The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-11-24
PITH AND POINT.

AND now Lady ItoulVa lB stuu W po
myth--a bare falsehood, as it were.
Actors should be watched closel y ON
election day. They are professional re-
peaters.
SOME one inquiries "Where have all
the ladies belts gomez" Gone to waist
long ago.
Ii mule had rs many legs as cock
roach this country wouldn't be so thickly
populated.
The bobtailed horse spends his whole
existence in lamenting his lack OF ter
minal facilities.
A ooMposrroR who cannot agree with
his wife says he must have taken her
out OF the wrong font.
Why is the discovery of the North pole
like an Illicit whisky manufactory? BE-
cause it's secret still.
IT requires but n short time for q
young lady out shopping to learn all the
countersigns of the dry-goods trade.
al cANNor think" says Dick,
"WhGt makes my ankles grow 40 thick
"You do not recolect,n sayS Harry,
I" How great calf they have to carry"
The Enc SAYS it was n Bloomington
man who hit the nail on the head, but
he mourued the loss of thumb by the
transaction.
FRoM Adam they took ribbone to
make fair woman. Fair woman has
been made up with ribbon ever since
Bloomington Eye.
PHYSICIANS now say that the telephone
is injurious to the ear. We presume
it's the strain of listening and hearing
nothing that does the harm.
One of the first acquisitions received
from newly-Nppointed railway station
agent was "Send me gallon OF red
oil for the danger lanterns" :"
In Texas there is township called
Gin, and in it town called Brandy, and
the name Of the postoilice lis Rummy.
No State could ask for anything better.
A VERY disagreeable old gentleman
dies. A nephew, charged with the duty
Of preparing his epitaph, suggests
deeply regretted by all who never
knew him."
CAN'T that lovely critter, John % said
Jerusha, ms she stopped opposite the
leopurd's cage. "Waal, yes" said
John, "but then he's dreilully heckied,
amt he?
81 THINK, dear, the dew has COM
menced falling" he said in his softest
accents. "Yes," she yawned, 'Ive
been hoping to hear adieu for some time.
He didn't call the next evening.
The Whitehall Times says the fish in
Lake Champlain have been 80 long with
ont water that when it began to rain, for
the first time i'll six weeks, they were
seen running about with umbrellas over
their heads.
A YOUNG woman in Denver flung her
self into cistern, but she was tished
out. A local paragrapher advised her
as follow: "Cis turn from your evil
ways" But he won't joke that way
when it comes cistcm.
A POET asks "When I am dead and
lowly laid. And clods fall heavy
from the spade, who'll think of me ?"
Don't worry. Tuilors and shoemakers
have retentive memories, and you'll not
be forgotten. -Norristoun Herald.
FATE of n Tilted butcher.
He tried in drink to drown his cares,
And there found no relief;
| But daily grew more woc-begone-
You never sausage grief.
| At last his weary soul found rest,
| His sorrows now are oor;
| No nci'e maid now troubles hinl-
Pork reachcr, he's no more.
One Sunday night we were sitting out
in the moonlight, unusually silent, al
most sad. Suddenly some one--a po-
etic-looking man, with IL gentle, lovely
face-snid, in low tone, did you
ever think OF the beautiful lesson the
stars teach us?" We gave vague, np-
pyecintiye mmmur, but some soulless
clod said, "No; what is it?" "How
TO wink, he answered, with sad, sweet
| voice,