Smyrna times., 1880-08-25
WHOLE NO. 1912.
Current Opinion.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

tuc Oes. VIE IN the world,
Tho world has much to be thankful far
Locomotives can't whistle tunes vet.
Some New Workers do not ike TO have
Mr.. Bcrgh make war on the cats. II hmrtS
their felincs. nun .
Tho average picture buyer docs not DUR.
chase pictures, but artists names, with mic.
lures thrown in. ~
1t IS well that some men are naturallv
conceitc1. They would die Of solfJisanst
were they otherwise.
kerosene oil should not be poured into
a red hot stove. This fact does not soom
TO be generally known.
A Southern Bourbon's idea Of boovor =
place where all colored men arc sIavas
and ali white men hold office.
4 baby in the house is woll.spring of
pleasure SO long as it is quiet The rest Of
the time 1t is a tornado of horrors.
One never realizes how much useless
waste there Is in this country until he sees
TWO pretty girls kissing each other.
Michml Bates, a man without arms. il on
trial in Liverpool for bigamy. lie thought
he had right to two pairs of arms.
When lady goes along the street in
new dress all other women may not be
able to follow suit, but their eyes do.
IngerSoll is a Republican, but it is very
evident that the Democrats of the South
believe with him that there is no such
place.
AS solomon says "There is nothing new
under the sum- those hieroglyphics on the
ooeIisk may be patent medicine advertise.
ments."
Actresses are the most tractablo creatures
in existence. Many OF them are managed
oy their husbands six and eight months at
time.
There arc only three circuscs in the
South, and the people down there fear that
'he education OF the young is being sadly
neglected.
man with a clean collar in his coat
pocket can 60 to the seashore and have
more fun i'll three days than a woman with
saratoga.
OO4OAON A4ASAA hllO are careful OIL their
health and do not try to vote the Rcpubli.
can ticket can live to great age in tho
sunny South.
The talk about the physical degoncracy
OF American women is all nonsense. Put
one In ten-acrc field with COW and she
will outrun the heetcst pedestrian.
Since Adams fall man has been compel
led to earn his bread by the sweat of his
brow and hear the music of poor brass
bands and hand-organs at the same time.
There never yet was women who did
not determine to make her lover stop
smoking after they were married. Tho
consumption Of tobacco increases annually.
The Atlantic City Rcvic,O finding that
there is scarcity of young men at that re-
sort has cunningly started theory to the
effect that 'salt air is good for weak
moustaches."
The Boston Post comes out in a leader
defending old maids from the shafts of
petty wit. The Post in defending old maids
honOrs itself, for it is the duty of every
journalist to protect the unfortunate.
There are very few murders in New
York city now. Those who intend to kill
somebody are waiting for the respectable
people to return from the summer resorts
SO that they can have more sympathy.
Saloon-keepers are indirectly great aid
to the cause of temperance. Were il not
for the fact that they are always careful to
fill the besr-glass half full of froth few of
their customers would go home sober.
If the time it takes race horse to run
mile is reduced during the next century in
the same proportion as during the past,
good trotter will be able to go mile in no
time and have half q minute to spare.
alt requires man of good sense to fall
in love with a plain weman," but any fool
} can fall in love with pretty one.-InGian-
apols Sentinel. And as a general thing a
pretty woman will fall in love with the first
fool that comes along