Morning journal and courier., 1880-02-04
,ectioD, but nevertheless it does seem little

l section, but nevertheless it does seem little | cruel.
 Accurately speaking, this is not dead-let
 ter sale. The letters themselves are other
 wise disposed ef-there is no demand in the
 market for mere words and sentences; what l sells here is the solid sediment that was left
 after the rest had evaporated. It is the very
 bric-a-brao of sentiment. There are gold I rings marked "Mamie," and rings with mi
 tials and dates that tell their own story, and book k-marks where affection has expressed 1t
 self in double zephyr. There are embroider.
 ies that the modern Penelope has wrought while Ulysses stayed away, and cardboard | notices with stRock of Ages" and sGod Bless
 our Home" on them. But it is not all senti-
 ment. Some of the attachments set forth are
 only sewing machine attachments" and | there are such practical articles as shoes and l dresses and clockworks and Yale locks and sheep-shears. Everything that could be I wrapped or rolled or crushed into 8 package | has been committed to the mail, from the lot | of sstufed birds," in good condition, to a piece of ssJewish ceremonial cloth"or iump- ing rope, also in good condition. It is a very
 conscientious catalogue, you notice, and when it knows its wares are only sounding brass and tinkling cymbals, it says so with spirit of honesty which is almost aggressive.
 This is the sort of honesty that is the best policy, for the word brass Tn brackets after the spurious ring not only prevents all possi- 0AC SkL5c0eA5AhCtA0A OA ta0 phEt OL LQ6 buyer, but assures us that the stAlaska diamond set'' of fabulous value in the registered mail prop erty is not, like John PauTs diamond, wholly fabulous" For, after all, one must pin one's faith to the catalogue. To go to the sale without one, and trust to one's chances in making lucky haul of this fotsam and jet- sam, IS very poor plan. The average woman will probably do 8 little hurried, ner- vous bidding, and go home with something she didn't want and never meant to buy, and which she could have bought. for half the money down on the avenue. There is 0 better way than this. Get catalogue; get lead pencil; mark what you want. and make up your mind how much you will pay for it; then bide your time. When the arti- Gle comes above the horizon, bid quietly and firmly, with sort of arithmetical progression, and when the price has reached your limit, stop. It is not easy to do, provided the bid ding goes on. It takes as much resolution as it does to stop drinking, but in the one case as in the other it is the only salvation. These directions will answer for auctions in general; otherwise, it would hardly be worth while to give them, for the dead letter sale for this year is over. The books and ribbons and trinkets and scarfs, the violin strings and organ reeds and stereoscopic views, the butter knives and birds eggs, and odd fellows pins and tog frogs and Pilgrims Progress cards are all set adrift again. There were scissors enough to fit out rigade of those editors who believe that the pen is mightier than the sword and the scissors are mightier than eith- CT. There was lantern Diogenes bought it and went out into the streets of Washington on his hopeless task, light brigade of wo- men must be wearing tho earrings and brace let's that they bought up at the wreck. Some body who has seen better days will clothe her sslf in the pathetic responsibility of the ''black worsted shawP' (damaged) of lot 995. A hundred boys must be running 'sparlor toy 5, 4oJI;,, -:xl. ''lot 4, 5O6 ;" some teachers heart will be glad dened when vacation is over by 8 'sdustless blackboard" One would like to know who bought the National Game of Election or Running for Office" And the sslot" that con- tained a pair of blue eye glasses, pair of socks, two money-boxes, compass and two clock faces. Where shall we hear next of the HOO slugs and air pistols" of lot 1,234? There is medicine here for the whole sick world. Lung protectors, porous plasters, Humphreys specifies, pulse-warmers. pills and powders warranted to cure all ills that flesh is heir to. There are packages of cancelled postage stamps; some little girl has lost them out of tie that sold for more than the photographs of all the eminent Catholic divines," with picture of Simon Cameron thrown in among them by mistake.
 The crowd of customers that wait on the dead-1etter sale is as various as are the wares LO De SOlQ. It must nave re- minded the auctloneer as he looked down on it. with it's alternating layers of dark and light, of marble cake. Taking it merely on the sur face it is, after all, rather prosaic. It is not so much what the auctioneer says as what he might have said. For instance, lot 123 456,- 789-an engagement ring, with two hearts of gold soldered into one and two photographs of very good looking young man. The auc- tioneer let it go with few remarks. But if he had told the truth about it-how he sent her the ring and both photographs, the side view and the three-quarter, to see which she liked best and take her choice, secretly hop ing that she would keep them both how he waited for an answer, and as the months went by and none came, made up his mind that she was a heartless firt how she waited for the letter that Rever came, and finally told herself, bitterly, that he never meant any thing, and she was fool to think he did and how finally she married 8 man for whom she had ''great respect;" if the auctioneer had told all this, who can tell to what fabulous figures lot 123-456-7S 7S9 might have been run up? As it was all that affection and 19- caret gold and good looks went for fifty cents. The pity of it all The world is so full of firts and fools that it is an unnecessary tragedy when two honest hearts play at cross purposes
 Marc Antony would make an excellent auc- tioneer. How he would take some crude cub of passion and lick it into shape with that incomparabie tongue Of his How he would get hold of all the clinging tendrils of senti ment that wrapt these little brown packages and make them sell the goods for twice their value. What don't you suppose he could have sold Csesar's mantle for by the yard if he had happened to be an auctioneer instead of 8 funeral orator2 There are some things that it is better not to buy at auction. When Ro- meo, musing on the white wonder of his Ju- Hets hand, buys her a pair of four button kids and finds that they are not the right num- Der, he feels that he has lived in vain. And when he succumbed to the temptation of buy ing puff of (human) hair for five cents, and found it wasn't within six shades of the right color, what would Juliet do but come to the charitable conclusion that the god of her idolatry was color bind? Mercutio took the puff of hair-gallant Mercutio, who knows a dozen Juliets, from blonde to brunette. For Mercutio went to the dead letter sale. as in deed he goes everywhere in Washington, and when the sale was over he went gayly home with two pairs of funeral gloves that he bought for five cents, parlor engine, ban danna like Senator Thurman's that went at twenty cents, and Book of Proverbs" that he bought for Mark Twain's and found were nn1v SnIon,0n's