Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-12-13

better than 10 entertain friends. And
We all %. We give up everything to
them and at other times abstain from
many things, the better to provide when
they come. We like visitors because
then We fare best, and vet
people arc for ever apolopiz.
ing about this and that when
they know il is better than usual.
Laughter. What's the use OF lying?
Applause. Perhaps it's winter, and
our old college chum comes to visit us.
We sit down, in true American style,
with our feet on the mantle, 80 that all
OF ourgenerosity aud hospitality and
sociabllity will 20 to our heads. And in
conveesation We bring back those old
scene4 We talk OF the sleighing and
the slzting. and Of those walks under
the moonlit sky, besides those red
cheeks and bright .eyes-our second
cousin, you know. Laughter.l And
we talk on and on, and the clock strikes
one-two, and We 60 to bed humming:
'shsuld auld acquaintance be forgot"
But there are persons in this commu.
nifty who expect you have nothing else
! to do but entertain them. And they
sit and sit, and you groan and groan,
and they finally look at their watch and
guess they must be going. And YOU
say, faintly, Whats your hurry" And
they stay and change seats, and then
yawn, and button their coats, and
stand at the door, and when tbey
do Ket off, you are on the
verge OF despair. Compared with
such jnuisances, blessed is seasickness; /;
blessed is gout. When l see such men
l always cross the street.
And then come these bores who
must always speak at meetings-always
have the floor. Balaam's travelling.
com panion spoke, 80 must they. Speak
they will, though they are as bad as the
s,ammering man who got hold of a pep.
per box and after trying in vain to ex-
tract the contents, said: "T.t-this box is
l.l.lke me; has v.v.yery p.ppoor de-
livery" Laughter. But it makes no
difference. They must speak or burst
and 90 it happens that so many meet
ings are talked to death.
Dependency.
Too many men are always despond-
ing, always blue, always looking on the
dark side OF things. Samuel Boyce, the
author, starved to death with pen in
his hand. Crabbe walked all night on
Westminster bridge because he was too
poor to pay for a nights lodging. But.
Ter the author OF "Hudibras," starved to
death. Tasso, in a sonnet, begs for only
the light of cats eye. Wesley was
pelted with stones. Milton was blind.
Younp's "Night Thoughts" were
the cypress which grew over the
grave OF his darling child. And there is
not; in all this house, an eye tina, never
wept or heart that never seemed
broken. [Lonsapplause.l Paradoxical
as it may seem, people who have met
trouble are the happiest. But who
could endure 365 days OF cold drizlle?
You may be born with a foreboding
spirit, but why yield to it: Many say,
Oh, ] have such bad temper, | am not
RESPONSIBLE for it. But | say you are,
andby the grace OF God you can change
il. There is but one Siamese Twins to
millions happily born, and alway re-
member there are more pippins than
crab apples.
sunday the Best Day.
Sunday morning comes in one house.
hold and the father says to the children:
This is the holy Sabbath, my children.
Clcse up that piano. shut the sunlight
out. Repent Of your sins and pray
And in other ways he makes the day
miserable. But in another family circle
tho scene is different. The father rises
and calls up the children: "Get up, my
desrs; this is Sunday, the best day IN
the week. Let in God g sunshine
and the praise songs OF the birds.
| will read Psalm and We will sing,
Hold the fort and 'Halleluiah! It's
DONE" That's the way TO spend Sun.
day. | tell you these people who can
sing and won't sing, should be sent to
Sing sing. [Applause and laughter
Sunday School Orators.
There is certain practice in vogue OF
asking all visitors to address Sunday
schools. 1t is hard enough to address
grown folks, but when it comes to chill
dren there are but few who can do it.
And vet a superintendent feels it his
bounden duty to invite every visitor to
speak a few words to the children.
Well, one Of those solemn, doleful men
once got in Sunday school. He must
have broken in. L.ughter He got
I'D TO talk and drew his face down and
told the children they were awfuly
wicked. He was wicked himself, he
said, when he was q child, and more
wicked when he grew up. And he con-
tnued in this lachrymose strain until
every hearer was as doleful as he was.
I tell you despondency is
most unproiitabie feeling. The hya-
cinth is the only flower / know that
starts in a cellar; but no sooner does
the sun look out than thousands oil car.
nations put up their lips to be kissed
and blush clear down to their shoulders.
ALI, il we couldn't laugh and sing what
would become OF us.
Keeping Your Digestion Good
Did YOU ever see man who ate reg.
ularly at 10 o'clock at night, look on the
bright side of things? That is, unless 1t
was regular business, which makes a
difference But many q business man
can trace the cares OF traffic one day TO
a lobster supper the night before. Let's
keep our spirits up by plenty OF out
door exercise-that helps more than
ANYTHING else to look on the bright side
of things. Have you horse? Keep
him well groomed, 30 that he will glls-
ten from haunch to fetleck. Order him
out, pat him; speak gently to him. then
leap upon his back and pallop Tor an
hour. olike the wind; fly along and
PISS everything on the road: Fly
along until your cheeks CLEAN and your
ewes glow and then who wouldn't have
an appetite for supper! There is some
thing wrong in that mans heart who
does not like a horse. say it delib'r.
atelv-,he man who would injure
horse, deserves-to be kicked by a
mule. Laughter
Have You skatest
Brighten and sharpen them up and has.
ten to the nearest smooth ice. Strap
them tightly on and carve all OF the
hierogly phcs OF sport. Dart and skim
about like a swallow, until every vein
glows with new life. ! tell you. Sport
i A queen who often sits in palace OF
ice. throned in the Arctics, and such
come nearest her throne, who come
with the skaters tippet-a ringing ar
my Of steel. q,
o.. LII .od bst mana can sfand