The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1880-05-07
A Mean Trick.

THERE is large and influential class
of people in this world who think they
are falling into obscurity if they are not
imparting advice to their fellow-men.
They know q remedy for everything.
from cold down to the best mode of
electing a President of the United
States. A gentleman of this kind is a
clerk in Market Street store, and no
body who is suffering from anything. no
matter what it is, can come into that
store and getOut again without carrying
off great deal of valuable advice.
A few days ago, a very nice, modest
boy went into that store, and as soon as
the clerk saw him he began to impart
advice.
He exclaimed: "Why, what in the
name of Governor Roberts is the matter
with your ears? When first saw you
come in I thought you were schooner
coming over the bar, wing and wing.
Your ears are spread out like you were
going to fly"
The boy explained that his ears were
quite small, but the fact that he had re-
Gently had his head gone over with a
lawn mower gave them unusual promi-
nence. As soon as his hair grew out
some more his ears would come all
right.
"That's all nonsense" responded the
clerk. "Your ears are not set in the
right angle. Mine were just that way
when l was a boy, but cured myself,
and now you can hardly see them. /
can tell you how TO fix those ears so
they will come all right, but you must
attend to them before they take firm
root, or they never will come out right
again."
"What am I to do with them?' asked
the boy, eagerly, for he knew his ears
were number mines.
"You get bottle of mucilage and
paste them back on your head over
night. Keep that up for few weeks,
and nobody will know you have got any
ears" replied the kind-hearted clerk.
That night the boy began to expert
ment with the mucilage. He put a dab
behind each ear. and held it back to his
head with his hand, but his arm got too
tired. Then he laid his head down on
the pillow, thinking to change over to
the other side after one had become
hard and fast.
Yesterday morning he limped into
the store to report progress. As soon
as the clerk saw him he began exclaim-
inc some more about those ears: "Mer-
ciful heavens! what's the matter with
your ears? They have grown since I
saw you last. You ought to get pair
of sheep-shears and trim them down
some. Now is just the right season to
trim ears. And what makes one of them
hang down on one side like weeping
willow with its back broke?'
The boy explained that he had tried
the mucilage cure, but, going to sleep
over it, when he woke up his ear was
glued to the pillow, so he could not get
it off.
off you had come to me with the
pillow hanging to your ear, could have
given you a remedy that would have
removed the pillow without causing
your ear to hang down that way. Why
didn't you come to me? You know I'm
your friend"
The boy explained that some of the
senior members of the family had helped
him get off the pillow, and the infer
ence was that they had used some
such weapon as bed slat or trunk
strap, hence his limping gait. The boy
also intimated that he and the clerk
would have to meet as strangers hence
forth. The clerk sighed, and. saying
something about "ingratitude'' and
guardian angel" began to whistle
and dust off the showcase Galveston
Mems