The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1880-12-09
Men and Women.

Among all the burdens that woman is
called upon to bear, there is none that
can be made SO CALLING to her as the
burden of dependence. Man is usually,
in the life of the family, the bread-win-
ner. However much he may be helped
by woman in the economies of home
life, he is usually the one who earns and
carries the money on which the family
subsists. Whatever money the woman
wants comes to her from his hands, as
rule. Now, this money can be given
into her hands in such q way that she
cannot only preserve her self-respect,
but rejoice in her dependence; or it can
be given to her in such way that she
will feel like dog when she asks for it
and when she receives it-in such a
way that she will curse her dependence,
and mourn over all the shame and hu-
sorry to believe that there are multi
tudes of wives and daughters and Sis
ters, who wear fine clothing and who fare
sumptuously every day, who would pre-
fer to earn the money they spend to re-
ceiving it from the ungracious and incon-
siderate hands upon which they depend.
If we had entitled this article "a
Study of Husbands" it would have led
us more directly, perhaps, to our main
purpose; but the truth is that what we
have to say has to do with dependent
women in all the relations of life. 1t is
natural for woman, as it is for man, to
desire to spend money in her own way
to be free to choose, and free to
economize, and free to spend whatever
may be spent upon herself or her ward
robe. 1t is a delightful privilege to be
free, and to have ones will with what
ever expenditures may be made for
ones own conveniences or necessities.
A man who will interfere with this free
dom, and who will deny this privilege
to those who depend upon him, is either
thoughtless or brutal. We know
and women all know--men who are
very generous toward their dependents,
but who insist on reserying to them
selves the pleasure of purchasing
whatever the women of their house
holds may want, and then handing it
over to them in the form of presents.
The women are loaded with nice dresses
and jewlery, and these are bestowed in
the same way in which a Turk lavishes
his fayors upon the slaves of his harem.
Now, it is undoubtedly very gratifying
to these men to exercise their taste
upon the necessities and fineries of their
dependent women, and to feast them
selves upon the surprises and the thanks
of those receiving their favors; but it
is a superlatively selfish performance.
If these women could only have had
in their hands the money which these
gifts costs, they would have spentit bet
ter and they would have gratified their
own tastes. A man may be generous
enough to give to woman the dress
es and ornaments she wears, who is
very far from being generous enough
to give her money, that she may freely
purchase what she wants, and have the
great delight of choosing.
This is one side mot a very repulsive
one-of mans selfishness in his deal
ings with women; but there is another
side that is disgusting to contemplate.
There are great multitudes of faithful
wives, obedient daughters and '1eft
over" sisters, to whom there is never
given a willing penny. The brute who
occupies the head of the family never
gives dollar to the women dependent
upon him without making them feel
the yoke of their dependence, and
tempting them to curse their lot, with
all its terrible humiliations. Heaven
pity the poor women who may be de-
pendent upon him-women who never
ask him for money when they can
avoid it, and never get it until they
have been made to feel as meanly hum
BILE as if they had robbed a hen-roost!
There is but one manly way in treat
ing this relation Of dependent women.
If a man recognizes q woman as de-
he must do so, so far at
least as his wife and daughters are con-
acknowledges certain duties
which he owes to them. His duty is to
support them, and, so far as he can do
it, to make them happy. He certainly
cannot make them happy if, in all his
treatment of them, he reminds them of
their dependence upon him. We know
of no better form into which he can
put the recognition of his duty than
that of an allowance. freely and
paid whenever it may be
called for. If a man acknowledges to
himself that he owes the duty OF sup
port to the women variously related to
him in his household, let him generous
ly determine how much money he has
to spend upon each, and tell her Just
how much she is at liberty to call upon
him for per annum. Then it stands in
the relation of q debt to the woman,
which she is at liberty to call for and to
spend according to her own judgment.
We have watched the working of this
plan, and it works well. We have
the working of other plans,
and they do not work well. We have
for instance, the working of
the plan of the generous husband and
father, who says: "Come to me for
what you want, whenever you want it.
don't wish to limit you. Some years
you will want more and some less"
This seems very generous; but, in
truth, these women prefer to know
about what the man thinks they ought |
TO spend, or about what he regards as
the amount he can afford to have them |
spend. Having gained this knowledge |
by a voluntarily-proffered allowance,
they Immediately adapt their expendi- |
lures to their means and are perfectly |
content. 1t is comfort to depend |
ent woman to look upon definite sum |
Is her own-as one that has been set |
aside for her exclusive use and behoof. |
A great multitude of the discomforts |
hat attach to a dependent woman's |
ot arise from the obtuseness and |
.houghtlessness of the men upon whom |
hey depend. They are some men so
made that they cannot appre-
,iate woman's sensitiveness in asking
or money. They honestly intend to
10 their duty-even to deal generously
by the women dependent upon them;
'ut they cannot understand why a
woman should object to come to them
or what they choose to give her. If
hey will ask their wives to tell them
rankly how they can improve their
these wives will answer that
hey can do it by putting into their
lands, or placing within their call, all
he money per annum which they think
hey can afford to allow them, and not
o compel them to appeal to their hus-
'ands as suppliants for money when
'ver they may need a dollar or the quar-
er of one.
The absolutely brutal husband and
ather will hardly read this article, but