Daily press and Dakotaian. [volume] (Yankton, Dakota Territory [S.D.]) 1875-1880, 1880-03-31
Jhf Daily Frfss aud patstat1s
HNs1Os DAKOTA.
0sycTl.
Wednesday Evening, March 81, 1880.
PUTTING ON AIRS
VIVA, Took ID. FIRM. ou, Of On. Man

PUTTING ON AIRS
What Took the Frills u OF Ono Man.
lie was a shrewd, white headed, old gen.
ueman tourist who sat slipping a Lemonade
in the Baldwin bar room, the other day, AID
who remarked, an a self-important looking
individual came in and haughtily ordered
a wh,skev straight
Now, l 'spose that gentleman is q OF
your Bonanza fellows, and owns about two.
thirda of the real estate round here 2"
NO." we replied. "he's a much greater
parsonage. He is one Of the successful can
didates of TIE late election"
II might have known itw exclaimed the
old gentleman, emphatically. "He acts
just as | did when / was elected to con-
sress."
How was that?
"Well, you ace, I was elected NJ. G. from
he fou,th district just after the war We Tad
4 pretty lively campaign of it, and, as ]
had never been in polilcs afore, l somehow
got the idea that the whole country had quiz
work and was watching my contest with
quivering anxiety. Every time the other
AIDE accused me Of being u chicken thief, or
a bigamlst, or something. and I'd get back
At them with a card 10 the Redville War
ahoop headed "Another Lie Nailedw 70
lend a marked copy TO every leading paper
II the country"
ibid, eh?"
eyes; and I was diegusted TO find they
never paid the sliehteat attention to mt
either. What surprised me most was that,
although l kept the president and cabinet
advised OF everything that occurred, l never
got The slightest sympathy from any oil
them. / was an administration man, too,
and l thought it was blamed singular"
"Didn't notice you at sllY
mot at all, sir. aud when I was elected
and the boys lighted q bonfire in the main
street, and serenaded me, and | spoke six
hours 10 the open air ss to my future
course on the tariff and the finances, The
New York papers merely said ths,
"a Mr.. Gum had been elected by q smal
majority my name being Gonley, as YOU
know"
THAT was hard"
well, l put that all down I envy and
malice, and I started for Washington. ]
expected that at least the speaker Of thu
house and q committee appointed by tn.
senate would be down at the depot Il
welcome me to the capital.
"D,d they do so?"
"The only person that met me were
committee of hackmen, who tore my over
coat half of, rammed me into q hack, an.
robbed me, with the aid and assistance o
the hotel clerk, who then gave me q toI
floor, and asked the first weeks board il
advance said it vas the rule of the hous'
with Arkansas members.
"The impudent rascal"
"Thats what l thought. Well, the mex
morning | got away from the bed bugs q
/ we'll as I could, and 1 went up to the whit
house to see if the president would like I
stroll down to the house to introduce N
and see me sworn in. l sent up my carr
| and in an hour or two some secretary Q
other sent back word that the president Wa
at breakfast and couldn't be bothered"
"That was pretty short, wasn't il?
"Well, l was just dumfounded. Howeve
| went down to the capitol, and told th
-ergeant-at.arms to 60 in aud announce thu
| had arrived. He grinned and said, That
devilish good, that is ) and rushed of.
expected that, of course. the members woul
come crowdlng up to congratulate me an
say something like Magnificent speech
yours, that last one, Gonley. Beat 'em b
forty.eight votes, too, old fellow And the
mebbe they'd give me three cheers, all th'
sort Of thing"
"And did they ?"
"No sir l | hope I may never stir if the
didn't give me = back seat in the cloAkrool
until my name was called, and a doorkeeF
er fired me out into the corridor twice unde
the impression that I was a lobbyist. Wei
after l had been put on the joint committe
Of %spittoons aud window washing, aud spel
a couple Of months trying to wedge iu m
great four hour speech on the match ia,
something occurred that let down my chez
rein, and took all the frills out Of me f
good"
"What was that"
SWELL, l was taking a drive out to tt
Soldiers Home one afternoon with thrt
other members when a light buggy went t
like a s,reak Of creased lightning, the tro
Ter driven BY a solemn looking man in
rusty plug hat, who was smoking a Gig,
ami steadying a small terrier on the se
with his elbow. THAT'S Butcher Boy,
SAID one of my companions with great int
ST "tro,s in 20. He's a rafting good ster
per, bet your life"
"D,d you notice that dog" eaid- anothe
BEST bred in town-tail no bigger than
rat-infernal fine dog that"
As l had nothing else to say l CASUAL
inquired who the driver Was.
"Why that's the president" said one
them with a yawn. by Jove, how I'd Iii
to have one Of those pups !"
That settled it. I've been as meek a
sad as a carhorse pulling a picnic ever sint