Daily Republican., 1880-05-20

half Of nose on the pulpit, remarks
to the audience
"He that hath ears to hear let hin
behave himself"
The sermon then proceeded withou
further interruption. - Little Rocl
"Gazette."
REGISTERING WOMEN VOTERS IN Bos
TON. We are indebted to q "staff cor
respondent" for the following anecdot
concerning the recent registration of te
male voters in Boston. Its accuracy i
vouched for by an eminent artist-op
Of the most distinguished stone-outtsr
in the Hub:
Enter old lady of uncertain age. I"
wish to register, SIR"
"Your name, please ?"
"Almira Jane Simpson,
"Your agsf"
"Beg pardon"
"Your age 7"
"Do understand that l must Civ,
my age '''
eyes, Miss, the law requires it,"
"Worlds, sir, would not tempt me Il
give it Not that care. No; l had
as lief wear 1t on my bonnet as a hack.
man does his number but Pm twin
and If my sister has weakness, 1t Is
that she dislik@ any reference made to
her age and could not give my own
because don't wish to offend her."
EQUAL TO THE EMBRaENcY "A player
at Continental gam bling table had
left large sum Of gold on the red,
where it was doubled and doubled
again. Two louis accidentally rolled off,
undetected by the owner, TO tho mark
ed-otf space called "envers," where
they prospered and became twenty-four
louis. A thief who was looking on knsw
this, and the head croupier was also
well aware of 1t and Of the intentions
of the robber. But the latter succeed
ed. Sliding up to the real owner of the
money, lie said
"Sir, will you do me favor have
twenty.four louis on the 'envers > l
dare not take them up, for my father
in-law has just entered the room, and
have promised him that l will never
play"
The other bowed politely, raked in
his own twenty-four pieces Of gold, and
shortly afterward presented them to
the thief.
The BEST VEHICLE.-Au anecdote is
told Of physician who was called to a
foreign family to prescribe for a case of
incipient consumption. He gave them
prescription for pills, and wrote the
direction "Ons pill to be taken three
times day, in any convenient vehi-
cls." The femily looked in the diction-
ary to get at the meaning of the pre-
scription. They got on we'll until they
got to the word vehicle. They found
"cart, wagon, carriage, buggy, wheel.
barrow" After grave consideration
they came to the conclusion that the
doctor meant the patient should ride
out, aud while in the vehicle he should
take the pill. He followed the advice
to the letter, and in few weeks the
flesh air and exercise secured the ad-
vantage which otherwise might rot
hays come.
Once, in travelling, Rev. DR.. Blsdsoe
was exceedingly annoyed by a pedantic
bore who forced himself upon him, and
made a great parade upon his shallow
The doctor bore it as long as
he could, and at length, looking at him
gravely, said:
"My friend, you and know all that
Is to be known"
Show is that ?" said the man, much
pleased with what he thought a very
complimentary association.
"Why," said the doctor, "you know
everything except that you are fool,
aud | know that p" /
"You are the dullest boy ever saw,
Grossly exclaimed an old uncle to his
nephew.
"Well. uncle" replied the youth,
with look at the old gentleman's bald
head, "you can't expect me to under
'tapd things as quickly as you do, be.
,ause you don't have the trouble of
,etting 'em through your hair"
Little fve-year-old Annie, who was
uffering from bad cold, went to pay
visit to auntie. During the day, she
elated her various successes at school,
nd ended by declaring, she could read
good deal better than Sabina, who
Vas eight years old.
"Well," questioned auntie, '"would
not sound better If some one else
aid 1t 7"
"Yes," answered Annie, with sober
81 think 1t would.
ave such bad cold / can't say it very
rell."
Why is a handsome woman like a
No, you're wrong. It is
ot because she sometimes draws a long
rain 1t is not because she INDUCES in
1t is not because she has
to do with switch; 1t is not
ecause she transports the mails; 1t Is
OF because she may have a headlight
in fact, a handsome woman is not
, the least like locomotive, not even
hen she is little "fast" snd blows
p her husband.
An Illinois race-horse is named "Chi-
sQo Girl" OF course, IL is very fast. I