The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-05-04
Lying as q Fine Art.

lSuob HiSHn NJ. oOoCPu "uihuttHli
the Great American Lia!, called at
the CouRIER-JoURNAb office, with All
oil-well story IN one hard and large
addition OF the ninth commandment
Ia the other, but he was spotted by
The truthful pen-pusher, whose duty
II is TO kill spring poets. and made
to confess that the oil story was q
myth. lie then started to leave, but
was corncred behind a door and
made to give confidential interview
of lying as fine art, and Of lies and
liars as he know them.
You have had much experience In
lying, Mr.. Mulhattan, began the re-
porter. | wish to know what con.
stitutes a good, thorough lie.
That, sir, Is very difficult question
TO answer, said the oracle OF fiction.
Why newspaper man should ask II.
except in in joke, ia what astonishes
me. But will conflde IN you frank
ly, that In my opinion good oil
well story or a good, large-sized cave
story constitutes a beau ideal life, and
when well told is one that All artistic
liar will troll as n sweet morsel under
his tongue"
What characteristics 20 to make up
thorough liar, say, for instance, like
yOurselff
There are very few thorough liars,
my friend, although everybody dab
bles In the profession to some extent.
The first characteristic for a good
liar Is that he must be thoroughbred,
he must be descendant of the great
Annanias; 1t will not do as many
suppose to simply form close allI-
ance with "the father of lies" In the
second place, the individual must
have strong will power aud persist
ence 10 stick to his widest romance
without change of cOuntenance. A
good practice for yOung man In
this regard is to relate the sea.serpent
yarn and stick to il before q nnmber
Of old river men II he can do this
well he may be trusted with n case Of
samples and sent out on the road.
Don't you believe that man who
is a successful liar has great ad-
vantage over the generality Of man
kind2
Most certainly do. Lying Is an
essential part OF the education OF
youth, and thorough study of it as
been too much neglected in this coun-
try. This accounts In great meas
ure for the immense number OF bad
liars that we have-liars who can not
tell plausible lie. In some business
1t is indispensable, that Of travelling
salesman, for instance, my own bus
mess, no man can succeed who ap-
proaches he truth In his statements.
have studied lying as q profession
aud science, and while / am far
from perfection In the science, j
have gained considerable practice.
| have told more lies and sold out
moro newspapers than any living
man, and l AIN proud to state that |
am the only professional liar in the
world. | am SO constituted that |
could not enjoy living without lying,
and unless ! told good lie before
breakfast | would not enjoy my meal
/ wish to assure you, sir. that / ar
really high-toned liar, and have al
utter disgust for any man who Is {
liar and denies the charge. fan,
man calls me liar he is in no per.
sonal danger, but receivs my warm
est thanks tor the recognition.
| Lying, sir, Is science well worth
studying. and my only ambition is to
attain perfection in that line. know
| am very faulty and but a beginner
but my lies are of much higher or
der than many others. | think tina
have Just as much right to tell a nice
fresh lie as Scott or Dickens had Il
perpetrate their stale, old romances
Is It true that Barnum made you al
offer to stand ON box and relate th,
wonders OF side-show attraction.
No, II is not true: my abilities hav,
never been recognized at what they
were fully worth.
Are you lying now2
Mr.. Mulhattan dropped his vote,
TO whisper and answered: As be-
tween man and man never to ge
abroad that l tell the truth I am ~
After making this truthful confes
sion the great descendant of Annania
showed signs OF weakness, aud sool
broke away from his questioner, rush
Ing madly off IN search of door.
I