Litchfield enquirer., 1880-12-23

Some enthusiastic fashion. writer predicts a
revolution In underwear. Well, a change in
some things is necessary once in a while.
An Ohio man has taken the smallpox from
pet pig. When once this disease gets into
family it is pretty sure to go through it.
Seventeen burglars have been shot during the
past year, and 1873 sent to prison. Every
trade has its ups and downs and discourage
ments.
Man with his coat off struggling with
piece of steak calls out to the proprietor;
''Say, don't the horns &c with this ere meat ?.
"To me" says Mr.. Bob Ingersoll, ''the future
Is exceedingly bright" 1t is the light of the
eternal fire, Robert, that shines through the
wells which hide the furnaces of the 'Sweet
by-and-by." &
s"What was the election for?" is the inter
rogatory title of long article. We thought
everybody knew what an election is for. 1t
is to give one fool an opportunity to trundle
wheelbarrow for another FOOLS qualification
A ligotning rod peddler having died recent
lyshis widow had him cremated She sifted
en3ngh. brass out OF his ashes to make q
doorknocker.
A newspaper commenting on the fact that
farmer nearly lost his life by sinking in
quagmire, adds: "Men who do not subscribe
for paper must expect to be sucked in every
now and them" 'S ~ q ~ E
Theiyoung people had just settled down in
their new house and had engaged a very cap-
ital servant. At the third breakfast, the hus
band said, my darling, why are allthese
hairs in the hashP" She replied, "Pet, it is
emily misplaced SWITCH" 8
asae z--Eas
MIR. James Bowen, seyenty-one, and Miss
Cassie Cassel, sixty eight, were married in
Washington the other day. Fifty years ago
they were lovers, but the brides parents broke
up the engagement because they were TOO
young.
A lecturer once prefaced his discourse upon
the rhinoceros with, II must beg you to give
me your undivided attention. Indeed, it Is
absolutely impossible that you can form
true idea of the hideoas animal of which we
are about to speak unless you keep your eyes
fixed on me-"
Where the shoe pinches. Eldest daughter
81 think you might let me come out. mamma
I'm twenty. you know, and surely I've fin-
ished my education T Festive, mamma (by no /
mans prepared to act the part of chaperone
and walIfower) mot vet, nv love. So.
ciety is 80 hollow! I really must preserve that
sweet girlish freshness of yours q. little while
longcr!" as III as
Rev. w. H. H. Murray says: Zone of the
happiest points In conception sof heaven ia
that 1t is large enough to enable me to dodge
q great many people" This appears to have
been, year or two ago, one of the happies
points in Mr.. Murray's conception of this
world. l's7T = -
The Galveston boy is progressive. m,
was standing In a crowd of boys on the side.
walk. when his mother called him to 90 down
town and bring llera demijohn of whiskey.
The boy was too busy to GO 9Ihut he called
out. '.Send the old man; I've got considerable
confidence in him."
Beg pardon, hut New Haven people s,en,
soundly while Salie Bernhardt passed tbrou n
the city. Such Indifference can only be. nc
counted for by the fact that we are univer.
sity town.-New Haven Register. That's
IL! II !; had been Soldene'stroupe. the vim q
college would have been at the depot II Dan
bury Eesos s-sig 'lp
No. Miss Anthony, woman does not want !
the ballot. She wants something tn hnv
Christmas presents with. And by st. Bird.
OF Boutwell,, she shall have i'll How much
Carolineg What! Dear woman. what on !
earth doyoq want of al that much money 2
Here's afdoiIar and eighty cents; be frugal
with it; get me some new handkerchiefs and
. stick Of ponade, and buy some things {, +
the children with The rest of It,. Don't lose
the change That's what keeps the men of
America poor, Miss Anthony !; domestic liber-
atty. & !.
A scientific journal explains. in a long artis
Gle. How thunder storms come ups We
haven't read the article, but we know how 4
they come up. They wait until the Sunday /
schos'l picnic reaches the grove, aud gets fairly
% business ~ copenhagen. swinging, fiirta
ton, cruquet and other inuocent games and
and then they come up like thunder and light.
ring. Il takes the average thunder storm not
more than ten minutes 10 come I'D Ia the
psiGhborhood Of picnic. =