The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-03-08
Alderman Kennedy.

"Wlll you walk into my pafior, SAID the
spider to the fy."-or words to that
effect. The aged Joseph, of ancient
memory, should refer oftener to his his
torieal records and refresh bis recollection.
Joseph is as unaffected and guileless as
child-in fact, the very personifcation of
truthful sim plicity When didst thou
ever see me do an unmannerly act, says
the gentle Joseph didst thou ever
see me approach an Alderman and solicit
him to assist in grinding my little ak. Oh
no. none of these things canst thou say l
have done. The Democrats all come to
me like little children to a father-I am
their Moses to lead.them to the promised
land. l never ventured upon any devious
and untrodden paths. | never schemed
to compass ends by tortuous means. |
never buttonholed Democrats and sent my
friends to bring them into my little sane
tum-my friends do this unbidden and
unknown to me- | assume an air of sur
prise-I am ignorant of the cause which
brings them there, and 10 my ignorance
OF their coming | graciously ask, what
tidings does their coming bring, or why
they come at all. have never had any
little pet schemes. am as tranquil and
as self poised as the unmeasurable waters
of the ocean in Its most pacific mood. /
am no Democrat, / am National-what
am Joseph, the Organ. | started
little paper in the interest OF the Nationals
Il pledged my word of honor that it
should be devoted wholly to their cause
to make assurance doubly sure l said the
National committee should supervise and
approve every issue. Did expect apy
patronage from Democrats /. Have
not denounced them as old hacks, as
eorruptionists, as the tools Of the money
power,-have | not singled them out by
name and pursued them with the iawbone
of an ass from Poor to Pisgah-have I not
said anathema maranatha. they are even
worse than the Republicans
But yet these Dem ocrats, they do SO
poster me-they worry me to the very
death with their unbidden .comings and
goirgs disgust me with their pres
eree-Pll fout them one and all-lll
castigate them en- masse-S'plli jam the
brakes, Lundys, Lucasses. Lukenses,
"Rarnetts, Grays. Bufords and Gables
down the Republican throat, at one fell
"dcse-yes, I'll add 'Lish to the dose"
Let the public lock at that. Does that
lock like running after Democrats? Did l
send anyone TO get Kennedy to come to
my cficc did | want TO get him 10 pledge
himself 60 soprof, my little scheme OF re-
distric,ing the ci,y-did / ever anerily ask
if be intended to hang. on the tail Of
'Lish's kite. Perish the thought! l am
Joseph-Noble Jusepb,it you please, the
one and only Joseph of the Nationals, the
iaoorruptible and supreme Joseph, the
dictator
But these Democrats do SO poster me
with their mportunings- SO barrass
my patience and worry my unyielding in
tegrity that am weary of their coming to
me-aud like the unjust Judge of old
because | am weary Of their opportunities
will coalesce Democrats, once more
smile upon you, once more, bless your
dear hearts, give you my patriarchal
blessiug-be good now, let TIE Organ be
yonr organ and all shall be well-let me
be your tatberiy dictator once again and
you she'll sec-well, yes, yen shalI see
what you shall see. Benedicite; Amen.