Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-11-05
A Little lie ture by an Old Maid Of the
World

World
NV dears, love is like law; II Is deal
easier to get into il than tpget outsgain.
There are thousands of ways for the for
mer: but as for the latter, it can't be
done, no ways. Take my advice, my
dears-never believe man before mar
riage, and never trust him after it. II
men, my dears, were to pay, like SER
vsn,s for everything they broke, they
wonldn't be so fond of breaking their
hearts for every pretty girl they saw.
The fortune Of Rothschild couldn't
stand nv dears. against such ruinous
amount of breskages. Why, i hsve
known a mans heart to break as often
"a an American bank. and yet he would
omen the next day with the same brass
piats on his face, on which you could
MAINLY read "assurance," and his heart
would 90 on issuing the same amount
of false notes as before. Besides, what
becomes OF all their broken hearts, L
should like to know? Where do they
all 90 to? Along with the old moons, L
suppose, or they may be keeping COM
pany. there's no knowing where, with
MI the pins that are lost, each heart be-
iny stuck through with pin, like the
curious insects in a museum. There IL
no need To- tell YOU, | am sure, my
dears. about choosing husband.
woman's instinct generally guides her
i'm those little matters. But this L Will
tell YOU, that husbands differ as much
as geese; but the softest mind IS not
ALWAYS the worst. The softer your hus-
band, the more pliable YOU will find
him: and all the easier Tor you to twist
him around your little finger. III hus-
bands trusted more TO their wives and
less to themselves. there would be more
happy marriages; but until they learn
what is due to our sex, and are July
prepared tn pay il. that happy balance
will never exist in q household, which
To the husband should be the source OF
as much joy as a large balance is at his
bankers but ut present the wife IS not
allowed TO have any share OF interest In
the one ar TO participate in the other.
Twill conclude, my dears, with giving
you few rules with regari TO the choice
of husbands in general; and though,
nv dears, have never ventured on the
stormy seas of matrimODy myself there
the fair lecturers voice slightly trem-
BLEED with emotion), still have watched
from this haven OF singie-b'essedness
many OF the squalls and breezes that
have derived no small knowledge from
the numerous shipwIecks have Wit
messed in consequence Of them, and TINS
knowledge | am only willing to impart
To all those who are anxious 10 embark
for the United States.
snail contine my observations, my
d,ars, to the small circle OF my experl.
epce OF men, such Is | have studied
round the tea table. Ii man wipes his
feet nn the door mat before coming INTO
the roo N, YOU may be sure he Will make
n good domestic husband. liaman puts
his handkerchief on his knees while TAX
ing his tea. you may be sure he will be
a prudent husband. In the same way
ALWAYS mlstrust man who will not
takSthe last piece oil toast, but prefers
waiting for the next warm batch. III Is
not unlikely he will make a greedy, sell
fish husband, with whom you viii en-
ioy no brown" at dinner, no crust AT
Tea. NJ peace whatever NJ home. The
man. my dears, who wears overshOes
and is careful about wrapping himself
well before venturing into the night air,
not unirequently makes a good Invalid
husband that mostly stops at home and
is easily comforted with slOp. The man
who watches the kettle and prevents its
boiling over. will not Tail. my dears, In
his married state in exercising the same
care in always keeping the pot boiling
The man who doesn't take tea, iil-treats
the cat, takes snuff and stands with his
back To the fire is a brute whom | would
not advise YOU. my dears. 10 marry upon
any consideration, either for love or
money. but most decidedly not for love,
But the man who, when the tea is over,
is discovered to have hal none, Is sure
10 make the best husband. Patience
like his deserves being rewarded with
the best OF wives and the best oil mother
ln-law. Ny dears, when you meet with
such q man, do Your utmost to marry
him. In the severest winter he would
not mind going to bed first. Here the
lecturer concluded, and the several
Young ladies' retired to their respective
ay,ro,iOns)