The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-11-04
''Perfectly Lovely Philosophy.

A few days ago q Boston girl who had
been attending the School Of Philosophy
at Concord arrived in Brooklyn on q
visit to . seminary chum. After cam
wasting thoroughly the fun and gum
drops that made up their education in
the seat of learning at which their early
scholastic efforts were made, the Brook
lyn girl began to inquire into the nature
of the Concord entertainment.
s'And SO you are taking lessons in
philosophy. How do you like it?''
oh! it's perfectly lovely. It's about
science, you know, and we all just dote
on science"
"It must be nice. What is it about?''
"It's about molecules as much as
anything else, and molecules are Just
too awfully nice for anything. If there's
anything l really enjoy, it's molecules"
'Tel1 me about them, my dear.
What are molecules?''
"Oh! molecules. They are little wee
things, and it takes ever so many of
them. They are splendid things! Do
you know, there amt anything but
what's got molecules in it. And Mr..
Cook is just as sweet as he can be, and
Mr.. Emerson. too. They explain ev-
erything 50 beautifully"
"How I'd like to go there!'' said the
Brooklyn girl. enviously.
"YOu'd enjoy it ever SO much. They
teach protoplasm, too, and if there is
one thing perfectly heavenly it's proto-
plasm or molecules
Tell me about protoplasm. know
I should adore it,
"'Deed you would. It's just too
sweet to live. You know it. about how
things get started, or something of that
kind. You ought to hear Mr.. Emerson
tell about it. 1t would stir your very
soul. The first time he explained about
protoplasm there wasn't dry eye in
tho house. We named our hats after
him. This is an Emerson hat. You
see the ribbon is drawn over the crown
and caught with a buckle and bunch
of flowers. Then you turn up the side
with spray of forget-me-nots. Amt
it just too sweetP All the girls in the
school have them.'
How exquisitelly lovely. Tell me
''Oh! almost forgot about diferen-
oAoVlOA. dW IcS1AAy Uuu GAuAy pOSlIlVc-
ly in love with differentiation. It's
different from molecules and proto-
plasms, but it's every bit as nice. And
MIR. Cook! You should hear him go on
about it! really believe he's perfect
~ bound up in it. This scarf is the
Cook scarf. All the girls wear them,
and we named them after him just on
account of the interest he takes in diff
ferentiation.
'What is it, anyway"
''This is null trimmed with Langue-
doc lace
81 don't mean that that other"
"Oh! differentiation! amt it sweet?
It's got something to do with species.
It's the way you tell one hat from an
other, 80 you'll know which is becom-
ing. And we learn all about ascidians,
too. They are the divinest things. Pm
absolutely enraptured with ascidians.
If only had an ascidian of my own,
wouldn't ask anything else in the
world"
"What do they look like, dear? Did
you ever see one?" asked the Brooklyn
girl, deeply interested.
"Oh, no; nobody ever saw one ex-
cept Mr.. Cook and Mr.. Emerson, but
they are something like an oyster with
a reticule hung on its belt. think they
are just heavenly"
"Do you learn anything else besides
all theseP''
"Oh, yes. We learn all about COM
mon philosophy and logic, and those
common things like metaphysics, but
the girls don't care anything about
those. We are just in ecstacies over
differentiation and molecules, and Mr..
Cook, and protoplasms and ascidians,
and Mr.. Emerson, and l really don t
see why they put in those vulgar
branches. If anybody besides Mr.. Cook
and Mr. Emerson had done it we should
have told him to his face that he was
too terribly, awfully mean"
And the Brooklyn girl went to bed
that night in the dumps because fortune
had not vouchsafed her the advantages
enjoyed by her friend. while the Boston
girl dreamed of seeing an ascidian
chasing a molecule over a differentiated
back fence with a club for telling pro-
toplasm that his youngest sister had so
many freckles on her nose that they
made her cross-eyed. Brooklyn Eagle.