Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1880-10-29
The Gallagher Divorce Case.


MY name is Gallagher" said the stranger,
as he entered Colonel Browns law office.
Il called to see about suit of divorce"
Take seal" said the Colonel.
"In the first place." said Mr.. Gallagher,
81 want to ask, can a divorce be obtained
on the ground of general incompatibilityg"
II dunno" said the Colonel. 81 must as
certain the facts"
Because, if it can, want you to begin
sixty-eight divorce suits for me tomorrow
upon that ground"
Sixty -eight9"
Let me explain You see, about four
years ago went to Salt Lake City and l
was converted to the Mormon religion.
When joined, Bishop Grubb said ought to
marry, and so proposed for six daughters,
and we were consolidated at once. On the
following Thursday the Bishop died. He
left eleven widows, His executors pointed
out that | might probably assuage their
grief and get firmer grip on the property
by taking them out of their lonely condition.
| ~ = ihuAAiOu oiShi duN ilSO pUDlCu Ill TWO
sisters of one of them, living in Idaho, and a
cousin of another--a cousin who was single
and had cast in her eye"
"rhat made twenty, did its" observed the
Colonel.
"Twenty. Well, then, the impression,
your honor, naturally got around that was
u marrying man, and so the twelve apostles
at their next meeting sealed to me four wild
ows and an old maid that were drifting
about the settlement with no one in partic-
ular TO look after them, and as | took the
act good naturally, why, on the following
week Bishop Knox got the apostles to pass
over to me "a job lot of his relations includ-
ing two aunts, one grandmother and sec
ond cousin, and Bishop O'Tooe threw in a
step-sister, mother-in-law, and three mis-
cellaneous orphans, who were related to
nobody. So, you see, was gradually get
ting quite little family about me-"
81 see" said the Colonel
"And then, your honor, ifany unattached
woman would come along on the emigrant
trains, they were always ordered to be mar
ried to me, so that eventually in addition to
my other wives, had gathered in two
WEIGH women, a Mexican, an old lady
from the Sandwich Islands, three Peruvians,
the widow of a japanese acrobat, and
Kickapoo squaw thought the heads of
the church were little hard on me, but
had TO submit"
"Did you have II happy household?"
81 am just coming to that can't say
that we are all perfectly congenial, our tastes
differ so. The Bishop Grubb delegation,
for instance, would want caromels for break
fast in the morning, when the folks from
Peru were determined to have CLANS Bishop
Knox's detachment would insist on clean
ing house at the very time when Bishop
O'Tool's relations wanted TO give II party.
If the Sandwich Islander and the squaw
wanted TO boil dog or two in the soup ket-
tie, there was always a fuss with the other
women, and the Mrs. Gallagher who came
from Japan used to make the rest Of the
ladies furious by turning somersaults in the
! paror when there was company. AS for
wash day Well, one wanted it ON Mon
! day, another would have it on Tuesday, and
so on. If there had been thirty seven days
in "a week, we should have had washing
going on in each of Them"
precisely"
Sand then Emiine, one of my first batch
Of wives, had studied medicine, and she was
always practicing upon the others. She in
troduced whooping-cough into the family
in order to try favorite remedy of hers.
Imagine sixty-eight women in one house
with the whooping- cough And then she
put ipecac in their tea few weeks after
wards, TO see if it would give them the
asthma, and ii did. The whole crowd went
around gasping for breath, and | think the
Mexican woman short winded for life. |
demonstrated with Emeline, but the very
next day she tried TO vaccinate the old lady
from the Sandwich Islands by boring hole
in her elbow with gimlet"
Didn't mind you, eh?"
mo. And so one day, about three weeks
ago, | brought home a poodle for Julia, one
of the younger ones. This looked lit
tie like Partially, and of course the sixty.
seven others wanted poodle apiece at once.
Now, Pm not able TO pay a dog tax sixty
eight times year, so | saw there was trou-
BILE brewing, and the next day when came
home every woman of them had dog Of
her own: been out and bought them. They
ranged from blood hound 10 black -and-tan
terriers. | demonstrated, and then-well,
the women began 10 cry and that set the
dogs 10 barking, and then Lucinda went for
Julia's hair, an the other ladies Joined in,
and the dogs pretty soon began TO engage
in the controversy, and in a few minutes,
what might have been happy family circle,
was good deal more like copy Of the bat
te-held Of Waterloo So fled and took the
first train for the East, and abandoned the |
Mormon religion permanently, and what | |
want 10 know is If / can have those sixty. |
eight marriage bonds united. Money is no |
object, 80 that can get loose"
81 think team be done" said the Colonel.
"Call in Tomorrow"
And Mr.. Gallagher withdrew with the air
of man whose mind had been greatly re-
licyed.-Ma5 AdLer.
They tell good story Of Grant, albeit a |
little too rough 10 be fully committed 70 |
print, which illustrates the degree Of har.
mony existing in the Republican party