The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-06-17
A Rich Hat Story.

the meanest trick that was ever
played on a white man was played
last week ia this city, and the fact
that there is no vigilance commit
tee here is the only reason the per
petrators of the deed are alive. A
business man had purchased a new
stiff hat, and he went into a sa
loon with half dozen friends to fit
the hat on his head. They all took
beer and. passed the hat around so
all could see il. One of the mean
est men that ever held a county
office went to the bartender and had
thin slice of limburger cheese cut
of, and when The party were look
ing at the frescoed ceiling through
beer glasses, this wicked person
slipped the cheese under the sweat
leather of the hat, and the man put
it on and walked out. The man
who owned the hat is one of your
nervous people, who is always com
planning of being sick, and who
feels as though some dreadful DIS
ease was going to take possession
of him and carry him off. He went
back to his place of business, took
off his hat and laid it on the table,
and proceeded to answer some let
tiers. He thought he detected a
smell, and when his partner asked
him if he didn't feel sick. said he
believed he did. A clerk said it
was evident that somebody's feet
needed washing. The man turned
pale, and said he guessed he would
go home.
He net a man on the sidewalk
who said the air was full of miasma,
and in the street car man who sat
next to him moved away to the end
of the car, and asked him if he had
just come from Chicago. The man
with the hat said he had not, when
the stranger said they were having
a great deal of smallpox there, and
he guessed he would get out and
walk, aad he pulled the bell and
jumped of. The cold perspiration
broke out on the forehead of the
man with a new hat, and he took it
off to wipe his forehead, when the
whole piece of cheese seemed to
roll over and breathe, and the man
got the full benefit of it, and he
came near fainting away. He got
home, and his wife met him and
asked him what was the matter He
said he believed modification had
set in, and she took one Whit, as he
took Off his hat, and said she should
think it had "Where did you get
into it?" said she. sect into itP'
said the man, Il have not got into
anything, but some deadly disease
has got hold of me, and l shall not
live" She told him if any disease
that smelled like that had got hold
of him, and was TO be chronic, she
felt as though he would be a bur
den to himself if he lived very long.
She got his clothes off, soaked his
feet in mustard water, and he slept.
The hat was lying on the center
table, and the children would come
in and get a smell of it and look at
each other with reproachful glances,
and go out and play. The man
slept and dreamed that a smallpox
flag was hung in front of his
house, and that he was riding
in a butcher wagon to the pest
house. The woman sent for doc
tor, and when the man of pills ar
rived she told him all about the
case. The doctor picked up the
patients new hat, tried it on, and
got a sniff. He said the hat was
picked before it was ripe. The
doctor and the wife held a post
mortem examination of the hat, and
found the slice of limberger. Sew
and shor, were the prayers they
said" They woke the patient, and
to prepare his mind for the revela
ton that was about to be made,
The doctor asked him if his worldly
affairs were in a satisfactory condi-
lion. The doctor asked him If he
had made his will. He said he had
not, but that he wanted a lawyer
sent for at once. The doctor ask
ed him if lie felt as though he was
to shuttle off. The man
said be had always tried TO lead a
different life, and had to be done by
the same as he would do it him self,
but that he might have made mis-
AXE some way, and that he would
ike to have a minister sent for to
AXE an account of stock.
Then the doctor brought to the
bedside the hat, opened up the
sweat leather and showed the dying
nan what it was that smelled so,
md told him he was as well as any
nan in the city. The patient
)inched himself to see if he was
live, and jumped out of bed and
jailed for his revolver, and the doc
or couldn't keep up with him on
he way down town. The last we
aw of the odoriferous citizen he
vas trying to bribe the r-tender
o tell MIN which one of those peli-
ans it was that put that slice of
heese in his hat-lInlng.