The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-03-25
Uartetu.


cause he put another mans name to the note.
tits easy to run down the accomplishments Of
your neighborr but harder to run ahead Of them.
When thief snatches watch and transfers It
to confederate he does 80 merely to pass away
time.
Let the toast be--dear woman r. as the hungry
husband said to his wife, who was in hurry to
clear off the breakfast table.
d" Put the armchair in the attic
1t has earned needed rest;
For the pair 1t of supported
Now are married and gone West"
Thomas Hood once said: Charity I hate it's
very name II lis a mere shield thrown over hate.
full people. How are we TO love those we like
properly II we don't hate the othersP"
Professor In Psychology What Is the first power
developed by mani Senior (sOmewhat mixed)-
Well.-1-well--I suppose to creep Senior sits
down amid wild applause.
At the dinner table-George What do you
call that piece Of wood in the roast beefYp Lin.
coin: That is called skewer" George: "0h!
that keeps the meat secure, does itp
May" says Victor Hugo, was the conundrum
OF the eighteenth century woman Is the conun.
drum Of the nineteenth century" An American
editor adds: We can't guess her, but will never
give her up; no. neverl"
An exchange tells how the proprietor Of a paper
mill presented each employe with turkey on
New Years. Paper will go up cent a pound
next week, you see If 1t don't, They don't let
such chance slip.
Michigan man has actually invented a flying
machine, and the only defect that can be discoy.
ired in It's workings is that man cannot fly with
1t. The defect, IFS Believed, can be remedled.
Ashanger dropped wallet containing 5000
on the streets at Fair Play, Col, and the citizens
let 1t lie there until he came back !ior 1t. They
thought 1t was some new feature introduced into
the string game,
Counterfeit coin never succeeds In spelling the
character ofgold; 1t only compels one to ring eV-
cry piece on the counter. SO pretence never
harms religion; 1t only makes men little more
watchful.
The retiring StOrekeeper of the Virginia State
Penitentlary admits that the accounts Of his prl-
Vate business became mixed with the accounts Of
bis office. In all cases Of deficiency 1t generally
comes out that accounts and things have been
mixed.
gentleman accidentally steps on a dainty
poodle led by an elegant woman. Stupid A
little more and you would have crushed Fido"
"Ah If had crushed him would have replaced
him." You Aatter yourself"
Flasher, having had his portrait painted, asks
the opinion OF his friend DObbs, the retired house
painter. Dobbs: Well, itslike you; outtt you We
paid G26 for It, you've been done. Why, there
Amt half pound Of paint Oh the whole Lningl"
There is one thing about this Edison light, says
Pecks SUM- that we have not seen described, and
that Is the meier. II the same meters are TO be
used that are used by the gas companies that set
ties 1t. The lighi will not be- economical.
" Prisoner at the bar" said the judge, 4" is there
anything you wish to say before sentence Is
passed upon youf" The prisoner looked wist-
fully toward the door, and remarked that he
would like TO say Good evening"" II 1t would be
agreeable,
As sins proceed they ever multiply like figures
in arithmetic the last stands for more than all
that went befOre.--Sir Thomas Browne.
The authority of reason is more imperiOus than
that Of 4 master; for he who dlsobeys the one is
unhappy, but he who dsobeys the other IS fool.
The difference between riding horse and rid.
ing hobby consists In this, that one can get of
a horse at any time, but once on hobby, man
can never get off.
Wisdom is better than riches Wisdom guards
thee, but thou must guard thy riches. Riches d.
minish In the using, but wisdom increases in the
use Of It,
We sometimes learn more from the sightoH eVi
than from an example Of good. We should learI
then to profit by evil, since It Ia so common whilC
goodness IL 30 rare,
"This is my plaything" say the children; "tha
sunny seat Is mine" This Is the beginning anC
exempliHcatlon OF the selhshness and all the usur
pAtions Of the world. a
All reasoning Is retrospect; It ConsistS in the Sp
plication Of facts and principles previousl
known. This will show the great importance o.
knowledge, especially OF that kind called expe
rienCe.-J. Foster.
A Denison (Texas) girls foot was badly wound
ed, resulting In lockjSw. A physician was called
and terror al the sight Of the edged instrument
produced a reaction, and the girl was we'll befor
anything could be done.
A manufacturer who threatened to discharg
ell his workmen II they did not tell him VIII
whIstled deIlsively at him, whenever he entere
the works, was appeased by the discovery that
squeaking shaft was the offender.
A young lady OF Philadelphia had her pockt
o picked Of a wallet containing 49, On ascertain
ing her loss she found that diamond ring, prC
j. nounced to DO worth $500, had slipped from th
thiers finger during the operation and RENAME
in her pocket.
When Deadwood undertaken, says the Bosto
Post gets new hearse that is particularly hr
the citizens sometimes get up q free fight and sla
somebody, 10 ss to sec the vehicle in procession
Deadwood IS live town.
"You made fool OF me !" said an irritated ma
10 to his wife, " and that's the way you got me
:. marry you" my love-" sweetly responded Il
: wife, "you do yourself an injustice. Call you
self fool, II you please but remember that 20
=" are in all respects selEmade man."
One day was compounding a simple coug
. remedy for my little 9.year.old, who had seve
cold. He stood watching the process, and askC
d If 1t was good" On letting him taste, he e,
n claimed: "Its awful good. mamma. Let's keC
9t 1t all for papa I"-HGper.
q The late MenSignor Dppanloup said II wi
Y respect human liberty in the smallest child eve
n more scrupulously than in grown man, for Il
latter can defend II against me, the child osnnC
e Never will insult the child so far as to regal
him as material to be cast into mould 10 emerI
~ with the stamp given by my will"
% A New Jersey physician, heavily loaded wi
town lots for which he had paid only In pal
hastily prescribed a box Of pills for patient ar
allowed his mind to wander back to his real z
tate, The patient asked how the pills were to