Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-05-27
Odd Tri6es.

Sic trauSit-An ahOu
A pain Of glass-A headache.
The rest of the week-sunday.
A two-foot rule-DoI't stumble.
Now mil down your white vest.
Post Of all when seedy-The fields.
ronn,, to look well-A braided coat.
A man may be right and yet be left.
A train Of thought-George Francis
A smooth bore-A life-insurance
agent.
There are troops at the poles-catch-
ing fish.
Congressman usually travel as polit-
ical riders.
The baby elephant is teething, or
rather tusking.
whittaker's ears will long be remem-
bered by the Point.
We are afraid the duke Of America IS
going to be cleft duke"
Nothingis wholly bad. Even dark
lantern has its bright side.
Many think they are called at Chica'
90. but one will be chosen.
Don't trot out your straw hat yet
awhile; keep it on the rack.
Ifvou would open the peoples eyes,
arise. be wise, and advertise.
Don't stroke cats hair the wrong
way: sit's madness to defur."
The carriage-maker never tires. Ihe
\ r. h m
When you have a fashion point what
do YOU want TO give it wafer?
..After Cincinnati, what?" asks po-
1itical exchange. o., Of course.
Years ago one man owned every dog
in the world-his name was Moan.
An exchange says that Kalloch is
Baptist who is immersed in politics.
IF the Mississippi is the Father OF
Waters the Missouri must be the mud
der.
It is argued that Noah's ark had a
poker deck from the number OF pairs II
held.
Britannia rules the waves, but dlsor'
derby students at West Point waive the
rules.
The season has arrived when oysters
should be allowed to retain their over
coats.
Chicago will be bearing off de Palm
in starting cremation furnace ahead
of st. Louis.
The speculator may shape his course
by the rise in cotton. The cotton Will
help the shape.
The Washington young ladies who
belong to banjo club are all banjo
vial set of girls.
The holes in our harbor Notifications
were made for big guns. That is why
they holed the fort.
If you wantto raise a good crop o
garden "sass," turn your hens into
your neighbours lot.
Now treat your girl with GOODNESS
and she'll like you all the better, Vanll
Ia is the safest flavor.
ga, B, lis the name of new pos
office in Summer county, Tenn. Itha
only three letters in it.
Authors are spoken Of as dwelling il
attics, because so few of them are able
to live on their first story.
They don't wash the glasses in Lead
VILE bar rooms. A man can't wait al
day for drink you know.
Every woman knows that beauty
not lasting: but little more can be pu
on when the first coat fades.
Tn the course of time Promisin
Young men reach a position where the
should be paying something.
No excursion boat has exploded $
far this season. Have the engineer
gone back ON the newspapers.
mo chromos given away, but fl
weight guaranteed," is the sign dl
PLAYED in New York tea store.
There is scissors company in Coz
necticut. How many shears there
in the stock we are not informed.
A Young man who has recently tai
en- q wife SAYS he didn't find it half
hard to get married as he did to get tn
niture.
"The most painful episode Of my Ii
was when the needle OF the sewingm
chine ran through my thumb" sa
Mrs. 3.
Wire those little croquet arches SUI
wicket things? Although they look
nocent they are apt to war hoop the be
of tempers.
A Spitz dog bit a New York newsp
per man. The dog was mad. No a.
not mad would have risked his heal
in that style.
In some respects the gentler sex
SURPRISES us. No man, for instant
can deliver a lecture with dozen pi
in his mouth.
A gentleman finding his whisk
punch little too hot, blew it to G
it. "Blowing your own horn, l SCI
said his comrade.
A young lady named Sheep chang
her name to Lamb before she had ne
in Michigan SO hours. She went w
in quest of youth.
"When I die, said a weary husbal
"I want to go where there are no M
ffros IN make ~ HPerhaDS YOU MAJ