The daily intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Territory [i.e. Wash.]) 1876-1881, 1880-06-01

From his young manhood Mr. Spoop-
enfyke. VI Clinton street. hsd WON
his shirts and cuffs in one piecs-that i
the cuffs made with the shirt sud firml =
attached thereto. But . few businecs
disa'ters taught Mr. Spoopendyke econ.
envy. aud when. lately, he noticed .
disposition to fray out around the bot.
tom OF his shirt sleeves, . new idea
struck him.
III tell VOC what we'll do, Mrs
spoopendyks. s.id be. .you get some
OF those false, reversib BILE cuffs, and can
button them on. Then can wear .
shirt day longer than do nsw.'
Mrs. SpooPendyks bought the cuffs
aud presented them to Mr.. Spoopen-
Dyke with many N aealogiuu uonn
sheir sdvsutages over the old styie.
They were as hard n . ucwlys elected
candidate. q - - -
Mr.. Spoopendyke sat down on the
side Of the bed and began to insert hi.
sleeve buttons. Iptroducina 4 tre-
mendous muscular effort, he jsmmed
the shank through one hole and then
commenced on the other. He twisted
and screwed sround for While, then
stamped around the room apd screwed
aud twisted sgain. while Nrs. Spoopen-
dyke looked on with considerable
solicitude.
Let me do that for you. my dear"
she said, growing nervous.
"W! Of course Let you do il.
certainly Perhaps you think your
thumb il . jackscrev, apd you can
jam thrss-ioch button throuyh . two
inch hole" And ct it he went again.
He tore of both thumb nails and
sprained his finger. Then hs sat down
and glared at it awhile and finally went
st 1t again. succeeding at last.
Next time you get me anything to
wear" said he. With an sir of triu mph.
get something with sou,s. starcb in il.
l understaad ,hese ,hisge nov sudc cAn
work them like Z MICE" ~
he went attas second Suff viGh even
worse success than the 6rsk By msio
strensth he jAbbed the shank though
the second, but the edge of the button
hole turned bsck aud there it stuck.
Try Q button hook, my dear" sug-
gestsd his wife.
"Oh yes. button hook That's
the very thing. button hook By Ill
msans. II fyou css't fsd . button
hook, fetch me three tined fork or :
hard boiled egg. You've got an idea
that you can raise . church debt with
q button hook. What'd you buy such
cuffs for, anyhow? Why didn't you
get couple of Lengths Of stove pipe.
something |. could get > button
through! Glnme . knife"
!" But you are not going to cut it,
my dear !"
Cat it, who said anything about
cuttingit? Cant stick . knife under
the edge Of this beyond redemption
button hels and tvist Il rosad that
lost to all rsmorse shank? Gimme .
knife, ] tell ycu. and don't stand there
like secoul -hAnd gravestone. Spring
around. you hear me 2"
She got him knife. and he rammed
il at the button hold. Il came through
and took three-quarters Of An inch Of
bark Of his middle finger. Then be
prodded again snd finally the thing
wss fixed. 60
ItslI ysu. Mrs. Spoopsndy yke, !" ssid
be. you musD't interfere With mo
when / I'm doing anything. No man
cau stand IT, II il hadn't bsen for you
I'd had these cuffs on and worn ont be-
fore this. Nov TIT Button tism %
the shirt" : e. IT. Z
But this was even . worse Job than
the other. He ouuld get the little
button just half way through. and no
further. He peggsds and tagged ard
jerked IL, but it 'wss no uss. He bailsd
like kettlss and simmefsd like .
saucepan. but that didn't help Kim. !,
.CAnt yeu tell ~ hoy thsaa thinos
20 I" he dsmspded. .Didst yeu 81
tho man bow to pot theu on Wefeht
thsrs cay Instructions In tAs boz {
Say sooething. can't you! What ars
these thineA anyhow -
.Why, my dear, they're cufis.s @
"Cs6s. oh. yss. culhi bxBcs-
You're surs they s;nt stsam boilss9
are you You're prsparsd n. swear
they aiu't railroad tunnels, ! presume.
Since you're posted. perhaps yogll *
plain whether IL neceespry n Nan .
tole in 'eu 10 get 1 huttoa through"
.Noe at all. All yoa'vs gos - do 10
isst msistso the holss . little % take
the starch out, and the button viii -
through nicely. ssa.fss -
.Of conrss. of courss. I 30 IL BOW.
Plain ~ day. isn't III Jost ths thiaG.
Noisssa The bultoe ho1es tili ysu ~
the starch ont xsl. Spsopsndy he.
will roo b kind ssoegh - aEep ass1nd
and ask the 6rs department 70 sooOe
over here . minute. and squirt on thsss
cu6sf'
.xos~.s.. fll q Z. for ysa n !
NV" AZ
She took them. ard vstting hsr
iinRers. removed tAs sti&heaa and thsa
taking . hai1 pin. ~ fastsas1 tAsp
to the shirt vish : saru q ~ vrtsk
"Thst's I'll right. 1fa Saoepnadyka;
shse's sll riahe Iee thia go ti1e. bae !
reck0a you had hektsr tArow theoe
thines sway bsfore long. dsot
mind 'so arossd the hsuse Wa
there i somsbody 10 tis 'sa %. bet !
usy Aavs 10 20 trsvslisg s00efios.
end I dou't proposs 70 lug areaAd =
truok full Of hair pins asd . bucket
OF water; that's oil.
GOssaP ADoUf WOMEN.