The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1880-08-11

A citizen whose hest weight never exceeded
lso pounds was the other day buying couple
Of hers Of a farmer in the market, and before
the bargain was concluded, the tive became
quite friendly, and the farmer said he had semo-
thing ON his mind 50 communicate. One efhis
boys had = passion for theasrieals and was de-
sireas II heeosning an actor. The idea was 90
strong in him that he hsd become worthless
around the sarrp. and the father was in peek
Of trouble 10 know how 10 tnrn the boys at
senti0n fre,a the feo,ligass to the ploagA,han-
dies.
dispose send him to you, and 'spese you
make fan and ridienle him and let him see
how foolish il is ?" suggested the father, and
the citizen agreed. As a result Of their plan
mig the boy walked into the citizens place of
business, on Congress-street East, next nora
ing. The father had called him hoy but he
weighed about l6e pounds, stood nearly six
fee; high. and ne had pair Of hands as large
as the chrome Of the Yosemite Valley. HIS
arrival was expected, and after few words
about the weather, the citizen qasried-
$50 you think you would make an actor,
eh >"
Eyes, kinder think So. was the reply.
'What lire woald you sakes"
swell, l kinder like tragedy"
3" Tragedy Why, yon couldn't succeed in
tragedy Lock at yonr hands. Look at those
| feet Remember your voiee You a be Kissed
oE the stage, Don't never think Of tragedy. .
How would do in drama ~ asked the
boy.
"Not at sll. In the first place, your ears
are too large. Then your heels stick out toe
far Then your hands would hide half the
other actors. Don't try the drama, for you
will be a dead failure"
Gould do anything in comedy ?"
! Not thing. The sight Of you in comedy
would be the ssae as the sight Of hearse on
the stage. All the fseial expression you have
is behind your ears"
/ 1--we thought some Of being = niger miu-
strel. observed the boy. after long silence
That's the worst Of all. tell you, boy,
/ you'd better stick TO the farm. You are not
/ the idea.
couldn't act as usher"
"No, Sir YOU are too stiff in the knees"
"Conldo't take tieketss ?"
Never, Your hands are too big for that
work"
"Gouldu't shift scenes 90
No; yon are too big and unwieldy."
There WAS long and painful silence.
Then the boy rose up and said
"Well, I'm bound to 20 into theatricals. L
1 can't De anything else. III be the fellow thai
stands at the door to raise row, aud I'll be
gin on youi Come over here -
He hauled the adviser over the table. clutch.
ed him by the small Of the back and spun hin
around, slammed him against the wall, auC
dropped him to get better hold. When tn,
curtain rose on the next act there was strict.
ly private conversation going on between
Hamlet and the ghost, and the ghosts Goa
was ripped Up the back and his collar tori
open. Then Hamlet suddenly demanded in
loud voice
''Caitiff! do you declare that cannot act .
Then the CHEST lodged around the table anS
replied
No, dou't You are all right-you are .
spleaiid actor-yon can't help but win -
And you'll tell my father sos'
I" will-you bet l will -
eff you don't"
Here Hamlet took three steps forward. tw,
back scowled his 6ercest, and the shos
jumped behind the stove. and vowed that he,
even pay $50 for private box on the night o
the debut
- Tis WELL" said Hamlet: and he wen
over 70 the market to see If he could sell thre,
pecks Of onion sets for cash down.-Detrui
Free Press.