The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-11-30

s"fo count"
emo"
"What do you dor"
81 wait for school to lot out"
Guilty OF Wrong.
Some people have fashion Of con-
fusing excellent remedie, with the
large mass of "patent medicines" and
in this they are guilty of q wrong.
There are some advertised remedies
fully worth all that :s asked for them,
and one at least we know of-HOp
Bttters. The writer has had occasion
to use the Bitters in just such climate
as we have most Of the year in Bay
City, and has always found them to be
first-class and reliable, doing all that
Is claimed for them.-1'ribune.
WHEN Quin was At certain dinner
party there Tas pudding OH the table
Of peculiarly attractive character.
One of the guests helped himself to a
have GUMS opinion, pushed the dish
toward him and invited him to "taste
the pudding" "Pray," said Quin,
looking first at the gentleman's plate"
and then at the dish, (which is the
pudding?'
SAID Angelina, suddenly breaking
the oppressive silence, "Don't you feel
afraid of the army worms, Theodore,
that are coming 50 rapidly this way?"
Ihe question was SUCH a strange one
that Theodore's surprise caused him to
look right at Angelina for the first
time in his life. Why did she ask that
question, he wanted to know. "Oh,
M bsi oI, toI ol~1
with her fan; ION y the papers say they
eat every green thing wherever they
CO."
NOTHING is so admirable as logic. A
German traveller hurried out Of the
car, tired and dusty, and setting him
self at restaurant table cried out,
"Walter, bring me beefsteak!" The
waiter replied that he would be charm
ed to do SO, but that it took twenty
D'inutes to cook steak, while tho
train only waited ten minutes. The
kindly and sweet-tempered traveller
retor'ed. well, then, bring me half \
b. e'steak."
"WE don't want all this, we don't
want it," said an attorney over in the
court house the other day to voluble
old lady on the witness stand, "It Is
Irrelevant" But tho witness paid no
heed and talked on, finishing with,
"There, you've got it, whether you
want 1t or not, and it isn't irreverent,
either.
BRAN1E IL philanthropist. Lying
on the sofa the other morning, ir was
noticed that he was very particular to
brush off every fly that alighted OIL his
waistcoat, but d Id not seem to mind
those that rested on his face. He ex-
planned that he hadn't been to break
fast, and he presumed 1t would be bad
empty stomach.
With all the competition in soap,
Dobbins' Electric so: D, (made by
Cragin s. Co., philadelphia Pa.,) is
first in popularity, because it Is pure,
uniform and honest. Have your gro
Ger get 1t and then try it at once.
a DUTCnMAN who married his SEQ
ond wife soon after the funeral OF the
first was visited with a two hours
serenade In token Of disapproval. He
expostulated pathetlcally thus: 81
say, poys, you ought to be Ashamed of
yourself to be making all dish NOISE
ven dere vas funeral here so aoon.'
A DRoLL fellow fished a rich old gen.
tleman ont Of millpOnd, and refused
the offer Of twenty-five cents from the
rescued miser. "Oh, that's too much -
exclaimed he; "tain't worth it" and
he handed back twenty-one cents, say
ing calmly, as he pooketed four cents,
"That's about right"
AFTKcTIoNATE mother Ito her SOM
hurt your" Johnny (crying more
Justify than before)--"Bccause fell
down and hurt myself yesterday"
Mother-"Yesterda! | Then why DO
you cry to.dayP" Johnny (bawling
at the top of his volce}--"Oh, cause
you weren't home yesterday"
AN exchange gives ga recipe for
preserving the hair" But what is the
use Of wasting sugar on such stuffr
Nobody wonld cat such preserves. A
man who relishes tripe, might find q
plckled chignon palatable, but we
don't believe he would take kindly to
preserved hair.
eco you want to kill the child !" ex-
"
tip tho baby out of It's carriage on tho
walk. "No, not quite" replied the
boy; "but If 1 can get him to bawl
loud enough. mother will take clre Of
him while 20 and wade in tho ditch
with Johnny Bracerp"
QUEEN VICTORIA is a poor speaker.
She wouldn't draw worth O cent as o
lecturer. Her last speech had tho ef-
feet of dispensing Parliament, to which
1t was addressed.
a YOUNG man married a deaf and
dumb girl, but soon afterward she re-
covered both speech and hearing, and
he has applied tor divorce. He says
1t Is an outrageous swindle.
The season entertainments have
been notably free from annoyance by
coughing. DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup
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