The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1880-02-16

-0arilaai RernGa.
;i --
The Newest Interoceanic scheme-Thret
Hundred Millions OF Capital Wanted
Instantly for Its Development.
New Yort. World.
care you the scientific editor Of the
Worldf' askedan elderly gentleman whose
high hat was Of q shade commonly seen
at the season Of the singing Of birds, and
who exhibited in other portions Of his
toilet some additional evidences Of thai
beautiful disregard for the state Of the
thermometer which Is ever the character
istic Of philosophers and tramps. The
reporter assured his visitor that, though
permanently engaged with police COURT
and SO fines, he occasionally took q flyer
at science.
swell, / guess Il your scientific editor
amt likely to be in soon, you'll do. re,
piled the airy philosopher. "You see" he
continued, wiping the Precipitation OF O
January morning from his massive brow.
1--WE got o little scheme which, Ithink,
may interest your paper"
"How many boxes for q dime, and dc
you warrant them nc. 10 explode in the
pocket?n asked the reporter, absently.
The visitor struggled for a moment 10
make the connection, and then went on aS
If nothing had happened.
81 have solved the great problem OF In
ter.oceanic communication. tt Is general
" admitted that my friend NJ. de Lesseps
Ia n shreWd and able man. But this time
he's all at sea-"
cat two seas" murmured the reporter.
$50 are the projectors OF the Tehuante-
pee and the Nicaragua routes. They mean
well enough, but they forget that the day
Of canals has passed. Human ingenuity,
sir, has put canals one side forever"
"Locked them up, as it were" observed
the reporter.
aPrecisely; the canal is a thing Of the
past. Now turn your attentions to the
other equally absurd project" (the stran-
ger had risen and seemed TO be addressing
large and excited %audience); 81 refer &c
the proposed transportation Of ships over
land On o. railroad track. Condemnation
goes with the mere mention Of this utterly
ridiculous scheme. The human imagina'
ton scouts the idea of q ship moving ovei
any substance but water. II it were pos
sible TO pilot vessels upon dry land, dc
YOU suppose Noah would have allowed
his noble craft TO perish on the summit o.
Mount Ararat? No, indeed; she woulc
have been launched in either the Caspian
Sea or the Euxine. Let u%stheretore aban.
don the overland route as unworthy o
serious consideration
"To be sure. Much the wisest plan
Let US by all means abandon the entir'
tsubiect.ns The reporter as he spoke mad
Ian effort to arise, but the philosophe
gently but firmly compelled him to keel
his seat. "Haying now disposed oil th,
plans OF others, let me- he continued
agiye you the outlines OF my. own plan.
The reporter said he should be delight
ed. The reporter lied.
aHayey you ever" beganthe philosopher
in q milder voice, chad occasion to sem
money by q p~ost-ofice or telegraph orde
to a distant friend?p
"oh, you're joking" said the reporter
sat all events you are probably awar
THAT the person to whom money is sen
does not receive the identical bills whicl
werethe property OF his friend. In TIL
fact Is found the key to my scheme: A
az New York, consigns the ship Lucinda
loaded with merchandise, to B, ct Sar
Franciseo. When the master OF the Lu
cinda reaches the isthmus, does he g
Through the canal, running the risk 0
getting damned or fouling O tropical tret
trunkY Does he put his ship inla train 0
cars to have the timbers shaken out 0
herr No, he transfers the Lucinda, carg
and all, to IN agent oil the Government
and takes areceipt for her. The agent
the Government then flashes 8 dispatcl
to another agent who Is on the other Sid
'l-the Pacific side-of the isthmus, Sen,
shin Lucinda, loaded with pen-knives an,
pianos, to B, at San Francisco Withil
ten minutes ofthe arrival OF the first LII
lcinda on the Atlantic shore the second LIZ
Icinda Is blowing her way through the bi
flows of the Pacific. Now tell me, youn
imam. II B, at San Francisco, gets 9 Lucind
loaded with penkniyes and pianos, will
make n continental's difference to hir
whether Il is the original Lucinda or not
Never, unless the first ship contained con
trabRndgoods, and certainly great scheme
are not made with reference to cheateI
!. and l~aw-breakers. There Ia the plan
! what do you think oil It'll"
aBeauiiul,n replied the astonished re
/ porter, "but suppose the agent Of the Gov
eminent on the Pacific side doesn't bal
pen 10 have q Lucinda loaded with per
knives and pianos handy 70 send
"Justt the triling objection which ever
. body raises" replied the philosophe'
Hand ] answer you as l have answere
all others, The Government q pr
vide itself with Luclndas loaded wit
penkniyes and pianos, or the plan Will :
q failure. At first there will probably
some delays and confusion, but as u
Government headquarters on. either sd
Of the isthmus will daily receive all eor
and varieties Of ships and cargoes, u
perfectly apparent, as child can percety,
that the Government must OF necessity
able 70 supply all sorts and varieties
ships and clrgoes. Once set the thiT
going, and there ia no doubt as to
working with perfect success"
~ will speak to the boss about It," sd
the reporter, and quietly stole dow