The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1880-12-24
GRIM RUMoR.
How Democrat Had Fun at Funerai-ken
Speech at Republican Jubilee.

=
At the Republican jollitcation in Clarin-
da, Iowa, recently. Mr.. L. b. Cake, young
Democrat Df Page county was observed In
the audience, and, being dragged out, deliy-
cred himself as follows: ar sr -..-a-.r g.i
ri FELLOW CITIZENS: A man usually at
tends his own funeral, but it is not expected
that he should talk great deal. KNEW the
funeral ceremonies would 90 on without me,
SO 1 concluded to bring in the body. Laugh
teri BUD Ii takes a great deal Of grace to
sustain a man who helps furnish the corpse
for an occasion like this. [Laugnter,l No
body butfa Democrat could do It. IL is GER
tain that mo one but Democrat has hadany
chance 10 try ii for the last twenty years.
lDisappointfnent is the modern Democratic
birthrixirt and mourning bis normal condi-
tion. They took out patent for disaster 20
years 90, but II has never been infinged.
The pslent run out. in 1879 and they have
Just - Ii renewed. Loud applause.l
Looking over the landscape OF the last 20
years behold acres and acres of busted
hopes, cords and cords of disgrnntleda ambi-
tions, barrels and barrels Of unayailing
tears, oceals and oceans strewn With the
wrecks of phantom ships once laden with
Democratic delusions.1 Disappointment Is
an anchor to the Democratic soul both sure
and steadfast. Continued applause.l ....s
Leaves have one time TO fall .....
And flowers to wither, at the north winds
breath, '"0' ~ ''l'@ E..
| And TO set, but all, D Democrat, ..
| Thou hast all time for thy own death!
| / might say with Shylock, suferance, yea,
smfer-ance Is the badge Of our tribe. Icould
give you $40 reasons for that. Alawyer Of.
fered a judge sixteen reasons why his client
was not In court First, he was dead. The
judge told him he might omit the other Is
The first reason of my 329 is we, lacked the
voters. u,aughter.l You will allow me to
omit the other 1923. But, I could give you
$40 reasons. John Kelly did It with his lit
tie racket. Wade Hampton's mule broke
his leg instead of his neck, and Ben Hill
wasn't born a mute. English had forecloset
his mortgages. and we couldn't redeem
Then .r..- ..- ....-...
'Tis the South that can supply
| Solid comforts while we die.
| loud laughter.l In some States the Green
back party fell through crack In their plat
form and crippled us. But Democracy still
lives. It's like the mnls;it never dies
But, unfortunately, like the mule, while
lives It Is forever throwing its riders. ZAP
lplarse.l e ' .
II bucked Greeley Off and kicked him u
1872. Tiiden stuck on till he passed unde
| the wire, but there was SO much daylight be
1 tween him and this Democratic quadrupe
4 that the Judges ruled him out, although he iIa
4 his feet In the stirrups. This year we gut
splendid send off and might hsye won, bu
4 the donkey was stricken down In Indian
with (g)Landers. We close this chapte
! Of history with the hopeit may be continue
:. IN our next. We accept the defeat moi
cheefrily because Of the magnaninot
4 manner I'M which You take the VIC o:y~fsW
1 take it every four years. 1t is astandin
:, prescription. It might well be- called a
: auadrennial ipecaeg 1t works up befo'
!, election and works down as the return
!, come in. q We shank you for the unanino'
, way In which you have turned out to o'
funeral. We congratulate yon on the ma
niicent and imposing grandeur Of the obs
/. auies. [Long continued applause]