The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-08-27
JOTTINGS AND CLIPPINGS.


NATURE saw the bicycle in the dim fu-
ture when she created bow-legged man.
The rolling stone gathers no moss, but
it gathers the fellow that rides bicycle
every time.
INSTEAD of thousand, there are just
fifteen hundred and five islands in the st.
Lawrence River.
The wheat crop of this country is so
large that any industrious family has no
excuse for not being well bread.
LOOK out for bad man when he talks
of virtue. The chickens had better roost
high when the fox begins to preach.
The shark is the most sociable of fish.
He never calls upon bather without
wanting to stop and take bite.
A KANSAS man, upon getting divorce,
married his wife's sister. This is an i'm
proved method of swapping sisters-in-
law.
THE base drum player makes more
noise than anybody else, but he doesn't
lead the band. There is moral to
this
A WOMAN can not become successful
lawyer. She is too fond of giving her
opinion without pay.-OU city Der
rick.
IT has again occurred to householder
to kill burglar. If he could keep this
thing up it would occur to burglars to
quit the business.
YOUNG man, don't be too ethereal.
There are men who soar, as it were, right
above this mundane sphere; but corn
and potatoes don't grow so high up.
We have met the enemy and-we won't
say anything about it, as the boy said
when he came across skunk III his
fathers pasture. -BOSton Post.
The average time consumed by sailing
vessels in making the voyage from New
York to San Francisco Ella Cape Horn,
is l25 days. Returning, the average time
is 40 days.
"a MAN should overcome the liar by
truth. Yes, that is n good way, but the
premium method of overcoming n liar is
To slam him over the head and Jump on
him little.
"WHAT did the Puritans come to this
country for?" asked a Massachusetts
teacher OF his class. "To worship in
their own way, and make other people
do the same, was the reply
The sweetest wine, if left exposed to
feed on its own sweetness, turns to sour
est vinegar; so the best affections, if
turned back to prey upon themselves, are
changed to biterest hatred-BuiUer.
THERE is only one person who makes
himself more ridiculous than he who is
in the society for the first time, and that
person is he who is anxious that all should
know that he is used to this thing, YOU
know
A YOUNG lady of our acquaintance calls
a certain ed-haired youth DUTY" be-
cause he stares her i'll the face He
doubtless wishes she was like the I" Pin
afore" crew, attentive to her Duty. But
she isn't
AMARYLAND farmer is reported as boil
ing his potato bugs, and finding mine
of wealth in the oil of the striped car
casses. 1t is claimed that the oil makes
a fine dyeing preparation. Rather bug
gy story.
mature has written honest man, on
his face, said a friend to Jerrold, speak
ing of person in whom Jerrold's faith
was not altogether blind "Humphl"
Jerold replied; "then the pen must
have beef n very bad one"
JERRY CARROLL was n deck hand on
board the Narragansett, but he left the
vessel the day of the disaster. This was
proyidential. Last Saturday he went in
swimming and was drowned. This was
but why bring up the past?
bury NetCS.
JAMES FLooD, the bonanza king, who
Is to be promoted to the sublime degree
of father-in-law toJesse Grant, has pur-
chased II 500, 900 homestead, the Bedloe
estate, for the young people To live i'll.
The girl is said to be real handsome,
also. These Grants are q lucky SET
-Pecks Sun.
gent compositor, who, III attempting to
say that Mr.. Stillwell, the private secre-
tary of Collector Merritt, has been pro-
NOTED to the chief of the bureau of ''pro-
tests and appeals, sets it up chief of the
bureau of potatoes and apples.
The local editor of certain seaside
journal is absent minded. Some one
said to him yesterday: Charley, that
young lady you pay attention to isn't
quite up to the mark" 81 don't care
continental" was the reply; 'all that
will be corrected i'll the proof. "-r-Bangor
Commercial
A New YORK correspondent says:
''NIost of the Bohemians i'll this city
make cigars, either in factories or in their
own rooms" The impression has got
abroad that most of the "Bohemians" in
New York were hard-up newspaper men
and authors who drank beer and begged
their cigars. -NOiTistOaUn Hcraid.