The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-07-08
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

All Sorts OF Paragraphs.
A good side.show-a pretty cheek.
- Where to 60 when short of money
go to work.
: Hancock is a communicate in the
Episcopal Church.
Diligence is fair fortune and in.
dustry good estate.
= The world owes US all living, but
she is just as hard to collect from as any
other debtor.
= Gen. Hancock is twin. His twin
brother, Hilary Hancock, is a lawyer at
Minneapolis, MINI.
- Prairie Wolf an Indian chief, has
just died at the age of 119, from the ex-
cessive use of tobacco.
The biggest sponge ever seen in
New York has recently arrived. 1t is
eight feet in diameter.
Senator Wade Hampton has accept
ed an invitation to deliver an address at
fair in Lexington, KY, next autumn.
Ex-senator James A. Bayard, SEN
ator Baysrd's lately deceased father,
advocated Hancocks nomination in 1868.
- Conogcr thinks he can "pull Gar
field through" in Florida, but who will
pull Conover through ?-Boston Herald
(hd.)
A small cherry wood cabinet, made
by President Lincoln, fifty years ago, and
used by him as a desk, is owned by
gentleman in Indiana.
"What kind of conscience have you,"
asked chaplain, of convict in a State
prison. at is as good as new for | have
never used it," was the reply.
Colonel Fred Grant is represented
by the Boston Globe as murmuring
mournfully, Fathers gone up and Pm
liable to be ordered where there's dan
ger"
A Petersburg, Virginia, tobacconist
has received contract to furnish the
United States army with three hundred
thousand pounds of tobacco at ifty-two
cents pound.
"Mr. Smith, father wants to borrow
your paper. He only wants to read
it." "Well, go back and tell your father
to send me his supper. Tell him l only
want to eat it"
- The man who is curious to see how
the world could get along without him
can find out by sticking cambria needle
into mill.pond and then withdrawingit
and looking at the hole.
They charge fifteen cents for a
drink of buttermilk at Key West, but as
a sort of Offset they fling the customer
four dozen oranges and tell him to send
a dray after his bananas.
Small boy rushing in front of young
lady wearing rather large poke. bonnet,
and staring her full in the face: you've
lost your bet, Charlie; told yer it
warn't an old woman"
The little boys of Ohio are 10 be
congratulated. Their chances for be-
coming Presidents of the United States
are double those of little boys from other
States. Every Ohio colt feels himself a
future dark horse.
- A little boy of four years was sleep
ing with his brother, when his mother
said "Why, Tommy, you are lying right
in the middle of the bed. What will
Harry do?" "Well, ma," he replied,
"Harry's got both sides"
"Son," said Gen. Grant, "thou wag-
gest thy tongue overmuch, and follow not
in the footsteps of thy father, the silent
man. Speech is silver, but silence is
golden, and every time you opened your
jaws, you idiot, you discounted on your
poor pas chances"
-"Do, do keep away from that win.
do1v - said he "Rut Pm NOT afraid of
the lightning" replied she. "Ah!
DEAR" continued the youth, frantically,
"little do you realize how attractive you
are" And, having made this appeal, he
was able to conduct 'er away.
Two children were engaged in
dispute as to the relative merits of their
respective fathers. Finally one of them
said, in a tone of triumph: "Well, my
papa is the brayest, anyway, he listed in :
the war" "Huh, that's nothin'," was
the disdainful rejoinder: "my papa
listed three times in one year, and got
bounty every time.'
A man who firmly believes that a
second flood will come next November,
to cover the whole face of the earth. is
building an ark at Helena, Texas. TIE
craft will hold fifty persons, with food
for forty nights, and he will take
passengers at $500 each. Every other
vessel, he explains, will be wrecked.
The managers of the Chicago hotels
have been giving the figures showing
their receipts during the week of the
National Convention. The Palmer
House took in s1O5O00, the Grand Pa
ciic about 100000, the fremont $50 900,
the Sherman S27 1000. The total sum left
in the city by strangers during conven.
ton week is thought to have exceeded
s4O0,OO0
= The Democrats at Washington have
begun to collate in pamphlet form the
record of Mr.. Garfield in connection with
the Credit Mobilier and other charges.
The pamphlet will contain extracts from
editorial articles published in the leading
Republican newspapers about the time
the Credit NIobilier and District Ring
scandals came to light, and may also be
illustrated by contemporaneous cartoons
from Harpcr's Weekly and other perlodi-
calls.
- The French Forestry Department,
according to the POlybibhon, have arrived
at the conclusion that forests directly in.
crease the supply of water in their neigh
borhood. From observations at Senitz
and Nancy they have decided that it
rains more abundantly in wooded tracts,
and that, while the leaves and branches
give back the water quickly to the air,
they prevent rapid evaporation from the
ground, and are thus favorable to the