The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-02-17
ALL SORTS.

ALL SORTS.
There's witching young lass in our street;
Like corrections she sells. she is sweet.
asked for kiss"
Whereupon laughed the miss,
"Of course, Sillabub, You must eat
Icalled on that girl in our block,
Nor left till she looked at the clock;
TT Is ticking" she said.
And it's ticEing dread"
"Good evening"" said with shock.
The next call said, to attack,
Like cents that are old, I've come back
And she said, lyon should say,
Like some new cents you stay
GOOD evening" again. was slack.
Once more that fair dameel tried,
But her pa, he was waiting inside
It was leap year. knew
For the weight Of his shoe
Made me leap while she laughed " che o srse
The head waiter of hotel is the chap
who comes to inquire how you are getting
along after you have been served. During
the half-hour you are waiting Tor waiter
he is not visible. --Neso Orleans Ptcdyune.
why will men drink beer?" shouts
Billy Maxwell When William becomes
aware that it is an unpleasant task to get
the beer down any other way, the question
is answered to the fullest extent prescrib-
ed by law ioga County Record.
A California boy put an umbrella in q
public doorway during religious N eeting.
To this umbrella was attached q strong
cord, an end of which the boy held 10 his
hands, Eleven different persons are said
| to have carried the um brella to the length
of the string.
| If the young man who occupies hotel
stoops and chews wooden toothpicks took
| a more contemplative view of the situa-
| ton. he would soon become aware of the
extravagant use he was making of valuable
lumber that might otherwise be converted
into baseball bats, - ogG County Rec
ord.
| The church of the Chandelier has
reduced its sewing circle soup to the
exactest state of thinness yet achieved by
economic sciences, Their recipe for chick
en- soup is to fill the tureen with hot
water, then all take hold of the edges of
the festive crockery and pullet. Syracuse
| Times.
The Yonkers Gazette asks: What is
home without a wife?" A place where
your mother-in- will never provoke you
and where you can fall in at three O clock
10 the morning, without being kept awake
the balance OF the night with a curtain
| lecture. G0,oanda Enterprise.
4
one COW to every four persons in this coun-
try. That d ont make the price of milk
any less. however. or warrant it being pure
aud welcome. 1t has got SO weak now
adays that it positively refuses to support
the least bit OF cream.-At6dny Argus
| After New Hampshire debating club
had labored for four hours over the ques-
tiou. rs it morally wrong for a man to
keep any secrets froma his wife 2" the pre-
sideDt got up aud said that he dida't
| any further. as he didn't think the offense
of women rightly. Boston Post.
MONTH 2burg. who has been INDUCING in
| amateur farming, says nothing is as it is
represented. They sold me cow" he
complains, that they said would give
eight quarts of milk day; but [ took &
pail to her and addressed her in the pol
itest terms. and, if you'll believe il, sir. she
wouldn' give a gill. The milk bad to be
taken from her by force. Boston Trap
elier.
There are significant signs of reaction
against.t helsen,imentslism which has hith'
erto inGuced juries to award heavy dam
ages to injured damsels in questionable
breach ofpromise cases. The girls have
a wide latitude 10 Withdrawing from matri-
monial engagements whenever they have
a real or fancied cause for such action,
and it is not desirable that the privilege
of the fair sex should be curtailed. Men
commonly are, aud properly can be, held
to much more rigorous fullfillment of
their matrimonial engagements than
women; but where there are msulfestly
good and sufficient reasons for withdraw
| ing from the proposed alliance, society
and the courts should treat mercifully the
masculine mortal who shrinks from we'd
ding in haste and repenting at leisure.
Cincinnati Gazette