The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-04-01

As Seen ON the FsaailFOad by the
Burlington HIavv keye Naturalist

THE sMASHER.,,
As Seen ON the RaaiIroad by the
Burlington Hawkeye Naturalist
Down the Baltimore and Ohio to-
ward Newark, Ohio, we fly. We fly
close to the ground, but all the same
it is flying.
Here comes the masher,' said the
Fat passenger His coat is dark, his
trousers are light, his collar high and
his manly throat barred to the breeze
With a lump in it like the goitre on
an old oak tree said the cross passen-
ger, and his hair parted in the middle
and his name in gilt letters on his Rus
sian leather vslise; bis eye-glass is
faultless and his front hair is banged
g And there is general indication of
something lacking in the upper story
said the tall. thin passenger, his head
slopes from the bump of self-es.eem
down to his nose forward, and runs
straight down to his neck aft. He is
light aloft, he is not brilliant, he is not
useful, he is not intelligent, he is lack
ing
There is hole in his skinner, ev-
identity said the man on the wood
box
fPaIe saffron is his neck scarf, and
brightly thereon CLEANS the twenty
cent diamond of Alaska remarked
the sad passenger; 'meagre is he in
his intellect, but fertile are his whis-
kers; fascinating beyond the song of
the siren is the melody of his voice ;
he cannot pronounce r, and the Italian
A is soft in his speech, but he says git
and sshet up and when he goeth he
says he is goin.' Sweet is his coun-
tenance, and the lone, helpless female
who gazes upon it is gone
'She is left, indeed sighed the fat
passenger.
sYou bet,' said the brakeman, ear
nestly; 'she is clear broke up
'She is paralized,' mourned the sad
passenger, 'aDd the palpitations of her
maidenly heart palp only for him.
'And he let's it palp,' said the man
with the sandy goatee $ for if he would
he could not marry all of them. He
is sorry for the girls, but he really
can not do it,
sAnd so,' said the thin passenger.
'they pine away for him ; they watch
for his coming in the car; and
their faces grow brighter when he
comes; they admire him when he
PAGES up and down the platform and
smokes the attenuated, but harmless
cigar of the odorous kraut plant of the
Connecticut plantation,h his plaid panta-
looms are day stars to their longing
eyes, and his cut-away coat they adore.
They cannot help it f; they love to have
him stare at them, and he knows it.
He is too irresistible: he is too sweet
to live, and he knows that, too
Let us look at him, also, and adj
mire him. said the fat passenger. See
how he sits, graceful as Appollo. new
lighted on a rail fence to talk politics
with the Beighbors. But soft, here
comes girl seeking seat. Maiden,
our prayers are all for thee. Too late
all i'm vain the mssher has caught her
eye her fate is sealed, her heart is lost.
She was beautiful girl, fair as the
morning, handsomely arrayed, little
gloyed hands that you would even like
to have box your ears. Drawn by the
Irresistible fascination of his inviting
eyes, she approached the masher, who
made room for her beside him. Her
eyes beamed on him in beauty only
cqualed by his own; her voice was
sweeter than the song of the siren
when she spoke TO him. She had to
speak to HIM, how could she help it {?
SIR she said, and the music of her
voice thrilled the ear sir, is this seat
engaged?
He looked up at the vision of glow
ing cheeks and laughing eyes, marble
brow and clustering curls, and he re.
Tented, even the masher's heart warm
cd toward the lovely girl, the latest
victim of his manly charms.
sOh, certainly not he said, and his
bow was a study of grace for the
steam man. 'Oh, certainly not you
are entirely welcome; shall be only
loo happy
Then cried the charmed victim,
mother, you can sit here beside this
gentleman
And an old woman, seventy-three |
If she was a day, with no teeth and
only one eye, small box, big band
box IN bag, green reticule and an
two paper bags and piece |
Of calamus root, tottered into the prof |
fered seat and sat down and piled her |
things into the young mans lap. And |
he girl, the beautiful girl, went and |
sat down beside the passenger with
he sandy goatee, who was SO bashful
hat he couldn't and didn't say a word .
20 his companion all the way to New
.rk, and blushed to his ears every
Ime the fat passenger winked at him.
Thus endeth the saddest chapter in
II the history of the masher.
Wisdom is not found with those
Who dwell at their ease; rather Ma