Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1880-07-15
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A Put up Job,
From the San francisco Nsws.Lettes

said broken up looking young man
coming into the oIfioo one day and
sitting down in front of the manag.
ing editor, land | call upon 1t for aid
and council.
The editor looked rather pointed
" st the clock, aud asked what he
could do fer the visitor.
"Why [ want you TO hold up to
pablo scorn and dctestation fellow
called Mooney, and mean rod
headed girl called Morrisey."
Scandal case, Ell p
GA heap sight worse. You see, |
was engaged to DO married. to that
girl-her names NJ Aria-and DR.,
Stone was to hitch US up the first If
the month, so | asked this mean cuss
Mooney, to be ono Of the groems,
men,
lie consented. ii course"
"You bet ho did. You see, Moon
ey has biz black mustache, and
IND all that-and he's a good deal of
mashsr, as it were. IIa said he'd
try 70 make it lively aud pleasant
for the bridesmaids"
"And did he?
why, ho actually made love to
all four. 1T Tho olhor groomsmen
furious by flirting with tho whole
lot. Told 'em i. was tho correct
thing 10 Eur1 pc for the groomsmea
to kiss the bridesmaids all around
before and after the ceremony, and
that .ney ought to meet and prac-
tice to get tho thing in good running
order.p
"Dld they practice p asked the
editor, laying down bis pen.
"Did they? Why, it was just
disgas iag he way they wort on
every evening. 70 see the yiit1n
Mooney pretend TO steer dawn the
aisle and back up against tho cham
eel rail, and thon, when she mock
service was eyer, kies and paw
around the girls, would hAvo made
your hair rise foot. Why, ho ae-
tuslly began flirting with my Maria
i made that Morrisay girl
"Made love to the bride, eh ?"
exactly, and she letting him do
it-mind you. Well, tho other day
they said they were going to have a
fine rehearsal that night, and to
make the thing moro perfect they
intended to get Bings, the young
divinity student, to read the SER
vices. AS was going ov8r to Oak
land with load Of furniture for our
new house, Moonev said hs would
offioiate in my place.
THAT was kind of him."
But wait e minute. When | got
back and called at Maria's house
about II P. NJ, | found all the party
sitting around the parlor looking
very serious, except the bride, who
seemed kinder frightened. "What's
the trouble ?" said | F.; what's hap
pened I"
"Well, the fact is,' said the
cheeky Mooney, "rhcre's been q
most singular acoident-the queer
est mistake you ever heard Of in
your life. You see, we were re-
hearsing the service as usual, and |
was holding Marla's hand just like
this, whan young Bings got sorter
absent minded, so to speak, and the
frat thing we know be pronounced
US man and wife in the regular form
and now says we sre married in
earnest. Too bad isn't ii ?n
singular mistake" said tho edi-
tor.
"But tho worst Of it was the way
that false-hearted hussy took ii.
She said it was pretty hard, but
what couldn' be cured must be en-.
dured, and tina. she supposed they
couldn't get divorce under . year,
anyhow, and a lot of stuff like
that"
"Peared resigned TO hor fato, as il
were"
Exactly ; and than Mooney chip
ped in with lot of stutf about not
crying over split milk, and said he'd
take the furniture off my hands and
pay for the ring. Said he'd give
his noso for ON, Check? That
mas has moro gall than . pawn
brokers' clerk, and | want you, Mr..
Editor, to show him and bis read j.,
headed, big footed wife up the worst
way. Accident, indeed Why its
tho rlainett put up job | ever saw
in the whole oonrss of my life. Jus!
let 'em have It in italics, il you
plesse, aud Iii take fifty extra cop,
les"
The editor said he'd attend TO it,
aud has jnst written to Mooney to
say that position as reporter was
always open 70 him on this go ahead
/ i3urrhl