The weekly miner., 1880-04-13
INTERNATIONAL.

1t will soon be fashionable for newspapers
to say Of man who dies ''He solved the
fifteen puzzle"
A Maine lady has d baby thirteen months
old that weighs seventy-tve pounds. 'This
is my boom," she says, proudly.
Chicago has 2l3 churches and 5000 saloons.
The churches are opened twice week, the
saloons are opened seven days in the week,
and seven nights i'll the week are brilliantly
lighted and warmed.
'|Ah me-" said a pious old lady, ''our min
lister was powerful preacher; for the short
time he ministered the word of God among
us he banged the in'ards out Of five bibles.''
s'What's the difference" asked the teacher
in arithmetic, between one yard and two
yards ?" ga fence!" said Tommy Beaes
Then Tommy sat on the ruler fourteen times.
All Europe is arming anl watching and
waiting. Scarcely monarch is happy, or
devotng his time and energies to the pursuits
of peace and the happiness Of his subjects.
The Chinese mission schools of San Fran
cisco haye enrolled $500 pupils, with an
average attendance of LOO. Can Denis
kearneys crowd show as good record.
Edward Barnes Green Island, n. Y; old
gun to clean: ranIrod through the roof closely
passed a lady; Barnes loss, one ramrod and
effectual than old horse pistols in amputating
fingers.
'.No, palsoll, III probly never Git courage to
jne de church. When poor darky's spirit
ual wiser takes him down in de rbber and
says, Il now capsze thee. an den ducks him
under, it's time dat darkey looks after hisself
You don't play none Of them games on me,
old man."
The season foG greens is coming, ha, ha.
With SaSSes and vegetable truck;
the festive cucumber will bid us ta-ta
And to his spring work will buck
The place summer mischief ist lief to Oh haien, t..
Riding his time the war paint to don
To scken the muskmelon patch.
oil city Derrick.
Ajudge in Chicago has decided that man
must be f.eeholder to be competent to serve
| on jury, and there is panic among the
professionals The staid citizens, however,
are consratulating themselves that, in case
the higher court sustains the decision, more
substantial justice in the courts may hereafter
be secured.
1t is said that the ''electric middlngs puri-
fer invented by two Yale students is an
entire success, so tlv as the tests applied ind-
cate. One of the inventors is now in Mime
sofa arranging to introduce the machine into
one OF the largest Touring mills in that state.
These days no ore is safe from the charge
Sunday-a thing unusual--and upon being
asked his opinion Of the clergyman, said:
'Oh, his sermon WAS very good but tha.
prayer, beginning with Our Father think
he stole entire. | know | have heard some
thing somewhere that it was strangely like
The y roads postmaster, Petroleum V.
Nasty, is ia luck. He has sold the ''Widow
Bedott" 10 J. II. Havelly, it is said, for the
round sum of $4,000, IL is a handsomer
pile OF money than is usually realized out of
widow. Locke it up. Petroleum, and pro-
ceed 10 write another US good.
According to the last census there are ole
hundred and ninety-tour individuals in France
over hundred years old. There are five
bachelors, three mari cd men, forty widowers,
twenty-five old maids. ten married women,
and one hund!ed and fourteen widows. If
these figures prove ANY Thing 1t must be that
widowhood is 60 IGuc',e to longevity.