davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
How Oysters Are Born.

Our bivalve, however, does not
spawn after the manner OF mollusks
generally. ly.--1tis, in its own way,
vivapJrUus. IL does not emit eggs,
but at the proper time sends forth
it's young alive. The eggs are dis
lodged from tho ovaries aud com-
miited to the nursing care Of the
gill and mantle At first each egg
seems to DO enclosed in Il capsule
IL is OF yellowish color, but as in.
cubatiun and development progross-
es the color changes, first to gay,
then To brown, afterwards to a vio.
let This is a sigu that the time of
eviction il at band, for nature now
issues her writ TO that effect. And
wondetlnl little beings they are when
the wit arrives tD vacate the home-
stead, for whole troops Of them
can go gracefully aud without jost-
ling through the maziest evolutions
in that iiniest spbere--a drop of
water. As cited by +. w. Fellowes,
in the the dmerirm Nt,pra js,, Gays
VI Devaine Nothing is more curl
Gus than to see, under the micro
scope, these little mollusks travel in
Il drop OF water in vast numbers,
mutually avoiding one another.
crossing each others track in every
direction with wonderful rapid ity,
never touching and never meeting.
Tho parent oyster has, indeed, a
prodigious family to turn out upon
the world. But when this time does
come, though winter be uear, .her
actions are summary, and the wee
BARNS are every one ordered from
home They are spit forth, or
elected from the shell-FIlied with
water the valves are sulieuly -nap-
ped together. Every snap enits
snall whitish cloud. Though Il lit.
Ito OF the milkey fund be in 1t, this
whltish cloud is composed chiefly Of
the tiny fry for, Individually, they
are almost Invisible Indeed. who
shall count the oysters offspring
Science, by her own methods, has
made the computation, aud SO she
gives us the astounding assurance
that single oyster, during ono
spawning season, emits two million
eubiyos
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

The mere lapse OF years is not life
To eat and drink anl sleep-to be
exposed to darkness aud to light
to pace around in the mill of habit
and turn thought Into an implement
of trade-this is not life, la all this
but poor fraction Of the c)nsciea =
ito usness of humanity is awakened,
and the sanctities still slumber
which make it worth while to be.
Knowledge, truth, love, beauty.
goodness faith alone eau give vitality
to the mechanism of existence. Tue
laugh of nirth that vibratss through
the art-the tears that freshen
the dry wastes within -themusic that
briggs childhood baek-the prayer
that calls the future nsar-tbe hard
ship which forces us to struggle
the anxiety which ends in trust are
the true nourishment Of our natural
being.-Jdmes Mar,ineau.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
Railroad GIids to Heaven.

The Catholic Rerie,o prints the
following "R,ilroad guide for trav-
elers on their way to heaven -
l. No return ticket or excursion
trains.
2. Infants in the arms Of their hos
ly mother, the Catholic Church, free
3. No desdbeads or half-fares al
lowed.
4. Travellers are particularly re-
quested to bring nothing with them
but good works, otherwise they may
miss the train or incur serious trou.
ble ou the frontier.
5. Clergy as we'll as others carry
ing money ruu great risks-uo in-
surance taken on such luggage.
g. Passengers are received ut all
points on this route.
Z. No runners, gamblers. drunk :
ards, thieves or scalp tickets permit
ted.
:. Travellers should be beware of
counterfeit tickets issued by unau-
thorIzed agents, and also the pick
pockets, pride and boastiug.
8. Baggage should DO eximinsl
from tune to time for fear Of rust or
moths.
10. Parents are requested to keep
al eye on their children. as they may
be spirited away by bad people and
fallen angels thoy are also 70 li3st-
ell not to expose their chlllrel to
danger on tho platform.
IL. Young people should avoid
the dangerous custum of looking out
Of the widows aul alniring the
scenery, as dust anl poison are in
the air.
II No lay.ovo tickets issued.
Tickets non-transferib 10.
l3. For further information apply
at the heal ice, an | 10 It fully IN,
derstood that faith, AMI whon p Dssi-
bio good works, are necessary accom-.
plishments for all thJso VINO desire
to travel this way.
To all Of which the Chris,ila at
Work adds this comment
'In order to aceonu) lite all,
several special trains will rin, ,knp wa
as the Baptist train, Methodist. Pros-
byteriau, EpiSc,pll. lItlorlu. Ra-
formed, Dltch aid other trains the
passport OF flitI gppl on all on
the Baptist train pact OF the trip IL
by water, but tho destination m Il
conditions OF travel are the sane
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
My First Cigar.

Twas just behind the woodshed.
One glorious SUN NOR day.
Far Ger the hills the snk;u, sun
Pursued its westward way.
And in my lone seclusion,
Safely removed sfar
From all efearth's confusion,
lsmoked my first cigar.
Ah, bright the boyish fGncies
Wrapped iu the wreathes Of blue
Ny eyes grew dim, my bead was light,
The wooishei AROUND me few.
Dark night closed in and around me,
Rayeess without q star,
Grim death 7 thought had found me,
And spoiled my first cigar.
Alb, pallid was my noble trow.
The waning night vas late,
Ny startled mother cried In fear,
my child what have you ate 2"
heard my fathers smstberei laugh,
II seemed so strange and far;
knew he knew. | knew he knew
I'd smoked my first cigar.
-Burlin0ion Hauk,u
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

A woman asked New York edi.
tor "whether or not women in any
age have invented anything Of conse
Quoace,' and the editor treats it as
a conundrum aud gives it up. lie
must forget that. according to the
Bible, she invented Sic with a big
Sand that is Of considerable con-
sequence. II has given hundreds of
thousands OF preachers employment.
She also invented the fashion OF sit
ting up With q young man on sun.
day nights--also of great importance
to the youth Of our land.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
Daniel Webster once said

Daniel Webster once said "The
wild flower will bloom in beauty ou
the field of battle, aud above the
crushed skeleton the destroying
angel Of the pestilence will retire
when bis errand is done--the bar
renness of famine will ceaso at last
the cloud will be prodigsl of his
boarded rain but for luoral deso!a-
tlou there is no revival of spring-
let impudence, Integrity aud cor
ruption triumph over honesty and
intellect, and our liberties and
strength will depart forever"
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
Stopping a Hole.

Our folks have got a Biddy Of the
various klud. She is u qnear duck
aud good uatured AS u basket of
chips. Well, one Sunday, as We
were sitting down to dinner, we
found the old eat with three young
grimalkins largely engaged in the
uursury business under tue table.
Blddy, said we. take this cat and
her kittens aud put them where we
shall never SEQ them more, hint OF
dreadful import, but not UNDER
stood.
Faith, sir, that I will,
The feline family we're removed
and We proceeded to dine. BY aud
by Blldy reenterei with m impres
sion on her face that seemed to say,
'be dad, | guess they are in safe
keeping now
well, Biddy, what have you done
with tue old cat aud her kittens 2
'Bo gor, sir, they're safe enough.
sure ye mind the wood house
forniust the stable Well, / pat
them all in there, and fastened the
doors and winlies. Then. seeing
there was II hole beside where they
might get out, | stopped that up,
too, anl 81, you see, they won t
trouble you any more.
We were satisfied, and wo ate our
dinners in peace afterwards walked
into the yard, when we saw the
'dint!cai' old cat aud her kittens at
liberty. Calling Biddy, we said
Did you say you fastened the
kittens in the wood house =
Faith. an 4 did, sir.
And stopped the hole E
Yes, sir.
Well, she had, that's fact. but
what do yoa suppose she stopped
the hole with Sle stuck q section
of stove pipe in it We thought We
would split. Aud there sat one of
the little imps at tue month Of it
just as it crawled ont, licking it's
paw aud looking as saucy as sthun-
der.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
Van Veltman's Dream.
4 coxsrocxER UP AMONG THE PLANETS

4 coksrocKRR UP AMONG THE PLANETS
"I'M worried about dream 1 hat
last night" said veltman yesterday
ae he seated himself in O bar-room
chair, after swallowing bis matutiua
cocktail. 81 never had srch 9
dream. Everything seemed plain
and reasonable enough in the dream
but now cant separate the sense
from the nonsense.
Receiving some encouragement,
Mr.. Veltman proceeded to relate his
vision as follows
81 dreamed 1 died and went to
Heaven, or to what should have bee o
somewhere in that neighborhood,
got there all alone-away up among
the stars, which seemed q mighty
distance apart. All was cold aud
strange aud uncomfortable. Pre-
sently ] saw the new moon, which
looked somewhat home-like and
familiar, 30 l went over to it aud
seated myself in curve Of it, where
there was q comfortable resting
place for my back, thinking I'd take
things easy and look a6 out for a
time.
II had hardly got comfortably fix
ed before rather brisk. looking per-
sonage with paper cap on his head,
wearing leather apron aud carry,
ing monkey wrench in his hand,
appeared before me.
& Just arrived z he said briskly.
"'Just this minute landed, said I
swell. said the man, who looked
like an engineer, or some kind of
Snachinist, this is no place for
idlers you must 60 to work.
TO work = said I feebly. 'Am
I not in Heaven =
/" Heaven ! | don't know what
your ideas Of Heaven may be, bat I
can tell you that you are ia the great
Workshop OF the Universe. No
idlars hsgs. I csn assure you
r4-x lhonght bad come here
to teel e6auG6ored I.
~ x0o &oro some 20 the
VIZ Ie 4 'are LOOKING f,r
-! xeg - hess Are The axlss y
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
H q q t T. ".
Other Fellows Think So Too.

THERE'S just.ope thing q man can have
Ia ell this world Of woe and strife,
That makes the business not too bal,
And that sne tbias's an easy wife.
Dost fancy that love my girl
For rosy cheeks or raven hair
She holds my heart because she ltnghs--
Because she laughs, and doesn't care.
pet rny boots just we're Il suits,
Asd and then where { PIT them, too :
That 10 thing. you must allow.
A chap oan very seldom do.
leave my papers on my desk
She never dusts them In heap,
Or takes To light the kitchen stovo
The very one want TO keep.
On winter nights my cory dame
win warm her toes before the fire
She never scolds about the lamp,
Or wants the wick tribe higher.
On Sunday she Is not so due
But what her rufiles can hug:
light my pipe just where please,
And spill the ashes on the rug.
Ths bed is never filed with ''shams'-
A thing some women vilely plan
To worry servants half to death.
And spoil the temper Of man.
She lets me sleep to any hour,
Nor raises any horrid din
Ifh Just happens, now and then,
To bsquite late VIII en- come in.
I tell you Jack, ifyou would we'd.
Just get girl who let's things run
She'll keep her temper like lamb,
And help you on to lots Of fun.
Don't look for money. style or show,
Or blushiog beauty, ripe aud rare
Just take the one who laughs at fate
Who laughs. aud shows she dossn't care.
Yeu think, perhaps, our household ways
Are just perchsnce n little mixed
oh. when they get too horrid bad.
We stir about aud ge, things 6sel.
What coHpensstioa has man
Who earns bis breai by sweat Of brow
II home is made battle .ground,
Aud life one losg, eternal row.
--Harper's Magdsine for September.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
Re,iAl le Crop Reports.

The truth crop is fair to average
bnt so mixed with slcch hlriuo ssltl-
mentality ~ to b1 ueSt t. worthless
The hop Und mIlt crops in lil1i |
fern, arc large, but fears are OK.
pressed that there will b. famine
before tho election Is over. Grain
dealers, however, still keep their
spirits, aud the fears may be useless.
The newspaper clip will be tre-
menlous between this aud Novem-
Der, aud there will be more scissors
than wheat ground, tae knowing ones
say.
The lawyer harvest will be largely
swellel by graluates from tue col .
leges, and fully ~ to the demand.
Prime lots, however, will continue
to command good prices. MIlllius
to poor will be neglected more than
ever.
The bea. yield will be fully up to
tho average, This has long been
locked on as a safe crop,
The chickens crop is full one.
Indian corn COR corued ludiau)
promises well. Several loads Of
WHISKY have been seat 10 the fron-
tier.
Hair raising on the plains will also
be quite lively.
Tue BARRIERS crops are rather
short, owing to the recent extrelae
heat.
Iron is tho f.remost among the
staples. Staples are generally made
of it.
The acreage of tears sown ia small
boys trousers has Increased wonder
fully siuce the beginning of vacation
Wild oats are sown broadcast
There appears no falling off ia this
branch OF farming.
Rye is running down fast.
Glover is plentiful on the beaches,
where people are living in it.
The young ladies' there are study
ing husbandry.
The crop Of grievances are as
as ever.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

Here, james, take these two
cakes aud give the smaller one to
your little brother"
james examines the cakes careful.
ly, appears undecided, aud finally
takes heroic bite out of one of
them, which be passed over to his
brother with the remark A..
"There Tommy, I've made you a
smaller one-they were the same
size"
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
have left all my fnrtnna

II have lett all my fortune to my
wife, says the philosophic spouse
of a Xantippe, ION condition that
she shall marry again"
what is that for 7"
~ wish to be sure that th ere
will be some one to regret my death
when l am gone"
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
Benefits OF SinlinD

Singing IL one Of the most health.
frl exercises in which men, women
aud children can engage. The med
ical Wochenschrift. of st. Peters
burg, has an article based upon ex-
haustiye researches made 10y Prof
Monassein during the autum of 1875
when examining 222 singers ringing
between the ages of niue aud Fifty
three. He laid chief weight upon
the growth aud absolute circumfcr
ence OF the chest, upon the compa.
rative relation of the latter 20 the
tallness Of the subject, aud upon tue
pneuuatometrie aud spiroumetric
condition Of the singer. IL apears
to he an ascertsined fact from DR..
.Ronassein's experiments that the
relative, and even tho absolute, cir
cumference of the chest is greater
among singers than among those
who do not sing, aud that it iueress,
es with the growth and age Of tho
singer The Professor even says
that singing may be placed physical
ly as the antithesis Of drinking spir-
ituous liquors.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

At Logansyille, Wis, Henry
Reatzmann married the girl whom
Otto wanted. Otto went to the wed
ding with knife. aud when the Ger
emony was over he stabbed the
bridegroom three times.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

A new boarder split SONS milk on
his coat aud was fearful lest it would
leave grs SO spot. An old stager
assure him that there was not the
slightest danger, bat he might look
for a chalk mark whea it dried.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

A Boston happy thought is to
turn the aiannds noe OF the apple
crop to sssoust kx the poor people
Of that city. Bsg~ at '.rm-
ers who wiN c,atsib'
roads i've IRE N-r'
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

An exchange says: "rne types
last week made Us say that "tbe
showers were not sufficient to meet
the wants OF the milkmcn," etc., ie-
stead Of ".niIlmeu."
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

A man ~ Augusta Ga, on receiv.
ing u doetsr's bill for rnsdiciae aud
visits wrote that he wa,li p,y ~r
ls .uslicino w return the visits.
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

There was young lady named
Mand. who recently came fro
aoroal; her : "a and har
~'hich astob' III oirI
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

A wealthy man OF Dstroit, whose
wife aud children we're oa tie stesm
er Marine City whcu it barns Ia
scspea With their
% worth nf
M
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30
A Texas Editors Diary.

tho foll5 sios figures from \ stltisL,i
cal memoranjum OF his lifs in anI
wer to the cjnullrln iu last IN Dutls
Printer'S- Aaceriiser
Been asked to drink 1852
Drank 1862
Requested to retract 40
Did retract 4l6
Invited to parties and recep-
tions by parties nshlng
for puts 1888
Took the hint 33
Didn't take the hint $500
Threatened to be whipped l70
b ,eu whipped Y
Whipped the other fellow /
Dldu't come to time l66
Been promised whiskey, gin.
etc, If We would go after
them 500
Been after them $50
Been asked what's tho scvs 10000
/ old %
Didn't know 100000
Lied about it 99,977
Been to church 2
Changed politics 81
Expect to ch ,nyc still 50
Gave TO hirlty 50)
Gave for terrier dog $500
Cash on hand LOO
The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-09-30

Physic, says an old surgeon. is the
ale Of amusing the patient VIII lie ma
ture cures the disease.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-11-11
Catching 3 Counterfsiter.

There ID an inventive genius in North
Davenpors who has spent 9 competence in
trying to capture perpetual motion and a
fortune By an idea purely original
Attached to q stable on his prem
ises Is work shop. in which there
is a forge and working impli>
ments. The party in order to avoid the
jokes and taUnts of his friends, who have
tried time after time to persuade him to
give up his idea. does most of the work on
bis machine during the wee sma' hours of
the night. Now, police patrolmau whose
beat takes in the inventors neigbbor-
hood, noticing the glimmer of the furnace
OF the shop late in the night, took the no.
ton that the manufacture of counterfeit
coin was the job on hand in that little
tight building-and lay near the place
peeping in almost the whole Of two nights,
and froze almost to death, too; bur he was
unable TO arrive at any conclusion
concerning the operations there, though
be felt pretty sure that the man was
hammering dies. It was a big thing
so, instead of laying the matter before
the chief, he quietly wrote to detective
agency in Chicago-aBd in less than two
dsys al experienced detective arrives to
assist him in capturing the counterfeiters.
The officer and detective spent a whole
night about that little shop, and when the
workman began his operations near mid.
night, they peered at him from ali sides of
it-and were as much perpiexed when he
went away before daylight as before they
saw him at all. But the next day they
made cIandestine visit to the shop
the tools and strange appar- |
etrs Oh the floor. Then they asked a |
of the man, what it Eas all for
what sort of q midnight work was this that
vas going on in that house, And the |
neighbor told them. Whereat the detec4 |
tive gave the officer piece of his mind
and the officer told him to keep still and |
le would pay all expenses. The detective
ost nothing but his time-but be didn't
Keep his word.-Dav. Dem,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-11-11
Worlds Gathering of Metnodists.

An ecumenical conference of the Meth.
odist Episcopal church aud its branches
will meet in London 10 September, 1881.
This conference has been talked of 10 the
churches of the denomination for several
years. but no decided action was taken
until last May, when at the general con-
terence OF the Methodist Episcopal church
ia Cincinnati, a plan was drawn up and
agreed to by tho representatives of the
Episcopal church aud the different
branches In the United States. The de-
nomination numbers over 100000 of
actual com municsnts and Methodist
population OF about $4,000, 600.
The conference will meet 10 City Road
chapel. which gas the frst church of the
Methodists. Fer many years John Wes-
ley preached there. and his pulpit is still
shown to Methodist travellers who visit
England's capital The delegation from
this country will be composed of the
strongest men in the church, and will
most probably be headed by Bishop
Simpson, Of the Methodist Episcopal
church. Great interest in the conference
is manifested by all the branches of the
church, aud it promises to be the most
important assembly of Methodists that
ever took place.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-11-11
NERVOUS DEBILITY.

VITAL WEAKNESS OR DEPRESSION q
weak exhausted feeling, no energy or cour-
age; the result Of MENTAL oVER-WoRK,
lNDISCRETI0NS OR ExCESsEs, or some
drain upon the system. is always cured by
HUMPHREYS HOMEOPATHIC SPECIFIC No.
%. Ii tones up and invigoratcs the sys-
TEN, dispels the gloom and dependency
imparts strength and energy, stops the
cess by thousands. Sold BY dealers,
Price, 90 per single vial. or $500 per
package of five walls and $500 vial of pow
der. Sent by mail on receipt of price.
Address HUMPHREYS HOMEOPATHIC Me.
DICINE COMPANY 109 Fulton Street. n. Y.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-11-11

| The great excursion party of the year
! left this city last evening foF W esteru
| Iowa, Nebraska and Dakota OF course
all wore land exoursionists, Selling the OF.
| portunity to go west and inspect lands al
less than half fare for travelling When
the train arrived from the east, there
were several. hundred Illinoisians on board
and two hundred and FIFTY Iowaos were
waiting at the Perry street depot TO JOIN
them. And the two hundred had more
than two hundred friends to see them off
and. altogether, there was great crowd
in the depot and on the platform. never
needing the rain. but all intent on either
wetting off or seeing others off.
When the train moved it comprised
thirteen cars, and every passenger coach
crowded. And it was expected that IS mors
persons would join the party at Walcott
and Wilton. Fully eight hundred excur-
sionists we're aboard that train when it
rolled away from the Perry street station
which il didn't do until nearly o'clock.
We notice that the board of trade at
Omaha has made arrangements to give
the excursionists a reception. 1t was
expected that 500 to 800 would arrive on
the G., B. & c.. and more than 1000 Oh
the O., r. l. & P. The board of trade at
Lincoln also made preparations to give the
excursIonists good greeting, expecting not
less than 5000 strangers in the town from
Wednesday to Saturday. The board
requests the citizens ito turn themselves
loose and entertain the excursiouists-
meet them at tbs depot With bands and
carriages, and escort them through the
city" Evidently the cxoursionists will
have good time upon their entrance in
Nebraska, Oar, Dem. 10Th
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-11-11
ing year:
The Rodrzn Kites.

The Rodman Rife met at 'their armory
on Wednesday evening Nov. 10th. for
the purpose of electing officers for the
ensuing year, for the civil organization.
In the absence of the secretary, Mr.
Ecker acted as secretary pro tenn
The application Of G. G. Morgan for
membership was received and filed,
- The reports of officers went over for
one week, and after some minor business
the election Of the officers was held and
the following elected unanimously
President-Harry. Abel.
Vice President-J. Ell. Kennaird, J, 8,
Dart.
Secretary. K Cooke.
Treasurer-E, B. McKown,
Directors-Harry Abel, ex-ofhcio, Z.
Fl, Bowman. James Johnston, G., e.
Barth, r. M. Sweeney.