Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1880-06-11
NC. "A.
Col. lngerSoll. the lnndcl.
perk,s Snll.

was III darkened condition, and
superstition hroodcd over the world
shutting out the sunlight Of reason,
and men bowed down before craven
images. But it is different now,
Christianity has broken the ice,
causing men to be gentle instead of
savage, and giving them n chance
to learn the sciences, until now
some of them arc So smart they are
able to show that christianity is n
fraud, They are able to show this
to their own satisfaction, and people
pay halfa dollar to SO into their
lectures and see the monstrosity
exhibit himsclfin his cage, Dugng
the past two hundred years there
have been born in the United
States two children without brains,
and during the same tune there
have been two inidels--fhomas
Paine, who believed there was no
God and that George Washington
was Il scromdrel, and Bob, lngcr-
soil, who believes there is no God
and that twenty thousand dollars
year is good enough for him. But
MIR, lngcrsoll is really u remarkable
man. BY the constant labor of
hundreds Of thousands Of earnest
christians for the past two thous.
and years, Mr. lngcrsoll has been
enablcd to become 50 Intelligent
that he can look out upon tho earth,
the sun, and the whole planetary
systom moving around IN regular
order, and point out just whero the
Creator made II botch of il, because
He did not hayo The benefit nj that
early day Of Mr.. mgersoll's advice
about tho matter Mr. lngersoll is
able to look upon the growing
grain. and all the growing garden
truck, fruits, fish and flesh, that ~
to uourish and sustain the life OF
man, and he sces what happy
combination of sunshine and rain
has been provided to bring it NIL to
maturity-md yet he, this smart,
shrewd man, Bob lngersoll, who
can see M clenr MS daylight thnt
{ there is no God, is OF tho opinion
. that the whole thing happened TO
como in just this kind of n shape.
If lngcrsoll had had the job he
a would have made Fall come in the
t Spring, SO that farmers could have
reaped thein grain just before they
sowed ii. He would also have
made only about two hours Of day.
, light, 50 that by the time u man
, got dressed in tho morning supper
would be ready, and he would hnye
, barely time to drink his tea and
slip back to bed, and just as he be-
gun TO get into doae the goLg
} would sound for breakfast again.
Mr., lngersoll would have mado
, these short days for the men who
lend money on note, md he
would then have had Il day ninety
six hours long for the men who
DuIlbN llbllNNs
, OF course this would have noces-
sitatod two worlds--one little world,
whirling for the money lender, and
the big world of ninety-six hours
in n day, whirling very slow, for the
mnn who borrowed the money, TO
live in, and for men who had re-
tired rich from the little world and
desired TO live 10 good old age.
Of course this scheme does not look
us though il would work, but when
il il remembered what a smart man
Mr.. lngersoll is, and how no is able
70 point out the most laughable
| blunders of tho Creator, no one will
doubt for n moment that he could
do il and more too. Mr.. lngersoll,
also, would have made the world
flat instead Of round, and had all
the rivers run up stream, 80 that
the sewerage Of large cities would
have drained better, and he would
have provided q shade TO slip over
the gun on hot days 10 prevent peo-
pie from being sunstruck, and
small sized sun, for winter use---a
little one for a cent--to tighten up
the gloom on cold days in winter.
II is too bad that all these 'things
were left 70 chance, or To "science."
As il is now people live in constant
fear that something will get out Of
gear, 50 that everybody will get
burned up in the summer. Or froze
10 death in the winter. But this
Is only what il 70 be expected from
leaving the thing TO the Creator
instead Of Bob. Ingersoll. But the
blame for all this really belongs to
the Chsistians. They ought to
have educated the human race up
TO its present high standard six
thousand years ago, 80 that Mr..
Ingersoll could have been evolved
at that time and had a hand In the
work Of creation. He could have
bossed the job, and told the Creator