Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1880-03-02
The Church Road.
BURDETT's INTERVIEW WITH THE RAIL
ROAD BRAKEMAN.

ROAD BRAKEMAN.
On the road once more, with Leba-
non fading away in the distance, the
fat passenger drumming idly on the
window pane, the cross passenger sound
asleep, and the tall thin passen ger
reading General Grants Tour Around
the World" and wondering why
"Green's August Flower" should be
printed above the doors of ga Buddhist
Temple at Benares." To me.comes the
brakeman, and seating himself on the
arm of the seat, says:
II went to church yesterday"
"Yes ?" [ said, with that interested
infection that asks for more. "And
what church did you attend ?"
(which do you guess?" he asked.
'Some union mission church ?"
hazarded.
"Naw," he SAID" 81 don t like to run
on these branch roads very much. I
don't often go to church, and when do,
I want to run on the main line, where
your run is regular and you go on sched-
ule time, and don't have to wait on con-
nections. I don't like to run on a
branch. Good enough, but l don't like
It,"
"Episcopal?" guessed
Limited express" he said, "all pal
ace cars and two dollars for a seat; fast
time and only stop at the big stations
Nice line, but too exhaustive for a brake
man. All train men in uniform, con-
ductor's punch and lantern silver
-plated, and no train boys allowed
Then the passengers are allowed to talk
back at the conductor, aud it makes
them too free and easy. No, I couldn't
stand the palace cars. Rich road, tho
Don't often hear of a receiver being ap
pointed for that line. Some mighty
nice people travel on it, too."
I'Universalist ?" suggested.
d BROAD gauge" said the brakeman :;
idoes too much complimentary bust
ness. Everybody travels on a pass.
Conductor doesn't get fare once in fifty
miles. Stops at all flag stations, and
wont run into anything but union de-
pot. No smoking car on the train.
Train orders are rather vague though,
and the train men don't get along
well with the passengers. No, didn't
60 to the Universalist, though L know
some awfully good men who run on that
road"
presbyterian ?' asked
Marrow gauge, Ell ?" said the brake
man. pretty track, straightas rule !;
tunnel right through mountain rather
than go around it; spirit level grade !;
passengers have to show their tickets
before they get on train. Mighty
strict road, but the cars are little mar
row; have to sit one in seat and no
room in the aisle to dance. Then there's
no stop over tickets allowed; got to 60
straight through to the station you're
ticketed for, or you can't get on at all.
When the cars full, no extra coaches :
cars built at the shops to hold just SO
many and nobody else allowed on. But
you don't often hear of an accident on
that road. It's run right up to the
rules"
. "Maybe you joined the Free Think
ers ?'' l said.
Scrub road" said the brakeman
"dirt road-bed and no ballast; no time
card and no train dispatcher. All trains
run wild and every engineer makes his
own time just as he pleases. Smoke if
you want to kind of a 60 as, you-pIease
road. Too many side tracks, and every
switch wide open all the time, with the
switchman sound asleep and the target
lamp dead out. Get Oh as you please
and get off when you want to. Don't
have to show your tickets, and the con-
ductor isn't expected TO do anything
but amuse the passengers. No. sir, [
was offered pass, bat l don't like the
line. rJon't like to travel on a road
that has no terminus. Do you know,
sir, / asked a division superintendent
where that road run to, and he said he
hoped to die if he knew. l asked ifthe
general superintendent could tell me,
and he said he didn't believe they had
q general superintendent, and if they
had, be didn't know anything more
about the road than the passengers. I
asked who he reported to, and he said
nobody I asked a conductor who he
got orders from, and he said he didn't
take orders from any living man or dead
ghost. And when I asked the engineer
who he got his orders from, he said he'd
like to see anybody give him orders,
he'd run that train to suit himself or
he'd run it into the ditch. Now, you
see, sir, I'm railroad man, and l don't
care to run on road that has no time,
makes 10 connections, runs nowhere
and has no superintendent. 1t may be