The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-02-05
zEpH PARKER'S STRATAGEM.

"Sleepy, baby-faced set o people
Air they! Baby-faced enough, you bet /;
but / tell you, Stree, that | believe
they're 'beout born with all their eye
teeth cut in theia celestial jaws; and
yew've got to get up airly, sir, if you
want to take in ChineeW
The speaker was hard.faced, hollow.
jawed gentleman, in glossy black suit,
which fitted him very badly, and the
remark was made in the smoking-room
of the Continental" There he was
to be seen daily, and he was supposed
to have "given the speckylaters fits in
ile;" in other words, he was believed
to have made fortune In petroleum.
At all events, he had plenty of money,
and was very generous in the spending
Of it.
The conversation had turned on the
vexed Chinese question, and he struck
into the discussion.
al reck'lect," he said, "there was
Zeph Parker. He was long O me and
a few more up to Nevada, JUS 'beout
the time of the silver craze. The boys
had been washing for gold; honest-like,
meow gittin' it out O pockets, meow
outer the stream; and when done they'd
with bit O wash out, and gone off to
another claim, Mister Washee Washee
Chinee would come and 60 over the dirt
after them and be satisfied with what
he got. Then comes the silver craze.
All O. us goes off and loses all we'd made
in gold, gifts no silver, and comes back
disappointed to try after the gold again.
"Guess we might try and try again,
but no gold could we get; and all 'beout
us was them smooth-faced, pig-tailed
Cinnamon, gettin' on prosperous and
contended.
"'I tell yew,' said Zeph, . shall go
and murder one O. them smilin' teapots,
Icant stand it much longerp
"This here was in our bit of tent,
when we was trying TO make ourselves
happy, playin' poker on credit and
keepin' no account.
"' What for?' l sez,
wWhat for? cries Zeph. Dew
yew think that |, an enlightened sitter
zen of free country am gwine to set
down and be robbed O my mess O golden
pottage by pack O smilin', washer
women.faced, opium-smokin' celestial
Jacobs2 No, Stree, this dogs gwine to
bite!'
"'But I don't kinder see what this
dogs gwine to bite fur | sez. Teapot
amt done nuthin to YOU
Z" Mateys,' sez Zeph,' gettin' on the
barrel as had been his seat, things has
come to a purity pass with us, haven't
they?
"'Right. old hoss. sez some one.
hammerin' the chest lid as had been our
table.
"'Haz any man here got any to-
baccop sez zeph.
"'Nop
"Haz any man here got any old
bourbon whisky%
"'Non
go 'Haz any man got any dust|
WNnp
"Any flour, or pork, or boots, OF
new blankets"
"'No, no, no, no!
WThen them Chinese haz,' continued
Zeph; and what l sez is this--as it is a
sin and shame to let pack of heath
enish curses like them teapOts, o never
goes to churches nor listens to par
sons
"I say, Zeph.' sez some one, when
did you 60 to meetin' lastT =,
" Never you mind sez Zeph, and
don't you interrupt II man as wants to
give you suthin' to eat. A set tof cussesl
| sez as never goes 10 meetin', and
b'lieves in nOthin' but joss-houses. SAY,
it's sin to let 'em be gittin' fat on our
land, wnlle we're as tnln and starved
lOokin' as-as-as--'
"As ole Zeph Parker himself sea
Tom Paggins. :,
"'WelI, ez thin ez l am, if you like,
sez Zeph.
"'This is all very purity sez, but
we can't go and take claim from the
teapots, Zeph; nor we can't rush 'em
and annex the dust and nuggets they've
washed out
"No,' said Zeph, 'winkin' one eye.
'but we kin strategise 'em:
H0WT SEE. ION klnuci eco io
They're too deep to be done
"Yahp sez Zeph, they're bout e2
deep ez twO-cent plate. Give me the
means and Pll sell the lot and put a
good pockettul o. dollars or dust IN
every mans pOcket-six O. usp
"iBut what means dyer wantr | sez
"'One handful O. dust sez Ieph.
"And where are we to get itp SEE
Tom Paggins.
"This how sez Zeph. Morrow
mornin' every man hyars to 60 round
the camp and cadge. Tell the boys
we're hard M, but we got q good thing
on. They'll subscribe little all reourd.
Yew see if they don't