The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-05-25
PLEA BITES.

- l&
iooss AN ALl scssr-aI
What sis-d packet would Q counter.
feis in?- Whitehall Times.
Pes rome c"unteri-it money and You
will readily end the .ixL- behind the bars.
-Brooklyn women write Ia their gentle
nen friends an large paper and usr yellow
envelope..-BroIiya Argus
They know = mana vile would never
read that kind 81 looking letter when su-
ing through his packeia.
A contemporary ssys Eve j. o. de~rsv-
ing of . monument ~ Adam. "G,ve them
monument apiece he urges.
But why not treat them - this country
has George Washington. Give them o.
piece Of . monument.
An exchange says Nrilson can give
such burning ki>ses thar they blisaer .
mans lips. Bah! We'd jus, like u have
her Try blisiering our lips.-Bokoa Pc.
Hold on; 60 SLOW. You're not Compton
70 JuOKe Oh sucn Wotters-
The Detroit Free Press hss interviewed
the ice cart drivers and found that The si.s
81 the iumps left At the kitchen door de-
pends altogether nPon the good az bad
looks Of the cook.
This ought to Convince . man's wife Of
the necessity Of sI~sys keeping . good look
ing cook but IL don't.
1T is nov decreed that wedding cards
shall be Issued three weeks in advance of
the coming event.-Asdrer's Basw
But this rule would be imperative at
Jefferson City, where the bridegroom him.
self doesn't usually know Of the approach.
ing msrriage until about fifteen minutes
before the event, when her big broiber and
father come and tell him about il.
The world owes u all living
T'umper's Philosophy.
But It's just o. hard to collect from - any
other debtor.
-Somebody sccuse< Private Dsl.ell of
being broken up. but he writes u to state
that he is all sound.-Bufdto Courier.
We are Inclined to believe that statement
10 true.
The council "vote n you fought" Will
not apply TO women when they are enfrsn-
chised.-Alta Caiyorniaa.
No, scratching must not be encouraged.
What does New jersey keep her mill.
tia for?-Paterson Courier.
So that when mob feels that il must
thrash somebody, the troops can he called
out to stand the pelting.
The Pniladelphia Ledger tell. the story
Of =: m.n Who was given up by the doctors.
When man is given up BY the Pills
delphia doctors, his money mu-t be oil
gone.
They say that one drink Of Jefferson
City whiskey will make . man Ga ID to
come secluded spot and rob hin,self.-N.
Louis Times.
He wouldn't have 10 leave the center Of
the city TO end . secluded spot. and there
is the additional consolation that when he
robbed himself he wouldn't get or lo.r any
thing.
-Tilden .ays he didn't cut Whittaker's
ean.-N u Pingyuae
He Gu, EN- him-elf. The on!v thing Of
Whitaker the cadets cut vas his &c.
quaintance.
The holea in our harhur fortiiicssions
are noe all made Tor big guns.- IvaAing-
svn Capital
That is ~hy they holed the fort, then.
There j. lively discussion going On
- to Who founded Chicago.-N PJ Po-
acsr- Ffess.
Don't let the guilty man .h,rk the re-
sponsibility.
-Peiticosis upon which bugs are paint.
Ell are the most tssteie,s things yet--Bos-
Ton Transcript.
The Transcript man should jnst try cold
water once.
The queen OF Prussis SHORES -Bssoa
Pos. We delegate the Pc man to place
. clothespin on her uosr.-Ne~ Harsa Req
ister.
The Post man should decline 20 serve -
an Instructed delegate.
There il . revival of the rnm,r thst
Victoria will marry Bescon>neld.-N,~
| York 1imes
There j. also = rumor that the widow
Oliver has bern heart saking II Beacoos-
field we're . married man. The old codges
must look out for himself.
-GortschakoG dies slo~Iy.-Nr Yort
Sun.
But he lived fast.
-Phil.deiphi. !. To make sone sweep
ing reform. haodeipAia T~es.
10 street cleaning. we suppose.
They do cay the dre>ae. Alice O.ies
vesn are next TO nothinE.-C4iouyO
7smes.
They must be next to something. II not,
what does che wear 'em for,
"A brides dre.. !. Of fawn colored caeh-
mere.-N. \. Herod.
To make her look little deer.
"A steamboat ought to Be able tn make /
. polite CaciRnafi Cssmegeiat.
Very true; but they generally year
stern appearance after they have psared.
"A medical student says he h.s never
been able to discover the hone Of conteo.
tion.-Emiru Gasstts.
~. -. IL
jsv bone, and you cant mistake il for any
other.
Flower seeds may nov be sovn in The
garden With imPunity.-Atbasy Argus.
This il gratifying news. We had sup
posed that any one guilty Of planting them
before the 6rst Of June would be run in By
the police.
Bright red hair h to Be fashiossbls By