The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-09-21
LOVERS LEFT.
A Cooling Couple Blown Apart by
the Explosion Of Set Of
Cel,uioid Teeth.

"wani an'item p said Joe Pel,ier ye.;e,
day to . BAzOo missionary.
"Y-s," replied the pencil pusher.
"Weli," continued Joe, Ut VA lasi Fri
day evening; was walking along Seventh
street; the moon was running with full
force of hands and the stars we've all .,
duty. Twas such u night n lovers choos.
to whisper sofI words and loving vows int,
the auditory apparatuses Of the idols o
their affection.
As passed a beautiful ressdence,
noticed . ret-haired young lsdy folded i,
the arms Of youth who wore srtificia
teeth which we're made Of celluloid.
''She had leaned over to lend him hei
cud Of chewing gum for fes moment.
when her hair touched those teeth. and
horror Of horror.. they exploded. Olsen
tnngling their arm irons around each OtheI
and throwing the young lady bodily acro~
the psling fence toward me.
"What conld doy Here came the form
Of the lady flying toward me, her striped
and embcllished hosiery Visible, and CON-
ing rushing through the AIR. ! bsacei
myself, intending to take her IN and save
her life and limb. but ~ abe came closeI
] noticed that her gsitcrs were No. IS and
the limb. reaching outward from the same
psoportionstely veighiy, I thought Of my
own frail system, Of my equity shin and
semi-para:vii: frame. and backed: o. q
short distance and let her strike the ground
and rebound.
"You would have been surprised to have
va in that lady. She bounced to about
the height If my head. vsIienily caught
her On the 6rst bounce, smoosh~d down her
ruffied feelings and toilet. carried her to
her home and restored her To the bneom Of
her friends. Do You are hov ihe..bark
vas knocked off my frame BY the scci.
deni?"
The reporter, after considerable effort.
got his mouth TO 90 of and asked vhsl he.
csme Of the young maa.
The young men," cried Joe, shat va
the sirangssi part 81 the story. The force
Of the explosion blew him right through
the house and up through the air es.iward
A. he flew through the air vith q lock OF
the girls red hair. which had become
lodged on the snsxs Of natural teeth which
.tili remsin~d in his mouth, streaming tn
the hres1s, he was mistaken for . meteor
over in Cooper and Galway counties.
so great vas the briIliancy Of the red
hair that many believed the world vas
coming to an end and fell on their knees
and he.ough, the Gods TO spare them and
carry them on spring beds Of ease to first
clss boarding houses. who're the steak il
veil sledxe hsmmered and the coffee il un-
beyond the skies. Hedescended
almost TO the ground while paRing over
Pike county. ssked man for . copy Of the
BAzoo,a chew Of 6ne-cut and a. TO What was
the latest news from Maine. then rose rsp-
idly and proceeded MAiDsvard, yelling
Rah for Davis' Il il suppoaed that he
has gone to the Pine Tree state to help poll
Davis through or to console him over his
defeat. His mother 10 very much alarmed
about him and cries slmoas continuously.
She il afraid some shsrp-poinsed church
cupslo OF some similarly unpsdded snag
vili rice up and j.b him in the stomach OF
perfoss,e his bowels or something. II you
'ee ANYTHING Of him just tell him the old
|sdy has several cases al sadness on her
iocket and Il would Be advisable for him
10 aiieht and attend to the same and paciiy
he heaving billovs Of anxiety thss ere
,lsying leap frcg around over the mater
,al palpitaios."