The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-07-09
PITH AND POINT.

Der Of Legislative body. CT am very
glad to hear it, said bystander; "no
man needs it more"
"WEnI, you'll own she's got pretty
foot, won't you?" eyes, I'll grant you
that; but it never made half as much of
an impression on me as the old mans.
I. A KISS without mustache is like an
| egg without salt.-Spoai8b ProVerb.
Always remember that, girls, and never
kiss without the mustache; always kiss
within it.
WHEN a young farmers wife made her
first boys pants precisely as simple be-
fore as behind, the father exclaimed ::
Goodness, he won't know whether he
is going to school or coming home =
PROFESSOR Can you multiply to-
gether concrete numbers ?" The class
are uncertain. Professor What will
be the product of five apples multiplied
by six potatoes ?" Pupil triumphant
W" Hash p
GRANDMOTHER "You are stupid,
Charley the dullest boy I ever saw"
Charley "You must not expect me to
understand things as quick as you do,
grandmother, because you don't have
the trouble to get EN- through your
hair"
1T is said that the deepest gorge in the
world has been discovered in Colorado.
We always had the impression that the
biggest gorge in this country might be
witnessed at railway station where
the train stops " five minutes for din
ner."
SUNDAY-soHooL scholar Ito the teach
err" Did you say that the hairs of my
head were all numbered?" Teacher
" Yes, my dear" Sunday-school schoI-
ar" Well, then quilting out hair
and presenting it, "where's the number
on that one? ?"
"TEN dimes make one dollar" said
the schoolmaster. CHOW go on, sir.
Ten dollars make one-what? % "They
make one mighty glad these times, re-
| piled the boy; and the teacher, who
hadn't got his last months salary yet,
concluded that the boy was about right.
SCHOOL teacher to little boy whose
father is a grocer" Now, Johnny, if
your father has barrel of whisky con-
tanning forty gallons, and one-fourth of
it leaks out, how many gallons does he
lose?" johnny" He don't lose none.
He fills it up again, right off. "
AT a camp-meeting last summer ven
cradle sister began the hymn:
My soul, be on thy guard;
Ten thousand foes arise;
She began too high. "Ten thousand"
she screeched, and stopped. "Start
her at five thousand !" cried a convert
ock-broker present.
AN old Judge of the New York Su-
preme Court, meeting friend in
neighboring village, exclaimed: "Why,
what are you doing here ?" "Im at
work, trying to make an honest living"
was the reply "Then you'll succeed, "
said the Judge. "for you'll have no COM
petition
ELDER, will you have drink of
cider?" inquired farmer of an old tenn
perance man who was spending an even
ing at his house. "Ah-hum-no
thank, ye, said the old man " [ never
drink any liquor of any kind-'specially
cider; but, if you will call it apple
juice, I'll take drop"
ONE of the lady teachers in a public
school, a few days since, was laboring
with an urchin on the science of simple
division This is what came of it:
Now, Johnny, if you had an orange
which you wished to divide with your
little sister, how much would you give
her ?" JOHNNY suck.
Troy Times: "Will you be SO kind,
my little friend, as to tell your grand
mother that the man who is taking the
census would like to see her?" said
census-taker to miss of summers.
The little one hesitated minute and
then replied: eyes, sir I'll tell her,
but don't believe she has any,"
A CALIFORNIAN was speaking about
g a man with an iron jaw" when mel
7ancholy-looking man, just from the East,
exclaimed: "Ah, yes, know what
that means. The wife from whom fed
was a woman of ire an jaw" The Cali
fornians showed their sympathy by
drinking at the strangers expense.
AN experienced matron says ga
man will eat soggy biscuit twice week
without complaint, when his best girl
invites him out to tea. But after the
girl becomes his wife, if there is the
faintest indication Of a touch of salera-
tus in them, the neighbors will think
there is a 5district school out for recess
by the racket he makes.
4 r
You've lady art student" Look!
There is our drawing-master's picture,
Rose. What do you think of it 2" Gym
ical party" Why, it surpasses every
thing we have seen. Y. L. A. s." In
what do you think it chiefly excels?"
G. Pc Imbecility. 1t surely surpass-
es anything we have looked at IN that
quality"
A LONDON tourist met young woman
going to the kirk, and, as was not un.
usual, she was carving her boots in her
hand, trudging along barefoot. my
girl, . he said, els 1T customary for all
+In ,0oo7,1a n, 4I,nco 11o1ts fO 90 hare