, 1880-02-28
SMILES

| Peru may have lost her celebrated fronclad,
but she still possesses her famous bark.
| "Will you have some more beans, JohnnyY
| "No," mo what?' s'No beans" says Johnny,
solemnly.
| Laugh and grow fat-grow fat and be laughed
| at. It Is q poor rule that will NOT work In a1l
directions.
Professor" Can you tell Of what parents the
great Napoleon was born?" Student-"O OF Cors-
i-can."-Ydle Record.
Our navy, In its pres ent form, is Just as usefu
to the Nation as pair OF suspenders to a South
Sea Standardization Post
One of tho latest novels is entitled, st a Woman
After All" This seems to be reve rising things.
It has generally been all after woman.
Before Harvey discovered the circulation Of
| blood, the man who was hit On the nose supposed
that organ held pint of - claret" ali the ume.-
Dayuit Free Pfccs.
The telephone is only about tTo years Gld but
were rugged when the pyramids were young
Burlington Hdtckeye.
i tramp was found dead out West with this bit
Of information pasted on the inside Of his hat:
"Violict-le-Duc died Of apople1y, brought on
by 0yerwork.' .''-Albdny Journal
Oh, yes; undoubtedly James Gordon Bennett
"guve that SlO0,009 rs an advertisement" and
the starving poor of ireland wish there were more
Just such udyertisers--Bost0n Post
The noses of the Princes are reported safe, and
q special day of Thanksgiving and prayer
throughout Her Majesty's dominons will shortly
be announced.-Nelu Fork Commercial ADVERTISER
"Why do you make promises exclaimed an
irate creditor, If you don't expect to keep
them?" 40 checkr' shouted the debtor; II why
DO YOU make goods when you don't want to
Assp oo' ...
We advise the authors ct the rejected manu-
scripts lying about this OtEce TO cnll Tor them
and go to Nevadn or Montana House servants
inG," ,,ic cdn;tnl 40 ~ Nv
"'o' o"f
comes T to inouire f how you QUA are getting Pet % aonS,
ntter you have Deen served. Dur1nT me nat na1f
hour you are whiting for a'waiter he Is not v1si-
-. ~ ...,, s
Prot. De Mile left novel behind h1m.-Ncp
tiaccn lteQlstsr. : ou Wouldnt nave had MN
Lake u with MN, wouln yon!-On Guy DsFffes~
n 2! regaro iof H dn1 ceG9 su;e reaoers most GER
aHev lin 1ot,a ha oor.men uoorsnan2
Hllmp, you cant row. who said anything
ai,p the ana t1 aon 90
men In the conntryT'-Ou CatV Derrick.
Parne]l announces that he has received
s5otso0in donations from this part Of the county
~ fnr rhis shn,vs Tint nnr narsnnai a,h:crnt;on
ar9iyed safely but we should ike to 5now whom
The c1ectr,c lt,bt Ia n s,,ccess A ,npsfc;an
named Bruno WIS Killed u fortnight uso by q
shnrlr from m ejoctrin-iirht nnnnrntns in 1{ir
minrhnm. Enc Tenrners on fha Vini;n viii
T.inasa .nGa ,,n1ica NRorHrs3er ~ y rnrSse ''o "An
,.swhata IN name p. All. william vo,,
Didn't kno,v evarvthin.r tlonts certofn' SSajt
cnn be bought for few Gents u quart. but cali it
chloride Of sodium. and the npOthccary viii
m1lct you to the tune Of half n dollar for one
nnnr serinie.-I;ostnn Trnnscrfnt. N0''A- 1oi o'7
p1oa naaaha1 49,, ~ ~ ~ " +hs',aa .o
would make them gunners by the time they
were 10 yeArs old. II he had Thousand boys he
could not have bit upon more ingenious method
to reduce their number, but VIC hope he will
never have many rs that--fochestcr Express
1p ,.,,, ,yo,+ ao,na+t;n, fun,v n, rood
you ~. "nue @ ~ ~ s,..s @ t anhy t1 ~ aeu tu
And you'll find there tho book you need,
Fay-mous Puclss sprighty new Innu-aL
An y want II COPY, and dom you forget It.
-IFheeliny Leader.
nho .,o+,or ,rh, r,+,,,, h,. +o,,,,. ,,,,,..,
ane attotae. MHu tItins nel senaper wnen sne
div bonnet to the cut's ruil is One Of rhe yerv
few individuals who woui. be satisfied with
SECURING u sccond-cluss pair Of wings when she
becomes m NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. E1nnikls H1re
adj.