The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-02-17
ALL SORTS.

She hung them on q chair.
She wore her bangs to school one day.
Which made her classmates sore.
And hints went round that Mary's pa
Had worked dollar store.
| This kind of talk produced fuss
| The teacher took it up;
She locked the bangs within her desk
Oh full was Mary'a cap.
Old ocean INDUCES in storm merely to
| wreck creation.
Persons with strong turn" for music
l-Orgsn-grinders.
A hypocrite is q man who tries to be
pious and can't. with a preponderance OF
cant.
Scientific men toll us that the earth is
but crust, and every live man wants to
belong to the upper crust. -Nese Orleans
Picdyune.
A close observer sees q deal of shrewd-
ness and cunning in the fact of General
5rants leaving the country when he did,
he says the General showed deep art by
his departure.
1t Is mean woman who will paste last
years plate of fashions for bonnets into q
this years fashion book aud lend il to her
female friends just before Easter Sunday.
Young man. if its ii O'Clock, land she
goes to the piano and plays few
bars OF ''The Sweet Bye and Bye" you
may consider the seance over for the night.
LoDefeilow's son is exhibiting in Boston
an ailegorical painting called THE Choice
OF Youth" 1t is not said whether it re-
presents yelocirede or scent cigar.
These are the nights when the ther-
mometer hugs zero, the old folks hug the
FIRE. and the young folks hug each other.
-.Steubcnulle Herald.
7 on promised to pay that bill yester-
day. said on angry creditor to debtor.
Yes. calmly replied the other, 'but to
err is human, to forget sdivine-and for.
got it. oil City Derrick
Now we know all about the ,"What Is
ltP" Ii is book agent. We saw one
ring door bell on Race street the other
day, and a women stuck her head out of
the second-story window and yelled
Hello! What is i'm J. Express.
Where are the greenbacks gomez"
walls an up country paper. Been fedto
swine, expect: we have seen 10 Gne
thousand (l.0O0) exchanges this week the
statement that there's money in hogs"
-Des Moines Register
Some people act as if providence were
thing OF the future entirely: others as if
it were of the past-while the fact is it
keeps right on, doing business at the old
stand every day. Nc Gregor Neaos,
Robins and blue birds and white skirts
and oyster cans and dead cats have made
their appearance in Detroit the same as
if it was April, and the croakers in the
water. holes sing: Sing hey, tie merry
bullfrogs THAT we are, ,"-DetrOt Free
Press.
4 clergyman recently left Liverpool
in large ocean steamer and beginning to
feel uncomfortable after leaving the
mouth of the river, sought the Captain
to lear n if there was any danger The
Captain. in response, led the clergyman
to the sforecastls and told him to listen
90 what was going on. The clergyman
was shocked to hear the sailors swearing
vigorously, and expressed hi horror to the
Captain. The Captain merely remarked:
DO you think these men would swear in
such manner If there was any real dan
ger?" whereupon the parson seemed
satisfied, and retired. A day or two after
during severe storm the Captain saw
the clergyman proceeding with difficulty
to the fnrecastle, aud on his return heard
him exclaim: Thank heaven! they're
swearing yetl'