The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-07-01
HERE AND THERE.

HERE AND THERE. Il
The cause Of woman suffrage is max
fig progress in Iowa.
" It is not true that Princeton students
scalp the freshmen they kill.
Do not insult the under man in a fight
by telling him there is plenty of room on
top.
Anna Louise Cary is a sweet singer to
some purpose. She gets $1,000 month
and expenses.
'Waiterw eyes, sir" ssWhat's this?o
cts bean soup" mo matter what it
has been; the question is, what is it
.nowY
An article in one of the New York
magazines asks How does beer work ~
It works mischief if you take too much
Of it.
Omaha has noticed that when her riv-
er is muddy her milk and beer are the
same, and she calls it curious disb ensa-
ton Of Providence. :.
When Miss Bertha Won Hillern walk
ed in Washington, her agent had to scour
the country for thirty miles before he
could get sawdust for her to walk on.
For a rich man to make will that will
please all his heirs, is about as difficult
task as for an editor to undertake to
print paper to please all his readers,
It makes suffering man awful mad
to be drawn into discussion about sFthe
etization of the dollars of our faith
ers," and the necessity of an intercon-
yertible bi-metallic currency"
Junior clerk: 1Would you kindly per-
NIT me to absent myself tomorrow to
attend my fathers funeral p Head of
firm deep in fgures:) "You may 60,
Hawkins, but pray not let this hap
pen again"
Will. Lister, young man in Cedar
county, Neb., was while ago Giving in
clover" engaged to half dozen young
ladies, and would have been Yet, if they
hadn't begun inviting each other to be
bridesmaids.
The Pennsylvania salt manufacturing
company turned out over one million
boxes of concentrated I've last year. Eli
Perkins and Gath either want to hump
up their backs and distinguish them
selves or else go out of the business.
New Orleans owes Mrs Gaines 81, OOO,-
900; and she says when she gets her
money she is going to publish newspa-
per. 1t is strange that she should want
to spend IN six months the money she
was nearly a whole life time in securing.
Sunday is the golden clasp that
binds together the volume of the week I"
says writer. 1t is also good time to
pull off your boots and try what bunion
remedies you have accumulated during
the preceding six days.
Wsien alone, we have our thoughts ia
watch; in the family, our temper. in So
Fciety, our tongues. We should endeayor
to illustrate our devotions in the morn-
ing by our conduct through the day.
A man in Illinois committed suicide
by drowning, lately, in six inches Of
water. He couldn't have done it alone.
but his wife, with that self-sacrificine
devotion and helpfulness SO characteris-
TIC OF the sex, sat on his head.
A brother editor has lost faith in the
luck of horse shoes. He nailed one
over his door recently, and that morn.
ing there came by mail three duns and
seven "stOps, and man called with a
revolver to ask who wrote that article?'
The mother-in-law has been attacked
IN the New Jersey courts, where man
mas mad the courage to sue her for a
thirteen hundred dollar board bill. II
was contracted during one of the short
visits to see how Maria was getting along.
An India rubber baby. that squeala
like human infant, has been invented.
We don't know whether this fills q long
felt want or not, but when it comes to
falling out Of the third-story window it
certainly possesses one great advantage
over the flesh and blood article.
w 10 wants to kiss girl if he knows
she's got to let him, and he knows he's
got to do it, and every body's looking on
to see fair play? No, sir, that takes AN
the life ~; of it. The way to do is to
catch her Of and and tear the gathers
out Of her, ard pull the ribbons to pieces,
and knock her back hair down, and hear
her say, "Ohl" all to yourself, and then
go away to a quiet place and think it
over.
It is easy enough. Suppose you have
mailed a letter in your pocket and
carried it there three weeks! Sit down
and write: You will observe by the
date Of the within, my dear mott
law, that Eliza forgot to hand it to me
until this morning. It has been banged
around in the bureau drawer, and is
rather soiled in consequence. / must
talk to Eliza. She is getting more care
less and forgetful every day."
Thomas Dunn, of Pittsburgh, was ar
rested for simply attempting to cut his
wife's throat because ''she wouldn't patch.
pis pants" A man in this enlightened
nineteenth century can't be expected to.
30 around with unpatched pants. But
there may have been some extenuatings
circumstances in the case Of the Pitts.
burgh woman. Her husbands trousers
may have been black, and she had no.
blue or red stuff in the house with which
to patch 'em.
# He was SO drunk he could not walk,
could scarcely move, and only partially
articulate. A friend of his came up and
iupbraided him. IF / were in your
place, said the friend, 81 d go out in the
woods and hang myself" IF (hic) you
were in my place, how (hic) the deuce
(hic) would you get to (hic) the woods?'
was the squelching inquiry.
There's nothing to exceed the diaboli-
cal satisfaction man will take in an
nouncing to his:wife, after he has got his
shirt on, that there is button missing,
and the keen delight he feels in seeing
her dance around the room after q needle
and thread, while she listens to q lecture