River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-05-06
HunlOr.

An Illinois race-horse is named Chi
cago Girl. OF course it is very FAST
Boston Post.
Danbury Ne,os: "Every year the
winter grows milder. The time will
come when sleighs will be fitted with
mosquito-nets."
Here is spring again, and how to
come out in a brand new suit without
spending any money is a problem that
knocks most young men dizzy.
The editor of the New York Herald
justly observes that man can live on
music and poetry until he is married,
but after that ne must be fed regular
ly or ne will make music of another
kind.
Albany is the city where an alder
man, when resolution was offered to
purchase twelve gondolas for the park
lake, moved to amend by making the
number two, male and female, and
trust to Providence and the future for
the balance.
what do you ask for that article? p
asked an old gentleman of 81 pretty
shop girl, give dollars" "Ain't you
a little dear?" "Why," she replied, "all
the young men tell me So" The old
gentleman looked as if he thought he
had been misunderstood.
| The Detroit Free Press talks about "a
hen at will loaf around on top of a
nestful of eggs for the best part OF a
month";" If the Free Press man thinks
it's merely fun to sit ON dozen of eggs,
let HIM try it once.
When the young and tender schoolgirl isn't
thinking,
| lent thinking,
VI the time when she VIII De a. allowed 10 VOTE
The chances are that she is coyly blinking,
| Coyly blinking,
At some young man in a zebra owe. coat,
-New Haven Register.
4 court in Richmond, Va, has char
tered a colored society known as the
Sons and Daughters, Brothers and Sis
tiers, Cousins and Aunts of Moses. 1t is
an active rival of the United Order OF
the Sons and Daughters of the Four and
Twenty Elders.
| The most absent-minded man was
not the man who hunted for his pipe
when it was between his teeth, nor the
one who threw his hat out of the win
dow and tried to hang his cigar on a
peg; mol but the man who put his UNI
| brella to bed and went and stood behind
the door.
Young Gent. might I ask you,
miss-ah-" Miss. Very sorry, sir,
but I'm engaged for the next three
Dances" Y.G. at is not dancing
ah-it is-it's-beg your pardon, miss;
| - - e,t+,,.cv or ~ hot -
Not long ago, in the court of appeals
an Irish lawyer, while arguing with
earnestness of his cause. stated point
which the court ruled out. swell,
said the attorney, 'if it place the court
if am wrong in this, | have another
point equally ~ conclusive"
"Why do you look back?" asks Hen
ry Ward Beecher. We don't know
why you look back, Mr.. Beecher, but q
woman looks back to catch a second
glimpse of that horrid setting basque
worn by the other woman. And dc
you know, Mr.. Beecher, the other wo
man has also looked back to catch q
glimpse of the first woman's ridiculou;
hat, end there they are, face to face
Then they turn up their noses at each
other, Mr.. Beecner, ana pass on.
A story is told of General Butler;
sarcastic retort upon Massachusetts,
Judge, whom he was teasing for a rul
ing favorable to cause he was defend
ing in court. The Judge got out of pa
thence at last, and somewhat testify Elk
claimed: "Mr. Butler. what do yor
think / sit here fol?' The Genera
quietly shrugged his shoulders and re
phed: "The court has got me now"
It was proposed to erect monumen
in the village square to the Father o
His Country, and old Squire Higgins
was called upon for liberal donation
II can't give anything this time" 81
said. "but you may know / always car
~ Washington in my heart" well,
answered the man with the subscription
paper, call / can say is that you hav'