Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-05-20
Sips Of Fun.

The clothing man who put it off
n Lost money on his collars,
= But he who advertised in time
Made 5000.
The difference betweena churcl
organist and catarrh is said to b.
that the one knows the stops ant
the other stops the nose.
II looked like a butterfly. i
| had wings. He chased it; he
: caught it; and sure enough il
was but a fly.
The ladies give as a reason fol
: marrying for money, that they
now seldom find anything else in
a man worth having. s
We don't think much of the
class of people who call them
selves spiritualists, but it is only
fair play to themto publish the
fact that Joe Cook says he is
not one.
/ A physician named Parsons
lectured in a down-East town
the other night, and was intro
duced to the audience as one of
the few Parsons who preach lit
tie and practice much. a.
81 wish / was worth 81, ,0OO,-
1000, said a gentleman. 'What
good would it do you, for you
don't spend your present in
come?" inquired a friend. "Oh,
/ could be economical on a larg-
er scale.'
! Detroit people object 10 the
custom of wearing mourning
for deceased friends. Their idea
of the proper method Of show
ing grief is to neglect their
work and go to circuses, TO try
i W
and get cheered up. reI rsa.....r
A patent medicine man, as an
advertising dodge, taught a par
rot kept in a hotel TO say "Takc
DIR. Jink's cough medicine, "but
| the previous education of the
depraved bird led it to add "and
go die,-ye!''
At recent Western funeral
the clergy man more pithily than
pleasantly began his address
with sour esteemed brother who
last Tuesday exchanged his
winter flannels on ii trcacherous
spring day for an April shroud
was" &c.
Certain of our exchanges adyo-
cate the leaving off what they
call superfuous titles, as "Mr." "
and esq. Why, brethren,
this will work great injury-to a
certain class. Take away what
is superfiuous and there will be
nothing left.
On the planet Jupiter one year
is nearly as long as twelve of our
years. BY the amount of time
some people in this world take
on their promissory notes, it is
evident that they labor under the
delusion that they are inhabi-
tants of Jupiter.
A San Francisco firm adyer-
tises as follows: "Having ta-
ken the proper steps TO protect
our goods from being initiated,
we hereby caution all parties
from purchasing OF selling the
same, as otherwise suit will be
entered against them."
Professor-"Which is the more
delicate of the sense? Sopho-
more-"Ihe touch" Professor
-"Prove it, Sophomore
"When you sit on tack. You
can't hear it; you can't see it;
you can't taste it; You can't
smell 1t; but it's there
A young lady surprised the
"gentlemanly clerk" at a dry
goods store by offering him fifty
cents in payment for a dollar
purchase. at amounts to a dol
lar, if you please" said the g. C.
'1 know it docs" was the an
swer, "but papa is only paying
fifty cents on the dollar now."
':My friends," said the politi-
cal speaker, with the burst of in
genouous eloquence, ~ will be
honest" There were a large
number of neighbors present, and
the terrific outburst of applause
which followed this remark en-
tirely upset the point which the
orator was about to introduce.
An article upon the human fig
ure says that "the proportions of
the figure are six times the length
of the feet" Coming genera
tions, when they shall excayate a
Chicago young lady's shoe, win
remark incontinentIy, "1here
were giants IN those days." and
mentally reconstruct race of
women ten feet tall.
at doesn't improve vegetables
to soak them in water" says an
exchange, and the New York
Express adds that ''it does inn
,,rova a man - Well. veg. some +