The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-04-21
APRIL q
VARIETIES.


Her actions grace in every move,
Her walk! oh heavens gait =
In fact Il creature made for love,
But, alas Her shoe was s
Man ought always to have some
thing that he prefers to life, other
wise life itself will appear tiresome
and void. ..
81 can't understand" said an inno-
cent mother, "why Mary Ann's
clothes smells so of tobacco smoke
every time she goes out to prayer
meeting, evenings.
No, George Augustus "trousseau'
is not the French for.trousers. 1t is
the French for more things than you
could learn the names of in a month.
Get married and you will know more
about it.
A man i'll Florida. who swallowed
an orange seed last fall has breath
so fragrant of orange blossoms this
spring, that-so he says-the ladies
are constantly teasing him for kisses.
Boise City Republican.
zone who is never busy can never
enjoy rest; for rest implies relief
from previous labor; and if our
whole time was spent in amusing
ourselves, we should find it more
wearisome than the hardest days
work.
AN old miser, who was notorious
for self: was one day asked
why he was SO thin. 81 do not know"
said the miser II have tried various
means for getting fatter, but without
success" "Have you tried victuals ?"
inquired friend.
Mamma-Well, Johnny, 1 shall for
give you this time, and it's very
pretty tor you to write letter to say
you're sorry. Johnny-Yes, ma ;
don't tear it up, please Mamma
Why not? Johnny-Because it will
do for the next time.
! Patrick and Biddy were engaged
And time set to be married;
| But Biddy fiirted, Pat got mad,
| And SO the plan mliscarried.
Then Biddy soothed her wounded heart
| And was to Michael wed;
| Michael fell down between the cars
| And home was carried dead.
"That was lucky scrape,r said Pat,
| ''For if I'd married Biddy
would have been in Michael'ss place.
| And she'd have been my wildly"
~"My boys" said a KIND Oil City
teacher, eff you would be president
of the United States you must be
good and studious." "Who wants
to be president ?" yelled out a young
|
be Butler Bill and shoot an Injun."
And the boys all chorused "Them's
Cur sentiments"
housekeeper to milkman: "My
friend, you put water in your milk"
ooh. no, l don't NAM" "But I am
sure you do" "Oh, no mann" "Now.
will you say solemnly that you do
not put water in your milk ~ "Well,
mann. we'll, [ must say that some
times I put some water in the can,
and put the milk in that, but never
put the water in the milk"
Two raw Highlanders, Donald and
Dugald, were walking along street
in st. Mungo, when they came to a
water cart. "Hi" shouted Dugald,
to the driver; ''hi you're losing all
your water!" Then Donald comes
in. ooh, Dugald, Dugald, dinna
show your ignorance. The water is
meant to keep boys from riding on
the back of the cart !"
A young gentleman somewhat
numerous in social circles took his
sister, wee miss. to see family the
other day in which he is a regular
caller. The little girl made herself
quite at home and exhibited great
tondness tor one OF the young ladies,
hugging her heartily. "How very
affectionate she is" said the lady of
the house. Eyes; just like her
brother" responded the young lady,
unthinkingly. Paterfamilias looked up
sternly over his spectacles, the young
gentleman blushed, ana there was
CONSERVATION in the family circle.
''Leap year gives young ladies a
gentleman's privileges, in making
love" Perhaps it does. But no re.
spectacle young man, says Western
journal, will have anything to do
with a young lady who takes po-
sition on the street corner and winks
at the gentlemen as they pass by.
Nor would it look we'll for a dozen
or more young ladies TO loaf around
the front of church an hour and
half on Sunday nights, sparring and
knocking one another's hats off, and
dancing tra-la la on the side walk
in order In kill lima until the conore-