Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1880-05-19
THE UNREASONABLE ANT.
Not Much wisdom TO be Found
When You 60 10 Him.
Mark Twain's "Tramp Abroad. "l

1t seems TO be that IN the matter OF
intellect the ant must be a strangely
overrated bird. During many sum-
mers now | have watched him, when
| ought to have been in better bust
ness, and | have not yet come acros a
living ant that seemed to have any
more sense than a dead one. | refer
to the ordinary ant, of course;
| have had no experience OF
those wonderful Swiss aud African
ones which vote, keep drilled armies,
hold slaves, and dispute about re-
ligion. These particular ants may be
all that the naturalists paint them,
but | am persuaded hat the average
ant is a sham. | admit his industry,
of course; he is the hardest working
creature in the world-when anybody
is looking-but his eather-headedness
is the point | make against him. He
goes out foraging, he makes a capture,
and then what does he do? Go home?
No, he goes anywhere but home. He
doesn't know where home is. His
home may be only three feet away; no
matter, he can'tfnd it.
He makes his capture. as | have
said it is generally something that
can be of no sor. OF use to himself or
anybody else it is usuallyseven times
bigger than it ought to be; he hunts
out the awkwardest place to take hold
of; he lifts it bodily up in the air by
main force, and startS-not toward
home, but in the opposite direction ;
not calmly and wisely, but with a
frantic haste which is wasteful to his
strength he fetches up against a
pebble, and, instead of going around
it, he climbs over it backwards, drag
ging his bootyatter him, tumbles down
the other side, jumps up in a passion,
kicks the dust off his clothes, moistens
his hands, grabs his property
v~iciously, yanks it this way, then that,
shoves it ahead of him a moment,
turns tail and Tugs it after him a mo
ment, gets madden and madden, then
presently hoists it in the air and goe-
tearing away in an entirely new direcs
ton; comes to a weed; it never occurs
to him to go around it. No; he must
climb it, and he does climb it. drag.
ging his worthless property to the top
which is as bright a thing to do as
it would be for me to carry a sack OF
-four from Heidelberg to Paris by way
Of Stratsburg steeple; when he gets
up there he finds that that is not the
place; takes a cursOry glance at the
scenery, and either climbs down
again or tumbles down, and starts of
once mOre-as usual, in a new direc-
ton.
AT the end of a half an hour he
fetches up within six inches of the
place he started from, and lays lis
burden down. Meantime he has been
over all the ground for two yards
around, and climed all the
weeds and pebbles he came
across. Now he wipes the sweat
from his brow, strokes his limbs, and
then marches aimlessly off, in as VIC
lent a hurry as ever. He traverses a
good deal of zig-zag country, and by
and-by stumbles on his same booty
again. He does not remember to have
ever seen it before; he looks around
to see which is not the way home,
grabs his bundle aud starts. He goes
through the same adventures he had
before, finally stops to rest, and q
friend comes along. Evidently the
friend remarks that a last years
grasshopper leg is a very noble acqui-
%sition, and inquiries where he got it
Evidently the proprietor does not re.
member exactly where he did get it.
but thinks he got it around here
somewhere" Evidently the friend
contracts to help him freight it home.
Then, with a judgment peculiarly
antic (pun not i%ntentional), they take
hold of opposite ends of that grass
hopper leg and begin to tug with all
their might in opposite directions
Presently they take a rest and
confer together. They decide
that something is wrong, they
can't make out what. Then they gC
at it again, just as before. Same re-
suit. Mutual recriminations follow.
Evidently each accuses the other Of
being an obstructionist. They warm
up, and the dispute ends in a fight
They lock themselves together and
chew each Others jaws for awhile; then
they roll and tumble on the ground
till one loses a horn or a leg and has
to haul off for repairs. They make uI
and 60 to work again in the same old
insane way; but the crippled ant is at
a Disadvantage; tug as he may, thG
other one drags off the booty
and him at the end of it. In
stead of giving up, ho hang
on and gets his shins bruised against
every obstruction that cones in the
way. By-and-by, when that grass.
hopper leg has been dragged all ovei
the same old ground once more. it i:
finally dumped at about the same spot
where it originally lay. The two
perspiring ants inspect it thoughtfully
and decide that dried grasshoppel
legs are a poor sort Of property aftel
all, and then each starts off in a direc.
ton to see if he can't find an old mai
or something else hat is heavy enough
to afford entertainment, and at thu
same time yalueless enough TO max,
an ant want to own il.
mwurA