The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-03-31
FACTS AND FANCIES

FACTS AND FANCIES
SATURDAY is wash-day all over Rus
STA.
An appeal to the understanding.
Wipe your feet"
WR1Ts of error Love letters to an.
other mans wife.
THE pin is mightier than the eward.
You can sit on the sward with impunity
NoK1ss1Na by telephone for us. We
prefer to take the electricity direct from
the battery.
In most of the States elections are
held the third day of the week because
it is chooseday.
A NEW book, like fresh lobster,
doesn't benefit man much until it is
red and digested.
SP1oER says his collar-button is like
the celebration of the Fourth of July
| it is sure to come off.
SCORES of thousands of camels are
killed by over-exertion and starvation
IN every campaign in India.
HALE a citizens time in the coun-
tries OF the Old World is taken up in
learning how to be soldier.
VICTOR HUGO says that love gives him
perspicuity. In this, country it gener-
ally sets man to buying dresses.
THIS is the latest for wedding invita-
! tions: "Come around and see us capt.
ure q mother-in-law, at 8 o'clock,
sharp"
WITHOUT saying which one does the
hugging, Miss Muloch says bear and
forbear are the two great bears of mat
rimony.
THERE are pianists so expert in varia-
tions that they can play all around a
melody or an old air without ever hit
ting it once.
EMINENT German statisticiahs calcu-
late that the amount of money spent in
railroads since the invention of the loco
motive reaches the vast sum of $15,-
OOO,OOO,OOO.
AN auctioneer was endeavoring to sell
a fowing- piece, and, failing to get q
bid, bystander, who had read the pa
pers, said: elbow in the muzzle, and
it will 60 off,"
A CALIFORNIA counterfeiter put the
officers on track of chap who had $25
in bogus coin about him, and then made
his own escape with over $4,000 of the
stuff in sache]
"YoU just take bottle Of my medi-
cine," said quack doctor to con-
sumptive, " and you'll never cough
again." SIS it so fatal as that" pasped
the consumptive.
| How is it, in fashionable weddings.
that we always have catalogue of the
brides wearing apparel, while we never
hear of the groom having so much as
new pair of socks.
A NOTICE in Western newspaper of
a steamboat explosion ends as follows:
The Captain swan ashore. So did the
chambermaid; she was insured for
SIS, 900, and loaded with iron"
| A PHILADELPHIA newspaper describes
the Edison lamp as "the size of a lady's
fist" which is about as definite as a
certain recipe, in which one of the in
gradients was "as big as piece of chalk"
"Is IT possible, miss, that you do not
know the names of some of your best
friends?" inquired gentleman Of a
lady. Certainly" she replied; II don't
even knew what my own will be q year,
hence"
DID it ever occur to you why law
yer who is conducting disputed-will
case is like a trapeze performer in cir
Gus? Didn't? Well, it's because he
flies through the heir with the greatest
of fees.
INDIGNANT wife-"H I had known
you were coming home in this condi-
ton, I should have gone home to my
fathers" Inebriated husband He
would you? I'm awf sorry didn't shend
you word-hic."
The system by double entry. origi-
nally called italian bookkeeping, was
taken from the course of algebra which
was published by Burgo, at Venice, in
the fifteenth century. It was made
known in England by James Peele, in
1869.
A SHIRT has two arms, Just as panta-
looms have two legs. Yet one is called
pair and the others only one. Isn't
it time that we let up on astronomy and
paid more attention to the everyday
triAes that vex the clearest mindp
BOY once took It in his head
That he would exercise his Sled r
He took that sled into the road,
And lord massey! how he slode
And as he slid he laughing cried
"What fun upon my sled to slide"
| And as he laughed. before he knawed
he from that sliding sled was slude
Upon the slab where he was laid
| They carved this line: "This boy was slade"
Kansas CITY Times.
OF what sort of stuff are burglars
made? The wife of one has been beg.
ging New York Judge to save her son
from the influences with which her hus.
bands calling has surrounded the boy.
Anywhere but among the burglars such
man would appear to be worse than a
brute.
IT was written, @Her dainty feet were
incased in shoes that might haye been
taken for fairy boots" but the compost
tor made it to read, "Her dirty feet were
incased in shoes that might have been
taken for ferry-boats," and he is no
longer dweller in Chicago, but fugi-
tive in the land.
TWIN brothers at Evergreen, Ala,
were not only alike in looks, but SO
equal in strength that awrestling match
was arranged as a test. This did not
| co%f1o tho ~ fko, hoxvovov %or ~ ,,,oS