Little Falls transcript. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1876-1894, 1880-04-02
! l FACTS II, Y. AND NJ FAN IEs

k1Aeas
Wars Of error Love letters TO an
other mans wife. sassa t S 5s ii
8 An appeal to the understanding
Wipe your feet.n tt# aafa p sffisfff.sx
S. .lHE pin is mightier than thetsward.
You can sit on the sward with inpunity
I'm most of the States elections are
held the third day of the week because
it is ehooseday. & ri a.. assg3ss ~
"A NEW book, like a. fresh lobster,
doesn't benefit q man much until it is
red and digested. 5.ss, ,g:4, a,;3 h. ~,
esSP1oER says his collar-buttons is like
the celebration Of the Fourth Of July !,
it is sure to come of. .a,,;.s,x..IF .. !.
SCORES Of thousands. Of camels are
killed by oYer-exertion and starvation
IN every campaign IN India. .>+" .>~,
HALs, a citizens time in the, ,co Iui
tries Of the Old World is taken up In
learning how to be q soldier !;strss,
. 5VIoroR HUGO says that loveg gives him
perspicuity. In this country it genef-
ally sets 2 man to buying dresses. H%%'27
a THIS is, the latest for, wedding invita-
tions:! sCome around and see us capt.
ure al'mother-in-law,' ats o'clock,
sharp" i.fs.r'T"nasd baa i sd;"s" 91G '@j fa1
W11Hou r. saying 1yg5 which one does the
hugging,J Miss MULCH says bear and
forbear are the two great bears of mat
rimony. 'Nr-'1; s1a:sa1@ 7.!1'"F ,"''.;4t
!: THERE are piianists SO expert in ,i,
tions that they can play: all; around "a
melody orlan old air without ever hit
tlnglit once:'' q. }.<.s i ~ rs u ID ."s,si
EMINENT German statisticiahs ;calcu-
late that the amount of money spent in
railroads since the invention of the loco
motive reaches the vast sum OF: $l5,-
000,o00,000.' , -'@a..- #; 90 s@:'' ~ S'"I
AN auctioneer was :endeavoring to sell
a: fowling-piece, and, failing to get a
bid, a bystander, who had read the pa
pers, said: @Blow in the muzzle, and
it will &C of" .... :i.,@..
J. A CALIFORNIA counterfeiter put the
officers on track of a chap who had $25
in bogus coin about him, and then made
his own escape with over $4,000 OF the
stuff in sache] ....,
r"YoU just take a bottle of my medi-
cine," said quack doctor to con-
sumptive, and you'll never cough
again" Is itso fatal as that?" gasped
the consumptive. = ~, - N
How rs it,: in fashionable weddings,
that we always have catalogue of the
brides wearing apparel, while we: never
hear of the groom having so much as q
new pair Of socks. 49,.
A NOTICE in Western newspaper Of
steamboat explosion ends as follows:
"The Captain swan ashore. Sosdid the
chambermaid; she was insured for
$4,000, and loaded with iron."
A PHILADELPHIA newspaper describes
the Edison lamp as "the size of a lady's
fist" which is about as definite dis
certain recipe, in which one of the in
gradients was "as big as piece OF chalk"
lis 1rpossible, miss, that you do not
know the names of some of your best
friends?" inquired a gentleman Of a
lady. certainly" she replied; II don't
even know what my own will be year
hence" :..i 49,
DID it ever occur to you why law
yer who is conducting disputed-will
case is like trapeze performer in a cir
Gus? Didn't? Well, it's because he
flies: through the heir with the greatest
of fees. ~"
INDIGNANT wife-"I I had known
you were coming home in this condi-
ton, should have gone home to nv
fathers" Inebriated husband" Hic-
would you? I'm awf sorry didn't shend
you word-hic."
The system By double entry. origi-
nally called italian bookkeeping, was
taken from the course of algebra which
was published by Burgo, at Venice, in
the fifteenth century. It was made
known in England by James Peele, in
1869.
BOY once took 1t in his head
That he would exercise his sled.
He took that sled into the road,
And, lord massyl how he slodc. ,
And as he slid, he laughing CRIED
What fun upon my sled to slide."
And as he laughed before he knewed,
He from that sliding sled was Elude.
Upon the slab where he was laid
They carved this Line: "This boy was sladc,"
Kansas city TIMES.
OF what sort Of stuff are burglars
made?.: The wife of one has been beg.
ging q New York Judge to save her son
from the influences with which her hus.
bands calling has surrounded the boy.
Anywhere but among the burglars such
a man would appear to be worse than a
brute.'} <.s. ,:,. -: ..f
IT was written, @Her dainty feet were
incased in shoes that might have been
taken for fairy boots," but the compost
tor made it to read, "Her dirty feet were
incased in shoes that might have been
taken for ferry-boats," and he is no
longer a dweller in Chicago, but fugi-
tive in the land. +. 1,; .s,.,,.~
TWIN brothers at Evergreen, Ala,
were not only alike in looks, but so;
equal in strength that wrestling match
way arranged as ssaFHttes test. This Gid not
settle the matter. however, for, one was
thrown OH his head and killed at the
beginning Of sthescontests Z.
A LONDON, paper tells of an English
lady who has kicked q ,*oot-baI ninety
feet without training &. Think of the
dreadful consequences that would en-
suesincase she Should get to dreaming
aboutsthe matter some, night and plant
her foot in the small of her unfortunate
husbands back.
DR.. dPRUDEN walked into q PRAYER
meeting at Benton, Mimi, with an open
Bible in one hand and cooked pistol
in the other. He said there had been
altogether too much controversy over
The meaningot ascertainssclptual pas
sage, and That he meant to kill anybody
who differed with him on the subject.
Hewas hurried otto aninsane asylum.
Snow was riding on Horseback near
Sonora, Cal. The horse threw him of
BY kicking hard against a rock. he
was about to give the beast sound
whipping, when he saw gold glistening
where a piece of the rock had been
broken of. Thus 1aT valuable quartz
lode was discovered, and horse escaped
punishment. l.,4 i.9. ,5t:.,v,i,.. ..,(?
NICOTINE is named from Jean Nicot
hord of Viiemain, who purchased some
tobacco at Lisbon in 1850, introduced
it into France and had the honor of fix
ing his name on the plant. 81 Our word
tobacco is from the Indian tabaco, the
tube used by the, Indians for, inhaling
the smoke, which by them is called
petunior coMba. Il ,2s- NJ ,szS@s7 .Eti !
Curious EprrAp,HH.-T The following Gu
rious epitaph is to be seen Cor was) in
Hadleigh Church, Suffolk, England: =,p
The charnel mounted on thew :, ,a-t "a 81
Sets TO be seen or tuner .:;L,. IL
A matron plain, domefhc -, - ~
In care and pain continu - Fs'"" \ $40
Nof a1ovv nnr 1,rav NOR rrndi9 ara, g,Gt; Ire.