Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-07

1IOW SAD tACItiHlSu Ou6 O1du6 OF u
pair OF scissors to the other I" how sad
We onl y meet to sever !"
EVERY five years this country loses
enough by fire to pay off every dollar of
the national debt.
AN Ohio man has brought a suit
against his own mother for SANDER, al
leging damages at $4,000.
1T is estimated that the money paid
for Texas cattle during the past five
years amounts to $3.50, 100000.
SHE was plump and beautiful. and he
was wildly fond of her. She hated him.
but, womanlike, she strove to catch him.
He was flea.
THE Boston Globe says that a promis-
ing young horse in South Boston has
been named DR.. Tanner, in hopes that
| be will become fast.
| Down by the river side they met
Sweet Romeo and Juliet;
Her hand in his he placed and said
"Sweet Juliet, would thee we'd
"Indeed?" she queried; - All let's 90:
| Get in this boat. Oh row me, oh?"
81 HAVE q great ear, q wonderful ear"
said conceited musician, in the course
Of conversation. $50 has a donkey"
replied bystander.
81 RISE for information, =" said a mem
Der of Legislative body. 81 am very
| glad to hear it, said bystander "no
man needs it more"
IF you love girl and want 10 marry 'er,
And lack of pluck is the only barrier,
We would make this mild suggestion:
Shoot yourself or pop the question.
-Keokus Constitution.
A LITTLE boy came to his mother re-
Gently and said: Mamma, I should
think that, If [ was made Of dust, I
would get muddy inside when [ drink. "
A PHILADELPHIA husband. who
| doesn't want his wife to tanper with his
letters, is the author OF the report that
Internal machines are being found in
mails.
A HEALTHY man requires about pint
of air at q breath he breathes about
1000 times an hour, and requires about
ffty-seven hogsheads Of air in twenty.
! four hours.
A KISS without mustache is like an
egg without salt-SoGnish PJ'OUerb.
Always remember that, girls, and never
kiss without the mustache; always kiss
within it.
Mrs. CooDLE was telling Jane that
the potatoes had an oniony smell. when
that monster, Coodle, suggested that
perhaps they had been cooked In
saucepan with leak in it,
"WHAT is woman's will? ?" shrieks a
social scientist of the bachelor persua-
sion. Experience in our younger days
teaches us that it is the only will that
| the heirs don't want to contest.
ONLY 20 years." eyes" she ex-
planned. "George made me promise
when we were married that [ would
never change. I was 20 then, and I
mean to keep my promise. u
A LADY who had quarreled with her
bald-headed lover said, in Diminishing
him. "What is delightful about you,
my friend, is that have not the trouble
of sending you back any locks of hair. ="
A YOUNG lady, having read about q
man having invented stove which will
consume its own smoke, hopes he Will
next devise a method whereby tobacco
smokers can be run on the same economi-
cal principles.
Brown gave his wife an elegant UNI
brella for her birthday present. "Be
very careful of it - he said 10 her. ''Oh,
be easy, dear will use it only on Sun
days and holidays, and then only when
the weather is fine"
MIR. TnDEN spends most OF his time
at Graystone, his country seat, on the
Hudson, where he entertains consider
able company, particularly ladies, his
sister, Mrs. Pelton, being his house
keeper, and in the family is the daughter
of the late Nephew Pelton.
| JUST before visiting the menagerie,
Johnny had passage at arms with the
young aunt who assisted at his toilet,
and with whom he flew into rage. Ar
rived at the menagerie, Johnny was i'm
mediately interested by strange foreign
animal with a long, 1.-THE body. "What
animal is that, mamma ?" he asked. "It
is called an ant-eater, my son." After
long silence Mamma, can't we
bring Aunt Mary here some day ?"
| THERE is an Indiana woman, only 20
years old, who, when she went to In
dlanapolis to purchase a pair of shoes,
could find none large enough, and had
to leave her measure. This called for a
pair of extra citizens, the last being o
foot In length and five inches wide. 1t
should, perhaps, be stated, however,
that the woman herself weighs SAT
pounds, and is seven feet two inches in
height.
| MENDICANCY is forbidden III Paris and
the neighboring villages. But under
various pretences it seems to be more
prevalent than it has been known for a
| long time. Some of the persons who
beg in Paris have known better days,
and are dainty III their language. A
gentleman said to an outstretched palm ::
81 have not sou about me-" '.Sir,"
exclaimed the worthy medicant with o
sheer, "I have not specified the species
of CON-"
HARRY LESLIE, after crossing Niagara
on rope many times in safety, lately
had a narrow escape from falling in New
Orleans. The rope was suspended
across street from the tops of houses.
Rain had made it slippery, and, when in
the center, he slid off; but he caught
with his hands, letting the heavy bal
ance pole drop into the crowd below.
The accident seemed to completely I'M
nerve him. He visibly trembled from
head to foot, and was unable to pet nm