Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-05-20
Odd Trines.

Odd Trines.
It is better to spank than tospoil thu
baby.
Whittaker's ears will long beremem
bered.
The boom of q politician is not all his
fancy paints it.
The deaths of letters in post Offices
are uncalled for.
Old fashions come round again, and
hoops are not far away.
The sparrows are little thieves, but
they don't do the robin.
At this season dogs are expecting
new fashions in muZzling.
There is no profit in call loans if they
will not come when called.
That Kearney has been beaten is
shown by the many stripes he wears.
A woman's idea Of recklessness is
crossing field in which q COW is feed
ing.
There IS tendency to palm Off cleo
cabbagarine cigars for genuine Hava-
mas.
1.-THE end crowns the work" in most
things, but In baseball it's the big-in-
ming.
Why is It necessary for man to rise
and stand on his feet to make q "set"
speech?
Courtney is very rowbust and there
are fears that he will break his new
rigging.
A lady recently lectured in Detroit
on Burns" but failed to tell what
would cure 'em.
A New Orleans colored man says he
"members when dey was diggin' de
Tombigbee riber."
LET me see your paper moment,
dear?" Husband: Yes, as soon as we
get to the tunnel"
Persons who jump at conclusions are
sure to leave theatre before the cur
tain is halfway down.
If a man who can raise barrel is |
nominated it can only be on account of
his purse-sonal strength.
DR.. Holmes says the American who
is continually pronouncing his own
name is simply cuckoo.
The mate of a schooner recently lost
his life attempting to take in the spank
er after squall had struck.
A Texas editor was recently knocked
down and robbed of So, and ore more
newspaper passed in its checks.
It has been figured out that it takes
just fifteen minutes to learn to be an as
trologer well enough to bamboozle
fools.
"Our new Constitution has one very
weak spot" said Dennis Kearney; at
should have provided Board Of Par
dons."
The Chicago type of girl has hon
parei head on BREWER body and long
primer feet-typographically speaking
as it were.
We don't see what good it will do
Gilbert and Sullivan to copyright their
Penzance piece, as it is not good until
it is pirat 4.
The ten commandments would not
be a bad platforms; but it is feared the
majority of Candidates are unwilling 10
run OH them.
An editor who thinks he knows all
about farming says in speaking about
straw berries, the best way to raise them
is with spoon.
It is said that "All things come to
him who will but watt" but at the res
taurant table that depends somewhat
upon the waiter.
Secretary Evarts is to deliver a
speech or two during the coming cam ,
the campaign is sutfi- !
GENTLY protracted.
If telephones come into use for
spreading sermons, the man who pass
es the contribution box will need &
horse and carriage.
An absent minded printer once made
the line, From grave to gay, from live
1y to severe, read; From grave to
gay, from plea to BREWER"
Mistress-Bridget, didn't you hear
me call? Bridget-Yis, mum; but We
towld me the other day never to an
swcr We back-and I didn't.
Greatly to bis disgust, the foreman
OF the jury, after copious expectora-
ton, replied, "You just wait y little,
old boss, and We'll tell you"
It is said that a coon can be caught
by leaving whisky in the vicinity, but
the average hunter would rather drink
the whisky and take his chances on
the coon.
The exasperated owner Of corner
store in Augusta. Me-, has put up q
sign reading: WANTED, the ten lazi-
est men i'll town-to loaf on this cor
ner."
When paper speaks of Annie Lou
Use Cary making flying visit to her
Maine home," one can not help won
tlering If the editor ever saw Annie
Louise.
An Irish newspaper says: ''In the
absence IF all the editors, the publish
ers have succeeded in securing the SER
vices of II gentleman to edit the paper
this week."
A young lady with taste for paint
Ing can in about six months so decorate :
a room that visitor is bothered 10