The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-11-20

spreading himself on; owe, ioul aca., - rail
way car.
The decorative craze grows worse. II Is now III,
fashion To ornament broom handles with full
length pictures Of Sarah Bernhardt.
The crow Ia cav .tious bird.--The hired girl i.
maid to orier-A woman W o goes ~ church
10 show her sealskin sacque is sack religious.
"Te us not In .nournful numbers
Life Is but an empty dream"
When milk Is seven cents quart
And raises mighty little cream.
The editor WAS mad enough to Kill somebody
when he found that by . singular mistake his
foreman had put the h-adinp What W. cat" over
An editorial telling how to fr' d hogs.
"Whut is the first thing 70 he done ~ ease of
frey asked Professor Sirarns. "Sue the inhur.
Ance company" promptly answered the boy At
the foot of the class whose father had been
burned out once or twice. .-
The reaction has already set in. The Orleans,
N. 6eatine, speaking Of a local election there
on Monday, with massive headlines and breaks,
sends these joyful tidings to the country:
Great Democratic Victory! ~Lc CTS Of Or
leans elects Democratic Constable and Road
supervisorl Carry the news to Garfield Wild
Excitement"
Mr. Joseph Cash, of New York, prcdicts that
the catch Of small lish,, On the Ntw England
coast will be greater early next spring than ever
before known. Mr. Cash should Uu added To the
list of net prophets.
A sad case. On last Tuesday ten millions of
men went 10 the ballot-box, and more than half
Of them voted the wrong ticket. Joliet Record.
mistake More than half voted the right
ticket, but they voted in the wrong place. Why
the deuce didn't some 5000 that threw away
their votes on Hancock in Missouri vote In New
Yorkf
patent medicine advertisement reads thus
When lcthargic feeling pcrvades your system,
when you have q disinclinaton to move about;
when you have an adherence to exercise, your
liver is inactive This Will be glad tidings to
many people who have always thought tn. were
lazy when they felt that way. Now they will
know that II was only their liver that was lazy.
A wood stove is not made OF wood -Bos,on
Post. Nor coal stove made of coal. Funny.
isn't ity-Bangor Comnercidl Neither il a sponpe
cake made Of spongcs. TIE hel-Boston Journal
Of Commerce. Nor n hesd-dress made of heads.
Ah-ha!-Salenl Sunbeam. And don't you forget
II, bcdbugs are not made Of beds HUI hurt
hur.-Ogiep Stage Neither are houseaes made
of houses. Ho, ho!-Virginia Stage Nor cat.
fish made OF cats. III! hi! hi!-Esnp,rlia Hylrld.
Nor an oxyoke made of oxen. Haw, haw. baw.
-kankGkee GGstte. Nor barrel organ made OF
barrels. Hoop, hoop, hoop.
flock Of girls il called u brvy; n beyy of
wolves pack; pack Of thieves gang; n gang
Of angels host; host Of porpni,us n shoal; "A
sboaI OF ouilalees herd; a herd OF children
troop a troop of cartridges h coyey; a covey of
beauties galaxy; galaxy OF rutlians a horde
horde Of rubbish heap: u heap Of oxen a
drove; drove OF blackguards a mob; a mob of
whales school; school of worshippers a con.
gregation; congregation Of uginecrs corps
1" corps Of robbers tapG; II bad of lucu.ts a
swarm; swarm of people a crowd; aud crowd
az water a food.
The wife OF professional gentleman Of De.
hoit recently advertised for cook and received
among others, the following response;
Mrs. = This in reply TO your advertisement
ior cook, 10 which | wOnld say hat II could
hhd or learn OF place that would suit me per
haps would take It, ! want rood placc
nrstcldss, as FAR rs character il concerned and
the partys that work for must be kind resnrct
'ui ana Enthusiastically in accordance with Sd
ehapler Of Colioriano, ~ 49, II ID; also l7th
verse And wherever W. h dr,ir.. 10 be boss
oil my own kitchen. My position ar cuuk oupbi
10 I've conducted on business rule. like a .Judge
vi any procession Also as such partvs can live
above want lhey can iINu~I- Nv. ,l,pye wnslr
Therefore want il ~ IN, Driyi'es.. ia c,refnIy
save all can Tor some poor stray inortals some
.neIc 'nat may ttahu h"Ii. IA Ivvd. | sish moi
10 cause any one unnecessary trouble by the
presence III the Kitchen any more than Is neces |
.ary unless Their motive is good, Also the work
done by o'clock O. a. d. ,.,. a LII 40
that each and all can ii -. NH, mr. In |
.h hgr own pleasure as they desire. and above all
p p = t.ic5 mus . III aspect |
Remembering now II you Mrs - ran comfy
WIN those rules and give - ..y.ce accord.
ing. and II you viii address me VIII renIy 10
you. would not man. o., u and yonr
place awhile anyway. IL er, . RI Odd do ns
90 mere would be better n. s-e, and better
places than what there are, a., ,.d iii. ,Yo,,lS
not be crushed dowr nd - ... -, 80 ara
now. Address me with your reference a. fbsyo
sere stated.
THE DIVINE AND GAuzr Sara.
What is this Sara slim.
49, iat euVi- ia4 e..
That Eis ths ,-,.s,
Is 1t imaginative,
Some thought creative
Or just mingla.. . L yapors,
Perhaps bit Of fog
From DER the ocean
Borne - - 80
Or me.S LSssva,
a gaseous fancy, Frenehy, too,
Or just bit % = -. sd dew
Ether materislizea,
Varrsb 81
= A fluid that will solatiiirc
But we sadly n tf
lis bit ~ French, =.