The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1880-05-12
miscellaneous.
%
ROCK BIER.
The Effect Of "Forty Per Cent" on Beer
Drinks.
Nashville American.

Nashville American.
Once year Gambrinus applies a
beerostatic pressure test of high
power to the boilers of his faith
ful followers. When the genial
Spring times comes on and a gen.
tie thirst demands cooling bev-
erages, certain pictured goats, of
a gay and festive turn, announce
the time and indicate to the ini-
tiated that the period Of testing
the capacity of boilers has ar
rived, and every good disciple of
Gambrinus knows that the god Of
beer has prepared the mild, but
potent, book bier. No true dis
ciple of Gambrinus ever fails TO
apply this test to himself once a
year, and it is supposed that most
Of them pass safely through the
ordeal, since they are seen again
few days after the book bier
season has passed by, perhaps
worn, q little sprung by the
severity Of the test, but all right
for another year of devotion to
the malt god.
The book bier is always ac-
companled by picture Of festive
and frolicsome goats, but what
the goats have to do with the
beer is not discoverable save by
the initiated, who do not divulge
it. Perhaps riding the goat is a
part of the test, or perhaps the
tested disciple feels like be has
been goat riding, or nayhap be
feels like a flock of those festive
animals were, next day, executing
the sailors hornpipe on the top Of
his head. Certain it is, goats,
painted in all sorts Of impossible
colors ard positions, and book
bier are conconitant, why we
have no means of knowing.
Book bier is said to be 40 per
centum more potent than ordinary
lager-bler or schenk- k-bier-which
we take to be a variety of poker
beer. The faithful worshipper of
mbrinus who knows bis calibre
and carries on his daily worship
by carrying regular consign-
ment, is suddenly lifted 40 per
cent. by the horns Of the potent
buck. Just think Of what 40 per
centum stronger means. No dis
count on the amount of beer for
it's force Of character. Not at all,
never; buta very heavy interest on
the hereafter, and q powerful aug
mentation Of the wrath to come.
It means 40 per cent. more ways
home, 40 per cent. more moons
hung in the heavens. 1t was
Burns wasn't it
"The moon wi glintin' light did glover
The distant cummock hills out over;
To count her horns wi g. my power
I set myself,
But whether she had three or four
could nae tell"
But then Burns was nae tou,
but just had plenty Instead OF
being 40 per cent. beyond his Or
dinary gauge, he was not quite
half seas over.
But 40 per cent. more OF sacrl-
fetal offering than the disciple OF
Gam brinus is accustomed to offer
up is quite a serious thing. 1t is
40 per cent. more of a forest Of
lamp-posts on the corner through
which the home ward-bound way
farer vainly seeks to find a path
40 per cent. more gas lamps re-
volving around the corner, be-
dazzling and bewildering, and 40
per cent. more of gas lights, ex.
tending down the street in ba-
chanalian procession, a long line
ofinebriate lights, clrcumvoluting,
circumgyrating, dancing jigs and
reels, winding and Turing ONO
per cent. more ofpavements to be
walked on-4O per cent. more of
front steps to climb-4O per cent
more times than usual-4O per
cent. more key holes where there
was always an unnecessary redu-
plication-4O per cent. more OF con-
traction in a doorway never large
enough for safe entrance-4O per
cent. more of hat racks, and coal