The Canton advocate. [volume] (Canton, D.T. [S.D.]) 1877-1897, 1880-11-18
CATCHING A BURGLAR.
How Mr.. Spoopendyke Came to the
Rescue rF

How Mr.. Spoopendyke Came to tn,
Rescue
Brooklyn Eagle: "say, my dear
calculated Mr.. Spoopendyke, sittin.
bolt upright in bed with sudden Jerk
SAY, my dear, wake up! Ihear burg
lars in the house." 5s#s.l. .l...F - ?
"Who? what burglars?" demanded
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she popped ur
beside her husband. who's in thu
house?"
"Hush! Quiet, will ye? I dom
know which burglar, but hear some
one moving around"
'..Oh! my! What shall we do?" in
qured Mrs. Soopendyke. "Let's cove,
up our heads"
''Why don't you get up and light the
gas? propounded Mr.. Spoopendyke in
a hoarse whisper. "S'pose you car
see who it is in the dark? Strike a
light. can't We? Ifyou had your way,
we'd both be murdered in bed. Going
to light up before we're killed."
"pm afraid" whispered Mrs,
spoopendyke, sticking one foot out OF
bed and hauling it in as if she had
caught a fish with it.
Going to sit there like shot tower
and have our thloats cut?" interrogated
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "How'm / going to
find burglar without a light! Find a
match and light that measly gas, now,
quick!'
Mrs Spoopendyke crawled out of
bed and hunted for A. skirt -.
What's the matter with you? Can't
you find match? Why don't YOU
moye?" hissed Mr.. spoopendyke.
81 am, as fast as I can," replied his
wife: her teeth chattering. "1'm look
ing for pin"
"Oh! you're moving like railroad,
amt ye? [ never saw anything fly like
you do. All you want is to be done up
IN white and blue papers to be a
seidliz powder. What dye want of a
pin? Going to stick pin in the burg
lan Why don't you light that gas?"
Mrs. Spoopendyke broke half q dozen
matches and finally got light.
"That's something like ii" continued
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Now hand me my
pantaloons.
lyon won't go down where they. are,
will you?' anxiously inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke, handing over the gar
ment e tas-
Mr.. Spoopendyke vouchsafed no re-
ply but donned the habiliments
"Now, you open the door," said he,
"and go to the head of the stairs and
ask who's there, while find my stick.
Hurry up, or they'll get away"
Suppose they are there. Whatll I
do them"
.'Tell 'em I'm coming. Go ask 'em,
will ye? What's the matter with your"
"Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the door
about an inch, squealed "Who's there?"
slammed the door again and popped
into bed.
"What ails ye2" demanded the hus-
band. "What dye think you are, any
way, a conical shot? Get up, can't ye,
and look out. Where's my big stickY
What have you done with it?" Sent it
to school, haven't ye! Go out and ask
who's there, will ye, before they come
up and slaughterus."
{ Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke ap-
preached the door and TREMENDOUSLY de-
what was going on-there was
no response, to her incalculable relief,
and she went to the head of the
stairs.
"see anybodyw whispered Mr.. spoo-
pendyke, looking over her shoulder.
"Who's there?" squealed Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke. $50 right away, because
my husband is here"
''Oh, you've done itv' exclaimed Mr..
Spoopendyke, as he hauled her back
into to the room. "Now, how dye
s'pose Pm going to catch 'em? What
do you want to scare 'em away for?
Whatd you say anything about me
for? Think this is nominating con-
vention? What made you leave the
house open? Come on down with me,
and I'll show you how to lock up"
Down they went and careful scrutiny
demonstrated that everything was fast.
II don't believe there was anybody
there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, rs they
returned to their chamber.
''It wasn't your fault" retorted Mr..
spoopendyke. "If yoa'd got up when
l told you and kept your mouth shut,
we'd have got EN-"
"But you said for me- 81
"Didn't say anything of the sort!"
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke--''never
your name. We might have
been killed, the way you went to
work"
II think we'd caught them if they'd
been there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
taking down her hair and proceeding
to put it up again.
ooh you'd caught 'em!' sneered Mr..
Spoopendyke. Cali you want is some
chloride of lime and your accoun s
short to be in the penitentiary. Another
time a burglar gets in the house, you
stay a-bed, and don't you wake me up
again. l won't have any dod gasted
woman routing me out this time Of
night, ye hear!'
"Yes, DEAR" and Mrs. Spoopcndyke
wound her hand in the collar ot her
liege lords night shirt and went to
sleep secure in his protection.