The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-10-07
PITH AND POINT.
SOMETHING to lie about-A bed.
HnAp c1erks Rorhora, assistants

SUBMITTING 10 lie aDOuG-A DoO.
HnAD clerks BARRIERS assistants. .--.s,
A PARTIALLY deaf man has the Hey
fever. sEs5 4
A GOOD whisky sling Sling the bot.
tie out the window after it is empty.
WHAT did Mary say to her little lamb
when she sent it out to grass in the
evening? She said, Eve go to sup
per-" XII 1 TX
A MUSICIAN wants to know how to
strike a bee fiat and at the same time
avoid being stung by its demisemi-
quaver.
You've man, don't try totforget your
identify and become somebody else for
the other chap is almost sure to be an
inferior person.
Is THAT deer park over there /? S
asked gentleman OF laborer. Eyes"
he replied, % a very dear park. It al
most ruined the owner to fix it up"
A LADY being asked how old she was
K replied:a ttIf was married at 49,; my
husband was then 80. Now he is twice
rs old that makes me twice 18. I'm
4 36. ....,.,,...
The young physician returns from his
vacation to find his patients lively as
crickets. He inwardly vows that he will
staytat home and attend to business
hereafter. 80 IS II fauga e 4a-
~ AN old angler says that fish does not
suffer much from being hooked. OF
course not. It is the thought Of how his
-ssEeight will he lied about that causes
anguish. 81 @@s5 Z" $50, n
LORD BRoUGHAM once, when he was in
facetious mood, being asked to define
q lawyer, said !: "A lawyer is learned
gentleman, who rescues your estate
from your enemies and keeps it him
self. -
HR went into drug store and said to
the dentist "You pulls out mitout
y pain?" Certainly" "What does dat
cost2o Gone dollar" "Py shiminy
You drinks dat don't hurt none, ply gra-
eiousw .Ha -al Z -DHj@eat tE
A NORTH CAROLINA man will work
four hours to chop down tree that a
IF coon is in, but nothing would induce
him to split up enough wood to cook the
supper with. The latter proceeding
INIT sport.
III THE Prince of Wales two sons are
somewhat lively. While on sea voy-
age recently, the younger was heard to
exclaim: "Come, bub, tune up your
fiddle and give us, God save your old
grandmother. :" 'r..4 .ta.u''f
But, you know, pa,'' said the farm
er's daughter, when he spoke to her
about the address of his neighbours son,
"you know, pa, that ma wants me to
marry man of culture. :" $50 do I,
y.dear- SO do I; and there's no better
culture in the country than agriculture.
IS Z D1MP1Es, you know, soon turn to
wrinkles said Swilton to dimpled
darling. "That cant possibly concern
you, SIR she replied. How to turn
Il wrinkles into dimples would be more in
a teresting to you, should think. And,
by the way, what q. crop some persons
could raise, couldn't they?" u.s." e'"
sF8 Is YOUR programme full, Miss Beetle
4 crusher p asked young man of a West
ern damsel who had just struggled out
OF asrefreshment room with disappoint-
ldment in her eye and an ''order Of dances"
Yin her hand. Programme full ?" said
" the daughter of the setting sun. ss;Waal,
j guess. notl I hain't had nothin' but a
piece of cake and an ice-cream, an they
don't 60 far toward filling my pro-
grarnme, can tell you. Boston Com.
maercial.
PENNSYLVANIA has expended thus far
a nearly $4,000 in suppressing pleuro-
pneumonia, Of which sum $2.365
were paid for. killing $50 animals infect
ed with the disease. Over 5000 exam
nations were made, and the special
agent is said to have travelled nearly H.
900 miles in the performance Of his call
Z ing. Maryland has been considered the
principal source of infection, but, as the
State has now in operation law for the
. suppression OF the disease similar to that
In force in Pennsylvania, it is believed
that its spread in that State will be ef-
fectually prevented. CO..
THE hemlock forests of Canada are
being rapidly destroyed. The bark for
home consumption is 100000 cords, and
lO6,374 cords are exported annually.
The Montreal Board of Trade calculates
that ,25O, 900 trees are cut, and that
fifteen years OF the same destruction
will wipe the forests entirely out. 70
check the demand, efforts will be made
at the next Parliament to impose, an ex-
port duty of So per cord. --.-.-.----.-.-.--.--.z
The umbrella as q lightning-rod will
not probably come into general use.
But Gen. Fay, of Elizabeth, n. T., was
in Newark, during shower, and, while
passing in front of church that was
struck by lightning, the fluid burned
several holes in his umbrella, and ran
down the ribs, passing off without in
juring him. He exhibited the umbrella
to his friends, who found that its future
usefulness is greatly impaired until it
gets repaired. .-. .----...-. ...--
If there should be a wool famine
within ayear or two, there would be-
nothing in the fact that would surprise
some OF the principal authorities upon
wool matters. Rot has carried off many
sheep IN England and on the continent,
and it is said that sheep are in numbers
tar below the average. It may be that
the American wool grower is at last
about to find his reward for having chung
patiently to his sheep through the long
period Of low prices. FL
RUSSIA has 650,0 hereditary mobiles
and $50, 600 whose titles expire with
them. sse@ e'@+ 'pt a2.E1 ~ 3g.E !.