Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-02-26
A Racy Letter.

good-natured raillery and well
directed shafts. Our readers will
enjoy its perusal, as will, we are
sure, the parties named
/. As to the surest means of
getting Mr.. Beasley in Congress:
| would recommend the estab-
lishment of societies for the en-
couragement of the immigration
of Predetermined persons into his
district, without regard to ''race,
color or previous condition of
servitude." Then | would es-
tablish schools and educate them
to higher degree of fooIishness,
if possible, and to popularise the
course would make Mr.. Beasley
professor, and endow the chair
by a subscription Of repudiated
railroad bonds.
2. As to keeping reputation
leaders from running for office:
| am intimately acquainted with
some of these animals,and | know
of but one efectual way of de-
stroying that desire to become a
Servant of the people," and that
is by administering strychnine
in half-pint dosese every two hours,
until life is extinct. The surest
way to get them to take 1t is to
conceal it in a "small office" and
leave the office lying around
loose.
3. AS to beating a Democratic
nominee. Well give that up.
In some places it is easy enough.
but in Tennessee it is rather an
uphill business. 1t requires pa
thence and energy and brains,a land
Votes. The last two are scarce
in anti-Democratic quarters il
this section. just here is where
Mr.. Beasley "gets away>with me-
in his search for information. On
almost any other question / could
have sprung a theory, but the Sc
cret of beating a Democrat il
! his district is one of them things
''that no fellow can find out.
But | can console him with tht
reflection that the information
even after it was obtained, woult
be worth about as much to hin
as an additional foot would be t.
a acknowledged worm. Som'
people are so given to search TO
the useless and invaluable thing,
of this life. | once knew a fel
low who worried out his exis
tence about his ancestors coat
of-arms and never spent though
on his posterity's coat-of-.jeans
You see Mr.. Beasley has a hare
row to weed. There is Mr.. War
ner, of Marshall county, anothe
"low-tax man." as Mr.. Beasle,,
calls it-he always was polite
who, they say, wants the place
and Mr.. Tolley, of II don
know where Mr.. Tolley is from
exactly. They tell it down hi
way that there was some sort Of
agreement between Lincoln
Franklin, Moore and Marshall
that Lincoln was to have tn
Senator the first term, Franklin
next, and so on. Well, Tolle,,
was in the Legislature from Lin
coin, and when bis session wa
out, moved to Franklin ant
"scooped" the Senatorship from
there, then got into Moore, ant
"took it agin hissef"- sprightl,,
boy, that Tolley-and he has s.
mixed things that. each Speake
had to designate him differently
Tolley of Franklin has succeede,
Tolley of Lincoln, and FOLEY OF
Moore has succeeded Tolley OF
Franklin, with such .marvelou
unexpectedness, until | only know
the fellow-I can't locate him
But if you'll tell me which coun
ty is entitled to the Senator, mex
time, under the programme, III
tell you where FOLEY lives. Well
it's said that Tolley has raven
Gus eye on Beasley's ''fiesh-pot.
If it's so, and | was Beasley, ]
would just let him take it.
wouldn't run against no sucl
'free niger luck, and hunt
me another one.
Following the bent Of all in
genious minds, ever seeking the
best methods of avoiding a rest
from public service, Mr.. Beas-
ley makes an inquiry that looks
serious at first glance, to this eff
feet: "Why is it necessary to
send repudiationists to Con
gress?" Well--let's see-be-
cause--I don't know, do you?
Unless it is that the general Gov
eminent is better able to bear a
calamity of that sort than a
sparsely settled and poverty
stricken State. But Mr.. Beas-
ley seems to think it ought to be
done, so as to have men in Con-
gress "with their hearts in the
right place." This is error, it's
not the location of that CT
gan that troubles his school Of
statesmen: If they can get their
seats in the right place, they care
little where that other thing vi
hrateS YourS.