The Windham County reformer. (Battleboro, Vt.) 1876-1897, 1880-10-29
NO. H..
Hash.

When Sarah Jane, the moral miss,
Declares It's very wrong to kiss,
I'll bet shilling see through IT,
The damsell, fairly understood,
Feels just as any Christian should
Shed rather suffer wrong than do 1t.
Any fool can make woman talk, but
it's hard to make one listen.
Congress is only rogued while Parlia-
ment is always prorogued.
1t is better to have loved short girl
than never to have loved a tall.-Nodern
Argo.
Men are generally like wagons they
rattle prodigiously when there is nothing
in them.
There is not much danger when it
rains "cats and dogs" but when it Spitz
dogs, look out.
When Cincinnati man speaks of the
productions of his pen, you never know
whether he Is a literary fsller or hog
raiser.
In the first transports of delight the
happy father rushed into the room ex-
claiming, "Pve got son It's boy p
Puck
The young lady who was blamed for
allowing her glove to be discovered in a
young mans pocket, said that she had
no hand in it,
Temper in wife" exclaimed old
Colonel Firehawk; 81 like temper in
wife. l like it SO well that / hope my
wife will never lose hers"
An old maid suggests that when men
break their hearts, it is all the same as
lobster breaks his claws-another sprouts
Immediately and grows in its place.
Only short time after Galveston
politician had stated he was in the hands
of his friends, he was seen escorting two
policemen in the direction ofthe lookup.
The angel of midnight--the woman
who opens the street door for her hus-
band when he is trying to unlock the
bell-knob, and then let's him sleep on the
hall floor.
A rural chap who studied the unload
ing of Cleopatra's Needle says he doesn't
wonder that the dusky queen committed
suicide by taking viper to her bosom if
she had to sew buttons on Mark Antony's
pantaloons with needle nearly seventy
feet long, or make shirts for the dealers
of Egypt at five cents shirt.
One of our wholesale dry-goods houses
u
country went in to see him the other day,
and was surprised to learn that all the
statesmen had nicknam He asked the
floor walker why his son was called
Jury" "Oo," was the reply, he is always
sitting on cases. s."-New York Herald.
When old Mrs. Bunsby had got through
reading in the morning paper an account
of the last fire she turned her spectacles
from her ewes to the top of her head and
remarked : "If the city firemen would
wear the generwine hum knit stockints,
such as we make and wear in the coun-
hose at every fire.
A story is told of General Buffers sar-
castle retort upon Massachusetts judge
when he was teasing for ruling favora-
BILE to cause he was defending in court.
The judge got out of patience at last. anu
somewhat testify exclaimed: "Mr. Butler,
what do you think 1 sit here for?" The
General quietly shrugged his shoulders
and replied: "The Court has got me
now"
Il wish 1 was star" he said, smil-
ingly at his own poetical fancy. l would
rather you were a comet" she said,
dreamily. His heart beat tumultaously.
"And why ?" he asked, tenderly. "Oh,"
she said, with brooding earnestness
that fell upon his soul like a bare foot
upon a cold oil cloth, because then you
would come round only once every 1900
years.
A big. fat colored woman came to the
Galveston Chief of Police and told him
that her stepson had run away and she
wanted to know where he was. sit bod
ders me to know why he left. He had
everything he needed to make him COM
fable, l done all / could for him." she
observed. HAS he any marks by which
he may be rccognized?" "Well, l don't
reckon all de marks made on him with
bed slat, while de old man was holdin'
him, has faded out yit. t."-Galreston News'