Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-11-19
Detroit Currency.

way in hower-pot. g. +. TRAIN.
Apples are so cheap in Ohio that it
doesn't pay the wind to blow EN-
down.
Auburn and sunburn has been two
Of tie most popular shades the past
summer.
1t now takes Sl4 in Turkish money
to pay for staying over night in Turk
ish hotel.
Private Dalzell has written $1,000
newspaper articles for the newspaper
waste baskets.
Drummers for Cincinnati pork houses
call themselves travelling tourists and
carry sketch. books.
Won't somebody lend the Prince of
Wales little something? He is trifle
over $4,000, 900 in debt.
This is tho time for o paragraph to
the effect that corn is selling for fifteen
cents bushel in Texas.
No one ever knew an American so
mean that he wouldn't second the mo.
ton, no matter what it was.
A Syracuse burglar upset bottle Of
turpentine and the family scented his
presence aad made him git.
A political speaker who addresses
thirteen men and dog yells just as
loudly as one who speaks to 5000
voters.
Colorado stage robbers permit each
victim to retain enough money to buy
lottery ticket and a drink of good
whisky.
There is only one man in New York
who knows when the Brooklyn bridge
is to be completed, and he is deaf and
dumb.
New Haven has been giving her town
paupers Turkish baths to get their ap-
petites in good order for the winter
campaign.
A Californian with a vineyard any
smaller than the State of Rhode Island
would be looked upon as o one horse
interloper.
Binghamptsn is digging the founda-
ton for depot and unearthing dozens
of Indian skeletons. Can't some one
get up pathetic wail9
The paints, powders and washes used
by st. Louis belle last year would
have purchased thirty-three corn shell.
ers and a windmill.
Now that fall is here and winter not
far away it seems our duty to say that
bathing before breakfast is very in.
furious to the general system.
England may have the biggest navy,
but France has 10000, 900 hens who
make it plumb up and down business
to lay an egg apiece daily.
The signal observer on the top of
Pixies Peak is about as useful as hold
back straps on bureau drawer. Who
cares what the weather is up there?
The sun has passed the equator and
all prudent families will take in their
clothes-line and put the tubs where
they will catch the most water.
England has been eight months learn
ing to check baggage on the American
plan, and 1t will take her year to find
out whether she likes it or not.
Farmers in Portugal pillow with sticks
and hoe corn with board, because
their fathers and grandfathers did.
Filial affection could go no farther.
California has grapes enough to make
IA 100000 gallons of pure wine, but
they will add 4 ,000, 900 gallons of water
and never feel sting of conscience.
The Gear has become so nervous that
the sound of wash boiler falling
down stairs at midnight will raise him
out of bed before it strikes the third
stair.
The City Council of Manchester,
England, has ordered all the omnibus
drivers to shave off their mustaches,
SO they can be told from English gen.
tlemen.
Wisconsin is now digging up petri-
fed honey-comb for a change. These
things are good enough for relics, but
good mess pork is what counts in the
long run.
A Baltimore court has held that a
person who gets his or her ear injured
while listening at key-hole has legal
right to damages, if not damaged
enough already.
The police of Columbus, O., must
be sharp fellows. They arrest man
who il thinking of robbing q bank, /"
and another as he is "about to forge
his fathers name."
The Boston Post has tried 'em all,
and says that there is no language like
the French in which to call man bad
nsmes and talk SO fast that he has no
chance to reply.
DR.. Tanners halls are about as
empty as his stomach was on the thirty.
fifth day of his fast. The people of
this country can tell charlatanism from
science at glance.
When the French first got hold of
the word tramp" they made it ap.
ply to every man who wore a white
plug hat, and that style of head gear
soon went out of wear.
| They call this the harvest moon.
That is, farmers sit on the porch of an
evening, and by its light cuss Fate that
they didn't raise but twenty-five bush
els OF wheat to the acre.
Women have cheek enough to wear