Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-10-08
HaWk-Eytems.

II You call him an Inndian?
TO drop an acquaintance it is not
necessary to knock him down.
The fracture in the spinal column
OF the summer has been repaired.
The population of the entire world is
l ,43S .S65, 932. with Ohio to hear frosa /?
A Rochester boy played butcher.
He procured Ratchet and hacked off
his playmate's toe.
The mathematician who wished to
borrow some cash, wrote: II will
Ia 2 ask for A."
Look here, didn't there used to be
some kind OF amusement in this country
known as archery?
=" Head it up" is the late st bit of
gentility, and the man who SAYS il
wishes you to stop talking.
Wesuppose the man who was rocked
in the cradle of the deep, slept in the
bed OF the river when he grew up.
When the philosopher sayp, eve
are created for one another" he doesn't
mean that we are all created for the
book agents.
A man in London has got three
months for cutting of cats tail. He
should have got the cat New York
Commercial.
The New York Graphic doesn't be-
lieve that when Chicago girls want to
elope they make ladders out of their
shoe-strings.
A ail.boat upset on Huron Lake q
few days ago, and the first person
saved was dress-maker. Survival of
the itist, as usual.
The center pole of circus was
seized at Kingston, New York, the
other day, on an attachment for the
salary of bareback rider.
Whittaker's ears and Sarah Bern
hardts trunks are the serious ques.
tons now a9itating the war treasury
departments at Washington.
Mrs. Ycungwoman wants to know
what is the best way to mark table
linen p Leave the baby and black.
berry pie alone at the table for three
minutes.
William Black, the novelist, has
made fortune by his novels. AL.
most enough, it is said, by some OF the
more extravagant people, to start a
daily paper.
More than 1000 pupils in the public
schools of Davenport are studying
German. This is all right, only we
have often noticed that public school
German is distressingly like Connect
cut French.
A young man from South Hill, who
is camping out in the San Juan country,
says the Indians are such incorrigible
thieves that the campers are unable to
keep anything; says they can't even keep
the Sabbath.
YOU'D better mind out" said the
policeman warningly to the young
man jast returned from Leadville.
" That's what 1 am" replied the for.
lorn one, I'm mined clear out" And
shortly afterward the officer run him
in.
A head clerk in the railway mail-ser-
vice estimates tAat ia has travelled SIX
times as far as Grant during the past
eight years, and in all that time and
distance has seen nothing of the world
but twenty-six stations on q western
railroad.
Tanner could make double money
by double matches. He could match
himself to eat less during forty days,
and more during the succeeding ten
days, than any three men in America.
We would back him heavily for the ten
days match.
"What are your politics r. the chap
lain OF the Iowa penitentiary asked an
intelligent. looking convict. "I have
not come out for anybody yet." re-
piled the convict, gazing placidly
through the bars, but if I could get
out l would come out for keeps"
Toodlekins is a very small man in
deed but he said he never minded it at
all. until his three boys grew up to be
tall, strapping young fellows, and his
wife began to cut down their old
clothes and cut them ever to 1T him.
And then he said he did get mad.
A few weeks ago while the eminent
violinist, Wilhelm, was coming down
stairs, careless man tr0d on his and
nearly pulled it off. For day or two
the physicians thought they would
have to amputste it, and thus compel
him to wear u wooden one all the rest
Of his days. But he and it are now
out of danger.
The expense for authorship, illustra.
ting and elestrotyping Appleton's
" American Encyclopedia" the Paper
World informs Us, not adding the fur
Their cost OF manufacture, was 500, 600
per volume. We had thought of writ
ing an encyclopedia ourself next year,
but feel rather discouraged since read
ing tho above item.
Harold St. Clair Athelton sends us
love of q poem beginning, "Sweetly
the roses bloom on my breast.
Harold, thou child of genius, change
your shirt and take bath this minute
Next thing you know you will Just be
covered with plsntains and dog fennel
or some maa will como along and plant
you down in cabbsges.
WAY" some writer asks, "is 6
brilliant man less brilliant with his
wife than with any one else 2" Well
We euDpOse abe aaks him for money