Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-06-03
odd Trines.

H -
The motto Of the hen is to eggshsll.
The pupil Of the eye has to be lashed
An express agents discarded cor
set.
There's many . grip on the midnight
nip.
Bowled robbery-ehsatiAg at ten
pins.
Courtney should have sawed Han
lan's boat.
Where to 30 when abort Of money
Go to work.
The man who hesitates Il often lost
for words.
Charitableness and a base-ballshould
be boundless.
The hackers Of Courtney had their
wallets sawed.
Workers in the dark-The foot pad
and the liver pad.
General Sigel is going to live and
fight NIT st. Paul.
Motto for the milkman-To tho pure
all things are pure.
Whittaker's ears put Schofield COM
pletely in the shade.
Some music shonld be labelled:
"Handel with care"
Two heads are better than one, but
not on the same. pin.
Did you ever see pretty girl with
neat waist basque it.
It is difficult to draw the line between
spring lamb and mutton.
Smoking pipe only cures toothache
for ladies and clergymen.
Moonlight excursions seldom have
anything to do with the moon.
Kossuth is remembered by his hat.
Garibaldi is made i'm mortal by q red
shirt.
The true woman question-"Why
did you stay out till this unseemly
hour?"
"He flies higher than he can roost,"
is the latest addition to the vocabulary
of slang.
This is year when there seems to be
an overriding desire to get rid of the
first choice.
A great many men who start out to
reform the WORLD leave themselves off
for the last job.
1.-THE Darwinian theory holds good |
In astronomy the finest comet is that
which has no tail.
Stories which come from manu-
scripts found in bottles at sea are natu-
rally very crooked.
DR.. Mary Walker stands up when |
she strikes match for her cigarette |
just like the rest of US.
Polo should be the great college
game. All students are more or less |
familiar with the pony.
David Davis commenced life as a |
brakeman. 1t was before the days of
na.row-guage railroads.
There is no need to tell summer
clearinghouse keepers that they must |
make hay while the sun shines.
If the Blaine men don't stop figuring |
they will soon have more delegates |
than there are In the Convention.
The i'll luck of having thirteen per-
sons sit down to table comes when |
there h only dinner enough for eleven.
The archery season has had q very
slim opening. Not more than half q |
dozen eyes have yet been reported lost.
Take away my first letter, take away
my second letter, take away all my let
tiers, and am still the same-The post |
man.
Jones says he used to have red |
cheeks, but had bad cold some years |
ago, when he blew all the color into |
his nose.
An Independent politician is one
who wants no Off ,e, and that is the |
reason why independents are as scarce !
as angels visits.
When some one says the dark horse |
will he nominated all the candidates |
look into their mirrors to SEQ whether
they are very pale.
A tandem team is all for show, and
it generally shows three animals in q
row-two horses on the road and one
donkey in the cart.
A Maine man has q way Of selling
cocoanuts filed with cognac instead Of
milk and the way they do 60 Oft is
puzzle to the doctors.
The man who advertises, "Umbrel-l
las recovered" is probably fraud. A
good umbrella once strayed, never
comes back any more.
The Mule puzzle-Draw a circle fif-
teen feet In diameter. place mule in
the centre and walk around him with. |
out getting out of the circle.
1.-THE book to read" says Or. Nc
Gosh, ssis not the one which thinks for
you, but the one which makes you
think" A bank book, for instance.
There wont be anything worth living
for In Connecticut this summer. All
of her most noted murderers have
stopped lecturing until next summer.
The amount of dirt found at the bot
tom of q crock of milk sometimes sug.
gests the probability that the dairy
man has been milking the mud COW.
His name is not observation-disclosures
horned-cow"-thati Is, II the King oil