The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-09-02
Spoopendyke's Bathing Suit.

think L would be greatly benehted TINS
Summer by sea baths. Bathing in the
surf is an excellent tonic, and if you will,
my dear, make me up suit, and one
for yourself, if you like, we'll so down
often and take a dip in the waves"
1.-The very thing" smiled Mrs. Spoop
endyke, "you certainly need something
to tone you UP, and there's nothing like
salt water. think I'll make mine Of
blue flannel, and let me see, yours ought
to be of red, my dear"
81 don't think you caught the exact
DRIFT of my remarks" retorted Mr..
Spoopenkyke, ~ didn't say 1 was going
into the opera business, Or that l was
going to hire out to some country vii
lage as confagration. My plan was
to go in swimming, Mrs. Spoopendyke,
to go in swimming, and not grow up
with the country as a cremation furnace.
You can make yours of blue, if you
want it, but you don't make mine Of red,
that IS ALL"
There's pretty shade of yellow fan
mel"
Mos. Individually, Mrs. Spoopenkyke,
but if you think I'm going to masquer-
ade around Manhattan Beach in the Ca
pacity of ham, you haven't yet seized
mv,idea. don't apprehend that l shall
benefit by the waters any more by look
ing like Santa Cruz rum barrel. What
1 want is bathing suit ; and if YOU
can't get me one up without making me
look like Fulton street car, I'll go and
buy something to suit me"
"Would you like it all in one piece,
or do you want pants and blouse !"
81 want suit easy to get in and out
of. I'm not particular about following
the fashion. Make UP something neat.
plain and substantial, but don't stick any
fancy colors into it. l want it modest
and serviceable."
Mrs. Spoopendyke made up the suit
under the guidance of lady friend,
whose aunt had told her how it should be
constructed. 1t was in one piece and
when completed was rather a startling
garment.
"Ill try it on tonight" said Mr..
Spcopendyke, cycling it askance when it
was handed to him.
Before retiring, Mr.. Spoopendyke ex-
amined the suit, and began to get INTO it
"Why didn't you make some legs to
itl Why dye want to make it all arms
for r he inquired, struggling around to
see why it didn't come up behind.
you've got it on sideways" exclaimed
Mrs. Spoopendyke. "You've got one
leg IN the sleeve"
1--we got it on sideways? There amt
any top to it. Don't you know enough
to put the arms where they belong.
What dye think l am, anyhow! A
star fish, Where does this leg go?"
Fright in there. That's the place for
that leg"
Then where's the les that goes into
this holel'
"Why, the other leg
The measely thing is all legs. Who'd
YOU make this things for-me What
dye take me fer, centipede Who
else is going to get in here with me l
amt twins. can't fill this business up.
What dye call it, anyway, family ma
chine p
CHOSE ether places amt legs they're
sleeves"
"What are they doing there Why
amt they up here, where they belong
What are they there for, snow-shoes
S'pose I'm going to stand on my head TO
get my arms in those holes ?"
~ don't think you got it on right"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke. at looked
twisted"
That's the way you told me-" You
said .Put this leg here, and that one
there, and there they are. Now here
10 they go"
81 made it according to the pattern"
,ighe1 Mrs Spoopendyke.
Then it's all right, and it's me that's
!: visited" sneerel Mr.. Spoopendyke,
SRI have my arms and legs altered. All
1 want is to have my leg damned into
the small of my back, and my arms
ssuck into my hips; then it'll fit. What
did you take for a pattern-a crab :
Where'd you find the lobster you made
this from S'pose I'm going into the
water on all foursl l told you wanted
bathing suit, did II Did | say
anything about chair covert
81 think if you take it off and try it
on over again, it'll work, reasoned Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
fsvA %