Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1880-11-18

Catching a burglar.
Brooklyn Eagle.l

Brooklyn Eagle.l
| s'Say, my dear" calculated Mr.
Spoopendyke, string bolt upright In
bed with sudden jerk-.'say. my dear
wake upl l hear burglars in the
house."
"Who? what burglarsf" demanded
beside her husband. @Who's In the
honse ?o
.sHush! Quiet, will vel don't know
which burglar, but I hear some one
| moving around"
"Ohi myl What. shall we do" IN
quired Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Let's cover
up our heads"
"Why don't you get up and light the
gas2" propounded Mr.. Spoopendyke in
hoarse whisper. ssS'pose you can see
who it is In the darkf Strike q light,
can't yer If you had your way we'd
| light up before we're killede''
"pm afraid" whispered Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, sticking one foot out of bed
and hauling it in as If she had caught a
| fish with it.
''Going to sit there like shot-tower
and have our throats eutr" interrogated
Mr.. SpoOpendyke. "How'm going to
find a burglar without lights Find a
match and light that measly gas, now,
quick"
Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled out of
bed and hunted around for skirt,
aWhat's the matter with you? Can't
you find a match? Why don't you
mover" hissed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
81 am as fast as L can," replied his
wife, her teeth chattering. ''I'm look
ing for a pin."
"Oh, you're moving like railroad,
amt ye! never saw anything fly like
you do. All you want Is to be done up
in white aud blue papers to be sedlitz
powder. What dye want of a pint
Going to stick pin In the burglar !?
Why don't you light the gasp"
Mrs. Spoopendyke broke half a dozen
matches, and finally got light.
s'That's something like it." continued
Mr.. Spoopendyke. Snow, hand me my
pantaloons."
"You won't go down where they are,
| will your" anxiously inquired Mrs.
| SpOOpendyke, handing over the gar
| ment.
Mr.. Spoopendyke vouchsafed no reply
| but donned the habiliments.
snow, open the door, said he, "and
go to the head OF the stairs and ask
who's there, while l find my stick.
Hurry up, or they'll get away" @
sSuppose they are there. What'll l
do then?"
eTell 'em I'm coming. Go ask 'em,
will ye? What's the matter with you!'
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the door
about an inch, squealed "Who's theres"
slammed the door again and popped
into bed.
"what ails yer' demanded the hus-
band. "What dye think you are, any
way, a conical shot? Get up, can't We,
and look out. Where's my big stick ?
What have you done with it? Sent 1t
to school, haven't ye? Go out and ask
who's there, will We before they come
up,and slaughter u.s."
Once more Mrs. SpoopendYke ap-
preached the door and tremulously de-
manded what was going oD-there was
no response, to her incalculable relief,
and she went to the head of the stairs.
"Seen anybody" whispered Mr..
Spoopendyke, looking over her shoul-
der.
"who's there!" squealed Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke. "Go right away, because my
husband is here"
"Oh, you've done it," exclaimed Mr..
Spoopendyke, as he hauled her back in
to the room. SNOW, how dye s'pOse
Pm going to catch 'em9 What do you
want to scare 'em away for? What'd
you say anything about me for! Think
this is nominating convention? What
made you leave the house open9 Come
on down with me, and I'll show you
how to lock up"
Down they went, and careful scru-
tiny demonstrated that everything was
fast.
81 don't believe there was anybody
there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, as they
returned to their chamber.
SIT wasn't your fault" retorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. "If you'd got up when
l told you and kept your mouth shut,
we'd have got en-"
"But you said for me-"
"Didn't' say anything of the sOrtp'
howled Mr.. poopendyke--s'never men,
toned your name. We might have
been killed, the way you went to
work."
"I think we'd caught them if they'd
been there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke e,
taxing uoWu her hair anu PioooouinS w
put it up again.
"Oh, you'd caught 'em!" sneered Mr..
Spoopendyke. "All you want is some
chloride of lime and your accounts
short to be a penitentiary. Another
time burglar. gets in the house you
stay abed, and don't you wake me up
again. 1 won't have any dod gasted
woman routing me out this time OF
night, you hear"
Eyes, DEAR" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
rvo,nd bar hand in tho collar nf her