Morning journal and courier., 1880-06-11
Price Four Cents.
wanted-A nrfnfster,

AAe IonoW1ng mes, Dy Mrs. J. B. Cleave nd, were published in the JOURNAL AM ouRrER many years ago. They are as ap ropriate now as they were then, and ma, ossibly be read with interest by members o lurches in this vicinity: We have been without pastor
 Some eighteen months or more And though candidates are pIenty- We've had at least score. of them "tip-top" preachers
 Or so their letters ran We're just as far ever
 From settling on the man. The first who came among us
 By no means was the worst, But then we didn't think of him. Because he was the first It being quite the custom
 To sacrifice few. Before the Church in earnest
 Determines what to do. There was 8 smart young fellow
 With serious, earnest way. Who, but for one great blunder
 Had surely won the day: Who left So good impression,
 On Monday one or two Went round among the people
 To see if he would do. The pious, godly portion
 Had not 8 fault to find His clear and searching preaching They thought the very kind And all went smooth and pleasant Until they heard the views Of some influential sinners
 Who rent the highest pews On these his pungent dealing
 Made but sorry hit The coat Of GespeI teaehfne
 Was quite too tight fit. Of course his fate was settled Attend ye parsons all And preach to please the sinners II you would get a call Next cayoa n vo,,po 5a,5r.
 He wore his hair too long Another's coat was shabby,
 And his voice not over strong And one New Haven student
 Was worse than all of those We couldn't heed the sermon
 For thinking of his nose Then wearying of candidates. We looked the country through, Mid doctors and professors,
 To find one that would do |; And after much discussion
 On who should bear the ark With tolerable agreement
 We fixed on Dr. Parke. Here, then, we thought it settled, But were an1Szed to find Our nattering invitation Respectfully declined. We turned to Dr. Hopkins
 To help us in the Iurch Who strangely thought that college Had claims above our church. Next we dispatched committees. By twos and threes, to urge The labors for Sabbath
 Of the Rev. Shallow Splurge He came-a marked sensation
 So wonderful his style Followed the creaking of his boots AS he passed up the aisle. His tones were so affecting
 His gestures so divine lady tainted in the hymn
 Before the second line; And on that day he gave us. In accents clear and loud, The greatest prayer ever addressed TO an enlightened crowd He preached double sermon And gave us angels food On such 8 lovely topic
 "The joys of solitude" All full of sweet descriptions Of flowers and pearly streams, Of warbhng birds, and moonlit groves And golden sunset beams. Of faith and true repentance He nothing had to say; He rounded all the corners, He smoothed the rugged way; Managed with great adroitness To entertain and please, And leave the sinners conscience Completely at it's ease. Six hundred is the salary We gave in former days :- We thought it very liberal, And found it hard to raise; But when we took the paper, We had no need to urge, To raise cool two thousand For the Rev. Shallow Splurge. In vain were all the efforts We had no chance at all We found ten city churches Had given him call; And he, in prayerful waiting, Was keeping them in tow But where they paid the highest It was whispered he would go. And now, good Christian brothers We ask your earnest prayers e~ That God would send 8 shepherd To guide our church affairs, With this clear understanding man to meet our views Must preach to please the sinners And fill the vacant pews.