The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-12-09
THE BITTER BIT
How a Jocund Young Dealer in
Cooking Utensils Had to Shell
Out Seventy-fve Cents for
a Christmas Turkey.

Our friend, Mr. Ray, is plump.
not to say perfectly round, deale'
in tinware on the south side of the
Public Square. He loves fun quite
as much as he adores victuals and
that is saying a great deal for Mr..
Rays admiration for a joke. The
other day a loosely put together
darkey ratified into Mr.. Rays es-
adjustment with a fat gobbler. I'm
der his right armpit and manifested
desire 10 sell the fowl at the mar
ket price. Mr.. Ray affected a dis
position to buy, but finally referred
the innocent African to his wife,
giving her name as Mrs. johnson,
and directing him to the domicile of
certain young lady whom he
thought would be the last person
in this part of the moral vineyard
to take in a turkey labeled in that
way. Mr.. Ray is not married, as
everybody knows, although he is
understood to be a promiscuous
candidate for hymeneal honors; but
the innocent "man and brother"
didn't know this and he logged
along all the same in the direction
of the mansion described. In an
evil hour for Mr.. Ray, that incorri-
gible wag, DR.. j FOL Grant, over
heard the conversation, and set his
pegs accordingly. Following the
negro, he informed him at a con
venieht distance that he was au-
thorized by Mr.. Ray to say that his
name was not Johnson; that he had
no wife; that he really wanted to
purchase the turkey for young
lady living at the house mentioned,
but felt a delicacy in saying as
much and had therefore deputized
him CDR. Grant, to explain mat
tiers. DR.. Grant then instructed the
negro to present the turkey to the
young lady in Mr.. Rays name and |
ask her for a note acknowledging
the receipt thereof, on which he
could collect the price of the fowl.
These instructions were faithfully |
carried out. The young lady, some
what surprised, took in the turkey
nevertheless, writing a note oil
thanks to Mr.. Ray, which the negro
duly ted, along with a pres
sing demand for seventy five cents
Mr.. Ray received it with a sickly
smile, all the more CHASTITY because
ne discovered sundry broad grins
IN the faces of the bystanders, and
ne FASTENED to write an eplstle ex
the mistake. He informed
,he tair damsel in the choicest Ian
gaage tina. stoves and tinware and
loss of three quarters of a
iollar could INSPIRE that it was all
| joke-a miserable ioke-put upon
lin by some VOL in cheap cloth
ny, and be hoped she would let the
poor down rodden Ethiopian have
lis turkey SO that he could depart
n peace and sell it to somebody
Who was wealthy enough to buy it
The young lady took in the situa-
ion; but she held on to the turkey.
She wrote Mr.. Ray a sweet little
tote, in which she insisted that the
oke was capital one, too good, in
act, to be spoiled for a miserable
)ecuniary consideration, and she
hoped he would spare weary Afri-
IAN return trip by paying him
seventy five cents and charging it
lp to raw material. When Mr..
Ray perused this significant billet
ioux, he snatched open his cash
drawer, hurled q lot of silver coin
At the footsore African and in re
spouse to an inquiry from a Gus
TONER as TO the price oil a corn
pepper replied savagely-"Seventy-
i've cents, and a put-up job at
5hatr