The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-08-03
The Jiners.

she was aDOut 1Orty-nVe years Oil, well
dressed had black hair, rather thin. and
tinged with gray, and eyes In which gleam-
ed tho fires Of determination not to DO
easily baked. She walked into Major
Husv's office, and requested private inter
view, and having obtained it, and satisfied
herself that the law students wore not lis
and ilnpressively:
81 want divorce"
"What for2 supposed you had one of
the best OF husbands" said the Major.
81 s'pose that's what ever thinks,
but if they knew what I've in ten
years they'd wonder l hadn him
long ago. ought to, but 70. .ke of
the young ones I've borne it ana said no.
thing. I've told him, though, what he
might depend on, and now the times come,
l won't stand it, young ones or no young
ones I'll have a divorce, and If the neigh
bors want to blab themselves hoarse about
1t they can, for l won't stand it another
day." ...'
''But what's the matter2 Don't your
husbapd provide for you2 Isn't he true to
you7 Don't he treat you kindly2" pursued
the lawyer.
"We get victuals enough, and l don't
know but he's rs true and kind as men in
general, and he's never knocked none OF
US down. l wish he had, then I'd get him
into Jail, and know where he was nights"
rctorted the woman.
''rhen, what's your complaint against
him p
"Well, if you must know, he's one Of
them plaguey jiners.'
IA what2"
ga jlncr-one Of them pesky fools that's
always iining something. There can't no.
thing come along that's dark and SLY and
hidden, but he'll jinc it. If anybody should
get up society to burn his house down,
he'd jine it just rs soon as ho could get In,
and if they had to pay to get in, he'd go
all the suddencr. We hadn't been married
nlore'n two months before he jincd the
w-Nothin's. We lived on a farm then,
and every Saturday night he'd come tear.
in III before supper, grab tistful of nut
cakes, and 60 Off knawin' 'em, and that's the
other night he rolls and tumble in his sleep,
and holler, Put none but Americans on
guard-Gcorge Washington and on rainy
days he'd 20 out into the corn barn and
iab at picture of the Pope with un old
bagnet that was there. ought to put my
foot down then; but he fooled NE 80 with
his lies about the Pope's coming 10 make
all Yankee girls marry lrishmen, and to
eat UP all the babies that warn't born with Il
cross on their foreheads, and let him 60
on, and encouraged him in it.
"Thcn he jined the Masons. P'raps You
know what them be, but don't, 'cept they
think they're the same kind of critters that
built Solomon's Temple, and took care Of
his concubines; and of all the darned nom
sense and CAB about worshipful mas aud
squares and compasses and sich, that we
had in the house for the next Blk months,
you never SEQ the beat. And he's. never
outgrowed it, nuther. What do you think
of man, Squire that'll dress hissef in
white apron, bout big enough for mon
keys bib, and 20 ma ching up and down,
and making motions and talking the foolish
est lingo to picture of George Washington
III a green jacket, and truss on his stom-
ach7 Ain't he a loonystick2 Well, that's
my Sam, al I've stood 1t as long as I'm
goin' to.
''The next lunge the fool made was into
the Odd Fellows. made it warm for him
when he came home and told me he'd
jined them but he kinder piciaed me by
telling me that they had sort of branch
show that took in women, and he'd get me
III as soon rs he found out how to do it,
Well, one night he come home and said I'd
been proposed, and somebody had black
balled me. Did it hisselt, of course
Didn't want me round knowing to his 60
ings on. OF course he didn't, and told
him 80.
"rhon he 1lned the Sons of Matter
Didn't say nothing to me about 1t. but
sneakcd off one night, pretentlin' he'd got
to set up with sick Odd Fellow; and I'd
never found it out, only, only he came
home looking like man that had been
through a threshing machine, and l
wouldn't do thing for him till he owned
up. And 80 its gone from bad to wus, and
from wus to wusser, jinln' this and that
and t'other, till he's Worship Minister Of
the Masons. and Goddess of Hope of the
Odd Fellows. and Sword Swalower Of the
Mnnigans, and Virgin Ceres OF the Grange,
and Grand Mogul Of the Sons of Incidence,
and Two Edged Tomahawk of the United
Order of Black Men, and 1ale-Hcarer of
the Merclful Maniltlns, and Skipper of the
Guild of Caratrlne Columbus, and Big Wiz
ard of the Arabian Nights, and Pledge
Passer of the Reform Club, and Chief Bull
ger of the Irish Machinists, and Purse
keeper OF the order of Canadian Conscience,
and double -Barreled Dictator, of the
Knights of the Brass Circles, and Standard
Bearer of the Royal Archanglos, and Sub
lime Porte of Onion League, and Chamber.
maid Of tho Fortified Suckers, and
Celestial Chprubs, and Puisant Potcntage
and the Lord only knows what else. I've
borne IL and borne it, hopin' he'd get EN- all
jincd after awhile, but faint no use; and
when he'd got into a new, one, and been
made Grand Gu de of the Nights of Horror,
i told him I'd quit; and will"
Here the Major interrupted, saying:
"Well, your husbapd IS pretty well
initiated that's fact; but the court will
hardly call that good cause for divorce.
The most Of the societies you mention arc
composed of honorable mon, and have cx-
cellent regulations. Many of them, though
called lodges, are relief associations and
mutual insurance companies, which, if
your husband should die, would take care
of you, and would not see you suffer If you
were sick" ~.
'See me suffer when l am sick Take
| r \. 3. 4 n