davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06

\ Toronto despatch SAYS Il !. E'll"ri,
A. u. Hclf"rl aul Jiino- ,lirl punl-l' r- tn, i.0,
and Tufontn, have a-sIUurd.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06

BRIGHT THOUGHTS or FUNNY MEN.

BRIGHT THOUGHTS or FUNNY MEN.
Professor passive action of mus
cles Is particularly marked in the case Of
birds. who clutch their perch merely in
consequence of theiI~bodily weight. In
removing = fowl from hen-roost, Won
have doubtless. found it necessary to lift
it. and" tclass see the pointl.-1ctG
CO,tmbicua.
\ Chicago man took out his new trotter
and speeded him on the boulevard the
ether day After putting the nag through
at his hest gait for = quarter stretch. the
owner proudly wheeled up to police
man on the track and asked: why don't
Won arrest me for fast driving, old fell
low The officer only replied. grutiiy !:
NO cause. sir Won hain't drove fast
'nough yet to violate no ordinance, sir. y"
The citizen is advertising a fine trotter
for sale in ali the city newspapers to-day.
-fhicago journal.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06

At the Norfolk county, Massachusetts,
conference of Congregational ministers at
Brocktcn. Tuesday afternoon. canvass re-
suited as follows: For Grant, Blaine. } ;
Bristow, l J.; Washburne /: Edmunds, Is.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06
There was . fair maiden Al Nassar
IN drawing 10 one could surplss her;
Sle drew Ike Lorraine.
Both very long train
And check teat asiani~hcd the cashier.

A gentleman accidentally steps on Il
dainty poodle led by an elegant woman,
''Siupid! \ little more and You would
have crushed Fido." 'Ahl if | had
crushed him 1 would have replaced him. -
You flatter yourself.
Said one Of society's smart ornaments
to a lady friend. This is leap year. and
[ suppose You'll he asking somebody to
marry you?" '-Ch. no, was the reply.
.'my finances won't permit me To support
a husband. oil City Derrick.
There Is an American artist, not yet -
years old. who has already received or
ders from the prince of Wales. other
members of the royal family and any
quantity Of dukes. earls and marquises.
The orders are not to show his head in
their presence again. BOstoR Hcra'd.
The young ladies Of Washington are
debating how they shall effectively re-
buke the ill-bred men who stare at them
in the street ears and stages. Easy
enough. Poke the point Of your parasol
handle into their eyes. \ man. no matter
how ill-mannered he may be, loses his APP
petite for staring after he has an eye
punched out three or four times. Or the
voune ladies' might .-NorrjStOsgJi
Heratd
4 professor Of craniology remarks that
hat-dealers who have been in the busi-
ness fifty years say they find less diff
Guilty in fitting the heads of farmers sons
than they did a quarter of a century ago.
And they attribute it to improved agri-
cultural machinery Twenty five years
ago farmers boys always wore three or
four humps the size OF hens eggs on their
heads. superinduced by practising with
the old-fashioned fail
Calcraft, the London hangman. who
has Just died. had II wonderful antipathy
to reporters. At hanging in Newgate,
Just before he was leaving his trade, he
remarked to distinguished member of
the fourth estate. Il wish l had tie
stringing up of one Of You beggars Of re-
porters before | chuck it up" One occa-
sionally meets with men OF depraved
tastes.
You can't fool Quincy girl. When
her ''fellow" rises from his seat in the
theatre, between the acts. and saws, II I'll
he back in a moment" she dazzles him
with one Of her most reliable smiles, and
pulling him back. with the remark, Il
brought some with me, coyly slips into
bis hand pinch of cloves or roasted cof-
fcc.-Ef.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06

In one sense it may he said that no State
has any claim To the Presidency but as
political matters 20. Vermont has as good Il
claim as any other State. and if she offers
the most suitable candidate. she has the best
claim Senator Edmunds is one of the fore
most lawyers and statesmen that this coun-
try has ever produced. II he represented Il
great Stale like New ! urI, Pennsylvania,
Ohio. or Illinois. his candidacy would he III
evItahlc But as the ability 10 carry the
electoral vote of .reai and pivotal States is
one Of the most influential consi,., rations
that govern nominating conventions. where
is the man. we would respectfully inquire.
who can carry more Of these necessary votes
than Senator EdmundS: Though he has
been an active and aggressive statesman,
and has dealt on, thrllsiS and blows right
and left in the thick important national
fights for years, he has aroused no personal
antagonisms, created no unhcaling wounds,
left no ranking bitterness behind. New
York considers him to day with more univcr-
sal favor than she does any niaa II her OWN.
able and distinguished as several of her
statesmen are.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06

IS strange tha, state that can put for
ward 4 statesman like Edmund; should n-t
support him first last, and all the limc. In
Tia. li"hl of the trades, ln,r@ucs and personal
pressure of the three prominent candidates
lor the Presidency il wonld hr a wise pro
ccrdin. inthrnw them all overheard and nom
mate a lnnn like Mr. ldnnnds, who has n"
clinrd To enter the pit and attempt (" ''ii>
things WI,r"nLac WIS., S,AtH,i
What makes the Milwaukee S'0tiai ihinl,
that Vermont wnuld not support Mr.. Ia
munls iiisi, last, and all the time We do
not liinL that Mr Edmunds is without honor
in III own STATE, or that hc or his friends
have any occasion 10 complain of any want
OF hrlrincss in the support accorded TO him
hy the Republicans nr Ncrmont. They are
substantially a unit in their admiration Of
his eminent abilities, and prid'' in his un-
spotted reputation and lhcy would vote for
him for President, with uuanimity and
cordially which NJ other candidiic can
command. Il is not possible thin. that =
drh.,alion can b. -rnl tu thiCIuo from this
state, which will mol rccotni2c and r,prc-
sent this feeling
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06
The Presidential Question.

The Brattleboro PAGHis. has very scnsi-
bic article on the Presidential question.
After pronouncing the third term bus.tboo'
to bc 'all nonsense" and also expressing the
opinion that the Republicans of Vermont
are not ready at present TO ''hoom
unqualiliedly for any candidate, The PAraLr
says:
No man in the country POSSESSES more
eminent qualifications for the next l'rcsi-
dcncy than does Nermonl's h0norcd Senator,
Hon George F. Edmunds. Nor is this feel
ing in regard to Mr. Edmunds confined 10
the people of Vermont. Outside th.' State
many of the best and strongest men III the
Republican party are expressing their warm
admiration for Mr.. EdmumdS, and cherish
ing 4 secret hope. if nothing more. that the
course of events may bring about his nnmi-
nation al Chicago. Mr. Edmunds has been
tried in the fire of public service, ~ few
men are tried, and has never been found
wanting. \ man of the most pronounced
and outspokcn convictions. and never avoid
ing an active part in measures Of public
policy. he has vet carried himself IN that
spirit of impartiality and un!linchin@ lntcS-
ritv, that he has alicnatci no class oi men,
nor gained the ill-wil of any section oi the
country. lie comes from Il small State, OF
little comparative influence. bu; his eminent
services. and his commanding wcll-roundcd
character. belong To the whole United States
If nominated. he would. beyond Il perad-
venture, have the support alike of the
.'salwart." conservative. and Independent
wings of his party. No resident of the
great pivotal State of New York. 1t is
freely conceded. could SO surely carry that
State as would Mr.. EtlmundS.
Under these circumstances the Republicans
of Vermont would fail Of their duty, and be
untrue t1 their manhood. should they pre-
maturcly commit themselves TO any other
candidate, or fail to use all proper means to
keep Mr.. Edmunds'S name before the coun-
try. In no case should Vermont dclcga-
ton be sent To Chicago under positive in
structions" for any man. If our delegation
is representative of the people of The State,
in fact, rs well as in name, il will 20 into
that convention prepared. first of all, 10
make known its confidence in Mr.. EtlmundS,
and to use every honorable means 10 bring
his name 10 the favorable attention of the
convention After that, there being no
possibility of Mr.. Edmunds's nomination,
the delegation will help TO nominate the best
man whom ii is possible To unite upon.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06

There We're three sailors of Bristol city
VINO took boat and wen; To sea
But FRS; with beef and captains hlscuits
ANA picked pork they loaded she.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-02-06

She wore a bylirl ulster cioak.
All huiiOned down before,
\ standing collar. and the tie
think was red she wore.
\ Jockey hat sal on her hose
Sne carried a rattan.
Aud all who saw her couldn't ten
7THHan Na.NH "a.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-07-09

"A sReSial dispatch to the Cincinnati
Co0mereciaa says the negroes off, AZ
lanta, Ga, hayc already organized three
Hancock climbs, and u number OF others
will Do fOrmedsn 'sThe colored people,"
says the COMMERCIALS correspondent,
''are quite as unanimous for Hancock,
if not more so, than tho white Rf>(o5
Gratis. ~ This is saying good deal I6sf
the whites of Georgia are so lanahi mdus
that NO Garfield man cam be found
among them What with the ;unani,,
NIFTY Of the white and tho nnanimity
of the blacks, 1t seems likely that
Georgia will do even better than she
did In 1S76,-N o. Democrat.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-07-09
- EDUCATIONAL,
T OUIsIANA STATE UNIVERSITY
81. ".l'' o. r,s AND Us. ~ -.
AND MECHANICAL
= COLLEGE,. ..''
EDUCATIONAL.
BATON ROUGE, La,

is now in successful operation, with good
prospect OF large patronage
session begins, by law, October and
= Facilities Jo,. I,,t,'uction-Very good: an
experienced Faculty, now of four Profess
sors-the number expect 81 soon to be in
apparatus; good appliances for instruction
II Engineering large museums Of Natural
Volumes. and a good eanipnaent Of smaM
arms and artillery for military EXERCISES
Efforts are also making to get in readiness
for which l26 acres of good land have been
Coarse Of Stay, embraces wide field of
literature and science and parents win
seloctthe studies which they may wish
their sons to pursue. The military exer-
on the cadets who are quartered in tho
o Uh.ve .t building and optional with
70 become ..ssient1 or scadat IN as%nge.
al with the perent.
At!nisssiom granted to young men and
youths not under fourteen years of age,
who arc proficient in the branches Of a
common English education. They can en-
ter at any time during tho session, and he
dents may bo residents s. oshsr saasss. SUI
b., Ea-state Tor benefciary) cadets cannot
be received until tho Legislature makes All
appropriation to pay thor expenses.
. E'1'enses:..r"ition and the oso oflibrary
and apparatus arc absolutely free. Stu
Rouge for about Sl5 a month and those
who form "messes'' can maintain them
selves for Sc to 80 a month. .''.'F -
;, A11,atses for a Afilitosy oudee.--Fixed OK
penses per month-Board. lodging and SER
varit attendance, $l2; washing and n,end
ing, ~ 90; fuel and lights, so cents; medica
attendance, 81; total, SIG; or for the session
of nine months Si44 or Mt that rate for part
Of session. Payable monthly in advance.
Contingent expenses per session-estima-
ted--uniform clothing, S47; tex t-boo.ss and
stationery, Sl5; medicines, s.; breakages
and contingencies, IS total, $72 Payable
$4S on entrance, balance $A january j. In
case of Withdrawal from the Institution.
cadets will DO charged only for tho time OF
mission Of fees for the last two months Of
the session. ,r-.t ill., ,,. s..T,; - 80, "
Location healthy, and desirable FOR deli
cate youths who may not be able to stand
Il colder climate. >'
For further Informal, ion. address
BE- ID. Il. BOYD President
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-07-09
III ~ 1Nt4LLIsLR TEST
| iaGw Kew Yo,klDashing :. House officer
|, q, Detects Boy. who Have Been In.
NEW YORK Herald.l


t.Yopr nose is cold and We can't come
pier Of the municipal swimming bath
gave to a half: bleached boy at the Bat
tety yesterday. Ten minutes later, q
squad of new faces appeared. As the
PROCESSION filsa dawn the gang plank a
'oozen olchinS who had been lying tn
wait sandwiched themselves 1n tie
new corners and marched boldly 10 the
aen&rance of the hath. Every 60 OF
them seemed about to DO ted,
when the doorkeeper sudxtenSy thr'1se
his cGne into tho crowd and cuIledsont
the intruders. With the unerring pre-
cisiofl0 81 1 Persian, javelfn singer his
thumb and finger alighted on the boys
noses, and with new exhibitions OF ter
rifying accuracy the man yelled, "Your
nos0s- is cold; get back wild yees,o and
with twist, Pull and q slap he sent
the youngsters reeling up the straight
and marrow, path that leads from the
bathing pasediss' to the park. "You
see, misteNAG explained to visitor,
"we tafe efy the servants of the
city. Th6asM ,intinds that the public
shall havS felr shake at This washing
business vlthoat favor to any one.
We are hele by order of the city to see
that no jobeps put agin the majesty Of
the law. A gang of these ERE fellers
lays around here from mornln' till
night, hoping to get moro than their
share OF the water. To tell the TRUTH,
without lynn, they are morally certain
to reost In the bath all day, so that the
hard workig' TIA payers Oghas but a
moment for bodily refreshments
wouldn't have no chance to renovate
their skins In the cooling tides which
the law has provided. DO you see MAT
pancake colored chap up there? He
goes out and rolls In hedirt, and comes
back looking as II he had just como
from Jersey. Hos bin playing sneak
ing game here for q week, but his nose
is pullin' proof, or would have had
It on ice three days ago. Watch 'cm!
See how innocent and kinder injured
like they appeared, hopin' to get sym
pathy. But their cold noses gives 'em
away. They can't get their smelling
machines warm after they have once
been in the water, under four or five
hours, no matter what they does-red
pepper, hot gin nor snuff makes it any
better. I feels their noses when: there
is any doubt. Ifitis, cold my expert,
enced hand can tell It better than one
Of them 'cre signal service, byrometers,
and I gives 'em tho grand bounce. If
their noses is warm we pass 'cm right
in to- stay in half an. hour" D..
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-07-09
CITY DIRECTORY.

Presbyterian Church.
Rev. j. Y. Allison, Pastor. Sevices ut
|! the Church, GrammOnt and Cata1pa sts.,
first, second and third Sundays each month.
J. Protestant Episcopal 49, J.
Rev. James Pliiison. Rector. Services ut
Grace Church every Sunday morning at ii
O'Clock; evening at 4 p. III. ..,t,,.,-. 9,
b Roman Catholic Church.
Rev. Father L. Enaut, Pastor. Services
at st. Matthew'S Church every Sunday.
hE Ness siesse 81
Sacrament ut o'clock. p: nj.
A. Methodist Episcopal.
at Ihe Cou1t Housei firstisupday Of each
month at night; fourth Sunday, morning
O. Rey: w: 4; Mason. Pastor: Services at
every Sunday.
a.r0t Congre CATION lB'nai Israel. T..
J. l.. Kalislxi, Reader. Services every
f o%ssr 81: s. MARI, f1esiaess; s. k,otz,
Vice President; Marcus We'll, Secretary
Jonas Meyer. Treasurer.
F. A. M.
ders's Hall, second and fourth Saturdays in
each month.
:, q Z; Ric4ssrfsoa, u: r.; r; ":
=. s.: s. SS Msn9 < &; Jas. McN sT,e &.
N sra x F. d. g. rs; T.; s. md Meyer y
Treasurer; J. II. Milling, Secretary; j. G..
Sanders, Guard. v ri..
Western stas, Lodge, Ne: p; Meets il
Sanders Hail, first and third Saturdays In
Oaicers: L. w. surgl,nor, W. NJ; Jas.
McNeely. 8. W.; Il: Noise, :. W; 8. Meyer,
y. @. Sanders, Tyler.
t9' K.sofP. IN
st9newall Lodge. Meets the first, second.
6 as +; n . Ssg gssas "l PAS. Chan
Ihandar; D. A. Brear,i. Vice chancellor; j.
(. and s.; Marcus wish, n sn Sf F.: Leon L. q,
| Gerson, NJ. OF Z. = ~ - .
Endowment Rank, *. of p, Section No.
fS47. Meets second and fourth tuesdays in
eaoh month, at 1850 p. NJ, Mt Bornhardt's
| Oalcors: j. E. Hanna, President; Or.
and Treasurer; W. f. Ashley, Guide.
X. 5. u.
Ouachita Lodge, No. 1871. Meets first and
third S Sun Hs p. mr. each month"; at
Oafoers !. II. Meyer, President; Marcus
WE'LL Past President; sam Kuhn, Vice
President; Jonas Meyer, Secretary; Sig.
Meyer, rreasurers Simon Marx, Conductor;
Abe Calm, Guardian. -r...... .I.lr ,.,1,
Of o. .,,l.,,,,,, o., 10. b. Is. -.
Adassa Lodge, No. 2Os. Meets at Gers
pach's Hall every second aud fourth Sun
day. n ron g!g.L.i - ID -tl n ..u '-.f :. a
Onioers III Sol. Meyer, President: Icon
rers L. Kcrn. Secretary; Henry D. king,
1nascial Secretary, M. j. walienberg,
Warden. 'sa'ts' sEltfvIo'l .-EsI .s-sf'v "t
rrH. e,r Hoard of Trade. 81, 49, =
Regular meetings first Monday each
month at Sanllofs's Hall. .-
Omcers: JOS. Hoffman, President; j. G.
Sanders, Vice President; J. L. kaliski, Sec
rotary; Lewis u. Allen, Jr., Treasurer. y
Direcfors: II. NJ. Bry, D. NJ. Sholars,
Chas. j. Boatner, 8. Meyer, W. B. Sublett.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-07-09

PUBLICATIONS.
n EN. JOHN II. HOODS
A d vance and Re trea t.
HIS RECORD.
BY tho Lato
GEN. JOHN B. HOOD, c. s. A.
This work. possessing 4 raro interest to
all readers from it's especial connection
with the closing history of tho lato war be-
tween tho sections. is now in the hands of
the binder, and will soon loo ready for dis
trlbution. -.-.
1t is the Legacy Left by the Deceased
Hero to his Orphaned Children.
Prices: Three, Thrcc-and-a a half nMd
p -Four Dollars.
Va Reliable Canvassers wanted. ZAP
ply froni3to 4p. IN. to 49,.
=. F.sR. SOUTHLAND.
General Agent fs" Louisiana and NIissis-
s>Sj "A. w. HIATr's, IS Camp st.
/ T .oUlsIANA AS 1T Is.
L -ol IisscS.
! us IOpOgJuI,hU 0,,o1 tuihu6lc Resources.
ny DANIEL. DENNETr.
| Price 90, cclits, postage II cents--Libcra
reduction to dealcrS-~1O, 900 copies just
| published, 3 600 copies sold.
EThe Editors of New Orleans have given this
/ book Il strong endorsement.
tOrlSIoNS OF NEW oELEAS Ms BOOKSHELF Frs.
1t is n book which has boon long want ed
anu odten called for. l am selling copies
daily that arc mailed to all parts of the
world. ~
| N" GEORGE ELLIS
| Opposite tho Post Office.
Mr.. Dennott's Louisiana As II is is pre-
| cisely the book that has been called for
J It gives gnncral satisfaction to my patr ons
| In city and country.
| liz. -, -r,t .,t...s e. c. HALEY,
10 Commercial Place.
Tho book just ISSUED by Mr.. bennett
Louisiana As 1t Is, supplies want long
felt by residents md strangers. The de-
mand TOR the book is active, and is steadily
increasing.
J. A.GRESliAA.
o. Camp and 1l9 Canal Street.
The Ouachita telegraph. [volume] (Monroe, La.) 1865-1889, 1880-07-09
Hoard of Trade.

Regular meetings first Monday eacl,
month. at SanGlofs's Hall. .-
OmceSs: Jos. Hoffman, Presidents; J. G.
rotary; Lewis d. Allen, Jr.. Troasurer, ;.
Directors: II. NJ. Dry. u. NJ. Sholars,
Chas. j. Boatner, 8. Meyer, W. b. Sublett.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-08-12
GARFIELD'S GUILT.
AN INTERVIEW WITH CONGRESSMAN
ROOSEVELT,
In Which the De GoIyer Paving Frauds are
thoroughly expOsed-letter from
Georgia Radical - Thurman
Confident Of Demo-
cratic Success.
THE PRICE OF C0EKlING'S SUPPORT

In an interview in New York city.
Congressman Robert B. Roosevelt, well
known in connection with the investi.
CATION and exposure Of the notorious
District OF Columbia ring, gives some
interesting "reminiscences OF the period
when James A. Garfield, was chairman
OF the House Committee on Appropria.
tions and De Golyer & Co., were engin.
eering bill through Congress, giving
them the contract for paving sundry
streets Of the National Capital. Read it.
Chairman Jewell, Of the National Re-
publican Committee, having given out
that he wouli pay the expenses OF any
one wishing to canvass the Georgia dis.
tr cts for Congress, . gentleman OF that
State writes letter accepting the terms
OF the offer, and also improves the op-
portunity to say few words in behalf
OF the Statesman who heads the Demo.
cratic Presidential ticket. The recent
Radical conference in New York, and
the failure OF Senator Conklins to at
tend, continues TO furnish the theme for
considerable gossip in political circles.
Senator Thurman, in an interview at
Chicago, which we print below, eI-
presses grea, confidence, not only ot the
success OF the Democratic National
ticket, but also OF the ability OF our Ohio
neighbors to redeem their State from
Radical control.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-08-12

,;,o,J ,.d hardship Of the Indiaa var.
~ ,nI.ccept the higher remnnsNtion
vhicI dyil saploymsot Eave. bat Who
hss seht on through oil thoee ysN
until In bic own brave sword alone. 2
b.s every srsde IRON lieatsnant {
senio} major general He now holds ths
hishel position In the best army o.
CSris odou, which vas secured ey
m.r;,Iious ssrvics. Il 10 true that be
has u{isary superiors. but their srads
undeJnvofing sdwinistr.tions was won
by snI OF ssllantry. while his Vas %.
cnredby gallantry shown and blood
shed lille bravely 6ShunG the enemies
of hilountry. fshsll expect, cir, that
in Wei Of the fact that my election J:
auonl,he remote possibilities only, snd
,hs, is campaign may demonstrate
that Il Republicans can pas the Rub,.
con al defy their opponents in their
very dbraltar, that you will furnish the
funds I,rcessary 20 wage var Tor the
party. I sm, very respectfully, your
VIZ. JOHNSON.
No. Il Mulberry street.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-08-12
nd the Happis I Convention Ever
Held in the Nail City Ad-
iOurns Sine Die.

Nothing bu, worls II commentator
hl praise can D. spoken Of the Demo.
tsiir Congressional Convention Of the
rat p.,,rc;. vh,,h assembled in
e Acaiemy Of Music, yesterday.
i,s IruyrR Il was far
boye tha average West Virginia
Soh,icil assembly; in numbers il eI.
t~iel the estimates Of the most san
u.Ge; the order observed through.
~, was far better than that
Expected Of surh q large body
delegates, drawn together from all
(arts OF the district, AMI representing.
J ,nry iul, many and conflicting inter
k'S. the enthusiasm displayed was
lomething wonderful, aui last, but not
tas;, the work accomplished calls forth
be hearty appreciation Of every Demo.
|ra' IN u" district. The party through
Put the district will give to Col. Wilson
|ts hearty anil unanimous support, and
IS election by a layer majority than
|ver before Is assured.