Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-07-02
ODDS AND ENDS.
Mark Twain is fond of figs.

New York spends S5O,OOO for flowers
on New Years Day.
A singing fish has been discovered. 1t
has chromatic scales.
In the Louisville market report mules
are reported active. That means wealth
for the coroner.
The demand for chairs that Washing
ton once sat in is keeping the furniture
makers very busy.
The New Haven Register is right in
saying that it is foolish to put sugar on
strawberries. There's sure to be sand
enough il them, anyway.
1t is the drummer who can make the
merchant uneasy by flirting with his
wife, that gets an order quickly, and
can by those means visit several towns
day.
A number of English statesmen are
afraid to have a monument to Prince
Imperial put up in Westminster Abbey,
but they were not afraid to have him go
out and fight for them.
The Maud Mullers in tableaux all
want to wear pretty dresses and fancy
stockings and shoes, forgetting that it
was "Maud's feet so bare and her tat
tered gown" that made point on the
judge.
A wealthy manufacturer of Connect
cut, having built an elegant mansion and
wishing to take a second wife, said to his
architect (Which agrees best with
brick and brown stone, brunette OF
blonde?"
eff l have ever used any unkind
words, Hannah" said Mr.. Smeley, re-
fectively, 81 take them all back"
Yes; suppose you want to use them
over again." was the not very soothing
reply.-N. H. Register.
When q man becomes so hardened
that long term in New England State
Prison won't do him any good they send
him off on whaling vovaget to be mold
ed over, calculating that the captain will
either kill or cure him.
The friends of a murdered man in
Texas played very sharp ruseto avenge
his death few days ago. They simply
gave out that the murderer was a horse
thief, whereupon a crowd collected and
hanged him upon the first limb. - Puck.
A child near Garden City, Mimi, died
from the effects of eating thirteen gum
caps, two pumpkin seeds and two pieces
of raw dried apple. 1t is not believed
that the pumpkin seeds and the apple
were any injury to the child. The caps
would have killed it anyway.
A girl who is red-headed and cross
eyed and wears number eleven brogans
can be advertised all over the country as
a beautiful creature, by committing some
crime. Who ever heard of a female
horse-thief or murderess who wasn't just
lovelyP
A little fellow turning over the leaves
of a scrap-book, came across the we'll
known picture of some chickens just out
of their shell. He examined the picture
carefully, and then, with a grave, saga
cious look, slowly remarked, They
came out COS they was afraid of being
boiled"
A minister was questioning his Sun
day-school concerning the story of Euty-
chus-the young man, who listening to
the preaching of the apostle Paul fell
asleep. and falling down was taken up
dead. "What," he said, 'do we learn
from this solemn eventP" when the re-
ply came from a little girl, pat and
prompt, "Please, sir, ministers should
learn not to preach too long sermons"
The butcher had toiled painfully and
, wearily up the two long flights of stairs
that led to the Hd1Ubeye sanctum, anC
handed the patient but impartial editor t
bill and a poem. Take them away,
said the man of the quill, 81 reject then
q both; your poem is just like your steak
f it's stuff" "It's-?" queried the butcher
, "It's tough" was the cruel reply; ant
the convention adjourned until to-mor
row, to give the committee on credential
e time to report.
: Canada by no means sets an exampl
y of simplicity at Queen Victoria's draw
+ ing rooms. A Canadian bride, who wa
5. recently presented on her marriage, wor
! train of cloth of gold, and an und'l
1t train of white illusion, fastened wit
II gold ctrd and tassels; a petticoat
If pearl duchess satin, garnished with ye
n low pearls; and stomacher of mothe
IS of-pearl and seed pearls, fastened wit
,t handsome coral and pearl clasps; and
head dress of coral and diamond spray