Daily Republican., 1880-09-30
"A MOROUs.
Faeetieus FYaR Eneats Pound Float
tnx I'm Fields of FaeI ana Fancy.

HK WAsN'T MEAN -Yr Eli Ah Hitch
cock WAS Connecticut constable, who's,
character was under scrutiny. Dea
COD Solomon Risirg," said the ques
toner, "do you think Mr. Hitchcock IL
q dishonest man 7"
(very promptly "oh, no, sir, moi
by any means."
"Well, then do you think he is q
mean man 7"
"Well, with regards to that" said
the man little more deliberately, 81
may say that | don't really think he ID
mean man; I've sometimes thought
he was what we might call q keeIiul
man--A prudent man 50 to speak"
"What do you mean by 3 prudent
man 7"
"Well, / mean this: That one time
he had an execution for $5 against the
old widow Witter back here, and he
went up to her house and levied on
Gock Of ducks, aud he chased them
ducks, one at . time, pooty much all
day, and every time he'd catch duck
he'd set right down aud wiring its neck
and charge mileage mounting to more
than the debt. Nothin' mean about it,
as / know Of, but always thought
after that, that Mr.. Hitchcock was q
very prudent man."
How he KNEW HIM.-The 0llowine
amusing examination recently occurred
in court room in one OF the Blue grss.
counties Of Kentucky: General H., q
prominent lawyer OF that region, was
defending prisoner charged with horse
stealing, ana the witness WAS swearing
as to the identity Of the stolen horse.
Gen. H., "How do you know this is the
same hOYse"
Witness (hesitatingIy)' "Well, lust
know 1t is."
swell, howl"
~ can't tell exactly how, but l know
1t 40 we'll as / know you, General H. "
"Well how do you know that | am
General Hl"
"Bscause Just before dinner ! heard
Mr.. C. say: General Il. let's 80 and
take drink and you went"
This identity was satisfactory to the
Blue Grass jury.
FAsAToHABLE Galveston young lady
at social gathering remarks jestingly
to Gilhooly: " | wonder how much |
would bring If was put up at auction
and sold to the highest bidder?" "Just
about $4,000" Why, my iewelry is
worth that" "Yes, that's what | pu.
down in my estimate"
"Yss, l am to be married, my dear
friend. The young lady IL pretty and
very clever, yet she cannot play the
piano forte; that is her only falling"
''Why, | should call that blessing. 1t
is certaialy no fault" Hear me through
She cannot play the piano forte and
yet she alwsy insists on playing"
A MULE AND A Dover CLERK, He
came in yesterday morning with un-
rutfled plumags iSnd he strolled about
winking at the girls and he made faces
at the small hoy who sold the Record,
and the small boy turned somersault
in ths fullness Of his derision and bided
his time.
He didn't bile long. In fact he had
hardly rsgained HIS feet when he saw
that bland youth strollipg toward Mr..
Denny's prizs mule. The small boy
with his hate ranking way down IN
h is heart followed. He eaw a form clad
in navy blue, poke a silk umbrella into
the ribs Of the passive mule. de look
ed again aud The scene was changed.
The navy blue vision Was moving
through the air even as comet and
about it hung a cloud Of profanity,
and II lit on the stock iencs and the
small boy returned good for evil by
helping IL down. But bis pleasure
has turned to ashes and with one more
look at the mule, still passive, he
slogly dragse himself heuos. - From
the State Fair Record.
A four year old Sunday school girl
d d the be II sh, G, u d with o aquestion
that was asked Of tnsinfant class. Said
the teacher: "And it came to pass
when King Hezekiah heard it, that he
rent his clothes.' Now, what does that
mean. children-'hs rent his clothesT
Up went q little hand. "Wsll, II you
know. tell u.s." "Please, ma'am,"
said the child timidly, "Ispose he hired
'em out"
A negro who was suspected Of surrep.
titiously meddling with his neighbours
fruit, being caught in q garden BY
moonlight, nonpulssd his detectors by
aising his eyes, clasping his hands and
exclaiming: "Good heavens
Ills yere darksy can't go nowhere to
pray any more without bein' sturbed."
A Detroit man was astonished the
pther day TO find that ths telephone
,o,,a t.lk Rran,b. Ha said he thought