Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1880-04-05
How a Married Woman Goes 10
Sleep.
Pittsburg Leader

flttSOurg Leader
There is an article going the rounds
entitled How Girls Go to Sleep
The manner in which they go to sleep,
according to the article, can't hold q
candle to the way a married woman
goes to sleep. Instead of thinking OF
what she should have attended to be-
fore going to bed, she thinks of it
afterward. While she is revolving
these matters in her mind, and while
snugly tucked in bed, the old man is
scratching his legs in front of the fire
and wondering how he will pay next
months rent. Suddenly she says:
James, did you lock the door,
(Which door?"
''The cellar door" says she.
NO" says james.
swell, you'd better go down and
lock it, for | heard some person in the
back yard last night"
Accordingly, James paddles down
stairs and locks the door. About the
time James returns and is going to get
into bed she remarks:
did you shut the stair door?'
NO says James.
well if it is not shut the cat will
get up into the bed room"
LET her come up. then" says
james, il~l-naturedly.
My goodness, mol" returns his wife,
shed suck the baby's breath 70
Then James paddles down stairs
again and steps on a tack, and closes
the stair door, and curses the cat, and
returns to the bedroom. Just as he
begins to climb into his couch his
wife observes:
Il forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring some in the big
tin"
And so James, with a muttered
curse, goes down into the dark kitchen
and falls over a chair, and rasps all
the tinware off the wall in search of
tue big" tin, and then he jerks the
stair door open and bowls:
Where the deucear the matches ?"
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather go and get the
water herself than have the neighbor-
hood raised about it. After which
James finds the matches, proeures the
water, comes up stairs and plunges in
bed. Presently his wife says
James, let's have an understand
ing about money matters. Now, next
week I've got to pay
Il don't know what you We got to
pay, and | don't care shouts James
as he lurches around and jams his
face against the wall "all | want is
to 90 to sleep.
That's all very we'll for yoa," snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers
viciously, you never think of the
worry and trouble | have. And there's
Araminta, who | believe Is taking the
measles"
Let her take 'em," says James,
sticking his legs out as straight as two
ramrods.
1T seems to me you have no n
nor feeling whines his wife, and if
you had any respect for me you
wouldn't eat onions before you come
to bed. The atmosphere of the DON
from the smell Of onions is horrid."
well, go down and sleep in the
kitchen, then, and let me Alone says
James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly.
but about the time james is falling
into a gentle doze she punches him
in the ribs with her elbow, and says :
Did you hear hat scandal about
Mrs. Jones?'
What Jones?" says James sleepily.
why, Mrs. Jones"
"Where?" inquiries James
81 declare" says his wife. You are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No. q.
Well, day before yesterday, Susan
Smith told Mrs. Thopson that Sam
Baker had said that Mrs. Jones had"-
Here she pauses and listens. James
is snoringin profound slun,ber. With
a snort of rage she pulls all the covers
off him, wraps herself up in them anc
lays awake until 2 am, thinking how
badly abused she is. And that is thu
way a married woman goes to sleep.