The Portland daily press., 1880-03-22
INtW 1Ork IUst.I
A Neglected Point Of Etiquette

For the didactic literature of etiquette in
telligent men and women entertain feeling
not far removed from contempt, and there is
perfectly good reason for this doubtless. Books
of the class referred to very laboriously teach
two classes of things, namely things which all
tolerably well-bred persons have learned in
infancy, and things for which no tolerably
well-bred person cares. They solemnly enioin
attention on the one hand to the propriety of
eating with the fork, of using napkins at table,
and of keeping the hands and nails clean
things which to well-bred persons "oome by
nature''-and on the other hand they pains
cerning formalities which are entirely un-
worthy of the attention of serious persons.
There are too many books of this kind in ex-
istence, of course, but there is lack and need
of treatise upon etiquette still. There are
very important points in which large class of
men and women seem still to be uninstructed
and their lack of instruction is source of seri-
GUS annoyance, not to say injury, to their
fellowmen.
The coming work upon etiquette must teach,
for example, the truth that most persons in
our time have duties to attend to which re-
quire time, and that it as selfish and as vulgar
to take up ones time as it is to use ones postage
stamps, or money, or anything else that he
may place, in courtesy, at his guests disposal.
The necessity for emphasizing this truth is
made apparent to editors and professional and
business men every day by examples of mat
tention to it. Persons who would think them
selves disgraced if they were inadvertently to
seal letter sent by friend think nothing OF
sitting for a half hour or longer, in converSar
| ton in an Office or study whose occupant may
| be presumed to have real use for every minute
| of his time. These persons come upon busi-
ness, actual or pretended, and are received
| Courtesy and reason require that they shall
| for the transaction of that business. The fact
| that their host is courteous and invites them tC
/ sit down and converses with them without in.
| dicating by tone or manner his impatiencf
with their stay is, of course, no excuse fol
staying.
property-right in his privacy as in anything
| else that belongs to him; she might have
added that one has an equal right to the con
troll of his time. and any violation OF that righ
is both discourtesy and wrong. To argue
| that the person whose office is visited should
| frankly tell his visitor that he cannot spare
| the time necessary for a conversation is to re
quire him to protect himself against wronl
| by discourtesy. We dOnot regard ourselves a
entitled to pocket any small article in friend
house which he has not expressly pointed ou
as thing that he cannot conveniently spare
yet that is precisely what good many person
seem to require with respect to minutes, which
are usually less easily spared than parlor orna
ments would be.
We wish that this gospel Of respect for TIN
right of others to the undisturbed use of thei
time could be SO effectively preached that wan
of attention to it might be taken as proof of
want of breeding. When man has an offic
and leaves home to pass some hours in it ever
day the presumption that he has something +
occupy him there during all those hours is s
strong that it ought to be conclusive. Yet
conviction precisely the opposite of this ap
pears to be prevalent, and all professional mel
will hold in high regard the teacher who shal
remove it.