The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-11-11
THIS AND THAT.
IN-oENTs-Copper
SETS things right-The hen.

THE ties that bind-Advertise.
MEN who eat crow never crow aboutlt.
AN upper flat-An aristocratic noodle
FALsrAFF was religlous-that Is to
say, sack-rehgious.
Coop nature is more amiable than
beauty and more agreeable than wit.
THE Saturday Night says it is poor
lawyer that hasn't a code in his head.
CHARLES A. DANA began journalism
on the Boston CfroaOtype at 50 a week.
ALI. railroads to watering places have
n right to call themselves great trunk
lines.
SIGHT1Ess individuals should avoid
liquor. 1t is very easy to get blind
drunk.
THE first gold mine in the United
States was discovered in South Carolina
in 1870.
WHY would the letter ssh" make a
good aurist? Because it makes the ear
hear.
IT generally takes two to make quar-
rel, but very often one mother-in-law Is
sufficient.
ANY old bachelor will shrek for bet
ter half when n counterfeit 50-cent piece
is showed on him.
"How SAD !" exclaimed one blade of
pair of scissors to the other how sod
We only meet to sever r
EVERY five years this country loses
enough by fire topay off every dollar OF
the national debt.
AN. Ohio man has brought a suit
1 Co. e1o Il
leging damages at SIC, 900.
IT is estimated that the money paid
for Texas cattle during the past five
years amounts to $3.50, 600, 900.
SHE was plump and beautiful, and he
was wildly fond of her. She hated him,
but, womanlike, she strove to catch him.
He was flea.
The Boston Globe says that a promfs-
ing young horse in South Boston has
| been named DR.. Tanner, In hopes that
he will become fast.
DowN by the river side they met,
| Sweet Romeo and Juliet;
| Her hand in mis- he placed, and said
| asweet Juliet, I would thee wed-n
"Indeed?n she queried; "Ahi let's go:
Get in this boat. Oh row me, oh7"
"I HAVE great ear, a wonderful ear"
said a conceited musician, in the course
| of conversation. $50 has q donkey"
replied bYstander.
"I RISE for information" said a MEM
Der of a Legislative body. 60 am very
glad to hear it, said a bystander; ono
man needs it more"
IF you love girl and want to marry FER,
| And lack of pluck is the only barrier,
| We would make this mild suggestion:
Shoot yourself or pop the question
| Keokttk Constitution.
A LITTLE boy came to his mother re-
Gently and said: Mamma, should
think that, if was made of dust, I
would get muddy inside when I drink. I"
A PHILADELPHIA husband, who
doesn't want his wife to tamper with his
letters. is the author of the report that
internal machines are being found IN
mails.
A HEALTHY man requires about pint
of air mt breath he breathes about
1000 times an hour, and requires about
fifty-seven hogsheads of air In twenty
four hours.
A KISS without mustache is like an
egg without salt.-Spanish ProUerb.
Always remember that, girls, and never
kiss without the mustache.; always kiss
within it.
Mrs. CooDLE was telling Jane that
the potatoes had an oniony smell, when
that monster, Coodle, suggested that
perhaps they had been cooked in q
saucepan with leak in it.
"WHAT is woman's will ?" shrieks q
social scientist of the bachelor persua.
sion. Experience in our younger days
teaches us that it is the only will that
the heirs don't want to contest.
only 20 years ?" "Yes," she ex
planned "George made me promise
!; when we were married that I would
: never change. I was 20 then, and
mean to keep my promise.
| A LADY who had quarreled with he
bald-hcaded' lover said, in dismissine
him. "What is delightful about you
5 my friend, is that have not the troubl.
4 of sending you back any locks OF hair.
. A YOUNG lady, having read about ,
: man having invented'a a stove which WI
1 consume its own smoke, hopes he vii
next devise method whereby tobacco
. smokers can be run on the same economl
cal principles.
,, BROWN gave his wife an elegant um
! brella for her birthday present. "B
very careful of it p he said to her. "Oh
be easy, dear I will use it only on Sur
days and holidays, and then only whel
; the weather is fne."