The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-10-12

over there, stranger ~ said one of them
to him. He said he did, whereupon
the settler added: "Well that's an
iron spring, that is, and It's 80 power
full that the farmers horses about here
that drink the water of 1t never have to
be shod. The shoes just grow on their
feet naturally.
A Wise Deacon.
" Deacon Wilder, want you to tell
me how you kept yourself and family
we'll tho past season, when all the rest
of us have been sick so much. and have
had the doctors visiting US 80 often"
Bro. Taylor, the answer Is very
easy. used Hop Bitters in time; kept
my family we'll and saved the doctor
bills. Three dollars worth of it kept
us wcll and able to work all tho time.
I'll warrant 1t has cost you and the
neighbors one to two hundred dollars
apiece to keep sick the same time"
Deacon, pl uso your medicine
hereafter.'
SUNDAY morning Brown told his
wife he did not feel able to go to church,
but that she might take the children
and go, while he would see If he
couldn't walk off the deathly feelings
oAtAo S"Iio ofCi HlW. Liz programme
was carried out, and Brown came home
feeling very much better; but now his
Wife is anxious to know why he had
four anglo worms in his coat pocket.
Some women make themselves disa-
grceable by being so inquisitive.
a SOLDIER was sentenced for des ert.
Ing to have his ear cut off. After un.
dcrgoing the ordeal, he was escorted
out Of the courtyard to the tune Of
'Thc Rogue's March, He then turn
ed and In mock dignity thus addressed
the musicians: 'Gcntlemen, | thank
IT is good thing for Noah that he
had the only ark afloat in all the uni
verse at the time Of the flood. Ifthere
had been just one more ark, there
would have been collision the third
day out. unless those things were man.
aged better then than they are now.
And probably they were not, rs it
seemed to be considered dangerous to
send out more than one ark ut Il time,
The fact that Cragin s. Co., Phila-
delphia, Pa, (Dobbns' Electric Soap,)
confidently base their claims on the
merits of tho soap, and only ask a trial,
speaks volumes. We know that the
soap tells good story. Try it.
Two grammarians were wranglinp
the other day, one contending that it
was only proper to say, /" My wages Ia
that the correct thing was, "My wages
are high" Finally they stopped day
lasorer, and submitted the question to
him. (which do you say, "Your
wages Is high,' or "Your wages are
high ?" ooh, off wild yer NONSENSE
he said. resuming his pick, eyer nay
ther ov ye right; me wages Is low,
bad luck to 1t.
THE train was just about to leave
when the pert young man pulled out
his watch and said to the conductor
"Have got time to 20 across tho street
and get glass of bcer2' "There is
not time now to get one glass, but
there is to get two, If was to let my
self down tar enough to take the hint.
ALI aboard -
a YOUNG and beautiful Philadelphia
maiden was rapidly sinking with the
lock- jaw when her physician conceived
the happy Idea of holding n spoonful Of
Ice cream to her lips. The moment he
did so she opened her Jaws and shriek-
ed, "Don't give me little plate, make
it big one."
THOUSANDS Of persons who arc bald
to-day might have full heads of hair If
they would only use Carboline, de.
odorized extract Of petroleum, which
Is the only preparation ever discovered
that will really do this
SCENE at q ball:
Leaning against the mentel piece,
first dancer sm others frightful yawn.
"Boredr" suys, kindly, second dan
cer.
""RSyi''.h'|y; "a bwfnilr =; And yo"'"
"Let's 90 home. theni"
"Cawn't! l live here!"
ctr you are quiet, honest citizen,
| now did these skeleton keys and brass
knuckles happen to he in your coat
pocketsf" ~ reckon, Judge, mo and
the policeman must have changed
coats In the scuttle. We were very
much excited.'
FOREIGN hair can be worn so nat
uraily as to make 1t difficult to toll
|
AS IS the golden tress OF hair in but
ter, so are unkind words from the l,ps
Of beautiful woman.
| LAD1Es arc not entitled to bare arms
"hen they have to load them with
powder.
kNocKiNa friend down Is q sure
way Of dropping an acquaintance.
TAKE care" seys an exchange. Well,
lake 1t In small doses If you must.
The hrst meal that DR.. Tanner eats
was of course breakfast.
hour. s 'h0
| ts oURh, d." tRoMrr AND THosoUGu are tho oharoc
| . nmiS 'Cs OF Or. Jaync's CarmlWtivc B Bisam' IL,
ne %, ,m1 , ,inue u known everywhere for years