The Osceola times., 1880-10-09
WAYS ef THE woRLB.
AEEASsAs


may be aid 10 have zn kIeesT ST.
DrK1xo q iess0n % the lie q King
DAVID a cizsz n yO1ng glfis sas asked
swho kiils1 The glzfsfs' raere1foI @i'e
replied 'yack.7
sAkr you lost, NY little fellow" s9<ed
4 9entieuizn of > fyuf-yezr DId one Gay
in Rochester. 40" hs sobbrec b. Ysp.Fs
"t-51: r,-sry mother b.
gxw ORLEANS handled OEe-thlre o;
fhe entire cOfion crop p-osDoea " ne
Cni;eS stz;es las year. Ssg fofk re-
esiyed one-Gi;b II the crOSl.
Tgs oonzreeztlon II Rev. John Jzspeg,
Al RieinOnd. has grDEn ~ isrss ul1t .
Siyis5on is ~ be sfniezbly male. Bro
Jzsy,rr l. the re&sOner who Gszlnfziris
thai 4'fl1e sun Do u30ye.'
THs supreme deiiyhi Of tie average
bOrse-csr eOndsetoy l. % have sJlDe
grandmother u q BTJyet st0p iais sEifi-
nsSying car going ngrttNzri., y inq1
1if Will take her % Boston Hi2iii4nfls.
wHEs . young man cares more for
base ball than fDf business BE- shows .
uezknezs in bic upper stOry. The les
thing bis frier De can Do i 10 crack y
open little and pour IN few grains d
common sense.
Orr Chinese population is gTe4t On
pixeoas and chickens. But HOT sing
xzys scs.e Of the chickens three year,
oIi) are 'sOughee-fOIgiiee" Bus
weeks cooking generally reiuees the
age from three years t0 one.
scEsE, a o0urz Oi Law; tTizl for man.
slaughter il going On; Pat In the witness
box Counsel for the prIsOnsr-Did yO1
eee the prisoner Al the Tar knox down
the dsoeasedY P4i--So, your honor; be
was alive when ! Zee him knocked
down.
Ors Calcutta trzJe T. not extensive al
the present time. Steam explains the
matter. Goods 70 10 England by them.
times when IzD days are not employed
10 DO given thing when It can b. done
In 25. Not much.
THE meanesi Inzn has occurred again.
He lives In slilfapb, y. J., aud stole the
collection which bad been taken - pay
the expense " a Temperance orator, and
sef up the drinks for bsf crowd a. the
hotel with the money. There il orig
nsIity about such rascaiiiy a. that.
yEKx0sT lightning rod agents recIte
one Of Joseph Cooks TEXTURES t0 a farm.
or, and then ak him II that isn't con-
yincing argument in proof 81 the state
menf that he needs the rods. And the
farmer always sIrrenders, IL be can't get
q chance 10 break forthe woOds.--Basfgp
Pod.
INSURANCE AGEgT-"YOu ought 10 in
sure your life on account Oi your family"
II know all about that. You 90 on pay
ing money 10 the company for = year.,
and then the company plays out"
"Yes; but my dear s1r, you may have the
Inck 10 drop dead the very day you pay
your first premium"
ArsTnAs paBdees 20 b Aussee,
where there are not only waters and
baths. but a physician who staryes hit
patients. He gives them an ounce Of
bread and q cup u broth in the morning
and nothing else during the p hours.
Plethora and rush of blood 10 the head
are thereby cured in six weeks.
A HuxoARIAs officer named szerkr-
I0esky swan across the Platten sea.
The distance was 20 English miles, and
the time IL bours. The swimmer did
not suffer from exhaustion, and ire-
quently conversed with the occupants oi
a boat which ACCOMPANIED him. The
only reireshmeDt taken was a little
wine.
The family Of Franklin Kaniner, liv-
ing near WOmelslOrf Pa, we're aroused
from their slumbers by the screams Of
their four-months' '-old child. To their
horror they found a rat biting the babe
In the throat. The rat, hearing the ap-
preaching footsteps, Jumped from the
cradle and escaped. The child died
from conyulsiOns and loss Of blood
AncnDgAcos srscLAR tells Of an eccen-
trio Scotch nobleman Of the beginning Of
this century. who, dining at house
where the dinner was extremely bad,
forgot that be was not at home, and
greatly apolOgizcd 10 his fellow guests
for the badness Of the rcpast, remarking
that he fupposed the cook was drunk
again and that the scullion had dressed
the dinner.
A BAKER, whose loves had been grow
ing small by degrees and beautifully
less" when going his round 10 serve his
customers, stopped at the door Of one
and knocked, when the lady within ex-
claimed, "Who's thcrcP and was an.
swered, "Tbe baker" "What do you
want7" "To leave your bread" "Well,
you needn't make such fuss about IT;
put II through the kcyhole," was her
reply.
A YoRTusE-TELLRR was arrested in
Paris and carried before the tribunal OF
correctional police. "You know how 10
read fortunes2" said a man of great wit,
but rather fond Of a joke for a magistrate.
81 do, sir" said the sorccrcr. "In this
case" said the President, ''you know the
Judgment we intend 10 pronounce?"
"Ccrtainly." "What will happen to
you?" Nothing" "You are sure Of
ihat7' "Yes; you will acquit me"
"Acquit your There is no doubt about
IT," "Why7" Because, sir, il it had
been your intention 10 condemn me, you
would not have added irony to mis-
fortune" The President, disconnected,
turned TO his brother judges, and the
sorcerer was discharged.
A woxAs in Basle, Switzerland, re.
Gently lost her life by falling from a
tight rope stretched 90 feet in the air,
and for some moments 1t seumed proba-
BILE that man who was performing with
her would share her tate. She was pass
ing over the rope on velOcipede, from
which trapeze was suspended, on which
the man performed. Rendered careless.
probably by the frequent repetition Of
the passage, she bent down 10 adjust
strap with her right hand, lost her bal
ance, and In a moment the machine
turned over, sending her headlong 10
the ground. The velocipedc was itseli
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