The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1880-12-25

The following very amusing and in
genious composition has been sent US for
publication. It may serve as very good
exercise for rhetorical reading.-Erehange
shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes. Sew.
enteen summers speeding storms spread
ing sunshine saw simon's small. shabby
shop still standing staunch; saw Simon's
seli-same squeaking sign still swinging
swiftly, specifying, Simon Short, Smith
fields sole surviving shoemaker. Shoes
soled, sewed superfinely." Simon's
sedulous spouse, Sally Short, Sewed
shirts, stitched sheets, stuffed sofas. ST.
mons six stout sturdy sons, Seth,
Samuel, Stephen, Saul, silas, shadrach,
sold sundiies. Sober Seth sold saddles,
stirrups; spacious Stephen sold silks,
satins, shawls; skeptical Saul cold silver
salyers; selfish Shadrach sold salyes. shoe
strings, soaps, saws, skates; slack silas
sold Sally Shorts stuffed sofas. Some
seven summers since, Simon's second son,
Samuel, saw Sophia sopbronia Spriggs
somewhers-sweet, sensible, smart, So.
phouia Spriggs. Sam soon showed
strange symptoms. Sam seldom stood
selling saddles. Sam sighed sor.
roWtully sought Sophia Sophronia Spriggs
society, sung ssyeral serenades slyly. ST.
mon stormed, scowled severely, said Sam
seen ed 80. silly singing such senseless
songs, strutting, spend.thriit, scatter.
Drained simpleton. "sottly, sire" said
sweet Sally; SANS smitten-sam's spied
some sweet. heart" Sentimental silly
school.boy," snarled Simon. "smitten!
Stop such stuff" Simon sent sslly's
snuff box spinning, seized Sally's sissors,
smashed sally's spectacles, scattered sew.
eral spools. "sneaking scoundrelW 81.
mon suddenly stopped speaking, started
shonward swiftly.
sallv sighed sadly; summoning Sam she
spoke sympathizipgly. sam. said she,
"slre seems singularly snappish; so,sonny,
stop strolling streets, stop smoking, stop
spending specie superhuously stop singing
sernades slyly, stop short; sell saddles
sensibly: see Sophia Sophronia spriggs
speedily, Sam" $50 soon?" said Sam,
Sanding still. $50 soon, surely" said
sally, smllingly, especially since sire
shows such spirit,"-so Sam,
somewhat scared, sauntered slowly,
shaking stupendously: Sam soliloquizess,
"Sorhia sophroHis Short, sam Shorts
spouse, sounds splendid! Suppose she
should say she shan't2" Sam soon spied
Sophia starching shirts, singing softly;
seeing Sam, she stopped, saluttng Sam
smilingly-sam stammered shockingly,
"spl-spl-splendid summer season, So:
phia,n Somewhat sultry," suggested
Sophia. ,"sar-sar-tin,' said Sam.
(silence seventeen eeconds) Selling
saddles still, SAINT" '"sar-sartin, /" said
Sam, starting suddenly. "sire shot sixty
snipe Saturday" said Sophia. "Shool"
said Sam. (silsnce seventy.seven sec:
onds.) "see sister Sues spnAowersY'
said Sophia, socially silencing such sttti
silence. Such sprightly sauciness stimu-
lated Sam strangely; so suddenly speak
ing, Isendmentally, samuelsaid, Sophia,
susan's sunAowers seem saying, Sam
Short, sophronia spriggs, stroll serens!y,
seek some sequestered spot, some syl'
van shade; sparkling streams shall sing
come soul stirring strains, sweet songsters
silence secret siRhings, sylphs shall"
Sophia snickered, SO Sam stopped. $50.
phia," said Sam, solemnly. "ssm," said
she. Sophia, step smiling; Sam Shorts
sincere. Sans seeking some sweet
spouse" She stood silently. Speak, So
phia; speak. such silence speculates sor'
row." "seek Sue, Sam, said Sophia. 81
Sam sought Sue spriggs. Sweet Sue
sprigEs said, "sartin."