St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-01-02
Squibs.

OhC CCHGllC lIOll clulNuI lie Will De
able to outweigh David Davis
World. Davis weighs over 400 lbs.
Delegate Cannon, of Utah, has six
wives and takes a paper that states
regularly once month that the correct
thing in bOnnets still remains an old
tin dipper tied on with a piece of
clothes line.
At an inquest in a certain part of the
north of England, ON a man who had
been drowned, the policeman giving
his evidence was asked by the coroner
If means had been taken to resuscitate
the body. IOh, yes sir, we sarcheed
his peckets"
Jersy justice is not always dealt out
with entire consistency, if we may
draw any deductions from the recent
charge of an Hibernian dispenser of
law to the jury. He said: Gentlemen
of the jury: acardin' to larr and the
ividence, the case should go to the de-
tindint; but, acardin' to equity, give
it to the plaintiff"
The last of WOrth's pictures in the
Bazaar represents bluff old gentleman,
who, to the great amusement of an ul-
ster wearer, plucks at the arm of his
imitatOrs and shouts, "Sam Hang 1t |!
Are you deaf7 Have you-bless me !
Mis-, beg your pardon. 1 mistook you
for my son Sam. Can't tell boys from
girls out of doors nowadays"
A Boston lady always writes on the
back OF the Christmas cards with which
she favOrs her friends. "Then they
can't send them to somebody else next
year," she explains.
Little three-year-old, looking out of
the window, saw lady of Indian ex-
traction go by. SIT is a squaw," said
his mother. "Then,n said the little
three-y year-old, after a pause of reflec-
ton, "there must be some Indian sum-
mer around here ?"
The Maine catechism: Question
Who makes the governor of Maine?
Answer-The legislature.
Q.-Who makes the legislature
A.-The governor.
Q.-Does an election in Maine re-
quire a majority of votes, or is a plu-
rality sufficient
A.-Neither. The person elected
must receive a minority Of the votes
cast.
Q.-What is the use of a popular
election in that state?
A.-That is what no fellow can find
out Chicago Inter-Ocean.
"There is nothing" said little Mr..
BarkIngdale, who was jumping at the
top hook in the hat rack with his new
silk hat, "there is nothing" he painted,
with another desperate jump-''suc-
ceeds"-and up he went again-'liken
and he made jump that kangaroo
would have envied-"like"-he shout
ed, as he slapped his hat fairly over the
hook, hung on to the brim Just a sec
ond too long, tore it clear off, and then,
as the whole hat rack came over on ton
of him, and he thrust his head through
the mirror in the middle of it, he roared
in desperate and legitimate conclusion
-"success!" And all the rest of the
guests seemed to think that way, too,
for the enthusiasm was tremendous.
A poet asks: "Where are all the
maidens fair and high-Marie and AL
ice and Maud and May, and Merry
Madge with the laughing eye-and all
the gallants of yesterday that found us
merry and held us gay 2" You want to
know where they are, do you? Well,
1t is now 10 a. NJ, and Marie is still in
bed, and her mother is yelling up the
stairway that if she doesn't come down
right away she won't get mouthful of
breakfast. Alice is putting little COL
or III her cheeks and penciling her eve
orOws preparatory to running down
town to purchase spool of cotton, and
asking to look ut a thousand dollars,
worth OF goods. Maud is hammerinp
away at her piano lessons while her
mother is washing up the breakfast
dishes. May is sewing big rip in her
dress caused by a clumsy man nuttino
MS 1o0t on her train the night before,
whlle Mad ge, having just finished put
Cihg her lrlzzes up in papels, has com
lnenced to read ''Blighted Love; OF
the Tilted Count" AS for the ''gal,
lants," some of them are yawning be.
llnd store counters, others NAV Inc
round IN billiard saloons, and two OF
three are wondering how they car
raise funds without pawning their over.
coats, TO pay their share of last nigbt,,
Jam ooree. o, we know where tbe1
are NorristOwn Herald.
A number of girls in a neirbborin,
town organized a charitable and benev
olent association, and the father of ON,
OF one OF them gave her S25 to hell
along in the good work. She addef
SI5 to her fathers contribution an.
relieved a great deal of real distress h,
purchasing herself sealskin socone
A girl with new sealskin sacoue car
render more assistance to the deservin'
poor tnan one who is obliged to wea
her last winters $50 coat.-fNorrist"oTTa'
Herald, l-'o'iis'o"I