The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1880-08-26
Short Sorts.

ever.
Always cut off in its prime AN inter-
est coupon.
! People who live in glass houses should
pull down the blinds.
Knocking a friend down is sure way
of dropping an acquaintance,
Miss Kate Forsyth, John McCul-
lough's leading actress, is in Paris.
If you make it hoptional with me-"
says the Englishman, 'Ill take beer.
DR.. Tanners flvorite poem is Gray's
"Ode on q Distant Prospect of Eton."
Permit us to hint that perhaps DIR.
Tanner is in the pay of the melon
! trade
Senator Don Cameron's new mansion
is one of the largest and handsomest in
Washington.
Sanctuary shoes are advertised in
England. They are warranted not to
squeak.
The Marquis of Ripon has issued an
order ,abolishing official work on Sun
day in India.
"Please, pass the butter" as the man
remarked when he sent his goat by
rail
Ona tramp-rags. A nice figure
100000. Dr. Tanner---he is an English
man.
James Redpath, of lecture lyceum
fame, is to lecture himself next sea-
son.
Emma Abbott is writing her autobio-
graphy, which she will call "The Story
Of a Great Singer"
A punster challenged sick mans
vote on the ground that he was an i'll
| legal voter, &
A New Orleans man has just died of
eating matches. DR.. Tanner was trying
to die of a non-eating match.
The Pope's hair is now white. He
has strong and vibrating voice, and
bears himself with the utmost dignity.
The birthday of Richard Wagner,
the composer, is celebrated in Germany
with as much regularity US if he We're
one Of the neurological heroes of an
tiquity. =
Mark Twain has written to the FL
mira Aduertiser acknowledging that he
is a candidate for the presidency. How
nice bit.
Mr. Earl Marble, a young journalist
of Boston, has written the libretto of a
comic opera which Mr.. Alfred Collier
is now setting to music.
A little Jesuit: Son and heir" Ma, l
wish you wouldn't leave me alone with
the baby, cause have to eat all the
jam, an oranges, an cakes, an things
to amuse her"
An Ohio thief used wagon with a
crooked wheel to draw away stolen
wool, and the constables canght him by
following the eccentric track.
The Tennessee Jubilee Singers, by
their concerting tours, have made $3.50
600 for the Fisk University of Tennes-
see, the college for, the education of
colored people.
He was from the mountain side, and
was buying his first glass of soda. 81
wish you'd skim off that skum, boss; l
amt paying for no froth, you bet"
The Chinese are learning to chew
fne-cut tobacco, but they can never
spit with an American gentleman
while their eyes are SO much on the
bias.
General Burnside owns fifty-acre
farm at Bristol, r. L., and is voted q
success as an agriculturist by his neigh
bors and visititors, with whom he is very
popular.
Mrs. Senator Don Cameron, who is
described as a woman ofgraceful pres
ence and bright mind, and the owner
of beautiful large, brown eyes, is among
the few most admired in Saratoga.
According to one of the London stat
istical papers there are 81, ,OOO, GOO, 600
lying idle in England, at the present
time waiting for something promising
fair profit to turn up.
Professor Waterhouse, of Washing
ton University, St. Louis, has been ap-
pointed by President Hayes one of the
Commissioners to the Worlds Fair, to
be held in New York in 1888.
1t is reported that Rev. w. HI. II.
Murry adirondack" for short, who
is still abroad, is working to recover his
fortunes, and is possessed of mania
for paying his debts and recovering pos
session of his lost estate.
An Irishman of a mechanical turn
took off his gas-met1e to repair it him
self, and put it on again upside down:
At the end of the quarter it was proved
that the company owed him $3.50.
'ssWhat must do" asked mean
and conceited man of friend who
knew him well, ssto get q picture OF the
one love most?" Sit for your own
portrait" was the reply.
Tanner illustrates the value of the
will power. "A man who can look at
the good things in a restaurant window
and make himself believe that he has
Just eaten Il little too much, need never
spend cent to keep on good terms
with his stomach.
This is the season of the year when
the level-headed young man goes of,
with small sachel in one hand and
done-up pole in the other, to catch
fish; and when the elegant young lady
goes of, with a big trunk in one car and
big airs in another, to a fashionable
watering place, to catch him, and he
isn't there--not much, Marry Ann.
Three little girls had great fun in a
neighbor's house at South Bend, Ind,
during the absence of the family. They
first broke all the window panes, then
they poured several gallons Of milk on
the parlor carpet. Finally, they emp.
tied six dozen cans of rasberries and
huckleberries into a tub, and dyed all
the fine dresses they could find in the
juice.
"Mary Adams" is a mysterious fac
tory girl, in a mill at Winthrop, Mass.
She wears a thick veil while at work, or
going to and from the mill, and goes to
church regularly, but shakes hands
with no one. They say she is the
daughter of rich Boston parents, who
stopped giving her money because she
gave it all to the poor and labored as q
city missionary.
When Quinn was at a certain dinner
party there was pudding on the table
| Of 4 peculiarly attractive character.
nma of tha quests helDed himself to a.