The Red Cloud chief., 1880-11-25
HUMOROUS.

WHAT this country want Il less poll
ties and more pumpkin-pic.-EImi
Free Press.
THE hummer who SAYS there is no
enthusiasm III the campaign has not
been asked to drink SO often ~ his de-
sires require ~ o. hcayuae.
"SHg has called me with n full
hand said the hoy whose mother or
dered him into the house while she held
her slipper ready for immediate Use
Boston Globe.
"MARRIEp-fn Chillicothe. Scptem-
Der II, Herbert l.. Rollingstone aud
Emma j. Moss Thus doe. one famil-
lar proverb receive q death blow.-Nco
Karen Register.
ONLY one man out of 1000 In this
country makes daily use Of fractions.
aud yet every school-boy must "a
through the tables rs il the salvation III
his life depended. Detroit Free Press.
Is Car,hage-so the story gocs-
The tender maiicns air
Once bravery furnished strings for bows
BY cutting "a their hair.
But time u revolution brings:
Our bellies, with artful care,
Nov fasten icIur upon their strings
With fresh supplies Of hair
-Scr3u,Ts Brl-I-Irr.
LADY, being asked her age. said:
when | was married | was eighteen
and nv husband WAS thirty. His age
has since doubled. and 50 of course has
mine. That makes me thirty-six."
And she was astonished ut her own
frankness.
II BELIEVE. after ALL" exclaimed
Peterjohn impatienily. ''that a man Is
never so happy as when he is making a
fool of himself 81 must needs re-
spect your superior wisdom" replied
Fred quickly. And great Scott, how
you must have enjoyed yourself through
life, Pe:erjohnr'-Boston Transcript.
THE Philadelphia North american
copies a fashion item. and asks: "By
the way. what is u togue?' IL i'll be-
an editor. whose duty il is To
mold public opinion. to openly exhibit
such a vast fund Of ignorance. Don't
know what a toque is! A toque is-a
toaue-weli. a toque is worn By the Ia
dies. materially differs from a pelisse.
and bears not the slightest resemblance
to 2 fichu dogaresse or n corsage n jeu
decouyert. Now YOU know what n toque
is-and also what il isn't-SorriStOUn
Herald.
OrR notions of what constitutes a
good moral character depend somewhat
on our early education and the aimo-
sphere in which we live. Some one has
said very truly that it is more credi,sble
tn some people to be half decent than
to others To be sanity. A poor Irish
man was asked by n Judge il 3 certain
witness with whom ne prUfessed To be
acquainted was Of good character.
..Well. your honor" was the reply,
she rades the Boible. he plays the fed
die. he niver whips his ould woman.
aud now and thin he takes . dhrop of
good whisky. / don't know what more
you could say for any mann. \.
Herald.
OSE night, a Judge, n military Off
Ger and a minister. all applied for
lodging ST an inn where there was but
one spare bed. and the landlord was
called upon to decide which had the
best claim Of the three. 81 have laid
fifteen wears in The garrison at H." said
the officer. II have sat as Judge
twenty years in r." said the Judge
with your leave gentlemen, ! have
stood in the ministry twenty-five years
at "" said the minister. That settles
this dispute" said the landlord You
Mr.. Captain. have lain fifteen years
You. Mr.. Judge. have sat twenty years
but the aged pastor has stood five
and twenty years. - he certainly has
the best right % the bed" Z