Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-08-27
Hawkeye HumOr.

N axes potatoes small.
Indianapolis fads its two nimblest
lamp lighters to be girls 10 boys
clothing.
The Philadelphia Chronicle learns
that wi lows are always i'll favor of u
secoud ballot.
Tue self-m.le man, says the New
Orleans Picayu"e. Is all right as long
a> he Is we'll ulade.
Smith is common Russian name.
but they pronounce it Teherneyoffsky.
+ Andrews Q ueen.
Tue SardfOg.an learns that cabbage
leaf IL Vi LII re- coust qu-nce than y
brick IN mans hat Oh u warm day.
Tue B ,ston Commercial Bulletin
,eard man ON tue night of the last
nomination shouting, n ih for Han.
i-ld anu Garcock."
Judge A. W. Tourgee, author of
"A Fouls Errand," received the hon.
o.ary degree OF LII D. from Roches.
ter University, New York.
A Utica girl put carbolic acid on her
iuser to remove q w1rt. Mortified
t,uu set in, aud surgeon removed the
Sart aud ,uost Of tue iager.
.'EvangeIine was played for the
l 0OO.h time in Boston, last week.
ICulcago Journal. She must have
,een very nearly "plsyed out"
mo woman" says q late philoso-
pher, twas ever known to marry q
mau whose FIRST remark on being in
troluced to her was about the weather.
"Where do the old palm. leaf fans
go?" inquiries an exchange. i" They
ion't 60 anywhere. They stay in the
ether pe"s," promptly explains the
DAnbury Nsrs.
"a fashionable London diner. out
will average three dinners q week, !"
says the Brooklyn Edgte. Poor devils |
Even u country Editor averages better
than that Boston Post. IS
The father of lot of quarrelsome
children observing them beating the
uouse-dog with clubs, remarked /:
" I'll be blamed il the children don't
love that dog like he was one Of
Them"
Some one who has been there says
that at Long Branch one has an appe-
lite that ID vigorous in the morning,
ravenOus at noon. aud as active at
uight as if the repleted past had never
been.
Ii the President OF the United States,
says the Boston Courier, felt in pro-
,oortion to his place as big as a police
man in his new uniform, he'd gro v
round-shouldered trying to dodge the
clouds.
A Japanese girl leads ono of the
classes ut Vassar. As we remarked il
eumplimenting the Jap inese minister's
wife, Mrs. Y.z,ye. on recent auspi.
cious events, the Jauanese women are
dreadful smart Buffalo Courier.
1T is weather like this" says the
Philadelphia Times. "that makes u
man yearn for the lay when the doc
true Of metempsy cLOsis shall he pu,
into practical operation, and he may
tia ie # with a polar bear and go anu
live On au iceberg"
Au advertisement says: Save you,
barr while you have it. Many young
ladies obey this advice. They tax.
their hair off before gsiug to bed, aud
carefully place it on the bureau or
back Of u chair where the rats can,
set at it. At Least. runner says they
do Norristown Herald.
An E ,glish doctor says that no hu.
man being will eat lettuce unless he
has some faint trace of tae hog in his
nature. We would like to stick pen
Into this fellow. Trace of the hog, in
deed. The doctor probably goes the
entire animal, and puts too much
onion into his salad Nycum Adver-
tiser.
Krupp, the cannon maker, says be
never had the least success in his
business until he began to drink beer
aud smoke.-l Detroit Free Press.
Beer may not hurt him, if he INDUCES
moderately; but we should think that
to drink smoke would be pretty hard
on the constitutional Norristown Her-
aid.
A mars daily conduct prevails TO
stamp his character with the impression
of truth. Quietly does the clear light,
shining day after day, refatc the igno-
rant surnise or malicious tile which
has throan dirt on a pure character.