Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-09-23
NATURAL HISTORY-THE BABY.
What animal is this ?

What animal ls thlsI
This is baby. He is now about three
years old, and at the wickedest point of his
career.
What country does the baby mostly inhabit?
He can be found in every inhabited coun.
try on the globe, the same as mosquitoes and
bols.
Can they be tanned?
Yes, quite easy. After g. little judicious
discipline they cease to struggle and become
subservient to the will of man.
Does baby eat grass?
Yes, or anything else They swallow pock-
et.knives, thimbles, buttons, spools, or any
other object little smaller than a tea'cup.
If offered milk they seldom refuse it.
I. Do they Craze during the day, or only at
night?
They are always grazing, paying not the
least heed to the hour. When not actually
eating they generally give utterance to pecu.
liar cry. Strong men often jump out of bed
at midnight in the coldest weather when hear
ing that cry.
What meaning is attached to this cry?
Men of deepest thought have agreed that it
signifies to wake up the neighborhood and
have some fun.
Ofwhat benefit to mankind is domesti-
Gated baby?
They are of no earthly account for the first
few Years, but by and by they can slide down
hill on cellar door and carry articles out of
the house and trade for wooden sword, or
lose them in the grass.
Do you know of any instance where the
baby has attacked the household and killed
or injured any one?
Such instances have been related by such
eminent naturalists as George Francis Train
and Texas Jack, but we don't put much faith
in them. However, if the baby was mali.
ciously provoked, there's no knowing what it
might do.
Are they healthy animal?
No; on the contrary, no druggist could
make enough profit in year to buy him pair
of Artic overshoes but for the presence of a
baby in every household. There is hardly
an hour in the day that the baby does not
demand peppermint, paregoric, ipicac, or
something else costing money.
What machinery is made use of to compel
the baby to take a dose Of castor oil?
There are several patent machines for the
purpose, but most people follow the rule of
knocking him senseless, and getting the dose
into his mouth before he recovers.
Is the bald-headed baby more domestic
than others.
Not a bit. He kicks around after the
same fashion, and has even worse time
fighting flies and mosquitoes.
What music do they seem to prefer.
A base drum is their first choice, but they
have a heavy leaning toward the sound Of
the stove.handle knocking the nose of the
pitcher with the emptyiugs in it.
This is all about the baby. Take another
look at him, for next week we shall write
about some other reptile.-Detron Free Press.
AN ODD BUSINESS. are all sorts Of
ways of making living (and some money!
in New York. One of the oldest was set
forth at some length the other day by re.
porter. He had run across place where Or
ders were taken to call people who want to
rise early, but cannot depend on themselves
to wake up. The charge for this service is
ten cents a call, except when the order is for
daily calls, and then it is fifty cents week.
The calling is done by boys employed for the
purpose, and the boy who goes to call man
must see to it that the man is wide awake be-
fore he leaves. If Tom Brown wants to be
up at six o'clock in the morning, an order left
at the office the night before will be attended
to as promptly for ten cents as if the fee was
FIVE dollars, and if Tom does not get out of
bed at FIVE, the boy who comes to yell at him
will know why.
At the same Office, they take orders for es-
corts for women who want to be out in the
evening" The boy is notified to call at a
certain place for certain lady at certain