The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-03-18
ALL SORTS.

Every woman has a grievous cross to
bear. when her husband is as cross as
bear.
IF hit yer" said one small by to
another, ''yer'll be usin' yerself fer snuff
to morror."
Dear girls: | am welded to ny coun-
try; therefore please don't bother ne y
S. + Tslden.
Strange but true. lid you ever notice
that the young men who get the least
flowers. always receive the most prizes?
Quail on toast" was what he ordered.
Quail Oh trust" was what the innkeeper
called it some months after Worcester
Gazette,
Maxim by ancient maiden who always
expects to ana burglar under her bed:
Look before you sleep
Sweet arc the uses of university" said
girl when senior asked her TO go to a
concert.-Syracuse Standard.
A man in Utah who has only the legal
number of wives is spoken of as, "compar-
ativeiy speaking. bachelor
We suggest that everybody drop the
6 -c1sgion ct tee gem pu4zie, and try and
find out Why bass-viol players are always
lat,
4 bright youth has discovered that the
game of fifteen is "a trick with whole in
it. and he says the hole moves all over
the box"
A recent Leadville funeral was ended
with dance, and some of the more con-
serystiYe people of the city think it was
vergpg on bad taste 70 have dance DUR
ing Lent.
The editor of the Sarquoit On. Y
Register suggests that parties sending in
big eggs will please accompany them by
several ordinary sized ones, not for publ
cation, but as guarantee of good faith.
1t is astonishing how full four women
can fill church pew made 10 accomuaa-
date six. when some woman they don't
like comes along down the aisle inquiriugly
looking for place to sit down.
The poet Tennyson is worth 81 900. 900,
and we don't see what use there was in |
his writing. Come not when | am dead"
They will be on hand, every one of them, |
when the will is opened. - Cincinnati En- |
qairer.
The Buffalo trDress suggests that some |
use ought to be made of tho Vice-Presi. |
dent 1t thinks he ought to ruu the gov e. !
when the President il away ~
county fairs. The idea is good one. 1t |
would at least keep the President more
steadily at bis post.
The Cleveland P7aindealer says those
who think that John Sherman is the weak |
est of tho three prominent Republican |
candidates for President are mistaken. |
There Is not more cunning or adroit pol |
tician in the country than the Secretary |
'f the Treasury"
The Cattaraugus Union says: ''Let un
pledged delegates go to the National
Convention aotuated by sincere desire to
dominate e candidate for President who
IAN unite the party-a strong man with
he passes-and all will be well. We hope
or the best"
1t is reported that Mr.. Tllden has been
Negotiating for the purchase of the Colum-
BUS (O) Democrat. which has been
lear OF late. 1t looks slightly mythical
slr. Tilden did not make his money by
Investments of that sort.
The St. Louis Post Dispatch says:
With Washburns voluntarily and
sherman involuntarily out of the way.
irant's only competitor to-day is Blaine.
But with Illinois Grant has already one
hundred and seventy certain votes. need
ng only part of the Southern carpetsbag
delegations to secure the absolute majority |
Nothing short of absolute mental or poll.
ical blindness can explain the persistent
opes of the Republican opposition to /
irant. He is as sure to be nominated at
'hicago in 1880 as he was in 1861 {