Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-12-03
Current Wit and Fun.
Well wishers-Thirsty travellers.

Well wlshers-lhlrSty travellers.
/ An undertaken gets his living where
another man dies.
! Could not the doctors fee be justly
called ill-gotten gains?
! L. J. Campbell, blind Englishman,
has successfully made the ascent OF Mt.
Blanc.
ono tick here" would be two
edged sword in watchmaker's estab-
lishment.
! Going to law is very much like skin
ming a new mich COW for the hide and
giving the meat to the lawyers.
"Yes.' said Johnny, "lapsus may
tie the Latin for Slip but when moth
er laps Us it usually means slipper"
A miser is said to have put cork
into the nozzle of the bellows, after
kindling fire, to save the little wind
there was left in it.
A little girl. noticing the glittering
gold filling in her nunt's front teeth,
exclaimed: "Aunt Mary, l wish I had
coppertoed teeth like yours.
Diet, but not die yet. Don't despise
the lowly; the under Jaw does all the
work. Riches take wings, and the man
who bought on a mortgage says he has
seen house fly.
Nowadays it is impossible to listen to
the conversation of half dozen young
society people without feeling that the
American language should be more APP
propriately called the American SLAM
guage.
The Princess OF Wales, when at Sand
bingham, has little tea parties for which
she herself makes the butter in silver
churn and spreads it on slices of bread,
which she cuts with her own hands.
chintz dress and little white apron.
A little fellow, turning over the
leaves of scrap-book, came across the
well-known picture of some chickens
Just out of the shell. He examined
the picture carefully, and then, with a
grave, sagacious look, slowly remarked:
They came out cos they was afraid of
being boiled
W. II. Mallock, the author of "The
New Republic and SIS Life Worth
Living 2" is sailow, dark-haired man
of thirty -fve. He has retiring man
ners, and is sort of reeluse, devotiRg
himself entirely to reading and study.
He does not look robust, and has the
stoop of excessive application.
The story is told at Williamsport,
Pa, CT young man who went to the
Black Hills to seek his fortune, and
wrote back to his father that he had
done we'll: Il will be home on We'd
nesday evening. Meet me at dark inst
out of town, aud bring blanket or a
whole pair of trousers with you. l
have hat"
IMP. L. Barnum's residence at q" Wal
demere," Bridgeport, there is one room
called the Greeley room, because Hor-
ace Greeley occupied it week not
long before his death. Another room
is known as tine Cary room, because it
was occupied by the Cary sisters, Alice
and Phoebe, and still another as Mark
Twain's room, because Mr.. Samuel
Clemens and wife usually use it when
visiting Mr.. and Mrs. Barnum.
A New Hampshire woman has hus-
band who is addicted to joining secret
societies. One of her exasperated out
bursts is thus reported by the Manches-
ter Mirror: "Jine He'd jine any
thing. There can't nothing come along
that's dark and sly and hidden, but he'll
jine. it. If anybody should get up
society to burn his house down. he'd
jine it just as soon as he could get in,
and if he had to pay to get in he'd jine
all the suddener."