davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

"THAT's a stupid brute Of yours,
john" said a Scotch minister TO his
parishioner, the peat-dealer, who drove
mis- merchandise from door to door, In
a small cart drawn by donkey; Il
never see you but the creature is bray
ing" "Ah, SIR" said the peat-dealer,
"ye ken hearts warm when frien's
meet
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

The enormous sale of DIR. Bulls
Cough Syrup has had the effect OF bring
ing out numerous similar remedies ;
but the people are not so easily induced
to make trial of the new article, when
they value the old and reliable one
DR.. Bull's Cough Syrup.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

A POOR devil was walking The other
day on the Boulevards, in the piercing
cold, clad in q paletot made of very
thin stuff and Ornamented with two
large holes. one on the lett, the other
on the right.
"You must be frozen," remarked one
OF his comrades.
"No, replied the other; sand, to be
frank with you, do not even feel the
cold it enters through one hole and
goes out through the other"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

A HOUSE too closely shaded by trees
will be ap. TO suffer from dampness,
In building let the living and sleeping
rooms, as lar as possible, face towards
the South and thus gain the advantage
Of the sunshine. The sun is a great
preserver of health.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

You've man, we eat all rind here, "
said a boarding-house keeper TO a
boarder who was taking of the outer
portion of piece of cheese. "All
right" replied the boarder, ''l'm cut
ting this off for you"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

For COUGHS, Asthma and Throat
Disorders, use .'Bro,en's BroHchidl
Troches, having proved their efficiency
by u test of many years. limitations
are offered for sale, many of which are
injurious. The genuine "Bro'eH's s
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

"LEr's Illustrate it," Eiccoughed a
political orator. SITS beautiful. You
see, an old farmer comes TO town load
ed with new wheat, an he goes home
loaded with old rye"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

'MY dear Julia" said one pretty girl
to another, lean you make up your
mind to marry that odious Mr.. Snuffl"
"Why, my dear Mary" replied Julia,
81 believe | could take him at pinch"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

MANU- RE may be spread in the orchard
at any time. When the snow Is on the
ground sled can be used with advan-
tage, being lower than wagon, and
passing more easily under the trees.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

ais there much water in the cistern,
Biddy?" inquired a gentleman OF his
Irish girl, as she came up from the eel
lar. ''It is full on the bottom, sir, but
there's none at the top" said Biddy.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

Coal dealers perfer Newfoundland
dogs to any other breed. They weigh
more, and they sit quietly on the cart
while the load is on the scales.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

"ASYTHISG stirring this morningY'
asked a gossiping fellow, as he poked
his head into a neighbor's breakfast
room. Yes" blandiy replied the
gentleman of the house, a. he glanced
at the spoon with which he was stirring
the sugar in his coffee.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

An Irish editor, claiming the inven-
ton of everything from potatoes TO
potheen for the Green Isle. gravely
claims the pianoforte, and lie does II
thus: ''The pianoforte of the present
day is simply the Irish harp, placed
horizontally in a long box. and played
by machinery"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

SOME people will pay everything else
before they will pay atten.i)n. We
have often realized this When trying to
get of something smart.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

CRYING is prime evidence of pain.
When the Baby is fretful and inclined
to "Crying-Spells," remove the cause
by using DIR. Bulls Baby Syrup.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

"LEAvE my presence ~ she exclaim-
ed. Not much, 1 won't leave your
presents" he replied, as he scooped
'em into his Ulster, and silently stole
away.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

The subject of impression at first
sight was being talked over at the tea
table when the lady whose duty 1t was
to preside said, "shs always fnrme', AN
idea of person at first sight, aad .ound
it to be generally correct" Mamma, Z"
said her youngest son. In a shrili voice
that attracted the attention of all pres
ent, "Well, my dear, what is itI" re-
piled the mother" 81 want to know
what was your opinion when you first
saw me?
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

"LIFE is Short" observed the minis
ter. "That's exactly my fix" replied
an old hummer, as he got up and made
Tor the door.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17
Wanted.

Sherman & Co., Marshall. Mich. want an
agent in this county at once, at salary of 500
per month and expenses paid. For full par
ticulars address as above
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

The price OF soap is rapidly ad-
vancing. A years supply of DOB
BINS ELECTRIC bought now at
old price will be very judicious pur-
chase
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

VEGETISE.-By its use you will pre-
vent many of the diseases prevailing in
the Spring and Summer season.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

A FARMERS son In England, during
lesson in astronomy, was asked by the
teacher il he knew what was meant by
the milky way? He Indignantly re-
piled: "Why, sir, tits the whey as
comes from the cheese
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

"HAPPY to meat you," said polite
butcher to lady customer.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

How in the world can a floating deb
be paid out of a sinking tund?
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

WHAT kind Of juries are most danger.
ous TO our liberties? Why, peTjUries
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

Those answering an advertisements viii
confer n favor upon the advertiser and the
publisher by stating that they saw the adver-
fisement In this journal manning the paper.)
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

A YOUNG gentleman was accusing
another of having big mouth. Yes, J"
lid the other. ''but the Lord had TO
m AXE yours small 90 as TO give you
plenty of cheek"
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

PRupESTLy break up your Cold by the timely
use OF Dr.. Jayne's Expectorant an old remedy
for Sore Lungs and ThroGts. and certain eurs,
i've fer Coughs.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

WHAT vegetable does a great speRt-
thrift resemble? The leek.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17

JUDGE, sEvERELY-"How do you
know the defendant is married maj
Were you ever at his house?" mo,
SIR" do you know him personally ~
"No, SIR" ''DO you know his wife ~
mo, SIR" ''Did anybody ever tell
you they were married!" "No, sir {;
but when l see a man and woman come
to the same church regularly for three
years, occupy the same pew, and have
a hymn-boOk apiece TO sing out of, /
don't wan. to see no marriage certifl-
cate from them. l can swear to their
relation all the time." Verdict for
plaintiff.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-17
HUMOROUS.

REcENTLY a Methodist church in
Nevada expelled one of Its members.
He thought il the result OF the pastor 5
spite against hin, and, not TO be out
done In his devotions, he conducts them
at present in rather an original way.
He owns a saw mill near the church.
On Sunday he attaches to his engine
an immense steam calliope, with which
he makes his instrumental music, and
with the "Sweet Bye and Bye" browns
the voice OF the neighboring parson.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10

Look first at the great characteristics
of dairy cow-a large stomach, indi-
Gated by broad hips, broad and deep
loins and sides, broad or double chine
these indicate large digestive appa-
ratus, which is the first essential requi-
site to the manufacture of milk Sec
ondly, good constitution depending
largely upon the lungs and heart, which
should be well developed, and this is
easily determined by examination; but
the vigor and tone of the constitution
are indicated by the luster of the hair
and brightness of the eye, the horns and
the whole makeup. Thirdly, having
determined her capacity for digesting
surplus food tor making milk, look
carefully tothe receptacle for the milk
the udder-and the veins leading to it.
The COW may assimilate large amount
of food which goes mostly to lay on flesh
and fat, but if she has long, broad and
deep udder with large milk veins, it is
safe to conclude that her large capacity
for digestion and assimilation are active
in filling this receptacle. In fact the
udder is the first point to look at in a
cursory examination of COW, for nature
is not apt to create in vain. fit reaches
to the back line of the thighs, well up
behind, reaches well forward, is broad
and moderately deep, and teats well
apart and skin soft and elastic, it may
be inferred that nature has provided
means for filling it.
If the uddcr be small, round cylin-
der, hanging down in front of the thighs,
like six-quart pail, the COW can not be
a profitable mixer, whatever digestive
apparatus she may have.
Ayellow skin and a yellow ear Gnside)
are almost universally regarded as pres
ent in a COW that gives rich, yellow
milk; but, after you find the indications
mentioned above, you may admire as
many other points as you please-such
as first-elass escutcheon; a long, slim
tail; a beautifully turned, dishing face
a dropping waxy horn; small, straight,
slim leg, or any other fancy points; but
do not look for those till you have found
the essentials.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
Easy Divorce.

One of the most despicable instances of
European court etiquette is afforded by
the easy divorce of Count Won Hatfield
from his American wife, formerly Mrs.
Moulton, This lady was the daughter
of an Albany merchant and an actress,
Ceserina Metz. The Moultons lived in
Paris after 1862, and their sons wife,
Mrs. Charles Moulton Oillie Green
ough), became famous as a concert
singer and great favorite in the court
of Napoleon III; she is now the wife OF
the Baron Won Hegeman-Lindecrone,
Danish minister at Washington. Mrs.
Moulton was belle of the French court,
protege of the Empress Eugene, and
in 1869 married Count Won HATFIELD,
who was then German ambassador at
Paris. HATFIELD has been excluded from
court since his marriage, and, as it seems,
is now mean-spirited enough to truckle
to royal etiquette by divorcing his wife.
This sort of thing is out of place in the
10Th century. 1t is really matter for
International law, and has been since the
Patterson-Bonaparte affair. The princi-
pie that an American is royal ought to
be acknowledgement Republican.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
Bound TO Save Him.

A muscular and energetic negro revi-
valist is at work in Little Rock. 81 sees
a good many ole tufts in dis house." he
said, in one of his meetings, "an' wants
'em to come up ter de mOurner's bench
right now. Dey's got ter come. De
Lord doan say wish you would do any
thin, but says you's got to do it. Firm
ness is religion. De rock of ages is made
outen flint. Mr.. Johnson" said the
preacher, addressing a sinner, ''eome up
an put yer head on dis bench. Use
played kyards wild yer, but you'se got
ter reform. Come on tells you; is yer
comin'P" mo isn't" said Mr.. John
son. Den I'll fetch yer. You'se been
STAMINA off de preachers long 'nough."
The preacher left the pulpit, advanced to
where Mr.. johnson was standing, and
caught him by the collar. The two men
began struggling, and confusion pre-
vailed; but Mr.. johnson was dragged to
the bench.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
Central Park Joke.

A New York morning newspaper re-
Gently published letter purporting to be
from man who promised to kill himself
in the Central Park at o'clock that
afternoon He wrote that he would
shoot himself on the large rock on the
bank of the lake opposite to the mall
At 3 o'clock there was an unusual gath
ering about the mall and in the rambles.
A policeman says he counted seventeen
newspaper reporters. There were extra
details of police on hand, and a great
many persons who claimed to have wan
dered there by accident. When re-
porter stepped out on the rock thrill of
horror ran through the crowd, and some
persons put their fingers to their ears and
turned away. AT about o'clock a
spectator remarked that it was probable
that the man who wrote the letter was
in the crowd enjoying the scene, and
everyone went away,
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
A Wise Choice.

The other night, soon after a ward
meeting had opened, one Of the electors
present began edging for the door as if he
meant to leave the place. He was soon
stopped by friend, who said:
Don't leave us now, l want you to
hear what that speaker is saying. Hear
that He says we must triumph or the
country is doomed"
"Yes, l know, but I've got to edge
along towards home" was the reply.
"HomeP great heavens, how can you
talk of going home until he has finished
that speech! There he goes again! He
asks if you want to see grass growing
in the streets of our cities-our fertile
farms returned to the wilderness-our
families crowding the poor-houses until
there is no longer room to receive
anotherp"
mo, l don't know as l would, but /
guess I'll sort o. work my way out"
"Wait fifteen minutes ten five
wait until he finishes. There it is again
He askes whether you are freeman or q
slave? He wants to know if you have
forgotten the patriotic principles defend
ed by the blood of your grandsires--i
you have forgotten the sound of liberty
/ bell?"
''I don't know as have, but l must
go-really must"
"Hear that-hear that! He says YOU
country will bless you"
81 can't say as to that" replied tn,
man as he crowded along; "but In
dead sure that the old woman will if
don't git home in time to put this codfisl
to soak for breakfast"
Great guns! but do you prefer cod
fish to liberty?" exclaimed the other.
" don't know as do, but git NOR
ofl;"
"And you will see this country RUNE,
see her go to destructionp"
ed be kinder sorry to see her g
down HILL" slowly observed the delin
quent as he reached the door, "but
you had wife who could begin jawin
at 10 O'Clock and hot lose minute unit
daylight, and then end up with gran
smash of crockery and fit of Mysteries
you'd kinder stand off as l do and lie
this glorious old republic squeez
through some mighty fine knot holes. y
Detroit Free Press.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
A COrsican Vendetta.

One ofthe scenes ofbloodshed for which
Corsica has long been notorious occurred
lately at small village called Loreto.
Early in the morning people had assem-
bled at the house Of Susini, to attend the
funeral of his child. Just as the process
sion was about to form, a double report
was heard, the brother of the mayor of
the village having fired two shots at one
of the men who had come to the funeral
The friends of the man who had been
fired at armed themselves with guns and
swords and laid siege to the house of the
mayor, whose brother had taken refuge
there. A brisk fire was interchanged
between the besiegers and the defenders
but no great harm was done, and the
prime offender was able to steal away.
His nephew, however, a lad, came out
with gun to his shoulder and was at
once shot down by the attacking party
The gendarmes arrived in time to stop the
encounter before any more lives had been
lost; but several of the partisans on each
side have made their escape to the mour-
tains, where they will carry on war of
determination against each other.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
TapewOrms.

The organisms known as tapeworms
inhabit, as their special sphere, the in
testines of man and other warm blooded
animals-namely, quadrupeds and birds.
They attain a length of many feet; and
when scientifically examined, each is
seen to consist of, first a very minute
'head," armed with booklets and
suckers for adhesion to the intestine !;
second, of slender portion composed of
imperfectly formed joints, the so-called
meek; and, thirdly, of numerous fiat
tened '.joints," of oblong shape. The
joints" do not correspond to the joints
or segments of an ordinary worm
indeed, each joint is really semi-inde-
pendent animal; and the whole worm,
instead of being a single organism, is in
reality collection OF colony of beings.
The head" is the most personal part, of
this compound organism, since the joints
are produced from the head and neck by
process of budding" Each fresh
joint appears to be produced between the
head and the already formed segments.
And this process of growth proceeds con-
tinuously during the lifetime of the
organism.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
Finger Rings.

In earlier days medicinal qualities
were supposed to reside in the wedding
ring, capable of removing inperfections
of the skin, though in later ages it would
seem to be more effectual in developing
imperfections of the temper; in those
ages of easy faith ring which had
touched the skulls of the magi repcsing in
solemn splendor in the cathedral of
Cologne, would secure the owner against
the evil-eye, sudden death, or accident,
while that which bore the name of one
ofthose kings of the East, or had been
blessedby the sovereign on Good Friday,
was talisman, TO which the most fasti-
dious could not object, against cramps.
Legend and history meet about this little
hoop of gold, and enrich it with spell or
story, as the ancient jewellers beautified
it with elaborate chasings and precious
stones, with skillful labor lavished upon
cameo and intaglio. Nowadays 1t has
become a somewhat matter-of-fact orna-
ment; rustic lovers no longer break it in
halves rs an assurance Of constancy, bal
lad-makers no longer hang their rhyme
upon it; all the cunning of our improved
civilization cannot fashion us a ring
like Solomon's, which can seal the evil
genius of the times in jar; and what
goldsmith of to-day can warrant his
rings to render the purchaser invisible,
or to appease the injured gods if thrown
into the seaP
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
NEW ENGLAND NEWS.
Maine.

Ex-Gov. Abner Coburn is building three
story wooden mill at Skowhegan, which will
use up 1000, 900 brick.
A Boston man has bonded the Sedgeley
farm on Winthrop pond, and proposes to build
hotel there next summer.
George +. Kmball secretary of the citizens
relief association and clerk of the merchants
exchange in Portland, committed suicide a
few nights since, by hanging himself to beam
in the basement of the Western Union build
ing Deceased has been suffering for some
time with bronchial trouble which his friends
believe to be the only reason for the act.
Old Orchard is excited over a hotel sensa-
ton. Mrs. Clark of Biddeford had $40 stolen
from her room, and suspicion led to the search
of Mrs. Bernstein of Boston, but nothing was
found. Her husband resented the search, and
beat Clark and slapped his wifes face, and
then lodged the police by walking to Biddeford
and taking the train home, Mrs. Bernstein
following
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
Embracing an Opportunity.

A sculptor's wife had her husband ar
rested in Cincinnati the other day for
assault and battery, because, as she testi-
fed, on the occasion of her going to his
studio to inform him that the woman
across the way had eloped, he struck her
in the face with huge mass of mud.
The sculptor explained that the occasion
referred to was the first time for years he
had seen a pleasant look on his wife's
face, and therefore he FASTENED to take a
clay cast of her features, so as to catch
the impression for use on bust he in
tended to model. The court dismissed
the case.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-10
A PhilanthrOpie Man.

Among the last persons to dodge
through the gate and go on a crowded
ferryboat that was starting from the Full
ton ferry slip on this side of the river at
about 5 o'clock on a recent afternoon
was barefooted and ragged, but wide
awake newsboy, with bundle of after
noon papers slung over his shoulder.
He entered the mems cabin, and lodging
through the crowd, worked his way for
ward, shouting the names of the papers
that he had for sale. A dyspeptic-look-
ing individual, dressed likes gentleman,
growled out petulant NO" and added
that the lad had no business selling
papers there.
Come here, bub," said sturdy look
ing man, who looked like mechanic.
He bought paper and said loud enough
for the petulant man to overhear: "Some
crusty old dodgers would rather see a
boy starve than let him earn an honest
living"
"He's got no right to sell papers here, "
said the person for whom the remark
was intended. Its against the rules of
the company"
"Oho! amt we careful of the COM
pany's interestsP" said the other, good
naturally, and the passengers, who were
becoming interested, smiled in sympathy.
The dyspeptic-looking man was net
tied, and said testify: "You seem to be a
philanthropic individual, but l guess
could give that boy little more money
than you could"
Club, where are you?" the mechanic
called out, putting his hand into his
trowsers pocket and pulling out roll OF
money. That's a go. amt million
aire, butI'm derned if | don't see this
thing through Come now, put up OF
shut up" and as he spoke he placed a
dollar note in the hand of the astonished
newsboy. "Now go over to that gentle
man," he added, and hell give you
two"
A round of applause greeted the act
from the thoroughly interested pass
engers.
The petulant man was evidently un.
prepared for this turn in affairs, and he
endeavored to parley; but admonishing
cries came from all quarters, Don't try
to sneak out of it now" "Pay up like &
man." "Give the boy his two dollars.
"Stick to him, sonny" He hesitated {
moment, gazed helplessly around, and
seeing no chance of escape, hastily pro
duced $2note from weil-filled wallet
and with a sickly smile handed it to thu
boy. The mechanics eyes sparkled witt
pleasure. "Dern my eyes," he yelled
after the retreating figure, who wa
quitting the boat with the other passen
gers, 'I'll make it five more if you'll
say temp The challenge was not &C
cepted. Somebody proposed three cheer
and tiger, and they were given.-N. Y
S2tn