The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-07-08
CHUCKER'S PANTAIOONS.

CHUCKERS PANTAL00NS.
How far il lis expedient to convert a
railway carriage into dressing-room is
n question which would be quickly
solved in the negative in continental coun-
tries where guards walk along the foot
boards and collect tickets while the train
is in motion. But in England passen-
ger who likes to change his attire in a
first-class compartment is pretty secure
from interruption; at least 80 thought
Mr.. Barnaby Chucker, as he alighted
from hanson ut Paddington and rushed
across the platform, holding a railway
rug and carpet-bag, which contained q
complete change Of raiment-to wit, dress
clothes.
Mr.. Chucker hadreceived an invitation
70 dine at Windsor with some friends of
influential position, but being busy
man, he had not found time to dress at
his Office in the city, or at his chambers
In the West End. Stepping into the
train, he slipped shilling into the hand
of the guard, and said: keep me this
compartment, please, as / want TO dress. I"
"An right, SIR" answered the guard:
and the next moment the train started.
Mr. Chucker then unlocked his carpet
bng and drew out q clean shirt, with
other equipments necessary to his per-
feet adomment
1t must not be supposed that he did
tins without reluctance, for he was a
great stickler about all the proprieties of
life. He objected to seeing things out of
place or dong things out of season. III
ne had caught his best friend changing
ms pantaloons In n railway carriage he
would have thought meanly of him for
being OF disorderly habits, and so now he
Judged himself with candid severity for
not having better regulated his own time.
If an accident occurred" mrised he. as
he removed his coat and waistcoat. :" I
wonder what would be thought of me for
being half undressed in train?"
This reflection made him redden. He
was q shy, middle-aged man, with large
rcd ears and fat horid face. The effort
OF pulling of his boots always sutfused
his countenance with crimson. and Il flid
so now, insomuch that, what with the
color that came from physical exertion
and that which resulted from a troubled
conscience, Mr.. Barnaby Chucker looked
truly distressed Having removed his
boots, he denuded himself of his trousers
This was trying moment, for if an nc
cident had happened then. "Why. wbv
dear me-" calculated Mr.. Chucker. at
this stage Of his cogitations, "I-think
the train is stopping" 80
The train Was stopping In effect, as
Mr.. Chucker might have foreseen that IL
would do, since he was not travelling by
express, but he had been SO enwrapped
IN his self-upbrading thoughts that he
had not even noticed the first slackening
OF the engines speed He now found
himself In very litter of clothes, and
with no time to redress himself before
the train stopped He had to decide
hastily whetherhe would steam alongside
Ealing platform in his shirt-sleeyes or
minus his pantaloons. He chose wisely
IN huddling on his coat, which he but
toned mp, while he covered his lower
man with his railway rug. This done.
he collected ms many of his belongings as
he could into his bag, kicked his boots
undera seat and tried to look dignifed.
The train had come TO a stand-still now,
and guard opened the door of the car
riage in which our poor hero was sitting,
and cried: There's room here, sir, for
you and this lady"
HE, guardp exclaimed Mr.. Chucker,
leaning out in horror, "you told me I
should have this compartment to my
self"
Unfortunately for our modest friend,
the guard to whom he had given the
shilling was not the one appointed to
travel with the train. These little mis-
takes often occur, and lead to unpleasant
consequences The present guard said
bluntly: II can't give You a compart-
ment to yourself unless you pay for it,
sir. It's against the rules. Here, madam,
step in, please"
A lady who looked in very delicate
health got into the carriage, and. gen.
tleman with her. Mr.. Barnaby Chucker
felt ready to swoon. Before he could in
form the guard Of his readiness to pay
for whole compartment sooner than
have his privacy intruded upon, the
train was OF again, and Mr.. Chucker fell
To rejecting how he should effect his
change of carriages at Slough, now that
he was in no fit state 10 step on to a
platform. The train in which he trav,
eled was not bound straight for Windsor
but Tor Birmingham, and Mr.. Chucker
would have to change at Slough il he
wished to dine with his friends that
evening. ~ = ~ -
Almsl more urgent difficulty than
that involved in change of carriages
soon presented itself to him; for no
sooner had the train started than the
lady who had Just stepped in began to
moan and to slIiver, saying that she felt
cold all over. Her husband sought tc
quiet her, but IL was all of no use, for
she was really i'll. At last the poor man
looked in despair at Mr.. Chucker and
said,
Excuse me for taking great liberty.
sir; but would you bc so kind as to lend
my wife your rug? We started in a
hurry, and forgot to bring one As it lis
not cold day, perhaps you would not
mind obliging MS as far as Slough, where
shall be able to buy rug?"
"Eh?" grunted Mr.. Chucker, stupefied.
The request completely staggered him,
and he could find no words in which tc
reply. :.
Would you kindly lend this ladv vour
rugT repeated the gentleman, rather
astonished.
"Hoo% growled Mr.. Chucker, in n
voice like bears 1t had just occurred
TO him that the safest way to get out of
his difficulties would be to sham being
mad A Frenchman would have quietly
beckoned the gentleman 10 the other side
OF the carriage, aud would have explained
the dilemma with a laugh. But English
men are persons full of niceness, and Mr..
Chucker dared not confess TO stranger
that he had no trousers ON. He repeated
"HooT two or three times over, and his
stratagem succeeded perfectly, for both
ms fellow-passengers became convinced
that they were travelling with lunatic.
The lady began 10 scream. Her nerves
were so unstrung that they could not
@tAnd thiA extra ahock and 4ha4 f,el.sl