The Worthington advance., 1880-09-23
A WIFE'S CONFESSION.

minutes walk from the church and rec
tory. We had daily service at Doveton,
and nearly always attended it, and it
came to pass that Mr.. Cartwright invar1-
ably walked home with me. It was q
matter of custom now, and I thought
nothing Of it; it pleased him, and on the
whole It was rather pleasant to me also.
must confess, however, I was rather
surprised when, one morning as we got
to the avenue which led up to the Manor
House. Mr. Cartwright asked me to be
his wife.
have never been aole to find out why
l SAID yes, but did; perhaps thought
it pity to throw away so much love;
perhaps it was because he was so terribly
in earnest that I dared not refuse him =;
perhaps I feared that his pale face and
low, pleading voice would ever haunt me
If I rejected his love; or, perhaps it was
because he only asked me to marry him
--he did not ask me it loved him, for I
think he guessed I did not; perhaps it
was all these reasons put together, but
anyhow l said yes, and in due time we
were married.
I ought to have been very happy, for
he was most devoted husband, but I
was not, and though I did not notice it
then, I know now that for the first six
months after our marriage he was not
happy ether.
1t was all my fault either would
not or could not love him; I accepted all
his devotion to me as matter of course,
but / made no effort to return it; and I
am sure he had found Out that he had
made mistake in marrying a woman
who did not love him.
One morning, about six months after
our marriage, he told me at breakfast
that he intended leaving me alone for a
few weeks, to stay with his mother, who
was not very well. He watched the ef-
feet of this announcement On me, but
though I was really displeased, I con-
cealed my annoyance, and asked careless
~ when he would start.
He replied. the next day if l had no
objection, and so it was settled.
He was more af1ectionate than usual
that day, and was colder than ever; I
only once alluded to his journey. and that
was to ask if my sister Maud might stay
Will ue Wu1le lie was gone.
The next morning was anxious to
avoid formal parting, so drove to the
station with him, as the train moved of,
I remembered this was our first parting
since our marriage, and l wished I had
not been so cold.
When got home the house looked so
dreary and empty and there was No one
to meet me; presently one of the servants
came for the shawls, and with her Nero,
Mr.. Cartwright's retriever, which, when
he saw was alone, set up howl for
his master. I patted him and tried to
comfort HIM, feeling rebuked by his
grief, as he followed me, whining, into
the house. Every room seemed empty,
and each spoke Of the absent master.
At last wandered into his study, where
he spent his mornings and liked me to
sit and work; and now I remembered
how often I had excused myself, saying
preferred my drawing room, and this re-
Election did not add to my happiness.
There was photograph of me stand
ing on his writing table, and another on
the chimney piece; on the walls hung
two or three of my drawings, which he
had begged Of me when we were en-
gagged; indeed, the room was full of lit
tie remembrances of me; I opened a
book had given him, and in 1t was his
name in my handwriting, and under.
meath in his own, "From my darling
wife" I laid it down with a sigh, as t
thought how carefully he treasured
everything had given him, and how
little care I took of all his gifts to
me.
Everything I attempted, everything I
looked at reminded me of his goodness
to me-, and Of my coldness and ingratl-
tude to him. At last went to bed, and,
working myself into a fever of anxiety
lest he should not have reached the end Of
his journey in safety, I at length cried
myself to sleep.
The next morning I went down to my
breakfast with heavy heart, for I knew
I could not hear from him till the next
day; it seemed 80 strange to breakfast all
alone, and Nero seemed to think 30, too,
tor hs was unhappy, shifting about his
masters chair IN the most melancholy
manner.
Ny plate, for the first time since my
marriage, was empty, a. I sat down to
breakfast, for nv husband, who was an
early riser, always had little bouquet
% greet me with every morning; fire.
quently forgot all about 1t and lett it
to be put into water by the servant; this
morning I would have treasured it most
carefully If he had gathered it.
After breakfast determined to rouse
m nd ~ saSt nk L.
people in the village, 30 I filed my bas-
ket with some little delicacies for the
sick aud ret out.
Wherever l went it was the same sto:v.
all held forth on my husbands goodness
and kindness, for all had been helped BY
him In some way or other, and ali loved
and respected him. As I listened with
burning cheeks I felt a. if I was the on
ly person on earth who had treated him
with cruel ingratitude, and was the
very person whom he most loved and
cheriShed.
At last I went home, tired aud sick at
heart, but there was no one to notice I
was pale and worn.out, no one to get me
wine or soup to revive me, no one to
make me lie down and rest, as he would
have done had he been there. Oh, how
missed him! What fool had been
was there ever woman loved and cared
for a. I had been? Was there ever trend
70 ungratefuls Oh! why had ever let
him leave met l was sure he never
would come back. Why had he gone
awaya
And conscience answered, "You drove
him; he gave you all he had to give, and
in return you gave him nothing but cold
looks and unkind words; and 10 he left
you to seek leve and sympathy from his
mother.'
This thought almost maddened me. In
fancy I saw her sitting in my place BY
his side, loving and cafessing him, a. /
had the best right to love and caress
him. pictured her receiving tenderly
tho little loving acts had received 30
coldiy, and now I was seized with q
Jealous anger against her. mentally
accused her OF estrauging my husband