The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-08-28
a Reporter Attempts 10 Furnish Copy at
Bouhi" His Usual Rntc oG Speed and
Gets Things Mixed.

There Is reporter at the IimGS Office who
writes with equal Tpidlty with either hand,
He is an amhideXtcr, ard n bold, bad one at
that When there is a rush Of work at the Of
flee and the devil is shouting "copper" like a
ticnd inCarnac, this useful reporter sits down
at his desk in full company front, and, with II
pencil in each hand, sings off local happen
lngs by the yard. He writes on two sheets at
once, and don't let his right hand know what
his left hand Is driving at but It's driving all
the same.
Yesterday he got little off his mental base
and attempted to write up a dog fight and Il
wedding in high life at the same time. He got
things mixed. HIS hands ran clear away with
the gray matter ia his skull, and things be
came terribly confused. THIS Is the way his
items tCIcscopcd each other
Al Grace Church, last night, the nuptlals OF
Mr.. Thomas Johnson and Miss Julla Lawrence
We're celebrated in most magnificent style a
costly floral horseshoe being directed over the
altar and when the yellow cur saw the flames
OF anger darling from the eyes OF the brndlc
tyste he opened with the impressive strains of
the wedding march As the handsome couple
walked down the aisle the excited crowd be
gan to get frantic and there were yells Of Sick
'em Bull;' at HIM now, Towser," as the
spectators became interested in the fight. The
BRIDE was elegantly attired in pure white gar
the traditional white veil and wreath of orange
blossoms had HIM by the neck, and his tongue
began to Toll out and his eyes to turn sOmer.
saultS as if in the customary black suit, white
gloves, ears cropped close to his head. He was
a disreputable-lookin dog in the beginning,
and ought to have been whipped for being so
homely. He is of good family, ana is engaged
in one of the most extensive manufacturing |
enterprises IN the West But the yellow cur
m L., I,
had now succeeded in getting death.grip on |
the throat of the big brInde, and when he ten.
derby kissed the BRIDE according to the ancient
custom, his back was covered with mud and |
his oil hind leg was terribly Chewed up.
Among the costly presents received by the
happy pair were fine grand piano from the
father of the bride, halr had been scaded from
his back and one eye seemed tohave been des-
troyed by an auger After a short bridal tour
the happy couple will settle down to one OF
the hardest fought battles the reporter has yet
witnessed, and it was difficult to tell which
dog had been punished worst The fight end
ed at exactly 4:5S, after having been bitterly
contested for an hour and a half were driven
to the residence OF the brides parents, and he
was taken to his owners home in wheobar
row. He will probably never recover, and if
he does will be totally blind Besides being
permantly lame in the left hind leg, the beau.
tltul bride received the congratulations of a
host of friends, The groom is one of our most
promising young men, and his owner breads
the possibility of losing HIM, as he fears he
can never replace HIM. The father of the
BRIDE is one Of our wealthest merchants, and
the yellow fyste llmped off with knowing
look in his eye and saucy curl in his tail, as
much as to say, "Who else wants to try me?"
The ambldeXter was summarily "tired."-
HaaSaS city JourRak