Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-08-20
Detroit Currency.

WV SS0ys
The good that men do lives after
them until the lawyer can break the
will.
You always hear Of the man who
draws the big prize in lottery, but
you never meet him.
A man who won't take off his hat to
himself once in awhile in summer must
be cold'blooded wretch.
The man who gulps down his lemon.
ade instead Of taking it through straw
will always be ahead of the Sheriff.
No one ever had better excuse for
giving the world y rest than Tennyson
has got. He is worth million dollars.
It is earnestly hoped that no one
will lie about the length of torchlight
PROFESSIONS this year. Give EN- the
benefit Of any doubt.
Florida people are digging mp clam.
shells from q depth of seventy feet.
Ibis fact proves that the clam has an
underground route to China.
Olive Logan calls Paris the wickedest
city on the face OF the earth, She
probably gets her information from the
milliner down on the corner.
It may be true that misfortune braces
Q man up, but an even run Of good
luck helps the spinal column about ss
much a. anything We know of.
The man who will shed tears at the
sight of the American flag would
probably jaw around for halt Q day il
his wife wanted bunting dress.
A court in Syracuse has decided that
. courtship and engagement by tele-
graph is not legal. That neither party
can be held for breach Of promise.
An English doctor says no, human
being will eat lettuce unless he has
some faint trace Of the hog in his ma.
ture. New don't bristle up at this.
The man with the iron jaw il dead.
but the one with the iron arm lives in
Ohio. He went to sleep with his arm
on the rail and threw Q gravel train off
the track.
The next attraction in the circus and
menagerie parade, will probably be
den Of trained New Jersey mosquitoes.
accompanied by their keeper. -
Graphic.
8. A. D Yes, We do favor long On.
gagements, say sixty or seventy years,
and II You are not cured by that time
marry her, and repent ct leisure
Boston Globe.
Six Of the largest manufactures of
ladies' dress goods in the country have
combined to start Q fall fashion that
will demand twenty-eight yards of
cloth for dress.
Albany is also mad because her GEN.
sus doesn't pan out as she expected.
Do the way the rest of MS have done
" estimate" that the census men
skipped one-tenth.
We hear lots about the army worm,
but nothing in regard to the navy
worm, though the latter has eaten MP
three or four navies and is nibbling
away day and night.
lie Rochester Democrat says: There
is gentleman in this city who almoAs
wholly livss on aaAsAwtserx4es II their
season. The rest OF the year he lives
on his mother-in-lAw.
1.-THE population Of your town doesn't
pan out as expected lay the blame on
the census man. It is better to blame
some one than to have 6, 900 population
disappear with the dew.
The New York Commercial Advsrtises
says that the two attractions ct Coney
Island this year are fat women and ont
rageous charge for meals. Wait till
that tidal wave gets in its work.
The other day whom the report was
spread about in Rhode Island that SEN
ator Burnside had decided to clip his
side whiskers, he received over twenty
petitions praying him not to do 90.
1.-THE President of the United States,
says the Boston Courier, felt In proper.
tiOn to his place as big as policeman
in his new uniform, he'd grow round
shouldred trying to dodge the clouds.
There is no need of any eulogies
over the man who discovered gold in
California. He blundered into Il, Just
40 man sometimes discovers that there
is bull in the same pasture with him
self.
There is q girl in Frankfort, KY,
who has invented 3 way TO utilize the
AoOVeMcub VI u WOmhu . CuAa ~ ~ W
make it run sewing machine; and she
will be looked upon as greater than
Edison.
When q female contributor to q
monthly magazine speaks of " the most
delicious. delectable, enhancing and
distracting of all innocent indulgences,
she means kiss Hartford Sunday
Journal.
After an unbroken courtship OF
thirty -five years. two people were mar
ried at Newport, r. l., last week. The
question how and where they shall
spend their evenings must already
afflict that pair.
Many a future delegate. says the
Boston Courier, is now swinging on
the gate barefooted and bareheaded,
his face smeared with molasses. and his
hair in open and undisguised rebellion
to the unit rule.
The Boston Globe says it is a sign OF
good breeding to find fault with every.
thing on the table at your summer
boarding-house. The number of we'll
bred persons now boarding in the
country is enormous.
One of the young men banged at