The Morristown gazette. [volume] (Morristown, Tenn.) 1867-1920, 1880-11-10
WAVES AND WHIns.

/ =--
GETTING up q revival = holding am
\ mOnia to the nose of a person in faint
| ing fit
In purchasing a house, the buyer
should be sure the seller is not too deep
for him.
Talk about bull in china shop;
why, we've seen a eowhide in a school
rooml III
A WESTERN woman says her baby viii
enjoy three hundred and sixty-fve ho1ler
days this year.
AMAN In Missouri planted some beans
late one pleasant afternoon, and the next
morning they were uP-thanks to his
| hens. asss-az-.saraa-ss-...az-.-
.:Howgreedy you. are r said one little
girl to another, who had taken the best
sfaRt. sfRRlS N the di'h; was gong 70 take
can, yes, said a cabinet-maker to a
crockery dealer, to whom he was intro
dqGed, ''ah, yes; you sell tea-sets and l
sell settees. --. 1850
"IoEBERes are moved by winds and
currents, D explains a New England daily
We always thought they were drawn
around by oxen.
IT is not half as much fun to run a
lawn-mower the last ten minutes as it Is
when you first take hold of the machine.
Familiarity breeds contempt, as
WE believe Adam fell so he could get
his name IN the papers, Whitehall
Times. Adam pretty storyl You can't
make us believe it.
CHICAGO was burned down because it
was so wicked, but when q Brooklyn
Church is burned down, it is different
Its goodness is the death of it.
MANUFACTURER of wooden toOth-picks
advertises: ''Our tooth picks have been
in use over thirty years" Jehoshaphat!
They must be about ready for throwing
away. -
ASooToHMAN asked an Irishman, ''Why
were half farthings coined in England?"
Pats answer was, ''Io give Scotchmen
an opportunity of subscribing to chari-
table Institutions. -
ACCORDING to a London society journal,
" French statesman not long ago said
of Lord Harrington, "What [ princi-
pally like about Lord Harrington, is his
'you-be-damnedness.'
A KNGsBRDaE lady tried to pat live
bee on the head last Tuesday. We will
not tell how she ran when the whole
hive ran after her, because everybody
knows how a woman stung runs.
How do you like me now2" asked a
belle of her spouse, as she sailed into the
room with herlong train sweeping behind
her. "Well, said he, ''to tell the truth
it is impossible for me to Like you any
longer"
SOCIAL amenities. Papa Ito Mabel,
who has been to Juvenile party)-"D Did
any one pay any attentions, Nab" Ma
bel-"I don't know" Papa-"I mean,
did any one talk to you, or dance with
you?" Mabel" Well, there was lit
tie boy who made faces at me"
SIx-YEAR-oLD-'M what's mellow"
Mother-"Ripe. Six-year-old-''Then
is pa ripe?" Mother-''Why do you
ask?" Six-year-old- -"Cause the cook
said to the chambermaid that pa came
home rather mellow last night.
I KNOW he's an old bachelor hOrrid, grumpy
A nasty spiteful, cross-grained, ugly fright
I wish, John, that such callers to your wife you
You know Know as Wen as I do it's not right.
Why do think him singleF WhyH Oh, John, PH
Did You not h hear "a you stupid, y0o' He called
sFHow do you pronounce s-t-i-n-g-y?"
Professor Stearns asked the young gem
tleman nearest the foot of the class And
the smart bad boy stood up and said it
depended a great deal WhetAer the word
applied to q man or a bee. Go to the
head, young fellow.
A1TrTLE fellow, turning over the leaves
of a scrap book, came across the we'll
known picture of some chickens just out
of their shell. He examined the picture
carefully, and then with a grave, saga
cious look, slowly remarked: '"They
came out COZ they were afraid of being
boiled" al s-