Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-07-08

A PERPLExED BRIDEGROOM.

Some days since very rustic and lnartlstlc
couple, residents of Kentucky, near the Ten
nessee line, concluded marriage to be their
destiny, and with this idea, came to the Wes-
tern Athens, desirous Of sacrificing them.
selves to Hymen at the earliest opportuni.
ty.
In due time they arrived in this city, and
repairing to the Spencer House, informed clerk
Andrew Blum that they were extremely in
tent on perpetrating matrimony, and that
nothing could thwart their purpose. Mr..
Blum, so far from wishing to prevent their
amiable immolation, made every effort to
facilitate their design, and 50 well did he sue
ceed, that in less than an hour "James" and
"Jemima" were welded as firmly as lay in
the capacity of clergyman to bind them.
The clerk, after the ceremony had been
performed. believing that all new married
people ought to be as we'll accommodated as
p.,ssible, gave them a parlor and bed room
on the third floor, and bade them "good
evening" about ten o'clock, not neglecting to
wish then, every possible bliss.
The twain meekly followed the servant to
the rooms. and were left alone there for the
night the clerk thinking no more of them
an easy chair behind the counter in the Office,
he was aroused by voice saying: "Look
here, Mr.. Clerk, oh, Mr. Clerk, I'd like to
speak to you just mint, and now
Mr.. Blum opened his eyes, and beheld his
rustic friend, hatless and coatless, with a
flushed face and dishevelled hair, and such
generally disarranged attire as indicated that
he had been undergoing some very violent
exercise. ...
"Well, sir, of what benefit can I be to
your"
"Why, why, didn't like to trouble you
and l don't know how you fellows does
things in this big town; but, but, -"
"But what ? my good FRIEND" questioned
the clerk, anxious to free the ruralist from
his confusion, each moment on the increase
"why' why, you know we're married-Je'
NINA and me-"
"Oh, yes, and I wish you all manner Of
good fortune, my fine fellow
oval, | 'spose YOU do, but confouud if
can get the hang of things in this darned
place. May be I'm green guess l am sort
o that way; by jingoes, you do funny here u
Explain, if you please, my man. What
do you wish to say?'
ave don't care, Jemima and me, for lit
tie while. but to roll on the floor all night
it's devilish hard stranger, I'll swear it is"
Roll round on the floor, what do you
mean?"
"Well, 1 'spose it isn't what you call fash
ionable in big town. but by gumbo where
we come from, married people alters goes to
bed
"Haven'r you been in bed ?" asked the
clerk in great surprise.
why, how the devil could we 60 to bed
when there wern't no bed to 60 to? That's
what we want the worst sort"
my good fellow, there's bed in your
room. Did you not see it in your chamber
in the rear of the parlor?" ....
did you give US moran one room, stran'
ger? BY jingoes, didn't know it. It's all
l wsnt-all ri ght, old feller;' and so saying
he ran up stairs, and before the clerk could
ascend to the chamber, the bucolic was in
bed, and replied to the knock on the door
Call right now; I've found it - Jem;ma and
me are satisfied. We don't want you, ali
right God bless you, old fellow. All right
fust-rate, God bless you; good night"
Mr. Blum went chuckling down to the
office at the idea that the unfortunate rural
ist had passed four hours in his parlor with
out even supposing that there was bed
chamber attached.
Poor simpleton; no wonder he was em.
barrassed and troubled-under the circum.
stances.