The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-02-06
SHORT BITS,

sabre, for, though the wound may heel, I
the scar will remain, III Saadi.
A young man who keeps q collection |
locks of hair of his lady friends, calls |
them his hair breadth escapes.
Humility is the Christians greatest |
honor; and the higher men climb, the |
farther they are from heaven. Bur- |
der.
He who has no opinion OF his own,
but depends upon the opinion and |
tastc Of others Is o slave.-fF. G.. K1op-
stock.
1fyour wife objects to kissing you be-
cause You smoke, simply remark that |
you know some girl who will. That
settles IL.
There is always hope in man that
actually and earnestly works. In idle
ness alone there is perpetual despair.
Carlyle.
Hope is like tho wing OF an angel,
soaring up to heaven and bearing our
prayers to the throne OF God.-[ Jeremy
Taylor.
One who Is content with what he has
done will never become famous for what
he will do. He has lain down to die
Bovec.
Everything has recently advanced in
price except liberty, which remains at
cternal vigilance with liberal reduction
TO tho trade.
Mix together oil the food on an Amefi-
eau dinner table, add vinegar and horse
| radish, stir with an old iron spoon, and
the result would be one favorite dish for
q Russian.
Men can live for years and years with
| to move the previous question at ward
| caucus should save both his lungs-and
his legs, too.
, A Nebraska druggist got a boy to take
big sniff of hartshorn as Joke; boy
kicked over kerosene lamp; oil took
fire; loss on store, $500. The druggist
is now driving team.
| sJuge not lest We be iuged," was a
copy recently ssset'' by teacher in one
of the public schools of Chicago. Doubt.
less that teacher considers spelling one
of the ornamental branches.
Twenty years ago." said Georgia
| philosopher, 'sniggers was wuf thou
sand dollars piece. Now dey would be
deah at two dollars dozen. It's 'ston-
ishin' how de race am runnin down"
Josh Billings says he has no objeck-
shun to man parting his hair in the
middle; 1 alwuz insist on him finishing
up the job by wearing a short gown and
petti-koat.
Business man--"You vagabond! You
send word in that you want to see me on
business is-you beg!' Vagabond-
''But you forgot, sir, begging is my
! businessp
| hot r4,1~o
til you can reach your arms around it
and clinch your hands on the other
side," says recently published book
for young men. Very good advice; but
what if she screams?
It was a brace of communists who met
in a secluded holstery near Tompkins
Square. "Lugsy watch you've got on, y
said one; whats she worth?" "Dont
know" the other horny-handed replied,
''the jeweler was asleep"
eli, cabby, have you hot brick in
your hack?" eyes, boss" Enter fare J
ssI say, cabby, this hack is as cold as
Greenland thought you said you had
some hot bricks $50 I have-they' re
under my feet out here. G'lang!'
It is only by labor that thought can be
made healthy, and only by thought that
labor can be made happy, and the two
cannot be separated with impunity.-
Ruskin.
''Been having your boots half-soled?'
asked Tom. "Well, yes, " said Ben, who
was looking little seedy; s.but they're
not half sold as my hat" And it was 8
o'clock the next afternoon before Tom
understood just what he meant by it.
We ought always to deal justly, not
only with those who are just to us, but
likewise with those who endeavor to in
jure us; and this, too, for fear lest, by
rendering them evil for evil, we should
fall into the same vice. Hierocles.
Josh Billings says: ''I will state, for
the information of those who haven't had
chance to lay in sekrit wisdom az /
have, that one single hornet who feels
we'll can break up whole camp-meet
ing"
The are many moments of sadness in
an editors life, but there are occasional
CLEANS of Joy, one of which is when a
pile-driver falls on the head of man
who is in the habit of looking over copy
in the editors desk.
There is touching beauty in the pale
white rose that grows by the dusty way
side, half choked with thistle down; but
it is all lost upon the man who breaks
both his back suspender buttons when he
stoops to pluck it.
An innocent exchange hasa disserta-
tion on "Why the hair comes out. :
After the editor gets married he will
write wholly on other subjects, deeming
that too simple.
The butterfly, the butterfly,
1 How doth the butterfly? and why?
| Because the hired girl doth make
i The round, fiat, toothsome buckwheat
cake
| Aye, this is why doth butterfly.
ssYou have pleasant home and
bright fireside with happy children sit
ting around it, haven't you?" said the
Judge. eyes, SIR said Mr.. Thompson,
who thought he was away out of the
difficulty. "Well," said the Judge, eff
/ the happy children sit around the cheer
! full fireside until you return, they will
! be there just forty three days, as I shall
have to send you up for that time.
Irresistible inducements to purchasers
are offered by the ever popular proprie-
tors of the widely known Farmers and
1 Mechanics Store. An immense stock of
spring goods has been received, and the
prices have been reduced SO materially
! that nothing but bargains can be OBJ
tanned. The stock is comprehensive and
of the very best quality, and must be