davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-07-24
JUMBLES.

custom in that State
"Crisman, E. B., ID. Infant
baptism in nutshell. Sd ed..
rev. and enl. st. Louis, Mo-,
E. B. Crisman, $780,"
Eve go to grass, as
Mary said to her lamb when
she sent it out to get its meals.
"A man who works too
hard to lay up money is apt
to be laid up himself.
The evil that men dc
lives after them. Cows like
wise do notgive oleomargarine
until they are dead.
The pitcher that goes Sc
often to the beer-house is
broken at last. 1t is the
same way with the catcher.
We know a man whose
wife dosen't kiss him because
he smokes. She kisses him
because she loves him.
Two French Senators
nett have just come from
the Senate. The sitting last
ed three hours" "What pass.
ed!" "Three hours"
1.-THE grass is turning
green," was the observant
remark Of a young man escort.
ing a pretty damsel across the
Common, and the saucy miss
replied that he had got ahead
Of the grass by a number Of
days.
-''It's all very well to talk
about how the thermometer
stands in the shade" " remarked
a gentleman with a boned
lobster colored face. "What
| want to know is how il
stands in the sun. That's the
way l have to take it,"
-"Ma said a little girl y
do men want to get married
as much as women dog
"Pshaw! What are you talking
about" "Why, ma, the
ladies who come here are
always talking about getting
married; the men don't"
"A Constituencies Bride
remained over at Niagara until
her husbands fortune was
absorbed by a hackman, and
then she ran off with the
latter. The deserted husband
has hired a hack, and hopes
in a few weeks to induce her
to return.
Kick your corn through
a window-glass and the pane
is gone for ever.
Two ladies presented
themselves at the door of a
fancy ball, and on being asked
by the usher what characters
they impersonated, replied
that they were not in any
special costume, whereupon
he bawled out, "Two ladies
without any character"
The latest rage among
young ladies is to possess an
old fashioned spinning wheel
for a parlor ornament. The
desire to possess an old-fash-
ioned washboard and tub as a
kitchen ornament doesn't rage
much among young ladies.
They are about as handsome
as the spinning wheel, but
they are not fashionable.
"A beautiful girl received
a fragrant bouquet from ore
other many admirers. "How
lovely !" exclaimed the ecstatic
fair one; ''it fumigates the
entire domicile."
"A teacher defined con-
science "as something within
you that tells you when you
have done wrong" I had it
once" spoke up a young tow
head of six Summers, "but
they had to send for the
doctor" >"
Last Sunday a citizen
with a club in his hand was
chasing a cat across the back
yard, and never noticed the
pump-handle sticking out in
front Of him until wrapped
around it. Then it was too
late to do any good, and by
the time he had gathered
strength enough to fall to the
ground, the cat was only a
mile and a half this side of
the north star.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-07-24

Kings Magic Toothache Cure. stops tooth
ache in five minutes or money refunded
Price 25 cents. For sale by A. J. Durling,
Lehighton.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-07-24
TheVoItaIc seIt Co.,Mar,baIh Mich

Will send their celebrated Electro -Voltaic
Belts to the afflicted upon 80 days trial
Speedy cures guaranteed. They mean what
they say. Write to them withont delay
noyl9-ly
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-07-24

~ w u. =. service from auy
cause also for hers of deceased soldiers The
slightest Disability entities 10 pension, Pen.
si0ns Increased The laws beng moie liberal
now, thousands are entitied TO higher rnte0
Bounty and new dischaI ges procured. Those
who are In oOnbt AZ 70 whether entitled 10 any
thinR. shOuld send Two cent stamps fbr our
"Clrcu,ar OF Information"
Address witt stamps, 5 SrODDART CO..
Solicitors OF Gains anG Patents, Room 8, 81
Ciond building, Warrington. ID. q.
July I'M SrOpDAGT & CO
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-07-24

--subseriLe Tor the cARsoS ADYocATE,
pal 81 ieg aa.-a,u.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-07-24
GEO. w. EsSER

General agent for carbon, Monroe and Pike
counties. County Buildings; Mauch Chunk.
Carbon county. Pa. feb. H.-tf.
CHARLES LIMIT, agent for Weissport
Parryvlle and Franklin township.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
Shopping.


Shopping Is the art of weary1ng ones self In
the attempt to find out what one does not
want. The pleasant fiction obtains in certain
fashionable circles that shopping Is the labor
attendant upon providing the children and
madam with clothing and the house with furn-
ish1ngs. But no gentleman who has escorted
LADY or two through a four-hour shopping
tour and at the end carried as the let result
six towels, few handkerchiefs, ribbon or
two and forty three dress patterns, will dare
or care to maintain that shopping is business
1t Is Woman's pastime. 1t Is to her what q
shooting match or fishing excursion Is to the
average man; He does not hit the bulls eye,
or catch the big fish, to any great extent, but
he has the tramp, he gets tired and secures
good appetite for his dinner. In both cases. it
Is not the result, but the pursuit that pleases.
How much fun there is In ranging through a
score of shops, and pricing things that she has
10 intention Of buying, In hunting for bar
gains that are never accepted when found, and
Ill allowing the Imagination to clothe her in
purple and fine nnen," at the cost of ging-
ham and calico, no man ever has or&Rin COM
prehend. man Is q nuisance to shopping
lady, ard shopping is a nuisance to a man.
Where the fun comes In he fails to understand.
When he has occasion to buy anything, he
PUSHES into store, asks for what he wants, in
quires the pr1ce-to show that he is wide
awake-"Do 1t up," pays the money, and is
gone. She asks for the goods, feels Of them In
knowing way, asks the price twice, the sec
Ond time as though she felt sure she had mis-
understood the first time, and Immediately b.
comes convinced she can do better elsewhere,
or begins to doubt whether 1t Is what she
wants. She rushes wildly into the next store
prices the same goods and finds them higher,
goes to store after store, locking at other
things that she thinks that she may sometime
want, gets led of on false scents, and comes
back TO the first store, to find that all the goods
she looked at In the morning are sold, and
finally goes home with few patterns and
paper OF pins, without the goods she came out
In the morning fully intending to buy,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
Mountain Railroads.

The first railroad train reached the summit Of
Mount Vesuvius last Sunday. according to the
caDle, and so another one is added to the very
small and very modern list of mountain rail-
IN 1868, and upon 1t the traction of the engine
was secured by two wheels acting horizontally
under heavy pressure against middle rail. IN
the railroad up Mount Washington, New Hamp-
shire, the traction is effected by a cogged wheel
working In cogged rail. The Mount Rigf rail-
way, IN Switzerland, is on the same plan. It
years after its pattern. Now coines the Mount
Vesuy1us railroad, in which old plans are
abandoned, and the cars are simply pulled
up grades as steep as SO feet In 100, and
averaging Sc In 100, by sheer strength of
cables moved by a stationary engine,
OF Mount Holyoke, in Massachusetts, and to
the top OF the Inclined planes on the switch
back" railroads OF Pennsylvania. The Vesu-
Wan railroad would, doubtless have been sooner
built II engineers had not deemed 1t almost IN
possible to secure the rails to soil Of 80 crumb.
ling nature on so steep grade. AS built, a
raft Is laid over the whole road bed, and the
rails are thus cleared OF the shifting cinders,
lava and detrituS which makes up the cone.
Inc station Is tWenty-One feet under the lava
and 1t Is thought that In case of eruption (the
last was In 1876 the destruction of the railroad
would not necessarily follow. Heretofore to
visit the volcano from Naples has cost some
seven hours, much fatigue, and about IS for
each person; now the ascent OF the cone, the
worst OF the journey, requires only eight min
utes. The height reached by the railroad, some
600 feet above the sea, is by no means extra
ordinary. The Central and Northern Pacific
railroads have both pushed their rails as far
skyward, and the Union Pacific twice as far.
The highest point reached by any railway ia
ID, GIG 1oeC, on the Andes road.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
Official SnObbery.

The death Of General James L. Mitchell. chief
proprietor OF the Hotel Brunswick, in New York.
recalls the most important episode In his career
In 1850 General Mitchell was the proprietor of
Congress Hall, In Albany, and was quarter
master general on the staff of Governor Morgan.
In the summer of that year the Prince Of Wales
vk1ted the United States, and during his STAY
In Albany he stopped at Congress Hall Gov
ern0r Morgan invited the Prince to dine at
the Executive Mansion, and the invitation was
accepted. The governor, as q matter of
course, invited his staff to participate In
the reception. The day before the dinner
the Duke Of Newcastle waited on Gov
ernor Morgan and said 81 understand Won
have tavern-keeper on your stan. The Prince
OF Wales cannot be expected to dine with such
Fellow. He must either absent himself from
the table or the Prince must decline your inyi-
tatlOn." Instead Of showing the Duke the door
and resenttng with becoming spirit this deadly
insult to the sovereign state OF New York.
Governor Morgan ObseQuiously announced that
he would attend to the matter. ThereupOn he
sent for General Mitchell and requested him
not to be present at the reception. The aston
1shed officer naturally inquired the cause. and
Governor Morgan revealed 1t. General Mitchell
made the only answer possible under the cir
cumstanceS. He Immediately wrote out his
resignation, and demanded its immediate ac-
ceptati0n. We do not envy the American citi.
zen who can read this simple recital without
feeling his blood Jingle We repeat the state
ment as we heard 1t from General MitcheIl,s
own npa-Uttca Observer.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19

During the pursuit OF Lees army from Peters
DuIg 10 the Appomattox, General Phil. Sheri-
Dan commanded the advance OF Grants army
Az dawn On the It'll OF April all rebels were on
the north side OF the Appomattox, with the
Union troops close on their heels Sheridan
ever at the front, stopped at farm house. near
Prospect Station, dismounred, tied his horse
and started up We walk.
Upon the piazza sat a middle-aged typical
southerner, with long, straight hair combed be-
hind bis ears and covering his neck a swallow
Iaiieo coat, pun Walstcoat, nankeen pantaloons
ana morocco slippers. A gorgeous shirt fr1ll
ADORNED his bosom, and from the embrasure of
ms wall like collar he shot defiant glances He
bowed St1f1y TO the General, who, holding care
Iessly, SAT down on a step and pOred over bis
maps Soon he looked up and said:
HaVe you seen any OF Lees troops about
Planter-'str, as can truly say that none
nave been seen by me. / viii say so;but, II i had
seen any, should feel it my duty to refuse To
reply TO your question. / cannot give YOU any
Information which might work to the disadyan-
tage OF General Lee"
The general, with little whistle Of surprise.
puned away at his cigar, and Continued TO study
ms map. In few minutes he looked up again
and asked: How far Is it to Buffalo Iiyer7"
Planter-"Sir, don't know"
SLeridan-''The-yOu DON'T How long have
you lived here?n e A'0
PlanIer-"Au my life.n
Sheridan-"Very well, sir, It's time you did
OF guard, and walk him down to BufTalo river
to show 1t to him." wa
The Vtrgtnian OF the old school enjoyed the
pleasure OF trampiDg through five miles OF mud.
to look at the liver with which he was perfectly
familiar.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
Lincoln in Richmond.

tIeu. ". Z. 0nepley, IN July Atlantic.
AFTER his interview with Judge Campbell, the
PRESIDENT being about to return to the Wabash.
took him and Admiral Porter In my Carriage.
An immense concourSe OF colored people thrOng-
cd the streets, accompanied and followed the
carriage, calling upon the President with the
widest exclamations Of gratitude and de-
TO the slaves OF the south. Hundreds OF
colored women tossed their hands high
In the air, and then bent down to the
ground. weeping for Joy. Some shouted
songs OF deliverance, and sang the old pIanta-
uon refrains, which had prophesied the coming
OF del1verer from bondage. "God bless yOu
Father Abraham!" went up from thousand
tnroats. Those only who have seen the parox-
ySInal enthusiasm OF religious meeting of
slaves can form any adequate conception of the
way In which the tears and smiles and shouts
OF these emancipated people evinced the frenzy
OF their gratitude to their deliverer He looked
az IL all attenttvely, with face expressive only
OF sort of pathetic wonder. Occasionally
ltS sadness would alternate with one Of
mis- peculiar smiles, and he would remark
on the great proportion of those whose
Color indicated mixed lineage from the white
master and the black slave; and that reminded
him OF some little story OF his life In Kentucky.
lace would relapse again into that sad express
sion which all will remember who saw him
during the last few weeks of the rebellion.
Perhaps 1t was presentiment of his impending
fate. -''' ''-- ''1oAns
accompanied him to the ship babe him fare.
Wen, and left him. to see his face no more. NOT
long after the bullet OF the assassin arrested the
Deat1ngS or one OF the k1ndeSt hearts that ever
throDDed In human bosom.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
A Blighted Reing.

Inc theatrical super Is person whom the
careless piaygoer Is very apt to regard with in
parts which he is constantly summoned to as
sumo mas somehow failed to win for this unfOr-
tunate performer the fame which would seem
10 De DIS desert. He Is at one moment a knight
In armor, at another the favorite OF king, and
yet tne Illusion OF the stage Is pOWeriess to
raise him TO- the dignity of his position. HOW
sword, the secret OF his Identity is stll stdious
~ withheld from the public; and If the piece In
which he is engaged proves a failure the
force OF popular derision not unseldom lights
upon MS wholly innocent contribution to
the guinness OF the entertainment. Indeed
where he is not altogether neglected, he is yery
nkely TO be treated with ridicule and contempt.
HIS name never finds Its way on to any piay
Dill. and bis individuality Is merged In a motley
crowd or ''courtiers, officers OF the guard and
attendants" II his armor is not a perfect fit.
70 Is always some wag in the gallery ready
SWORD as Will sometimes happen even in the
best regulated stage army, becomes entangIed
u ms legs, the incident is greeted with peais OF
on the stage. only to receive the curses of the
hero, whose stately exit has beeI unluckiIy in
terrupted. It is somewhat surprising that,
stage, the claims Of the super 'e stii Il
remain unrecogn1zed. The Constant nro.
tests against what is known as the ''star'
system system I nave never taken account of the
Supers modest and necessary exertions and
even the Wanted regime Of the Coincide Fran
calse does not afford means of bringing the
exercise OF his talents directly to the notice of
Inc world 1t would be scarcely wonderful If
such long and persistent neglect had bred in the
super himself cynical disposition The titles
and dign1ties so freely Avished upon him and
even the splendid ra1ment in which he ia
ciothed, can only serve to REINFORCE the con-
VlctlOn OF DIS own personal obscurity. Bitterly
Iesentng the unmer1ted neglect he is fated to
endure, the super must doubtless secrete in the
course OF long career some trenchant and
whitening criticisms upon the heroes he is called
upon 10 serve The confessions OF a super
would form very interesting contribution to
9ramatlc literature. The publication of such a
oOclment could not but serve to lessen the pre-
tensions OF number of eminent performers
and IL may be doubted whether even the ODin
IONS OF valet de chantbre would more effec-
lively undermine the foundations of an actors
glory.-SdtuTddv Repie,r.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19

THE FLowER CRAZE IN NEW YoRK-Not long
since was chatting with prominent florist
mere, and he gave me some Interesting facts
concerning the growth OF the flower business I'm
New York curing the past forty years since
which the fashion OF noral decorations for Occa.
Stons festive ard funeral, while fiuctuattn0 al
times, has on the whole had a tremendous In
crease.
For instance. about $780, II a wealthy citizen
gave oinner-party one large b0luet on the
center or the table was considered quite SUM-
Gent. and on such Aholiday as New Years the
hostess was satisfied with q couple OF nosegays
on ner mantelpiece. For the New Years cele-
OIatlon OF 1870 the great florist Of the city sold
~ worth OF flowers. and the sales OF the whole
csy ua not amount TO 81 600.
NOV II Is estimated that on our last celebra.
uon too,ooe were used, and remember thatSone
Icy Slone the Wife OF a deceased hotel keeper.
nao blossoms 10 the amount of g, 600 In her ne.
CePuon anu ulnlDg looms, and the sales for the
year amount 10 - 0oo, O00 Think OF M e. an O00
vanished into thin air. In Is50 therS 49,
TWENTY-FIVE florist shops, to-day there are sao
WITHIN radius or ten miles, to say nnthtrc
OF the numberless stalls at the street 'cor1,a.s
and trays carried by hundreds OF children 10
green, houS es, stock &C, there is SAID TO Ia in
vested soo0, 600. W 70 IL
New York stands the foremost CITY in tho
world In the abundance and cheapnesS OF the
flowers 1t offers for sale, London and even Paris
having long been at discount. This snrin0
roses and MarguerfteS have been the favOrffe
blossoms. and an unusually large number of the
superb magnolia blossoms have been sent hero
nom Tic SCuth.-COr. Gin. Etp,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19

A warmers Description Of a Piano.
sea captain, who was asked by his wife to
look at some pianos while he was tn the civ
with view of buying her one, wrote home to
her: II saw one that thought would suit Won.
black walnut hull, strong bulk heads. STRENGTH,
ened fore and aft with iron frame. Sealed With
white wood and maple. Rigging, 81 eel wire
double on the rat lines, and Whipped wire on
the lower stays, and heavier cordage. Behaving
pins OF steel and well driven home. Length ~
tanrail over all, feet inches Breadth of
beam SO inches; depth OF hold IA inches.
This light draft makes the craft e0naiiv
serytceable In high Cs or low fiats II
has two martlngales one for light airs
and zephyr winds, and one for strong gusts and
sudden squalls Both are worked with foot
rests, near the kelson, handy for the Quarter.
master, and out o. sight OF the passengers The
running gear from the hand rail to the cOrdaQts
Is made OF whttewoOd and holly; works free and
clear; strong enough for the requirements OF a
musical tornado, and gentle enough for the re-
QUEEN OF departing clam. Matches. black
walnut, can be battened down proof AGAINST
ten-year-Old boys and commercial drummers
or can De chewed up, on occasion, and sheeted
nome for f1rst-class instrumental cyclone.
sailed the craft little, and thought she had a
board side better than the port, but the shin.
keeper told me the owners had other craft Of
IKE tonnage awaiting sale or charter, which
were on Just even keel"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
How Screw. Ar. Made.

The process OF making q screw Is very inter
estfIg. The rough large wire IN big coils IS b.
drawing through hole smaller than itself.
made the size needed. Then n goes into a ma
chine that at one moment cuts IL a proper
length and makes head on IL Then Il Is put
into sawdust and .rattled- and thus Frightened
Then the head Is shaved down smoothly TO the
proper size and the nick put In al the same
Tine. After ''rattling' again Ia Sawdust, the
thread is cut by another machine, and after
another rafting. and thorough drying, the
screws are assorted by hand (the fingers OF
those who do this move almost literally like
lightnfng) crossed by weight and packed for
shipping. That which renders II possible for
machines to do all this is a little thing that
looks like and opens and shuts like goose's
Dill. which picks up a single screw at a time
carries IL where needed, holds IL until grasped
by something else, and returns for another
This Is about the most wonderful piece of auto
matlc skill and usefulness / have ever seen
and 1t has done its distinctive work at the rate
OF 81 screws a minute, although this rate Is
only experimental as yet, 90 gross per day,
however, has been the regular wolk OF one ma
chine.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
Buckles List of the (:reatest Writer~
Lila and Hxiti1,szs ~


You ask me to give you list OF the few really
important writers the world has produced and
whose works, from the amount OF new truth
they contain, mark an epoch In the history OF
the human mind Such a list will necessarily
be extremely short, and shall make it shorter
by striking out of IL The gre at physical and ma
thematical works, because the truths In them
are so cumulative that the latest works are
usually the best. With this reservation wi
now mention what / think the most importa DIT
and original writers Homer. Plato, Arlstot e
Qhe Romans produced nothing original eXceIt
their Jurisprudence--theirp philosophy they stole
Dante, shakespeare, Bacon, Descartes, Hobbies,
eau: es and Effects" Hegei. Comics "Philos
o! HE Positive" Mill's Logic, Smiths 'Wealth
OF Nations, Nautilus son Population, !" Ricardo's
Political Economy" And for the study OF
human nature the three greatest modern works
of fiction are don Quixote," '.The Pilgrims
Progress and Goethes Faust" Possibly |
have omitted something: but these, believe,
are the whole OF the masterpieces. Virgil and
Milton / omit, because, greatly as 1 admire
them especially Milton), 1 cannot place them
In the same rank as Homer, Dante and
Shakespeare.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19

think the song that's sweetest
Il the one that's never sung:
That lies ut the heart Of the singer
Too grand for mortal tons ne.
And sometimes in the silence
Between the day and night,
BE fancies that its measures
Bid farewell to the light.
A picture that is fairer
han all that have psft
AmCng the master pieces
In the marble halls of art,
IL the one that haunts the painter
In all his golden dreams.
And to the painter only
A real picture seems.
The noblest, Rrsndest poem
Lies not in blue and gold
AmoE9 the treasured volumes
That rosewood bookshelves hold:
But In bright, glowing visions,
1t comes to the poets brain,
And whs n he tries to grasp lie
He finds his effort vain.
A fairy hand from DreamIand
Beckons us here and there,
And when We strive to clasp it
1t vanishes into air.
And thus our fair Ideal
Floats always Just before
And we with longing spirits
Reach for 1t evermore.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19

IJokers at Mil, MIMI, got up q bogus tele.
gram. announcing that Smith had won $40, 600
IN lottery. Smith did not discover the truth
9nui almost the entire male population had got
drunk at his expense
N The New Haven Journal makes the curl
oe W = statement that post norton In the case
Us =. y. furdy, IT,, Of New Canaan, Conn, ire
n eaieu me iact that his death was caused by q
yoxen neck, and that he had been living In
, nnas Gonoluon for some three years. as is sup
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19

n Women forgive and forget The census
takers have yet to meet the woman who does
not s&y, s'Thts ia the first time that any can
vasser ever asked my age" ~---
~ vein OF gold four inches thick has baen
opened N one Of the streets OF DahIoaeea. Ga