Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-05-13

{ Sing cuexoos cuckoo!
- E12. bisatsGh after lamb;
" Eoweth calf after COW;
-. Bullock stasteth, buck departeth;
MERRY sing. cuckoo;
Cuckoo, cuckoo:
Web singeth the cuckoo
Sing ever, stop never.
Cuckoo, cuckoo;
Sing, cuck00l
->~ADS
Odd Triaes.
A mere matter Of form-Cutting .
dress.
A well-known field ofiicer-A kernel
of corn.
Amateur florists may be called gar.
den green's.
The shortest joke often makes the
longest run. 80.
An indication Of spring-A bent pin
in the teachers chair.
Early vegetables are those pulled al
nve o'clock In the morning.
1t IL : sckly sentiment that advises
young doctors to have patience.
They've at last found use for Alaska
1t Is to furnish . job for q census
taker.
When you go. to ''stag party" be
careful that you don't come home stag
gering.
"Hell has no fury like woman
scorned." How is 1t when q mans
corned?
my burden is light" remarked the
little man carrying big torch in the
prOcessiOn.
Iron has gone up so high that poor
people cannot afford to have it in their
blood now.
All men able to lie are liable to do so.
George Washington could not tell lie
when he saw it.
Shakespeare says. "Joy's soul lies in
the doing" Man's soul often Giles" in
the promise to do.
It is very strange that the man who
first invented sleep did not extend the
invention to babies.
Life. It 10 strife,
IT'S battle, tits . dream;
And man is but the little boat
That paddles down the stream.
A couple on the Pacific coast proved
their true love by going out Of sight of
land and being married while they were
sea-sick.
The art Of letting other people alone
demands too much wisdom Of the be.
nevolent and too much benevolence Of
the wise.
A boy will dig over a square rod of
garden ground for fish-bait, and vet he
could not be hired to work six-foot
union bed.
II there II anything young man
Cons ders disgrxce,
It's TO have his beard referred to
Az the down upon his face-By his girl.
A Madrid paper has recently pub
1ished the alarming statement that
Spain could whip the United States in
less than two months.
The word .boom', has reached Eng
land. Now. maybe they'll wish they
had't sent US that "hardIy ever" con-
trivance. Revenge Is sweet.
A very good boy In Podunk
VI cake stole An awful big hunk;
Gave some to his sister;
Tho parents soon missed her;
She IL now In her little earth bunk.
A lady being asked how old she was.
replied: II was married at Is: my
husband was then 80. Now he is twice
ms Old-that makes me twice Is. I'm
&c."
Varied aud peculiar are the expert
ences of the Brooklyn preachers.
Now one of them is being sued by
an ex-landlady for an unpaid board
bill.
New Hampshire folks vote split tick
cts so much that resident Of the State
has had his name changed from Wilder
TO Scattering, in the hope Of getting
elected to some office. Il
This is Islander from George +.
Lanigan's last ballad:
But most It glade the female heart
Iu the spring.time OF the year
To rally rouni the ensapgofned dag
Ut the ioud-lunged su:tioneer.
When father fears that his daughter
Is going to miss good catch, he Just
notifies the young man to keep away
from her. and In less than no time, the
youth 10 moving heaven and earth to
get the girl.
Epitaph In q French cemetery:
Here Lies
Mime; bertrand.
NJ. Bertrand. marble cutter
This monument is . specimen of his work.
Cost 1900 francs.
During the late British elections q |
pamphlet was largely circulated In
Scotland entitled political Achieve
ments of the Earl Of Daldeith." TWAS |
neatly got up, and when opened was
found to contain some thirty blank |
pages.
A sufferer asked new English doc |
tor for advice. ''rry q change h'of,
HAIR" he said. She immediately dis
carded her old lrizzles and bfaids. and |
invested In twenty dollars worth Of
new lair; but hsr health has not i'm
proved.