The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-07-16
N gO.
onls q Wosnen's hair
sindiag the now 10 the past:
Only single thread,
Too frail 10 last.
1alr woman's hair
Threa,ting tear and Il sigh:
Only woinau's hair,
Pound to-day In the pie.

!" Forced politeness- Bowing to necessity.
!, : Ia "a clothins-house Il cotcrie, !. pantry or
" a restry:
n The flesh of the zebra is the best animal
i food in Africa.
r The only game thai 4 grtmblcr ind,lgce
& iii IL croak-eh.
Tiie man who knows low it is going
: TO turn ont" is II milkman.
Beauty unadorred,n etc., is the motto
!. Of the ne" Frencl, bAtIiing costumes.
Scientists say thai one-fifth Of the hut
. man brain is composed Of phosphorus
The society lady never sheds teara. She
knows enough to keep her powder dry.
| Here's Utah advertisement: A'ro let
room for one gentleman and six wives
One good act done to-day is worth a
thousand in contemplation for some future
time.
DO not Use water piils that have been
painted on the inside: it is dangerous to
health.
Senator Edlnunds is an enthusiastic All
slcr, and spends good part of his sum-
nler in that sport.
/ why ia Zulu belle like prophet Of
old: Because she has not much on 'er in
her own country.
! A man i'll State Street WIS so hard up
/; the first OF the week that he could not
raise an umbrella.
There arc now more mosquitoes to The
cubic inch in Alabama than have been
known there for twenty-five years.
Already deaths by drowning while bath
ing are being chronicled. Beware, boys.
that none Of you help to swell the list.
By measurements given in the Book Of
Revelation. there is only room enough In
heaven for 297 200 900, 900, 900 peysous.
'.The family man." says Mrs Quip.
"rcsemblrd an oyster on half-shell Tho
shell s known at home-the soft side
abroad.
Seth Green says that if the State would
only protect the fish it plants, they could
in q few years be Ave fish day for each
person.
Talented individuals Nho have won
golden opinions are never avcrse to ex-
changing them for sreenbacks. or even for
trade dollars.
"Till the action Y inquiries the aux
ioua client. "1-es,n replies The tacetious
attorney, ''the action will lie if the Wit
uesses WILL"
What an awtully inuuisitive man the
editor of the indianapolis Hetuid is. He
wants to know when politicians will pr4r-
tice what they preach!
4 young nrul boosted that he Ind a
well-storei niind, Ml,ereupon y young lady
nurmure,, what tt pity We can't find
onf where he stored it,
The Law against carrying concealed
weapors does not apply to bicycles. They
are rcyolvers, but they avoid cart ridges
and never go off themselves.
The Rev. DR.. Hall says chat every blade
at grass contains II sermon. But every
Sermon does not contain any thing so
pointed rs II blade OF grass.
\ call comes from one OF the Methodist
asissiona in India for $500 Methodist
preachers filled with the Holy Ghost and
fearing nothing but sin.
Wherever the sl4nderer is found, tfrrw
humanity ia arrayed against itself, and
there The honey and the balm of life are
turned TO gall and 'iettles.
A couple were married in Chauta,qtla
County \, T., the other day, OF whom the
groom is 81 wears old and the bride 10.
Zach had been married before.
Fhe proprietor of u corner store i'll a
New England city has put up II significant
sign. Wanted, the ten LATEST men in
town---to loaf on this corner
1t Is the easiest thing in the world to
find man will TO bet Il hat on his candi-
date. but it Is the hardest thing in tho
! world to find the man if he loses.
Harvard College, incorporated IN 1862,
aud the Honorable Artillery Company,
Incorporated in 1888, were for ii hundred
years the only Incorporated bodies in
Massachusetts,.
Charles Mathews was one Of the actors
who never grew old. At the age OF seventy
/: tfvt his young men parts were performed
+; ;inimitablv Lester Wallack will also he
enc OF these perennials.
/ my mamma says you haven't sense
i enough to feed pig said Lady Bob 10
! bic lorlship. .-snd you agreed with her,
i ] suppose p 4'So, ! didn't. took your
! part. | eaid was sure you had
I DON'T touch the telephone during a thnu-
! ster-storn,. The ear OF IL woman who did
! 10 Was made nunlh and deaf, and she was
made giddy an nauseated, and had ring
ing in her cara, which lasted for about
; tWo weeks. -
/ New York pays more FOR tobacco 1tfar
/ for bread. Dealers say that there are
! smokers III that city who average one
hundred cigars q week, and nen whose
cigar bills run up TO thousands Of stallArs
yer annuh.
Ii is not much thought Of, but it is cer-
tainly very important lesson, TO learn
srow 10 enjoy ordinary life, and be able
Ii, relish your being, without the trans
psrt Of some passion or the qualification
Of some appetite.
Il 1t is said of President Hayes that he
Eltas appointed more literary men to foreign
missions than any other President Of the
/ United States. Ii is a well-known fact
that Secretary Eyarts is in favor of send
/ ing men Of letters abroad.
\ country man was one day catching
What he supposed were frogs, when 4
gentleman, happening along, Informed
! him that they were toads. SO hncls the
worse for them. Il. pliet! the countryman;
ii...they will be eaten MI the same. F"
Madame Giratit, said she could read a
Woman through, her dress, and even fell
her character. tastes and thoughts, Nor
have ] been once deceived said klsc.
q "Eyery article of dress reveals Il thought,
tand the uoat trivial detail has its lang
4 st4ge."
Although the newspapers are continual
ly critieisins the building Of the Brooklyn
Bridge and prophesying its final abandon
n,ent, there il now definite promise BY
the president of the board Of trustees that
it shall be completed by the Fourth of Jt1-
,FIy, 1881.
The Rev. Dr. " L. Breckenridge once
LIZ j, III y es..ei ar,ntEnn. .sMA think Yull