Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-11-06
An Ambfdexfer.

There is q reporter at the Times
Office who writes with equal rapid
ity with either hand. He is an am-
bidexter, and a bold, bad one at
that. When there is a rush of work
at the Office, and the devil is shout
ing sscoppee ~ like a tiend incar-
nate, this useful reporter sits down
at his desk in full company front,
and with pencil in each hand. sings
off local happenings by the yard.
He writes on two sheets at once,
and don't let his left hand know
what his right hand Is driving at
but it's driving all the same. Yes
terday he got a little off his mental
base, and attempted to write up
dog-fght and a wedding in
high life at the same true. He got
things mixed. His hands run clear
away with the gray matter in his
skull, and things became terribly
confused. This is the way his items
telescoped each other:
Sat Grace Church last night the
nuptials of Mr.. Thomas Johnson
and Miss Julia Lawrence were eele-
Drated in the most magnificent
style. A costly floral horse shoe
being directly over the altar, and
when the yellow cur saw the flames
of anger darling from the eyes OF
the brindle fyste, he opened with
the impressive strains of the we'd
ding march. AS the handsome
couple walked down the aisle, the
excited crowd began to get frantic,
and there were yells of Sick 'em,
Bull = AT him now, Towzerp as
the spectators became interested in
the fight. The bride was elegantly
attired in pure white garments of
the most costly fabrics, and she
wore the traditional white veil and
wreath of orange-blossoIns had him
by the neck, and his tongue began
to loll out and his eyes to turn SOM
black suit, white gloves, ears cropt
close to his head. He was disres-
pectful looking dog in the Begin
ming, and ought to have been whipt
for being so homely.
"He if of good family, and is en-
gagged in one of the most extensive
manufacturing houses in the west.
But the yellow cur seemed to be
getting a death grip on the throat of
the big brindle, and when he fondly
kissed the bride, according to the
ancient custom, his back was COW
cred with mud, and his off leg was
terribly cheWed up. Among the
costly presents received by the hap
py pair were a fine grand piano
from the father of the bride, hair
had been scalded from his back, and
one eye seemed to have been des-
troyed by an auger.
'sAfter a short bridal tour the
happy pair will settle down to one
of the hardest fought battles the re-
porter had yet witnessed, and it was
difficult to tell which dog had been
punished the worst. The fight end
ed at exactly 4:59, after having been
bitterly contested for an hour and a
halfwere driven to the residence of
the brides parents, and he was
taken to his owners home in a
wheelbarrow. He will probably
never recover, and if he does will
be totally blind. Besides being
permanently lame in the left hind
leg, the beautiful bride received the
congratulations of host of friends.
The groom is one of our most prom
Using young men, and his owner
breads the possibility of losing him
as he fears he can never replace
him. The father of the bride is one
of our wealthiest merchants, and
the yellow fyste limped off with a
knowing look in his eye, and a
saucy curl in his tail, as much as to
say, who else wants to try me p +"
The ambidexter was summarily
"fired. "-KdnSGs city Journal.