St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-10-22
Squibs.

The time is coming around again
when a man cannot open his window to
shoot at passing friend without either
removing or upsetting half dozen flow
er pots.
At printers festival lately the fol-
lowing toast was offered "Woman
Second only to the press in the dissem-
mination of news" The ladies are yet
undecided whether to regard this as a
compliment or otherwise.
A guest at a fashionable hotel took
his seat at the dinner table, but no one
appearing to wait upon him he remark
ed, ''Have they any walters in this ho-
tel ~ eyes," responded wag on the
opposite side of the table "the board
ers are the walters"
The first hat of new fashion for la
dies is not the result of any particular
design. One is finished plain and then
sat down upon by the head milliner.
Whatever shape it may take under
pressure is adopted as the style and be-
comes the pattern for others.
,Oilymargarine is sold by the grocer,
who tells you it is just from the COW.
And so it is; but the COW is dead and
her fat was used to make it. Boston
Post.
Rev. DR.. Hall said every blade of
grass was a sermon. The next day he
was amusing himself clipping his lawn,
when parisbioner said "That's right
doctor. Cut your sermons short"
'Teach your boy to think for him
self!' exclaims Bob Ingersol. Don't
you do it, bub. The minute you differ
with the old man he'll boot-jack you.-
detroit Free Press.
One Of our wholesale dry goods hous-
es has a new clerk, whose father from
the country went in to see him the 9TH
er day, and was surprised to learn that
all the statesmen had nickDames. He
asked the f1oor-walker why his son was
called Jury" "Oh," was the reply,
he is always sitting on cases.nl[ New
York Herald.
The Baptist Weekly says: Some
church choirs can make more noise
than music. Lately in one of the Ithaca
churches, after an opening piece of this
sort, the minister opened the Bible and
began reading in Acts xxi, "And after
the uproar had ceased"
Father: Charley see no improve
ment in your marks" Charley eyes,
, papa /; it is high time you had a serious
talk with the teacher, OF else he'll keep
on that way forever" suloo.i
A certain English General, being at
the point of death, opened his eyes, and
{ seeing consultation of four physicians,
t who were standing close by his bed
side, family exclaimed, "Gentlemen, il
= you fire by platoons its all over witt
= me-" and instantly expired.
: The Roman Catholic bishop of B.
i is most energetic cleric. He received
!, the other day the confession of a littl,
d boy. AT the close said his right rever
s ence: "Well, have you anything NOR,
to tell me 2" mo-" said the lad depre
Il ciatingly, "but I'll have moro mex
o time ~
l. sis your program full, Miss Beetle
d crusher 2" asked young man of west
p ern damsel who had just struggled ou
of the refreshment-room with disau
y pointment in her eve and an "order q
d dances" in her hand. program full 1
= said the daughter of the Setting SUI
d "Waal, guess not l haint had notl
ing but piece of cake and an ICE
cream, an that don't go far toward fill
II ing my program, 1 can tell you."-
N Boston Commercial Bulletin.
J. One Sunday night we were sittiu
Il out in the moonlight, unusually silel
IN almost sad. Suddenly some one
poetic-looking man with gentle, Low
ly face-said in low tone, ''Did yc
ever think of the beautiful lesson Il
H. stars teach usq" We gave vague. a
o. preciative murmur, but some soulle
- clod said, "No; what is q" "How
~ wink" he answered, with sad, swe
to voice.