Smyrna times., 1880-08-04
Current Opinion.
PHILADELPHIA EvENING NEWS.


Sliding down stair railing i. going out Of
fashion in tirstclass society.
1t cost England $7j,O0oOOO TO learn Tint
the Atghans are home rulers.
fman Is "only little lower than the
angels, the angels should reform.
Two or three thicknesses of red flannel
around piece Of ice will keep the motifs
out.
Many enterprising noblemen are at
American Summer resorts, trying to trade
title for pretty face and fortune.
The Democrats now charge that Mrs.
Garfield smoothes her husbands hair with
an electric brush and calls him "papa."
"The man who is without enemies is un.
worthy Of friends " and the man who is
without friends is unworthy of enemies.
1t is not pleasant to be called nation of
tooacco-chewers, yet what would the god.
dess OF liberty do without any navy to,back-
'sr.
The demoralzing bang" is the latest
style. 1t Is copied from the head gear of
newly arrived guests Of the House of Cor,
rection.
A fashionable young lady of Boston
makes butter at her fathers country place.
She believes that one good churn deserves
another.
The good orator who demands pay for his
speeches is no better nor no worse than the
good farmer who demands pay for his
peaches.
1t mistake to suppose that newspaper
men print everything they know. If they
did posterity would not have much to be
proud of.
The French critic is Sarcey who says
When the Prince of Wales laughs at
theatrical performance, loyalty makes every
Briton laugh Also
Persons going to the country should re-
member that the pain caused by the bee
sting can be instantly relieved by jumping
into a mud puddle.
The number of lunatics at large is increas-
ing so rapidly that unless something is
done they will soon be putting the sane
people in the asylums.
The clerks in the patent Office at Wash
ington are hoping that Edison will catch
the hay fever or something SO that they
can get a weeks vacation.
Ladies who have purchased one of the
flaming red sun umbrellas should be care
full not to raise them in the presence of
COWS that never give milk.
When New York gentleman asks
young lady to accompany him ON a steam
boat excursion she now replies :" Ne
thank you; l can't swim"
The standard of culture is still very low.
1t is not tho newsboy with frst-class
paper but the organ grinder with the mon
key that rakes In the pennies.
1t is said that of one hundred patents
issued from the government office in Wash
ingtOn ninety.eight never pay back the
amount of fee to the owners. This is very
fortunate, for were it not the case the inr
VentoTs would have all the money IA tho
country.
SEASIDE AND GLEN.-Cape Mays new iron
pier will cost about SlO0,OO0 and is CON-
trScted to be finished by May, 1881. I6
will be SI8 feet long, and the main potion
81 feet wide, with sufficient depth OF water
for large vessels.
The baby elephant is now the attraction
at Saratoga, but is not SO beruffled and be-
frillsd aud belaced as the other aristocratio
babies there.
To participate in the hops at the Grand
Union, Saratoga, one has to be in full even
ing dress, and spectators are not allowed lh-
side the parlors.
A cuban family at one Of the Saratoga
hotels has weekly board bill of $780, rms
is for six adults, three children, two maius'
coachman and valet.
The Saratoga correspondent of the New
- N u - IL - thoro ore n1nra vain