The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-02-25
EVERY-DAY SPICERIEs.
HALF fare-a muIatto.

hALE Iaf6-a mulAGbOs
THE amount of money a man leaves
is the kind of funeral pile his relatiVN
take the most interest in.
An Irish farrier once sent q bill to
gentleman with the following item.
To curing your honor's horse that
died, 6s."
ART must anchor In haturs, ''ssid
fashionable belle when she slipped and
sat down in a mud hole and stuck there.
A-SteubeaUiJIe Herald.
The Rev York Express throws up its
hat and shouts "Ouray for the Indians"
Come, young man, you ought to be lit
rle Meeker.--Rockland Courier.
"qo1Nat' "This," said an auctioneer,
holding up 81 well known Vo1umej is q
book by poor and pious girl of poor
and piOus poems"
"DIGBY, will you take some of th&s
butterP' "Thank You, ma'am; / be-
long to the temperance soCiety--can't
take anything strong" replied Digby.
GRANT made the greatest effort of his
life at Pittsburg. He said: al am
pretty good on tie smoke myself, but
Pittsburg beats me.'- Wheeling Leader.
A COUNTRY paper makes the follow.
ing correction: For 'It's a poor mule
that won't work both ways in yesteE.
days issue, please read, It's a poor
rule etes"
IT is very difficult to find fault witR
a dear little three-year-Old who buriea
his head under the clothes and sings:
"NOw 1 lay me down to sleep Pop
goes the weasel"
THE light Of experience has shown,
iTis no more fatal alas!
For a man to carelessly blow in the gun,
Than tits to blow out the gas.
THE betrayed dollar is one that fnd
itself not able 70 pass for more than
ninety cents after it has been stamped
"In God we Trust. ."-NeaU Orleans
Picagtlne,
ANOTHER American girl is to marry
g nobleman. Why is it that our girls
refuse to support their own countrymeni
There is a lack of patriotism some
where.-Atlaata Constitution.
"THIs S a hard, cruelty hard world"
writes a cynic. Yes, it is, it is; and of
an icy morning one never knows how
soon he'll lose his footing and come
down on it.
PRESS me close" said Kata last eva
"'Tis bliss 10 suffocate"-
Quoth George: My pet, you'd JUS Llesr4
With thee III suffer, Kate"
"GET out of this" shouted an irri-
tated merchant to mendacious clerk,
" this is the third lie have caught you
in since ten o'clock this morning" "Oh,
well, said the new man, don't be hard
on me. Give fellow time to learn tie
rules of the house"
A GREAT many boys and girls fall
desperately In love with each other,
and rave over disappointed hopes, be-
fore they are old enough to tell the
difference between the heartache and
the collie. Very few such cases prove
fatal.-SteubeaviL5e Heratd.
A DANBURY man sent boy with
bill for seven dollars, to be collected.
The. boy got the money snd came back.
The man gave him ten cents saying,
"Here's for your trouble" The boy
took the coin and asked, "Ain't you
going to give me something for my
hOnesty."-Danbatry NeaOs.
HERE is s. little domestic-economy
comedy from England: Clergyman
" So hear you've got married again,
JACOB g.. jacobs es, sur tnOugnt
as how winter was coming on, and
Betty, she'd got one blanket, and got
t'other, we might as well make it a pair
and be more comfortable like"
PROSPERITY, as the world goes, is like
a bar of hot iron. A great many grab
the thing, and seme people finds 1t too
heavy to hold without splitting on their
hands.-OsnOego Record. We prefer to
souse the iron as a sure means to secure
the prosperity-O of our fngers-ETr attic
Enrique. Be sure to select pig iron if
you wish to make the souse a success.