Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-04-29
4nmuruas 9epartmemt.
HOW SHE GOT NOAH.

asked how much the fee was, and paid it and
took receipt. Business concluded, she sat
down, filled a short clay pipe with tobacco
and INDUCED in smoke.
"You won't funk out on this?" she said, as
she rose to 60, after exhausting the contents
of her pipe.
"Oh no; I'll be there, sure"
"So'll l, and soil he, or III know the rea-
son why He's been clawing off little late
ly. but I'll make him toe the mark, see if
don't"
II hope nothing unpleasant will occur" ob'
served the court.
81 hope so; too, but I'm going to be pre-
pared for scrinlmsge just the same. You
always back the weaker sex, don't your"
"Y-yes," softly replied the Justice.
$50 do /, and guess we'll be all right.
Don't forget the date"
His Honor went out last night prepared to
perform the ceremony with promptness and
goodwill He found about dozen persons
assembled at the house, and the woman looked
gorgeous under the light of three kerosine
lamps. She had her pipe going, and her face
was covered with bland smile as she shook
hands and said:
"Take cheer. The old man isn't here
vet, but I'll send for him." Then, turning to
a boy in the room, she continued:
Samuel, go and tell the old man it's time
to come in and be spliced."
Samuel departed on his errand, and after
the lapse of ten minutes he returned and re-
sponded:
"The old man is over to Martins. He's
got his boots off and is whiting out wood.
en- cat, and 1 don't believe he cares two cents
about being married to you or anybody else. u
The widow re6lled her pipe, took several
strong whifs, and then said to long legged
farmer, who seemed hungry for the bridal
feast:
"Moses, you 60 over and tell Noah l want
him."
Moses departed He was absent ten min
utes, and then lounged in and said:
"Sa7s he is quite comfortable where he is
Guess he isn't on the marry very much"
Judge" began the woman as she looked
around for her bonnet, "you play game OF
fox-and.geese with Moses while l 60 over and
see about this thing. There's going to be a
marriage here tonight, and I'll bet a new
hoss rake on it !"
She was absent about twenty minutes, and
then returned in company with Noah. He
had neither coat nor hat on, and only one
boot, and both were painting for breath.
"G-go ahead, Judge" she gasped, as she
hauled the groom into the centre of the room
"He heard me coming and got out and run
four times around the orchard, but here he is p
"Do you want to marry this woman p
asked the official as he gave Noah a looking
over.
"YaasI' was the blunt reply.
"Then, why did you runaway?'
"Spose I'm going to give right in the first
thing?" demanded the indignant Noah. "Ill
60 and fix up and come back"
"No, darling-no you won't, my pet ame,
tbyst p chuckled the widow. "We'll be mar.
ried right here and now, boots or no p
She crowded him against the table. Moses
stood behind the pair to render any needed
aid, and the knot was soon tied. As soon as
the ceremony was over Noah skipped out of
the back door, but no one pursued. The wild
ow called the guests to supper and remarked:
''St right down and don't worry about the
groom I've been nine years working him
up to this, but he'll be little bashful for a
lew WSthS W COHic. Lave SOiuC VI IOoot
pig, Mr.. Court '-Detroit Free Press.
saT An English officer exchanged into an
other regiment, bringing with him the repu-
tation of being marvelously successful at a
bet. "Ah" said his new colonel; "he won't
get any success out of me, I'll warrant" !"
and he wrote the fellows former colonel, an
old friend: "We like him very much"
"Glad you do, old boy keep him. We found
him too expensive luxury" was the reply.
One day at mess the colonel good. humoredly
said; II hear that you profess always to win
bet" "Well, sir, I'm pretty successful in
that way" 81 don't think you would sue
ceed with me-" MAY I try?" asked the
subaltern. "By all means" "Well, then,
l bet you that the old wound in your back
has broken out afresh." "What in the world
do you mean! Old wound in my back? Do
you think ever turned my back on the enc
my then p and the gallant colonel grew warm +;
81 never had wound in my life! Jones"
(to cornet) clock the door; III prove it to
your own eyes!" The other protested that the
colonels simple word was more than enough !;
but no the latter was excited, and stripped.
"I'ye lost, sir ~ and Brown handed over the
910 note. A few days later came a note
from the colonel of the other regiment ::
"Brown has again won pot of money out of
our fellows. He bet heavily that before he'd
been with you month he'd make you take
your shirt off in the mess-room after dinner, and
now writes that he succeeded" That colo.
mel "cussed."
AN IRIsHMAN's STRATAGEM.--An Irish
man of Montana was working placer mine
few miles from Bear Gulch and visited that
place one day to get his tools sharpened
Just as he was about to start back some one
told him that if he would 60 home by way of
Sour Krout Gulch he would not miss his
way, and would save several miles of walk.
ing. Pat started out, but after travelling sew
eral miles the sun was almost down, and he
had seen nothing that looked familiar. At
last he made up his mind that he was lost,
and, to use his own words, feared he "would
be robbed and murthersd entirely all alone"
While he was in this state of mind he spied a
cinnamon bear on the side of the mountain
and was almost ready to fall to the ground
with fright Recovering his self possession a
little he said 81 thought it wouldn't do to
let the bear think was afraid Of him, and
concluded I might intimidate him by making
him think that there were several of me- So,
walking a little faster, called out as loud
as iver I could, mike! Oh say, Mike, hould
on till l catch up wild ye and the rest O the
b'ys' When the bear heard that he walked
away and said not word"
sT- Daniel Webster had an anecdote of old
Father Scarf, the minister of his boyhood,