The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1880-02-13
THE BRAKEMAN WHO WENT TO
CHURCH.

To mo comes the brakeman, and
seating himself on the arm of the sea-
says: "I went to church yester
day."
"Yes?' | said, with that interested
infection that asks for more. "And
what church did you attendw
which do you guess?" he asked.
"Some union mission church!'
hazarded.
"Naw," he said, "I don't like to run
on these branch roads very much.
don't often go TO church, and when |
do, want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and You 20
on schedule time and don't have 10
wait on connections. L don't like TO
run on branch. Good enough, but |
don't like it."
"Eplscopal?" l guessed.
"Limited express" he said, call
palace cars and 50 extra for a scat :
fast time, and only stops at the big
stations. Nice line, but too exhaustive
for brakemcn. All train men in uni
torm, conductors punch and lantern
silver plated, and no train boys allow
ed. Then the passengers are allowed
to talk back at the conductor; and il
makes them too free and easy. No |
couldn't stand the palace cars. Rich
road though. Don't often hear of a re-
ceiver being appointed for that line.
Some mighty nice people travel on it.
toO."
Univcrsalistw guessed.
" Broad guagc," said the brakeman,
"does too much complimentary bust.
Cxynn ,n1x
Conductor doesn't got fare once in
fifty-milcs. Stops at all flag stations
and won't run into anything but a
union depot. No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are vague, though
and the trainmen don't get along we'll
with the passengers. No, i don't go to
the Univcrsalist, though l know some
awfully good men who run on that
road"
"Perhaps you went to the Unita-
rians?"
"No, | didn't, but | might have done
worse. That is a mighty good road
well ballasted with reason, though il
runs through region a little bit cold,
and there is apt TO be some ice and
snow on the track, but in case of acci.
/ dent there is no danger of upsettine
the stoves and being burnt up; anj
there's one good thing about it, the
neighbors are generally ready to come
. and help when you do get into trouble
They like to have things nice and com
Portable in this world, doing what the,
{ think is about right and taking theiI
chances for the other. They DOM
seem to take much stock in being a.
miserable as you can here in the hope
that you will be the happier for i
\ there. They seem to think that
mans going to reap the same kind o
crop that he plants. and that if he puti
in selfish, worthless kind of life OF
this earth it amt a-going to come ou
a very fine specimen In heaven
Seems to be some sense as we'll as poe
try in that, bnt l was raised al
T orthodox" and 'twouldn't do for M
to be seen on that train or L might los
my place on the other line, as there's
good deal of competition between tn
two roads, and our folks are gcttin
afraid of losing travel"
Presbyterian" l asked.
"Narrow guagc, ch?" said th
brakeman, "pretty track, straight as
rule; tunnel right through mountai
rather than go around it; spirit-levC
grade; passengers have to show thei
tickets before they get on the trair
| Mighty strict road, but the cars arc
little narrow; have to sit one in a sea
and no room i'll the aisle to dance
Then there's no stop over tickets allow
ed; got to go straight through to til
station you're ticketed for, or you can
get on at all. When the cars full II
extra coaches; cars built at the shoI
to hold just so many and nobody els
allowed on. But You don't often hea
of an accident on this road. It's ru
right up to the rules"
"Maybe you joined the free thinl
ers?" j said.
Scrub road" said the brakeman
"dirt road bed and no ballast; no tim
card and no train dispatcher. A
trains run wild and every engine,
makes his own time, just as he please
Smoke if you want to; kind of a goa
lyou-please road. Too many sid
tracks, and every switch wide open a
II the time, with the switchman sour
le asleep and the target lamp dead on
5. Get on as you please and get off whe
&c 4 you want to. DON'T have to show yol
y. tickets, and the conductor isn't expec
ed 10 do anything but amuse tho pas
engers. No, sir, was offered pas
but don't like the line. don't like
travel on line that has no terminu
Do you know, sir, asked a divisiC
= superintendent where that road run /
III and he said he hoped to die If he kne,
i asked him If the general spperinten,
ie ent could tell me, and he said he didr
nc believe they had general superinten
es - ent, and If they had he didn't know al
IS more about the road than the passe
Il gers. asked him who ne rep orted
CO and he said "nobody.v | asked a co
ductor who he got his orders from, al
p he said he didn't take orders from al
living man or dead ghost. And whs
| asked the engineer who he got h
orders from, he said he'd like to 8
anybody give him orders, he'd run tn
II train to suit himself or he'd run it in
e the ditch. Now You see, sir, I'm ia
road man, aud don't care to run on
re- road that makes no connections, ru
oe nowhere and has no superintendent
m m 1t may be all right, but I've railroad
'S too long TO understand it.
Did yon try the Methodist?"