St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1880-10-16
THE AMBIDEXTROUS RE-
PORTER.

The Kansas City Times says:
There is reporter at the Times
office who writes with equal rapid
ity with either hand. He is an am
bidexter, and q bold, bad one ut
that When there is rush of work
at the office, and the devil is shout
ing copy" like a fend incarnate,
this useful reporter sits down at his
desk in full company front, and with
pencil in each hand, sings off To-
cal happenings by the yard. He
writes on two she is at once, and
don't let his right hand know what
his left hand is driving at, but it's
driving ahead, all the same.
Recently he got q little of his
mental base, and attempted to write
up dog fight and a wedding in
high life at the same time. He got
things mixed. His hands IAN clear
away with the gray matter in his
skull, and things became terribly
confused This IS the way his
items te!escoped each other.
At Grace Church, last night, the
nuptals of Mr.. Thomas johnson
and Miss Julia Lawrence were cele-
brated in most magnificent style,
a costly floral horseshoe being di-
rectly over the altar, and when the
yellow cur saw the flames Of anger
darting from the eyes of the briR-
die fyste, he opened with the strains
Of the wedding march. As the
handsome couple walked down the
aisle, the excited crowd began to
get frantic, and there were yells of
Sick 'em Bull" "At him now,
Towser," as the spectators became
interested in the fight. The bride
was elegantly attired in pure white
garments of the NEST costly fabric,
and she wore the traditional white
veil and wreath of orange bios
SONS had him by the neck, and his
tongue began to lou ont and his
eyes to turn somersaults as if in
customary black dress suit, white
gloves, and ears cropped close to
his head. He was disreputable
looking dog in the beginning, and
ought to have been whipped for be-
ing SO homely. He is of good family,
and is engaged in one Of the most
extensive manufacturing establish
ments in the West. But the yellow
cur seemed to be getting the advan-
tage, and now succeeded in getting
a death grip on the throat Of the
big brlndle. and when he tenderly
kissed the bride according to the
ancient custom, his back was COW
cred with mud and his off hind leg
was terribly chewed up. Among
The costly presents received by the
happy pair were fine grand piano
rom the father of the bride, hair
lad been scalded from his back,
md one eye seemed to have been
struck with an augur. After a
short bridal tour the happy couple
will settle down to one of the hard
,st-iought battles the reporter ever
and it was difficult to
ell which dog had been punished
worst. The fight ended at exactly
..4S, after having been bitterly con-
ested Mt the residence of the brides
parents. and he was taken to his
'wner's home in awheelbarrow. He
sill probably never recover, and il
ie does will bc totally blind, besides
'eing permanently lame in the left
ind leg; the beautiful bride re-
eived the congratulations OF host
+ friends. The groom is one of
ur most promising young men, and
is owner breads the possibility of
)sing him, rs he fears that he can
ever replace him. The father
f the bride is one of our wealthiest
lerchants, and the yellow fysts
mped off with knowing look in
IS eye ana saucy curl in his tail.
S much as to say, ''Who else wants
, try me?'
The ambidexter was summarily