The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-08-14
CREAM OF OUR EXCHANGES.


Ill.gotten gains-Doctor fees.
Two for assent--A bridal couple.
Pleasant wethcr-A good natured sheep
Difficult lock to pick--One from bald head.
"Talk is cheap" Is it, Just hire lawyer
once.
A Citing opportunity-Thc visit to the dress
maker.
profane punster says the telephone is hello
an affair.
An undertaken gets his living where another
man des.-El.
The drest boots have the biggest creak. 1t IL
otherwise with boats.
ale is very spry at getting tired" somebody
said OF lazy man.
To succeed young man must work-uness
he succeeds to an estate.
The Duke of Wellngton's plate has been esti.
mated to be worth 81, OO00.-Sun
Must be an awful big plate.
An exch, says: David Davis's vest looks
like sibl ent." Make him pull 1t down.
A burg recently arrested was asked to tell
what his siness was. SIN q houseceaner,"
said he.
George HIS crown weighed seven pounds;
Victoria's only weighs nineteen ounces-E1.
But Vic has SO much more brain to carry.
Built Upon tie Bluffs" ia the title OF re.
Gently issued novel 1t is not dedicated to GEN
eral schneck.
The man who commits suicide before next De.
Ia ..,.t t.atN 49,,
Huntington Hdickeye.
Michigan man was arrested and fined $40
for hugging widow. Is this the boosted free
dom Of the American press?
The \. Y. World says the Brdgets of Fifth Av.
enue now have the run OF the whole house,
while their mistresses are cooped up in little
rooms at the seaside or among the mountains.
An 0swego man who can't say anything mean
about his wfe's mother wants her to run for Of
hce.-Os,@go Record.
A Cape May girl wears a bathing dress of
green with cardinal hat and belt. The stock.
ings are green.-N. Y. Heya,d And now, what
about the girl:
Mr.. John Shermans heart bleeds for the Re.
publcans Of Louisiana, black and white. As he
has taken care of Madison Wells it must bleed
especially now for Eliza Pnkston.
Frank Hart the colored pedestrian, is dying in
Boston. ii is noticeable that men who force mn.
ture in any form die young. Dr. Tanner is only
10 years old
Full many gen OF spurious ray serene
The spotless shirts Of hotel CLERKS do bear!
Full many simple Ignorant sardne
Believes them purest stones OF value rare!
And that's where they're fooled
Death never takes bribe" says Talmage.
II might be well for the Republicans TO change
their ticket aud make 1t Death and Arthur.-Tn.
didndpolis Sentinel.
The republican argument that because the ne.
groes OF Alabama voted the democratic ticket
hey were bull-dozed, is as conclusive as DR.
Johnson's fayorite argument:
"lf man who turnips cries
Cries not when his father dies
II ID sign that he would rather
Have turnip than father.
Scene A st. Louis negro hosiery: "Who's dat
knockin' at de door, ''John Quincy Adams
Charles Sumner Abraham Lincoln George WASH
ton Jones" "Den you stays outside. Dere,, No
room here for as many as dat"
The following free rendering into Latin NJ i.
great American poem. strange to say, has no,
been copyrighted:
Hornerus johannes
In angulo sedet
Mustaceum Diagnum
In manibus tenet
medic gaudens
Extrahit prunum:
"Puerorum bonorum
En- suspice unum!'
The editor Of the Mendoza Reporter says
when Miss JerSyskieviex recently called On him