davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Good humor is rightly reckoned h
most valuable aid to happy home iKfa
An equally good and useful faculty is h
sense of humor, or the CAPACITY I'd
have little fun along with the hum
drum cares and works of life. We all
know how it brightens up things gerI-
orally to have lively witty -compaII
ion, who sees the ridiculous points df
things, and can turn an annoyance into
an occasion for laughter. 1t does /
great deal better TO laugh over somb
domestic mlshaps than TO cry or scold
about them. Many homes and lives
are dull because they are allowed t3
become too deeply impressed with the
cares and responsibility Of life to reoog
nlze Its bright and especially its mirthl
iul side. In such a household. good
but dull, the advent Of witty, humor-
Gus friend is like sunshine on Il cloudy
day. While it is always oppressive to
hear persons constantly striving to say
witty or funny things, it is comfortable
seeing what a brightener a little fun is
to make an effort to make some at
home. 1t is we'll to turn off an impa-
tlent question sometimes and to re-
gard it from humorous point instead
of being irritaced by it. "Wife, what is
the reason never can find clean
shirt?" exclaimed good but rather
impatient husband, after looking all
through the wrong drawer His wife
looked at him steadily for moment
half inclined to be provoken; then,
with oomical look she said, Il never
guess oonundrums; | give it up. Then
he laughed, and they both laughed, |
and she went and got his shirt, and he
felt ashamed f himselfand kissed her; |
and then she felt happy, and 50 what |
might have been the occasion for hard |
words and unkind feelings, became |
Just the contrary, all through the little |
vein ofhumor that cropped out to the |
surface, Some people have peculiar
faeulty for giving a humorous turn to |
.hings when they are reproved. 1t
loes just as well oftentimes to laugh |
hings off as toscold them off Laugh |
.er is better than tears. Lei us have a
title more oft at home.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Miss Rehecca W. Bates, of Scituate
harbor, one Of the herqinos Of 1912,
celebrated her 87th anniversary al the
old homestead. Two sisters, Rebecca
and Abigail, daughters Of the light
house keeper at Scituate, played a part
in the revolutionary period as notewor-
thy as that of Barbara Freitchc. The
st4ry, although presented to the public
years ago, is worthy of revival The
lighthouse at the above period was
made the scene of fife and drum VIC
tory oyer an English blockade in Scit-
Hate harhoF. Two American vessels
were coming into the harbap laden with
flour As it was shallow the man=of-
war was afraid to venture and manned
two boats 10 pursue them, They We're
fast gaining on them when seen by Re-
beGca and Abbie Bates when going out
to pick up chips to boil the tea-kettle
for the evening meal The place was
under the protection of the Home
GuardF,' who, not apprehepding any
danger, We're on a forage to a buckle
berry patch. The girls had become IA
miliar with ammunition and military
music. Perceiving the danger, one Ct
the sisters proposed to face the enemy
with guns, but quickly taking in the
fearful odds, had recourse to a strata
gem. They fled to a side of the light
house, SO as to be concealed from the
enemy, and one of them with stentori
an voice called the roll. In an instant
after Rebecca struck up martial air
on fife, and Abbie hammered on the
drum Justify. The music reached the
British, flag was hoisted, and the two
boats wheeled about, and in the act
seaman fell overheard, but was seized
neck and heels and hauled in. The
music also alarmed the absent guards,
who returned in time to raise tumultu-
Gus cheers as the enemy were depart
ing, the ladies playing Yankee Doodle.
These two sisters never married, al
though they had several proposals.
They were very industrious, and
could ply the needle and thread on
any kind Of garment for male or fe-
male. Their family is remarkable for
their longevity. Their father died
when very aged, and their mother 81,
and their paternal grandfather more
than 100 One sister, Mrs. Jane Curtis
is in her Goth year, and another, Mrs.
Hawthorne, in her 10Th. The house
occupied by these two celebrities was
built by their grandfather, 40 years
ago, and is in a wonderful state of pres
ervation. Another maiden lady, Il
friend of the two sisters, had occupied
part of the house for thirty years
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
Doing Up Mems Linen.

\ husband complained that his shirt
bosom and collars were badly done up,
and the case was referred to a knowing
shirt maker, and his answer was well
worthy the attention Of house-keepers:
Yes" said the man. .'the fault is
with your launderer. While doing up
your collars. she stretches them the
wrong way. Damp linen is very pliable
and a good pull viii alter a fourteen
inch into a fifteen inch collar in a
twinkling of an eve. She aught to
stretch crosswise. Then in straighten-
ing out your shirt bosom she makes
another mistake of the same sort. They
also ought to he pulled crosswise insterd
Of lengthwise, particularly in the neigh
borhood of the neck. \ lengthwise pull
viii draw the front Of the neckband
somewhat under the chin, where it was
never ment to go, and ofcourse it spoils
the set of your colIa-. With the front
of your neckband an inch too high, and
your collar an inch too long. you have
a most undesirable combination
The necessary changes were made in
the methods of the laundry, and al
was right with shirts and collars.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

landed aristoeraey, and exrsfficio peers.
In the Austrian aand Hungarian parlial
ments the proportion of ecclesiatics is
considerable, though not sufficient to
Justify any fears Of clerical domination,
But the parliamentary life of the two
German empires is not yet sufficiently
developed to enable contemporaries to
Judge with any certainty Of the dura-
bility or working power of these sen
ates
In fact, of the great powers of the
world possessing free institutions, only
England, America, and France, furnish
data ofsuch importance as to repay a
careful study of their political organiza-
ton from what may be called liberal
conservative point of view; namely,
that of making the best of what is al
ready established, while at the same
time considering how it may be further
improved. Belgium, for instance, has
an excellent working constitution, but
the little kingdom Of Leopold H., which
exists only through the guarantee of
mightier states, can scarcely be said to
afford any instructive example to in
dependent nations.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
Fashion i'm NOah'S Time.

MadruS Missionary Record.
Aprons of grass form to this day the
only clothing of the daughters Of Eve
who are found in district near the
Travancore backwater. The leaves of
certain water plant are cut into
lengths a foot long and tied in such a
fashion that the strings unwoven hang
down in bushy tail behind and pre-
sent the same appearance in front,
reaching nearly to the knees This Is
accounted for by tradition that in for
mer days a ce tain high caste man in
that region had been sowing various
grains and planting vegetables in his
field, but had found out that his daily
work was in some unknown way frus-
trated, for whatever he planted or sow
ed in the day was carefully picked up
and taken when men slept. So he set
q watch, and enc night he saw coming
out of hole hitherto unknown to MIN,
certain beings like men, but naked,
who set to work destroying his hopes
of crop, Pursuing them, he succeed
ed in catching man and woman, and
he was so impressed with shame al
their condition, that he gave the man
his upper cloth, which was hanging on
his shoulder, and made him put it on
but not having one to spare for the
woman, she made herself an apron q
grass, as described.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
Poisoned AtmOsphere.

And poisoned water, having lost their purity aud
become contaminated with the rank efluyium and
noxious soluble products of decaying vegetation,
breed not only malaria in its various forms, but
give rise to disorders of the stomach, liver and
bowels, always of dangerous character. No an
tidote to malarial poison has yet been discovered
WHICH has so sigpGlly demonstrated It's remedial
value as Hostetter's Stomach Bittegs, which breaks
up the worst paroxysms of fever and ague and
bilious remittepts and prevents the first attacks,
or recurrence Of these and kindred malarial dis
orders As stomachio and general tonic as a
recupcrant of vital energy, and as restorative of
bilious regularity, active secretion, and healthy
habit of body, this preparation is unrivalled.
Throughout those portions Of the United States
and in tropical countries where such disorders are
prevalent, It 10 regarded as a standard aRti-ma-
larial speciic
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

the erring man, whose evil passions had
wrought his doom.
And then, when the sun rose again,
and our horses and dog were rested and
refreshed, Rover once more became
our guide. and after three days Of
moderate riding, we joined our COM
rades of the emigrant train, amidst
hearty cheers and cordial expressions of
delight at the happy issue of our wild
ride over the prairies.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

DETECTIVE ROBERT PRINCETON arrest
cd in New York recently, Horace Ho-
ran, alias Little Horace" ON n charge
of grand larceny. Koran is the most
accomplished criminal of his class in
the country, and has been repeatedly
arrested for extensive bank and bond
rohheries, The present charge is that
the prisoner, on June 81, stole 81 800
in money and $56,000 in bonds from
the Middletown Savings Bank, of Mid
dletnMn. Connecticut.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
Vaseline, on Petroleum Jelly

GRAND MEDAL AT THE PHLADELPHIA
EXPOSITION. SILVER MEpAL AT THE PARIS
EXPOSITION, The most valuable family
remedy known for the treatment OF
wounds, burns, sores, cuts, skin diseases.
sun-burp, rheumatism, chilblains, CT
tarrh, hemorrhoids, etc. Also for coughs.
colds sore throat, Group and diphtheria,
etc. 'ed and approved by the leading
phys. rs Of Europe and America. The
toilet articles made from pure VaSe6nc-
such as pomade, cold cream, oamphor
ice and toilet soaps-are superior to any
similar ones. COLGATE 4 Co, Sole Agts.
Try THEM. % and 50 cent sizes of all
our goods. Sold by all druggists.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Homeopathic Family Medicine Cases
and books, giving concise directions for
treating all common ailments, are u
great comfort and a positive saving in
every housahuld Tho best assortment
of all styles and prices is found Mt
Boericke y lafel's Homeopathic Phar-
macy, 80 Clark St., Chicago. Descrip-
tive Price Currents gratis. Business
established in 1885.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Il was troubled for many years witt
Kidney Complaint, Gravel &c: my
blood became thin; | was dull and III
active; could hardly crawl about; wa
ali old worn out man all over; could
get nothing to help me, until | got Hof
Btters, and now am boy again
My blood and kidneys are ali right, anc
/ am as active as man of 80, although
| am -, and | have no doubt it will dc
as well for others Of my age. it !;
worth a trial. Father. Sunday De"
cIrU
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
Sir Fitzrov KeIIv lotn Chiof I,

Sir Fitzroy Kelly, late Chief Barron
OF England, enjoyed for fifteen years 4
professional income of $4,000 Sin
Rounded Palmer reached the uurre.
cedented figure of $150,O00. The top.
most point ever attained by an Eng
llsh physician was Sir Benjamin Bro
dies income of SG5, 600.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
MORNING AND EVENING BY TIRE
SEA
sY JAMES 7. lELps

AZ dawn the feet sire ched miles away.
On ocean plains asl ep-
Trim vessels waiting for the day
To move across tn deep.
30 still the sails, they seemed To be
White lilies growing in the sea-
When evening touch ID the cape's low nm.
And dark fen on The waves.
We only saw prOce. 'iUns dim
OF clouds from 81 tdowy caves.
These we're the glos Is Of buried ships,
Gone down IN one brief hours eclipse.
H1rJer's Maq0z,H,.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
To Accommodate the PmhIic.

The proprietors Of that immensely
popular remedy, Kidney-Wort in recog-
milton of the claims Of the public which
has so literally patronized them, have
prepared liquid preparation Of that
remedy for the special accommodation
of those who from any reason dislike
to prepare it for themselves. 1t is very
concentrated and, as the dose is small,
it is more easily taken by many. 1t has
the same efiectual action in all diseases
Of the kidneys, liver or bowels.-Home
and Farm.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

AT st. Thomas, Canada, there resides
a dog that can tell Sunday from work
days. On Sunday he never banks. plays
or fights with other logs, and regularly
attends the Methodist church. He Is
much respected in the community
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

An officer at fair, Mt Bridgeyille,
Ind, caught a man climbing over the
fences and deliberately killed him with a
nistol
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

That one of the most certain remedies known fol
the cure of Diarrhoa, Cholera Moruus, and al
forms OF Bowel Diseases, is CARRIERS COMPoUNy
EXTRACT OF SMART WEED. y little nutmeg gra-
ted on a teaspoonfuli Of the above medicine, is a
sure cure for Diarrhua
O. NOBLE A co Prnurirturs Erie. Pr
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
JncEson LMich.l Dam palriot.

We learn from Messrs. Moore & Hum
phrey, that St. Jacobs Oil is regarded as
the very best selling liniment ever sold,
and is giving the highest satisfaction.
1t has effected many good cures.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

We know of many cases where women have
had cher home duties greatly lightened by use IF
Philadelphial we advise you to try it and satisfy
yourself Of It's merit.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
Rest Manufactured.

The 10, Is, 50, 60, 65, 10, IS, S. 90 cts, $l.00,
ITO, lis, 1925, l.35, las, l.50 and SLIGO Black
mense.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

The Chicago Ttaes says; Waraer's Safe K Inc,
and Liver Cure is highly endorsed by ministers
judges, physicians, surgeon by men of lterar,
ans scholarly thstinctionj and by individuals in al
the walks of LIFE
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Two Roman Catholic colleges are 10
be established, by direction Of the Pope,
in the island of Malta, under the con
troll Of the Bishop of Algiers. Tiny are
to educate missionaries for africa
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

1t Is estimated that about 100000,
600 900 tons Of sediment are yearly car
ried to the Gulf of Mexico by the Mis-
sissippi river.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

have no more doubt of the beneficial
effects of Warmers Safe Kidney and Liver
Cure than | have that the Genesee river
empties into Lake Ontario.-Ret J. u.
Rankin, d. d., Washington, ID. e.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

The difference between "A barber and
a sculptor as very slight. One curls up
and dyes, and the other makes faces
and busts.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
Saved by Oil.
W ashington Critic.

Mrs. Susanna Asmus, No II Bartlett
street, Baltimore, Md, had for twenty
two years been sufferer from sores and
pains in her limbs, She tried many
remedies without any favorable results.
Happening to hear of st. Jacobs Oil,
she concluded at last to try it. The re-
suit was wonderful. The sore healed,
the pains vanished, and she is now well
again.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Coughs are caused by the ehangcabe weather
Of autumn, and if neglected. are ant to continue
al winter. Ii cured now the lungs will Gain
strength to withstand the severe trial of winter
aud spriug, Pisos Cure is the best remedy. Fifty
cent bottles ..re cold for 25 cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
LIS Action. is Sure and Sale \

The celebrated REMEDY Kidnev-Wor
can now be obtained in the usual DR.,
vegetable form, or in liquid form. it
put III the latter way for the espscia
convenience of those who eanno read
lily prepare it. 1t will he found yer,
concentrated and will act with ,y,aa
ELI cheney in either case. BE sura an,
read the NEW advertisement for partic
ulars.--S0uh and IFea.
Emperor William lately sent by
special messenger as Il present to tn
sultan 100 of the largest trout out ofhi
imperial fishing pond. small tiaA&t ant
eggs also were forwarded 10y the field
Jaeger The sultan in re:un sent tn
emperor twelve Arabian horses.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
IYMaY he WORTH KNOWN

1t matters not the age of sufferers from colds,
coughs, or Group, " DR.. Sellers Cough syrup -
good for all alike Price % cents.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Thousands of ladies to-day cherish
grateful remembrances of the help de-
rived from the use of LYDIA +. PINK
HAM'sVEGETABLE COMPOUND. Itpositive-
ly cures all female complaints. Send to
Mrs. Lydia f. Pinkham, 233 Western
Avenue, Lynn, Mass, for pamphlets.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

"'Tis owe that makes the world go
round 1t also makes the young man
90 round-tc the home Of his girl about
seven nights per week.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

The owner of the London and Brigh-
ton coach is said to be heavily out of
pocket this year.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28
The Positive Cure
Tho PosltlVc NUr6
for all those Painful Complaints and Wenkness'


for all those Painful Complaints and wenkneRscs
socOmnlon to our best female popuintiOn.
II will cure entirely the worst form of Female Com
nlaints all ovarian troubles, Inflammation and Ulccr-
ton, Falling and DisplHccments and the consequent
Spinal Weakn S. and is particularly adapted to tho
Change Of Life.
It will dissolve and expel tumors from the uterus In
an carly stage of development. Tho endencyt can
cerous humo there Is checked very speedily by its use
1t removes faintness, atulency destroys0l craving
for stimuants and relieves weakness OF tho stomach
It cures Bloating, Headaches Nervous Irostration,
General Debility, Sleeplessncss Depression and InGi-
gestion.
That feeling of bearing down, causing patn, weight
and backache is always permanently cured by its use
II will at all times and under all circumstances act in
harmony with the laws that govern the female system
For the cureof Kidney Complaints Of either sex this
Compound is unsurpassed.
LYDIA +. PISEHAM'S VEGETABLE COM.
POUNDS prepared at 23S and 235 Western Avenue,
Lynn, Mass. Price 81 Six bottlesfor s.. Sent by mail
in the form of pills. also in the form OF lozeuges on
receipt Of price, 81 per box for either Mrs Pinkhnm
frseya all letters Of inquiry Send for paDph
let Address above. Mention his Paper.
No family should be without LYDIA Il. fINKHAMS
LIVER PILLS. They constipation, blliousness'
and torpldity OF the liver. % cents per box.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

The contract for digging the Cape
Cod canal has been awarded to A. t..
Fisher, Of NewYork, for s. 600, 600, but
the work will nrnhahlN cost moro
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Theatre goers, club-visitors, late sup
per-takers and patrons Of the horse
railroad owl-trains, should all certainly
have a bottle Of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup
convenient. Gentlemen YOU will need it.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28

Horace Love married his living wife's
sister, at Denman, Ga. and goes to
prisOu for bigamy.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-10-28


On an evening proceeding Thanks
giving, many years ago, two students
left the college, with the most foul in
tent of procuring some of the doctor ;
fine fat chickens that roasted in tree
adjoining the house. When they ar
rived at the spot one ascended the tree
while the other stood with the bag
ready to receive the plumber. 1t so
happened that the doctor himself had
just left his house with the view of Sc
curing the same chickens for his
Thanksgiving dinner The rogue I'M
der the tree hearing some one APP
preaching. Immediately crcpt away
without notifying his companion
among the branches. The doctor came
up silently, and was Immediately salut-
ed from above as follows Are you
ready?" eyes" responded the doctors
assembling his voice as much as posi-,
BILE. The other Immediately laying hi
hands on the old rooster, exclaimed,
Heres old Prex-will you have him?"
"Pass him along" was the reply, and
he was soon in the doctors bag. Here's
Marin Prex," said the all unconscious
student, grabbing fine old hen; will
you have her" " es" again responded
the doctor. Here's son John-will
YOU have him?' Here's daughter Sal
take herr" and 50 on until he had
gone regularly through the doctors
family and chickens.
The old man then walked off in one
direction with the plumber, while the
student, well satisfied with his nights
work came down and strea ed it for
the college. Great was his astonish-
ment to learn from his companion that
he had not got any chickens, and if he
gave them to any one it must have
been to DR.. Mott. Expulsions, fines and
disgrace were uppermOst in their
thoughts until the next forenoon, when
both received polite invitation from
the president, requesting the presence
| of their company to a Thanksgiving
dinner To decline was impossible, so
with hearts full of anxiety for the re-
suit they wended their way to the
house. where they were pleasantly re-
ceived by the old gentleman, and with
a large party, were soon seated around
! the festive board After asking bless
! ing, the doctor rose from his seat, and
taking the carving knife turned with Il
smile to the rogues and said, Young
gentlemen. here's Old Prex and Marin
| Prex. son John and daughter Sal ut
/ the same time touching successfully
/ the respective chickens-''to which will
| YOU be helped?' The modification of
his students may be imagined.