Richland beacon., 1880-02-07
zEpH PARKER'S STRATAGEM.

"Sleepy, baby-faced set O people7 7
Air they! Baby-faced enough, you bet;
but / tell you, Stree, that i believe
| they're 'beOut born with all their eye
teeth cut in thei: celestial jaws; and
yew've got to get up airly, sir, if you
want to take in q ChineeW
The speaker was q hard faced, hollow.
jawed gentleman, in glossy black suit,
which fitted him very badly, and the
remark was made in the smOking-roOm
of the Continental" There he was
to be seen daily, and he was supposed
to have "given the speckylaters fits in
ile;" in other words, he was believed
to have made fortune in petroleum.
At all events, he had plenty of money,
and was very generous in the spending
Of it.
The conversation had turned on the
vexed Chinese question, and he struck
into the discussion.
"I reck'lect," he said, "there was
Zeph Parker. He was long O. me and
q few more up to Nevada, JUS 'beout
the time of the silver craze. The boys
lad been washing for gold; honest-like,
meow gittin' it out O. pockets, meow
outer the stream; and when done they'd
with bit O. wash out, and gone off to
another claim, Mister Washee Washee
Chinee would come and 20 over the dirt
after them and be satisfied with what
he got. Then comes the silver craze.
All O. us goes of and loses all we'd made
in gold, gifts no silver, and comes back
disappointed to try after the gold again.
oh tpv nd fpu
but no gold could we get; and all 'beout
rs was them smOOth-faced, pig-tailed
Cinnamon, gettin' on prosperous and
contended.
"I tell yew,' said Zeph, I shall 20
and murder one O. them smilin' teapots,
can't stand it much longerP
"This here was in our bit of tent,
when We was trying to make ourselves
happy, playin' poker on credit and
keepin' no account.
GO" What forT / sez.
"What for? cries Zeph. Dew
yew think that I, an enlightened sitter
zen of free country am gwine to set
down and be roboed O. my mess O. golden
pottage by a pack O smilin', washer
women-faced, opium-smokin' celestial
Jacobs? No, STREE, this dogs gwine to
bitel'
"But l don't kinder see what this
dogs gwine to bite fur ! sez. Teapot
amt done nuthin' to you
"Mateys,' sez Zeph,' gettin' on the
barrel as had been his seat, things has
come to purity pass with us, haven't
theyr
"Right. old hoss. SEE some one.
hammerin' the chest lid as had been our
table.
"Haz any man here got any to.
baccor sez Zeph.
"Nop
"Haz any man here got any old
bourbon whiskyT
"Nov
"Haz any man got any dust%
"Nop
s"'Any. -four, or pork, or boots, OF
new blankets"
'"' No, no, no, ne' .
.UThen them Chinese haz,' continued
Zeph; and what SEE is this-as it is .
sin and shame to let pack of heath
enish curses like them teapots, - never
goes to churches nor listens to par
sOns-' =
"I say, Zeph.' sez some one, when
did you 90 to meetin' lastT :
"Never you mind SEE Zeph, and
don't you interrupt . man as wants to
give you suthin' to eat. A set Of cusses,
/ sez; as never goes to meetin', and
b'lieves in nothin' but joss-houses. / say,
| it's sin to let 'em be gittin' fat on our
Iand, while we're as thin ana starved.
"As ole Zeph Parker himself Sc,
Tom Paggins.
/ .".Well, es thin ez l am, If you like,
sez Zeph. ....
This is all.very purity sez, but
we can't ge and take claim from the
teapots, Zeph: nor We can't rush 'en
and annex the dust and nuggets they've
washed out G..
"'No,' aaid Zeph, 'winkin' one eye
but We kin strategise 'em.'
. '""HOw?' / sez. Don't kinder see it
They're too deep TO be done