Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-11-19
SELECTED.

making glutton of itself, and man
making pig of himself, is that the pig
at some distant day will be cured.
What in the name of high heaven
does that fellow across the street wear
that fur cap forP" Probably he is a
newspaper man, and needs tur-Ullu
brain" The groans of the bystanders
reminded one of field hospital after
great battle.
The hint contained in President
Hayes's proclamation that the chief
duty of the hour is to procure turkey
as cheap as possible as thanksgiving
sacrifice that the election is over, should
be needed by every patriotic American.
-GalveSt0n Neo0S.
"Oh, mamma, that's Capt. Jones's
knock! know he has come to ask me to
he his wife" "Well, my dear, you
must accept him." "But l thought you
hated him SOP "Hate him? do---so
much, that mean to be his mother-in-
law!"
Always avoid company in which you
are willing to tell coarse jest, because
for you it is demoralizing company.
Grossness is never humorous, profanity
is never admirable; and if your manner
and speech once begin to ravel out upon
that edge, all their manliness and charm
are in danger.
During the progress of dinner-party
in New York the other evening, one of
the thoughtless guests, clubman noted
for his eccentricities, tilted his chair and
fell, carrying with him the table-cloth,
which he had grasped to save himself,
and all the dishes. AS may be imagined,
a sensation was created.
81 would rather vote for long-eared
donkey than for you, said an independ-
ent voter to a candidate. 80, come
now, you ought not to allow yourself to
be so influenced by family ties" re-
sponded the candidate. The voter has
been puzzling his head ever since to find
out why the crowd laughed.
Curious notions have the authorities
of the little Saxon city of Weimar. A
law has Just been enacted that nobody
in Weimar shall play on the piano with
the windows of the house in which the
performer is open, under penalty OF
fine. Weimar is one of the quietest
towns in the world, and some piano
PLAYERS would make noise enough to
! distract half the inhabitants.
Leon Belmont, handsome young
person, went to Minneapolis two years
ago, claiming to be nephew of August
Belmont and the heir expectant to
large estate. This was fraudulent, OF
course; but worse humbuggery has been
exposed. Leon made love to the daugh-
ter of the hotel keeper, and engaged to
marry her, thus avoiding the payment
of board. The swindler turns out to be
a woman in trousers.
Miss Eliza Sharp appeared recently at
the Hammersmith (Eng) police-court
to answer summons charging her with
, assaulting girl in her service by cut
ting off her hair without her consent.
The defense was that the girls hair was
dirty, and that it was cut short with
her consent. In the end the case was
arranged by the defendant consenting to
pay the complainant f3 as compensation
| for tho loss of her hair
, #. P. Brown, editor of the Gallatin
Tenn. Examiner, and friend, were
attacked by eight tramps, in a tunnel,
near Gallitin, recently. Brown defend
ed himself with pistol, killing one of
the tramps and wounded another. The
balance of the uramps then fell upon
Brown, beat him almost to death, and
robbed him OF money and valuables of
over $1,000. A second tramp wounded
by Brown has since died, and the Others
escaped.
, Justice Smith said, on opening his
court at Connorsvillc, Tenn: William
Henry Smith is arraigned for assaulting
his father" The magistrate had on the
previous day knocked his father down
, with n club, and it was himself that he
was now arraigning. He continued: /:
. "The evidence is conclusive, and I'm
q not sure but | ought to send myself to
jail for ten days. But as this is my first
offense, and certainly had a good deal
of provocation, will simply impose q
G fine of ten dollars"
: Among the changes in the mode ofcon-
: Quoting the public evening schools in
n New York city this year is the division
/ into "senior and junior schools" In the
!, junior schools there is regular course
: of study for all to pursue, and scholars
|, between the ages of thirteen and eighteen
g are admitted Five branches are taught
f in the senior schools-reading, arithme-
t tic. penmanship, composition and book
: keeping-the pupils (who must be over
! sixteen) having the privilege of studying
any two of these.