The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1880-03-12
VARIETIES.

Mamma, can't we have anything we
wantY "Ies, my dears. But be careful
and don't want anything you can't have"
"A young lady, on being asked where her
native place was, replied, II have none; am
the daughter of a Methodist minister"
"A narrow escape was that of the miser
who, giving way to sudden freak of liberal
ity, put his hand into his pocket and found
that he had luckily left all his loose change
at home.
Upright Legisator-"What, sir You
take me for one who can be bribed? You
insult my sense of honor. But in case Ireal-
ly was such a man, how much would you
give?"
Magistrate: "Do you know if the priso-
ner had any provocaton before he commit
ted the assault ?" Witnsss-"Wcll sir, can
not be certain on that point, exactly, but
dare say he might have had a glass or two"
q never thought but once" said old
Deacon Webbing, shat it was a sin to steal
an umbrella" "And when was that ?" asked
friend. at was when some pesky thief
stole my new silk one" answered the dea-
con.
-Customer-"What did you think of the
Bishops sermon on Sunday, Mr.. Wigsby ?"
airdresser-"Well, really, sir there was
gent sittin in front o me as 'ad lis air
parted that crooked that / couldn't ear
wore"
"A witty lady was told by gentleman of
her acquaintance that che must have been
born with silver spoon in his mouth
She looked at him carefully, and upon rea-
LIKING the size of his mouth, replied ~ don't
doubt it {; but it must have been soup-la-
die"
-"See that my graves kept green" he
warbled under the window of his fair ones
domicil one pleasant night last week. "rll
tend to the grave business, young man."
shouted her father, as he poked an old mus
ket out OF the econd-story window. No
more concert that evening.
"A military officer wanted to compliment
negro by drinking with him. "Well, cap
tain" replied Cuff, Use very dry, so won't
be ugly, about it. Some niggers is too proud
to drink with milishy ossifcr-but think
milishy ossifer, when sober, is Just as good as
nigga-'specially if the nigga is dry"
A congregation, anxious to get rid of
their pastor, were considerably perpleyed
how to do it without hurting his feelings
After considerable trouble they concluded to
inform him they were obliged to reduce his
salary. A delegate was appointed to wait on
and notify him of this fact Brother" was
the reply, ~ have been with you in prosperi-
ty, and will never desert you in adversity"
". J. Express.
AN INCIDENT OF THE WAR.-In the
midst of the great events of the war such in
cidcnts as the following were comparatively
unnoticed, and left to be long afterward re-
lated in print: Miss Annie Pickens, daugh-
ter of the Governor of South Carolina was to
be married on April 90, 1868, in Charleston,
to Lieut.. Andrew De Rochelle The wedding
party was assembled in the Pickens residence,
and the clergyman was asking the bride if
she was ready, when a shell from Union
gun in the harbor broke into the room and
burst. Nine persons were hurt, but only
Miss Pickenss wound proved mortal. She
bore the pain with wonderful fortitude, and
was unmoved when informed that she had
only an hour or two to live De Rochelle
said that he would like to have her die his
wife, and the poor girl smiled sadly in assent.
The guests remember the scene as far more
pitiful than they can describe The bride Law
on sofa, her white dress dabbled in blood
and her hair dishevelled, while her pallid face
was so wrung with agony that her efforts to
smile became futile. The ceremony was hur-
riedly performed though the brides "Yes"
was in faint, labored whisper, and her lips
hardly moved in response to her husbands
kiss. She died Immediately afterward