Daily Republican., 1880-03-18
YUa roR QUE rsrEHDs.
aug hasEe Things said and Tsld
By the Humorlsfs OF the Day.


-
IL aug habro Things said and Tsle
By the Humorfsfs OF the Day.
Some funny incidents occur ON Thu
night cars on the Bellefontaine railway
says the 81. Louis "Republioan," and
mot the least droll among these, recent
Ily, was what followed the advent, OIL
the |. so car, of 3 vigorous lady, who
with her husband, had evidently beer
making q late visit Of the house Of
friend. She was q stalwart, aggressiv.
female, in rather striking personal
contrast to her milk and wstery- looking
husband, and as soon as she had taken
her seat, she thrust her head forward
and began careful scrutiny Of the face
Of lady OH the opposite eide Of the
car. She evidently knew, or thought
she knew, the name Of the person she
was staring at. Finally, unable 10 re-
strain herself any longer, she asked
"Ain't you Mary SlAwson, that was''
The lady addressed replied that she
had formerly borne that name, though
she had been marie d since.
Sand don't you remember me! We
used to live close by you, you know"
ooh, yes remember You well.'
"Ah, thought you would"
"Well I've lost my daughter Sarah
since ! knew you"
"Indeed, l am sorry to hear that"
eyes, and John-you remember John
well--he's lost a leg"
"That is very bad, I'm sure"
"Yss, had 1t cut of by the cars and
my daughter Jane, she's lost her hus,
band"
"That is too bad"
"Yss, and Henry---you remember my
son Henry-he's lost his place"
"That is unfortunate, certainly"
ooh, IFS real mea1; and I've lost
all my teeth"
81 hadn't noticed It, I'm sure"
"That's because I've got new ones !;
but I've lost 'enl just the same, and my
husband. he's lost most Of his hair"
The lady on the other side Of the
car had exhausted her stock Of sympa-
thetic expressions, and said nothing.
The lady who had lost 80 much In one
way or another leaned hack in her
place, beaming with satisfaction and
selfsufiicienoy. She had evidently
profound contempt for such people as
talk abou. the weather when they met
q friend.
The LIME.KILN CLUB.-The commit
tee on Astronomy asked leave to report.
and being told to 60 ahead, led of
with:
"Dis committee, after Icing an pa
shient investigashuu, has diskiysred
dat de average family consumes TO- doz-
en- clothes.pins AID three new clothes
lines per var. A washbo'd last do
average"
~ callide committee to order on de
spot !" interrupted Brother Gardner as
he stretched up to his full height.
The chairman let the washboard
drop then and the1e and the President
"What nez Washbo'ds an clothes,
piDs, an average families, and clothes
lines cot to do wild astronomy What
loes dis committee mean Ivy handin' in
such a report"
The Chairman responded that the
committee had been sioshing around
Tor several weeks without anything par
ocular to do, and it had started out to
gather facts OF supposed great interest
10 the club.
"In de- fucher," said the President,
'de Committee on Astronomy will tend
10 its own bizness, an let dat Of de Ju.
lishusry an odder committees alone.
our Lizuess am to look after de sun,
moon, stare, 'olipses, rainbows an SO
IN, an yea am depended on to do it.
How long family will las. a clothes
pin, or how long wash board will last
j clothes line, am stistics which should
be furnished de public from Lancaster,
N de State OBJ Pennsylvania. De COM
nittes am severely reprimanded, an
ordered to take seat on de back bench
3 fur de mex month"
No LOSS OF coNFIDErcE-A Detroit gro
yer had a patent money drawer attach
ID to his counter the other day, and it
vas no sooner in working order than
ais clerk rendered his resignation.
"You going to leaveF Why what's the
natteri" asked the grocer.
81 don't want to stay where a person
las lost confidence in me-"
'Do you refer to that new till"
eyes"
"well, yen are very foolish. l have
,ot lost the least bit Of confidence in
vour honesty, but l SIMPLY argued that
{ you had less change to squander out
tide could have more Of your time in
he store! Loss Of confidence! The idea
8 absurd"
The satisfied clerk took off his hat and
to duty.
PARAGRAPHIc PIcKISGs.
1t is not so pleasant to be q prince
.fter all. He is not permitted to select
lis own bride. He may fall in love
With girl as beautiful ss houri, and
IS good as an angel, but unless she is
.su.S.hor - n pouol founilu ha ,oust