The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-08-20
The Joke ON Hoefiich.

"
ing about the dumping Frog of Gala
veras," when the idea occurred to him
that some sort of a trick like that would
be splendid thing to ring in on Maui
rice Hoefich, the mining expert. Hoe
fitch is about the Office good deal, and
when he takes lunch with Mackay is sure
to, get into some sort of dispute and
offer to make bet. Mackay don't like
betting and frowns it down, unless he
thinks people are trying to bluff him.
At last he determined to cure Hoefich of
his habit and began to watch him good
deal to determine where the weak spot
in his armor lay.
One day he saw Hoefich on the stoop
playing with an enormous grasshopper
which he was learning to jump. Hoe
fich's grasshopper could jump twenty
three feet, and it wasn't long before he
remarked to Mackay:
"Iu bed two dollar dot you cand find
hinsect to peet him."
Mackay bet ten dollars that he could
beat it, and Hoehich raised him twenty
dollars at once. The bet was closed at
these figures, and Mackay said he would
have the hopper there in day or SO.
He then sent trusted emissary down to
Carson Valley to secure contestant for
the winged steed of Hoefich.
The man spent nearly week rowing
around Carson valley catching hoppers.
He finally sent an official report to Mackay
stating that he had caught over three
thousand grasshoppers and put them
through their PAGES. The best gait any
one Of them had was seventeen and
three quarter feet. He doubted if a
bigger Jump could be secured. On re-
ceipt of the letter the Bonanza Prince
telegraphed to the man to bring him up
anyway The next day he arrived with
about dozen hoppers from Farmer
Treadway's, and Mr.. Mackay gave them
quarters in his room as Vanderbilt
would stable his stud. Each hopper oc-
cupied cigar box, and every morning
they were taken out and put through
their PAGES. It was impossible, how
ever, to get one to jump over eighteen
feet, although all sorts of invigorating
diet was given them.
Mr.. Mackay was in despair; but one
morning hopper shifted at bottle of
ammonia on the table and Immediately
skipped thirty feet. After making few
experiments it was found that one sniff
of ammonia so enlivened the hoppers
that they made jumps that were almost
incredible. Next day Mackay announced
match.
The expert was on hand at the Gould
& Curry Office at o'clock, an hour be-
fore the time, with his pet hopper. Not
finding Mr.. Mackay in, he sat down in
his study, and there noticed the bottle
of ammonia, While he was examining
it, Bridget, the old faithful domestic of
the Gould & Curry house, came in with:
3fDon't be techin' that numonia, Mr..
Hofiick; it's to make Mr.. Mackey's hop
pers sprightly. Bedad, behave he's out
O. his sinces since the pump broke at the
north ind"
Hoefich pumped the domestic and
soon knew all about Mackay's game.
A light broke on Hoeaich, and, grab
bing the bottle, he rushed up town to
Perkins drug store, threw away the am
monia and ordered it filed with ch1oro-
form. In ten minutes he was out, and,
leaving the bottle where he found it, got
out of the place as fast as he could.
Mackay soon arrived with half dozen
mining superintendent he had invited
up to see him have some fun with Hoe
Aich
They were hardly rested before Hoe
fitch came in with the hopper in cigar
box under his arm.
ST wash leetle late, Mr.. Mackay, but
I'm here NIT de hobber and de coin.'
He laid down his meney, which was
promptly covered.
anybody else want to pet?"
Joe Stewart laid down 800.
John Kelly put up $50.
Warren Sheridan stepped in for $500.
Hank Smith wanted like amount.
Sam Jones only had $50, but he put it
up.
Then few got into the corner of the
room and concluded it was shame to
rope Hoefich in that way, and finally
agreed to give the money back after they
won it. Mackay then bantered Hoeflich
to raise the pot 100 shares in Union coin.
Hoefich wrote an order on his broker
and remarked:
ssDare's no limits to de bets, shentle-
men; de coin sbeaks."
Nearly every man doubled his bet, and
then Mackay got behind Sam Jones and
let his hopper sniff of the ammonia bot
tie which held Hoefich's chloroform.
Time being called, the hoppers were
placed side by side on the piazza, and at
the word "Go," each insect was touched
on the back with straw. Hoefich's
hopper described simicircle in the air
and scored twenty-four feet. Mackay's
gave lazy lurch of four inches, and,
turning over on it's back, folded its legs
across its stomach and fell fast asleep.
Jones swore that you could hear it
snore. Hoefich walked back into the
room, swept the coin into q canvas sack,
and Mackay wrote out an order for the
stock. Hoefich went up town with his
hopper under his arm, leaving the 9TH
ers too astonished to speak. Presently
Sheridan put up the ammonia bottle to
his nose and called Mackay's attention to
the smell.
ssChloroform, by
Then the Milesian woman who was the
author of all the mischief appeared with
a broom and announced that it was
'sswapin' time, at which the crowd dis
persed, each going in different di-
rection. AS Mackay started for the
Union shaft he remarked:
'sThat feller Hoefich plays in d-d
queer luck"
And to this all hands inwardly agreed.
ADVERTISING HIS MUrToN. = AT the
church of Great Salkeld, in Cumberland,
this custom prevailed thirty or forty
years ago. I fancy that it has now fallen
After the banns were publish
ed for the third time the parish clerk ex-
6(rod anaod them wael ~ Nor