The Orangeburg democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1879-1881, 1880-06-25
Proposals Of Marriage,

There are certain subjects about
which both men and women seem to
think themselves privileged to be un.
truthful, and they are not slow to
exercise the privilege. One Of the
subjects with men is business, and
what belongs to it, such as capital,
credit, profits. The topic that women
are most prone to exercise their fan
cy on, Irrespective of any basis Of
fact, is proposals Of marriage, which
they may regard 40 tbet business,
since, unhappilr, most women, when
young, have no other business worthy
the name. Their highest intelligence,
their greatest energy, their best
thought. is devoted to wedlock. They
are taught to believe that wedlock is
their destiny, and it must, be conced-
ed that, as rule, they take no pains
to counteract it. Naturally, they
want to make the best match they
can. They hope TO love their hus-
band; but they wish, very reasona.
bly,, to have something besides their
heart TO support love.
Marriage is to them en- ideal state,
husband en- ideal creature, until they
have been attained. They think that
they can secure the most desirable
husbands by making themselves ap-
pear in actiye demand, which connu-
bially not less thai commercially, en-
hances the price of the thing in the
market. Every time that they have
an offer, and the offer is made known,
their chances for marital prize are
bettered, and every womfln, whatever
her lack Of endowmep, has at least q
latent hope of winning prize. II
they do not have as many offers as
they believe they ought to have, why
should they not imagine or invent
some! This is the suggestion Of their
vanity-the most dangerous tempter
to woman-and the suggestion ONCE
made cannot be forgotten. 1t is like
ly that the suggestion may not come
in so definite shape. The wish to
be sought as wife being SO strong
in the femiaine breast, may it not be-
come the father Of the belief? May
not women deceive themselves into
thinking tha. men have proposed who
have never dreamed Of proposing?
May they not see what they want to
see May they not hear what they
want to hear? -
Ihls is true of some women, proba-
bly,, but the mass of them undoubted-
ly stretch their conscieaee and the
truth when they speak of their offers.
The fact that any woman will or can
make such q revelation, except under
most extraordinary ou instances, ID
sufficient ground to discredit her.
She who has the largest number of
offers is apt to be che who is absolute
ly silent OH that point. Men, how
ever foolish in matters matrimonial
ard they are as foolish as their worst
enemy could ask-show degree of
discretion in committing themselves
to women manifestlyly without re-
serve. Still, it is surprising and pain
full to think how many women of the
better sort, women ordinarily pos
sessed Of delicacy, reinment and
trustworthinoss, will deliberately fal.
sify concerning the conduct of men
they are Or have been on terms with.
Apart from qualification to their vani-
ty, they may have feeling of anger
toward men who, in their Judgment,
should have proposed, and have not.
They may revenge themselvhs on the
stupid or perverse fellows for their
failure to do the proper thing Ivy
misreporting them. If they would
have accepted m offer, had it been
made, they may be, from law of
their sex, inappeasahly inimical to-
ward the non-makers.
BE the cause Of motive what it
may, the fact remains that no man
can have any kind Of associations with
the other eek without fgurieg some
time as defeated candidate Tor mat
rimony. Indeed, there is no way of
escape for him. He will be put in
the position of refused lover in al
most any circumstance. Men are Of
ten declared TO have been rejected by
women with whom they have never
been alone for half minute. Proba-
Oily tnere mas never Oeen an anchor
ite whom rumor has not sometime
tilted. The feminine world is unwili-
ing TO believe, it cannot be persuad-
ed, that any masculine being averse
to marriage on principle ever has ex-
listed or ever will exist. And TO sus-
tain their favorite theory, as we'll as
to m"gnify their cannubial value,
women have recourse to invented pro.
posals. These inventions are very
apt to I've accepted as truth, for there
is no improbability in any man want
ing to marry any woman ; and then
the woman would not, it is common
ly beld, tell such falsehood on any
account. The mere circumstance of
her telling it gives it weight, for it is
SO unmaidenly, 80 indelicate thing
to do, that she would not and cou Id