The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1880-05-20

Young Paterfamilias' Experience.
The sentiments Of most young men
before being married are that they
would not take any amount of money
and drive baby carriage along the
streets. They quickly, however, get
over this notion, as after the 'heir APP
parent" makes his appearance they
must either carry him in their arms or
drive him in the baby carriage, and, of
course, the latter is deemed the more
respectable way of taking him about.
The first day out with baby is day
long to be remembered by the youthful
paterfamilias. He asks his wife to come
down the back streets, but she, poor
thing, after her long confinement to
the house, is anxious to know what is
going on in the world, and what styles
of dresses are on exhibition in the shop
windows. She accordingly insists on
doing King street, just the very place
where she can see the newest thing in
dry-goods, and also where she can with
pardonable pride exhibit her baby to any
OF her friends whom she may chance
to meet. The husband thinks this is
"pretty tough" but so long as his wife
walks alongside of him to take charge
OF the baby in case anything should
happen that would cause him to cry, the
poor man feels tolerably easy, and trusts
TO his good fortune that none of his
friends will run across him and see
him in what he considers a most
humiliating position. After reaching
that part of King street where dry
goods stores are plentiful, the lady i'm
mediately orders halt, and taking up
q position at q large plate-glass win
dow, begins with critical eve to scan
the various patterns and styles on exhi-
bition. The husband tries 10 keep close
up to her, but the afternoon being fine,
and large number of ladies out shop
ping, he finds this to be a somewhat
difficult task, as these ladies, with that
curiosity which is so natural to them
when they see any one looking into
shop window, must needs stop and
have look in, too. He accordingly
endeavors to get the carriage over to
the edge of the sidewalk, at the same
time entreating his wife to hurry"
She, however, has seen something
that she likes amazingly, and,
of course, although she doesn't
want to buy to-day, makes up her mind
to 60 inside and inquire the price. I'm
thinkingly, therefore, she leaves her
husband, who is vainly trying to get
the carriage somewhere out of the way
of the passers-by, to shift for himself.
Meanwhile the crowd increases, and
the baby carriage appears to be in ev-
erybody's way. One elderly-looking
female of a decidedly old-maidish ap-
pearance, and against whose dress one
Of the muddy wheels has rubbed, Looks
daggers at him, and says he should be
arrested for driving his carriage on the
walk. He begins to think so, too, as
really he should never have come on
King street at all; but he consoles him.
self with the thought that. if he knows
himself, he won't be caught in the same
fix again. The minutes keep dragging
on, while he walks up and down in front
of the store waiting his wife's reap
pearance, but "she cometh not, he
said," and so half an hour slips BY, and
he has made up his mind either to take
up position in the gutter or else go
home at once, when the baby exhibits
some signs of uneasiness, and in q few
minutes breaks out into q loud bawl.
This is more than human patience
ought to be called on to endure, so he
seeks the other side of the street, where
ko hnn =
vitingly open, and where he thinks he
can hide himself until his wife comes
out. Getting the carriage over the
street, however, is no easy matter, with
the mud, the street-car rails. the con-
stantly passing carriages and farmers
teams and express wagons and the vari-
GUS other turnouts that may be seen on
King street any afternoon. He gets
over safely at last, but there is not much
rest for him here, either, as the baby
has now become perfectly hysterical at
not being taken up and petted and
kissed and brought round to good
humor again. In vain the wretched
man tries to soothe him, but he doesn' t
know how, and the baby doubles up his
little fists and sticks them to his eyes as
if forcing the tears to come, and then
shakes them in his fathers face, who
can only say, "Oh, let up, there's a
good boy" or "Oh, shut up, what 8
the matter with you." rs If q baby
would stop crying for being talked to
in that way.
In the shop across the road the good
wife has looked through all the newest
goods. and after putting the clerk to
the trouble of emptying dozen shelves,
blandly informs him that she will call
again soon. She then goes over to an
other department and purchases spool
of thread, and is just going to favor the
millinery room with her presence when
all at once she thinks of the baby and
her husband outside. and her tender,
motherly sympathy being aroused at
having neglected them so long, she
astonishes the clerks by the rapidity
with which she gets to the door and
across the street, where she sees her
husband standing in the hallway, look
ing the picture Of abject misery. He
is so glad to see her that he forgets to
give her "the piece of his mind'' he
had in store when she should come out
It is but the work of q moment to lift
baby up, and in few more minutes he
is Growing just as enthusiastically as he
was yelling before his mother came to
him. On the way home this young
husband gives his wife the first lecture
of their married life, and among other
things points out to her that in future
when she goes out for walk if she de-
sires his company she must leave the
baby in charge of some one till they re-
turn. To this she will not consent, as
of the two she prefers her baby's COM
pany. The breach, however, is soon
healed after their arrival home, and the
husband wonders as he dances his boy
up and down on his knee, "Can this be
the same boy who was kicking up such
an awful row ON King street?'' All,
young man, although once in while
you may get into an awkward position
with your baby carriage, yet how you
would grieve and fret if the little occu-
pant were taken away from you; and
v0, novor afOn tn think how MANI