The Portland daily press., 1880-07-22
Nasby's Dream.
The CROSSROADS Statesman Has Vision
and Becomes Despondent.
Toledo Blade.1

Toledo Blade.
CoNFEDRIT Y ROADS (wICH Is IN THE STATE
wv KENTUCKY, July 10, 18S0-In all ages NV
the world dreems hev ben considered prophet
ic. Jon Bunyan yoosed the similitood of a
dreem to portray struggles and vicissitoods
Nv Chrischen life, and l alluz dreem when
anything especial is agoin to happen to the Dim
ocrisy. 1 differ from Bunyan in this; he didn't
dreem at all, but he writ ez tho he did, while
1 aotilly do dreem.
Last eyenin Bascom gave spread in honor
Nv the neminashen NV Hancock, and ez the
provender wuz free, and the lker likewise, 1
he'd, for wunst eggsactly all that my system
Good hold, and my system is trooly holder.
Bein very full, 1 went to my couch, troo
dimekratic Bunyan, to dreem.
In my dreem the Presdenshl struggle took
the very material form Nv a race. 1t wuz all
regeler, the two parties trottin out eech hoss,
the winnin post being the White House
The Dimocrisy trotted out their hoss and I
felt ruther pleased on the hull He came up
prancin with free sort NV step, and didn't
look ez tho he had blemish. Indeed he cum
up so gamey, that 1 really he'd faith in his
sucksess, tho the other hoss he'd winnin look
about him, and cum NV a stock that hez bin
winnin for so long that they hev noshen that
they can't be beet.
Our hoss wuZ under the groomin NV Senator
Wallace, Nv Pennsylvany, and he wuz backt
by the entire South and Tammany Hall, and
also by scatterin politikle sports from the other
States.
"Now,'' sed Wallace, Everybody keep
away, and don't spoil this race by eny cussid
foolishness. Iihev fittid this hoss myself and eff
ride him he's sure to win Keep clear NV him
and don't say word"
Hold on a minnit," sed long-haired fel-
Ter from Virginny. 1--WE hev got to hev some
assurance to justify us in backing this hoss,"
and he flung onto his back an enormous sack
labelled "Loosiana administration" and
jumped ON hisself to keep it in place.
"Jest minnit," sed a Pennsylvany Dime
KRAFT, He must carry this" and he heve on a
package labelled protective tariff" and he
climed on.
HE kin never run without this" said a Moo
Yorker, and he histed up very heavy sack
labelled free trade
Another Moo Yorker and Massachusetts
man climed up, each with very heavy pack
age NV honest money, and Injeany man
climed on with an immense bundle NV fiat
money. This he'd no.weight, but it took CRATE
deel Nv room, and them wich kerried it made
a crate deal NV noise.
jest afore the start gang NV ku klux from
Missssippy climed on, and despite Wade
Hampton's entreeties, South Kerliny rifle
enuff, John Kelly. with the entire Tammany
society, deliberately took seats ON his back.
Then came gang loded with Estate Rites.
and Catholic Bishop or two Sided into seats
jist where they could hold the reins, and ten
or a dozen Confedrit Brigadeers, wieh woodn't
take their yooniforms off, climbed up, and
full five hundred Southerners with demands
for appropriashuns hung on to his tail
Senator Wallace demonstrated, but it want
no yoose. Evry man NV em remarkt that eff
ha hogs Int Ear u xuatk r ind
was it eny how, and they all yelled "start
him."
The word wuz given, the poor broot made
convulsive stagger and immejitly went down
under the load that wuz put upon him. He
recovered, and managed to keep ON his feet till
he struck the fust quarter post, Ohio, when his
strength give ouS and he went rolling over his
miscellaneous load with crate effect The 9TH
er walked over the track and came in an easy
winner.
How could any horse run so weighted"
yelled Wallace in a rage. sit wood hev borne
down Ginrali Washington, let alone sich ginral
eZ Hancock. It's no yoose. The hoss wuZ good
enutf, but CRATE Caesar, wat lode he he'd to
carry''
While the crowd wuz strugglin to git out
from under the eggsaustid charger, awoke.
Is this dreem troo? Is Hancock to be load
ed with all these weights afore he starts? Is
ther no way NV keepin out Nv site what we don't
want to be seen till after the eleckshun?
L fear not. We are neither eZ wise ez SER
pints or harmless ez doves. 1t is providence
'agin u.s. We never yit he'd show for success
that we did not immejitly fool it away. The
radikels are forchunit in our stoopidity. They
hev lived onto it for ten years. Ell we only he'd
the sense to run Hancock on his style and mill
tary record and say nothin about anything else
or ef we Good keep our votin element out NV
site till eleckshun day, we mite go through
But ez it is, we are hopelisly gone up. My
heart is sad.
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
(despondent.)