Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-11-12
The Village Hotel Neranda.

After supper We march into tie Office
in Indian file, arm ourselves with popu
lar tootbpicks, and then all march out
aud take seats on the hotel veranda and
hold convention. II you have never
taken part in one Of these gatherings on
the veranda of village hotel you have
missed good thiy >. The audience
includes every phase of human nature II
philosopher could wish for, including
the liar. l do not mean the blood
ed, malicious liars, but the liar who is
determined to make time pass pleasant
ly to all listeners. l have always APP
p,eciated and defended this class oi
men.
The discussion usually opens between
the village blacksmith and farmer,
and it starts on the weather.
The blacksmith asserts that we have
mad too much rain. The farmer can t
agree. The undertaken, who used to
farm it, then joins in with the remark
that he has seen seasons when We had
more rain, and seasons when we didn't
have as much. This calls out the shoe
maker, who Can remember one year
when it didn't rain from the Goth OF
March to the LIST of October. While he
is trying to remember what year it was,
the cooper tits back his chair and as.
serts that he can distinctly recall year
in which it rained every day frora the
LIST of May to the middle OF November
He CT n remember it all the more dis
tinctly b ,cause his father believed tina,
a second deluge was coming, and spent
two months trying to make water
tight Noah's ark OF the horse.barn. HI
can't tel the exact year without footing
it distance OF six miles to examine
some old documents, but rather thar
have his word disputed he would will
ingly &c to that trouble. No one
doubts him, however, and he sits dowr
to give room to the man whose 3-yeal
old colt has been impaled on fence
stake, and who wants cure for thu
wound. Here follows discussion OF
horses, lasting fifteen minutes, and it ii
about to cross the line and take W
mules when au old man spits over thu
heads of three boys in line ant
says:
II don't know much about bosses
but if had one, and he should drive &
fence-stake clear through him, l believe
l should grease the stake and pick of
the slivers before 1 pulled it out 3!
tell ye, horses can't stand everything
no more'n a man cam"
Whatever new discussion might be
created by this bold assertion is barred
by the appearance OF viilager who
made the trip to California in overland
days. No one knows just how mach
money he brought back. The estimate
runs all the way from two shillings tc
$40, 900, bu. he is discreetly silent as te
the exact amount. There is one thing
certain. however. He killed upwards
of fifty Indians, dozen grizzly bears
and over hundred buffaloes while be
was gone, and that settles the question
of his being entitled to command the
parade on the Fourth of July. A move
is about to be made to draw him out Oh
wild Western scenes, when somebody
suddenly recollects that old Uncle
Jerry is lying at the point of death
inert, and then it is remembered how
he made his wife 60 barefooted in win
ter. Lent money at fourteen per cent
and whipped yoke of steers 10 death,
and the tide slowly turns. There il
one question, however, on which all are
agreed. Uncle Jerry, during his palmy
days, once shopldered barrel OF cider
and carried it forty rods.
Yes, and seed him do it," signs
the old man behind me. Fact of il
was, it was all on my account, and ]
beat him pretty bad. I Was up to Full.
lers's cider-mill AFTER a barrel of the
sweet, when Uncle Jerry came along
with bouncing 3.year-old steer. We
got to bantering, and we finally agreed
that if could lift his steer I was to
have him, and he was to have the cider
If he could shoulder it. l don't keer to
brag around now in my old age, but
think 1 lifted that steer without even
CROWN red in the face. Uncle Jerry
turned as white as a sheet, and
thought he'd faint away, but he stuck
to his word and I took the steer hum
He got heap o'credit all over the
county for liftin' that cider, and never
let on that lifted the steer, and that's
one thing I've kinder laid up agin the
old man."
1t now comes my turn to lie, and /
do my level best on a whaling adven.
ture. Then the next man lies about
the number of crows he saw in Kansas
and so We go until it is sharp 10 o'clock
and the mosquitoes begin to hunge,
for evening lunch. Then we bid eac b
other goodnight and separate to meet
and lie again. never had such good
time in my life. M. Quad, in Detroit
Press.