New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-04-07
lmpr9l elnehts Il Getes.

Il
terests lacks romance and sentiment.
The unhappy lover whose mistress has
frowned on him, and expressed the
opinion that he is 8 tiresome nuisance,
never thinks of writing to the editor
of the Scientific Yankee or the Csensi-
cal Gazette for consolation and advice,
and no fortunate lover would dream Of
searching the columns of those jour
nails for hints as to the best method Of
convincing the old gentleman that the
clock-hands were turned back by the
cat, or that the gas turned itself down
to conveniently dim point. And yet
it is in the columns of q scientific jour
nal that there recently appeared a no
tice of an Improvement on gates"
patented by a Wisconsin person, which
consists in certain novel features of con-
struction, whereby the ..gate is adapt
ed for swinging in either direction, and
may be raised to clear Instructions"
It need hardly be pointed out that this
improvement was made in the sole in
terest of lovers, and that the scientific
journal in question was obviously actu-
ated by the noblest motives in giving
publicity to it.
It is IN our Western States that the
front gate has reached it's highest de-
velopment as an aid to courtship. As
is well known, there are two schools,
which differ radically in their, theory
of the true method Of using the gate.
The Concord school, of which Mr..
Ralph Waldo Emerson is the leader,
holds that both the young man and the
young. woman should lean on the same
side Of the gate-the inner side being
regarded as preferable. The Western
school, on the other hand, insists that
the young lady should lean on the in
side of the gate while her lover leans
on the outside. Though the Western
school lacks a leader of the fame and
experience of Mr.. Emerson, it has by
far the greater number of adherents,
and to the unprejudiced mind there can
: be but little doubt that its doctrine is
IL is easy to comprehend how the
front gate originally came into use. The
original pair Of lovers who first utilized
it had doubtless sought place where
they could enjoy privacy, and, at the
same time perceive, while yet afar of,
the unsympathetic father and the way.
faring small-boy. The locality of the
front gate, commanding as it does a
full view of the house from which the
father may emerge with his heartless
boot, and the public street, along which
the casual small-boy may wend his
whistling way, would naturally be Sc
lected even by lovers wholly without
engineering instincts. Experience soon
showed that the front gate possessed
other unequal strategic advantages. TO
the eyes Of the public the lover on the
outside of the gate always seemed to be
in the act of going away. When any
one except the avenging father drew
near, the lover would remark, swell,
as was saying. I must really go;'' and
then, when the Objectionable person
had passed on, the sweet sorrow of
prolonged parting could begin again
and last until the appearance Of an
elderly gentleman with club at the
front door seemed to point to the pro-
priety of an immediate and real parting.
Swinging on the gate IS the peculiar
privilege OF lovers who have gained the
appreciation of the parental authorities,
and who are filled with an ecstasy
which finds it's only satisfactory express
sion in the rhythmic motion of strong
and wide-swinging gate. The Wiscon-
sin Improvement, by means of which
the gate is made to swing in either d.
rection, of course doubles it's capacity,
and increases in the same proportion
the bliss Of its occupants. The other
improvement described by the scientific
journal as device for raising the gate
so as to clear obstructions-such as
wheelbarrows or an intoxicated father
~ also prove to be of very great
value. 1t is always awkward to climb
down from gate and to stand aside I'M
til the passing construction, whoever
he may be, has passed through it, and
the necessity of so doing at a moments
notice has in more than one instance re-
suited in disarrangement of the femi-
nine back-hair and the laceration of the
masculine hand by the ill-advised pin
with which thong htless waist-belts are
only too often fastened.
There is still room for further inn
provements in gates. For example,
gate with seats on either side, and
curved and upholstered rail in the place
of the rude unfeeling pickets now in
general use, would command enthusiasts
tic approval. Now that the scientific
press has taken the matter up,> we may
confidently look for wider and grand
er development Of the front gate, and
with it a corresponding increase in the
happiness of youth, and the frequency of
early marriages. r. Times.
o