Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-07-15
Martyrs at the Ball.

tYrQ0m IN CHe Dall-rOOm. 1ne meInOuS
are various, the results the same. The
executioner is of course the of gentler
sex. Her name may be Miss Brown.
Miss Brown may be the most charming
and amiable of creatures. But, untor-
tunately, so far as you and other male
dancers are concerned, she is desper-
ately enamored of Mr.. Black. Conse-
quently, the only individual with whom
she cares TO dance is the fortunate Mr..
Black. You may see her looking at
him with radiant face, whispering into
his ear, and showing the keenest ap-
probation of everything that he says.
You may also notice that she allows
him to clasp her little more tightly
than is absolutely necessary, and that
she leans on him for support more
heavily than she is really called on TO
do. 1t is easy to perceive that she
would dance with him all night Ii it
were not for the wholesome restraining
Influences of etiquette, even though
she may not be absolutely engaged"
to him. When, however, she Is con-
strained to resign herself to your
clutches, her demeanOr undergoes q
wonderful transformation. The radi-
ance vanishes from her countenanoe,
and her manner become frigid, espes-
cially If you evince the least desire to De
friendly and confidentially converse
tional with her. She holds you at arms
length, and, probably, processes to be
weary before she has gone more than
twice round the room.s. She forgets
that with lucky Mr.. Black She Is able
to keep up from the beginning to the end
of a long waltz, but you do not, and
your humiliation is. therefore, all the
more complete. In case you should
have some excuse for not thinking that
you are regarded as bore, she listens
to what yeu have to say with adls raint
air, and receives your neatest things In
grim silence. When you fancy that
you have said something smart, she will
crush you by rousing herself, as If from
a reverie, and saying, evidently In re-
ference to the law of politeness, "Oh!I
beg your pardon, Mr.. So-and-So, be-
lieve you said something what was it?''
You reflect that she will not break her
heart if you refrain from telling her
what it was, and you are right. But
her behavior is very hard on you, for
to have to tell a joke twice over is very
much like e.explaining o pOintof wit
ticism on which you particularly pride
yourself.
Having escaped from the hands of,
Miss Brown, you may possible be hand
ed over to the tender mereies of Miss
Green, Now Miss Green prides her
self upon the strength of her character
and the power of her mind. She would
have you believe that she has soul
above the conventional twaddle of the
drawing-room and is able to talk to-
men on their pet subjects. so she will
ask your opinion of metaphysical and
philosophical works of which you uay
not even have heard the names, and
arch her eyebrows In; djsdain as you
founder about in a quagmire of diff
Guilty and indicate your own lack of
information. If you venture TO pay
her a compliment sue will frown, but
If you ask her what are her daily amuse-
ments she will smile, for she then will
be able to declare that she loves read
ing German and Greek, or tackling the
theory of evolution as pronounced by
Herbert Spencer. Under proper treat
ment she will lead you to understand
that sne is ashamed of the frivolity and
empty-headedness displayed by the
majority of her sex, and deeply feels
the stigma which is undeservedly cast
upon herself in consequence of their
misdeeds. The results of your efforts
to entertain her is, nine times out of
ten, that you are m ide to feel exceed
ingiy small.
But, perhaps, the greatest trial which
one has to endure is MISS Lackadaisieal.
She is Of sentimental turn of mind,
and thinks of little except sweethearts.
She is ready to dance through an eve
ming, almost without a break, regard
less of the aching Of her partners and
the sweat upon her partners brows.
She never dreams that she is heavy.
She certainly does her best to be amia-
BILE. You may tell her that the moon
is made of green cheese, and she will
not contradict you. Indeed, she will
smile and nod her head, as she might
be expected to do if you were retailing
gospel truth. But, while she Is ready
TO endorse everything which you have
to say, she has very little to talk about
on her own account. After supper it
is true, she may attempt to, rally, you
about your flirtations. But, there is
not mnch ''go" in her chaff, and you
have an impression that she would-be
glad if you would make love to her.
You have an idea that she could upon
very slight provocation, constitute her.
self the victim of an unrequited attach
ment. When you begin operations, so
far as she is concerned, you may feel
amiable and be full of spirits. L 1t.
somehow or other, she "dries you up"
At the end Of the first figure of the
quadrille, having exhausted the weath.
er, the common affection for dancing,
and such inspiring topics, you come to
stop and wonder what In the name of