Daily Republican., 1880-04-29
Yaoitious Freaks Reuna Flsaffhs
In yields OF Fact and Fancy.

i and he arose ana Baiu ChlckuurS sAhi
chickuns! [Cheers.] doan believe,
sab (ehsers,) dat dar am pusson In
dis room, sab CHEERS } who would steal
a par OF butes: (criss Of Hear! )aud / doan
want to take up de time Of dis meeting
Continued cheers but will say, sab,
(cries Of go on da. any man who
would steal one hoss wagon from an
alley (cheers,) wonld be mean enuf
to steal de eyes of dead mans cents.
Yes, sab, and dst's my opinYun sbout
chickuns, sah."
The old man sat down amidst the
widest applause, which might have
continued all the evening had not
twenty. three lengths Of etovepipe fallen
down and produced diversion in favor
Of danger. The glee club got the wink
and wrestled with the following:
J GILr.sDGE Song.
/ A1R-Cloudy IN the Lower Lake Region.
| oh ! dc pOstels an up,
An circus am comm;
Doan' you h'ar de ban play Sweet Sye-and-
BYef
| lie horns dey am BLOWN,
An Do drums am a-drumin',
An we're gwine to zee de bons, my sally
CHeEus DO rhi-nss-ceros,
An de picbald hoss,
An do big ele.apt
Of do ring am bess.
Detroit "Pfee Press.
COMMERCIAL TRAvELnRs.-.What would
| I do without the "beysi" How often
they have been my friends. 90 to .
new town. don't know enc hotel
from another. l don't know whore 70
10. Tie man with the samples gets Of
at the same station. l follow him with
out word or tSenaer.
He calls 70 the bus driver by name
and orders him 10 get ont Of this new, ,
as soon as We are seated. And when !
follow him ! arm inevitably certain to
10 to the best house in the place. He
sheuts at the clerk by name, and hres
Joke at the landlord % We 90 in.
He looks over my shoulder as regis
tor after him, and hands me his card
with shout Of recognition. He peeps
at the register again, and watches the
clerk assign roe to 9S.
Ninety nothing he shouts, "who's
in l5i" The clerk says he is saving 10
for Judge Dryasdust.
"Well, he be bowed" says my
CHEEKY friend, "give him the attic and
put this gentleman in l5."
And if the clerk hesitates he seizss
the pen and gives me IL himself, and
then he calls the porter, orders him TO
carry up my baggage and put fire in
Is, and then, in the same breath, adds:
"What time will you be down to sup
per Mr.. Burdette!" and he waits for
me, and, seeing that am stranger in
the town, lie sees that am cared for,
and the walters do not neglect me.
He tells me about the town, the peo-
pie and the business, he Is breezy,
cheery, sociable, full Of new stories,
always good natured, he tricks with ci-
gars and everfoWs with thousand
mile tickets" he knows all the best
rooms in all the hotels; he always has
key for the car seats, and turns a seat
for himself and his friends without
troubling the brakeman, but he will
ride on the wood boz or stand outside
TO accommodate lady, or he will give
his seat to an old man. l know him
pretty we'll.
For three years have been travel
ing with him, from Colorado to Maine,
and have seen the worst and the best
of him, and I know the best far cut
wejohs ihe worst, I could hardly get
along without him, and ! am glad he
ia xumerous.-The "Hawkeye" Man.
GoISGs on IN CoSeRgss. s.-Nr. Speaker
/. L.
The gentleman is scoundrel,a "a deep
dyed liar
Whist is the reason
Sir, | am personally responsible
Mr.. Speaker, rise to q question OF
privilege
The committee on the revision Of the
laws
Sir, Mr.. Speaker, am TO be de.
nounced in this House as
The gentleman misunderstood nae. In
calling him liar l meant nothing per-
sonal. say again that he ia scoun-
drel.
Mr.. Speaker, Iaccept the gentleman's
apology. l had heretofore considered
him more fool than knave. ] am
pleased 10 learn that he is equally
both. am Sir, myself, personally re-
sponsible for
Allow me, Mr.. Speaker, TO call at
sention to = piece of shameful iniquity !
in this bill, which ia already fully
know n TO the thieves and vampires who |
have charge Of it. There Is, in the First
section
would like 10 pair of
At this critical juncture the Sergeant
announced that two women and
threS babies were waiting TO see two OF
the members, and, after agreeing that
the evening session should be for de-
bate on finance only
House adjourned.
"sally Jones, have you done that
sum set you ?"
"No, thir; can't do it,"
Cant do itH Pm ashamed Of you
Why, at your age could do any sum
that was set me. hate that word
can't, for there is no sum that can't be
done, l tell you"
~ think, thir, that know a thum
you can't thifer out"
"Ha! Well, Sally, let's hear what
Il Is" ...
sit ith thith, thir: If one apple
cauthed the ruin Of the whole human
rsthe, how many thutch will it take to
make a barrel Of thider!''
"Miss Sally Jones, You may return
10 your parsing lesson"
"Yeth, thir."
They were looking al the hippotamus.