Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-06
"What is that rustling 2"

"Quick throw them things away
l do believe ysu would deliberately
put on those clothes at such a time
as this yet you know perfectly well
that all authorities agree that woelen
siuffs attract lightning. Oh, dear,
dear. it isn't sufficient that ones life
must be i'll peril from natural causes,
but you must do everything you can
possibly think of to augment the
danger. Oh, don't sing What can
you be thinking of ?"
Nov where's the harm in it 2"
Mortimer, if l have told you once.
| have told you a hundred times, that
singing causes vibrations in the at
mosphere which interrupt the flow of
the electric fluid, and-What on earth
are you opening that door for
"Goedness gracious. woman, is
there u harm i'll that -
"Harm! There's death in it. Any
body that has given this subject any
attention knows that to create a
draught is to invite the lightning.
You haven't half shut it ; shut it
highland do hurry. or we are all
destroyed. Oh, it is u awful thing
to be shut up with a lumatic al such a
time as this. Mortimer, what are
you doing ~,
Nothing. Just turning on the
water. This room is smothering hot
and close. l want to battle my face
aud hands,"
you have certainly parted with
the remnant of your mind! Where
lightning strikes any ether substance
once, it strikes water fifty times. Do
turn it off. Oh, dear, l am sure that
nothing in this world can save us. 1t
does seem to me that-Mortimer,
what was that 2"
cit was a da- it was a picture.
Knocked it down."
"Then you are close to the wall !! l
heard Of such imprudence !
Don't you know that there's no better
conductor for lightning than a wall?
Come away from there! Aud you
came as near an anything to swear
ing, too. Oh. how a you be SO
desperately wicked, and your family
in such peril? Mortimer, did you
order a feather bed, as l asked you
to do ?"
"No. Forgot it,"
"Forgot 1t! 1t may cost you your
life. If you had a feather bed, now,
and could spread it in the middle of
the room and lie on it, you would be
perfectly safe. Come in here-come
quick, before you have a chance to
commit any more frantic indiscre-
tions." --., -- ...
l tried but the little closet would
not hold us both with the door shut
unless we would be coutent to smoth-
er. l gasped, and then forced my way
out. Ny wife called out
Mortimer, something must be
done for your preservation. Give me
that German book that is on the end
of the mantelpiece, and q caudle, but
dsu't light it give me a m%atcha;I will
light it in here. The book has some
directions in it," r.-
l got the book-at cost of a vase
and some other brittle thugs; and
tho madam shut herself up with her
candle | had a moments peace ; then
she called out
"Mortimer, what was that ?"
Nothing but the cat"
"The cat Oh, destruction /! Catch
her, and shut her up in the wash-
stand. Do be quick. love; cats are
full of electricity. 1 just know my
udlE WILL luIu w ulL6 Will ILLS ulOuL >
awful perils." ...
1 heard the muffied sobbings again.
But for that / should not have moved
hand o foot i'll such a wild enter
prise in The dark. t a-
However, l went at my task-sver
chairs and against all sorts of OBJ
structlons, all of them hard ones, too,
and most Of them with sharp edges
aud at last l got kitty cooped up in
the commede, at all expense of over
hundred dollars in broken fur
niture and chips. Then these mufied
words came from the closet.
'It says the safest thing is to stand
a chair in the middle of the room,
Mortimer; and the legs of the chair
must be Insulated, with non-conduc-
tors. That is, you must set the legs
OF the chair Ill glass tumblers. FIT
boom bang smash j.! Oh, hear
that! Do hurry, Mortimer, before
you are struck"
L managed to find and secure the
tumblers, l got the last fsur-broke
all the rest. l insulated the chair
legs, aud called for further instruc-
lions.
Mortimer, it says, 'Wahrend zines
Gewitters entferne man Metallic, vie
z. B., Riuge, Uhren, Schlussel, etc.,
you slch und halle sich auch NIGHT an
solchen Stellen auf, wo viele Metalle
bel einander, liegen, oder nit andern
sind, vie an Her.
den, Oefen, Eisengitturn u. dgl.'
What does that mean, Mortimer?
Does it mean that you must keep
metals about you, or keep them aaUay
from you"
"WelI, l hardly know. 1t appears
to be a little mixed. All German ad-
vice is more or less mixed. How
ever, l think that sentence is mostly |
in the dative case, with a little geni-
tive and a%ccusative sifted in, here
and there, TOR luck ; SO l reckon it
means that you must keep some
about YOU"
eyes, that must be it. 1t stands to
reason that it Is. They are in the ma
ture of lightning-rods, you know.
Put on your freman's helmet, Morti-
; that is mostly metal"
1 got it and put it on-a very heavy
aud clumsy and uncomfortable thing
on q hot night in a close room. Even
my night dress seemed to be more
clothing than l needed.
mortimer, l think your middle
to be protected. Won't you
on your militia saber, please Pr
l complied.
"Now, Mortimer, you ought to have
some way TO protect your feet. Do
put on your spurs."l
l did it in silence, aud kept my
temner "a we'll az I cOuld
"Mortimer, it says: 'Das Gewitter
ist sehr getahrlich, we'll die
Glocke selbst, sewie der durch das
v%eranlasste Lntsug und die
Hebe DIES Thurmes des Blilz anziehen
Mortimer, does that mean
that it is dangerous not to ring the
bells during a thunder Storm"
"Yes, it seems to mean that-if that
is the past %parhciple of the nomina-
case singular, and | reckon it is.
Yes, L think it means that or account
of the height of the church tower ana
the absence OF Luftzug it would be
very dangerous (sehr gefahrlich) not
to ring the bells in lime of a storm :
and, moreover, don't you see, the
very wordlng"-
"Never mind that, Mortimer dent
waste the precious time in talk. Get
the large dinner bell /; it is right there
in the hall. Quick, Mortimer, dear ;
we are almost safe. Oh, dear, l do
believe we are going to be saved, at