davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
HOTEL DIRECTORY,

Embracingthe leading Hotels at which the DAILY
PRESS may always be found.
ALFRED.
ALFRED HoUSE-R H. Cooling, Proprietor.
AUBURN.
ELM HOUSE, Court st.-w. S. & A. Young, Pro-
AUGUSTA.
AUGUSTA HOUSE, State St.-M. Whitehead Pro.
pretor.
BATH.
SHANNON'S HoTEL-Jerry Shannon. Proprietor
BATH HoTEL-C. NJ. Plummer, Proprietor.
BELFAST.
AMERICAN House,. ID. Tucker, Proprietor
BOLsTER,s MILLS.
| HANCOCK HoUSE-M. Hancock, Proprietor.
BOSTON.
PARKER HOUSE, School St.-H. D. Parker 8 Co
BRUNSWICK.
P. g. K. DINING ROOMS-W R. Field, Proprieto
CORNISH.
DAVIS HoTEL-M. B. Davis, Proprietor.
DANvYLLE JUNCTION.
CLARK'S DINING HALL, Grand Trunk Railway
Depot-M. w. Clark, Proprietor.
DEXTER
MERCHANTS EXCHANGE HoTEL-w. G. Nor
rill, Proprietor.
EAST BROwNEHELD.
UBERTY HOUSE-w. FL. stckney, Proprietor.
EAsTPORT.
PAssAMAQUODDY HoUsE-A. Pike s. Co., Pro-
prietors
PORTLAND.
CITY HOTEL, Corner of Congress and Green Sts.
j. X. Martin, Proprietor.
FALMOUTH HOTEL, Corner of Middle and Union
$50. NJ: Shaw Son, Proprietors.
PERRY'S HOTEL, 1 Z Federal st.-J. G. Perry
PREBLE HOUSE. Congress ST.. Lindsey y Son
ST. NICHOLAS HOTEL. Temple st.-Albert H.
Humes Proprietor.
U. S. HOTEL, junction of Congress and Federal sts
Mcdonald Il Newbegin, Proprietors.
PHILLIPS.
ELMWooD HoUSE-T. l.. Page, Proprietor.
RAYMOND VILLAGE.
CENTRAL HOUSE, VIM. Ii. Smith, Proprietor.
sACCARAPPA.
PRESu MPSCoT HoUSE,-W. S. Pratt, Proprietor
sKOwuEGAN.
TURNER HoUsE,-w. G. Heselto Proprietor
ELM HOUSE,-F. A. Dore, ProDrieto
ELLSWORTH.
AMERICAN HOUSE-A.I L. Saunders, Prop.
WEST MARPSWELL.
HARPSWELL HOUSE.-A. j. Merriman, Propr
MAITLAND.
MARYLAND HOUSE. j. B. Littlefeli, Prop.
HIRAM.
Mt. CUTLER H0USE-Hiram Baston, Proprietor
H0ULTON.
SMELL HOUSE d. o. Floyd Proprietor.
LEWISTON.
DEWITT HoUSE-Quinby & Murch, Propretors
N0RRIDGEWOCK.
DANFoRTH HOUSED. Danforth, Proprietor.
NORTH ANsON.
SOMERSET HOUSE, Brown Hilton, Projectors
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
MEDICAL.
Wei De Meyers
ia ARRH

OURE. Unquestionably the most important
medical discovery since vaccination. remedy
which assimilates with the mucous membrane and
forms not only local, but constitutional
cure at any stage. One package generally suffices
Delivered by Druggists or by D. B. DEWEY g. Co..
40 Dey Street, N. Y, S1.5O complete. Treatise and
remarkable statements by the cured, mailed free
The afflicted can refer to-
s. LEWIS, 220 Pleasant ST., Boston;
II. A. CHoATE, Revere House;
B. F. BRADBURY, Washington St..
GEO. q. GOODWIN, Hanover St.;
w. GERAGHry, 81 White St., Lawrence;
Mrs. A. j. WHITTLEsEY, Sheffield, Mass;
CAswELL MASSEY, Newport, X. l.;
Mrs. SUSAN B. LEIGHTON, New Market, N. H.;
Mrs. EDGAR MOoREs, Friendship, Me-;
MRS. GEO. WEBSTER, 80 E kchange ST., Portland
Mrs GEORGE HAYDEN, West Roxbury, Mass.
Mrs. A. M. PARTRIDGE. Jamaica Plains, Mass
Mile AIMEE, Opera Prma Donna;
PAUL BoYToN, the great swimmer, Flushing, L. I
Rev. G. II. TAYLOR, 40 Noble ST., Brooklyn, N.
SAM'L BENEDICT. Jr. 697 Broadway N. " etc.
A real cure of Catarrh for $1.5O!
oct11 MW&F1y
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
RICHMOND LOCALS.

RICHMOND, Nov. 10.
A slight furry of snow this forenoon, the
first of the season.
Richmond Lodge No. Sc, 1. o. o. F., cele
brated its third anniversary last evening. The
history of the Lodge was given by the Noble
Grand, and remarks, essays, music and toasts
constituted the evenings programme. An
oyster supper was enjoyed by about ITO of the
members and their friends at the Mitchell
House.
The building boom is still upon us.
Foster & Spaulding's saw mill has started VI
again.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
MASONIC.
MASONIC.
Al lLnsonie Hall No 95 Erchnnne Street


AT Masonic Hall No. 95 Exchange Street.
YORK RIGHT.
BLUE LoDGE-Ancient Land-Mark first Wednes-
day; Portland second Wednesday; Atlantic, third
Wednesday, Hiram, Tuesday, on or next before ev-
Elizabeth.
CHAPTERs-GreeneafR r. A. c., first Monday; Mt.
Vernon, r. A. c., third Monday.
CoUNcIL-Portland c. r. s. S. Masters,-socoud
Monday.
COMMANDMENTS OF X. T-Portland, fourth Mon
day; St. Albans second Thursday; Blanguefort, I'd
Thursday.
GRAND BoDIEs-Grand Lodge, first Tuesday in
May; Grand Chapter, first Tuesday evening in May;
Grand Council, Wednesday 2 D. M; Grand Com
mandery, Wednesday evening.
MASONIC RELIEF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT Wednes-
day in every month.
PORTLAND SCHOOL OF Masonic INsrRUcTIpS-
Second and fourth Tuesday of each month.
ANCIENT ACCEPTED SCOTTISH RITE
LoDeE-Yates Grand Lodge of Perfection, first
Friday.
ACoUNcIL-Portland Council, P. of j., second Fri
day.
CHAPTER-Duulap Chapter Rose Croix de H.
Third Friday.
CoNsIsToRY-Maine Consistory s. p R. s., fourth
Friday in March. June, September and December.
L. o. O.. F.
ut odd Fettows' Hail. Harrington Block Congress
Street.
RELIEF AssocIATIoN-Third Tuesday in the
month.
BENEFIT AssocIATIoN-Board of Directors meet
third Monday evening of each month. Association
meets third Monday evening of january.
LoDGFs-Maine No. l, on Monday evenings; Bea.
con, ION Tuesday evenings; Unity, No. B. ON Wednes-
day evenings; Ancient Brothers, on Thursday eve
nings; Ligonia, on Friday evenings; Harmony on
Saturday evenings; Ivy, d. of r., second and fourth
Thursday of each month
Recommendation first and third We'd
nesday, Eastern STAR second and fourth Wednesday;
Portland, first and third Friday; Falmouth, No. IL.
first and third TUESDAYS.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
FOR SALE.

FINE, thoroughbred entucky saddle horse.
n Seven years old, color bright nay, sound.
Kind and perfectly healthy. An excellent amin j III
every particular. Very stylish under the saddle and
good roader in harness Sold only as the owner is
about to leave the country. Call upon or address
H. B. KENDRICK, Saco, Maine:
Nov. 8, 1886. noy8 dtf
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
Portland and Worcester Lien
PORTLAND & ROCHESTER, r. r.

WINTER ARRANGEMENT.
ssss assassssssN $50, Passenger Trains will leave
si5=-s-5.5.ss59P Portland at 30 a. M, and
s--s-a.25 p. ma arriving at Worcester
at 2.15 p. m. and 7.3O p. m. Returning leave
Union Depot, Worcester, at 7.3O and IL 10 a.
M, arriving at Portland at lilo p. and $40 p.
N.
For Clinton, Aver Junc., Fitchbnrg,
Nashua, Lowell, Windhum, and Ep-
ping at 1870 n m. and 4 rs p. mn.
For Manchester, Concord and points North, at
l.2J p. IN.
For Rochester, springvaIe, Alfred, Wat
erbOro and sacO Esiver.5 30 a. M, rs
p. M, and (mixed) at 6.45 p. na. Returning
leave Rochester at (mixed) 6.45 a. M, 100
Gnixed) 9.35 a. M, Ito p. m. and 6.I0 p. m.
For Gorhasa, Saccarappn, Cumberland
Mills, WestbrOok and WOodford's.
at 30 N. M, l.2J, geo and (nixed) 6.45
The /. %J p. mn. til ain from Portland connects at
Aver juno. with EoOsac Tunnel Route for
the West, and at Union Depot, Worcester, for
New York via Norwich Line, and all rail,
via Sprimgfie also with N. ". & N. IL. II.
II. CSteamer Maryland Route'o for Phiiadel-
phia, Baltimore, Washington, and the
South and with Boston g. Albany II. h. fos
the West.
ton with through trains of Me. Central r. r.. and
at GrandTrunk Transfer Portland, with trains
of Grand Trunk R. r.
Through tickets to all points South and West, at
Depot offices and at Rollins Adams, No. % Ex-
j. W. PETERS, Gen. Ticket Agent.
GEO. Z. WES L, Supt. oc16dtf
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

What They Say of Hold Fasf Tobacco.
Boston, April II, 1880.
P. j. EATON, ESQ. Dear Strive have been US
ing the Hold Fast lob accofor three months, and
have found it to be fine quality any tobacco
we have ever sold at the price. 1t has invariably
given the most perfect satisfaction to customers
Yours respectfully,
ESTABROOK q EATON,
NOS. 222 and ga Washington st., Boston.
ANIL diff
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

The favorIte Steamers Forest City and John
Brooks will alternately leave FRANKLIN WHARF
Portland, at o'clock p. M, and INDIA WHARF,
Boston, at o'clock p. m daily. Sundays excepted).
Passengers by this line are reminded that they
comfortable nights rest and avoid the expense
and inconvenience of arriving in Boston late at night
~ Tickets and Staterooms for sale at d. II.
YOUNG'S, 272 Middle Street.
Through Tickets to New York. via the various
Rail and Sound Lines for sale at very low rates.
Freight taken as usual.
j. b. COYLE, Jr,, General Agent.
aprb diff
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

VIM. LAWRENCE, II. MILLER.
From Boston direct every WEDNESDAY
and SATURDAY ut 3 p. M.
Freight forwarded from Norfolk to Washington and
Alexandria by steamer Lady of the Lake and
through rates given.
Freight forwarded to Petersburg, Richmond and ell
Points South and Southwest via Va. and Tenn. Air
Line. c. Gather, Agent, 240 Washington street.
yond via Atlantic Coast Line, Waldo A. Pearce
Agent No. 229 Washington Street.
And to all points in the West by Baltimore q Ohio
R. R., NJ. W. Dawson, Agent, 219 Washington
street.
Ship via Seaboard Air Line to Raleigh, Charlotte
Spartansburg, Greenville, Atlanta, the Carolnas
and Georgia Points. A. H. Torricelh, Agent, 29O
Washington St. Through bills of lading given by the
above named agents.
Passage 10 Norfolk and Baltimore including
Berth and Meals, LIST Glass, 50. I'd Glass, 81.
For freight passage to Norfolk. Baltimore, Wash
ington, or other Information apply to
L. SAMPSON, Agent
no2dtf Central Wharf. Boston.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
For Lewiston and Auburn.

Passenger Trains leave at 1890 and sos p. m.
The train leaving at Ill p. also has passen-
ger car attached, connecting at Brunswick with
passenger train for Lewiston. The 11.15 pm.
is the Night Express Train with Pullman sleeping
car attached making close connection at Bangor
for all stations on the Bangor & Piscataquis r. r.,
the E. Il N. A. Railway, and for 81. John and
Halifax, H0ulton, Woodstock, vt. An
drews, st. Stephen, Fredel icIon, Fort
Fairfield and Carbon.
Passenger Trains arrive in Portland as
follows-The morning trains from Augusta, Gar
diner, Bath, Brunswick and Lewiston at $3.50 and
$40 a. IN. The day trains from Bangor, Dexter,
Belfast Skowhegan. Pennington. X. & L. r. R.,
and all intermediate stations at 1916 and 12. 80
r.m. The afternoon trains from Augusta, Bath,
and Lewiston at 5.45 p. m. The Night Pullman
Express train at 1.50 a. m.
PAYSON TUCKER. Sup't
Portland. Oct, II. 1880
Oct13
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
STEAMERS.
Portland, Bangor & Machias
STEAMBOAT co.
FOR
ROCKLAND, MT. DESERT, MIL
BRIDGE and MACHHAs.
Fall Arrangement, 1850.
Two Trips per Week until further nofice

Srs&sus~~ ,, On,
,a,Mn ~ The Steamer CITY OF
z GA aszSS-raTEs RICHMOND, Capt. W. Il. Den
nison will leave Railroad Wharf,
Portland every Tuesday, and Friday eve
nings, at HIS O'Clock, or on arrival OF Pull
man express train from Boston, for Rocklnnd,
Castine, Deer Isle, Sedgwick, so. West
ana Bar HarbOrs, (it. Desert,) Miiibridge,
, OnespOrt, and MachiaspOrt.
Returning, VIII leave Machiasport every Won
day and Thursday Morning, al 4.3O O'Clock,
touching as above, arriving in Portland about Mid
night connecting with the Pullman night train for
Boston and the West. Passengers will not be dis
turbed unless wishing to take the Pullman.
Steamer City of Richmond connects at Rockland
with Sanford 5. 5. Co., for Belfast, Bangor and
River Landings, every Saturday Morning.
Conf West Monday, receives passengers and
freight from River landings for Portland
GEO. l.. DAY, Gen. Ticket Agent,
e. GUSHING. General Manager.
nov9 diff
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

Hancock is two gold-headed canes, pair of
spurs, fine Autograph collection, and gor-
geous bed quilt ahead, anyhow. Chicago IN
ter-Ocean.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
To Let.
To be Let.

On and after Oct. 4, 1850, the
premises now occupied by #. o.
Bailey Il Co., Nos 35 q 80 Ex.
change ST. Apply To
HENRY DEERING,
No. 81 Exchange st.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
TO K.et.

ANE or two pleasant rooms suitable for ladies or
" gentlemen. Enquire at 4 PROSPECT ST.
my19 diff
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
Wit and Wisdom.

| Hancock is two gold-headed canes, pair of
| spurs, fine autograph collection, and a gor-
geous bed quilt ahead anyhow. Chicago IN
| ter-Ocean.
Picked up ON the floor of the post-office,
| written in a trembling hand-"Please deliver
| to the bearer one of your best hats, and charge
| to my account.-Lowel Citizen.
| A Californian's matrimonial advertisement
| winds up as followr: Fortune no object, but
| should require the gals relations to deposit
| $500 with me as security or her good beha-
| vior."
No youth can ever know what real heart
string music means until he sees the miss of
his choice kiss another boy in exchange for a
pint of peanuts.
Old Neptune, if asked why he should have
the jelly fish among his fauna, would prob
ably reply, Because it is Medusa boston
Transcript.
Always ascertain what thing is intended
or before exhausting your critical powers
npon it. A locomotive wasn't intended to
draw baby wagon, nor was baby wagon
intended to be drawn by a locomotive.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Get out Doors.
The close confinement of all factory work
gives the operatives pallid faces, poor appetites,
languid, miserable feelings, poor blood inactive
liver, kidney and urinary troubles. and all the
physicians and medicines in the world cannot
help them unless they get out of doors or use
| Hop Bitters, the purest and best remedy, es-
| pecialy for such cases, having abundance of
| health, sunshine and rosy cheeks in them
| Thew cost but tri1e. See another column
Christian Recorder.
A lady one day wrote to her absent husband
the following letter, which may be quot ed as
model in its way: 81 write to you bee ause
have nothing to do; end because I have moth
ing to say
1t is the amiable custom of q worthy doctor,
when speaking of funeral which he sees, to
| allude to it as doctor A's.'' "Some of BIS
work." "That's by c." and SO On.
The other day, being questioned as to three
| professions that are approaching the cemetery
| in close order, he replied with a comprehen-
sive wave of the hand:
"All from young D., who has just begun to
practice here. Rising young fellow that!
Great future before him.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
STATED MEETINGS.
CITY GOVERNMENT.

CITY GOVERNMENT.
The regular meetings of the City Council take
place the first Monday evening of each month.
The School Committee meet the fourth Monday
vening of each month.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
Real Estate Agency.

DARTfES desiring to sell Houses or Real Estate
Il of any descripti n, can I've the regis
tered at this office. NO ~aie No Commission.
Desirab lots Land for sale Responsible parties
buying lots pr posing build houses, have
advances to buy lumber, taking mortgage payable
in nstallments. The public will ind it to their
advantage to patronize this agency. Office 166
Fore street. Portland
oct16eod3m JOHN W. MUNGER.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

Picked up ON the floor of the post-ofice,
written in trembling hand-"Please deliver
to the bearer one of your best hats, and charge
to my account.-Lowel Citizen.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
INTERNATIONAL STEAMSHIP co.

Esssporf, Me-, Csiaize Me-, Yarmouth,
=; 81 G, SohS, ~ go, a. u .a a.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
RumfOrd Falls & BuCkfield
RAILROAD.

For Portland, leave Canton 4.2O
lsasssganasssas and 80 a. M; Buckfeld, 5.15 and
e1. ..--sa.z99 O.08 a. m.
-s--aE For Canton and Buckfeld leave
Portland 1.,O p. M; LIE iston i.57 p. m.
Stage connections for West Sumner, Dixfeld,
Byron, Rangley Lakes &C.
/. HASHRURN JR., President.
Portland Oct. IS. 1880. oc20tf
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

No youth can ever know what real heart
string music means until he sees the miss of
his choice kiss another boy in exchange for a
pint of peanuts.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

Old Neptune, if asked why he should have
the jelly fish among his fauna, would prob
ably reply, Because it is Medusa. boston
Transcript.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

For Sale.
- HOUSES, at bargain. Prices ranging from
q $500 to $1,000. Apply to w. W. CARR
1877 Newbury Street. oct14dtf
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

A lady one day wrote to her absent husband
the following letter, which may be quot ed as
model in its way: II write to you bee ause 1
have nothing to do; end because I have moth
ing to say"
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

A Calfornians matrimonial advertisement
winds up as followr: Fortune no object, but
should require the gals relations to deposit
$500 with me as security or her good bcha-
yior"
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

TO Let.
TNHE store now occupied by G. NJ. Bosworth, il
Il Free St. Block No. 4. Possession given Nov.
For terms apply at the office of H. j. LIBBY g. CO.
over First National Bank. sep30d1wteodtf
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12

Always ascertain what thing is intended
or before exhausting your critical powers
npon it. A locomotive wasn't intended to
draw baby wagon, nor was a baby wagon
intended to be drawn by a locomotive.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
REAL ESTATE.
FOR SALE.

EVEE SALE.
TIME three story frame store size, "a by 20. Sit
Il uated on the sou b side of Commercial ST.,
next Dana Co. This store has large capacity,
and has been thoroughly repaired fr m the foun-
dation. A good chance for investment. For
further particulars, enqu re of E. e. UPHAM, No.
Exchange st. oc2Sd1m*
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
no Let.

"A pleasant front room in Congress Square
"A Inquire at 606 Congress st. nov5dtf
The Portland daily press., 1880-11-12
TO LET.

TO LET.
1.-TWO tenements on High st. Sebago water and
Il Gas, Furnaces in cellar. Stable for one tene-
ment. Apply to W. II. SIMONTON, 304 Com
mercial st. Oct27dtf
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-08-19

Chambers Journal tells us: "Lud-
low street, a very unsavory quarter of
New York, is inhabited chiefly, if not
wholly, by Poles. They are the cat
meat purveyors of that city, hunting
the streets ut night to capture cats for
sausage. Three OF them especially de-
vote themselves to getting, feeding
ami breeding cats for the table. The
cats captured are carefully examined.
Those III good plight are at once kill
ed. The others are fattencu. When
kept i'll yard, the walls are smeared
with something SO obnoxious to the
feline nature, that no cat will pass it.
\ recent visitor to a Ludlow street
yard says: 1T presented most anus
ing spectacle. About one hundred
cats OF all sizes, colors, and ages, were
sleeping, eating, quarreling, and cat
erwauling; ali grades being represent
ed, from the handsome Angora and
Maltese to the homely backyard Tom.
When considered tit for eating the cats
are sold to small butchers who make a
speciality of cat sausage. The delicacy
has ready sale, which is ever incrc.s-
ing. Those who indulge in it declare
cat meat superior to any rabbit
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-08-19
Fool Friends.

Nothing hurts a lli;ln, nothing hurts
party So terribly us fool friends.
a fool friend is the Sower of bad
news. OF slandcr and all base and I'M
pleasant things.
lie tells you of the good luck your
enemy has had.
He implicitly believes every story
against you, and kindly suspects your
defense.
a fool friend is always full ola kind
OF stupid candor.
He Is SO candid that he always be
licves the statements of an enemy.
He never suspects anything on your
side.
Nothing pleases him like being
shocked by horrible news concerning
some good man.
lie never denies a lie unless it is in
your favor.
lie is always finding fault with his
party and is continually begging par
don for not belonging to the other
side
He is frightfully anxious that all
his candidates should stand well with
the opposition.
lie IS forever seeking the faults of
his party and the virtues of the other.
He generally shows his candor by
scratching his ticket.
lie always searches every nook and
corner OF his conscience to find Il rcas-
on for deserving friend or 4 princi-
pie.
In the moment of victory he is mag
unanimously on your side. In defeat,
he consoles You by repeating prope-
cics made after the event.
A fool friend regards your rcputa-
tion as common property, rs common
prey, for all vultures, hyenas and
jackals.
He takes sad pleasure in all your
miStOrtuncS
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-08-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

The society lady never sheds tears.
She knows enough to keep her pow,
der dry.
Says French critic "I like girl
before she gets wonanish, and Wo-
man before she gets girlish."
None of the Cincinnati nobs rais6
their hats to 4 lady until they have
passed by her two feet.
his arms ut ball. It was feint to
work in all elm brace.
YOU'RE man after my own heart, ;"
rs the blushing maiden confessed when
her lover proposed marriage.
An Oil City girl whose new beau
is clerk in dry-goods store told n
friend she had got IL new calico wrapper.
A woman isn't tit to have a baby
who doesn't know how to hold it !;
and this as true OF tongue as of 4
baby.
Insome respects the gentlcr sex far
surpass us. No man, for instance, can
deliver lecture with a dozen pins in
his mouth.
Il have had a surfeit of mock turtle
since l have been married, therefore
eat the soup yourself, my dear" said L
young married IIian to his wifc-
A MANNED soldier begged charity of
o poet, saying, Il have license to beg"
"Lice thou may'st have, but sense
thou caIst have nonc, to beg OF a
poet"
1t is awful hard to realize that q
woman is an angel when one sees her
pick up clothes-prop fourteen feet
long to drive two-ounce chicken out
OF the yard
An epicure requested his landlord
to get him spare-riD. The inn-keep-
err declared he had none but a crooked
rib, which lac should be glad enough
to spare.
a young gentleman being pressed
very hard in company to sing, even
after lie had soiennly assured them
he could not. observed testify they in-
tended TO make butt OF him. No,
my good sir, said Root, 1--WE only want
to get a stavc out OF you"
A belle, meeting her rival, said,
with all air OF much concern: My
dear, how old you look to-day. 1
never saw you look so oid" "N ell"
size quietly replied, -thit is not at all
wonderful, for, you see, L never was
SO old before Us am to-day J"
Alta crowded French country thea
tire woIIlIn Icil from the gallery to
the pit, ami was packed up by one OF
tho spectators, who, nearing her
groanIn9, asked her ii she WAS injured.
sMuch IIjurcd!" exclaimed the wo-
man, Il should think L am. l Iavo
lost the best seat i'll the very middle
of the front row.
A gentleman informed by bill on
the window of house, that apart
Iuents were to be let" Knocked ut the
door, and, attended Uy pretty female
took a survey of the PROMISES. pray
my DEAR" SAID he smiling, ARE you to
be let with these lodglng?" NO,
replied the file dc chanOrc with viva
city, "but L am to be let alone.
It was u bold. brash census man
Approached II lady true,
"IIow MANY kids?" said he, and She
Said, "What is tn 1t to you?"
~Its my busines - and she screamed:
aCome here 4 minute, Damp"
And Durly person came and put
A head on the census man.
A gentleman ordered his seryant "a
regular PaD to wake him at + o'clock
that he might get ready to start at
by an early coach, i'll which ne had
taken his place, for the country. The
gentleman awoke and called his man:
"What o'clock is it!" .'Just z, your
honor" "Seven-did not tell you to
wake me at 6?' Yes, sir" 'And
why did you not?" "Bccause your
honor was asleep"