davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07
MISCELLANY.
EIGHT THo usAND 4 YEAR.

Despotic papa declared that Brown should
not marry his charming Emily-heiress to
eight thousand year-unless he was wealthy.
aWhat is your fortune, sirp" he asked,
magisterially.
"Well, don't exactly know" said Brown,
who was as poor as a church mouse "but let
your daughter become my wife, and lpromise
that she shall have endless gold
endless gold is rather an exaggeration'
Ell q,' remarked papa, rather surprisingly
.scarcely, in my case, as my wife and |, be
as extrayagant as we might should never be
able to get through it, said Brown.
Are you telling me the truth ~
1.-THE truth, VOW It'll"
sThen take her, my boy" said papa,
grasping Browns hand and happy am
that my child has been saved from the clutches
of fortune hunters
Well. they were married, and Brown made
the money fly at such rate that when bis
yife,s mlliner bill came in he was obliged to
confess himself stumped.
Mrs. Brown Immediately sent for her papa.
"What's this ~ said papa. J" What do
you mean, sir9 Where is the endless gold
you promised, chi"
"Pve kept my promise" answered Brown,
AZ gave your daughter endless gold when
married her--a wedding ring. And, my
-daar y said Brown, turning TO his wife, . do
you think that both of us could ever get
through anything which only just fits one of
your taper fngers?o
Papa looked as if he was going to have a
fit, buta remark of his daughters averted the
catastrophe.
WE'LL papa, there's still one thing in our
favor No one can say that I've got an idiot"
So the storm blew over and now Brown
and his wife, though they do have to manage
on eight Thousand year, are the happiest
couple in the two hemispheres Still, the
bridegroom admits that his was rather a
risky experiment.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

LAST WoRDs OF GREAT MEN.--The Gear,
i" Save the pieces;" David Davis, "Hand me
that bottle Of anti-fat = Sam Tiden Neyy,
another boom" Ghas. A. Dana, Cut down
the army to 10000 men !" r. B. Hayes
faye, every inch President - Edison,
"Light, more light I" jeff Davis, Bury me
in petticoats /" Josh Billings, my last
spell r Captain Williams, "Gimme another
club IN. T. Conn., Adpertissr.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

"What a beautiful sight {" exclaimed Mrs.
JONES' rapturously, as she looked out over the
beautiful scenery from a Pennsylvania car
+" Yes" replied Jones, without raising his
eyes from his paper, I" Anthracite"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

Sam Slick says, There are two languages
that's uniyersal--the language of love and the
language of money the gals understand the
one and the men understand the other, the
world over.'
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

Life" says some one, SIS made up of
little things" Which no one can deny. We
were all little things" once-all but Senator
David Davis aud Bafnum's fat boy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

While the mother lives, man has one
friend on earth who will not desert him when
he is needy. Her affection flows from pure
fountain, and ceases only at the ocean of eter-
nifty.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

The hardest thing in the world for a young
woman to do is to look unconcerned the first
time she comes out in handsome engage
ment ring.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

A man who offered for So to put any one
on the track of paying investment, seated
az applicant between the rails of the Boston
and Albany railroad.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

81 say, John, where did you get that loaf
er's hat?"
"Please yer Honor" said John, it's an
old one of yours that Mssis gave me yester-
day, when You were to town."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

The price Of glass eggs, made to fool hens
has lately advanced 10 per cent, and the hens
are just oackling with delight.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

A great many people are anxious to intro
duce new religion into the world who have
not given the old one a fair trial.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

The difference between railroad ticket
and an egg is that the ticket is good until
used.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

Always punish your children for wifully
disobeying you, but never punish them in
anger.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

Sin has great many tools; but lie is the
handle which fits them all.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

When man has a cold IL, bis head he may
be said to be on his sneeze.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

The ordinary life of locomotive is thirty
years. No doubt 1t would live much longer
if 1t did not smoke so much.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

Trees begin to die at their tops; men begin
to dye there to.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07
TfctfARD'S
|TIaSEETOTAL4
j ONIG

The great cure for DYSPEPSIA,
NERVOUSNESS, WEAKNESS and
DEBILITY.
EVERY INVALID can rely on 1t
to conquer disease and strengthen
the debilitated system.
1t regulates the LIVER and
KIDNEYS, stimulates all the func-
tons of life to healthy action, and
Is the best BRAIN and NERVE
tonic in the world.
Women find it a panacea for all
their ills, restoring the carew0rn,
exhausted wife or mother to the
healthy vigor of younger years.
Free from alcoholic dangers, Ply
sicians pronounce it the safest and
best remedy ever sold. 1t must be
tried to know the perfect health
and strength its use insures.
Van Busikirl 81 Co., 1s vescy ST., New York.
sold by Drnssists.
Sept 10, 1s79-lyr
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

The Deyonsbire hat has been revived agaio
and received the name of Buffalo Bill
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07

above. No one can faII 70 make money flat ANY
can do the work You can make from scots. to 50 an
hour by devoting yo evenings and spare time TO the
like il for money making offered before Business
pleasant and strictly honorable. Reader you to
know all about the best paying business before the pub
lic send as your address and win send you full par
ieuars aud private free samples worth IS also
free you can then make up your mind for Yourself
July ., Isss,-ly.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-04-07
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD,
BELvlDERE DlNSlON-

7
TRAINS FOR NEW YORK AND PHILADELPHIA
The sun., 1880-10-10
MATTHIAS MORGRID6E OF VA YNE.
The Man who is said 60 have Left Horace
Greeley NothInR 10 Talk Abont.

EQUINUNK, Wayne County, Pa, Oct g.
Matthias Morgridge. so years OF age lives In
tho Union Settlement. throo miles from this
place. Ho was born In England. He sailed ar
q powder monkey" on board one OF the British
transports that fetched the forces OF that country
TO America to engage In the war OF 1919. He
saw the battle OF Now Orleans from tho deck Of
the vossel Tho ship he was on took back 10
England what was left OF Pakenhams COM
mand after tho BATTLE Morgrldgo continued In
tho British naval service. and was n sailor on
the Bellerophon. which conveyed Napoleon
Bonaparte 10 St. Helena In 1917 He Quilted
the service the same year. and in 1920 came to
Wayne County. when tho country hereabout
was mostly wilderness.
Mr. MorRridge's eocentricties have made him
celebrated not only In this but adjouinR coun-
ties. He Is noted for the power OF his voice
and remarkable flow OF language In his
primo he could make himself heard half mile
Se n He vSss SGsd q woS. q
barFoom 9TH Of tho 2On House in en- lie liz
couldn't make inc stop, he replied until |
longer and quit. He never went into any town
that he did not have half Of its population Mt hts
heels to his rapid apd m rsia
OF anecdotes. He tells with great atsfaction
an incident TINT occurred to him when he went
s,peeak. walking, about as be told his stories.
vessel to the other. This SO annoyed the Cap
tain that he finally gave Morgrldge $50 to go
Wod er hoSr rapstS VIE
wit and hnmor. and narrated in IN inimitable
manner. He had q. story to At any emergency.
related to his personal experience. and the
person Is yet to DO found who ever heard any Of
Some years after ho settled in Wayne County
no was elected Justice OF tho Peace and appoint-
ed Postmnster; An enemy had him indicted for
holding two offices Of trust and profit. contrary
to law. On the trial his only defence was thai
neither office was one Of profit; and the only
master. rs be had trusted everybody for stamps
that had asked him to; The defence was ae-
of Horace dreeoy. ' He " took tie 'fS Nee % Yesk
Tribune from its start up to the time Of Mr.
nea to an an ineryisw With isi tSs gre great sdor.
hours. as he relates. filled the sanctum with in
cldents G his llie stories and opinions on cur
Mr.. Greeley Chance % to iI get in word. % Finally %
he stopped suddenly ,,, and said: Now; MT;
was going out Of the office with a rush. Then
hs sat down, again and cried out: By George.
ton to Be snid I'd like to know what it is L"
The Tribune soon afterward printed an account
OF the interview.
At the ago OF SO Matthias Morgrdge is physi-
cally in excellent condition.. His mind. how
eyer; is gradually falling, He has nine living
great grandchildren. One OF his grandchil-
dren lives in this village. She is slight. fair
haired girl of 20. 1t Is not an uncommon
thing for her to begin her days work by getting
breakfast for twenty-five employees OF the
great tannery here. besides putting up from q
dozen to fifteen dinners for men going TO the
woods after bark. all before daybreak.
The sun., 1880-10-10

Tho fret stnRe In the negation OF the win to live
is the feeling OF pity and compassion for others.
Altrusticsentiment II thus made the ground OF
justice and OF all social morality. The second
and highest stage OF self efacement is the
cessntion OF all volition. In this all thoughts
OF individual or social well-beinR disappear
and the subject experiences tho blessedness OF
perfect repose. Tho highest morality 10. then.
according to Schopenhauor. the most complete
asceticism. and the supreme bliss is atrance-
like ecstasy Strange fact. that the very latest
OF idealistic systems which has impressed and
thralled the mind Of Europe should be m at
tempt to reproduce the Buddhist doctrine OF
Nirpand. Thus our sketch. which oponed with
the mystical solf-destruction enjoined by the
Neoplatonic philosophy. and which closes with
the ecstatc self-surrender OF Schopenhauer.
bears on its beginning and it's end the imprint
OF Buddhist thought. M. w. II.
The sun., 1880-10-10
A nlortifying Subject.

What Is TO be. do not know:
What is, I do esteem
To be so undesirable
And worthless. that deem
There must be something good in store
Something TO keep in view.
To compensate us living here.
For Living as we do.
For fe--oh life. IL seems a chorei
Its surface is 80 blurred
by cares and passions that II makes
One long TO be inferred:
To occupy tranquil spot
Some seven feet by two,
And Just serenely lie aud rot.
With nothing else 10 DO.
think that when there ceased 10 be
Sufficient tenement
To hold my conscience then would
Begin to be content
And IL | shonld be there 10 see
Ny stomach take its leave.
tu ghlher up my mOuluerlnB shroud
And chuckle in my sleeve.
think that when the greedy worm
Began upon my brains,
I'd wish him luck, and hope he'd Get
His dinner for his pains.
I'd warn him that they would he apt
With him to disagree.
For IL they led HIM we'll. 'twere what
They seldom did Tor me,
But when I should be certain that
My SCARED and battered heart
Was OF my corporality
Not any more n part,
Though I'd no voice, ia rattle in
Ny throat, with joyous tones;
And with no feelings left. I would
Feelhappy in my bones.
The sun., 1880-10-10
POETRY OF THE PERIOD.



Again the unseen Hand that bends
The rainbow's arch OF splondor.
That fres the hush Of morn ana blends
The snnsets rapturcs tender.
Its wealth Of living light hath brought,
with scarce line that's sober,
The wild woods Of October
The regal oak rules all the holt
Save where, on angry mission.
The sumac rears It's red revolt
And heads intense scdition;
Their bcacons oler the cOpses leap,
But in the dale grow duller,
ANA thcnce through all the forest deep
The sun., 1880-10-10
HEAVY ON OPERA HOUSES.
An EnterprIsing city which has One for
Every Ell 900 Inhabitants.


NEW HAVEN, Oct 5.-It Is true that there
are in this great country cities larger than New
Haven, but when you come to talk opera houses
this town can knock tho everlasting spots out OF
all OF them. big and little. Only few years ago
we had none; now wo have three; or one opera
house for every 2lO00 inhabitants. First they
altered the old Universalist church into q thea
tre. and called it the New Haven Opera House.
Next the owner OF Music Hall renovated and
otherwise improved that establishment and
States Marshal CARL built big theatre, which
has Just been opened to the public. and this is
distinguished as CarlPs Opera House. Last
Saturday all these places OF amusement were
opened and We had three matinees and three
evening entertainments; AS the combined
II will be observed that the six performances
were calculated to, amuse 10000 persons, or
about one in six OF the entire population. None
OF our opera houses found occasion on Satur-
day to hang up in front tho placard:
The sun., 1880-10-10
hound TO Go 10 tho Circus.

Tho operatives OF silk mill in Paterson, N.
j.. asked permission to cease work oaso attend the cir
Gus then in town The propretors refused nermisson
and there Was prospect VI rebellion, locked the
doors and took away the key Ater repeated demands
- bs assTa'ii ono q ulo !si, VAN sH,e ,i
into uls street with Shoau VI Joy.
The sun., 1880-10-10
STANDING ROOM ONLY.

Some OF the more conservative townsfolk con
cede that IL may strain the people little to sup
port all three opera houses; but the out and
and that IL any other city should attempt to
rival her New Hayon viii at once put up more
opera houses.
The sun., 1880-10-10

from iotMb tWNpdnt~
'Tis Pleasant. indeed.
As the letters read
On the guidebpari AT the crossing.
over the street
The DranCucS meet,
Gently swaying and tossing,
Through It's lcafy crown
The sun strikes down
In warcring flakes and flashes,
Aswinding itgocs
Betwixt tall rows
OF naples and Gins and ashes
There, high aloOf
In the gilded roof,
Are the pbCcrc snd vireo wingtpG
Their ftiul hight
In the ilickoring light;
The hangbird's basket swinging.
By many a great
And small estate.
And orchard cool and pleasant,
And croquct ground
The way sweeps round.
In many curve and crescent
In crcscents and curves
1t swaYs and swerves,
Like the dow OF q stately river.
On carriage and span.
On maiden and man,
The dappling sunOe ans quiver
!, winds between
Broad slopes Of the green
Wood.nlanued and shaggy highland.
Aud shores that rise
From the lake. which lies
Below, with its one fair island.
The long days dawn
Over LAKE and lawn.
And set on the hills, and at even
Above IL beam
All tho lights that CLEAN
In the starry streets OF heaven.
But not for these
Lake. lawns and trees.
And gardens gay III their season.
Its praise ] sing
For a swecter thing,
And a far more human reason.
Children meet
In house aud street
Pretty maids and happy mothers,
All fair TO see;
But one to me
More beautiful than all othersi
One whose pure face.
With its elhnclng grace,
Makes every one her lover;
Charuiing the sight
With n swCcter light
Than fails from the boughs above her.
Though on each side
Are the homes Of pride.
And Of beauty-here aud there ono
The dearest Oi all.
Though simple and small.
Is the dwelling OF my i9ir one,
You will marvel that snch
Agay sprite so much
Otagra mans life engages,
And smile when |
Confess with sigh
The difference IN our ages
Must love depart
As we grow in years, become colbert
NV love is but four,
While am two score,
And may he triHe older
with her smile and her glance,
And her curls that dance,
No one could ever resist her.
lfanywhere
There s another so fair.
Why. that must be her sister
With screams Of glce
Al the sight OF me,
Togc ther forth they sally
From under the bOuGhs
That scrren the house
That stands beside the valley,
II is scenes like these.
As they clasp my knees
And clsm6rfor ks. and present.
That still must make
Our street by the lake
More pleasalt-oh, most pie asanti
Ride mcrry mast,
Glide smoothly and fast,
o hrOngs VI wealth and OF pleasuret
while sober aud slow
On foot | 90,
Enjoying my humble leisure.
oworld, before
My lowly door
Daily coming and going;
u tide Ot life,
q stream ui strife,
Forever ebblng and flowing
Ry the show aud the shine
No eye can divine
II you be fair or hateful;
only know,
Asy0u cowe and go,
That am glad and grateful
sohCre, well back
From the shaded track.
BY the curve Of its greenest crescent.
To-day | swing
In INV hammock, and sing
The praise OF the street named Pleasant
1T TRowBnpsE
The sun., 1880-10-10
Four O'Clock.

Prom As Sunday SLOol TimSA
Tho work Of the day is ended,
And thankfully | stay
To watch tile last tardy straggler
Depart on his noisy way.
The wind is Hitting gently
Ihs yellow window blind,
And idly turning the pages
OF the b0uks that are left behind
And family the merry voices
Float in the halt open door,
Aud glints ut tile wcstcring sunlight
slant over the dusty hoor
And sit and uredly wonder
For the room is very still
How my words have wrought with the children,
Whether for good VI i'll
SARA DUNCAN
The sun., 1880-10-10

The crew Of Life Saving station No 5. a. A;hnry PARK
hauled a seine recently, and caught 1000 pounds Of
striped bass that nsusd them twenty hys een pound
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-08-20

TEXAS never will be behind in anything.
Not only does she make splendid showing
on the census rolls but she has not been out
done in the matter Of admiration for DR.
Tanner, as the following letter will prove:
''To DR.. Tanner, the Faster--DEAR SIR;
1t is with much pleasure that we, the edi-
tress of the Farmer and Orchardi.t, Palestine,
Texas, have watched the progress Of your
grand experiment in the cause of science and
humanity. After correcting the too common
error that Texas is filed with nsught but low
and thieving specimens Of the human race,
we would suggest that here are the most re-
fined and civilized people in the United States.
They are filed with enterprise and adventure
to the largest extent of which Anglo-Saxon
blood is capable. They render Texas char
acter peculiarly worthy and remarkable in
many ofits phases Of elegance and usefulness,
not the least of which is the remarkable
beauty of person attached to its ladies. We
are one Of these ladies, and we this day make
you an offer Of marriage, not only for the
reason of the remarkable experiment and
consequent reputation, but tor the economy
of n husband whose self-sacriicing DISPOSE
ton will always insure peace and plenty at
home. Yours devotedly,
CARY ELIZABETH CRoYLEs.
2. S.-Answer soon. Our paper has the
larges! circulation of any inland paper in the
state Of Texas, and Roberts will be nominated
by IN overwhelming vote on the first ballot
in the state convention. c. e.
She guessed well as TO the nomination of
Governor Roberts, and we endorse what she
says about the beauty and intelligence of our
Texas women.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-08-20

THE St. Louis Times, staunch Demo-
cratic paper, and one Of the best in St.
Louis, showed great enterprise during the
state convention recently in session in this
city. 1t got up an edition for gratuitous
distribution among the members of the
convention and visitors to the city, sending
thousand copies here for the purpose, its
issue Of Monday, the 9th inst. 1t contained
a long, elaborate and exhaustive article on
Texas, the resources of the state and its
railroads. The Times is certainly to be con-
graduated on its enterprise, and it affords us
pleasure to state that it made favorable i'm
preston on every one who got copy. We
trust that the Times may continue to make
friends in Texas, and that it may reap the
reward it merits by its liberality and by its
many eIcellencies as live, enterprising, re-
liable, Democratic newspaper.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-08-20

THE special dispatch from Montpelier,
Vermont, to the st. Louis Globe.D Democrat,
that il is rumored that Mr.. John Kelly, of
New York, is preparing to declare in favor of
Garfield and Arthur seems rather disphanous
for eredence. 1t sounds like Mrs. Jones had
said that she heard that Mrs. Smith had seen
a man who had been told by woman that
it was reported that Colonel Jenkins had
been Informed that his cousin had been
notified that statement was current that
Mrs. Williams had declared that if it rained
before morning the ground was liable to be
somewhat damp.
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-08-20

zation" remains like It was first established.
If'the whole people say "we don't want
the states TO be sovereign; we
want the United States government to be su-
preme; we want national form OF govern
ment, consolidation of states" they
have right to say so, and then when they
change the organic law of the land making it
SO, why who is there to say them nsy' But
what sense is there in declaring that our gov
eminent is a purely national government, is
mere consolidation of states, until the con.
stitution is changed TO that effect!
The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-08-20
The Case of Mayor Thurmond.

To the Editor OF the Herald.
The expulsion of Mayor Thurmond by the
city council (f the act was valid, and GER
tainly that body can not deny the validity of
its own act,) created vacancy in the office.
The charter, we believe in case of vacancy,
requires an election to be held on not less
than ten days notice. Alderman Bohny, by
selection Of the council, has heretofore been
and is now mayor pro tenn. 1t seems to US
that it was clearly the duty of the city coun-
Gil to have ordered the election at once, as the
charter makes the Office an elective one, to
he filled by the people. The citizens ex.
pectsd the election to be ordered last night,
and we're much surprised to see from the
council proceedings that the matter was
postponed on the motion of the pro tenn.
mayor, BENNY. Until the election, he fills
the office. Can IL be that desire to
preside prompted the motion to postpone :?
Were it not for the dignity of the position
he holds, and his acknowledged sense of pro.
pristy, the circumstances might warrant q
suspicion of the kind.
We notice, too that the council held an
executive session, and have leard
that the purpose was to find
man who would suit for mayor. We are
not in formed of any article in the charter
req uiring the council to pass on this matter,
and have believed the people capable of
making their own selection.
We are unwilling to criticise or even to
think unkindly of the motives of the council
and mayor pro tenn. in this matter, but
their duty under the charter seems so plain
that the omission to call an election suggests
the thought that perhaps partially on the
part of the council for the mayor pro tenn
prevented the course.
If they have created vacancy and intend
to fill il BY Withholding the order Of election
from the people tie fact ought to be an
nounced and public expectations put to rest.
Will they order the election at their next
meeting, and in proper time, or will they
postpone it until the next general election
We shall see.
Public sentiment seems to demand imme-
date action. Gentlemen, you have tried the
mayor. Now, bear in mind that you are on
trial before the bar of public opinion.
OLD LINE DEMOCRAT.
Dallas, August Is, 1880.