The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-11-05
An Unqualified Retractlon.

My mother, sir" said Dan.
An Unqualified Retraction.
ST want to see the boss liar who runs
| this ibelous sheet" roared muscular
looking young man of the base ball spe-
cies, walking into the Office of the Post
last Monday morning.
s'The Managing Editor is OUT said
the Office boy, hastily getting behind the
counter.
"Blast the editorI' growled the stran-
ger, rapping on the counter with the big
end of his four-foot club. II want to
see the head pirate-the proprietor. The
fellow that your paper says wants to be
held responsible for those internal lies
about the Carnival people in last Satur-
days Post.
Through the open door of the inner
Office came subdued rustling sound, as
though a terrier was chasing q rat into q
hole, followed by silence that might
| have been cut with knife.
He is out, toe" replied the boy.
''Gol dern the luckI'' said the muscu-
| lar party, much annoyed, 'sI came in a
purpose to batter him up with this
club
He will be sorry to have missed you,"
said the Office boy, soothingly. ''Isnt
your paper left regularly ?"
paper be eyerlastingly blanked to
blanknation," thundered the visitor.
''My sister is the Queen of Shebar'
''The Queen of what-ba ?"
''Of SAeba, idiot; don't you under
stand ?"
"Once more for the beer?" said the
Office boy, leaning forward.
"Why, the Queen of Sheba-up at the
Carnival. I mean. She was brought
home from the matinee day before yes
terday in hack and fits This is what
did it." and the aggrieved brother
hauled out marked copy of our superior
family journal (only fifteen cents week
by carrier), and pointed to the following
paragraph:
We would rather find thousand
dollar bill, lost by poor widow wash
erwoman, than say anything unkindly
personal in this article, but, all the
same, we mean to overhaul sacred his
tory the first chance we get and ascer-
tain whether there is definite scriptural
authority for supposing that the Queen
of Sheba had access to unlimited guam
titles of Limburger cheese. Unless we
find that fact fully substantiated we
shall be reluctantly forced to conclude
the counterfeit presentment of that
potenate up at Mission and Eighth to
be an atmospheric fraud and miasmic
mockery.
"Must be some mistake" softly sug-
gested the Office boy.
Mistake be blowed, said the queens
brother, brandishing his club to the ex-
treme discomfort of the cashier. "It's
an Internal, miserable lie. My sister
never eats cheese. and, besides, she
chews cardamon seeds and things.
Never ate Limburger in her Life"
81 do said the Office boy, consol-
ingly.
80 I see.' said the outraged party,
pushing the boys nose around with the
end of his club. ''The minute I read
that cowardly slander, Lust went out to
that wood pile and picked out the knot
tiest stick could find, and I whitfield
it down at this end for a square grip.
When will the old vampire be in-Tu
wait for him?"
A couple of gentle taps came from
within.
''He'll be gone two MONTHS" said the
boy. The knocks were repeated more
vigorously.
youth, hastily "Hes away off up on a
ranch Notwithstanding new stable
one for mules. Ten to one he never
gets back to ALL
s'Just my Internal hard luck" NUT
tered the athlete. ''Is there nobody here
who would like to step out and represent
him for few minutes?"
But there was nobody who could spare
the time.
Gall right said the representative of
the Scriptural ruler. s'I will now go and
have lot of baseball spikes screwed in
to this club, and if there isn't an uncon-
ditional retraction in next Saturdays
paper will drop in again. Uncondi-
tional, mind p and after sayagely kick
shouldered his redwood and walked off.
As he disappeared in the mazes of
Montgomery the proprietor emerged
from beneath table, and, clasping the
intelligent Office boy to his breast, raised
his salary two dollars year.-lS. +.
Post.