davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
Mixed Those Items Up.

A ludicrous transportation occurred in
the makeup of couple of telegraphic
items in the New Haven Journal and
Courier in one day which produced
the following effect: "a large cast
iron wheel, revolving 900 times per
minute, exploded in that city yesterday
after a long and painful illness. De-
ceased was a prominent thirty-second-
degree Mason" This was followed by
the second item, which read: John
Fadden, the well-known florist and real
estate broker of Newport, r. T., died
in Wardner 81 Russel's sugar mill, at
Crystal Lake, Ill, on Saturday, doing
$1,000 damage to the building and in
juring several workmen, and Lorenzo
Wilcox fatally a..
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
An Imnortant Parsonage.

The English Queens Messenger" is
a well paid and highly considered
Eunctionary who passes his time between
Downing street Balmoral, Constanti-
nOple, Vienna, and Washington. His
salary is from 96OO to FL, 900 per an
mum, exclusive of travelling and hotel
expenses. AS a rule he is good lin
guiss ard gourmet, with an eye to the
specialities in the way of plats in the
various capitals through which he
passes. His occupation is hard one, and
his traditions 'bristle with hair-breadth.
escapes and romantic adventures.
He is the bearer of royal presents, deco
rations and declarations of war, and
every species of diplomatic documents,
not entrusted to the post or the wire.
In France the same official is paid only
1900 francs a year with travelling ex-
penses--a shabby amount, cOnsideriis,
the rudeness of the meter and the ding
lance of the journeys. -
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
The ELEPHANT.

One day, children, when the menag-
erie had been quiet for long time, the
hyena was looking so lonesome and
desOlate that the elephant said he re-
minded him of the howl of the wilder
ness" every time he spoke. "You can't
prove it" said the hyena. you peI-i-
can," said the elephant, which was
neither good English, good grammar,
nor good fun, and nobody laughed but
the elephant, don't you know it's no
show" The bison interfered here, and
said the 'possum might not be a very
te-beast, but he had right to speak
if" Well, well, old bufaloafer,"
laughed the elephant, q [ reckon you're
here as bisonifcation of justice, are
you, you old bison of a gun? I'd like
to see anybody pull the wool over your
eyes," The bay mule down in the
corner remarked that he'd like to see
anybody pull the wool on the end of
his tail, but nobody let on they heard
him. Then, when the eagle tried to
say something, the elephant asked him
if he hadn't Just got off a Sixth Ward
political transparency, ard then said he
thought he remembered seeing him ON
a BARRIERS pole. Then the bear spoke
and said they'd had enough of that
nonsense; and the elephant told him
he'd better haul himself inside the hat
store before it rained, and asked if soft
felt would be much worn this winter.
And then he finally got the monkey to
crying by calling him Mr.. Darwin, and
telling him he looked enough like a
a man to run for Congress. Aud in a
little while he had the menagerie in
such an uproar that the lights had to
be put out and the people sent home.
Land, yes, children, the trouble they
used to have with the elephant no
tongue can tell. He was always such q
tease.-Bob BaLrdette. mi
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
Victor Hugo on Pessimism.

In Scrtb7le7SS Monthly, Mr.. II. RI
Boyesen gave an account of @TwC
Visits to Victor Hugo" In the course
of conversation Hugo said that the the
alter of events in the twentieth century
would be Africa, and added that oil the
other races are Inevitably approaching
the type of the white race, and a0tJE all
IN the end be 1ChGtel This, however
was not the readers only surprise, as
VIII be seen from this extract:
We have among us, too" / said
:" an old and wise man who takes the
same hopeful view of the future as you
do; 1 mean Mr.. Emerson. When pa
triotic men become discouraged at the
fragrant abuse of our free institutions
which they have daily to witness-when
vulgar medioerity and selfish ignorance
seem triumphant, and culture, talent
and purity are trodden in the dust
then there is sore need of strong and
cheerful voice to tell us that this is but
passing. crisis, from which we shall
emerge the stronger and better for our
very knowledge of evil. This is the
gospel Mr.. Emerson breaches at all criti-
cal times"
Mr.. Emerson" said Victor Hugo,
giving the name a decidedly French
cut. Who is he? I never heard of
him"
I gave a brief sketch of Mr.. Emer-
sons life, and dwell especially upon
the profundity of his thought and his
large ideal vision.
Il am glad" resumed our host when
I had finished, chat you have such
men in America. They are needed
everywhere; but they are rare. The
wise man is never a pessimist. A pessi-
mist is a narrow-hearted, narrow
Drained man, with a contracted mental
horizon, who allows himself to get
frightened at the first severe squat, and
imagines the ship of state will founder.
challenge any of these shallow gentle
men, who are always seeing a catastro-
phe ahead and prophesying disaster
and ruin-I challenge them to tell me
whether they can point to a single
historic period which has not, in its
tOtality, been a great advance upon it's
predecessors. l am sure they cannot
1t is q mighty impulse which drives the
world onward, and, in spite of traitors
and bribe-takers and cOnquering and
crowned criminals, it will move onward
and ever onward toward higher and
better states. I see in the twentieth
century the sure and inevitable aboli-
ton of the great evils which now perpIex
us; new problems, growing out of a
still more complex civilization, will
then arise, and new ages will solve
them"
He here turned with friendly nod
toward me, put his hand on my knee,
and said:
Keep that in mind, sir. Do not for
get it,"
you evidently take me to be pessi-
MIST" l remarked, smiling.
'You betrayed your sympathy with
the pessimists," he replied, gra7ely,
i'aud they are not deserving of sym
pathy. They are pitiable objects, these
cynics, who imagine that
the universe is out of joint because they
have an impaired digestion. Nor have
any patience with those superior
critics who, for fear of soiling their
dainty hands, shirk their duties as men
and citizens"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
How Bessemer Learned.

IL will be of interest to the reader to
learn that, according to Bessemer's
statement, his knowledge of iron metal
lUTgy was at that time very limited so
that he had to get up the whole Of the
subject He IS now, however of opinion
that his ignorance proved Of great adj
vantage to him, as he had very little to
unlearn and could thus approach the
subject free from the bias inseparable
from those who have followed a beaten
track and ainIy endeavOred to get
out of the rut. These words of Bes-
semer require, however, to be carefully
considered. He does not imply that
state of ignorance would enable him to-
invent, as many schemers imagine, who
put forth crude ideas. which ale crushed
by practical men. He set to work to
learn the whole business thoroughly,
first from books and then in the foun-
dries. Still it will be seen that here lisa
man well on in the world, who set him
self to hard learning while many of us
think that we can do very well without
learning at all or without learning any
more. To the public who thus get de-
tails at first hand. it is also of interest
to know that having built a small ex-
perimental iron works in ST. Pancras,
and begun his preliminaries, months
rolled on, and he spared neither labor
nor money, but made failure after fail
ure. To the wise man, however, failure
is a way of learning, and failures are
carefully recorded: 1, because they
show us the way how to save our time
by not trying the failure over again; 2,
because they show us, through narrow
ing the field, in what way we must trOd
and 3, because they 4 themselves sug-
gest some further experiment.. Bes-
gemer indeed says that during his long
time of failure he was accommodating
many important facts WI ch could not
but ultimately be of advantage to him.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
Australian Marriages.


In Australia, as elsewhere, a tie of
more or less peTmanence and acknOwI-
edged validity binds men to their part
ners. Marriage, again, is surrounded,
as among civilized people. by laws of
" forbidden degrees" which are very
curious, very little understood, and
which in many ways resemble, while in
s0thers they seem to differ from, the
laws Of other undeveloped peoples.
Wives are chiefly obtained by exchange.
The dominant male OF group-father,
eldest brother or uncle has the GUS
tOmarY right Of swapping away the
Young women OF the group in exchange
Tor other young women whom it is law
flI for him to marry. Tt is clear that
old men with families have the best
chance Of getting more wives, while
Young men with no sisters are likely to
remain bachelors. If this system
worked itself out, each tribe would
consist Of q few overgrown harems and
q set of wild bachelors. As it happens,
young men and women revolt against
the old, and voluntary elopements or
marriages by capture are common. The
course Of true love runs anything bat
smooth. The lover is exposed to the
" ordeal of spears" which are hurled at
him by the relatives of the lady. The
runaway bride is beaten, perhaps her
feet are speared, to prevent her from
running away again. III young pair
are courageous and true to each other,
however, the sympathy of the group
usually comes round I'd them, and they
enter on peaceful married life. 1t has
been said that the old men sometimes
give wives to the young, who thus
" take stock" as the ancient Irish said,
and become, in way, the vassals of the
old fellows London Saturday Re-
UtelC.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
space.

Space is very large. 1t is immense,
very immense. A great deal of i'm
mensity exists in space. Space has no
top, no bottom. In fact, it is bottom
less both at the bottom and at the top
Space extends as far forward as it does
backward, vice versa or versa vice.
There is no compass of space, nor points
of the compass, and no boxing of the
compass. A billion million of miles
travelled in space won't bring man any
nearer to. the end than one mile or one
inch. Consequently, in space it's bet
ter to stay where you are, and let well
enough alone Graphic, after Proc
toY. ss
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
GOSSIP FOR THE LADIES.
The Baehelor,g 80 Hours.

The Bachelors Last Hours.
Not laugh was heard, nor a joyous note
AS our friend to the bridal we hurrteds
Not 8 wit discharged his farewell joke
As tho bachelor went to he married.
We married him quickly to save bis fright,
7 Our heads from the sad sight turning
and we sighed as we stood by the lamps dim
light
To think him not more discerning.
10 think that bachelor, free and bright,
And shy Of the sex we found him,
Should there at tho altar, at dead of night,
BE caught in the snares that bound him.
Few and short were the words we said,
Though of cake and wine partsking;
We escorted hlIn home from the scene of dread,
While his knees were aWtully shaking.
Slowly and sadly we marched him adoEA
from the top 70 the loWermost story;
aud we have never heard from nor seen Ehe poor
Whom we left alone in his glory.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
The Cucumber

The cucumber is known to have been
cultivated for more than 5000 years. In
ancient Egypt it was extensively grown,
and is SO at the present day. The pre-
else date when the plant was first Guilt
waited in England is not recorded. With
the melon, it was commonly cultivated
III the reign of Edward III; but, in
consequence Of the wars of the Roses,
the cultivation of it was neglected and
a last entirely lost The plant was in
PRODUCED again at the latter part of the
reign of Henry VIII.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

g Too much sleep blunts the nervous
system, impairs memory, enfeebles
muscular energy, and is apt to produce
inordinate fat. To sleep much is not
necessarily to be q good sleeper.
Generally they are the poorest sleepers
who remain longest in bed ;that is, they
awaken less refreshed than if the time
of rising were earlier by an hour or two.
While it is true that children and
young people require more sleep than
their elders, yet it should be the care of
parents that over-indulgence be not
permitted. Where the habit is for
children to lie in bed until 8. or
8 in the morning, the Last two hours,
at least, do not bring sound, dreamless
sleep, where the hour of retiring is
s or 9 in the evening, but are
spent in "dozing," and, in fact, such
excess cannot fail to insure harmful
results, and establish habits of in
dolence which last through a lifetime.
WHEN a farmer puts a ring in hogs
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

SPAIN has 90 Dukes, 500 Marquises,
$50 Counts, 81 Viscounts, SO Barons.
The whole number of persons bearing
the titles of Duke, Marquis, Earl, Wis
count, Baron and Lord in the United
Kingdom of Great Britain and ireland
is somewhere about 900, but of these
only some 400 have seats in the House
of Lords. Most of the rest bear mere
" courtesy titles.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
Miraculous Escane.

Francis d. Kerr, of Baltimore, while
putting bell into church steeple in
Carbondale, Pa, made a misstep and
fell distance of ninety-five feet. He
struck upon coil of rope, and, his fall
having been partly broken by catching
a rope, he escaped without any bones
fractured, although he was severely
bruised from head to foot.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

AN exchange says Queen Victoria
receives $4,000 day. She's got nearly
as great a sinecure as a paragrapher.
If we are ever induced to change our
business We'll be a queen, certain
XoRkeg;'s Statesman.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24


Nervously working his latch-key from
the door the business man hurried into
the house for his dinner. "Hello, say,
Jane, where are your"
Here I am, dear. I have Just got
one more feather to paint on this crane
and then it win be finished. Isn't it
going to be just Lowell"
81 know, yes, yes. Where's Jennie ?"
"She's gone out to get few more
autumn leaves; one or two bare spaces
are left on the wall in her room,
and" ~
"WeH, well, of course; but where's
Bidget?"
ooh, she has Comet carry the basket;
for Jennie, you know, isn't strong"
"To be sure, to be sure; but where's
the Ginner?D
"EoW, John, how can you be so
cruel? You know thsst-"
"Yes, I should think I did. I know
that the next time I'm such an internal
fool as to bring a copy of Household
art into the house I'll be balder than I
am now. 1t may be jofred pretty; I'm
hungry for a square meal. Painted
storks amt fricasseed chicken nor au-
tunn leaves celery" and he went out of
the house in a decided manner, leaving
James tear-drops rapidly falling on her
red and blue heron, washing all the
pretty feathers out of its tail.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
Stumbling Women.


Of course, the age has gone by in
which man can find the satisfaction he
used to take in the mere brute sense of
physical superiority to women. But
has he got rid of the aboriginal desire
to play the lordP Holding fast in his
hands the bulk of the desirable posi-
tons in life, does he look with satisfac-
tion on the idea of women stepping in
and claiming a modest percentage of
them? The man is neither fool or
sentimental hypocrite who would assert
that the masculine majority does. Poll
the colleges of the land, and take the
vote of the chivalric students whether
the young women of the country should
enjoy the same advantages of educa-
ton with themselves. Nine to ten,
they would black-bau the idea. OF
course, they think they do this in the
best interest of the girls, who are too
sweet and dear to be reserved for any
purpose but balls and drives and lawn
tennis. nd it must be admitted that
whole bevies of them are wonderfully
attractive for these purposes. But
suppose a certain proportion of them
do desire q broader education, and are
Unhappily endowed with an amount of
brain and enthusiasm that makes them
restless and miserable under conditions
that content the average. Do the
ranks OF man spontaneously divide for
their passage through; do the hats
come off in respect, while the voices
raise the "Salve ReginaP" No, from
the start the superior girl has to take
an amount OF snubblng from hes
brothers at home, society at large, and
the established orders in the medical
or other profession she aspires to, that
would bluff off and tlishearten half the
boys and young rlen of the land.
There are, no doubt, notable exceptions
to such disposition among men, and
their number is increasing. Still the
true knight-errantry of the age is, as
yet, confined to the limited few, who,
having conquered the seductive luxury
OF INDUCING in o certain intellectual
contempt for women, are chivalrously
addressing themselves to the rescue of
distressed maidens set upon by a mob
of vulgar and enslaying prejudlees.-
Boston Herald
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
COMM ERCIAL HOUSE
MORR1SiOWN. TENN.

TNHIS hous", rmerly known as tn. GUgshy
Il House, has Oh RANGED prop letters, AMI has un-
dergo g n thorough change il every respect. We
therefore pectfu ly ark share of the pdtTohaee
of the trayoiing public, promise satisfaction TO
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
Two Phtures.


Miss Blanche Murray is a very proper
young lady. Last week she caught her
little brother smoking.
you terrible thing" she Kissed, 81
am going to tell father on you'll"
"This is only corn-silk," murmured
the boy, penitently.
II don't care what it is. I am going
TO tell on you, and see that You don't
get into that beastly, horrid, degrading
habit. I wouldn't have anything to do
with smokers"
Jtis evening. Mus Murray is sitting
on the front stoop with Algernon. 1t
is moonlight, and tie redolent spirits
of the honeysuelle and syringa are
waiting bliss to their already intoxicated
souls.
Would little bird object to my smok-
ing a cigarette?"
'Not at all, /" replied Miss Murray. Il
like cigarettes, they are so fragrant and
romantic. I think they are just toode-
Iieious for anything"
"Then I'll light one"
"Do, and blow some of the smoke in
my face; it is so soothing and dreamily
paradisic."
Then he lights cigarette, and they
talk about the weather for two hours
and half. .-v
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

WHEN a farmer puts ring in hogs
nose he strikes at the root of the
thing.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

g854.oE sfs aE1R2 soE
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

Nervously working his latch-key from
the door the business man hurried into
the house for his dinner. Hello, Isay,
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
THE YOUNGSTOWN GAZETTE.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH "a. 1850
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

A Stupid Hunter Mistake Them for wild
cats ana FerfOrafes Them with Buck
shot.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24

Then I'll light one"
"Do, and blow some of the smoke in
my face; it is so soothing and dreamily
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
Hungry for a suuare Meal.

Then he lights cigarette, and they
talk about the weather for two hours
and a half.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-03-24
MEXICAN

Mustang Iinlmeut.
II pcnetrutCs muscle, membrane and
tissue, TO the very bone, banishing pain
and curing disease with a power that
never fails. II b. a medicine 1eeaed by
everybody, from the rdHcher0, who rides
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-05-19
A Carriage in the Fourteeth Century
[From the New Quarterly Magazine]

The king and his mobiles generally
made their journeys on horseback, but
they also possessed carriages. Nothing
gives better idea of the rude, cumbrous
luxury which was at that time the boast
of civil life than the structure of these
heavy machines. The best of them had
four wheels, and three or four horses
harnessed in single file; one of them was
ridden by a position armed with a whip
with a short handle and several thongs.
Solid beams rested on the axles, and a
truck with a round top like tunnel was
placed upon this frame; the unsightly
effect of the whole can be imagined, al
though there was extreme elegance in
details. The wheels were overlaid with
ornament, and the spokes, as they ap-
preached the outer rim, took the form of
a pointed arch; the wooden sides of the
carriage were painted and gilded, and
the inside was hung with the beautiful
tapestry so common in that age. The
seats were covered with embroidered
cushions, on which it was possible to
take haf-reclining posture; there were
pillows in the angles, as if to provoke
sleep, and square windows, hung with
silken curtains, pierced the sides of the
carriages. 1t was thus that noble ladies
travelled, their slender forms encased in
tight dresses which defined all the move
ments of the body.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-05-19
The Secret JUDGE.

It is said that Martin Battles, who, 20
years ago, murdered a man through
jealousy in Chautauaua county, New
York, has lately become insane through
remorse, imagining that the ghost of his
victim continually follows him. His es-
cape from punishment was curious. He
was tried, convicted, and sentenced to
death. During the previous year the
legislature had passed law defining
the degrees of murder, and declaring
that the penalty for murder in the first
degree should be imprisonment in a state
penitentiary for one year, after which,
upon warrant issued by the governor,
the convicted person should be taken out
and executed. Under this statute Bat
ties was sentenced and incarcerated at
Auburn. During his imprisonment the
Court of Appeals declared the statute
under which he was convicted unconstitu-
tional, and he was released.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-05-19
An Effective Gun.

A military small-arln manufacturer at
Wurzburg has invented simple ap-
paratus which will enable any ordinary
breech-loading rifle or gun with central
ignition to be used as saloon rifle, thus
allowing men to be exercised at target
practice in the drill-sbed, or even in their
rooms. The invention consists of a tube
of cast steel of the same length as the
barrel of the rifle with which it is to be
used, but of very small cahbre. This
tube is fitted with brass rings about an
inch wide, which enable it to be pushed
into and pulled out of the barrel of the
rifle without in any way injuring the in
terror of the piece. The cartridge used
is of steel, and is so designed that none
of the gas generated by the explosion of
the small charge of decorating substance
used to propel the bullet can escape to
injure the bore of the rifle.