Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1880-04-07


has been set apart for fools. 1t is alto
gether fitting that the fools should
have day celebrated in their honor,
for thev constitute large and, as the
word goes, highly respectable class Of
the community.
| ARMSTRONG county comes to the
front with q newly discoverd cave on
the farm of Jasper Fleck, in Madison
township. 1t was discovered by some
men who were digging for ore and is
claimed to be larger than the Nam
moth Cave of Kentucky. Kittanning
is organizing q party to make thor
ough exploration.
IT was Senator Edmunds' day in the
Senate, last Thursday, and he i'm
| proved it. His speech upon the Mar
shals Appropriation Bill, or rather upon
the subject of political riders to appro-
priation bills in general, was one of the
finest efforts from the Republican side
Of the Senate Chamber that has been
developed this season.
ARE you low-spirited, "down-in-the-
mouth" and weak in the back? Does
walking, lifting or standing cause pain
In the small of the back? If 30 you
have kidney disease, and Prof. Gull
mette's French Kidney Pad is the only
remedy which will cure you rapidly
and permanently and without filing
your stomach with nauseating medl-
cines.
THE Congressional Committee on
Printing has decided that 800, 900 Re-
ports of the Department of Agriculture
for 1879 shall be printed We trust
that some offectual means may be de-
vised by which these funds of useful
and interesting information may be
distributed where they will do the
most good-among the farmers of the
country.
CoNRoY, the Erie man who went
crazy over the Is puzzle, while enroute
to Dixmont asylum, broke up his din
ner plate into Is pieces and played the
game with them. This brought on par
oxysm, and the Sheriff had to lash him
to the seat with the bell rope. He bit
an officers watch in two, and made a
desperate attempt to fling himself out
of the window.
LADIES Solid Gold Watches at $l5
and upwards, at E. Grieb's.
A STRIKING token of the sudden po-
litical revolution in England is con-
tanned in the news that Southwark has
chosen two Liberals by substantial
maiorities-Southwark being the place
in which an election to fill vacancy,
held since the beginning of the year,
resulted in O Conservative triumph,
which was then claimed as typical OF
the national feeling.
THE relations Of sugar and meta
physics are not so manifest as to COM
mand general and eager recognition.
Nevertheless, General Garfield pro-
nounces the plan for modifying the du-
ties on sugar agreed upon by the sub
committee of the Committee of Ways
and Means az sensible and philo-
sophie" There is no doubt about the
good sense of it, though.
ONCE upon time there was heads
man at Paris so deft in his art that he
bad to administer pinches Of snuff to
his clients by way Of convincing them
that their heads were really of. And
we might, good-naturedly, add, that
some Of the late officials about the
Court House, had almost as much
trouble convincing themselves that
their heads were really OF.
A WESTERN paper speaks of the
bouse-cleaning season as that when di-
vine woman has her own way at the
house, while the "old man" takes his
solemn repast from the top Of the -four
barrel, and, in sleeping, enjoys the free
dom of the interval between his bed
room and the front fence. It is sea-
son Of meditation, whitewash and
calm, unimpassioned profanity.
In Pittsburgh, recently, q husband
and wife were tried for killing man
namedCrow, who tried to force an en-
trance into their house. The husband,
who was lying in the house in drunk
en- sleep when the man was shot, was
convicted Of voluntary manslaugbter,
while the wife, who confessed that she
shot Crow, was acquitted. The waysof
Pittsburgh justice are past finding out.
WILLIAM ALAND, Merchant Tailor,
has Just opened the largest line Of woolens for
men and boys wear ever offered in Butler.
INTEMPERANcE by the quart, or gal
lon, or keg, or even barrel, is not an
unusual thing. But temperance by the
yard is. A petition one hundred and
eigty eight yards long was lately pre-
sentened to the House Of Representa-
tives at Washington by Mr.. Brewster
Of Michigan. 1t was signed by 81, 900
women, who want Congress to prohibit
the making and selling Of ardent spir-
its in this country.
A GENIUS living at Chelsea, Mass +,
has at last discovered perpetual motion I;
at least his friends claim As much for
him. The machine contains the en-
bodiment Of the old idea--a wheel
with self-adjusting weights. The einven-
tor has in course of construction q ma
chine which will start itself, with
about one hundred pounds power. He
has secured patents in this and the
principal countries Of Europe.
AFTER Washington had been Presi-
| dent for two terms he was chosen JUS
tice Of the. Peace for his township in
Virginia and John Adams, too, al
though he retired from Washington to
Quincy in no sweet temper Of mind,
consented to serve his neigbbors in the
same official capacity. These shining
examples are commended to other ex-
Presidents who are anxiously looking
for some vent for their exuberant po-
litical activity.
| wEIJ-KsowN German minister