played Linn so many trio
before. ~
Cannon" he gasped at length.
Jack rose slowly, walked to the &C
ner and produced the shovel.
.Fumigating the ROOM" he said, "bt
ter have pipe"
And old E!rrdarscn turned and A,
with such celebrity that he gained the &c
ond floor in seconds instead of minut'
We were laughing over his discount
z. ure, when Bridget's head appeared at Il
~ door.
81 thought I'd tell ye, gintlemin, t
misthress Ii jist comm. The SAINTS pr
tect yc, fur she's bin rampagin' like
haythen all this blessed mornin'p'
Our faces fell. Mrs. Callaghan, o
worthy landiady. was not foe TO be
r readily dislodged, and her powers of
! vective were simply unrivaled. Hal "
the only one who could soothe her, a
he came to the rescue.
"My turn" he said, with look
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