American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1880-02-28
WIT AND WISDOM.

MANY wholesale houses employ drum
mers, but some of them are base drum
mers.
LIFE is but an empty dream to the
young man who makes himself sick at
the stomach with too much enjoyment.
EGYPT is becoming rapidly modern
lied. Its last obelisk is being taken
away, and they have railroad accidents
there.
THE best remedy for cold feet is to
put them in the small of your wife's back
upon retiring. By hobbling her all
danger from kicking will be avoided
Chicago Tribune. . .....-
CARE drives the nails in our collins,
but what man can feel jolly when his
wife daily hands him a list of neighbors
who have got twice as many bonnets as
she has, and their husbands not earning
half his salary P-Detroa Free Press.
BETWEEN acts in the Boston Theatre,
a man startled the audience with a
sneeze SO loud and vigorous that the
house seemed to shake. There was
great applause, and cries of Encore!"
but he simply bowed his thanks.
Mr.. BILDERBAK laid down his paper
and gazed thoughtfully into the fire.
g From the frequency of glowing and
highly eulogistic obituary notices." the
old man said, "I Judge there is an I'M
precedented mortality among the mean
men just now.''
PASSENGER sitting in the car reading
Hurper's Razar. Curious passenger in
the next scat trying to get a good look
at the fuIl-length fashion plates on the
first page. By and by he breaks out,
:. Stranger, will you let me look at that
thar Police Gazette when you get through
with it?''
A BALTIMORE barber lost confidence
in a pecuniary responsibility of man
whose beard he was shaving off, and
demanded his pay when the job was half
done. The man had no money, and
was turned into the street, where the
popularity of his face-haf clean and
half covered with whiskers-drew
throng.
ssANY of you boys up to the wedding
last nightP'' inquired Little English yes
terday, as half dozen boot-blacks were
taking sunbath on the Post-office steps.
All of them were prevented from attend
ing by very important business, and the
dwarf shook his head in a solemn way
and continued: "There was an awful
give-away up there-worst l ever saw"
Howp' Why, when they got al
ready to be married the preacher wanted
to know who gave the bride away, and
feller with swaller-tailed coat spoke
right up as brassy as could be and said
he did. Yes, gave her dead away, and
the bridegroom never even spit on his
hands to hit him. ''-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. c. was pastor of a Baptist
church in certain town in one of the
Western States. He had been on very
bad terms with his flock for some time.
They abused him whenever they could
find occasion, and he reciprocated with
equal readiness. Before his contract
with the parish expired. he received the
of Chaplain at the State
prison. Elated at this lucky opportu-
nifty of getting rid of him, the congre-
cation came in full numbers to hear his
farewell sermon, perhaps less to
compliment than to annoy him with
their presence. Great was their aston
ishment, and still greater their anger,
when the reverend gentleman chose for
his text the following words, 9" go to
prepare place for you :. that acaere
am, there ye may be also. "-Editor's
DraaUer, IN Hd7per's.