, 1880-10-22
-.-.I ,L.|I-JA NAG " 81 .lIF 10
An Independent Press,

will call Smithyille, but he moved to
Gal weston few years ago and is now a
resident of this city He has kept him
self we'll posted, how wever, as to affairs in
his former home by subscribing to the
smithville Torpedo, the local paper,
which is edited with signal ability BY
Colonel Bangs z A few days ago Smith
happened to be at the railroad depot
when the train came in, and whom
should he see among the passengers but
Col. Bangs, the editor Of the Torpedo,
Of course Smith was glad to see the edi-
tor of the Torpedo, and Bangs was,glad
TO see regular subscriber like Smith.
They greeted each other warmly, and
after having, taken, a few drinks sat
down quietly to talk over affairs in
Smithville. %, - ,,,,c,.1 !
"You get the Torpedo regularly, 4
suppose % said Bang" "'! WV IVY . .l' 'l, u T..
Eyes, it comes to hand regularly
every day and l read it very carefully.
Itkeeps me as well posted as if lived
in the town and saw everything with
my own eyes. I would not know what
was going on in Smithyille, if it was not
for the Torpedo" said Smith. "a = Il .
~ Col. Bangs said he felt fattered, and
after another drink or SO the country
editor became very candid and commu-
nicative His stomach was not aecus
toned to Galveston whisky On the
other hand, Smith, being used to it, re-
manned distressingly sober. .-r,T 4,
After a pause Smith said
" "I saw in the last number Of The Tor
pedo that Jones, the proprietor 1of the
Smithville Hotel, has fitted it up new,
and now it is superior in all particulars
to any hotel this side of New York. I
am glad to hear that. 1 am going to
put up at it when / visit Smithville. [" ea
: "Don't you do it," replied the editor.
~ board there myself, and, l nearly
starve to death. But it is the best hotel
in the place, for all that. would not
let such lie go into the paper if the
hotel had not taken fifty copies of the
paper to send of. He paid for them in
meal tickets, too" ..,.u,,.,.....
The faith of Smith in the reliability
Of the Torpedo bad received somewhat
Of a shock, but lie hoped it was an ex,
ceptional case.siiol 10 aA''A '''0
After awhile Smith said: 2 e. . 2.
81 am glad to see that Major Shocks
is going to sweep that section Of the
State at the next election. I read in
the Torpedo OF the magnificent ovation
given him !; of the procession several
miles long the banquet that followed,
with all the toasts, and then the final
serenade, with Major Snook's speech to
the vast sea of upturned faces 1t must
have been gorgeous ovation" ''''"
Col Bangs laughed until he nearly
had spasms. Finally he said :
"Why, Snooks wrote that up for the
Torpedo himself. and paid to have it in
serted as an advertisement He isstart-
ing boom, you know" -, t,.
"You don't mean to say that nothing
OF the KIND happened r." ''''
81 believe that MajorSnooks hired a
brass band to entirely surprise him with
o complimentary serenade for four dol
lars and a half. The speech did not last
for several hours, because all he said
was Come in. boys, and take some
thing The vast sea of upturned faces
only numbered ffteen.) At least that is
all the drinks he is.charged with on the
barkeeper's 8 slate for that evening. That
is the best evidence, Ireckon.pa 1J,'#d
why, how did you come to make
such a false statement in your paper ?"
Didn't tell you that he paid for it
as an advertisement He is going to
use it as a campaign document"
Smith began to think that the Smith
vile Torpedo was not furnishing him
with SO much local information after all.
He determined, therefore, not to men
ton any other item Of news he had
CLEANED from its columns. So he changed
the subject: "How's Col. McPelter
coming onf ' r.l 1ar"I., 'r-
a" "He is not coming on at all. He has
gone off already; week before last he en-
bezzled $4,000 and disappeared with an
other mans wife. The grand jury has
found l9 felony indictments against
him" replied the editor. ' '.
'tJ"But never saw that mentioned at
all in the Torpedo" said Smith. r.wg9
"l reckon not" replied the editor,
proudly. "Col. McPelter's son promised
to shoot the topof my head off if ! said
a word about it, and it is the duty of the
press TO frown down all such attempts at
violence" -,n h. ni dA ' ....
no. "Col. Bangs" said Smith, rising with
dignity, II see by the latest issue of the
Torpedo that YOU are about to take in a
no y ~ S,I L.