The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-02-28
Rural Happenings.

MENDOZA, Feb. "a 1SS0.-The great walking
tournament came off at Washington Hall last
Thursday evening. The fun commenced at
eight. For one hour prior to that time French's
Military Band enlivened the company with
music. Finally the pedestrians made their
appearance when every operas glass was lev
eed at the fine physiques of the contestants
for athletic laures. All ielt enthusiastic as
the cause in which they were enlisted, viz, the
raising of funds for lrelands sufferers, was a
worthy one. The fat mans race was the first
one that conyulsed the company, There were
entered for this race Capt. Parker, editor Of
the Reporter; Billy Cummings, the popular
conductor on the c., b. IL g. r. r.; John
Cummings, merchant, and }. Kohl, jeweler.
They stood in a row and the word ego" was
given. The four ponderous, symmetrical bel.
lies waved and swaycd majestically around
the race course, accompanied by kind Of
blowing putting and snorting that would have
caused the boiler of an engine to burst. John
Cummings took the pole and held 1t during
the first heat, but he was soon distanced by
Billy who held the lead until the close of the
race. Next came the lawyers-Seaman, Sny-
der, Brown and Lamberton. Lawyer Brown
appeared in tights and as the ladies yelled
their faces and looked between their fingers,
an elderly lady remarked that she thought the
nakod man would win. He did win. The
contestants walked at first for about eighty
feet when Brown and Lamberton broke
Brown put forth such Herculean efforts and
was SO closely pursued by Lamberton that
when he reached the judges stand at the fin
ishing of the last round, he tainted. Think Of
it! A lawyer fainting for suffering Ireland !!
Immediately cablegram was sent to suffer
ing Ireland saying: Lawyer Brown has
tainted out OF charity for thee" The response
came Suffering Ireland weeps copious tears
over Browns noble and charitable talnting."
Softly and tenderly the almost lifeless form OF
Brown was spread out upon the stage OF the
hall, his head pllowed IN heavenly rest on the
arm of fat woman, while six lovely bru-
nettes stroked his elegant mustache or ever
and anon endeavered to start circulation IN
his pipe.stem legs. Finally he raised his
dropping eyelids as if he wished TO speak,
and simultaneously six female ears were
placed to his mouth to hear what the falnting
hero might say. Slowly and family came
forth the question: who was that redheaQtd
girl Who cheered me and waved Ter handker
chief at me!" The brulIsttes who were listen
ing and watching so attentlvely were Mortified
to think that the herOs mind was on a red
headed girl instead of suffering Ireland, and
Immediately deserted him. He was kindly
taken in charge by brother attorneys who al
lowed HIM to smell an uncorked soda-water
bottle which caused his revival. Selah! The
three mile race between John j. Geraghty,
professional pedestrian, who took the champi-
on belt at the six days walking tournament
at st. LOUIS, and three novices, each of whom
walked one mile only, was interesting. Mr..
Geraghty was declared victor. Net proceeds
of the evening about seventy dollars
The temperance people of our city made a
spasmodic movement last week in the cause OF
temperance. An organization called the Tenn
peranCc Alliance was effected, immense resolu-
tons promulgated and life and property
pledged to the support of the organization,
which will operate rs a two edged sword to
abolish and demollsh every saloon, and eradl-
cate so thoroughly the last vcstige of the Ii
quor traffic in out city that King Alcohol will
never exhibit his terrible visage IN our midst
again. Col. i. 4. Bowen is president of the
Alliance and it Is announced that he Will be a
candidate for mayor on the prohibition ticket at
the spring election. 1t is the height OF foolish
ness for our temperance people to imagine
they can maintain prohibition in this city. If
we enact prohibitory ordinances they will nat
urally be far more rigorous than our present
laws, either state or municipal. But why do
our temperance agitators ask for more rigorous
laws when they are too cowardly to enforce
the laws we have at present regulating the
sale of liquor? Let them use the weapons the
law has placed in their hands for fighting the
liquor traffic, and if they are inadequate, then
i, will be time to ask for prohibitory laws.
TI'NJI-s