Connecticut western news., 1880-02-04
Making Calls.
BY NOSE SKINNER.

Mr. Editor:-Before I went off the stage of society through the trap-door of matrimony I used to make great many calls. Like all verdant young men who drift idioticauy on to the. breakers of married life, I called mostly on young ladies. And thought it was. very fine and grand to do this, and I used to put on my best clothes, and prettiest necktie, and castor-oil my hair, and brush myself up generally, and start of, thoroughly convinced that ! was @ avery genteel and fashionable party, aud a great acquisition to society. l didn't know then that every marriageable young man is looked upon as so much prey to .Se entrapped, and the young women who were so glad to see me were only pieces of bait. And I didn't know that the old ladies who made things So pleasant for me were just setting the trap as attractiveIy as possible, and getting themselves ready to. do the worrying after the victim was ensnared 1; warming him up, as might say, with a little dose of mother-in-law.
 No, I, didn't know this, so I used to march up the steps very frisky, and ring the door-bell, and inquire for the young ladies with blind trust and con- fdence amounting to stupidity. I, was even unconscious of the fact that in some instances the old lady was squint- ing at me over the banisters, and look ing me over, with view to my value as a conjugal investment for one of her olive branches, previous to . sending down word as to whether said olive. branches were at home. ....l.t I can't say that ever thoroughly en- joyed these calls. They were for the most part very thin aeairs, especially as regards the conversation. The ideas being very slim and weak, the converse tion was naturally lean and unhealthy. and it was as hard work to get fresh subject we'll underway as itever was in dissecting-room. I. remember how I struggled to make myself agreeable by discussing various frothy' matters, generally falling back on anecdotes about my dog lip, and my visit into the country last summer. Then I would glance at the piano in supplicating way Chow cheerful it is now, by the way, for me to go in house where there isn't piano such houses are scarce, but you can find 'em1 and ask the young lady in a very humble tone if she wouldn't please play. If she declined, with simper, wasn't discouraged. I o, no, not even when she said she was out of practics, and the piano was out of tune. I aattered myself that had travelled, and was up to that dodge, and so insisted upon it. F-
 There was one piece of music that I used to expect regularly, because I never asked a young lady to play some thing that she didn't play this particu- lar piece the first one. It seemed to be sort of mania with them. Often, when left alone for moment, I would hur- riedly look through a pile of music to see if that piece was there, and when I found it the cold sweat would start out on my forehead, for knew I should have to hear it before I could get any thing else. It is called The Maiden's s Prayer" Now, I have nothing to say against "The Maiden's Prayer" It may have been a very soul-stirring an- them in it's infancy, but after hearing it three hundred and forty odd times became impressed with the idea that there was sameness about it. There is nothing sparkling or attractive about an old maiden's prayer. I like fried tripe, for instance, twenty-one times a week, but for a regular diet I consider it exhaustive. a.. . ..s
 But think finally got hardened to "The Msiden's Prayer" for when a person got through playing it, and bid for little fattery by remarking that they never could play that piece, I would say, very vivaciously: ''Very pretty indeed, and charmingly played. What is that called must remember and get it for my sister ;" which, in the first place considering that my sister couldn't play, and in the second place that had no sister, might be called a polite fiction.
 And I never have forgotten, and never shall forget, what was brought out for my entertainment after the playing was done. Without that cheerful episode a call would be nothing. Without that article a parlor would look bare, and young men and women who are bashful would never get acquainted. Every body has got two or three. In furnish ing house it is almost the first thing purchased, and when you enter a room you are disappointed if you don't see at least two. I mean a photographic album. An, how many photographic albums have looked through, and how happy they have made me How I used to long for the time when somebody would bring me an album, and tell me the names of all the people in it, and all about each ones family affairs. And when we came to a person who was par ticularly obscu re, they would ask me to guess who it was. It was beautiful. It was exhilarating. No sameness to that. It was recreation I never tired of, and often when got through I would com mence and go all over them again, to see if could tell the names without making any mistakes. And if there's any thing, to this day, I really enjoy, it is looking through thick album of entire strangers, and have one of the