St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-12-03
SQuibs.

Jerusalem is to have gas, street cars.
passenger elevators and telephone ex-l
change. Je-ru-sa-lem!
If you want to study the immense
variety of the human face in expression,
you should bend your gaze upon the
mobile countenance of deaf and dumb
man when he reaches under the plank,
walk for lost nickel and picks up a.
raw humble bee by the stem.
"What do you eat those horrid mush
rooms for, Matilda ?" asked the dainty
Augustus. 81 don't see how YOU can
bear them. They're nothing but n
nasty fungus, anyway" "That's lust
it," replied the fair Matilda, balancing
bit of the libelled food OH the end Of
her fork; 81 eat them for fun, Gus.n-
Boston Transcript.
"Did you hear about the boy being
washed ashore 2" asked Gillhooly of one
OF the most prominent citizens of Gal
weston. ''No; when did it happen 2"
"Ihls morning" GLOW was it 2" "He
was washed ashore by his mother. You
don't suppose she would take him out
into the middle of the Gulf of Mexico
to wash him do you 7"-[Galveston
News.
A frisky old widow, by the name of
Butler, who had been married several
times, usually with disastrous results to
her husbands, having obtained di-
vorce from her last husband, who was
republican, immediately married a
new husband, who was rising Young
man and democrat. The friends of
the widow congratulated her upon the
acquisition of new husband. The
widow blushed violently, and, chewing
the seam of her apron, replied: "Why
he is not new husband at ALL He is
the same one | used to have before the
war; Galveston News.
Some enthusiastic fashion writer pre-
dicted a revolution in underwear. Well.
a change in such things is necessary.
once in while.-[ Lowell Citizen.
The Locomotive publishes engravings
in each issue showing how boilers look
just after they have exploded. This
doesn't seem to hit the case at all.
What is needed is a picture showing
how boiler looks just before it is 90
ing to explode. We could then learn
how to get out of the way New Ha-
ven Register.
Hahnemann, the founder of the hom-
eopathlc school, was one day consulted
by wealthy English lord. The doctor
listened patiently to the patient. He
took small phial, opened it, and held
it under his lordship's nose. "Smell !
Well, you are cured" The lord asked
in surprise, "How much do owe you ~
"A thousand franes," was the reply.
The lord Immediately pulled out a
bank note and held it under the doctors
nose, "Smell Well, you are paid.n
An sold tar" has recently prepared a
handbook of nautical terms for the
use of persons who intend to follow the
sea. In order to correct popular belief.
our author gravely asserts that the
oerths on board ship do not necessari-
ly add to the census. The hatchways
are not hens nests. The weigh of the
ship is not the extent of her avoirdu
pois. The boatswain does not pipe all
hands with meerschaum. The shin
does not have a wake over a dead calm,
The swell of a ships side is not caused
by dropsy, nor is the taper of a bow
spirit tallow candle. The hold is moi
the vessels grip. The trough of thf
snip is not dug out of the ships log
The crest OF a wave is not the indication
OF It's rank. The buoy is not the cap.
tain's son. The men are not beat to tho
quarters with club. Ships are nevel
boarded at hotels. The bow of ,
ship is not evidence of politeness. A
sailors stockings are never manufact
ured from yarn Of his own spinning
The sails of ship are not made by ~
auctloneer, nor are the stays construct
ed oy mllliner.-tSan Francisco New.
} Letter.