The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-07-29
".I" :.
q BRIC-1-BHIG.'


80 TR1C-I-b -bN1c.
a email boy would rather bust q
pal,er bag than be President.
--"Please pass the bltttcr,o as tho
by rail. ~ eo"'
1t is expected that this couptry,s
this fall.
1t is q very weak man who hasn't
strength enough to hold an official DO
sition. ~
The Chinese have named th,ir war
vessels after The letters Of the Greek
alphabet.
'--Two-thirds ofthe worlds trouble
nes between an cNtinguished light and
the edge Of the bed.
"A young man in Iowa has become
partly demented by'his vain efforts to
raise q mustaclic.
The skipper who lost his dog over
BOARD remarked that his bark was on
the troubled seas.
;, circumstances alter cases." said
the unsuccessful LAWYER, "but nv
cases don't alter my circumstances"
"A man arrived in Lcadvillc with q
White shirt on, u few DAYS ayo. mud
the governor had to put the CITY under
martial law ut once.
-Ihe base drum player makes more
noise than anybody else, but he doesn't
lead tho band. There is u moral TO
this. '''''' al "
,-Governor General Lorne's ipl,
bottle was made from the hoofof the
chargor- that carried Lord Cliyo
through the Crimean war.
An impccunious man generally
dcsignatcs ten nollar note as a "Wil.
ham," because he is not on such FERNS
OF familiarity with it us would cntitlc
him to call il "Bill."
-Sallic Martha Brown Washinoto,
King Green Violet Ada Moore Th0mn-
son, the only daughter of an aucd COL
orcd man in the Natural Bridge dis
trlct, Virginia, is included in tie pres
ent United States census.
"A Nebraska Sun,lay-scnool was Oh
n railroad excursion. a boy leaned
out or car window and fired a revol-
yer at the same instant that a girl put
her head out at another window. and
the bullet killed her.
to"hS w cSlcfn lazy, who is
partly deaf, is in the habit of answer
ing yes to everything when q gentle
man is talking to her, for fear he might
propose to her and she not hear it.
John Gels was buried at Rochcs-
Ter IN cctlim which he had kept in
his house eighteen yca.s for daily con-
temptation: His family had threaten
cd TO have it removed, but his threat
10 haunt them after death deferred
them.
"a lawyer wrote ''rascaP' on the
nat OF q brother lawyer, who on dis
covering it entered a complaint in opcn
court against the trcspasscr, who he
said had not only taken his hat, but
had also written his name i'm it.
-Iastcs differ. Some men would
nkc nothing better than to go to war.
become heroes and return home 81 ma
Jor, while the ambition of others is to
sit on q dry goods box circus Cay,
chewing gingerbread, while tho pa
radc passes.
"A sliool teacher, who had lust been
telling the story Of David, ended with:
And all this happened over three
thousand years ago" n little chcrub.
ITS blue eyes opening wide with won.
der. said, after Il moments thought.
roh, dear. marm, what 4 memory YOU
have got!"
-Ar!zona sends wailing cry to the
East tor 10000 women, but we can't
spare them. II all our women arc to
bc dragged West, we'd like to know
what provision is going TO be made
Tor the support of the men who sit on
'hc grocery counters and tell what trc-
mcndous men their grandfathcrs we're.
Now is tho time when the gentle
housewife bcsecchcth her husband to
write "raspbcrry" labels for her cam
ned fruit, which she proceeds to paste
on her jars containing strawberries,
and tho argument will not takc place
until next winter when tho COMPANY is
assembled for the feast.
AS lazy tramp came down the street
with free and easy gait,
lhlS welcome sign his eyes did greet:
Free chops to those who wait"
Nov here" he said, "I'n get some
Without the slightest tax;"
But they led him to a pile Of wood,
And handed him an axe.
=, Some cynical elderly people say
there are no inducements for Il vouusr
man to marry these days, but they arc
wrong. Where arc all those nice little
Inducements that our young men
spend four evenings in week with.
and call on between times to see if
they didn't leave their cane behind the
door?
! WALKING on TIE WATER.-YV. G..
Souic, who patented an invention for
"alKiii9 on water year ago, gave an
exhibition of lis apparatus ON thc
Harlem river, New York, some time
ago. 1t consists of two "shocs" of
thin zinc. five feet long, ten inches
wide, and five deep. There is n sock
ct IN the centre OF each for dcpositing
The loot but around that socket tho
shoe is hollow and air-!ight. It sinks
> ABOUT tour inches when stepped into.
: Underhcat';,a at each end is an automatic