Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-05-06
TO ACCOMMODATES THE LADY.

Phil isn't the only dollar-and.a-half Chris
tian in this world.
TO ACCOMMODATE THE LADY.
Writing while on the railroad, Mr.. Bur-
dette, of the Burlington Hasokeye, says:
A woman with three bird cages and lit
tie girl has just got on the train. She ar.
ranges the three bird cages on seat, and
then she and the little girl stand up in the
aisle, and she glares around upon the ungal.
liant men who remain glued to their seats and
look dreamily out Of the window. bend
my face down to the tablet and write furious
ly, for I feel her eyes fastened upon me-
Somehow or other, am always the victim
in cases of this delicate nature. just as l ex-
pected. She speaks, fastening her command
ing gaze upon me.
"Sir, would it be asking too much if beg
ged you to let myself and little girl have that
seat? A gentleman can always find seat
so much more easily than lady"
And she smiled. Not the charmingest
kind of smile 1t was too triumphant to be
very pleasing Of course I surrendered. |
said: "Oh! certainly, certainly. | could
find another seat without any trouble"
She thanked me, and crawled out of my
comfortable seat, and gathered up my over
coat, my manuscript, my shawl strap package,
my vaiise and my overshoes, aud she and the
little girl went into the vacant premises as
soon as the writ of ejectment had been served,
and they looked happy and comfortable.
Then stepped across the aisle ; | took up
those three bird cages and set them along on
g IL fha
thus vacated. l apologetically remarked to
the woman, who was gazing at me with an
expression that boded trouble, that sit was
much warmer for the canaries by the stove"
She didn't say anything, but she gave me a
look that made it much warmer for me for
about five minutes than the stove can make
it for cauaries. 1 don't believe she likes me-,
and am uncomfortably confident that she
disapproves of my conduct.
A Big CHANcE.-The day was hot at Fris-
co, Utah, and the three drank beer and talk.
ed. 1t appeared from their conversation
that they had all more or less experience in
prospecting. One said:
"The biggest thing ever struck was once
when me and Newt Bowden was prospecting
One day we felt the earth kinder tremblin'
an saw a smoke on the top of mountain.
We climbed up to the top-it was long
pull. Twas all Lilin' in the crater. One
place in the crater was lower than 10th
er parts, an cliff struck right down from
this low place-it went bout 700 feet. The
earth kept emblin', an stream bout twen-
ty feet wide by FIVE deep run outen the crater
or gap an made clear Jump of 700 feet
down"
"Water?" interrupted one of the listeners !;
"pooty hot, wasn't it ?"
"Water? Twas quicksilver!
"Quicksilver
"You bet. We went down to the foot of
the fall. The stream of quicksilver from the
fall run few hundred yards an sunk. 1t
KEEP tremblin':"
"What made the tremblin' ?"
"The quicksilver strikin' below heavy you
know. Me an Newt both got sick he sicker
than me. He KEEP gettin' worse, an died be-
fore could get him to camp. got to camp
an was sick for months; was salervated. My
teeth all came out. haint no teeth now,
nor toe nails nuther."
"Why didn't you 60 back to the quick.
slver?"
"Fraid er gittin' salervated agin. Killed
Newt, you know."-SaH Lake Tribune.
HE FOUND OUT.-A good "drive" was per-
petrated upon Connecticut Western con-
ductor few days ago. A man boarded the
train at way station and paid his fare to
a point few miles distant. On reaching his
destination he concluded to proceed to fur
ther station, and finally continued on until he
reached Winstead. Each time he paid his
fare in cash to the conductor instead of buy
ing ticket at the station, although by this
means the passage cost him considerably more,
At last the conductor spoke to him Of this and
suggested that it would be economy for him
to buy ticket, and asked him why he didn't.
"Well," said the passenger, "pll tell you.
Some time last Summer | got into little
trouble with this company and they used me
mighty meanly, so l just said to myself,
"That Connecticut Western company won't
never get another cent of my money if I live
a hundred years )" and they won't, and that's
why pay my fare to the conductors" The
conductor dropped the conversation at that
point.
Bg Natick is again the butt of the story
telling fraternity. A worthy citizen of Ma
tick-so goes the story-died, and in due
season applied for admission at the gates of
Paradise. Upon being asked where he re.
sided upon earth, he replied "Natick;' where
upon the doors were closed upon him. With
heavy heart he sought admission to purgato.
ry, where the question was repeated: "Where
from ?" "Natick," was his reply. Again he
was refused admission. In despair he repaired
to the Internal regions, and, when his former
dwelling place became known, he was inform
ed that he was not wanted there. Thorough
ly disheartened, he cried out in anguish of
spirit: "Great heavens! Must I return to
Natick k?'
asg An inhabitants Of suburban town,
after spending convivial evening, was dis.
covered among the carrots and cabbages of
his humble garden, wrapped in slumber.
swell, Bill" said an admiring friend, as he
shook the PROSTATE youth, "what are you
doing out here?" "WatchiDg for hen that
stole her nest," was the sententious answer.
"But what are your eyes shut for, Bill ?"
"Don't want the old hen to see me" grutty
replied the sleeping philosopher.
s@- wag got hold of an editors whisky bot
tie and labelled it to, "To be continued in our