Dodge City times. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1876-1892, 1880-06-05
He makes his capture, as have said;

of no sort of use to himself or anybody
else; it is usually seven times bigger
than it ought to be; he hunts out the
awkwardest place to take hold of it; he
lifts it bodily up in the air by main
force. and starts-not toward home, but
in the opposite direction; not calmly
and wisely, but with a frantic haste
which is wasteful of his strength; he
fetches up against a pebble, and instead
of going around it, he climbs over It
backwards. dragging his booty after
him, tumbles down the other side,
Jumps up in passion, kicks the dust
off his clothes. moistens his hands,
grabs his property viciously, yanks it
this way, then that, shoves it ahead OF
him a moment. turns tail and Tugs 1t
after him another moment. gets madder
and madden, then presently HOSTS it
into the air and goes tearing away in
an entirely new direction; comes to a
weed: it never occurs to him to 90
around it. No; he must climb it, and
he does climb il. dragging his worthless
property to the top-vhich is as bright
a thing to do As it would be for me to
carry a sack of flour from Heidelberg to
Paris by way of Strasbury steeple; when
he gets up there he finds that that is not
the place; take a,cursory glance at the
scenery. and either climbs down again
or tumbles down. and starts off once
more-as usual. in a new direction
At the end of half an hour he fetches
up within six inches of the place he
started from. and lays his burden down.
Meantime he has been over all the
ground for two wards around. and climb
ed all the weeds and pebbles he came
across. Now he wipes the sweat from
his brow. strokes his limbs. and then
marches aimlessly off, in as violent a
hurry as ever He traverses good
deal Of zig-zag country, and by-and-by
stumbles on his same booty again. He
does not remember to have ever seen
| il before; he looks around to see which
is not the way home, grabs his bundle
and starts. He goes through the same
adventures he had before, finally stops
to rest. and friend comes along.
Evidently the friend remarks that 4 last
years grasshopper leg is a very noble
acquisition. and inquiries where he got
| it. Evidently the proprietor does not
remember exactly where he did get it,
but thinks he got it ''around here some
where" Evidently the friend contracts
to help him freight it home. Then,
with a judgment peculiarly antic
| (pun not intentionally, they take hold
of opposite ends of that grasshopper leg
and begin to tug with all their might
in opposite directions. Presently they
take rest, and confer together. They
decide that something is wrong, they
can't make out what. Then they go at
it again, Just as .Gfore. Same result
Mutual recriminationsfo follow. Evidently
each accuses the other of being an OBJ
structionist. They warm up. and the
dispute ends in n fight. They lock
themselves together and chew each
others Jaws for while; then they roll
and tumble on the ground till one loses
horn or a leg and has to haul off for
repairs. They make up and 90 to
work again in the same old insane
way. but the crippled ant is at disad-
vantage; tug as he may, the other one
drags off the booty and him at the end
Of it. Instead of giving up, he hangs
on and gets his shins bruised against
every obstruction that comes in the
way. By-and-by. when that grass
hopper leg has been dragged all over
the same old ground once more, it is
finally dumped at about the spot where
it originally lay. The two perspiring
ants inspect it thoughtfully and
decide that dried grasshopperlegs are
poor sort of property after all, and
then each starts off in different direc-
ton to see if he can't find an old nail
or something else that is heavy enough
to afford entertainment and at the same
time valueless enough to make an ant
want to own it.-Hdrk IoaiH's'' A
Tramp .ibroad."