Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-12-17
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ButIpoz1NG A VoTER.-Old Uncle
Nose. of Galveston, was not noticed neal
the polIs on election day, consequently
colored striker was sent to hunt him up
He was found sitting by the fire, grooming
dismally, in his cabin.
"Uncle Nose, has yer voted yit?,' ask
ed the colored rounder.
mo chile, wouldn't risk ketchin' cold
in my lungses foah all de money in de
world.'' fss.,N III
ssHere's dollar to pay for yer Time"
The old man secured the subsidy, re-
marking: EFF you is comm de bulldoM
on dis old niggah he weakens. Hev you
fetched kerrige for me?"
ssHit's waiting at the doah, Uncle
Mose.''
sis yer gwine to bring me back after
Use voted p
"Bring you right back, Uncle Nose; hur-
ry up, now.'
.sGimme dram foah starts p
ssHere it is, said the emissary, produ-
cling flask. 'sTake pull.'
ssGwine to gimme annudder pull when
Use done voted ?'' and then he pulled
again.
Eyes, take annudder pull right now.
Don't be afraid oh it. Oars plenty moat
whar it come FROM"
So the old man pulled again and wanted
to know:
eHev yer got annudder dollar bill wild
yer 20
'sLook heah. old man, you must low de
campaign committees made of money
Here's yer udder dollar. Now jump in.
De polls is gwine ter Close
'sLor, chile, you maxim out you is
statesman, heah heah heah I've been
foolin' yer. I done voted de udder ticket
only dis morning. heah! heah! heah J.
and the old image settled down in front OF
the fire and nearly chuckled his head off.
--Galueston Ne,Ds.
TIcKLED ALL OVER. The Chief of Pc
lice of Detroit, recently received a visi
from an old farmer living out on the Cen
trail Line road, who had story to TELL
After two or three efforts he began:
81 vas going home last night when l
oyertakes two men on der roadt. Dose
felIers dey laft und saidt would gift em a
ride. laft too, und say shump in.''
s'Yes, understand"
.'Pooty queek one Teller laft und saidt he
likes Dutehmens, cause his uncle vhas q
Dutchlnans. Dot vhas all right, und so j
laft too. I vhas real tickled, uud l shakes
all oafer. y
ssYes.''
'.In leedle While one weller Wants mt
to change seven tollar bill, SO he could
gif some money to der orphan asylums.
und he lafts ha! ha! ha! Dot tickled MT
some more, und lafts too Den de odde
Teller he grabs me py der collar und pulls
me down behind und says dey looks in my
pockets for steamboat dot vhas stolen
from Detroit. Dot makes us all laff like
some goot shoke."
sit must have been fnnny."
SIT vhas. Dose fellers took out my wal
let und counted up der monish. I had
shust ten tollar, una dey laft und said dot
dey must 60 on some trips to der seashore
mit dot. Dat tickled nae some more, und
/ laft too."
t'Well, what thenp"
ssVheu den dey shumped out und put
DER fingers on der noses und says goot pye
old Dutchmans, und ahvay dey goes like
some h0rse-races."
"And YOU didn't laugh at that p
ssVhell, not pooty much. vhas already
to, but sthopped. If dem fellers vhas
robbers WANTS you to catch 'em und gift
,em some pieces of my mind like dunder
Idoan' like somebody to laff at nae When
dey doan7 feel tickled all over. -
HE Wasn't MEAN.-Mr. Elijah Hitch
cock was Connecticut constable, whose
character was under scrutiny. Deacon
Solomon Rising was inquired of about
him, ssDeacon Solomon Rising" said the
auestioner, :sdo you think Mr. Hitchcock
is dishonest mani"
Very promptly "Oh, no. sir! not by
any means"
''Well, do you think he is mean man2''
swell with regard to that" said the
deacon, q little more deliberately, 81 may
ray that don't really think he is a mean
man; I've sometimes thought be was what
you might eau keerful mana prudent
man.
"What do you mean by prudent man2''
"Weli, mean this: that one time he
had an execution for 81 against the old
Widow Witter back here, and be went up
to her house and levied On flock Of ducks.
He chased them ducks, one at time,
round the house poorly much all day; and
every time he'd catch duck he d set right
down and ring his neck and charge mile
age: an his mileage mounted to more
than the debt. Nothin' mean about it. as
know of, but I always Thought after that
that Mr.. Hitchcock was a very prnde Mt
man.
Automatically speaking. the Orbits Of
the lordly turkey and cranberry sauce soon
cross each other, and these two will then
DE in conjunction,