Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1880-01-16
Humorous.

A new commentator declares that the
reason "the boy stood on the burning
deck" was because 1t was too hot to sit
down.
A physiognomist says that large ears
denote generosity, which is probably
the reason that mule is 50 extravagant
with its hind legs.
Young man, if at first you don't sue
coed in standing upon pair of skates,
"try, try again" 1t will make lots of
fun for the crowd.-NeaU Haven Register.
The small boy never wishes he was
twins except wnen two different Sunday
school Christmas trees are being held
the same evening.
"You have not given me my change"
said the gentleman to the saloon-keeper.
81 gave you So bill, you know"
"Shange, shange ?" was the astonished
reply. "Vat you mean? Wasn't you
candidate, don'd it.
II say, old fel, you haven't a 5franc
piece about you that you don't know
what to do with, have you?" There's
one" Johannesburg, hello, say, you
know, it's bad p "You asked me for
one / didn't know what TO do with. -
Boston Courier.
1t is asid that Victor Hugo kisses Tie
aides at meeting and parting That's
all right at parting, but kissing them at
meeting is new dodge in the way of
getting up religious revival Brooklqn
Register.
A man who quit keeping diary, be.
cause he could never find anything to
write in it, was the next day run over
by cart, beaten out of SO on dog
trade, blackguarded by a ishwife and
drawn on jury. He will resume the
diary.
After family prayer, few evenings
since, little Quincy boy asked: "Mam-
ma, how can Goa hear folks pray when
hes so far away p Before the lady
could frame suitable reply, sunny
faced little miss of summers vehem-
emily said: "I'll jes' bet he's dot tele-
phones runnin' to every place !"
This is leap year, and the Cedar
Rapids (Iowa) Times exorts young H.
dies to assert their rights and claim
their privileges early and often. "When
the boys call, tell them if they mean
business you are ready to take their fu-
ture happiness into consideration, but
if they don't you've other fish to fry,
and you cannot afford to waste gas and
fuel for the sake of simply being
spooney.
"Now, Johnny, you've had a merry
Christmas, and you must be good till
next Christmas to pay for it," "On, yes,
Of course be good; | don't b'lleve you
can hire me to be good for year, for
tin horse and story book just like what
Bill Jones was going to trade me for
three marbles. Not much. "-NeW Hd-
zen Register.
Gentlemen, said Yankee auction
eer, with true pathos, "if my father and
my mother stood where you stand, and
did not buy this stewpan-this elegant
stewpan going at one dollar should
feel it my bounden duty as son 10 tell
them both that they we're false to their
country and false to themselves"
Brothers and sisters. - Scene, skating
pond J Grown-up sister VERY pretty i
"Oh, Charley, if you mist go away,
can't you introduce me to one of your
schoolfellows, TO look after me till you
come back p Cnarley-'0h, no 1t
wouldn't do 1t would be so rough on
fellow to flag him out like that. -
Punch.
II wish you would keep your mouth
shut |" exclaimed Hollemrunt, the dem
tist suddenly losing patience with the
patients predilication to talking. All
right" said the latter suiting the action
to the word. And then Holemount
asked him If he would be so kind as to
open it again long enough for him Hol.
lemount TO get his finger out. You
never know how ~ please some men,
Boston Transcript
The attempt upon the life Of the
Gar Of Russia vas Moscow-ardly