The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-05-28
PITH AND POINT.

A DANGEROUS man-One who takes life
cheerfully.
AMONG the recognized small vices are
Vice Presidents.
! NOTHING is wholly bad. Even dark
lantern has its bright side.
''SMInEs may end in tears" SAYS a
solemn-looking person. Of course, and
tears may end in smiles.
NEVER Jump at conclusion. It's as
bad as jumping out of bed and landing
on the little end Of a tack
The hired girl who was called ND at
o'clock in the morning, thinks arose
two hours later would sound quite as
sweet.
ANOTHER composer has produced a
''waltz (for one fnger)," which, to say
the least, must be very sick sort of
waltzing.
A MICHIGAN Congressman told friend
that he was filled with amazement; and
his friend went down to the bar and
called for amazement.
The exasperated owner of corner
store iii Augusta, Me-, has put up a sign
reading: Wanted, the ten LATEST men
/ In town-to loaf on this corner"
WHEN his cousin, Charlotte Dunno,
was married, Jones said, SO It was Dunno
before it was begun, Dunno while it was
being done, and not Dunno when it was
done"
A New JERSEY colored man, whose
| wife had left him. said F'She would
come back, if [ frowed her some sugar;
but [ amt frowin' no sugar, do you
heah ?"
A LADY tells something that ought to
have remained a secret with her sex.
1t is that a woman, in choosing her lover,
considers a good deal more how the man
will be regarded by other women than
whether she loves him herself
WHEN old Mr.. Higginsworth was asked
if he took a newspaper he replied that
"since our member Of Congress stopped
sending me the Congressional Record [
don't take any; but [ guess kin git
along without it. It never gives much
news, anyhow.
The members of young ladies' de-
batting society in Troy have decided in
favor of long courtship. Level-headed
girls. Observation has taught them that
there is wonderful falling-off of confec-
tions, balls, carriage-rides and opera
when courtship ends and the stern reali-
tiles of married life begin.
TENDER wife-' Say, look here! I've
got to have a new velvet skirt right off.
Got to have it. This old thing is all
worn actually threadbare down the
front" Brute of hrlsband-'' just the
thing, my dear. All the rage. Fashion
item says velvet skirts will be very much
worn this season. Sand paper the back
of your dress, and you're setting the
style"
"OH, I can't shoot, can't To-" he said,
when twitted about his archery. "Give
me that bow, he added, snatching it out
of Julia's hand. CHOW" he added,
striking an attitude, "show me some
thing you want popped, what is it?"
eyes, % said Julia's friend, that's the
question" You hateful thing" said
Julia, with an Italian-sunset face, sit
amt neither. I'll never speak to you
again. But doubtless the innocent
blunder of Julia's friend will have its eff
feet.
"WE11, Father Brown, how did you
like my sermon yesterday" asked a
young preacher. eye see, parson, was
the reply, 81 haven't fair chance at
them sermons of yours. I'm an old man
now, and have to set pretty well back by
the stove; and there's old Miss Smithe,
Widder Taft, n Mrs. Rylan's darters, n
Nabby Brit, n all the rest, setting in
front of me with their mouths wide open,
a swallerin' down all the best of the ser
mon; n what gets down to me is putty
poor stuff, parson, putty poor stuff.
EMM1E was sent to the grocer's for a
pound of mild cheese. In few min
utes she returned, crying as if her heart
would break. "What is the matter, my
dear?" asked her mother somewhat
alarmed. 81 don't care-they are real
mean,'' she answered. Who?"
"Why, all of them they all laughed
at me the clerks and every
body" Laughed at you, my child;
why, what did you ask for?" 81
asked for pound of calm cheese" she
said. between her sobs. The fact was
that Emmie had learned that day at
school that "mild meant " calm" and
the first chance she got she used the new
word.
A Misery Senator.