The Grant County herald. (Big Stone City, Grant County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1883, 1880-01-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

WIT AND HUMOR.
ANY man can edit newspaper, but it
takes genius to make 500 miles in six
days.
COLUMBUS made the egg stand, but
Italians of less renown have made the
peanut stand.
'"THAT puts different face on it," as
the boy said when the ball struck the
clock dial.
WHATEVER objection may be opposed
to whipping, it is at least undeniable
that it makes boy smart.
The lilies of the fields have pistils,
and every wide-awake citizen of fair
Texas is "arrayed like one of these
The ightning-rod man must be al
lowed good profit, for when he sells
out his business he never can get much
for the goodwill.
LITTLE Gertie (after waiting some
time for dessert Uncle, don't you
have anything after dinner?" Uncle
=" Yes, dear; the dyspepsia"
A LADY, q regular shopper, who had
made an unfortunate clerk tumble over
all the stockings in the store, objected
that none of them were long enough.
II want" she said, "the longest hose
that are made" "Then, madam was
the reply, you had better apply to the
next engine-house."
THE DEAREST LOVE.
sisters love is charming
AS everybody knows;
And handsome Cousins love is nice
tat least, should suppose.
And the love of a true lover
Is the love that cannot pail.
But the love of new bonnet
Is the dearest love of all
MOTHER to her daughter, just ! year.
old" What makes you look so sad,
Carrier" Carrie, looking at her baby
brother, 3 weeks old" was Just think
ing that III about ten years from now,
when shall be entering company, and
| having beau, that brother of mine will
be just old enough to bother the life
out Of me-"
| A RoCKLAND man read that one should
endeavor to draw something useful from
everything he saw, and nobly resolved
to profit by the teaching. That night
/ wnen tie moon was hidden Ln essayea
| to draw number of useful cord-wood
| sticks from his neighbor's woodpile, and
| got filled SO full of rock-salt out Of a
gun that he won't be able to taste any
| thing fresh for the balance Of his natu-
raj life.
The round yellow pumpkin that the
| housewife has in eye for nice batch
of inch and half deep pies, with under
crust as brown as berry, doesn't
| always show up when cookingday
comes round; but down behind the
garden gate at the first approach of
! darkness she can see fiendish face all
aglow with fire. That's her favorite
pumpkin, and the only wax-candle she
had is inside of it.
| THE oligin of "dog- days" is accounted
for as follows: The great heat of July
led to superstition among the Ro-
mans; they conceived that this pre-em-
| inent warmth, and the diseases and
| other calamities flowing from it, were
| somehow connected with the rising and
and the setting of the star Canlcula-
the Little Dog-in coincidence with the
sun. They accordingly conferred the
name dog-days upon the period between
the 3D. Of July and the 18th Of August
HER FOOT.
just as she her coach was entering
Did see her foot one day
All what feeling overcame me,
But what it was cannot say.
Crazy-like the coach followed:
| Where it stopped stopped again
And once more the wondrons vision
OF that foot disturbed my brain.
Not one instant forgetit.
l Or in peace. or JOY, strife
never saw larger foot
| never did in all my life!