The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-09-23
SUNBEAMS,
CreWel work Assault and battery.

SUNBEAMS,
Crewel work Assault and battery.
Adam was married, on his wedding Eve,
of course.
Hemmed into aeorner-Initials on pocket
handkerchiefs.
Money is the mean mans conumdrum.
and he never gives it up.
The first pop" of which there is any re-
cord was Adam. OIL City Derrick
The worst thing out is your last match on
Q dark night. - Mardthon Independent.
And now they say there is ring y, in
door bells. ~ Hartford Sunday Journo1.
3 Singular there are no Hans around . in
the German. - Cincinnati Saturday Night.
There is one bone that even a hungry dog
will refuse to pick, and that is trombone.
A wag got hold of an EDITORS whisky bot
tie and labeled it, "To be continued in our
necks y sl a a&7 ~
It was the colored man whose wife had
presented him with twins who gave up to
i dis pair"
The manufacturer of artificial diamonds
has solved the "gem puzzle. - Cincinnati
Commercial ~ EE+ E. "A.
No matter how many shoe buttoners a
woman may lose, she always hairpins to
have one. PAila. Item.
1t looked like a butterAy-It had wings.
He chased it. He caught it, and sure enough
it was but fy.-Meridea Reccrder.
The Russian Fourth of July threatens to
last about all the year, if the Gear holds out
SO long as Observation-Disclosures Haaokeye. @
Scientists now pretend that it was the Jaw
bone of lawyer that Samson slew the Phil
lstlnes SO terribly with. -McGregor Nesos.
A Chinaman arrested for stealing tidy
explained to the Judge that Time and
tidee waitee no nance. Cincinnati iSatua'
day Night. s5 ~ g.
A New England clockmaker has failed
for the ninth time. It is apparently neces-
sary to wind him up every twenty -four
hours.
Dakota girl has married Chinaman.
He had some difficulty in explaining the
state of his heart, but she finally got his cue.
Boston Transcript. . iii al =
The ghost who entered Simpkin's room,
the other night, and made away with his
watch and small change, must have opened
the door with skeleton key.-LoaoeW Sun.
When young Blufkins quoted the good
book to the girl he was anxious to marry, that
it was not good for man to be alone, wasn't
it cruel in her to advise him to go home to
his mother ?-Someroille Journal. ~ T. ., q
A New Jersey paper says that few men
were born to rule, and the way to discover
those who were is to present them with a
dog. If man has any g boss :" in him he
will show it out on dumb animal | &&
A man named Arthur Wrab stole pair of
scales in Hoboken, recently, and after sell
ing them he left for parts unknown. This
reminds one of Longfelow's line SIS viii
fold up their tents like A. Wrab, and silently
steal q weigh" ... s-s,.f s@S:ssas1tg q 4
No, John, brides don't wear trains of
thought.-EG. And for the benefit of John
we might suggest that grooms don't wear
coats of paint. -MeaSden Recorder. But
they frequently do wear breaches of trust
Keohuk Constitution. r-.9 aasa-s ID
A native of the Green Isle was pressed by
the collector for payment of the water rate.
to which modest request he returned the fol-
lowing answer: "Sure, pay ten shillings
a year for wather, and many's the day it's
off for whole wake" 49,.
What killed Cleopatra? ?" asked the pro-
fessor. ''The bite hof hasp," said the bow
from Liverpool "Land!" exclaimed the
boy from Vermont, "what if she had sot
down on the staple ?" Prolonged and voci-
ferrous ilence.-Merit2ea Recorder --H
This happened in the far West, says an
exchange: School-teacher, to a stupid and
fat boy" You are better fed than taught,
or else am mistaken" Stupid boy-"Yes,
be, cause feeds myself, and you teach
me. "-Neao York Eepress 40 @ae.e r
A victim of domestic infeicity, who is in
the habit of dreaming, should never 90 to
sleep in church A congregation near
Quincy was somewhat startled last Sabbath,
when venerable member excitedly yelled
Here, now-drop that skillet, old wo-
man ! F" Es.H s.s. !. :.sE - tctg.a
A tisherman's wife patiently waits for her
husbands smack-N. Y. Neaos. And the
husband patiently waits for his smackerel.-
Rome Sentinel Oftener he waits for his
schooner. "-So1e7o Sunbeam Then he gets
half seas over" over the bay" /" spices
his main brace" and gets "three sheets in
the wind."- Whatehayl Times s. sas.
Before give you an answer" said Ara
mantha to her lover, who had just proposed
for her hand, 81 have secret to impart.n
What is it, dearest" he asked, pressing
his arm around her yielding waist. She