Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-11-04
iBrooklyn Eagle
Catching q Burglar.

dyke, sitting upright in bed with sudden
Jerk SAY, my dear. wake up hear burg
lars in the house"
"Who3 what burglars" demanded Mrs
Spoopendyke as she popped up beside her
husband. who's in the house ?"
'Hushl Quiet, will YEP | don't know
which burglar. but hear some one moving
around"
"Oh, my. What shall We do?" inquired
Mrs: Spoopendyke. Lets cover up our
heads"
why don't you get up and light the
gas?' propounded Mr.. Spoopendyke in a
hoarse whisper. "S'pose you can see who
it is in the dark Strike light, can't YEP
II ye had your way we'd both be murdered
IN bed. Going to light up before we're
killed ?"
I'm afraid" whispered Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. sticking one foot out Of bed and haul
ing It in as If she had caugh, fish with it.
Going TO sit there like shot tower and
have our throats cut ?" nterrogated Mr.
Spoopendyke. "liow'm | going to find a
burglar without light Find match and
light the measly gas, now, quick"
Mrs. Spoopen;lyke crawled out of bed and
hunted around for a skirt.
What's the matter with you2 Can't you
find natch2 Why don't YOU move ?"
hissed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
81 am as fast as can" replied his wife.
her teeth chattering. I'm looking for a
pin"
"Oh, you're moving like railroad. amt
YEP never saw ANYTHING Nv ike YOU do
All you want is to be done up in blue and
white paper so be scidliiz powder. What
l' u, nt nf MIN {.,tD, Il =,
the burglar Why don't YOU light that gas
Mrs. Spoopcndyke broke half dozen
matches and finally got light
That's something like it ?" continued Mr.
Spoopendyke. Now hand me my panta-
looms"
"iou.won't 90 down where they are will
you'" anxloasly inquired Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, handing over the garment
Mr.. Spoopendyke youchsafed no reply.
bat donned the habiliments
Now, you open the door," said he "and
90 to the head Of the stairs and ask who's
there, while find my stick. Hurry up or
they'll get away"
"S'pose they are there What'll | do
them
Tell EN- I'm coming. Go ask EN-, will
ye2 What's the matter with YOU ?"
Mrs. Spoopcndyke opened the door
about an inch and squealed Who's there ?"
slammed the door again and popped into
bed.
"wha, ails yc'" demanded her husband.
What dye think YOU are, any way.
conical shot Get up, can't We. and look out
Where's nv biz stick ? What have YOU done
with II , Sent it away to school, haven't
ye' Go out and ask who's there, will We,
before they come up and slaughter us"
Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke approached
the door and TREMENDOUSLY demanded what
vas going on-thcre was no response, to
her incalculable relief, and she went to the
head Of the stairs.
See anybody" whispered Mr. Spoopen-
dyke looking over her shoulder
Who's there ?" squealed Mrs. Spoopcn-
dyke. Go right away. because my husband
j. here"
"Oh. you've done H." exclaimed Mr..
Spoopendykc as b.. hauled back into the
room. Now how dye spose I'm going to
catch EN-? What do YOU want to scare EN-
away for' Whatd YOU say ANYTHING about
me for' Think this il a nominating con-
ventlon2 What made YOU leave the house
open? Come on down with me, and I'll
show you how TO lock up"
Down they went, and a careful scrutiny
demonstrated that everything was fast.
Il don't believe there was ANYBODY there"
said Mrs. Spoopendyke, as they returned to
their chamber.
1T wasn't Your fault" retorted Mr..
Spoopendyke. IF you'd got up when | told
YOU, and Kept your mouth shut, we'd have
got en-"
But YOU said for me-