The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-10-09
MISCELLANEOUS.

A drink for the sick-Well water.
N When the moon gets full 1t keeps late hours
Temperance refOrmers should turn their atten-
fiOn TO money-iE is always tight.
No true gentleman will ask lady if her coral
swelry is made Of scaling wax
,st Theatres are not considered unhealthy places,
bnt lots Of people end their days in them.
A competing hotel out West says generously
% another that 80 it stands without arrival"
=" IN join you presently" said the minister to
he young couple, as be went for the church key
Bob IngersoIl's banner bears the strange devlce
q 2 Ex-hell-sir =
Stopping a busy man on the street and taking
PIP his time is simply highway robbery. ~.
- An ounce Of keep-your-mOuth-shut is better
-than pound Of explanations after you have said
Friendship is a vessel that sails aloog very nice
ly and prettily a calm sea. When there q
changs in the weather it often becomes a cutter.
~ Our lives are unsOwn gardens
Where. " the hours.
We may grow thorns and brAmbles.
or grow the rArsst flowers.
AtmOspherical knowledge is not thoroughly
distributed TO our schools. boy being asked,
:. What is mist - vaguely responded, &" An um-
1kelIa-"
With regard to the bill legalizing marriage
NTH a deceased wife sister, one great advantage
seems to have been overlooked, VIZ, that a man
d nay have two (Or perhaps mOre) wives and only
one mother-in-lau.
y A young lady remarked that she should like
10 have bicycles so arranged that she and her
beau could both ride. Being asked where her
allow should sit, she emphatieaIly replied. :. On
he little wheel behind, OF course" And still
the young men 90 on marrying.
The latest shade Of hair Is ecru IL ism Z exactly
,brown, exactly red or exActly yellow, bat color
c0nabining softer tints Of all three. OF course
ecru hair would be amazingly unbecoming to
,vnnng gentlemen. unless perhaps stray long
heir or two might look well on their coat collars
of their father as "governor, "pater." ''the
ogerseer," &c. Here are more civilized. We
~ udad :" the s'boss," or "the old man. In
/. ksathen countries they say "father 4" but they
Are always behind the age
They say that Masonic emblems were dis
1psered under she Egyptian obelisk when it got
ready TO emigrate to America. We don't doubt
II Iii O.. very old order. What prophet was
who applied for charter We don't know how
many hundred years ago, when he said some
hing about 's lodge in garden of cucumbers ?'
..Heury il 80 practical " said Mrs. Young
wife 'sWhsn mother went into the country
ihst year Henry sent all her things after her the
very next day he saId she might want some Of
khem, YOU know. and its kind or funny" she
went on, smother did want them, for she has
never come back to live with rs since. Wasn't
it queerf" s4U .Itl
I The Name experiment OF Offering rewards to
3boys Ior successful farm work s to be initiated in
Vermont. Two Of the trustees Of the State uni
vorsity have offered $50 in prizes to boys not
over seventeen years OF age for the best crops Of
y potatoes and corn on one-eighth Of an acre. The
asSienfiGe American thinks the practice is good
one and might be wisely adopted with benefit to
o1r agricultural interests as well TO the boys.
- President Seguier never spared the lawyers in
hls court and some Of his remarks concerning
khen were quite in the savage vein Of Czar
Peter When the docket was called one day a suit
tixas named where neither advocate was present ::
!. Go on with the case, - said the president
fleefnlly -" Now we have chance OF getting
.Se the truth" On another occasion. where only
t<ns side was present; g Let him argue both
= sdes," said Said Seguier, setting himself in his
rhair, /" Begin now for the plaintiff. -
A Cambridge mother sent her small boy into
tke country, and after q week OF anxiety has re-
,siyed khls letter l got here all right and for
s.1ot 20 write before it 10 q very nice place to
ave fun A Teller and went out in q boat, and
<he boat tipped over, and a man got me out and
was 30 fullof water didn't know nothing for
good long while. The other boy has got to be
&uried when they find him. His mother came
<ron ChsEaea and sbe cries all the time boss
licked me over and i have got to have some
money % paw a doctor fof fixing my head. We
Ire gazing 70 set 40 old barn on nre to-nignt and
should smile If We don't have bully fun.
.ost my watch and l am very sorry. shall
bring home some mudturkles and shall bring
home q tame wOodehuck il i can get EN- IN my
trunk aILlHs
ssfnose boys Of mine" a. Mr. George Coppin
oalls his pstrons in the Cd gallery. are emart
~oune rascals. There is good bit OF dry and
orExinal hnmour amongst some Of them The
svaT they throw in gag now and sgain is really
.amueng / think told the yarn about the re-
nlg ane Of them made when Mrs. Emma Bntten
1sstnuipg one Sunday at the Royal She was do
ing sczf Of sentimental questioning, and asked
IN solAlan manner two or three times, "Why
.rls b0EnS Why was / born? when q "god :"
unx out. alaid the silence, 81 give it up,
Emma" "Well, on Saturday night, when Sen
<ccs 70 Death was being played, old HoyIey
snnyle, in q sort Of husky whisper. says, 'The
n0tas-aha IL have them. What shall deoo
with them 3'' when greedy. grimy-faeed young
.eherrb replied, ''Sling EN- up here, old man, y
This was TOO much for the house, and there was
. general roar.-MsD0urRe Weekly Times.