The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-03-03
Mr.. John Poyntz, and His Wife's
Relations. " .

Relations.
"Broiled chicken for tea, eh9' said I
"And lobster salad and fried oysters
Upon my word, this looks as if we were
going to have company"
$50 we are, my DEAR" said my wife,
looking a little guilty as she polished
up the surface of the big silver tea tray
with new chamois leather. "They are
all come to visit me-Uncle Silas and
Aunt Melicent and the children, and
Cousin Joab, and the two Miss Wilmer.
dings, and my Aunt Louisa TO meet the
Reverend Mr.. Speakwell, from Minnesota,
who married my second cousin, Jerusha
Wilde. Mr.. Speakwell is troubled with
catarrh, and he thinks of staying at our
house for few weeks while he is being
treated by DR.. Dosem.''
l put down my linen duster and brown
paper parcels with some emphasis.
20, confound the Rev. Mr.. Speakwell p
said I.
John" calculated my wife.
"Well, my dear, can't help it," said
l. "lt's not in human nature to endure
everything. And have been relationed
out of all patience ever since our mar
riage. The Jenkinses went away last
week, the Birdsalls took an affectionate
leave yesterday, and now, just as I was
contemplating peaceful evening by
ourselves, here's new swarm, hungrier
than the rest, just about to settle down
upon us! In my opinion, Kitty, my dear,
relations should be abolished"
II am surprised at you, John,' said
my wife. my own people, that are so
fond of me-"
where's where you are mistaken, nv
DEAR" said I. cts your comfortable
spring beds and good cookery that they
are fond of, not YOU"
"John!"
I'D be willing to wager good round
sum on the truth Of my;Hssertion. said 1
''Because you have no relations your
self"
''Thank Providence for that!" said |.
devoutly. 81 was reared in founding
asylum, and have nobody to thank but
myself for my tolerable success in the
world" -..
cts no reason you should find fault
with mine," said Kitty, with her bright
blue eyes full of tears. "And Mr.. Speak
well is such spiritual minded man, and
dear Uncle silas loves you just as if you
were his only son, and Cousin Joab is so
interested in our children.
"I'm much obliged to 'em" said drv-
ly. "But slept all last week on soft
cushions laid in the bath-tub, and we
had fourteen people here over the ami
versaries; and I was obliged to give up
my own room for a month last winter to
old Mr.. Manswell, not to speak of our be-
ing half poisoned with Aunt Louisa nv
genia messes in the fall. When the
poet says, "There's no place like home,"
lPresume he meant when their were no
relations visiting. I'll tell you what, my
dear, with sudden inspiration, GIVE a
great mind formally to deed over this
house to your relations, if they will agree
solemnly to leave me in peace for the
rest of my life wheresoever NAV set up
my family tents"
"Nonsense!' said my wife. "Do 90 up
stairs and change your things, and brush
your hair and get ready for tea. They
are all waiting in the best parlor, and
was expecting your return to see about
hiring some cot-beds from the village no.
tel, to put up in the attic for those TOUR
little Speakwell children. You see Aunt
Louisa has the blue bedroom, and cousin
Joab has the little wing chamber, and
Mr.: and Mrs. Speakwell have our room,
and"
"1ndeed, said I, "and we are to sleep
in tue barn, surpose?'
"Don't be cross, John," said nv wife,
appealingly. zone must be hospitable,
you know. And can easily make up the
sota-bed in the back parlor for our use,
for week or So"
I said nothing, but ground my teeth
IN silent despair, as sprang up stairs,
two steps at time, to make what chang
es could in my toilet by the aid of a
ten by twelve mirror hung over the wash
stand of stuffy little bathroom.
The Rev. Mr.. Speakwell was a big
man, with a still bigger voice, and a
limp, faded little wife, whose sole earth
~ interests seemed centered in her four
white. eyed, freckle-taced children. I'm
Gle Silas and Aunt Mlllicent were a 81
lent couple with excellent appetites. and
two tall boys, who giggled and snickered
at each other in the intervals eff the con-
versation. .... VIII.
Cousin Joab talked necessarily with
his mouth full, and the two Misses Will
merdings served as general echoes to the
rest, while Aunt Louisa devoured lobster
Said ad li6itu'n, and kept on sending up
her cup tor more green tea, until ITEM
bled for her nerves.
While my wife, careful and troubled.
like Martha of old, with many things,
looked ready to drop with the hospitable
exertions she had made, I, sitting mere
cipher at the head of my table, felt as if
was keeping boarding house, without
any OF the pecuniary emoluments there
from.
my trunks will be up in the six
O'Clock train" said the Rev. Mr.. Speak.
well; I'll trouble you, Cousin Poyntz. tc
SEND an expressman to the depot for 'em
AND II there's any apartment in the
domlclle, Cousin Poyntz, that could be