Louisiana capitolian. (Baton Rouge, La.) 1879-1881, 1880-11-25
WIDOW PERKINS ACCIDENT.

There ore quite large number of per-
sons in this world who have never heard
of Hanks grocery, yet there IL s,,ch o
place situated on the edge Of vast
prairie in Texas A. this grocery one
tinc spring day, some ten or fifteen COW
boys congrcgated, and as they had just
come in from long drive they were
anxious to hear the news of the settle
ment.
"Wsll, Hanks, what's turned mp in
the ncighborhood, lately" inquired
Bill Wilson, seating himself on the
counter and making preparations to
white gap IN tho edge of it.
"Nothing much, replied Hanks; "but
| guess you fcllers heard of the rump'is
kicked mp at Parson Dillcy's camp meet
ing, down at Wolf Point 7"
"No, we didn't; tell rs about it,"
"Well, all tho excitement was caused
by Oh accident that happened to old
Widow Perkins-poor old soul, she
hasn't been able to walk since. guess
tho old lady is nigh onto seventy years
of age, but she likes to fix up when she
gees 10 meeting and acts pretty pcert for
an old hen, us tough as she is. Yon
knew last summer she took trip down
to San Antoine, with her kin folks, the
Bundioks, and while there she learned
how all tho women folks wear bustles,
and she too took ID in her old head to
have one herself. AS soon AZ she got
back home, she hunted Mp a rawhide
string and wrapped paper around it un'
til it was as big as o saw 10y; then she
hung it up on the wall, ready for the
next meeting. While that hustle was
roesting on peg, whole lot Of scorp
lens built nest in it, and began tt
multiply and rcplcnish the earth, and
old Widow Perkins limpcd around thu
house with tho Rheumatism in her back
and cackled to herself to think how nice
her dress would fit bshind-poor, vail
old creature! When tho protractet
meeting came oil, she sailed into tina
hustle and blue dress and was the frs
one there.
"Old Parson Dilley lead OFF with {
and then lit into snorting sermon
on Samson and tho Philistincs, ant
began to toll the folks to keep MI eye OF
tho devil, because he always made hi
attack from the rear. This started ole
Widow Perkins to shouting, and whel
she began bouncing up and down OF
her hustle, il stirred up the
scorpions, and the next minute she gave
q yell and scooted over four benches
snatching at her clothes, and climbin!
for the woods. The deacOns thinking
that she was in shouting fit grabbed
her, and began to comfort her, and Par
son Dilley came down out of the pulpi
and asked her if it wasn't heavenly jo
to be moved by the spirit.
i "It's not the spirit, she screamed, it
snakes, reptiles and varmints, seekin
whom they may dcvour, Parson Dilley
and she began screeching like wild
cat, and yanking her back up kinde
painful.like.
Does your conscience pain you
sister Perkinsp said Parson Dilley, lift
ing his eyes heavenward; has Sata
gripped yeur soul ?
"'No, it's not that It's my-Lo
sakes Pm bcset--Im bcset with devil
! ravenous beasts and crawling fire
They're eatiA' me alive, and me a poi
| lone sinner. Ouch 90 Ow Oh hea,
ings-Aerey me-Lordy
Fetch loose my bnstlc, Sister Nand
Parker, fetch loose my bustle,' she vel
, cd /; bat before the sisters found out VIII
, was the matter with the poor old ss
! knocked ever Parson Dilley and tv
I ioaaona and liz ont Of the church ru
/ ming like . mustang colt, with bot
0 hands slawing for her hustle, and ea(
t scorpion doing his duty.
II "Aunt Nancy Miller told NE that Il
!, swelling was getting verse all the tim
n and that mighty nigh all the liAimc
. il the Aeighkorhoed had been nsed II
Q hinder feel sorry for Old Widow Pr
!, kins, bays, 'saase scorpions are raj
& pizeH."