The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-11-24
NOVEMBER "a.
VARIETIES.


Some defendant of Solomon has
wisely remarked that those who go
to law for damages are sure TO get
them.
When you say that girls hair is
as black as coal, it is just as well to
specify that you do not mean a red
hot coal.
In the first transports of delight
the happy father rushed into the
room, exclaiming. "pve got a son !;
it's boy"
A town in Oregon is named
"Looking GLASS;" and lots of women
are going there. It's a place they
like to see themselves in.
Everything depends on definition.
"My daughters" said a proud
mother, "are innocence itself you
can say anything before them and
they won't blush"
Very sweet the mem'ry of
Ruby lips that have pressed
'Gainst my own, red-warm with love
burning underneath my vest.
Than this flaming, mutual love
There is something sweeter yet;
'Tis the fadeless mem'ry of
Kisses that failed to get,
1t is assumed that the amount of
fractional currency lost or destroyed
is $S,376,O0O, and this amount is set
down as clear gain to the govern
ment, or to the nation.
Eyes, yer riverince, ali thin names
he called me, an siz |, 1 would de-
name meselt to lose me temper wild
such low blaggard,' so l jist
Knocked him over wild me stick and
ken away"
AT a certain boarding house the
fellows are all in love with the land
lady's daughter, and since the old
lady heard that Glove can level rank"
she let's her daughter serve the but
ter to the guests. But it doesn't
work
The young vile and the old friend
"Have you seen my pipe, love ?"
"Do you mean your meerschaum,
darling +? Here it is. inside the fen
der. It smelt sp OF that horrid to-
'bacc0 TfaT washed It fofyou
London Punch.
A woman accidentally went to
church with two bonnets on her
head-one stuck inside the other
md +ho othnr ,v.,p,ao fu 4bo ooD~vo
CATION almost died of envy. They
thought it was new kind of bon
net, and too sweet for anything.
"Pa," asked wide awake boy,
"did you ever see book worm p
eyes, my child" replied the parent.
After pause that fairly made the
castor oil bottle dance with delight,
the young fellow shuddered and
affrightedly asked, do little boys
have EN- ?"
"Do, do keep away from that win
dow" said he. "But Pm not afraid
of the lightning" replied she, "Ah
dear" continued the youth tranti-
cally, "little do you realize how at
tractive you are" And having
made this appeal, he was able to
conduct FER away.
"Charles" she whispered. "vou
are my idol, at whose feet l am ever
eady to worship, oh if you were
taken from me, or if 1 knew that you
suffered, would die would die y
About that time the old man drop
ped down on them, lifted Charles
with boot, shot him over the fence
like Roman candle and made him
think he had been run over by a
lawn mower. Fifteen minutes later
the fair maid was back in the pantry
hard at work on ham bone and
yet, there are persons who actually
believe that love lives to the last.
"Young ladies have the privilege
of saying anything they please dur.
ing leap year," she said, cycling him
out Of the corner OF her eyes with a
sweet look. His heart gave great
bound, aud while he wondered if
she was going to ask him the ques.
ton which he had SO long desired
and feared to do, he answered, Eyes"
"And the young men must not re-
fuse" said she. mo, no! how
could they" sighed the young man.
"Well, then" said she, twill you
take a." He tell GU his knees and
said Anything you ask, darling"
"Wait till get through. Will you
take a walk, and not hang around
nnr hnnsa so mnchn He walkad