Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-02-28

Miraculous inventions are the order Of the
day. Even Edison has been surpassed by a
genius who has invented what is called MAR
ned Mans Indicator" 1t is a wonderfully SEN
sitive arrangement Of the ordinary thermome-
ter, in convenient pocket size, and is graded to
scale OF cabalistfe. marks, which show the exact
state OF the domestic atmosphere at any hour Of
the night. The hard-worked and belated hus
band arrives home, say about midnight. He
takes out his indicator" thrusts it in the key
hole and leaves It there few ss ;c nI nj Pulling
lights fitful cleaning. If It marks "S. A.
Sound asleep the poor husband pulls on his
boots noiselessly; uses his night-key with bated
breath; gives the door quick shove to keep II
from creeking, steals tremblingly to bed, ant
when his dear little wiley wakes up about two
seconds afterwards and wants to know how lone
Gabriel's trumpet couldn't wake him. W."
If the indicator" scores "a. A. C. B. D. K.
w. T." awake, awful cross, but does not know
what time 1t ISL the husband puts few more
boldly; walks in with slam-bang air, hits his
foot Intentionally against a chair wants &c
know why the devil the chairs ANTI kept out
OF OF, tae way; gets desperately mad on general
ness and intended curtain lecture; refuses to let
her get up and strike match-never did like q
light at night, nohoW; remarks gruf11y in re-
Spouse to timtd query that "it's about twenty.
five minutes after ten, and then turns into bed
with such an apparently awful state OF mind
that the wife OF his bosom Is afraid to speak to
him-at which he is very sad, of course.
There are numerous other marks on the indi-
Gator, showing just where it will do to'splay the
lodge dodge" or the 'tsick friend" or "beeH
standing on the corner talking with so-and so for
this or that from, you know where, was in town,
and had to go away on the two O'Clock train,
and he insisted so strongly that the whole party
stayed up to see him of, although he was q
great bore, and we only did it through court
esy."
But the most awfully awful of all the cabalIs-
tic signs on the dial is the one at the top, about
weary husband comes home about four a, mi.
from the direction of the butcher shop with a
roll OF meat held high in the air, so that every
one he passes cannot fall to see land sticks the
indicator In the keyhole, he is almost too weak
to draw it out. With hair on end he reads it BY
the faint light streaming in upon him over the
eastern hills, and sweat brakes out on his noble
the bulb Of the Indicator jammed smack up
against "R. (red hot and
still a heating and waiting for you just inside
the door, The inventor of the instrument says
that when this terrible misfortune overtakes a
man he feels that there is nothing left tn this
life worth living for, and appreciates the full
force of those beautiful lines:
'This world is all heeting show
For mans delusion given.h
He sings the meat out into the yard, and
braces himself for the coming fray, but says
nothing, for nothing can be said Be he ever so
gifted a liar, his accomplishment is more than
valueless. No lodge, no sick friend, no talking
on the corner, no sitting up to see the general
off, no swearing that he will never do it again.
in fact, nothing will avail. 1t is an absolutely
indefensible case. He is caught in dagrante
two hours previous, he had said to the boys
that he guessed he'd see 1t out now-might as
well be killed for sheep as lamb'-had all
vanished. The indicator having told him the
exact situation of things, he knows just what
to do, and that is nothing but get into bed at
once and wrap the drapery of his couch about
him, pull the pillow over his ears and wait for
his wife's breath to give out. It's awful while
1t lasts, but it has its use in relieving the I'M
fortunate husbands mind Of part of its load.
The indicator is a great Invention, and no
family should be without one. For sale at all
stores where they are kept.