The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-08-04
VARIETIES.

never mind putting up tombstone.
Many men claim to be firm in their
principles, when really they are only
obstinate in there prejudices.
Wise men talk because they have
something to say; but tools talk be-
cause they want to say something
The difference between perseve-
rance and obstinacy: One is a
strong will-the other a strong
won't.
A mirror is the only tolerated
medium of reflection upon womans
beauty, and it is the last that is dis
carded.
Whoever is honest, generous,
courteous, and candid, is gentleman,
whether he he learned or unlearned,
rich or poor.
A young lady OF Lynn was Tilted
by her lover and her hair turned
gray in single hour. Poor girl !
She will, probably, dye.
Said the Arkansas man Il respect
religion, but can you fairly expect
me to attend church when there is
circus in town demanding support? :"
Bridget, what became of tina: tai
low l creased my boots with this
morning? ?" II fried the buckwheats
in it," "Oh l was afraid you had
wasted it,"
"My DEAR" said an anxious mat
ron to her daughter, cit is very
wrong for young people to be throw
ing kisses at each other" "Why so,
mamma? I'm sure they don't hurt,
even if they do hit"
IL would box your ears" said a
young lady recently to her stupid
and tiresome admirer, "if-" I'll
what" he anxiously asked. SIT l
could get box large enough for
the purpose"
He was informed that a lady had
called to see him in his absence. GA
lady," he unused aloud, "a lady"
Upon an accurate description, he sud-
denly frightened up and added "Oh
dot vas no lady; dot vas my vite."
He was little verdant, or he
never would have said perhaps
had better walk % Ill Y ss iSm e
to settee where we can set to-
gether." "Ohl no." she replied
sweetly; 'you sit down in the chair
and l will be the settee."
"My dear boy" said mother to
her son, as he handed round his plate
for more turkey, "this is the fourth
time you have been helped" IL
know it, MOTHER" replied the boy,
"but that turkey picked at me once,
and l want to get square with him."
He got his turkey.
Going home from church, she re.
marked to her husband odd YOU
notice that bald headed man in
front of us, and how young he
looked I never saw ore so young
before with bald head" Then he |
shut her up by replying: "My dear,
l was bald headed before | was a
year DID,"
Stranger, want to leave my dog
in this Office till the boat starts. I'm
afraid somebody will steal him."
"You can't do it," said the clerk.
"take him out" swell stranger. that
is cruel; but you're both dispositiioned
alike, and he's kinder company for
you" "Take him out = roared the
clerk. "Well, stranger, 1 don't
think you're honest and you want
watching; here, Dragon" he said to
the dog, "s,t down here and watch
that fellow sharp" and turning on
his heel, said, "Put him out, stranger.
if he's troublesome" The dog Law
there till the boat started, Watching
and growing at every movement of
the clerk, who gave him the better :
hall of his office.
A young girl, about as pretty as
they grow 'em, recently went into :
a Cedar Rapids music store and 3
asked the clerk inquirir ely, if he n
had "A Heart That Loves Me a
Only?" NO." he said, shut here h
"a Health to Thee, Mary" That
wouldn't do, but before she turned
to go she asked Zone Sweet Kiss % %
Before We Part ?" That Cedar Ii
Rapids clerk looked up and down "a
the store; the book-keeper was out, i,
the boss was up stairs trying to sell b
a granger wheezey old melodeon,
and so he leaned over the counter r.
and turned out about half dozen of &C
the best and most artistically fin az
lshed article that the astonished St