Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1880-07-15

number should be limited IN accordance |
with the quantity of dinner that can be
served Thirteen at tabl, IS unlucky when |
there is dinner enough Il only ten.-Neao
Orleans Picaynae.
The average person speaks about one |
hundred and twenty words minute. |
This estimate is considerably short of that |
required when the speaker has trunklid |
fall on his head while he is hunting for a
Queen.
There was young man Of st. Wenz's
Who went out 10 gather the census;
lie asked d woman her age,
When she flew into riige
And kicked linn over seventeen fences.
Gentlewomen of uncertain age will be
pleased to learn that it is not fashionable
just now in England to be too young
Sweet IL and all that kind of thing have
gone out The fashionable age is author
itatively laid down at from "a to 30 years.
"How thin is Sara Rerntardt, pa,
That shadow of Bhade?"
my boy, she's Just about us thin
As picnic Lemonade"
We admire cheek but when a paper
comes to us with pencil-marked
joke which was originally copied from the
cuneiform writings of an Assyrian ruin,
then do we cry with CAIN "This is
greater than we can hear !"-B0st0R
Transcript.
There was young lady OF Mapping,
Who fell IN Il trance while out shopping,
So they tckled her nose,
With bunch of black sloes.
When she sneeZed nineteen times without stop
ping.
Proprtety-Light.m minded young thing
in bathing suit Surely, aunt Margaret,
you're not going to wear your spectacles
in the wster?" Aunt nj. : Indeed / am.
Nothing shall induce me to take off another
thing. g.-Har0aad Lampoon.
My love aud for kisses played
She would keep stakes-I was content,
But when won she would be paid;
This made me ask her what she meant.
Pray since see," qnoth she. 'your wrangling
Take your own kisses; give me mine again.
William Sfrode, 1904.
Our Ben has assumed the role of the
lofty dreamer. He tells the people of Los
Angeles that he 'looks forward to the
time when the stars and stripes will float
80 far north that their beauty shall be mis-
taken for the borealis, and so far south
that the isthmus of Panama shall make
the southern boundary. ."--Boston Herald.
Senior-"Yes, THE Ethics of Modern
Heteredoxy is good subject for your
| graduation speech. How to drive a
Horse-car' would be more sensible. though,
and probably quite as useful to the rest of
the boys after they get through applying
for Jobs as editors of leading daily news
papers."-N. Y World.
A Georgia man rugged himself up. as a
bear TO have some fun and he got it, for
the inhabitants turned out with dogs and
| a.. fn,,. .atC,, .trxy
before he could make them believe that he
wasn't bear. And then they talked of
tarring and feathering him for alarming
the women folks of the neighborhood, and
fiually gave him three days TO leave the
county. He won't play bear any more.
"Come while the dew on the meadow gtters,
COIe where the starlight smiles Oh the lake"
"Not mnch," she said, "fUr dOh't like bltters,
Aud the dew aud miasma compel me In take
Quinine and whisky, dOg-fcnnel tea,
Whisky and qnassia qnantum SUI,
DogwuOd and whisky, whisky free.
Qninne straight and al such stni."
A Danbury man tells good story of hie
aunt, who is n model housekeeptr and a
scrupulous stickltr for good table. The
clergyman called near the dinner houi
and was pressed to stay to the meal. Al
the table there was good supply of well
prrpar, d food, but the lady +, 1t compelled
to make many apologies for imaginary
deficiencies IL the grace the clergyman
asked our Heavenly Father to "bless the
FRUGAL meal" This mad, the lady very
mad - DaAbury Mems.
The London W,rM says that az trans
lator of ballads Lougfellow has perhsp,
never been surpassed. lie is essential,
an American poet, but "the charm o.
purity and truth, the worth of patriotism
the grandeur of PATIENCE the beauty o.
woman's enduring love, the nobilit,
which, in his Muse, is seen to underli,
every day scenes and common occupations
ALI stamp him as the poet of the Eng
lish common people, who, though he wa
not born on this side of the Atlantic, ye
belongs to all that is best and greatest /,
the English-speaking race" --,.=
Sarah Bernhardt is repoAted as saying
r "Yes, / have creditors, for woman can
, for the life of her live on the So 600
year given by the French Comedy;
I woman can't get on if she has not Sl7 90
] year. and then she must go to marke
/ herself and be her own cook and chamber
maid and be content not to put by ths
. for old age We actresses have Ii har
S time of 1t, and l. for one, am downright
8 tired of the trade. just look at the oper
songsiresses. There is not one of theI
= who does not clear her $40, 900 a yea
a without working half as hard as we poo
: play actresses"
A clergyman in Pittsburg lately marie
:, lady with whom he received the substar
u tial dowry Of $1,000 and fair prospec
for more. Soon afterwards while occupy
ing the pulpit, he gave out a hymn, rea
the first four stanzas and was reading th
n fifth,
J, Forever LET my grateful heart
= His boundless grace ADORE"
u when he hesitated and exclaimed, "Ahem
The choir will omit the fifth verse;" an
+ sat down. The congregation, attracted b
his apparent confusion, read the followir
lines, -"..
(which gives ten thousand blessings now
l. And bids me hope for more"
IL The charge of the Tight Brigade,
n how the Sophomores stole the Freshmen
i beer:
: Bottles to the right of them,
Bottles TO the left of them,
J. Bottles behind them,
u Emptied and sundered.
a. Returning with roar and YELL
Down many sophomore fell,
Those who had drank so well
Drank of the ipecac.
IN Back from the freshmen's cell.
~ Ali that was left of them,
" Left of haf-hundred.
80 -James A. Garfield in Williams College QUO
Or teriy, 1856.
1t Aunty (Reading); "There is 80 lit
I'd room in the house that members will ha
Us to sit on each others knees!" Nephew
as "Oh, criokey! Won't the women try to 4
infn PArliamenL nnwIn- Eunnn HaLkS