The comet. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1877-1882, 1880-08-21
Pipps' Patent.

The other morning, as the gentle
man who stands at the head of this
chaste family journal was busily en-
gagged on a terrible leader, entitled
"Our Infamous Sewer System" he
became concious of an exceedingly
powerful and unpleasant odor. After
swearing abstractedly for some time,
without looking up-a journalistic
custom of great antiquity-the editor
turned round and beheld thin young
man, wearing ye-glasses and carry
ing small leather box, from which
the odor in question seemed to proceed.
"Goob grachusW exclaimed the
journalist, holding his nose-a process
that gave him the intonation of bad
cold in the head "wog the deflel you
want ?"
"Permit me to explain" said the
odoriferous party taking chair.
"My name is Pipps, and 1 am the.
benefactor of my race, as it were,'
"Whak makes you smell so allfiber-
ed stog" gasped the other.
at isn't me, my dear sir; it is this
box, which contains my wonderful in
vention, and which want to see you
about writing up and the philanthro-
pst opened his case,
"Grabe seed ~ said the quilldriver,
slamming up the window as the full
fragrance of the contents arose "do
YOU Wad Ter murder me?n
at will only take me moment to
explain my invention, which call the
Great National Bore Bouncer or Uni
veral Time EcOnomiZer, n Boon to
Business men," said the visitor.
$50 to thud-n
"You see, some simple and effect
ual means of preventing the present
fearful loss of time from bores and
loafers has been long felt want
among the business community
You are in hurry to keep an engage
closes. Very well some long winded
nuisance button-hoIes you on the
corner, and before you can decently
switch him off it's too late"
"Will you geb oud? said the
pencil parer, on the verge of asphyXi-
alton.
"Try to breathe through your nose a
few moments and give me your entire
attention." calmly continued the in
ventor. "Now how was this button
hole business be to put an end to
promptly, but without causing offense?
Why evidently by the introduction
of some element extremely distasteful
to the bore himself"
II dode care a dab. If you dode go
I'll cav her Poledes.n
"Now what was that element to be ?
After eight years OF unremitting labor
/ discovered the exact thing-cheese
ooh, cheed it ~
eyes, sir; cheese--Limburge cheese.
No one but half full Duchman can
stand the smell of that, we all know;
and we have an extra strong kind for
them even. We simply inclose half
an ounce of the high proof quail
ity Limburger in one of these little
ornamental oroide badges. The cheese
is covered by this small alright slide,
which is worked by string running
down inside the vest and attached To |
the watch-chain. All you have to do |
is to unObserved pull the string. The |
bore begins to cough, looks surprised, |
puts his handkerchief tc his noze, |
apologies and walks off,"
ovid no boggy brig me cub?'
rOared the editor, opening his mouth
to breathe, but still clamping on to
his OlfactOries.
"But you will ask, how do we pre-
vent the Bouncer being equally often
sive to the wearer? We have pro-
vided for that. With each badge
price fifty cents) goes pair of these
little highly perfumed sandal wood
nose pads. You insert these into the
nostrils when you perceive the bore
approaching, and there you are"
Cpl figs you i'm a middit,n grimly
the journalist, fumbling in
l drawer with his disengagel hand.
'I'll bow you full oh holes
"Of Course the nose pads give the
eatures slightly Jewish east" con-
inued the pattentee, earnestly, "but
what of that? A minute saved is
-
But the journalist had finally fished
'ut the fighting editors derringeI,
md the business mans benefactor
made a lunge for the stair
.ase. The molder Of public opinion
ired his box Of samples after the in
'entor, and has since contracted a
cold by sticking his head
Mt of the window, so that the wind
ould blow the peculiar scent Of the
souncer out Of his hair.-San Francis
O Post.