The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1880-04-15
WIT AND WIsDOM.

Where there's a will there's q
won't.
"A coal-black charger-A negro en-
try-clerk.
"A quarrelsome woman Is always
ready to come to the scratch.
An inquisitive correspondent is in
formed that cremation is a recently
adopted method of firing people out of
this world.-OH City Derrick.
Play spades if you would win pota-
toes; play clubs if you would deal with
ruffian; play hearts if you would win
friendship; play diamonds if you would
win a woman.-M o. RcayunS
The latest puzzle is this:
Boiisd Ba5s EhEss. han
The trick is to get the eggs inside the
troit Free Press.
"A New Yorker put on his dog a
81, 700 collar with the owners name
and address set in diamonds, and yet
that dog got lost and wasn't returned,
while neighbor's dog. which wore no
collar, never was missing.
=" George" said fond mamma to
her little SON, as they were walking on
the beach, "see what q lot of nice lit
tie stones" eyes," grumbled George,
as he cast searching glance around.
sand not living thing to throw 'em
atr'
The Emperor of China has seventy
wives. A tempest in his family teapot
would break China.-N. o. Rcdyu1se.
His wives being chosen by lot, he would
have another drawing that's all. =
Richmond Baton.
An Indiana reporter tells of man
who was shot between the fifty-first and
fifty-second rib. The accurate New
Haven Register says: "If q man lad
been shot that low down in these parts
it would have knocked his knee-pan all
askew."
in the honeymoon. Slightly en-
nmyed husband: Yes, of course L love
you. adore you as much as ever, but
If fellow is obliged to repeat that
assurance every five minutes he would
be reduced to idioey at the end of the
month"; Sarcastic bride: :" Especially
if he began the month by being oneF'
The american Naturalist tells g
funny story about an owl that actually
wrung its own neck until death ensued,
by keeping its eyes fastened on man
who walked around and around the
bird to try the experiment. This beats
anything ever told about one woman
looking at the new bonnet of another
woman while passing on the street =
N. o. Rcayune.
| "A somewhat digni6ed resident ol
Virginia City entered a barber-shop
which was full of men, and the bos;
barber greeted him with: Hullo, Char
ley" s.I always like to come in here y
said the dignified resident, blandly
.'there's only one person in the city
who calls me Charley besides yourself
and that's my wife. If you'd only cal
me dear Charley now. it would make
me feel even more at home. I dou'1
happen to know your first name, my
friend, but it's real kind of you to cal
me by mine" The barber said M
more.
The other Sunday the Sabbath
schools had a lesson which involved ar
explanation of the term hypocrite. II
one of the infant schools a teacher Ia
bored very earnestly to give her clas
a correct idea of the word. One little
girl said she always thought it was ,
great big animal, and she guessed sh'
had seen one at show. "Oh," tn,
teacher said, "a hypocrite is a man WHIT
makes believe to be real good when h,
isn't. Sometimes a man will give 10
of money to church just to make peo
pie think he is better than anybod,
else." "Well, my papa amt hypo
crite," spoke up little girl back in tn
corner Of the seat, '.for he only gives
penny every Sunday.