The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1880-06-09
MTRTHFUL MELANGE.
dead language-Cold tongue.

/ uue tuOtVo VI thC Hou 10 w osSohois
! A man may be right and yet be
left.
There are troops at the poles catching
fish.
The man who hesitates is often lost
for words.
Dumb-belle exercises Talking with
deaf and dumb girl.
Many think they were called at Chica-
go, butone was chosen.
1t is more dangerous to tread on
Hnicern than any other kind.
Authors are spoken of as dwelling IN
attics, because so few Of them are able to
live on their first story.
Jeenas makes his wife chop the stove
wood, ON the ground that when she mar
ried him she promised to cleaNe.
Jones' saws he used to have red cheeks,
but had bad cold some years ago, when
he blew all the celor into his nose.
A sermon can be too short. 1t sheald
be long enough for the women to take
mental notes of all the new styles out.
An English firm sold eight thousand
fire. proof safes in Turkey before it was
ascertained that the filling was only saw
dust.
The Leadvilie Chronicle tells of man
who escaped with his life from the Indi-
ans. The man who escaped without his
life hasn't yet been reported.
A bolt of lightning killed eleven hogs
in Virginia and never even shocked three
men who were near by playing cards for
the ownership Of blind mule.
The soldiers of the Turkish army have
not been paid cent for fourteen months.
They could not be worse treated if they
were nothing but scnool teachers.
1t is only the female mosquito that
bites, but when man gets chance to
belt one with towel, he's going to do it
without stopping to inquire as to its gen.
der.
They charge fifteen cents for a drink
of buttermilk at Key West, but as sort
of offset they fling the customer four
dozen oranges and tell him to send a
dray after his bananas.
A Washington correspondent writes
that both Rhode Island Senators care
single men and childless" In view of
the fact that they are single, their being
childless is grand idea.
A contemporary prints poem called
"Gather ripe fruits, 0 Death" And
that would be best. It is 80 now that
the small boy gathers the fruits before
they are ripe, and 0 Death gathers the
small boy.
A painter to his maid servant: "Mal-
heureuse, the porter has carried away
my picture to the salon. 1t wasn't yet
finishedp "Monsieur may rest easy as
to that We gave it few little strokes
of the brush before sending itI'
Nevada papers calmly tell of powders
weighing seven tons flying through the
air like feathers as tornado gets in its
work. 1t is rather curious that Nevada
liars, weighing less than two hundred
pounds, are never moved off their feet.
"What are the people doingT exclaims
an excited cotemporary. Well, some are
paying ten cents on the dollar, others are
announcing the mselves as Presidential
candidates, some walking six days for a
share of the gate-money, a few predicting
heavy frosts in June, and
The latest rage among young ladies is
to possess an old-fashioned spinning-wheel
for a parlor ornament. The desire to
possess an old-fashioned wash-board and
tub as a kitchen ornament doesn't rage
much among young ladies. They are
about as handsome as the spinning wheel,
but they are not fashionable.
Professional pomposity is well taken
off in the following anecdote: Shields
doctor, Cooking learned and speaking
slowly "Well, mariner, which tooth do
you want extracted? Is it the molar OF
incisor? Jack (short and sharp j.
in the upper tier, on the larboard side
Bear a hand, you swab, for it is nippine
my jaw like lobsterp ...... ~
3 A guest was eating more butter thar
biscuit, while the landlady looked or
and fidgeted and limited until she fairly
{ went into a nervous fit. Finally she
i said: "Do YOU know that butter is uT
t to sixty-fve cents a poundY The hun
CRY guest reached out and took what wa.
) left. "Well," he drawled, approvinsly
: and reassuredly, "good butter is wutl
: it, Rochester Express.
e When James T. Brady first opened {
d lawyers Office in New York, he took I
Y basement room, which had previousl!
d been occupied by cobbler. He wa
r somewhat annoyed by the previous occu
o pants callers, and irritated by the fac
J., that he had few of his own. One day n
= Irishman entered, "The cobbler's gone,
t see," he said. T should think he had,
e tartly responded Brady. "And what d.
Il you sell?' he said, looking at the solitar
d table and few law books. "Blockheads,
/ responded Brady. "Be gorra," said til
!. Irishman, eye must be doing a might
IS fine business-ye hain't got but on
d left" #..