The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-12-17
Corvallis Gazette.
Unqualified RetractIOn.

Unqualified RetractIOn.
ST want to see the boss liar who runs
this ibelous Sheet" roared muscular
looking young man of the base ball spe-
cies, walking into the Office of the Post
last Monday morning.
s'The managing editor is out" said the
office boy, hastily getting behind the
high counter.
'.Blast the editorp growled the strang-
er rapping on the counter with the big
end of his four-foot club. II want to see
the head pirate-the proprietor-the fell
low that your paper says wants to be held
responsible for those internal lies about
the Carnival people in Saturdays Post =,
Through the open door of the inne/
Office came subdued, rustling sou
as though terrier was chasi1
rat into hole, followed by silence
might have been cut with knife.
Hes out, too" replied the boy
"Gol dern the luckr' said the
lar party, much annoyed.
around on purpose to batter i
this here club"
"Hs will be sorry to have MISC
said the boy, soothingly.
paper left regularly"
"Parer be everlasting
blanknationr' thundered
"My sister is the Queen of
"Queen of what-ba?"
"Of Sheba, idiot; don't you under
stand"
s'Once more for the beerr' said the
Office boy, leaning forward.
"Why, the Queen of Sheba; up at the
Carnival, mean. She was brought
home from the matinee day before yes
terday in hack and fits. This is what
6.d it," and the aggrieved brother drew
out copy of our superior family jour
nal (only fifteen cents a week by carrier)
and pointed to the following paragraph:
"We would rather find thousand dol
Lar bill, lost by poor washerwoman,
than say anything unkindly personal in
this article; but, all the same, we mean
to overhaul sacred history the first
chance we get and ascertain whether
there is any definite Scripture for sup
posing that the Queen Of Sheba had ac-s
cess to unlimited quantities of Linl7
fully substantiated we shall be reluct-
antly forced to conclude the counterfeit
presentation of that potentate up at
Mission and Eighth to be an atmos-
phelic fraud and miasmatic mockery.
s'Must be some mistake" softly sug-
gested the boy.
Mistake be blowed, said the Queens
brother, brandishing his club to the ex-
treme discomfort of the cashiers nose.
''It's an Internal, miserable lie. My sis
ter never eats cheese; and, besides, she
chews cafdamon seeds and things. Never
ate Limburger in her life. y
81 do" said the Office boy, in a con-
soling way.
$50 sre,"- said the outraged party,
pushing the boys nose around with t}le
end of his club. ssThe minute read
that cowardly slander just went out p
the woodpiie and picked out the knotti-s
est stick I could find. I whitfield itdown
at this end for a square grip. When will
the old vampire be in? I'll wait for
him"
A couple of gentle taps came from
within.
"He1l be gone two months, answered
the boy.
The knocks were repeated more vigor-
ously.
81 mean two gears" continued the
youth, hastily. "Hes away off up on
ranch mewhere-building q new sta
BILE -one for mules. Ten to one he
never gets back at all"
ssJust my Internal hard luck NUT
tered the athelete ''Is there anybody
here who would like to step out and
represent him a few minutes?"
But there was nobody who could spare
the time"
'sAll right" said the representative of
the Scriptural ruler. II will now go
and have lot of base ball spikes screwed
into this club, and if there isn't an un-
conditional retractiOn in next Saturdays