The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1880-10-15
Another Theory Busted.

A widow who was going to cave the CITY
held an auctios OF ber household effects
the other dav, and every ything went prompt
,,,i, little but the bedstead was left. Just
before this was put up some OF the women
went to spying around and discovered that |
il was infested with bedbugs. This TACT
WAS noised around until 1t reached the anc-
t,ouser. who mounted the box and said:
Words cannot express the poignanoy
Of nv sorrow over the base canard wh'ch
has been put IN circulation in this crowd.
have sold goods in this town for twenty
pine long years, and this is the first IN
s,ancs in which bugs are permitted to step
between me aud the purchasing pubic
Ladies' and gentlemen, if there is bug 10
that bedstead | want to see him. / cannot
and will not believe there is. 1t would be
be q s,auder-a most foul slander-on the
character Of this worthy widow, VINO IL
ahont to remove to the State Of Ohio"
BEING invited to step down and view the
puos for himsel', he made an inspection.
There they were. They were ga'loping IN
and ont and ND and down, and it was no
use to deny the fact.
"Lad,es and gentlemen" said the auc-
} ,;opeer. as he resumed his post, found
hugs dou't exactly remember the Latin
r name for them; but there they are. And
r now let me talk to you as q friend. Bed
0 bups were not made for gaudy show. nor
4 ware thew made for life OF ease. 1t is the
n law of nature that they should inhabi'
{ bedsteads. They can no more go out uudel
r the barn and make living than dog car
o become al eagle and float through space
o The aversion among You to tho insect il
It founded On false principles. HIS Bit
scarcely irritates the sleeper, but it cleanse
and purifss the blood. But for bsdbug
-, .bould all have carbuncles and bsils
I Tbsy keep down warts. They cause mole
d to d;sappear. Give them a chance an
q thew will re enove corns without pain. Th'
10 great"
IN sFifty cents - called an old woman VII
10 membered that she had a remedy
s. home.
"Fifry cents! am offered 80 cents fe
i'd a $40 b.dstead, and was gong to say tt
areat Napoleon always asked for bed Wit
,t bugs in it; am offered 80 cents and y
ps Cesar had his bugs. am"
"One dollar"
Ito "I am offered one dollar and yet Il
noets of Greece immorralized the insect
sst fore you. This widow tells me that 81
RI has not had an ache Of pain since the hr
sh. bug made his appearance. How many
1T Won have read what Homer wrote of then
The What was the foundation of Mozart
us, twelfth mass And yet l."
len 1.-TWO dollars"
the "And yet bear only So. Do you ha
us headache? Are you afflicted with gidt
nsssP Do you have roaring Of tho ear
How are" ...-
<es "Three dollars"
"My friends, let me 60 homo and
nv copy of Paradise Lost and read
mn YOU one short chapter. What did hils
per- says about" s'.#
,on- "Four dollars" s..
lat "Ah, oegin to see that art and cuit'
,el. are not upkuown 10 the audience.
Tbs Alexander tbe Great have boils? Nsve
the one. And Why ?" s#.... t.
and "Fiye dollars" f aa-".
!. D. 81 am bid IS. I would liksto quote
tbe verse from the we'll known Latin poet
race time presses and this bedstead Is sold
y NJ Is. cash on the nail. will now di
more your cultured attention to that cookst
the vi,h a cracked oven. .''-Detrsit Free n