The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1880-01-20
Sense and Nnpsettse.

A land agitator-A pillow.
The loveliest things in mutfs, thus far,
are pretty little hands.
+ There are five thousand trees in Joe
Jefferson's orange orchard in Louisiana.
General Sherman is said 20 be the
most persistent theater-goer of all the
public men in Washington.
Astor own. three thousand four hum
ldred dwelling housesin New York city.
This is besides stores and other build
tings.
The New Haven Register says that
when man has rheumatism in his knees
We knows the value of q gate without
hinges 81
Dearest, let me correct your morals.
tYou address me MY dearest Maria
Am to suppose you have other dear
| Marias p
When tramp was offered his dinner
lif he would WELD the scythe for an
lhour, he soliloquized: "To dine-no
mower Ayl there's the grub"
"What this country wants is more col
lleges," shrieks an exchange. No it don't
sonny; there are enough oarsman and
ball. players on hand now to last fol
ten years.
From Texas comes the cattle man
I Each season he appears;
I BE sells his herds, and then streight back
| His course to Texas steers.
-Kansa. CITY Times.
81 never argy again a success" says
Josh Billings. when see rattle.
snakes head sticking out of q hole,
bear of to the left and say to miself, that
lhole belongs to that snaik."
| A Tennessee widow had a mule
which was likely to die. She cut bis
throat, laid the sin to unknown enemies
and public subscription purchased her
the incest sleckest mule in town.
| A lady had her dress trimmed with
bugles before going to ball. Her lit.
tile daughter wanted to know II the bu
giles would blow when she danced, "Oh
Co." said the mother, papa will do thai
when be sees the BILL"
The latest song is entitled, "Let Her
Wander Down the Mountsin," All righ,
hut IL it is st. Louis girl we insist thai
she remove her shoes before starting
To case Of fall human life should no,
be imperiled through her foolhardiness
It's oil very nice to tslk about attend.
| ing prayer meeting. But nice coy
parlor with sofa hardly big enough
| for two catches two-thirds of the young
people quicker than prayer meeting
house with whole seat to- themselves
"Come, Bob, get up," said an indul.
gent father to his hopeful son the other
morning. Remember, it is the early
bird that catches the worms" "Whai
DO 7 Scare for worms 2n replied The
young hopeful. "Mother won't let me
60 a fsbiDg."
Cornelius Vanderbilt, who was always
the sluggard Of the family, has gone
abroad for the winter with his wife,
leaving poor, working little Willie
at home with no one to help him cut
coupons of the S5,0O0,000 in 4.per cents
recently purchased fof family use.
The manufacture of friction matches
IN this country employs seventy five
factories and twenty-five hundred en-
ployes, one-third of whom are children.
The revenue tax of one cent per hun
dred. Yields the Government an annual
return of over three million dollars.
Bogardus broke $500 glass balls the
other day in New York, firing in the ag
gregate 1854 times. This was done in
seven hours, sixteen minutes and two
seconds. The force of the recoil was
equal to forty pound blow at each
shot. 'Bogardus made $1,000 by the
feat.
A young lady who had been married q
little over year wrote to her matter-of-
fact old father, saying, "We have the
dearest little cottage in the world; orns
mented with the most charming little
creepers you ever saw" The old msn
read the letter and exclaimed, Twins by
thunder"
"Some more cheese. please" said 9
small boy of s to his papa at dinner
mo, my Child" was the reply Of the
prudent parent; "you have already had
enough When was q child / had to
eat my bread and smell my cheese u
l"Well," said sonny, 'please give me Q
piece to SMELL"
Chairman Atkins, of the House Ap.
preparations committee, who was taken
i'll at the beginning of the session, does
not improve, and his friends are becom
ling somewhat alarmed as to his health.
His physicians do not think he has the
erysipelas, although the symptoms are
much like those Of that disease.
Incentives TO Matrimony-'You ought
to marry 2" Never" II know the
very GIRL" "Let me alone" "She is
young" "Then she is sly." "Beauti.
ful." "The more dangerous. "Of good
family" "Then she is proud" "Tender
hearted" "Then she is jealous" "She
has talent " "Then she is conceited.' =
"And q fortune" II will take her."
"Constant dropping will wear the bar.
dest rock" A chap who had forgotten
this was considerably astonished the
other day while walking up street to fee
q ponud weight strike him on the heel
He had loaded his coat tail pocket with
it to keep the clustering fall winds from
showing a patch concealed beneath, and
it had finally worn through. He viii
carry sand hereafter.
A good Rochester pastor, widower
proposed to Q young lady short time
since, but was rejected. His feelings
had the second severe test Yesterday
when widow sent him the following
text to preach from: "Yop ask and re.
ceive not because you ask q miss -
James iv., g. We trust the good mar
was encouraged to try again, and tha
the next time he asked neither q mis-.
nor amiss.
The Confederate General JOSEPH
E. Johnston was lately in Raleigh, ,Nortl
Carolina, and gentleman asked hin
| yathor pointei1v uhu tho Southarr a ~,