The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-08-05
Sunbeams.

4 SunDearnS.
Hn-cents-Copper.
A sea gull-A sailors daughter.
4 Free of charge-An empty gun.
Clear grit-Cheap sugar.-Aerden Re
,orier.
The iron horse has but one ear-The en-
gineer.
A journalistic fght-A paper milL-Ronae
spellbound- Acknowledgment Sun
dry Times
It's never too hot for billiard balls to
freeze.-Fulton Times.
AarathO1a Lndependent.
Egypt is land of donkeys, but they
have morasses in Ireland.
They call polo 90 jocky hon 'orseback " in
Hensland- YonAers Gazette.
His attitude is always imposing-The
swindler's.-Amerlcdn Punch.
Poultry fanciers are educating hens to lay
the dust--S0merrille Journal.
The pin is mightier than the sward You
can sit on the sward with impunity.
The hotel porter whose business it is to
y wake people for the early trains has a rousing
time.
Tine cashier ran awny with all the funds,
and the directors placarded the door, g No
cashier"
No, Marguerette. it is not fashionable for
laiies to wear the outskirts of a cty.-Btoonp-
iagt0n Eye.
How to make a little money go great
way-Send a three cent piece in n letter to
: sClIina.-SOneS-oilLe Journal.
The Canada Temperance Act-The act of
q putting three gallons of water into one gal
Ion Of whisky Toronto Grip.
The seventeenth letter of the alphabet is
followed by an actor, preceded by China
man, and goes before billiard player
HackxAsack Republican.
Speaking Of monuments, Cincinnati ought
to be the first to propose one to liam
Salem Sunbeam. Shem you for such a
remark Cincinnati saturday Night.
A Buffalo man. bitten by n mad dog,
counteracted the effects of the poison by
swallowing seven quarts of lager. High
draw -for-b beer ,-And,esos' american Queen.
ilfs.i The word "dear is one of the greatest
inventions in the English language. Every
married man can say my dear wife" and
no one can just exactly tell what he means.
= -Y0nkers Statesman.
The chap who grumbles SO loudly when
his wife asks him to put up the clothesline,
is generally the first one to rush upon the
stage and be half hour tying female
medium in a cabinet.-NOrtcich Star.
The Zoo has acquired an anteater. The
battle of Anteat'em will now be fought
Ip..H
he comes to Get-is-bug he is pretty sure of
victory.-Neao York Commercial Adoerttser.
A down-Easter tells of an organ grinder
who saw q circus bill and took it for an
Italian sunset. A frislxy dog tripped him
ND and there mistake about the
scene; it was a genuine Italian son Set
BloomingtOn Eye.
Perspiration never rains it simply pores
NJ r. Ezpress And boil never flies, but
= It sores-Opego Record And apples nevers
fnu without cores.-B0st0n Journal Of Com
sserce And q book agent is no gimlet, but
he bores.-Salena Sunbeam.
The patter of the rain upon the roof is
most musical when the roof is the right
relate, roofs are most always too fiat
6Jvncslse Sunday Times Or to sharp-at
The peak--Salem Sunbeam.
a 6Lf80Ror, passing u cuufCIyhfu anu BOO
ing q hearse standing hard by, inquired
Who Was dead. The sexton informed him.
''What complaint y asked the inquisitive
one. Said the old man "There Is no
complaint everybody is satisfied"
Rockford girl had her corset torn off by
lightning, and was uiinjured, but a young
Imam who called to borrow a book had his
right arm shattered and piece of corset
steel blown into his liver. He said he didn't
know she was loaded.-Pecks Sun.
A lawyer was compelled to apologize to
- the COURT With stately dignity, he arose in
his place, and said: - Your honor is right,
aud am wrong, your honor generally
iso There was a dazed look in the judges
seyes snd he hardly knew whether to feel
happy, or fine the lawyer for contempt Of
court
An Irishman who had pig in his posses
sion was observed TO adopt the constant
practice of filling it to repletion one day and
starving il the next On being asked his
reason for doing so, he replied: "Och,
ure and isn't it that like to have bacon
with strake o. fat and strake o. lane
aaually. one after the rother."
An exchange says there was recently
= killed in the Kentucky River catfish
~ weighing 17Si pounds. This Is, of course
allie Ii it had been said that a trout weigh
,ug that amount had been caught, We should
l,aye believed it. We have caught them
ourselves nearly rs large as that and our
,uck never amounted to much--LOutsDflIS
[,uyier-, Journal