Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-10-15
Hawkeye Editorial Dots.

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Ohio is troubled with q ghost that
slings c0rn.cobs.
Georgia is what you might kind of
call Democratic Iowa.
The Whitehall Times says the best
color man can have is virt-hue.
Tue New Orleans Picayune alludes
to the bicycle as the whirligig of time.
There are FIVE old negroes in Atlanta
who say they saw George Washington.
Didn't there used to be an Evangelist
named Hammond somewhere in this
country.
The last census shows that Rhode
Island is entitled to another alderman
in both wards.
There is no way to preserve harvest
apples, unless you kill off the boys, and
that plan is hardly feasible.
A South Hill young man, whose feet
are more troubled than his conscience.
calls bis striped sock oornucopia.
Society must be going to the bow.
vows. It has been nearly three weeks
| oAASO cOWO RCkoOA OkAAuCub III 6OCl8l
life, rushed out and confessed some.
thing.
It was CHASTITY thing for the horse.
thief, when they were adjusting the
moose, to grimly remark to the regu-
lators that he would come under the
wire by neck.
1t is whispered that Gen. Hancock
believes in the blue glass theory. It
will be remembered that this blue glass
say, what was this blue glass excite
ment, anyhow?
Tyranny in small things is always
perceptible in the agonized efforts of q
strong man 20 sit upon a late tidy. he
is miserable so long as he can feel it
touch his head.
Gen. Hancock is the author of Crock
Me to Sleep. Mother" well, never
mind if they do deny it; the mischief is
done now, and all's fair in war. Put it
in, Mr.. Foreman.
Judge Black angrily denies that be
wrote General Hancock's "Order No.
49," So it seems there are some things
that even Judge Black is ashamed Of.
Bully for Judge Black.
It was the tenor and the new alto OF
the choir who explained to her father,
when the old gentleman met them
rather pointedly in the lane, that "they
met by chants" And after that she
gave hymn bookuets for his button-hole
every Sunday.
Japan is introducing the American
tobacco plant" says an exchange. Ha,
Connecticut tobacco or real tobacco
You can't tell from such an ambiguous
paragraph as that whether the Japanese
are trying to cultivate taste for navy
plug or sauer-kraut.
Emerson says, "There is no choice
OF words for him who clearly sees the
truth" Y dad, Mr.. Emerson, them's
just which sentiments we have addicted
to. It's that clear insight into the
truth that has always made us careless
about the way we slung the language
It would be more interesting to sec
David Davis fast than DR.. Tanner
When the ex-President-David wal
elected President on some ticket some
where once, wasn't he?-got down x
126 pounds, he could wrap the drapery
of his skin about him like q double
blanket and nobody would have known
he was there.
A foolish correspondent wants tc
know if COWS should be kept dry in the
winter time. Well. not If you keep the
COW for your own family use and need
the milk. But if you only run dairy
for town consumption. you may lei
every COW on the place run as dry as q
bone all winter so long as the creeh
doesn't freeze solid.
Great care should be taken in making
ice cream for q church sociable, Il
mash it up fine in the freezer. It kind
of destroys mans confidence in the
pure cream theory to spoon out Of hit
dish half OF hard-boiled egg, or 9
whole boiled potato. To say the least
it throws cloud over the festival when
the man offers to pay extra for his veg.
etable, or sends back for bit of bacon
to 60 with the potato.
A great many papers are counting
the letters in the candidates. names,
Herewith to prognosticate the result OF
the election in November. All, yes,
but man isn't entitled to vote all the
letters in his name in this country. II
such was the case. how quickly would
the Frothinghams and the Shellaber.
gers and the Hickenloopers and the
Throckmortons get together and get up
a ticket and get away with all Of us.
Sour hearts, our thoughts, our very
being grow tenderer with age" said
the pastor thong htfully. Yes" said
the new boarder, with q passionate
CLEAN Of intelligence in his mild blue
eyes; "but then we are not hens" No
body laughed except the landlady. She
seemed to enjoy it immensely, but
when the pudding was brought in, ii
WAS noticed that the new bosrder got
all the crust and none Of the dope,
SO it was generally mistrusted that Mrs.
McKerrell had dissembled.
The editor. yesterday afternoon, laid
his half.smoked cigar on the table, and
the candidate, dropping in to talk mat
ters over, perched himself on the table
and sat down on the real Connecticut
Havana. BY and by he sadly slipped