davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Sound and Sense.

The following is an illustration of pro-
nunciation and spelling in the use of
wrong words which have the same pro-
nunciation as the right words, and
which, properly read, would sound
right. The story: A rite suite little
buoy, the sun Of CRATE kernal, with a
rough about his neck, fue up the rode
swift as eh dear. After a thyme he
stopped at a gnu house and wrung the
belle. His tow hurt hymn, and he
kneaded wrest. He was two tired to
raise his fare, pail face. A feint mown
of pane rows from his lips. The made
who herd the belle was about to pair a
pare, but she through it down and ran
with all her mite, for fear her guessed
wood not weight. Butt when she saw
the little won tiers stood in her eyes at
the site. "Ewe poor deer! Why due
yew lye hear? Are yew dyeing?"
Know he said, Il am feint to thee
corps" She boar him inn her arms, as
she aught, too room where he mite bee
quiet, gave him bred and meet, held
cent under his knows, tide his choler,
raped him warmly, gave him some
suite drachm from VOL, till at last he
went fourth hail as a young hoarse. His
eyes shown, his cheek was as read as
q flour, and he gambled hole our.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Tree Culture.

European Lao'ch. Robert Douglas
d Sons, of Waukegan. ILL.,, say Of this
that it succeeds best planted on gravel
" upland, anywhere north Of the 10th
parallel grows rapidly even on thin,
poor soils. Timber durable and valu-
able for ties, posts, etc. If planted on
very rich or unframed soils, the timber
is said to be Of little value. Must be
planted very early in the spring.
White Ash.-This they remark may
be planted in rich, strong soil, in any
portion Of the United States north Of
the 38th parallel. Wood unequaed for
all purposes requiring strength, elastici-
ty and lightness. It is becoming scarce,
and is in great demand.
Hardy Catalpa, G. speciosa, may be
planted in rich, strong soil, anywhere
south of the 42d parallel, but has not
been tested in New England. Is espe-
cially recommended for the Western
prairies, where the growth is exceeding
" rapid. Wood unequaled for durabili-
ty, and in great demand for ties, posts,
ETC., also valuable for cabinet work.
Especially recommended.
Wild Black Cherry, Prunus seroti-
ma, may be planted in any part OF the
United States, in dry soil. Grows
rapidly. Wood in great demand for
cabinet making.
:, Scotch Pi,ae.-Will grow rapidly. in
the poorest soil and most exposed situa-
ton, where it will make better stimber
than on too rich soil.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
What s. Wife, Means.

Says Ruskin: 'sWhat do yon think
the beautiful word wife comes from :?
It is the great word in which the En-
glish and Latin languages conquered
the French and Greek. I hope the
French will some day get a word for it
instead Of that femme. But what do
you think it comes from? The great
value Of the Saxon words is that they
mean something. Wife means weaver :
You must either be housewives or house
moths, remember that. In the deep
sense, you must either weave mems
fortunes and embroider them, or feed
upon and bring them to decay. Wher-
ever true wife comes, home is always
around her. The stars may be over her
head, the glow-worm in the nights cold
grass may be the fire at her feet. but
home is where she is, and for q noble
woman it stretches far around her. bet
ter than houses ceiled with cedar or
painted with vermilion shedding its
quiet light for those who else are home
less. This, I believe, is the woman's
true place and power"
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Smoking.

The evils Of juvenile smoking were
considered at a conference Of Sunday
school and day school teachers IN Man
chester, England. DR.. Emrys-Jone
Of the Royal Eye Hospital, who presid.
ed, laid special stress upon the injurious
Influences of tobacco upon the sight.
and said he was convinced that the use
Of tobacco, say Of half an ounce q day
Tor ter or fifteen years, resulted in seri-
Gus injury to the eyes, and sometimes
IN absolute blindness. Resolutions were
adopted setting forth that, as physicians
OF the highest eminence declare tobacco
to be injurious to health and longevity ):
as smokers smoke to satisfy the same
artificial craving which induces drinkers
to drink; as careful statistical inyestiga-
ton shows that the smoking teetotaler
is five times as liable to break his vow
as the non-smoking teetotaler as smok-
ing is an unmanly leaning on a solace to
care and labor, neither sought nor need
ed by women, enabling the smoker to
be idle without growing weary of idle
ness, tending to take the ambition out Of
him, and to make, him happy when he
should be miserable, and content when
his divinest duty is discomfort as it is
almost impossible to smoke in an in
habited country without causing discom-
fort or nausea to others and as, finally,
the passion for tobacco has been tie
cause for many serious fires and disas-
trous explosions, parents, teachers, and
all others who have influence with
British boys should warn them against
this barbarous habit both by precept
and example.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
TiresOme SUNDAYS.

In order to appreciate fully the beauty
of our Sundays one should live abroad
two or three years. My dislike to for
eign Sundays has reached a perfect
pitch Of bitterness, a foreign correspond
ent writes: Owing to an accident, I
have not been able to go to church the
last two or three weeks, and SO I have
had the full benefit Of a Sunday in a for
eiyn land. Let me give my experience
for the benefit Of such as think that our
Sunday may be improved. AS / lie here
I hear the piano in room close by
played vigorously. The same runs, the
same shakes, the same crashing chords,
are being repeated over and over again
that I have had to listen to every day
during the past week. I can also hear
the piano across the road being prac-
ticed on in the same way that have heard
it practiced on every day during the past
week. In the long passage outside my
door I can hear the servant securing
away as hard at drudging work as she
was yesterday. I can hear the house
wife with her jingling keys opening
store-cupboards, and giving out stores in
the same dreary round of duties that
have occupied her all the week. and
when I am carried into the salon this af-
ternoon no doubt I shall find her. as I
did last Sunday, with her kind, tired
face bent over the work basket, putting
strings and buttons and fuckers to little
garments, just as she had put them on
any other day Of the week. Sweet, I'M
selfish, tender-hearted German lady,
what boon our blessed Sabbath day
would be to her. -Ecchanqe.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
More Spanish Than Skunk.

[ have read many articles published
in the Chicago papers from various
writer's trying to prove that Chicago was
named after a skunk, none of which did
l place any confidence in, for could at
one time speak the Indian language as
well or better than I could the English.
I came West in 1882. I now find the
following on page "a of the 'sPictorial
History Of the American Revolution, {"
in regard to fernando De Soto, in 1910.
It appears.that he had just had a great
battle with the Indians, at Mobile, de-
stroying 1900 of them and losing forty
two CT his own men, and that on the
10th OF November, same year, he turned
his face northward, and in five DAYS he
entered the province Of CHICAGO, where
he remained all winter. Had another
fight with the Indians and lost FORTY
men more. -m
Then what does this prove? Improves
that as early rs 1910 there was a prov
ince five days march north of Mobile
called CHICAGO, and L presume it extend
ed as far north as the northern lakes.
and that the name of our city Chicago
came from it.
The word CHICAGO is evidently Span
lsh, and when spelled with the English
pronunciation, combined with the In
dian, we have Chicago. De Soto was
evidently. as brave and gallant gentle
man as ever trod American soil. He
was always dreaming of finding gold in
the western wilds of America, and also
the elixir of life, the Ell Dorado OF per-
petual youth. Gold was long since dis
covered in California, and now, perhaps,
this new late great mineral discovery in
Texas is De Soto's elixir of life. It does
appear that Chicago is more Spanish
than skunk. CHICAGO Z31tea. Ocean.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
That Terrible Child.

A Galveston lady made late after
noon call and had consented to stay to
tea. The biscuits were little heavy,
and the guest, instead Of eating them.
showed them s]yly into her pocket, but,
when urged to try one more by the lady
of the house, the guest answered:
They are really delicious, but I
can't take any more as I ate late din
ner. I never relished anything as much
in my life.' y
That's so, ma says little Johnny,
"she likes 'em so much she put
EN- in her pocket to take 'em home
and eat EN-
On another occasion there was a gen
tleman at supper. The biscuits were
really good, and the gentleman ate very
heartily. When urged to take one more,
he replied:
No, T thank you, I've eaten three al
ready"
.sThat's lie" says Johnny, you
ate five I counted EN- p Galveston
NeaUs.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Did Garfield Name Them?

Mr.. Watterson was in Congress with
Gen. Garfield in 1877, hence the follow
ing anecdote in the Louisville Courier
Journal has special point and value.
During one of the sittings Of joint
session Of the Senate and House in 1877,
when members were huddled together,
hlggledy-piggledy, three or four at q
desk, Gen. Garfield undertook to relieve
the monotony while the Clerk was read
ing tedious document, and to amuse
those who happened to be wedged with
IN narrow compass, with a speculative
Cabinet for Mr.. Hayes. He took bit
OF paper and pencil and divided the
country into geographical districts. He
then inserted in each its appropriate
member Of the Cabinet. Thus:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25

An the present time the German en-
pire is represented abroad by eleven Con-
sui Generals, thirty-six Consuls, and
three Vice Consuls, while in addition to
these Germany has GA so-called
Merchant Consuls or Vice Consuls, and
eighty four Consular Agents. Tho
greater number Of these Consuls are in
European countries, there being seven
ty-three in the United Kingdom alone
forty-seven in England, eighteen in
Scotland. and eightin Ireland. In the
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25

BIZ too much courtesy men may be-
come discourteous, and by excess Of
civility uncivl. a gentleman Of infinite
complaisance was about to take leave of
another of like disposition. The latter
insisted on seeing him to the door Of his
house. The former refused, and after
many gracious words locked the door on
his host and ran down the staircase.
But the host, opening his window, light
II leaped into the street and was ready
to hand his guest into his carriage.
I" You might have broken your neck, =
said the entertained. s.True.'' replied
the entertainer, sbut better so than
break the canons Of polteness. .
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Wanted a Night-Key.

A Boston man besought his wife, fhe
being but three years married, for the
privilege OF night-key. Night-key!"
she exclaimed, in tones of amazement,
what use can you have for night-key
when the Woman's Emancipation
League meets Monday night, the La
dies Domestic Mission Tuesday, the
Sisters of Jerico Wednesday, the Wom-
ans Science Circle Thursday, the
Daughters Of Nineveh Friday, and the
NNoman's Progressive Art Association
and the Suffrage Band on alternate Sat-
urday nights. You stay at home and
see that the baby doesn't fall out Of the
cradle. he stays. Burlington Hawk-
Eye,
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25

Ex-Governor ROBERT W. FURNAs, Of
Brownsville. Horticultural Editor of The
Nebraska Farmer, says his twenty five
years. experience and observation in that
State is strongly against fall planting Of
trees-has witnessed twenty failures to
one success. If attempted, however, it
will be worth while to observe the follow
ing precautions. "Plant early, and cover
the roots deeper with soil or much than
intended to remain during growing sea-
son. In putting on this additional COW
ering, be careful not to heap up against
the body of the tree. If soil is placed
against the. body of the tree, freezing
to any extent, inJures the bark. If
mulch, it affords a hiding place for mice.
His future planting and he expects to
keep at it so long as life lasts will all
be done in the spring.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
YOUTHFUL OFFENDERS.
How Shall They BE Punished with
ont Making Them Worse!

From the New York World
Much attention is now being given in
England to the treatment of bows and
girls guilty of ofenses against the law.
Lord Derby and Lord Houghton have
spoken on the subject. Lord Derby be
lleves that in no case should boys under
Il years Of age be sent to prison, that
extended powers should be given to
magistrates to sentence boys to moder-
ate corporal punishment, and that dis
t1nct and separate places Of detention
should be provided for young offenders,
SO that they shall not escape punish
ment altogether merely because it is UNI
desirable to send them to jail. The
st. lanes Gazette, in some seemingly
un!ustltiable structures upon Lord Der
by's address, the purpose Of which was
particularly to cau attention to the bad
results OF combining young boys with old
and hardened criminals, whose influence
more than Offset the reformatory effects
OF imprisonment, asks 'swhat real diff
ference is there between "a place Of de-
tentlon and a prison. Who would think
that it made the smallest difference as
to boys character and prospects in
Wy oiAoA oA1o PI1SOu LII WHICH ue
was confined was or was not called a
reformatory ?" Asa matter Of fact it
would make very great difference in a
boys prospects in life whether it should
be said Of him that he was "a jail-bird y
or had merely been in reformatory or
house of refuge. This as a matter of
repute. As a matter of positive infu-
ences, a boy who should have been con-
fined in company with adult offenders
would be very likely to have his crimi-
nal propensities fostered and trained in
way disastrous to himself and danger
GUS to the community. The reformation
OF old criminals is a thing hardly to be
looked for tainly not in one instance
out Of 100; but the case is different with
children generally, the Unborn villainy
Of young tigers like Jesse Pomeroy. or
the girl of 13 years who was recently
tried at Lincoln before Lord Chief
Baron Pollock for deliberately poison
ing baby whom she nursed, being
wholly exceptional. In the long run
the true rule will doubtless be found to
be leniency and intelligent attempts at
reformation in dealing with children,
and rigorous confinement for the good
OF society in the case of hardened adult
Offenders
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
THANKSGIVING. .

Summer has passed, but her Indian sister.
Has caught cold Autumn and kindly kissed
her;
And g golden mist drops over the land,
And by balmy breeze in the red woods famed,
"Thanksging, Thanksgiving ]" the church bells
say;
Ringing cut over ricks of hay;
Barns OVERLOOKING with golden store,
Corn and barley and wheat galore,
And the browning pride of each ruddy bump
kin,
The mammoth, yellow. Thanksgiving pump
In the garden path but yestc, day,
Turkey Gobler forgot he was clay.
I'm king of the fowl I" the fellow boosted;
"Men,ento mort to-day he is roasted,
And old Squire TOmpkins who fed him best,
Will ask with a grin, for more of his breast.
"Sic transit gloria na,,adi" Will we
Be missed from our places longer than he?
But this is no season to moralize,
Ones duty to-day is to laugh and eat pies
For this is the day when the children come
Once again to their childhood's home
Jolly Jack, the family tar,
Colonel Dick, who fought in the war,
Rose and her husband and baby boy,
Governess Bell-ah, the little toy
OF solitaire ring on her dainty finger,
Forebodes more work for the old Len ringer.
There is not one missing from his place
When the old man utters his simple grace.
Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving! IT'S well to
hold
One day apart for this custom old
One day to stand with uncover head,
And thank our Father for daily bread.
IT'S best for one day to bring together,
Out Of life's sunshine or stormy weather,
Sailor and soldier and happy wife,
Girl in the golden love summer of life,
Home to the dear old parent nest,
Whence they have fitted east and west
Home to the fathers heartfelt blessing,
And the mothers true caressing.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
United States there are seventeen con-
sulates, the Consuls at New York, Chi
cago, Cincinnati, San Francisco, and st.
Louis belonging to the regular service.
Epitaphs,

Here lies John Adams, who received a thurp.
Right on the forehead, from the parish pump
Here lays John, with Mary his bride
They lived and they laughed while they was able,
And at last was obliged to knock under the table,
Here lies, wrapped in clay,
al The body Of William Wray;
have no more to say.
Sarcastic epitaphs, not necessarily IN
volving pun on the name, are, we sus-
pect, seldom to be found really engraved
on tombstones; and only in some cases
written by relations of the deceased.
# Dryden really wrote the epitaph on
his wife, attributed to him, and which
he intended for her tombstone had he
outlived her, he must indeed have felt
and owed her but little affection !:
Here lies my wife; here let her lie;
She's now at rest, and SO am I.
One Mrs. Shute gave occasion, we are
told, for the following
Here lies, cut down like unripe fruit,
The wife OF Deacon Amos Shute:
She died OF drinking too much Coffee
Amy Dominy eighteen forty.
James Wyatt, Of course, took no part
in the concoction Of this effusion
At rest beneath this church-yard stone
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt
He died one morning just at ten,
Andsaved dinner by it. >,
The occupation Of dyer has suggest
ed many epitaphs of an obvious char
acter, such as
He dyed to live, and lived to die.
Also:
He died himself, and dyed no more
So many jokes have been fred off at
the late Sir William Curtis-an Alder
man distinguished for defective educa-
ton and bad grammar we need
not feel surprised at an epitaph couched
thus:
Here lies William Curtis,
Our late Lord Mayor,
Who has left this here world
An dgone to that there
A useful hint is wrapped up in the
following: -...--.
Died Of thin shoes, January, 1889.
Chambers Jou77a0I.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Gave the Wrong Sign.

BE was trying to push himself through
the crowd at a fire, when he was halted
by policeman.
= am a member Of the interior press. .
How do know you are member
Of the press Where are your creden-
tials %
8 Credentials !? Well, just smell my
breath if you don't believe me" and he
breathed in the face Of the minion Of the
law, who replied
6 You cant come that on me. You
are only a candidate. !" Gnzveston News.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25

IF you want to be sure you're right,
young man, work yourself into tower
ing passion, and nobody can convince
you that you ever made mistake or said
a wrong thing in ;cur life. But then
you'll have to keep in q rage all the time
to avoid knowing what q fool you are
Haaok-Eye.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25

a CALF in Holt county, Mo-, got en-
tangled in apple Of rails, and renamed in
that condition for q period Of fory-one
days, without food or water. &c came
out al right.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
Secretary OF
the Interior,
CARL
ScHURZ.

Five Of the seven were in Hayes Cab
met. Did Garfield name them ?-Chi-
cag0 Tribune.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25

Here lies John Adams, who received thump
Right on the forehead, from the parish pump
Here lays John, with Mary his bride
They lived and they laughed while they was able.
And at last was obliged to knock under the table,
Here lies, wrapped in CLAW
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1880-02-25
Excited his Curiosity.
a RETURNED DEADWooDEE TELLS OF HIS
STIRRING LITTLE EXPERIENCE.

Deadwood,' said the stranger, putin ,
u0"h MS Haii'eaten slice Of lemon Die and
taking long pull at the milk. want
,HGfe when the first rush was lHade for the
NILS. Rather rough crowd tie first lot
you bet; more wholesome now. Wb.a I
got there was dead Lr0ko-diin't have. -
revolver, which Il man II often ny...I emf
there worse il a meals vittles. was
PROB ly the only man in the hills who oi,Iu't
carry iirearm, an | was some lonesome. I
zen you. The only weapon | hod-Tm =
niacksmIth-was rasp. heavy file. Won
Know hout eighteen inches long, which
carried down my back, the handle in easy
reach Just below my coat collar Under.
stand! Like the Arkansaw imam carries his
o0"le knife. I'm not aXactly temuerate
man. Just don't drink an don't NEEDLE
VITA airy other mans drinliin that's All
Ohe day hednt been in Dcadwood
more Il week. was sittin' in = sIoou-
Ohly place man kin set to see any society
when teller come in, a reg lar hustler.
win his can tu!l and quart over. He'd a
revolver on each side OF his belt an looked
Vicious N0thn' mean about him, thouoh.
Askt me to drink. Not any, thank You
SEE |. Not drink with me, Me! BHI
Feathergill! When | ask a tenderfoot ia
drink | expect him to praAce right up an
no monkeyin' You he ar rae =
Well, when his hand went down for his
revolver, whipped out my old flo quicken
lire nd scorch feather an swiped INN ore
right 0crost the face. When he fell |
thought Id killed him, an the k'Ioon film
up with hummers sortcr skinned out. not
KNOWN what might happen. Purity soon
chap IN red shirt came up to me. Sez
he, You the man as ke-arved Bill Feather.
gill? Cos, ct so be as you are, of YOU don't
want evry man in the hills to climb Won
don you try to hiGc yourssif-thc bows is
askin' fur you now
" 1T struck me that my friend had the
Iaee, so J waltzed back and went w and
down before that s loor for nigh three hours
Ia found out Bill wasn't dead an was bad
medicine, bat it would do 10 let down.
Purity soon ! see my man a.headn' for me-
HIS face had been patched up till it locked
like the closing out display Of a retail dry
goods store. There was 50 little counto
nance exposed that couldn't guess what
he was a-aimin at, so brought nv hand
back OF my collar an grabbed my file
49, Held on there, there; hold on. sc1 he.
gimme y'r hand, I'm friendly, I've cot
nothin' asin you, not a thing, but-vau'u
pardon my curiosity-what sort Of = ID
wcepoA was that, stranger?'"
Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1880-02-25

As Spring draws near, Russia, as usual,
manifests disposition to renew the inter.
miHabie war in Central Asia. 1t is a pecu-
liarity of this war that Russia always is
drawn into fighting by tho iAsolent and
unprovoked attacks of savage tribes, or
else by the piteous appeals for aid on the
part OF some particular tribe oppressed by
powerful and indicative neighbor. Thus,
1t will be remembered, the Khivans assailsd
the gentle Russians and forced the Gar, in
sslf'defsRse, to conquer and annex the
Khanate; thus, later, Bokhara the Holy
assalled Khiva-and then the Car, in the
interest of his new subjects, was forced to
conquer and annex Bokhara: Very much
this same game seems now to be going ca
in connection with the province of Kuldia,
the formal recession of which to China was
provided for in the treaty recently conclu.
ded.