Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-07-01
ITEMS OF INTEREST

The married editor Is reminded OF his
courting days every time he goes to press.
Wash furniture with warm soapsuds,
quickly wipe dry, and then rub with an
oily cloth.
Better bare feet and contentment there
with than patent lie ther boots and corn
on each toe.
Peacocks shouldn't be proud. They
have to wear the same old clothes all the
time.
The greatest curiosity which Chicago
has to show her visitors is piece OF un-
mortgaged ground,
The money expended in railroads since
the invention of the locomotive reaches
the vast sum of SIS, 900, 100000.
A strawberry festival is where dozen
strawberries get into half cup of thin
milk and appear to have jolly time.
In the education of the blind at Boston
an excellent step has been taken. They
are now taught 10 tune pianos, and are
extremely successful in their work,
Captain AcOrdagoichoheehea is the odd
name of the master OF vessel that arrived
in Baltimore on Friday. The name was
entered on the books of the Merchants Ex-
change.
A gavel made by an ingenious young
mechanic of Atlanta, Ca, from one hun
dred and ten pieces of hickory wood clev-
erly joined together was presented to
Speaker Randall during the recent session
Of congress.
A political speaker accused rival OF
"unfathomable meanness," " and then, ris-
ing to the occasion, said: 81 warn him
not to persist in his dlsgraceiul course, or
he'll find that two of us can play at that
camel"
A WRITER in the June Scribner, who
seems to speak by authority, says that the
only known contribution to the Kansas
exodus relief fund by any man engaged
IN politics was 800 sent by Vice Presi-
dent Wheeler.
PEDESTRIAN, who has dropped half
crown in front of "the blind v: "Why,
;ou coniounded old humbug, you're not
olmd!" Beggar-"Not !, sir! If the
ards says am they must have given me
he wrong one. I'm deaf and dumb"
The "old she'll" gets in its work even
lway up at Victoria, in British Columbia.
Isaac Karter, barber, drew the plug of
IN old eighty-pounder found in the sand,
md seeing that the shell still contained
powder, he touched it off. Karter was
killed and half dozen other persons we're
injured.
The Princess Mary Of Teck chriStened
new steamer the other day, and gave
he bottle of port such sturdy blow that
he bottle burst and deluged her jacket
md her husbands coat. Then she spent
| FIVE minutes in cutting through with a
,old hammer and chisel the final rope
which held the vessel to the stocks.
The Toledo Blade denounces the Eng
ish sparrow as "swaggerer, boaster,
liar and a caucus packer, frequenter of
ioe lunches and a dead.beat generally.
lo has no domestic virtues, and is as de-
old OF public spirit as defeated candi-
ate after a county convention"
A GALLANT old gentleman by the name
{ Page, finding a young lady's glove at
watering place, presented it to her with
be following words:
III from your glove you take the letter G.,
Your glove is love-which devote to thee
o which the lady returned the following
eat answer:
III from the Page you take the letter P.
Your page is age, and that won't do for mt"
A dear creature writes to a contem-
orary: "The man for me to love is vastly
~ superior, not so much in accomplish
lent, nor even in intellect, but in ilresist-
lie force Of character; man who will
jmpel my spirit to bend its knee to his;
no will command my soul to stand still
nd shine on him, as Joshua commanded
lie sun; who can trample my will to the
lst beneath the tread OF his irresistible
nd indomitable energy and fxity and
,urage. require he should make me
orship and tear him. and that, instead
guiding and protecting me, he should
aster me-" Lots of young women think
ke that. Many experienced wives, how
yer, after starting in on the same lay as
lis emotional female, wind up by having
leir husbands arrested for assault and
artery.
Everybody is familiar with the Roman
atholic doctrine of the infallibility of the
ope, but it has been reserved for an
nglish Magistrate to promulgate the
,mewhat remarkable decision that a
is infallable so far as the crime
f stealing is concerned. The facts in the
ase are, briefly, these: The Rev. Ed
ard Zachariah Lyttel was tried before
ir Robert Garden on the charge of steal
lg an umbrella. The evidence was all
gainst the reverend gentleman, and the
efense was obliged to admit the charge,
ut claimed the umbrella was taken by
listake, and that it was not Mr.. Lyttel's
ltentention to steal 1t. Witnesses were
so brought forward to prove that Mr..
yttel was very absent minded person,
he Magistrate deoided that man of tho
lucation and social position of "A clergy.
an could not steal, and that, therefore,
e umbrella must have been taken in
Of absence of mind.
A One-Pound Baby.
ON the Oakland ICal1 Times.
William F. Songey, who lives at 862
wentieth street, in this city, is the proud
ther of sixteen-ounce baby. 1t isa