Morning journal and courier., 1880-12-14
HERES RICHNESs.'

You can deceive your guileless little wife, young man, but her fathers wife-never
 domestic named Angelica Jordan has passed over her last name and become a DOT tion of her first name. Coal oil did it. A dealer in cheap clothing asks if one of
 his overcoats can be sent through the post
 office second-class male matter Yes, probably; unless St be base fiattery to call his goods stsecond- class. ."-Bosto7 Transcript.
 Can give my son college education at home says proud and anxious father.
 Certainly" replies all expert who knows all about it. ''An you want is base ball guide, racing shell, and few packages of cigar cites"
 Mamma, 7" said little downtown chap as his indulgent parent gave him second piece of pumpkin pie, mamma guess this puzzled parent. '''Cause, mamma it goes so fast!" And in two minutes he passed his plate for a third piece.
 A well known and estimable person, who carries on a mortuary business was aroused from his sleep by the violent ringing of the bell about three hours before sunrise Some body with German accent asked him if he were indeed Mr. John Smith. He said he was. ''You are de undertaken ?' q amthe undertaken, sir," said MT. John Smith, full of sad joy at the prospect of an impending funeral 'Den," cried the unseen German, 'I unt mein friend will drouble you for two biers ''-E1.
 THE LIME-KILN CLUB-'tA leetle money will buy wood an 'taters an bacon, an shoes an cloze, began the old man as the meeting opened. 'Lots of money will buy silks an satins an jewelry an white hosses. De man wid leetle money seems to believe dat de man wid lots of 1t am takin' all de comfort I used to have dat ideah, but Tze got ober it. It my solemn belief dat de man who sots 11 1, H,.o l. right an his chil'ren on de left, an' de ole cat an a pan full O apples in de middle, am in posishun to take jist as much com fort if he lived in house w1d golden stairs. Take de world frew an you'll fin dat de humblest homes am de happiest. De man who has steady work, savin' wife an healthy children, wouldn't be bit happier if he was to draw $5O,00O in lottery If he don't take comfort it's his own fault. It's her own fault if his wife isn't happy. Some times my ole woman gifts de blues an blows aroun' kase she sees odder folks ride out in deir kerridges an dress up in deir satins, but build up good fire, git out de apples, cider an popcorn, draw up de big rockin' cheer, an she can't stan it ober ten minits. De blues begin to fly away, an she pats de bald spot on my head and says We has cabin of our own, plenty to eat, leetle money in de bank, an spect we kin sot down an take as much solid comfort as if you war Guv'ner an I had ten silk dresses He who makes de most of what he's got am fttin' hisself to en- joy better. No situashun but what could be made worse. Ebery dollar made by honest work ought to bring two dollars worf of solid comfort. Wid desc few remarks called forth by overhearin' Samuel Shin growlin' aroun' bekase he couldn't have mashed taters at every meal, we will now eradicate the usual order of busi- ness.'' Eradicate '" Gueried the Rev. Pen- stock, as he bolted to his feet. 'De char said eradicate,' answered the president. ''De chr doan boas' of his eddicashun, but he knows de difference between predicate and eradicate. :" Gould you predicate dis meet in ?'' asked the reverend. ''If sarcum- stances. was favorable an de moon in de fust quarter think could. If de brudder will now drap back into his seat we will endeayor to peramDulate de gin'ral programme" ''Pea--!" Twill Brudder Penstock drap?" He drapped -Det50it Free Press