Mower County transcript. [volume] (Lansing, Minn.) 1868-1915, 1880-02-05
FUNNYGRAPHs.

GONN OnNTU
ACIDS and pickles are usually the con-
tents of the family jar.
MORE men brake in the railroad busi-
ness than in any other.
WHY is a certain vegetable like pater-
familias taking his tonic? It's paris nip.
a TORNADO is great blow to any coun-
try.-Phitadelaolsiu Chronicle.
SPoR1sMEN never object to banging
hare.
THIS is what might be called All open
winter-open to criticism Kansas C1ty
Times.
NOWADAYS, says the Philadelphia Bul-
letin, rolling mill gathers no mortgage.
SP1cER sayshis collar button is like the
celebration of the Fourth of July-it is
sure to come off.
PETER GOELET was under the doctors
care, and died. The grateful heirs
have just presented the doctor with $25-
600.
The Gin cinnati Gazette thinks women
will not know what to do with the bal
lot, as it is not long enough for belt
and not big enough for hustle.
PROFESSOR in Physiology-"What is
the first power developed by man %
Senior (somewhat mixed) y" Well-I-
well-I suppose the power to Creep"
Senior sits down amid wild applause.
IT is called leap year because every
time it comes around there are a couple
of thousand presidential candidates hop
ping around the country.
Courier.
ONE Of the inexpGcable phenomena Of
nature is the effect of emptying of pan
Of ashes has in suddenly reversing the
direction of the ewind-NeaUark S131day
Gail.
A DEBATING society at Edenville is
about to discuss the question, els
wealth preferable to knowledge?" It
depends altogether upon how much
money the girl has got
We never realized the depth of human
total depravity till an old soak looked
over the exchanges the other day, and
wished he was double-headed lamb, so
he could be placed in alcohol.
You promised to pay that bill yes
terday," said an angry creditor to debt
or. EYES," calmly replied the other,
"but to err is human, to forget, divine,
and forgot it. Oil city Derrick.
"How is your wife, Mr.. S. ?" Says
S., pointing to where his wife sat in the
next room at work on his coat, "She's
sew-sew." Mr.. j." Oh, I see; she's
mending, sure enough. "-Bostoa Post.
The question is continually being
asked, "What shall we do with our
boys?" The people know what to do
with their boys, but the trouble appears
to be that the boys won't let them do it.
-D0nielsonville Sentinel.
AN old lady, after long life Of OBJ
servation, remarked that "she had
always noticed that in the summer time,
when it is not needed, the sun is always
as hot as an oven, when in the winter,
when warm sun would be very agreeable,
it is as cold as an ice-house.
The Kingston Freeman remarks that
when it sees clergyman kissing the
male members of his flock as well as the
female, the tobacco-chewing, pipe
ing, beer drinking old sinners, as well as
the young and pretty ones, it will begin
to believe that his heart is in his work.
The roaming correspondent of the
Burlington Hnavkeye tells pleasant
story Of sef-sacrifcing traveller who
devoted his energies to the work of de-
vorrang everything upon certain rail-
way station dning-counter, and having
at length accomplished the feat walked
away, saying: "There! The next fell
low that comes along here will get some-
thing fresh -
AcRosT1C.
Mixture malicious,
In no wise nutrcious;
Nux vomioa's votary,
Circumlocutory,
Erst meretricous.
| Proud peregrinator,
! Immense agitator,
| Ever pcrniciousI
-HGcEenSdck Republican.