The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1880-07-28
The Loan of a Gridiron.


most a proverbial fame. When Lo- /
yeF was presented TO Malibran, the /
fascinating prima donna held out
her hand and exclaimed, in the /
prettiest broken Englishimaginable,
in the words of Paddy Mullowny,
"Will Won lend me the loan of
gridiron?" Old as the story is, it
illustrated so happily Lovers inimi-
table treatment of the confusion OF
ideas which constitutes the essence
of so much Irish absurdity, that we
venture to reprint the conclusion OF
it, Landing with shipwrecked
crew on the coast of France, Paddy
Mullowny, who boasts that he can
speak French because he knows one
phrase. confidently approaches a
house and asks for the loan Of
gridiron:
"Well. sir, with that throth, they
stared at me worse nor ever-and,
faith, | began to think that maybe
the captain was wrong and that 1t
was not France at all at all and so
says |, i beg pardon, sir, says |, TO
one ould man, with head of hair
as white as silYef-'maybe | am
undher a mistake, says |, but !
thought | was in France, sir aren't
you furriners? says I-'Parly roo
troagsay?"
1--WE, munseer,"' says he.
"'Then would you lind me the
loan of gridiron, says |, If you
plase?'
~Oh, it was thin that they stared
al me as if / had seven heads; and,
faith. myself began to feel flusthered
like, and enaisy-and so, says |,
maxim bow and scrape again, i
know it's liberty | take, sir says
|, but it's only in the regard Of be
in cast away; and if YOU plase, sir,
saws |, Party zoo froRgsdy?
1--WE, munseer, says he, mighty
sharp.
Then would YOU lind me the
loan of gridiron says |, and you'll
obleege me.
/ "Well, sir, the old chap began to
munseeR me, but the divil bit of a
gridiron he'd gi' me, and so began
to think they were ali naygars, for
all their fine manners; and thf0th
my blood begun to rise, and, says !,
BY my sowl, if it was you was in
disthriss,n says l, and if it was to
ould Ireland YOU KEN, it's not only
the gridiron they'd give you, if you
axed it, but something to put in it,
and the dhrop o dhrink INTO the
bargain, and cead male tailte.
well, the word cead mile fdilte'
/ seemed to sthreck his heart, and the
ould chap cooked his ear, and so |
thought i'd give him another offer,
and make him sinsibie at last; and
so says l, wanst more, quite slow,
that he might mderstand-Partg-
roo-frongsay?'
"We munseer,' saws he.
Thin lind me the loan of grid
iron, gays |, and bad seram toyou.
"Well, bad win TO the bit of ii
he'd q me. and that ould chap be-
gins bowin' and scrapin,' and said
something or other about a long
tongs.
"'Phoo the diyil sweep your
self and your tongs,' says |, i don't
want tongs, at all at all but can't
you listen to raison p says L Party
coo troagsay?'
We, munseer.
Thin lind me the loan of a grid
ireh.' says ], and how'd your pirate.
"Weii, what would you think,
but he shook his ovid noddle as
much as to say he wouldn't, and SO,
says /, Bad cess to the likes q that
| ever seen--throth if YOU wor IN
my country its not that away
they'd use you; the curse o. the
crows on you, YOU ovid sinner, says
/. 'rhs aivil longer I'll darken
your door
so he seen ] was veXed, and |
Z tllpu-ib stS 4 NdS tulliN NV y. L
seen him begin to relint, and that
his conscience throubled him: and.
says /, turnin' back, We'll, III give
you one chance more-you ovid
.hief-are you a Christian at all at
all7 ase yqq a furriner?' SAYS /,
that all the wslia calls so p'lite p
Bad luck to you, do yes understand
your own language ?-Pdriy roo
trongsay?' says |.
1--WE munseer, says he.
Thin thunder and turf saws |.
will you lind me the loan of a grid
iron?'
@Well the divil resave the bit of it
he'd III me-and SO with that,
curse Q tbs hspgry on you, you old
Daygarly villain says {; the back
o me hand and the sowi q p.e fit to
you, that you may want a gfidiTcn
yourself yit, saws !, 'and wherever
] go, high or low, rieh and poor shall /
hear o. you, says | and with that | /
left them there, sir, and ken away-
and in throth it's often that ] have
thought that it was remarkable"