The Cheyenne daily leader. [volume] (Cheyenne, Wyo.) 1870-1884, 1880-05-07
lHUM0ROUs.


The Coffin family OF this country are
to have a reunion; which is as much as
to say that we are nearing the resurrec-
ion.-Elmira Free Press.
A French artist gave his last picture
to a porter to carry to n salon. ssBe
careful, be careful" said he, 1.-THE pic
ture Is scarcely dry" s.Oi never mind
exclaimed the porter, my clothes are
old"
Private Dazell writes another letter
to say that he Is a candidate for con-
gress. He adds that II elected he will
never accept n second term. This as
surance is entirely unnecessary.-Bos-
ton Post.
Innocent" asks a weekly story pa
per "How TO shine in European So
eiety." Easy enough. Purchase a box
OF blcking and a brush, and ..shlnen
the same same as you would In Ameri-
can society.-Norristown Herald.
Six medical New York experts
examined n man rs to his sanity
and were evenly Owed. After they had
wrangled about 1t for a week IL wasdis-
covered that they had examined the
wrong person altogether. -Detroit Free
Press.
did you sell him anythingYr asked
the proprietor Of his clerk, as the door
closed ON the %retreating form Of n shop
per. "Well." said the clerk, II wanted
him TO take these boots; and, as you
see, the are h~alf-soled." Proprietor
falls In n faint, gasping for a glass of
water. The clerk brings him two.-
Boston Transcript.
The Port Jervis Gazette says that a
o,w that Wort Il bell having been run
over and killed on n railroad, the owner
brought suit against the railroad CON-
pany for damages. II was proved that
the engineer rang the bell and tried to
brighten the cow of the track, but the
farmers COW also rang her bell and
tried TO brighten the engine of the
track, and so the jury decided In his
favor.
THE difference" said Augustus Nil
whites, sanntering into the library the
other day, ''the difference between the
works OF Capt. Marryat and the works
of Beaumont and Fletcher, is, l pre-
sumo. that the former are by a tar and
the latter by bi-tu-men." Before he
could tackle he was seized by the nape
OF the neck and thrust out Of the build
Ing by an enraged professor, who said
10 hin as he struck the ground, do
you know why you are like Noah's
arkp" "No," said the bewildered
Augustus. "well, it's because you're
pitched without " said the professor as
lie shut the door.
Sir Henry Smith, who was for many
years member for Colchester, when can
wasting In person on one occasion.
asked a big, ~dull.looking Essex farmer
for his vote. The farmer was a fine
specimen Of mingled bucolic independ-
ence and thickheadedness, renowned
for his b~rusqueness, and he said Bluntly,
I'D vote for you, Sir Henry, as usual,
only folks tell me you're such n fool"
Fool, am II" retorted Sir Henry;
''then, my good sir, I'm the very man
TO represent you" Down came the
farmers heavy hand upon Sir Henry's
shoulder, rs he exclaimed with a laugh,
Come, I'm gormed IL that aren't a
good un! You're not such n fool as /
thowt; and you shall have my vote,
here's my hand upon It,"
Friday afternoon a young butcher al
Upper saltwater, Me-, went out and
purchased n small calf, which he at
tempted to lead home, but had not pro-
ceeded FAR, however, before the calf
broke away, and then an exciting race
began. There is an old saying that u
'stern chase is a long one,n and so 1t
proved in this case. II that calf had
been trained for n go-as-you-please race
it could not have made better time than
it did on this occasion. The butcher
chased 1t all the afternoon, and then as
the calf had taken to the woods. he re-
tired from the track to recuperate.
Tho next morning he was out again
bright and early, but although he got
sight of the calf several times, 1t would
easily distance him when they ''spurt-
ed" In this manner the chase was
kept up all that day, and Sunday morn
ing the aid Of u hound was procured,
but the butcher had not gained any ut
last accounts.