The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1880-11-04
The True Friends Of Union.
Among the men what dire divisions rise!
For ''union one" and one, "no union" cries

Among the men what dire divisions rise
For ''union one," and one, "no union" crtes
Shame on the sex, that such dispute began
Ladies' are all for unton-to a mani
"Sandy, is that the second bell ?" mo,
massa, OATS de second ringin' OBJ de fuss bell.
We haven't got no second bell in dis ere no.
tel
MTNUTE.-The thickest Of gold leaf is but
the 2S2, 000th part of an inch.
WANTED.-A thin man, who it used to the
business of collecting, to crawl through key
holes and find debtors who are "never at
home"
Desire not to live long, but to live WE'LL
How long we live, not years but actions tell.
Editors are strange people, and have some
times an odd way of expressing themselves.
One says that Democratic platforms are like
feather beds-not fit to stand upon, but excel
lent to lie upon,
SoLoN enacted law that children who did
not maintain their parents in old age when in
want should be branded with infamy, and lose
the privilege of citizens He, however, ex-
cepted from his rule those children whom
their parents had taught no trade nor pro-
vided with any other means of obtaining a
livelihood
THE SEA.-The largest of all cemeteries is
the sea, and its slumberers sleep without mon
uments. All other gravGyards iii other lands,
show some symbol of distinction between the
great and small, the rich and poor; but in the
ocean cemetery, the king and the clown the
prince and the peasant, are alike undstin-
guised. The same waves roll over all the
same requiem by the MINISTRIES of the ocean is
sung to their honor Over their remains the
co ,1oa ctr or,d no, oh
and there, unmarked, the weak and the pow
erful, the plumad and the unhonored, will
sleep on, until awakened by the same trump,
when the sea shall give up its countless hosts
of the dead of myriad generations
A crust of bread pitcher of water, a
matched roof, and love; there is happiness for
you, whether the day be rainy OF sunny. 1t is
the heart that makes the home, whether the
den Heart makes home precious, and it is the
only thing that can.
AN IRISH BULL.-'I was going" said an
lrishman, lover Westminster bridge the other
day, and met Pat Hewins Hewins," said
L, ''how are your" pretty well" said he,
Il thank you, Donnelly." "Donnelly," said I,
mine Hewins," said he So we looked at each
other again,z and sure it turned out to be
neither of us"
SLEEP.-The most violent passions and ex-
elements of mind cannot preserve even pow
ertul minds from sleep; thus Alexander the
Great slept on the field of Arbela, and Napo-
leon upon that of Austerlitz. Even stripes
and torture cannot keep off sleep, as criminals
have been known to sleep on the rack
Noises which at first serve to drive away
sleep, soon becomes indispensable to its ex-
stence; thus stage coach stopping to change
horses, wakes all the passengers. The pro-
prietor of an'iron forge who slept close to the
din of hammers and blast furnaces would
awake if there was any interruption to them
during the night, and a sick miller who had
the mill stopped on that account passed Sleep
less nights until the mill resumed it's usual
noise. Homer, in his Iliad elegantly repre-
sents sleep as overcoming all men, and even
the gods, except Jupiter alone.
Fools and obstinate people make lawyers
rich
WORKINGdEN should bear in mind that "protect-