The post. [volume] (Middleburg, Snyder County, Pa.) 1864-1883, 1880-12-23
HUMOROUS.

oNbto t"nNb VI
much damage. He says be prefers
the olJ.iasbioned y,wiih the boot.
jack. II is not quite so quitk, but
he Is never in much of hurry, and
thinks IL will do very we'll for bin.
A wicked Connecticut man being
recently takon III, and believing he
was about TO die, told o neighbor
that he ieIt the need of prepaI alton
for the next world aud would like to
see some proper person 10 regard to
II. Immediately the friend sont for
q Ere insurance agent.
An Oswcgo citizen, whose wife
had presented him with uipl, t., re-
marked as he reckopcd up his runs
nIhe expenses that children wcro a
comfort 10 life, but he preferred to
receive them on the instalneut plan
A political orator wanted the
wings Of bird to ly to every vii.
lsge aud hamlet 10 tho broad lanl
but he WINGED whom a naughty boy
in The crowd sang out, "Yoa'd be
shot for q goose before you aes
mile -
The difference betyoon a man 8
being out Of temper aod ont Of mon
ey is, that when hos ont Of money
he shows tho least Of il, but when
he's out OF temper he shows tho
most OF 10.
"Why should wc celebrate Wash.
ingtonis birthday moro than miuc ?
asked teacher. "Because he never
told lie T. shouted little boy.
Two young men were passing a
farm house whcrc farmer was try
Ing to harness q mu'o." Wont be
draw 2" said rp' oi ,hs hprso men.
"Of course be will" sail Tho farmer
"4e draws the attention Of every
fool tha, passes.
Professor (Which IL the more
delicate Of the senses ?" Sophomore;
"The touch" Professor prove
it, Sophomore when you sit
on tack you cant hear it you
can t see II you can't taste it; you
can't smell it but it's there"
A hardy seaman, who had ESCAPED
oae OF the recent shipwrccks upon
our cost, was asked by good lady
how hc felt when the waves brok g
over him. He replied, "wet, ma am;
very wet"
An Intelligent Jury Tho vcr-
dict VI the coroncr's inquest on the
dos,h Of a child was "rhe child
was suffocated, but there was no evil
dence to show that the sufocaiion
was before or after DEATH"
"You are now one," said tho min
lister to the happy pair he had just
tied together with u knot that tLey
could never undo. (which one T.
asked the bride. "You will have tC
settle that for yourselves" said tue
clergyman.
The starting point--A tack on 4
chair seat.
The undertaken is oager to let Q
man down just as soon as the doctor
gives him up.
When an Arizona man needs a
new psir Of boots he looks around to
see who he shall kill to secure them.
Mr.. Love was married the otbe
day 10 ithaca at the age Of SO. l
was an old Love affair.
A burglar sometimes breaks into
mans chest with false keys, but
woman attempts to break iuto tn
heart by means of false locks.
An inquiring man thrust bis fin
gers into horses mouth to see no,
many teoth 1t had, and the hors
closed its mouth to see how man,
fingers the man had. The curiosit
Of both was fully tatisfcd.
The last piece Of genuine lazyues
reported is that Of man who, bein
a-ked what allied bis eye, answered
.'Nothin' shut it COZ l can see ~
we'll with one. Sometimes | shu
one, sometimes t'oiher."
Lord Brougham once, when b,
was in facetious mood, being aske
to defioe lawyer, said "a lawye