Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-12-13
AN INTERVIEW WITH THE DEVIL.

The following report Of an interview with
the devil is furnished by citizen who had
tie courage to face old Nick. Ordinary re-
porters know their business too well to enter
upon any such hazardous undertaking, real
izing fully that his Satanic Majesty has an
open account with the fraternity. The in
teryiew is given for what it shows, with the
distinct understanding that the reporters are
not responsible for it. and have not given
away" any condolences. As the devil fur
nishes them with any number OF superior
Items" they do not propose to bear the
market. The amateur reporter thus relates
l met a gentlemen lately near my house and
invited him in. He was neatly dressed. po-
lite, digni6ed and proper, and yet he was
the devil Ingersoll says that ID. H. Morey
and the devil are identical. l dispute this
fact. although both worked against me at the
last election however, that Is past: Curl
osity and recklessness made me wish to in
terview his highness, and he well knew that
l knew how to get rid of him at any tine
when in my own house, as 1 will presently
show. We had o long and pleasant talk; il
is always pleasant to talk with the Prince of
Evil, a. all know, but there is generally
bitter taste on the tongue left behind, and so
it was with me. Tnis Lord of Tophet re-
ported business very good and prospects en-
coura9ing; the better classes all On his
side and doing nothing to keep their
unlucky neighbors cut of the pit.
Amongst other things, he very frankly
told me that four fifths Of the population Of
Sacramento did not go to church. The pres
ent system of religion had been running for
almost 1900 years, and his folloyers were in
the great majority. The Chinese, he said,
are the most correct thinkers, for they
strive to propitiate me whom they have
reason TO fear, and do rot worship the party
who is too good to hurt them"
I'm the churches / have things very nicely
arranged All the best pews are reserved by
few respectable people, who never steal
bread for their families, and are kept from
the use of those who do steal. If any of the
latter COME to church they get seat, but
they see that they had better not come sec
ond time. In fact, those who have attended
church the longest are the most persistent in
keeping certain pews. Many of my discreet
adherents, of whom you are one there |
WINGED j pay for pew and never enter it,
and it is kept vacant. A very
good idea Better than buying and
burning Bibles! Between friends" said
the devil, 81 must tell you good joke on
US both. It seems poor fellow was dis
charged from the Napa Asylum lately, and
came to Sacramento and went to church;
noticed the permanent reserved seat system,
aud on the next day went into each dry
goods store to request them to mark their
stools each with the name Of some lady Gus
toner and, of course, they all refused. He
tried to get up company to occupy the
theater, selling reserved seats for the season
to subscribers. The tragedians remarked
that on stormy nights, or when dull play
was announced, the best part of the house
would be vacant, and those who did come
would be chilled by the vacant space and
mad because the seats could not be occupied.
The poor fellow began to think that those
whose hearts were in their pockets knew
most how to draw people to their wares
He then went to the churches and proposed
that they should make their pews free, and
in order to stop any presumption rights that
each pew should bear tue label No person
can occupy the same pew two consecutive
times. Well, to make long story short, he
has gone back to Napa and things wag along
in the good old-fsshioned way"
Thus quoth the devil We talked of many
other things sweetly, but somehow the bitter
ness was on my tongue; besides, over the
odor of our two-bit cigars began Co come
faint sulphurous smell. So | called in my
bsby-boy and kissed him and babe him open
the door, His HighRess grayely ard politely
withdrew. l..