Louisiana capitolian., 1880-03-20
"LOCALv
ON THE wAR.PATH /!

MIX. EDIlOn rA1cuu1 AL VAO A"oo 10
sue Of the CArlToIIAN, makes formid.
able "pass'' at us; but you needn't fea'
fight. Nobody gets fight out of us
not even the Yankees.
We are o little sensitive on the subject
of hair-hope, in your remark about
"hair-pulling," that you meant no allu.
sion to our wig; this store hair, as you
know, won't stand much pulling.
Some months ago we forestalled fight
by an humble acknowledgment Of cow
ardice, to which we must now add the
weakness of extreme modeSty.
When we read the two first sentences
in "Friend's" communication, we were
80 overcome by his elaborate compli-
ments that, as yet, we are too amiable
to indulge III severity; but in answering
him, We are obeying the advice given
by the Wise Man in tho 26th chapter
and 9th verse OF Proverbs.
He says we wrote because 1--WE must
write"-but pray, whatmade him write I
Just to repeat what we have written I
''Let us tell you, "Friend," We write as
a reporter of passing events, with no
intention of q systematic train of
thought or connection of subject; and if
WE make h sudden transition from the
grandeur Of Niagara to the size of o
June-bug, it is no depression.
We think his comparison of the Uni
versity and the Penitentiary, to say tho
least, is in very poor taste; but follow
ing it out, there are serious objections
now to boarding in the Penitentiary.
The boarders there are SO given to trav-
eling-which is pleasant enough as an
occasional amusement-but to be con-
stantly off on excursions, must be very
tiresome to persons of quick and seden-
tary habits. True, their uniform is last
ing, but is very trying and unbecoming
to the complexion and figure-not to
mention that it is at all times inconve
niently conspicuous.
We arc obliged to Friend" for posting
us in the price of peanuts. We have
never known the price Of them since We
Joined the temperance society!
We don't know who this "gifted
Friend" can be, and VIC are not given to
betting, but during tho war, wo learned
og"ess. We gI,ess that he has no boy
interest to invest, either in the Univer-
sity or in another quarter! We guess
ho il a bachelOr-married folks don't
snub "disliragA' or "scrubbing." Guess
he wasn't off in the army without fine
tOOth-cOmb. Guess he loves to sit in
pleasant pIacds; to be famed by gentle
breezes, provis'ed they don't come from
the northeasts to look at the "Father of
Waters" till swimming time comes; to
eat green Pcrsimmons; to listen to
"singing-birdS"; to inhale tho sweet
odors from tho beautiful flowers; to
admire lovely women. Guess the dull
ness of his "fat-office" forces him to
write to keep his "mastcr genius from
stagnation." Guess he can't select sub
1ects for us to write npon. Guess he
will soon be trying to join the ''Emigra-
tion Society" Guess he tried going off
once, returned home, said nothing about
failure, but like the old fable of the
"foxcs and the bricr-patch," hc advised
all the other foxes to go 10y all means !;
and finally, we guess that the individual
who conld sum up "grcy-buttons,"
"brass-clothes," "dishrags," "drums,'
"still-hunts," ETC., and snub the whole,
is as destitute of ntimcnt as he is of
"patriotism."
"ralking is talking" and we are al
ways talking about immigration, and
holding out as an inducement the mex
hanstiblc productiveness of our soil.
Now "Friend' talks of starving because
we can't find paying salaries for clerks.
These boys are competent, honest, so
Der, industrious and honorable" and
this is the very reason we don't want
them to 90 away. "Friend" says We
gave no reason why young men should
stay in Baton Rouge. We gave no rcas-
son because we thought all reasonable
people knew that any young man might
make a living in Baton Rouge-that is,
il he was as willing to work as hard here
as he was elscwhere-as willing to stay
at home and become horny-handed
tiller of the soil as he is to go out into
the world and buffet the waves of ad-
vcrsity among strangers; and hope for
no higher destiny than q prccarious
clerkship.
"Fricnd's' selection of subjects for us
to write upon don't suit us. The elm
provement Of the Navigation of the
Mississippi" has already been discussed
too much for tho financial interest of
the country. Grant hasn't got any moral
character for us to write about, and
"Mrs. jerks Biography would only in
terest her personal acquaintances ~ We
dislike throwing back the charge of am
bignity; but in that last, touchingly
pathetic sentence, where "Friend" gives
full vent to all the pent-up, atfectionatc
sentiment of his loving soul in these
tender words, that "Heaven's choicest
blessings may rest upon "you, bestow-
ing health, wealth and happi ness" We
can't for the life Of us make ont which
he means--"the boys" or "Local."
We are always Dragging of our town,
ond must brag Of our homemade ice,