The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-05-20
PASSING SMILES.

music but they hook too many bars.
CAN any one improve his condition by
whining? If not, whine not.
"MY burden is light" remarked the
little man carrying big torch in the
procession.
WE are told that liars shall not pros
per, yet Jules Verne has made $250,0O0
out of his original books
"YoU'RE man after my own heart"
as the blushing maiden confessed when
her lover proposed marriage.
IT'S twice as much work to spade up
ground for garden purposes as it is to dig
it over for bait.
JUDGING from the tone of the Chi.
cago papers the st. Louis girl is obliged
to 60 up stairs sideways.-Danb~y
Nelcs.
TAKEN together all the beauties OF
art and nature do not begin to interest
the nquisitive female so much as the
view she gets through keyhole.
"PLEAsE to understand" said the
honorable Billy, the other day, I'm
not such fool as look" "No," said
Bob, "that would be too much"
A MAN has invented chair which can
be adjusted to 500 different positions.
1t is designed for boy to sit in when
having his hair cut
:. They have women tramps out In
Iowa." and soon they'll be monOpolizing
that business, and poor man will be
obliged to work for a living.-W City
Derrick.
A NEW JERSEY colored man, whose
wife had left him, said "She would
come back if / frowed her some sugar;
but amt frowin' no sugar, do you
heahT'
Ir is time-honored custom in
Quincy, Fla, to salute newly married
couple by firing cannon. This is to re-
mind those present that the battle OF life
has fairly begun.
WHEN boy falls and peels the skin
off his nose the first thing he does is to
get up an yell. When Ia girl tumbles and
hurts herself badly the first thing she
does is to get up and look at her dress
81 DON'T wish to say anything against
the individual in question" said very
polite gentleman, "but would merely
remark, in the language of the poet,
that to him truth is stranger than fic
ton"
THAT was triumphal appeal of the
lover of antiquity, who, in arguing the
superiority of old architecture over the
new, said: "Where will you find any
modern building that lasted SO long az
the ancientT'
THE Whitehall Times is mean enough
to tell this: "When the professors AT
Vassar College desire the young ladies
to be good, and prepare to become
angels, they tell them that all female
angels are permitted to slide down on
sunbeams.'
A YOUNG man in Maryland started
out with horse and lance and battle-ax
to champion damsels in distress. He had
not gone five miles when red-headed
school maam pulled him off his steed
and rolled him in the mud.
WHEN tie young and tender school girl isn't think.
Isn't thinking,
OF the time when she will be allowed to vote,
Lowed to vote,
The chances are that she is coyly blinking,
COyly blinking
At SOME young man in zebra ovelcoat,
| Overceat.
-New Hapn Register.
A YOUNG gentleman in lager beer
restaurant up town is known to be in
love and to have given up eating. A
sausage being placed before him the
other day, he was seen to toy with il
awhile, and when he was asked what he
was doing he said he was carving her
name on the bark.
THE mule stood on his OF fore leg,
| Whence all but him had fed
| And kicked fierce gun cotton key,
Right on its bottom head.
The key it burst with grievous sound,
The mule, obi where was he?
Go ask him, for he stood his ground,
Brooklyn Eagle.
"PA, will you get me pair of skates
if | prove that dog has ten tailsp'
dyes, my son." "Well, one dog ha,
one more tail than no dog, hasn't hep
eyes" "Well, no dog has nine tails;
and if one dog has one more tail than no
dog, then one dog must have ten tails.
Hand over the skates, please"
IT is wonderful what fools boys are.
A charming widow of our city owns a
nice boy, and man from st. Paul wants
to be appointed deputy father to the
lad. 1t was only last Sunday that while
the st. Paul man was strolling down
Chestnut street with the lad, he asked
Club, does your mamma bang her hairr'
r Ill H., \