The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-11-20
THE DISGUISED LOVER.

My friend Tom hns natural affectio
| for dirt, or rather. dirt has natural q
! lection for Tom. It is to him what gol
| was to Midas: whatever he touches turn
to dirt. No matter how white the cravai
no matter how immaculate the vest, th
moment that it comes within the spher
of Toms influence its whiteness is gone
it is immaculate no longer. Dogs, sweep
and lamplighters never pass him withou
leaving upon his dress unequivoca
marks of their presence. Once, an,
only once, saw him in the street with
out encountering the wheels of q carriage
opened my mouth to congratulate him
and before could utter one word it wa
filled with mud. The careless blockheat
lay at my feet, full length, in the gutter
At my earnest solicitation he once pur
chased suit of precisely mud color. I
was capital idea. He crossed the stree
three times; he walked half mile, ane
returned, in appearance, at least
unscathed. True, he was heartily
welcomed by the affectiona4e ca
resses of dog that had been enjoying
the coolness Of o neighboring horse-pond
true he received shower bath from the
wheels of an omnibus. But to plaster
mud on Toms new coat was
'.to gid refined gold-to paint the
lily. s.Tom will Be a neat man
yet, said, as witnessed the success
of any plan.
In about half an hour. it was my fate
to meet gentleman with seven stripes
of green paint on his baek-it was my
friend Tom; he had been leaning against
some newly painted window blinds.
Having no other amusement, one
morning I strolled over to Tom 5 rooms.
AS 7 ascended the stairs, I heard his
voice in very decided tone. But it
must be done, and there is an end to it. "
Really" was the reply, anything
within the limits of possibility, but to
make coat in ten hours-I will promise
anything in the world. but really fear /
shall be unable to perform"
IF double your price would be any
Certainly, sir, if you insist upon it;
certainly. / viii put every man in my
shop upon it; it shall be done in time.
Good morning, sir"
The door opened, and fellow with
shears and measures passed out. What
could Tom be doing with tailor?
ssJust the man ] wanted to see," he
exclaimed 81 require your advice upon
very important affair; which of these
cravats do you think most becoming?"
and he spread before me some half dozen,
of every hue and fashion.
"Now, what in the name OF all that is
wonderful does this mean, Tom? A fancy
ball, is it? You have chosen an excellent
disguise; your nearest friends will never
know you. But you cannot support the
character; if you had taken that of a
chimney sweep, now; but that would
have been too natural. Tell me truly,
Tom, what does all this mean?"
why, the fact is, Frank, passing a
hand through his hair, redolent of ma
CAESAR, 81 have concluded think I
shall be little more neat in future.
You, doubtless, remember the good ad
vice you gave me some time since; it has
had an excellent effect, assure YOU"
Now it SO happened that of all the
good advice + had ever given Tom, this
was the very first instance in which he had
seen fit to follow it. So I could not at
tribute the metamorphosis of my friend
to my eloquence. Who but a woman
ever changed sloven to fop?
"Pray, where are you going this even
ing?s I continued, that you must have
new coat SO suddenly"
"Going? Nowhere in particular. |
had, indeed, some idea OF calling on my
old friend, Mr.. Murray; no harm in that,
I hope"
"Your old friend, Mr.. Murray, and
his young niece, Miss Julia, has no share
in your visit, I suppose? Iheard that she
arrived in town last night"
.sNow, upon my word, Frank, you
mistake me entirely. did not know that
she was in town last night-when /
that is. when II did not know any
thing about it.
"And so you were there last night,
tool Really, this is getting along
bravely."
"Why, the fact is, Frank, you must
know everything ! called last evening
to see Murry on some business about
that real estate, you know. | had no
more idea of meeting woman than n
boa constrictor-my beard was three
days old, my collar ditto-and the rest
of my dress in excellent keeping. I be-
came engaged in conversation, and some
how or other forgot forgot all about
the real estate"
"And SO you are going again tonight
and that is the secret of your new
coat?''
"Bv no means; wanted new coat,
and tailors are always SO long, You know.
Do YOU think blue will become me:
Blue is her fayorite-that isl men
blue
.'Oh, go on don't stammer-blue is
her favorite color, is it 2"
s'The fact is, Frank-take another
glass of this wine-the fact is--good
wine, isn't it? been two voyages to the
Indies-the fact is, suppose rather
fancy-I am little in love. Try some
of that sherry. What are the symptoms,
Frank-a queer feeling about the heart,
and something which drives the blood
through one like lightning?'
ssExactlyi / believe nave seen Julia
short and chubby, isn't she, with red
hair and little squint-eyed?'
Frank, I never did knock you down
though I have been tempted to do SO {
great many times; but if you don't stoI
that nonsense, I will"
Quite valiant in defence of youl
lady-love. Well. Tom. will confes.
that she is lovely girl, and tomorrow
will call and learn your success. So
good morning. Well Tom, what sue
cess?n
Would you believe it? she did no
recognize me?"
mot recognize your
seNo. You know what quiz tina
Murray is. As soon as he saw me enter
dressed in such style, he came up, shool
hands with me, and without giving me
chance to say one word, introduced m,
to Julia as Mr.. Frederick Somebody
And would you believe it, the littl
witch did not know me. think / shouls
not forget her so easily, Nor was tina
all. Murray said something about tn
fellow who called there the previou
evening" country cousin, he said, clea
enough, but an incorrigible sloven. AM
Julia said he dressed like barbarian
Just think of that. Frank, barbarian
She shall pay for that yet. Such eyes
and she steps like a queen. Well
Frank. clean collar does make vas
difference in o mans appearance. Lowell
as Hebe herself. Terrible differenc
clean linen makes. The last time I SAL
Tom, he was scolding his eldest son fo
coming into the drawing-room wit
muddy boots.
The following preparation, it ]
claimed. will render wood incombustibl
and impermeable: Sulphate of zinc,
pounds; alum, A pounds; sulphur
acid of 60 degrees, % pounds; water, 3
/ ii Al. " i