Connecticut western news., 1880-03-24
WIT AND WISDOM.

[ what we have, never with what we are. T Macintosh.
 The Chicago Journal says to an- initiate the Indians send them the pug zle of "fifteen."
 The Boston Courier says that the horseshoe doesn't bring good luck when the horse applies it. Act well at the moment and you have performed good action to all eternity.-[Lavater.
 Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love. .--[George Eliot.
 Speech is noble only when, like an honest money, it represents the gold of thought w. M. Taylor.
 A witty lady being asked her opin. ion of moustaches, replied, "I always set my face against them."
 A drunken loafer in @ free fight is said by the Marathon Independent to be the riot man in the riot place.
 Make yourself an honest man. and then you may be- sure that there is one less rascal in the world.- Carlyle. It is extraordinary how long man may look among the crowd without dis covering the face of afriend.-- Dickens.
 Every man throws on to his sur roundings the sunshine or the shadow that exists in his own soul. [Dr. Peddie. .F
 Science is advancing every year. A German professor has discovered that a cat can be made to have the whooping cough. :.
 Tt is very we'll that the youth of our country should get high, but they should do just as the oaks do, by drink ing water. v
 Iiouor cask, we always think of the amount of criss-cross walking condensed l inside of it.
 When he is twenty-one the boy is said to have outgrown the switch, but that is just the age when girl begins to peed one.
 Truth is the most powerful thing in the world, sincs fiction can only please it by it's resemblance to It. [Shaitesbury.
 Now they say the real grievance or the Cincinnati people against Theodore Thomas is that he would not beat time with ham.
 If you are in circus when lion escapes don't get frightened. The beast will be more embarrassed than any or the audience. ---
 A man having fallen down in fit in tailor's shop, an envious rival saio, "Thats the only fit ever seen in that establishment"
 l It is reported that an able states man who built house out of his poker winnings said that his residence was built on bluff.
 The price of glass eggs, made and sold to fool hens, has lately advanced 10 per cent. and the hens are just cack- ling with delight. .....
 It was g Chicago girl who once spoke of "setting" in chair and then got such an education that she talkeo about the beautiful "sunsit." When ladies meet they always greet with kisses heard across the street but men. more mild, don't get so wild they meet then part, when both had "smlleo. -" Heaven doth with us, as with torches do, Not light them for themselves; for if our virtues
 Did not go forth of us, twere all alike As if we had them not" -"You do not Ike to make calls, said an uncle to his nephew. "but you must make calls," he continued, "for there's always pleasure derived if not when you enter, at least when you come out"
 -" Don't you think that good like ness of me ?" said pretty wife to her small fraction of herself called husband. "very good," was the reply, "except that there is @ little too much repose about the mouth," # l That was triumphal appeal of the lover of antiquity, who, in arguing the superiority of an old architecture over the rew, said "Where will you md any modern building that has lasted so long as the ancientP"
 The game of "Sixteen" is played at the front gate, with one foot on the bottom and both arms across the top, while she stands on the other side ana winds bit of blue ribbon around her forefnger and heaps up little pile Of gravel with her foot. .~.
 Little Gertie went with her mother to see Madame Toussaud's wax works. After looking about curiously, as If she were trying to find out something and could not, she said "Why do they call them wax works, mamma2 They're wax, but they don't work"
 In a police court: "You are un- worthy of the indulgence of this tri- bunal. This is the second time that you have been taken up for vagrancy. Why don't you work ?" Your Honor, it is not my fault. I have been arrested in every business that put my hand to-"
 A young dentist was introduced to a fashionable beauty the other evening, and gracefully opened the conversation by saying: "Mlss, hope I may con- sider that we are not entirely unao- quainted. I had the pleasure of pull ing tooth for your father short time ago."
 A young lady surprised the "gen- tlemanIy clerk at one of our dry goods stores the other day by offering him