The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-12-23
CHRISTMAS HUMOR.

CHRISTMAS HUMOR.
THE muss that children are anxious to
get into-Christmus
As the Christmas tree is bent. so is
the youthful heart made glad.
CHRISTMAS is the anniversary Of dys-
pepsia's fowlest conspiracy against COM
fort.
HosE moro despised by little children
than the man who takes no stoclnn' Santa
Claus?
REMEMBER the barber, the bootblack
and the bartender Advice 70 Bach
elors
SoNn folks will hang up their stockings
Christmas eve, and some viii hang up
the bartender
THE man who takes unto himself wife
on Christmas eve will be sure to have
well-flled stockings.
IT is said that child born on Christ
mas will always hate turkey and goose,
and lean towards Goldfish and bacon.
THE small boy now puts in eight hours
q day hattening his nose against the
windows of confectionery aud toy stores.
as Kriss Kingle alive, paPsr'
The small boy said.
" Ahl yes, and kicking.'"
Said the fauiily's head
CHRISTMAS is rapidly coming this way,
and the young man with a No. 8 foot
will, as usual, be presented with pairot
No. 6 slippers.
LISTEN to the slegh-bells jinglei
See the merry snow-naks IS minglei
How II makes our llfe-bosd unglel
royal welcome 10 old KRIS CringleI
If you really desire TO perpetrate >
practical Joke upon your printer this
year Just send him the amount Of your
subscription ON Christmas.
WHAT time the holidays roll round,
The bad boy, still in frocks,
Led by the ear, 10 his ma draws near,
And gstteth his Christmas box.
CHANG up the baby's stockingw
shouts the Hackensack Repu6lica1. We
want it distinctly understood that wO
haven't any such appendages.
A YOUNG man who gave his girl S76
gold watch last Christmas, married her
during the summer, and now he thinks
the present was ''time" well spent.
Now comes the season when the young
man, on an eight dollar salary, bothers
his brains to raise the stamps to get his
girl twenty dollar holiday present. -
Kansas CITY Times.
CHRISTMAS falls on Saturday this year,
storm will likely break when tho young
sters wake up and find their stockings
filed with chunks OF coal.
THE morning dawns, and the house
hold 10 awalsOnod by the sound Of drum
and fife. But it is not war. It is nottno sum-
mons 10 go out and slaughter the ZuluB.
Nay, brethren, it is Christmas -lNetO
York Express.
'MANAlA," said the little ono, "do you
know what you are going 10 givo me for
Christmas?" "Why yes, !" said the moth
er, "of course / know" ''Well, for mer-
cy's sake, don't tell me, responded the
puss with great vehemence.
AS CHRISTMAS approaches, tho young
man who bas been toasting his toes, and
lounging on the best parlor sofa. begins
TO try and get up q quarrel with his
young girl so as TO escape bankrupting
himself on Christmas present.
Baltimore Every Saturday.
SHE thpped Ger the s'ushy crossing,
And The wind, that hercely 5low,
An inch or 10 Of her ankle
Exposed 20 tho public VioH.
The officer on the next corner
Was distinctly heard to say,
I" That's the incest thing iS stQtking
have seen this Christmas day"
sISo aye the merry mistletOe,
The merry, merry mistlotoe,
The merry, merry mistlstos,
Tine mistletOe bough"
Now comes Christmas TO remind US wo
NAV make our lives sublime, and depart
ing. leave bohind us scores OF Blippers,
numbered ''nine. "-Stfkit0dter Lumber
man. Slippers that perhaps another
who shall in your footsteps tread-a pre-
ferred and bigger brother-may wiAh
thew we're items" instead - Rome Sentt-
mel Slippers that perhaps a mother,
striving hard 10 make ends meet, will use
upon your wild young brother, because
he wont keep off the street
In Scotland, except among Catholics
and Church Of England people, Christ
mas is scarcely noticed. Other denomi-
nations who notice the season, defer the
reioicings TO Twelfth (old Christmasl day.
A Scotchman, who was asked how Christ
mas was spent in his country, replied;
''Hoot. ava, mon, we dinna mind tho
Yule-the Christmas ye ca il, mon. A
VIC mind is New Years Day; and then
every mon who can afford II gets drunk"
"OH. yes, wait till Christmas" snarled
the Youthful scion, that's always the
way' If want n new sled, wait till
Christmas; n pair Of skates, wait TIL
Christmas. / waited last year, end
didn't get sled OF skates either. Nothing
but a book with a red cover and little
baby card with verses onto II. Christ
mas Ia a fraud. Boys never get nothing
they want" and he mentally resolved
that he would writs 10 tlSe lVsident and
have him omit his Chiistmaj ProclAmA.:
ton this year. -