Connecticut western news., 1880-06-30
WIT AND WISDOM.


 is no dogmatism that saves.
 KIND words are balm to the wounded heart, food to the hungry soul.
 AN INDIANA carpenter is so temperate that he will not use spirit level.
 TEE best nearer of tbe gospel is the man whose daily life experiences the truths that are spoken.
 IT IS the same with Nature as with humanity. When the land gets worn out the farmers plaster it.
 THE prison laborer never strikes for higher wages, and consequently there is never need of lockout.
 A MAN in Utah who has only the legal number of wives is spoken of as "com- paratively speaking, bachelor"
 IF YOU want to send family to the ooorhouse tell em that they have a large fortune left them in England.
 WE MUST beware of treating Bible statements as kiud of jelly, to be run into whatever moulds we think fit.
 LEARNING is wealth to the poor, an honor to the rich, an aid to the young and support and comfort to the aged.
 FIFTY years ago, according to Gris, mothers used to enforce the you knit rule upon their daughters, and it tworked we'll ......
 As WE are commanded to love our neighbor as ourselves, we should see to it that our neighbor is charming young woman.
 VA1N-GnoRIoUs men are the scorn of wise men, the admiration of fools, the idols of parasites and the slaves of their own vaunts.
 IT IS maintained that the most inspir- ing natural sight which glazier can con- template is the gleam of early day break ing through the windows.
 Two DEAF mutes were married the other day in Chenango county, N. Y. It is pleasing to think that no harsh words will ever pass between them.
 IT HAS been demonstrated that cy- clone effectually destroys the army worm. That is well enough so far as it goes. But who will get up remedy for a cy clone? ...
 THE Buffalo Commercial thinks the chief use of sea captain in these days is to explain how it all happened after most of the passengers have been drowned.
 "ONoE upon time man met an old woman in an English town driving several asses. "Adieu, mother of asses," said he. "Adieu, my sonp' wat the old woman's reply.
 THE man who is curious see how the world could get along without him, can find out by sticking a cambric needle into mill pond and then withdrawing it and looking at the hole.
 IN SOME parts of Europe man has only to put his arm in sling to be taken for duelist and pressed to accept wine and cigars at every cafe. This gives loafers chance to be somebody. u WHEN man comes hmping into his place of business in the morning and presents the general appearance of hav- ing had his sp1nal column shattered by railway accident, his friends need not be alarmed; he has been working in the garden.
 "SEE HERE, Georgie," said a fond mamma to her little son, as they walked on the beach, "what lot of nice little round stones." "Yes," grumbled Georgie, as he cast searching glance around, "and not blessed thing to throw 'em at l"
 A BAD1Y-sHAvEN gentleman, suffering from general debility, consults cele- brated physician. "Doyou shave your self?" asked the doctor, glancing at his slashed cheeks. "Yes." "Stop it. You are losing too mulch blood. That's what's the matter with you"
 A MAN, noted for the non-payment of his bills, remarking that he "sprangfrom Mother Eartb," bystander said: eff that is so, you are disgrace to your maternal ancestor" How SOP" ''Be- cause she always settles in the spring and you never settle," was the reply.
 A MAN having announced that he was once in Q community where they all minded their own business, his state ment was doubted, and he was called upon to tell where it was. "It was on board ship at sea-" he said, "and the passengers were all too sick to meddle with one another's affairs.
 CT HAVE little about me, but that little we will share," said a Dublin Queens Counsel to an ugly customer who, with a meaning air, asked for aims at night in lonely suburb. "This revolver" said the O. O., as he drew it from his pocket, "has six chambers. I will give you three" just then the Q. c. found him. self alone.
 "TM GOING on journey, pa,' ..
 The printers daughter said,
 And as he thought of losing her
 Tears sad and salt he he'd.
 But when be soon discovered her
 Upon a workmans lap,
 "This is the jour-knee that meant
 She said unto her pap.
 THE familiar phrase "The school master is abroad" was first uttered by Lord Brougham, about fifty years ago. In a speech in the House of Lords in reply to the Duke of Wellington, he said: "Let the soldier be abroad, if he will. He can do nothing in this age. There is another person abroad-a person less imposing in the eyes of some, perhaps, insignificant The schoolmaster is abroad, and trust him, armed with his primer. against the soldier in full milf