Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1880-02-07
A Brakeman at Church.


The peculiarities of denomina-
tionalism force themselves upon
the mind of the world, and we
often find these set forth in the
parlance of men, whose work and
habits give rise to a Technology
we'll understood by certain classes.
An instance of this comes from
Burdette, whose article on a
brakeman at Church" we SUBJ
Join. 1t will be remarked, that
while it indicates peculiarities, it
makes no irreverent illusions to
the Sacred Name, and on this ac-
count may be enjoyed by our
readers. There is lesson in it:
On the road once more, with
Lebanon fading in the distance,
the fat passenger drumming idly
on the window pane, the cross
passenger sound asleep, aud the
tall, thin passenger reading Gen
eral Grants Tour Around the
World,' and wondering why
"Gfeen's August Flower" should
be printed above the doors of "a
Buddhist Temple at Benares." To
me comes the brakemen, and seat
ing himself on the arm of the seat,
says:
II went to church yesterday"
eyes ?" | said with that inter-
ested infection that asks for more.
And what church did yol attend ?"
(which do you guess ?" he
asked.
"Some union mission church 2"
| hazarded.
Now" he said, 81 don't like to
run on these branch roads very
much. / don't often go TO church,
and when do, want to run on a
main line, where your run is reg
ular and you 60 on schedule time,
and don't have to wait on conuec-
tions. | don't like to run on a
branch. Good enough, but | don't
like it.
Episcopal" l guessed.
"Limited Express he said, ''all
palace cars and two dollars extra
for a seat, fast time and only stop
at the big stations. Nice line, but
TWO exhaustive for a brakeman.
All train men in uniform, conduc-
tors punch and lantern silver
plated, and no train boys allowed.
Then the passengers are allowed
10 talk back to the conductors, and
it makes them too free and easy.
No, j couldn'r stand the palace
cars. Rich road, though. Don't
often hear of a receiver being APP
pointed for that line. Some nigh
~ nice people travel on it, too
"Univerealist?' | suggested.
"Broad gauge" said the brake
airy business. Everybody travels
on pass. Conductor doesn't get
a fare once in fifty miles. Stops at
all stations and won't run into
anything but Union depot. No
smoking car on the train. Train
orders are rather vague, though,
and the train men don't get along
we'll with the passengers. No, l
don't go to the Universalist,
though | know some awfully good
men who run on that road"
"Presby erian?' i asked.
Marrow gauge, eh 2" said the
brakeman; pretty track. straight
as rule, tunnel right through a
mountain rather than 60 around
it, spirit-level grade, passengers
have to show their tickets before
they get on the train. Mighty
strict road, but the cars are a little
narrow; have to sit one on a seat,
and no room in the aisle TO dance.
Then there are no stop-over tick
cts allowed; got to go straight
through to the station you're tick
eted for, or you can't get on at all.
When the cars full no extra
coaches; cars built at the shops to
hold just so many, and nobody
else allowed on. But you don't
often hear of an accident on that
road. LIS run right. up to the
rules"