Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-08-31
The Wicked Painter.
TA1den in New York Timea


Painting and plumbing are crimes that 60 hand
In hand. The plumber does not necessarily
paint neither does the paluter ordinarily plumb;
but the man who is capable OF the one is always
capable of the other. The qualities that enable
man to follow a successful career of plumbing
are precisely those that would Mt him for paint.
,pg. So close is the relationship between the
two occupations that we often ind a plumber
aSsociaung himself In business " it'll painter,
and brazenly displaying the sign, plumbing,
gash.t1pg and house painting done here" Thus,
while one partner paints the outside OF the
house the other plumbs its intel ior, and between
the two the ruin OF the house owner is made
Compl, te.
The painter resembles the plumber In his
deep-rooted INV lllingneSs to keep his agree
ments. One OF his chief objects IN life is to put
on the hour OF painting until the house owners
sequent indignation deplIves him OF that men,
tai equanlmlty necessary for a successful con-
test with the painters wiles There was, PROF.
ably, never an instance OF painter who painted
house on the day when he had promised to
paint it. He never makes less than three post
poL ements. His excuse for the first of these is
that he is out OF white lead or turpentine, and
has been unable to procure them. The second
poStponement Is made because the painter pro-
fesses to foresee coming shower Of rain
which refuses to come with as much obstfnacy
asit 1t had been propbesied by Prof. Vennor-
and for the painters third failure to appear on
the pl omised day he pleads either an attack OF
him with ladders.
By this time the house owner has become SO
indignant that, when the painter actually
arrives, the latter finds it comparatively EASY
to overthrow the arguments Of the former in
favor OF any particular color. 1t is point OF
nonor with the painters never to let man have
house shall be painted. The housn owner and
his wife may have given much time to the se,ec-
tlon OF nice color for the house and a suitable
two tints before the painter the latter inya
riaoly replies, 90, them colOrs went do at
an, SIR" In vain does the unhappy man
0r16 f1nnf
they Will and must ''do;' the painter bends
plying glance upon him and asserts that he
has no idea how the two tints 10 question " i'll
look when laid on the house. In most cases
his obstinacy overlules the house owner and
the latter is compelled to consent to having his
house painted with colors which he privately
thinks detestable. Sometimes, however, the
painter pretends to acquiesce In his victims
views and the latter 1iatters himself that he has
gained victory. He soon fluids out, when it is
s s0 e tnaC mo m ever YET to
the house owner may have supposed that his
house was to be painted delicate cream color
but he viii fiud that 1t has been painted Indian
red, and that the painter insists that he has
Strictly followed his Instructions, although as
he pretends, it is just possible that the tint has
been mixed trife too warm. What can the
helpless man whose house has been thus I'M
lawfully painted red do with the wretch VINO
calmly insists that Indian red is really
delicate cream color, rendered TITLE too warm
IN the mixing? He may kill the patuter but
unjust laws OF the country will punish him, or
he may at vast exr ense hire another painter
and have his house painted, with results as IN
satisfactory as those which attended his first
effort. If he IS wise man, he simply submits
to the Inevitable, and recognize the fact that
no man can have his house reprinted to suit birn-
self. There is a worthy gentleman residing in a
New jersey suburban town, who for twenty
years has been trying to have his house painted
par ticular shade or brown. During that time
ne faS employ ed four different painterS, and
has had his house painted successfully yellow,
red, green and orange, but never once has been
able by threats OR entreaties to induce painter
TO use the brown paint for which he signs.
1t is, OF course, possible for man to buy his
own paint, thus procuring the precise shade
which he desires, and then to hire painter to
put it on the house. This experiment has been
tIied: out no man, having once tried 1t, ever
tries 1t again; such method of paiating house
should not be attempted by any one whose In
come is less than $4,000 a year. The amount of
paint. turpent1ne, and brushes that the painter
uses Will be found to cost rather more than the
house. No matter II the paint merchant has
made a careful calculation of the quantity
OF paint that Will be sufficient to cover the
house, the painter will demand at least three
times that amount, ard will then ruin
BITS employer In tulpenttne and brushes. More
over, The amount OF paint which the painter
who Is hired by the job. contrtves to spill on
every available spot OF surface where paint is
not desired Is enormous. He never fails to
upset at least two wellfilled paint pots, and
always selects the worst possible localities for
the performance OF this feat. II we add to this
the number Of panes OF glass which the painter
naoCho oul WIN luC Gnu VI LIS lduucT. anu bue
blinds he breaks with the same effective In
strument. it Will be found, on the whole,
cheaper to set the house on fire than to hire
painter to paint 1T with coIors selected and fur
n1shed by the house owner.
In any event, the painter, when he comes to
make out his bill, displays an amount OF I'M
bluShlDg WtckedneSs which the plumber alone
can 1ivaL He charges for his paints, brushes
and turpentlne;. for his time, and for 1.-THE job"
He never takes less than twice the time to paint
house which he originally said would be SUI
fctent, and IL he is lucky enough to be able TO
pretend that sudden shower has spoiled the
paint which he had just laid on, he can pro-
tween the pointer and the plumber there is
little to choose. The latter is, perhaps, little
the holder OF the two, but the for mer accom-
pllshes his criminal purpose With at least equal
success.