Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-05-13
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

~ nv auioohO SOLuPllnlcuUo Ou my
tombstone" said wag. "Don'tgive me
any epltafy."
| Patrick dressing for party.) "Bedad
now, and | shan't be able to git on these
boots till I've worn thin tonne or two. "
| To preserve flowers in water: "Mix a
little saltpetre or carbonate of soda with
water, and it will preserve them for two
weeks.
Recipe for making the hands white;
Take some dry Indian meal, wet your
hands and rub them with it; then wash
them with soap and tepid water.
Boy, aged 4, taken to church for the
first time, listened to the organ for few
moments and then said, "When will the
organ man let the monkey outP"
A fellow in New Orleans is said to have
eaten box of CASTLE soap to get rid Of
freckles. He still has few on his face,
but inside he isn't freckled bit.
"Papa," said his little girl, aged siI
years and nine months, to him one day,
why do you say step.daughterP Is il
because she has been trodden upon2"
Ada(aged d, who was doing something,
and was told to desiat by her moher.
Mother-"Ada, am | to speak to you
againP" Ada-"Yes, ma, you may, If
you like"
Fly poison: Boil one-quarter ounce
small chips of quassia in one pint of
water; add four ounces of moIasses.
Flies drink this with avidity, and are
soon destroyed.
The expression, "Uneasy lies the head
that wears crown" is absurd, because
no sensible king ever goes to bed with his
crown on. He always hangs it on the
back of chair, with his vest.
To make paper fre-proof take a solu.
tion of alum and dip the paper into it;
then throw it over line to dry. Tryaslip
of paper in the flame of candle, and if not
sufficiently prepared dip and try it Sec
ond time.
1t is well-established fact that
healthy man requires about a pint of air
at breath; that he breathes about 1000
times an hour, and that as matter be-
yond dispute, he requires about ffty.seven
hogsheads of air in twenty.four hours
The editor of the Sauquoit IN. "
Register suggests that persons sending in
big eggs will please accompany them by
several Ordinary-sized ones, not for publ
cation, but so that the contrast will be
apparent, and as guarantee of good
faith.
A little girl went timidly into a store
at Bellalre, Ohio, the other morning, and
asked the clerk how many shoe strings
she could get for FIVE cents. "How long
do you want themP" he asked. 81 want
them to keep" was the answer, in tone
Of slight surprise.
1t is disheartening for man who
has preached the gospel for twenty-three
years, and has spent his life time trying
to make men better and happier for 300
a year, to read that Levy will get $500
week next summer for blowing a cornet at
Manhattan Beach.
They were sitting together Sunday
evening, with DIN album or two between
them, when she pleasantly asked: "How
would you like to have my mother live
with youH" In Just fifteen seconds he
had his hat halfway down over his face
and was boiling through the gate.
j. C. Ogden, of Elizabeth, N. j., has
come into possession of n time piece be-
tween two and three centuries old, and
it is in state Of vigorous activity and
yet. The works are brass; the
pendulum is an unpolshed piece of lead
hung on thick, rusty wire; the face is of
brass.
The principal of Vassar College stepped
into one Of the recitation rooms
md said; THAT person who is chewing
rum will please step forward and put it
m the desk" The whole school stepped
Onward with one accord toward the desk,
while the teacher slipped her quid beneath
Ter tongue and said: "Really, gulls, I'm
A man, noted for the non-payment of
lis bills, remarking that he 'sprang from
lother Earth" a bystander said: "If
hats so, you are disgrace to your
maternal ancestor" " "How so2' inquired
he impecunious man. because she
lways settles in the spring, and you
ever settle, was the reply.
A farmer writes to the editor of the
'hicago Express: "Dear boy-I saw in
aper that western farmer planted fax
nth potatoes, and it kept the beetles off.
planted flax with potatoes, and the fax
anne up first, and the beetles roasted on
Z, waiting for the potatoes to come up.
ould you give me the address of that
.estern farmer, that | may call upon
imp"
When Gen. Grant took the train at
organ City for New Orleans crowd of
,lored people pressed up to the car plat
r,, nnl nueho1 opI ,ootlaJ npo onotbar
r grasp of the grOfered hand Of "the
an on horseback" An old gray-head-
| man shouted "Gin'l don't you recol-
ct me" Grant shook a mo-" "Why,
inl, Use Alick, de boy dat rode de dun
oss in de army Grant said no." but
lecting a few moments, remarked,
ithout the shadow of a smile, "but |
link | recolleCt the dun horse"
The first postoffice in America was estab-
shed in New York in 17l9, under the
ispices of the Colonial government. In
lS9 the direction of the postal business of
lie country was assumed by congress, the
institution conferring on that body au-
lority to regulate the postages. In that
ear there were but seventy-fve postoffices
/ the United States. France claims the
onor of establishing the first postoffice.
was invented for the use of the Govern
ent IN 1854. In England, the postoffice
as introduced in 1851, and in Germany
| 164l.
Paddle-wheels were paten
nd by William Patrick NJ
nd it is said that he and Mr..
ION after constructed smal
hich ran FIVE miles an hour
ne, then to them belongs Il r
,erating the first steamboat
e honor should be given to a.e
n, who made passage on th
Iyde canal in 1889. In Is t0 au
tperiment in steam navig
hames was made. In 1868
s steamboat Clermont on .ue oeine, at
nris, and in 1906 at New York. All of
ese were merely experiments, and the
st steamboat in the world which served
q practical means of transportation
rs put upon the Hudson river by Fulton
1907.