Fayette County herald. [volume] (Washington [Washington Court House], Fayette County, O. [Ohio]) 1860-1???, 1880-01-22
VARIETIES.

-IhlS year Arkansas ranks next Il
Texas as a cotton State, producing
100000 bales.
When a man is in a brown study
does he give color to his thOughts?-
Rome Sentinel
Chief Ouray wears store clothes, g
huge-brimmed felt hat, a handsome
watch and massive silver chain.
-Twenty-eight States in this coun-
try have regularly appointed Fish Com
missioners to execute the fish laws. q
"A Connecticut cat has got the
mumps, and hogs, en- route to Liver
pool, have recently died of typhoid
fever. ....# '..... ....''r
"A Hartford druggist draws beer
| from a soda fountain and sells it under
the name Of German tonic. 1t has be-
come very popular beverage.
Il don't take foolish chances. If
waz called upon to mourn over dead
mule l should stand in front oV him and
do mi weeping. Josh Billings.
"A man who was enabled to come
from India to Hudson, N. Y, through
the loan of 5000 by brother, has
eloped with that brothers daughter.
The Piutes about the Comstock
range do not dig graves. They shove
corpses into old mining shafts and now
and then miners come on a ghastlY
find.
They call it romantic marriage
in Michigan when a couple of the
neighbOrs get the BRIDES father into a
back room and sit on him to prevent
his interrupting and breaking up the
wedding.-M. z. Graphic.
Many oaks in England are eight
hundred to one thousand years old. The
Newland Oak is fOrty.seven feet six
inches in girth. The Cowthorp, now
more than one hundred years in proc
ess of decay, still has girth of sixty
feet.
-Artemus Ward once said, softly
and sadly, to Mark Twain, q Clemens,
[ have done tOomuch fooling, too much
trifing; am going to write something
that will live" Said Twain, " Well,
what, for instanceP" Ward sadly re-
piled, GA lie." .......
An Indiana man lately placed a
brick in pillow for the ostensible pur-
pose of playing a joke on his wife, and
the next morning, in playful mood,
flung the affair at his mother-in-law
and laid her out He declared to the
coroner that he had forgotten all about
that brick.
-LeadYilie boasts of aristocratic
walters. At the Grand Hotel is an ex-
member of the New Jersey Legislature,
whose letters bear the prefix Of g Hon. "
At the Clarendon the guests are served
at table by an ex-Confederate General,
a doctor of medicine, a lawyer, and an
ex-Judge from Freeborn County, MINI.
AT the last meeting of the Chicago
Dental Society the rare and successful
operation of transplanting tooth from
the mouth of one person to that of
another was reported by a prominent
dentist of that city. The grinder was
transferred from the mouth of young
lady to the jaw of middle-aged man.
"A New York paper asks: "What is
Water?" The Norristown Herald an
swers: Water is used for drinking pur-
poses in some places, but we don't sup
pose the fashion has yet reached New
York. When we were in that city some
time ago we were invited to take sew
eral drinks, but none of them were
water.
The London Truth says that men
elope from vanity, wishing to prove
that they are their own masters; from
deficient courage when they " hate
rows;'' from shame when they have got
entangled with girls who are much
their inferior in social station, and from
cunning greed when they wish to Sc
cure heiresses.
-Considerate-Elder sister Ito young
lady inquiring for a situatiOn:) 81
think you have been in my employ be-
foreP" Young Lady" Yes, ma'am;
but when Miss Helen was going to be
thought, as one of the fami-
ly, could best express my annoyance
by leaving my situation for short
time" "-Judy.
The tar got cold and hard while
the mob was getting ready to punish
James Gayton at Warren, R. /. They |
were out of doors on cold night, and |
had a match to light a fresh
fire under the kettle. So they rolled
the naked man in the snow until he
was chilled almost to death, and let
the outrage go at that.
-"Iwish youwould keep your mouth
shuty' exclaimed Hollemout, the den
list, suddenly losing patience with his
patients predilection to talking. "All
right" said the latter, suiting the ae-
tiOn to the word. And then Hollemout
asked him if he would be so kind as to
open it again long enough for him
(HollemouD to get his finger out. You
never do know how to please some
men.-BOStOn Transcript.
-"You ought to curb that son, J." said
a city minister to a parishoner not long
since. "L know he's 'nawful bad boy"
replied the man. eyes, he is" con-
tinued the minister, 'and you should
curb him, and that severely" The
man seemed inclined to follow his pas
5or's advice, and ut the first oppOrtu-
nifty took his recreant son out upon the
sidewalk and failed him around over
jhe ground until the neighbors inter-