Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1880-03-23
Making Calls.
BY NOSE SKINNER.

Before went off the stage of society
through the trap.dOOr of matrimony l
used to make great many calls. Like
all verdant young men who drift idOti-
cally on to the breakers of married life,
I called mostly on young ladies. And
I thought it was very fine and grand to
do this. and used to put on my best
clothes and prettiest necktie. and castor
oil my hair and brush myself up gener-
ally, and start off thoroughly convinc.
ed that was very genteel and fash
ionable party, and great acquisition
to society. 1 didn't know then that ev.
cry marriageable young man is looked
upon as so much prey to be entrapped,
and the young women who were so glad
to see me were only pieces of bait. And
T didn't know that the old ladies who
made things SO pleasant for me were just
setting the trap as attractively as posi-
BILE, and getting themselves ready to dc
the worrying after the victim was en-
SHARED; warming him up, as 1 might
say, with a little dose of mother-in-
law. .........-...
No. I didn't know this, so used to
march up the steps very frisky, and ring
the doorbell, and inquire for the young
ladies with blind trust and confidence
amounting to stupidity. was even
unconscious of the fact that in some in
stances the old lady was squinting at me
over the banisters, and looking me over
with q view to my value as a conjugal
investment for one of her olivebranches,
previous to sending down word as to
whether said olive-branches were at
home.
I can't say that ever thoroughly en-.
joyed these calls. They were for the
most part very thin affairs, especially
as regards the conversation. The ideas
being very slim and weak, the CONVEX
sation was naturally lean and unheal-
thy, and it was as hard work to get q
fresh subject we'll underway as it ever
was in a dissecting-room. l remember
how struggled to make myself agreea'
BILE by discussing various frothy matters
generally falling back on anecdotes
about my dog Jlp, and my visltlnto To
country last summer. Then l would
glance at the piano in supplicating
way, (how cheerful it is now, by the
way, for me to go in house where there
isn't piano; such houses are scarce,
but you can find 'em, and ask the
young lady in very humble tone II
she wouldn't please play. If she declin-
ed, with shipper, wasn't discourag'
ed. o, no, not even when she said she
was out of practice, and the piano was
out of tune. I flattered myself that l
had travelled, and was up to that dodge,
and SO 1 insisted upon it,
There was one piece of music that l
used to expect regularly, because new
er asked young lady to play some
thing that she didn't play this particu
lar piece the first one. 1t seemed to be
asort of mania with them.-Often. when
left alone for q moment, 1 would bur-
redly look through pile of music to see
if that piece was there, and when l
found it the cold sweat would start cut
On my forehead, for knew l should
have to hear it before could get any
thing else. 1t is called 1.-THE Maiden's
Prayer.n Now, I have nothing to say
against 1.-THE Maiden's Prayer" 1t may
have been very souls-tirring anthe EN-
ia its infancy, but after hearing it three
hundred and forty odd timesI became
impressed with the idea that there was
a samenessyabout it, There is nothing
sparkling or attractive about an old
maiden's prayer. / like fried tripe, for
instance, twenty-0ne times q week, but
for regular diet consider it exhaus-
tive.
But think I finally got hardened to
"The Maiden's Prayer" for when a
person got through playing it. and bid
for a little fiattery by remarking that
they never co mld play that piece, I
would say, very vivaciousiy livery
pretty indeed, and charmingly played.
What is that called? must remember
and get 1t for my sister," which, in the