Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-11-27
ODDS AND ENDS.
What is it that casts reflections on the
hest Of mon a IroE, ,,la,a

What is it that casts reflections on the
best of men. A looking-glass.
Your bill viii be cancelled on presenta.
ton, as the fox said to the goose
What is the most elevatipg amusement !,
Sitting on powder key smoking cigars.
When may a taller be said to wear a
vegetable suit! When it is made from
| cabbage.
What woman sews that shall she also
rip, that is if 1t is worth anything for ear
pet rags.
To carpenters: When you see a man
perambulating the street at an angle of As
degrees, it is time for him to brace up.
Rubinstein has written another sym.
phony. People in this country will he
pleased to learn that Rubinstein lives in
Germany.
In Texas there is township called Gin,
and in it town called Brandy, and the
name OF the Postoifice is Rummy. No
State could ask for anything better
A very disagreeable old gentleman dies.
a nephew, charged with the duty of pre-
pairing his epitaph, suggests deeply re-
gretted by all who never knew him.
Even the wisest is sometimes fool. For
example, the philosopher who wore his
spectacles when asleep that he might re.
cognize friends ne might see in his dreams
The women in Persia are obliged TO ride
in railroad car alone and pass their fare
ont through hole in the roof. There
isn't living soul to fiirt with except the
driver.
A strolling theatrical company was at
the dinner table. A waiter approached
one of the members and said, "Soup?"
No, sir, replied the guest, +" I am one
of the musicians
Men who are trying to become famous
by initiating DIR. Tanner don't get on very
well. The only way to gain notoriety by
making fool of yourself is to invent some
new way of doing SO.
The year 1881 will be an eventful one
for the Imperial families of both Austria
and Germany, as its first three months
viii not have elapsed before the heirs to
the thrones of both empires have entered
into the bonds of nlatrimony.
"My case is just here, )" said citizen to
lawyer, the other day ''the plaintiff
will swear that l nit him. l will swear
that l did not. Now, what can you law
yers make out of that if we go to trial 2"
Five dollars apiece, was the prompt re-
ply.
The special school at Constantinople for
the advanced instruction OF girls and the
training of teachers and governesses has
for its principal the widow of Hungarian
officer who was in the Turkish service.
The public schools are free to girls as well
as boys.
"Mother, what is an angelo" can
angel? Well. an angel is being that
flies" But, mother, why does papa al
ways call my governess an angel p
"Well," exclaimed the mother, after
moments pause, "she's going to fly i'm
mediately."
1t is an amusing sight to see freshman
come mp to his desk in the drawing acad-
envy, and finding it occupied by a stern
looking sophomore, stand gazing at him
ten minutes, and then, bracing up, timidly
ask him, Are you sitting here - Acta
Columbiana.
Chicago girls are wonderfully full of re-
sources. Their new device for hurrying
up bashful suitors is to secretly procure
the marriage license themselves, and the
publication of the fact in the papers nerves
the timid youths up to the required pitch
of desperation.
As De Pasqualis was singing Rigoletto
in Rome he noticed commotion in the par
quet, and woman was carried off in a
fainting condition. He sang on, and ap-
plause encouraged him. When he reached
home he found it was his mother who had
tainted She was dead.
Miss Eva Sothern, the only daughter of
the well known actor, has been offered an
excellent theatrical engagement, but as
the young lady is a ward of the Court of
Cnancery, it will be necessary to make an
application to the Court before she will be
permitted to accept the engagement.
General Wilder, who was a Federal
corps commander during the war, is the
owner of great iron industry at Chat
tanooga. He thinks that his corps of in
fantry, armed with repeating rifles, were
equal to three times their number of as
good soldiers as themselves with Southern
arms.
An invalid insisted to his doctor that he
was certainly growing weaker every day,
and that the end was not far off Why,
DOCTOR" he said one day in querulous tones,
"a month ago l could walk round the park
yonder, and to-day l was so weak that
could only walk half way round and then
back again.