Connecticut western news., 1880-01-28
"Sockery" Sets out to Set a Hen.

Meester Verris-I see dot mosd effer- poty wrides someding for de shicken papers nowtays, and I fought praps meppe I can do dot too, so I wride all apout vot dock place init me lasht sum- mer you know-oder uf you dond know, den dells you--dot Katrina (dot is mine vrow) und me, ve keep some shick- ems for long dime ago, ..und von tay she salt to me Sockery" (dot is mein name), "vy dond you put some of de a1gs under dot olt blue hen shickens, dinks she wants to sate." "VelI,' I salt, meppe I guess I will, " so I picked o ut some uf de best aigs und dock um oud do de parn fere de olt hen make her nesht in de side uf de haymow, poud five six veet up now you see I nefer was ferry pig up und town, but I vos booty pig all de way around in de mittle, so I koodn't reach up dill I vent und got barrel do stant on; veil I klimet me on de barrel, und ven my he'd rise up by be nesht, dot olt hen she gif me such a biek dot my nose runs all ofer my face init blood, und ven todge pack dot blasted olt barrel he preak, und I vent town kershlam py cholly, didn't tink kood go insite 8 barrel be- fore. put dere vos, und I fit so dite ,Iot l koodn't get me oud efferway, my fest (vest) vas pushed way up unter my arm holes. Ven fount I vos dite shtuck, I holler "Katrina 1 Katrina P und ven she koom and see me shtuck in de barrel up to my armholes, init my face all blood and aigs, py cholly, she shust lait town on de hay und laft und laft, till l got 80 mat salt, "Vot you lay dere und laf like olt wool, eh ? " dond you koom bull me oud ?" und she set up und salt, Oh, wipe off your chin, und bull your fest town ;" den she lait back und laft like she wood shbilt herself more as ever. Mat as I vas fought to myself, Katrina, she sbeak English booty goot, but l only salt, init my greatest digni- tude. Katrina, will you bull me oud dis barrel ?" und she see dot I look booty red, so she sait, "Of course I will, Sockery," den she lait me und de barrel town on our site, und dock holt de door sill, und Katrina she bull on de barrel, but de first bull she mate I yellet, "Donner und blitzen, shtop dat, by golly dere is nails in de barrel !' you see de nails bent town ven vent in, but ven I koom oud dey schticks in me all de way rount; veil, to make a short shtory long, told Katrina to go und dell naypor Hansman to bring saw und saw me dis barrel off veil, he koom und he like to shblit himself init laf too, but he roll me ofer und saw ,.de barrel all de way around of. und I get up init half barrel around my waist den Katrina she say, "6ockery, vait little till get pattern of dot new oferskirt you haf on," but I didn't salt vort. I shust got nife oud und vittle de hoops off xund shling dot confountet olt barrel in de voot pile.
 Pimeby ven I koom in de house Ka- trina she salt, so soft like, "Sockery, dond you goin to but some aigs under dot olt blue hen?" den I salt, in my deepest voice, "Katrina, uf you effer say dot to mo again I'll git pill from you, help mo chiminy cracious," and I dell you, she didn't say dot any more. Yell, MT. Verris, ven step on barrel now, I dond step on it, I git pox.
 Merry drooly yours,
 SooKERY KADAHCUT.