The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-03-04
STARTING A PAPER.
A storr Of rno Of our Cl.r,ra., HumnrI.l

=-A
A Story OF Two Of Our CleVersSt HumOrIsts.
TWAS nearly twenty yearS ago when Dan De
Quille and Marx Twain attempted to start paper
In Mendocino county. They took the type and
material OF their recently defunct newspaper es-
tRbllshmentin San Francisco, and loading the
stuff on q big wagon struck out into the country
to retrieve their fortune. They packed their type
JUST 90 it stood in the FORMS tied up the articles
with stout cords by process well known to prin-
ters and packed them closely in boxes, vowed to
establish newspaper somewhere which would
be the leading exponent Of politics and history Of
the PaeifcCoast Had not an unfortunate clrcum-
stance taken place 1t ia evident that the news
paper which they contemplated founding would
have been alive to day. Their journey over the
mountains was utterly uneventful until they
reached Simpsons Station, a spot well known to
old travellers on that route. Here they met a par
ty OF emigrants making for Lower California and
the latter had with them small mountain how.
itzer which they brought with them across the
plains.
Twain took great fancy to this gun, and offer.
ed $50 for 1t, with two kegs Of powder. The emf.
grants we're glad enough to part with It, as they
concluded the time for It's use had passed. Dan
thought the purchase Of the artillery and military
supplies was a reckless piece of extravaganza,
and said as much, but Mark replied:
when we start our paper we must fire salute.
newspaper Office with artillery has big bulge
on the business No well.regulated Office In Cal
iiOrnia should be without howitzer. II man
comes In for retraction we can blow him into
the next county. The howitzer goes"
This silenced argument and the next day the
two journalists took the road with their printing
outfit and artillery.
The next night they Gsmped In q mountain
ravine fifteen miles from Simpsons, and, after
building the usual camp FIRE, fell asleep. About
eleven o'clock the horses awakened them by
prancing about, and the two Journalists were led
to the conclusion that party Of Indians was max.
ing arrangements for night attack. In the clear
moonlight human forms could be distinguished
about half a mile away at the foot Of the ravine.
The idea Of encountering Indians had never en-.
tered the heads of the two fortune seekers, and
they had no arms. Suddenly Twain frightened
up, remarking:
"The howitzerI'
"We've nothing bat powder" said Dan.
"Well powder'll scare EN- and wen load hei
up"
| lu0 pleCo Whb lulu6ulhtoly AOhuou VIII o BOOu
big charge and the two men felt quite certain tina
the Indians, hearing the roar of the gun, would
beat au unconditional retreat, The piece WA
hardly losled and placed In position when abou
forty Of the redskins came charging up the ra
vine.
Twain seized brand from the campfire an(
was about to lay 1t on the touch.hole, WheH DaI
yelled, hold onI as he rammed something into tht
mouth of the piece and remarked:
Turner loose"
The roar Of the howitEer echoed through tht
lonely forest, and the ssysges, with frantic erie
Of pain, reeled down the raVine In wild confu
sion.
what in hell did you put In 2" asked Mark.
"a column Of solid nonpSTeil and a couple o
sticks Of your spring poetry"
"The poetry did the business, Dan. Get one O
your geological articles ready for the next charge
and I guess it'll let the red devils out for tn
present campaign"
The savages again advanced, Mark sttende,
to the powder and Dan assorted the shot, 80 b
speak.
"Jeems Pipes song-My Mountain Home"
Good for three Indians-sock'er In"
IAN scrOstic, by John B. Ridge, in long prim
er."
"Irll psralyze them,"
Frank PixIey on the Constitution half col
umn of loaded BREWER
"Ifit hits 'em, the day is Won"
"Your leader on Law and Order"
"save 1t as last resort"
Dan pulled the type out Of the boxes, and STUFF
| ed column after column In the howitzer's moUt
as the savages came charging on. Another roun
| Nd fadEJiOu rn1lad
other like boulders swept away by mountai
cloud.burst Mark, in an ecstasy of delight, pull
ed an American nag out of his effects nailed 1t
the tail board Of the wagon, and was about
? make a speech, when the dusky hgues Of the fot
were once more seen moving to the attack.
The piece was again loaded, and this time wit
double charge. Marks leader on "Law and o
der" the puff Of an auction house, by Fred Nj
Crellish, as "a sickner," Dan said; Frank Gross
verses on 1.-THE Rebel Yell'; an agricultural art
l Gle by Sam seabaugh, showing the chemical pr
pertes of corn juice az an educational lever;
maiden poetical effort by Oliver Harper and SON
verses by Colonel Cremony and Frank Soule con
pleted the load.
"That poetry reaching 'em first will throw 'e
inCo confusion, and my editorial coming on Il
heels Of the rest will result In a last dem0raliz
ton II will be like the last cavalry charge OF Il
: French troopers at the battle Of AusterlitS."
For the third and last time the faithful hoWitE
!, belohed the typographical compliments to the q
vanciug foe. The havoc was terrible There vi
wild yell from a score of savage threats, or
then the low groans OF the dying hoated up Il
rsvine on the gentle wind. The two men walk
over the field of slaughter and counted fifty-s
sboriginals lying In heaps. The bodies were he
= ribly mutilated with nonpareIl, bourgeois, cap
misery dashes and unassorted pi.
my leader cooked that mans. goose" "a
8 Mark, pointing to a savage hanging over the lin
Q Of q cedar.
my geological article did the business for hin
n rejoined Dan, nodding carelessly at an India
a whose head was lying twenty yards away.
1.-THE pen is mighuer than the sword"
"You bet. Hurrah for Faust and Gutenberg
: !. us there any type leftf
mot pound"
Ten days later the two journalistic tram
q reached Virginia City, weary, discouraged a
8 footsore and secured places on the Enterprise.
Is few days ago Dan received the following frC
his former partner:
iS HARTFORD, Conn.,, January l. 1880
10 DEAR DAN II send you the congratulations
the New Year. Do you remember the time
l. exterminated the tribe of unlettered ~ savages
II Mendocino county, Ifyou can spare the tim
wish you would make pilgrimage to that hist
II 10 spot, gather the ghostly relics together, q
= plant tablet (not too expensive, and at your oV
expense) to the memory Of the departed. Hav
shooting. stick lying across a long bow, with q
at monogram and oat.of.arms entwined, and Sol
10 | onnronrIata eDitanh carved on the atone An {
tract from Carl schurtz's views on the 'PeG