New-York tribune., 1880-03-07
CRIES or THE CRITIC.
From TIE Saturday Repiev.

From The Saturday ReSieD.
He is invited TO literary parties where the intro
Mr. Brown, the author of a Years Travel in Moz-
ambique; Herr Bleichr0der, the inventor of the
Baby S Reading Lamp-Mr. smith. famous Eng
lisn journalist Mr. Smith. Of The Ltergry Critic
Mr.. Jones, of The UpbchcrcrS Rcrier" HIS few
articles have been on light social subjects and his
reviews have been of trashy novels but he ~ asked
to meet Professor Putkamlner. because that gentle
man has been much interested IN an article IN INC
Literary Critic upon Deductions from the Hello
metre upon the Value OF the Solar ParallaX' Tho
professor naturally expects him, one of the con-
tributors, to be well versed IN the subject. cell
ebrated divine attacks him from the opposite side OF
the table on the toue OF the theological articles in
The Literary Critic and an author whose book has
been severely treated IN the pages of that journal
revenges himself by making an evening as disagree
able rs posi- lie for the unOfending cOn ributOr.
Questions as TO whether he has written what hc
he has written, and wien he has written
for The LITERARY critic become familiar to
his ears the conventional inquiries as 10
health or remarks apOn the weather he almost
begins 10 hate the name O' bis iayOritc journal ln-
stead of being sent down to dinner win charming
and beautiful women he Is allotted 10 bnestOck-
ings and champions of women's rights. Before ho
has half finished . sentence people begin 10 laugh,
and when he observes that "a ceran song pretty,
he oYcrnears one person saving to another What
dry remarks he makes! lie Is set upon by num-
bers Of would-be authors who come armed with
novels and travels IN Ms. which they request bim
to read and critlclsc He Is 70 decide whether they
worth publishing, what they would cost to pub
lish or what publisher would accept them. Tho
amateur ed tor Of local archaeological paper begs
hm to write article tor him, aud clergyman
presses hlm TO contribute to the Parish Aaga-
zne.p Il is useless for him 10 urge that such
things are not IN his style. Is not writer winter
all the world Oycrf
A friend whom he can scarcely afford 10 offend
asks him TO persuade the Editor OF TIE Litorory
critic 10 insert of hls articles IN tlat Journal
Other friends poster him to write articles upon this
subject AID upon that, from the theological aspects
OF the nineteenth century TO the breeding oi short
horn cattle. Nor these unlnVited Volunteers
easily put off; they buttonhoe him ~ the Park or
in society. and they coach him III dcsutOry sort
of way on the subjects that they want him a. treat;
they contrast their own orthodox views with the
heterodox opinions of Others and request him par
ticulGi!y 10 dwell upon certain points. Aitcr con-
fusing. without enlightcnmg, him for bali an hour,
they conclude by saving. And then | want yOu 10
work 1t all up. you know, into satIrlcal article
Instead of being invited to country houses Tor
shooting ball parties he is asked 20 meet the
bishop and the author OF a history in twelve vol
umes. Young ladies fly from him In terror, and
children look upon him "a kind OF tutor collect
oIs Tor charities suggest that the objects Tor which
they are working would form suitable channels for
the proceeds OF his literary abOrs ana fabulous re-
ports are spread as 10 the which he realizes by
his pen.
Al tIc request Of some of his acquaintanecs he
reprints his best articles IN the form of
book. Il Is beautifully got mp. on toned paper. and
the cover is a masterpiece of the binder art. lhe
critics who dissect his work with the ysry refine
nent of cruelty He had tried his own hand sew
era times ut reviewing, and now, TO use phrase TO
which he was much addicted in his articles, lie is
cash ;MHcb h RYF PeSaru I1S h1s expense oi pup
dIsgusted and disappointed, he fofesweafs Tor the
future books publishers, authors, ana even I@e
LITERARY Critic Itself.