The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-09-16


He was a precocious boy. He never
stood on ceremony TO ask questions
and to give little delectable history of
matters that came under his observa-
ton. a visit to a neighbor was ever
the occasion of his spOuting the un-
written annals of the paternal home
stead, and of INDUCING in pertinent
queries.
81 say, mister, you aIn't got as purity
a house as pap"
"Well, no, Johnny, L believe not
"Pap's got countY-house, too"
ga county-house, bub ?"
ny s, sir, cause l heard IN say to ma
that if she kept a putting on SIGH
alfred style that we'd have 10 go to the
county-house. Guess ma will be glad
to go. Heaps of style there, suppose,
and she'll have to powder and primp
and paint her face TO hide the yaller,
like the other women folks bout there.
L am going to get me little pony and
a whip with whistle and "a"
"Whist Johnny, you're little fool"
"No l amt. I'm real mad with you
now, and if l were rs big as pap I'd
tear everything round here out of
shape, like he does at home when ma
calls him ugly names. You're whist
ling, mister, do know something"
"What are them things for?"
"They're pads, sonny, for keeping
the collar from hurting that horses
breast"
''I guess sis dress hurts bad; she
wears two of them pads"
"Do you like hash ?"
"Well, my boy, that depends on the
quality of it,"
GLOW would breeches hash go down
with your"
"Why, child, what are you talking
about? They don't make that kind of
hash"
"They don't, Ell! Ma made hash for
breakfast, and pa harpooned a button
and suspender buckle in it. He was as
mad as ,scalded cat. You better not
let Jim hear you say that they don't
make breeches hash at the county
house. Our Polly has beau"
''She has, has she? ?"
"Yes, sir. He's regular spoOny on
her, too. He's nobby, tell you-wears
piles OF jew'lry. Sis boxes my ears,
bein' as 1 don't talk polite afore i'm.
She waits till he's gone to talk slang.
She's got to let up on punching my
head"
Slang is ugly, Johnny"
"You're shouting, and Polly is just
powerful ont. Pap don't like her fell
Ter; he says he smells like a consign-
ment of perfoomery. That's what pap
calls it. He thinks he's smart. Polly
thinks he is cause he's spouting bout
balls, fashions, style and a whole lot of
other fool stuff. Did you buy that dug
out?"
eyes, Johnny"
"We've got an old dugout better than
that in the barn for the hens TO lay in.
Who made your shirtP"
''My wife,"
''Pap put on a clean shirt, the last
he's had, near a month ago, the day
Polly's fellar was due. twas burned
all over from the iron. He was raging
mad, was pap; he said it looked as If it
had been cantered over a corduroy road
through prairie fire. faint style TO
be able to make up shirts or wash. or
to cut the buttons out afore making
brooches hash. l 'spect it amt"
"Maybe not, bub."
"Can you writer"
GA little, Johnny"
"Brother packs a bOok-a diary, he
calls it--with a pencil peeping out of it
enough to be seen plain, and you
couldn't tell the crooks and crosses he
makes from the Chinese alphabet Hol
doggy, doggy, dogl Got fleas on i'm ?''
"I dunno, child"
GIVE just got loads of 'em on me,
and sis has, and brother, and pap and
ma, too. Pap says fleas come darned
near perpetual motion. You mustn't
hint at fleas to sis when you see her /;
she'd skin me If she found out I'd said
f1eas to YOU"
81 won't say a word about them"
"You can come out strong on bed
bugs, though; we don't board many Of
them. l like you, mister; yes, dor
"You do ?-Im glad"
"Indeed and indeed l do, ma says
you're nothing but a regular old fash
Toned scarecrow without any style, and
your wife a gawky dowdy, only ft for
a potwallOpper."
"Johnny, you must be mistaken, your
ma is too much of lady to say such
naughty things of any person."
"Shucks! Amt ladies got any more
privileges than common folks, mister
You bet your bottom dollar they have.
Can't see much with a glass eye, can
you?"
''Not much"
'"Twould make a bully marble, /
'spect."
III dunno, sonny"
"Aunt Barbara has Il real shiny one (;
none knows it but our folks. She says
ii 1 tell no one she'll gimme it when
she's married. If she don't I'll hook IL
when's asleep"
Your sister is calling you, Johnny"
"That darned drug store again, bet (;
freckle wash this time, sure. Mister,
won't you go to the county-house 20 see
US all, We'll be going there soon?
Whoopm