The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-04-10
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Selling the pols-The anglers.
Bound East-Books published in Boston,
That hateful grcenback party-The horse ny.
The awfulest suggestion yet is the possibility
Of Cofax boom.
tramp called his shoes Corporations" be-
cause they had no soes.
Truism from the farmyard-A hen is not i'm.
mortal yet her son never sets.
He popped 'em al-Brigham Young had 80
children.
Jones calls his wife a Nihilist because she is
always SO anxious and willing to blow him up.
The legislature has just appropriated $4,000
for the blind That makes it cost $3S, 600 to come
in, don't ty-Pecks Sun.
familiar instance OF color blindness is that
Of q man taking brown silk umbrella and leav-
Ing green Bingham In its place.
The cash system Is not always just the right
thing John Cash, Of st. Louis, recently assault
ed his wife with Ratchet.
Come, gentle spring! Emerging from the damp,
Accept sweet elogium from the printer;
Yet--come to think-why, you're fraud you
tramp
You've hung around all winter.
As soon as Hayden took to lecturing, the in.
To the Juror who wanted to hang him.--Letron
Free Press.
The leading Methodist church in Toronto dis
missed the choir because they had been singing
"Pinaforen Only dismissed" them! They ought
TO have been killed!
Has any par6grapher ever called young lady
speaker at a woman's right meeting a wind lass?
He's real mean thing" if he has.-Norristo'ra
HeraH.
One of those men who cheat others on mining
shares and make their liyisg by swindling, was
shot dead in Leadville week ago. Death loves
aiming shark
The Rev. DR.. Hall believes that newpaper writ
ers il given text, could often write a better ser
mon than some ministers. II would be bad for
the newspaper business II they couldn't.
western editor thus kindly alludes to co.
temporary: ale is young yet; but he can sit at
bis desk and brush c0bwets from the ceiling
with his ears
Queen Victoria had slight cold. The Cincin.
natl Eng,Grcr advised her 10 soak her head, and
the Norristown Herald to soak her feet. Her
majesty can always depend on getting good ad.
vice from this country.
from England 10 save New York has met with
Indifferent success None Of the ladies are under
20 and all are very plain looking. The boys are
waiting tor the pretty ones to arrive before they
join the prOcessiOu.
a striking case Of the effect OF dime novels on
the youthful mind occurred at Independence,
Mo-, last week. Charlie Hill, twelve year old
lad, hearing burglars enter the store in which he
.lept, armed himself with a revolver and drove
them out, the thieves carrying away moth
ing but wounds.
young New Yorker was introduced TO Bos.
ton girl, and before they were acquainted 30 min.
Htes she COTS spooney that she called him an
asterolepis, silurian placod aud a cartea gInous
vertebrate. He returned to New York by the
midnight train.
a German traveller in Africa characterizes
people he came across as Intensely black, doll.
chocephalic aud plactyrhine, prognathous, dlcho.
tomato and dOchodactylic." We have seen
man knocked down for less than that Dennis
the Martyr never said anything half SO bad
The "rebel yell" Is what the Inter Ocean used
10 call il, but now that Grant has been feeding
them tafy In Galveston, New Orleans, vlcksburg,
&c, it is changed TO 'the Southern historic
cheer"
When Christiancy was not diplomatting,
Diplomatting;
When ambsssadorial duties grew quite slack,
he amused himself with much domestic spatting,
Nestle spatting;