The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-08-12
sPooPENDYKE's BATHING SUIT.


sPOoPENDYKE'S BATHING SUIT.
my dear" observed Mr. Spoopendyke looking
up from his paper, II think would be greatly
benefited this summer by sea baths Bathing in
the surf is an excellent tonic, and II you will
make me up suit and one for yourself u yJu
like, we'll go down and often take dip in the
waves"
"The very thing" smiled Mrs. spoopendyke,
you certainly need something to tone you up
and there's nothing like salt water think I'll
make mine of blue flannel, and, let me see, yours
ought to be red my dear"
II don't think you caught the exact drift Of my
remark" retorted Mr.. SpoOpendy ke, II didn't
say was going into the opera business, or that
was going to hire out to some country village as
conhagraton. My plan was 10 go In swimming,
ard not grow up with the country as cremation
furnace. You can make yours Of blue II you
want 1t, but you don't make mine Of red, that's
ALL"
There's very pretty shade Of yellow flannel
-"
Most indubitRbly, Mrs spoopendyke, but If
you think I'm going to masquerade around Man
haitian Beach in the capacity Of a ham, you hav
Ou Jot bClAOu my luGh uOu hppIGubuu luht
l shall benefit by the waters any more by going
around looking like Santa Cruz rum barrel.
What want is bathing suit, and II you cant
get up one without making me look like Fulton
street car, I'll go and buy something to suit
me-"
Would you want 1t all In one piece or do you
want pants and blouse2"
81 want suit easy toget In and outof. I'm not
particular about following the fashion, Make up
something neat, plain and substantial but don't
stick any fancy cOlors into 1t. want 1t modest
and serviceable"
Mrs. Spoopendyke made up the suit under the
guidance of lady friend whose aunt had told
her how 1t should be constructed. II was in one
piece, and when completed was rather startling
garment,
"I'll try 1t on o.night" said Mr.. spoopendyke
eyeing it askanCe when 1t was handed him.
Before retiring Mr., spoOpendyke examined the
suit, and then began to get into It,
why did It you make some legs to III Why
dye want to make 1t all arms fol?' he inquired,
struggling around to see why 1t didn't come up
behind.
You've got 1t on sideways" exclaimed Mrs.
spoopendyke. you've got one leg into the
sleeve"
"IVe got to get 1t on aideways There amt any
top to it, don't you know enough to put up the
arms where they belong2 What dye think
am anyhow star fish, Where does this leg go
tor
Right in there. There's the place for that
leg"
"Then where's the leg thatgOes into this other
holeH"
why, the other leg."
1.-THE measly thing is all legs Who'd you make
this thing for, meR Whatd ye take me for, a cen.
tipede2 Who else is going to get In here with mei
1 want somebody else. l amt twins, can't fill
this business up. What dye call it, anyway, a
family machine2"
"These other places amt legs, they're sleeves u
what are they doing down there? Why ain'
they up here where they belong' What are they
here for snow shoes2 s'pose I'm going to stand
on my head to get my arms in those holOsF
Il don't think you've got 1t on right" suggestet
Mrs, SpOopendyke. 1T looks twisted"
That's the way you told me, You said, pu
this leg here and that one there, and they are
there, Now, then, where does the rest OF mt
go2'
maui ~ dCCOAuluB w tuS phttOAhi piBuCN
Mrs. SpoOpendyke.
"Then it's all right, and it's me that's twisted
sneered Mr.. Spoopendyke, II Il have my arm
and legs altered. All want is to have my leg
jammed In the small of my back and my arm
stuck in my hips then it'll fit. What did you tax
s for pattern, crab2 Whered you fnd the lob
ster you made this from2 spose I'm going int
the water on all four,? 1 told you wanted
bathing suit, didn't II Did say anything aboU
a chair covert"
II think II you take 1t off and try 1t on owe
again 1t will work." reasoned Mrs. Spoopen
dyke.
Mr.. spoopendyke went at 1t again, and revers
" ed the original order Of disposing Of his limbs
suit you now2' he howled. THAT the wa
you meant it to go? What's these things hoppin
around hereH"
"Those are the legs I'm afraid" said Mr.
spoopendyke, defectedly.
n what are they doing up here' I see; ohII Sc
this is supposed to represent me making a div
When get this on I'm going head first. Where
'' the balance7 Where's the resa Give me the su
that represents me head up" and Mr. spoopel
l. dyke danced around the room In fury.
"Just turn 1t over, my dear" said Mrs, Spoope
es dyke, land you are all right"
"How'm l going to turn 1t over" yelled N
=, spoopendyke. "s'pose I'm going to carry arour
~ steam boiler to turn nae over when l want Il
other end Of this thing upR s'pose I'm going
C. hire man to go around with a griddle spoon al
turn me over like hapiack to please this d.
lis gasted bathing suit2 Dye think work on pi
ots2'
"Just take 1t off and put 1t on the other way"
= Mr.. spoopendyke kicked the structure up to t
ceiling and plunged into 1t once more. This til
u 1t came out all right and as he butoned 1t up a.
surveyed himself in the glass, the clouds pass
ed away and he smiled.
'T like it," he remarked; "the color suits n
70. and think you have done very well my dea
and he frowned slightly. II wish you wou
% mark the arms and legs so can distinguish O
from the other or some day will present
startling spectacle of respectable elderly gent
io' man hopping around the beach up side doV
That's all."-Brooklyn Eagle,