davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30
REM EmaER

That Warren's Music House. % Morrison street
the Postotfice, Portland, Or, has everything
in the musical line at reasonable prices 4 large
stock of sheet music, books, pianos, musical mer-
ehandise, band and orchestra music always on
hand. Mr.. Warren buys every thing direct from
Eastern houses, and can afford TO sell cheaper
than any store in Oregon. Send for catalogue
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

The Chicago TDles says: Warmers Safe Kid
ney and Liver Cure is highly endorsed by min
listers, judges, physicians, surgeons, by men OF
literary and scholarly distinction, and by indi-
viduals in all the walks of life.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

A fop. who was sauntering about a
country village, saw pretty face at the
window of house near which little boy
was at play iBub," says he, s.who is
that fair lady looking out?" isis" was
the laconic reply. .'Will you not tell
me if she is n maid or matron?" asked
the exquisite. Neither; she's tall
oress," answered the lad, resuming his
play.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

IF spiritnalistic seers happen to dis
cover the ghost of q tramp jour. printer
who recently set up abdominal sounds
for abominable sounds, they viii confer
a life enduring favor by reporting such
appearance to this Office. Rome SEN
tinel.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

The reason young ladies take so kindly
to the fashion of banging their hair is
because their mothers can't tell how
much it is mnssed up after their fellows
have gone.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

A SWELL SMASH UP.--The team at
tachcd to the family carriage of rich
Galveston family ran away n few days
ago. The lady and her daughter were in
the carriage, and the street was full Of
vehicles. She asked the coachman if he
could stop the team. He said he could
not, but he Thought he could steer it.
Then, said she, leaning back with
great composure, "run us into some
fashionable turnout. want to be thrown
into good company" Fortunately the
team was halted just as it was about to
demolish swill carl. Galveston News.
The Princess of Wales, when at San
brigham, has little tea parties for which
she herself makes the butter in o silver
churn and spreads It on slices of bread
which she cuts with. her own hands.
While she Is at her work siib wears q
cfAaE~ Nrss- apr0n.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

THE OBJECT that
fording Education
less and less time than other character School
English Branches will
study desired in either New Teachers
will Lady constantly Ladies Department.
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

~ HI tency. Paralysis and
"a a mi all the terrible efzects
W. SeZs&RsU OF Self Ahuse, sou1b-
k$N ~ ful follies, and lexSea-
kEfHS3 ~ ses In maturer tears--
1SXsYKE7a.Ns< such as Loss OF Mem.
SOW ory, ,Lassitude. Noct,lr-
nal Emission, Avers10n To Society," Dfrnnpex q,
Vision. Noises in the head the vital amid
passing unobseryed IN the urine, and many
otner dIseases Lnat lead TO insanity and death.
DIX: MiNfIE will agree TO forfeit Five
Hundred Dollars for q case OF this kind the
VITAL L8ESEO&ATKyE E funder his sree;si
advice and ireatmentI Will not cure. ~ fbf
anything impure or injurious found In IL
Dh. mANTIE treats all Private Diseases sfsc-
cessfully without mercury. C0naulfnff6n
Free Thorough examination and adviee In
GUIDING analysis OF urine, IS 90. Price Of Vital
Aest9rafiye. IS 90 per buttle, or tour 9h1ss
the quantity for $40 90; sent TO any address
on receipt OF price, or O. o. D., secure from obs
sefvation, and in private name n desired BY
A. Z. MINTKE, NJ. n
IL Aearny street, San Franefseo ca.
DIR. MlNTIE'S KIDNEY REuKnv-
EFhEIlGU M.cures ali kinds OF K56nzv
and Bladder Complaints, Gouorrhoea. Gfeef
Lencorrhoea. For sale by all druRgjstss eis sf21 4
bottle; six bottles for IS 00 = =
DIX MiNTIE'S DANDELE0N Pills
are the best and cheapest DYSPEPSIA an
druggists. = ss's y =
HODGE, DAVIS d co. Portland. o..
wholesale Agents. marli i
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30

Oregon as yet is young state in years, young in
her developments young in the products Of her re-
sources. Portland, her representative city, leads
the way in all the undertakings of magnitude and
Importance and is looked TO by the entire North Pa
eifc for examples worthy of emulation. In reflect
ing over the situation and scanning the field for
industry TO select as prominent example We fnd
the Oregon Furniture Manufacturing Company we'll
suited to our purpose. which fa to show readers
what world of wonders lie about us only awaiting
the magic hand Of industry, energy and perseyer-
ance to bring forth such fruit the world cannot
sarpass. This company, its career and present po-
stion will serve well and If the kind reader will
accompany upon our tour of investigation through
this establishment will endeaver to interest
them, Away back, many years ago, an association
of far seeing, energetic gentlemen organized them
selves into company for the purpose of hewing
our native woods from the then almost unbroken
forests and transforming them into
The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30
Portland
The Great English Remedy

Is q never-failine (ura
for Nervous pehflifv
Exhausted Vitality.
Seminal WeS knsSr.
Spermatorrhea LOST
MANH00u, IH1po-
tency. Paralysis. and
all the terrible effects
OF Self Abuse, youth
fnl follies, and excess
ses In maturer fean--
such as Loss Of Mem.
ory,Lassitude. Noctllr-
, 1880-08-06
Chrome Constipation Cured.
PHILADELPHIA, Pa, Oct. a. 1877

PHILADELPHIA, Pa, Oct. 4, 1879
Fl. HI. WARNER & Co.-Gents: For
the past ten years / have suffered the
evil effects Of what may be termed
chronic constipation my skin became
yellow and my liver out of order; l
tried all the remedies that could be Oh
tanned, and that was all l could do, after
finding no permanent relief from regular
medicine treatment, and finally. COM
menced using your remedies. first
tried the Pills, and at the end of one
week my bowels had attained regular
ity and healthy action unknown for
years. | was SO pleased with che effect
that [ concluded to try y bottle of your
Btters, and although | have not en-
tirely used the first bottle, / am so per.
ceptibly improved and toned up that l
write you giving this voluntary testi-
oonial to the excellence of your RENE
dies. Yours truly, Z. j. CAMPBELL
, 1880-08-06

plai,, words are Best. !.
This Week.

Weelearn that certain people hnd
fault With w. L. Clark, Of Providence,
RI, for not "writing up" his great
Kidney Medicine, HUNTS REMEDY, in
more Aowery style. 1t is not Mr..
Clarke but his critics who are foolish.
What does man who is, threatened
with Bright's Disease, or any disease. OF
the Kidneys, Bladder, Liver or any'Ua'
nary organs, most require-6ne words
or q eurel2 In HUNS RgAfEpY, the
Great Kidney and Liver Medicine, he
gets the cure--.a sure cure. = MAI
Sold by all druggists. Trial size ! 70
cents ..yr ',,,, ,'5 -,.,.,,>
, 1880-08-06
From the Banks of the Hudson.

" NEwBURG, N. " Oot, 2Os 1873 {
H. III. WARNER'& Co., ROCHESTER,,
N. Y.-Gentlemen: A lady Of over 20
yearsSof age, in failing health for over a
year. has been using Warmers Safe Bit
ltef's on my recommendation. 1She feels
very grateful for the benefit she has de-
rived therefrom, and says that until she
used it her stomach could bear no vege-
table food for over three years. l be-
lieve it to be certain specific for dys-
.persia. Warmers Safe Pills are also
meeting with very good success, in all
forms! of Liver Complaints, Malarial
Troubles, Dumb Ague, and wherever a
safeapd efficient cathartic is required
I cannot speak to highly Of them ",
: F@ DIR. J. O. JosLYN, M. ID.
, 1880-08-06

The Chief of Police yesterday had a
Visit from an old farmer living out on
he Centre Line road, who had story
% tell. After two or three efforts, he
began:
81 vos goin' bone last night ven 1
0verdakes two men on der roadt. Dose
Isllers day laft und saidt would / gif 'em
ande. | laft, too, und say shump in"
"Yes, | understand"
"POoty queek Won feller laft und saidt
10 likes Dutchmens, cause his uncle vas
a Dutchmans. Dor vas all right, und
30 laft, too.I vos real tickle, und /
ahaks all ofer.r
"Yes."
I'm a leetle while Won feller wants me
10 Shange a seven-tollar bill, so as he
could gif some money to der orphan
asylums, und he lafts ha hal Dot
Slckled me some more, und / lafts, too.
Den der odder feller he grabs me by ter
collar und pulls me down pehind und
wy oohS III my poCheIS AoI
SSteampOat dot vas stoled from Detroit
lot makes us all laf ike some good
shOke."
" 1t must have heen funny"
" 1t vas. Dose fellers took out mine
valet uud counted opp der monish. [
ia aaa shust ten tollar, und dey laft und
aa'a "a dot dey must go on some trips to
uer sea shore NIT Dot. Dot tickled me
und | laft too"
We'll, what then" .rt-.r,~
Veil, den dey shumped out und put
Ser c fingers on deir noses und says,
uOot-6y, old Dutohmans,' und away dey
Soes like some horse races"
And you didn't laugh at that %
veil, not pooty much. L vas already
out | stopped. If dem fellers vas up
y, SMOKES it vas all right, but if day vas
,."oer8 wants you to catch 'em und gif
! fu some pieces of my mind like dunder !,
don't like somebody to laugh at me
sA dey don't feel tickled all oafer.-
, 1880-08-06
Wanted "A Reversible Fat Man.

81
There should be law in this country
to keep fat men out in the woods during
the Summer. If it wasn't for fat men
on the streets, on the cars, in halls and
other public places, lean folks would
never feel the heat half as much as they
do. They are unabridged Thermometers:
Let two lean men make up to go fishing
and along. comes fat man with his
face as red as a beet, the sweat trickling
down his back, and his collar looking
like wilted cabbage leaf, and he begins
to tell how internal hot it is, and what
danger there is of sunstroke, and how
he wishes he was an iceberg, and in two
minutes he knocks the fishing business
in the head. '- ''- 30 ''- ~
One fat man at church festival will
do move. injury than a thunder storm.
I'm the Yfisst, place, he tries ito Discourage
fhe aDmniitkeea from holding Xhsi festi-
vni..~"-Wher-he-can't do ~ehaS -he'goes
anaastsies to shut out, all the air by
standing in the door. II, people stand
that be goes putting and Blowing around
and says he is 57Yyears old and never
saw such hot evening before. He
warns the children that strawberries
will sour on the stomach, tells, the ladies
! that ice cream. is the foundation of con-
sumption, aand gives out that be has
had TWO sons die from the effects Of
drinking lemonade on a hot evening.
PerspiriRg though he is, he casts atcold
wa7elover The gathering and manages to
leave tury gallons Of ice cream on the
committees hands. NJ AZ u MAJ
!, 1t is on the street car that the fat
mans inAuentee Is most apparent.
Everybody in.the car is all right until
he comes in. He, drops down with an
awful grIht, begins to mop his Old bald
head and grovl, ana IN two minutes he
starts theIperspiratien allaaroand.% a He
takes up three seats works his elbows
into other peoples ribs, and is indignant
atanybody wao has Ito climbSover him.
to reach the fare-box. rgltte won't be
thankful for anything that is, and he
won't cease growing taanything that
isn't. He deliberately lies about hew
his ,thermometer STOOD when he left
home, and if that, doesn't start a head
ache, NE predicts, hotter weather for to
morrow" HBagets Up with,a grlnt, steps
ION everybody betweer himself 'Snd the
door and sdetainsTths' tar as long as pos
stble before sSfntAly drops to9earth, as
il he meant to bring UP in China. - a,
T. What is wanted insthis cohiltry-is a
reversible fat mana chap who can be
opened out like an umbrella in January
and closed up like a telescope in July.
When the thermometer is at zero, fat
man will 60 in for all public improve
ments, sign any petition, attend any
convention, and argue any question.
When the thermometer shows eighty
four degrees in the shale, he is obstinate,
mulish, bigoted and nuisance, which
ought to be promptly suppressed. De
troit Free Press.
, 1880-08-06
= = y ~ y IA ~
=. oldest Inhabitants on June.

Il II o'clock Yesterday afternoon %
:.Sr ~ about 70 years Of age sae under
'1er wing on Michigan ayende, cool
az and contented, and the mercury
/ t'I his feeling down to about sixty He
%;rht soon have fallen asleep but ~ along
% J. and stopped for moment to fan his
\ fsSpu "purtv warm out to-day o. queried
N aWell, yes; but if some of those young
w. who are perspiring around here to-
"A E had lived in June, 1929, / guess
.vA kno what hot weather was. l
2 n n vou that was scorcher, and no mis-
M'y r-.1
h @June, '29. Now, let's see. Amt you
little off," - -
\ nNo. sir; remember all about it. 1t
.a 80 hot from the Sth to the 25th that
an could not work in the fields, land
,ndreds Of cattle died from the great
aYou are off just d year, said the
her, beginning to wake up. "It was
1928. l remember it because l ran
office that fall" sys wv y
II can't help about your running for
Sce I know it was in '29, because l
Oke my leg that year, "a ~ g eS% 4
\ II don't care ifyou broke your neck, \
claimed the otlfer,S his mercury rising
sighty.six degrees at a single jump.
guess I know What year I ran for
Ice p o. E& h
II say it was M ,29, and I've got .
Nary to prove it."
aAnd I've gutytwo diaries to prove it
has in '2S. YoaSa talking 10 an old
Sneer, sir" ~ Ez..g ws1
I"And so you are-one who heard the
blyes bowling before you were born
|On't you imagine that you knowit allp''
l"Whats the dispute % asked Gus
jmer who camSeslt Of the store INTO
"'Why, sir, Tya been called 4 liar!py
bat person there p replied the first.
|If 1 wasn't so old ,Pd drop him TO his
hCks." , M
"And he's called me liar r shouted
be second; "I'm five years older than
|s is, but if he. wants to try any. drops
b me, I'll clear him Of the law. ! say
kwas in 1922. h a@. Is
at wasn't; it wasin '2S p 4
"Look out y IN e y q, 1se
"Look out for yourself n ,st,M 4
"Don't stick my nose again, or I'll
bit you p 90 90 E5 EESSaS R
"Don't push me back, pr an do goa
IinjuryP' ~ Y
And but for the younger man those
two old pioneers would have tackled
each other about q. hot June which
neither probably had correct within five
years, and which doubtless was d good
deal cooler than any other June they
ever saw. They started off p n aaifareaatt a 1Al
directions to hunt up old diaries and
prove each other falslhers, and rhersaftsi
won't hitch along for each other Oh the
street cars, won't drink from the same
soda fountain if they know it, and see
ing each other across the street will
gOwl out:
"There should be law to prevent
such an old liar from running at large r
Free Press.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

THE Buffalo Courier says: 1t iswhispered
" that Mrs CoNKLING is domestic martyr,
" that she has no faith in her husband and
no love for him but that she keeps up APP
"pearances for the sake of her family. She
adopted this course some years ago when
=" her first trial came and has persevered in
it.' Any petty sneak and cowardly cal
umnator can whisper" scandal about
another--but the bold, just mau never
whispers calumuies In this way. He makes
his assaults, if he has any 20 make,
openly on his individual responsibility and
meets the consequences like man, without
sneaking behind the whisper" of some " ir-
responsible scandal monger" This last
assault upon the domestic relations of Sem
ator CoNKLINd bears the palm away from
all its ignoble predecessors in the way OF
contemplate meanness. The Courier may
yet find it difficult to screen itself behind
that whisper of defamation.
National Republican., 1880-02-19
WAsu1NaroN. Febrnary Is. 1850.

To The Editor Of The National Republican:
SIR: To decide difference of opinion be.
tween two Of your subscribers, will you please
define tho expression gentleman W
METHUsELAH.
Well, old fellow, according to our edi-
torial lexicon, n gentleman is man who
never-that is to say, hardly ever-enters
the editorial sanctum sanctorum-one who
always pays for his paper in advance; one
who is pronounced Republican and a
GRANT man. We thought you knew that,
or we should have told you before.
National Republican., 1880-02-19
Tho Indinns-How Itis Done.
WAsnrNaroN, Feb. IS. IS

WAbHINGION, TOD, 10, IboU,
To the Editor Of The National Republican,
SIR: recent letter from an acquaintance
at Leadvile contains the following From
developments already made there bids fair
to be great increase of fnds next summer
over the main range, in what is called the Gun
nson country. There are not enough Utes
to prevent miners from going on to their res
eryation. They will 20 IN as soon AS tho snow
will permit in regiments, armed aud eqpped,
both for mining aud lighting if need be, and
the Utcs must 90"
Thus an Indian war is caused, troops de-
manded, and misery, taxes aud injustice in-
creased. Great Is Alah!' AMERICANA.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

II is said that the Hon. A. g. JEwETT, of
Maine, who was on the stump for Fusion last
fall, is now outspoken for GRANTS nomna-
tion.-Ereaing Star.
The Hon. A. G. JEwETT, of Maine, was
formerly q strong war Democrat, and, as a
matter of course, is "now outspoken for
"GRANT's nomination." MS are the late war
Democrats all over the United States-by Il
large majority-and don't you forget it.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

ment trying to believe that the best thing
that could be has been done. In the mean
time, we have q right to ask of those who
prefer another to General GRANT that they
shall treat him, his character, his services
and his prospects with the same friendly
and urbane spirit aud temper that they
claim for their respective favorites When
this shall be done the tide of abuse aud
calumnY will run down and relieve the oc-
oaslon Of much that is unjust and Offensive.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

COLONEL ROBERT g. INGERsoLI is as strong
a Blaine man MS ever. Ifhe should be elected
delegate to the Chicago convention and des-
ignated TO nominate Mr.. BLAINE, as lie prob.
ably would be, the country may look out for
a fine piece Of oratory, Indianapolis Journal.
Ycs-but Colonel INGERsoLL's eloquence
will scarcely be heard in the National Con-
vention, unless he shall represent Illinois.
The District of Columbia has sent another
eloquent man to represent the BLAINE in
terest
National Republican., 1880-02-19

SECRETARY SCHURz affects to be greatly
amused that the story has gone abroad in
effect that he will support BAYARD should
General GRANT get the Republican nomina-
tion. In reference to this matter the Chi
cago Inter- ocean says
A correspondent says "SCHURz will not,
under any circumstances, support GRANT"
What SCHURz is this2 els IL the man who
"lsilled off, GRANT in 1869 and 1870, and
again destroyed him IN 1s722 Is it the
same ScHURz who nominated GREELEY at Gin
ciunatiY Is 1t the SOHURz who advocated
HAYES Southern policy, and induced the
President to stick to it till the Republican
party was disbanded in the South2 If It is,
why possibly the party may survive If he
should defect once more.
National Republican., 1880-02-19
PERSONAL.

Hos, MA NEWELL Of Baltimore, is at the EbbIu
House,
REV. P. f. HESsoS, Of Philadelphia, is guest at
tic Riggs House.
Hos. II. II. IIARRlsoN and WIFE, Of Tennessee, are
guests at the Ebbiu House,
n. MCKAY aud wife Of Philadelphia, were
among the arrivals at the Riggs House yesterday.
REV. b. KATzENsTEIN, Of Poland, grandfather Of
the popular young merchant, sam Is In the city
and has paIlOrs VI the National,
National Republican., 1880-02-19

THE managers OF the Fair Of Company A,
Of this city, which commences on Monday
next, have opened door to the political
world by Offering beautiful aud valuable
Eold-headed cane, which is to be awarded
10 that Presidential candidate who receives
the most votes. An opportunity will he
afforded to the partisans of all political
shades TO compete for this elegant prize
The whole country can vote on the terms
offered, and IL il TO be hoped that the can
Fass will be lively
National Republican., 1880-02-19

" as the hest, 80 Is JUsTHS OLD sTAND,
known for years as the only place where hrst-cRss
secondhand clothing can be sold at respectable
prices Address or call Rt
JUsTH'S OLD STAND,
No 0l0 ID street. between Sixth aud Seventh streets
northwest branch store No. 40S Ninth street. be-
tween ID and IL streets northwest
NJ B,-Note by mall promptly attended 10, Bel0
National Republican., 1880-02-19
iNuV lflNeSi
Whole Tickets, Sc.
27 Tickets, $50,
u ilNV
Haif Tickets, ~.
bb Tickets, 800.
THE SMITH & EGGE MANUFACTURING CO..

LOCK BOX 1908, BRlDGEPOltI, COMM
Manufacturers of specia,tes I'm Light Hardware and
Metallic Goods generally Government and Giant Pad
locks, sewing Machine Locks Piano Locks, Organ
Locks the automatically made Giant sash Chain, su-
periOT TO every other and very much cheaper. No
special pulley required, The Smith a Igge Manufac-
turing Co. also gives special attention u the making
OF estimates for the cost of the manufacture Of pat
ened INVENTIONS and all the necessary tools and the
manufacturing OF the same on royalty. All Commu-
nloalions treated conndentially oCi0-eo0n
National Republican., 1880-02-19

CERTAIN Republican papers in Ohio are
denouncing the attacks made on Secretary
SHERMAN by those of his own political
faith, to which we cry Amen! But why
do not these same papers cease their as
saults upon General GRANT?
National Republican., 1880-02-19

THE German bughcar has no terrors for
those who remember history The same
trick was attempted in 1872 by the same
persons who now attempt it, and it fizzlcd
out most misepby. The truth is that
the Germans arenOt all fools or man n-seryers,
though there are fools and man-seryers
among them. The great majority of Ger
man Republicans are 80 from principle, and
will not let go their integrity at the behests
Of any man or trickster.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

be extended outside that body. This is
narrowing the thing down to a fue point
and forces the Government into an exclu.
siveness that is scarcely justifioble in the
eyes of the country.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

THE police of New York seem to have
greater. facilities for recovering empty
pocketbooks and useless checks and railroad
passes than for capturing thieves and pick
pockets "'Twere ever thus
National Republican., 1880-02-19

He is not regarded as n wise and skllful
lawyer who continues to plead cause after
Judgment when there is no appeal. The
New York TribmCs canvass of Pennsyl-
vania now, no matter what its figures may
be, is loves labor lost" and waste of
time.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

SENATOR VOORHEES, says that Senators
"should remember that it is proper to
"spend money, and to spend it freely"
Yes! that would be the policy of the
Democracy if they had control of the Gov
ernment.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

The New York Mail is at present training
Its guns and blazing away at Senator Lo-
GAN. Why don't it make war upon some
Democrat? 1t is not wise to expend its
ammunition upon Republicans, for it may
End an empty cartridge-box when it goes
INTO battle against the common foe.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

UTICA, N. Y, has been for some time n
depot of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, which is
exploded as often as the Republican party
takes action on questions concerning its
own organization. Thus far as often as
explosions have occurred but one man has
been injured, and that man is not Senator
CONKLING
National Republican., 1880-02-19

THAT eminent German who now fancies
that he has the German element in his
pocket, will feel for it there in November,
and find that it has disappeared 1t is one
thing to contract, and quite another to de-
liver the goods. This is the experience of
the Indians.
National Republican., 1880-02-19

THE st. Louis Globe Democrat propounds
the following startling conundrum for the
consideration of Senator GORDON: "If a
man who cannot spell correctly is not fit
to take the census, upon what ground can
a worse speller continue to occupy a seat
in the Senate?r