New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-09-08
PITH AND POINT.

THE Philadelphia baby elephant has
had an attack Of cholera elephantum.
THE holes in harbor fertilization
were made for big guns. That is why
they holed the fort.
TIE Binghamton IN. Y y Republican
has discovered that the smaller the hus
band the larger are the bundles his wife
makes him carry.
AS you travel around the country you
are more and more impressed with the
conviction that the chief end of man is to
paint patent medicines signs onthe fences.
-HaVkeyc BMrdette.
HOWEVER wcll-behaved family cat
may be during the day, it can not be
trusted with a night-key after dark.
There are too many lodges for cats at
Mighty. 0. PicGya<ne.
"ZEPHAN1Au," said his wife, with q
chilling severity, 81 saw you coming
out of saloon this afternoon" tWell,
my darling" replied the heartless man,
i" yon wouldn't have your husband
staying in a saloon all day, would your"
AMONG new hosiery are styles for
archery and croquet, showing embroi-
dered bows, arrows, balls and mallets
upon blue, black and garnet grounds.
With the assistance of these articles a
lot of very respectable people can be
made to look like circus.-N. o.
Picaya1'ae. s"
WHEN a human skeleton is dug up we
frequently see it stated that the remains
are supposed to be an Indians, from
the fact that flint arrowheads are found
with them: The more natural conclu-
sion is that it is the skeleton of the fell
low who was trying to get away from
an Indian.-Bost0,s Post
IT seems almost incredible that an
elephant has 10000 muscles in his
trunk; but after a man has experienced
an elephants gentle twist about his
system and been thrown the whole
length of a menagerie tent, through the
candy stand into the lemonade tub, he
will be willing to take oath that there
are at least million and a half muscles
in that interesting animals front tail.
BUT few words rhyme with "adver-
tiser.''
The advertiser,
lie Is wiser
Than the Kaiser
About exhausts the panel.-Frec Press.
Indeed! Then perhaps you never heard
that: There once was a miser, who
lived by a geyser, on fast-rolling Iser,
and married Elizer, and tried to advise
her that no early riser would ever de-
! spise her, but rather would prize her, if
| early she HES her to kitchen and fries
her old mans appetizer in the shape of
a good breakfast before he gets up in
the morning. And the panel isn't ex.
hausted yet.-Philaezezphia Bulletin.
THERE is man up in New Hampshire
who doesn't earn such a great sight Of
money, but who has a mania for joining
every secret society that will permit his
membership. The initiation and the1
fees take a good portion of his money,
besides which he is at some lodge meet
ing every evening, which greatly exas.
perates his wife. The Manchester
| Mirror quotes the following as one OF
| the outbursts of this afflicted woman,
! made when she was comparatively cool
and calm: "Jine! He'd jine any thing.
! There can't nothing come along that's
dark and sly and hidden, but he'll jine
it. If any body should get up society
to burn his house down, he'd jine it just
as soon as he could get in, and if he had
to pay to get in he'd 60 all the sud.
| dcner."
| TO A PLATE OF HASH
| Inscrutable! Though subtler than the sphinx
l Thou hast no inspiration for the hind
| The dulard deals with thee nor ever thinks
| 10 ask thee for the food that feeds the mind
| But for the poet seeking truth, thou art
| A lofty ideal and a doubt supreme;
119s dol SfrINf
The changcful fringe of an Elusive dream.
| The soul that is attuncd to ideal things,
Beholding thee, u fairy grotto secs.
] Though dOst uplift mayination's wings
| And Fancy revelleth iii thy mysteries.
| 0 hash thou hidest from thy votary's sight
More secrets than arc wrapped in death and
night.
David L. Prouc!at, IN tie Graphic