St. Landry democrat., 1880-12-04
ALL SORTS.

ALL SORTS.
Whv ia the discovery OF tlie ..rvs nors
,,o,a Ike an illicit whisky manu1acto'J
I9o,e Roo,nsa ,'Se it's 'ti q secret still-[Punch.
\ little cirl sent out to hum sKss
came back unsuccessful, cEnp % rnmni
that lots of hens were standing 'o""
doing nothing"
Josh Billings has found one tnihs
that money cannot buy, ana tnat - VIC
wag of dogs tail. 1t is an honess ~ -.
preston Of opinion on the part oA 'no
dog.
Bean Brummel used to say: ~ pay
off f'a'" . deht a " q Of gratitude when l can't
lelp myself; but pay off q Crude Wnon
the other fellow can't help himself.
Ancient hunter" Did you ever see
anv deer stalking p Youthful lover
"y,es: have not only seen but heard
the pretty dears talking frequently
Verv rcd-haired passenger say.
| conductor, why on earth don't the tram
goon, Conductor" Good gracious, SIR,
but your head in! How can you expect
| It to 90 on while that danger signal ls
out -
81 think I'll cut across the ields,'
said a city bell, who was visiting her
country cousin" the wether permit
ting" She added, as she observed = de-
1 monstrative sheep Of the masculine
persuasion.
Tho venerable parson stands up in
church and decries the follies OF this
world but, if he is bald-headed, it 10
generally noticed that he scrapes the
fringe OF his hair above his ears up over
! the bald spot just % carefully rs other
men.-[ Christian At Work.
F! AS he sat OIL the steps on Sunday
! evening he claimed the right to q kiss
for every shooting star. She at frst
| demurIed, az became q modest maiden,
bnp finally yielded. She vas even %
accommodating as to call his attention
to tlying meteors that were about to
escape his observation, and then got to
"caling him on lightning bugs, and
at last got him down to steady work on
the light of lantern that y man was
swim eing about depot in the distance
where trains were switching.
4 man formerly of considerable note
whose renown has since been clouded
by the notoriety of a great scandal, was
at a crowded evening party in New
York some years ago, standing in an
upstairs corridor.
To him lady, in magnificent dress
and sparkling with jewels, came with
great eagerness. Though she was un-
, known to him, he naturally supposed
she had recognized him b.. the light Of
his genius, shining on his hyperion
brow, or knew him by reputation. He
) was, therefore, prepared to receive her
with smiles.
care you the waiter =" she demanded.
"No!" retorted he, with looks Of
, thunder.
t "Are you the chambermaid
:, ! And he darted down stairs.
The champion jack of-all trades be-
2 longs to England and lives near Chi
chester. He has served as seaman in
the four quarters of the globe and acted
: as steward, sail-maker, cook, mate and
, navigator. He now hangs out his sign
X. as J" Prof. pullinger, contractor, inven-
tor, fisherman, builder, carpenter, join
er, sawyer, undertaken, turner, cooper.
| psiIuCCi1 WOO0eU
: pumpmaker, paper hanger, bell hanger,
: boat builder, clock cleaner, locksmith,
D umbrella repairer, china and glass mon.
t der, net knitter, wire worker, grocer,
0 baker, farmer, taxidermist, cOpyine
. clerk, letter writer, accountant, surveyor
Il engineer, land measurer, house agent
}. vestry clerk, assistant Ovcrseer. clerk Ia
! the Selsay Sparrow Club, clerk to the
: Selsay police assessor and collector OF
= land tax and property and income tai
II and collector of church and highway
:. rates"
y y GENTLEMAN Defined" Wha
n is a ecntleman?' asks an interested
!, exchange. As we grasp the subject
Il gentleman is strange medley of Gu
c. rious mysteries. 1t is a living AM
2, moving human being, that hangs on
"a at hotels, wears cardinal hose and fear
, not to show them, sports q ilimiuutiy,
Ee cane, bridges his nasal beacon with cy
a glasses hit:hed to a string, ogles prett,
* girls on the street or at tile theatei
er bores editors aud other weak-liyere
le dyspeptics, smokes the clear quill, kin
nekinick filler, with tissue paper wrau
per, plays billiards muchly, swears ele
gantly, waltzes the Raciet" divinely
talks slicker than boiled grease, know
the ropes, intimate with the kitche
I'd mechanics, owes everybody, pays moth
lie ing, not even attention, and freuuentl
Is wrcstles with the existence of q mut
tache. The thorough breed always b
longs to some club. He is an ornamer