davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Taking Him ut His Word.

The inhabitants of the north of Eng
land are a matter of-fact people. The
following incident illustrates their
slrewdness and ready resource. In q
village in one of the Dales lived a kind
hearted but somewhat hot headed
woman who entertained the minister
when he came to preach there. On the
occasion of the first visit of one of this
fraternity, she deemed it necessary to
ascertain his preference for tea or coffee
for breakfast; so as she was going on
with the preparation of the meal, she
went to the stdirfoot and called out the
name of her guest. But no answer was
vouchsafed her call. Wonderingly, she
waited awhile, and then, repeating her
call, she was answered by, "What do
you wantp" in anything but a gentle
tone of voice.
81 want to know whether you'll have
tea or coffee to your breakfast"
I'm have either, or both," was the
odd and stinging reply.
you've got out on the wrong side
O. the bed ia MORN" said the irritated
dame to herself; but I'll fit up yer
order, my man." so saying, she went to
the cupboard, took thence another tea
pot, and putting therein equal quanti-
ties of tea and coffee, she made strong
decoction thereof for the preacher
Presently, he telt that he had a strangely.
favored beverage before him; so, paus
ing, he asked: "Wbat's this, misss p
Its both, sir; and you shall either
| sup it or gang without"
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
COnundrums.

When is a wall like fishp When it
is scaled.
How does a stove feel when full of
coalsP Grateful.
Which of the reptiles is a mathema-
ticianp The adder.
When is boat like heap of snowP
When it is adrift.
When is q doctor most annoyedP
When he is out of patients.
When is a literary work like smoker ?
When it comes in volumes.
Why is the letter u like the sunP Be-
cause it is in the center of light.
What is that which shows others
what it cannot see itsellP A mirror.
Why is the letter N like faithless
loverP Because it is in constant.
How does a cow become a landed
estateP By turning her into the field.
Why is whispering breach of good
mannersP Because it is not allowed.
What is an old lady in the middle OF
the river likeP Like to be drowned.
What word may be pronounced
quicker by adding a syllable to itf
Quick.
Why is a miser like a man with q
short memoryP Because he is always
| forgetting.
How does a sailor know there is q
man in the moonP Because he has beer
to sea (see).
Why is a fool in high station like &
man in balloonp Because every body
appears little to him, and he appears
| lit lie to everybody.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Words of Wisdom.

No principle is more noble, as there is
none more holy, than that Of a true obe-
dience.
The faith which looks forward is far
richer than the experience that looks
backward.
1t is good in fever, and much better
in anger. to have the tongue kept clean
and smooth.
There are few occasions when cere-
nony may not be easily dispensed with,
kindness never.
A good constitution is like money
box-its full value is never known until
it has been broken.
The raven is like the slanderer, seek
ing carrion to feed upon, and delighted
when feast is found.
Let every one sweep the drift from his
own door and not busy himself about
the frost on his neighbours tiles.
Intellectual pride is less outraged by
the obscurities of faith than by tie au-
lhority with which it is clothed.
II is safer to af1ront some people than
to oblige them, fol the better n man de-
serves the worse they will speak of him.
The man or woman whom excessive
caution holds back from striking the an .
vii with earnest endeavor, is poor aud
cowardly of purpose.
A man need only correct himself with
the same rigor that he reprehends Others,
and excuse others with the same in
dulgence that he shows to himself.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
How the Pyramids Were Built.

The pyramids are the tombs of the
early kings. Perfectly adjusted to the
cardinal points of the horizon, they
differ in breadth and height, as is shown
by the measurements of the three Oldest,
as follows: l. The Pyramid of Khufa-
height, 45O.75 feet; breadth, TAG feet. 2.
Pyramid OF Khafra-height, 447.5 feet ;
breadth. 690.75 feet. 3. Pyramid OF
Menkara-height 2O3 feet; breadth,
352.76 feet. The construction of these
enormous masses has long been an in
soluble mystery, but later generations
have succeeded in solving the problem.
throne, he gave orders to nobleman,
the master of all the buildings of his
land, to plan the tomb and cut the stone.
The kernel OF the future editice was
raised on the limestone soil of the des-
ert, in the form of a small pyramid
built in steps, of which the well-con
structed and finished interior formed
the kings eternal dwelling, with his
stone sarcophagus lying on the rocky
floor.
A second covering was added, stone
by stone, on the outside of the kerrel; a
third to this second, and to this even q
fourth; and the mass of the giant build
ing grew greater the longer the king en-
joyed existence. And then, at last, when
1t became almost impossible to extend
The area of the pyramid further, cas-.
ing of hard stone, polished like glass,
and fitted accurately into the ang les oi
the steps, covered the vast mass of the
sepulchre, presenting gigantic triangle
on each of its four faces.
More than seventy such pyramids
once rose on the margin of the desert
each telling of king OF whom it was
at once the tomb and monument. Hao
not the greater number of these sepul
chres of the Pharaohs been destroyed
almost to the foundation, and had the
names of the builders of these which
still stand been accurately preserved, il
would have been easy for the inquirer
to prove and make clear by calculation
what was originally and of necessity
the proportion between the masses o
the pyramids and the years of the reign!
of their respective builders.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23

A New Peril for Smokers.

The poisonous effects of nicotine,
which the anti-tobacco party has based
most of its arguments against the weed
on, have found powerful ally. A
well-known journalist of New York,
one of the most distinguished war cor
respondents of the country, was re-
Gently much alarmed to learn that a lin
sore, from which he had been suffering
for some time, was diagnosed by his
physicians as q symptom of scrofu-
lous disorder of serious character. A
thorough examination failed, however,
to reveal the presence of any other evil
dence of the disease, and the doctor was,
for the time, at loss to discover its
origin.
The patient is an inyeterate cigar
smoker, and this fact led his physician
to make some inquiries in regard to the
quality of the cigars that he smoked,
the manner and place of their manu-
facturc and other particulars. His in
vestigations resulted in his forming the
opinion, in which his patient is dis
posed to concur, that the mysterious
sore and the disease, of which it is the
undoubted evidenc were due to the
smoking of cigars which had been made
by some person with scrofulous taint,
who had communicated through the
cigars TO the smoker.
This theory, alarming as it is, is fully
borne out by the testimony of the ply
sicians of Bellevue and other eminent
authorities, who are reported by the
New York correspondent of a Western
paper to have recently declared that,
within their own experience, cases OF
contagious disease have frequently been
traced to the same cause. These medical
gentlemen assert that disease is so COM
mon among the tenement-house cigar
makers, VINO use their mouths as well as
their hands in their labor; that it is not
safe for any to smoke cigars without the
use OF a tube or holder, so as to avoid
contact with the possibly infected leaf
In the present case the physician is OF
opinion that the disorder thus strangely
incurred has gone already too far even
to be completely eradicated from the
system, and hence another illustration ol
the danger of indiscriminate cigar-mak
ing and of unprotected cigar-smoking.-
Nea0 York Nel0S.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

A rose tree of Hanover is said to be
more than thousand years old.
The costs were $500 in q suit over a
hog to two farmers of Moniteau county,
Mo.
Dogs are used as beasts of burden in
Northern France, Belgium and Ger
many.
A large mum Der o Jewish negroes have
been found in Africa, near the boundary
of Barbary.
Banged or frizzsd hair is forbidden
among the womsn OF Bishop Elders
congregation of Cincinnati.
From a single potato vine planted by
David Brown, of Pricetown, Pa, the
product was 537 fine potatoes.
In Hungarian shanty in Fayette
county, Pa, birtn, a death and mar
riage occurred all Mt the same time.
Sixty per cent. of the cases Of insanity
occurring in France are, according to a
physician of that country, caused by the
use of absinthe.
There are 5000 telegraph offices in
France. Last year the number of dis
patches sent averaged thirty for every
100 Inhabitants.
There are in Philadelphia 434
churches; in New York city, 354, and in
Brooklyn, $40. In no other American
city are there more than 200.
One oleomargarine company of New
York city has contracted with New
England tub manufacturer for $4,000
tubs to be delivered within year.
The profits of the Saratoga hotels
have been greater this year than at any
time since the war. The United States,
where the millionaires go, is said to have
cleared S75,On0.
For forty-eight days Lowhill (Pa.)
hen was in grain stack, where she mad
been accidentally covered up. When
released she toppled over in fit, but
soon recovered.
After travelling one hundred miles
thI ough the woods, and crossing several
streams, a cat that had made the Jour-
ney in a box escaped and found its way
home in British Columbia.
L. o. Kimsey, OF Dallas. Texas, while
walking through some brush was at
tackled by an eagle. He killed it with
an AK he had with him. 1t measured
six and half feet from tip to tip of its
wings.
A butterfly, when apprehonding dam
ger, never lights on u green tree or
shrub, but flies into a clump of dead
leaves, where it so adjusts its wings on
a twig rs to look ex tctly like a shriyeled
leaf, and deies discovery by its foe.
A child at Connersville, Ind, three
years old, that has had a supposed case
of nastl cltarrh for year, developed
locust pol about an inch I'd a quarter
long in its nose the other dav, and is now
cured. Some child had stuck it in for
fun.
While making call at a neighbours,
a young lady of Madison, Ohio, said to
ca. that came into the room: Why,
pussy, haven't seen your babies yet
are they prettyP' The cat Immediately
went out, and returned with kitten in
her mouth, which she laid AZ the feet ol
her questioner.
While j )hn Eiler, of Aid IN, Iowa,
was riding horseback he saw descend
ing from the sky ball of fire apparently
about the size of flour barrel. He
was p IRA yzed with fright, and saw the
globe strike the head OF the animal he
rode, when he became unconscious
Upon coming to hi! senses he f)unt
that the horse was dead, the head of th'
amin Il being SCARED as if by red -ho
| iron.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
A CuriOns Combat.

A traveller in South Africa witnessed
not long since singular combat. He
was musing one morning, with his eyes
on the ground, when he noticed cater
pillar crawling along at rapid pace.
Pursuing him was host of small black
ants.
Being quicker in their movements,
TIE ants would catch up with the cater
pillar, and one would mount his back
and bite him. Pausing, the caterpillar
would turn his head, and bite and kill
his tormentor. After slaughtering a
dozen or more of his prosecutors, the
caterpillar showed signs of fatigue.
The ants made combined attack.
Betaking himself to stalk of grass, the
caterpillar climbed up tail first, followed
by the ants. AS one approached. he
seized it in his jaws and threw it off the
stalk.
Tue ants, seeing that the caterpillar
had too strong a position for them tc
overcome, resorted to strategy. They
began saving through the grass-stalk
In a few minutes the stalk fell, and hun.
dreds of ants pounced upon the faller
caterpillar. He was killed at once, anC
the victors marched off in triumph, leav
ing the foes body on the field,
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Cellars.

Experiments prove that the air in a
cellar rises and circulates throuyh the
house, and that, too, not only by means
of the acknowledgement doors, but even
when every door is kept shut and the
keyholes are stopped. 1t is simply i'm
possible to keep dwelling free from
contaminated cellar air.
Yet how many sources of contamina-
ton are found in cellars-rotting wood,
the entire floor often being pervaded by
decay; vegetables stored there for the
round musty barrels of vinegar or cider /;
leaky gas fixtures; badly constructed
furnaces, from which escape various
noxious gases; water closets, foul at the
best, and often fouler through defects /;
defective sink and sewer drains, not un-
frequently saturating the soil beneath
the floor with filth.
Many cellars are dug directly into
made land, and the gases of the decayed
matter with which the soil is more or
less filled pour directly into them, just
as the water of the soil finds its way into
the well.
This latter point is more important
than m st think, for the air circulates
freely through the soil. even when
frozen. Persons have been rep peatedly
poisoned and killed by gas which had
travelled for distance-in one case
twenty feet-through the soil, and had
penetrated into the cellar, and thence
into the rooms above.
As the ground water rises or falls, the
air follows it. Barometric Influences
changes in the pressure of the atmos-
phere-force it down further or lift it
out of the earth. Changes of tempera-
ture similarly affect it, and particularly
does the warmth of a house establish an
upward current from the cellar to the
rooms above, and from the soil into the
cellar. Hence
l. Keep everything out of the cellar
Likely to vitiate its air.
2. Get the best constructed furnaces.
3. Have the gas meter and fixtures
frequently examined.
4. Let the drains be of the best mate
rial and construction, and be ever in
sight-suspende from the ceiling in
stead of being buried under the floor.
S. Have the floor and sides made as
impervious as possible.
6. Let the cellar be constantly and
thoroughly ventilated with sun purified
air.
7. If vitiating sources must remain,
use the best disinfectants-not mere
deodorizers.-Y Youths Companion.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Feeding on Ones Self.

When the human body suffers from
lack of food, it. practically feeds upon
itself and absorb3 its own substance as
food. Every one knows that certain
animals normally exhibit this process
of feeding upon themselves under certain
conditions. The humps OF tt:e camel or
those of the InSian cattle visibly de.
crease and many disappear together, if
the animals are starved. A superhuous
store of fat, in other words. is made use
of under the exigency of hanger. So it
is also with the be RS and other animals
which hibernate or sleep through the
winters cold. The bear, which in
autumn retires to winter quarters in
| well-favored condition. comes forth in
spring lean and meager. His fats have
been absorbed in his nutrition, and the
succeeding summer will lay the founda-
tioa of new stores of stable food to be
utilized during the next winter. With
man, we repeat, the phenomena of
starvation are essentially similar. In
the starving man the fats OF the body
are the first substances 10 disappear.
The fats lose weight to the extent OF
ninety three per cent. ; next in order the
blood suffers; then the internal organs,
such rs liver and spleen, suffer; the
muscles, bones, and nervous system be.
ing the last to lose weight. In due time,
also, the heat of the body decreases to
such an extent that ultimately death in a
case of starvation is really case of
death from loss of heat. When the
temperature falls to about thirty degrees
Fahrenheit, death ensues. This decrease
arises from want OF bodily fuel or food /;
but the immediate cause of the fatal
ending of such a case is decrease of tenn
PERI ture. 1t Is likewise curious fact
that the application of external warmth
! is even more effectual in reviving ami
! mails dying of starvation than a supply
! OF food. Ia exhausting diseases in man,
in which the phenomena are strikingly
, like, and, indeed, Thoroughly analogous
TO those OF starvation, the same facts an
observed, chambers Journal.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
VOL. X.
In the Days Of My -6randmamma
In the days Of my great-grandmamma,
I've been told,

In the days Of my great-grandmamma,
I've been told,
There were persons of fashion and taste,
Who, in dresses as stout as chain-armor Of old,
The parties OF Ranelagh graced.
How high were their heads, and how high
were their heels,
And how high were their motives and ways 7
They moved in propriety's round like the
wheels
Ola warranted watch, in the days
Ofmy great-grandmamma.
Fashion then was SO dull you could scarcely
discern
The minute ebb and flow OF her tides;
And a dowagers dress, though untrimmed,
served in turn
Three or four generations OF brides.
Like the family Jewels, the family gown
Was reserv'd for their gala displays,
And ruffied old lady look'd placidly down
Upon ruffied young girls, in the days
OF my great-glandmamma.
Oh The men who Tor these female paragons
sigh'd
We're unlike those who poster us now;
They approached with a smile and a sink and
a slide,
Aud minuet step a nd a bow.
The, wero laced and embroidered and pow
dered and curl'd,
Like the men that we see in the plays;
And tits certain there's nothing so grand in
the world
Or so sweet as there was in the days
OF my great-grandmamma.
Thomas Haynes Boyiy.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Tale Of a Refractory Goat.

Maybe there is never any excitement
at the West End, but you can't make
the people who saw a colorcd gentle
man try to lead goat through that dis
trict the other day believe it. At first
the goat didn't want to 60, and the
colored gentleman, who was about ten
feet ahead of the animal, pulled vigor-
ously on the rope. He had just got his
whole strength on it when the goat
changed his mind and started forward
so suddenly that the colored gentleman
didn't have time to recover his balance
and went down, and rs the goat ran
past him and kept running he was
dragged along, clawing wildly, until his
head collided with a lamp-post. and
he brought the procession to halt. On
regaining his feet the colored gentleman
was very angry and ran for the goat to
kick him, and the goat took to flight,
and they flew at a rapid pace down the
street. About five rods all cad the goat
observed a citizen bending over to look
down an open coal hole, and on reach
ing him the goat contrived to hit him
just under the hip pocket, and the citi-
zen disappeared down the coal-hole
like shot just rs the colored gentleman
stumbled over the goat, which had
come to aha!t, A number of people had
gdlHcTtu dDOuC, anu Inon Lne goat LOOK
q notion 10 turn and go the other way,
Snd he got the rope so entangled in peo-
pies feet that seven were upset and
much blasphemy resulted. The man
down the coal-hole then att empted to
climb out. and got his head and shoul-
ders above ground when the goat made
another rush at him and he had to
dodge down again. And then the goat
assaulted his owner, who went up q
lamp-post; and then the goat went
for another man, and as the owner
had tied the rope to his belt he
was yankad off that lamp-post quicker
than powder. Fortunately for him
his belt broke and he sprang to his feet
and took off towar Harvard college
yelling fire, and the goat suddenly
jumped into an open window, scared {
woman into a fainting fit and upset {
table on which stood a dish of no
water. He got most of IT, water upoI
himself, and made more ftantic by pair
jumped out of the window again, butte'
bulldog and stove in three of tn
canine's ribs, and then disappeared dow
the street, amid cloud OF dust Just as
policeman came around to shoot him
And the man down the coal-hole cam
up with awful expressions ON his fac
and in his language and offered S75 [
any one who would tell him whom I
: sue for damages. Post.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Queen Yictoria,s Escana.

Queon Victoria narrowly escaped an
accident during her recent journey to
Balmoral. At station called Solihull,
not far from Birmin CHAM, a signalman
was oyertaken by violent hemorrhage,
which SO weakened him as to incapaci-
tate him from attending to his duties.
The poor fellow, however, had presence
of MUD enough to place his lamp on the
line with the danger color facing the
engine, the driver of which was thus
warned TO reduce the speed of the train
The signalman was afterward founC
living exhausted near his post.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Smiling and Mourning.

Some go smiling through the gray time,
Under naked, songio.s bowers;
Some 20 mourning all the May time,
Mid the laughing leaves and flowers.
Why is this,
Rosy Bliss
Comes to kiss winter gray?
Why, ah, why
Doth sorrow sigh
On the lap OF lovely Mayf
Happy love, with song and smiling,
Through the withered woodland goes;
Hap'ess love hath no bcguiling
From the redbreast or the rose.
This is why
Woods may sigh,
Flowers die and hearts be gay;
This, alas
The pteous pass
That leaves us mourning all the My.
ALFRED Percipai Graves.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
FOR THE FAIR SEX.
A Lost wires Return.

The wife of Antoine Weber, of Pitts
burg. Pa, eight years ago mysteriously
disappeared. Every effort to find her
failed, and she was given up for dead.
Since that time the husband has lived
alone. On a recent Monday the deputy
mayor of Pittsburg was recognized by a
woman at the poor farm, who soon con-
vinced him that she was the missing
wife of Weber, and begged to be taken
to her home and husban The records
show that she was picked up in the
streets about eight years ago. She
could not then remember her name nor
where she lived. Her mind for a long
time was under cloud, but she is ow
entirely sane, has been taken home and
lives happily with her husband.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23

A new use for glass is found in the
manufacture of window shutters. These
are now made of opal glass, decorated,
and have the important advantages of
being beautiful, and easy TO keep clean.
-Anserica,, Macbinist.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23

A two-story well is one of the curiosi.
ties OF Erin, N. Y. The two parts are
one above the other aud separated by
ten or twelve feet OF hard-pan, Water
can be pumped from either well. and
the lower one pumped dry while the
upper one retains an inexhaustible sup
ply.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23

In Western language, Boston wood
cock signifies pork and beans.
The Elk County advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Pa.) 1868-1883, 1880-09-23
Rather High.

A French Journal contains the follow
ing statement of the height of the differ
ent highest spires and monuments on
the globe.
The silver state. [volume] (Unionville, Nev.) 1870-1903, 1880-07-14
TRRsrAssING on IME RESERVATION

Suits have been brought in the Unit
ed States Circuit Court of Oregon
against a number of stock owners ia
Grant county, who are charged with
the grave oiiense OF permitting their
cattle and horses to Craze on the sa-
cred soil of the Malheur Reservation.
The suits are brought on information
lodged against the cattle men by Rine
hart, the Christian Agent at the Reser-
walton. The defendants are Shepherd,
Walker, French, Steinger, Miller and
Todhunter & Devine, of Harvey Val
ley. Many of them lost considerable
property at the time Of the Bannock
war by Indian depredations, and the