Delaware state journal. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1870-1883, 1880-09-02

official heads.
A littls girl noticing the g.ittering gold
filing in her aunt's front tooth, exclaimed:
'Aunt Mary, | wish | had copper-toed
teeth like yours"
Bod Iugesoil still sticks TO his phrase:
"lreat woman like a splendid flower"
But does she want q he spriukled with
hellebore to keep off the hugs 2--Ne0
York World.
Paris is rapidly adopting the electric light
even in its present crude stage of devt lope'
ment. Twenty large establishments in
that city are nightly illuminated in this |
way, and the boulevards are dazzling with |
the new light.
"Are you building air castles in Spain p
1hc laudlaty asked OF Il bOardtr.
Then the poor lrllOY flushing with pain,
/ Replied as he sadly glanced toward her:
'No madam! My coifees 20 poor
| think not OF Seville Or Hayre;
Yet, really, wish were sure
We're looking a grounds now in Java"
Elopements are becoming quite fashion
able. A horse ran away with an old maid
in Philadelphia.
Deadwona miner played base ball
with can of nitro glyceriue just to snow
his companions that he wasn't afraid OF
the stuH Tho ouly trace of him was n
hole in the ground.
"Mr. Smith," said II hdy at fair,
"wou't you please buy this banquet to
present 10 the lady you Iove?'
"'Twouldn't be right said MIR. Smiih
''Tm married man.
The Prince of Wales two sons ars
somewhat lively. While on sea voy-
age recently tue younger was heard 10 ex-
claim: "Uome, bub, tune up your fiddle,
ard give MS God save your old Grand
mother"
The CT tlored people of I-ittIe Rock are
divided as to the needs of the soil. One
congregation has been praying for rain,
while the other asked for continued sun
shine The minister OF the wet district
sent the following note to the people of
the dry: "You folks oughter be ashamed
of yourselves. This crosscut prayin' is
enough TO get the Lord so bothered that
he don't know what to do. +"
Look here, Matilda" said Galveston
lady to a colored cook You sleep right
close TO the chicken house, aud you must
nave heard those tbityes stealing the
chickens" "Yes, ma'am; / heard de
chickens holler, and heard de voices Oh
|
''Case, ma'am (bursting III tears) case,
ma'am, [ knowed my ole fadier was out
dar, and wouldn't hab him know Use los
confidence in him fosh all de chickens in
de world. If | had gone out dar and
kotched him, it would have broke his ole
heart al d he would hab made mo tote de
chickens home foah him besides. lie
done toe me day before dat he's ewine to
pull dem chickens dat night GGLeeston
Meas. ...... .-.-
Probably there is nothing more agra
vaiug than the loud, cheeky, silly and
self-setisfed air of boy of II who
despises children, but is excused because
he himself is a child who tries to carry
towards ladies the manners of man, and
whose mother tucks him away in his
trundle bed at night. He seeks the
society of old girls who pet him, says
silly aud smutty things that would not be
tolerated if he were man, and is eye-open
when women, regarding him only as
child, are free in their manners before
him He is hated by girls year or two
older than he is and If despised by men,
who speak Of him as "a freshly or "a
smart Aleck "--NetD York HeFdM
If there is anything more than another
that worries newspaper man it is the Use
, Of the word ''piece" by self-introduced
stranger who means item or "article."
lie begins thus Are sou onto the
Limtk0a BHyRtrf What place you got
Ouce wrote piece myself about a map OF
our country. VINO wrote that piece in
your paper this morning on politics
Good piece hut | don't agree with it.
Tell your man who wrote that piece that if
| 4 fYiu Y,ian
/ that II sell the pap y. Got an extree
, paper about you with that piece in Who
writes the fire piece for your paper? Does
your dramatic man write nice piece on
thee ters Aud, by The way, drop into
our neclStie store some day when | amt
busyand I'll give you piece about horses. !"
-Neo YORK. Hera6,
: An Euglishman related that being at
Eaples while taking tea with his wife, a
[ thunder bolt entered the chamber, md
the poor woman @nH reduced to dust.
"Ah, mon lruP' crud one of his
/, auditors, "what did you do what did you
, say p The Eugislman replied, ,coldly, Il
= rang, aud said. john sweep up your
mistress
I 1t always sound1 pretty to say The
p sun had sunk beneath the W. s'ern hnri-
| zon," hut moments r, Election shows
that that iE about the only horizon he
could sink beneath under the circum.
stances When he feels like sinking he
/ always selects the western horizon in this
. 81 ctlon - R0ctfSter Democrat.
On board one OF Her Ma vsty's ships q
certain lieutenant was intolerably addicted
| . 81. i,,,ki ,,F Ia
L tulated with by his superior officer, and
{ promised that he would mend his ways,
Il A few days later some Instructions that he
! had given were misunderstood by a sailor,
= and the accustomed oath was very nearly
i eaping to his lips lie restrained him
9 self aud merely made this remark: "You
t have tied granny's knot; God bless
t you You know what mean. "--L0ndon
% World
Q workman in Glasgow whose wife is a
it confirmed and violent drunkard has hit
g upon novel device for pacifying her and
~ protecting himself and family. Iu the
\ morning he passes q chain around her
- ankles as she lies in bed and secures the
chain with paddock. He then goes forth
to his daily work. On returning in the
evening he releases his captive and allows
Is her to remain at liberty until morning,
when he chains her up again. The
> neighbors have seen fit to interfere and to
n have him arrested, but as his wife has
+ acknowledged his persistent kindness to
a her in the face of her own garing mis-.
conduct the magistrate has dismissed him
q after admonishing him.
d The mischievous daughter of Phila-
10 delphia broker is at Saratoga. She went
'e into hotel barber shop to have hei
j. hair banged. After her locks had beer
l. clipped male friend took her place in the
10 chair. 'Let me shave you," she said
le "You don't dare to-" he replied. "Iti
n you that don't dare" "I'll bet l do.
f. 'sBet what ?" "a kiss" "All right. 1
ct you'll LET me shave you I'll finish with |
er kiss" The young man laid himself bacl
as in the chair and said, go ahead" The
ut girl did not hesitate. She worked uudel
as the barber's directions, and before crowt
to of hilarious spectators. The young maj
nj evidently liked it when she rubbed in tn
lather with her soft little hand, but whel
she came TO welding the razor he wa
subject to dreadful ordeal The DANCE
ut of cut throat was enough to appall TIA
he the stoutest heart, and added to that wa
ne the pain of the pulling and tearing by al
w unskilfully handled blade. Still he escape,
y. with few scratches, and got the kiss
N. coyly but squarely delivered.