The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-06-03
WAITS AND WHIMS.


what will be done with it The end, we
"a The vassar girl never says g jim
JAMS" She euphonizes it into flames
multitudes.' ---.s-s.s-z s-z->--------~----
RAISING structure ID like raising I,
baby-great care should be used in the
,underpinning., So i
soME one says man must either be
an anvil or a hammer. But how many
are nothing but bellows2s ls5ns s.5s
!, LADY LINDSAY thinks the violin
ts promises to become favorite with
the sweeter SEX" Oh, fiddle! Y3 s#
Y NEVADA is the place for cowslips.
One man, has lost fourteen this year
which slipped over precipice.
SOME people put stockings on their
hens to keep them from scratching, but
better plan is to " shoo them.
THEY want new name for the terri
tory that is to be cut OF from the top
of Dakota How would Sittinbul do
AM Irishmafl says he can zee no
earthly reason why women should not
be allowed to become medical men.
ti.Gs' INoU1RER" asks if the tinsbre in a
singers voice comes from the lumbar
region? He pines to know, but we pine
not.
rs No. Mabel, the merinos you find in
the dry goods stores are not the some as
/ the marine news yeu see IN the le.s news
papers.
nta MY lord" said the foreman of an
Irish jury when giving in the verdict,
" we find the man who stole the mare
not guAtysas4 .ed.J sI..s .asif Il i s,s..s.
E SOCIETY is divided into two great
classes those who have more dinners
than appetises and those who have more
appetites than dinners. azs--
IAN old miser having listened to DOW
erful discourse on charity, said: THAT
sermon SO strongly proves the necessity
Of alms,giyipg that Eye almost = mind MI "a.
toIbeg." 80 ~
/, SOME c,olored men will dig all day If
I told there is q half dollar buried in
certain spot, but they will not dig eel
lar for less than one dollar and fifty
cents day.
| awHEN yesterday ! asked you, love, m
One little word to say. -
Your brother interrupted US; 6Egf FL,
az. So please say, Yesterday. 1u
+ TuToR--ssCo Come, now, Mr.. B., give
| me a familiar example of Hogarth's line
| Of grace. Can't you think oft? Its
| curved article that you see every day"
Mr! B7 desperately -"A-a- pref
| eel = -
a COUNTRY newspaper out west thus
heads tsreport of fire: /" Feast OF the
Fire Fiend-The. Forked- -Tongued De-
mon. Licks with its Lurid Breath
| Lumber Pile i--Are the Scenes of Bos-
ton to be Repeated Loss $50 doll. !" p. g..
| A BRIGHT son of dyer in Birming-
ham woollen factory went to New YORK
a few years. ago in the employ of e
& T. By attention to business he
i advanced from post to post, and now
has the, whole; charge of the business
and is a millionaire. WHAT became OF
T. -aa&s T--iislnot,stated. However,
that has nothing to dslw with the moral.
.l-Danbury Nears. z'''--.'
LAS an Innocent looking old man was
going up Washington,street, drayman
nodded at him and asked: Want q
dray, MisterT' "No-o, guess not,
replied the Old man; /" Pm too fur from
4 home, and can't pay: freight on it.
Much obieeged, though. .Vicksburg Is
La powerful nice town. A fellow back
there asked me if 1 didn't want coati
another inquired if I wanted hack,
and now you offer me dray. wish 1
lived here. - Vscksbsrg Herald. 1
/ A CITIZEN of Visalia, Cal, who was
not raised on q farm, is growing vege-
table garden. Recently he planted some
i beans. The morning after the heavy
| rain, on examining his garden, he found
that they had ssprouted and that the
beans were being pushed above the
Il ground. He had never seen q bean
lofo ,D% Notwithstanding
what made them come up, he went
/ back into the ground with his finger.
q II Mrs. Bakeweh was proud OF. any
4 thing, that, thing was her cooking,
especially her cake. Therefore you can
i in measure fancy her feelings when
to slice Of Mrs. Bakewelps richest loaf
{ ca ke, remarked, 9 There, that's just the
kind o' cake that suits me- I've told
Mrs. TalkweH time and time ag'in that
1 them that wants rich cake can have it
Il for all O. meaisJust give me Q piece Of
f'common, cheap stuff; it's good enough
for anybody, / say!" -
4 70 a you've mother, in despair Of ever
d teaching her little girl, aged four, her
letters, and thinking that perhaps the
said: CHOW, Katie, I won't try to
teach you to-day; You shall be mother
4 and teach me my letterssfp May l
really and truly ibe mother = said Kate.
!, !" Yes, my dazzling "'g,v,"" Let's begin,
! then" was the rponse. q You have
been a very good child to- day, and you
,tmay have whole holiday ~ and Katie
shut up the book and ran off laughing.
L 81 ~. ze-z------s----