Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-07-30

F. u n
No USE TRYING TO COURT A WHOLE
FAmLY.-s'I don't want to make any
trouble. but there is one man in this city
who ought to be gibbeted - began blunt
spoken woman of forty five as she stood
before the officials of the Twentieth street
. station, in Detroit, day or two ago.
When they inquired the particulars she
handed out letter and said:
'sObserve the envelope. That letter is
addressed to me-. You will see that tie
writer calls me his jessamine, and he
wants me to set an early day for the we'd
ding.'
When the captain had finished the let
ter she was ready with another, adding:
ssAnd this is addressed to my daughter
Lucretia You will see that he calls her
his rosy angel, and he says he can't live if
she doesn't marry him. It's the same
man."
So it was, and his letter was as tender as
spring chicken. That finished, she hand
ed out third, with the remark:
s'This is directed to my daughter Helen.
It's the very same man, and in it he calls
her his pansy, and he says he dreams of
herr ss9 93 ~ ~ ~
"Why, he seems to love the whole
family" remarked the captain.
sThat's just it. Pm a widow with two
daughters, and he was counting us all at
once and engaged to the three of us at the
same time. Oh, what wretches there are
in this world!'' s-
"Yes, indeed. It's lucky you found him
QUIZ ,g-s,rt-s
eyes, it is. II I hadn't he might have
married the whole caboodle of us. If Lu-
cretia hadn't opened one Of my letters,
and if hadn't searched the girls pockets
while they were asleep, we'd have thought
him an innocent lamb
Sand do you want him arrested?"
'sNo, guess not, but I want this mat
ter to go into the papers as warning to
other women. just think of his sitting up
with me Sunday night, Lucretia on We'd
nesday night and Helen on Friday night,
and calling each one Of us his climbing
rose. Oh, sir, the women ought to know
what deceiving animal man is!''
Eyes, he's pretty tough" sa
SIT has learned me lesson,'' she said as
she was ready to go. 1.-THE next man that
comes sparkling around my house has got
to come right out and say which he's after.
If it's the girls won't say anything, and
if it's me it WONT do 'em any good to slam
things around and twit me OF burying two
s!'-Detroit Free Press.
A RUNAWAY HUsBAND.-Last week
man residing in East Toledo, O., skipped
from his family and brought up in Detroit.
His wife got clue to his whereabouts and
came on after him, and yesterday she had
an interview with him at the Central Sta
ton. where he had been run in for the pur-
pose. She had no tears to shed. On the
contrary. her hair had fighting bang and
as soon as she could get her breath
she began:
$50, you miserable little apology for a
human being, you skipped out, did you ?'''
No reply.
latter I had washed and scrubbed and
sewed for nearly twenty years to support
YOU you got tired Of your family, did you?
Our style of living wasn't tony enough to
suit you, and you wanted a diamond pin
and caneI''
essay, Lucy, Pm sorry" he mumbled.
ssWell, amt % she snapped. "No,
sir! On the contrary, Pm glad OF it !!
You've chewed tobacco and drank whis-
ker and whitfield shingles and loafed on
the corners at my expense just as long as
you ever will! !"
'sWhat do you want Of me, then %
swami Of you? Why, want to clear
my character ! All our neighbors say that
YOU ran away from me, and some pity me
and some laugh. You run away from me!
Why you low-down corner loafer, you
couldn't run away from anything but a
spade or'an axe. I followed you to get
this matter straight. I'vgot to live there,
and Pm not going to be either pitied or
laughed at !"
.sWhat do you want ?" he asked.
ssHeres what I want!" she said as she
seized his collar and twisted him around.
esNow, you take that-and that-and LII
have these officers sign paper that I
found you and kicked you out to take care
of yourself! Now, you gitl Don't ever
write me; don't ever dare to come back to
me! Even if hear that you ever tell any
body that you were married to me I'll buy
a shotgun and hunt for you'll"
The husband sneaked out doors and
down the street, and the wife, having the
"docs'' in her pocket, walked the other
way, muttering to herself:
ssSkipped out! Run away from his
familyI Well, his old shirts will make a
mon worth twice the value of his whole
hodvl Now, want to see some one grin
in the face Of this testimonial that
raised him right off his heels !'-Detroit
Free Press.
T.. so,,oa roorocts the gentler sex far