davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-05-11
A Soldiers Presence Of Mind.

A Russian paper contains the follow
ing among several hitherto unpublished
anecdotes Of the late Emperor Nicholas.
One day the emperor, who was one of
the strictest and most in flexible of dis
ciplinarians, met in street in st. Pc
tersburg drunken dragoon, who was
riding in a drosky. In great rage the
Gar stopped the drosky and angrily
asked the soldier what he was doing
The imminence of his danger partially
sobered the latter. He rose in his car
riage, drew his sword, and, saluting the
Gar, said
" / am taking drunken soldier to
the guard-room, your Majesty"
The Emperor smiled, gave the soldier
five-rouble piece, and told his coach
man to drive him not to the guard-room
but home.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-05-11

aT Money in your purse will credit
you-w wisdom in your head adorn you (;
but both in your necessity will serve
you.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

Captain John Shearer Of North
Beaver, Pa, purchased large bull
dog recently. The dog being very
ugly, he kept it chained in the yard.
It had taken a great dislike to
John Wallace, young man who
was frequent visitor to the Shear.
er family. On Thursday Wallace
went to the house. There was no
one at home except Capt. Shearer's
sixteen-y year-OId daughter. She
told Wallace that the dog had bro
ken his chain and was l0oss some
where about the place, and that lie
(Wallace) must be on his guard.
Wallace remained at tho house
few minutes. just as hewas going
away the bulldog entered the yard
Miss Shearer called Wallace back
into tha honse. aud told him to re-
main tlere till she chained the dog
She went up to the dog, and as she
was about to take hold of his chain
he he sprang at her and knocked he'
down. Her father was returning
from a field at that moment ana
saw the attack of the dog on his
daughter. Before either he or Wal
lace could interfere the dog hat
torn the girls throat open, laceratet
her bosom, and torn the flesh OF
her limbs. Capt. Shearer shot ant
killed the dag. His daughter CAM
to after being carried into th'
house, but soon afterward wa
thrown into violent convulslon
and died.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
Mrs. ErundY.


There is paragraph going the
rounds to the effect that the fa-
nous Mrs. Grundy, whose word is
the law of fashion, and the mere
terror OF whose reproof is social
corrective, was the wife of noted
politician of forty or Atty years ago,
Felix Grundy, of Tennessee, Presi-
dent Van Buren's Attorney. .Gener.
al. She is said to have ruled
Washington society with a rod of
IRON, and her social authority to
have been SO supreme that "Mrs.
Grundy says" was conclusive IN
al social debate. Mrs. Felix Grun-
dy may have been this autocratic
lady, but she is not the original of
the phrase, "what will Mrs. Grun-
dy say" That parsonage, as any
Dictionary of Quotationg will show,
is found by name In Morton's com.
edy of Speed the Plow, which
somewhat antedates the wife of
Mr.. Van Buren's Attorney-Gener-
al. Thomas Morton was born in
1854, and died in 1S3S,-[Harper's
w eekly.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
Cpehapd Hands.

The raw winds of late autumn
often produce in the hands of those
who are much exposed to them
that roughness and cracking Of the
skin known as chapping. If moth
ing is done to prevent, and the per-
son is obliged to have his hands
frequently wet and dry, the CRACKS
will often get deep and painful.
Corn husking is frequently accom-
panied by sore hands from this
cause. As both precaution and
cure for chapped hands we have
used the following with benefit.
Wash the hands, and the face also
if it is inclined to chap, with Borax
Water, and afterwards rub with
an ointment made by melting Nut
ton-tallow (or suetl, aud then grad.
ually adding an equal quantity of
Glycerine, stirring the two together
until cool. For the hands, this
mixture can be best applied at
night, using it freely, and warming
it in by the fire, after which an old
pair of gloves can be- put on to keep
the bedclothes from being soiled,
and also make the skin of the hands
softer. An excellent glycerine ONT
ment for chapped hands is made by
melting. with gentle heat, two
ounces of Sweet Oil of Almonds,
half all ounce of Spermacetti, and
one drachm of White Wax. When
melted, remove from the stove, and
add gradually one ounce of Glycer-
inc, and stir until the mixture is
cold. The ointment can be scent
ed with any perfume to suit the
fancy. Keep in wide-necked bot
tles.-[Ameriean Agriculturist.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
Antiquity of Man.

Believers in the Mosaic account
of the antiquity of man may de-
rive some comfort from the fact
that the ablest geolOgists and anti
uuarians have varied in their COM
putations as to the age of man not
less than 100000 years. SirOharles
Lyell, for example, first placed the
appearance of man on earth about
100000 years ago; his later compu-
tations reduce this period to 6OO,'
900 years; others formerly assign
ed 100000 of years as the age of
nan; more recently the suppositiOn
of many scientists reduced this to
10000 years. DIR. FOwlers Red
Indian found buried sixteen feet in
the Mississippi mud was believed
to he $4,000 years old, but MIR.
Foutaine found skeleton in the
same neighborhood under fifty feet
of earth which had been buried only
four years. United States engi-
neers by careful calculation find
that the whole New Orleans delta
! to the depth of forty feet is the pro
duct of little more than 1000
| wears. Professor Andrews gives
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
When it is once cleaned and venti.
lated q little air Stacked lime scat.
tered occasionally on the floor will
keep the airsas pure in the cellar
as It isin the kitchen.
Regenerating tho Potato.

Captain Mayne Reid, the we'll
known writer of books OF adventure
and travel, has been for the past
three years experimenting with
seed potatoes from Mexico, the
original habitat of the plant, with o
view to escaping the blight which
has been so disasterous to the pota-
to crop in England and Ireland.
He writes to the London Live
Stock Journal from his place in
Herefordshire, briefly detailing his
experience, from which it appears
that OF eleven different varieties,
planted at the same time, in the
same soil, and with the same culti-
walton, the Mexican alone showed
not u spot of blight, all the other
kinds having been found to be dis
eased in q greater Or less degree.
In addition to the immunity from
disease, he finds also that while
the best of his English seed yield
ed a crop of but five tons, or con-
siderably less than 200 bushels, to
the acre, the Mexican seed prOdnc-
cd over ten tons, without special
care in cultivation, many single
specimens weighing a pound or
even a pound and half. After
being stored through the winter in
ordinary field pits, they come out
perfectly sound, and appear to i'm
prove in quality as the spring ad-
vances. AS table potato, or for
feeding to stock, he thinks they
have no equal in England, and he
proposes that the Government
shall take in hand the importation
of seed from Mexico or Peru as
preventative of the blight.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

In the autumn there Is no forage
or food of any kind better for milch
COWS as a help to failing pastures
than pumpkins. 1 have used them
freely fo. years with the best re-
suits, and find the fear of seeds all
nonsense. At the present time l
have a fine lot growing among the
corn and about three acres grow
ing near the barn, which together
will be sufficient to last till Christ
mas if can secure a portion OF
them from frost. After the pump
kins are gone, carrots are better
than any other variety of roots,
and It fed till grass comes again
there need be no loss in the quality
of butter. The quantity of milk
will be equal to the best grass sea-
sons, and will depend upon the
COWS. Any man having common
sense, and managing properly, can
obtain double the average given by
cows of the kind usually met with,
if he will buy of good ones, and
breed from none but deep mixers,
and bulls which are from deep
milking strain.-ECor. Country
Gentleman.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

The Peruvians haye played q
second torpedo trick Oh the Gillian
fleet. which, like the first, was COM
pletely successful, shattering a YES
sci to fragments. a short time
since, at Callao, the war ship Loa
was destroyed by torpedo launch
disguised as fruit boat, that ap-
peared to have broken adrift with
out the knowledge of its owners.
This innocent looking craft quietly
tioated with the tide until it struck
the Loa, when 1t exploded, tearing
the Chilian vessel TO pieces, and
killing nearly all on board. A few
weeks later, in the port of Chancay,
the Chilian sloop of war Covadonga
picked up at sea what appeared to
be an empty boat, which, on being
hoisted aboard, exploded and sunk
the Coyadonga in few minutes,
only four of her crew being saved.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

A very slight declivity suffices
to give the running motion to wa
ter. Three inches per mile, in
smooth, straight channel, gives "a
velocity of three miles an hour.
The Ganges, which gathers the wa
ters of the Bimafaya mountains,
the loftiest in the world, is, 1880
miles from its mouth, only about
500 feet above the level of the sea,
and to fall these 500 feet in the
long course the water requires more
than month. The great river
Magdelena, in South America,
running for 1000 miles between
two ridges of the Andes, falls only
800 feet in all that distance; above
the commencement of the 1000
miles it Is seen descending in rapids
and cataracts from the mountains.
The gigantic Rio de la Plata has so
gentle a descent to the ocean that,
in Paraguay, 1,50O miles from its
mouth, large ships are seen which
have sailed against the current all
the way by the force of the wind
| alone-that is to say, which, on the
beautiful inclined plain of the
stream, have been gradually lifted
by the soft wind, and even against
the current, to an elevation great
er than that of our loftiest spires,
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

A few days since o well.dressed
couple in the prime oflife,. stopped
at u hotel in neighboring town.
and sending for a justice, wished
to bs married. The justice said
GAN right" and inquired their
names. Alter being told, it struck
him that he had performed the same
service for the lady some years be-
fore. On inquiring If such was
not the case. the lady said that she
had been married previously.
Have you a bill from your former
husband 2 asked Mr.. Justice.
'Yes,' she replied, Il have q bill.'
This being satisfactory, the cere-
mony was performed, and the cou.
pie were declared imam aud wife,
As thoy were about departing, the
iustis sho lad never seen.a bill
of divorce, thought it an excel
lent opportunity to satisfy his curl
osity. He therefore said to the
lady:
Have you the bill with you?'
ooh, yes,' she replied.
Have you any objections to o.
lowing me to see itT said our
friend.
sNone whatever,' she replied, and
stepping to the door, and calling
to little boy some three or four
years of age, she said:
Here, Bill, come quick here is
a gentleman who wishes to see
YOU
The gentleman wilted.-[ Mod
ern Argo.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

The farmer who let's all the Ii
ouids of his barnyard run to waste
is spendthrift. however "ciose
listed" he may be with money. A
practical farmer said recently: "On
my farm on the Hudson river, !
have built cisterns under the barns
and stable, in which the liquid is
collected. These cisterns are all
connected, and one being built on
a lower grade, they all empty into
this one. When it rains | put a
force pump into the cistern and fill
two water carts, such as are used
in watering our streets and scatter
this liquid over my meadows; In
forty.eight heurs afterwards a
change is perceived in the color OF
the grass" Another farmer who has
a similar arrangement in his barn.
yard says he saves one hundred
loads every year, and thinks the
Ii0uid worth as much as so many
loads of solid manure.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
Keeping the Cellar Clean.

A good, healthy site alone does
not alone insure health in farm
house. The cellar may be dry,
light and airy, but if kept full OF
vegetables, especially after warm
weather sets in, the chances are
that child will have the diphtle--
ria. or parent may suffer from chills
and fever or some other form of fe-
YER will affect some other member
of the family. In such II case the
cause should not be attributed to a
mysterious Providence. The physl.
clan, if he is sensible man, and
has nose for smells, Will tell you
there is no mystery about II.
Those decaying cabbages or those
rotten turnlps in the cellar are the
cause of all the trouble. The pa
tent may de compelled to swallow
much bitter quinine, and many
suffer something worse, but Provi-
dence ought not to be blamed for
leaving those vegetables in the
cellar to generate disease and death
into the family. Not only should
the cellar be cleaned of onions, tnr-
nips, etc., but the windows should
be taken out, the gangway door
opened, and az much sunshine and
air admitted as is possible in an
underground room. The walls and
ceiling should be whitewashed,
aud an opening made into the
chimney through which the damp
air of the cellar may escape, and
not penetrate the house every
time the cellar door is open, or en-
ter the living rooms as it merges
from the cellar windows. A cellar
is good thing when rightly man
aged, but if left full of vegetables
stale vinegar and rotten timbers
and rubbish, it may become a nui
sance of the worst kind. Many o
farmer keeps his barn nice and or
derly whose cellar is o sink of po
luton, and, we may add, iniquity
for it is a great injustice to ones
family to exp ose them to diseas'
} and death, when a days work viii
, make the cellar sweet and clean
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

we're q fortune.hunter. Aud yet
pye offered youa fortune and you
have up and down declined itw
"Because l loved Allan better
than all the gold of California !"
said Adrienne, with dropping eye
lashes.
"Come here and kiss me, my
DEAR" said Uncle Barnabas. "No,
you needn't be afraid-I shall not
make love to you any more. I've
lived to be sixty years old without
marrying, and / wouldn't we'd the
finest woman alive. II you hadn't
refused me, / should have run of
to the Sand wich Islands to escape
matrimony,"
Adrienne opened her eyes very
wide.
"Then why do you ask me !"
she said.
"Simply, my dear, to make GER
tain that you loved Allan for him
self alone, not because he was the
nephew of his rich Uncle. And
I'm satisfied nowp
81 do love him." said Adrienne,
with tears in her eyes. "And l
love you, too, Uncle Barney-only
in a different sort of way"
"pm quite satisfied, my DEAR"
said Uncle Barnabas. "And l
shall take it upon myself to see
that neither of you perish of want
So Adrienne Vail "married rich''
after all. Rich, not only in money
and sugar plantations, but rich in
love and true affection. Happy
little Adrienne
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
How a NIndlnan was NIolifled.

One day recently, as the insane
patients OF the great charity hospl-
tai at Berlin we're taking their ac-
customed exercise in the gardens
Of that establishment, under the
supervision of several attendents,
one of them, q lunatic cab driver
OF herculean strength, contrlyed to
slip away from his companions and
to Chamber up the trunk of huge
elm tree. Having reached one of
the top-most limbs and armed him
self with a stout branch, he ang
nounced his intention Of .'staying
there forever" No one darad to
attempt his capture by force; SO,
after couple of hours had elapsed,
the medical authorities summoned
to their assistance a detachment OF
the fire brigade and an engine,
which forthwith began to play up
on the deranged gymnast. Having
drenched him for q ten minutes
spell, the fireman summoned him to
a parley, but could get nothing out
of him save q fantastic and high
flown speech of thanks for their
"refreshing attentions" Another
and still more protracted deluge
proving equally Intellectual in in-
ducing him to descend, the warders
and policemen recurred to friendly
negotiations, and their persuasions
at length moved the triumphant
Lmadman to declare that if they
would pay homage to his gymnas.
tic skill and heroic endurance by
three rounds of enthusiastic ap.
plause he would come down. His
terms were properly accepted, and
he decended to terra firma amid
the vehement plaudits of policemen
warders and firemen, thus hOnora-
bly, capitulating after siege of five
hours and a half duration.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

BURMESE VILLAGEs.-A corres-
poudent of the London News, writ
ing from Burmah, thus describes "a
Burmese village: "The village isself
is a struggling kind of affair. Every
man builds his house where pleases
and in what line he pleases, SO that
there ia no semblance of street.
The houses are built entirely OF
bambo, and are barrack-like struc-
tures $50 or 200 feet long and 40 or
so feet broad. The caves come down
to within a few feet of the ground,
and as there are no windows they
are dismal enough. But they keep
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
out the storms which are plentiful
enough on the hills, and that is all
that is wanted. Each house has a
private door.

For resi- scien tific stab under
the fifth rib, for the Democratic
party and its candidates, commend
us to the following from the New
York Sun of Monday. What makes
the thrust all the more severe is
the tact that the Sun is the cham
pion bitter and violent Democratic
organ in New York city:
The Democrats have sustained an
unexpected and mortifying defeat
in Indiana and Ohio. 1t is disas.
trous, and may prove fatal. 1t is
silly to make light of 1t, and idle to
try to whlttle it away by cunning
calculations and adroit figuring.
The Democrats are beaten, badly
benten whethOr beaten to death OF
not is the only question.
1t has seemed to ua that tho
whole Democratic campaign was q
series of blunders.
The party had one man-only
one-whOse immense strength had
ben demonstrated on o national
field-Samuel j. Tilden. 1t is the
one great, preeminent mama in the
Democratic party.
The party nominated Gen. Han
cock, a good man, weighing two
hundred and fifty pounds.
But Hancock is not Tilden,
Then, as a crOwning act of folly,
the party went into the State Of
Thomas A. Hendricks, and took
another man for Vice President!
Any name other than that of Hen
bricks would have been folly
enough but to 60 one step fur
ther, they had to take q man with
the most odious reputation as a
skinflint to overcome!
There used to be a fellow who
made an occupation of butting hfa
head against rough stone New
England wall for twenty-five cents.
These are only sample extracts
from Mondays leader. On Tues
day the Sun gave Hancock some
excellent advice on the subject of
letter writing.
Gen. Hancock need write moth.
ing more on the tariff.
Every one knows he is in favor
of a tariff which will yield the ut
most protection to American in,
dustries, and especially to the Dem
ocratic party,
Gep, Hancock should devote
himself to writing his inaugural,
and, even lift is never delivered
the preparation of it will be salu-
tary literary exercise.
\ But il he must write on q tariff
let him explicitly state that if il
had been left to him he would put
a prohibitory tariff on the readmin-
istration of unrepeutent rebels to
citizens rights after the close OF
the war.
That is about the only letter OIL
the tariff we can conceive of that
would help him.
Unless he is going to write some
such letter, let him return his goos'
quill to the original goose.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30
A good mode for killing poultr,

A good mode for killing poultry
as it causes instant death without
pain or Disagreement, is to suspend
the birds by tying their legs firmly
to pole or heavy wire across the
killing room, convenient distance
from the floor, and opening the
fowls beak, and with a sharp-polnt-
ed and narrow bladed knife, make
an incision at the back OF the roof,
which will divide the vertebr@ and
caase immediate death.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30


One day last week as a Griswold
street lawyer had just finished tack
ing upa sign of "Shut the door"
where he thought it would do the
most good an oldish man, having a
sour expression Oh his facs, came
upstairs. The instant he saw the
sign he said:
'AlI bosh, sir-all bosh. 1 never
pay any attention to such signs.
But other people d. said the
lawyer.
Let 'em do so then. l am just
eccentric enough to leave your door
open when ! 60 OUT
And so lie did. He walked around
the room once or twice, made a few
inquiries, and left the door wide
open as he walked out. When he
had reached the street a boy over
took him and asked him 10 return
to the room on important business.
He climbed back UP stairs, and the
lawyer asked him.
did you leave your gold-headed
cane herei'
mo, sir-bere 1t is,' replied the
caller as he held is up.
sAh so it is. l was just eccen-
trio enough to think that this stove
poker was your goIdyheaded cane.
All right-no harm done-good
byev
When the stranger went down
stairs lie left the print Of bis heels
on every step.--[Detroit Free Press
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

The bashful young man who
asked a lady on the beach if he
"could see her home," was much
surprised to hear her reply, "That
he could go up and see, if he want-
ed to, but she didn't think her faith
er wanted to SELL" and then coolly
walked off with the man OF her
choice,
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

One of our wholesale dry-goOds
houses has new clerk, whose IA
Their from the country went in to
see him the other day, and wassur-
prised to learn that all the sales.
men had nicknames. he asked
the floor walker why his son was
called "Jury.r "Oh," was the re.
ply, he is always sitting on cases.
-TNew York Herald.
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

the probable glacial period at Lake
Michigan as about 5000 to 1000
years, which other scholars are
adopting as the antiquity of the
"ice age" Man, according to geol.
ogists, came after the "ice age"
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

How time changes! In the good
Old Testament days it was consid-
cred miracle for an ass to speak,
and now nothing short of miracle
will keep one quiet,
Bradford opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1874-1881, 1880-10-30

The first hat ofa new fashion for
ladies is not the result of any par
ticular design. One is finished
plain and then sat down upon by
the head milliner. Whatever shape
it may take under pressure is adop-
ted as the style and becomes the
pattern for others.