, 1880-08-01
IDEALS AND INTIMATES.
'11S Distance that Lends Enchnntment
to the Ficw-Famllfarity Breeds Com

| AAC Which UEEl1llES llltlulACleS Allt
maintains reserve, which prefers the full
dress Of artificial courtesy to the dressing
gown and slippers Of home abandon il ii
some respects wise, If in others to be re
GREETED. 1t IS wise in its conservation of tht
ideal and its avoidance Of personal annoy
ance by too close contact; it is to be re
gretted, in that it prevents real knowledge O.
the true character and substitutes shadow!
and simulacra for living men and women
Those whose sympathies are benevolen
and whose imagination is keen, possess
perfection In the friends whom they hail
know and wholly like. They see only the
beautiful side Of the character, touch only
the velvet, trace out the fine pattern Of the
embroidery; they know nothing of those
thousand small defects, those trays. and tat
tiers, and tarnished edges which degrade the
work when seen near ut hand, and which de-
stroy its harmony. They make their ideal
more from what they believe than what they
see, and they never come near enough to
verify their fancy and find Of what poor mate
rial that fine looking alnalgam is made,-how
| the gold Is more than half alloy, and the
dazzling jewels on the breast-plate bat cum
ming cubes Of paste artfully cut out and
deNterously set So far they are to be con-
/ graduated. The fancy is a fact the same as
anything else belonging to man; and what
tile imagination creates remains possession
| for all time If Ithuriel plays no tricks with
] that disseminating spear OF his, and the
doors Of the Palace OF Truth are not swung
open: Bnt sometimes M the Whole thing col
| prove fatal to the velvet that the gold
1ou meet falr-faced woman with voice
as sweet rs music and as soft rs cream;
spin spine that lends itself to nothing but grace
tui curves and the very poetry of flexibility;
manner TINT is simply perfection III its
happy union of caressing tenderness with
personal r.a;nt tdisntyIqf sympathy for you with
prelne, your absolute, your perfect woman,
the hope of your life in the flesh; your dream
started into being to be weighed and meas
ured,-to be tested by the senses and APP
known, and loved the more the better it is
known. Come near to her as friend, If
you are woman or she be marrieG,-marry
her yourself II she be single and you are a
Of familiarity and the dressing gown and
slippers of home, of what real material your
idol is made and what is her intrinsic value.
she may stand the test,-solne do. but at the
hulnan,-,or she may fall 10 pieces like
wooden doll glued at the joints and not war
ranted to wash. You find the sweet voice to
ne due only to 2 happy arrangement Of the
the rust Of .uncharitable surlnise and the
venom Of jealous SANDER; You find the grace
to be simply mechanical and the caressing
manner the result OF training and the love Of |
natural, and the coldness to her husband, ller |
children, her family, and old friends exactly |
balances her accent Of tenderness to her new |
acquathtances as her. indifference to love |
ind her, In a word, Beautiful only to look at
aud when full dressed; while in the familiar
intimacy Of home she is nowhere in the cal
endar Of perfected saints and realized idols.
- 5he 1e marriage Of yon4er couple is happy. is
It is pleasant to believe In the happiness of
others, whether 1t be rs a state in harmony
with our own, or one that supplements and
supplies the wants Of our own. On the out
side Of things not single flaw is to be seen.
lie is all attention, she all devotion; and their
pretty little badinage is but another proof Of
uaeir oneness and perfect harmony. This is
their public garb; the satin and brocade OF
what they see as II 1t was the real thing, to be
never changed for crumpled cotton or soiled
fnstian. III the dressing-gown and slippers
2f e., home we find something quite different.
she takes off her train. lie ceases 10 be
attentive, she forgets her devotion; and the
wang lv3sg ! OF larring strings and broken. chords
sound Sc, well in public. She finds him
mean, uninterestng; he holds |
her as little better than fod5, Extravaganza,
lncollsequent, unloyable. The children stand
link; and they quarrel over their education |
as they quarrel over the weekly bills and the
favored guests. But they have the sense to
oek : up the skeleton when the world enters
never take it abroad to dance in the sight Of
he mocking multitude It Is hidden Within !
ne t @ 1olds Of the familiar dresslng,gown, and
he slipshod slippers Kick it into view; but it
he truth by admission behind the domestic
'ell, aud most would rather have had their s
deal left untouched than have come upon
his desolating and dsenchanting reality. 1
It is this consciousness that too close con-
act. too complete knowledge, will destroy
he ideal conception and reduce DUR hero to
Mann1kln anu our, saint to columbine,
which hold folk as,lnder from friendship,
uaintaneeship. How difficult it is to live 9
ogether, to travel together, when not bound 5
u the bonds Of personal love, as between !,
aen and women, all the world knows and x
ear rs to see what is paint and what flesh a
nd blood this difficulty obtains. There is il
ethlng n the mere fact Of domestic life, or s.
+ travelling conpanionship, which. trans q
showing this reality, it destroys the ideal 9,
nd the respect and love Of which that ideal y
'as tne ,s.;4S origin We n'ust surround all 81
'o4ld keep our faith and reverence intact. n
ars,- placid and unconscious. with i
lana ian 3 bending over hiln-what q lovely ?
nderness Of boyish tsu beauty am and womaniy woin +
vel But Endgmion with his mouth open y
ID ID snoring, IN close, shut:up room, with Il
e curtains drawn; and Diana, with her p
le reality puts out the ideal, as farthing "
lShllght makes the poetic glow-worm moth hs