The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-06-11
STORY OF A SKELETON SKIRT.


business. That business done, I pre-
pared to return home. And thereby
hangs this tale, and. as it proved, the
fate of the Confederacy.
For, of course. / wanted to take pres
ents home to my family Very little
question was there what these presents
should be-for I had no boys or broth
ers. The women of the Confederacy
had one want which overtopped all 9th
.ers. They could make coffee out of
beans pins they had from Columbus
straw hats they braided quite well with
their own fair hands; snuff we could
get better than you could in "the old
concern" We had no hoop-skirts-
skeletons. we used to call them. No in
genuity had made them. No bounties
hound, the Deer, the Flora, the J. G.
Cobb, the Varuna, and the Fore-and- Aft
all took in cargoes of them for us in En-
gland. But the Bat, and the Deer, and
the Flora were seized by the blockaders,
the j. @. Cobb sunk at sea, the Fore
and-Aft and the Greyhound were set
fire to by their own crews, and the Va
runa was never heard of Then the
State of Arkansas offered sixteen town
ships of swamp land to the first manu-
facturer who would exhibit five gross of
q hOme-manufactured article. But none
ever competed. This first attempts, in
deed, were put an end to when Schofeld
crossed the Blue Lick and destroyed the
dam on the Yellow branch The conse-
vquence was that the peoples crinoline
collapsed faster than the Confederacy
did, of which that brute of a Grierson
said there was never anything Of it but
the outside.
Of course, then, I put in the bottom
of my new large trunk in New York, not
a "duplex elliptic, for none were then
made, but a "Belmonte of thirty
springs, for my wife. I bought for her
more-common wear a good " Belle
Fontaine." For Sarah and Susie each
I got two Dumb-belles. For Aunt
Eunice and Aunt Clara, maiden sisters
.of my wife who lived with us after Win
chester fell the fourth time, / got the
"'Scotch Harebell," two Of each. For
my own mother got one Belle of the
Prairies " and one Invisible Combina-
ton Gossamer. I did not forget good
old Mamma Chloe and Mamma Jane.
For them [ got substantial cages, with
out names. With these tied in the
shape Of figure Fights in the bottom of
my trunk, as said, put in an assorted
'cargoof dry goods above, and, favored bya
pass, and Mai. Mulford's courtesy on
the flag truce boat, I arrived safely
at Richmond before the autumn closed.
I was received at home with rapture.
But when, the next morning, opened
my stores, this became rapture doubly
enraptured. Words cannot tell the 81
lent delight with which old and young,
black and white, surveyed those fairy
like structures, yet unbroken and I'M
mended.
Perennial summer reigned that au-
tumn day in that reunited family. It
reigned the next day, and the next. 1t
would have reigned till now if the Bel
monies and the other things would last
as long as the advertisements declare !;
and what is more the Confederacy would
have reigned till now, President Davis
and General Lee, but for that great
misery, which all families understand,
which eliminated in our great misfort-
Tne.
/ was up in the cedar closet one day
looking for an old parade cap of mine.
which, I thought, though it was my
third best, might look better than my
second best, which I had worn ever
since my best was lost at Seven Pines.
I say I was standing on the lower shelf
of the cedar closet, when, as [ stepped
along in the darkness my right foot
caught in bit of wire, my left did not
give way in time, and [ fell with small
wooden hat box in my hand, full on the
floor. The corner of the hat box struck
me Just below the second frontal sinus.
and [ tainted away.
When I came to myself I was in the
blue chamber [ had vinegar on brown
paper on my forehead; the room was
dark, and I found mother sitting by me,
glad enough indeed to hear my voice
and to know that [ knew her. 1t was
some time, before | fully understood
what had happened. Then she brought
me cup Of tea, and |, quite refreshed,
said I must go to my Office.
coffee, my child p said she. "Your
leg is broken above the ankle; you will
not move these SIX weeks. Where Go
you suppose you are p
Till then I had no notion that it was
five minutes since / went into the closet.
When she told me the time-5 in the
afternoon-I groaned in the lowest
depths. For in my bre st pocket in
that innocent coat, which [ could now
see lying on the window seat, were the
duplicate dispatches to Mr.. Mason, for
which, late the night before, had got
the Secretary's signature. They were
to go at 10 that morning to Wilmington,
by the Navy Departments special mes
senger. [ had taken them to insure
care and certainty. I had worked on
them till midnight, and they had not
been signed till near / o'clock !! Heav-
ems and earth, and there it was 5 o'clock
The man must be half way to Whining