The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-02-26
FACTS I'M RANCIRs.
Unpleasant quarters-Lead ones.

"AP0 gbuA ANDNs
Whoever conquers Incidence can con.
quer most things.
He who receives a good turn should
never forget it; he who does one should
never remember il.
The wife who utilities her husbands
%shoebrush on the cooking stove opens
the door 10 the divorce court.
A botanist says that there are AZ 900
different kinds Of weeds in the United
States, 1900 being found in New York
state.
Smythckins, who is something OF O
dandy, can not understand why the
dressing Of a turkey should always be
on the Inside.
A newspaper reporter who died re-
Gently left a large sum Of money behind
him. In fact, he left all the money
there wa in the world.
A Des Moines refused TO lend
her husband to q friend to accompany
her home, on the ground that it is not
well for man to be a loan.
The Duke OF e limbaugh recently made
his appearance in the orchestra among
the first violins at a charity concert given
at the Royal Albert Hall, in London.
I'm on the wrong tack as the sea
captain said when he suddenly lifted
his bare foot from the cabin carpet and
anathematically gyrated into his bunk.
1t is not generally known that some
hymns frequently sung in Episcopal
churches were composed by DR.. Sulli-
van, of 'Pinafore' and otLer harmonious
fame.
Nj. Jones, father wants to borrow
your paper. He only wants to read it..
We'll, go back and tell your father to
send me his supper, Tell him I only
want to eat it,
The average housewife will take more
pains to carry a sickly ifteen.cent plant
through four months of winter than she
will to keep butter on the ice during
three months of hot weather.
1t is difficult to understand why some
people should provide such extensive
storage facilities for salt. 1t is nothing
unusual to hear of the salt rheum and
the salt cellar in the same house.
The chief secret Of comfort lies in not
suffering tribes to vex us, and in pru.
IDENTIFY cultivating our underground OF
small pleasures, since very few great
ones, alasl are let on long leases.
Do not think Of knocking out another
mans brains because he differs in opin.
ion from you. It would be as rational
to knock yourself on the head because
You differ from yourself ten years ago.
To take q deep, long breath in the
presence of any person having a con.
tagious disease is dangerous. The less
infected air taken into the lungs the less
the chances of contracting the disease.
Tommy, aged ten, on q visit to his
grandmamma in the country, hangs his
little hat and cloak in the hallway: NO
fear OF burglars now, Aunt Mary, said
Tommy, with a mans hat and coat in
the halli'
Ma, said a youngster to his mother
the other day, 'why is your cupboard
like a vegetable gardenf' 4 don't
know, my child; that's more than l can
I'll tell you why, ma. It's be-
cause you have pas nips in it,
All can not become scholars; but all
may be wise unto salvation. All can not
acquire wealth. but all may gain the
unsearchable riches OF Christ. All can
not walk upon the high places of the
eerth; but all may be great in the sight
Of the Lord.
Happiness is like mama. 1t is to be
gathered in the grains and enjoyed every
day; it will not keep; it can not be &C.
cumulated; nor need we 60 ont of our
nor into remote places to gsther
it, since it has rained down from heaven,
our very doors, or rather within
them.
Your handwriting is very bad indeed
said a gentleman to a friend more ad-
TO boating than to study; You
really ought to learn to write better.
Aye, ayeI' replied the young man; it is
Ill very well for You to tell me that, but
4 I were to write better, people would
ind out how ] could SPELL
After the ceremony had been per-
'ormed at a Fall River wedding, a for
ner husband of the bride presented him.
'elf. He had been away for years, and
The had supposed herself a widow. He
,ffered to leave her to the new husband
( she would give him her child, and she
,losed the bargain on that basis.
Senator Sharon, Of Nevada, who is the
vealthiest mar in Congress by several
Millions, is the smallest in stature. He
8 barely five feet high, aud weighs a
rife over q hundred pounds. Repre-.
entative Chittenden, of New York, also
millionaire, is not quite so tall as Mr.. {
but beats him in a%voirdupois. j
1t always appears to be absurd to us
hear the hero or heavy villain in the
nelodrama exclaim, at the footlights, {
'efore secreting himself in a musty
loset in the castle: 'And--now-if-
m-dis-cov-e-r-r-r-e-d-I'm lost
m lostI' when the stupidest boy in the O