The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-05-26
4 PROOF.REkDER.
What the Yevt spriemIaA ,Fini9a Sssals1s. aid
what il Expecfs to Set

' !
In the advertising columns Of the
Times, Sunday, appeared the following
want: 's.'.s ~ ~
WAxfkb-Ail intelligent we'll educated, in
dustrious proof-reader, either married or single
Must be thoroughly temperate; good
position for a number-one man. Address
Comp, Times Office, s'l 9. 9..tf "sts "I'''
Now, innocent as that unostentatious
card appears, it was productive OF more
trouble than anything that has appeared
In the city ptess for many a day. There
were no less than seven hundred and
fourteen letters received up to Sunday
hight. and en- Monday the humber was so
great that they could not be counted up
to the time of going to press Samples
Of the lot are as followsi
q Mr.. CoMP: / am proof-reader Of some
experience, though my mother was a dutch
men. I am we'll educated in the United States,
SO hope you will find me all right am a
widowers'
q DEAR stR; / speak German. French, Eng
lish, Portuguese and Spanish. Have been
civil engineer, doctor and lawyer of considerable
repute; also an editor and politician. As
proof-read I know I-#ould be q success, al
though confess ti6vef tried it."
"HoNoRED SIR: Win you give me sling at
your proofs for a day or SO ? If don't make
it lively for the boys down stairs, and red hot
for the boys up, count me out. / am Sanscritj
Chinook and Kanaka ,proof-reader!
' &c am, f-a d. j. c."
" Dear Sir am pore %idower with four
small children to sport likewise one eye which
the other was lost in smallpox some time ago,
feel as thou could give satisfaction if i tried
and anything-to help along in these times.
haven't drunk drop for FIVE month having
had no money" And so on. f.f-
Now, not one person out of ten thou
sand has any idea what prOof-reader is
or ought to be. So, for the benefit of
those who haven't as yet put in their
application, we will give the standard
qualifications required: a.g
ra 1. A competent proof-reader should
be wall-eyed, to enable him to understand
at first glance a sentence so mixed up by
the I. C.-intelligent cOmpositor-that
no one else in the wide world, not even
its author, would be able to understand
or recognize it. ...... .......
2 He must be so unfamiliar with
Shakespeare, French, Latin, and common
proverbs as to be able, conscientiously,
to change and ruin any quotation which
may be made by the ignorant but well
meaning gentlemen who run the editorial
rooms, ... ....... ... .......s.-. .........
3. He must be quick at punctuation,
and able instantly to detect the exact
place where a comma may be inserted so
as to completely alter the sense of a
sentence, and make the author foam at
the mouth and tear his hair the next
day. 80 -,.,........ ......... 4
i. He must be possessed Of calmness,
coolness and precision, SO that he may
gently, but firmly, meet the excited ex-
postulations of the city, telegraph and
managing editors with that steadfast
glare which alone can render them
speechless and idiotic.
5. He must have grammar and the
dictionary at his fingers ends, that when
he comes to particularly choice sentence
he may be able either to make it un-
grammatical at a stroke, or so change a
word as to completely ruin the sense. !