Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-07-25
A MEAN TRICK.
Played with Il New HAT and am Old
Cheese.

hiayeO Wftm ~ new khay ana am OaN
Cheese.
Probably the meanest trick that was
ever played on white man was played
in New York, and the fact that there is
no vigilance committee there is the only
reason the perpetrators of the trick are
alive. A business man had Just pur-
chased new stiff hat, and he went into
a saloon with half dozen of his friends
to fit the hat ON his head. They all
took beer, and passed the hat around SO
all could see it. One of the meanest
men that ever held country Office went
to the bartender and had a thin slice of
Limburger cheese cut off, and when the
party were looking at the frescoed cell
ing through beer glasses this wicked
person slipped the cheese under the
sweat leather of the hat, and the man
put it ON and walked out. The man
who owned the hat is one of your nery-
GUS people, who is always complaining
of being sick, and who feels as though
some dreadful disease is going to take
possession of him and carry him off.
He went back to his place of business,
took off his hat and laid it On the table,
and proceeded to answer some letters.
He thought he detected o smell, and,
when his partner asked him if he didn't
feel sick, he said he believed he did
The man turned pale and said he
guessed he would go home. He met o
man on the sidewalk who said the ali
was full OF miasms, and in the street
car d man who sat next to him moved
away to the end of the car, and asked
him if he had just come from Chicago
when the stranger said they were having
a great deal of smallpox there, and he
guessed he would get out and walk. and
he pulled the bell and jumped of. The
cold perspiration broke out on the fore
head of the man with the new hat, and
he took it off to wipe his forehead, when
the whole piece of cheese seemed to roll
Overland breathe, and the man got the full
benefit of it. and came near fainting away
He get home and his wife met him
and asked him what was the matter He
said he believed modification had set in,
and she took one Whit as he took off his
hat, and said she should think it had.
"Where did you get into it % said she.
"Get into it % said the man, 81 have
not got into any thing, but some deadly
disease has got hold of me, and [ shall
not i've" She told him if any disease
that smelled like that had got hold of
him and was going to be chronic, she felt
as though he would be burden to him.
self if he lived very long. She got his
clothes off, soaked his feet in mustard
water, and he slept. The man slept and
dreamed that smallpox flag was hung
in front of his house and that he was
riding in butcher wagon to the pest
house. The wife sent for doctor. and
when the man of pills arrived she told
him all about the case. The doctor
picked up the patients new hat, tried it
on and got sniff. He said the hat was
picked before it was ripe. The doctor
and the wife held post-mortem exami
nation of the hat, and found the slice of
Limburger. "Few and short were the
prayers they said" They woke the
patient, and, to prepare his mind for the
revelation that was about to be made,
the doctor asked HIM If his worldly affairs
were in q satisfactory condition. He
gasped and said they were. The doctor
asked n1ln IL he NtsQ mace LIS WILL. ne
said he had not, but that he wanted a
lawyer sent for at once. The doctor
asked him if he felt as though he was
prepared to shuttle off. The man said
he had always tried to lead different
life, and had tried to be done by the
same as he would do it himself, but that
he might have made misdeal some way,
and he would like to have q minister sent
for to take an account of stock. Then
the doctor brought to the bedside the
hat, opened up the sweat-leather. and
showed the dying man what it was that
smelled SO, and told him he was as well
as any man in the city. The patie1t
pinched himself to see if he was give,
and jumped out of bed and caiied for
his revolver, and the docter couldn
keep up with him on tbs way down town
The last VIC saw of the odOriferous citi-
zen he was trying to bride the bartender
to tell him which one Of those pelicans
it was that put that slice of cheese in his
hat-lining.