davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morris tribune., 1880-06-03


ing the Ladies of the Episcopal Society
will hold q soiree at Goods Hall, and
should the weather prove propitious, we
anticipate one of the largest and most en-
joyable gatherings of the season. Morris
has always been noted for the generosity
and liberalily of her citizens, and as the
proceeds of tomorrow evenings entertain.
ment are to be devoted to worthy object,
viz: the church building fund. We trust our
people of all denominations will be present,
and thus encourage and substantially assist
in forwarding SO worthy an enterprise.
The ladies are making preparations for en-.
tertaining their guests, and all the delica
cies of the season will be provided and
served, in the usual right royal style fol
which the ladies of Morris are noted
Strawberries and cream, ice cream, cake,
lemonade, and-last but not lcast-straw
berry short cake will be served.
OTHERwIsE.-The Herman Herald has
given Rev. Fl. B. Crandall several heavy
rubs, and in its last issue says to some who
are offended at the manner in which 1t has
mentioned him: LEST they be laboring M
der the impression that q good man is be
ing unfairly dealt with we we would say
that if he received his just desserts, b,
would be summarily dismissed from the
ministry, and communicated from th.
church, and We know whereof we speak
There were many rumors rife in this 10
cality which were very damaging to Mr.
Crandall's name and reputation, but ",
could not trace the reports TO any authora
tive source. consequently we allowed til,
matter to drop, as we did not desire to IL
my one an Injury. and not being able t.
obtain any positive proof OF guilt VIC die
not publish what was but rumOr. How
ever the editor of the Herald is doubtless
! in possession of certain damaging facts, OF
he would not have said what he did.
Morris tribune., 1880-06-03

It'll
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31
. conscientious .Han.

The other day over at the Alamen-
da baths, timid and retiring looking
man waited until the superintendent
was disengaged, and then said to him.
II do hate to give you any trouble,
but have you long stick or pole Of
any kind you could lend mel'
"No, sir, told you so ten minutes
ago snapped the over driven Off.
cial.
80 you did, replied the man, "but
| thought | would just ask once more.
Iguess | have done my duty in the
matter. Don't you think sou
"What matter? What ON earth
are you thinking about?"
"Why, you see, my mother in-law
diyed of down there at the deep end
about half an hour ago, and as she
hasn't come up yet, | thought I'd like
to tell my wife that had sorter iab-
bed around in the bottom for her
a while any way, but if can't, that's
ALL And pensivcly writing her adj
dress on tag to be tied to the old la.
dy when she came up, the conscien
tious man walked thoughtiully away
= San Francisco Post.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

A Connecticut clergyman, on being
asked to ofliciate at the funeral Of a
poor mans wife, inquired of the wild
over what carriage, had been hired;
and when told, requested that a par
ticular team and vehicle be obtained
in addition, because they we're the
ones that he and his wife habitually
used. and he might wish to take a
pleasure ride after the services. This
disguised the widower, and he secured
the services of another minister. Ga
the following day, the first clergyman
sent for him, and inflicted severe
reprimand for disrespectiul treatment
OF his late wiie's pastor. 81 want you
to understand, said he, "that when
marry or bury any one ! am paid iol
my services. As for that other Eel
low, he's always ready to do any dirt,
work" His name is not given, bu
the New Haven I'alladitm says
GAN this happened in the year of ou
Lord, 1880, in an old and populou
town. 10 the credit of our State b.
it ,aid that this clergyman was borl
and reared elsewhere.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

American tradesmen who claim
genius for advertising should listen to
Berlin grocer, who thus informs the
public through the Borsen Zeit'mg:-
Twins are come to me for the third
time. This time boy and girl. |
entreat my friends and patrons to sup
port me stoutly. Excellent butter,
well worth its price; similarly, sausage
and cheese"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

A singular international contest has
been held in the Summer Circus on
the Champs Elysees, Paris. Seventy
professional hairdressers, each with a
favorite subject to manipulate, met in
a competition for gold and silver med.
ais. A Partisan gained the first prize
and Bulgarian the second for the best
historical couture.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Denver Col capitalists have sub
scribed 81 100000 to build narrow
guage railroad, starting from the cen
ire of the city and completely eneir'
cling lis suburbs.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

CAUTIOUSLY PROCEEDING TOWARD
MATRmoSY.-"Can you tell me
where to buy white shirt ?" said a
gawky fellow to a man at Lexington,
Ga. The information was given, and
the inquirer, who was accompanied by
a blushing girl, said to the merchant
while baying the shirt; "Can you
tell me where to get marriage IL
censeg' OF the license clerk he ask
ed: who's the best minister to tie
the knott" Thus the couple eau
tiously proceeded toward matrimony.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Saved Doctors Bill.-Geo. NJ.
Walter, Messenger of the Adams Ex-
press Co. BALTIC. Nd, says; "lIav.
ing used DIR. Bulls Cough Syrup for
the past ten years in my family,
wish to say that consider it the best
Cough Syrup ever used. 1t has
cured my children Of Group several
times and saved me many doctors
hill =
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

The train had just emerged from a
tunnel, and a vinegar faced maiden of
80 summers remarked to her gentle
man companion, Tunnels are such
bores which nobody can deny.
But young lady of about sweet Is
who sat in the seat Immediately in
front of the ancient party, adjusted
her hat, brushed her frizzes back, and
said to the perfumed young man be-
side her. al think tunnels are aw-
fully nice. > Adams Mass Tran
script.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31
rHr yEm cBrRrH DocTRnE


Thieves COME a anglei dsauiuo suo,
into our churlh today
These curus words 1rc what the ure
Young preacher, hal iossy
That literal everlasting bee
Was mosiiy Do our eye
That sinners dead. if they d,sim.
Can have snnihrr iryi
We doubted ga uarmorclimo
Than this world could ie proved
The uiilc snlrc Z for some Time
ucli have his douits removed
Eve aaiche.i as duiy straight aui ttur.
A. tfiel io DOT we'll.
rsr Il the limo tept heaven To- view.
Az part siccrcd cleaf o. hell,
Az nov half Of mi. world b. naught
ifi must llsi o. him,
An this ere df,il hsse faufht
Was only just a vhim
Vain are The 1angcrs have iatrL
TIE sacrifice thav cost
Doe shat Con- g. Ito ia avci
ifua ono eise is l1'i
Jest thlus suppose hea ou's Z view
The heaven fteioiiei 90 win.
a lot OF unsaVei Sinner, ia1.
Csincs vaikin grandiy 90
An acts to home. sane as iffhef
Hal real their title oleaf
An look. At me, a. " to ny,
"Wc're glad ~ seo you bee"
A. ITO say, "Whilo you've tesn
~ fast totoe the mara.
Weusitsd iin u raine,i, au ttau
01t tickets far The afs
Yeithcrr would D. some boz chat cr,al
t'dniher ute 60 sss
Ny boy Jack-ii must b. loved
There VS. no worse than Boz
I've always felt Somewhat 10 hiame
IN seversl dlnseui say.
That he lsy down on ihorus of .hsilc
To end bis bsyhrod's iays
An rdhc silHa 10 endun.,
ifthst the Lord thought best
A minuie'squiet bot Temperature,
10 clap hln 10 NY breast
uid Captain nafucs wascfir- snu-
Win heierudasy cfnumcl
q u-si o. think he'd ie ihc anc
ifany vho wa damnei
~iiii. uhcn aiu g. Doe o. l.lsf,
That be- hai clothed and iei.
cry d,salaiciy around Dts t,lr
A. slou rs be- VS. drad
rhsrr csme thought -suHin't oanIr.I.
Thatin sa.lo nruiral lind.
90 HE 10 meet that soouhe.i-up seut
An shate Dc hy the hani
re.f ionnis wills. With cry
of hopeless. .aI distress.
slnk .ulien down one night to dr..
ANA her hall room lre..
she had aprre'ous little uhiir
u paot ur al auay
she even len hcf svcrt rooi .milo-
Twas onher ficc next day
Iicr GOAL went On uneiothe.l By even
une stitch OF saving grace
iiov could she horo 10 90 90 heaven,
An start from such place
nui once. shen lay .ick an vctk.
She catuo an lfr.ci o. stay.
she kissed my hdoi, urintle.i cheek
She .oothed my palm sway
she hraughi uie sEcet bouquet. Of aoscf.
A. ifs-h o. her yuung heart
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

A Magofiin county correspondent OF
the Independent says; "John Adams,
ST., a resident of this county, aged
~ years, walked from his home to
this place the other day, a distance of
eight miles, carrying sack contain
ing a bushel OF corn. Mr.. Adams
has been the husband Of ten "ives
and the father of forty children"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

A young and happy bridal pair in
Georgia set out upon their wedding
tour, and reaching Savannah, put up
at hotel, and in the night burglars
entered their room and stole the
bridegroom's watch and four hundred
dollars in cash. Then they were an
unhappy bridal pair, and went back
home disconsolate.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Work is commenced on the White
Sulphur Grand Hotel, which is to be
one of the largest in the United
States, making the accommodations
ample for 1000 guests.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Not long ago, an officer of the Lon
don School Board was crossing Con-
vent Garden at late hour, when he
found a little fellow making a bed for
the night in a fruit basket. "Would
you not like to go 10 school and be
well cared for ?" asked the official.
"No," replied the urchin. "But do
you know that | am one of the people
who are authorized TO take up little
boys whom find as your Il know
you are, old chap, if you find them in
the street, but this here is not a street.
1t is private property, and if you in
terferes with my liberty, the Duke of
Bedford will be down upon yon. |
know the haet as well as you" lie
was left alone in bis glory.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

POTATO SALAD.-Take your pota-
toes, not too large ones, aud boil; po-
tatoes that are mealy are not good;
when cold, cut in slices and pour the
oil ON them, aud LET them stand
awhile; slice a third of an onion as
fine as possible, and mix with the po-
tatoes; add vinegar to taste, salt and
pepper; the addition of Dutch her
ring makes a herring salad.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

If person of fair complexion ex.
poses himself to the electric light for
some time in examining the action OF
lamps, the hands aud cheeks will
show all the symptoms Of "sunburn,
even in midwinter, and he will deyel.
OPP freckles on his countenance as
quickly as when he goes about I'm,
protected by a sun.umbrella in mid
summer.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

james +. Brown, of Kittaning, Pa,
bequeaths s2j to every widow III the
town, and s. to every wife who will
become a widow and the same amount
TO all the girls who shall become
wives.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Not less than six monuments have
been erected in Italy this year to the
memory OF the late King Victor
Emanuel.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

DO not allow the cold winds OF
Winter to blow through holes and
crevices upon the farm stock. 1t is
cheaper to stop the openings than 10
waste fodder in keeping the animals
warm while thus exposed.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

bear upon the character Of the play
represented. IL we hear or see what
is doubtful. we can rise and leave the
theatre aud write to tha manager. !
could tell you Of cases in which this
has been done with the result Of get
ting the objectionable phrase or joke
cut out Of the piece. '-[Chicago Trib.
uua
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

"A word to the wise is sufficient
when you tell them there's small pox
in the neighborhoOd.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31
The uecE or Prayer. 1851.


The UecL Of Prayer. 1881.
The Evangelical Alliance, as repre-
seniing Protestant Chrisiendom thro'-
out the world, have for years suggest
ed a programme for the Week Of
Prayer, so that as far as possible. all
praying people might unite on the
same day in the same petitions. The
Branch Alliance Of the United States
adopt, with slight notifications, is
programme, and suggest the following
themes and order for the approaching
Week Of Prayer, January %, viz
January 2-Theme Christ the on
ly hope Of a lost world.
Monday, 3--Thanksgiving for the
blessings, temporal and spiritual, of
the past year, and prayer for their
continuance.
Tuesday, l-Humiliation aud con-
fession on account OF individual, SO
cial and national sins.
Wednesday, Prayer for the
Church Of Christ, its unity and puri.
ty, its ministry, and for reyivals Of
religion.
Thursday, G.-Chrisiian education,
Prayer for the Family, Sunday
Schools. and all educational institu-
tons, for Young Mems Christian As
sociations, and for the Press.
Friday, Prayer for the preva
lence OF justice, humanity, and peace
among all nations; for the suppression
OF Intemperance and sabbath desc
Grafton.
Saturday, S-Prayer for Christian
Missions and the conversion Of the
world TO Christ.
Sunday, 9--Theme: 90 the Min.
istration Of the Holy Spirit.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31


Ii was necessary on a certain occa-
sion in court to compel a witness to
testify as to the way a Mr.. Pulliam
treated his horse. "Well, sir" said
the lawyer, with a sweet and winning
smile-a smile intended TO drown all
suspicion as to Interior purposes-
chow 1oes Mr.. Pulliam generally
ride horse ?" The witness looked
up innocently and replied; General
ly a.straddle, sir, believe The
lawyer again asked; "But, sir, what
gait does he generally ridel ?" The
impertuhable witness answered ale
never rides any gate at all, sir, but
I've seen his boys ride every gate on
the farm" The lawyer saw that he
was on the track of a Tarter, and his
next question was very insinuating :
"How does Mr.. Pulliam ride when he
is in company with others | demand
a clear answer "Well, SIR said
the witness, she keeps up with the
rest, if his horse is able to, or if not
he falls behind" The lawyer, now
almost beside himself, asked GLOW
does he ride when he is alone 2" 81
don't know was the reply, 81 was new
er with him when he was alone, and
there the case dropped.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Perhaps some Of our readers are
not familiar with the following puzzle:
A young man asked an old man for
his daughter in marriage. The an
swer was: "Go into the orchard and
bring in a parcel Of apples. Give me
one.half Of the whole number, and
the mother one.half of the balance
and half an apple over, and the
daughter one-half of the remainder
and half an apple over, and have one
left for yourself, without cutting the
apple, and then, if she is willing, you
can have her." lie solved the ones
ton; and how many did he bring
Fourteen, as you can easily prove.
The old woman was TO have one-half
Of the balance, which would be three
and a half, and half an apple over,
which would make four apples for
her. There would be three apples
left, of which the daughter was to
have one-half and half an apple over,
which would give her two, and leave
over his own, without cutting the
apple"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

A blind boy at Montreal has built
a miniature house inside an ordinary
four-ounce bottle, out of forty pieces
Of wood neatly glued together. It
would puzzle person with good eye
sight to get the parts into the bottle,
to say nothing of putting them to-
pether
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

"Can you tell me the number of
days in the march of intellect ?" asked
one friend of another. perhaps !
could was the reply, "if you would
first tell me the length OF the rule of
three well" reioined the first,
81 should like to know the exact
ridth of your broad hint"
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Nor EVERY STEr-MorHER Is UN-
KIND.-A man in New Jersey who
had been twice married directed by
his will that his children by his first
wife should be sent, after his death,
to their uncle in Canada. There were
two chi ldren, both over fourteen years
of age, so they had right to choose
their own guardian. On being
brought before the court they both
chose their step-mother, preferring
her to their uncle. This is a pleasant
incident, for it shows that there are
some step.moihers kind enough to win
the affections OF the half orphaned
children committed to their charge
IN. Y. Ledger.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

"Is it true, Harry, that you've
broken of with Harkaway's daugh-
teri" "Alas yes; | was forced to,
although she was a charming woman.
"Why| "Incompatibility of COM
plexion. She does not suit my fur
niture."
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Salt is not salt at all, and has long
been excluded from the class of bodies
den0minated salts.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

When we are young We waste a
great deal of time in imagining what
we will do when grow older, and when
we are old we waste an equal amount
of time in wondering why we waited
so long before we began to do any
thing.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Sperm oil properly means "seed
OIL" latin ,perma, seed from the no.
ton that it was spermaeeti (the sperm
or melt of whale. } The sperm whale
is the whale that gives the "seed oil, "
which is taken chiefly, but not wholly
from the head.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Mrs. Langtry is about to be-that
is, she is about to have-or, rather, she
is about to become-woll, perhaps it
would be best to say nothing about it
until We learn the sex.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

The other night, as the Buffalo ex-
press was whirling along the Erie, a
queer looking old man, who might
have escaped from the curiosity de-
parlment Of the Historical Society,
got up from his seat in the sleeping
car and shouted: as their a doctor
in the car =" Commotion and excite.
ment Immediately ensued, and, as
there was no medical man in that par
ticular car, several passengers hur-
ried through the train and finally
found one. whats the matter?" he
said to the little old man. Moth
ing said he, "but in case I'm sick
and yell out like thunder in my sleep,
my hunks numbered 20; now don't
forget it Exchange. -
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Sealing wax is net wax at all, nor
does it contain a single particle of
wax. 1t is made OF shellac, Venice
turpentine and cinnabar. Cinnabar
gives it a deep red color, and the tur-
pentine renders the shellac soft and
less brittle.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

"My darling" he intensely whis-
pers, vainly attempting to seize her
hand, edo you know that ! love you
madlyy' "Oh, yes" she says, "al-
most any fool could tell that An
dreWs' Bazar.
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31


According TO one Of the 81. Louis
papers the class in arithmetic in the
public schools Of that city has not yet
taken up the dollar problem, but
when it does the examination will
run in about this wise:
Teacher-Now, boys, what is this
! have in my hand ?
All the Boys-lt's a dollar.
Teacher-Yes, its a legal tender
dollar. 1t is called the dollar Of the
fathers. How much silver does it
contain
Small Boy-ll2l grains.
Teacher-That's right. Now, what
do you call this? 1t is also a silver
dollar, hut what is il called ?
Small Boy after examinstion)--
lts trade dollar.
Teacher-That's right. Now, how
much silver does 10 contain
small Boy-l20 grains.
Teacher-llow much is il worth ?
No answer from the boys.
Teacher-Well. il it worth ninety
cents?
All the B'ys-It is worth ninety
cents.
Teacher--Now, boys, tell me why
il is that the dollar containing 4l2l
grains of silver is worth 100 cents,
while the dollar containing 400 grains
Is worth only ninety cents?
Head Of the Class--Damiino.
Its a question which must 60 to
Congress for settlement The big
boy there ought to be able to answer
this question, or ought 20 retire from
I,pvrr.a
The interior journal. [volume] (Stanford, Ky.) 1872-1881, 1880-12-31

Our stock of Fall Prints Bleached
Goods is Very Attractive.
The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-09-23
The Inventors.

The latest wrinkle in gas-meters is the
patent of a Norfolk man, a plice-indica
tor, showing in dollars and cents the
amount due for gas.
An automatic railroad switch-signal
has been patented by a Hartford hotel
clerk. 1t shows danger when a switch
is displaced, and will not right itself un
til the last of the indefinite number of
switches to which it may be attached has
been properly placed.
Clocks can now be made self-winding,
that is, electric clocks Of the Copenhagen
variety. Louis Spnderberg, the Dane
in charge of them, applies to them a
mechanical contrivance which periodi-
caliy cuts off The stream of electric fluid
from the battery, and brings an electro
magnet to bear upon the relaxing main
spring in such a way as to renew its
tension instantaneously.
A young New Yorker has patented
what he calls w~aterskates. The skate
is an air vessel made of zinc and her.
medically sealed; Is about five feet in
length, 10 inches broad and 8 inches
deep, with vertical sides, and tapers off
fore and aft, or at the toe and heel, like
a steamboat. On the deck or upper sur
face there is a socket into which the
foot is set, the opening being guarded by
a rim of metal to keep the water from
washing into the socket. The bottom
is fitted with q double gang of automa-
tic paddles, one gang forward and
aft, with five blades in each gang The
blades are set on swivels in a frame 10
inches square, that hangs vertically from
the bottom OF the skate. As the skate
is pushed forward through the water,
the blades are opened and offer no resis-
tancs, but when the foot rests so as to
begin a forward movement with the
other foot, the pressure backward closes
the blades and gives a purchase on the
water that materially aids in propulsion.
Each skate weighs about eight pounds,
but in the water, owing to its buoyancy,
it has no perceptible weight on the foot.
The other day the inventor walked
across the surface Of the Harlem river
on them, the movement being a sort Of
gliding step, in which the skates are not
lifted out of the water.