, 1880-04-11
LOCAL ITEMS.

| Experienced matrons advise young people
to marry in the springtime. That gives them
six months of happiness before they begin to
quarrel on the question Of who should get up
| in the morning to build the fires.
Pocahontas saved the life Of John Smith,
but she was a poor, Ignorant savage, and
| didn't realize what she was doing.
The seui-annual opening at Horner's Wen
ma millinery emporium, 316 West Madison
street, will commence next Tuesday, and will
| be continued day and evening for three days.
Chicago ladies' have learned byexperience
that the openings at this popular establish
ment mean an exhibition OF the rarest and
choicest of Partisan and Vienna millinery
novelties, and an advance peep we have had
at few Of the exquisite pattern bonnets and
hats that will be exhibited there warrants the
prediction that the approaching opening will
eclipse all similar occasions ever witnessed
in Chicago.
The Car doesn't take his meals in the
splendid dinng-room Of. the Winter PALACE
| any more. He crawlS into steamboat Doll,
er and eats his frugal dinner in peace and
security.
The Ladies' Grain and Provision Exchange,
Room 90 Metropolitan Block, corner La Sale
and Randolph streets, started some five weeks
ago, has, we are pleased to record. met With
| gratifying success. The room devoted to
business transactions Is now filled daily with
The Exchange is cozily and cheerlully fur-
nished, and ladies will find it pleasant place
to stay during business hours.
"Oid man Darling" sold crazy Darling"
esquire Darling," and "Col. Darling" are
grades of nomenclature through which Mr..
passed SET Willie he was looking for and finding
| silver and copper in the rocks OF Blue Hill,
Maine.
An Improvement that will be appreciated
by all musicians is the. atentinproved muslc
desk now in use on the Chickering s. Sons
upright pianos. By a simple device perfect
music-rack is formed i'll the most convenlen,tt
position for the player, In this, as in al
| and it is unquestionably the standard piano
| of the world
A prominent lady Of Mankato. Mimi. has
bought a Koran, and intends to study It,
with a view Of adopting the Mormon faith.
ses has qF6oib qwoa gsp gxaa qp p ers b nGPe OIL ever
G. P. Kimball & Co. have just received
some of the most elegant rockaways they
| have ever had; also more Of those tWo-Wheel
viIlage-carts that are becoming so popular.
Their sales the past ten days have been more gre
| than double those Of any previous year Tor
| the same length Of time: Good work and
| fair dealing tell in the end.
It is said, but we have some difficulty in
crediting SO horrible q rnmor,. that the Mill
lists have sent a disguised enissary to tempt
| the Gear to learn to ride bicycle.
Turner, IS Madison street, will be pleased
to show his new style walking suit, driving
| coat, and other fashionable styles.
"Please pass the butter" is obsolete
"Allow the oleomargarine to Slide down this
way" is now the thing.
"Chnck us hunk OF grease" Is more ex-
1eracciv Nom TTnrt TsTnrcQ2
Circulate the congeafed bovine essence "
has been used with charming effect.
The only safety for valuable furs is to store
them with such 4 reliable firm as 4. Bishop
will insure them against damage by fire,
moths, OF dampness at a trilling cost.
Railroad eating-houses in Connecticut EN-
| ploy religious walters altogether. They
Won't talk back when tho' coffee is called
Messrs. Pelton, Pomeroy g. Cross have
been making some extensive Improvements
In their piano Wareroon1s, the changes being
necessary for the accommodation OF thelr IN
creasing business.
A young man in Maryland started out with
horse, and lance, and battle-ax to champion
miles when red-headed school ma'am pulled
him off his steed and rolled him in the mud.
Parties contemplating the purchase of gas
machines will find it to their interest to ex-
anime the machine manufactured by
Mathews. & Holt, rs Dearborn-st-
How foolish for artists to represent Cupid
as the god OF love when we all know that an
old stocking tull OF money has more int1u-
ence than forty Cupids crowded up together.
The Bethesda water Of Waukesha is inval-
uabe as q remedy and preventive OF disease:
families @ e 1 Who viii in not drnE tt the lake Water.
A Vermont man spent 12o successive days
in trying to run down and kill fox, and
when at last he got sight Of him and fired a
shot the bullet killed. 500 horse and the fox
SlOped away.
The cures effected by DR.. D'Unger's Gin
chona Rubra at the Palmer House border on
the miraculous. Its tonic properties are
wonderful in cases Of nervous prostration,
and it is the only remedy for drunkenness
Down in Pennsylyania folks used to be-
lieye that the Lord made the weather for
each day, but since they have found out that
it is the Signal Service instead church in
huence is spreading.
Grand opening of new goods and new styles
every day at Thome's Hair Bazaar, 157 State
street The elegant display at this place IS
the admiration Of the ladies'.
According to the English idea, every woman
who hasn't q face like full moon is hatchet-
faced, and not even passably good-looking.
Homeopathic medical books for family use
from 50 cents to s. at Boericke d TafeFs
Pharmacy, IS Clark street.
Prof. Huxley says It IS JUST as sa1e 70 marry
on a three weeks courtslip as to wait longer.
Each side will conceal all faults as much as
possible anyhow.
The best stock Of house-furnishing goods
at the lowest prices sold on easy payments by |
Hiram Brush, 272 Madison street.
The biggest hustle Of the season was de-
tected ut the Custom House in New York the
other day. A steamship passenger had forty |
yards Of broadcloth wrapped around her.
Buy Caw's ink for 3lacKinnon and sty1o- |
graphic pens at Is State street. The latter |
repaired.
No man can come upon sign Of Keep of |
the grass" without feeling spirit of defiance |
clear down to his heels. |
All admit that Drake has the finest one
band gold friezes in Chicago.
Fisl-polcs are now made to resemble walk |
ing-canes, and where the Lords Prayer is en-