The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-04-28
ANOTHER BIFF.

ANOTHER BIFF.
The Way.a California Judge Decided
"Gluckerson vs.. Van Snyder" read of
Judge Rix, the other morning. II be-
ieve this is an assault and battery case,
isn't it2 Well, gentlemen, what have you
to say for yourselves2'
Mr.. Van Snyder, the defendant, stood
up and said, '"May it please the court, 1
have only administered to this reptile
the plaintiff, the punishment due to 8
swindler and traitor" ...
"Swindler yourself!' roared Glucker.
son, who had his arm in sling, and was
very much pasted up about the Uranium
"He's cold-blooded assassin, Judge
that's what he isl
do you take this for the capitol al
Sacramento?' inquired his Honor, Sc.
verely "Confne yourselves to a state
= ment of the facts, or I'll know the reason
why"
IF it please your Honor" said Van
Snyder, "the facts are these: In the first
place, the plaintiff there is sort of cap
per--outside man-for stock broker y
"Ah! he is, is he?" said the court, omin-
ously, while the spectators began to hiss
and groan. -.
cts lie, your Honor!' put in Gluck-
erson, eagerly. "I'm respectable man,
your HONOR
"And although he has been neighbor
OF mine for years." continued Van Sny-
der, "he came 10 me one evening last fall
and said he'd let me into a new sfind' up
in Lake county. Something dead sure
bang up" a
"The cold-blooded wretch p cried the
court. -.
"Said he hoped he might never stir.
your Honor, if 1T wouldn't run twenty
thousand dollars to the ton. He said I
could buy the property for TWENTY-FIVE
thousand dollars from a company, divide
the stock with him and salt away trade
dollars by the barrel"
II didn't say barrel-I said keg," mur-
INJURED the paste-up man.
swell, believed what he said, your
Honor, and went IN. I ought to have
known better, It's true, but l got kind of
carried away with the report of the ex-
pert who examined the property
Zone OF the contingent commission
kind" said the court, in mournful tone
OF voice, while the bailiff sighed, and the
clerk shook his head retrospectively.
Exactly see your Honor has been
there. Well, the upshot of it all was
that mortgaged my home and raised the
money. He didn't put in a cent, the
court will please recollect, and"
II put in my experience" remarked
the plaintiff, behind his bandages.
''Well, the property was purchased-a
tule ranch, your Honor-and decided to
me, and we started the Dick Turpin
Mining and Milling Company.
"Just the right name, too," said the
magistrate, refectively.
"Precisely; and after I had 'guaran-
teed in all my best friends and relations
I found thaHthe shaft had been ssalted,'
and that there wasn't five dollars worth
OF ore within ten miles of the
place.
"Croppings must have given OUT,
murmured Gluckerson.
"1n fact the whole thing was put-up
job-the most cold FLOODED swindle-the
the"
"The regular thing" suggested the
judge.
"Exactly, and when tried to hunt up
this wretch Gluckerson, whom it seems
had stood in with the seller for eighty
per cent. of the purchase money-my
twenty-five thousand, the court will please
remember-why, he was NON est Snveetus
couldn't be found-and vanished like
like
"The snowflake on the river" sug-
gested one of the spectators, who was
very promptly fired out by the door
keeper.
"Any way, he couldn't be found, and
when advertised for information of him,
| got a postal card from New Orleans.
He was travelling in style, your Honor,
saying that he had forgotten to mention
there was big pond on the property,
and that if | cared anything for duck
shooting" o e
"I'll bet fifty dollars I can kill more
ducks from sun up to sun down than any
man in the state, " said the Judge, wax
ing up just then. "Got fifty-f7e down
at the drawbridge last Sunday, and how
ever, go on with the case.'
swell, your Homer, to be brief, l was
cleaned out-hat broke, with nothing left
but this Internal wild cat proposition to
show for my money. OF course, then,
had but one chance lett
"New York2'' said the court, with an
understandable wink, while the audience
smiled and nudged each other.
Precisely; New York, your Honor.
So bought wide-brimmed felt hat,
velvet vest, red tie, half pound quartz.
and-gold watch chain, stuck on half
dozen Of these big, dollar. store diamonds
in fact, the regular New York mine
holders outft-and I started, setting up
champaign for the conductor all the way
over-ln fact, did, as they say, the
usual thing"
"Dlsagreeable business" remarked the
judge.
Extremely, your Honor; but I s'pose
we've all got to do 1t, sometime or other.
Well, ! put up at the Gllsey, called On
jim Keene, dined with lot Of Wall
Street fellows at Delmonico's, and gave
the waiter . twenty every time. Comes