The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-11-27

room. Last night you went down at
eight O'Clock to got your boots bjacked
and although your feet are large
enough, heaven knows, don't believe
It took you till 1880 to got your boots
polished, for that was tho time you put
them outside the chamber door and
then fell against It and woke up the
children" Here some callers who had
driven over from Auburndale, came
up the steps, and Sploer slid out under
the tire Of greetings and was shortly
after seen gliding into q billiard hall
saloon the back way.
A COMPANY OF bright young women
occupying \ cottage at tho shore hayo
posted In conspicuous place In their
dlning-roOm q note like the following :
"We DO not wish to entertain angels
unawares, and In order that there may
be no mistake In identity, all visitors
are expected to bring something with
them to contribute to the lardsr." II
nothing ts brought down by visiting
friends there is generally something
comes by express very soon after the
visit. -
Guilty OF Wrong.
Some people have q fashion of con-
fusing excellent romedio, with the
large mass of "patent medicines" and
in this they arc guilty Of wrong.
There are somo advertised remedies
fully worth all that IS asked for them,
and ono at least we know of-Hop
Bitters. The writer hes had occasion
to use the Bitters In just such climate
ns we have most OF the year in Bay
City, and has always found them to be
i,oo 1tS1h Iin1S oil Ia az
is claimed for them.-1ridune.
A New YORKER predicts that "the
time is near at hand when race Of
honey-bees Will be introduced to the
American people who have no stingers.
But tho American people who have no
st,ngcrs-who and where arc they
Or, rather, who and where are the
American people who have no singers
Perhaps tho American people who have
no sttnger will object to making the
acquaintance Of new race of honey
bees.
1T seems almost incredible that the
elephant has 10000 muscles in his
trunk; but after u man has e1 perienced
al elephants gentle twist about his sys-
tenn anu been thrown the whole length
OF tho mcnagare tent, through the
candy stand into the lemonade sub, no
will be willing to take his oath that
there are at least million and half
muscles in t!at interesting animals
front tail.
"TnE rent OF this house Is only
twenty dollars month" said Kan
cas- City landlord.
~ nd wo nav Inr tho vvotar9 I thinl
1t quite high"
"Ah, but you don't SEQ half Of tho
advantages. You can get at your
neighbours wood pile through this hole
III the fcnce.'
Bargain closed on the spot.
A YOUNG man. tho other day, who
believed In such things, went to a for
tuno-teller. "I," said he, Gam madly
In love, but have a rival; unvell tho
future." '':rho young lady," was
the reply, "will be widow in three
monthS.' The young man went
stralghtway AMI It's eYery inducment
TO make the fair one marry his rival.
PHILADELPHIA husbands have In
duoed local paper to state that "the
tho last thing to explode was miliner's
At the new styles were seriously in
jured." But it womb work, gentle
men. What ia danger to a woman COM
pared to tho sight OF = new bonnetf
"THKRE," said Jones, triumphantly
holding up his egg at the breakfast
table, II was always told l wanted
chic, and now l've got It," A smile
perambulated the table, as a matter OF
course, and the young man who 10
studying French laughed immoderate-
ly after the joke had been thoroughly
explained to him.
"lN the hour OF danger woman
thinks least of herself" said Nine. dc
Stael. Truel When the thunder
roars and the vivid lightning fla shes,
and the big drops come down, the wo-
man who is caught out in the storm
devotcs her agony to the thought that
her hat and dress will be ruined.
a CLUB in South Carolina recently
expelled TWO of It's members for fight
ing duel. The club says there is no
harm In fighting duel, bnt whc n
neither party receives a scratch it 10
perfectly disgracetul, and the reputa-
ton OF the organization must be pre-
served.
A MINSTREL troupe with six "end
men" appeared In y neighboring town
few nights ago. After the perform
ance tho entire company were "end"
men--at the end Of their purse, and at
their Wits end how to get out of town
Without paying their bills.