Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1880-11-15
Way OF the World.

Frenc!, Gieaninss fropa the Home and For
eiSn Crop OF HcmOr.
The woman who dyes her hair wants to
keep it dark.
This is the season when the chestnut
worm finds itself in a hole.
Glands wanted on boys pants" is the
daily advertisement in the newspapers.
Twas ever thus from chiIdhood's S hour.
A sick man. With mustard plaster on
him said I" II should eat 4 loaf of bread
I'd be 4 live sandwich"
The small boy said to the little girl ::
"Do you wish to be my little wife 2" The
little girl, after rejecting Yes" The
small boy &" Then take off my boots"
"Give the wicked Bernhardt a wide
BERTH" cries an exchange. What for ?
She can get along with 4 narrow one.
Give the wide berth to David Davis
Our domestic we call Mary Ann.
She came from the County COvan;
But to lessen her toll
Lit the fire with Oil:
Now we miss her, and also the can.
an IriShman, on seeing very small
coffin, exclaimed. ''Is it possible that
coffin was intended for any living crea-
ture?''
The Boston Herald tells the story of an
enthusiastic veteran who, upon getting his
pension papers emitting him to 1000 ar
rcarS. remarked. rs he left the city hall,
BY George. if could meet the rebel who
shot me | would treat him.
As two friends We're talking. a donkey
began 10 bray and whecze and cough in a
distressing manner. What cold that
,lonkcy has said one OF the men. "And,
by the way. that puts me in mind-how is
your cough y:
My case is just here said citizen
to lawyer the other day - the plaintiff
that did not. Now what can yOu law
Five dollars apiece was the prompt
reply.
"MotLcr. what is an angelo" can
angel: Well an angel is 4 being that
flies But. mother, why does papa
always call my governcss an angel ?'
'.Well. exclaimed the mother, after a
moments pause, ''she's going to fly i'm
media:cly.'
a bright little boy. who had been en-
gagged in combat with another boy, was
rcproved by his aunt, who told him he
ought always to wait until the other boy
"pitclcd upon him. But il wait for
the other boy to begin, I'm afraid there
won't bc any iight."a
One of the Figaro editors, accompanied
by woman and two witnesses, went to
the Office of the Third ACCOMPLISHMENT to
register a new born child. ''who is the
father of this child:" demanded the official.
His question not being answered he turned
to the journalist and asked "Are you, sir,
x.,xi a -. 4ol1
then ," ''MulIsicur, the article is not
signed.
A darkey recently made application for
divorce from his wife. When asked on
what ground he demanded a divorce, he
explained as follows De ground of dis
occasion is sufficient enough. When
rented ten acres and worked one mule
married \ woman suitable for dc occasion.
five mules. My fnst wife is mighty
good tcn-acrc wife, but she don't suit dc
occasion oh sixty acres. | needs 4 woman
what can spread more
\ IiolStein peasant, uninstructed in mi
croscopical research and not possessing tic
requisite instruments of precision, has de-
viscd for hmselfa 4 new test for the pres
encc of tIichili;r in pork. When he killed
q pig he was careful to send a portion of
it: ham or a sausase-to his pastor, and
then waited the consequences for fourteen
days. If his pastor remained healthy,
thea he felt perfectly easy in his mind, and
well assured that his pig fulfilled the re-
quisitc condition of soundncss of food,
and he proceeded to dispose fit accord
ingly in his own family. This ingenious
method of research has not been cOnsid-
cred satisfactory by the district physician