The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1880-11-19
PFBLIC TALK.

actuateu Dy uIsier1or mOt1ye5. --I'ItiL-
tieI11lltU BuLLetin.
II death loves n shining mark, why
doesn't he 90 for the political torch
light procession ?
Cider is very cheap In New Eng
land, and the men Of that section are
enjoying good apple tights.
Bears are so plentiful IN Michigan
that the hunters have tried 10 bear
the venison market.--Eero Orleans
Ptca5atae.
1t Is not necessary for church
choir TO go through y pine forest in
order to get the right pitch. Boston
Courier
A Pittsburg girl has been fright
ened to death by dream. Pittsburg
mince pie must be tremendous. -Bos-
Ton Post.
Marshal Bazaine exclaims 10 the
world, 81 am not dead, l am not
dead" Still there are people who
believe he is dead.
Every printer is galley slave
Yonkers Ga>ette. Yes, and his wife Is
the gal he slaves fer-Bosfon Com
merciaL bulletin.
A New Yorker recently bit chunk
out Of a Chicago mans cheek. He
Is used TO chawing up cannon balls
and such. -BostO,. Post.
Horace Love married his living
wife's sister at Denman, Ga., and
goes to prison for bigamy. lie loved
not wisely but two sisters. .--BpGalo
Express.
Bad as thing Is, it may be worse.
4 bulbous nose Isnot a pretty feature,
but IL is not improved by being brok-
en-, though 1t may be made Jess prom
inent.
A Philadelphia man who detected
n piece of bark in his sausage, visited
the butcher shop to know what had
become OF the rest Of the dog. PHIL
adel,,Lia Chronicle. Herald.
The villager who won't take sides
in quarrel between two neighbors
draws the ire of both, where he could
have escaped with the enmity Of one
| DetToH FREE I>Tess.
No one has yet succeeded in dis
covering the North Pole, and 1t Is now
suspected that the Esquimoux' chopped
1t up for kindling wood years ago.
Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
Poets should chip in and erect a
monument TO the men who invented
the names of the months. Where
would they be II he had not put in
September to rhyiRe with remember.
.NoTristo,cn HeraA.
A young lady OF two-aud-twenty
refused 10 wed a man of fifty, saying
that he was neither one thing nor yet
another. lie was too old for hus-
band and too young 10 hold out any
hope OF immediate widowhood.
French fashion journals assert that
Of late years all the eccentric styles
Of dress brought out in Paris have
heen planned to satisfy the tastes o.
the women of other countries, espec'
tally the Russians aud Americans.
T.. c. Stedman says Of Walt Whit
man in the November number o
Scribner "Otse were more widely
, read, but who else has been so talked
/ of, and who has held even few read
I ers with so absolute q sway ?''
Paris elegants are copying the Eng
r lish fashion of wearing furs when /
e is cold, without any regard to tn
G date in the almanac. An EngliSl
3 woman never sees any incongruit.
( in wearing seal jacket with he
e muslin gown, bless her!
Daniel Gardner, '.the oldest Iivini
: circus clown" died at Atlanta City
n. j., recently, aged sixty-four. H
i could remember back to the tim
: when some of the jokes now in US
. by his profession were not over 10
Years old. --Bostcn Post.
AIphonso Karr once sent a letter
friend which contained only q moi
Of? The answer was-0. The mean
l. ing of these notes was, "What
there new ?'' and tNothirg." Tt
: : brevity of wit could not be carrie
- much further.
IL ssAIy case is just here" said cit
z zen to lawyer the other day; ";h
er plaintiff will swear that hit him.
r. will swear that l did not. Now, VIII
can you lawyers make out Of that
wego to trials" ''Five dollars apiece,
ne was the prompt reply.
d. An exchange lheads an article g
Woman Turned TO Stone" We ha'
id not time to read the article to disco
he er when she turned to stone, but l
no doubt it was some fellow who advers
M ly criticised her back hair or bustl
N. or something that way. --Norristou
of Herald
ID ttNo, marm," said the shoe deale
tsT would like to give you a small
of pair, but to sell you anything belo
'r. eights would render me liable und'
in the statute for the prevention OF or
n city to animals" He didn't sell b.
n anything under eights or over
lit Some women are so touchy about It
Id size of their feet. BOSTON Trdnsc'Ip
ell That once admired garment, Il
ed jersey, is happily, says the ParisiG
I'll going out of fashion. "The Princes
ly of Wales discovered that circus won
n, en- had worn them from time imm
as mortal, and that was the end of I'll
II, jersey. When a woman is youu
IS and we'll made the jersey is simp
IS unbecoming when women hi
Id suffered from irreparable cutrages
ia time the jersey is worn still"
H.
q "IM son of gun from California
20 shonted desperado with an emino