The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-06-12
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

The hire cass-Domestcs.
Who will care for Logan now?
Troubled C's-Conkling Cameron.
Fred Grant is for his father. Good boy.
Fly time-When you hear the old mans cane
humping along the ball.
When man is shot in Texas they say lie died
natural death
The pitcher that goes often to the beer house
is broken at last. 1t is the same way with the
catcher.
as lime good to put on mconsy" asks an az.
ricultural correspondent. We presume II Is, II
anybody likes it, but we use sugar boston foS''
James H. Gallup and Emma Canter were mar,
ried at Grand Rapids few days ago. Give 'em
Il me and they'll make a spanking team.
When the lady of the house refuses to give the
information asked for by the census taker threat
10 inquire Of the servants next door always fetch
es her.
The big snake story of the season is pro-
rounced he Wheeling Ledd,r TO be that Of the
man who zee saw a boa constructor swallow a
New Jersey mosquito.
The national convention at Chicago displayed
so much hot blood that some ofthe New England
members said they felt as If they were at parish
meeting convened TO choose a new minister.
After Bob Ingersoll took his seat In the Chicago
Convention on Friday morning, il was but in ac-
cordance with the fitness Of things that the brief
opening prayer by a Chicago clergyman should
be greeted with ''roars Of laughter"
One Of the most attractive and noticeable feat
ures at the blind Institution at Jacksonville is a
mammoth gcranium, which is over sixteen feet
high. The pupils Of course enjoy the sight of it
immensely.
Who was il said Mr. Hayes would never get an
other Office He was last week elected vice. pres
dent Of the American Bible society.
In Holland, Mich, when a dog bowls before
house it portends funeral unless he is speedily
shot. If it is the Mayors dog all signs are de-
clGred off, the dog is valued at $50.
Recent obituary verses by a new but promising
writer in the Cincinnati Enquirer:
Dearest husband, We shall miss thee
And thy place We ne'er can fill;
Though years may come and 20,
Thou shalt dwell in memory still.
Dearest Jim, thou has left us,
And thy loss we de, ply feel
But It's God that has bereft us,
He will all our sOrrOws heal.
poet sends us poem beginning, al gaze al
the moon in the sky" That's right Young man,
that's where to gaze at il. Don't try to gaze at
i under the bed or in the wOodshed chamber
Stick TO the sky.-Chicdgo Tribune.
The newly married stylish young lady writes
10 confidential friend: One Of the saddest and
most yexatious trials that come TO a girl when
she marres is that she has TO discharge her moth.
er and depend on a servant girl.
Sir" said Logan, when accused Of confound-
ing himself with the state Of Illinois, 81 am only
only one OF the sprouts OF Illinois. ] am not
much, but Illinois made me what am." II IL.
linois can produce no better specimen Of her
hsndiwork in making sprouts than Logan, she
had better let the job hereafter to nature.
A Chicago widower has fine house Of brown
stone and brick, and he wants 10 know, before
choosiDgs second wife, whether blonde or a
brunette would beet harmonic with the colors OF
the structure.
IF should meet the dastardly rebel that shot
me- said Boston war veteran, on drawing 81 GOO
in pension arrears, he'd have TO swallow half a
bottle Of wine"
Fifty thousand Republicans from abroad spent
last Sunday in Chicago but II was noticed that
there was no unusual attendance at the churches.
A angular omission is noticed 10 the Chicago
platform. No credit il given the Republican par
~ for the ate beneficial rains