St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-03-26
SQuibs.

If the Car of Russia cannot punish
his enemies in any other way, he can
abdicate and go on a lecturing tour
Rome Sentinel.
A Dakota girl has married China
man. He had some difficulty in ex-
planning the state of his heart, but she
finally got his cue.-[ Boston Transcript.
Never deceive lawyer. Never lie
to him about your case when he takes
it in hand. He can attend to that
branch of the business himself.-TPica-
yune.
The Boston Post says ship that re-
Gently sailed for Africa carried 100000
gallons of rum and one missionary, and
the editor then wonders why they took
so much missionary.
The Kansas City Times tells the sto-
ry of a western man who walked 90
miles expecting to hear Queen Victoria
sing in "Her Majesty's Opera Troupe"
He must have been "a blood relation of
the man who attended a concert at
which selection from Mozart's Twelfth
Mass was performed, and remarked
that the best thing of the evening was
''that piece from Mozart's Twelfth
AhdooaChuSSILS.
Two gushing Boston girls were walk
ing QUE day in the suburbs of the Hub,
when they stumbled on a little old
fashioned milestone, forgotten in the
march of improvement. One of them
stopped, and parting the grass, discov-
cred the half efaced inscription. 81. M.
from Boston," upon which she exclaim-
ed, ecstatically: "Here is a grave.
perhaps of some young girl, who wished
1T written on her tombstone, Pm from
Boston, How touching! SO simple,
and so suficientp
Patrick's experience with the eleya-
tOr-Sez l, "Iz Misther Shmith in,
surr 7" Sez the man wild the soger cap,
"Will yez stip in! !" So stips Until the
closet, and all of a suddint he pulls at
a rope, and, it's the troOth IL tellin'
yez, the walls of the building begin
runnin' down cellar as though the diyil
was afther them. "Houly murther ~
sez 1, "whatll become of Bridget and
the childer which was lift below there 2"
Sez the sOger cap man: "Be aizy, surr;
they'll be all right when yez come
down." "Come down, is it ?5 saws I:
and is it no closet at all, but hay
thenlsh balloon that yez got me in 2"
And with that the walls stopped stock
still, and he opened the door, and there
L was wild the roof jist over me head
And that was phat saved me from goin'
up till the hivins entairly.- Boston
Transcript.
The German comic newspapers have
picture of youth astride of horse
which the father is anxious to dispose
OF to customer who stands by, and
the boy, who is in ignorance of the ma
ture OF the bargain, leans from the sad
die and whispers to his parent, "Fatber
shall ride him to buy or to sell 2"
An old farmer who was solicited by a
committee to permit his son to take
lessons IN penmanship from a long
professor, who could teach all
sorts of "hands," with flourishes and
scroll pictures thrown in, said, "No.
let the boy write his own hand, and
then he'll never go to York and be a
fOrger, and ask me to mortgage the
farm and go his bail"
A lover, unworthy of the name.
threatened to publish lady's letters.
You can if you choose" she answered:
ut is only the address that makes ma
blush.n
A New York belle has ordered $500
corset. Great squeezer! what extraya-
gance. This is entirely too much for
artificial hugging.-[Phila. Chronicle
Herald.
You are an oius, hidjus idiit, nv
dear" said a playful mamma to her
daughter at dancing school the other
day. 'Oh, my dear Mrs. T-,n sighed
one OF her neighbors, "what wouldn't I
give to have your knowledge of Latin r1
Il philadelphia Bulletin.
In Frisco: "See here, me Chinese
haythun, Pm wan Of the committee of
national safety; and bringing to me
molnd the words of George O'Washiug-
ton and Dan1 O'Webster in reearred 70
furrln intiooence, ye must 90. Dive
understand! TI Ye must go."-I IHarpeT,s
Weekly.
GLOW much are these goods a ward 9r
sald gentleman in dry goods store
the other day, as he picked up and az
ahmed piece of rutfied silk. "Good
gracious J! cried the horrified clerk
that isn't for sale! That's the end of
a lady's train! She's Just gone mn to
the third story ia the elevator