The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1880-11-30
NUMBER AZ.
Catching a Burglar.
Brooklyn EARLE.

Catching q Burglar.
Brooklyn Eagle. ~
"Say, my dear" ejactlsted Mr.
Spoopendyke. sitting bolt upright IN
bed with sudden jerk zsssay, my dear,
wake up! hear burefArs IN. the ho6se. !"
who? Whist btrglars ~ demanded
Mrs. ,opendyke, % she popped mp
beside her husband. who's is~&ks
house ?"
.Hush! Quiet, will YEP I don't know
which burglar, but ! hear come one movt
ing around"
"0hi my! What shall we DOR d.
CURED Mrs. Spoopendyke. "Le,'s co4er
up our heade.s
"Wny don't you get up and light the
gas.T propounded Mr. Spoopendyke in
q hoarse whisper. "S'pose you can seq
aho il is in the darkp Strike light,
cant ye2 II you hal your way Ns'd
,hath be. murdered in he'd Coins -
'Asflt up befUrswe,re kiiIea
"I'm afraid!" whispered Mre. So.
pendyke, stricking one foot ont OF bed
and hauling it in as il she had caught
fish with it.
"doing to sit there like sbot-'ower
and have our throats cut ?" INTERCEPTED
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "How'm I going 70
find burglar without llgh,2 Find q
match and light that measly gas, new,
quick" islias5
"Mrs Spoopendyke crawled out Of
bed, and hunted around for q ekift.
whats the matter with you2sS Can't
you end matchp Why don't you
move ?" hissed Mr.. Spoopendyke.E
81 am as fast as l eau" replied bis
wife, her teeth chatteriug. I'm look,
ing for pin." -
"Oh, You're moving like railroad,
ain't YEP / never saw anything fly like
you do. All you want is to be done up
in white and blue papers to be seid .
lllz powder. What dye wnhtof pinf
Going to stick pin In the, burelar2
Why den's you light the gas"
Mrs. Spoopendyks broke half dozen
matches, and finally go; light. sR
That's something like e." continued
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Now hand me ny
pantaloons,"
"You won't go down where they. are,
will your" anxiously inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke, handing over the gar
ment." sa Ai Aai
Mr.. Spoopendvke vouchsafed no re-
ply but donned the liabiIiments. al
Nov, you open the door" said be;
"and goto the head Of the siails and
ask who's there. while ind my stick,
Hurry up, or they'll get away"
Suppose they are there. Whst1l I
do then f'' aiz ~
"Tell 'em I'm coming. Go ask ssm,
will yer What the matter with you -
Mrs. Spoopendyke opened the door
about an inch. squealsd .Who's there ~
slammedsthe door again and popped inr
to bed.
SWhss sifs ye I" deusanded the bus-
band, "What dye think you are. any
way, conical shoti Get up, can { Va,
and look out. Where's my big stick y
What have you done with it2 Sent IL
TO school, haven't sya2 GO pntland ,alrs
who's there, will We, before they come
up ard slaughter US"
Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke sp-
preached the door and TREMENDOUSLY de-
manded what was going on-there was
no response, to her incslculable relief,
and she went to the head OF the stairs
"Seen anybody" whispered Mr..
Spoopendyke. looking over her shoul-
der.
"Who's there squealed Mrs. Spoos
pendyke. "Go right away. because my
husband is here"
"Oh, you've done J" exclaimed Mr..
Spoopendyke, as he hauled her back id
to the room Now, how dye s'pose
I'm going to catch 'emi What do you
want to scare 'em away forf Whatl
you say anything about me for7 Think
his is nominating conventioni What
made you leave the house openS Come
On down with me, and I'll show you
how rs lock up."
Down they went, and careful scrutiny
demonstrated that everything was fast.
IL don't believe there was anybody
Ihere," said Mrs. Spoopendyke, as they
returned to their chamber
"It wssn's your fault" retoried Mf.
Spoopendyke. "If you'd got up when
told you and kept your mouth shut
we'fhave got 'em
"But you said tor me-"
.Didn't sas anything Of the sort!"
bawled Mr.. Spoopendyke-0never men,
toned your name. We might have been
killed, the way you went to work.
# think we'd caught them II they'd
been there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke.
taking down her hair and proceeding TO
put it up again.
"Oh. you'd caught EN- p sneered Mr.
Spoopendyke. "All you want is soma
chloride OF lime and your accounts short
to be penitentisry. Another time
burglar gets in the house yoa stay abed.
and don't you wake me up again.
won't have any dod gas,ed woman rout.
ing me out this time OF night, We bear 2"
"Yes, dear" and Mrs SpoopeDdyks
wound her hand in the collar of her
liege lord's night shirt and went to sleep
secure in his protection.