The Portland daily press., 1880-07-22
A Visit to Parliament.
What a Woman Saw from Her Grated
Pen in the Commons Gallery.
lKate Field in the Christian union.l

[Kate Field in the Christian Unionl
Through many windings up innumerable
stairs, women attain the door leading to their
pen. On my last visit, one hour before the
House assembled it was locked, and a dozen wo-
men stood before it ready to make a raid OH
the front seats. At last the imposing usher ap-
peared, unlocked the door, and the scramble
began, but we were stopped in our mad career
by the imperturbable person in black, who, af-
ter comparing our names with those on his
list, allowed us to proceed. By firm but not
riotous display of muscle secured q front
seat. "This is beautiful, is it not?'' SAID an
elderly lady to her companion. "What have
you brought with you?" "Sherry, sandwiches,
and some sal volatile" Every sensible, my
DEAR" added the elderly lady. "Just before
leaving home l had some sausages, because
they are staying" Women speak little in this
pen, the effect of the grating being depressing
No men are allowed, NJ P's excepted, who
dropped in occasionally to see their friends.
The only diversion is tea, OR a chop served in a
retiring-room.
The moment NJ. P.'s enter the House they
remove their hats, bow to the speaker, and
generally cover their heads on sitting down
Whether this very uncivil and unbecoming
custom is due to there being no place for hats
save under the benches where they NAV be
kicked about, or to the assumption that law
makers are superior beings, entitled to wear
their hats in the presence of law ITSELF as the
heads of some certain Spanish grandees re-
main covered in the presence of royalty,
leave to imagination. One thing is certain:
keeping the head constantly covered does not
improve the hair; bald heads are many among
Commoners A generous growth of hair is ex-
ceptional, even young men carefully brushing
their locks over the tops of their heads to CON
ceal the coming skating rink. Some heads re-
semble magnitied billiard balls. have gazed
upon a bald Uranium where the self esteem
ran up to such point that all the hair slid
down hill and took refuge at the base of the
brain.
To distinguish one man from another re-
quires far-sighted vision, and the effect of
several hundred hats is not more imposing
than an equal number of stove-pipes. Glad
stone and John Bright are almost the only
men whose heads are regularly uncovered. 1t
is most interesting to see these two clever men
sitting beside each other with their heads to-
gether looking like venerable owls Gladstone
seems to enjoy sitting on the middle of
his back, and John Bright apparently derives
comfort from crossing first one leg and then
the other This sort of thing proves that even
great men are human. Lord Harrington will
wear his hat, and all we learn from our pen is
that he is tall and slight, and Saxon in color
ing.
The House assemblies at $40 P. NJ. First the
doors fly open; then the speaker is an
nounced. The usher of the Black rod, bearing
the mace, bows to the speaker, who is arrayed
in long black gown and flowing wig. He is
followed by the chaplain and another in wig
and gown. The speaker mounts his throne;
the black rod lays the mace "a gold crown
poised on red velvet pole long enough to
ha dle) across the lower end of the table M.
P.'s OF punctual turn of mind-their name is
not legion-suddenly appear. and the chaplain
reads the prayers of the day. We in the deer
pen hear nothing.
After the chaplain has galloped through his
duty he exits Backward many of the M. P.'s
rush out as though they had just remembered
they ought to be somewhere else, and business
begins. clerk in wig and gown, standing at
the head OF the table, reads about petitions
and other matters in so mumbling a voice that
L can't hear. M. P.'s don't wish to- for thew
jump up and apparently say things to them
selves, for not word reaches us women. 1t is
tradition in the provinces that members are
glued to their seats from $40 p. m. until Z
o'clock, when they dash home, embrace their
wives, if they have any, swallow chop, and
return to immediate themselves on the altar OF
their country until 3 or o'clock IN the morn
ing. Poor provinces! About 80 members do
the work, and no member. active or otherwise,
remains in the House if he can help it. You
Senators and Representatives when not busy
in committees are found in their seats but our
system is different. You put desks and papers
and pens, and ink, and books of reference be-
fore your legislators and tell themto write their
letters, ETC., with one eye and both ears on the
speakers England furnishes her legislators
with nothing but hard benches, and when they
want to write or improve their minds, they re-
tire to the library or elsewhere. don't blame
M. P.'s for retreating, particularly in warm
weather, when they can sit on a charming ter
race overlooking the Thames, and with CT
gar in one hand and a bottle of soda in the 9TH
er, may gaze at the moon, Westminster bridge
and st. Thomas Hospital, discussing British
interests and the last scandal, while gentle
zephyr kisses their manly brows. What being
in his senses would not prefer this to the stuffy
atmosph ire and prosy talk of the House?
When NJ. P.'s are really wanted a bell warns
them, and in five minutes they are all in theil
seats ready for adivision. Parliamentary dis
turbances generally occur before dinner
or several hours after, when the inner man
cries aloud for supper. 1t is useless to deny
that we are creatures of appetite and that
brains are an affair of digestions. AS for my.
self. have sat in this deer-pe for ten hours
at time, hoping to be startled by burst Of
eloquence. / have sat in vain. Hereafter
shall take my house of Commons the next
morning for breakfast, reportorially.