davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
AnAmusing Story.

"From grave to gay is the order Of
life, and OF newspapers as well-so we
revive the old and amusing story of the
miller who sometimes had crazy fits, in
which he always imagined himself to be
the Lord judging the world.
On these occasions he would put on a
paper crown, ascend pile of meal-bags
with great dignity, and call his neigh.
bors In succession.
The same ones were always judged and
they were the millers of his vicinity.
The first one summoned was Hans
Schmidt.
"Hans Schmidt, stand oop.''
"Hans, vat is been your pishness in
dat oder world2"
II vas miller, o, Lort!''
''Vas you joost man2"
'Vell, ven the water wash low, and the
pishness is pad, O., Lort, I sometimes
dakes leetle exdra doles.'
"Vell, Hans, you will go Offer nit tie
gotes, already yet
And 80 in succession all were tried and
Immediately sentenced to go over to the
goats.
Last of all, the miller invariably tried
himself in the following style:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
Laughing Off a Duel.

"Speaking of the Cash-Shannon du-
ell" said the exchange fiend, putting
his feet in the waste-basket, "we
need few men like Judge Dooly. He
laughed out Of duels with an audacious
wit that compelled even the admiration
Of his enemies. You remember he
said, when they threatened that if he
didn't fight his name would fill the col
umns Of newspaper, that he had rather
fill ten newspapers than one coffin.
Once he went on the field with man
who had st. Vitus dance. His opponent
was standing at his post, his whole frame
jerking nervously from his malady.
Dooly, in the soberest manner, left his
post, and, cutting forked stick, stuck
it in the ground in front of his oppo-
nent.
"'What does this mean?' asked his
opponent.
"'Why,' says Dooly, 4 want you to
rest your pistol in that fork, so that you
can steady your aim. If you shoot at
me with that hand shaking so, you'll
pepper me full of holes at the first
fire 7
"Then there was laugh all around,
and the duel was put off without day."
atlanta Constitution.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
Brefer Spelling in the New York Trib-

Your article on the subject, "Bol It
Down." I propose to inspect and "boil
it down to consistency you would little
suspect. By actual count your article
contains 337 silent leters-that is, letters
that ar not of the slitest use in express
ing the riten idea or the sounds Of the
words spoken. Your article, AS printed,
contains an average Of thirty-four letters
to line, and SO it will be very nearly
acurate to So that the 1877 letters make
ten lines. There ar seventy-four lines
in the article. Take out the ten lines OF
useles silent letters. and you 'sboil it
down to sixty-four lines Of vital, eject
iv leters-that is, IA per cent. OF your
article conveys no idea, expresses moth
ing, and is wors than useles, becaus it
couples valuable space. IF that ratio
holds good thruout the expression Of En-
glish speech in type to-da-and it does
aproximately-14 per cent Of every lsue
of the Tribune is desert waste. Not a
twig sprouts nor blade of idea gros in
it. You ar patiently, laboriusly and
uselesly putting into type, where it is ex-
pensiv. what is not uttered in speech,
where prodigality is chep and permisi-
BILE. OF the seventy-two columns Of your
daily isue IA per cent. or about ten col
ums are devoted to these costs Of letters,
who stalk thru the Tribune without any
soul, or idea, or function whatever. If
they would only so much as "squeak
and jibber," there mite be modicum Of
sens which would justify their parade,
but they do not. There they stand,
stupidity, stolidly silent. The Great ST.
lent Man himself is not more vacantly
Vulnerable.
Now what would the space Of those
ten sterile columns be worth to you for
advertising? At 200 lines per colum,
and so cents per line, your medium rate,
the sum would equal 81, 900, which you
ar contributing every day to the sup
port Of these shades. In one year the
sum would amount to $500, 900, and in
ten years to $780, 900, for the Tribune
alone. The ousting Of these expensiv
parasites in type is only q question OF
time. This is an age that destroys
shams, and these sham letters are fated
to go with the rest.-E c. Leland, in
the Neay York Tribune.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
In the Difficulties.

A certain manufacturer of Bradford,
England, who had made a composition
with his creditors, was under cross-ex-
animation at the Leeds Assizes. CHOW,
str cried Mr.. Bagwig ferociously, .a at
tend to me. Were you not in difficult
ties a few months ago." "Noa. !"
what sir? Attend to my question.
ask you again-and pray be careful in
answering, for you are upon your oath,
need hardly remind you-were you not
n difficulties some months ago?' "Noa,
oot as I knows Of. "Sir. do you pre-
tend to tell this court that you did not
make composition with your creditors
few months ago." "Oh! alb Pa
bright smile of intelligence spreading
,ver the ingenious face Of the witness
that's what you mean, is it? But, ye
zee, it were my creditors as were i the
difficulties then, an not me"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
A Fire.Red Aurora.

On. the morning Of Nov. Is, 1887,
there occurred one of the periodic re-
turns Of the meteoric showers, such as
had been annually witnessed for the six
preceding years. The next day fall OF
snow at the north covered the face of
the country with a mantle of the purest
white. In the evening, about o'clock,
while sky was yet thick with the fall
ing snow, all things suddenly appeared
as if dyed in blood. The entire atmos-
phere, the surface of the earth, the
trees, the tops of the houses, etc., were
tinged with the same scarlet hue. The
alarm of fire was given, and our vigilant
fremen were seen parading the streets
in their uniforms, which, assuming the
general tint, seemed in excellent keeping
with the phenomenon. Such was the ap-
pearance exhibited over large portion
Of the country where the clouds were
not so dense as to obscure the auroral
display. The false alarm of fire was
not confined to one place, and super
stitious fears Of some impending
awful confagration generally prevailed
among the ignorant throughout the
country. It is remarkable of this great
heavenly exhibition that it was observed
over the whole eastern portion of the
country as far south as Crllloden, in
Georgia, and also in Ohio and St. Louis,
Mo. At the North, as observed
particularly in New York. the exhibition
ceased after having been seen for an
hour, again appeared at half-past 7
and lasted more than half an hour, and
returned little before 9 o'clock in in
Vulnerable bright arches, shooting up
from the northern horizon, of the most
brilliant-colored light resting around the
horizon upon an obscure bank, all the
more dark and mysterious from the
vivid display above. At haf-past 10 all
this disappeared but after l there was
another return of the phenomenon, last
ing for more than an hour. At Staten
island, in New York harbor, the specta-
Gle is described as the most magnificent
ever beheld The illumination was so
great that the objects outside of Sandy
Hook were seen as clearly as at midday.
And the city Of New York appeared to
be only mile or two distant.-Chris-
fiH92 MT Work
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
Long Engagements.

A st. Louis young woman enters into
some interesting statistical and matri-
monial conjectures. She figures out
that she knows perhaps one hundred
young men, in round numbers. Of
these she thinks she knows about thirty
Intimately, and of these thirty there are
not more than four whom she would
consent to marry for love or money on
the spur of the moment. It may not be
a pleasant way of putting it, but what
she says is that, taking one hundred
young men as they come and 60, only
one out Of every twenty-five can be set
down as unobjectionable and able to
make living for himself and wife.
The St. Louis young lady goes on to
advise her sisterhood as sagely as though
she spoke from the pinnacle Of expert
ence. She tells them: CHOW that
you are being courted, you think, OF
course, it is all very well, and it will be
nicer when you get married. But it
won't. He thinks he's going to keep on
this high pitch Of love all the time. But
he won't. He doesn't know himself, and
you don't know him. It can't last. It
must cool down. When he sees you as
many times a day as he wants to, and
maybe more; when he sees your head
done up every morning regularly in curl
papers and the bloom is all off the rye;
when your home contains a good deal
of wash tub, cradle and cook stove, he
won't stand in front of the house for one
hour out in the cold, watching your
light in your window. He'll be think
ing rather of getting out of the house.
Young woman, protract this courtship
as long as you can. Let well enough
alone. A courtship in hand is worth
two marriages in the bush. Don't
marry till Christmas after next.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
Recipe for New England Pie.

To make this excellent breakfast dish
proceed as follows: Take suficiency
Of water and a suffciency of -four and
construct butter-dough. Work this
into the form of disk, with the edges
turned up some three-fourths of an inch.
Tougher and kiln-dry it a couple days
in mild but unvarying temperature.
Construct cover for this redoubt in the
same way and of the same material. Fill
with stewed dried apples; aggravate
with cloves, lemon-seed and slabs of
citron; add two portions of New Or
leans sugar then solder on the lid and
set in a place till it petrifes. Serve
cold at breakfast and invite your enemy.
Marie ZU0in.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19

The champion rat story Of the era is
told by the San Francisco Examiner.
It says: CA remarkable occurrence
lately took place on our northern
coast. A fore-and-aft schooner, while
lying in safe harbor, as was supposed,
and having no crew on board on account
of the safety of the position, was board
ed by rats in such numbers that they
ate away all her standing rigging, in
GLIDING head-stays, and also the jibs
foresai1, and mainsail. All were de-
stroyed beyond the possibility Of re-
pair"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19
"Jacob Miller, stand oop."

"Jacob Miller, stand oop."
"Jacob, vat vas your pishness in dat
oder worlds"
81 vas miller, o, Lort.''
"Vas you always a joost man, Jacob?"
"Vell, o Lort ven de water vas leetle
low and de plshness vas bad, I sometimes
dakes some leetle extra doles; but, 0,
Lort, I all de vile gives dose extra doles
to de poor
(After long pause Dwell, Jacob
Miller, you can 60 ofer NIT de sleeps :
but it vas Won tight saueezel'
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19

NIAGARA FALLS and Mt. Vesuvius are
now illuminated at night by electric
light.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-19

mOfuluS, 1 Iuluh, 1Or WIS u long Ulm0
about dressing. wore a white muslin
wrapper with flowers in my hair and at
my throat.
sThe whole family was assembled. ]
was presented to those whom I had not
met the evening before. After break
fast those who had work to do went
about it, while we who consulted our
own inclination fingered in the wide,
cool breakfast room. I took position
on window seat, overlooking the lawn.
[ had been there but moment when
Kenneth came up. IF you cannot
help me about the minerals, perhaps
you can about the flowers he said,
smiling, and indicating by slight mo-
ton of the hand that the flowers I wore
called forth the remark.
"'No, I fear not replied. L do
not take kindly to technicalities. I only
understand their beauty, which is, per-
haps, more than most botanists do
'sI was seated, he standing; he bentto-
ward me as he said. Perhaps, and yet,
botanist though I am, there is one kind
of beauty I do not fail to admire
"Icouldnot misunderstood theimplied
compliment, and blushed little under
his steady gaze.
"Milly came up the next instant, and
the conversation drifted away to indif-
ferent topics. I could see that Ken
neth's attentions to me were source of
displeasure to Milly. I had sort Of
pleasure in seeming to be unaware Of
her annoyance.
Chow uninterruptedly events will go
on, as if change would never come !;
then all at once, one scarcely knows how,
everything is changed, and is never
quite the same again.
81 had been five months at Deering
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30
PERSONAL AND POLITICAL.

The Boston Post hears that the Democra-
cy of Vermont will nominate L. j. Phelps,
the leading Burlington lawyer, for Cover
nor, and adds: ellis nomination would
hardly be equivalent to an election, but he
would make splendid rum
Letters received from Iowa state that Mr..
kasson, present Minister TO Austria, is
pretty certain to receive and will accept the
Republican nomination to Congress in the
district now presented by Gillette, the
Grcenbackcr.
President Hayes is reported TO have said
during the present week, in conversation
with political and personal friends, that his
survey of the situation convinced him that
neither the ex-President, Mr.. Blaine nor Mr..
Sherman would be nominated, but that it lay
probably between Mr.. Edmunds, Mr.. Wash
burne and Hamilton Fish Mr.. Hayes is one
OF the shrewdest politicians in the Republi-
can camp, and he has perhaps the best means
to form correct Judgment, for he is not a
candidate himself nor the friend of any of
the candidates, and men of all factions come
to him TO talk over the situation. His opin-
iOH, tucTclOTe, may DE COnSlucrcu at least as
valuable as anybody else's.- Washington Spe-
cidl to Mem York HraN
The Sherman men have carried Columbus,
Ohio. Meanwhile, the very name of the
Secretary all over the country outside of
Ohio throws a chill upon audiences and eau
cuses as profound as that which fell on the
negro congregation when the pastor preach
ed against chicken-stealing.- g.-Boston Irac-
eller
A personal friend who recently saw Mr..
Tilden at his own house in New York says
the stories about his physical condition are
true, and that it is only by extraordinary will
power that he is able to transact business
He has lost the control of one of his hands,
and the other one is partially paralyzed, but
not so much as to prevent him from signing
his name. Beyond signing his name he does
no writing whatever, and his immediate
family are greatly alarmed about the future.
Those who are brought into close contact
with him predict that he will not live an
other year, but that he will die from par
alytic stroke. His mental powers are unim-
paired, and he feels keenly the presence of
the disease which is going to prevent him
from entering into an active and vigorous
political campaign. Washington Special.
lido not say Grant could be elected, but we
could beat any other Republican easier than
we can him. - Err G0r. Hendricks Of In
dj1u0
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30
The Democratic SPLIT In New York.

The Tilden and Kelly factions are making
war to the knife. The bitter feeling of
Tammany toward Mr.. Tilden found expires
sion in the declaration of one of their speak
ers, Mr. John b. Haskin, when he said that
'the Democratic party did not want any
such money -grabber, railroad-wrecker, and
paralytic hypocrite at the helm of State"
The hatred thus expressed is fully shared by
the Tllden men. They made up the roll Of
the regular convention, and threw out
nearly eighty anti-Tilden delegates by a
more arbitrary exercise of power than has
ever before shown itself in any convention
Of either party. Most of these excluded
delegates have been uniformly faithful TO
the ''usages" of their party. But they
were against Tilden. That was the one
offence which could not be forgiven, and
they were thrust out. The fight is one
that cannot be closed, if Mr.. Tilden is nomi-
mated. Probably nearly third of the Dem
ocrats in the State of New York will either
withhold their votes or vote against him if he
is nominated. While Mr.. Tilden doubtless
has the power to carry the Cincinnati Con
vention, we do not believe that he has the
folly to permit himself to be nominated
there He will content himself with naming
the candidate-probably Randall. With any
one but Tilden at the head of the Democratic
ticket, We must expect to see the hostile fac
tions ioin hands for fight against their COM
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30
FIRST TIME AT CHURCH.

just three wears old and without Thought oi Ill
the rites and creeds; ;,. -, ,ho
Just three years old and UNCONSCIOUS Hu''e VI '"'
souls unbOunded needs;
Content il should draw what liie II ihlH I"ih tHe
food on which II feeds
Just three wears Old and brought TO church TO sit
in the narrow pew-
And wonder NJ al the mysteries that fise before Fer
The noiseless movement down the aisle :,he crowd,
and the faces new;
The organ that peals out magic strains though hid
den from the sight
The arches, and windows of pictured glass that
tow'r TO such height;
The eagle that bears the Bible up. the choir in Their
robes of white
To wonder and watch with childish awe that is
more than mere surprise.
That seems TO catch In the tones OF earth some
echo of the SKIES
And rejects itself in the tender face, in the SOL
emn, wide gray eyes,
out of whose cloudless, dewy depths giimriers the
earliest ray
OF the awak ming love, whose dawn heralds fuller
day,
When, though the shadows NAV darker lie, the
mlsis VIII melt away;
When the types shall md their anttypes, and the
mysteries be mad clear,
Though the deeper mysteries beyond will gather
more near,
disappear.
just three Years old and brought 10 church, though
she can take share
In the praises rising TO Gods high throne, In con-
fession or earnest prayr;
Brought but 10 learn the reverence due 10 the awful
presence there.
Just three years old with folded hands, she knees
when the others kneel;
And surely the blessing which falls on them may
also gently steal
Over the innocent baby head, bent down in mute
appeal.
-1r1ols
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30
NOTES AND NOTES.

The early robin has concluded that he took
OF his ulster too soon.
A Brussels mechanic makes buttons to be
dug from the field of Waterloo.
The New York World says that 'Tilden
and Rheumatism" would be good ticket.
Song of the oleomargarine men: In the
suet Buy and Buy
The report that the baby elephant was
born with valise instead of trunk is incorrect.
Wisdom for April-Never, never 20 out
without your.umbrella-or some other persons.
The Mining Superintendent's reply to the
stockholder: Thou troubest ME; am not i the
VEIN
Sitting Bull has presented his much-used
tomahawk to a Canadian missionary. and it has
been placed among the treasures of the college
museum at Ottawa. II George Washington had
done thusly with his haichet, II would have been
greatly to his credit.
The Appletons of New York sell million
copies of webster's Spelling Book annually, and
have done this for forty years. They have sold
eighty thousand copies of Beaconstelds ''Lothair."
lie 1intdnidrre asks, concerning the threat
ened expulsion of the Jesulrs, .'Pourquoi les Je-
suites sont-iis dssouss Parce qu'ils netaient pas
francS" Which Is as If one inierlocutor should say
''Not for dose Chesuits got such hard dimes 9: and
his fellow reply, 'Pecause dey dond got no cents.
Mr.. Courtneys wonderful invention in
rowing machinery. which Is To create such an ex-
citement his next appearance in public. probably
cannot be known from 4 hand-saw when the wind
Is southerly.-BOrid.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30
The Geneva Award.

The Geneva tribunal awarded the United
States SIS, 500, 900, which was promptly paid
by Great Britain. In 1874 Congress passed
an act providing for the distribution of this
fund to the persons who We're entitled to it
by reason of losses growing out of the de
predations of the Confederate cruisers. Tie
act created court of five commissioners,
who sat nearly three years, passed on over
1000 claims anu awarded judgments
amounting to s9,3l6, 100. The remainder
of the original fund, with accumulated inter
est, amounting to about so 900, 900. remains
for distribution. The subject has had pro-
longed discussion in the Senate On Mon
day Senator Carpenter concluded his argu-
ment in favor of the right of subrogation in
favor of the insurance companies
In response. Senator Blaine maintained
that the United States had never recognized
the doctrine of subrogatioE, and that to re-
tain the money in the treasury would be TO
confess that we had been awarded a claim
that had no foundation.
Mr.. Carpenter replied and sharp personal
encounter took place between him and Mr..
Blaine, from which neither won any very
great laurels Senator Edmunds made an
able legal argument, opposing both the claims
of the insurance companies and those of the
.'war-premium" men. Senator Edmunds
thinks the money belongs to the Government,
or rather to the whole people of the United
States. the demands of those who sustained
direct and actual losses by the ravages of the
Anglo-rebel cruisers having already been
satisfied that the money should lie left in
the Treasury for general use; and that cases
of special hardship, notably those OF the
owners of vessels destroyed by exculpated
cruisers. might, with justice, be relieved by
the Government without reference TO the
award On Wednesday the discussion came
to lame and impotent conclusion. Mr..
Hoar's amendment to the judiciary commit
tees bill, excluding insurance companies
from any chance at the money, was carried
by a vote of two to one, and then the whole
matter was laid on the table, which disposes
of it for this Congress.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30
SPRINGTIDE.

Hail 10 thee, splrItbrighi
Changing the clouds to light,
WInnow the ar with thy gussamer wing
over the naked earth
Call the new flowers forth,
Love, light, and melody-beautlful SpIinyi
Blossoms shall welcome thee
BrOoklet, aud bird, and tree
All the sweet voices OF Nature proclaim,
over the earth and sea,
Welcome and jubilee,
Frightening thy footsteps and blessing thy name.
Softly thy yellow light
Falls on the woodlands bright,
Flushing with gold ev'ry dclicate spray
Dartlng bright gances where
Song g-thrushes WOO and pair,
Under the green cover, hiding away
Warbling and wooing still,
While the young leaflets thrill,
Bathed In chrystaline wayeets OF song:
Shimmering flowers look
Forth from each mossy nook,
Watching the JOYOUS brook wand'ring along.
Ginning chorus sweet,
Timing with twnklng feet,
Rolling and racing. like childhood ai play
Deep in The fragrant gloom
Under the orchard bloom.
Drowsily singing its quaint ioundelay.
Season OF Joy, once more
Dawn on our island shore
Healing and hope with Thy bright presence Gring
over the earth and sea
Welcome and jubilee,
II all to thee beautiful spirit Of SPRING.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-04-30

The New York World, which is the best
Democratic paper in the country, says of the
Syracuse convention:
The action of the convention has certainly
not advanced the Democratic party towards
victory in November next, for while 1t has
thrown new obstacles in the way of the selec-
tion Of any candidate at Cincinnati upon
whom the Democrats of New York can and
will unite their votes, it has seriously widen
cd the breach between the Democratic ma
chine of the State and the masses of Demo
cratic voters. 1t has not helped the Demo
cratic party towards making up issues on
which, in November next, the support of the
great independent floating vote Of the coun-
try can be successfully solicited, for while it
has beltlled ''the great fraud of 1876, by
urging it mainly as wrong done to "a dis
tingushed citizen of New York." it has
armed the benetlciarics of that great fraud
with fatal weapons by the scandalous
methods through which the convention was
organized and administered