The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1880-05-07
BITS OF WIT.
he was little lawyer man,
VINO meekly blashed while he began
Her poor dead husbands will, to scan.
lie smiled while thinking of his fee,
Tnen said to her, so tenderly,
Ion have d nice fat legacy"

Then said to her, so tenderly,
Ion have a nice fat legacy" .f
And then he lay next day In he'd
with pasters on his broken head
lie wondered what on earth he said
....z PHILADELPHIA Tiwes.
The young onion bed is now a scenter Of
attraction - Toledo Blade.
A man makes slight mistake when he
sights an old rend.-Nep Orleans Plea.
yuRe. ... .
it Is IN base drum that two heads are
better than one.-Cincinaah Saturday
Night. ..s..
The past is gone," said General Grant
at New Orleans. Those who think the
past is yet to come ara disappointed.
The reason David employed a sling ON
deliah was because he couldn't get any
giant powder. Cincinnati Saturday Might.
1t is natural as life that women should
De fond OF ribbons. Because, you see, the
first woman was made from a rIb.b BONE
Andrt~s' Queen.
Don't be afraid" said a snob to a Ger
man laborer; "sit down and make yourself
my equal" al would haff to blow my
praips out" was the reply of the Teuton.
The New York Euening Post objects to
prefixing "the Rev." to the names of
clergymen. But there are some of them
who have nothing else to indicate their
profession !--Butalo Erprsss.
The Burlington Hawkeye remarks that
"as you travel around the country you are
more and more impressed with the convic-
tion that the chief end of man is to paint
patent medicine signs on the fences"
Mr.. Tilden is suffering from a severe
cold in the head, but he is happy yet, and
daily sings b,s roundelay, "Berrily every
heart is bounding, barely oh oh barely
Oh "-Burlington Hawkeye.
The base ball season has already opened
brilliantly. Three players have been dis
figured for life. and an umpire has been
called. red-headed old hog and chased
four miles over muddy road.-Boston
Post.
When mans wife comes in and sees
him razor in hand and with his face all
lather, and asks him: "Are you shaving?"
it's provoking thing in him to answer,
"No, I'm backing the stove" but it's
human nature to so reply.-Boston Post.
Some folks pretend to say that Theodore
Thomas will try to lead the music of the
angels or raise row when he gets to
heaven.-Dstroit Free Press. AS il man
who has lived six months in Cincinnati is
ever going to get to heaven. -Louispils
Courier Journal.
Not long ego, iu the Court of Appeals,
an Irish lawyer, while arguing with ear
nestness Of his cause, stated point which
the court ruled out. "Well," said the
attorney, "if it place the court, if am
wrong In this, have another poiut that I,
aqually conclusive" ... ~.
What's the matter, JoLnuy-not at
school? Are you ill?" No, I've struck.
You see, was getting ten cents week
Tor taking no sugar in my tea, aud Bill
he gets fifteen, and want my
rights. I'm workiugmau. ."-New York
Commercial Adoertiser. !
Scene at Williams college. Junior trans
ating New Testament. And the-an-
and the Lord said, Lord said unto-unto
Noses" Here he hesitated and looked
sppealingiy at neighbor, who being also
,nprepared, whipered, "Skip3it." Junior
going on: "And the Lord said unto Moses,
kip it," Great CONSERVATION ensssd.
When the Democratic Jonah isn't marrying,
Some gay and festive maiden out of hand,
lie loves to let his party know he, he's ,,arryine.
For a further space within this saddenei land,
......-..... -r-. Ia. saddened land,
When the Sage of CIPHER Alley isnt LAYING. ,
About certain ancient income tax, ..
... Income tax, |
He loves to make believe that he's withdrawing"
He's withdrawing"
While quite the contreary arc the facts,
Are the facts
The threat that Kansas is too cold a |
Innate for the colored man to live in was
Vell answered by proposed emigrant
rom southern State the other day. A
White man was telling him of the climate,
Vhen he asked: "Oh, Mars B3b, amt
lat Kansas de place dc big squabble was
ver afore de wah, bout you white folks
akin de niggers to?" "Oh, yes" was
he reply. "Wall den, eff 1t was good for
lave niggers, how comes 1T to be so bad
or free ones?" No answer when last
e ard from.-Dsncsr Times. Sd.