The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-12-29
vARl. ETIEs.

~ is sdlU LudG ;o+o L.: ~ .
harder if a pin is stucA NV ~. nm nm 'lia
he will if the cat won't e' MN r"
her tail.
"a young man while attemp, 'ng
fix misplaced switch" on " 'un
lady's head in ball room, stepp,
on her dress and wrecked the
| train" tst sllttl5.
A woman, who was determined
not to be cheated, made clerk
measurea spool OF cotton the other
day to see if she was getting the 200
yards which belonged to her.
"Ah," said conceited young par
son, 81 have this afternoon been
preaching to congregation of asses. !"
''Then that was the reason you called
them beloved BRETHREN" replied a
strong minded lady.
A negro can roll cotton and sugar
better than white man but when
it comes to telling how many fish
you caught or how many ducks you
bagged the negro is a whole genera
| ton behind the white man.
A clerk in one of our Canal street
STORES who is somewhat smarter than
his employer, was heard to remark
the. other day: "Thank fortune, the
boss has stopped advertising for the
season. Now we will have rest. "
"My dear, what shall we name our
babe? ?" said Mr.. Smith, the other
day. "Why, huz, I've settled on
Peter" 'Peter! l never knew a
man with the simple name of Peter
who could earn his salt p'Es" We'll,
then, call him Salt Peter. -
The worse cut NO man of the hour,
according to a Cleveland paper, is
that Western reporter who, in de-
scribing the appearance of the belle
of the town at local picnic, in
tended to say that she looked az
.fait, but, of course, the typos had to
get it "all feet"
y Troy youth snapped a bean
from window. 1t struck q man on
the nose. He jumped and knocked
down woman, who broke an arm,
and caused horse to run away and
fatally lnjure itself. Had the boy
thrown a grindstone, nobody knows
what might have happened.
Mrs. Maggie Van Colt, the noted
! female evangelist, has ceased to
\ pruacr anuss g5na g making Paveht
medicine She assigns as the reason,
| ia saaiilltasre- ct health L is pity the
failure of her own health didn't give
her greater regard for other peo-
pies than is shown in her choice of a
new vocation.
An innocent looking old man was
going up Washington street, a dray-
man nodded at him and asked ::
swami d dray, mister ?" MOO, l
guess not" replied the old man !;
Pm too fur from home, and can't
pay freight = on it. Much obliged,
though. VickSburg is powerful
nice town. A fellow back there
asked me if l didn't want coat, an
other inquired if ! wanted hack,
and now you offer me dray. l
wish lived here"
The year 1881 will be a mathema-
,ical curiosity. From right to left
and left to right is read the same, IS
divided by 2 Civ YES 9 as quotient !;
81 divided by 8 gives 9: if divided
by 9, the quotept contains a 8; if
multiplied by 9 the product contains
two 9's; l and 5 are 8; and l are
9. II the Is be placed under the 81,
and added, the sum is SO. If the
figures be added thus: l, 8, s, l, it
will give Is. Reading from left to
right it is Is, and reading from right
to left it is 10, and IS is two>ninths
of 81. BY adding, dividing and
multiplying IS 9s are produced, be-
ing one 9 for each year required to
complete the century.
A blushing maiden Of forty sum-
mers entered the town clerks office
in Wheeling, West Virginia, re-
Gently, and asked, in a voice trem-
bling with agitation, for a license.
The clerk took down the name and
address of the visitor "Name and
address Of the other party" asked
the clerk. Faithful, and ne lives
with me-" replied the fair one. The
clerk lqal at her for a moment,
and blIxlAngly completed the filling
Of the document which he handed to
the lady. He was astonished at her
conduct. She gave one glance at
the license, hoarsely whispered