Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-12-02
Sips Of Fun.
"Many arc called but few are

"Many arc called but few are
chosen Ito occupy political Of
flee,
"The suspense is over!" as
the Sheriff said when he cut
down the criminals body.
"My burden is light" remark
ed the little man carrying a big
torch in the procession.
When a Boston man invites
you to dinner, and heads Il post
script N. H., he means 'no
beans"
a paper speaks of Il meteor
"about ms large rs basket" "
The tail must have been us long
as q piece of string.
Ayoung lady being blamed for
allowing her glove to be found
i'm a young mans pocket, stated
that she had no hand-in it.
Some hygienists declare that
ice-water cuts off more lives
than the sword. Perhaps Death
has changed his sickle for an
icicIe.
A Fall River girl. earning a
salary Of rs a week, has fallen
huiress to $4,000. We never
noticed it before, she is very
pretty. aisns yltle
Many a book agent and can
vasscr has discovered that the
"wclcomc" on a door-mat refers
TO the third house around the
corner.
A ,dressmaker got mad be-
cause her lover serenaded hel
with q flute. She said she got
fIuting enough in her regular
business.
Publishers say that light read
ing is good, willie doctors say
that light reading is injurious to
the eyes. Now, which are we
to believe?
A man has invented a chair
that can be adjusted to 800 diff
ferent positions. 1t is designed
for a boy to sit in wien he goes
to church.
Cicero said: "Nothing should
be done hastily" The old chap
was wrong. IF you see a man
coming at you with an ak get
away as hastily as you can.
The reason why the old Nor
wegian poets are not more cele-
brated is because their names
cannot be handed down to pos
terity without breaking.
"Does sister Annie ever say
| anything about ne, bub" in
CURED Augustus Of Annie's lit
lie brother while waiting IN the
parlor. Yes replied bub,
"shc says if you'd had rockers
on your shoes they'd make nice
cradles for me"
A girl in Kentucky struck
her croqnet partner OH the head
withia mallet; brain fever set in.
and the young man nearly died.
The girl was kept under arrest
until. his recovery, and when he
got well she married him, and
now he's sorry he didn't die.
If the young woman who sent
us the poem, "Our thoughts are
far too sweet for words" had
stopped with that much, We
would have been too gallant to
have disbelicyed her, but when
she wrote sixteen verses of il,
| it looked a little as if the poor
girl were mistaken.
Fitting embIems are not al
ways appreciated. The, neigh
bors Of ppora fellow who died e.
rected a tombstone to his mem
DRY and had placed above it the
conventional white dove. Tho
widow looked at it through her
tears, and said: at was very
\ Thoughtful to put il there. John
was very fond Of cunning, and
it was an espccially-suited en-
blem." 4v
/ A Western man having lost
his wife, a sympathizipg friend
remarked upon his woe-begonc
appearance. SWELL guess you
would look thin too" was the
melancholy rejoinder, eff you
had to get up before daylight
make the fires, draw water, split
\ wood, and feed the cattle before
breakfast. i tel. you what it is,
if | don't get some one to fill
poor, dear, sainted Maria's place.
| shall be resting by her side be-
fore many weeks"
Popping the Question in Tyrol.
Tyrolean maidens are by old
custom spared the necessity of