The Russellville Democrat., 1880-02-26
VOL. VI.
THE WAYS OF THE WORLD.


 this winter
 MUSICIANS are judged from the accom-
 panimcnt they keep.
 sprFdEoN's doctors say he must not
 nreach for six months.
 RRrsrow has been socially lionized in
 Boston, and he grows fat.
 TIE admission card that tho student cats bv "going on in the chorus" must be a supe ticket.
 PAWN your thermometer.-Boston Post Now who wants 10 "put a thermometer upn such a winter as this2
 AK Albany man was recently killed in trying to swallow piece of raw pork. One hog lilled by another.
 aWuAT is home without wite?" asks inc yoaters Gaadtc Well, it is a pretty quiet place for some fellows.
 THE biggest mustache on record is the ane Michael Angelo cut on the statue of Moses. It weighs a ton and half
 IT is not safe to criticise a singers up- Der reujster. She may become heated, which will act as q damper upon you, IT is said that the Prussian school sys- tenn amounts 10 no more than teaching each social grade to hate the grade above.
 AN ex-alderlnan in Syracuse knew what he was about when he married his cook. In three weeks she fell heir to S20,000.
 THE greatest compliment you can pay man is to call him an advanced think CT" It beats the title General" all out of sight.
 A NEW YORK paper speaks of "the stern eve of Washington" We did not know before that George was famous for his hindsight,
 COLLARS of Russian sable are very nobby" It is 10 be hoped that knobs in a collar are not so uncomfortable as Q "saw-edge.'
 TIE Lord Mayor of London gives a bond ol $50, GOO for the safety of the off the safety of the plate.
 THE New York Sun ventures the opin- ion that in thirty years from now every cat will be born deaf. This Is much safer than dabbling in politics.
 CHARGE profit and loss with $75," is what Philadelphia street ear drivers say when they run over boy. That's the figure usually given in settlement, at any rate
 UTICA man wears folded newspa- per as chest protector, and he claims that 1t beats any other sort yet invented. There's good deal of heat in some news papers.
 IT is said that Masonic apron has been found beneath Cleopatra's needle. So it seems she did wear some clothes, the painters to the contrary notwith- standing.
 "YoU promised to pay that bill yester- day" said an angry creditor to deb.or. "Yes," calmly replied the other, but to err is human, to forget divine, and l forgot it."
 AFTER q Western jury had stood out for ninety-six hours the Judge got verdict out of them in two minutes by sending them word that circus had come to town.
 JUDGE HARRIS, of Texas, said if he couldn't take care of his money no ex- press company could, and he started home with S2,400, and reached there with only 8 broken head, TIE Spirit of he Times complains that this country is away behind all others in the matter of collecting and preserv- ing sporting statistics. If this be true, this Is just the country to live in. IT has been ascertained that soft. low muslc will draw Holsters to the shore and make clams feel dreadful uneasy in their sandy beds. Take your mouth organ down to the lonely beach and play.
 JOHN ToMPKINs, reduced from wealth to poverty at Newport, R, l., sat down in a chair with the intention of staying there until he starvedto death. He had been without food seven days when dis covered.
 AZuLU cannot marry a. girl until he has whipped all her brothers and given her father m upset, in addition, if de- handed. There is a great scratching around in Zululand to find only child ren and orphans,
 AN English coachman was asked to tic up dog, and he resigned on the ground that it was the buffers duty. The butler declined and resigned. and, after six servants had left, the Earl tied up the dog himself. "
 4 REALLY Lively Neighborhood- Landlord prospective tenant) Lone- lyl Yer wife feel kinder lonesome here so far from neighbors? Why man, this is right on tie road to the cemetery There's funerals passin' here every day O yer lilep
 MR. EDWIN ARNOLD, the author of the Light of Asia" is dangerously ill and has been forced to stop work and go to Egypt. His trouble is that of John Stu art Mill-the growth of e large encysted tumor on the forehead. "WHY am I made q sandwich" said young Snobson plaintiyely, as a lady sat down either side of him in a horse-car Because we are better bred than you are," said one of the damsels sweetly, and Snobson mustard courage enough to squeeze out to the platform.
 Southern lee Manufacture.
 Few people have a correct notion of the extent to which artificial ice is being manufactured in the South. The success