Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-05-07
"HaWkeYe Chances.

| POAo61sPu saAAou AtboII 10
death.
Men who drink usually suck seed
cardamom seed.
The New York Herald speaks of q
respectable forger."
The Steubenville Herald says that
tho musical age is the opera.
st. Patrick, says the Philadelphia
Chronicle.Herald, was March-er.
You cannot be any better than God
.as made you. but you may be worse.
At the Westminster police court,
London. recently, parrot was allowed
to give evidence.
The Chicago Journal says that March
weather consists of the odds and ends
of all other months.
The Elmira Advertiser says that self
made men are usually more thoroughly
made than other men.
No more dogs or other pet animals
are to be allowed buried at Greenwood,
the Brooklyn cemetery.
Among "the rules for Lent" we
find this: "Please return as soon as
read. "-NorristOwn heraid.
The Philadelphia Century Club is a
womans cooking school. How does its
New York namesake like it?
The Philadelphia Bulletin has been
informed that the starch manufacturers
are going to stitfen the market.
First it was frewater, and now, il is
alleged. the post.tralers have begun to
SUPPLY Indians with the block puz-
Z!e.
Boston girls are all learning to play
the violin, an the young men are more
anxious than o. or to follow Greeley's
advice. They don't like scrapes of that
kind.
We cant repress sob of sympathy
for the Irishman who said that he ran
away from his father the very minute
he discovered that he was only his
uncle.
A little girl went into drug store
the other day and said to the proprie-
tor III u half whisper, " Ii little girl
haint got 20 money, how much chew
ing gum do you give for nothing"
This Is the way the married editor
sums up Lent: 1.-The hen which lays
the Easter egg is great bird, but
it takes the goose which lays the gold
en- egg to bring Easter bonnets. -
Rochester Democrat.
elf we are to live after death why
don't we have some certain knowledge
of it?' said u skeptic to clergyman.
"Why don't you have some knowl-
edge of this world before you coGae
into it? Was the caustic reply.
The poet Tennyson is worth one
million dollars, and We don't see what
use there was in his writing "Come
not when am dead" They'll be on
hand, every one of them, when the
will is opencd.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Patti is singing songs at private
houses in Paris, where ballets danced
by bellies of the fashionable world are
given in Lent. She sings as each
corps dc ballet comes in, and after do
inS SO receives the triiling sum of So
OOt' song.
A Louisville woman accidentally
fired pistol, and tue ball went tear.
ing through her husbands arm, and
lie yelled "Durn ye, old woman,
you've spoiled four packs of keerds 10y
yer carelessness.' Aud then he went
for bandage.
The family of the Chinese professor
IN Cambridge occupy the attic Of the
house, while the servants sleep down
stairs. According to the Chinese no.
tions of rank, the master and mistress
of the house must not occupy sleeping
rooms below the servants.
When Mrs. Belva Lockwood, the
Washington lawyer, asks u Judge for
II private interview, the latter, before
granting the request, makes her sign
n paper declaring she won't attempt to
come any leap year tricks over him.
Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
A fellow stopped at hotel IN Lead
vile and the landlord charged him
seven dollars day for five days.
Didn't you raake mistaken" "No,"
said the landlord. Yes, you did; you
thought you got all the money had,
but you are mistaken. l have whole
purse full in another pocket"
These days no one is safe from the
charge of plagiarism. Brown went to
church last Sunday thing unusual
and upon being asked his opinion of
the clergyman, said, "Oh, his sermon
was very good; but that prayer, be-
ginning with Our Father 1 think he
stole entire. 1 know 1 have heard
something somewhere that it was
strangely like. boston Transcript.
A carpenter who. was always prog
nosticating evil to himself was one day
upon the roof of five story building
upon which rain had fallen. The roof
being slippery he lost his footing, and
US he was descending towards the caves
he exclaimed, "Just as l told you II
Catching, however, III an iron spout,
he kicked off his shoes and regained
place of safety, when he thus delivered
himself, II knowed it; there's o pair
of shoes gone r
Albany girls stand no fooling. One
of them was to have been married
day or two since, and the girl was all
ready, the minister on hand, and the
feast spread. but still no bridegroom.