Litchfield enquirer., 1880-11-18
CLIPPINGS.

Poe the greatest American poet must be raven
mad"
''May Christian laugh?" inquiries the
New York Sun in headline Well. we
shout Id smile. SO d N @ E#
The telegraph tells: ausE she Kurds nave
fallen back whiels perhaps, indicates liat
the whey is clear. = 'ss'a VS.
How do you define black as your hat ?"
said schoolmaster to one of his pupils.
Darkness that may be felt" replied the
youthful wit. +f5.i sy&{ II
A dull old lady, being told that certain
lawyer was lying at the point Of death, ex-
claimed: ''My gracious. won't even death
stop that mans lying 7"
Give the wicked Bernhard wide berth -
cries New York exchange What for !?
She's thin and can get along with a narrow
one. Give the wide berth to David Davis.
Many man who can pack caucus to per.
lection takes a back seat and lets his wife
come to the front when there is occasion to
pack a trunk.
An insignificant little barreLhoop lying
up,n the sidewalk has been known to yank u
man right out of the bosom of the church and
hurl him into the ranks of backsiders.
Said democrat, who is produce dealer,
this forenoon: ~ notice that apples. since
the election of Garfield, are Just as wormy as
they were before. a'And democrats
more so, !" was the quick response,
A Californian's matrimonial advertisement
winds up as follows: Fortune no object,
but should require the gals relations to de-
post $l 900 with me as security for her good
behavior"
- e~e- 6~~s -, -. @-49 k--s
The Cleveland Plaindealer, dem., put its
rooster upside down, with the inscription
'Our address is Salt River; we have been
there before and know, the country thorough
ly"igii- =. - ~~H II ~ ~% -.
Father Charley, l see no improvement In
your Sunday School marks - Charley
Eyes, papa; it is high time you had a seri-
GUS talk with the teacher, or else he'll keep on
that way forever"
Two mothers were Boosting of the smart
ness of their babies. Way. said one,
when my baby cries it puts the telephone to
! its mouth and can hear it way down in the
parlor."
A young lady of two-and-twenty years re.
fused to wed man of fifty, saying that he
was neither one thing nor another. He was
too old for a huSpand and too young to hold
out any hope of immediate widowhood.
There is talk of starting line of street cars
between Jerusalem and the Mount of Olives.
What would Solomon have said to this? Wise
man as he was, he knew nothing about the
fearfully and wonderfully constructed bell
punch.
l-Spea king of Mr.. Forbes's lecture on s'Kings
l Have Met" western newspaper says tina,
| some day he will come across three kings and
| pair OF sevens and then he will learn some.
thing about the really great resources OF this
| country. 's.l
An excited old gentleman, upon the re.
neig hber: where's your democratic party
| now Z" The reply was ''gone to hi" A
good old Methodist brother quietly remarked
''Home at last"
My case is just here" said citizen to a
lawyer the other day; the plaintiff viii
| swear that bit him. | viii swear that id
not. Now, what can you lawyers make out
OF that if we 60 to trial9" Five dollars
apiece" was the prompt reply.
When Mr. Maginnis's attention was called
to the molten lava flowing from the crater of
Mount Vesuvius, on his first and only visit to
the land OF hand-organs, he very naturally
asked how the poor crater came to overload
| its shtomach so dridfully."
There was an old person named Tanner,
Who hoisted the starvation banner,
And got off his feed,
In what we think, indeed,
A very ridiculous manner.
must tell you of conversation l over
heard at Manhattan Beach between two child
| rem who were playing in the sand together.
The small boy said to the little girl: do
you wish TO be my little 5wife?" The little
girl, 4 after rejecting: "Yes." The small
boy: ''Then take of my boots"
Sergeant Have you cleared every
-, politician off the island ?' ''Yis,
surr!" "Well, now, double your guard and
pitch every mothers son of them overheard
that tries to land. and get the island cleaned
off as quick as you cant" "Yis. SURF l"TExit
sergeant, with smile visible at the back of
his neck.
$50 you enjoyed your visit to the menag.
erie, did you?" inquired young Sillabub of his
adored ones little sister. 20, yes; and, do
you know, we saw a camel there that screwed
IFS mouth and eyes awfully, and sister said
it looked exactly as you do when you
are reciting poetry at the church socia-
bles."
Rev. Mr.. Spurgeon was once annoyed by
three yhung men perssting in wearing their
hats in church. He appeared for a time not
to notice them, but proceeded to tell his aud
fences of visit he had paid to Jewish syna-
gogue "When entered" he said, II took
off my hat, but was informed that the great
mark of respect was to keepit on. did 3d.
though assure you felt very strange wearing
my hat in place of worship. And now, as |
paid that marko of respect to the synagogue,
may ask those Jews in the gallery to con-
form equally to our rules and kindly uncover
their heads?" Which was enough.
The Republican girls of Smith College,
Northampton. Mass, who greatly outnumber
the Democrats, had pleasant meeting at
Gymnasium Hall there the other evening,
blue. Professors Phelps and Tyler addressed
them in reference to the Republican victories
ID the election. The girls sang songs adapted
to the occasion. During the exercises in
marched seventeen young ladies of the oppo-
site political faith clad in mourning and mask.
ed with black, and took their place ina row
on one side of the hall. The incomers were
greeted with the dirge 30, why did Hancock
die ?" which was kept up until they became
SO tired that they sat down upon the floor
FROM THE DANBURy NEWS.
Burglars forced an intrance into the house
OF fPhilo Bevin, East Hampton. election night,
and stole two albums-the only instance of
the kind on record in the history Of this coun-
try.
The Norwich Star asks If there are glaciers
on the face of the moon? We hope voters
will not have their attention turned from the
vital questions of the hour by such a subter-
fuge.
Frank Grant, Of New Preston, wasra arrested,
for stealing his own COW. Mr.. Grant refused
to take anybody else's COW, but it was neces-
sary to arrest somebody last week. and SO he
was hauled in, and New Preston's fair name