The Douglas independent. [volume] (Roseburg, Or.) 187?-1885, 1880-10-30
sHoRF BITS.
The great American desert-Pie.

sity.
rTis very easy to recover On old um-
brella.
He who does a good deed makes hea-
ven his debtor.
A thoroughly good man is invariably
o brave one.
Good breeding is letter of credit all
over the world.
No man is envious of what he can
equal, or even initiate.
There is arrest for the wicked, as well
as rest for the saint.
Lies go by telegraph; the truth comes
IN by mail three hours late.
In 800 years FIVE Sundays in February
can only occur nine times.
Motherly wisdom-Stick to your fan
nels until they stick to You.
How long does widower mourn for
his wife? For second.
Tranps are gorgeous when they sit
down to well-flled table.
The man who lives for others must
expect most of his pay in self-satisfae-
tion.
How many young men there are who,
like corn, turn white when they pop.
Pride in O woman destroys all symme-
try and shape-of mans pocket-book.
If you would be wealthy get upon a
mule. You will soon find that you are
better of.
In matters of prudence last thoughts
are best; in morality, your first thoughts
are best.
Gardeners nine times out of time mar
ry widows. They seem to have passion
for eradicating weeds.
"None of your jaw is what the bath
or said when the shark tried to scrape an
acquaintance with him.
The conservatism of most people is
nothing more than radicalism gone to
seed.
The man who can distinguish be-
tween good advice and poor does not
need either.
The man who is ready to take the
chances will very probably take his last
one in the almshouse.
man of true genius is generally as
simple as child, and as unconscious of
his power as an infant.
| Bigotry knows of but one way to
reach heaven, while faith knowns of q
| hundred.
! 1t is we'll to give heed to your doubts
for they are very often the dawnings of
truth.
| Man is a two-legged eccentric animal
that deals in politics.
1t is much more difficult for man to
make circumstance than it is for cir
| eumstance to make man.
1t requires wisdom to be able, and it
requires an honesty to be willing, to call
things by their right names.
Man is the only creature that laughs ;
| angels do not, animals can not, and dew
lis will not
A Cincinnati dyer recently went in
sane from political excitement. We
suppose the more he read the madder
he got.
New Orleans Picayune Burglars
never wait for an opening in their busi-
ness. They go to work at once and make
an opening.
A little girl, noticing the glittering gold
filling in her aunt's front teeth, exclaim
ed: Aunt Mary, wish 1 had copper
toCu peCtn iiho yOufs
A school boy in Detroit who was re-
quested to write down as many saints as
he could think of, could only remember
two.
There is not the least flower but seems
to hold up its head, and look pleasantly
in the secret sense of the goodness of its
almighty maker.
''How shall we get the young men to
go to church," is the title of an article in
a religious paper. Get the girls to go,
my sainted brother; get the girls to go to
church.
The worst SANDER often has it in some
truth from which we learn a lesson that
may make us wiser, and if we will be,
better, when the first smart .of it il
over.
He that repents every day for the sins
of every day, when he comes to die will
have the sin but of one day to repent
of. Even reckoning make the longest
friends.
It's poor rule that won't work both
ways. A Milwaukee girl married bar
Der and he turned out to be a rich baron
in disguise.
Two more excursion boat accidents in
the East river. The steamboat men have
evidently been studying the problem
what to 60 with the surplus population
of our city.-lPuck.
Professor Huxley alludes to corolli
floral dicotyledonous oxoeen, with O
monopetalous corolla and a central pla.
centation; but he doesn't say whether its
bite is fatal or not. 1t will probably
travel with Barnum's show next season
and have its name on q six sheet poster
Il Norristown Herald.
eff you was man, Jimmy said O
little shaver to his chum, "who would
you vote for, Hancock or Garfield p
I'D go with the biggest procession, you
bet. New Haven Register. That boy
will probably grow up to be the editor
Of an independent paper Philadelphia
News.
ST don't think like these mosquitor-
ing Places said Job Shuttle, as he gazed
long and mournfully at his face as re.
hected by the mirror. II declare, ]
never met SO many bills in one night be-
fore. Honored every one of 'em with q
draft, too. Blood money, by iingo."
The boy was still through the long
day. He made no harsh, discordant out
cries; he tore not around the rooms; he
jumped over no tables nor tipped over
no chairs; he stood not on his head nor
turned somersaults against the door. No,
he was perfectly quiet, still. He was
dead
A hotel is to be built at Quebec on the
spot whore Montgomery fell when lead
ing the charge of the American troops on
the citadel in 1775. There will probably
be charges made on that spot which for
recklessness will throw that of Montgom-
cry entirely into the shade and, as before,
the Americans will be the sufferers.
Just as the visitors in the country and
at the seaside get fairly used to washing
their faces in tin basin of water and
wiping them on very familiar towel, il
is time to pack up and go home where
the comforts of life are abundant. The
season isn't quite long enough to permit
of having real good time.
A baekwoods preacher once elucidated
as follows in connection with the parable
of the virgins: "In ancient times, my
beloved hearers, it was the custom, after
a couple had been married, for ten vir-
gins to go out with lighted lamps and