The Osceola times., 1880-05-01
LOVELY WOMAN,

LOVELY WOMAN,
When woman hears strange nays
What form OF speech SO effiacions
To give expression to her views
As 'ni' pam LnsnSh-"Goodness graeiOu.-
Aud when she hears tail of wo.
OF friends who'ye lost good nans
How can she sorrow better show VI money
Than remarking--"Aint 1t flnpy,n
PUSH BROTHERS.
Push, brothers, push with care
Push the Ia 10 the l. square.
The TO the and you've got II tbe,a.
The ~ 10 the y, or you don't care vhs
But the 10 and the IA they will : iet tsle, te,
Push brothers, push with care. 'e'
iii your Ian MNSs yoSr i5s bsis al III umble and yss
World
THE BOON.
The man who invented boom"
Should be flung In a cold, dark roor
And over his head
A blanket spread
Asa hint Of his coming doom.
Philadelphia Chrouic,.
A Two-FAcED CHILD.
A child with two faces-one whe,o A..
back of the head ought to be-wss Nv -
Gently born in Ohio. Thus is ano,hs'
long felt want supplied. A race oS Nv
men with eyes 50 arranged that they c,n
see. without turning the head, what ~.
woman who had just passed has on % h..
long been needed in this country.-PhT'
delphid Chronicle.
DON'T SHOOT.
When Boston man out in Leadvir.
got into row with desperate. the ls,'
ter drew revolver, and the Boston man
cried, Don't shootw
'Oh, ye don't want me TO shoot eb~
shrieked the rough.
NO, don't shoot; you may break,
window"
The desperate put up the pop.-Bosn
Post.
TIE DEN ToGEDDER.
They had their usual evening ouar,s,
as they sat by their hearth. On On.
side lay quietly blinking dog, and on
the other a purring cat, and the old vo-
man pleaded with her growing husband
"Gust look at dot gat und dat top. dey
nefer gwarrels nor fights lik e US"
Yah, said the old growler, IL know,
dot; but yus tie dem togedder one time
uuu ucIl you ntt NOi
CALM DELIGHT.
There is one boy in this citv saws The
Rochester Democrat. whose bosom IA
hlled with pure and calm delight. For
some ofense, bis father took his sled
away from him in the early part Of the
winter, with the promise that be should
not have it again until another season
and the boy confidentially remarked 10
a friend that this warm weather wa
the best rig on the old man ne had ever
heard of"
WHAT SHE BOUGHT.
Just three weeks after the boy wu
born, the pale, fond mother, all tremb.
ing with delight, went down into the
main street Of the city, near which she
lived, and she bought tor him an accor.
deon, triangle, pair of scissors, box
OF paints, book of poetry, a cat with
SIX kittens, wax man with a barrel or.
gan and monkey, and, taking them be-
fore his father, said: "Now, darling
there is something that will amuse YOU
nights. Herald p l.
THE BICYCLE.
In the glaring light of the noonday
sun, bicycle looks as harmless and
facinating as a Gagged anaconda, but when
the two-wheeled thing silently and
swiftly scoots by timld pedestrian, late
at night, he involuntarily shudden,
draws himself up into the smallest pos
sible comnass and clings 10 fence for
support, and not until the internal ma
chine has turned the next corner and
disappeared in the darkness does he ~
alize what 1t was that scared him.
Hackensdek Republican.
AN ANTE-BELLuM POKER STORY REroLp.
On one of the steamers that plowe
the waters of the Mississippi in dau
gone by, a quiet party was deeply i'm.
mersed oae evening in the mysteries d
that somewhat uncertain game called
poker. One Of The party, a colonel, o.
Judge, or major-history does not record
which-in tit Of abstraction took The
four aces from the pack with which the
game was being played and laid them %
his knee. The game progressed, and The
colonel almost raised" his antagons1
out Of their boots. When the draw
came he threw away his legitimate i've
cards, called for one, and reached for TIE
four aces on his knee. They were gone
Rising he cried in tones of virtuous in |
dignation:
Gentlemen, this thing has gone al +
enough. There's cheating going on
around this table"
HE EXrfNGUIsHED HIM.
The other evening, at little dlnnG
party, one of the guests, the younga
brother of an English nobleman, e.
pressed, with comendsole freedom, ID
opinion of America and its people.
II do not altogether like your county,
said the young gentleman, for oN
reason, because you have no gen'0
here"
What do you mean by gentry| ssKs'
another of the company.
well, you know" replied the u
glishmen, "well-oh, gentry are thos
who never do any work themselves snl
whose fathers before them never o'
any,"
"Ah" exclaimed the interlocuol
then we have plenty of GEM,
in America; but we don't call the1
gentry-we call them tramps."
A laugh went around the table, sn'
the young Englishman turned his Vr
versatian into another channel