Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-11-18
IN 4 NUT SHE'LL.

Canatboats are generally tOw-headed
Miss Sis Sippi is the daughter of wa
tiers.
Beats awl-The patent shoe-stitching
machine.
Patrons of the ring-Expectant bride
Stocks in the market are careening
like kites.
Walt Whitman, the poet, is "the pink
Of neatness."
The best laundried clothes are those
which are lawn-dried.
Ute Indians buy carriers to wear
round their necks.
Mr.. Ruskin has expressed a disgust
for Liberalism
Paris has twenty-four theatres and
100 cafe concerts.
Ugly little pug dogs are the style of
pup to have in the east.
Boston brides at hotel tables are said
to chatter in bad French.
King Alfonso, of Spain, it is said,
loves to read English history.
"Chastly jolly" is the very latest fash
ionable slang in England.
Paper stoves are the latest develop
ment of German ingenuity.
In speaking to the Prince of Wales
the mobiles of England say "Sir."
Jenny Lind is 60 years old. Thirty
years ago she visited this country.
Experience is the name men
give to their follies or their sorrows.
Darling, this potato is only half
done" Then eat the done half, love"
The census of the next German EN-
pire will be taken on the LIST of Deem
ber
There are now over forty mills in this
country manufacturing oil from cotton
seed
Miss Genevieve Ward, the actress,
speaks very many languages, including
Russian.
Now is the time for buying new
hat. People will think that you have
won a bet.
Ex-Governor Seymour, who has for
several days been quite i'll, is some
what better.
Edward Dowden says that the feel
ings are quite as capable of education
as the intellect.
A beggar set up business the other
day with a small sign reading, "Help
wanted"
Nothing can constitute good breed
ing that has not good nature for its
foundation.
Unto myself be true, and itshall fol-
low as the night the day; thou canst
not be false to any man.
Rev. DR.. Lanahan, of the Foundry
Methodist church, of Washington, has
denounced the Bernhardt.
The Hotel Mail says that the tiend of
the period is the paper-stealer in hotel
reading rooms.
Dean Close, who is now So years old,
is about to marry the widow of the late
David Hodgson, ofLiverpool.
Although all are equal in the United
States, there is a lake in the northwest
that Is treated as Superior.
He who has ridden in q country stage
coach knows how cream feels when it
is being churned into butter.
Two owners of cottages at Newport
are reported to have wagered $4,000
on the presidential election.
An old beau was caught by his sweet
heart coloring his hair, and it threw
him into dyer confusion.
The end man of minstrel troupe is
the only genuine living skeleton-he
has no flesh on his bones at all.
A naughty Philadelphia paper says
the late marriage of an Illinois girl to
negro was 4 case Of color blindness.
A railroad engineer who runs a loco
motive that throws a good many sparks
has christened her Cinder Ella.
At the recent Pennsylvania state fair
waterproof butter covers attracted con-
siderable attention from dairymen.
Falsehood like poison, will generally
be rejected if administered alone; but
when blended with wholesome in
gradients may be swallowed upper
ceived
The wool eli of the world has in
creased five times since 1880, when it
was about $50, 600, 900 pounds III weight.
The habit of being always employed
is a great safeguard through life, as
essential to the culture of every virtue.
Good qualities are the substantial
riches of the mind but it is good
breeding that sets them off to advan-
tage.
Illinois law holds that crime wit
messed through q key-hole is no evil
dence 1t is thought to be thrust lev
eled at mothers-in-law.
No matter how poor people are, near
iy every one can afford to keep pair
of hOrses-One for clothes and the other
for wood.
In the last fiscal year the United
States mail service was extended 81,
III miles, and the cost was increased
s., 283, 397.
Connecticut Yankees are making oil
barrels out of paper, and the same ma
erial will be used for tobacco and sugar
oarrels.
| The shipments of iron ore from Lake
Superior ports, to September 20, were
l ,48S,O07 tons, an increase OF 54O,lI
tons over last year.
Sara Bernhardt was so seasick com
ing over that she was like the maiden
in the song" Ready to die; yes, will
ing and anxious to die"
Henri Rochefort, in IL speech at Mar
settles, France, recently, said that Gar
ibaldi was very i'll, and that the worst
was to be apprehended.