The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-02-14
VARIETY.

The best Observation-Disclosures and temper
ance-
IL il extraordinary how long man may look
among the crowd without discovering the face Of
a frIend.-l Dickens.
The seeds Of love can never grow but under the
warm and genial influence OF kind feelings and
aiIecti0uate manners.
French paper says that no true Count is ever
found playing a hand-organ on the streets Of Am
erica. This will be a sud disappointment to Am
erean girls in search Of titled husband.
s.I'Il subscribe for the paper, said Vanderbilt,
laying down an agricultural Journal he had been
reading .. it, editor IL n man Of high attain
ments." His eye had caught an article headed
- Warter your stock regularly
A Yankee woman recently married a Chinese
Iaundry-man, and in three days thereafter the
and ordered his pigtaIl to be cut of, saying, in
explanation TOO muchee yank,''
eouceited young lady, while airing her
knowledge various subjects, remarked :
-sa There is nothing made IN vain - You are, "
said youth standing near her. - Am what p
said she. - Maiden vain," replied the smart
boy.
Many persons are puzzled to understand that
the terms '.fOurpenny, !" "sixpeuny," and '.ten-
penny means rs applied to nails. ''fOurpenny
means four pounds to the thousand nails or .'six-
penny" means six pounds to the thousand, and
so on. It is an old English term, and meant ut
first 'sten pound" nails (the thousand being
understOod), but the old English clipped il to
s.tenpun,'' and from that it degeneratcd until
penny was substituted for pounds When
n thousand nails weigh less than one pound they
are called tacks. brads, &c, and are rcckoned by
ounces.
WHAT SIZE CAVE Down ON.-A young lady
gave her skating experience N follows
=. You ought to have seen me- said the viva
cious young lady to the new minister - I'd just
got the skates on, made start, when down L
came on my"
~ MaggieI" said her mother.
=. What Oh, it was 80 funny One skate
went one way and the other went the other way,
and 20 down 1 came kerhOp on my"
- Margret reprOyingly spoke her father"
- Well, what ? They scOoted out from under
me- and down / came on my"
- Margret?'' yelled both parents.
- On my little brother. who had me by the
hand. and liked to have smashed him. Now what
IL the matter2"
The girls mother emerged from behind the
coffee pot, sigh Of relief escaped the minister,
and the old gentleman adrOItiy turned the con-
versation into a political channel.-BruHSIgieE
Nel1s.
WOULD NEVER HAVE DOxE.-Ernest (et six):
"But, mother dear, is it really true the world
made In six days7ff Mamma: YES Ernie. and IL
God had pleased lie could have made il in two days"
Ernest, AFTER moments consideration: - Oh,
mother. that would never have done, you know;
why. you know why, We should have Sunday every
other day"
nal nan to n Well-to-d0 Pawt'.sket citizen Monday
evening, ''wOnt you just examine this and sec If
have been chcatedl' The citizen thus aecUsted took
the article in his hands and inspected it. Il was n
book brand new aud with uncut leaves. Would YOU
give 2 so for such q book that7'' continued the
man with defective eyesight- ''Certaintly,' replied
the citizen 'Is il full ofplates and pctures7 Il is
replied the resident, unhesitatingly els the binding
auba
was the answer. 'And you quite sure that you
would give $3.50 for such noble book rs this2' con-
tinued the inquirer. "In minute.' he replied
ssWeIl. them take it." said the book agent 'I have
n hundred and sfty more just like itin the express
Office I can change q i've You will not be rObbing
me" The citizen took the book, carried il to the
falls dropped il into the seething cadron Of whiten-
ing water, entered his hOuse by back door and went
up softly to bed
Recently Solomon Glass, colOred man. whose
experience in agricultural pursuits has enlight-
ened his neighbOrhOOd, came to town with the
view Of getting divorce from his wife. When
asked upon what grounds, he replied:
- Sufficient i dc grounds Of dis occasion.
When I rented ten acres and worked one mule
married a oman suitable for the occasion. Now
I rent sixty acres OBJ Ian and work five mules.
My first vile was n mighty good ten-acre wife.
but she dOsn't suit dc occasion ob sixty acres.
needs oman what can spread more
When told by lawyer that the grounds were
not sufficient, he remarked
81 kin produce dc hist'ry to show whar I'm
careck is a learned man, and can read clar
aroun' de majority OBJ cOlOred gentlemen and a
Great many white feIlers. De reasons belongs
ter dc French history, an though dosn't speak
French | talks about it. You know Napoleon
fust married Josephine de Bcauharnais." "
Yes said the lawyer, - but you may be-
come a triae to historical opulent if you proceed
much further
OATS all right. An you know dat when he
got to de head Of de guberment, an had charge
of all de commissaries, he wanted a wife what
would spread more, an he got dispensation
from Josephine, an hitched onto Maria Louisa,
cause she could spread more. Oars de history
an dar's de precedent, an ef man can't get a
dispensation on desc groun's whar's yer court
houses and Whar's yer law?''
A special session Of the: Legislature may be
called, or otherwise Solomon Glass must continue
10 be the husband Ola -wife-Littie Rock.
ArkanSGs, GG=efte.
- uwMEIMZ sz-.