The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-03-03
Railroad Amenities

ssBaldwinsville,' the fast passenger re-
marked "isn't that where Artemus Ward
lived? Didn't he used to winter his great
moral show there? Wasn't it at the Bald
winsville sskulehoQse' he made his great
speech on the occasion Of the twins2''
eyes, the man on the wood-box re-
piled, sit was Baldwinsville.
"Down at Hornellsville," the tall thin
passenger remarked, sssome Of the boys
were telling me about young fellow
who lost his wife. They took her remains
to some remote point, her old home, be-
lieve, for interment. On their way back
home the bereaved husband. accompan-
led by the physician, stepped off the
train at a dining station for little re-
freshment. When they went IN, they saw
man at the lunch counter, his elbows
squared, and his jaws working like
an electric machine. When they went in,
he standing about midway between the
ends of the counter. The physician and
the mourner couldn't help noticing that
every thing on the counter below the
man was gone: cleaned out, devoured !;
and every thing above him was untouch-
ed. Steadily the man worked his devas-
tatlng way toward the bountiful end of
the counter, and other passengers stood
back to see fair play and give the count
er chance. In time, the man worked
his way clear and clean up to the wall !;
he surrounded the last sawdust sand
wicb; he wrestled down the last piece Of
waterproof mince pie; he choked little
on the last plaster paris cast OF dongh-
nut, but he got it down. Then with a
profound sigh, gazing along the wreck
strewn counter, he walked away with
the air of a man who had Just sacrificed
himself for the good of his fellow-men,
saying, in tones of triumphant satisfac-
ton:
"There, by gaul! the next fellow that
comes along here will get something
fresh -
II suppose, porter" the fat passenger
remarked, as he filed into the Boston
sleeper, II suppose you can let me have
a nice lower berthe"
And the porter said he could; Just one
lower than the roof. The fat passenger
sighed and yielded to his fate.
IL don't mind it so much" he said:
1.-THE last time had lower berth the
man who slept above nae got up tour
times to get drink, and every time but
once, when he came down, he swung un-
der his berth and struck both his feet in
to my stomach. The other time he struck
them in my face"
"Its pleasant" the man with the sam
pie cases said, "to sleep over the man
who shores in three or four languages"
eyes," said the cross passenger, cor
over nervous man, who sits up sudden
ly, bolt upright, every time the engine
whistles, bumps his head against the bot
tom of your berth with crash, and
swears you awake for the next twenty
miles,
"Or over the man who groans in his
sleep,'' the tall, thin passenger remarked,
''and makes you think he is being MUIR
dered, or dying, and then gets cross and
snarls and swears at you if you ask him
what is the matter" "
"And it's pleasant to get up in the
morning and find the man in the lower
berth has put on your shoes,' said the
fat passenger.
"Or to lay your brush and comb down
IN the dressing room, and have the big
stock drover at the next ever pick them
up and rake down his thatch with them,
under the impression that they belonged
to the car"
"Or have some fellow lay the cake of
soap on your ooth-brush."
"Or to lay your clean collar and cuffs
down on seat while you wash, and have
some passenger about the build of our
tat friend come along and sit down on
them.''
'Or to get partly through with your
additions, and your eyes full of soap, and
stand with your hands and hair dripping,
and find the last clean towel gone and
the porter down at the other end of the
car at the ladies dress1ng-1oom."
"Tickets for your berths, please" the
porter said, and the convention adjourn
ed, and scrambled into its skylight
berths.