Millheim Journal. [volume] (Millheim, Pa.) 1876-1984, 1880-06-17
Major Boots.

Once upon time a certain gentleman,
who lived splendidly and did not pay his
debts, owed his shoemaker large bill, and
the shoemaker having been told to call
| again many times, and having written notes
without end asking for settlement, re-
solved to disgrace his customer by expos
ing him to his friends the very next time
he gave one of those large dinner parties
which so excited the creditors ire.
Accordingly, having seen the wagons of
the caterer stop before the door, and watched
the walters enter one by cne, Mr.. Shoe
maker, attired himself in his Sunday suit,
and with his little bill elegantly written
out, awaited the appearance of the car
riages and when at least fifty had arrived,
sci down their burdens and departed, stalked
up the doorsteps like vengeful ghost, and
ringing the bell furiously, found it opened
for him with startling celerity, and stood
face to face with tall, black waiter, white
gloved and stately.
"Where's Mr.. Cheatem :" whispered the
shoemaker.
''Gentlemen's dressing room, second floor
back, responded the waiter.
Some one else had arrived, and was
trcading on his heels. a vision of splen-
dor, in the most wonderful, soft, white
wraps foated past him.
"Ladies, front room, second floor, gen.
tlemen, back, repeated the waiter.
Dir Shoemaker was hustled forward, hat
in hand, and saw his delinquent debtor in
all the elegance of dress-coat button hole
flower, and white cravat, bowling TO, shak-
ing hands with and smiling upon aristo-
cratic personages innumerable.
The sight famed anew the flame of the
tradesman's Just wrath. He marched for
ward. planted himself directly before the
elegant Mr.. Cheatem, and stared him in
the face.
But Cheatem did not wilt. He knew his
guest well enough and he understood his
purpose but what he did say, was:
"Beg pardon; for the moment I've for
gotten your name. "
"Have you? Then perhaps you'll re-
member me when l tell you that made
your boots.
Now, II you'll trouble yourself to repeat
these last four words rapidly, you will find
that you don't say, as you believe you do :
Il made youu boots, but, L majur boots. y
Tie lucky Cheatem detected this fact on
the instant.
'.Major Bootsl" he cried, demonstra-
lively shaking hands. Dear, dear; how
could Iforget you for moment Delighted
to see you-delighted. Mrs. Chifins, let
me introduce you to my old friend, Major
Boots"
so glad to know you," responded the
old lady thus introduced '.I'm sure I've
heard Cousin Cheatem speak of you a
thousand times. Sit down, do, and tell
me who all these people are. I'm quite a
stranger I've isolated myself in Europe so
long Sit down, Major Boots; h9re is a
Chair"
| The newly -christened shoemaker hesita-
ted moment, but it was not possible for
him to cry out ''Pm not Major Boots; I'm
Clamp, the shoemaker, come for my bill. y
He found he had not the courage. He
crammed his hat under the velvet chair to
which he was motioned, and subsidized into
angry silence while the old lady went on :
'tOh Major, always feel so privileged
when l have the opportunity to talk to 8
military man. / adore courage. And
were you ever woundedf Do tell me all
about 1t
The bootmaker, finding it necessary tc
reply, said ''that he never had beer
wounded"
And the old lady went on:
"NeUer! How charming! Bore charmee
life, and all that sort of thing. Do tell m'
all about it.
The shoemaker replied 'that there wa
nothing to tell.
On which that most gushing of old ladie
cried:
l s'Now, Major, won't befieve that. IT.
like the modesty of you celebrated militar,
men. | know you stormed redoubts ant
, led forlorn hopes, and were the only on
left of your regiment, and all that. In
sure | read all about it at the time. Oh
here is Colonel Hobbs, celebrated Englisl
officer, did something awfully brave in In
dia. Colonel let ME made you acquainted
with Major Boots, one of our bravest mill
tarv men. He's been telling me all abou
the wonderful Things he did in the army.
mean he wouldn't tell me about them
lust like all you great men--won't troubl
himself to fight his battles over for an oil
woman"
"Aw.-awfully charmed, Pm sure, " re
sponded the gallant colonel. lawfully
aw. Must introduce you TO my brother
Captain Hobbs in the same weglmenU wit
y myself"
The shoemaker had arisen and was looA
ing down on his business suit.
81 didn't intend to--that is, didn't ez
meet to be at such swell affair as this, u
stammered, ''or IL should have word m
drcss-suit." "
"Oh, my dear fellow, we always expet
you Amewioan officers to be wouGh an