Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-06-19
Trying to Drive a Hen.

NJ, mate Ihorne, in Galveston Register
D10 you ever Undertake to drive hen any,
where? II not, then never say ''where there's
VIII there's way" or "All things are possible
TO him who perseve res, " because you don't know
Driving hen properly. and decorously, and
herd Of buffalo.
The hen you want to drive is always a strong
minded hen. If she had been a woman she
would have wanted the ballot long ago. and her
husband would have had to keep quiet when she
''got set" on anything. But being only hen,
all she can do is to cackle, and be contrary, and
thwart you at every turn.
Ii you want her to go in somewhere she'll be
sure to want TO go out and vice versa. You
want TO drive her most when she gets out of
the coop, and gets into your garden, to the
total destruction OF your pet bulbs. and roots,
and seeds, and everything else. One smart
active hen will do more harm In one hour than
COW would In half day.
hen is born with an instinct to get at the
root OF the matter, and she follows out her ma
ture.
When your hen gets out of confinement she
makes straight for your choicest fiOWer-bed
and she stays there for an hour before you dis
cover her. BY that time she has dug out every
thing that you cared anything about. and has
buried herself up all but her head, and there
she lies in the sun with happiness and triumph
In her speaking countenance.
How mao You are! You feel as If you could
sever her joints and make her into pot-pie
with will-no matter If she is one Of the trio
that cost $40.
You go for her with energy, and scream out
''shoo.' at her. and flourish your apron. and
make wild gestures in her direction, and call
your hus band, and the children, ana the hired
girl, to help drive her into her quarters.
Now, 1t Is never any use to call a man to help
drive hen. We are willing to admit that the
lOrGS OF creation can do quantities OF things
that the weaker sex cannot, but there Is one
thing man can never dO-and that is drive a
hen.
He'll break the rake-handle, and get hung In
the clothes line, and lose his hat ami fall down
crOnUpf WtcEptS two n
three of his suspender buttons and the hen will
ny up on the top OF the barn. or take refuge in
the tallest tree on the premises and there She
come down. And all the men In creation can
not drive her down, for she knows that she has
got things her own way.
Your hen that you are going to drive gener-
ally cackles all the time you are trying to drive
her IL gives her courage, perhaps, to defy you.
It is like the music of martial band when the
troops are marching into battle. 1t is as In
spring as the strains of yankee Doodle, to
the hens ear: You try gentleness first.
'ShOo, biddy. shoe. biddy! shoe there!" and she
plungeS OH In the direction contrary to the one
you wish her to go In; and then you draw Off your
forces and execute flank movement, and
pen her up, but presto! just as you think you
have got her. she squats and gives scoot right
out under your skirts, and away she goes free
as air: Then you get some corn and try to
pride her. on. no, she doesn't want any corn,
thank you. She Is above bribery. She doesn't take
any stock in your ''chickyl chicky! chicky!" de-
livered In your most cajOling OF voices. Still
she cackles. All the roosters cackle, too, evi-
IDENTITY tickled with her spunk. A few hens
who are not curious join In. All the neighbors
Will be looking out to see ''what on earth are
you making them hens screech so for"
Your husband gets a pole and makes dive
for that hen. He'll fix her cackle for her, he
says; she'll go into that hen-house or he'll know
the reason!
And by the time he has chased her all over
the premises. and torn his pants, and knocked
piece of skin off his hand, and run over little
Charley, he does find out the reason. 1t Is be-
cause she is not of a mind to go into that hen
house.
And he says that hens are nuisance and
That he'll kill the whole of 'em, and he wishes
there had never been one invented.
BY this time you are tired OF his help, and you
hen.
Then you begin, and the hen begins. too.
She lilies over the fence, and up On a neighbor's
Woodshed. and down into somebody's pig-pen,
and the pig takes after her with vim, and She
nles out with screech, and runs under the
oarn, and there she stays till night, and then If
you Will leave open your hen-house door she
VIII find her way thither, as meek and Innocent
looking as you please-for "chickenS and curses
come home to rOOSt,n