Morning journal and courier., 1880-06-14


 The frog is an emblem of hope; he is eter- nally springing. .-Hackensack Republican.
 No, ma'am," said the grocer to an appli- cant for credit, 'I wouldn't trust my own feelings D
 A St. Louis lady who was graduated at Vassar tried to send @ bandbox by telegraph the other day.
 The man who is curious to see how the world could get along without him can find out by sticking a canlbric needle into millpond and then withdrawing 1t and look ing at the hole.
 Some men are not towards, but they're afraid, that's all. A New York man on his death bed spoke in whispers for fear of walk ing up his wife, who slept in the next room. N. Y. Express.
 At recent picnic, when it was discovered that the croquet arches had been forgotten, a wicked girl suggested supplying their places with the two bow-legged young men present. Philadelphia Chronicle
 After all, it is perhaps well that the cleo tric light has proved failure Its general introduction would prevent the flies from going to roost at shutdown, and thus bald headed men would enjoy no rest-Philadel- phia Chronicle-Herald.
 Scene A hotel bar number of persons taking refreshments time, 10 p. m. Heavy ''swell" (to a customer of the house) q think I have seen you before your face seems quite familiar to me-" Customer : Very likely, sir. I was long sheriffs off, cer,'' Swell" eollapses.
 Tell me, ye winds that round my pathway roar. Do you not know some spot in Cheyenne where dustn The loud winds dwinded to whisper low, And sighed for pity as they answered 'We dust not know"
 Cheyenne Sun Poet.
 At a camp meeting last summer a venera- ble sister began the hymn
 sSMy soul, be thy guard {;
 Ten thousand foes arise'' She began too high. s"Ten thousand she screeched and stopped "Start her at five thousand :" cried converted stock broker present.
 Goods at half price, " said the sign. ''How much is that teapot ?' asked the old lady who had been attracted by the announcement Fifty cents, num-" q guess I'll take it. then, D she said, throwing down a quarter The dealer let her have the teapot but took in his sign before another customer could come in.-Boston Transcript.
 Chowder got good dinner at home a few days ago by telling his wife that he was go- ing to bring judge home with him to that meal When he arrived, alone, and Mrs. Chowder asked him where the judge was, he triunphantly pointed to himself remark ing: "Pm good judge of a dinner. He will be obliged to get a dinner in some other way hereafter.
 There are funereal ministers gentlemen who carry around with them an air of pro fessional solemnity; they carry it even in their hat bands and pocket handkerchiefs, and look continually as if genteely laid out in their coffins. There was minister of this sort called on to marry young couple. He stretched out his hands and unconsciously began the burial service ''Sir," spoke up the young man, five came to be welded, not buried!' To which the gentleman of the cloth responded 'It wont be many years before you'll wish you had been buried"
 Two urchins sitting on doorstep with their slates in their laps were heard by pass er-by saying ''Two from one, and one re- mains." He at once challenged them with ''I'll give you a sixpence if you can prove that, my boys" They took him at his word and into a kitchen where their mother sat nursing twins. In @ moment each boy had baby in his arms, and was pointing at the wondering matron as proof that their novel arithmetical proposition was correct. They had taken two from one and one remained and honestly won the reward. know he's old bachelor, horrid, grumpy thing, A nasty, spiteful cross-grained, ugly fright wsh John, that such callers to your wife you would
 not bring
 Why do think him single ]? Why? Oh, John I'll
 have fit,
 Did you not hear, you stupid, you? He called dear
 baby ssit."