Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-06-10
The Legal Status Of Cats.

The result of the case against Mr.. w.
j. Morrison, of Brooklyn, who the other
day fired his pistol at black cat in his
backyard and missed the cat but
wounded a young lady neighbor, re-
wives our hope that justice will yet be
done in the courts, though the heavens
crack and tumble like the roof of the
Madison Square Garden. In imposing
fine of five dollars on Mr.. Morrison,
Justice Semler administered the follow
ing stern and deserved rebuke: Nor
rison, you are bad shot, and hope
that this experience may convince
you of the necessity of visiting Creed
moor at least once q week for practice.
shall fine you five dollars, not for
shooting Miss Palmer, but for missing a
cat which was clearly within range"
Public opinion will endorse His Honor's
Judgment and advice. The outdoor
season for cats is upon us. Black cats
and white cats, and cats of all interme-
date colorS, are tuning up their pipes
and imbering their legs for the summer
campaign. The warm weather will
soon bring the cats out of the parlors,
dining rooms, kitchens, garrets and eel
lars, where they have spent the winter.
Their evening conventions and concerts
will presently be in full blast. The af-
finity between cats and backyards is
well understood. Like all gifted Great
ures, they love their favorite pursuits
but shun publicity. The character of
their music is q matter of tastes-or
rather of hearing. Most persons to
whom Providence allots the rear bed
rooms dislike it. People living in flats
object to it as being set too much in
sharps. Others are down on it for the
reason that it brings too many Theo-
dore Thomases-or backdoor Thorn
ases-into the field. The citizen
woos gentle sleep in vain. He
might loose himself under solo,
but the full chorus rouses him.
With many familiar oath he leaps
from his couch and rushes to the open
window! There in the yard he espies
his tormentors. They form semi
circle, with the leader, an experienced
old yowler, in the center, with as many
scars of brickbats, bootjacks and hot
water on his person as q veteran of
Waterloo. More, in fact, for they
didn't use bootjacks in Waterloo. Sleep
for the citizen is impossible. The Feline
Sangerbund must dissolve or die. For
such emergencies revolvers were made.
The citizens joints crack as he kneels
on his bare knees over the window sill.
draws q bead on Tom and fires. Bang!
bang! bang! until his barrels are empty.
There is a momentary hush, as when a
seaside brass band is courteously offered
decrease OF pay Then whish! an
immediate adoption of the previous
question, twenty tails horizontal under
the starlight and silence, like huge
bread-and-milk poultice, descends upon
the tangled nerves of dignity dressed in
innocence and unbleached muslin. That
is, the dignity, not the poultice.
The citizen, nevertheless, cannot be
justified in firing unless he hits one or
more of the cats that were within range.
His Honor SO held in the Morrison case,
and his decision must stand as the law
and common sense of al pistol practice
at cats. No man who misses a cat at
fifty feetis fit to own a six-shoOter. Even
if he doesn't hit young lady opposite
which, if she be under twenty-one, is
a minor accident--he disgraces his age
and gives the cats chance to crow over
him. We trust that Justice Semler's
recommendation to Morrison will be
needed by the bedroom public.
The cats must die, but it won't do to
risk winging a girl at every shot. AS
Cicero SAID when discussing similar
case in the Roman Court of Short Ses-
sions, Ambguas in vulgam spargere
voces;" that is, 6 1t is dangerous to
spread doubtful reports among people"
And if the crack OF a pistol in awkward
hands isn't doubtful report, what is
it?-NeaU York Graphic.