Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-12-24

Barnum wuz enuff to sink anybody.
lie hedn't any sense nor any sand.
lie didn't know how to raise any mon
ey, and wat he did raise he squandered
on skeems that didn't amount to moth
in, instid NV goin into lnjeany and
buvin up votes, ez the party alluz hez.
Barnum alone wuZ enutT to room me.
"Then there wuZ all Nv them skeems.
1929 wuz q settler, fur EN- ez Good read |
wuz indignant, and the dimocrisy that
coodent read didn't know what it
ment. There wuz thousands NV dol
lars NV chalk wasted in that.
And then the Morey letter. Wat
good wuz it to forge letter jist on the
eve NV eleckshun, when everybody he'd
made up their minds how they wuz
agoin to vote anyhow? Wat good
wuz there in forgin a Morey letter un-
til you had Morey to father it, and
he'd the thing put up so't twood stand:
Wat yoose wuz ther in BEN guilty NV
a forgery, when it only killed us? Wat
good is a musket, the kick NV wich is
more powerful than the discharge ?
These two skeems wuz Barnum's.
81 hev nothin to reproach myself
with" continued the general. l
talked tariff to Pennsylvanians and
free trade to InjeanianS. l sent every
confederit wat cum to me aYay per-
fectly satisfied that he wuz agolp to git
list wat he wanted, and the Massey
choosits dinekrat likewise. | keeried
out Barnum's instructions to the letter
and wuz oil things to all men. | Wuz
for and again internal improvements
FOR and again every question of Amerl-
kin politix. Endorsed to various par
ties every kind of finanshel polisy wich
hez been propoundid-and by the way
the number NV finanshel polisies there
is is astoundin-jist ez he told he,
at wuzn't my fault that Barnum all
lowed these ditTerin people to come to-
gether after they left me and compare
notes. lie should hev he'd better az
engagements made. He should hev let
ein out by different doors, and he'd EN-
cross the ferry by different boats, and
all 60 to different hotels in the city.
These arrangements wuZ his to make,
not mine. To do the tLlkin wuz euuff
for me.
"And then he'd Wade Hampton on
my back. That speech he made in
Virginny wuz a sweet thing to pile on
to feIrel soljer, and then his chal-
lengn Sherman. He killed me when
he inventid the solid south.
"These wuzn't all he'd to kerry but
they wuz enutf. mite hev got thro et
the Lord he'd killed the crops for -four
yeers, but with SIGH prosperity ez the
kentry wuza q hevin, it wuzuv no yoose,
No man kin fite nacher and the stoo-
pidity Nv the dimocrisy. don't want
to be president anyhow"
"Good-bye. | may see 700 agin, but
hope not. forgive 700 yoor blum
, ders-they wuzn't any wuss than Bar
num's--and the committy will pay VOC
, yoor salery. Goodbye"
l Wringing his hand, and hastily Dor
' rowing ten dollors NV him, bid the
( CRATE man farewell forever.
My fucher is mixed, but | shell prob
t ably settle in Moo York. 1t is better
, here. There is wider range Nv pastel
4 for borrerin than in the Corners, ant
; credit is more easily established. Bas
y com hes positively refoozed credit, ant
;. all the money there is in the Corners il
;. in the hands NV the niggers and repub
! licans. Before left went three day
e wunst on less than five drinks day
n and them got by passin myself off OF
4 Louisville drummers ez merchant il
: a neighbour village.
: Here, | am sboor kin git in will
f. John Kelly, for he wants recroot
s mighty bad jist now, and possibly in 1
O year | kin git to be a skool commish
= ner, or suthin NV that sort. Kelly is
Y libral and sez that the Irish shan't he
t. more then ninety per cent NV tn
lie places and if the wust comes to tn
d wust, kin make my name O'Nasby
II and apologize fornot heven the brQgu
ri by sayin that wuz brot from Irelan
ct when | wuz quite young. Their ough
A. to be college in Moo York to teec
e. Americans the Irish brogue that a
O. American may hev some chance for
ye offs.
lie But bein no Irishman kin pick Il
lie suthin that is comfortable, and lbleeN
h. | will stay. Shirt is harder to gethel
lis than in Kentuck, for, while there a.
IN more NV EN-, they are hung out to dl
is on the tops NV the houses, insted L
ne bein ON the lines convenient in tt
NJ back yard. And besides wher | sh
az board there amt so many shirt ez
ed make washin and hangin out possihl
he However, a shirt is luxury that k
of be dispenst with, and don't mind
ut | bQrFpred s. Nv Il inebriatid Ke
ny tuckian after come over from the
ize land, wich will keep me q week Nv
| a SELF There is II millypn Nv peol
re- here, to say nuthin Nv strangers, a
les Of | can't make living out NV EN-,
in will be singler. Here is my field.
of PETROLEUM V. MASSEY,
ne (Undismayed.