Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-02-19
All Sorts.
lead locks-"Bangs.n

Dead locks-"Bangs."
A lovely money-syllable-Gold.
The light wait champion-Edison.
Uneasy sits the man who has a boil.
The latest agony-Toothache at 8
A. NJ.
The shorn lamb is distempered by the
wind.
It is better to go out on fly than on
a lark.
It's sharp rat that gnaws its own
fodder.
The most honest herdsmen will fleece
a sheep.
A century plant-The burial of CEN
tenarian.
The new crop of almanacs is the best
for a year.
"Bee-warev' he cried, pointing to a
pot of honey.
The man at the helm has stern du-
ty to perform.
There's arrest for the wicked if not
for the weary.
A turkey with clipped wings has a
defective flew.
After fight any man cs.n see the
Justice of peace.
A deer park-One that costs more
than it is worth.
Advice to persons thinking..of divorce
Never dis-pair.
The break of day prevents the night
from going too far.
AS Virginia was to Pres idents, 80 is
Ohio to candidates.
A mares nest should be valuable
adjunct to a stock farm.
A good many legislative bills are bo-
gus-they will not pass.
Did you ever see an Indian Pawn-ees
overcoat? It's bear-skin.
Bob Ingersoll first lectured on He'll,
then Oh Burns, now ON Paine.
Stick to those who stand by you, and
never go back on a red-hot stove.
The feet of Chicago and st. Louis
girls are, in great measure, alike.
The wise man telleth his love, but
the foolish man writeth it in let
ter.
The pastry cook is not afraid to beard
the raisins in their layers and stone
'em.
The mule trade is now very active in
all quarters, especially the hind quar-
tiers.
The no-biiity-The members who
oppose the Introduction of any more
bills
Old time champagne-A piece of
creased paper pasted over the win
dow.
A divorce court conundrum: What
is the difference between husband and
wife?
The pull-back's advantages make-It
difficult for lovely woman to stoop to
folly.
Gentlemen are expected to behave
in lady-like manner at leap year
balls.
"Oysters two" would seem to be the
proper way two spell church.festival
soup.
You can't go a sleighing with
out snow, nor buggy-riding without
reins.
Some of the dearest spots on earth
are the aces held In another mans
hand.
Men talk of killing time, while
old Time quietly assists in planting
them.
Eve, go to grass, as Mary said to her
little lamb when she sent it out to get
its meals.
An exchange says few men die of
age. Why call them men if they're
not of age?
1t has been discovered that the Dutch
baby cries for it's mudder and fodder at
the same time.
White lies roll themselves into CO
coons and next year come out full
tiedged whoppers.
Song of the poor young married couple
occupying single room-"We'u have
suit by and BY"
A man may be as honest as the day
is long and yet be little crooked on
thirty days credit.
She was my idyl while wooed,
My idol when | won;
My ideal when, in after years,
Ways idle had she none.
To drop an acquaintance-'It i'm on
the 'ead with Hickory 'andle of a Jam.
mer and make i'm 'op.
A jockey hat sat on her nose,
She carried a rattan,
And all VINO saw her couldn't tell
The lady from a-man.
In game of cards good deal de
ponds on good playing, and good play
ing depends on good deal.
She may dress in silk, or dress in satin,
May know the languages, Greek and Latin
May know fine art, may love and sigh
But she amt no good II she can't make pie
Four thousand bills are pending in
Congress. 1t is the best disposition
that can be made of them. Let then
pend.
The poet who sang, "I'm sailing o'e
the brine knee Deep" was evidently 4