The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-02-06
N o. 81.
SIFTINGS.

A knixht-errant-Running for doc
tor.
TOO thin--some Of Tie old sen-ocG,:
pieces.
A widespread evil-A bigumbsella III a
crowd.
When man goes on tares he spws his
wild oats. -
/ Going the rounds of tie press--Irc girl
who waltzes.
Every dog has his day, b,fa slse hlEf.ss
belong to the cats.
The Hindoos are reading .Iamice'' in
their language.
When Jack Frost comes and slaps your
sace, why slap jacks.
Men whose business is locking up-A=s
tronomers.
A profit is appreciated i'll It's own conn~
try. ...".=.... .... ..5
The man who has crow s-feet about his
eyes probably has plenty of caws,
Why is the busy bee like human con-
ten ment? Because it's a humhug.
Money is SO plenty in some Neslers.
States that even new cider doesn't hare to
work.
Mending blue stockings with whiee yarn
makes them darned sight 100 consptc-
uous.
Don't get in debt to Il Shoemaker II you
would cali your soul your owls.
Putting bent pin i'll a chair is n very
amusing practical joke 1t uereF Fails 10
excite mans rise-ability, "
A jealous wife snatched her husband
bald headed last week for talking iii his
sleep about Ann Arbor.
The only reason why we do figt seq
ourselves as others see MS is because svc
can't be looking everywhere at ouce.
The only time any one ever faqors poli~
tics in the pulpit is when he hears the
clergyman go for the opposition. --
A great curiosity-T'he woman who cali
times out Of a possible ten.
When widower and widow, both with
children, get married nowadays. they call
it pooling their issues.'
"Inever knew fashionable woman who
didn't think more of 3 fool than OF all up
right, sensible man," says Talmage,
CONSISTENCY, thou art Jewell" as the
the Office hog said when he got the paste
the right thieknessss "
Every man is made better by the pos-
session of a good picture. II it is only 81
landscape on the back Of dollar note.
ssLook out for paintn' shouted a boy
in the gallery of a Chicago theatre when
the hreo of the play kissed the heFeine,
A patent medicine advertiser says tat :s
not conducive to long life. That is 50,
"A fat hog rarely lives through The winter.
Mrs. Partington says she has hunted
and hunted and can't find out who said,
''That Ruth crushed to earth shall rise
again.
No rich American ever knows what he
is worth After his death his family are
generally glad to make his fortune pay ofF
his debts.
It has been demonstrated that the wood~
chuck has more cunning than fox, bnt
the fox has got the bulge on the busines<$
and will keepi it.
There are sixty-seven "sure cures" for
consumption, and why consumptiyes viii
continue to drop off is q mystery to patent
medicine men.
Out in Nebraska when two gceSi men
want the same Office the caucus decisies iss
favor of the one who has a door-plate or
the front door.
"Oh, yes, they have ribs enough" she
replied as she laid down corset, s'but they
don't feel like mans arm and you dont
look for 'enl Sunday nights
The Minnesota man who knocked n
preacher down in church is still wondering
how many Of the congregation struck him.
He put the number ut 5000.
The price for drawing a tooth in Chicago
is one dollar. This would seem all edt-
rageous price, but it takes one man to hold
the patients cheek back.
A young doctor spends his leisure hours
practicing on the cornet, and passers-by
thinking an amputation is going on inside
are deluded as to the number of the man =
patients.
Corduroy is becoming very popular as +
material for children's clothing, and as it
is about the only fabric that will bear slid
ing down hill and improve by the opers-
ton, there seems to be sort of eternal
fitness about it.
DR.. johnson once silenced notorious
female backbiter, who was condemning
some of her friends for painting their
cheeks, by the remark that it is far less
harmful thing for a lady to redden her own
complexion than to blacken her neighbours
A boy asked his father the ether day
what was philosopher. "a philosopher,
my sen? why, a philosopher is a nap
who reasons" SIS that so ~ said the boy
dejectedly; II thought it was a man who
didR't let things bother him. The father
patted his sons head.
Said mother to her little son. There: !:
your toes are out Of your stockings again.
Seems to me they wear out in hurry" ;"
Giving a comical leer, he said, ''Do you
know why stockings wear out first at the
toes? No." Because toes Wriggle and
| heels don't.'' s5 -
! That was bitter-soulcd man who said
to his enemy; 81 wish you had 1000
countries, and each country 1000 cities,
and each city l 900 streets, and each street
] 900 houses, and each house 1000 betls.
and that you would have to lie in each Of
those 1000 beds, 1000 years with most
fearful toothache.
=
TRe Som OF Abe HincoHra and