The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1880-11-16

now rwo poLITicAL SPEAKERS GOT INTO THE
WRONG MEETINGS.


WRONG MEETINGS.
Tssn Francisco PostJ
The following good joke, IN which
worthy member OF the bar, Judge f., flg.
ures, IL worthy OF space. II IL a tale Of
watts's tract, a suburb OF Oakland, OF POI
!itical meetings, OF disguised speakers, and
enrseed audiences. The political caldron
Of Watts's tract had for weeks been boiling
over. Meetings. had been held nightly, and
the best Of local speakers had tried to en-
tighten The intelligent people of the tract.
The success OF Democrats aud Republicans
alike was 80 dubious that both parties, by
singular coincidence, resolved to hold a
grand msss.meeting, appointing the same
evening. and both parties called ON the
State Central Committee 10 this city 10 5, nd
them over an orator.
The meetings were act for Wednesday
evening last. At an early hour on that eve
ming Judge f., who bad consented TO speak
at the tract, boarded ferry steamer, as did
also noted Republican orstor. The Judge
had been cautioned by the Democratic COM
mi,tcc 10 draw II mild. as the Republicans
Of the tract were weakening. and II their
psrty was uotsabused too much they could
be won over. The Republican orator had
also been warned that the party over there
needed brscing up, and that the Demo-
cracy must be denounced In unmeasured
terms. Wstts's tract was reached In due
time. and the politicians separated, the Re-
publican 10 seek his party's gathering and
Judge r. TO lind the Democratic wigwam.
This was, as he supposed, soon found. The
hall was blazing with lights, while In front
bon6res glared, and band Of music aided
in making night bideous. In walked Judge
f., introduced himself as the speaker from
the State Central Committee, and was 10
turn presented 10 the audience as the ora.
tor Of the evening.
After the applause had subsidized, Judge
+. cleared bis voice and began. lie spoke
not too abusIveIy OF "tbe infamous course
Of the Republicans" and finally rounded a
sentence with grand peroratiOn to the
Democracy. Then be paused for breath
and for applause. But, oh, amaZement!
There was not the slightest expression Of
satisfaction-not a single cheer was heard.
Iustead, dozen auditors arose, pulled up
their coat collars, put on their hats, and
left. Again and again did the Judge at
Tempt 10 fire the hearts Of those be.
lore him, and on each occasion did |
small groups get up and meander sadly and |
silently out of the ball. Finally, with but |
!, handful OF spectators before him, he |
,Iosed the most discDuraging effort Of his |
life with scaihing denuncIation Of the Re- |
DubIicans, and an appeal 10 all to join the |
Democracy. The effect OF this, although |
magical, was far different from t0at expect.
ID. Up rose the remnant Of the audience |
md swarmed upon the platform with indig-
,ant faces, while the chairman, with ill.,
lnA "a
demanded OF the speaker IL he had ever
poken III San Francisco?
"Oh, yes, very often" was the response
II The wondering Judge. "Why do you
SIX ?" "And have you expressed the same
opinions given this EVENING"" Yes,
IT," again responded the orator. "And
we're They well received?" "Always; but
oek here, what's the meaning of this ?" de:
handed the now indignant Judge. "Mean-
NJ! The meaning Is thet, in the opinions
be bay baye got politics that we ever
card OIL" "Me Republican :" fairly
e!ed the Judge; and tben realizing for
he irst time that be bad made mistake,
nd had been addressing q Republican
altering. the eloquent orator seized his
at, and without waiting TO explain matters
|
umiDg orator again encountered bis Re-
ublican friend; but oh, what a contrast the
cure before him-w hich looked as IL it
sd been run through quartz milI-pre-
ented TO the geDtlemanly- Cooking orator of
n hour beforel His story was piliful
ne.
"You see, Judge" said he, "when left
on found my way to what | supposed
las Republican meeting. ] was intro
uced and mounted tie platform, and
pened up by pouring broadside into the
nterriied Democracy and the solid South.
did not notice signs of the gathering storm
} The faces before me, OF. might have
syed myself. When finished my opening
urst OF eloquence shout arose from hun
red throats, and then there was rush for
De platform. and | was seized by dozen
zen, tue window was thrown up, and felt
lyseif shot out into the air, and knew no.
hing more until came to in the branches
tall oak, into which bad miraculously
IlIen. Talk about the turbulent Democracy
nd the quarrelsome workingmcn; all
ave to say il this, Judge, that them Watts's
act Republicans beat them ALL"
The Judge softly smiled, wiuked to him.
III, and then hypoci itically offered condo
nee, but very wisely kept his counsel.