The Benton weekly record., 1880-09-24
ENVOY
2 Hsmy T. Cow.

have always made it a point TO agree
with my wife. discovered in the first
open mutiny that it saved queensware and
prevented the obnornlal development Of
my chronological protuberanees; and
when Mrs. Adams eignitied that we ought
to have a COW, said yes, and wondered
Why I had 60 long neglected to provide u
cow. .& S%5. tfst&&
''You see, DEAR said Mrz. A., '!it costs
us twenty cents Il day now for the milk
we use, and it's not always OF the best
quality either. Twenty cents day. That's |
seventy-three dollars year-elough to |
buy two. or three COWS, such as would do
for our family. And then would 80 en-
joy getting up early. these. mornings, and
going out to the pen and milking the cow.
There ia something exhilarating in the
bare contemplation Of it. ..E
awe will have a cow" | said, and |
remembered that my neighbor Hudspeth
had mentioned to me only last week that
he had a COW to sell-a blooded long horn,
he called her-and taking the hired man
with me, after breakfistI went to Hud-
speth to negotiate for COW. Knowing
human weakness when it grapples with
the Welding capacity Of d COW, would
save Hudspeth from hopeless perjury, and
said.
sfHudspeth, let us be men i'll this busi-
ness. Now don't want q tour-gallon
COW nor twelve-quart COW, nor even
will OH
yourcow to furnish my family with three
quarts Of milk day
"Three quarts Why, man, she'll
give"
'futlspcth, y said, frigidly, II did not
expect this of you. / want three-quart
Cow I will buy your COW as three-quart
COW: and If she gives five quarts, or is
able to run cheese factory by herself, all
right; will build the cheesery, and we
will divide the profits. But if your
cow should fail to supply my modest de-
mand-''
.Fail! Well, if she don't give
ssThere that will do, Hudspeth;'' | said,
and instructing him to deliver the COW and
calf to the hired man, ] went down town
to the office.
When returned at noon found Mrs.
Adams experimenting the erection OF
cow-shed with rail inclosure. The hired
man would bring the COW home in the
evening. At dinner my wife was enthu-
siastic over the COW. She even got so fal
as to hint about opening q dairy for the
purpose OF supplying few Of the more
intimate neighbors with pure milk.
-. ."rhat is good idea," said, "and
will consult with the various hotels, res
taurauts and confectioneries to furnish tn
milk for ice-crcat1l and SO forth,'' and
went down town.
When got home in the evening tn
cow war there, and the pen was surround
ed BY number Of my wife's temaI
friends, with more or less children, VII
we're critically inspecting the COW.
stSlst ia a little nervous" said my wife
.and viii not milk her until morning
she will he used 70 the place by tn;
time
"a little ahsinthe will quiet her,
said. perhaps you3 bad better give rs
some."
NV suggestion was overluled by m
wife's friends. ..s,z, 5z-.
Early the next morning Mrs. A., sill
ped quietly out Of bed, and hearing faint
the sound of her voice, as she tlliled
light air84while she went III search oft
milking utcnail, went to sleep again, b
was aroused presently by an insurrectit
III the vicinity Of the cow-pen. ~ @
ssEvidently Mrs. Adams is enjoys
herself with the cow said and fiasti
attiring myself, I went to the door,
and my wife on the rail-fence, jabbing
the COW with II pitchfork, and otferil
with some vehemence to wager the be;
that she {the heast) would never do
again.
seIf the bare contemplation Of milk
gaa5exh hilarating te my Wife, thls--t
must be enhancing" said TO myse
and the next instant the railing Of the I
gave way. Mrs. Adams disappeared unt
panel it, and the COW was at large.
.sWhcre are you, my dear?' | sa
and strolled ont TO the pen and began
clear away the wreck. My wife was
hurt. l didn't inquire how the dist
bance began, as Mrs. Adams was u
frame Of mind for details, but on peer
around saw the nlilk-tin jammed II
crack of the fence across the way, and
the middle OF the pen was an impress,
though human form had lain there
moment, and any question I thou
would be superfuous. The butcher
the COW made very good beef, and
wife finds other means Of enjoyment NJ
Dock Adams, ~ Philadelphia Irunsct