The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1880-02-19
WOMEN AS TRAVELLERS.
A Fable About Women-The Traveling-bag
and the Lunch-basket.

Fable About Women-The Travelling -ba1
and the Lunch-basket.
"Women are peculiar?n said Tho
Travelling " there is no use deny
ing it. She has opened me twelve times
in half an hour; what for 1 can't see
She doesn't always take things out.
believe she likes to hear my catch
snap" E saaaeagt 80 I8.
"Perhaps," said the Lunch basket
"but watch her with me-two apples,
two sandwiches, four cakes, one orange
and one banana since we started, beside
any quantity of chocolate creams. 1 am
rather new, you see; this is my first
journey with lady. Do they always
eat like this?''
"Ske does it to occupy her mind,
suppose" said the Bag. 81 have often
noticed that people eat when there is
nothing else to do. l saw it on the
steamer when we went abroad"
''Well, hate it, said TIE Basket.
1t looks SO greedy, eating all the time
L don't think | like travelling with ladies,
any way"
'Like it," said the Bag. 81 should
think not indeed! They are never quiet
a moment. A man, now, just dumps
us down, and that's the end of us until
the train stops, when he snatches lis up
again and rushes off. But woman! {!
First she gets into the Pullman car, and
wonders where her seat is: can't find
the number, and won't believe the por-
ter; so looks over every body's head or
under every body's feet until she sees it
herself.'
"Well, really,n laughed the Basket,
81 don't much blame her for not find
ing the number. OF course, have trav-
eled very little yet; but it seems to me
they try to put it just where people can't
possibly see it,
s'Perhaps,'' said the Bag, "but a
woman always has to fuss just so much !;
the cause doesn't make any great differ
ence.''
"I hope she settles down now," said
the Basket.
Mercy" said the Bag; show much
you have to learn, poor thing; this is
only the beginning. She takes her seat,
but finds it sunny, and wants all the
| blinds pulled down; then she tries to
wedge her bag between two chairs,
and when the old gentleman in front of
her wants to wheel his seat round, he
can't, because the bag is in the way He
looks to find what is the matter, but the
| lady takes no notice of him, and he
makes some exclamation to himself,
| which we don't wish to repeat. Then
my lady wants footstool, and the por-
ter can not find one for the moment; so,
of course, she must have it directly and
can not travel another moment without
it. At last, after making the porter
poke under every body's chair, she gets
up and discovers it under her own, where
it has been all the time'' @ ~
'What women want footstools for
can't see,n interrupted the Basket;
tone is always stumbling over them in
dark drawing-rooms, l am told" 9
"Oh! it is notion" said the Bag,
and ladies' notions are very obstinate
things. That is the reason they get
their own way so often. Men have not
| time to bother about whim, and so
they give up to it. 1t saves tempel.' o
$50 it does says the Basket. "Well,
go on. After the footstoola'' @ Z
"Then,' answered the Bag, "she
takes out her novel and scent-bottle and
is quiet for a while; but pretty soon she
feels the dust coming in from an open
ventilator, and, although the thermom-
eter is ninety in the car, it has to be
| closed-the poor old gentleman in front
| of her red as boiled lobster. Then
she eats her lunch and afterward wants
the window opened to throw away the
| apple-parings. By this time the poor
porter has wisely disappeared, SO she
tugs and tugs in vain. At last she looks
around in an injured way and says.
Will no gentleman assist me?n II
"Women never do understand catch
| es,'' said the Basket; $50 men say ex-
plain a lock to them dozens of times,
and they will always pull the wrong
way" -.-
"Quite true" said the Bag; "well,
one of the gentlemen in the car gets the
window open for her and shuts it after
ward. Then she is thirsty and wants a
| drink of water, so she goes to the ice
cooler, swaying into every body by the
way, and comes back with her cup full
| of water, spilling plenty of it and waking
the old gentleman out of a sound sleep
by small deluge on his bald head
Presently the conductor comes for the
| tickets, and hers can't be found, al
though she has shown it before. She
| looks for it in her purse, in her bag, in
her lunch-basket, in her pocket, and at
last, when the conductor loses all pa
| tience, finds it inside her glove very
much mashed, where she had put it for
safe keeping. ."-Philadelphia Press.
AN elephant constituted the great at
| traction of a travelling menagerie that
arrived in Amsterdam few weeks ago,
and was permitted to camp out in one OF
the public gardens there. An old gen.
tleman, inspired by the elephants amia-
| BILE expression of countenance, with the
conviction that he would stand any
amount of teasing, proceeded to offer a
tempting lump Of bread to the animal,
deity withdrawing it, however, beyond
the reach of the elephants trunk each
time that receptacle was thrust forth to
grasp it. This jocular performance
having been repeated several times, the
elephant suddenly stepped forward close
to his side of the railing, seized his tor
i