The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1880-11-12
The Gallagher Divorce Case.

as he entered Colonel Browns law Office. ii
called to see about a suit of divorce"
"Take a seat" said the Colonel.
"In the first place." said Mr. Gallagher, 81
want TO ask, can divorce be obtained on the
ground of general incompatibility
81 dunno" said the Colonel. 81 must as
certain the facts"
sixty eight divorce suits for me tomorrow
upon that ground"
| Sixty -eightY
"Lct me explain. You see, about four
years ago went to Salt Lake City and was
converted to the Mormon religion. When |
joined, Bishop Grubb said ought to marry,
and so proposed for six daughters, and we
We're consolidated at once. On the following
Thursday the Bishop died. He left eleven
| widows. His executors pointed out that
might probably assuage their grief and get q
iirmer grip on the property by taking them
out of their lonely condition. So ! married
them and also pooled in two sisters of one of
them living in Idaho, and cousin of anoth-
era cousin who was single and had cast
in her eye"
"That made twenty, did ?" observed the
Colonel.
"Twenty, Well, then, the impression
your honor, naturally got around that was
n marrying man, and so the twelve apostles
ut their next meeting sealed to me four wild
ows and an old maid that were drifting about
the settlement with no one in particular to
look after them, and as took the act good
naturally, why on the following week Bish-
| OPP Knox got the apostles to pass over to me
job lot of his relations, including two aunts,
one grandmother and n second cousin, and
| Bishop O'Toole threw in a step-sister,
| mother-inaw, and three miscellaneous or
phans, who were related to nobody. So, YOU
see, was gradually getting quite little fam
| lily about me-"
81 see" said the Colonel.
"And then, your honor, if any unattached
woman would come along on the cmigrant
| trains, they were always ordered to be mar
| ried to me, SO that eventually, in addition to
| my other wives, had gathered in two WEIGH
women, a Mexican, an old lady from the
Sandwich Islands, three Peruvians, the wild
| ow of japanese acrobat, and Kickapoo
squaw. | thought the heads of the church
were a little hard on me, but | had to sub
| nit"
"Did you have happy household?"
Il am just coming to that / can't say that
we are all perfectly congenial, our tastes diff.
fer So The Bishop Grubb delegation. for in
stance, would want caramels for breakfast in
the morning, when the folks from Peru were
determined to have CLAIMS. Bishop Knox's
WOulO luSlSJ Oh Cledul0G mousse
at the very time when Bishop O'Tools rela-
tons wanted to give party If the Sand
witch Islander and the squaw wanted to boil
a dog or two in the soup kettle, there was al
ways fuss with the other women, and the
Mrs. Gallagher who came from Japan used
to make the rest of the ladies furious by turn
ing somcrsaults in the parlor when there was
company. AS for wash day! Well, one
wanted it on Monday, another would have it
on Tuesday, and so on. If there had been
thirty-seven days in week, we should have
had washing going on in each of Them"
"Precisely."
"And then Emeline, one of my first batch
wives had studied medicine and she was al
ways practicing upon the others She intro
duced whooping- cough into the family in Or
der to try favorite remedy of hers. Imag-
inc sixty eight women in one house with the
whooping-cough And then she put ipecac
in their tea n few weeks afterwards, to see if
it would give them the asthma, and it did,
The whole crowd went around gasping for
BREATH and l think the Mexican woman
short-winded for life. / demonstrated with
Emelne, but the very next day she tried to
yaccinate the old lady from the Sandwich Is
lands by boring hole in her elbow with
gimlet"
Didn't mind you, eh?"
ago, brought home a poodle for Julia, one
of the younger ones. This looked little
like Partially, and of course the sixty-seven
Others wanted q poodle apiece at once
Now, Pm not able to pay dog tax sixty
eight times year, so saw there was trou-
BILE brewing and the next day when came
home every woman of them had dog of her
own; been out and bought them. They
ranged from bloodhound to black-andt tan
terriers. demonstrated, and then-well, the
women began to cry and that set the dogs to
barking, and then Lucinda went for Julia's
hair and the other ladies joined in, and the
dogs pretty soon began to engage in the con-
troversy, and in few minutes, what might
have been a happy family circle, was good
deal more like copy of the battlefield of
Waterloo. So fled and took the first train
for the East, and abandoned the Mormon re-
ligion permanently, and what want to know
is if Can have those sixty eight marriage
bonds united. Money is no object, so that I
can get loose"
81 think it can be done" said the Colonel
"Call in tomorrow"
And Mr.. Gallagher withdrew with the air
ola man whose mind had been greatly re-
lieved.-Nar Adler.