The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-06-26

a OOIuk hldu III II SOuIb SlIStt odtOOu
rose up and said he was going West because
Boston was 60 dead that a man couldn't even
get chance TO fight here It took three po-
licemen to get enough of him out of doors to
be worth taking to a doctor as a foundation
on which to build a human being He will,
on recovery, go West in search of peace and
quiet
"A clergyman asEed his Sunday school
scholars: "With what remarkable weapon
did Samson at one time slay number Of
Phlistines?' For awhile there was no an
swer, and the clergyman, to assist the chill
dren little, commenced tapping his Jazz
with the tip of his finger, at the same time
saying, whats this? what's ths?" Quick
as thought little fellow replied "The jaw
bone of an ass, sir!'
The clergyman was a very young man,
and had never before held baby. The in
FAINT was big boy, who began 10 cork
screw" his way through clothes and wrap
pings. The minister held on bravely, but
IN few moments the child's face disappeared
in the wraps and his dangling legs were
wormng their way to the floor. Seized with
a horrible impression, he clutched the clothes
violently by the sash band, and strsddling
the child upon the chance- rail, said to the
mother; "If you don't ho.6 that baby,
shall have nothing left Tut the dress to bap-
tize" He was at once relieved.
"A pair of slippers Two cells.
Expect nothing from him who promises
great deal.
When a man attains the age of 90, he
may be termed XC-dinRly DID,
Why is the world like music? Because
it is full Of sharps and flats.
Cotton seed oil is one of the staples Of
the United States. No country produces Il
but ourselves. Last year about 100000
gallons were made.
There is spasmodic newspaper, pub
lished in Maine, which has got to be tri-
weekly. It comes out one Wees aid tfiesto
come out the next.
Tho man who thinks it foolish to re-
ward his wfos devotion with kind words
and caresses, is the one who wonders why it
is that women sometimes so wrong.
Feed is so scarce in Kansas that thous-
ands of cattle have had to be killed to pre-
vent their dying" says western paper.
We don't believe that even thas toorso pre-
vented it.
1t is time-honored custom in Quincy,
Florida, to salute newly married couple
by firing a cannon This is to remind those
present that the battle oflife has fairly bsgup.
When the census-iaker, Wishing To com
pliment, said to citizen: "Ah, sir, you've
a wife of a hundredr The lady grabbed q
rolling pin and sailed in on him, yelling:
"You william, told you was only IS. Don't
you dare TO put it down as 100"
OF course a woman can't afford TO be
unfashionable, but it is mighty rough on a
lady just as she has become devotedly at
tached to a short haired dog, 70 have tho
fashion change and long haired dogs become
the correct thing. There is no way 10 mako
short haired canine grow shaggy, so what's
woman to do. ......
"A whole church full of women were al
most dying with envy the other day, at
Bridgeport, Conn. Ono Of the female mem
bers came IN with two hats on her head,
having forgotten that she had put one o.,
and donned another. The rest thought iL
was the latest fashion, and wers a. mad as
hops because they hadn't bropgA gheirs. 4.
1. is said that an astosishsng number II
the male clerks in the departments at Wasli-
ington arc entirely dependent on the,c
places 5ra living Among the clerks ara
sixty one Alumni of Yale, thiriy-one n
Princeton aud thirty of Dartmouth. besid,a
J a large but uuascertainable number lRsi4
other colleges