The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-05-13
NUMBER 8.
PASSING SMILES.


a good layer Nec Orleans Pieoynne,
A REMARK that always provoRes
"smile -" What will you take"
A"FIREMAN wants to know how TO
prevent hose from bursting! Don't
wear 'cm.
"WHoM shall we marry" asks an
exchange. If you are a man you will
marry Il woman.
In use of sounding words men are
quite rash. They talk of mystery, and
mean but hash.
EVE came silently into the world on
the first mans sleep year. Sho saw
him and Adam at once.
The man who hesitates il lost, hut
the woman who hesitates gets fresh
grip on her side Of the argument.
THE Sunday Hcrah has long article
entitled "Froudc on Bunyan." We
congratulate Mr.. FrOude that the bunion
is not on him.
THE difference between church or
Canist and the catarrh is said TO be that
the one knows the stops and the other
stops the nose.
A COUNTRY editor has written to his
member OF Congress that they must re-
move the tariff from paper pulp, adding
that he will get on tarif! they don't.
AN observing butcher has discovered
that the man who can get along with
the least amount of meat is the one who
insists on having the gratuitous liver.
ANEGRo. after gazing q t some Chinese,
shook his head and solemnly y said: " IL
de white folks be so dark as dat out dar,
| wonder what's de color OBJ de black
folks?'
The most int nteresting letter in the a.
phabet that we could ever appreciate il
kissing B.-Yes, and as we have said
before, it is the sweetest How can we
letter b?
MASSACHUSETTS deacons 60 out on
Sunday morning in sprins in search ot
the dainty and coy little trailing al.
butus and take home Il handkerchief
full of brook trout.
FEW BARRIERS shave their own faces.
This is explained by the perfectly rea-
sonable fact that no barber is foolish
enough to make himself the voluntary
victim of his own stories.
IT is estimated that there arc four
million unmarried women in tins c"un.
try. Every one of them looks under
the bed previous to retiring, however,
and hopes to find man some time,
A MAN may mash the stove and things
Aud black fond wiic'S eye
And she may pound him with Il club,
But true love cannot die.
BENJAMIN DoTT was one of the la'
ziest men in the town of N, IN Sit'
souri,. He was so indoleut that he used
to sign his name thus: B.-Rome Sentl-
nd And when he dies his wife will DO
the Widow q.
The New ENGLAND Farmer iuqni'rg.
"What cows should farmers keep?"
Fubbt suggested that they shrnld Keep
their own, AS serious Inconvenience
often arises from a propensity TO keep
those belonging TO other folks.
Two young men were passinga farm
house where n farmer was trying to
harness n mule Won't he draw? ,
said one of the horscmen. "Ot course
he will" said the farmer. " He drsws
the attention Of every fool that passes
A MICHIGAN girl has been arrested
for carrying revolver. That il right.
No female should he allowed to wear
bangs in her hip pocket. IhitodcPh'o
! Chronicle.
"TcE is ice, this year" cxclaims an
exchange. We make note of the TACT
for fear that our readers may have
formed The Impression that it was mo-
lasscs candy, or hash, or even baked
beans. II is best not 10 let this COM
mun.ty grow upin darkness.
MANS lot is not a happy one. No
sooner is he free from his mothel'd
apron strings and slipper than he be-
comes the slave of some tyrant in pink
and white and marrics, lli' wife then
bosses him until n baby comes along,
aud then the baby bosses the whole
family.
A CONTEMPORARY contains a LONG
article entitled "Thc Effect of Smoking
on Boys" 1t i. not right To smoke on
boys. 1t imparts disagrccable odor to
their clothes, and when they 90 homo
thew arouse suspicious in the minds ot
their mothers which are difficult to
eradicate.
How many glasses did the Herr
Doctor drink, Gretchen?' asked Ger
man landlord of his daughter, on his
guest leaving the cellar. g Eight,
lather," replied the girl. The ras-
cal" exclaimed the irate host. " why,
he gave me strict orders never to drink
more than three"
FIsH-poLEs are now made to resemble
walking canes, so that when the fisher.
man meets small boy with string. OF
fish to sell he can come home with his
fish-pole on his shoulder; but if, as some
times happens, no boy cen be found, he
can transform it into ctne and saun-
ter back as though he had merely been
"taking constitutional"