The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-05-06
ALL SORTS,
In at tho dea&h-A bullet.

IN 0t tho 0oo&0-A OQQ9Gs
ADVICE topersons thinking Of divorces
Never disrpair.
WY IL D like ad1unkard'sife7 Be-
cause it ends bad.
NEARLY every man gets his rights at
last-his funeral rites.
A GOOD word for bad ono IL worth
much and costs little.
TIE center Of gr.vity-The lowest
button on QuakeF's vee&.
Cars have no d1sd political belief.
They're usually on the fence.
SoxH ono wants to know how many
feet there are in the depth OF despair.
A CARPENTER is about tho only man
who is mad when he can't ind his level
LET nature give young man cheek,
and Ill other things viii be added unto
him.
THIS is very gentle world If you do
not rub itr back the vrcng way Of tho
fur. ..
In this country it was Powhattan
who originated the idea Of getting up
club.
KITE tails will feel lost when tole-
graph wires have been put under
ground.
The distance from Panama to Aspin-
wall by water is 10000 miles; by land
it is ~ miles.
The first muncai instrument built
on+he plan of m organ, with pipes and
tubes, was constructed in 157.
II you want eggs in winter never
keep old hens. When = hon is 8 years
old sell her for spring chicken.
A scHooL-TEAcHER says that children
should never be stupidity joked at when
they blunder in answering question.
STAaNANr and impure water which
COWS drink while ut pasture il one of
the most prominent causes Of bad odoe
in milk.
NEVER touch lettuce with knife, g.
it impairs the flavor and destroys the
crispness Of the leaf; always tear it apart
with the fingers.
TIE Frenchman who attended fox
hunt was asked where tho meet came
of. Having been thrown, he replied
thatit Came off his hands and knees.
Soup LA CHANTnLY.-Make puree
OF green peas, or dried peas, toast bread
cut into small pieces, and then fry.
When cooked pour into soup and
serve.
A WRITER in the Garden says that il
pott;ng soil is placed for . day or two
in the hen-yard every particle of it il
dug over, and all grubs and eggs of in
sects are picked out.
FoR sleeplessness a high London au-
thority recommends, instead of stimu.
lants, q breakfast cup of hot beef tea made
from half teaspoonful of Leibig's e.
tract. It allays brain excitement.
A YOUNG Lady who didn't admire the
custom in vogue among her sisters of
writing letter and then cross-w1iting
it to ELIGIBILITY, said she would prefer
her epistles without IN overskirt."
Soup A LA CoNDE.-Boil some red
beans, season with salt, and add two or
three onions. Pass al through COL
endar, and butter to taste, and before
serving add small pieces Of fried toast.
The ancient Egyptians were the first
to embalm the dead. They believed
that the souls of the dead, after many
thousand years, would reinhabit their
bodies if they were preserved entire.
Some Of the bodies buried 5000 years
ago are perfect to this day.
ARTIFICIAL fertilizers add to the soil
certain elements in . condition in which
they are immediately active, and force
a strong, vigorous, early growth, and
SO enable the plants to push out large
number of feeding roots, which find
out and appropriate the manure later,
when it is in the best condition TO,
plant food.
A LARGE elm tree stood on the spot
where q man ut Lewiston, n. Y, de-
cided to build residence. He did not
cut it down, but built around it, and the
odd sight is presented of . tree-top
growing out of the roof of handsome
brick house.
The Boston newspapers tell o. 4
stsge-struck woman who got = divorce
from her husband in order to become
an actress, failed dismally behind the
footlights, returned to her home, and
begged to be made wife again, which
was done by = remarriage.
TIE following message, intended to
break bad news gently, was sent to the
widow Of q man who had Just been
killed by q railroad accident: Dear
Madam-Your husband il unavoidably
detained for the present. Tomorrow
an undertaken viii call upon you vith
full particulars"
INvAL1D-~I've had q wretched night.
Mrs. Wobbles." Nurse- -"Dear, dear
me, sirl thought you slep' most
comfortable!" Invalid with = groan-
"Oh, Mrs. Wobbles, do use the 3D.
verb" Nurse" Yes, sir; I'll zee about
it directly, sir, but puzzled I reely
don't think there's one in the 'ouse,
sirl"
ACCORDING to experiments of tho On
tario (Canada) School of Agriculture,
by adding $40 worth of bone dust to
farm-yard manure the cropof wheat was
increased $7.20 per acre. By adding
nitrate of soda the value of the crop
vas increased $40. Lucerne is deemed
profitable, having . season from April
to October.
A LITERARY curiosity has just been
published in Amsterdam. Il consists
of three short stories, possessing the
peculiarly that in each Of them only
one vowel is employed-in tho first q,
in the second and in tho third O, &C.
cording to which the stories arc entitled,
"A-Saga," ~E-Legende," ~O.Sprook." It
is sald this could be accomplished in
no other language.
1T is pointed out that, in these bad
times, . hint how to provide most &C.
ceptable and inexpensive present for
the children may not be u1welcome.
It was the practice of IN eminent army
surgeon to lock up hin olive branch .
week before tho anniversary Of his
birthday. On that day he solemnly
opened his dungeon and released him,
saying: "The most valuable boon
which man can enjoy il ibestyi Take
it, my son, as welcome present from