Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-06-25
Hawkeye Chances.

N OootVu ue0 uuo muOO PAonO A1OA0
stone. -
Bsenum and Berg are going for each
other in New York.
Prof. Huxley has been lecturing in
London on Dogs" ~
d. r. Locke's new play is TO be called
"The Quartz Valley"
What the carpets are saying:
" Shake. New York Graphic.
Misunderstanding that il thumb
ped in laying down carpets.-Philadel-
phia Bulletin.
The Syracuse Herald has great fears
that.Courtney's ma won't let BIN 60
ont on the water. tf
Ono Lloyd Hopkins, Of Virginia,
tried, the other day, to eat twenty-five
molasses cakes, and died. as
Miss Elizabeth Stuart Phelps has Q
badly sprained ankle. Her "Gait'e
Ajar. New Haven Register.
In England, when ono woman wants
to compliment another on her spright-
Illness and vivscity, she says: IT
guess you're full of feas."
A Wisconsin girl broke off her en-
gagement because her lover had ns 70
nance. She wanted to be married ON
stills, and he wouldn't agree.
II boards, says the Boston Courier,
note high degree Of civilization, as,
has been asserted, what magazine Of
culture Billy goat must be.
Weather writer's have o good deal
to say about the mean temperature of
April. 1t is, in fact, says the Picayune,
as mean as that of any other month.
The tornado song that will soon be-
come popular again is:
'And when the bretz blow,
I'll quickly go below"
Judge Hilton and Mr.. Robert L..
Stuart, of New York, have each sent
ten thousand dollars to the managers
Of the Hahnemann fair, which ended
so sadly.
The Norristown Herald, among FASH
ionable fish items, notes the fact that
the shad of q year ago wore zoo. 70S,-
642 bones; this seasons contains 20O,-
Gus. $780,
A Syracuse dentist has q large mir
ror before his operating chair in order
that patients can see the expression Of .
their faces as the tooth begins to start
at the roots.
Miss Biddy McGinnis, reading the
last Of the Herald famine subscrl ption
reports" Fax it's hoping am some
of me own folks is amongst THIN dis
Unrest Puck.
The Queen has declined to let the
Prince and Princess of Wales occupy
Windsor Castle during the Ascot races
unless they will allow her to revise the
list OF their guests.
The trouble with California seems to
be that too many missionaries haTe
passed IeyOnd it to wrestle with peo-
pie who are orderly and we'll behaved.
Detroit Free Press.
The New Hampshire Register be-
lieves in the scarcity Of the leo crop,
and thinks ice cream will be frozen
Gin the shade on the north side of the
house this summer 81.
A Jersey City paper wants to know
wha: is total abstinence. Total absti-
neuce, says the Albany Times, is one of
tue resnlts of being--say. cast away on
desert island with no chest.
F., Bostun's public libraries contain over
1000 900 volumes. The Herald OF that
city says the supply OF French novels
is immense and dangerous. The young
are precariously fond Of them.
Missouri women are frail creatures.
One of them peppered two tramps with
shotgun and knocked down the
third with l. ha Chef, and then tainted
dead away.-Detroit Free Pres
A one-legged Nav Huvener recently
stole picture of his wife, from whom
he had been separated. and she re-
taliated by stealing his wooden leg,
which soon brought him to terms.
New York has "Femalo Bible So
cisty." Female Bibles may possess
some advantage over the old Bibles,
but we doubt it. Sex in the Scriptures
is all wrong.-Norristown Herald.
Sankey, the singer, is seriously sick.
A man would have to be as tough as an
OK to endure as much fesstiDg and toast
ing and prsising as Sankey has had for
the last five years.--Cnicago Journal.
The Duchess of Marlborough has
Qeclneu 10 receive NStlmOnlh
for her energy in the work of Irish re-
lief, on the ground that she has simply
done her duty and desires no reward
for it.
"When spelling is reformed"
she'll write:
"Tm sailing on the oshun,
The &c is hi, no sale in site,
II tilE me with emoshun."
But Que "spell" will not change its name,
For she'll be se-sik jest the same!
-Andretrs' Queen.
A woman in New York accidentally
went to church with two bonnets on her
head--one stuck inside the other-and
the other women inside the consrega-
ton almost died of envy. They thought
it was new kind of bonnet, and too
sweet for anything.-New orleaps
Picayuue. t........f-~
Judge Tourjee, author Of "The
Fools Errand," has retired from the
editorship of the Denver Times, and
will hereafter devote himself wholly
to literary labors. He is now at work
upon new political novel to be called
50 Bricks without Straw" which will