The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-10-02
THIS AND THAT.


When does horse enjoy his food most I
When he hasn't bit in his mouth.
Blossoms produce apples, apples give US
cider, and cider produces blossoms. Thus
one of natures most beautiful compenss-
tions.
-"och," said lovesick Trishman, "what
a sensation it is to be dying of love. It sets
the heart aching 50 delicately there's no
taking wink of sleep for the pleasure Of
the pain
The other day an excited individual ac-
costed a street gamin with tine question,
"say, bub, which is the quickest way for
me to get to the railroad depot2" "Ruup'
was the response.
Native to stranger: 1--WE have always
an east wind in Galveston" "But see the
wind right now is from the west" ooh,
that's the east wind coming back, you know"
"Ah!'
"A distinguished man once wrote TO his
newspaper. "Renew my name this year
send me your paper as long as live, and il
you can send after me in the next world do
So" They say this man lived to a very old
age.
The Detroit Free Press says that "all this
talk about Sarah Bernhardt's thinness is fol.
de-rol. She weight llO pounds in her stock
ing feet. and that's good 'nuf for anybody.
You can easily figure the strain on a mans
knee"
"A Texas clergyman, about to become
chaplain of a penitentiary, preached fare
well sermon to his congregation, who had
illtreated him, from the following text: "I
go to prepare place for you, so that where
| am ye may be also"
Saxon sportsman: "What are those con.
stables doing there, Tim2" Irish game
keeper "shure they'r watchin' Pat Norton,
sorr!" Saxon sportsman: "What for? WHAT'S
be been doing7" Tim: "och Begoor' he's
paid his rint, sorrl /"
"A San Francisco judge sentenced a boy
to fifteen years IN State prison for stealing
some cigarettes from a depot stand, and
passed a sentence of six years on prisoner
who pleaded guilty to having killed man,
The law permitted of this, as the theft was
technically second offence, while the mur.
derer, who was man of education, had
never killed man before, and had money
enough to keep himself in cigars.
Scene in a government Office in Wash.
ington as reported by the Pest; Enter Re
publican assessor-"Ladies, suppose you
would like to give something toward tho
election of General Garfield? / thought I
would not slight you" First Republican
lady-"CertaiDlyi here's dollar I'm sorry
l cannot give more" First Southern LADY,
"Well here's dolla-. ought not 10 give
any more if you don't" Second Southern
lady-"I have just bought soft she'll crab;
can't afford to buy President to.dayl Be-
sides, like Haneock-he's the prettiestt'
The Buffalo Express deliveries the fol.
lowing moral lecture; every man who
expects to get fortune without earning 1t
grumbles at the bad Luck which persistentiy
follows some people, while the man who
works hard and saves a little every ysaS
makes his own good luck and enjoys it,"
To this the New York Commercial Adver.
tiser flies the following bill Of exceptions
"All true, and yet when the savings bank
busts up, and the cashier has gone to dance
the can-can at the Sardine Mabille, little
grumbling does the hsrd-working fellow an
awful sight of good"
Breaking the Sabbath; The Rev. Mr..
Genuaux fell down stairs last Sunday morn.
ing, with a flower vase in one hand, a
pitcher of wafer in the other, lamp globe
under his arm and a china saucer tucked in
his coat pocket He was trying to carry all
these things down stairs and he succeeded.
But when be got them to the bottom and
his anxious wife screamed from the head of
the stairs to know If he had broken any.
thing, be took an account Of stock, aud
calmly reported that "he had broken eyey-
thing but the Sabbath" "The only thing"
Petulantly commented his careful and
economical wife, "that we could afford to
/ break"
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