The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-11-16

'.aad he's not worth Ills tax" The lit
tie dog Immediately got up, and with =
crestfallen appearance, put It's tail be-
tween Its legs and left the room. It was
never seen or heard Of afterwards,
thoug1 the most thorough search and
inquiry was made.
IT ts related OF the Grand Duke Con-
stanttne Of Russia that upon one occa-
sion at a ball At the Tullerles, In tho
palmy days of the second empire, the
Empress Eugene asked him which
woman In tho emblage seemed to
him the most beautiful. His answer
was, perhaps, as disappointing to the
fair Empress as 1t was complimentary
to his wife. "Your majesty" said he,
"must excuse me. am only bar
barian, a Cossack. I only know one
handsome woman; she Is my wife,"
A YUuNG man who had signed the
pledge, entered barber's shop, and, at
the close of the shave, the knight OF
the razor commenced bathing the mans
race with rum, when he was somewhat
taken back by an exclamation, "Look
out! l have signed the pledge, and 1
won't nave that stuff so near my
mouth ?"
DEAN SWIFT called at a house In Cav
anywhere the lady overdid his welcome,
saying: "Wnl you have an apple pie.
sir? Win you have gooseberry pie,
sir! Win you have currant pie, sir
VIII you have a cherry pie, sirp VIII
you have Plum pie, sir ?" Will you
nave pigeon pie, sir ?" At last, wear
led with her words, he said. "'Any pie,
madam, but magpie."
AMONG the effects Of New Yorker
who committed suicide were one hun
dred and fourteen scarf-pins. 1t is sus-
pected that he took his life because he
didn't own one hundred and fifteen. A
base, craving desire tor scarf-pins will
wreck young mans character and
destroy his mental equilibrium sooner
or later. Shun the searf-pin as you
would poisonous viper.
G1LBERT STUART the portrait painter,
IS said to have met lady in the streets
of Boston who accosted him with:
"Ah, Mr.. Stuart, have Just seen your
likeness and kissed it, because it was so
Ia returnF' "why, no." "Then.5
sal. said thc gallant painter, "it was not
DR.. Il. V. PIERCE. Consulting Physi-
clan to the Worlds Dispensary and In.
valid's Hotel, of Buffalo, N. Y, has
resigned his seat in Congress, that he
may hereafter devote his whole time
and attention to those applying to the
Worlds Dlspensary Medical Associa-
ton for the treatment of Chronic Dis
eases.
"MY dear" said a sentimental maid
On to her lover, Hof what do these au-
tumnal tints, this glowing baldric Of
the sky, this blazing garniture Of the
dying year, remind your" sPanoakss.'
he promptly anewered. And then she
realised, for the frat time. that two
hearts did not beat as one.
IL man gets catarrhal affection IN
August, and he Is rich enough to spend
few weeks At the White Mountains,
he calls 1t by the aristocratlc name Of
"hay fever" II he is too poor to leave
home 1t is simply a plebeian code in the
head
WHEN they can't make an Albany
baby quit crying in any other way,
they let him crawl under a bed and
make him believe they think that he 10
lost and are locking for him, and he
will keep quiet for two hours.
IT is said that baby will cry no
harder If a pin 1s stuck into him than
he will If the cat won't let him pull her
TIL. 1t Is, therefore, cheaper to pin
him.
"IT's not the phisky man drinks
that makes him dizzy" said O'Flaherty,
"bI It it's lukin' at the barttnder's dia-
mond through the bottom iv tho tum-
b)ers. be gorra"
VEoETINE.-The great success OF the
Vegetine as a cleanser and purifier OF
the blood Is shown beyond doubt BY
the great numbers who have taken Il
and received immediate relief. with
suoh remarkable cures
A MELANCHOLY case Of suioido--A
naughty little bov, having been threat.
ened with a whipping, hung his head.
~ AN In favor Of the elevation of the
human race" as the hangman remark
cd just before springIEg the trap.
"CANADIAN hcmlock forests arc be.
Ing rapidly destroyed for their bark. "
Try 1t on some Of the dogs.
\ hh Dsnu oI u regiment Is platoon
OF itself.
A DREssMAKKR should be careful Of
her habits.
WHERE to 60 when short Of money
Go to work.
"hade Now Again.
ST. CATHARINEs, Ont.
Il. V. Pierce. NJ. D.:
have used your Favorite Presorip-
tioh, Golden Medical Discovery and
Pleasant Purgatiye Pellets. for tho last
three months and find myself--(what
shall say)-"nsade ne,o again" are the
only words that ex press It. I was re.
duced to skeleton, could not walk
across the floor without fainttng, could
keep nothing In the shape Of food on
my stomach. Myself and friends had
given up all hope, my immediate death
seemed cartQfn I CON nouor Mo too