The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-02-19
BRfC'-.l-HR.f

BRIC-.I- -BR.1C. ,n
~ never saw the hOrrid old
thing!'-Aliss Raultc. 81 never heard
OF the young pcrson."-S. j. ridden.
When you sec young married
man with spots OF buckwhcat batter
on his coat sleeve, it's easy to tell who
wears the brcechcs in that athousc.
Professor Proctor declares that
the earth is still in its youth. Now
we know why the @iddy thing runs
around SO much o nights.
No woman has ever vet been
known to kindlc.a fire with fashion
magazine or II paper containing the
trial Of II clergyman.
This being leap year, any wife is
privileged TO go down town after 10
o'clock and hunt up her husband and
read linn Il lecture on larks and other
birds.
Gen. Chamberlain was either short
sighted or color-blind in the matter of
two alleged Maiuc Governors, but he
had no difficulty in recognizing Davis.
The telephone is only about two
years old, but some of tho Jokes about
it sound rs though they were ragged
when the pyramids were young.
1t is a mean woman who will paste
a last years plate Of fashions for bon
nets into this years fashion book and
lend it to her female friends Just before
Easter Sunday.
- How do you like my boots, lovc?''
cNclaiMrd Il youthful bride. ooh
they're immcnsc.' replied the partner
Of her JOY; and she had the first matri-
monial tainting away as the result.
when Bret IIartc says to his best
girl "Adicu?' she ycllS back ut him
"C;oou-byc-Swcct lIartc, 9ood-bvc.'
And when she gets mad she says, ''I'll
knock the Bret out OF you.'
The times are so hard in Berlin
that the people arc forced to eat dog.
meat. The dispatch don't say whether
the caninrS arc served up as prime DO.
loInt. or in some other way.
Prof. Proctor says the earth is 3S7
times farther from the sun, tl,an tic SUI
IS irnm ;hc earth. We don't see how
this can be unless we have miSrcprc
Scnteu the professor.
The Detroit Free Press saws on,
handsome girls in the country will
draw men from "circlc ten miles
square, Our esteemed contcmpura
ry appears to have succeeded il
"SquarinMn circlc.'
"A washcrw oman being such rcm
ular and attentive listener at church
was commended by her pastor. "Ics,
said She, latter my hard weeks work
is done, git SO rested to come tt
church, and set and think about moth
in" 49,
"A bicycle rider was thrown from
his fiery, untalne,t stecd and fatally in
!"rS" n En9aBS; y a4d A the sc eitizen: .Snt
things hrc coming in heap this Year
One Philadelphia Dutcl,man t,
another: 81 dclls yer, Heinrich, di:
guntry isn't zcctional; das mort ant
, das Sout poth wants reconciliation unt
vcrgitipg.
Things that the most people woul6
like to see: Our society Girls beforf
breakfast, Il church choir that neycl
qinrrclcd, a church out Of debt and
with money to lend, an editor who en-,
please everybody, and a high-schoo]
w
Mime. Adclina Patti has met with
iiattcring reception in Berlin. The
Emperor and Prince Charles called
upon her recently in the green room.
and spoke to her in such high terms
that tears arc said to have appeared in
her eyes.
Little Charley had his hair "bob-
Dcd| the other daY, but didn't like thc
operation fbruShing. "Ma, that bar
hers brush made me squawk". Moth
cr: ~ did hot hear any noise" Char
ley: "But | squawkcd in my thinks"
-"Alcn often jump at conclusions, :"
says the proverb. So do dogs. We
saw a dog at the conclusion ofa cot.
which was sticking through the oDcn--
ing ola partly closed door, and it crca-
ted more disturbance than church
scandal.
Stuart Robson unhcsitatinelv de-
clare: with his unasSunling and charac-
tcristic modcsty, "Mr. Crane and nv
sell are the two best living actors, aid
as far rs have heard from, only two
actors, Count Joanncs and JOHN B.
Cough, dissent from this view"
--"ls not large head" .Alonzo
writes, ''an evidence Of large brains?''
."Mcil, yes, Alonzo, tits, il is; kind
OF; III degree; oh, yes; we rather
guess you arc correct it is-only, Alou-
10, it depends a little, YOU know,
whether the head is on tho shoulders
OF man or Oh an ass.
Let's chip in for new hat for any
Governor who has mind enough of his
own to appoint some other day than
FRIDAY tor lianGing.-F'ree Press. AS
soon as the hat is bought, send II toex
Govcrnor llartrantt, Philadelphia. lie
is the man that broke up the stupid
superstition.
The following message, intended
to break bad news gently, was sent to
the widow of a man who had just been
Killed bya railroad accident: Dear
Madam-Your husband is unayoida-
bly, detained for the present. To-mor-
row an undertaken will call upon Won
with the full particulars.