The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1880-07-09
brooklyn Eagle.l
A SLIGHT IndiSposition.

"My DEAR" said Mr. Spoopendyke, after a
long and gloomy pause, ''my dear, I'm not
feeling very well, tonight, and 1 think I'll
take some of those anti-bilious pills. That
idea of having little medicine chest with
everything handy is an excellent one, and II
you can find those pills, believe I'll take
dose.
"They are just what you need, said Mrs.
Spoopendyke sympathetically, "your tongue is
coated and your complexion looks very yellow,
lately" lHA
81 don't remember calling on you for any
remarks about my complexion, Mrs. Sroopen.
dyke and "as for my tongue being
coated we will assume that it has also got on
vest, trousers and boots. What | asked for
was pills, pills, Mrs. Spoopendyke, not orato-
ry." a.
Mrs. Spoopendyke hustled into the closet
and after considerable seach, found ribbon
box with with one end knocked out. In it were
half dozen blue papers that belonged to the
large end of seidlitz powder, dose and
half of boneset, bursted paper of salts,
an empty cough syrup bottle, two Jumps of
sugar, four soda crackers, half a lemon, a
lump of camphor, mustard plaster and sew
en- pill boxes without covers.
81 think these are the pills you want" said
Mrs. Spoopendyke, scratching around in the
bottom of the medicine chest do you re-
member whether they are whit3 brown or
black?''
I'm not particular about the COLOR" re-
sponded Mr.. Spookendyke, sardonically.
"What want is anti-bilious pills. brought
home box and told you to put 'em away
carefully. If you've drowned them in that
measly old box it isn't my fault What I
want is pills. anti-blious pills.
This looks like them," said Mrs Spoopen-
dyke, squashing one between her thumb and
finger and smelling at it cautiously "Do you
remember whether they were sugar coated?"
81 do not" rejoined Mr., Spookendyke, ''nor
do remember whether they wore a stand up
collar or plug hat. If you think I'm going
to sit around here like book on heraldry and
furnish you with the antecedents of them pills
you've lost sight of our relations, Mrs. Spoop-
endyke. L want to know whether you can
find em or not"
"Is this one of them?" asked Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, chasing a refractory pellet into a corner
and fishing it out with some misgivings 'It
looks like it, and l can't think what else it's
for Suppose you take this"
Does 1t say so on the cover. Does the COW
er say lanti-bilious?"
II can't find the cover" responded Mrs.
that do?' "-''
ooh! certainly anything'n do for mel
howled Mr. Spoopendyke. "All want is a box
and a pill. 1t doesn't make any difference
whetler they go together or not Do you know
pill from postoffice? Can you tell the diff
ference between a pill box and a policeman?
S'pose m going to eat one of those things
without knowing whether it's a railroad or a
corn plaster? What did ye mix em up for
anyhow? Spose I'm going to speculate in
those pills till one hits my liver? Think I'm
going to take 'em in courses like an alumni
banquet? Have got to get out search war
rant to find them pills?'
suppose you put on this mustard plaster"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke holding it up be-
fore him Mustard is the best thing In the
world to excite the action of the liver"
ION! yes, certainly, certainly" sneered Mr..
Spoopendyke. "What head you've got for
physlc! III could get you to hold a red light
IN your mouth and tie soda fountain around
your neck, I'd start you for drugstore. How
are you going to tie mustard plaster around
my liver? Don't you know the difference be-
tween tween mustard plaster box of pills?
What did you spill 'em for, anyhow? Think
I'm going to eat mixed pills, like candy? Been
trying to make pill salad, haven't you? Go
ing to ind them dnd gasted things this week?'
Let me think" said Mrs. Spoopendyke,
musingly- "These white ones are quinne;
these brown ones are opium, now | remember,
and the black ones are the ones you want.
How many make dose?"
None" yelled Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Spose
I'm going to take those things on their color?
Ihlnk I'm going TO run the chance of filling
myself up with opium just to test your eye for
untsY Think I'm going to shut my eyes and
draw pill like was playing game Of for
teits? l don't want any pills anyway. Throw
em out! Pitch that measly medicine chest