Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1880-01-15
MfscefIany.

when slipped up, leii uo"n'
Oficial-a marriage certificate.
oh, be joyful-but not with wine.
tits 1SSO-and don't you forget IL.
Presents of mind-bits of advice.
The wind always finds something to
blow about.
You may look evergreen and never
look spruce.
A dry dock-a physician going in TO
take drink.
The more butter goes down the faster
the price goes up.
A pistol is not half so dangerous when
the owner is not loaded.
Next to a wife, the easiest thing for
poor man to get, is to get in debt.
The song, awhy don't the men pro-
pose" is now out of date.
Tilden says, and says it boldly, he is
in the hands of the Democratic party.
'Tis sweet to be remembered-but not
with unpaid bills.
Stephen A. Douglas, jr., will lecture
In several of the interior towns of Illi-
nois this winter.
Help the printer and-he will help you.
If he don't he is no printer.
Rich mems sons have SO little stamina
because they iced off of pap all their
days.
The Germans in Germany smoke
1000, ,000, 900 cigars year, besides 3d.
o00,00 pounds of tobacco IN their
pipes. FY
A young lady is not like tree You
can not estimate her age by counting
her rings.
Joseph Abair, of Winooski, Vermont,
is the father of boy six years old that
weighs one hundred and five pounds.
The Chicago Journal has discovered,
since false hips have come into use, that
figures will lie.
Pride goeth before q pair of tight
boots, and corns cometh after them.
The household that keeps baby can
afford to sell its alarm clock very cheap.
Material fact-the Hindoo widow is
the only one that cremates. The others
remate, n 80
Why a doornail is any more dead than
door must be because it has been hit
on the head.
Most of the evils of life are not the
things which happen, but the things we
fear will happen.
1t is absurd to suppose that man can
speak above his breath, since his mouth
is below his nose.
We know of man who wants an ice
house-and a woman that wants
nice house too.
The man who sighed for the wings
of dove probably did not know that
the legs were much better eating.
Princess Alexander, wife of the
Prince of Wales, is somewhat deaf, and
has ordered an American audiphone.
Miss Drever, young lady belonging
to fashionable society in San Francisco,
has shocked her friends by announcing
her bethrothal to a Chinaman.
The statement is revived that General
Joe Johnston, of Virginia, is to offer a
bill in the House to make General Grant
a Captain-Generali in the army.
General Grant is the first ex-President
who has visited the upper part of South
Carolina since Washington travelled
there in his private carriage in 1897.
Boston is becoming very nervous over
what appears to be the most malignant
type of diphtheria raging in their
midst. Saturday over thirty cases were
reported in the city. The disease seems
to attack all classes.
OF forty-two prominent Republicans,
interviewed at Columbus, Saturday,
twenty-seven declared in favor of
Sherman for the Presidency.
A rich Frenchman, who had once been
bankrupt, was asked why he did not
pay his old debts. "No," he rejoined,
t'I do not wish TO recall souvenirs so
painful"
Joaquin Miller was reused at an early
hour one morning by the smell of fried
onions permeating into his sleeping
apartment, whereupon he remarked,
"Arose by any other name would smell
as sweet"
Observing little brothers. remark be-
fore room full of company; "I
know what made that red mark on
Mary's nose; it was the rim of John
Parker's hat" And there are girls
who believe that little brothers never
go to heaven.-[ Andrews Bazaar.
When an honest hen is laying the
foundation for family. and doing all
the hard work, some absurd rooster is
ready to do the growing.
Bishop Gilbert Haven, one of the
Bishops of the Methodist Church, died
at six O'Clock Saturday evening at the
residence of his son in Maiden, near
Boston. He was unconscious for twen-
ty-four hours before his death.
Three of the Methodist Bishops have
died since General Conference, viz !:
Bishop James, Of New York, the senior
In the Church after the death of Bishop
Morris; Bishop Ames, of Baltimore !;
Bishop Haven, whose official residence
was in Atlanta.