Connecticut western news., 1880-01-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

l A good resolution may come like flash, but it takes year to keep it. ,c
 It is easy 10 run down the accom- plishments of your neighbor, but harder to run ahead of them. '
 -Here's a health to poverty. It 1 sticks to man when all his friends for sake him. ''.'..'' ''''' s'' '''" 't,r There is now and then thing which the more it is out the longer 1t grows-a ditch, for example. at-
 The label upon bottle of ague remedy, requesting the patient to shake we'll before usiig, is auperauoais.
 But few men can handle a hot lamp chimney and say there is no place like home at the same time.
 A writer on physiognomy wants to know If large ears denote generosity, why mule squanders his hind legs"
 An American would submit to be looked up in a railroad car just long enough to enable him to kick the door down. -.'''-
 The man who at the end of this life has g receipt in full of all demands from men will have more than an ordinary amount of credit to begin the next life with. .... ....,r.
 The man who acts on impulse will find himself when near the goal just three paces hebind the man who acts on conviction. ''' '' .', '"'''- 1.''-
 It takes 22S dogs to make feast for the Pawnee Indians, and even then some of the children get nothing but the wishbone. % a,, a'.ls ai l:-fe,s z t
 Happy is he who has learned this one thing-to do the plain, duty of the moment, quickly and cheerfully, what ever it may be. ..s..4. l,,. .a ,sl An, exchange heads an article: "The Digestion of on Ostrich" Who would suppose anybody could be so foolish as to eat an ostrich 2
 "" Let the toast be-dear woman I" as the hungry husband said to his wife, who was in hurry to clear off the break fast table. ..........1 .1....- -The gate keeper of Western toll bridge was discharged recently because he always allowed his sweetheart to pass | over free. |" '-H 9 ,s.-"'''&H ''i. '.'.-
 Note from the diary of swell :--"T have observed that my habits are very elastic in one direction l suspect l could live up to almost any income"
 
 According to the Times nearly every one in Chicago swore of oD the lst-swore off on everything but ad- mitting the sizs of St. Louis.
 .-The Boston Post thinks that King Alfonso possesses charmed lite. He has been married twice and shot at twice, and yet he lives. .,s.'.....I .,tt
 The editor of an Illinois daily paper says that he does not depend upon jour nalism for his daily bread, but raises hens, We wonder whose hens he straises." ,'- a',',.'.,. '~,."aa s..l jt,ls
 An antiquarian has discovered that the reason why the aucients took the owl for an emblem of wisdom was because he saved his talk and filled his stomach. al. .u.t ...l. .a d.4sa A sailor is not a sailor when he is Q board: sailor is not 6 sailor when be fs shore but he must be either ashore or aboard therefore, @ sailor is not sailor. ..j3 7. e ..;.... .a -.G- l -" Conductor (to Brown, who is pretty nearly pumped out with running l to catch his express 'bus) -" All right, sir, all right; don't furry yourself, you're a-gaining." ..~s, .-@4 s..l
 --"My boy, said a father to his young son, sttreat everyone with politeness even those who are rude to you, For remember that you show courtesy to others, not because they are gentlemen, but because you are one" ..i .4s
 A stranger dropped a wallet con- taining $5,0OO on the streets of Fair Play, Col., and the citizens let 1t lie there until he came back for it. They thought it was some new feature in- troduced into the string game. ais
 -Uounterfeit coin never succeeds in spelling the character of gold i" 1t only compels one to ring every piece on the counter. So pretenoe never harms re- Iigion; it only makes men little more watchtu1. , "e.. .'.l '",a.i.t7 ,,
 The colored philosopher of Virginia who has demonstrated that the earth IS square now declares that the! moon is triangular, and admits, naturally, that for triangular body it is the roundesi looking thing he ever saw. $. ...l
 We are never without pilot. When E we know not how to steer and dare mol , hoist a sail, we can drift. The current knows the way, though we do not. The ship of Heaven guides itself, and wll not accept a wooden rudder. .-[ Emerson [ Flasher, having had his portrait painted, asks the opinion of his friend , Dabba, O retired house-painter. Dabos "Well, it's like you; but if you've paid 925 for it, you've been done. Why ? there ain't half pound of psint on the : whole thing! ''''' '''.''' -"My dear," asked grocer of his t wife, " do you think it is true that mar wants but little here below P'r The wife replied: "That sometimes depends t whether he has to pay cash down or not D If you trust some men they'll take al @ they can get " '''' NJ '''.ez. '.-''.s 6 In Be rlin one day recently soldie t bet another a large sum of money tha X he couldn't empty a quart bottle O @ champagne at one draught. HeaskAt g for half an hour to think it over, whicl o was granted. When he returned h