The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-06-04
PITH AND POINT.

WHENEVER the Indians and soldiers
have brush the soldiers are apt to fur
nish the hair. s,
The trouble in this country is not so
much that we cannot raise coffee as that
we can't settle it.
WHAT need is there to worry and fret
And vainly try more trouble to borrow,
When we know that after the sun has set
To-day will be yesterday tomorrow.
"THE family man, says Mrs. Quilp,
resembles an oyster on the half-shell.
The shell is shown at home-the soft
side abroad" u
A MULES head does not contain brain
capable of culture and refined rearing,
| but it is wonderful to what extent the
other end of his form can be reared.
"WHoM can we trust ?" is the black
type inquiry of an exchange. It is of
no consequence. "Whom can we in
duce to trust us?" is the soul agonizer.
TENNYsoN spends hours on single
line" And SO, by the way, does the
washerwomen. And the line of the lat
ter is the longest. -NorristoaVo Herald.
HIS name is not :" y-I-shoot-a-long-
horned-cow that is, if the King of
Slams name is referred to. He writes
in this way /: "Mahah Chuta-long-
Klow."
WHILE a Leadville lawyer was cross
examining a woman who was on the wit
ness-stand, she exclaimed: "Tm a
lady, and by thunder don't you for
get it. >"
FATHER But Charley, again I see
no improvement in your marks" Char
ley Yes, papa, it is high time that
you had serious talk with the teacher,
or else he'll keep on that way forever
A CITIZEN of Plymouth, Ind, fired
six shots at supposed burglar, and
then his wife called out ''See here,
Sam, if you don't stop shooting at me
you'll have the house full of neighbors."
SAID a crafty husband to his business
partner, 81 have promised my wife an
immense surprise for her birthday"
''More extravaganza % 81 shall give
her nothing, it will be an immense sur
prise. " .......-... g..
"WHEN you order a new covering for
your parasol, of a particular color, you
should always give the shade, my dear"
said lady to her daughter, who ex-
claimed, "Give the shade, mamma
Why, the parasol will do that p
Mr.. B11DERBAcK laid down his paper
and gazed thoughtfully into vacancy.
"From the frequency of glowing and
highly eulogistic obituary notices, the
old man said, 81 Judge there is an I'M
precedented mortality among the mean
men just now"
A sCHOoLBoY spelled decimal and
pronounced it dismal. "What do you
mean by calling that dismal? " exclaimed
the teacher. "'Cause it is" answered
the boy. "It's dismal fractions. All
fractions are dismal. There isn't bit
of fun in any of EN-"
Two FISHERMEN were talking. 81
have found splendid place for fish re-.
cent? -a new place where they bite like
everything !" "Ah, have you? Where
is ?" GA little above Serves. I was
there yesterday" "What did you
catch ?" "The $40 train coming home"
THE farmer feeds the bleating III,
The sailor sails the C,
The gardener p ants the p, he does,
The printer takes hise e.
The sinner wipes his weeping i,
The farmer swarms his b b,
The printer daily sets his M IN,
The teamster yels his 6 G.
The lawyer gathers in his Wv,
When he has tried his k X;
The Sheriffs ever on the C C,
The gambler risks his q.
BUTTER? You remember the story
of the guest who was eating more butter
than biscuit, while the landladY looked
on and fidgeted and limited until she
fairly went into nervous fit. Finally
she said, EDO you know butter is up to
IS cents pound ?" The hungry guest
reached out and took what there was
left. "Well," he drawled, approvingly
and reassuringly, "good butter is with