The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-06-03

Shaving = Man with the Toothache.
"Nextr' shouted the barber, with a
flourish of his hand.
"Who's nextP' asked spry man at
my side.
"That fellow over there with his
face wrapped in flannel"
The man with the tied-up face ad-
vanced cautiously towards the chair.
Barber" he began, "kin you shave
man who has had the toothache for
four weeks?''
II should think I kin!' replied the
barber, haughtily.
Ibid you ever shave man who's had
the toothache for four weeksr'
"MOre than thousand"
81 kinder think you're a old hand.
eh?" said the man, untying his face and
getting into the chair.
There was a smile of triumph on the
BARRIERS face as he proceeded to lather
the man.
"Hold on, mister" cried the man,
grasping the BARRIERS arm, "my Jaw
amt insured"
"Makes no difference" said the bar
Der, jamming the brush up the mans
nostrils.
"But I tell you," continued the
man. after blowing the lather over
the barber vest, ayou'n hey to be
durn keerful with that right jaw.''
"That's all right" and the barber
daubed brushful of lather on the mans
mouth.
'.But," the man went on, this time
blowing the lather into the BARRIERS
face. eff you scratch that right Jaw, or
loosen any of the teeth, you had better
BE- dead. Commence on the left law
first"
"Crops all right up your wayp'' insin-
uatingly asked the barber, at the same
time drawing the razor over the mans
face as he would a rake.
"Auich!' cried the man, sitting up.
did you say you shaved thousand
men who hev he'd the toothache fur four
weeks?'
Eyes, about that many" said the
barber, somewhat startled by the mans
gestures.
"And still alive?''
EYES,"
"You're a liar. You're fraud.
You're swindle, and if you don't re-
duce that thousand to one, and that one
to me, I'll hammer some serse into
your head"
"Don't get excited" said the barber.
soothingly: "You know man will
brag little"
"Well you continue with that left
jaw, and be durn keerful, too.''
1t was refreshing to see how carefully
the barber handled that left jaw. It
took him just six minutes, by the clock,
to shave it.
"You amt done already?" savaeelv
asked the man when the barber asked
him to turn his head. 'sWould YOU
hev your neck broke if it faint done?'
81 kin 60 over it again." feebly
whispered the barber, who didn't want
his other customers to hear that he
gave in.
"You had better go over it." growl-
ed the man so loud that the eight Gus
toners got up and came closer.
The barber smilingly assured the man
that it was pleasure to go over such a
beautiful cheek.
"Now, that'll do" said the stranger,
stroking his face. "But I'll give YOU
fair warning, if you don't think you kin
do that right jaw justice, you'd better
give up the job. l amt responsible for
acts of violence"
81 wouldn't miss shaving that cheek
for a dollar" said the barber, confide n
tally.
He commenced that cheek with more
than ordinary care.
Keerful, friend. keerfu!," mutter-
ed the stranger. you're coming to a
tender spot, and my revolver is cooked"
The crowd of eight men simultaneous
ly gave the barber more room to work,
and two left the shop.
"Wasn't you General in the army?''
asked the barber, hoping to divert the
mans thoughts from gore, and trusting
to Providence for an affirmative reply.
"YOu concentrate your intellect on
that jaw and keep your CAB mumr'
Three minutes of silence ensued.
"Ah, there! It's done," admiringly
exclaimed the barber. II never done
a better job since shaved the King of
Hungaria.'
Now you kin comb my hair" re-
piled the man, sitting up.
trimmed p
"Nor'
"You ought to have it trimmed"
"Comb my hair. have to 90 to q
funeral"
You want your mustache dyed ?''
"Nor'
you would look better if it were
dyed.'
"Didn't tell you he'd to go to a
marriage-funeral!' cried the man,
getting excited.
''That's the reason you ought to have
it trimmed and Dyed" complacently
and smilingly replied the barber.
''But don't want it DONE" yelled
the other. "Brush my hair
"You told me to comb your hair
minute ago."
The man drew forth his revolver and
laid his hand in his lap. This made the
barber commence to wet his hair.
don't want any pump water on
my head."' said the man.
The barber put away the water bot
tie, and was about to apply some oil.
81 don't want any cod-liver oil on
my head, either" said the man again.
"Why?" asked the barber.
"Say, brush up my hair will you?
I've got to go off to-day"
Ibid You say brush up your hair?"
81 said comb my hairr'
"No you didn't"
The man cooked his revolver and held
It closer to the barber. which made the
barber proceed with the brushing.
You didn't want your hair cut, did
your" asked the barber.
mo"
"Shampooed either, eh?"