The weekly miner. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1878-1881, 1880-06-08
CHIPS.

Gladstone has had several applications from
Ohio for positions in the treasury department.
N. Y. Commercial Adrertiser.
A Boston ice-c9rt driver says that the size
Of the lump left 1t the kitchen door depends
considerably on lie good OF bad looks of the
cook.
a great many men who start out to reform
the world leave themselves of torthe last job.
-Middletoun Transcript.
Every circus this season will have its wild
Zulu along, thus giving employment to many
respectable cOlored mel.
Some females haye just been arrested in
Kentucky for the manufacture of illicit
whisky. This is the first recorded instance
Of a woman keeping still.
A woman at Des Moines has a hen which
she declares to be twenty-eight years old.
More than fifty hotel-keepers have sought to
buy the fowl.
Two French Senators meet: 81 have just
come from the Senate. The sitting lasted
three hours "What passed." "Three
hours
They say that a drink of Council Bluffs
whisky will make a Nebraska man 90 off to
some selected spot and rob himself. But
there is the consoling thought that he won't
be able to steal much.
A Cincinnati mule deliberately walked into
the river and held his head under water until
he drowned. Even a mule gets tired Of liv-
ing in Cincinnati.-B0stOn Post. ,
Denver is Dragging about a resident who is
gradually turning to stone while yet alive,
but he is nothing compared to lots of chaps
who turned to brass soon after they were
born.
Country editors are looking over their files
to see what weights and dimensions they gave
to early vegetables last year.. They don't
purpose going under anything already on
irecord. Their motto is Excelsior"
The Detroit papers are sagely discussing the
question, "Where 4 boy should be spanked"
We don't know where a boy should be
spanked in these days, but we do know where
they were spanked d few years ago. 1t is i'm
possible for our recollection to forget herself
in a matter of this kind.-Atldnta Consttu-
ton.
Ono, parson, ] prob'iy shall never git cour-
age to jlne the church. When a poor darky's
spi'tual wiser takes him down in de ribber an
says: i capSiZa tllee,' and then ducks him
under, tstime that darcy looks arter himself.
You don't play none Oh dem games on me,
old man" .
"Triplets,'' said a doctor srntentiously.
The husband Of 4 Year rushed out upon the
back porch. thought upon his slender income,
%Iared upon the Snow-clal yard, pXclaiming
with a wild, mocking laugh. 'SOn-struck in
January.'
y husband ~telrgraphel to his wife. What
have you for breakfast, and how is the baby >"
The answer came, "BuckwheaL cakes aud the
measles
NMhen at the jug so often does he pull
That it is empty and the man is full.
Him does the peelcr to he station lug.
ANA, Tor his health. pats him within the jag.
A young Boston lawyer, who didn't believe
in the immortality Of the soul. was induced
Oh one occasion to nix cider with his whisky,
and he has been a member Of the church ever
since.
A friend writes from the Colorado noun
tains to say that he got as ravenous as a raven
among the ravines, and sat down in one of
the gorgeous sorgeS and gorged himself.
A minister once told Wendell Phillips hat
if his business in life was to save the negroes,
be ought to go to the South, where they were,
and do it. THAT is worth thinking Of" re-
Piled Phillips; land what is YOU business
IN llte?' "To save men from gong to hell"
replied the minister. Then 60 there and
attend to y0ur business said Phillips.
Two miners, who had formerly been init
mate associates, but who had not seen each
other for a good while, met the other day.
After passing the usual greetings one remarked
to the other: 'lf the Lord spares me, I'll
come an see thoc next day A third miner,
happening to come up at the time, heard the
remark and said "Aa think the Lord will
be badly off for hands if he can not spar 6
thoo.'