The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-09-17
The American Brass Band.


Medical men are fond of finding il
some one particular cause the origin
of all the evils to which the race i,
subject. At one time they assumed
that the great first cause of disease wa.
the adulteration of food, and they con
clusively demonstrated that every ar
ticle of food consumed by. civilized
man was adulterated with unwhole
some and poisonous ingredients suf
fcient in quantity and quality to pro.
duce death in rather less than twenty
four hours After while the public
tired of hearing of the adulteration OF
food, and tho doctors then took up
the fascinating topic of sewerage, and
informed us that all our houses were
filed with sewer gas to such an extent
as to render it certain that we must
all die of typhus fever, diphtheria.
cholera and several other choice as
sorted diseases in the course of six or
eight weeks. Now we hear great
deal less about sewer gas than we
were forced to hear two or three weeks
ago, and the contamination of water is
the favorite topic of medical and sani-
tary writer's It seems that, with per-
haps one or two exceptions, every
we'll, cistern, spring and aqueduct in
the country contains the germs of
thirty-eight distinct and deadly fevers,
besides those of nearly all other promi-
ment and popular diseases. While it
is, of course, creditable to the doctors
that they have discovered that food,
sewer-gas and water are each the sole
cause of all diseases, it is odd that
they have failed to notice the deadly
nature of the American brass band. It
is nearly time for them to find new
scapegoat to take the place of contami
mated water, and there is no doubt
that the brass band will prove per-
fectly satisfactory substitute.
The chief reason of the fatal character
of our brass bands is the fact that they
are, with very rare exceptions, con-
structed on the model of the bands in
use among African native kings, which
consist entirely of drums and tin horns.
Our band-masters appear to be as
ignorant of reeds as is the King of
Uganda. Instead of employing clarion
cts to carry the melody, and depending
upon brass instruments for harmonic
effects, they use cornets exclusively, and
then try to drown the shrek and blare of
those execrable instruments with big
bass drum. To the American, as to the
pative African mind, a band consists of .
drum and miserable apology for horn.
The other brass instruments seem to be
added only to increase the volume of
sound. and are rarely permitted to form
anything but the simplest chords with
the cornets.
The drum is. of the two, more impor-
tant in the American brass band than is
L ,1k Ices,
that his business is to conduct the band,
other object than that of marking time.
He does this so steadily and conscien-
tious1y that he renders the conductor
with his baton entirely superfuous, and
compels the other instruments to sink by
comparison into insignifcance. There
are times when the occasional note of the
bass drum is tolerable, and in certain
passages syncopated notes may be struck
by the drummer with really fine effect.
In the American brass band, however,
the drum recalls the sweet music of a
lumber wagon humping over rough
road, and imparts to the entire band the
musical character of machine shop in
busy operation.
The effect of the brass band upon the
health and spirits of community where
it prevails can be ascertained with very
Investigation, and even DIR. Tracy could
probably find out something about it in
the course of ten or fifteen years of care
full observation. It is of great use tc
unprincipled otel-keepers in confusing
the mind of the public and paralyzine
its will. For example, there is hotel al
the head of Lake George, where the
steamboat from the lower end of the
lake and the stages from the railway sta
ton stop before proceeding to the Other
hotel. Whenever a stage or steamboa;
is sighted the astute< Motel keeper orders
his band to play. It is probably one O
| the most deadly bands in the country
and the traveller who hears it straight
way becomes wholly unable to perform
the smallest process of thinking. Ht
| may have previously determined to go tt
another hotel, but with the awful strains
of the brass band ringing in his ears, hs
falls an immediate and helpless prey to
horde of colored walters, and is led intt
the hotel, busted, assigned to q room, anG
taken to dine with the other prisoners il
the great hall before he realizes his con
dition. The power of the American
brass band to produce mental imbecility
and total loss of will-power, is an evi
l WHICH Ct1nuOb OC OfCI-C0tl1udUc0, 0AS
which can be combated only by the com
plete suppression of the band.
Many people imagine that the disorder
which frequently disgraces excursion
parties is due to intemperance. On the
contrary it is due to the inevitable brass
band. Men may embark on board al
excursion steamboat where not drop o
ardent spirits can be oh. ned, and afte
hearing the brass band play the 'sMulli
gan Guards" and whoa! Emma" fiftee1
/ times each, they fall upon one another il
frenzy and fight like tigers. Can an,
one point to fight which has takel
place on an excursion steamboat wher,
there was no brass band in active opera
| ton? OF course, no one can. It is, then
the fatal influence of the band which
leads the mild tailor to rise up and harm
the unoffending shoemaker, and trans
forms the peaceable baker into blood
/ thirsty maniac It is in vain that th,
/ police authorities try to keep the peace
where brass bands exist. It cannot b,
done, for the baass drum and the corne
will induce even women to tear eacl
others hair and to throw camp
stools at men who have not ever
been formally introduced to them