The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-04-02
QUlPS.

QblfS.
HELD for further hearing-The ear
trumpet.
The man who holds loan hand
The pawnbroker.
Cars have no fixed political belief.
They're usually on the fence.
SOME one wants to know how many
feet there are in the depth of despair.
A CARPENTER is about the only man
who is mad when he can't find his level.
LET nature give young man cheek,
and all other things will be added unto
him.
THIS is very gentle world if you do
not rub it, back the wrong way of the
fur.
THERE one bone that even hum
CRY dog will refuse to pick, and that is
trombone.
WHY is choleric man like hand
saw? Because directly he gets hot he
loses his temper.
OLD Cannon, who has been married
eight times. refers to his present wife as
his better eighth.
CHARLEs-"Whatd did that spring suit
cost you, ALP" Alfred-"Can't say,
dear boy-haven't been sued for it yet"
A PROMISING youth about to be chas-
tised by his father called upon his
grandfather to protect him from the
"superhuous middleman."
How TO Become Man." is the title
of new book just published. A $50
suit of clothes becomes O man as well
as anything we know of nowadays.
AN English coachman was asked to
tie up dog. and he resigned on the
ground that it was tho buffers duty.
The butler declined and resigned, and,
after six servants had left, the Earl tied
up the dog himself
THERE was once a filler of the soil
Who became Disguised with toll
That he sold cut bis farm
And. thinking of harm.
All his money he invested in OIL
He's now working by the day,
APPEARANCES are deceiving. We
know of girls that look as angelic, deli
cate and modest as dewdrop on a
rosebud, who, when they get sweetly
settled in the arms of Morpheus, will
snore with an energy that will shake
the button on the outside cellar door.
ROBERT (who fears he is rejected
"But You know, Rebecca, We are COM
manded to love everybody" Rebecca-
ayes; and so l do love erybody"
Robert OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, every
body?" Rebecca (shyly)-"Well, you
know, present company is always ex-
copied"
"THE music of the future will be
written in higher key" says musical
exchange. Dan't care if it is. But
what we demand is that the gallows be
raj ed ten feet higher for the men and
women who indulge in it, so that there
may be no chance OF escaping with
particle of life.
INvALID-"I've had wretched night,
Mrs. Wobbles." Nurse" dear
me, sir! / thought you slep' most
comfortable" Invalid with groan-
"Oh, Mrs. Wobbles, do use the add
verb Nurse" Yes, sir; I'll see about
it directly, sir, but" puzzled RELY
don't think there's one in the 'ouse,
sir"
A PRESIDENT of n college, in horse
car, noticed one OF the Freshmen curled
! up III front of him, and exhibiting OBJ
vious signs of vinous exhilaration. For
few moments the President surveyed
the undergraduate, and finally he ex-
claimed, Been on drunk" The half
conscious student rallied, and, with
CLEAN of good.fellowship in his eye,
calculated, o-hic-have l."
THE Duke of Argyll was once giving
evidence before a committee of the
House CT Commons on the temperance
question. "But," said member, in
quiringly, zone Eaillie MacP herson, APP
parently person of authority, deposes
that he never saw anyone drunk in his
dlstrict?" Fiery likely" replied his
Grace. "Scotchmen will hardly allow a
man to be drunk so long as he can lie
still on the floor"