The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-08-26
WIT AND HUMOR-

a
rely quarrel, they pull together.
They've at last found use for Alaska.
= 1t is to furnish job for a census taker.
An indication Of Spring-A school,
BOY. putting bent pin in his teachers
chair.
Some one inquiries .'Where have all
The ladics' BELTS gomez Gone to waist,
long ago.
, The mathematician who wished to
- borrow some cash wrote: ~ will y
ask for l."
Ought not the song in "Pinafore" to
commence, ~ am sweet little oleomar.
yarinecupw
The glazier who was cheated out of
his pay complained that he only got
ais trouble for his panes.
They have Zulus on exhibition at
The London aquarium. The place is
assuming the character of a zululogical
garden.
A Kansas weekly publishes "four-
zen rules to be observed during q tor.
lado." Only one is neccssary-Keep
put of the way.
With the supply on hand, it looks
~ if mighty good business was be-
fng done when two sparrows are sold
or a farthing. 1914
Each cadet at West Point strenuous
y denies having cut Whitaker's ears,
out the evidence show that he was cut
by all of them.
1870 Help from an unexpected quarter, as
;he tramp remarked when a twenty
i've cent piece was handed him by the
lady of the house." ~ z-~
"What are you writing such big
1and for, Pat?" "Why, you see that
nv grandmother is dafe, and I am writ
ng loud letter to her."
- "Please to understand" said the
honorable Billy, the other day, "Tm
not such q fool as look" "No," said
Bob, "that would be too mueh."
Professorin Veterinary Science
J., to what class of animals does the
.ss belong? Mr.. ST. think, professor,
belongs to the sophomore class.
- A Savannah man invented water
7elocipede, and thereby won the ever
O., asting gratitude of the shark, who
ook in both inventor and invention.
There are two kinds Of oranges
rown in this country; one is the kind
hat is good to eat, and the other is
he kind that is sold on the railway
- rains. ..
Asingular and unlocked for fatality
: just reported in the South American
- var. A soldier in the Chill infantry
vas shot dead. The Peruvian soldier
Who shot him was promptly arrested
put explained that he was just clean
ng his gun and didn't know it was
oaded.
A famous fiddler told an extraor.
linary story, which, strange enough
HANGED to be true. "It is so cxtraor.
linary," said listener, "that if I die
not know it to be true should believ,
t false" "Ah," said the narrator, "if
t had been false should have told i
II much more truthful manner thai
. did"
Charles Lamb says speaker should
lot attempt to express too much, bu
hould leave something to the imagin
ton of his audience, and lie tells how
icing called OH to return thanks for
cast to his health, he rose, bowed tt
lis audience, said "Gentlemen," ant
sat down leaving it their imagin
ton to supply the rest.
Jones had engaged man to dig .
veil at his suburban place. Seem!
xlim q month later, Jones asked how
le was getting along with his work
nd was told that the we'll was hal
one. Judge, therefore, of his surpris
pom visiting the premises, he foun
NJ, md in hn NJ n
curse he hunted up the man, and aske
i'm what he meant by saying the wei
vas half done. The man very cool
eplied $50 it is "wcll begun is bal
lone, you know" A..
A Boston artist painted an orang
------ eel on the sidewalk so naturally thu
tx fat men slipped down on it.
HEN dressed for the evening, the girls nowaday
Scarce an atom Of dress on them leave;
one blame them-for what is IN evening dress
But a dress that is suited for Eve?
A JOLLY, 5iuh-mannered priest, O
eing introduced to physician, calle
i'm 'dear brother" "Dear brother
-ohoed the doctor, in surprise. "Wh
ot?" asked the priest. "Do we ne
9th aid the sick to die %
1T is a well-established fact that
ealthy man requires about pint of q
"a breath; that he breathes about ], 0(
mes an hour, and that, as matter b
md dispute, he requires about fit
wen hogsheads of air in twenty-fo'
ours. .. -- ..sI --- -
"MAMMA," says 4-year-old Mimi
what are we made OFF," "Dust, n
ear," replies mamma. Not long aft
-innie is heard instructing her young
cother. EDO you know what we a
ade of?" she asks. emo" "We.
wv, I'll tell you, and you must ale
-lember it. We are made Of sawdust
WHEN man can't keep his he.
>ove water, he may console himself |
wing large floating debt. ss.
A JEwE1ER hung watch in his wi
wv and labeled it "Look at Il
atch for &c." and the unsophisticat
,ntleman from Africa who stared at t
ticle and then went in and wanted t
10, had to get down on the floor wi
le ieweler and roll over and under hj
number of times before he could
ade. to understand that he could1