Daily Republican., 1880-02-05
HUMOROUs.

transmitted along o cord attached TO two
cylinders, and supposed to bs very efec-
tive In mitigating aggravated cases oi
"stsrn PARENT" A young lady on
Post street was In the habit Of eluding
the lynx eye Of her father by dropping
one Of these Inventions from tho third
story window every night, and holding
sweet converse with her adored but
financially Ineligible sweetheart, who
stood on the pavement below. The 9th
or night the "Governor" happened to
notice a mysterious cord that passed
his window, and an investigation dis
covered the little arrangement. He
deftly attached another string half way,
and, applying it to his ear, enjoyed an
a1sctionate interview then in progress.
"WOuld 1t be safe for me TO call to-
morrow ?" finally inquired the lower
end Of the apparatus.
"Yes, Charlie" vibratsd an Holian
whisper from above.
when do you think the old beast
will be out Y'
"In about two seconds, with q club"
was the startling response, and the way
the old gentleman jumped for the hall
dosr would have been very effective If
it had been half as speedy as the gait
at which the ysung man outside left for
the adjoining ward.
WHAT SHE KNEW ABOUT ANGELS -Nr.
Rev. H was q good mar--lhat is,
as geod as tobacco chewer can be, but
rough in his ways.
One day he was caught in a shower
in Illinois, and going to 4 rude cabin
near by he knocked at tho door. A
sharp looking old dame answered his
SUMMONS. lie asked for shelter.
81 don't know you, she replied sus.
piciously.
"Remsmber the Scriptures" he re-
piled. "Be not fsrgetful to entertain
strangers, for thereby some have en-
tsrtained angels unawares."
"You need not say that" quickly
responded the other, ''no angel would
come down here with quid Of tobacco
in his mouth"
She shut the door in his face, leav-
ing the good man to the mercy of the
rain and his cwn reflections.
A FRENcnMAN's STRUGoLE TO MASTER
TIE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.-A late nun
bsr Of an educational journal thus de-
scribss the trouble Frsnchman had
with the verb "brsak."
~ begin to understand your langu.
age bettsr," said my French friend,
Mr.. Dubois, to me, hut your verbs
trouble me still; you mix them up SO
with propositions.
81 am sorry you fnd them so trouble
soms," was all could say.
~ saw your friend Mrs. Murksson
inst now." "She says she intends to
break down housekeeping; am right
therei"
Break up housekeeping, she must
have said"
"Ohl yes. remember; break up
housekeeping.
"Why does she do that" then ask.
ed.
"Becauss her health Is broken into"
"Broken down."
"Broken down. Oh, yes And, in
deed, since the smallpox has broken up
in our city"
"Broken out"
"She thinks she will leave it for
few weeks"
"Will she leave her house alone"
"No, she is afraid 1t will bs broken
10 say that i'
Broken into"
"Certainly, it is what l meant to
isy."
SIS her son TO BE- married soon -
"No, that engagement is broken
,roken-"
"Broken of ?"
"Yes, broken off,"
"Ah, had not heard Of that"
"Shs is very sorry about 1t. Her son
'nly broke the news down TO her last
week. Am right am anxious to
peak English WE'LL"
"He merely broke the news no pre-
,osition this time"
at is hard to understand. That
'oung man, her son, is fine young
elbow breaker, l think"
"a broker, and a very fine young
ellow. Good-day."
So much for the verb "to break" v
Worn OUT BRoGANs FOR New Doors
Il like shosmaker's shop" he said,
with the avis Of all sizes, and the n
NELL Of new leather. There Is no tune
layed like that played by a hammer d
n lapstons. 1t is the drum-beat Of
iligence. And, ah ! that lapstone, p
cked into shape and comeliness by the
Id sea, as a sae bear licks her cubs.
y the way, merry oobbler, have you a
air of uncalled- for boots that would fit
.e 7"
l happened to have nice pair Of his
70. and he tried them on.
Elegant |" he exclaimed "my foot
,sts on them as easily as baby in
'adle. How remarkable | bslieve
lat these boots we're destined for me.
There is q destiny that shapes our
nds, &o. you know the rest, cobbler.
guess, on the whole, will take these
pots and leave my present old ones for
permanent repairs"
"And il you believe me, he somehow
other got away with the tran-new
,ots," said the cobblsr, land left a
air Of wretched, old, worn out bro
ms"
swell, how was it,"w asked, "that
gu allowed him to come it over you
y"
81 can not say" replied the cobbler;
he kept talking in such sweet, sug-
Try way all about the ancient shoe
akers, and as he got to the door hs
apped his hand to his forehead and
sclared that there was more cOrrup.