Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1880-11-20
A Little Lecture by am Old
Maid of the World.

get out again. There are thousands
of ways for the former; but as for
the latter, it can't be done. no
ways Take my advice, my dears
never believe man before MAJ
riage, and never trust him after
it, If men. my dear5, were to pay,
ike servants, for everything they
broke, they wouldn't be so fond
OF breaking their hearts for every
pretty girl they saw. The fortune
of Rothschild couldn' stand, my
dears, against such ruinous
amount of breakages. Why, /
have known mans heart to
break as often as an American
bank, and yet he would open the
next day with the same brass
plate on his face. on which you
could plainly read assurance"
and his heart go on issuing the
same amount of false notes as be-
fore. Besides, what becomes of
all their broken hearts, / should
like to know? Where do they all
go to? Along with the old moons,
suppose, or they may be keep
ing company, there's no knowing
where, with all the pins that are
lost, each heart being stuck thro'
with q pin, like the curious insects
in a museum. There is no need
to tell you, am sure, my dears,
about choosing husband. A wo-
mans instinct generally guides
her in those little matters. But
this / will tell you, that husbands
differ as much as geese; but the
softest mind is not always the
worst. The softer your husband
the more pliable you will find
him; and all the easier for you to
twist him around your little finger.
If husbands trusted more to their
wives and less to themselves,t there
would be more happy marriages;
but until they learn what is due
to our sex, and are fully prepared
to Fay it, that happy balance will
never exist in a household, which
to the husband should be a source
of as much Joy as large balance
is at his bankers; but at present
the wife is not allowed to have
any share of interest in the one or
to participate in the other. / will
conclude, my dears, with giving
you few rules with regard to the
choice of husbands In general; and
though, my.dears, / have never
ventured on the stormy seas OF
matrimony myself there the fair
lecturers voice slightly trembled
with emotion). still / have watch
ed from this haven of single bless
edness many of the squalls and
breezes that have derived no small
knowledge from the numerous
shipwrecks. / have witnessed in
consequence Of them, and this
knowledge / am only willing to
impart to all those who are anx.
ious to embark for tho United
States.
l shall confine my observations,
my dears, to the small circle of
my experience of men, such as /
have studied round the tea table.
If a man wipes his feet on the
door mat before coming into the
room, you may be sure he will
make a good domestic husband.
If a man puts his handkerchief on
his knees while taking his tea,
you may be sure he will be a pru-
dent husband. In the same way
always mistrust a man who will
not take the last piece of toast, but
prefers waiting for the next warm
batch. 1t is not unlikely he will
make a greedy, selfish husband.
with whom you will enjoy no
"brown" at dinner, no crust at
tea, no peace whatever at home.
The man, my dears, who wears
| overshoes and is careful about
wrapping himself we'll before ven
turing into the night air, not I'M
frequently makes a good invalid
husband that mostly stops al
home and Is easily comforted with
slop. The man who watches the
kettle and prevents its boiling
over, will not fail, my dears, in
his married state in exercising the
same care in always keeping the
pot boiling. The man who doesn't
take tea. ill-treats the cats, takes
snuff and stands with his back to
the fire is brute whom | would
not advise you, my dears, TO mar
ry upon any consideration, either
for love or money, but most de-
cidedly not for love. But the man
who, when the tea is over, is dis
covered to have had none, is sure
to make the. best husband. Pa
thence like his deserves being re-
Warded with the best of wives and
the best of mother-in-laWs. My
deais, when you meet with such a
man, do your utmost to marry
him. In the severest winter be
would not mind going to bed first.
| Here lhe lecturer concluded, and
L. L..