davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28
All Sorts.

Jail birds are confined IN guilt cages
Boston Transcript.
De Lesseps' motto according to Puck
came, | saw. 1 went.
Deep mourning-the groaning of tL
sea. --Steubenville Herald.
A cats mouth is like free show
open to waul.-BOston Post.
Domestics belong to the hire class O
society.-Yonkor's Gazette.
Madam, never bang u door, if you d,
adore u bang. boston Transcript.
a bellies te-bcllum days are thos,
before marriage. philadelphia Chron
icIe.
The oyster is looking forward towart
his sunEer vacation. 49, Boston Tran
script.
While being wise, keep straight
Never be crOsswlse.- Boston Tran
script.
Cried tho corpulent Britisher, VIVA
makes me so stout 2" ans echo answered
"Stout!'
Gardeners find the April weather
very apt to spring leek New Orleans
Picayune.
Jupiter, like many good farmers
now rises an hour before the un.-New
York Herald.
Second thoughts are best. 1t is mol
the same with mortgages. New Or
leans Picayune.
The elevator boy has much to dc
towards the elevation Of the masses. -
Boston Transcript.
A gap in TIE carving knife betokens
that Il spring chicken has been in the
house.-Boston Transcript.
There is IA feeling of beautiful salts.
faction in 3 calm contemplation of our
own yirtues.--N. Y. Com. ADV.
Honesty is the best policy" but too
many people claim that they cannot af-
ford the best Of anything Modern
Argo.
The reason that persons flo their
marriage int, ntions is that erythipg
may pass eli smoothly. Yawcob
Strau 3.
The photograph is almost a forgotten
Invention. 1t talhtu Dack. ana soon
became unpopuar.-New Orleans Pic
ayUne.
ooh, pal cried a little fellow upon
seeing a trout for the first time. 81 5
got the measles, hasn't it?'-Boston
Transcript.
1t looks bad to see scissors grinder
busily engaged in front Of q newspaper
OIL 20 two days in . week. -Syracuse
Sunday Times.
An old maid in Texas has applied to
the Board of Lighthouse Inspectors for
IA list of buoys just published. New
Orleans Picayune.
Fishes go in schools. And it is as
serted, by persons with piscatorial ten
denotes, that some play "hooky."-
lonker's Statesman.
Notwithstanding the annual recur-
renee OF Lent, the fast men of this
country far outnumber the fast days.
Philadelphia Chronicle.
Said the Arkansas man: respec!
religion, but can You fairly expect me
to attend church when there is a circus
in town demanding support?'
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28
Personal.

4 (IluuSLOuS SuthVAS hV hASoo'
Cow!ey rather likes his prison.
Mrs. Langtry's be Auty is failing.
Senator Groome, OF Maryland, eat
pelruts in the s,reet-cars.
Mrs. Hayes does not believe in CAPT
tal punishment, thereby differing from
her husband
Blue Glass Plcasanton still lives ant
still believes in his glass, u sad example
of the danger OF taking one glass too
much.
Mr.. Bailey, the DauJury NeW
Man. has been appointed a member 0
the Connecticut woman suffrage com
mittee.
Miss Frances L. Willard. having JUS
completed temperance campaign il
the East, will next give her attention tt
the Pacific coast.
Carlotta Patti has paid the costs il
the libel suit brought by her against q
st. Louis paper for copying an article
accusing her Of Icing intoxicated.
Ellen O'Neill. a poor woman, has
lust been sent to penltentiary for one
wear lol -ANC CCIto Ill
New York. Ii she had embezzled 500,
900 it would have been all right.
Elizabeth, of Austria, is one of the
most cultivated sovereigns in the world.
She draws beautifully, is good must
clan and speaks iiuently all the Ian
guages Of modern Europe. She is fond
of literature and among her attendants
La l.,
Victor Hngos daily walks are taken
after the most aimless fashion. He sets
ont for Il stroll through Paris, takes the
first omnibus or Car he comes across,
getting out whenever the fancy strikes
him, walks along with no dciiuite goal
in view-a loungor who is in no hurry
and who takcs interest in everything
about him.
Senator David Davis, who has been
called u rich man, is by his friends
called Gland poor" Since he first
went to Illinois his surplus earnings
have been invested in land. lie lives
very simply in Washington, occupying
two piaiu rooms ia the National Hotel.
His attire is always simple. He is an
agreeable talktr, aud e man Of pleasant
courtesy.
Mary L. Logan, a poor woman Of
Milierstown, Pa, nursed q sick stral-
ger through II long illness until he was
able to be about again; and this without
expectation of acy pay, but prompted
solely through good hearednoSs and
sympathy with his loneliness and mis-
fortune. The man, who WAS Mr.. Ed
gene keefe of jamestown, n. Y then
went south in hopes of recovering his
health, but died there. leaving Mary
Logan all lie had-S25 900.
Mrs. Hannah Simpson Grant, the
mother of the General, is now at the
age of eighty living with her daughter,
Mrs Corbin, in small retired house
on the heights above Jersey City. She
is quiet and dignilied old lady, with
a small, straight figure and regular fea-
lures. The has bright dark eyes aud a
kindly smile, and she moves about
with unusual vigor and activity. Mrs.
Grant does not talk much about her
sons reelection. 1.-The General is not
in the habit of giving himself up to
coujectures,' she said the other day to
writer for The Press, of Philadelphia.
"When "a question arises he decides
it, aud L do not think he has given any
thought to the possibility of his being
nominated again."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28
Josh Billings Philosophy.

AZ general thing, thoze who deserve
good lux the least, pray the loudest
for it.
Mi dear boy, ,selekt yure buzzum
friend with CRATE caushun once Sc
lekted, endorse him with yure bottom
dollar.
Beaus seldum fall in luv, but wher
they do, they are spite for emmy regu
lar bizzness.
Kards and whiskey reduce all men tc
the same level, and very low level. al
that.
Good immitators are even nore skarse
than originals are.
think had rather liv in big City
and he unknown, than exist in village
obliged to kno evry boldly, or be sus
pekted bi them.
kan trace all ov mi bad LUX to baG
management, and guess others kan. il
they will be az honest az am about it
An immitashun to equal an origina
has got to beat it at least twenty five
per cent.
Larning il eazy enutf to acquire, wis
dunn Gums slo, but sticketh to the ribs
If yer expekt to suckceed in this life
yer must make the world think thai
yer are at work for them, and not fol
yureself.
You may find very plain-looking CO.
quets, but who ever saw q hansum
prude.
Life il meazured hi deeds, not years
menny q man haz lived to be ninety,
and left nothing behind him but al
obituara notiss.
Men luv for the novelty ov the thing
woman laws becauze she kant help it.
Thare il this excuse for luxury, all
luxuries kost money, and sum one reaps
the advantage.
The man who kant laf il an animal
and the one who won't il devil.
A festive old man il 3 burlesque on
all kinds of levity.
Fashun. like every thing else. repeats
itself. What liz new now, haz been new
menny times before, and will be again
SHEET SPONGE CAXE.-One cup Of
white sugar, enc egg, one half cup Of
sweet milk, one half cup of butter, two
teaspoonfuls of cream of tartar, one tea
spoonful of soda, flavor with lemon AND
! cut in sheets.
Il
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28
Too Active.

Your little son is perhaps trouble
some. He is never quiet, and is con-
stantly demanding attention. How
shall you abate this nuisance You
may try to destroy these bad habits by
scolding him, by rebukes, by lectures,
by punishments. That is one way, bat
not the best. These bad habits often
spring from an instinct of activity, an
intense desire to do something, which
the Creator has given the child IS q
means of mental and moral growth.
In trying to pull up the tsres You are
in great danger of roofing out the wheat
also. If you succeed by force in chang
ing his disagreeable torment of perpet-
ual activity into dull quiet, you have
changed bright boy into dull one.
A better way than destroying this ten
dency is to fulfill it by giving him
plenty of occupation Of an innocent
kind. Give him heap Of sand to dig,
blocks of wood to build houses with.
box Of tools, and boards to saw. Set
him at some work, useful or interesting,
or, at least, harmless. He will like all
this better than he likes mischief. All
his irregular activity was cry for
something to do. Give him that, and
you will have no further trouble.
A little boy, four years old, having
often been told it was wrong to ask for
anything at table, was down at dessert.
After patiently waiting for some time
without being noticed, he exclaimed,
"Mamma, please may I have an orange
il don't ask for it?" Eyes, DEAR"
was the reply. But after considerable
interval, the little fellow not getting
his orange, again addressed his mother
with, "Please, mamma, I'm not asking
for an orange" This time he was
duly rewarded. ..-
Land-grabbsrss should readI saiahv 8,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

SpoNeE CAKE.-Three eggs, beat five
minutes one and one-half cups OF
sugar, beat three minutes one cup of
-four with large teaspoonful of cream
Of tartar, beat two minutes one-half
cup of cold water, onc-half teaspoonful
OF soda, one-half teaspoonful of salt,
beat two minutes one teaspoonful OF
extract of lemon in the water ; one cup
of -four, beat one minute.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

To SOFTEN THE HANDs.--Half a pound
of mutton tallow, one ounce OF camphor
gum, one ounce Of glycerine; melt all
together, and set away to cool. Rub
the hands with this at night.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

CRYING BY TURNs.-A Yankee who had
Just lost his wife was found by a neigh
Dor emptying bowl of soup as large
as hand basin. "Why, my goodness,
Elanthus" said the gossip, sis that all
you care for your wife?" "Wal," said
the Yankee, "I've been cryin' all the
morning and after finish my soup I'll
cry another spell. That's fair anyhow
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28
What Eyes Are For.

The saying that the faculty of speech
was given to men that they may conceal
their thoughts is eclipsed by reply at
tributed to tho Chevalier Bunsen. He
was present with Bishop Bloomfield
and others at a " clairvoyant seance. "
The bishop, amazed at the performance
which, of course, he could not explain,
exclaimed, +" What then were our eyes
given us for?' Bunsen immediately
replied. ITO limit our vision This
certainly is clever paradox. The sig
nificant truth it expresses is confirmed
in every observing mans experience.
The hopeful and sanguine aud curious
see wonders mentally and can give the
exact dimensions, capacity and style of
castles in the air." But when actual
sight and experience are appealed to
the airy vision is limited and circum-
scribed by stubborn facts. Half our
lives are spent in dreaming and the
sight in dreams is far-reachiug and
magnifying. Bring tho theories of
philosophers and discoverers--the scope
of their imagined visaas down to the
test that seeing is believing and then
they frequently find the things they
see are but dissolving views. In the
political field the far-seeing" politi-
clans are preparing themselves for an
illustration of Bunsen's definition. All
see; but since all do not see alike,
there must be many cases of color
blindness, and the roseate hue, in the
actual light of events, will prove itself
somber to ninety and nine. If our
eyes are given us to limit our vision,
those are wise who make the limit in
clude what they actually know. and
never overlook the present and practi-
cal in trying to peer beyond.-Phiia-
delphta Ledger.
Colonel I. W. Higginson has been
lecturing before tho Harvard students
on The Young Man in Politics." and
this is one of the bits of conn on sense
which he administered :" Every young
man about to enter political life
should abandon the patronizing feeling
the feeling that he confers a favor on
the community by participating in its
affairs. Splendid careers are brought
to an untimely close simply on account
OF q patronizing way assumed toward
supposed interiors" In conclusion
Colonel Higginson said People like
an independent man, and life is rich in
opportunities in one way or in an
other"
CRYING BY TURNs.-A Yankee who had
lust lost his wife was fonnl hv a naiph-
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

PLAIN CREAM CooKIEs.-One and
one-half cups of sugar, two-thirds of o
cup of sour cream, one-half cup of sour
milk or buttermilk, one teaspOonful of
soda and a small half teaspoonful of
ginger.
CURE FOR CoUaH.-Boil a handful of
Iceland moss in cupful of milk and
drink before breakfast every morning.
1t will cure consumption, if not gone
too far.
To PRESERVE QU1NoEs.-After pairing
and coring good sound fruit, to one
pound of fruit add one pound OF sugar,
one pint of water, and cook one hour.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28
n Trick of the Imagination.

BY humoring the fancy OF an invalid,
an acute young surgeon made his for
tune. He was summoned to visit u
very wealthy single lady, far advanced
in years, who lad for year been suf.
fering from an alleged bristle of her
tooth brush that had fastened itself in
her throat. She stated that she had
consulted many eminent surgeons, but
they had uniformly assured her, after
critical inspection, that she was only
the victim of nervous delusion, that
her throat was perfectly healthy, that
the disturbance was only in her mag
ination. "And so they go on, the stu
pid, perverse, obstinate creatures"
concluded the poor lady. saying there
is nothing the matter with me. while l
am dying, dying, dying" The sur
geon caught his cue, and was equal to
the occasion, and after examining her
throat with much deliberation, an
nounced that she was quite right--that
the other physicians were mistaken he
could see the end of the bristle low
down, almost out of sight, and if she
would permit, he would run home, get
his instruments, and extract it instantly.
Certainly that was the very thing she
was longing for. The surgeon present
ly returned with delicate forceps, in
the teeth of which he had concealed a
bristle from toothbrush. The lady
threw her head back the surgeon in
troduced his forceps-a prick, a SILVER,
a scream, and it was all over. The sur
geon with q smiling face was closely
inspecting the extracted bristle. The
lady was in raptures she Immediately
recovered her health and spirits, and
went about everywhere sounding the
praises of her savior, as she called the
surgeon. From that fortunate day his
fortune was made.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

You should consider your adversary
as absent when his senses are departed.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

A Scotch gentleman, visiting some
friends in England. displayed in con-
versation such contempt for the men,
DRY of England's most illustrious sons
that one of the family resolved to pay
him off in his own coin. He therefore
took down q steel engraving of John
Knox which adorned the dining-room
wall and hung it up in a lightless lum-
Der room. The Scotchman missing the
picture, asked what had become of it..
We no longer consider your reformer
worthy of place here" said his friend =,
therefore We have hung him up in u
dark Closet You could not have
done BETTER" said the Scotchman. -
consider the situation worry appropri-
ate, for if ever man could throw light
on dark thing that was the man."
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

Brown BREAD.-One pint corn meal,
pour over it one pint boiling water, a
teacupful molasses. shorts or graham
-four enough to made stiff batter. two
eggs, one teaspoonful of soda dissolved
in little boiling water steam three
hours by putting in pan in steamer
over a pot of hot water keep the water
boiling all the time.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

An idle brain is the devils workshop.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

We have heard of the Methodist
minister who changed his parish so Of
ten that at last he was accustomed to
say that he was settled on horseback,
and it must have been his daughter
who, when asked where her native
place was, replied that she didn't have
any, because her father was q Metho'
dist parson.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

No man can lift himself above the
world unless he takes hold of some
thing higher than the world he can't
lift himself out of himself, unless he
grasps something higher than him
self.
1--WE had short-cake for tea" said q
little girl to neighbours boy, to whom
she was talking through fence. $50
did we, he answered !" very short-so
short it didn't 60 round"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

A passenger in a crowded street
car, the other day, observed the entrance
of a man followed by an old woman,
and, seeing that she looked tired and
weak, he considerably rose and offered
her his seat. Before she could take
it, however, the man had quietly filled
the vacancy. Here, just come ont OF
that said the passenger, II didn't
give up my seat to you, but to the lady. .
To which the fellow replied, without
Offering to move, 80, yah dot is all
right-dot lady is mien wife,"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-28

Land-grabbsrs should read saiahv 9 /,
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-07-16

The greatest regularity should be OBJ.
served In feeding and caring for hens.
Have regular time for all the different
operations. and the hens will become s.
methodical as their keepers. Eggs
should be gathered runctually twice a
day, or oftener in very cold weather.
The morning feed should not be given
too hot. If some of II freezes before IL
rs eaten, break il up with hammer and
n will soon be consumed. In very cold
weather it Is advisable 10 put little
cayenne pepper and sprinkle Of salt in
their morning food. Besides the above
enumerated articles. the hens should
have all the scraps from the table; they
are very fond of them, and will turn
them to better account than cats or
dogs will. Let US recapitulate: Give
your hens reasonable share Of your at
tcntion; furnish suitable accommoda-
tious; get and keep the right breed; DO
not keep too many-fifty hens and four
cocks are as many as should ever he
kept togethsr-half the number will do
per cxpita, save only pullets, the earliest
hatch, for laying; furnish as great va
riety Of diet as possible, and feed as
much as they will eat; give green food
aud animal food of some sort In winter
keep the hens quiet and comfortable;
dQn't allow them to be worried or
frightened; water is as important as
food, and shonld be kept clean and fresh.
These rules, intelligently applied, will
secure an abundant supply Of eggs at al
times Il the year.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-07-16
Agricultural Department,
SALES OF REGISTERED SHEEP.

James r. belong, West Cornwalls "a
Messrs. Rich q Sampson, Shoreham
four rams from the flock Of q. ID. Bry.
ant, and two from that of. q. Woos.
ter, Cernwall.- 10 Vim. d. Dewey,
Sslisbnrx tbtee fams from the flook 81
re. Wooster s.e~9 RA.4sA.-a
Merrill bingham, West Cornwall, Ia
Hugh McAdams, Montana, sixty.eigh'
ewes and twenty rams.
II. Harrington, Keeler's Day. to II.
Robinson, South Hero, one RAM,
J. G. Award e. Son, Patasksla, o.,
10 Perry Peck, Pstaska, o., ak ewee
10 John Guernsey, Alexandria, o., one
ewce to j. W. Pollock, Cedafyille, o.,
three ewes; to j. d. Williamson,
Xenia, o., nine ewes; 60 II, D. A.
Stanbus, Washington, o., five ewes
to Hill & Dewolf, Johnston, O., six
rams.
1. L. Eells, Middlebury, to Mr..
Fsrnham, Shorcham, one eve from
the fock OF NJ. NJ. Peck, Cornwall ;
to Judsoni A. 9 Wright, Middlebury,
five ewes and one ram FROM his own
flock, twelve ewes from the flock OF
d. X. Hall, Plttsford, three ewes from
the flock of e. & L. Hendce, Pittsford,
ave from that Of IL. Collins, Ira, two
ewos and one ram from the flock Of l..
s. & l.. W. Pcet, Cornwall, one eve
from that of A.P. Thornton, Castle
ton, four ewes from that of ]. 5.
Wing. Cornwall. and one from that OF
G. D. Lane, Middlebury; to A. Syms,
Texas, three rams from the flock GIN.
NJ. Peck, Cornwall, two from that oi
y. p. Lee, Middlebury, and two from
that of l.. S. & L. w. Peet, Cornwall.
ii. Is. Close, st. Clairsvillc. o.; To
I. J. Close, st. Clairsville, three ewes
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-07-16

Does it pay for farmers who have al.
ready enough to 90 to bother with
strawbtr ries and other small ffuitsP is a
question often asked by those VITO have
never tiled their culture. The answer
depends upon the meaning of the word
pay" lfheAlth, contentment end hap
pIness nre worth working for the ems wer
Is In the affirmative; but II the al
mighty dollar" Is the only thing in ques-
ton then the answer is no, for POTATOES
can DO grown at less cost per b,ishel and
NE equally nutritious rs food. These
fruits are looked upon as luxu:es by tie
wealthy residents Of cities, and extIava-
giant prices are often paid for them after
they have been transported many miles
and exposed for sale for hours in the hot
and dusty streets, and it is a pity If the
fermer. on whose soil they will grow
secntaneously ifonly given opportunity.
cannot afford the slight trouble they re-
guire, for tho privilege of pan taking OF
them in all their freshness.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-07-16
The Cnnso Of Climatic. Changes.

- - f@rf"
The climate Changes which bsy<
taken place during recent years In the
United states Is ascribed BY. Prof. Tice,
a Western meteorologist, 70 The great
physical changes that have bsenwr6ught
by man within the last half century
upon our continent, by covering 10 with
a network of railroads and. telegraph
poles. The two most notable chahges
have occurred In tho West, on the lines
Of the great failroads.N 7Theseare tona-
does and an Increased rainfull Prof,
Tice In discussing the first part of his
subject points out that electricity is the
cause Of all meteorologio phenomena.
Wind of every kind, cyclones, cloud
formation, rain, hail and snow-falls, are
all electric phenomena. Speaking Of
tho once dry and sterile plains now
made fertile by tho more frequent rains,
he says: Wherever cloud drifts, for
1t to live the surface of the earth be-
meath it must be In such condition
that 1t can obey the electric induction
of the positive cloud upon it 30 as 10
confront It with the negative. Instan-
taneously communication will be estab-
lishcd between the earth and the cloud.
A dry and sandy soil cannot respond to
the electric induction Of clouds. Hence
no clouds drift over them without i'm
mediately dying for want of sustenance.
Railroads and telegraph lines obeying
such induction, instantly bring the
needed electric charge underneath the
cloud. Tho clouds are fed and album
dant rains fall In regions that were
deserts before. 80 Vf ga q