The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1880-12-18
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get ready, my dear" suggested Mr..
Spoopendyke, checrily, "and I won'i
be late at dinner party. l want you
to fix up so as to be the best looking
woman at the table. You can get ready
in an hour, can't you 2"
al think ! can," replied Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, with a litter. "Oh, yes,
can dress in that time, and / hope you
won't be disappointed in me-" and the
little woman began to take down her
back hair.
"You might get my shaving tackle for
me" said Mr.. Spoopendyke, appropri-
ating the only mirror. "And now
think Of it," he continued after a pause,
"sny dress coat needs button Sew !.
on, won't your"
Mrs. Spoopendyke lugged out the
coat and hunted through broken down
old bag after button that would do.
"Got that button sewed on yet ?" in.
quired Mr.. Spoopendyke, lathering away
comfortably.
"In minute, my DEAR" responded
his wife.
"Well, hurry up; I want you to put
those studs and sleeve-buttons into my
clean shirt"
Mrs. Spoopendykc gradually got
around to these Offices and laid out the
habilment in readiness for her lord.
"Did you take those stitches in my
glovess" inquired Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"Ohl yes, certainly" replied Mrs.
Spoopendykc, going right to work at it.
"Well, then you can brush my vest
and pantaloons, and by that time I'll be
ready to have you tie my cravat."
A few minutes more found Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke arrayed completely.
care you ready1" he demanded.
having assured himself that his wife had
not accomplished single step toward
her toilet.
"Not quite, dear" responded the
lady, with one half her hair in her mouth
and the other half cracking under the
brush.
"What's the matter with your" he
asked. "Didn't you say you could get
ready in an hour? Didn't you hear me
tell you when came in that we only
had an hour to dress IMP What have
you been doing1 Why can't you 60 as
you are? You look well enough"
al was busy fixing your things" fal.
tered Mrs. Spoopendyke, "and l could
not do two things at once"
"Oh, no you can't do anything at
once. Why didn't you have my things
fixed this morningl Why don't you
keep house somehow That dress you've
got on is good enough. Why can't you
go in that dressl II you've got to put
on all the frills you won't be ready by
next fall. Amt you most ready now ?
Think I'm going to stand around here
like jug of mineral water?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke twisted up her hair
and jammed in the pins. Then she put
on her hat and twitched it first to one
side and then the other put one hand
up behind and showed it forward, and
then caught hold Of it in front and
pulled il down.
"Well, il you're ready, let's start"
growled Mr.. Spoopendyke. "You've
been long enough for telegraph wire,
now. Come on"
"Oh! Haven't got my dress on yet"
pleaded Mrs. Spoopendyke. "I'll be
through in minute"
"Dod gast the dress !" calculated Mr..
Spoopendyke, "where's my paper and
I'll read for a month or two. You
won't be ready till spring. Where's
that paperf"
"Take book, DEAR" recommended
Mrs. Spoopendyke, blushing deeply and
glancing around nervously.
al don't want any measley book, I"
rctorted Mr.. Spoopendyke. 81 want
the morning paper. Find that paper
the first thing you do, and then you get
ready in four seconds"
al think you'll find the paper behind
behind the bookcase" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, as red as brick, and
she hustled into her skirt and began
clawing at it behind in an effort to loop
it up straight. "I'm almost ready"
she giggled Historically, as she drew
on the waist and buttoned it up nerv-
ously. 'I'll be ready before you can
turn the paper inside OUT" and she
snatched ribbon from the drawer, tied
it in how, pinned it at her throat and
backed away from the glass to see how
it looked.
al want to know whether you're 60.
ing to find that dod gasted paper for
mel" thundered Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"I'm all right except my cloak, I"
jerked out Mrs. Spoopendyke. "If
you'll hand me my cloak we'll start
right away. It's in the closet there. |"
And Mrs. Spoopendyke Topped down
on the floor and began putting on her
shoes.
"S'pose I'm going to hunt around for
that measly cloak1" howled Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke. "Can't you get your things
for yourself! ! want my paper and !
want it now"
al can tell you what was in it," said
Mrs. Spoopendyke. al can tell you all
about il while Dress" and she looked
up at him piteously with her face all
flushed.
"No dosbt," retorted Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke. "You know all about it. All
you want is a can Of oil and ten men
swearing at you all day to be a printing
press. When are you going"
"Now I'm all ready dear" smiled
Mrs. Spoopendyke. who wasn't anything
Of the sort. "You won't need to read
now for we are going"
They started off together, armiin-arm,
Mr.. Spoopendyke growing and his wife
hitching at her various garments as they
went along.