The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-11-17
NOVEMBER IL.
VARIETIES.

A man or Augusta ga, on recelV-
ing a doctors bill for medicine and
visits, wrote that he would pay for
the medicine and return the visits
A man need only correct himself
with the same rigor that he repre-
hends others, and excuse others with
the same indulgence that he shows
to himself
A Brooklyn man stole up behind a
lady in dark room and kissed her.
and when he found it was his wife
and she found it was her husband,
they were both as mad as wet hens.
The establishment of the lightning
when Ajax defed it was nothing as
compared to the feeling OF the young
man who makes his best bow to
bevy of young ladies and bursts
suspender button in the act.
A saloon keeper, having started
business in place where trunks had
been made asked friend what he
had better do with the old sign
"Trunk Factory" "Oh !" said the
friend. '.just change the t to D, and
it will suit you exactly
"What do you ask for that article?"
asked an old gentleman of pretty
shop girl. give dollars" "Ain't
you little DEAR" "Why," she re-
piled, "all the young men tell me So.
The old gentleman looked as though
he had been misunderstood.
The English language is wonder
full for its aptness Of expression.
When number of men and women
get together and look at each other
from the sides of room, that's called
sociable. When hungry crowd
call upon poor minister and eat
him out of house and home, that's
called a donation party.
"Why, Bridget" said the mistress,
who wished to rally the girl, tor the
amusement Of her company, upon the
fantastic ornamenting OF plate of
butter. "Why, Bridget, did you do
this? You're quite an artist; how did
| YOU do it ?" ''Indade, mum, it was
/ myself that did it, replied Bridget.
isn't it 2ritty, mum ? | did it with
your fine-tooth-co mum"
A young man who was DESTROYS of
marrying daughter OF a well-known
Boston merchant, after many at
.tempts to breach the subject to the
b. j ssptlsEmGp, II stattsT'ng man
ing TO let me have your daughter
Jane ?n GOT course I am" grufiy
and quickly replied the old man !;
and wish you could get some likely
fellows to marry the rest of them"
Not long ago new railway was
opened in the Highlands. A High
lander named Donald heard of it, and
bought a ticket for the first excursion.
The train was about. half the distance
to the next station when collision
took place, and poor Donald was
thrown unceremoniously into park.
After recovering his sense he made
the best of his way home, when the
neighbors asked him how he liked
his drive. "Oh," replied Donald
"she liked it fine, but they had an
awfu' quick way in putin me oot'"
y fair young mother with crying
baby in her arms sat in Silver City
stage coach, says a Nevada paper.
On the opposite seat was a we'll
known politician Of engaging man
ners. BY and by he said: "Let me
hold your baby; perhaps | can soothe
him." 'Oh, no I'm much obliged
you couldn't help me any," was the
answer. But" he persisted. 'you
had better let me try" "You are
very kind" said the lady at last, but
know you couldn't help me, for he
is hungry" A light seem to dawn
on the politicians mind, aud he alb
ruptly broke off the conversation.
at a meeting of some colored
brethren 1t was decided to make
collection. The president concluded
to pass the hat himself, and, in order
to encourage the others, he put in a
10 cent piece After the collection,
during which every hand had beenin
the hat, the pfesidentapproache the
table, turned the hat upside down,
aud not even his own contribution
dropped out. He opened his eyes
with establishment and exclaimed
"Fo' goodness, but TIE eben lost de
10 cents started widw Then there
was CONSERVATION on the faces of the
assembly. Who was the lucky man ?
That was the question:. 1t was evil
IDENTIFY hopeless case, and was sum
med up byione brother, who rose in