New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-04-07
SENSE AND j ONSRNSf...


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SENSE AND NONSENSE.
A GAME leg haunch Of ycnison.5
NoTHING 50 quick KY dries 4 woman's
tear as a kiss.
HOT discussion frequently makes y
cool friendship.
How to acquire short hand DOL
around a buzz-saW. rs
The best time to gather apples is in
! lhe dark of the moon --When tho
farmer is in his little bed.
:. Now Lay in your coal, . says IN tx.
change. The man who would prollel
i such advice must be a fuel.
"A UTICA sbootb black who was driven
out Of that city claims consideration
here as apolish refuge gee. Syracuse SIM
day Times. sIs
Mr.. SETH GREEN is respectfully re-
Iquested to see if the. oyster cannot be
d0mesticated in church-fair> steWs,--
i Cincinnati Commercial. sS.sss. Is ffS4 ri
THERE'S a love Of beasts and a love Of birds,
And 9 love Of the loye-god's wiies;
Buta love that knocksa peck textbook thin
Is love Of the latest styles. s$.
81 Aadrew's fBazar.
OUTSIDE spectators in Wall street
were first called ..lambs'' by the Eve,1-
ing Post, for the reason that they gam
Dol first and get s!lcared afterWard. 5s
eve are living at present in the
very arms of tyranny" exclaims q
Western scribe. Aha! just been mar
ried, have your Vul.rloo Observer. 8
/ A LITTLE boy came to his mother re-
Gently and said, Mamma, / should
think that if kWas made of dust, I
should get muddy inside when I drink
T IT is not strange that writers some
tween" that," which, and who
Relatives are always more or less
troublesome Boston Transcript.
A MAN at Dutch Flat, Cal, picked up
a rock the other day to throw at a COW.
The weight of it attracted his attention,
and on examination it was found TO
contain over q hundred dollars in gold.
| A YOUNG woman turned up her nose,
and said, with a snerr: ''Iwon't marry
a farmer That is agood arrangement
for the farmer f.she had married him,
ewould be the one to regret it.-Iowa
| State Register.
| A YANKEE woman recently marrieda
| Chinese laundryman, and III three days
thereafter the unhappy Celestial APP
pearcd at barber's shop and ordered
his pigtail to be cut off, saying, in cx-
! plantations: ".Too muchcc yank' ..H
| A NEWSPAPER writer advises poets tc
"dive down deep into irrefragablc aud
l'imperishable facts and thereby :: Gle
| vate themselves to the loftiest heights
of sublime ideas and ennobling senti-
| ment." TO "dive down deep III
order to s. elevate ones self is a poetic
licensc.-N. Y. Mait s.s ~ Z. - f'a#z
A THREE-YEAR-ol' little Girl was
taught to close her evening PRAYER,
during the temporary absence Of her
father, with, "And please watch over
| my papa It sounded very sweet,
but the mothers amazement may be
imagined when the child added, .'And
you'd better keep an eye on mamma,
! too -zS -. WY @zt' Y >ttt5'3.<$
| A YOUNG lady who had been married
| . little over year wrote to her matter
| of-fact old father, saying, 1--WE have
| the dearest little cottage, in the world;
ornamentcd with the most charming
| little creepers you ever saw" The old
man read the letter and exclaimed,
Twins, by thunder. ''v-Kcoltatk Cousti-
tuition.
| The Supreme Court of the District of
Columbia has lately decided that COM
mon carriers. including railroads, ex-
press companies, etc., cannot release
themselves from liability to pay full
value for packages or property lost or
destroyed by limiting in the receipt
given for the goods the amount for
which they propose to be liable.
L WANT to sell you an encyclope-
dia, y said book agent to one of our
foremost pork men the other day, who,
| by the way, is better posted on pork
than he is on books. "What do want
with your encyclopedia snarled the
| pork man; II couldn't ride one if Ihad
it, He thought it was a new variety
Of velocipede. - Cincinnati SATURDAY.
| Night.
| A DANBURY boy was discovered to be
"playing hockey yesterday by an
uncle. He was working a velocipede
in the suburbs. 1t was supposed by the
uncle that the boy had taken advantage
of his fathers being out of town for the
day. But the young man denied the
impeachment, and claimed that he
stayed from school because of sore
heel sore enough to prevent work
ing velocipede, but too sore for study.
-Danbu1y NesUs.
A GENTLEMAN who recently returned
from an extended sojo,lrn at CONSTANT
nople writes furious letter to a San
francisco paper denouncing what are
advertised as g Turkish: attendants. at
the Hammam as imposters. He says he
took bath there the other day and be-
gan conversing with the rubber-down
in his native language, which the cor
respondent speaks iluently. Instead of
responding to the familiar accents of
the Golden Horn the alleged Mussul-
man Immediately turned the big cold
hose on him under the impression that