Daily Republican. [volume] ([Wilmington, Del.]) 1874-1890, 1880-07-08
FUN AND FROLIC.

In New York tho other day one Of
the street Arabs aeoosted his brother
Arab thus: "Jin., have you got three
cents?" "Yes," replied the latter. and
he produced that amount. Arab No. l
said: 81 will add this to the two
cents have and buy a weed" He
entered store where he purchased
the same-which he perhaps got on
credit and as he emerged putting his
HAVANA, Jim said: Gimme puff,
| have more money in the stock than
you have" eyes," replied No. l,
"you are stakeholder, but | am
President Of the Company-You can
spit while l smoke"
"Wouldn't you like to have a bow"
said the bold young archer as they saun-
tered down the field, and she murmur-
cd "Yes," and the absorbed archer
said, "What kind Of beau would you
prefer 7" She quivsred little as she
replied archly, 81 think should pre-
fer yew."
A newly imported Hungarian, en-
ployed on farm, tilted up a beehive
the other day to see what the bees were
doing under there. He knows now.
He says they were making chain light
nipg and had 1000 tons OF 1t on hand,
which exploded before he had time to
let the COX down.
A succession Of direful shrieks is
heard on the first floor. Fond mother ::
"What ia the matter with Billy ?" Col
ored servant "Please, nam, he is
crying about the jewberries." "He
can't have any more. He has had four
saucersfuls already" "Dem is de ber-
~ ones he is whooping about. He is
all swollen up"
A BOY in the wild West, who for the
first time saw a military company out
for drill with fife and drum, gave his
mother the following account Of the
business: "a little man bowed on his
squealin' stick, and a big man that
stood beside him hammered on his
thunder box; then the boss man pulled
out big long knife, and shook it at
the fellers what was standin' up in a
long row, and they all walked off on
two legs"
A STRANGER passing q churchyard
and seeing hearss standing hard by,
inquired who was dead. The sexton
informed him. ct happened to be q
very unpopular man, "What com
plaintY" asked the inquisitive one.
Said the old man: "There is no COM
plant; everybody is satisfied"
A TENANT had been dancing all night
over the head Of his landlord. At six
in the morning the latter comes up
stairs and complains bitterly Of the
annoyance. "What annoyancea" asked
the tenant. "Why l haven't slept a
wink all night" was the answer.
"Neither have l." said the tenant,
"and yet don't make any fuss about
it,"
An RNaLIsHMAN at q hotel in New
York asked the clerk If there were
"oysters in the hotel" ooh yes" was
the reply; "step right into the res
taurant We don't keep them in the
Office" "Egad |" said Mr.. John Bull,
IL think you misunderstood me, you
know mean oyster, 'lift'-a he'll
levator, maybe you you call it in this
country"
The PR1NrER's sroRy.-We once saw
a Young man gazing at the Fry heav'
lens with in va and a ~ o.
pistols in the other. We endeavored
to attract his a10tion by ling 2 a paper
held in our va. relating to a man IN
that s of the country who left home in
a stS Of arrangement. He dropped the
and pistols from his &ss-s,with tn !:"l'
ia of whom U read. l left home be.
fore my friends knew my design. l 81
the va of girl who refused to hsll
to me, but smiled upon another.
led flom the house, uttering
: wild ! 2 the gods Of love, and without
replying to the rs of my friends, came
here with this I and ~~~~~ of pistols
|. to put an to my xisl0ence. MY case
has no \ in This g."
| A ieweler hung watch in his win
ldow and labelled it: "Look at thi'
watch for &c." and the unsophisticat
ed gentleman from Africa who stared
At the article and then went in anc
wanted the $40. had to get down on tn!
: floor with the jeweler and rell over ant
under him number of times before h
oould be made to understand that h
couldn,t have any so.
, "Drinkwater is dead at last" re
marked Jonesbury, as he entered tn
: house The other evening"" sob, dearp
, exclaimed Mrs. j.; "but then his win
!. dow is left comfortable. He's well of
isn't her" "He is now," remarked
Joresbury, with an emphasis on tn
!, snow" that Mrs. Jonesbury didn
more than half-like. -,
A poor fellow up town fairly dance'
. with ioy when the doctor told him h
q had Bright's disease. "What will tn
Smith girl say now2" he exclaimed
triumphantly. "She always said ther
was nothing bright about me. Oh,
guess not; but the doctors certihcat
: will show what sort ola hair pin l am.
: "a hypoorits," said Sunday sohoe
9 teacher, sis man who makes bsliev
! to be real good when he isn't. some
= times a man will give lot of money
Ia church Just to make people thin
: that he is better than anybody else
!, "Well, my papa amt a hypoorite'
5. spoke up little girl back in the 90
y ner Of the seat, "for he only gives