The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-01-14
JANUARY IA
vARIETKS

fell into the well.
The man who takes the stump is
generally fellow too lazy to chop it
up for kindling wood
1.-THE Lord careth for thee, be thy
self at rest; for If he care, WHY
shouldst thonscareT too p His Fpfovi.
dence will provide If thou Sincerely
trust it.
A bridal couple, from ,Washoe VAL
ley at breakfast conversed as follows:
He-Shall skin your pertater, honey?
She-No, thank you, dearie, I have
one already skun. 8a
M Whenia lover spends mostuof the
time tor fvesdays,sout of possible
seven with his fair inamorata, it is
pretty safe to bet there will be or
angei blossoms decking her brow ere
long .-1alaafj 30 iga1 aft Fl ftff4a
i !@"What are you about?" angrily
said a country editor to his wife, who
was touching up her complexion be-
fore the mirror. "Only getting up
my patent outside, dear,S was the
reply. '2.''.iNt s. Il {.
.ul Judging from the way women cut
hair. even in these advanced times,
Sampson must have been a frighttul
sight when Delilah got through
shearing hum. Its no wonder he got
weak and felt all broke up. daold
2 The man who keeps a handsome
cook can get plummer up to
his house within twenty minutes
after the order for one is left, We
have tried to make our wife appreci.
ate the advantage of this, but some
things are beyond woman's compre-
hension. Y ti's'H =
A bashful young man could defer
the momentous question no longer,
so he stammered: "Martha, IL
do, you--you must have-are you
aware the Good Book says--or, that
it is not g-good that aman should be
alone 2" "Then hadn't you better
run home to your mother ?" coolly
suggested Martha. sa N ~
A we'll dressed little child, lost by
some negligent nursemaid, was the
center OF sympathetic crowd of
| gentlemen. h Questions poured in
upon the child from all sides. but
with no effect. AT last a gentleman
asked = "Whefe were you going to.
my little dear !? y aNuss, blub.
bered the child, "sed rs to 90 to heb
en- ~}tfa,aa sasf' a# s'f afa
When little Bob asked his sisters
beau for cigar, his future brother
in-law snubbed him with the remark:
young man, strap would do you
more good" Next night Bob's sister
and her young man got their hands,
chins and clothes smeared with coal
tar while lingering at the front gate
and little Bob, when questioned on
the subject, said he couldn't tell lie
Sit must have been tramp"
A Eureka, Nevada, coroner, after
summoniug a jury, and over the
corpse swearing the same, remarked:
Gentlemen, if you have any doubts
as to the man being dead, just walk
down to the doctors office and ex.
anime his heart, which has Just been
removed" The jury with one &C.
cord came to the conclusion without
further evidence that the man was
detunct. t
An Englishman who had seen bet.
ter days was riding in a coach to
Leadville recently. There were
good many other people in the coach
also. Twill you please" said the
Englishman, "open the window |?
want to see the mountain scenery,
An Irishman, who was snoozino in
corner, looked up on hearing the 70.
mark, and Observed: "Bedad. you'u
see plenty of it amonth from now
when you're coming back on fut.nl
Awoman in a Kansas Pacific Rail.
road car sat facing man who. with
one eye at least seemed to be STARING
fixedly at her. She became indignant
and said: sWhy do you look at me
so, sir?" He said that he was not
aware of having done SO, but she in.
sisted. 81 beg your pardon, madam
but it's this eye, is it not ?n liftino
his finger to his left optic. ayes. sir
it's that eye" "Wefl, madam, that
eye won't do you any harm. It's a
glass eye. 1 hope you'll excuse it.