The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1880-01-10
WIT AND WISDOM.

The man whom you saved from
drowning, and the man who never
pays you what he owes, you may
consider as alike indebted to you for
life.
The serpent left his trail In the
Garden of Eden, but the general be-
lief is that Ewes dress pattern was
too scanty to enable her to do like
wise.
There are few men who have not
sufficient confidence In the good ma
ture of their friends to borrow their
umbrellas without first asking for
them.
The young lady who PUSHES direct
ly between her dueling lovers, just
as they are about to fire, shows as
good care of her own safety 40 she
does Of theirs.
The young people OF both sexes
have for several years been singing
about how faithful the old dog Tray
was. If he was such a faithful dog
how could he be TrayY
rrespondent---"Win tue editor
please inform me where me and my
family can go on Sundays without
being crowded."
Answer. -"Go to Church."
Investigator" wants to know what
is good for cabbage worms. Bless
your soul, man, csbbages, Of courses.
A good plump cabbage will last sew
eral worms . week.
"Well, Pat, you didn't come to the
two o'clock train TO get me, ~ you
told me" ea
ooh, indade did, sor; but ! got
there too late for that thrain, SO l
waited for the next"
What IL the difference between the
quiet man and the NOISY man2 The
quiet man is like the trade wind,
steady and in one direction; the
noisy man Is like a whirlwind, max
ing great stir with no beneficial
results.
Christianity has carried civiliza-
tion along with it, whithersoever il
has gone: and, as IL To show that tho
latter does not depend on physical
causes, some Of the countries tho
most civilized In the days Of Angus
tus are now in state of hopeless
barbarism.
The proprietor of Scotch hotel
informs commercial gentlemen and
tourists" that they can rely on COM
Portable accommodations at this es-
tablishment, and that Carriages and
other conveyances, including a first
class county hearss, are kept for
hire"
GLOW are yoh getting along since
your MARRIAGE asked one friend OF
another.
"Not very WE'LL was the reply.
when she gave me her hand little
over a year ago, it filled me with de-
light; but when she gives 1t to me
now it doesn't delight me in the
least"
It is in accordance with the rules
Of etiquette for gentleman, in com
pany with friend, to bow to lady
with whom his friend exchanges
bows; but such . salutation on his
part would be no warrant for his
again bowling to the lady on meeting
her alone.
"Men should not allow their wives
to split wood" says = mild contem-
porary. This Is rather considerate.
How can o man refuse, when his
wife comes up with tears in her eyes,
and says, "Now do, dear, let me 60
down and split wood for an hour to
get up an appetite"
A German lost his wife, and the
next week married again, and his
new wife asked him to take her out
riding. He felt indignant that she
should have no more respect for bis
deceased wife than that, and said,
"You dink ride out nit anoder vo-
man SO soon after the death Of mine
frauT'
The Committee on the sick report
ed that nine members Of the Lime
Kiln Club were sick AIDED, though
none Of them had need TO apply for
relief. Il tole dem niggers when l
seed 'em gwine for ice cream on toast
at de picnic dat dey'd bar from It,"
remarked the President ~ he receiv.
ed the report. DE fack am,gem'len.
de pusson who can't stop eatin' long
as de plates am lef' on de table mus'
expeck to pay high board bill"
Uncle Pete, an octogenarian darby,
often holds forth at Sourth Carolina
religious meetings.. One evening he
rose, and leaning on the seat In front
began an exhortaiion, In qnivering
voice, against skepticism, and cen
cIuded with the illustration: "Some
folks has lots of trouble bout de
Tr;n;tv Now ito all as plain as