The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-05-07
The Perilous Puzzle.

/ The PerilOus Puzzle.
While we whirl away on the Atlantic
and Great Western, the only road in free
| America that is as broad as it is long,
the fat passenger asked me If "ever
worked out the fifteen puzzle"
I tell him with a nameless gratitude IN
my voice that have done almost every
thing else that is foolish and wicked, but
I have never become addicted to the fif-
teen puzzle.
He then pulled one out of his pocket
and settled down to it. Long and pa
tiently he wrought, while the other pas
sengers helped him with suggestions and
criticisms. Presently the brakeman
came in and he leaned over the shoul-
aers of the crowd nnd looked on and as
sisted. Bye the bye the conductor came
along shouting ''tikits," and he stopped
to see what was the excitement, He
pushed his punch in his pocket, and
leaned up with the rest of the crowd and
told the fat passenger what to do. The
excitement ran high and half dozen
bitter disputes arose, which were only
| quelled by bitterer ones arising over
new points. The train sped on its thun-
dering way, and in due time it slowed
up a little and finally stopped. The
conductor looked up impatiently.
"What in thunder" he said, sis that
fool stopping here for ?"
"Walter, I reckon or coal maybe" re-
piled the brakeman, without looking up
| from the puzzle.
| $50 out and see what he wants, and
tell him to go on" said the conductor,
returning to the puzzle.
The brakeman, after feeble protest,
and one last, lingering look at the puzzle,
| which was now farther than ever from
completion, went out. In the space of q
minute he came back into the car and
shouted in husky, whispered, ghost of
shout:
'sMeadville! Change cars for Oil City
and Franklin! This train stops twenty
minutes for dinner!"
A wall of rage and disappointment
filled the car.
'sWhy didn't this train stop at Allan
tic ?" roared the passenger with the sandy
goatee.
ssI wanted to get off at Evansburgi -
howled the man with the sample cases.
'My sister wanted to get on at Allan
tic. and saw her on the platform when
we came through" shouted the woman
who talks bass.
''And ]" sobbed a timid looking young
man in black clothes, ''was to have been
married to a girl in Geneva to-day, and
| now I'll bet you cow her old dad is
walking down the railroad track in this
| direction, with shotgun" And he
walled SO pitifully that the whole car
howled in sympathetic unison.
Just then the express messenger came
storming into the coach.
''By chowder p he yelled, ''I'd just
| like to know what this means? Ia like
to know if the express company has any
| rights on this road at all, and how man
is going to deliver or receive packages
when"
And the mail agent pushed him cut of
the way and stood before the conductor
in all the gorgeous par oply of half dress
and half working uniform.
'By Georgep he shouted, 'sthe gov
ernment shall be informed of this out
rageous proceeding. IF there's special
agent in the State of Pennsylvania, he
will be-
But before he could say any more a
telegraph messenger came in and told
the conductor the assistant superintend-
ent would like to see him and the engin-
eer in his private Office Immediately.
And it was so that they went, and per-
adventure they danced upon the carpet;
yea, they stood in the perspiring solitude
of the sweat-box.
The next morning the fat passenger
beckoned me solemnly into the smoking
car. 'Lght that" he said, and lit it.
'Do you know" he said, sswhen Invent
to bed last night the walls of more
people who wanted to get off, and the
agonized faces of the people who wanted
to get on, in that run from Greenville to
Meadville, just haunted me? And I
dreamed I died and went to heaven. I
thought had just fifteen brains, and all
the way up to the gate I was trying to
straighten them out, and I thought I
would go mad. When got up there
the gate was wide open. and all sorts of
pleased. I hadn't the cheek to think
had right to go in without any
credentials or explanation, so I hung
back looking for st. Peter. And whileI
was waiting I hope to die if Bob Inger-
soil didn't come along and walk
right in, and he looked as if he were
mighty glad to get there. Presently saw
st. Peter, right by the gate, his head bent
down and his eyes fixed on his knees. I
told him my name and where was from,
and asked if I might go in. He didn't
say anything, and began to feel pretty
streaked. So I said it again, little
louder. Still he made no reply. Then
shook him by the shoulder, for I was
getting pretty anxious. and I begun to
tell it all over again. It frightened me
when he shock me off.
$50, IL, 4, IS, 7-oh, get out of this,
you and your name; if you hadn't both
cred me I'd have got it the next move"
'tNow," the fat passenger said sol
emnly, 81 am never going to fool with
that Gem puzzle again. Not once more.
And he fell into profound fit of alb
straction, and we couldn't raise laugh
from him all day.
A DIPLOMATIC ANswER.-The old man
Smith, of Richfeld, is self-suficient
sort of fellow, and prides himself upon
his riding abilities. One day he espied
his young hopeful leading colt to water
gingerly, and remarked: 'sWhy on
earth don't you ride that beast?" ssI'm
'fraid to; 'fraid he'll throw me-" Bring
that hoss here" snapped the old man.
The colt was urged up to the fence, and
braced one side by the boy while the old
man climbed on to the rails and stocked
himself on the colts back. Then he was
let go, and the old gentleman rode
proudly off. Paralyzed by fear the colt |