The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-07-02

You can't draw blood from a stone,
but you can stone a ''blood."
lr's long lane that has no turn, but it
sometimes runs up against fence.
The London Times is grumbling Mt
the lack of public parks in the great
English metropolis
do you go to the Adirondacks this
summer, my buck?" "No deer, I've
another roe to hoe"
"A RAT poison is advertised that will
make rats go away to a neighbours house
and die. 1t fills long felt want.
HE Derrick tells of an Oil City man
who haste turn his toes in. If he didn't
they would hit the sides of the streets.
ONE OF Barnums Zulus has run away
from the show. Show this to your wife
II she wishes to venture out on picnic.
AN Irish gentleman, speaking of the
scarcity of feed in Utah, saws that thous-
ands OF cattle have had to be killed TO
save their lives
A NEW shade for silk is called 'lemon-
ade color, whatever that may mean.-
.Ne'o Orleans Picayune.. 1t means
heavy watered silk.
AMoNGthe assets of q grocer who failed
III business in Wisconsin town is put
down: Zone liver-pad, worn six weeks
worth fifty cents. ="
BIRDS begin their morning concerts
shortly aster B o'clock, and it is only the
early riser that can have the full benefit
OF their sweet songs.
WE can't see why prize fights are so
very bad. The two principals get what
they deserve, and more or less loafers
are crippled or killed.
The men who pack the little boxes of
figs have wonderful memories. They
never forget to put the wormy fruit at
the bottom of the box
BY drinking kerosene you can cure
yourself of diphtheria, but before You try
it, consider which is preferable, drinking
kerosene or having the diphtheria.
WHEN Kentucky paragrapher writes
word that the printer can't make out,
the latter sets 1t up as ''mules," and nine
times out Of ten he gets it right.-BoS-
ton Post.
BUSINESS men frequently advertise for
ga boy to run errands. The way boys
crawl to and from the postoflice indi-
Gates that the boy expected to run has
never been found
THE law against carrying concealed
weapons does not apply to bicycles.
They are revolvers, but they avoid cart
ridges, and never go off of themselves.
-Philadclohia Butiotin.
REGINALD BOND is the name of an
aristocratic Boston banker. He writes
his name Reg. Bond Z" for short" and
irreverent persons call him Registered
Bond-but not to his face
A WEALTHY manufacturer of Connecti-
cut having built an elegant mansion, and
wishing to take a second wife, said to his
architect (Which agrees best with
brick and brown stone, brunette or
blonde?"
Ir has been discovered that phamnus
frangIlla is good substitute for rahmus
catharticus, and only costs half as much.
Then of course it will probably supply
the place of the other to a considerable
extent -Peck's Sun.
AN eminent Boston preacher once said
that it was a mockery to pray at night
for sweet and refreshing sleep, without
seeing to it that the bedroom is well
ventilated God takes care of those
who take care of themselves.
Mrs. GEORGE Eliot Cross will reside
in Cheyne Walk, Chelsea. The marriage
of the eminent authoress has caused a
great deal of hard feeling among her
friends, who seem to know more about
her business than she does herself.