Morning journal and courier., 1880-08-07

Kisses sweeten farewell. They arc tho cream of ta-ta, as 1t were.
 Even during vacation boys do not forget their schools They buy birch beer. Schoolmaster-''Wha makes the Tower oi Pisa lean ?'' Little boy-'Want of food" A little boy tanned an alligator, and the ugly reptile began to like the little fellow, not, however, until the little fellow was all gone.
 A little 6-year old boy astonished his moth CT by exclaiming, II wish l was an angel. , Wondering what holy thoughts were filling his young mind she waited for a reason. ''Then I could see all the circuses at once." "Yes; am to be married, my dear friend The young lady is pretty and very clever, yet she cannot play the pianoforte, that is her l only failing.' "Why, I should call that a blessing. It is certainly no fault" ''Hear l me through. She cannot play the pianoforte and yet she always insists on playing" Unto an Oxford professor, married late in life, child was born That child has now advanced to the mature age of three years. "A charming little fellow" say all the profes- sors friends ''Yes, yes" replied the learned man, deiectedly. "But fail to see in him the least leaning toward the exact sciences" " noted writer says: 'I never was good
 carver, which is one good reason why l do
 not have turkey on my table every day in stead of only once year. Hash IS much
 easier to help so I make 1t the standing dish
 9n my household. Those who think we take
 it for cheapness make mistake. The con
 venience of the thing is it's recommenda-
 tion"
 LIME KILN PHILOSOPHY mite or two
 ago." began the old man, as the meeting
 opened in due form, "a sartin member of dis
 club cum softly inter my house an axed meifI
 had any objecshuns to his enterin' into walk
 in match. Yesterday annudder member hint
 ed aroun' about organizin' a cullid base ball
 club to sweep de kentry. To-day third mem
 Der seriously proposed de ideah of fastin' fur
 fo'ty days de Tanner principle. Fur two
 long hours dis fo'noon sot on de back stoop
 an pondered ober desc fngs, an bimeby
 got what believe am de k'reck ideah At sar-
 tin sezuns of de var de atmosphere am preg-
 mated wid some sort O vapor dat creates a
 desiah on de part of about six men out of
 ten to make fools of themselves. Dis vapor
 am now prevailin' aroun' dis nayburhood at
 hullsale rates an if it affects de white folks, why shouldn't it have mo or less influence on de culrd people? In order to diskiver what effect it has on dis club, l now invite all you
 who am in favor of base ball. fastin' an walkin matches to rig up." Not a foot moved. The hall was as quiet as a COW in a garden after cabbages. s'Waal, den, all who am posed will please stretch up,' continued the president. Every person ln the hall got hls feet under hlm as soon as possible and stood erect for full minute. ''Werry well, gemlen-you kin sot down." remarked the old man as smile crept into the corner of each eye. 1T guess i am all right about de yapor, but I guess de vapor sorter slides way from de culPd race. Now let me say to one an all as follers: Two weeks wid 8 spellin' book will do any of us mo- good dan two y'ars wid base ball club. If you want to walk, go out an look for work. As to the queshun of fastin, dar's full dozen of you in heah who'll git all you want of it afore nex' spring onless you make your brushes fly faster dan you have fur a month past. De man who builds up his frame on an empty stomach will drap out O sight all of sudden. It s pleasant to be hero, but de man who airns his dollar day pays his debts, speaks the truf, brings up his chilren in de right way and wins de respect of his nayburs am sailing his sand-scow bout as nigh de true light as he kin go. We will now attack de usual order of bizness. n-@Betroit Free Press.