The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-04-29
PASSING SMILES.

Glow many deathsT' asked the hos
pital physician while going his rounds.
" Nine" "Why, | ordered medicine
for ten" Yes, but one wouldn't take
it,
WESTERN papers are discussing the
question, "Shall married women workT
Unless they do we suppose a good many
husbands Of the period will starve TO
death.
A MEDICAL journal tells of man liz.
ing five years with bsll in his head.
We've known ladies to live twice as Ling
without anything but balls In their
heads.
Ir was delicate piece of sarcasm in
the boarder who sent his landIady last
eve ing n razor, neatly enclosed in a
handsome slk.lined case, and labelled
Butter.knife."
A BEvY of Chicago girls, at a recent
wedding threw their slippers at the bride
on her departure on her bridal tour, for
luck. One of them hit her, and her
funeral occurred three days later.
THE Irish people cart eat the speeches
made in this country over the WEES, nor
vet make soup Of the resolutions passed
at mass.meetings. Wnat they want Is
pork and potatoes.-Detroh Free Press.
THE members of the Derrick staff were
hlutting as to who had got off the best
thing during the week. When it came
to the last man, he said he thought the
best thing he had got off was his dirty
shirt.--OH City ID rrick.
We said, the other day, GA million
aire with boil is not bit happier than
a beggar in the same pledicament," and
forty.sev, n millionsiresha have called upon
us for an explanation. Oace for al we
must say right hrre that We haven't
time to foo with miliona res.
In little family discussion, the
other day, the madam remarked, some
what tarly: When I marry again"
81 suppose you will marry fool"
interrupted the husband. Beg your
pardon" said she, {" will do nothing of
the kind. lprefer change" The lord
and master wllted
AN exchange says: There are three
headless BOOSTERS being exhibited in
town in Indiana" There are four head
less ROSTERS being exhited in this city.
and the butcher sticks to it that they
are spring chickens and cheap at eight
cents pound.-Pcck's Miraukee Sun.
AN army officer is retired when he
goes out of service, and wheel is re-
tired to go into service again. When
sheriff releases a prisoner he loses posses.
sion of him, and when he releases q
house he repains possession of it, and
this is bowling old language of ours,
isn't it"
WE protest against the folly of this
senseless demand that the money Of the
land should be kept in circulation.
That's Just tue trouble with it; it cireu-
lates too fast. What we are trying to do
i. to stop n little of it right Mt the very
number where the carrier leaves our let
tiers. Burlington Hawkeys.
"My knowledge of the diplomatic
SERVICE" said young Republican, last
week, lis very slight. | don't know
what an Envoy Extraordinary is"
but after the LondOners had Played
poker with General Schenck few times
they must have thought him an extra.
ordinary envoy.
WHAT is home without wifeg''
asks the Yonkers Gazette. /. is the din.
ing room in the parlor, the coal bin in
the kitchen, the clean shirt in hiding, a
depot for soied clothes, trysting place
for divorced stockings, smoking fur
mace, a private pandemonium, n cavern
of profane rumblings, lunatic asylum.
More?
"UNLEss you give me aid" said a
begsar to a benevolent lady, 81 am
afraid | shall have to resort to some
thing which | greatly dislike to do
The lady handed him dollar and com
passionatey asked: What is it, poor
man, that | have saved you FRONT
Work." was the mournful answer.
FAMOUS judge came late To court
One day III busy season,
| WherCat his clerk, in great surprise
Inquired OF him the reason,
"a child was bDrp," His Honor said.
"And Pm the happy sire"
! "An infant Judge" "Jh, no." said he,
"As vet he's but crier."
WOMEN" says literary journal,
olive on love-" That may all be; but
we notice all that have the pleasure OF
our acquaintance linger around the
t BILE three times day and get OH the
outside of au awful lot of beef.steak and
potatoes, as we'll as other substantial
articles of food.-Elmira Sunday Tee
gram
, OTHER papers are busy telling whs'
thew want to see. The Argo has two
wants. First, it wants to see show
, which surpasses its advertisement Sec
: ondly, it wants, very much, to see
!. scribbler who uses nom de plume, ane
, don't use every exertion to let the pub
) lie know his or her true name. Tit
Arqo will sail good ways to see tn
, rare and radiant" being who is satisfied
, with the chosen nom de plume.
Tar charity balls have been UNUSUAL.
successful, and in many instances tn
poor dress.maker has realized a profit o
$75 on one costume, and the poor tailo
has been scarcely less fortunate. Will
D the poer florist has had more orders TO
IS boquets than lie could fill, and tn
, poor livery men have had all their cal
rriages out all night at 80 an hour, an
l the poor caterer has realized his usua
4 profit on Jersey cider at champaign
prices. In the meantime we believe tn
Door people who don't know how to d
9 ANYTHING but saw wood and dig ditche
i have gone on starving about the sane
i but then a charity ball can't be expecte
+ to take care of all kinds of poor people
8 -Hawkeye.