Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-09-02
Short Stops.

| idC LHS14ou dQleS are beginning 10
wear taretans again.
A street always runs in one direction
or another; but its sidewalks.
Few people are so selfish as to keep
their opinions to themselves.
The Greeks have purchased l 400 az
tlllery horses. The tug of war will
| come soon.
The young American soprano, Miss
Marie Van Zandt, is to make her debut
in Rome this autumn.
General James Watson Webb is in
very poor bodily health, but his mind
remains clear and active.
\ correspondent wishes to know if
the Lay on Macduff' was one of
Shakspeare's earlier poems.
what makes the sea salt?" said the
teacher, and young America shouted,
''The Goldfish that are in it.
The blind man should be the most
contented man in the world, because
he can have everything he sees.
Judging from the number Of ladies
accompanying our Templar visitors,
there are not many knight-bachelOrs
in the order.
A lady who wears a white satin gown
at breakfast is one of the funny sights
which one sees at Saratoga without ex-
ira charge.
d. B. Locke, Petroleum V. Nasty"
intends to make his permanent home
III the Susquehanna Valley of Penn
sylvania
Thurlow Weed, the veteran journalist
and politician, is again in a very weak
condition, and his physicians insist upon
his keeping quiet.
George Eliot, before she was married
to Mr.. Cross, rid herself of every scrap
of clothing and ornament that belonged
to her life with her first husband
Lewes.
The drum is to be abolished from
use in the French army. For Il long
time it has been a snare and thing of
hollow pretensiOns.
Prof Spencer F. Baird, of the Smith
son an Institution in Washington, has
labOred there for thirty years. His chief
work has been in regard to fish and birds.
Only fifteen comets have been dis
covered In this country, and Professor
Swift Rochester, n. Y, has taxed in six
of them since 1862, one III each of the
past four years.
During the past fifty years thirty nine
men have been executed III New York
city. Among the list are eight negroes
The only Italian was Balbo, the wife
murderer.
AS Il result ofthe recent discoveries
in Northeastern New York, the most
frequent question in the metropolis
now is: Glow does your gold mine
pan Out?"
A little girl, defining bearing false
witness against your neighbor" said cit
was when nobody did nothing, and
somebody went and told of it."
A scientific man will study all day
over poor little worms work, when
he might get at the hole thing i'll a nut
shell by eating a few chincapins
Ex-Governor Rice, of Massachusetts,
has accepted the Honorary Chancel-
lorship Of Union College, at Schenec-
tady, n. Y, and will deliver the next
commencement Grafton.
Camille Flammarion, the French
astronomer, has been making a bal
loon journey with his wife. They started
from Paris, travelled all night, and came
down near Rheims.
A little girl in one of our public
schools the other day had occasion to
parse the word "angel" Coming to
the gender she stopped dismayed, and
asked her teacher if there are any
men angels"
Cutting Major Morningcall: "Now
my dear Miss Lancytt, whilst [ enjoy a
little Madeira, favor me with your latest
song" Miss Lancytt: Certainly,
Major; my last is Drink, puppy,
drink, you know"
Bishop Gilmor, Of Cleveland, has
commanded his Pensioners not to pat
rOnize a picnic to be given by the Irish
Nationalist for the benefit of the Irish
Land League.
The London correspondent of the
ManchesterGuaroi0B states that definite
arrangements have been made fer the
first appearance of Edwin Booth at the
Princess Theater in October.
An Illinois chap, in describing gale
of wind, says: "a white dog, while at
tempting to weather the gale, was
caught with his mouth open, and turn
ed completely inside out"
Adiutant Ito newly-ioin recruit, who
presents HIMSELF: ''Well, my man,
what's your business ?" Recruit: "Shure
now, if / knew what [ wanted, should |
be afther asking you, sorr?"
When a young farmers wife made
her first boys pants precisely as simple
before as behind, the father exclaimed:
Goodness, he won't know whether he
is going to school or coming home"
Physician Ito government clerk -
"Well, what do you complain OFF" G.
C.-Sleeplessness, doctor" Physician
cat what time do you go to bed ?"
G. Cob, don't mean at night; but
during Office hours"
A youth named Antonio Valdes, who
is at present driving a grocery wagon
in Port Chester, Westchester county,
n. Y, is said to be the heir of a Cuban
estate valued at 100000.
Jenny Lind, who left the stage in
1860, is still hale and hearty. As
Madame Goldsmith she is a healthy
looking and somewhat stout lady, with
white hair. She will be 50 years old in
October.
1t is said that the deepest gorge in
the world has been discovered in Col
orado. We always had the impress
II ~.