The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-10-21
pITH AND POINT.
fAR-FEToHED- Oolong tea.
A BAD hahit-A saodv ooo4

apit-A SeeQyc coat.
A POOR sick man, with a mustard
plaster ON him, said eff I should eat
a loaf OF bread I'd be a live sandwich"
HOWEVER dirty q man may be, says
the Elmira advertiser, it is possible for
MN TO Keep a clean conscience.
1t was on account of his being turned
opt to grass that he was called Nip-a-
cud-nezzar.-PhiIadelphia Bulletin.
"A LEADING actor declined an invita-
ton to fight a duel on the ground that
he didn't believe he would make a hit.
THERE IS q man in Aurora SO thin that
he had a row of buttons put on his UNI
brella cover and wears it for an ulster
Burlington HaWk-Eye.
CARE you lost, my little fellow ?"
asked a gentleman of a 4-year-old, one
day, in Rochester. "No," he sobbed
in reply, "b-but m-my mother is"
JOSH BILLINGS has found n thing
that money cannot buy, and that is the
wag of a dogs tail. 1t is an honest ex-
preston of opinion on the part of the
dog.
"THERE, said a charming lady, with
a naive expression that made her face
radiant, pointing to an ebony case OF
china-ware, "that is my brick-bat cab
met"
"WHAT papers off my writing-desk
are you burning there ?" cried an author
to the s~ervant-girl. "Oh, only the pa
per what's all written over, sir. I hain't
touched the clean"
A MAN gets into trouble by marrying
two wives. If he marries only one, he
may have trouble; and some men have
come to sure tribulat1on by simply
promising to marry one. Trouble any
how.
Two COQUETTEs met a gentleman in
the street. "Whatl" said one. "you
passed him without bowling! You Ger.
tainly were IN love with him yesterday"
eyes, for about an hour. I fancied that
he resembled somebody with whom I
was in love for a week last year."
AN Irish agent, having been instruct
ed to raise rents, called q meeting of the
tenants, and appraised them of the inten-
ton. "You al afford it" said he
"see how the prices have risen" ST,
lence was broken by an old farmer, who
said: eyes there is no denying that.
1t used to cost a pound to get an agent
shot, and now, he jabers, it can't be done
under two" The rents have not been
raised.
MINISTER was questioning his Sun
day-school concerning the story of Eu-
tychus-the young man who, listening
to the preaching of the apostle Paul,
fell asleep, and, falling down, was taken
up dead. "What," he said, edo we
learn from this solemn event ?" when
the reply from a little girl came pat and
prompt, "Please, sir, ministers should
not preach too long sermons"
They were walking in the fields, and
Mary hesitated to pass through a lane
that contained a pugnacious-looking
goat. why, Mary" said Charles,
"come along this is the first time you
ever refused me when I asked you to
pass the butter" Upon this appeal, of
course she hesitated no longer, especial
" as she now noticed that William was
tethered.
"a FoRTUNE-TELLER was arrested in
Paris, and carried before the Tribunal of
Correctional Police. "You know how
to read fortunes ?" said a man of great
wit, but rather fond of a joke for a mag
istrate. 81 do, sir" said the sorcerer.
elm that case" said the President, "you
know the Judgment we intend to pro-
nounce Z" Certainly" what will
happen to your" Nothing" "You
are sure of that?" "Yes; you will acquit
me-" "Acquit your" "There is no
doubt about it." "Why?" Because,
sir, if it had been your intention to con-
denim me, you would not have added
irony to misfortune" The President,
disconnected, turned to his brother
Judges, and the sorcerer was discharged