The Osceola times., 1880-08-07
WAYS OF THE WORLD.

ana not 1or tue pufIfpsc VI shoNhiS u4n
colored stockings.
NoXR but the dealer in calico should
properly be styled Merchant Prints-es.
All others are frauds.
THs Bernhardt has had TO pay fine
of Sc, 900 for breaking her engagement
with her Paris manager.
JAPANESE doctors will not set bro
ken leg on Friday, but compel the VIC
tim TO wait another day.
THK man who stepped on banana
peel thought, while he was sitting down,
that he had stepped on peal of bells.
IT is no matter il you do not like the
only hotel-keeper a small tows has.
You must try and put up with him.
WHEN a man becomes SO perfectly
proper that butt will not melt in his
mouth, he must chew his oleomargarine.
IT is thought that Mount Nesuvius is
approaching crisis. considerable
amount of inside grumbling is going on.
k you are ever nominated for the
Presidency couch your letter as follows:
Thanks. | accept. Let's win If we
can"
An English baronet, Sir Edward Black
EFT, at the ripe age of rs, is about TO lead
for the third time to the hymeneal altar
abride.
IsN'r there one Judge in this country
with enough progressiveness about him
TO hang a man on some other dav than
Friday?
NEw HAVEN Register: "A New Orleans
man has just died of eating matches.
DIR. Tanner is trying to died of non
eating match"
IT is asserted that Gen. Meigs, the
Chief Quartermaster of the army, writes
such hand that his wife never read one
of his love-letters.
An Illinois lady writes that the mission
of a widow in this life is TO tell to her
casual male acquaintance how elegant
all other men are.
GRANDMAMMA: "Now, Nellie, spell ice"
Nellie: Ice" Grandmamma: "Do YOU
know what ice is?" Nellie: "Yes, grand.
mamma; it's water fast asleep"
SENATOR BLAINE has returned to Au.
gusta, where he has refused the urgent
entreaties of his constituency to permit
them to offer him formal reception.
NJ. CnEvREuL, of Paris, is the oldest
working scientist in the world, and now,
in his ninety-fifth year, he has COM
menced course of lectures on chemis.
try.
GUSTAV RICHTER, the famous German
painter, is seriously ill with consumption.
He is unable to finish two splendid por-
traits of German celebrities now in his
studio.
THE Supreme Court of Wisconsin has
decided that dealing in gram "on mar
gin" is gambling and that contracts of
this kind will not be enforced by the
courts.
The Chinese are learning to chew
American fine-cut tobacco, and the dav
IL not far distant when the Celestial
Empire will rise Up and call Uncle Sam
a good boy.
BIERsrADr, the artist, is about to erect
cottage at Newport, on ConInicut
Island, near the famous old fort, known
as the "Dumplings," at the entrance to
the harbor.
Ar the time Capt. Cook was killed and
eaten he had three wives, and would
have been imprisoned had he reached
home. His death was therefore a lucky
thing for him.
IT must have been an exceptionally
dull boy who was persuaded to work a
wheelbarrow under the impression, as
stated by his father that 1t was an i'm
proved kind of bicycle.
PRINCE RONALD BoNArARrE will soon
marry Mdlle. Marie Blanc, the daughter
of Monaco Blanc. Her incJme annually
Is 100000. HIS property consists of his
name and an old sword.
A CHICAGO preacher is trying to get a
corps Of young ladies to serve as ushcrs
In his church. as a means of attracting
the Young men. He seams to think girls
have a genius for taking in young men.
LITTLE Johnny went fishing last Sun
day without consulting his parents.
Next day a neighbours boy met him and
asked, did you catch any thing yester-
day?" Not till got home" was the
sad response.
The Elmira Free Press says that when
the young lady appealed to Mr.. Chas A
Dana for protection, he replied: "My
dear, excuse me. have an engagement.
Apply to VIM. II. Kemble. His address
is Philadelphia"
A FRENCH actress, who has graduated
from the laundry, asked an old manager
what he thought was her 'best line OF
business" Glancing at her sumptuous
wardrobe, he replied: "The clothes.lne
still, mademoiselle."
VIRGINIA CRY boasts of the quality OF
her beets that are claimed to be Is car
rots fine, and OF carrots that beat her
beats. Virginia City does not expect
any one to turn up their nose at her
agricultural products.
MILE. GREvY, daughter of the Ffcnch
President, has received pretty gift from
one OF the Siamese ambassadors in
France. 1t is dress of the peculiar
material and pattern reserved Tor the
use of the royalties of Siam.
IT must be rare fun to fall in love with
an Indiana girl. One OF them with Il
breach-of promise suit testified that il
was the usual thing for girls to show
heir love-letters to 10 or 20 other girls,
in order to make them jealous.
HANOVER College, the oldest college in
Indiana, will hereafter educate Young
women on the same terms as young
men. The institution is under Presby-
terian control, and it is nearly the last
of the fifteen Presbyterian colleges OF
the State to accept co-education. The
experiment of co education is bound to
have a thorough trial.
A COLLECTION of % pins, very well
made, have been placed IN the Louvre.
They were found in the subterranean