The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-01-01
MULTUM IN PARyO.

y MULTUM IN PARv0.
LEGAL blsnks-Poor lawyers.
RuMoR beats electricity forty per
cent"
The narrower the woman the wider
the belt.
WHEN the moon gets full it keeps
late hours.
WHEN grapes are squeezed it makes
them whine.
A NEVADA ball report says: "Miss
- was full of eclat-the eclat-est lady
present"
The Chicago Tribune has discovered
that petrlfied body indicates that the
man is stone dead.
The report is without foundation that
the Limburger cheese factories in this
country are not making q (s)cent.-
Steubenville Chronicle.
GIVE a girl long eyelashes and small
hands, and she will put up with No. 6
feet and marry all around curly
headed girl wearing ones and half.
The candle says: "rll be bowed if l
20 out. '-MssO Orleans Rcayume. And
the fire on the hearth says: "rll 90 out
if I'm not bowed. boston advertiser.
WHEN boy gets to be ashamed Of
his father there is cause for shame
somewhere, though it does not by any
means follow that that cause is on the
fathers side.-Boston Transcript.
ALADY on horseback bears about the
same relation to the horse as does her
hat to her head. Stuck on to one side
respectively of the horse and the head,
both threaten to fall off on the slightest
provocation,
The hickory tree at Madison, N. j.,
which as a sapling was transplanted on
the Inauguration Of James Madison as
President of the United States for the
second time, in 1881, is now : hand
some and thrifty tree over one hundred
feet high.
The doctors say that sealskin is I'M
healthy. Bless them! Now if they can
be induced to say the same of six-but-
ton kids, point lace and few such tri-
fles, coming generations of married men
will rise up and call them blessed
Boston Transcript.
A RICH Scotchman at the point of
death said to his pastor: "Do you
think that if left ten thousand pounds
to the Presbyterian Church my soul
w'd be saved?'' Il can't promise you
anything" answered the good man,
after second thought, "but it's worth
trying"
THE waiter brings dish of mush-
rooms to two diners in whom the senti-
ment of State pride is well developed.
"Call those mushrooms?' says one,
contemptuously. "You ought to see
the mushrooms that grow where come
from-the great big fellows as big as
dinner-plates, that grow at the feet
of the trees" ''In my part of the
country" says his companion, proudly,
"thc trees grow at the feet of the mush-
room""
AN Irish clergyman's daughter, aged
twelve, said to her father that a certain
consequential person was "a haste. !"
Sharp parental reproof being promptly
administered. miss retorted that papa
had used that very expression himself
in last Sundays service. Certainly
not,'' said the reverend papa, with
much emphasis. "Oh, but you did, "
persisted miss. II heard you say that
he that exalteth himself shall be q
baste.'"
The Medical Press says it is the worry
about ways and means that kills; doc
tors themselves are worried to death by
pecuniary troubles. This is an opinion
worth more than many prescriptions
for which large price is paid. 1t is
an easy thing to give advice which is
hard to take, but we commend this med
ical counsel as good to begin the year
with and to use all the year through:
"Don't worry; take things quietly; the
darkest night has morning; and worry
wears out the heart and life." No
charge for that, but it is sound advice.
A TRANSACTION occurred in the
makeup of two telegrapic paragraphs
in the New Haven Journal and Courier,
recently. which produced the following
effect: The first paragraph read, "A
large cast-iron wheel, revolving nine
hundred times per minute, exploded in
that city yesterday after q long and
painful illness. Deceased was a promi-
nent thirty-second degree Mason. :"
This was followed by the second para
graph, which read, "John Fadden, the
well-known florist and real-estate
broker of Newport, r. L., died in
Wardner & Russell's sugar mill, at
Crystal Lake, ILL.,, on Saturday, doing
$4,000 damage to the building, and in
juring several workmen and Lorenzo
Wilcox fatally
The editor of the Warren Or. ~
Gazette, who lately retired from the
ranks of journalism. says in his vale
dictory address: "Our reasons for quit
ting the business may seem odd to some
people, but to us they are sufficient.
We can earn our living with less irrita-
ton and discomfort. If we want dol.
lar why should we stretch a hawser
around the whole State of Rhode Island
to get it? Why not earn it quietly, in
our own time and in our own way?
Alone in the world, and feeling ourself
to be one who, like Goldsmith's Her
init, wants but little here below, nor
wants that little long, we can see no
good reason for torturing ourself by
counting unnecessary annoyances. For
the last three years our position has
been such as would be exemplified by
that of a crow, which, though requiring
for its sustenance only few kernels of
grain, and for its rest but perch in a
juniper, should be foolish enough to
rent an entire corn-field and twenty
acres of woodland, with all its conse-
quent cares. Surely the mind is worth
something. We have felt out of har-
mony with our situation, and gladly re-
turn to the ownership of ourseh,"
FOREIGN GOSSIP.
If the municipal authorities had the
power, says Paris letter, they would
pull down every monument built by
Napoleon.