The daily gazette. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1874-1883, 1880-10-12
FIGURES, FORTHE FAMILY.


ink. I'll look over your accounts and
stralghten 'em out for you. I think
your idea of keeping an account of the
daily expenses is the best thing Won ever
did. It's business like, and 1 want to
encourage You in it.
=" Here's the ink, said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, growing radiant at the compli-
ment. had the pen day before yes
terday Let me think" and she dove
nervously under the bureau.
well, do you suppose I'm going to
split up my fingure and write With
that" demanded Mr.. Spoopendyke.
where's the penn want the peti.n
II put 1t somewhere" said Mrs.
Hpoopendyke. "Ahi here / have IL
Now you see," she continued. II put
what money 1 spend down here. This
Il. your account here and this Is the
joint account. You know"
whats thisP" asked Mr.. Spoonpen-
dyke: -
That's your account; this"
In the second line"
"ThatP oh, that's a T."
"S'pose / ever spent seven dollars
wit b a tail like to itp If you're going
to make figures, why don't you make
figures. What dye want to make a
picture of prize fight in a column of
accounts forp What is this elephant
doing herep"
II think that's g." replied Mrs.
Spoopendyke, obviously. maybe it's
4; | can tell by adding it up"
What are you going to add upP
Dye count in this corner lot and that
Dye add them imp" = -
0Thafta ond that 10 -
the last is an 8. They come out ali
right, and during the lass month you
have spent more than 1 and the Joint
account together"
Haven't either. When did spend
this broken-down gunboatp"
THAT amt boat. It's $40 for your
well, this tramp fishing off rock,
when did 1 spend himp"
1t amt a tramp. It's $50 cash you
took, and 1 don't know what you spent
1t for. Look at my account, now-6
What's the man pulling a gig forp"
agig, it's 81 for wiggin. You see I've
only spent 1922 in month, and you've
spent $l84"
You can't tell by this what I've
done" growled Mr.. Snoopendyke.
Whats this rat trap doing in the
joint accountp"
That's fourteen cents for fruit, when
you were sick.n
!" And this measly- looking old hen,
what's she got to do with itP'
That's ne hen. That's 3. 1t means
~ for having your chair mended."
What have you charged me with
this old graveyard forp"
That's FIFTEEN cents for sleeve elias
ties Tho TX oir,f rlaita lint Al 70 49,
it is:n
How do you make out 1 have spent
so muchP Where's the vouchersP Show
me the vouchersP
II don't know what you mean, =" said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, "but you spent all
put down."
-" Haven't done anything of the sort.
Show me some vouchers. Your ac-
counts a humbug. You don't know
how to keep an account"
Yes, ! Do, pleaded Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. land l think it's all right"
No you don't. What do you mean
by getting up engravings of a second.
hand furniture store and claiming that
it's my ACCOUNT You're great book
keeper, you are. All you want is a sign
hung between you and the other side of
the street, to be a commercial college.
II ever fail in business. I'm going to
MI you up with benches and start a
night school. Give me that pen," and
Mr.. Spoopendyke commenced running
up the columns. 1.-TWO two's four and
eight twelve and four sixteen and carry
one to the next and three is four. Here,
this is wrong. You've got an eighteen
for twenty here"
"Ehp" jerked out Mrs. Spoopendyke.
This is 1904. not $I94. 1 knew you
couldn't keep accounts. You can't even
add up"
"That makes your account even
bigger" responded Mrs. Spoopendyke.
didn't think it was so much"
Slam went the book across the room
followed by the pen, and the ink would
have gone too, but Mrs. Spoopendyke
cautiously placed 1t out of harms way.
"Dod CAST it'll" howled Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, as he tore of his clothes and pre-
pared for bed. You amt fit to have
pen and ink. Next time 1 want INV
accounts kept I'll keep 'em chained up
in the yard, and don't you go near 'em;
hear mep"
"Yes, DEAR" sighed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, as she slipped the obnoxious book |
into the drawer. Brooklyn Eagle.