The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-05-01
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.

mGkcrs-Bccs.
4 rood dca -Four aces. Schenck
4 current cvcnt-The Gulf stream.
CoId comforl--Icc in August.
great fall in New York--Niagara
Green grocer-Ouc who docs business on credit
widow's homc-Tith hcr second husband,
when she can get one.
sanGcy- new hymn, is Your Lamp Burn
ing" should be inscribed to Edison
A Nes Jersey lady reading paper about "Du-
mas .f',," said, $50 does my husband
Buffalo Bin has been introduced in congress
or at least bill to prevent the determination Of
buffalo
The Elmira A}ccrtisrr advises young men to
eco west and blow up with the country
A dairymau could furnish clean milk if he
would only strain pint TO accommodate you,
grocer adycrtiscs CLANS and Cigars, smoked
and unsmoked."
"Thc past is gone" said Grant at New Orleans,
Those who are waiting for the past to come will
be disappointed.
The president Of a bank ran a race for $40 with
tramp in st. Louis. The tramp had snatched
the money from the bank counter
He was in the Legislature one year, / be-
licyc; bat wouldn't say anything about that.
Otherwise his life wa, free from blot"
We arc told that General sherman was al
Wa}s coolest when on the point of attack" Most
people arc hottest when on the point Of tack,
Their. /, Il suspicion growing up at West Point
that some OF the Witnesses in the Whitaker case
have been training in Louisiana.
Can it properly be said Of young man wno
dcyolcz his time TO complimcutng the ladies, that
lie Il engaged in she prasingY
Belya Lockwood, says the Pcayqne, is very
kiud.Acartld, aud when she secs poor sick We
usu in Washington she always inquiries, Have
you Ben Ill., dcar?'
Campuuini the tenor, had "syncopc" in st.
Louis. They do have the funniest names for
mixed drink, in the western towns. Anything
10 be un. iHdHid Constitution.
as your wifcs name Margaret" asked the
hired man NO" said the farmer; "Margy's
short FOR ogomargercue, and calls her that cause
don't love any but her.
Canada. He was challenged to a discussion 10y
a clergyman named Bray and promptly declined.
The name frightened him.
The eloqucnce Of a Wisconsin divine on the in
Equity Of any money dealings on the Sabbath had
such telling effect on his eIthralled audience
that not u cent appeared in the collection plate.
WasLoe man was recently RED for stealing
milk from neighbours cow at hight The jury,
after mature drlibcratioB, returned verdict of
"Guilty thinking a COW in the first degree"
Col Bob Ingersoll was advertised to lecture at
Washington last sunday night ON the subject:
What must do 10 be saved" If he really
knew he would patent his device before pro-
claiming it.
A suggestion by the Daubury Ndrs: "When |
you have got through using your gem puzzles, |
give them to the poor. We must get rid of the
poor some way"
Thetovn Of Windsor, Conn, claims to be two
hundred and nifty years old, and the Detroit Free
Pres says she eau prove it by most of her sun
day plug hats.
A reward having been offered for a rhyme to
Arkansaw, the Arkaasa,o Traveller sets It's machine
TO work and grinds out the following:
There is a man up here in Arkansaw
Who can saw as much as his ma can saw;
But give him an sx,
And with one or two whacks
He'll chop up more logs than his pa can saw.
Incredible as II may seem, It is fact, that two
etired English merchants, who had come to