Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1880-12-23
Bregities and Levities.
A good example is the best sermon

ems life-hatchet.
True politensss is to say,
The kindestthing in the kindest way.
Doesn't a man Observation-Disclosures
he pays partsofs it?
Misunderstanding ajoint afair,
and yet thare is only.;one person to it.
Why is the busy bee like human
contentment?:1, Because it's a humbugg..
The latest slang phrase is: o.
you re too new, the duststicks you.
From Adam they took a rib-bone
to make fair woman. Fair woman
has been made up with ribbon ever
since.
A great many children get on the
wrong track because the switch is
misplaced.
Only a ring is necessary tol9ngage
a wife, but nothing short of cash will
secure a good hired girl.
An Irish bull: cts. a very great
pleasure to be alone, especially when
your sweetheart is wild ye."
A wag suggests that a suitable
opening for many choirs should be,
Lord, have mercy on us, miserable
singers"
"Jane. it is eleven o'clock; tell that
young man to please shut the front
door from the outside
In Switzerland donkeys have bells
on their necks. In this country it is
not unusual to see them with bellies
on their arm.
Wit is the boomerang, that strikes
and g~raciously returns 20 the hand.
Sarcasm is the envenomed shaft tina:
sticks inthe victims gizzarda
American toast: 1.-The ladies': the
only endurable aristocracy, who rule
without laws, Judge without ury, de-
eide without appeal, and are never in
the wrong
The editor OF an American paper
recently insisted that poets must be
brief. He received 8 composition en-
titled, 1.-The BALLAD Of the Merchant
"Trust-Bust."
Luke, is Jim Akers honest?''
Dunno, boss. Jim mout be; an den
agin he mount. But ef 1 was a
cbick'n an know Jim was about, l
tell ye wot, I'd-roost high"
"What ails dis Peoples of Ameri-
ca says.ap old traveller from Ger
many, "isdot dey walks nit derlegs
too mscR in der shtreet g4rs out, und
don't got ONE muscles some more?
Avery neat definition Of the word
suspicion" was that given by a.ieal-
Gus husband: "a suspicion is a feel;
ing that impels youto trytoa6nd out
something which you don't wish to
know"
Afew evenings ago, a mother was
hearing her little tnrsesyear old lisp
ing boy say his prayers, and when he
reached aDod bless, mama and papa,
added gHIuuzzza aor 4 antock Amen
d ittie-grfaass penny givenae1
to put1nthe coHectjpnbox at church;
Whensshe dropped IN Es coin she
eSeiaimed: rThats the way tins
honey goes pop goes the Neass''
TIE difference said the cook, DC.
tween a child of royal birth and a
young lamb is that the first is tended
in splendor, and the other is splen-
did tender.
An epitaph at Princetown, Mass,
reads !:
Here lies John Dodd
Who doged all he could
And lodged a deal OF evil,
And after lodging all he could
He could not dodge tho devil"
Robinson went up to his room the
other afternoon, and noticed ,hatthere
was only one match remaining in the
box. Nov, if that shouldn't burn
tonight when Icome in soliloquizsd
he what a fix I should be in" So
he tried to see If it was a good one.
It WAS.
An old.fashioned minister was
preaching in a tight, unventilated
church, in which 10y some means g
window was left partly open. a good
deacon during the sermon closed it.
The minister stopped, and, turning to
the deacon, said in solemn tones, I'll
I were preaching in a Jug, | believe
you would put the cork in"
Papa, didn't you whip me once
for biting little Tommy" Yes, my
child; you hurt him much" Well
then, papa, you ought to whip sisters
music master, too; he bit sister, yes
terday afternoon, right on the mouth
and l know it hurt her, because she
put her arms around his neck and
tried to choke him."
"Whatr!' said II young lady to a
sister companion, you are not gong
TO marry that tall, lean, slender, con-