New-York tribune., 1880-02-29
ENGLAND AS 1T is NOT.
A FRENCHMAN ON THE CUSTOMS OF AL
BION
Prom The Pail Mall Gazette.

|
he first asserted himself the nature of his ENVIRON
ment the origin of his majestic Ignorance, are al
involved IN obscurty, and from an indivduai Dei1g
| he has become an abstraction. Many are so III
advised as doubt if he existed but theirs is
| n heresy unusually contrOvertibe. The best au-
thorites agree in holding him to have been native
| the inspired Corinne de Stae the gifted FRANCOIS
| Wey, the acute and ardent Henri Iaine. fresn
confirmation Of this theory is afforded by the ADVENT
of certain NJ. Ernest Guiemot, author OF 9 pleas
! ing and important little work called Old Eng
| land" in which there Is much set forth that is
| novel and extraordinary.
as an heroic type of the Intelligent Forc
| eigner, that he should. after ter. years OF
England, have malntanca. n'nse sit # on sorceV .n
after only three weeks of II. lie Is dreadfully an
| moved with the original of his own Old England be-
| cause that 0ri gina does not happen to resemble
| france; and although, being a Frenchman, he was
always imme2 surably superior to his SURROUNDINGS
| hc maintained his ill-hum0r to the last. lic saw
strange sights and had grisly adventures. After
day of London he went to sleep ana dreamed SCOT %
colored dreams; everything III the place rs black
except thu faces, and these are hdeo1sly whlte. IN
the suburbs of this piebald city NJ Guiieihee went
presently to lodge; lie took up his abode IN the
house of an artisan, his familiarity With the man
ners and customs of the arIstocraey Is easty
interested him greatly. They spent their lives q
balayer r6curer ct Il dshclOther =; but they are
disgustngly dirty, 1t appears, IN ther persons any
their homes alike. All tine year round lhey ana
their male folk live, wee k-days o1 frcd nam,
fried beefsteak and cabbage fried fish or
cheese and Observation-Disclosures and tea; on sun
days these necessities are replaced by JOINT lor
dinner and by cookies and the mysterious penny
wiuce" for tea. At Christmas the lower classes are
usually drunk for seventeen days, eight before ana
eight after; the upper classes guzzle enormously ana
pass all night round the fire the streets are full OF
accordions mandons, and cornets.
Ii is the men who are religious ana well dressed
the women are neither; but their opinion OF them-
selves III matters OF taste is SO high that If bus-
band darcs 90 criticise his wic's costume she in
1I.og no nri iObf with of hrs
timate friends lmalel and suks until he Is brought
to reason. Every body is poor; nobody IS able 10
lend pound anywhere; NJ. Galllemot has often
had to conc TO the rescue and help, when without
him help would not have been forthcoming 1t fol-
lows that every one Is more or less IN debt that
" c bagman" IS national institution; ; ana that
the undertaken always refuses to work on credit,
and. III default o! money down, will not only de-
cline to bury eRht-days' corpse, but leave
1t ultl the authorities become aware of
il. The men marry at seventeen, and marry wives
much older than themselves; as natural conse-
quence they flee the society of their Gecrepit
spOus,s. who are all passonatelv fond of gin aud
chlld-bearug. for the public-house When tne wo-
men get drunk they usually lie down across the
pavement and refuse to move; when the men get
drunk thew invariably thrash the women; and so
runs the world away"
VI. Guiemot, philosophical observer, noted that
the pawnshop the dTamshop the tObaccOnlst, and
the accoucheur kent open long after every one else
was shut; and he knows nothing that resumes the
characteristics of the Engls race" more elopuentIy
than this simple tact, He incllncs to believe that
the English children are extraordinarily happy.
When they are at school they amuSe them
selves by collective Indecent 6chayioT III
idcnt Of the Ccntras Committee of Phi
mary Instruction." is solcmnly advised; when
they arrive at mans estate they learn to drink,
swear. and gamble, and arc never found fault WIN;
rcprImanded. they run away to America aud are
seldom heard of more. strangely enough, the cross
ing-sweepcrs and kitchcn-naids do their best TO
look like duchcsscs; aud II you give siXpencc 10 an
old lag with broom, IL is odds but she Will thak
of a new rband ere she thinks Of a gass of GIN Of
-, Iuud reds pf fhOusauIe would
APPEAR, aud Whatever they get they spend III drink
The utmost liberty prevails IN the streets; chll-
d1cn duyc hoops everywhere, ana NJ; UuIl'mQt has i
theory that the sole object of thus diversion Is the
dextrOu- impulsiOn of the hoop between the legs
Of unwary pedestrians. Another favorite amuse,
ment Is That Of dashlnQ forward across the IOad
under the noses of passing horses, whose
dryers-partcularly those of the " grandes hacks
dc pur sang reform6s DIES handsome cabs have a
wonderful knack of avoiding them. Oxen are habit
ually driven 10 slaughter along the paYemcnts.
and " retcrnel p,eambuidtor" Is rs great Nuisance
as the we'll ;ruudled hoop. the Over-driven OK.
OF course NJ Guiilemot was often IN dincullies
with these hiudTances TO the good naieur; ana II
are TO take as representative the cen OF ceI-
tain butcher, who, seeing him brought To bay Dy an
OK of unusual ferOcity, lmplored him to XIII the
beast and save Others the trouble. his embGrrass
Inents were not always considered 80 sOlemnly rs.
for his sake might have been wished. In spite Of
this independence, NJ. .Guillemot has no faith IN
the lower classes OF this England of his. regarded
rs poss ole reyolutiOuarics hc records with sorrOw
that he saw but two successful attempts az revolt
IN London-onc of them thc protest of " les jruncs
rnaTcnauds HallumeifeS' against ine Gld0rtOnc
Government, the other the stormng of Hyde Park
under the leadership of late notorious tribune OF
on the other hand he seems TO think that their
habit of raitcDinR and strking-abovc all rs cxeIn
pitied IN the Put Yourself III lis Place Of Mr..
Charles Reade-Is really dlsmally energetic. He
does NOT think IL night that lc cOaller welche,'
with twenty y-gninea ' bou e-dogue' fed custom
auly on "bitek,' should do 40 wlckcdly AS ne
does ard he recognizes that IN spite Of his tradi-
tional MOuday-yislts to Nine Tussauds and the
soothing effect of his Sunday meal of penny WIN
cles" the British working man is a sad rufian. In
scotland. NJ. Guillemot oplnes, the working classes
are more reasonable, though, as Is well known.
three-fOuiths of the rural population IN that era
die of Purtansm live "a Petat de concubnagc'
As for the Iushman, he declines 10 work on any
terms: aud NJ Guillemot believes that he prefers to
drag out "uue eIlsance de R0tdy sur la surface dc
la globe ct de Sc pavaner" IN his tattered claw
hammer coat his snort bIeeches and his tuyau de
poelc sans fond' 10 putting his hand To anything.
Il will be perceived that In this picturesque descrip-
ton OF the abstract lrshman the shIlieah is
omitted NJ. Gulllemot like other great lmaglna-
tive artists. Is far from perfect.
Concerning English women. NJ. Gnillemot Is very
hard.heartcd. They have all largo hands, turned
up at the ends and flat. thick feet; their waists
and ankles sometimes slender, but flexible they
cannot be il is mark of race that they should be
stItf vi the hips and Otherwherc They dress In
frightful taste; TespiratOr, spectacles aud
knitted comforter arc almost their only wear.
When they are unmarried. they glggle and shout
and poke each other i'll the RIBS ~ they pass you
when they matrOns, the observant foreigner ~
informed Of the fact by the mlm-mOuthed look OF
insult and eproach they direct at the other side Of
The street. Their passions are strong; once NJ.
Gmllenot had TO turn one OF them out of his room
more than once in Regents Park he has had to de-
fend himself with his cane. They are desperately
addicted to gossip, and have always IL cold III tho
head; twenty times has NJ. Gulllem0t heard preach
ers pause IN their pulpits ask ii the congregation
was coughing and sneezing aud snuiiilng
on purpose Their charity is simply non
existent. AS they are inarriageaDe NJ
twelve (by lawl while the men nubile at four
teen, many scandals take place. In the upper
classes they have nothing to do but jump barred
gates. play the piano and paint in water coloIs IN
the lower they are far from honest, and the noble
stranger will if he be wise, carry his money ON his
nersnn and lock up whatever strong drink he may
I.., ,Il,I IL nI