Richland beacon., 1880-10-23
STARVING TO WIN A WIFE.


STARVING TO WIN A WIFE.
1t was July afternoon. Three men
sat on the veranda of the village hotel
Their feet were on the balcony railing,
their chairs were tilted back and they
were tanning themselves.
These men we're Judge Barron, County
Judge, Parson Miller and Col. Gherkins,
aretired militia officer, on no pay. Not
,ss-one Of them would see his 5Oth birth
dAy, for they had passed it. Speaking
of fasting" said the Judge, breaking q
long silence.
b. "Hasnt been mentioned" {" snarled the
m Colonel, interrupting.
ss The Judge dropped his chair squarely
down on its four legs, and looked saw
agely ct the Colonel The Colonel re-
turned the look and snapped his fingers
contemptuOusly.
Don't be boys |" urged the minister
with SMILE He smiled because he
knew the fiery but harmless ways Of the
gentlemen.
-. ."'.Well, we are too old for this sort of
- thing. said the Judge, leaning back
again. "But, speaking Of fasting-I
will have it that way-reminds me Of
my attempt at suicide"
"N VIA in the papers. said Gherkins,
stopping his tanning long enough to
glance sideways at the other.
"It was," admitted the Judge, "but
it doesn't signify now, over twenty-five
years afterward."
r, "Humph F." gruntcd the Colonel.
81 was in love. DOCTOR" and the
Judge turned his face toward the min-
.- lister.
1, "Thnt is what he thought" observed
he Colonel, with o cackle, half cough
and half laugh.
with q girl, continued Barron.
"Well added !" cried Gherkins.
"Though the tendency Of young men
is. we know, to fall in love with old
- slaA, - yqn well knox. Colonel,
- u jig Somsnso fall 10 love with old
~ - a old rs I am" shoused the
Blonel
.SNot ts Afteen years" exclaimed the
Judge. "But you take my remark as
personal" ~. =,
"Tha4S the ysy you meant to have it
tsksA, I 1nox, /" growled the unamiable
old man.
$50 yoa enght," said the Judge.
~~"But never mind thst Ifeii in love.
That means to be miserable. At % one
has lsye a. -one hss the. measles, Sc
xSnelv an over. as a matter Of business. "
whsn f~.s boy !" sidenlb began
~ Il Coionel.
~ Why, that is ancient history" cried
Barron.
p q The Colonel said something in ar
uudertone, and lighted cigar.
IT had always been in love with Miss
Ion Dexter" continued the Judge. 81
heoan 70 suffe- when I was in round
.bouts. was sort of duplex, back
action. extra-elastic passion. I suppose
made o fool of myself. Didn't l.
Colonel?"
DECIDEDLY r. declared that person.
"Ifelt as sure of Lou as I did Of my
aa.eH." the Judge continued. "But whe'
IeI came back from college though
evervthiug had changed for the worse
SlArs VI ) nj longer thSt familiarity ant
= ror6dence that had existed between MS
u,M fhs time when I went to see he
.he was either busy or out for the even
inc. or engaged with musty old iello'
-So had money, but whose name l won
"Musty, Judge'" howled the Colone
,priiDpeing to his feet. "MustyF nav
.carer'
"poetical license, I suppose, SUI
ested the minister. "Now, II ne na
said moldy-"
"Just Is libelous, just Is infamous
untrutb," shouted he Colonel ssamp'n
up and down the ve.anaA w;.,
"Oh, well, consider the remark wl''
e. .,,oxn. " laughed the Judge. "Ihe ma
A.. --.. there. ali the same. andkept me mo-
confidential chats with the girl loved ~e
and he knew III" chucklsd Che
"she knew itr said the 'ude
.r.vclv "I didn't mind any OF the
things 20 much as the story 'H