The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-07-08
PASSING SMILES.

LETTERS must be wicked things. They
are always indicted.
MoTTo for the milkman--to the pure
all things are pure.
"WHAT is your favorite gem, Sarah2"
Sarah replied demurely, ga gate" Melo-
drama.
A COUPLE of soldiers of the Salvation
Army approached q Philadelphia broker
recently and asked "How is it with
you, my friend?" 81 am short on Read
ing" replied the broker.
WEALTHY CAD" Look here-bring
me some dinner, old man. The best
you've got" Restaurateur-" Diner a
Ia Carte, MSieu7" Cad -" Cart be
hanged! Dinner Ter carriage"
They say, "'tis darkest just before the
dawn" but the man who got up at mid
night to hunt for a lone match on the
corner of the wash-stand can't see how it
could be any darker.
81 PUT outside my window large box
filled with mold, and sowed it with seed.
What do you think came up" "Wheat,
barley or oats?" "No--a policeman, who
llO W
The discouraged collector again pre-
sented that little matter. "Well," said
his friend, "you are round againp"
eyes, says the fellow, with the account
in his hand, "but / want to get square"
"LADIEs and gentlemen, said an Irish
manager to his audience of three, "as
there is nobody here, I'll dismiss you all.
The performance of this night will not be
performed, but will be repeated to-mor-
row evening"
A LITTLE boy entered the fish market
the other day, and seeing for the first
time pile of Holsters lying on the coun-
ter looked at them intently for some time,
when he exclaimed: "Them's the big
gest grasshoppers l ever seen."
WHATS mama, metheglin, ambrosia and sich
To Ole O'Margarne2
| In odor SO fragrant, in color so rich
Ole O'Margarne7
Thourt guiltless of pastures and milk-maids smiles.
Thou'rt guitless Of churning and dairy-maids
Thou'rt guilty Of naught but inscrutabes lies,
Ole O'Margarine.
"IF this coffee is gotten up in board
ing house style again tomorrow morning,
I think | shall have good grounds for a
divorce" said cross husband the other
morning. II don't want any of your
saucer" retorted his wife, "and what
I've sediment"
A FRIEND who lately called on the
Premier found him quiet, but not without
q CLEAN of his peculiar saturnine humor.
at is strange thing" said he; "but
people keep calling at this house, and
asking after meas though l had had q
child"
MR. MAYLUM remarked to Erskine that
his physician had forbidden his bathing
at Brighton. "You are mal,um pro-
hibitun,," said Erskine. "But," con-
tinued Mr.. Maylum, che says my wife
may bathe." "Ah," replied Erskine,
"she is mal,tm in Sc"
"TEN dimes make one dollar" said
the schoolmaster. Now go on, sir.
Ten dollars make one-what?" "They
make one mighty glad these times" re-
piled the boy; and the teacher, who
hadn't got his last months salary yet,
concluded that the boy was about right.
The Chicago Inter Ocean having come
to the conclusion tha, "a full-grown man
who throws banana peels upon the side
walk is no Christian" the Cincinnati
Commercial anxiously inquiries "Well,
what dc you think of the banana peel
that throws full-grown man upon the
sidewalk ?"
WHILE Bishop Ames was presiding over
conference in the west a member began
TRADE against univel sites, education,
etc, thanking God that he had never
been corrupted by contact with college.
After proceeding :hus for a few minutes
the bishop interrupted him with the
question: "Do L understand that the
brother thanks God for his ignorance ?"
"Well, yes" was the answer; "you
can put it in that way if you want to. |"
"Well. all have to say, said the bishop,
in his sweet, musical tones, sis, that the
brother has great deal to thank God
| for"