The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-01-22
BRTG-1i-BRdC.'.. ;.

lnow-a+dys is vial stuff.
If the is really money any man
ought be worth his wait in gold.
"A Western paper refers to another
as "oulpccasionally cstccmcd contcm-
porary.t -.
IA cmpeting hotel out West says
gcnerouiy. OF another that cit stands
withouttrrival."
Boy. who are granted the the ut
most tTGdonl OF the streets are like the
sands o1itG-they run out
Win q man gets the rheumatism
III his krcs he knows the beauty Of a
gate winout hinges.
-Acclircmcnts arc often mistaken
for abiliics. There is difference in
the valu of silver and plated ware.
"A Syracuse boy puts his sisters
switch i,to cannon for wadding. lie
saia 1t vas the proper thing to bang
The New York I13batnc saws Garces
Ions character is in his face, but none
clsewhec. Certainly, he had mono for
sale; by he had grit to spare.
-Whn key was called for and the
gentleman pulled out a corkscrew,
key thatunlockcd his gait.
.-"I lave theory about the dead
iangun@s,". said now student.
What is it?" said the professor.
.lhat tiey are killed by being studied
:-Anlndianian said to Young man
who clEtled bin upon his bald head:
young man when my head gets as
SOFT as yours can raise hair to SELL"
-Eacl of Queen Victoria's journeys
from England to Scotland costs Sl0,-
uOo on fccount of the excessive prccau-
ions tafen that no accidents may be-
fall hcr.@
1t is vulgar to tell q man he lies.
just inbrm him il, your sweetest man
nor thatthc prodigality of his assertion
is beyond belief.
DO lot lend your paper and cheat
the printer. People who do not Day
tor the ppcrs they read hive the hard
est kind Of times trying to get to hcav-
ell.
-Hov is it in fashionable weddings
that we always have catalogue of the
BRIDES wearing apparel, while we nev-
or near OF the groom having so much
as q new pair of socks?
We suspect that there are men III
NcW York who would willingly give
SloO,oQ0 for I" seat in the New York
STOCK exchange, who rarely give cent
toward securing one in The heavenly
kingdom.
At Colorado lynching they had a
brass band in attendance, which played
selections from "Pinaforc." The Dris-
0ncr said he was wiliin. to die, and
ala all he could to help along the prep
arations.
-Ihe Grcenbackcrs in preamble
10 the call for national convention.
say: owe have reached u crisis in
our coontry's history and an epoch in
human affairs" This is important in
showing just exactly how far we have
got y ''0
Joshua Woodbury. made a record il
the year l76l that he had just set out
two apple trees "tor postcrity's sake"
me trees still stand on farm at Capc
Elizabeth, Cumberland county, Me.
ahd TINS year bore two barrels Of good
apples. s.. =.
-.'Papa, they don't have any stone
in ireland, do they?" asked q little
is:a'seA seAss,@ @IffS'poF; 'DuG Mnv 40 -vo,1'os,e-
such q qlcstion?" "Bccauso. nona N1
thought it was all shamrock over
there" o'o'
1.-THE prudent man sceth the dan
ger afar on andcth HIMSELF" was the
teXt thG village clergyman took before
oescenoihg the cellar stairs, after
catching glimpse Of huge donation
party looming up in the distance.
"A Jersey man was once thrown
a hundred and fifty feet by an express
tram, When he picked himself M,
looked around for his hat and remark
ed: "Well, it l don't find that hat iii
make tae company pay for it,"
"A dentist in Bristol, Vt, recently
received by mail an order for a set cf
teeth which reads Us follows: ttNfv
mouth is three inc>es across. 6vc.
eighth inches through hc law. Somc
hummoeky on the edge. NShaped Ike
a horseshoe, toe forrard.. NSou want
to be more partiklar shah have to
come thar" w.
In China mothers are uhSill;np
to allow the arms Of their daugEer to
be scratched with the lancet Of &cc;.
nation, because unless q Chinese NJ;
has few marks on her face, giYiy
evidence that she has had smallpoM
she is considered as lacking one ofthc\
chief qualifications ola marriagcablc
maiden.
eyes, sir, I have stopped drinking
for whole year." said q young man
to companion last night. "I have
sworn that for 365 days, my friend, l
shall not drink u drop" "But you
scc," replied the companion. ''that
this, being leap year, has 366 days"
"That's fact" unused the sworn-off
man, "Gucss I'd better select some
other year." and they went into q sa-
loon. =
"A bottle Divine was dug out Of
the ruins Of Pompeii the other day,
which had been buried eighteen hun
dred years. It will be opened soon at
q banquet and sampled. If age in
crcascs the flavor of wine, as is claim
ed, that bottle will be very aromatic,
and those who drink much of it will
60 homo in hack.
PRESERVE YOUR OLD BOOKS.