The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-05-13

altogether gloomy. We all sleep in one
room, but there are three meals day,
and unlimited credit at the bar. A man
witch cant live on that is sly barite witch
hez no place In a virchus republic
l concluded Kentucky yesterday, and
start for home to-moTTer. ] he'd two
hours with Mr.. Tilden, the good Tilden,
and we fixed the hull matter.
ct don't want to be President" sed
the gilelis old man, "but the good Nv
our common kentry demands it. A
nan wich won't, make sacrifices for his
k entry shood be compelled to live under
a corrupt aristoeracy. How is Kunnel
Plunger, NV Covington ?"
"The Kunnel is for Thurman, sed [.
"Tell the Kunnel that eff that dees-
offs at Coyington, and that mortgage on
to his house will be attended to. No
patriot wich wants to be President will
pay him more than [ will, wich is
drawn out Nv retiracy reluctantly, and
solely for the good Nv common ken
try"
replide that [ thot that would fix
the Kunnel. Referring to memoran-
dum-book, marked Kentucky, he went
on:
General Podger, NV Lexinton, hez
bin sayin suthin for Bayard. It won't
do. Eff my suferin kentry elex me to
the Presidency, wich [ consent to solely
on its account, and against my will, he
shell hev the postofis there, and SIGH
money ez he expends in kerryin the des-
trik furdisnt him, and his bills shell not
be looked into very closely. In saving
ones kentry a patriot must be ibral.
Wat Is paltry dross compared with the
good of ones kentry And Maj. Nc
Grath ?"
[ replied that the Major was not alto
gether satisfied with givin the sage Nv
Moo York the nomination, but that [
wuz satisfied he wuz waitin to be seen.
"See him. Find out eggsackly how
much he wants, and promise him any
thing In the way NV offises that he re-
quires. In the great work Nv savin'
ones common kentry, promises can't be
too frequently made. Offer him the
postoffis there"
"Honored and patriotic sir" I re-
piled, that offs hez bin already prom
ised to three men"
Hev they sense enuff to keep their
mouths shut till after the convenshun ?"
I feer not, patriotic and honored
sir"
"Then offer him furrin mishun, and
a small amount Nv money in hand.
Thank the Lord sed he, fervently,
for furrin mishuns Yoo don't hev to
spesify, and there are a great many Nv
EN-. 700 can't hev two postotfises III
one place; but there are a great many
furrin mishuns, and great many more
kin be made, eff need be, to save our
common kentry. I hev alluz believed
that our common kentry wUz not prop
erly representa- abroad, and that Their
ought to be at leest one Consul for every
Congressional deestrik, and twict ez
many full mishuns. hate to double up,
but what kin do? Their amt nothin [
won't sacrifice to our common kentry.
For its sake am being drawd out Nv
retirement for its sake [ am willin to
serve ez its President for its sake am
willin to open just ez many bar'ls ez my
unbought friends desire and shell I hes
itate for its sake to promise the same offs
to five men? Never! No troo patriot
wood balk at so small thing ez that.
Let EN- come. They shell hev all they
want. Kin Kunnel Simmons be depend
ed onto 2"
"Honored and patriotic sir, Kunnel
Simmons adores you in his heart, I am
certain, But the Kunnel is labrin I'M
der fnanshel troubles, and he hez hest
tated, to see wich candidate wood
Civ"
81 understand the Kunnel, and I am
his man. Ashoor the Kunnel that the
Collectorship ov his district"
"But, honored and patriotic, sir" I
replied, looking at my memorandum,
"that offs hez bin promist to four men
alreddy."
$50 it hez," replied the patriot so
it hez. Very good. He must hev fur
rim mishn. Tell him to select any one
he likes, and give him my word for it.
Will that anser?'
"Better than anything. The Kunnel
is so heavily in debt that residence
abroad wood SCOT him better than to re-
main at home He Good hev the flag NV
|. our COmu1Ou hGuGIJ WdN1u OF6I 1l1S
offs, witch wood console him for his en-
forced eggsile. He wood prefer the flag
NV his common kentry over his offs in
Guatemala to the Sheriff's flag over
his house in Kentucky. The Sheriff's
flag is q lurid red, and is not variegated
enuff for him"
There wuz some more arrangements
NV like nacher. when [ bid the great
good man good-by, and departed for my
field Nv labor.
"Don't forgit," sed he, as he wrung
my hand at partin, that the Collector
ship at Louisville is your'n."
81 shan't forgit it, but, ez it hez bin
promised to six other patriots, to my
certain knowledge, shan't buy brown
stun house tomorrow on the strength
NV it. Whether I git that or not. I hev
got wat I hev in my pokket, and shell
hev the postoffis at the Corners. bein ez
I am the only Dimocrat in that region
wich kin write. This much I am shoor
Nv. But Mr. Tilden is troo patriot,