The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-07-22
Venerable but Good

Mot long after he was called to the bar,
his character and peculiar talents re-
ceived recognition from all who were
casually acquainted with him. His tai
emit for vitnpe,ative language was per-
celved, and by sor he was, even in
those days, considf I'd matchless as a
scold.
There was, how yer, at this time in
Dublin certain oman, Biddy Mortar.
ity, who had huckster's stall in one Of
the Tuays nearly opposite the -Four
Courts. She was q virago of the first
order, very able with her fist and still
more formidable with her tongue. From
one end of Dublin to the other she was
notorious for her powers of abuse, and
even in the provinces Mrs. Moriarity's
language had passed into currency. The
dictionary of Dublin slang had been
considerably enlarged by her, and her
volublc impudence had almost become
proverbial. Some of O'Connell's friends,
however, thought that he could beat her
at the use of her own weapons OF
this, however, he had some doubts him
self, when he had listened once or twice
to some minor specimens OF her billings
gate. 1t was mooted once whether the
young Kerry barrister could encounter
her, and some of the company I'm OCon-
xfhell's presence) rather too freely ridi-
euled the idea of his being able to meet
the famous Madame Moriarity. OCon-
nell never liked the idea OF being put
down, and he professed his readiness to
encounter her, and even backed himself
for the match. Bets were offered and
taken-it was decided that the match
should come off at once.
The party adjourned to the huckster's
stall, and there was the owner herself
experimenting the sale Of her small
wares; few loungers and ragged idlers
were hanging round her stall-for Biddy
was "a character, and, in her way, was
one of the sights of Dublin.
OConnell was very confident of sue
cess. He had laid an ingenious plan
for overcoming her, and, with all the
anxiety of an ardent eXperimentalist,
waited to put it into practice. He re.
solved to open the attack. AT this time
O'Connells own audience, and the loun-
gers about the place, formed an audience
quite sufficient to arouse Mrs. Moriarity,
on public proyocation, to due exhibit
ton of her powers OConnell conf
menced the attack:
whats the price of this walking
stick, Mrs. What's-your-name r
"Moriality, sir, is my name, and a
good one it is; and what have you to
say agen it 7 and -and-sixpence's the
price OF the stick. Troth, it's chape as
dirt, so it is"
"One-and-sixpence TO: a walking,
stick whew why, YOU are no better
than an imposter to ask eighteen pence
for what cost you twopence."
"Twopence, your grandmother !" re-
Piled Mrs. Biddy; "do you name to say
it's chatting the people am Imposter
indeedP
cave, imposter, and it's that l call
YOU to your teeth" rejoined O'Connell.
''Come, cut your stick, you cantanker-
Gus jackanapes.
keep = civil tongue in your head.
YOU old diagonal cried O'Connell,
calmly.
'Stop you jaw, you pug nosed badger,
or by this and that" cried Mrs. Mortar
ity, "I'll make YOU 90 out quicker nor
YOU came.
Don't be in passion, my old radius,
anger will only wrinkle your beauty"
"By the hockey, if You say another
word of impudence, I'll tan your dirty
hide, YOU bastely common scrub; and
sorry I'd be to soil my fists upon your
carcass"
"Whewl boys, what passion old
Biddy is in; protest as a gentleman"
"Jintleman, jintleman the likes of
you jintlemanl Wisha, by gor, that
bangs Banagher. Why, you potato
faced pip,insneezer, when did NADIA
gascar monkey like you pick up enough
common Christian decency to hide your
Kerry brogueP
easy, now-easy, now, crie,l OCon-
nell, with imperturbable good humor;
"dont choke yourself with fine language,
you old whisky drinking paratlelogram"
whats that you call me, you muir
derin' villaini' roared Mrs. Moriarty,
stung to fury.
81 call you," answered O'Connell ga
parallelogram, and Dublin Judge and
Jury will say its no libel to call you so. /"