The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1880-02-12
RAILROAD RELIGION.
A Brakeman's Comparison OF
Different Denominations.

DIuerent Okh1uatlOns.
In letter to the Burlington Hawk
eye, dated at Lebanon, Ind. Burdette
says:
While on the road, with Lebanon
fading away in the distance, the
brakeman comes to me, and, seated Oh
the arm of the seat, says:
81 went to church yesterday"
"Yes?" | said with that interested
infection that asks for more, "And
what church did you attend?"
(Which do you guest" he asked.
"Some union mission church ?" ]
hazarded.
Now" be,,said, 81 don't like to run
on these branch roads very much. l
don't often go to church, and when l
do, l want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you 60
on schedule time, and don't have to
wait on connections. ! don't like to
run on II branch Good enough, but
| don't like ii.
episcopal ?"I guessed.
Limited express he said, call
palace cars and 50 extra for a seat,
fast time and only stop at big stat0ns;
nice line, but too exhaustive for u
brakeman. All,train men in uniform,
conductors punch and lantern silver
plated, and no train men allowed.
Then the passengers are allowed to
talk back at the conductor, and it
makes them too free and easy. No,
| couldn't stand the palace cars. Rich
road enough. Don't often hear of re-
ceiver being appointed for that line.
Some mighty nice people travel on it,
too"
"Universalist?" / suggested.
"Broad guage," said the brakeman,
"does too much complimentary busi-
ness. Everybody t,avel on pass
Conductor doesn't get a fare once in
Fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but un-
ion depot. No smoking cars on the
train. Train orders are vague, though,
and the trainmen don't get along well
with the passengers. No, I don't 60
the Universalist, though / know some
awfully good men who run on that
road"
"Presbyterian?" / asked.
Marrow gauge, eh?" said the brake
man; pretty track, straight as rule,
tunnel right through mountain rath-
err than 60 around it; spirit-level
grade; passengers have to show their
tickets before they get on the train.
Mighty strict road, but the cars are a
little narrow; have to sit one in seat
and no room in the aisle to dance.
Then there's no stop-over tickets al
lowed; got to 60 straight through to
the station you're ticketed for, or you
can't get on at all. When the care
full, no extra coaches; cars built at
the shops to hold just 90 many and no
body else allowed on. But you don't
hear of any accident on the road. Its
run right up to the rules"
Maybe you joined the Free Think
ers?" | said.
Scrub road" said the brakeman;
"dirt road bed and no ballast, no time
card and no train dispatcher. All
trains run wild and every engineer
makes his own time, just as he pleases.
Smoke if you want to; kind of go-as-
you-please road. Too many side
tracks, and every switch wide open all
the time, with the switchman sound
asleep and the target lamp dead out.
Get on as you please and get of when
you want to. Don't have to show
your tickets. and the conductor isn't
expected to do anything but amuse
the passengers. No, sir. | YVES offered
a pass. but don't like the line. / don't
like to travel on road that has no
terminus. Do you know, sir, | asked
a division superintendent where that
road run to, and he said he hoped to
die if he knew. I asked him if the
general superintendent could tell me,
and he said be didn't believe they bad
a general superintendent, and if they
had he didn't know any more about
the road than the passengers. | asked
him who he reported to, and be said,
Nobody" | asked q conductor who
he got orders from, and be said he
di,ln't t,lkeorders from any living man
" :eat inst Az; w.:e-, ASKED