The Russellville Democrat., 1880-02-26
CREAM OF THE NAILS.
Nuggets of Wit and Wisdom from. On,
 Exchanges.

| MAts08 4SANlb DRIVE saarfon Davis, he set out To drive pig to town,
 And sell the same and buy his wife A brand new Sunday gown.
 Those who have tried to drive pig
 Will understand the drive;
 And will predict at this ere point
 Detroit Frec Pres. A bunch of flowers, book or two A little billing A little coo
 X little coming,
 And going, till
 They go to church
 And say: "l willr And thlt ends it.--,Sdlem .Sunbeani-
 Young man, you're wrong,
 You worked that rhyme
 Just one too far.
 ends right there
 Ohl no, fl don't,
 For coming home
 She says: T won't" And that begins it.--Elmira Gasette
 Mary, we shall miss you,
 Gone will be your pleasant smile
 Had the oil can been much larger
 You'd have gone about mile.
 PLEASE SEND YOUR ADDRESS. If the young lady who wrote us these lines beginning:
 l luv the twInklin' litl stars, N luy the bluey sky;
 For kno well there'il be mi home
 When go up sky high. will send us her address, sine will receive by return mail two pounds of arsenic, with full directions for taking. One sweet singer of wishy -gush" is enough in the same century, Memphis Appeal
 CONE TO GLORY. The Western lady who read in n newspaper that baking powder was good thing, thought she'd bake some, and the old man, on arriving where the cabin had stood, said he wouldn't mind the affair so much if she'd let the dog out before blowing herself and the prop erty to glory in that style.-Bostou Post.
 WANTED TO SER HER sALrED. The mysteries of baby's toilet were altogether new to q little four-year-old, and he carefully watched the bathing and dressing of his little cousin. When the little powder-box was open and the fluffy brush was about to be used under heath the baby's chin, he exclaimed, "Oh, aunty, let me see you salt her."- Ne,c Harea Register.
 THE PROPOSED AMENDMENT. The Boston Herah amends the pro- posed amendment to the Constitution of the United States, prohibiting any citi- zen from bequeathing more than ,000 to any one person; 1t is this: Every per son shall have fifty thousand dollars be- queathed to him" The amendmont as amended, would be immensely popu- lar.
 THE BOON. A soft boom turneth away wrath, but grleyous booms stir up anger. 4 boom In the hand is worth two in bush. A roll ing boom gathers no moss. Rooms of feather flock together. Boom not, that ye be not busted. Boom unto others as ye would that they should boom unto you, etc.-Kafsas City Times.
 LIVER PADS vs. MUSTARD rLAsrERs. There is no rivalry between the excel sior kidney pad and tho regular liver pad. Thank heaven there is room enough for both, but it is we'll enough to say that the mustard plaster must give way entirely, or take a back seat.-Gtobe- De1iocrdt.
 LET'S TAKE SOMETHING. There came very near being panic in a Chicago theatre night before last. A man arose between acts and said, Come John, let's go out and take something" and half the male audience in the par quette got up and said they would.
 MARY's SCOTCH soLEs. If it hadn't been for the Scotch soles on Mary Anderson's shoes, she'd have gone through trap door of a Baltimore theatre last week. As it was, one of the heels got wrenched off and fell through the flooring to the cellar with terrible crash. .-Kansds Cay Times.
 MOUSE INDEED. Arabella ton her toes Tn chair, clutch ing convulsively at her skirts:) 70, Bri- dget! \ mouse, mouse. Come and catch it ouick?" Bridget: "Sure, mum, there's no hurry. If this one gets away, I can catch plenty more for yer mum.
 AN AGGRAVATED CASE. Kleptomania was never moro aggrava. ledly exhibited than in the case of the young Louisville thief who, upon being | sent to the city jail, deliberately took the humps from his cell mate.