Litchfield enquirer., 1880-01-22
CLIPPINGS.


 An exchange wants to know if women will ever be subdued. Yes, their necks are already in the double yoke
 Tight-lacing should be encouraged in every rossible way. It kills off foolish girls and leaves the sensible ones .s r Notwithstanding all the ''swcarng off" on the first day of the year, the sale of cloves is as large as ever
 Democratic party to Garcelon-"Stick p Garcelon to Democratic party-''Stuck !' A poor man was run over by city omnibus and the coroner's jury brought in the technical verdict-Stage struck. .s5E
 The small boy never wishes he was twins except when two different Sunday school Christmas trees are being held the same eve ming.
 Many ten re ate young men now bitterly regret that tLey have thrown away twenty dcllars worth of beer tickets on a suit of win ter clothes.
 Logic: sailor is not a sailor when he is board; sailor IS not a sailor when he is shore but he must be either ashore or aboard therefore sailor is not sailor
 think of thee dear William,
 And long to hear from you; Send me missive, won't you. please,
 Oh, come now, billet dOup.
 Prosessor: 'Can you multiply concrete numbers together !" The class are uncertain. Professor: "What will be the product of five apples multiplied by six potatoes ?" Pupil (tri- 1 umphantly): Hash"
 A Danbury man can kick eleven inches higher than his head Should the next year prove good one for fruit he hopes to make | considerable money in travelling through the state and kicking boys out of trees. When a certain ignorant justice of the peace had his attention called to the particu- lar section of the law that hatly contradicted 1 his decision, he replied that he had always disagreed with the revised statutes in that 1 particular. fz .
 Information Wanted-If milk is water. chalk. sheep's stomach and few other exotics, and if butter is made of leaf lard and fatty | pork, what in the name of nature are our cows dolng' How are they putting in their time? It is said that $7O stockings are shown in | Chicago, and this leads us to remark-that is, we're forced to believe-that the average Chi cago anatomy has wonderful area, or else
 
 1 that makes them cost.
 "Now, Johnny, you've had merry Christ mas, and you must be good till next Christ mas to pay for for it. ''Oh yes: of course, be good! don't b'lieve you can hire me to be good for year for tin horse and story book just like what Bil; Jones was going to trade me for three marbles. Not much
 Last nights mail brought poem beginning: |:
 Why doth my Julia hide her face 1 Within her kerchief white? l What sorrow doth the tear drops send
 To dim her eyes' calm light? Of course we can't decide thls question until after writing to Julia, but the chances are that she is going to sneeze. -...F
 And now eggs are being counterfeited, and the manufacture of the bogus fruit carried on extensively. In appearance it resembles the natural egg and de6es detection. The only way by which the hens can protect themselves against this infringement of their patent is for each one to have private trake mark and label every egg 'none genuine unless bearing our stamp and signature" a,--~e | They were talking about funerals, and one lady said to the other, 1T don't like to 20 to funerals" "You don'tl" was the astonished rejoinder. "Oh! I like to go!" Like te go! I'm surprised at you" 'tWen," replied the other, ''you evidently don't care much fol music. 1 like to go to funerals to hear the music. think the Dead March of St. Paul is one of the grandest efforts of that great com, poser! !" 5i8
 Repentance-Teacher (who is trying to ex. plain the meaning of repentance) Suppose bad boy were to steal au orange, and his good mother should catch him with it. and take him by the hand gently. and tell him how wicked it is, and how very. very grieved she was, don't you think now that the little boy ought tn feel sorry" Sunday scholar: "Yes. sum-" Teacher: "And why, Marmaduke? ?? a Sunday scholar: .'Because---" Teacher : "Because what, Marmy?" Sunday scholar : ''Cause he hain't ct the or'nge befo' his ma cotch him and tuck it away fun him p