The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1880-09-16
An Insinuating Land Agent.

At the hotel where we STAYED we
found seedy-looking man talking to
the landlord. Judging by the elastic
character of the tales the seedy man
was telling 1 supposed he was an insur-
ance agent. The landlord introduced
him to us. l asked him what company
he represented, which led to mutual
explanations. He said he was real
estate agent. He had lands to sell in
every county in the State, in lots to suit
customers, from an eleven-league grant
to lot in graveyard. He wanted to
know if we were prospecting for land.
Intimated that we would not mind buy
ing ranch or two if the location and
price would suit.
In the most enthusiastic manner and
with extravaganza gestures he told me of
several tracts and leagues of land where
the grass was absolutely offensive in its
luxuriance, and where murmuring
streams supplied countless herds with
refreshing water. He spoke of fields
burdened with golden grain, the silken
plunes of the waving corn and the en-
erald green of the sugar cane-pictures
which would delight the eye of an art
lst. Such timbered shelter as he de-
scribed! Where cows lived and flour
lshed until they were SO old that the
yearly wrinkles covered their horns to
the very tips, making it necessary in
some cases to attach corn cobs for the
wrinkles to grow out on. He told us of
farms where the fences would last until
our grandchildren would be .decrepit
with age and where Che corn grew so
!uxuriantly that they used the stalks
for wagon tongues. Everything he had
for sale was cheap and the terms easy.
% Beautiful, sir-just the thing to
suit you-exactly what you want-a
small payments down--balance five year
y payment-ten per cent. Interest,"
He did not stop or give us chance to
say word for two hours. His harangue
was one of the most intensely gorgeous
pieces of brass-mounted mendacity. i
ever listened to. Recognizing that he
was an interested party, was prepared
to receive his statements cum grano
sails, as the Irish say, but I was not
prepared to meet such fluent and vol
luminous liar. Shades of Homer, Mum
chausen and Monte Christie! What a
gorgeous imagination that land AGENT
mad II any one has lily to paint, or
fine gold to gid, he is the one to do it.
his description of Canadian thistle
would leave the impression that YOU
bad been listening to a full and detailed
description of one of the cedars of
Lebanon. His intimation that the
wealth and treasures of the Indies were
but mere bagatelle-the wealth of a
church mouse, in fact-when compared
with the latent riches lying hid in the
soil and awaiting to be appropriated by
the transplanted Fenian and Teutonic
exile-was decidedly neat and crafty
ing.
All lands offered for sale by real es-
tate agents are rich and fruitful. II
there are rocks on it why it is all the
more valuable. You can pick up the
rocks and build such fine everlasting
fences with them. If you object to the
timber the agent will demonstrate to
you that the timber is more valuable
than the land. If you hesitate, because
there is no timber, he will prove to you
that the amount you save by not having
to cut down timber is more than the
price he asks for the farm. The land is
well watered. Springs and brooks MUIR
muir and meander all through it.-Cor.
Boston Post.