The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-07-22

beckoned the gentleman TO the other side
Of the carriage, and would have explained
the dilemma with laugh. But English.
men are persons full of niceness, and Mr..
Chucker dared not confess TO stranger
that he had no trousers on. He repeated
"Hoow two or three times over, and his
stratagem succeeded perfectly, for both
his fellow-passengers became convinced
that they were travelling with lunatic.
The lady began TO scream. Her nerves
were 80 unstrung that they could not
stand this extra shock and that foolish
Mr.. Chucker made things worse by the
fixity with which he stared at her. The
gentleman armed himself with an umbrella
TO protect his wife. Mr.. Chucker, enter.
ing into the spirit Of his part, caught up
his umbrella and brandished 1t. The
travellers were in these attitudes Of vigil
lance and menace when the train once
more slackened speed, and Hanwell was
reached.
Instantly the gentleman jumped out
on the Of-side Of the line, SO as not TO
pass Mr. Chucker, and helped out his
wife, whose screams had given place TO a
fit Of shiycring. Mr.. Chuckcr thought
himself well rid Of his mess, for the train
would go on again, and he should be
able 10 complete his dressing. By way
Of iusuling privacy for the remainder Of
his journey he began by pulling the car
riagc blinds down.
Alas he was not to get off so easily as
he had anticipated. Already there was
a connection ON the platform. Tho
husband Of the fainting lady had ex-
planned matters TO the station master;
some porters and guards had overheard
him, and the rumor circulated that there
was lunatic iii the train. Some pas
sengers, poking their heads out Of car
riage- windows, protested against travel
ing i'll the company Of man who might
commit some mad act-set the train on
fire, throw himself out, or emit awful
noises. The station master was obliged
" pacify these murmrers by strldlng
toward the alleged maniac's carriage.
The all-uncousclOus Mr. Chucker was
rudely aroused by the door being sud
denly opened and IL gruf voice exclaim-
ing:
''Now, sir, what's the matter with
you?'
"Nothings matter with
me, stammercd Mr.. Chucker. "What
should there be?' Dut, 50 saying he
Rugged his rug closer to him with a
guilty look.
Would you mind stepping out, sir?"
Why should l? My ticket is for
Windsor"
"Change here for Windsor, sir, re-
Sponded the guard, who was quite con-
yinced by this time that he had queer
character to deal with.
Well, man, since you put me to it,
I've no trousers ON, confessed Mr..
Chucker, lowering his voice; whereupon
the station master echoed i'll amaZement:
"No trousers and the crowd behind
caught up the words, "No trousers"
He's throwcd EN- ont Of the win
dow, suggested aporter,
/" Perhaps he had none on when he got
into the train, opined another.
Had you any tsouscrs on when you
got into the train?" inquired the station
master.
"Of course had, man. I've wopairs
with me now Let me alone, that ! may
put one on" faltered Mr.. Chucker, in
Inundated and disguised by the sight OF
50 many people staring ut him.
But while he was speaking, some low
chIrl, Selling n corner of his rug, gave
it a twitch and abruptly exposed Mr..
Chucker's dishabiHe to view. There was
II shout OF mingled laughter and dismay
from the passengers, some of whom, be-
ing ladies', deemed it expedient to
squeal.
"Out You come, " roared the blushing
station master, III paroxysm Of indig-
nation, and he clutched Mr.. Chucker by
the wrist
Well but-but-let me d-dress
first, pleaded the victim, as he felt, not
only his arms but his legs in the grasp
of different hands. He made short
struggle, but this did not improve his
position, for his resistance was ascribed
to maniacal outbreak, and emboldened
his aggressors to drag him out Of the
carriage feet foremost. He tumblcd out
in heap, and was then carried across
the platform, kicking and roaring in the
sight of hundred pairs of astonished
or amused eyes.
Oh!' exclaimed some rcddening
young ladies MS he passed.
"llie! Fetch the police" chorused
some Of the porters.
Ten minutes later, when Mr.. Chucker
had been conveyed under strong escort
to the station-master's room. and had
been suffered to don his pantaloons. he
contrived to get a hearing, and to ex-
plain how all his trouble had arisen.
" Well, but why didn't You tell us this
bcforc?' cried the station-master
because you wouldn't listen to me-"
screamed Mr.. Chucker."
"Wcll, you've missed your train and
your dinner, anyhow" said the station
master, land that'll be lesson to YOU"
"Lcsson Of what?" asked Mr. Chuck
er, exaspcrated.
"l,csson -why-lesson not to
take oft one pair Of breeches until you've
put the other on, and that for decency's
sake, sir!' answered the station master,
'ternly, formulating an axiom which
sounded WE'LL though, perhaps, Ike
some other mnxims occasionally pro-
pounded by worldly philosophy, it was
not so easy to follow. London Truth.
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