The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-03-24
ALL SORTS,

AdE dIcn young woman With beau
becomes archer.
BARBARY aphorism- Time out OF
mlnd-mislaid dates.
MANY mortgager, though poor in
money, is rich in deed.
| FLATrERY is like cologne water, to be
shifted at, not swallowed.
| WATcHl" said the second hand.
I'll be around in minute"
WHICH is the best of the four seasons
for arithmetic? The summer.
SENSIBLE men with gray heads are
like good works they never dye.
The music of the bell is not in it's
tongue. Bellies should remember this.
Woe stings us even in our pleasures,
but virtue consoles us even in our
pains.
WOMEN are the funniest when thew
say nothing; but women are so seldom
funny.
SMOKING / cents worth of tobacco in
= $50 pipe is like dressing scarecrow
in . seal-skin sack. s.
LIE lament of manager when he
has bad house: Tiers, idle tiers, !
know not what they mean"
MRS. PARTINGToN says Ike has
bought horse 50 spirituous that it al
ways goes off on a decanter.
Two BAD little boys of Tarentum
First borrowed some pins, and then bent 'em.
" When their pa took . seat :.
.fr- They both beat a retreat ,s
AZ did likewise the fellow who lent EN-
IHE proper form for will nowadays
will read: TO the respective attor-
neys OF my children I give my entire
| estate"
A MAN having fallen down in fit in
a tailor's shop, an envious rival said,
That's the only fit ever seen in that
establishment"
The difference between man who
digs in the ground and one who digs in
books is that the former digs for hire
and the latter for lore.
HE principal beauty of the Mormon
religion is that the same woman doesn't
have to get up first the entire Writer to
build the kitchen fire.
SHALL hereafter darn your stock
ings?" is said to be the fashionable
language for young lady to use when
making leap-year proposal.
Is THERE a scientific man in the
country who can tell, after sock eets
! hole in it, what becomes of the ma
teriaf that once took the place Of the
aperture? 800 :, :,
Gone will be your pleasant smile: -,.at
Had the oil-can been IL uch larger 81
You'd have gone about mile.
AN awkward fellow planted his foot
square upon lady's train, the other
day. 20, you great train wreckerls
said the lady, angrily. "Beg your par
don, street-sweeperl" was the arch re-
ply.
LAURA with novel; aOh, if this tale
were only true and were the heroine |"
Kate What! With her prosecutions,
Der misery?" Laura-"Ah, but then,
dear, remember she does get husband,
after ALL"
As A PEOPLE, we work entirely too
hard. AS witness the fine young fel-
lows, in the first flush of manhood. I'M
loading twenty or thirty schooners of
beer in day without any assistance
whatever.
LIE Normans revived round dances
IN the twelfth century; the Bohemians
invented the redowa, the Poles the
polka, and the Hungarians the mazour-
ka and galop. The cotillion is as old as
the time of Louis XIV.
FIVE courses of brick will lay one
foot in height on chimney; six bricks
in course will make flue eight inches
wide and twelve inches long, and eight
bricks in course will make aue eight
inches wide and sixteen inches long.
"A LARGE elm tree stood on the spot
where man at Lewistown, N. Y, de-
cided to build residence. He did not
cut it down, but built around it. The
odd sight was presented of q tree top
growing out of the roof of handsome
residence. +"+ ta.
AT christening, while the minister
was making his certificate he inquired
the day of the month and happened to
say: Let me see, this is the Thrift
eth" The thirtiethl" exclaimed the
indignant mother, indeed, but it's
only the nineteenth"
The wearing of buckles commenced
in the reign of Charles H., but people
of inferior rank and such as affected
plainness in their garb wore strings in
their shoes some years after that pc
Rod. These last were. however, ridi-
culed for their singularity in using
them.
NEVER give away penny indiscrim-
inately. If beggar tells you he is
starving order him to come TO you the
next day. If he makes his appearance
it is proof of the falsehood of his
statement. II it had been true he would
have died during the night.
A JUSTICE, at Abba, Ohio, performed
a marriage ceremony, and was asked
how much he charged for the service.
1.-The law of this State allows me 49,"
he replied. "Wel, here's so cents"
said the bridegroom, and that with what
the State allows will make $780,
"SEE that my graves kept green
he warbled, under the window of his
fair ones domicile, one pleasant night.
I'll tend to the grave business, young
man." shouted her enraged paternal an
cestor, as he poked an old musket out
of the second-story window. No more
concert that evening.
THE mysteries of baby's toilet were
altogether new to little 4-year-old,
and he carefully watched the bathing
and dressing of his little cousin. When
the little powder-box was open, and the
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