The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-02-05
RAILROAD RELIGION.
A Brakeman's Comparison Of Differ
ent Denominations.


In q letter to the Burlington
Hawkeye, dated at Lebanon, Ind,
Burdette says:
While on the road, with Leba-
non fading away in the distance,
the brakeman comes to me, and,
seated on the arm of the seat, says:
81 went to church yesterday"
"Yesp l said with that interested
infection that asks for more, sand
what church did you attendP'
(Which do you guess?" he asked.
"Some union mission church," L
hazarded.
"Now," he said, 81 don't like to
run on these branch roads very
much. l don't often go to church.
and when l do, / want TO run on
the main line, where your run is
regular and you go on schedule
time, and don't have to wait on con-
nections. / don't like to run on
branch. Good enough, but l don't
like it."
"Episcopal?' 1 guessed.
Limited express" he said; call
palace cars and 50 extra for a seat;
fast time and only stop at big sta,
tions; nice line, but too exhaustive
for brakeman. All train men in
uniform, conductors punch and
lantern silver plated, and no train
buys allowed. Then the passen
gers are allowed to talk back at the
conductor, and it makes them too
free and easy. No, l couldn't stand
the palace cars. Rich road enough.
Don't often hear of a receiver be-
ing appointed for that line. Some
mighty nice people travel on it,too."
"Universalist?" / suggested.
"Brosd gauge" said the brake
man, "does too much compliment
ary business. Everybody travels
on pass. Conductor doesn't get
fare once IN fifty miles. Stops at
all flag stations, and won't run into
nything but union depot. No
smoking cars on the train. Train
orders are vague, though, and the
trainmen don't get along well with
the passengers. No, don't GO to
the Unlversalist, though 1 know
some awfully good men who run on
that road"
"PresbyterianP' / asked.
Marrow gauge, ehp' said the
brakeman; "pretty track, straight
as rule; tunnel right through
mountain rather than go around it;
spirit-level grade; passengers have
to show their tickets before they
get on the train. Mighty strict
road, but the cars are a little mar
row; have to sit one a seat and no
room in the aisle to dance. Then
there's no stop-over tickets al
lowed; got to go straight through
to the station you're ticketed for,
or you can't get on at all. When
the cars full, no extra coaches; /;
cars built at the shops to hold just
so many and nobody else allowed
on. But you don't hear of an acci
dent on the road. It's run right up
to the rules"
maybe you joined the Free
ThinkersT' 1 said.
SCRUB road,' said the brakeman;
"dirt road bed and no ballast; no
time-card and no traln-dispatcher.
All trains run wild and every en-
gineer makes his own time, just as
he pleases. Smoke if you want TO;
kind of go as ou-please- road. Too
many side tracks, and every switch
wide open all the time, with the
switchmsn sound asleep and the
target lamp dead out. Get on as
you please and get off when you
want to, Don't have to show your
tickets. and the conductor isn't ex
pected to do anything but amuse
the passengers. No, sir, was Of
fered pass, but l don't like the
line. don't like to travel on a road
that has no terminus. Do you
know, sir, l asked a division super
intendent where that road run to,
and he said he hoped to die if he
knew. / asked him if the general
superintendent could tell me. and
he said he didn't believe they had a
general superintendent, and if they
had he didn't know any more about
the road than the passengers. /
asked him who he reported to, and
he said, Nobody" asked con
ductor who he got orders from, and
he said he didn't take orders from
any living man or dead ghost. And
when 1 asked the engineer where he
got his orders from he said he'd
like to see anybody give him or
ders; he'd run that train to suit
himself or he'd run it into the
ditch. Now, you see, sir, I'm
railroad man, and i don't care to
run on a road that has no time,
make no connections, run nowhere
and has no superintendent. 1t may
be all right, but I've railroaded too
long to understand it,"
did you try the Methodist"
said.
"Now you're shouting" he said.
with some enthusiasm. 'Nlce
road, Ell? Fast time and plenty of
passengers. Engines carry a pow
er Of steam, and don't you forget it;
steam gauge shows a hundred and
enough all the time. Lively road; (;
when the conductor shouts all
aboard you can hear him to the
next station. Every train lamp
shines like a headlight. Stop over
che cks given on all through tickets;
passenger can drop off the train as
often as he likes, do the station
two or three days, and hop on the
next revival train that comes thun-
dering along. Good, whole souled,
companionable conductors; amt a
road in tie country where the pas
sengers feel more at home. No
passes; every passenger pays full
traffic rates for his ticket Wesley
anhouse air brake on all trains, too /;
pretty safe road, but ] didn't ride
over it Yesterday"
"Maybe you went to the Congre
gational churchY' / said.
popular road" said the brake
man, IAN old road, too; one of the
Oldest IN this country. Good road
bed and comfortable cars. Well
managed road, too; directors don't
interfere with division superinten-