Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-03-26
The Brakeman Who Went to Church,

YesP" | said. with that interested
infection that asks for more. And
what church did you attendp"
Which do you guessp" he asked.
Some union mission church?"
hazarded.
Nav" he said, al don't like to run
on these branch roads very much. /
don't often go to church, and when /
do, l want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you 90
on schedule time and don't have to
wait on connections. don't like to run
on branch. Good enough, but l don't
like it."
" EpiscopalP" l guessed.
Limited express" he said, call PAL
ace cars and two dollars extra for a
seat; fast time, and only stops at the
big stations. Nice line, but too ex-
haustive for brakeman. All train men
lantern silver plated, and no train
boys allowed. Then the passengers are
allowed to talk back at the conductor !;
and it makes them too free and easy.
No, couldn't stand the palace cars.
Rich road, though. Don't often hear
of receiver being appointed for that
line. Some mighty nice people travel
on it, too"
"UniversalistP" l guessed.
BROAD gauge" said the brakeman,
"does too much complimentary bust
ness. Everybody travels on pass.
Conductor doesn't get fare once in
fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but a
union depot. No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are vague, though,
and the trainmen don't get along well
with the passengers. No, l don't go to
the Universalist, though | know some
awfully good men who run on that
road"
Perhaps you went to the Unitari-
ansP"
"No, Il didn't, but I might have done
worse. That is mighty good road, =,
well ballasted witt reason, though it
runs through region little bit cold,
anC there is apt to be some ice and
dent there is no danger of upsetting the
stoves and being burnt up; and there's
one good thing about it, the neighbors
are generally ready to come and help
when you do get into trouble. They
like to have things nice and comfort
able in this world, doing what they
think is about right and taking their
chances for the other. They don't seem
to take much stock in being as miser-
able as you can here in the hope that
you will be the happier for it there.
They seem to think that mans going
to reap the same kind of crop that he
plants, and that if he puts in a selfish
worthless kind of a life on this eartn il
amt a-going to come out very fine
specimen in heaven. Seems to me
some sense as well as poetry in that
but | was raised an orthodox anC
'twouldn't do for me to be seen on that
train Or nj; ;she looo my pldUc UH Jn'
other line, as there's a good deal o
competition between the two roads, anC
our folks are getting afraid of losin4
travel"
Presbyterian" l asked.
Narrow gauge. ehP" said the brake
man, "pretty track, straight as rule
tunnel right through a mountain rather
than go around it; spirit level grade
passengers have to show their ticket!
before they get on the train. Might y
strict road, but the cars are little mar
row: have to sit one in a seat and M
room in the aisle to dance. Then there
no stop-over tickets allowed; got to go
straight through to the station you're
ticketed for, or you can't get on at all
When the cars full, no extra coaches
cars built at the shops to hold just 81
many and nobody else allowed on. Blu
you don't often hear of an accident OF
this road. It's run right up to th'
rules
'Maybe you joined the free thinkersP p
| said.
"Scrub road" said the brakeman
dirt road bed and no ballast; no tim
card and no train dispatcher. Al
trains run wild and every enginee
makes his own time, just as he pleases
Smoke if you want to; kind of go-as
you-please road. Too manv side track
and every switch wide open all th
time, with the switchman sound asleeT
and the target lamp dead out. Get ol
as you please and get off when yo,
want to. Don't have to show you
tickets, and the conductor isn't expected
to do anything but amuse tine passen
gers. No, sir, | was offered pass, bu
| don't like the line. don't like t,
travel on Il line that has no terminus
Do you know, sir, l asked division
superintendent where that road run to
and he said he hoped to die if he knew
| asked him if the general superinten
dent could tell me, and he said h
didn't believe they had a general su
perintendent, and if they had he didn'
know any more about the road thai
the passengers. | asked him who h
reported to, and he said nobody
asked a conductor who he got his or
ders from, and he said he didn't TAX
orders from any living man or deat
ghost: And when I asked the engineee
who he got his orders from, he saiC
he'd like to see anybody give him or
ders, he'd run that train to suit him
self or he'd run it into the ditch. Nov
you see, sir, I'm railroad man, and
don't care to -un on road that make
no connections, runs nowhere and ha
no superintendent 1t may be all right
but I've railroaded too long to under
stand it,"
"Did you try the Methodist"
asked.
"Now you're shouting" he said wit
some enthusiasm. Nice road, eh
Fast time and plenty of passengers
Engines carry power of steam, an
don't you forget it; steam gauge show
hundred and enough all the time
Lively road; when the conducto
shouts all aboard you can hear hir
to the next station. Every train lam
shines like headlight. Stop-ove
checks given on all through tickets
T passengers drop off the train as ofte
as they like, do the station two c
three days and hop on the next reviv;
train that comes laundering alon!
Good, whole-souled, companionab
conductors; amt road in the countr
where the passengers feel more ;
home. No passes; every passeng'
pays full traffic rates for his ticke
lrn Ii A..r,s L.