Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-04-21

fed from it in haste, after long nights
dispute, in the course of which my learn
ed friend had well-nigh come to blows
with the university's most celebrated
professor.
At last / heard that they were again
in London, and, full of enthusiasm,
darted round the corner TO welcome them
home. Nobody was with them but Mrs.
Hanway, Winifred's mother. [ would
enter unannounced and surprise the
philosopher 1 entered unaunounced,
and was surprised myself. Was this the
effect of matrimony or of foreign travel?
Each occupant of the room was engaged
In an exercise wholly unconnected, as it
seemed, with those of the rest. My
friends wife, the lady whom l had al
most loved, queen of all grace and come
Illness, was appearing and disappearing
behind the days Times, showing at the
moments of disclosure face flushed
with excitement, and lustrous coils of
hair. tumbled into the widest disorder,
while she accompanied the whole per-
formance with strange and inarticulate
sounds. Her mother, the same Mrs.
Hanway, who was SO perfect model of
dress and carriage that many of her lady
frieuds were wont to lament among them
selves that she gave herself such airs,
was seated on the floor dressed for walk
ing, but without her bonnet. Yes, she
was certainly drumming on an inverted
tea-tray with the wrong end of the poker.
And the philosopher? 1t was perplex-
ing, after three years separation, to
meet him thus. The philosopher was
cantering round the room on all tours,
wearing on his head his own waste paper
basket. Briskly he cantered round, ever
and anon fr1sking like lamb in spring
time, until he reached my feet, which
were rooted to the spot with astonish-
ment He glanced up sideways, rose
with cry to the normal attitude of man,
and grasped me by the hand. At the
sound of his voice, his wife dropped the
paper from her hands, raised them quick
ly to her hair; and his mother-in-law,
with as much dignity as the effort would
allow, scrambled on to her feet. Then
in an instant the cause of their eccentric
conduct was made clear. Throned upon
the hearthrug, and showing by gra-
cious smile a few of the newest teeth,
sat fine baby of some fifteen months.
In one dimpled fist was tightly clenched
the brush, which had so neatly arranged
the mothers braids; while the other was
engaged in pounding the grandmother's
best bonnet into shapeless mass.
We were all somewhat embarrassed
except the baby. The ladies know that
they were untidy, and that was an in
truder. AS for the learned father, he
stood now on one leg and now on the 9TH
10 1,oo oh fto1 %lo TO
ket from from hand to hand, and con-
tinued to smile almost as persevering as
his amiable offspring. Yet it was he who
at last put an end to our awkward position
by expressing a wild desire to have my
opinion on the new curtains in his
study. Rather sheepishly said good
bye to the lady of the house, trying to
express by my eyes that / would never
call again unannounced. [ knew that
Mrs. Hanway had not forgiven me, as /
humbly took the two fingers which she
offered; and [ felt like brute, as the
most important member of the family
condescended to leave damp spot by
the edge of my left whisker.
When, however, I had been swept
down stars by my impulsive friend, and
was alone with him in his den, my cour-
age returned, and with it some indigna-
ton. [ confronted him, and sternly
asked why had not been told that he
was father. "Not been told?" echoed
he; "do you mean to say that you did
not know about the baby?" "Not so
much as that it was" replied, gloomily,
He was overwhelmed. OF course he had
supposed that every one knew it from
hn n nd n
people ought to have told me, who of
course had told me everything else. At
last my curiosity got the better of my in
dignat1on, and cut short his apologies
by beginning my questions "Does the
shape of its head content you?" asked.
'The shape of whose what ?" cried the
philosopher, apparently too surprised for
grammar. "Of the baby's head, of
course" [ replied, tartly; "I merely
wish to know if the child is likely to be
as intellectual as you hoped" GO Isn't
the hair lovely?" he asked, incense
quently. This was too much, and assum-
ing my severest manner I delivered my
self III this wise: &C. thought, though no
doubt was wrong, that the use of a
baby to you would be partly to furnish
you with raw material for philosopher,
partly to enable you by constant obser-
walton to gain further evidence bearing
on such vexed questions as, whether tko
infant gains its ideas of space by feeling
about, whether it is conscious of itself,
etc. " "Wel," he said, laughing, 81
don't expect much help from my infant
In those matters, unless I can get inside
her and think her thoughts. "Her
thoughts?" cried in amazement: you
don't mean to say it's girl? Good
gracious you are not going to educate a
female philosopher" He looked rather
vexed. "Of course it's a girl" he said.
'tThe father of female philosopher q"
[ .gasped. "Dear mel" said he, some
what testify; "isn't it enough to be
father of a noble woman ?"
Now have often put up with great
deal from my learned friend, and am
quite aware that have been spoken of
as " bozzy" behind my back. But there
is turning point even for the worm,
and nobody will sit forever at the feet
which are constantly kicking him. 1
1.a1 ,,fa1>oI I.