Connecticut western news., 1880-07-21
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
 A POLE light man-The lamplighter.
 THE NOSE is the scenter of civilization.
 NEW way to "know Gall about thy self"-Get Presidential nomination. Puck.
 SOME people seem to sing through the nose just to save the mouth to grumble with.
 OF ALL the ruins in the world, the ruin of man is, most assuredly, the saddest to contemplate.
 SCHOOL term has ended. Tho indus. trious boy has stored his mind, and the idle boy has tored his trousers.
 FoUR OR five months from to-day you will be saying: Gadsnookers what cold day this is. must say that like hot weather better"
 A BOTTLE has been thrown ashore by the sea containing document which purports to have been written by Noah. It is probably hoax.
 IT IS SAID that Sarah Bernhardt has an electrifying effect on an audience. Her resemblance to telegraph wire cer- tainly warrants tho assertion.
 THERE aint but phu men who kan stick hankerchief into the brest pocket ov their overcut without letting little ov it stick out just bi aksident. -JoSh Billings.
 THE jewel of servant girl is the one who hangs all her mistress's embroi- dered underwear on that portion of the line most conspicuous to the neighbours eyes.
 AN Icthyophagous Club has been started in New York. It is calculated to ruin the reputation of any husband who goes home late at night and tries to tell where he has been.
 ORDINARILY, in cases of separation, we say the woman is wrong; but often the husband is the cause of her being wrong, and he himself is wrong in letting the public know that his wife is wrong.
 THE BUSY bee is held upas an example of industry to boys, yet what terrible example he is. If boys were like bees, you couldn't stick your nose into schoolroom without getting it thumped.
 A MAN may object to wearing button hole bouquets, but it's astonishing with what fortitude he goes through the or deal of having one pinned on, If the donor happens to be young and pretty.
 "So," said lady recently to a mer- chant, "Your pretty daughter has mar ried rich husband ?" "WeI," slowly replied the father, 1T believe she has married rich man, but I understand he is @ very poor husband.
 A GALVESTON scoolboy persisted ln throwing his hat on the floor, until H. nally the teacher chastised him severely. "Now," said the breathless teacher, edo you know where your hat ought to have been?" sYes, sir; inside my-my clothes, sir"
 AN Owego man, says the Record, after little experience truthfully and lndig- nantly asserts that no woman, however nervous, has right to wake up her hus- band from a sound sleep to tell him on maturing what's the matter, Nothing, only I wanted to know if you were awake"
 LIVES there man who is not pleased
 To see his honored name in print
 How much more is his joy increased
 When praise is given without stunt
 But there comes time of fear,
 When others will his story tell;
 His faults will then glare in brevier,
 His virtues hide in nonpareil.
 -Hdchensack Republican.
 A SHORT time since an entertainment was given to the children. For thelr amusement 4 Loan of c LoUer was per formed by company of amateurs Seven-year-old George had been with servant as escort On his return h1s mother asked him the name of the play. He could not remember, so the nurse was questioned. "I don't remember, ma'am /" said Bridget; "but l think It was The BorroaOed Beou
 WHEN the indulgent mother calleth her son she gently and in high soprano notes screameth: "Charli-e-el Char i-e-er' Bu. Charlie cometh not, nor doth he give the sound thought, but goeth about the business of his play But when his sire, enraged at the dlla- tory motions of his offspring. calletn quickly and sharply: "Charles Frede1e ick!' Charles Frederick hustleth home ward with alacrity, merely stopping py the way to insert the cover of his best spelling book where it will do the most ] good.
 THEY were very fond of each other, | and had been engaged; but they quar- reled, and were too proud to make 1t up. He called few days ago at her fathers house, to see the old gentleman on busl- 1 ness, of course. She was at the door. Said he: "Ah, Miss Blank, believe; IS { your father in?" "No, sir, she repled' "Pa is not in at present. Did you wish { to see him personality" "Yes," was the bluff response, feeling that she was yielding, con very particular business, :, and he turned proudly to go away. "l beg your pardon, she called after him, as he struck the lower step, "but who shall I say called?" He never smiled again. This was too cruel.