The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-12-17
PARAGRAPHIC POINTS.

As with woman, so with the horse.
His back hair IS his maEe trouble.
The bobtailed horse spends his whole
existence in lamenting his lack of terni-
nal facilities.
The boys of Utah, we learn from the
Salt Lake Tribune, boast of the number
of their mothers.
An exchange has an article on Bread
stuffs. " 1t may lie. Now give Us an
article on "Meat's rue. >
II AM satisfied with my lot, said a
real estate owner, who held q piece OF
city ground worth s., 900 foot.
THESE large sleeve buttons are mis-
take-too large enough for comfort and
not large enough to hide the weareF's
cuffs.
"WHArdo you know about the cuckoo?"
asked schOol-teacher of little Johnny
''Nufin, 'cept he don't lay his eggs him.
self"
ACCORDING to the national debt of the
world this old terrestrial ball is worth
about ninety cents on the dollar by
public auction. -LosUeu Citizen.
PREoEPToR latter a lecture -''Now.
what are the principal things that ale OBJ
tanned from the earth ?" Pupil land dis
ciple of Izaak Walton) -'Worms, sirr'
A FELLOW over in Columbus was asked
to be pointed to dye shop, doubtless
having some summer clothing on hand
and was directed to the hospital Wheel,
ing Leader.
IT Is the dastardly young brother WHO
remarks: "Sister Sails all the fashion
now. She wears a horse-belt round her
waist, and I expect she'll soon have a
saddle and bride"
"MY boy, saida conscientious teacher,
edo you know the reason why am go
ing to whip you?" Eyes" replied the
hopeful; 81 suppose it's because you're
bigger than 1 am.
A MRS. WISELY, of Texas, packed her
valise while her affectionate husband
was snoring and walked off with man
named Well. A clear caseof "She loved
not Wisely, but too Well"
A TELEPHONE operator near HaverhilI,
when asked to say grace ct dinner the
other day, Mortified the party, in fit Of
Observation-Disclosures, by bowling his head
and shouting, "Hello! hello!' Force OF
habit.
"WHAT is the first thing to be done in
ease of fire?" asked Prof Stearns. Sue
the insurance company, promptly an
swered the boy at the foot of the class,
whose father had been burned out once
or twice.
A CQLoRED man came into Galveston
newspaper Office and wanted to take the
paper. "HOw long do you want it?"
asked the clerk. jess as long as it is,
boss. Eff it don't fit de shelves l kin
tar piece off myself"
INTRODUCE me to your intended"
saidhis friend "She is not my intended;
she is my wife D." "Pshawl you were
hugging and kissing her almost In
public" Eyes, but we have been MAJ
ried only month, and I had forgotten
that she was my WIFE"
"SHE-"Are not you going to battle,
this morning?" He-"No, dare not "
She-"Why?" He-"My heart is affect
ed" She-''How dreadful. But is there
no cure?" He (seizing the long-sought
chance) Eyes; say you will be mine,
and I'll go and have battle this very in
slant " She does.-Jud,y.
'HAvE you given electricity trial for
your complaint, madame?" asked the
minister, as he took tea with the old
lady. ELECTRICITY" said she. "Well,
yes, I reckon has. I was struck by
lightning last summer and hove out Of
the window, but it didn't seem to do me
no sort of good"
'LoOK here" said one Galveston gem
tleman to another, ''those De Smiths,
who have moved into my neighborhood,
must be one of the toniest families in
Galveston. " "What makes you think
So?" "Well, about fifty people called
on them one day last week" "That
must have been on the first of the month.
They get everything on credit.
The bakers cart was standing by tho
door, minus the baker. Little cherub
climbed up, and, looking into the boxes,
toasted her eyes on cookies and jumbles
innumerable. 90 Use q good mind to
take cookie. ''But that would be
very wrong" said nurse, reprovingly.
'The baker won't see me" 'But God
will, - solemnly. 81 know; but he'll
never tell the baker!' Quincy Argo
"WHY, Uncle Nose, what in the world
is the matter with you? You look like q
drowned rat, remarked Gilhooly. "Ols
nassa in hebben must need dis ole
darby. Had berry close call. Fell off
de eend oh de Galveston wharf. Had
de debbel oh time gittin' out again.
Ole rheumacky niggah like me can't
skin up q wet pile wuff cuss." "Was
there nobody there to help you out2"
"Not Iibbin sole: and eff / jest hadn't
had de big luck to be dar myself, do
crabs would be disfggering dis ole
cullud voter right now. ;"