Morning appeal. [volume] (Carson City, Nev.) 1877-1906, 1880-02-10
DOBSON'S DOCTORS.
RUNS THB GAUfTLET OF FOUR QuACKS
AND COMES HOME TO DIE.

CISCO where he had gone for the benefit OF
his health. The p,or fellow was so run dow n
and debiiitated that there scarcely any
thing left of him but shadow. An APPEAL
reporter called ON D,bson at his house and
found the old gentlemen wrapped up in blan-
kets with his feet III tub of hot water. He
looked for all the world like a man about to
reinquish the trials and tribulatlons of this
old for the joys and felicities of the next
Sam Wright. the genial undertaken, was
present by special invitation taking Dobson' S
measure for coffin.
Not too tight fit, MIR. Wright, think a
metallic coffin will be about the thing.
81 understand" said the undertaken
g viii wo-inch gas pipe be about the sizel
- think it will be quite roomy enough,
replied Dohson, handing him the money.
"You can seal up each end Theoretically
and drive it into the ground perpendlcularly.
This idea seemed to please the undertaken,
as he reflected how the grave digger could be
wholly dispensed with.
| DoBsoN AT THE BAY
Dobson ordered his wife to go down to
Il arris Brothers and get what Grape she
wanted, and during her absence he gave the
| reporter a detailed account of his visit to the
Bay.
"When | reached the city | went to Dr.
Sknpole the leading physician of the place
and he began treating me. | was with him
about Week when | met friend in the street
and told him what Twas doing. Doctor Spin
pole !! said he. 'Skinpole is the worst quack
in town. Every night the ghosts of his patients
file up stairs, knock at his Office door and cry
for vengeance He has populated Lone Noun,
tain with his victims. Let me take you to
DR.. Grabber, my friend on Kearney street.
He'll set you on your pins in a week. Well,
went and EN- ployed DR.. Grabber, a nice
quiet gentlemen witAfive rooms on one floor,
gorgeous offices and four bay windows all
covered with gilt signs. He was getting along
pretty we'll when | met Carson friend and
happened to mention the name of Or. Grab
Der. 'Oh yes, said he, "a nice, clever gen
tleman, socially, but an ignoramus far as
medicine is concerned. He killed my wife, |
reduced her from the picture of health to an |
emaciated corpse. He has no diploma, and |
the undertakes gave him all the furniture of
his office for valued services rendered. Try !
Tomkins, he's the boss. Well, quit Grab
Der and employed Tomkius. One day l was
coming away from his office and friend saw
me coming down stairs. Rushing up he said
feelingly, as he grasped nay hand, Good bye
old friend, I'll be On hand at the funeral. If
astonished l dema nded an explanation. 4
see you have called in Tomkins Prepare to
meet your God. He's clean crazy, and two
doses of his blue mass pills will knock the
stuhing out of Hercules. He killed my
father i'll two days. Come with me to Dr.
Yavp, a graduate of the Berlin college of
he can do almost anything with a
man except raise him from the dead after the
the body gets cold l tried Yawp and
he had me four days when the landlord
of the hotel where l was stopping came
and told me | had better leave 81 don't
want you to die if | can help it. | see Dr.
Yawp called, and if be calls again you're a
gone goose. He 5 always experimenting with
patients, killing them in different ways. He's
travelling pestilence and tried to introduce
yellow fever here last year TO experiment
with the disease. He just got out of the lu-
latic asylum and is as crazy as bed bug.
I GU d better leave right away, can't take any
chances on Iawps PATIENTS By this tina
was 50 thoroughly frightened that ! packed
ny trunk and started for Carson to regain my I
health. But guess | saw too many doctors a
Here's nay record of treatment
BLOSSOMS MEDICINE SCHEDULE
DR.. Skimpole, Phosphoric Air Treatment, !
800. DR.. Grabber, Electric battery, shocked !,
way twelve pounds of flesh, $3.50. Liver pad 7
6. Electric belt So Truss Sl2 Magnetic :,
aths $40. DR.. Thomkns, undoing Grabbers
Iork $3.50 Taking out liver and scraping
ungi off with knife, $500. Putting in new
Ings $50. Advising me to throw away pads
nd trusses $50. DR.. Yawp, gutta percha storn
Oh, $500, new sections of vertebre, seven 1t
,ints at So Joint, sixteen ounces OF new
rains at $50 an ounce, removing and clean -
rg left eye, $50, totally destroying sight of .
We, 500. Sundries, $I30. This is Just u
'ugh draft of my expenditures running !"
lie gauntlet of four doctors. | weighed $50 I.
,rnds v hen | went down there and now |