, 1880-05-20
MARK TWAIN.
lilo Hears n Tc1cpltonic Convcraatlon.
Atlantic MpIliAlp.

44O 11cAF1 NSAtVIAAkAVNs
4ltantte Monthly
i consider that conversation by telephone
when you nre simply sitting BY and not tnkinR
Asly pnrt In that co,tvcrsntton-fs on0 of tho sol-
cinnest ctsrlosltcs Of this mudern life. Yester-
dny WINS writing deep nrtice OF, q sublime
philosophical subject while such n con-
versutlan WIS going OH In tho roon,.
notice that ono cnn always write best
when somebody Is talking through n telephone
close by. We'll, tho thug bcRan III this way. A
nto,nber OF our household calno III md nsketl mo
to have u,ir house pitt Into communication with
bfr. 1lagtey's, downtown. I hAvo observed, In
many cities, that tho sex always shrink from
KNEW why, but they do. 30 touched tho bell,
f:n!S' fma ( 2ss ,ss Ggss!t'ly|oo Gcn!q oaS' S!'0'
n,S;:S, GS%W'i sci s~lsea l. mo Oh Oh to . tho ns*'ey'
,a:a., e a." Al right. Just keep your eur to tho
TSsR hea5a @ k;,eo h'so x. :,
:ss ~? 'ss sss sssssg sg'* 'ss*s sss wss Ssss g
wl.hoHt answering. handed , the tte1cphonges to 70
quecfeat q all the p,eer things IL this world,-a
questions nskod; sa yol don't bcsr tho answer
You bear Invitations gi:ycn: you hear no thnnks
II seeo a%s ss Sy afeat ies H e
u,.1listila6lo oxclamhtons st glad surprise,
e ea sor5swM r. M r d ss sss & nsa sese cent gos gos
ile other eni q the wirs say,s. y,:, Wsli,
fro tn oaa tosaa a
sho,ited,-for you can't ever persuade the sor 10
sPeak Ksnt!y into a. ts!Sph9nf: .,, ;9, s:nn,n,.
sSsssi s%sas did you saya"
sUh, no, don't think It was."
aNai On, no. didn't mean that. I meant, put
It " whLl9 I Is still boilins-or Just DefoFo 1t
awnHrs" aSSSH
II Turned mel i over with back stitch on tho
~. Yss. | like TINT way. too; but I! think
cicnnes Ur botnbAztnr, or something of thAt
mich nut3co." ''~'@
l'Ansu.
to ninety ssve1ti inclusive. thhiink va ought
ull ,r to read 1t often" -
aForhaps 50; gcncrally uso u hair-ptn." =.
aWhat did you shya lAshls1 Children. do be
~" "S1i H. sG!' Donr me, thought you aala 1t
.sTneo .rhenf" :. =. -.
.Why, 1novor hcard OF It."
iiSYou astound mol It seems utterly tmpoaal-
" irho did7" ~ ::
HGooi.ncss sraclousl"
rSss sWf a ;sa9s xnst + this world coming t0' wa' It
Tause. '" -" -,
!, And was hor mother thoro'".
i;y ;WSy m1s nsa!egy ag IL, should ~ havo aiod of h-
II ca!.'t 70 perfectly suEe. because hayen't
'i 4sa ts' Sszy
1'euso.,
md p'anlsstno right"
,,"Oh, ,gum-drops,, Rum-drops' But ! nevo,
courso thoy can't iii they set thoir .tsoth, any
! wny."
1%Sstr SGessi
w;a!tIak;-it ass doesn't Soshof h'"."
yssy seyy ss II i e s5d R1a' 81
thing up 80 long! 1wlsh ahod-"
| IHNBG.
HOh, no, not at nil; l sne to talk,-but In
afratd I'm keeping you FROM your aifalrs-'
| pAuBo.
"Visltorrs'
pAlHe.
...No, we never use butter on thoul."
| Pn1lsc. ..... -
"Yes, that Is very good way; but all ths
cookbook say thcy arc worry unhoalthy whol
thoy aru cut OF sGuson. And he doesn't ukt
thom, uny way,-espeolally canned."
rnuHo. 49,. ......- -
"Oh, think that ia too high tor them; VT
have noyor paid over ~ cents buuch."
Pause, ..
"ifnss you go? We'll, good-by.'
ayes, think 80. Goo,-by."
pAMs0.
"Fnnr o'clock, thon-rll 10 ready. Good-by,'
puuse.
"Thank you ovor SO much. Gooa-by."
I Pause -. ..
"Dh, not nt all!-jnst rs frcah-Whtebf Oh
I'm Klntl 10 heur yon Bny that. lo0d-by."
[IlanEs lip tho telcphona md anys. "oh1
tIUts tlru u purBon's Hrin sol"l
A rInH delivers q single brutal Good-by.'
and that Ia tho ,ud Of 1t. Not 80 With the geutl
sex! sAy 1t In tholr pralse; they ennnot abld
nbruptness. MAIlK TWAIN
COL. SYNGE.