The Hartford herald. [volume] (Hartford, Ky.) 1875-1926, 1880-01-14
Facts and fan~ses-
Chicago has IL .Oso street lights.

Chicago has II .080 street lights. .'.''
A rich mans son lives on his pap,
All blacksmiths have at least one
vice ' -.-nn'tiii.'.'l f''ii-.'f
Can there be bakers dozen Of ieav-
ened bread? li.-l,et slii = 2 aiI.ltli %
Opportunity gives u the clue and en-
ergy with the lucrative reward.
When a man Is in q brown study does
he give color to his thoughts?
When a greer retires from business
he weighs less than he did before.
"Are you a wall fiower?'' he asked.
And she replied, "No, am n wall, sir. "
Then they waltzed. -a-
There Is something in store for us all,
but it takes money tn persuade the
doerk to hand it out. -s..r
We saw a girl the other day who was
just as pretty as she could be !" bat,
poor thing, she couldn't be very pretty.
The difference between barber and
a sculptor is very slight. The one curls
up and dies, the other makes faces and
busts- f-. Ur OH .l.....,s
III viii draw the line at beer said Q
topper to temperance man. "Yes, but
you'll spell it with an j." was the re-
Spouse.
1--WE consider puns like human be-
ings," says the Pcdpsae. The aflec-
ton IS reciprocated- You'll find lots Of
human beings like puns. af
"Your intended Is hideous," says y
frank French friend TRUE" says the
fdneee, "but II you only knew how
they noticed me when he's along"
Professor Proctor declares that the
earth Is still i'm youth. The Cincinnati
Gazette says this Is why the giddy
thing runs around so much o. nights.
The woman who Is exceedingly sweet
to ones face and Is very bitter behind
ones back, may be said to bear false
sweetness against her neighbor.
A drunken man at Fort Worth,
Texas, entered n circus and pafted the
big lion ON the head. The arm he has
left will do to turn n hand organ
nPa, what does the printer live ons'
"Why, my ehild?" Because i heard
you say you had not paid him for six
years, and you still take the paper"
A doctor went out for days hunt
ing, and ON coming home complained
that he hadn't killed anything. That's
because you didn't attend tn your legit-
innate business, said his wife.
All the toys used to come from Eu-
rope. Now American jumping-jsck
and wooden horses are sold i'm every
country where the children don't have
10 play with their big toes to have fun
So many societies for the promotion
of things are established, that Johnnie
wants to know why somebody doesn't
get up a society for the promotion Of
boys IN schools without making them
study so.
Mr.. W. W. Coreoran, Of Washington,
is the pOssessor OF the beautiful Sevres
dessert service which was once owned
and used by George Washington 10 h
supposed that Mr.. C0rcoran viii present
it to the art gallery he has founded.
Newspaper advertising may be COM
pared to vigilant and watehful sales
man, who not only invites business re-
lations, but goes after the public, into
the private walks and ways, and COM
pels ii to be attentive i'm spite Of itself
Ex-Governor Hubbard has refused
the customary present from the Con-
necticut legislature, writing to the
speaker: "As a citizen Of Connecticut,
give you all thanks, and hope the ex-
ample will break up forever the system
of gift-making and gift-taking in the
legislature"
The trial at Versailles, Ind, Of Rev.
Father Dovenhoffer, Of the Morris
Catholic church, for severely whipping
three boys, his pupils, for attending as
pall-bearers the funeral Of q Protestant
boy, ended in a Judgment against him
in one case for SIS and in another for
SIS and costs, which amounted to over
500. 20. F. r...-f ,f,.,- -.... .. .-.ft.l
''It is 50 hard to be widow" cried
French lady who had just lost her hus-
band. Wednesday Is my reception
day, and generally have great many
calls, but yesterday 1 was compelled to
keep my room and weep all the time.
"Ah," was the reply, "don't say any
thing against widowhood- myself
have just married widow, and the
clothes Of her first husband fit me like
a glove" - ......'