The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1880-02-27
rnter.per.ed with Humorous Dialssnes snd Tsblsau
New Chicag0, Friday, February q 1890.
s1.OO
CLIPPINGS
BY the New Northwest Shears Editor.

The Miner idiot says we edit this paper
too much with shears. If he would use the
shears more and pencil less his readers
would be less forcibly and frequently re-
minded what an ass he is.
The imported jack Mormon apostate at
Butte is trying to organize society of the
omphalopsychites at that place. He can
sing Nearer to Thee" more conscien-
tiously than any one else in the town.
When "Bub" Of the Miner oyersleeps
himself the devil gently shakes the gunny
sack on which he reposes and if anything
soft drops out on the floor that's him."
The Miner is ordering disinfectants from
the east in original packages. The prox-
unity of Bulbs digestive organs to his
mouth seriously effects his breath, and be-
side he gets little mouldy whenever the
ground Is damp. Competitors are paid
extra wGges for working in the building
but their shrieks OF torture when the
chloride evaporstes are heartrending.
Ifthere's anything Bub of the Miner likes
it is a controversy with crazy Chinawo-
man. OF course he overmatches himself
every time but be thinks its all right.
The Sawtelle Company are not going TO
present I" Pinafors" to Bub. He isn't big
enough yet for that kind of garment and
the dry goods stores happen to be out of
the other lust &C present.
They Say Bub got 40 hot when he read
last weeks NEW NORTH WEST that he
burnt small hole in the chair, dropped
through to the floor and started a soft corn
on his nose. Try Mrs. Winslow's soothing
syrup, and Jackson's oil.
It was rumo.ed last week that some gen
tlemen were about to purchase an interest
In the Miner. The trade was not consum-
mated because the selling party wanted to
throw the editor in.
The Miner infant got away from, his
nurse one day recently, went into Main
street store, tip-toed up the counter and
asked to see " some pantaloons with pock-
cts in them" "Run away, sonny" said
the polite dealer, I've don't keep children's
sizes here"
"Bub 10 getting proud. He signs his
contributions now and is so egotistical be
writes his name at the head of the article.
A recert one was thus signed: GA Phe-
uomepal Fool" He knows bis name if he
is fool.
Bub, Of the Miner, went home Sunday, |
L.. I'm nd cold 1
he wanted to die. "Why, baby, what's the |
matter?" Matter enough. All the boys |
are pokng fun at me. was fool for
getting into that Internal scrape with The |
NEW NORTHWEST and now l can't see |
how am TO get out of it. thought it |
would be popular here to say mean things
about Deer Lodge and Deer Lodge people, |
so pitched in and was getting away with |
it until one day the NEW NoRTH-W sat
down on me for slandering a judicial Off
Ger. had written out OF pure cussedness
and when it came to show down had
neither fact nor argument TO sustain myself,
30 had TO blackguard the editor OF the
NEW NORTH WEST. thinking he would
treat me With silent contempt and let me
ont But, instead OF that he ridiculed me
and all the boys are standing in with him,
calling ME Bub' and saying Hello,
Bub, you're late for school again. and
where's your Pinaforer and them thea
tire folks say they're going to put on that
street scene,' and-and wish had never
left Utah"
s.Oh, we'll, that will come all right. You
MADE fool Of yourself, as usual, but If
you 90 along and behave yourself the NEW
NORTH WEST will not modest you. IL Is
never the aggressor in these Things, and be-
sides suppose only few copies come here.
You can slain around the hack streets until
1t is forgotten"
"Ouly few copies? You 60 and ask
the Butte postmaster and he'll tell you the
NEW NORTH w EST has nearly three hum
dred subscribers right in Butte and the
anraber is increasing every week. DIN
that overgrown brute OF an editor wish
he would die. Give me some soothing syr-
up and put me to bed"