The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-03-27
VARIETY.

Trying 10 do business without advertising is
like wiuking at a girl in the dark. You may
know what you are doing. but nobody else does
Professor Ruskin iz about to follow Professor
HuxIey's example and give lecture on Snakes
nt the London Institute. This Is the hrst intIma-
ton that Mr. Ruskin has had EN- again.
washerwoman, a regular and attentive lis
tener at church, vas commended by her pastor.
Yes" she said :. after my hard weeks work is
DONE / git so rested TO come TO church, and sit
and think about nOthin -
Ii Is 50 in politics, business and everywhere
else in life. The man whom you boost up the
tree not only forgets to toss you down some Of the
fruit, but is likely not to pet you with the
chawings.
How sublimely Indifferent to the sweet remarks
OF his beloved feminine companion is the man
whose collar has become unbnttoned at the back
of his neck, and who tries to rebutton 1t as be
walks along
A thing Of beauty is jawer for ever" re-
marked - avenue husband as he rolled over
on the other side after protracted curtain lee
ture from his pretty wife
Advice TO bachelors Never marry a woman
unless she is so rich that you would marry her If
she were ugly, and 80 handsome that you would
marry her IT she were poor
II a man is dissipated, it s true that he will
not live out half his days, but then young Keep
itup saws he lives out about twO-thirds Of his
nights and that makes good average.
A man has been arrested in Denver for robbing
n hotel clerk, and it is believed TO be the first in
stance Of anybody getting ahead of one Of those
jeweled bandits.
MAY BE.-The woman who is very sweet to
ones face and is very bitter behind ones back,
may be said to bear false sweetness against her
neighbOr.
Professor Proctor says the earth is 500 900 900
wears old. And We believe him. Almost every
day we come across joke that Is every whit as
venerable as that.
When a young man goes out between the acts
at the theatre now, they say he has gone to see
his aunts.-stimul ants.
Greece has lost her most ancient Athenian, at
the age OF I3O. He never took medicine until be
was l29-
There's plenty OF the milk Of human kindness
about. The worst Of It - 50 much Of it is sour.
VERY SLIGHT.-The difference between barber
and a sculptor - very slight The one eurls up
and dyes, the other makes faces and busts-
dyeiHg. Egypt. dyeing.
But the bald spot - big
That it's useless longer trying.
And I'll yield and wear wig.-cSa. SaT
Sin always begins with pleasure and ends with
bitterness. IL - like colt which the little boy
said was very tame in front and very wild behind.
President Hayes is said 90 have been arrested
bv one Of the Capitol police, who did not know
him because he eat in seat set apart for ladies
in the rotunda- W hen the Othcer discovered MS
mistake, and apolOgized, the President said:
'sThat is all night suppose you were csrrying
out orders
The sun goes mp and the sun goes down,
And hundred jokes are the same as one;
The paragraph hend and the circus clown
Sigh FOR find OF new-laid fun
oh. little reck Of the mOOnlit gate,
OF the apple green and the noisome dun;
For the hours ay by while the printers wait,
And a hundred Jokes are the same as one.
And what is IT all when ali Is donesA
joke IL the in a thousand elimes:
Here. fill up my column with reckless fun
Set up this joke hundred times
--B,rffagtoH HaIrtsys