Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1880-02-26
Bob Bnrdett.

ldu4llS away III LlG uISLdllCCJ IHC Adt pas
senger drumming idly on the window
pane, the cross passenger sound asleep,
and the tail, thin passenger reading
General Grants Tour Around the
World" and wondering why Green's
August Flower" should be printed
above the doors of GA Buddhist temple
at Benares." TO me comes the brake
man, and seating himself Oh the arm Of
the seat says:
81 went to church Yesterday"
eyes :" l said, with that interested
infection that asks for more. "And
what church did you attend?"
(Which do you guess?" he asked.
"Some union mission church ?" haZ-
arded.
"Naw," he said; 81 don't like to run
on these branch roads very much. |
don't often 60 to church, and, when l
do, l want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and you go
on scedule time and don't have to wait
on connections. l don't like to run on
branch. Good enough, but l don't
like it,"
"Episcopal?" guessed.
"Limited express, " he said, call pal
ace cars and 81 extra for seat; fast time
and only stop at the big stations. Nice
line, but too exhaustive for brakeman.
All train men in uniform; conductors
punch and lantern silver-plated, and
no train boys allowed. Then, the pas
sengers are allowed to talk back at the
conductor; and it makes them too free
and easy. Rich road, though. Don't
often hear of a receiver being appointed
for that line. Some mighty nice people
on it, too"
"Universalist?" I suggested.
"Broad-gauge,' said the brakeman;
does too much complimentary business.
Everybody travels on a pass. Conduc-
tor doesn't get fare once in fifty miles.
Stops at all flag-stations, and won't run
into anything but union depot. No
smoking-car on the train. Train orders
are vague though, and the trainmen
don't get along we'll with the passen-
gers. No don't go the Universalist,
though | know some awfully good men
who run on that road"
"Presbyterian ?" asked.
"NarrOw-gauge, eh ?" said the brake
man; 'pretty track, straight as rule;
tunnel right through a mountain rather
than go around it; spirit-level grade;
passengers have to show their tickets
before they get on the train. Mighty
strict road, but the cars are little mar
row; have to sit one in seat and no
room in the aisle to dance. Then there's
no stop-over tickets allowed; got to go
straight through to the station you're
ticketed for, or you can't get on at all.
When the cars full, no extra coaches;
cars built at the shops to hold just so
many and nobody else allowed on. But
you don't often hear of an accident on
that It's run right up to the rules"
"Maybe you joined the Free Think
ers ?" said.
"Scrub road," said the brakeman,
Hdirt-road bed and no ballast; no time
and no train dispatcher. All trains run
wild and,every engineer makes his own
time, just as he pleases. Smoke ifyou
want to; kind of go as you please
road. Too many side tracks, and every
switch wide open all the time, with the
switchman sound asleep and the target
lamp dead out. Get on as you please
and get off when you want to. Don't
have to show your tickets, and the con-
ductor isn't expected to do anything
but amuse the passengers. No, sir; |
was offered pass, but / don't like the
line. | don't like to travel on a road
that has no terminus. Do you know,
sir, asked division superintendent
where the road run to, and he said he
hoped to dieif he knew, | asked him
if the general superintendent could tell
me. He said he didn't believe they had
a general superintendent, and if they
had he didn't know any more about the
road than the passengers. asked who
he reported to, and he said nobody l
asked a conductor who he got his orders
from, and he said he didn't take orders
from any living man or dead ghost.
And when asked the engineer who he
got orders from, he said he d like to see
anybody give him orders; he'd run that
train to suit himself or he'd run it into
the ditch. Now, you see, sir, I'm a
railroad man, and l don't care to run on
a road that has no time, makes no con-
nections, runs nowhere, and has no SUI
perintendent. 1t may be all right, but
i've railrOaded too long to understand
it,"
"Did you try the Methodist" said.
"Now, you're shouting" he said with
some enthusiasm. "NiCe road, eh? Fast
time and plenty ofpassengers. Engines
carry a power of steam, and don't you
forget it; steam-gauge shows hun
dred, and enough all the time. Lively
road; when the conductor shouts, 'all
aboard you can hear him to the next
station. Every train lamp shines like a
headlight. Stop-over checks given on
all through tickets; passenger can drop
off the train as often as he likes, do the
station two or three days and hop on
the next revival train that comes thun-
dering along. Good, wholesouled, COM
panionable conductors; amt road in
the country where the passengers feel
more at home. No passes; every pas
senger pays full traffic rates for his
ticket. Wesleyanhouse air-brake on all
trains, too; pretty safe road, but l
didn't ride over it yesterday"
"Maybe you went to the Congrega-
tional Church ?' | said,
Popular" said the brakeman, San
old road, too; one of the very oldest in
this country. Good road-bed and COM
Portable cars. Well-managed road, too;
,Igranfnra don1t fntaPfhra with division