Richland beacon., 1880-07-03
FANCTES FOR THE FAIR.

THE wives OF most Mormon bishops
take in washing and ironing.
SUSPEND the total is more refined
than to say chang it all"
"a FOOL must now and then be right
hy chance'-but woman never-ln her
husbands pants.
ANOTHER thing is certain as death
and taxas, and that is that love letter
is never sent in yellow envelope.
THIS is the latest for wedding invita-
tons: Come around and see us cap
hre a mother-in-law, at o'clock,
harp."
IS some respects the gentler sex far
surpass us. No man, for instance, can
deliver lecture with dozen pins in
his mouth.
MICHIGAN has six female lawyers,
and every one of them dares stand up
and " sass back" when His Honor rules
against her.
4 NEW song is called "Angels Whis'
per Soft and Low" The title was sug-
gested by the remarks of man who
was demonstrating with a scolding wife.
Ir is said that there are in the small
town of Writ, Alegany County, nine
couples, who have each lived together
81 wears. The husbands with one ex-
ception, are farmers.
An editor who has been married
about two weeks frankly admits that
woman isn't so bad after all."-Syra-
crse Herald. Give him time, man; give
him time.
ONE reason why Leadville has no
schools is because all the school ma Jams
who 60 there find husbands between the
depot and the hotels, and don't care a
cent whether school keeps or not.
THE suit for a maiden's hand is
brought in the court of come an please.
-Muathon Independent. But when the
old man orders the plaintiff tut, it is
g Sir, quit court
AN armIess Mexican woman plays the
piano beautifully with her feet. Some
of our amateurs might attempt this
They will never be able to play well
with their hands, and they mig ght as
well try the new method.
THE Cincinnati Commercial humbly
explains that when it spoke of the SER
want girl graduates of an institute"
1t was simply due to the perversity of
the types, 1.-THE sweet girl graduates !"
being, of course, intended.
"a YOUNG lady in Pen Yam, n. Y,
wears twelve diamond rings on one
finger" She should also wear gold
band around her head, to prevent the
crack in her skull from becoming wider.
-NOrristoun Herald af f
WE don't believe it; but it is re-
tailed as fact that a meeting of the
ladies qualified to vote for a school COM
mittee, broke up in disorder because
they could not settle whether their
tickets should be cut bias, or futed on
the edges.
A MAN who had not seen his wife for
r,hteen years, and believed her dead,
found her alive and well in Ninneapo-
lis. So far was he from being Overioyed
by the meeting that he swallowed laud.
anum intending to cause final separa-
tion by death.
The average young lady of the period
will pierce her ears, bang her hair, and
pinch up her waist until she res mbles
an attenua'ed wasp; yet if asked to
wash dishes or sweep out a 70 IN, she
will reply that she cannot possibly
stand such violent and tOrturing ex r.
else.
A sALEswOMAN in a shop on Wash
ington street, Boston, has an odd pet
!ti. little mouse with blue ribbon
tie around its neck. The little animal
is fastened by fine chain to its owners
dress and plays about her shoulders, in
and out of her sieeve and neck, asprettily
as you please.
SOME admiring poet said of his best
girl, upon her face a thousand
dimples smile for me-" Which only
adds more emphasis to the a age.
Glove is blind" How like the mis-
chief a girl would look wi h a thousand
iimples on her face. The poet must
have meant ireckles.
THE Philadelphia Chronicle notices
that red parasols have made their ap
pearance upon the streets. Besides be.
ing very attractive, they cast such a
beautiful glow upon the noses of the
females beneath them that cd topper;
turn green with envy.