Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-06-27

hears the caws and goes forth with his gun,
the crows are likely to see the effect.
A starved tramp said he was so thin Chat
when he had pain ne couldn't tell whether
it was stomach-ache or back-ache.
Never look gift pencil in the lead, or
gift meerschaum in the color, nor a gift
pie in the crust, nor gift mule in the right
hind foot.
to college. You cannot make palace out
OF shanty by putting French roof on it.
Whitehall Times.
The boy who hasn't gone through both
heads of his Christmas drum by this time
has at least set his old grandmother crazy
and driven away the cook.
The men of to-day are too high strung"
says Chicago paper. But the NoaTistoaon
Herald says ''Some of them are not strung
high enough."-OI CITY Derrick.
Pressed ferns make very nice table
ornament, but they won't save a single
ounce of butter with the children. A small
picture book at each plate will answer the
purpose much better.
The cook who undertakes to pluck tur-
key must make clean breast of it.-N. o.
Picayune. And the cook who undertakes
to remove the skeleton must make no bones
of it.-BostOm Journal Of Commerce.
"John, we won't have potatoes enough
for dinner, with SO much company; what
shall we do ?" "Tell them we've lost our
potato masher, and the girl had to jump on
them. They won't ask for any," said John.
A goat browsing on a greensward ap-
preached a pig pen and said to its occupant,
"Why do you stay in that horrid naace.
when there's such lovely spot as this
handy ?" "The pen is mightier than the
sward, " grunted the pig.
Heavens gates are not SO highly arched
as princes palaces; they that enter there
must go upon their knees.
At Burton-on-T Trent lately, woman got
nd of a baby by drugging it, doing it up in
parcel and sending it by cabman to GER
tain address, while she took railway train
and "lit out"
A Nevada man heard that minister was
about to settle in his town, and he imme-
diately, through the local. paper, called
upon all married men to protest against the
newcomer.
Glove laughs at locksmiths," and vet
there isn't anything funny about locksnnith.
-Erchange. And there isn't anything funny
about love, either. At least Smythekins says
SO, and he has been there number of times.
-Neao York MAIL
Strange things happen in Southern Colo
RADIO. A tourist, by simply throwing one
stone down the mountain-side, made snow
slide slide, cowslip slip and butterfly fly.
All of which SO amazed him, that he started
off on a run, making his coat-fap flap.
| A young mother in Cincinnati was giving
to her son, aged five years, touching de-
scription of the misery into which the prodi-
gal son had fallen. Far away from home
and his kind father, obliged to take care of
swine, with nothing to eat but the husks or
corn left by them" "Then why didn't he
eat the pig 2" was the practical reply of the
| young metropolitan.
They are having warm time just now in
Kansas Sunday schools, and the question
| under discussion is, whether the boy who
has fairly won the prize Bible by learning
three thousand eight hundred and sixty
seven verses In three months, can be ruled
off the track for putting furniture tacks and
| a wad of shoemaker's wax in the superin-
tendents chair.
! An Oil City Irishman, having signed the
| pledge, was charged soon afterward with
having drank '''Twas me absent-minded
| ness" said Pat, land habit l have of
talkin' to mesef. I sed to meself, SEE I,
Pat, COON in an have drink mo, SER
SEE l, I've sworn off, Thin I'll drink
alone, seq to mesef An Pn wait for We
outside, sez I. An whin mesef cum out,
faith an he was drunk"
COW; COW becomes restless upsets milk
maid, stool and ALL Miss Hardhit and Cap
| tain Lotus, who are taking a walk in the
country, come suddenly upon the scene.
Miss FL. to Captain L.: Captain, where
is your gallanty? Why don't you fly to
that young lady's rescued" Captain T.. !:
| AW, you soo tne COW IulSuI KICK me, you
know" Miss Fl. (demurely): "You need
have no fears on that head, captain-a COW
never kicks calf"
Woodworker," an Indian chief, says he
has never seen gray-haired Indian in his
| life, and he had seen some over ninety
years old 1t is because the Indian has no
trouble, no worriment oranything that way.
His wife chops all the wood, builds the
fires, goes to the market at daylight, stone
tramps out of the front yard and blacks his
boots. And he is not tormented by tax
collectors, gas bills and Lightning rod ped
lers. Let an Indian start twenty -four
column daily paper in si1-column town to
fill long felt want and his hair would turn
| gray in one night.