Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-02-20
! ALL SORTS.

ALL SORTS.
a DEAR little thing The diamond g
osIrIone person in 500 owns a horse.
Woar the combing man ben barber7
OaE,1HTHIof Norway Is timber land.
A woMAN's rite The marriage oere-
mony. s =
r.. mother q vinegar is avery sharp
old lady. :. IT So
: TIE wind always finds something to
blow about. . = =
i a oHAsA that often separates friends
- aRAv1-YARD-Thirty inches of
black Grape. .s,.,1.......c..,, 49,
j TIE aaw.mill runs TO- the tune Of q
logarhythm. ,,..z ~. , ~ ,4.,.~.i:. .,,,
THn route 70 the coal bin is 9 bod /,
"sHAxE," as the medicine bottle said
to the invalid. ..:iEau aa@r 49,.
~ A MODERN .philosophe says that men
do, not go to : pantry to buy pants. y 1T
- AFTER all, the most beautiful hair is
that of your first baby, which hasn't
IT i. .. estimated ,,, that il this country
only, one person in 500 owns . horse.
Are we q neighshunp I" 'taG :
: He said her hair was dyed; and, when
she Indignantly exclaimed, IT'S falsel"
he sid ne presumed 50. ~: -
/ STRANGE, but true. A word in sea-
son is scarcely ever spoken by,a man in :
Q peppery frame OF mind. ,l.:s,; =, ..je:s.
.sr II An dying for love" said? a fnelan-
oholy yonng man, as he put the coal
black fluid on his mustache. 49,.
"a CONTEMPORARY tells the ladies that
they must take heart That's just what
they have been doing for ages. ~
~,,.I LIZ women had the ballot, what would
she do with it? It isn't long enough for
q belt or big enough for hustle. ;,..,
IT is said that Romulus, at the rape
of the Sabines, wrote as war-song the
ballad: IF ever I seize to love"
How RAPIDLY man loses all interest
in politics and national finance when
he shuts the door on his own thumb.
PADLooKs are said to have been in
vented by Becker, at Nuremburg, in
1910, butar mentioned much earlier. 20.
THERE Is no barrel Of CLAIMS, however watched and
But one bad clam is there: 80 .:,.
There is no tub Of butter. howsoe'er compounded,
But has its lock Of hair. ''
WHEN q writer swears because his
articles are refused, it's proof that re-
jected nicatons corrupt good
manners.
ABsrEM1oUsLY and facetiously are
said to be the only two words in which
the: vowels follow one another in alpha.
betical order. III
YOU'VE sportsman-"Does your faith
or preserve at all?" Ingenious maiden
- Oh, no; we use all our fruit for
making tarts."" ...--
A SIGN on q barn in. Preston, c.,
reads cheorfully: @The place to buy
your coffin is at Graves Stones under.
taking establishment"
In Scotland the marriage of parents
subsequent to the birth of child rem
ders such child legitimate, and in En-
gland and Ireland it does not.
THE1 say "a man is known by his as
sociates." OF course he is; man can't
associate with people for any length of
time without their knowing him.
IT is not pleasant to see every one
around you bigger person than your
self. Yet this is sight that many do
see who are not dwarfs in stature.
NOTE from the diary of swell: 81
have observed thatmy habics are very
elastic in one direction; suspect l
could live up to almost: any income"
Sp1LK1Ns saw weu-known leader Of
fashion elected from his hotel the other
night, whereupon he remarked that he
had seldom seen more stylish turnout.
GovERNEss-"Now, Jack, if I were to
give twelve pears to Maude, ten to
Edith, and three to you, what would it
beg Jack (aged 6)-"It wouldn't be
fair"
To ExTERM1NATE CocKRoAcHEs.-
mixture of red lead, Indian meal and
molasses will be eagerly eaten by cock
reaches, and will soon exte1minate
them.
BUsTLEs having gone out of fashion,
q richly dressed woman wearing one of
great size attracted the attention of the
customs officers at Windsor, Canada.
It was found to contain tea.
An old rail-splitter in Indiana put the
quietus upon q young man who chaffed
him upon his bald head in these words:
Young man, when my head gets as soft
as yours, I can raise hair to SELL"
The English nobility must certainly
be q very dirty set of people. It is
| stated that the Duke of Portland has
thirty farms on his hands, and Lord
Willoughby has thirteen. Why don't
they wash themselves?.
4 NEW use has been found for many
a youths headpiece, the utility Of
! which has heretofore been question:
BILE. It is discovered that young mems
heads are primarily intended to keep
their neckties from slipping off. "
Boiled INDIAN PUDDING Two quarts
| milk, two full cups Indian meal, one cup
molasses, salt to taste. Boil two-thirds
of the milk to scald the meal; then add
the molasses and the rest of the milk.
Stir all together, and boil eight hours
A WOMAN who was called as witness
in an assault case tried in the Edin-
burgh police court recently, on being
| asked by the magistrate what was the
profession of her husband, answered,
promptly, my husband is bankrupt,
sir" 5;..t ... ., f..
| LEMON BUTER.-One and q half cup
fuls white sugar, whites of three eggs,
yelk of one, grated rind and juice of a
lemon and . hall, or two small ones !;
cook over q slow fire twenty minutes,
stirring all the while. Very nice for
tarts, or to be eaten as preserves.
Il The wife of defeated candidate in
Massachusetts, the day after an cleo.
ton, presented her husband with trip
let's. He did not arrive at home until
the next day; then he was shown his off
spring, one at time, until all three
had been exhibited, when, looking at
his wife, he asked: 4" Are the returns
all in, M'ria?" III i~.. a.:
THE application OF manure to the
orchard is too often neglected. Use
well -rotted stable manure. tt may be
l 8 y L :.