The Portland daily press., 1880-03-29
CzpGGBeuS

D.e.d s-s5a=s =-a a-u ssu.l-s z4-.S
S---s.< -uizzzz
Ss- Harsa Ee-=er= A Ao1-sssz -s.A
hasT = fo1z9-4 q arsck
Tse Eoehssser EEP--s ea=P-4l=s tAas sAs
ao-1i1r - 1R 100 sz-iE-
H0- mad 4 r0zld nAks = ezuaIsal % 40
kzufi1g aod kiii nothizx bzt AlsEaa.ser So
Pheas
After Til1en. uhS,-MiehiSzn City De-
patch The United States Dsscrscs-Af.orney.
with a claim for unpaid tax
A South Carolina nan. eighty-foar years q
age. Is cutting his third set Of teeth-euftinx
them cut Of an ivory nut
New Orleans Pieayune: The hen fnds cut
the man who rObs her nest She Is always lay
ing for him
Boston Transcript: The bee and mule are
too tender-hearted TO look upon suffering. They
always turn their backs when they strike
Lowell Courier: Victor Hugo's lat book Ia
called "Toute Ia Lyre-' Victor is old enough
to know that you can't toot the Tyre, which Is
stringed instrument
A Michigan Congressman told a friend that
he was filled with amazement, and the friend
went down to the bar and called for amaze
ment.
New Orleans Picayune: Solutions Of the
gem puzzle, intended for publication, may be
written on both sides Of piece Of paper, and
handed in with spring poetry.
Did it ever occur to you why a lawyer who
is conducting disputed will case is like ira
peze performer in a circus? Didn't? Well,
it's because he flies through the heir with the
greatest Of fees.
One of those men who cheat others on min
ing shares and make their living by swindling
was shot dead in Leadville a week ago Death
loves mining shark.
Clyde Times: A Port Byron dog attended
church and stepped upon the warm register,
and the last heard from him he was bowling
about the registry law.
A young lady sent poem entitled II Can
not make him Smile to a British newspaper.
The editor ventures to express the opinion
that she would have succeeded had she shown
him the poem.
While playing Juliet recently Miss Mary
Anderson was seen chewing something. Some
think it was gum; others are of the opinion
that it was piece Of the scenery, while still
other believe it was a part of Romeo's left ear.
Philadelphia Bulletin: Ono hundred and
twenty-five boxes of clothes-pins were included
in the Indian supplies last year. They were
intended to keep the Indians on the line of
reservation.
An honest farmers idea of Communism:
"After all, says the friend who is explaining
the subject to him, ''if all the money owned in
France were to be put together and equally
divided your share would be only sos francs 35
centimes." "Well," says the honest farmer,
''that, with what already have, wouldn't be
so bad!'
what" asks the Rochester Express, twas
the performance when Joseph was cast into
the pitt" 1t was Jealousy" and Joseph, sim
gularly enough took the leading role-when he
rolled into the pit. Norristown Herald.-Ths
original of this paragraph was the first dead
heau! Joseph, Wnen MS Drotners put MIN IN
The pit for nothing" The joke was invented
in Pharaohs time. and if people will 60 -sn---
rolling mummies in the columns Of the pa
pors, why not prosons them with the original
antique mustiness and make ghastly specta-
cles Of them by adding modern improvements.
Boston Commercial Bulletin. II Seth Spi-
Ger had unrolled that mummy to his skin, he
wonld have discovered that the truly original
of the joke was, "Why did Joseph's brethren
cast him into the pit? Because they didn't
went him in the family circle. Boston Trans
cript