The Wellington enterprise. [volume] (Wellington, Ohio) 1867-188?, 1880-01-01
VARIETIES,

VARIETIES.
American dentists are pulling the
teeth of all civilized nations.
The best thing out is a bad cigar.
Isn't ita-Bufalo Sunday Times.
TO the sluggard, every year is
sleep year.-Hackensack Republican.
The dollar is always in good quar-
ters, summer or winter, but hang the
twenty-cent pieces.-Free Press.
= There is no good substitute for
wisdom" says Josh Billings, "but
silence is the best yet discovered"
There are IS, ,OOo, ,0OO milch cows in
the United States, while Germany and
Great Britain together count only 12,-
1t is the easiest thing in the world
to discover all the grease spots on a
mans coat when you don't like him.
Pee Press.
1t has been determined by trig-
onometrical survey that Niagara Falls
have receded more than one hundred
feet since 1912.
1t has been demonstrated in Paris
that when q man pounds his thumb
with hammer he is twice as mad as
when he strikes his elbow on the door
frame.
Young writer-You have chosen
an excellent nom de plume for your
first effusion, ''Euripides," for you rip
ideas all to Cincinnati Satur-
day Night.
Bells were first set up in churches
as q defense against thunder and light
ming. The first bell hung in England
was in 945. Chimes were invented ir
Belgium in 1887.
When you deprive boy of the
privilege of taking off his coat and vest
together at one pull and leaving his
boots in the middle of the floor, what
do you expect he has to live for?
Painting pictures on old teacups is
very nice employment for woman,
but the girl who can fix up last win
ter's bonnet is the enc who will make
3 her mark in the world.-M. 2. Erpress.
Shan is the name of q Chinese
giant who is coming to this country to
exhibit himself. If his hind end ended
one letter higher up in the alphabet, we
would think he belonged over here
HosOk-Eye.
-"What is statesmanshipP' asks
the Chicago Inter Ocean. Statesman
ship, we believe, is the peculiar gift
some men have of robbing the Govern
ment without being caught.-Philadel-
phid Chronicle.
According to the old law for cal
culating tonnage, Noah's ark measured
81, ,761 tons, to the Great Eastern's 21,-
092. The ark is said to have been 547
feet long, while the great steamship
is $50 feet in length.
Why en- advance in lard should en-
hance the price of butter is about as
difficult problem as the true inward
ness of the connection between the
price of milk and a water famine
Boston Transcript.
-" Maria," observed Mr.. Holcomb b,
as he was putting on his clothes,
"there amt no patch on them breeches
yet" "I can't fix it now, no way.
I'm too busy" swell, give me the
patch then, and I'll carry it around
with me. don't want people to think
can't afford the CLOTH
Did you ever notice that if you go
into an Office where the man is on the
street talking politics all the time he
isn't in bed, you will always see a
framed chrome motto hanging up over
the desk, s.Time is Money ?"-Ha,ok-
Eue.
Soft as silk with golden hair.
Bright as stars were her eyes of blue,
Truly loved my lady fair, '--
Truly my lady loved me, too.
Did 1t break my heart when my love lay dead :
Why, bless your soul, she didn't die,
Time wrought a change as 1t onward sped;
e.~Mr Yors World.
my wife," remarked a prominent
manufacturer, "never attends auctions.
She went once, and seeing friend at
the opposite side of the room, nodded
politely, whereupon the auctioneer
knocked down q patent cradle, and
asked her where she wished it deliv-
cred" s~ 's-fE
"A dispatch from Rome says the
Propaganda has approved the proposal
of Cardinal McCloskey for the estab-
ishment of three bishoprics in Ameri-
ca, under the Jurisdiction of the Arch
bishop of New York The Propaganda
will instruct Cardinal McCloskey as to
the most suitable location of the sees.
"A clothes-line is q harmless thing,
When stretched from pole to pole;
Until you start across the yard
And step into q hole.
Then as you make forward lunge,
. 1t stops you, SO to speak,
And throws you down and jerks you to
-Keoknk Gate City.
The Rochester Democrat of last
Monday says: There was a go-as.
you-please walking match at the con-
clusion of the services at one of the
churches last night. 1t was q young
lady who went as she pleased, and the
youth waltzed off toward home alone,
with large-sized mitten in his pocket
From present indications there will be
no match." - E
6 "A little more than a century age
letter writing was supposed to be the
limit of woman's brain power. Few
even of the Puritan women could read
or write, and though boys school:
were established, girls were not allowed
TO enter for over $50 years, and ther
only in the summer time, when the
boys seats were vacant. The general
belief seemed to be like Voltaire's, tha,
Ideas are like beards-woman and
young men have none"
Here are two of the meanest mer
on record: The owners of q clothing
making firm in Boston employ thirty.
five girls, who, from their poor earn.
ings, contributed $22 on Thanksgiving
day and gave each of the two members
of the firm pretty album, occupying
q half hour in getting ready and max
ing the presentation. The two NEAR
fellows took the gifts with ready smile.
and on payday deducted from the
wages of the girls time money for the
hall hour they had occupied in giving
the albums.-N. r. Herald.
Story Of Pet Monkey.
A remarkable instance of intelli
gence and attachment in pet monkey
NAV interest lovers of "our poor re
lations" and of animals in general