St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1880-12-25
Mry SORTS.

A ball struck little boy I'D Ie
last week. and the bawl inmed'aso's
came out of his month. 1
An old hatchelot suggests nat oiItns
be published under the head oi "e"
music.
4 hunter fired u bullet into the ar ~ u
see if 1t would come down ~ Ia I'D
svears by the sore spot on '''s '''''S'
that it did.
The Fall River Factory girl who hau
&l5O, 900 left her recently IS NON p.,
nounccd decidedly handsome, tloes'
that fact was never observed ocloie'
Because one is flowing tide and tue
other is a flying toad. The qucsti,ol
has cscaDed us at this mOincnt.-tAu"
drew's American Queen.
4 wicked husband put on his deceased
wifc's tombstone the following dc'es'"~
hle though suggestive dlstlch:
Here lies my wife !; here let mere ne
She's now at rest anu 10 am l.
He was u wicked boy who said SIS
ter Sails all the fashion now she wears
q horse belt round her waist; ana cH~
pect she'll soon havca saddle ana or''
die"
Young msu, Il diamond pin looks
really nice and glistens brightly, out
when four dollars week supports man
and pin both, ono or the other IS not
genuine.
A clerk in one of our canal street
stores who is somewhat smarter than
his EMPLOYER, was heard to remark the
other day ''Thank fortune, the boss
has stopped advertising Tor the season.
Now Wo will have % rest.
4 soldier was running off the field too
hastily, when the provost GUARD cried
Halt" Cant Wounded = No,
whats the matter 2" Pm scared and
want to 20 back to tho rear to rally
Il am great gum said tipscy prin"
ter, who had been on II spree fora week.
YES" said tho foreman, ''yon arc
great gun, and half cooked, and you can
consider yourself discharged" Well"
said the typo, then had better go ott.'
They we're walking by the seaside,
and he sighed and she sighed and she
was by his side. and he was by her side.
and they were both beside themselves,
beside being at the seaside, where she
sighed and he sighed.
It takes Ave gallons Of wliskey to cure
an elephants cold, and since this fact
came out, seven New York men have
can convince them that they are not
elephants suffering with colds.-( Boston
| Post.
! A transcendental preacher took for
bis text, Feed my lambs" AS he came
out of the church u plain old farmer
said to him That was q very good
text; but you placed the hay SO high in
the rack that the lambs couldn't reach
it nor the old sLeep either"
4 certain lawyer was compelled to
apologize in court With stately digni-
ty he rose in his place and said: "Iour
honor is right and ana wrong, as your
honor generally is" The Judge hardly
knew whether to feel happy or fine the
lawyer for contempt of court.
$50 you enjoyed your visit to tho
menagerie, did you ~ inquired young
Sillabub of his adorcd ones little sister.
camel there that screwed his mouth and
eyes around awfully, and sister said it
looked exactly rs you do when you are
rec!tlng poetry Mt the church social ables.n
Gilhooly got come up with yesterday.
He had bought a barrel of apples from
DeSmith's grocery, which did not give
satisfaction. Whats the reason" said
Gilhooly, Indignantly, that the further
down 60 into the apples, the worse
they get "Ihe reason for that is that
you didn't open the barrel at tho other
end. II you had only done that the ap-
pies would be getting better all the
time."-[The Nation.
A BOYS JoKE.-While n mnn was
dashng with all his might and main
down Hancock street, to catch train,
one day last eek, q gammin rushed to
him and shouted
"Hey, Mister, have you got pin %
II have, responded the man, coming
to sudden halt, and feeling under the
lapel of his vest.
"Well, then,' yelled tie boy, as he
jumped out Of the way, You had better
fasten your ears together behind your
head, so as you won't mash any swingin
signs with 'em.'
/ Boston brides are said by Philadel.
phia paper to chatter in bad French at
, the hotel tables when on tho wedding
tour. This is indeed good news. Anv
scheme that will result in making a
bride use some language not generally
. understood ought to be encouraged
< When the average citizen is obliged to
, sit calmly by and hear such remarks as
. "please pass inc the buttab, dahling,'
! and "Now, love, you'rc awfully mean
' if you don't let me have bite of youl
, biscuit" he feels o wild springing i'm.
pulse to hit somebody with q club, and
, the man in tho next seat would cheer,
! fully furnish the eclub.-tCapitoliap.