The Phoenix herald. (Phoenix, Maricopa County, A.T. [Ariz.]) 1879-1882, 1880-10-22
Nicodclnus Dodge.

his hands from the OrDihS OF MS
trousers pockets, or tai>i,g eff his
faded ruin of SLOUGH ha., whose
broken brim hung limp and
ragged about his ears like Il hug-eat-
er cabbage leaf, started indifcreuilY
around, then leaning his heap against
the editors table, crossed his mighty
brogans, aimed at distant lily from
crevice in his upper tooth.laid him
low, and said with composure:
"Wha's the b )ss?
81 am the boss" said the editor,
following this curious hit of archi-
lecture wonderfully along up to It's
clock face with his eye.
Don't want anybody fnr 10 learn
the business, faint lihely?'
"Weil, don't know. Would you
l he 20 learn itg"
"Pap's so 20 he can't run me no
mo-, 50 want to get show sOmers
if l Can, faint no difference what
I'm strong and hearty, and | don't
turn my back on no kind Of work,
hard nur soft"
DO you think yon would like to
learn the printing businessy"
"W ell, l don't rely k'yer durn
L
fur to make my way. I'd list as soon
learn print'n's anything"
"Can You read 2"
"Y es-middlin'.
Writer
"Well, I've seed people who could
lay over me thar"
"Cipher?'
Not good enough 20 keep store, 1
don't reckon, bat as fur as twelve
times twelve L amt no SLOUGH.
'Tcthcr side of that IS what gifts me-"
"Whcrc is your hame!"
I'm from old Shelby"
whats your fathers religious de-
?"
"lIim! Oh, he's a blacksmith"
No, mo- don't mean his trade.
WHAT'S his religious denomination? :"
OH didn't understand you befo'
He's Precursor"
NO, no--you don't get my mean
inh yet. What I mean Is, does he
belong 10 any church?'
Now you're taikin'. Couldn't
make out what your was trying to
git through yo' head no way. B'long
to church, Why, boss, he's been
the pizcuest kind Of Il Freewill Bap-
lis for forty years. They amt no
pizener ones'n he IS. Mighty good
man, pap is Everybody says That.
If they said any di1erunt they
wouldn't it where | WuZ-uot much
hey wouldn't.
What Is your own religion ?'
"Well, boss, you've kind O got me
.aar-and yet you hain't got me so
mighty much nuther. | think t if |
| feiler he'ps another when he's in
rubb!e, and don't cuSs, and don't do |
my mean things, nor nuth'n' he amt |
10 buiiness to do, and don't spell the |
SaviOur's name with Il little Q, he |
init Tunnin' no res's-he's about as
aft as if he b'Ionged to church."
But suppose he did spell it with
title g-what then?"
well. if lie done IL a-purpose l
eckon he wouldn't stand no Chance;
Ie Oughtn't to have no chance, any
way, I'm most rotten certain bout
hat"
What is your namc?"
"Nicodemus Dodge"
81 think maybe you'll do, Nicode-
aus Wen give you trial any
iay"
"All right"
When would you Ike to begin"
"Now."
$50, within ten minutes after he
ad first gliupSed this nondescript,
G was one of Us, and with ms coat
# and hard at it.
Beyond that end of our establish
lent which was fuTtherest from the
rect was deserted garden, painless,
nd thic&ly grown with the gloomy {
nd viliianous "iimpson" weed and
5 common friend the stately sum {
Q wer. In The midst of this mourn
II spot WAS a decayed and little ;
frame! house with bat one room,
nc window and no ceiIIng-it had
zen Il sm0ke-house, a generation be-
re. NIcodeinus waS given This
nelly and ghOstiy den as a bed
l2mber-
The village smarties recognized Il
easure in NIcodemus right away
butt 10 play jokes on. 1t was easy '
see that he was incoDccivably {
cen and cOnfding. George Jones I
ID the glory Of perpetrating the t
st joke on him. He gave him a
gar with ii firecracker in il, and c
mixed to the crowd 20 come; the c
ing exploited presently and swept i
way the bulk of Nieodcmus' eye Il
ows and exclusives He simply Il
id: c
II consider them kind Of seeg'yars f,
1gersOme." and seemed to suspect L
thing. i
The next evening Nicodcmus way Il
d George and poured a bucket of u
s-water over him. u
One day, while N1codemus was in II
inning, Tom McElroy tied" his II
,theg. Nichodemus made q bon .
c of Toms by way Of retaliation. q
A third joke was played upon Nj I
dcmus day or two later-he
liked up the middle aisle of the
iaEe church, Sunday night, with
rtling hand bill pinned upon his q
)ulders- The joker spent the rest Il
the night, after church, in the Gel Ell
Of Il deserted house, and Nicode-
Is sat on the cellar door till toward OF
sakfast time, TO make sure that the
soner rcmembe that if any II
Use was made some rough treat 81
at would be the consequence.
e cellar had two feet Of stagnant
ter in it, and was bottomed with tn
inches of soft mud n,
SUIT L wander from the point. 1t 81
s the subject of skeletons that "a
'ught this boy back TO my recol- hi
ton. Before long time had W
psed the village smarties began IN
feel an uncomfortable conscious %
s of not having made a very shin ",
success of their attempts on the an
ipleton of "Old Shelby" Expert ed
nts grew scarce and chary Now .cd
young doctor came to the rescue ",
ere was delight and applause Of
en- he proposed to them the plan kr
frightening Nicodemus to death, RI
explained how he was going to 81,
it. He mad Il noble new skeleton 40
he skeleton of the late and only liz
Al celebrity, Jimmy Finn, the vii th
e drunkard-a Grisly piece of pro- of
ty he had bought of Jimmy bv
n himself, at auction for fifty M
lars, under great competition, III
lox i1l~ hn