The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1880-12-23


resident priests, - Food, incense. Tea,
printed prayers and mock money were
offered to the gods, and appropriate
fare partaken of by their earthly minis
ters. Generous hospitality is the feat \
ure of tho New Year season and there
lis "a Chinese, saying THAT during the |
first part Of the first moon no one has /
an empty sto1naeh.''-Cd Catherine Bald
.'o'', II Aqrpsr's Magesirs; :. toa /,
2a aabis:hr. Matthews. sNo.Is arr
|" The burden of Matthews, of lMoury-,
rviue,r Iowa, whom Pinney, his next
door neighbor, persecuted with bells
until he became weary of his life.a s3,s.
DlII Mr. Pinpey is, an Industrious and &C.
tive man. He rises up early and goes
TO bed at fiiine oaclOck.' Mr.. Pinney is
also full of theories. Whether we con-
slider the quantity Of his theories or the
smallness Of hismind, it. is certain that
he has more theories to cubic inch of
brains than any other man now living.
Among them is hisi belief that to rise
early is the chief of all virtues. He
ge,s up at Eve O'clock and has break
fast at * l5ss When it is mentioned that
he is. one of those men who are constant
ly telling everybody how early he gets
up and showsmuch he does before other
people are awake, the offensive charac-
ter OF the man will be at once perceived.
lgi Mr.. Matthews, a0p the contrary, sets
up late and, gets up at nine O clock. He
is as busy d man as Mr. Pinney, al
though I'M o tsomeYhatg different way.
He has the affairs of the nation on his
shoulders and from seven to twelve in
the evening he meets hisfellow- citizens
at Smiths grocery. and sets forth the
principles Of his party mixed withea lit.
tie sugariand water and favored with,
lemon-peel. - ''1' = ~
Every omofnihgo at five o,slook Mr.,
Matthews is awakened by Mr.. Pinney's
breakfast, bell, which has a peculiarly
| piercing tenea and which lacerates his
nerves He finds it impossible to get
asleep again and, therefore, tosses un-
easily On his bed for the next four hours.
Recently. he appealed to Mr.. Pinney to
silence that dreadful bell, but Mr. Pin
fney said that. everybody ought TO, get
up at five o'clock, and that he would
not pander to Mr.. Matthews lazfness il
any way. Then MIR. Matthew'S grew
angry and went away murmuring that
he would "get square, with his obsti-
nate neighbor. IL lI31sFs31ts Ids H,s \.
4 The next, day Mr., Pinney was sur
prised to find that q large dag was wal wav1
ing over Mr.. Matthewss house and that
his front yard was ornamented with .
large howitzer. Mr.. Matthews ex-
planned q to inquiring friends that. he
| loved the old flag intensely, and intend
ed henceforth to do it honor. He said
that he should haul the flag down,every
night at precisely twelve o'clock and
should hoist it again every morning at
/ one o'clock, and that on each occasion
he should salute it with his gun.
Accordingly, at midnight Mr.. Pinney
was startled by the roar Of the. howitzer
/ which disturbed his slumbers so effectu-
ally that it was fully quarters of
an hour before. he could 90 to sleep
again, and he had hardly closed his eyes
when the one o'clock gun made him
fairly spring out of bed, and had such
an effect on his nerves that he lay awake
all the rest of the night. The same re-
suits attended the hauling down and
hosting of Mr.. Matthews flag every
night for the ensuing week, BY the end
of whichItim Mr.. Pinney was in q most
pitably nervous condition. He knew
that it would be Useless to appeal to his
exasperated neighber unless he were
first to abolish his own breakfast bell,
and he did not, as yet, feel sufficiently
humbled tostake this step.
After due reflection Mr.. Pinney bought
an alarm clock so constructed that at
the expiration of every hour q weight
would be dropped on a Chinese gong.
This clock he placed at a window front
ing Mr.. Matthews house, and q hired
two boys to set up with it and wind up
the alarm whenever it went off. = II may
be asked why he did not hire the boys
to beat an hourly gong, and thus dis
pense with the clock. Mr.. nPinney's
answer to this question would, undoubt-
edly. be that such a proceeding would
be regarded as q premeditated plan to
annoy his neighbors, whereas it is mo-
torious that every man has right to
own an alarm clock and to use it as his
lconyenience might dictate -
While Mr.. Pinney tried to sleep In a
remote room with his ears stalfed with
cotton and covered with bandage and
was disturbed only by the Matthews
gun, Mr.. Matthews found that the gong
| rendered it impossible for him to sleep
at any time. He tried cotton. but Il
did not do him any good. Last Mon
day therefore, he determined to try the
effect Of firing salute Of one hundred
! guns. beginning at midnight and last
4 ing until five o'clock. This, has had the
desired, effect upon Mr.. Pinney,. who
cannot sleep a single wink at night and
who is forced to turn day into night by
going to bed in the afternoon. when
| Mr.. Matthews is discussing national at
fairs. The latter sleeps from six in the
morning until ten. and, like his neigh
| Dor is becoming frightfully haggard and
nervous from want of sufficient sleep.
H. What the result will be no one can
| foresee. Mr. Matthews, as the original
sufferer from the Pinney bell has the
lsympathies of most of his fellow towns
men, and as both Mr.. Matthews and
:. Mr.. PinneyI liva q long way out Of the
village, their nocturnal exploits disturb
OMIT their own families 70 YlIA tw0yof.