The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-09-17
SIZE AN THOUGHTS.

ACCOUNT vi ulAeIi1g Wlfn F0il IN religion
OF political opinions.
Caudle says that his wife, ut least, wha
ever may be the opinion Of census-takcl
with others Of he,, sex, Is always ready /
| tell her rage e"-
/ 4tccotemparary says, ''Fulness under til
eye denotes. language.'' The writer ha
probably been knocked down for some
thing he has printed. @ 49,
Pinafore lasted longer than :sfifteen.
| Everybody could sing pinafore yotl SEE
f5but nobody could do 'sf1ftccn,'' or harll
nobody. Hdren Register.
i sGourt--Did the prisoner have any prov
ocation, before he made this assault? Ii
tellfgent TFitness--I cau't swear to it YOU
Honor, but I've no dots,tle'd had glas
iortHo. .'rs 58
| IT is near midnight. \ beautiful idle
has been 1ozing for more than an hour
Suddenly She rises, stretches, yawns, ant
says firmly to herself, ''Como now, u,
more laziness-go to bcd''
Men often jump at conclusions y say
| The proverb. So do dogs. One recent,
Jumped at the conclusion of a cat, whicl
was sticking through partlv-closed door
md created great disturbance. ..
This is the way the married editor sums
up Lent: ''The hen which lays the Easter
.sggg is great bird, but it takes the goose
which lays the golden egg to bring Easter
)onnets. ''-Rochester Democrat.
Every gritty, this salad,'' said one
friend to another, when they were dining
vogether; don't you think so:" Certify
repeated the other-"gritty! Why, cal
ia gravel path with only few weeds Oh
il It! /" t{@:=a.ss .-'--
''What are you doing out there, my
laughter, in the night-dew?'' 80 said the
kindly old gentleman on the piazza
Practising fencing,' was the sweet re
'ly, as she leaned over the fence till he
ace was dreadfully clo~c to Williams.
y Do not blame. the rooster for brapgins
over every egg that is laid in the family.
Only human nature, nothing more. Yol
.'emember that when that bouncing boy
rrived. at your house, it was not thu
mother who went about doing the crow
ng.. NJ - 5='st
An Old lady, visiting the Antiquarian
nuseum in Edinburgh one day, on in.
specting the Old, weapons very earnestly.
md falling to find what she was apparent
" looking for, asked a visitor if he coulo
teii her whereabouts they kept the Axe
of the Apostles. @a.z.ss..
A remarkable incident III the history Of
William .snloak5 5-of Charleston, " al, IL
that lie hasliyed to. see his youngest anG
thirteenth child q grandmother. He has just
entered his 97th year, has 10i grandchil-
diren, 39l greatgrandchildren and seventy
at-gre;lt-grandchildl
1--WE don t.Want I'LL this, we.don't want
VI said an attorney, the other day, 10 4
voltlble old lady on the witness-stand. I'll
is Irrelevant" But the witness paid NO
eQ,gaand talked on, finishing with,
iiSlhere, you've got it, whether you want
it or not. and it is,l' t ilrevercnt, either.''
~ 'Arlntie; asked lovely brunette OF
sweet seventeen of ller cross-tempered
chaperon, an ugly old maid of sour sixty,
why are you like an engine?" ''I don't
KNOW snapped auntie. "Because,"
sadly answered the beauty, ''you always
scatter the sparks whenever you appear"
The members ola young ladies' debat-
ing society in Troy have decided in favor
Of long courtehips. Lcvel-headed girls.
Observation has taught them that there is
1 wonderful falling-off of confections, balls,
;arriage-rides, and opera when courtship
ends and the stern realities of married life
oegin. III 5s" .. ..s... ... .
man having announced that he was
once in community where they all mind
I'd their own business, his statement was
doubted, and he was called upon to tell
where it was. at was on board ship at
'ea,o said he; ''and the passengers were
III too sick to medde with one another's
fairs -.Lf
The new Sunday-school scholar, wht
vas better 4versed in the trotting vocabu-
airy thon in Moses and the prophets, as
onished the superintendent of the
5unday-school, last Sunday, by replying
o his question, (which class would you
ike to go into. my little man?'' a"The
t:4Q class as,t. .soS ats3 ,Ef@ -,at'sf
A soldier was sentenced, for deserting,
Q have his ear cut off: After undergoing
he ordeal, he was escorted out of the
,ourt-Eard to the tune ef ''The Rogue's
darch.' He then turned, and in mock
Iignity thus addressed the musicians
/ thank you, but I have nc
ar for music. .''f.t a52tf3
The English language is wonderful TO
ts aptness7of expression. When a numbeI
'fnen aud women get together, and look
It each otherfro the sides Of room,
hats called d sociable. When hungry
roWd calls upona poor minister and eats
limsout Of house and home, that's called
onation party.
They begged him to play little. He
eened 70 feel bashful at first, but after a
While began to- play. vigorously. s.Wha
ower!'' said 4 listener to the owner. OF
he -piaiio. eyes exclaimed the latter, |
/ al;linl, 't he seems to have considerable |
1tscle:; BIT he ought to know that this
u T u gymnasium. ...s, . NJ ...sI
Mrs Betsy Henderson Of Warren avenue,
'oston, who recently celebrated the Tooth |
Of her birthday, reads and
oes fine sewing without the aid of eye
lasses. She relates. events Of 1894, and /
aYs that she saw thirteen horses draw
e Cornerstone Of the new State House.
aaIther father's housein Gharterlstreet.
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