The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-07-29
SunbeannS.

Every tramp carries roamin' nose.
A "slight hurt-The "cut" direct.
An unpleasant relation-A carb-uncle.
A naive reply-A tramp's answer fGcoo
Strauss.
The doorhanger is hingenious fellow.
Salem Sunbeam.
Topers generally sing in the whis-key.-
Board of trade-A STORE oounter.-Mara-
ttOn Independent
Bloomington Eye.
It takes q kitten to raise a mew-tiny.-
Stexbeauils Herald.
Aman must be a hardened sinner when
he I" lies" at the point of death.-Norras-
t0soaa Herald.
The Czar shoes his horse with silver, and
the farmers wife shoes her chickens with
an old apron
An apple threw the first man. Since then
il has sOrter let the business out to the ba-
nana.-Dan6u,y Nescs. Ed
A pair of slippers-Two eels. -fAi1a1leI-
DAia SUNDAY Item. pair of brogue AIMS
Ann McGinniss and Ann McCarty.-Bos-
ton Journal Of Commerce.
An Ichthyophagous Club has been started @
in New York. As its name states, 1t Is for
the benefit of printers with but few sorts
in their cases.-N. y. E1wess.
A West Hill man whose wife cleans
house four times q year and sweeps nine
times week, says she is hopelessly afflicted
with chronic broomatism.
3. "Wen, Pat, Jim didn't quite kill you
with the brickbat, did he 2" No, but l
wish he had" "Why SOP" $50 that
could have seen him hung, the villain"
One reason why Leadville has no schools
is because all the schoolma'ams who go there
find husbands between the depot and the
hotel, and don't care whether school keeps
or not. $50 iaG to uE-- tj. 53t'''i' I'm
These are days when the truant school
boy returning from the swim, tells the pater
familias that his shirt got turned wrong side
out while crawling through fence.-K0-
kOmO Tribune.
A heartless, wicked Burlington huckster,
a woman at that, successfully palmed off up
ON young married man, six bantam
roosters, about seven years old, for spring
chickens. Burlington Haackeye.
"There's music in the air." as the man
said when an ACCORDION dend fell out of q
third story window just after he had started
on the thirteenth stanza of the "Swanee
River. r."-KeOkuk Gate city. s
It is said that the male wasp does no,
sting. But as q male and female wasp weal
the same kind of polonaise, and look as much
alike as twins, the only way to distinguish
their sex is to catch one. If it stings, lit is q
female; if not it is o gentleman wasp.
He had one son hanged another in the
San Quentian penitentiary, and his wife had
eloped with chrome peddler. Have you
YOU any family ? /" he was asked by fellow
passenger. g None to speak Of" was the
prompt retort. itornia Wasp. $3.50
"Do you think man can. run circus
and be Christian 2" asked serious man.
"Well, don't know-yes." ''Do you think
Barnuu, for instance, can go to heaven?
IL think he has good show" was the
rather equivOcal reply. Strange that some
men can never be serious.-BOstOn Tran
script fsA+3 7'''
The story is told of prominent actress
that on going to the theatre one morning
for rehearsal she remembered that she had
left $50, 900 under the pillow of her bed al
the hotel. A great piece of carelessness.
Our wife never goes out and leaves $50, ,OOO
under the pillow of her bed. Never.-N0r-
Tist0son Herald.
A young lady at ball was asked by q
lover of serious poetry whether she lI.,
seen /" "Crabbe's Tales" Why, no." she
answered, 8. didn't know that crabs hau
tails" . beg your pardon" he said ~
mean have you read, Crabbe's Tales? ;
/ -And I assure you, sir, 1 did not know
that red crabs, or any other kind, hao
tails" .t.tf ..r+--s t.t
The gentleman who had been off for 6
fishing excursion and sent a paragraph to b
local paper, saying that g Mr.. Jones has SEN
home a fine mess of 'speckled beauties, ,
could not account for the warm reception.
from his wife, until he read that :. Mr..
Jones had been fined and sent home for =
mess with some freckled beauties" and thel
he went for the newspaper man with rod
When you go to Europe and travel three
months, Europe poorer man when you come
home. (After reading the foregoing terri
BILE pun, you may be undecided whether t.
Liverpool your issues and die. Morris.
toson Herdld. No wonder you feel all Lon
don after making such an efOrt.-LtOnlt
Sentinel Vienna one could made a better
pun than that.-Cdmden Journal. Genoa
Of any one who can Rome Sentinel.
WHAT" the young man asked the young
woman who was waiting for him to ask for
his hat, "what do put you in mind of ?"
"a French clock" she said softly. And
pretty soon he arose and went ON his way
The next morning he called upon an emf
nent horologist and asked him what was the
distinguishing trait of French clock. The
horologist said, "Why, it never goes"
And the young man was sorely cast down,
aud he grieved, and told no man of his hurt.
''You army chap, said the girl to her mill
tary lover.-BdngOr Commercial. ''That's
where you soldier sell" he wrote back when
he eloped with another girl.-Ottatca Repu6-
Hcan. This may be trooper haps. Hussar
for the other girl !-B0stOn Post. Some
militias mischief at the bottom of it, no
doubt. PHILADELPHIA Bulletin. It's the
regular thing of corps for a fellow to keep
company with one girL-Post. When our
to the poor girl, g What major say anything
about it p" We would give an order to stop
all further punning in this direction, if We
thought there was any chance of paragraph
ers bsyonet-Bost0n Saturday E0ening
Gazette. This has big gun to experience
quite q boom. It's astonishing howitzer go
ing the rounds. We could not help but
picket up.-Boston Journal Of Commerce.
It's mortar flying to think that paragraphers
cannon dertake to perpetrate such stuff.
Shoot the ensign of forever Baltimore
Epeyy Saturday. You musket sight at the
charge he took to heart before you can re-
volv her.-BlOOmingto Eye.
TOO MITCH FAITH