davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
Greeley on LAWYERS.


The late Horace Greeley did not
like lawyers. A gentleman tells this
story:
"Mr. Greeley" said Partridge, "this
Is Denslow, young attorney" Greeley
uttered a short grunt of recognition, but
did not even look around. I, embar-
raised, shrunk away to one corner, and
took a chair. He went around the room,
looking at pictures, and what not, and
in about five minutes, when his back
was turned on me, and I thought he had
forgotten me, he suddenly, without
looking at me, said, Hem so you are
an attorney, are you?"
L confessed it. II hate lawyers; they
do more mischief than their heads are
WORTH"
II suppose they are necessary evil"
l suggested deprecatingly.
"Wholly unnecessary" he insisted.
IT suppose you will acknowledge" I
said, "that they promote good order
and remove impediments to good gov
eminent"
"Just the contrary! just the contrary!"
he squeaked in his old falsetto; "they
cause disorder, and are the chief obsta.
Gle to good government"
thought the man was crazy. per-
haps you will tell me-" suggested,
chow bad debts could be collected with
out attorneys?''
"Don't want 'em collected! don't
want 'em collected!" he squeaked; eff
A lets B have his property without pay
ment I don't see why G, D, E, F and all
the rest of the alphabet should be called
upon to act as police to get it back No
debt should be collected by law. It's
monstrous. Let man trust another
man at his own risk. Even gambler
pays debts that he isn't legally Obliged
to pay, and calls them debts of honor;
but men will put their property out of
their hands to prevent the legal collection
of their grocery bills. Abolish all laws
for the collection of debt, and that will
abolish most of your lawyers-good rid
dance"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
Same Thing With tho Ancient,

There was an expression of unusual
pleasantly on the face Of the wrathful
Achilles that morning, and the crafty
Ulysses accosted him with more than hi
wonted heartiness on that account.
"You're out early this morning." re-
marked the willy one.
Yes" said the sulky one, "but then
I was out late last night. You see, I had
q pretty good thing on my mind, this
morning, and I was afraid il I slept too
long, I might forget it. I was out last
night, went down to see Briseis, in fact.
aud sat up pretty late. Fact is. Tn
clear gone there. No use talking. she
just breaks me all up. Well, when I
came away somebody had sat on my hat.
new Broadway style, and we had time
STRENGTHENING it out. I says, says T.
never thought of it before, either, just
popped into my head at that minute,
'Briseis, dear 1 says. and I c1apped il
on her head, both mashed; both
mashed on Briseis, see p
Mashed 2" repeated Ulysses, in some
wonder. "Mashed? I don't see. You
weren't mashed. You great giant, why
all the cavalry in Diomedes' camp might
run over YOU and not"
But Achilles, with look of wrathful
disgust settling down over his face, strobe
away to his tent. "Patroclus! he cried.
and when the young man appeared he
said to him:
"Take q conch shell and two bass
drums and go down behind Ulysses tent
and practice overtures all day. And, il
he says anything about it, send him to
me-"
And he told his arnor-bearer that
there wasn't enough intellectual culture
IN all Greece to-day, to 60 around o
ph@nician primary school in the holi-
e;lays.-Burlingto,s Ha,vk-E Eye.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
~ NJ
HaAit. !.

There was once . horse that was used
70 pull! around . sweep, which lifted dirt
from edepths Of the earth. HeVas Kent
at the business for nearly twenty wears.
until he became old, blind, and too stA
IN the joints to be Of further use. So he
vas turned into pasture, or left to crop
the grass without any one to disturb or
But the funny thing about the old
horse was that every morning, after graz-
ing while, he would start on q trsmD.
goin ground and round in q circle. lust
as he had been accustomed to do for 40
man years. He would keep it mn for
hours, and people often stopped to look
and wonder what had got into the head
of the venerable animal to make him
walk around in such solemn wav when
there was no earthly need of it.
But it was the force of habit. And the
boy who forms bad or good habits in his
youth will be led by them when he be-
comes old, and will be miserable or
happy accordingly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
! M ii X = ! u

ssE y:''s u ms. :. '. Il. xooN1.
He sought her window softly,
And gently knes6ng there
Tho sweetest notes Of music
Burst on the balmy cir.
Tho moon laughed down In beauty,
Glance ran from star to stag,
Al II they Whispered, "Listen
To tho lovers light guitar"
~ Jove thee, dearest, love thee
Throw ope thy window w1de-
No longer, darling, from mo
Thy form angelic hide.
Harki now I hear thy footsteps,
And soon thy faco III see,
For Light, love, from thy window
10 streaming oyer me-.
b still, my heart, thy mistress
Hath heard thy fondest prayer"
Then softly opo'd the lattice
Out ON tho midnight air
Was thrust tho head Of Biddy,
With Ill it, wealth Of hair,
SO clustering and 10 yellow,
And thus upon the air,
Out In the moonlight mellow,
In ringing tones and clear:
"6he's AZ Wid mother fellow
IT, me that's slsapen here"
ea9o Ledger.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

The geographical center of the United
States is at IS deg. AT min. west longi-
tude, which is about the vicinity of
Omaha. The center of population, con
sidering the United States plane sur
face, itself without weight, but capable
OF sustaining weight, and leveled with it's
inhabitants, in number and position
such as they are found, and each indi-
vidual being assumed to be of equal
weight, and consequently to exert press
ure on the pivotal point, directly pro
portioned to his distance therefrom.
both north and south and east and west.
is at q point forty-eight miles east and q
tride north of Cincinnati.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
Warts.


As much o. warts and corns may be
thought to resemble each other, they
are quite different in origin, character
and means Of cure. A corn is simply q
thickening and hardening of the scarf
skin, or epidermis. It is always caused
by pressure, and is removed only by the
removal of the pressure. And we may
here state that, so absolutely are they
thus removed, protracted period Of
sickness will gradually lift them wholly
out Of the flesh.
A wart, on the contrary, belongs to
the skin, proper-the vera c,.tis-and
consists of an abnormal growth of one
or more papill@, in which the nerves or
blood vessels terminate. For this rea-
son, while the substance of corn is as
insensible Us that of the finger-nail, the
substance of wart is peculiarly sensi-
tive beneath the scarf-skin which covers
the head of the papillB, and which these
carry with them as they push upward.
In most cases, as the equalized action
OF the parts is restored they go off of
themselves. They can be speedily re-:
moved, however, by touching them re-
peatedly with nitrate of silver, or by ap-
plying nitric acid to their extrcmities.
Care should be taken not to touch the
adjacent skin.
Many superstitious notions prevail re-
speeding the cure of warts, among the
people. They have been handed down
from the remotest times, when supersti-
ton had more to do with medical meth
DDS generally than true science.
In the aged, when the cuticle is hard,
the epithetical cells, instead of develop
ing upward, develop downward into the
tissues, and give rise to painful tumors,
which the physician alone can eradicate.
Sometimes "moles" tend to enlarge
and become painful. A little nitric acid
applied to them a few times will arrest
the ENTHUSIASTICALLY Communion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
Feet Distortion I'm China.

The binding of child's feet is not be-
gun until she has learned to walk and
do certain things for herself, as it would
be difficult, if not impossible, to teach
her afterward. The rich bind their
children's feet from the 9Th or 7th year,
but the poor do not begin until they are
IL, or even older. Parents who have
been forced by poverty to sell Q daugh-
ter as q slave when she was o child, will
bring her back afterward if they can,
and then, no matter how old she is, they
bind up her feet and marry her as lady.
But the pain of binding q full-grown
foot Is said to be most intense. Strong
white bandages two inches wide are
manufactured for the purpose. Those
worn the first year are two yards long.
andabout five feet is thelength worn after
ward. The following, according to Miss
Fielde, is the method adopted: s. The end
of the strip is laid on the inside of the
foot at the instep, and then carried over
the top of the toes and under the foot,
drawing the four toes with it down upon
the sole; thence it is passed over the
foot and around the heel and by this
stretch the toes and the heel are drawn
together, leaving bulge on the in
step and deep indentation in the
sole, under the instep. This course
is gone over in successive layers of
bandage until the strip of cloth is all
used, and the final end is sewn tight
down." To please Chinawoman, the
"indentation must measure an inch
and half from the part of the foot
which rests on the ground up to the in
step. The toes are then completely
drawn over the sole, and the foot is so
squeezed upward that in walking only
the ball of the great toe touches the
ground. Large quantities of powdered
alum are used when the feet are first
bound, and always afterward, to prevent
liberation and lessen the offensive odor.
The bandage is taken off only once q
month. At the end of the first month
the foot is put in hot water, and, after it
has been allowed to soak some time, the
bandage is carefully unwound, "the
dead cuticle, Of which there is so much,
being abraded during the process of un-
binding. When the foot is entirely un-
bound, it is not unusual to find ulcers
and other denominations. Frequently,
too," we are told, "a large piece of flesh
sloughs off the sole, and It sometimes
happens that one or two toes drop off. :"
When this happens, the patient consid-
ers himself amply repaid for the addi-
tional suffering by having smaller and
more delicate feet than her neighbors
Indeed, the desire to have small feet IS so
intense that girls will slyly tighten their
own bandages in spite Of the pain
Chambers Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

For the speedy cure Of Consumption and Ill
diseases that lead to it. such a. stubborn
Coughs, neglected Colds, Bronchitis, Hay Few
or, Asthma, pain In the side aud chest, DRY
hacking cough, tickling in the throat, Hoarse-
ness, Sore Throat, and all chronic or lingering
New Discovery has no equal and has estab-
ltshed for itself . world. wide reputation. Many
leading physicians recommend and use It in
their practice. The formula from which It is
prepared 10 highly recommended by ali med
ical journals. The clergy and the press have
Go to your druggist and get trial bottle free
Of cost, or q regular size for 81. For sale at
Wholesale and retail by Gray & Hon1in, Min
neapolis.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

KEEP the stables clean. Clear out
the manure every morning, and scrape
or card off all filth from the animals
The stable should be made 30 warm
that the manure will not freeze 1t night
A lower temperature will either demand
. larger amount of food or the animal
will fall off in condition.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

"Wm1 you have some cream and
glucose in your coffee ?" is the question
now propounded from the maternal end
Of the breakfast table. EYES," answers
pater-fanailias, "and pass the oleomar-
Rarine,"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
Guard AHainat Disease

If you find yourself getting bilious,
head heavy, mouth foul, eyes yellow, kid.
neys disordered, symptoms Of piles tor
menting YOU, take at once few doses OF
Kidney Wort. It is natures great as
sistant. Use it as an advance guard
don't wait to get down sick.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

largements Of vide culture, hers would
have bean absolutely the ideal home. A
it wa, It Was the best homo that I have
ever seen.-Halen Hunt. >t"..
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

The voltatc lselt Co.. Marshall. Mich.
viii send their Electric Voltaic Belts to the
afflicted upon 30 days t:ial. See their adver-
tiseU'ent in this paper headed. "On 30 Days
Trial."
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
Inv the SisWaiJ

With Cranes Patent Automatic Tension
Liberator, and all latest improvements. The
best Sewing Machine made. Agents wanted
Address SIGwALr SEWING MACHINE Co.,
236 Wabash Az Chicnpo I'm.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

William II: Wilson, NJ. D., Springfield, Ell.
6ngton Co., Ga, says. II pres cribed Hunts
remedy in complicated case of Dropsy which
had been treating for eight years, and find
Hunts remedy Is the best medicine for Drop
~ and the Kidneys, have ever used" Trial
aixe Is cents
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10
Worthless Stun.

SUM.
Not so fast my friend; if you could see
the strong, healthy, blooming men, wo-
men and children that have been raised
from beds of sickness, suffering and al.
most death, by the use of Hop Bitters.
you would say. "Glorious and invalu.
able remcdy."-Pyess,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

After trying oil other remedies for nasal ca
taErh, colds IN the head, hay fever and neural
gia, call on 8. Dlackford, l46 West Third street
81. Paul, and get bottle of DR.. e. b. Halli.
days Blood Purifier aud bottle of Halliday
Oetarrh Inhaiect, and If it does not benefit
you more than anything you ever tried, return
tho empty bottles and get your money. That'a
bUsineaa. Try it,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

A CARD.-To all Who are suffering from the o.
!ors snd ndecreto1s OF youth nervous weakness ear
y6scay. LOSE Of MAJ hood etc, will send recipe tn q
Will cure you, 1REE CHARGE. This great remedy
80 discovered BY = missionary In South Amerios
Hend self addressed envelope 70 the Rev. JOSEPH
y. 1NMAN, Station ., New York CITY.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

This is unhappily an age of skepticism. but
there Is one point upon which persona &C.
9uainted with the subject agree, namely, that
DR.. Thomas Electric Oil is a medicine which
can be relied upon to cure a cough, remove
pain. heal sores Of various kinds, and benefit
any indamed portion of the body to which It
Is applied. Note.-Eclectric selected and cleo
tried. Noyes Bros & Cutler, wholesale
agents, st, Paul, MINI.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

DauEhterN, wires ana M0ther~.
Dr. MAkCHiSiS UTERINE CATHOLICON will
sositvely cure Female Weakness such ~ Falling OF
heWomb, w hites. Chronic Inflammation or liberation
Of the Womb. Incidental Hemorrhase or Flooding
PAtnful Suppressed and Irregular Mcnstruation, &C.
An OLD and reliable remedy. Send postal card for
pamphlet with treatment cures and certificates from
physteians and patients, to HOWARTH kBALLARD.
UTICA, N. Y. Sold By all druggiss-@l6O psr bottle
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

A book on the Liver: it, diseases and their
treatment sent free. Including treatieee unon
Liver Complaints, Torpid Liver. Jaundice
Biliousness, Headache, Constipation, Dyspep-
SO, Malaria. eto. Address Dr. Sanford, 10
Broadway, New York city, NJ
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

Lyons Heel Stfeners keep boots and shoes
straight Sold BY all shoe and hardware deal.
All diseases arising from disordered stom.
ach yield at once to Reeds Gilt Edge Tonic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

sure basis of popularity. appar-
cnt to "cloud Of witnesses" is the basis upon
which the popularity of Thomas Electric Oil
is founded. Throat and lung complaints, pain,
soreness, stiffness, swelling, burns, and all.
ments of various other kinds, yield 10 this &C.
ton OF this speedy and safe remedy. Note
Eclectric, selected and electrified. Bros,
| Il Cutler, wholesale agents, st. Paul, Mhn.,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

The trade mark Is on every package OF the
Frazer Axle Grease. buy only the genuine.
For sale everywhere.
National Yeast takes the lead.
G. Gilbert's Starches are always pure.
Everybody takes It, Reeds Gilt Edge Tonic.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

How ran . case of nasal catarrh be cured BY
inhalation alone7 1t has been known to ct
away the entire palate and often tho nose,
thereby becoming ecrofula, and has 10 be treat
ed tho same as any other scrofulous disease,
and the only true way is through tho blood.
That the people Of the West are fast finding
this out will be seen by the orders Noyes Bros.
4 Cutler are having for DR.. E. B. Halliday
Blood Purifier and Catarrh lnhalent.
DR.. c. E. Shoemaker, the well-known aural
surgeon of Reading, Pr, offers t. ID by mail
free Of charge, variable little book on deaf.
ness and diseases of the ear-specially on run.
ningear and catarrh, and their proper treatment
giving references and testimonials that viii
satisfy the most skeptical. Address a. above
BucAleM's AFnlco save.
The Best Salve in the world, for CUT, Bruis.
e., Sores. Ulcers. Salt Rheum, Fever sores
letter. Chapped Hands, Chilblains, Cons, and
ill kinda Of Skin Eruptions This saivo d
guaranteed to give perfect satisfaction in every
case or money refunded. Price Is cents per
Box. For sale At wholesale by Gray d Hoi.
eip. MinneADolfA
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-06-10

LILO uutCef1nB lace curtains aWOke the
beautiful woman, and, attempting to
rise, fell back with q cry of pain.
Darling, rest quiet; you are with
me-"
"Auntie, I am well, but oh so weak
what is the matter? p
You have been almost at deaths
door, Mabel, but are all right. You
must not talk"
II know he is dead, for saw his
grave. Auntie, I must die, too"
"Not while love YOU So" said n
deep, rich voice; and Capt. Thornton
bent and kissed her face.
You here Are you and Susie liv-
ing here?"
my Cousin Harold and Susie were
married last winter, and I, darling. was
only hiding my time"
cit has come, Frank, for I am free to
love you now"
He bent again. Her face was covered
with kisses. II was going to see you
at Susie's request, when I was carried
by my stopping-place from carelessness;
and, as you entered the car door you
fell almost in my arms. took this
letter which your aunt and I perused
together, and have found out q great
deal since from the matron of the asy-
lum, for I have been to see her; and,
from your raving while i'll, know ALL"
"You must not talk so much, Mabel"
said her aunt.
odd you find out my poor father
thong lit he had wronged the boy? He.
by his falsehoods, made NV father
force me to marry him; led him into
lawsuit; told him he would dishonor his
name; and I secretly obeyed his dying
request; married the boy, who shortly
after went crazy from his wrong deeds
to a poor, honest man like my father.
worked for him while was 50 poor.
and kept him in the best asylum I could:
and, when I was made rich, gave him ali
the comforts in my power. And now 1
am doubly blessed. You, Frank, still
love me, and God has tortured me seven
times seventy, and purified and refined
me for a noble husband!" And. with
hands clasped, LIES shadows fitted away
to rest on some other not so fortunate.
"Your life has been perfect sacrifice
to him.
II never loved him, but did what I
thought my duty"
And Heaven will bless you, Mabel,
for it, said her aunt, with tears coming
rapidly down her cheeks.
After my fathers death, found out
my husband, had acted with deception,
but it was 500 late, auntie, for our mar
riage had been celebrated"
ITO save my husbands brother from
dishonor You have spent the best years
of your lie in sorrow."
"While her latter years will be my
Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1880-10-29

New goods at the post Office.
The first oyster supper of the season
came of last Wednesday at the town hall, un-
der the auspices of the NJ. E. church.
The advent of the railroad has filled our
excellent hotel to overlooking.
Mr. Frank Churchill, while chopping one
day last week, fell and struck his hand on
the blade of the axe, cutting a sorry looking
CASH
A collision between two teams furnished
the excitement for last Saturday evening. No
serious damage.
1t must be a oallous-hearted wretch that
predicts 800 snow storms this winter, and the
entire Democratic party out in the cold.
Letters received hero from Mr.. j. NJ.
Wright, vino went from this place to Fair
mont, Nebraska, a few months since, indicate
that he has found pleasant situation and is
entirely satisfied with his new home all of
which is very gratifying to his many friends
hereabouts
Mr.. and Mrs. w. j. Cudworth, recently
married, were the recipients one evening last
week of "A surprise party composed Of large
number of ladies aud gentlemen, who not on
ly left their best wishes with the happy coup
lie, but something more substantial in the way
of valuable presents.
Tho Yankee nation are noted the world
over as being proyident and progressive. An
apt illustration occurs just now in chairman
Barnum's project of railroad up Salt river.
Indeed, it cannot properly be called a pro-
iect, but an assured fact, as the train which
left Indianapolis Oct. ~, VIM. H. English
conductor, Dick Landers engineer, passed
over the entire line in safety and is now in
that ancient haven of seolusion prepared for
all defeated politicians, In former times the
passage was made in boats the victim seiz-
ing upon any old scow or dug-out that would
afford passage. This, of course was slow
and tortuous, but, presto, change! Barnum' S
road is standard gauge, 'steel rails and well
seasoned ties" The next train will leave Gov
ernor's Island next Tuesday evening, drawn
by the locomotive "Solid South, with the
superb" as conductor. An immense bag
| gage train will follow, drawn by State
rights" and carrying rebel claims, local
tariff issues, Hancoek's bail bonds for the
Democratic party congratulatory letters tc
| Greenbacker Paisted, and the bones of Mrs.
Surratt. ReQuiescat in pace.