River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-03-18
ScintjIlatIOus.


"Before the war"-Courtship.
The road to matrlmony is bride
path.
The belle of the kitchen-the dinner
bell.
Parlor notwithstanding in the
drawingroom.
Ought woman to kiss a tobacco
chewer? Yes, if she chews.
A Utah wedding paragraph says 'the
bride was logged out in white gauze."
1t is said the Vassar college girl who
caught cold by drinking water from
q damp tumbler is convalscent.
1t seems to be universal practice
that when Bridget comes in to sweep
the whole family will get up and dust.
There are to be decorative corsets;
but. in the language of the Buffalo
Courier, who cares what's on the out
side of corset?
The decline of the drama is probably
owing to the fact that the public never
sees but about one tenth Of play; the
rest is bonnet.
When a girl is twenty she feels very
easy on that score. It's only when she
scores another that she begins to Won
der who invented wrinkles.
Every man who has become presi-
dent of the United States has been
elected during leap year. This is
something for the girls to wonder over.
1t is said that the fashionable spring
bonnet will contain a hole on the top
for the wearer who has an itching scalp
to stick her finger through and scratch
it.
Diana locks are the names of new
bangs introduced into fashionable Cir
cles They are called after the arrowy
goddess because they culver whenever
beau comes round.
Kate Field proposes to organize CO.
operative millinary establishment in
n. Y. with a capital OF $500 Ten
of the forthcoming new spring bonnets
will represent the entire capital.
A young man in St. Louis winked at
woman in a street car. The girl,
worth a half million, to whom he
was engaged, saw the wink and severed
the silver cord right away. Don't wink
when there js anything to lose.
Some of the high-toned would-5e-
fashionable people of Fifth avenue, New
York, are giving receptions at which
only French is spoken. Something
more remarkable would be a swell
party at which only good English was
spoken.
At dinner she had a doctor at either
hs nd, one of whom remarked that they
were..well served since they had quack
between them. eyes," she broke in
her wit is of the sort that comes in
flashes -"and 1 am between two
quacks" Then silence fell.
"Lady: "a pretty sight, isn't it,
doctor? - / don't see any of your little
ones here! l hope you don't disap-
prove of juvenile parties p DR..
Littletoms famous for his diagnosis OF
infantile diseases): 81, my dear mad
am! On the contrary like them!"
"Seth," said Mrs. Spicer, 81 wish you
would go and see to the furnace; that
girl Kate is putting in coal as if she was
firing a locomotive" And when Spicer
remarked that the girl was perhaps a
railway-cinder-kate, Mrs. >. grew
warmer than ever.
When q young lady tripped into a
music store the other day and asked
the bashful clerk in attendance for
1.-TWO Kisses" he iammed on his hat
and rushed out of the back door. The
clerk never having heard of the piece Of
music, thought he was the victim of a
leap-year proposal, and his salary was
not large enough to support two.
A Maryland schoolmaster told re-
fractory girl that unless she wrote a
com posision he would punish her. She
appeared with two big brothers. The
pedagogue laid revolver on the desk,
and called for the screed. 1t took her
about ten minutes to indlte the senti-
ment: "rhere are various kinds of big
brothers. Some would stand up for a
sister under any circumstances, but
there are some lily-livered, slat-sided
mungrels, who are a cross between a
Gibralter jackass and maltese Jew,
who would sit around like a rat-hole,
while red-headed, cross-eyed slab OF
unrespectful poverty wanders around
WITH borrowed pop, and makes their
poor sister paw around fur the matiri-
ais fur q composition.