The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1880-04-07
HASH

Always striking for wages-A
blacksmith.
1t is better to 60 out on a fly than
on a lark.
Heavenly s-Clergyman's
sore throats.
To stop man from talking-Cut
his said off.
ParIor notwithstanding in the
drawing-room.
When q soldier is i'll he becomes
q six shooter.
Is the man who dimes of pigs feet
reduced to extremitiesS
Trusting to chants Expecting to
60 to heaven by singing.
The bee hive is the poorest thing
in the world to fall back on.
A river is called sheet Of water
because it is spread out over the bed.
The no. bili,y-The members who
oppose the introduction of any more
bills.
1t is said that Edison is perfecting
an electric shirt.bosom pin tor the
cheap hotel clerk.
It's a very curious thing that the
Nihilists haven't tried kerosene
lamp on the czar.
Peru may have lost her celebrated
iron.clad, but she still possesses
her famous bark.
A correspondent wants to know
how long bees live. About the same
as short bees, we suppose.
The discovery of diamond making
seems somewhat like Edison's light;
now you see it, and now you don't.
Misery loves company. This ex-
plains why men who can't support
themselves occasionally become bus
bands and fathers.
The experienced never speaks OF
Chicago girls feet by that name.
They mention them as Chicago's
great terminal facilities.
II is hard work to get an army Of
ficer on the retired list, but after that
nothing but death can remove him.
-[General Sherman.
The principal beauty of the Nor
mon religion is that the same woman
doesn't have to get up first the en-
tire winter to build the kitchen fire.
1t is perhaps natural TO conclude
that Father Time is married, not be-
cause he is called father time, but
because he is often taken by the fore
lock.
Washington never told a lie, but
if the gem puzzle had existed in his
day we fear that be might have
have said: ooh, I've done it lots Of
times, but ] can't tell just how"
A Rhode Island man who left a
son and daughter penniIess that he
might give Harvard College $4,000,
had his will busted so quick that it
almost turned his grave around.
An lrishman, seeing a vessel hea.
Willy laden and scarcely above the
waters edge, exclaimed: "Upon nay
soul, if the river was but little
higher the ship would 60 to the bot
TOM"
Did it ever occur to you why a
lawyer who is conducting disputed
will case is like trapeze performer
in circus2 Didn't Well. it's be-
cause he flies through the heir with
the greatest of fees.
The man who was approached
from the rear by goat and went
over q six foot wall and rooted up
the ground for three rods, on being
reyixed told the doctor that he had
not at the time of tue accident the
remotest idea that he was standing
on a railroad track.
A California boy stood an umbrel-
la in church doorway during a
meeting. To this umbrella was at
tached a strong cord, an end of
which the boy held in his hand.
Eleven different christians carried
this umbrella to the length Of the
string when the service was over.
There is now living in Sbrews-
bury, Conn.,, in one house, under one
roof, one family of three mothers,
one grandmother, and one great.
grandmother, two daughters and one
granddaughter, one son, one grand.
son, and one great grandson, and but
four persons in all.
The enemies of the Car of Rus
STA will attempt shooting him, blow
ing him up and stabbing him, and
still he will live until some day,
when he is fooling with a revolver
that isn't loaded. he'll oct the whole