Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1880-03-24
-LINCOLNS STORIES.
HOW Mr.. LINCOLN GOT RID OF
A CoNsUMMATE BORE.

When care sat heaviest on his hear
and the prospect of a favorable solu
tion of the war seemed most doubtful
be would turn away from his troubles
and Tighten the gloom of the hour bl
one of those jokes which soon became
national in their reputation. 1t wa:
this faculty Of casting away care that
/ enabled the President to endure The
wear and tear of a great war, thai
would have killed most men.
Many people will, no doubt, always
] believe that many of the jokes attrib
uted to Mr.. Lincoln were manufactured
outside of the White House and lait
to the great Presidents account, anG
while this was partly true Mr. Lincoln
did tell thousands of anecdotes, and i
some credited to him were told by
others there were scores Of Lincoln's
jokes that lave never been repeated OF
published.
| remember one day going to the
White House with Senator Ben Wade
when Mr.. Lincoln assailed US with a
perfect avalanche of jokes Mr. Wade
was in hurry, having to be at the
Senate by II o'clock, and it was then
after l.
''Sit down, Mr.. Wade; sit down,
General. cried the jolly President
Il am going to tell you a story"
Mr.. President, | should be most
happy to listen to your story" said
Mr.. Wade, "but | have some little
business with you this morning, and
then | must go to the Senate, as it is
almost the hour for it to assemble" /"
Well, well, | guess you will be in
time, but | want to talk to you, and if
the Senate meets without you, why
let it meet, that's all " Then turning
abruptly to me the President inquired /:
"IIow are the people out in Ken
tucky z" | was then in command of
the Blue Grass Region of Kentucky,
where Mr.. Lincoln had many friends.
"They are pretty well, replied.
care they loyal now 7" asked Uncle
Abe. with smile.
Sometimes they are and sometimes
they are not" replied. when they
think the Union is going to win they
get loyal until Lee gains battle on
the Potomac. and then when it looks
better for the Confederacy they become
disloyal again"
"That reminds me of the high and
the low-combed cock" said Abe, "and
as it is capital story | must tell it to
you"
''Now, Mr.. Lincoln" said Wade, "I
must be going, as it is nearly twelve,
and | have barely time to reach the
Senate before it assemblies. | have a
litlle business with you, andr-
"Sit down, sit down, man." cried
Lincoln; '"the Senate can assemble,
say, without you being there, and
must tell you this story besides,
won't be five minutes, and you can
surely give me that much OF your
time" Uncle Abe then related the
following story, which | will repeat as
nearly as ! can recollect in his own
words:
when / was youngster ont in
Kentucky there was a chap who had
high-combed cock that could lick all
the roosters in the country. One day
an emigrant came in to settle who said
be had low-combed cock that could
thresh anything in them parts, the
high-combed cock included The in
terest became intense and the chickens
were examined by all the boys. Both
looked well and seemed TO be genuine
game cocks. A meeting was arranged
to come off between the cocks and the
whole neighborhood was excited over
it. Squire C was n noted man
and very sharp. The Squire was al
ways right, but no one could ever find
out exactly what his beliefs were, his
reserved opinions being the correct
ones. The Squire was consulted con-
cerning the roosters, as he was about
everything else, and putting his spec
tacles on his nose be examined both
roosters carefully. lie :, id the high
combed cock had 'pints' about him
which indicated be would win, but the
low-combed cock was much the heav-
lest rooster of the two and by sheer
weight might beat his antagonist.
The young fellows who wanted to bet
questioned the Squire closely, but they
could not get any nearer to his opinion
Of the real merits Of the chickens.
The day came for the battle and with
it great crowd. The Squire pre-
sided, for in those days, more than
now, racing, fighting and betting was
the height of Kentuckian's glory.
Close attention was given to the
Squire's position on the fight, as he
was both oracle and judge. Il pro-
pose said the Squire, this yere shell
be IA fare lite, and tharfore we will giv
three cheers fur both ROSTERS 1t was
done with a will and then the fight
began. At every turn in the battle
the Squire would cry out: 'Hurrah
for the high-combed cock = 'Hurrah
for the low-combed cock = Once he
made bet on the high-combed cock,
but he Immediately hedged by betting
on the low-combed cock At last, after
bloody contest, the low-combcd cock
got the worst of it, turned tail and
ran. 'Hurrah hurrah hurrah for the
high-combed cock ! Gentlemen, | knew
that rooster would win in the end, but
it is always unfair to express an opin-
ion in a contest like this in advance of
the rale issoo. Now, gentlemen, you
have had all the fun, but you see that
high-combed rooster was bound TO
win. Why, lock at his comb! Any
man can see with half an eye he is "A
real game chicken. while that other
one il only a dunghill fowlr
"Now," cried Uncle Abe, "that is
the way it is with those fellows out in
Kentucky. They want to be on both
sides in this fight, and hurrah for the
high or low-combed cock a. policy die
tates. If we win, they will be good
Union men. but if JEFF Davis were TO
win they would be the best rebels in