The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-11-26
A SLIGHT TNDrsPosITIoN.
MIR. spoopendyke at the Mercy of Pills
and Fruit.
BROOKLYN Eagle.

That's better" groaned Mr. Spoopen-
! dyke, as his wife arranged the cool pillows
under his head; nov I can die Look
| ing out upon the trees and sky" and Mr..
| Spoopendyke assumed resigned express
sion Of visage, and gazed out Of the corner
OF one eye upon bare ailanthus tree and
half dozen telegraph wires.
"Ohl you won't de-" said Mrs, Spoop :
endyke cheerfully; you're only little
sick, and you'll get over it.
That's all you know about it," fnarled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. ITO hear you talk one
would think you only had to be fitted up
with little beds and bad smell to be a
government hospital. I'm down sick I
tell ye, and don't want any fooling about
it."
"Well, WE'LL" cooed Mrs. Spoopend, ke,
don't excite yourself. Keep quiet apd
you'll get well.
Much you'd care" muttered Mr..
Spoopendyke, turning on his side and
resting his cheek on his hand, an attitude
generally assumed by martyred spirits On
the approach of dissolution.
will you take your drops again, dear p
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. It's time for
| them"
MOL won't. They're nasty. Haven.
had anything but drops for week. From
the way you administer drops one would
thlnk you was the trap doop of flaming
machine, Gimme some figs"
But there amt any figs, dear. III go
and get you some, said Mrs Spoopendyke.
That's it," growled her husband.
You only want an excuse to leave me
to die alone. Why haven't ye got some
6es2 You know I'd want figs. Got any
citron2'
No, haven't any citron, but won'i
be more than minute away, and IN get
you any fruit you want"
On! yes. You'd get it, [ have nc
doubt What you want is rail fence
around and gate off the hinges to be a
dod gasted orchard. Fetch me some
straw berries.
why. strawberries are out OF season.
There amt any 10 the market now"
Il supposed you'd say that moaned
| Mr.. SpoopendYke You've always gol
some excuse If | should die, you'd have
an apology ready. Gimme something to
take this taste out OF my mouth"
Nv hat would you like, dear?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
Soap. sdad CAST it. Gimme soap if yer
can think of anything else." demande
Mr.. Spoopeudyko. "Mebbe you amt got
any soap Al least, you wOuln't havo il
| wanted it. Got any cherries?"
l. NO: they are out of season too. Theirs
are some grapes in the closet"
Don't want any measly grapes. II
cant have what | want, | don't want it.
| Where's those drops? Why don't you
give me my medicine? Going 10 let me
die for want of little attention. Want
the life insurance., don't ye? Going to
gimme those drops bsfora the next cleo
| ton?
Mrs. Spoopeudyke ladled out the dose,
half of which went down Mr.. Spoopen-
dykes guilet and halt over the front OF
his night shirt
| tFhat's it. ho howle1 spill EN-
| They're fof external application. Put EN-
anywhere. Pour 'em up the chimney"
and Spoooendyke fred the spoon across
the room.
Have piece off oraug, to take the
aste away?" asked Mrs. Spoopcndyke,
| pleasantly.
No. | WON'T objected her spouse
Gimme piece Of nutkn aba"
i Il don't believe they have muskme lions
in November" sighed Mrs Spoopendyke.
''Of course they don't" responded Mr..
SDoependyke. They don't have any
thing when I'm sick, It's wonder they
have houses. It's a miracle they have
beds, I'm asteunded to think they have
doctors and drug stores. I've got to hurry
up and die, or they won't have any under
takers, or collins, or graves, Gimme a
piece of orange, Spose I'm going to lie
here and chaw on the taste of those drops
for a month";"
You'd like those grapes" suggested
his wife.
mo, I wouldn't. either. What do you
want me to eat 'em for2 Got any interest
in the grape trade? Got any commission
on those grapes? Anybody pay ye to
make me eat EN-? One would thiuk you
only wanted an iron ar Dor and four small
boys elm bing over you to be grape vine.
| Where's my pill?"
y on took your pill. DEAR" replied his
| patient wife.
oh, of counsel A pill is out of season
now, Can't even have a pill when l feel
like it," and Mr.. Spoopendyke groaned
in spirit and looked dismal Now, sit
down and don't move. | want to sleep.
Don't you make bit of noise if yoH want
me to live"
And Mrs Spoopendyke held her breath
and never rustled a feather while her hus-
band lay and glared out of the window for
Ga hour and half.