Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1880-10-30
a'lreiuia FIRE gress.
Well dr.lled-The oil region.

feet
Why +. Il that tie circus elephant never
KILLS the clown or the lemonade man!
The FIREPLACE is a great thing, but an old
oyster can punched fun OF holes Is a CRATER
Prnd hearts and lofty mountains arc al
WAYS barren
We believe the disease that has the most
terror for women Is lock-law.
The Young lady who married her fathers
eoachnian. saws she was driven TO 1t.
1t is perfectly natural that man should
sec his mistake after he has made H.
The SAUSAGE IS the only species of ground
hos that does not hibernate IN the winter
Where to go when short Of moncy-so to
work
Good silver coin Is known by the ring
and So also is the good circus.
The man whowalks home under an at
tack Of vertigo, didn't have very vertigo
American actors seem TO be always very
popular In Loudon-until they act.
When girl talks about two strings to
Yoman's love for her flower garden does
not show its full strength until the first frost
comes.
rousing meetiug-when the cowhide
comes i'm contact with the drowsy boy most
realistic anatomy.
There WAS a man who inquired o.
have" and lust then he was struck by
lightning. and served him right.
The roreeousncss of numerous red noses
olive emphasis to the well-knOwn remark
that AL that glitters is not gold.
When a pickpocket pulls at your watch
tell hrm plainly that YOU have NO time TO
spare.
Susan b. Anthony SAYS George Fraucis
Train Is the last man She wants To marry
Wh3 was the first, sue?
Husband" Mary, my love, this apple
dumping IS not half done
Wife" Wen, finish it. then, my dear
That woman who neglects her husbands
shirt front Is no Longer the wife OF ms boz
som.
~Pepnv-wi,e. pound-fooliSh, soliloquizg.d
tbe imam I'm church. and heput the penny in
the box and the pound in his pocket.
Mrs. Younrwonan wants toknow. "what
IS the best way tomark table linen: Leave
the baby and a blackberry pie alone at the
table for three minutes.
The time is coming around again when
man cannot open his window 10 shout 40 a
na,,inr friend without either removing or
..+-,,.- ., l.lf 1nynu flower nOfS
See" said sorrowing wife, "howpeacc-
fll the cat and dog are Yes said the
p,tulant husband. "but Just tie them to-
gether, and then see how che fur viii fly
An exchange saws. Good wives are
wanted I'm the Northwest Surely this IS
not strange. Is there amy place where they
are not wanted?
The Young ladies of West Philadelphia
have organized q Dickens club. a.. tae
Young men at present feel ike going 90 the
Dickens.
Pm hungry. and what will you do for
mc2' inquired lazy tramp. GIVE YOU
good advice. Don't eat salt or you'll be
thirsty
An article i'm an exchange says: " Once
tnert was q man. IL '"c N'I'~i "''''. ''.''
his Bhie he would learn tl'' onoe '''''0
Vasu. a man.
Maria Mercedes Isabella, nowyou DONE
90 q stu.iin' dat ar crown jewel down go
ittlc throat, or tha's goin' 90 be trouble;
dye hear mc, chile.
-ra. .;o,.. g.. ...,,,,...., ,r.-.-l salin when 4
man c,nnor ,ran hi. window t6 shout at q
rs.-,,e f-,o,,j vi.bagr either removing OF
up-cf-ing "a half dozen flower po's.
..Csr : DIV. INV SOP. "a COLLEGE educat-ona Ut
so-oe9" q.z.a fond parent Certan.r.-
An vou w.,ni Is =, base bali Guide. p racing
shri and n na.,,aos of cigarettes
IT,. D.. ami or- .f fv, dozen boarding
-. l-..,,,'~. -i,,, ,...,r.r,I IN tb..stIir,na-
-;r..
....
Son and heir Ni1' l wish you "G1i'n =
=, eat ail the lam. AM oranges. am cakes. am
thinrs to- amuse her."
X '''' f.ii 'a'n ''N'l q o'', ''''' Vt
gam e'li,i't Il %. WIS % sun. WOE '' '"' '''
N'r, and t1' or-in'si rcr.i'd; lang iD
AFTER the CHOIR OF one oi 'He cn-f.-,, 'l
t.A't, 'iH leI''''N-' "''.l",I o -,''
uon' ''e minister opened 'i.e hl3'o @'1 D'
gan re'iai45 'u A.y'' M iii" "'''' ''