Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-06-18
Third. Freedom from curios

| ucISuOOASs SCdICOiJ III ucT OWn, SIG
never inquiries concerning the where
abouts or actions of her husband,
being perfectly assured that, where.
ever he may be, and however ap-
pearances at the time may seem to
tell against him, lie is ever acting
with view to the welfare of the
domestic nest. On the contrary,
what do I find to be tho truth in re-
gard to yourself? Not q rooster
raises his voice within half a mile of
the yarde but you are able to name
him; not hen lays an egg, but you
begin to cackle."
Mrs. Biddy (meekly.) "Pre laid
an egg! cut, cut, cut, cut-a-a-a. No,
l mean-yes, sir, we've laid an egg"
o. G. Esq. with solemn ANNA
tion.) Ku've laid an egg? Aud
pray where is the thing?' Walks
briskly to the nest and takes a mi
croscopic view of the object.)
Biddy. "Cut, cut-I mean, will
it do, sir?'
o. G. Esq. "Humph-well, yes,
very fair, considering; though. now
look more closely, I preceive it is
not precisely shaped; too short,
madam, quite too short; not we'll
finished off, by any means. And
what do you mean, madam, by hav-
ing the thing so much larger at one
end than the other? Where, 1 ask,
is your idea of symmetry? Zounds,
madam, if this is the best you can
do in that department, I shall lay
the next myselfp
Mrs. Biddy with her claw in her
eye). "Please couldn't help it. I
didn't mean TO-"
0. G. Esq. (mollifed.) "Well,
well, don't fret your eizzard! You're
no chicken, madam, to be so sensi-
tive about tribe; only remember
my advice in future, and recolect
that thescrowning virtue of henhood
is disinterestedness."
Mrs. Biddy (msekly). " Have a
worm, dear ?"
o. G. Esq. (solemnly). ct will"
SCENE THIRD.
Mrs. Biddy has been setting for
three weeks. o. G. Esq. appears
i'll the distance, parting from one of
his numerous female friends; the
tones of his voice fall family on Mrs.
Biddy's ear.
o. G. Esq. "And now, sweetest
of hens, farewell. and may all the
stars of heaven, and all the saints of
the barnyard, meet to register the
day when your smile dawnel upon
my weary life, and made me the
happiest of roosters. FAREWELL!
.. G. wends his way homeward.
"Good evening, Jack; monstrous
fine hen, that. just been parting
from her. Oh mayby you did not no
tice h:r points. Quite fond of me,
too, l assure you. Still in tears,
you will observe-ahem! Cock-a-
doodle-do!'
0. G. reaches the domestic nest.
MIS-. Biddy (feebly.) "Oh, I'm
so glad to have somebody to speak
to. l haven't stepped Off the nest,
nor seen a creature since sunrise.
How do you do, my dear? Any
thing new going on in the yard p
A long pause. 0. G. appears to
be suddenly overwhelmed with de-
preston and silent gloom.
Mrs. Biddy. What is the mat
ter, sir?"
o. G. Tin a terrible voice, and
walking like Othello) Matter!
Madam, behold" Inserts his bill
under his left wing and produces
ROSTERS tail feather. "Do you
recognize that, madam? Do you &C.
knowledge an acquaintance with the
chicken-heart caitiff who dropped
it? Are you aware that l found it
within three feet OF the domestic
nest ?"
Mrs. Biddy Qanguidly). "Did
you? | didn't notice it,"
O. G. Peace, hen, and listen,
while in calm but decisive terms l
strive to impress upon your mind
! the enormity of your conduct. Has
it not been decided, l ask you calm
ly, madam, has it not been the
opinion of roosterkind for ages, and
is it not, therefore, undeniable, that
(after disinterestedness) the one
thing needful to the female character
is excessive modesty. A true hen is
so strictly and severely virtuous that
the slightest attempt at intimacy
from one of an opposite sex, though
disguised beneath the specious mask
of friendship, will excite in her
breast the EXTREMIST aversion and
horror. On the contrary; what do l
find to be the case in regard to
yourself? Only yesterday, on re-
turning from q little party, 1 beheld
you in animated conversation with
my brother. No! sooner would l
sacrifice at once the domestic nest,
and fling the lifeless body-oh! oh.
misery! violence! revengei' Frailty,
thy name is hen.'