The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-02-04
VYAIFS AND WHINfSs

How to get along well in the world
hire man with an anger or drill to
bore one for YOU.
QUICKER than pounds of powder will
rive an ordinary rock, you can blast a
I great reputation with one ounce of
scandal.
Do not intersperse your language with
foreign words and high-sounding terms.
1t shows afectatiOn, and will draw ridi-
cule upon yon.
IT is said that pie is disappearing
from American restaurants; but, thank
heaven, there is a resource left in the
printing Office.
The Individual who wrote, 40, Soli-
tude, where are thy charms" was a
business. man who didn't advertise
Canciaaa6 SQtaTdGy Malt.
A MAN has no more right to say An
uncivil thing than to act one; no more
right to say a rude rnIng to another
than to knoCk him down.
II is said that the Bureau Of Engfa7.
ing has not a single ten dollar bill IN Its
reserve stock. Singular coincidence.
Neither have we.-ROckJaad Courier.
WHEN the bee stung the Professor q
entomology, he remarked, % Well, like
Entomology, but can't Say that adj
mire these end-to theological Jokes y
GteubenciHe Herad
SOME persons ere capable of making
great sacrifices, but few are capable Of
cOncealing how much the effort has cost
them and it ia this conEealmebt that
constitutes their value.
THE powers of the mind, when they
are unbound and expanded by the
sunshine Of felicity, more frequently
luxuriate into follies than blossom into
goodness.
Do not carry on conversation with
another In Company about mattevs
which the general company know
nothing Of. It is almost as impolite a
to whisper. ....
THE New Orleans Pjcdyiia6 notes that
among the most curious things to 90
seen in the city is an ulster with Gig
arctic; standing in front OF theatres on
matinee days.
A WOMAN's newspaper has been
started in Paris. 1t is called Woman,
and is designed to promote the interests
of working women, particularly in
the direction of moral and physical
culture.
THE reason why we object to woman
suffrage is becatse they would vote in
discriminatory. They would Join
neither party; all they would want IS
plenty of candidates.
THE katydid does all her singing with
her legs. Now if the young man Who
sits behind you at the concert and huns
the tenot softly. we're comp elled TO do
all his singing by rubbing the soles of
his feet together, how happy you Woild
be. And he? Oh, he would sing about
as well as he does now, and the musical
world wouldn't miss him at all
MAX STRAKosCH says thSt mis- pre-
miere artistic is the greatest living
dramatic prima DONNA" and that she
1&s had the entire sway of the dra-
matte repertoire in Europe for the last
five years." whatever that may mean,
and that she is now in the zenith of
her power and unites with the most
voice the talent of a superb
The earliest records of the worlds
history bear testimony to instances OF
the successful practice of medicine by
women. Between the eleventh and
uuired widespread renown as teachers |
in the great school of SalernO. In tho |
succeeding centuries many female ply
sicians held professional chairs in the |
universities of Italy, especially that of |
Bologna, !
JUST as everybody was settling down |
to enjoy themselves as a party the other |
evening, Master Jimmie appeared in the |
room with, "Ain't you folks hungry? |
Guess you haven't been saving up your
for two days as l and moth"
The broad and generous hand of his |
mother suddenly stopped his cOnversS- !
tion trap, and he had to save his ape.
tite until morning, when it was satisfied |
with broken bits of Jelly cake left over.
PRINCE NAPOLEON, the Gaulois |
says, waited on the Empress Eugene |
during her short stay in Paris. On |
learning of her arrival, ne sent to ask i
at what hour he could be received, to
which the Empress replied: "Imme-
diately" On being introduced he |
kissed her Maiesty's hand. The con-
versation turned solely on the painful |
bereavement of the Empress. The
Prince had no time to bring his son with
him, and expressed his regrets. The /
Empress replied: "If return through
France, shall see your sons with
pleasureW The interview was marked
by extreme cOrdiality; but the Empress,
after the departure of the Prince, was
greatly affected by the recollections re-
Vived, and was in prayer before the
s1OrAraii of bar CON v1Lar 4ba Driroass /