St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-19
Cows Teeth.
IGNORANCE STALKING THROUGH THE
LAND.
IPeck's Sun.1

their places of business, and one oil
them, man who resides on Van Burer
street, asked the other, jackson stree
man, if COWS had any front teeth OIL
their upper jaw. The Jackson stree
man was little astonished at the ques
ton, as there had been nothing saiC
about cows, but replied promptly.
"Why, of course they have front
teeth on their upper jaw; how could
they bite off grass if they hadn't 2"
The Van Buren street man said il
was not question of logic, but ques-
tiOn of fact; and if the jackson street
man did not know whether cows had
front teeth on the upper jaw or not, be
ought to say SO. 81 did not ask for
your opinion" he said, 81 asked if you
kne,u"
The Jackson street man was little
nettled at this and replied with some
warmth. He said if he had a child three
years old who would ask such a Ques-
tion as that, he should be afraid the
child was an idiot.
"You would Z"
81 certainly should"
"Then," said the Van Buren street
man, ''as it is such simple question,
of course you can tell me whether cows
have front teeth on their upper jaws or
whether they have not"
"Why, of course they have"
"They have, eh 2"
| "Yes.n
"rll bet you $40 they haven't" said
the Van Buren, street citizen, pulling
out roll of bills, and peeling off a cou-
pie of fives and shaking them at his
neighbor. "Put up or shut up"
'There is some Internal catch about
this thing" said the other, suspicious
ly; 81 might have known it, too, the
minute yon asked me such an Internal
ly idiotic question"
"No catch at all about it," replied the
other, 'if cows have got front teeth on
their upper jaws the $40 is yours. If
they haven't the money is mine. Moth
ing could be fairer than that, could
there 2"
But still the Jackson street man hes
itated. 1t was barely possible that
cows did not have any front teeth on
their upper jaws. He remembered,
then, that cows in biting off grass al
ways threw their noses outward, while
horses nipped it off by jerking their
noses inward. He was astonished at
how near he had come to being victim
lied, but he did not like to come down.
The two were then near the meat mar
ket at the corner of Jackson and Michi-
igan streets, and the Jackson street
man was sure that a butcher would
know for certain whether or not COWS
had front teeth on their upper jaws SO
he pushed open the door and said to the
proprietor:
"Linehan, have cows got front teeth
on their upper jaws Z"
| Linehan was running a skewer
through roast of beef, but he stopped,
looking up in astonishment, and said,
"What 2"
"Have cows got front teeth on their
upper jaws?"
"Cows ~
eyes,
SCOT front teeth on their upper
jaws 2"
Eyes"
"Upon my word don't know"
"You don't know 2"
"No. You see l buy my beef by the
quarter at the slaughter house, and dc
not have anything to do with the heads
But can find out for you when 1 GO
over"
81 wish you would"
So the jackson street man closed the
door and rejoined his neighbor and the
two walked ON without saying a word
A milk wagon was seen coming up the
street, and it was resolved to hail the
driver and ask him the question, as it il
popularity supposed that milkmen are
more or less familiar with cows. The
Van Buren, street citizen cleared hi
throat and yelled, "Hello ~ The milk
man reined up and said:
go ahead with your tests. If yor
find any water or chalk in that milk II
give you the whole of it,"
The citizens told him to be calm, a
they had no intention of testing hi
milk, but only wanted to know if cow
had front teeth on their upper jaws.
The milkman looked at them about
minute, and then whipped mp his horse
and drove off, mentioning some kind o
fool that they were. Up on Wisconsin
street they saw another milkman deliv
! ering milk, and overtaking him the.
explained the dispute. He smiled pity
iugIy upon their ignorance and said:
"Of course cows have front teeth o.
; their upper jaws-a driyeling idio
ought to know that much. A cow woul
be handsome object without an
, front teeth on her upper jaw, wouldn'
she ?"
"Pve concluded to take that bet G
yours" said the jackson street man t
the other. "Come, now, down wit
: your dust. Put up or shut up"
l "Why didn't you do it, then, whe
: you had chance never claimed t
know whether COW had front teeth O
= her upper jaw or not; | only thought
i i had read SO somewhere, and 1 asked t
> > see if you knew about it for certain
. But now that the thing is settled, an
,. there is no question about it, there
y nothing to bet on as can seen
"Oh, of course not" said the Jackso
street man, sarcastically, "of courl
not.n
Just then Mr.. Clark, of the Newha
Z House happened along, and as the mill
man picked up his lines and drove q
j. the Van Buren street man asked NJ
u Clark if be knew anything about COW
e Mr.. Clark said he did, having former
g been a farmer aud a cattle buye
's "Well," said the Van Buren streete
~ "do you know Iget the queerest idea
'l my head this morning about cows tn
a man ever had. Somehow or other
got an idea that cows had no fro
gs teeth on their upper jaw; and actus
a ly offered to bet $40 with this man th
to such was the case. 1 don't see wh
lie possessed me.n
re "Well, if you had bet you wou
le have won the money!" said Mr.. Clarl
ID 'What ?" exclaimed both the citize
es together.
~ 81 say if you had bet you wor
~ hou MON tho