The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-03-25
ALL SORTS.
Reporter on the train asleep,
And may thy guardian angel keep
Thy head frnm falling. of

Reporter on the train asleep,
And may thy guardian angel keep
Thy head from falling on
The window-stil supports thine arm.
With naught to keep thy head frsm harm,
ss.x. But your small neck.
Your head. your hands, yoar Iips,
Even yonr fnger-tips,
Were all In motion.
Vast thou in dreamland writing news, intent,
And when thou nod'st with thy head, assent,
To what was said?
And with your hand but brushing flies
From of your nosel
Thy lips were moving, wasn't thou reading!
Or with some damsel only pleading
For one sweet kiss?
IT'S sport to see reporter sleep,
It makes me laugh until weep,
He acts 30 funny.
Reporter, would ike TO know
What caused that smile, that pleased you so,
While you were mapping.
The brakeman's shout of Sawyer City,
Weakened reporte WIN l,a pity
And spoiled my fun, ,~,r
The porter of Danbury shoe-store was
busting out the place of business on Mon
day morning, when ruralist struggled In
He wanted pair of shoes.
What number is 2" queried the por.
ter.
Thirteen. fourteen, fifteen" said the
man, with an absent look on his face.
Holy MosesP' gasped the porter
Three legs and no two mates l"-Danbur3
Ne,cs,
Brunettes deceive-blondes betray
Give money but never lend it, Giving i
only makes a man uugrateful, lending i
| makes him an enemy. Ifmen would spend
| in doing good to others a quarter of III,
money they spend 10 doing harm to them
selves, misery would vanish from tn,
earth. Man was created to utilize every
thiug-even sorrow. A woman's venalit,
| is the punishment of the man that buy
her. The only thing I am astonished a
| is that people are astonished at anything
-SnsaU 7als.
The Golden Rule thinks "the womel
who are forming societies to help tn
heather, the negro. and the Indian nigh
find large field of Christian love ant
service unoccupied among the sorel,
tempted shop girls and sewing women her
in this city," Perish the thought! VIVA
claim has shop girl, compelled to STAN
ten hours day and dress we'll on thre
dollars a week. on the philanthropic mind
while there is Ute or Sioux withou
ear muffs or nickel plated egg beater2 P
st. Adams Advertiser.
| What has become of those wooden boa
constructors, called comforters, which USE
to be go common quarter of centur,
ago, Haunting their bright colors from
every clothing house in every village in tn
land? You remember them. withou
doubt, and wore one twisted over you
face when boy, and got the hairs dow
your throat 10 breathing through them
| Once in while We see one of them now
in connection with a sunburnt overcoat
but they are very rare. -DdnbuTy NeaCs
When you find sun. bonnet Aoatin,
around on the surface of pond, it is no
| always safe to conclude that there is
woman at the bottom of it. She may hav,
eloped with the hired man and thrown the
bonnet in there so as to get good start
while the neighbors are dragging the ponc
and the husband is trying to beat dowr
the undertaken on the price OF rosewood
cofin .-Keoztuk Gate City,
| When man in Y ermont grocery store
was sitting upon the edge of the counter
aud his feet slipped and he raked the
whole length of his back on the counters
edge and sa: square down In bushel
basket of eggs, which stood right where
he couldn't miss it, the grocer vas horri
fed, and exclaimed. Was it an accident? p
and the victim replied, by crimus, sir, il
you insinuate that / skuu my back. and
got myself into this mess, on purpose, II
| jam your head into the remains of those
eggsr '- Boston Post
If English scientists knew how firmly
the belief 10 the effectiveness Of Vaccina.
ton is rooted in this country. they would
almost certainly despair Of converting
Americans to their views opposing it.
Only the other day Young America, age
6, was earnestly engaged in vaccinatine
his little sisters doll to protect it against
possible exposure to smallpox He inoc-
ulated the doll very thoroughly In four
places. on the leg and neck, with an old
pair of shears, taking bis vaccine matter
from a rusty screw, and he is now await.
| ing results. Unless the rising generation
can be persuaded that vaccination &c pos,s
| lively injurious, Americans are in danger
OF settling down to the belief that dining
| tables, piano stools, and wheelbarrows will
be unsafe to have around unless they have
been vaccinsted. From the present out
look We do not know where this thing il
going to end. Rome Sentinel
A rich citizen of Detroit lay upon bis
| dying bed. All his lifetime he had beer
known as a sound business man, and OH
and again his fellow -citi4ens bad come to
him for business advice. He was dying in
| his old age, but yet his intellect was bright
and sound. When he knew that he had
| but few hours to live he called his only
son to him and said:
George, | am going to die, and before
| | go / want 10 speak few words with
you. 1ou have neither trade nor profess-
ion; you simply wander up and down,
| squandering all the money you get hold of.
ln the last twenty years | have given you
over $4,000. What has become ofit?''
Gone up the spout'' was the mourn
| full reply,
But shall not ppbrald you," oontin-
ued the father. II have made a will. |
had five lawyers work at it for a week,
and L believe it is sound. | am worth
halt a million dollars. have wiIled you
one fourth of this amount. aud given your
mother"
You haven't gone and wilIed her the
big cut. have you?" interrupted the son.
George. thought it was best. and I
now ask you to promise me that"
Cant do it-cant possibly do it,
tather!"
George, won't you promise me to stop