The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-04-15
WAITS AND wHIsds.

tramp. sH5sfiG siaa Oh
LIVERY horses, belong to the hired
class of animals.
THE real paper duty-to pay your
subscription at once. tsoM elH.'
SHIPS are frequently on speaking
terms, and they lie to.
q A TRAMP called his shoes Corpora
tions," because they bad no soles.
|l THE Widows Home is with her Sec
ond husband as soon as she can get one.
NEVADA, railroads allow the Indians
to play around the cars The Indian has
no friends.
How we love the joyous springtide.-
Neio York Express. ShIshl Keep it
dark. q Does the springtide reciprocate?
lvo THE pork. raiser and the successful
| author are 80 much alike that they both
get their living by the fruits Of their
pens. no
-" HIEq we'll, Isguess he-does lie" said
hisneighbor Jones. tsWhy, he's SO fond
of lying that he won't let q clock strike
right in his house,
1 THE burglar alarm is q great. inven-
4 ton. It always warns the burglar in
season for shim to get 5out OF the way
before anybody can shoet.aa'aiT
WHENEVER a man prefaces remark
detrimental to another with, Il hate to
say it, but,".you may be sure ne is
dckled to death to say ito lzsA
TIGHT shoes are said by q Boston ocu-
list to make bad eyesight. L NoY we may
account for the fact that barefoot boys
see SO much that is going on. i9s2s
/ H"SoLDIERs must sbe ffezffully dis
honest,n said Mrs. = Darlington "It
seems to be an occurrence every night
for a sentry to be relieved OF his
watch.o
THE reason David employed Sing on
! Goliah was because he coulda' 'tget any
giant powder. f,ns 5asbissI9
H. ATENNEssEE man, can sopertly i'm
itate the sounds made by two dogs en-
1 gagged in fighting.4 that he can call
Memphis congregation ourof church in
three minutes $780,.
i THE total cost of the Zuluiwar is s5.-
! 1881 The total gain is--pshaw! we
have mislaid our memorandum. What
did you say the total gain was, Mr..
Beaconsfeld7 bra s4a4aomaI
THE Jersey City Journal asks; "Why
should it be necessary to kiss pretty
women in order to preach the gospel p
i Itisn't. There would Ibe fewer editors
and lawyers if it were, .4;ee
AN exchange says that Bonner used
to allow ,Beecher one hundred dollars
per week for writing for the Ledger, ad:
hb All, MFR. Beecher, it was the add
Lib. that foored YOU 9rs osi9
A GENTLEMAN sprang to assist her,
f7 And picked up her m,f and her wristeri
B6 B5a 1gS SSq tSinL tal %as9s9 sss lssd hs sFifd
al sat down for the fun otit mister?"
II .DocToR (examining) "a The action of
the heart is not good. Itbeats twice as
fast, as it should.p Son nof Erin" Be-
gorrahl An, it isn't the beating of my
heart your counting; eit's the ticking OF
my watch"
If you are very precise man, and
wish to be certain what Iyou get, never
marry a girl named Ann, for we have
} the authority of Lindley Murray and
others for the assertion that eAn is an
, indefinite article3,Is 81 zzgItf
-lg AN exchange refers to the language
! of the postage stamp. But, we do not
j think the postage stamp has any Ian.
: tguage that expresses anything. If it
!; had, we believe itwould holler "enough''
a when it is licked.
E HE was praying, and in his prayer he
: said, 81 pray that the power of Satan
' may be ,curtailed."- Just then, an old
q darkev in the congregation cried out,
I /" Yes. ameni Bress me. Cut'him tan
1 right smack, smooye off" q 30
. "THERE is a multitude of people ly-
n ing round about u.s." exclaimed an
: orator. All right, let. them lie; that
e won't hurt us. It's those that go
: around and tell the truth about US that
do the damage, unless we are better
q than most mankind.
e "MA," said an inquisitive little girl
a a "will rich and poor folks live together
a when they go to heayenp Yes, my
! dear, they will be all alike there,
e Then, ma, why don't rich ard pool
Q Christians associate together here z
y The mother did not answer.,s.s.
: "Is there any opening here for an in
p telleetual writer 7' asked a. seedy, red
y nosed individual of an editor. Yes
:. my friend" remarked the man of quilts
IL "a considerate carpenter, foreseeinf
E, your visit, left an opening Tor you
a Turn the knob to the right. /"
er DER this poor GAMBLERS silent clay,
J. Kind reader, do not gfieve,y yTSf
ie a. His death took place when johnson caught
le The aces up his sleeve " %
ie - - > --LeGdriue Episcph.
e SCIENTIFIC Gent with his hair OF
end, and the tassels Of the cords to hi
III dressing gown humping behind him a.
d he descends the stairs =" ye'y strange
ot But could almost swear-1 hear foo
L ELL u a%os