The Osceola times., 1880-10-30
WAYS or THE WORLD

THE champion croquet player of New
Jersey is a servant giri WITHOUT
beau.
A LONDON lady appears in the surf az
A French watering place in q tringed
tunic, crimson tights and ankle brace
lets.
AN $500 diamond ring 1oated away
from Lafayette, Indiana. a child iea
it to the string of a toy balloon ana le'
20.
MIR. WALT WHITMAN is credited w,tl
the intention OF giving to the bfItish
public his estimate of the Engllsh poets
of the present century.
THERE are hundreds ol entertaining
writers who would be good historians II
they did not know SO many things that
have never happened.
TIE sun has crossed the equator and
all prudent families will take in their
clothes lines and put their tubs where
they will catch the most wafer.
CALIFORNIA has grapes enough to make
$4,000 900 gallons OF wine, but they VIII
add 4,0O0,000 gallons OF water and never
feel a sting OF conscience.
IT takes two fellows to assist one
uirl to the top of Mount Ascutney,
and somehow the girls are all crazy TO
see the view from the peak.
TuK largest and most elegant residence
in the Connecticut Valley has just been
completed at Leeds, Mass. Tor Luc'us
Dimock, of the Corticelli silk Mills.
Bon TooMBs says of Alex. stephens
that he has so increased in weight that
he is no longer afraid to buy a toy bal
loon and carry it home himself.
TIE latest person to rise on the hori-
xon of British society us a professional
beauty" is Mrs. Cropper, an American.
The London swells rave over her.
Mrs. ]. ]. AsroR drives the other wo-
men at Newport wild by wearing $780,
600 worth OF diamonds when she goes
out with her knitting to spend the alter
noon.
The Marquis of Butte intends TO erect
q Roman Catholic monastery for English
monks on his property at Jerusalem,
and plans for an oratory have been pre-
pared, the building is TO cost about $50
600.
SALvINI, the Italian tragedian, has for
many years taken lessons in English in
order to be able TO interpret Shakespeare
in the original text; but he says he de-
spairs of ever playing in English on the
stage.
"WouLD you like to wash your hands
before dinner?' asked the host, pointing
to the conveniences. mo, certainly
not" responded the guest. Great Scott,
man, do you suppose eat with my
fingers
SuKEY HART, colored woman aged
140 years, has Just died in Kinney, Tex.
As proof of her great age it is stated
that she nursed her mistress, now rs
years old, after her own sixteenth child
was born.
'MAy we get married? Please wire
consent Immediately, as ceremony Will
be performed this evening anyhow"
was the telegram sent by n runaway
pair of Wisconsin lovers to their anx-
ions parents.
SAYS the Syracuse Herald: "rhe morn
ing wrappers which ladies now wear in
their chambers are made OF light
figured foulards without lining" What
sort of a man is the editor of the HeraidP
--Boston Post.
MASHED Masher wants 10 know il we
don't consider Mary Anderson the pret-
test girl in America. As we are rather
attentive 10 girl worth S400 600 who
keeps track of what we say, we reply
that we do not consider Mary the pret-
tiest.
SCENE in the park (dramatis persona
a courting couple:) ais 90 happy, little
ootsy wootsy?" She: "Oh, SO happy.
Is tops nopsy happy, too?" He: "Oh,
so happy" She: "What would topsy
nopsy do il there were no ootsy wootsy
in the world?" Grufl voice of man in
the bushes: "Snopsy flopsy would be
hugging some other girl, that's whatW
Tableau.