The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1880-03-27
WHIRS: WISE HND WIVYY.

WHlES: WINE nND hiffi-
In way of his own it is the smooth
bore that rifles your pockets.
The lion asks nobody to hold the
! plough when he takes his share.
The newest defining of "prcvarica-
ion y is. that it's fifty per cent of lie.
A hypocrite is a man who tries to he
| pinus and can't, with a preponderancc OF
can't.
A religion that won't spread over
more than one day in the week, is not
worth building a meeting house for.
Why could not the habits of the mos
,uito have been given to trout: Think
v the bites man could get, then.
The philosophy of dogs rlnln1
when a can is tied to his tail, instead OF
biting the string off, is not very clearly
understood.
1T is said that Tennyson, the poet,
sometimes spends hours on single line.
4 Nevada horse thief has been known to
10 the same thing.
Suggestion by the Danbury -F'T<.
When you have got through using your
| pnzzle>. give them to the poor. We must
set rid of the poor some way
-Longfellow' son is exhibiting in BoS-
tnn an allegorical painting called Tie
'hoice of YOUTH 1t is not said whether
it represents velocipede or a five cent
rigar.
Now that our best young men lave
hung their ulsters up for the Summer, an
opportunity is given to note the remark
able effect of a mild Winter on the growth
of legs.
A ply stefan told 4 Chicago man that
he could cure him Of his love for whisky,
nd the Mortified man at once notified
the doctor that he should employ another
medical adviser.
A gay rooster came tripping light
eantastic toes up to the occupant OF
,luiet nest and said: "Will yon dance.
1iddy % Excuse me, said the hen.
81 am engaged for this set
IF We are to live after death. Why
lnnt we have some certain knowledge
II ito" said a skeptic to Il clergy man.
Why don't you have some knowledge
# this world before you come into it
was the caustic reply.
l,,, T,x,v ,,nil,p ia lt1
perfidious lover: 81 amt got no brother,
md dads too old to fight, hut if you viii
lust take one of these here pistols and
step Oft Il few PAGES, I'll .iirc in the duct.
and misses won't count
A poor sailor. wrecked on an un-
known coast. wandered about i'll mo
mentary apprehension OF being seized 10y
savages when lie suddenly came i'll sight
of a gallows. All, thank God" said
he Pm in Il Christian country.
-Ari Johnson, an Icelandic youth. has
written iive-act tragedy with the ridic'-
lousy simple title of 'Sigriour EyNia-
fordarsal." We never thought Ari jon
son would have so fallen off from the
high standard of the learned doctor.
Lecture lazy boy rs much rs ,ou
will on the necessity of developing his
muscles Won cannot make saving wood
attractive He would rather be captain
of A niue in base ball society than to lie
of useful standing among the blessed.
When Jones was upbraided by Mrs.
J.. who said she was almost fright enct
to death, in the house all night alone,
Jones very placidly replied, "Don't see
as I'm to blame for your getting fright
ened. Didn't come within mile Of the
house.
A mean man put sixteen hornets IN
whisky bottle and gave it to a Texas
man in the dark to take drink ONT Of it
and, though the hornets got in thei! MOI X
as they went down. the Texan remarked
that it wasn't real Texas whisky. rs il
lacked fire.
Human nature is queeriy constituted.
The average man doesn't feel AZ bad
when he receives ten dollars too much
change as he does when he gets ten cents
too little. lie is more anxious To correct
the little mistake than he is Ia rrctitN
the big one.
A ghost was captured in 4 New En-
land village last month thrown over q
fence rail, and vigorously tl.faShcd. The
remarks of the spirit, while these pro
ceedinss were going on, are said Ia have
surpassed any language recorded in pre-
fame history.
My boys said kind Oil City
teacher, ''if You would lie Pre>ide,; ur
the United States. you must be good and
studious." "Who wants TO be Pvc>i-
dent" yelled out young chap from q
back seat. I'D ruthcr be Butler Bin
and shoot an Injun.'' And the hey, all
chorused. "Them's our sentiments.
1t is now ascertaiued that the nr.i-
nal game of Il is recorded on " Clrdje,-
tra's Needle and that her great sin
gle snake act " was performed under the
influence of an insane impulse, after sr,-
eral hours repeated efforts 70 get ,hc
IS on the right hand side of the y. 81.
There is nothing new under the sun.