The Magnolia gazette. [volume] (Magnolia, Miss.) 1872-current, 1880-03-19
CREAM OF THE MAILS.

Not word they utter
Curious kind O. courtin.-.
New aud then they mute:
Thirteen --lliteen---fuurteen."
Put away the new prize puzzle,
Twill be never needed more.
Fifteen fourteen hotheratiOnm
Bangl there goes tte asylum door
THE BICYCLE.
beginnerrodc ton bicycle.
Met lady who stared likcan icicle;
The wheels went around,
lie dropped to the ground,
This sensitive youth on the biycle
LowEIL's PRoPHEsY.
One of the verses of Loweil's "Pious
Editors Creed" from the Bigl0W Papers,
reads as follows:
du believe lis wse and good
tn send out hrrin missiOns
That is on saTtin understood
An OrthydOx conditions
mean nine thosand dolls per NM
Nine thousand more for outfit
An me IN recommend man
The place would jest about it
When the genial Lowell penned the
stanza, over thirty years since, he doubt
less had little idea of ever filling fur
rim mission" at a salary nearly double
the figure mentioned.
WHAT THEY ARE MADE OF.
According to an old song young ladies
are made up of
Dresses and bonnets ribbons and sonnets;
Boarding school graces nounces and lnces,
And sweet pretty faces
DON'T SMOKE YOUR HEART.
A French physician has published
pamphlet showing the terrible Selects
Of smoking on The heart" OF course, if
a man will take out his heart and smoke
on il, lie is bound to endanger his lie,
WHY IT WAS so NAMED.
A new waltz step, likely to become
popular, is called the Racquet" This
is published so that when the young
people are making unusual noises in the
parlor, the old people need not come
down to inquire what the "Racquit" is all
about.-NelC Orleans Picayine.
THE HEARTLEss PHILADELPHIAN.
A heartless Philadelphia man, says the
Chronicle, remarked in the presence OF
| twenty-six ladies that he had Just found
an elegant switch of false hair, and
twenty-three Of them suddenly put their
hands to the backs of their heads before
they yelled at amt mine" And the
fellow hadn't found any switch after
all.
YOU WAFFLE MAN.
There has been clean-loolsing man
in the city selling waflles lately, from
door to door. He called the second
time in vain at one house on Warren
street, and the hired girl didn't know
she was saying anything cunning when
she answered his query-"No, we don't
want none. Go way you waffle man. ~
Syracuse Sunday Times.
DO FISH HEAR.
"Do fish hear?" is another of those
distressing conundrums men of science
are eternally springing on long suffer
ing world. OF course, fish hear. We
went fishing one day and the strongest
words we said were 'By hoolSy," and We
never caught a fish, and when we looked
into the water we saw every old decrepit
fish in the party holding an ear trumpet
in its right fin.-NelD HdUea Register.
MAMA DON'T ALLOW IT.
ooh, mamma doesn't allow me Ia
dance with midshipmen," was the re
sponse OF daughter Of high functuary
to agallant young MILDLY on one Of Queen
Victoria's ships, when asked for a waltz
But the young woman-who has Indian
blood in her veins-relented when she
found he was nobleman as well as 9
muddy, and claimed him for partner
Oh, mamma doesn't allow me to dance
with squaws," was the boys reply, as ht
moved away.
PASTE THIS IN YOUR HAT.
There's no such thing as strollinl
down the glen arm-in-arm with her a
this season Of the year. The moss
covered rock, that erstwhile served as
resting place, is cold and uninvlting; tn,
deep shadows of the rustling trees ar
attenuated and scrawny; the sun, thougl
at times bright, does not warm up th
affections Of the soul; there are no lin
nets carolling forth an accompaniment
to Cupid's song of love: the breeze tina
blows from off the sea isn't toying zephyr
like with her floating ringlets; there ar
no wild star flowers and yiolets to gath
er with dainty fingers and decorate tn
lapel of your coat. 1t is dull, cold an
, gray outside. If she won't ask you in L
sit by the fire, get another girl.-Ne'
HdUen Register.
: NO LOSS OF CONFIDENCE.
! A Detroit grocer had patent money
I drawer attached to his counter the othe
! day, and it was no sooner in workin
I order than his clerk rendered his resie
!. nation.
: "You going to leave? Why, what
, the matter?" asked the grocer.
! 81 don't want to stay where a perso
t has lost confidence in me-"
: ''Do you refer to that new till?"
r "Yes."
l "Well, you are very foolish. haven
r lost the least bit of confidence in you
E honesty, but simply argued that if yo
: had less change to squander outside
I. could have more of your time in tn
!, store! Loss of confidencel The idea
4 absurdl
The satisfied clerk took off his hat an
returned to duty.--Detroit Press.
Z TIE Detroit Eres Presa estimates thu