The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-05-05
;s ] : en- MOBBIsF0WNg TENN.% WEDNESDAY, MAY s. 1880,
PASSING SMILES.

2 q p"
..,. PASSING SMILES. 80
/ A MisFIrT1xG coat is lie out of the
whole cloth. fa qe .rt .stfai.
I. q / THINK I'll take something" as the
thief said when he mixed in the crowd.
The best place to have boil-in the
| tea kettle. It is easily drawn. sae
/ - A. MIss-UNDERsTAEDING when 3
young lady cOmprehends, of course
r,tat I TUMBLE to the wreck it, as the
high wind said to the prairie hut. al9 !
j BREyITY is the soul, of wit, but it has
to be stretched out q good deal some
times to get enough for the uppers.
AN infamous old bachelor being asked
if he ever witnessed a public execution
replied. "No, but Inonce saw a mar
iage.' ..,4.,m .mW ..au .,es7rJ
e g TRNNYsoN spends hours on a single
/ line" And so, by. the way, does the
I washerwoman. And the line of the lat
ter Is the longest. .1at at ."'+ ''
IF a big head denotes ability, it is an
! interesting sight to observe what a show
ing of ability this town puts forth every
Monday morning. d. -, ,.t
|, A WITNESS in court was asked if a
| party to TIE suit was a truthful
| man. No." he answered, "he'd rather
lie st sixty days than tell tho truth for
/ cash" Ir.,'ai s D.. 'i'
| - ...s.taR I.H .rt I-d 500. tli
! The pletheric paste pot of an editor
! who clips more than he writes, is like his
| paper--seldom' filled with live mat
I ter.- Bdeke5tsacE Republican,. Experience
! rbeacheth. auU rHIIE -. H.'' 'H'''''
GREAT men do not consider them :
selves above every body else; tits those
+ ignorant little runts who wear standup
| collars and sport canes, and who refuse
to pay their washing bills, that think
+ everyone beneath them.
No other incident can call to a mans
face such an idiotic expression of as
sumed unconsci0usness as the accidental
fall of a bottle OF whiskeY from his
pocket to the sidewalk on Sunday af-
! teTnoOn. --.ac..o. '.f
WHO wouldn't be sailor? All you
have to do is yell "aye, aye, sir" at the
top of your voice about once in ten min
utes. The rest Of the tine you can look
over the ships stern and watch the
sharks.
He saw carpet hanging'out
Upon the c0thes-line in the rear
OF that fue mansion, and he thought:
'' The folks are out, the coast is clear,
I'll bag that Brusselsif can"
He did, ana making no delay
AdOwn the alley. in the dusk,
The carpet-nagger tramped away.
LEAP YEAR.-She-"A you engaged
for he next German?' He(with eager
egz)-"NO, I'm not" She with PITY
cob, that's too bad! Good evening. See
you later"
MAN wants but little ear, below, nor
wants that little long. Nan wants but
little ear bologna, wants that little long.
Man wantS but little leer wants but
litter here below; wants but little Leah
below; wants. but Little here below;
wants but little ear blow, etc.
"Jo3N, what odor is that?" "CIoves'
love" But that Other?" " "Allspice,
my beloved y But isn't there anOtherp %
Yes, apples, beloyedest." Just one
more?" 'Raisins, my most belOvedest."
"Well, John, if you'd only drink just
little brandy now, l think you would
make a good mince pie"
THIS being Ieap-year, a boarder at an
uptown amateur hotel thought it fine
fun to put a bent pin on each vacant
chair, until one agile feeder le8ped up
four feet into the air and came down
with his great unwashed hand in the
only bowl Of hash in the house. There
was famine until supper time.
THE dull-eyed donkey droops his head,
Wrapped in himself,
With patent perspicuily,
And meekly follows where he's led
The cunning elf:
But when his heels begin to shed,
His latent assiduty
Asserts ITSELF
-Hackensack Republican.
els there any mail for me?'' she said
to a handsome Ike.
g Certainly" said ne.
Where % said she.
Here" said he, with open arms.
That's my funeral, sang the maid.
Friends are invited to attend without
further notice. So much for what the
maid made by getting the male mail.
ONCE in a while we glance from our
office window and catch sight of a girl
of the period sailing along the streets,
with her hands in the pockets of one of
those jaupty little coats which are now
so fashionable, and yet the sight never
presents itself that we are not reminded
of two-handled cream pitcher in action.
- WdtertOo Observer.