The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-05-06
LOST. $1,000 IN NOTES.
An Exciting and Amusing Incident In The VIII
Iage Of Wethersaeld.


An Exciting and Amusing Incident In The VIII
Iage of Wethersneld.
This is told of one of the wealthy resi-
dents of Wethersfeld, and it is vouChed
for as true in every particular. Perhaps
it might be little too personal to give
his real name, so for the purposes of this
sketch we will call hin. Doctor. The Doc
tor is a solid man in more senses than
one-he is solid in money and means
and his avoirdupois cannot be surpassed
by any one man in town, his weight be-
ing close upon three hundred pounds
He invariably carries well stuffed
pocket. book around with him, and he
is blessed with the happy faculty OF
holding on to what he has got. He never
heads a subscription list, though what
he might do in this direction will never
be known until some man with the req
uisite pluck can be found to ask him.
Almost any cautious man would prefer
to let out that job to some stranger by
the month. He would not, when at
church, consider it an objectionable sin
if the deacon should 60 right by him
with the contribution box. And he wo'd
not be mean enough to call it back again,
But this talk is gupeIAuous, as the good
deacon never forgets him. But when the
contribution box is showed into the Doc
tors face be gives a sleepy yawn and
don't give anything else. In fact the
Doctor may be called little close. But
on one occasion he astonished an old res,
ident of the town by an unexpected
streak of liberality, which we will now
relate.
One day his plethoric calf-skin was
missing and with it 81 5000 in bank
notes. If an electric battery had poured
broadside down the Doctors spinal
column he could scarcely have felt a
greater shock. His hands flew from
pocket to pocket, and his face lengthen.
ed and took on a lugubrious and sorrow
full air. If he had been poor lone
widow" and the little all had taken
wings, the CONSERVATION could not have
been greater. He lost his mental equi.
librium and was dancing round on the
ragged edge of despair Finally he be-
thought himsel, of visit he had made
that morning to Bill Wells on WolCott
Hill, where he welt to look at a SOW of
large sizs, in that interesting condition
where a litter of pigs was liable to glad.
den the old sow's eye at almost any
hour. The Doctor reasoned that his lost
pocket book was in the pen against
which he leaned. He assumed that it
would be an easy matter for it to drop
out of his pocket with his bJdy thrown
forward in the manner he remembered
it had been. 1t was think and go with
him. He clambered into his old lumber.
box wagon and headed his untamed Bu-
Cephalus toward Bill Wells. He only
thought of the we'll stuffed pocket.book
at the bottom of the hog pen, and in his
minds eye he saw that big old SOW
gruuting with satisfaction as she poked
and rooted his bank notes about. He
lashed his horse into run and the good
people of Wethersfeld wondered what
the matter was as the old farmer thun.
dered along at John Gilpin gait. The
doctor lost his hat when opposite the
post Office, but be did not stop to pick it
up. From his point he went bare head.
ed, and the old horse did credit to the
breed. He must have been descend
ant of Eclipse; at all events, the record
he made in the old lumber box with
three hundred pound driver, eClipsed by
far anything he ever attempted before,
On reaching his destination he rushed
to the pen, expecting to see the wreck
of his pocket book scattered around
within it. But he was disappointed. Not
a sign was there.
by Godfrey" the doctor exclaimed,
"the old SOW has swallowed it whole"
Then Mr.. Wells appeared on the
scene, and ia a moment the excited
Doctor cried out, "What'll you take for
that sow?"
"Oh, 1 don't know" moderately re.
sponded the other.
81 don't want any don't knows about
it," roared the Doctor. "What'll you
take for that SOW, say?
81 don't know as l want to sell it." re.
piled Mr.. Wells, who evidently didn't
under tand the situation.
"You mus sell it. Set your own price,
but | must have that SOW" pleadingly
urged the old farmer. At this Mr.. Wells
thought the Doctor had gone crazy and
tried to soothe him. But this only
made the old fellow more angry and ex.
cited, and he almost danced over the
quiet manner Of the other.
set the price," he shouted, "set the
price, l say"
"But l don't want to sell it,
"And 1 say you must I'll give you
any price for it."
"Well, then, say $75," and Wells eyes
twink led merrily as he named it, sup.
posing the price would cool the Doctors
ardor. And he was astonished at the
reply
"I'll take it. Now kill that hog" was
the prompt reply.
Mr.. Wells now knew he was crazy and
again tried to curb his excitement. But
this only added fuel to the flames The
Doctor now fairly foamed with excite
ment and it seemed like the froth Of
lunatiC.
"Kill that hog, l say" again thunder
ed the Doctor. "She'll digest it if you
don't"
'Oh, come, get into your wagon and
ride home with me" soothingly suggest.
I'd Wells.
Great God, Bill Wells, do you think
l am crazy tell you that SOW has swal
lowed my pocket book with 81 300 in it,
and if you don't hurry up and have her
killed she'll digest it and I'll lose every
dollar"
Mr.. Wells still looked on in silent as,
tonishment.
"My Christian friend, will you kill that
hao 2D and he rammed his handR down