The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1880-06-04
MY wlfs's Relations.

ovstere ! upon my word this looks as
if we were going to have company
$50 we are my dear" said my wife,
looking little guilty, as she polished
up the surface OF the silver tea-tray
wlths new chamois leather. "They
are all coming to visit me-Uncle Sitas
and Aunt MilIicent, aud the children,
and cousin Joab, and the two Miss
Wilmerdings, and my Aunt Louisa. to
meet the Rev. MIR. Spsrkwell, from
Minnesota, who married my cousin,
Jerusha Wilde. Mr.. Sparkwell is
troubled with catarrh, and he thinks
st staying at our house for few weeks
while he is being treated by DR.. Do
sem."
put down my linen duster and
brown parcels with some emphasis.
"Oh, confcund the Rev. Mr.. Spark
we'll I'' said I.
"John !" CALCULATED my wife.
"Well, my dear, cau't help it,"
Eaid /. t'It's not III human nature to
endure everything. And rve been re-
lationed out of all patience ever since
our marriage. The Jenkinses went
away last week, the Birdsalls took all
affectionate leave yesterday, and now,
Just as was contemplating pleasant
evening by ourselves, here's new
swarm hungrier than the rest, just
about TO settle down upon us In my
opinion, Kittie, relations should he
abolished"
''I am surprised at you, John," said
my vile 'sny own people, that are So
fond of me-"
''Tbat's where you are mistaken.
DEAR" said l. "It's your comfortable
spring beds and good cookery that
they are fond OF, not you
"John ~
"I'll be willing to wager good
found SUM on the truth of my asser-
tions," said l.
''Because you have no relations your
seif-"
''Thank Providence for that" said 1
deVoutly. "I was reared in a foundl-
ing asylum, AMI have nobody but my
self to thank for my tolerable success in
the world.''
Its no reason you should find fault
with mine,' eaid I1ittie, with her bright
blue eyes full of tears. "ADd Mr.
Sparkwell is such spiritually minded
man, and dear Uncle Silas loves you
just ss if you was his only son, and
Cousin Joab is 80 interested IN the
gaildren.9
"Pm much obliged to 'em,' said I,
dryly. "But slept all last week on
sofa cushions laid in the bath tub and
we had fourteen people here over TIE
anniversaries !; and 1 was obliged to
give up my room for month last Win
ter to old Mrs. MansewelI. not TO speak
OF our being half poisoned by A,.nt
Loaisa's hygenian rnesses IN the Fall.
WheD the poet said there's no place
Ike home, / presume he meant when
there was no relations visiting them
I'll tell you what my dear,'' with a
sudden inspiration, ''I've great mind
formally to deed over this house to
your relations, if they will agree solemn
~ to leave me in peace the rest of nv
hfe5 wheresoever I may set up my farn-
lily tents.''
"Nonsense !" said my wife. Do 90
up stairs and change your things, and
brush your hair and get ready for tea.
They're all waiting in the best parlor.
and'I was expecting your return to see
about hiring some cot beds from the
village botel to put up in the attic for
those four Sparkwell children. You.
zee, Aunt Louisa has the blue bed room
and Cousin yoab sleeps in the little
wing chamber, and Mr.. and Mrs.
Sparkwell will have our room, and
"Indeed p said !, sand we are to
sIeepin the barn l suppose"
'Don't be cross john" said my vito
sppeslinglg. zone must be botpitabIe,
yeu know. And / can easily make up
the soft bed in the back parlor for our
use for a week or two"
I said nothing, but ground my teeth
in silent diepair, as ] sprang up stairs,
two steps at time, made what changes
Icould in my toilet, by the aid OF a
ten BY twelve glass. hung over the
wasbstand of y stuffy little bath Toom.
The Rev. Afa Sparkwell was = big
man with >, sill bigger voice, and >