Litchfield enquirer., 1880-11-11
CLIPPINGS.

CLIPPINGS.
Wanted: A photograph Of happy Demo-
GRAFT
"Mlne, miner, minus" This is the general
upstIot of speculation in mining stock. as
Mr. Love was married the other day at
Ithica, at the age of eighty three. 1t was an
Old love affair.
"Never mistake perspiration Transportation, N
| said an old minister in his charge to young
pastor just being ordained.
"Love is an internal transport !" exclaimed
| an enthusiastic poet. $50 is canal boat,
said practical old forwarding merchant.
| my boy" said conscientious teacher
| ''do you know the reason why am going to
| whip you ?" Eyes, !" replied the hopeful; 81
suppose it's because you're bigger than I am. y
A Philadelphia 5qusck informs the public
that heis not at alfexelusiveJ- Ia patient
wants it gentle and mild, Pm hom9opath,
and when anybody wants thunder and light
ming, Pm an allopath.
81 understand, " said the Galveston recorder
| .'that you are a confirmed drunkard." 'Dat's
whar you is ia COON, Judge. amt been con
| frmed in no church yil, but de blue light
Baptises is giben Satan heap OBJ worry
| about me-"
''If have ever used any unkind words
| Hannah, said Mr.. Smiley to Mrs. Smiley,
| ref1eetively, 'Itake them all back."Y ''Yes,
| suppose you want to use them over again, +"
was the not very soothing reply. III II
evil you and your son occupy one room p
asked a hotel clerk Of woman of thirty-five
who arrived at Omaha with boy of sixteen
''dhis is not my son" she said, with empha-
! sis, ''but my husband. We are on our bridal
| tour" J az t+'f ti
| ""What," exclaimed Demosthenes. as he
| looked around upon his hearers, "can be more
valuable to great people than a free ballot.
| full vote and fair count ?" "a bar'l,
| head and moved on.
Rise of intellect 10 the midland counties
Diocesan inspector: "And what happened
| when they cane to Paphos?" Child: est
Paul struck Elymas, the sorcerer, blind, In
Ispector: What did lie strike him blind for p
Child: Because hesduced him. SIR"
Il Since bicycieshave become 40 fashionable
IL is proposed to popularize the d wheelbarrov
by changing its name to the unicycle. 1t il
thought if some of our swell youths would
organize unicycle club they might possibly
earn enough to pay for their cigarettes.
l.f'What is the worst thing about riches q
asked the Sunday-school superintendent
And the new boy in the bod class under the
gallery, who only came. in last Sunday, stood
up and said, .'Their searcity.rL 4. And lid biz
confusion the Superintendent told the schoo
to rise and sing, Don't get weary, children.
Charles Fox and his friend Mr.. Hare, both
much incommoded by duns, were together in
house, when, seeing some shabby men about
the door, they were afraid they were bailiffs
in search of one of the..,. Notknowiug which
was in danger, Fox opened the window, and,
calling to,thetn, said Pray, gentlemen, are
you Fox hunting or Hare hunting p"
''Here lend US q hand, somebody cried
good little Billy, struggling to climb over the
back fence to run away to circus. And his
kind father, who happened to be near and
heard him, came up and lent him hand
about the size of sugar cured ham, sixteen
or seventeen times And the next time be
runs away to the circus Billy will try to get
along alone"
Pat--s.Och, Bridget, did ye niver hear Nv
Bridget--.'No, Pat; how should [? for shure |
was not on the ground" Pat-s'Wen,
Bridget, you see I was called upon by the
Hibernian Society for a spache and, be jab.
ers, / rose with the Enthusiastic cheers OF
thousands, with me heart overlooking with
gratitude, and me eyes filled with tears, and
divil word did spake."
4 Into ono of our largest dry goods stores
entered gentleman, the other day, and with
the air of one who had been used to this sort
of thing all his life, you know, he said to the
astonished sa,eswoman, Give me q yard of
maroon colpred flannel to match d baby,
please. Correcting himself hastily, he began
again: Fl beg pardon;I ] mean yard of
flannel to match maroon colored baby
here (pfoducing bit OF flannel from his vest
pocket, Lwant award OF that"
What that coffee all gone ?" "Yis, nam.
There isn't blessed DRAWN left in the box y
What! four pounds of coffee used up in our
small family in one week ?'' Small family z
! Musha, thin, nam, there's two of ,yez an the
maid, and there's me and ME foive admirers,
who has aich night to hisself, and how We
can make small family out OF tin o. us is
beyant me intirely. i don't know what veil
do whin come to fill in tn other two nights
o. the " eek wild young men who wants a sup
ehes eonee Esto keep the chIlIs avsg
There seems to be great anxiety and impa-
thence on the part of the people to see the re-
vised edition of the Bible that they NAV see
what changes have been made. u The trouble
with most people will be that they don't know
enough about Che old Bible to recognize the
change when they see it. We heard a man
say that he considered this unauthorized med
ding with and changing of the sacred book
little less than blashemy. And at the time Of
the book of q 5Q fiaaa hs dhptation, Make
DANBURY NEWS ITEMS.
The Chinese are requested to call for their
lanterns, and git. 49,
, -fieaasahtville,T pdtnts to 1000 600
pickles this season and proudly observes
s"This is sour work !"
On Monday one of the largest manufactur-
ing interests lin the State ceased This was
the making of new voters.
"By George |" observed Danbury Young
man whe was married last month. ssif "a
thought about kindling coal fires I'd never Got
married III the fall I'd waited till next
spring and had a six months honeymoon.
The Connecticut Valley Dental Association
has felt obliged to haul its younger members
over theg Goals for cutting under the rates.
The 4ealonsa youths were Sextracting teeth ffr
ten cents leach, of three for quarter. and
everybody In the valley who had a tooth was
rushing to have it pulled.