South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1880-08-27
WIT AND HUM OR.


A good friend OF the Drawer, one
who adorns by his learning, eloquence,
and piety the House OF Bishops, was
visiting one of the outlying parishes
of his diocese, whore the pastor was
young man of promise, Just graduated,
but whose sermons were so crowded
with rhetoric and words OF thesMeso-
potamia' sort that the negroes were
not able to profit much by his SER
mons; he preached clean over their
heads, and his flock gradually dimin-
ished in attendance. The good bish-
OPP spoke about this to one OF the most
influential OF the colored brethren, 10
which the darby replied: 'De fact is,
Mas'r Bishop, dat Mas'r Watson done
use SIGH high words dat wc can't un'-
stan him ut all. He amt nuthin'
like you, Mas'r Bishop for when you
breaches to rs, you preach so like
niggah dat we un'stan' ebbery word
you say, suah 2
CoURTiNs ALL OF THEM.-'I don't
want TO make any trouble, but there
is one man in this city who ought TO
be gibbeted = began bluntspoken
woman of foity-five rs she stood be-
fore the officials of the Twentieth
Street Station u day or two ago.
When they inquired for particulars
she handed out q letter and said
Observe the envelope. That let
ter is addressed TO me. You will sec
that the writer calls me his iessaIninc,
and he wants nae 10 scta early date
for the wedding.
When the captain had finished the
letter she was ready with another,
adding
And this is addressed % my daugh-
ter Lucrctia. You will see that ne
calls her his rosy angel, and he says
he can't live if she doesn't marry him.
It's the same man.
SO il was, and his letter was rs ten
der az spring chicken. That finished,
she handed out 4 third, with the re-
mark:
This is directed to my daughter
Helen. It's the very same man, ans;
in it he calls her his pansy he says he
dreams of her
why, he seemed to love the whole
AtNaAiii iIititst NCA' tiAC OCSlllctltl.
THAT'S just it. I'm q widow with
two daughters, and he was counting
us all at once and engaged to the
three OF us the same time. OH!
what wretches there are in this world =
Yes, indeed. It's lucky you found
him out
Eyes, it is. If hadn't he might
have married the whole caboodie of
ns. IfLucretia hadn opened one of
my letters and ii | hadn't searched
the girls pockets while they were as
leep we'd have thought him on inno-
cent lamb
And 10 You want him arrested p
No ! CUES not. but | want this
matter to 90 INTO tho papers as a
warning to other women just think
OF his sitting up with me- Sunday
night, Lucrctia on "Wednesday night,
and Helen on Friday night, and call.
ing each one OF us his climbing rose !
Oh, sir, the woman ought to know
what dccciying nima! man is
Yes, he's pretty tough
1T has learned me o lcsson,' She
said as she was ready to 90. The
next man that comes sparkling around
my house has got to come right ont
and say which he's after. ii its the
girls | won't say nothing, and If it's
me 1t won't do 'em a bit OF good to
slam things around and twit me OF
burying two husbandsH
a Massachusetts minister las, Sln-
day closed us sermon, preached to
the children, with: Boys, love your
country and love your God and the
girls, too
MIRACLE OF HONESTY party
one evening several contested The honor
of having done tho most extraordinary
thing; u reverend gentleman was ap g.
pointed judge OF their respective protein
lions. Gao produced his ta;!or's bill
with q receipt attached 30 il. y buzz
through the room that this coald no: be
outdone when o second proved that he
had Just arrested bis ts..or Tor money
lent him.
"Thc palm 10 bis, ras tho genera
cry when e tL!f6 put IN his claim.
Gentlemen. hs said, 81 cannot boast
q tie gc-a ot uy ptcdeCCsor5 for have
Just r.'1rn5a % tie owners three lead
pencils and Two umbrellas that vorO OF:
- mY house
"FU hear 30 more cried the acton B.,
ished arbitrator "G,is IS The veey aome
of honesty, y is aa .ct ofyirtue Of which
never k1e0 any Gre eepabie Tho
Prize
TIo.d," cred another. "I have done
still more tL1u shat"
"ImpOssible." cried tte whole comma