Smyrna times., 1880-03-31
The Difference.
HOW MARRIED WOMAN GOES TO SLEEp-LE
sPECTFULLY DEDICATED TO MARRIED MEN.

IlS" AS" OlrIs no t0 sleep" The man
nsr in which they go to sleep, according to
the article, can't held candle to the wav
married woman goes to sleep. Instead Of
thinking Of what she should have attended,
to before going to bed, she thinks of il
atterward. While she is revolving these
matters in her mind, and while KnupIv
tucked up In bed, the old man is scratching .
his legs in front Of tho fire and wsndsrinS Q
now ne wlll pay the next months rent.
Suddenly shs says:
James did you lock the door?"
" Which door," says James.
"The cellar door," says she.
"No," said James
"Well you'd better 90 down and Iocl, i
for heard some person in the back ward
last night"
Accordingly, James paddles down stairs
and locks the door. About the time James
returns and is going to get into the bed,
she remarks
" Did you shut the stair door?"
No" says James.
" Well, if it is not shut the cat will get u D
into the bed room"
Let her come up, then,' says Jamep,
illnatursdly.
MygeodnCss, no" returns his wife.
" Shed suck the baby breatn."
Then James paddles down stairs acain
and steps on tack and closes the stair door
and curses the cat and returns to the bed
rsoln. Just az he begins to climb into his
couch his wife observes:
" forgot to bring up some water. Sun.
pose you bring some in the big tin."
And so JaRes with muttsred curse goes
down into the dark kitchen and falls over
chair and rasps all the tinware off the wall
IN search OF the "big" tin, and then Jerks
the StairdoOr open and howls:
" Where the deuce are the matchPs?"
She gives him minute directions whore
to find the matches, and adds that she
would rather go and get the water herself
than have the neis bOrhOOd raised about it,
After which James finds the matches.
procureS the water, comes Up stairs and
plungss in bed. Presently his wife saws:
flames, let's have an understanding
about money matters. Now, next week
I've got to pay"
" dent know what you've got to nav.
and dent care" shouts James, as he
lurches around and .ms his face against
the wall "all want is to 20 to sleep."
"That's all very w-l for you" snaps his
wife, as she pulls the covers vieiously: "you
never think of the worry and trouble |
have. And there's Araminta, who believe
is taking the measles"
=" Let her take en-" says James.
Hersupon she begins to cry softly, but
about the time James ia falling into a gentle
deze she punches him in the ribs with her
elbows and says,
"did you hear that scandal about Mrs.
Jones 2"
What Jones2' says James slsepily.
why, Mrs JONES'
"WhereY inquired James.
g" / declare" says his wife, "you are ret
ting more stupid every day. You know
Mrs. Jones that lives at No. q. Well, day
before yesterday, Susan Smith told Mrs.
Thompson that Sam Baker had said that
Mrs. Jones'"
Here she Pauses and listens. James is
snoring in profound slumbsr. With a
snort of rage she pulls all the covers off him,
wraps herself up in them and lays awake
until A. NJ, thinking how badly used she
is. And that is the way married woman
goes to sleep.--Pitsb,ry Leader.
HEALTH IN MIDDLE AGE.-At the age of
thirty-tivs, says a writer in the Family Doctor,
mankind, according to seme eminent
authorities, is said to have reached the ner-
idian of life, while others name forty as
the number of years of our earthly exis.
tenes. But be this as it may, no one who
has taken the ordinary means. to preserve
his health in youth and early manhood
should feel other than young at tho age of
torty-tive, from which period until that of
sixty, if life be spared to us, we shall do we'll
to consider ourselves middle aged, and to
adept greater precautions for the preverva.
ten of health and consequent happiness
than might have been deemed necessary
when youth was on our side. And if this
be, the period of middle age should be one
OF the greatest activity, of both body and
mind. What though the hairs are turning
gray? that but shows one has suffered
sorrow and survived it, or that sorrow apart,
he is a man who thinks. And what though
the limbs be not quite SO ninbla? Calm
enjoymeRts foster thought and generate
habits of that true temperance whioh con.
duco to long life and cOntentment more
than anything can in this world, and what.
ever some may say to the contrary, main.
tain that the desire to live long is Inherent
in every healthy sane man or woman. To
die OF old age is the sRly natural death, and
IT death may ever be said to be pleasant, the
only pleasant one, Though younger than
some Of my professional brethren still in
harness, have nevertheless seen death in
very mary shapes and forms, and in almost
every case have found tha aged mere
resigned to the inevitable than these less
advanced in years. For a well.spsnt life il
like well spent day; at its close there is q
wish for q rest.