The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1880-11-28
WIT AND HUMOR.

M
"This is high-handed outrage" AZ
the boy remarked when he found thaM
his mother had put the cookies on theI
upper shelf.
The boy who hasn't gone through
both heads OF his Christmas drum by
this time has at least set his old grandN
mother crazy and driven away th(
cook. tx
"ls it possible, miss, that you do non
know the names of some OF YOU'D
best friends?' Possible ! WhyM
of course, it is. do not even know
what my name may be a year or ID
hence"
A young lawyer in Arkansas, hayina
q case decided against him by the&
court, said, well, now, I'll just taks4
this case before another Judge, and lc9
him make guess what the law is,
too"
A strolling theatrical company was
at the inner table. A waiter approach-
ed one Of the members, and said,
"Souppn mo, SIR replied the guest
81 am one ~ The musician $500
4 Sayy diSagreea5se Old gettIunals|
dies. hsphew. charged s,ishhhe dun
ty Of prtparing bis epitaph, %igsgests3
deeply regretted by all who never|
knew him.
Rev. DR.. Hall said every blade Of
grass was u sermon. The next day hc|
was amusing himself by clipping his
lawn, when aparishioner said: That's
right, doctor, Cut your sermons
short
An English Girl wants to know how
long girls should be courted?--Ex-1
Our opinion may not be worth much I'M
such matters, but we think long girl
should be courted in the same manner'
as short girls are courted with operas.
carriage rides, CONNECTIONS, sitting up'
nights, and so forth.
A little Oil City girl observed her.
mother measuring cloth by holding it
up to her nose with one hand and
reaching out an arms length with the
other. She assumed thoughtful as
pect, and, after cogitating few mo-
ments, asked, "How can you measure
cloth that way? Can you smell a
yardP" -
1t was his first appearance at church,
and in order that he might sit perfect
ly still and keep his little chatter be-
tween his teeth, he was told that big
dog would bite him if he didn't keep
that quiet, The little fellow cast sew
eral glances up and down the aisle,
and at last, just in the most interesting
part of the minister's prayer, startled
the congregation by piping up, ma
ma, where is the dogp"
When an Eastern man goes to Colo
RADIO he is called 'fenderfoot' until
he has been stabbed, shot at, engaged
in free fight, fallen down mine
kicked by mule, and chased by Wig
lance committee. Then they admi,
he is getting used to the country, and
when he kills his man he is looked upon
as citizen.
"See the MOON said a lady to hel
nephew, bright little boy Of five, as
they sat looking out of the window the
other day. "The moon y said the
little man "you can't see the moon in
the daytime" Eyes you can" con.
tinued his aunt there it is over the
trees The little fellow had to ad
NIT that he saw it, but added "Tainl
lighted, anyway"
The Cleveland Voice comes to the
front with this; cat the breakfast tn
BILE the other morning Spikes fired that
ancient joke at the landlady about the
propriety of forwarding specimen Of
her hash to the Navy Department with
the recommendation that it was the
best thing known to repel boarders. =
But this landlady quietly retorted: 81
should advise Mr.. Spikes to take the
article himself, as have no doubt the
department could utilize him to good
advantage. For instance, if their can
non become burned out, Mr.. Spikes
can be used with the best results--for
any one of his acquaintance will
cheerfully testify that no is a first-class
bore p Spikes confesses the old lady
| i. Il Il l.c>