New Ulm weekly review. [volume] (New Ulm, Minn.) 1878-1892, 1880-07-14
The Plague or Formal Calls.

Is 1T not time that q protest should
be made against the absurdity and UNI
profitableness of our custom of "pay-
ing calls?" 10 visit our friends for the
sake of their companionship is one
thing-a thing to which no social re-
former, however parsimonious of time,
would wish to put q limit. To visit
those whom we think a more intimate
acquaintance might make our friends is
another thing, but equally wise. Visit
ing with such ends in view, however,
implies choice, while the term have
quoted above implies social obligation
OF the most binding character. A So
cial dishonesty is certainly implied in
the accusation that one has not paid"
the calls she "owes."
What is this. custom, simply stated,
and what solid grounds for its exist
cncc would remain did We once remove
the venerable lumber of custom and
tradition with which it is now securely
proppedP Simply stated, it is custom.
airy for woman, who moves in any So
cicty whatever, alternately to visit and
to receive visits from every woman with
whom she wishes to keep up even the
most formal acquaintance. 1t is a per-
notwithstanding ceremony, for one
:owcd,' " and ''" SO on 6e''1 1ore v,s'.
The purpose originally served by
the custom is the distinction
it enables us to draw between
those we desire and those we do not de-
sire to number among our acquaint-
anccs. But ceremony which is, per-
haps, in its simplest form quite indis-
pensable, may at last grow, through
senseless iteration, into an intolcrable
burden. A woman in large city who
would not drop entirely out of its social
life, must keep hard at work at her
Sisyphcan task, made doubly oncrous
by the custom of "kcttle drums" teas
and receptions. In place like Wash
ington, where political is added to social
etiquette, the weight becomes almost
unbearable. ! heard q lady say once
that she would never 90 back to WASH
ington as q politicians wife, unless she
were allowed to assume deep mourning
for some fictitious friend. The only
escape from the useless drudgery of
"society'' seemed to her to lie in q
course that would cut her off from all
its pleasures as we'll. In small towns
the case is almost worse, for there one
gets but meager compensation in social
pleasures of any kind, and though tho
list is briefer, the names bring more
constantly recurring obligations. These
are debts which we must discharge, not
even with hard-earned dollars, but with
hours that arc not to be regained or re-
placed by any effort, or at any cost. Is
there any woman who would not rejoice
if it were conceded that one visit paid
to new acquaintance, and one re-.
ceived in return, is enough. This much
done, could we not wisely grant
woman perfect liberty to visit where
she wished to 20, and to stay away
when she felt no contrary impulse? To
be sure, if she be resolute, wonnan
may do these things to-day, but
with most disagreeable consequences
to herself, because with much offense to
others. Men, married men at least.
have to o great extent freed themselves
from thralldom in this matter. Their
wives leave their cards and it is i'm.
puted to them for righteousness. And
abroad, women, too, are allowed a very
wide margin Of this fictitious visiting.
Does not the fact that sending cards.
is always hailed as a blessed relief, and
often accepted as payment in full Of
one debts, go far to prove that visit
ing itself will one day be :. eliminated
by natural selection" or win pass, at
least. from an imDOrtanf Or0an in Onr