The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-04-30
THE HIDDEN CALF.
How Dr. Potts, Experiment Failed

HE HIDDEN CALF.
How Dr. Potts. Experiment Failed.
Old DIR. Potts, of San Francisco. and
who is an enthusiast in his profession,
is the originator of the theory that much
disease is transmitted to human beings
through eating the flesh of immature ami
mails, such as calves, in the early spring.
The doctor maintains that the young
animals, in their inexperience, eat greed
lily OF certain noxious weeds, and that
the poison thereby assimilated is trans
ferred to the blood of the consumer of
the animals flesh. AS this assertion was
disputed by some of his contemporary
M. is, DR.. Potts determined to make
some useful experiments before giving
to the world his discovery. He accord
ingly purchased IA 6-months' calf-one
OF the kind that appear to be built on
stilts-and, as the doctor had no back
yard to speak of, he had the brevet COW
placed in the cellar, where he proposed
to mix the weeds III question among its
food for few days prior to its being
converted into test outlets, SO to speak.
The China boy was bribed not to men
ton the Calls presence to the other
members of the household, who, it hap
pened, had been absent while the quad
ruped was being secretly let down
through the coal-hole by the butcher.
To prevent its bleating the doctor had
wedged n stout leather muzzle on its
nose.
That night the doctor was awakened
by Mrs. Potts, who sat up in bed and
gasped in a horror-stricken voice: ezra
cious heavens Archibald, don't you
hear that singular noise down stairs ?"
The calf had evidently gotten the
muzzle about half off, and was making
peculiar sound, resembling small fog
horn tortured by remorse, but Old Potts
stammered out that he couldn't hear
anything in particular.
"Not hear anything, Dr. Potts? Are
you deaf? Just listen to that It's
perfectly blood-curdling."
perhaps it's rats" hazarded the mis-
cradle physician.
Rats, DIR. Potts Are you insane
Did you ever hear rats wailng like lost
soul in purgatory ?"
well, not exactly like it, said the
doctor, soothingly, but perhaps"
81 can't stand it a moment longer. L
shall go wild if you don't go down and
see what's the matter. It's my belief
that burglars are trying to murder All
Wong"
"Well, my dear, if you insist I'll"
But just then there came sudden
jerk at the bell and "a terrible hammer
ing at the front door, The doctor put
up the window and beheld delegation
of about fifty half-dressed neighbors
with four police officers in their midst.
SIS he dead yet?" said one of the
crowd, as the doctor poked his head out.
Is who dead ?" said the latter, much
astonished.
Why, your brother, down there in
the cellar. Didn't you tell us your
brother had made II big strike i'll stocks,
and was coming to stay with you this
week?" asked Didimus, the doctors
next-door neighbor.
Why, yes! What of it ?"
"You cold-blooded villain. Do you
suppose no one heard you numbering
him in the cellar just now? By Jove,
he Is not dead yet-he's grooming still.
Just listen!'
eff you don't lemme in I'll bust the
door down." said one of the police.
"Oh, Archibald to think you should
turn out to be a murderer gasped Mrs.
Potts, going into Mysteries.
Old Potts was too mad to utter word.
He just walked down stairs in his night
cap, admitted the whole crowd, con-
Quoted it to the cellar stairs, handed the
policeman a candle, and told him to go
ahead. He then went up stairs and
awaited results.
OF course the calf made break for
the light as soon MS it saw it. The big
officer holding it was upset by terrible
butt III the stomach, the candle went
out, and, amid the rafting of the coal
and the unearthly yells of the crowd, the
cellar began to vomit forth hatless,
grimy, and disguised men.
When they had all gone, Old Potts
quietly descended, locked the house up
again, tied a sponge full of chloroform
round the calls nose, resuscitated Mrs.
p, and then returned gloomily to his
dreams of science. Thus ended one of
the most interesting incidents of pioneer
g. L.