The Cincinnati daily star. [volume] ([Cincinnati, Ohio]) 1875-1880, 1880-03-01
THE BRIGHT SIDE.
Which Our GOOd-humOred Writers
Give to Journalistic Work,

Off ON decanter.- Lowell Courier.
The Prince of Wales wants more sal.
ary It's hardly likely that he will
strike, however, New York Express.
Laundry girls are too much among
flats to be sharp Waterloo Observer.
This is sad irony Boston Transcript.
"Duty stares me in the facel" as GER
tain prominent senior remarked, when
the Custom-house officer caught him
smuggling few dozen promenade kids.
II Yale Record.
A loving British wife's postscript to a
letter addressed to her husband in New
York: "Dear William, I have perused
the police reports and Morgue returns
every day, hoping to see your name."
Somebody discovers that it takes
$50, 100000 day to run the world. If
that's so, we'll take the contract for one
day and forfeit ten per cent. of the
money if we fail.-[Philadelphia Times.
"No," said a Philadelphia undertaken,
Cuisines has not revived as it should.
What we need in this country to make
things boom is the cholera, yellow fever,
or some other epidemic. - Philadelphia
Chronicle-Herald.
Sweets to the Sweep. Goody-And
whin wull yer be gittin up, sorY Sure,
want to come up and swape. Under
grad-Oh! go way, Goody. When you
come up and sweep, I'll get up and dust.
IT Harvard Lampoon.
A freshman who was around town ear
ly the other morning singing envy Heart
is in the Highlands" was told by the
watchful guardian of the night that his
body would be in the police station if he
did not keep quiet Yale Record.
Care drives the nails in our coffins, but
what man can feel jolly when his wife
daily hands him list Of neighbors who
have got twice as many bonnets as she
has and their husbands not earning half
his salary Detroit Free Press.
In the report of "swell wedding" it
was written: "Her dainty feet were in
cased in shoes that might have been tax
en- for fairy boots" but the compositor
made it read, "shoes that might have
been taken for ferry oats."-[ Inter-
Ocean.
In England young gentlemen speak of
their fathers as "the governor" "pater,"
"the overseer," ETC. Here we are more
civilized. We say "dad," "the boss" or
'the old man." In heather countries
they say "father," but they are away be-
hind the age New York Commercial
Advertiser.
"Well, Ethel, DEAR" said an uncle to
his little fve-year-old niece, ''if you like
your new toy, come and put your arms
around my neck and give me kiss"
The little maiden complied, but as she
did SO she remarked: "Oh, uncle, how
do spoil you"
eff this scalp fits you, you may wear
it," scornfully remarked the under In
dian in the fight. And the victor, who
was man open to conviction, wore it on
his leggings till he lost it, some years
later, in connection with his own Bur-
lington Hawkeye.
An old lady at the revival meeting in
Emlenton, the other night, arose in the
congregation and said, "Brethren and
sistern, I feel very regretful for my sins,
and their burden is heavy, / feel-I feel
like the 'shucker' on brass candle
stick."-[Oil City Derrick.
Pat: "Well, Dan, and have you heard
the news-have we heard that Rory the
miller's dead?" Dan: "Rory, the miller,
is it that's dead now? Jabers, but ye
don't say so, and he was a young man,
too" Pat: "Faith, an that's thrue for
ye, DAN; he was such young man, now,
that l expected to see him at my own
funeral instead of me going to his"
An Unexpected Pleasure-Beloved but
unresponsive fair one: $50 glad to see
you, Cousin Charley, and so kind of you
to drop in! Now, you'll sit couple of
hours with grandmamma, won't you
just to amuse her while Arthur and l
take astroll in the garden? And be care
full to speak as loud as you can, for she's
very, very deaf, poor dear!"- Harvard
Lampoon.
A clergyman asked his Sunday School:
with what remarkable weapon did
Samson at one time slay number of
Philistinesp' For a while there was no
answer, and the clergyman, to assist the
children little, commenced tapping his
jaw with the tip of his finger, at the
same time saying, "Whats this?-whats
thisg Quick as thought, a little fellow
innocently replied, "The jawbone of an
ass, STRIP Inter-Ocean.
The Latin term for cod-liver oil is
"Alleum jecoris asseli." A doctor pre-.
scribed it for an old lady the other day,
and, as usual, in his prescription abbre-
waited the terms, which read: "R. O.e
JAG Ass, OF. iii" A friend of the old
lady congratulated her upon her restora.
tion to health, when she said: eyes, ii
was that beautiful medicine, the oil Of
jackass, that brought me on my feet
again. - Inter-Ocean.
Murder is sometimes justifable. A
cook was dispatched by lady the other
day and buried in the backyard, and no
body who knew the circumstances found
i the least fault. There was a guest