The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-01-01

y
day., Il may be safe enough to catch a
butterfly at the south end, but when
YOU 90 to grab a wasp you want to catch
it at the northeasterly end sgls
iaWHAT is statesmanship? asks the
Chicago lnter- Ocean. Statesmanshlp,
we believe, is the peculiar gift some
men have of robbing the government
without being caught. - Philadelphia
Chronicle.
Let us, then, be up and clipping,
With an eye for every jest;
Still a-pasting, still a-snpping,
Fill our paper with the best; M
WHEN the heel of shoe has been
pared down to the size of Knitting
needle, the whole female world will be
happy-yery happy, and instead OF the
word segait" you'll see the ternf "wob-
bic. e."-Deiroit Free Press. s1,, asf 4s.sss
A COUNTRY correspondent sends us
the following soul-harrowing conun-
drunk Why do pigs thrive better on !
sour milk than they do ON sweet? And
the answer is--beeause they get moreof
.e'Tis rather neat upon your feet - s's
asn A pair of skates TO find.
IT'S rather drear upon your ear -
sla aa When skates slip up behind = t.s,a
A WOMAN who was called as witness
in an assault case tried in the Edinburgh
police court recently, on being asked
by the magistrate what was the profess
sion of her husband, answered, prompt
", ssMy husband is a bankrupt, sir"
1oWHAT the dickens do you call your
mule Ann for p asked q tourist of a
western teamster. "Wall," said the
interrogated, 'sit's the nigh mule of the
par ans 1 tux the name out'n the Scrip
ter-An, nigh ass. ."-Pike's Peak Peac
Opener.
ONE of our Boston preachers said
Sunday afternoon: .sThe little good
anv of us can do must be done with our
hearts thumping against the hearts of
our fellow man. And, every young
woman in church looked at every other
young woman and smiled approvingly.
sMARIA,". observed Mr.. Holcomb, as
he was putting on his clothes, "there
amt no patch on my breeches yet II
can't fix it now, no way. Pm too busy"
aWell. give me the patch then, an I'll
carry it around with me- don't want
people to think Lean afford the cloth. /"
MATRoN, to her boy. screaming,
"Willie, how long are you going to keep
my toothbrush ?' ssI'm through with
II nanny. Sallie's using it now"
ssTelI Sallie to bring it here immedl-
ata1v. that cirl won't have any teeth
LEFT If she keeps ON scrubbing them."-
Louisville Courier Journal
|. PRoFEssoR-"Wha does that express
sion representa- Student THAT is the
sum of the moments of the elements"
!Professor--aSay it again" Student re-
lneats Professor--aThat's it. Pm
roing to have YOU say that over
Until Iimpress it on your, mind as they
brand T. s. on a mule.-Acta Columbian.
THEY met, twas on the street ''-
..obs such bonnets m9s thought sti, the e, one
Yet Yet thew asesi did haU1i tslI2 81 IA' ~. f..z
Together walk
And kissed eacn 0'nefs Sstroa cnss ~ Fss Press
,s r., - = swvbo hald . loaded MIS-
:, 49, ~. haaa E md thrrataned rat to blow
tol " nls 1o@u .I.'+ha r;ri ,,,i,o had
nis oralhs ou. anid uHt1 eoSsent sae 70 - b"ye him
leIuseu anr n.M ta,d Md1iH /. ~ ths vomns iaav he
was 1J 49, ~. - hlow some hrains into his
5 mouat frat r II Ha d;dn,t Observation-Disclosures
HSaa USs'..Ja., [ N;obt
oosa,""y 4,'s ,a
es, ! knoweo gamolins vas s1ppOo
IN os. LOUIS, iemarAGu 4.nsd sl,u s.dHnsu,, nxa,
as IN tne gray y. ua~ Ia : haIf s,;r of
q neckie, Two penIi1s ai.,a..d anI h;s ch.nce of %
caI .lckeI, snu pn1hn;1se oiIa .shr. M ~ 4hat,ara
ge.ung oack 49, ~ nutp tps nIsce G tSsx ~ over.
must nase "eon sn0 p''s wv ~
IOOk0u. 4Fsft Al ft1E s4'er r - Nfs