Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-02-20
F. u N

have already said, many thousands of ach-
ing hearts and llassorted marriages would
be prevented if the young lovers had cour-
age and tact. The other day a young gen.
tieman who has long been enamored of one
of the faiTest daughters Of West Monroe
street, but has met with scant courtesy
from her parents, suddenly hit upon the
great discovery that asking girls fathers
consent was an idle formality. 'By Jo!''
he said, after thinking the matter over in
all its various aspects. sit is the old woman
who is the power behind the throne. Once
you get her on your side you are all right.
and besides you are saved from any annoy
ance by your mother-in-law, for she can't
90 and say to your wife, eff you had ia
ken my ADVICE or II always told you So"
BY 10, I'll go for the old woman" So,
dressing himself all in his gay attire, the
young man went up. and after explaining
matters to his sweetheart, induced her to
call down her mother. (Her father had
gone to Des Moines on business.)
swell, sir,'' said the old lady, with icy
coldness, ''what do you wish to say to
me?"
~ come, madam said the heroic youth,
s'to demand the hand of your lovely daugh
ter in marriage"
s'Demand iddlestick!'' said the old la
dy, with asperity. s'Amanda is too young
to be married yet, and if she wasn't, and
there wasn't but one husband in the world.
and you were he, I'd say 'Na-awl" "Do
you understand that?"
SIN measure I apprehend your mean
ing,'' said the young lover, while Amanda
who was listening behind the folding
doors, whispered to herself that ma was
real mean, and felt her heart sink into her
slippers; ''and was prepared for it.
had already seen your husband
sYou had, eh? Do you mean to say
hat chuckle-headed clam had consented?"
'.No, madam, not precisely. In fact, he
said he would be-a hemmed first. But
as in such matters as these it is always
best to deal with principals, 1 thought l
would see you, although your husband
said that when he said NO and put his
foot down. that was an end Of matters in
my case before you, because the sympa-
thies of beautiful and clever woman still
young in heart as she is in looks-but alas
he told me it would do no good-that you
were prejudiced against me, and even if
you favored my suit your humblest solicit
tations could not move him.
s'When did my husband tell you all this?
Was he sober-quite sober? He put his
foot down. indeed!"
ssAbout noon on Tuesday, and | never
saw him more collected and rational. In
deed, he was unusually mild and pensive.
and when told him Of my desire to be
married, he said: "Better not; if you know
what's good for you-don't. dare say
my daughter is very handsome, and all
that kind of thing, but she takes after her
mother. I am really doing you kindness
in refusing my CONSENT
ssThe snub nosed traitor" said the old
lady warmly: sswell, now I want you to
understand one thing; Lam the patriarch
of this household and when my husband
leaves me out of the calculation it is equiv
alent to the omission of the subtrahend,
denominator. quotient, divisor, dividend,
multiplier and the one you carry. You
understand me ?'
''Yes'em; but your husband doesn't
think 500
sWell, when he gets back I'll just put
in some of my humblest solicitations
believe that's what he calls them-and
md n
Amanda, come here. This is your future
husband, and if know myself, you will
be married to him inside of three weeks
just make list of the things you want
and I'll see that you get them. Young
man, embrace your betrothed bride. Bless
you my chileren. Iwant this thing set
tied once for all"
It was almost too good to be true, and
the lovers had to hug each other several
times during the evening (which they
spent on the same chair) to be sure that it
was not all dream. Nevertheless, the
fair Amanda felt several qualms and fears
when she thought of her stern fathers re-
turn, and the possibility that the game
would be up then. But it wasn't. The
old man got home from Des Moines late on
Thursday night. He slept on the sofa,
and look visibly older at breakfast next
morning, having startled and panied ex-
or ession in his eyes.
When the meal was concluded he took
his daughter aside and asked her if she
was really sure that she loved the young
man, and when she replied that he could
gamble on it Tor words to that effeet) he
said he could no longer without his consent
her happiness was more to him than the
spectacle of indicated authority.
''Oh, pa. how good and kind you are!n
sobbed the beautiful girl, falling upon his
neck.
s'Amanda, my love-" said the author of
her being. ''that's all right, and I don't
bear your lover any malice, but I don't
want you, my dear girl, to believe that
your pa is three-ply double and twist
liar, for never said anything of the sort.
But it would do me no good to deny it;
no, not if sued him for perjury, and the
Jurors brought in verdict Of guilty with
out leaving the box.e
0Have you ground all your tools, as I
Gold you this morning 2" said carpenter
to his apprentice. "AM but the saw, sir, ]
couldn't quite get all the gapsout Of that. !"