The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-02-11
III FEBRUARY 'I.IiiE.l+'..,i,ll,..I7 Il
EARIETIES. ;.

arms those TO nave around ner waist.
If your wife objects. to kissing you.
because you smoke, simply remark
that you know some girl who will.
That settfesit.
1t is better to wear out than to
rust out. We must not only strike
the iron while it is hot, but strike
until it is made hot. 't'i''as -
A Nevada man improves on Ben.
Franklin thus "Honesty is the
best policy, but don't let it interfere 9
with your business. i99qT laid
"Are you guilty or not guilty."
asked the judge. Sand sure, now"
said Pat, ''what are you put there
for but to find that out? 4" ,...,',o m
"Wife,n said Jones, looking up
from his evening paper, "Hese is, 4.
the announcement of a lecture on the
Age of Pericles.' Wife, what are
pericles ~. $4,000 :-aa 4., Il gGo 9o
The way TO induce melancholy
woman to laugh is to have her front
teeth filled with gold. After that
nothing can stop her from grinningi
halt the time $40 .TW ~ lahfIi
A crusty old bachelor says he can
not see any sense about newly mar
RED men calling their young brides
"duck," and "ducky," unless it be in
the extreme length Of their "bills."' ~
"Wife." said a man, looking for his +,
boot jack, II have places where I
keep my things, and you ought to
know it." eyes" said she, 81 ought
to know where YOU keep your late
hours, but don't" tJ Il m ..
Smother, what is an angel P"
"W ell, an angel is child that flies"
SHUT, mother. why does papa call
the governess an angel ?" ! "Be-
cause,n added the mother thought.
fully, "she is gong to fly lmmedi-
xtely." ~ ~ b'ir. oil isGeF
Our exchanges have recorded,
within a week or two, several cases.
Of, persons nearly losing their lives
by getting chicken bone fast in
their throats. Not one of the un-
,fortunates, was an editor. Editors
prefer quail on, toast. .cns a. bes.
|ao Originally the term sYankee" was
applied by the Indians to all English
people with whom they came in con-
tact. "a subsequently it covered only 6
natives of the Eastern States, and
these became classified again into
"Connecticut Yankees" "Vermont
Yankees" etc. sshT'' tofH 79i'nI an
Matron TO her boy, screaming)
willie, how long are you going to
keep my toothbrush ?" "rm
through with it nanny; Sallie's
using it now" ''Tell Sallie to bring
it here Immediately; that girl won't
have any teeth left if she keeps on
scrubbing them" .s rr.
An awful jaw is the lower Jaw of
a human being which is said to have
belonged to the primitive race. One
has been dug up on the banks of
Lynx Greek, in Arizona. The jaw
never had more than six teeth, and,
from its conformation, the possessor
subsisted wholly on fruits and grass.
We don't know whether it is old
or not, but we heard lady ask a
friend, in street car, the other day:
"Annie, is it proper to say this ere,
| that ere ?"' "Why, Kate. of course
not" was the reply. "Well," said
Kate, II don't know whether it is
proper or not, but + feel cold in this
ear from that air." The conductor
fainted.-Phix Item. .,. - .E3
There are good many men who
think they could turn out better
newspapers than are made by others,
whose labor in that direction would
result about like that of the tramp
who was hired for week on trial by
newspaper proprietor. After hang.
ing around three days doing nothing,
he was accused of incompetence.
He Indignantly replied: 81 can edit
yer darned old paper if you'll jest
tell me where yer get the stuff to
put into it" ,am9s la J 4.
| A well-known Bostonian was try.
ing horse one day, in company with
the owner,a professional jockey. Hav.
ing driven him a mile or two, the
| gentleman, who noticed that he pulled
pretty hard and showed good deal
of spirit, required constant watching
and a steady rein, said "Do Won