The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1880-03-03
SOMETHING WORTH HAVING.


The Indicator-A Godsend to Married Men
The Latest and Best Invention.
Miraculous inventions are the order of the
day. Even Edison has been surpassed by a
genius who has invented what is called
Married Mans Indicator 1t is wonder
fully sensitive arrangement Of the ordinary
thermometer, in convenient pocket size, and
and is graded to a scale of cabalistic marks.
which show the exact state of the domestic
atmosphere at any hour of the night The
hard-worked and belated husband arrives
home say about midnight. He takes out his
Indicator" thrusts it into the keyhole and
leaves it there few seconds. Pulling it out
quickly, he scans the dial by moonlights fit
full cleaning. If it marks IS. Al Sound
asleep the poor husband pulls off his boots
| noiselessly; uses his night-key with bated
breath; gives the door a quick shove to keep
it from creaking, steals tremblingly to bed,
and when his dear little WHEY wakes up
about two seconds afterward and wants to
know how long he has been home he is so
sound asleep that Gabriels trumpet couldn't
| wake him.
If the indicator" scores "a A. C.. B. d.
X. W. T." awake, awful cross, but does not
know what time it isl, the husband puts a
| few more grains of coffee in his mouth, opens
| the door boldly, walks in with a slam-bang
air, hits his foot intentionally against chair,
wants to know why the devil the chairs ain t
| kept out of the way, gets desperately mad on
general principles, scares his wife clear out
| of her crossness and intended curtain lecture.
| refuses to let her get up and strike a
match-never did like light at night no.
how, remarks gruffly in response to timid
| query that "it's about % minutes after 10, -
and then turns into bed with such an appar-
emily awful state of mind that the wife of
his bosom is afraid to speak to him-at which
he is very sad, of course.
There are numerous other marks on the
indicator, showing just where it will do 10
"play the lodge dodge" or the ''sick friend, >
or "been standing on the corner talking with
| so and so for more than an hour" or General
or Honorable this or that from, you know
| where, was in town, and had to go away OF
the o'clock train, and he insisted so strong
ly that the whole party stayed up to see him off
although it was great bore, and we only die
| it through courtesy"
But the most awfully awful of all the cab
alistic signs on the dial is the one at the top
| about two marks above boiling point. Wher
| the weary husband comes home about a
NJ, from the direction of the butcher shop
with a roll of meat held high in the air, 5,
| that every one he passes can not fail to SEE
it, and sticks the Indicator" in the key hole
he is almost too weak to draw it out. Will
hair on end ne reads it by the faint ligh
streaming in upon him over the eastern hills
and sweat breaks out on his noble brow il
drops as large as walnuts, as he sees the bull
of the Indicator damned smack up agains
ar. II. S. H. w. NJ. Y. J. l. d.
(red hot and still heating and waiting fol
you just inside the door,. The inventor o.
the instrument says that when this terrible
misfortune overtakes man he feels tha
| there Is nothing left in this life worth living
for, and appreciates the full force of thOs,
beautiful lines:
| ''This world all a neeting show,
| Fer man 5 delUsiOn given"
| He sings the meat out into the yard, anG
braces himself for the coming fray, but say
nothing, for nothing can be said. Be h
ever so gifted liar, his accom- plishment il
more than valueless. No lodge, no sicl
friend, no talking on the corner, no sitting
up to see the general off, no swearing tina
| he will never do it again-in fact, nothing
will avail. 1t is an absolutely indefensibl'
case. He is caught in fagrante delictu. Ever
| the CHASTITY gaiety with which, two hours pre-
vious, he had said to the boys that he "guesset
he'd see it out nOw-might as well be killed
| for asheep as a lamb'-and all vanished. Tn
Indicator having told him the exact situation
of things he knows just what to do, and tina
is nothing, but get into bed at once ant
wrap the drapery of his couch about him
pull the pillow oyer his ears and wait for hi
wife's breath to give out It's awful Will
it lasts, but it has its use in relieving the un
fortunate husbands mind of part of it's load
The Indicator is a great invention, and n
family should be without one. For sale a
all stores where they are kept.