Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-04-30
GLEANINGs.

I = {,
ALWAYS IN haste The letter b.
BETWEEN two evils, choose neither
WIDows and widowers ought to be
repaired. hi ss.ss
TROUBLE can always be borrowed at
low rates. rzf.
TO STOP man from talking Cut bis
head off n.
DOES the maternal Goldfish call its,
young with Goldfish bawl.
Glow OLD is our earth? " asks an ex-
change. Cou1dnt say. It got here be-
fore we did. -
Why is the vowel 30" the only one
sounded Because all the others, are
inaudible. - Il ss-.$ r..
A DOGS tail is the greatest novelty OF
the day. Why9 Because no one ever
saw it before. ~
A DuToHMAN, describing a pair of
horses, said: "Dey was exactly alike,
specially der off one." 80
SoFT solder mends many hole in
hard pan, and taffy heals many wound
ed spirit, if judiciously applied. s4'.s
"DoEs your wife play euchre?" asked
one. @No," replied the other, rubbing
his head, @but she's death on poker"
WHEN man utters tarefaced false
hood, you feel shocked; but when he
tells another, the effect is to pair O, lies.
Mrs. BROWN says her husband is such
blunderer that he can't even try on a
new boot without putting his foot into
it.
Z The habits of fruit are peculiar; we
have seen a raisin box, fig drum, and
an apple stand all day on the corner of
q street.
@DUTY stares me in the face" said the
deacon, when the custom-house officers
caught him smuggling dozen pair of
gloves.
A CHILD being asked what wero the
three great feasts of Jews, promptly and
not unnaturally replied: Breakfast
dinner and supper"
DID you ever notice that the man
who calls baby ga brat . never knows
as much in week as ten-pound baby
does in minute? :.
SIZE was plump and beautiful, and he
was wildly fond OF her. She hated
him, but, woman like, strove to catch
him. He was flea. cs..,
APoTHEcARY-"Yc want this pre-.
scription filed, sir, understand" Pat.
rick-"Divil a bit of it, SURF It's the
bottle wud have filled!"
A WESTERN editor says one hug is
worth dozen love letters, and they
cannot be introduced as evidence in 9
breach-of-promise suit, either.
| A JERsEYMAN tells us his wife was
kicked in the jaw by mule. "Did il
hurt herr" BLESS you, no; but the
mule broke his leg, and had to be
shot"
A CRITICISM of the opera: Gentle
man-@What breadth of expression she
hasl" Lady" Yes, her mouth is big
enough to give us any breadth we may
require"
If you want to make a noise in tbs
world, obtain situation to beat bass
drum, and execute your work witt
vigor. People will think you are 6
great man if you only pound hare
enough.
A BOY in the country writes to an
other in the city to come and visit him
He proposes to him to get his father'E
consent, and says it might be done in
this way: ask your sister to ask YOU
mother to ask your father to let 20,
come"
! SAYS Mrs. A. to Mrs. B.:
| "You must excuse me- dearl
! But then know you cannot see
| The SCOT in your left ear"
ooh thank you, dear!" says Mrs. B.;
you're very kind to speak;
| How could it get there? Let me see
Oh, yesl the cars last week!'
This fable teaches plain, though rough;
| Don't give yourself away
by saying more than just enough.
! And battle on every day.
A GOOD judge of mutton ought to b,
wether wise