Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-05-13
NO ia.
Gales al,o Skettbes.
JOHN CAsfgR'S sIy.

John Carter WAS Christian man by
profession. and in heart too. but he had
been sorely tempted to u great sin; il does
not matter to ms what il was. In = state
of such dcspondcncc. such despair Of life
and happiness, such deep affection for
others who suffered with him that he
scarcely cared what he did. and forgot all
things except the present distress and the
offered escape he did thing that he
knew was wrong and wicked; u thing
that would have blasted his reputation
and wrecked his character in al mems
eyes il it were found out. But ii was
not found out; it hung about his neck
like secret milestone after the distress
that tempted him was gone and the sin
done with. There were years when he
could not pray or read his Bible; when
memory brought up to him al the texts
Of condemnation and none OF the merci-
full words of scripture. lie said to him.
self that he was another Esau, and could
find no place Of repentance. His voice
was never heard in prayer meeting; he
avoided the communion table-framing
some excuse OF illness or making absence
from town necessary ut those stated times,
he could not pray by his dying father.
though the pale lips whispered request
that he should do so. The bitterness Of
death compassed him about. and though
he loved his father dearly he WAS glad the
good old man died before he knew his
sons iniquity.
Time after time the wish rose in his
heart that he could confess to man his
transgressions and be freed Of the intolcr-
able burden Of this secret. but this copld
not be done without bringing to his family
disgrace and grief he had no right to
involve them IN. He had, in the worlds
phrase harmed nobody but himself by this
transaction. since he had come out of it
without exposure had been successful in
covering up an action in itself criminal,
but harmful most TO himself.
The position was peculiar. and exquisite
ly painful to a man with u tender con-
science, for to such. sin is misery; and
yet they fall into AS easily rs worse men.
as all history assures us. But after time
of heart broken agony and hopeless peni-
tance, John Carter began to find out that
God is merciful he ceased 10 look into his
own heart. and fixed his eyes upon that
Savior who came 10 save from sin ~ we'll
as from sins penalty. Humbly and slow
ly, like punished child he crept back into
a new religious life; wounded, it Is true,
crippled to a certain extent, but submie.
sive, repentant, and filed with charity
for his fellows. He knew that he could
never recover his sclfrcspect. never for
get his fall, but he accepted that as the re-
suit of transgressiOn. and said like Jere-
miah:
Wherefore doth living man com.
,,lain for, ho s,ni <Sf NJ
SIM
All this was within himself; to his fam
lily and his friends he was only a little
graver than usual, as many men bstti,ie
grave with increasing years; he was now
a constant attendant at church, gave free
ly to good objects. and kind-hearted men.
implicitly to be trusted. leaning rather to
generosity than to justice.
known only to himself and to God his
conscience tOrmented him continually; it
was by constant recalling of the prom.
ises to repentant sinners that he endured
life. No doubt he knew hundred who
had sinned as deeply as he had and rs
successfully concealed their sin, but he
did not know that probably in all the hum
dred not one suffered such agonies of re-
gret and repentance As he did. To them
the thing was over, done with their busi.
ness was to this days work or duty they
put the past behind them. not because
they ought to, but because they wanted to.
But to sensitive moral nature like his
this course was impossible; even though
he felt assured that for Christ's sake his
grievous sin WIS forgiven above, he could
not forget its commission. Day after day
he retraccd every step Of his temptation ;
recalled the half-crazcd state OF mind IN
which he was for weeks; the sin itself
the conccalments he had resortod TO. in
themselves degrading: the terrors Of dis
covery; the agonies Of remorse.
lie grew morbid with this introspectiop,
pcrpetually thinking to himself, life be-
came bitter in all its usages. lie never
went into society without thinking, ''ji
these people knew about me! ~ He re-
ceived cold look, but he felt that posi-
bly, the man who gave it had fathometI
his secret and despised him. Over and
over he said to himself. "What II Sarah
knew it?" and his whole heart shivercd
within him. He did Sarah-who was hi
She was woman unusually loving, un.
| scIIIsu t1u OIHiSIuS. IL JOuU COUlO 08v4
told her-which was out Of the question
out of her sweet compassion and tender.
ness he would have felt his way back tr
healthy spiritual life, but without thl
touch Of human sympathy he found !,
hard to lay hold on the divine, and saw
even the father who loves his errine
children. and welcomes them back from
their wondering and starvation with eyel
blinded with his own unshed tears. Il
was i'm this sort of mood that he fell in
one year, just before thanksgiving day
with an old college friend. q hsrd-work
ing minister in a city parish,
man who had seen more sir
than John Carter had ever dreamed Of
and combatcd it in all its protean shapes
Of poverty. ignorance and degradatiCn.
''Where are you bound for, Joe ?' Johs
said. as they met at railroad station.
Bound for home, man!'' answered III
Rev. Joseph Dyer.
where else should man be eoinr
this time of year but home TO the old folk
and tanksgiving?''
"Do you always feel in the mood 70 b
thankful, then. on the 81 day?"
ITO be sure / do. Jack; Why not
There's always enough to Be grateful for
the Bible wouldn't say, In eyerythin