Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1880-09-22
A TERRIBLE DISEASE.
LIMBuRdER cHEEsE-ITs DEADLY EFFECT.

Probably themeanest trick that was
ever played on white man, was play.
cd last week in this city, and the fact
that there is no vigilance committee
here is the only reason the perpetrators
OF the trick are alive. A business man
had Just purchased Il new Stiff hat, and
he went into a saloon with half dozen
friends TO fit the hat on his head.
They all took beer, aud passed around
the hat so all could see IL, One of the
meanest men that ever held n country
office went to the bar tender, and had
q thin slice of limburg cheese cut of,
and when the party were looking at
the irescoed ceiling through beer glass
es, this wicked person slipped the
cheese under the sweat leather of the
hat, and the man put it on and walked
out, The man who owned the hat is
one of your nervous people, who is al
ways complaining Of being sick, and
who feels as though some dreadful dis
ease was going to take possession of
him and carry him off, He went back
to his place Of business, took off his hat
and laid it on the table and proceeded
to answer some letters. He thought
he detected a smell, and when his part
ner asked him if he did. A clerk said
il was evident somebody's feet needed
washing. The man turned pale, and
said he guessed he would 60 home.
lie met man on the sidewalk who
said the air was full of miasma, and in
the street car the man who sat next
to him moved away to the other end
OF the car, and asked him If he had Just
come from Chicago. The man with
the hat said not; when the stranger
said they were having a good deal of
small pox there, and he guessed he
would get out and walk, and he pulled
the bell and jumped of. The cold
perspiration broke out on the forehead
OF the man with the new hat and he
took it of TO wipe his forehead, and the
whole piece OF cheese seemed to roll
over and breathe and the man got the
full benefit of it and came near fainting
away. He got home, and his wife met
him and asked what was the matter, He
said he believed modification had set in,
and she took one Whit as he took off his
hat, and said she should think it had.
"Wher edid you get into it p said she
"Get into what2" said the man, al
have not got into anything, but sOme
deadly disease has got hold Of me"
disease that smelled like that had got
hold Of him, and was going to be
: chronic, he ielt that he would be a
burden to himsolffhe lived very long
She got his clothes of, soaked his feet
in mustard water, and he slept. The
hat was lying on the center table, and
the children would come in and get a
smell Of it, and look at each other with
reproachful glances, and go out and
play. The man slept and dreamed
that a smallpox flag was hung in front
of his house, and that he was riding in
butcher wagon to the pest house.
The wife sent for a doctor, and when
the man Of pills arrived, she told him
all about the case. The doctor picked
up the patients hat, tried it on and
got q sniff. He said the hat was
picked before it was ripe. Then the
doctor and wife held post mortem
examination of the hat and found the
limburger Few and short were the
prayers they said. They woke the
patient to prepare his mind for the
revelation that was about to be made
The doctor asked HIM if his worldly
affairs were in satisfactory condition.
lie gasped and said that they were.
The doctor asked him If he had made
his will, He said that he had not, but
that he wanted a lawyer sent at once.
The doctor asked him if he felt as
though he was ready to shuttle off
The man said he had always tried to
lead different life, and had tried to
do as he would be done by, but that
, he might have made misdeal in some
{ way and he would like to have a min
, ister sent for to take an account Of
stock
Then the doctor brought to the bed
, side the hat, opened up the sweat
{ leather and showed the dying mar
/ what it was that smelled So and told
him he was as well as any man. The
patient pinched himself to see if he
was alive, and jumped out of bed and
. called for his revolver, and the doctor
couldn't keep up with him on the way
d. to town. The last we saw of the odor
, ferrous citizen, he was trying TO bribC
/ the bartender to tell him which one o
those pelicans it was that put tha
. slice of cheese in his hat lining
f Peck'S Sun.