Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-06-30
t.f.sHt
FUNNYGRAPHS.

FUNNIGKAPHS.
APLAcE for everything and everything
IN its place-The baby mouth. -ZorOpa--
to Grip.
MEN who go fishing carry large guam
titles OF remedy for snake bites.--N o.
Picaya0ae.
WHEN a man is climbing the ladder of
fame he likes rounds of applause. Y
Herald.
MANY man is thought to be perfect
brick, when in fact he is only a little
sunburnt.
In the Salt Lake City flats appears
this sign: Ring the top bell for the.
Oldest wife"
THE best strawberries and the best men
are generally found at the top.-Bostoe-
Transcript.
The strength of many politicians lies
in the fact that they keep Mumm. -NeaU
Orleans Picayatne.
A FRENCHMAN says that the soul of
wine is at it's top. It must be cork
soul.
In purchasing a house, the buyer
should be sure the seller is not too
deep for him.--Bostoaa Com. Bulletin.
A FAcETIoUs census enumeration calls
his book of names new edition of the
Conflict of Ages. -NOTriStO1U7o Her.
aid.
A STEAM bicycle has been invented.
This will fill a long felt want. A steam
bicycle may explode and kill it's rider.
NoavistoaOn Herald.
Two Bridgeport children playing with
LII , IL L
to kill it. It must have been very
cheap cat.-Daaabvry Mas.
IT is not fair thing for wealthy con-
gregation to go off on summer tour
and leave a clergyman to preach all by
himself -Nea0 Orleans Picayune.
A STORY in an exchange says: "The-
boy stood with bated breath, waiting for
his father" Had his mouth full of fish
worms, we guess.-Philadekohia Hena.-
The census people are getting ahead;
but at two cents head they are not
making much money.-NeaO Orleans:
Picayat7ae.
CANT that lovely critter, John p"
said Jerusha, as they stopped opposite,
the leopard's cage. "Waal, yes;' said
John; &c but then he's dreffully freckled,
amt hep"
A POULTRY authority says that "chick-
ems should have no ample range" It
depends upon the number of chickens.
A little chicken will broil pretty well
over a very small stove.-NeaU York
Herald.
The ice famine is showing forth it's
natural consequence, and the ice men
have sold their teams and are now de-
ivering ten pound Jumps of ice by postal
card. That is just the way we expected
it would be-Er.
DoCToR-Qookingl learned and speak
ing slowly Well, mariner, which do you
want extracted? Is it the molar, or the
incisor? Jack (short and sharp)-It is
in the upper tier, on the larboard side.
Bear hand, you swab, for its nipping
my jaw Like lobster"
IT is said that the deepest gorge in the
world has been discovered in Colorado.
We always had the impression that the
biggest gorgein the country might be wit
messed at railway station where the
train stops GIVE minutes for dinner. .
NorristoaUn Herald.
A FU1L-GRowN man who throws his
banana peels upon the sidewalk is no
Christian. -E:rch02age Well, what do
you think Of the banana peel that throws,
tull-grown man upon the sidewalk?
To educate young ladies is to let them
know all about the ogies, the omenies,
the ifics, the tics and the mistics; but
darning, washing, baking and making
pudding.
''IF [ have ever used any unkind
words, Hannah said Mr. Smiley re-
fiectively, &c Z take them all back" eyes,
I suppose you want to use them over
again. was the not very soothing reply.
-Nea0 Haven Register.
81 SAY, mister, this is double seat,
and can't lay over it in that way said
stand-up passenger in crowded car to
another passenger who was making him.
self too much home. 's'Can't lay over
the seat?" echoed the loafer "Bet
your life can. See here, I have lay
over check from the conductor, and it is.
good. ~. O. Picayune.
Two Cincinnati drummers, says the,
Enquirer, met in Chicago during the
recent convention, when the following
confab took place: "Hello, Oppenhei-
mer; where you been?" sob, Just up
by the Opposition hall where the conven-
ton is. % "Ish dot so? I been there,
too. Didn't you see me?" "See your
Mein Got, you might ash well look for a
needle in hack-stand"
Two young men in light plaid clothes
were riding down town on the Metro
politan ''L " road, reading their papers,
when one of them saw an item about a
robbery in boarding house, in which it,
was said that the perpetrators of the
crime took the jewelry of the landlady
and of three boarders. cit is funny,
Billy" said the reader, "that they
always get away with the jewelry in a
boarding house. They never steal any
thing to eat. - eaO York Herald.
The Scotchman and the mineralogist:
" Yon man gave me his bag to carry bya
short cut across the hills to his inn,
while he took the other road. Eth! it
was dreadfully heavy, and, when I got
out of his sight determined to see what