The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1880-03-07
CURRENT HUMOR.

II CUKNENE HUMVhs
i What is kiss7
Il A touch OF the LIP.
nnion OF souls
l A time to Rkip.
| for the old man IL coming.
Il -[Steubenville Herald.
Some Of the dearest spots on earth are the
aces held In another mans hand.
A Mrs. Dam pbel!, Of Detroit, recently gave
emily arrived.-lChicago Tribune.
i Chicago makes Sic. 0OO, 900 worth OF cloth a
year, and many OF her stories are made from
the whole piece Boston Transcript.
Hotels are increasing and briQands are be.
coming scarce In Italy. They find it easier
to take all man has as payment for hotel
bill.
It is said that sight OF a Chicago bank
cashier making his way to depot with grip
sack In his hand Ia enough to start runs on q
bank.
1t was a delicate piece OF sarcasm In the
boarder who sent his landlady razor neatly
inclosed In q handsome silk lined case and
labelled "butter- knife"
school, on being told by the servant that they
had no gooseberries, exclaimed, why, what
has happened to the goose?"
The cat may look at the Queen. It Is true,
but not with an opera glass. When Victoria
opens Parliament the officials have orders
4
lorgnette.
"Why do you make promises" exclaimed
an irate creditor, III you don't expect to keep
them?" 20 cheek!'' shouted the debtor
why do you make goods wheni you don't
want to keep them 7"
There is woman In Wisconsin who has
been married ffty-eight years and who has
never missed building the kitchen fire. Her
husband ls probably the oldest fire escape on
record.-[W Waterloo Observer.
| The Detroit Free Press tells the story OF a
! Western man who had walked twenty miles
expecting to hear Queen Victoria cling In Her
him on being disappointed.
A city ordinance in Terre Haute compels
every man keeping canine to put up near
his gate sign: Beware OF the dog, " and 1t Is
lovely sight to see two-pound black-and-
tan loatlng around one OF these notices.
When the Russian Gar heard the Earring
smiled a sort OF q sickly smile, and turning
to Gen. Karottdoffski, who was by his side,
simply remarked, "The villain still pursues
Ex-Empress Carlotta, who has for so long
taken no interest In ANYTHING, has OF late
taken to insisting on wearing the very latest
style Of bonnet and will have shoes just as
small as she can get on. They think her rea-
son is returning.
An idiotic correspondent sends this In
"Notes and Queries" you answer your corre-
spondent that the moon Is a secondary
planet. Butter single question more has q
curd to me. Is the milky whey a second
dairy constellation ?"-lBoston Transcript.
We don't want to tantalize the Rev. Mr..
Cowley with suggestions OF lost opportuni-
ties; but 1t Is great pity he didn't know, as
a fact In the science OF domestic economy,
that the expansive properties Of dried apples
are away ahead Of those OF the humble bean.
Puck.
A Republican organ In waillng over "bull
doing" says: 1T Is remarkable that the men
for other crimes, should always be Republi.
cans" 1t is certainly noticeable but not at all
remarkable; Democrats don't steal cattle or
presidencies.
Chicago men want all that belongs to them.
A dentist In that city offered reward Of o
certain riddle, and the fellow who won the
prizs had his own teeth, which were perfectly
good, yanked out, so that he could have the
false teeth put In.
On Sunday the teacher of Sunday school
class In one OF the East Bridgeport churches
and when she finished inquired II any one
could tell who went into the ark with the
animals? perfect chorus OF hands flew up
IN response Turning r to little fellow the
with the animals?" up. T. Barnum," prompt
ly replied the youngster. The lesson closed.
Myrtle May"-The fact that George rung
In some musty peanuts on you the last time
you attended the theatre In his company is
not necessarily an evidence OF waning affec-
tion, as he may have purchased them I'M
knowingly, although, as you say, 1t looks
suspicious. By temporarily smothering
your chagrin and going out once or twice
with another fellow you can readily discover
whether he really loves you or Is a perjured
villain. P. Sin case he Is, don't forget to
keep the other fellow.
There Is a.venerable and benevolent Judge
In Paris who, at the moment of passing sem
tence on prisoner, consults his assessors on
each side Of him as to the penalty proper to
be inflicted: What ought we to give this
rascal, brother?" he says, bending over to the
assessor on the right. Il should say three
years" what is your opinion, brother?" to
the assessor on the left. Il should give him
about four years.. The judge, with benevo-
lence: prisoner, not desiring to give you
should have done If left to myself, I have con-
suited my learned brothers, and shall take
their advice. Seven years. New York Post.