Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
New York Timee,l


Painting and plumbing are crimes that go
hand In hand. The plumber does not neces-
sarily paint, neither does the painter ordinarily
plumb, but the man who is capable OF the one
is always capable of the other. The qualities
that enable man to FOLLOW q successful career
OF plumbing are precisely those that would flJ
him Ior painting. So close is the relationship
between the two occupations that We often ind
plumber assoc1ating himself In business With
painter and brazenly displaying the sign,
ssPiumnlng, gas. fitting, and house-painting
done here" Thus, while one partner paints the
outside OF the house the other plumbs its in-
terror, and between the two the ruin of the
house owner Is made complete.
The painter resembles the plumber In his
Ceep-r0Oted unw1ll1ngneSs TO keep his agree
nentS One OF his chief objects in life Is to
put of the hour Of painting until the house.
owners patience Is completely exhausted, and
bis consequent indignation depriveS him of that
mental equan1mity necessary for successful
contest with the painters wileS There was,
probably, never an instance OF painter who
painted house on the day when he had prom
lsed TO paint It. He never makes less than three
pUStpOLementS His excuse for the first OF these
Is that he Is out OF whitehead or Jurpenttne, and
has been unable to procure them. The second
posi- p0nement Is made because the painter pro.
IeSSeS to fOreSee coming shower OF rain-Wh1ch
refuses to come with as much oDstinacy as If It
had been prOphesied by Prof. Vennor-and for
tie painters Third failure to appear on the
promised day he pleads either an attack OF i'll
ne SIS or the failure OF his assistant to provide
him with ladders.
By this time the HORSEPOWER has become 80
indignant that, when the painter actually ar
ri'es the latter finds it comparatively easy to
overthrow the arguments OF the former In favor
OF any particular color. 1t is point OF honor
With the painters never to let man have his
own choice as to the color with which his house
shall be painted. The house owner and his wife
may have given much time to the selection of
nice color Tor the house and suitable shade for
the trimmings, but when he lays the two
ably replies, so, them colors won't do at
all, Sir" In vain does the unhappy man
insist that he likes them, and that, therefore,
they Will and must .'do;" the painter bends
plying glance upon him and asserts that he
has no idea how the two tintS In question Will
lCok when laid on the house. In most cases his
obstihacy overrules the HORSEPOWER and the
latter is compelled to consent to having his
house painted with colorS which he privately
thinks detestable. Sometimes, however, the
painter painter pretends to acquiesce In his
victims views, and the latter fiatters himself
that he has gained a victory. He soon finds
out, when it is too late, that no painter ever
yet consented to adopt colorS which he him
sell sell had not selected; The house owner may
have supposed that his house was to be
painted delicate cream color, but he will
md that 1t has been painted Indian red, and
that the painter insists that he has strictly
followed his Instructions although, as he pre-
tends, 1t Is just possible That the tint has been
mixed tr1fle too warm. What can the help
less man whose house has been thus unlaw-
fully painted red do with the wretch who
calmly insists that Indian red is really deli
cate cream color, rendered trihe too warm in
the 1n1Xing' He may kill the painter, but the
un]usI la%s Oh inc country viii punish him, or
and have his house reprinted, with results as
unsatisfactory as those which attended his
nrst effort. II he Is wise man, he simply
submits to the inevitable, and recognizes the
TACT that no man can have his house painted to
suit himself. There is worthy gentleman re.
siding In New-Jersey suburban town who for
twenty years has been trying to have his
house painted particular shade OF brown
During that time he has employed four differ
emit painters, and has had his house painted
S Sut yeow req green and orange
entreates to induce painter to use the brown
paint for which he signs
own paint, thus procuring the precise Shade
winch ne deslres, and then to hire painter to
put 1t on the house. This experiment has
been tried, but no man, having once tried it,
ever tries II again; such method OF painting
house should not be attempted by any one
whose Income is less than $4,000 year The
amount OF paint, turpentine and brushes that
the painter uses will be found to cost rather
more than the house. No matter If the paint
merchant has made a careful calculation Of the
quantity of paint that Will be sufficient to
cover the house, the painter will demand at
least three times that amount, and will then
ruin his employer in turpentine and brushes
Moreover, the amount of paint which the
painter, who is hired by the job, contrives to
spill on every available spot OF surface where
paint is not desired is enormous. He never
tails to upset at least two well-hlled paint
pOlS, ana always selects the worst possible To-
calit1es for the performance of this feat. II we
add 10 this the number of panes OF glass which
the painter knocks out with the end OF his lad
der, and the blinds that he breaks with the
same effective instrument it will be found. on
the Wnole, cheaper to set the house on IRE
than 10 Lire painter to paint it with colors
seiect and furnished by the HORSEPOWER
In any event, the painter, when he comes to
make out his till displays an amount OF I'M
olushing W1ckedness which the plumber alone
can rival. BE charges for his paints, brushes,
and milne, for his time, and for ''the job"
he never takes less than twice the time to
be sufficient, and II he is lucky enough to be
able to pretend that sudden shower has
spoiled the paint which he had just laid on, he
can proceed to paint the house ..ail over again.
AS between the painter and the plumber there
Is little TO choose. The latter is, perhaps, lit
tie the bolder OF the two, but the former ac-
complshes his criminal purpose with at least
equal success.