Osage Valley banner. (Tuscumbia, Miller County, Mo.) 1879-1881, 1880-09-16
Dlscipllning the Cat.

GRANDMA SLoCuM was busy over her
sewing in the warm, quiet air of the
sitting-room, and grandpa was striving
to convince himself that be was reading
the weekly paper, despite a vague inn
preston that he was falling asleep,
when both were brought to their feet
by sudden crash in the pantry "It's
that cat!' said grandpa Butgrandma,
who seldom yentured to express an
opinion before looking into the ques-
tion, said nothing and fastened to the
scene of the disaster. AS she opened
the door of the pantry the unfortunate
cat darted out, and grandpa, armed
with the broom, started in pursuit
around the spacious kitchen. The cat,
however, was too nimble for his rather
clumsy movements, and he was obliged
to desist without having accomplished
anything more than thoroughly fright
ening the animal.
"rll teach the critterp he exclaimed.
Forever on shelves and tables! Only
yesterday she chawed up the chicken
you had laid away, and last week skim
med half dozen pans Of milkl What's
she done nowP" and pushing open the
pantry door, he beheld his wife gazing
sorrowfully down at the fragments of
several plates, among which lay an old
China teapot, which had belonged to
grandpa's mother, and was held In
great reverence by the family.
For a moment grandpa stood speech
less with Indignation. He was so lavish
with his tongue upon ordinary occur
rences he could find nothing to say
which could fully express his mind on
this occasion. When he did speak, i.
was only to say, very quietly:
81 wouldn't have taken money for
that teapot"
Then he turned away, leaving grand
ma to gather up the fragments, and
went out to the woodpile to vent his
feelings in quick, heavy blows, contin-
uing the exercise until night.
Meanwhile grandma had examined
the teapot and thought it could be
mended. To be sure, the nose and the
handle were broken of, but if they were
ingeniously puttied on again, it would
still be serviceable. So. very careful
ly she cemented the broken pieces to-
gether placed the whole behind the
new stove that the joints might harden,
and returned 10 her sewing, where at
length, overcome by the warmth and
quiet, she fell asleep.
At dusk grandpa came into the kitch-
en- to see If supper was about ready.
Grandma was not in the room. His eye
caught the glimmer of white behind the
stove. "Nice kitty" he said, coax
ingly. =" Pretty kitty Did she want
20 be pettedP Well, she should. just
let me get within three feet on ye, and
Wen see whether there'll be any more
crockery smashedl Yes; poor kittyl
Warn't satisfied with eatin' off chiny
plate. Had to see what was on the
shelves, heyP Let me get two steps
nearer, and I'll never ask another favor
of yel Ni-i-ce kitty! Take that, you
varmintl"
The heavy foot struck the object with
terrific force. There was a iingling
crash, grandma screamed. and the III
fated teapot scurried across the kitchen
in fifty pieces.
Grandpa was probably never so COM
pletely surprised in his life. But in
moment the righteousness Of his per-
formance overcame him, d an he dropped
into a chair, laughing heartily.
He made no further effort to discipline
the cat Youths Companion.
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CATAMApAN built nj Rocbaeter