The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-05-27
QartEtp.
VARIETY SCRAPS.

DuAChCA WIN lIuhIs lOhee utb1,
The dentist pulls what he doesn't plant.
Courtship is a novel; marriage a history.
To hang a critic is a pious act. 1t is only swing.
ing a censor.
When a Boston girl goes to the fish market to
buy perch she asks for aCanthopterygtan. Nv,
Air.2astles are built of sun beams and here.
rafters,
If Lord Arundel" of England, comes you
way don't lend him any money.
The way 70 induce a Presidential candidate to
withdraw is to hold a hot poker to his nose.
The Chicago Journal says that the name of the
next President begins with wv" 1t must be
Who.
1t may be true that Victoria Woodruff is going
to marry an Englishman She has tried all other
nations in vain.
How nicely things are balanced In this world.
II we had no half dollars we should have no cir,
cusses, and vice versa,
Wrinkles are not always a sign of age. Look at
the cslfs neck Boston Transcript. Or at a cor.
rugated stove pipe elbow.
observe that George Eliot at the age Of 60 Sc,
cures a new husband. Good gracious! where's my
bonnel'-[S, B. Anthony.
Hear the Chicago Tribune The young man
who wants to get up with the sun must not sit up
90 late with the daughter.
It'll poor man who can't carry through life
with him at least one remedy for the sore throats
he may meet ON life's highway.
Eleven million dollars was spentin this country
last year for hair restoratives, and we can't see
one more hair than the year before.
The prize fight season and the strawberry short.
cake season always open at the same time, and
both are sure to get folks into trouble.
One Of the best rules in conversation is never
to say a thing which any OF the company can res
sonably wish had been left unsaid .-[SWift.
The New Orleans Picayune is Of the opinion
that man! good stories are spoiled by being ham.
pered with the statement that they are true.
The Grown Prince of Denmark never makes a
speech. He rises, bows, and says; Tdon't to day
vel feel and sits down amidst long continued
applause.
Says Talmage: when l hear that four angels
are doing Ill the singing for Heaven I'll permit
four people to dOall the singing for my congrega
ton"
They say that there was a time when Senator
Sharon had only one shirt to his back, but that
was when hey didn't destroy shirts by washing
them.
The Church has creed enough and orthodoxy
enough; what she wants is to fill up the mea.
sure OF her creed with a clear, clean, Christ.like
lHe.-[ormiston.
A man WHO offered for IS to put any one on the
track Of a paying investment seated ar applicant
between the rails Of the Boston & Albany Rail.
road boston Post.
No one should make sport OF love. The chap
who can't love for all he's worth when young ia
the man whom grocerS compel to pay cash down
when he is old and bald-headed.
Denver is Dragging about a resident who is
gradually turning to stone while yet alive, but he
is nothing compared to lots OF chaps who turned
to brass soon after they were born.
Russell Sage always carries a pocket full of pep.
permint drops around with him, and he some.
times has so many in his mouth at once that he
must be given time to answer a question.
Boston philosophy says "If there were not SO
many bad men there would not be go many bad
women" Ifthere were no people in the world
mosquitoes would have nobody to bite.
The desires that have only a bodily end and
aim, that are unconnected with the high, holy
and noble purposes Of a pure, true and goodly
life, are false desires and are to be slain.
One great and good thing about John Bull is the
fact that he takes care Of his countrymen, no
matter where they wander. II one ship Of war
can't protect him he can have half q dozen,
When a Vermont deacon thinks that by getting
up at6a. m. Sunday he can have time to drive a
hog across the road before church time, the
n~eighbors say he Is an old numbhead. -[Boston
Post.
By spending fifteen cents at a corner bsr.room
the man who cannot afford to buy a morning IA.
per can nearly always get a chance to see an
old and crHmpled copy of one,-[New Orleans
Picayune.
Every kindly word and feeling, every good deed
and thought, every noble action and impulse. is
like the ark sent dove, and returns from the
troubled waters Of life bearing a green olive
branch to the soul.
A French philanthropist who had given over
100000 10 the poor died in a garrett and alone the
the other day, and not one mourner followed his
body to the grave. Where charity ends gratitude
leaves Of.