Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1880-01-01
VARIETIES.

n Ab n AVAAgAA Jaw hVHa AAVb AgGVkuAN9
promises to marry.
-"I like your impudencep' as
pretty girl said when her beau kissed
her.
Whenever the Indians and soldiers
have brush the soldiers are very apt
to furnish the hair.
Rich Cinnamon 60 to Tartary for
their wives, their wealth enabling them
to secure the very cream of Tartary.
The hard fighting in India contin-
ues, but the fighting isn't half so hard
as the names they are fighting about
HG5Ob-Bye.
Before marriage girl frequently
calls her intended "her treasure" but
when he becomes her husband, she
looks upon him as her &" treasurer -
1t was a delicate piece of sarcasm
in the bOarder who sent his landlord a
razor, neatly enclosed in a handsome
silk-lined case, labelled "Butter knife"
-Haa0k-Bye.
"A young man was taken out and
hanged here yesterday for playing a
fiddle under his inamorata's window
LeGdgille Herald. Chang up the fiddle
and the beaur'
-" How do youlike my boots, love?"
exclaimed a youthful bride. 40, they're
immense" replied the partner of her
joy; and she had the first matrimonial
fainting away at the result.
If you want to be in fashion begin
your letters abruptly, write with blue
ink, and sign only your last name. The
shorter your letters are when writing
for loan the more time you will save.
Free Press.
"A Garrard County (Ky.) farmer,
not knowing what might be the result
of the predicted meteOric shower, en-
plOyed lot of hands and had an inn
mense amount of water in readiness in
case his house should catch fire.
Ask the average husband 10 run
down cellar for pan of potatoes for
breakfast and his enthusiasm over the
growth of the prosperity of America de-
creases one-half before he reaches the
middle step--DetrOit Free Press.
=" Do editors ever get angry?" asks
a lady correspondent. No, never. But
if you happen in about the time when
one puts the paste on the wrong side
of the clipping you will discover that
they become agitated sometimes.
Did you ever notice the fact-of
course you haVe-that a tramp who
claims he has a trade, but can get no
work at it, in the winter is a brick
maker and in the summer lumber
man or ice sawyerP-LOckport Union.
When a young man has his Office |
with his girls home by tele-
phone, it is a mean rival who will cast
suspicion on the lady by stealing into
the young mans office and putting
onion juice on the instrument Boston
Post.
An Irishman was accused of steal
ng a handkerchief of fellow traveller,
out the owner, on finding it, apologized
TO Pat and said that it was mistake.
. Arrah, my Jewell" retorted Pat, it
was two sided mistake-you took me
.or thief and I took you for gentle
man."
National debts were of little import
ance until the French revolution. They
low amount to about 1928, 600, 100000,
Mostly owed by European States for
var incurred by dynasties, and in
which common people had no voice.
These debts and standing armies are
low the cause of poverty.
=" Peter, what are you doing to that
ooyP" asked a schoolmaster. "He
wanted to know if you take ten from
eventeen how many will remain. l
ook ten of his apples to show him, land
low he wants me to give 'em back"
; Wel, why don't you do it?" "Cos,
ir, he would forget how many are
"A Hartford mans excuse for steal
ng pair of chickens was that while
It work he hung his coat near the coop
md on going for it he found the chick
ms roosting on the same. He hadn't
he heart to wake them up he said, so
e wound his coat around them with
ut waking them and carried them off.
lis defense was ingenious, but he was
ent up for three months all the same.
"A boy caught in the act of stealing
aisins in shop, was locked up in
ark closet by the grocer. The boy
ommenced begging most pathetically I
0 be released, and after using all the
that his young imagination :
ould invent, proposed: Sir, if you'll !
et me out and send for my daddy, he'll I
ay you for the raisins and lick me be- ,
ideF' This appeal was too much for
he grocer. s
%, that Monday could be post 7
oned to the middle of the week. Every I
hing goes wrong side up Monday i
People get out of bed in a {
uff, eat breakfast because they are +
bliged to and come down town in fit 8
the sulks. The fact is, Sunday just !
ives rest enough to make man feel I
le need of more and Monday finds !
inn mad because he can't get tn s
,. World. f
"A schoolboy got up to read COM I
osition on 1.-The Tree" He got as far g
) "This subject has many branches" t
hen the teacher said "Stop! you have t
OF made your bough yet. elf you r
lterrupt me again, " said the boy "PIl il
.ave.' "You give me any more of p
our impudence and I'll take the sap il
- - -,o,, - sn;d fLo faoobar al I