Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-04-01
sips Of Fun.


Cut her head off.
In writing a letter inclosing u
subscription to this paper, you
may write OH both sides of the
paper if you want to.
i Such is man's great love for
life that he would sooner live
and be dunned every hour than
die and be independent. i1yi
A Conlieeticut man kept a
roll Of butter in his we'll for
thirty-fonr years and found that
the hair,in it had turned gray.
'Ayhy is it easier to be bad
than to be good % asks a Buff
falo paper. we pass the query
along to some one who is being
bad.
Preserved seats twenty-five
cents" said the boy paying a
quarter to the tailor for enough
goods to put on a patch when it
was needed. aod n3I aa
1t is not generally believed
that David was an Incorporate
man, but, nevertheless, he called !
for a .'sling," SO the facts are
against him. 'iii.'l oi.'' 80
A conyersative old man. said
he didn't like the way ,hisyoung-
est celebrated her wooden we'd
ding, because she did it by mar
rying a blockhead. saIr .fF
1t is said that Tennyson, the
poet, sometimes spends hours
upon a single line. A Nevada
horse-thief has been known 10
do the same thing. }mg
A politician died recently and
his family requestedtheir friends
not to send flowers to the funeral.
They were satisfied with the
blossoms on his nose.
1t is said that "butter a thou
sand years old has been found
in peat bog in Ireland. . But
what's the use of going away
over there, for that brand of
butter !? 4i tedt i
Members of the Anti-Profan-
ity Society, of Savannah, Ga, /
wear a white badge. This is TO
distinguish them from the blue
streak that some people swear,
probably. 9a lso
"No human being is cipher" !"
says 2 Western EDITOR. True,
but a great many human beings
get on the wrong side of the ci- :
pher, and become decimals Of ;
the hundredth degree. r,iu
Charles Read says that all |
children should be taught to ]
have presence of mind, but !
haven't they got it. Catch ali
boylinthe sugar-box and isn't {
he looking for flies ?li2Ho1iii 972a $
: "What is tho. chief end, Of !
man ?" yelled an excited orator. :
a Ia Joseph Cook. I"Death,n9 ,
groanef a man in the audience,
and the orator started new CO. !
nundrum, .,t,,> u r. N
Did it ever occur TO you why
a lawyer who is conducting a
disputed will case is like a tra-
peze performer in a circus /? !
Didn't? Well, it's because he
flies throughthe herr with the {
greatcstof fees. 'a' - \. !
& A proud man who failed in !
business and found his assets l
would pay only Is cents on the 4
dollar, insisted, Tor, the looks of I
the thing, on paying twenty-five '
cents even if he had to make up G
the difference out Of his own g
pocket.d 20 l2U 9di naH tdg c
! The life Of a Wisconsin. wo-
man was saved by a locket a.
round her neck, the bali her :
fired at her striking it !.
and glancmg. off. We print
this fact1n order to start a boom !
in the jcwelry business. :
A Pittsburg man smuggled a a
set of false teeth into parlor i
where a lot of ladies were col p
lected, and, pretending to find it c
on the floor, asked who owned o
it, and every woman present had
a different way of twisting her
lips to show her own teeth, wheI
she spoke to say il was not hers. S
'Doctor, my mother-in-law is !
very hard of hearing, and her :
eyesightis is bad. II you can cure !, |
her Of these defects / will give =
you half of my fortune" The ! !,
doctor looked at the son-in-law !.
and was about to speak, when
the latter added: "and will give ("
you two-thirds of my fortune if \
you can deprive her of the pow :,
er of speech" !
Boston girls are said to culti-
vate a serio-comic, style of re- c
partee. Perhaps they do, but h