The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-06-10

"BoY," said gentleman to tho host
Ter OF hotel, on alighttny from his
ph;gton, "cxtrtcato that quadruped
from tho vehicle, stabulato him, donate
him an adequate supply Of nutritious
allmcnt, and when the aurora Of morn
Ing shall again Illuminate the oriental
| horizon will award thee u peeuniary
compensation for thine admirable
hospitality"
JONES says: GIVE all oyster locomt =
tiou ana the tive senses, and he might
be the rhinocer0S OF tho sea-" He
might be; but We hope no generous
person Will give bin those things. The
price OF halfa dozen fried oysters as
large as Il rhinoUerOs would strike away
beyond the margin OF most editors
pocket-books; and a couple Of spoiled
oysters of such dimensions would de-
populate Il town.
A LECTURER on optics, in explaining
the mechanism Of the organ OF vision,
remarked: Let any man gaze closely
into his wifc's oye, and he will see HIM
self SO exceedingly small that Here
the lecturer saw smile on the faces of
his audience, and abruptly stopped.
A CAPITAL anccdote Is told OF a little
fellow who In turning over tho leaves
of q scrap-b0ok came across tho we'll
known picture Of some chickens just
out Of their shell. "My companion
examined the picture carefully, and
then, with grave, sagacious look at
me slowly remarked, "They came out
'cos they was afraid of being boiled"
CIT Is said that the male wasp
does not sting" But as a male and
female wasp wear the same kind of
polonaise, and look as much like as
twins, tho only way to distinguish
their Sex Is to cntch one and examine
its arsenal. IT 1t stings you it is fe-
male /; 1t not, 1t ls gentle nan wasp.
a CLASS Of primary children were
buisly engaged In their reading les
sons; they read in order something
like the following: "The hat is in the
box" 1.-The man is in tho box"
"The rat Is in the boX.'' "Thc cat is
In the box" When suddenly up came
little chubby hand, the sign of per-
mission to speak. "Well, what is it,
Matte ?" said the teacher. "I should
fink g bux 'ood be full after WHILE"
"PAPA," said he, az he was shown
some pictures in a book Santa Claus
had left him; "papa, why does camels
have such punches on their backs ?"
Tho information received not being
very satisfactory, he at length solved
the difficulty himself. "Why, know,
papa,' said he; 'it's SOS they'll be
camels - Which must be the reason.
ADA, aged four. who was doing
something, and was told to desist by
her mother. Mother-"Ala, am [ to
speak to you again ?" Ada-'Yes, ma,
you may If you like"
Two young men out riding were
passing Il farmhouse where Il farmer
was trying to harness a mule. "Won't
he draw ?" said one of the horsemen.
cor course he wili," said the farmer;
she draws The attention Of every fuol
tha5 passes"
"JANE," said Il fond mother, stirkin.
he head out Of the bedroom door," il Is
/ o'clock. Tell the young nun to
please shut the front door from the
Outside."
The wise mother avoidcth teaching
her daughter how to cook, and
when that daughter gets married the
visits Of the mother-in-law are always
welcome.
y little boys remark In school, at
POttsville, Ind, that he knows good
way to- kill babies, which was by throw
ing them out Of a window, led to the
liEroynrIy of a phil1 ,nnrlOr
rnE latest wrinkle in East Boston
"socicty" Is % have printed visiting
card with small photograph of the
''party' pasted on the upper lett-hand
corner. This really elegant style one
dollar hundred.
AN exchange eausually remarks,
"Bcttcr late than hardly ever"
In Palestine, Texas, the thermometer
registered ninety degrees the other day.
ARE tight boots ever drunk
.-r1-a-..a...a-.
TO Travellers by Sea and Land.
The effect Of change Of air and OF
travel ls to produce Constipation, which
Is followed by Headache, Piles, and q
general disarrangement Of the system.
The Stomach, already nauseated, gags
at the very sight Of pill. while other
mixtures, sWeetencd or not sweetcneu,
or acid, arc revolving. Nothing Of the
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