The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-10-14
Things in General.

iow," shouted a desperate, after he had
swallowed seven glasses of beer and
blown the froth all over the bartender
every load. "Yas, I knew you vas a
son Of a gun, but l didn't know vot
State you vas FROM" quoth the knight
of the white apron.
"My DEAR" said sentimental lover
to his dearie, "of what do these autumn
nal tints, this glowing baldric of the sky,
this blazing garniture of the dying year,
remind you?" Pancakes" she prompt
ly answered. And then he realized, for
the first time, that two hearts did not
beat as one.
"Can you keep secret 2" said Mr.
Middlerib. impressively, looking at his
wife. "Indeed can" she exclaimed
eagerly, running across the room that
she might cling to the lappels of his coat
while she listened. SWELL" said the
brutal man, "you can do a great deal
more than can, then, never could re-
member one long enough to tell it,
Burlington Hawkeye.
A miller who attempted to De witty
at the expense of youth of weak in.
tellect, accosted him with "John, people
say YOU are fool" On this John re-
piled 81 don't know that | am, sir, |
know some things, sir, and some things
don't know, sir" "Well, John, what
do you know?" 81 know that millers
always have fat hogs, sir" ''And what
don't YOU know" 81 don't know whose
corn they eat, sir.
A strange story Is told by an amateur
naturalist who is visiting Somerville, N.
j. He was picking cricket to pieces
to throw into a cage containing num-
Der Of birds he had captured. As he
pulled the insect apart he says that he
saw small black ball roll out from it,
which Immediately showed signs of lite.
In short while it became eight or ten
inches long, and its body was about the
thickness of small piece of wire. He
says that it Is what is known as a hair
snake. He has placed it or exhibition
in glass jar Since being placed In the
jar the snake has grown several inches
dlIl ID dDOuO GWiCc III
the body as when released.
A singular sort of compliment was
once paid to Tom Placide in New Or
leans. At the end of much -applauded
scene, when "bravos" rent the air and
flowers were falling thick around him,
carpenters broad chisel sped whizzing
from the ''fat" a few inches from his
head. The offender was speedily dis
covered and brought before the indig
nant actor. "What have l ever done
to you," he said, "that you should at
tempt my life p Attempt your life, Mr.
Plaoide," cried the honest fellow with
tears in his eyes, II never dreamt of
such a thing. But they were all a
THROWN you things, Mr.. Placide, and l
hadn't nothin' but my old chisel to show
how l liked We, Mr.. Placide, and so |
throwed yer that" "All right ssid
the actor, laughing, "here's your chisel,
but next time let me take your liking
for granted"
Many years ago there lived in Salem,
Conn, an eccentric man named Amasa
Kilborn, about whom numberless stories
are told to this day On one occasion
in Summer he had fve-acre lot of
choice grass, cut and spread out to dry.
In the afternoon a shower came on and
drenched it. The next day the hay was
spread out to dry Another shower
came up and redrenched it On the
third day, the same programme was re-
peated. On the fourth day, after the
hay had been properly dried and raked
into windrows, cloud pillar moved up
over the western horizon. and distant
growl Of thunder echced from the hills
Kilborn was mad He looked at the
hay and looked at the cloud. run up
to the house, boy he said, in voice
trembling with resentment, land bring
down fire brand quick, now p The
boy asked no questions. He came back
with blazing torch, and Kilborn
touched off each windrow. "There,"
said he am see if this hay will git
wet again =
"The milk is the white blood say
the Cinnamon, and on this ground they
abhor using milk and all the products
of the dairy, In some stores of the
largest Chinese cities, there is milk for
sale, but it is not the milk Of beasts and
is used for babes and old persons. Those
of the European residents who insist IN