Northern Ohio journal. [volume] (Painesville, Ohio) 1872-1896, 1880-06-05
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A LOnS-FGlG want SupplleUs
In these days of labor-saving achieve
ment, invention follows invention in
such quick and continuous succession,
that not only is it difficult to keep pace
with the record, but seemingly the most
startling announcements are received
with as little emotion as would be ex-
cited by the report that another asteroid
had been discovered, or that another
bank cashier had spontaneously depart
ed for Europe in company with a few
hundred thousand dollars saved from
the depositors.
But to the year OF grace 1880 and the
fortunate town of Stratford in Connec-
ticut, belong the honor of presenting
the world with what may be truly called
one of the most important inventions of
the age. This boon TO humanity is
nothing less than a breech-loading pipe,
which can be discharged and reloaded
without relighting.
AS with all radical improvements in
mechanics, we presume that this "pipe
of peace" as it may well be called, is
the result of sudden inspiration after
tedious years spent in loading and I'M
loading, lighting and relighting the
ephemeral and inconstant pipe that
has made life burden to so many
smokers since first the incense of the
weed gentle was waited toward the blue
dome of heaven. A moments reflec-
ton will suggest to the most trivial
what a benefcent invention this un-
known genius has vouchsafed to wait
ing world. Let us think of it little.
Estimating that it requires, say, six
minutes to fill pipe,-and this is un-
der rather than over the time generally
allotted to that service, as we have been
informed by smokers whose reputation
for veracity has never been questioned,
and that the average smoker fills his
pipe twelve times day, the amount of
valuable time spent in this hitherto
necessary operation is alarming to con-
minutes, OF one hour and twelve min
and four minutes of each week, or eight
hours and twenty-four minutes, are re-
quired to replenish the pipe: The time
thus occupied amounts in one wear to
26, 208 minutes, equivalent to eighteen
days, four hours and forty-eight min
utes; in ten years, to 262, 2,0SO minutes,
or just 1872 days, or two days over six
calendar months. In fifty years of
smoking, we find that l ,311, 400 minutes
have been lost to the smoker in prepar-
ing his pipe for action.
In other words, 91O days, or two
years and six calendar months, have
been actually wasted. In one hundred
years-and a century of smoking is no
uncommon thing, if we may believe the
biographies of the several hundred
coachmen that were left to mourn his
loss when the Father of his country de-
parted hence-the figures are utterly
astounding. Pipe-filling has stolen
from the centenarian' fieeting years
1922, 800 minutes! This is equivalent
to 1920 days, OF within four days of five
years!
It will be noticed in the above calcu
lation that no account has been taken
of the time consumed in unloading OF
in lighting. Rejecting from our com
putation those smokers who never I'm.
load pipe-those whose deprave6
taste makes them as content with ashes
as with tobacco-and it is safe to say
that at least half an hour per diem il
given to unloading, striking an average
of all smokers, those of tobacco ane
those of ashes, indiscriminatery. Wher
it comes to the matter of lighting thu
brain actually reels at the immensity oi
the problem set before it for solution
Always excepting the native of tn,
Emerald Isle, whose superior attain
ments in pipe lighting are known ant
recognized wherever winds blow ant
tobacco is smoked, it is safe to say tha
every pipeful of tobacco requires on al
average three matches to begin with
In addition to these, before the pipefu
has become exhausted, it requires, say
eleven other ligbtings of one mattel
each. Now the burning of fourteen
matches to each pipeful would exhaus
at the least seven minutes. Multipl
this by twelve and we have forty-tw
minutes, or nearly a quarter-hour eacl
day spent in the pc-~atless task Q
scratching matches. BI the matter Q
time is not the only question involved
Estimating the smokers in the Unite
States at 100000, the twelve pipe
that each smokes per day destroy
156, 900, 600 matches; in one year, Sc,
$40, 900, 900; in thirty years, 10, ,S20, 90
matches! No wonder our timber land
are fast becoming exhausted! We
stepped in in time to prevent an ute
denudation of our once fOrest-covere
land!
We are not informed as to the detail
of this breech-loading pipe; but tn
mere fact that it hsS been invente
gives such transcendent joy that W
have no room for curiosity as to ho'
the samnauna bonum is brought abou
Sufficient unto the day is the glor
thereof.-Boston Transcript.
| No one should make sport of love
The chap who can't love for all he
! worth when young is the man whol
grocers compel to pay cash down whe
he is old and bald-headed. d.-Dct,ou FIR,
Press.
Chin Chin is q celebrated Chimes
| opaakor