Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-07-30
DOG STAR SCINTILLANTS.

DOG STAR SCINTILLANTS.
There is one place in the world where
man may find happiness in the die
ionary.
Rosa Bonheur was once apprenticed to
dress-maker, and 50 was Mile. S. b.
But they didn't like that Worthy and
itting occupation.
A Western school-ma'am climbed a
zee to get away from two awful frogs
and a milk snake, and the school board
called it "demoralizing" and discharged
her.
A Laplander will make three good
meals of a tub of oleomargarine, his
wife will take the hoops for crinoline,
and the boys will use the slaves for snow
shoes.
Bernhardt is taking two English
lessons daily. Size seizes on the pronun-
citation of words Immediately and zeal
culates" to speak English fluently in
year.
A man was recently tried for stealing
milk from a neighbor's cow at night.
The Jury, after mature deliberation, re-
turned a verdict of Guilty of milking
a COW in the first degree"
James, did you divide your paper of
chocolate with your brotherP" "Yes,
certainly, mamma; / ate the chocolate
and gave him the motto-heis is SO fond OF
reading you know"
Jokers at Mills, Mimi, got up bogus
telegram, announcing that Smith had
won $4,000 in a lottery. Smith did not
discover the truth until almost the entire
male population had got drunk at his
expense.
A Brooklyn man is so bow-legged that
a dog which tried to run between his
LEGS came out on the same side OF the
man that he started in on, and then
when the man went to kick the animal,
he hit a man on the other side of him.
Two Irishmen were looking out for
good point from which to see a steeple-
chase. mike" exclaimed one. as they
came to the worst-looking ditch. there's
the place for us; there's likely to be
kill here, if anywhere"
Lately gentleman sat down to write
deed, and began with know one wo-
man, by these presents" >" You are
wrong" said a bystander, ''it ought to
be know all men," Very WELL
answered the other, "if one woman
knows it. all men will, of course"
An old Judge of the New York supreme
court meeting a friend in neighboring
; village. exclaimed. "Why, what are
+ Won doing here?" I'm at work trying
( to make an honest living was the reply
s "Then you'll succeed" said the judge,
e "for You'll have no competition.
A care-worn man asked a Boston mer
i chant entering a restaurant recently, t(
s help him to get something to eat. Int
II merchant directed a waiter to give hin
d % cents worth of food, and charge it tC
e his check. He afterwards asked wha
u the hungry man had ordered "FlV
le glasses of lager" was the reply
lie A traveller in the far West met set
tier near a house and asked, Who's
Is house?" "Mogs." "Of what built!
n Clogs" ANY neighborsP" Frogs,
+ "What is the soilP" "Bogs." IN
he climatep" "Fogs." "Your diet!
We "Hogs." "How do you catch themF
" dogs"
~ y A man who had made fortune by IL
- dustry and close economy, in a reta
w. y, business at length retired from trat
" and used to loan money at interest.
~ midsummer a friend said to him, Ho
% nleasant it is to have such long brig
:, ~ days." "Why yes replied he "o'
" " these long days the interest comes
NJ slow"
ps. An exchange edited undoubtedly
,of some crusty old bach, thinks it dout
n full whether the young girls VINO we
400 small black wells turned back from I
mo face and resting on the brow look IN I
Of glass after they have put on this hldeo
GRO 'sadornment," and adds, they look IL
the heads on Egyptian obelisks, as I'd
L, ,al~