Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-10-03
WIT AND HUMOR.

The society lady never sheds tears.
She knows enough to keep her pow
der dry.
Says a French critic: III like girl
before she gets Womanish, and Wo-
man before she gets girlish."
None of the Cincinnati nobs raise
their hats to lady until they have
passed by her two feet.
A printers girl fell exhausted into
his arms at ball. 1t was feint to
work in an EN- brace.
"Y ou're man after my own heart,n
as the blushing maiden confessed when
her lover proposed marriage.
An Oil City girl whose new beau
is clerk in a dry-goods store told q
friends she had got a new calico wrapper.
A woman isn't fit to have a baby
who doesn't know how to hold it:
and this as true of tongue as of a
baby.
In some respects the gentler sex far
surpass us. No man, for instance, can
deliver lecture with dozen pins in
his mouth.
81 have had surfeit of mock turtle
since l have been married, therefore
cat the soup yourself, my DEAR" said a
young married man to his Wife.
A MANNED soldier begged charity of
a poet, saying, II have license to beg"
"Lice thou may'st have, but sense
thou canst have none, to beg of a
poet"
1t is awful hard to realize that a
woman is an angel when one sees her
pick up clothes-prop fourteen feet
long to drive u tWo-ounce chicken out
OF the yard.
An epicure requested his landlord
to get him spare-rib. The inn-keep-
er declared he had none but crooked
rib, WHICH he should be glad enough
to spare.
There are things that will make a
man mad, but one is enough when his
wife tells him he can't have any din
ner because she couldn't get the wash
boiler OIL the stove i'll time.
a young gentleman being pressed
very hard ia company to SIM, even
after he had solemnly assured them
he could not, observed testify they in
tended to make butt Of INN. No.
my good sir, said Root, 1--WE only want
10 get stavc out OF YOU"
A belle, meeting her rival, said.
with an air OF much concern: "Iy
dear, how old you look to-day. [
never saw you look so oldn well"
she quietly replied, "that is not at all
wonderful, for, you sec, L never was
SO Old before as 1 am to-day !"
At crowded French country thea
tire woman fell from the gallery to
the pit, and was picked up Dy one of
the spectators, who, hearing her
grooming, asked her ii she was injured.
much lnjured~ exclaimed the wo-
man, Il should think l am. [ have
lost the best seat in the very middle
of the front row."
A gentleman informed by bill on
the window OF house, that apart
ments were to be let" knocked as the
door, and, attended by pretty female
took a survey of the premises. pray
my DEAR" SAID he smiling, fare you to
be let with these lodglng?" mo-"
replied the file de chambre with viva
CITY, "but L am to be let Alone"
1t was bold, brash census man
Approached lady true;
elbow many kids?" said he, and she
Said, "What is that TO you?"
"Its my business" and she screamed.
'Come here a minute, Damp
And burly person came and put
A head On the census man.
a gentleman ordered his servant "a
regular Pat) to wake him al & o'clock
that he might get ready to start at 2
by an early coach, in which he had
taken his place, for the country. The
gentleman awoke and called his man:
"What o'clock is it'll" ''Just 7, your.
honor" "Seven-did l no. oe.l YOU to
wake me at &C" Eyes, sir" "And
why did you not?" because YOUR
honor was asleep"