The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1880-08-07
Husband Spoopendyke.
brooklyn Eagle


"Now, my DEAR" said Mr. Spoopendyke,
past 10, and we mustn't he late at church.
Most ready?"
''Yes, DEAR beamed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
''I'm all ready. Got everything
81 think so. Hymn book, umbrella and
where's the prayer-book? 1 haven't got the
prayer-book."
"Where did you leave it?" asked Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, turning over the volumes on the
table hurriedly.
''If l knew where left it, I'd strut to that
spot and get it, retorted Mr.. Spoopendyke.
81 left it with you. Where did you put it?
Can't you remember what you do with
things?"
81 haven't seen it since last Sunday" re-
turned Mrs. Spoopendyke, family. 81 know"
she continued; perhaps it is at church."
"Perhaps it is, mimicked Mr.. Spoopendyke;
perhaps it got up early, took bath and went
ahead of us. Did you ever sec prayerbook
prowl off to church all alone? Ever see
prayerbook hist up its skirts and strike out for
the sanctuary without an escort? S'pose a
prayerbook knows the difference between a
church and ham sandwich? Where did you
put it?"
81 mean, you may have left it in the pew
rack. You know you did once" suggested
Mrs. Spoopendyke var
Il didn't do anything of the sort. brought
it home and gave it to you. Where do you
keep it? What did you do with it? S'pose
I'm going to swash around through that SER
vice without knowing whether they are doing
the apostles creed or an act of Congress?
Spring around and find it, can't you? What
are you looking. there for? Don't you know
the difference between prayerbook and the
Wandering jew? Find it, can't you?'
Never mind it, dear" futtered Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke; 81 know all the responses, and I'll
help you along"
ooh, yes, you know 'em all. What you
don't know about religion wouldn't wad a gun
All you want is bell and board fence to be
theological seminary. Think you can find
that prayerbook between now and the equinoc-
tial?'' howled Mr.. Spoopenpyke. SCOT any
idea whether you sold the measly thing for
china vases or stirred it into the wheat cakes?
Have been chawing divine grace all the
morning? Where's that prayerbook? Going
to get it before the Revelations come to pass?"
and Mr. Spoopendyke plunged around the
room,. tumbling books about and breathing
heavily.
81 don't see the use of making such fuss
over thing you don't really need" sobbed
Mrs Spoopendyke through her indignant
tears.
.Oh, you DON'T" raved Mr. spoopendyke
You don't see any use in putting things
where they belong, do you? How dye s'pose
I'm going to keep up with religion without
prayerbook? How dye s'pose I'm going to
know when it's my turn to show what Chris
tianity has done for me unless you can find
that dod gasted book between now and the
resurrection?" and Mr.. Spoopendyke spun
around on his knee like a top, ard knocked
over Parian jar.
"Wait minute, my DEAR said Mrs Spoo-
pendyke, looking at him earnestly. Then she
went behind him and fished out the prayer
book.
"Got it, didn't you," he growled. "Had it
all the time, 1 s'pose. Where was it, any
way?"
'In your coat tail pocket, DEAR" and Mrs.
Spoopendyke jabbed the powder puff in her
eyes, and stalked down stairs leaving her liege
m follou