Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-01-17
THE ETIQUETTE OF SOCIAL CALLS.
fHarper's Bazar.l

their being made before dinner, are. more strict
Iy speaking. afternoon calls" as they can
only be made between the hours of and 6
O'Clock.
Calls made in the morning-that is. before one
o'clock-woulu not come under the denomina-
ton OF morning calls" as they can only be
made by intimate friends, and not by acuua in
tances, and are not. therefore. amenabie TO the
rules of etiquette which govern the afternoon
calls. which calls are regulated in a great meas
ure-aS to the hour of calling-by the exact de-
gree of intimacy existing between the person
who calls and the person called upon From 5
to O'Clock Is the cerern0niOns hour for calling;
from TO o'clock Is the semi-ceren,OniOus hour;
and from TO O'Clock Is the wholly friendly
and without ceremony hour.
A considerable difference exists with regard to
Sunday calls, or calling on sundays Ladies'
never pay cPieftOnfons calls on Sundays; 1t
would not be etiquette for an acquaintance to
call on a Sunday-it would rather be considered
In the light OF liberty-unless she were ex-
pressly asked to do so. Intimate friends on the
contrary, often make Sunday an especial day
for calling. and therefore ladies and gentlemen
more especially gentlemen-eXtend their
calling hours from until O'Clock on SUNDAYS
Husbands and wives occasionally pay calls TO-
gether, but oftener they do not. The lady as a
rule, pays call by herself, unless she has a
groNn-up daughter when she would accompany
her mother. Occasionally two ladies' both init
mate with the lady of the house would nav
calls together. family party, of father moth
er and daughter, OF daughters rarely call in
town In body, except under very exceptional
circumstances; but In the country a family
party of three or four would as a matter OF
course, call together; it is country etiquette to
do So.
When lady calls at the house of an ac0uaint-
ance, If driving, her servant would ask "is Mrs
A at homer" If walking, she would ask the
question herself. IL the answer were In the
affirmative. the servant in reply would answer,
Eyes, maam;" II in the negative. the answer
would be. mot at home ma am" Nothing fur
Their would be said by well-mannered servant
as to the whereabouts of the mistress OF the
house: and the lady calling must ask no ques-
tons as to when the lady on whom she is call
ing will be at home, as it Is not considered
good taste to cross-question servants as to their
masters or mistress's movements. II mot at
home" the lady would leave cards.
If the lady OF the house were sat home" the
visitor would enter the house without further
remark: the servant would close the door, and
would then lead the way up stairs to the draw
ing.room. the lady fo'lo,oing the servant, not
walking before him.
If the mistress of the house should not be in
the drawiDg-rOOm the servant would say in
stead of announcing the name of the visitor
''My mistress will be here directly, ma'aQa.n He
would then close the door, and the visitor would
await her coming in the drawing ROOM 1t
would be ill-bred of visitor to make any inqui-
ries of the servant as to chow long his mistress
Will be-" or ''where she Is, ;" or ''what she is do
Ing" etc. Visitors are not expected to converse
with the servants OF their acquaintance on any
topic whatever and should never attempt to
enter into conversation with them.
gentleman when calling, as q matter of
course takes his hat in his hand with him into
the drawing-room. and holds 1t until he has
seen the mistress of the house, and shaken
hands with her. He would either then place
his hat on chair or table near at hand or hold
1t in his hand until he took his leave according
as to whether he felt at ease or the reverse He
would not put his hat on until in the hail. as In
the house a gentleman never puts on his hat in
the presence of its mistress. To leave his hat in
the hall would be considered liberty, and in
very bad taste; only the members OF the family
residing in the same house would leave their
hats I'M the hall or enter the Grawinr-room
without their hats in their hands The fact of
hanging up the hat In the hall proves that the
owner of the hat is at home there.
At sat homes" small O'Clock teas, IuncheonS,
dinners, etc, the rule is reversed, and hats are
left in the hall by invited gueStS-the invitation
constituting the difference. A gentleman
room, or a small umbrella, If it answered the
purpose of a stick. When gentlemen wear
never do except when driving, and in town al
most as seldom, they would draw off the right
hand glove at least before entering the draw
ing-roOm; but if they prefer to remain gloved-
although IL is not so courteous to do So-they
need offer no apology when shaking hands with
the lady. or allude to their gloves In any way.
The mistress OF house should be especially
careful to let her servant know, after luncheon,
OF before the hours for calling, whether she in
tends to be lat home" to visitors or not during
the afternoon.
Not at home" is the understood formula eX-
preSsive OF not wishing to see visitors Not at
home is not intended to imply an untruth, but
it is not desirable to see VISITORS and 1t would
be impossible to explain to acquaintance the
why and the wherefore OF its being tnconvenient
to receive visitors, the formula OF mot at home
is all-sufIicient explanation, provided always
that the servant is able to give direct answer
at once OF Not at home" when the query Is pu
to him. II, on the contrary, the servant is net
sure as to whether his mistress wishes TO see
visitors or not, it is almost direct offense to
the lady calling If the servant hesitates TO his
answer. and leaves her either sitting In her car
rage or standing In the hail. while He viii see
If his mistress is at home,' perhaps returning
with the unsatisfactory answer that she is mot
nj 10 no invt play
received as a personal exclusion rather than as
a general exclusion of visitors.
II a lady is dressing to go out when a visitor
calls. the servant can mention that fact to
visitor calling, and offer to ascertain If his mis-
tTesS will see the caller: and the caller would
use her own discretion as to whether she will
allow him to do so or not; but unless the visit is
one OF impoi lance, it would be best in such a
case only to leave cards
A servant must never be permitted TO say that
his mistress IS engaged with a lady or with
gentleman when second visitor calls, but
usher the second caller into the drawing-roOm,
as he had previously done the first caller, He
must on no account inquire as TO whether his
mistress Will see the second caller or not
Neither must he inform the second caller as to
whether any one is or is not with his mistress
as ignorant servants are too apt to do.
Ii the mistress OF the house Is In the drawing
room when the visitor is announced-and she
should so arrange her occupations as always to
be found there on the afternoons when she in
tends being lat home" should visitors call-she
would rise come forward, and shake hands with
ueT she NOulu ask ner VlSllOr 10 be
seated, or 20 take seat" or where she would
like TO sit" or (which seat she would prefer"
etc, but would at once sit down and expect her
Visitor 10 DO the same which, II she were WELL
bred she wOJildat once do. as near to the hos
tess as possible.
One point 10 guard against in morning calls"
is .'fuSsy deIneanor on the part OF either host
eSS or visitor. as morning CALI Is Oftener than
not tete0-trie. and tete-G-tete between two per-
sons but slightly acquainted with each other re-
qLlires considerable amount OF tact and sarOif-
rirre to be gracefully sustained, each lady being
more or less on the alert TO discover the merits
or dement's OF the other. A fussy woman Is OF
necessity an iilbred woman, as she is without
repose, without dignity, and without sdrOii-
TfUTe.
1t would betray that the hostess was not
much accustomed to society IL she should at
tempt TO 1E'n$a her visitor by the production of
albums, photographs, books, Illustrated news
papers, portfolios OF drawings, the artistic
efforts OF the members OF the family, and the
like. conversation being all that Is necessary.
without having recourse TO pictorial displays OF
Such a commonplace order. II not intimate
enough 10 refer 10 family matters the CONVEX
saion should turn on light topics OF the hour.
Persons unused TO society. and not possessing
the art OF conversing with ease are ant to fail
back upon these adventurous aids. 1t would not
be considered good style TO do so, although 1t
would not De precisely vulgar. The hostess
SHOULD rely solely upon her own powers OF con-
Versatlon TO make the short quarter OF an hour
which Is the limit OF a cermOnlous calI-pass
lN l,..r, N,Gs-