Litchfield enquirer., 1880-02-05
CLIPPINGS.

Creditors and poor relations never call at the right non ' fnt ent y..7rsO r.riI8I
 - The New York Stock Exchange ought at once to build monument to ''Old Put"
 Begin to make up your mind who you hate had enough to send a comic valentine
 A Boston boy thinks that the dead languages were killed by being studied too hard.
 When man owes you, be polite and as often as possible send him his little hsly due.
 "Give the Indian show," says a western paper. "Yes; give them an amateur "Pina- fore" sr
 Spicer says his collar button is like the celebration of the Fourth of July-it is sure to come off.
 Says Jones, q hate fool" ''Yes," replies Smith. ''like hates like."s They meet as strangers now.
 Man may grasp and save, all through life, but it ends there, for all he takes when he dies in his departure.
 Brevity is the soul of wit. but it has to be stretched out a good deal sometimes to get enough for the uppers.
 A philosopher says: 'You require in mar riagc precisely the same quality that you would ln eating sausage-absolute confi- dence."
 The worst case of "stage fright" is that of the man who thinks he has passed up two dollar and a-half gold piece instead of dime to the driver.
 Who takes me py ter handtrund says: Hans Pfeiffer, how you vOs to-day ?" | Und goes for peesness right away. Der drummer. ~@s@~
 A French newspaper points out how the passion for gambling is shown in England, so that even in wedding noticeslt is necessity ! to state that there were mo cards.' Jones went out with his gun and dog the other day, and returning, a, German friend met him and, noticing the well filled game-bagg asked, "Was it coot shooting?" ''I didn't go for ducks, replied Jones.
 q. A dealer in musical instruments, in one of his advertisements declares that hls drums. among other articles that he has for sale, ''cant be beat. "t Will he be kind enough to { tell us what they are good for, then? It was at a temperance meeting The speaker increased in eloquence and noise, and he cried; "Yes. my friends, we'll lift our tem- perance vessel out of the mire and mud on to hard dry ground and then sail beautifully l along.p - s.i .tsl-,atl-,sus. .55nA14 A letter-wrlter says that. England. has scarcity of contrato voices. The New Or leans Picayune says: "As soon as the Pima fore season closes in this country America can send her over a few dozen assorted Little Buttercups. along with the American cheese and beef" '+'--'' i>-~
 "Have piece of cold lamb ?" asked the hostess and he took piece. Good glory lamb! Why, this is ten years old, and strong enough to buck man right out of his l chair" Then the wag on the other side of the because it's in it's second childhood.n-
 French wit: Terrible vengeance of hus- I band whose wife had gone of witllsa hand- somer man: Dear sir'' he writes Asplease hand the inclosed set of false teethfto my late wife, and ask her to be so good as to return my fathers. which in the hurry of the moment l she took by mistake " ,.. ' s | A college lecturer once remarked to hls | class: ''The passive action Of muscles is par Iticularly marked inlthe case of birds. who r clutchthelr perch merely in consequence sof their bodily weight. In removing fowl from a hcn@roost you have doubtless found it nec- essary to lift 1t. and" At this point the I class saw the point, s> I "A boy once took it in his head
 That he would exercise his sled. He took his sled>int the road s I
 And, lord a nassy how he sloCle. - t--l And as he slid he laughing crieda- -bs'F <in,l 1 ''What fun upon my sled to slide"
 And as he laughed, before he kuewed, a9t He from that sliding sled was slude.
  | r, Upon the slab where he was laid | They carved this line: "This boy was slade |" I Figaro has new version of the fable of the
 dog who saw his visage reflected in the brook
 which is more applicable to modern life than
 the original, Aldog carrying stolen beef
 steak in his mouth, comes to a limpid stream whicif reflects eurrounding objects as clearly
 as a mirror. Perceiving the refiectd image of himself, he thinks of seizing the piece of meat | it holds, which he supposes to be real, but
 concludes that it would be more prudent first
 to devour his own piece. Then he looks again in the stream. The reflected dog has rn ,thingin his teeth, 2 aud expresses the satis- faction of contented stomach "Ha" says
 the dog, that fellow had the same idea I had. :. And he runs away laughing.