Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1880-07-01
INFANTILE PRATTLE.

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/
! "JoHN, how many times have l told
/ you always to eat bread with your
meat?" "Papa, how many times have
you told me never to do two things at a
/ time?"
A YoUNGsTER joyfully assured his
mother the other day, that he had found
out where they made horses; he had seen
a man finishing one-''he was just nail
ing on his last foot.
! TEACHER: Feminine of friar 2" First
bright boy: "Hasn't any," Teacher:
"Next." Second bright boy: "Nun. "
Teacher: "That's right First bright
boy Indignantly calculates: "That's
just what l said"
"Do eagles give milk, mother?" ask
| ed the boy. No, my son, what made
you think so ?" because I've heard of
the eagles scream" The mother reach
ed for her slipper, but the embryo para
grapher had vanished.
FATHER" said an inquisitive boy,
"what is meant by close relations ?"
"Close relations, my son." replied the
father, ARE relations that never give
you cent" The boy said the old man,
then, was the "closest" relation he'd got.
"JANE," said her father, 81 thought
you hated stingy people; and yet your
young man" "Why, pa, who says
he is stingy?" ooh, nobody" replied
papa; "only l could see that he was a
little near as | passed through the
room.
A LITTLE fellow tuning over the leaves
of a scrapbook, came across the we'll
known picture of some chickens Just out
of their shell. He examined the picture
carefully, and then, with a grave, saga
cious look, slowly remarked: "They
came out cos they was afraid of being
boiled"
SCHOOL teacher to little boy whose
father is a grocer" Now, Johnny, if
your father has a barrel of whisky con-
tanning forty gallons, and one-fourth of it
leaks out, how many gallons does he
lose?" Jonny-"He doesn't lose none.
He fills it up again right off. "-GalUes-
ton NeaOS.
A LITTLE boy in a Sunday school put
a poser to his teacher. The lady was
telling her class how God punished the
Egyptians by causing the first-born of
each household to be slain. The little
boy listened attentively. At the proper
interval he mildly inquired, "What
would God have done if there had been
wins?"-Independent.
The bakers cart was standing by the
door, minus the baker. Little club
climbed up and looking into the boxes,
toasted her eyes on cookies and jumbles
immovable. "Oh, Use q good mind to
to take cookie" "But that would be
very wrong" said the nurse, reproving
~ "The baker won't see me-" "But
God will, F" solemnly. 81 know; but He
neverll tell the baker
A RELIGIOUS body having resolved to
build new church, the pastor went
about begging very zealously, accepting
not only the widows but the child's mite.
In the Sunday school few days after
ward, while instructing the children, he
compared himself to a shepherd, and
then inquired what the latter did with
his flock. One bright-eyed little fellow
promptly replied, "he shears them
A MINISTER was questioning his Sun
day school concerning the story of Euty-
chus-the young man who listening to
the preaching of the Apostle Paul fell
asleep, and, falling down, was taken up
dead. "What," he said, 'do we learn
from this solemn event? ?" when the re-
ply from little girl came pat and
prompt, "Please, sir, ministers shonld
learn not to preach too long sermons. "
A PROMISING youth recently surprised
his father by asking, "Father, DO you
like mother?' "Why, yes, OF course"
"And she likes you?' "Of course she
does" odd she ever say SOP" "Many
time, my son." "Did she marry you
because she loved you ?" Certainly
she did" The boy carefully scrutinized
his parent, and, after long pause, ask
ed, "Well, was she as near-sighted then
as she is now?"
TEACHER, who Is trying to explain the
meaning of repentance: "Suppose bad
boy were to steal an orange, and his
good mother should catch him with it,
and take him by the hand gently, and
tell him how wicked it is, and how very,
very grieved she was: don't you think
now that the little boy ought to feel
sorry Sunday scholar: "Yessum.
Teacher: "And, why, Marmaduke 2"
S. s.: 'Cause-" Teacher: "Be-
cause what, Marmy?' S. s.: "Cause
he hadn't ate the or'nge befo' his ma
cotch him and tuck it away fun him? "
THE ShOotinp-ora1lpry D,Pn are d9inr n