The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-08-05
ONE OE THE sJIEERS."
A Woman Who Thought She Had just
Grounds Tor a Divorce.
Manchester IN. H.) Mirror.

A Woman Who Thought She Had just
Grounds Tor Divorce.
Manchester IN. H. Mirror.
She was about forty.fye years old, we'll.
dressed. had black hair, thin and tinged
with gray, and eyes in which cleaned
the fires of a determination not to be
easily baked. She walked into Major
Houses Office, and requested q private
interview, and having obtained it, and
satisfied herself that the Law students
were not listening at a key-hole, said
slowly, solemly and impressively
"I want divorce"
"What for? Isnppose you had one Of
the best of husbands" said the Major.
dispose that's what everybody thinks,
but if they knew what I've suffered in ten
years they'd wonder / had NOT scalded
him long ago. ought to, but for the
sake of the young ones I've borne 1t ana
said nothing. I've told him though what
he might depend on, and now the times
come. I won't stand it, young ones or
no young ones I'll have a divorce, and
if the peiehbors want to blab themselves
hoarse about it they can, for | won't
stand it another day."
But what's the matter? Don't your
husband provide for you? Isn't he
true to you? Don't he etreat you kindly?"
pursued the lawyer. ;.
1--WE get victuals enough, and l don't
know but he's as true and kind as men
in general, and he's never knocked any
of Us down. I wish he had, then I'd get
him into Jail and know where he was
Of nights" retorted the woman.
.sThen what's your complaint against
him?" !.
swell, if you must know, he's one of
these plaguey jiners."
"a whatf"
ga iiner-one ofthem pesky fools that's
always jinin' something. There can't
nothing come along that's dark and sly
and hidden, but he'll jineit. Ifanybody
should get up society to burn his house
down, he'd iine it just as soon as he could
get in, and if they had to pay to
get in, he'd 60 all the suddener. we
hadn't been married more'n two months
before he iined the Know Nothin's. We
lived on farm then, and every Saturday
night he'd come tearin' in before supper.
grab a fistful of nut-cakes, and 60 OFF
Enawin' 'em, and that's the last I'd see
of him till morning. And every other
night he'd roll and tumbled in his sleep.
and holler, aPut none but Americana on
guard George Washington" and on
rainy days he'd 90 utinto the corn barn
and lab at q picture of the Pope with an
old Bagnet that was there. I ought to
putmy. foot down then; but he fooled
me so with his lies about the Pope's COM
ing soon to make all Yankee girls marry
.Lrishmen, and to eat up all the babes
that warn't born with cross on the fore
heads, and I let him go on and encour-
aged him in it.
..Then he lined the Masons. Perhaps
you know what them be, but I don't
':ept they think they're the same kind OF
critters that built Solomon's Temple, and
took care Of his concubines; and of all
the darned nonsense and CAB about wor-
shipful mas and squares and compasses
and sich, that we had in the house for the
next six months, you, never see the beat.
And he's never outgrowed it nuther.
What do You think of. man, Squire,
that'll dress hlsselfin white apron, bout
big enough for monkeys bib, and 60
marching up and down, and making mo-
t;ons and talking the foolishest lingo at
picture of George Washington in agreen
jacket, and truss on his stomach {
hin't he a loonytick? Well, that's my
Sam, and I've stood itas long as I'm go
1.-THE next lunge the fool made was
into the Odd Fellows. ] made it warm
for him when he came home and told
me he'd iined them; but he kinder pac.
ifed me BY telling me that they had asort
Of branch show that took in women, and
he'd get me in as coon as he, found out
how to doit. Well, one night he came
home and said I'd been black-balled.
Did it himself, Of course. Didn't want
ME round knowing to his goings on. OF
course he didn't, and / told him 80.
"Then he jined the Sons of Matter.
Didn't say word to me about it, but
sneaked off; one night, pretenden' he'd
got to- set up with sick Odd Fellow;
and I'd never found it out, only he came
home looking like man that had been
through threshing machine, and |
wouldn't do thing for him till he owned
no. And so it's gone from bad to wus,
and from wus to wusser, jiniD, this and
t'other, till he's Worship Minister of the
llasons, and Goddess of Hope of the Odd
Fellows, and Sword Swallower of the
Fannigans, and Virgin Cerus of the
Grange, and Grand Mogul of Sons of In
dolence, and Two-Edged Tomahawk of
the United Order Of Black Men, and
Tale. Bearer of the Meciful Manikins, and
Skipper Of the Guild Of Caratrine Colum-
bus, aud Big Wizard of the Arabian
knights, and Pledge Passer of the Re-
form Club, and Chief Bulger of the Irish
Machinists, and Purse-Keeper of the Or
der of Canadian Conscience, and Double.
Barreled Dictator of the Rights of the
Brass Circles, and Standard Bearer of the
Royal Archangels, and Sublime Porte of
the Union League, and Chambermaid OF
the Celestial Cherubs, and Puissian Po-
tentate of the Petrifed Pig-Stickers, and
the Lord only knows what else. I've
borne it and borne it hopin' he'd get 'em
all lined after while, but tain't no
use; and when he'd got into new one
and been made Grand Guide of the
Knights of Horror, I told him I'D quit
and will"
Here the Major interrupted her say
ing:
SWell, your husband is pretty we'll in:
itiated, that's fact; but the court will
hardly call that good cause for a divorce.
The most of the societies you mention
are composed ofhonorable men; and have
excellent regulations. Many Of them,
though called lodges, are relief associa-
tions and mutual insurance companies,
which, if your husband should die, would
take care of you and would not see you
suffer if you were sick"
''See me suffer when I'm sick r Take
care of me when he's dead! Well, I
guess not. can take care of myself
when he's dead. and, if can't, / can get