Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-09-16


know, but it don't cause lightning-l'll
go odds on that. And it didn't attract it
worth cent this time; for if that shot
was leve!ed at my match, it was blessed
poor markmanship-about an average Of
none out of possible million, should
say. Why, at DOlymount, such mark
manShip as that"
"For shame, Mortimer! Here we are
standing right IN tho very presence of
death, and yet in 50 solemn moment you
are capable OF using such language as
that. II you have no desire to-Mortl-
mer!"
"Wcll?"
did you say your prayors TO nightP"
IL meant to, but got to trying 10
cipher out how much twelve times thir-
teen is, and"
FIT! - boom-berroom-boom humble
umble bang.sMAsH!J
"Oh, we are lost, beyond all help! How
could you neglect such thing at such a
time as thlsP"
"But it wasn't such a thing as this. '
There wasn't cloud in the sky. How
could know there was going to be all
this rumpus and pow-wow about little
slip like that? And don't think it's Just
fair for you to make so much out of il,
any war, seeing it happens so seldom;
haven't missed before since brought on
that earthquake four years ago."
"MoHTIMER How you talk! Have
you forgotten the yellow fever?"
"My dear, you are always throwing up
the yellow fever to me, and think it is
perfectly unreasonable. You can't even
send telegraphic message as far as Mem
phis without relays, so how is a devotion
al slip of mine going to carry so rar2 I'll
stand the earthquake, because twas in
the neighborhood; but I'll be hanged if
I'm going to be responsible for every
blamed"
[Fzt- BOOM, Jcroom-boom! boom!
BANG!l
"0h, dear, dear! know 1t struck
something, Mortimer. We never shall
see the light of another day; and if it will
do you any good to remember when we
are gone, that your dreadful language
Mortimer
| "WELL! What now?"
Your voice sounds az if-Mortimer,
are you actually standing in front of that
open FIRE place."
That Is the very crime am commit
ting"
Get away from it this moment. You
do seem determined 10 bring destruction
upon US all. D)n't you know that there
is no better conductor for Lightning than
an open chimney? Now where have you
got to2"
"I'm here by the window"
"Oh, for PHYS sake, hlv, You lost
your mind2 Clear out tronl there this
moment The very children in arms
know it is fatal to stand near window in
a thunderstorm, Dear, dear, know
shall never see the light OF another day.
Mortimer2"
"Yes!"
What is that ru'tllng2"
"lt's me-"
"What are you dolngY'
Frying to fnl the uppr end Of my
pintaloons.
"Quick! throw those things away! II
do believe you would deliberately put on
those clothes at guch time AZ this yet
you know perfectly well that all authorities
agree that wooden stuifs attract Lightning.
Oh, dear, dear, it ism t sufficient that ones
life must be impGriled from natural causes,
but you must do everything you can pos
sibly think of to augment the danger.
Oh, don't sing! What can you be think
ing OFF,"
"Now where's the harm in itI'
"Montimer, if | have told you once |
have told you ahundrcd times, that sing
ing causes vibrations in the atmosphere
which interrupt the flow OF the electric
fluid, and-What on earth IRE you open
ing that door for?"
Goodness gracious, woman, is there
any harm in thatp"
"Harm2 There's death in it, Any.
body that has given this subject any at
tention knows that tocreate draught IL
to invite the lightning, You haven't
half shut it, hut it ti9ht-inh do hurry,
or we are all destroyed. Oh, it is IN 0w-
ful thing to bo shut up with lunatic at
such time as this. Montimer, what are you
doingP"
"Nothing. Just turning on the water.
This room is smotnering hot and close, !
want to battle my face and hands"
"YouIha certainly parte | with therein
nant OF you mind PWhere lightning strikes
any other substance once, it strikes water
fifty times. Do turn il off. Oh, dear, !
am sure that nothing in this world can
save us. 1t does seem to me that-Morti.
mer, what wa' that?"
at was dat was picture.
Knocked itdown."
"Then you are close to the wall. never
heard of such imprulence. Don't you
know that there Is no hetter conductor for
lightning than wallP Come away from
there! And you came as near as anything
to swearing, too. Oh how can you be so
desperately wicked, and your family in
such perilp Mortimer, did you order
feather bed, as asked you to do2"
"No. Forgot it"
"Forgotit! 1t may cost you your life
| II you had q feather bed, now, and could
spread it in the middle of the room and
lie on it, you would be perfectly safe.
Come in here-come quick, before you
have chance to commit any more frantic
indiscretions.
tried, but the little closet would not
hold us both with the door shut. unless
we could be content to smother. gasped
while then forced my way out Mr. wife
called out
Mortimer. something must be done
for your preservation. Give me that Ger
man book that is on the end OF the man
telpiece, and candle; but don't light it;
give me a match; will light it here
That book has some directions in it,"
got the boob, at cost of vase and
some other brittle things; and the mad