The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-02-04
ZEPH PARKER'S STRATAGEM.

"Sleepy, baby-faced set O. people
Air they3 Baby-faced enough, you bet;
but l tell you, Stree, that believe they're
'beout born with all their eye-teeth cut
in their celestial jaws; and you've got to
get up airly, sir, if you want to take in
Chlnee!'
The speaker was a hard-faced, hollow
jawed gentlemen, in glossy black suit,
which fitted him very badly, and the re-
mark was made in the smoking-room of
the Continental. There he was to be
seen daily, and was supposed to have "giv
en- the speckylators fits in iles;" IN 9th.
er words he was believed to have made q
fortune in petroleum. At all events he
had plenty of money, and was very gen.
erous in the spending of it.
The conversation had turned on the
vexed Chinese question, and he had
struck on the discussion.
II reck 'lect,' he said, Their was Zeph
Parker. he was deep 'un, was Zeph
He was long % me and few more mp to
Nevada, JUS 'beout the time of the silver
craze. The boys had been washing for
gold; honest like, meow gittin' it out o.
pockets, meow outer the stream; and
when they had done with bit o. wash
dirt, and gone off to another claim, Mis-
ter Washee Washee Chinee would come
over and go over the dirt after them, and
be satisfied with what he got. All on us
goes off and loses all we'd made in gold
gifts no silver, and comes back disappint.
ed to try after the gold again.
"Guess we might try, and try again
but no good could we get. and all 'beout
us was them smooth-faced, pig-tailed
Cinnamon, gittin' on prosperous and
contented.
"'I tell yew,' said Zeph, Il shall 60
can't stand it much longerP
"This here was in our bit of a tent
where we we're tryin' to make ourselves
happy, playin' poker on credit, and keep
in no account.
"'What for2" I SEE.
"'What torp cries Zeph. Dew yew
think that I, an enlightened sitterzen Of
free country, am gwine to set down
and be robbed o. my mess O. COLDER
pottage by pack o. smllin,' washer
women-faced, opium. smokln,' celestia
Jacobs2 No, Stree, this dogs gwine t.
bitel' ...
"But I don't kinder see what this dog'
gwine to bite fur SCI. ''Teapot ain
done nuthin' to you.
"'1lateys, SEE Zeph, getting on tn
barrel as had been his seat, things ha
come to a purity pass with US, heven'
they9'
"'Right, old hoss,' seq some one, ham
merin' the chest lid as had been our ia
BILE. ...,
"'Haz any man here got any tobacco
"'Nop
"'Haz any man here got any old Bu'
bon whlskya'
"'Nop
"'Haz auy man got any dusta'
"'Nop
"'Any -four, or pork, or boots, or ne
blanketsl" ..
"'No, no, no, nop' -....
"'Then them Chimes haz,' continue
Zeph; sand what I SEE is this-as it is
sin and q shame to let pack of heather
ish cusses like them teapots as never go'
to churches nor listens To parsons
"'I say, Zeph,' sez some one, 'whe
did you go to meetln' lasts'
Never you mind SEE Zeth, 'a1
don't interrupt a man as wants to gi
you suthin' to eat. A set O. cusses, sc
as never goes to meetin', and b'lieves
nuthin' but joss-houses. say, it's g
to let 'em be gittln' fat on our Ian
while we're as thin and starved looki
as-as as
"'As ole Zeth Parker himself seq Tt
Paggins.
"'Wal, ez thin ez I am, if you like s
Zeph.
This is all very purity, Il SEE, but
can't 60 and take claim from the t.
pots, Zeph: nor We can't rush 'em, a
annex the dust and nuggets they've Wa
ed out"
"'No,' sed Zeph, winkin' one eye; 4
we kin stragetise 'em.'
"'How9' seq. I" Don't kinder see
They're too deep to be done.'
"'Yahr seq Zeph, 'they's beout ez d.
ez two-cent plate. Give me the me
and LII sell the lot, and put a good pc
etful o. dollars or dust in every ma
pocket-six on usr
"'But what means d. yer want2'
"sOne handful O. DUST seq Zeph.