The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1880-02-07

y n
left without single one. H ca
lie W anted TO be n A ctsr.
A citizen whose weight never ex-
ceeds 100 pounds, was the other day
buying couple Of hens Of farmer
on the market, and before the bar
gain was concluded the two became
quite friendly, and the farmer said
he had something on his mind to be
communicated. One Of his boys had
passion for theatricals and was de-
sirous of becoming An actor. The
idea was so strong on him that he
had become worthless on the farm.
and the father was In peck of
trouble to know how To turn the boys
attention from the foot-lights to the
plow handles.
"Spose | send him to you, and you
make fun and ridicule him and let
him see how foolish it is2' suggested
the father, and the citizen agreed.
As result Of their planning. the boy
walked into the citizens place Of
business, early next morning The
father had called him boy, but he
weighed about 160 pounds, sto d
nearly 6 feet high, and he had pair
of hands as large as the chrome of
the Yosemite Valley. His arrival
was expected, and after few words
.5sat the weather the citizen inquir-
ed;
$50 you think you would make an
actor, ehr'
YES, kinder think So" was the
reply. p t3
"What line would you like to take?'
"Well, l kinder like tragedy"
Tragedy! Why, you couldn't sue
ceedin tragedy? Look ut your hands !!
Look at your feet Remember your
voice! You'd be Kissed Off the stage.
Don't you ever think Of tragedy
again" 49 .=a3
"How would I do in drama?"
asked the boy.
"Not at all, in the first place your
ears are too large. Then your heels
stick out too far. Then your hands
would hide half the other actors.
Don't try the drama for you would be
dead failure %
"Then could l do anything in COM
edyY
"Not a thing. The sight Of you
in comedy would be the same as the
sight of a hearse on the stage. All the
facial expression you have is behind
your ears" Hie 40 Z
"Ive thought some of beingla mig
ger MINSTREL" observed the boy, after
a long silence
That's the worst Of all l tell
you, boy, you'd better stick to the
farm. You are not cut ont for an
actor, and you want to drop the idea
at once" ~ Fst
"Why couldn't l act as an ushei2'
"You are too stiff in the knees"
couldn't | take ticketsY'
"Neverl your hands are too big
for that" r
Couldn't shift scenes?'
''No, sir. You are too big and UNI
wieldy."
There was long and painful ST.
lence. Then the boy rose up and
said: rs esun
swell, I'm bound to go into theat
ricals. If l can't be anything else
I'll be the Teller that stands at the
door to raise row, and I'll begin on
you! Come over heren e-g
He hauled the adviser over the Ia
BILE, ciutched him by the small Of
the back and spun him around slam
med him against the wall and drop
ped him to get better hold. When
the curtain rose on the next act there
was strictly private conversation
going on between Hamlet and the
Ghost, and the ghosts coat was rip
ped up the back, and his collar torn
open. Then Hamlet suddenly de-
manded in loud voice: 38aa
''Caitiff!' do you declare that !
cannot act?'
Then the Ghost lodged around the
table and replied: S.
mo, don't! You are all right
you are splendid actor-you can't
help but win!''
"And you'll tell my father SOP"
Il will--you bet / willr' sill q 81
"If you don't --," esaosx
Here Hamlet took three steps for
ward, two hack; scowled his fiercest,
and the Ghost jumped behind the
stove and vowed that he'd even pay
$50 for a private box on the night Of I
the debut.
"Tis well" said Hamlet, and be
went over on the market to see II he
could sell three pccks Of onion sets
for cash down. 8s