Northern Ohio journal. [volume] (Painesville, Ohio) 1872-1896, 1880-03-27
Telegraphic Vagaries.

ton in Turkey and the deposition of
Abdul Aziz, Queen Victoria, it is said,
lost no time in Intervening in his behalf
by telegraphlng to Constantinople and
expressing her hope THAT the ex-Sultan
would not be subjected to any violence
or ill-treatment. 'sSoignez ie bien''
0ake good care of him) said Her Maj
esty; but the cruel telegraph made her.
say ''Saignez lie bien" (bleed him
welD; and how they bled him all the
world knows. The story is not impos-
sible
In his last annual report the Post
master General owns that poor wom-
an. telegraphing to a relative, Mary
is bad" had her message rendered
''sMary is dead;" and that pleasul e
party wishing to advise their friends at
home of their safety by the assurance
that they had " arrived all right scan
dalized the anxious ones with the an
| nouncement: ave have arrived all
tight But many jokes are perpe-
official recognition.
A noble lord, as proud and fond as a
man should be of his beautiful wife,
was just about rising to speak in a de-
bate, when a telegram was put into his
1AC l0do IL, 101O buC A1OuSG,
jumped into cab, drove to Charing
Cross and took the train for Dover.
Next day he returned home. rushed into
his wife's room, and finding her there,
upbraided the astonished lady in no
measured terms. She protested her
ignorance of having done anything to
offend him.
'tThen what did you mean by your
telegram?" he asked.
"Mean? What I said, of course.
What are you talking about?'' ss
Read it for yourself said he.
She read: Il flee with MIR. - to
Dover Straight. Pray for me.''
For the moment words would not
come; then after a merry fit of laughter
the suspected wife quietly remarked:
20 those dreadful telegraph people!
No wonder you are out of your mind,
dear. 1 telegraphed simply: 1 tea
with Mrs. - in Dover street. STAY
for me.'''
King John of Saxony was prone to
dropping in upon officials when they
least expected him. One day he ap-
| peared at the telegraph Office of small
| station. The clerk apprised his col
| league at the next station of the unwel-
come visit, and before an acknowledge
| ment of the warning came was called
upon to enlighten the inquiring mon
arch respecting the business of his Of
fee. Presently message came along
the wires, and His Majesty desired to
be acquainted with its purport. He
was told it was unimportant; but was
not to be put off, and insisted upon the
message being repeated to him; so the
stammering clerk had no choice but to
regale the loyal ears with the German
equivalent for: 'The King pokes his
nose into everything" If King John
was annoyed by the impertinence, he
had to thank himself for it.
Such was hardly the case with the
late Earl Russell. One evening, when
he was the Minister in attendance al
Balmoral, a little old man, buried in q
greatcoat, handed a telegram, ad.
dressed to one of the Ministers in Lon.
don, to the telegraph clerk in one o1
the stations on the Deeside Railway
The clerk, after glancing at the mes
sage, threw it contemptuously bach
with. "Put your name to it. It's &
pity your master does not know how tt
send telegram" The name wa.
added. "Why, you can't writeT' ex
claimed the clerk, after vainly trying tt
make something of the signature
whats your nameP'
"My name?' said the messenger
my name is John RUSSELL
That CLERK was transferred to anothe
office before many days passed.
Writing Of the difficulty English en-
gineers experienced in making edu
Gated Persians understand the working
of the electric telegraph, Mr.. Mounse,
says: "Mueh of the time of one of ou
officers was occupied during severa
weeks in attempting to enlighten tn
mind of a Provincial Governor, VIII,
had got it into his head that the wire
were hollow tubes, and that message
were transmitted through them, as il
the pneumatic post. In vain was tn
whole apparatus shown to His High
ness; in vain even all its parts ex
planned and re-explained-he stuck t,
his idea; and it was only by the sugges
: ton of the following simile that he wa
: at last induced to relinquish it, and de
, clare himself satisfied: Imagine sal,
, the officer, a dog whose tail is here a
Teheran, and his muzzle in London
: tread on his tail here, and he will bari
there"
, A droll mistake was made by al
imaginative ola Dame VINO, naVlng per
, mitted telegraph pole to be placed o.
| the top of her house, waited upon tn
| chief of the telegraphic company con
t cerned to complain that she could ge
| no sleep of a night. being kept awak
+ by the noise made by the message
t passing over her her head. ssI don
think, sir,'' said she, ss-you can
: aware of all that's said along ther
| THbnrQSS Hae1 that haHn'
e ought to be. I can assure you, si1
: that very much that's said there, tbs
I / have to lie and listen to, is such as n
r decent woman ought to hear; and
: hope you will put a stop to it." Th