The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-02-27
QUIPS.

QUIPs.
UNEASY sits the man who has boil
ALWAYS striking for wages-A black
smith.
IT is better to go out on a fly than on
lark.
The latest agony-Toothach at 3
a. m.
Ir's sharp rat that gnaws its own
fodder.
HEAVENLY s-Clergymen's sore
throats.
The new crop of almanacs is the best
for year.
A COOL burglary into a
snow bank.
A CENTURY plant-The burial of
centenarian.
A MARES nest would be a valuable
adjunct to a stock farm.
The -bility-The members who OPP
pose the introduction of any more bills.
The wise man telleth his love, but
You can't go a-sleighing without
snow. nor huggy-riding without reins
EVE, go to grass, as Mary said to her
little lamb when she sent it out to get
it's meals
THE same man who would scrape an
acquaintance, would dare to scratch his
own wife.
A WITTY divine said he spent day
in New York because it was all he had
to spend there.
WHY does an aching tooth impose
silence on the sufferer? Because it
makes him hold his jaw.
SoNG of the poor young married
couple occupying single room
well have suite by-and-by."
In game of cards a good deal de-
ponds on good playing, and good play
ing depends on good deal.
AN Illinois girls toast-"The young
men of America--Their arms our sup
port, our arms their reward; fall in,
men; fall in"
The poet who sang II am sailing DER
the brine knee deep" was evidently a
timid man and afraid to venture far
from shore.
The experienced never speak of Chi
cago girls feet by that name. They
mention them as Chicagos great ter
minal facilities.
IL your son has no brains, don't
send him TO college. You cannot make
q palace out of a shanty by putting a
French roof on it.
The principal beauty of the Mormon
religion is that the same woman doesn't
have to get up first the entire winter to
build the kitchen fire.
No PERSON will be admitted to the
Cat show before being searched, to see
that he has not boot-iack concealed
about him.-BoStOr Post.
"AHA!" said Bridget, knocking over
prodigal chicken which had returned
home alter a weeks absence, 1T pleases
me when chickens come home to roast"
"WHAT is the chief end of man?"
yelled all excited orator, la Joseph
Cook. Death" groaned man in the
audience and the orator started new
conundrum.
A GIRL at Leslie, Neb., married
dentist, got twenty. one bad teeth fixed
up in good shape, and then coolly
walked off and began looking for a man
she could love.
"MRs. LINCOLN gave the last ball at
the White House at which there has
been dancing" says the Philadelphia
Press. And who gave the last ball" at
which there was no dancing?
A BOY who won't take as big bite as
he can from another boys apple is dis
guising his real feelings and should be
narrowly watched, lest he make sud
den grab and rush Off with the whole.
DID it ever occur to you why law
yer who is conducting a disputed-will
case is like trapeze performer in cir
Gus? Didn't? Well, it's because he
flies through the heir with the greatest
of fees.
"OH! I'm just delighted with George"
said soft-hearted maiden to an older
and more matter -of-fact brother. He's
just too sweet for anything. The last
time he was here he was SO full of fun
didn't you think so, brother?" He
may be full of fun, sister, but he acted
more to me as if he was full of beer
A tableau and a sharp slam of the par
lor door closes the scene.