davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-06-16
MISCELLANY.
HOW A MARRIED WOMAN GOES TO
SLEEP


There is an article going the rounds EMIT
led, " How Girls go to Sleep" The manner
In which they go to sleep, according to the
article, can't hold candle to the way mar
ried woman goes to sleep. Instead Of think
ing of what she should have attended to be-
fore going to bed she thinks of it afterward
While she is revolving these matters in bel
mind, and while snugly tucked up in bed, tbs
old man is scratching his head in front Of thu
fire and wondering how he viii pay the mex
months rent. Suddenly she rays:
"James, did you lock that door,"
(which door P" says James.
"The cellar door," says she.
"No," says James.
SWELL you'd better go down and lock it
for heard some person in the back yard last
night
Accordingly, James paddles down stairs
and locks the door. About the time James
returns and is going to get into bed, she re-
marks
Did you shut the stair door, ?"
"No." says James.
"Well, IL il lie not shut the cat will get up
into the bed ROOM"
"Let her come up, them" says James III
naturally.
My goodness, no, no." returns his wife,
" she'd suck the baby's breath"
Then James paddles down stairs again and
steps on tack and loses the stair door and
runs the cat and returns to the bed ROOM
Just as he begins to climb into his couch his
wife observes I:
~ forgot to bring water. Suppose you
bring some in the high tin.
And so James, with strong muttering goes
down into the dark kitchen and falls over the
chair, and rasps all the tinware OF the wall in
search of the "big" tin and then jerks the
stair door open and howls:
"Where the deuce are the matches?"
She gives him minute directions where to
fipd the matches, and adds that she would
rather go and get the water herself than have
the neighborhood raised about 1t; after which
James finds the matches, procures the water,
comes up stairs and plunges into bed.
Presently bis wife says:
flames, let's have an understanding about
money matters. Now, next week I've got to
pay"
al don't know what you've got TO pay, and
/ don't care" shouts James, as be lurches
around and jams his face against the wall
call want is Sleep"
s9That's all very well for you," snaps his
wife, as she pulls the covers viciously ; "you
never think of the worry and trouble have.
And there is Araminta, who believe Ia TAX
ing the measles"
Z" Let her take 'em," says James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly, but
about the time James is falling into gentle
dose she punches him In the ribs with her ell
bow and says:
Did YOU hear that scandal about Mrs.
Jones ? I"
"what Mrs. Jones y said James, sleepily.
"Why, Mrs. JONES'"
g Where ?" inquired James
"I Declare" says his wife, "you are get
ting more stupid every day. You know Mrs.
Jones that liveb at No. 81. Well, day before
yesterday, Susan Smith told Mrs. Thompson
that Sam Parker had said that Mr.. Jones had
-'
Here shs pauses and listens. James is
snoring in profound slumber.
And that is the way that some married wo-
men 60 to sleep.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-06-16
Statement Made
UNDER OATH.

To WHOM IT MAY CoNcERE.-In the year 1875 treat
cd with Kendars SPAWN Cure. bone spawn Of seve-
raj months growth, nearly half large hens egg
and completely stopped the lameness and removed the
enlargement. have worked the horse since very
hard. and he has been lame, could
any difference in the size Of the hook joints since
treated him with KendaIps SPAWN cure.
r. A. GAINES.
Enosburrh Falls VT, Feb. rs, 1879.
Sworn and subscribed before this 25th day Of Feb
A. D., 1879.
JOHN @. JENNIE Justice OF the Peace
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-06-16

Said the Arkansas man " respect re-
ligion, but can you fairly expect me to attend
church when there is circus in town de-
manding support s"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-06-16
THE BEST PAPER! TRY It'll!
BEAUTIFULLY ILLUSTRATED.
S5kh YEAR.
The Scientific American.

=, The SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN Is large Fhst-class
Weekly Newspaper Of Sixteen Pages, pfinted in fbr
most beautiful style, prQfsey illustrated si Splendid en-
ssa5s. representing the newest Inventions and the
most recent Advances in the Arts and Sciences inend
ing New and Interesting Facts in Agriculture Hnrsi
culture, the Home Health, Medical Progress Ssrsa
Science, Natural History, Geology, ASTRONOMY Tha
most valuable practical papers. by enBent writer's IN
all departments Of Science will be found ID the scenti
hc American - e1'A
Terms, $500 per year. seO half year, which iaev.a.s
postage Dscount to Agents. Single copies ten cent?
Sold by all NewsdeaIers. Remit BY postal orler ~,
MUM CO, Publishers, 81 Park Row, New YoyF "
PATENTS. M II sc connection With
can, Messrs, MUM Co. Solicitors of America
and Foreign Patents have had "a years experience nd
have the largest establishment In the world
are obtained the best terms. special notice IL
made in the SCIENTIFIC AMERICAN OF All inyensions
Patented through this Agency, with the name and
residence Of the Patentee By the immense
thus given. public attention Is directed to the erit.
Of the new patent and sales introduction often
Iy effected. 80 ~
Any person who has made new discovery or invep,
tion can ascertain free of charge, whether patent ea
probably be obtained. by writing to the unersened
We also send free Hand Book about the Petens
laws Patents Caveats. Trade Marks their costs and
how procured With hints for procuring In in
MUM co., ~ Fark Rev, New York.
Nov. 18th, 1879. - -
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-06-16

Ladies' Cloaks, Coats, and Dresses, cut
and made to order at short notice, at Mrs. NJ.
w. Cooley's. d6tf
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-06-16
From
Rev. P. N. GRANGER,

Presiding Elder Of the st. Adams District.
st. Albans, Vt. Jan. Goth, 1880.
DR.. b. J. Kendall & Co.. Gents:-In reply 10 your
letter viii say that my experience with Kendalps
SPAWN Cure has been satisfactory Indeed Three
or four years ago procured bottle Of your agent and
with it, cured horse Of lameness caused by SPAWN
Last my horse became very lame and turned
him out for FEW weeks when he became better, but
when put him on the road he grew worse, when
discovered that ring-bone forming, procured
bottle cured him that he Is not lame neither the
bunch be found. Respectfully yours.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

pov II p;r.,.. A., ..,,.;u,.., Iii. ,.,;..
OIL t"rda @ oaw ;, a ,hon
oe,eraiIy what we rali tho beatben ,oties y ;,
norent and nnciyilized.
IT, hvend h oasu ana a. eta IAN rne on nus own
s, 49,, I'D vent tn tha s,oms ~ tha son,k Sea
fslaugesrsso was late. Opsred the door and
shnn,ad Ro,rrnna so INV rnor and nnt on ,o "
smI , ,,. ~, w. nn ca,,a an n, I.' v PAM,
door sY' r up tbe hIantst from his had and
and the. =, ,o ,, s ',, 81, I've doa.T ts
lind ,he ~ :. w a ny WIN LII. ,nS H. I, w.
WAS a pair Of crMtches IN my room I TOOK ono
Deceased foi,oweI mes n vos p;ob, beb;ra nv,
tried To- defend mvsai and ,n ppr awov from, him
cot bnck into nv own he'd ~ am and Ion, ~ svc
of them 81 yuck me- nnSer tbo orm, IN cnns.onence
Inst n few Saya work COZ i,,,sn vent ~ the
hon 70 and asked Mrs. wbitnev Tor sometbino n,
thew wouid XIII me II ia NOT true Tint T toot n
cane knife. had no hat or coat. I went bach to
get ready to go to work looked in 10 my bed
Saw native standing and ordered him \" On r.,
work Deceased WAS near the ste,s ,of h;s ro nv ~
and running towards me with a Jack knife in his
hand I ra1, round Tho rose bushes he was close
To- me I turned and shot him Ran ~ or IN stems
before fred saw him run down steps and saw
knife in his hand He WAS 80 close Ind 10 Are to
sae II, NE Ill., n;,', iots a,tnr NV" s W. 70
called ibem ali in In mari da va rort. an went
ont of NV room escept deceased. 1 was sitting
down Inv The table smoking He was angry and
made woS,ions "a II he would NOT on, He fo3t bia
knife ont nd soid he motiors thet no sonlJ emf
mo npen + aid not mil blanket on h;a body I
tbouabt be was Going In murder me Gross e,
am;ned. Have I Been s' in employ Of Mr.. Whitney
little over al, months Haye boen in these Islands
one vear i,st Scntemhor A., not il, tbe habit IF
miy;u, Will ,bese fi;ihart isiaraara WAS af,a;,i
thew were ,n,ning To- Wh;tnav's bouse aon;t
know that asked for cartr;dye went hack to
get my hat and coat, and 20 To my work was
nrepoyed To defend n,yspIf II no attacked me. i
4 T.. II
he'd room. GOT ma far ma Booby Zone of The ma
tiyes) and then saw the deceased coming down
the sfena M knife found Iooked for n dozen
tines The women came TO deceased and one of
them mt his head in her ian. I was cool did not
think 81 sending for MI. Whitncy- y. : - y
M. Bickerton addressed the Jury. uruino that
the Gilbert Island natives were not II bc hciieyrd
and that the prisoner shot the eceaset, being nm
dor ,vau r,nnndod fenr fny b;s o,v, i;fa AM. that
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Bryants. Holmes Longfellow's, Meredith's, Tcnny-
sons and Whtiers Pc ms, Christmas Tide, Iris, The
School Boy, Prince Deukalion, The Kings Secret,
Dorc's Rhine Of the Ancient Mariner, Shakespeare
Characters, Reynard the Fox, Sunshine and Storm,
Paul Lecroixs Famous Art Works. 3vos Isis Unveiled,
Uncle Toms Cabin FAIRY Land Of Science, The Uni.
verse Painters Scupors, Re-, Pleasant Spots Around
Oxford Art in Europe Art and Artists in Connecticut,
Laurel Leaves, French Pictures, Caledonia. Tropical
Nature, In the Sky Garden Pearl Fountain Fern Para
disc, Beautiful Snow, Landscape in Am Poetry, Shep
herd Lady, The Sea. Recoections of Writers, Half
Hours in Natural History, Green's History of English
People, Wcisses Origin Progress and Destiny of the
English Language and Literature, Geikes Life and
History of England, Haydn's Dictionary of Dates
Guizot's History Of Civilization, Khedive's Egypt
Egypt to Palestine, Hand Book of Legendary Art
Skctchng from Nature, Hand Books in Water Color
Scpia and Neutral Tint, Ceramic Art. Parks and Gar
dens of Paris Literary Boquet Roses and Holly Library
of British Poets, 3vols Plymouth Collection OF Hymns
and Tunes, Bibles, Shakes peare's Works. Taylors
Goethes Faust. Lubke's Art, vols. American Homes
American Painters, Boys Frossart. hollands Works,
Gibbons Rome, Children of the Village, Ingoldsby
Legends, Hallam's Works Maple Leaves Farrnrs Life
of Christ, Life of ST. Paul. Knights Shakespeare royal
quaro edition, vols Light OF Asia, Print Collector,
Knights History of England. Tyrol and Skirts Of the
Alps, Tennyson's Songs, with Music. Thorwaldsen' s
Life and works, Shakspeare's Gems. birthday Books,
Memoirs of Napoleon. and Mad. de Remusat, Brazil,
rus Little Folks in Feathers and Fur, together with
variety of latest books by favorte authors and many
other works Of vnious kinds-rhe Line of Children =
Books is very full and fail to satisfy all tastes
Caldecot and Linen Toy Books in variety. Childrens
Bibles, Family Bibles.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

We received latter foreign news by the city
of Nem York than we had already received by the
Ella from the coast.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

give the Interior department every credit for their
endeavors to abate the nuisance but seriously
consider that they are acting in wrong direction
Decsying vegetable and animal refuse In not n
suitable fou daion for an esplanade, and though
II be covered over as speedily as possible with dry
earth, the noxious gases will I've produced and viii
find their way into the surrounding atmosphere
Sulphuretted Hydrogen is not q pleasant or
healthful element to nose or lungs, and its pres
ence is always provocative of Zymotic disease.
The refuse collected by the Board of Health carts
should be otherwise disposed Of. Could IL not be
towed out in barges and discharged outside the
reefp
Two gold-headed canes, of Honolulu manufac-
people OF s c En ths M q 'fe
Hopper, the former assistant in the San Fran
cisco Post-oihce, the latter in the Post-ofc
Kindness in stamping short-paid letters TO the Ha-
waian Islands. The canes were made by Mr..
ierrck, and tho engraving on the heads was done
by Messrs. Brogiic and Spear. The design was a
neat one and well executed On the top OF the one
intended for MIR. Dougherty was engraved the fol-
lowing; NV. G. Dongherty, 1880. From residents
gold head WAS set tasteful design of two cent
sssR% gP, = postage ana Anoys the words
Dougherty."
a most barbarous mutation of the young trees
IN Thomas Square has been recently effected un-
der the idea apparently that they needed pruning
and trimming These are operations that require
some knowledge and jugdment; the relative size
OF the trees, the prevalent direction of the wind
the prospect of future planting or transplanting
should be taken into consideration In this Instance
not only are trees to be, trimmed, and the
boughs to be Topped have been selected without
the least discrimination. but the cutting has been
accomplished in the most wantonly careless man
ner Many of the young trees are absolutely ruin
end, and scarcely tree in the Square is uninjured.
The method adopted seems to have been to chop
with blunt hntchet half through branch, and
then 10 tear IL OH leaving long strip of the trunk
dcnuded of its bark. To make matters worse n
fire for burning the brush has been lighted inside
the enclosure, thus precluding any possibility of
vegetation on the scorched ground for some time
to come.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

There will be thanksgiving praise service in
the Fort Street Church tomorrow evening" to
which all who would be pleased to come are invi-
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

We have heard nothing additional in regard TO
the submarine eruption off Honokaa, Hawaii. The
report il generally discredted.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Mn. Curtis p. Iuakea has been appointed chief
clerk in the Foreign Office, vice William jarrett,
do, aaI
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Fifteen passengers arrived in Honolulu from
left on the same steamer for San Francisco.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Persons desiring to appeal from the tax assess
obtain their appeal papers before the 3Oth.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

On Thursday last. Thanksgiving day, at the
Fort Street Church, Rev. A. Forbes, by invitation
of Gen. Comfy, U. S. Minister, preached the Gus
tOmarY sermon.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

| The matchmaking of Fort street between
| Queen and Merchant has improved il materially
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

TuE Excelsior just arrived from San Francisco
during the two weeks previous to her departure.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Thanksgiving day, Thursday the 25th, OBJ
served by Americans and others in Honolulu.
Most of the business houses were closed after
noon.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Judge Judd and Mr.. Preston arrived from Ha-
waii on the Likeiike last Sunday
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

At Kilauea plantation Kauai, the thermometer
fell to 81 : last Monday morning.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

The Lancashire witch sailed for Tahiti last Sun
day, carrying the mails. Sir Thomas Hesketh, her
owner, left for San Francisco in the CITY Of Ne'c
YnrL
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

The bark reported outside last Wednesday, and
about whose name there considerable specua-
ton on the Streets passed on without stopping
here.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

The australia from San Francisco is expected
this evening or to- morrow.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Rev. Mr.. Damon and wife who have been absent
from the Islands some time, and Mr.. N. Armstrong,
the recently appointed Attorney General are expec
ted here by the australia from the coast.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

The sssnoh ON Thursday p. \. from ths foot q
Aisksa street, vas somstkips intolstAblA We
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

The city Of Nem Yorl: arrived from the South
last Monday and sailed for San Francisco the
same day about 645 P. FL, with good number of
passengers and n large amount of freight.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

A trotting race is announced to come off at Kapi-
olani Park this afternoon between King William
Dolly Warden, Little Giant and Pumpkin Seed
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Capt Crane of the schooner Haieakala, who left
Hawaii on last Saturday, reports that Mauna Loa
ON Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights gave
evidence of renewed activity, and that the llumi-
nation is now as bright when the eruption first
commenced. o. FFf
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27
Fine Leather Goods {:

Photograph Albums, beautiful assortment for Card
Cabinet, or combined; AUTOGRAPH ALBUMS. Port
folios Ladies' Bags Balts Purses Card Cases. Memoir
anda Pocket Books, Cigar Cases Pocket Inks,
TRAVELLING TOILET CASES, Ladies Necessities.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

We call attention to Mr.. Horns holiday adver-
tisement in another solumn.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

copy of Italian newspaper, bearing
date of September last, has an extravagant
and sweetly honeyed puff for "our >illustrious
friend, Signor c. G. Moreno, from Dogliani." 1t
is strange how well Moreno has been written up of
late by the journals of many countries.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

This ia the holiday season of the year. The 10th
inst, the Kings birthday, the 18th Thanks
giving, to-day is the anniversary of the ,ogni-
ton of Hawaiian Independence, and Christmas
and New Years day near ut hand.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

There will be no music this afternoon Mt Emma
Square the band having been ordered ont to-day
with the troops to drill. An extra concert will be
given on Monday evening, November 18th, at the
Hawaiian Hotal
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Yesterday morning Capt. d. Kahoowaiwai of
the Patio, while up in the sail loft waiting for his
men to get out SAIL fell from the bench on which
he was sitting and expired about twenty minutes
afterward.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

WE regret to announce this morning the death
of the Hon. p Y. Kaeo, which sad event occurred
at his residence Fort Street, last night at about
10 o'clock. The deceased had been in poor health
for some time previous to his death.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

The brick building the esplanade recently oc-
cupied by j. L. Chayter's blacksmith shop, has
the roof and now raising the walls to make it
full two-story building.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

SINCE Wednesday the atmosphere has been quite
smoky and hazy. 1t is generally attributed to be
borne hither by the wind, which has been from the
south for several days.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

Nh. WILLIAM JAnRErr, late Chief Clerk in the Of
fee of the Minister Of Foreign Affairs died last
Tuesday in Honolulu. Mr.. Jarrett came to the
Islands with Commodore Wilkes in 1910 and has
been in the employ of the Government in one or
another office for 81 years. the last % more
being in the Foreign Office. frr -
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

VIA informed, by Father Larkin, that his pur-
chase of the Armstrong premises, although NOM
made for Bishop Maigret, to whom the title is now
transferred.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27
Circuit Court Third Judicial Circuit No.
vember Term, 1880,

The business Of the Term commenced at Wal
mea, Hawaii, on Thursday the 4th day of Novem-
Der, before the Hon. A. F. Judd First Associate
Justice of the Supreme Court, presiding the Hon.
O. f. Hart, Circuit Judge Mr.. Preston prosecutor
for the Crown
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27
BY AUTHORITY.
SATURDAY PRESS.

NOVEMBER 81, $780,
Business Agents Notice.
All advertisements for the SATURDAY PRgss must be
sent In by Friday No Insertions for the current
issue can he guaranteed when sent in later
Advertisers will mark the number OF insertions de.
sired from which date they charge. Any marked
will be charged months.
THos. @. THRUM, Business Agent.
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27
A;Fuil Line of Diaries for 1881,

PARL0R GAMES,Described Maps, n s., Magic
Mirrors Comic Cubes GoBang, Stceplc Chase, LIES
Mshaps, G,me of Nations. Spider and Fly, Pilgrims
Progress, Monopoist, Cut Up tiaIncs Lotto Dominoes
Chess Checkers, Authors various Kinds Jack Straws
Jnck Stones &c Crolnet SGts Crib Boards and boxes
Saturday press. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1880-1885, 1880-11-27

What has become Of our base ball and cricket
clubs
DIR. McGrew has purchased the Royal Hawaiian
Theatre.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-04-02
TRUSTEES SALE.

10y VIRTUE oF A DEED on TRUST MADE
ID by ". W. Mcdonnell ~ me "a trustee. dated
OctObcr 18th, 1871 recorded IN the Office ot the
Clerk OF the County Court ofOhiO county, Yves,
Virginia, In decd Of tr'IN book No. II, page 81,
VIII on
SATURDAY, THE lsT DAY OF MAY. lSs0.
commencing at 10 O'Clock A. NJ, sell at the mont
door Oi the Court House Of said county, the FOL
lowing described property, that Is o. say: Thu
lOtnumbetcd twenty nine, Of the addition 10 The
city OF wheeling iaiA out by William w. shriver,
on the south OF Fourteenth street, aud fronting
ON Fifteenth street. excepting the ihrcc feet IN
width OF the full depth OF sold lot OF the west
side ~ the same heretofore conveyed ~ John
HOnish tagcther with all aud siusular the i'm
proNsmcnp thereon and the Entertainments and
appurlcnanCes belonging thereto
'fhc title l. believed a. be perfect, but will
convey only the title vested In me by said decd
OF trust
TERMS OF SALE.--Onc third and more Il the
purchaser M elect cash on day OF sale, the bal
ancc Ia two equal ins,allmcnts at six and twelve
months. evidenced by negotiable notes, bearing
interest from day OF sale. the title 10 DO retained
until payment IN made IN full
DENIS oKEEFFE Tfuustec.
" j. W. COWDEN, solicitor. mr2h