Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-06-13
SUNBEAMS.

The stamp act-Applause in theatre.
Sportsmen never object to banging hare.
Unless you call telephone "Hello," it
won't answer.
The proper dress material for farmers
wiyes-gros grain.
Members of the ballet CON never; enjoy o
full-dress rehearsal.
School-boys who get " whaled" do q Il,
great deal of numbering.
A bang that makes no notes.-the one on
the girls forehead DGnjels0n0ille Sentinel.
ga new broom sweeps clean" but new
backing brush is N. G.-Meriden Re
c0rdeT.
This world without woman-Iovely Wo-
MANS like a blank sheet of paper-not
even ruled.
A Colorado journalist is accused of wear
ing diamonds. Evidently careless fellow,
who drops his paste on his shirt front.
The difference between a railroad ticket
and an egg is that the ticket is good until
rehabilitation Indepe'sde1t.
A thing of booty-a plump chicken In
the hen-house of an INSCRIPTIONS darky's
neighbour du Lac Reporter.
eli, ted" shrieked the boy, as he
watched the contortions of couple of cats
which he had thrown over a clothes-Gne-
Salem Sunbeam.
Chicago has boy of fourteen who doesn't
want to swear or chew tobacco. He thinks
it is more fun to put kerosene on dogs tails
and set them afre.
One man asked another why his hair was
SO white, and his beard SO brown, BE
cause, he replied, lone is twenty years
younger than the other"
Wars come so thick in Europe that the SOL
diers don't have chance to sit down for r
rest and hence, the necessity for keeping
standing armies. -Meri0e1a Recorder
The salary or the Gar is $17.4O min
ute. 1t seems good pay when one does not
remember that his principal occupation is
that of being shot at by some of his beloved
subjects.
What is home without skeleton P Y07l-
kers Gazette. To bring this matter to a
close, what is home without anything or any
body dorchester Express. 1t is house to
rent.-ROme Sentinel.
In the report of 9 swell wedding" it was
written . Her dainty feet were encased
in shoes that might have been taken for
fairy boots, but the compositor made it
read, "shoes that might have been taken for
ferry boats"
"Soled again, as the cobbler remarked,
when he finished tapping pair of shoes
remarked, when he few down the street
with kettle attached to his tail-SGLen1
Sunbeam.
Like good cloth, true manhood shrinks at
nothing,
A stirring dwarf we do allowance give be-
fore sleepy giant.
Now let's see what church the boys be-
long to: There's the Camden Post man,
he's Methodist. Next !-McGregor Meas.
Now you're shouting. We suspect the
Neaos man of being Presbyterian.
lem Sunbeam.
" Why am made sandwich" said
young Snobson, plaintively, as lady sat
down on either side of him in the horse car.
Because we are better bred than you are"
said one of the damsels sweetly, and Snob-
son mustered courage to squeeze out ON the
platform.
An Albany chap is counting deaf and
dumb beauty, and he says he enjoys evening
recreations with his dumb BELLE Whitehall
Times. She is, however, deaf to all his at
tentiohs. Constitution But not
dumb to his caresses, you bet.-Ne'Tdea
Recorder.
NO. parson, probably never sit courage
to jine de church. When a poor darky's
spiritual wiser takes him down in be riber,
and says, / now oapsize thee, and den
ducks him under, it's time dat darby looks
after hissef. You don't play none of dem
games on me- old man. Samaritan Punch.
A Towanda, Pa, sign reads thus: ''John
Smith, teacher of cowtilions and other
dances grammar taut in the neatest man
ner-fresh salt herrin on draft-ikewise
Godfrey's cordjial-rutes sassage and other
garden truck N. B.-bawl on friday mite
prayer meeting chuesday-also SALINE sing
ing by the quire."
my boys" said kind Oil City teacher,
I" if you would be President OF the United
States you must be good and studious"
:" Who wants to be President" yelled out
young chap from a back seat. ''Pd ruther
be Buffer Bill and shoot an Injun" And
the boys all chorused, Them's our senti-
ments. oil City Derrick.
The church was warm, the minister was
dull, and everybody fell asleep except a
half-witted man. my brethren" shouted
the indignant pastor you should take the
example of that fool there; he keeps awake"
" Ay, ay, minister" said Jamie " but if
hadna been a fool, would have been asleep
like the Others"
A romantic youth, promenading in one,
of the fashionable streets, picked up a Thin
BILE. He stood awhile meditating upon the
probable beauty of the owner, when he
pressed it to his lips, saying, "Oh, that it
were the fair cheek of the wearer :" Just
as he had finished, stout, elderly negress
looked out of an upper window, and said:
. Massa, jist please to bring dat fmble of
mine in the entry. jist dropped it,"
There is story told of blunt old sea