Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1880-03-10
/" MARK TWAIN"
A Humorist who Does Not ALWAYS j

Ouf feauerS are l3mlilar with Miss Mary
kyle, the ''banner woman and her
harmless eccentricities. For years she has
been wont to see visions and dream dreams
of \ condition of universal peace and social
harmony, in which all wrongs should be
righted and all ills cured. With her, great
political and religious questions have
close connection, and though she is de-
voted Catholic, the millennium she works
for and prays for involves restoration of
the ''era Of good feeling in church and
state, when heretics and saints, Republi-
cans and Democrats, lawgivers and law
breakers, shall be reconciled and meet in
one communion.
10 this end Mary makes many banners
with characteristic inscriptions and end
less decorations, which she hangs in pub
lie places, and writes lengthy epistles to
the newspapers and to public men. For
some months past she has manifested
great interest in Mark Twain Samuel
eral letters ut Hartford, Conn.,, on the sub
jects which lie near to her heart. None
Of these elected any response, until her
last, which embodied proposition
that to settle all denOminatiOnal diff
ferences in Lancaster she would
give grand dinner, at which among the
guests should be Bishop Shanahan. Rev.
DR.. Greenwald, Rev. Father J. c. Hickey
and other clergymen of differing churches,
and she not only requested s. aid for this
purpose, but also Mark Twain's' pres
ence ut the dinner to carve the turkey,
which was to grace the feast. This letter,
like the others, gave an account of some
of Miss Kylie's visions. In response, Miss
K. received about ten days ago the sub
joined letter, which, after some hesitation,
she has furnished for publication. Though
marked ''private" it is worthy the appre
| citation of 4 larger circle OF readers than
the many to whom its recipient has shown
it; and it's sentiments do such
| credit to the heart as well us
| the head of the writer, that We
take pleasure in laying it before our
readers. The tender sympathy it evinces
| for her to whom it is addressed. the kind
consideration for her eccentricitieS. the
| strong common sense and the delicate
touches of humor it contains, are sufficient
apology for transgressin. its mark of pti-
vacy.
The letter contained Il check f,r 81
signed by rs. L. Clemens which has
been duly cashed here and honored in
Hartford and the MIR. Miller referred to
is Mr.. J. N. Miller, 45a East King street.
in whose care Miss Kyle had asked for
the answer to Le sent.
Mark Twain's Letter.
FARMINGToN AVENUE,
HARTFuRD, Feb. q, 1850.
Well, Mary, my friend, you must think
| am slow sort of correspondent, and the
truth is, | an. You must forgive this
| fault it is one which have never been
able to correct. l am a pretty busy person,
| and very lazy one !; therefore l am apt to
| let letters lie Il long time before
answer them. However. once Il
year, on OF about Washington's
birthday, l rake together all the un-
answered letters and reply to them. |
meant to answer the letter you sent me
some weeks ago, but waited for Wash
ington's birthday to come. Write to me
whenever you feel like it, Mary, but don't
| you feel hurt if | keep you waiting till the
|
swer do not feel half SO much hurried
and bothered when have u year to answer
a letter in as l do when people expect n
reply right away. l only send money to
people once u year, too, and that is on
Washington's birthday, SO you see if | had
answered you earlier | could not have
sent you the five dollars until now.
Take this check which enclose. and go
to the bank with MIR. Miller, and he will
tell the banker you are the person named
in it, and will give you the money, or, if
you choose, you can mail the check (after
writing your name on the back of it, to
Messrs. George p. Bissell & Co., Hartford
Conn.,, telling them to send you Il postal
order, and they will send it by return
mail. l think your idea of getting
those clergymen together at a din
ner table is very good one. They
will have to put up with each others soci-
ETY. good long time in heaven, SO they
may rs we'll begin to get used 10 it here.
Besides, think, as you do, that their COM
ing together in friendly spirit will have
a good influence on other people. | am
much obliged to you for asking me to be
present and carve the turkey, but l must
not 90. Always when l carve turkey |
swear little. (All people do-to Mem-
| octeeo-uut S"Ctel IL, III Ouo. hCSCi COuNi
help it, though it has cost me
many pang.) l think person
ought not to swear where clergymen are.
unless they provoke him. Well, l couldn't
be there, anyway, because have to stay at
home and stick close my work, else this
nation would become so ignorant in a lit
tie while that it would break ones heart
| to look at them. No, you and l have our
separate duties in this world, Mary-yOur
line is to humanize the clergy, and mine is
to instruct the public. Let us not interfere
with each others functions. l have a most
kindly sympathy toward you and your
work, and perhaps that is a better contri-
button than my own presence would
be. You say ''Pity me"-indeed 1 do,
and that is true word. l wish could
tell you whether those were genuine Wis
ions and inspirations you have written me
about, but can not be absolutely certain.
They eeem to me to be just like all the
visions and inspirations have ever heard
| of, and so I think you may rest assured
that yours are SO perfectly true and genu-
inc and trustworthy rs any that have ever
happened in the world. Now let that
| comfort you, Mary, let that give peace to
your troubled spirit, and believe ME your
! friend $. L. CLEMENS.
MARK Twain.)
That Old Problem.
In accordance with the prevailing mania
for puzzles, a correspondent sends us the