The Pulaski citizen. [volume] (Pulaski, Tenn.) 1866-current, 1880-01-29
Citizen Salad.

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man in America. A.hemi We were
born April 9th.
1t is said that the new United
States Senator from Virginia, Gen.
Malone, who was a daring soldier
in the Confederate service, always
went into action with his hands in
his pockets. We advise him TO re
tain this habit when he goes into
action at Washington, especially if
there is anything in his pockets
worth keeping
George Q. Cannon, the Mormon
delegate in congress from Utah, has
four wives, and a virtu"us exchange
suggests that some action should be
taken in the premises. We hap
pened on certain occasion to see
one of Cannon's wives, and if she
is fair sample of the other three,
we, for one, intend to keep off his
his premises.
Luke Pryor, the new senator from
Alabama, is said to be very slovenly
in his habits. This will hardly set
him back in Washington, for in
that delectable metropolis a man
with the title of Senator can spurn
the bath room for months, or wear
one pair of socks during an entire
session of congress, and still be al
luded to by the fair sex as the
sweetest old individual in creation.
There are men there, too, who, to
secure countenance and favor, will.
eat the socks aforesaid and swear
by their grandfathers' graves that
they prefer them TO quail on toast.
One night last week, when the
weather was milder than it is now,
a negro man was walking along
First street with a lot of skunk
skins dangling from his hand and
leaving streak of blue smell be
hind him that would have sicker ed
a crocodile, when a little German
stepped up and inquired: "Vat is
dose leetle tiDgs you have dare?'
Before the negro could reply, the
amiable Teuton sucked in at least a
wheelbarrow full of the penetrating
perfume, and catching his breath,
he first gasped and then calculated !:
''Schpoilt, by shiminy-vat you
carry such dam steenks around dis
hot vedder fur, nohowT
A bucolic youth, coated an inch
thick with rusticity, went into
Gross store the other day to try
for the first time plate of fresh oys
tiers. He decided to take 'em raw.
and, discarding the fork as a super
fiuous implement, he picked up one
of the bivalves between his fingers
and lifted it cautiously to his mouth
which was stretched open until it
resembled the entrance to the Nam
moth Cave. While he was hesita
ting whether he should swallow il
or not, the oyster slipped from its
moorings and shot down his throat
like lightning. Jumping from his
chair, his eyes protruding far enough
to be knocked off with a club, he
stood the very picture of frozen
horror, but recovering himself by a
mighty effort he screamed: "Rur
this way with your pepper sass
that ar lump of cold sickness has
got to be followed by something
hotp
A young couple from Moulton
Ala, who were making rather ;
hasty search for connubial bliss
owing to the belligerent attitude o
the girls father, arrived at the Lin
den House Thursday morning an,
demanded breakfast and a clergy
man. They were politely accom-
modated with both, and in a small
space of time Rev. Mr.. Caldwell
buckied them together IN the par
Tor. At the conclusion of the cere
mony, the rotund DR.. Gilmore ten
dered his congratulations, observ
idg in brief but heller skelteI
way that he would like to do SINH.
lar wise, or something in the nature
of the same thing, if he could only
persuade some girl to fly with him
This led one of the Doctors admir-.
ers to remark that the amount OF
girl, wings, flop and muscle required
to fly with such a load would be
simply awful, and he seriously
doubted whether anybody in this
section of country could stand the
strain.
Sunset Cox, the scintlllant con-
gressional porcupine, after a long
and dreary interval of Inaction
which led to many painful surmises
as to his whereabouts, turned up
last Thursday with his prickling
quilts bravely presented. Mr.. Cox
is dimlnutive in size, hardly bigger
IN fact than a stick of candy after
hard days sucking; but Nature,
when she modelled the man, was
patronizing brains rather than In
testines, so she crammed him with
the former instead of the latter.
This fact seems to have been lost
sirht of by Congressman Horr, q
republican leviathan, who twitted
the genial New Yorker on his size.
This, wholly superauous provoca-
ton elected the following keen re
tort, which will be relished by all
little men, one of whom we are
which by large majority: Mr..
Cox said: There was no dis
ability under the law for a mans
being small. The constitution for
babe a man being a mem Der under
a certain age, but it did not say
that he had TO be six feet or two
yards In girth. Laughter at the
expense of Mr.. Horn, who is a large,
stout man. He Mr.. Cox repre-
sented large men, fighting men.
They had never taken his altitude,
and the gentleman (Mr. Horr
should not have done 1t. His con
stituents had never thought that
blubber was intellect; that meat
meant manhood, or that layers OF
lard over abdominal muscles made
Gladstones and Disraelis. Laugh
ter. Shakspere had said that flesh
and frailty ever went together, and
that the devil never would have
Falstaff damned lest the oil in him
should set hell on fire. Laughter.
Eleven young gentlemen OF Pu-
laski, hearing that a hop was to be
given at Aspen Hill Thursday
| Sabbath nj