Morning journal and courier., 1880-09-10
A Disreputable Linen Duster.

I hurriedly called for my linen duster, (ever since my uncle in California left me $500, ,00O always wear linen duster when I travel; I feel as though I could afford it, and society rather demands it of me, and climbed into the train and waited for it to start. By and by reached into the capacious pockets of that duster, and in an idle, vagrant kind of moment, drew forth Police Gdzette, radiant with the usual astonishing display of all kinds of stockings, in all manner of attitudes save proper ones, with female figures attached to them. Now I never buy and I never read that journal, and was amazed to find it in my pocket. went down again and brought up couple of beer tickets. Then l raked again and found piece of billiard chalk, sew eral grains of coffee and bit of lemon peel It seemed to me that my ordinary well-behav ed and exemplary duster had evidently been out with the boys last night, instead of re- posing in the quiet of the coat room. Curi- ous to know just how far this iniquity went I reached into another pocket and found Q corkscrew three dice, revelng in the luxuri- ous affiuence of three aces apiece and poker deck containing four kings of spades. I was ashamed of that duster. Not only had it been out with the boys, but it had fallen among thieves, and was itself the meanest thief of the lot and unworthy to be called one of the boys. I was almost afraid to examine the last pocket, but finally sent down the grap- pie and up it came with whiskey flask, very
 
 began to wish the train would start so that might watch my opportunity and throw that duster with all it's manifold iniquities on it's wicked head, into the river. I stealthilv felt under the bottle and found a pair of brass knuck1es That settled it. My duster was irrevoeably bad. would wear 1t as far as the first river or the first tunnel, and l would never wear it no farther. Would the train ever start :?
 Just then gentle hand touched my shou1- der I started guilty and looked up to see policeman. If I had been arrested on any charge, theft, burglary, murder, sheep-steal- ing, treason, anything, I should have given right in and gone along. I hadn't enough confidence in myself to deny anything. But when looked up I saw kind, tender face, and I heard the pleasant voice of a Methodist clergyman.
 T beg your pardon" he said, ''but I fear you and have exchanged dusters. I only noticed the change this moment, when I found some letters and lecture tickets bear ing your name in the pockets. The mistake is my own, have no doubt. am so very careless and our dusters are so nearly alike"
 I was so shocked that didn't know what to say nor where to look, but I had just enough sense left to say yes, that it was my duster he held in his hands. That couldn't find my own in the coat room, and took the only one that was left And then gave the good, innocent man the villainous old sin dyed Philistine that had been oorrupting my morals all the morning.
 And then, to sit there and never look around but just listen to that mans exclam- ations of horror. First he found the billiard chalk He didn't know what that was so he only said ssH'm!" Then he found the coffee grains-but he didn't exactly understand them, and he just said Hal" Then he fish ed out the corkscrew and he seemed to com prehend that in general way, for he said hat S%a 0f afo aI1t that elicited an encore from the entire audience. The poor mans 'sMerciful heavens ]" that greeted the appearance of the whiskey flask was drowned in perfect torrent of applause and wild cries of 'sGo on, go on, and More V And when he pulled out the Police GGzette and the brass knucks, he fell back into his seat with an audible gasp of horror, and the whole car full of people just arose as one man and yelled and howled and trampied on thelr hats and wanted to get our and tear the pot tom out of the car and throw it into the She mango river to express their feelings nev- CT saw so great enthusiasm over any little thing. And the fainting clergyman came to me, holding the disreputable, character de- stroying old gallows bird of a duster in his trembling hands
 ssSir, he said, with patient rebuke and pit iful appeal mingling in his tremulous utter ance tsir-"
 But steeled my heart against him be- cause was as innocent as himself, and it was the pulpit and the rostrum for it.
 ''Go way" I said, s'don't bring it around heret Don't you point that thing at me! Faint mine! You claimed it yourself Don't dare to charge me with it. Throw it under the car Burn it up! I won't have it Don't you dare''-
 But the clergyman held it out toward me and raised his right hand appealingly to heaven Just before the tableau began to tell with the jury, however, the porter came pant ing down to the train. He had an innocent looking duster in his hands with package of Sunday school papers bu1ging in one pocket, and Moody hymn book hattened in the oth CT.
 stGent,men, he said, ''de barkeeper sent me down and he says as how somebody has don run away wid his duster, and he want it sent back or he make it pow'ful lively for de man what took it of he have to come after it hisseIf
 That settled It. The clergyman took his own ulster and gave up the robe of unright- eousness to the ambassador. The man on the woodbox made generally consolatory re- mark about the false and fatal strength of cireumstantial evidence. The band played Benny, come back to the farm," and the train pulled out.