Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-04-29
LIN0oLN's STORIES.

lease the 1st of April. 7. Mail
LIN0oLN's STORIES.
Pleasant Pen Pictures OF the Great wa, Pre-,
fdens-New Anecdotes Never Told Before
How Mr.. Lincoln Got Rid Of Consumma AT
Bore.
DIR. Lincoln was undoubtedly th,
champion joker of the United States
When care set heaviest on his hear
and the prospect of favorable solu
ton of the war seemed most doubt
ful, he would turn away from th,
troubles and tighten the gloom of tht
hour by one of those jokes which
soon became national In their reputa
ton. 1t was this faculty of casting
away care that enabled the preslden
to endure the wear and tear of {
great war, that would have killed
most men.
Many people will, no doubt, al
ways believe that many of the Jokes
attributed to Mr.. Lincoln were man
ufactured outside of the White House
and laid to the great presidents &C
count, and while this was partly
true, Mr.. Lincoln did tell thousands
of anecdotes, and if some credited to
him were told by others, there were
scores of Lincoln's Jokes that have
never been repeated or published.
| remember one day going to the
White House with Senator Ben
Wade, when Mr.. Lincoln assailed us
with perfect avalanche of Jokes
Mr.. Wade was in a hurry, having to
be at the senate by IL o'clock, and il
was then after IL. "Sit down, Mr..
Wade; sit down, General" cried the
jolly president; Pm going to tell you
story"
"Mr. President, l should be most
happy to listen to your story" said
Mr.. Wade, "but | have some bust.
ness with you this morning, and then
| shall go to the senate, as it is al
most time for it to assemble"
swell, well, | guess you will be in
time, but want to talk to you, and
if the senate meets without you, why
let it meet, that's ALL" Then turning
abruptly to me the president in.
quired:
"How are the people out in Ken.
tucky?, / was then In command OF
the Blue Grass region of Kentucky
where Mr.. Lincoln had many friends
"They are pretty WE'LL" / replied.
care they loyal now p asked I'm,
Gle Abe, with a SMILE"
Sometimes they are and some
times they are not" l replied.
"When they think the Union is 60.
ing they get loyal until Lee gains a
battle on the Potomac, and then
when it looks better for the confed-
eracy they become disloyal again"
"That reminds me of the high and
the low-combed cock" and as it is q
capital story must tell it to YOU
"Now, Mr.. Lincoln" said Wade
81 must be going, as it is nearly ID
and have barely time to reach the
senate before it assemblies. have q
little business with you, and"
"Sit dowa, sit down, man." cried
Lincoln "the senate can assemble,
say, without you being there, and
must tell you this story besides, ]
won't be FIVE minutes, and you car
surely give that much of your time. >
Uncle Abe then related the following
story, which | will repeat as nearly
as / can recollect in his own words
'"When was a youngster out in
Kentucky there was chap who had
a high.combed cock that could lick
all the ROSTERS in the country. One
day an emigrant came in to settle
who said he had a low combed cock
ne reckoned could thrash anything
in them parts, the high.oombed cock
included. rhe interest became in.
tense. and the chickens were exam.
ined by all the boys. Both looked
we'll and seemed to be genuine game
cocks. A meeting was arranged tc
come off between the cocks, and the
whole neighborhood was excite over
it. Squire C was noted man
and very sharp. The Squire was
always right, but no one could ever
find out what his beliefs were, his
reserved beliefs being the correct
ones. The Squire was consulted
about the ROSTERS, as he was about
everything else, and putting his spec
tacle on his nose, he examined bott
ROSTERS carefully. He said the high
combed cock had bis 'pints' abou
him, which indicated he would win
but the low-combed cock was mucf
the heaviest rooster of the two, anC
by sheer weight might beat his an
tagenist. The young fellows whc
wanted to bet, questioned the 'Squir,
closely. but they could not get AM
nearer to his opinion of the real mer
its of the chickens. The day cam,
for the battle, ard with it a grea
crowd. The Squire presided, for il
those days more than now racing
lighting and betting was the heigh
of Kentuekian's glory. Close at
tention was given to the Squire
position on the fight, as be was boil
oracle and judge.
81 propose" said the Squire, "thi
yere shell be fare fte, and therefor,
we will give three cheers for boil
ROSTERS" Ii was done with will
and then the fight began. At ever,
turn in the battle the 'Sqalre would
cry ont, 'Hurrah for the bIgh.coEbet
cock = sHurrsh for the combet
cockr Once be made bet on th,
high-combed cock, but immediately
hedged by betting on the low combet
cock. AT last, after a bloody con
test, the low combed cock got tbs
worst of it, turned tail aud ran. sHur
rah hurrah hurrah for the high
combed cock Gentlemen, / knew
that rooster would win in the end
but it is always unfair to express ar
opinion in a contest like this in ad