The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-10-05
A Snake Story.

riSon Ark and fell asleep. He aas suddenly
aroused toy aclutching of hrs legs Looking d"~n'
stich = sight met ms eyes would have made the
stoutest heart bound with agitation ClaspIne
10th legs were two rattiesnakes Of the diamond
species, cooled and looking him greedily IN the
fare from both sides. TWAS a moment To try the
nerve Of the brayest hero known Ia history, and
Mr. Wiger treinbed from head 10 foot; but know
ing his salvation WAS inactIon rather tisn action
ne dropped hack and lay A. one dead. How long
he renamed IN that prrdlcament IL hard Ia tell,
h'it some time after dark both snakes unroiiei
Themselves. and after crawling under his n-'is and
sround his hea! several times, moved quietly
away Wiger made tracks for the nearest h"n-e
and fell faintn.. After some little trouble lac
was revived, bat Il MAS found thai during ms iy-
aug stiIl blood lisd oo.ed from hrs eyes and mouth
aud his hair, which. he said. i~ef"re Ma raven
black, had almost an iron-sras east
Although many parti,s are ebdeavor.
lnR to push other similar remedies into the
market by epicy advertisements, DR.. Bull
Cough Syrup takes the lead and the drug
gisis are selling more than ever before.t
Price . cents.
Dead Gone.
The following grotesque billet douI
has arrived on Town Talks table. Ii
must have been lOst upon our streets,
~ it is evident that it never reached
"Dear Ella" Here it is in all its gor-
geousness:
DEAR EILA.-Every time | think
of you my heart fops up and down
like a churn dasher. Sensations of
unutterable joy caper over it like
young goats over stable roof, and
thrill through it like Spanish needles
through a pair of tow-Iinen lrowsers.
As q costing swimmeth in mud pud-
die. 60 I swim in sea Of love; visions
Of ecstatic rapture thicker than the
hairs On q backing brush, visi: me in
my slumbers, and your image stands
before me and reach out to grasr. it
like pointer swapping at blue bot
tie fly. When | first beheld your an
gelic perfection my brain whirled
around like a humble bee under a
tumbler. My eyes stood open like
cellar doors in q country town. My
tongue refuses to wag; drink 10 the
infection of love As the thirsty man
swalloweth hot whiskey punch. Since
the light of your face fell upon my
life, 1 feel as il l could lift myself up
by my suspenders to the church steeple
and ring the bell for Sunday school.
When the awakening pig arises from
his bed and goeth forth for his refresh
ments when the lowing herd comes
home at milking time think of thee.
and, like a piece of gum elastic, my
heart seems stretched clear across my
bosom. Your hair is like the name of
our sorrel horse. and the brass pin
stuck in your waterfall fills me with
awe. Your forehead is smoother than
the elbow of an old coat; your ewes
are glorious. In their liquid depths 1
behold legions of little cupids battling
like . colbert of ants over straddle
bug. Your eyes penetrate my whole
anatomy as a load of bird shot goes
through q rotten apple. Sweetest
nectar fingers on your lips like molas-
ses on q hogshead. Your laugh fingers
in my ears like the music of harp
strings. The dimples in your cheeks
arc like hollOws in cakes of homemade
sugar. am dying to pour out the
eloquence of my love like bousewiyes
pour out hot coffee. | hear the early
June bug. dependency. buzzing IN my
cara. feel the cold lizards of despair
crawling down my back; my soul is
pierced with doubts like an old cheese
bored with shippers ; my love for you
Is stronger than the smell of patent
butter. or the kick of young COW
II you cannot reciprocate my soul
mastering passion, l will pine away
like q poisoned bedbug. and in the
coming years when the shadows grow
from bills. and the philosophic frog
rings his cheerful evening lay, you.
happy 10 anotheris love. can come and
shed . tear. and catch cold, upon the
last resting place of
&C. j.