The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-05-07
VARIETIES.


"a man WIN heart can never refuse
ene hiss olu GU ID. And a man without
=" noa'' nc'e' gets q chance to refuse.
A. Is a to please a man who does
not WISH TO be lied about, and who can.
him. ""' 'o'u aoou'
Az .'ostage stamps must not be used more
' nan once. To go through the mails a
letter must bear tho stamp of original.
ty.
Never advise another with regard tc
Investments. If he win you get nc
t%hanks-if he lose you will get all the
blame.
The Philadelphia News thinks II
strange that the man who first invented
sleep did not extend the invention TO
babies.
A little boy, seeing an actress on the
stage with her hair all banged and
frizzed, said, "Ma, see how her hair
eneeZes."
An exchange furnishes a brief list OF
"uncalled-for kilograms" We should
'UJ "a" 6iOob Bibh1 VI lhC DuDilhllGU
kilograms arc uncalled for.
A Michigan widow who jumped down
off a load of hay and knocked down q
tramp who made fun other sun-bonnet.
had three offers of marriage within q
week.
The latest sweet thing is entitled
"Kiss Me Quickly, Birdie Darling" II
is described as serio comic-the seric
part probably beginning upon the ar.
rival Of the old man.
"You want a flogging-that's what
you want" said a parent to an unruiy
son. 81 know 1t, dad; but Pll try tc
get along without IT," returned the In.
dependent hopeful.
A householder in Troy, in filling az
his census schedule, under the column
"where born" described one of his
children "born in the parlor," and The
other cup stairs"
Elderly gentleman to a freshman on
the train: "You don't have any ticket?i
ono, l travel on my good looks
"Then," after looking him over, "prob.
ably you amt going very far"
tJ uu;,t -,
,,uo "lsH 1 was wortn u m,liion dol,
ra.s, aiu o son'lelian a gooo
your present income?" INQUIRED =
friend. ooh, | could be economical on
a large SCALE"
A Michigan man named Maginley
has lost his parrot and is almost crazy
about it. Not that he cared SO much
habit Of sov;n" "0,d Ma&n;ggi TS i"t 1, ,ne
agai" ho,r o ncn Nearing y I ms mistress say 1t,
h;rd "o' '"" ohhc'ouy hhu Inc
'""
A boy of three years, sitting at din.
ner with his mother and the rest of the
family, was violating the old adage,
"Childrcn should be seen and moi
heard" His mother commanded him
to be quiet, when he suddenly asked,
"Mamma, what are little boys mouths
IL is stated that Bob Ingersoll had
nara luck Ill canada, that the Montreal
papers wouldn't print his advertise
mehts II he couldn't hire a hall.
W~hcreupon the New Haven Register
suggests THAT the kanucks of that cold
climate take solid comfort in the belief
that there is a hell"
A droll fellow in Connection, eshoa .
rich old man ont of tha m;II'nond 90 :
frVtu 'ae oner Oh twenty-five cents
tno " -, nosouou niscr. On, tbat,s
rs; ;oy 'nu1n no e1ciaiihcdi rant with
~. anu nc halueI oack twenty-one
.onl7, sayi'ig, ca,nhly, as nc pocketed
'o"i 'o"'s' Aha' ABOUT rlght''
uAfor our rou.s.
man sL;mm;no ,;ohtd, 'ne Young
mai, a. thn nSn,iy osor tle gravel
sr"nt ao,o 5 III ulioctiph OF M
Aud no Isnuiar Va, mna' 1oots III"
man Of Tho ton oS tho nor otu ecntie-
h;s snectoc,oI ;oe,Iod s'ops, wit,i
said that II tho uoun "uao ctookcd
d;dn,t Lnow he 49,. nah niilsell
IN tho, tn,umsh;~ .hut NV" ahYoooy
A o,oss of ,;..,, u.-
go 0' h"sH n, ii..e primary. children
,oesons. ' shS onsaseu IN their reading
lie tho fo cI co t,T Ubuer, something
h nne sno . .I'towrng Inc nat Is in the
az :, :, NV hnaa' Is III Tue pox'. "Ibe
hoy y Whor suJin IL cat Is IN the
49,. nmnncJn suuueniy ny came a little
to speak. "Well, what is it, Matte %
said the teacher. 81 should fink e box
'ood be full after a while"
r,
iinsley, OF inc Lyons, On. " Re-
publican, a veteran i'll the newspaper
ranks' says;nMhen a man gets mad
apou. something and orders his paper
III MS ne'ghoors mex weeks copy IL
Ung 10, and the eagerness with