Morning journal and courier., 1880-05-21
ADMITTED DELEGATES.
There was young fellow of Crete, Had such awful corns on his feet,
 That he never just knew
 Which was safest to do, To cut of the corns or his feet.

No wonder the March hair is mad-it gets blown about so.-Cincinnati Commercial
 It is well enough to hit the nail on the head, provided the nail is not the one on the end of your fnger.-Cincinnati Gazette.
 The country editor who publishes dead ed- vertisements will eat hash. He wants some thing to fill up.-New Orleans Picayune.
 young man boasted that he had well stored mind, whereupon young lady mur- mured: What pity we can't find out where he stored it!
 There is said to be no foundation for the report that Mir. Sankey's new hymn, Is Your Lamp Still Burning, Brother? is to be dedi- cated to MT. Edison.-Boston Advertiser.
 Student: The velocity of sound, compared with that of light, is so little that, for exam pie, if you should be shot you would not hear the sound until you were dead for awhile.
 Washington correspondent writes that both Rhode Island Senators are single men and childless. In view of the fact that they are single, their being childless is a grand idea.
 Dr. Hullah the eminent musician, recently tried to play on the trombone. That Hullah blew at one end while there was a hullabaloo at the other is the only fact worth recording. New York Herald.
 would box your ears,' said 6 young lady recently to her stupid and tiresome admirer, if If what?' he anxiously asked If she replied, T could get a box large enough for the purpose
 poor Ioafer on hearing that they charged five dollars day for board in California, said he should go there to live as he wished to get in some place where he could get his board sseharged" to him. He was not particular about the price.
 Jones pronounced the following the other evening after slipping of his alleged tea: : Why is this drink like milk?' Of course nobody could guess, and after he had divulged by saying it was a lack-tea-al fluid, nobody dared to smile. They knew that the land Iady's eyes were upon them.-Boston Tran script
 Time, A. D. 19OO The necessity for church-going and edifces is almost dispensed with The Rev. Dr. Turgid from the cen tral edifice of the Sacred Telephone, breaches every Sunday to five thousand families of his persuasion in the privacy of their homes. The musical adiuncts to the service, vocal and instrumental, are also dispensed by tele- phones, and as waited to the five thousand homes by electricity, each family joins in the hymn. The average attention to service is much greater now than quarter of century since, as the ladies have not each others dresses and bonnets to look at.-New York Graphic.
 The Rev. pr. Eddy, says the Boston Tray eller, told the fOllOWlng story Wltn SuSGo dt the recent pastoral reception to the Rev. pr. Anderson at the South Baptist church, South Boston: An old lady who was somewhat demented attended on his early pastorate. She was constantly railing about the deacons speaking so foolishly in the prayer meeting. The doctor told her not to answer them so spitefully, and, as she somewhat of a l vocalist, he advised her instead of scolding to 1 sing something after one had made very foolish speech, and suggested the following l stanza:
 l ss We're half the breath so yainly spent To heaven in supplication sent" At the next meeting the doctor delivered ar address and sat down with feeling of per feet satisfaction, when instantly the voice oi the old lady was heard sonorously rolling out I the Wor1s of the suggested couplat