Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1880-09-16
Mrs. McWllliams and Lightning.
I.AMsrk Twain" In the AuAntic MonthlY.

| the fear OF lightning is one of the most
| distressing intirmities human being can
be affl cled with. 1t is mostly confined TO
women; but now and then you find il In
little dog, and sometimes in a man 1t
is a particularly distressing infirmity for
the reason that il takes the sand out of
person to an extent which no other fear
can, and ii can't be reasoned with. neither
can il be shamed out of person. A
woman who could face the very devil
hlmselt-or mouse--loses her grip and
goes all to pieces in front of fash of
| lightning. Her fright is something pitt
! full to see
Well, as WAS telling you, woke up,
with that smothered and unbeatable cry
of Mortimer MortimerW wsiling in
my ears; and as soon as l could scrape
my faculties together, reached over In
] the dark and then said:
"Evangeline. is that you callings What
is the mstters Where are youw
| 'Shut up in the boot closet You ought
| to be ashamed 10 lie there and sleep
| so, and such an awful storm going on"
"Why, how can one oe ashamed when
| he is ssleepy 1t is unreasonable; man
can't be ashamed when he is asleep,
| Evsngeline."
very well you never try"
caught the sound of mufiled sobs.
That eound smote dead the sharp speech
| that was ON my lips, and changed it to-
I'm sorry, my dear-1'm truly sorry.
never meant to act so. Come back and
"Mortinier" -
"Hesvensl What is the matter, my
| loves" .W.. e--
do you mean to say you are in that
bed YETI" 7
"Why, Of course"
Come out of ii Instantly. l should
| think YOU would take some little care OF
your life for my sake and the children's.
| II not for your own"
| "But my love -"
"Don't talk to me, Mortimer. You
know there Is no place 80 dangerous as a
| bed In such storm as this-all the books
say that; yet there you would lie, and de.
liberately throw away your life-for
| goodness knows what, unless for the sake
| of arguing and arguing, and" ~
"But, confound It. Evsngeline, I'm not
| in the bed. now. Inn eratF
Sentence interrupted by sudden glare
| Of lightning, followed by terrified little
scream from Mrs. HcWill,ams and tire.
mendous blast of thunder
| "There! You see the result. Oh, Nor
timer, how can you be SO protligate as to
swear at such time as this?"
II didn't swear, And that wasn't re,
| suit OF it, any way. 1t would have come,
/ Just the same, if hadn't said a word and
you know very we'll, Evange.ine-at least
you ought tc know--that when the air is
charged with electricity" .-
"Un, yes now argue il and argue it
and argue it. don't see how you can
act so, when you know there is not a
lightning rod on the place, and your poor
wife and children are absolutely at the
mercy of Providence. What are you
doing P-lighting a match at such time
as thlsi Are you stark madf EEE
"Hang 1t, woman, where's the harm
TIE place is as dark as the inside of an
infdel, and"
"Put it out! put It out instantly You
know there is nothing attracts lightning
like light. (Fzt!--crashl boom-bo.
loom boom boomD Oh, just hear I'll
| Now you see what you've done!"
mo, don't see what I've done. a
match may attract lightning, for all
know, but 1t don't cause lghtning-Pll
60 odds on that. And it didn't attract
worth cent this time; for If that shot
was leveled at my match, 1t was blessed
poor marksmsnship-about an average OF
none out of possible million, should
say. Why, at Dollymount, such marks.
manship as that"
"For shame, Mortimer! Here we are
standing right in the very presence of
death, and yet in 80 solemn a moment
you are capable of using such language
| hat hau i'm m
timerY s-.r
] "Wells"
I'D you say your prayers to-nightw
"I-l-meant to, but got to trying to
cipher out how much twelve times thir
teen is and"
| (Fztl - boom berrom boom humble
umble bang smashD
"Oh, we are lost beyond all helpl How
could you neglect such a thing at such q
| time rs thisf"
"But Il wasn't such time as this
| There wasn't cloud in the sky How
could know there was gong TO be all
/ this rumpus and pow-wow about little
slip like thatr And | DOM think It's
/ Just fair for you to make so much out of
it, any way, seeing it happens so seldom !;
! | haven't missed before since | brought
on that earthquake, four years ego"
Mortimer How you talk Have you
/ forgotten the yellow teverY'
! "My dear, you are always throwing
! up the yellow fever TO me; and | think
! it Is perfectly unreasonable. You can't
even SEND a telegraph message as Tar as
Memphis without relays. 80 how is q
1 little devotional slip OF mine going to
carry so far? pll stand the esrtbq aske
! because 1t was IN the nelghborhood,f but
! I'll he han ed if Pm going tn ne re