Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-12-16
Anmuruas Repartment.
A SLIGHT INDISP0SITION.

A SLIGHT INDISP0SITION.
That's better" groaned Mr.. Spoopendyke,
as his wife arranged the cool pillows under
his head; "now can die looking out upon
the trees and the sky" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
assumed resigned expression of visage, and
gazed out of the corner of one eye upon q
bare ailanthus tree and half dozen tele-
graph wires.
"Oh! you won't die," said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke cheerfully. you're only little sick,
and you'll get over it,
That's all you know about it," snarled
Mr. Spoopendyke. "To hear you talk, one
would think you only had to be fitted up with
little beds and bad smell to be govern
ment hospital. I'm down sick. I tell ye, and
! don't want any fooling about it."
"Wel, WE'LL" cooed Mrs. Spoopendyke,
"dont excite yourself. Keep quiet and you'll
get we'll"
much you'd care" muttered Mr.. Spoopen.
dyke, turning on his side and resting his
cheek on his hand, an attitude generally as
sumed by martyred spirits on the approach
of dissolution.
"Will you take your drops again, dear? ?
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. Its time tor
them"
"No, 1 won't. They're nasty. I haven't
had anything but drops for week. From
the way you administer drops one would
. think you was trap for hanging machine
Gimme some figs"
"But there amt any figs. dear. I'll 60 and
get you some," said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
That's it," growled her husband. "You
only want an excuse to leave me to die alone
Why haven't ye got some figs? You might
know I'd want figs. Got any citron?'
"No, haven't any citron !; but won't be
more than minute away, and Ill get you
any fruit you want"
"Oh! yes. You'd get it, no doubt. What
you want is rail fence around you and
gate off the hinges to be dod gasted or
chard. Fetch me some Strawberries:
"Why, strawberries are out of season
There amt any in the market now"
II supposed you'd say that" moaned Mr.
Spoopendyke. you've always got some ex
cuse. III should die you'd have an apology
ready. Gimme something to take this taste
out of my mouth"
"What would you like dear ?" asked Mrs
spoopendyke:
"Soap, dod gast it! gimme soap, if ye
can't think of anything else," demanded Mr.
Spoopendyke. "Mebbe you amt got any
soap. At least you wouldn't have if I want
ed it. Got any cherries ?"
mo They are out of season, too. There
are some grapes in the closet"
Don't want any measly grapes. II
can't have what l want. don't want it
Where's those drops? Why don't you give
me my medicine? Going to let me die fol
want of little attention? Want the life in
surance don't ye? Going to gimme those
drops before the next election ?"
Mrs Spoopendyke ladled out the dose, hall
of which went down Mr. Spoopendykes gul
let and half over the front of his night shirt
"That's it," he howed. "Spill 'em. They're
for external application. Put 'em anywhere
Pour em up the chimney" and Mr.. jSpoo
pendyke fired the spoon across the room.
"Have piece Of orange to take the taste
away?" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, pleasantly
"No, won't" objected her spouse. "Gim
me piece Of muskmelon."
81 don't believe they have muskmelons
now" sighed Mrs Syoopendyke.
"Of course they don't" reasoned Mr.. Spoo
pendyke. "They don't have anything when
I'm sick It's wonder they have houses
It's miracle that they have beds. I'm as
founded to think they have doctors and drug
stores. I've got to hurry up and die, or they
won't have any undertakers, or cofins, OF
graves. Gimme piece of orange, will ye
S'pose I'm going to lie here and chsw on the
taste of those drops for month ?"
YOU'D like these grapes" suggested his
wife
mo, 1 wouldn't either What do you
want me to eat 'em for?" Got any interest
in the grape trade? Get any commission on
those grapes? Anybody pay ye to make me
eat EN-? One would think you only wanted
an iron arbor and four small boys climbing
over you to be q grape vine. Where's my
pill?'
"You took your pill, DEAR" replied his pa
tient wife.
"Oh, of course! A pill is out of season
now. Can't even have pill when feel like
it," and Mrs. Spoopendyke groaned in spirit
and looked dismal. "Now sit down and
don't move. l want to sleep. Don't you
make hit of noise, if you want me to live"
And Mrs. Spoopendyke held her breath
and never rustled a feather while her hus-
band lay and glared out of the window for an
hour and a half-Brookyn Eagtc.