Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1880-09-18
PLEASANTRIES.

" l DESS, Sdli u HttiC Do, - '
was here now he'd make lot o folks.
lis awful dusty to-day"
"WHAr have you to remark about my
singing?" asked an irate vocalist.
Nothing" replied the spectator; ut
is not remarkable"
THERE is comfort for spinsters IN
scripture, which tells them that Naomi
was $50 wears old when she married.
The veterans may still hope
81 SAY, jim, if five and a half rods
make "a perch, how many Will make a
pckercl?" "You just tell me, first, If
two hogshcads make pipe, how many
will make a meerschaum 2"
"SooSER or later" says a French
writer, everything is found ont. just
so. A married man, for instance, Is
generally found out later-abOut three
hours latcr-than he should be.
HER mother said the little creature
lived on love but, one month after mar
riage, when the grocery bill came IN. he
saw he had made the greatest oversight of
his life by not ascertaining what that
particular love was for.
WHAT surprised Noah more than aught
else was that he received no application
TOR free passes. And what astonished
the public after the flood was that the
veteran navigator never tried to get up
complimentary benefit for himself.
WHEN clans cheap and beef am dear
lives clans all frew de year;
Sometimes gets big fat coon
eats him up afore it's noon.
when 'taters rot an turnps fail
I'm foced to live on toast and quail;
when corn COOS up an meal am high
Toliye pastry -four try.
A COUNTRY schoolmaster began one
morning the duties of the day with
prayer, as usual, but after prayer he
went up and asked little boy why he
hadn't shut his eyes during prayer,
when the little boy responded, owe are
instructed in the Bible to watch as well
as pray"
BENEATH shady tree they sat,
He held her hand, she held his hat,
held my breath and lay right nat;
They kissed, I saw them do it.
He held that kissing no crime,
She held her head up every time,
held my peace and wrote this rhyme
While they thought one knew it.
A FAMOUS fibber told an extraordinary
story, which, strange enough, CHANGED
to he true. at is so extraordinary,
said little listener, THAT, if did not
know it to be true. 1 should believe it
false "Ah," said the narrator, " if it
had been false, should have told it in
a much more truthful manner than 1
did"
THERE was an elephant that had been
trained to play the piano with its trunk
in a show. One day new piano was
bought for it, but no sooner had the ele-
plant touched the keys than it burst in
To a flood of tears. "What ails you,
Kiouni?" asked its keeper. The poor
beast could only point to the ivory keys.
Alas they were made of the tusks of his
mother.-Iuck.
A LEADvILIE newspaper remarks !:
When they had finished the lunch they
asked the price. The man in attend
ance said: "One piece Of pie so cents
one cup of coffee 25 cents-75 cent?
each" One of the party grumbled a
little about the price. Hereupon the
old man behind the counter straight
ened himself up, folded his arms in a
dignifietl manner and said: "Stranger,
look at me /; do you suppose am stay
ing out here for my health p
A BOY in the wild West, who for the
first time in his life saw military com.
pany out for drill with fife and drum
gave his mother the following account
of the business "a little man blOweG
on his squealin' stick, and big mar
that stood beside him hammered on hi.
thunder-box then the boss man pulled
out big, long knife, and shook it a
the fellers what was standin' up in /:
long row, and they all walked off on TIVE
legs"
KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.