Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-05-07
AL SORTS.

A GOOD word for bad one is worth
much and costs little.
TIE center of gravity-The lowest
button on Quaker's vest.
Cats have no fixed political belief.
They're usually on the fence.
SoME one wants to know how many
feet there are in the depth of despair.
A CARPENTER is about the only mar
who is mad when he can't find his level.
LET nature give a young man cheek,
and all other things will be added unto
him. -
THIS is very gentle world if you dc
not rub its back the wrong way of ths
fur.
In this country it WAS Powhattan
who originated the idea of getting up
club.
KITE tails will feel lost when tele-
graph wires have been put under
ground.
THE distance from Panama to Aspin-
wall by water is 10000 miles; by land
it is 471 miles.
THE first musical instrument built
on the plan of an organ, with pipes and
tubes, was constructed in 757.
If you want eggs in winter never
keep old hens. When hen is 3 years
old sell her for spring chicken.
A scHooL-TEAcHERs says that children
should never be stupidity joked at when
they blunder in answering question.
STAGNANT and impure water which
COWS drink while at pasture is one of
the most prominent causes of bad odor
in milk.
NEVER touch lettuce with a knife, as
it impairs the flavor and destroys the
crispness of the leaf; always tear it apart
with the fingers.
THE Frenchman who attended fox
hunt was asked where the meet came
of. Having been thrown, he replied
thatit came off his hands and knees.
Sour LA CHANrnLY.- Make puree
of green peas, or dried peas, toast bread
cut into small pieces, and then fry.
When cooked pour into soup and
serve.
A WRITER in the Garden says that if
pott;ng soil is placed for day or two
in the hen-yard every particle of it is
dug over, and all grubs and eggs of in
sects are picked out.
FoR sleeplessness high London au-
thority recommends, instead of stimu-
lants, q breakfast cup of hot beef tea made
from half teaspoonful of Leibig's ex-
tract. It allays brain excitement.
A YOUNG lady who didn't admire the
custom, in vogue among her sisters of
writing letter and then cross-writing
it to eligibility, said she would prefer
her epistles without an overskirt."
Sour A LA CoNDE.-Boil some red
beans, season with salt, and add two or
three onions. Pass all through col
endar, and butter to taste, and before
serving add small pieces of fried toast
The ancient Egyptians were the first
to embalm the dead. They believed
that the souls of the dead, after many
thousand years, would reinhabit their
bodies if they were preserved entire.
Some OF the bodies buried 5000 years
ago are perfect to this day.
ARTIFICIAL fertilizers add to the soil
certain elements in a condition in which
they are Immediately active, and force
strong, vigorous, early growth, and
SO enable the plants to push ont q large
number of feeding roots, which find
out and appropriate the manure later,
when it is in the best condition for
plant food.
"HuMPHl" said young gentleman
at play with young lad =; II could
play the lover better than that myself"
l would like to see you try" was the
naive reply.
TIE Boston newspapers tell Of a
stage-struck woman who got divorce
from her husband in order to become
an actress, failed dismally behind the
footlights, returned to her home, and
begged to be made wife again, which
was done by remarriage.
The following message, intended to
break bad news gently, was sent to the
widow OF q man who had just been
killed by a railroad accident: Dear
Madam--Your husband is unavoidably
detained for the present. Tomorrow
an undertaken will call upon you with
full particulars"
lNvAL1D-@Tve had wretched night,
Mrs. Wobbles." Nurse-"Dear, dear
me, sirl I thought you slep' most
comfortablel" Invalid with groan-
"Oh, Mrs. Wobbles, do use the ad-
verb" Nurseries, sir; I'll see about
it directly, sir, but" -puzzIed-" RELY
don't think there's one in the 'ouse,
sirl"
ACCORDING to experiments of the On.
tario (Canada) School of Agriculture,
by adding $5.4O worth of bone dust to
farm-yard manure the crop of wheat was
increased $7.20 per acre. By adding
nitrate of soda the value of the crop
was increased so. Lucerne is deemed
profitable, having a season from April
to October.
A LITERARY curiosity has Just been
published in Amsterdam. It consists
of three short stories, possessing the
peculiarly that in each of them only
one vowel is employed-in the first a,
in the second and in the third O, &C.
cording to which the stories are entitled,
"A-Saga," aE-Legende, O.Sprook." It
is SAID this could be accomplished in
no other language.
IT is pointed out that, in these bad
times, hint how to provide most &C.
ceptable and inexpensive present for
the children may not be uLwelcome.
It was the practice of an eminent army
surgeon to lock up his olive branch a
week before the anniversary of his
birthday. On that day he solemnly
opened his dungeon and released him,
saying: "The most valuable boon
which man can enjoy is liberty Take
it, my son, as q welcome present from
your parents" =
L A TRAVELLING glazier has been arrest
ed at Warrington, England, for stimu-
lating the law OF supply and demand.
His method of creating trade was to
throw stone through q window in the
evening and then appear in the morn
ing to offer his services. But he over.
did the business when he smashed sew
enteen panes Of glass in the church. in
one night, and came near hitting the
landlord with the bowlder thrown
through plate-glass window of the
Bulls Head Inn.
a CURIOUS YEAR.-The year 1881 is
mathematical curiosity. From left to
right and right to left it reads the same:
eighteen divided by two gives nine "a
q quOtient. n 1881 is divided by 2O9
nine is the quotient; If divided by nine.
the qnohent contains nine; If multi
piled by nine. fha nrndr,c% ,1,,x.:-. -.