The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-06-02
PASSING SMILES.

Cows have an original tasts fol
music but they hook too many bars.
CAN any one improve his condition BY
/ whining? If not, whine not.
"BIY burden is light" remarked the
little man carrying a big torch In the
procession. rata
WE are told that liars shall not pros
per, yet Jules Verne has made $3.50, 900
out of his original books. i.
YOU'RE q man after my own heart, +"
as the blushing maiden confessed when
her lover proposed marriage.
IT's twice as much work to spade up
ground for garden purposes as it is to dig
it over for bait. .Hl
JUDGING from the tone of the chi
cago papers the st. Louis girl is obliged
to go up stairs MISUNDERSTANDING
NetCs.
TAKEN together all the beauties OF
art and nature do not begin to interest
the lnquisitive female so much as the
view she gets through keyh0le.
PLEASE to understand" said the
honorable Billy, the other day, "Im
not such fool as look" No." said
ADODJ bAAdb hOuI0 DC lOO AuhOAs
A MAN has invented chair which can
be adjusted to 500 different positions
1t is designed for boy to sit in when
having his hair cut.
E THEY have women tramps out in
Iowa." and soon they'll be monopolizing
that business, and poor man will be
obliged to work for a living.-OI City
Derrick.
A NEW JERSEY cOlOred man, whose
wife had left him, said; "She would
come back if / frowed her some sugar;
but [ amt frowin' no sugar, do you
heahp
IT is a time-honored custom in
Quincy, Fla, to salute a newly married
couple by firing a cannon. This is to re-
mind those present that the battle of life
has fairly begun. 90
WHEN a boy falls and peels the skin
off his nose the first thing he does is to
get up an yell. When a girl tumbles ano
hurts herself badly the first thing she
does is to get up and look at her dress
81 DON'T wish to say anything against
the individual in question" said very
polite gentleman, but would merely
remark, in the language of the poet
that to him truth is stranger than ic.
tion." 1890 al
THAT was a triumphal appeal of the
lover of antiquity, who, in arguing the
superiority of old architecture over the
new, said: "Where will you find any
modern building that lasted 50 long az
the ancientT'
THE Whitehall Times is mean enough |
to tell this: "When the professors at
Vassar College desire the young ladies
to be good, and prepare to become |
angels, they tell them that all female
angels are permitted to slide down or
sunbeams." ...s
A YOUNG man in Maryland started |
out with horse and lance and battle-ax /
to champion damsels in distress. He had |
not gone five miles when a red-headed |
school ma'am pulled him off his steed |
and rolled him in the mud. ~. -
WHEN tae young and tender school girl isn't think.
ing,
Of the time when she win be be allowed to vote,
The chances are that she is eoyly blinking,
At some young man in a zebra overeoat,
NNsT Baven Register.
A YOUNG gentleman in lager beer
restaurant up town is known to be in
ove and to have given up eating. A
'ausage being placed before him the
)ther day, he was seen to toy with ii
awhile, and when he was asked what be
vas doing he said he was carving her
lame on the bark.
The mule stood on his on fore leg,
whence all but him had fed,
And kicked a fierce gun cotton keg,
Right on its bottom head
The keg it burst with grieVous sound,
The mule ohl where was her
Go ask him, for he stood his ground,
And still kicks mulefully. 500.
BToOkIlHa EgoL