The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-07-17
Trying to Drive II Hen.

| anywhcre2 II not, then never say "Whcre
| there's will there's way" or CAN things
! are possible to him who Observes, because
you don't know anything about it.
Driving hen properly, and dccorously,
| and successfully, requires more skill than
capturing a herd of buffalo.
The hen you want to drive is always a
strong-mindcd hen. If she had bceu a
woman she would have wanted the ballot
long ago, and her husband would have had
to keep quiet when she got set' on any,
thing. But being only hen, all shc can
Go is TO cackle, and be contrary, and thwart
you at every turn.
If you want her to 60 in somewhere she'll
be sure to want to 60 out, and vice versa.
You want TO drive her most when she gets
out OF the coop, and gets into your garden,
to the total destruction Of your pet bulbs,
and roots, and seeds, and everything else.
One smart, active hen will do more harm
in one hour than q COW would in half a
| day.
A hen is born with an instinct to get ut
the root OF tho matter, and she follows out
hor nature.
When your hen gets out Of confinement
she makes straight for your choicest flower
bed, and she stays there for an hour before
| ;
! dug out everything that you cared anything
about, and has buried herself up all but her
head, and there she lies in the sun with
happiness and triumph in her speaking
| countenancc.
How mad you are You feel rs if you
could sever her joints and make her into a
pot-pie with will-no matter if she is one
| of the trio that cost $40.
l Gov
out ''shoo!" at her, and flourish your apron,
and make wild gestures in her direction
and call your husband, and the children,
and the hired girl, to help drive her into
! her quarters.
Now, 1t is never any use to call man to
| help drive hen. We arc willing to admit
that the lords of creation can do quantities
| OF things that the weaker Sex cannot, but
there is one thing man can never do-and
that is drive hen.
He'll break the rake. handle, and get
hung in the clothcs-linc, and lose his hat,
and fall down over the croquct wlckots,
and burst of two or three of his auspender
buttons, and tho hen will fly up on the top
OF the barn, or take refuge in the tallcst
tree on the premises. and there ahe will
stay and laugh Mt HIM until she is ready to
como down. And all the men in creation
cannot drive her down, for she knows that
she has got things her own way
| Your hen that you are going to drive
generally cackles all the time you arc try
ing to drive her. 1t gives her courage,
perhaps, to defy you. It is like the music
of martial band when the troops arc
marching into battle. 1t is as inspiring as
the strains of "Yankce Doodle" to the hens
| ear. You try pentlcncss frat
''Shoo, bddyl shoe, biddyl shoe, thereI"
and she plunges off III the direction con-
trary to the one you wish her to go IN; and
then you draw of your forces and execute
flank movement, and "pen' her up, but
presto! just as you think you have got her,
she squats and gives scoot right out under
your skirts, and away she goes free as air.
Then you get some corn and try and bribc
her. Oh, no, she doesn't want any corn,
thank you. She is above bribery. She
doesn't take any stock in your ''chicky !
: chicky! chickyl" delivered in your most
cajoling of voices. Still she cacklcs All
the rooslers cackle, too, evidently ticklcd
with her spunk. A few hens who are ioi
curious Join in. All the neighbors will
be looking out to see "what on earth are
you making them hens screcch 80 for"
Your husband gets a pole and makes a
dive for that hen. He'll fix her cacklc for
her, he says; she'll 60 INTO that hcn-housc
or he'll know the reasonl
And by the time he has chased hor all
over the premises, and torn his pants, and
knocked piece of skin off his hand, and
run over little Charley, he does not find
out the reason. 1t is because she Is not of
mind to 90 into that hen n-house.
And he says that hens are a nuisance,
and that hell kill the whole of 'cm, and he
wishes there never had been one invent
cd.
BY this time you are tired of his help,
and you request him to go away and you'll
drive that hen.
Then you begin, and the hen begins too.
She flies over tho fence, and up Oh neigh
boris woodshcd, and down into somebody's
pig-pcn, and the pig takes after her with O
vim, and she flies out with screecbA and
runs under the barn, and thcro she stays
till night and then if you will leave open
your Acn.house door she will find her way
thither, as meek AMI innocent looking a.
you plcase--for "chickens and curses come
home to roost."