The Indiana State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis) 1868-1895, 1880-12-08
A SLIGHT INDIspOSrTIoN.
Mr.. spoopendyke ut the Mercy of Pills
and Fruit.
brooklyn Eagle.

brooklyn Eagle.l
That's better" groaned Mr. Spoopen-
dyke as his wife arranged the cool pillows
under his head, "now | can die looking out
upon the trees and sky" and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke assumed a resigned expression of Wis
age and gazed out of the corner of his eye
upon bare ailanthus tree and half-dozen
telegraph wires.
"oh. you won't die" said Miss Spcopen-
dyke cheerfully. "You' re only little sick
and you'll get over it,"
That's all you know about it, snarled
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "To hear you talk one
would think you had to be fitted up with
little beds and a bad smell to be Govern
ment Hospital I'm down sick. | tell We
and don't want any fooling about it,"
well, we'll" cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
don't excite yourself. Keep quiet and
you'll get we'll"
"Much you'd care, 'muttered Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, turning on his side and resting his
cheek on his hand. an attitude generally
assumed by martyred spirits on theapproach
of dissolution.
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. Its time for
them"
NO. l won't They're nasty | haven't
had anything but drops for a week. From
the way you administer drops one would
think you was the trap-door of a hanging
machine. Gimme some figs
But there amt any figs. dear. I'll go
and get you some" said Mrs. Spoopendyke
That's it, growled her husband. You
only want an excuse to leave me TO die
alone. Why haven't We got some figs? You
might know I'd want figs. Got any citronP'
mo. haven't got any citron; but won't
be more than minute away, and I'll get
yon any fIuit you want"
20 yes; you'd get il, / have no doubt
What you want is rail-fence around, and a
gate off the hinges TO be dod-gasted orchard.
Fetch me some strawberries"
"Why, strawberries are out of season.
There amt any in the market now"
II supposed you'd say that" moaned Mr..
SpoOpendyke. You've always got some
excuse. If | should die, you'd have an
apology ready. Gimme something TO take
this taste out of my mouth"
What would you like dear?' asked Mrs.
SpOOpendyke.
Soap, dod CAST it. Gimme soap If YOU
can't think of anything else demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Mebbe you amt got
any soap. AT least you wouldn't have if
wanted it. Got any cherries?'
mo; they are out of season. There are
some grapes in the closet"
Don't want any measly grapes. If can't
have what want, don't want it. Where's
those drops? Why don't YOU give me nv
medicine? Going to let me die for want of
little attention? Want the life insurance,
don't We? Going to gimme those drops be-
fore the next election?'
Mrs Spoopendyke ladled out the dose, half
of which went down Mr.. Spoopendyke's
gullet and half over the front of his night
shirt
That's it," he howled "Spill 'em.
They're for external application. Put em
anywhere. Pour 'em up the chimney" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke fired the spoon across the
room.
Have piece of orange to take the taste
awayT' asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. pleas
antly.
no, won't" objected her spouse; "gim-
me piece of muskmelon."
IL don't believe they have muskmelons in
November" sighed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"0fcourse they don't, responded Mr. Spoo-
pendyke; they don't have anything " hen
I'm sick; it's wonder they have houses;
it's miracle that they have beds; I'm as
tonished to think they have doctors and
drug stores. I've got to hurry up and die,
or they won't have any undertakes, or cof-
fms, or graves Gimme piece of orange.
will We? S'pose I'm going to lie here and
chaw on the taste of those drops for a
month";"
You'd like those grapes" suggested his
wife.
mo l wouldn't. either. What do you
want me to eat em for? Got any interest in
the grape trade? Got any commission on
those grapes? Anybody pay We to make me
eat EN-? One would think you ONLY wanted
an iron arbor and four small boys climbing
~ver you to be grape vine. Where's my
pill?'
You took your pill, DEAR" replied his
patient wife.
"Oh, of counsel A pill is out of season
now. Can't even have a. pill when / feel
like it," and Mr.. Spoopendyke grOaned in
spirit and looked dismal. Now, sit down
and don't move | want TO sleep. Don't
you make a bit of noise, if you want me to
live"
And Mrs. Spoopendyke held her breath
and never rustled feather while her hus-
band lay and glared out of the window for
an hour and half.