The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, 1880-07-27
A Handy Man to Have Around.

There was a looked of bowed care about
| the man, as though he had at some time
sat down to mediate under pile-driver.
| and had been suddenly disturbed by some
one starting up the machine. He walked
lnto the Counting-room of morning paper,
leaned his elbows on tho counter, rested his
| chin IN his hands, looked solcmnly at the
clerk, and said:
II understand The care Of horses, younp
man; and when 1t comes to landscape-
gardening, l can tell, you l amt no
III can't see rs that interests me any,"
SAID the clerk, with yawn that endanger-
ed his ear. II don't run livery-stable,
nor | amt Park Commissioner"
"l'm handy man to have around the
house," proceeded the intruder, with a
smlle that seemed painful. i can turn my
hand to most anything, from building a
fence to Keeping the baby quiet"
Nobody disputes you," remarked the
young man, drily.
81 also understand pruning, and a
good many people think Pm surer than
certainty itself when 1t comes to graft
ing
"Well, thus amt nursery, old man!
And we don't pay for the gus we don't
ourn. 80 you might as well close the con-
cert and meander."
Ut might be mentioned that know how
70 milk, and for keeping a churn-dasher
Dusy I'm right on deck every time. Now
you can just charge your mind with that,
| never dodge hard work, no matter what
shape 1t comes at me in. All | ask Is plenty
of it, and meals regular.
The clerk was growing fidrety and red
in the face. lie pointed to the door and
nodded sideways with the air of a man who
fad about made up his mind to stand no
more foolishness. The man reclining on
the counter continued calm and undisturb-
cd.
'ln house cleaning time Pm the handiest
man you ever saw. / Gun beat a CARPET
tlil you wouldn't know il, and at washing
windows and securing up generally won't
take n back sent f.r anybody. IN showing
around heavy furniture and taking down
stoves, Pm right at homc and also know
al about whtewashing, and can GO over a
carpet without spiling Il DROP"
'Wcll, who said you couldn't 7" demand
cd the clerk. "Clear out We don't
want any more of your lingo, and we don't
want none OF your help. We never clean
house here"
''l'm the most willing man you ever saw.
just put down that I'm always ready to
make myself useful, and that u good, steady
job. with plenty to do, is the one want
10 tie TO. IL dou't matter about the wages
we'll never fall out on that head"
'But tell you we don't want you
we've got nothing in the world for you to
do here"
"Wcll-Lord bless you man l--who said
you had l never asked you to give me
no job-did IL"
''Well, that seems to be about the drift
OF your CAB, if | can understand plain
English, . said tho clerk, pctulantly.
Gracious me-no never thought Of
such thing. What Pm trying to come at
is, that want you to write 1t down, and
to print what sort Of gosln' am in your
paper"
"Oh! | scc!' said the clerk. "You
want to advertise for situation 2"
Yes; that's it, exactly. There's lots of
folks, s'posc, worrying and frct,ing be.
cause they can't get hold OF just such a
sort of man us l am. Handy men are
mighty scarce these times, surc's you live!
l s'posc that hud better 10 at the top, in
great big letters; and where you say that
Pm willing, put it as loud as you nave
room for. They'll always find me willing,
whoever finds me-specially at about meal
times. You might throw IN that | have
seven characters, and some OF cnl as much
as four years long. Horses is my prefer.
cncc; but Pm not above drivin' Il pair Of
mules, or shovclin' gravel, ifnothmg better
oilers. Fix it all up SO 8 somcbody'll have
to hire me, and III divide the first month 3
wages with you. Pile it all Oh just as
strong ns you want to, and I'll back it up
when get The job-cvery word OF It'll 1
ought to know how to work, should think
Pm just out OF the work house from Il
twelve months trip. But suppose that
hadn't better 30 IN. If had the chink to
spare Id pay cxtla, and have you slam it
IN Eoctry-blaincd if l wouldn't. But
then, hold! that mi 5ht fetch me up in a
place where they live on style and tooth
picks, and that wouldn't hardly suit me
now, just at first. I'd rather have {. chance
to fattcn up little. Make it plain and
blunt, and thut'll strike the livcrs!"