Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-01-10

2 ice.
Mufnford, wholly unconscious hf
I tho pitfall III front 81 his door IIa3
y just taken his seat at tlie nakHfnuf
: window when 4 stout olk xenilt
{ man came along. carrying a bait
e peck Of cranberries tied l|I in "a
< crown paper, and softly hnmminS
to himself;
af wlAl,,,i vas lssIsit adva.
III az away Is Z Salem
he exclaimed. ~ bis legs spread
{ themselves d1enIs apart. "a lfiel,f.
ened, dqzed look cgepf into hIs eyee.
and 4 moment later he HAD hnwt
the suspender buttons 81 lis n4niaA
{ looms and hOpeieSsiY ruined 5 new
eight-d0llar silk hat. lfyiuE ~ butt
a barrel Of ashes into tho glitter,
while the air ia that viclNll4 WAS
filled with blue profanity Ihh fea
/, cranberries.
Owing to the theru0melef haiss1
one fight Of stairs below nsia. anN
the old gentleman not having eal.
cillm light in his vest pocket Iio
concluded not 70 pick up the 68NH NHiu-
and-0dd scattered cfHnbeiFioA buf
cOntente0 himself ny aha&iQH hia
fist violently in Mupiorl's alfeell0u
and yelling As he lenvefI HHa
i can lick the stulIinR onl Df
hull cart-ioad Of such ssfnariSs s
you"
Mercy, what a funny did gentle
man First he falls down, and
then he Jumps up and hlAni,H mc
for it, remarked MumfoKd 4o hi@
wife, who was sitting Nv the likhl
sewing.
He can't 20 this hour resoIlfyi
what reply his wifenade. ii8 whole
attention being suddenly riVitpd
upon & very tail, thin .W0lnpn Wlh
a long nose and d big busfle| who
was dragging fat, dumpiipR-hnill
little boy along by the hand She
had reached about the same spot
where the old gentleman 4 Nnbmenf
before had been perf0pnaingt when
she stopped suddenly, clnlchm
wildly at vacancy tried 10 kick ler
\ bonnet of, missed Dy a few 0I tHn
shortest kind Of inches, fflfsbedl up
the boy and sat down 0n hfi1 with
a force that threatened to drive hiln
through the earth to China
The prompt use OF the boy pfp-
server saved her bones and hNslle
from destruction. but II hatfhned
that sacrificing youth to the thick
ness q q Jack Of Clubs n q euchre
deck.
Don't you grin at me, you nasty
big babb00n, v0u ~ she screamed.
nodding her head at ninmfnrl,
while she CROPPED around for her
false teeth, that had slipped oul at
her mouth ia the confusion.
s'She must certainly be drml,h
s0lil0quized Mumf0rd, watching her
actions with amazement.
"If 1 was q man I'd slyila You
alive for this, YOU wretch ~ shp
shouted when She got her teeth
back, her bonnet on and her hustle
pFopPed up.
Drunk and alanatic both. what
have got TO do with her slammfnn
herself around on the sidewalk. I1d
like to KNOW he asked l1Inaelf na
he watched her fading away IL lhn
darkness, with her hattonod bpy in
tow.
A few moments later, mI bic was
fiattening his nose against the VIM
dow-pane, pair of lowers CAME
tripping along.
"And, Amy, love- sai1 the Reu-
tleman, ~ can hardly rtallxe that
you are to be my own little darling
( ducksey- suffering aiiigltOfH llr
shrieked, as his legs OPENED IKE
pair OF com passes, and ha struck Nlc
sidewalk with a jar that tlitealomd
s1is back teeth, raised his aMlpan
inch or two, cooled has love. rinpnh
his best pantaloons, started his eyes
full of tears, and made him regret
bitterly that he'd forgot 80 much
of his bOyh00d's pr0fanity.
80, Fredp' exclaimed bis Nnllp,
trying to LIT him up by MS raper
collar, and the next inslan. his
charmer's feet slipped On tlns Zee,
and after 8Avaying to and fI<i tlb-
lently'1or Il moment, she atiefIIard
to turn back someraaifIt Which
her lover did not look Nfloa asa
success, owing probably t0I thc filct
OF her kicking him In the4Ar as She
went over, ui1h more ihe3Sfssl 81
yellow mule0ra dynanIitocaAtfldR
than that of the uardinal- -st tinRcd
idol of his heart
They got up, glancfM sg.s bishly
around to zee II anycfHshnd Ioticod
them, tried ~ coax DIP sieNiy
smile, and limped away trying ~
look as if they didn't waEt "a cub
themselves.
aIIang It ani why d61F you
sprinkle some ashes on that tFeY'
called a grocer, who had skated gh
into the gutter and snakhed TWO
dozen eggs, the beck Of his head.
and a bottle 0fslivr oil in falling
ssOh there's ice th0reg So that
accounts for the gymnastics said
MumfOrd, filing scuttle with bot
Goals and ashes, and hurFyine olii
Some Of the nefghbDM Wha
ohanced To be looking oui If lpflf
front windows about this time. sy
that ii was grind, hwe-inspirlu4
sight to see Mufnford, after reInain
ing for a second on The bnCk 81 his
neck, pointing At the twinkling
stars with his heels, and emptylne
his pockets out on the walk, Hnd
denly collapsed iuf0 q taneled
scorched and bruised heall and lll
the air with aiarieks and more parks
than fireworks explosion would
make.
A policeman helped HIS Wiie aiu
the cook to carry him into lhe house,
and he has informed the doclor vhN
Is attending him. that as soon aahn
can cultivate skin q cover gio
burned places he's gOirg ~ move in
q climate where II don't fceze Ohcn
in q billi0n years Ills wife illi1kal
she has read Ct suclfa place II me
Bible. +4
THE Utica lN. ~ Herald. eaiinl
by Congressman Roberts, n al
able Repnblican journal Here is
whatil says In regard to ihenomina-
ton OF Gen. Grant for IA third terms
'fThe signs are uninislakab that
Gen. Grant can never rocelxeAp0ih.
er Presidential nomination t thn
hands of a Repnblican conteniion
without first encOuntnEfne IN ut-
ganixed and determined Qnno4llion
which would be fatal "a his cord|al
united support by tile nARssc of ihn
partyin 1890. TWOclaHe4 ol Itoci|Ie
are still clam0rnus fOr JmnE Gas
class includes the trndQrl in politics
who hope to see in his rtluif 80 fbo
White House a return uf their day
of harvest, SO rudely Interrupted
The other and larger class inqlude
the army Of moral towards. ||t