Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1880-04-08

1t is only the female sex wht
can rip, darn and tear withou
being considered profane. go.
Statisticians affirm that coun,
tries raising the most onions
have the fewest marriages.
The English plan in hanging
a man is to let him drop six feet
and take his chances. The
chances would be better if he
didn't drop at all
The Nation has an article en-
titled The last trace of the war" /"
1t must have belonged to the
harness of an artillery mule.
"A : jeweler advertises that he
has some precious stones to dis
pose of,adding that "they sparkle
like the tears Of a young Wild
ow." fnd o. .aaa t77ai'''eses ~
ssstj4 idsao. Csi-l ls a4pa -
81 In the midst of life some do
all the evil they can, and when
they die the papers tell lies about
them at the rate of fifty cents
per line. bssl faa iaa s
A minister who regards kiss
ing as an essential part of saving
grace, should kiss his lawfully
appointed wife, and tell her tc
pass it around among the con-
gregation. ,e.,,i 4 e3
If a bank officer would look
at a burglar with a bag of tools
as severely as he does at the
honest man with a small check,
many robberiies might be pre-
vented. ls9Il94 ha iEl.1.
In Kentucky when a mule
gets SO lazy that he won't work
more than nine or ten hours q
day, they trim his ears down
and sell him to some Chicago
man fora carriage horse. dii
4 a. so-calIed ''expert" in an
Ohio murder trial testified that
''any man holding opinions diff.
fering from those entertained
by a majority of people has in
him an element Of insanity"
A Maine political speaker men
toned somebody as q Shylock
and an auditor asked who Shy
Ilock was. ."If you don't know
the orator scornfully replied
'you'd better go home and read
your bible. 70 1'''l'Ai ~ - -
The child probably destined
to be the greatest American nat
uralist is already born. He live:
in Tennessee, and is tho author
! of the remark that ga jackass il
the only animal that winks Will
his ears"
The little one made a beauti'
ful answer without knowing it
"Whatr! kiss such a homely
man as papa 2" said the mother
| in fun. "Oh, but papa is rea
pretty in his heart, " was the
reply. .'''
/ Nothing will reassure q mar
quicker when he meets q sus-
picious-looking stranger in, 9
lonely street, and sees hin
reaching for his pistol Pecket
than to. see him pull out q )piecs
of plug tobacco instead tal.4
-"Wemen of the Bourse, /" said
a Paris stockbroker to his friend
"are much lcalumniated. l have
now been at the Bourse more
than ten years, and / never knew
of but two rascals that amounted
to anything" Sand who is thc
!other?" asked his friend. 99.
The shutters of a shop in Paris
were lately closed and the follow
ling blackboarded notice posteC
thereon. '1Closed ON account of
suicide. Will open Monday next
The afflicted widow will sell th'
stock at greatly reduced. prices
Look out for bargains.
This being leap-year, a boar
der at an uptown amateur hote
thought it fine fun to put ben
Ipin ON each vacant chair, unit
one agile feeder leaped up fouI
fleet into the air and came dow
! with his great unwashed hand n
Ethe onlyn bowl of hash in th'
lhouse. There was a famine un
til supper time. 1di @ f
81 .ikffffH fe.a. - fffqs.Tff 3
1 A young man who was mar
lried in Detroit six months ag'
has Joined in the discussion oi
family economy, but his littl
lcontribution is far from satisfac
TORY. at do not" he says, 'un
tdefstand how it is. l used t
/ figure it out, as / sat with M
arm round her waist on Sunda
nights, all it would then cost t
live would be $2.75 week, an
now / spend SIS and am hungr
half the time"
An article is going the round
! of the papers headed, aShoul
, Cousins Kiss?" and argumenr
are advanced to show that the
~ ,c+ WolI ., ,,ox.o,n,, W.