The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1880-10-21
Blood CurdIing Adventure in Barber
Shop.

To-day got shaved at q barber-shOp,
where begged the operator to kill me
and put me out of misery.
| have been accustomed to gentle
care and thoughtfulness at home, and
my barber OF Laramie handles me with
the utmost tenderness. l was, there
fore, poorly prepared to meet the man
who this morning filled my soul with
woe. L know that have not deserved
this. for while others have berated the
poor barber and swore about his bad
breath and never-ending clatter and his
general heartlessness, L have never said
ANYTHING that was not filled with child
like trust and hearty good will toward
him. | have called the attention of the
public to the fact that customers some
times had bad breath and were restless
and mean while being operated upon,
and then when they are all fixed up
nicely they put their hats on and light
a cigar and hold up their finger to the
weary barber and tell him that they
will see him more subsequently.
Now, however, l feel differently.
This barber no doubt had never heard
of me- He no doubt thought | was an
ordinary plug who didn't know any
thing about luxury. l shall mark copy
of this paper and send it to him. Then
while he is reading it will steal up be-
hind him with pick-handle and kill
him. l want him to be reading this
when kill him, because it will assist
the Coroner in arriving at the imme-
date cause of his death.
The first Whit | took of this mans
breath, l knew that he was runs mani
&C. He had the Jim James in an adj
vanced stage. Now, | don't object TO
being shaved by man who is socially
drunk, but when the mad glitter of the
maniac is in his eye and can see that he
is debating the question of whether he
will cut my head off and lett drop over
the back of the chair or choke me to
death with lather brush, it makes me
nervous and fidgety.
This man made up his mind three
times that he would kill me, and some
one came in Just in time to save me.
His chair was near the window, and
there was hole in the blind, so that
when he was shaving the off side of my
face he would turn my head over in
such position that | could look up in
to the middle of the sun. My attention
had never before been called to the ap-
pearance of the sun as it looks to the
naked eye, and was a good deal sur
prised. The more l looked into the
very center of the great orb of the day
the more | was filled with wonder at
the might and power that could create
it. l began to pine for death imme-
diately, so that [ could be far away
among the heavenly bodies and in a
land where no barber with the delirium
triangles can ever enter. The barber
held my head down so that the sun
could shine into my darkened UNDER
standing. until | felt that my brain had
melted and was floating around and
smashing about in my skull like melted
butter. His hand was very unsteady too.
L lost faith in him on the start when he
cut off the mole under my chin aud
threw it into the spittoOn. | did not
care particularly, but at the same time
[ had not decided to take it off at that
time. In fact / had worn it so long
that had become attached to it. 1t
had also become attached to me. That
is why [ could not restrain my tears
when the barber cut it of and then
stepped back to the other end of the
room to see how looked without it
Bill Nye, IN the DeHcer Tribune.