Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-02-20
Swedish RAILWAYS.


others, like our own, are private under
takings, for the benefit of the share
holders. In either case the motto
"aow and sure" seems that adopted by
the management, The trains are al
ways slow, and generally sure to be be-
hind time at the terminus. In either
case, moreover, the arrangement Of the
trains seems specially adapted to the;
public Inconvenience The timetables
appear to be constructed on the plan OF
disseminating the traveller as much a.
it is possible, and giving him the fullest
chance to exercise his patience. As a
rule, he has the option of a couple Of
trains day, and must be thankful for
the privilege. He may take, soy an ex-
press, which starts at a. M, to carry
him halfway, with the chance OF his
just missing train that may con
vey him the remainder of his jour-
ney; or he may elect to wait
till somewhat later in the day, when
through train is provided, which
will go at a snaiPs pace, and land him
at his destination about midnight. If
he wants to catch q steamboat, which
nominally plies in conjunction with the
railroad, his fate may be far worse, and
day or two may pass ere the transit be
completed. Seen simply on the map,
and studied in the timetables, the
journey may seem facile and feasible
enough; but when put in execution the
plans which have been formed with an
infnitude of trouble may prove Of little
profit. Obstacles start up at every stage
along the route. Trains are so delayed
that they fail to fit in as they are an
nounced; rattle-trap vehicle breaks
down upon the road between the rail
way and the boat; or some ingenious
misprint is discovered, when too late,
which is fatal to the hope of accomplish
ing the journey within the. time ap-
pointed. Grumblers, who growli over
the bewilderments of Bradshaw, should
set themselves the task of working out
the problem: of asshort cross-country
l.lp by the figures which are furnished
in the Sveriges communications !;
the travellers who complain when the
tidal train from Parisis some five min
utes late should learn to exercise their
patience by little tour in Sweden
Good Words.;' ;, ..'c1"'.f.'. ~, :
For Young Men at Church Fairs.
The following bits Of advice, culled
from the leading magazines of the day,
are intended for the eye of the young
men who attend church fairs: Be
pleasant, and smiling, and cheerful.
When they offer you the seductive bowl
Of oyster soup, bend over it, afect.to
examine it critically, smell it, then rise
up, shake your head sadly, and with a
sweet, suggestive smile, say, No, thank
you, I guess not" This adds greatly to
the happiness of the silver-haired, moth
erly old lady who made the soup. !:
Lie boldly to the first girl who wants
you to take q chance in the parsonage
cake. Tell her. that you have already
two chances. This will make it easier
for the next lie. Then, when she looks
over her list and says she can't find your
name, tell her you bought your chances
of the other young lady. Then, when
she says she is the, only person selling
chances in this cake, tell her then it
must have been in the other cake. Then,
when she says this is the only cake they
are rafting on brace up, look her right
in the eye. and tell her, q o yes, You
remember now-it must have been in the
cake last year." :. She can't deny this,
and you can look triumphant. But re-
member, my son, if you start thing OF
this kind you will have to keep it up.
If you pick up any pretty little arti-
Gle on the fancy tables ask the price OF
the same. and, when you are told, drop
it from your nerveless fingers, and, as il
falls upon the floor, exclaim, it tones Of
amazement, aWell, I am -, and
leave the audience to imagine what you
are. This never fails TO- please the
young lady who has charge of tina,
table. She will mention you to he,
friends. GIL : 5s-..zz jail III e
Affect pleasant, but natural and I'M
disguised, horror of the tides, and des,
| ignate the worsted work as atstufft.'
Wonderwhat elambreq uins are for, and
laugh short, explosive, sardonic laugh
when the ladies tell You. # some CIR
has sent water-color or oil painting o.
her own to the fair, affect to mistake
the road for river, and wonder why
people are driving along the top Of the
water IN q wagon. Also, try to spell
out the name Of hotel on the elm tree
in the foreground, affecting to mistake il
for an old-fashioned swinging country
inn sign. Netc Orleans Times. s28