The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-06-05
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

Dead issues--Old newspapers.
good side show-A pretty check.
growing industry-Corn raising.
dangerous man-Onc who takes life cheer
fully,
Whitaker can now fold his ears like an Arat
and silently steal away
A Chicago girl tried to run away with base
ball catcher Her father became short stop
The weighs of the world. -Avoirdupois ant
Troy.-C Cincinnati C0mnerctH.
The plume on Blaine's helmet begins to bear /
close resemblance to a white feather.
soThe papers talk about civil engineers" said
old Mrs Briggs. II wonder why there amt ns
civil conductors"
Can a retired baggage master be properly re
ferred to as the company's exchecker?-h'o cox"
Gate city,
The best way is to hunt with gun that is not
loaded That is the kind that is always going of
and killing so hing.
.Tcehergs moved by wind and currents,
evplainsaNe ngland daily We always thought
they were dr. around by oxen.
The New Oik itIlh ucbClibto I'lhOi "a SUM o,
who figured 80 boldly in the Illinois Convention,
as q little man, with great deal OF bellows and
dictionary.
Mr. John Mccullough finds in the South a
keener appreciation Of Shakespeare than in the
North. The stalwart organs will be writing
Shakespeare down ~ rebel brigadicr' If this
story spreads.
Michigan delegate to the Chicago convention
said toa friend that he was filled with amazCmcnt
and his friend went down TO the bar and called
for amazcmcnt
Wisconsin professor has been digging up All
ancient mound and found it filled with empty
bottles. winch shows that there must have been
a Grant party thousands of years ago.
1t +, said birds sing their best songs at O'Clock
in the morning. That is the hour when men,
going home from committee meetings, sing their
worse
The Methodist conference has just re.allirmcd
It's action against the use OF tobacco. II will have
about as much influence vote would have
against eating apples with the skins on.
When young man says he is going to the
public garden TO see the tulips look at hin square
" in the eye aud ask suddenly, (Which two|
II takes 'em every time.
David Davis was wise not to let the politicians
make a candidate until he had built strong plat
form TO stand on He weighs $50 pounds,
Some ladies have such magnificent complex
ions that il really seems as il the manufacturers
OF cosmetics are entitled 10 more than passing
word Of praise Philadelphia Chronicle H6raid.
Can't blind the Boston Post. 1t says "WheI
Bret Harte developed propensity to lecture, h,
was at once appointed consul and sent 3,OoC
miles away. And yet some people maintain tina
our diplomatic service is Of no use 10 u.s."
The chronic fun makers live in Jolly.yet, Hi
nois-Nelo York Sun. SO? We thought II wal
lafayette Indiana YdncoJ Strauss. No! youar'
neither right; he is Nallejo-ker Of California
-Bloon,ingtoH Eye.
In a lengthy obituary notice Of prominen
Western man, the leading local paper makes thi
remarkable statement: 'The corpse was elegant
" oiad by direction OF his devoted wife, and hi
easEe. was made TO conform, as far possible
with the comforts he was won't TO surround him
self i'm the home he had left"
A temperance paper advises people to drn
spirtuous liquors only In such months as nav
w In them. The advice is no less timely tina
gratifying, as il eases up very unpleasant dout
Of many patriotic citizens in regard to certain i'm
portant iced drinks essential TO cheerful cele
bratisn Of the 4th Of Jewly.
A very fashionable lady who fairly dctes on he
children and is very particular about their toilet
had a narrow escape last SUNDAY from losing on