Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1880-03-24

| '1totC anu IhO val ing bcihpSl VI III
people. Kentucky was then a Stat
in the Union with a representation il
our Congress, but she had sent no les
than thirty-four thousand men to tn,
rebel army and had also . representa-
tion in the rebel Congress at Rich
mond. | had expected to have some
i difficulty in making my embarrass
ments understood. but here was a mar
who knew everything, and by simple
story had not only explained my stu
alton, but had pointed out what
should do. related the story to Mr.
Stanton, and after that always referred
to the contest in Kentucky as that be
tween two roosters. Once | wrot,
! Mr. Wade: Tell Mr. Lincoln oul
high-combed cock is doing very wei
and can hardly fail to win The
Esquire bets three to one on him al
/ present" In his next letter Wade re
piled: II delivered your message tC
Mr. Lincoln and he laughed heartily
and told me an ant story, which you
should get him to repeat to you the
first time you see him"
Blessed Old Abe, was there ever q
man like him ?" Certainly not in this
country, and | doubt if ever in any
other.
One day not long after Mr.. Lincoln
issued his Emancipation Proclamation,
Mr. Wade came in, laughing all over
his face and said:
"Well, Old Abe has just done the
funniest thing you ever heard of. He
has given out be has the smallpox to
keep the politicians and ofice-seekers
away from the White House"
The story ran thus: Mr. Wade went
to the White House to see Lincoln,
who had been sick He found the
President little pale, but as jolly as
he could be-
"Sit down, Wade. l am glad to see
you. Oh, | have the funniest thing to
tell you; it will make you laugh. |
never did such thing before in my
life, and never will again" Then the
President laughed until the tears ran
down his cheeks.
Now, Wade" he said, ''you are
not to repeat this outside. for it would
give ofense, and it by no manner of
means comports with the dignity
which is supposed to hedge Presi-
dent about The doctor put me up to
it TO rid myself of bore; | ought not
to have done it, but | couldn't help it,
it was so funny You know | have
been i'll, and great many people have
wondered what allied me, but none of
them could find out. The truth is |
was worried to death, and talked sick
pretty much by one man, the most
everlasting bore you ever saw, who
wanted an Office | knew he would
come again as soon as | was able to
sit up, and the doctor put me up to
get rid of him by saying | had the
smallpox / only got out yesterday,
and sure enough this morning he was
here. | had determined to be polite to
him, but he stayed so long the humor
seized me and sent for the doctor
Giving him the wink, | held out my
hand and inquired:
"'Doctor, what marks are those on
my hand p
"'That's varioloid, or mild small
pox,' said the doctor.
"Well, said |, its all over me. It's
contagious. is it not, doctor p
Every contagious, indeed he re-
piled. and YOU should see no one
"My visitor who had been getting
more and more nervous every moment,
now could stand it no longer and,
rising, said:
"Well, Mr.. Lincoln, ! can't stop
any longer. | just called to see how
you were, and then he started TO hurry
out.
Stop a minute; ! want to talk to
you, said |, about that Office
"'Excuse me. Mr. President You
arc not well this morning and won't
bother you,' said he, showing toward
the door.
"Never mind, said /, don't be in
hurry. It's all right, and if you are
going to get the varioloid you will get
it now anyhow; so you might as well
sit down
Thank you, sir, but I'll call some
other time he replied, fairly turning
livid and executing mastery retreat
from the fearful contagion with which
he supposed me to be afflicted
Now said Uncle Abe, it will be
all over the city in an hour that ] have
the smallpox, and you can contradict
the story, but | want you to promise
that you won't repeat what | have
just told you
Wade laughed until he was weak,
and when he could get his breath suifi-
ciently to speak he looked at the clock,
as was his custom, and said:
"Now for little business and then
| will go"
Don't 60" cried Uncle Abe, and
laying his head in his hands on the
desk in front Of him he laughed until
he shook all over. Presently raising
up his face from between his hands he
wiped his eyes and blew his nose until
the report sounded like the winding of
a horn. After another fit of laughing
he said:
Wade, you should have seen him,
and how scared he was. I'll bet that
fellow never comes back here while |
am President
As might have been expected, hardly
had Mr.. Wade quilted the White
House when he heard the President
had the smallpox, and was very sick.
Wade promptly contradicted the story,
but that night it was telegraphed all
over the country, and many people
will vet remember the story of Mr..
Lincoln's having the varioloid during
the war.
Commenting on the report. Uncle
Abe said 10 Wade: "Some people said
they could not take my proclamation
very we'll but when | get the small
nox Wade | shall then he happy to