The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07
A Question About Cows.

"Why, of course they have front
teeth on their upper jaw; how could
they bite off grass If they hadn'tp"
The Van Buren, street man said It was
not question of logic, but question of
fact; and II the Jackson street man did
not know whether cows had front teeth
on the upper jaw or not, he ought to
say SO.
1 did not ask you for your opinion"
he said, )" l asked you if you knew"
The Jackson street man was a little
nettled at this and replied with some
warmth. He said if he had a child
three years old who would ask such
question as that he should be afraid the
child was an idiot.
"You wouldp"
L certainly should"
Them" said the Van Buren, street
man as it Is such simple question, of
course you can tell me whether cows
have front teeth on their upper jaw or
whether they have not"
"Why of course they have"
"They have, ehY"
Yes."
"I'll bet you $40 they havn't," said
the Van Buren street citizen, pulling
out a roll of bills, and peeling off
couple of fives and shaking them at his
neighbor. "Put up or shut up"
"There is some internal catch about
this thing" said the other, suspiciously;
81 might have known it, too, the min
ute you asked me such an Internally idi-
otto question"
No catch at all about it, replied
he other, {" if cows have got front teeth
on their upper jaws the $40 is yours
If they have not, the money is mine.
Nothing could be fairer than that, could
there p'
But still the Jackson street man hesi-
tated. 1t was barely possibly that cows
did not have any front teeth on their
upper jaws. He remembered then, that
COWS in biting off grass always threw
their noses outward, while horses nipped
it off by jerking their nose inward. He
was astonished at how near he had
come to being victimized, but he didn't
like to come down. The two were then
near the meat market at the corner of
Jackson and Michigan streets, and the
Jackson street man was sure that a
butcher would know for certain whether
or not cows had front teeth on their up
per jaws; so he pushed open the door
and said to the proprietor:
Linehan, have cows got front teeth
on their upper jaw ?"
Linehan was running skewer
through roast Of beef, but he stopped
looked up in astonishment, and said,
WHAT"
"Have cows got front teeth on their
upper jaws ?"
"Cows ?"
"Yes.n
SCOT any front teeth on their upper
jaws Y''
eyes"
"Upon my word I don't know"
You don't know ?"
"No. You see 1 buy my beef by the
quarter at the slaughter house, and don't
have anything to do with the heads
But can find out for you when go
over"
81 wish you would.
So the Jackson street man closed the
door, and rejoined his neighbor and the
two walked along without saying a
word. A milk wagon was seen coming
up the street and it was resolved to hail
the driver and ask him the question, as
it was popularity supposed that milkmen
are more or less familiar with cows
The Van Buren, street citizen cleared his
throat and yelled
Hello ~
The milkman refined up and said:
" Go ahead with your tests. If you
find any water or chalk in that milk I'll
give you the whole of it,"
The citizens told him to be calm, as
they had no intention of testing his
milk, but only wanted to know II cows
had front teeth on their upper jaw.
The milkman looked at them about q
minute, and then whipped up his horse
and drove off, mentioning some kind Of
fools that they were. Up on Wisconsin
street they saw another milkman de
livering milk, and overtaking him they
explained the dispute. He smiled pity
ingly upon their ignorance, and said:
"Of course cows have front teeth Oh
their upper jaws-a driveling idiotought
to know that much. A COW would be 9
handsome looking object without any