The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-12-02
HUMOROUS.

HUMOROUS.
lie had been electioneerin9 some
time TOR = local Office, but seeing that
there was q con nsiderabls lack Of genu-
Inc enthusiasm among the su6regans.
~ determined 70 give the boys little
blow out. He went TO a prominent
grocery establishment, the proprietor
OF which II very public.spirjted man.
lie told the grocer, With great earnest.
ness; II am giving Jones md me
q lit, and thought I'd give you
chance 70 contribute q few Eallonss Of
that thrHe-d0llar.and.a-half whfskey.
! suppose you know that II we are 10
70 once more a happy and y united
people we must DO our duty" The
merchant replied that while he yielded
70 mono when 1t came TO making saerl-
d:. dess , for the good Of lhe oeuntrX.yet he
dM did Ing not think IT was good policy for
Jority for 30 nes anyhow; however,
II ho was paid, cash, IS so 4 gallon, no
would yield. "If this is the spirit that
animates the business mon Of Calves
ton, then q I've got to say Ia, that III
quit. II Indiana and Now York don't
20 right you arc TO blame for It; but
say $3 gallon for ten gallons Of the
Cowboys Delight, taking my noto for
the money, and It Is not too Ia 70 yet TO
""'' '"' "'""1'y'
HERE ts tho scientific explanation Of
tho sea serpent: Whales arc atrooiOus-
ly yoraoious, and frequently cat each
other, but IL sometimes happens that,
when approaching itg victim from be-
his ttoth 1' ,at "S."p.S oaaSt ~ sWnaioW W. nnosher
ia unahia 70 ~ '"sS e.sa"a =" ',iV ,n o.'' amu no
whs I" "nnos = ~"""Eo, ""T ,t.n.t aho.nel ,
dawn Nn' " anJ ~ "a" !. n"', "s1ohp'' W ku.P
s"rt NJ tnIny "n" an",innns i' """Hnt' Hn %mu Mls
thirtv whs2cs N""" "ro iastnnnn "nIl toy ."1nsy or
tow aud saIiSrs U sun"osn oStn 49,, e"Hoo1o. h Id
enormous sorn""t piH"" p"ranms .on vna ~ 20 one
nosod iho lenrth NJ ira a"a snr,an. 49, ~ ~
pended upon tho number OF drinks of
whisky previously taken by tho man
who saw 1t, didn't look 1T the matter
scientifically. But soionoe will plouso
further explain why tho serpent is al
ways described by thoso who 200 1t NJ
having u head and mane liko horse. ,
----'--'~-----~
The dermah papers toll this story In
ueach a meets - weeping ana Sob
p!nR Sio"a; says a, 'Why 90 you
Weop hooa'sG, says Is. aa II his
ioaIt wore pf"ak'GR, "Dcoauso no Ia
uoao-,tho powortui ana rioh bhr0n.'
but,' ropilsu a, 'Why 90 you ory SO
nMoh , nc was no relation or yoursP"
lhat,s Just what am cryin about" /"
howlou Is, moro, a1teoted thnn over.
--,-
sahool; 'With whnt remarkable
weapon olu sampson At ono time slay q
nHmber OF lhil!stlnesp' For a while
thgro WAS no answer, anu tho clergyman,
10 assist tho Ch1lurOn u littl0, COM
mts i.t1o' Mpp "pp'nH h'a jaw WIN tho up or
"yn"ts yn th,s ~ 9" wv n"tn s%to .''.H s"ythg,
ny" ~. ~, S''I S"'"A no tno"kn.,
u hnmr l",o" an"o"o'.H ,r,'P'o"' lho
'""''o''' ~ "e "ss M s.r.
A siX-yeRr.old boy, living nonr
bridgeport, was questioned by hls
school toaoher tho other day as to his
none.' But you must have somo name.
tnsist0u tho questiono"; "what
10 thoy call you around home P"
"thoy oall mo a genulno jao kAss," ro-
Piled tho little fellow with sincerity. {.
----~-----
AN old otty gentlomNn who roeently
travelled In Europo, said ho was ut u
dlnnor ono day In Paris, and while
telling II story was attacked with y
non no hnu ceased. Russian gentlo-
man az another table, named Philt-
ene"se", t"rnea aoout anu compliment