Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1880-11-06
BILL AND THE WIDOW.

Wife, said Ed. Wilburn one morn
ing, as he sat stirring his coffee with
one hand and holding plum cake on
his knee with the other, and looked
across the table into the bright eyes OF
his little wife, wouldn't it be a good
Joke to get batchelor Bill Smiley to
take widow Watson to Barnums show
next week!
You cant do it, Ed; he won't ask
her, he's so awful shy. Why, he came
by here the other morning when l was
hanging out the clothes, and he looked
over the fence and spoke, but when l
shook out night gown he blushed like
a girl and went away.
Il think | can manage it, said Ed;
but I'll have to lie just a little. But
then it wouldn't be much harm under
the circumstances, for | know she likes
him, and he don't dislike her, but just
as you say, he's so shy. I'll just go
over TO his place TO borrow some bags
of him, and if | don't bag him before |
come back, don't kiss me for a week
Nellie.
So saying, Ed. started, and while he
is moving the field, we will take look
at Bill Smiley. He was rather a good
looking fellow, though his hair and
whiskers showed some gray hairs, and
he had got in a set Of false teeth. But
every one said be was good sonl, and
so he was. He had as good hundred
acre farm as any in Norwich, with q
new house and everything comfortable,
and if he wanted wife, many a girl
would have jumped at the chance like
rooster on a grasShopper. But Bill was
so baShtul-always was-and when SUI
san Berrybottle, whom he was so sweet
on, though he never said boo to her,
90. married to old Watson, he just drew
in his head like a mudturtle in his shell
and there was no getting him out again,
though it had been noticed since Susan
bad become widow he paid more at
tention to his clothes, and had been
very regular in his attendance at the
church the fair widow attended.
But here comes Ed Wilbun.
Good morning Mr. Smiley.
Good morning, Mr.. Wilburn; what's
the news your way?
oh, nothing particular that know
of, said Ed, only Barnums show that
everybody is talking about and every
body and his girl are going to. was
over 10 old Stockrider's last night, and
| see his son Gus has got new buggy,
and was scrubbing up his harness, and
he's got that white-faced colt of his
slick as a seal | understand he thinks
of taking the Widow Watson to the
show. He's been hanging around there
a good deal OF late, but Id just like to
cut him out, would. Susan is a uice
little woman, and deserves better man
than that young pup ola fellow, though
| would not blame her mnch either II
she takes him, tor she must be dreadful
lonesome, and then she has to let her
farm out on shares, and it isn't half
worked, and no one else seems to have
the spunk to spank up to her. BY lingo
if l were single man I'd show you
trick or two.
So saying, Ed borrowed some bags
and started around the corner of the
barn where he had left bill sweeping,
and put bis ear to knothole and lis
tened, knowing the bachelor had hab-
it of talking to himself ~nen anything
worried him.
'Confound that young StockriderT
said Bill, what business has he there Id
like to know? Got new buggy, has
he? Well so have |, and new har-
ness too; and his horse cant get in sight
of mine; and | declare, I've half mind
to-yes l will! I'll go this very night
and ask her to 90 to the show with me.
III show Ed Wiiber that | amt such a
calf as he thinks / am, if | did let old
Watson get the start of me in the first
place!
Ed. could scarce hel p laughing out
right, but he hastily hitched the bags on
his shoulder, ard with low chuckle at
his success started home totell the news
to Nellie; and about five o'clock that
evening they saw Bill go by with his
buggy on his way to the widows. He
logged along quietly, thinking OF the
old singing school days-and what
pretty girl Susan was then, wondering
inwardy if he would have more courage
now 20 speak up to her, until at dis
tance of about a mile from her house he
came to a bridge-over large creek
and it so happened that just as he reach
ed the middle of the bridge, he gave q
tremendous sneeze, and blew his teeth
clear ont of his mouth, and clear over
the dash board, and striking on the
planks they rolled over the side OF the
bridge and dropped into four feet OF
water.
Words cannot do justice to poor Bill
or paint the expression of his face as he
sat there completely dumbfOunded at
his startling piece of i'll luck. After
awhile he stepped out Of his buggy,and
getting down on his hands and knees,
looked over into the water. Yes there
they were, at the bottom with crowd
of little fishes rubbing their noses
against them, and Bill wished TO good
ness that his nose was as close for one
second. His beautiful teeth that had
cost him so much, and the show com
ing on and no time to get another set
and the widow and young Stockrider.
Well be must try and get them some
how-and no time to be lost, for some
one might come along and ask him
what he was fooling around there for.
He had no rotion Of spelling his good
clothes by wading in with them on, and