The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1880-05-28
THE nNRRAsnNARI.R ANN


From "a Tramp Abroad, - by Marx Twain.
Now and then, while we rested. We
watched the laborious ant at his WORK
found nothing new in him-cenainly
nothing to change my opinion of him
It seems to me that in the matter of in
tellect the ant must be a strangely over
rated bird. During many summers now
l have watched him when / ought to
have been in better business, and / have
not yet come across a living ant that
seemed To have any more sense. than a
dead one. ! refer to the ordinary AMI.
of course; have had no experience of
those wonderful Swiss and African ones
which vote, keep drilled armies. hold
slaves, and dispute about religion Those
particular ants may be all that the natur-
alist paints them, but l am persuaded
that the average ant is a sham. l admit
his industry. Of course; he is the hardest
working animal in the world-when
anybody is lOOking-but his leather
Medicines is the point l make against
him. lie goes out foraging; he makes a
capture, and then what does he do? Go
home: No; he goes anywhere but
home. He doesn't know where home is.
His home may be only three feet away
no matter, he can't find it.
He makes his capture, as l have said
il IS generally something which can be
of no sort of use to himself OF anybody
else; it is usually seven times bigger
than it ought to be; he hunts out the
awkwardest place to take hold of it; he
lifts it bodily up In the air by main
force, and starts-not toward home, but
in the opposite direction; not calmly
and wisely, but with u frantic haste which
is wasteful of his strength; he fetches up
against pebble, and instead of g0ing
around 1t, he climbs over it backwards,
dragging his booty afteI him, tumbles
down the other side, jumps up in pas
sion, kicks the dust off his clothes,
moistens his hands, grabs his property
viciously, yanks it this way then that,
shOves it ahead of him moment, turns
tail and Tugs il after him another mo-
ment, gets madden and madden, then
presently hOists it into the air and goes
tearing away in an entirely new direc
ton; comes to a weed; it never occurs
to him to go around 1t. No; he must
climb ii, and he does climb il, dragging
his worthless property to the top-whicl
is as bright u thing to do as it would be
for me to carry Il sack of -four from
Heidelberg to Paris by way of Strasburg
steeple; when he gets there he finds thai
is not the place; takes cursory glance
at the scenery, and either climbs down
| again or tumbles down, and starts of
once more-aS usual, in new direction
At the end of half an hour he fetches
up within six inches of the place he
started from, and lays his burden down
Meantime he has been over all the
| ground for two yards around, and
climbed all the weeds and pebbles h,
came across. Now he wipes the swea
| from his brow, strokes his limbs, anC
then marches aimlessly off in as Yiolen
a hurry as ever. He traverses a COCO
deal OF zig-Zag country, and by and by
stumbles ON his same booty again. HI
does not remember to have ever seen i
before; he looks around to see which i.
not the way home, grabs his bundle anC
starts. He goes through the same ad
ventures he had before, finally stops t.
rest, and a friend comes along. Evi
IDENTIFY the friend remarks that a las
years grasshOpper leg is very noble
acquisition, and inquiries where he go
it. Evidently the proprietor does no
remember exactly where he did get il
but thinks he got it around here some
where" Evidently the friend contract
to help him freight it home. TheI
with judgment peculiarly antic (puI
not Intentionally, they take hold O
opposite ends of that grasshOppe
leg and begin to tug with al
their might in opposite direC
tiOns. Presently they take a res
and confer together. They decide tina
something is wrong, they can't max,
out what. Then they go at it again, jus
as before. Same result. Mental II
examinations follow. Evidently each az
cuscs the other of being all obstruction
list. They warm up, and the disput
ends in fight. They lock themselve
together and chew each others jaws TO
a while; then they roll and tumble o.
the ground till one loses horn or lie
and has to haul off for repairs. The
make up and go to work again in tn
same insane way, but the crippled ant ]
at disadvantage; tug rs he may, tn
other one drags off the booty and hill
at the end of it. Instead of giving NJ
he hangs on and gets his shins bruise
against every obstruction that comes /
the way. By-and-hy, when that gras
hopper's leg has been dragged all owe
the same old ground again, it is finall
dumped at about the same spot where
originally lay. The two perspiring AM
inspect it thOughtfully and decide thu
dried grasshopper legs are a poor sort {
. property after all, and then each star
off in a different direction TO see if b
can't find an old nail or something els
that is heavy enough 10 afford entertain
ment, and at the same time Valueles
enough to make an ant want to own