River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-04-01

hundred ard sixteen prlor 70 the passage hereof
o. o. ms gsssag. hereof 4 being the in,enrono
rIsh 81 sSttS4 and ana thai SUCH ae. eS ssai rro
eeed 20 Judgment the same In all respects. As IL
secIlen This act shall take ensc. and be in
force rom an after It's passage and publication
Fun FOR OUR FRIENDS.
ONLY TWO CATS.
Only two cats, vet they calmy reposed
90 ~ rug by the nre and no one supposed
That before sunset these two kIts would be
The Nlctims OF tragedy.
onlva boy yet hs noticed those cats,
All snugy fixed AZ bugs in iuate,
And m his pbiz grin wac seen,
Like an imp's when planning something mean.
Only sister saw that grin,
But abe "tumbled" not 10 it's meaning:
For of.boys she knew not the chaotic emotions,
And Of torturing cats she had very few notions,
Only a moment she left tho ROOM
But that moment scaled the Kittens DOOM
For when che returned no cats vere there
Yet rhe thought OF no evil Detailing the pair
Onlvs string. yet In its knot
The ccadal epde OF the kits that fought,
And n2w ON the face of the boy that grin
ExIetaed around from ears 10 chin.
Only clothes line, yet it swung
And or IL by their tails were hung
The mild and gentle purring pair,
Topsy turyy IN the air
Only confusion now occurred
Yet tbs bowls of the cats were plainly heard
And teeth and claws and blood aud hair
IN wild confusion mingled there
Only two tails now might be seen
On the Inc where the cats and the tails had been.
And tiengh cats To- have nine lives" are rated,
| They thrive not when dlstntfegrated.
| Only eddie strings and claws.
| Only teetn and eyes and paws.
| only tSo waving tails above
Are LEFT to show what sport boys love
The best time to gather apples is i'll
| the dark Of the moon-when the far
mer is in his little bed.
Smythekia' : idea of window gardening
| il to sit in window and watch other
people do the gardening outside.
Some influential papers announce that
! they are "enteTed at the postoiiice as
secondclass matter" and they do not
lie.
Stajch is said to be explosive. 1t
causes explosions in the family when
| the old man finds it left out of his col
lars.
Better roast goose stuffed with onions
where love is than n three dollar dinner
among young bloods down town.
The average public men cares moth
ng for the lies that may be told about
him II is the truth that cuts him to
the quick.
"TbeD. / suppose, Miss Strongmind,
| you and Mr.. Sparrow are soon TO be
man and wife ?" "No, sir, woman and
| husband"
"If you do not want TO be robbed of
your good name" says the Minn"apo-
lis Tribune, "don't have it printed on
your umbrella"
CHATS the first hop Of the season."
remarked a dancing master as his
young hopeful sat down on tack.
! Then the music started and the bawb
began.
When Noah was hailed by passing
ship and asked what state he hailed
from, Ne always gave Ark-answers--
Atlantic Monthly. And his boat gave
a Little Rock.-Ark1ns1s Traveller.
1t is urged by the Rochester Herald
that the latest fashion in ladies' belts is
the hc.*rid zone; but the editor of the
New York Commercial says that so far as
his experience goes it is the frigid zone.
Mrs Minningshares, who says one of
her daughters is "bronzc" and the
other a "blunnet." cannot understand
why ladies of wealth and fashion waste
their time filling parlors with ''brick-
bats" She meant "bric-a-brac."
Little Willie-"And were all the little
birds drowned, mammal Mamma
(who had been telling the story of the
deluge )--"Yes, all but those who were
IN the ark" Wilie-"Then ! do think
that they were stupid, why didn't they
get in a row on top of the ark"
Mr.. Lincoln used to tell story about
a big B0osier who came TO Washington
during the war, and called upon
street Arab for shine. Looking at the
tremendous boots, before him, he called
out brother sinner across the street.
Come over and help, Jimmy. I've
got an army contract"
Among the replies to an advertise
ment Of music committee for "a cam
didate as organlst. music teacher" etc,
was the following one; Gentlemen,
noticed your advertisement for an or
ganist and music teacher, either lady or
gentlemen. Having been both for sew
eral years., / offer you my services"
"Pomp. when your master died. he
left wold in his will that you should be
| buried in his vault" 81 thanks,
ma'am," said Pomp, 81 thanks you for
that ar; but I'd rather not Rather
not. Pomp, why ?" "Cause missus, I'm
feared that when the devil come for
old massa, he might make q intake
and take old Pomp."
ais it becoming to me?" asked she, as
she paraded in the costume OF one hun
ired years ago, before the man who Is
not her | I'd and master, but is her hus-
band. Eyes, my DEAR" said he, meek
| ". "Don't you wish could dress this
way all the timer she asked. mo,
my dear," he answered, "but wish you
mad lived when that was the style"
This is the burden Of a negro song,
which Las more piety than poetry;
Ose woman. don't you cry,
pr they say about the eky
! bat eberytcloud II hez a silver iinin
bar Is hoe cake IN the shelf
20 90 an help yeselL
/ An do AMI be stsndin' In the doah and whlnln'.
II wish you would Keep your mouth
hut" exclaimed Hollemout, the den
list suddenly losing patience with his
patients prediction to talking. "All
right" eaid the latter, suting the action
to the word. And then Hollemout
asked him if he would be so kind as to
open il again long enough Tor him
tHollemount) TO get his finger out.
You never do know how to please some
ulen,
Danger Signals.
Five eminent men have died within the past
few weeks Of Bnghts Disease, and many more
viii soop dc OF the same Il lrful destroyer be
cause they do not take Warner's safe Kidney and
Liver cuTe the only sure remedy for this and other
kidney aB3 liver diseases.