Morning journal and courier., 1880-03-13
JUST FOR FUN.

The Boston Courier says that the horseshoe doesn't bring good luck when the horse sp plies it.
 Does your mother know your route? asked that tease of Tom when Charley and hiG
 bride started on their wedding tour.-Bostor Transcript.
 A Dakota girl has married Chinaman He had some difficulty in explaining the state of his heart, but she finally got his cue- Boston Transcript.
 Division of Labor.-Aunt Mary: "Well Tommy, shall T carry your bat and cricket stumps for you ?" Tommy: seNo, aunty, tanks! Me carry bat and jumps. Go tarry me !"-Punch.
 A school teacher in Iowa had the debt of the world all nicely figured up to g cent, when Chicago man went and got trusted seventeen or twenty-seven cents. It was aw- ful mean on the schoolmaster. Free Press.
 A Towanda, Pennsylvania, sign reads thus "John Smith, teacher of cowtillions and oth CT dances-grammar taught in the neatest manner-fresh salt herrin on draft-likewise Goodfreys cordjial-rutes sassage and other garden truck. N. B.-ball on friday nite- prayer meeting chuesday-also salme staging by the quire."
 He stood with his back against the front door of the street car. Every one else had seats, and he had anxiously watched each face for symptoms of getting out for over three miles. It grew wearisome, and he finally shifted his weight from one foot to the other and exclaimed ''For the love of the Lord, have none O yez ony homes to go to p Then they all smiled, and the conductor rendered him the ridgepole of the rear platform. New York Express
 There was an incident of the Dow trial at Belton that most unaccountably escaped the attention of the local press, and yet it is en- tirely too good to be lost to the public. When one of the female witnesses was asked by a prosecuting lawyer of we'll known convivial turn of mind, if she believed in the Bible, she replied emphatically that she did. Do you believe, then, that wives should be obedient to their husbands? p asked the lawyer. She snapped her eyes and responded 'sNot when their husbands come home drunk, like you do." You could have heard paper of pins fall for ten minutes afterward. Galveston News.
 ''Do you believe in ghosts ?" the medium asked MT. Middlerib. The old gentleman looked up over the top of the ledger at the medium, whose bill was about thirteen months overdue. "Well," the old gentleman said se- verely, '1t depends great deal on whose ghosts they are and what they tell me. If it was some peoples ghosts that know of, the merchant went on, losing his grammar in his SoLAcStACoSJ anu bAey "d6 Go tcL Ii1O tAnt they would hand in that little amount next Monday without fail, I wouldn't believe 'em by ninety days; no, not if sn angel endorsed for 'em, Tonl," he added, sharply. 'Mr. Rappemup is waiting for his statement, I guess. ."-Burlington Rawkeye.
 The librarian reported the receipt of more almanacs and copy of Andrew Jackson's message, and added that his depart msnt stood in sad need of A dictionary. He was frequently appealed to to decide how to spell such words as "diphthong' and tea tarrh," and he couldn't be sure he was right without dictionary to refer to. ''De day am comin' when our library will boas' of de biggist kin of dickshunary," said the presi- dent, in answer, ''but it am too soon now. Nobody expects us to spell as good as de white folks, an nobody sees de need of it. We haint worked up to dat pint yit. We am still down among such words as soup bones and 'taters, an de time for soarin' peg higher am way off. Darfore, if any of de members of dis club nm afflicted with the catar or the aiphthong dsy will hev to grin an bar it."- Detroit Free Press.