davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
Did You Ever Sect

Did you ever see a bald-headed ma n
who didn't have such beautiful head
of hair till "that fever" or that some
thing or other took it Off"
Did you ever see an old bachelor who
was not forever seeking for marriage
infelicities, to reconcile himself to his
own lonely lotP
Did you ever see a small boy so
wanting in spirit that one diurnal
doubling-up throughout the summer
could effect a radical cure in his imma-
ture fruit-eating proclivitiesP
Did you ever see young lady who
wouldn't rather hear her husband
praised by lady in the next town than
by the lady in the next housep
Did you ever know man who habit
ually tells all he knows, who did not
everlastingly repeat himselfP
Did you ever know man who talked
much of himsel who did not have a
poor subject for his conversational
Did you ever know a fool who was
aware UIlaU ne was 1OOlE
Did you ever think that you might be
thus oblivious as to yourselfP
Did you ever see another do the same
thing three times without thinking that
he could do it much betterP
Did you ever know a swindled man
whose hurts were not partially healed
by hearing of another man being
swindled in like mannerP
Did you ever know young lady
with new and neatly fitting waist
who thought the weather was cold
enough for wrap
Did you ever see man with large
feet who did not declare that his boots
were two sizes too big-that he likes
them easy, you knowP
Did you ever think that men are
the biggest fools in creation, and that
the women enjoy the fun of letting
them remain unconscious of itP
Did you ever see young man who
carried cane who would not repel the
insinuation of lamenessP
Did you ever see a drinker or a
smoker that couldn't leave off at any
time, if he wanted TOP
Did you ever think what horrid chill
dren good people haveP
Did you ever think what horrid chill
dren these goodeopl e's parents proba-
bly, had, the good peoples stories to the
contrary Notwithstanding
Did you ever feel like immolating
the shopkeeper whose free use of your
name made that name seem hateful and
odious to youP
Did you ever thinkp--BoSton Tran.
Scrtpt.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
Curious Theory of Bathing Accidents,

A naval oliicer writes to the London
Standard as follows: Being in an out
of-the-way place, only saw your edi-
torial remarks on bathing accidents
recently. ask for space in your paper
to relate what happened to myself some
years back. The ship l belonged to
was lying for long time in Alden har-
Dor. Some of the men went to play
cricket every evening. To save the
trouble of sending large boat with
them we used send our clothes on shore
in the Jolly boat. and the Erester portion
of the men would jump overheard and
swim to the shore. Of course we used
to race to reach the shore first; one
evening while so doing l had tug to
win, and got very much out of breath,
and began to breathe through my mouth.
A puff of wind came from the hills and
raised ripple, little globules of water
flying along the surface. Breathing
hard I sucked globule into my throat,
and Immediately had the suffocating
sensation that occurs when a glass of
water is said to "go the wrong way"
| could neither get any breath in nor
any out, and soon began to feel l was
dying on the top of the water. There
must have been dozen men close to
me, but could not speak, much less call
to them. kept swimming on for the
shore. In about thirty seconds my
senses began to leave me. / ceased
swimming, and my legs went down,
when, luckily for me, they touched the
bottom; p violent jump helped me to
cough up the drop OF water, | staggered
on shore, and fell quite exhausted on the
beach, much to the surprise of all the
men with ne. A man taken with pal
pitation of the heart can stop swimming
and call out, unless he is struck with
apoplexy; but man with a drop OF
water in his windpipe cannot speak, but
goes on swimming strongly till few
seconds before his death. ! have paid
much attention to accounts of bathing
accidents, and have invariably found
that, although the body Of person sup
posed to be seized with cramp is picked
up in a minute or two afterward, no re.
covery takes place. The remedy, or
rather the prevention, of such a sudden
death is very easy-only breathe through
the nose while swimming, keeping the
mouth closed.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
Unable 70 Make q Trade.

The family had only lately moved In
the neighborhood. A day or two after
their arrival the head OF the family went
to a grocer in the neighborhood and
asked the price of can of condensed
milk.
Fifteen cents" said the proprietor.
Fifteen fiends" exclaimed the Gus.
toner; why, man alive, don't want
to buy dozen cans, but only one. What
do you ask for half can, wholesale
fguresP"
Never sell half can"
81 reckon you never sell anything il
you mark your goods up that way. Sup
pose l take one whole can, will you
come down TO dimeP"
Fifteen cents is the usual price"
That may be with unreliable, tran
sient customers, but am an old citizen
of Galveston, and the store that catches
my permanent trade will have TO be
enlarged within six months. Say a
dime, and throw in pound or two OF
soda crackers and it's whack."
DO you buy a good deal in the course
of a yearP" asked the proprietor, with a
sneer.
"Do buy good deals should say
l did. Why, it won't be more than two
months before I'll Rave to get another
box of matches. The box am using
now is more than half gone, and l only
got it last February, too. Say dime
for the condensed milk, and one of them
stale watermelons thrown in as a sorter
of an inducement, and you can put these
two nickels in your buIglar-proof safe"
Fifteen cents is the lowest price,"
81 wish you could see nv blacking
brush. 1t can't hold over Christmas,
and then lam bound to negotiate for
new one. Throw one box of blacking
in with the condensed milk and it's
transaction"
l won't do It,"
"All right! You won't do it! I'll just
keep my eye on you. I'll bet your stock
is insured for twice what it's worth,
and you are going to have fire pretty
soon. When merchant don't care to
build up trade, he is fixing to fail or
swindle somebody somehow. Good.
morning, Galveston NeWs.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
THE BEARDED WOMAN.
One of Barnum's Noted Curiositis

OF Barnum's Bearded Woman, v
who died near Syracuse, N. Y, short
time ago, the New York Sun Says Mrs
Rebecca Lyon was her name, and fol
years she has been exhibited In this city
and throughout the country. She was 8
genuine bearded woman, having a fine,
long, brown beard and graceful brown
mustache. Aside from the beard heI
appearance was thoroughly feminine.
Her features were delicate and regular,
her brow was broad and low, and from
1t heavy mass of shining brown hair
swept back and was tastefully arranged.
Her eyes were gray, large and pleasing
and were veiled by long, curling lashes.
The brows above them were too heavy
for beauty. Madame Lyons beard, which
was her fortune, would have been 9
prize to many youth. 1t was silky,
wavy and luxuriant. Her mustache, q
shade lighter than the beard, curled
gracefully upon her short upper lip.
She was graceful and feminine in all her
movements. Her voice was a trifle
peculiar, having the setni-masculine
tone that marks the boys voice just as il
is changing.
81 know her quite WE'LL" said 3
pleasant-faced woman in the ticketbox
of the museum at 295 Bowery. 81 was
with her a good deal last winter, when
she was here. This was then the Amer.
ican Dime museum. She was perfect
lady, very gentle, making many friends
wherever she worked. There was one
remark that was almost always passed
upon her. 1t was that her face, with its
brown beard and soft gray eyes, looked
like the pictures of the Savior. Iheard
this time and time again. Her husband
took tickets here while she was in the
museum. All last summer she was at
Coney Island, in Middleton and Ufner's
Seaside aquarium. She LETT there
awhile ago to go on the road, l believe
She was about thirty-fve years DID,"
Professor G. w. McGlennen, proprie.
tor of the Crest European museum and
theatrum, in the Bowery, said that he
had known and exhibited Madam Lyon
for years. She was first exhibited by P.
7. Barnum, and was connected with his
museum when it burned. She was also
with Forepaugh's for two years. "Her
husband was at one time on the police
force here" said the professor. "ShH
bad two or three children, / am quite
certain, and l believe that she has
daughter living near Syracuse now."
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12

be afraid-1 shall not make love to you
any more. I've lived to be sixty years
old without marrying, and / wouldn't
wed the finest woman alive If you
hadn't refused me, should have run of
70 the Sandwich Islands to escape
matrimony."
Adrienne opened her lovely eyes very
wide.
"Then why do you ask meP" she
said.
"Simply, my dear, to make certain
that you loved Allan for himself alone,
not because be was the nephew OF his
rich uncle. And I'm satisfied ncwp
II do love him." said Adrienne, with
tears in her eyes. "And | love you, too,
Uncle Bsrney--only In different sort OF
way"
"I'm quite satisfied, my DEAR" said
Uncle Barnabas. "And / shall take 1t
upon myself to see that neither of you
perish OF want"
So Adrienne Vail married rich
after all. Rich, not only in money and
sugar plantations, but rich in love and
true affection. Happy little Adriennel
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12

A reporter has interviewed Mr.. Bon.
ner concerning fast horses, and that
gentleman is far from willing to admit
that the world contains aeeter trottel
than one or two to be found in his stable
There is undoubtedly much rivalry be.
tween Mr.. Vanderbilt and the proprietor
of the Ledger as to who shall have the
fastest roadster, and had Mr.. Wander.
bilt's offer of $4,000 secured St. Julien
that gentleman would doubtless fee.
that he is the owner of pair which nc
one would be able to pass on the road
And s'ace it is generally believed that
Maud S. can equal if not improve the
time made by st. Julien at Hartford, he
no doubt considers himself the owner ol
the fastest roadster in the world. Mr..
Bonner believes that the best time on
record will yet be brought down several
seconds, and he is confident that Rarus
can trot in 2:lO, and that Edwin For
rest, with record of 2:l54 to wagon, is
the greatest wagon horse in the world.
Since Lady Suffolk trotted mile in
2;261, and Flora Temple in 2:l93, aston
ishing reductions in time have been
made, the official record of horses that
have gone below the time which made
Dexter famous being as follows'
2:ll4, S. Julien.
2:ll2, Maud S.
2I33, Rarus.
2;l4, Goldsmith Maid.
2:l43, Hopeful.
2l5, Lulu.
2:l5t, Smuggler.
2:l6t, Lucille Golddust.
2:l64, American Girl and Derby.
2:l63, Occident.
2;l7, Gloster.
2:l74, Dexter.
Mr.. Bonner attributes the improve
ment chiefly to toeweights, smoother
tracks and lighter vehicles, and con-
fesses that without his toeweights Ed
win Forrest would not be worth $500
and Maud s. would be no better. .-NesO
York Mail.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
Dropping q Seed.

Dropping a Seed.
The lands was still; the skies we're gray with
weepingi
Into the soft brown Garth the seed she cast
oh soon, she cried, will come the time oI
reaping,
The golden time when clouds and tears are
past
There came whisper through the autumn
haze,
"Yea, thou shalt ind It after many days."
Hour aiter. hour she ma ks the fitful cleaning
oi sunlight stealing through the cloudy LIT !
Hour alter hour she fingers, idly dreaming,
To see the rain iall, and the dead leaves
drift;
OH for some small green sign Of life, sho
prays,
Have not watched and waited "many days"
At carly morning, chilled and sad, she
hearkens
To stormy winds tnar through the willows
blow;
For over hill and plain the heaven darkens,
Her field is covered with a shroud OF snow;
Ah, Lord she sghs, are these thy loving
waysi
He answers -" Spake not of many days p
The snow-drop blooms the purple violet
glistens
On banks OF moss that take the sparkling
showers;
Hall cheered, half doubling yet, she strays
and listens
To robins singing to the shy young flowers;
A little longer still his love delays
The promised blessing" after many days"
"oh, happy world ~ che cries, "the sun is
shining
Above the soil 1 see the springing green;
1could not trust his word without repining,
Icould not wait in peace for things unseen;
Forgive me, Lord, my soul is full OF praise,
My doubling heart prolonged thy many
days'"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

A young man may be doing duty on
the tented field, and do nothing but
drive circus wagon.
A melancholy case of suicide-A
naughty little boy, having been threat.
ened with whipping, hung his head.
An individual who boasted of "mov-
ing in select circles" was afterward
ascertained to be the clown in circus.
The bee and m mule are too tender
hearted to look upon suffering. They
always turn their backs when they
strike.
Bets have been made In Russia that
the czar would Jt live year, and
the chaps who made the bets are now
living in Siberia.
A quart of milk for every six inhabi-
tants is the rule by which they calculate
the amount of milk required TO supply
the population of any city.
A physician in Pierce county, Wis
sonsin, hired two pugilists to accom-.
pany him on collection tour, and
avery man who could pay, but wouldn't,
was soundly whipped.
Among Lue hsn Ot the United States
the cod comes first in money value, the
salmon second, the mackerel third, and
then the menhaden. In weight the last
stands highest.
Take the elevator" is inscribed on
he fence of all Iowa meadow. A curl
Gus traveller who climbed the fence dis
covered in about ten seconds that the
elevator is of dark brindle color, with
. curl in the middle of his forehead.
Drunkenness is said to be greatly on
the increase in London. Ten years ago
The persons arrested for drunkenness or
for being drunk and disorderly num-
bered 81 ,625, whereas last year they had
increased to 1882, or to nearly fifty
seven per cent.
On the lst instant, says the Chicago
Journal, there were ninety -four lumber
yards in this city, which contained
467, ,966, ,545 feet of lumber and timber,
l7S, 1853, 900 pieces of shingles, 49, ,755,6
pieces of lath, Q, 1887 feet of pickets
and $1,000 pieces of cedar posts.
"In the hour of danger woman
thinks least of herself" said Nine. de
Stael. Truel When the thunder roars
and the vivid lightning flashes, and the
big drops come down, the woman who
is caught out in the storm devotes her
agony to the thought that her hat and
dress will be ruined.
The elephant hunters of Ceylon and
India corroborate Sindbad's story that
elephants, when they feel the approach
of death, retire to SOLITARY and inacces-
sible valley, and there die in peace. Mr..
Sanderson, superintendent of elephants
to the government of India, admits that
no living man has come across the corpse
of a wild elephant that has died a nat
ural death.
A Toronto patent-medicine man re-
Gently ruined the sale of his "Pulmonic
Balsam" by publishing testimonial
from a man who asserted that his wife
who had not been able to speak above
whisper for five years, had her voice
completely restored by the use of one
bottle. When the Toronto man real"
ized the effect of the publication, he
wrung his hands and said; can enemy
hath done this thing"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
A Ships Collision with an Iceberg

A Ships Collision with an Iceberg.
The steamer Harworth, with 1900
steel rails from Barrow-iu- Furness for
Montreal, collided with huge iceberg
in the Straits of Belle Isle, smashing a
hole in her bow some twenty feet in
width, breaking her stem to atoms, and
giving her an involuntary deck load Of
tons of ice, which toppled over upon
her from the iceberg and threatened to
sink her by sheer weight. She careened
so much that her stern was lifted high
up out of the water and threatened to
pitch her bow foremost into the depths.
All was confusion in moment, as the
collision was unlocked for, owing to
the night being clear and starlit. The
watch had been mistaken as to the ice
berg. They believed it TO be part OF
the overhanging clouds, and when the
crash came two of them were thrown
into the water. Boats were lowered,
manned and in readiness to leave the
vessel. An examination showed that
she would float and the crew set to work
to repair damages. John Randall, who
had gone overheard, was never seen
again. His companion in misfortune,
after floating with the help of water
barrel for half an hour, managed to
make himself heard and was rescued.
II took two days to repair damages and
to enable the vessel TO proceed.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
Uured nY HasfY Pudding.

Doctor Radcliffe cared but little for
books, and yet he left 100000 to found
the library at Oxford university, which
bears his name. A friend, visiting him
asked where his study was. Pointing to
few vials and a skeleton, he replied
"This is Radcli0e's library"
Though one Of the most successful
physicians of his day, he seemed to ig-
more physic. He once remarked, that
when he began practice he had twenty
remedies for every disease, but before
many years he found twenty diseases
for which he had but one remedy.
His reputation was due to the same
qualities which command success in all
departments of life-namely, quick
penetration, good sense, decision and
fertility of expedients.
He was called to gentleman i'll of the
quinsy. Seeing that neither on internal
nor an external application would be Of
any service, he ordered hasty pudding
to be made. When it was done, his
own servants having Deen instructed as
to their behavior, brought il to the pa
tents room.
"Come, Jack and Dick" said the
doctor, as the pudding was placed on the
table, "eat as quickly rs possible.
You've had no breakfast this morning"
Both began, but on Dicks dipping his
spool twice into the.pudding to Jacks
lf they quarreled.' From words
ent to throwing spoonfuls Of hot
q ,GaRihmlhAGT hen handfuls.
.ER|'|' amused '.l ass that that
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
RATES OF ADVERTISING.

Regular rate. OF advertising, 81 per square
hrst insertion, sai 81 cents each subsequent
Insertion.
Special cohlraois will be made for all Adver-
stmen,s foT four insertions or over.
TrApsien. advertisements always payable
quarterly IN advance.
Marriages and obituary notices, over one
'qusro, chFee for at half regular rates
All Local news 10 cents lh-1 for each in.
'artion.
No notices inserted for less than fifty cents
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12

Coaches run between Bristol and Memphis
without change.
No Sunday delays.
Baggage checked through.
VIM. KERR,
Passenger Agent, Knoxville Tenn.
JAMES II. OGDEN.
Genl Pass. Agt, Knoxville, Tenn.
T, 8. DAVANT,
Asst Gen1 Pass. Agt, Memphis Tenn.
j. W. SUTTON,
Passenger Agent, Chattanooga, Tenn.
O. @. MoMILLIN,
Ticket Agent, Chattanooga, Tenn.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
good performer.
The Beer Product of the World,

Some official tables connected with
the production of beer in all the Euro.
pean countries and the United States
have been lately issued under the au-
thority of the Austrian government.
The following is summary of the pro-
duction during 1879: The whole Ger
man empire produced 23,sll,l III British
barrels; Great Britain, 22,375, ,OlO
United States of North America, 8 1885,
959; Austria-Hungary, s,63s, 900; (;
France, 5,33l, ,s45; Belgium. 4,sOl. .77s;
Russia, A, 4O5, ia; the Netherlands, 97s,
9OS; Denmark, 672,5l7; Sweden, $685..
$50; Italy, 1900; Switzerland, 44s,-
1853; Norway, $4,000. The greatest
AASQduction in the proportion to the
lation is in Belgium, where l67
I1' |||| ,nar a litt1a Ovnr fhirtt, fo,,r and N
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12

There is a lad In Missouri who has no
ears, having been born into tlis noisy
world without any external appeQd;sn@a
Of that sort. He has not even an
M the side Of his head, yet bed 4
Auoh thy.os,gh iha, N, "a .snu' ~ X ' #.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
S N Y d Z RS
CURATIVE
= "A ID S !
THE MOST WONDERFUL HEALTH
RESTORERs KNOWN TO
MEDICAL SCIENCE.

Are worn externally. We make three dif.
ferent kinds, Ncs l, and 8.
No. /, For Chills and Fever, Dyspepsia, la
digestion. Biousness, Sick and Nervous Heed
Ache, and all diseases arising from q Torpid
Liver The most effective Blood Purifier ex-
tant gives strength to the weak and debilita-
ted, Price. 90.
No. 2. For Female Weakness and .rregulsrf-
ties, Falling Womb, Whites; enriches the
blood, purihes the secretions and strengthens
weakly and delicate females. Price s3.
No. 8. For Kidney, Spine and Bladder Affeo-
tions, Bright's Disease, Diabetes, Lame or
Weak Back, Tones up vitality and restores
lost energy. Price 50.
II your druggists does not keep 'SNYDERS
CURATIVE PADS, " and will not get one for
You do not lot him palm off worthless inita-
tions. but send the price to us in letter, and
we will mail them to you. Address
The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-11-12
Words Of Wisdom.

To rejoice in another's prosperity is to
give content to your own lot to mitigate
another's grief is to alleviate or dispel
your own.
A world without Sabbath would be
like man without smile, like sum-
mer without flowers, and like home
stead without garden.
A man is an i'll husband of his honor
that entereth into any action, the failing
wherein may disgrace him more than
the carrying OF it through can honor
him.
A helping word TO one in trouble is
often like switch on a railroad track
but one inch between wreck and smooth.
, 1880-06-20

distribution Of fund to persons whose owner
sup IS dedntt and absolute. II there fs a
tecnacal insolvency, even upon assumptions
which, unlike those made by the law, conform to
me tacts It does not necessarily follow that the
eetnpany could not aud would not rcetpre itself
"a a. c9ure t ct time BY its own vitality il lot alone
oy me Statc; for. let 1t be understood the pur-
port OF insolvency is that the onpany Is in
eucn condition to-day that, It does hot finprnus
91edntc'tte, it will probably become commercially
lnsolvent some time In the future. Bur oven sup
posing the insolvency to forbid hope Of rcstor1a-
4on. the case makes not the aIiahtest cali for q
receiver Nothing car be at puco SO simple.
JUST and sensible as this COURSES
FIRST. hold all operations suspended Temporal
thy; second summon tho members to select
their own agenr, and, provided be represents
theln; put him in charge us manager, properly
guarded. Third, allow them to say whether they
WISH the Company to continue business a. be-
foro after the policies shall have been scaled
u0'vn to tit the assets. Fourth, IT this coutiuu-
unee Is not desired. let tho risks be reinsured in
bulk, provided suitable terms can. be obtained,
TOR TOR thS tdfo,oa also Fifth. falling this, let
neas continued as to existing risks. Ex-
Penses having been reduced to the minimum as
they could then be, let the process OF receiving
rcuew.ils and paying accruing claims 20 on until
tho business closes itself in the natural way. OF
course, such members us might Wish to retire
could be allowed to do SO upon rigorous condI-
lions, which the circumstances would Justify
about surrender values.