Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-02-19
RAILROAD RELIGION.
A Brakeman's Comparison Of Diff
ferent Denominations.

HaWkeye, dated at Lebanon
Ind, Burdette says:
While on the road with Leb
anon fading away in the dis
tance, the brakeman comes tC
me, and seated on the arm of
the seat, says:
"I went to church yesterday
"Yesw / said with that inter
ested infection that asks fol
more, "And what church did
you attend?"
(Which do you guess?" he
asked.
"Some union mission church,"
/ hazarded.
snow, 'he said, '1 don't like to
run on these branch roads very
much. I don't often go TO
church, and when l do, / want
to run on the main line, where
your run is regular and you go
on schedule time, and don't have
to wait on connections. / don't
like to run on a branch Good
enough, but l don't like it."
"Episcopal?'' I guessed.
''Limited express" he said;
call palace cars and So extra for
a seat; fast time and only stop
at big stations; nice line, but
too exhaustive for a brakeman.
All train men in uniform, con-
ductor's punch and lantern sill
ver-plated, and no train boys al
lowed. Then the passengers
are allowed to talk back at the
conductor, and it makes them
too free and easy. No, / could
not stand the palace cars. Rich
road enough. Don't often hear
of a receiver being appointed
for that line. Some mighty nice
people travel on it, too"
"Universalist?" / suggested.
"Broad gauge, "said the brake
man, "docs too much compli-
mentary business. Everybody
travels on a pass. Conductor
doesn't get fare once in fifty
miles. Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but
a union depot. No smoking
cars on the train. Train orders
are vague, though, and the train
men don't get along well with
the passengers. No, / don't go
to the Universalist, though /
know some awfully good men
who run on that road"
"Presbyterian," l asked.
"Narrow gauge, eh?" said the
brakeman; "pretty track, and
straight as rule; tunnelthrough
a mountain rather than go round
it; spirit-level grade; passen-
gers have to show their tickets
before they get on the train.
Mighty strict road but the cars
are little narrow; have to sit
one seat and no room in the
aisle to dance. Then there's no
stop-over tickets allowed; got
to go straight through to the
station you're ticketed for, or
you can't get on at all. When
the cars full, no extra coaches;
cars built at the shops to hold
just so many and nobody else
allowed on. But you don't
hear of accidents on the road.
It's run right up to the rules"
"Maybe you Joined the Free
Thinkers?" / said.
SCRUB road," said the brake
man; "dirt road bed and no bal
last; no time-card and no train
dispatcher. All trains run wild
and every engineer makes his
own time just as he pleases.
Smoke if you want TO; kind of !
go-as-you-please road. Too
many side tracks, and every
swicth wide open all the time,
with the swltchman sound asleep
and the target lamp dead out.
Get on as you please and get
off when you want to. Don't
have to show your tickets, and
the conductor is expected to do
nothing but amuse the passen-
gers. No, sir, was offered a
pass, but / don't like the line.
don't like to travel on a road
that has no terminus. Do you
know, sir, l asked a division SUI
perintendent where that road
run TO, and he said he hoped he
would die if he knew. / asked
him if the general superinten-
dent could tell me, and he said
he didn't believe they had a
general superintendent, and if |
they had he couldn't tell any
more about the road than the
/ asked him who
he reported to, and he said, No
body I asked a conductor
who he got orders from, and he |
sa;d bo didn't take orders from