The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-06-22

A Lady Refuses to Tell Her Age
and then Puts the Census
Man Out OF the
House.

daily rounds recently, visited an elegantly
furnished dwelling house and among other
QUESTION: asked the lady Of the house. -
the Law requires, "What is your ase?' She
gave him one Of those whitening looks
which are usually closely followed BY .
coroners inquest and snaried out, "Hov
dare you be 70 pvespup;uous. I'D have
you to know that it's none of your business
What my age is, SIR"
Enumerator (demureIy. My dear lady,
It is my duty, under the Leo, TO sAcertain
your age. have to know.
Axele- Lady.-Don't you "dear" me;
you stop calling me "lady" 80 often. You
can't Aa,ter me ths, way. iRieing and
shaking herelf ~ il she wore spurs and
vas about to throttle the slim-necked
questioneT.l want to inform you, in
sul,ine hoy, that even my husband does
not know my age, and We nave been mar.
ried nigh On to twenty five year, end |
love him as love the truth; and do you
presume that will not tell him yet will
tell you my age: Never. neser-r!
Enumerstor.-(Iooking unconcerned but
reslly getting frac,iour and striking saw
.gely At ribby fly that was yainly trying
to get square meal from between the
stubby hairs thst hsi been driven into his
shaved head Well, I'll mark you down
az forty five years of age.
Ir.te Female-tNow getting red hot. A
fly slights on her cheek, roasting it's foot.
it, little toe nails, scorched and curled
down like burnt leather. and holding that
foot near it, mouth he blOwe on il and
AIes bowling of in search of . refrigerator
and -ome oin,ment.l Young man. your in
solence ia intolerable Preaching down and
buckiine tighter the belt that held on her
liver p.d) am not forty year old, You
know. you PREACHING mp and carefully hid
ing the natural gray hairs under the black
onea Of her wig) cruel, heartle~ rake. /
an not old. On, had your mother learned
you n much sense as she did impudence,
you would be perfect gentleman. ] sm
Preaching up and replacing her false teeth
that we're getting sgitsied and about 10
fell oui) not beginning to grow old yet; to
suspect am forty five il horrible tpickine
up the old family Bible containing the
family record of births and showing il IN
der the bed) you may say am pot hsnd-
.ome or amisble, hut that am not young,
you never shall, not while reason sits en-
throned herein. (strikine herself vigorously
on her head With her hand to emphasize
the last remark she shook her Wig from its
moorings and il fell on the Aoor. Rushing
towards the census man, her bald head
slisiening in the sunbeams.) Oh, you grim
ming, shaved-headed imp tpicking mp from
The table pair of spectacIes Of degree Of
convexity only worn BY aged persona.
sith her name inscribed on the easel you
cheek, you walking gall Throwing her
age-denoiine ear trumpet under the bureau
YOU personi6cxtion nf sin pnked out red hot
from the stom .ch ri he'll, git ou' 1T my
house. And che croxded him out aud
the door, and ~ he amb!ed
down the walk to the gale carefully mark
ing "sge, fort y five years" in his big boob
which will he sent TO Washington City
and always BE- . record Of the eye Of that
iemsle. which everybody will be slwsys
reading and commenting on, abe yelled at
him, Don't you ever put your face in my
house again. you impuient scslawag. d.
you hear me? Nevsh! nevah!." and he
won't.