Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-15
CHANCES.

lOUNG ladies' 20 on rabbit NUNS
around Columbus, Georgia.
FlrrKES is believed by the Buffalo
Express to be a cipher dispatch.
The New Orleans Piodyne thinks
that the Czar would like 10 b. Charlie
Ross.
NoRFH CARoLINA has been startled by
strange sights and sounds in the heav-
ems
THE Louisville COurieT-Journai alIudcs
10 Jane Swishelm as that terrible NO
man
lTHE Elmira Free Press believes that
Billy Patterson was the victim OF the
game oi Fifteen"
Ma. THoMAs WRIGLEY, Of Timber
hurst, England, has left by will
c25. 900 To- various Unitarian institu-
tons.
ACCORDING to Don Piatt, Adam aud
Eve made the largest bridal tour on rev
ard They never got home again.
ARLAcK man who labors by the day
At odd Jobs in Columbus, Georgia, is u
brother Of "Blind Tom" the musical
prodigy.
"AsHAD "a "a March Hare is a COM
mon cxpression. What a March hare
can find to be mad at this year we can
not Sec LoTcN Coarler.
Tue man is net necessarily brave
who know nothing about fear. Tie may
he fool who knows nothing about any
thing Nee Orleans Pycay'"e.
THE Troy Pros, with n laudible de-
sire for the welfare aud happiness otthe
gentler sex, saws: Continue 10 look
under the bed, girls, every night before
retiring.
THE BOsioa TrmScrip suggests clrcu-
lating libraries ia railroad trains, recall
ing the Scriplural adage that he who
runs may read, il lac doesn't run away
with the book.
An Iowa editor committed suicide 10y
holding his head ia a bucket oi water.
Somebody, we presume, had been al
vising him to "gO and soak hts head. -
JsiSey City Journal
TuE Bible recommends us not to look
upon the wine while IL is red, and a
great many men obey strictly. They
close their ewes and drink lt.-PhId-
delI,kia Chronicle Herald
PRIScE LEoroLp is coming over to
kill some buifalOs. The New York
Commercial wants to know what the
moor buiIalos have done to him that he
should wish to slaughter them.
Tax fact is becoming more apparent
every day that this world WAS not made
for any particular reason, but SIMPLY
for the benefit OF u lew people who are
almighty particular Waterloo OossTrer'
Two Cincinnati women gave Joint
marty ON the thirtieth anniversary oil
their birthdays, and by way OF inden-
niiying themselves Tor the confession OF
old aye placed "NO presents retuSed
on their invitations.
TnKRE ID good sleighing in Alaska,
and the ice there is two ieet thick.
This IL the cold weather Nennor pre-
licted VennOr hits It every time rs
lar A. the weather is concerned, but he
Is trihe off in his locations. Norris
t0sya Herald.
ANEIN man put sixt cen hornets an a
whisky bottle and gave II to Texas
man IN the dark, 10 take drink out oi,
,nJ though the hornets got IN their
WORK A they went down, the. Texan re-
marked that it wasn't real Texas whisky,
a. 1t lacked fire.
"You are an ojls, hidiui hit, my
dear - said = playful mamma to her
daughter at dancing school, the other
day' "Oh, my dear Mrs. tt, sigh
81 one of her neighbors, what wouidn I
7 yive 10 have your knowledge OF
lain lr-PAIGd.l piid BsHteia-
Nkw ORLEANS men want all that be
long, no them. A dentist in that city
of,'r,,d A reward oi a set OF false teeth to
a man who would guess a certain riddle;
and the fellow Who won the priEe hSd
his own teeth, which we're pSr'Sciiy
good, yanked out, 50 that hr sonid nave
the ialse teeth put in.
Iris very sad to hear an evangelical
and religious paper like the Philadelphia
CAroaicis- Hsrdh giving vent 10 such SEN
t,m.nts A the following: Heaven u
said To be A land Of milk and honey, bot
without a little whisky, sugar and nut
me, 10 riye flavor to the milk Il will be
am nnatiractiye place Tor thousands 81
men who profess to be great Christians
Tuxxx Is one boy in this city, says the
Rochester DsnsOcrui, whose bosom Is NH
al With A pure and calm delight. For
some ofTense his father took his sled
away from him in the early part OF he
winter with the promise that he should
not have Il again until another season,
ana the boy confidentislly remarked to
a friend that this warm weather Was
the best rig on the old man he had ever
- "A