The Red Cloud chief., 1880-06-10
The Hackmen and other Fiends Of
Niagara.

nearer.
The Hackmen and other Fiends Of
Niagara.
i AN on my way To see the falls from
the Canadian side. | am not alone. |
am never alone in the streets OF Nj
agara village. A young man who has
not hitherto seen me aud taxes me for
a newly-arrised guest accompanies me
TO the new suspension bridge. lie i
very chatty and companionable. Bur
he dwells oyermach III one topic. Til.
burden II his conversation i hat he
Twill take ME ali around the falls for
one dollar and a half and show me
everything" The majority of the other
hackmen now know me for a confirmed
pedestrian and despise me accordingly.
Human legs are held in low estiIna-
ton at Niagara. Walking here is pos
itively disreputable That a visitor
should walk 10 the falls is taken by
every hickman as a personal atfront.
Legs at Niagara are deemed an unnsc-
cssIry prolongatiOn of tine human
anatomy. OF course, this is natural
"hNh ~ 'iil'ipN ii'hN VI oht iN-S hI
stead of four pairs OF ~rackabone horses
legs involves a loss of several dollars TO
somebody. Could the Niagara hack
men and stable-keepers have their own
way in the further anatomical develop
ment of the race all visitors would be
born without legs, Oh at least have these
members amputared previous to their
pilgrimage 10 the falls.
l cross to the Canadian side. / am
under the English flag. II gives no
protection against hackmen than
the Stars and Stripes. From the new
suspension bridge 10 the falls it may be
tlree-quarters OF a mile. Pestered by
hackmen every step of the way-by
hackmen on wheels and OH foot: by
hackmen stationary and movable; by u
photograph fiend. who darts from his
lair with two specimen pictures II
offered TO take me and the falls for
fifty cents; by the second hackman on
his beat, who relieves the first, and
from his box keeps up a running fire of
offers to ride me all around for ten
cents by another t%ormentor, who de-
sires me To step into the museum and
behold the usual dreary round of muse
umistic m~onstrositIes. involving stuffed
monkeys; by the third hackman re-
lieving the second, who wants To drive
me To Cedar Island, Clark's Island and
the Burning Spring; tells me | ought
not to leave without seeing the Burning
Spring; | don't want to see the Burning
SPRING. find enough of burning spring
all over Niagara by a man who wants
me to 90 under Table Rock. dress i'm "A
rubber suit and be drenchcd under the
falls for one dollar; by the fourth hack
man, who relieves the third and wants
to carry me somewhere for fifty cents,
endeavor to contemplate the falls
from the spot where Table Rock cracked
off years ago.
But a Niagara Snowman hovcrs about
my mind on the falls at all. | know |
am to be assailed by this human Mag
ara gadly. The gadfy walks to and
fro, and at every turn approaches
nearer. He is beside me. He wants
me to see Niagara from somewhere
for twenty-five cents. move away. l
am disappointed in Niagara. Civiliza-
ton has not improved 1t. | envy the
untutored Indian who could see it two
hundred years ago, with the primeval
forest all about him and no hackmen,
showmen, guides or photograph buck
sters 10 annoy him. Niagara, without
a saw mill. a paper mill, a grist mill. a
beer mill, or a toll mill, was something
which could be contemplated" Nj
agara then tumbled in all its native
,rr,nJar- onl fhn Tn1,on xrhn hnball
it enjoyed also the luxury of burying
his tomahawk in the brains of any hack
man or photographer who wanted to
take his picture for fifty cents. 1 turn
mOurnfully away. retrace my steps.
The fifth hackman now relieves the
fourth on guard and desires to carry
me back to America for fifty cents.
There's no getting away from him, for
the road along the brink of the river is
a straight road, Il barred path, and adj
mits of no side escapes. 1t runs
straight into the arms Of the third
hackman, who will relieve the fourth rs
| return, and wish 10 drive me TO the
.'Whirlpoor' for a dollar. He does SO,
and accompanies me for some dis
lance, ever renewing this proposition.
The photograph iiend again rushes at
me from his lair and renews his offer
to take me, with the American Falls
in the background. The museum tiend
again advises me not to leave without
seeing the stuffed monkeys. Another
man wants me to 90 to the top of a
hotel to see the falls. He adds that it is
free. but l scent a fee somewhere. The
very air here is permeated with fees.
The museum fiend renews his earnest
s~upplications that l do not leave the
Canada side without seeing the stuffed
monkeys. What so fitting after Mag
ara as a course Of stuffed owl and
key? After the sublime, of course, the
ridiculous, and it's only a step from the
falls to the stuffed monkey.-Frentics
Mulford n the ". Y. Grdpkic.