The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-09-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

Why don't they have an examina-
ton in color blindness at West Point.
-Ph,tadelphta Bulletin.
Well, now, the question is, VIII
West Point cadet lie, or won't he? 1t
is generally feared that he w.
Ha,oheye.
The boston Commercial Bullct.n in
forms us that the King of Oilymargar-
ine-George, of Grecce-is visiting
Paris.
A Friend-No, we are not going to
Europe this summer. Our congrcga-
tion cannot afford it.
There arc three men in Jail at Ozark,
Ark, charged with murder. The re-
markable thing about this case is that
the men are in Jail.
So many of Lorillard's horses have
been scratched i'll England that one is
lead to think they have been running
for ot1ice.-Ne,o Orleans Picayune.
A line in Welsh poem reads: s'Mi
ganat chwi ganu am fy rwyth Pete"
We advise Pete to do nothing of the
kind. 1t would be injudicious.
The Chicago hotel-clerk looks at
the papers hastily in the morning, and
not seeing any notice of his scarfpin,
believes that the dark horse will be
the candidate.
81 like hot weather BEST" said a
Philadelphia girl, "because it makes
pa and ma so sleepy that they don't
come bothering around the parlor the
nights have male company"
Census takers were paid by the num-
Der of names they collected, and sew
eral men declined the job i'll the town
where AlvaradO Buoncompagni and
Higalmar Zahrieskowatschiyer re-
side.
Mark Twain, speaking of new
J mosquito-netting, writes: "The day
is coming when we shall sit under our
nets i'll church and slumber peacefully
while the discounted flies club to-
eethcr and take it out OF the minis
ter"
Barnum has sworn his circus is
| worth only $6O, 1000, but even that is IL
good price. We've seen circusscs that
weren't worth two cents. Besides,
you must bear i'll mind that Barnum
was laboring under the excitement OF
talking to u tax collector.
The shooting gallery men are doing
| a Door business. They might work
up u little trade at five cents throw
ii they would put up u stuffed cat OH
a practicable garden- wall and allow
customers to throw boot-jacks at the
offending object. '..
"Philadclphia is happy" says Puck,
because 1.-The eyes of the world have
been ON her for a week and she has
beaten New York in having n railroad
crash" Dressing in crash, and hav-
ing the eyes OF the world on her while
she f1irts. The dizzy jade.
In certain Irish cathedral to this
day are shown three skulls, one little
one and two big ones, which the guide
describes to visitors as the skull OF St
Patrick when he was a child, the
skull of st. Patrick grown up, and the
skull of st. Patrick as an old man.
An excellent old deacon. who hav-
ing won a fine turkey at q charity
grab bay rattle, didn't like to tell hi.
severe orthodox wife how he came by
it. quietly remarked, as he hande ed
over the fowl, that the Shakers gave
it TO him. fH
A gang of burglars were burglins
at Long Island the other day, and stole
a set of Appletons' Cyclopcdia. This
shows that there is commendable
thirst for knowledge among this clas:
of night workers that has hitherto
been unsupported. No doubt thest
cracksmen came from Boston. Whel
an cnterprising burglar isn't burglins
he likes to lie basking in the sun
with the Cyclopcdia volumes him ell
circling, to read the books all owe
one by one.