The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-08-20
Exchanging busters.

me $500, 900 always wear linen duster
when travel; feel as though I could
afford it and society rather demands it OF
me) and climbed into the train and
waited for it to start. By and by I
reached into the capacious pockets of
that duster, and in an idle, vagrant
kind of moment, drew forth a Police
Gazette, radiant with the usual aston
ishing display of all kinds of stockings,
in all manner of attitudes, save proper
ones, with female figures attached to
them. Now never buy and never read
that journal, and was amazed to find it
in my pocket. went down again and
brought up a couple of beer tickets.
Then / raked down again and found q
piece of billiard chalk, several grains of
coffee and a bit of lemon peel. It seemed
to me that my ordinary well behaved and
exemplary duster had evidently been out
with the boys last night, instead of re-
posing in the quiet of my coat room.
Curious to know just how far this in
iquity went, I reached into another
T ccket and found q corkskrew, three
c:ce, reveling in the luxurious afiuence
o. three aces apiece and poker deck,
containing four kings of spades. I was
ashamed of that duater. Not only had
it been out with the boys, but it had
fallen among thieves. and was itself the
meanest thief of the lot, and unworthy to
be called one of the boys. was almost
afraid to examine the last pocket, but I
finally sent down the grapple and up it
came with whisky flask, very empty
but very odorous.
began to wish the train would start
so that might watch my opportunity
and throw that duster, with all its mani
fold iniqu quities on it's wicked head, into
the river. I stealthily felt under the
bottle and found pair of brass knucks.
That settled it. My duster was irrevok-
ably bad. I would wear it as far as the
first river or the first tunnel, and I would
never wear it farther. Would the train
never start?
Just then gentle hand touched my
shoulder. I started guiltily and looked
up to see policeman. If I had been
arrested on any charge, theft, burglary.
murder, sheep stealing, treason, any
thing, I should have given right in and
gone along. hadn't enough conf
dence in myself to deny anything. But
when looked up and saw a kind, tender
face. and heard the tender voice of o
Methodist clergyman.
II beg your pardon" he said, "but I
fear you and have exchanged busters.
I only noticed the change this moment,
when Iefound some letters and lecture
tickets bearing your name in the pockets.
The mistake was my own, have no
doubt. / am SO very careless, and our
busters are SO nearly alike
I was so shocked that didn't know
what to say nor where to look, but I just
had enough sense to say yes, that it was
nv duster he held in his hands. That I
couldn't find my own in the coat room
and took the only one that was left. And
then I gave the good, innocent man the
villainous old sin-dyed Philestine that
had been corrupting my morals all morn
ing.
And then, to sit there and never look
around. but Just listen to that mans ac-
clamations of amazement and horror.
First he found the billiard chalk. He
didn't know what that was, so he only
said 'sH'm!" When he found the coffee
grains-but he didn't exactly understand
them. and he just said "Har" Then he
fished out the corkscrew and he seemed
to understand that in q general way for
he said ''Whatp in staccato of aston
ishment that elected an encore from the
entire audience. The poor mans ''Mer-
ciful heavensp' that greeted the appear
ance Of the whisky flask was drowned in
a perfect torrent of applause and wild
cries of $50 on, go on!" and More"
And then when he pulled out the Police
Gazette and the brass knucks, he fell
back into his seat with an audible gasp of
horror, and the whole car full of people
Just rose as one man and yelled and
howled, and trampled on their hats and
wanted to get out and tear the bottom
out of the car and throw it into the Sha-
mango river to express their feelings.
never saw so great enthusiasm over such
a little thing. And the fainting clergy
man came to me, holding the disreputa-
BILE, character destroying old gallows
bird of duster in his trembling hands.
ssSir,r he said, with patient rebuke and
pitiful appeal mingling in his tremulous
utterance, Sir
But steeled my heart against him,
because I was as innocent as himself,
and it was the pulpit and the rostrum for
it.
$50 way" stdon't bring it around
here! Don't you point that thing at me!
'Taint mine! You claimed it yourself!
Don't dare to charge me with i'll Throw
it under the car! Burn it up! I won't
have It'll Don't you dare
Dub bne clergy uAu Aolu ~ toWaIu mo
and raised his right hand appealingly to
Heaven. Just before the tableau began
to tell with the jury, however, the porter
came painting down to the train. He had
an innocent looking duster in his hands
with package Of papers bullying in one
pocket. and Moody hymn book fatten
ing in the other.
SGent'men," he said, .de barkeeper
sent me down and he says as how some
body has dom run away wild his duster,
and he want it sent back or he make it
powfu1 lively for de man what took it eff
he have to come after it hisself.
That settled it. The clergyman took
his own ulster and gave up the robe of
unrighteousness to the mbassador. The
man on the wood box made generally
consolatory remark about the false and
fatal strength of circumstantlal evidence.
The band played "Renny, Come Back to
the Farm" and the train pulled OUT
HaUkeye.
Protection Against Flies aud Mosquitoes 4