Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-08-14
CHUCKER's PANTALOONS.

How far il it expedient to convert q
railway carriage into dressing-room is
a question which would be quickly SOW
| ed in the negative In continental coun-
tries where guards walk along the loot
boards and collect tickets while the train
Is in motion. But in England passen-
ger who likes to change his attire in q
tirst-class compartment is pretty secure
from interruption; at least 80 thought
Mr.. Barnaby Chucker, as he alighted
from handsom at Paddington and rush
ed across the platform, holding rail.
way rug and carpet-bag, which con.
tanned complete change OF raiment-to
| wit, dress-clothes.
Mr.. Chucker had received an invita-.
lion to dine at Windsor with some
friends of influential position, but being
a busy man, he had not found time to
dress at his office in the city, or at his
chambers in the west End. Stepping
| into the train, he slipped shilling into
the hand OF the guard and said: Keep
me this compartment, please, as l want
to dress" "All right sir" answered
the guard, and the next moment the
train started. Mr.. Chucker then un-
locked his carpet bag and drew out
clean shirt, with other equipments ne.
cessary to his perfect adornment.
1t must not be supposed that he did
this without reluctance, for he was a
great stickler about all the properties OF
life. He objected to seeing things out
place or doing things out OF season. Ii
he had caught his best friend changing
his pantaloons in railway carriage he
would have thought meanly OF him for
being of disorderly habits, and 80 now
he Judged himself with candid severn
ty for not having better regulated his
own time. "If an accident occurred,
unused he, as he removed his coat and
waistcoat, al wonder what would be
thought OF me for being half-undressed
in train?"
This reflection made him redden. He
was a shy, middle.aged man, with large
red ears and fat ford face. The effort
of pulling off his boots always sufiused
his countenance with crimson, and 1t
did so now, insomuch that what with
the color that came from physical exer-
ton and that which resulted from
troubled conscience, Mr.. Barnaby
Chucker looked truly distressed. Hav-
ing removed his boots, he denuded him.
self of his trousers. This was trying
moment, for if an accident had happen
ed then why, why, dear me" ejacu-
lated Mr.. Chucker, at this stage OF his
cogitations, "I-think the train is STOP
ping
The train was stopping in effect. as
Mr.. Chucker might have forseen that 1t
would, but he has been 30 enwrapped
in his self.upbraiding thoughts that he
had not even noticed the first slacken-
ing OF the engines speed. He now
found himself in the midst OF very lit
ter of clothes, and with no time to re-
dress himself before the train stopped.
He had to decide hastily whether he
would steam along Ealing platform in
his shirtsleeves or minus his pantaloons.
He chose wisely in budding on his
coat, which he buttoned up, while he
covered his lower man with his railway
rug. This done he collected as many OF
his belongings as he could into his bag,
kicked his boots under seat, and tried
TO look dignified. The train had come
to stand.still now, and guard open
ed the door of the carriage in which our
poor hero was sitting, and cried:
There's room here, sir, for you and this
lady,"
"Hie, guard" exclaimed Mr.. Chucker,
leaning out in horror, "you told me 1
should have this compartment to my
sell"
Unfortunately for our modest friend,
the guard to whom he had given the
shilling was not the one appointed to
travel with the train. These little mis-
takes often occur. and lead to unpleasant
consequences. The present guard SAID
bluntly: 81 can't give you compart-
ment to yourself unless you pay Tor 1t,
sir. It's against the rules, Here, ma
dam, step in, please"
A lady who looked in very delicate
health, got into the carriage, and gen.
tleman with her. Mr.. Barnaby Chucker
felt ready to swoon. Before he could
inform the guard of his readiness to pay
for a yshole compartment sooner than
have his privacy intruded upon, the
train was off again, and Mr. Chucker
fell to rejecting how he should effect his
change OF carriages at Slough, now that
he was in no fit state to step on TO
platform. The train on which he travel
ed was not bound straight for Windsor,
but for Birmingham, and Mr.. Chucker
would have to change at Slough If he
wished to to dine with his friends that
evening.
Alas! a more urgent difficulty than
that involved in change OF carriages
soon presented itself to him; Tor no
sooner had the train started than the
lady who had just got in began to shiver,
saving that she felt cold all over. He
husband sought to quiet her, but 1T was
all of no use, for she was really ill. At
last the poor man cast look OF despair
at Mr.. Chucker, and said:
"Execuse me for taking great liberty,
sir; but would you be so kind as to lend
nv wife your rug? We started IN a
hurry and forgot to bring one. As 1t IS
not cold day, perhaps you would not
mind ubliping us as far as Slough, where
7 shall be able to buy a rug
"Eh2" grunted Mr.. Chucker, stupe,,
fed. The request completely staggered
him, and he could find no words IN
which to reply.
"Would you kindly lend this lady
YOUR rug?' repeated the gentleman
rather astonished.
"Hoo!" growled Mr.. Chucker, in a
voice like bears. 1t had just occurred
to him that the safest way to get out OF
his difficulties would be to sham being
mad. A Frenchman would have quiet
ly beckoned the gentleman to the other
side of the carriage, and would have ex-
planned the dilemma with a laugh,
But Englshmen are persons full OF NICE
ness, and MIR. Chucker dared not con.
fess TO stranger that he had no trou-
sers on. He repeated "Hoo" two or
three times over, and his strategem sue.
ceeded perfectly, for both his fellow
passengers became convinced that they
we're travelling with lunatic.
The lady began to scream. Her
nerves were SO unstrung that they
conld not stand this extra shot; and
that foolish Mr. Chucker made things
worse by the fixity with which he stared
at her. The gentleman armed himself