The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-07-30
MARK TWAIN OK THE Ant,
Not Much tsI,dd,A 20 be Found when
You Go To Him.

Now and then, while we rested, we
watched tile laborious ant at his work.
l found nothing new in uncertainty
nothing TO change my crltion 6f lin.
ltsecnis to Ds that in the matter of in
tellect the ant must be a strangely over
rated bird. During many summers now
l have watched him, when l ought 20
have been in better business, and have
not yet come across living ant that
seemed TO have any more sense than a
dead one. | Beler to, the ordinary ant,
OF course; / have had NO experience of
those wonderful Swiss and African ones
Who vote, keep drilled armies, bold
slaves and dispute about religion. Those
particular ants may be All that the
naturalist paint them, but l am per-
suaded that the average ant is a sham.
| admit his industry, of course; he is
the hardeSt-working creature in the
world-when anybody Is looking ng-but
his Observation-Disclosures Is the point make
against him. He goes out foraeing, he
makes a capture, and then what does
he do? Go hoines No, he goes any
where But home. lie doesn't know
Where LONE is. His home may be oaly
three feet away; no matter, he cant
find it.
He makes his capture, as have said;
1t is generally something that cazabe OF
no sort Of use 70 himself or anybody
elsei it is u'usiiy seven times bigger
than it ought 10 be; he hunts out the
awkwardest place to take hold of; he
lifts it bodily up in the air by main
force, and starts=n0t toward home, but
in the opposite direction; not calmly
and wisely, but with q frantic haste
which is wasteful of his strength; he
tetches up against pebble, and, instead
of going around it, he climbs over it
backward, dragging his booty after
him, tumbles down the other side,
jumps up in passion, kicks the dust
of his clothes, moistens his hands,
grabs his property viCiouSly, yanks il
this way, then tlat, shoves it ahead OF
him a moment. turns tail and lugs il
after him another moment. gets madder
and madder, then presently hoists ii
into the air and goes tearing away in all
entirely new direction; comes 10 q
weed; it never occurs TO him to 90
around 1t. No; he must climb it, and
he does climb 1t, dragging his worth.
less property to the top-which is rs
bright thing to do rs it would be for
me to carry q sack of flour from Heidel-
berg to Paris by way of Strasburg
steeple; when he gets up there he finds
that is not the place; takes cursory
glance at the scenery, and either climbs
down again or tumbles down, and starts
off once more-as usual in new d.
rection.
At the end of half an hour he fetches
up within six inches OF the place he
started from, and lays his burden down.
Meantime he has been all over the
ground for two yards around, and
climbed nil the weeds and pebbles he
came across. Now he wipes the sweat
from his brow, strokes his limbs, and
then marches aimlessly off, in as vio-
lent hurry as ever. He traverses good
deal of zig-Sag country, and by -and-byo
stumbles on his same booty again. He
does not remember 10 have ever seen it
before; he looks around to see which is
not the way home, grabs his bundle
and starts. He goes through the same
adventures he had before, firally stops
to rest, and friend comes along,
Evidently the friend remarks that last
years grasshopper leg is very noble
acquisition, and inquiries where he got
it. Evidently the proprietor does not
remember exactly where he did get it,
but thinks he got it around here some
where" Evidently the friend contracts
to help him freight it home. Then,
with judgment peculiarly antic (pun
not intentionaD, they take hold OF the
opposite ends of that grasShopper-leg
and begin to tug with all their might in
opposite directions. Presently they
take rest and confer together. They
decide that something is wrong, they
can't make out what. Then they 60 at
it again, just as before. Same result.
Mutual recriminations follow. Evil
IDENTIFY each accuses the other Of being
an obstruotionist. They warm up, the
dispute ends in fight. They lock
themselves together and chew each
others jaws for awhile; then they roll
and tumble on the ground till one loses
horn or leg and has to haul of for
repairs. They make up and 90 TO work
again in the same old insane way; but
the crippled ant is at a disadvantage
tug as he may, the other one drags of
the booty and him at the end of it. In
stead Of giving up, he hangs on and gets
his shins bruised against every obStruo-
ton that comes in the way. By-and-
bye, when that grasshopper-leg has
been drawn over the same old ground
once more, it is finally dumped at
about the same spot where it originally
lay. The two perspiring ants inspect it
tnoughtfully and decide that dried
grasshopper legs are poor sort of prop
crty after all, and then each starts of
in different direction TO see il he cant
find an old nail or something else that
is heavy enough to afford entertainment
and, at the same time, val1eless enough
10 innk q nn mt runnt 10 own Il -ALnrL