Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1880-09-09
HERE AND THER RE.


Fred Douglass eats his melon, s-,da and
ali
We believe the disease that has the
most terror fnr women is lock- tw
Mkt year a, this time Hayes opinion
of u squash won't be worth more ihnn Tint
of any other man.
Bishop Elder of Cincinnati has declared
that no banged nor frizzed hair will be
allowed among the women of his con-
gregation.
Oeolnargerine il sold by the grocer who
tells you it IN Just from the COW. And No
it is; but the COW in dead aud her fat was
used to make it.
An exchange says, "Good wives are
wanted in the Northwest" Surely this in
not strange. IL there any place where
they are not wanted
A tub OF butter which fell into the
bottom of Vermont wei forty years ago,
has just been fished up. Need We add
that 1t was well preserved?
Darn the ne wspapers why cap'i they
leave such items out, exclaimed an under
tsker when he read an article warning
people not TO eat green fruit.
When some ore called Cincinnati man
bruiser, the latter sailed in on the
accuser and pounded him half to death to
make him take back the charge.
Henry Bergh is said to be the homeliest
man in the country. And yet how very
kind to mules-NeO Haven Register. "a
fellow feeling makes us wonderous kind. 4"
| A South End man asked one armed
organ grinder If he was a survivor of the
late war, and the organist replied: "Hang
it, do l act as though l was killed in it ?"
Alexander H. Stephens is reported to
be in better health than for years past.
He can now sit on hotel piazza at the
seaside without paper weights on his coat
tails.
The London World says of London
beauty "She dresses quietly, SO that it is
difficult to say what she has on" II the
| World means Lydia Thompson, why
doesn't it say SO?
Art must anchor in nature, or it is the
sport of every breath of foliy.-Hazhtt.
Right you are, sir. If the false hair isn't
skillfully anchored in the real, it will
prove dead glve-away.
Remonsirsuce by an Italian minstrel on
board an excursion boat, to passenger who
declines to put anything into the hat
what for you beat-a with your canea,
when we playa, eh?"
| There was young edy named Cherry,
| Who was so uncOmmOnly merry,
| When an eel she sa" skinned,
! She composcdly grinned
fright Jerseys cells wear" Said Miss Cherry.
A New England Chiuaman formally
announces the foct that he has renoupced
Confuous and taken to Roscoe Conkling.
This is just as good as if Oonkling had
received the nomination. Detr0it Free
Press
II When a Michigan minister il about to
elope with the wife Of parishoner he
breaches farewell sermon and exalts the
duty OF patience and long suffering. This
sort OF pours oil on the troubled waters in
advance.
What the mischief does deaf mar want
of a bootjack 2-BO Post. Ah-y es-we
pnss ceive your meaning. - Syracuse
HtTdH, The way you fellows do mew-ti-
late the English language amounts almost
to cat astrophe.
Joe Hawley says Garfield il man you
can drink with III the dark. II in we'll
that you can. Men who value their rspu.
tation would scarcely like to walk mp to
the bar with dead cock in the pit in the
daylight. - Utica Observer
How different are the members of the
Board of Education of Nashville from
those of any other city A local paper
says that one of them ''rose and made II
few sensible remarks" Can't he be hired
to remove TO Wilmington?
Among the recent mnterializAd visitors
at the Lake Pleasant Spiritualist camp
meeting were George Washington,
Abraham Lincoln, Edwin NJ. Stanton,
Gen Thomas, Jim Fisk and IAN ancient
Persian nearly seven feat high"
az you are a quite honest citizen of
4 Galveston, how dld those skeleton keys
and brass kuuckes happen to be in your
eont-pockets p Il reckon, Judge, me and
the policeman must have changed coata ir
the scufile. We were verymuch excited"
Galgest0h Neaos
AT the Wentworth House, Newcastle, N.
III there is a dish washing machine which
does the work of 10 ordinary women. and
IL warranted to break no dishes. -Neo
York Eoening Post Then how in the
thunder does 1t do the work of 10 ordiuary
women -BOstOH POst.
Young mother No; if your children
have been eating green fruit, 1t will not
hurt them to drink milk. The fruit will
hurt them 10 they'll howl and keep the
neighbors awake all night anyway, and
the milk can't make it any worse.-B0 ton,
Post
"Who will now play Juliet 7" mourn
fully asks the Cleveland HeraM Great
Scott, young man, there'll be more than
80 young ladies just out of boarding
school playing it before Christmas
B0stOn Post.
There was young girl with Jersey,
who lived OH the banks OF the Mcrsey,
When she nndresscd for bed