Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1880-02-18
Ny Wife's Relations.

Broiled Spring chickens for tea, Ell %
said |. " And lobster salad and fried oys-
tiers Upon my word, this looks rs if we
were going to have company
$50 we are, my dear" said my wife,
looking little guilty, as she polished up
the surface of the big silver tea.tray with a
new chamoiS leather. They are all
coming to visit me-Uncle Silas, and Aunt
| Melicent, and the children, and Cousin
Jeab, and the two Miss Wilnerdings, and
my Aunt Louisa, to meet the Rev. Mr..
| Sparkwell, from Minnesota, who married
my cousin, Jerusha Wilde. Mr.. Sparkwell
is troubled with catarrh, and he thinks OF
| staying at our house for few weeks, while
he is being treated by DR.. Dosem.'
l put down my linen buster and Aown
paper parcels with some emphasis.
"Oh, confound the Rev. Mr. Sparkwoll p
said l.
"Johnw calculated my wife,
We'll, my dear, can't help it," said
|. OTIS not in human nature to endure
everything. And I've been relationed out
of all patience ever since our marriage.
The .Jenkinscs went away last week, the
| Brdsalls took an eiiectionate leave vester.
day, and now just as was contenp plating =
peaceful evening by ourselves, here's a new
swarm, hunsrier than the rest, lust about
to settle down upon us! In my opinion,
Kitty, my dear, relations should be abol.
ished."
am surprised at you, john" said nv
vito. My own people, that are so fond of
me-"
| That's where you are mistaken, nv
dear" said | It's your comfortable spring
beds and good cookery that they are fond
of, not YOU"
"Johnr'
I'D be willing to wager a good round
sum on the truth of nay assertions" said l..
" Because you have no relations yourself
l."
"Thank Providence for that" said |.
| Gsvoutly. " | was reared in founding
asylum, and have nobody to thank but
myself for my tolerable success in the
world
Its no reason you should find fault
with mine" said Kitty, with her bright
blue eyes full of tears. "And Mr. Spark.
well Is such spiritually. minded man, and
dear Uncle Silas loves you just rs if you
were his only son, and Cousin Joab is SO
interested in the children
I'm much obliged to EN-" said |, drylv.
-" But ! slept all last week on sofa cushions
laid in the bath tub and we had fourteen
people here over the anniversaries and |
was obliged to give up my own room for a
month last Winter to old Mr.. Mansewell,
not to speak OF our being half poisoned with
Aunt Louisa's hygiene messss in the Fall.
When the poet said, there's no place like
home presume he meant when there
were no relations visiting him. I'll tell you
what, my DEAR" with sudden inspiration.
:" Two great mind formally to deed over
this house to your relations. if they will
agree solsmnly to leave me in peace for
the rest Of my life, wheresoever | NAV set
up my family tents"
Nonsense ~ said my wife. "Do 20 up
stairs and change your things, and brush
your hair and get ready for tea. THEY'RE
all waiting in the best parer, and | was
expecting your return to see about hiring
some cot beds from the village hotel. to nut
up in the attic for these four little Spark.
well children. You see, Aunt Louisa has
the blue bedroom, and Cousin Joab sleeps
IN the little wing chamber, and Mr.. and
Mrs. Sparkwell will have our room, and"
Indeed ~ said /. "And we are to sleep
in the barn, suppose"
Don't be cross, JShn," said my wife
appealingly. Zone must be hospitabie, yeu
know. And / can easily make up the sofa
bed In the back parlor for our use for week
or two"
said nothing, but ground my teeth in
silent despair, as | sprang up stairs, two
steps at q time, to make what changes |
could il my toilet, by the aid of ten by
twelve glass, hung over the washstand Of a
stuffy little bath room.
The Rev. Mr.. Sparkwsll was big man,
with Htill bigger voice. and a limp, faded
little wife, whose sole earthly interests
seemed conferred in her four wbite.eved.
freckle.taced children. Uncle Silas and
Aunt Melicent were silont pair, with ex.
cellent apPettes, and two tall boys, who
giggled and snickered at each other in the
intervals of the conversation.
Cousin Joab talked necessarily with his
mouth full, and the two Miss Wilmerdincs
served as general echoes for the rost /; while
Aunt Louisa deVOursd lobster salad ad lib.
itcn, and kept on sending up her cup for
more green tea, until ] trsmbled for her
nerves.
While nay wife, CAREFUL and troubled
like Martha of old, with many things.
locked ready to drop with tho hospitabIo
exertions she had made, and !, sitting a
mere cipher at the head of my table, felt as
it were keeping a boarding house without
any OF the pscuniary emolumsnts there.
from.
My trunks will be up in the six o'clock
train," said the Rev. Mr.. sparkwell. "In
trouble you, Cousin Poyntz, to send an
exPressman to the depot for 'en. And il
there's any apartment in this domicile
Cousin Poyntz, that could be fitted up as !
study for my temporary use, it would greatly
facilitate my intellectual occupation during
my soloHFa in the suburbs of this great city.
And ! must beg that You will keep the
house very still during the hoHFs which !
devote to study"
Here my wife looked at ma aghast, think.
lag OF little Johnny and the baby,
! Never mind, my dear" l remarked