The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1880-12-23
QartEtu.
VARIETY SCRAPS.

To live long-grow tall
To get along well-dig 1t deep.
AgrOwing MISUNDERSTANDING,
Oleomargerlne isn't dairy maid
Song OF the mouse, "Hear mo gHaw, ma
A wo.foot rule-MRking rights and Iefts.'
There is deal Of solid comfort in block Of ice.
What do eating apples eat and how do they do
| 1t?
Chestnuts don't have wings, but are sortof burr.
ed-lke.
Flowing LOcks-those of a canal, when they're
opened
The barber's apprentice is usually Strapping
fellow.
Comets are wearing as long trains this season
as usual.
Secrets may be, trusted to miser. He never
| gives anything away.
A man has a strong will because 1t was his wont
| to have II when child.
1t takes an old woman we'll Versed in herbs to
give sage advice.
1t is not whisky that makes man drunk; It Is
his inability to carry It,
1t is the man with the lottery ticket who looks
out for number won.
Thought at a church fair Faint pocket book
never capdvated fair lady,
Come and seam me, needle little of your aid,
remarked the piece Of cloth to the maiden fair
Actors should be watched on election days
They are professional repeaters,
One man can kill another, but 1t takes twelve
men to make murder Of 1t.
A man iS perfect brick when he shows him
self all the better for being hard pressed.
Partridge Is the name Of prominent Southern
divine. Is he bird Of prey2
A beggar set up business the other day with
small sign reading, Help wanted
Bear are so plentiful In Michigan that the hun
ters have tried to bear the venlson market.
A blind man climbed to the summit OF Mont
Blanc recently. II was all blank to him, though.
As street car conductor took rural passen-
gers money the other day he called 1t an Agricul-
tuIsl fair.
1t requires but short time for lady out shop
ping to learn all the countersgns Of the dry goods
trade.
A California man has farm Of 65 900 acres. 1t
Is fortunste for him that he hasn't them In his
jaw,
The difference between goat and scotchman
Is this The one delights In cold Oat meal and
the other In old coat meal,
Distance lends enchantment to the view. A
starDellng thousand miles away is far more In
teresting than one In the nearest alley.
The Philadelphia Chronicle Herald evidently
docs not like girls who bang their hair for 1t says
they are trying to wear chin whlskers on their
fOreheads,
A gems ofthought" writer says mo star ever
arose and set without influence somewhere" 1t
is the same way with hen.
Physicians now say that the telephone is injuri
Gus 10 the ear. We presume its the strain Of
listening and hearing nothing that does the
harm.
A we'll known actress being charged the other
day with using pearl powder, replied that with
out 1t she would "be beyond the pale Of Civiliza
ton"
The infanta ofspain has begun TO take notice.
and the king has ordered bull fight. The child's
education will begin at once.
Never borrow trouble" said husband to his
wife. "oh, let her borrow II she can" exclaimed
the next door neghbor; "she never returns any
thing, you know"
During his recent visit to Hamilton the Mar
quls Of Lorne was treated to a hfteen.min ad'
| dress In ancient Gaelic. He is now prepared for
q visit from his mOther'in'law.
The New Orleans PlcaYune says that when
young man returns from a summer tour without
| bis trunk, you may know he has had trouble win
some of the raseally hotel keepers on the road
Alta London bazaar recently lady handed
around her baby to be kissed at sixpenoe each
II 1t were girl baby we would have paid the
price and taken due bill due in sixteen years.
A Brooklyn man sued dentist for $500 dana
ges on account OF pulling the wrong tooth and
recovered $50. The dentist as he handed over
the money, said II came like pulling teeth"
When Yankee is struck by thunderbolt and
knocked endwa,s clear across a ten acre lot, the
only regret he feels, upon recovering conscious
ness, is the dlshearenlng fact that he can't cap
! ture the bolt and exhibit 1t for money.