The weekly clarion., 1880-06-16
ONE OF THE LINERS
A Woman Who Thought She Had
Just Grounds for Divorce.
Manchester \. H. Mirror.1


| tinged With gray, and eyes IN which CLEANED
| the fires of q determination not TO be easily
baked. She walked into Major Huse',
office, and requested private interview
and having obtained it, and satisfied hersell
that the law students were not listening 4;
a key hole, said slowly, solemnly and i'm
pressively;
81 want a divorce"
"What for? I supposed you had one Of
the best OF husbands, said the Major
Il 7'pose that's what everybody thinks.
but il they knew what We suffered in ten
years they'd wonder l hadn't scalded him
years ago | ought TO, but for the sake Of
the young ones I've borne it and said moth
Ing. I've told him, though, what he might t
depend on, aud now the times come.
| won't stand il, young ones or no young
ones; I'll have divorce, ana If the neigh-
| bors want 10 blab themselves hoarse about it
| they can, for | won't stand it another day"
But what's the matter? Don't your
husband provide for you Isn't he true 10
you? Don't ne treat you kindly - pur-
sued the lawyer.
| We get victuals enough, and I don't
/ know but he's true and kind Is men in
/ general, and he's never knocked none of Us
down. | wish he had, then I'd get him into
! Jail and know where he was nights" retort-
/ ed the women.
Then what's your complaint against
| him ?'
| "Well, if you must know, he's one of them
/ plaguey jiners."
| "A what p
"A jiner-one Of them pesky fools that's
always jIning something. Their can't moth
! ing come along that's dark and sly and hid
! den, but he'll jine it. Ii anybody should
! get up society to burn his house down,
he i Jlne IL just as soon he could get in,
and if they had To pay TO get in, he'd 90 all
! "a "a In
than two months before he jined the Know
Nothin's. We lived on a farm then, and
every Saturday night he'd come tearin' in
before supper, grab a tIstfI of mut-calSes, and
90 Oft knawin' EN-, and that's the last I'd
see of him till morning. And every other
night he'd roll and tumble in his sleep, and
h0ller, Put none but Americans on guard
| George Washington and on rainy days he'd
go out into the corn-barn and jab at a pic-l
ture of the Pope with an old bayonet that
was there. | ought to have put my foot down
then but he fooled me so with his lies about
the Pope's coming to make all Yankee girls
marry Irishmen, and to eat up all the ba-
bies that warn't born with a cross on their
foreheads, and l let him so on, and encour-
aged him in it.
Then he lined the Masons P'raps YOU
know what them be, but | don't 'cept they
think they're the same kind that built Solo
mons Temple, and took care of his concu-
bnes; and of all the darned nonsense and CAB
about worshipful mas and squares and com
passes and sich, that we had in the house for
the next SIX months you never see the beat.
And he's neyed outgrowed it nuther. What
do You think of 4 man, Squire, that'll dress
hIsseif IN a white apron, bout big enough
for a monkeys bib, and 90 marching up and
down, and making motions and talking the |
foollshest lingo at picture of George Wash |
lngtOn IN a green jacket, and truss on his |
stomach Amt he loonytick? Well, that's |
my Sam, an I've stood it as long as Pm |
goiu' to-"
''The next lunge the fool made was into |
the odd Fellows. | made it warm for him |
when he came home and told me he'd jined |
them; but he kinder pacifed me by telling |
me that they had a sort of branch show that
took in women, and he'd get me in As soon
as he found ont how to do it. Well, one |
night he come home and said I'd been pro-
posed, and somebody had biack-balled me.
Did it hisself, of course. Didn't want me
round knowing of his goings on. OF course |
he didn't, and | told him So"
'Then he jined the Sons of Matter
Didn't say nothing to me about it, but
sneaked off one night, pretendiT he'd got to
sit up with sick Odd Fellow and I'd never
found it out only he came home looking like a
man that had been through threshing ma
achine, and | wouldn't do a thing for him
till he owned up. And it's gone from bad to
worse and from WuS to wusses, inin this
and that and tother till he's Worship Min
lister of the Masons, and Goddess of Hope of
the Odd Fellows, and Sword Swalower of
the Finnigans, and Virgin Cerus of the
Grange, and Grand Mogul of the Sons of In
dolence, and Two-Edged Tomahawk Of the
United Order of Black Men, and Tale Bear
er of the Merciful Manikins, and Skipper Of
the Guild of Caratrine Columbus, and Big |
Y
Passer of the Reform Club, and Chief Bu-
ger of the Irish Machinists, and Purse Keep
er of the Order of Canadian Conscience,
and Double Barrelled Dictator of the
Knights of the Brass Circles, and Standard
Bearer of the Royal Archangels, and Sub
lime Porte Of the Onion League, and Cham
bermaid of the Celestial Cherubs, and Puis-
SAINT Potentate of the Petrifed Pig Stiekers,
and the Lord only knows what else. I've
borne it and borne it, hopin' he'd get 'em
all jined after a while, but 'tain't no use
and when he'd got into new one, and been
made Grand Guide Of the Nights of Horror,
| told him I'd quit; and | will"
Here the Major interrupted, saying
''WelI, your husband is pretty well initia-
ted, that's fact; but the Court will hardly
call that good cause for a divorce. The
most of the societies you mention are COM
posed of honorable men, and have excellent
regulations. Many of them, though called
lodges, are relief associations and mutual in
surance companies, which if your husband
should die, would take care of you, and
would not see you suffer if you were sick"
"See me suffer when L m sick Take care
Of me when he's dead Well, l guess not. I
can take care Of myself when he's dead, and,
if | can't, can get another There plenty
Of 'em. And they needn't bother themselves
when I'm sick, either. If | want to be sick
and suffer it, none of their business, especi-
sick because of their carryins' on. And you
needn't try and make me believe it's all
right, either. | know what it is to live
with man that jines 50 many lodges that
be don't never lodge at home, and signs his
name, Yours truly, Sam Smith, NJ. NJ, |.
0. 0. F., K. 0. B., X. of F., p. of H., r.
A. H. L. l. p, K. of X, \. c., L. E. T., II.
E. R., Y. Y. L., etc"
ooh, that's harmless amusement" re-
marked Mr.. Huse.
She looked him square in the eye and
said: 4 believe you are a jiner yourself"
He admitted that he was to certain ex-
tent and she rose and said, II wouldn't have
thought it. A man like you, Chairman of
a Sabbath school and Superintendent of the
Republicans It's enough to4nake woman
take pisen. But ! don't want anything to
do of you. want a lawyer that don't be-
long to nobody nor nothin'." And she boil
ted out Of the Office.
ALoNG-wINDED LAWYER lately defended
a criminal unsuccessfully, and during the
trial the judge recei we'd the following note