The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-08-03

ng out here for my health 70
1'HR Latin term for cod-llver oil is
'oleum iacoris aselli." A doctor pre-
'cribed it for an old lady the other day,
md, as usual, in his prescription alb
)ruviated the terms, which read, "R.
Die. Jcc. AS, Cz ill.," A friend Of the
'ld lady congl atulnted her upon her
'estoraLion to health, when she said,
Yes, 1t was that beautiful medicine,
,he oil of iackass, that brought me to
my feet again"
"WoULDN'T you like to have bow ?"
laid the bold young archer as they
down the field, and she mnr-
INJURED eyes," and the absorbed archer
said, "What kind OF bow would you
prefer ?" She qulvered little rs she
replied archly, II think | should pre-
tor yew," and then the young man took
It In, and although he was an arrow
,hosted youth he went to tho target
md hcavcd a BULBS sigh.
ONE hour after an cold master" had
painted the namc of patent medicine
on y big rock, COW came along, licked
1t off, and died before sundown. When
tho simple name of a medicine kills a
COW, human beings want to beware Of.
tho stuff Itself. A COW was never killed
by licking the name of patent medicine
m newspaper. and no other kind can
be recommended.
a SOLDIER was sentenced, for desert
ng, to have his ear cut Off. After
the ordeal he was escorted
,ut Of the courtyard to the tune of The
lsogue's March, He then turned and
N mock dignity thus addressed the
musicians: "Gentlemen, thank you,
but | have no car tor music.''
lisgustcd customer in a Washington
"here's an old moustache
comb in this pot-pic." "Nevcr mind,
'ir," said the napkin tllrtcr, calmly.
Just throw It under the tn bic; 1T Ia an
I'D ono"
AN ENORMOUS TRAFFIC.
bohsts that SIS, ,746 bottles of fCARBoL1Sa
laye becn sold within the last six
This shows that the great
irmy OF baldhoads will soon be reduced
o corporaPs guard.
How many men take the fatal step in
life with the idea that they are gottIng
IN angel, and soon after marriage find
hat they have nothing but a woman.
"MERCY!" exclaimed an old lady
lpon first seeing IN engraving Of the
passage Of the Red Sea by the children
II Israel: "mcrCy! what fa milv the
nan had! !"
a YOUNG follow in Brooklyn tried to
Brooklyn widow by appear
ng as her husbands ghost. lie Is
lead. We believe 1t was q flat iron,
1t accomplishcs ITS object so quickly
'nd so satisfactorily that it's praises are
II tho mouth of every mother.-.Wo
eter to DR.. Bulls Baby Syrup. the re-
ncdy for children's diseases. Sold for
% cents.
"ONcE upon a time" man met an old
woman In an English town driving
evcral asses. 'Adicu, mother Of asses
aid he. 'Adieu, my son. was the old
reply.
THERE arc three kinds of hair: Bang
"a hair, baked hare and hair parted In
he middle. The first is tender, tho
econd more tender, the last bartender.
TWO deaf mutes were married tho
,ther day In Chcnango county. N. Y.
10 Is pleasing to think that no harsh
words Will ever pass b"tween them.
FEdETlNK is acknowledged by Ell
classes OF people tC be the best and most
'eliable blood purifier In tho world.
CHARITABLENEss and base ball
hould te boundlcss.
TWO heads are better than one. but
'ot ON the same pin.
DID you ever see pretty girl with a
eat waist basque it?
IT is never too hot for billiard balls
0 freeze.
BowLED robbcry--Cheating at ton
ins.
TIE pupil of tho eye has to DO lashed.
IHE naked truth-A bear story.
e...n............~...
TREAT PR0MPTLy--Cramps, Diarrhcea. Asiatic
noIera Snna ~ and md all Bowel Affections with Dr.