davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
Paste This in Your Hat.

If lawyer should be asked to tell the
secrets of his client, or if doctor were
asked to reveal what he learns in the
sick room, by parties who only seek to
CRAFTY curiosity, such parties would
very likely meet with firm reproof.
Why is it then that, when an article ap-
pears in newspaper, as correspondence,
or when something editorial attracts
more than the usual attention, there are
persons who will ask the editors of that
paper, "who wrote this article" or
" who wrote that article?" And yet
such questions are asked every day. If
editors should give away" their cor
respondents, or should tell the sources
of their information, they would very
soon lose the confidence of such per-
sons, who would very likely thereafter
take no pains to serve them.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
The Postal Card Fiend.

Where is the postal-card fend7 Where
is the man who can write niEe hundred
Thousand words, more or less, on SIM
gle postal7 He doesn't seem to be as
numerous as he was few years ago. He
has very likely succumbed to the fifteen
puzzle. His attention is merely called
to the fact that he Is hopelessly dis
tanced. There is to be an exhibition at
Dusseldorf, which opens on the 9th of
May. A post card will be on exhibition
there ON which is written in the Gales
berg system of shorthand the first three
books of Homer's Odessey and part
of very long debate that took place in
the German Parliament not long. since.
The whole, if put in print, would make
nine closely printed pages of the Free
Press. Let the American postal fiend
gird himself, take his trusty steel pen
in hand, write card that will beat
that, and send it to-Dusselderf.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
Husbands and Wives.

A good husband makes good wife.
Some men can neither do without wives
nor with them; they are wretched alone
in what is called single blessedless, and
they make their homes miserable when
they get married: they are like Tomp-
kin's dog, which could not bear to be
loose, and howled when it was tied up.
Happy bachelors are likely to be happy
husbands, and happy husband is the
happiest of men. A weltmatched
couple carry a joyful life between them,
as the TWO spies carried the cluster OF
Eshcol. They are brace of birds of
Paradise. They multiply their joys by
sharing them, and lessen their troubles
by dividing them; this is fine arithme-
tic. The wagon of care rolls lightly
along as they pull together, and when it
drags little heavily, or there's hitch
anywhere, they love each other all the
more, and 80 tighten the labor.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
Responsibilities Of Heredity.


Son and heir (suddenly dissatisfied
with his stature, his personal appear
ance, and the quality of his intellect)-
"Aw-what on earth evan could have
induced you two people to mawwyf"
Sir Wobert and Lady Mawish-" The
old, old stohwy, my dear boyl We fell
in love with one anothah-aw-aw-"
Son and heir" Aw-well-you're both
such awf'ly good old deaws, that for
give you. But you weally should have
had better taste, you know, and each
have fallen in love with diffewent kind
of person altogethah, and given fellah
a chancel You see, it's all owin' to
your joint intefsawence in my affaaws
that Pm under i've foot one, and can't
say bob to a goose, and-a-justly pass
for being the gweatest guy in the whole
county-awl Just look at me, confound
it'll" They lock at him, and then at each
other-and haven't word to cay.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
The Difference.


And / can't understand this doctor
business at all, lone of them was say
ing, as two women passed into the post
Office yesterday.
"What's the trouble now?"
Well, the old man groaning around
again.
:" With what3"
"Heaven only knows, but it has cost
me fifty cents for the prescription.
That's where the mystery comes in.
Every time my old man is bit ailing
the doctor he comes and looks at his
tongue, counts his pulse, and orders
gin-siings and chicken SOUP"
Is it possible :"
And when wake up with a chill, q
backache, bad mouth and dizzy
head, and faint away over the break.
fast, the doctor ne comes in, tracks uI
my clean floor, scares my canary into 9
fit, and gees away saying: You DOM
exercise enough; maybe you'd like tt
wash for or familyl' tell you I be
lieve them doctors is all one-sided, ane
after this my old man has got to put NJ
with smelling at the camphor bottle
while drink the slingsl"
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
Gen. Hancock.

Among the Presidential candidates
spoken of in Democratic circles Gen.
Hancock is looming up with considera-.
BILE prominence. He appears to be
special fayorite in Louisiana and in
Texas. This is natural, for it was in
those fields particularly that he exhib-
tied high civil qualifications which COM
mend him to general favor. Though it is
his military history and brilliant services
as general that have given him general
prominence, it would be an error to con-
fine attention to these exclusively.
What gave him special prestige in
Louisiana and Texas was his determine
tion to subordinate the military to the
civil power. While in New Orleans in
1867, he issued general order to the
effect that in war force must repel force
until the lawful au uthority is established.
"But when insurrectionary force has
been overthrown and peace established,
and the civil authorities are ready and
willing to perform their duties, the
military power should cease to lead and
the civil administration resume it's nat
ural and rightful dominion. Solemnly
impressed with these views, the general
announces that the principles of Ameri-
can liberty are still the lawful inherit
ance of this people, and ever should be
preserved" In such and kindred
utterances, and his action running
through his administration at New Or.
leans, Gen. Hancock showed him to be
well versed in the Democratic theory o1
government, and possessed of admins
trative qualities Of high order. But
his friends are not confined to any sec
ton. Vermont has just demonstrated
strong attachment for him. Nor is hi
candidacy new thing. At the Nationa
Convention of 1868 he received on the
twenty-frst ballot 1861 out of 317 votes
the twenty-second resultingi in the choict
Of Horatie Seymour. Four years lstsl
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
Republican Ammunition.

The Republican party has thrived on
abuse. Abuse is generally the whole am
munition of their campaigns, national
sfmunicipal. And yet only fools give
abuse when asked TO give reasons. Ad-
herring to the tradition of their parties,
some of our Republican contemporaries
run the risk of acting the fool by resort
ing to abuse, when challenged to pub
lish evidence which would satisfy the
public that Gen. Grant was an honest
and incorruptible Chief Magistrate. We
are very certain that the staff who fur
nish the brains for these papers are not
fools. Hence we are surpriZed to see
them descend to calling names, when
few words showing how Gen. Grant has
been wronged would serve their purpose
20 effectively. Had the charges pre-
ferred against Gen. Grant been the re-
suit of Democratic research, there might
be some excuse for indignant and even
abusive reply. But when it be remem-
bered that the corruption which was
traced To the White House during his
administration was at once so monstrous
and so inexplicable that not one single
voice was found in the Republican party
to defend him four years ago, it is mat
ter of surprise to see the Republican
press of to-day without giving one rea-
son for their course, endeavoring to point
to him or their party as suitable candi-
date for the Presidency. Hence, when
we see them resorting to abuse when
challenged to give evidence to show that
the public has wronged Gen. Grant, we
must conclude that they have no such
evidence to furnish.
1t matters not little to the Demo-
cratic party whether oranot Gen. Grant
be the standard bearer Of the Republi-
cans in the next campaign. Nor do we
desire, even were it in our power, to
throw the slightes obstacle in the way of
his success at Chicago. But what we do
wish is to show that Republican jo1re
mails are advocating the candidacy Of
Gen. Grant, with full knowledge that
he is corrupt in character and are SO
doing because their interests are depend
emit on his success. IF we have wronged
Gen. Grant we sincerely desire to be set
right. Hence if they have evidence to
convince us that the public were wrong
four years ago in their judgment, let
them bring it forward for public inspec-
ton. If they have none it is no answer
to resort to personal abuse; for, even
were the whole Democratic party in the
country a body of convicted felons, it
would not make Gen. Grant an honest
man in the public eye. Therefore, along
side the abuse which is the natural sea.
soning of every Republican article, lei
us have at least a few good reasons
Ka,,sns Citu Times.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13

Mr.. Greeley was selected, under peculiar
circumstances, but never to be repeated,
or anything like it. In 1876 Gen.
Hancock, on the first ballot, received the
united vote of Pennsylvania, his native
State, two from Alabama, one from
Georgia, two from Iowa, five from
Louisiana, five from North Carolina and
two from Texas, seventy five in all,
Tilden receiving 4042. Should the
voice of the convention at Cincinnati
call him to the front, he would make a
gallant leader, and come out, as usual.
with success.-Boston Post.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
ONLY a wosrAN.


Only 4 woman shriyeled and oldi
The prey of the winds and the prey Of the cold
Cheeks that are shrui ken,
Eyes that are sunken,
Lips that are ever o'erbold,
Only woman forsaken and poor
Asking for aims at the bronze church door.
Hark to the organl Roll upon roll
The waves OF the music go over her souli
Silks rustic past her
Thicker and faster;
The great bell ceaseth its ton.
Swingeth wide open the bronze church door.
Cniy woman-waiting alone,
What do they care for herr
Mumoling prayer for her;
Giving not bread but stone.
Under old lace their naughty hearts beat,
Mocktng the woes Of their kin in the street.
Only wom4n7 In the old day
Hope caroled to her happiest lays;
Somebody missed her,
Somebody kissed her,
Somebody crowned her with praise;
somebody laced up the battles Of life,
strong Tor her sake, who was mother and wife.
Somebody Hes with tress of her hair
Light on his heart where the death shadows are;
Somebody waits for her.
Opening the gates for her
Giving del ght for despair.
Only woman never1nore poor
Dead In the snow at the bronze church door.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13

"ANToNY," said Cleopatra to her
lover, 81 attended Mrs. Pharaoh's ket-
tledrum this afternoon. Now, how do
you think they started the wheel of con-
versation thereP'
"Some fellow spoke" suggested An
tony, as he placed his feet on the mantel.
TX. K.-kwite korrect," added Cleo
patra.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
The Grant Programme.

Inc numD6E Ol tlle SOUtSS 1fJSItUCT,
published at West Union, o., that con-
tains the Pomeroy interview, is that of
June 26, 1878, not June 20, as printed in
our article published yesterday. The
Peoples Defender is the Democratic
paper of Adams County. This matter
was communicated to US through the
following letter: =z5
AuDITok's 0rFIcE, ADAMs County,,
WEST UNION, o., April Is, 1880.
To the Editor of the Commercial:
Enclosed please find copy of an account
written by the Hon. J. W. Eylor, editor of the
1878, relating an interview had with ex-
United States Senator Pomeroy, of that State,
on the cars, relative to the candidacy of Gem
eral Grant for ffthird term" in 1880. This
extract is taken from the Peoples' Defender, 4
Democratic paper, published in this place, in
its issue of June 26, 1878, which paper is on
file in the Auditors office, this county. You
are at perfect liberty to use the extract in any
way you think proper if of any use to you.
Respectfully, r. N. HOOK.
Ex-senator Pomeroy boarded the train
on which the eoitor of the Defender was
travelling, at Atchison, and in the course
of conversation Pomeroy said:
"I am for Grant in 1880. By the way, ]
needn't say the other d.y, for it was a month
ago. wrote to him to stay out Of tue country,
to GO 70 Egypt, up the Nile, anywhere for q
year and half. At the proper TINA pro-
posed to have him land at San Francisco and
there we wculd give him grand reception
and then vs. would load him on train with
flags and brass bands and cannon, and bring
him to St. Louis, where We would have an.
ether reception. From there We would go t.
Chicago, and from there to Cincinnati, wher'
the Convention would be in session. By thi'
time the country would be in blaze, ant
Graut would walk into that Convention and b,
nominated by acclamation. The letter I re
ccived in reply contained two lines, and wa
just like Grant:
"'MY DEAR OLD Thatis magui6
cent programme. Wsars well. a:I aGSras 1 GIANT,
"He did NOT say whether he was in favor o
| It or not, but we mean to nominate him. 81
is the only man we have left"
This is clear confirmation of the nov
well recognized fact, that the pomp ant
circumstance of Grants reception
around the world were deliberately pre-
pared and Systematically used with tn
view of making him candidate for tn
Presidency fer a third term, and tina
he knew all about it and consented
it. The propriety of his correspondent
with "Dear old Pomeroy'' can no
be questioned. Cincinnati Commercial
ApriI20.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
Nine. Bertrand,
Wife of
NJ. Bertrand, marble-cutter.
This monument is a specimen of his work.
Cost ], 800 francs


THE editor of the Dayton Record
found 81, 900 in greenbacfs in field
while hunting, but jas ill-luck would have
it there were four other men with him,
and one of them WAS the owner Of the
money. Ohio editors never have fair
show.
ALITTLE fellow of five going along
the street with dinner-pail is stopped
by kind-hearted gentleman, who says:
Where are you going, my little man''
"To school," And what do you do at
school7 You learn to readf" No.
[ .s To write p g No. !" !" To count y ssNo."
What do YOU do ? &c wait for school
to let out."
AFTER telegraph pole had fallen on
a Savannah negro's head he threw up
his hands and shouted: Don't hit me
again wild your club, Mr.. Policeman. It
wasn't me that stole der chichens. It
was Deacon Henry" Then he looked,
saw what hit him and walked of, saying
Golly, Pse in luck dis mornin'. I
'spected dat de policeman had me shuah
dat time"
A FEW years ago the States Attorney
in northern county in Vermont, al
though man of great legal ability,
was very fond of the bottle. On one
occasion an important criminal case
/ was called on by the clerk. but the attor-
ney, with owl-like gravity, kept his
| chair. "Mr. Attorney, is the State
ready to proceedl" eaid the judge,
i" Yes-hic-no-Your Honor" stam-
mered thelawYer, the State is not-in
state to try this case to-day; the State,
Your Honor, ,is-drunk."
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13

AN eminent physician once wrote
this prescription for patient suffering
from imaginary ills; "De something
for somebody"
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13

PHYsIo, says an old surgeon, is the
art of amusing the patient while nature
cures the disease.
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13

JOB PRINTING Of all descriptions furnished i.
order, and guazantaed to provo satiafaetory Is Z
The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-05-13
wAIFs AND wHIMs.

IHE baker motto ls, Try, try again.
He's continually making fresh tart.
IT is strongly suspected that it was
Ananias who invented the circus poster.
WHEN Boston girl goes to the fish
market to buy perch, she asks for
acanthopterygian.
URAeUAY fellow" remarked Joslin
to Smythekins. We're a Paraguay
fellows" was the retort.
I'LL have her If have to dye for
herp But he didn't have to dye to get
her. She dotted on gray hair.
7 A CoLoRED conscience goes a long
way, but bright moons and lively dogs
are the best safeguards for isolated hen
roosts-
"HoNEsTY is the best policy but as
the world wags nowadays, it is no small
matter to earn money enough to pay the
premium.
A HUSBAND telegraphed to his wife:
What have you for breakfast, and how
is the baby p, The-answer-caHae
Buckwheat cakes and the measles"
at AM always cool" was the boastful
myself" And with one voice the boys
all said, No, we never knew you to. I"
IT is said that baby will cry no
harder il pin is stuck into him than he
will if the cat won't let him pull her
tail. 1t is, therefore, cheaper to pin
him.
A SYRACUSE boy laid aside his dime
novel to go down cellar He thought
he saw q grizzly bear in the potato bin,
and in making rush for the stairs he
fell and broke his neck.
A NAN gets into trouble by marrying
two wives. If he marries only one he
may have trouble; and some men have
come to tribulation oy simply promising
to marry one. Trouble anyhow.
BROTHER, said the Dean of East
miuster to the Dean of Westminster,
!" what does the prayer,book mean by
whirled without end gn Eternally,.
gyrated, I suppose" was the response.
WISE was worth million of dol
lars, said q gentleman. What good
would it do you, for you don't spend
i your present income 7' inquired friend.
l"Oh, could be economical on large
4 scale.
i WHATS the matter ?" asks the wife
of Deputy x. on turning over and seeing
her husband sitting bolt upright in bed.
Cant you sleep?" No, hang It. /
slept all through the tariff discussions
to-day"
! Do you play eucher2n = the sad pas
senger asked the man from Whitehall.
"No," replied the man, only know
two cards in the deck, the jack of queens
and the spades of diamonds. !" They
didn't play.
"DID you sell anythingf"s asked the
proprietor of his clerk, as the door close q
ON the retreating form of shopper
Well,n said the clerk, I wanted him
to take these boots, and, you see, they
are half-soled. !"
The fear of infection. caused SONS
persons at Memphis to burn all theil
clothing, and even the prayer-book of /
deceased cholera patient was consigned
to the flames; but six SO bills found
on his person were religiously preserved
EPITAPH in one of the cemeteries:
Here Lies
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-08-20
NANHATTAN BEACH,
NEW-YORK and BRIGHTON BEACH RAIL-

QUIcKEsT ROUTE TO BRIG aTON AND COMFY
ISLAND and direct Brighton Hotel Double track
road All The way dust ferries. rough outside
age OF This company viii run Their well known fit
steamers MORRIsANiA and SHADY SIDE to their new
pier AZ Locus New YORK. leaving 22dst. N r.
~ lOi6, IIl5 a NJ. l. 2 $780, g. ol0 D. NJ. also from
n r 1870. 1885 "A. l:2o. Hl0 $40, olo,
64J D. a.. Returning leaves Brighton tConey Is and eSO
II.20 M. l1.ZO =, $40 4:10. 8. \. 10 D.
Fcsss passenger coaches equal to Dsror car on other
conveying
from per 10 brighton Beach IN Tickets TO Hotel
ghtOn and CJney slan 30 cents single rare
IS cents Children twelve aud four excursion
70 cents single fare 10 cents.
Westcott Express Company viii check baggage to and
from 81 gtOn beach Baggage checked nom residences III
ew YORK Jersey CITY,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-08-20

MONMOUTH PARK RACES, LONG
WI BRANCH, y. J.-Secepd Snmmrr Meeting 1880.
saturiar August ith. TUESDAY August i7th Thursday
August l9th, alurdsv 2lst Six Races each day
including seenlechase huaiie Kace Races cOmmen0
promptly ocock Trains directly 70 Course from 'entra
T. H. foot Of Liberty Dy sandy HOOK, 500
900 1880 n and Nv IRAN. i5 .; %. lIx5 mi
l26. 1870 p. "Trip, Including admission
kled. ~
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-08-20
On and after JUNE II, 1880

On and after JU NE II, 1880.
Express Trans leave New York. via DesOrosses and COr
landt streets Ferries, as follows: -
$50 40. 100, 30 Lmteil II a. m. $3.50 T. ii0, 3.
g. 2, $50 and 10 ald ~ night sunday 4:3O and
M s. d. I, $50 and 10 D. m. and II night
Trains leave New York dan excerpt sunday at 1880
and p. IN, running through VIA trenton ana Gam
den.
BOATS " Brooklyn Annex" with all through
Jersey CITY inording speedy and direct transfer Tor
Brooklyn travel. a., 90
Returning trans West Philadelphia 1901 3l5 4:25
736 3 $50 and IL A. Limited Express $50 p. M. ..
$40 and $50 D On sunday l2Ol, $40. s:Z5,
So, A. m. and p H. Leave philadelphia, VIA Camden
M and 800 daily ept sunday.
$50 and ga Broadway No Aston HOuse
and FOOT OF Desbrosscs and Cortandts Court St aud
prookvn Annex Depot OF FuliOn-st BROOKLYN Nos
ia ID lis Hudson Iioboken Depot Jersey city
Fmgraut Ticket Once, No. : Battery place
The Nsw,York transfer Company will all for and check
baog hotels and residences. -
FRANK THOMSON. /" = rfth'Nr'
General Manager GenefA faSsehscf Ag nL
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-08-20

90 Uhom II man Concern.
EOR SALE.-About 1,5OO tons of lake ice.
T from 10 TO IL inches tnoS. Address +. q. auDAS.
Pittsneld Mass
IF CHARLES T. PARKER will communi-
cas W. Pierce, Boston he will hear VI
hing 10 Ia anlaso Communicate Immediately.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-08-20
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD.

III
AND UNIFIED STATES MI ROUTE.
Trains leave Newl or Desbrosses and Cortand streets
Ferries. follows:
Harrisburg Piitsburg the W SC and South with Pullman
Palace Cars attached. a. III, . and $50 p. m daily.
NIlamspcrt Lock Haven am. $50 Cory and Erie
ar $3.50 D. connecting at Cory for Titusve Petroleum
Centre AMI the Oil Regions. .
Baltimore Washington and the soutb Limited Washington
Express Pullman PaTlOr cars daily except sunday, 10
a. m arrive al Washn gton 4:l2 Regular 4:3O aud
500 m; l. 4 and 10 p. m. sunday. 10 p. n: 80, -,
Express Philadelphia, 4O, 1850 500 90 Lml
te,il IL J. 800 440. 8. o. 1880 and 10 m and
II night sunday 430 and m,, D. b, Z 800 and 10
m. ami Il night -
Express for Philadelphia via Cahnen 800 m ana p m
except sunday. So. 100
oas Of BTookiyn Annex connect all Oh trains
ut Jersey City atOrding speedy anu direct transfer Tor
BROOKLYN travel ,,.., ,o.,o
aiiv Ar s so D. m. daily, except Monday. From WASH
ington and Ba imore 600 a. IN: 2 800, 400 1888
SrJav s.5O a m From Philadelphia. 800 $50. Z, g:iO
iG40 II: SO a. m; 2. $50, 400 $50, $50 $50 9S5 aud
1925 D. m. sunday sou O'ou = LVaO' 4lo0 a. H. o'jO
nrldll N III.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-08-20
A LII RAIL LINE

~ no THE WHITE MOUNTAINS
LAKE MEMPHREMAGOG and QUEBEC.
20 $780, the popular through rain VIA
parOr cars will leave Grand Central Depot NewfOrk N,
y N. II. H. R. r. 500 m. arriving in the mountains
by early evening Dine Springfield at White River,
C. +. HEMSTEAD @ T. A.,
and s2d-s-., y 2.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1880-08-20
FREEHOLD AND NEW-YORK RAILWAY

A. 6l5 D. M.
NEW-JERSEY SOUTHERN RAILWAY.
~ BAY ROUTE-For Highlands Belle vue. Seabrght
Monmouth Beach. Atanucve Long Branch, ocean rove
Asbury Parg, CRIT Point Pleasant Toms River Barne-
gst Vineland ATLANTIC CITY. etc - "a
Leave New York foot Libertys q. 92O lO:to m l;lo
3;t5, 3 D..
abandoned Johns will ll:3Ua for
all stations to Long Branch and - - -
DIRECT EXPHESS no THE LONG BRANCH RACES.
For Atlantic City. lil0 .. m.-thrOugh cars
sUNDAYS-g3Oa a. IN. for Long Branch