Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-06-26
KAIII.ERN.

~ WV
RAILLERY.
Dawn at Howell the other day an Ild
woman about 20 years old BOARDED a
Detroit, Lansing aud Northern train q
come lu this city. Her baggage Consis-
cd ol large covered basket, and sta
would not allow any hand to take 1
from her. She had scarcely got seated
When the passengers were startled by
loud Meow" IN the car, quickly tOl.
lowed 10y "per-wow and other "sows"
too numerous Ia mention, While all
were searching to discover the cat the
old lady sat ~ stiii an poker aud look
ell straight ahead at the stoyepipe. The
SOUNDS continued, aud a passenger hp-
ally pcrTrd around until he located the
cat ia the basket.
Madam, are YOU taking that cat lron
one county ~ another
"What cat ." she snapped.
"puut yuu know that under the iass
at thus State hc went on, "a pers,n
who removes a iullgrown cat from one
county tu another without the written
PERMISSION OF the Swamp Land Com,
irissioucrs is liable Ia a tine of SlOO?'
"Guud lands, hut didn't knox
tat"
Women don't keep track oi the laws
asuru do" lac said Personally, I'd
III Ia see take that cat through Ia Do
trO hut there uay bo some ON thus
iral Just mean enough To luiCrm
agAIt YOU aud have you arrested. Ut
. let he uut II | We're yuu.
", will, Tor don't want Ia break
ANY Ia, at my age
She iuhlrd around the basket inr a
minute, aud all ola sudden the cat
| jumped 0,l. She alighted ou the head
ct the INA Who put up the job, gave
him rcNcrl sharp digs, aud then leapcd
u"m one hauuihrT like "A squirrel, hit
INK, spitung,nd Clawiug - she went,
Every hodY r-e up aud yellcd-every-
badly hut the Ia woman She sat like
slaule, airad III being suspected.
When the feline Nad gone the length oi
the cat she tunnel To- an open window
aud shot out like bullet, landing right,
side up and making tracks Tor barn IN
ticld
"Nhu brought that cat aboard! lie.
maud the name al the person Who own.
Ell that eat shouted a nan whose head
had lrli her claws.
Ne unanswered Scve,al passengers
looked straight at the old Noman, who
stood Il ter minute aud thes lifted up
her basket aud called cut
III auVhndy wants To- look au,ng the
dried peaches ia this basket Tor eats he
can du So, yuu ucrdnt all look ut me AZ
1t lived Ia the woods aud diln't keep
posted ~ law
Pa, SAID a six year old Cheruh Ia
his patcrnal ancestor, when lsa loco
motive Ikea rocket
"Hiyc Il up, sonny. (,u tell
"Whcn its tired up" lie was fired
out
some weeks since, while party oI
Detroit surveyors we're running rail
lruad line down IN Indiana the survey
saTTIcd them across "A cemetery. In the
luuTse at the survey n small stake was
driven into a grave, and before II wa
Iemoyed aud carried ahead, = lathy,
lpng legged llonslcr oyerhauled the
hen, peeled oil his coat, aud danced
/ bound ~ hc yelled out
/ "ShuW me the man who dared drive
BAT stake IA that grave
| l"Wc are going Ia remove Il, quietly
. splwd one ul the party.
II don't care II YOU are-shOw me the
IAul'
'WCll, I'm the man, aud what are
va going tu du about IT. said the hlg
u,n of the lot ~ he stepped out.
iDldu't Yea know that was my wlto's
grkc'" asked the lluosIer With a con
sd rabic tall To- his voice.
No, sit
well II is, shiny first Siie's
grA h."
Mud what at that2'
What nl that Why-why, sit, II !
habit married a second one about a
mouth ago aud kinder forgot my gTIei,
Ia nkc that stake aud pm YOU tn the
trurwith Il, It's lucky Tor you tellers
mihty lucky Tor YOU that don't feel
hall ! bal as did."-t ro, Press.
\ trrgymau asked for pass On Que
uf Ihsl Illnuis roads the other iay on the
plea tat he might convert the conduC-
tor tu 'hrlStauItY 81.
Thanew superintendent OF u road up
on whlh numerous removals ri COnduc-
tors h,i been made, being questioned IA
o. the ,Rsun Tor this wholesale decapi-
tatluu, whether or not u Was due to any
thing es, than desire Ia Pl'ce person
al irlttds IA good positions, replied
Well wed their method ot settling with
the company Was not considered alro-
gcther satisfactory. Their cash fares
we're COLLECTED mostly in silver CON.
Alter tral had arrived conductor
would ru iIto coach and toss up the
coins, all tiaI stuck ON the bell cord
they Uturuid Ia the audIior--the rest
they kept. The company couldn't stand
it.'-B.
Nhn theloComotlye runs into herd
at cattH, thee Is generally an addition
Ia the rolling stock on the road Bos-
iJH tuiugrr'iT RilisiH.