Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-12-24
Detroit Currency.
Both sides can't always win.

than oranges IN Europe, ana they
ought 20.
Old gold color is all right unless it is
mixed with the complexion. Then 30
woman wants to wear 1t.
1t ia no ilattery to man to call him
a law-abiding citizen. 1t is cheaper to
aw.abile than to law break.
The speaker who doesn't want to
take tip the time Of the meeting is al
WAYS certain to do what he saws he
wont.
A Boston physician has discovered
that telephones are injurious 20 the ear,
and people who run to ears will be-
come alarmed.
A man in New York has been arrested
$50 times in ten years, and he wants
some lecture bureau to offer him an en-
gagen.cnt for the winter:
Tho number Of people alive gear
ago, but dead now from not knowing it
was loaded, is estimated at 800, with
few old shotguns yet to hear from.
Fifty laws would be plenty enough
to govern any State, but even little
Rhode island has more than 1000 on
her statute books, and more making.
There will be plenty of Americans
who will cheerfuliy pay 50 for ticket
to see Sara Bernhard, and yet refuse
ten crats for Il loaf of bread to u hungry
honest woman.
A Texas man said he preferred to
fight duel rather than act as Judge of
a baby show. lie saw chance to
4 It, la, /
cape from thirty-nine Indignant moth
ers?
Bjornson, the Norwegian novelist
and roc;, bj "a Arrived jim this cjoun-
try, creating juite ajqn excitement lin
literary circles, and iJs anxious ito
inject Wiihelwj, hjingo.-I OIL City
Derrick.
The New Haven Register has asccr-
tanned that We breathe 5SS different
species OF organic form into our lungs
with every breath, besides sucking IA
peanut sEuck into the windpipe occa-
siOnally.
Henry Picket, Of New jersey, asked
his mother for fifty cents to go to the
circus. She could raise but ten cents,
and he took the balance out in killing
her wilma club. Some men want all
they ask for.
Men who are trying to become famous
by initiating DR.. Tanner don't get on
very well. The only way to gam no.
toriety by making fool Of yourself is to
to invent some new way of doing So
Boston Post.
low men never stop to figure, or
one OF them would not have prepared
fifty pounds of powder to blow up a
man weighing III pounds. one
pound of powder will lit 800 pounds Of
man every time.
Now, when every fashionable lady
has finally got her heels pinchcd,
squeezed, calloused and deformed to
fit tho shape of French heel shoes,
fashion whips a. out and announces
broad heels again.
Nineteen men out of twenty eau pull
q shotgun towards them 10y the mulzIe
and so their way i'll good health, but
tho twentieth man AWAY happens to he
citizen whose loss Is dtplorel by
whole community.
Dansyille's ErprtsS tells of man
who tainted dead away while being
measured for Il suit of clothes, whereon
the Avon Hproid comments: "Wc don't
wonder at it, if he WAS rs destitute of
clothes rs We are.
An American lawyer is now Attorney
General OF the Sandwich Islands. If
in two years he doesn't own the entire
country and hold the Kings note for Ii
large sum he is no credit to the Amer,
can bar Philadelphia Chronicle.
When women are the advisers the
lords of creation don't take the advice
TIL they have persuaded themselves
that II is Just what they had intended
to do; then they act upon it, and if it
succeeds they give the weaker vessel
half the credit of 1t; if it fails they
generally give her the whole Louisa
Alcott.
An Omaha paper having spoken of
compressed women, the Central City,
Neb., lem says: d" 1t looks very much
as though we should soon have them in
condensed women, and perhaps some
ingenious Yankee will go to puttiMg
them up in cans to supply the western
market"
WANTED AN ADJOURNMENT.
A Detroiter who has an Office on
Congress street west YVES about leaving
it in hurry yesterday with an envel-
ope in his hand, when IL stranger en-
tered, removed his hat and gloves and
said:
presume you are Mr.. Blank 2"
Yes, sir. Anything new from In
DIANA
81 do not know. l have no interest
III politics. | called Mr.. Blank, at the
earnest solicitation of some of your
friends to consult
Say, cant wait Just now. Come
in any other day and III look over your
petition and perhaps sign it.
Tins IL II matter which cannot be
delayed with safety, Mr.. Blank"
But I'm all mixed up on Indiana,
and don't want to miss any of the bull
lotins.'
Mr.. Blank, In the new pastor of
the -- church, and I've beea asked to
Call 0nd -.