The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-08-14
VARIETY.


a strawberry festival is where dozen straw
peries get into half q cup of thin milk and ap-
ccar to have 4 jolly time.
No, dear, Cleopatra's needle is of no use for
cz1ctieal purposes. It hasn't got single eye in
;a head
Nations can better win success by noble deeds
IN by cruel destruction Of human life for self
aims.
1he of adversely may possibly be very
1teet, and yet no one wishes to find out what
~ are.
if boy doser't 20 to school and learn how to
s1ed he won't peruse dime novels and develOpe an
<Rbiti0n to be pirate
Duty is the voice os God, and a man is neither
rprtby Of good home here OF a heaven. thft 10
rer willing 20 be in peril for good cause
Mankind thfrsts hundred-foId more for
Fealth than he will ever hunger after righteous
ness.
The most afflicted part of house is the win
iDw. IL Is always fall Of panes and who has
nbt seen more than one window blind?
Apothecary. You want this prescription
t1ed. sir, | understand? p Patrick. '' Devil
tR Of it, surrl It's the bottle I wud have
<ned"
There said a charming lady, with naive
sxpressiOn that made her face radiant, pointing
90 an ebony case Of china ware, a. that is my
trick-bat cabinet"
wealthy manufacturer OF Connecticut hav-
"a built an elegant mansion and wishing to take
second wife, said 10 his architect - Which
s<rees best with brick and brown stone. bru-
rktte or blonde -
bride of month went to a married lady OF
1.hrter Of a wear and said 50 My darling says
I'd women are fools'' ss Never mind" said
- other, .. be is only studying nouns Wait
be reaches the adjectives
M. Grevy, President Of the French Republic,
tas Just given 20 his daughter Judlcious present
10 the shape Of large and handsome house,
1hich, being rented in separate flats, brings her
an excellent income
Kate Field used to say that every man was 4
<Dntleman ut least in name, the same as every
roman was a lady, but New York lOafer cured
1er Of this idea She now groups manklnd as
|. gentlemen. - men" and - Scallawags
. The two ladies who expect to become En-
presses of Germany are both named Victoria
Fiesoria of Schloswig- -HoIstein, who will sue
BED Vicsoria, Princess Royal of England, and
Grown Princess Of Germany is dignifed and en-
raging, but not particularly pretty She is an
ztreneIy learned yOung lady
Pat: a. Well, Dan, and have ye heard that
Rorry the MIller's dead?" Dan: '' Rory the
= II he that's dead now ?'' Jabers, but
ve don't saw so, and he was n young man, too p
pat. - Faith, an that's threw for ye- Dan
BE was such a young man. now, that expected
10 see him at my own funeral instead OF my going
b his.
A curious coincidence has been noticed IN
fondon where three men, well known in fnan-
,iaI and soeiaI circles,-Lionel Lawson, NJ. j.
Pooso. and Julius Beer, all Of enormous fortune
and all great friends,-died suddenly within a
,uace of Iittle more than six months More odd
,tiIl Il IL that each of the three possessed a
corner house on the left-hand side OF Portland
Place. each corner in succession to the other
HGrPeT's Weekly
The wear 1881 will be q mathematical cnTiosl-
". From left to right and from right to left 1t
,eads the same eighteen divided oy two gives
zine as a quotient. If 1881 is divided by 2O9,
,ine "a the auotient, If divided by nine the quo
ient contains a nine and if multiplied by nine
he nroduck contains two Mines One and eight
IRE nine. eight and one are nine Ii the eight
.en be placed under the eighty-One, and added,
he sum is ninety-nine. II the figures be added
hus, one, eight. eight. One IL will give eighteen
Reading from left to right is eighteen, and eigh-
cen Is two-ninths of eiehty-one. By adding,
dividing. and multiplying, nineteen mines are
,yodneed, being one nine for each year required
o t>onplets the century.
Al ASEcDoTE OF ARTHUR.-Wh hen Billy Will
on Vas raising his notorious Zouave regiment OF
ou1bs durSng the war, the members composing
I were acting very badly in New York, and Gov
Morgan ordered Gen. Arthur, who was quarter
nasser-gensraI, to stop their misconduct. Ar
hur summoned Billy TO his office. Ihe desplsa-
10 responsively swaggered in. wearing his uni
orm as a colonel, and listened cOntemptuOusly 70
The warning that Arthur gave him. At length
be insolentIY retorted '' Neither you nor the
Governor has anything to do with me, for I'm
Colonel in the United States se-Ti - Hm, and
you've gos no right 10 order me - hur in-
iosned him ne vas not Colonel yet - %1use his
regiment wss not fun, and no Coz nission bad
cen sssaed. - Wsh I've got ny shoulder
tlr-l dor Ike ~ 5-fe-s f-r ~ itr
Is 3ast RI bo- tl-s e. -
e-Fe ~sfg H.esa -ierl y.-r
-eeE ssraps. ne cried. as be ssizao iae -Ieo-
lat tore CT bis strnpe threw I'm into al