The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-04-27
HuMDuReIN.

VIM " totu uOWu uuuhCiOuS ttCh
that fool yung doctor and a lot Of en-
played on me the iust OF this month
aud when you see the consequences
maybe you will try iu git sum teller
to make almanicks without any fust
day Of April ia en. Mr. Editure
did you ever see that cuzin fool
doctor of mine2 Well you ainl
missed much. Well sur | do reck.
In he is the dratediat fool you ever
hearn tell Of. don't bleve he's got al
much sence as one ofyour town cove,
but what makes 1t wus, Is he thinks
he's most as smart ss any town doc.
tor
You SEQ Mr.. Editure l have said a
heep TO Malindy bout lettin that are
BIinton fly round with her. I told
her that folks didn't think II looked
nice fur any gal tu be tskln on bout
a stranger what they didn't know
nuthin bout, and 60 on III she got tu
feclin nifty bad over II. Now don't
want yon 10 think wins jclus fur |
wus list talkin to her for her own
gud. 50 after she herd bout him
hsvin o livin wife and sich like, she
felt worser than ever, and | intendi,l
tu tel her that wouldn't mind il II l
wus her, the day we went fshin, II l
hadn', got that drafted duckin.
Well on the fust day OF this muntll
bout s O'Clock, l wus layin off corr,
ground with old Ball ns hard as l
Guild split IL when all at once | herd
suinbody holler nj ME, and | looked
round and thar wus cuzin Dick look.
Ell like he wus goin tu be hu'g.
SEE |. gud mornin Dick. lIe never
said nuthin but notioncd tu mo tu
cum there. seed from the way he
dun that there wus sumthin up, so I
turned old Ball round and drove
back 10 him. Sez he did you know
Malindy had took plzen. No. SCI I 3,
has sae! Well you orier be hung fur
g0in Oh tu her so bout that Blipton,
SEE he. Well sur never said q
mother word iu him, but unhitched
old Ball at once aud jist got on him
and rode rs fast as | Guild tu old man
Stubinses. | wus termined tu Ak
her pardin II | got there afore she
died. When got bout mile from
home, who should l meet but dad
cumin from mill ridip q young hoss,
we'll sur wus goin At full tilt ON
old Bail, aud the geer was making an
awful fuss, (you see l forgot to take
otf the geer,) 80 dads young hoss got
skerd Ut Ball and me and dashed intu
q thickett aud split the old man meal
aud all. As he wus goin snag caut
the end OF the sack and tore the hole
end out Of II, aud bout half his meal
run out. lie hollerd to ine to stop to
AK me what wus the matter, but old
Ball wus under hedway aud ! couldn't
stop the drafted fool. As past old
Jsnkinzes three drafted great big coon
dogs that he keeps cum dashin arter
mc. and old Ball got skerd at EN- and
| culddt no more hold him than nuth.
In, so he didn't take no particular
psins tu keep In tho road but inck tu
the brush with them dogs at Lis heels.
I .eil you II like tu tore my shirt
ofien me and good deal OF my hide.
II kept me 80 bIisy holdin on, fur !
didn't want them dogs to COW NC,
that ! never noticed wher l wus I'll
old Ball run kerslap ayinst old man
Stubbinscs hoss lot gait, and down !,
went, but sum how Que Of the chaini
got fastened tu tile hinge, aud the
old hoss was 90 outner breth, he had
to stop. Well BUR, iher wus all the
family aud sum besides came rnshiil
out tu $50 what the dickens wus up
| reckin they thought II was q train
or something got of the track and
culdnt DO stopped. The old woaan
squallcd out afore she got near
what in the name OF thunder and
litnin IL the matter with you Bill? il
you crazy Z Malindy sez did BAH run
of with you, Billy, or what2 Well
when l had time to think, and seed
Malindy lOokin Nc well aud hearty M
she ever did in her lite, light begun
to dawn OH me as II wcr, and seed
through il all at once. That dralcd
fool Of q Doctor had made q small
size April fool outen even me, but
didn't tell em bout 1t, but jist axed u
OIL Mr.. Stubbins wus asin oil hii
one hoss plows. said dad sent me
over 10 borrow one tu lay OF corr
rows with. She sed she spected
Guild get one, that the old man wui
down In the new ground. | t0la her
would ride down and see 80 | start
ed of that way without oven sayil
good by; I wus so drafted mad l iur'
got 1t. Az soon as got out Of cit.
Of tho house, l struck fur homo ,hrl
the woods, you sec I didn't want u
meet cusin Dick, fur wus afraid
would hurt the drafted fool when
wus mad. When l got home I l,at
tu tell the old man suinthin, so / jis
said old Ball peard TO be little sorte
sick aud / thought l would ride hin
down 10 the creek nnd Civ him som,
water and the tarnel old fool 60
skerd at sumthin, and run of will
me. So you see what Gums Of Apri
| ioolin. Mr.. Editure hate disap
pointin you worse than anything fu
know you would hav been glad /,
come to my weddin, but don't spec
to see that gall agin sune, fur yOl
know that STUART click OF q docto
will tell everybody bout II, and
wouldn't let anybody see me fu
nuthin. an goin to leave this plac
90 soon as can find sum place whe
my talents aud wur,h will be precia
ted. Cant you tell me OF sum beet
what aint got no ritin skule teachers
nor young fool doctors nor colts II
EN-? Maybe sum Of your correspon
dents can, IL yon can, jist let me know
thru the South Kentuckyan. hs
always been IN bad luck In this beel
and am termin TO leave here soor
! So good by Mr. Editure, you won
here from me no more from this beei
But afore l quit I jist want to ss,
jist sich ioolery as wus played on M
helps to make old maids, old bachelors
orphent children, aud sich like. s.
no more frum your friend I'll death
IL then. Bill RoGUs.
p. Sill she polygizes and want
10 mako It up agin, would II be COZ
din to the fashun and the like tu d