davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
An Interesting Puzzle.

Perhaps some of our readers are not
familiar with the following puzzle A
young man asked an old man for his
daughter in marriage. The answer
was:
"Go into the orchard and bring in q
parcel of apples. Give me one-half of
the whole number, and the mother one
half of the balance and half an apple
over, and the daughter one-half of the
remainder and half an apple over, and
have one left for yourself, without cut
ting the apple, and then, if she is will
ing, you can have her."
He solved the question; and how
many did he bring? Fourteen, as you
can easily prove. The old woman was
to have one-half of the balance, which
would be three and half, and half an
apple over, which would make four ap-
pies for her. There would be three
apples left, of which the daughter was
to have one-half and half an apple over,
which would give her two, and leave the
lover his own, without cutting the
apple"
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
An Astonished Flunkey.

Lord Redesdale, somewhat shabbily
dressed, as is his won't, recently went to
see the foreign minister. Knocking at
the door, he was received by the foot
man, who, without knowing who Lord
Redesdale was, informed him curtly that
Lord Granville was not home. "But
look 'ere," continued the hunkey, "just
run and get me q pint of 'arf and iarf,
will you ?"-producing q jug. Certain
ly," replied Lord Redesdale, and, taking
the jug, away he toddled for the beer.
Bringing it back, he handed it to the
foot9an, who first Of all took regular
quencher, and then Lord Redesdale,
politely declining the offer of drink,
quietly remarked: "Oh, by the by,
when your master comes in tell him that
the Earl Redesdale called to see himl"
You may imagine how the footman felt
at that sublime moment, and how Lord
Granville conveyed his displeasure to
him when, after hearing the anecdote
told amid roars Of laughter in every club
he went into, he arrived home and had
an opportunity Of hearing the flunkey's
explanation. a.iia
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
The Gain Of a Loss.

The following circumstance actually
occurred in Dublin a short time back
Mr. l. was much attached to Miss
c., the young, beautiful, and accom-
plished heiress to q property of some
G15, 900 per annum; but, being himself
lord of no other earthly possessions than
talents and good looks, he 'tnever told
his love-" fearful not only of refusal on
the part of the lady to reciprocate the
sentiment, but of the probable imputa-
ton of mercenary motives by her friends.
Miss c., however, had sufficient pene-
tration to discover the genuine and dis
interested affection of the swain, and the
highly praiseworthy sensitiveness which
caused him to shrink from its avowal.
She was by no means indisposed to en-
courage his suit, but the consciousness
of his comparative poverty rendered
more than the ordinary encouragement
given by lady to her suitor necessary
to stimulate his courage to PROFOUND the
decisive inquiry. How was she, then, to
give expression to her sentiments re-
garding him, without ut the same time
overstepping the bounds of "maiden
modesty." She proposed game at
cards.
"For what stakes shall we play?'
asked Mr.. L.
"There's my stake" said the lady,
throwing down soveieign; "if you win,
you win it-if win, win yourself I
am aware I have no chance of winning,
though, against 80 expert q player as
you"
Mr.. L was, indeed, about the best
player in Dublin, while his fair antagon-
list knew little or nothing of the game.
Strange to say, however, on this occasion
his luck deserted him. The poor gentle
man was so unfortunate as to lose both
the game and himself-and Uon the
heiress! Their marriage was celebrated
at st. st. Peters.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
Weather Signs.

There are certain weather signs that
are good deal to be relied upon. If at
night you observe q remarkable clear
ness Of the atmosphere near the horizon,
and an unusual brilhancy or twinkling of
the stars, it indicates unusual humidity
in the upper regions of the atmosphere,
and is therefore an indication of ap-
preaching rain. Dew and fogs are indi-
cations Of fine weather, and halos, CO.
rome, &C., indicate rain or snow. When
the outlines of cumulous clouds are sharp,
it indicates dry atmosphere, and, there-
fore, fne weather. A light scud driving
across hazy clouds indicates heavy wind
and rain. When the upper clouds move
in direction different from that of the
lower clouds, or that of the wind then
blowing, the wind will soon change
CHICAGO Times.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
Irish Criminal Statistics of q Year.

DIR. W. Nelson Hancock's bulky "Blue
Book, = giving the criminal and Judicial
statistics of Ireland for the year 1879 has
Just been published The indictable
offenses not determined summarily num-
Der 8,089, being l, 130 more than in 1878,
while in the latter year the number was
631 In excess of the number in 1877.
The last year in which there was a SINH
lar increase was 1862. The increase OF
1,120 was distributed over thirty-five
county and town districts, the most
marked increases being 228, in Dublin
City, 217 in the County of Galway, and
1914 in the County of Mayo On the
other hand, Kildare showed decrease
of 66, Cork East Riding 16, and Cavan
a The number of offenses determined
summarily WAS 255, $40, being decrease
of II, 8S9, of which decrease 8, 702 was
in punishable drunkenness-a result
which DIR. Hancock attributes to the
Sunday Closing Act The statement re-
lating to the Landed Estates Court shows
that there was fall in the average price
realized from eighteen and -tenths
years purchase in 1873 to seventeen and
seven-tenths in 1879. The average of
the five years ended in 1876 was 1914. OF
course, fewer sales were effected, and the
total amount of the purchase money was
only 9799, 600, as compared with 81, ,217,.
600 in 1873 There was 1,4S2 bills of
sale registered in 1879, as against 800 in
1878 and IA In 1876. The County
Court ejectment suits increased from
5,942 in 1877 to 7.501 in 1878 and 9,611
in 1879. The execution of the DEGREES
in these suits by the Sheriff increased
from 1896 in 1873 toe, ,676 in 1879. The
increase of ejectment suits in the High
Court of Justice was only in Con
naught and 20 in Ulster, while in Lein-
ster there was an increase of 169, and in
Munster al. As to other creditors, the
amount recovered by ordinary civil pro-
cesses increased from G109, 900 to $780,
S7O The number of such DEGREES exc
cuted was, 5,091, as against 81, ,678 in
1873. The gross total of ejectment pro-
ceedings increased from 2,517 to 8, ,526.
OF this increase of 1,009, no less than
92S were in ejcctments for nom payment
of rent. The amount of compensation
for disturbance granted in Ulster, where
non- payment of rent does not forfeit the
right to compensation, was G5, 900, being
only 949 less than in 1878, while for i'm
provements there was an actual increase
of e289. In the other three Provinces,
Notwithstanding the increase in the num-
Der of ejectments from 1,776 to 2,428,
the amount of compensation for i'm
provements granted showed decrease of
G1, 1914, or 40 per cent, while under the
head of compensation for disturbance
| there was falling off of co, 568, or As
| ger cent.-LOndOn NeaOs.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
COUNTRY ROAD-MAKING.
A Matter That Is Indifferently Under .
stood Everywhere.


tFrom the Hartford Courantl
It is matter of universal comment
with travellers that country road d-making
in the United States is either a lost art
or a to-be-acquired science. The aver
age selectman or road agent of a country
town is usually deplorably ignorant of
the first principles of making a good
road. Nothing will SO surely advance
the growth and well being of town as
well-made ard well-kept roads. No part
OF its domestic economy will more GER
tainly repay the outlay. Nothing more
bespeaks the intelligence and character
or public spirit of its citizens. In En-
gland and most of its dependencies the
roads are made directly by the state or
under its supervision. As result, the
contrast between English roads and
those OF this country is much infavor of
the former. A common and natural
mistake of most towns in this country is
that an intelligent farmer must neces-
sarily know how to make a good road,
but the reverse is the fact. Road
ing is subject requiring study and
knowledge of the nature of soils. not
often considered by any but engineers,
or those to whom such knowledge is a
life. A well-made road even in our
climate and with the wide differences in
soil Ingredients, will last for years,
whereas ordinarily the item of repairs on
our roads means an entirely changed
thoroughfare, the pitch, watersheds and
general character being more in
the wny of experiment. than q scientific
and practical renovation. The
country road-maker commences by
throwing out the "big stones" on to the
side of the road, retaining the smaller
ones, when by thoroughly "bedding"
the big stones the best possible founda-
ton is had and. with covering of
smaller stones mixed with gravel, or
even with good loan carefully narrowed
and soraped, road-bed is formed which
will defy both rains and heavy teams.
Generally the tyro devotes his time tc
heaping up the material in the center
with such slope as often to interfere
with locomotion, and which heap the
first heavy team resolves into deep ruts,
vitiating its usefulness for any but sim
ilarly heavy team, and for it only with
constantly-increasing strain on the
horses. Yankee ingenuity has invented
capital road-making tools, which need
but intelligent application to developing
such thoroughfares as would make them
admired. in place Of being reproach
and shame. Our country is rich enough
to place the roads in the hands of such
government as will insure their perfec-
ton, instead of leaving them to town
officials without the education or expert
ence necessary to an accomplishment ol
the object. Most of the roads east oi
the Connecticut river are sandy, and
this fact, together with the indifference
or ignorance of those in charge toward
improving their character, necessaril,
inpedes and retards the natural anc
growing tendency of city people fo,
building and living in the country.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25

"DoN'T get out Of anybody's way"
advised Henry Ward Beecher. But,
Mr.. Beecher, when you recognize your
landlord only half block away, and it
is three days past rent day, and there
are two cross streets, an alley and three
four-story stairways with rear exits
winking at you from the near side of the
street-are we-is man, that is, to go
straight ahead and collide with the land-
lord? Oh, nonsense what kind of talk
is that to give debt-laden people, with
money at 8 per cent, and your summer
clothes not paid forp
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25

The leading millionaires Of San Fran
cisco are assessed this year as follows:
Leland Stanford, $l9, 719, 900; Charles
Crocker, SIS, 1877, 900; Mrs. Mark Hop
kins, BIZ, ,211 800; J. W. Mackey & Co.,
SIC, $50, 900; J. Q. Flood h Co., $40, ,500,-
600; VIM. Sharon, "a, 470, 900; james
G. Fair. a, 22O, 900; J. G. Flood, S.
$50, ,0D; P. Donahue, 80, ,220, 900; N.
Luning, $3,170.OOo; Haggin& 4 Tevis, S.
600, ,000; Daniel Meyer. s., SOC, 900; Jas.
Phelan, 81, ,450, 900; Joseph MacDon-
ough and family, 81 ,669, 900; james NJ.
ttcDonald, 81, ,759, 900; Lloyd Tevis.
81 100000; James B. Hsggin, 81, 5Oo.-
600; ID, o, Mills. 81 SOC. 900: Louis Sloss,
81 ,400. 900; l.. L. Robinson, 81, at, ,0oO;
r. +. Morrow, 81, 200, 600; Robert Sher-
wood. 81, loo. 900; Chss. SpeOklss, ST..
600. 900.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
He Obeyed Orders,

It was just this side of Detroit that
man entered the car, took q seat, and
devoted his attention to the morning
paper. After time the conductor came
along and touched him gently on the
shoulder, but without effect. Again he
tapped the passenger on the arm, but
there was no response, and the official
had to speak.
"Ticket, sir ?"
The traveller looked YEARLY up from
his paper, and said:
"I haven't any ticket.
"Money, then, +" said the conductor.
81 haven't any money"
"You must get off at the next sta
tion." -
"I will," was the submissive re-
sponse, and the conductor passed along.
The train stopped at the next station,
started again. and was bowling along at
thirty miles an hour, when the conduc-
tor again came through, and saw the
traveller on the same seat as before.
81 told you to get out of this car, " he
said, somewhat sternly.
"You did"
"Why didn't you do it p
"And then got on again?"
"I did"
CHOW look here, my friend, I don't
want any more of this nonsense. Get
out of the car at the next station, and
stay out. You hear me y
Again the train stopped and again it
started, and again, but, in another car,
the conductor found the self-same tray
eler, as calm as June morning.
horo SO ho ookoA
eyes"
"Didn't tell you to get off this train
and stay Off"
"No." .---
"I did" -...--
"No; you told me to get out of that
car and stay out. and ! ! did"
tor, "listen to me-. and mind you do
just what I tell you. At the next sta
tion get off this train and stay off. Do
just what I tell you, or you will get into
trouble"
agreed" said the traveller, and the
conductor passed on.
Again the train stopped and started,
and again the traveller turned up ON the
train. The conductor was just reaching
for the bell-rope to stop the train and
eject him summari1y, when the traveller
stayed his hand.
"I obeyed ORDERS" he said. "You
told me to do just as you ordered ]
got out, and stayed out until you said
sAn aboard 7 Then got aboard, for ]
didn't want to get into trouble. You
know" .,.-
The conductor gave him his hand,
and it was noticed that, later in the day,
they ate together in the dining-car, and
ate heartily. boston Transcript.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25

The price of wife in Siberia is eight
dogs. The Siberian wife worth her
weight in sausage must be an extrordi-
nary woman.-Philadelphia Chronicle
Herald ...-. ..... ,..s .....
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
Rhyming Made Easy.

The Tribune has fitted up room for
the exclusive use of its poets, and has
introduced its new system of rhyming
charts, which are designed to aid those
of our songsters who never have any
difficulty in whooping up the sentiment,
but are occasionally little shy on. the
jingle part of their otherwise highly
creditable productions. The charts con-
tain words that rhyme pretty well, and
are adapted to any kind Of poetry, from
the Papa's-stepped-on-mothers s bunion
order to the wierd, mowing-machine
verses of Swinburne. When q poet
wants something that goes along smooth
and easy, like Maud 8. or the price of
wheat, he has only to glance at the one
SYLLABLE chart, which contains words
like:
Lime, Time,
Crime, Dino.
II he is in search of something with o
little more get-up to it, he can refer to
the next one, which contains words like:
Item, Benson,
Fly-time, venison,
Redress, Deapot
Maud g., Guess Not. r.
If the Swinburne metre is what he
wants, Chart No. 8 may be studied to
advantage. It reads: eees
Azure Sky, Darodi's Glow,
Refrigerator, S0rrel Horse.
And 80 forth. All poets are cordially in
vited to come in and try the scheme.
Take the elevator. 1t may fall some
day.-Chicago tribune. ..
"OuR hearts, our thoughts, our very
beings grow tender with age" said the
pastor, thoughtfully. "Yes," sad the
new noarder, with a PASSIONATE a, CLEAN .'i OF
sSunsS sSs very n%Sn sDn, e1Gsps = ss s1a%y
when the pudding was brought in, it
was noticed that the new boarder got
all tho crust and none of the dope"
so it was generally thought that Mrs.
McKerrel had dissembled.V III gair'1a5
-
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
IS First EHOrtS.O

long for some patent method for con-
vincing every man, woman and child,
who is poor, unhappy, or wants pin
money, that they cannot rush into itera-
ture pell-mell, and make money at will.
Above oil, should like legal penalty
imposed upon every one who sends q
"frst effort" to me- 1t is an equal
"effort" and by no means my "first Z"
for me to read their poetry, and for them
to write it. am fast becoming o
misanthrope from the amount of trash,
garnished with neither sense, grammar,
rhyme, nor metre. that my fellow crea-
lures perpetrate with view of fame and
fortune, Will anyone ever convince this
crowd Of imbeciles that to write even
decently demands previous cultivation,
information, and common sense; or that
real genius is like any other diamond,
and needs careful cultivating and polish-
ing? Isuppose not!-Atta,,tic Magazine.
The Detrait Free Press gives a long
list of ''definitions of words from the
thieves dialect" The Boston Post
thinks that "this will be great help to
new settlers in Detroit who don want to
appear ignorant in good s9ciety."
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25

snow Jest fun, Jim! which had you
rather be, a gas-meter, water-me.
tor. or a-rmeter by moonlight, aloney
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25
AnAnx.YAnp TRAGEDY.
ruE ANCIENT AoncuLruRIsr UNTO THE sUnnEI
BOARDER:

n ANCIENT AoRICULrURisr UNTO THE sUhnEl
BoARDKR:
MIIkin', friend-why, It's easy 'nuH-
So, there, boes- consarn your tall
o. course there's cows that win act rough
That's right, darn ye, mash the pail
You'd like 10 try one, eh3-all right;
Thar's q stool, thar, 10 the shed,
An here's pail-now take that whits,
Or, no, stranger, milk that red
Heyi 'tother side thar that's the vayj
30, 90, bossy, steady nowi
She won't hook ye, It's just her play
Ye can't find gentler COW.
II got her from Squire SINNERS JOSH
Oh, yes. milkin' is prime fun
Hold on, great scottl svon, BY goshi
Darn IL, she's killed him, sure's guni
Oh, say, old fellow, raise yer head;
Come now, set up, shov yer sense.
No, siree, ye amt bit deal
She Just kicked ye DER the fence.
Where are you now, Why in the yardf
Your hat7 say-up that tree;
Well, yes she's drapped you pooty hard
What was the cause7 that beats me.
What's that you askY What nade her kickf
What made her kick-wall, swar;
Ye arnesti why, twas just the trick
o. milkin' with liz cigari
WY FIRST CIGAR.
Twas Just behind the woodshed,
One glorious summer day,
Far DER the hills the sinking sun
Pursued It's westward way.
And in my lone aeclusion,
Safely removed afar
From all Of earth's confusion,
4 Emokedmy first cigar.
All bright the boyish fancies
Wrapped In the wreaths Of blue;
My eyes grew dim, my head light,
The woodshed round me few.
Dark night closed in around me,
Ray less, without n star.
Grim death thought had found me,
And spoiled my hrst cigar.
All palid was my noble brow,
The waning night was late,
My startled mother cried, In fear,
"My child, what have you ate7"
heard my fathers Emothered laugh,
IL seemed so strange and far,
knew he knew, knew he knew
I'D smoked my first cigar.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25

The province Of Bucnos Ayres pos
sesses "a, 600, 900 sheep, of which l8,
00O, 900 belong to Irish settlers.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-11-25

MANY horses are dying about West Jefferson
from epizooty.
PASSENGER trains on the Ohio and West Vir-
ginia Railroad began running from Middleport
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1880-12-09
"A story OF = crime.
From the Baltimore American.

From the Baltimore American. <s~
The defeat Of David s. Terry. one of
the Democratic candidates. on the Eiec-
toraI ticket In California, Is remarka-
BILE instance of punishment for crime
more than twenty years old. Terry
FILLED Senator Brode defIck in the famous
duel Of 1850. and the murder-for It
was nothing less-was forgotten until
its celebrity was revived In consequence
Of the nomination Of Terry. While the
other five electors Of California were
chosen By small pluralities, his name
was 50 heavily scratched that he was
defeated very unusual thing In the
case of an Elector. The people hunil-
lated him as the only penalty they could
infiict for the shedding Of the blood Of
Broderick. The latter belonged to the
Douglas wing of the Democratic party
in California just before the war. His
influence was very powerful, and the
pro-slavery, or Breckenridge faction,
had decided that he must be put out OF
the way. Terry was an accomplished
duellist, and picked the quarrel with
Broderick which resulted in the latter's
death. He was no marksman, and
when he accepted the challenge he
felt that he had sealed his own
fate. His bullet struck the ground In
front of his antagonist, and Terry then
shot him through the heart. Terry
went into the Confederate service, re-
turned to California after the close of
the war, aspired to enter political life,
and has had his ambition disappointed
by the votes of the people, who have
visited upon him q lust rebuke.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1880-12-09
The Fuel of the Future.

The Nautical Gazette makes the fol-
lowing announcement in regard to the
use Of petroleum as fuel: We shall soon
be able to announce wonderful stride
in the mechanical appliances for using
liquid fuel for generating steam in both
marine and lard boilers. The matter
is in the hands of practical men, who
will soon demonstrate they can make
from twenty-eight to thirty gallons of
crude petroleum, costing from s5 to 80
cents, do the work of ton of coal,
costing from 81 to 81 %, and without
dirt or smoke, and when, as in the case
of large steamer carrying from forty
to forty-five men in the fire-room, one
man In each will be abundantly able to
keep uniform pressure of steam at all
times. Liquid fuel is the intervening
step between coal and electricity, which
will in due season furnish motion for
the world. But until we arrive at
thorough knowledge of this subject and
Of motive power. liquid fuel will have
had its day and generation, wiping out
the last remnant of barbarism, coal.
The firemen of the future can wear
broadcloth in the fre-room, while the
coal passer will have laid down his
"shovel and hoe" to become one Of the
memories of the past. This condition
of things is near at hand.
Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1880-12-09
Rio Crande College.

HVHIS Institute offers complete Class
i zeal and Scientific courses of study,
graduates from which receive the
degrees of A. B. and B. S, respectively;
also College Preparatory, Normal and
Commercial courses. Glasses are form
ed, also, each term in the common
English branches to suit students not in
regular course. A class beginning
Latin Is formed regularly the third
term of each year.
Four terms year of ten weeks each.
Spring Term begins April 5, 1880;
Fall Term begins Aug. "a, 1880.
EXPENSES.
Tuition and IncidentaIs from 81 to sS
per term, or from $25 to s2S, per year.
instrumental Music $40 for 20 lessons.
Vocal Music, Penmanship, or Book
Keeping, 81 extra for 20 lessons.
Board (including room rent) is of
fered in the Hall at the exceedingly
lowprice of $2.15 per week.
The College is situated at Rio Grande,
Gallia Co., o., a quiet healthy locality
on the stage line between Oak Hill and
For catalogue or other information
apply to
A. A. MOULTON, Pres't