The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1880-11-21
WIT AND HuM0R.
The beehive is the poorest thing in
the world TO fall back on.

The beehive is the poorest thing in
the world to fall back on.
There is some good left in the world
after all The man who invented
spotted stockings lost money on them.
A little girl, noticing the gIittering
gold filling in her aunt's front tooth,
exclaimed: Aunt Mary, | wish |
had copper-tocL teeth like yours
There is a fortune in store for the
genius who shall produce boiIcr-iron
shoe for the small boy. Something
warranted 10 last two weeks is what
is wanted.
Two ladies meet. Says No. /:
"Why, do You know what | heard
about you?' "Pve no idea" II heard
that when your husband was sick and
not expected 10 live YOU went TO 4
picnic" az, avile SANDER; IL was
only an excursion
Boarding house chicken soup can he
made, it is said 10y hanging up a hen
in the sun so that her shadow shall
fall into apot of salt and water. The
only trouble is that on a cloudy day
the soup is liable to be weak.
A gentleman who married widow
complained to her that he liked his
beef we'll done. "Ah! | thought |
was cooking for Mr.. Brown" said
she, "hc liked his rare. But, darling,
will try and forget the poor dear
Troy Times.
A gentleman saw an old darkey
down on a Galveston wharf fishing.
"What luck, uncle?" he asked. NO
luck at all, boss. Fish is giltin skur-
ser and skurser cherry yeahr." Then
they used to be more plen,iful?"--
"You bet dey was. In 1912 cotched
in Galveston bay sometimes fifty rcd
fish in an hour, and when dar wasn't
any fish at all dar, | neber cotchcd less
than twenty-five"
1t is well to look ut all sides of q
subject before You indulge in anopin-
ion. Curran once said TO Father
Leary: II wish, reverend father, that
you were st. Peter, and had the keys
of Heaven, because then you could let
me in" The shrewd and witty priest
saw the sarcasm, and turned its sharp
edge on the skeptic by replying; by
my honorand conscience, sir, it would
be better for YOU that had the keys
OF the other place that | could let you
out"
She wcpt, the poor laundrGss, onrc-
turning five shirts, where her patron
had intruslcd her with six. and con-
iessed that she had burned o hole in
the shirt while ironing. "Never
mind" SAYS the customer kindly;
"Christmas comes but once a year, and
that viii be all right. How much do
owe you?" "SiX shirts at twelve
and II half cCnts--Scventy-ii cents"
But you burned one OF them up
well, suppose did? Hadn't wash
cd it before burned it? 60 along
wild yc, trying TO chatc a poor disco
lutte widow"
a certain young Boston bachelor,
wealthy but modest, was taking his
bath one morning when his telephone
called him. lie sprang from the tub
alu was hOrrlllcu 10 near Illat u iauy,
wife of distinguished New York
banker, was at The other end of the
wire mile away. 1t would never do
for him to carry on Il conversation
with lady in his present condition.
Excuse me. A thousand pardonsW
he cried, aghast. lie donncd his dress
ing-gown and then repaired to the
telephone and convcrsed without fear
or molestaton.
Little Robby, aged years, has at
tended Sunday School one or two
months. lie is IN apt scholar, and
gives early promise OF bearing rich
ethical iruitagc. AT play viii. an
older brother, the other day, his orig
inal Adam so far got tie better of him
as to cause him to clinch his little
fists and strike his brother. Brother
Tom was about to retaliatc with his
more formidable weapon, when Bob
by cried out: "No, no, no! Teacher
says 90 nlu't strike back when 90 IL
hit.".