Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-09-10
CURRENT NOTES.


your new minister become the Gospel? ?"
asked learned bishop of a simple-mind-
ed farmer. WELL" was the reply 'shis
conversation is rather fluid and he don't
keep a carriage"
1t is very well TO believe in everlasting
punishment Init the rAeliy good man be
lieves it because it is true, and he camel
help accepting it. Some people, how
who said that the Universalists exnect
that everybody will be saved. and then
added, but we Calvinists look for BETTE,
| things"
1t was Douglas Jerrold who showed
that the English language is quite able to
express the most intense emotion by say
ing of man who had proved himself
thorough scoundrel, HE would sharp
en- knife upon his fathers tombstone TO
kill his mother"
1t was pretty difficult to cope with Cur
ran when he was completely reused, and
quite impossible to ignore the sting of
his sarcasm On one occasion, however,
he met his match in Sir BOYLE Roche
Curran had been exceedingly irritated by
some criticism and said to Sir Boyle
Roche in a tone of whitening contempt,
81 am quite capable OF acting as the
guardian of my own honor" Sir Boyle
turned toward his companions and re-
marked, Il have always been under the
impression that Mr.. CurTGn was an enemy
to sinecures.
Lord George Gordon once asked Sell
wyn to have him chosen again for Parlia-
ment from a district which Selwyn gov
erned. But the electors won't have
you," replied Selwyn, bluntly "Oh,
yes" said my lord, '.if you recommended
me they would have me- if I came from
the coast of Africa That" answered
Selwyn, depends on what part of the
coast you came from. They certainly
would have you gladly if you came from
the Guinea coast.
Miss Flirtington-''Yes like the place
very much. Major you have such Jolly
set of men down here" The Major
"Yes, awfully jolly. You'd better stsei
your heart, Miss Flirtington, in case of
accidents" Miss F-''While Tn about
it, Major, I'd rather steal somebody else's,
don't you know ?"-FR.
'In closin' dis meetin, SAID the old
man, as the usual hour was marked by
the clock. ''let cherry one o you bar in
mind dat BLOWN up bladder doan'
make a bari. Git it Is full o wind as
you may and it's muffin but bladder
De Lawd made each one for speshul
purpose, an de chap who was created to
use shovel will git busted cherry timehe
believes dat he was cut out fur states
man. We will now be scattered De
trou Free Press.
The Paris fast meu has, alopsa,i a new
method of responding to the hack drivers
who hold ont their hand ard demand
pour 6oire They look at the driver with
calmness and reply, Il am the President
of a temperance society.
If Jones undertakes to pull nv ears"
said loud-mouthed fellow on street
corner, The Will Just have his hands full. -
The crowd looked at the mans ears and
smiled.
A Leadville gambler adyeitises in hand
bills as follows Keno, as played at
Wyman's, is a very honest, upright and
religious game. 1t is religious, because
Wyman don't allow any one to swear or
to make those vulgar expressions some
times used in playing keno. II is re-
spectacle. because the Rev. Mr.. Talmage
was in the other evening to see the game.
Wyman has made no noise or trouble, be-
cause he treats all his customers to the
finest liquors and cigars free also hot
free lunch three times day. Therefore
there is nothing for any one to quarrel
about.
He got ont OF the car at tie depot, and
a hack driver put the usual question to
him Have hack, sir ?" lie had
heard of the iberality Of the Galveston
people before, 50 he was not surprised
He looked at the turnout carefully.
..Have hack, sir ?" Not If have got
to take the horses too. he drawled out
GdirsstOn NeUS.
One time last winter Col. lngersoll
came very near changing his views on fu-
ture punishment He roomed on the
same corridor with young man who was
learning to play the rornet. and he SAID
one morning there were some things II
the Old Testament prophecies and dc
nunciations that were full Of the sweetest
comfort TO a man Of a revengeful nature,
who had suffered greatly, and he would
not deny 1t.
An old salt, when asked how far north
he had ever been, replied that he had
been so far north that 1.-THE cows when
MIXED beside red hot stove gave ice
cream"
Don't You think the weather is very
humid?' said Miss Fitzjoy as she leaned
on Mr.. Toplofty's arm. ''Weally, call
not say. always, aw, 60 in when it
wains, aw." Then he does know that
much = said she, in very low gside,-
NelC Haren Register.