Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-01-09
Hawkeye Editorial Dots.

A""AeJo GuiGVTiai lots.
When . schooner Of beer ia oro..;no
the bar there is always somebody ready
to pilot in.
The New York papers speak Of the
" Business Mems Moderation Societv. !"
How's that? Only one drink at time?
There's one good thing about these
vide belts; they keep the human arm
from marking the dress. That ia so
we have been told.
A fashion magazine says, "Ulsters
will be worn somewhat longer this win.
ter" Well, then, the men who wear
them have got to wear stills. that's all.
Why" the boy asked, "do you
blow down the muzzle of your gun 2"
" To see" replied the man, eff it is
And just then he discovered that it was.
An Alabama paper "thanks heaven"
that there is not Grant club in the
south. There used to be plenty of
them, and Grant did all the clubbing
for them himself.
The brewers excuse themselves for
putting SO much soap in their beer by
saying that it helps to wash it down.
This may be true, but the assistance is
entirely superfuous.
If a man is dissipated, it is true that
he will not live out half his days, but
then young Keepitup says he lives out
about two-thirds of his nights, and that
makes good average.
The great cathedral in Cologne has
been building for six hundred and
twenty six years and isn't completed
yet. Nov have We stronger hopes for
the Washington monument.
IT. 81 the growing fashion in London
and Paris to substitute page boys for
bridesmaids at weddings" This takes
world of wasting brain work off the
descriptive Jenkins Of the morning pa.
pers.
Scribner 4 Weldon have imported q
large illustrated edition of Seymour
Hayden's About Etching" We
haven't seen it, but We think a steady
diet of buckwheat cakes is about the
etchingest thing this country knows of.
You can almost always tell that a
young man has been ground through q
school of elocution when you hear him
get up and recite, Rock tin theke ra.
die OF thede cap" We don't know
what it means, but that is what he says,
Cities all through the west that have
been increasing in population at the
rate of one hundred per cent per an.
mum by the unaided efforts Of the poor
but honest directory, now "view with
alarm" the preparations for the next
census. But they are all right up to
the present time"
Did you ever notice that there is
something really musical in the pitiful
weeping Of your own baby. God bless
it, and notwithstanding, every
thing fiendishly discordant in the
squawling Of your neighbours bowling
young one How is that any how, that
tits always that way?
The legislature Of Texas is going to
enact law making it a misdemesnor,
if not a felony, for any man to accept a
railroad pass. That is sensible and
proper. Then they should pass bill
hanging any man who is elected to the
legislature, aud then the session could
close covered with glory.
Republican or Democratic conven
tion," says Benny Ben, OF Massachu.
sets looking TRANQUILITY forward to
1880, +" may name the next president,
but furnish all the campaign bunting
for both sides all the same" And q
little thing like that naturally does tend
to give man little interest in politics.
The baby of the mayor of Stafford,
England, is rocked to sleep in solid
silver cradle, but it wakes in the night,
kicks off the covers. rattles the old man
with his howls, and makes him take up
his son and patrol the floor with him
until 2 AM, all the same as though he
went to rest in an old trunk lid ON slab
rockers.
Young man, we don't want to dis
courage you, but it is estimated that
more than ninety-nine per cent of all
the poetry written on the changing sea-
sons is never published. II you would
save all the paper you write poetry on,
and sell it to the old rag man at two
cents pound. you would soon have
enough money to buy an ulster with.