Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-03-17
NEWSPAPER WAITS.

Othello was the original of ''What is
home without its smother? ''-[New Or
leans Picayune.
"Sweet sixteen " used to be the favorite
game. 1t has been superseded by the pop
ular game of fifteen. ALBANY Journal.
"Jack, what relation to you is that old
gentleman l saw you with this morning p
"Oh, not much he's married to my
grandparents only daughter"
The report that sold Salt" can trace
his ancestry back to Lots wife needs con-
firmation so badly that for the present we
suppress it.-[ Albany Journal.
An intelligent Princetonian, being adj
vised to read Sponsors works in connection
with his philosophical studies, at once OBJ
tanned from the library Sponsors " Faerie
Queene.
A Western firm named Nice & Good are
said to have bookkeeper named Sim
MONS According to an exchange he
signs his receipts thus: Mice & Good,
per Simmons.
Richard Wagner will never consent to
have his music of the future sung by a
tenor of the past. The murder OF
"Lohengrin causes no smile.--[New Or
leans Picayune.
Mathematics Professor Now, what
kind of a demonstration do you call that?"
Fresh. II Forgetting his Latin and becom-
ing confused) IAN absurd demonstration,
sir. Il Acta Columbiana.
1t is suggested that the Gar is himself
the man who gets mp these always unsuc-
cessful) attempts on his life. Can it be
that the old man is pestered with life in
surance agents whom he is trying to stave
70 Boston Post.
Sweets to the sweep-Goody: "And
whin wull yer be gettin' up, sor? Sure, 1
want to come up and swape." Undergrad /:
"0h! 90 way, Goody. When you come
up and sweep, I'll get up and dust. -
Harvard Lamroo
Visitor" Lor', ow did it 'appen :"
Mrs 0'Blarney, the nurse, whose patient
has had q relapse Will, now, she wor
a-gittin' on foinely, she wor, whin all av a
suddint she TUX violent cold No one
cudn't tell 'ow it 'appened, but it is my
belafe they gev her Cruel out av a dhamp
BASIN
Kepler, the astronomer, was one day
called by his wife from his study of the
natural forces to dinner, and a salad was
laid on the table. Dost you think, he
said to his spouse, that if leaves of let
tuce and drops of oil and vinegar and frag-
ments of hard boiled eggs had been in cir
culation from eternity in chaos, chance
could have assembled them to-day to form
salad?" mot as good a one as this, "
said his wife, 'nor as well seasoned"
Accommodating Lady visitor" Can
you tell me whether there is cir
culatlng library in the town ?" Ma
tive First turning on the left, miss !;
our new stores, miss; be employed
theer; circulatin' library, pork butchers,
hironmongers, chemists, lokil mattremonial
hagency and hundertakers we I'D be most
'appy ter git yer husband, or bury yer,
miss, most 'appy." Exit L. v, rapidly.)
Fun.
1t is pointed out that in these bad times
a hint how to provide most acceptable
and inexpensive present for the children
may not be unwelcome. 1t was the prac-
tice of an eminent army surgeon to lock up
his olive branch week before the anni-
versary of his birthday. On that day he
solemuly opened his dungeon and released
him, saying 1.-THE most valuable boon
which man can enjoy is liberty. Take it,
my son, as welcome present from your
parents y