The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-07-13
CHIPS.

Three spring poets broke out at once in the
same county in Wisconsin, and the startled
Governor Immediately called out the troops.
A fond mother fearing that an earthquake
was coming, sent her boys to the country to
escape it. After a few days she received a
note from a friend saying, "For goodness
sake, take your boys away, and seud along
the earthquake instead"
Maud Gan aristecratic child: How pretty
and clever you are, mother. Pm so glad you
married into our family"
Weather signs-When you see doctor and
a nurse take charge of q house, look out for
the squalls.
A man was asked the other day how many
children he had, and he replied, "Five boys,
and each boy has two sisters"
Paris editors lead a duel life; one in the
sanctuin and the other in the suburbs.
1t is good for the fame of Ajax that he
passed away before New Jersey was discov-
cred. He never could have detied her light
ming.
Said Jones: Erred Grant won't have so
soft a thing as he has had" 81 don't KNOW"
replied Robinson, " he'll have a solft thing so
long as he keeps cool and doesn't lose his
head"
An Ichthyophagous Club is calculated to
ruin the reputation of any husband who goes
home late at night and tries to tdll where he
has been.
A murderer was hanged in Texas the other
day, but it was by mistake-the worthy citi-
zens thought he had stolen a horse.
The worm that never dies must be the army
worm.
A minister was questioning his Sunday
school about the slo y of Eutcychus-the
young man, who, listening to the preaching
of the Apostle Paul, fell asleep, and, falling
down, was taken up dead. "Whal," he said,
edo we learn from this solemn ~event:?' when
the reply from a little girl came pat and
prompt: please, sir, ministers should learn
not to preach too long sermons
Arthur, the DISCHARGED collector of the
port of New York, on a civil service plank, is
a spectacle TO make Hayes weep.
At a camp-meetlng last summer a venerable
sister began the hymn:
My soul he on thy guard,
Ten thousand Toes arise.
She began too high. "Ttn thousand" she
screecled, and stopped, "Start her at five
thousand" cried a converted stockbroker pres
ent.
lie bowed into the old shotgun
With deri>iOn in his laugh
His obituary was a lovely thing,
Professional pomposity is well taken off in
the following anecdote: Shields doctor
docking learned and speaking slowly
q" Well, mariner, which tooth do you want eX-
tracted? Is it a molar, or incisor?' Jack
(short and sharp)-''l 1t is in the upper tier,
on the larboard side Bear a hand, you swab.
for it is nipp:ng my jaw like a lobster"
st. Patrick's Day-Milkman to Bridget,
(whO appeared in a bower Of green ribbons in
honor of the day)-"If you're not careful
Rrij,at bv, iurL-ncc will ba tnIinr , Kite M
you, you're SO green" Bridget-"Try it.
Milkmdn subsidies.
Beaconsfield's fighting days are not over it
appears. 1t is rumored that he is engaged tc
be married.
A Pennsylvania mar last week won four
oil wells in a lottery, and Immediately burst
into a tit of his derrickal laughter.
One of Wells, Fargo's messengers at Reno,
got of a good one on Ben Butler the other
night. Ben and party saw a lot of silver bull,
lion in the car and asked what it was. "That's
what they make spoons out Of says the
messenger.
elf l should meet the dastardly rebel that
shot me-" said a Boston wal veteran, on
drawing $1,000 in pension arrears, shed
have to swallow half a bottle Of wine"
IN exchange says that a new pattern OF
striped sto kings are on the market. We al.
ways thought that striped stockings were on
our modesty can't stand it we'll have to
subside.