The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-12-16
They had mt an abOminahI scoun

Hi!l'uR' ACuiiS ilai, icHlcIlpeE LlltS
-Trdcc{icr.
They had put an abominable scoun-
drel on trial on a charge Of highway
robbery and murder.
"Prlsoncr," says the Judge, COX
plain your action and its motive to
these gentlemen"
The Prisoncr-Wcll, you see, gen
tlemen, the TACT Is had lost my head
The Judge ficetiously)- Already,
ehP
"HAvE you given electricity a trial
e mlnsfer ffern" Al liz took FaSm sa ~ wthP hPsfGG fGa
old lady, "E!ectricity!" SAID she,
"Wcll, yes, reckon I has. was
struck by lightning last summer a. d
hove out Of tho window, but it didn't
seem to do no sort of good"
VI DON'T believe much in history, -
said Il modern miss, :and particularly
the history OF Cinderella. In my opin.
ION there meyer was any such a person. ~
lhereupon she went to tho looking
glass amp powdered herself fnrlouslv
IN vain attempt to conceal the TOT
brilliant color which had been pro.
dnred by her efforts TO get ona No. s
shoe.
Ilow DO you pronounce .-t-l-n g-y p
Professor Stearns askcl the young
gentleman nearest the foot Of the class
And smart bad boy stood up and said
H. depended good deaf whether the
word applied to man or a bee. Go IL
tie head young fellow.
A LITTLE girl, aged three, went to
church lately to sec Il christening
When, on her rnturn, she was asked
what she thought OF the baby, she re-
plled: "lt was a good baby 1t did not
when the gentlemen washed Its head.'
a DISTINCTION: Mrs. .JOnes-'tWhere
were You working before you came
here?" Bridget-"I was Wurkin' for
woman that has hig house on Bush
street, an shure there was q mother
lady workin' there too.
n REPORTER who attended a banquet
concluded his description with the can
did statement that, cit Is not distinctly
remembered by anybody present who
made the last speech"
"THAr's what call a flushed ser.
mon," said q lady to her husband, as
they wcnded their way from church
Eyes" was tho reply, "but do YOU
know l never thought it Ould be-"
SAYS q religious exchanges: The
angelic innocence ofa higher lite is
reflected in baby's face" How true
this is,unless the nurse has imprudent.
ly trusted it with a molassos jug.
IT Is said that bnby will cry nc
harder II pin IS stuck Into him than
he will If the cat won't let him pull
her tail. 1t Is, therefore, cheaper to
pin him.
CoNsoLINa: Poor Author-"Heav
ena,w what pain there is In my head p
His wiic-"Complaining Of thatP You
ought to be thankful there is anything
In it,"
THE hardest thing in the world for a
young woman t" do ia to look uncon-
cerned the first time she comes out in
a handsome engagement ring.
NEvEr does man believe so strong
ly In the attraction Of gravitation as
when no sits down on chair and
finds 1t gone.
WHAT does = woman want to put
on gloves In hot weather for?" asks a
male subscribcr. Way, to keep her
hand in, stupid.
MANY preachers seek to impress their
hearers with the fact that lite Is short,
but forget It In their sermons.
..ss....s.-..s.........-r
TliE gentlemen who essayed to SER
'n"de NJ Miss. /. a few evenings since.
should have had clear throats. and
their efforts would have been better
appreciated. DR.. Bnll's Cough Syrup
8 the best remedy extant for a thick,
or congested condition Of the Throat
md Bronchial Tubes, giving instant
'elief.