Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-02
The Brakeman Who Went to Church

!
Hawkeyc, and must he true--to some ex-
tent:
To me comes the brakeman, and seat
ing himself on the arm Of the seat says
Il went to church yesterday.
YES? ?" said. with that interested IN
Election that ask for more. And what
church did you attend?'
(Which do you guess ?" he asked.
"Some union mission church ?" | liaZ-
arded.
"Naw,'' he said, Il don't like to run on
these branch roads very much. don't
often 90 to church, and when l do, l want
to run on the main line. where your run
is regular and YOU go on schedule time
and don't have to wait on connections
don't like to run on branch. Good
enough, but | don't like it
episcopal ?" guessed.
Limited Express" he said /; ''all
palace cars and 81 extra for II seat fast
time, and only stop at the big stations.
Nice line, but too exhaustive for 4 brake
man. All train men in uniform. conduc-
tors punch and lantern silver plated, and
no train boys allowed. Then the passen-
gers are allowed to talk back at the con-
ductor and it makes them too free and
easy. No, | couldn't stand the palace
cars Rich road, though. Don't often
hear of a receiver being appointed for
that line Some mighty nice people travel
on it. too"
"Universalist q l suggested.
"Broad-guage," said the brakeman
"does too much complimentary business.
Everybody travels on Il pass. Conductor
doesn't get fare once i'll fifty miles. Stops
ut all flag stations, and won't run into
ANYTHING but a union depot. No smoking
car on the train. Train orders are vague
though, and the train men don't get along
well with the passengers. No, | don't go
to the Universalist. though l know some
awfully good men that run on that road.
presbyterian 2" | asked
"Narrow-gauge. ch?" said the brake
man, pretty track, straight as a rule;
tunnel right through mountain rather
than go round it spirit-levrl grade pas
sengers have to show their tickets before
they get on the train. Mighty strict road,
but the cars are little narrow ; have to
sit one in seat and no room in the aisle
to dance. Then there no stop-over tickets
allowed got to go straight through to
the station you're ticketed for, or you
can't get Oh mt all. When the cars full
no extra coaches cars built at the shops
| to hold inst so many and nobody else al
lowed on But You don't often hear of an
accident on that road Its run right up
| to the rules"
Maybe you joined the Free Thinkers"
! | said
Scrub road" said the brakeman
dirt road-bed and no ballast no time
card and no train dispatcher. All trains
run wild and every engineer makes his
. = l.. 10,
YOU want to kind of o-as-you-p please
road Too many side tracks, and every
switch wide open all the time with the
! switchran sound asleep and the target
| lamp dead out Get on as You please and
| get off when You want TO. Don't have to
show your tickets, and the conductor isn't
expected to do anything but amuse the
passengers. No, sir, | was offered Il pass,
but l don't like the line. | don't like to
travel on line that has no terminus. Do
| You know, sir, | asked division supcrin-
| tendent where that road run to, ana he
said he hoped to die if he knew. | asked
Il conductor who he got his orders from,
and he said he didn't take orders from
any living man or dead ghost And when
/ asked the engineer who he got his or
ders from, he said he'd like to see any
body give him ORDERS he'd run that train
to suit himself or he'd run it into the
ditch. Now you see, sir, I'm railroad
man, and dent care to run on Il road
that has no time, makes no connections,
runs nowhere, and has no nosuperintendent
1t may be all right, but I've railroaded
too long to understand it.
"Dd you try the Methodist" said
Now, you're shouting he said with
enthusiasm. nice road, cl? Fast time
and plenty of passengers. Engines carry
n power Of steam, and don't YOU forget it
steam gauge shows hundred and enough
all the time. Lively road when the
conductor shouts all aboard, You can
hear him to the next station. Good,
whole -souled, companionable conductors
amt road in the country where the pass
engers fell more at home. No passes
every passenger pays full traffic rates for
his ticket. Wesleyan house air-brake on
all trains, too pretty safe road, but |
didn't ride over it yesterday.
Maybe You went to the Congregational
church - | said.
Popular road" said the brakeman
''an old road, too one of the very oldest
in this country Good road-bcd and COM
| Portable cars. Well-managcd road, too
directors don't interfere with division su-
perintendents and train orders. Road
mighty popular, but it's pretty independ-
ent, too See, didn't one Of the division
superintendents down east discontinue
one of the oldest stations on this line two
or three years ago? But it's mighty
pleasant road to travel on Always has
such splendid class Of passengers
perhaps you tried the Baptist - |
guessed once more
"Ah, hai" said the brakeman shes !;
daisy. isn't she, river road beautiful
curves /; sweep around anything to keep
close to the river. Takes heap of water
to run it through double tanks at every
station, and there isn't an engine i'll the
shop that can pull pound or run mile
in less than two gauges. But it runs
through II lovely country, these river
roads always do river on one side and
hills on the other, and it, a steady climb
up the grade all the way till the run ends
where the fountainhcad of the river be
gins. Yes, sir, I'll take the river road
every time for lovely trip, sure connec
tions and good time, and no prairie dust
blowing i'll at the windows. And vcster-
day when the conductor came around for
the tickets with little basket punch,
didn't ask him to pass me, but paid my
fare like n little man-twcnty-tive cents
for an hours run and Il little concert by
the passengers throwcd in. tell You,
Pilgrim, you take the river road when YOU
want"
But just here the long whistle from the
engine announced II station, and the
brakeman hurried to the door, shouting
'Zionsvillel This train makes no stops
between here and indianapolis -