Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1880-01-16
FRENCH WITHOUT A MASTER.
The DISADVANTAGE IL Using Abroad a
Foreign Language as Natural,zed in
Connecticut.

Prentice milford has written in the
San Francisco Chroaio'e an essay on
French Without Master, in Six Easy
Lessons He says he took his lessons
from \ teacher in East Haddam. Conn.
"a man who would have attempted to
teach anything-and learned some very
good Connecticut French. II did not
serve very well in Paris, however.
First" says Mr.. Mulford, 81 inter-
viewed cabman. He invited me to get
into his cab and seemed to intimate
that he knew where wanted TO go. He
drove short distance and stopped be-
fore very ordinary appearing house,
| told him to drive me 10 the hotel in
Dictated in the guide-hook as situated in
the Rue Bouapsrte. The Rue Bona
parte came in sight, but no Hotel de
France, No. 81. The cab drew up be-
fore a large clothing establishment AT
this the driver pointed with an air Of
mingled triumph and cynicism. He
had been telling me all along that the
hotel had been tnrned into something
else, but me narrow limits of East Had
dam French had prevented me from
understanding him. | got ont with
my two carpet bags. l comprehended
the situation in an instant. My
guide-book was eight years old, and
was behind the times. Next encoun-
tered policeman. A friend had given
me the address of certain French
family living on the boulevard. All
desired of the policeman was word or
two, or better yet, gesture indicating
the direction Of the boulevard. But
brevlty and conciseness are not to be
expected from the average Frenchmsn.
This official was civil and obliging, but
he inundated me with II torrent OF
words. 1t seemed to mo rs il he had
been dying TO talk to some one, and this
was the first opportunity for many days
He talked with his tongue, his eyes, his
hips, his arms, his shoulders, his ell
bows, and the points of his mustache.
thanked him, but was unable 10 ex-
tract the secret of the locality of the
boulevard. applied to another with
similar result. | longed for some qui.
ct, taciturn man like Grant, who could
have told me what | desired by mere
wave of the arm.
Mr.. milford next entered restau-
rant. Says ne: when fairly in | dis
covered the dining.room to be or the
second floor. felt obliged to go up,
because my French without master
gave me no words TO decline the invita-
ton. Forty Frenchmen were at break
fast at one long table. A waiter poured
upon me torrent Of unintelliglbllity.
1t was the verbal bill of fare. for there
was no written bill of fare. said u
word or two in the East Haddam patois.
OF course he couldn't make that out,
but | did understand him 10 ask me if
| was German, which alarmed me
considerably, since this occurred only
three years after the siege of Paris.
! noticed that the linguistic torrent
sounding like Marengo. caught mt
this and said: "Oui, marengo.' He
brought me not marengo, but murin-
got-stewed veal well gravied and very
good Twice he discharged the next
course at me. The third time caught
the words p0nlme de terre-potatoes.
Porter, the pomnae dc terre, | said. The
man OWNED what meant, and there
fitted the ghost of n grin on the faces
of the forty Frenchmen mt the long
tables. He brought me potatoes only.
fast, for / noticed many good things On
the plates of my neighbors, but my in
fernal French without master, with
the additional burden ofthe East Had
dam patois, prevented me from calling
for anything else. Well, ate my po-
tatoes and he came again and torrented.
We had now reached the dessert. /
understood that, for it commenced to
crop out on the plates about me.
Finally caught at the word frontage
(cheese)-in the East Haddam patois
pronounced 'frym-aitch.' | said |
would take some. He desired
to know what variety of cheese ! would
have, and called out his cheese pro-
gramme. | desired him simply to
porter and fromage,' which mean.
carry me cheese and again the wan
ghost Of smile fitted over the faces
of the forty Frenchmen. 1t makes me
tremble to think what my tongue
might really have uttered at that table
III TIT pdlOlS vi IIdst IiduuhiHs lutJ
kindly led me, after finishing this mi
tiatory breakfast, down stairs to the
compton, where j paid my bill TO the
smiling lady cashier. They then open
ed the door and set me adrift.
cone evening ! wanted a nutmeg-I
desired TO astonish French friend with
a punch Americaine-and the cap.sheaf
to this, Of course, is nutmeg. | went
into French grocery and tried to call
for nutmegs, but my French without a
master was deficient in nutmegs.
pointed to all the drawers in the spice
department. Everything aromatic and
spicy was there save Lutmcgs The
whole force OF the store tried 10 COM
prehend me. The customers also took
hand in trying to comprehend me.
pantomimed an imaginary nutmeg on
an imaginary crater. They flew for
soap-all varieties, long bars. short
bars, soap Castilian, soap fancy, soft
soap. II was astonishing to me then,
the French could talk relating TO things
| did not want Discouraged, | vert
out. Suddenly an inspiration seized
me. In the gutter saw bit OF cork.