The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-06-24
WIT AND WISDOM.

The difference between horse-rad-
ish and a reddish horse is this: One is
not horse at all, and the other is
horse of another color. r..
Farmers do not hear the cornstalk.
Neither do men who wear tight boots.
But there are some things which speak
louder than words.
-" Women" quoth Jones, "are the
salad of life, at once boon and q bless
ing" Gin one way they're salad; in
deed" replied Brown, they take SO
much time in their dressing"
-" Always get up from the table
hungry if you wish to avoid dyspepsia"
is hit of advice that clearinghouse
keepers should not neglect to paste up
in their diniDg.room.
They say that insects can't reason,
but spider at the West End has
stretched his web right over the pOf-
trait of a bald-headed man. And he
doesn't go hungry, you just wager
Boston Post.
The New Orleans Picaysase wants
every rule to work both ways. 1t says:
"There is no instance known of man
sentenced to imprisonment for life hav-
ing his sentence committed to hang
ing"
The superior moral sense of wom-
an is conclusively shown by the fact
that dressmaker, after promising five
women that she will do their gowns
first, so that they may start for the
country, never losses up cent or
"shakes'' to see upon which she shall
90 to work, whereas a tailor frequently
yields to the temptation to resort to
these immoral and illegal ways of solv-
ing a problem.-Bost0n Advertiser.
cit is the present fashion to give
brides money instead of the traditional
silver-ware and trinkets." The change
is to be commended. Pretty often the
bridegroom runs short OF funds before
the wedding-tour is half completed. and
if the bride had been given money in
stead of silver tca-pots and things she
could have helped him out of his imam
cial gloom. A lot of silverware at home
when you are a few hundred miles
therefrom with not enough money to
pay hotel bill, is a hollow mockery.-
Norristown Herald. f.,.r yH.f'..
When a Carson man got well
enough to be out after difficulty with
a mule, he fixed the treadmill of his
saving machine so that it would roll,
put tempting measure of oats in the
manger at the upper end, and left the
mule alone with the contrivance, and
after the animal had worked for half a
day in vain effort to climb up to those
oats, everytime he had stepped forward
on the mill it having rolled back with
him, that mule was the most fatigued
and ugliest, maddest and most disgust
ed animal in Nevada, and the avenger
felt as tickled as though he had won
forty EIGHT dollars a: poker.
-..Are you prepared for deathp,
the clergyman asked, with tremor of
emotion in his voice, as he took the sick
woman's hand in his own. A shade of
patient. thought crossed the invalid's
face, and by and by she said "she
didn't hardly believe she was; there was
the little bed room carpet to be taken
up. yet, and the paint up stairs had
hardly bcea touched. and she did, not
want to put up new curtains in the din
ing room, but she thought if she didn't
die until next Monday she would be
about IS near ready as woman with q
big faniily and NO gin ever expected to
be. p. S.-That woman got Fwell.--
Burliuqton HaaOk-Eye.