The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1880-01-09
Healthy Maxims to be Pasted in the
Hat for Use in Emergencies.

Healthy MaxlmS to be Pasted in the
Hat for Use in Emergencies.
Don't you love to read the maxims
which some wise man writes for the
newspapers, useful rules which are in
tended to save human life and alleviate
human suffering? There is always so
much practical common sense in them.
Here is a batch, for instance:
&c For dust in the eyes avoid rubbing
and dash water in them"
This is especially useful when you are
on the cars and there isn't drop of
water in the country nearer than the
engine or the next lake, 43 miles behind
you.
Remove cinders with the point of a
pencil.'
We never saw that operation tried but
once, and then it was successful. The
man got out the cinder. He also put
out his eye.
"Remove insects from the ear by te-
pid water; never put hard instrument
into the ear.''
Yes, that is pretty advice now, isn't
it? Suppose an Indian Peace Commits
sioner gets an insect in his ear when he
is out in Colorado? Is that man to
suffer until he can reach the Mississippi
River in order to get enough water to
fill his ear?
"For light burns, dip the part in cold
water; if the skin is destroyed, cover
with varnish."
A beautiful spectacle man would
present who had gone up on a boiler
excursion in steamboat race, and had
come down scalded just enough to
make two coats of furniture varnish a
necessity according to this admirable
rule.
"Before passing through smoke, take
a full breath and stoop low.''
Just imagine what circusa smoking
car would present if every man who en-
tered it kept that rule pasted in his hat
"Smother fire with carpets; water
will often spread burning oil and in
crease the DANGER
That's all well enough, but when a
mans house is on fire and burning
faster than three steam-engines can
throw water, he hasn't the time, and
frequently he hasn't the money, to buy
a whole carpet-store to throw over the
confagration. And we don't suppose
any thing less than tapestry Brussels
would do any good.
For fainting, lay the body flat
Now, that is good rule; there is
some sense in that. Because, if you are
careful to lay your body flat before you
faint it may save you a terrific thump
when you fall. Let us add to this rule
the advice, never faint on a ladder, or
in balloon, or on the top of a church
steeple, or in front of a runaway team.
1t isn't safe.
"Suck poisonous wounds, unless your
mouth is sore; enlarge the wound, or
better, cut the wound out without de-
lay"
If that isn't a lively piece of advice
for sane man to give to healthy peo-
pie! Listen here-don't you do any
thing of the kind. And if you get a
scratch on the throat don't enlarge it
or cut it out. And if you get wound on
the back of your neck don't you try to
reach it with your mouth. Somebody
will try that some day.and there'll be a
broken neck in the family.
eff in the water, float on the back,
with the mouth and nose projecting"
Now, this is the best rule of the lot.
That is the cap sheaf. You cut that out
and paste it on your cuff, where you can
always see it. JustHollow that rule and
you will never drown. No matter if
you stay in the water 20 years, if you
will just float on yourTback, with the
nose and mouth projecting above the
water, you won't drown. We don't
know what wise man wrote these rules,
but this last one is worth all the rest
Burlington Havkeye.