davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1880-10-03
HJMOR,

It looks suspicious to see man always take
Glove before answering the telephone.
The New England expression "Iswan" Is sup
posed to have originated with Jupiter when he
was introduced to Leda.
The Maryland Grcenbackers have put up J.
Il. ". Onion for Congress. Onion ts strong
nomination. Hence these tears.
Col. Ingersou to the Liberal League: "Fou
Gun go to-no, confouud it! come to think
there ia none. However, you can 60 anyhow"
Petroleum World.
A young man saws he Is going to attempt the
feat of going forty days without working. He
says If his employers do not watch him he thinks
he can accomplish the task.
Some wicked Yankee says that he hastuvented
a new telegraph He proposes to paoe hne OF
women fifty steps apart, and commit the news
to the first us very profound secret
Mamma-"y You are, very nau1i,:E. children:
Tommy-+That Is u pity, mammal! We're all 50
thoroughly satisfied with you, you know"
A South Hill debating club is wrestling With,
"Can q community exist without women We.
think it might exist for q while, nut taen II
| wouldn't know what was going on.-6uTdctte'
| The worst cut-up man Of the hour, according
| to the Cleveland Totee is that Western reporter
| who, In describing the appearance Of tue belle
| Of the town ut d local picnic. intended 10 say
| types had to get It " all feetr'
l. Any letters FOR me 2" asked young lady Of
the female postmaster in county town: ma sn2
was the reply. "Strauge, said the young laQy
aloud to herself as she turned away: " Nothing
| strange about it." cried the T. D. through the
delivery window, you amt answered the last
| letter he writ hel"
story in one Of the juvenile papers tells OF
! a Young Ind who disobeyed his mother by run
Ming off to baseball match; storm came up
ard the d te 5oy re- baye sefea eone 0y
| wIth n lightning-rod attachment. Spnre the rod
, 1880-10-03
g REAL" TRIMMINGS.
YL6s3S3dt Punch

Dressmaking-What it must come to with u
present taste for - real" trimmings Mrs MILF
ion" am not at all satisfied with the dress
wore last night 1he palm-leaves were too
heavy, and the camellias faded befosa the drst
dance As for that tatttce-work covered with
jasmine you fixed up for me On my skirt, why.
It was coming undoce the whole evening.
Madame Bellerobes-1 Very sorry. madame, but
you said ron liked flowers better than fruit ls
Is the tirst complaint have had, and garden.
as YOU know, some OF the best htood tn town:
You viii remember that gave yon refusal Of
he dress worn By Mrs. Billionaire, which made
such = sensatlon-" Mra. Million" The grape
drapery, with its veYetaple maErows and par
snipe, was certainly pleasing. By the way. tEo
suddeu Introduction Of the artichokes IN the
tunic was Inerective." Madame Helierobes-
: Maaame IS right. frankly admit that tho
cucumber required tontng down. We ought 70
haye scattered q pint Of peas over tho gauze: aud
emphasized the buckles with kidney potatoes
Mndume is pleased with the dress she Is going 70
wt.4r Tonight. It cost me seVerAt hours or tn6
most anxious Thought I believe-fondly ~ ~
iieye-the patch Of mushrooms worn On tho leIs
arm will be thought a masterpiece. As 1or tne
vegetables. you may rely upon them; /, Iaey 3
came fresh this moruiug from market Pc.
Million" It might be worse. Inc oouquete
Of carrots and Brussels sprouts are ceftalny
sweet
, 1880-10-03
FEMININE NOTES.

FEMININE NOTES.
Women, says cync, resemble dawefs- 1neJ
shut up when they sleep.
Some women were evidently born TO oiusa
unseen-at least they are never seen to otoso.
The older sparkling coquet or a fash1onaols
belle Rrovs, the more marchless she becofnea-
One OF the most stunning costumes at sara
tooa vas worn by Indy who registered thus:
~ AMfA and made.
:. Hxtd4et. tne dust upon the furntture Is IN
tn1eranie' what shall dor - Do as do n1ar11s
--pay no atteut1on to
1tsa moor rule that won't work both ways a
Milwaukee x1si married barber, and be turned
ont 10 be rich Baron In disguise.
The condor Of tha Andes 10 said TO 11!l his prey
with his bill. and the nillinera OF this country
ne trying the game on the married uaeu-
By a nearly unanimous vote, the women nf
this country have decided that the two beat
bands are hus- band md band~box-
"Treat women Like a splendid Hover" says
Col Bob Ingezsoil. y. SO I do. / have pianted
tnine,'' says 9 vtdorer who has buried Three
wives
IL have left ali my fortune to my wife, says
the philosophtc SPOUSE OF a Xantippe. on con-
diton that she shall marry e5ain+ - What U
thar forT' - wish to pe sure that theirs ~ut x
some ono to rexres my death when az gons,
, 1880-10-03
SOUTH AFRICA.

A REGULAR WAR 1NAuGURATED BE TIE
BASUTOS.
Special Gable
LONDON, Oct IA regular war has broken
out in Basutoland, and the Cape Government
have called out 5000 rilemen. The Basutos,
numbering 1000, have been vigorously at
tacklng the Cape forces, and fight we'll.
Sir Bartie Frere's friends are preparing
reception for him nextweek to console him.
The Basuto war--the latest outcome Of his
policy-must. however, depress the re-
joicing.
, 1880-10-03
LOTTERY ADVERTISEMENTS.


NEW York, Oct. 2.-The Grand Jury Of
the Court Of General Sessions returned in
dictments against the foilowing-named pub
fishers for publishing the places and sales OF
lottery tickets: Isaac ". England, Of the
Sun; Benjamin Wood, of the SInday and
Daily Nc,cs; William Fl. HurlbuTt Of the
World; Gunther G. Ackerman, Of the Star;
Charles A. Byrne, John Hart and Louis Post,
Staata- -Zeittng; the publisher Of Frank
Lestie's Ne1rsnnpcr: Richard Fox, OF the
Gnzette: aud John C. Williamson, of the
Dispatch.
, 1880-10-03

There was terrible wedding *'sell" ut Ac-
occupy prominent position in the ''society OF
the district, were actually ut the altar in the
chapel, winch WAS denscy crowded. when the
''ministcr" discovered that the requisite notice
had not been given. and the ceremony, conse-
quently had to be postponed till next day. The,
would-he bride and bridegroom nnd their friends
consoled themselves In really philosophical
fashion By returning home to consume ''break-
fast after which they drove out to spend the
afternoon at picturesque spot in the neighhor-
hood,
, 1880-10-03

RUSSIA AND CHINA.
Do1yBTS AS TO WHETHER WAR CAN BE
AvERTEn.

DOUBTS AS TO WHETHER WAX GAN BE
:. AYERTED.
Special Cable
LONDON, Oct. 2-Though the latest news
from St. Petersburg shows i change In the
direction of peace in the Chinese policy.
owing to the presence of the Russian
squadron in the Pacik%, and the war prepara-
tiops III Turkestan, the Russian Government
evidently still doubts whether war can be
averted. Whatever may be the imlnedi-
ate issue Of the present disputes
there is party in China which
asserts the claim Of the Empire 20
the territory that formerly De1ongeaS 20 y,
, 1880-10-03


ST. PETERSBURG, Oct. 2.-AH the editors
Of the chief journals here have been sum
moned before Gen. Mellkoh, and told that
their continued discussion Ut a constitution
for Russia has highly displeased the Car;
that nothing more OF. the subject would be
allowed to appear, and chat during the pres
ent reign it would be premature to DISCUSS
the question of constitution.
, 1880-10-03
VARIOUS.

BERLIN, Oct. At is stated that Spain IS
willing ON certain conditions to abandon her
claims on the port Of Agadir, Morocco, III
favor OF Germany.
TUN16.
LONDON, Oct. Especial dispatches say
that, in proof of the courteous and friendly
feeling of France for Italy, the LeVant
SQUADRON will Ieave Tunisian waters
, 1880-10-03

gain the upper hand. The action of China
respecting the Portuguese occupation OF
Maca shows the existence of deliberate
plan OIL the part Of the Chinese National
narty
, 1880-10-03
Of all the pending questions by that date.
The communication Is RS yet unanswered
GREAT BRITAIN.
CABINET CHANGE.
Spttfat Euble,

GREAT BRITAIN.
CABINET CHANGE.
Speetat Cub.e.
LONDON, Oct. 2.-There is rumor current
tonight that Sir Charles Dixie will leave the
Foreign Office, taking the place of W.P.
Adams in the Board OF Public Works, and
that Mr.. Leonard Courtney, n. r. for Lis
keard, will take the position vacated by Sir
Charles Dixie.
PAW-PAW.
The Sportsman, this morning says: "hlr.
r. Lorillard's 2-year-old chestnut flly Paw
Paw died at Newmarket a few days ago."
Paw-Paw's death is serious loss to her
owner. She was full sister Of Parole, being
by bennington out Of Maiden. She was bred
at Mr.. A. Welch's Chestnut Hill farm near
~ and was sent sa e ~
with other thoroughbreds: Paw Paw was
second in the Stanley Stakes at
the EPSON, summer meeting; was
third in the Acorn Stakes at the
fss as o ad asS was m
the winner Of the Molecombs takes the same
meeting. She lad many valuable engage
ments against her name.
THE SOCIAL WARFARE IN IRELAND
grows in Intensity. -, murder of the
Viscount MountlnorTes indicates the pres
81 70 rort,1+ a1 onong fhe 'Iiecnntnntad reos-
u oa+r.. "a a9 htGnntnorres tun as nor
unknown nobleman, unpopular as
!anuola Alasasiaee any 1s nG.E - ,ar aro
..,; a;so,el;on o ;arhodv r. Enr.nd Ia.
t,n,,aas ~ o;,a .e amror;or onG 5nanv cai1
for t coercive i've measures. re- Ths Irish organs de-
clare it to be in no way connected with the
land agitation, and urge the Government td re,
msDars @ era e1tra,naIy vioInnts me nj fhem
rails Mt the malignant blood-rufitiness Of
those who maintain q q Satanic system as a
gaping gate Of he'll in the land" The Caoi-
net came to
NO DECISION ON IRISH MATTERS
,t ;ts recont ,nretjno II is nossihIe that the
Eastern and irish questions may render
necessary a special session of Parliament in
November, Ireland will be given
respit till then. The Lord-Lieutenant
has issued Il circular which indicates
that although the Liberal Govsrnment : I;i Is
istration," it has the iron hand of law and
ton. a powerful party in the Cabinet are
opposed to, any coerctvo Legislation,
WIG speeenes ana a. W. IT, oaa;nn tb1nn Oh.
nur England and the North of Ireland will
overcome all the conclliatory tendencies Of
the Gladstone government Inc he'. III.
hane's - .or.r1ov
.., s"os , 60 .1:.e;t ,r.a ,..+
faasJo arJ fEa,,, tha ravararS n,;n;sfer ri neace
was a nronosition to arm 100000 Professionals
and march on Dublin,
TORY INDIGNATION.
The landau Conservatives are getting up
;ndi@not3nn n1 nnon neetings aeainst ths foreien
1nie;1 nf tha GnraTnmenf Save from ex-
Teme so-cailed nntriots there Is likely to be
uo uehs heaTtC ~ rrsnnnse
, 1880-10-03

GARIBAItDI's MOVEMENT.
ROME, Oct. 2.-There is great anxiety In
official circles about Gen. Garibaidi's move
ment, which has formed the theme Of dis
cussion at three Cabinet councils.
PETITION REJECTED.
The Cabinet Council has resolved to reject
the petition Of fourteen Deputies from Llg,,-
ria for the release Of Maj. Canzio, Gen. Gar
ibaldi's son-in-law.
Mai. Canzio is Major in the Italian serv-
ice. He was condemned to three months
imprisonment for participation in the dis
turbances at Genoa last year. The Court Of
Appeal corAr~.ed his condemnation, and on
the 18th Of September last Maj. Canzio wns
arrested to undergo punishment.
alENoTTI GARIBALDL
ROME, Oct. 2.-Menotti Garibaldi has start
ed for Genoa, where he will meet his father,
Gen. GarioaIdi, to whom it is stated he bears
letter from Premier Carroll.
, 1880-10-03

TIE REPORT, THAT cANDAHAR Is TO BE
ABANDONED PREMATURE
Special C1bit.
LONDON, Oct 2.-The Daily NctDs has
stated that the Government have decided to
abandon Candal1ar, and that it is only 4 Ques-
ton of time when the step will lie taken.
This is premature. The Government hoDed
to be able to abandon Candahar, but to do
50 now would be to leave the city prey to
anarchy, as there is no one to turn 1t over to,
the Ameer being as yet too feeble The So
called National party is reorgaaizing at Far.
rat, where Ayo0b Khan has appointed
Hasllin1 Khan Governor, in order to harasS
the British. Such tactics must prolong the
stay Of the British troops. The Government
has been urged BY the Viceroy's Council to
retain control over the city, and
though Gen. WOiseley and Lord Airey pre-
fer the line Of hhojak, the Government is
bound for the present to maintain the occu-
patton. 4 garrison of TO- 600 men Is making
preparations to remain for the winter at the
city. ..:
AT0OB KHAN.
Special Cubic.
Inxnoy. Oct. "A dispatch received at
the War Office this afternoon says that Aynob
KIlan has passed through Furtah, leaving there
rfl. late Aiueer's widow and Sirdar Hashim
Khan. the latter as Governor. Ayoob Khan
declares that after going 10 Herat lle will re-
t1ir11 and attack CAndAIar. AdvlceS from
Cahui repurt all quiet there.
, 1880-10-03

The Geyser photographer WAS the gentleman
who accompanied us With his camera on our trip
from the hotel. While we cared little R
for phptogruphs which, at the rate OF
S10 per dozen, paired on our faces and
figures with IN entire canon OF crumbllng glory,
yet still came the arttst silently and patiently.
frpnt OF tho Witches Cnidron we halted, and
were arranged in \ group. We sat upon n me he
pleased, and looked straight ahead. The piate
WIS ia md the cloth WAS OF. Just then breeze
gent by the witches as the Scutchman said
epshrpuded us in steam so dense that photng-
rapher and camera alike disappeared from our
view, and with spattertng and coughing the Or
deal WAS over. The negative produced Was
, 1880-10-03

IEHQAG fs t0AGE A1<
late Tinted States Senator from Colorado IS
another successful operator In mines, altnoagn
his wealth WAS 50 great before the mining e1-
etement began that tnas IL accu,ated was o another
f9'fsoa i9 eoaoeoaon WITH tie Lttis Ritts0aTE;
ia Which @ ,st ne lara !ess saonn9 Of money in the
sticks OF that mine: do not know bow Just
the criticisms upon Cna{ee may aays been ',n' 1os
he market; but do know thar, at the time 9f
the the crisis ia Little PittsburEs stock: Jerome 3:
Chai1ee was not In conoiuon 70 faluk muIn +;
Florida at that time. npon what everybody, m
GLIDING the eminent pbyeic5ana who nag cnar9e
Of him, considered would oe nus n a"s{
fer37r tor many years, seemed to have reached
It's crisis. The pale tace, the attenuated form,
he iaded brain the exhausted vital ORGANS. dia
hesn hes charged with he responsibility for what
might be doing in Wall street; % thousand m miles
and. whether be lost or made in It; do not
KNOW. II is generally supposed be made large
sum. It is certain, however, that he is now very
man man. and, Us looked upon him. I was eSnti-
dent that be would have checked out AL bis
vast property TO my nAn, without con. %.
vt' YOUTH and esriy vtgor: Millions do not
make new stomach, or fortunes put new
liver IN q man; and mines and fortunes are oI
eiements aI.l Of physical lite. Chauee is regarded
now as well enough to return to bis mining en-
tarnrises. and is said to be connected With ae"
ache1ne that viii soon be called to public atten-
tinn. He is d Midowcr. with one daughter.-the
latter well provided for by an independent
dnwry, which has, undoubtedly, been placed BE-
vond the reach ct adventures.
STEPHEN ". DORSEY,
formerly United States Senator from Arkansas,
and now IN active member OF the Republican
Nadonnl Committee,-the brains Of u some & 10y.
has made large sums Ut money in mining. Inc
| RnreeI Building people say be has mate 1l.a4,
IN at least out Of miues. Besides nta loie1ess III
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-06-24
: The census bureau has received tt

- The census bureau has received the
first report of a refusal to answer the
questions legally put by a census emu
merator. The supervisor of the census
for Rhode Island wrote that one of the
Astors, who is domiciled in his handsome
villa at Newport, at first declined to an.
swer the questions put as to the ages of
the female members of his family, and,
on being pressed on this point, at last
fatty refused to answer any questions at
all. The supervisor wrote for instruc-
tions, and was directed to commence suit
against Mr.. Astor for the amount of pen.
atty prescribed in the law regulating
taking of the census. The bureau also
recently received request from the GEN.
sus officers in Utah for instructions as to
enumerating the Mormon women wheth-
er all the so.called wives of the Mormons
should be put down as married" or
whether only one should be SO entered,
and how to determine which one should
be so entered. In reply instructions were
sent to set down each Mormon woman,
married" or SINGLE" according as she
herself gave it.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-06-24
THE PUZZLED CENSUS rAKER.

SCOT any boys?" the marshal said
To lady from over the Rhine;
And the lady shook her flaxen head
And ciyilly answered, ssNine."
SCOT any girls?" the marshal said
J. To the lady.from over the Rhine;
And again the lady shook her head
And civilly answered, HtNine."
"But some are dead 2" the marshal, said
To the lady from over the Rhine;
And again the lady shook her head
And civilly answered, "Nine."
"Husband, of course?" the marshal said
To the lady from over the Rhine;
And again she shook her aaxen head
And civilly answered, "Nine."
s'The ID you have!" the marshal said
To the lady from over the Rhine;
And again she shook her ha1en head
And civilly answered, mine"
"Now what do you mean by shaking your
head
And always answering "Nine?H
.'Ich kann klein Englisch.!" civiuysaid
The lady from over the Rhine.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-06-24

VALUE OF OATMEAL.-Oatmeal is a
food of great Strength and nutrition, hav-
ing. claims to be better known and more
widely used than it is at present. Of
much service as brain food, it contains
phosphorus enough o..keep man doing
an ordinary amount of brain work in
good health and vigor. All medical au-
thorities unite in the opinion that, eaten
with milk, it is perfect food, and, having
requisite for The development of the
system. 1t is ple-eminently useful
food for growing children and the young
generally. Oatmeal requires much cook
ing to efectually burst the starch cells,
but when it is we'll cooked it will thicken
liquid much more than equal its weight
in wheaton -four. The oats of this coun
try are superior to those grown on the
Continent and the southern part Of Eng.
land, but certainly inferior to the Scotch,
where considerable pains are taken to
cultivate them, and it is needless to point
out that the Scotch are an example of q
strong and thoroughly robust nation,
which result is justly set down as being
derived from the plentiful use Of oat-
meal. Guthrie has asserted that in this
country, men have the largest heads of
any nation in the world-not even the
English having such large heads-which
he attributes to the universal use of oat.
meal, as universal it is, being found alike
ON the tables of the rich and the tables of
the poor-in the morning porridge, and
in the evening the traditional cake. The
two principal ways of cooking oatmeal
are porridge and cake (bannock) which
will describe. First, then, we will COM
mence with recipe for porridge: To
three pints Of boiling water add level
teaspoon of salt and pint of coarse meal,
stirring while it is being slowly poured
in; continue stirring until the meal is
diffused through the water-about eight
or ten minutes. Cover it closely then,
and place it where it will simmer for an
hour; avoid stirring during the whole of
that time. Serve hot, with as little mess
ing as possible, accompanied with milk,
maple syrup or sugar and cream. 10
make oatmeal cake, place i'll bowl
quart of meal, add to it as much cold wa
ter as will form tinto soft light dough,
cover it with cloth fifteen minutes to
allow it to swell, then dust the pasteboard
with meal, turn out the dough and give
it vigorous kneading. Cover it with cloth
few minutes and proceed at once to roll
it to an eighth Of an inch thickness; cut
it in FIVE pieces and partly cook them on
a griddle, then finish them by toasting
in front of the fire.-DubHn Farmer.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-06-24

A man who had imbibed rather free.
ly in the morning was driving his COW to
pasture, when fellow extolled the COW.
"Yes, sir" said the owner, Everybody is
praisiug that cow" Il wish owned
her," said No. g. Just then couple of
toads jumped in front of the COW. "Look
here" exclaimed the owner. "If you'll
eat those two tosds I'll give you the cow"
"Will your said the man. He seized a
toad, and soon ate him up. 1t was too
much for his stomach, and he stopped to
consider, while the owner of the COW be-
gan to fear that he had lost her. There
was pause, when a happy thought hit
the toad-eater. "I'll tell you what I'll
do," said the toad-eater. If you will eat
the other toad I'll let you up on your of.
fer" "Done," said the owner, and lie
gobbled the second toad in giffy. They
were both somewhat the worse for their
meal, and It's still disputed point which
came out ahead. If any one can see any
application to certain performances of a
recent date, says the Boston Journal, we
shall make no objection. The COW was
feeding all the time.
- Bulgaria is nice kind of place to
live in. A resident says that when three
or four armed Bulgarians meet an un-
armed Turk alone, they generally cut off
his head and when three or four Turks
meet Bulgarian under similar circum-
stances, they generally cut off his head.
When the Turk loses his head the case
is ended, but when the Bulgarian is
found there is an inquiry. Turks are ar
rested and examined, and encouraged to
reed.hot irons to the soles of their feet.
John Burnside, a Louisiana sugar
planter, realized $500, 900 from his crops
last year. He came to New Orleans from
Virginia a poor boy, became a wealthy
dry goods man, and is now the greatest
planter in the South.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-06-24

HAUNTED MB.-A Workingman says:
"Debt, poverty and suffering haunted me
for years, caused by a sick family and
large bills for doctoring, which did no
good. I was completely discouraged,
until one year ago, by the advice of my
pastor, I procured Hop Bitters and COM
menced their use, and in one month we
were all we'll, and none of US have been
sick day since; and 1 want to say to
all poor men, you can keep your families
we'll year with Hop Bitters for less
than one doctors visit will cost."-Chris-
linn ddyocnfe
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-06-24

= Russia and China are making faces
at each other these days, and if the un-
pleasantness ends in fight, a very spir-
tied fight it will be. Russia is strong and
China is by no means weak, having an
army of 100000 men at her command.
According to the Washington Star,
Don Cameron has absolutely refused the
Craftsmanship of the Republican Nation
al Committee, although asked by the
friends of Gen. Garfield to accept it.