Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1880-01-27
HEALTHY MAxIMs,
To BE PASTED IN THE HAT FOE USE IN
ExERoExcrrs.

Don't you love to read the maxims
which some wise man writes for the news
papen, useful rules which are intended
to save human life and alleviate human
suffering. There is always 90 much
practical common sense in them. Here
is batch, for instance:
"For dust in the eyes avoid rubbing
and dash watsr in them"
This is especially useful when you are
on the can and there isn't drop Of water
in the country nearer than the engine or
the next lake, 4S miles behind you.
"Remove cinders with the point of a
pencil"
We never saw that operation tried but
once, and then il was successful. The
man got out the cinder. He also put
out his eye.
Remove insects from the ear by tepid
water; never put hard instrument into
the ear"
Yes, that is pretty advice now, isn't
il, Suppose an Indian Peace Commits
sioner gets an insect in his ear when he
is out in Colorado. Is that man to suffer
until he can reach the Mississippi River
in order to get enough water to fill bis ear,
'.For light burns, dip the part in cold
water; if the skin is destroyed, cover
with varnish."
A beautiful spectacle a man would
present who had gone up on a boiler ex-
cursion in steamboat race, and had
come down scalded just enough to make
two coats Of furniture varnish necessity
according to this admirable rule.
"Before passing. through smoke, take
full breath and stoop low"
Just imagine what circus q smoking
car would present If every man who en-
tered it kept that rule pasted in his hat.
Smother fire with carpets; water
will often spread burning oil and increase
the danger"
That's all well enough. but when
mans house is on fire and burning faster
than three steam-engines can throw wa
ter, he hasn't the time, and frequently he
hasn't the money, to buy whole carpet
store to throw over the conaagration.
And we don't suppose anything less than
a tapestry Brussels would do any good.
"For fainting, lay the body fat"
Now, that is a good rule; there Is
some sense in that. Because, If you are
careful to lay your body Fat before you
faint it may save you terrific thump
when you fall. Let US add to this rule
the advice, never faint on ladder. or in
balloon, or on the top Of church-stee-
pie, or in front Of runaway team. 1t
isn't safe.
"Suck poisonous wounds, unless your
mouth is sore; enlarge the wound. or
better. cut the wound out without delay"
If that isn't lively piece Of advice
for a sane man to give to healthy people
Listen here-don't you do anything Of
the kind. And if you get scratch on
the throat don't enlarge it or cut it out.
And if you get wound on the back of
your neck don't you try to reach it with
your mouth. Somebody will try that
some day and there'll be a broken neck
in the family.
"If in the water, float on the back,
with the mouth and nose projecting
Now, this is the best rule Of the lot.
That is the cap sheaf. You cut that out
and paste it on your cuff, where you can
always see it. Just follow that rule and
you will never drown. No matter If
you stay in the water 20 years, if you
viii just float on your back. with the
nose and mouth projecting above the
water, you won't drown. We don't know
what wise man wrote these rules, but
this last one is worth all the rest.-Br-
lington Hatokeye.