The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1880-02-25
CURRENT IIUMOR.

A Dayton man soaked rat In kerosene,
lRnIted 1t. and then 1t got away from him. No
insurance.
A fond mother In LeadvllIe speaks OF her
late son ms having been born In Michigan but
raised In Colorado. Tho vigilance committee
raised him.
Soldiers must he fsarIuly dishonest" said
Mrs Pnrtlngton; 1T sscms to be IN occur
renee every night for q sentry to be relieved
Of his watch"
Tho principal beauty ~ the Mormon re-
liRion Is TINT the Same woman doesn't have
to get up first the entire winter to build the
kitchen fire.
What mean NIL these haIrbrendth escapes oT
the Gar OF all the tussihs DO they portend
. Starring tour through tho United States2~-
Hoston Transcript
Why is n stout lnRsr beer iiapanser who.
unfortunately. Is given 10 boating his wife,
lllte popular somic opern2 Give It up, Be-
cause he's int and hits her.
Tho administration hasn't been using the
ships OF the nation navy for private jnnket-
ing expeditions. They va found ont that the
ships are rotten and dangerous.
A recent LeadvIile funeral was ended with
a dance. and some OF ths more conservative
people OF tte city think 1t was verging o. bad
taste to haze danes during Lent.
A coroner'a jury in Vermont didn't think 1t
would look jest all right to shy that u citizen
wna found dead In his bnrnynrd. and 40 the,
verdict was: Visited by stroke OF Provi-
lence whila hsching ,sp his tenm to carry
rutabngaa to market Detroit Free Press.
Mr. Gallagher hns got even with the two
maiden Indies over the way who always
watch him. when he comes homo Mt night to
see II he has trouble In finding the key-hOls.
He chupknd ha raother- iu-law out Of n back
instcnd of n front window, 80 those old crit
ters co.,ln't see tho transaction, and there
fore lost tho fun Of talking about 1t.
Two men in a keokuk barbsr's shop. wait
Ing 70 have their hair cut, fought TO decide
which was next" and by the time they not
through they didn't elthnr Ut them have hatT
enough left tD bs worth clipping, and had
broke all the bnrbnr'e tools and furniture SO
he couldn't serve sig other Customers and
the bnrber Is almost as mad about It as tho
COmbatMnts are.
A short time ago n little boy went with bis
father to see colt. He pntted the colt
hehd md made quite fuss over 1t. until
finally tho stnbleman told him to be- careful
him. When the little chap went home his
mother asked him what he thought about the
colt. II IIks him pretty we'll, was tho reply.
Hes real tams In tho front. but he's awful
wild behind"
A passenger In n crowded street car tho
other day observed the entrance Of q man fol-
lowed by nm old woman, and seel1.g that she
looked tired and weak, he cOnst'eratry rose
and offered her his seat Befo"r she could
take It. however. the man had quietly filed
the vacancy. "flsre. just come out OF that"
said the passengsr: II didn't give up my
seat to you. but to u lady" To which the
fellow replied. without Offering to move,
ooh, yah! dot is all rl9ht-dot lsdy Is mein
vife"i
Little Edith. who has heard her mamma
speak of bllRhted affections Mamma, and
yon think II u person Is really md truly In
love- 1t would be wicked to deprive her OF the
object Of her affectionsY' Mamma: "Why,
certainly, Edith dear but where In the world
did you learn Nil that" Edith II heard you
tell ~ to Mrs. Jingleiaw to-day. And mann
ma, I'm awfully III love with that loaf OF cake
in the cupboard" It IL needless 10 say that
Edith and the object Of her affections were
Immediately united.