Ashtabula weekly telegraph. (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1880-1886, 1880-08-20
The DemOcratIc Dilemma.

lneIe Is, IN Jne lleNlDle lexicon OF the
backwoods regions, such a word as
bungstarter. This expressive phrase,
which has a loose existence beyond the
pale of dictionaries, describes or hints
at the great want of the Democratic
party, or to speak in loftier strain, it
epitomizes the great need of the hour
Ever since the nomination of Hancock
the standing advertisement at Demo-
cratic headquarters has been, "Wanted
"A Bungstarter. This has been the
substance of every enthusiastic note
written to Mr.. Tilden, the burden of
every story poured into General Han
cocks ear, the spirit of every murmur
at the door of English. Mr.. Waiter
son has seen it in his waking dreams,
Mr.. Hendricks has heard it with q
smile, and Mr.. Kelly has looked upon it
with wink. But no one has succeeded
in starting the bung.
There are many ways of starting a
bung, and many circumstances that call
for expeditions work in freeing the
bung-hole of barrel from all impede
ments. A rude bungstarter may be
fashioned like an iron poker, and any
strong-armed man may use it with eff
feet, under proper direction. In the
primitive ages, il is stated that as a
last resort a stone has been used to ad-
vantage in removing a bung. The bung-
istarter of the period, however, is vast
improvement on this, and when it be-
comes necessary to remove certain sub
stances of n stubborn character from
barrels, it is necessity in any well-reg-
ulated establishment.
The legendary barrel, said to contain
the spirit of the Democratic campaign,
has not, up to date, been successfully
tapped. Mr.. Thurman gave the spigOt
a turn the night of the nomination, but
nothing came of it. The Democratic
Convention Committee turned the fau-
Get with great ceremony at Governors
Island, but there was the merest drib-
BILE from the barrel Mr.. Kelly knew
what was wanted, and he bored in with
his little gimlet, but the vent did not
result as expected. The National Com
mittee tugged at the faucet as an old
topper about to expire with thirst, but,
If Senator Wallace may be believed,
succeeded only in getting the thing out
.of order.
AilNh hlboC lllO WIN Cll lOI u uullH=
starter, Senator Barnum thought he
knew who had one. 1t was personal
property, of course, but if certain things
were done it could be borrowed. In
the meantime the press took up the cry.
Hendricks was implored to come for
ward could he bring nothing better than
a poker, and could he do nothing more
than pound vigorously for effect But
he struck not blow. The Greenback
leaders were asked to try their hands,
but they remained in the dim distance.
At last it was officially stated that
Mr., Tilden would come to the rescue
armed with the best bungstarter that
the New York market could afford,
The barrel would be opened with APP
prOpriate ceremonies, and the Hancock
boom would be placed on its feet and
started on its torrent-like course. The
momentous hour came on Wednesday
evening, and the man was there. The
man and the hour met, and thousands
OF anxious Democrats stood eXpectant.
They waited with bated breath for the
bung TO fly and for the outpouring that
was TO follow. But Mr. Tilden thought
best not to meddle with the bung.
Ever cautious, and shrewd as a matter
of habit, he tapped the tail end of the
barrel, and, while eager eyes were
fixed on faucet and bung, treated the
audience to a taste of the spirit of the
campaign Of 1876. Much to the con-
sternation of the Hancock managers,
the meeting was turned into an ovation
to Tilden, and Hancock and En-
glish, and all things to them APP
pertaining, were lost sight Of Mr..
Randall, with characteristic boldness,
but much against his will, put his
thumb in the surreptitious augur hole,
and, all bespattered with the wastage,
called loudly for bungstarter. As he
settled down to the work before him,
he promised that most skillful hand
at that business would come soon, He
came in the person of General Ewing,
who pounded on this side and that with
all the energy of an enthusiastic nature.
He yielded to j. Randolph Tucker, who
got the barrel in position, and sue
ceeded in creating the impression that
the solid South stood behid him in SER
ried ranks, ready to elect Hancock at a
moments notice. But, at the close, it
was discovered that the Democrats of
New York City had met to show their
loyalty to Tilden; that in doing this
they had disgusted and enraged the
Tammanyites and demoralized the Han
cock men by brevet; and when the
costs had been counted in cold blood,
the managers found solace only in hang
ing out the old sign; Wanted-A
] u.