Morning journal and courier., 1880-01-19
PLEASANT FACTIONS.

young man recently had a nose grafted in New York hospital. We have seen noses bud and blossom, but never heard of grating them before.-Boston Post.
 A Virginia paper describes fence which is made of such crooked rails that every time a pig crawls through he comes out on the sam 3 side.-Wilmington Republican.
 A country damsel, describing her first kiss, told her female friend that she never knew how it happened, but the last thing she re. membered was 8 sensation of fighting for breath in hothouse full of violets, with Ven tilation checked by blush roses and tulips Albany Journal.
 By the insertion of one letter in place of another, a newspaper, not long sincs, report ing the danger that an express train had run, in consequence Of COW getting upon the l line, said :: GAS the safest way the engineer put on full steam, dashed up against the COW, and literally cut it into calves !'-Ohambsrs'
 rJournal.
 "What Is hell2" asked g Lutheran Sunday | school teacher of boy, in class, last Sab bath. IA shirt with a button of, ma'm,'' re- piled the boy. Explain yourself; what do you mean. sir2" demanded the meek-spirited but surprised teacher. "Well, I heard my pa say to my ma the other morning when he | put on 8 shirt with the neck button of | Well, this is he'll That's all know about 1 it."
 A member of debating club down in the
 country was soaring in the flights of spread eagle eloquence. He flew his kite over repub- lies and their institutions and then began to l mention dukes, emperors, kings and queens. 1 As he came down to queens some unregener- ate heathen parenthetically adding, And ten spots, broke the orator all to pieces, para l lyzed the society and the ayes had it on g
 resolution to adjourn.-Des Moines Register. | Chicago man took out his new trottel | H. | Ak,,I A1r4 4kt, day. After putting the nag through at his best gait for a quarter stretch, the owner proudly wheeled up to 8 policeman on the | track and asked stWhy don't you arrest me
 for fast driving, old fellow ?" The officer l only replied, grufhy: ''No cause, sir you dinance, sir" The citizen is advertising a
 fine trotter for sale in all the city newspapers to-day.-Chicago Journal
 i The Paris Figaro has new version of the fable of the dog who saw himself reflected in I the brook: A dog carrying stolen beef steak in his mouth, comes to Impid stream l which reflects surrounding objects as clearly of himself, he thinks of seizing the piece of meat it holds, which he supposes to be real, | but concludes that it would be more prudent | first to devour his own piece. Then he looks again in the stream. The reflected dog has | nothing in his teeth, and expresses the satis- | faCEIOn or a cOnL0nC6O SGOmaCQ. hR BAyS I the dog that fellow had the same idea had. D And he runs away laughing.
 We have no opera and very few concerts, as compared with last year, but dinners, recep- | tions and theater parties abound, and there are striking evidences on all sides of the in dulgences which come with reviving prosper | ity. But not always does wealth, here or | elsewhere, bring understanding with it, and so when a young man whom "boom" in stocks had made opulent arrayed himself in purple and fine linen the other day and went | to call upon 8 fair Fifth avenue damsel, it was perhaps more his misfortune than his fault that he made such 8 mistake: 'I am ! sorry, sir,' said the footman, s'that she l sciatica.'; "Ohl" cried the gilded youth, ''that's just what I was afraid of. thought one of those confounded Italian fel-
 lows might get ahead of me."--New York | Advertiser.
 An old man with satchel and cane yester- l day stood in front of the Detroit opera house | for a long half hour, surveying the building with curious eye, and finally entered, walked l up to the box office and asked: 'sWhat's the regular price to go In ?" ssWell, about six shiIlings," answered Shaw. sIH give you ten cents!" The treasurer hesitated for 8 VI iIe,
 but finally took the money and told him to go l up. The old man went up stairs to find every | thing dark and deserted. He took 8 seat, fixed his gaze on the drop curtain, and didn't get tired out for about half an hour. Then
 he walked down stairs with slow and dignifed step, put his head into the box-ofhce and said 1 ''n you call that panorama then you don't know what panorama is, and if folks come
 along and pay six shilIings to see it, there's g heap of fools in this countryl Good day I'- Detroit Free Press.