The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1880-05-19
RECENT P0ST.OFFlCE
RULES.

A pair OF onions will 60 for two
scents.
Ink bottles must be corked when
sent by mail.
Over three pounds OF real es-
tate are not mailab!e.
Parties are compelled to lick
their own postage stamps and en-
velopes; the postmaster cannot
be compelled to do this.
An arrangement has been per-
fected by which letters without
postage will! he Immediately for
warded-to the dead letter Office.
Parties are earnestly requested
not to send postal cards with mon.
ey order ipclosed, as large sums
are frequently lost in that way.
Nitro-glycerine must be toward
ed at the risk Of the sender. fit
should blow up in the postmaster's
hands he cannot be held respon-
sible.
When iatters are received bear
ing no direction, the parties for
whom they are intended will
please signify the fact to the post
master, that he may at once for
ward.
A stamp Of the foot is not suff-
cient to carry a letter.
As all postmasters are expert
linguists, the address can be writ
ten in Chinese, Choctaw, or any
other language.
Spring chickens that are old
enough 10 vote, when sent by
mail, should be enclosed 10 iron
bound boxes to save their tender
bodies from injury.
1t is unsafe TO mail apple or
fruit trees with tho fruit on them,
as somo Of the clerks have a weak
ness for such things.
1t is earnestly requested that
lovers writing to tncir girls, will
please confne their gushing rhap-
sodies to the inside of the envel-
ope.
Ducks cannot be sent through
the mails Whsn alive. Their
auacking would disturb the slum-
bers of the clerks on the postal
cars. This rule, however, does
not apply to a duck Of bonnet.
When watches are sent through
the ma!ls # tha sender will put q
notice on the outside the Post
masters will wind up and keep in
running order.
Poems on Spring and Beautiful
Snow: are rigldIy excluded from
the iaaila. This will be joyful
news to the editors of this land.
Old maids are unavailable.
John Smith gets his mail from
674,279 Post Offices, hence a letter
directed to John Smith, United
States will reach him.
Whe4 candy is sent through
the mails it is earnestly requested
that both ends Of the package be
left open so that the employees OF
the Post Office may test it's quai-
ity.
Babies can be sent as third class
matter provided sucking bottles
accompany them.
When eggs are sent through
the mails and chickens are hatch
ed out on the journey the chick
ems become the property of the
Government.
When you enclose a money Or
der in a letter always write full
and explicit directions in the same
letter so that any person getting
the letter can draw the money.
Alligators over ten feet in length
are not allowed to DO transmitted
by mail,
Young ladies who desire to send
their Saratoga trunks by mail to
watering places during the CON-
ing summer should notify the
Postmaster-General at once. They
must nat be over 7 feet long by
thirteen feet high.
Cologne of delicate odors like
assafoetida is not mailable.
When you enclose money to
any Of the parties on the list Of
official frauds please say a little
prayer.
Letter carriers are required to
have penetration enough to know
when letters should be delivered
to jealous wives, hence if he de-
li7ers a letter from your girl to
your wife you can have him dis