Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-09-05
PLEASA-NTRLES.

GooDs marked down-Feathers.
ONLY question of time-Asking the
hour.
''PLEAsE pass the butter" as man
remarked when he sent his goat by rail-
A RICH but parsimonious old gentle
man, on being taken to task for his I'M
charitableness, said, "True, don't give
much; but, if you only knew how it hurts
me when give anything, you wouldn't
wonder"
They were at dinner party, and he
remarked that he supposed she was fond
of ethnology. She said she was, but
she was not very well, and the doctor
had told her not to eat anything for des-
sert but oranges.
RECORDER Ito witness with bandaged
head )-"Did he have any pro7ocation
when he struck you?" Witness He
may have had something of the kind
concayled on his parson, but it was q
brick he struck me Wild"
''YoU'vE been in swimming again,
you rascal Don't lie see your wei
hair and your shirt turned wrong side
out! T" "There's no danger, mother I
oan always touch bottom % $50 can I. +"
Mother grasps slipper. Tableau.
THERE is nothing like college educa-
ton to fit man for the battle of life.
A graduate of Cornell University re-
gently married Miss Jennie McGraw, of
Ithaca, n. Y, whose fortune is some
where between $4,000, 900 and $780,.
900.
THE college graduate is Hanging about
the outer edges of journalism, waiting
for chance to Jump clear into the mid
die Of it and astonish the world, and
when he does get the chance he is sent
around to the police Office to see how
many "drrnks have been brought in.
--NeeO Haven Register.
A WITHDRAWING poet asks eff in
come morn or eve 'twere said, by kindly
lips to thee, she's dead She who hath
loved thee more than true, What would'st
thou think, or speak, Or do?" No doubt
he'd feel pretty bad about it, and make
preparations to attend her funeral-and
In few weeks hunt up another girl.
''rM an archer, dear, no longer
Said maiden fair and bright
To her beau, with lips a-quiver,
webster says, toxopholite.r
Then she gave her beau narrow,
Searching glance with pert grimaee,
While he thought his love was archer
TTlan Diana in the chase.
civilian, tell me how you like ittr
"Wen enough" replied the wight;
s'Itis true, among the archers,
Oftentimes talks awful Hght:"
THE marvel of the census of cities is
the increase of GA per cent. in the pop
nlation of Denver, Col. In 1870, Den
yer was a frontier town of 4,759; now
it numbers $4,000.
The Marquis Of Harrington stated re.
Gently in the British House of Com
mons that the cost of the war with Ca
bul was $45, 900, 600 over the estimates
of the Tory. Government. The deficit
which the Government will be obliged
to make up during the next fiscal year is
$16, $50, 0OO
COTTON mills are fiourishing in the
South. The gross earnings of the mill
at Augusta for the. year just closed
We're 1868, 1888; net earnings, $157,371.
After paying 8 per cent. dividend on the
stock, interest, insurance, etc., the Di-
rectors added $50, 900 to the surplus fund,
which now aggregates $318, 1877.
A SUNDAY-soHooL has been inaugural
ed at Augusta, Ca, on novel plan. It
is for the benefit Of the factory children
in that city, and is known as the ''Pina-
fore Sunday-schooL" Its plan of work
ing is to take the children in the
little canal steamer Pinafore up the ca
nal every Sunday afternoon, and on the
excursion the little ones are entertained
with religious teachings and the singing
of hymns.
A GOOD story comes from Newport. A
certain young Boston bachelor, wealthy
but modest, was taking his bath one
morning when his telephone called him.
He sprang FROM the tub and was horri-
fed to hear that a lady, wife of dis
tinguished New York banker, was at the
other end Of the wire, mile away. It
would never do for him to carry on
conversation with one of the fair
sex in his present condition.
"Excuse me. A thousand pardons, he
cried, aghast. He donned his dressing
gown and then repaired to the telephone
and conversed without fear or molesta-
ton.
JIM Brown, a Texas desperado of the
Currie type, recently, while laboring