, 1880-09-23
PERSONALS.

The first Democratic gltn sounds suspt-
olousy liko n toy-pstoi.
A brass band composed Of t,S0o meMbors
aeronnded the Emperor Wil,fun ut Herlin tho
other day. Uneasy lies the bead that lls&ons to
a brass band.
The Boston Post calls Gen. Butler ruin.
This Is wrong. A ruin always has Ivy cllnglng
to It, md no Ivy possesses tho nerve to hang
calmly for days At a tiFuo and gazo at Dens faco.
A goat society Is tho ,atest English hobby.
An Earl Is tho Presltlent. md oyory poor nun,
accordtng to tho proqrnm, Is to havo a g,nt.
Tho hiii-postcrs In TINT vicinity hnse 1nr SYM
pathy.
A dispatch to Canada newspaper says
that lIanaan iost twc1vo po,sntas during hts voy-
age to England. We always knew draw-pokcr
was equal to any emergcncy,-eycn q profess
aloANl n0rsU.nn.
"Autumn Is the sadtlest season of the year
to me-" remarks contributor to tho wasto llls-
kot. 80 II in to us just n0w. 4 jackson tMieh.)
paper Bays that tho brnss band OF TINT city will
visit Chicago next weck.
There Is something III Royal blnoi' nfter Nil.
The Primo Ut Wales insists upon paying fur tho
boxos at Tho London thoatrcs used by him, this
bolng tho first authenticated Instance Of u per-
Aon rpftlsing to be Il dpad-hcad.
An editorial In recent lss,te OF the Now
York 'rorfd. hcadcd Tho Order OF tho Gartcr,"
is a fraud. Thoro is nothing now In 1t, and ut
last accounts tho gnrter wns being put OIL In tho
snfno old orlcr.-rRht after tho stocking.
Edison observes IN Ills now Nnrul +imer-
ftaH Artcla: " Thuro Ia q vast g,lIf between tho
most successful laboratory experiment pess!hio
ind the aciunizution 0f TITO results Of the ex-
Pertinent In II commercial sensc." Tsls Is tho
scientific way OF telling tho stockholders to kccp
their shirts OIL.
(1,41t }utr f1.t,H
head. Tho samo thug WIS tried un ell porkins
sorernl years ngo, nntl wton tic plustor hut1 so-
ldned no saia 1t felt us IL tho solt hani OF IL
womnn was pressing bts check. This II tho neur-
est anybody ever got to knowing tho rca1 hard
ncAs OF EMS cheek.
When ynu sec an article III tho editorial
columns Of d paper headctt "Tho Political OUT
ioot." inok al Tho bottom limo, anti II II says
''so!d BY NIL drtQglsts ,ion't reaa 1t. Ti,ere is
such an Item going tho rounds which Is an nsl-
veetFemcnt IT Il patent h.edielne.-NtT Fork
Tribune. better way thhn this r., when you
acc mn nrtien i,eat,cl "Tht l'a1tcni Onttouk, u
to at onco hunt ur ono OIL snEna nthGr subject.
A young nlnG on the West Side, whose st,
Julien wuy Of liylug callsod hs relMtlrcs and
friends great uneaalness, recently experienced
change Of liver during yfs1t to Indiana in
search Of n racct TINT would enable him ia
ttampIc IN tho prId1 OF stl,o other Aa8Spy cltt
brought tutH FAITHFULLY Intimate relatlons with
the doctor. When 1t looked us 1t bis dl>s on
enrth weEo f0w, tho fNmlly suggested TINT |,
minister ho acnt for, but he refused finally
agreeing that Ills old EundAy.sckAol tenchcr
might pay him visit. When thu nd grntietnnu
arrived ho found tho Invalid very weak, but
apparently resigned. After conversiug a few
minutes ou ordinary teptcA, tho rtattor ro.
1naFkod chccrfully. that li(o was but rAco
aftor all. This alluslon to his Iayorat sporl
caused tho dying tnnn to brighten up per.
captibly, aud hg listened engorly for what was te
follow:
"Now," said tho suns!ay -sct,ool toaoheg, "lol
us coEnparc your life With rnce. II you were
In nm important contest. on which gFeat deal
dcpcndcd, ansl towar1 tho clpso yoA wnre Fas
behind aud hah no chauce Ut wfauing, would
you not sttiyo With might md main to attaln the
best post!on you cou'dr'
''Yau mean Il 81! MY ln.nay was bet before
the sturt, und fnunh along about tho fourth
heat that mover coull wint' asked tho patiaut,
evidently warming M to ILLS work.
"Ees; that WIS my idea. fou would thon tro
hard, Ut cuurso, TO b0 sccontl or th1rd."
Mot much. wttllld get my horse dlstauoed
md than uruwu everybody at tho ncKt tnwu Ia
tho circuit By playing him tor second Placo,
aud after requesting hts vIslor to figure up hon
much Maud g., with a record Of e,l0A. wnl
worth II Harus, with record OF a;l8A. brought
$4,000, and untolaing h!a wife 10 toe that uutss
but iovel.gnllcd trotters wcrc attached to tho
hearns. tho dying man uttered u faiut "Whoop'
Iatf