The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-11-20
LIGHT LINES.

Without the fee, and that he can prove
That he's not in the wrong.
B91 Potato soup is soup herb.
e&s~A lean banana is noticed chiefly be-
cause it is skinny.
BeS" This has been blaukety blank cold
spell for November.
R@-It is bad policy to have the assurance
to burn your own house.
Bss~ rhe rel-heudod mnn who dyes his
hair wants to keep it dark.
BSS@L Lets try and en.Tice the professor. to
lei up on us, weather or no.
Dag- The "sweet sunny south" is that por-
ton in which sugar is raised.
BSg-"rhe gov'nor" had a big run in sew
eral states on the 2ud instant
Bsya Another crisis in Turkey may be
looked for about the 25th instant.
g@~If you discover piece of bark in your
sausage don't call the waiter to inquire for
the rest of the dog.
B41~ Iowa is getting paid back for her
utter recklcssness on election day by old Bo-
reas blowing on her
Ra}~A New York religious body has de-
elsred christianity to be the sole scientific
preventive OF suicide.
Bs5@ John A. Loganis the big injuu of the
republican party in Illinois, now that Grant
has located in New York
gzSn 1t is safer to have train of cars run
on from you at tn, depot than to run off
with you at an embankmsnt.
G&g- Because the comedy company to ap-
pear here next week is called the "Crt9rion"
is no reason you should 60 byit,
8eD~Jesse Pomeroy the boy murdo er,
has made another attompt to escape. He
considers bis present quarters cell.
BsS~ Wood is so high in Galveston that
they are discussing which is the cheapest,
to buy the wood or burn the money.
Gsg A fortune-teller predicted the Stel-
larton coal mine disaster, and now witch
craft has strong hold in Nova Scotia.
D9~ The editor, when he was told that his
article was as clear as mud, promptly replied:
"Well, that covers the ground anyhow"
@"Now that Grant is calling around
among his neighbors in New York he ought
to drop in on some Of the victims of Black
Friday.
l9-Don't swesr before preacher II
thero is anything Of that kind in him let it
come out iir:t. Tho feeling is more com
Portable.
GGy@ Senator Malone, of Virginia, has the
smallest pair of feet in congress, and is the
smallest man e1cepting Alexander Stephens;
ba! stephen, - two.thirds wraps.
D&~A human body with donkey's head
is not such monstrosity as it appeared be-
foro large majority of the late candidates
attempted to explain their positions.
BJ-It only requires S&I, svallow.tail
coat, kid gloves, white neckte and lorgnette
to make an impression at the opera, it makes
no difference if you can't whistle yankee
Doodle"
BS~ Shopping by females has been de-
fined as cheap and amusing mode of find
ing out what is worn and os seeing all the
new materials and styles without buying
anything.
BGg~We have received Communication,
the subject being "Where Hancock was de.
tested, and covering mass of paper. 1t is
declined. If the communication had wound
up by saying"in tie United States" it would
have been accepted. Brevity is the soul OF
politics.
Ra5>A Methodist prescher, who went q
little too vigorously into the late presidential
campaign, was explaining his los of religious
influence before bis conference, when he
perpetrated bull worthy of 81. Pat himself
lie said; Brethren, the muddy pool of poll.
tics was the rock on which split"
BS'The melancholy days-aud nghts-
have come. The church fair season is upon
u.s. when the solitary aud rumnstiye oyster
will float in sea of soup and import its
flavor to the church fair oyster stew. The
"grab'bag" will allure the youthful mind 10
wild and reckless expenditure OF nickels, and
the rafiles for canes, diamond sets, and rose
wood pianos will begue the nimble sixpeuce
and the more sedate shilling. 1t is the sea-
son when it would be well for young men to
cultivate the seclusion of the home circle
and the study of Adam Smiths "Weslth of
Nations" as shown in staying away from
church fairs. 1t is the season for avoiding
The fair sex, who go up and down the land
seeking the contents of those whose pockets
they may devour. 1t is, taking one consid-
Grafton with another, season when the
young mans lot is not happy one.
t@r Robert j. Burdette is announced as
one of the attractions of the Star lecture
course. Burdette has made national repu.
tation by means of his delicious bits of
humor and pathoa contr;hntol a. Al d..