River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-11-04
Sense In Little Bugs.


home on our desk that has got more
sense than a delinquent subscriber
He-if it is he one; we are not clear
as to that-cmes out and sits on the
side of the paste dish, and draws in a
long breath. If the paste is fresh he
eats it and wiggles his polonaise as
to thank us, and goes away refreshed.
If the paste is sour, and smells bad, ne
looks at us with mournful expression,
and goes away looking as though it was
mighty mean trick to play on cock
roach and he runs about as though he
was offended. When package of we'd
ding cake is placed on the desk he is
the first one to find it out, and he sits
and waits till we cut the string, when
he gets into it and walks all over the
cake till he strikes the bridal cake,
when he gets on to it, stands on his
head and seems to say, "Ium, yum"
and he is as tickled as girl with
fresh beau There is human nature in
a eockroach. When a man comes in
and sits around with no business, on
our busy day, and asks questions, and
stays and keeps us from working, the
cockroach will come out and sit on the
inkstand, and look cross ut the visitor
as much as to say, "Why don't you go
away about your business and leave
the poor man alone so he can get out
some copy, and not keep us standing
around here doing nothing?" But when
the paper is out and there is look
of cheerfulness about the place, and
we are anxious to have friends call. the
cockroach flies around over the papers
and welcomes each caller as pleasantly
as he can and seems to enjoy it. One
day the paste smelled pretty bad: and
we poured about spoonful of whisky
in it and stirred it up. The cOckroaCh
came out TO breakfast and we never
saw Il person seem to enjoy the meal
any more than the cockroach did. 1t
seemed as though he couldn't get
enough paste Pretty soon he put one
hand to his head and looked cross-eyed.
He tried to climb down off the paste
dish and fell over himself and turned
fiip-fiap on the blOtting paper. Then
he looked at us in a sort of MYSTERIOUS
way, winked one eye, as much as to
say, You think YOU are smart, don't
you, old BADLY 2" Then he put one
hand to his forehead, as if in n edita-
ton, and staggered off into a drawer,
coming out presently with his arm
around another cockroach, and he took
him to the paste pot and he filled up
too, and then they locked arms and
paraded up and down on the green
cloth of the desk as though singing,
% We won't go home till morning" and
they kicked oyer the steel pens and
acted good deal like politicians after
a caucus. Finally some remark was
made by one of them that didn't suit,
and they pitched in and had the worst
fight that ever was, after which one
rushed off as if after a policeman and
the other staggered into his hole, and
we saw no more of our cockroach till
the next morning, when he came out
with one hand on his head and the
other on his stomach, and after smell
ing of the paste and looking sick he
walked off to a bottle of settler water
and crawled up TO the cork and looked
around with an expression so human
that we uncorcked the bottle and let
HIM in, and he drank as though he had
been eating Goldfish. Since that day
he looks at us a little suspicious, and
when the taste smells peculiar he goes
and gets another cockroach to eat some
of it first. and he watches the effect.
Now, you wouldn't believe it, but
that cockroach can tell the minute he
sees a man whether the man has come
in with a bill or has come in to pay
money We don't know how he does
it. but when a man has a bill the cock
roach begins to look solemn and mourn
full and puts his hands to his eyes as
though weeping. If man comes in
IT, pay money the cockroach looks glad,
4 smile plays around his mouth and he
acts kitteny. He acts the most human
when ladies come into the office. If
book agent comes in he makes no at
tempt to show his disgust. One day an
old person came in with life of Gar
field and laid it on the table, opened to
the picture of the candidate, and left it,
The cockroach walked through the vio-
let ink and got his feet all covered, and
then he walked all over the book and
left his mark. The woman saw the
tracks, and thought we had signed our
name, and she said she was sorry we
had written our signature there, be-
cause she had another book for subscri-
bers names. When a handsome lady
comes in the cockroach is in his ele
ment, and there is a good deal of proud
flesh about him. He puts his thumbs
in the arm-holes Of his vest and walks
around. One day we put our face up
to a deaf young lady to speak to her,
and the cockroach looked right the
other way, and seemed to be busy look
ing over an old copy of the Christian
Statesman, but when he found that we
only yelled at the lady, he Yinked as
much as to say, well, how did / know"
g, that coekroach is a thoroughbred.
Cincinnati Irish Citizen.
Mr.. Thomas Lewis, 81 Butler street,
informs us that for seven years he was
afflicted with that dreadful malady,
Sciatica, and being induced to try st.
Jacobs Oil, found almost immediate re-
lief therefrom, and is now perfectly