Morning journal and courier., 1880-06-03
Price Four Gents.
uNcoNrEsrED.

It takes sixty days to cure ham properly It is then recovered and is ready for con- sumption.-N. o. Picayune.
 Farmers do not hear the cornstalk Neith- CT do men who wear tight boots. But there are some things which speak louder than words.
 The beauty of the Episcopal church ser vice lies in the fact that man can confess himself miserable sinner without feeling lonesome.-Phila. Sunday Item.
 The only difference between Izaak Walton and his disciples is this He used to catch fish and then talk about it, and they talk about it without doing the ishing.-Boston Transcript.
 The travelling salesman of St. Louis gro cery house was violently kicked on the cheek by mule one day last week in Indianapolis People who subscribe to the belief that mules neversdie should take the first train for h. dianapolis and free themselves from the chains of an exploded superstition. .-Chica- go Tribune.
 man passing along a road saw a country man standing beneath @ persimmon tree holding in his hands pole raised aloft with little pig attached to the end, which was feasting upon the persimmons in the tree. He asked What are you doing there ?" Sister Sal is goin' ter git married, an Pm 1 fattenin,< <fhis pig for the weddin'." MonsieursX. and his spouse dine together
 
 bottle of Bordeaux, in which is left a scant half glass of liquor, and prepares to empty it into his own tumbler. Don't, darling, don't" cries his wife, who is superstitious If you drink the last drop of that wine, you will be married again before the year is out, and love you too much for that" And she empties the wine into her own glass and losses 1t of.
 They were looking at the hippopotamus at the aquarium. Said she: Augustus, dear did you say that was horse ?'' ''Yes duckie I did; river horse" ''Well, isn't he made up wrong, or deformed. or something of that sort P ''Oh, no; that's the only model blood they have in Africa he isn't very pret- ty, is he?" ''Well no, not very; but do you know he reminds me of you sometimes, Au- gustus, dear ?" 'How, dearie :? When he shuts his eyes and drifts into those deli cious phases of reverie ?" Mo- you old bless ing, it's when he yawns."
 'sI doan' go cent on de man who am waitin' fur sunthin' to turn up," began the old man, as services were opened. ''Dar was ole Uncle Luke. He waited, an waited, an waited, an at last sunthin' turned up. Itwas de ole mans toes! Oar was big Ben Small ley. In de spring or de fall in winter or in summer, in good times or in bad, he was allus lookin' for sunthin' to turn up It nev- CT occurred to him his own efforts would count for anyin, but he'd sit, an sot an sit l an toast his big shins an'fu up Indian 1 meal and wait for sunthin' to turn up All dat eber turned up for him was a sentence of six months in de workhouse. Oar was Sir John Donkey who was well known to moas' of you. He was waiter. He'd sit on de fence an plan air castles, an den fall off and find hissef in de mud. He went to bed at night an got up in de mawnin wid feelin' dat sunthin' would turn up. P'rhaps you remember what did finally happen His ole woman ran away wid better man, an Sir John turned up at de bottom of de riber. tell ye dat waitin' an 'spectin' an wishin' doan' pay. One good days work at dollar an half will put mo shingles on de cabin roof dan all de waitin' dis side ob de grave. We will now distract de regular purceedins ."-Detroit Free Press.