The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-12-30
Hash-Oomments and Reflections.
"Hash! hasn't sweet, sweet hasn't
Be 1t ever SO girls
There's no grub like hash"


Be 1t ever SO gristly.
There's no grub like hash"
The author of the above tender par
ody was probably one of those extreme
ly enterprising men who do nothing
themselves, but whose wives support
them by keeping -boarders. The lazy
lubber composed this apostrophe to
mixed food to still the grumblings OF
overhashed boarders.
What is hash? Every one knows.
vet none can define it. The ablest
minds of this century have grappled
with the problem and signally failed.
Webster SAYS it is dish of minced
and mixed meat, or meat and vegeta-
bles; but this itself is only cold, unsea-
soned hash of words, and no more ex-
presses the popular idea of the Wand
in question than it does of mince pie.
Josh Billings came nearer when he
termed hash mystery, but still he only
suggested it's leading characteristic.
Notwithstanding the general undefin-
ability of hash, we may yet discuss its
peculiarities and note its virtues and
its vices. Hash is of two kinds: first,
homemade hash; second, hotel or
boarding house hash. The first we
learned to love and devour as children.
Very likely mother made it; it not,
probably she superintended it. As we
dozed of cold morning, up from the
kitchen below came the musical chuck!
chuck! of the chopping knife as it de-
scended through the corn beef and
struck the wooden tray. Those were
happy days when we started for school
at eight O'Clock, full to the brim of
good hot hash and buck-wheat cakes.
fHa fS Of
the hash? Did cold suspicion of the
picked bones ever cross our minds? Or
did the thought of tom-cat or poodle
ever lessen our appetites? Oh, no!
There was mystery, but we had unlim-
tied confidence in the legitimacy of the
mystery. Then we grew to maturer
years. Home was no more. From
hotel to restaurant, and from res
taurant to boarding house, the now
lordly man was hurried. How about
the hash? 1t was there, it was
everywhere, with a regularity wonder
full to contemplate. But gradually sus-
picion took possession of the many
breast. He eyed the mystery frequent
ly and sadly. and he eyed the waiter,
the steward. and the landlady. When,
morning, his tooth struck fragment
of a button, suspicion grew rank; but
when, soon after, he put a private
mark on bone and received the same
bone back again twice within the week,
then a wild frenzy seized him, and
hash was foreswOrn for the rest of his
natural days. This il history, univer-
sal history. and the public horror of
hash il as fixed to-day in the United
States as is that of over-ripe eggs.
Doubtless there is much excellent hash
made in every city, town, and hamlet
of the land, but the temptation to fraud
in its manufacture, and the difficulty in
the same, is such that the
man of the world is content to 60 hash
less to his grave rather than to run the
risk of stumbling on familiar bones,
buttons, hair-pins, shoe-lacings, cast
off apparel, and such other seasonings
as proverbially find their way into it.
Good hash meets the fate of fraud
ulent hash, and none but the confiding
and unsophisticated venture to assal 1t,
Somebody has said that II Is safe to
eat hash when tho landlady eats hash,
hut tho absence of the landlady in
hotel, restaurant, and most boarding
houses, renders the rule useless. At
rare intervals one finds boarding
house where everything is scrupulously
neat and elegant, so remindful of |
mother and youthful days. that he is
justified in eating everything set before |
him. Such place Is pearl Of great |
price, and, when discovered should be
treasured up. Probably the best re-
that a private boarding |
house can have is that it is safe to eat |
its hash. 1t is useless to expect the
until the general practice
If all the Christian graces and virtues
has made universally safe article of |
it to its pristine simplici-
y and popularity,