The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1880-04-24
PUNGENT PARAGRpHs.

Il N
Proposals are in order, girls. Re-
no bachelor should be without |
one.-YonEers Statesman.
When a woman cries for anything
she wants she is getting at the sighence
of the thing.-Steubenritle Herald. is
And now the starch manufacturers
have formed q ring and are going to
put up prices. They mean to stiffen
the market Philadelphia Bulletin.
What want,p said pompous
crater, aiming at his antagonist, lis
good common sense" ssExactlyr'
was the whispered reply; "that's just
what you need" w By 4lEf
The subscriber who wants to know
what is the most difficult thing to raise
on farm is informed that the farmers
son will fill the bill pretty well about s
a. Chicago Tribune. IS :
1t is probably true that the darkest
hour is Just before the dawn, and that
the biggest fool on record was the man
who got up at such an unhealthy hour
of the night to find it out.
Elderly gentleman to Freshman
ON the train: +" You don't have any
ticketP'' "No, travel on my good
looks. "Then," after looking him
over, probably you. amt goin' very
far"
\ Some men have difficulty in collect
ing their accounts. Others are unable
to collect their thoughts. In many in
stances both might as well be left out
standing. 1t costs more than they are
worth to collect them.
A robust countryman meeting a
physician ran to hide himself behind a
wall. Being asked the cause he re-
Piled: at is so long since have been
sick that am ashamed to look a physi-
clan in the face" boston Post.
-"Oh, come on, let's have some
! fun SAYS ragged urchin to little knee
breaches. Cant. Mother won't let
me-" dispose she won't. Ask your
dad" Its no use to bolt. They run
me by the unit rule, and catch the fer
rule If 1 try to vote against instruc.
TONS" raw
The German comic newspapers
have a picture of youth astride OF
horse which the father is anxious te
dispose of to q customer who stands by
and the boy, who is in ignorance OF ths
nature of the bargain, leans from thu
; saddle and whispers to his parent
s.Father, shall ride him to buy or
: sell?'' s.
A St. Louis girl recently forwarded
: the following to her young man:
! DEER wIIL-Doant KUN to see me eny NOR
! for a whial eny way. Fauther has got awfun
. | mite I'M late with double-barrelled shotgun
. | watching the backyard. He put moren
Q pound of lead into Brown 5 newfoundland COS
0 which was cummin over the lens ai'er Oon
: | last mite.
The rose is red, the violet blew,
wouldn't kuV now IL was you
There is one boy in this city, say
: the Rochester Democrat, whose bosor
Q is filed with pure and calm delight
II For some offense his father took nj
n sled away from him in the early part {
e the winter, with the promise that
a should not have it again until anotht
: season, and the boy contidentiaiiy r
II marked to friend that this war
weather was the best rig on the old ma
" he had ever heard OF. !" ha
If When man in Vermont grocer
le store was sitting upon the edge OF Il
u counter, and his feet slipped and
d raked the whole length of his back
IL the counters edge, and sat square dow
y in bushel basket of eggs which stot
is RIGHT where he couldn't miss it, u
Grocer was Mortified, and exclaime
ve SWas it an accident?" and the victi
d replied: ssBy Joye, sir, if you insinua
,e that 1 skun my back and got mys'
nv into this mess on purpose, III ia
r. your head into the remains OF tho
I'd eggsr' s'.s e
t. Astronomers say that the plan
I'd Neptune is SO far away from the ear
n that if Adam and Eve had from t
first day of their existence started
Of a railroad train and travelled steam
,er day and night. at the rate OF thu
ov miles an hour, toward Neptune, tn
adj would by this time have traversed OF
: q a little more than half the distance
m the vaporous orb. The human n
i is, therefore, to be congratulated up
Of the fact that Adam and Eve did
asst undertake any such foolish trip.-ho
Sentinel