The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1880-12-28
Some Extracts from Ben D'ymion.
By THE AUTHOR OF "LoAFAIR.
From Punch ~

By THE AUTHOR OF "LoAFAR."
From Punch
1t was warm and rich night In August.
when the Right Honorable William Gladstars"
descended tho celebrated eminence Of Houns-
ditch Hill. He had hardly got beyond the top
OF Whitechapel Lane. when he met the Mar
quis of Flibbertigibbet. 1i'a7
"You are the precise person was wanting
| to see," said the distinguished statesman,
lightly punching that nobleman In the region
of his alimentary canal. The great are always
| affable. r,
The marquis drew himself up. II have but
| Just returned from Windsor"
"From Windsor"
"And Newton. There's news at Newtor--
mean Windsor. The King has sent for tho
| Duke"
Now Mr.. Gladstars was Tory,f and firm
believer in the Iron Duke he could hardly
restrain delight at the intelligence. After
| throwing his hat into the air five times, slap
| ping the Marquis very heartily in the small OF
his back, and executing a pas sem ON the pave.
| ment he calculated:
| ''The Duke has saved France"
| Europe be blowedI" replied the marquis,
while wrinkle OF contempt disarranged his
| Titanic nose, and q frown gathered On his
Olympian brow. Then, clutching Gladstars
violently by the arm, at the same time foam
! ing slightly at the mouth, he exclaimed: "It
| may be my fancy, but l can't resist the impres-
| sion-a change is coming"
81 should welcome any change remarked
the privy councillor, "that took your hand
| Oft my biceps. 'Tis positive torture ] en-
dure" ss. ,gtaf .e
ENDURE" said the marquis, decidedly;
| everything comes to him who can endure"
And parting, the two statesmen pursued
| their respective courses; the nobleman wrap
| ped his emblazoned cloak around his Corinthi-
! an form, and dived into the dead meat market,
4 while the Right Hon. Gladstars proceeded on
the knife-board of a city bus to the Office Of
The Quarterly Screaner ~. .r. +.I-
Semolina was the Empress of London, OF
| fashion, and OF the tory party. She was al
ways at home to her intimates, so she did not
| get much exercise; at this moment she was re-
clining. on brilliant. sofa, amaiestic footstool
at her feet, supported by romantic cushions
| In a chair just in front OF her, with bib and
| pinafore on, and catching up every word that
| fell from her lips sat Great Parsonage. A
couple OF bishops and a Cabinet Minister were
| playing at cats cradle In an alcove; while,
more remote, some danes Of high degree were
surrounded by cavaliers of ancient lineage,
whose every word was bon mot, and every
movement a whole volume Of society etiquette.
| Servants glided about in muffled skates over
the shining parquet, distributing sherry cob
| blers and gin cocktails to the visitors while at
half minute intervals mysterious and noble
looking strangers appeared at the door, few to
Semolina's outstretched palm, imprinted an
ilnpaSsioned kiss on her bejeweled finger, and
| then suddenly vanished into airl 5f-d
What want you to see" said Semolina,
"only you're so thoroughly obtuse, Is that re-
action is the law Of life, that you can't got on
without the Temple and the Bar, that the In
| PRODUCTION of Gas win be fatal to the Crown,
that Public Opinion is all humbug, that
changes are likely to happen unless things 90
on as they are, and that on the Eve Of change
Adamantine fortitude Is imper.tively demand
| ed. hope you clearly follow me2" e-
But the Great Parsonage had fallen fast
asleep, and was snoring. Semolina was dis
gusted. isnU o1-lHol
"The age OF Liberalism is come!" she OK.
claimed; and kicking the low chair from un-
apartment, and slammed the portal behind
her. Naa2fsf 9.N ia 7tt
*dVS - a7R
Mr.. Gladstars was a constant contributor to
The Quarterly Screamer. He was not q
Heaven-born minister, but where he came
from is matter OF no importance here Ear
" initiated into the mysteries OF nEton and
Christchurch, he had fund of Latin quots-
tions, a happy knack Of catching the speakers
eye, and was as eloquent as Burke and =; &C
who was an heiress. They had two children
twins.
"If ever had son." he said one day at
dinner to Count Guavajeli, T swore his
name is Tyra." h. -a, as.a
These children are to be my Hero and He
roine! They were excellently behaved young
people. When anyone spoke to them, they
put out their tongues, shrugged their shoul-
ders and stared haughtily. ...f.., M
Ben D'ymion had q face Of majestic beauty.
and 30 had Tyra. He was clad in blue vel
vet jacket, with red Spanish filagree buttons,
shirt OF lace, and waistcoat Of yellow dam
ask. Iyra also wore Spanish, filagree buttons.
Everything about her was either Spanish or
flagree. Her long -ingets were braided with
pearls. 1t was poetical-it was "Tete and
Brady" vEW EWfrAK
What are you going to be?" asked kind
old Lord Gooseberry Of the boy.
Its like your impudence to ask. replied
Ben D'yminon, at this time about 8 years old.
"Im going to Eton and Christcharch, and
then shall be prime minister a good deal
sooner than you can say Jack Robinson"
"Tyra," remarked q handsome young pri-
vate secretary, remember you've promised to
marry me some day!
Not If know it," proudly answered the
ly." And the child resumed the cracking Of
the walnuts.
- = s #s
Vigil Pillbox had fallen in love with Tyra.
He was fifteen and she was twelve; He was q
very High-and-dry-church boy. He took her
out for walks and gave her almond-roak. .
"You are not high and dry?" he asked. as
they were walking through valley in
"No 1 feel particularly low and wet,r she
answered. "Shall we return" -
r-"Tyra! l love youi As you are not an
Erastian you shall be minel1
"My dear Vigil, shan't. l live only for
my brother--and myself. l intend to be q
INV bro fhap To, ho
prime minister. My creed is that human
will can accomplish any object it resolutely
determines to attain. It's not q very long
creed, nor very good one, but it'll do"
lator, and vigil Wheeled her home.
Lord Littlehampton, though he was a cabi-
net minister, was Of an obliging disposition.
As people expected him to marry Leonora, he
thought he would try. ~.
"Leonora, do you love me9. 20 shioina
lis my money only you want!' and the
maiden blushed . dauson hns. hf.d danny
Money!" said Lord Littlehampton, musing,
There's no doubt that money makes the nov
Base and naughty mani" sobbed Leouora,
Then you do want my money" and she fed
in tears from the apartment. nsl1 es.aI
Then Lord Lttlehampton determined to try
Tyra. Though She was forty-fye years and
threaquarters his junior, he had always liked
her. thali4 80 lT el77''-'
"Tyra! Do you, love ma? win you be
mine?'' 20 -t7i-
The penniless dependent was startled. ,isg
Love you'll" she replied. mot . bit. But
will be yours. Ls.eni' And she grasped
the aged nobleman rather violently by the
wrist. ITS my, creed that what human will
determines on" .,r u. ,.as. r- .tis.-
"oh, yes, yes" said Lord Littlehampton.
I've heard you say that before. The ques-
tion is, what have you determined on?" 10 ri
10 get to the top OF the tree" said Tyra,
and to take Ben D'ymion up with me. Asl
said before, to accomplish that object, am
even ready to marry you'll
Beautiful and truly feminine creature"
exclaimed Lord Littlehampton. "Some peo-
pie would call this an ambition fit for an uu.
scrupulous adyenturer, not for a modern Eng.
lish maiden. But don't think so at ails
And folding her to his embroidered waistcoat
in one fond embrace, he lesped into his
brougham, lit cigar, and thought about the
coming budget. 81. rf 7uaft5-
END of Volume H. saa'r.t
sEarl TO Editor-See the joke? They'll think !
mean this for W. K. G. But do i? Watch me
carefully and yon II see-what you will see. -.fr
tSame to same-Who Is II now eh? Mixed 'em