Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1880-06-19
PASSING SMILES.
A LOW story--ths basement.
DEAD issues-old newsnapera.


clothes line.
AUTHORS are spoken of as dwelling in
attics, because so few of them are able
to live on their first story
LIFE on the Plains" book Just
GU. won't be much of a success Only
six Indians killed in he first chapter.
IS reading the personals and depar.
tures in the newspapers one discover
that distinguished visitors, like loose
powder 60 off with puff.
WHEN a Georgina man gets too weak
to split watermelon open with an ak,
his relatives begin to look around and
see what's the best they can do on head
stone.
WHAT" SAYS an in1uisitive young
lady, sis the most popular color for a
bride" We may be a little particular
in such matters, but We should prefer a
white one.
If Bismarck insists on his resignation,
the Emperor William knows our address.
Up two fights Of stairs, and knock at
the right-hand door. Don't kick the
panels. Burdette.
VERY red-haired passenger-"I say,
guard. Why on earth don I your train
60 on?' Guard" Good gracious, sir
put your head in; how can you expect
to 60 on while the danger signal is Out?'
"IKNOw a victim to tobacco" said
lecturer, "who hasn't tasted food for
thirty years" "HOw do you know he
hasn'tT' asked an auditor. Because
tobacco killed him in 1885," was the
reply
OVER FIVE gallons of castor oil have
been Ysed in Oiling the skates of the
Hartford rink. We are thankful that
new line of industry has opened to the
dreadful stuff.-Donbury Ne,rs.
He" Why, you see, the fact is, my
dear, l knocked your medieval teapot
off the top shelf and broke" She
"Oh, my prophetic soul /! My teapot"
He (bitterly)-" No. Merely my headH
"SEE, mamma" exclaimed a little
one, as puss, with arching spine and ele-
waited rudder, strutted around the table,
"See, kitty's eat 30 much she can't shut
her tail down."
HEAVY swell-(to a customer of the
house ID think have seen you before,
your face seems very familiar to me"
Customer-"very likely, sir, l was long
q sheriff's officer. (Gent collapses)
A GERMAN traveller in Africa charac.
terizes a people he came across as ain.
tensely black, dolichocephalic and
patyrhine, prognathus, dichOtOmatic
AID dolichOdactylic." We have seen q
man knocked down for less than that.
A YOUNG man who plunged into the
water and rescued a maiden who had
sunk to the river bottom, was rewarded
by her hand. She couldn't doubt his
affection; she knew he was ready to dive
for her.
EMERsoN says everything good in
man leans on something higher. Emer.
son is right. We have seen a man lean
on a telegraph pole, and the only good
in him was beer. At least he said it
was good.
Here. John. don't eat those crackers up."
Said she with hateful snap;
They're some saved on purpose
To put in the baby's pap"
WELL" said John, edging for the doof
And reaching for his hat,
What makes you 90 cross about IT, then,
Amt the baby's pap7"
"FANCY Farmer" asks: "How do Won
keep weeds out OF your garden?' Ble..
your soul, we don't! We tried having
hand-organ play "Pinafore" to them.
but as they still kept on growing. we
concluded that it was best to 90 fishing
and let them grow.
WHEN the intellectual typo isn't careful,
OF the poets voluntary clever rhyme,
He p.., sur. to ... them Cs,e5 nr mas; sy%s i..;,r,
For printers work is occupied BY time,
Pied BY time.
A MAN out West obtained a divorce
from his wife. and married again within
three days after the decree was granted.
An Irisman commenting on the mans
action, remarked: "Bedad, he couldn't
have had much respect for his first wife,
to be marryin' again SO soon after LAWN
her,"
| HB was little lawyer man,
Who meeklv blushed while he began
Her poor dead husbands will 10 scan
| he smiled while thinking Of his fs-
Then said TO her, 80 tenderly,
You have nice fat legacy"
And when he lay next day In bed,
With plssters on his broken head,
He wondered what earth he'd said.
COLONEL INoERsoLL says he doesn't {
see I" how it is possible for man TO die
worth $1,000, 900 or SIC, 600, 900 in city
full of want" Nor do we. Editors
should club together and resolve not 70
die worth &5,00O,0O0 or $4,000, 600.
We would rather not die at ali than to
leave this world worth that much money.
-Norvist0scn Herald.
Can Any One Telll