The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1880-12-22
CHRISTMAS nUMoR.

CHRISTMAS nUMOR.
TuE muas that children ere anxious to
get into-Christmus.
As the Christmas tree is bent so is
tho youthful heart made glad.
CHRlsrstAs is the anniversary Of dys.
pepsiA's fowlest conspiracy against COM
Tort.
HOSE mora despised by little children
than the man WHO t,.kes no stoclin' Santa
Clausp
RENEsBER the barber, tho bootblack
and the bartender --AdVice 70 Bach
elors.
SOM folksw will hang up their stockings
Christmas eve, and some will hang up
the bartender.
TuE man who takes unto himself wife
on Christmas eve will be sure TO have
well-hlled stockings.
lris said that child born on Christ
mas will always hato turkey and goose,
and loan towards goldfish aud bacon.
The small hoy now puts in eight hours
a day tlattening his hose against the
windows of confectionery and toy stores.
els Hrlss KipSls alive papal"
The small boy said,
Z" All! yes, and 'Hcking'n
Said ilc iamily's head.
CHRISTMAS is rapidly coming this way,
and the young man with No..9 foot
will, as usual, be presented with pair u
No. slippers.
LISTEN 10 the sleieh-bclls jingle!
/. sesihe merry v-lakcs mingei.
| - How H. inakCs our liil -blnsd tinIs!
A Royal welcome " old Kriss Crlnglei
IF you really desire to perpetrate
practical joke upon your printer this
year just send him the amount Of your
subscription on Christmas.
WHAT time the holidays roll round,
The ba, boy, still in frocks,
Led by the ear, IL bis nla draws near,
And stue,h his Christmas box.
CHANG up the baby's stocking"
shouts the Hackensack Republican. We
want it distinctly understood that We
haven't any such appendagcs.
A YOUNG man who gave his girl n $75
gold watch last Christmas, married her
during the summer, and now he thinks
tho present was "time" well spent.
Now comes the season when the young
man, on an eight dollar salary, bothers
his brains to raise the stamps to get his
girl twenty dollar holiday present.
Kansas city Times.
CuR1sTMAs falls on Saturday this Scar,
and severe storms are predicted. The
storm will likely break when the young
sters wake up and find their stockings
filled with chunks Of coal.
The morning dawns, and the house.
hold is awakened by the sound Of drum
and fife. Butitisnotwar. tits notthe sum
mons to go out and slaughter the Zulus.
Nay, brethren, it is Christmas. -Mcw
YORK Express.
'MA,ntA," said the little one, edo you
know what you .,1, are going to give me for
er, "of course I know" "Well, for mer-
cy's sake, don't tell me-" responded the
puss with great vehemence.
AS CHRIsrMAs approaches, the young
man who has been toasting his toes, and
lounging on the best parlor sofa, begins
to try and get up quarrel with his
young girl SO as to escape bankrupting
himself on Christmas present.
Baltimore Ese,y Saturday.
SnE tripped DER the sushy crossing,
And The wind that Gerroly blew.
An inch or 80 Of her ankle
Exposed 10 the public view.
The officer OIL the next corner
Yves oistincty heard 10 say,
That's the incest thing In 4 stocking
have seen this Christmas day."
"siSs aye the merry IuI,tietoe,
Tia merry, merry nilGtlotoe,
Tho merry, merry mistetoe,
Tne nllStlctoe bolgh,h
Now comes Christmas TO remind us We
may make our lives sublime, and depart
ing, leave behind us scores of slippers.
numbered '.nine. "-Stillwater Lumber.
man. Slippers that perhaps another
who shall in your footsteps tread-a pre-
felTed and bigger brother-may wish
they were "tens" instead. Rome Senti-
mel. Slippers that perhaps a mother,
striving hard TO make ends meet, will use
upon your wild young brother, because
he won't keep off the street.
In Scotland, except among Catholics
and Church Of England people, Christ
mas is scarcely noticed, Other denomi-
nations who notice the season, defer thp
reioiciugs to Twelfth (old Christmas) day
A Scotchman, who was asked how Christ
inns was spent in his country, replied:
'Hoot, ava, mon, we dinna mind the
Yule-the Christmas ye CO it, mon. A.
we mind is New Years Day; and then
every mon who can afford gets drunk"
"OH, YES, wait till Christmas" " snarled
the youthful scion, 'that's always the
way. II want o new sled, wait till
Christmas; a pair Of skates, wait till
Christmas, / waited last year, end
didn't get sled or skates either. Nothing
but book with red cover and little
baby card with verses onto it. Christ.
mas is fraud. Boys nsver get nothing
they want" and he mentally resolved
that he would write to tbs @7Sident and
have him omit his Christina! proclama-
tion this year.