Daily Republican., 1880-04-22
HUnoROUs.

d. pen In hand rings the door bell. Your
lady appears at the door.
Census Enumerator Good mornip
IN Lovely morning. I'm taking the WI
sus. You we're born 7"
~ Young lady-"Yss'm."
"Your name, pleasef What prett
dust cap You have on. Can l get II
u pattern It's just like the ene IL
:. lady in the next house has.
l. II haven't the pattern. Don't 20
get awful tired walking round takin
the oensusi"
"0h, yes, It's wearisome, bat piel
up a great deal Of information. He.
. nice your dinner smells cooking. Pluu
puddingf"
"No, haven't plum pudding to. day
: I'm looking for . new recipe"
! "I've got one took down from ,
lady's cook book across the way. Ar.
Iyou married ?"
| "No. Want an Invitation to the
wedding, don't you II will bs long
time before you get il. YCu can kesu
yOrr plum pudding recipe, thank you. -
II should think II would be some
time. Have you chill 0, Of course,
forgot. This hall carpet is Just the
pattern Of Aunt Prudy's. She has
had It more than twenty years. How
many are there In the family 7"
"lf this hall carpet don't sui. ysu.
you can get of of It and 50 about your
censusing."
"Well, you're an impudent Jade, any
how. Yop haven't told me when you
were born, or what'a your name, or
when you expect to get married, and
there's ten dollars lne for not answer
ing census takers QUESTION:, and II ! |
vas you, wouldn't be seen at the door |
In such slouohy dress, SO there"
'Oh, you hateful thing. You can ius, |
go away. III pay ten dollars inst 10
get rid Of you, and smile doing il. H's
none Of your business, nor the cen
SUISSE either. No, it isn't. You can
keep your pattern and your plum pud-
ding and your saucy, impudent ques-
tions TO youFself-I-I--"
"Good morning. must be getting
on. | haven't done but three families
Ill the forenoon" and an snersetici
bang Of the door just missed catching q I
DOT of her trailing dress skirts. Il
Hg Was Rrr ovsR.--A man who had
his coat Oh his arm and his hat in his
iand, yeatarday, entered \ butcher
hop on Woodward avenue aud be-
an: IA
"Say, sir, one Of your Internal carts
tnooksd me down on Park stree. halfI
N hour ago, and I'm going to have
abstraction -
"one Of my carts Oh, guess not
William William /"
William made his appearance from
he little back room, and tho luscher
aid
'Wil!ism, this man accuses you of
mining him down with the cart this
forming on Park street"
~ don't think it," was the reply oil
lillian.
"Well, l know il !" shouted the man
he throw down his hat.
'Whereab0uts on Park 7"
"At the corner of High -
"Ah! then, 1t couldn't have teen,' -
I'D the driver. "Hsrs Is the ronte III 4
ok: first went mp Woodward avenue 4
Id ran ovor boy at the corner of Al
ed street. Then went down Char Y
tie and took wheel Of a carriage.
'Vn at the corner OF Cass run down
boy and a velocipede. came down
'ss to sproat, and out again to Wosd-
ard, where expfc ct ran over two
'rnen and horse, and then came di.
lily here. 1t couldn't have been me
-
'TheL who was ~"
Indeed, | couldn't say, sir, bat
doors above this is butcher who
three carts. If it was him he'll
n right mp and be glad 10 see ysu.
he's keeping q record Of the killed -
wounded to show of TO the rest ~
is. You'd better try him, siY."-De-
i Free Press.
n Intelligent Chinese merchant In
country ssye : "Fnere Is 10 such
ling as courting among young peo-
10 China. The bride and bridegroom
er see each other until they are to ~
'1nc man and wife. Their courting Oi
II done by their parents" That l.
e young heather don't smigrate TO
home Of the free and land of the
Fe Is marvel. II is better to be a A.
snt than lover in china. How in Ffll
world do the young people kill
OIL Sunday night ! American lov
cannot bs too thankful that they Pal
, not born in China.
womsn's journal says Miss Gsbri-
T. Stiokney, for a number Of years
'mpositor in the Chicago Legal
8" Office, ''has secured the appoint Nh
Of notary public, and now DOES sS"
Of The swearing for the village Of 421u
1er, Kansas" II the lady Is as
d In profane history as some male -
'ositors, she raight include the ad-
ng coanty in her swearing tori. =,
without feeling overworked.-Nor. ~
Wn Herald"
g Little Buttereup" OF q Pima Olll
'roupe was married recently to the
lger Of Haverly's Chicago Theatre.
uture hsppiness Of the couple was
ted by the receipt Of this telegram
an alleged friend in St. Louis 81
you grow old together, and life u.,
naught butter cup Of bliss" same me-
onght to BE- Law enacted pun
& the perpetrater of suck an out Y
with not leDs than one hundred
imprisonment. Mn
, Nav Jersey State Library has,
gh the efforts of Governor McClel- -
,eeD enlArpa6 bv thu nrr.hora M