Cheyenne transporter. [volume] (Darlington, Indian Terr.) 1879-1886, 1880-12-10
MARK TWAlN'S APOLOGY.
Why he Could Not Accept an Invita-
ton to Dinner

tween the Catholics and the Protestants
of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, Miss Mary
Kyle, lady who had always taken
deep interest in religious matters, CON
ceived brilliant idea as to how these
differences between the denominations
could be amicably settled. Believing
that the only way by which this end
could be accomplished would be to have
the ministers and master minds of the
country assemble at large dinner, and
discuss at the same time religion and
victuals. Miss Mary issued invita-
tions to number of prominent men,
soliciting their aid in the further
.ance of her object, and asking their
presence at a dinner to be given
by her. Among others invited was
Mark Twain. The letter addressed to
the latter gentleman was long, covering
number of closely written pages, and
after giving history of the contest
which was being waged in religious
circles in that city, stated that the
writer had been favored with visions
and inspirations from heaven, by which
she was told that the only way to settle
the matter was in the manner proposed
by her. In answer, Mr.. Clemens sent
the following letter containing his re-
grets, and stating his reasons for not
being present:
FARMINGToN AVENUE, HARTFORD,
Conn, Feb 21st, 1SS0.-Well, Mary,
my friend, you must think / am slow
sort of correspondent, and the truth is,
| am. You must forgive this fault; it
is one which | have never been able to
correct. ! am pretty busy person,
and very lazy one; therefore L am
apt to let letters lie a long time before
| answer them. However, once a year,
on or about Washingtons birthday, !
rake together all the unanswered letters
and reply to them. Imeant to answer
the letter you sent me some weeks ago
but waited for Washington's birthday
to come. Write to me whenever you
feel like it, Mary, but don't you feel
hurt if keep you waiting till the next
Washingtoifs birthday for an answer
1 do not feel half SO much hurried wher
have year to answer a letter in as
do when people expect reply right
away. / only send money to peopl,
once a year, too, and that is on Wash
ington's birthday, SO you see if haC
answered you earlier | could not have
sent You the five dollars until now.
Take this check which enclose, anC
go to the bank with Mr.. Miller, and h,
will tell the banker you are the person
named on it, and will give you tn,
money, or if you choose, you can mai
the check (after writing your name OF
the back of it, to Alessrs. George II. Bis
sell & Co., Hartford, Conn, tellin.
them to send to you postal order, ant
they will send it by return mail.
think your idea Of getting those clel
.gymen together at. Il dinner table is
very good one. They will have to pu
up with each others society a goo'
long time in heaven, SO they may a
well begin to get used to it here. BE
sides, think, rs you said. that thei
coming together in friendly wa,
will have a good influence on other pee
pie. am much obliged to you for ask
ing me TO be present and carve tn
turkey, but ! must not 60. Away
when | carve a turkey | swear little
(All people swear to themselves-but
swear right out. never could help il
though it has cost me many a pang)
think "A person ought not to swea
where clergymen are, unless they pre-
woke him. Well, | couldn't be ther
anyway, because | have to stay a
home and stick close to my work, els
this nation would become so ignoran
in a little while that it would breal
lonrt 10 Iooly Of No UO,I IN,