davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
JOSH BILLINGS PHILOSOPHY.

Cunning IL a very cheap edishun oy
wisdum it develops among the animals,
and hav even seen idiots who had it.
A yung sloven ends bi being filthy
old man.
However mizerly woman may be
she seldum shows it in her bennett.
Itallwuss bothers the devil to kno on
whitoh side to attak a bizzy man.
We see in others the virtues and vices
we have got ourselfs, but we see the
vices the plainest.
There are but few things judged by
their merits, but rather by the way they
affect our opinions or interests.
The men who have the strongest In
telects have the weakest memorys, they
trust more to invention than memory.
Where thare is one man who knows
how to do thing, and does it, thare are
three who are satisfied by telling how
it ought to be done.
The top ov the ladder IL a hcklish
spot, yer are liable to fall emmy time
and kant pix out the spot yer are go
ing to strike.
Menny q man who haz made fust-
rate konstable haz split hiz milk hi be.
ing made Deputy Sheriff.
The man who haz no luv Of Applause
IL either an angel or an idiot, probably
the latter.
The CRATE ov mankind iv just az the
birds do, from hand to mouth.
A man better have no creed at al
than to have one he is always anxious tx
fight for.
Jealousy sleeps with one eye open and
the other ajar.
Hope IL the halfway house between
fear and fruition.
It IL difficult to define our happiness
without making it look suspicious.
The man who IL original in manner
IL generally more OF less SO in thought
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
PAYING IN KISSES.

Mr.. Eddy gave Miss Hintzleman fine
lot of jewelry, at New Berne, N. G., and
she wore it for several weeks. Then he
brought a suit to recover it, on the
ground that he had simply lent it to her.
She testified that, by the terms Of
mutual agreement, she was to pay for
the jewelry by kissing Mr.. Eddy every
morning for 100 days. He called and
got his kisses, on his way to work, every
day for about a month. Then he grew
bold and wanted to take hug as well as
kiss. There was no provision In the
bargain for hugging, and she repulsed
him, even restricting his kisses to mere
touch Of his lips to her cheek. He
thought he was being cheated, and
hence his effort to recover.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
FOOD ron REFLECTION.

If man has love in his heart he
may talk in broken language, but it will
be eloquenee to those who listen.
LIKE many other virtues, hospitality
is practiced in its perfection by the poor.
IF the rich did their share how would
the woes Of this world be ightened.
So QUICKLY sometimes has the wheel
of fortune turned round that many a
man has lived to enjoy the benefit Of
that charity which bis own piety pro-
jected.
AT 30 we are all trying to carve our
names in big letters upon the walls of
this tenement of life; twenty years later
we have carved it, or shut up our jack
knife.
OVER the triple doorways of an
italian cathedral there are three In
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
ABOUT NAMES,

A new book Of etiquette in London
gives the following as the fashionable
pronunciation of certain names with de-
ceptiye spellings Majoribanks is pro-
nounced Marshbanks Mainwaring,
Mannering st. John, Siniin; Cock
burn, Coburn; Cholmondeley, Chum-
ley; Berkeley, Barley; Brounham,
Baroun; Montgomery, Mungumery /;
Abergavenny, Aborgenny; Beauchamp,
Beacham; Colquhoun, Cohoon; Du-
chenes, Dukarn; Beaconsfeld, Beck
onsfeld; Bethune, Beeton; Mines,
Miles; RuthYen, Riven; ST. Maur,
Seymour.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
JAPANESE FIRE DEPARTMENTS.


It seems that in the midstof general
confagration a Japanese householder
can only insure immunity for his prop
erty by promptly offering sufficient
bribe to the firemen. When this is done,
the latter are perfectly reckless as to the
destruction of other property in carry
ing out their contract. "Here is vast
city," says the Toxic Times, contain
ing million of inhabitants, all pecul-
iarly exposed to the EXTREMIST hazards
of fire, and without a solitary steam
machine in use or existence with hardly
an efficient hand-engine at command.
It Is an historical fact that during a
recent confagration in 1873 steam
engine, brought oJapan on speculation,
was put in operation with q success that
showed how easily dozen such could
keep the city permanently free from
peril. In less than a week after the
triumph upon which he had been vainly
congratulating himself, the exhibitor
found it desirable to leave the capital
with his machine, which was straightway
reshipped to America. The experiment.
has never been repeated, because the
firemen will not allow it.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
CIRCUMsEANTLAL EVIDENCE.

One of the most remarkable legal
records Of cases of circumstantial eVi-
dence is that of Soren Qvest, Danish
pastor. No mans life ever showed more
dramatically the effects Of ungoverned
temper and the justice Of Gods deal
ings. The story is almost unknown, we
believe, to American readers.
Soren from his birth was victim to
a fiery temper. When but a child he
killed dog which provoked him.
When at college he killed comrade IN
burst of passion.
He became clergyman, and was
devout, estimable man, but for this one
uncomfortable fault. A man named
Morten Burns, whom Soren rejected as
a sutton for his daughter, vowed to be
revenged on the old man.
He sent his brother, Niels Burns, to
work as servant on the pastors farm.
Niels was stupid, and very soon Soren
and he quarreled, the clergyman as
usual indulging in abuse, threats, and
even blows.
At last Niels disappeared, and Morten
his brother, accused Soren Of the MUIR
der. A neighbor testified that she had
heard the pastor abusing Niels in a
frantic rage; that he cried out, 81 will
beat thee dead, dog!" and struck him
with spade twice, and that Niels fell
dead as she supposed.
Another man deposed that on the same
evening he saw man carrying heavy
sack to another part of the pastors
grounds, and Soren's own servants testl-
fed that they saw him by moonlight IN
his green dressing-gown and white cap
digging hole in cabbage bed.
The hole was opened, and Niels' body
was found there. Soren was tried, and
sentenced to death. Before his execu-
ton he confessed that his rage was 30
great that he had struck Niels, fully in
tending to kill him, but that the man,
frightfully wounded, had run away.
eff" said Soren, ~ found his dead
body and buried it, it was in my sleep.
God has brought me to this punishment.
Murder was in my heart. he is just. :"
Twenty-one years after Soren was e1-
ecuted, Niels Burns returned. He tes-
titled that he had gone, when wounded,
to his brother, who dug up body bur-
led recently, dressed it in Niels' clothes,
and buried it himself IN the garden,
wearing the pastors dressing-gown and
cap. The chain Of evidence was thus
complete against Soren. and he was pun
ished, illegally, yet Justly, for the muir
der he had purposed to do.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
THE PIN MACHINE.

There are few pieces of machinery
more wonderful or human in their oper-
atoms than the machine that makes the
pins. A coil Of wire is put in at one
end, and come out at the other a paper
of polished pins. The operation is thus
described:
A small machine, about the size and
height of lady's sewing-machine, only
stronger, stands before you. On the
back side Light belt descends from the
long shaft at the ceiling, that drives all
the machines ranged in rows on the
floor. On the left side of our machine
hangs on peg small reel Of wire that
has been Strengthened by running
through compound system of small
rollers. This wire descends, and the end
enters the machine 1t pulls it in and
bites off by inches, necessarily, 140
times to a minute. just as it seizes
each bite, a. little hammer with con-
cave face hits the end of the wire three
taps, and "upsets" it to head while it
gripes it in counter-sunk hole between
its teeth. With an outward thrust of its
tongue it then lays the pin sideways in
q little groove across the rim of small
wheel that slowly revolves just under its
nose. By the external pressure Of a sta
tionary hoop these pins roll in their
places as they are carried under two
series of small files, three in each.
These files grow finer toward the end Of
the series. They lie at slight inclination
on the points of the pin, and, by series
of cams, levers and springs, are made
to play like lightning. Thus the pins
are pointed and dropped in a little
shower into box.
Twenty pounds Of pins is days
work foroneof these jerking little autom-
atoms. These are then polished. Two
very intelligent machines reject every
crooked pin, even the slightest irregu-
larlty OF form beng detected. Another
automaton asserts half dozen lengths
In as many different boxes, at once and
unerringly, when careless operator has
mixed the contents of boxes from vari-
GUS machines. Lastly, perfect genius
of machine hangs the pins blythe head,
in an inclined platform, through as many
"slots" as there are pins in a row on
the papers. These slots converge into
the exact space, spanning the length of
row. Under them runs the strip of
pin paper. A hand-ike part of the ma
chine catches one pin from each Of the
slots as it falls, and by one movement
sticks them all through two corrogated
ridges in the paper, from which they are
to be picked by taper fingers in boudoirs
and all sorts Of human fingers in all sorts
of human circumstances.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22

scriptions spanning the splendid arches.
Over one is carved a beautiful wreath Of
roses, and underneath the legend: Cali
that pleases is but for moment" Over
the other is sculptr,red a cross, and
there are the words F." All that troubles
is but for moment" But underneath
the main aisle is the inscription That
only is important which is eternal"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22

The imports of silk manufactures
during the past year exceeded those of
the previous year by nearly 80 per cent,
their total value amounting to nearly
$26, 900, 900, paying a revenue to the
United States Of $15,OOO,0OO. The
American mills are kept actively at work,
and their business is fourishing.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
BORROWED LIGHT.
BY ROBERT p. porY.

He who seeks to rise higher should
never attempt to gain the eminence by
borrowing other peoples light. If we
were to adopt the method of taking from
others that which has given them name
and fame we will soon be classed with
those who have long since resigned to
the sneers Of % knowing public. Origi-
nality and reason have done more than
all other things combined in regard to
the progress and elevation Of mankind.
If it had not been for franklin
originality and foresight it is quite
probable that electricity would not have
been known for great while after its
actual discovery. After Franklin's In
genuity was a thing to be undisputed a
great light broke out, from the simple
act of the old philosophers light being
given to the world in the shape of hard
study and perseverance. It has been
said that
FRANKLIN caught the giant morse;
Twas harnessed by Professor Morse;
and from this one thing have wonders
been done.
Sir John Mandeville's originality
brought forth the idea that the world
was sphere and revolved around its
axis. Suppose we knew nothing about
this to-day, what would we know con-
corning the relative positions of coun-
tries? If it had not been for the on
ward march of civilization, and grad
ual withdrawal from old ideas, we would
still be as illiterate as our South Sea
islanders. Thus we see the baneful eff
fects Of depending on other people for
borrowed light. TITS nice to adopt a
weL-established idea, but when adopt
ing we should have enough reason about
us to question it's reliability. Sound it
to the depth, and then, if nothing is
found which condemns it, accept and
treasure it. But, on the other hand, do
Hothug every idea that is set forth. Even
a principle in arithmetic should not es-
cape complete dissection.
Do not accept every theologian's
views. Nay, do not accept even tenth,
for theologian is as liable to err as
any-for it is human to err.
To be original consists in being
thoughtful, deliberate and exact, as
well as logical. You may think
you are better logician than any one
else, but do not think this, I pray you
Too many become bigoted by such a
course. The common acceptation is to
be reasonable with view of advance
ment, not just to set forth some new
idea that will bear no scrutiny, but brave
deductions and something that is thor
ough and proof-positive against all fools
logic. 1t won't do to insist on specu-
lative ideas for the sake Of argument, or
being new, for many times new thing
proves worthless, and does not pay for
the time and trouble spent But this is
what I wish to impress upon the mind !;
Nurture your brain, and let not others
solve all your problems. Depend on
your own light. If you have the facul-
ties of common-sensed person you can
make nothing by borrowing from your
neighbor that which you have. Never
borrow that which you are in possession
of, for anything lying idle is much more
apt to become rusted than that which is
in actual use.
BENTON I'll.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
DEATH TO WHALEs.

The San Francisco Chronicle has tho
following description of new whaling
steamer, which is intended for whaling
operations along the coast: Capt ThoS.
Whitelaw is now constructing little
screw steamer, sixty-ive feet long, six
teen wide and nine deep, with which he
intends to inaugurate the business Of
whaling outside the Heads. She will be
completely decked over, SO that sea
can go completely over her without
causing damage. She is built very
strongly, and is deeper than ordinary,
so that she can be drawn some distance
into the water by whale, to which she
may be made fast without danger. She
will be fitted with two compound engines
four cylinders. She can carry coal
enough for run of thirty days, which
will be stored in the latter part, and
with the weight Of her machinery is ex-
pected to keep her propeller submerged
to avoid the cheating" caused by the
blades when the vessel pitches, which
can be heard by whale considerable
distance, and frightens him of. The
cabin will be in the forward part, and
will be occupied by the crew of five
men. The vessel will be launched In
about two weeks, and is expected to
have speed of nine knots an hour.
Her large coal capacity is to enable her
to take an Arctic trip, if required. The
mode Of killing whales adopted by this
vessel is by the whaling rocket, or
bomb-lance, which can be discharged
from the vessel, which method possesses
considerable advantages over the old style
of hunting whales In boat and with
The hand-lance. The expectations are
that an average of ten fish will be
caught each month. When whale is
dispatched the steamer Will tow him
into port and land him at the reduction
works, where the carcass will be treated
to an improved process by which every
portion viii be utilized. When whale
is caught at sea the blubber is stripped
off and the bone removed. After which
the carcass is set adrift and floats around
until completely devoured by sharks and
birds. Under the process to be tried by
Capt. Whitelaw the fish will be cut into
sections, and, without discriminating be-
tween blubber, flesh or bones, will be
placed in large steam-tight tanks made
of boiler plates, into which steam at a
high pressure and temperature will be
introduced, which will have the effect Of
completely digesting the mass and sepa-
rating the oil, which will be then drawn
off. The process will be completed IN
about eight hours, when the residue of
flesh and bones Will be taken out, dried,
and afterward ground together to pro-
duce fertilizer. The bones are valu-
able for this purpose on account of the
phosphate Of lime which they will yield.
Three "frys" can be made in day,
and as three digesters have been con-
structed-each capable Of containing a
ten-foot section of whale-a large fish
can be reduced in about two days.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
APHORISMS.

To LIVE long it is necessary to Live
slowly.
GIVE neither counsel nor salt until
asked for it.
THERE are calumnies against which
even innocence loses courage.
He who commits injustice is ever made
more wretched than he who suffers it.
A MAN should make it a part of his re-
igion to see that his country is well gov
erned.
THOSE who give not till they die, show
that they would not then if they could
keep it longer.
He who is false to the present duty
breaks thread in the loom, and will
see the effect when the weaving Of a life
time is unraveled.
BE then like the bird perched upon
some frail thing, who, although he feels
the branch bending beneath him, shows
tnaG ne mas wings.
A FRErFu1 disposition takes the fra
GRANGE out Of ones Life and leaves only
weeds, where a cheerful disposition
would cause flowers to bloom.
THE Office of religion is, not to drive
us back upon ourselves in anxious self
criticism, but to take us out of ourselves
and unite us to the whole, in loving self
abandonment.
THREE-FoURTHs of all the Baptist
churches in the country are in the
South. The membership Of this demon
ination in the Southern States is 1900,
900.
INHERITED TENDENCIES 10 DIS
EASE.
Seventy thousand persons in America
yearly die Of consumption, mostof whom
have inherited the disease. Vast num-
bers inherit a tendency to rheumatism,
epilepsy, insanity, cancer, indigestion,
migraine, neuralgia, asthma, and to
early loss of sight and hearing.
No other cause Of grief and suffering
compares with that due to organic de-
fects handed down from parent to child.
Of our 100000 Of people probably
100000 inherit some constitutional
defect.
But hitherto little has been done to
arrest these tendencies. Physicians are
called only to the sick. On the con-
trary, those who have inherited ten
denotes to disease are generally as care
less Of their health as others; while, in
case Of those who already show the ten
dency, their friends are apt to pursue
just the course most likely to strengthen
it.
For instance, a consumptive is shut
up from the outdoor air and gentle ex-
ercise, though these are his only hope.
Moreover, the whole influence Of our
social life and practices encourages the
thoughtless squandering Of vital reserve.
AS consequence, we are degenerating
as a people. The death-rate and birth
rate are steadily approximating. The diff
ference is already less in New England
than in any country Of Europe, France
alone excepted.
Yet there is no inherent difficulty in
the way Of extirpating hereditary dis
eases. HYGIENE care would accomplish.
it-such care as could only come from q
medical expert, and such as we are all
ready to resort to in acute disease. Able
physicians have thus been able to ex-
tirpate tubercular consumption from
themselves, their families, and descend
Youths Companion.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22

ONE of those characteristic Nevada
stories is thus briefly told by the Viz
ginia Enterprise Yesterday, during
the gale, while powders as big as pump
kins were flying through the air and
water pipes were being ripped out of the
ground, an old Chinaman, with specta-
cles on his nose, was observed in the
eastern part of town, seated on knoll,
calmly flying his kite-an iron shutter,
with O log-chain for tail"
REAL merit of any kind cannot long
be concealed it will be discovered, and
nothing can depreciate it but mans en-.
hibiting ii himself
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22
THE LLMEKILN CLUB INITIATES
CONGRESS-.


The Committee on Judiciary, to whom
was referred the query: "Where shall
we go this summer" reported: "Dis
committee didn't hesitate to tackle de
subject face to face. We didn't sot
aroun' de co'ner groceries nor hold our
meetin's in free-lunch saloons, but we
got togeder at our own houses an we
roasted an baked de query down fine.
De conclushun arroyed OF am dat some
Of us will go to jail, some to Mackinaw,
some to de grave, some to de seashor'.
some to Canady, some to Toledo, an
some to de kentry to git our liver regu-
lated. We shan't all go to no one place,
kase de kivered kyars an de hotels
couldn't hold us.
The report was no sooner finished
than Troubadour Smith, Chairman OF
the Committee on Banks and Banking,
arose and said: sMisser President,
what means dat reference to co'ner gro
ceries an free-lunch saloons? If any
body means to hit anybody, why doan'
dey speak right out?"
Burdock Jones, through whom the
report had been made, drew himself up,
stretched out his arm, and slowly re-
piled: "Let de jaded gall vince"
"Orderl order !" called several
voices.
"Misser Jones, my second will wait
on you r. shouted Smith.
"Let him come, sah-de sooner de
betterr'
Half the members were on their feet
when the gavel came down hard, and the
President said: "Brudders Smith and
Jones am fined $40 each, an de mex
man who takes de flo widout bein' rec
ognized by the char will feel somethin'
drap on his head! SIGH purceedin's AZ
we have had heah war, nebber seen be-
fo' outside of Congress I"
During the silence that followed
Samuel Shin made an effort to cross his
legs, and knocked the WATERFALL bot
tom side up, filing the brogans Of Give
adam Jones and Whitelaw Skinner full
ofice-cold liquid. Then the Glee Club
sang:
Let dogs delight to bark an fight,
An let de hornet sting;
Tat caha On clavjn, roun, at nloht
In summer, fall an spring.
Let tigers suarl an Hons roar.
An let de serpont hiss;
But let de brudders Of dis club
Togeder dwell in bliss.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-08-22

Dered over 2OO men, who, by majority
vote, had to ratify or annul the sentence
Of the Executive Committee. Prisoners
were allowed counsel, and all witnesses
whom they desired were summoned. It
was not lynch law. A man had fairer
show for his life than before an average
jury Of twelve men, but there was no
appeal. Casey and Cora were hanged.
Chilly Muligan," "Dutch Charley"
and many others (the names of some of
whom it would astound many readers to
hearl, were shipped out Of the country.
Brace and Hetherington were also
hanged. In about four months, after
the atmosphere had been cleared, the
committee made grand parade, stacked
their muskets, and turned the govern
ment over to the civil authorities. At
the next election the peoples candidates
were elected. The first year the taxes
were reduced to 1925 on 300, 95 cents
Of which went for the support of the
public schools, leaving 81. 80, which paid
all current expenses Of the government,
and provided a sinking fund for the
gradual liquidation Of the enormous IN
debtedness already accumulated. For
ten years after that San Francisco was
the best and most economically governed
city in the country. Perhaps this bit of
history may be a warning to Commun-
lists, wherever they are to be found.
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1880-07-13
Metafteur: Nt9oEas Gsmasr.
Summer 1853.

swii9en England unb 5rantrei&, bic bsibe
mad gspptens gefs Iaitern finb, unb ans
bsrerieits auf bic Differen3 swii6en StaIieu
unb Seferrei9, uon benen bas sriiere bsim
anbIid Der 0ifrsi@ii@en geute gosnisn u.
5ersssowina iein @sIiit mad stnsm fetteu
Stad aIbanien ni@t usrbsrsen Tam. DaB
IS su siusm &fs swii9en bieien 70 wis
beritrebenben gIsmentsu fommsn wirb, bas
III mad alien Depefden eine ausssmadte
Sa@e. Das Bis@en aIbanien mag wobI
Der Seuerbranb gu sinsm ususn suropdis
l1en g6Itertriese werbsn.