Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-07-23
Hawkeye Chances.
Boston made thirteen thousand dol
lars last year on dogs.

berg.
Prize fighters have come to the con
clusion that there is too much civilizl
ton in this country.
Andrews Bazdr says to beware of the
man VINO grinds his teeth while hush
ing his baby to sleep.
The Philadelphia Neps says it is bet
ter to have loved and lost than never t.
have loved a-tall girl.
The Baffalo Courier says prize
Gght is like an artificial diamOna-nol
worth tho cost of production.
81 am in favor of the elevation OF the
human race as the hangmau remark.
ed JUST before springing tho trap.
Patrick on the zebra" Plat kind oil
baste is that-tLe mule wild his ribs
on the outside of his shkin entoirly?'
Eighteen hundred and eighty will b.
known in the history of the fancy as
the year OF magnificent sporting liz.
zles.
The Oil City DerT.ch remarks that II
is u wise nlan that can recognize u cli-
Gus from tue description given on til.
advertising boards.
A Boston ice cart driver says that the
size OF the lump left at the kitchen door
depends considerably on the good OF
bad looks of the cook.
They want new name for the terri
tory that is to be cat II IRON the
top of Dakota. How would Si,tlnbul
DOT Andrews Queen.
If telephones come into use for spreah-
sermons, remarks the Derrick. the m III
who passes the contribution box will
need horse and Carriage.
Since the introduction of oleomargu.
rine great many persons don't know
on which side their bread is buttered
= Philadelphia Chronicle.
A Macon (Ga.) lady went to the post.
ettice, b. ught stalnp, asked u boy
stick out his tongue, moisteued the
stamp on it. and posted the letter.
Foreign ladies presented to the
Qu,e do not Kiss her haud, but merely
courtesy and move of sIdewlse 81 AZ
not to turn their backs upon royalty
Colured Senator Bruce is only thirt,
nile, weighs two hundred and forty
pounds and dresses we'll. He is yer,
mo lest, and never gets in .pybody )
way.
Al English physician hus carefully
noted the effects OF oatmeal on tho iIu-
man system, and he says that it makes
people cross, stlngy, Jealous AID sour
tempered.
James Redpath writes from Ireland:
"No" don't say God pity them, jusl
pity them yourself first. They need
no more prayers. bar they do need
more meal"
Since the first of April 115 .537 per-
sous, not counting children, have Wis
tied tAe Metropolitan Museum OF Art III
Central Park, New YORK, u daily aver.
age OF 6.75O.
Commodore Mutt, the dwarf, says
that kissing pretty girls gets ANVIL tire
Asome after u while. Tue Norristown
VHe,atd says he will change his mind
when lie grows up.
A party Of Boston bicyclers are going
all the way to England to take u run
around that little island. They will be
trained by sea. sickllness on their way
over.- Philadelphia Bulletin.
An indulgent Kansas parent sold his
cooking stove for $l1 III order to take
his thirteen children to tho circus. He
says II circus only comes two or three
times year, and besides, he never had
much to cook on the stove any how.
poet sends us u poem beginning
IL gaz, ut tho moon in the sky
That's right, young man, that's where
to gaze IL; it. Don't try to gaze at il
unaer tho bed or in the woodsAcd
chamber. Stick to the sky b Jston
Post.
One day during an eclipse of the sun
boy sold smoked glass at six cents
apiece. "You ought to make money"
said purchaser. YES" said the
young merchant, tours would be u
good business if the dull seasons were
not 80 long,"
The New Haven Register says that
Princess Louise frequently goes into
the Dominion Parliment and takes a
seat ON the floor. We should think
some of thehonorable gentlemen would
be Thoughtful enough to offer her a
chair.-lGallant Gregory.
A clergyman was recently prosecuted
IN England for stealing an umbrella,
which he had taken from shop in Il
shower. He was released, the judge
doubtless charging the jury d" Let him
who is without sin among you sling the
first umbrella. Buffalo Courier.
Tho Cincinnati Gazette tells of girl
Awho bought herself summer outfit
y Tor ten dollars. And that's what they
call something wonderful in Ohio.
Pooh! We know of plenty of girls right
here in Boston whose summer oulti.,
any one Of them, will cost fifty times
as much; and we aren't going to brag
about 1t either Boston Transcript.
Tho Cheyenne Sun says lady of that
city lately received the following note,
accompanied by q bouquet of flowers:
'"Doar-, ! send you bi the boy o
bucket of hours. They is like mi love
for Il. The mite shade menes kepe
dark. The dog fenil menes am your
slave. Rosis red and posts pail, mi
love for you shall never, never fale."
Ask man who don't advertise whaI
he thinks OF the business boom, and he
will tell you it is all nonsense. Ash