The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-23
How to Behave at Table.


How to Behave at Table.
Upon taking your seat your first duty
should be to inspect the cutlery If the
knives bear Rogers stamy, for instance,
sound the praise of the Meriden manufac'
turer.
This will cause Others to examine their
knives. They will marvel at your practi'
cal knowledge.
And you will live long in the memory
Of your hostess.
When soup ia served, opportunity will
prisent itself to show your superior attain
ments in gastronomy.
Confidently inform your vis'a-rlS' In
voice sufficiently loud to be heard all
around the table, that Bouilleboi Is the
only person you ever knew who could
make soup fit to eat.
Every eye will be turned toward you in
alteration.
Your hostess will feel sort Of reflected
greatness IN having one so gifted conde-
scend to grace her humble board.
Then blow into your soup as though
YOU we're under contract to furnish motive
power for windmill.
Thus you will show your naughty con-
tempt for conventionalities
For a similar reason, you will eat from
the point of your spoon.
This movement will make you look
like the sward swollower.
Your appearance will be picturesque.
Your elbow will threaten your right
hand neighbor's eye.
In eating fish, whip as big piece as
you can into your mouth, and then pick
out the bones one by one at your leisure.
You will resemble the slight-of-hand
performer pulling ribbons form his mouth
Always eat with your knife, and close
your lips tightly about it when you with
draw it from your mouth.
This will keep your knife clean during
the whole meal.
Cleanliness is next 70 godliness, you
know.
When the meats come an excellent op-
portunity to exhibit your gymnastic at
tainments.
You will make youaself respected, now,
by your left-hand as we'll as your right
hand neighbor.
You can make yourself still more
agreeable by watching your opportunities
in conversation.
When a gentleman has transferred a
forkful of food from his'plate to his mouth
address him suddenly.
It is very snstructive to see a gentlem an
try to talk with mouthfull.
It is very amusing to See a gentleman
half choked in his endeavor to get his
| mouthful of food out of the way that he
may be able to answer you.
OF course you will eat all the while yon
are talking, and talk while you are eat
ing
Thus you will pay delicate eompli-
ment to your hostess cook, show your SO,
cial qualities, and prevent others possibly
from eating more that is good for them.
If pudding is served say it don't agree
with you.
But eat of it just the same, and call fol
more.
And here is an admirable opportunity
to dilate upon the idiosyncrasies of your
digestive apparatus.
The noblest study Of mankink is man.
Ifpudding is not forthcoming, remark
upon the singular idea some people have
that pudding may be omitted from din
ner without running that dinner fer people
who Understand such things.
When the pie comes peep under it Oh
turn it over like griddle cake.
This especially where the lady of thu
the house does her own baking
If the pie is''underdone, it would be th'
right thing to mention the fact.
Ifit is done too brown, say something
appropriate to the occasion.
When lady makes a slip in her cook
ing, she likes to be told of it publicly.
Coffee should be drank from the saucer
as though it were an oyster in its shell.
This gives you a jaunty air.
Ifata private table never pass any
thing to your neghbor.
You may want all there is yourself.
Never hesitate to ask for what you can
not reach.