The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1880-03-26
WHAT THE WITS SAY.
Tvs q very curious thing that the Nihil-
lists haven't tried kerosene lamp on the
Czar.--ALbdnu Times.

lists haven't tried kerosene lamp on the
.Czar.--AlbGny Times.
Edison has had LII. d. tackled to his
name by Rutgers College. Do these letters
mean Light Long Delayed
itis said there are TOO different ways Of
cooking onions. In eating them the result
il the same always.-Neto Orleans Picay-
nne.
Truth crushed to earth will rise
agaio," and the same thing is true OF a
barrel hoop IL you happen to step on Il just
right. Waterloo Observer.
A Cincinnati criticism on the Pirates
of Penzance "The thin pirate with a
terrific mastache had his right calf on
wrong side ont"
Every man who has become President of
the United States has been elected during
leap year. This is something for the
girls to wonder over.-Phila. Chronicle
Herald.
Wilhelmj stood before the footlights and
calmly surveyed the culture and refinement
at Carson City.-Trtbune. Heavens, what
nerve the great fiddler must have -
RIstler.
Sofa and no father" was what certain
young gentleman facslously remarked last
evening upon calling at the home OF his
dulcinea and finding the parent Of the
mansion absent.-Rustler.
No one knows who invented the fashion
in society of turning down the corne: of
visiting card but tho fashion Of turning
down corner of street was first thought
of by man who owed small bill to a
tradesman he saw coming.
We will give a valuable prize, consisting
of thirteen C3) years. subscription to the
Herald, for the best song on Snow" 1t
must be very melting in tone and com.
mence some hat in this strain and keep
up its lick through thirty-seven (37)
verses
flock of white geese sailed through the air,
On mol on-nOl On-nO
They scatter ed their feathers everywhere,
Ohio Ohio!
And piled them up o'er lake and land,
Ohio!
The snsw the Beautiful Snow be II
Yankee Fork Herald.
It is said that Samuel J. Tilden and
Whitelaw Reid both have a custom of put
ting their boots in the bureau drawer and
throwing their clean Gickeys under the bed
They all do it sooner or later. They ought
to have married forty years ago.-I.tsr-
Ocean.
King John, of Abyssinia. is the boss re
vivalist. He has converted 100000 Mos
lens to Christianity. His plan is to pour
boiling tallow into the eyes and ears of the
Paynim until he sees the error of his be-
lief and is converted" says the Philadel-
phia american. We should think the more
be applied such treatment toa person the
lmore it would Paynim.
1t is narrated that would-be joker in a
mixed company remarked: snow, my
friends, think Japan is the best place t"
live in the world understand that ther,
are neither Jews nor pigs there" dimin-
utive specimen, but with an unmistakeabls
| Hebrew cast of countsnanc', re.
piled "yell, my friend, tell you vat it
is. Let's you and me 60 there and exhibit
! ourselves. We coul1 make our fortune. |
| could represent the Jews and you could
take the rest Of the role to perfection.
mo jintlsman wud conthradict anth-
er ?" said Pat Maloney, yesterday, in an
interrogative style. Certainly not, Pat. "
"Wby?" " Bekase, I waz maxim spache
to the byes in Thard Ward this Afternoon,
an bad him in foine state OF frinzy
over the intillct of Oireland, an seq /.
Emmett, an O'Connell an Washington waz
Orishmen. An man in the crowd, sez
he, that's a mishtake. Mr.. Maioney.' I"
" He had you there, Pat" "No, zur, no
zur fur sez l to him, sez l, no jintieman
wad contradict anither, an he couldn't
say worud to it."