The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-09-10
A PSALM OF AGONY.

Inc pfOSpoX WaZ glOruS.
Hanook, which wuz the good lookin
statesman which wun all ov the princi-
pal battles ov the late unpleasantness
aud the supurb soljer which delivered
the niggers in Looizanner into the hands
of their material masters, he'd bin nomin-
ated and we thot the Republicans wood
swaller him numerously.
We wuz confident that five thousand
ov them wood vote for him in Vermont.
We he'd nominated for gunner man
which was man ov much culcher.
Likewise he wuz the biggest lawyer
in the state.
Likewise the biggest statesman in
the state.
He he'd always bin rite on all ques-
tons ov politicle nacher.
He hated the Niger like all noble
soles hate the lower classes.
He he'd the proper idee Ov Abe Lin
kon, tho We don't say much about that
out loud.
lie wuz ideel Democrat, which re-
presented reform.
We slung mud onto Credit Mobeelyer
Dcgolyer Garfield.
Mud wuz our most powerful weepOn.
+ 1t wuz our only weepon.
We Taft at Roswell Farnham, which
he'd bin only Union soljer, aud wuznt
ekal to Phelps ss q lawyer.
We sed to the Republicans:
State expenses is too hi.
Vote for Phelps.
Saleries Is too big.
Vote for Phelps.
Stop the expense OF prosecutin likk er
dcelers under unricheus law.
Vote for Phelps.
Repeel the game law.
Vote for Phelps.
Its gol-darncd dry.
Vote for Phelps.
This is o white mans government.
Vote for Phelps.
Redoose our supreem court judges.
Vote for Phelps.
Make en- work harder.
Vote for Phelps.
For less pay.
Vote for Phelps.
Darn all rings.
Vote for Phelps.
Cuss all corporations.
Vote for Phelps.
Tax EN- to death. =.
Vote for Phelps.
Let the Democracy manage things
for you.
Vote for Phelps.
Let the infooence of the patriotic
staff OF Vermont DO given to the superb
good-lukin, gorjus Unyun soljer and
statesman Hancock, witch is good
enuff statesmen for us eff we kin emily
git the offices.
Vote for Phelps.
We thot shoOr that all thes arguments
wood fetch lots ov EN- and beginning
wood be made for the Democrisy to
handle the taxes and count the votes ov
this state.
But 1t is ornery and cussid Republi.
can stronghold,
The fools all voted for Roswell Farm
ham, which hasn't much culcher and Ia
q Ornery lawyer, and which we wood
rather hev Phelps to defend MS when
we arc hauled up for some little fun
agin the laws.
Which we all expect to be sometime.
They diddent even redOose their ma
jOrity, bnt increased 1t to 25 thousand.
They hav showed that the demon of
sekshunal hate possesses en- dreadful.
We begin to feer that Maine will show
the demon of sekshunal hate.
Likewise Injisnny.
Likewise Moo York.
Likewise Connecticut.
Likewise Moo Jersey.
Wat good Is Solid South IL we've
got to hev solid North agin us?
What good Is the superb good looking
soGer and statesman, Hancock, which
won all the battles ov the unpleasant
nessf
Watts the good ov Twin eff we cant
hev the pOstofiices and furrin mishuns !?
Greet IL In our sOles and we feer our
dreems will be busted. Selah.
Kin we stand another fore years OF
weery waiting?
Hardly.
Kin we liv g when we are licked
to death?
Hardly.
Wood, wood thai pestilence, even
the kollery, or cucumber, or green
watermelon wood reduce the Republic
kin majority.
Then wood we Ievel In fat Offices.
and steel our living from the people,
which We Inv.
Waite till next November.