davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
EeEfaag Store GaEEsi0sffieSs

A man recently stepped into a drug store
and said to the clerk, with the confident
air of one who knew exactly what he
wanted:
"Got any roach powder?1
"Oh, yes!o was the bland reply. The
apothecalty threw open a glass case, and
Immediately placed upon the counter in
front of his customer bottle of ''Sure
Death to Cocl1roaches."
s'Tell me how it works %
"Certainly. You take a pinch of the
powder between the thumb and finger,
hold it down near the crevice, and give it
puf1-s5. It'll be sure to kill 'em.''
'sKill EN-! Heavens! The powders for
my old woman. Kill 'em? Not muchn'
and the cid man shook his head.
Inquiry developed the fact that it was
RocheIlei not roach powder, that had been
recommended for the cold woman,' and
the correct article was soon supplied.
A reporter, hearing of this adventure,
asked the druggist if many such cases, re-
sulting from ignorance or carelessness,
came under his notice.
"They occur almost daily was the re-
ply; 'saldd are not only confusing, but SUI
perlativel " ridiculous. What would you
say to this, for instance?" Here were dis
playeda humber Of the orders that had
been received from various customers,
among them the following: "Pleas Civ the
barer 5 sents worth Of onikao (arnica)
ssSeud me to pounds Lickrieh.n 81 want a
ii lb Gri rinitatar" (crea'A of tartar). "Send
me some AIaganieshia for fsig." ''Ten
cents Of hole Sinimon.'' "Twenty-five
sends of heir dressing.'' ssPleas send me
some said peate.'' The spelling of some Of
these has been somewhat improved, and
the punctuation attended to. The writers
generally seem to think that they must
carefully state the purpose to which they
propose applying the articles sent for. One
writes foAr ssTen cents worth of cologne te
smell a |runk with;'' another for 'sTwe
coughing sticks Of candy One wants
''stinking- plaster having changed the
fourth letter of the first word from CO. tc
ssn.'' Here is 4 horrible case ssSenl mt
a pickaX for my little girl. :,
Drugg lists formerly did a large business
in decaleomanias, or transfer pictures. One
asks: skGive me. fifty cats and dogs, ant
ten tigers = another, II want little girl
Customers generally initiate the article
they desire. There is called for: "Hops
and dell dock" (opodeldoc), SsPaint-killer,'
ssTitter rintment," /" ssGrm mare back, = ant
| ssLaddynum.'
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
Health i'm Middle Age.

At the age of thirty-five, says a writer in
the Family Doctor, mankind, according to
some eminent authorities, is said to have
reached the meridian of life, while others
name fdrtY as the number of years of our
earthEvhxistence But be this as it may,
no one Who has taken the ordinary means
to pfestlrve his health in youth and early
manhodd should feel otllel. than young at
the age 1of forty-five, from which period
until that of sixty, if life be spared to us,
I'VE shall do well to consider ourselves mid
dle-ageEl, and to adopt greater precautions
for the preservation of health and conse-
auent happiness than might have been
deemed necessary when youth was on cur
side. And if this is done. the period OF
middle age should be one Of the greatest
activity Of both body and mind. What
thoughIthe hairs are turning gray that
but shows one has suffered sorrow and sur
viveti it, or that, sorrow apart, he is a man
who thinks. And what thought the limbs
be not Iuite 50 nimble. Calm enjoyments
foster thought and generate habits Of that
true temperance which canliasee to long
life and eontentment more tIlsa :.llE thing
| else III this world, and whatever some may
| to the contrary. maintain That the. desire
Ito live long IS inherent III every healthy
sane man or. woman. 70 die Of old age is
| the only natural death, and # death ma.
/
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
A Sore Throat.

stGive me three feet Of mustard plaster
and give it to me right away"
The apothecary looked up from amid his
SCREEN earthen pots, bladd ers and musty
seeds" and said, in a daZed sort of way:
'sSir?" - -
In this single word was expressed botf
interrogation and surprise.
s'I say" replied DR.. Chapman, Il want
three wards of mustard plaster, and l want
it Just as quick as you can make it
Patient is in imminent danger. Delay may
mean DEATH
''Three feet of mustard plaster! Coco
heavens, doctor, what are"
s:I said three yards, not three teet-a
least, when said three feet Imeant to say
three wards, and / Immediately corrected
mvself. And think that mentioned ths
fact that this was case in which no time
was to be lost" The doctor was growing
testy.
! ssBut three yards of mustard plaster
why, bless my soul! You wouldn't wan
that much if your patient was hlppopota
mus with the stomach ache. Surely, doctor
YOU don't mean to say yards; you mus
mean inches"
DR.. Chapman assumed an air Of seVerit!
becoming his professional dignity ant
municipal office. He seemed on the verg
of expressing a forcible opinion forcibly
There was a significant pause. Then hi
severity faded away, his dignity relaxed
and he chuckled:
ssThe fact of the matter is, y he said zone
of the girattes out at the Zoo has an acut
attack of bronchitis. His throat's sore al
the way down. That's what the plaster
for. Now, then, let's have it."
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
wv amt of Decision.

A great deal of talent is lost to the world
for the want of a little courage. Every day
sends to their graves numbers of obscure
men who have only remained in .obscurlty
because their timidity has prevented them
from making a first effort, and who, lfthey
only had been induced to begin, would, in
all probability, have gone great lengths in
the career of fame. The fact is that, in do
ling. any thing in the world worth doing,
we must not stand shivering on the bank,
thinking of the cold and danger, but jump
in and scramble through as well as we can.
It will not do to be perpetually calculating
risks and adjusting nice chances; it did
very well before the flood, when a man
could consult his friends upon an intended
publication for a hundred and fifty years,
and live to see its success for six or seven
centuries afterward; but atpresent q man
waits and doubts, and constlts his brothers
and his uncles and particular friends till
one day he finds that he is sixty-fiye years
OF age, that he has lost so much time in
consulting first cousins and particular
friends that he has no time to follow Their
advice There is 50 little time for over
squeamishness at present that tlle oppor-
tunity slips away. The very period ct Life
at which men choose to venture, If ever, Is
30 confined that it is no bad rule. to preach
mp the necessity, in such instances, OF a
little violence done to the feelings, and ef-
forts made in defiance Of strict and sobel
lculation.-,Sidl1ea }sznith.
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
Cats amd Dogs at Canton.

The black cat is much more priced for
food than any other of the feline race. We
went up stairs leading to the saloon, where
several small dining-tables were placed.
Atone of these tables VIC saw a man with
little basin full Of steamlIg stew. We
went to him and said, "Maau:" (cat,) and
he answered, ''Yau,, Eyes.) 1t had q very
dark appearance Warranted black cat, /
should think), and had a most savory
smell. On the wall bill Of fare was plac-
ed, stating the cost of a repast Of dog and
cat. This is the correct rendering: Zone
tael Of black dogs flesh, 8 cash; one tael
weight Of black dogs fat, 8 kandarecns OF
silver; one basin Of black cats flesh, 100
cash one small basin of black cats flesh,
so cash, and one pair of black cats eyes, 3
kandareens Of silver" These restaurants
are crowded at the celebration Of the Hachi,
or festival Of the summer solstice, by men
of all ranks. To eat dogs flesh, especially
black dogs flesh, on that day is to sscure
the eater against sickness for the rest of the
summer. Fourteen Months in CaBtoa--1Hr.
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
A .Bua1ge Sentences Himself.

California has recently lost one of the
purest and most promising Of her young
lawyers by the death Of Eugene Fawcett,
Judge of Santa Barbara county. The
Santa Barbara Press tells this anecdote
F'Shortly after certain lawyers concerned
in the Sprague trial had been fined for con-
tempt Of court, Judge Fawcett, in mo-
ment of irritation caused by an outside
interruption while ne was about to give a
decision on point which had been raised,
let fall an expression which he felt on rap
id reflection, would be disrespectful to the
dignity Of the court if uttered by another
At once turning to the clerk, he said, sEtl-
gene Fawcett is fined thirty dollars fol
contempt of court, (naming the character
of the offence; 'the clerk will enter it up
on the Minutes He then proceeded with
the business before him, and, upon leaving
the bench for the day, handed his check tc
the clerk for the amount Of the fine.''
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
Not ITO be Sraeezed Al

The American boy is not to be sneezed
at: he is an institution worthy of more
than is generally given him, and his am
bition not infrequently carries him to ex-
tremes. A gentleman driving in from
Sandlake met OH the road 4 lad Of appar-
entity twelve summers, trudglng along the
highway with single-barrelled shotgun
over his shoulder. The weapon was for
misunderstanding one-nearly as large as
the boy fimself-but the gentleman failed
to discover any signs of game in the young
ster's hands. She following conversation
e,isued:
.sOut for a hunt?"
II was out for hunt, . was the reply.
'sAnd you haven't killed anything?n
'sWell, no.
And YOU don't expect to ~
/, ssNot unless | kin git within striking
distance. You see, me and Bill came out
together. After we got out here wanted
/ to hunt for lions, and Bill wanted to shoot
ostriehes, and SO we divided up. Bill took
\ the powder and shot and took the gun
I'm over here looking for turnips, and he'i
over III that field watching y hollow log
! for bears. u
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
a. In Irish F sarEaa.

, Imagine level country, with few trees
and no forests, cut up into very small If.
regular fields by stone walls. 1t is of sucf
land that Irish farms are composed. Ir
most counties there is a great deal of bog
gy, swampy land, from which the farmers
cut peat, which serves chem as fuel.
An Irish farm is generally about as large
as an ordinary village green of New York
or New England, say, from five to fifteen
acres. In some districts, q farm Of ten
acres is considered rather large, and it is
often the sole support Of an immense fanai-
Ily,-father, mother, ten children, and,
perhaps, an old grandmother.
Boston Common contains forty-eight
acres of land. 1t would make six good
sized Irish farms, which would maintain
fifty or sixty human beings, half-a-dozen
cows, u horse or two, some donkeys and
many pigs, besides paying about three
hundred dollars a year to the landlord, and
something to the priest.
In good seasons, all this teeming and
swarming life can just be maintained. But
suppose a crop fails! Suppose the peat
cannot be dried! Then whats Why,
hunger and starvation, of course. And,
remember, there are no factories or other
business to fall back upon. If the crops
fail, all fails.
pi4ct---A--z--. 4atIE1a1les 'slottfu &c
as poor this year as they were in Ireland
last year, it would be great calamity, but
very few persons would go hungry on that
account. The fisheries, the shops, the
factories, commerce, and the savings-ba
would go on about as usual, and the people
would buy their food from other States.
Irish farms do not all lie along a high
road, as with us. Farms are behind farms
and a great number of them can only be
reached by donkey path three four feet
wide. All the work is done by hand. The
fields are dug, not ploughed, and many
farmers have no implements but a spade, a
hoe and turf-cutter, and no vehicle except
a small donkey-cart.
The farmhouse is generally one story
high, and very often consists of Il single
large room, with perhaps a recess for a
bed. It is commonly built Of stone, with a
roof of thatch, but many of the houses are
made of earth, with hard floor Of home
made cement In this one room, the dairy
work is done, and all the family live, the
pig coming in and going out as he pleases.
Are the people then miserable and de-
graded? BY no means. When the harvest
is good and the. rent reasonable, they are
among the most cheerful people in Europe,
and, in all the world, there is no land where
the women are more modest and pure. The
children are ruddy and robust The houses
are generally clean and neat. The people
enjoy life SO much upon those little black,
boggy farms, that when they emigrate to
America or Australia, they sometimes al
most die of homesickness. In many instan-
ces, poor Irish girl among us never goes
to bed for six months after leaving home, |
without crying little for the old house Of
mud and thatch, and the old folks within
if - Youth s COnaDGni0n. -
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
Ans Obiect Lessona.

a syorkingman in Manchester, Eng, re-
Gently gave an ssohject lesson that was
fun 81 meaning. Taking loaf of bread,
to represent the wages Of his felloW-work-
men, hescut off u moderate slice, saying to
his audience. sThis is what you give to the
city government" A larger slice, which
he then cut off, he said, this is what you
give TO the general government Il Then,
with d vigorous flourish Of his knife, hecnt
of tllree-quarters of the Ioaf, saying,
ssThia is what yon give to the brewer
Only a thin slice then remained, the grea-
ter part of which he set aside forfhe pub
lie house, leaving only q few crumbs, mt
And this you keep . support yourself
and family
Little Hopeful (to papa, Whe had been
absent Papa, was run over yester-
day. Papa-.tAYhat! Were not hurt
/ low did it happenFE y II - %, ss;i<
run over by the elevated railroad. /. Papa
/ wonders IL his heir Won / some day. Dt
5s8F5
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
KITTY BELL AND Il.

We were walking in the meadow
Kitty Bell and /;
And while walking, swectiy talking,
Meath the starry sky,
softly spoke we Of the weather,
Coming up the lane together:
D. with hearts light as a feather
Walked Kitty Bell and I.
Told again the old, sweet story,
Kitty Bell andI;
pIjgitcA lovers, walked VIC under
The bright, starry sky.
starry nights are all too tlccting!
The sweet story not completing,
We appoint another meeting,
Kitty Bell and /.
And at last, when we were parting,
Kitty Bell andi
whispered softly 10 each other
Meath the starry sky.
teitaionc fell to dreaming
That where stars were brightly cleaning,
with her own eyes softly beamiug,
Sat Kitty Bell and !,
Lonely walk i'll the meadow
Not Kitty Bell and l.;
She has broken vows she made me
Meath starry sky.
Twocomc through thc meadow walking;
AS hear their low toned talking,
Comes the ghost Of lost love stalking,
From Kitty Bell, to die.
II H. EyHn0jSs
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
If. Local Pride.


Chancellor Bruce, of Kentucky, recently
delivered before the Southern Historical
Association, at Louisville, an eNtempora-
neous address, in which he gave his reeoi-
lections Of some Of the prominentmelnbers
of the Confederate Congress. After refer
ring in a general way to the causes which
produced hostilities betWeenthe North and
the South, Judge Bruce remarked that
there were many kentuekians who felt as
did the lamented Colonel Phil Lee, who
said he was for the Union b4tt if the Union
was dissolved, be was for Kentucky; i
Kentuck was dissolved, he was for BtllIitt
County if Bullitt County was dissolved, he
wasfor shepherelsville: and if shepherds
vile was dissolved. he was for Ais side 9
the street. ~
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
Terrible Destruction OF Back
Rabbits by Gold.

Every since the cold snap the Washoe
and Piute Indians have been selling Jack
rabbits in astonishing quantities at figures
which have ruled considerably below theil
4 usual market prices. Bill jackson, who
4 has been out hunting and prospecting for
q week or ten days past tellsa remarkable
story in connection with the bountiful sup
! ply of rabbits which the Indians are at
i present furnishing. A few days ago he
visited King S canon, and there he asserts
he found acres of jacl-rabbits frozen stiff
on the ground. Rather than shoulder the
/ responsibility of the remarkable statement.
the AppRaz gives the yarn in Jackson's 8
own words:
You see, the cold snap drove the rab-
bits into the canon out of the wind One
moonlight night | came across a drove of
over five hundred making for the canon.
They Were al huddled together, getting as
much warmth as possible from each others
bodies. The drove were packed together
as close as the threads Of a three-ply carpet,
and as they moved along they looked like
q big army blanket drawn over the ground.
They passed close by me and when I fired
into the drove with a shotgun eight or ten
dropped, but the balance closed right up
and passed on as before. [ didn't think at
the time exactly what was up, but a few
fh7a5 fhsaf5e ga vas HP J5 IN Kings y.s canon and
commonest thing I ever glued my eyes to.
There were the Kabbits--acres of 'em--all
huddled together in bunch, and packed
like sardihes, and every blasted one Of 'em
froze stiff as Il wedge. I turned up the
edge of the mass with my gun and broke
off a slice with a dozen in all stuck together.
Presently Indians came along and
began to- yell. They concluded they'd
struck a meat bonanza and they've been
luggin off the rabbits ever since. That's |
the reason rabbits are so cheap around the
town. Why, out in the brush you can find
whole gangs Of 'em standin' on their hind
legs and frozen stiff. [ shot single one
the other day, 'sposin' he was alive.'
Other hunters report thousands Of frozen
Jack-i'aDDfts III carson Valley, altnouSn
none have as yet viewed the astonishing
sights described by Jackson. Hank Monk
corroborates Jackson's yarn, but says thai
the present crisis in the affairs of jack
rabbits isn't to be compared with the :gen-
eral destruction of the animals in 1859.
He asserts that sSevery darned rabbit on
earth was frozen stit.' Yesterday Blank
heard more about rabbits: ''Ihat's alE true
what Jackson says, but he hasn't told half.
Yesterday I seed hundreds of them rab-
bits thawin' out. In fact. Whenever the
sun hit 'em hard they Timber up, give
shake and skip away Tor the /
sage brush. Little sugar and gin? Guess
l will .''-Carson lNeu.l Appeal. |
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
la1.isd stIa "a n.sSa.

Christ Church, Boston, is aVeI, l59 years
old. Erected in RS il can claim A grea-
feIss than any other church II this city
From its belfrF Were swung the lanterns
that flashed tiieir signal to Paul Revere.
Ill thelli gElt of The flnotls ride to I4exilgg-
ton. Il warning Of ttlle expected English
raid The furniture of tlle#eaa:a1leel IS pialn
aud while the pa;sFef-hooles and
Biiles me honorable with age. and were
bestowed iii 3ss T.33s itr Isill George
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
Poetry.
An INVITATION.
10 the garden, sweet,

I, come into the garden, sweet,
At dawn Of day, at dawn Of day;
ror Love has the key of the postern- gate
Make no delay! makcno delay!
Here beds of roses white and rcd.
Where softly shall you fare;
Here's crowds of yellow marigold5
TO deck your shining hair.
Here's meadow lawns and grassy plots,
Where dainty feet may stray;
1,crc,y doves to coo, and birds to sing
Loves tender roundeIay.
Here's peaches from the southern wall,
o. sweetheart. taste and try;
Here's arbors green and trelliscs
To kiss, and 10 one by.
And all these things await you, love,
Atdawn Of day, ut dawn OF day;
Far Love is here with song and Into
Make no delay! make no delay!
-Ft0let H1tg1t, it8 Scpibncr.
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
'HsHa n. j. HEa

If years ago, children, said = sil-
er-hailetI old man to# his grandsons, some
time along in 1868, when m Indian out
III Colorado met the United States Army.
and Id the pitiless pride Of his own superb
or strength reached out and st;slped both
of him. And fhentfle old mar ellt of ~
explain how for ne;lrly seven years pl'etea--
ing that sad occurrence. Congress lad
been supporting tIleaEaily sta total lesl,el1se
af $$I.75 4 year for tia soldiers and Sss,sa.
900 i week fol. ti,t eontlaletol. I2a1.lff1tg-
LII InaeI.sttg.
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
. - = za,5---I77-5l
EgeNF aa.~

Beware OF salVes, beware Of plasters,
beware of 5ey waters, beware Of hair-elges,
beware Of washes for reIinining the skin,
beware Of toilet powders, and DE careful in
tie use Of secuted soaps. Why Saves
make and keep the skin sore plasters pre-
vent wounds from healing eye NJ tersI tlo
often more injury than ssood, most ll'lir-
dyes produce sore eyes identifying g washes
are often poisonous. ditto toilet powders,
while scented soaps are usually too sharp
bF the free alk;tli they contain ~ I'taetieaI
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-04-16
Story of "a Parrot

1t was named Jane. Whether the sex
warranted the feminine appellative / do
not know, but by its ability to handle Ian
guage should think it was all right. 1t
came from Mexico, with the family and
could only talk Spanish at first, but soon
learned the English language. She was
larger than ordinary bright green with
a red tail, and very vain was she of that
ornament. Her command Of language was
wonderful.
When her cage was hung by the win
dow she would collect q crowd Of boys by
crying ssFire! fire!" and then change to
ssCharcoal !''-precisely like the vender-
they suddenly say, in conversational tone,
sNow, boys, run to school; do.
When the door-bell rang, Jane would
hop to the baIuster and call ont to the
visitor, Johnny isn't home! Call again. y
Or fanliliarly remark, sO!is it youf"
She would learn street songs, and try
patiently BY the hour to get the tune and
words / sat in my room one day and
heard her try to sing, sUp III balloon,
boys, up then she got stuck, when she
exclaimed, lettishly, "Pshaw!!'' Then
she tried it again and again, till she got
the two verses right, upon which she bark
ed and croa.ed, and went through a whole
vocabulary, in her triumph and delight.
When the daughter was old enough to
| 70 To school, Jane would say to her after
breakfast, Come, Eva, get ready. Nine
o'clock, now.
She would go to the side her mistress 5
bed i'll the morning, and say, Get; it's
late. I'm very hnlgry!!' =
She was very fond Of babies, 50 l1el mis-
tress made her q rag-doll. Il vas very
| |droll to hear her baby talk, initiating hcl
mistress tone and languag ge very accurate
/ w. She would let no stranger touch the
doll, but was delightedif the family noticed
it. She insisted upon learning her lessons
with Eva, when the latter was old enough
/ to. study at home. She would repeat tbs
sutfiSes and prefixes after her giiblT, anG
annoyed her=so much thaE5she would have
! to be shut III another room, when she
would still spell, sHrilly.
There was a small party assembled ii
the house one evening. Jane Has very
shy, ana refused 10 say !. word, but after
4 Il lnonentary silence il the room Erole
forth with, 20 .iloiR funny ending ,itl
such d Jolly, ro1Iieking laugh that JOIN:
"