Litchfield enquirer., 1880-04-01
When ladies meet,
 They always greet

| They always greet
 1 With kisses heard across the street; But men, more mild, Are not so wild
 They meet, then part, when both have smiled. !" A Vermont mans mOther-in law was killed 1 by the cars, and he got $22, 900 from the rail- road company. And yet there are men just mean enough to say that the son-n-law ought to have felt obligated to pap the money to the | railroad instead Of 0jce Oer q. At recent licture speaker quoted the fol- lowing epitaph from a tombstone in Eng land:
 ''Here lies the body of Retsey Bim, Who was so very pure within. She burst the outer shell of sin, And hatohed herself cheru6im." A gentleman saw recently copy of VOltaire lying on the center table m MT. Robert C. h. gersolPs parlor in Washington. ''How much did this book costf" inquired the gentleman '"rhe Governorshipof Illinois" was Ingersoll's laconlc reply.
 Visitor-''Lor' 'ow did it 'appen p Mrs O'Blarney, the nurse whose patient has had relapse: "Will, now, she wor a gittn' on foinly, she wor, when all uv suddint she tuk violent cold. No one cudnt tell low it 'ap- pened, but it is my belief they gev her gruel out uv damp basin.
 Indiana girls are right smart An exchange tells of girl in that state who wanted to see if her lover really loved her, 80 she hired boy to yell Mad dog" as they were walk ing out. The lover flew over the fence and left her to be ehewed up, and she went right away and married store clerk.
 An inebriated Texan-presumably ranger being in the theatre at Austin the other night, when Mccullough was acting Othell0 and F. B. Warde IGgO became so incensed with IGg0 that he produced his pistol and de- clared that he wonId ''shoot the scoundrel." "He must, anyway, be villain,' this practi- cal critic remarked, ''and if he don't stop abusing that woman Amelia, Ill shoot him anyhow" Mir. Warde was rescued.
 "Poor Herbert, how I wish you did not have to slave so from morning till night !" murmured his wife, as, with a fond caress, she seated herself on her husbands knee, and gently stroked the auburn locks from his lofty brow. And the grave stern man of business understood Der at once, and said: 'Well, Susie what is it-a bonnet, or what Don't be to hard on pe, for money is scarcer than ever."
 An insurance agent seeing a would-be n- surer had, in filling up the proposal fern, an- sweEed the questions Age of father, if liv- lng?" "Age of mother, if living ?" by making the one 112 years and the other 102 years old, congratulated him of coming of long lived family. "Oh," said the applicant, "my pa- rents died many years ago: but, if living would be aged as there put down."
 A young American, who has been in Paris ! for year studying medicine, was visited by his father. Like dutifu son, he parades his paternal couscientiously through the city. and points out it's architectural lions Fin ally they halt before a many -pilared building. "What is that lordly pile ?" asks the old man. T don't know, " replies the youth ''but there is sergent de vile" They cross over, and put the question. ''That, gentlemen" says the officer, lis the Medical School' A young vestryman connected with a church at Pittsburg the other Sunday by mis- | take sent the following letter to the rector to read among announcements, supposing it to- be the notice of temperance meeting: Dear l John: am sorry can't let you come to see me as frequently as usual, but papa and man. 1 me think should not receive even my very 1 dear friends during the Lenten season. It's awfully disagreeable, if not positively cruel but then you know we Episcopalans can't go back on Lent. I shall see you oftenpr than usual, 1 hope when the holy season is gone. Yours. with friendship" 10 ai.