Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1880-02-07
BOB BURDETTE.
BOB BURDETTE.
Tho :HaWkeYc'' Man has Talk
with a Brakeman, who De.
scribes the Different
Tracks Taken
to Heavenly
Regions.

with a Brakeman, who De. =,
scribes the Different
Tracks Taken
to Heavenly Z
Regions. >
In letter to the Burlington Hawk
eye, dated at Lebanon, Iud.. Burdette
says:
There are not many cedars left i'll
Lebanon now. | suppose the news
papers here used them up tor pehcils.
Or may be the tornado destroyed
them, for this bright little city had a
matinee a few years ago with q tor
nado that pulled down all the signs,
tore up nearly all the trees, walked
off with some roofs, kicked in the
west end of the courthouse and sat
down OH the new Pres sbyterian church,
Il handsome editice that has since
been only partially rebuilt. Since the
cedars are all gone. l live here under
the protecting arm of Charley Will
son, Of the Patriot, who makes my
sojourn SO pleasan, that don't want
to hurry away. This is also the old
home of IL. V. Dooley, OF the Modern
Argo, of Quincy and l have met
more of his friends here than l can
count. Major Horne's old army
comrade. Captain Hudson, of the
seventh Iowa, is a prominent man of
Lebanon, whom l have also had the
pleasure of meeting. 1t is a good
city, this Lebanon, and has a popula-
ton of 5000 people waiting for the
census marshals to come along. Le-
banon is the capital of Boone county,
and Boone is the thirteenth county
in the state for agriculture, wealth
and resources. And there is one re-
markable fact in the history OF the
city and county: They have 10 debt,
either bonded or floating. Aud what
is more remarkable, neither city nor
county ever had u ueDt. They always
pay as they go and they are conse-
auently rich, cOntented and prosper
GUS, and if all the people III Lebanon
are like those 1 met, they deserve to
be rich. There may be some stupid
people III Lebanon, but L wasn't i'll
| troduced to any of them.
On the road once more, with Leba-
non fading i'll the distance, the fat
passenger drumming idly on the win
dow pane, the cross passenger sound
ly asleep and the tall passenger read
ing "Geucral Grants Tour Around
the World" and wondering why
"Green'S August Flower" should be
printed above the doors of "Budd-
hist temple at Benares." To me
comes the brakeman, and seating him
self on the arm of the seat, says:
Il went to church Yesterday"
'Yes p said with that interested
infection that asks for more. "What
church did you attend 2
(Which do you guess?
Some union mission church,
hazarded.
Now, he said. Il don't like to run OIL
tho branch roads very much. don't
often go to church, and when | do, l
want to run on the main line, where
your run is regular, and you go on
schedule time, and don't have to wait
on connections. don't like to rur
; on branch. Good enough, but
don't like it,
Episcopal? p guessed.
Limited Express" he said, 'al
palace cars aud So extra for seat
fast time and only stop Mt big stations
Nice line, but too exhaustive for /
brakeman. All train men III uniform
:, conductors punch aud lantern silver
plated, and no tram boys allowed
! Then the passengers al lowed to tall
back at the conductor; and it make
them so free and easy. No, L couldn'
stand the palace. cars. Rich roat
, enough. Don't hear of Il receiver be
, ing appointed for that line. Som
, might nice people travel on it. too.
'Universaiist = 1 suggested.
Broad gauge said the brakeman
does too much complimentary busi
/ ness. Everybody travels on pass
= Conductor doesn't get fare once il
l fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations
and won't run into anything but
L union depot. No smoking cars o
the train. Train orders are vagu
though, and the trainmen don't ge
Z along we'll with the passengers. Nc
| l don't go to the Uuiversalist, ,thoug
[ know some mighty good men VIII
3 run on that road
'Presbyterian Z? | asked.
:, Marrow gauge, eli p said the brake
Il man, pretty track straight as rule
= tunnel right through Il mountai
Z rather than 90 around it; spirit levt
J, grade passengers have to show thei
}, tickets before they get on the trai,
Mighty strict road but the cars are
II little narrow. Have to sit one in
seat and no room in the aisle t
e dance, then ther's 10 stop-over ticl
/, cts allowed +; got to go right straigh
!, through to the station you're ticl
q etad tor, or you can't get on at al
When the cars full no extra coache
}, cars built at the shops to mold just s
~ many and nobody else allowed Ol
- But ycu don't often hear of an acc
/ dent on that road. 1t runs rigt
J" square mp to the rules
$ Maybe you joined the Freethinl
~ ers.' | said.
+ Scrub road said the brakeman
u dirt road-bed aud no ballast; Il
u, time-card and no train dispatche
III All trains run wild, and every eng
ie neer makes his own time just as /
pleases. Smoke if you want to kin
of gO-as-you-please road. Too ma,
side tracks, and every switch wit
open all the time, with the switc
IT. man sound asleep, aud the targ
he lamp dead out. GET on as you plea
an and get off when you want to. Don
nd have to show your tickets, and Il
ed conductor isn't expected to do an,
dc thing but amuse the passengers. n
on sir, was offered pass but don
rls like the line. l don't like to trav
u. on road that has no terminus. L
Iu YOU huo", SlE, L dshcu II ulVlSlt
to superintendent where that road ru
he to, and he said he hoped to die if
l knew. | asked him if the gener
superintendent could tell the, and
said he didn't believe they had ge
eral superintendent, and if they ha
he didn't know any more about Il
on road than the passengers. | askt
e- him who he reported to, and he sa
lin nobody | asked a conductor wi
On lie got orders from, aud he said
did not take orders from any livii
ell man or dead ghost. Aud when as
re ed the engineer where he got his Q
ders from, he said he'd like to S
anybody give him orders. he'd II
m that train TO suit himself, or he'd II
lin it into the ditch. Now, you see, 81
a | am a railroad man, and don't Ca
To run on line that has no tin
+" makes no connections. runs newher
and las 10 superintendent. 1t may
all right, but Eve railrosded too lol
to understand it,
Did you try the Methodists,
"a said.
his Now, you're shouting he sa
." with some enthusiasm. Nice roa
~ eh ! Fast time and plenty of passe
~. gers. Engines carry power of stes