The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-08-11
AUGUST II.
VARIETIES

Women detest a Jealous man
whom they do not love, but it Anglers
them when man whom they do
love is not Jealous
He was from the mountain side,and
was buying his first glass of soda IL
wish you'd skim off that scum, boss ;
amt payin' for no froth you bet"
An Irishman describes savings
bank as place where you can put
your money to-day, and get it out to-
morrow, by giving thirty days no.
tice.
A bright little fve.year old miss
was taken to the barn to see some
sheep, and after looking at them a
moment she exclaimed: ooh, auntie,
see the sheep all wear their hair
banged"
An exchange is responsible for
the following: A lady living in
Louisville has husband who shores.
She keeps a clothespin under her
pillow, and when bis snoring awakes
her, she puts it OH his nose, and
sleeps i'll peace.
We ought always to deal Justly,
not only with those who are Just TO
us, but likewise with those who en-
deavor to injure us; and this, too,
for fear, least, by rendering, them
evil for evil, we should fall into the
same vice. HierQeles.
Servant looks into the breakfast
room and says please, ma'am,
there's beggar woman in the kitchen
wants something to eat" "Give her
the water in which the eggs were
boiled this morning, Bridget, it is
nutritious"
"When 1 goes a shopping" SAID
an old lady, 81 alters asks for What 1
wants, and if they has it, and it is
suitable, and 1 feel incline to buy it,
and it is cheap, and can't be got for
less, / most alters take it, without
clappering all day about it like some
people do"
An Intoxicated Irishman went into
q barber shop, and ate first the lather
and afterwards the ball of soap he
found in cup. When asked how
he liked his meal, Pat replied "The
custard was illigant, but / think the
egg was billed trife too hard
The window in dentists Office
- I ~ u L s ~. lliq ~
| tail, while he was out, and fourteen
people who would have waited for his
return, on going up the stairs and
| hearing the cats voice, decided to 90
home and stand the pain of the tooth
ache.
| A son of the Emerald Isle, meeting
a countryman whose face was not
perfectly remembered, after saluting
him most cordially, inquired his
name. "Waleh " said the gentleman"
"Walsh-Walsh," y responded Pad
| dy: care you from Dublin =? know
two old maids there of that name.
Was either of them your mother ?"
| A promising youth recently sur
prised his father by asking: "Father,
do you like mother ?" "Why, yes,
of course" "And she likes you ?'
"Of course she does" "Did she ever
say SO ?" "ManY time, my son."
Did she marry you because she
loved you?" Certainly she did,"
The boy carefully scrutinized his
parent, and, after a long pause,
asked "Well was she as near lighted
then as she is now?"
The following is unique enough to
be true GA summer or two back
lady was spending summer month
at seaside village. Her landlady
had two children-a boy and girl.
One morning the brother and sister
had been playing on the shore to.
gether. By-and-bye the little girl
came running home and aocosted her
mother. The lady lodger overheard
her words, "Mither, mither," she
said, "Johnny's fallen into the sea
but we medina be teared-we'll find
him when the tides oot."
They were very fond of each other,
and had been engaged but they
quarfeled, and were TOO proud to
make it up. He called flew days
ago at her fathers house to see the
old gentleman, on business, of course.
She was at the door, Said he "Ah,
Miss Blank, l believe; is your father
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