The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-09-30
"Shelnh, I had hoped


passionately rs II barbarian; now he
was met by that which, in moment,
pierced his panoplics of indifference and
escaped his light PHILOSOPHERS.
"On, God" he thought, "if it were
anything anything but this ! love
her wildly, madly, and yet must give up
all hope of ever winning her Can this
be the punishment for my past thought
less, giddy career, If SO, the penalty is
Tar greater than is mcrited by the crime.
But, if she had only given me the small
est ray of hope, how different my future
would have bccn--how bravely ! wolIc.
have struggled to overcome those habits.
which are more the result OF clrcllm-
stances than of inclination. And | would
have succeeded: Tor, with her love as "A
beacon to guide me, | would have found
no task too difficult nor any obstacle III
surmountable But pow-wcll I'll only
live for pleasure, if there is such q thing
for me. Hencctorth ] will worship at
no shrine but that of forgetfulness, know
no time but the present, and have no
friend but self And, as the poet says,
may I've true, and hope II Is,
That death will end this pain,
That Oh the shores NJ another world
will be happy AGAIN.
Ana feel, with the fullest love and PRIDE
The Dldcn, golden JOY,
That came Of trusting III wonderland God,
Ere love was Il broken toy"
And he went forth into the world
again unchanged in outward appear
ance, except that he was colder, prouder
and more cynical than before, And he
plunged INTO all the pleasures and dissi-
pations with rccklcssness that bor-
dered on desperation. Elmer Royston
had always been u great believer if the
words are not too sonorous and too ear
nest to he applied to bis very inconse-
qucnt views upon any and every subject
in the philosophy OF "Lct us live in
the present, aud to this was added a
firm belief in destiny or fate, as he usu-
ally called 1t. He believed that per-
sons life was marked out for them upon
their entrance into this world, and moth
ing could change or deyiatc them from
the course. He was reckless to the ut
most stretch Of recklessncss, all serious
and quiet though his daily manncl
and, though he forced himself by Il
strong will to a subducd and dull languor
in keeping with his former life. the pent-
up passion within would break out occa-
sonally in o sudden burst of anger, a
midnight debauch, OF, worse still, not
nfrequent sitting at the gamin9-table'
He had gained the reputation among
the "boys of his set rs being tho most
dare devil of the lot. His word was la'
among them when it was upon any par
ticular style of dress or question OF
etiquette. He had but to commend a
new kind of wine or smoke new brand
of cigars to make them popular, and had
only to adopt a peculiar style or color OF
cravat to make it the "agopy."
put was he happy-had he found in
this life the happiness without which
there can bel ocontcntment? No, nevel
since that evening when he parted with
Shelah Fortcscuc had lie known Tho
true meaning of that word. Her face
was before him ever; her voice came tc
him even when surrounded by gay com
panions, and when tossing upon his bed
and in vain trying TO compose himsc.I
to sleep; it was there always. He
cursed himself for his folly, and tried t.
believe that she spoke truly when she
said, "The dream is done - but at that
very moment knew that one kind word
from her would still thc troubled waters
Of his soul.
If death should oyertlke you
Ere you hear my last GOd-speod,
And friends should all forsake You
In your darkest hour Of need
You know u never chide you,
Ali, | will Deyer blame
Though other tongues deridc you
I'll think kindly of your name.
When friendly tears cease flowing,
And your requiem has been said
And when the grass is growing
ON your cold and silent bed;
when dcarCst irendsfurget you
The ONES yOW bcld most dear
Declare they never met You,
viii shed for You one tcaf,
We will avail ourselves Of the priyl-
.,ge accorded to authors and ask on
readers to step with MS across the inter,
vening space Of three years, which
elapsed between the parting of SheIali
Fortescue and Elmer Royston and the
present time.
1t is an unprctending little cottage
that stands somewhat back from the
public street, its porch surrounded by
rhnging honcysuckle vines, whose bios
SONS shed delicate aroma upon tho
evening air, reminding Elmer Royston
rs he stood leaning against one OF the
pillars Of the porch, OF that ncvcr-to-be
forgotten evening long ago, when II
seemed to him that all the light and JOY
of his life had been cxtingrlishcd. And
as he slowly reviewed the past anc
thought how little there was in life wortl
living for, it seemed to him that tho
'qtes had been doubly severe in thu!
cl eckcring his life with such sorrc
and then lcnsthcning it out when q.
seemed that that sorrow was unbcarit
bic. Was not an early death, h'
thought, preferable to remaining long il
r career mingled with sorrow and regre
and growing old in disappointment ant
care? Wild, wicked thoughts rose il
his mind-thoughts to which he would
never give tongue-and his face became
hard and stern in the gathering shade:
of the summer twilight, as he mutters
ayes, men have done it often before
why should I not? If 1t were not fol
what the world would say I would no
hesitate; but know only too well wha
the popular verdict is in such cases
have heard IL too often.
"What is it you have heard too often
Elmer?" asked low voice just behint
him, the tones of which were as soft ant
sweet as those of an Holian harp.
He started, and turned hastily TOWARD
the fair girl who had just stepped from
~ - l.. ....I ..,...I, ILa ,,ornh