davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-28

/ IHE BHUsH.--An artist who has just re.
eeived his letter Of rejection from the Art
! Club, says, disconsolately, to his bootblack
Ali, Jerry, it is not all rose color i'll my
profession Il know it, boss, know it;
! for do I not also handle the brush ?'
.ACLosE CALcgLArIoS.- .--Conatry School
master.-ssHow many hens have souz''
Boy-s'Well one died, and the other didn't
live Standardization YOU have
none: ?" B0y---..o, yes. We ll:ive six tha
/ ain Matched get
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-28
There is Il man up here in ArkansaW.
Who can saw as much as his ma can saw:
But give him anax.

HIS REvENGE.-An angry husband said
to his wife. "sar boo to me again, mad
am. and Eli apply for divorce.n Boo.
you great iEliot!!n exclaimed the. angry
wife. Very well, madam y answered the
husband, ,''ro be revenged on you, I'll
marry my mother-in law, and then I'll be
EOur SteIl-fatLerin y
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-28

! The PuRsrlr or ScIEScE, Pretty 5Nt .Sci-
e@tifc Gorernes&-s'P Pray. can we obtain a
specimen of this minesn Miner gallant
5ly)-''Well miss, this cre's !; worketl-out
mine, and us three the only specimens
left. At your humble service, miss, I'm
|
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-28
: y. HERSHFtELD, Prest.
-. COLLINS, Cashier.

sllt,sa, y aas1e and promptly fe,aitfeii
ptll Il, 1880.
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-28

| Can't do it. III sit down or stand up. :"
s'Sheritf, remove that man from the box.
Witness retires, mutterlng, "Well, if he
amt the thick-headest euss ever laid eyes
/
The Benton weekly record. [volume] (Benton, Mont.) 1880-1885, 1880-05-28

Uncle Ned he says: Johnny, lemme
take yure paper and rite some nice poetry
for yure little readers. So lettim, and
here thav arc.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
Rs. A. p. LACEY. Attorneys,
Wagon Making and
Repairing. 49, : - {.
O.. s. BUZZEII %

UYOULDinform the people OF Portage coun
w tythat he is prepared to manufacture Al
kinds Of LUMBER and SPRING WAGONS
and to do general repairing promptly and in
the best manner, Also, HlhSE SH0EING and
: - Prices from 10 to 20 per cent. below anv
heretofore charged in this region, 70 cash.
: Works on Main Street, West of c. q p. r. R
Depot. '.'Ss1 sssi-s
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
THE ; EUEURE OF UNITED
. sa-1-nt n STATES.

AF1sHE Ari % 4-ft
IT is not generally known, even in
cultivated circles, that the amount OF
arabic soilin America is greater than in
Europe, Asia and Africa put together,
and therefore sustain more lives. This
is no rash conclusion. speak from a
scientific basis; and 1 will show you
what that basis is: Our continent is
narrow, aud therefore the winds of
the ocean water it we'll. The noun
tain ehaihs on the east side Of the
AmeriesRs continent areIow on the
east side of the old world, are high.
From this it results that the trade
winds, laden witness of the are at
tracted to our land. The breadth of
the old world and its high eastern
ranges cause the rainless interiors of
Asia and Africa. Again America is
the land of fertile plains; the old
world of scorched plains. Our plains
run north and south, and 80 attract
and receive the rains. America is
high under the equator, and the old
world is wide; hence, with us . small
surface is exposed to the scorching
sun. The result is that the product
i've soil in the old world is 10000, 600
square miles, and in the new, ii, ,OO0,-
GOO. Thus bursfs upon ms all in the
light of scientific truth, the fact that
America can sustain q greater popu-
lation than the old world; and if che
can, it is unquestioDable that some
day she will. sG5 gH4fs 1
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
A FAILURE.

"Run for doctor and a glass ol
brandy, quick, cried ared-nosed man
slightly overcome by heat and Sc
fourth, on Pawtucket avenue, Sun.
day afternoon. Good Samsritans
started off in answer to his appeal in
every direction, when they were
rounded 10 by an additional cry,
"Don't too many of you go for the
doctor and not enough for the brandy.
l guess you better all go for the BRAN
dy first and the doctor afterwards.'
They all looked upon the old humbug,
who was thus presuming upon the
best impulses Of humanity, and then
left him alone with his thirst under q
shady tree. &SA y "a u
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
NEwsPArEn ouEsrIoNs.

The editor sat in his sanctum,
Regarding with sad. earnest eyes
The huge pile Of Questions" his readers
Had sent with demands Tor replies.
Why these" said the weary quill driver.
Would MI up moderate book.
I'll publish the whole. lot together.
And let the people see how they lookp'
Who was it that wrote that sweet ditty
Beginning 4 saw from - somewhere?'
" Pray tell me some certain specific
For changing the color of hair I'
+" What is the name OF the author
OfsNo. we'll never go home2.n -
Did Shakespeare write Down in a Coal Mine2'''
Who was the third Pope Of Romes"
"North Polar fishes have feaehersr,
a"Was Wat Tyler quartered or hung2"
Where was the first man crematedS"
Who was it invented the bung2''
Do buffalo ever eat sauer kraut?"
where can get some snail's horns?"
Which Of the Muses. played short stop?''
:Did Bonapart ever have corns2'
"what was the air Nero fddled2''
Do hard-shell CLAIMS ever yield pearls2''
How many boils did poor Job havea"
What will cure squirting in girls?"
"Why are some people red-headed?p
Why don't my young man propose?'
What was the matter with HannahG''
why don't turn out my toesf''
I" Did the PFodigal Son use tobaccrr"
what do you think ais my catr''
Had Nebuchadnezzar four stomachss"
How shall 1 trim my new hat,' ast
"Tell me where Moses was burieds'' i'-' i.s
Did Noah take neas in the Arke" y
What was Ewes middle initial2" ilsriI -,-ilss &
why is that hens do not bark2"
like" said the editor. smiling,
like these good people who seek a,.. =
For knowledge. and like to give it, vfr
Ill answer their questions next week.
I'D like. too. to get them together. .il......I
They'd think immortally leaked;
I'd answer their questions as promised,
Though most folks would call it necks tweak-
liz lIf NJ oJlTlsI2f9SI9 I
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
MRS. rAxLon,. uALr.DoLLAr n

M R ~. TAKLORSS Ill LEo do LLx IL .
Mrs. Taylor-we will not be more
definite about her name-came into
the Hour Office on Wednesday to pur-
chase q copy of the paper, and handed
the local silver dollar.
As dollar in change or in any 9TH
er shape is rarely found in q printing
Office, the following conversation en-
sued: ..t..
Locsl-Haven'ty you anything small
er than this, madam
Mrs. T.-No; haven't nothing but
a silver, half dollar, which I'wouldn't
part vithsfor anything.S & ff6Gs
LocaEHow,s that?
Mrs. T-Weli, I'll tell you. You
see when my grandmother was baby
and getting her teeth she used to bite
onto that lf-dollar. Ny mother used
it the same way and so did 1, and my
daughter and all her children. Now
I've got it back again and am going to
keep it az long as live.
Local-It must be quite curiosity.
Mrs. T.-So it is. Do you want to
see it 5r..a 81
The local did want to see it, and
Mrs. Taylor handed it to him. One
glance was sufficient. He quickly
handed it back and rushed out to get
the dollar changed. He was gone q
long time and came back flushed and
out of breath. He handed the change
to Mrs. Taylor, waited until she had
gone, and then roared with laughter.
The half-dollar was dated 1861
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
ROAD NOTICE
Notice to Cont tractors.

NOC1CC 10 OUH HCTstCCUrSe
CEALED proposals will be received at the
- Office of the Clerk of Paris Township, Por-
tage County, Ohio, until five O'Clock P. NJ on the
4th day of June, 1880. for building a School
House in Sub District No 2. according to plans
and specifications on file in said Office
None but the lowest res pOnsible bid will be
accepted and the Board may reject all bids
By order OF the Board of Education.
J. 4. MORGAN. Township Clerk.
May 18th, 1880. GIL 4w*
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03

Parties having Plates that do not at. can have
the teeth reset on new plates that will fit. for
only $500. 5z.sE zssssz s5E7 :
Teeth extracted with little or no pain by the
application of fluids in form of fine spray.
No charge for Extracting where Artificial
Teeth are to he inserted.
Especial attention given TO all Irregularities
of Children's Teeth. -s* ->7 so
nHaving removed my Office to my Resi-
dence 81 West Main Ctreet. thereby saving con-
siderableexpensei in rent etc. propose to give
parties wishing work done would do well to
call and see me before engaging work elsewhere
Twenty five cords of Stove Wood and a small
quantity of WhitewOod and Blackwalnut Lum-
ber wanted in pal t payment for work.
Ravenna. July 29th. 1878. 518
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03

Trans NO. and II on mainf11 run daily
Palace Sleeping Coaches on trains No. l. 2 8
and IL between Cincinnati and NewYork daily
Hotel Coach on trains No. 3 and IL, between
Chicago and New York daily, via Mansfield :.
Train No. connects at Mansfield with Pitts
burg, Fort Wayne Chicago Railroad for Chi
cago, Milwaukee, Omaha and all points IN the
North west; at Meadvillc, Union and Cory for
Oil Regions and at tJamestown for buffalo and
Niagara Fails; at Salamanca 1or Rochester:
and ut Binghamton for Albany.
Close connections at Cincinnati with trains
for the South and West
No" stop-over'' allowed upon local tickets.
Local passengers must purchase ticketst to their
first stopping place, and may then repurchase
from that point to destination. .-lt
= Passengers for Chautauqua Lake should, on
arrival at Lake View. take the steamers. of the
= Peoples Line, the ..Mayville,' - Grifith - or
- W. L. Shattuc" which run IN direct conncc-
ton with trains ON this road@for all points on
the Lake ~. .t... t..-. .-- .rs y ~.
- ii -,.F w. b. SHATTUC,
General Passenger and Ticket gent, a
a5 ~ CINCINNATI, 0.
r. d. COOPER
.-I .- General Superintendent, q
f -s-t -ai--- CLEvELAED. o.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03

'' Here, Ohm. don't eat those crackers up, .
Said she with hateful snap;
"They're some saved on purpose
To put in the baby's pap"
"Well." said John. cdging for the door,
And reaching for his hat,
r" What makes you so cross about it. then?
Amt the baby's pap?'
st -tKeokuk Constitution.
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
HOW AN ARAB LADY PERFUMES
HERSELF

In the floor of the tent or hut, as it
may chance to be, small hole is ex-
cavated, suffciently large to contain q
common cbssnpagne-bottle. A fire OF
charcoal, or of simply glowing embers
is made within the hole, into which
the woman about to be scented throws
a handful of drugs. She then takes
off the cloth, or "tope," which forms
her dress, and crouches naked over the
fumes, while che arranges her robe to
fall az q mantle from her neck to the
ground, like tent. She now begins
to perspire freely from the hot-air
bath, and the pores of the skIn being
thus opened and moist, the volatile
oil from the smoke of the burning
purfumes Ia Immediately absorbed.
BY the time that the fire has expired
the scenting process is completed, and
both her person and her robe are redo
lent with incense, with which they are
so thoroughly impregnated that / have
frequently smelt party of women at
full aohundrsd yards distance, when
the wind has been blowing from their
direction.-lSir William Baker. Ea
Which shoe de you take off last ev-
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
Ohio journal of
FlOracUlture

THREATS clearly OH managing Roses and all
i Plants for the garden window, conservato-
ry. warden case. fernery. aquarium Nc. 1t tells
all about ANIMALS. bulbs hanging baskets, in
sects, flowers for winter; how to propagate from
seeds, cuttings layers. &C. Practical vigorous.
original, elegant illustrated The volume com
plete in January of each year. with 21O pages
suitable for binding. $1.00 year in advance.
Copy free -uItt. an Tl
(Prop'r Leroy Rose and Plant Nursery)
ALLIANCE, OHIO,
A premium of Ten named beautiful Ever
blooming Roses sent Tree, by mail. to each sub
scriber. 602-3m iul,f Z ~ lIrrE
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
HEAvE PowDER.

warrant to be the hest ever ofered-and if M,
directions are followed viii perform what
claim for it. My IS years experience in
care of horses has developed to me the propea
treatment and my Powder meets a great want,
as ut is a Heave Fowder-not Condition Pow
der. No man. having horses needing treatment
for Heaves should be without this Remedy. Il
does not interfere with the supply of all the
water horse may need. Four ounces, with d.
rections. 81 CO. Address OWCOY
p. o. Box 597, Ravenna, 0.
Sold at Waterman's. 629-4w
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03

Which shoe de you take off last ev-
cry night2 Tho left one, Of course. r
The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-06-03
{. G.&sG..c0oP[25EAilES { s

r am Agent for the sale OF the G. 4 G. Cooper
Il & Co. Engines manufactured at Mt Vernon.
Ohio This Company has been established and
under the same m Management for ov er forty -four
for their superior Qualities They man ufacture
Farm Engines. Traction Engines, Portable En-
Gines, Pony Circular Saw Mills, Corn and Feed
Mills. &C.. sc. Eg fs.rF.
Persons Intending to purchase anything in
the line of Engines, Mills. &c. will find it to
their advantage to call on me at my Repair and
Machine Shop. on Prospect Street. 3
JOHN +. BYERS.
Ravenna. Dec. 81, 1879. 592-3m g.
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21
Onr 9ireside
Kindness to Others.

We americans are too busy to
Ishow much kindness to others.
when man in this country once
sets about his life's work of making
his living he has no time to be pick
ing up or going about into the high
ways and by-ways to show sympa-
thy with lonely and tempted souls.
1T is uncivil, meddling, according
to his code. But this reticence may
be carried too far. How many q
young man is there to-day in this
and every great city, who has come
up from some poor home followed
by the prayers offather and mother;
who is fighting day by day tempta-
tion which will ruin him body and
soul, if he yields, and from which
proper companionship will save him.
He is utterly friendless and alone.
He goes to church, and the crowd
of well-meaning brush him past
without q word. He goes to work
and his employer puts him aside at
night as he does his ledger, as a
tool, not q human being. Would
not a word of sympathy. a cordial
invitation, little womanly interest
If our reader is woman--be of
priceless value here? In our circle
Of acquaintances, in our households,
is there no tired woman, no man
with whom the world has dealt
hardly, to whom we have often felt
impelled to hold out our hands with
hearty good will, but have not done
it? Let us turn over a new leaf in
this matter. and befriend the frend-
less
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21
A Miners Daring.

Mr.. Kellogg would not allow Mr..
Deidshimer to incure the risks of
the explorations, and set about pre-
pairing to 90 alone. He saturated q
wooden shirt with ice-water and
bound it on and over his head, leav
ing but single eye exposed. He
then mufli ed both hands, and thus
prep ared, entered the drift leaving
with the Superintendent a request
that if he did not return in fifteen
minutes, the drift should be closed
behind him, to be opened no more.
This could we'll be done, as the Saw
age had bulkheaded that level, the
air had been shut out and the work
ings there practically abandoned.
After enduring that terrible heat for
twenty minutes Mr.. Kellogg came
back and reported nothing amiss.
The extra water was but an unusu-
ally large intermittent flow from the
old north drift in Savage. When
stripped of his mufflings Mr.. Kel-
logg found that in some way one of
his hands had become barred while
he was in the DRIFT, and the back of
it had been burned to.a solid blister
by the dry hot air to which he had
been exposed. Water boils on the
Comstoek at one hundred and nine-
lty-eight degrees and he had sustain
ed for twelve minutes a temperature
only forty degrees below that of
boiling water, and sufficient to have
roasted him in a very short time.
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21
How to do 1t at Home.

"Doctor." said gentleman to his
pastor, show can l best train up my
boy in the way that he should go?'
"By going that way..yourself," re-
sponded the pastor,
No sounder advice could have
been given. Sound instruction is
excellent. Education In morals
and correct theories ofliving are not
by any means to be neglected. But
those families where the quiet infiu-
ence of pure and noble example is
found are most likely to be the ones
where childhood is most successful
ly trained. In nothing is the infu-
ence of little things more important
than in the family circle. Parents
naturally and properly live a free
and unrestrained life in the presence
of their own families. If they are
cross, petulent, fault-fnding, it is
idle to expect that the children, who
are hourly witnesses to this petty
ill-temper, will be of sunny disposi-
tion or unselfish in life. But if
home life be filled with little deeds
of kindness, with gentle, loving
helpfulness, the ''small, sweet cour-
tesies" of hourly intercourse, they
will descend from father to son and
from mother to daughter. Home
will borrow a radiance that is the
best foretaste of the blessedness of
the heavenly world, and children
that are reared in such an atmos-
phere are likely to fulfill the expec-
tations Of those who are interested
in their welfare.
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21
MisreAany.
A Smith Complication .

During the Summer the daugh-
ter of an Iowa farmer has been Wis
iting a friend in Kansas. A few
days ago the old man was greatly
perplexed by the receipt of .tele-
gram announcing the fact that his
daughter had just been married to
"a black Smith" The telegraph
operator was an inexperienced in
dividual, and couldn't throw any
light upon the matter, and the dis
tracted father for the life of him
was unable TO decide whether his
daughter had linked her fortunes
with those of Mississippi exodus
ter, son of the anvil, or Mr..
Black Smith. Finally he telegraph
ed to detective for the arrest and
detention of the couple, and then
boarded the first trsin for Kansas.
Upon arriving he discovered that
the detective with characteristic
enterprise had arrested and locked
up large number of Smiths of all
sorts, shapes and conditions, and
informed the excited old farmer that
he was at liberty to make his selec-
ton from the lot. This generous
offer was Indignantly refused. and
the old gentleman rushed distract
edly off to the house where st hi
daughter had been stopping. Her
| he learned to his great relief tina
his new son-in-law was q respecta
BILE young merchant, who had con
tracted the habit of parting hi
name in the middle, it being in tha
| form, A Black Smith. That was al
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21
The Ex- Empress Eugene.

"The ex-Empress Eugene has
not been well since her return from
Zululand," says a Paris journal.
and has recently been compelled
to remain in bed, much affected by
severe attacks of fever. Her once
beautiful eyes are now dim and IA
tigued, surrounded by dark cir
Gle; her face is furrowed with the
lines of sorrow and tears; hardly fif-
ty five years of age, the former ex'
press of the French looks as if she
was over sixty-five. Speaking some
time ago to Pere Goddard, the chap
lain of Camden House, she told him
that she would not remain much
longer in England, which had been
SO fatal to her affections, nor die at
Chiselhurst; that she wanted to
breathe her last in more sunny
country, and that as soon as she was
strong enough she would leave
Chiselhurst, taking with her the re-
mains of her beloved husband and
son.n
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21

HERE is a pleasant little bit Of gos-
sip from the pen of Mrs. Grundy,
which will be relished by those who
desire to know something of the Ia
dy who will, in all probability, be
the next mistress of the White
House:
"Knowing Mrs. Hancock to be q
grandmother. ] had not expected to
see so young a looking lady. She
has quite light brown hair, in which
only few silver threads appear, q
clear rosy complexion and perfec,
figure, which her rich black silk be-
came admirably. She evidently en-
joys = good joke, and talked much
of the humors of the campaign, even
making merry of Puck's caricatures
of her husband. She says she reads
all the most Radical newspapers &C
she can find out more about hel
husband than she ever knew before
and she has learned, she adds, much
and he also, about himself of which
they had previously been absolute
y gnorant. Her only grievanc,
g ms to be that since his nomina-
tlon she has had so much less OF he
husbands society than ever before.
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21

Ir should be pointed out with
continual earnestness, says Ruskin,
that the essence of lying is in de-
ception, not in words. A lie may
be told by silence, by equivocation,
bv the accent on syllable, by a
glance of the eye attaching pecu-
liar Significance To Il sentence and
all these kinds OF lies are worse and
baser by many degrees than a lie
plainly worded; SO that no form of
blinded conscience is so far sunk
as that which comforts itself as to
having deceived, because the decep-
tion was by gesture and silence in
stead of utterance; and, finally, ac-
cording to Iennyson's trenchant
line, "a lie which is half a truth Is
ever the worst of lies"
The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-10-21
A Well Deserved Rebuks.

The Cincinnati Marine Journa
takes occasion to haul Senator Conk
ling over the Goals for depreciating
in the course of his recent grea
New York speech, the Importance
of the river transportation Of Ameri
ca, and particularly Of the West and
Southwest.
Mr.. Conkling, says the Journal,
has evidently only a vague idea OF
the use OF the Ohio and Mississippi
riyers-that they are good to wash
in and fish in, and possibly good to
drink il one can't get champagne,
but as high ways of trade they are
only worthy of his contempt.
Following its well merited rebuke
of Mr.. Conkling, the Journal pre-
sents some exceedingly interesting
facts and figures:
"Tell him of the 1000, 600 or 3, 900
600 bales of cotton that every year
seek a market or factory over the
Mississippi. Tell him of the many
millions of tons Of Goa, of iron, lum-
ber and industrial and agricultural
products that throb through the
great arteries, and carry abounding
life to the growing populations Of
the Ohio and Mississippi valleys.
Tell him of the tremendous floods OF
grain that are poured along these
channels of cheap transportation.
1t might have wholesome effect
upon his estimate of the west and
resources. Why, only last week a
little towboat--but one Of many
similarly engaged, and growing in
numbers-went into New Orleans
with a tow Of 100000 bushels of
grain, or about 5I75 tons. How
many cars would it take to move
the cargo of that little boat! In
round numbers, 51S cars and twen-
tv.six locomotives! Arrangements
are now being made for line which
the tow of each boat will carry 5000
tons ON low water! 1t would take
600 cars and forty-flye locomotives
to move the cargo Of one boat! The
tow boat j. r. Williams took down
the river a tow of about 100000
bushels of coal--over 4O,OO0,OOO OF
pounds, or 10000 tons. 1t would
have taken about 1000 cars and 100
locomotives to move that cargo!
Steamboats, with loads of cotton
ranging from 1000 to 5000 bales,
and porportionate amount of cot
ton seed oil cake, fairly swarm in
the lower Mississippi and its tribu-
taries. These are only specimen
bricks from the grand commercial
structure built up by the river