Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1880-09-09

Before retiring MIR. Spoopendyke ex-
amined the suit, and then began to get
into it.
"Why didn't you make some legs to
it9 What dye want to make it all arms
fors" he inquired, struggling around to see
why it didn't come up behind.
"Youve got it on sidewise," exclaimed
Mrs. Spoopendyke. You've got one leg
into the sleeve.
I've got to get it on sideways There
amt any. top to it. Don't you know
enough to put the arms up where they
belong9 What dye think am, anyhow9
A star-fshs Where dees this leg go2"
fright in there; that's the place for
that leg.
"Then where's the leg that goes in
this hole2
"Why the other leg.'
"The measly thing is all legs. Who'd
you make this thing for-meG What
dye take me for centipedeG Who
else is going to get in here with me2 /
want some body else. amt twins. I
can't Eli this business up. What dye
call it, anyway, family machineG"
"Those other places amt legs; they're
sleeves"
"What are they doing there2 Why
amt they up where they belongs' Sup.
pose I'm going to stand on my head to
get my arms in those holcs9'
don't think you've got it ON right, I"
suggest d Mrs. Spoopendyke. SIT locks
twisted"
'That's the way you told me. You
said, Put this leg here and that one
there and there they are. Now where
does the rest of me go2"
81 made it according to the pattern"
sighed Mrs. spoopendyke.
''Then it's all rlght,lt's me that's twist
ed," sneered Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Ill
have my arms and legs altered. All
want is to have my legs jammed in the
small of my back, and my arms stuck in
my hips; then lt'n mt. What did you
take for pattern, crab? Where'd you
find the lobster you made this from9
S'pose I'm going into the water on all
fours2 I told you l wanted bathing
suit, didn't II Did say anything about
chair cover2"
II think if you take it off and try it on
over again it'll work. reasoned Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
"Oh, Of course, I've only got to humor
the blasted thing. That's all it wants" q"
andMr. Spoopendyke wrenched it off
with growl. ....
"Now pull it on said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke:
Mr.. Spoopendyke went at it again and
reversed the order of disposing his limbs.
"Suit you nows'' he howled. ''That's
the way you meant it to9 What's these
things Hopping around hereS'
"Those are the legs, I'm afraid, said
Mrs, Spoopendyke, dejectedly.
"What are they doing up here9 I see;
oh, l see, this is supposed to represent
me making dive. When get this on,
I'm going head first. Where's the bal
anceY Where's the rest? Give me the
suit that represents me head up,' and
Mr.. Spoopendyke danced around the
room in fury.
"Just turn it over, my DEAR" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, "and you are all right
"How'm I going to turn it overt"
yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Spose I'm
going to carry around steam boiler to
turn me over when want the other end
OF this thing ups S'pose I'm going to
hire man to 60 around with griddle
spoon and turn me over like far, jack,
just to please this dod blasted bathing
sult9 Dye think I Work on pivotsf''
"Just take it off and put 1t on the 9TH
er way" urged Mrs. Spoopendyke, who
began to see her way clear.
Mr.. Spoopendyke kicked the structure
up to the ceiling and plunged into 1t once
more. This time it came out all right,
and as he buttoned it up and surveyed
himself in the glass the clouds passed
away and he smiled.
~ like it." he remarked; ''the color
suits me, and I think you have done very
well, my dear; only" and he frowned
slightly, 81 wish you would mark the
arms and legs SO I can distinguish ene
from the other, or some day I will pre-
sent the startling spectacle of respecta-
bic elderly gentleman hopping about the
beach upside down. That's all."-BrOok-
| Ign Eagle.