Daily globe., 1880-08-08
BACHELOR HOUSEKEEPING,

BACHELOR HOUSEKEEPING.
Dreary Observation-Disclosures, yer-
dureless November-had put its frozen
period to the long golden autumn days.
Very lonely and blank, too, seemed the
future to James and William Harvard,
sitting in the large drawing-room just as
the night shadows were creeping to the
feet of the high range of hills sweeping
down from the right, to shut in view from
the windows OF Harvard Villa.
James Harvard and William were
bachelors-James the elder being forty
five, ,sedate, intelligent and eccentric; Will
liam, some fifteen years his junior, hand
some, 1mpetuous and subject to fits of
gloom and dependency.
They were both sad, thoughtful and
anxious this dreary November afternoon.
James sat in mis- favorite lounging chair
~ one OF the windows, looking mourn
fully at the pile of dead leaves stirring
uneasilY beneath the oak rees,while Will
liam, half reclining on lounge. gazed
in gloomy abstraction into the cracking
wood fire.
And perhaps here, by way of explana-
tion, it would be proper to remark, that
the brothers IN their earlier years had
been ,jilted; therefore both these gentle
men united in cordial dislike toward
all crinohned humanity. unless we ex-
ccpt the venerable housekeeper, who that
dreary November day had been con-
signed to the grave, leaving our friends
in manifestly distressing dilemma.
At length James face frightened, and
he ceased surveying the brown leaves and
turned his regards upon his brother. say
| ing:
"l'll tell yon, William, we can manage
our own affairs. Can we not9'
II am positive; he went on, warming
with the subject, "that can superlntend
the cooking, baking and washing dishes
and setting table: while you, dear James
shall be chambermaM (D and wash and
| iron"
James, Notwithstanding sundry mis-
givings, determined to be brave and reso-
lutte. Therefor he managed to say that
he had not lived to the advanced age of
forty-five without an understanding of the
laws governing and regulating wash-tubs
| and clothes lines; while William confess
ed to having, from his youth, entertained
| a warm admiration for the study of kitch
en- economy.
| The morning which was to witness the
strang metamorphosis OF the brothers
dawned. William rose early, and stole
on tip-toe from his dormitory-which
was directly opposite to that of his broth
er's, down to the basement. Presently,
there arose clatter and din never known
in those regions before; and soon through
the sleeping department resounding a
beating and shaking, with other vigor-
GUS demonstrations.
While William, perspiring over the
kitchen-range, placed his potatoes to
boil in sauce pan-muttering that the
kettle was shock1ngly small-poured
boiling water on his toes, BACKED his
fingers with the poker; or, in the dining
room all awry, after vain endeavor to
decide which was the right side, used
delicate Serves china for the breakfast
service, and got towels for napkins.
James, in the bedrooms, patted and
shook the feather beds, placed the white
counterpanes next to the sheet, and the
ccmforters and holsters On top, and won
dered at the lack of something to COM
plete the tout ensemble when the pillows
lay behind the lounge.
William put the potatoes on platter,
| the steak in tureen. and the coffee-pot
on the lamp-mat.
James appeared at the table with nair
and apparel picturesquely adorned with
| with coal-black.
"You look like savage in war paint"
was James complimentary remark.
'sAnd you," was the laughing 1etort,
''resemble the individual referred to.
with feathers added
William S style of washing dishes was
decidedly uniqne-as as he began first with
the tea pots and kettles, and ended with
the tea cups and silver.
James swept the center OF the rooms
to the entire exclusion OF the angles,
and busted the furniture with the skirt
Of his dressing-gown.
William declared that baking must be
attended to. He was positive tat he
could make bread to charm; so, filling
the large wooden bowl with -four, he pro-
ceeded to moisten it with boiling water
| and, THAT I should write it, utterly obliv
ious of the fact that he had not washed
his hands, mixed the unique compound,
and placed it to rise in the oven. The
result was, the staff of life was decidedly
soggy. He further essayed to compound
cake, but failed, and thea remarked that
he never was fond of cake-he preferred
pie; but somehow fatality seemed to
attend all his efforts.
While William was going through the
dull routine Of the kitchen, James pro-
| ceeded to cleanse the linen-guite stran
gel to the fact that said linen would not
be exactly immaculate without boiling
and rlnsing, though he starched the
whole washing In ironing he yellowed
the clothes, and ran the point of the
smoothing iron through the plaits il his
incest bosoms.
| William used all the napkins and sew
eral of his pocket handkerchlefs for tea
towels, and by a number of untoward ac-
cidents smashed a large share of the
crockery.
I Saturday night found them in lamen-
table condition. At last both bachelors