The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-10-30
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES

Women" says cynic, resemble flowcrS.
They shut up when they sleep
A man in Jacksonville, Fla, adyertises fol
5000 small alligators. Northern tourists VIII be
well fed The coming winter.
New Jersey game laws are being discussed in
some New York popcrs Bnt the law is the same
there as el.cwhcre-hgh goes ont first
young lady who lately gave a millner an or.
der for bonnet said: you must make ii plain,
but still! attractive and smart, as | sit IN con
spicuous place in church,
hlphonse Karr once se'' u letter to a friend
which contained olly note of interrogaton-?.
The answer vase. The meaning of these notes
were ''what is there ncwW and "nOthing." The
brevlty of wit could not be carried much further.
The Detroit Free Press gives a long Iistof def
nitions Of words from thieves dialect" Tho
Press seems to be getting ready for the new ad-
mnstration under Garfield.
1t is a mean thing for handsome man to go
70 town and give every indication OF being in the
market until half the girls are wild about him,
and then send for his wife.
Three little figures
All in row;
4 nice little scroll
Keeps them "a tow:
Three for starter,
Nine for the last,
Two in the middle
To hold them last.
Here is an ''iligant" extract from Il temperance
sermon delivered the other day by parish priest
IN County Kerry. Drink" said he, sis curse
IT makes man bate his wife, staryc his chill
dren, 90 shoot his landlord and miss him, too
"WhAt is the use" asks the San Francisco
Pest, ''of taking about art culture in San Fran
CISCO, when it is an open secret that Il ccraia
rich mining man recently sent to Florence for 4
copy Of the Venus Of Milo, and when the statue
was delivered actually sued the Central Pacific
Railroad Company for mutiiGtng a work OF art,
sBd what is more, recovered damagesl"
George Washington was very great,
As all the world can see,
And Garfield in like estate
As great man would be.
These two before the public eye
In strongest light have stood,
The one because he couldn't lie,
The other cause he could.
At Chautauqua n. r., few days ago, Rev.
Joseph Cook lGCturcd on the Tree Despised IA.
ees" That is right 1t is about time the horse
race, the boat race and the foot were pitched
Into. man always dcspises these races when
he loses money on 'cm.-NoyriStoGn Hcruid
At THE rIcNIC.
Aud one fair maid, the queen of all,
Hath on her brow frOwn;
She fears her pride will have fall
Her back hairs coming down.
.-Ecchang.
And one brave youth has sadder thoughts
Than ever yet were spoke;
His mind is full of woe, because
His back suspeuder's broke.
--Salcn, .curj.aa,
And still another youth is here,
With frenzy In his eye.
Behold his yellow seated pants
Behold that custard pie,
- Ya,ccoJ Stress.
But pie or pants he hecdeth not,
Though ruined both, alack!
For see, that nasty, horrid bug
is crawling down Sues back!
BOSTON Transcripts
And yet another youth comes in,
Who, by the mcrest chance,
Climbed high to fix the girls Il swing
And split his picnic pants.
--Stcu5enrUe Hc,add.
But saddcst yet Of ALL wecn,
Your sympathy-rll ask it,
Is the cross-cyed youth with freclled micn
Whose ma has lost his basket.
-Lockpor Union.
Another chap is wandering round
Ills thoughts all in whirl,
Ills brow with misery is crown'd--
lie cannot lind his girl
--Hotrrioo O5s.,o,,
And still another chap We find
All broke up with despair;
His girl has given a rival youth
lock OF her golden hair
.-Kcok,4k Getc C,y.
Once more yet with saddcr fate by far.
He rent the air with curses and ha'r
As he grappled the William goat
Which swallowed clean his picnic coat
bloomington Ey.
And here's young girl all forlorn,
why joins she rot in play9
hcr fellow struck her fayoritc corn
Nhlic they were at Croquet
-Richmond Baton
maiden wandGrs from the groups.
Aud sadness fill. with tears her eve,
because sue has come out IN hoops
Ana winds are blowing free and high
Earl NGbe
Another fair and thoughtful maid
l. seeking now, the cause
Why weak and watery lemonade
SO at picnic draws
-hdriJoyo Tins.
Old Sol begins 10 show his face
And down upon them beams
While right and left he leaves hi. ,r,c.
And forms his tanned 'em teams
--bos'oH Journal q Commerce,
BuckIcn's Arnica saive,
The best salye in the world for cuts brnises
sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, letter
shapped LANDS, ehlI6lsins, corns and all kinds
Of skin eruptiOns. The salye is guaranteed 10
give perfect satisfaction In every case ar money
refunded. Price - cents per boz For sale nv
=. Y. Griggs, Ottawa. Ills. y
DExoREsT's PORTFOLIO, fall number q, osmap