West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1880-05-22
Hard Times"

Don't tell me that the "hard times hay,
not proved socially beneficial In many NJ
spects, for know better, and am prepare,
to prove IL.
For instance, the young man who uset
To send tablespoonful or 80 of froth in ,
small glass, flying down bcery slide ON ,
highly polished counter, in rcspone TO m,
meek request for lager, and who grabbed
AT my five cents and rushed Il into the iii
rs II the very contract of ~ trifiing M
amount might take the shine out of hi,
California diamonds, now weekly whisk,
an atom of dust from the bar and thank,
me for my small investment, humbly iii
rccting my attention to dish which con
tatns apparently minute portions of Egyp
tian mummy, which, my olfaCtorics suggest
may have been once i'm the fish business.
Again, at the BARRIERS, | am permitted {,
torego bay rum without any fear OF subse
quent rough handling, or (whcn my hair
has been cuD of having small PARTICLES vic
iously blown down between the shoulder
blades.
The waiter who was wont to hurl two
square inches of boiled alligator, accom-.
panied 10y disease with circle of potato
pairing around II, In rcponsc To my request
Tor sirlon, now places the aforesaid be.
fore me IN an apologize manner, M il ho
regretted that real turtle had not been
thrown In as an extra All this IL pleas.
ing; is 1t notl
despise boasting, but really know AN
alderman. He used To nod to me, or, AT
the most, allow me To take finger. OF
late he would deposit his entire hand in my
palm, were 1t physically possible; and since
he lost THAT contract" ON account of Gre
trcnchmcnt," am soliCitous for my collar.
bone. 30 cncrgctiCally does he slap me ON
the back.
Then, there's my rich cousin. A brief
call was the most that ever passed between
our families, and there was that formality
between us which usually exists between
men OF $4,000 and $1,000 per annum re
spectively. Since his property has been
mo'tgaged, almost up to the handle, nm
dear boy" and ''old fellow wnile his
wife, who scarcely knew that was father,
now almost weeps fora sight of those sweet
children, and declares that il is "rcally too
bad we do not ca round" The way i'm
which she asked my wife second time To
early peas, when we dined with them last
Sunday, was enough to draw tears.
When we moved, time before last, n
family portrait was rcmorsely piled on the
carpet broom, and the parlor stove was
landed in IA basket of crockery. This year.
how mildly did the eXpressman climb two
pairs of stairs with the furr iture, and apollo
gize for having scratched the clothes bas-
kctl
The exquisite mt the dry goods "cmpor-
ium, who thought it cOndescension TO drop
twenty pounds OF shceting ON the counter,
bringing il within an ace of your nose, or
who sncercd at the parsimony which re-
fused to pay m.re than 81 per yard for
Maria's new dress, now follows TO the door,
and looks hurt If he be not permitted To
send two cents worth of pins home for
you.
THANK youl" is becoming familiar in
mouth" Even Biddy Is beginning to feel
that 1t would be wise to spend an hour or
so daily on household duties in return for
$40 per month and her board.
The "corner grocer il beginning to
charge less than two hundred per cent for
some of his supplies, and there is really no
knowing but what the fashionably attred
may in the near future look upon the honest
toller in last years garb AS one who may
possibly be worthy Of salvation.