davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
THE NEW SEAL

of !he Worlds Dispensary Medical Associa-
ton of Buffalo, Of which DR.. r. V. Pierce
is president, consisting of a figure of Aescul-
aplus, the Father OF Medicine, surmountng
the globe, tiuy symboises the worldwide
reputation gained by the family medicines
of DR.. Pierce now manufactured by this IN
corpnraIed company and sold in all parts of
the world. With a mammnuth establish.
ment, the Worlds Dispensiy aud luvdlid's
Hotel IN Bulialo,aud cnrrespondiugly large
branch establishment in LONDON, this As
socintion make medicines for the whole
wnrld-not ouly that but they personally
examine aud treat with SPECIAL medicines
thousands of eases Among the most cele-
brated 0l the prnprietaryn ar family medicines
are DR.. Pierces Golden NJ, dicaI Discovery
the grat hlnni purilycr, aud DR.. Pierce 5
Pleasant Purg,tive Pellets little p'lls),-
ant DR.. Plerce's Compound Extract of
SIN ,rl- Weed for buwel affections. colds and
painful attacks, as crlrr, neuralgia, and
rhrumatlsm,- m,-Fuvorte Prescription lurn-
! ishrs rrllrl from female weaknesses, aud
kindred affections. All sold by druggists.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
Stern parentto Young America "v

Stern plrentto Young America; "When
I was your age, sir, got up at five, cooked
my own breakfast, and cleaned my own
boots" Young dutful "Yes, but then you
hadn't got me about you who know the
ropes, to set you better example"
"A man was arrested recently in New
York for stealing newspapers. lie had a
mania for his apparently profitable thiev'
cry. lie had stolen, in thirteen months
II 900 newspapers, and his room ln"ked like
the humorous column Of a 81. Louis luper.
About every tenth man Is go'd for moth
ing except lo be stretched over a hole in q
leaky roof He sjust about active enough
to succeed 10 that occupation.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
mIGIa ART IN syysNULINC.

Two fellows whose money was almost en-
tire!y expended, determined that wea thy
hotel keeper should he the means of replen-
ishing their purses. Accordingly, one of
them, giving up what money he had tn the
"therS entered the premises ot the selected
victim, while his confederate kept out of
sight. The visitor inquired for the land
lord tn whom he prupounded the query
Can you give me good dinner? or course
the resources Of the establishment We're equal
to such n demand, aud in few minutes the
good dinner was served and duly discussed.
Then came the question "f payment, but the
guest had no money, and pointed out to his
host that, had he possessed the needrul, he
should have ordered what he had consumed
in the usual manner; that he had simply
sought information concerning the ability Of
the house and the inclination of its owner
to supply him with a good dinner, and was
much obliged for the same. A policeman
was called in, but the decision leaned tow
ards the impecun ious diner; it might be
considered debt but the criminal law could
do nothing. The guest departed. The land
lord ground his teeth.
Not long after this number two arrived
with the query, Can you give me good dim
ner? A smile Of terrible meaning crossed
the landlords face. Yes, yes, he replied !
take a seat. He FASTENED out and returned
with a bucket of water, which with his own
hands he dashed over the applicant for the
good dinner, who thereupon jumped to his
feet and demanded an explanation of such
extraordinary treatment. Ha ha laugh
ed the ucensed Boniiace, as he glared about
| for something wherewith TO chastise the oh
ect of his wrath-ha ha you fellows can't
fool me twice in the same way. The visitor
appeared astouuded the landlord appeared
anxious to kick the visitor out A violent
scene occurred. The would be guest was
denomnated a swindler and a robber. The
officer Of the law was again summoned and
each made charges against the other. The
| infuriated host called in his solicitor. Th'
visitor decla red that he was perfectly able
and willing to pay for what he required ex
hibited his money, threatened proceeding
for assault and battery,n and vowed he woulc
bring his action for SANDER as well. Th'
landlords solicitor considered his client wa
getting cheaply out Of the scrape by payml
down fifty pounds as as a soiatium for tn
wounded feelings and the wet clothes ,
swlndler No. 2.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
TruIs AND rruAT.
-smgular-To see a garden walk.

-smgulsr-To see a garden walk.
Two Of kino-a yoke Of oxen.
job was probably the FIRST doctor, as he
hal patients.
"A mosquito is always ready to put in
an appropriation bill.
-Flat-irony-Knocking a man down
with a railroad spike.
IT a baby is born on the Fourth of July
will the sky rocket?''
How to get along without blottcr while
writing Write with lead pencil.
The angels of the Sunday school are
sometimes the demons of the melon patch.
Prosperous people can give good coun-
sci, for it costs them nothing, and they like
~ do it.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
ana nor 1ri,h rhe s,onc-nrul.n.

There was an important medical consul
tation in the rear of a Woodward avenue
grocery recently. mite of boy not over
seven years old, who sells morning papers
was seated ON a box in the center of the
circle, and six or eight older heads were ex-
anining a stone-bruise on his foot.
al don't claim TO know everything about
doctorng," remarked one of one the boys,as
be finished his examination, "but I've had
over forty stone-bruises and know this ere
one is ripe enough TO pick"
"oopp gasped the small boy on the box
as he drew his foot under him.
"That's jist the way one of these rats take
on" remarked a boy with a freckled lace.
"Fore was his age had more'n forty stone
bruises, all bgger'n that one, and used to
cry to have my mother pick 'em with a
broken dernin' needle. I'd give two shil-
lis il had one now, cause l know how
good 'twould feel to have it opened"
9TH hurt awlully," pleaded the small
boy.
allow Gurus a small boy is, 1" replied one
of the "doctors" as he felt all over mis- coat
for a pin. "Last summer had so many
stone. bruises that you couldn't sec my feet,
and as fast as they were ripe opened 'enI
with that ere jack.knre ! got of Tommy
Howell. l was in such hurry that |
couldn't sleep nights, and itneyer hurt bit.
| tell you that was an awful good knife to
pare apples and open stone bruises p
81 druther leave il till she busts," argued
the small! boy as his chin quivered aud the
chills crept up his back.
"Ive got brother only two years old
who'd let us open his stone-bruise quick us
a wink" said one of the crowd. IL guess
this boy is baby and a coward, and |
guess he wants some sugar in rag. Come
on boys-we don't want to 'sociate with
cowardsl |"
al tell ye amt afraid !" exclaimed the
small boy as he boldly pushed his foot to
the from.
"Course he amt )" put in the largest boy
of the crowd, as he patted him on the back.
Why, PlI bet this ere boy is just banker
ing for me to pick that stole bruise. It'll
all be over in minute and won't hurt a
bit, and he'll feel SO happy that he'll go
out on the corner and lick a Pulack boy
twice as big as he is. Where's that ere
shawl pin ?'
al ain't afraid, but-but druther wait
till tomorrow" replied the rat, us his teeth
shook together.
he big boy wnked and nodded, and
one boy seized the rat by the leg aud others
by the body.
"o-h-h-h you'll kill mel know you
will"
"Hold right still now if you want twelve
big pcarsl'
"And bean-shooter," added second.
"And hat full Of peaches" put in the
third.
"And dog with bell on said the boy
who was holding the leg.
ard just as leaf have it done as not, but
murder murder !" screamed the rat.
Half dozen people rushed down to the
alley to find the cause of the alarm, and one
OF them cried out:
"What on earth are you boys doing?"
"DoiDg?" echoed the Ii boy us he gave
the bruise last squeeze--"why, we've jist
made a successful operation ON the wicked
est stone bruise you ever heard tell of, AMI
if some relapse or other don't set in this ere
boy kin kick a salt barrel with both feet to
oneet in lessn half an huur!"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

The wise daughter is the pride Of her
father, yea, her mother doth delight in
her; but the fnolish maiden bringeth snr-
row. She hangeth on the front gate; she
tippeth up her hat over her left ear. Her
eye is full of the Old Nick. She glancelh
over her shoulder when she promenades on
Main Street Her handkerchief is always
seen. Then the dry goods clerk says, "Hn
hap lie smileth tn himself he maketh
mistakes in the measure Of calico.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
Ladies', wine-spcer,s Port.

Pure-four years old will not intoxicate
but possessing all the valuable medicinal
properties Of the oporto grape, from which
il is made Used in hospitals and by first
class physicians as the best known wine for
medical purposes. 1t is a tonic and astrin-
gent. 1t is rot mixed with alcohol or other
liquors, but a mild, rich and pleasant tonic,
improving the appetite and promoting di-
gcstion as diuretic it acts beuelicially on
the kidneys and corresponding organs; os a
sudorlfc, il acts upon the skin, destroying
eruptons, and producing a soft, healthy and
blooming complexion. Therefore it is eX-
tensively and benefcally used by ladies,
and is in general family use as II sure RENE
dy for dysentary, and for all nervous, weak
and deblitated persons Sold by druggists
aud by a. Speer, at his own vineyard, N. .J.
For sale by a. j. Durling, Lehighton.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
Speer,s Port Grape Wine.

This article Of American Wine is highly
esteemed by the best physlcians m this
country. The following is testimonial we
saw from the New York Hospital. We pub
lsh it for the information ot our readers;
NEW YORK, Nov. IA.
| am using speer's Port Grape Wine and
find it tn be an excellent tonic and gentle
stinulent, aud as such I believe It prefer
able to the commercial Port, aud all other
wines, as il POSSESSES their tnnic propcrties
without the delcIerious effect ctused BY their
impurities. II is slso very palata5le, and
tins is recommendation 10 many, especial
ly females.
S. s. HARRIs, NJ. D., y. Y. Hospital.
This is an excellent article for family use,
aud for female, Fol sale by A. J. Du.liug,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

Why do oil would be-wise people try
to look stern +? Because the wisest Of them
was soLEMN-'UN.
-"Hang that gate /" yelled an old judge,
as he tunbled over it in the dark, and his
servant went out and hung it.
If you want lawyers to work with a
will give them a will to work with, especi-
ally where the estate is large and the heirs
quurrelsome.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
inventor. and Patentces

Should send for instructions, terms, referen-
ces, &c., to Edison Brothers, Solicitors of Pat
ents, Washington, ID. o., who furnish the
same without charge. Edison Brothers is a
we'll known aud successful firm of large eX-
perience, having been estatl in 1885,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

Not SO fast my friend; if you could see
the strong, healthy, blooming men, women
and children that have been raised from
beds ol sickness, suffering and almost death
by the use of Hop Bitters, you would say,
"Glorious and invaluable remedy" See
another column.-Phaadeiphia Press.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
NAAH II Great chance to make money
EBHH UH We need n person IN every
to take subscri ptOns for


Illust' atcd family publication in The world
Auv one can become n successful agent. Six
elegant WORKS Of art gwen free TO subscriber
The price is so low that almost everybOd sub
scriOts. one agent reports taKinE l20 SuOsctl-
ners IN n day. ~ lady agent repOri s making
S20' clear profit IN ten days. All who engage
make money last. You can devOue all yOur
time to the business, or only yolr spare ume
You need not be away T. om home Uv + night
You can do 1t as wed rs oil hers Full directions
aud erm> free. EleP1n and expensive Outfit
fr @. II YOU want profitable work send us your
address at once. lJ Gusts nothing 20 lly the
business. M one who engages fai > to maRe
Rlo It nav. Ad ness GEORGE STINSON u
CO.. Portland. Mime. June 2G-lv.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

I'VE saw a man with his jaw tied up
the other day. We asked what it meant.
a friend told us he was a Republican, and
had heard from Maize and had to tie up
his jaw To prevent lreadlng on it.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

"A good whskey sling-Sling the bottle
out of the window.
"A farmer can raise mortgage with a
plough more readily than with derrick.
No principle is more noble, as there is
none more holy, than that of true obedience.
There are few occasions when cere-
mony may not be easily dispensed with,
kindness never.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

'shcVoItaic BELT Co, Marshall, NIich.
win send their celebrated Electro Voltaic
Belts to the afflicted upon 30 days trial.
Speedy cures guaranteed. They mean what
they say. Write tn them without delay.
novl2-ly.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

The constant dripping uf water will wear.
the hardest stone 50 the constant hacking
cough will undermine the haruiCst cOnStlu-
tiUn. AvOid this fatal result 10y using >ines
SYrup OF Inr. " i'd NueIrN ana Hon Thound.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
BY USING DR.. GERMANS COUGH AID coNsuMP'
TION CURE.
Warranted to give relief or money refunded.

READ THE FOLLOWING LETTER WHICH SAYS f:
Messrs. lIcwarth & Ballard.
Gentlemen: l take pleasure in recommen.
ding DR.. Germans Cough and Consumption
Cure, as have suffered with severe cough
since last May. Have used all kinds OF
cough mixtures, but could get no relief.
Mornings after getting up from my bed
would be so choked up that could hardly
breathe; also frequently v"mited severely.
A friend directed me 10 use DR.. Germans
Cough and Consumption Cure. did 50,
but with little taith at the time, but after
using changed my mind, and can con-
scirntiously say, after taking only one bottle
did not only obtain relief but am not
troubled with that iullness in the morning.
My cough has stepped, and | can obtain II
good nights sleep--sOmetning not enjoyed
by me Tor weeks before. VIII close by say
ing i this letter will be Of any benefit to
you, You may have my consent TO make 1t
public. Yours very respectfully,
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
VUIs VT TV'I'VVVTWITN
J. L. DOOSHAER

III Bleecker ST., Utica.
Remember after using Z of bottle and
you are not satisfied return the bottle and
get your money as we sell no cure, no pay,
price 80 cents aud 81 per bottle. As we are
author zed to sell ON these terms. Agent for
Lehighton and vicinity, a. j. During.
Nov. S-ly. c. o. W.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

Its easier to tie knot in bulls horn
than to make your wife believe that every
other night is lodge night.
When two woman with new hats on
pass each other in the street there is a pair
of back stares built Immediately.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
PLUSH HATS AND PLUMES,
all colUrs, very cheap.
General Election Proclamation !

Pursuant to an act of the General Assembly
OF the CommOnweal til o. PennsylVaui. ent I'd
An act elutluG to elections in his LOmmO q.
wealth." approved the Il raw Oi Ju V, Ammo
DOmnn, one trOnsnnC eight hundred and hlrtY.
niue, and II III III sr supp ement to that act ap
prove lnu ~ 81 1874, l, THOM s KOONS.
Sh rff uf tde County OF CarhOl PennsY;V IA,
do Le"tby mae knOwn AMI give notice to the
t &c .Ors of the county aforesaid tlit an elt C..
ton Wi be held In the sad County OF Carbon
ON THE TU ESDNY AFIER THE FIRST
MONDE Y IN NOVEMBER being
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
STOP TllAT COUGH.

Forget the services you have done to
others it is their place to remember them.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

THE
Cleveland Cooperative Stove Co.
CLEVELAND, OHIO, CHICAGO, ILL,
ST. LOUIS, MO-, ST. PAUL, MINN.
The most Extensive Manufactures Of
STOVES AND HOLLOW WARE
IHE
UNITED STATES.
The most Extensive Manufacturers Of

Employ no Travelling Statesmen, and
sell Tor cash inside so days, hence have no
bad debts and can give to their customers in the
way ofow Iri es an amount equal 20 the saving thus
effected, which experience has shown 70 be fi l5 per
esal Style and cai,h of wor, ua7uipasssd Periee-
toa Of operation gaasaeoI of every stove manuiae-
tered hy iii, Company Their line q Cook and
eatng Stoves f57 every liad ef iae! h az equaed in
eS;c=t a-d ar.ey a=I the.r nae iufae71 i5F either
hard o. asc co- s-e the most rcT-ei yea produced.
A.. ycur Csascr for stoves OF tho
Cleveland Cooperative stove Cots
make.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

m1n Outfit furni, he'd free with ful lnstruc
Mi tous tore nduclins tae most proiiraule
WV business INIT any one con eng &c M
The lsinczz rs So easy Go learu,aUd our ms Tuf-
tIuus are 20 slu le aud ~ ~ tiH am, nee can
m BE great lruhi- &c. m a. e. very ftilt. no cue
cin Iul ] d q wil iag 90 work. Women ace as
sUCg 1-- fu as men. Bows and rr,s cun earn
large suus. Nauy have mat over Que hu urUd
do IurS b. anrle W eK. Nothing Ike % ever
In1Hu OciOru Wtn @ gage are su r,srd g
tut tHsn ana 40 u o. " th WHICH one alr na e
tn mako none You q % ctHu lu th.s lfs-
30 n DARING Yuur spare tim a * ear uruIl -
Aol uu not INV tliuycst amy rHa.iqliu TO- Wo
take H The rsE. rlu WAo nret q fdv money
fhluid VT O. O. us 70 oucr. AN lurul hel free,
Addio TRU & CO., August1, Name.
Oct. 2, isS.-lYF
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

Honor yourself and you will be honor
ed despise yourself and you will be de-
spsel
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

A mans great ambition is to be credit
ed with some great ieatj womans to be
credited with small feet.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

To the Working Class We are Low p epar
I'd To IA nj N hii classes WI COnstaui emo OY-
meat Mt nome. tnr whole OF ne Ume or Tor
their pare moments. Bus'uess new lICht aud
fIOftsp,s Pc rs Of 81 he rex e'sIly IN
II IN 81 Cehts tn - Der ev 'Ttug. aad pr pOr-
tinnal sum OY Gcvntmg their whole ims 60 the
busluas.. BOYS nd uiIls eH n Heally uch
as m n. Thlt all VIII ee this notice may sen0
the ,ddre and te The business We maze
this one; To su'n AS are not wei san neu,
We vii, send one col ar 20 pay for the n ouble
Of Whiting. Fun uaIt'culars ami tit ttee.
Address, GEORGE STINaON & CO, Port.
sud, Maine. July iovi.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
GEO. w. EsSER,

General Agent for carbon, Monroe and Pike
counties. County Buildings; Muuch Chuok.
Carbon county. Pa. feb. l4.-ti
CHARLES LENTZ, agent for WGisspOrt
parryvllle and Franklin township.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30
Benefit of the Assurance.
ENDOWMENT PLAN

Bv waving one unifOr mepb bership fee Of $40
any person, mate or female, between the ages
OF IS aud ~ wears who has first class health
thlp as tolOwsi
IS to 90 s. 0o-pnyable at death or ut oxpira.
ton OF % wears.
80 to q2--siW0-pnyable at death OF at expi.
ration OF 20 years
a to 4-s3,00)-payabie at death or cxpira-
tiun Ut IS years,
81 10 Go-s2 oOo-payable at death or expira-
ton Of 10 ears.
An assessment Of one dollar upon each mem.
bec Will Oe made after each death, except when
there is money enough In surplus fund to pay
sald claim.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-30

The older a sparkling coquette or a
fashionable belle grows the more matehless
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-03-20
I'm the Wilds of Guiana.

After passing the Rappu Rapids we saw our
nrSt cayman, particularly StOlid fellow, some
10 feet in length. He kept swimming on his
course without taking the slightest notice OF u.s.
At Apoterie, at the junction Of the Esseuuibo
and Rupunun1, the old chief, Joseph, keeps q
perfect menagere Of parrots, macaWs, toucans
trumpeC-D1rdS, maa, Sea-gullS, mOnkeyS dogs
account, turtles slothS, ducks and fowls, all ap.
parently quite tame, and roaming about as IL
they had no wish to leave the spot. 1 here pur-
CHASED seven ripe bananas for f1sh-hook
CoDooroWs, kind Of sandfly, and mosquitoes
troubled us grievously in our course up the Ru-
pununi. The former bit vtciously during the
day, and the mosquitoes had their innings at
night. gave shirt to each of my Indians for
their protection against the bloOd-sucking and
clustering coboorow, but their legs were still ex-
posed. For myself. l was compelled to put on
proceeding on my part, for till we came to the
Rupunun1 had been able to revel In the COM
tort OF being free from these and Sundry other
articles OF conventional attire. On the second
night OF our being in the Rupununi, few hours
after we had retired to rest, an immense tree
c Cos Dy us 6roke ana fell, causing most ap-
Pah1ng crash In the still night My Indians
Imagined that an evil spirit had done it to annoy
Them, and called out to the prosecutor to leave
Them alone. They averred that they were car
Tying white man into their country and that
II tne spirit did not behave himself better the
whie man would take dire revenge This spe-
cleS OF suPerstitfous regard for the white mans
Iavelers That confess should be sorry to see
u ispened; The evil spirit, II such there was
oDedlentiy left US, and quietness came back. II
was loVeiy, Oalmy morning. q soft breeze lust
SURFING; ana II 1t had not been for the moS(lui-
toeS, existence just then would have been per-
ts ;ey placid ana delightful; without question
Bar