New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-03-17
zEPH PARKEHS STRATAaRH.

OsOy AZ OCVOO OVIA Will III tu64E 0y0s
teeth cut in their celestial jaws; and
you've got to get up airly, sir, II you
want to take in q Chineer!'
The speaker was . hard-faced, hol-
low-jawed gentleman. in glossy black
suit, which fitted him very badly, and
the remark was made in the smoking
room of the Continental. Therg he
was to be seen daily, and he was sup
posed to have given the speckylators
fits in iles;'' in other words he was be-
loved to have made . fortune in petro-
lctlm. At all events be had plenty Of
money, and was very generous in the
spending Of it.
The conversation had turned on the
vexed Chinese question, and he had
struck into the discussion.
II -cck 'lect," he said, ether wa
Zepb Parker lie was deep 'un, was
Zeph: He was long O. me and few
more mp to Neva'!a, JUS 'beout tho
time of the silver craze. The boys mad
been washing for gold; honest-like,
meow gi!tin' it out O. pockets, meow
ou;cl tho stream; and when they'd
done with bit o wash dirt, and gone
of to another claim, Mister Washeo
Was',e" Chinec would come over and
20 over the dirt after them, and be sat
is'irG with what he got. Then comes
the silver craze. All Oh Us goes of and
loses all we'd made in gold, gifts no sill
yer, and comes back disappointed to try
otter the god again.
"Guess we might try, and try AGAIN.
but no gold could We get; and al bout
Us was them smooth-faced, pig-tailed
Cinnamon, gittin' on prosperous and
contented.
81 tell yew,' said Zeph, Il shall 90
and murder one o. them smilin' teapots.
l can't stand it much longer!'
"This here was in our bit Of . tent,
where we was tryin' to make ourselves
happy, playin' poker on credit, and
Keepin' no account.
SO What for' l SEE.
"'What tori cries Zeph. Dew yew
think that l, an enlightened sitterzen Of
= free country, am gwine to set down
and be robbed O. my mess o. golden
pottage by pack O smilin', washer
women-faced, opium-smokin', celestial
Jacobs? No, Stree, this dog gwine to
biter
"'But don't kinder see what this
dogs gwine to bite fur 1 seq. Teapot
amt done nuthin' to you.
Mateys,' sez Zeph, getting on the
barrel as had been his seat, things has
come to purity pass with us, heven't
they?' -
Right, old hoss,' seq some one,
hammerin' the chest-id as had been
our table.
"'Haz any man here got any tobac-
COP seq Zeph. .
"Nov .1ae.-.. .. .........
"'Haz any man here got xny old
Burbon whiskyf'
"'Haz any man got any dust7'
"'No! st~
"Any -four, or pork, or boots, or
new blanketsp' -t
No. no. no. NOT .
"'Ihen them Chimes haz,' contin-
ued Zeph; and what SEE is this-as
it is sin and shame to let q pack o.
heathenish cusses like them teapots as
never goes to churches nor listens to
parsons
~ say, Zeph,' seq some one, when
did you 60 to meetin' last?'
"' Never you mind SEE Zeph, and
don't interrupt q man as wants to give
you suthin' to eat. A set o. cusses,
SEE, as never goes to meetin', and
b'lieves in nuthin' but joss-houses. 1
say, it's sin to let EN- be gittin' fat
on our land, while we're as thin and
starved lockin' as-as-as-'
"'As ole Zeph Parker himself SEE
Tom Paggins.
".Wal, ez thin ez l am, if you like
seq Zeph.
"'This is all very purity I seq, but
we can't 60 and take claim from the
.eapots, Zeph; nor we can't rush EN-,
and annex the dust and nuggets they've
washed out
"'No,' sed Zeph, winkin' one eye;
but we kin strategise EN-
How" l SEE. Don't kinder see
It. They're too deep to BIZ done.'
"'Yah? SEE Zeph, 'they's 'beout ez
deep ez two-cent plate. Give me the
means and I'll sell the lot, and put q
good pocketful o. dollars or dust in
every mans pocket six on us!'
"'But what means d. yer wantr I
seq.
"One handful O. DUST seq Zeph.
"'And where are We to get it?' seq
Tom Paggins.
"'This is how sez Zeph. Morrow
every man hyar's got to 20
round the camp end cadge Tell the
boys we're hard up, but we've got
good thing on. They'll subscribe
little all reound. Yew see if they DON'T
"'Well, Wen try sez we; and we
went to sleep hungry and got up rav.
"There was nothin' for it but to 20
to work, and OF we went, getting back
to our tent about eleven O'Clock, when
five out Of the six had got little gold
dust: l was the unlucky one, bein' Z
bad beggar, and had got none.
80 Now, then! SEE Tom Paggins, a.
soon as the dust was al put together
about q big spoonful Of glitterin' stun;
lets 90 up 70 tho store and get .
drink
That you Jest won't seq Zeph,
GRIMM I'm kinder gwine to throw
all this here dust away-I'm gwine to
SOW it. boys, for a crop to come up
We all grumbled, for we were
mighty hungry; but we all had kind
OF trust in Zeph, and gave way.
So Lookee hyar, lads he SEE; its
jest twelve o'clock now, 90 let's 70
round and git . mouthful where We
cam
Lets 60 up to Billy Bolly's stores,
and ask him to give US square meal,
and stick it up I seq. He'll trust
u.s.
"'Think he would?' sez Zeph.
$ Sartain,' I seq; If you show him
that gold, and tell him there somethin'
good on
"And 90 it was; Bill, on seeing that
gold and hearing 6 we'd got somethin'
good on, gave Us tight square meal,
and . taste round o. Bourbon, endin'
with the cheerful remark: !. I shall take
it out o some Of yew 4 this here aia't
squared up.'
That didn't make 1 nice dessert,
for Bill was : wonderful clever fellow,
Az I. - q S7tf