Smyrna times., 1880-07-14
WHOLE NO. 1906.
Current Opinion.
PHILADELPHIA EVENING NEWS.

Susan B. Anthony says twas the ouietost
lth OF July since l77G.
A fact not generally known-tbat yool
10" IS running for president
1t viii soon be time to stereo,yne tho
headline, Another Lie Nailed"
So many good men are going wronr tbot
the wicked DO not get hall a chance.
Some people give no quarter-whep thew
''n 1901 you with a twenty,cent piece.
The chief difference between = robbIo
stone and an early peach is in the color
Inc rebellion in Buenos Ayres is ended
ana the world can once more breathe freely
DR.; Tanner learned the art of living on
ar ar when he was editing a country newspa.
The penalty Of success is to be bored bv
inc attentions Of people who used to snnb
you. emu
A Germantown man has given his gnI
Paoy the pretty and appropriate name of
Insomnia. '-'0 u
=. About all that interviewers can get ont Of
General Hancock is that he does not read
the papers. ' 's''
A brooklyn deacon who snent Sundor
IN Delaware says tishworms are very scarce
in that State.
NO lady armed with fashionable parasol
need lear to cross ten.acre field. The
COWS will run first.
Misfortune may bring out the best and
Uhe worst that there Is in a man, but it gen
orally brings out the worst first.
Guinea fowls are better than watch dors.
lor no tramp or burglar will go within a
mile OF a guinea fowl unless he is deaf.
Most mer choose their wives as they
would partners for dance, but in selecting
business partner they exercise greater
caution.
humble bees have a nest in a fire plug at
Heading, and the people are praving that
no fire will break out in that vicinity before
midwinter.
Patience and good temper cost nothing
OUT an effort, yet are worth more in hot
weather than a well-stoclled ice-house and
ten.dollar fan.
Unless something is done to stop the
manufacture and sale Of toy pistols the
national holiday will, before long, be known
as the fatal Fourth.
Mrs. Brevity, having twice failed in her
attempt to commit suicide, is now unde.
cided whether to GO to Texas or to take
trip on a Sound steamer.
When Prince Leopold left Niagara he
! gave the hotel keeper his photograph and
a gold match box, all the property he had
left after settling with the hackman.
A St. Paul negro fell off building thirty
teet to the pavement, striking squarely on
his head. lie was all right in day or two,
but will have to pay for new flag stone.
1t is not wicked for lady to worship her
new bonnet. The average bonnet resem.
bles nothing "in the heavens above, the
earth beneath or the waters under the
earth"
Queen Nictoria's visit to Ireland is an
official one. She intends to investigate the
rumor that some of the people there did
not have their regular three meals day
last winter.
Grindstones made of wood and covered
with emery-paper are being peddled around
the country. They are only good for
sharpening up the wits of the purchaser
after the peddler has got out of sight.
A patriotic New Jersey man was delight.
ed to see what he thought was an Ameri-
can eagle come and perch on the liberty
pole in front Of his house; but his joy was
short lived-it turned out to be nothing
but mosquito.
AS Blondin has become SO old that no
one believes he can again cross Niagara on
a tight rope without tumbling in and being
whirled to eternity, it is thought his exhi-
bition there this summer will attract an
immenss crow of visitors
Before the Arctic expedition steamship
Gulnare sailed it was charged by excellent
authority that she was unfit to 60 to sea.
No attention was paid to the matter. The
Gulaare started, and has now been obliged
to put into st. John for repairs.
A Philadelphia lawyer, who has been in
vited to deliver an address at an agricul-
tural fair, has bought a box of earth and
| planted some seeds in it. He has the
| theories down fine, but thinks little agri
cultural practice might be an advantage.
The bright and shiney appearance on
black cloth after it has been used long
time can be removed by sponging it with
gin. This fact was discovered by homeo-
pathist, who noticed that the cloth woRn
by men who took too much gin always had
a shiney appearance.