Morning journal and courier., 1880-08-19
A DEMOCRATIC PLATFORM.
AN oDR-ro A-DY1NG MULE.

oDR-To A-DYING MULE. G mule, dost feel the dread approach Of death Dost feel thy life is neeting fast away? Dost note it in thy short and labored breath?
 And in thy failing vision2 0 mule, say, Thou standest by the awful rivers brink, And thou cross it to return more
 Turn back thy thoughts and of thy past life think No more wilt thou give vent to joyous squeals, No more thy eyes will gleam with mad delight As some poor devil gets too near thy heels
 Andthou Ietst fly and hckst him out of sight. Thou soon wilt be corpse, and safe twill be And folks will do 1t with impunity- Thou1 not be able to get in thy work. But now thou art too weak to give kick; o mule. thou mayst have heard revenge is sweet,
 And, mule, thou art so very weak and sick deem it safe cen now to yank thy tail; I'll do it, mule, that thou the pain may feel Of having me within thy reach, and fail
 From lack of power to hit with thy heel. See, draw Thou must be wild with rage
 At my presumption and thy impotence
 Doctor, was run over by a stage?
 Kicked forty rods, eh :? Stopped against @ fence Doctor. my solemn oath charge you hear
 Never again will be so mised gray mules heels never will go
 Until the mule has twenty years been dead.
 Texas dog was born without tail, and he will sit right down beside an old kettle
 Any old bachelor will shriek for better half when a counterfeit fifty-cent piece is showed on him.
 A Western plumber takes half a column of his local newspaper to advertise ''Cast Iron Sinks.' But, great Scott! who ever said it didn't ?-Yonkers Statesman.
 A Chicago girl has been discovered drawing up letters to third-story window, by letting down one of her shoestrings to the man on the ground who tied the letter to the string. Boston Post.
 A Cape May belle bathes in green dress and stockings and cardinal hat.-Ex. Queer taste Most girls at Cape May bathe in the ocean how fn Norristown Herald.
 General Grubb, of Edgewater, announces that he Is no Hancockian, but Garfield man out and out Let the Democrats consume the whiskey; we will keep the Grubb.-New York Commercial Advertiser.
 'AIl there!" Clerk (who has called to see the gas meter)-'Is yours a wet or a dry meter, madam?" Young wife (who does not like to show ignorance )-''Well it is rather damp I'm afraid !'-Punch.
 ''Why didn't you put on a clean collar be- fore you left homer" called out an imperti- nent flop to an omnibus driver. ''Cause your mother hadn't sent home my washing" was the extinguishing reply.-Jacksonville Sun and Press.
 Got any matches ?" asked Smithkins, stepping in to the grocer's. "Well I haint got anythin' else, :" replies the man of pints and pounds. 'You may put me up half 8 dozen bunches," says Smithkins; ''I'll be af- ter them presently" By and by he returns. Handing the matches, the grocer says sweet ly, ''Is that all to-day, sir ?" ''Why mo-" Smithkns returns q did want ten pounds of sugar. and barrel of flour, and a tub of butter, and few other things; but when I asked you if you had any matches, you said you hadn't anything else, so bought the other things over to Herrinbone's across the way. You can fancy the feelings of the grocer, but they cannot be described. He is very partic- ular how he answers customers ever since that day-Boston Transcript.