The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-07-08
The Troubles Of q Poet,

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chair, be slammed his hat on the table,
hurled his umbrella on the floor and sat
down.
care you the editor Z" he asked.
eyes"
"Can you read writingH"
"0f course"
"Read that, then" he said, thrusting
at the colonel an envelop, with an in
scription upon it.
O." said the colonel, trying to
spell it.
That's moi a B. It's an S. said the
man.
"S; o yes; 1 seel Well, the words look
a little like Salt for dinner or Souls
of sinners " said the colonel.
mo sir" replied the man, "nOthing
Of the kindI That's my nsme-Samuel
H. Drummer. I knew you couldn't read.
1 called to see you about that poem OF
mine you printed the other day, on the
'Surcease OF Sorrow"
"I don't remember it, said the colonel.
"Ot course you don't, because it went
into the paper under the infamous title
of 'Smearcase Tomorrow"
"Astupid blunder OF the co mpositor's,
1 suppose"
eyes, sir, and that's what L want to
see you about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scan.
dalous. l haven { slept a night since.
1t exposed me to derision. People think
I am an ass. Let me show you"
"Go ahead" said the colonel.
''The first line, when 1 wrote it, read
in this way:
Lying by a weeping willow, underneath 4
gentle slope
That is beautiful. poetic, affecting.
Now how did your vile sheet present
it to the publicP There it is Look at
that! Made it read this way:
Lying to a weeping widow, to induce her tt
elope.'
Weeping wido,O. mind you'll A widow.
o thunder and lightningI this is toe
much It's enough to drive q mar
crazyl"
'I'm sorry" said the colonel; "bu t.
"But look a.here at the fourth verse, u
said the poet. ''That's worse yet.
What / said was
Cast thy pearls before the swine, and lose
them in the dirt
1 wrote that out clearly and distinctly, in
a plain, round baud. Now what does
your compositor do3 Does he catch the
sense of that beautiful SENTIMENT Does
it sink into his soul2 No, sirl He sets
it up in this fashion. Listen
Cart thy pills before the sunrise and love
them if they hurt
Now, isn't that a cold. blooded outrage
on a mans feelingsp I'll leavei it to you
if it isn't
"It's hard, that's a fact, said the col.
oneI.
"And then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript it said, plain as
daylight
Take away the jingling money; it is only gilt.
tering drossv
A man with only n eye, and a cataract
over that, could have read the words
correctly. But your pirate up stairs
there, do you know what he did, He
made it read
Take away thy ieering monkeys on a sorely
glsndered hoss!'
By George, ] felt like Draining him
with a fre-shCveli l was never SO cut
up in my life.
"It was natural too" said the colo.
mel.
"There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. / wrote
I am weary of the tossing OF the ocean az II
heavesT
1t is a lovely line, too; but imagine my
horror and the anguish of my family
when I opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into
4 am wearing out my trousers till they're open
at the kneesy
That is q little too muchl That seems
to me like carrying the thing an inch or
two too far. l think l have q constitu-
tional right TO murder that compositor;
don't your"
81 think you have"
"Let me read you one more verse. !
wrote
I swell the flying echoes as they roam among
the hills,
And feel my soul awakening to the ecstasy
that thrills.'
Now, what doyou s'pose your miser
able outcast turned that into Why,
into this:
4 smell the frying shoes as they coast along
the bulls,
And l peel my sole mistaken In the erctary
that whirls.'
Gibberish, sir Awful gibberishP I
must slay that man. Where is he 2"
"He is ont, just now" said the colo.
- IT.