West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1880-11-06

Tho village Hotel Veranda.

@AN v CFunuu.
After supper we march into t., Office
IN Indian file, agu ourselves with poplar
toothplcks, and then All march out and
take seats on the hotel veranda and hold
a convention. II you havo never tax en-
part i'm one OF these gatherings on the
veranda ola village hotol you have missed
good thing. Tho audience includes
every phase of human nature.
The disscusSion usually opens between
the village blacksmith and r,rmer. and
IL starts on the weather.
The blacksmith asserts that we hayo
had too much rain. The farmer can't
agree. The undertaken, who used TO
iarm 1t, then joins in with tho remark
that he has seen seasons wi, en we bad
more rain, and seasons when we diJu'
have as much. This calls out the shoe
maker, who can rememper one wear
when it didu't rain from the 10th of March
to the LIST @! October While lac is trying
TO remember what ye ,r It was, tho cooper
uits back his chair and asserts thlt he
can distinctly recall a year i'm which It
rainec evcry day from tho lst of Nav To
the middle Of November. lie can res
member itall the more distinctly because
his father believed that second delupe
was coming, and spent two months try
ing TO make watertight Noah's ark of
the horse barn. lie can't tell the exact
year without footing It a distance of six
miles to examine somo Eld documents,
but rather than have his word disputed
he would willingly 20 TO that trouble.
No one doubt him, however, aud he sits
down TO give room TO the man whose
tIree>y year-old colt has been impaled on
a fence stake, and who wants cure for
the wound. He follows discussion ON
horses, lasting fifteen minutes. and it is
about To cross the l.ne and talk" up mules
when an old man spits over the heads of
three boys in line aud says:
81 don't know much about hosses. bu,
If had one, and he should drive "A fence
stake clear through him, l believe
X ould grease tho stake and pick Off the
slivers before pulled it out! tell yo,
horses can't stand everything, no more'n
IA man can"
Whatever new discussion might bo
created by this bold assertion il barred
10y the app sarSnce ola villager who made
the trip To California in overland davs.
No one knows just how much money he
brought back. The estimate runs all the
way from two shillings to $4,000, but
he is d'Soroetly silent as 10 the exact
amount. Theye is ono thing coriain,
however. He killed upward of fifty In
dams, dozen grizzly boar, ana over "A
hundred butlalos while he WAS gone o, and
that settles the question Of his being en-
titled TO command tho parade on tho
Fourth pf July, \ move is about To be
made to draw him out on wild Western
scenes, when somebody suddenly recul>
lects that Old Uncle Jerry IS lying at the
point of death. Everybody seems to feel
bad for moment, and then IL is remem>
Dered how he made his wifo 20 barefooled
In winter, lent money at fourteen per
cont, and whipped a yoke of steers TO
death, and tho lido slowly turns. There
* one question. however, on which all
arc agreed. Uncle Jerry, during bis
palmy days, once shoulderel "A barrel Of
cider aud carried IL forty rods.
"Hes, and ! seed him do it," sights tho
old man behind me. "kdct Of il was. il
was all ON my account, and ] boat him
pretty bad. / was up 10 Fuller's cider
mill arter "A barrel Of the sweet, when
Uncle Jorry came along with bouncing
three-y -year~Old steer. We got 10 banter~
lug, and We finally agreed that if l could
liit his steer / was 10 have him, and no
was TO have the cider if he could should
or it. don't keer to brag around now
In my old age, but / think / lifted that
steer without even CROWN red i'm tho
face, Uncle Jerry turned as whi.o as a
sheet. and thought he'd faint away, but
he stuck TO his word and took the
steer hum. He got heap o. credit all
over the county for liftin' that cider, an
never let on that / lised the steer, and
that's one thing rye kinder laid up agiE
the old man,
Then the next man lies about the num-
Der Of crows he saw i'm Kansas. a al so
wo go until it IS sharp 10 o'clock and
tho mosquitoes begin 70 hunger for
evening lunch. Then they lid each
other good night and separate to meet
and lie again.--M Qyod.