, 1880-08-02
The Art Of Married Life,

The Art OF Married Life.
The sacred art and mystery Of living
together rs husband and wifel II
tenches the deepest springs of human
happiness and success.
When the novel reaches Its last chap
ter; when the wedding: day crowns the
happy story OF love and courtship, then
begins for man and woman the real
lest Of what they are; then is thrown
spon their own hands the question of
what the future is to be. In q true
marriage the sweet season of romance
that precedes the bridal day is but the
harbinger of better things to come.
Rut the secret is easily missed. It is
missed oftenest probably through the
mans fault. The 6rst and great lesson
OF marriage is that the thought of
another Is to come before the thought
Of self. The revelation which true love
makes is this: One sees in another
soul such beauty and attraotiveness
thas its service is preferred to the
service of self. No emotion which
lacks this high element deserves to be
called love. The desire of possession,
the longing for intimate and habitual
eempanionship. these come in too, and
make q part. But higher than these
thsre Is that complete und joyful self
surrender In which y woman appears SO
lovely to man that to make her happy
becomes his strongest desire; and
woman sees in q man such nobility
that she can gladly devote her life to
him. That Is the lOftiness and the rap
fnre Of true love.
The problem of married Life is to
maintain the nobility and elevation of
ihis early sentiment. The chief re-
snirement is simple enough. It is only,
pnt yeur wife OF husband before your
ssli In your thoughts and choices. 70
The wife this lesson is generally en-
pAatically spoken by the circumstances
into which marriage brings her. It
gives her as her chief business tho max
ing Of homo for her husband and sf-
beRwards for her children. The event
Of her day is his return from work.
Her work is to make him comfortable
and happy. His satisfaction and ap
probation are the standard of her sue
cess or failure. So she is put at once
into an outward relation of service.
Often there is mingling of hardship
in this. Before the wedaing-dsy she
gas queen; her will and wish were
law. Her lover nade il his frs.
thought to please her. Now it must be
Asr first thought to please him. HIS
main occupation lies No longer with
her. but with his daily work. he may
be ever 30 devoted and tender, but
most of his time aud much of his
thoughts must now go elsewhere. Her
great business ls his Comfort and hap
piness; his great business is something
apart from her. And he will never be-
gan to know all she does for him. HIS
Mannish eyes miss half the little details
Of work that go to carrying on house
hold in Comfort. He Will he q some
what rare man if he ever fully compre
Aends the broad fact that her indlvId
ual life Is merged Ia service to him. 1t
10 she womans lot to do more than she
gets credit for. The hearts wages for
work is appreciation, and few wives get
fall pay. 1t il when some sense Of
these things breaks upon the woman iu
the early months of her married life
that she stands faco to tace-as prOba-
bly, never betOre-wlth her destiny.
And what destiny offers her is ST, vice.
A hard gift to iook upon at first! De-
ollaed or grudgiDgly taken 1t VIII
wound and brulse u life tlLlo through.
Bravely accepted it will temper tA=
whole life to celestial sw. e:ness. 1t Is
inss here that the wlte has the advAE
tage over the husband that outward cIr-
cumstances Set stralg ht before her the
lesson of self reu unclatlon and service
La the household, as tuey do not set IL
before him. HIS face must turn toward
hIs daily work. There Als best energ,
Is spent aud his vitality dralAed. When
hS cones home be wants rest. He
feels himself, in u measure, off duty.
And here he gets the fun Comfort OF Il
good wife, anu the home that d goou
wife makes. He is taken in and rested
and shielded troa annoyance, and en-
cOmpassed by honared gentle minis
tries. Hers he Can forget the tolls Of
his day, Or review them in q serener
Light; finding here gladness for his
successes, and comfort for his failures,
misjudged him. Here body and soul
fnd refreshment. and he is sent out
new man for the morrow's struggle.
Aud if his wife is not allow to give
him this she is cheated as much as he
Is. This is her happiness and reward;
this is what crowns her work. Yet this
resting time has it's danger. Who has
40. known men who were spoiled by
the goodness of their wives? men who
allowed themselves TO receive until
they utterly forgot to give? The more
generously and gladly q wife gives the
more watchful should the husband be
that he makes due return.
The foe Of married happiness in in
attention. The real wrong to the wife,
the real failure of the husband is when