The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-03-25
WIT AND WISDOM.

0hio 10 candidates.
To preserve wooiens from moths
Give them to the poor.
The road TO wealth ia probably a mar
now guage.-FhR. ChrOn.
Wrinkles are not without use. What
would a Sic be without them?
Cuoo,e your company. Company, like
nuts, has to be picked to get at its good.
ness.
"A exchange says; Few men die OF
age Why call them men if they're not
Of ag,2
What is Nihilism? Njthing when you
are use to it. Bankruptcy is something
like it.
A hypocrit is a man who tries TO be
pious and cent, with a prepOnderance
Of emit.
In the criminal multiplication table Of
the Ulited States three trials makes enc
acquittal.
White lies roll themselves into CO.
coons and next year come out full. Aedged
wLoppers.
Neral suasiou is all very well, lut in
dealing with a fooiped there is nothing
like muscle.
A mar frequently saves money by be-
ing surrounded by friends whom he
dares not trust.
The conscien ce sUspender' is adver-
tised. Perhaps il ows its name to its
extreme elasticity.
The Indians are not quite fat enough
to kill, bat just poor enough to need
government rations.
Tie height Of industry-A girl so in
dustrious, that when she has nothing
else to do she knits her brow.
St. Louis girls hAvJ away of teasing
Chicago girls. They say, MY dear, 1
would like to be in your shoes
A professional teacher of elocution
adVertises voice building a speciality
1t is to be presumed he uses the right
kind Of timber.
Gentleman--I say, waiter, I've just
cracked this egg; look at it. Waiter
Don't look very nice at that end, | must
say; try the other.
II there is anything more awkard than
a mai taking his first dancing lessons
Providence has kindly concealed it from
human observation.
The revival of trade makes a great diff
ference in mems morality. The S9cre-
tary OF the Treasury is receiving many
contributions to the conscience fund.
Lamp chimneys have gone up says
the Pittsburg Leader. And, by the
way, so have thousands who have fool.
ishly blown down them.-PhjLG. Chron.
Many a young lady Ehc aspires to
fame via pencil, brush and canvas would
become q rising artist at once If she
would turn her attention TO bread
making.
A Washington newspaper prints q half
column OF ADVICE to ugly girlP, Any
man who has recently been jdted can
have a terrible revenge by sending a
copy to the woman who refused him.
A Deadwood society had o can voted
to the handso NEST man in town by the
ladies, and the man selected is lurking
in the woods till the men OF Dead wood I"
will give him a chance to get out Of the
country.
Blind TJm, when at his G ,orgia home,
remains alone with his piano, in a build
ing apart by himself, aud plays days and
nights like a madmaD. He now plays
about 1000 pieces, aud picks up new
new ones everywhere.
DO you ever expect to make a news
paper that will suit everyboiy9' a
veteran editor asked. No, sir was
the answer, 'nnd 1 don't want to; q
newspaper that would silt everybody
wouldn't be worth reading.
why am / made a sandwich sad
young Snobson plaintively, as a lady sat
down either side OF him in the horse car.
Because we are better bred than you
are said one OF the damsels sweetly;
and Snobson mustard courage to squeeze
out to the platform.
An enterprising American shipped
some wheelbarrows to Rio Jhneiro, aud
the natives filled them full OF stones and
such, and carried them on their heads.
They said it was O capital Continuance,
and wondered how they managed to get
along so many years without it.
An old lady, after q long life OF obser-
remarked that she has always
noticed that, in the summer time, when
IL was not needed, the sun is always as
hoi as an oven, while in the winter,
when the warm sun would be very agree
able, il is rs cold as an ice.house.
Ono Of the New York boarding school
hires q detective to follow her
procession OF pupils when they take
their daily walks, in order to quart
against any attempt at Irritation. I'm.
less the detective is a saint, he will have
hirtations on his own hand with.
a week.