Morris tribune., 1880-09-16
Sense and Nonsense.

AN amount of blood equal to the whole
quantity of the body passes through the
heart every minute.
THE weight of the heart is from eight |
to twelve ounces. It beats 100, 900 times
in twenty -four hours.
THE skin contains more than 1000, 600
openings, which are the outlets for an
equal number of sweat glands.
THERE are more than 900 separate
muscles in the body. and an equal num-
Der of nerves and blood vessels, ,....
FAMOUS Judge came late to court
One day In busy season;
Whereat his clerk, In great surprise,
Inquired of him the reason.
"A child was born, !" his Honor said,
"Aa infant J si S1RP' son. Oh, no. said hi.
"As vet he's but q crier."
AS SOON as the color-blind pilots are
all discharged man with a red nose
can walk on the Mississippi river banks
without having the steamboats, whistling
to him.
WHILE Leadville lawyer was cross
examining a woman who was on the wit
ness-stand, she exclaimed: "Im a
lady, and by thunder don't you for
get it,
WHAT is the difference between le-
gal document and q cat? One has
pauses at the end of its clauses, and the
other has claws-es at the end of its
paws-es.
THE latest cure for dyspepsia is to eat
q raw onion without salt for three sue
cessive nights before retiring. We should
say that the remedy was quite as bad as
the disease. .s.--..... .............
The Consolidated Virginia mine did
not pay the expenses Of working until
after the expenditure of 800, 600. Then
it yielded $50, 100000 dividends to its
stockholders in four years. n 3,
An old widower says, when you pop
the question to lady, do it with kind
of laugh, as If you were joking. IF she
accepts you, very good; If she does not,
you can say You were only in fun. y
| " Ny dear, said an anxious matron to
her daughter, Sc its very wrong for young
people to be throwing kisses at each
other" "Why SO, mamma? Tn sure
they don't hurt, even if they do hit.
| FATHER" But Charley, again I see
ley" Yes, papa, it is high. time that
you had serious talk with the teacher,
or else he'll keep on that way forever"
A CITIZEN of Plymouth, Ind, fired
six shots at a supposed burglar, and
then his wife called out : "See here,
Sam, if you don't stop shooting at me
you'll have the house full of neighbors. "
LADIES who wear sealskin sacks are
very liable not to wear them, for in Bel
| GUM rabbit-skins are successfully pre-
pared to resemble sealskin, and thou
sands of rabbits are annually killed in
| England whose pelts go to Belgium, and
leave that country as genuine sealskins.
ONLY one-tenth of the human body is
solid matter. A dead body weighing
100 pounds was dried in an oven until all
moisture was expelled, and its weight
was reduced to twelve pounds. Egyptian
mummies' bodies are thoroughly dried.
They usually weigh about seven pounds.
ARABEL1A (on her toes In chair,
clutching convulsively at her skirts
cob! Bridget A mouse mouse |!
Come and catch it, quick!" Bridget
"Shure, mum, there's no hurry. If this
one gets away, I can catch plenty more
for yer, mum"
Grief and Business.
| [Epitaph in a French Cemetery.l
| Here Lies
| Nine Bertrand,
Wife of
NJ Bertrand, marble-cutter.
This monument is specimen of his work.
Cost, 1,50O francs.
TIE English language is rich in syn
onymous terms. A mechanic in search
of work is scout of iob;" clerk in the
same predicament is +" disengaged," and
professional man similarly placed is
sat leisure" The mechanic gets work,
the clerk " connects himself with some
establishment, and the professional man
resumes practice.
MAG1sTRATE-"It seems, prisoner,
that you took Is pence from the prose
cutor's till. Now, put it to you seri-
ously; was it worth your while to risk
your character, your liberty, your whole
future for such tride ?" Prisoner
Certainly not, your Worship; but did
not know there was not more In the till
4 took all there was"
To KEEP BREAD Mo1sT.-Have the
dough stiff when it is set for the last ris-
ing. The larger the proportion of -four
to that of moisture in the dough the
longer it will keep moist. After the
bread is baked and cold put it in tin
box or an earthen jar with close cover.
and keep it covered tightly. Bread thus
made and kept cool and always from the
air will last and be moist for a week.
+ CoRN-MEAL PUDDNG.- Five table.
spoonfuls of corn-meal, one quart Of
milk, five eggs, two tablespoonful Of
! sugar Tor to the taste); boil one pint Of
milk and stir In the meal until thick
: then pour in the remainder of the milk
: eggs (wel beaten) and the sugar, add
ing raisins or currants, if liked. Bake
until good brown, and eat with cream
) or q hard sauce of butter and sugar.
/ A PROVIDENCE lady visited store tt
j purchase pair of gloves. She tried OF
D one or two pairs before become salts
? fed. A lew days afterward she missed {
!. valuable gold ring from her finger
o Search was made for it without success
: and it was finally given up as lost. Al
the expiration of nearly year she wen
4 into the same store again on the same
: errand as before. In the finger Of tn.
;; first pair she tried ON she found he
: long-lost ring, where she left it in draw
ing off the glove q year ago.
= THE name Esquire originally signifies
q warrior armed with q shield and jave
!. lin. Under the Roman Emperors it wa
, given to soldiers to whom was assigned
!, the defense Of the palace and person o
: the Emperor. The name was adoptet
IN France to designate those holding tn,
J, first rank in the army. In the age o
chivalry the rank of Esquire followet
that of valet or page, and was the las
S1fo L
the honor of Knighthood in England