The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-06-03

York he was presented with q check IS,
ZIG. 600! We leave the reader ;to adorn
the tale and point the moral regarding
these medical men and their patients.
BANKS BABIES.
! was detained over Sunday IN Barns
bury, and on Sunday morning / resolved
to go to church. The first church I came
to, small frame structure with wood
en- steeple, had the doors and windows
tightly shut, but there was man; on the
front steps whiting . stick, and I said
to him: 81,
Are you connected with this church?''
Yes, he said, Tn the sexton. .
9 What is it closed for?''
well, mostly on account Of Banks
babies. !" 3.5s NE 7 1906
s Babies?''
Sit down, and I'll tell you about it.
You know Banks; he come to this town
to live q few weeks ago, perfect
stranger, and he rented pew in this
church. It seems that Banks had three
little bits of babies, triplets, not more'n
2 months old, and then, besides these.
he had twins about year old. So no.
body knew about the babies, but Banks
wanted to have the little darlngs bap-
tized, and he allowed to Mrs. Banks that
to rush the whole five babies into church
on one Sunday morning might excite re-
mark, you understand. So he settled
that he'd have 'em christened gradually.
50 to speak. Accordingly, the next Sun
day he fetched little Jimmy, one Of the
triplets, and all went off well enough.
On the followin' Sunday he came a
promenadin' up the aisle with George
Washington, another triplet, and Dr.
Binns, our preacher, he fixed him up all
right. People thought it was queer, but
when, on the next Sunday mornin',
Banks and his wife come into church
with another baby, William Henry, cry
ing like q Pawnee ar-whoop, some Of
the folks couldn't help snickerin'.
sHowsomdever nobody complained.
and all might have been well il Banks
hadn't come along the Sunday after with
Elijah Hunsiker Banks, one of the twins.
Everybody laughed, and Mr.. and Mrs.
Banks they were furious mad as any
thing, you know !; and when Elijah Hun
skier Banks hauled of, accidentally.
with his hand, and hit DR.. Binns, who
was holding him during the ceremony, q
whack in the face, and the doctor
dropped him in the water, the congrega-
ton just fairly roared with laughter.
Mrs. Banks turned as red as fire. and
looked as if she would like to murder
somebody.
"Well, you know, we all thought this
was the last, and public feeling kinder
simmered down on toward the end Of
the week, when who should come boom
ing up the aisle on Sunday morning but
Mr.. and Mrs. Banks with Tecumseh
Aristotle Banks, the remaining twin.
Well, you ought just to've heard that
in like it in all my experience. Even
DR.. Binns had to smile. And the
Bankses they were perfectly wild with
rage. Anyhow, they baptized Tecum-
sch; and after meeting some Of the
elders got to jokin' about it. One said
they'd have to apply to the Town Super
visors for an extension Of the water
works another allowed that arrange
ments ought to be made to divert Huck-
leberry creek, and run it down the mid
die aisle of the church; another made
some kind Of q joke about business be-
ing good because so many banks were
ia town another said that Banks would
need about twelve peWs Wnen his family
grew up.
Somebody must have told Banks
about it, for what does he do to avenge
himself? He sends down to Clarion
county, to his two sisters, to come and
bring their children. So they had a
couple Of babies apiece, and, as soon as
they arrived, Banks he begins to bring
them to church gradually, like the 9TH
ers. You never seen such meetings as
them! The church was iammed full, and
people just roarin'. And when Banks
come in on Sunday, with the fourth and
last of his sisters children, the trustees
thought it was time to interfere. Gettin'
to be farce, you know.
So Deacon Smith he stepped up and
said something to Banks, and Banks,
quick'n a wink, laid down the baby and
banged the deacon with his fist. And SO,
! dunno how it was, but in minute
there was Banks and Deacon Smith and
Deacon Hubbard and Banks sisters
baby and me all a-rollin' and arbumpin
over the floor, hittin' and kckin' and
whoopin' in manner that was ridicu.
GUS to behold.
And when we all come to and got
Strengthened out, Banks picked up The
battered baby Of his sister and quit, and
the trustees held an informal meetin', anG
agreed to close the church for month
SOS to kinder freeze Banks out, SO now
we've shut up; but I reckon it's no use
for / hear Banks has got his back up
and gone and joined the other church.
So I said good-day to the sexton, and
went in search Of another sanctuary.
Who Owns the Land in England
More than half the soil of the United
Kingdom is nominally owned by som.
1000 persons. According to valuable
analysis Of the very ill-arranged and in.
complete parliamentary return of the land
owners of the United Kingdom, published
In the Financial Reform Record for 1878
421 persons are the owners Of 22,88O,755
acres. ornearly s. DOC. 900 acres more thar