The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1880-07-08
SpO0pendyke's Baihing-Suif.
rRrooklyn Eagle


NV dear" observed Mr.. Spoopendyke,
looking up from bis paper, 81 think |
would he greatly benefited this summer 10y
sea-baibs. Bathing in the surf is an excel
lent tonic. and if you will make me up
suit and one for yourself, If YOU like. well
90 down often and take dip in the
waves
1.-THE very thing" smiled Mrs. SpoOpen'
dyke: :" you certainly need something to
tone you up, and there's nothing like salt
water. I think III make mine Of blue flan-
mel, aud, let me see, yours ought 10 be red,
my dear"
81 don't think you caught the exact drift
OF nv remark,' retorted Mr.. SpOopendyke.
d" | didn't say | was going into the opera
business, or that was going TO hire out 10
some country village Is a cOnAagrati0n. My
plan was TO go in swimming, Mrs. SpOOpen-
dyke; 10 20 III swimming, and not grow up
with the country as a cremation furnace.
You can make YOURS OF blue il you want
il. but YOU don't make mine OF red, that's
allV
"There's pretty shade of yellow nan
nel-"
"Most individually, Mrs. Spoopendyke,
but II YOU think Pm going to masquerade
around Manhattan Beach in the capacity OF
"A ham, YOU haven't yet seized my idea.
don't apprehend that | shall benefit by tie
,tllers any more by going around looking
like Santa Cruz rum-barrel. What
| want j. a bathiUg-suit, and il you can't
get one up without making me look like
Fulton-street car III 90 and buy something
10 sui, me-"
Would YOU want it all in one piece, or
do YOU want pants and blOuse!"
- want suit easy to get in and out Of.
I'm not particular about following the FASH
ion. Make up something neat, plain, and
substantial. but don't stick any fancy colors
into il. want ii modest and serviceabe."
Mrs. SpO0pendyke made up the suit,
under the guidance Of a lady friend, whose
aunt had told her how 1t should be con-
structed. 1t was in one piece, and when
completed was rather a startling garment.
"Pli try it on Tonight" said Mr.. Spoo-
nendyke. eycing it askance when It was
handed him.
Before retiring MIR. SpoOpendyke eX.
amiued the sun, and then began to get
into it.
why didn't you make some legs TO it?
What d've want to make it all arms for 4"
be inquired, struggling around to see why
it didn't come 10 behind.
you've got it on SIDEWAYS" exclaimed
Mrs. Sp0opendyke. "You'ye got one leg
into the sleeve"
..Pve cot 10 get it on sideways. There
amt any top toit. Don't you know enough
10 put the arms up where they belong !!
What dye think am, ANYHOW! a star-ish
Where does this leo go"
Fright in there. That's the place for
that leg"
.sThen where's the leg that goes in this
hole?'
"Why, The other leg"
"Tbe measy thing is all legs. Who'd
YOU make this thing for, me! What dye
take me for: centipede? Who else is
going to get in here with mey | want
somebody else. | amt twins. | can't ill
this business up. What dye call it, any
way, family machinc"
Those other places amt legs; they're
sleeves"
"W hat ore they doing down there
Wby aiu't they up here where they belong?
What are they there for, snOw-Shoes
S'pOse Pm going to stand on my head TO get
my arms in those h0Iesy"
~ dent think you've got it on right"
suggested Mrs. SpOopendyke. 1T looks
! twisted"
"That's the way YOU told me. You said,
put this leg here. and that one there and
there they are. Now where does the rest
oil me gO!"
II made it according to the PATTERN"
| sighed MIS-. SDOOpendyke.
"Then IT'S all right, and its me that's
twisjed,' sueered Mr.. SpOopendyke. "Pll
have my arms and legs altered. All want Is
to nave MY legs iammed in the small OF my
back and my arms stuck in my hips; then
| It'll iii. What did you take for pattern-
q crab? Where'd YOU lind the lobster you
made tins flom? S'pOse I'm going into the
water on all fours? | told you | wanted
bathing-suit, didn't |: Did ! say anything
about a chair-coyer Z"
81 think il you take il of and try 1t on
over again lt'll work." reasoned Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke.
"Oh! of course. Eve only got to humor
the ga.ted thing. That's ali 1t wants ."
and MIR. Spoopendyke wrenched 1t on with
Nov pull it on" said Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke.
Mt. Spoopendyke went at 1t again, and
reversed the original order OF disposing
| bis limits.
"Suit you now?" he howled. "That the
way you meant 1t 10 go! What's these
things Topping around herei"
| "Those are the legs, Pm afraid" said
Mrs. spoopendyke, deiectedly.
"What are they doing up here? see !;
oh I see-this is supposed TO represent me
making dive. When | get this on Pm
going head first. Where's the balance [?
Where's the resly Give ne the suit that
represents me head up" aud Mr.. spoopen-
dyke danced around the room in fury.
| "Just turn 1t over, my dear" said Mrs.