davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
Money bY Telephone.

f'Say, miss, said a rather hard-Iook
ing customer to the young lady In charg
of the central telephone Office, one da,
last week, ''say, miss, I'd like to tau
with MIR. Joseph SnoOks a moment"
The lady called Snooks and turned th,
instrument over to the guest.
"HellO, hello! Mr. Snooks!"
Snooks answered, and IN the ensuins
colloquy the lady could of course only
hear the hard-looking customer.
Shocks, old boy, I can't come up fol
that money to-day; I'm too busy"
'EEh?"
'sNo, can't get away"
'1 know, but Tn sorry; I've got Ia
meet Brace about your affair"
| ''But I'd ieopardize all our interests.
I positively can't come. Can you send
the money DOWN.
''DoBn here.
81 don't believe she'll do it, will shef"
''No, I don't know her. She's hand
some girl with blue eyes and light hair.
Know herr"
'TI ask her about it. Wait, keep
your ear there miss, MIR. Snooks wants
to pay me four dollars, and says for you
to let me have the money. I'll ask again
to make sure. Snooks, did you mean
for this fine young lady to pay nae and
charge it to you?"
Don't hear you"
eyes, yes, all right He says, miss,
for you to take my receipts and let me
have the cash. You are to put it In his
telephone bill. All right, Snoolzs, good
by, see you tomorrow" and he hung the
mouthpiece ON the hook.
"Fine fellow, Snooks," he continued,
looking pleasantly at the managress. 81
never heard of sending money by tale
phone before, did you?"
''No," responded the lady.
"Perhaps you haven't the change
les, +" said she.
''You'u trust Snooks, I persume," he
went on in a faltering manner.
Certainly" she replied, eff he says TO
let you have it. F."
''You don't think the telephone would
lie, do you?"
''Assuredly not I'll just ask Mr..
Snooks."
''No, no. He's a sensitive man; he
wouldn't like to have so much fuss over
small amount. Make it two dollars
and will give him receipt on ao-
count.
':Tl pay anything Mr.. snoOks says.
I'll call him. "
Rather than bother him again, III
make it a dollar. Give me dollar"
''But perfer to call him"
Miss, said the man, "don't 90 near
the wire now. There's cloud comming
up. You're going TO be struck by light
ming. Rather than that, I'd take fifty
cents, quarter"
"Ohl I'm not afraid" and she ap-
preached the instrument.
':Keep away from that wire!" he
howled, S'don't call Snooks. He might
be struck. If you don't care for yourself,
have some mercy on his family. You
needn't pay the amount at all. 1 wouldn't
risk Snooks for all the money in Brook
lyn."
81 shall either call Shocks or police
man, said the girl firmly.
''Make it policeman and TIL go for
him myself, F" shouted the tramp, as he
jumped over the rail.
And then she called Snooks, who had
been swearing at his end of the wire In
the hope of making some one hear him,
and told him it was all right, she hadn't
quite paid the money.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
Some More Love.

"This, presume, is Matilda Viii
Hams" queried his Homer as a plainly
dressed woman of 40 was escorted to the
bar.
eyes"
"And you disturbed the peace, I be-
ieve2"
"Ibeleve So"
"Have you any defense?"
&c Yes, sir; wait till find my handker-
chief, for I know shall cry as soon as 1
get mad"
Failing to find the needed article in
her pocket she sent Bijah to her cell to
recover it, and then began:
'FFor the past six months have been
keeping company with man named
Thomas. We were to be married In Oc-
tober, and I had no doubt that he was all
| right. The other day heard that he had
gone off on an excursion with foolish
chit of girl not Is years old, and l
waited for the boat to come In to see II 1t
was so.
Here she began weeping, and thrill
of sympathy ran over the audience, while
Bijah shuthis teeth together and dbreathed
like horse galloping up hill.
g Yes, it was so, she continued; land
wnen I got sight Of them sort O lost my
presence OF mine anu tuouShO OA1J u
| venge. expect I raised row but L
couldn't help it. "
"Of course she couldn't" growled Bi-
| iah below his breath. eff had been In
her place I'd have killed him dead with
| tack hammerl"
"Well ?" queried the court as he sank
back IN his chair.
"That's about all, sir, she replied.
/ Il shall never trust another man as long
as live It was great shock tome and
1 fear I am going to be i'll.
The court began to hunt for something
In the drawers of his desk, and BJah
| motioned the prisoner to go out She
had been gone some half minute when
his Homer Strengthened up and told Bilah
| to call the next case and let this one stand
for awhile
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
eRoeREss ~ 1oURNA11sM.

A St Louis correspondent says The
other dayI met here Col. George Knapp,
! proprietor Of the daily Republican.
lie Is nedium-sized, gray-haired, rud-
4 dy-faced gentleman, not apparently over
90 years old-quiet, interesting, pleasing
In manner. He was with his large and
genial editor-in-chief, Mr.. Hyde, both
OF them enjoying a mutual interview
and lean against the iron railing along
side the magnificent architectural pile,
the Republican building" Our con-
Versat1on turned on the past and pres
ent Of journalism, and their contrast
COL Knapp indulged in this interesting
bit of retrospect
"Fhty-three years ago I began with
the Republican. It was weekly then.
We had nothing but a wooden hand
press. Our city circulation was less than
200. delivered the papers myself. It
took two stout men several hours each
week to work off on that press out
small city and country edition. The
entire edition was only 600 or 700. Our
Office was in little old frame building
then" s
And what is the statistical difference
now, Colonel ?" was asked.
Oh, it can hardly be stated in words.
You see this mornings issue Opening
copy. Well, our new press prints both /
sides at once, and cuts the pages and
pastes them together and folds them up
as this is, at the rate of 10000 copies an
hour. I have thrown up the job of de-
ivering our city edition, as I've grown
old, and concluded to let the poor boys
tend to that"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
An Indian "TaIk. I"

The details of Mr.. Peace Commissioner
Judd's interview with Sitting Bull and
Rain-in-the-Face, at Poplar River Agen-
cy, are just coming in. These hostile
chiefs, with large following, invaded
the agency, and by threats and firing OF
guns scared Judd and Pollock, the Agent,
badly. After feeding the hostiles well,
however, they consented to ga talk. "
Said Commissioner Judd to the inter
prefer: ''Tell Rain-in-the-Face to say
to Sitting Bull that he must take his
people right out of this and leave these
peaceable Indians alone.
MISREPRESENTATION wants to know who'll
make him 70
Mr.. Judd-"Tel him that will. I
have only to raise my hand and hun
dred thousand warriors will rush in with
their gittering steel, and guns with a
big mouth, and clean out the whole out
ftP'
Interpreter Rain-in- -the-Face says
all the people the Great Father has sent
here are Liars, and that you look just
like the rest of them. He says, also,
that you have a bigger mouth than any
of the guns you talk about. He remarks,
further, that if you are not careful 1t
will take all the agricultural knowledge
contained in several issues of your valu-
able journal (meaning the american
AgricuJtat''t80 to grow q fresh crop OF
the capillary vegetable on the summit
of your Uranium after his friend s. B.
interviews you on what he knows about
scalping."
Mr.. Judd (excitedly)- -"Teu him he
must go or take the consequences
Interpreter He says blank the con-
sequences, he means to take the rest OF
the vegetables F.! He took all the turnips
last night, and he proposes to occupy
the corn, cabbage and potatoes before
he is an hour older I"
Mr.. Judd-"Ask him if lie knows the
power that lies behind me, within easy
call"
Interpreter He says you bet he
does, and that he knows you have lots OF
tin your mind. = Chicago Tribune.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
Sensible Doctrine.

tits not a correct doctrine to teach hU-
man beings that it is their duty to. live
onas little as possible; it would be better
to earn enough TO live comfortably.
What is the use of creeping through life
feebly merely to save funeral eypensesf
Let us claima full and vigorous vitality,
when to breathe and live is pleasure
Either one is worth his keeping in this
world or he is not; if worth it, seize it
with a strong hand.
"You ought to live on bread and water,
If your husband is not able to give you
any more" said a maiden aunt to a
young girl in the presence of the man
she was about to marry.
at am worth my board and clothes to
anybody" replied the girl; and if Joe
thinks he can't afford them of good
quality, know plenty who can"
Joe thought he could, and kept up to
the record through life.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
BIOGRAPHY.


The subject of this sketch was born
in Ireland in 172s, and died in 1774 Al
Trinity College he was remarkable for
bis idleness and dissipation. Yielding
to the wishes of an uncle who supported
him, he prepared to enter tho church,
but was rejected by the Bishop. His
uncle next sent him to study law at Lon
don, but on the way he spent all his
money In gambling, and returned with
empty pockets. His generous relative,
however, forgave all and sent him to
Edinburgh to study medicine. He re-
NAMED here two years, when he set out
for London, where, after stopping a
year, he departed, "with only one clean
shirt and no money in his pockets" to
make tour Of Europe on foot, getting
subsistence by playing at the doors Of
the peasants houses. In 1855 he re-
turned to England on hearing of the
death of his uncle, and shortly after be-
gan his literary career. He was forever
In debt, and g The Vicar of Wakefield
was written while he was under arrest
for debt. A critic has truthfuIly said Of
him: "He possessed great benevolence
and warmth OF feeling, but he wanted
8teadiness Of principle, and was ct all
times the creature Of impulse"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
THE FAMILY or THE PRESIDENT
ELECT.
,rps o,pv1rtp OF MARYLAND DESCENT

MRS. GARFIELD OF MARYLAND DESCENT
Somebody claiming to be intimate
with the family of the President-elect
has been writing about it frCm Wash
iugton. The next Executive OF the ma
tion has, like the present Executive
four soHs--Harry, aged 10; James, IA;
Irwin, 10, and Abram, 8, all represented
IS good and bright bOys-and one
daughter Mollie, aged IL. The TIVE
eldest boys are at Concord, N. H., pre-
paring for collega. last summer Harry
tsok the prize fer defamation. Mrs.
Garaeld, whose maiden name was Le-
titia Rudolph, and whose father, 1t Is
said, emigrated from Cecil county, Md,
where several families of that name still
reside, is described as a very intelligent
locking woman Of about As, with
somewhat rural manner, haying been
hern and Ried ip the cogatry, apd haV
Jag never taken on urban ways. She is
very thin, but bears traces Of youthful
cOmeliness She had q good country
academy education, with hardly any ac-
cOmplishments, and is an excellent, eco
nomicsl hsusekeeper. She entertained
very little during her husbands con-
gressisnal career, apd ia FepAted to have |
40 fOndness for miscellaneous society. |
Her sense of personal dignity is marked,
and her reserve of manner apprca hes
austeIity. She is feRd Of reading, a2d
feels deep interest in the studies Of
her ehIldren. After going TO school at
the village of Hiram, where she became
engaged to Garfield, she went to Cleve-
land as a teacher in the public schools,
while he continued his studies at Will
iams College and t0Ok his degree there.
She understands business, having plan
ned the plain though csmmodiops house
Rt Washington and spperiptended most
Of the improvements on the farm at
Mentor, bought two years ago. She is
the daughter Of plain farmer aud is
remote descendant of Gen. Nathaniel
Greene, of revolutionary renown. Mrs.
Eliza Ballou Garfield, 20 years old,
mother of the General, is acute, saga
cious, old-fashioned, small In stature,
and still vigorous, and makes her home
with her son, whe is greatly attached to
her and eager to show his attachment
She has much influence with him, and
will not, probably, be n lay figure in
the White House. Judge Jere. Black,
Campbellite Baptist like Garfield, says
she is very sterling woman, who has
done all her werk faithfully under very
discOuraging circumstances. The Gen
eral is considered by his friends very
ambitious, though il ambition is of a
most laudablo @r-+d. His chiof ambi-
ten is at presel.tr they say, to be tru-
ly national and sagacious President, and
he will lend all his energies and talents
to that end. The President-elect is de-
scribed as somewhat stOuter than he
has been, but as in most robust health.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
Lovely Woman StOOps Again.

The mischievous daughter of a Phil.
adelphia broker at Saratoga went into q
hotel barber shop to have her hair banged,
After her locks had been clipped male
friend took her place In the chair. ''Let
me shave you" she said.
''You don't dare to-" he replied
'Its you that don't dare.
''Ill bet you"
''Bet what?"
ga kiss"
'sAll right. If you'll let me shave you
I'll finish with kiss.
The young man laid himself back in
the chair and said, $50 ahead"
The girl did not hesitate. She worked d
under the BARRIERS directions, and before
a crowd of hilarious spectators. The
young man evidently liked it when she
rubbed in the lather with her soft little
hand, but when she came to welding the
razor he was subjected to a dreadful
ordeal The danger of cut throat was
enough to appal the stoutest heart, and
added to that was the pain of the pulling
and tearing by an unskifully handled
blade. Still he escaped with a few
scratches, and got the kiss, coyLy bat
Squarely delivered. .--4SaratogiGa.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

SUPERSTITION is very often found
among the negroes of Georgia. The
Oglethorpe Echo relates a case as fol-
lows "Some time since Patsy Grigs-
by, an old mulatto woman of Lexing-
ton, came to a lawyer and told him that
she had sure proof that certain woman
had murdered her husband, and she
wanted the case prosecuted. Upon be-
ing asked to give her evidence Patsy re-
piled that the night before Christ had
come into her cabin and told her all
about it that she knew it was the Saw
ior, for her apparition wss as white as
snow, and had three little heads grow
ing upon its breast Cher crude idea of
the Trinity. Aunt Patsy was explained
the difficulty in getting her celestial vis-
itor to appear in an earthly court as a
witness, and told she must confne her
case to humber testimony. Many ne
groes believe her improbable story.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
story Apeut Artsmus Ward.

There are yet living in Pottsville. Pa,
several gentlemen who never hear the
name of Artemus Ward without a smil-
ing recollection of pleasant night spent
with that droll genius. In the winter of
one of the earlier years OF the war Arte-
mus Ward was advertised to deliver his
famous lecture on the Mormons IL the
Town Hall at Pottsville. Much curiosity
was excited by the announcements of his
coming. and there was every reason to
expect that the ball would be crowded
on the evening of the lecture. But one
OF the fercest snow-storms that over
visited the town ragged without intermis-
sion all day, and the night was wildly
stormy when the lecturer was driven t.
the hall He found awaiting him there
only i've men who had defied the storm
Advancing TO the front of the stage, and
becking with his finger as If TO single
individual, Artemus said, in an ordinary
conversational tone, ''Come up closer.
Not knowing precisely what to do, the
audience of five compromised with theii
embarrassment by doing nothing. Arte
mus changed his tone to that used by
one who wishes to coax, and said
4" Please come up closer and be sociable
want to speak to you about little mat
ter have thought of. f"
Having succeeded in getting his audi
dence TO move up nearer the STAGE, th:.
humOrist said /" move that W.. do not
have any lecture here this evening. ni6
] propose instead that we adjourn T. th,,
restaurant beneath and have "A F,e,l
time" he then put the motion, vul,.l
on ID himself, declared il carried. and. e.
give no appeal from the chair, ut ones
led the way to the restaurant. There he
introduced himself 70 his intended audi
tors, and spent several hours IN their
company, richly compenEating them for
disappointment in the matter of the lec-
tu1e By the wit and humor of the stories
and anecdotes without number that he
told. And that Is how Artemus Wapi
tecturPd in pOttsYille.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
NONE OF THAT ZOE RrM.

A young lady who is studying French
lately wrote to her parents that she was
invited to deieuner the day before, and
was going to tete cLampetre the next
day. The Professor of the college was
surprised to receive dispatch from the
" old man" day or two after, saying
eff you don't keep my daughter away
from these blasted menageries and side
shows, I will come down and see what
ails her,"
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

The scheme to divide Texas into three
States is alarming the Republicans. BY
the terms of her annexation the United
States granted Texas the authority to
divide her territory when her popula-
tiOn would justify it. This is new the
case. II three States are made from one
the Democrats will gain four new Uni
ted States Senators.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

Chang, the Chinese giant, who landed
in New York fron China on Tuesday
9th, is nine feet high. He was brought
over by Barnum, Bailey q Hutchinson,
the new Barnum firm, who give him
$500 a week for enc year.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

Under the new code of Mississippi
any citizen has the right to arrest or
carry before magistrate or any proper
officer the tramp he may find begging
about his pr emises. 1t is made the duty
of magistrates to commit such tramp to
Jail, and from the Jail he is to be hired
out as ether csnvicts are.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
Theodore Parker.

| Theodore Parker
Theodore Parker, distinguished
American and rationaistie theologian,
was born at Lexington, Mass. on the
oath of August, 1910. His education
was begun on his fathers farm, and there
ne continued TO study even after he had
entered Harvard College in 1880. In
1884 he entered the theological school,
in which he remained about two years.
He first began to preach in BarnstabIe
in 1886. In April of the following year
he married Miss Lydia Cabot, and soon
after he settled as Unitarian minister at
West Roxbury, His views had previ-
ously been but little in advance of the
average Unitarianism of the time, but
his growing acquaintance with De
Wette, Eichborn, Paulus Bauer, and
others, was not long in producing a
change in his opinions. His new
doctrines gave offense to some of the
more conservative New England Uni
tarians, and, after his discourse on the
" Transient and Permanent in Christ
ianity, the opposition to him became
much more decided. In 1843 he visited
Europe, turning in the summer of
1874 Soon after his return he began to
preach in Boston at the Melodeon,
where he was regularly installed in
1845, He was the principal editor of
the Massachusetts Quarterly. In addi.
lion to his duties as minister, and his
laborious intellectual pursuits, he gave
numerous lectures on various subjects.
His health having become greatly i'm
paired by his unceasing and intense ac-
tivity, in February, 1859, he visited
Santa Cruz, in the West Indies, and in
5ho following summer went to Europe,
spending the winter of 1959-60 at Rome
BE left Rome in April, 1860, and with
reached Florence, where he
lied on the 10th of May. Of his exten-
i've collection of books he left the prin-
,ipal part, amounting to II, 100 volumes
md $500 pamphlets, to the Boston
Public Library.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

"SHALn the husband keep wife In
formed of his business affairs ?" asks an
innocent. There is no necessity. She
will find out five times as much as he
knows himself without the least trouble
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
Battered at the Post once at MOrris.Ovn, Tenn.
as second class mstser.l
TERMS OF THE GAZETTE.

RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION. - on
Vear (52 sssles) g.. sac months, 81 a'Tce
months, so cents.
RATES or FADVERTZSLNG. one tT'e''
first insertion, 81 each saOseqelst II'ees
sen, so cents; displayed aapeTt'ssf1'e.lts
asSR Be charged according to the space "c0"-
pied at G5ouC rates.
70 REG GULAR ADHERII6EitS tes q.
fer superior inducements, botH as % - ToIse -
Of CHARGES and manner Of aisptHg'rls 'f'ear
feo0rs ,x,,o ia
NOTICES IN LOCAL O0LUANsSmlto ~ 8 ..,t.
.,,,. .,s,. ae 65r FIRST G1psertiOqs and cents
oBTTUARY NOTICES, 7sia,s'ss ef Re, Re-
snsos and Oards Of Thanks eh@Tse@ JST
Gs regular advertisements.
ALL .BILLS for R5pgrtis.ng are ave ''@S"
ss7straesed and payable on dcnlGT6'
OOHHUNICAT TIONS must BE Gcc0n'Pan-
led 5v the true name and address o u'S
SerItSr in Srder to receips attention.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

How few faults are there seen By
Us which we have not ourselves com
mitted.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

THx English nobility must certainly
be q very dirty set of people. 1t Is
stated that the Duke of Portland has
thirty farms on his hands, and Lord
Willoughby has thirteen. Why don't
they wash themselves?
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

The steamers on the Mississippi river
it is stated, now use the electric light
instead of the old fashioned torch.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22

The time has been when d seas Is of the Kidneys
considered serious ton but fortunately
all fear Of any fatal results from tlese troubles are
now dispeled By the certainty with which DAY y
RID MY PAD always acts.
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
Diahctes and Rright's Disease.

while its cure of Gravel, Dropsy, Catarrh Of the
Bladder, Brickdust Deposit, Painful Urinating,
High-Colored Urine, Nervous Weakness, and Pain
in the Back seem more ike miracles than cases Of
natural
The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-12-22
DFITCATE FEMAIFS

or victims Of wasted prostraed energies, caused
by irregular habits, the ahuse Of nature, and men
tai or physical over-exertou find their greatest
lief in the use OF DAYS KIDNEY PAD, which
strengthens and invig0rstes, and restores the vi
Ill n