Custer chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, Black Hills, D.T. [S.D.]) 1880-1890, 1880-12-18
OR STOLEN.

y 10 " PpoI epSllCI WIN uoSS uOt hCCl
an i to business.
A boil in the kettle is worth two on
your nose.-lIartford Sunday Journal
A corn on the ear is worth two on your
toes.-keOkuk Constitution. A rent
free in your house is worth two IN your
clothes.
An Ohio girl sued a man for breach
Of promise, and proved him such a
mean scoundrel that the jury decided
that she ough: to pay him for not mar
rying her.
In a quarrel in Ithaca, n. V, between
two young men, one Of them struck the
other upon the head with a cat with
such force that he knocked him to the
ground senseless and killed the cat.
Much sympathy was expressed for the
cat.
Look at the Partially Of nature.
When a bee stings once, its work is fin
iShed, and it dies. But we have known
one gaunt mesquite to tap a Methodist
conference, and then get mad because
hood.
The astonishing thing about Professor
Swift's g come is that it is throwing
off an extended tail" If it persists in
this ruinous course it will amount to no
more than any ordinary bob-tailed star.
We want no comets unless they are able
to fill the bill.
In accordance with the terms of a
s;lIv election bet Mr.. Pakas, Il Democrat
Of Worcester. Mass. took his stand in
front Of the Bay State Hotel in that city
the other day in full evening dress, and
for two hours h!acked the boots of any
one who wanted the job done.
A panbury man has 4 Boston lady
wishing him. Sunday evening, on com
ing out Of church with her. he extended
his arm, and. with a delicate Difference
"a her ~prejudiccs, sad Evil yon ac-
cept my upper limb" NTH a grateful
lock from her CLASSY eyes she accepted
Country banker TO ohaky customer,
Are YOU aware, Mr.. Suolivan. that your
q count is overdrawn a hundred or So"
Enthusiastically, am, sir. Don't
bother ne about such %trilcS. | don't
90 howiing about the country when
you've hundred or So of mine. Your
information is superfiuous either way :
Good morning. sir"
The bootinaker who says his boots are
all right Will have only on~e-legged men
for cuFtumers.-BostOn Transcript. The
boolmakcr VINO SAYS his boots are all
left is ever worse OF, for he will have
no customers a. ail.-itome Sentinel.
The bOOtmakcr who says his boots are
neither right nor left Will make money.
foi he will have none lett on his hands
or feet either, although all Of them are
wrong.
A man came 70 the house of il proni-
Galveston gentleman who was re-
nowncd for not paying his debts, and
knocking at the door asked the boy
who appeared if his father was in?
mo, sir, he left town" Il am sorry,
for | wanted to pay him a little bill |
Was owing h.ilA." "O.i, .you ".": g. ,
him money, do you" Yes, certainly.
Here it is" "Well, then, III run in and
ask him if lie hasn't got back"
Gilhooly met a defeated candidate
who is a chronic politician yesterday,
and sought TO console him, saying;
You ought to be glad You are beaten,
for now YOU can drop politics and 60
into legitimate business" Il was think
ing of that" sighed the candidate, if |
could only get credit enough | should
like TO engage in mercantile pursuits
and fail on twenty cents on the dollar.
That would set me up in public estima-
tion."-Galveston News.
A young chap from Shutesbury, Mass,
his girl along, took her to dinner
at "A hotel not far from Amherst the
day and the pair were seated to-
g Their at the table. Directly in front Of
them stood a glass containing celery,
the white crisp stalks still having the
green leaves on them. Never having
seen anything of the sort before, and
installing it for something ornamental,
he turned to his sweetheart and remark
ed, In a drawing tone: That's IA hefty
amt it,"
A gentleman who employs a greet
number of hands in q manufactory in
the west Of Scotland. in order to en-
his workpeopie in Il due atten d
at church on fast day told them
that if they went to church they would
their wages for that day in the
same mannersas if they had been al
work, upon which a deputation was APP
pointed to acquaint their employer that
IF he would pay them for over-hours
would attend likewise at the
Methodist chapel III the evening.
There lives in th- Republic az Sal,