Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1880-12-03
SLIGHTLY MINED.
How Two Political Speakers cot lnto
The Wrong Meetings.
San FrNnCiSl,r rns

The following good Joke, in which a
worthy member of the har, Judge r.,
figures, is worthy Of space, II is u tale
of Watts tract, suburb Of Oakland,
ct political meetings and enraScd an.
dlcnceS. The political cauldrun of
Watts tract had for weeks been boil.
ing over. Meetings had been held
nightly, and the hest OF local speakers
had tried e cnlightcu the Intelligent
people ofthc tract The success ot the
democrats and republicans alike was
so dubious that both parties hv n
singular coincidence. resolved To hold
grand ma>S.mccting, appointing the
same evening, and both parties called
on the state central committee for nm
orator.
The meetings We're set for WedneS.
day evening last, Al nm early hour
that evening Judge +. who had consent
od to speak At the tract boarded u
ferry steamer, and did also noted
republican orator The Judge had been
cautioned lay the democratic committee
70 draw II mild rs the republicans Of
the tract We're weakening, and ifthcir
party was not abused too much they
could I've won OVER. The republican
orator had also boon waraed that the
party over there needed hracing up,
and that democracy must hc lcnounc-
h III unmcasurcd terms. Watts
tract was reached i'll due time and the
politicians separated, the republican 10
seek his partys gathering and Judge
+, to find the democratic wivwnm.
This was, ms he supposed soon found.
Tho hall WAS blazing with lights, while
IN front houtircs yhrci, and n band of
music aided in making the night
hdcous. In walked Judge t., intro
duccd himself rs the speaker from the
state central committee, and was in
turn presented to this audience rs the
orator OF the evening.
After the applause had sulwidcd,
Judge L cleared his voice and began.
He spoke not too ahusively of "thc in
famous course of the republicans, and
finally rounded n sentence withn grand
pCroration to the democracy. Tn on
he paused for breath aud for applause,
But oh, amazemcut, There was not
the slightest expression of satisfaction
not II single cheer ms heard, In
stead, dozen auditors arose, pulled up
their coat collars, put on their hats and
left. Again and again did the Judge
attempt 10 fire the hearts of those be-
fore him. and ON each occasion did
small groups get up and mcandcr sad-
ly and silently ont of the hill. Finally,
with but II handful Of spectators before
him, he closed the most dscuumginy
effort Of his life with u scathing donun-
citation of the republicans, and nm APP
peal to all la JOIN the democracy, The
effect of this, although magical, was far
different from that expected TIP rose
the remnant of the audience and
swarmcd upon the platform with ndg-
nant faces, while the chairman, with
lll-concealcd contempt and in snccring
tones, demanded Of the speaker if lac
had ever spoken in san Fnncisco?'
ooh, yes, very often wns the re-
Spouse Of the wondering Judge. why
do you ask 2" And hnvc YOU express.
cd the same opinions given this even.
ing 2" slcs, Sir" again responded the
orator. And were they well received p
always; but look here, what's the
meaning of this - demanded the
judge. Meaning! The meaning is
TINT III the opinion Of us republicans,
you republicans over tho bny have
got the--polilics that We over heard
of" Mo II republican, fairly yelled
the Judge; and then realizing for the
first time that he had made II mistake,
and had been addressing n republican
gathering, the eloquent orator seized
his hat, and, without waiting to explain
matters, made for the depot. Here the
rntc and Tuning orator encountered his
republican lend but h,what contrast
the tigu a befor which looked NJ
if it had been run throughn quartz mill
present To the northumberland ing
orator Of I'm hour before His story
was 4 pitiful one.
Yon see, Judge, said he, when
left you found my way to what sup
posed WIS republican meeting. wns
introduced and mounted the platform
and opened up by pouring broadsidc
into the ulterrliicd democracy and the
solid south did not notice signs oil
the gathering storm III tho faces bcfor,
me, Or | might have saved myself
When ! finished my opening burst oi
eloqucnce shout arose from hun
dred throats, and there was rush foi
the platform, and wk seized by Il
dozen men, the window was thrown up
and felt myscfshot out into the mir
and knew nothing more until cam,
TO il the branches Of tall oak, int
which had tremendously fallen. Talk
about the turbulent democracy and the
quarlsome workingmen; NIL have Il
say IL this, judge That them Watt,
tract republicans beat them ALL "
The judge softly smiled winkcd e
himself and then hypocritically Offered
coincidence, but very wisely kept hi,
counsel.
| - . -
The City Of Rio DE JancirO.