Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1880-03-17

such realistic results nad Dceu cAPSNs
ed. viii, being a good-natured' gener-
Gus fellow, salved his conscience by CIV
ing peaunlary aid In several instances
where investigation proved that aid was
needed.
While glancing over the second batch
Of letters, Will suddenly cried out:
by George! here's prize, and a
Jolly one, too, after this alternate mass
Of slush and sorrow just listen to it,
will you, and bear IN mind it's my boo
ty, as 1 made the find
lie then reads as follows:
MILWAUKEE, WIS, March, IS.
Mr.. EDWARD CLARKE ????-I be-
lieye YOU'RE a real humbug, Ned, and
that you're not Ned at all, nor Wild
over, nor anything else stated in that
personal. After carefully studying your
little romance, l have made up my mind
that YOU are one Of two evils h; either
designing wretch Of man, who wishes
to laugh at and expose the follies Of
silly womanhood, or else, and that's a
great deal worse, a scandal-loying fe-
male who would tickle her gossipy pal
ate with the discovered weaknesses of
her own sex. If you are the latter, l
desplse you. for 1 can't get any fun out
of a Irritation with a woman but il you
are the former, I'll excuse your enormi-
ties if You'll only make yourself anus
lnr. What you are time may discover {;
what am you shall now hear. In the
first place-you men always take that
into first nsideration-Pm a decided
brunette and better looking than the
average woman, at least. so my friends
and my glass tell me. 1 am in my
nineteenth year; TO be exact, was eigh
teen last January, and am not the least
bit sentimental, but full of mischief as
any poor cooped-up glrl you eyer saw.
Now isn't it a shame Pm not out OF
boording-school yet land that's the rea-
SON YOU get this letter ; for Pm older
than most Of the other girls, and feel
like doing something that isn't real bad.
YOU know, but that's just little rest.
less. and they'll think it's awfully wick
ed when they find out that pm corre-
sponding with man l don't know.
If you are woman-but don't think
anv woman could have published such
a thing, so we'll pretend you are not a
woman-if you are a man, then, and
put that piece in the paper Just Tor
iark-isR't that an awful word for me
10 use why l will promise 10 answer
your letters so long as they are pleas
ant and polite ; for you must not think
| am not lady because l have written
this letter. OF course, l have no idea
ofmarrving anybody, and especially not
YOU. for am rather fond Of somebody
else and he likes me, at least he sends
me boxes of candy and tic sweetest
flowers but Pm tired Of this poky lie
and need some sort of a tonic. Ii you
wish you can write 10
Yours, suspiciously,
JOSIE MASON,
Box, Milwaukee, Wis.
p. S.-This isn't my real name. you
sec. any more than yours is Edward
Clarke but it is the only name you
must know me by. And II by any
chance your advertisement should be 10
earnest, l should be dreadfully serry to
have written to you in this way, but I'm
sure that in that case you'll forgive
harmless joke from a young girl who has
scarcely any amusements.
That girls a little trump said WILL
when he had finished reading the letter
and I'm Just the boy to help her drive
the blues away. You can have all the
rest OF the letters, but this one drops to
ny ink
1t struck me that there might be more
fun in this correspondence than in any
of the others that offered, so l mildly
suggested the improperly aud possible
risk Of opistolary ventures on The part
of a married man. Ny friend detected
the motive, however, and laugbingly
remarked that a man engaged would run
more danger than a man married ; so
he stuck to his prize, and then aud there
answered it IN a bright and sparkling
letter. which overlowed with fun. and
vet bore marks Of prudence and OF re-
spect for the young lady. In it he ac-
knowledced the falslty of that personal,
and declared that his object was gained
in securing so jovial, and probably so
pretty a correspondent, vowed that he
would write to none Of the other DAM
sells who had answered the matrimonial
card, and promised, on all the honor an
unknown man could possess, that he
would make no attempt 10 discover the
identity of Josie Mason He took
precious good pains, the scamp, not to
say anything about his membranes,
and cheeriully avoided touching upon
his personal affairs.
A yoluminous correspondence ensucd
between these two lunatics, 10 which |
was party, in so far that Will always
read me the letters from both Sides
After some months Of this sort OF thing
had passed, noticed, and remarked the
fact to him, that Josie's style had great
Ily changed since her first letter; she
was less fippant, and evidently strove
to anpear more womanly. 1t could also
be seen that she regretted her mention
of the young man Of flowers and candy
boxes, for several times she hintcd thai
she invented that sweet-gifted youth as
a convincing argument to the unknown
correspondent that she was In search o.
amusement, not Of husband. Hel
pho tograph sent about this time showed
very pretty and rather intellectual
face, and in return Fowler enclosed the
likeness Of a good~looking Eastern
friend of his. About this time agair
urged upon him the propriety OF stop
ping a correspondence which could afford
HIM but little more pleasure, and which
;tt Iood 10 disooreeahle results hint