The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1880-03-26
NSBURG, PA, FRIDAY, MARCH 26. 1880

language could have expressed the intensity
of my self-scorn. Isneaked to my lodgings,
feeling that had parted with my manhood
as well as my money.
"The very next day l was surprised by
the offer of lucrative subordinate position
in a Federal office in San Francisco. This
was not the first coincidence Of this sort in
my life where an unexpected influence had
been brought to bear upon me, giving my
plans and prospects a new direction. Has
God anything to do with these things, or is it
accident? l took the place which was offer
ed me, and went to work with renewed hope
and energy. 1 made VOW against gambling,
and determined TO recover all l had thrown
away. l saved every dollar possible, pinch
ing myself in my living and supplementing
my liberal salary by literary labors. My
savings had again run up high in the thous-
ands, and my gains were steady. The Fra
ger River mining excitement broke out An
old friend of mine came to me and asked the
loan of a hundred dollars to help him off to
the new mines l told him he should have
the money, and that 1 would have it ready
for him that afternoon. After he left the
poor outfit for such an enterprise, and that
he ought to have more. Then the thought
was suggested-yes, sir, it was suggested
that might take the hundred dollars to
faro-bank and win another to place in the
hands of my friend. l was fully resolved to
risk not cent beyond this. The idea took
possession of my mind, and when he came
for the money l told him my plan and pro-
posed that he accompany me to the gambling
hell. He was a free-and-easy sort of fellow,
and readily assented. We went together,
and after alternate success and losses at the
faro bank, it ended in the usual way: l lost
the hundred dollars. l went home in fren-
zy of anger and self-reproach. The old pas
sion was aroused again. A wild determine
ton to break the faro bank took hold upon
me. 1 went night after night, betting reck
lessly until not a dollar was left. This hap
pened last week. Can you wonder that I
have concluded that there Is no hope for as
weak fool as I am %
He paused for a moment in his rapid reci-
tai, pacing the floor, with his hand on the
hammer of the pistol, which he had taken
up.
'Now, sir, candidly, don't you think that
the best thing 1 can do is to blow out my
brains? ?' said he cooking the pistol as he
spoke.
The thought occurred to me that it was no
uncommon thing for the suicidal to give way
to the homicidal mania. The man was evil
dently half mad and ready for a tragedy
The pistol seemed almost instinct with con-
scious evil intention. If a suicide or hom-
eide was to end the scene, l preferred the
former.
GLOW old are you % asked, aiming to
create a diversion.
II am 45," he answered, apparently
brought to a little more recollection of him
self by the question.
q should think continued, having ar
rested his attention, 'that whatever may be
your folies, and however dark the future
you have to face, you have too much man.
hood to sneak out of life by the backdoor of
suicide
/ The shot struck An instantaneous change
/ passed over his countenance. Suicide ap-
/ peared to him in a new light-as cowardly,
/ not d heroic act. He had been fascinated
with the notion of having the curtain fall
: upon his career amid the blaze of blue light
and the glamour of romance and the dignity
of tragedy, amid the wonder of the crowd
and the tears of the sentimental That wa:
all gone the suicide was but poor creature
weak as well as wicked. He was saved
/ He sank into a chair as he handed me the
pistol, which l was very glad indeed TO ge
into my hands.
''You should be ashamed of yourself, sir,
1 continued. "You are only forty five year
old you are in perfect health with almost
giants strength, a classical education, ex
tensive business experience, and with
knowledge of the world gained by your mis-
takes that should be a guarantee against tn
possibility of their repetition. A brave maj
should never give up the battle-the braves
never give up"
"Give me the pistol" he said quietly
''ysu need not be afraid to trust me with it
The devil has left me. / will not act IN
part of a coward. You will hear from m
again. Permit me to thank you. Goo
morning"
l did hear from him again. The dev
seemed indeed to have left him. He wen
to British Columbia, where he prospered i
business and got rich, became pillar in I'll
church of which his father was one OF til
great lights, and committed not suicide, bU
matrimony, marrying a sweet and culture
English girl, who thinks her tall Yankee hu
; band the sweetest and noblest of men.