The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-02

tne reply.
In ten minutes Jeremy was In bed
and asleep. Half an hour later lie was
awake,and bid fair to stay so. An attack
from those venomous insects vulgarly
termed bed.bugs required his wakeful
attention. They were apparently so
numerous that, unless hasty and vigilant
means were resorted to, Jeremy felt that
he must be annihilated. Thus he fought
in good earnest. All night long the
siege lasted. The slaughter was terrible.
The number of them slain amounted to
about 0,070, according to Jeremy's esti-
mate. The CORY sheets were sight to
behold.
Musing upon this conquest IN the
morning, Jeremy concluded he had well
earned his nights lodging. So he dress
himself, crept softly down the stairway,
whisked out the door, and scampered
down the street without settling his
bill.
About ten o'clock, as he was saunter-
ing up Arlington avenue, a heavy hand
grasped his shoulder, u pair handouts
were on his wrists, and a voice, loud
enough to arouse the seven sleepers,
exclaimed " You are my prisoner"
Prisoners must be scarce" replied
Jeremy, "since simple country lad like
me cannot walk the streets without be-
ing arrested"
Perhaps it is more of a ofiense than
you think to leave hotel without pay
ing your bill," the officer replied,
marching Jeremy along to the lookup.
After reaching that vile abode, which
appeared to be filled with profane,
drunken wretches, poor Jeremy began
to think his fathers potato field was
more becoming place for him. But he
was compelled to remain there until
next day, when he was taken to the
the docket, and to Jeremy's great relief
shortly disposed of. After little parley
by the lawyers, the prisoner was allow
ed to plead his own case, and the follow
ing was the sum and substance of his
speech:
Gentlemen, 1 suppose committed
great mistake by not paying my bill at
the Porter House. But when L relate
the suffering 1 endured that night, and
you realize my hair-breadth escape, you
must admit am the aggrieved party.
No soldier on The battle-fie ever fought
for his life as fought for mine between
the hours of eight in the evening and six
in the morning, utterly annihilating
between nine and ten thousand OF the
longest billed, ravenous insects, which
country people innocently call bed-bugs,
that / ever encountered. Oh, it was
hard nights work. would rather have
hoed potatoes three days Qaughter,) and
1 thought i had earned my nights
lodging, and that the proprietor of the
hotel would think L did him great
favor. So left the house as quietly as
possible, feeling had done my duty,
hoping the next weary traveller, who
occupied No. 26, would not meet with so
hearty reception as fell to me. Gentle
men, the affection those insects have
for mankind is indeed marvellous, and
find in my case that their demonstra-
tions are very exhausting TO ones vi
tality."
Every one in the courtroom was con-
vulsed with laughter as the prisoner sat
down, apparently from sheer WEAKNESS,
wiping his eyes with his coat sleeves.
he was released by paying one dollar
and costs, which took the last penny he
had.
In few hours he left the city shaking
the dust from his No. IL bovine-hide
boots, convinced that the country was
the place for him. The following night
he slept in a barn twelve miles from the
city, suffering much from the cravings
of hunger, and was hotly pursued the
next morning about daylight by the
proprietress of the place, with an uplift-
ed broom, and the fiercest imprecations.
She allowed no tramps on her premises
over night, and the next time he came
that way he had better not call Jeremy
assured her he would not.
We think he would have been quite
dishearteDed at the continuance of ILL
luck only that he was but few miles
from farmer Smythe's, paradise he
hoped to reach, even in his enfeebled
condition, at noon, and he was not dis
appointed in his calculations.
At precisely, that day, he dined
off a luscious dish of ham and eggs, with
the Smythe family. To them he related