The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1880-06-23
lI.dIior I,aell,ar,s AaElslani.

assistant had the cheek Of abfassi
statue, and the audacity Of a New
England fly, both indispensable az,
tributes of the newspaper man; but
still, after. being in the city about a
week, he began to grow uneasy, and
telegraphed TO Chodunk: "a
Allows things2'
Back came the answer from the.
Union's whilom editor:
'Bullyl Circulation of the old
things gone up a thousand. Been
getting up a red-hot paper and there
isa gang outside that are weeping.
because they can't hois. the shingles.
off the roof and knock The whole con-.
Germ to thunder. staysaway asl long
as you Ike
Bagshot didn't waste a moment
after receiving this encouraging dis.
patch.
He started home on e5iifst train;
and reached Chodunk before night.
The frstrman that struck him was
the ticket agent. "Eook here, Colo
nell" he cried excitedly, 4Tye a
darned good notion toSSpunch your
head; you brazea:faced liarl,s
"Why?" asked Bagshot.
"Read that" and the ticket agent
showed q crumpled Union into his
hand wy q. i'' Il 4.
There was a paragraph, marked, as
follows: yJ,,l g1
"RAILRoAp ws.-The handy leg
legged idiot swho fobs The railroad
company at this village has pur-
chased a new knife. More knocking
down from the cash drawer"
Bagshot BIT his lip, ~ IS
''1"Bill,' said he, "that's Il calunny,
and.l'll see it righted in our next
It's my cussed assistants work"
II don't care whose work it's"
growled the agent, shut if it amt
contradicted, somebody's got to die;
that's ALL" z ~
Bagshot didn't reply, but sailed
down the street to the Union office.
He had not gone half q block be-
fore he collided with Deacon Marsh.
The Deacon seized hin. by the
shoulder and exclaimed:
"What do you mean, Bagshot, by
inserting that scandalously untrue
item about me?" ~ s,
Didn't insert any ITEM" replied
the Colonel. eg.. ,,s ,.e.,,..
ppu't'sneak out oft in that way.
You know you did. Why, just cut
it out of the Union-listen:"
"RELreIoUs INTEILIGEYoE.-That
whitcd sepulchre, Deacon Marsh, was
noticed, last Saturday. night, trying
to openathe coalhole in front of his
residence with his night key. The
Deacon was as full as a goat, and
couldn't tell moonshine from green
cheese" .-.
eNow, that's nice, amt it saying
that | was intoxicated Saturday night
when ! went, to bed at seven with2a
raging toothache?"
otis that reckless fool whom l left
in charge" groaned the Colonel
I'll makoit all right, Marsh" and
Bagshot scurried on again, only to be
confronted by Major Blim.
Colonel" uttered Blim, in his
deepest voice, "this is villainous! It's
my intention, sir, to call you and
shoot you through the heart. What
the deuce do you mean by publish
ing this note in the Union?"
"MnlTARY JorrlNds.TMajor Blim,
the tattered old beggar, who hid in
an oyster barrel during the battle of
Bull Run, wears wig. He ought to
be shot in the back with a baked APP.
pie"
81 can't help it, Blim," said Bag
shot, wiping his forehead, otis all
owing to that young devil in the of
fee. He has made a red-hot paper.
Just wait, Major, and I'll fix things"
Then Bagshot started again. By
The postolice old Parker grabbed
him.
"oh, you unfeeling ghoul!" walled
Parker, "you ought to be rode on Il
rails Thdiidea of making fun of my
poor, dead child"
aHoww .'s
SLOW? have you The cheek to ask
hou0 NTo,,Lo 80. 1.1SI ~