Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1880-11-25
Flashes.
Groan persons.-Invalids.
Men of polish. -bootblacks.
Chicken hazard.-a shop egg.
A hard kase.-A Dutch cheese.

Gr0an persons.-lnVallds.
Men of pelish.-bootblacks.
Chicken hazard.-a shop egg.
A hard kase.-A Dutch cheese.
A stuck-up thing.--6 show bill.
Always open to conviction.-A thief.
Trundle beds went out of fashion in
the crib-age. s..,.,
The way to get over culinary difficult
ty is to Bridget.
A man is very apt to feel girlish when
he makes his maiden speech.
Proposals are in order, girls. Re-
member, No bachelor should be with
cut won.
"Never let cold rum" says the doctor.
Bad advice. He wants you to catch it,
and make work fer him.
A circus never runs too long for spec
tators, but let a sermon run forty minutes
and congregation can't sit still.
A boy never stirs his stumps quite so
lndustriously as when poking around in
the gutter for remnants of cigars.
Eve was the first and only woman who
did not gather up her skirts in both
hands and yell at the sight of snake.
0The men of to-day are too high
strung" says Chicago paper. Some
of them are not strung high enough.
Marriage may be like game of cards,
but the bridegroom is all right if he
holds good hand when the knot is tied.
ssShall l hereafter darn your stockingsg'
is said to be the fashionable language
for young lady to use when msking a
leap year proposal.
A young man while attempting to fix
a misplaced switch" on a young lady's
head in ball room, stepped on her dress
and swrecked the train.''
When a girl is twenty she feels very
easy on that score. It's only when she
scores another that she begins to wonder
who invented wrinkles.
George Washington never told lie,
but then Martha never skirmished in his
pockets and insisted on knowing all
about letters written in feminine hand
Although Lots wife was converted
into pillar of salt, no trace of her has
ever been discovered. 1t is strangely sus-
pected that Lot used her to freeze ice
cream to treat his new girl.
81 wouldn't marry the bestman living" she
said;
And she kept her VOW from the first,
But she did not live to die an old maid,
For she married one of the worst.
Detroit street cars won't take counter
fit nickels for fare, and there always has
been constant complaint about theil
being dropped snto contribution boxes
"What's a Teller TO do9'' asks the
Free Press.
The liar may succeed for time, bu
Justice is sure to overtake him, A Chica
go man told the burglars around his bee
that he hadn't dollar, but when the,
put candle to the soles of his feet, h
shelled out $3.50.
A mules head does not contain a brall
capable of culture and refined rearing
but it is wonderful to what an extent tn
other end of his form can be reared. W
beg to be excused, however, from bring
ing that end up by hand.
A fond mother hearing that an earth
quake was coming, sent her boys to tn
country tie escape 1t. After few day
-, she received note from the friend, say
: ing:
, 'For goodness sake, take your boy
, away, and send along the earthquake il
? stead"
A teacher in the Wiltwyck, Ulste
\ county, school, recently electrified be
' pupils, who were annoying her wit
3 questions: "Children, am engaged.
Noticing the general look of astonist
! ment, she added: "But not to any too
q of man" The excitement subsidized.
f Some relations once paying a Lancs
t shire old lady visit, and prolongin
: their stay beyond her contemplation {
l wish, were somewhat taken aback or
|, morning before they were up, bv .hea
ing her call out loudly on the stairs; g.
+ fine morning for cousins to 60 homer
"Ma, 1 want sled; I do want a slet
!. can't have sled9"
"Ask your tather.''
81 don't want to ask him, ma"
l. "Why, what nonsense! ASK him."
. "No, ma, you ask him; you hay
y known him longest"
e "My dears miss something or som
body, l can't quite tell what or who
II said Jones to his children, as he sat dow
3 to tea the other night.
o "Perhaps it's MOTHER" said little Bi
u ly; she's gone over to aunt James
tea"
a The child was right. It was Mrs. Jon
who was missed, and Jones remarked
o. continuance:
"Well, let's have quiet supper, then
A little girl in the infant class Of
Z Sunday school thoroughly appreciate
u the difference between being good frol
. choice and from necessity. At the clo
L Of the school one day the teacher I
L marked:
+ "Beckie, dear, you have been We
good little girl to-day
"Yes'm, l couldn't help being good !;
= got tiff neck" responded the YOUTH
Beckie, with perfect seriousn ess.