The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-04-21
THE CHURCH ROAD.

On the road once more, with Leb.
anon fading away in the distance, the
fat passenger drumming idly on the
window pane, the cross passenger sound
asleep and the tall thin passenger read
ing Gen. Grants Tour Around the
World" and wondering why "Green's
August Flower" should be printed
above the doors of "a Buddhist Tenn
pie at Benares." To me comes the
brakeman, and, seating himself on the
arm of the seat, says: r."
I went to church yesterday"
Yes?" I said, with that interested
infection that asks for more. :" And
what church did you attend?" T.
Which do you guess?" he asked.
Some union mission church 2" I
hazarded. It, IT. ..E ..E.tg
"Naw," he said, g don't like to run
on these branch roads very much. I
don't often 60 to church, and when I
do, want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you go
on schedule time and don't have to wait
on connections. I don't like to run on
branch. Good enough, but I don't
like it," .4s,. - ... ,sr=,t.z4
Episcopal?" I guessed. -
Limited express he said, "all pal
ace cars and So extra for seat; fast
time and only stop at the big stations,
Nice line, but too exhaustive for q
brakeman. All train-men in uniform;
conductors punch and lantern silver
plated, and no train-boys allowed.
Then the passengers are allowed to talk
back at the conductor, and it makes
them too free and easy. No, couldn't
stand the palace cars. Rich road,
though. Don't often hear of a receiver
being appointed for that line. Some
mighty nice people travel on it, too
" Uniyersalist?" suggested. g. .
"Broad gauge" said the brakeman
"does too much complimentary bust
ness. Everybody travels on pass.
Conductor doesn't get a fare once in
fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations
and won't run into anything but union
depot. No smoking car on the train.
Train orders are rather vague, though,
and the train-men don't get along well
with the passengers. No, T didn't go
to the Universalist, though I know
some awfully good men who run on
that road.'' -l4a @~
presbyterian ?" I asked.
Marrow gauge, eh?" said the brake.
man; pretty track, straight as a rule;
tunnel right through mountain rather
than go around it; spirir-level grade Z:
passengers have to show their tickets
before they get on the train. Mighty
strict road, but the cars are little mar
row; have to sit one in q seat and no
room in the aisle to dance. Then there's
no stop-over tickets allowed got to 20
straight through to the station you're
ticketed for, or you can't get on at all.
When the cars full, no extra coaches
cars built at the shops to hold just SO
many and nobody else allowed on. But
you don't hear of an accident on that
road; it's run right up to the rules"
Maybe you joined the Free Think
ers?" said. H@
Scrub road" said the brakeman
"dirt road-bM, and no ballast; no time
card and no train dispatcher. All trains
run wild, and every engineer makes bis
own time just as he pleases. Smoke if
you want to; kind of go-as-you-p please
road. Too many side tracks, and every
switch wide open all the time, with the
switchman sound asleep, and the target
lamp dead out. Get on as you please,
and get off when you want to. Don't
have to show your tickets, and the con-
| ductor isn't expected to do anything
but amuse the passengers. No, sir; I
was offered pass, but don't like the
line. l don't Like to travel on road
that has no terminus. Do you know,
sir, I asked Division superintendent
| where that road run to, and he said he
hoped to die if he knew. I asked him
if the General Superintendent could
tell me, and he said he didn't believe
they had General Superintendent,
and if they had, he didn't know any
thing more about the road than the pas
sengers. I asked him who he reported
to, and he said, nobody asked a
conductor who he got his orders from,
and he said he didn't take orders from
any living man or dead ghost. And
when asked the engineer who he got
his orders from, he said he'd like to
see anybody give him orders; he'd run
that train to suit himself, or he'd run it
INTO the ditch. NOW, you see, sir, I'm q
railroad man, and I don't care to run on
road that has no time, makes no con-
nections, runs nowhere, and has no Su-
perintendent. It may be all right, but
I've railroad led too long to Understand it. .
did you try the Methodist" said,
"Now you're shouting" he said, with
some enthusiasm. 6 Nice road, eh?
Fast time and plenty Of passengers.
Engines carry q power Of steam, and
don't you forget it; steam gauge shows
100, and enough all the time. Lively
road when the conductor shouts AL
aboard you can hear him to the next
station. Every train lamp shines like
. headlight. Stop-over checks given
on all through tickets; passenger can
drop of the train @ often g he likes,