Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1880-11-13
ANOTHER THEORY BUSTED.

the city nau an aucClon OF ner house-
hold effects yesterday, and everything
went at prompt sale until little but
the bedstead was left. Just before
this vas put up some of the women
went spying around and discovered
that it was infested by bed bugs.
This fact was noised around until it
came to the ears of the auctioneer,
who mounted the box and said
"Words cannot express the poign-
ancy of my sorrow over the base
canard which has been put in circula-
tion in this crowd. have sold goods
in this town for twenty-nine lcng
years, and this is the first instance in
which bugs have been permitted to
step between me and the purchasing
public. Ladies and gentlemen, if
there is bug in or about that bed
stead | want to see him. 1t would
be slander-a most foul SANDER on
the character of this worthy widow
who is about to remove to the State
of Ohio"
Being invited to step down and
view the bugs for himself he made
an inspection. They were there.
They were galloping in and out and
up and down, and it was no use to
dispute the fact.
Ladies and gentlemen" said the
suctioneer, as he resumed his post,
81 found bugs | don't exactly re-
member the Latin name for them, but
they are there. And now let me talk
to you as friend. Bedbugs were
not made for a gaudy show, nor were
they made for life of ease. 1t is q
law of nature that they should in
habit bedsteads. They can no more
go out under the blrn and make a
living than a dog can become an
eagle and float through space. The
aversion among you to this insect is
founded on false principles. His
bite scarcely irritates the sleep, but
it cleanses and purifes the blood.
But for the hedbugs OF this country
we should all have boils and car
buncles. They keep down warts.
They cause moles to disappear. Give
them chance and they would re-
move corns without pain. The
great
"Fifty cents" called an old woman
who remembered that sho had a
remedy at hone.
"Fiity cents I am offered fifty
cents for a ten dollar bedstead, and
as l was going to say, the great Ma
poleon always asked FOR bed with
bugs in it. I am offered fifty cents.
and yet Cesar had his bugs. am"
"One dollar"
81 am offered one dollar, and yet
the poets of Greece immortalized the
insects before you. This widow tells
me that she has not had an ache or
pain since the first bug made his APP
pearance. How many of you have
read what Homer wrote of them ?
What was the fountain Of Mozart's
twelfth mass? And yet /"
"Hwo dollars" /"
"And yet l hear only two dollars
Do you have headache +? Are you
afflicted with giddiness? Do you
have rearing in the ears p
"Three dollars"
my friends let me go home and
get my copy of "Paradlse Lost" and
read to you one short chapter. What
did Milton-?"
"Four dollars -
"Al. I begin to see that art and
culture are rot unknown to tho audi
ence. Did Alexander the Great have
boils? Never not "a one And why 2"
"Five dollarsT T.
"I am bid five dollars. I would
like to quote one verse from a well
known Latin poet, but time presses
and this bedstead is sold for five dol
lars, cash on the nail. will now
direct your cultured attention TO that
III o.,l.o3 o,,o,,