The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1880-06-18
A DIsEasED NAT.

Probably The meaDest trick that MAS
ever played ou white man was played
last week IN this city, and the fact that
there is no vigilance COMMITTEES here IS
the only reason the perpetrators Of the
trick are alive. A business man had
just purchased new stiff hat, and be
went into saloon with half dozen
other friends to fit the hat on Ilis head
They all took beer, and passed the hat
around 40 all could see it. One Of the
meaness men that ever held county
Office wsnt to the bartender and had a
thin slice Of limberg cheese cut of, and
when the party were looking 1T the
frescocal ceiling through beer glasses,
this wicked person slipped the cheese
under the sweat leather Of the Isat,
aud the man put it on and walked out.
The man who owned the hat is one 0f
your nervous people, who is always
complaining Of being fick, aud who
feels ~ though some dreadful disease
was going TO take possession Of bin
and carry him of. He went hack 10
bis place Of business, took of bis hat
and laid IL on the table and proceeded
TO answer some letters. He thought
be detested smell, and when his part
ner asked him ii be didn't feel sick be
taid he believed be did. A clerk said
it was evident that somebody's feet
eeied washing. The man turned pale
and said be guessed he would 90 home
He met "a man on the sidewalk who
said the air was full of miasms, and in
the street ear man who sat next TO
him moved away to the end Of the car,
and asked him If be had just come
from Chicago. The man with the hat
said he had not, when The stranger said
they were having great deal Of small
pox there, and be guessed be wou'd get
out and walk, and he pulled the bell
and jumped Off The cold perspiration
broke out on the forehead Of the man
with the new hat, and he took il off to
wipe his forehead, when the whole
piece of cheese seemed to roll over and
breathe, and the inan got tie full bene-
lit of IL, aud he came near fainting
away. He got home, and his wife met
him and asked what was the matter
He said he believed modification had
set in, and she took one Whit, As b..
took off his hat. and said she should
think il bal. Where did you get into
il r she asked. Sect into itg' said
the man. s have not got ints any
thing. hut some deadly disease has got
hold Of me, and shall not live" She
told him if any disease that smelied
like that had got hold of him, and was
going to be chronic, she felt as though
he would he burden TO himself If he
lived very long. She got his clothes
of. soaked bis feet IN mustard water,
eadt}e tliuIt, aiii,,t the unndrtEI wotlsu
come in and get smell sf it. aud book
at each other with reproaehful glanees.
and go out and play. The man slept
and dreamed that a smallpox flag was
hung in front Of his hense, and that he
was riding in a butcher wagon To the
pest house.
The wife sent for doctor, and when
the man Of pills arrived she told kim
all about the case The dos-taF picked
up the patients new hat. tried it on,
and got a sniff. lie said the hst was
picked before it Was ripe. Then ih'-
doctor and the wife held post msrtrn,
examination Of the lrat, and found the
slice of limberg. Stew and short Nere
the prayers they said" They woke the
patient, aud to prepare his mind for the
revelation that was about to be made.
the doctor asked him if his worldly af,
fairs were in satisfactory condition.
lie gasI.ed and said they were. The
doctor asked him if he had made his
will. He said that he had not, bu;
that he wanted a lawyer sent for a
once. The doctor asked him IL he fell
as though he WAS prepared to shuttle of
rhe man said he had always tried 4
lead IA different life, aud had tried to bs
done 10y the same as he would do i
himself, hus that lie might have made
mistleal some way, aud he would like tt
have a minister sent for to take an ae
count of stock.
Then the doctor brought to the bed
side the hat, opened up the sweat linin;
and showed the dying man what it wa
E that smelled so, and told him that b,
! was as well as any man in the city
: The patient pincbed himself to see
, he was alive, and iumped ont Of. be-
. and called for his revolver, and the doc
, tor couldn't keep up with him ou hi
! way down. The last we saw Of tn
lodorifsrous citizen he was trying t
Ebribe the bartender to tell him whicl
! one of those pclicansit was that pu
that slice of cheese in his hat lining
PseEs S9tn.