Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-05-14

mother. "Then, madam, you'll have
to pay for him." That's fraud! Pay
for hin1-why, I haven't been paying
for him for years and years"
WATCHES we're first invented in Nurem-
burg by Peter Halle. They used to be
called Nuremburg eggs, because they
were oval in shape. It took many years
to bring them to their present state. of
perfection, and to render them the COM
mon convenience Of the present day.
BERTHE had half biscuit buttered,
and a whole one unbuttered. He gave
Oracle the whole one, and kept the but
tered. A remark being made about his
giving away the larger piece, Oracle
said: " Yes, he gave me the biggerest,
and kept the butterest." x * > ,
THERE are some men SO homely that
pretty women fly to them and marry
them for PHYS sake. Why, a'man may
be SO ugly that his face actually aches
from pain caused by it's terrible shape,
and yet that man will become owner
and proprietor of one, Of the sweetest
little women in the world.
N1Hm1sM, in all it's doctrines and prac-
tees, was invented by Wang-ngan- Tche,
Chinese chief, born in 1927, who re-
duced it to Socialistic system superior
to those Of Proud'hor, Marx, Lassalle
and Bakounine, and in 1869 Wang-ng
Tche was the most powerful man in the
empire next to the Emperor.
WHEN Boulton, the engineer, partner
OF Watt, stood in the presence Of
George III. to open to him the mys-
terry of the steam-engine, and the King
asked him as he might ask peddler,
"What do you sell, sir?" Boulton re.
piled, What Kings, sire, are all fond
of-power."
LITTLE Master Roddy had been in the
habit Of putting his pennies into the box
at Sunday school till last Sunday. when
he came running into the house in a
breathless hurry, and shouted, "Mam-
ma, shan't save my pennies any more.
The money don't go up to God. I saw
Mr.. Kelley take it and put it in his
pocket"
CLERGYMAN to newly-wedded pair
The marriage state imposes various
duties. The husband must protect the
wife, while the wife must follow the
husband wheresoever he goes" Bride
-":Lor', sir, can't that be altered in GU,
case? My husband is going to be a
country postman."
A HEN always kicks backward after
laying all egg. A Bridgeport Yankee
is reported to have turned this fact to
account in inventing device TO pre-
vent the sale of stale eggs. When the
hen kicks she hits an electric disk, to
which is attached a rubber stamp, and
the apparatus stamps the date on each
egg.
A GENTLEMAN was conversing with
an English doctor about very famous
Scotch surgeon, whose audacity in his
experiments was at least equal to his
skill. Il wonder" said he, innocently,
"why such man remains in Scotland p
Because" answered the doctor,
gravely, lin Scotland there are no Cor
oner's inquests."
If every shred of wool sheared from
the sheep of the universe, and every
fiber of cotton picked from this terres-
trial ball, could be spun into yarn and
knitted into one stocking, which would
be as long as the bottomless pit is deep,
and big around enough to use the equa
torfor a ter,itwouldn't hold enoug n to
satisfy the Christmas wishes of a curly
haired girl of 5 tender but precocious
years.
| The wife Of Norman peasant is III,
| A physician is called in. evil you pay
| ?" asks the mistustful doctor. ooh.
Monsieur" says the husband, holding up
| five louis, "kill her or cure her, these
are yours. The patient dies, and the
doctor demands the five louis. "Par-
don p says the widower. "Did you kill
my wife ?" emo" "Did you cure her?''
Ono, alas!'' every WE'LL. since you
neither cured her nor killed her, you did
not stand by our agreement, and I owe
you nothing"
WILLIAM BERNARD murdered his aunt
at rancho in New Mexico, took 800 of
her savings, and went away. After 60
ing half mile he discovered that he
had made track of blood all the way.
a barefooted tramp came along, and to
him Bernard gave the dangerous boots,
obtaining another pair from friend for
himself. The tramp was arrested, and,
as his guilt was not doubted, Bernard
almost succeeded in having him hanged
by mob before the truth came out.
ETHAN ALLEN, whose misfortune it
was to have termagant for wife, had
and deserved reputation for courage
of the leonine kind. Some wags
thought to frighten him once, but they
mistook their man. One of them, ar
rayed in a sheet, stepped in front of
him in the road late one dark night
when he was on his way homeward.
Ethan stopped, looked at the specter,
and without moments hesitation ex.
claimed, IF you come from heaven, /
don't fear you. If you are the devil,
come home and spend the night with
me-. I married your sister, -
An Exciting Barefoot Adventure.
Prompt action in tight place has
good example in the following from
Georgia paper: A young man named
Penny, while out hunting his steers
barefoot, stepped on the head Of large
rattlesnake. He had his heel on the
snakes head, and, being afraid to move;
did not know what to do for some time;
while the hideous thing was writhing
and squirming,. and vigorously lashing
the youths legs. Penny was badly
frightened, but recovered presence Of
mind sufficient to take out his knife and
reach down and cut off the snakes head.
ARCHERY was first introduced by the
Saxons in the time Of Voltigeur. It was
dropped Immediately after the conquest,
but was revived by the Crusaders. The
Normans used the cross-bow until after
the time Of Edward II when the long
bow supplanted it and became the favor
tie national weapon. Bows and, arrows
as weapons Of war were In use with stone
cannon balls as late as 1910. All the.
statutes for the encouragement of arch
cry were framed after the invention of
gunpowder and firearms, the object be-
ing to prevent this ancient weapon be-
coming obsolete. Yew-trees we're en-
conraged in church yards for the maxi
ing Of bows in 1642.
VERY beautiful baskets for holding
flowers can be made of the longer and
more feathery kind Of MOSES. q LIGHT.
frame, Of any shape you like, should be
made with wire and covered with COM
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