The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1880-01-11
CURRENT HUM0R.

''Show him an egg and Instantly the air is
full Of feathers said Col. Ingersoll. defining
a sanaulne man.
The man who never sfnelt powder is the
fellow who never held his nose close to O wo-
mau's Observation-Disclosures Chronicle.
All u~niet'on the Gareslonoscogglns New
York Commercial Advertiser. And also on
the Blainebee.-tNew Haven Register.
IT Won have a pretty daughter you will have
n brain full of anxiety. and n house. iull of
scented note paper.-tNew York News.
Tailor Ito stout cuetomer)-"Haye the kind
ness to put your finger on this htt ol tape,
sir-inst here: I'll be round In q minute"
Gloves OF yellow dogskin are fashionable
FOR gentlemen's street wear. The yellow dog
IA good for something at last Boston
Globe.
paraon -"Rather drowsv weather, this,
Farmer Jones'" Farmer ia ye. parson,
so VI be; minds one o sermon time, don't itp'
Fun.
"Mfnnie, | Wish you would NOT give milk to
your kitten on the carpet" Minnie-"Don't
disturb her. Shells on her last lap."-[Com-
meroial Advertiser.
A small boy never Wishes he was twins ex-
cept when two different Sunday school Christ
mas trees are being held tho same evening
Marathon Independent.
A writer on fruit, in tho Detroit Frec PRISE,
says. II will recommend the Duchess Of Old
enburg, hat when | wns n young planter |
was partial to the Malden's Blush"
"Another statesman gomez But don't
grieve. He has merely gone around the cor
nef tn get a glass containing n little water
and-so-forth. He'll come back.-INorrlstown
Herald.
nephew home for the hoiidays1: "Glad to SEQ
You home again, Dick. Hope yN1 have spent
less this half." Dick "Oh. vea, uncle; Two
gone tick for everything p'-ILondon Punch.
The n,eo young man. observeth the 81
mira ~finsette. "saveth his money for next
Fourth of July. but the foolish one taketh
his girl ont sleigh riding, and pays s. for the
privilege OF freezing to death q couple Of
hours"
Once when ELI Perkins, the great untrnth-
fni, was on n lecture tour, he Ind to sleep
with n man named Lamb, and. as they went
Off to bed. the witty hotel clerk remarked,
"The Lamb and the lyin' shall He down to-
gethef."- ISteubenvllle Herald.
Miss Margoe, of Port Jervis. was offered
5000 by mn old farmer living near that place
" she would marry him. She refused the
off'r. but finally accepted II when he mada
the amount pn even Thousand. The same old
story-money makes the Margoe. Waterloo
Observer.
'tIf YOU marry Grnce,'' exclaimed an Irate
father to his sott. II will cut you off without
II cent, and You won't have So much as u
pieces of pork 10 boil In the pot" well. r..
piled tho young man. "Grace before ment !"
and he immediately went In snnrfh or q min-
ister@ICipoinnatl Saturday Night.
. loves sat benenth tho shade.
hnd 1 una tho other sHid: M"
How "a & that YOU hea
HIVE smiled upon this suit Of mine;
If + n heart II pa'ua for YOU
Thy v Ice ts niue melody
tFis 7 To ha Inv lovof I, a
Sav, oy nYmph. wilt marry me r
Then lisped she soft: Why, igtyi"
When Hermann, tho magician. visited Con
s%tantinople. he induced the Grand Vizier to
throw his watch overheard In tho |i'osphorus.
aud then he took u rod and line. caught q fine
flsh md took tho watch from It's nav. But
when n Brooklyn man. desiring TO perform
the satue trick. asked nh acquaintance to shy
his watch into tho dock. the man replied
"D'ye take me for n durn fool p and walked
Off.
The other evening Mrs. Nleklepinoh read
the following news Item. "A man In Dutch
Fiat, CaI.. picked ~ u stone the other day TO
throw ut n COW. The weight of 1t attracted
his attention. and on examination u was found
to contain more than u 500 worth Of gold
THAT'S Just the way said NiCklepineh;
"everything That some men touch turns to
gold. If ! had picked M that stone to throw
at u COW II would have been nothing more
nor less than 4 stone. md very likely 1t would
have bit her behind the enr and killed her as
dead aa Julius Gar sar. Then | would have
had to pay ST5. or have been sent to jail.
What's tho use Of living. anyhow"