Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-11-05
Detroit Currency.

1t saves time to fill kerosene lamp
while burning, even if it is pretty GER
tain to bring about fire and fu-
neral.
Did you ever know man who talked
much Of himself who did not have a
poor subject for his conversation p
Boston Transcript.
An Iowa wife who was suing for d.
vorce proved that she had not had a
penny Of her own for thirteen years.
How she must have suffered for gum!
Somebody says " the national air of
Iceland is the same AZ the national air
of England" Twenty degree below
zero is the popular national air of Ice
land.
One reason why Dr.. Buchanan didn't
start Il graveyard in DsteDit is because
the people Of Detroit were mean
enough TO want the first grave to hold
DR.. Buchanan.
The New Haven Register has come to
the conclusion that the moons
greatest mission is to bring about mar.
rlage engagements and give the aspara-
gus crop start.
If the New Workers. make such fuss
over Cleopatra's Needle, what would
they have done if that lady had sent
them the entire contents of her work
basket p Boston Globe.
The Cincinnati Enquirer says there
arc statesmen in Ohio who change
their minds about once in twenty.four
hours. What n lot of old minds they
must have stacked away
New York State ladies never forget
to be courteous to strangers. When
discovering a midnight burglar they
always ask: Sir, will you please ex-
plain your presence here 2"
The Brooklyn 1rgus has it ;about
right when it says that Edison ought
to hitch his fast electric LOGON, olive to
his slow electric light and see il he
could drag it ont OF obscurlty.
The philosopher of the Philadelphia
Chronicle puts il in this way: "WAile
the record of fast horses is constantly
being brought down the reco,d Of fast
men is constantly being shown up
On u recent moonlight evening AZ
Naragan iett Pier there was only an
average OF man and half to thirteen
females, and every female dropped her
fan and handkerchief as often as POS
sible.
Lord Lttton, being out of a situation,
seems to contemplate starting circus.
The London Tuth reports that be las
brought home "a very fine cream-col-
ored Arab horse and three buffalo
cows
The Rochester Herald says: If there
IS any one Buffalo takes to warmly and
naturally it is scamp with fraudu-
lent title. That explains why so many
noble footmen come to America to hunt
the-aw-buifalo.
Memory is great thing, as exem.
p,itied in Iowa the other day when a SER
want girl suddenly recollected, Just as
twenty people were sitting down to ice
cream, that she accidentally spilled
arsenic in the freezer.
1t is now said that Gesler did not
command William Tell to shoot an ap-
pie of his sons head. First, because
Gesler was u kind hearted man, and
second, because there were no apples
in Switzerland at that time.
An experienced man truly say, that
ii cigarette smoking is continued by
American boys, they will grow faster
In vice than i'll stature, and the next
generation will be one of idiots aud
monkeys.-[ New York Horald.
a red necktie belonging to a young
man in an Albany boarding house was
boiled for half en- hour along with the
coffee, and on that morning every
boarder praised the landlady for hay
ing struck such an excellent grade of
Mocha.
An English philosopher says that if
lions aad tigers could have the associa-
ton of cultured persons they would
develop unknown traits of character.
Philosophy could go no further, ex.
cept to have cultured persons eat the
lions and tigers.
The Southern orange crop this year
will be the largest ever known, and the
boy who is mean enough to sneak
around for two hours to get his claws
on few small sour apples ought to be
tied III square knot by the bilious
collie.
A BRIDES DEFENsE.-The other
II orning when his Honor at the Cen
trail Station Court had case before
him, wherein husband and wife only
two weeks married were plaintiff and
defendant, he asked the wife:
us it possible that you, bride of
fortnight, struck your husband over
the head with table-leg p
/" Yes, 1 whacked him, she promptly
replied, land I'm a little sorry l didn't
bear on little harder. The man who
finds fault because won't button my
shoes with hair. pin will have to look
out for thunderstorms as long as he
lives with me-"
Sentence suspended AMI parties
walked out alone
WILLING TO GIVE WAY.-On the
jefferson avenue line yesterday WON
an of 90 made up to look about ~ years
old, got aboard ut crossing to fin,
every seat occupied. She stood for u
moment, and then selecting a poorly |
dressed man ahout As years of age. she
observed:
" Are there no gentlemen on this
carr