The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1880-02-26
i: All Sorts of Paragraphs.
OsE has only to die to be praised.

3
around buzz saw.
B IT is the man with the rheumatism
who is every inch King.
E5. EVENTS are not in our power: but il
|. always is to make q good use of even
the worst.-Berkelev.
&. II, is said that = child born on Christ
mas will always hate turkey and goose,
J 3 and lean toward goldfish and bacon.
AN Ithaca little gir::, attempting to
describe an elephant, spoke of It as
that thing that kicks up with is nose.
The engagement ring is worn on the
/ first finger of the left hand. Any ring
with stone setting is considered fash
Sionable.
.I As MANY women learn to know theis
husbands, they wish they had learned
70 No" them when they were only
Ssweethaarts.
TIE naughty boy that sticks pins in
| ms family pew must feel that there is a
] painful necessity for. .. RELIGIONS upris-
ing among his relatives, f -, -
SYMPATHY comes near and speaks
low. 1t does not shout through q tin
trumpet and hail q mourner from the
top OF passing omnibus.
hrural Germany very small men arc
In special request a servants, because
their military services would not be de-
manded in special emergency.
The Galvestoa Ne,vs SAWS that
Shakespeare was married when he was
10, Dante at %, Brigham Young when
he was 13, 10, 20, q, %, %, "a and so
on.
THIN GNaERBREAD.-Boil one quart
molasses twenty minutes; add imme-
diately one tablespoonful soda, one cup
Of butter, ginger to taste, flour to make
paste to roll.
BEFORE the invention of pins both
sexes used ribands, loop-holes, laces
with points and tags, clasps, hooks and
skewers Of brass, silver and gold. They
were made in England in 1913.
MAMMA to Isabel a years of age)
who is rather numerically teasing the
kittens-"Jsabel, my child, you must
not do 40. I don't like to see it." Isa-
bel-"Well, don't look, mamma"
A eoNToRr1oN1sT was performing in
= New Haven variety show when the
police made q raid. He leaped over an
officer and from window twenty-five
feet to the ground, finally escaping.
"WHAT," asks q correspondent,
causes the hair to come out?" Before
we answer, We must know whether you
are married or single. This is impor-
tant to q true understanding of the
case.
The first newspaper published in
North America was the Boston NeaUs-
Letter, commenced April "a, 17O4. It
was = half sheet of paper, twelve by
eight inches, two columns on page. It
survived seventy-four years.
If children were taught to say
"mother" instead of ma" the blood
curdling cry of young goat in the ad-
joining field would never cause an anx-
ious parent to rush out to see what was
the matter with her darling.
A NAN who sat up four nights wrest-
ling with it asks this conundrum {:
"What is the difference between q sail
or and fireman." Now, hold your
breath. Zone plows the water, and the
other hose the water"
The most celebrated lighthouse of
antiquity was the one erected by
Ptolemy Soler at Pharos, near Alex
andria, Egypt, 285 B. Q. It was $50
feet high, and could be seen at q dis
tance of forty-two miles.
A GEORGIA rat was seen carving a
full-sized ear of corn in his mouth.
while at the same time his tail was
wrapped around another larger ear
which he was dragging behind him.
Georgia always did produce some queer
old rats.
A CAMDEN N. J.) paper asserts that
the following notice was found on the
door Of . business firm in that city:
ITO our creditors-We have busted.
As everything else is going up, We trust
you will not feel surprised"
An old oyster digger who had caught
billions, and eaten millions of the de-
ioious bivalve, was delighted with a
dish given him ut church fair called
"oyster stew" He said it was so new
to him-he was sick of oysters.
Loa1oA1.-His Honor ~Prisoner,
you say you are homeless?" Prisoner
Yes, your Honor" His Honor
You have no means of existence what
ever?" Prisoner-~No, your Honor"
His Honor-"Very well. After pause
The court condemns you to pay q fine
of g."
The fact that little Norway has the
second largest commercial feet in the
world is alleged to be entirely due to
the fact that villages pool their saw
ings to build or buy ship, instead OF,
a. here, putting them into a savings
bank to provide fast horses, etc., for .
delinquent manager.
THOMAS WILSON, of Baltimore, left
5000 to the Society of Friends, and
said he would have left them more if
he thought they needed it. But he put
his largest bequest where he thought it
would do most good, namely, into an
orphanage and asylum for the poor. To
this he gave $715,000.
A CORRESPONDENT OF a.leading Lon
don weekly points out that there were
in Ireland, in 1870, 526, ,628 tenants at
"~~~ SsAsSV AoS "AVAOOb 0Ay C01t6lutY OF
security of possession. Taking the av-
erage Of each household q. four, this
gives 2 ,1O6, ,512 persons who are depend
ent upon sufferance for . home.
The cold-water ordeal was an ancient
method of testing the guilt or inno-
cence of persons accused of crime. The
accused, being tied under the arms, was
thrown into the river. If he sank to
the bottom he was held to be guiltless
and drawn up by the cord; but if he
foated tho water rejected him because
of his guilt.
To SOME men nature Is like some
women, inasmuch as it may be neces-
sary to thrust them into her acquaint-
ance and imprison them there before
they will learn to appreciate their
worth, but then, 80 great is the revela-
ton, they will call themselves stupid
for not loving her before.-Good CON-
p1ep.
LEAP year originated with the astron-
OmorD of Juliua Ca9aar. AZ r. q. Thew