The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-07-23
A man may be right and yet be left.
Does il belle have Il striking appearance :
An intolerahIc snlokeI-.k dirty CHIN

y After 8 woman has passed so she is
proud Of her age.
: Eyes are not eyes whcn cissr-snok,.
makes them water
The actual distance Of the sim is about
~ 200, ,0o00 miles ...3
The earliest name given 10 the pi,uo
o was the hammer harpsichord.
: Circuses never want to take Il town by
t storm. They prefer clear skies.
: The ordinary strength ofan elephant il
j calculated as equal TO that OF Hi men.
Inscription for Bob lngersoll's tomb
stone" Robert Burns"
The true woman questton-"Why dit}
you stay out till this unseem!y hour:"
During the year 1879 twenty minor
planets We're discovered, and their humber
is now all.
\ new boy, just from school, sent tos,
Virgi's ~Eneiti, half roam, called out for a
Virgin i'll need, half Roman
In the Methodist Episcopal Church in
this country, there are IL Swedish pastors,
; 800 communicates and 50 churches.
John Burnside, Louisiana sugar king,
owns more than six square miles fplanta-
thtions i'll Ascension and St. james parishes.
~ No ''corned' man has any business in II
crowded horse-car. 1t makes no differ
ence whether the trouble is III his feet or in
his head .-S-
How many can adopt the dying words of
Payson as their own living words: ''ilong
to hand r cup of happiness TO every hu-
man being?'
West Philadelphia has woman who
admits that her baby is not half so pretty
as her neighbors. She has been sent to All
insane asylum.
From the composition ofa young Japan
ese student of English: THE cat is a
small cattle. When he sees u rat, he lumi-
nate his eyes"
It is now claimed that the first time the
expression Eureka" was used was when
Socrates sat down on a tack for which he
| had been LOOKING. ~.@%." .=@
4 Atmospherical knowledge is not thor
oughly distributed in our schools. A boy
being asked. ''What is mist:" vaguely re-
piled "An umbrella.
! 4 little boy, being asked What he sup
posed WAS meant by the expression, Ear
ed sumptuously every day replied that
che had oysters.
Scientists claim that smoking Injuries
The eyesight. But this is not true, The
boy with stub III his mouth can sec Iis
F.; father ten squares away.
Grace-.I'm going to see Clara te-t|s-
Have you any nessage:" tharlotte-"I
wonder how YOU ctn visit that dreadful
girl Give her my love.
Thcodorux, King of 4Abyssinia, WHO kill
ed himself in 1868, when the British took
his city of Magdalen, used TO iSsep several
tame lions as pets i'll his house. .s...
/! Mrs. Hayes to Rutherford-''N Well
there's one subject ior thanktulneSs; you
won't haze 10 receive amy more Indian
deputations after next March.
In France the telegraph companies
charge but one word if you 'srite onehnn-
dretlandeighty, but it is four words if yoR
rny attention to your photography.
i manufacturer of wooden tootllpiUks
advertises 's>nr toothpickS have been in
use over thirty years JehosapIlat? They
must be about ready to throw away. go.
.sAIamnGl, what is that old man working
so hard for?'' s'Why, to earn Il living my
child" stBut he is so old that when he
has earned a living he won't be alive
Young men who never did Il days work
in their lives now affect woolen Shirts,
: bask in the sun to get OIL healthy brown
and wear the general appearance OF steve
! dores.
Among the improvements noticed by II
Western paper is the mention that "Our
, friend Shaw has set out two shade trees i'll
front of the house be cheated his mother
out Of.
Whatever objections, says the Cincinnati
Saturday Night, may be urged to the theo-
" OF capital punishment, it must he ad-
: mitted that when 9 man is hung it is 81 les
son to him.
Of the 1853 miners employed in the
gold mines Of the colony Of Victoria, Aus
trstlia during the last quarter Of the year OF
! 1879, IS, 443 were Europeans, and 9,ll0
were Chinese.
No man, according TO the Washington
CAPITAL, can bea successful drummer un-
less he dresses IN square i1eh plaid suit
talks through his nose with q New 1ork
nasal twang.
If d man can have everything, it takes g
/ good deal to make him happy when, on
the other hand, u man is so poor that he
! can't have anything, it takes very little to
: make him happy.
t Notwithstanding the depressing disclos-
f ures of the divorce courts, marriages are
4 on the increase in Boston. There have
}, been over sixty month since the begin
n ing of the new year. .=
d An advertisement in daily paper says
! ssParties absenting themselves from the
\ city for the summer, Or a trip abroad, can
d have their silver taken from their residen-
d ces during their absence
= Five months teaching is ali that South
: kensington thinks necessary to make :
q cock. If the theory be correct, there il nc
is need Of frctting so mucl, about nnIaught
5e girls who become hotisekeepers.
Eccentric Old Officer Ito new tottman.
\ ----ssNow, then, Patrick, call me Il cab. :
: Pat (yho thinks this is IL dodge to try lis
'e sincerity)--.O Och, no, yer hohor' It's no
= mesilf tl1at'll be calling you n:nleb, at ALL
He was informed that lady had callet
= to gee him in his absence. Z lady h'
mused aloud, "A lady y Upon an aecu
! rate description he suddenly Frightened W
= and added, 30, dot vas no lady; cot va
d my wife,
!. What surprised Noah more than augh
i else was. that he received no application
ID for free passes. And what astonis he'd th'
Il, public after the flood was, that the veteran
ar navigator never tried to get up conpli
ne mentarY benefit for himeR.
k Riches,--.sWftat ii the worst thing aboll
he riches % asked the Sunaay-selool super
le inteldet.t. And the new boy iii tile BIZ,
Is Eclass under the gallery, who only cam
es in last Sunday, stood up and said, aThei
" scarcity, And i'll his confusion the SUI
Inerinteitiert told the school TO rise ant