The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-07-24
TARIETY.

TIE NJ exploded with laughter probably
dn't ~ ~ It was loaded.
Jexsis held in most regard by horse fanciers-
nds.
The best iiP solve known is a kiss but it
|guId BE- used With eau. .iOn as it is liable TO en-
ntsr an affection of the heart.
As urchiE. having heard for the FIRST time the
ssd = 4larmailJe " Immediately asked his
',ra What it was that mamma laid.
EGmarkable transformations-When a lady
1cucs belle; and when a horse is turned into
p1slnre.
he butcher who sent tender lines to his sweet
.1rt ID now disconsOlate because the maiden has
Ecled his suet-
Gen. MelikOf has a way of his own in dealing
kh Rnssian editors. He writes about as fol-
W. "Seize the Office, imprison the editor, sus-
NJ me paper and send the devil to Siberia
Father (whO is always trying to teach his son
',H 10 act while at the Lablel: - Well, John,
'u SEE that when l have finished eating 1 al
'zgs lsave the table" John: 90 Yes, SIR, and
a. Is bout ali you DO leave.''
That was a triumphal appeal Of the lover of
.lllquity, who, in arguing the superiority Of old
|chiteotnre over the new, said 50 Where will
tn Ind any modern building that has lasted so
|1g ~ the ancient?''
' An Ohio man went out and hanged himself the
her Jay, because Columbus dentist told him
d tooth was affected with nodular calcifcation
che pulp He left note to his wife, saying
didn't want to live on, and give it to her and
children.
Dennis Kearney was not the advocate or friend
the INDUSTRIOUS, law abiding workingmen, but
|ly OF those who rob the world Of a living
sir0if Free Press. Which hits the nail exact
on she heA4--Ne1v HareH Register.
When we see a clergyman kissing the male
'hmbers Of the Cock well as the female-the
bnccc chewing, pipe-smoking, beer-drinkIng
y sinners, well as the young and pretty ones,
begin 10 believe that his heart Is in his work.
Nug York Express
.rhe children Of Thomas McCarty, Of Rutland,
% The poker red hot Sunday morning, and the
f thing that Thomas MeCarty did when lie
} out or bed was to step upon it, and it doesn't
|peaT Necessary to state what were the two
|ngs that Thomas McCarty next did stimuli
Peously .-BOstou Post
y H., uncle. what d'the tornado do for you ? -
Wy, Mars, it done tornado of'n my cabin
Hould ~ torn mo- on'y day wuzn't but one
| to h. an it tore out de winders, an kerried
roof OF in It's wes pocket, an knocked down
dc e. walls, but, bress de Lord, it lef' me de
| lar fur 30 sprout n nudder cabin from
acinnnf Commercial.
Hath not a charm for me,
want a marble mansion
a. Newport-by-the-Sea-
And don Z want to foot
when going TO the store.
But I want 10 travel in
a stylish cOach-and-fOur.
-CfHcfHHdfi Commercial.
Ia wlman's journal says Gabrielle L. Stickney,
q nrmber Of years a composition in the Chi
Il Legal News Office, ''has secured the appoint
nc Of n0tary public, and now does most of the
earring ior the Village Of COllyer, KS" If the
b u a. gifted in prOiane history as some male
|1posiiors, she might include the adjoining
|nfs N her swearing territory without feeling
'rw0fked -N0TTIst0lCH Herald.
|8adl, Mixed "a Chicago reporter lately
nt one afternoon to s'dO" a cattle fair, and ut
r. 30 ''fnish up a grand ball. The next
<uinx The office was beseiged by thirteen en-
|1d husbands, seven big brothers, and dozens
+islers. cousin and aunts, each holding a copy
the PAPER, and pointing to this paragraph:
b Alice B., a beautiful blonde heifer, cowbells
] diamonds, etc. Miss Betty c., charming
nefse, pink silk and pearls; second prize;
r. horn Mrs. Sarah Eliza ", beautiful |
..ron arrayed in Durham satin, embroidered in |
ierney pink, cowbell set in diamonds, real
>. aud weighing l ,039 lbs on the scales; hrst |
<e. 500. The rest of the report was similar |
|s17ie The doctors bills Of the reporter and |
.sz tsge not been computed--NsIg Age.