The Indianapolis leader. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1879-1890, 1880-04-03
RAISING A FAMILY.

On the Government Of Children.
Having raised family Of SIX children,
submit the following as mainly the result o.
my own observation and experience:
l. Learn togovern yourself, and be always
consistent. Even children know that in
consistency is a sure mark Of error. To gov.
ern easily and well you must show yourself
worthy to govern.
2. Be Just and reasonable in all your own
conduct and invariably keep your word.
8. Give your commands in concise and
clear language. and in q kind but positive
manner, and then always enforce them. BE
careful to avoid giving too many commands,
lest the child become confused and think
obedience impossible. No practice is more
cruel and idle than to give commands
that YOU do not intend To en-
force If you fail to enforce your commands
once in two cases, the child will calculate the
chances of escape, and act accordingly, and
will thus be forced to inflict more than dou-
BILE the amount of punishment, in the aggre-
gate, to produce the same effect. The pun
ishment should be moderate but prompt and
certain.
4. Allow your children reasonable liberty,
according to age and capacity. 1t is impos-
sible at once to mace grown people out Of
children. Let them be as children while they
are children. You should never expect too
much.
5. When you have inflicted punishment
upon your child make friends with it; never
afterward, by word or act, make the slightest
allusion to the difficulty, and never permit
others to do so, Let there be an end OF that
case once and forever The child will not
fail to duly appreciate this delicacy, and the
affacta will he m hon aficial
q. Never speak of your child's faults be-
fore strangers. This practice inhicts q cruel
and unnecessary wound. The child instictive-
| ly knows that such treatment is wanton and
unjust, because it inflicts an extra punish
ment not specified in the original command.
T. Treat all your children with the same
affection, and never compare one with an
other. Such comparisons are most odious,
never fail TO create present ill will, and, if
persisted in, will ultimately produce hatred
between brethren.
8. Never take the property of one child to
give, even temporarily, to another. 1t is
very common, but most unjust practice, TO
take the property of the older children and
give to the younger to quiet them. Such a
practice destroys the confidence of the child
in the justice of the parent, and thus under
mines the very basis Of good government.
If you wish your child to respect the rights
of others, you must begin by respecting it's
rights, and not by abusing your powers. 1t
is better to lot the little fellow cry for that
which is not his, than to violate the correct
principle.
g. Never Jest about virtue or vice before
your children. This most erroneous prac-
tice destroys all Just distinctions by degrad-
ing virtue and elevating vice to the same
level.
TO- Never jest about Furnishing your child
rem. II is rather too delicate a subject for
jest.
IL. Never mention q vicious act or prin-
ciple in the hearing of your children, but to
condemn it. unless, indeed, you wish them to
be dishonest.
~. While you should never permit your
children to argue with you, after you have
made your decisions, you should voluntarily,
on proper occasions, explain the reasons for
them. Children have more reason and judg-
ment than they generally get credit for, and
will obey reasonable commands much more
readily when explained.
13. 1t is better, in some instances, not to
notice fault. This is especially true of the
children in their teens. When the conduct
of the child is generally good, it is much
wiser to pass over an occasional error, and
trust 10 the returning gOOu sense ana anectl0n
of the child. / remember circumstance
related to me by a. friend. A father had
raised family of several daughters, none of
whom had violated his commands since their
early childhood. The utmost affection exist
ed between the father and the children, and
between the sisters. On occasion, and
under peculiar circumstances, one of the
daughters attended party of pleasure with
out her fathers consent. for which she re-
ceived severe reprimand. Shs was at nee
plunged into the greatest distress. 1t was in
vain that her father and sisters did their ut
most to console her. She rested under the
conviction that her father would never again
esteem her as he would his other daughters.
The whole family were most deeply grieved,
and the poor girl did not recover from the
wound for some two or three years. 1t would
have been more wise and merciful to have
passed this single transgression entirely with
out notice.
IA. Teach your children that religion which
you believe to be true.
Is. Train the eldest son and daughter
properly, and the younger children viii fol-
low their example.
l6. In short, do yourself what you would
wish your children to do, and then require
them to do as you do.