Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-07-08
Advice to Lady Travellers.

The following rules for the regulation
of lady railway passengers are laid
down by the Burlington Ha,Ok-Eye.
l. Be sure you know where YOU want
to 90 before you get on the train.
2. When you purchase your ticket
you will have to pay for it, no use to
tell the ticket agent to 60 charge it and
send the bill to your husband And if
he says the price of the ticket is 1896,
don't tell him you can get one just like
it of the conductor at the other store for
$3.50; he won't believe you, and may
laugh at you.
3. Never travel without money. 1t
requires broad views, liberal education,
keen diScernment aid profound judg-
ment to travel without money. No one
can do this successfully but tramps and
editors.
1. Beware of the commercial trav-
eler.
5. Don't give stranger your ticket
and ask him to go out and check your
trunk. He will usually be only too glad
to do it. And what is more he will do
it, and your trunk will be so etfectualv
checked that it will never catch up with
you again. And then when the con-
ductOr asks for your ticket and you re-
late to him the pleasing little allegory
abSut the stranger and the baggage, he
will look incredulouS and smile down
upon you from half-closed eyes and say
that it is D beautiful romance, but he
has heard it before. And then, YOU
will put UP your jewelry or disembark
at the next station.
6. If you are going three hundred
miles don try to get off the train every
fifteen minutes under the impression
that you are there. If you get there in
twelve hours you will be doing excel
lently.
7. Call the brakeman CONDUCTOR
he has grown proud since he got his
new uniform and it will flatter him.
s. Put your shawl-Strap, bundle and
two paper parcels in the hat rack; hang
your bird-cage to the corner of it, so
that when it drops off it will fall into
the lap of the old gentleman sitting be-
hind you; stand your four house plants
on the window sill; set your luneh-bas-
ket on the seat beside you; fold your
shawls on top of it; carry your pocket
book in one hand and hold your silver
mug in the other; put your two valises
under the seat and hold your handbook
and the rest of your things in your lap.
Then you will have all your baggage
handy and won't be worried or flus-
tered about it when you have only
Twenty-Five seconds in which to change
cars.
8. Address the conductor every ten
minutes. 1t pleases him to have you
notice him. If you can't think of any
new question to ask him, ask him the
same old one every time. Always call
him 6 Say or d" Mister"
10. Pick up all the information you
can while travelling. Open the window
and look forward to see how fast the
engine is going. Then when you get
home you can tell the children about
the big cinder you picked up with your
eve and how nice and warm it was and
what it tasted like.
IL. Don't hang your parasol on the
cord that passes down the middle of the
car. 1t isn't a clothesline. 1t looks
like one, but it isn't.
II. Keep an eye on the passenger
who calls the day after Monday "Chews-
day" He can't be trusted a cars
length.
-. Do not attempt to change $50
bill for any one, if you have only $685.
with you; it can't be done.
IA. If you want nap always lie with
your head projecting over the end of
the seat, into the aisle. Then every
body who goes up or down the aisle
will mash your hat. straighten out your
frizzes and knock off your back hair.
This will keep you from sleeping so
soundly that you will be carried by your
station.