The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1880-11-11

should be very tea-naeiOus of life.
When the night is pitch dark it
does by no means follow that it's
starry.
Health is the most precious boon,
but Daniel was the greatest Boone in
history.
Doesa man show his relative
strength when he marries his first
cousin?
''That's too thin" said the clown, as
he stuck mis- finger through tissue COW
ering Of his hoop balloon.
Much as a pretty woman may ad-
mirs gallant scout little for him
when on the trau-of her best prom
enade suit. 80
DIVORCES we'll enough" writes a
woman to a Paris newspaper. "but for
myself I prefer widowhood. 1t is.
suFsr stilI7
The full pack Of cards IN the fore
castle must never be confOunded with
quarterback in an entirely different
part Of the vessel.
Fond Mothers can easily prevent
there youthful offspring from creep
ing up stairs by scattering few tacks
along the route.
Pupil: 'I know how many days
there are In yss<three hundred.
and sixty-fvs and fourth" PARENT
''Is that 30? Where does the fourth
come inf" Pupil: Fourth of Ju-
ly." .-
''Tom," said girl to her sweetheart
You have been paying your ditress-
es to me long enough. It is time you
made known your contentious, SO az
net to keep me in expense any
longer.
1t may appear remarkable, but ca
yenRe pepper, one of the hottest Of
things, is excellent 10 make lee water
Ifyou don't believe this, throws hand
full in somebody's face and watch tho
oyss water.
"Never leave the tAblo with food in
the mouth" Cortainly NOT Moth
lcould be more rude. To slip dough-
nut into your coat pocket as you rise
from the festive board is very neat
. trick, however. That is, if you are
) not caught in the act.
"Do you say your prayers regu-
larlY every night and morning."
asked sympathetic lady of little
bootblack, whom she had just givon a
trihe. al a,lus SEA 'em at night,
mum, but any smart boy can take
care of hissolf in the day time, WAS
the young scoundrePs reply.
A noted humorist thus described,
ss near as We can call to memory
now, the fools kept by kings, queens,
and courts to amuso them in the
olden time: Its no use being a fool
, inoWadays-not it, indcedI Five hun
dred years ago-that was the time to
; be fool Ia those days fools were
, great men; but things are altered now,
, for great men are fools. In the ollen
time fools were well paid; but now,
r. Ike every other trade, profession or
o business, there Is so much opposition,
r. and so many people make fools of
: themselves for nothing, that the trade
. is not worth following. Now, Shak-
+ lspeare says, Let me play the fool!
- with mirth and laughter let old Wrin
- kles come; and rather my liver heat
- with wine than my heart cool with
mortifying groansP Now, there is II
. reason for being fool, but the gon-
i erality of fools are fools because they
have no reason. But am a fool, and
. l give you a reason for being fool.
q Consequently, being fool and hav-
20 ing u reason, l am a reasonable fool
; But there are so many kinds of fools
70 There are fools in their own right, and
o fools in their own wrong. There ar,
10 fools for nothing, and there are fool,
10 for interest. Now, am fool for in
A. terest-tbat is, l am a fool, and FIND
:. it to my interest to be fool. There
r. fore, being fool, and having an in
70 terest, ought to be cousidered,ar
+ interested and interesting fool. A
- the same time l must be a fool fo
>, principle, because if had no princi
n pie coDld have no iutercst, becaus
interest is derived from principle
- And when l show have an interest
;s that proves [ have principle; cCnse
=. IquentIy, l am principled fool. Blu
- the worst of all is dpunken fool-ex
- cept teetotal fool, That rominds N
=, of what l saw one day. IN ore quite
of saw a pig; in the other aepblsnc
of man. The pig was sol.cr, tii
man was drunk. The pig BAD r.n
T. tin bis nose; the other akiDial had OH
,in | on his finger. Fhe pig granted; +
80 did the luan; and said aloud, "
ian are known by the company We keep
nd and the pig heard INC snd wake
a.! . away, ashamed 70 t,e soen in the cur
-b, pany Of the drunken man. ShaI
.iso Espeare says, FAll's weR that ends wei
on 80 | finish with the Dip beCouse