Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-11-11
How Married Woman Goe. to sleep.

How a Married Woman Goes to Sleep.
There is an article going the rounds
entitled, "How Girls Go, to Sleep"
The manner in which they go to sleep
according to the article, can't hold
candle to the way marrled woman
goes to sleep. Instead OF thinking
what she should have attended TO be-
fore going TO bed, she, thinks Of it
afterward.. While she ia revolving
these matters in her mind, and while
snugly tucked up in bed, the old man
is scratching his legs in front of the
fire, and wondering how he will pay
the next months rent. Suddenly she
says:
"James, did you lock thu door?'
"Which door?' says Jims
"The cellar door," she ssyn.
"No," says James,
well, you had better 60 down
and lock it, for I heard some person
in the back yard last night
Accordingly Jim paddles down stairs
and locks the door. About the time
James returns and is going to get in
to bed, she remarks:
"Did you shut the starr door?"
"No," said James.
swell, if it is not shut the cat will
get up into the bedroom
"Let her come up, then," says
James, ill-naturedly.
''My goodness, no." returns the
wife. ''She'd suck the baby's
breath"
Then James paddles down stairs
again, and steps on tack and closes
the stair door, and curses the cat and
returns to the bedroom. just as he
begins to climb into his couch his
wife observes: .. = .sss. sra
II forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring up some in the big
tin"
And 80 James with muttered
curse goes down into the dark kitchen
and falls over chair and takes all
the tlnware off the wall in search Of
the "big" tin, and then jerks the stair
door open and bowls:
"Where in the deuce are the
matches?''
! She gives him minute instructions
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather go and get the
water herself than have the neighbor-
hood raised about it. After. which
James finds the matches, procures
the water, comes up stairs and pre-
pares himself to retire. Before ac-
complishing this feat his wife suddenly
remembers that she forgot to chain
the dog. A trip to the kennel follows,
and he once more jumps into bed.
Presently his wife says:
''James, let's have an understand
ing about money matters. Now, next
week I've got to pay
81 don't know what you'll have to
pay, and don't care" shouts James,
; as he lurches around and jams his
face against the wall; "all I want
now is Sleep
''That's all very well for you,''
snaps his wife, as she pulls the covers
viciously; ''you never think of the
worry and trouble have"
Brother Gardner on the Theatres.
From the Detroit Free Press.
> When the Lime-kiln club had beer
I called to order the secretary ther
# announced letter from Deacon
Brutus Leatherspoon, of Oberlin
It Ohio, asking the club to use its in
: flucnce to keep colored people from
being contaminated by the vice o
the theatre, and TO warn them agains
attending fairs where horse-racing il
made feature.
81 kin shet my eyes an emagin jis
a what sort of lookin' man dat deacon
am,' said Brother Gardner as b,
g rose up to respond. ''No chile ebe
y laughs in front of bis house. No DO,
q see him comm widout wantin' t
X shy off lie walk. No man shake
N hands wild him widout feelin' q col,
70 chill run up his back. No cats ebe
come to him, an no dog will stay i
"a his house. l wouldn't be shut up il
! ten-acre lot wild him for week fo
al all the money in Detroit. Let m
cay a word about theatricals. d
man or woman, Christian or sinner
who can't visit de theatre widou
feelin' wicked over it, or wideut beir
hurt by it, had better hang UP on
pole 'longside O. dried apples. D
ly man who emagines dat de Lawd pu
p him on airth to carry face like
gc Dutch cheese, an to shet his soul u
IN like an oyster has no biz ness to tur
m aroun' and tell odder folks ho'
7" happy angels am in heaven. As I
ID hoss-racin', it kin be card to e.
IT tremes, same as lots of odder fings
8. but when l find a man who turn
away from a sqnare, honest race
whar de bcs' boss am gwine to VIII
a. l sot him down as chap who sarye
5. de Lawd on Sunday an beats th
grocer an butcher doorln' de balanc