The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1880-04-09
WAITS AND WHIMs.

RULE Tor man who would purchase
good watch-by its works you shall
know it.
THK trouble with the midnight cat
is not so much that it cannot sing
as that it firmly believes 1t can,
IT need not be inferred that railway
companies are scared because they have
been making tracks SO rapidly.
death loves a shining mark Z which
is perhaps the reason why dead mack
eral shines on a moonlight night.
The P;canttne remarks that when a
man is out of money any change that
may come to him is for the better.
WESTERN papers are discussing the
question, "Shall married women work Y
The husband Of the period will answer
that question in the affirmative.
"WILL you name the bones of the
headF said the teacher to one Of his
class at Medical College. Give got
'em all in my head, teacher" re-
piled the pupil, "but can't give
'em."
"YoU promised to pay that bill yes
terday," said an angry creditor to
debtor. " Yes" calmly replied the
other, "but to err is human, to forget
divine, and ! forgot it."
THE conductor Of railroad train in
New York State thought he spited a
og,trln Of lnVar1 bxt ata MN
minutes ahead OF time. They had to
walk eight miles, but the girl said she
wished it was twenty.
THERE is no good reason why the
names of the months should not be
changed and Americanized. How much
more consistent it would be to substi.
tute Nip-and-Tuck for January, and
Slosh-Around for April.
THERE is always an irrepressible con-
fict going on in ones mind when he
sees a small boy taking his first smoke,
as to whether the boy is smoking the
cigar, or the cigar is smoking the
boy.
A WATERLOO woman thought she
got the best of tin peddler the other
day when she smuggled about twelve
pounds Of old copper and two sections
Of lead pipe into the rag-bag and stuck
them upon him at two cents per pound.
A CHINESE student at Andover wrote
in lady's album the following version
Of well-known peom:
How doth the little sting bug
Improve every sixty minutes s%sI
thp daV sNst
Go pickee up sting bug Juice
FIsm flowers just got busted.
4 NORFOLK County Gdsets.
A LADY trecently had a premonition
that as soon as she printed her first
volume Of poems shs would die. The
premonition was fulfilled. We would
earnestly call the attention Of large
number of poetical young ladies and
gentlemen to the fact that things gener-
ally happen without any premonition
at all. .s..
The young ladies Of Washington are
debating how they shall effectively re-
buke the ill-bred men who stare at
tenn in the street cars and stages. Easy
enough. Poke the point Of your para
sol handle into their eyes. A man, no
matter how ill-bred he may be, loses his
appetite for staring after he has an eye
punched ous three or four times. Or
the young ladies might walk.
THEY sat upon the sandy beach,
And gazed upon the sea.
When are the waves called angry wayee"
Conundrumly asked she.
"Called angry waves,n her beau replied
'Twixt wonderment and doubt;
/ give ii upln g Why, then, she cried,
Its when the waters@p0utli
Kansas CIV Tsmes.
DURING the first two weeks Of jan
nary St. Louis shipped 1,000,eOO
bushels Of corn in bulk to New Orleans.
AMONG the men who refuse to patron
ize local papers is be who gives second.
hand pair Of pantaloons or an old coat
for charity's sake, and then makes il a
point to let the editor know Of it, so that
his sheet may herald it abroad and let
the world kni Of his benevolence.
This same old lead weight on human
progress and civilization will tell you
that advertising doesn't pay.