Northern tribune. [volume] (Cheboygan, Mich.) 1875-1885, 1880-10-30
A SUCCESS.
Mrs. HigsinbOffom's Effort to Make
Home Attractive.

Mrs. HigginbOffom's Effort to Make
Home Attractive.
From the New York Times.
Mrs. HigginbOttOm, as a first step.
visited her husbands faverite concert
saloon under the protection of a disguise
and detective officer. When she had
learned what were the attractions which
most powerfully appealed to Mr.. Higgin-
bottoms mind, she proceeded to repro
duce them as far as practicable in her
own house. She had the parlOr carpet
taken up and the bare floor nicely Sprink-
led with beer and stumps of cigars. She
removed the pictures from the walls, and
hung in their places cheap and gaudy
chrOmOs representing impossible young
woman i'm undesirable costumes. Two
dirty wooden tables and supply of wood
en- chairs from the kitchen completed
the furniture of the room, and it began
to assume a really attractive appear
ance.
Before the hour of her husbands re-
turn from his business, Mrs. HigginbOt-
tom hired man to play on an accOr-
dion and another to torture violin, be-
sides three professional drunkards of
great indecency of appearance and con-
duct. and notorious burglar kindly
furnished for the occasion by the police
captain of the precinct. There were in
the kitchen two Irish girls who were de-
cidedly ugly, but were clean, decent and
modest girls. These two she instructed
in the art of serving beer and spirits,
and dressed them in costumes that were
extremely vulgar, though they could not
be said to be improper. Having thus ar
ranged all things. she met her husband
at the door and escorted him to the din
ing-rOOm, where he ate his dinner, I'M
conscious of the Transformation there
had been wrought in his front parlOr.
After dinner Mr.. HigginbottOm Lit his
cigar and remarked that he must go out
for an hour or two to see friend. His
wife, with sweet smile, told him that
he need not go out, for she finally dis
covered how to make home attractive to
him. So saying, she showed him into
the parlOr and led him to seat at one
of the dirty tables. The fiddler and the
accordion player Immediately struck up;
the drunkards, at sign from Mrs. Hig-
ginbOttOm, began to swear and wrangle,
and the burglar sidled up to Mr.. Higgin-
bottom and invited him to take drink.
The two Irish girls brought beer and
spilled it on MIR. Higginbottom's table;
the called him Dear" and asked him to
'Open bottle of wine," and Mrs. Hig-
ginbOttOm, apOlOgizing for the fact that
they were undeniably decent girls, as
sured her husband that nevertheless she
was confident that she had finally learn
ed how to make home attractive; that
she hoped to spend many jolly evenings
with him, and would like a hot whisky
without any further delay.
Mr.. HigginbOttOm was at first COM
pletely dazed, but in few moments he
recovered his reason. He ordered the
girls to go into the kitchen, and stay
there, and he pitched the drunkards out
OF the front door and ordered the must
clans and the burglar to follow them.
| Then he informed his wife that he had
been an idiot of the very largest size,
and that if she would restore the parlOr
to its former condition he would stay at
home and make no further complaint of
its want of attractiveness.