The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1880-05-14
PASSING SMILES.

4 HE ihtesl agony dt thltc
a. m.
A MlIsFITTING coat is lie out the
whole cloth.
How long does widower mourn for
his wife? For second.
THE cause OF woman suffrage moves
slowly-but it moves.
THE hen knows the man who robs her
nest. She is always laying for him.
A DOG which won't run from an ele-
phant will break his back to get away
from an oyster can.
A QUEER old hen declined an invita-
tion to gander party recently, for the
reason that the ganders did not belong
to her set.
AN exchange speaks OF the reboom-
itizatioh." The fine for shooting the
English language full of holes has got
to be increased.
TRYING to do business without adver-
tising is like winking at girl in the
dark. You may know what you are
doing, but nobody else does.
THE Oil City Derrick informs an IN.
quisitive correspondent that cremation
is recently adopted method of firing
eople out of this world.
A RICH and eccentric Partisan has
concluded search for some new pleas
ure by establishing private circus for
the amusement OF himself and friends.
A MAN who offered for 50 to put any
one on the track of paying investment
seated an applicant between the rails of
the Boston and Albany Railroad.
harn lnxn ftvf 20 ~
Sit on my knee my dear,
And sew this coLlr-button on
Before bust your ear.
THREE days aftera baby is born every
body says, Ketchetty, ketchetty,"
and digs its ribs with fore6nger.
Hence the prevalence Of ill.temper in
adults.
A MICHIGAN boy committed suicide
because his mother scolded MIN for
smoking. It's cheerful to remember
that there is another world where every
body smokes.
WORTH makes the man, but it takes a
wheelwright to make the felloe. Hack
insack Republican. Spoke in like a gen
tleman. How proud your wife must be
of her hubW
JUST bear this truth in mind boys,
and ponder at your will: It's better 70
owe your tailor forever than beat him
out of his bill And that's what the
boys are doing.
"PHAT will ye do, Dennis, avic, when
the Chinase 60? viii ye wurrak?'
Wurrak, is il? The divil wurrak,
when l can get enuf omadhauns TO pay
me for bowling"
A GERMAN traveller in Africa char
acterizes people he came across as ''in-
tensely black, dolichocephalic, and rla-
tyrhine, prognathous, dichotomatic anI
dolichodoctylic."
KEENNEss of taste is great thing. A
Buffalo man who drank a glass of
whisky in Albany said he thought there
was no trouble with the liquor, but that
there had been water in the tumbler.
AN Illinois man, after living six
months in house, found bag of dead
rats in clothes-prcss. He thought the
smell came from greenhouse lew
doors away.
IT'S easyl BY reversing dog, we
make god By reversing q rat, we
make tar BY reversing pot, we
make topl But, show us the man who
does not get mad when there is dam to
be reversed.
A JUNIOR was heard TO remark on a
recent Sunday, after Professor had
preached an eloquent sermon: That
was splendid sermon. Gadl A hum
dred and eight single gestures and thir-
teen doublep
ANNETTA, | am going to have com"
panY," says belle Of the Rue Breda to
her maid, "and want you to go TO the
fish market and get some fish, some of
the best" "Yes'm." "Only don't buy
them from ma--she'll swindle you"
MOTHER, is my chignon periect2
Shape my panier--hx my sashJ-
Johnny's coming In the cleaning,
-Ottalcd Republican.
He sat beside her on an old sofa, and
one of the wire coils shot up through
the covering, punctured his garments,
and went in among the nerves and
things. She thought he was becoming
insane when he jumped six feet into the
invisible ether and yelled "the spring
has come, by Jovep
A YOUNG actress urges her friend,
Count x, to give her splendid brace,
let she had long set her mind upon pos
sessing. -'Pll give it to you" says the
Count, finally, "but on.one condition
you must never wear it on the stage.
My wife might zee it if you did" "Oh,
1 see--and raise rowg No; make
me buy her one like it."
HaaIfhv pronat.fv of Oni0na.