The Osceola times., 1880-10-23
WOMEN AND cows.
Why Women are Airaid-The Traditions
of the Case.
Courier-Jo Journal


Courier-Jounal
There is among women very general
dread OF cows, as may readily be demon
strated. If any stated number of women
be stood on end in a suburban street, or
in any other locality where the appear.
ance of a COW is probable, Immediately
upon the approach Of the animal the
nerves of a very large proportion of lhe
women will be strangely affected, and
they will be impelled from their posi-
tions. They often, also make use of
CALCULATIONS expressive of the utmost
fear. This experiment may be tried bv
any one, and the result is the same,
whether one woman or twenty be used
for the experiment. Horace Greeley
thought that this fear of COWS on the part
OF women arose from the wearing of
horns by the COW, and that the reas on
women were differently affected from
men was that the latter are always pro-
vided with weapon OF defense in a rear
pocket, while women never carry pis.
tolls. But recent investigations have
shown that cows without horns excite
the same degree of terror in women. 1t
is more probable that in prehistoric
age there was a species Of COW with can
nibalistic tendencies. This species
probably subsisted to a greater extent on
women than men, owing TO the inferior
strength of the former sex, and thus the
dread of cows is hereditary in women,
while there is no such innate feeling of
fear among men. The adoption of the
hypothesis will also explain why it is
that when the two sexes of the human
species happen to walk together on the
streets, particularly after dark. their
arms come in contact on the plea of pro-
tectiCn to the female Formerly, on
account Of the prevalence of cannibalistic
cows, no woman could walk alone with
safety. Prot. Noah Porter shared this
belief when, few years ago, he ex-
pressed the opinion that If, when man
and woman were promenading toqether
the man should take the woman's arm
there would be a near approach to prim-
tive customs. In the light of the sug-
gestion above made of cannibol cows, it
will be seen that the most natural posi-
ton for walking would be that adopted
by young people at our Exposition every
night-the man taking the woman by
the arm, so that on the approach of a
COW he could draw the woman to him
and fly for safety.
This dread OF cows is most disastrous
in its effects. Not only does the sup.
posed inability of women to cone with
cows greatly int ,rfere with their move
ments from place to place in the open
air, but il affects the mind, gives rise to
mysteria and has often been known to
make subjects for the lunatie asylum.
The most serious result of this fear,
however, is its deleterous effect on the
progress of the female suffrage move.
ment. Ii is question worth consider
ing whether the fear of cows has not
prevented the adoption of sixteenth
amendment to the Constitution of the
United States. Whenever a woman be-
gins to claim more rights than are al
lowed her by common consent, or to
beast of as much strength of character as
the opposite sex. her husband has only
to mention her inability to meet COW
N the road, and the matter is dropped.
Since there is no longer any cannibals
among cows, and the species is so en-
tirely extinct that no museum in Europe
claims to have any relics of it, students
OF social science owe il TO the race to de-
wise measures for dlspcl ing the untor,
tunate illusion that cows are dangerous.
Ii is true that attempts have been made
i'm this direction, but they were not dl-
rected by the principles of scientific in
yestlpation. Some wears since there was
organized IN the city of Boston society
for the prevention among women of the
dread of cows. 1t was composed of the
leading women of the city, and was so
successful during the first winter that it
was claimed by the members that they
could meet a whole heard of cows in an
open field without the slightest fear. But
thev had not been tried. No sooner had
summer arrived and these women brave
ly went into the country to spend few
weeks with their rural cousins, than the
hereditary tear began to assert itself at
the sight of bovine, even If heavy
stone wall separated them from the dan
GER. The society never met again.
The Secretary of State of OHIO has
been conducting an investigation that
Yields results which are useful IN this
connection. lie has ascertained that
while in cities from ninety to ninety
seven per cent. Of women are affected
with dread of cows, country women are
affected only to the extent of twenty to
twenty-five per cent. 1t is known that
in the rural districts the milking of COWS
is performed by women, and an invest-
CATION of the statistics for the city of
Cincinnati shows that the five per cent.
of the women there who can look at
cow without fainting are principally
mIlkmaids in the suburbs. This fact be-
ING ascertained, the way is plain for re-
levIng our fair women OF malady
which affects their minds and con Germs
their bodily comfort. Our women must
be taught the accomplishment of milk
ing cows-not that they must all turn
milk-maids, but provision should be
made for their taking lessons IN the art,
under experienced instructors. 1t can.
not be doubted that young women could
be more readily taught than mature
matrons who have cherished, during
life time of considerable length, dan
gerous delusion. As the keeping OF u
COW bv every family would be impracta,,
Bile, it is suggested that an additional
chair for teaching this art be added TO
the Louisville Female High School "a
chair that would be entirely practical
and useful, and for which some OF the
studies now taught might be sacrificed.