The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-10-14
THE PHILOSOPHERS BABY.

I had been considering for about n
year whether | should marry Winifred
Hanway, when I heard that she was en-
gagged to the philosopher. Why did she
accept him? 1t is true that he is both
imaginative and critical, but faculties cx-
ercised in the formation of psychological
hypothesis and the laborious destruction
of those of ones neiGhbor do not usually
rouse the sympathy of bright and
beautiful girl, who is more fit tolive than
to think about life. He is certainly hand
some, but as certainly his clothes are
barbarous. His trousers can not keep
their shape for day, and his hats are
never new. If he notices the rain, he
opens an umbrella which might have
served as an Intellectual protection at the
time of the deluge if he finds out that
it is cold, he assumes garment which
might have been the everyday coat Of
Mcthuselah. His manners are as strange
rs his appearance. He may be seen
walking in the park at the fashionable
hour with far-oif look in his eyes and
his hat thrust back as if to lessen the
external pressure on his active brain /;
more rarely You may hear him bursting
into enthusiasm in Piccadilly, though
Piccadilly is the last place i'll which a
man should allow himself to be cnthu-
siastc In short, though he is n true
friend, he is an uncomfortable acquaint-
ance and his volcanic utterances, after
long periods of calm contemplation,
cause such shocks to ones nerves as
would be conveyed to the Sunday citizen
by the eruption of Primrose Hill. But
if it was odd that the beautiful Winifred
Hanway should marry my friend it was
yet more odd that he should marry any
one. There were no topics more certain
10 excite an explosion in the philosopher
than the excessive population of the
country, and the wholesome solitude of
The Thinker. How" he would fiercely
ask, "can man think eifectually on
fundamental subjects, who is compelled
by the despicable circumstances of his
life to exhaust his analytical faculty in
considering how to pay his butcher and
when to buy his Goals? | tell you, sir,
it's better to starve with cold and hunger
than to debase ones noblcst part to a
game of skill with a grasping grocer.
Again and again [ have heard him de-
claim in this preposterous fashion; and
after all, he was going to the altar like
any other victim, and would doubtless
take house upon his back with the do
cllity OF q snail.
could not solve the problem
would not give it up. So, full of the de-
termination to drag Diogenes out of his
tub and the secret ont of Diogencs,
stepped round the corner to offer my
CONGRATULATIONS. Nv friend was in his
study apparently writing, really eating {
quill pen. He rose at me with n rush
wrung my hand till it ached, and blushcd
rather uncomfortable. Congratulations
are the curse of the Briton. Whether
he is offering them or receiving them, he
;s roporollv oblioad IN take rcfupo in in.
termittent hondsIaking. and most of hi.
sentences fall off into grunts and grcans
But ON this occasion It was evident iha
the pbilosopher had something r,sCv Il
saw and was ncryouslv anxious TO ,uy it
Indeed had Lordiv soid more Il.gl
"Mv dear fellow I don't know vhcI
Lam really so clad,
it is every way SO, such a Satisfactory
YOU know y | really do wisl, al
possible and al that sort Of thing, vol
know =" when ho hurst in with n speecl
SO Aueptlv delivered that knew wa.
NOT his earliest visitor tLat morning.
"Ofc CO Sc it's taken you by surprise,
he said. as knew it would: but tn,
truth is that have been thinking of i
for long time. and [ am sure an
right" Here | tried to get in an expires
sion of wonder at his new notion OF duty
but he was bent on being rid OF the mat
ter, and hurried on to his reasons II
the first place, said he, 81 am sure that
instead OF increasing my domestic wor
rles, my marriage will transfer them III
hody to my wife !; and, secondly, when
consider the vast number OF fools wh'
are every day born into the world, l an
terrified nv tho rictIlro Of what the mex