The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-09-09
ALL SORTS.
H1dHwAyM,7EE,,Ny- E!evatad railway oo,,,

ALL SORTS.
HIdHwAYMEN-Eie Elevated railway COM
panies.
A FAMILIAR instance of color blindness
ls that of man taking brown silk UNI
brelia and leaving green bingham in
it's place.
AT recent railroad festival the fol-
lowing striking sentiment was given
"Our mothers only faithful tenders
who never misplace SWITCH"
In some parts Of Kansas farmers have
soWn tax and spring wheat in the
same held. The profit is said to be
greater than when either crop is sown
alone.
ONE swallow makes no summer: but
one day with the thermometer 80 deg.
in the shade exercises more influence in
that direction than square acre of
swallows.
The little bit of baby has his bur
dens-an the good-looking girls kissing
him. He kicks against it now, but in
after years-well, let him do his own an
ticipating.
That was clever remark of Young
Spilkins (who was embracing his sweet.
heart) when he said he liked that posi-
ton better than the one he held on tho
railroad.
IF farmer commences with one COW.
and every other calf she has is a heifer'
IN ten years the COW and her offspring
Will drop forty-one calves. This shows
the rapidity with which farm can be
stocked. - ~
A LADY engaged to be married. and
getting sick Of her bargain, applied to
friend to help her unite the knot, before
it was too late. "Oh, certainly" she
replied, cit is very easy to unite it now
while it is only beau knot"
Some one, who knows all about it, says
that, "to ride velocipede successfully
young man should see that his hair Is
carefully parted in the middle, having
no more one side than on the other. in
the way of balance"
SIX medical experts examined man
as to his sanity and were ever1T az
vided. After they had wrangled aboGt
it for week it was discovered that thAy
had examined the wrong person alto
gether. --
THERE il no indignation more terrible
than that Of an elderly man in horse
car offered seat by sympathizing lady,
when he snorts, "Kup your seat, nom
they haln't stronger man in this earn
mel"
"WHEN you order new covering for
your parasol, of particular color, YOU
should always give the shade, my dear"
claimed, *Give the SHADE, mamma
Why, the parasol will do that!'
SAID crafty husband to his business
partner, "I have promised my wife an
immense. surprise for her birthday"
"More extravaganza ?" 'sI shall give
her nothing, it will be an immense sur
prise"
A LITTLE boy was walking with his
mamma, and there fell from above his
head an avalanche of SCOT blown by the
wind from q neighboring chimney.
Helloa !" cried he, quite astonished,
"some niger SNOWY
The Danbury NeaVs, in long article,
tells "How Hat is Made" The SIM
plest, cheapest and quickest way to make
hat is to bet on the winning candi-
date at the election. Her.
aid.
Mr.. BmDERBAoK laid down his paper
and gazed thoughtfully into vacancy.
From the frequency of glowing and
highly eulogistic obituary notices." the
old man said, IT Judge there is an un-
precedented mortality among the mean
men just now"
A scHoo1BoY spelled decimal and
pronounced it dismal. 'sWhat do you
mean by calling that dismal?" exclaimed
the teacher. "'Cause it is" answered
the boy. "It's dismal fractions. All
fractions are dismal. There isn't bit
Of fun in any Of EN-"
AN old bachelor was counting O. widow.
and both had sought the aid of art to
give to their fading hair darker shade.
"That's going to be an affectionate
couple" said wag. GLOW so?" asked
friend. "Why, don't you see they
are dyeing for each other already?"
Two FISHERMEN were talking. "I
have found splendid place for fish re-
cently-a new place wi here they bite like
everything =" "Ah, have you? Where
is it?" "a little above Serves. I was
catch?" 'The GAO train coming home"
WAR war! war upon weeds! The
farmers success is the reward Of con-
slant vigilance. The fertile soil of the
West, while yielding immense crops of
grain, yields weeds in the same proper
ton. But, taken in time, on our mellow
soil, the weeds are easily destroyed
Exchange.
The most original of advertisements
appeared lately in the Newark papers.
It was put in by woman who notified
her absent husband that if he did not
return within three days she would
marry another fellow. She is from Po-
land, is this determined woman, and it
would seem that she is following a na-
tional custom.
The farmer feeds the bleating u H.,
The sailor sails the c,
The gardener plants the p p, he does,
The printer takes his e.
The sinner wipes his weeping ii,
The farmer swar1ns his b.
The printer daily sets his m m,
The teamster yels his 6 G..
The lawyer gathers in hisv Wv,
E-.F. When he has tried bis K K:
The Sheriff's ever on the c.
..N#5 The gambler risks his q a.
MY son." said an illicit distillers
remember that it is the early bird that
catches the worm" "Perhaps so,
fof1,o, - ,.o,,7,o1 ~