Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-10
WISE AND OTHERWISE.

Some men wcrc born fpr great things.
sOm0 men were born tor small;
Some-lt y not recorded
Why they were born a. all
And som- uhc wOrthicst Of the lOll
should have bson born, but they were not
WHY IN tho vowel go" the only ono
sounded Because all tho others are
in audible.
It's very curious thing that the Nj
hilists haven't tried kerosene lamp on
the Gar dibany Tina
John A. Logan claims right 10 have
his own opinions. Lot him have them.
Nobody else wants them II Boston Post.
Grant vas always a poor grammar
ian. lie never could decline anything
--.StiTm S,u,bcdm.
"Blainc may plant and Sherman wa
ter, says the DeadNood Pioneer, but
Grant will carry OF the persimmons.
cone man profits by another mans
mistakes" True, lngcrsoll has made
SO 600 by the Mistakes Of Moses"
Tennyson, the poet, spends, II Is
said, hours on "A single line. Thls N
lust what "A hshworm does sometimes.
The London Truth speaks Of our
american girls Of thirty seli-reliant
and Independent in their lives
-as pretty young bachelors In petit
coats
II is, perhaps, natural b. conclude
that Father Time IL married, not be-
cause lac il called Father, but because
he ia ~ often taken by the iorclock.-
indrS,r's Bd:,ir
A Virginia gentleman has invented
something which will cause the rain to
decrnd when needed. Another inven-
ton il wanted something that will
cause II Ia stop.-N y, ddrcritser.
Problem ia logic II God made the
country aud man made the town, who
made New Jersey . Puck.
The poet Tcnnyson is worth $1,000, OOO.
and W. don't see what use there wus IN
In his writing Come not when ! AIN
deal" They'll be on hand, every one
OF them, when the will is opened. -tm'
cimat Enquirer.
An Illinois Justice. who was called
upon 10 marry a couple, ran oil with the
girl aud married hcy himself, leaving the
lover in his office 10 read over Law books
and spit on the stove.
A young man at Omaha did not wish
d. marry the girl 10 whom be- was en-
gagged, but she would not release him
until he gave her his grocery buviucss
as recompsnsc. She now runs the
store. while he works somew here else on
a small salary, and the bargain pleascs
both.
A paragrlphcr attended the funeral OF
a man 10y the name Of Murch, the 9th
or day, and as the body VAS being laid
away Ia IT, last resting place, the ruling
passion proved strong IN dcath-Or near
death and the paragrapher put his
twcnty.cent handkerchief to his eyes
and moancd, "Oh, this stomb MurchV "
lie escaped.
Professor Peters has discovered an
other comet. ilbdHy Journal We'll,
what good will u do hlm' lie cannot
sell il. Tie cannot trade Il for dog
lie cannot spout II for twenty-five
centA The fact ~ this country has got
al the comets IL wants. -CHc'mdi' Com.
m,r,idL
The Kccnc ~. lll>altiaoi tells Of a
lady Who, having bought some dry
goods very chcaply by representing that
She could get ihem at that price q, an.
other store, aud having subsequently,
learned that the latter store had marked
up its goods, senl the deficiency to the
dealer She bal patronlIcd with the ex-
PLANTATION Of the facts.
-. 49,, aft., "A intar fnaFn
And came o. break lAst rather late,
Nst raised a fuss because thcc was
Nonicr pancakes upon his plate.
Ills father took him Der his kncc;
Raised he hls hand Oh through thsAlt
And when the boy got lDOsc from him
lie hid bis spAnkache Ia the chair