davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
MISCELLANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS,
DR.. PAUL M. Brennan,
The Most Successful Physician on the Pacific Coast
IN THE TREATMENT OF ALL
CHRONIC AND DIFFICULT CASES,

1ne MOSL successful PnySlclan on Cne racine COaSC
IN THE TREATMENT OF ALL
CHRONIC AND DIFFICULT CASES,
AS RETURNED AFTER AN EXTENSIVE I0UR OF
ne Eastern states for the past four months Inc Doc
cities Of the United States, and back with all the
me most scientific men in the profession Ihe Doctor has
DR. PKT ~ BRY lS RY b 6n 20 eng for IS years
on the Laws Of Life and Health In his private ana public
n nIT M 10 & 9e Rny % and happy III Il Sg rGy %oS b h DE e
ghtfu and Instructive lectures nor can tell everything
Necessary for suffering humanity To know from the public
much learned from him, as experience extends
cleaned b, MIMI IT. NJ ii ,,'s,IIiaton ~ his of.e
gives him such opportunities of learning the delicate dis
eases which the human family prone TO, their mode Of
the Pacific Coast claim He has not only treated these
diseases most successfully hut has mace the me study
as few moments consultation Wiil prove.
weakness and arrangement OF the reproductive organs Of
both male and female including diseases caused by the
FoLLIES OF YOUTH,
such as Sperm NTORRHGA, SEoiIAL W or Loss
OF PERFECT VITALITY Nearly twothlrds of all the Chronic
rngement the sexual system yet this subject
neglected by the majority OF the medical profession.
IT is TRUE
by any form Of sexual disease have detccy in calling
eases 10 exist until their CONSTITUTIONS become corrupted
their organization broken down, and the hope of future
happiness bighed until death becomes welcome mes
Senger TO carry them out Of their miseab existence
Those who call in time upon Dr. PAUL NJ. BitENAN
hee nave no Tear nui what ne VIII restore lhen 10 perfect
roDisut - tI,, , MI, ~ = ,, bis c,.,TJ tr IA r,
Catarh, Bronchitis Throat Diseases, skin Diseases
Rheumatism, Kidney Complaints and all Diseases of the
fail. No Quack Nostrums used no sIop Treatment; 10
false promises Everything strictly confidential under all
CONSTIPATION FREE and a list Of printed questions
sent 10 those living at distance who cannot consult him
All surgical Operations performed
OFFIcE-No 81 First street between oak and Pine Onice
Hoqr.-From 10 20 = A. NJ, 70 ana TO P, NJ
pr Paul NJ. Brenan Coz 90 First street Portland, or -
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
4 STORY BRIEFLY TOLD.

They met. they smiled. they wept. they loved;
He called her Jane. She called him Thomas
4 richer man came down the lane,
And Tom brought suit for breach Of promise
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
IT'S EVEN 50.

Full many a gem of spurious ray serene
The SpOtleSs shirts OF hotel clerks do bear
Full many "a simple. ignorant sariine
Believes them purcst stones Of value rare !
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
Certificate:

certify tine of the lands i'm the Portland
City Humcsiead-the title thereto is perfect being
pacnt-aud authorize j. NJ Rice To sell said property
the foregoing PLAN p y MAltQUAM.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

HET ID YOURSELF BY MAKING MONEY WHEN \
ETH golden chance is offered thereby always keep
poverty your door Those who always take adva-
the good chances for making money that offered
generally become wealthy while those who do not improve
such chances remain i'm poverty We want many men,
and girls rs right
ct..es The business will pay than times ordi-
nary We furnish expensive outh and all that
YOU need free No who engages fails To make money
very rapidly You devote yOurwhole time TO the work
only your spare moments. Full information and all
that IS needed sen, free. Address CO.. Portland,
Maine nOl-N0
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
References:

VIM Reid Banker; Hon. J. H. MITCHELL Ex L. 5. senator:
L. T. Grover L. senator; }. A. Strowbridge Mer-
chant; Meier Frank Merchants Geo H. Hines, Printer.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

SaIO OUTFIT FURNISHED FREE. WITH FULL IN
- ~ truconS for conducting the most profitable bust
that in. The business Is
and Instructions simple and plain. that
anyone make profits from the very
fail who is willing to work Women successful
Boys and girls can earn large sums. Many have
made business hundred dollars a
week. Nothing like known before. All who
surprised at the and pdity with which they
able To make money. You engage in this business dur
your spare time profit You do have
vest capital IT, We take all the risk. Those who need
ready money should write 10 us at once. All furnished
free. Address TRUE * CO., Augusta, Maine. nOi-SO
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

EARLIEST Book AND NEWSPAPER.-It Is said
that printing first introduced into America
by the Spanish Viceroy Mendoza, at the City Of
Mexico, in the year 1886; and the first book pub
lished is believed to have had the title, "Escala
Espiritual de San Jun Climaco." No copies Of
this work are known to exist at present, and the
name of the printer is a matter Of doubt In what
is now the United States, Cambridge Mass, has
the honor of having first introduced the printing
press This was about the year 163s. Stephen
Dave was the first American printer and his
book was the EBAY Psalm Book" issued i'm 1910
The first newspaper was issued at Boston, by John
called the Boston NcWs-Lcffcr and was regularly
published for about seventy-twO years.
-b<-p%--
Harold st. Clair Athelton sends "A love of a
poem beginning, ''Sweetly the roses bloom on my
breast" Harold, thou child of genius change
your shirt and take a bath this minute Next
thing you know you will just be covered with
plantalns and dOg-fennel, or some man will come
along and plant you down in cabbage. HdWkcyc
When an orator gets stitch i'm his side and
"hems" great deal, il is needless TO remark that
he will lose the thread of his discourse II ne keeps
on hemmng
Square umbrellas have been introduced i'm
Paris; but some one says they are just as bad as
the Old kind, because they are never round when
wanted.
a lady who drew a gentleman's dressing eown
ing young man to put i'm it,
a common malfomation-Too long a tongue.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
USE ROSE PILLS.
THE PORTLAND LsRARY ASSOCIATION.

IHt FUhILQNU LTohAhI AoOUIIAIIUNI
Rooms--Corner of First and Stark Streets
.Over I3dd * Tiltons Bank
Contains over Eight Thousand Choice Books
OVER ONE HUNDRED PAPERS AND MAGAZINES.
MEMBERSHIP FREE TO ALL.
MONTHLY DUES. sLoo-PAYABLE QARTERLY
pfrr~roH~-lv. \ Iodd. p. g. schuyler, Jr T. Dcady
H. W. Corhe W. IT. Bracket. \. g. tirbS G.. II. Lewis NJ
W. Fechhcimcr, IT. Failing, l. Blum.
OFFGcEIls- Matthew p Dcady. President: II. Failing
Nce-PrcSident; r. a. schuyler Jr Treasurer; NJ W. Fech
hemer ponding Secretary Henry ONcT Librarian
and Recording secretary.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
THE MIRTHFUL MUSE.
A PURITAN HYMN.

My soul is but a rusty rock
Lord, oil il with thy grace;
And rub il, rub il, rub il, Lord,
Until ! see thy face.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

ANOTHER VERSE BY TILDEN.
The higher the moon climbs above,
The purcr and brighter lis beam;
The older YOU grow, my dear love,
The swecter ana fairer you seem.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

a lady who drew "a gentlemans dressing gown
AT at church fair now wishes to draw "a good-lool-
ing young man to put i'm it,
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

a common malformation-Too long a tongue.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

Square umbrellas have been introduced i'm
Paris; but some one says they are just as bad as
the old kind, because they are never round when
wanted
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18

When an orator gets stitch i'm his side and
"hems" great deal, il is needless TO remark that
he will lose the thread of his discourse If ne keeps
on hemming.
The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-18
Westside Division.
FROM PORTLAND TO CORVALLIS
Wall Traspl

Close connections made at ROSeburg with
Of the California and oregon Stage Company.
Tickets for sale all the principal points California
and the East. e
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-08-04
"Get the Bulge on Him."

On one of the hottest corners of Wood.
ward avenue, Detroit, at high noon re.
Gently, small boy with boOt-biack's kit
sat under the full blaze of sun pouring
down for all it was worth. The hoy per
spired, roasted, Dlistered and almost melt
ed, but he had stuck there for half an
hour, when lady passing by halted and
said:
Little boy, aren't you afraid OF being
sun-struck ~
"Yes, ma'am," was the prompt re-
ply.
Then why. don't you get into the
shade Z"
81 can't"
''Did anyone tell you to wait here9'' she
asked.
''No, marm, but am doing it on my
own hook. It's awful hot and I'm most
dead, but I've got to stand it.
She looked to see if he was tied, and
was about to 60 on and regard HIM as the
son of brutal father in saloon around
the corner when the lad explained:
There he is now, That boy up there
is the chap was waiting for, and | had to
sit out here to see him when he turned the
corner He's the feller that called my Sis
ter poke-eyed rabbit, and I'm going to
jump in on him and lick him most to
death! wish you'd hold my box 50
can get the bulge on him afore he suspects
anything
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-08-04
How Railroad Time - Kept.

There are in use between Albany, and
New York thirteen electric clocks, two of
the number being placed in the waiting
rooms and one in the dispatcher's office at
the Grand Central depot, New York. The
time on the clock in the depot at East AL
bany corresponds exactly with the time In
New York. Each one of these clocks is
connected with the general superintendent s
office in New York, in which the railroad
time is kept on what is called the ''big
clock" Conductors, train men, and others
are compelled to keep their watches in
strict conformity with the superintendent's
CLOCK. 1t is set by standard time and con-
nected with the service department of the
gold and stock telegraph. The time is
distributed over the line each week day as
follows: At ten O'Clock fifty-eight minutes
and three seconds A. NJ. the word slime" is
sent by the main Office to the telegraph
stations between New York and Albany.
This word is repeated for twenty-eight
seconds, during which time operators must
see that their instruments are adjusted. At
ten O'Clock and fifty seconds, seconds,
commence beating and continue
for fifty seconds. The word ''switch" is
then sent over the wire and operators hav-
ing electric clocks connect them immedia-
tely with the circuit known as number nine
wire. Ten seconds are allowed in which
to make the connection. At eleven A. NJ,
with one touch of the New York key, the
hands on the different clocks are set to
eleven O'Clock. If they are fast or slow
they change all at once to the hour 1smed.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-08-04
Only Two Seasons.

Our division of the year into four sea
sons is rather arbitrary. We often have,
especially in this latitude, spring in winter,
winter in spring, autumn in summer, and
summer in autumn. Our two most dis
tinct seasons are summer and winter, and
winter not unfrequently is-as the winter
just past and the winter of -'78-only
ouch in name. Still, if we should consider
that we have but those season, we should
be nearer to nature than we are now. Nav,
June, July, August, September. and Octo-
Der, may justly be ranked with summer.
They are generally warm-very warm-as
many days in April and November are.
While they last, it is generally pleasant and
comfortable to have our windows open,
and out door life is delightful We do not
seem to understand this, at least practically
for we remain within doors far more than
we ought TO. We seem to cling to the
habits of our British forefathers, who.
though they are fond of the outer air and
open sky, have 50 wretched a climate that
they must find their chief satisfaction with
in walls. The Germans and the French
revel in the sunshine, though they have far
less Of ii than ourselves, and take every Oc-
casiOn to get out of doors. We rarely have
an opeL air breakfast or dinner, even the
country; but the Germans and French never
miss chance to breakfast under the blue
canopy. We should be healthier, more
cheerful, more cOntented people, il we
should have more to do with external nat
ure-if we should close our doors and 90
out TO meet her. Our virtual winters are
very long, so long that We ought to appre-
ciate the summer all the more. Novem-
Der, December, January, February, March
and April may be ranked as winter, liber-
ally interspersed with spring and autumn,
but winter largely predominating. Spring,
as definite season, can hardly be said TO
exist here. March is winter with aggrava-
tions; April is not much Of anything in
particular; May is usually very like sum-
mer. Autumn Is by no means distinct; 80
that we may as well adhere to the summer
and winter distribution. We Americans
are apt to associate summer with extreme
heat and discomfort-with thermometers
at 100 deg. in the shade, with drought,
with breezeless nights, with period when
the city is uncomfortable and the country
unsatisfactory. That Is the weather of late
June, Of July and of August but May,
September and October more resemble
what summer ought to be, and generally
is, in this latitude. Our summer must be
calculated at six months; for through all
that period our outdoor life is delightful.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-08-04
That's a Fact.

That's fact" said Mr. Hopkins as he
laid down his paper the other evening,
''every man, woman and child in the coun-
try ought to know how to swim. No one
can tell what minute he will be upset,
blown up or knocked overheard. Amanda,
Tn going to learn you how to swim"
'Learn me,n queried the wife as she
paused in her sewing.
"Yes, you. Your life is very precious
to me, and l don't want you to lose it be-
cause you can't swim ashore when an acci-
dent takes place. can swim like a duck
myself, and | feel guilty to think we've
been married twenty-one years and yet
you'd go to the bottom like stone if you
fell overheard"
"Why, never had the least fear" she
replied. ''There is always some hero
around to rescue a lady,"
''No one wants to depend on heroes. OF
course, I'd jump into the water to save a
lady; but there are lots of men who
wouldn't. Stand up, Amanda, and let me
give you the motions of swimming. Now
then, put your hands so, push them for
ward so, take sweep and bring them back
so. See how easy it's donel You mustn't
forget TO kick every time you move your
arms"
She went through the motions several
times, but so awkwardly that he called
out:
''That isn't the way, The motions
ought 10 be perfectly natural. Now imagine
that you are out on an excursion"
yes"
''You lean over the rail to view some
floating object"
"Yes."
You suddenly grow dizzy and tumble
headlong into the river. Now what mo-
tions would you make as you rose to the
surfacei What would you dol
"Well, if hero jumped in after me I'd
lean my head on his shoulder like this and
let him put his right arm around my waist
and support me until help arrived"
''Hero be-hanged! A hero would look
nice holding up one hundred and ninety
pounds, wouldn't hep"
''He'd look as nice as you would!
don't believe you could keep your head
above water to save your life"
81 couldn't, Ell! Then l won't learn
you single stroke about swimming!"
''Then you needn't !"
"And if any man ever jumps overheard
and rescues you I'll punch his head!"
And if you ever jump in after anybody
L know I'll have TO pay the funeral expen-
ses out of my share of this property"
''Very we'll" said Mr.. Hopkins as he
put on his coat, 81 see / am not wanted
in my own house. If | am not home to-
night it won't do you any good to telephone
Inc at the office, for shall have the wire
grounded
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-08-04
Nellie and her Little Lamb.

Two years ago band of gypsies 'm-
camped at Ginger Ridge, near West Union,
Adams County, Ohio. The farmers In the
vicinity missed sheep, pigs and poultry,
charged their losses to the gypsies. The
leaders of the band were arrested, exami-
ned and discharged for want of sufficient
proof to convict them of sheep stealing,
pig-sty pilfering and hen-roost robbing.
The gypsies moved away, muttering threats
against Mr., John Rainforth, their princi-
pM prosecutor. They crossed the Ohio
river, and encamped on the Kentucky shore.
On the same day little Nellie Rainforth was
missing. She was four-year old, with
sunny face and golden hair, and was last
seen playing with a lamb on the ledge of a
rocky ridge, a short distance from the
house. The pet lamb was gone too, and
neither Nellie nor her lamb could be found
anywhere in the Ginger Ridge region.
Rainforth charged the gypsies with steal
ing his child, and with assistance ransacked
their Kentucky camp. The little golden
sunbeam could not be found in the camp,
and the gypsies denied all knowledge of the
child. Still they might have known, and
some story-tellar in after years might find
the materials for another romance of Nellie
Rainforth's gypsy life. AT all events, the
parents were convinced that their child had
been stolen by the gypsies. and might some
day turn up alive and well. There was
some consolation in the hope. The other
day Rainforth lost sheep, and got on the
trail of its disappearance. There was blood
and wool on the grass and across fences
where the lost sheep had evidently been
dragged. The trail led to a cavern in
ledge of rocks, with an opening large
enough to admit the body of a man, but
nobody was willing to crawl into it. A
blast of powder widened the aperture and
let in the light. 1t was u cave of bones
and horrors. The blast had killed black
snake full fifteen feet long, and two feet
around in the thickest part The sheep was
lying on the floor of the cave among the
CHASTITY relics Of serpents' feasts-dead and
Shiny. An explorer picked up a small hu-
man skull and handed it to RaiRforth. He
said, 'Poor little Nellie" The mystery
was solved. The gypsles were exonerated.
The rest of Nellie's bones-all that could
be found-were gathered together and
buried near where she was last seen play
ing with her lamb-and veracious cor
respondent of New York paper saw the
snake and vouches for the whole story.
That there might be no doubt about the
human bones and TO whom they belonged.
gold chain which the child wore around
her neck was found among the bones.
The mother of the child was not informed
of these discoveries in the black snakes
den, or the funeral on the ridge, as the
father preferred TO let her dream on that
her little golden-hair girl is alive among
the gypsies.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-08-04

His Household Department.

One day recently an editor was startled
by whole tornado Of raps at his sanctun
door. on the other side of which he present
ly 5eheld small mob of matrons of the
vicinity, each of whom bore an expression
of indignant determination on her face, and
dish or pan under her arm.
'tAre you the-the-party who said in
last weeks paper that salad dressing could
be improved by an ounce of cayenne and
some powdered borax?" said one.
Il I-suppose so, admitted the edi-
tor.
''Oh! you are, eh," said the woman,
displaying a sticky green compound.
''Well, perhaps you'd like to finish this
lot. I've got four children home at the
point of death from it now."
''And you are the miserable Ii who
stated that the only way to clean sealskin
was to boil it in milk 3" screamed another,
holding up what appeared to be q drowned
puppy. Look at that ~
'T-er-ahem- really mumbled the
wretched journalist, ''the printer must
have mixed it up with the broken china
item"
'And didn't you print a recipe saying
that few pinches of copperas gave rich
dark color to sponge cakel My husband
has been throwing up steadily since the
day before yesterday morning" sobbed
another, exhibiting what appeared to be a
hunk of stone coal.
"Yes," put in another irate dame, hold
ing up tattered basque; ''and you said
that vitriol would take ink stains out of
velvet. You disgusting old pirate!"
'1-I-think 1t must have been my as
slstant, CHpem, stammered the editor. 81
don't think l wrote anything for that issue
except a leader on our "Accursed Mono
polies."
That's too thin," shrieked another de-
vastated female, putting up green vail
and displaying a parboiled countensnce.
'.Didn't you advise me, down at the mar
ket, yesterday, to cut out your Infallible
Oriental recipe for taking out freckles? 1t
took 'em out, and the skin with 'em; and
the doctor says it is two to one l never see
out of that eye again. Therei You're well
come to what's leftl''
And the half scalped victim broke bot
tie on his nose, while the rest hammered
him over the head with assorted slabs of
indigestion, built according to the Clean
ups specifications; rammed unrisen dough
iu his mouth, and poured a coal tar, arse
mic and sulphur remedy for chicken pip
down ;he back of his neck.
When they were done, the moulder Of
public opinion picked himself up, hunted
for the foreman'smallet, smashed the stereo-
type Household Hints into forty thousand
bits, kicked the devil downstairs, and went
out to trade special notice on the first page
for some courtplaster.
Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1880-08-04
Saved His Brother.

ReAsntly, boy of about twelve went up
street in. Detroit, at such rate of speed
that everybody who saw HIM was satisfied
that he was running for doctor. A man
with kindly expression of countenance
caught the flying boy by the arm and asked
HIM:
''Sonny, is there any one right sick at
your house?"
mo, but there will be if you don't turn
me loose"
"Who is 1t, buffyl"
''Will yer let me go if l tell yerl'
81 will, my boy"
''Well, then, it's my brother Bob. He
will be a remains before night if don't
get home right off. You see, we have Gu
cumbers, green corn, clabber, watermelon
and cabbage for dinner, and if amt there
to get my share he will founder himself
and die. Please let me go so can save
my little brothers life"