The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1880-03-10
TWAIN AND DAN DE QUlLLE.

TWAIN AND DAN DE QUILLE.
Their Great Indian Fight I'm Mcndocino
County-They Fire . Whole Printing
Omce From a Howitxor-A Typo
graphical Sedan.
It was nearly twenty years ago when
Dan De Quille and Mark Twain at
tempted to start pspar in Mendocino
county. They took the type and ma
terial OF their recently defunct newspa-
per establishment in San Francisco, and
loading the stuff on a big wagon, struck
out into the country to retrieve their
fortunes. They packed their type just
IS it stood in the fo1hs, tied up the arti.
cles with stout cords by a proc ess well
known to printers, and packing them
closely in boxes, vowed to establish a
newspaper somewhere. which would be
the leading exponent Of politics and his
tory for the Pacific coast. Had not an
unfortunate circumstance taken place it
is quite evident that the same news
paper which they contemplated
founding would have been alive to-
day. Their Journey over thesmoun-
tains was utterly uneventful until they
reached Simpsons station, spot well
known TO old travellers on that route.
Here they met a party of emigrants
making for Lower California, and the
latter had with them a small mountain
howitzer which they had brought with
them across the plains.
Twain took great fancy to this gun,
and offered $50 for it with two kegs Of
powder thrown in. The emigrants
were glad enough to part with it, as
they concluded the time for its use had
passed. Dan thought the purchase Of
the artillery and military supplies was
a reckless piece Of extravaganza and
said as much, but Twain replied:
"When we start our paper we must
fire salute. A newspaper ohice with
artillery has big bulge on the business
No well. regulated Office in California
should be without a howitzer. If q man
comes in for a retraction we can blow
him into the next county. The how
itzer goes" q.
This silenced the argument, and the
next day the two Journalists took the
road with their printing outfit and ar
iIlery.
On the next night they camped in a
mountain ravine fifteen miles from
Simpsons, and after building the usual
camp fire fell asleep, About eleven
o'clock the horses awakened them by
prancing about, and the two journalists
were led to the conclusion that nothing
less than party of Indians were max
ing ARRANGEMENTS for night attack. In
the clear moonlight they could be dis
inguish ed about half mile away at the
foot OF the ravine. The idea of encoun-
tering Indians had never entered the
heads of the two fortune.seekers. and
they had no arms. Suddenly Twain
frightened up, remarking:
"The howitzer." ...'. ~.
"We've got nothing but powder" :"
said Dan. ..u ... 49,.
"Well, powder'll scare 'em, and we'll
load her up" .
The piece was Immediately loaded
with q good big charge and the two men
felt quite certain that the Indians. hear
ing the roar of the gun, would beat an
unconditional retreat. The piece was
hardly loaded and placed in position
when about fifty of the redskins came
charging up the ravine.
Twain seized brand from the camp
fire and was about to lay it on the touch
hole, when Dan yelled hold on" as he
rammed something into the mouth OF
the piece, and remarked:
'"Turn 'er loose"
The roar of the howitzer echoed
through the lonely forests and the saw
ages, with frantic cries Of pain, reeled
down the ravine in wild confusion.
"What in the deuce did you put in?"
asked Mark.
"A column of solid nonpareil and q
couple of sticks of your spring poetry"
1.-The poetry did the business, Dan.
Get one of your geological articles ready
for the next charge and l guess it'll let
the red iends out for the present cam
The savages again advanced. Mark
attended to the powder and Dan sorted
the shot. so to speak.
"Jeems Pipes song. MY Mountain
Home" 60" .,
: "Good for three Indians; sock 'er in"
IAN acrostic by John r. Ride in long
primer"
It'll paralyze EN-"
Frank Pi1ley on the constitution,
halt column of loaded BREWER"
"If it hits 'em the day is won"
"Your leader on Law and Order. !"
"Save it as last resort"
Dan pulled the type out OF the boxes
and stuffed column after column in the
howitzer's mouth as the savages came
charging on. Another round from the
gun and the redskins rolled over and
over each other like boulders swept
away BY mountain cloud-burst. Mark,
in an ecstacy of delight, pulled an
American Gag ont of his effects, nailed
it to the tailboard of the wagon and was
about to make speech, when the dusky
figures of the foe were once more seen
moving to the attack.
The piece was again loaded, and this
time with q double charge. Marks
leader on "Law and Order" the puff of
an auction house by Fred McCrelish
("as, a sickener," Dan said), Frank
Gross verses, an agricultural article by
Sam Sebaugh, 8 maiden poetical effort
of Olive Harper, and some verses by
Colonel Cremeny and Frank Soule COM
pleted the load. .
"That poetry, reaching 'em first, will
throw 'em into confusion, and my edi-
tori.l, coming upon the heels of the rest,
will result in a lasting decentralization.
It will be like the last cavalry charge OF
the French at the battle Of Austerlitz."
For the third and last time the faith
full howitzer belched its typographical
compliments to the advancing foe. The
havoc was terrible. There was wild
veil from q score ofsavage throats and
then the low groans of the dying doated
up the ravine on the gentle wind. The
two men walked over the field of slaugh-
ter and counted fifty-six aboriginals
lying in heaps. The bodies were Ihor-
riblY mutilated with nonpareil, long
primer, two-line plea, bourgeoise, "caps,'
misery dashes, and unassorsed pl. q,
"My leader cooked that mans goose"
said Mark, pointing to a savage with
his bowels hanging over the limb OF a
cedar.
INV geological article did the busi-
ness for him." rejoined Dan, nodding
carelessly to an Indian whose head was
lying twenty yards away.
1.-THE pen is mightier than the sword"
"You bet. Hurrah for Faust and
Gutenberg" ~
rs there any type leit'"
mot pound"
Ten days later the two journalistic
tramps reached Virginia City, weary,
discouraged and footsore, and secured a
place on the E,,terprtse.--Cdrsor (Neu.)