The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1880-09-03

L. u "W estminster Abbey can't be q re-
markably healthy place to sleep in.
even if an American could crawl in;
and you see I'm not working At pres
emit for a. place in which to lay my
bones. But ON to the field of glory and
another publisherr' s3- Jsizj j.
We tried seven. and all those mis-
guided men refused my verse. The
seventh had the goodness to tell me
why. 7sys1 +, u go .iI - fss.a
Bless you, I get acres Of such man
uscript every year. ! dare say there
may have been q demand for it once,
but you might as well present Choctaw
or Mother Goose to the popular mind
now. Pope overdid all these gilded
metaphors and sounding phrases, and
people want no more of them.
1 carried the book home in bitterness
of heart. but not humility of soul, and
threw it in Avice's lap. at'' '''
"Takeitfor curl papers, ifyou want, -
I cried; it will never be used for any
thing BETTER 80 q 9is3
81 shall keep it, said the small wom-
an, loyal to her faith in her lord, .'and
some day when you're famous they'll be
glad to print it. |" - -
But may as well confess the time
has never come. t3
What was to be done? Our money
ratified as we went lower in the Golfer,
and success was as far away as in the
beginning. tas ~ gs
Avice exercised her brain diligently
on the problem and came to me with
the result. 10 .ta6ee
"Tve been thinking" she said, con-
fidentially, "what people are most in
terested in, and 1 believe they want
scientific things" @
Did you ever think how promis-
cuously woman applies the term
things?)
"There is column in every paper
about telephones and all sorts of inven-
tions, and should think you could say
something remarkable. "
1 snatched at the idea, and believe
did say something remarkable indeed.
What the subject of the essay was l
cannot remember. but it was as practi-
cal as utilizing whale oil in greasing the
North Pole, or making jelly from gum
powder.
1t started on its travels from one
magazine to another, and after invaria-
bly, returning like very faithful dove,
was consigned to oblivion and the top
shelf of the closet.
About that time I met Uncle Phil,
who viewed my worn suit and gener-
ally discouraged appearance with a
nohchalant air, and showing more in
terest than usual in my fortunes, said,
"Well, what success? Got as far as
W in the encyclopedias yet?' l am
sure my answer had in it much offended
dignity, but the remark was sufficient
to send me home with aresolve to do or
die in literary line.
I wrote steadily for weeks stories,
moral essays and, am ashamed to con-
fess it. rhymes; but glory did not await
me, or if it did it was at such distance
that never succeeded in grasping it.
And meanwhile my Avice was work
ing her faith in me up, to a glorious
point of enthusiasm, in the unreason-
able way of women. Her latest idea
l should hesitate to confess myself in
debted to my wife for ideas were it not
that they usually proved impracticable
was that should write novel She
pinned me to the subject when I had
begun to distrust my own powers and
would fain have escaped.
"Now, Harry, let's plan the next
scene," she would rouse me from my
sleep to say.
"Rudolph is on his way to the cave,
where the waves are every minute COM
ing nearer Evelyn's feet, and she will
surely be drowned unless he hastens.
Now do you think we'd better let him
propose to her there, or wait till they've
had more adventures"
Our ideas conflicted little, because
her novel-writing propensities were in
the Mrs. Radcliffe line, while liked to
sandwich my conversations with long
philosophical dissertations. and hair
breadth Escapes could not abide.
But the novel slowly wrote itself out
in our minds.
We agreed that Rudolph's eyes should
be as black as night, and Evelvn's a
deep gray; and that the villain should
be the stepfather of the former. inter-
estingly lame and deformed, somewhat
after the manner of Richard III.
But as we consulted, and I borrowed
money to live on, an old anecd0te, in
which my father, who was story-teller,
used to delight, kept itself prominently
in the foreground of my consciousness.
An illiterate man, having been under
conviction of sin and experienced re-
ligion in the most approved way. felt
himself called to preach, whereupon
the clergy of the same denomination,
ashamed to number him among them,
with him.
Brethren" said he SIT is written,
Go forth and preach the gospel to
every critter.'"
EYES," returned brother, ''but it
does not say that every critter shall