New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-02-25
VARIETY AND HuuoR,

VARIETY AND HUNOR.
-Woman's inhumanity to man b
what keeps the broom market steady.
Some one said that continued cheer
fulness is the most manifest sign Of wis
dom.
"A hen IS model for dancers. Sas
never leaves her set except to eat and
drink.
"A person who uses perfumcd note
paper IL not always . soentosi5le
writer.
The two honey-bees that first wont
into the ark lodged in the archives
Exchange.
Liquor is . reel comfort 10 the man
who has the habit of getting drunk
N. O. hcayunc.
Thousands of women have painful
" observed that marriage means fewer
excursions and less ice cream.
1t is possible to have IN sys -
business without sticking your nose int
other peoples affairs.-N. +. Ge.ss.
Tho man who does not know biz
own mind, should sit down and sorapo
up an acquaintance with shs Little
thing.
The latest estimate of practical sta
tisticians is that there are in the United
States 35,000,OO0 cattle valued at g.
02O. 900, 900.
The Kansas Farmer says that q
million of dollars would not nav for
the loss in butter and milk in bad
management and lack of proper dairy
c0nveniences in the State OF Kansas
alone. in single year.
PENNSYLVANIA is reported to have
suffered to the extent of $500, 900 from
pleuro-pneumonia since its entrance in
to the State, and it was confined prin.
cipally to the counties of Philadelphia,
Bucks. Chester. Delaware and Mont
gomerv.
1t rather disturbs the unities for .
lover to hear his girl talk about ETHEREAL
lied friendship. the gossamer wings of
love, the thin and permeable texture of
affection, and that sort of thing, and
then see her sit down and eat q big
piece of roast beef. four biscuits and an
apple pie.-Steubes:ville Herald.
-Agncultur,sts ars losing faitA n
tho Old Farmers Almanac. 1t genar-
ally steers . State Fair right into ths
middle Of rainy week.-hiooy.ne.
I'm South Carolina there il statute
20 the effect that all persons "hsvin1
no reasonable or lawful excuse" shaQ
resort to some religious meeting svs9y
Sunday.
An Indiana medical student woars
. pair of shoes made Of human skin.
How aptly does Hamlet exclaim: "To
what base shoeses may We como. ~
O. Times.
When President Elliott receives tho
new Chinese teacher at Harvard he win
quote from Sidney Smith AID address
him in Latin. TIL doces-" Thow 10
chest. "-Fhslade!phia Ballet;n.
Farmers are just now laying Il
their winters fuel, and the more
grown-up daughters the bigger the
wood-pile. Allowance must be made
for sparks.-Middleso,on Transcript.
-"Tom," said a girl to her sweeA
heart. "you have been paying your
distresses to me long enoug Oh. 1t y
time you made known your contentious.
80 as not to keep me ia expense 40
longer.
"A Dutchman, the proprietor q q
Colorado line of stages. was collecting
two dollar piece from the passenxess,
BY way of fare. All had paid sxosp6
one, and no, drawing . large revolver.
pointed it 1T the head Of the collector
and hoarsely asked: won't that pass
ne!" Perfectly unmoved tho Dutch.
man said: "Oh! no; we eats dem tinaD
here. Two tollars, please"
They were talking about the weighA
q different individuals in acertain fam.
lily, and the daughters young man. whe
was present, spoke up before ho
thought, and said, II toll you that JON
ME amt so very light, either, although
she looks So" And then he looked
suddenly conscious, and blushed, and
Jennie became absorbed in studying
chrome on the wau.-Syrocuse a.
~ Herald.
"A correspondent II tho Troy TIMES
gives the following explanation of the
origin of "hurra6:" Hip, hip hur.
rah was originally war-cry adopted By
the assailants of German city, in
which many Jews had taken refuge.
The place was taken, and they wore all
put to the sword. amid shouts of Heiro-
solyma est perdita! and from the first
letters of those words an exclamation
was contrived."
"A colored man was once asked WIN
he did not get married. "Why, YOU
see, sah, said he, II got an old mud
der, an hab to do for her, We SEQ,
sab, an if don't buy her shoes an
stockin's an bread an butter she
wouldn't get none. Now. eff I was to
get married, would hab to buy dom
tings for my wife, an dat would be
takin' de shoes an stockin's an bread
an butter right out o. my mudder's
mouf."
a little five-ycar-old daughter Of
DR.. Pickens Taylor, of Georgia, was
taken down with spell of intermit-
tent. 1t became necessary to admin
lister quinine, which he did, in the form
OF small capsules. In order to induce
her to take them he told her that they
were little humming-birds' eggs, and
VCIC sCAy ulCc zl w men the QOlnllO
had taken effect, she told her father.
with great glee, that the little birds had
Matched and were singing in her head.
-Ha,per's Magazine.
Texas is anxious that our Extratsi-
zion Treaty with Mexico should be over
hauled. AS it stands, Mexican can
not be extradited for crimes committed
in Texas, nor Texan for crimes n
Mexico, and just now the Texans are
mad because they cannot get hold q
Pedro Garcia, who killed the Bracket
(Iex. Deputy Sheriff who was taking
him to Jail, and 1ed across the RE
Grande. The Mexican authorities
arrested the man and put him in Jail q
Piedras Negras, but, as he was Mex
lean, Judge Soda refused to surrender
him, and hence the Texan outcry.
though they cannot blame the Next
cans, AZ Governor Hubbard refused =