The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-02
Adventures of Jeremy Green.

JEREMY GREEN left the potato
u field just quarter before twelve by
the sun, and went in to dinner. Instead
of resorting to the weed" as a solace
for weariness he devoted his spare time
to the Weekly NdsTutor, the only news
paper he ever took. AS he was pouring
over its contents that eventful noon he
all at once leaped about three feet in the
air, and in his descent brought down
his fist with such force. on the table
that he overturned huge pan of soup
that his mother had prepared for dinner,
besides breaking few dishes.
"What is that boy about?" fairly
thundered the father.
"He has split the soup, broke the blue
platter, and, dear me, / don't know
what else!'' replied his mother in
calm, though vexed tone.
Jeremy's next sensation was that of
an affectionate caress from the lash of
an immense horsewhip. This was the
first appeal for good behavior he had
received from his pa in four or five
years. For moment he looked savage
ly at the old gentleman, and tho't of his
own superiority of strength, but soon
quelled his pugilistic desires and sat
down again to the Narrator, or rather
to the advertisement that so elated him.
1t was call for agents. Ten dollars
day guaranteed, etc. For particulars,
Roy & Co., No. 8, Village avenue, A.
N. Y, were to be consulted. Jeremy
had always been confined to the farm,
and, feeling tired of it, considered this
chance for him, so he resolved at once
to give it a trial. He planted potatoes
all the afternoon, keeping one or two
rows ahead of his father, and milked the
cows as usual that night, but the next
morning, before daylight, he was on the
way to the city. About noon of the
same day he entered the Village of
Smytheville, just twenty-five miles
from home, feeling tired, hungry and
little disturbed in conscience. In this
condition he called at Farmer Smythe's,
where he procured dinner and an invi-
tation to remain until the following
morning and rest himself. His father
and Farmer Smythe once went to school
together; Jeremy now profited by it.
But we hardly think he would have
tarried, so anxious was he to get to the
city, only that Farmer Smythe had
three very pretty girls. Heptalina, the
Oldest, was eighteen, just year younger
than himself, and so fast did their ac-
',quaintance progress that he became the
owner of a card bearing her name and
address before they parted. Jeremy
slowed it away in his left vest pocket,
feeling that the donor was, to say the
least, an angel, and that he somehow or
.other had taken leap into paradise.
The remainder of his journey was
passed in kind of delightful trance,
from which he did not thoroughly
awake until he found himself in view of
the city. Then his heart gave great
throb, for was he not soon to know his
destiny? He never had been to the city
DSAoaS, ohfA ohO 5iShtS NCiO oO hSW anu
SO startling that he was in a tremor of
excitement by the time he reached the
locality indicated in the advertisement.
He found the avenue dirty one, No. 8,
dilapidated concern, and the woman at
the door of very haggard appearance;
but he summoned courage to inquire if a
man was living there who employed
agents. She replied that there was, and
showed him into small, shabbily fur
nished apartment, where an oily
tongued old fellow informed him that
the article to be canvassed for was a
grease extractor of the greatest merit !;
he considered 1t the most marvellous
F.. discovery of thessge, and the rapidity Of