Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-05-06
Sips of Fun.

a kissing auction IS to be
held at Syracuse for charitable
purposes.
The Philadelphia baby ele-
Iphant has had an attack OF chol-
era eiephantum.
] She looks down into the churn
and softly sings, "This is the
whey | long have sought"
When a Louisville man says
he thinks a donkey is the no.
blest work Of heaven, the St.
Louis folks say he's egotistical.
A familiar instance of color
blindness is that Of a man TAX
ing a brown silk umbrella and
leaving brown gingham in its
place.
When a fond parent sees a
boy walk through a gateway in
stead of climbing the fence, he
is worried for fear the lad isn't
quite himself.
The Boston Globe says that
arsenic always has been and al
ways will be the fayorite poison
with which wives make widows
of themselves.
When a ghost in Georgia
steals sheep, the farmers may
not doubt its being snpernatu-
raj, but they lay for it with shot
guns all the same.
A boy aged Is of Columbus
county, N. c., was bitten on the
wrist by black spider, and he
died in a few minutes. The
bite was on q vein.
A man under the doctors
care is called ga patient" The
man who got up this language
Iof ours was a miserable black
smith at the business.
Notwithstanding all the mod
crn improvements of husband
Try, the matrimonial harvest is
still gathered with the cradle
and thrashed by hand.
Three elephants have lately
been landed in this country for
menagerics. Each one will
start out as ''the only elephant
ever born in this country"
Mosby writes from Hong
Kong that Virginia will go for
Grant. He took good care to
put a long distance between
him and the insulted Virginians.
The Arab horse is not broken
until his fourth year. That's
where they differ from tea cups.
But thep Arab horses are not
washed by the average Kitchen
girl
Never advise another with
regard to investments. If he
wins yon get no thanks-if he
loses you will get all the blame.
Give ''polnts, if you must, but
no advice.
'Gs your wife's name Marga-
ret?" asked the hired man.
NO." said the farmer; "Mar-
gy's short for oleomargarine,
and / calls her that cause
don't love any but her."
A junior was heard to re-
mark on recent Sunday, after
Professor--had preached an
eloquent sermon: THAT was a
splendid sermon. Cad A
hundred and eight single gest-
ures and thirteen double - I,
The Universalist and Unita-
rian papers are having rather
sarcastic debate as to which de-
nomination has done most to a
bolish hell. Perhaps, remarks
the Golden Rule, they had bet
ter wait and see how it turns
out.
Bob Ingersoll wants to know
what he shall do TO be saved.
Say, Bob, get right down on .
your marrow bones and frankly
tell the Lord that you are not ,
half so bad as your neighbors.
That's the way a great many !
have fetched it.
He entered the grocery store +,
and said not a word, but allow !
ed his cane 10 swing to and fro
exactly as the pendulum of {
clock. The grocer said, "We !
sell nothing on tick" and the !
man with the cane passed sadly !
and silently out. |
The following message, in {
tended TO break the bad rews j
gently, was sent to the widow q
of a man who had just been kill {
ed by a railroad accident: [
''Dear Madam: Your husband t
is unavoidably detained for the t
Tomorrow an Nndcr- |
taker Will call upon you with J
the full particulars" /
The coming summer hat for t
women is TO be of straw. 1t
will be trimmed with strips of {
sheet tin, turkey wings, Old "