Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-10-07
Aa.ueruns Repartameat,

UNABLE TO MAKE A. TRADE.-The family
had only lately moved in the neighborhood.
A day or two after their arrival, the head of
the family went to grocer in the neighbor-
hood and asked the price of can of con-
densed milk.
Fifteen cents" said the proprietor.
Fifteen cents |" exclaimed the customer.
"Why, man alive, don't want to buy dozen
cans, but only one What do you ask for
half can, wholesale figures"
"Never sell half can"
81 reckon you never sell anything if you
mark your goods up that way. Suppose l
take one whole can, will you come down to a
diner
Fifteen cents is the usual price,"
"That may be with the unreliable transient
customers, but am an old citizen Of Calves
ton, and the sto, that catches my permanent
trade will have to be enlarged within six
months. Say dime, and throw in pound
or so of soda crackers, and it's whack."
"Do you buy good deal in the course of
the year 7" asked the proprietor, with sneer.
"Do buy good deal? should say did.
Why it won't be more than two months be-
fore III have to get another box Of matches.
The box am using from now is more than
half gone, and / only got it last February,
too. Say dime for the condensed milk, and
one of them stale watermelons thrown in as a
sorter of an inducement, and you can put
these two nickels in your burglarproof safe. /"
Fifteen cents is the lowest price"
Il wish you could see my backing brush.
1t can't hold out over Christmas, and then
am bound to negotiate for a new one. Throw
one box of blacking in with the condensed
milk and it's transaction
II won't do it."
Cali right! You won't do it. I'll just
keep my eye on you. I'll bet your stock is
insured for twice what it's worth, and you
are going to have Ere pretty soon. When a
merchant don't care to build up a trade he is
fixing to fail or swindle somebody somehow
Good morning, SIR Galveston Ne,os.
Worse OFF MAN THAN THE PRoDIGAL.-
In an alley off Hastings street, just back Of
the tumbledown rookery, member OF the
sanitary police squad found q man lying nn'
der wagon and inquired if he was i'll. The
man pointed to the old house, cautioned the
officer to speak low, and replied:
I'm the husband of the woman you see
hanging out clothes over there"
"And why are you hiding here?"
i've been off on spree for whole week.
"Ah! see. 1t is the return of the prod
igal."
"Wuss than that, sir. The prodigal had
no wife and he didn't steal the rent money to
get drunk on. Oh, I'll catch it, sir, if you
don't intercede for me"
But what can dos"
"You slip around to the front door of the
house and say that you have news for her.
Watch her face and see how she takes it.
Then tell her il is about me. Watch and see
if she gets white around the mouth. Tell her
that you have news that was drowned at
the ferry dock. Watch her tears at this
point. Tell her that called her dear name
as went down for the last time. Watch and
see if that melts her. If can get her all
broken down and overcome, I'll bust in on
her and get her forgiveness before she gets
over wiping her eyes and pulling her nose
b Go, now, and I'll owe you debt Of gratitude
all my life. l think Mary will melt under
your soft words"
The officer slipped around and told the wife
that her husband was hiding in the alley, and
then took position where he could witness
what followed. He had hardly secured it
when the man came down the alley on gal.
lop, followed at short distance by the wife,
armed with hoe-haudle. There were no
words spoken, but the man simply threw up
clouds of dust with his heels as he put on the
steam, and as he passed the officer he some
what curtly observed:
"Ah! but you amt worth shucks at the
melting business !'-Deiroit Free Press.