The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-04-14
APRIL II
VARIETIES.

"A HAL u luS 1Clb SLiOOV ~ OIL III
dividual who, years before, ran away
with his wife. He said in his will
that he never forgot favor.
Susan B. Anthony has just cele-
brated her twenty:second day.
free Press. Does this mean that
she was born on the Doth of Febru.
airy?
One-fifth more flooring and siding
is needed than the number Of square
feet of surface, because of the lap in
the siding and the matching of the
floor.
A Kansas boy earned nice Bible
by committing 800 verses to memory,
and then he traded his Bible tor
shotgun, and accidentally shot his
aunt in the leg.
"A senses taker," said the old
lady; "waal, there's me an Jeremiah,
and Sarah Ann, an that's all, 'cept
Jim, an he's tool, an amt got no
senses to take"
Why are two young ladies kissing
each other like an emblem of chris
tianity? Because they are doing
unto each other as they would men
should do unto them.
The other day carpenters son,
aged six years, who had been left
alone in his fathers workshop, was
disturbed while engaged in the pain
tul operation of screwing up his eyes.
He was immediately taken to a sur.
geon.
"My dearest Maria" wrote a re-
Gently married husband to his wife.
She wrote back: dearest, let me
correct either your grammar or your
morals. You addressed me My
dearest Mara. Am l to suppose
you have other dear Marias :"
A tree does not drop it's fruit at
the first stroke you give it; you
must shake it again and again. So
with prayer; shake the tree of life
ill the desired mercy drop into your
lap. Christ loves men to pray
earnestly, and importunately.--Spu'
ge0n.
A clergyman in New Orleans was
agreeably surprised to find a plump
turkey served up for his dinner, and
inquired of his servant how it was
obtained. Why, SIR replied Sambo,
dat turkey has been roostin' on our
fence three nights; SO dis mornin' l
seized him for de rent OBJ de fence
Hark ! I heard an angel sing, sang
young man, in an outside township
school exhibition.
No, faint, shouted an old farmer,
in one of the back seats; it's only
my old mule, that's hitched outside
The young man broke down and
quit.
Invalid: I've had wretched
night, Mrs. Wabbles." Nurse:
''Dear, dear me, sir thought you
slep' most comfortable Invalid
with groan): ooh Mrs. Wabbles,
do use the adverb!" Nurse: eyes,
sir; I'll see about it directly, sir-but
-(puzzled)-"I RELY don't think
there's one in the 'ouse, sir!
"Poor boyw said a lady, as she
took out her purse to give the little
beggar some change. Eyes, l am a
poor boy" said the young rascal,
squeezing a tear out OF his ewes,
"and have three sick mothers to sup
port" The lady put back her purse,
shook her head, and walked sadly
away.
1t was mean man who slipped
his hand between the heads of a
young man and young lady in the
front seat as the train entered the
tunnel. He said afterward, the
young mans beard was very stiff.
but the pressure on the other side
OF the hand felt like the tips of fur
Tie.
sob, dear 1 feel to tired" sighed
Mrs. Hickenooper, as she sank into
chair. swell, | should think YOU
would be- growled Mr.. Hickenloop.
er, as he put on his coat to 60 out
you tramped around morn seven
miles this afternoon making your
silly calls. should not call myself
half bright if did such thing
Aud then he went down street, and
walked nine miles around a billiard
table poking ivory marbles with a
stick, at twenty five cents all hour,
aud she thought how hard he had to
work at his BUSINESS. poor man, when
he came home at midnight. and