The south Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1879-1883, 1880-12-21
GREEK MEETS GREEK.
A Book Agent Tackles q Boarding
House Keeper
New orleans TImcs.l

tceW OiicAhs Ainiee.l
Yesterday morning q man with the
aspect Of book agent walking swift
ly up Magazine street until he came
opposite house where a red-headed
woman with long nose and her
sleeves rolled up WAS washing the
windows.
Is this boarding house, madam?
he said gently, as he leaned his cl-
bows on the fence and looked over in
the yard.
Yes, sir, replied the woman.
Can ! obtain desirable board here
at reasonable rate?
Yes, sir, there is no better house in
the city!
Can | see the landlady?
/ am tho lsndlady, sir.
All! indeed have often heard Of
the beauty and industry Of the wo-
men OF New Orleans, but now / have
an ocular demonstration Of the fact.
"Do you wish to secure board here?
inquired the woman, blusbing and
looking pleased
Well, l reckon / do. Have you
any cid maids in the house who wear
gimlet curls and have pet parrots that
talk all night and worry the lie out
Of people? Are there any babies here
who are always having the collie and
howling enough to make a man
maniac? Madam, | am very particu-
lar where board, as the last place |
stopped at, my room was situated be-
tween thst Of young woman who
he'd pair Of twin babies and mu-
sician who played on the flute and
walked with crutch, and when the
babies became quiet on the one side.
the Internal cuss on the o-her would
be humping over the floor or playing
on the flute, until at last l could
stand it no longer. Are any Of these
boarding house pests stopping with
you!
No, sir, none but quiet single men
board here.
All, that is surely a fine recommen-
dation, but do you set a fine table?
Yes. of course | do, replied the
woman, getting angry. what else do
you want to know
What prompted me to ask you the
question was the fact that every
boarding house falls into the error of
giving its boarders tough liver Tor
breakfast, which is something | det
lest. When man gets up in the
morning hc doesn't feel like trying
to eat a spring mattress, consequent
lly make it point to hunt up a
house where the boarders are not so
cursed. A man can stand cod6sh
balls very we'll, but human nature,
madam, is far from being equal to
tough liver three times day. II
you recollect, said before, am very
particular where / board. Madam,
are you a married woman?
Yes. / am and tired OF answering
| your questions. If you don't want
board here just go away. and the ex'
cited landlady slushed the soapsuds
over the window panes, and made hel
brush fly like gin saw. The mar
| still leaned on the fence and gazed a
her steadily.
Madam, | SEQ you have a temper
| he remarked. when she turned around
to see il he had gone; and temper
when it is not controlled, often creates
a great deal of misery and no end 0
divorce suits. I've no doubt that
when irritated by household dutie'
and cares, that you often give You
husband sound rebuking, and if ht
is a prematurely bald headed man, i
is your own fault; yet You are net t
blame for that which nature endowe'
with. But this trouble can be OBJ
waited. / have here, madam, and HI
dived into square shaped box i
valuable work entitled Home Mad
Happy" or, "Thc Domestic Guide.
This excellent volume will sell 70
the sum Of one dollar and fifty cents
AS Ipreviously remarked, you can
not be blamed for your temper
Every rcd-headed woman with lon
nose and brown wart under her lei
/, eve, has sour temper, but il 70
I will only follow the suggestions lai
Q down in this book, your home will b
3 a paradise. and
d If you don't leave here, you impr
. dent puppy, I'll call the police.
: want you To-
D Bear in mind, madam, that no ma
ter how ugly you are. good dispo,s.
a ton makes any woman ANGEL
d and----
e Amt you going to leave, yon de
picablc villian, you handy legged
'e Although you are shaped like
At lopsided triangle, and have freckl
y on your face as large as ging
~ snap
- The next instant shrek W
If If heard, and the book agent was stretc
" ed fiat on the pavement with buck
he Of soapsuds on top Of him and sm'
It, dog swapping at his heels.
r. -..-.-,-..--.u--...-