Litchfield enquirer., 1880-07-01
CLIPPINGS.

l ,Z CLIPPINGS
 The mule always put his best foot back l ward. IL ;. I A Groton man has a ram that helps itself t, apples by putting the trees.
 The society lady never sheds tears She knows enough to keep her powder dry.
 A singing fish has been discovered. It hal chromatics scales. -@
 The most fatal grapesh0t comes from tn, Dottle. t-nga' t. are-G. s.e~.gFk'
 A correspondent wishes to know if the 'Iay on Macduff" was one of Shakespear'! earlier poems.
 . What surpassed Noah more than aught else was that he received no application for free passes.
 I Hymen is always represented as bearing a torch, as if to make it warm for people who marry.
 A lady nowadays doesn't mind having hel age recorded in the family Bible. It is al | most sure to remain secret
 l 'Vic's Chicks'' is the way Leopold and Princess Louise saw themselves mentioned 1 the Chicago Times head lines. r~ . TT They had to put off the dedication of g 1 new church at Leadville for week, because the fireworks ordered for the occasion failed 1 to arrive. - . -- | ''Now tell me eandidly, are you guilty ?' asked lawyer of his client. "Why, do you suppose I'd be fool enough to hire you if I was | innocentI" re A Boston theatrical company recently play. o1 O 1oid in oh tl, many of the audience it seemed SO real that they went to sleep.
 Death" says MT. Talmage, sententionsly, ''never takes bribe.' That is probably the reason why so many good Congressmen uie young. '----
 A New Jersey woman cut her husbands throat because he wouldn't move to the West People will hardly blame the woman for want ing to get away from New Jersey. Teacher: "Feminine of friar ?" First bright boy: "Hasn't any," Teacher: "Next." Sec ond bright boy; Nun" Teacher: That 8 right" First bright boy Indignantly ejacu. lates: 'That's just what said"
 Growing Uncertainty.-square: ''Fine nicely" Farmer '"Ees, Squoire, but I hopes so be as it won't raise the rents again"
 A new book just published is entitled "Duevnik Douskaga Kazake," by C.. P. Poolooshkin. We have often wondered why some one didn't write book on that sub- ject.
 It's about an even thing between man and the orange peel. Sometimes the man throws the orange peel into the gutter and sometimes the orange peel throws the:man into the gut ter. s3l$
 The number of ne-armed young men seen driving out with young ladies these summer evenings is truly appalling. An old soldier at our elbow says that one arm is invariably lost during an engagement. s-. grocer-"Now, Johnny, if you father has a barrel of whiskey containing forty gallons and one-fourth of it leaks out, how many gallons does he lose?" Johnny-"He don't lose none. He fills it up again right off"
 I Robinssn (after a long whist bout at the club)-'1t is awfully late, Brown. What will you say to yourwife P Brown Gin whisper) :: 'Oh, shant say much, you know-'Goed morning, dear" or something of that Sort. She'll say the rest" .--- -A-E -A--A-' It is said that the deepest gorge in the world has been discovered in Colorado. We always had the impression that the biggest gorge in this country might be witnessed at a minutes for dinner.
 An old judge of the New York supreme court meeting friend in neighboring vii. lage, exclaimed, ''Why, what are you doing here?" ''Im at work, trying to make an honest living,' was the answer. linen you'll succeed, said the judge, flor you'll have DO competition" .-.s,l An InvidiOus Growl. Lucy-"Who's that grand looking lady talking to Mr. Todeson, papa ?" Papa-"Haven't an idea, my love Never saw her grace in my life !'' Lucy "' Her grace? How can you tell she's a duchess, papa?" Papa (who, perhaps, is not on speaking terms with duchesses) )-"By 1 Todeson's baLk!''
 A London torist met young woman going to the kirk, and, as was not unusual, she was carrying her boots in her hand, trudging along barefoot. My girl" he said, lis it custom. ary for all the people in these parts to go barefooted ?" Partly they do" said the girl, ''and partly they mind their own business"
 Said Angelina, suddenly breaking the op pressive silence, Don't you feel afraid of the army worms. Theodore, that are coming so rapidly this way 2' The question was such a strange one that Thesdore's surprise caused him to look right at Angelina for the first time in his life. Why did she ask that, he wanted to know. ''Oh. nothing, she replied, as she toyed with her fan; ''only the papers say they eat every green thing wherever they go."
 There is great deal of interesting conver satlon going over the telephone wires, if you Haas fh oa1,s sage of fond mother whose cherub had eater a watermelon or so too much, and gentle man who had sent home large redfish fo dinner got mixed.
 First Voice-What shall do about the ba by? g..... .i.
 Second Voice-Scrape all the scalesoff him cut him open and have him dressed nicely for dinner with caper sauce. Aint he swhop per. '4tFfJ S.rf @ -'s ~fftsT'
 Probably there is no public criminal SO bit terly execreated by ali mankind as the drive of street sprinkling wagon. The other day on Market street one of those blots upon ou boasted civilization observed fat old Dutch man standing with his back to the curbston, apparently absorbed h the enjoyment of hi. pipe. The sprinkling fiend sneaked up t within few feet of hiri and deluged his vic tim's feet and pants with Spring Valley. Tn driver almost tainted with rage when the ex ultant chuckles of the bystanders apprise, him that he had simply washed the dust iron cigar store sign.
 A Paris authority on American affairs tell the following truthful story about an advent ure that befell the dancer, Sangalli: t'Once when a manageress of travelling circus il the wilds of Ohio, she was suddenly attacked by 8 band of savage Sioux Indians led by tn I Iredoubtahle Sitting Bull. Everybody fled and all was consternatiou and dispair. man, persons being drowned in the tempestuou waves of the mighty Amazon. Suddenly thi heroine sprang lpon an uusaddled horse, ral lied around her P. T. Barnum and fsy others of her employees and, with revolve in hand, attacked and dispersed the murder ous red devils. Kansas City, rewarded he 4 with commemorative medal, and Col. Buffs | l,l,ill laf ;nut lan .Chas;aan,e ata fR kxrlt s