Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1880-05-12
CURING A COLD.

The first time that | began t.
sneeze, friend told me to go and battle
my feet in hot water, and go to bed.
did so. Shortly after, a friend told me
to get up and take cold shower bath.
did that also Within an hour an
other friend told me that it was policy
to feed a cold and starve fever |
had both; so l thought it best to fill
up the cold and let the fever starve
awhile. In case of this kind | sell
dom do things by halves; l ate pretty
heartily. conferred my custom upon
stranger who had just opened res
taurant on Courtland street, near the
hotel that morning, paying him Sc
much for full meal He waited near
me in respectful silence until l had
finished feeding my cold, when he in.
quired whether people about New
York We're much afflicted with colds
l told him l thought they WERE He
then went out and took in his sign. !
started up toward the Office, and on the
walk encountered another bosom friend
who told me that quart of warm salt
water would come as near curing a
cold as anything in the world. | hard
ly thought l had room for it, but |
tried it, anyhow. The result was sur
prising. l believe l threw up my i'm
mortal soul. Now, as l give my ex-
perience only for the benefit of those Of
my friends who are troubled with the
distemper, 1 feel that they will see the
propriety of my cautioning them
against following such portion of it as
proved inefficient with me; and acting
upon this conviction 1 warn them
against salt water 1t may be good
enough remedy, but l think it is rath-
er too severe. If / had another cold
in the head, and there was no course
left me-to take either an earthquake
or warm salt water, would take my
chances on the earthquake. After this
everybody in the hotel became inter
ested; and l took all sorts of remedies
hot lemonade, cold lemonade, pepper
tea, bonset, stewed Quaker, hoarhound
syrup, onions and and loaf sugar, lem
ons and brown sugar, vinegar and
laudanum, five bottles fir balsam, eight
bottles of cherry pectoral, and ten bot
ties of Uncle Sans remedy; but all
without effect. One of the prescrip-
tions given by an old lady was-well,
it was dreadful. She mixed decoc-
tion composed of molasses, catnip, pep
permint, aquafortis, turpentine, kero-
sene and various drugs, and instructed
me to take wineglassful of it every
fifteen minutes. / never took but one
dose; that was enough. l had to take
| to my bed and remain there two entire
days. When felt little better, more
things were recommended. | was des-
perate, and willing to take anything
Plain gin was recommended, and then
gin and molasses, then gin and onions
I took all three. | detected nc. partic-
ular result, however except that | had
acquired breath like turkey buz-
zard, and had to change my boarding
place. l had never refused remedy
yet, and it seemed poor policy to com
mence then; therefore l determined to
take sheet-bath, though l had nc
idea what sort of an arrangement il
was. 1t was administered at mid
night, and the weather was frosty
Ny back and breast were stripped, and
a sheet, (there appeared to be thou
sand yards of it, soaked in ice water
was wound around me until | resem
bled swab for columbiad. 1t is q
cruel experiment When the chilly
rag touches ones warm flesh, it makes
him start with sudden violence, and
gasp for breath, just as men do in the
death agony. 1t froze the marrow in
my bones, and stopped the beating o.
my heart. l thought my time hao
come When 1 recovered from this, g
friend ordered the application of mus
tard plaster to my breast. | believe
that would have cured me effectually
if it had not been for young Clemens
When l went to bed, 1 put the mus
tard plaster where l could reach il
when l should be ready for it. But
young Clemens got hungry in the
night and ate it up. l never saw any
child have such an appetite. l an
confident that he would have eaten me
if had been healthy.