The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1880-05-07
VOL. XXIV----NO. 10.
VARIETIES.

| :" Madam saba lawyer to his lady client,
in this case ! shall charge only nominal
fee" "A nominal fee" exclaimed the lady,
that's phenomenal"
! We notice that one Mr.. Armstrong is
lecturing in Indiana ON Socrates II is only
fair To Socrates to state that he is dead and
can't defend himself
-"Humph y said II young gentleman, at II
play with II young lady, II could play the
lover better than that myself" Il would like
TO see you try was the naive reply.
| 1t is useless to say that good crops come
| from luck. 1t is not so. The secret is in Sc
Letting the seed with care, draining the fields
keeping ont the cattle and having sound
| fences.
When good looking Indiana girl has the
| measles it always follows that from seven TO
fifteen of the young men in the neighborhood
are soon taken down with the same disease
There are some things that man can't
put up with. When he falls ont of n second
story window on to a picket fence, To have
his wife come out and ask him if he is hurt
is more than Il man can stand and not get
mad.
why, you'd better knock the door down,
What do you want 2" "OCh me darlin' =
Don't let me wake any of your family. I'm
Just using your knocker to wake the people
next door I'm locked out, dye see, and they
have nver knocker"
1t was the flag end of the war" Rich.
mond had fallen A South Carolina soldier
trudging along with the remnant of Lees
army said to his comrades, "Well, boys,
blamed if don't believe that South Carolina
was little too hasty"
Never marry for wealth" says cotem-
porary, but remember that it's just as easy
to love girl who has brick house with n
mansard roof and silver-pated door-bell, as
one who hasn't anything but an auburn head
and an amiable disposition"
"A fellow stopped at hotel at Lcadyille
and the landlord charged him 81 a day for
five days Didn't you make II mistaken"
NO." said the landlord "Yes, you did, YOU
thought you got all the money had, but you
are mistaken; l have whole purse full in
another pocket"
WHATS the matter my dear?" said
kind wife to her husband, who had sat for
half an hour with his face buried in his hands,
and apparently in great tribulation. 30,
don't know I've felt like a fool all day.
"Well," said his wife consolingly, you look
the very picture of what you feel"
-"An Indiana girl who was suddenly kiss
ell NJ party HIS DtCOulC l0SuHc. his para
graph was read by Skinner to his girl the other
evening and then he queried, "do you s'posc
that's true?" She blushed slightly, and then
like a true girl replied, 81 don't know, but |
think I'd risk it,"
The small boy has two prime objects in
view in getting fighting cut" to his hair in
warm weather One is to show his viglant
father that he hasn't been in swimming, and
the other because he can lay in bed five min
utes longer in the mornng-he doesn't have
to comb his hair
The superintendent approached youth
of color, who was present for the first time
in Sunday school and inquired his name, for
the purpose Of placing it on the roll. The
good man tried in vain to preserve his gravi-
ty when the answer was returned, "Well,
massa calls me cap'n, but my m0tIeH R0wc is
Moses
81 would announce TO the congregation
that probably by mistake, there was left at the
meeting house this morning small cotton
umbrella, much damaged by time and tear,
and of an exceedingly pale blue color; in the
place whereof was taken very large black
silk umbrella of great beauty. Blundcrs of
this sort, my brethren, are getting n little too
common"
-Four young officers at Prague marked
out n chess board ON Il billiard table and then
used bottles of wine to rcpresent chessmcn. A
bottle of champagne, was king, bottle of
Bordeaux queen, and other kinds of wine
represented the rocks, knight, DC ; the rule
of the game being that whoever made move
must drink the bottle Divine which he touch
ed. The game was not success for, says an
Austrian newspaper, which tells the story,
only a dozen moves were made before the
four players were under the table