The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1880-11-29
Ghe G#telliqetr1
AsLIGHr INDIsPOsITIoE.

1
AsLIGHT INDIsPOSITIOE.
Mr.. spoopondyke NJ the Mercy OF PHI
and Fruit,
srOolIyn Eagle.
"Thats better" groaned Mr.. spoopen
dyke, as his wife arranged the cool Pill
lows under his head; "now can die look
ing out upon the trees and sky" and MI
spoopendyke assumed q resigned expires
sion OF vissge aud gazed out Of the corne
Of his eye upon q bare slisnthus tree ant
a half dozen telegraph wires.
"0h! you won't de-" said Mrs. Spoop
endyke, cheertully. "You're only o it'll,
sick, and you'll get over it.
"Thats all you know about 1t" snarleC
Mr.. Spoopendyke. ITO hear you talk on,
would think you had to be fitted up will
little beds and bad smell to be a Gov
eminent hospital. I'm down sick, l tel
ye, and don't want any fooling about 1t.
"Well, well, ccoed Mrs. Spoopendyke
don't excite yourself. Keep quiet ant
you'll get WE'LL"
much you'd care" muttered Mr.
SpoopendyEe, turning on his side anC
resting his cheek on his hand, an attitude
generally assumed by martyred spirits OF
the approach oil dissolution.
"Will you take your drops again, dear ?
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke. "1t's time foI
them"
mo, won't. They are nasty. haven
had anything but drops for week. From
the way you administer drops one woulC
think you was the trap.door Of q hanging
machine. Gimme some figs"
"But there amt any dgs, dear. III Il
and get you some" said Mrs. spoopen
dyke: $40.
THAT'S It, growled her husband 'Yor
only want an excuse to leave me to die
alone. Why haven't you some figs? Yor
might know I'd want figs. Got any
citron2" .....
mo, haven't any citron; but l won'
be more than minute away, and I'll gel
you any fruit you want"
80 yes; you'd get 1t, | have no doubt
What you want is rail.tepceRround yon
and gate off the hinges to be dod .gGsted
orchard. Fetch me some Strawberries"
"Why, straw berries are out Of season,
There amt any in market now"
~ supposed you'd say that" moaned
Mr.. Spoopendyke. you've always col
some excuse. II should die, you'd have
an apology ready. Gimme something to
take this taste out OF my mouth"
"What would you like my dear?" asked
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"soap, dod CAST It'll Gimme soap, II you
can't think OF anything else" demanded
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Mebbe you amt gor
any soap. At least, you wouldn't have Il
I wanted 1t. Got any cherries?"
"No, they are out OF season. There are
some grapes in the closet"
"Don't want any measly grapes. II ]
can't have what want, don't want it
Where's those drops? Why don't you
give me my medicine? Going to let me
die for want OF little attention2 Wan
the life insurance, don't ye? Going To
gimme those drops before the next cleo
tion?"
Mrs. spoopendyke ladled out the dose
half OF which went down Mr.. Spoopen
dykes gullet and half over the front Of hi
night shirt.
"That's It," be howled. "spill 'em
They're for external application. Put ZEN
anywhere. Pour 'em up the chimney,
and Mr.. spoopendyke fred the spoor
ACROSS the room.
!"Have piece OF orange to take the
taste sway?" asked Mrs. spoopendyke
pleasantly.
mo, / WON'T" objected her spouse
"Gimme a piece Of muskmelon."
II don't believe they have muslmelons
in November" sighed Mrs. spoopendyke
"0f course they DON'T" responded Mr.
Spoopendyke. "They don't have anything
when Pm sick. It's wonder they have
houses. It's miracle that they have beds
Pm astonished to think they have doctors
and drug stores. I've gotto hurry up and
die, or they won't have any undertakers,
or collins, or graves: Gimme piece o.
orange, will ye? s'poso I'm going to lie
here and chaw on the taste OF those drops
for a month";"
"You'd like those grapes" suggested
his wife.
"No wouldn't, either. What do you
want me 10 eat EN- for9 Got any interest
in the grape trade? Get any commission
on those grapes2 Anybody pay ye to make
me eat 'em2 One would think you only
wanted an iron srbor and four small boys
climbing over you to be q grape vine
Where's my pill?"
"You took your pill, DEAR. replied hii
patient vile.
"Oh, OF course! A pill is out Of season
now. Can't even have pill when fee
like It," and Mr.. Gpoopendyke groaned
in spirit and looked dismal. "Now, ell
down and don't moye.S l want to sleep
Don't you make q bit Of noise, II you wan
me to live"
And Mis-. spookendyke hell her breath
and never rustied feather willis her hus
band lay and glared out OF the window FOL
~ hapr and half