The Portland daily press., 1880-12-08
A Tow-Boat Catastrophe.
der to q Washington Club That Wished
to Take Him in Hand.
washington Letter to CHICAGO rimes.,

Washington Letter to Chicago Times.]
Several months ago there budded and
bloomed in this city an organization that called
itself national. 1t empted to shoot forth
branches, but the incipient idiocy of the parent
was such that propagation was a weak. and
lamentable failure. This association was
known as the Towpath Club, so named in hon.
or of the canal boy, Garfield, who was then a
candidate for the Presidency. This Towpath
Club, as local wit said, organized by electing
its members to all the positions in a canal boat
service except the mules. There was first
deckhand, second deckhand, first roustabout,
second roustabout, and other imaginative canal
hands. The Towpath Club was made up of
department clerks, who devised the towpath
idiocy as means Of prolonging their official
existence. For three months these clerks
have been absent from their work the greater
portion of the time, doing what they call doing
towpath work-this is, drinking cheap rum
and bowling servile speeches in little seven by
nine partisan gatherings, where not mothers
son of the spectators had a vote to be infiu-
enced.
The Towpathers had q badge made, the de-
sign of which is a canal boat, with helm harda-
port. under studding canvas Of mules full set,
bearing down upon the White House. The
canal boat in the design is large enough to take
the White House and all the departments into
its held. Thel ears of the mules are a close
copy OF the deckhand's, the worthy genius who
was first visited with the inspiration of devis-
ing the organization. The uniform Of the
Towpathers has been white cap with
straight visor, worn with q white oil cloth
cape. The edge of the cape was painted o
beautiful red. Under the cape and cap the
apparel of the average department. serf was
permitted, though second hand army uni
form was considered more desirable. A small
torch costing twenty-five cents retail completed
the picturesque makeup of the Towpathers.
Their appearance was grotesque enough to
make the real mules Of the t0wpath laugh
themselves into Mysteries. When Garfield
first visited Washington the Towpathers helped
at his reception, and, it is estimated, produced
about one-third of the hoarse shout OF welcome
that greeted him in front of the Riggs House.
This one act was the only official one approach
ing Importance performed by the Towpathers.
1t was noticed at the time that General Gar
field did not fall upon the bosom of any Of the
deckhands, and that he embraced none of the
roustabouts. He made no inquiries why the
mules were overlooked in this organization.
He merely treated the Towpathers as we'll Is
he did anybody else, and that was all there
was of it. aasse5F 7--s
When Gen. Garfield sent word here that he
was coming on q visit the Towpathers pro-
pOSou 10 tak0 MIN III manu-. me i0lOtS even
elected Garfield chief deckhand, and then
made ready for the old sailor of the raging
canawl. They planned a reception, in which
canal boat was to figure prominently. Then
came Chief Deckhand Garield's peremptory
declination of any public reception. 1t came
so curt and direct that If there had been any
mules in the organization their sensitive feel
ings would have been affronted. But yester-
day the Towpathers were enlightened. 1t is
safe to say the mission of this society is at an
end. After the vigorous setting down at Gen.
Garfeld's hands that they received, even a
mules perception is not needed to see that the
canal organization should be damned up now
and forever. Some Of the leading Towpathers
called upon Gen. Garfield in the name of the
society. These blooming, fresh water idiots
had cards specially printed for the occasion,
with the title in full of ''irst deckhand," etc.,
printed after each precious owners name.
One may imagine Gen. Garield's feelings
when he was called from his library by q SER
want with dozen of these cards. The recep-
ti0n he gave his friends was absolutely glacial
He curtly nodded to them standing. and not
asking them to sit down. One of the spokes-
men feebly tried to say that he was glad to see
that the Garfield canal boat was finally enter
ing the last lock, when Gen. Garfield shut him
off with such stern look that the speaker
choked in the middle of o word and almost
strangled. Gradually it began to dawn upon
the callers that they were not pleasant compan-
ions, and they crept silently away, hoping, as
they went, that they had not intruded. A first
deckhand summed up the reception BY answer,
"D-d cold" Gen. Garfield said afterward to
friend, that he had no patience with such
idiocy. He was not ashamed of his having
been a canal boy, neither was it matter OF
boasting, it was mere incident in his life, of
the least importance in shaping his after life.