The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1880-02-19
VARIETIES.

The Boston Transcript says that q
woman's bang is worse than her bite.
"A hypocrite is man who tries to be
pious and can't with preponderance
of cant
"A Yankee railroad man has gone
to England to show 'em how we check
baggage.
1t would be easy to learn foreign
language If. as the trishman said, sit
could only be spoke in English"
Smiths is new phase of the name.
Charles E. Smiths appears in Balti-
more. Come, young man; one at .
time, if you please.
"A gentleman refusing an offer Of
marriage during leap year is expected
to present the young lady who proposes
with new dress.
According to the Standard the
Bridgeport wind has got its coat OF.
What's that coat made of? Zephyr
worsteda-Donbssry Nes0s.
Neither man nor . woman is en-
tirely safe, until he or she can endure
blame and receive praise without ex-
citement.- Modern Aroo.
What an American girl wants is .
"Win" of her own, but . young man of
any other name is often Just rs accepta-
ble.-Philodelphia Ghronicle.
The Dental Cosmos says that the
wooden toothpicks now 50 generally
used are An injury to the teeth and
should not be allowed q place in market.
"A boy recently hung himself be-
cause somebody found fault with
him." That bey was certainly not born
to be country editor.-Tnrner's Falls
Reporter. er.4 Z f
"A lady pointing to load Of three
bales of cotton on her wagon yesterday,
remarked: s.My Sal and another mule
made three bales this season."-Atlan-
"a GonstitatioR.
French sauossts are at last agreed
that the world is at least $50, 600, 900
years old. and it's no wonder that it
hurts boy to fall from the top rail Of
q fence.-Free Press.
"A poet in an exchange writes over
the loss of kiss. He needn't mourn o
great while with such plentiful supply
Of the raw material in the country
st. Adams Advertiser.
The Hottentots have no regular
doctors. When q man falls sick they
make him drink all the cold water he
can, followed by all the hot water he
can swallow, and the rest is left to
Providence.
"A boy who won't take as big q bite
as he can from another boys apple is
Disgusting his real feelings and should
be narrowly watched, lest he make .
sudden grab and run off with the whole.
Free Press. r-I . ~
Somebody has started the story
that when . ayoung boarding school miss
was informed there were no gooseber-
ries for sauce, she wanted to know
what had happened to the goose
Rochester Express.
-An Idaho fellow can invite girl to
take q S50-mile sleigh ride. -BHrsing-
ton Hasok Bye. He can, or he can invite
her to turn handspring over . wheel
barrow. There's no law limiting invi-
tations.-Boston Post.
"A South End man kicked 80 hard
at dog that his overshoe flew off and
knocked two teeth out Of q ragman
who was looking on, and it cost the
kicker go to settle the matter. The
dog escaped.-Boston Post.
Robert Collyer, in q late lecture,
declared that q woman "who is not fit
for poor mans wife, as Q rule, is not
ft to Be any mans wife, especially in q
land like ours, where no man knows
how soon he may be poor"
An exchange says that Queen Vic
toria receives %, 900 day. She's got
nearly as good sinecure as . para
grapher. If we are ever induced to
change our business, wen be o Queen
certafn.-Yonkers Gasette.
In various parts of Turkey in Eu-
rope people are dying Of hunger and
cold. The Bulgarians refuse to con-
tribute to the relief of the needy Mos
lems, claiming that the stories of their
suffering are mere inventions.
-" Professor Perry has devised q
dispersion photometer." II it can dis
perse . crowd quicker than o man go
ing around with hat taking up col
lection, his photometer may be re-
garded as an overwhelming success
Nosysstos0n Herald.
"A mans character may be 30 high
that his unsupported testimony would
send . fellow being to the gallows. and
yet he can't find more than one man In
go who viii believe his statement as tc
the weight Of pickerel he caught
Boston Fost.
-Telegraphic instructions have beer
sent to the Chief of the
British naval forces in the Pacific, tc
dispatch man-of-war to Lapez, Lower
California, in consequence Of the late
disturbances there, which are regarded
- liable to endanger British subjects.
"A sick woman at Westford, Wis.
believed she was bewitched by an ole
hag who lived near by, and numbe
of superstitious women were of tn,
same mind. They took the supposed
witch to the invalid's house, read tn,
Bible to her and pounded her cruelty
one Of them using club. They are {,
be tried for their assault.
The historic island of jamestown
in the James River, where the frs
. settlers Of Virginia made home, is re
ported to have been purchased by Mrs
Malania Brown. Of New York. 1tcom
prises ], 400 acres, chiefly covered witt
orchards. The only buildings said {.
be on the island are . dwelling hous,
- and . paper mill.
E-Physician-'.Yes, you are evident
y suffering. What are your Pa
tient-"A worm-eater, SIR" Physi
clan" What! Why, wherever did yo'
acquire that disgusting practiceP' Pa
tient-.' In Wardour Street, SIR" Gan,
he proceeded to explain that he is EN-
ployed to give the worm-eaten effec
in sham-sntique furniture. y Fxnn.
F0lks.
The barkeeper had made ready TO
him, and when the maa came in VIII
never paid for his drinks and called 70
. cocktail, the b. K. gently placed
rooster's feather in aglass Of water an
smiled piratical smile that made hi
face look like dried prune. Wheeli,s
Leader.
Young Hoopendike says Mr.. Plu
is . good sort OF q man, and has som
fine daughters, but he's awfully illitel
ate. "Why, the other day he tol
about person being 100 years old an
he called him centurion" sal
Hoopendike, when everybody ough