davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-11-11


With the responsibility of the government
of many millions of people depending upon
him he may possibly prove wise and bene'
6cent ruler.
Augusta, Ca, Chroncce.-Dem.
The South at least has the satisfaction of
knowing that she kept her part Of the bar.
gain, and if "the hero of Gettysburg" is not
President, it is not her fault. We think, too,
that she has for the last time been led lamb
like to the slaughter. Her experiments with
loyal civilians and military heroes have not
been propitious in the past, and the future
holds out no hope in that direction. What she
will do, in the future, time must disclose.
Much depends upon how great gain the
Republicans have made in the Senate and
what their policy will be toward this section.
The South will be kept reasonably solid for
her own protection, and for the purpose of
preserving the balance Of power after the next
apportionment, when the political domain
shifts from east to west The tremendous
problem now confronting the two parties and
all sections, is: Will the administration of
Mr.. Garfield be, in case Of a control of Con-
gress, modelled upon that of Hayes, or dicta-
ted by Grant and Conkling, with Zschariah
Chandler's spirit as the inspiring goblin? Un.
til we know the exact nature of that admin
istration, we remain in allegiance. Meanwhile,
we may as we'll prepare for the worst, but
hope for the best.
1t is not at all certain that Mr.. Garfield,
now that he has been elected, will permit
Grant, Conkling & Go. to rule him. He may
put them in the background. Honors change
manners. We know from personal and 9TH
er experience, that helping man to hoiors
does not carry with it an obligation Of reward.
But it unfortunately happens that Mr.. Gar
field has always been, at least, guided by the
stalwart element of his party, and may be so
in the future. If so, the storm will come.
Grants eulogy of til; carpet bagger, and the
contests made in the South for Congress are
heralds of the tempest. Chairman Hubbell,
of the Republican Congressional Committee,
already forecasts the party design. The Re.
publicans expect to control Congress. Hear
him: He thinks Congress will be called to.
gether in special session next Spring and or.
ganized, the Republicans controlling both
branches. He says that in the House, they
will proceed to throw out any of the South.
ern Democrats who may be returned by open
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
A Shinty Match.

One of the episodes of the long feud be-
tween the Clan Gregor and the Colquhouns
of Luss-a quarrel that ended in the pros
cription of the MacGregors IN 1603-is
connected with match at shinty. Two
sections Of the Clan Alpine. who had
some cause of disagreement, had settled
the veXed question, and, TO celebrate the
renewal of perfect friendliness, the clans
men of both families agreed to meet and
spend some time IN merrymaking. One of
the chief events was TO be shinty match
between the men OF each family. That
their visitors and kinsmen might be royalty
entertained, the hosts organized n foray
into the C0lquhOuns' country by Loeb Lo-
mond side, and carried off many head of
fat cattle. Next day, in a level glen among
the hills, the MacGregurs, men, women
and children, were assembled, the men
armed for the time only with the sturdy
clubs to be used in their game. The ball
was thrown up, sticks ratified, all the shouts
and cheers of the game We're heard, when
suddenly, high above the noise of the
players, rose a shrek of the women, as
from all sides of the glen advanced the
hated Colquhouns. The clansmen, though
surprised and unarmed, at once formed up,
back to back, and with their clubs pre-
pared to meet the swords of the foe; but
tough ash and cold steel had hardly met
when, with screams of fury, naked dirk
in each hand and a bundle of claymores
under each left arm, the women of the
clan cut through :he Colquhouns, and
brought to their husbands the broadswords
that soon swept the men of Luss back
again to Lsch Lomond side.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
Cats and Dried Peaches.

Down at Howell the other day an DID
woman about seventy years old boarded &
Detroit, Lansing and Northern train tC
come to Detroit. Her baggage consisted
of a large covered basket, and she wouldn'
allow any hand to take l: from her. Sh,
had scarcely got seated when the passenger;
were startled by loud ''Me-owl" in the
car, quickly followed by ''per-wow" and
other ''wows" too numerous to mention.
While all were searching to discover the cat
the old lady sat as stiff Us poker and look
ed straight ahead at the s;ovepIpe. The
sounds continued, and passenger finally
peered around until he located the cat in
her basket.
MADAM. are you taking that cat from
one county to anothe-!" he asked.
''What cat I" she snapped.
Don't you know that under the laws OF
this State" he went on, "a person who re-
moves full-grown cat from one county TO
another without the written permission of
the Swamp Land Commissioners is liable to
a fine of Sl00l"
Good lands but didn't know that ~
she exclaimed, as she faced around.
"Women don't keep track of the laws as
men do" he said. personally, I'd like to
see you take that cat through to Detroit,
but there may be some one on this train
just mean enough to inform against you
and have you arrested. I'd let her out if |
were you"
'Yes, will, for | don't want to break
any laws at my age"
She fumbled around the basket for a
minute, and all of sudden the cat jumped
out. She alighted on the head of the man
who put up the job, gave HIM several sharp
digs, and then leaped from one to another
like squirrel, biting, splitting and clawing
as she went. Everybody rose up and yelled
everybody but the old woman. She sat
like a statue, afraid of being suspected.
When the feline had gone the length of the
car she turned to an open window and shot
out like bullet, landing right-side up and
making tracks for barn in a field.
"Who brought that cat aboardl / de-
mand the name Of the person who owned
that cat" shouted a man whose head had
telt her claws until the blood run.
No one answered. Several passengers
looked straight at the old woman, who
stood it for a minute and then lifted up her
basket and called:
''If anybody wants to look among the
dried peaches in this basket for cats ne can
do SO; you needn't all look at me as if
lived In the woods and didn't keep posted
On laxv' -
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
Superstition South of the Equator.

There are three great division of the In
dian family residing in the parts of South
Am,rica which lie south of the equator
but though differing in language customs.
and manners, they all belong to the Aryan
branch, and most probably came across
in Numerous migration from Central Asia
by the Straits of Behring. With regard to
religion, they believe in two gods. The
first is called by some Pillau; by others,
Cuchauciatru, or ''the great god" He is
supposed to bear the human form, but can
make himself invisible. He is the creator
of the world and author of all that is good.
The Indians never assemble to worship
him; he is supposed to be content with the
respect given to him in the heart of every
individual. The other god is ''the spirit
of evil" known as Gualichu; to him every
sacrifice and offering is made to propitiate
his wicked designs. Not only do the
Pampa Indians believe in the immortality
of the soul, but also in the doctrine of me-
tempsychosis; hence when burying their
dead, they always sacrifice over the grave
the favorite horse of the dead man, and
place beneath the tumulus the warriors
arms
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
That Cave


Joseph Ehrmann, of Nevada, thus des-
cribes a cave which he lately entered:
Suddenly" he said, my pick, which |
was carrying over my shoulder, gave a sud-
den cant around, as if somebody had either
pushed or pulled it. In the excitement %
the moment | let 90 % the shovel, an |
could hear it goin' whIz through the air an
about five seconds after | heered somethin'
strikin' bang agin rock. All this time the
pick was draggIn' me on. | reaches round
for my pistol, and the derned pistol, sir,
was stickin' out straight from my side,
an jest KEEP in the sheath by the waist
strap, an it was apullin' me OntOO.n With
great particularly and frequent pauses for
expressions of disbelief, if anybody cared TO
risk any, the miner described his investiga-
ton, to which he gave the following eli
max: 81 comes to the edge Of a deep
ditch, an stralnIn' my eyes down inter it, l
sees five skeletons lyin' at the bottom, an
five picks along side of them An then |
looks across the ditch or chasm, an sees a
wall of rock of dull gray color but sparklin
all over with bits o shinin' things lOOkin'
like iron or steel. An stickIn' dead to this
wall sees my pick an my shovel an then
/ sees through the hull biZiness- Them
skeletons at the bottom of the chasm were
men as held on to their picks an till they
were dragged right over ,he edge Of this
chasm, an either was killed outright by the
fall or was starved to - for there was
no way % gettin' out OF H..
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
Duffy Keeps the Calf.

Recently two of Mr.. Duffy's neighbors
determined to abduct pet calf belonging
to that gentleman, and Mr. Duffy became
aware of their scheme. Therefore he quiet
ly removed the calf from the box-stall in
which it was confined, and in the place of
it introduced a goat of the VIM. gender,
and OF a very vicious disposition. lie also
fixed spring on the door of the stall, that
would cause it to close unless held open,
and he also attached 10 the door a spring
lock that would fasten, and could only be
unfastened from the outside. Then he
went to bed, but not to sleep. 1t was ar
the witching hour of midnight that the two
marauders entered Mr.. Duffy's barn. They
had examined the premises the day before.
and knew exactly where to go. Each of
them carried a dark lantern. They entered
the stall and the door closed behind them.
Everything was still One of them opened
the slide to his lantern. Then there was
elatter of hoofs, and the man with the Ian
tern found himself piled up in a corner,
very much surprised. He thought it was
the queerest calf he ever had met. Then
the other man opened the slide to his Ian
tern u see what the matter was, and the
next instant the breath went out OF him
with yah that made the listening Duf
fly laugh all over. Then all was still again
except the FAINT profanity Of the men, and
finally the man who was hit first recovered
enough to paw around and find his lantern.
1t was extinguished, but he got out a
match and lighted it again. Then he tnrn-
ed the bull's-eye toward the goat, and then
he went into the corner again. The goats
blood then being aroused, he didn't walt
for further lights, but began to butt around
promiscuously, and tine robbers concluded
it was time to get out. But that didn't
prove so easily done. Then they began to
yell for help, and Mr.. Duffy could tell
when the goat hit them, because in
stead of yelling ''HelpI" they cried ''Oh!''
and after he had laughed till his sides ached
he went and let them out on condition that
they wouldn't try to carry off the goat, and
when they stepped out of the barn he
jumped and stamped and yelled that thu
goat was after them, and they screamed
Murder - and ran three miles down tht
road before they stopped for breath. Duffy
still keeps the calf,
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23

aflls; ami after | once had her there I
didn care about letting her 90.
Creation what feeling that was felt
Just as did the day when l took hold of
an eel Sam Jones had in tub-an electric
eel heiieve he called it. They keep it so
as TO have the fun of seeing it give people
shocks
We'll, as l was saying, Rachel was in
my arms, and fancied l was pretty near
Paradise. | thought what nice thing il
would be if could have the right t, have
her there always.
lhere was a chap that was almost al
ways hanging around Rachel. His name
was Thomas Wilder. He and never had
anything to say TO each other: but / hated
INN now, just because he had been with
her so much. So / thought how nice it
would be to cut him out. was nineteen
and my father had nobody but me to leave
his property to; and Rachel was first rate
housekeeper, and would most likely be
willing TO wait year or two for me
Even If hadn't rec cent, and no way to
get one, l should have done the same thing
she was so confounded pretty.
Rachel" SAYS /, ''Ive been hunting
after wife for six months. and l haven't
seen any one 1 liked half Sd well as you.
came to see you tonight on purpose to
ask you if you would marry me-"
That was tremendous story, for I'd
never thought of such a thing till she fell
into my arms; but had read somewhere
that '.All is fair in love and war;" and so
] thought it wouldn't do any harm to coax
her up little.
My gracious how she colored up the
minute | spoke She got up and looked
straight at me for a spell and then said:
''Bless me, Mr.. jenkins, l thought you
knew all the time that | was engaged to
Tom Wilder. Where have you been all
your lifel Why, I'm going to be married
next Sunday and should have been this,
only Tom has cut his foot with an axe and
can't walk -
81 hope to gracious he'll be cripple all
his life !" said |.
The next thing knew, was coming
through our garden gate.
'Father hadn't gone to bed; | believe
he knew | should come home with a flea
in my ear. When l came in, he observed;
''Josiah, when YOU want to visit old folks
another Sunday night, just come to me,
and I'll tell you better place than Deacon
Billings"
turned right around, just as mad as
| fire.
''Gaul darn it, father, won't be laughed
at by anybody I've made tarnal fool of
myself; but if ever get caught In such a
scrape again you may take my head for a
! football. Ill keep away from women af
ter this-see if don't ~
kept my word. | board where there
are as many as twenty women; but always,
when pass their bonnets and shawls In
the entry, turn my head right the other
way, and-keep it therel
Rachel Billings cured me-
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
An Unexpected Bill.

A few DAYS since, well-drrssed couple,
in the prime of life, stopped at a hotel in
neighboring town, and sending for aJustice
of the Peace, informed that functionary
that they wished to be married The JUS
tice said. "All right and inquired their
names. After being told, it struck him
that he had performed the same service for
the lady some years before. Upon inqulr-
ing if such was not the case, the lady said
that she had been married previously.
s.Have you a bill from your former hus-
bandln asked Mr.. Justice.
ssYes.n she replied, 81 have bill
This being satisfactory. the ceremony
was performed, and the couple were de-
clared s.man aud wife" As they were
about departing, the Justice, who had
never seen a ''bill of divorce and having
a strong desire to behold the document,
tboucht this an excellent opportunity to
satisfy mis- curiosity. He therefore said to
the lady,
slave you the bill with you?'
"Oh yes" she replied.
sHave you any objections to allowing
me too see the bill 7" said our friend.
"None whatever" she replied; STEP
n,ng to the door, and calling to little boy
some three or four years of age, she said--
..Here, Bill, come here quick, here is
gentleman that wishes to she you" The
gentleman wilted.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
Snags' Corners.

The officials of Michigan railroad now
being extended were waited upon the other
day by a person from the pine woods and
sand hills who announced himself as Mr..
Snags, and who wanted to know if it could
be possible that the proposed line was not
to come any nearer than three miles to the
hamlet named in his honor.
"Is Snags' Corners place of much i'm
portance ~ asked the President.
..Is il? Well, ] should say it was, We
made over a tor of maple sugar there last
spring!"
aDoes business flourish theref"
'sFlourish Why, business is on the
gallop there every minute in the whole
twenty-four hours. We had three false
alarms of fire there IN one week. How's
that for a town which is to be left three
miles off your railroad?"
Being asked to give the names of the
business houses he scratched his head for
awhile and then replied:
"Well, there's me, to start on. run a
big store, own eight yoke of oxen, and shall
soon have dam and a saw-mill. Then
there's blacksmith shop, postofiice, a
doctor. and last week over a half dozen
patent-right men passed through there. In
one brief year we've increased from
sGuatter and two dogs to our present stand
ing, and we'll have a lawyer there before
long,
ssrm afraid we won't be able to come
any nearer the Csxners than the present sur
vey, finally remarked the President.
You won't, 1t can't be possible that
you mean to skip growing place like
Snags' Cornersl"
Il think We'll have to-
"Wouldn't come if I'd clear you out a
place in the store for a ticket Officer"
Il don't see how we could
May be I'd subscribe S25," continued
the delegate.
'.No, we cannot change
Cant do it nohow?'
mo"
"Very well," said Mr.. Snags as he put
ON his hat IF this ere railroad thinks it
can stunt or cripple Snags' Corners py leav-
ing it out in the cold it has made big mis-
take. Before leave town to-day IN going
to buy windmill and a melodeon, and
your old locomotives may toot and be
hanged sir-toot and be hanged J"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23

Two remarkable examples are on record
of persons who allowed themselves to be
hung for the entertainment of an audience
An account of one of them is given in the
Lancet of April II, 1S47. The mans real
name was John Harnshaw, but he perform
ed throughout England under the high
sounding professional title of Monsieur
Gouffe. He was an athlete, and among
other feats it was customary with him to
exhibit the process of hanging. In this per-
formance he relied for security on the
strength of the muscles of the neck and
throat. He had rope with fixed knot
which could not slip, and passed both ends
of the loop up behind one ear. The whole
act was so adroitly managed that he pre-
vented any pressure of the rope on the
windpipe or the jugular veins and could
even sustain weight of $50 pounds in ad-
dition to that of his own body. On three
separate occasions Harnshaw mismanaged
the rope, and became unconscious, being
luckily rescued each time. DR.. ChOwne
who writes the account says very truly: 1t
cannot be doubted that as far as sensation
and consciousness are concerned, Harnshaw
passed through the whole ordeal of dying;
and, had he been permitted to remain hang
ing until actually dead, he would have
passed out of existence without further con-
sciousness. NoA this man stated, not
with particular reference to either accident,
but as common to all, that the could hard
ly recolleot anything that happened to him
in the rope, ~ that ''he lost his senses all at
once; the instant the rope got in the wrong
place he felt as if he could not get his
breath-as if some great weight were at his
feet; could not move only to draw himself
up; felt as if he wanted to loosen him.
self, but never thought of his hands " And
he added; ''You cannot move your arms
or legs to save yourself; you cannot raise
your arms; you cannot think" He did
not see sparks or light, but had in his ear:
q rattling sound.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
Just Like n Woman"

1t is now over one hundred years since al
American philosopher proponded the
query: ''Why is woman afraid of {
cow?" and yet no one has ever succeeded
in giving a satisfactory answer. There i:
once in while a woman who doesn't seen
to have the slightest fear, even when pass
ing a COW with one horn all twisted out oi
shape; but follow that woman home and
you will find that she kicks the dog, cuffs
the children, jaws her husband and knows
how to sharpen a butcher-knlfe and use an
AK. The real woman has a mertal terror
of cows, and the real COW seems to have an
antipathy for her.
Recently lady was walking down Cass
avenue, Detroit, when she suddenly came
upon a COW. The animal was feeding on
the other side of the street and the boy
sent out to watch her sat under shade tree
and played on mouth-organ.
The lady halted.
The COW looked up.
''Lost anything, ma am 2" asked the boy
as he removed the music from his mouth.
'I-Tm afraid of that cowln she re-
Piled.
''What fur? Cows don't bite or kick,
same as horse All they kin do is to run
their horns through you and pin you to the
grounf.'
''Oh ! my-she'S coming,"
'.No, she hain't. She's Just making be-
lieve that she wants to git at We and hook
We over the fence"
''Oh! but l dare not passi"
''Ies, you dare. Cows know when a
woman is afraid just as quick as anybody.
The mint you give cows to understand that
you are able to catch 'em by the heels and
mop the ground with 'em they go to hunt
ing fur clover"
Dear me, but guess I'll go back"
81 wouldn't if you only spit on yer
hands and shake yer fist at her she'll wilt
right down. Cows knows who's boss Just
as well as men do. Now, then, I'll hold
yer parasol while you spit on yer hands"
''Oh. | can't-rm going right home,'
: well, my little brother he swears at 'em
instead of splitting on his hands. See if
you can do that"
''No-no-no! Pm going nowi"
''If was woman and conldn't swear
or spit on my hands, l should carry a
sNOTu-Cdnc 10 slaD COWS Win, observer
the boy as he looked across the way.
my soul. but there's another COW up
there!" exclaimed the lady as she looked
up the street.
''Yes, lots of cows around these days,
but | never heard of two cows attacking a
woman at once, guess one generally hooks
'em all to pieces first, and then the other
comes up and paws at the mangled remains.
If you"
The lady uttered first class scream and
made jump for the nearest gate. 1t open
ed hard, and after one pull she went over
the fence and up the front steps of a strange
house, there to remain until her husband
could be summoned by telephone to come
and act as a body guard.
''pd just like to be a woman" unused
the boy as he sat down to punish his mouth
organ some more. I'd carry bowie knife
down the back of my neck, and the first
COW that tried TO hook me would feel that
ere knife playing mumblety peg around her
vicious heart-strings.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-06-23
There Might Have Been.

A man in want of a load of wood visited
one Of the markets to make a choice. Find
ing load that suited, he asked the owner
if there was a cord on the wagon.
81 think there is, was the reply.
''Do you know that there isln
"My son William loaded it up, and he
said there was cord"
well, what do you say7" asked the
citizen.
"And my other son, John, helped Will
lam load it up, and he said there was
cord"
do you say so?"
Sand my neighbor came along, and he
said there was a cord"
Il don't believe there is"
'And my wife stood at the gate as
came away, and sic said there was cord, y
continued the farmer.
"There may be three-quarters, said the
citizen.
"And as came through the toll gate the
keeper said he'd eat it If there wasn't a
cord and half"
''He didl"
'And the policeman stopped me, and
wanted to know how much asked for that
cord and three quarters of beautiful WOOD" F."
The citizen took it before the load could
swell any more,