Morning journal and courier., 1880-02-02
A FULL SETs

When the contribution box comes round nodding assent won't do.
 Buffalo Bill in his book tells of beef cattle so poor that he had to prop them up to shoot them down.-New Orleans Picayune.
 Woman does not want the ballot half so much as she does hair that will bang for seven straight years without becoming frowsy. Gin cinnati Gazette.
 Kansas boy earned nice Bible by com hitting three hundred verses to memory, and then he traded his Bible for shotgun and accidentally shot his aunt in the leg.
 An inquirer asks: s'Where is the warmest by an active hornet he would know without appealing to the public press.-New Orleans Picayune.
 A bright youth asked: sFather, are you in favor of reading the Bible in the public schools ?" The father replied that he was most thoroughly. The youth continued |: s'WeIl, thought so. for you never read it at home." This ended the discussion of it in that family for that day.
 clergyman recently said that many one, while apparently singing with all his might the lines, "Were the whole realm of nature mine. that were present far too small, was diligently engaged with one hand in his pocket in scraping the edge of a three cent piece to make sure that 1t was not 8 dime. Light.
 The preacher was talking to the Sunday school about the power of religion, and the devotion of the zealous to the cause and their attendance upon the services. Finally he asked if there was anything to which people would go twice every Sunday and through the week as they did to church, when small boy with twisted tongue on the front seat spoke out fsYeth, thir, thircus would keith 'em every pop if they could git in free, like they do ko oEr1rn ba oreophar thoOCht if vo time to sing.-Steubenvilie Herald. An Tong is an observing Celestial, who serves in the humble capacity of dishwasher at the Palace eating stand. The American cocktail being mystery to him, he has been watching it's operations. This morning he ex- plained: "One Melican man he come in he say, 'Bimeby me ketchum bleakfas' He dlink wan cocktail, he say, Please cook me bleak fas.' He dlink two cocktail, he say, Gimme bleakfas plutty quick Putty soon he dlink tlee cocktail, he yell loud, Hey! hello! where thunder my bleakfas ?'"-Virginia City (Nev.) Enterprise.
 The committee on inland navigation of the Limekiln Club were some time since requested to investigate the question whether tobacco is injurious. and make report, and at this meet ing the chairman signifed his readiness to go ahead. Leave being granted, he unrolled his manuscript and began: 'tDis committee be- gan at plug tobacco early in de mawnin' and quit off on shorts late at night. We smelt, we chawed. We visited fo' different tobacco fac tories and each one of them tole us dat tobacco was healthy. We visited sixteen places where dey sell de weed, an dey tole us de same thing. We axed ebery man dat we could get to who chaws tobacco, an dey all agreed that tobacco was powerful soothin' to de nerves. Dis com mittee herself hez used plug an fne-cut of an on for ober thirty y'ars. We hez used it at the hymenical altar an at de grave-by the fiah- side an in de recesses of de howlin' wilderness, an it am our opinyun, cut up inter solid chunks 12x12, dat tobacco nebber hurt nobody, but has dun fousands heap O good. An so forth, an we will eber pray" Detroit Free Praaa