Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-01-22
One of Those Pups.

He was shrewd, white-headed old gen
tleman tourist who sat slipping his lemonade
in the Baldwin barroom, san Francisco,
recently, and who remarked, as self-im-
portant looking individual came in and
haughtily ordered whisky straight.
"Now, / s'pose that gentleman is one OF
your bonanza fellows, and owns about two
thirds Of the real estate round heref"
'sNo," we replied. she's one of the sue
cessful candidates of the late election"
81 might have known i'll" exclaimed the
old gentleman, emphatically. ''He acts
| just as did when / was elected TO Con-
gress."
"How was that?"
swell, you see was elected NJ. c. from
the Fourth District just after the war. We
had pretty lively campaign of 1t, and as
| never had been in politics before, some
how got the idea that the whole country
had quit work and was watching my con-
test with quivering anxiety. Every time
! the other side accused me of being chicken
thief, or bigamist, or something, and I'd
get back at them with card In the Red
vile WarhOOp, headed "AnOther lie
Nailedt' I'd send marked copy to every
leading paper in the country"
''DId, ehI"
Yes, and | was disgusted TO find they
never paid the slightest attention to me,
! either. What surprised me most was that,
/ although kept the President and Cabinet
! advised of everything that occurred l never
! got the slightest sympathy from any Of
! them. ! was an administration man, too,
and thought it was blamed singular.
''Didnt notice you at allf"
Not at all, sir; and when was elected
and the boys lighted bonfire in the main
street. and serenaded me, and | spoke SIX
h -urs in the open air as 10 my future course
on the tariff and finances, the New York
papers merely said that "a Mr. Gum had
been elected by small majority, my name
being Gonley, as you know"
THAT was hard.
'Well, put that all down tn envy and
malice, and | started for Washington. /
expected that at least the Speaker of the
House and committee appointed by the
Senate would be down at the depot to vel
come me to the capital.
"They did sol'
THE only persons that met me were
committee of hackmen, who tore my over
coat half of, rammed me into hack and
robbed me, with the aid and assistance Of the
hotel clerk, who then gave me room on
the top floor, and asked the first weeks
board in advance; said il was the rules OF
the house with Arkansas members"
''The Impudent rascal
''1hat's what / thought. Well, the next
morning got away from the bed-bugs as
well as | conld, and went up to the White
House to see if the President would like to
stroll down to the House to introduce me
and see me sworn in. / sent up my card,
and in an hour or two some secretary or
other sent back word that the President w as
at break TasU anu CUufviu-u tC UUrIIcrcJ.
''That was pretty short, wasn't it?''
''Well, | was Just dumbfounded. How
ever, went down to the Capitol, and told
the Sergeant at Arms To go in and announce
! to the members that / had arrived. He
grlnned, and said, That's devilish good,
that is; and rushed off | expected that,
! of course, the members would come crowd
ing up to congratulate me, and say some
thing like Magnificent speech of yours,
that last one. Gonley. Beat 'em by 4S
votes, too old fellow And then mebbe
they'd give me three cheers, and all that
sort of thing"
"And did theyi"
mo, sir; I hope | may never stir il they
didn't give me 9 back seat in the cloak room
until my name was called, and door
keeper fired me out into the corridor twice
under the impression that / was lobbyist.
Well, after l had been on the joint COM
mittee on spittoons and window washing,
and spent a couple of months trying TO
wedge in my great four hour speech on the
match tax, something occurred that let
down my check rein, and took all the frills
out of me for good.
"What was that?"
''Well, l was taking drive out to the
| Soldiers Home one afternoon with three
other members, when light buggy went
| by like streak of greasea lightning, the
| trotter driven by a solemn looking man in
a rusty plug hat, who was smoking cigar,
| and steadying a small terrier on the seat
with his elbow. That's Butcher Boy,
said one of my companions with great in
terest; 'trots in 90. He's rattling good
stopper, bet your life.
'''Did you notice that dog said another.
| Best bred put in town-tail no bigger
than rat's-infernal fine dog that
"As had nothing else to say casually
inquired who the driver was.
"'Why, that's the President. said one
of them with a yawn. BY Jove, how'd
YOU like to have one of those pups.
"That settled it. I've been as meek and
sad as a carhorse pulling picnic ever
since.