The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1880-07-08
Boarding the Douglass.

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! In several numbers back of the BUI,
LETIN you announced that Gosh j,
preparing a lecture on whiting, the
| proceeds of which Is to be donated tc
the buying of material for the boys tc
TO white on" At the time I thought
I would raise" you for that paragraph.
but the thought occurred to me that
perhaps you were not the author of it,
that the devil, or some Of his imps
about the office was the real offender
and not wishing to raise that ubiqni
tOus parsonage, forbore for the time
Again, in your issue of the oath ult,
you print an ef'usion Of a lovc-sick
swain in Pocahontas, prefacing it with
the remark that you would turn him
over to the ''tender keeping of Uncle
Josh" Now this is positively the last
straw, and I won't stand it, I intend t.
"speak right out in meetin, yea, 1 in
tend to kick up, and if any body i,
throwed, why 1 don't care. And
would have the BULLETIN to know
that / am not an asylum for the insane,
and when it gets another such white
elephant as g x :: >; is on its hands
l want it to keep him.
My feelings are drawn to their ut.
most tension, and my sympathies are
ali enlisted in favor of poor little
"Nannie" with her ftwo tiny little
feet" o! tell me, is she alive yet? Il
she is, has she plenty of words like
pearls of the sea" and are they Gas
necessarily near" Now, how words
can be necessarily near, gets away
with me. 1 have heard of them being
hard, soft, precious, sweet, honiod etc.
etc, but this other quality y!
1 am sorry Mamie "hides her face
like a finished coquette" especially when
it is ''beaming with love" and can
not fully understand how Mamie can
be "a gay little pet" and at the same
time, be "shy as a timorous dove" 1
had thought that pets were not shy,
and if they were gay, they were not
timorous. 1 would 90 along way to see
''NIiss Mamie ;" for " x X x says
now don't criticise the number of this
verb, for it has a singular nominative
to all intents and purposes notwith-
standing its plurul form-she has
"budding red lips" Have mercy /!
then they'll bloom after awhile, and
of course will sorely tempt the evan
dering bee" But the bee is told to
take heed how he sips, for Mamie SIS
shy of kissing" now 1 do wonder if
g x X ever attempted to play
bee with those budding lips ?"
mamie" must be a sad little rogue,
for he tells us ''she is surprisingly def
at stealing all hearts i'll her way"
Does he mean that mamie, the dear
little pet" has a peculiar manner OF
stealing hearts, or that she gobbles up
all that cross her path? He Mt first is
of the impression that she has stolen
his heart, then in the next breath, he
had no doubt about it, and when it left,
it went with a ''throb, like n sigh"
This behavior of the heart is not or
thodox. Had it departed with a throb
and sigh Che giving the sigh) it would
have been more in accordance with
the time-hOnOred custom of hearts.
There is no doubt, Mr.. Editor, but
that he lost something, and it surely
was his brains, but your carelessness
made it read hearts.
[ propose now to settle with you in
regard to the whiting matter. l
found no fault with the subject, it was
the disposition of the proceeds of the
lecture that deferred me from fulfilling
my appointment. cannot, under any
circumstances, consent to aid in any
manner to increase the already large
band of loafers that spend the hours
not devoted to smoking, drinking, eat
ing and sleeping, in Ittering the side
walks. Nor would add another blan-
dishment to the post office and drug
stores whereby married men might be
induced to spend their Sundays there
instead of at home, or at church with
their wives. In your last issue you
inquired as to the attraction at these
Sunday resorts. l don't know but
suppose it to be empty coal oil cans
and Musk bottles.
In conclusion Mr.. Editor, allow me
to say that 1 cannot take your Poca-
hontas Poet into my keeping, he is too
far gone, no antisep will save him
he has gangrene of love. 1 suggest
that you request your love-sick CORES
pondents. hereafter to.pour their raw
ings into the ears of their lady loves
privately and not publish them to the
world and the rest of mankind in
newspaper. JOSH.