The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-03-04
Phantom Phacts.-Elucidated By Will
liam Arp.

and attend court, but the women have to
stay at home most all the time, and so
when they want to have little frolic, /
never say nay, provided it don't cost any
thing hardly.
Well, the other day we had pudding
for dinner. 1 am always suspicious
about puddings, and the girls seemed un.
common sweet and one ofthem remarked
that we had been living here two or three
years and the nabors had been very kind
and sociable and we had never given
party. Then they helped me to some
more pudding and paused. After
while another one asked me what
thought of having little sociable on
Friday night, and l was obidged to re-
mark | thought it would be very becom-
ing, and so the thing was settled and they
began to stir round quite lively and
wrote up about half otmy paper in invi-
tations. soon discovered it was to be Il
kind of joint stock concern with Mrs. Ma
Dor Freeman, for they we're going to and
fro and hither and thilher and they all
put on their working aprons and went to
beating eggs and stirring batter, and some
more young ladies dropped in to help
and 1 never heard such rippet as they
kept up all day. Two of them said they
had to 60 to town on little business and
wanted little change for the sugar WAS
out and the coffee was low and the need
ed few lemons, and if I could afford it
a few apples, and oranges would be so
nice aud they talked so aflectionate, was
obledged to surrender, and told 'em where
my pocket book was, and to spend as
little as possible, for owed the black
smith and some other little bills that was
pressing. About the time they got STAR
ted they said our good nabor had furn-
ished the turkeys, and we ought to fur
nish ham, for ours were not cured, and
an old one would be so nice and would
help out wonderfully, for they dident be-
lieve the turkey would quite 60 round.
BY this time had been gently tollcd
along into a state of resignation. I had
become as clay in the hands of the pot
ter, for there was my nabor winking at
the girls and smiling at me so sweetly and
l could hear her tell them as l walked
out of the room they had the best father
in the world.
All, these women, these blessed wo-
men Well they spent every dollar of
change, and went on credit for the bal
ance.
Next morning they put me to painting
the mantlepiece, and then showed me the
new calico curtains, and said I must
make cornices to hang them to, all of
which did, and then I had to paint the
cornices, and me and the boys had to
turn out and replenish the wood pile and
go to the woods after lightwood, and ev-
cry time went in the house they put me
at something, and ever and anon heard
them talking about sheets and pillow
cases dominoes, and l had put the chill
drens box of dominoes away to keen
from being lost, and so I went and got
them and asked if that was what they
wanted and they took the Mysteries and
said they were going to have fantom
party, and explained it all to ME, and I
thought it would be quite an episode, for
/ hadn't been to circus nor seen Il
clown in long time, and so it was ar
ranged that 1 was to receive and welcome
the fantoms and introduce EN- to the
festivities.
The next day was the last day of the
grand preparation. All hands began
early to clean up the house and set the
banquet table. They kindly permitted
me TO inspect it once or twice, and as
kindly locked the door when came out.
After an impoverished lunch they asked
for my assistance about taking up the
bedsteads, and taking up the carpet and
removing the bureaus from our large
family room. Right then shock came
over my forbearing nature.
"What is all this for?" said !.
"Why, to dance in; we want this room
for the fantoms to dance in"
Where am I to sleep to.night?"
said mournfully.
"Oh, you can put the bed back again
after the frolic is over. 1t won't be very
much tronble.' they said, and they pat
ted me lovingly on my aged cheek.
Well, / got to thinking it all over, and
come to the conclusion that it wasent SO
dreadful bad after all. It wasent
as bad as war, nor death, nor
pestilence, and dident happen more than
once in two or three years, and SO l con-
cluded to make the best of it. COM
forted myself by calling to mind that
some thirty odd years ago 1 was sorter
of phantom myself, for I went five
miles in the country one dark and rainy
evening to an old-fashioned frolic, and
We
Lanced all night, till broad day light,
And went homo with the girls In the morning"
When the clock struck eight the i'm
portant crisis which were to have ariven
arove and 1 spied coming up the dark
avenue q couple of fantoms arrayed in
white sheets and other DISCUSSES. I re-
ceived them boldly, and as we already
had some guests in the parlor who were
not fantoms but genuine respectable peo-
pie, gently inquired of the phantoms
their names, so that could introduce em
as was instructed. But the female fan
tom airted by me and went straight to
the girls room, and the male fantom
gave an Injun grunt and followed me
into the parlor. Of course I felt very
much embarrassed, but he dident, and so
for want of better name took him
round and introduced him as Colonel
Rip Van Winkle, of North Carolina.
And as they kept coming in and would
ent give any names, 1 had to name 'em
until l run out and another trouble was
couldn't tell male fantom from a fe-
male fantom, and it was a delicate ques-
ton to ask anybody, but after while they
all got in some how and when the music
begun they all took the right kind of
partners reckon. Nabor Freeman is a
mighty knowing man and said he diden.t
even know his own wife which seemed to
make him lose confidence in himself the
balance Of the evening When supper
was announced the fantoms disrobed and
then the birds began to chatter to make
up for lost time. All went merry as a
marriage bell, and after the banquet they
resumed the merry dance and we inter-
spcrsed the occasion with parlor music
| and uhilad nwau the uaa cnaall honru On