The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-01-08
WAITS AND WHIMS,
RAMBLING notes-bank bills.

RAMBLING n0tes-DanR DlllA
A STANDING invitation-get up.
ARE bits of advice presents Of mindf
A CRACK company--a gang OF burg
Ars.
A DEAL of money has been made on
the ryes in whisky.
WHAT'S the best joke of the. p
Keokuk Constitution. The, most ,cal OF
course.
A MANS ambition is to be credited
with some great feat, while woman is
only happy with small feet.
FEMALE DENTIsTRY.-"It's nearly
out; but my wrist is so tired that
must really rest Bit"
SMITH wants to know what good the
new French cable is going to be to PEG
pie who don't understand French.
NoTHINa 80 quickly dries a woman's
tears as a kiss.-PrOgress Do you want
to set all the girls to crying2
AMERICANS wear more watches than
any other nation. We have the system
of tick to perfection in this country.
PAwNBRoKEKs should make good bill
liardists. They play the three-ball game
successfully.
A NEGRO at Little Rock has had 242
wens and warts cut from his body.
They weighed eleven pounds.
A FARMER asks the question: "Do
beets pay" In our experience we have
found that, usually, they do not; they
beat their way.
A YOUNG lady attending balls and
parties should have female chaperone
until she is able to call some other chap
her own.
IT very frequently happens that the
girl who has the most bang to her hair,
has the biggest holes in the heels of her
stockings.
Do they call the place IN the church
the preacher speaks from the pulpit be-
cause he tries TO pull sinners out of the
pit from that pointY-- Steubenralk Herald.
Now the mighty Nimroa cleans his
gun, and goes 10 the field to have some
fun, steps on the trigger-his fun is
GGus.
a pattern in Il magazine dated 1873 be.
fore she discovered that it wasn't 1879,
and it took three doctors to tide her
over that long, lonely night.
"WORTH uses oak and walnut but.
tons on cloth wraps" Just the same
sort of buttons that have been used on
woodhouse doors for years.-Neo Haven
Register.
If brooms are wet in boiling suds
once week they will become very
tough, will not cut carpet, will last
much longer, and Away sweep like q
new broom.
IREcoLLECT Endora Lee,
Her praises still Lutte
And reGOect, yea verify,
Her fathers cowhldG boot
ireCUlleCt with heartfelt glee
| One pleasant starry night;
Full many dainty rings had she
| And an awful appetite.
"SIYGLE man, s,rr ASKED the law.
yer as tie witness took his place. yes,
sir" was the reply. Lawyer" Wife
livingp Confusion and rapid e1plana-
tons.
A CONNECTICUT woman sued man
for taking off his hat on the street and
the jury gave her S. damages. They
don't put on any scollops in Connecti-
cut.
DARLING Kiss My Eyelids Down."
is the latest mooushine song, and no
kisses them up and down and crosswise.
and then settles on her lips as steady
thing.--Stiil,cater Lumbamann.
The latest thing at church festivalsis
to serve q search warrant with the
oyster soup. 1t doesn't aid digestion
materially, but it renders valuable as
sistance in finding the oyster.
lr is not strange that writers some
times get puzzled in their choice be.
tween chat" (Which" and "who."
Relatives are always more or less trouble
some.-Iiansc,qpt.
THE young lady who aspires to be adj
mitted to the ranks of the legal profess
sion, does not reflect that the gratifica-
ton of her ambition would only make
her a bar-msid.
"YEsH, shee," said moral inebrlate
to tramp, "you want to 60 and swill
whisky" well, yes, | did when l
asked YOU" was the reply, "but Whit
of your breath has answered the purpose,
and Pm obliged to YOU"
"Two-FoRTY on the levep used to be
a slang phrase, and not a many years
ago." either. Now the horse that CAN'T
trot mile in less than 2:30, could
hardly be sold to a drayman. This
world is progressing at 20 rate.
GIRLS, look outl 1t isn't always the
Young men who wear the sweetest smiles
and nearly break their necks making
earth pleasant for you during the court.
ship season, who are the quickest to get
up of cold morning and build tire
during married life.