The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1880-07-17

York to New Orleans. Their impyes-
sion seemed to be that they had only to
choose -that the minister would turn
his back on any place, even Boston,
and come to us on the first lightning
express.
But when eleven preachers had de-
clined our calls, it began to be realized
that two parties are needed to bargain.
But after while they looked over to
Nova Scotia and saw Rev. Mr.. An
drews writing book on the :" Conserve
ton of Natures Forces" He had al
ready published number Of philosoph-
ical works, had discovered / don't know
how many of natures secrets, and had
invented something. Well, he was in
stalled over our church.
Now, know l hadn't thing against
Mr.. Andrews. Indeed, had been SO
tried by " supplies in the interregnum,
that / had promised myself to like him;
but that first Sunday, / felt it to the
bottom of my heart that Mr.. Andrews
would never make pastor.
l never heard anybody speak who
seemed so far away, and knew that he
never could get close to us. You've
seen mothers who could never get down
to their children. / knew that Mr.. Cor
hams photograph would make about as
good a pastor as Mr.. Andrews ever
could. "He may write the profoundest
philosophy l said to my husband,
!" but for q pastor give me Mr.. Cor
ham, who bore it in mind that my boy
was collecting postage stamps and
brought him any rare one he CHANGED
upon; who designed Fanny new pat
terms for worsted-work; who remeni-
bered the anniversary of Baby's death,
and always sent white flowers for our
little grave"
Without doubt Mr.. Andrews did
preach strong sermons; without doubt
/ never understood one of them.
If ever man dwelt apart, he did.
It's mystery to me how he ever man.
aged to get married. His wife told me
that he has met her on the street face
to face and passed on without recog-
nizing her. I've been introduced to
Mr.. Andrews nine times and every time
he has stared at me in bewildered
way, as though l was a personified
conundrlim.
Such man is bound to make blum
ders. The first time he performed q
marriage service in church, you ought
to have been there. The bride said she
was actually uneasy for fear he would
marry her to the wrong man in the con-
fusion. In the prayer, he invoked COM
fort for The SURVIVING sister, as though
the bride was dead.
And this was a marriage in high life.
Why, the bride was second cousin to
John T. Waltz. All the connection felt
mortified at the blunder.
But this was nothing to his blunder
with Mrs. Howell. He officiated at
Mr.. Howell funeral, which was q mag
nificent funeral, for Mr.. Howell was
wealthy and influential and trustee in
the church. Well, about two weeks
after the funeral. Mr.. Andrews met
Mrs. Howell and inquired after the
health of her husband. She was SO
wounded that she left the church.
"a man who is SO forgetful about a
vital experience of another heart is not
fit to be PASTOR she said.
But three Sundays ago. poor Mr..
Andrews blunders reached climax.
1t was the day for the baptism of chill
dren. John L. Waltz's grandson was
the only one reported for baptism. and
the baby was to be christened John
T-making the fourth one of that
name in a directline. Ofcourse it was
to be a most interesting occasion. Mr..
Andrews had been interviewed and in
structed and drilled as to some of the
details of the ceremony.
Sunday morning showed the church
beautifully decorated; the baptismal
bowl was wreathed and so were the
Waltz pews. At an early hour, the
church was crowded, for the people
were curious to see how the rich baby
would be dressed, how he would deport
himself during the ceremony and what
the mother would wear.
When Mr.. Andrews rose to begin the
service, the Waltz people. with John
T. the fourth and the nurse, were
already in the pews, for the bap-
tismal ceremony was to be performed
at the close of the opening exercises.
During the reading Of the first hymn
John the fourth began to cry. Then,
what q disturbance in the congregation!
All who could. without gross indecorum,
look into the Waltz pew, looked.
The minister seemed, in vague way,
to feel the disturbance. He gazed about
in helpless bewilderment. The crying
became screaming. Then decision
was reached. Without so much as if you
please. Mr.. Andrews issued the order:
Remove that crying baby from the
church,"
At these astounding words the dis
turbance became vehement. Surprise,
curiosity, CONSERVATION, struck all
through the congregation. Some got
to their feet in the eagerness to see
how the Waltzes were behaving in the
extraordinary situation. Think no one
would have been surprised at anything,
that Grandpa Waltz. might have done.
The minister kept on with his read
ing, and the baby kept on with its cry
ing, while the excited congregation
4 4 4 l..