Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1880-07-26
WHY AUNT SALLY NEVER
GOT MARRIED.


you said once that when you was girl
ycu was engaged to a minister, and
promised you would tell us about it
sosae time. Now Aunt, please do"
"Wcll, if | ever did see such girls in
all my born days. It's tease, tease,
from morning till night. You must
known all about everything that you
hare no business to know anything
ahsut. Such inquisitive, pesterferous
critters as you are When | was young,
girls were different; they minded their
own business and didn't go sailing
around with whole string of beaux, get
ting their heads filled with all kinds of
nonsense. [ never dared to ask my
aunts, married or single, about any of
their affairs. Pretty mess I'd have got
into if I had. When they offered to
tell me anything of their own accord,
kept my mouth shut and listened.
Everything is different nowadays,
young folks have no respect for their
elders. But as | see am not going to
have any peace till do tell you, why.
Just listen and don't let me hear word
out of your mouths till get through"
"That's right, Aunt Sally; do go
ahead and we'll keep perfectly silent"
"Well, you see when I was about
seventeen years old | was living in
Utica, in the state of New York. Though
1 say it myself [ was quite a good look
ing girl then and had several beaux;
the one that took my fancy most was
young minister, a very promising young
man, very modest and devoted. He
thought good deal of me and | kind
of took fancy to him, and things ran
on until we were engaged. One evening
he came into the parlor where l was
alone, Il remember as we'll as if it was
only yesterday he came up to me and
=. But now, pshaw l don't like to
tell the rest"
"Oh ! Aunt Sally, for mercy sake
don't stop, tell US what he did"
"Well, said he came up to me, put
his arms around me, gently around my
waist and gave me an embrace. l was
greatly surprised and did what to some
might seem rash and foolish thing.
But clear out, every one of you, shan't
tell any more
Goodness gracious, Aunt Sally, tell
us what you did"
"Oh, such torments as you are
was like any other girl and pretended to
to be mad about it, and pushed him
away with great violence, though l
wasn't mad bit. You must know that
the house lived in was on one of the
back streets of the town; there were
glass doors in the parlor which opened
right out over the street, with no balcony
or anything else of the kind in front of
the house. As it was in the summer
season, these doors were open and the
shutters drawn to. l pushed harder
than l intended to, and, don't you
think, girls, the poor fellow lost his bal
ance and fell through one of the doors
into the street. Yes, it's so, and as he
fell | gave scream and caught him =.
But l declare won't tell any more, l
am going to leave the ROOM
"No, no; Aunt Sally, how did you
catch him did it hurt him much 2"
"Well, if | must, | must. He fell
head first, and as he was going l caught
him by the legs of his trousers. | held
on for minute and tried to pull him
back, but his suspenders gave away and
the poor young man fell clean out of his
pantaloons into whole parcel of ladies
and gentlemen passing along the street.
"Oh Aunty, Aunty Lordy, lordy =
"There, that's right, laugh and giggle
as much as you want to !; girls that can
hear little thing like that without
tearing around the room and he-heing
r in such way don't know enough tc
come home when it rains. A nice time
a man who will marry one of you will
have. won't he? Catch me telling yor
anything more"
a "Well, Aunt Sally, what became O.
him, did you ever see him again ?''
q ''No, the moment he touched tht
| ground, he got up and left that place ii
p a terrible hurry; I tell you it was 3
: sight to be remembered, to see how tha
f man streaked it down the street in hi
white drawers, his coat-tails futterin,
8 in the breeze. Father happened to b.
s coming up the street at the time, and h
r said he never saw anything equal it il
v his whole life. He sent me a note
It few days afterwards saying that the en-
!, gagement must be broken off, as h
y never would look me in the face again
after what had happened; he went GU
d West, and, believe, be is preaching
Y out in Illinois. But he never married
# he was very modest and, suppose, wa
= SO badly frightened that time he woul
e never trust himself near woman again
That, girls, is the reason why | neve
it got married. | felt very bad about
o for long time for he was real goo