The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1880-10-02
ONE OF THE "JINERS.'
Experience of a Woman whose Husband
Took to Orders.

Experience of Woman whose Husband
Took to Orders.
( She was about forty-iive years old, well
( dressed. had black hair, rather thin and
tingcd with gray, and eyes in which
| cleaned the fires of Il determination not
easily baked. She walked into Major
IIuse's office, in. Patterns block, and re-
puested private interview, and having
obtained and satisfied herself that the
law students were not listening at the
key-hole, said slowly, solemnly. and i'm
pressively:
:" want a DIVORCE
"What for? supposed you had one
of the best of husbands" said the Ma
jor.
"Is'pose that's what everybody thinks,
/ but if they knew what I've suffered i'll
ten years they d wonder hadn't scalded
him long ago. l ought to, but for the
sake Of young ones. I've told him, though,
what he might depend on, and now the
times come. | won't stand it, young
ones or no young ones; I'll have divorce,
and if the neighbors want to blab them
selves hoarse about it, they can, for
won't stand it another day"
But what's the matter? Doesn't
your husband provide for you? Doesn't
he treat you kindlyo" pursued the law
yer.
"We've got victuals enough and l
don't know but he's rs true and kind as
men in general. and he's never knocked
none of us down. | wish he had; then
Id got him into jail and know where he
was of nights" retorted the woman.
"Then what's your complaint against
him?''
"Well, if you must know, he'a one of
them plagued jiners.''
a WHAT"
"A jiner-onc of them pesky fools
that's always jining something. There
can't nothing come along that's dark and
sly and hidden, but he'll jine it. If any
body should get up society to burn his
house down, he'd jine it just as soon as
he could get in; and if he had to pay for
it, he'd go all the suddener. We hadn' t
been married more'n two months before
he jined the Know Nothin's. We lived
ON Il farm then, and every Saturday night
he'd come tearin' in before supper. grab
4 tistful of nut cakes. and go off gnaw-
ing EN-, and that's the last I'd see of
him till morning. And every other night
he d roll and tumble in his bed. and hol-
Ter in his sleep, Put none but Americans
on guard-George Washington And on
rainy days he would go out in the corn
barn and iab at a picture of the Pope
with an old bayonet that was there. l
ought to put my foot down then, but he
fooled me SO with his lies about the Pope
coming to make all the Yankee girls
marry 1rishmen, and to eat up all the
babies that warn't born with a cross on
their forehead, that let him go on and
encouraged him in it.
Then he jined the Masons. P'raps you
know what them be, but | don't 'cept
they think they are the same kind of
critters that built Solomon's temple and
took care of his concubines: and of all
the darned nonsense and CAB about wor-
shipful masters and square and COM
passes and such like that we had in the
house, for the next six months you never
see the beat. And he's never outgrowed
it, nuther. What do you think of a man.
| Squire, that'll dress hissclf in a white
apron, bout big enough for monkey
bid, and so marching up and down, and
making motions, and talking the foolish
lingo at Il picture of George Washing
ton in a green jacket, and truss on his
stomach? Amt he a lunatico Well
that's my Sam, and I've stood it as long
as I'm agoin' to.
The next lunge the old fool made, was
the Odd Fellows. | made it warm for
him when he came home and told me
he'd jined them, but he kinder pacitied
me by telling me they had sort of
branch show that took i'll women and
he d get me i'll as soon as he found out
how to do it. Well, one night he came
home and said I'd been proposed, and
somebody had black-balled me- Did it
hissclf, of course. Didn't want me around
knowing his goings on. OF course he
didn't, and | told him so.
Then he iined the Sons of Matter. Did
not say nothing to me about it, but just
sncaked off one night, pretendin' he'd
got to set up with sick Odd Teller and
Id never found it out, only he came home
lookin' like a man that had been through
the thrashing machine, and l wouldn't
do a thing for him till he owned up. And
50 it's gone from bad to wus, and from
WIS to wusser, jining this and that and
other, till he's Worship Minister of the
Masons, and Goddess of Hope of the Odd
Fellows, and Sword Swallower of the
Finnegans, Virgin Cerus of the Grange,
and Grand Mogul of the Sons of Indo-
lence. and Two Edged Tomahawk of the
United Order Of Black Men, and Tale
bearer of the Merceful Manikins, and
Skipper of the Guild 'Caratrine Column
bus, and Big Wizard of the Arabian
| Nights, and Pledge Passer of the Re-
form Club, and Chief Bulger of the Irish
Mechanics, and Purse Keeper of the
Canadian Conscience, and Double Bar
relied Dictor of the Knights of the Brass
| Circles. and Standard Bearer of the ROYAL
Archangels, and Sublime Porte of the
Onion League, and Chambermaid of the
| CELESTIAL Cherubs, and Puissant Poten-
tate of the Petriiied Pig Stickers, and
| the Lord only knows what else. I've
borne it and borne it, hopin' he'd get
em all ,iined after while, but faint no
use, and when he'd got into new one
and been made Grand Guide of the
Knights of Horror, told him I'd quit,
and will
Here the Major interrupted, saying:
"Wcl, your husband is pretty well
initiated, that's fact; but the court will
hardly call that good cause for Il di-
vorce. The most of the societies you
mention are composed of honorable men
and have excellent regulations. Many
Of them. though called lodges, are relief
associations and mutual insurance COM
panics, which, if your husband should die,
would take care of you. and would not
see you suffer if you We're sick