Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-20
N GENERAL.

and injured himself friend called and
asked the servant if he was conscious.
YES" was the reply, ''he is perfectly
conscious. but he don't know anything.
That kind of consciousness prevails to 4
larger extent than We are willing to con-
fess.
Some of the verdicts which from time
to time have graced our law records are
ut once pitiful and laughable. For III
stance, We have all heard of the sugges-
tive verdict rendered i'll the very far West
in case of trcspass. When the fore
man was asked whether the prisoner was
guilty or innocent he replied, Not guilty
if he will leave the State" 1t is about
equal to the verdict of twelve coiored
men, who declared of Il man who had
been arrested for chicken stealing that he
was mot guilty, but mustn't do 1t again.
In point of appalling ignorance, however,
both of these instances yield the palm to
a backwoods Jury who sat on case IN
yolying the theft Of hog, and who found
the hog not guilty. and then recommend
ed both the plaintiff and defendant to the
mercy Of the Court.
Every position in life has its cheerful
side. No man can go SO far down hlll
that the sun won't shine on some part of
/ the valley for at least an hour i'll the day.
| Think of the poor organ grinder and take
| heart. .'Ah," he said to himself rs he
/ turned the awful crank of that unmelo-
| dious instrument and heard the pennies
drop on the sidewalk, ''if hadn't studied
music when l was young l might now be
a common beggar.
! Grief has its unalterable laws, which
must be obeyed, and when We are COM
PEELED TO do a thing it is generally easy to
! do it. 4 French lady went through the
/ terrible trial of herhusband's burial with
| out tear She bowed her head in grief,
and used her handkerchief in the most
becoming and fascinating manner, but re-
Trained from weeping. When congratu-
lated by friend on her ability to bear up
under the most trying circumstances, she
said, with sigh: Yes. mon ami, you
know well enough that l would like to
cry. but the doctor has positively forbid
den it, and says it will utterly ruin my
complexion.
The best case of Observation-Disclosures of
which We have lately heard was that of n
Heidelberg professor. While he was
crossing the street q watering cart let Its
food loose upcn him. The professor
quietly raised his umbrella and walked
two blocks before he discovered that the
sun was shining brightly.
A would-be joker said in company
which was partly composed of Hebrews,
"Now, my friends, l think Japan is the
best place to live in in the world | un-
derstand that there are neither Jews nor
pigs there" 4 little fellow in the corner.
whose nationality could not bo disputed.
the contour of whose face showed that
Jerusalem was his home, replied We'll.
mine friend, l tell you vat it is. Let's
YOU and me go there and exhibit ourselves.
We could make our fortune. / could rep
resent the Jews and You could take the
rest of the role in perfection.
A young man brought this in The
palatial residence Of our well known citi-
zen John Smith, Esq, WAS last evening
blaze of light, the occasion being recher-
cie s)iree in honor of the lovely Miss
Smiths arrival home from the academy.
From early cleaning till Q o'clock We're
the guests arriving. At that hour all sat
down to most appetizing repast, TO
which was given the close attention it 50
well deserved. The large parlors were
cleared for the merry dancers at the COZ
clusion Of the banquet, and until the wee
sma' hours ayont the twal were reached,
fair women and brave men tripped the
light fantastic toe i'll the bewilderinS
mazes Of the dance" Etc, etc, etc,
and SO forth. When that young man
got the paper and found these words,
There WAS dance at Smith s last night
only these and nothing more-he went
out and hanged himself. Boston TrUts-
cript
4 corpulenl clergyman rose at 4 public
dinner to return thanks. which he did by
la;inc bis bapsls imploringly on his stom-
ach and saying, Nr tnanl-Tl.aa fnr
these blessings so bountifully spread, and
our capacity to enjoy them. -
Eleventh Ward Dutchman to another
Z. W. d. q dells yer, Heinrich, dis
guntry isn't zectional das mort and ias
sout' poth wants reconciliation und vergif-
ness, only poth wants TO do de vergifing."
-Phiiddet tjIhid North -Imcrican.
Judge Harris, of Texas said if he
couldn't take care of his own money no
express company could, and he started
home with 81, 400 and reached there with
only broken head left.
a
up dog, and he resigned on the ground
that it was the buffers duty. The butler
declined and resigned, and after six ser
wants had left the earl tied up the dog
himself
The candidate who puts himself in the
hands of his friends expects to be taken
safely home at night.-Ncu orleans
Picayiuic.
An exchange has the following obser-
walton: We always get mad when we
walk along street about nine O'Clock,
and passing shady porch where a young
man is bidding his beloved good night,
we hear the girl exclaim in loud whis-
per, ''Oh, stop, George, you haven't
shaved"
Little Nellie was looking at some pic
lures Of wild animals when Mr.. Jorkins
called, and appealed to that gentleman to
explain one Of the pictures. That is a
wild boar" said he and the little lady
looked ai it thoughtfully and replied: ''It
doesn't look like you, does it, Mr.. Jor-
kins - 81 hope not" responded the
guest Why" because" said the
artless infant, mamma said, when your
card was sent up, There is that old bore
JorlIms again.
The latest thing in India shawls is an
embroidered spine up the middle of the
shawl, 80 that it looks as though the
wearers backbone was showing clear
through
The Indians with Ourav cat six square
meals duy, first eating all the meat, then
all the bread, then all the butter, and so
on down until 1t comes to the horse rad
ish, where they stop.
Give me scu, Mister" said Paris
%ainin Ia gentleman the other day Il
have had no diruer.' ''No more have |, o."
answered the gentleman who was rusE-
ing f. his restaurant We'll, then, said
the boy, ''give me two sous and well dine
together"
fessor's back is turned lin a Whisper
Say, how do you get the quantity out OF
the radical 2" Consoling Fresh ''Rub
it out"
The New Orleans Tihtes paraphrnses
Gllmore's national hymn III NEST out
landish manner
Who ak with fevrrcni love and ave,
God bless aud save North American
nc-hc-hc hc-haw'
This being leap year, Maine street
young lady thought she would make Il
proposal, and she did She proposed 10
the young man VII" had been keeping
her up nights TINT he clear ont and give
some one else a chance, and he took the
hut and cleared. Bridg"port Ndiidtrd
Mr John Fortune Of Fond du lac
Wis, recently became the father Of twin
girls. When he first looked upon the
new cnmcrs he smiled sort uf "hastly
smile aud remarked well, suppos"
it IL nll right, for If is said Miss Fortunes
never come sipgly.
There is another scion Of royalty get
ting hiInscif ready for the pistol of the
nssassin. The second son of Queen VIC
toria plays the fiddle.
The roaming corrcspolrticnt OF the Bur