Connecticut western news., 1880-02-18
WIT AND WISDOM y

Never dis-nair.
 No man cares to have his worth un- derrated except by the tax assessor.
 The wise man telleth bis love, but the foolish man writeth it in letter.
 A Boston paper advertises for bachelor who is not looking for rich widow.
 The pull-back's advantage -- It makes it difficult for lovely women to stoop to folly.
 "A man may be as honest as the day is long and yet be little crooked on thirty days credit.
 -"Wanted plain cook" reads an advertisement. Wonder whose wife put that in the paper? @
 A broker replied, on being asked what he cleared on certain speculation, Nothing but my pockets" 'sr,
 We can't all be saints, although none of us are so thoroughly demoralizedstha we can't close the door behind us. s,,-
 In this country a mean man has only to die to have everybody praise him and neglect the good who live on. A Whitehall lady, the Ivnses says, dropped a chunk of ice on her toes, and she immediately had nice scream.
 It is difficult to say which do the most harm, at times, enemies with the worst intentions or. or.friendsswith the best ones.
 "This sidewalks handy, but not as sandy as wish it was," said the man who reached his length on the icy pave- ment. rms
 When we sec XX or XXX on a liauor cask we always think of the amount of oriss-cross walking condensed inside of 1t. s An Illinois girls toast--" The young men of America Their arms our sup port, our arms their reward; fall in, men fall in."
 A writer on style says: |" It is the fashion in France for ladies to take their tea in bonnets and gloves" It may be, but we prefer teacup.
 A Sacramento paper speaks of Q Senator "with half-jaunty air about him." Many of them do have sort ot delniiohnny air about them. <
 Lady Examiner-Ten me what IS an averagea Child-A thing to lay GEES on. Mother says our old hen lays six eggs a weeks on on average.
 A Los Angeles boy has a new idea of the refrain. Being asked in Sunday school what is tho meaning of "Selsh," he replied that it was ancient for "Whoa, Emma" .t ...a
 -"The Begum of Bhopal is pro- nounced ono of the cleverest women in India" The Uhewgum of vassar is the smartest girl in Duchess county [Wappingers Era.
 A beautiful girl up town received c fragrant bouquet from one of her many admirers. "How lovelyl" exclaimed the eestatic fair one; Git fumigases the entire domicile." hFr. ta4' | A Norwich man calls himself on his card Temperance Bootmaker." The need of temperance boots is apparent, for although they're not generally drunk, it is notorious that they're often tight. A member of school board, not thousand miles from Boston, visited 2 school under his jurisdiction. When asked to make some remarks, he said :: "Well, children, you spells well and reads well, but you haint got still" t--
 No one knows who invented the fashion in society of turning down the corner of visiting card; but the fash ion of turning down the corner of street was first thought of by the man who owed small bill to the tradesman he saw coming.
 -" When I was young," said Mrf. Scoldwell to her little girl, [" I used to love my dear mamma too we'll to act as you do." "And did your mamma," re- piled Bertha quickly, "used to be all the time telling you what she did when she was @ girl ?" ass@ 4@ | A young man will stand in front ot o church door half an hour on the cold- est night without complaint, waiting for the service to end, but let his mother ask him to go out and get on armful of wood and he will grumble all the rest of the evening. ..'...ry '. -a.sT .ua
 A young lady, who complains that on railroad train she was misdirected by the officials, writes "I was com- pelled to walk three miles to another station. I was frightened by several tramps, but as they were lazy and my bundle was very large they permitted me to keep it"i et. .. a.. .,ai.., a. ..l.
 At trial in Erie, Pa, the question of veracity was raised against certain gentleman, and witness. who had just left the stand, being recalled, asserted that he would not believe the party un- der oath. "Why ?" asked the attorney. Because," replied the excited witness, "he lied about my dog. !" .'' f | -Breathes there man with soul 50 dead who never to his wife has said, when she had laid her little head upon his weskit for bed !, "W'y, there's yer sky-blue bombazine, I'm sure it's nicer'n any seen a-sweeping muddy crossings clean; wy won't 1t do to turn P"--the | mean unrenerous told hrutav