Northern Ohio journal. [volume] (Painesville, Ohio) 1872-1896, 1880-03-20
ALL sORTs,

SldH lhIully ~. Il. COWHteTCtUC d1OSF-
tiser.
-"Take carer" says timid ex-
change. Eyes, but take it in small
doses" ."-McG Gregor Nea0s. -l
"A school teacher says that children
should never be stupidity joked at when
they blunder in answering question.
General Miles reports that Sitting
Bull is south of the Intern ational bound
ary line, near Round Buttes, on Milk
River.
"A man who has been there says
that everybody laughs about boil ex-
cepting the man who furnishes it a
lodging place.
Mrs. Youngwoman wants to know
&C how to tell fresh egg from stale
one?" Taste it, goosey; taste it.-BaIr-
lSngtom Haaok-Eye.
1t is some satisfaction to learn that
the piano men have struck. We anx-
iously await reports from the cornet
manufacturerS.-
=" You look good enough to eat,"
said he, looking over her shoulder into
the mirror. s'Food for reflection" she
replied, without smile.
Says Josh Billings:" If yu kant
trust man entirely, let him skip; this
trieing to get an average on honesty al
wuzz has been a failure"
Mr.. Beecher says it takes a man
four years to learn to be President. 1t
takes a man a good deal longer to learn
that he can't be President.
"A study for those who have leisure
and the liking for such things, is the
assertion that no two locomotive bells
were ever made which had the same
tone.
-McFlannery heard gentleman
say of another that he had too benign
countenance, and remarked: "A 2 be 9
countenance! Phwat a face, to be surer'
IN. Y. Graphic. 81
"A young lady in Indiana was sud-
emily kissed at party and was so great
ly shocked and mortified that she be-
came insane. This will probably put
stop to kissing.
-" What am 1 offered for this lot of
calamityP" inquired the auctioneer at
sale of household effects recently.
The lot consisted of washtub and
washboard.-N. z. Graphic.
The game of Fifteen'' is about
the only thing we know of that makes a
fellow forget to step up to the bar when
somebody kindly inquiries, Have
something. IN ?. Express
&c Blue-Eyed Birdie. Yes, a horse
shoe is said to bring luck, but a mule
shoe never does, unless you can have it
applied by the mule to a rich uncle who
has made will in your favor.
A young lady in Brooklyn is work
ing a motto, "No Ice Cream" She
says, " You know it is leap year, and
the ice crops's failure, and the boys
| might as well know it first as last.''
-"The male hornet does not sting"
says an eminent scientist, but people
won't take the chances of hornet be-
ing a male and pick it up with their
fingers. If they do they'll get beaten
every time.
"A lazy man wants some one to in
vent a collar &C needing neither buttons
nor pins" He might drive a tack in
it. Or use glue. Or sew the collar
fast to the shirt, as was the fashion
thirty-five years ago, we've been told.
-Norristoa0n Herald.
1t has been suggested as remedy
for the paper corner, that the editors
should own the paper mills. Yes. that
would fix it certainly; but then if the
editor owned paper mill, he'd see the
country in Halifax before he'd be both
cred with newspaper. -Haaok-Eye.
Two young ladies have been ap-
pointed census enumerators for Ash
land and Catlettsburg, Kentucky, and
people in that section are prepared to
bet that the age of every other woman
| will be correctly given, no matter if she
is 200 years old and still unmarried.
-" You are an ojus, hidjus idjit, my
DEAR" said playful mamma to her
daughter at dancing-school the other
day. go, my dear Mrs. -,'' sighed
one of her neighbors, "what wouldn't
give to have your knowledge OF
Latin!'
An invalid insisted to his doctor
that he was certainly growing weaker
every day, and that the end was not fal
off. "Why, DOCTOR" he said, one day
in querulous tones, ssa month ago
could walk around the park yonder
and to-day was so weak that coult
only walk halfway round and the1
back again."
| -Oleomargarine has only one ad
! vantage that we have ever heard of
If you don't wish to use it as butter
and the chances are pretty heavy tina
you don't-you have only to run wicl
through it and use it for candles. 1
is also useful for chalking the bridg
of the nose, in case of local colds.-
Puck.
"A fond mother wants to learn som
way to tell how her son will turn out
That's easily done. Ii he's wanted t.
go out and weed the garden, he'll turl
out slowly and reluctantly and be tw
hours dressing. If he's called to see
circus procession go by, he'll turn ou
quick and probably hurt himself tryin
to come down stairs and put on a boo
, at the same time. -
I'm the church in Tiverton was
} chapel built by the Earls of Devon, an
+ appropriated for their burials. Her
was the tomb of Edward Courtenay an
l his Countess. On the tomo was th
t following inscription:
l Ho, Ho! who lies heres
'Tis l, the good Earl of Devonshire,
? With Kate, my wife, to me full dear,
We lived together fifty-ive year,
That we SPENT we had;
That we left, we lost
l That we gave, we have.
> -ss No man shall ever kiss me excel
4 my future husband" she said, as b
was about leaving her at the gait
"Suppose 1 agree to be your fl
!, ture-" "Why, then, I'll agree I
: kiss you," she said, eagerly; and sh
$ did. Her mother was informed that h
v had proposed, and the old lady calle
: round next day to fasten matters, an
. before he knew it he was eternal
booked. It was mean advantage, b,
e a bird in the hand is worth two on til
y front gate.
- The courts have decided that
chalk mark is patentable, and have O
. dered the Commissioner of Patents {
! issue patent to the man who wante
one for such mark. The chalk is al
a Piled to piece of pasteboard cut in
= = strip and fastened together in a circ1
~ lar form with beveled edges, so that
can be stripped over sugar bucket
y jars of sweetmeats, cake boxes, and tt
!" like, to repel insects.
! "A lady living near Baltimore WI
q is very deaf stopped a milkman as
was passing the house the other d,
and asked him how much he charge
q for quart of milk, and then put up h
le ear trumpet to catch the reply. IT
n