The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-08-19
How He Was Subdued.

1t may be that some of the married
folks who read the Journal will find
a good lesson for a husband and amuse
ment for a wife, in the following humcr'
Gus sketch
"My DEAR" said Mr. Spoopendyke,
feeling up the chimney, "have you seen
my gold collar buttonY
81 saw it the day you bought it," an
swered Mrs. S~poopendyke cheerily, sand
l thought it very pretty. Why do you
ask
"'Cause l have lost the measly thing
responded Mr.. Spoopendyke, running
the broom handle up Tito the cornice
and shaking it as if it were a carpet.
"You don't suppose it is up there, do
you p asked Mrs. Spoopendyke; "wLere
did you leave it
cleft it in my shirt. Where do you
suppose I'd leave tin the hash p and
MI. Spoopendyke tossed over. the things
in his wife's writing desk and looked out
the window after it.
"Where did you leave your shirt p
asked Mrs. s~poopendyke.
"Where did l leave my shirt? Where
do you suppose l left it? Where does a
man generally leave his shirt, Mrs.
Spoopendyke Think l left it in the
ferryboat? Got an idea l left it at
prayer meeting, haven't you? Well, l
didn't. l left 1t of, Mrs. ~Spoopendyke
that's where | left it. l left It off
Hear PIE ~
And Nj. ~Spoopenkyke pulled the
Winter clothing out of the cedar chest
that hadn't been unlocked for months.
"Where is the shirt now = persisted
Mrs. S~poopenkyke.
Where do you suppose 1t is! Where
DO YOU imagine it ISL Ill tell You
where it is Mrs. Spoopenkyke; its gone
to New York as a witness in a land suit.
Idea. Ask a man where his shirt is
You know l haven'c been out Of the
room since | came home last night and
took it of.
And Mr.. Spoondyke sailed down the
stairs and raked the fire cut tie kitchen
range, ont did not find the button.
Maybe YOU lost it on the way home
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke, as her nus
band came up stairs, hot and angry, and
began to pull a stuffed canary to pieces,
to see if the button had got inside.
"Oh yes Very likely | stood up
against a tree and lost i. Then | hid
behind a fence so [ wouldn't see it.
That's the way it is. If l had your
head, Mrs. Spoc pendyke, I'd turn loose
as a razor strap. l don't know any
thing sharper than you are"
And MIR. Spoopenkyke got up in a
chair and clutched a handful Of dust of
the top Of a wardrobe.
st must have fallen OUT unused Mrs.
Sp~oopendyke.
"Oh, it must, en-? 1t Jus have
fallen out Well, l declare, ] never
thought of that. Ny impression was
that it took a buggy and drove out, or a
balloon and hoisted OUT and Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke crawled behind the bureau and
commenced tearing up the carpet.
"And if it fell out it must have been
somewhere near where ne left his shirt.
Now, he always throws his shirt on the
lounge, and the button is under that.
A moments search established the
infallibility Of Mr.. Spoopendyke's logic.
ooh, yes found it, didn't you g
painted Nj. Spoopendyke, as he bumped
his head against the bureau and finally
climbed to a perpendicular. PERHAPS
you'll fix my shirts so that 1t wont fall
cut any more, and maybe you'll have
sense enough to mend that lounge, now
it has made so much trouble. If you
only tended to the house as / do to my
business, there'd never be any difficulty
about losing a collar button"
at wasn't my fault" began Mrs
Spoopendyke.
"Wasn't, Ell? Have you found thai
coal bill you've been looking for since
March p
eyes" g.
"Haye, Ell? Now, where did you put
it2 Where did you find itT
"In your. overcoat pocket"
Nor D,r,.orD ron MUIR nASCr - a