Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-12-01
NA, AICHIGAN, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER l. 1880

'CEMBER /, 1880.
that place across the road, get
your medicines at the corner drug
store"
"lf l have ever used any unkind
words, Hannah" said Mr.. Smiley.
reHectively, 81 take them all back"
"Yes, | suppose you want to use
them over again" was the not
very soothing reply.-New Ha-
ven Register.
A lady tells something which
ought to have remained secret
with her sex. 1t is that woman
in choosing a lover considers a
good deal more how the man will
be regarded by other women than
whether she loves him herself.
An editor in Georgia says =
"Gold is found in thirty-six coun-
ties in this State, silver in three,
copper in thirteen, iron in forty
three, diamonds in twenty-six, and
whisky in all of them; and the
last gets away with all the rest"
A Philadelphia clerk, who is
somewhat smarter than his en-
ployer, was heard to remark the
other day: Thank fortune, the
boss has stopped advertising for
the season. Now we shall have a
little est."-Chicago Inter-Ocean.
An old farmer in Massachusetts,
had been much annoyed by the &C.
centricities of his hired man. One
morning, going into the barn, he
found the man had hung himself.
Somewhat surprised the old man
calculated: "Well what on airthll
that fellow do nextg"
A stranger in Galveston asked an
old resident how malarial fever
could be distinguished from yellow
fever. "As general thing" was
the reply, "you can't tell until you
have tried it. II you amt alive,
then it is most likely yellow fever"
News.
Childhood's innocence.-Some-
body gave little Augustus two toys.
M will give this one to my dear
little sister," he said, showing the
largest. because it is the pref
tiest," said the delighted mamma.
''No," he replied, without hesita-
ton: "because it's broken.'-Lon-
don Fun.
Mr.. Prigsby lat dinner, to
fair Knickerbocker on a visit to
Boston for the third or fourth
time): GIVE heard you are so aw-
'ully. ah, clever, you know" Miss
Sharp.-"Excuse me, Mr.. Prigs-
)y, you must have made q mis-
AXE, for / assure you I'm next
o an idiot. Columbia Spectator.
Going home from church, she
emarked to her husband: "Did
'ou notice that bald-headed man :
n front of us, and how young he
ookedl never saw any one so
oung before with bald head"
hen he shut her up by replying: ]
My dear, l was baldheaded be-
ore | was q year old."-Syracuse
unday Times.
---------------.----.
A very good hit was made the
ther day by one of the defeated
at late primary cleo $
on. A gentleman approached 4
i'm with, "Well, Mr.. -, how do -
on feel 7" "Well,' said he, 81
'el, suppose, pretty much like
, Lazarus did" GAS Lazarus didp
Why, yes" said he; Lazarus
as licked by dogs and so was IL
The lawer wanted to badger the
itness as he asked: "Have You
yer been convicted Of crime Z" Il
4 course, the man was mad at
le insinuation mighty mad. He r
ldignsntly replied: "Du you
link I'm blamed fool enough to
yer let myself get caughti" He
once gained the sympathy of
,e entire audience.-Boston Post. r
1t must be rather trying to be =
Iarried to an emotional actress, to
ave her clutcbing you by the ,
,roat at 3 A. NJ. and shouting in :
oarse stage whisper: "Slave, n
idst lock the kitchen doorl The