Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-01-16
OLYMPIA WASHINGTON TERRITORY FRIDAY JANUARY 6 1885,


Miss Scraggles thea duly har-
rangued them to reflect on the noble
ness Of cultivating the intellect; 70
consider the beauties Of literature
the pleasures they would derive in
culling the flowers Of learning as
they wandered by the cooling banks
of the stresms of Wisdom; and then
she wound up by remarking on the
necessity of electing President for
their society-observing ths. the Ia
dies should suggest one Of the mas
culines present to act in said capac-
ity.
But here new difficulty arose.
Each lady desired to appoint the
man she was in love with and then
ensued the greatest confusion. Or.
der being restored by Lavinia, she
said that the names should all be
written on slips of paper, and the
first one drawn should be President.
This was accordingly done, and the
choice fell on Mr.. Adolphus Poppin-
jay.
Adolphus, who looked as if he
was trying to solve one of the pro-
blems of Pythagoras, solemnly ac-
cepted the post assigned; and, after
arranging several preliminaries, he
gravely informed the literary circle
that they must now decide on what
books were to be read.
There was an awkward pause. In
fact every one had forgotten that
there was to be any reading at all!
They imagined that the glories OF
literature would suddenly burst
upon their minds, without their hav-
ing to trouble themselves either to
read or to study!
Adolphus further informed them
that the books selected 10 be read
aloud must be solely for their i'm
provement.
At last a red-faced young man,
with . stunning green tie, suggested
that they should read "The Rob;
be.s of Gath; or, the Bloody Muir
der of Tyburn!" But his PROPOSE
ton was received by the ladies with
decided marks of disapprobation.
Horrible!-fearful" they ex-
claimed. "We would all be afraid
to go home at night. after the read
ing of such a frightful book!"
"Suppose we read some of Dick
ems works?" suggested another;
"and then we can all enjoy hearty
taught"
Dickens, indeed!" said purse
proud young lady, whose father--a
retired drover-had made his mon.
ey by carrying on an extensive traffic
in hogs. Why, he writes about
nothing but everyday life, and such
low characters! Quite unsuited are
his works to persons of our positions
in life!'
The Literary Society gave MUIR
mur of concurrence st this last re.
mark.
Mr.. Adolphus Poppinjay, who
had once read about the ancient Gre
clan deities, thinking to display his
superior learning, observed that
they might read " Heather mythol-
ogy, and thus acquire knowledge
of Jupiter, Mars, Venus and others!'
Profound was the silence-spell-
bound the Literary Society. They
did not all understand the remarks
shat rolled so smoothly from the glib
tongue of MIR. Poppinjay.
Then one young man who had
once heard the names of the planets
thinking that Adolphus had refer
enee &c then, gave !: ss be opinion
that they had better stick to liter
stOor. and not take up with 'stroner-
my!
To which the Literary Society,
with one accord, said, A" Certainlyf
A sensible-looking maiden here
yeutured to remark that she had a
useful book, which she thought
would conduce to their improve
meu:. 1t was called The Polite
ness and Etiquette Of Life.
The Politeness and Etiquette
Of Llfer ehorused half a dozen in
dignani voices. What good woul ID
- - Il - TL.a - a II ~.