The Portland daily press., 1880-12-29
Bad Medicines.
The Peculiar Influence Of Hornets Nest
on Small Party.
Detroit Free Press.l

'i4 lDetroit Free Press.
There is an old woman on Catharine street,
who delights to find a case that all the doctors
have failed to cure, and then go to work with
herbs and roots and strange things and try to
at least effect an Improvements. A few days
ago she got hold of a girl with stiff neck,
and she offered an old negro named Uncle
Tom Kelly, fifty cents to go in the woods and
bring her hornets nest. This was to be
stepped in vinegar, and applied to the neck
The old man spent several days along the
Holden road, and yesterday morning he Sc
cured his prize, and brought it home in bas-
ket. When he reached the Central Market he
had few purchases to make, and after get
ting some tea at a grocery, he placed his bas-
ket on q barrel near the stove and went out TO
look for a beef bone. --.-....-.---
1t was dull day for trade. The grocer sat
by the stove rubbing his bald head His clerk
stood at the desk balancing accounts, and
three or four men lounged around talking
about the party that is to be founded on the
ruins of the Democracy. 1t was serene hour.
One hundred and fifty hornets had gone to
roost in that nest for the Winter. The genial
atmosphere began to timber them up. Ono
old veteran opened his eyes, rubbed his legs
and said it was the shortest Winter he had
ever known in all his hornet days A second
shook off his lethargy, and seconded the mo-
tim, and in five minutes the whole nest was
alive, and its owners were ready to sail ont
and investigate. You don't have to hit a hor-
net with tne Droadside OF an Ak to make him
mad. He's mad all over oil the time, and he
doesn't care picayune wn,ther he tackles
humming bird or an elephant.
Inc grocer was telling one Of the men that
he and General Grant were boys together,
when he gave a sudden start of surprise This
was followed by several other starts Then no
jumped over a barrel of sugar and yelled like
Pawnee. Some smiled, thinking he was az
ter funny climax, but 1t was only minute
before solemn old farmer jumped three feet
high and came down to roll over a job lot of
washboards. Then the clerk ducked his head
and made a rush for the door. He didn't get
there. One of the other men, who had been
looking up aud down to see what could be the
matter, felt suddenly called upon to go home
He was going at the rate Of forty miles an
hour, when he collided with the clerk and
they rolled on the floor. There was no use 10
tell the people in that store to move on. They
couldn't tarry to save 'em. They all felt that
the rent was too high and that they must va
cate the premises. A yell over by the cheese
box was answered by a war whoop from the
showcase. howl from the kerosene barrel
near the back door was answered by wild ges-
lures around the show window
The crowd went out together Uncle Tom
was Just coming in with his beef bone When
q larger body meets a smaller one the larger
body knocks it into the middle of next week.
The old man lay around In the slush until
everybody had stepped on him all they wanted
to, and then he sat up and asked:
"Hev dey got de fab all put out yit?"
Some OF the hornets set out of doors to fall
by the wayside, and others waited around on
top of barrels and baskets and Jars to be-
slaughtered. 1t was half an hour before the
last one was disposed of, and then Uncle Tom
walked in, picked up the nest, and said:
"Mebbe dis will cure stiffness in dat sals
neck de same, but 1 tell you Pze got banged,
an, bumped, an sot down on till it will take a
hull medical college all Winter long to git me
so l kin Jump off street kyari"