The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1880-05-28

AS lazy tramp came down the street
With free and easy gate,
This welcome sigh his eyes did greet:
Free chops to those who wait.''
''Now here, :" he said, ''I'Il get some food,
Without the slightest tax -
But they led him to pile of wood,
And handed him an ax.-Boston Times
When the Greeks were about to sail
fer Troy, Menelaus brought bundle OF
straw and put it carefully away in his
cabin. "What is that for ?'' asked
Agamemnon. "To tell us The direc-
tiob of the breeze" answered Meme
laus. "Yon're crazy 20 said Nestor
"Why," remarked Menelaus, 'sdon't
straw show which way the wind
blows ?''-Petck;
A spirit of restftll content,
Creeps over the happy man who
Can cash ali the checks that he draws.
And has not thing else to do.
But persons have noticed that this
Calm spirit of restful content
Busts mp whenever its owner
Sits down on pin that is bent.
A Boston clergyman recently in
troduced Beecher to an audience as "the
genius next 20 Shakespeare" Perhaps
this was what wrought up the Boston
Globe to declare that Henry Wards
new lecture "skips the Elizabethan
era"
Prince Leopold will come as far west
as ST. Louis, but will not venture across
the plains lie has no desire to see the
Yosemite and the metropolis ott The sun
set seas. Some day he will be older
and wiser.
Memphis has completed the building
of fifteen miles of sewers, and contem-
plates many other important sanitary
Improvements, which is better than
being grand hospital for yellow-tever
patients.
The Imperialists Of France have cor
clttded to recognize Prince Charles Bona
parts as their leader instead OF Prince
Jerome. The latter is not sufficiently
sound on religious questions I: is not
matter of much importance Jerome
will be saved from some expense and
considerable bother, and France will
continue republic.
IL practical lite love at first sight il
not usually 80 satisfactory in its results
IS it is in novels and operas. A Fort
Wayne belle who married a carpet-layer
after an acquai ntancc of but a few hours
was left destitute in ST. Louis within a
week, robbed even ofher jeweIry. She
returned home deeply humiliated.
A question of great local public in
terest is thus decided by the Bodie
Ne,cs ga faro dealer will not redeem
checks in the middle of deal or while
shuffiing the cards, but will give out
checks at any stage of the game
The locusts have appeared in str org
force in Southern Russia, creating
extreme alarm. The Czar should send
them to Siberia. They are more to be
dreaded than Nihlists.
To be an American citizen is becom.
ing cheap privilege III New York city.
In an investigation now in progress here,
several witnesses testified that they had
their papers handed to them on the
street, or sent uurequested TO their
houses. Such generous style of DEAL
ing out political rights is much 10 be
questioned.
| A prominent charity organization Of
London lad 81 AS applications for re-
lief last year, and ascertained that
nearly one-halt of them represented
fraudulent cases. It is doubtful If as
much genuine distress exists iu any
large city as excited humanitarians sup.
pose.
A farmer, residing at Los Nietoe, Los
Angeles county, ia recorded on the
Great Register as Joseph Green Berry
Henry Marcus cassius Brutus Cross
| Harpner. Under this infiiction he has
shown great vitality, being now 81
years of age and in good health.
The Benton Blade says q anntton
sheep raised by James Cross of Kings
valley, weighed when dressed III lbs.
We are told 'stke evening wore on
but we are never told what the even.
ing wore on that occasion. Was II
the close OF summers day?
"Sanr, why are lawyers like fishes r
"I don't meddle viii de snbjecs. Pomp.'
i"Wby. don't yon seer Cause dey am
J so fond Ob debate"