The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1880-06-26
Papa how many times have you told
ne never to do two things at q timeT'-

Papa how many times have you told
ne never to do two things at q timer
Exchange. Es :
The parsgrapher who labors six hours
ind half grinding out five original
oles, and then labels them s4dle Mo-
nents," has a keen appreciation Of hu-
ner.-EPuck. tsffstg
Putting it neatly. Said the little pet
If the household on her last birthday:
"It's lovely doll, dear grandpa and
grandma; but -Pve been hoping it
would be twins" .H -tI
'fIs that funeralT eShure, sir, Pm
thinking it is" "Anybody Of distinc-
tionp 81 reckon it is, sir" "Who is
it that diedp "The jintleman in the
coffin, sir."-[Inter Ocean.
Mr.. Waterman, of Duluth, was so ex-'
asperated by cern that he took a care
full aim with pistol and shot bullet
through it. The corn disappeared, and
so did large portion of the toe.-[Syra-
cuse Herald.
Mary Beane deemed herself neglected
by her lover at Denver. and shot the
man with whom she found him playing,
cards when he ought to have been visit
ing her. This shows the wickedness of
playing cards. Boston Post.
Her mother said the little creature
lived on love, but one month after mar
riage, when the grocery bill came in, he
saw that he had made the greatest over
sight of his life by not ascertaining what
that particular love was for Oswego
Herald. 4 .t. .ts ne
An old lady recently visiting prison
asked one Of the attendants why the
prisoners received such coarse food. Hel
told her it was to keep their blood from
becoming impure. And when asked
what they would do if their blood was
impure, he dryly responded. "Break
out" a .1.
1t was colored preacher who said to |
his flock, ave have a collection to make |
this morning, and for the glory of heaven
whichever Of you stole Mr.. Jones' tur-
keys don't put anything on the plate"
One who was there says: every blessed |
niggah in the church came down wild de |
rocks "-[Ciu. Saturday Night. |
, "Oh, yes, yes," the old gentleman said, |
rather dubiously, while Laura was tell |
ing him about TOMS ability and pros
poets; ooh, yes; good enough prospects, |
reckon, but he lacks energy; there's no |
get up about him; it takes him until |
o'clock in the morning to get started"
But she only murmured that it showed
he was ''laster," with great staying
qualities, and then the committee rose.
darlington Hawkeye.
Johnny was frantic to 20 to the cir
Gus, but papa urged school and study, |
holding out dazzling vision of the
White House as the ultimate reward of |
assiduity. But sad to say, with little
effect, for the graceless youth said
"Father, are there not about million of
boys in the United States~ 81 believe
so, my boy" "And hasn't every one
chance of being PresidentW "He has"
"Well, then, I'd sell out my chance for a |
circus ticket"
"The circus is coming" remarked Mrs. |
Goodington, laying down her paper,
"with no end of trained horses and cara |
mels, hypothenuses, and other bedizens
of the forest and jungle. How we'll /
remember the first time Daniel took me
to the circusl AS we entered the tainted
inclosure said to him, 'How terribly
the wild animalcules growl, don't theyT
was eenamost frightened to death until
Daniel told me it was only the vendoos
of peanuts and prize packages nlying
their rogation. - Boston Transcript.