Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-03-27
THE TWO RoBINsoNs.

L
member Alright. They were both from
this State, both members of Congress one
Republican from the Buffalo district, the
other Democrat from the Brooklyn dis
trict. They were frequently confounded
by the public and the press. Even the
Tribune, which then had night editor but
slightly acquainted with politics, inter-
mingled them frequently. This provoked
the wrath and disgust of the chief, who
believed any journalist not possessed OF
every political fact included in the
history of the country for at
least 40 years to be totally disqualified for
his position. Again and again the night
editor presented the M. c. S in delightful
bewilderment. He would have the Repub.
lican voting for Democratic measure,
and the Democrat making Republican
speech, not once only, but repeatedly.
In fact, he rarely failed to make mess OF
the Washington dispatches, so far as the
Robinsons were concerned. The effect OF
these continued blunders on Greeley s
mind may be imagined by those who knew
him, though they can scarcely be con-
ceived by persons unacquainted with him.
They worried him exceedingly; to use his
pet expression, they crucified him, and it is
said that they aroused him at times to
degree of mild, perhaps justifable pro-
family. He undertook to instruct the OBJ
fuse night editor in the respective politics
of the Robinsons, and frequently thought
that he had been successful in imparting a
ray to the Arctic night of his mind. He
would say to somebody in the office,
"Well, guess I've made -- see at
last that no sane man can be sincere Re.
publican, and violent Democrat at the
same time. / hope he's got it through his
thick skull that there may be two distinct
Robinsons in all the United States" And
when he had begun to congratulate himself
on his conquest of dense ignorance, he
would again see in his cherished Tribune
the Republican Robinson voting among the
ayes on strictly Democratic vote, and the
Democratic Robinson offering thoroughly
Republican resolution. Then Mr. Greeley
would groan declare that if he had hair
enough to pull, he would tear it out, and
tell the managing editor that they must
get rid OF that illustrious nincompoop that
idiots might answer on the staff generally,
but that to keep SO ircurable an idiot for a
night editor was ruinous. And then, in
the native kindness of his heart, he would
refrain from discharging the man, know
ing that he would find it hard to get an
other situation. One morning, Greeley,
who had been off lecturing somewhere, re-
turned to town, and, unable to buy a
Tribune on the cars, got another paper, and
discovered that the Democratic Robinson
was dead. I'm glad of that" he said
to an acquaintance beside him. "That fool
of a night editor can't get the two Robin
sons mixed up any more. 1t was absolutely
necessary for my sanity and for the exist
ence of the Tribune that one of those men
should die, and I'd little rather it would
be the Democrat. Very soon he found a
copy of the Tribune, and opened it to read
the obituary of the Democrat. Fancy
his dismay and distress when he read
there the obituary of the living Republi-
can, written by order of that illustrious
nincompoop and idiot-in-chief, as H. G.
put it, of the New York Tribune. He
groaned more deeply than ever, but was
silent. Words were powerless.
THE MORGAN DIX JOKE.
The persecution to which Rev. Morgan
Dix has been subjected by somebody writ
ing in his name to tradesmen, manufac-
turers and spectators all over the coun-
try, and pretending that he wanted to buy
what they had to sell, must have been
originally a colossal joke on the part of
some extravagant humorist. The jester
had probably seen Dix, and knowing him
to be one of the most solemn men on earth
he has no more sense of the ludicrous
than an owl or a Scotchman-had been i'm
PEELED to play these tricks on him. Out
rageous as they were, they provoke smile
in spite Of ones self, when one thinks of
the awful seriousness of the rector of Trim
ity. He could not see the point of joke
if the point were as broad as barn-door
l doubt if there be another dweller on
Manhattan Island so absolutely destitute
of humor. Why, New Orleans cemetery,
when the yellow fever is at its hight, is
jocose compared with Morgan Dix. He is
so lugubrious that he makes double
shadow in the sunlight. If he had
any sense of fun whatever, he
could not help seeing the drollery of his
position. But it is all tragedy, deep, dark,
distressing tragedy to him. While he is
still comparatively young in 1880, he is
in spirit, or in absence of spirit, the
embodiment of medieval ecclesiasticism.
He is just the sort of man who will inspire
any humorist with the notion of making
him butt. DIR. Dix is a most excellent
person; but question if so much solemnity
has ever before been compressed into such
dimensions as he measures.
VARIETIES.
The widow of the late General George
A. Custer, very pleasant, intelligent
lady, now occupies clerical position in
the Decorative Art Society, and has many
warm friends among the best women here.
Andrew G. Wheeler (Nym Crinkle), the
very clever dramatic critic, has left the
Star, of which he had lately been manag-
ing editor. He began on the World, then
went on the Sun, and next gravitated to
the Star On what terrestrial or celestial
body he appears next it is impossible to
guess. 1t was he to whom Boucicault gave
check for 500, as a bride, the dramatist
said but the critic declared as compensa-
ton for literary work. Wheeler seems to
be eccentric in his professional orbits.
The Century Club talks of again enlarg-
ing its membership, now 700. 1t always
has from $50 to $50 applicants for admis-
sion on its list, as it is considered the pleas
ATTEST organization of the kind in town.
One reason why so many wish to join is no
doubt that it is always full Most of US
want to do what is difficult to do.
The name of Joaquin Miller's new play
is said to be " Home, Sweet Home" He
ought to be fond of home, for he is person
ally such bundle of shams and affecta-
tions that he has repealed most of his &C
quaintances here, who have no desire to
entice him from his home. He has poetic
talent undeniably, but that is no reason
why he should bore rybody with his