The Milan exchange. (Milan, Gibson County, Tenn.) 1874-1978, 1880-11-18
Greek Meets Greek. Book Agent
Tackles a Boarding HenSe Keeper.

Yesterday morning a man with the
aspect of a book agent walked swiftly
up Magazine Street until he came oppo-
site house where a red-headed woman
with long nose and her sleeves rolled
up was Washing the windows.
/" Is this boarding house, MADAME
he said, gently, as ne leaned his ell
bows on the fence and looked over in
the yard.
"Yes. SIR" replied the woman.
"Can | obtain desirable board here
at reasonable rate?"
"Yes, sir, there is no better house in
the cityr'
"Can see the landladyP"
81 am the landlady, SIR"
"Ahl indeed. | have often heard of
the beauty and industry of the women
of New Orleans, but now have an oc-
ular demonstration of the fact"
"Do YOU wish to secure board here?"
inquired the woman, blushing and look
ing pleased.
swell, reckon do. Have you any
old maids in the house who wear gim-
let curls and have pet parrots that talk
alLnight and worry the life out of peo-
pie? Are there any babies here who
are always having the collie and bowling
enough to make a man a maniacp Mad
am, am very particular where board,
as the last place / stopped at my room
was situated between that of young
woman who had a pair Of twin babies
and musician who played on the flute
and walked with a crutch and when the
babies became quiet on the one side,
the Internal cuss on the other would
either be humping over the floor or
playing on the flute, until at last | could
stand it no longer. Are any of these
boarding house pests stopping with
you?"
"No, sir, none but quiet single men
board here"
"Ah, that is surely a fine recommen-
dation; but do you set fine tablet"
"Yes, of course 1 do" replied the
woman. getting angry, "what else do
you want to know?"
what prompted me to ask you the
question was the fact that every board
ing-house falls into the error of giving
its boarders tough liver for breakfast,
which is something | detest. When
man gets up in the morning he doesn't
feel like trying to eat spring mattress,
consequently make it a point to hunt
up a house where the boarders are not
so cursed. A man can stand Goldfish
balls very well, but human nature,
madam, is far from being equal to tough
liver three times a day. If you recol-
lect, l said before, am very particular
where l board. Madam, are you mar
ried womanP"
"Yes, l am, and Pm tired of answer
ing your questions. If you don't want
board here Just 90 away" and the eX-
cited landlady slushed soapsuds over the
window panes and made her brush fly
like gin saw. The man still leaned
on the fence and gazed at her steadily.
MADAM, see you have a temper"
he remarked, when she turned around
to see if he had gone; land temper,
when it is not controlled, often creates
a great deal of misery and no end of
divorce suits. I've no doubt that,
when irritated by household duties and
cares, that you often give your hus-
band a sound rebuking and if he is a
prematurely bald-headed man, it is
your own fault; yet you are not TO
blame for that which nature endowed
you with. But this trouble can be OBJ
waited. / have here, madam" and he
dived into a square box, "a valuable
work entitled Home Made Happy or
the Domestic Guide This excellent
volume | will sell you for the sum of
one dollar and fifty cents. AS l pre-
viously remarked. you cannot be blamed
for your temper. Every red-headed
woman with a long nose and a brown
wart under her left eye, has sour tenn
per, but if you will only follow the sug-
gestions laid down in this book, your
home will be paradise, and"
"If you don't leave here. you impu-
dent puppy, I'll call the police. l want
you to"
''Bear in mind, madam, that no mat
fer how ugly you are, good dis
position makes any woman angelic,
and"
"Ain't you going to leave, you des-
picable villain, you bandy-legged-
Although you are shaped like lop-
sided triangle and have freckles on
your face as large as a ginger snap
The next instant shrek was heard,
and the book agent was stretched fat
on the pavement with a bucket of soap
suds on top of him and small dog
swapping at his heels.-NeW Orleans
Times.