Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1880-09-24
OLD srOOPENDYKE AGAIN
He Goes for his Patient Wife
Because He Couldn't Find
His Suspenders.

HIS Suspenders.
Brooklyn Easle.l
Now, my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, as he stretched himself and
drew on his pantaloons, you've clean
ed these trousers up first rate. That
is what | call economy. 1t saves
money. If I'd taken them to the
%tailor's it would have cost a couple of
dollars at least, and you've saved just
that amount" and MIR. Spoopendyke
went to his additions and then pulled
IN his shirt.
"Ill clean your coat too, if you
like" said Mrs. Sp%Oopendyke. Leave
it home some day, and I'll take this
spot out Of the sleeve" and Mrs.
Spoopendyke hustled around and
looked delighted with the dea of
pleasing her husband.
where's my suspenders?' asked
Mr.. S~poopendyke, screwing himself
around and looking down his back.
You didn't clean the suspenders
clear out Of sight, did your
They were there when you put on
your pants" said Mrs. S%poopendyke.
II haven't touched them, What did
you do with them
"Oh, yes, certainly. did something
with 'eml What dye 'spose | did with
'em2 Think 1 set EN- up in business
somewhere, don't ye? Got an idea |
gave EN- a vacation to 60 fishing,
haven't YEP Well, | didn't, and more'n
that, [ didn't send EN- away to be ed
ucated for the ministry. Where'sm my
suspenders? Where'd you put them?
S'pose I'm going around holding these
pants up all day? Think | got no
business interests besides holding on
my brooches with both hands. What'd
you do with the measly things2
81 know | didn't take them off the
pants" said Mrs. Spoopeudyke, pull
ing open the bureau drawers and
hustling things around in a vain en-
deavor to find the missing articles.
They must be somewhere"
"Show EN- TO me, them" demanded
Mr.. S~poopendyke; take a stick and
point EN- out to mel OfcOurse they're
here somewhere, only just put your
thumb on emf What have ye done
with emp Can'tye roeollect whether
We made EN- up into hat-bands for the
heather, like you did my dressing
gown, or whether ye planted EN- to
See if they would grow, like you did
my straw hat? Think they walked off
like a croton bug2 S'pose those sus-
penders have taken their girl to a pic
mic? What kind of housekeeping dye
call this, anyhow? Where's my sus-
penders2' howled Mr.. Spoopendyke,
poking around in the soiled clothes
bag. where's those suspenders?' and
he pulled the hooks off the shelf and
rummaged around behind the case
with a broom handle for a divining
rod.
Maybe / can fix your pants so as
you won't need any suspenders to-day,
and III find them before night" sug
gested Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"That's it. You have got it, raved
Mr.. Spoopendyke. How are you
going to fix EN-? Goirg to tie them
on with . shoestring, like you do your
hustle? Going to walk around behind
me all day and hold 'em on2 P'raps
you can pull EN- up and button 'em
around my neckl How dye propose
to fix emp Going to put EN- on me
upside down so if they fall they'll fall
up? If | had your head I'd 60 out to
service as a file. Fix EN-, why don't
YEP Why don't ye fix EN-? These
trousers are getting sick at the
stamaOh, waiting to be fixed p and
Mr.. Spoopendyke shot across the room
and dove under the wardrobe in search
Of the lost snspenders.
"Just let me buckle them tight be-
hind, said Mrs. Spoopendyke. The
strap will hold them"
That's the scheme" shrieked Mr..
ISpoopendyke. Something's got L
hold them. If / was as sharp as you
I'd get rich hiring out for an oyster.
knife. All you want is to have some.
body sit cEoss-legged On you and CONF
home two weeks after you're expected
to be a tailor shop. Going to fine
those dodgasted suspenders between
: now and the next war?
Il know they were on his pant,
when he put them on" unused Mrs
, Spoopendyke, entering upon a it'll
|, inductiye reasoning. "He didn't tax.
, them off, and so they must be Their.
now, and the good woman approache,
: her husband with a smile.
9 oh they're going TO be fixed,
said Mr.. Spoopendyke, with a horribl
} grin. "P'raps you're going to Gu
; button. holes in your hands and fee
and hang over my shoulders, amt ye
e Want me to put EN- on over my hear
like a measly skirt with two tucks an
a founce to it, don't ye2 Maybe yol
G think those %suspenders hurried dow
Q to breakfast SOS TO get the first clacI
4 at the morning paper, don't ye?
7 But Mrs. Spoopendyke made no re
. Spouse. Opening the back of her hus
bands f%uttering shirt, she saw tn
] missing ~suspenders. He had slippeI
them over his shoulders before assum
. ing the muslin, and h d forgotten al
4 about them.
Smart as a whip, amt ye? growlel
I Mr.. Spoopendyke as he drew off bi
e shirt and let his %suspenders down
j IF my head was as clear as yours II
s hire out tor a church bell. You onl
need four lenses and a drop Of raj
water to be a microscope" And MI
! S~poopendyke hurried on his clothe
and scuttled down stairs to get th
morning paper before his wife coul
poto olufoh a. Il