Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-03-31

jim Grant, Notwithstanding his Saxon
name, is full-fledged celestial, minus a
pigtail. How he lost the appendage forms
quite story. Jim is in the laundry busi
ness in Williamsburg. and among his pat
rons is the Widow Bridget McCracken.
IN arrangement existed between the wi
dow and the Cinnamon, by the terms Of
which she was TO do his cooking and tidy
ing up around the kitchen and he was to
wash and iron her clothing. How they
kept their agreement was best told by them
selves in Justice kennas Court, Williams
burg, where the widow was arraigned ON a
charge of assault. made by the celestial.
"After the first week" said the China
man, in pigeon English, 50 often attemp-
ted TO be described "Mrs. Mnrphee
gave NEE wholee lots of clothes TO 'wsshee'
and 'ironee, more clothes than her own
and her familees'. She brought ciothre
from her 'sistee, cousin and aun,ee.
Laughter | say to her noec fairee bargain,
and she tells NEE yes, she suee NEE If
don't wantce law, and | said 10 meself, Il
fixee you | give her things 10 cookee and
she don't cookee him.
''Yes, YOU dirty baste.' interrupted Mrs.
b NtL elNC SlA CE
ought to be driven to where yez come
FROM" [T.aughter, which was instantly
suppressed
The Court instructed Mrs. Murphy to
keep quiet while jim was telling his story.
''She letee the niece niece burnee,' re-
sumed jim, ''and l says to her, "Noee
bargin, Mrs. Murphee, you burDee my din
ner.' She say she would likee to burnee
NEE in stovee with the niece. tellee her
noee bargin, and she keepee sistee, c)u-
since, and auntee clothes, and | doee my
cookee. She then runee at nee with big
knifee and cuttee off my hairee. Lookee.
Judge" (Jim called attention to his scalp,
which lacked the tail). ''She then throwee
mice on street and breakee things. She
awful woman, judge, and says she kill
mee."
Mrs. Murphy, what have You to say in
answer 10 what Jim says about you:'
81 gave him no clothes to wash, Judge,
but my own fanily's.'
''iour family must be pretty large, ac-
cording to the Chinaman's statementi''
NO, Ju'lge, that's not the trouble; but
when the nasty beast found that l wasn't
the kind of woman he took me for, he
wanted TO break his bargain, and gave me
mice 10 c,ane and roast. | threw them in
his face, and said to clane them himself He
did so, and put them in the oven. They
tuAk the place while they was IN the oven,
and got them and threw them out, and /
am only sorry that didn't throw the nasty
basic himself after them"
''But how about assaulting him aud cut
ing off his pig;all?' quevied the court.
I'm coming ;othat, replied the widow.
after threw out the mice he picked them
up and brought them in, and began TO eat
them. That was more than | could stand;
so asked for my clothes and said | wanted
no more of the bargain. He said he would
no, give NE the clothes until paid for
them with kisses if not money. Laughter
He then put his arms around me and tried
/ TO kiss me-.
'.Noee, noee. only triec to keepec her
fromee nice clothes, aud put NEE srmee
aboutee her
''oh, yez are cunning and sly enough.
you lying Chinaman, exclaimed Mrs.
Murphy, indignantly
"Tell us about the assault, Mrs. Mur-
ply" commanded the court.
"When he tried to kiss me | got my
bloSl up. He caught ME by The hair, and
| got his pigtail in me hand and cut it oil
and threw it in the street. i only did it in
self-defense."
Roars of laughter followed Mrs Murphy
last remark.
lie certainly cbuld not have struck you
with the pigail, said the court.
'.No, but the baste had no use for it.
''Did hs succeed in kissing you:''
"No, Judge.
"Mrs. Murphy, you must give bail in the
sum of one hundred dollars to keep the
peace fcr six months, said the court.