The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-06-05
VARIETY.

The gem puzzle again-Creedmore shooting on
June IL, IA, IS.
Can any one improve his condition by whin-
ing2 If not, whine not
The world may owe you living, but you must
collect your Own bills
They've at last found use for Alaska 1t is to
furnish Job for a census taker.
Ought not the song in PinGfore to commence
a. am sweet little Oleomargarinecup
An exchange speaks Of 81 sea Of glass; We
presume it refers to somebody's glass eye.
How some men do coniound gardeners and bill
Iiardists when they tell Us to mind our peas and
cues.
An Indication of spring-A schoolboy putting
c bent pin in his masters chair.
The most exasperated man is be whose collar
button comes of and leaves his collar at half
mast
The King of Slams full name is Phrabat Som
detch Phara Paramendo Maha Chutahlongkorn
Glow.
This seasons bathing-dresses for ladies are to
be built Of oiled silk. Keeps out the water bet
tern blue cloth.
Tom Savers would fight anybody or anything
at a moments notice, and yet he had to be
coaxed for two weeks to have tooth pulled.
English papers are now using the word
81 boom" After q while it will get into the
dictionary
The Governor Of Ohio has pardoned so many
criminals that Ohio is expected to poll full
vote.
Boston has the champion mean man. He was
Obliged TO have large safe hOisted from the
street TO a third-stOry window, and caused IL to
be done at night, when the crowd that always
enjoys such q sight eOuldn'. have seen the affair
even If they had known anything about it.
Please pass the butter is onerous. Al
low the oleomargarine to slide down this way"
is now the - prOpah capah. ."-Nel1 HGUel Reg
lister. - Chuck me hunk Of grease is more
CONCEALED bovine essence has been used with
efect.-R0ehester Express.
An Ohio girl sued MAJ for a breach Of pro-
mise and proved him such q mean scOundrel
that the jury decided that she ought to pay him
something for not marrying her.
A Yankee came running down to the pier just
as a steamer starting. The boat moved
Of some four or Eve yards, as be took jump,
and coming down on the back OF his head on
deck, he lay stunned for two or three minutes.
When he came to the boat had gone the best
part Of a quarter Of n mile, and raising his head
and looking TO the shore the Yankee said
's Great Jehosaphat what jump
A new model for the waist of a house dress is
very much like the old Garibaldi. IL is smooth
.,s the shoulders and shirred at the belt line.
Th.. front is round and belted in, but the back is
%. q 7stiliOH laid in side plaits and very wide and
deem The sleeves for this waist are gathered IN
a. ~. armhole and shirred az the elbow, with
fall dee puff covering the upper half Of the arm.
A self m Gle finishes the sleeves.
A roas wrote q stirring ode on a victim Of per-
aacution- VI 10 was burned at the stake about the
time Of the Reformation, IN which occurred the
line See tb, pale martyr in his sheet Of FIRE
of vvb;cb the n ret especially proud but the
printer accidenn VI 20. IL See the Pale martyr
with his shirt on nre
"a Don,t waste your time clipping of the
branches :" sa1d the woodman to his son, - but
law vour ax at the .Foot Of the tree And the
vouna man went and laid his AZ at the foot OF the
tree. like a good and d. utiful son-and then went
a fishing. Truly, there Is nothing SO beautiful
as flial obedience
.o particular about carr wing their umbrellas into
the pews with them, but would leave them out 10
the vestibule they would show more talth IN
chose who attend the same church As &c Is,
there is little encouragement Tor poor man 20
trv and accumulate umbrella
A French physician has published a pamphlet
showing the terrible I" effects OF smoking on the
haart y But we have known more terrible effects
10 be produced on the heart in five minutes by
IittIe maiden in a calico dress than by twenty
wears of steady and untiring devotion to the
weed.
American tradesmen who claim genius for ad-
vertising should listen to q Berlin grocer, who
thus informs the public through the Borsen
Zeitunq- Twins are come to me for the third
time This time boy and a girl L entreat my
friends and patrons to support me stoutly- TX
ceIlent butter, well worth its price. Similarly
sausage and cheese -
Innocent females astOnish Plattsmouth occa-
sionGlIy. The other afternoon one went to Mer-
-ges and bought n pair Of shoes. Peter was in the
sct of sprinkIing some chalk powder inside, so
thew might slip on easily. She glanced furtiVely
az rim and remarked: 81 know what you are do
in9." The genial Peter smiled acquiescenee
She slid toward the door, and said, IN tones that
.ss-sJsd the nerves of Peter, Huebner, Marshall,
etc: s.You can't chIoroform me, Mister; L was
fooled once before, and I'm blamed If do 1t
-a1aJn And she left without the shoes.