Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-21
HaWk-Eyetems.

The Nihilists now believe that nothing
can f.ow up the car. All, his wiie's
maria is dead, then?
Life at the winter palace is said to be
veiy dull now. The car hasn't been
shot at since last Friday.
We can't have any national political
convention in Boston, but We have got
the Methodist conference. -1ranscript
1t is said to be statistical fact that
married men live longer than siugle
men. Fore George, but they have to.
They have FIVE or six times as much to
live for.
As you travel around the country you
are more and more impressed with the
conviction that the chief end OF man is
to paint patent medicine signs on the
fences.
They are actually building a railway
Hp to the summit OF Mount Vesuvius.
1t must be pleasant to ride on o road
that 10 to build lava sheds along every
section.
George" shouted q traveller, star
ing at the =" Rock Island route " calen-
dar.card hanging up in the depot, " if
they haven't got to playing the blamed
puzzle on the walls"
W. II. II. Murray has gone to Eng
land. He did it from pure meSnness,
the patriotic American that he is, just
to throw his middle initials into the
faces of the islanders.
The Buffalo Express advises Tenny-
son to cease writing poetry" Well,
didn't he-are you certain that he
that is, judging by his recent efforts,
We should say he has quit.
Washington was q very busy man.
He scarcely knew what an idle moment
was. When you read Irvings Life, !"
You begin to understand why George
the great never told q lie. He never
had time.
A wise man writes to the papers that
the only true way to health is to eat
moderately, drink temporarily, sleep
regularly and avoid excess in every
thing" Well, that is good way, too.
Another good way is to keep well.
1t is disheartening for q man who
has preached the gospel for twenty
three years, and has spent his life try
ing to make men better aud happier,
for 500 year, to read that Levy will
get $500 O week next summer for rlew-
ing cornet at Manhattan beach.
When man seventy eight years old
commits suicide, as recently happened
in Hudson, Ohio, it is simply an ex-
hibition of inexcusable impatience.
When most of us get to be so old as
that, we can wait for the terminus
without wanting to discount it any.
The queen of England doesn't take
any stock in the spelling reform. She
still sticks to favor with Gu" spells
wagon with two g's, and public with
AK" Good for you, Victoria. Stick
to the old methods. If you get good
chance, resurrect the old spelling Of
Engle land.
The New York Herald has raised
over three hundred thousand dollars
for the Irish relief fund, and a woman
in that city couldn't go to church last
Sunday because her bonnet was six
weeks old. We little dream, while
assisting others, of the suffering at
our own doors !-NoriStowM Herald.
There is no particular rule about
the new method of spelling. 1t is very
convenient for people who can't spell
according to any method. You simply
omit all the letters you are not sure
about, and when you don't know
whether the or comes first, only use
one of them and there you are, safe.
A scientific journal discusses the
question, How fast does the wind
blow 2" Well, it depends great deal.
When Ignatius Donnelly is making q
speech, we should judge the hurricane
skips along about l 900 miles minute.
But, at the same time, it is too light to
have any force, and it never hurts any
body.
The cardinal virtues: Old parson
(who had once been curate in the par
ish)--" How do you manage to get on
in these bad times, Mr.. Johnson?"
Farmer" Well, sir, about as bad as
can be. Last year we lived onlfaith; this
year we're a ivin' in hope, and next
year I'm afraid we shall have to depend
on charity"
The other day several people stood
before q show window looking at a
classical medallion. What's that =? in.
quired smart boy, who had elbowed
his way to the front. "That," re-
piled a good citizen, els Achilles,
wounded in the heel" "Oh, yes"
said the boy, sentsntiously, and gazing
at the picture with new interest, stone
bruises"
You could very easily tell that times
we're better, if you had no other means
of ascertsining, by the news of the
labor strikes all over the country.
When times are hard. the poor work
ingmen labor patiently on half wages.
When times are good, they strike and
don't work at all. 1t beats the fifteen
puzzle to know whether they are better
off in the hard or the good times.
What cut him to the heart, far more
keenly than her coldness at the sociable,
was to have her say in her note, re-
spending to his demand for" his letters
and photograph" that " Ma had traded
off his letters for milk-pans, the last
time the peddler came round. and the
children had nailed up his photograph
- IL. 4