The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-03-11
BRIC-1-BRdC.

4
Song Of tho dry goods clerks
swinging in dclane.
Those who put their money into
telcphone stock made u sound invest
ment. ~ -
~ -its a very curious thing that tho
Nlhiiists haven't tried u kerosene lamp
on the Gear.
IL we conld see Others as we see
ourselves, there would be more good
looking people in the world.
The fashion of ladies' wearing
walstcoats is supposed to have oriui,
mated in Galveston.
NOV, Emma, what is the tenth
ce.o,Im,,mandmcnt~ con, Emma, aged five
INC same as 1t was last Sunday"
. -Mr. Beechcr says il takes man
ionr years to learn to be president, 1t
taxes a lnan u good deal longer to learn
that nc can't be president.
-"What kind of q conscience hnyc
YOUR asked chaplain, of a convict in
the State prison. "It is as good ms
reply. " 80 Wv
-, -"Mr:: Smithers, how can you sleep
Ine sun has been up these two hours" ;"
"Wcll, what If it hosY" said Smithcrs
"iio goes to bed atdark, while Pm M
till after midnight" *
-"Ilavc you ground all the tools as
l tod you this morning." said car
pentcr, to his apprentice. can but
the saw, sir; couldn't got quite ali
the gaps out Of that"
When rosy-looking girl backs ND
to a stranger at a country dance and
asks him to whack that mosunito
which is gnawing ii6r between tho
shoulders, it Is lio time to read up on
Chesterfield. ..,... J.. ~ ~
-,Rattlcbone's mouth is disfigurcd
DH the absence of ono of his front teeth.
His little daughter surprised him by
'ashi"S' .shaS fop, why ito you part your
.-."1f" advertised n philosophical
Vlc'lm, 1.-THE person who took nv over
coat was influenced by the weather.
thcil al ls serene; but ifhc did SO from
commercial considerations, am ready
to enter into financial negotiations for
its rcturn.''
"A prosperous cqucstrian's daugh-
Ter observed to retired actress ::
"Aftcr all, you were only a circus ar
tlst; my tuthcr rccollccts You well :"
and the elderly lady rctortcd: "I dare
say nc does my dear; he used to chalk
my Shoes"
-The boy who will shivcr and shake
ana nearly freeze to death if lie has to
shoVcl III hhlf-ton Of coal or do an
GRAND for his mother, will stand half
aay OH tho ice, looking at the cutters.
with no more discomfort than polar
bear. p"'
,-..(Sccne.-Printing office: boy ap-
plying for a situation.) Boy-tA tArc
ye neediT q boy?" Manager-"Ycs {;
what have you been accustomed to
work at?' Boy--"Amin in the Gaity socic-
ty at NIGHTS. :" Managcr-"Are vol ono Of
the iniricsr Boy-"No; am the him
legs o. 1i Bo6i's donkcy!" Tho don
Key IS at once set to work.
1--WE bring up our girls" remarks
modern writer, ''like young mon,
ana give them the freedom and privi-
iegcs OF bachelors, and then we expcct
that they Will bear the monotony of
matrlmony and tho restrictions OF ma-
tefhlty with q good grace, and be
nome-staying wives and mothers after
,Tou, ,havlng E been maiden rovcrs and ram
st. Luke tolls us that Zacchcus
sought to see the Master, but ."c6uld
not because of the press" We sus-
pcct, however, that these people who
had secured all the front seats were no
legitimate members Of tho press at all.
put few OF that, innumerable army Of
dead beats who give the press q bad
name by crowding into any and all
places where something can be got for
nothing, and whose only contributions
TO the press are to tho press wastc-bas-
ket.
-!hc bridegroom was not present at
the time appointed fora wedding al
Harmony, Ga: The bride, who knew
his bashtulness, said his courage had
probably failed him. Somebody sug-
gcstcd that horn be blown to call
him, and this was done. A responsive
whoop was heard from tho woods near
ny, but the Young man did not appear
until scouting party brought him in
by force. 1t was not until he became
arful of losing the girl. whose
patience gave way to augcr, that he
mustered courage to face the ccrcmo-
ny.
APPOINTMENTS CONFERENCE.-The
Senate on last Saturday confirmed the
nomination of CadwalIadcr j. Pride TO
90 Supervisor of Census for the first
distrlct, Henry Hammond second dis
trict, Games l.. Brceden third district
OF South Carolina: James B. Mitchell.
collector of customs ut Yorktown, Vir-
glnia; and rejected tho nominations of
Samuel Thompson for Supervisor of
census for the second district of Ala
bama; George M. Buchanan, first dis
trict of Mississippi.
,-Sprfngfeld Republican :-s"The
dark horsc,'' the Device Of Providence
for intervening in the affairs of tho
nation, stands evcn yet the best chance,
rs 1t has in time past carried off the
nonors IN SO many cases, sometimes to
the great benefit of the country and its
advancement among tho nations of tho
ear'h. The dark horse ia not always
the best, but lle at least offers an. even
chance of good government, which
cannot be said of those who are known