Smyrna times., 1880-04-14
The Hip Pocket.
GOOD REASON WHY MIR. wITHERs TOOK TIE
CHAIR HOME WITH HIM


" nat IS known among taiiors as the chin
poCNSt - exclusively il characteristic of
the American species Of man
I
Mr. Wlthers is not western man md i.
wholly unacquainted with whisky: bur his
recent experience of the incompatIl,iljtv of
hlP'pocket and glass bottles was very rain.
iu! ana embarrassing. He had returned 10
MS Orange county home from brief vjSjt
10 New York, and had brought with him
as present for Miss WIlsOn-to wtom L,.
was betfothed-a bottle of that remarkable
cement which Is sold 10y sidewalk merchants
an" winch Is by then Represented az bcjDv
fhuch stronger than wrought irGn. 1t had
occurred TO hlm that thIs cement would be
very nice thing to have in his future
mouse since with 1t all sorts Of broken china
ana SiasS could be mendcd, and every ono
knows that children will break a great deal
OF emma. On the evening of his arrival
nome he put the cement bottle in Lis hin,
pocket and called on Miss Wilson, intend.
lag TO offer 1t to her as soon as he oatered
the house.
Mr.. NIthers was aIdcntly attached to the
young lady, and when he saw her before him
he not unnaturally forgot all abeu, sucl,
merely earthly matters as cement. The oId
people welcomed him politely, and. after
lew moments Of conversation. Withdraw
with discretion which it is to be wished
that all old people would emulate. Bpjno
OF a frugal mind and knowing that the mar.
chul young man should be lnsrclful 10 hi,
intended iatherin- iw in paint of kerosene
bills, Mr.. Wlthers promptly turned down
the lamp and proceeded to make hirnsolCat
home.
Inc bottle was stout one, and would
PERHAPS have wlthStnoi any ordinary pres,
sure, but as sMiss Wilson weighed fuily one
hundred and forty pounds. ana as the back
OF the smai! ing-ch:ul was Of nard woeI.
II Is not strange trtt lAr haIt.r welded
Nj. "IthprS was So rid"n interested in the.
weather and other Subjects such as USUALLY
ABSORB the attention OF Young men i'm hi.
position, that lac did not notice the break.
lh& oi IN" glass. ANA It was not until AN hour
later, that "a false alarm of father in the
front hall lnduced Miss Wilson TO flee to
the sofa, and suggested to Mr. Withers the
advlHabllltV of turning up the lanp.
The cement had done its work, and Mr.
Wlthers did not get up to attend to the !isht.
but requested tie young lady to discharge
this duty for him. she dii 50, and then
h"uccd his panied and preotcupied expres
a Il
that he tSlt a little faint uHd wou.,i Ike
glass "f water. Miss wilson hurrlp,ily went
Tor tAe water, reproaching herself for being
50 heavy, and accusing herself of selfi.hness
and want of consideration. In her absence
the young man made superhuman efforts to
wrench himself loose, but the cement
refused to yield. When Miss Wilson r..
turned with the glass of water, he looked 80
much worse that she was really frightened
and he was compelled to tell her the real
state of the case.
She was a practical person, and she
promptly proposed TO get tea kettle of hot
water and dissolve the cement, but desisteI
when he explained to her that his system
would not bear the application Of water at
boiling point. She then timidly suggested
that Il she were t. ,a' pa, perhaps VA
might lend you pair; = Tat Mr.. Withers
SAID no; ha could not bear the modification
OF being found in such a situation by any
father. 1t was finally agreed that he should
wait until late hour, and should then
take the chair home with him. This was
accordingly done, and had not the unfor.
tunate young man been arrPssed by a local
constable, who only discharged him, when
severe test proved that his possession OF
the chair was purely involutary, his rais.
fortune might never have become generally
known. When disasters such as this are
liable to happen to the wearers of hip
pockets it becomes doubtful whether they
are not altogether too hazardous for general
use. In fact. good authorities maintain that
the hip-pocket is positively detrimental,
and that an earnest and united effort should
be made to secure its exiirpation.-Nc
York Times