The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-07-08


The Indians are ready to bury the hatchet
whenever the agents will give them gun.
-BlOumington Eye.
There would be more Arctic expeditions
IL there were women at the poles Ci,aciIs-
matt Saturday Night.
The man we ought to "no"-The beat
who endeavors To borrow money.-Cfncin-
matt Saturtlay NtgAt..
To prevent cattle from jumping -Confine
them at the very beginning of the SPRING
Cincinnati Saturday Night
. Getting up Holding ammonia
10 the nose of person in a fainting fit
BOstOR Journal IF Commerce.
The day wore on. Well, what did it
wear ?-Erclasge. Wore the close of the
day, of course. Syracuse Sunday Times.
We once knew a newspaper man who
owned q watch --Nep UdDen Register.
Dog?-Yoskers Gazette. Stem-winder or
open face ?-BIOomington Eye.
"H 1 should met the dastardly rebel that
sAot me, said Boston war veteran, on
drAwing 8 600 in pension arrears, "he'd
have to swallow half u bottle of wine"
A Chinaman named Charles Chin has
taken out naturalization papers in order that
he may vote. As if there were not enough
chin IN politics before.-ROme Sentinel
"SAm, why don't you talk to your mas
tsr, and tell him to lay up treasures in
Aeaven2" whats de use of him laying
up treasures up dar?" replied Sam. 50 He
nsver see um again"
"I men suffin Albumin" remarked an
aesd negro, who sat at o campfire, toasting
his sxtrsmities. ''Gosh ! p" he added, in a
moment, with wild yell ''it's dis niggah's
own nfoot."-Burlington Hapkeye
Since the introduction of female post
masters . girl goes up to the window and
says: "Is there letter for Miss Margaret
postmaster, "here is one from john Nc
Jones."
4 Peoris man, carrying pistol in his hip
pocket, accidentally discharged it, killing his
mother-in-every-spec trouble, and now
an The young married men go about town
with ominous-l looking weapons strapped to
hem--6l'o"stSgton Eye.
Doctor Cooking learned and speaking
A0wiy)-''Wel, mariner, which tooth do
you want extracted ? Is it the molar or in
cisor2 2" Jack (short and sharp)-It is in
the upper tler, on the larboard side. Bear a
band, you swab, for it is nipping my jaw
Ike lobster" f.Fk sFETEs
"What is the worst thing about riches 2"
aslced the Sunday school superintendent.
Aud the new boy In the bad class under the
gallery, who only came in last Sunday, stood
up and said, 'Their scarcity" And in his
confusion the superintendent told the school
10 -. nd Sfn ho oI,,
dren-"
A succession of direful shrieks is heard
ON the first floor Fond mother What is
the matter with Billy ?" Colored servant
% Please, mann, he is cryin' about de jewber-
RES" He can't have any more: He has
bad four saacer-fulls already" % Dem
Is the berry ones he is whoopin' about. He
is all swOlled up. - Gatpesto7s Neaos.
Young mau, never lose your presence of
mind when you are in q trying situation.
When you take the girl you love to picnic,
and you wander away together to commune
with nature, and she suddenly exclaims,
"Oh, George, there is an ant down my
back, don't stand still with your mouth
open don't faint don't go for the girls
mother; 90 for the .-AidaletOaon IraH-
scriR.
buOuiu uhc W nave you ThiSc u
said seyen-by-n nine book canvasser to a
daughter of Erin, as he stood on the front
step, trying to talk her to death on the sub
iect of the Z" Extinction of the Tribes of
the Seventh Century" 81 will" said Bid
dy. ~ she reached around behind the door,
. but bad luck to your picture if you're lin
gering around here when get it raised"
He didn't inger.
Washiugton's father was never known to
use ,,rofsne words. The nearest approach
to it was when George confessed that he had
cut down his fayOrite cherry tree. Wash
ington, Sr., feeling his loss very deeply, i'm
,n-diately went to Mary, his wife, and ex-
claimed: Is Ny best cherry tree has been cut
down, by George i"-Ydsoc06 Struuss.
Georges wife, however, did not always take
things no philosophicaIly. Often when he
va, unfortunate, Nary Custis mean luck
Richmond VG.) Baton.
The butcher had toilsd painfully and
wearIly up the two long fights of stairs
That led TO ths Haackeye sanctum, and
LANDED the patient but impartial editor
bill and poem Take them away" said
the man of the quill. II reject them both;
yonr poem is Just Like your steak, it's
stuf" "It's =?" queried the butcher.
'Ir's tough" was the cruel reply, and the
convention adjourned over until to-mor-
row, to give the committee on credentials
TIME TO report. .,.f--