The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1880-06-26


The Rev. c. w. Parsons OF Governeur, n. r.,
sent notice to the local paper that ne ~ouiu
preach to the students in the seminary on Tue
Force that Wins" but a printer made II READ
"The Horse that Wins" and the parsons con-
gregation was shocked.
"The men who compose the republican party
are not fools" is the announcement OF the 'hi-
n,yo you,,nai We are glad to have this assur-
aucc, for the proceedings at Chicago lea VT 10
the contrary conclusion.-Etghn L"a"eT'
What, Blaine?
Blaine Of Maine
Licked again"
stranger, that same
Blaine Of Maine.
Licked again. H""''
A Rockford girl had her corset torn or by
stroke Of lightning, and was uninJureu, nu.
Young man who had called to borrow book had
his right arm shattered and piece OF corset steei
blown into his liver. He said he didn't know sue
was loadcd-Peck'S Sun.
Thirty small boys were arrested in Dallas, lex
as, for giving negro minstrel show without
license, the complainant being the owner OF an
old building which they had used without per-
mission. They were tried before the Mayor, who
said II find the prisoners guilty and fine them
one dollar each. The alternative is one day
in iail" The Consideration among the offenders
was very great But" his Honor added, VI
WAS bow once myself and went on the end in
lust such performance. will pay these ines
myself
"No real generous man." remarks an ex-
change, "would 90 to spiritual seance gwen
by n lady medium, and just as the ghost is walk
ing about while the medium is tied in the cabl-
nett exclaim: There's a rat right by the ghost.
II spells the effect to have the ghost yell and
gather up its skirts and run"
SCENE IN NEVADA COURT ROOM.
"Have you engaged, or do you depend
On a lawyer your case to defend"
| Thus to a pris' ner spoke the Judge
good man, free from bias or grudge
81 guess" was the polite reply,
Tibet with the courts permission,
VIII Jest sorter defend myself
| | amt dead yet nor laid on the shelf"
| And then that pris' ocr grabbd stool,
| And with look determined and COOL
| He settled the sheriff with one on the head
| The next thing done was to clear the shed;
| And then, without the slightest remorsc,
The rascal rode of on the judges gray horse.
| But few words rhyme with adviser"
The advertiser,
He is wiser
Than the Kaiser,
| About exhaust the panel. Detroit FIRE. Press.
Then perhaps you never heard that: There once
was miscr who lived by gcyser and fast roll
ing Iscr, and married Elizer, and tried to advise
| her that no early riser would ever despise her
but highly would prize her II early she HES hei
| to kitchen and fries her old mans appetizer in
the shape of a good breakfast before he gets W
| in the morning. And the panel isn't exhausted
| -IhRddeiphia Bulletin.
THE PUZZLED CgNsus.TAKEK.
| scot any boyst" the marshal said
I To q lady from over the Rhine;
| And the lady shook her tiaxen head
| And Civilly answered, "Nine"
''Got any girlsw the marshal said
| To the lady from over the Rhine
And again the lady shook her head
And civily answered, mine"
"But some are dead the marshal said
| To the lady from over the Rhine;
And again the lady shook her head
| And ciyilly answered, "Nincn
Husband, OF course the marshal said
| To the lady from over the Rhine;
And again she shook her laxen head
| And civilly answered, Mine"
''The ID you havew the marshal said
| To the lady from over the Rhine;
| And again she shook her tlaXcn head
And cvily answered, mine"
"Now what do you mean by shaking your heaC
| And always answering NineW
| "Irh kann klein EnglisChi' civil said
| The lady from over the Rhine. -Sdh.