The Portland daily press., 1880-03-13
The Professors Experiment.
New York SUM-

firm, two make you talkative and obstinate,
and three, recklessly unreasonable.
If the waiter at the Prinz Carl in Heidel-
berg had possessed soul above drink mon
ey, he might have calculated accurately the
effect of the six half bottles of Affenthaler
which he fetched to the apartment of the
Rev. DR.. Bellglory at the 6 o'clock dinner
for three. That is to say, he might have de-
duced this story In advance by observation
OF the fact that of the six half bottles one
was consumed by Miss Blanche Bellglory,
two went to the Reverend Doctor, her faith
er, while the remaining moiety fell to the
share of young Strout, remotely of New
York, and Immediately of Prof. Schwank's
psycho-neurological section in the Universe
ty.
So when in the course Of the evening the
Doctor fell asleep in his chair, and young
Strout took opportunity to put Miss Blanche
question which he had already asked her
twice, once at Saratoga Springs and once in
New York City, she returned the answer he
had heard on two former occasions, but in
terms even more firm, while not less kind
than before. She declared her unalterable
determination to abide by her parents
wishes.
This was not exactly pleasing to young
Strout. He knew better than anybody else
that, while approving HIM socially and hui
| manly, the Doctor abhorred his opinions.
''No man." the Doctor had repeatedly said,
''who denies the objective verify of knowl-
edge derived from intuition or otherwise by
subjunctive methods-no man who pushes
noumena aside, in his impe.uous pursuit of
phenomena can make safe husband for
my child.'
He said the same thing again in great
many words and with much emphasis after
he awoke from his nap, Miss Blanche hay
ing dscreetly withdrawn.
'But, my dear Doctor" urged Strout,
'this is an affair of the heart, not of meta
physics; 'and you leave for Nuremberg to-
morrow, and now is my last chance"
"You are an excellent young man in sew
eral respects" rejoined the Doctor. 'Ab-
jure your gross materialism and Blanche is
yours with all my heart. Your antecedents
are unexceptionable, but you are intellectu-
ally impregnated with the most dangerous
heresy OF this or any other age. If should
countenance it by giving you my daughter,
could never loUk the Princeton Faculty in
the face.''
''It appears to me that this doesn't con.
Germ the Princeton Faculty in the least, y
persisted Strout. SIT concerns Blanche and
me-"
Here, then, were three people, two OF
them young and in love with each other, di-
most abstract and useless questions that
ever wasted human effort But that same
question divided the schools of Europe fol
centuries and contributed largely to the list
OF martyrs for opinions sake. The famous
old controversy was now taken up by the
six half bottles of Affenthaler, three of them
stoutly holding ground against the other
three.
mo argument in the world" said the
Doctors two half bottles, 'can shake my
decision,'' and off he went to sleep again.
mo amount of coaxing," said Miss
Blanche's half bottle two hours later in the
evening, lean make me act contrary to pa,
pas wishes. But" continued the hall
bottle in whisper, Il am sorry he is SC
stubborn"
81 don't believe it," retorted Strout's
three half bottles. "You have no more
heart than one of your fathers in1iyidual.
lied Ideas. You are not real flesh and blood
like other women. You are simply Exten.
sion, made up of an aggregate OF concepts,
and assuming to be Entity, and imposing
your unreal existence upon poor devil like
| me. You are unreal, say A flaw in log.
ic, an error of the senses, fallacy in reas-
on, misplaced promise, and what becomes
OF you? Puff! Away you go into nil. If il
were otherwise you would care for me-
well love memory, a thought, dream, a
mathematical formula, rule of syntax, OF
anything else that lacks objective exis-
tence."
She said nothing, but the tears came into
her eyes.
Goodbye, Blanche" he continued at the
door, pulling his hat over his eyes and moi
observing the look of pain and bewilder.
ment that clouded her fair face-.Heaven
bless you when your father finally marries
you to a Syllogsm"
Strout went whistling from the Prinz
Carl Hotel toward his rooms in the Flock
strasse. He reviewed his; parting with
Blanche. $50 much the better, perhaps .
he said to himself. Gone dream less in life,
and more room for realities" By the clock
in the market place he saw that it was half
past nine; for the full moon hanging high
above the Konigstuble flooded the town and
valley with light. Up on the side of the hill
the gigantic ruin of the old castle stood bold.
ly out from among the trees
He stopped whistling and gritted his
teeth.
"Pshaw" he said aloud, zone can't put
off his convictions like a pair of uncomfort-
able boots. After all, love is nothing more
nor less than the disintegration and recon-
bination of certain molecules of the brain or
marrows the laws of which have not vet been
ascertained." So saying, he ran plump into
portly Individual coming down the street,
''Hallo! Herr Strout," said the. jolly voice
of Prof. Schwartz ''Whither are you going
SO fast, and what sort of physiology talk
you to the moonT'
81 am walking eff three half bottles of
your cursed Afenthaler, which have gone
to my feet, Herr Professor replied Strout:
land am making love to the moon. It's an
old affair between us.''
"And your lovely American friend?" de-
manded the fat Professor with a chuckle.
departs by the morning train,' replied
Strout gravely
"Himmelblitzenr exclaimed the Profess
sor. "And grief has blinded you so that
you plunge into the abdomen of your ell
ders? But come with me to my room and
smoke yourself into philosophic frame of
mind"
Prof. Schwank's apartments faced the
University buildings in the Ludwig-platz; es-
tablished in a comfortable armchair, with a
pipe of excellent tobacco in his mouth.
Strout felt more at peace with his environ
ment. He vas now in an atmosphere of
healthful, practical. scientific activity that
Gained his soul. Prof. Schwartz had gone
further than the most eminent of his con-
CSLPol ttllSo Ill buC VI UU6
purely physiological basis of mind and
thought. He had got nearer than any 9TH
er man in Europe to the secrets of the nerve
aura, the penetralia of the brain, the men,
DRY scars of ganglia. His position in phil
osophy was the antipodes Of that occupied
by the Rev. Dr.. Bellglory, for example.
The study reflected the occupations of the
man. In one corner stood an enormous
Ruhmkorff coil. Books were scattered
everywhere-on shelves, on tables, ON chairs,
on the floor. A plaster bust Of Aristotle
looked across the room into the face of a
plaster bust OF Leibnitz. Prints of Gall, of
Pappenheim. of Leeuwenhoeck hung upon
the walls. Vanished dissections and wet
preparations abounded In glass vessel
on the table at Strout's elbow, the brain of
positivist philosopher fioated in yellow alco-
hol; near it, also suspended in spirits, Swung
the medulla oblongata of celebrated thief
The appearance of the Professor himself,
as he sat in his arm chair opposite Strout,
serenely drawing clouds of smoke from the
amber mouthpiece of his long porcelain
pipe, was of the sort which, by promising
sympathy beforehand, seduces reserve into