davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-11-03
Mr.. Smiley Rebels

The neighbors hadn't seen Mr.. Smiley
hobble around into the back yard so lively
for over a year. A hasty glance at the
clothes line, and he stumbled up the steps
burriedIy and remarked excitedly:
sHannah, that ere garment will have to
come of the line at once. H'sa all over town
that a rebel flag is flying in my ysrd-
..WelIi law sakes. That's MY last win
ter,s balmoral summing TO clear out the
moths"
..Sunning or no summing, haimorai or
wbareyer 1t is, it must come down.
..Ichabod Smiley, do you think | am a
fool inst because they are making game OF
Won down 10 Smailbeer's grocery store
That balmoral stays there, rebel flag or no.
..Then I'll take it down myself, and ne
reached for the first clothes pin.
..See here. Ichabod, That flag as you
csu II rules this family. You rebel IT you
dare" And the neighbors who had gath
cred around the back yard fence were treat
cd 10 the interesting tableau of mop handle
w;sIded by Hannah Smiley's strong 6ul
t,eckled arm. crushing in the white plug
bat that fcr years had been the emoie4n oi
Mr. smiley's respectabili'y.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-11-03
AUTUMN Tokens.

Dy the golden dresmful weather.
BY the birds that hy together.
Dark against the radiant sky,
By the silence growing deeper,
By the resting of the reaper,
Pleasant GAYS are drawing nigh
By the vagrant vsy-si3e brier,
Fhngns far i-s tangled fire,
By the forests motley line.
Ros ri oak and nipple splendid.
Holding stately court, attended
IS for pageant Iicl and fins
By the sisters. incense bringing.
By the morning -slories' swinging,
AND the spicy fragrance shed
From The grape. whose purple cluster
Captive holds the vivid luster
Of the summer scarcely fed
P.eassnt days a'e coming nearer,
Days when bome will seem the dea;sf
1tat its circle smaller grown,
IN its lsppy talk snd laughter.
y. .ts sigh, low stealing after.
Nsrrows to enfold its OWL
B!ithe, for music, work al study
Then Hlll glow the b. srth iame ruddy.
VIA, though VII the winds may blow
Always there is golden wosthsr
Were true hears are net together,
Though without be storm and snow.
All the Autumn's wondrous shading,
Rpened hues. and gentle fading.
and the binds that southwark fiy.
Speak TO US with sign aud token,
Say, IL words We hear. unspoken.
Pleasant Gays are drawing nigh
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-11-03

The BEST soil for wheat is rich
limestone clay loan we'll plowed and
narrowed and made fine. Wheat needs
lime TO stiffen the straw and give the
berry a clear, clean, bright look, and
the lime opens, lightens, and warns
the soil.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-11-03

"CAN give my son a college educa-
tion at homer" asks a fond parent.
Certainly. All You want is base ball
guile, racing shell, and package OF
cigarettes.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-11-03

"Ir's not the phisky a man drinks
that makes him dizzy, said o 'Flaherty,
"bat it's lukin' at the bartinder's dia-
mond through the bottom iv the tum-
blers. be gorra"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

A morning cotemporary says !:
"Ed Niles, of the Carson Times,
was in town yesterday. He will
shortly enlarge, and come out as
evening paper" 1t will be very
interesting when Mr.. Niles spreads
himself out to thirty-two column
size, gets a new Roman head and
walks down town every evening
with double-leaded editorials on
his shirt front, church notices
printed in mipion on the knees OF
his trowsers, patent medicine ad-
vertisements displayed on his en-
larged stomach, and political As
sociated Press dispatches on his
coat tails. The idea is novel, and
Mr.. Niles will undoubtedly have a
large circulation, limited only by
his pedestrian abilities.--Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

"Ten dimes make one dollar"
said the schoolmaster. "Now 60
on, sir. Ten dollars make one
what ?" "They make one mighty
glad these times" replied the boy
and the teacher, who hadn't got
his last months salary yet, con-
cluded that the boy was about
right.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

A bride of q month went to a
married lady of a quarter of a
year and said: "My darling says
that women are FOOLS" "Never
mind" said the other, "he is only
studying nouns, wait until he
reaches adjectives. s."-New York
Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The owner of a pair of bright
eyes says that the prettiest COM
pliment she ever received came
from a child of 4 years. The lit
tie fellow, after looking intently at
her eyes a moment, inquired,
naively: "Are your eyes new
ones?"
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

At the fire last week, it was said
that some one had cut the fire.
mems hose in two places. If true,
it was too bad, and the only way
to prevent recurrence of the out
rage, is for the firemen to wear
boots, and then i'll disposed per-
sons can't cut their stockings.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

1t must have been an exception
ally dull boy, even for Troy boy,
who was persuaded to work a
wheelbarrow under the impression,
as stated by his father, that it was
an improved kind of bicycle
Albany Times.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

at looks like the scene of q
great BATTLE" remarked traveller,
viewing the work of recent cy-
clone at the West. EYES," said
the native solemnly, and without
removing his pipe, "the place was
TUX by storm" Boston Trans
cript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

swell, MISTAKES will happen
in the best regulated families" as
the old gentleman remarked upon
hearing that the tall and slender
young man had stolen his child
away.--Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

"How do you like me now y
asked belle of her spouse, as she
sailed into the room with her long
train sweeping behind her. "Well,"
said he, "to tell the truth it is i'm
possible for me to like you any
longer."-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Because strawberries are small,
it does not follow that there are
more of them to the quart, for the
quart is frequently made smaller
to match the strawberries.-New
Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

A nee efess, speaking of one Of
her children who was lighter col
ored than the rest, said: al never
could bear that brat, cause he
show dirt so easy. y."-Ex.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The law against carrying con-
cealed weapons does not apply to
bicycles. They are revolvers, but
they avoid cart ridges and never
60 off Observation-Disclosures
Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

A wealthy manufacturer of Con-
necticut having built an elegant
and wishing to take a
second wife, said to his architect {:
(Which agrees best with brick and
brown stone, a brunette or a
blonde p
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

When reform spelling becomes
universal, dime novel hero can
write: 81 kun Nv prowd an
hotty rase" without giving him
self dead away as regards his early
education.-New Orleans Picay-
une
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

It is only the female misquito
that bites, but when a man gets a
chance to belt one with towel,
he's going to do 1t without stop
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Dudley Buck has composed q
new song entitled 1.-THE Proposal"
It's probably written in the key
Of "Be mine, ah i'-Pittsburgh
Telegraph.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23
ApvEuTrsrve usrvs.

Business Cards, one year, one dollar for every
line.
Local Notices ten cents per line each insertion,
and all notices continued for three months OF
longer, a discount Of % per cent.
Advertisements unaccOmpanied by written or
verbal directions will be published three months
Advertisements, under contract, ordered out bes
fore expiration OF time, will be charged full IHt g.
Nopapcr discontinued until all arrearnges al
paid, except at the option of the publisher.
Transient advertisements must be paid in adS
vance
40 Terms. CASH. payable quarterly.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Talented individuals who have
golden opinions are never averse
to exchanging them for greenbacks
or even trade dollars.-Boston
Courier.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

When the publishers dress their
beautiful new hooks in blue and
gold they cannot expect them to
be red.-New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Professor.-"What is the funda-
mental condition of existence 7"
Student.--"Time." Professor
"How do you explain that 2" Stu
dent.-"Very easily. How can a
person exist if he hasn't time for
it ?'-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

I know he's an old bachelor, horrid, grumpy
thing,
A nasty, spiteful, cross-grained, ugly fright
I wish, John, that such callers 10 your wife you
would not bring;
You know as well as do it's not right.
Why do think him singlel Why! oh, John,
I'll have IA fit,
Did not hear, you stupid, youl He called
dear buby "Ir."-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Grace.-"I am going to see Clara
to-day. Have you any message T.
Charlotte.-"I wonder how you can
visit that dreadful girl. Give her
nv love."-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

He told her to set her day, and
she Saturday for her "Wednesday.
Whitehall Times.
And when she had to pick day
to fry meat, she choose Friday.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Some men can't take a cold
without blowing about it.-Boston
Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The good census enumerator has
taking ways.-Pbiladelphia Chron-
icle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Virtue comes in small packages,
but vice by the baleful.-New
York News.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The bakers morning cry is a
roll call.-N. Y. Herald.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

ping to inquire its gender.-Bos-
ton Post.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

A journalistic fight-a paper
mill.-Rome Sentinel.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Freckles are not so bad. It is
said that one girl does not object
to seeing them on another girls
face.-New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The Philadelphia Chronicle
knows an organ grinder who is so
suspicious that he compels his
monkey to carry a milk punch.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Before man was an ape he was a
vegetable. Probably a sort Of a
chimpansy.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

OF all summer clothing the
straw hat is at the head.-Fond du
Lac Reporter.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The politician who figures him
self into Office is a work-in-man.-
Rome Sentinel.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Man can not add one cubit to
his own statue, but he can make q
horse stall.-Cincinnati CONNER
cial
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

A foot race would be long dis
tance for snail.-New Orleans Pi-
cayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The man who was hemmed in by
a crowd has been troubled with a
stitch in the side.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The battles of the upion-fight
between husband and wife.-Phil-
adelphia Sunday Item.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Ships are expected to enter the
open Polar Sea by the Howgate.-
New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

"What is your favorite gem, Sa-
rah Z" Sarah replied demurely /:
"a gate."--Rome Sentinel.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The jockey leans on the 2:40
gait.-Boston Transcript. And
the candidate leans on the dele
gate.-Cincinnati Commercial.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

An Oil City girl, whose new
beau is a clerk in dry-goods store,
told a friend she had got a new
calico wrapper.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The English general in South
Africa dates his last report from
Ubagme. Doesn't this sound like
a defeat?-Andrews Queen.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

No, "Adonis," no young lady
spurns cool treatmeant when a
vanilla ice is the cool treat ment.-
Marathon Independent.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

The man who was told he was
dying by inches said he didn't care
so long as he had two feet left
Boston Transcript.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23
WI. II. MAIDEN, III. ID.

PHYSICIAN, SURGEON, GYNECoLoGIsT
&C., Late Asst. Surgeon u. 8. Army; Examining
Surgeon for U. s. Pensioners and all the princi-
pal Life Insurance Cos. Residence and Office on
Second st., nearly opposite the Union House.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23
formerly Chicago & Lake Huron.)
Condensed Time-Ta able.

All trains daily except sunday
Div. Snpt., Bay City. Genl Man, Detroit
f.. C. BROWN, Asst Gen'l Supt., Jackson
HENRY C.. WENTWORTH,
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23
~CAuTIoN.~

Beware OF limitations See that the name Of ~
W. Kinsman Is in the glass Of the bottle.
,sold by druggists aud dealers. Price, nc, Scs
and 51c- t5syi
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23
WIT AND HUMOR.


WIT AND HUMOR.
I know he's an old bachelor, horrid, grumpy
thing,
A nasty, spiteful, ross-grained, ugly fright
I wish, John, that such callers TO your wife you
would not bring;
You know as well as do it's not right.
Why do think him snglel Why! Oh, John,
I'll have fit
Did not hear, you stupid, you' He called
dear baby "Ir."-Free Press.
A journalistic fight-a paper
mill.-Rome Sentinel.
The bakers morning cry is a
roll call.-N. Y. Herald.
The good census enumerator has
taking ways.-Pbiladelphia Chron-
icle.
Some men can't take a cold
without blowing about it.-Boston
Transcript.
Virtue comes in small packages,
but vice by the baleful.-New
York News.
A foot race would be long dis
tance for snail.-New Orleans Pi-
cayune.
OF all summer clothing the
straw hat is at the head.-Fond du
Lac Reporter.
The politician who figures him
self into Office is work-in-man.-
Rome Sentinel.
The battles of the upion-fght
between husband and wife.-Phil-
adelphia Sunday Item.
Ships are expected to enter the
open Polar Sea by the Howgate.-
New Orleans Picayupe.
"What is your favorite gem, Sa-
rah Z" Sarah replied demurely
"a Rome Sentinel.
The man who was hemmed in by
a crowd has been troubled with a
stitch in the side.-Free Press.
Before man was an ape he was a
vegetable. Probably a sort of a
chimpansy.-Pbiladelphia Bulletin.
Man can not add one cubit to
his own statue, but he can make q
horse stall.-Cincinnati CONNER
cial.
The man who was told he was
dying by inches said he didn't care
so long as he had two feet left
Boston Transcript.
No, "Adonis," no young lady
spurns cool treatmeant when a
vanilla ice is the cool treat ment.-
Marathon Independent.
The English general in South
Africa dates his last report from
Ubagme. Doesn't this sound like
a defeat ?-Andrews Queen.
An Oil City girl, whose new
beau is clerk in dry-goods store,
told friend she had got a new
calico wrapper.-Free Press.
The jockey leans on the 2:40
gait.-Boston Transcript. And
the candidate leans on the dele
gate.-Cincinnati Commercial.
The Philadelphia Chronicle
knows an organ grinder who is so
suspicious that he compels his
monkey to carry a milk punch.
Freckles are not so bad. It is
said that one girl does not object
to seeing them on another girls
face.-New Orleans Picayune.
When the publishers dress their
beautiful new hooks in blue and
gold they cannot expect them to
be red.-New Orleans Picayune.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

ed in tie Interest Of Alepa County, and for tie Editors Profit
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-06-23

Has received the endorsement and rccomnends-
tion Of emminent Physicians and Scientific Men
every where il has been INTRODUCED.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1880-03-31

those who habitually neglect to ,contri-
butte to this cause, and also for those with
whom the collection is merely perfume
tory exercise Last year there we're 500
churches which made no collection and
in several hundred of the contributing
churches the average contribution was
about ten cents or under, and in many,
not more than two or three cents per mem
Der. If the Lord will open the hearts of
all these to give according as He has
prospered them, and those which are al
ready doing what they can shall continue
to do so, a brighter day will soon dawn
upon the work.
a. That all Christians shall at this
time make their offerings to the Lord
after earnest prayer for guidance, and
looking to God for His blessing upon
them and their gifts 1t may be that
some will find that on account of changed
circumstances or imperative obligations
which 1t would be sin to neglect, they
Will not be able to give as much as here
tofore, but who can doubt that this can
did and heart-searching dealing with
themselves will reveal to others that they
have hitherto come short both of their
duty and privilege, and ought to do more
tor God and His Church and the perish
ing millions Of the earth
The present crisis demands honest and
truthful consideration. 1t can hardly be
doubted that the Church has sufficient
ability Gf it be sanctifed) to enlarge the
work at once. Let us seek this great
blessing from the Lord, and while we
pray, each for himself and his brother,
let every one take heed that he give in
simplicity and godly sincerity, as unto
the Lord, and not unto man.
j. LEIGHTON WILSON,
RICHARD, MCILwAINE,
Secretaries.
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1880-03-31
Prayer in View of the Annual Collection
for Foreign Missions.
Mission Rooms,
BALTIMORE, March "a, 1880.
he Editors Of Central Presbyterian.

To the Editors Of Central Presbyterian:
In the February number of the Ms
S1onory, the fact was stated that the
prayer of the Church has for long time
been that God would give access to the
heather, and that it had been marvel
lously heard and answered. 1t was also
stated that much prayer had been offered
that God would raise up and qualify men
to 60 forth as heralds of the Cross to these
darkened nations, and that here, too, the
divine faithfulness had showed itself in
conterrlng upon more of our young men
the grace to offer themselves for this
work than the Church has means at her
disposal to send.
In view of these impressive and stimu-
lating facts, the suggestion is ventured
that the thing for which special PRAYER
should now be made is, that God would
pour out upon His people spirit of con
secratlon OF themselves and their sub
stance to this cause. What is wanted to
make the gifts already conferred availa-
bic Tor the extension of truth and the
glory of God is larger means for sending
out men, and for more thoroughly equip
ping those already in the field And can
1T be doubted, if we ask God for this bless
ing also, that he will in faitbfulness hear
our prayer and bestow the gift? We
think not. Surely it is for the honor of
His name, for the welfare of His Church.
for the best interests of Christians them
selves, and for the salvation of the lost.
that this thing shall be done. We have.
then, the best reason to believe that if
this suggestion be adopted and "fervent
eiiectual prayer be made, we will be
heard and the needed means be supplied
This is Gods work in which we are en-
gagged. 1t IS His people who are con
cerned in carrying it forward, and who
must supply the means, and we may be
sure that in answer to our supplications
lie who has all hearts in His hands will
dispose His children to consecrate to Him
OF their substance enough to advance it
IN those proportions which their duty and
His honor demand
The following specific recommendation
seem called for:
~ That this matter be made the sub
Ject Of special prayer at the ensuing
monthly concert, and that it be adopted as
one OF the usual topics at these meetings.
w. In churches in which the monthly
concert is rot held, special prayer for
this object shall be offered during April
C3) That blessing shall be sought for
The central Presbyterian. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1856-1908, 1880-03-31

king of volcanoes, Mt Etna, with base
more than seventy-fve miles in circum-
ference, from which it towers more than
three thousand feet into the air. 1t was
covered with snow from the base up to
the dark line which marked the lower
edge of the crater, and the banner of
smoke which waved it's top and swept
away in a thousand fantastic folds was
glorious to behold. Long after dark we
could see the reflection of its lurid light
upon the clouds
HOTEL D EUROPA Alexandria, /
March llth
had the greatest difficulty in writing
the concluding pages of the foregoing
The forenoon on which commenced nv
letter was very pleasant, and the sea
was remarkably calm, but the clouds
suddenly gathered and heavy gale
came on from the east l had been writ
ing on deck and went below to continue
my letter, but owing to the pitching of
the vessel and the great eommotion,
found it very difficult to write legibly.
If your proof-reader finds it task to cor
rect the MS, and if your readers detect
any incoherence in my narration they
will know how to make all due allow
ances. [ may as we'll say here that they
must take my communications as they
find them, for | will always be compelled
to write in haste, without revision, and
often under circumstances most unfavor-
able for composition of any kind.
We are grateful for being safe on land
once more. Owing to the storm we could
not come into harbor last night, but had
to beat about until o'clock this morn
ing in the open sea. We learn that the
steamer Travancore" of the Oriental
and Peninsular line, was wrecked in the
gale Of yesterday, near Otranto, but the
passengersand the mails were all saved.
Dr. Schaff, in his interesting book,
Through Bible Lands" ftly describes
the scene witnessed on landing at Alex
andria. The Babel of nationalities and
tongues, the shouting and the fighting of
of turbaned, bare-legged boatmen and
donkey boys, the pictures gave dresses
of all shapes and colors, the poverty and
wretchedness, the everlasting cry back
sheesh which here greets us for the first
time-all is novel and exciting" Thus
we enter the far-famed city where the
Septuagint translation of the Hebrew
Scriptures was made, where St. Mark
founded church, where Clement and
Origen expounded the gospels, and where
Athanasius, alone against the world
defended the eternal deity of our Lord
as the cornerstone of the Christian faith
and hope" M. d. Fl