Helena weekly herald. [volume] (Helena, Mont.) 1867-1900, 1880-03-11
MIR. AND Mrs. PARADOX
Indulge In a Little Discussion Upon Mat.
ters of u Serious Nature.

Indulge In q Little Discussion Upon Ma
ters of u Serious Nature.
. ''Only three short years since we furnishe
: this parlor together" said Mrs. Paradox
;. land now"
: "Yes now!" echoed Mr.. Paradox, rese
Iulcly thrusting his hands deep down in hi
trousers pockets. Things are altered now
Abba Jane"
''Only three years." said Mrs. Paradox
sorrowfully.
, ''Three years of cat and dog quarreling,
commented the husband grimly. .z.
''YOu said the pink damask window cur
tains were just the color of my cheeks !!
J Ialtered Mrs. ParI1ox. ~ >,
"And even then, if you'll be good enough
to recall the fact to your memory, Mrs. p,
remarked her husband, ''we couldn't agree
as to the pattern of the parlor carpet, no
whether the walls should be kalsomined o.
i papered." ..
'sWe never have agreed" said Mrs. Para
dox, with pursed-up lips.
''And we never shall!" said Mr.. Paradox
Perhaps it's better on the whole, that we
are to separate, : said the lady.
.Oh, altogether" acquiesced the gentle.
man, rattlng the pennies inditferently in his
pocket. '-1
"We never were suited to another" sighed
Mrs. Paradox. Ia.
Couldn't have been worse matched if we
had tried for it." remarked her husband
.sIt's pity we hadn't found it out before
we were married" said Mrs. Paradox.
''Better late than never" said Mrs. Para
| dox .....'..
"You said you loved me-" said Mrs. Para
dox.
"Well, Thought did," LIB
| IL might have known that men were de-
ceivers ever" quoted the wife.
''Oh, come now, Abby Jane, that isn't
fair" said Mr. Paradox. ''Our first quarrel
| was when you turned Rover out of the parlor
the old Newfoundland that had saved my
| life."
ssNo it wasn't!" said Abby Jane. with
spirit. 1T was when you called my aunt
Anastasia an old BORE" and said you
wouldn't take her to the evening prayer meet
ing My aunt Anastasia, with property in
government bonds and temper like an
angel's!" ~,
''but you seem to have forgotten that you
treated my friend Dickens as if he had been
house breaker, when I brought him unex-
pected to dinner!"
"You refused to take me to Saratoga, when
DR.. Dodkins said that the waters were essen
tial to nv health !" flashed out the lady.
''You wouldn' consent to have my mother
come and live with u.s." retorted Mr.. Para
dox, twitching his moustache.
s'If your mothers temper was half as bad
as yours" began Mrs. Paradox, flushing to
the very roots of her hair.
s'There you 90 again!' said Mr.. Paradox,
beginning to pace savagely up and down the
room 'Who on earth could be expected to
put up with this sort of thing9" .u
you'll not have to put up with it much
longer" said Mrs. Paradox drawing herself
s'Thank goodness, no !" said Mr.. Paradox
"The lawyers will arrange all that" enun-
ciated the lady. sa..s.
1.-THE sooner the better" said her husband.
''Of course it will make dreadful scandal
me going home to mamma, and all, taitered
Mrs. Paradox. -...f .4E .,....
s'Not at all said Mr.. Paradox. 'Separa-
tions are common things nowadays, ",.I
'And dare say" cried out his wife, 'that
as soon as you get to Nova Scotia, or whel-
ever the horrid place is that you're going to, |
you'll be making love to some other wOmaD!''
mot II" said Mr.. Paradox, quite unmoved |
by his spouse's tannts. 'Ive had quite
enough of that sort of thing, thank you'll"
'Here's the lawyer coming to draw up the
said Mrs. Paradox, looking out from
between the rose colored damask curtains,
land I'm glad of it." .5,...,r ..a |
$50 am II" said Mr.. Paradox, with flinty
hearted callousness.
YOU'RE brute!" cried the wife. 1a
$50 you have often remarked before. !" said
the husband, biting off the end of cigar.
''That's no reason why you should insult
me by smoking in my presence" /
''Do not be afraid madam-you have al
ready taken sufficient opportunity to inform
me of your aversion to my habits.
And only the entrance OF the lawyer sut-
feed to arrest impending hostilities.
1t was quite true. MIR. and Mrs. Paradox,
after a union of three years, had agreed that
hey couldn't agree, and were to sign legal
separation. It was altogether the best thing
in fact the only one, they mutually decided.
It had been scold, scold, carp carp, fret,
fret ever since they had walked ont of the
church porch. Domestic peace had long ago
folded her wings ard floated out of the win
low love and tender sympathy had shrunk,
startled away. And at the end of three years
friends had been called in council, solemn
session of relatives had been held, and MIR.
md Mrs. Paradox were going to separate.
".You're sure you don't care for her, Louis?'
oaradox's dearest friend and college chum
lad said to him. fco Ii
At'Oh, that's quite thing of the past, said
PARADOX, with shrug of the shoulders. Ii
"You have ceased to love him, dear ?"
frs. Paradox's mother queetioned her child
''Oh, mamma, long sgo!" declared poor
title Abbey Jane, with streaming eyes. %
30 the papers were signed, and Mr.. and a
drs. Paradox separated In good earnest Q
Abbey Jane went back to the maternal home j
nd Mr. Paradox took up his quarters in 6
otei until he could arrange for his final de- 2
a:ture to the Dominion of Canada. .