Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-07-29
Personal and ImpersOnal


Beecher is at Saratoga.
A cuff on the wrist is worth two on
the ear.
The way some farmes put up corn is
shocking
The hotel runners work on the Eu-
rope-in plan.
Mark Twain's last book is selling
poorly.
Many a mans anti-profanity resolu-
ton will go out on a fly.
Speech is silver, silence is golden, and
cheek is brass
Boston has an Inspector of vinegar
whose salary is 81 800 a year.
The Arab who invented alcohol died
900 years ago, but his spirit still lives.
The French Fourth of July is just ten
days behind ours.
Kissing by telephone is about as salts
factory AS scratching your head with a
sunbeam.
The presidents cabinet are roaming
about like schoolboys on a vacation.
The first edition of Rochefort's new
paper III Paris ran up to 1913, 900 copies.
The Oldest person yetreported by the
census enumeratOr is a cOlOred woman
in Georgia, aged 102.
Peter Cooper has recovered from his
prostratiOn by the heat and is out of
doors again.
A wife should be like roast lamb, ten
der and nicely dressed. No sauce re-
CURED.
In the Salt Lake City flats appears
this sign: Ring the top bell for the
Oldest wife"
Miss Lizzie Dollar was recently mar
ried to a southern gentleman. He says
he never wants to change her.
Young love may be very sweet, but
bald-headed love is the real love to tie
to. 1t never dyes.
Both Generals Garfield and Hancock
are to be invited to the opening of the
Cincinnati Exhibition in September.
CDR. Tanner took square meal here
before beginning his fast" is the an
nouncement at a New York restaurant.
Senators Blaine ana Cameron are de-
scribed as having delightful horseback
rides together ut the White Sulphur
Springs.
Senator Bruce writes to Messrs. Ben
jamin H. Brewster and Emery A
Storrs that he has no doubt of Cadet
Whittaker's innocence.
The Glen's Falls Messenger says that
if DR.. Tanner can go without eating for
forty days, he will pIobably start a
country newspaper.
Scientists claim that smoking Injuries
the eyesight. But this is not ture The
boy with a stump in his mouth can see
his father ten squares away.
A man who was condemned to be
hung in Kentucky, got off, and was
married instead. They got the moose
on him, any how
Elizabeth Cady Stanton is the recent
ly elected president of the Woman
Suffrage Association. She is their Bess
man, SO to speak.
Senator Hills smelling works at Den
yer are said to have disposed of nearly
100000 tons of gold and silver ores
last year.
Reason is the glory of human nature,
and one Of the chief eminences where
by we are raised above the beasts in the
lower world.-I Watts.
OF 100 patents issued from the gov
eminent office in Washington, ninety
eight never pay back the amount of the
| fee to the owners.
William NJ. Evarts seems to be COM
posed of will and steel; he never is i'll;
he never shows signs of fatigue; and
the amount of labor daily performed
by him is prodigious.
Let wickedness escape as it may at
the bar, it never fails of doing justice
upon itself; for every guilty person is
his own hangman.
Rev. DR.. Duryea of Boston, is men
toned for the Williams college presi-
dency, to be vacated in another year
by DR.. Chadbourne 1t is also init
mated that Chancellor Crosby of New
York, could be had for the asking. No
immediate action vii be taken.