The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-02-23
ALI. sORTs.


ladies.
How's the Florida cigar crop this year
That's the Key West-ion-LosoeH Cour
ier.
No religion can succeed 10 Arkansas tina
One sealskin sacque is very good in 6
house when girls are all Of nearly one
size.
1t was the Irish horse doctor that sent
iu bill, for curing your Honor's horse
that died, 6 shillings,"
The New Orleans Ptcayune says
Never marry a woman without sense
unless you are fool yourself"
Lenny, you're a pig" said fond father
to his little boy. Now. do you know whal
a pig is, Lenny2" es, sir: a hogs
little boy. odd Paper.
There is no indignation more terrible
than that of an elderly man in horse-car
offered seat by a sympathizing lady.
when he snorts. "kup your seat, MON
they hain't stronger man 10 this carr
mel"
The Danbury Meas 10 long article
plest, cheapest and quickest way to make
u
at the election, -NoTTistoao Herald.
The man who is bringing up family
on an income of Sc week will be happy
to learn from the fashion prediction
that the Spring and Summer fashions
in elegance will surpass anything ever
seen in America. -Bsngh Gnat0a Republa-
can.
The observant "small boy" went to
church and heard the minister repeatedly
say in his prayer, Grant us. o Lord. -
He reported ct LoDe that the minister
had "come out strong for Grant. -
Boston transcript,
What is political science?" asks an ex-
change. Political science2 Political
scienoel Oh, yes, we see, When Won ca n
make the people believe that you can hold
office better than the man who Is ir, and
place, you have demonstrated about all
there is in political science, - Waterloo
Observer.
The Mankota Reuieso tells how a young
lady at donation party was bantered
for kiss by one of the ''old-time boys. T"
and she replied she would kiss him for 81,
which he paid over at once, then took his
smack, which echoed through the house.
Those "old>time boys" are b-a a-d men,
and the girls should beware of them.
IA bright youth asked: s'Father are you
10 favor of reading the Bible in the public
schools?' The father replied that he was
most thoroughly SO; the youth continued
wv ell, | thought SO; the for you never read
it at home" This ended the discussion of it
10 that family for the day,
Some Colorado white folks don't like
negroes. They had ball at little town
out there, recently, and the foor-manager
swore that no negroes should come in; if
they did. be would shoot them. One of
the hard cases of the neiahbo rhood black
ened W his face, for q i)ke, and went to
toe ball The surgeons about there are
now engaged in lead miaiog that is, they
are digging the lead ont Of the man who
went 10 the ball as ''nigger."
It having been stated that Mrs. Lincoln
gave the last ball al the White House at
which there vas dancing, the Boston Foss
wants "a sroW who gave the last ball at
which there was 40 dancing. This must
have been tthe diplomatic and well-re-
mem bered Secretary Fish ball. N 0.
PtcGyuRe.
An umbrella has been constructed for
the Prince of Wales with a sword iucased
in the stick. Now let some genius make
him fishing pole that can't be distin-
euished from cane, containing pocket
flask in one end. and thousands OF Ameri-
cans will wish they were the Prince of
Wales, -At0rrist0son Herald
The Gate City feud, of keokuk, AYERS
that The pugilist who batters up his anita
gonist often gets bis pound of flesh with
out spiIing a single drop OF blood. Our
experience 10 the matter, however, conveys
the impression that it depends upon the
locality in which he bats. All the bril-
Iianey some people possess lies in their
nose.
Two New Orleans editors got mad at
each other and went out to fight duel as
means of settling the difficulty. Had
they lived in Maine they would have con-
tented themselves with calling each other
swiIl buckets through the editorial col
nmns of their respective papers. -Roct;
land Courier.
Denver News.
1t ia a very serious mistake for the rad
zeal press to suppose that because Colora-
do has gone Republican in two general
ELECTIONS il must of necessity always so
that way 1t Is debatabie state, and
will probably he so for many years to
come. TOUT years ago UobSTai hughes
10 doubt carried it for the Democrats
against his Republican competitor, but by
a radical process of manipulation then
much 10 vogue among Republicans he was
counted cut,
bansiile Ills Pest.
We are Informed by what we regard as
reliable authority. that Gen. l.. b. Par
sons. OF Clay county, will be a candidate
before the Democratic convention for
governor.
Gen. Parsons is one of the ablest men in
the state.
He has ability as an organizer surpassed
by no man.
He is a democrat. and has remained
through all the trials and tribu-
lations of the past.
He has uniformly disapproved of the
policy OF hitcbing the party on to the tail
Of Some one else's kits.
With Parsons as candidate and to
the campaign, aud good county
tickets throughout the state, there is
,hance to carry the election.
Jacksonville (Ills.) Journal