The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-11-18
Gossip.

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The Kentucky goose bone pre-
diets a cold fall.
When a man is crusty can he b
considered in apple pie order2
A Toledo citizen pours hot waite
down his wife's back because sh,
won't join his church, but they
don't do that IN Brooklyn.
Josh Billings says, II thank the
Lord that there is one thing in this
wurld that money kant buy, and
that is the wag ov dogs tale"
The cutter in large tailoring
house in New York says that hard
ly one man in fifty is of well-bal
anced shape. Writers, he says, are
low In one shoulder and seemingly
short in one leg, the arm on the
misshapen side being apparently
longer than the other. Butchers, he
says, have usually low left shout
der, and violinists are high IN one
shoulder.
"Here, lend US a hand, some
body" cried good little Billy, strug-
Cling to climb over the back fence
to run away to the circus. And his
kind father, who happened to be
near and heard him, came up and
lent him hand about the size of a
sugar-cured ham, sixteen or seven
teen times. Billy will try to get
along alone.-[ Burlington Hawk
eye.
What is a reasonable length of
timer Exchange, Don't know;
but an unreasonable length of time
is etwo minutes" For instance: A
Young man calls to take his girl out
riding or to church, and she leaves
the room with the remark, "Tll be
ready in two minutes" Her two
minutes are the longest half hour
the young man ever experienced.
i Norristown Herald. M
A Danville paper tells of a man
who tainted dead away while being
measured for suit of clothes. 1t
was not SO much on account of the
novelty of the thing as the fact that
he happened to glance up at the
back end of the store and saw the
legend, mo Trust" Clothing deal
ers should have more regard for the
health of their customers. The
dreary sign, "Terms Cash." has
Frustrated many fair and "prom-
Using" youth Norristown Herald.
Captain Bates and his wife, form
erly the giants of Barnum's show,
recently made the overland journey
from San Francisco. They are each
nearly eight feet long, and the
sleeping car berths are only six. In
order to secure a comfortable bed
they took the opposite sections,
connected the upper berths with an
adjustable piece and laid themselves
crOsswise Of the car, the other pas
sengers kindly consenting to the
partial obstruction Of the passage
at night.
Says the New York Commercial
Advertiser: THE Buffalo Express
wants to know who invented kiss
ing. We don't think it was ever in
vented; it just came kind o. natural,
like shock of sugar coated cleo
tricity. Our first mother, in her
maiden innocence, asked Adam to
tell her if her bsck hair was all
right, and we presume he couldn' t
help it. We couldn't if we had been
Adam, and the girls mother away
at prayer meeting"
An intelligent dog had for a long
time been sent to butcher shop at
Norwalk, Ohio, to buy meat for him
self every morning. He always
brought a five-cent piece in his
mouth and laid it down on the
block. One day he deposited ST.
instead, and wagged his tail with
unwonted vigor, as though expect
ing a proportionately larger chunk
of meat. An investigation proved
that, his master having gone away,
he had broken into the money
drawer and helped himselfto coin.
When a young man is seen walk
ing with young lady in rain
storm and protecting her with the
better part of his umbrella it is safe
to conjecture that he intends max
ing her his bride. If she was a rel
alive or the darling of somebody
else, she would get no more than
half of the umbrella, and would be
fortunate to get that much. But
when a middle-aged or elderly man
is seen under like circumstances
with lady of about his own years
and giving her little or no protec-
tion with his umbrella, you can risk
fortune on their being married.
Justice Smith said, on opening
bis court at Cornersville, Tenn.
william Henry Smith is arraignsC
-sspiting his father" The
LOT as lad on the previous day
mag lsslsse father down with {
Climb, and It was h, '"self that hs was
now srraigning, He ~sya on
sThe evidence Is conclus -
I'm not sure but | ought to
myself to Jail for ten days. But. as
this is my first ofense, and / GER
tainly had a good deal of provoca-
ton. 1 will simply impose fine of
$40.
Rev. Mr.. Genufux fell down
stairs last Sunday morning with 8
flower vase in one hand. pitcher
of water in the other, lamp globe
under his arm and china SANGER
tucked in his coat pocket. He was
trying to carry all these things
down stairs and he succeeded But
when he got them to the bottom
and his anxious wife screamed from
the head of the stairs TO know IL hC
bad broken anything. he took al
account of the stock and calmly re
ported that "he had broken every
thing but the Sabbath" THE only
thing" petulantly commented his
careful and economical wife, "thai
we could afford 10 break. - Bur