Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-07-22
MR.. CHUCKER'S TOILET.
Concluded from first page.

could not stand this extra shock; and
that foolish Mr.. Chucker made things
worse by the fixety with which he
stared at her. The gentleman armed
himself with an umbrella to protect
his wife. Mr.. Chucker entering into
the spirit Of his part, caught up his
own umbrella and brandished it. The
travellers were In the attitude of vigi-
lance and menace when the train once
more slackened speed, and Hanwell
was reached.
Instantly the gentleman jumped out
on the off-side of the line. SO as not
to pass Mr.. Chucker, and helped out
his wife, whose screams had given
place to a fit of %shivering. MI.
Chucker thought himself well rid Of
his mess, for the train would go on
again, and he should be able to COM
plete his dressing. BY way of insur-
ing privacy for the remainder of his
journey, he began by pulling the car
rage blinds down.
Alas! he was not to get off so easily
as he anticipated. Already there was
q commotion on the platform. The
husband of the fainting lady had ex-
planned matters to the station-master;
some porters and guards had over
heard him: and the rumor was circu-
lated that there was a lunatic on the
train. Some passengers, poking their
heads out of carriage windows, pro-
tested against travelling in the compa-
ny of a man who might commit some
mad act-set the train On fire, throw
himself out, or emit awful noises.
The station-master vas obliged to
pacify these murmers by striding
towards the alleged maniac's cage.
The all-unconscious Mr.. Chucker vas
1udely aroused by the door being
suddenly opened and a gruff voice
exclsiming: "Now, sir, what's the
matter with your"
"Nothing's the-the-matter with
me-" stammered Mr.. Chucker.
''What should there be-" but, so
saying, he Rugged his rug closer to
him with . guilty look.
"Would you mind stepping out,
sir?"
"Why should I? My ticket is for
Windsor"
"Cange here for Windsor, SIR
responded the guard, who was quite
convinced by this time that he. had a
queer character to deal with.
"Well man, since you pnt me to
it, I've no trousers on" confessed
Mr.. Chuckcr, lowering his voice !;
~whereupon the station-master echoed
in amazement, "No trousers ?'and the
crowd caught up the words, "No
trOusers!"
. "He's throwed 'em out of the win
dow" suggested a porter.
"Perhaps he had none on when he
got into the train," opined another.
Had you any trousers on when
you got into the train!" inquired the
station master.
"Of course I had, man; I've two
pair with me now. Let me alone
that I may put one on fsltered Mr..
Chucker, inundated and disguised
by the sight Of SO many people star
ing at him.
But while he was speaking some
low churl, selling q corner of his rug,
gave it q witch. and abruptly expos
ed Mr.. Chucker's dishabiHe to view.
There was q shout of mingled laugh
ter and dismay from the passengers,
some whom, being ladies, deemed it
expedient to squeal.
''Out you come," roared the blush
ing statiOn-master, in a paroxysm of
indignation, and he clutched Mr..
Chucker by the wrist.
"Well! but-but-let me- d-dress
tirst," pleaded the victim, as he felt,
not only his arms but his legs, in the
grasp of different hands. He made
a short struggle, but this did not inn
prove his position, for his resistance
was ascribed as a maniacal outbreak,
and emboldened his sggressor to
drag him out of the Garage feet fore
most. He tumbled out in a heap,
and was then carried acIoss the plat
form, kicking and roaring in the sight
of q hundred pairs of astonished or
amusing eyes.
"Oh!" exclaimed the reddening
yound ladies, as he passed.
"Poor mani" cried some Older
ones.
s'Hiei fetch the police" chorused
some of the pOrters.
= = y
Ten minutes later, when Mr..
Chucker had been conveyed, under
strong escort, to the Station-master's
room, and had been suffered to don
his pantaloons, he contriyed to get 8
hearing, and to explain how all his
trouble had arisen.
Swell, but why didn't you tell us
this before?" cried the statiOn-mas.
tea.
''I,ecause you wouldn't listen to
me-" screamed Mr.. Chucker.
"Well, you've missed your train
and dinner, anyhow" said the sta
tion-master "and that'fi be a lesson
to you.'
Lesson of what?' asked Mr..
CHECKER, exasperated.
Observation-Disclosures not te
take off one pair of breeches unit
you've put the other on, and that fol
decency's sake, sir!" answered the
station-master, formulating an axiom
which sounded we'll ; though, perhaps,
like some other maxims occasionally
propounded by worldly philosophy
it was not easy to follow.
A Country of Contraries.
In Australia the swans are black,
fish climb the trees, and cherry stones
grow on the outside OF the fruit. One
of the most interesting of these con.
Predictions is q fly which catches
spiders, and spiders which are big
enough and strong enough to catch
ANAL birds. Probably. too. though