The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-05-19
STARTING A PAPER.

1t was nearly twenty years ago when Dan
De guile and Mark Twain attempted to start
a paper in Mendocino county. They took the
type and material of their recently defunct
establishment in San Francisco, and loading
the stuff on big wagon, struck out into the
country to retrieve their fortune They pack
ed their type just as it stood In the forms, tied
up the articles with stout cords by process
well known to printers, and, packing them
closely in boxes vowed to establish news
paper somewhere which would be the leading
exponent of politics and history on the Pacific
coast. Had not an unfortunate circumstance
taken place 1t is evident that the newspaper
which they contemplated starting would have
been alive to-day. Their journey over the
mountains was utterly uneventful until they
reached Simpsons station, place well known
to old travellers on that route. Here they met
party of emigrants making for Lower Cali
fornia, and the latter bad with them small
mountain howitzer which they had brought
with them across the plains.
Twain took great fancy to this gnu, and
offered fifty dollars for it with two kegs OF
powder. The emgrants we're glad enough to
part with it, as they concluded the time for
its use had passed. Dan thought the pur-
chase of artillery and military supplies was
reckless piece of extravaganza, and said as
much, but Mark replied
| "When we start our paper we must fire
salute. A newspaper office with artillery has
a big bulge ON tho business. No well-regu-
lated Office in California should be without
howitzer. If man comes in for retraction
we can blow him into the next county. The
howitzer goes.'
This silenced argument, and the next day
the two journalists took the road with their
printing office and artillery.
The next night they camped in a mountain
ravine, fifteen miles from Simpsons, and af-
ter building the usual camp fire, fell asleep
them by prancing about, and the two Journal
lists were led to the conclusion that a party of
Indians was making arrangements for night
attack. In the clear moonlight persons could
be distinguished about half mile away at
the foot of the rayine. The idea Of encoun-
tering Indians had never entered the heads of
the two fortune seekers and they had no arms.
Suddenly Twain frightened up, remarking
The howitzer.''
" We have got nothing but powder" said
Dan.
swell, powder II scare EN- and we'll
load her up
The piece was Immediately loaded with q
good big charge, and the two men felt quite
certain that the Indians, hearing the roar of
the gun, would beat an unconditional retreat.
The piece was hardly loaded and placed in
position when about forty redskins came
charging up the ravine.
Twain seized brand from the camp fire
and was about to lay 1t on the touch-hole,
when Dan yelled " Hold on !! +" as he ramm ed
something into the mouth of the piece and
remarked
I" Turn 'er loose.''
The roar of the howitzer echoed through
the lonely forest, and the savages, with fran.
tic cries of pain, reeled down the ravine in
wild confusion.
What did you put in ?" asked Mark.
"a column of solid nonpareil and q couple
of sticks of your spring poetry"
+" The poetry did the business Dan. Get
one of your geographical articles ready for
the next charge, and guess it'll let the red
skins out for the present campaign"
The savages again advanced. Mark attend
ed to the powder, and Dan assorted the shot,
SO to speak.
q Jeems Pipes song, My Mountain
Home.'"
"Good for three Indians--sock'er in"
San acrostic by John B. Ridge. in long
primer"
It'll paralyze EN-"
"Frank Pixley on the Constitution-half a
column of loaded BREWER"
" If 1t hits 'em, the day is won."
!" Your leader on Law and Order"
" Save it as last resort"
Dan pulled the type out of the boxes, and
stuffed column after column In the howitzer's
! mouth as the savages came charging on
Another round from the gun, and the red
skins rolled over each other like boulders
swept away by amountain cloud burst. Mark
in an ecstacy of delight, pulled an American
Flag out of his effects, nailed it on the tall
board of the wagon, and was about to make a
! speech, when the dusky figures of the foes