River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-02-26

Old ocean INDUCES in storms merely
to wreek-creation.
Persons with strong "turn" for nu-
| sic-organ-grinders.
A hypocrite is man who tries TO be
pious and can't. with strong prepon-
derence of can't.
Scientific men tell us that the earth
is but crust, and every live man wants
to belong to the upper crust.-Net0 Or
leans Pic0yune.
A close observer sees deal of shrewd-
ness and cunning in the fact of General
Grants leaving the country when he
did. He says he showed deep art by
his departure.
1t is a mean woman who will paste a
last years plate of fashions for bonnets
in this years fashion book and lend it
to her female friends just before Easter
Sunday.
Young man. if it's II o'clock, and she
goes to the piano and plays few bars
Of The Sweet Bye and Bye" you may
consider the seance over for the night
Longfellow's son is exhibiting in Bos-
ton an allegorical painting called "The
Choice of Youth" 1t is not said wheth-
er it represents velocipede or u
scent cigar.
These are the nights when the Their
mometer hugs zero, the old folks hug
the fire, and the young folks hug each
other.-Steltbenpiil Herald.
"You promised to pay that bill yes
terday," said an angry creditor to q
debtor. EYES," calmly replied the 9TH
er, "but to err is human, to forget di
vine-and forgot. "-Oa city Derrick.
Now We know all about the "What Is
It2' 1t is book agent. We saw one
ring door bell on Race street the 9TH
er day, and a woman stuck her head
out of the second-story window and
yelled; "Hello what is il?'
"Where are the greenbacks gone?'
walls an up-country paper. Been fed
to swine, We expect; we have seen in
one thousand $1,000 exchanges this
week the statement that there's mon
ey in hogs. DDS Moiaes Register.
Some people act as if providence
were thing of the future entirely; 9TH
ers as if it were of the past while the
fact is it keeps right on doing business
at the old stand every day.-MoGregor
Ne,0s
In little family discussion, the other
day, the madam remarked, somewhat
tartly: "When l marry AGAIN. 81
suppose you will marry fool" inter-
rupted her husband "Beg your par
don, said she, shall do nothing of the
kind. prefer change" The lord
and master wilted.- Cincinnati Enquirer.
Rollins and blue birds and white
skirts and oyster cans and dead cats
have made their appearance in Detroit
the same as if it was April, and the
croakers in the water-holes sing: "Sing
hey, the merry bullirogs that we are"
Detroit Free Press.
A clergyman recently left Liverpool
in large ocean steamer, and beginning
to feel uncomfortable after leaving the
mouth of the river, sought the Captain
to learn if there was any danger. The
Captain, in response, led the clergymen
to the forecastle and told him to listen
to what was going on. The clergyman
ing vigorously, and expressed his hor-
ror to the Captain. The Captain mere
ly remarked: "Do you think these men
would swear in such a manner if there
was any real danger?" whereupon the
parson seem ed satisfied, and retired. A
day or two after, during severe storm,
the Captain saw the clergyman pro-
ceeding with difficulty to the forecas-
tie, and on his return heard him ex
claim: THANK heaven! they're swear
ing yet"