The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-10-21

"A PoBrESS sings: 81 fall asleep;
Then he arrives and whispers IN my
ear, The past Is not, He whom you
love Is here; No longer weepl" She
eats too many pickles and chocolate
caramels and things just before going
to bed. But perhaps she likes to have
him whisper In her ear when she is
asleep. 1t 80, she should not complain
about 1t in the newspapers.
Got out Doors.
The close confinement of all factory
work, gives the operatives pallid faces,
poor appetite, languid, miserable ieel-
Ing, poor blood, inactive liver, kidneys
and urinary troubles, AMI all the physi-
clans and medicine IN the world cannot
help them unless they get out Of doors
or use Hop Bltters. the purest anu best
remedy, especially for such cases, hav-
ing abundance of health, sunshine and
rosy cheeks In them. They cos but
tritie. See another column. Christian
Recorder.
DEAN SWIFT called at house In
Cavan, where the lady overdld his well
come, saying: "Will you have an ap-
pie pie, sirP Will you have goose
berry pie, sirp VIII you have cur
rant pie, sir2 VIII you have a cherry
pie, sir? viii you have plum pic,
sir? viii you have pigeon pic.
sirP At last, wearied with her words,
he said, "Any pie, madam, but mag
pie"
a WOMAN In Lenoir, n. c., was re-
Gently hugged by female relative
with suoh atfeotionate toroe as to break
her ribs. Young women shouldn't
waist their strength that way. 1t is
sometimes disastrous to assume mans
work. a man appears to know by in
stinct just how much pressure the te-
male RIBS will stand, and the business
should be left to his arms alone.
A YOUNG lady at watertown, Mass,
recently took a peep under her bed Just
before retiring for the night, and was
rewarded with view of a mans boots.
She Immediately called her father, who
promptly responded with a gun and
club, and catching hold OF the alleged
rascal's feet, brought his own boots to
light.
CELIA, Is your father at home ?"
said bashful lover to his sweetheart.
~ want to propose something very
important to him." "No, Clarence,
papt is not at home, but am. Couldn't
you propose to me just as well?" And
he did with perfect success.
A LADY at White Sulphur Springs Is
compaI ed to the mother of the "Grac-
CHI" because when asked by report
er for description of her dress, said /:
81 don't wear a very handsome COS
tune, but 1 have the incest husband
and two of the sweetest children In the
rOom."
AN old bachelor out west, who years
agoHe was Tilted by woman, became
such woman. .hater that just before
he died, recently, he ordered that none
Of the female sex be perInitted to at
tend his funeral. 1t was terrible
revenge.
SOMEBODY showed Guibollard VEN
erable old negro, and sought to move
his sympathy by saying: Poor old
man, he is stone blind" "How lucky"
said Guibollard, "he won't discover
that he isn't white man."
GUEST at a restaurant TO waiter,
having complaint to make: "Sav,
walter, where is the prophet
Waiter, with fond and pityingsi
"Do you think he dimes hero The.
knows too much for that"
NATURAL RELIGION bishop (reprOv-
ing delinquent page): "Wretched boy
Who Is 1t that sees and hears all we do
and before whom even l am but as
crushed worm?" Page: "The mlssus,
my lOr !"
"IT looks like the scene of great
battle," remarked traveller, viewing
the work of recent cyclone at the
West. Eyes," said the native solemnly
and without removing his pipe, "the
place was TUX by storm"
A YoUNGsTER joyfully assured his
mother the other day that he had found
out whore they made horses; he had
seen man finishing onc---"he was
just mailing on his last foot.''
ONE for Him: Sporting Uncle
"When you gallop your pony like that,
Charlie, you should take him on the
turf" Charlle-"But Uncle Bob,-I
heard papa say he hopes l'll never go
on the turf.-like you."
THE last valse but four-time 2 $50
a. M: Wife of his bosom-"Don't
keep looking at your watch, Algy |!
One would think vOu were in church -
As..akz.
GIVE Attention At oNOs to ANYTHING sympto.
m tic OF Cholera Mor6us, Diarrhoei, or any
Bowel Co.Mpl INT, by using promptly Or. Jayne,s
suffering anu no liz tle danger. The FeDututlOn