davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
Gone BY.

The days are gone by in which spade
might be called a spade; now, every
things in name. Clerks do not wish
to be styled clerks, pure and simple, but
to be set forth as with" Messrs. So and
So. Bar-keepers demand to be consid-
cred s'in the wine business, and drivers
of lager-beer wagons to be styled sin the
brewery business" No doubt by the
same token, venders of matches ask to
be enumerated as ''lumber merchants"
and brick-layers, We are assured, con-
stantly request to be written down as
s.masons and builders. Circus riders
and negro minstrels pretty universally
ask to be catalogued as sin the dramatic
profession" Commercial travellers are
found to be variously entered as '.im-
porters" and ''jobbers." The dashing,
if somewhat diaphanous, disguise where
by dealers in faro-banks and blacklegs
generally are prone to describe them
selves as sporting men" is not, we be-
lieve, allowed in the census, although
between it and the foregoing the differ
ence is perhaps only one of degree. Se@
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
why They Called Him Lawyer.

In Mississippi court, o colored man
sued noighbor for damages for killing
his dog. Colonel M. .defendants lawyer,
called Sam Parker, n colored gent, to
prove that the dog was a avofthess cur
Tor whose destruction no damage ought
TO be recovered.
Colonel M.-Sam, did you know this
dog?
Sam--Yes, sab, / wer' pussonally ac-
auainted wild dat dog.
"well, tell the jury what sort Of dog
he was"
"He wer' big yaller dog"
"What was he good for"
"well, he wouldn't hunt; he wouldn't
do no gyard duty; he jes lay roun' an
eat. Dat make EN- call him wat dey
dic; awou, .irtxSa lia shSs ssli iin~c
'Dey called him LaDyer. sab.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
AlllgatOrs In Brazil.

Enormous numbers of alligators have,
il appears, been observed frisking along
the lower courses and in the marginal
swamps and lakes of the Amazon, and
even ms cork trees inthe benetcent econ
omy Of nature, grow up, expand, and
develop n bulky epidermis or bark, foi
the preordained purpose of stopping bot
ties, so, no doubt, are these amiable rep
tiles accredited with a mission of utility
TO the manufacturers of port-monnaies,
card-cases, shooting-boots, and other ar
ticles fabricated of the now fashionable
alligator skin. A Brazilian paper
shrewdly draws the attention of wealthy
and unoccupied Englishmen to this re-
markable increase in the ground game of
n charmingly salubrious, though some
what sultry district, an industrial enter
prise of great profit might, It is sug-
gested, be combined with excellent
sport, and as the idea is disappearing
in England that the land can not mich
longer support both the farmers and the
rabbits, what could be better than q
migration Of sportsmen to the equatorial
home of the noble alligator, whose hide
is natural target for rifle practice, and,
il not too much riddled by bullets, is in
brisk commercial demand, and rules high
in the quotations of the leather market
Where the alligator frisks and frolics
there the stealthy turtle pEowls, and
despite his fnrtive habits, fails an easiei
prey to the wilisr and more Intelligent
hunter. A daring and agile Alderman
with n brace of rifles, good legs anG
lungs, q salamandarine constitution, and
no objection to mosquitoes, might stall
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
Wedding Pin Lore.

Among the superstitions about pins
is that the bride, in removing her bridal
robe and chaplet at the completion of the
marriage ceremony, must take especial
care to throw away every pin worn on
this eventful day. Evil fortune, it IS
affirmed, will sooner or later Inevitably
overtake the bride who keeps even one
pin used in the marriage toilet Woe
also to the bridesmaids if they retain amy
of them, rs their chances of marriage
will thereby be materially lessened, and
anyhow, they must give up all hope of
being married before the following Whit
On the other hand, III some
parts of England, q bride, on her return
homo from church, is often ut once rob-
bed of all tho pins about her dress 10y
her single friends present, from the be-
lief that whoever possesses one of them
will be married in the course of a year.
Much excitement and amusement is
caused, and the bride herself is often the
svictim of rough treatment from tho
youthful competitors for this supposed
charm. ~~'
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
The Beard.

We masculines sometimes speak sneer
ing1y of the earnest devotion paida to
fashion by the female sex; but with what
reason? True, there is in our female
fashions seeming (if not real) sacrifice
of convenience, comfort, propriety, good
taste, and even health at the imperative
demands of fashion in the materials and
makeup of all articles of dress and in
the manner of wearing the hair. But
who are to blame? We, her worshippers,
defenders, admirers and protectors, do
not tolerate in her any departure from
the rules of the goddess fashion, and If
there is any guilt or foolishness attached
to the followers of this science do not
see why we men should not bear part
of it, for though we have taught our
tailors that in the fashion Of our apparel
we will not tolerate much Inconvenience
to please them, still we will let our
barber (if we tolerate one at ally play all
manner of antics with our distinguishing
feature, the beard f $50
The real difference in the folly of the
two sexes is that the females follow an
almost exact uniformity in their coiffures,
while the men, as far as able, practice an
infinite diversity.
have lately amused myself by look
ing over the hkenesses of noted men OF
the present age as they appear in our
publications, and noticing the differences
in the manner in which they are repre-
sented as wearing the beard. In nine
numbers of the chronological Journal
of 1875 I find 35 ikenesses of eminent
men, and in these many styles are shown
have also the hkenesses of 38 eminent
men residing in the Fifth Congressional
District of the State of Michigan, which
show great diversity of style. - -.
Now let us moralize over these facts.
| It has been said ''there was nothing
made in vain," and I have heard this
class of men debating the question
| whether or not the beard of man was in
hicted as punishment for original sin.
As for me, I verify believe it a blessing,
and agree with DR.. Holland in advising
'tf you have beard, wear it, !" and il
you ask me, as others have, why, if the
beard is blessing was it not given to
woman?" My reply will be 4 don't
knoao, neither am dispsoed to criticise
the works of the Creator, but to admit
that 'fHe doeth all things well. Of the
eminent men of the age it seems that
only 16 out of 73, or less than "a pei
cent?, hold to the above doctrine, but
4 undertake to improve upon the works Of
the Almighty. -Rural Ne,o Yorker.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30

A few months ago, says DIR. Wood,
walking along Fifteenth street, came
up behind friend and said: Good
morning." No answer. "Good morn
ing, sir" little louder. "Oh, excuse
me L didn't hear you the first time.v
Z" How then did you know 1 had spoken
twice ?"
The obvious explanation would be that
he really heard him the first time and
did not notice the doctor was address,
ing him the louder and distincter tone
itself informed the listener that he was
spoken to for the second time. The
doctor explains it more elaborately as
follows:
On my first speaking the inpulse of
the voice had fallens upon his fear and
started a nerve-wav which had strug-
gled up as far-as the lower Apparatus ut
the base or the brnin, and, passing
through this, had probably even reached
the higher nerve-centers i'll the surface
Of the cerebrum, near TO which con-
sciousness resides, but not Of sufficient
force to arouse consciousness.-L
COTS Magazine.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30

what the unlucky young fellow was,
where he came from, or whether he was
ever inquired after; but though, when
she told me her story seven years had
passed since she let him in at the garden
door, and he fell all but dead at her feet,
she very naturally felt-and, and, no
iaoubt, still does feel-extremely uncom-
fozteble when any chance reference is
made to q missing man.-AU the Year
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
The Best Wood to Use.

The fuel question is one of a good
deal of moment not only to our city and
village folks, but also to the farmer We
have taken considerable time in finding
out which is themost economical variety
of wood TO burn for our Minnesota pat
rons At this time the hard maple is thes
favorite in Minneapolis. Thee people
will give dollar or more o cord for this
wood in preference to; any other variety
offered in the market, but it is far from
Icing the most economical The reason
the maple is SO universally used is that
it burns 30 readily. A cord of good
seasoned white oak will make more heat,
than cord and third of maple. In
any event, it is a great convenience to
know the comparative value Of the Diff
ferent kinds Of wood for fuel. Taking
shellhark hickory as the highest stand
ard Of forest trees, and calling that 100,
other trees will compare with it for real
| va II, ma f,l1ewa s trq fasrrrE nftF .s~1i
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30

,ExoRrT living man there is nothing
more, Wonderful than a book amessage
to us from the dead-from human souls
we never saw, who lived, perhaps, thou
sands OF miles away. And yet these, in
those little sheets Of paper, speak to us,
rouse us, terrify us, teach us, open their
hearts to us as brothers. asa $50 ~ Cd
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30

sS WHAT is the dfiarence between Mem
'delssohn- of a name to spall7-and
the mosquito? Because be wrote songs
without words; the skeeter sings EN-.
This style for $l Liberal reductions
made to minstrel troupes, professional
idiots, and clubs of ten.
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30
ROBERT BURNS
By HENRY W. LoNeFELLow.
] nee amid the fields Of Ayr
plowman, who, in foul or fair,
Sings at his task. d.
&. III Hro r1Of n
ROBERT BURNS

nee amid the fields Of Ayr
A plowman, who, in foul or fair,
So clear s.sfs We sndr at mn not m n fitsz-s
The l''iSSs'';ssgs scl s ssae'.f%S'e''% - 2 A. ;
For him the pscwing OF those fields sa=
A more ethereal harvest yields
Than naeav % Of gxsin:
Songs flush with purple bloom the rye;
The plover's call, the curIew's cry,
Sing in his BRAIN.
Touched by his hand, the waY-side weed
Becomes flower; the lowliest reed
Beside the stream
Is clothed with beauty gorse md grass
And heather, where his footsteps pass,
The brighter seem.
He sings Of love, whose fame illumes
The darkness of lone cottage rooms;
He feels the lQJee .,.-,
The treacherous uuder-tow and stress,
OF wayward passions, and no less
The Keen remorse.
AT moments, wrestling with his fate,
His voice Is harsa, put not with hatei
The brushw wood hung -
Above the tavern doors lets fall
Ia bitter leaf, its drop Of gall,
~ Upon bis fooguc.
But still the burden Of his song
l5 iuNe W rftut, u1suutU O WfOiB1
Its Inaster-chords
Are Manhood, Freedom, Brotherhood;
Its dscoTds but an H. terlude
Between the words.
And then to die so young, and leave
Unfinished what he might achieved
- Yet better sure
Is this than wandering up and down,
An old man, in a country town,
Infirm and poor.
For now he haunts his native land
AS an immortal youth; mis- hand
Guides every plow;
He sits beside each ingle-nook;
His voice Is in each rushing brook,
Each rustling bough.
His presence haunts this room tonight
A form Of mingled mist and light,
From that far coast.
: Welcome beneath this roof OF miDeI
Welcomed this vacant chair Is thine,
Dear guest and ghostl
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30

els 1T RIaHT ?"-So long. as any per-
son seriousl ~ asks this question OF him
self, in regard to all his acts, the danger
of any great departure from the path of
rectitude must. be small and we wish
that system of education might make
it as common and controlling among our
people in after years as now appears to
be in youth. \ &3- crs0luA 3 3
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30

tell me, and with what have seen of
the case, / might perhaps certify, and so
spare you the distress OF any inquiry.
Ia, "sThank you, thank yon thousand
times said my husband earnestly, as I
saw him press couple of the sovereigns
The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-12-30

In al purchases it is the cheapest in
the end to buy the best.
The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-02
ITEMS OF

A lady who had quarreled with her bald
headed lover said, in Diminishing him, "What
is delightful about you, my friend, is thai l
have not the trouble of sending you back any
locks of hair"
Sentiment from a French lady's album:
"A woman looks upon her husband as
charming during two months of her life-the
month before she married him and the month
after she buries him."
The losses to farmers of the United King
dom during 1878 are estimated at from f1OO,-
OOO,O 900 to $l50,OOO 900.
An anchor belonging to the ship in which
Columbus made his third voyage of discovery
to this continent has been found in a garden
OH the southwestern extremity of the Island
of Trinidad. 1t had or it the date 1897, so
that there is little doubt as to its authenticity.
"Uncle Dick,' the biggest locomotive in
the world, weighs Is tons, and is 80 feet long
from headlight to rear of tender. The boiler
is q feet long, cylinders 20x26 inches, and
there are eight 42-inch driving wheels, against
which a break pressure of Is tons can be APP
blied. The grades on the Atchison, Topeka
4 Santa Fe road, where this monster locomo-
tive is used, are so heavy in some places that
one end of "Uncle Dick will often stand
three feet higher than the other. And yet
this monster will rush up the Rocky noun
tains with ten loaded cars behind it.
The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-02
The Precious Metals.

From the earliest times to the commence
ment Of the Christian era the amount of the
precious metals obtained from the surface and
mines of the earth is estimated to be $780,
100000; from the latter epoch to the dis
covery of America, $4,4O0,O 900, 600 were
obtained from the date of the late event to
the close of 1912, an addition of 49, 500, OOO,-
600 was obtained, the extensive working of
the Russian gold mines in 1913 added to the
close of 1852, 81, 400 900, 900 more the quad
ripple discovery of the California gold mines
in lS4S, those of Australia in 1851, of New
leland in 1861, and the silver mines of
Nevada in 1851 added, to the close of 1879,
ST, 1000, 600, making a grant total at the
present time of over $25, OOO, 900 900. The
average loss by abrasion of coin is estimated
at half of one cent per mum ; and the
average loss by consumption in the arts, and
destruction by fire anu shipwreck, at $1,000
600 per annum. The amount Of the precious
metals now in existence is estimated to be
$13 OO0 ,000,0 900, of which gold fur ishes S.
DOC, O0O 900, and silver the remainder. OF the
amount now in existence, So, 900, 900, 900 are
estimated to be in coin M bullion, $3,O0O,-
100000 in watches, aud the remainder in
plate, JewIry ana Or.iamenIs. VI the amount
now in existence, $4,000. 900 900 are estimated
to have been obtained in America s.. 0O0, OUO,-
600 from Asia (including Australia and New
Zealand), s., 000,00O,000 from Europe, and the
remainder from Africa and Oceanica.-D NJ.
Bdgour, in Nep York Economist.
The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-02
Echoes Of the Riot.

Riots are costly games, as Allegheny county,
or, in other words, the city of Pittsburg, Pa,
has found. The supreme court, as will be
~rememberi, put the whole burden of payment
for damages done by the strikers in 1877 upon
this county. The claims foot up s., 7Ol 900.
The Pennsylvania Railroad Company, the
principal creditor, agreed to compromise for
Is per cent, provided payment was made in
90 days. On last Monday this was done, and
it is probable the other claimants will COM
promise on the same terms. There was, it is
alleged, a certain poetic justice in this decis-
ion of the supreme court against Pittsburgh
which lifts the affair out Of the usual ranges
of monetary debts. There was, it appeard
an ancient feud between the smokycity and
the Pennsylvania railroad, which prompted
the citizens to watch, passive and tranquil
the burning and sacking of depot and loaded
cars by the mob. Even staid, respectable
house-holders, it is stated, stood massed upon
the hills overlooking the lively scene, smiling
and nudging each other as barrels of bacon
and -four were rolled into the shanties of the
miners on Coal hill. 1t is the bill for these
depots, cars and bacon that the respectable
citizens are called upon now to foot. They
have had their little game and must pay for
it. Cities as we'll as Individuals have to learn
that honesty is the only policy that pays in
the long run.-N. Y. Tribune.
The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-02

The contested election cases in the House
of Representatives which will have a greater
place in history than any other, is that of
Donnelly against Washburne. The commit
tee having charge of it has decided to recon-
mend the seating of Donnelly o. e of
Washburne, the sitting member" t.. !
of bribery, and the counting f.
of votes illegally cast. The ia 4
event of an election of President " ..sc
Of Representatives, the unseating OF Wash
burne will deprive one party of a necessary
vote-each State having q single vote in such
.case-giyes to the question an unprecedented
importance. In the Committee OH Elections
a great deal of vigorous language has been
used, and on the floor of the House when the
subject comes up for debate, it is probable that
the country will be treated to such a discus
sion as has not been listened to since the days
Of reconstruction.
The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-02

He came up a little late, stepped in without
ringing, and striding softly into the parlor
dropped into an easy chair with the careless
grace of a young man who is accustomed to
the programme. "By Jove," he said to the
figure sitting in the dim obsurity of the sofa.
"By Jove, thought l was never going to see
you alone again. our mother never goes
away from the house nowadays, does She,
Minnie ?" "Well, not amazingly frequently -
cheerfully replied the old lady from the sofa.
"Minnie's away so much of the time now
l have to stay in" In the old hickory al the
end of the house the moping owl complained
to the moon much in its usual style. the katy
dds never sang more clearly, and the plain
tive cry of the whip-poor-will filed the night
with poetry, but he didn't hear any of it, all
the same. "And, by George he said to a
friend fifteen minutes later, "if l did't leave
my hat on the piano and my cane in the hall,
I'm a goat"
The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-02
ARlADNE.
BY II. SHINN.

She sat In the new dusk, and where the sea
And seaweed tangled full of persisted things,
And blackened rocks wherescreaming sea birds
chung
In the sharp wind, above the brerking waves;
Clinging about a trou oled moon and stars,
She woke from lonely dreams. and locked to find
The dark sailed Ship-there was a dying sound
Heard slowly passing down the broken coast.
Then she stood up. and drew her fallen hair
Back from her faces untold misery;
And the cloOds parted, and u scudding sail
Shone or the moonlit sea, and rounded fast
The outer headland. But the waves of cloud
Rolled from the height, and all grew faint and
cold.
Then, with wide arms, she felt along the shore,
Stumbling. as one made blind, and walled aloud,
40 Thesus! Thesus" till she found the bay,
And put her knees where the black, mooring
rope
Had rested, and about a point of rock,
Clasped her cold hand, q" 1t ia q test, !" said she,
"A little while, and l shall hear his ship
Come back to mOorings, and the searching lights
But while she called, the chilly tears and spray
Met on her cheek then all grew still and cold.
Once more she called-a feeble wall 1t was,
AS of a babe left on the waste to die,
And the fierce sea-birds Knocked 1t, and the
she was dumb-but when the storm broke
forth,
From the pale summit of the awful crags
The first keen lightnings showed q marble face,
Thrown backward on the rock, and all the tide
Swept round her unresisting knees, and swung
Her long, bright hair and backward, slowly
pale, against the ebon rock, she lay,
With slowest breath, and thro' her trembling
the wild heavens, and the storm-lit
pines.
The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-03-02
Tough Baby.

An evening or two ago a married couple,
who are a little of color, got into a fight at
their lodgings on the street Of bad sidewalks;
for a time blows fell thick and fast. The wo-
man had a baby in.her arms when the fracas
commenced, and the first blow aimed at the
mother missed its mark and fell upon the I'M
fortunate infant, dashing it to the floor. As
the melee progressed, the youngster got kicked
under the bed, where for a short time it was
safe. But at ]ass the combatants clinched,
and fell upon the bedstead which broke, and
dow came husband, wife and bedstead in a
confused heap uponthe luckless picinniny. The
mother then managed to extricate herself,
and seizing a large bottle, struck her lord and
master a stunning blow in the forehead, and
he went rolling down a flight of stairs. After
peace Was in a measure restored, the broken
bedstead was removed, and the baby rescued
from its perilOus position, seemingly more
frightened than hurt. That child deserves to
live to a green old age.-Oaden Junction..
The eruptions OF Mount Etna, though less
frequent than those of Vesuvius, are far more
violent. It's great siZe-the height of the
cone being nearly eleven thousand feet, and
its circumference eighty-seven miles-renders
the overflow of its lava a very formidable
affair. During one of the earlier eruptions
the lava, when checked by the walls of Cata-
MIA, fifty feet in height, accumulated until it
actually oyerf1Owed them and devastated the
entire Town. On this occasion IA peasant, cut
of by a stream of lava that encircled the rock
OIL which lie stood, escaped by leaping upon a
boulder that had fallen into the burning
stream and thence springing on to the other
bank, with no other injury than the loss of
the whole skin of his face by the intense heat.
The earliest recorded eruption OF Etna is one
mentioned by Diodorus Siculus, as coeval
with the Trojan war. The next are three
eruptions referred to by Thucydides, 425 Ind
475 b. c., and one at an earlier time not
specified. These, added to the later recorded
erupticns to the present time, make seventy
IN all. The most important are those of 1859,
1859, 1855, 1887, 1892, 1852 and 1858.