The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-12-18
SLIGHT InD1sposrrIoH.
Mr.. speop,ndyke at the Mercy Of PfIil
and Fruit.
From the Brookly Eagle. !

from the Brookly Eagle
That's better groaned Mr.. Spoopendyke,
as his wife arranged the cool pillows under his
head; ssnow can die looking out upon the
trees and sky, and Mr.. Spoopendyke assumed
resigned expression Of yisage and gazed out
Of the corner Of his eye upon q bare allanthus
tree and half dozen telegraph wires.
ss0hl you won die, said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
cheerfuily. you're only q little sick, and
you'll get over it."
That's all you know about it. snarled Mr..
Spoopendyke. ITO hesr you talk one would
think that you had to be fitted up with little
beds and bad smell to be government hos
pitai. I'm down sick, tell ye, and don't
want any foolin' about it.
"Weii WE'LL" eooed Mrs. Spoependyke,
don't excite yourself. Keep quiet S;sst you'll
get well.'
much you'd care,'' muttered Mr.. spoopen-
dyke, turning on his side and resting his cheek
on his hand, an attitude generally assumed
by martyred spirits on the approach OF disso-
luton.
s.Will you take your drops again, dear q
asked Mrs Spoopendyke; it's time for them. !"
mo won't; they're nasty. / havn't had
anything but drops for week. From the way
you administer drops one would think you was
the trap-door or hanging machine. Gimme
some figs"
but there amt any figs, dear. I'll GO
and get you some.' said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
s'That's it," growled her husband. ''You
only want an excuse to leave me TO die alone.
| Why havn't ye got some figs You might know
I'd want figs. Got any citron?'
"No, havn't any citron; but won't be
more than minute away, and I'll get you any
fruit you want"
80 yes; you'd get it. / have no doubt. What
you want is a rail fence around, and a gate off
the hinges to be dodgasted orchard. Fetch
me some strawberries.
s.Why, strawberries are out Of season. There
amt any in the market now
Il supposed you'd say that" moaned Mr..
Spoopendyke. you've alwas got some ex-
cuse. II should die. you'd have an apology
ready. Gimme something TO take this taste out
OF my mouth
.'What would you like. dear2'' asked Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
Soap dod case it! Gimme soap il you
can't think of anything else" demanded Mr..
Spoopendyke. "Mebbe you amt got any soap.
At least you wouldn't have if I wanted 1t. Got
any eherriesf"
mo. they are out of season. There are some
grapes in the closet"
Don't want any measly grapes. II / can't
have what I want, don't want it. Where's
those dropsr Why don't you give me my med
icine? Going to let me die for the want Of a
little attention? Want the life insurance, don t
ye9 Going to gimme those drops before the
next election ?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke ladled out the dose, half of
which won't down Mr.. Spookendyke's gulIet and
half over the front of his night shirt
That's it, he howled. s'Spill EN-. They
for external application. Put EN- anywhere.
Pour em up the chimney and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke fired the spoon across the room.
"Have piece of orange to take the taste
away?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, pleasantly.
mo, won't" objected her spouse. Gimme
piece OF muskmelon.''
II don't believe they have muskmelons in
November. sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Of course they don't" responded Mr.. Spoop-
endyke. sThey don't have anything when I'm
sick It's a wonder they have houses. It's u
miracle they have beds. I'm astonished to think
they have doctors and drug stores. I've got to
hurry up and die, or they won't have any I'M
dertakers, or collins, graves. Gin me piece
OF orange, will ye? Spose I'm going to lay
here and chaw on those drops for month";"
.'You'd like those grapes, suggested his wife.
"No, wouldn't either. What do you want
me to eat 'en for? Got any interest in the
grape trader Get any commission on those
grapes? Anybody pay ye to make me 'em ?
One would think you only wanted an iron arbor
and four small boys climbing over you to be a
grape vine. Where's my pill?"
.'You took your pill, dear" replied his pa
tient wife.
''Oh, Of course ! A pill is out of season now
Can't even have pill when feel like il" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke groaned in spirit and looked
dismal. SNOW, sit down and don't move
want to sleep. Don't you make bit of noise
If you want me to live"
And Mrs. Spoopendyke held her breath and
never rustled feather while her husband lay
and glared out Of the window for an hour and a
half