The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-08-05
NO 81
CITIZEN SALAD.

and so does the crop of candidates.
Early fruit and early graves are
convertible terms at this eeason of
the year.
A cake that the small boy doesn't
relish at this precise moment-the
stomach cake.
Vote as early as yoa please to-
day but don't vote often-unless
you are a candidate.
Beware Of cider in the bud. It
goes down like streak of cool
sweetness, but when it strikes bot
tom look out for wretchedness and
a doctor.
Why, in the name of the internal
gods, doesn't the Hon. John Belli-
dAnnt mount the stump. Can it be
possible that his suspenders are not
equal to the eplergency2
Why should prosperous country
want a change-Rep. exchange. |
For the same reason that a man in
good health wants to change bis
socks after he has worn them an
unreasonable length of time.
The democratic party OF Tennes-
see, with its doughfaced gubernato-
rial figure head, has been ale-ing
long enough. Suppose We try a
stronger oeverage-Portcr, for in
stance. James d. is an excel
lent brand.
IL the Honorable John Balloon
fat should succeed, with the aid of
derrick, in mounting the stump
without permanent injury to his
breeching, and howl till the sur
rounding hills culver to their bases,
what thenP We give it up.
The convention last Monday did
its work quietly but effectually. If
the convention at Nashville next
week doesn't adopt a bomb proof
state-credit platform and turn its
back upon c.eam-faced tFimmers
like Marks, 1t will not be the fault
of the Giles county delegation.
The vilest charge the base miscre-
ants of the republican press have so
far trumped up against Gen. Han
cock is that he wears striped stock
ings. This mendacious assevera-
ton will prove innoouous, though,
for the American people can never
be made TO believe that the legs Of
the illustrious warrior and states.
man who heads our ticket resemble
couple of BARRIERS poles.
1t is still whispered, softly and
seductively, that the Honorable
John Ralloonfat is sternly bent on
making the canvass for congress in
this district, but so far we miss his
mighty paunch on the hustIngs.
The suspense is dreadful. Trot out
your intestines, John; time hits,
and if it is predetermined that the
campaign in this district must ter
inmate in a slaughter house. the
sooner We know it the better.
One of our colored friend 8, whose
face was strangely unfamiliar, APP
preached us last Monday and an
nounced his Intention u voting for
Hancock. He said the country
needed u change; that the vices of
the republican party had sickened
the public stomach, and that the
colored man Was just beginning TO
see that the higher obligations Of
citizenship imposed upon him the
duty of relegaling To obScurity the
mercenary wretches Who had been
pulling the wool over his eyes for
more than a decade. This candid
declaration, coming from such a
source, caused our heart TO swell
with emotion, but the swelling went
down fast when the dusky patriot
asked us to give him ten cents from
our campaign fund. Confonnd the
fellow, he must have thought We
had old Tilden's bari of money at
our disposal.
Our amiable, but somewhat al
phabetical friend, S. 4. e. Doak. Of
The Herald, insists that we are a
mighty eater. We plead guilty TO
the soft impeachment and admit
that we are rather more skillful in
hiding comestibles than our genial
conirere is at hitchIng horse 10
buggy. Many, very many, Pulas-
kians remember with unfeigned
sorrow his exploit in that line at
Pleasant Hill. Shades OF Bucepha.
lus! how Haynie Rose and Jim
Jackson would have beloved had
they seen our neighbours turnout
when it was ready for the -oad.
The right shaft was raised Rloft un-
til the point was within two inches
Of the horses eye, while the left
one was depressed until it scraped
his knee joint; the stomach band
had been drawn up so high and
light that the animal was fore
I'd to stand on tiptoe and rest
himself on the traces which had
been passed between his hind legs.
Besides, the poor beast was hitched
70 far forward on one side, so far
back on the other, so high up on
,op and so low down on the bottom,
hat nobody could for the life Of
him tell which way be would
90 when he got a start. We con-
Iume vast quantities CT food, we
admit, but we don't adjust harness
a