The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-12-21
THINGS

Observed by q "Bazoo" Re.
porter While on . Trip
Through Suckerdom,
And Dotted Down for "Basco"
Readers to Chew This
Lords Day.
Among the most noticeable differences be-
tween Missouri and Illinois towns IL the
create. number oi churches sud TN alier
nu IA Der vI saloons in the latter than tbs
former. The difference is more marked
a. the observer travels hosthW.rJ. Ia
Egypt the number oi CHURCHES IL greater
than in Missouri. but they are comPsfa-
lively poor structures. Advancing north
ward the buildings ere more elegant and
NUMEROUS. Ia Auburn, = town oil s0J
popuis,ion, tear Springfield, there are
ai.,e L-an'iiui churches and not saloon !:
hut oue oi fire aldermen oi the town HI
formed II bAzDo reporter that the women
were inst ~ prone Toward Ignoring the de-
snands oi n. iriial duties and that the
men w"uid sie.l egg from under setting
mem -ni sell them for fresh eggs. the same
n their fellow beings do in towns where
saloons inin-e lie into business. Verify,
mankind Is naturally crooked.
NIssoUEi> REPUTATION
throughout SuckerioS Is not oi the bs-i.
Ia couvs rsxiioB, = business man 81 Pc ria
said To the EAZoO minion: "Missouri - n
block act IN between enierprising -'s,es.
and until she develops will be cUusid.r',.
Tor many years yet "a tsckwootish.'
\ pea-nuiI.r ON the Toi do, w.
&. .-h and Western railroad said, II have
-,,d papers ard book. on the Iron Mount
I ain, Hannibal Il So. Joe AMI Missouri Pa
ciiic Railways in Missouri, and on the rc>ts
iironga all the western >tsies, and Ms
u. -ouri ha. more inh sbiian:s wbo can't read,
ar ia;h-r who prefer getting their nsws
r he si,,ins around saloons and having some
one tell 10. ih.n .ny other stsle ia the
<e-i." A Bloomington csp,taiiAi ssid ~
AZ: Il .wn large t,se, of land In that
state, AID I'D aboIt A. s"on have II i"csied
IN Airics" \ business man Of Canton.
il;incis, a se1 The BAZoo r-iorier: "a"
a-s;o~> allowed 10 vote la Missouri, and eau
q republic n business ran make any inoGsy
IA Missouri 2" and SO other wen asker,
Amt that M'Sson.i = God-ioIs.ke0 sees
al woO,;s," AZ 10 tie existence of such a
-eLIiun~nt Il oar sis'e throughout Illinois,
I there IL TO DOUBT. lis cau-ss are nuasi-
+ on-, aud ;hes. l. but one way ii er.dica'-
ing IL. All the natural sdssntAges u
ciiBsie, -nii, e;c., ere with u-. God Ia
. dunc ever ii,ius. AMI the CIT z-ns cJmpsi;
'iv.iy iii;i- iv ;'aild up the s,s'e. Ievc;-
. "Iun-ut at res,Irc.s, both s;ur:l and re
quirc l. il the oEiy cu's for this c:oos-d
( reputstion. Why, . great many ot thee
Suckers, otherwise sppsrra'iy Intelligent
men, believe that there ia no ga, k-,o-
sene, or eyen tsiiow candles In this s,s,s,
sni that ihe People when they desire
light ;,Su. -n,,.c lard into q saucer, FAY
rag into i; and ignite the rag. They BE-
i,eve tina, there are no ciocks, 40 wstches. OF
=un.-,ials VA Missouri. aud tn.t We tel
ia. lime II day By Joking at the sun and
by feeling the sense al go.en-s- about the
s,on.ch At uiesl times. How Iorg, oh
Lord, will ths>- Sucker. think 40 crookssily
OF IA Puses!
AEaBID RADICAL
= Capt. SSan, an attorney oil ChsmpAign,
iliin0ir. The BAZoO scriobier met hi II ON
h. train, whe, .'csp." broke out ne fol-
lows: aid Vet. ever notice the peculiar
ccincid-nc. there is in the fsct that In tie
3ii-s,yivd Me,ho,ii-t hy nan book, Ih- hymn
auu,oere. SO d, cid ''corona nation" aud -
begins, Bring forth the roya! disdem and
crown him." etc. Yon know yoa demo-
erals used TO yell 49, ~ Gsrtie:d-do
suu remember -
he aiso SAID: Do you know what would
be- al appropriate method ot RAISING
ieinocr Ai.c campa;gn pole in Missouri"
To which the reporter responded IN The ne
gsrive, when the captain continued: "fou
take " .maii pigaut tIee IRON Indisn@,
plan. IL in Missouri, wait until !; sroW- to
bs q good sized tree. ssnd a niger mp 10
cut 81 fhe branches, then tie c.,oiedeTsi Ate
Avg 10 the -rumn, AMI then your bourbon
;,nle IL srsci-d.| But such radicals n lie
- ~. 20 nj j. that they sre en- advantage
rather ih.B .n irjIry to the Democratic
party.
HE KNEW AERBIFIELp.
As the L., p. Il W. train passed through
T., Peso an elderly, sedate looking snooEer
cam. In Tie car and sat down near the re-
,or;er, and began COW ersing With him.
AZ soon ~ lee learned his residence, he
,-k~i, I'D, you know Mr. James MeTri-
ie,d. u rsiiwsy conductor ia your town.
oh y-.," responded the scribe, IL have
ihat honor"
Snocze.-Wha;'- the matter With him ?.
Reporier-Neli. opinions differ.
S-Ais'i lie about the vi dssi radical
IN the brush out Their?
X --.Dh, mo; tEe stale IL foil Ot them.
S.-Why, when ne vss out here on
Sis,; i.ist before election, he said Missouri
would 20 rspUblic n that all the iumi
giants to tina. stsie we're republicans, that
all The children born ;here since 1853 are re-
pnblic.ns sSd th IL from evefv cradle in the
-lste arises the VOICES Of bates singing "John
Erown's BODY" snd such aiiiirs. Now.
stranger, / am = democrat, and when !
told me that, felt ike making NV will
and ordering nv coffin, for when Missouri
goss republican, the people will ann have
, spread di-In!ectanis On the rem sirs of
me late democracy. am ersiided Z"
know that James wss mistaken, - the
November election showed.
Tie reparter assured him that Missouri
wac good for 5000 demosratic majority !
FOR many years get, when the old mn
..-aspei his hand and shook il warmly and
thanked him for the joyous iidine, while I
the huge i-srs rolled down from his eyes
md dropping from his chi 10 the car fioor
seemed tn play that familiar democratic /
melody, Hancock March"
CoLoRED ORATOR
hss tesn holding revival nee,ings in the .
opera honse at Bloomington. III. He il
q preacher named ID. X. Smith, and his
or.,ory ~. Of such high order that the .
opera h.u-e wss filled night after night BY ,
large suJiene-s, the msjcritv Of WHOM
s-re refined white people, 81! at which
proves that tie gifts Of eloquence, like
handsome features or inherited corns and
hnnions or ingrosing nai's, are strewn
abroad wi'hon; respect In color Of peeling,
race or presiou. condition of civi!iiy. l.
As GOOD TOWN. AZ sEDAIIA.
The reporter met a business man from
Lincoln, Neh-. Who, in respouse tn the ia-
luiry by the .er-rier, What kind OF
own IL Lincoln ?" replied, "Weil. SIR, We