Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-01-02
Looking Under the Bed.

| tlTln6 lot tue HlSuC. MrS. LNei
green, my beloved wife, INDUCES, if
indulgence it can be called, in this
peculiar practice. I do not object
to it in the least so long as she does
not enforce the performance upon
myself; but when, as is sometimes
the case, she forgets i. until she has
put out the light and esconced her
self under the comforter, then it is
hard that I, who am not trou-
bled with nervous apprehensiveness,
should have to get out in the cold
and do it for her. l have often re-
marked to Mrs. Evergreen, when l
have seen her peering under the bed,
that it was silly habit, and that
the sooner she gave it up the better.
To this gentle admonition, my bet
ter-half invariably replied:
La, Evergreen! what harm does
it de? It's kind of satisfaction to
know that nobody's under there, and
then l don't think of such q horrible
thing after I'm in bed"
1" think, my dear, you might just
as well pursue your Investigations
further and look into the bureau
drawers and in the clothes baeket."
" Evergreen" she will rejoin,
don't mention the idea, or l shall
certainly do SO. Come to think of
it, Il man could very easily get into
tho clothes basket"
Certainly he could. my dear,
quite as easily as Sir John Falstaif.
You should include the clothes bas-
kct, and by the by, there's the CHM
ney; why not look up that rs well?'
Now, Evergreen, you're laugh
ing at me, But | can't leave off the
habit, and never will. It's a COM
font for me to know that there $
nothing wrong about it, and l don't
see why you should deprive me of
it"
SO under the bed goes the candle,
and, no signs of humanity being
present, Mrs. Evergreen is able to
repose III peace. ....sis.e4E ...|.
But, as before observed, this pre-
cautionary ac, is sometimes forgot
ten, and | am myself obliged to rise,
light the lamp and report. I've
done 1t rather more frequently of
late than is agreeable, and have in
tlmatcl as much to Mrs. L. She
says:
Very we'll, Evergreen, III 90 it
myself"
But this procedure is almost as
bad, for she invariably let's the cold
i'll on me both in getting out and
getting in. II it We're no! for in
cfeasinT this mental lido yncrasy on
the part of Mrs. E;cryreen, by Civ
ing her some good reason to appre-
hend danger, | should relate to her
what | am about to lay bAore the
reader.
In this narration, therefore l ask
the public most particularly to bear
in mind that Mrs. Evergreen is of Il
sensitive nature, rather apprehensive
and slightly supcrstltious, and that
what have to say must under no
circumstances be impaired to that
lady. Ii for twenty-five years (that
is the period of our welded life: and
happy years they have been if, |
say, for this long period l have re-
Trained from imparting the matter to
tho beloved sharer of my joys and
partaker of my sorrows, surely. the
public (Which, as we know, always
does keep secret) will keep mine.
All young men, 1 suppose, have
love ali ,irs before they eventually
fix their affections on the one who is
to bless their lot i'll life. 1 know
that l had, and / don't regret it
Regret it g.? far from it. Mrs. Ever
gtoen is not present; and, therefore
have no hesitation in saying that i
l had my life to live over again, I'd
like to 20 through with the same
sentimental experience, particularly
If it was to be succeeded by agaii
leading to the hylnenial alter tn:
present Mrs. Evergreen.
l was not bad looking when was
in my twenties. | think l may e,
further and confidently say tina
"Gus Evergreen" was q decided
favorite among the girls of Oakville
and l really believe that l coul'
have had any of them " for the ask
, ing" AS l before remarked, Mrs
5 Evergreen is not present, and l in
) dulge my thoughts somewhat NOR
[ freely than would otherwise be th
case. don't think that / cared par
ticnlarly for any of the Oakville girls
however, and might have kept m
Q heart whole to this day if it had no
4 been for the circumstance which
e am about to relate.
q Fred Evans. who had been m
: chum at school, came to make me
visit at Oakville "a day or two q
he said when he came; but he mad
It it week or two easily enough afte