Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1880-02-04
Why Aunt Sally Never Got Married.

WI 4ANHO NO"A4J NOFO4 OOG 1Adl14Oui
"Now, Aunt Sally. do please tell US why
you never got married. You know you
said that when you were a girl you were
engaged to minister, and promised you
Aunt, please do"
Well, if ever did see such girls in nv
born days. It's tease, tease from morning
to night You must know all about every
thing you haven no business to know any
thing about. Such inquistive pestiferous
critters as you are When ! was Young.
girls we're different they minded their owl.
business, and didn't 60 sailing around with
whole string of beaux, getting their heads
filled with all kinds of nonsense. never
dared to ask my aunts, married or single,
about any Of their affairs Pretty mess I'd
got III if had. When they offered to tell
me anything of their own accord, kept
my mouth shut and listened Everything
IS different nowadays; young folks have
no respect for their elders. But, as | see
m rot going to have any peace till tell
you, Why Just listen, and don't let me hear
word out of one of your mouths till | get
through. WE'LL you see when | was about
seventeen years old, was living in Utica,
In the State of New York. Though | say it
myesf, was quite a good looking girl,
then, and had several beauX. The one that
took my fancy most was young minister,
a very promising young man, and remark
| ably plous and steady. He thought great
deal OF me, and | kind of took fancy to
HIM, and things ran on till we we're engaged.
Ono evening he came to mel remember
1t as II 1t were only yesterday. When he
came INTO the parler where | was sitting
| alone, he came up to ue and-but, now,
| pshaw ! girls, dent like to tell the rest. .
ION, Aunt Sally, for mercy'S sake don t
stops tell Us what he did"
Well, as ! said, lie came up to me, and
put his arms around me, and rather Rugged
me, when | got excited and somewhat frus
trated; 1t was long time ago, and don't
know but what | might have Rugged him
back little. Then | felt-but Just now
clear out, every one OF YOU, shan't tell
you any more"
Goodness, gracious, no, Aunt Sally.
Tell US how you felt. Didn't you feel good?
And what did lie do next?'
"Ol such tOrments as you are | was
like any other girl, and pretty soon | pre-
| tended to be mad about it, and pushed him
away, though | wasn't mad bit. You
| must know that the house where | lived
was Ga enc Of the back streets OF the town
There were glass doors in the parlor, which
| opened right out over the street, and nc
! balcony nor anything Of the Kind in front
Of the house. As it was in the Summer
season these doors were open and the SHUT
tiers drawn to. stepped back little from
him, and when he edged up close
| pushed him back again. pushed harder
| than intended to, and don't you think
| girls, the poor fellow lost his balance and
| fell through one of the doors into tho street
\ es, it is 50. AS he fell gave scream
and caught him-hut declare won't tel
anything more. I'm going to leave TIE
room.
No, no, Aunt Sally. How did you
catch him? Did it hurt him much -
Well, if | must, | must He fell head
first and as he was going ! caught him 10y
the legs of his trousers. held on for
minute and tried to pull him back but hi,
suspenders gave way, and the poor young
man fell clear out of his pantaloons into
whole parcel of ladies and gentlemen
! passing along the street.
Ga, Aunty, Aunty, Lordy, Lordy !"
There, that's right; squall and ggglC
as much as you want to. Girls that can
hear about little thing like that without
tearing around Jhe foori, ana he.he.lng lr
such way, don't know enough to come
home when it rains. A nice time the mar
who marries one Of you will have, won't he
Catch me telling you anything again"
:" But Aunt Sally, what became of him
did you see him again?''
! "NS, the moment he touched the grounG
bio got up, and left that place in terrible
hurry, | tell you it was sight to b.
remembered to see how that man did run
| lie sent me a note few days afterward
saying that the engagement must be broker
oil, as he could never look me in the fac,
again after what had happened. lie wen
out West, and believe he is preaching on
in Illinois. But lie never married | fel
very had about it for long time, for h,
was real good man, and I've often though
to myself that we should always have beer
happy i lis suspenders hadn't gircn way."