The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-09-07
rnE aYNEcoLoaIcAL AssooIATION

A day or two ago the HERALD had among
itA press dispatches the announcement tina
the genealogical association had met
genealogical was sumner to us and w
presume to great many of. our readers. Will
the aid Of dictionary or two We were ena
ble1 to discove. that II was something per
tanning to women. Thoughts Of soross
women's rights conventions and things o
that genera flashed through our mind, bu
continuing our Investigations and researches
we learned that this association had for 1T
object the consideration of the diseases pecu'
liar to the feminine sex, and the best way to
ameliorate and eradicate their sufferings,
That such an association Is worthy of all
praise, of all encouragement and Of all assist
ance so far as in the general public the
power lays, even the most hardened wretch
will concede. The question is, does this
association embrace in the scope of its labors
all the ailments of lovely women, 10
one we should like to be enlightened
upon. For instance, there is gggling. This
Is complaint that commences in the sex at
about the age Of twelve, and the period of
gigglehood continues for from seven to ten
years. In some instances II strikes in and then
it is incurable. 1t RACES violently in female
boarding.schools, and the unfortunate vici ms
Of the disclose always experience an attack
when strangers are about, or visitors call.
And then, when the school days are over the
young sufferers, be they pretty or homely,
and there are very, very few who are homely,
especially if their papas have good bank ac-
counts, the giggle manifests itself at soirees
balls, picpics, theatrical performances, on
sparkling occasions and even in church. II is
maady that the genealogical association
ought by all means to gra,ely consider. And
then, there is another epidemic that RACES
among the dear creatures OF ''swect sixteen
and under, aye, and even over, whenever
they get beyond that age and that is chew.
ing spruce gum and tolu and wax. This. is
q fearful disease, but it is pre- sumable that ii
comes in the natural course of things. The
female must, in obedience to an implacable
law oc nature, work her jaw,
and the chewing of gums loosens the joints
and makes the maxillary muscles suppl.
After year or two of gum-chewing, even
the most ordinary female can flag her jaw
like q fail and "chaw" most any fellow up.
Banging that is most prevalent COM
plant. 1t breaks out on the forehead or
just above it, and hangs like fringe of SER
pentne horrors on alabsster brows, but then
it does hide freckles sometimes. There is
another sad ailment the sisterhood is afflicted
with, that is very noticeable. 1t appears in
such MS "do give us a rest" you
BET your sweet life;" shat is the kind of
lair pin am" swell really" "oh, shoot the
tockirgs," "aren't he justtoo sweet to live
nd numerous others of simalar nature.
These are ills that should be looked fter,
veil diagnosed and system of ameloration
f not of cure, eliminated from the pharma-
,opa. We haven't much faith in this
genealogical association, however, made up
rs it is of stuhy, bald.headed,
abdomenical old physicians. They
IAN never do anything that will even
approximate good towards an eradication
Of these complaints. To break up the all.
nents we have enumerated, and the chsrac-
.eristics of which we have epitomized, along
with that other we failed TO mention before,
swinging on gates, can never be accom-
pli'hed except by genealogical association
If handsome. darling young men. All
genealogical association made up of men,
Ders all under thirty years of age, with side
whiskers, dear ducks of mustachios, and
ambrosial locks parted in the middle, would
DO IL God'send to suffering fem'ninity. They,
and they alone, know how to treat the
attacks Of which we have spoken. They
could diagnose and handle any of these
cases in minute. Veterinary surgeons
prescribe mash otentimes for sick horses,
and sour mash is sometimes administered to
suffering man, but genealogical "mash,'
such as we suggest, alone would seem to
be the thing to help the suffering young
women of the land