Smyrna times. [volume] (Smyrna, Del.) 1854-1987, 1880-01-21
The Brakeman at Church.
WHAT HE THOUGHT or THE DENOMINATIONS.

the cross passenger sound asleep and the
tall, thin passenger reading General
Grants Tour Around the World" and won
derlng why Greens August Flower
should be printed above the doors of " 4
Buddhist Temple at Benares" To me
Comes the brakeman, and seating himself
on the arm of the seat, says:
g went to church yesterday
"Yes?' | said, with that Interested inhsc-
ton that asks for more And what
church did you attend?'
" Which do you guess" he asked.
Some union mission church." ] haZ-
arded.
Naw," he said I" don't like to run on
these branch roads very much. don't
often 90 to church, and when do, | want
to run on the main line, where your lun :
regular and You go on schedule time and
don have to wait on connections. don't
like to run on a branch. Good enough, but
| don't like it,"
"Episcopal?3 | guessed.
Limited express" he said, all palace
cars and two dollars extra fof a seat, fast
time and only stop at the big stations. Nice
line, but to exhaustive for a brakeman.
All train men in uniform, conductors
punch and lantern silver plated, and no
train boys allowed Then the passengers
are allowed to talk back at the conductor,
and it makes them to frae and easy. 30,
| couldn' stand the palace cars Rich road
though. Don't often hear Gf receiver
being appointed for that line. Some mighty
nice people travel on it, too
" UniversaliSt?' suggested.
" Broad gauge" sad the brakeman:
"does too much complimentary business
Everybody travels on a pass. Conductor
doesn't get fare once in fifty miles Stops
at all flag stations and won't run into any.
thing but union depot. No Stacking car
on the train. Train orders are rather vague
though, and the train men don't get along
we'll with the passengers. No, don't 20
to the Universalist, though / know some
awfully good men who run on that road
"Preshy terian?' asked.
" Marrow gauge, ell ?" said the brakeman.
"pretty track, straight as Il rule; tunnel
right through a mountain rather than 20
around it; spirit-level grade; passengers
have to show their ticket before they get
on the train. Mighty s;rct cad, hut the
cars are little narrow; have to III one in
seat and no reom in the aisle 10 dance
Then there is no Stop-ovsr tickets allowed
got to go straight tArou2h to the station
YOU'RE ticksted for or you cant get on at
hti' " iiVii NV C'ti luIi iio FNtid ttdcitt5
cars built ut the shops to hold Just 50 many
and nobody else allowed on. But you don I
often lear Of an accident on that road. IT.,
run right up to the rules.
Maybe you Joined the Free Thnkers?"
said.
"Scrub road, said the b.eak man, " dirt
road bed and no ballast; no time card and
no train dispatcher. All trains run wild,
and every engineer makes his own time,
just AS he pleases. Smoke if YOU want to
kind Of a go-as. you please road. Too MANY
side tracks, and every switch wide open all
the time, with tho swltchman sound asleep
and the target-lamp dead cut. Get on AS
you please and get off when you want to.
Don't have to show your tickets. and the
conductor isn't expected to do Anything
but amuse the passengers. No, sir. was
offered pass, but don't like the line.
don't like to travel on a road that has no
terminus. Do you know, sir, | asked a
division superintendent where that road
run to and he said he hoped to die if he
knew. | asked him if the general superin.
tendent could tell rae, and b. said he didn't
believe they had general superintendent,
and if they had, he didA't know anything
more about the road than the passengers
/ asked him who he reported to, and lie
said nobody. | asked a conductor who he
got his orders from, and he ssid he didn't
take orders from any living man or dead
ghost. And when | asked the engineer
who he got his orders from, he said he'd
like to see anybody give him orders: he'd
run that train to suit himself, or he'd run
it into the ditch. Now You see, sir, I'm
railroad man, and don't care to run on a
road that has no time, makes no connec-
finnc l,
dent. 1t may be all right, but I've rail
roadsd too long to understand it"
"Maybe you went to the Congregational
church? ~ | said.
Popular road, said the breakman can
old road, too-one Of the very oldest in this
country. Good road.bed and comfortable
cars. Well managed road, too; directors
don't interfere with division superintend.
ents and train orders. Reads mighty pop.
ular, but it's pretty independent, too. Yes.
didn't one OF the division slperintendents
down east discontinue one o. the oldest sta.
tons ON this line two or three years ago?
But it's a mighty pleasant road to travel on
Always has such splendid class of passen.
gers"
Did you try the Methodist?" | said.
"Now you're shouting" he said, with
some enthusiasm Nice road, eh? Fast
time and plenty of passengers. Engines
carry power of steam, and don't you forget
it; steam gauge shows huRdred and
enough all the time. Lively road when
the conductor shouts 'all aboard you can
hear him to the next station. Every train
light shines like headlight. Stop.over
checks are given on all through tickets
passenger can drop off the train as often as
ba Lilies do tho CtofiOp fbpaa .{ox,,
and hop on the next revival train that
comes laundering along Good, whole
souled compsniOnable conductors; amt
road in the country where the passengers
feel moro at home. No passes every pas
ssnger pays full traffic rates for his ticket
WesoyanhOuse air brake on all trains, too
pretty safe road, but | didn't ride over il
yesterday"
Perhaps you tried the Baptist?" |
guessed once more.
"Ah, hal y said the brakeman, "sbes
daisy, isn't she? River road; beautiful
curves; sweep around anything to keen
close to the river, but it's all steel rail and
rock ballast, single track all the way and
not side track from the round house to
the terminus. Takes a heap of water to
run it through, double tanks at everv sta
tion, and there isn't an engine in the shopS
that can pull pound or run a mile with
less than two gauges. But il runs through
a lovely country; these river roads always
dol river ON one side and hills on the other,
and it's a steady climb up the grade all the
way till the run ends where the fountainhsad
of the river begins. Yes, sir, I'll take the
river road every time for a lovely trip, sure
connections and good time, and no prairie
dust blowing in at the windows. And yes
tsrday when the conductor came around
for the tickets with little basket punch,
didn't ask him to pass me, but paid nay
fare like little man-twenty.fiv cents for
an hours run and little concert by the
passengers thTOwed in. tell YOU, Pilgrim,