Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-01-17
MY NEIGHBoR's WIFE.
CHATTER I.
IN TWO CHAPTER

nounces my name in a timid. deprecating man
ner, suggestive Of. What? inwardly run
over list of diSagreeables peculiar to her sex
servants, new bonnets, matchmaking, and
last but by no means least, house-cleanihg.
Yes mother,"I reply. as cheerfully as the
circumstances will permit
'What very settled weather we're having fol-
April"
thought so-it Is housekeeping.
ut won't last, though" is my unfeeling re-
"DOn't you think so, dear? / am sorry for
that. | thought it would be such an excellent
opportunity for having The house cleaned and
"Ohi pray don't put yourself TO the trouble
Of having II re-papered on my account, mother .
mo, my dear. 1t is very eonsiderlte OF you
to wish to save me trouble; but Lady Haughton
was advising me to have our rooms done ike
hers, on the 'high-art' system
Bother, Lady Haughton!' mentally eiacu-
late.
pretty well guessed she was at the bottom
of the mischief. II is she who has been giving
my mother lessons In ''high-art.' or course IL
is! Before she came into the nelghborhood, my
rGreyed parent was as 'art-eSS'' as a new born
bfbe; now she is transformed into a true daugh-
ter OF Eve.
! am an only son. and my mother Is q widow.
Before the advent OF the Aforesaid titled lady Il
happier pair than we two could not be found
under the sun; but since that ill-starred day
VIXEN We were honoTe1 by an ''At Home,n to
which in an evil hour we responded, my dorNeS-
tic felicity has come to an end. InceSSant visits
arc interchanged between the two ladies. who
have conceived that violent liking for each
other incomprehenSible TO man. but part and
parcel OF women'S composition. Ii Lady Haugh-
ton is not at our house, my mother is at hers.
IN. R.--It is more frequently the former for
the rent roll of the House OF Haughton Is far
from long) Then "dear Mrs. Gilchrist's lttl
dinners are so admirably arranged" and .'dear
Mrs. GilchriStS carriage is so roomy, and rides
so easily" in short, all dear Mrs. GichriSt'S
possessions are so superior to s'dear Lady Haugl-
tons, that my misguided relative Is actuated
by the profoundest pity to lend every portable
article in the hOuse-including our French cook
to her less fortunate friend, and to work my
fayorite chestnuts almost to death. Can you
wonder then, that my feelings toward this dis
turber of our peace are the reverse OF amiable
and that my assumed cheerfulneSs suddenly
vanishes at the mention OF her name? In fact
i am afraid look decidedly cross as push back
my chair from the table, and answer: 'Well,
then. mother, since you deem it a positive ne
cessity to turn the house out-of-windoW5,
shall run down to the seaside for a week or two
can't and won't endure being hunted from one
room to another to please Lady Haughton and
you know the abominabe odor of paint always
knocks me up
'.Where do you think of going, dear?" asks ny
mother cOmpoSedly.
"Oh | don't know.' is my ungracious reply;
and lighting cigar. l stroll into the garden TO
mediate on a bachelors woes; for had nv
mother been my wife, she would have been
bound to obey me, not her.
Hitherto have entertained profound horror
OF n.atrimony, founded upon the experience OF
sundry male friends-well, We'll say bIessei
with partners of the Haughton school. but sine
breakfast my ideas on that subject have been
undergoing q rapid change. A wife may be con-
trolled; mother, tilial respect forbids to be.
Fortunately-or unfortunately, which ever tn
case may bel am by no means susceptible to
the tender passion; in fact pride myself upon
my heart being perfectly adamant. When |
hear that my voice is almost equal to Sins
Reeves" that waltz ''diyinely;" that am the
best hand at croquet. badmintOn, lawn tennis.
&C., ''for miles round;" and when informed b.
my easily gulled parent that shat nice glil Miss
Sc-Gnd-so thinks M; Gi!cl,I'iSt the hoIals0Hest
oil, 7 4,
that l am heir-presumptfve to baronetcy, aud
in many other respects what is termed good
catch But putting aside that fact the last as
sertion would have destroyed any Miss So-and-
SOS chance of ever becoming Lady Gilchrlst:
the fb was too paipable L am not ugly: but |
certainly am not handsome. You shall judge
for yourself; then shall not be accused OF in
justice towards Miss So-and-So." AS far as
can see | have tolerably well-sLaped head,
adorned with closely cropped black hair, a
healthy brick dust complexion, composite or
mixed nose, a pair OF rather decent brown
eyeS-at least there would be if one were not
ShCft-sighted-a heavy black mouStache, and
herculean frame OF full six feet four inches
high-these complete my charms; so / think l
am justified in saying AIN not ugly. but Ger
tainly not unduly handsome. or course nv
mother, blind where my unworthy self is con-
cerned, thinks me quite equal to the Apollo Bel
videre; indeed am not quite certain if she
were called upon TO give her candid opinion as
to the relative merits OF that geHtleman's ply
sliiue and mine, whether her verdict would not
b. in my favor.
Under the soothing influence of a couple of
choice Hayanas-l am an inveterate smoker.
perhaps that partly accounts for my being q
bachelor at the somewhat mature age OF nve-
ahd-thirty-my ill-humor v'nisheS; and begin
10 think Oh my proposed exile With certain de-
gree OF satisfaction. Ii is a long time before
can make up my mind where to go. but at last
j decide on Brighton. SO when | meet my
mother at luncheon. wear an air OF such
touching resignation to my fate. that it causes
the dear old soul TO put of the houSs-cleaning
Tor few weeks until the weather really is set
tied: but OF this viii not hear, and announce
fine.
She takes me at my word, for that same even
ing lind my pOrfmantcIu packed and lab led.
my rugs Strapped up, and even my pocket -tiasl;
nlled 80 amid maternal warnings relative to
damp sheets, wet feet. and staying out in tae
night air; departed en- route for Brighton.
Arrived at London Bridge Station purch aSe
the inevitable yellow-baci:ed volume without
which no British traveller is complete eusconct
myself III comfortable flrSt-claSS SnokinG-Car
rage, settle my body on one seat. my eytremi
= ties on another, tuck my railway rugs tigh ly
round me, light Cigar. and open my boos ~
one seems inclined TO disturb my peace; Their,
are very few passengers. 50 most OF them cai
follow my example ana nave a compartment e
themselves. AS one after another peers in a
The window and passes by. | b agin to congraJU
late myself on my good fortune, and give my
self up to a lazy enjoyment of my excentionalI i,
fine cigar. But / am doomed to diSappoint
inent.
Here you are. sir. Be quick
Before have time to dlSplace the extremitin,
the door is thrown open. two individuals shot
Ill; bang. whistle, and We are OF.
'How lucky We were TO catch it, Charli = =
some one pants.
YES indeed. GsScEtS Charlie.
When have had time 10 collect my scattered
senses and my railroad rugs. / steal & cover
glance at the intruderS. Charlie turn CIT 10 b
Il good-looktng Young fellow, attired Ike. mys Il
IN travelling ulster and tweed cap. All
tharl!e'S-WiTe' Yes. ! decide that at the Ii 5
glance, more's the pily!-Chariie'S wife Isl
perfection. have seen many beautiful won FL
III my nye and-tnirty years, but none to CON
pare with CHARLES wife. ! never was a goo,
hand at describing female beauty; aud as &
dress-weIl refer sou TO Ey mother, and she i
partial Judge. To describe Charles wtfe-9
rather TO family make the attempt-She is petite
and gracefully, prettily. plump" Il perfect
little ueoe, in short: and should Judge her 4
he from eighteen to twenty-not more perhap
Tess. Her face Is perfect in outline, Sm ill an,
oval; the features so piquant that one forget
70 notice lhoy are not quite regular. and tina
The nose Is decidedly Jip-tilted. while the moutl
i Just thought too large. But the deWy rex
lips that disclose set OF the prettieSt it'll;
pearls it Is possible to imagine, more th Il
compensate for that very trifiing defect If de
lect uOH deem i'll do not. Her eyes are
darby. deeply, beautifully blue" fringe,
with long curling laSheS two or three shade
darker than her pale auburn hair and her com
pteNlon Is dazzling lair. Coy little dimpleS lurl
IN all manner or unlooked-for corners in tina
bew1tchinS lace, whose greatest charm is eve
I varying expression and constant animation
Allowlng for my objectionable stupidity In tn