Smyrna times., 1880-09-22
An Awful Night
MRS. MCwILLIAMs AND THE LIGHTNING.
GY MARX TWAIN.


We'll, sir--continued Mr. McWilliams,
for this was not the beginning of his talk,
the fear of lightning is one of the most
distressing infirmities q human being can
be afflicted with. 1t is mostly confined to
women; but now and then you find it in
q little dog, and sometimes in man. 1t
is particularly distressing infirmity, for
the reason that it takes the sand out of a
person to an extent which no other fear
can, and it can't be reasoned with, and
neither can it be shamed out of a person.
A woman who could face the very devil
himself-or amuse-loses her grip and goes
all to pieces in front of flash of lightning.
Her fright is something pitiful to see.
Well, as l was telling you, l woke up,
with that smothered and unbeatable cry
of Mortimer Mortimer!" wailing in my
ears; and as soon as l could scrape my
faculties together l reached over in the
dark and then said
Evangeline, is that you calling? What
is the matter? Where are you?
"Shut up in the boot closet. You ought
to be ashamed to lie there and sleep so,
and such an awful storm going on
"Why how can one be ashamed when he
is asleep? 1t is unreasonable; man can't
be ashamed when he is asleep, Evange-
line.'
"You never try, Mortimer; you know
very well you never try"
l caught the sound of nuffled sobs.
That sound smote dead the sharp speech
that was on my lips, and changed it to,
"I'm sorry, dear-I'm truly sorry.
never meant to act so. Come back and"-
Mortimerl"
"HeavensI what is the matter, my
lover"
"Do you mean to say you are in that bee
YETI"
"Why, of course"
Como out of il instantly. should thinl
you would take some little care of you
life, for my sake and the children's, if yol
will not for your own."
Z" But my love-
"Don't talk to me, Mortimer. Yol
know there is no place SO dangerous as
bed, in such thunder storm as this-al
the books say that; yet there you woul'
lie, and deliberately throw away your life
for goodness knows what, unless for tn
sake of arguing, and arguing, and'-
"But, confound it, Evangeline, Pm no
in the bed now. I'm"-
Sentence interrupted by sudden glar
of lightning, followed by terrified littl
scream from Mrs. McWilliams and tr
mendous blast of thunder
"There! You see the result. Oh, Mort
mer, how can you be so proAigate as
Z swear at such time as this?"
81 didn't swear. And that wasn't a r
suit of it, any way. 1t would have com
just the same, if hadn't said a word ar
you know very well, Evangeline, at lea
u you ought to know
"OL, yes, now argue it, and argue it, al
argue it | don't see how you can act 6
when you know there is not lightnil
rod on the place, and your poor wife al
children are absolutely at the mercy
Providence. What are you doing? ligl
ing a match at such time as this A
you stark mad?'
"Hang it, woman, where's the harm
The place is as dark as the inside of an
fidel, and"-
No "Put it outl put it out instantly A
you determined to sacrifice us all? Y
y know there is nothing attracts lightni
like a light. FstI crash boom-boloO
boom.boom j Oh, just hear it Now y
8 see what you've doneI"
"No, don't see what I've done.
I, match may attract lightning, for all kn'
but it don't cause lightning-I1l 60 OF
on that. And it didn't attract it worth
cent this time; for il that shot was leve
at my match, it was blessed poor mar
/. manship--about an average of none out
possible million, should say. Why,
Dollymount, such craftsmanship as that
"For shame, Mortimerl Here we
~ standing right in the very presence
=. death, and yet in so solemn moment
.-iv are capable of using such language as Il
80 IL you have no desire to--Mortimer7"
- mWell2"
"Did yousay your prayers tonightF
"I-I-meant to, but got TO tryin
cipher out how much twelve times thiri
med. is, and"
" 70 om.beroom.boomi bum
'el. bang-smash j
"oh, we are lost, beyond all help