The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1880-12-30

tHOlfA tfON nina SAD INTERVIEW.
A correspondent OF the New York Sun
from Hartford writes as follows: Under or
dlnary circumstances II would no doubt be
judicious 10 withhold from the public the
information which / am about to commuui-
cate. But as exaggerated accounts OF Mr..
Mark Twain's present condition are already
In circulation here in town, and as these
false reports are likely. sooner or later, to
reach the ears OF The bumorist's friends in
other parts Of the country, causing them
greater solicitude than the true facts war
raut, 1t seems best TO publish an accurate
aud authentic statement OF the case.
IL Is well known that Mr.. Clemens is sub
ject to protTacted spells OF profound mel
ancholy, usually eliminating in hallucina-
tions Of the most biZlrre character. After
one OF these attacks he was seized with O
sudden aud unaccountabIe but intense
hatred for a bust of Calvin, presented to
Mrs. Calvin on her wedding day by her
uncle, a clergyman. Mark TWAIN fancied
that this little harmless image meant to
do him evil and after heapng coniume-
ly on his foe by disiguriug the plaster
face with linked moustlche and a goatee,
he at last put an end 10 the magma
ry feud and TO the bust by demohshine it
with poker. At another time Twain be-
lieved himself to be the real editor OF Gen.
era Joe Hawley's paper, the Courdnt. and
his illusion led to some curious complica-
tions that would have been amusing IL they
bad not been serious. Again, il is said be
tried 10 take up q collection along the mid
die aisle OF Rev. Joe TwitchelPs church, at
the moment fancying him a deacon. By
similar illusions he has been led at times TO
attcmptan active part in politics.
Although aware that ever since his speech
at the Grant reception Mr. Clemens has
been suffering from melancholla, did not
know until this morning what form the at
tack had taken. i met Mr.. J-,a a COM
mon friend OF mine and Mr.. Clemens, in
front OF the post. office. d" Have you been
up TO Twain's lalely?" he asked. NO."
said /. "Is anything the matter?"
" Well, you had better go up and see," he
replied, with a significant motion OF his
right forefinger.
So proceeded through the damp, chilly
air and slushy mud OF Christmas morning
10 Twan's bright-red mansion and rang the
door-bel Was MIR. Clemens at home
No, not exactly. That was to say he wasn't
in the house; | might find him yonder in
the north ward, behind the barn. turned
up the bottoms OF my trousers and trudged
through the mud and snow TO the place in
dicated by the domestic. There | di>coy-
cred the humorist standing on an empty
dry.goods box. His posture was very erect
His arms were tightly pressed against his
sides. He wore a long ulster, reaching TO
his ankles and on his head high-peaked
hat, procured during his travels in The Ty-
rol. His face was solemn.
"Helo," Mark, said j; what are you
doing on that box? Merry Christmas
He sufiy inclined his head. "Dldn>t you
know? 2" he demanded. in slow, grave
tones, "tbat antedate the Christian era Dy
MANY centuries? What in the thunder do
you mean by talking Christmas in my pre-
sence!"
"Come, come" said "no joking. Get
down off the box and go in where it's
warm"
"If YOU refer 10 the PEDESTAL" he re-
plied. al can't get down unless Pm low
cred. And as 10 the temperature, 1t has III
tle effect on a monollth, seasoned as i am
seasoned"
"Yon look like monolitb," | admitted,
Gin that ulster and that bat"
You really think so ?" he eagerly asked.
His features relaxed to an expression some
thing like comp!acency, and he sat down
npon the edge OF The box and began TO drum
against the side with his heels. You really
believe Pm the genuine, only original QUE
liski"
"Obeisk !" saie |. 81 saw the obelisk
dav before yesterday in New YORK. TheyVe
got 1t as far rs the trestlework. You're q
humorist. not an obelisk."
Mark Twain Immediately ascended the
box again, while his features once more as
sumed their stony look. "1ou have been
imposed upop," he remarked with great
/ mr. 81; In Not is hnOIlS
| IL is q practical joke OF Gorrlnge's. Ii Is
| Cardiff giant of an obelsk-a composite
plaster fraud concocted on the voyage over,
and palmed off on an unsuspecting commu-
rjty' The real obeisk was shipped to Hart
| ford by Freight No. 27, New York, New
Haven and Hartford ralroad. You behold
| il at this identical moment
took of my hat. This seemed to please
| him good deal.
| "Excuse me,o he went on. "I am a trifie
toucby on the subject. Every monolith Is
| naturally sensitive when his authenticity Is
called In question. Don't appear stiff and
hard enough to satisfy the most skeptl-
calf" :.
"You look stiff and hard enough" said
III. "but where are your bieroglyphics.
| That's the test of true obelisk-thc hero
glypbics."
| "Just Wnat eNptcttu, ue i"ou,
with some show OF feeling. "There don't
appear to be any hieroglyphics, perhaps you
think. Singular, but I'd noticed the fact
myself, and it's given me considerable con-
cern. D-n those bIeroglyphics - he con-
tinued, getting excited. 81 don't know
| what TO make OF II. Sometimes think Cor
rjnge took 'em and plastered 'em onto his
sham shaft. Then think Marshall jew
elps stolen 'em for telegraphic CT.
pher. Then again / surmise that they've
merely struck iD, and will blossom
out again as soon as Pye got ac-
climated. But youll allow that It's putting
a respectable Egyptian antiquity at dis
advantage to steal bus hierogiyphics. Any
fool can come along end say You're no
obelisk where the d. are your hero.
glypbicsr" ,.
OF selfdeception. knew 1t was no use to
reason with him. Happily, these attacks
do not last, as q rule, more than ten day. or
fortnight, and the friends Of the clever
humorist have no cause foI serious anxiety
on his account.
ran this may be true, but 1t reads rather
| like "sell."]
Judge Bond has ordered the spartanburg