Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-09-24
4 ScandalOuS Dog.

gentlemen who had a wayward son.
The young man liked to run with
the boys, and managed to use up
considerable of the old gentleman's
substance for wine suppers, fast
teams and other unholy dissipations.
Consequently, this young man was
always in debt, constantly in need
of ready cash, and continually max
ing acquisitions on his governors
eXchequer.
At last the old gentleman took a
tumble, whatever that may mean;
but the young man, in describing
the course his father had concluded
to pursue, remarked to II friend that
the old man had taken Il tumble.
The said tumble consisted i'll his
notifying his son and heir that from
that on and henceforth no more
cash for any funny business, and
the old fellow was as good as his
word. Down in his heart of hearts
the young man was grlevously sore,
but he assumed u smile though he
felt it not, and made earnest protes-
tons of reform. Meanwhile he kept
on running with the boys on tick.
Tick is one of those things that has
u limit, and one day the wayward
son found himself at the end OF his
rope, 50 to speak, and at his wits
end for funds to keep up his end
with the other boys, and after can
vassing the matter in his mind and
assuring himself that the old gen.
tlcman was inexorable and no coin
could be squeezed out of him on
square proposition, he hit upon n
happy expedient. Entering the pa,
tcrnal presence and assuming look
of business, he said:
" Father, have you read about
that man over in Brooklyn that can
teach dogs to talk y
If the old man had been in his
halcyon days of his youth, he would
probably have said, "Whatyergivin-
us? 2" but being the father of a fam
lily, he said, " What sort of nom
sense are YOU talking about how q
Fact, sure's YOU live, said the
Young hopeful; I've seen the thing
mvaclf, and | didn't know but what
a7s4M y - -sss. e~sr,~-t :riea TO taAe7sn
Tige and have him taught. 4 talk
ing dog would be Il cheerful thing
to have about the house and would
make lots of amusement for the
childlen.
my som" returned, :hc father
soielnnly, " I'm IN Oil inan, and
have seen a powerful sight Of the
world, and I tell you this is an age
of ,humbug. -
"That's all right, father, bu. isn't
it likewise an ago of Progress?
Look at the locomotive, and the tel
ephone and the Atlantic cable, and
the patent whatdoyoucallem, and all
those other things they didn't know
about in the days of the revolution
ary fathers
Certainty, certainly my son; glad
to see you showing such knowledge
of the worlds progress. And do
YOU really tniuk the man can teach
dogs to talk =,
" Sure pol! But it don't cost a
cent if it. failure. The Professor
says he don't want any money if the
dog cant be taught IN one week to
carry ON II CONVERSATION with any
body The terms are just these:
You take the dog over and pay the
$50 in advance. If at the end of
IL week the dog can't talk, you get
your $50 back again; but if he can
talk you pay $50 more, making an
even hundred for the lessons.
Well, it would be odd to have
old Tige talking around the house,
and 1 guess we'll try the thing, any
how. You can take the dog over
this afternoon if you like"
And the old man went down in
his kick as the boys call it, and
handed the boy $50 note.
Tige left the house that day.
From day to day tho old gentle
man inquired of his son as to the
progress Tige was making in his
studies. The invariable reply Of
the son was: "Thc Professor says
he's just getting On fine, and is 60
ing to make n talker from base"
At last the eventful day came
when Tige was to be brought home,
and the young man took the other
fifty from his trusting parent. That
evening he came home without the
dog.
Where's Tige ?" asked the Gov
ernor.
"See here, father" said the young
man. GIVE got something to say
and it won't do to speak it out be-
fore all the family. I'd like to have
about five minutes conversation
with YOU in another room"