The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-02-18

De ath may love shining marx, but
we observe that the bald heaoed 1--we
about as long as anybody. ElnaarG Fret
Press.
An unloaded gun and a Georgia
mule should be given all the room they
want. Never stand 10 front of the one,
nor in the rear of the sother. -Attantd
Constitution.
John-The philosophy of a dogs run
ping when a can is tied TO his tail, instead
of biting the string off. is not clearly under
stood Syracuse Times,
A promising youth about to be classified
by his father. called upon his grandfather
to protect him from the 'superfuous
middleman
An English coaehman was asked to
tie up dog, aud he resigned on the
ground that it was the buffers duty. The
butler declined and resigned, and after six
servants had left the Earl tied up-the dog
himself.
The class 10 grammar sswill please to
stand up and answer this question: How
do you parse the word dollar?" Please
sir, if it's trade dollar, you parse it for
90 cents"
do you see this stick, sir? said very
stupid acquaintauce to Sydney Smith.
This stick has been all around the world
sir ''Iadeed! Aud yet it's only a
stick" said the remorseless Sydney.
80 said a lady recently to merchant,
your pretty daughter has married a rich
husband 2" We'll" slowly replied the
father, Il believe she has married a rich
man. but [ understand he is a very poor
husband.
S)me predict that tho time will come
when people can read each Others thoughts
like book 1t is sad to tbink that many
fly leaves will be discovered where least
expected. --LoaoeU Journal.
Another exhibition of the Indians alb
horrence of the arts of civilization is seen
in the fact that the guilty Utes absolutely
refuse to surrender themselves to our
Government for the purpose of being
hanged. -NOrrlSt01oa Herald.
The music of the future will be written
iD higher key, says musical exchange.
Don't care it it is. But what we demand
| is that tho galiows be raised ten feet
higher for the men and women who in
duge in it, SO that there may be no chance
of escaping with particle of life Neac
York Express.
Appearances are deceiving. We know
OF girls that look as angelic. delicate and
modest as dewdrop on a rosebud, who.
| when they get sweetlg settled in the arms
of Morpheus, will snore with an energy
that vii! shake the button on the outside
cellar door.
There is really DO necessity for ones
taking cold. nor even any occasion tor il ii
New York medical mau can be believed.
He says that coId-taking is simply the
Il 4 II, g a
reduce the vital energy of nerve centers
| organs" That's all there ia tc it. When
you begin to sUeezs aud cough, all yCu
have to ID il TO enlarge he vial energy Of
| nerve oeuters 4 man must be idi3tic
or else the disciple OF pure cussedness it
he will catch cold after this. Boston Post.
When Z woman has big feet she packs
| them 10 a pair of shoes three sizes too
small and tries TO feel happy, but when
the feet are smsl she incases them il the
dai0tiess Of slippers and sticks them
right out, SO all The world can see thcm.
An English journalist describes Berlin
as OBSERVATIONS and uBprepossessing, pre-
tentious and unattraclive, garish and yet
not brilliant"
The Sultan has 1000 servants, and the
DIeuDSDfIiic L4CTQtL LulHhS IL WbQlU NC u
good time for him to open an intelligence
Office,
Temperance aud prosperity walk hand
in hand.-Ne,o York Express. This is a
very good sentiment, but it isn't true.
We have known men so terri6cally tenn
perate that prosperity wouldn't be seen in
their company, while some gin gazzling
fellow was scoapiug in an Income of $l0,-
900 year -Nea0 HaUen Register
Children and brass hands, in their ex-
treme youth don't amount TO much with
out a tutos 0cego hec0ri. Who ever
saw brass bands in their extreme youth p
Nelo York Express Who ever saw them
when arrived to years of discretion, would
be more appropriate question = ocies-
ter Express. a brass band, sir. cometh
up in the night; no youth, middle Gga. or
old manhood. sir. Nay. nothing but
pounding, aud blowing aud yelling. and
there is DO law in any State which pre-
vents fellow from using the garden hose
on brass band. Nelc York Express
Cease this wrangle Ii a cross eyed baby
10 refractory mood, can't Guido a brass
band or q cottage organ, we are perfectly
satisfied to let the Express man have a
fathers experience -4foaa County Re.
cord,