The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-08-13
SnoonendHke,s Rnthing Snif.

FVpPthNIho y sFoththb bhtts
"My dear" observed Mr.. Spoopep.
dyke, looking up from his paper, /" ]
think would he greatly benefited this
summer by sea baths. Bathing in the
surf Is an excellent tonic, and If you
vii make me up u suit and one for your
self, If you like, we'll 20 down oftener
and take a dip in the waves"
Tho very thing, smiled Mrs
Spoopendyke;, "you certainly need
something to tone you up, and there's
nothing like salt water. | think III
make mine of blue flannel, and, let me
see, yours ought To he red, my dear"
don't think you canght the exact
dfiit OF my remark" retoried Mr..
Spoopendyke. didn't say was go.
ing into the opera business, or that |
was going to hire out TO me country
village as a conilagration. NV plan was
TO go in swimming. Mrs. Spoopendyke.
to go in swimming, and not grow IN
with the country az cremation fur
mace. You can make yours OF blue il
yon want it, but you don't make mine
of red. that's ALL"
There's pretty shade of yellow
flannel"
Most indubitab!y. Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, but If you think I'm going TO mas.
querade around Manhattan beach in the
capacity OF ham, you haven't vel
seized my, idea. | don't apprehend
That shall benefit by the waters any
more by going around looking like a
Santa Cruz rum barrel. What I want
is a bathing-suit, and if YOU can't pet
one up without making me look like a
Fulton street car. I'll go and buy some
thing to suit me-"
would you want it all in one piece.
or do you want pants and blouseP"
want suit easy to get in ard out
OF. I'm not particular about following
the fashion. Make up something neat
plain and substantial, but don't stick
any fancy colors into it. want it mod
est and serviceable."
Mrs. Spoopendyke made I'D the suii
under the guidance of n lady friend.
whose aunt had told her how it should
be constructed. 1t was in one niece
and when completed was rather n start
ling garment.
"I'll try it on tonight" said Mr..
Spoopendyke, eyeing it askance when il
was handed him.
Before retiring, Mr.. Spoopendyke ex.
amined the suit, and then began to get
into it. 81
Why didn't you make some egs tc
itr What dye want to make it ali
arms forP" he inquired, struggling
around to see why it didn't come up be.
hind.
You've got it on sideways" ex-
claimed Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You've
got one leg into the sleeve"
I've got to get it on sideways. There
amt any top to it. Don't you know
enough TO put the arms up where they
belongp What dye think | am. anv.
how? A start ish? Where does thi:
leg goP"
Right, in there. That's the place fol-
Then where's the leg that goes in
this holeP"
Why, the other leg"
Inc measly thing is all legs. Who'd
you ma Ike this thing for-meP What
dye. take me fora centipedep Who
else is going to get in here with mep
want somebody else. l amt twins.
can't fill this business up. What dive
call it, any way, family machineP"
Those other places amt legs; they're
Sleeves"
What are they doing down there /?
Why amt they up here where they be.
longP What are they there for-snow
shoesP S'pose I'm going to stand on
my head to get my arms in those holes?'
don't think you've got it on right" "
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. "It looks
twisted"
That's the way you told me. You
said, Put this leg here and that one
there, and there they are. Now where
does the rest of me go?"
Il made it according to the pattern, y
sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
~ Thor, itto II ri,bt I'D a.
twisted" sneered Mr.. Spoopendyke.
"I1l have my arms and legs altered.
All | want is to have my legs jammed
in the small of my back and my arms
stuck in my hips; then it'll lit. What
did you take for n pattern, II crab?
Where'd You find the lobster you made
this fromp S'po q I'm going into the
water on all fours? ! told YOU wanted
bathing suit, didn't /? Did | saw any,
thing about n chair coVerpr
Il think il you take it OIL and try il
on over again it'll work, ;" reasoned Mrs.
Spoopenkyke.
oh, of course. I've only got to
humor the blasted thing. That's all il
wants, and Mr.. Spvopendyke wrenched
it off with a growl.
Now pull it on, }" said Mrs. Spoopen.
dyke.
Mr.. Spoopendyke went at it again
and reversed the original order of dis
posing his limbs.
Suit you nowP" he howled. THAT
the way you meant it toP What's these
things Hopping around herep"
Those are the legs, I'm afraid
said Mrs. Spocpendyke, dejectedly.
What are they doing up here? ]
see; oh, see, this is supposed to rep.
roo NJ mn Ii
this on, I'm going head first. Where's
the balanceP Where's the restP Give
me the suit thatrepresents me head up"
and Mr.. Spoopendyke danced around the
room in fury.
Just turn it over, my dear" said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, and you are all
right"
"How'm / going to turn it overP"
yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke. "S'pose I'm
going 10 carry around n steam boiler to
turn me over when | want the other
end of this thing up? S'pose Pm going
to hire man TO go around with grid
die spoon and turn me over like flap
jack, Just to please this dod blasted bath
ing suit? Dye think l work ON pivots ?"
Just take il off and put it on the
other way" urged Mrs. Spoopendyke,
who began to see her way clear.
MIR. Spoopendyke kicked the structure
up to the ceiling, and plunged into it
once more. This time it came out all
right. and as he buttoned it up and sur
veyed himself in the glass the clouds
passed away and he smiled.
:. l like it," he remarked; "the color
suits me, and think you have done very
well, my deari only" and he frowned
slightly, " wish you would mark the
and laOo o, i .,I
from the other, or some day / will pre-
sent the startling spectacle of respect
able elderly gentleman hopping around
the beach upside down. That's all. -
Brooklyn Eagle.