The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-12-23
CHRISTMAS HUMOR.

than she man who takcf no stockin' Santa
Claus?
REMEMBER ihe barber the bootblack
and tho bartender -.Adricc 70 bach
CiOrs
SoML folks will hang up their stockings
Christmas eve, and somo will hang up
tho bartender.
IHE man who takes unto himself wife
on Christmas owe will he sure TO have
wcll-filled stockings
IT Is said that child born on Christ
mas will always hate turkey and goose.
and lean towards Goldfish and bacon
The small boy now puts In eight hours
day fiattening his nose against the
windows of confectionery and toy stores.
Is Krias Kipgle alive, papav'
Ih, , small by sad
All yes. sud Kicking"
Bald the !amilJ's head.
OsIRIGTMAs il rapidly coming this way.
md tho young man with No. 0 foot
VIII, MS usual, he presented with pair cf
No. 9 slippers.
Listen to the sleIgl-bclls jinglei
s.e the merry snpw-1akrs ihingleI
How !. pak'B our III -bl"-d tinlie,
royal Welcome 10 old KRIS CrDRie!
II you really desire to perpetratc
practical Joke NJ III your printer this
year Just send liiEl the amount OF your
subscription on Christmas.
WHAT time tho lol.dIy Us roll round.
The ba' boy, s,ili Ia fro.ks,
And ite,h his Chrlstmas box.
"HANG up the buby's stocking!"
shouts the Hnckcnsack RcpuJtican. We
want it distinctly understood that wc
haven't any such nppendages.
4 YOUNG man who gave his girl s75
gold watch Inst Christmna, married her
during the summer, and now he thinks
tho presentwas ''tilno" well spent
Now comes the season when the Young
man, OH mn eight dollar salary, bothers
his brains 10 raise The stamps to get his
girl twenty dollar holiday present.
Kansas City Times.
CHRISTMAS falls on Saturday this year,
md severe storms are predicted. The
storm will likely break when the Young
eteIs wake up md find their stockings
iilled with chunks of coal
THE -pnsa...1Ing dnwns. and the house
mold is awakened by the sound of drum
and fife. But it isnot war 1t is not the sum
nous 20 go out and slaughter the Zuli.s.
MAJ, rotlren, it is Christmas. NcH,
IcrA cypress.
"MAAIMA," said tho little ono, "do you
Gnow XII, what you lar, arc going to give mo for
or, "of course I know We'll for % NOR.
cy's sake, don't tell mo-" responded the
puss with great vchcmcnce.
As CHRISTMAS approaches, the young
man who has been toasting his toes, md
lounging on the best pnrlor sofa, begins
to try and get up quarrel with his
young girl so rs to escape bnnkrupting
himself on Chrs tmns present
baltimore Ercry Saturday.
SIZE ,ripptd DER tho u,hv crossing,
And The wind. that ht rcely blew,
- .:eh :: =: 3. .as. sss+
Erreed to tte public view.
1-he officer on then, st ceyner
WINS sistinctiy hoard 10 say,
That's the incest ihing In a stocking
have sern this CIristinas day."
a. S,Nn aye the merry mlstletoe,
The merry. merry mtsicioe,
The mcr' y, merry misti-tUe,
Tho mistictnc bongh."
Now comes Christmas to remind lis wo
may make our lives sublime, and depart
ing, leave behind us scores of slippers.
numbered .'nine. - -,StiNWater Lumber
man. Slippers TINT perhaps another
who shall i'll your footsteps tread-n pre-
fcrrcd and bic:.r hrother-may wish
they were "tci.- id.-ROmc .Scnfi-
net. Slippers rhnps a mother,
striving hard is meet, will use
upon your vii brother, because
he won't keep, t,et.
In Scotland, mong Catholics
and Church of is - people, Christ
mas ie scarcely Il r - iOther denomi-g
nations who notice Z! : season, defer the
rejoicingB to Twelfth told Christmas) day.
A Scotchmnn, who WIS asked how Christ
mas was spent i'll his country, replied:
"Hoot, AVA, mon, VIC dinna mind the
Yule-the Christmas ye ca it, mon. a.
we mind is New Years Day; and then
every mon who can afford it gets drunk"
ION, yes, wait till Christmas" snarled
the youthful! scion, "that's always the
way. If l want new sled, wait till
Christmas; pair OF skates, wait till
Christmas. waited last year, End I
didn't get sled or skates either. Nothing
but book with red cover and little
baby card with verses onto it Christ
mas is fraud. Boys never got nothing
they want" and he mentally resolved
that he would write to the President and
have him omit his Christmas proclama.
ton this year.