South Branch intelligencer. [volume] (Romney, Va. [W. Va.]) 1830-1896, 1880-02-27


and be signs receipts tbus: Nice &
Good per Simmons. 4
The question Of 1.-THE Bible In public
schools receives fresh interest from the 1
light throsn upon 1t 'sy q ton-rear did !
lad 10 the City Of Churches. Said he:
Father. arc yon in faserof reading Che
bible in the public schools p The Ia
ther rePlIed that he vas, most thorough I
": Well, thought 30 for yor never
read at at home" This ended the DIS |
'cussion OF 1T IN that fgraily for the dag.
At Corelhsgca party tie other
nigh: 4 young lady complained Of the
usage she received at the Eandz OF a
young lnaE IN attendance "Why 90
she said, The almost smothe-ed me-"
And did YOU kiss him for his rnother1"
asked the listener.
young scapegrace threw q bah at
his sister, and hit her on the back os
the head so hard that the bawl came on.
Of her mouth
An agent for a New York house called
on a Rondout merchant, recently, and
handed him picture Of his besrothed
instead Of his bus;ness card, saying be
represented that establishment. The
merchant examined IL carefully, remark
ing that Is was a Ene establishment. and
returned it ID the astonishel man, with
hope that he would soon be admitted
into partnership.
'At what age wero you married. z"
she asked inquisitiyely. But the other
lady was equally responsive. and she
quickly replied, AT the parsonage"
At fashionable church in Boston
last Sunday fve-year-old bit of a girl
made proof Of her disposition toward
good deeds. About .hc middle OF the
sermon this precocious lamb took up q
prayer book and handed it to en- elegant
young man who sat ia the pew ia front,
rcmarkiEg. as she leaned over: "Tho
man in the nightgown says for you to be
good and read the book
Eve was The first, and we reckon the
only woman who did not gather up her
drc in both hands and yell at the sight
Of snake.
An ounce of kecp-your- mouth-shut
is better than pound Of explanations
after you have said it.
''Tommy, my son, what is longitude z"
"a clothes line, daddy" How do YOU
make that oat ~ because it stretches
from poe I'D pole-
wise woman is known by the silence
she keeps.
Where no wool Is, there the fire gocth
oat SO when there is no tale-bearers tn.
strife oelsetb.
The only amaranlhine flower on earth
isvirtue; the only lasting treasure, truth.
-Copper.
The First National Bank Of Grafton
has been Incorporated. One of the first
deposits made was a two months old
baby Gu the door step Of the Cashier
lie declined TO receive it on the ground
that they were not receiving special
deposits.
"Where would we be without wo.
snan Z" asked writer. It's hard 10 de-
terTninc just which way the majority
would drift, but some men VIC know Of
would be out Of debt aud out Of trouble
and good many more out at the seat
of their brooches.
a poet says, y can never smile again.
o, yes you can. You may have thought
50 When you swore off on New Years
. day, but that same old smile price
lien cents-will play around your noutl
before tie year is two months old
Stick O pin here.
A noble lord asked u clergyman once
at tho bottom Of his table, why the
goose if there was one, was always pla
ced next TO the parson?'
Really said he, ! can give no reason
for IL; but your question is SO odd,
that 1 shall never see a goose again
without thinking OF your lordship.'
a rather unexpected reply vas received
recently from a joker whom priest
met in the road rDunching large apple
with evident gusto. You are better fed
than taught, my friend, said tie priest
Di should think Obi be- replied the cold
hopper, 'as Oh feed myself, an is you
as teaches me =
little three-year- old, having heard
the word nuisance applied 70 some med
dleSome person, remarked very emphati-
cally 10 bis grandmother who interfered
With his mischief, Grandma you are q
nuisance He caught the reproachful
look that followed, and Instantly clam.
bered ny into her lap, put his chubby
arms about her neck, and added. as If in
the same breath, And do love u nui-
sance better than anything
"Whcn I was young" said Mrs.
Scoldwcll % her little girl, II used to
love my dear mamma too well TO act as
you do" "And did your mamma"
replied Bertha quickly, FUSED to be all
the time telling you what she did when
she was o girlg"
When President Porter recently sat
down TO dinner with the other members
Of the Yale faculty and their guests, lie
was astOnished 20 learn that the dinner
was attached by the sheriff a shrcwd
Roalnn merchant Lad laken Tic onnor-