Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-03-11
Nnmuruas Repartmeut.

"a HAPPY FAM1LY."-The other evening
at 9 o'clock, Detroit policeman found b
family of FIVE persons and two old trunks,
under shed, waiting to 60 up the river on a
wood barge which wouldn't leave until the
next forenoon. The man had both hands
pressed to his face, the woman was wiping
her eyes on handkerchief, and all the chill
dren were squalling.
"What seems to be the matter ?" inquired
the officer. as he halted among them.
ooh nothing much," answered the man.
ave got the jumpin' toothache, but it allus
slacks up on me about midnight"
"What ails your wife ?"
"Oh she's kinder tired out and nervous,
but as soon as she gets good rest for her
hack agin the wood pile she'll 60 to sleep and
forget all about it. She's all right, she is"
"But the children are crying" continued"
the officer. ....
"Yaas, kinder crying" replied the man,
"but that's nothing: That boy Augustus
Cesar, he wants stick of gum, but he'll
soon chaw himself to sleep on silver. The
next one, Charles Henry, he's bowling cause
won't buy him rockin' horse but soons
get time to spank him he'll curl down and
60 to dreamin' of angels. That gal, Minerva,
has got her mouth made up for fried cakes
and milk, but I'll give her bit O pork and
bread from the trunk, and she'll never know
the difference. We are kinder sprawled out
here, and we seem to be kinder afflicted, but
we are regular happy family"
He HADN'T EATEN MUcH.-It was Sun.
day afternoon, and young Mr.. Staylaight had
stopped until they asked him to stay tor sup
per- The best china and the extra silver
graced the table, and one of the best napkins
was placed before young Mr.. Staylaights
plate for the family desired to create all the
impression possible upon the susceptible mind.
His young lady was conducting herself with
great credit, and the young man was more
than ever in love with her, when the mother
said, passing the cake for the second time:
won't you have another piece, Mr.. Stay
laight?"
mo, thank you," said the young man, in
his politest tone, mot any more"
20, do have just one more" urged the
mother, smiling sweetly "you haven't eaten
hardly any thing"
The younger brother, who sat opposite, and
had been instructed not to ask twice for any
thing. much to his disgust, saw his opportu-
nifty, and snorted out with great malevolence
Huh !! / shouldn't think he had! He's
eaten four hunks of tongue, three biscuit.
two plates of sauce, two of them tarts, and
both kinds of cake-and, mother, sis keeps
kickin' me under the table. Make her stop.
They brought Mr.. Staylaight to by dash
ing ice-water in his face.
A MINORITY JUDGE.-In one Of the West
ern States case was tried, and at its termi'
nation the Judge charged the jury and they
retired for consultation. Hour after hour
passed and no verdict was brought in. The
Judges dinner hour arrived, and he be-
came hungry and impatient. Upon inqni-
ry, he learned that one obstinate juryman
was holding out against eleven. That he
could not stand, and he ordered the twelve
jurymen to be brought before him. He told
them that in his charge to them he had SO
plainly stated the case and the law, that the
verdict ought to be unanimous, and the man
who permitted his individual opinion to weigh
against the judgment of eleven men Of Wis
dom was unfit and disqualified ever again to
act in the capacity of a juryman: At the end
of this excited harangue little squeaky.
voice came from one of the jurymen: He
said: Judge, will your Honor allow me to
say a word ?" Permission being given, he
added: MAY it please your honor, l am the
only man on your side."-Lo,sisuiAe Courier
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