davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

GB-A lady wants to know why the
railroad companies do not provide spe-
cial cars for tobacco chewers as well as
for smokers. Bless your innocent heartl
Tobacco chewers are not 80 particular as
that. An ordinary passenger car is good
enough for tn EN-.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

WWhen an old backwoodsman was
about to take his first ride in a Mississip-
pi steamer, he was asked whether he
would take deck or cabin passage.
WE'LL" said he, in resigned sort of
way, "I've lived all my life in cabin,
and 1 guess cabin passage will be good
enough for rough chap like me.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

eYA backwoods preacher once eluci
dated as follows in connection with the
parable of the virgins: "In ancient
times, my beloved hearers, it was the
custom, after couple had been married
for ten virgins to go out with lighted
lamps and meet 'em on the way home
five of these virgins being males and
five females"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

GB-" Look here, old boy, how can
you sport that awful hat ?" "That hat,
sir glory in it. My wife says she
won't be seen walking with me SO long
as wear it-and so sir, cling to it
with the affection of periwinkle for
his SHE'LL"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

tB- Recently the daughter of a Ger
man grocer in Rochester was married.
Her. father, with pride and spice of
hurhor, placed a placard in the window
bearing this notice: "This store is
closed on account of some fun in the
family"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

tB-A clergyman past middle age,
after having united loving couple in
the holy bonds of matrimony, was ask
ed by some one present at the marriage
feast how he, bachelor, could consist
emily engage in such ceremonies. The
good mans answer was significant
SIN mans life there are two periods
when he is likely to marry-one when
he is young and has no sense, the other
when he is old and has lost his sense
He was glad to inform them that he was
past one and had not yet reached the
other"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

a9r" believe" said a Galveston jus
tice to rough-looking customer, that
all the scoundrels In Galveston harbored
In your den." :" 1 never saw you there
yet, jedge."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

tB-A newspaper biographer trying to
say his subject twas hardly able to bear
the demise of his wife, was made by the
inexorable printer to say, swear the
chemise of his wife,
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

RGr" How shall L have my bonnet
trimmed" asked Maria, $50 that 1t
shall agree with my complexion" "If
you want 1t to match your face, have it
plain" said the hateful Hattie.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07
er"I can't 90 to the party tonight, ),

sgr" 1 can't go to the party tonight"
said Jones; " the truth is my shirt is in
the wash, - "Shirt in the wash ~ shrek
ed Smith; "why, man alive, have you
but one shirt?" "One shirt 2" exclaim-
ed Jones in his turn ''you wouldn't
want fellow to have million shirts,
would you ?'
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

nB-Anna is 1t proper to say this IRE,
and that ARE 2'' "Why, Kate of course
not" "Well, 1 don't know whether 1t
is proper or not, but / feel cold In this
ear from that air."
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

60 Punch says that Yankee baby
will crawl out of his cradle, take survey
of 1t, invent an improvement, and ap-
ply for a patent before he is six months
old.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

EYr" In closin' dis meetin," said the
old man as the usual hour was marked
by the clock, "let ebery one o. you bar
in mind dat BLOWN, up a bladder don't
make bar'l. Git it as full o. wind as
you may an it's muffin but bladder
De Lawd made each one for a special
purpose, an de chap who was created to
use shovel will git busted ebery time
he believes dat he was cut out for a
statesman. We will now be scattered"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

E8-A beggar sitting at certain corner
with placsrd on his breast, and a dog
tied to q string. On the placard is writ
ten: "Pity the blind" A stranger
passes by and gives Spanish silver
coin, whereupon the beggar calls after
him: g. 1 say this won't pass here."-
AStonishment of stranger: why,
you can see can't your"
"See, of course can"
"Then why are you begging? Why
this placard9"
" For my dog, he's the blind onel"
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07

y EMNANTs of PRINTS-of these we have
In large quantity In good styles.
In addition to the above goods we have nice
assortment Of Ladies NeclStles, COrsets German
town Yarn. Zephyrs, Shoes for Ladies' aud Chill
dren, and thousands Of other articles.
II. MORTIMER,
New Bloomfield, Pa
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07
IN THE TREATMENT OF
Chronic Diseases

he has had very extensive experience, and haScured
many hopeless cases, after years OF suffering, and
expense incurred in seeking relief elsewhere
Among the many chronic complaints treated
successfully are Asthma, Bronchitis Laryngits,
Hemorrhage of the Lungs, Consumption, (hrst
and second stages.) Heart Disease, Dyspepsia
Liver Complaint, Melancholia, Scrofula or Kings
or enlargement Of the Glands of the neck, ,DrOpsy,
Piles, chronic DiarrhGa, Constipation OF the Bow
els, Sick and Nervous Headache Neuralgia,
Diseases Of Females. Tumors, Kidney Diseases,
Enlarged Spleen, Epilepsy, DeafAess, Chronic
Chills and Ague, Diabetes Mellitus, old running
sores. Tapeworms removed.
DIR. B. does not confne himself to any one par
ticular system of medicine. He uses all the late
improved methods and remedies, as also Magnetic.
Electric, or
Medical Electricity,
which is so successfully used at the present day
treatment of the Lungs and air passages he uses
NHALATTONS.
which carries the medicine direct to the diseased
parts
When an incurable case presents itself he Is
not cure him, thus avoiding further expense.
In chronic dilentsi 1t is always best for patients
to call at his office for personal examination and
treatm snt, when that Is practicable.
AS- ONCE at his residence on Main street, a
few doors west OF H. Smiths blacksmith shop, in
what is known as the Gallatln property.
~ CONSULTATION FREE.
Bloomfield, May A, 1880.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07
\KJ pOWE MI n
MI EDICAL NOTICE!
DIR. O. P. B0LLINGER,
Having located permanently in
NEW BLOOMFIELD,

Offers his professional services to the citizens Of
the Borough and surrounding country.
Dr. B. has been engaged in an extensive prac-
tlce for over 28 years. He has also served his
country in the capacity of Surgeon to the 18th
Pa. Vol. Infantry during the late Rebellion,
holding his Commission from the then Governor
of this Commonwealth. His credentials are from
one Of the best Medical Colleges in America.
His success as a practitioner of medicine is ac-
knowledged by recommendations from former
patrons, which are free for inspection at all
times.
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07
D1sCOvERER OF
LYDIA e. PINKHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND.
The Positive Cure
For all Female Complaints.

This preparation, as its name signifies, consists OF
Vegetable Properties that harmless 10 the most del
cate invalid. Upon trial the merits of this Com
pound will be recognized relief Is immediate and
when its use Is continued ninety nine cases in hun
dcd effected ms thousands viii tes
tlfy account of its proven merits, IL is today re-
commended and prescribed by the best physicians In
the country.
1t will cure entirely tho worst form Of falling
OF the uterus, Leucorrhua, irregular and painful
Menstruation, all Ovarian Troubles, Inflammation
liberation, F1oodings all Displacemens and the con-
sequent spinal weakness and is especially adapted 20
the Change OF Life. IL will dissolve and expe tumors
from the uterusin early stage OF development. The
tendency to humors there Is checked very
speedily by It's use.
In fact IL has proved TO be the great
est and best remedy that has ever been discover.
ed 1t permeates every portion of the syge gives
now lifennd vlgor Itremoves faintnes atulcncy de
stroys oil craving for smulants and relieves weakness
Of the stomach
1t cures Bloatlng, Headaches, Nervous Prostraton,
General Debility, seeplessness, Depression and IndE
geston. That feeling of bearing down, causing palm
weight and backache, is always permanently cured BY
its It wnt all times, and under oil circumsan.
ces, act in harmony with the law that governs the
female system.
For Kidney Complaints Of either sex this compound
is unsurpassed.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Isprepared at as3 and 1856 Western Avenue Lynn. Mass
Price $780, Six bottles for $500 Sent by mail In the
form of pills. also In the form Of Lozenges receipt
of price, S1OO, per box, for either. Mrs. PINKHAM
freely all letters of inquiry Send for pam
phlot. Address MS above Mention this paper.
No family should be without LYDIA Z. PINKHAM'
LIVER PILLS They Constipation Blliousness
andTorpidty Of the Liver. 25 centsp per box
va GEO. A. KELLY& CO., General Agents
Pittsburgh, Pa. Also for sale by Jacob Strick
Ter, New Blormiield. Pa. 27Hly
The New Bloomfield, Pa. times. (New Bloomfield, Pa.) 1877-188?, 1880-12-07
Professional Cards.

VoHN CALVIN WALLIS, Attorney. .at.Law,
~ and District Attorney.
New Bloomfield, Perry Co., Pa.
n8- -0fllce over Mortimer's new store All legal
business promptly aud carefully transacted.
May 4, 1880.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

Many Of our readers have doubt
less heard of the famous travelling
stones Of Australia Similar Curl
osities have recently been found in
Nevada, which are described as al
most perfectly round, the majority
Of them as large as q walnut, and
Of an irony nature. When distri-
butod about upon the floor, table,
or other Lowell surface, within two
or three feet Of each other, they
Immediately begin travelling to-
ward common center, and there
lie huddlej up in a bunch ike a
bunch Of eggs in a nest. A single
stone, removed to q distance of
three and half feet, upon being
released. at once started of, with
wonderful and somewhat comical
CELEBRITY, to join its fellows: taken
away four or five feet, it remained
motionless. They are found in a
region that is comparatively level
and IS nothing but bare rock
Scattered over this barren region
are little basins, from few feet to
o rod or two IN diameter, and it is
in the bottom Of those that the
rolling stones are found. They
are from the size of pea 20 Eve
or six inches IN diameter The
cause of these stones rolling to-
getber IS doubtless TO be found in
the material of which they are
composed, which appcars to be
loadstore' or magnet iron ore
Virginia City Chronicle.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

I-rr.r ttt. r--- .r r.t..
.,,.,.I ~ Cr......-....
oI ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. c.7
t.o... ,.,,. ..... - '' ~, '''''
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,..n- -. f,-,;ri..-.,.,-f..--.... -.
l,.rv 5.,c..-.,. -. -
,,r,...s ;f LII III
rorg;,, otIor .,.7 80. 80.
Min .o-st..,l. .l,. 10 - -.
Tra t~, r... r..,.-. ... ,,....l .'.. a..
.,s,o;r, .r,,.. -..l a.-.a.. -
orr,rar --7 =. -. ~ - ......z
r,or, o,u-,+. .,,t,... 49,. r,i..
l;.rfa, ~, t:.,r.- .-,-..,. IN
a..r, .,... ........ =, '-,'
oe .L,...., .L..........-
.,,o,..4 ru.....
aa.,,..,...,l. - r
-. IT,
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80.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11
North Western Grand Trunk
R, R.
Formerly Chicago G Lake Hwoul
Condensed Timetable.
September 2sh, 1872.

- Nl0pm \. N0INlINs0.L.T 0UIlM =
Accommodation trains leave Lapcer, east, io5
p. m, il:lj p. IN. west, 800 p. M, ll:l5 p. M;
Flint, cast 1900 %. IN, $3.50 =. m. west, slj a.
m, l:20 p. IN.
A through Pullman palace sleeping coach is run
from Lansing 90 Buffalo ON trains passing Flint
at III p. M, aud Lapeer at SOj ,. m.
CHAS. b. PECK, II. FUNNEL, W. L. DAVIS,
Genl Manager, Supt. Genl Tkt.Agt.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11


''''' f1'a'--Ah"'o"s queen
"L don't mean TO reflect on vou,'
sa'd one man TO aAoJhe" NO
was the reply You're DO. polish
e' enough 10 EeAec' on any body
Parson.-Batbor drowsy wealth
en-, this, farmer Jones" Farmer
/. Jones: "Ayc. uarson, r. be-;
minds one o sermon t"a. don't
it3'
Tba uraat,., er Ruori.qo rifle
mon lay. mot CON, abror Tbuy
stijI retain thejr rositior. as fa-
5i,, ,o.-,ts -ptr,aoInh,. Cbron-
iol,
H.. ,......, ,,... ,.,-,,,..-.., ...r,
al -. H. Co.. ,.,,.s'o -
aa-. 81 ,.;.r, r,,....,7 H., .r 1,4
-. -. ,;.,,4 -. r... .,,.,
go, - - ~ d.
a Western ,ournai hea15 "A az
''c'- IL ."'".'1 ,'ci.'oa anu
w. a,,o,,,a .o,. 30 s;,,.,,t
r,;a,.lor,,,t,o 6oD,,rl;oo,
An ola an6'ar says tna' usA
does not suffer m'en pam ltom 0o-
ins hooked. OF course not l5 is
the thought OF no" It's "eIsA. VIII
be lied about that causes hi@ 'n-
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11
..1AIrrrlN.r

h.4aC 0l limitations SEQ that the name OF 4
NJ. knsman D. in the aiass M One bottle.
sold hy dulgis's aud dealers. Price, i0c. 3ic
and tlc. l3iyi
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11
GOING HoHru.
GOING sou1L


fldH NlttlIIIrs
An truins daily except Sundays
Night express i'm both directions inns Wagner
sleeping ear attached 100 and from ~aglHgw and
Bay City and Detroit.
$. r. GALLAWAE, G.. Y. BARRON,
Gcnl Sutt Ggul Pass. Art.
W. W. HEAFEOBD, Travelling Agent
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

A young artist who lives in o
boarding house wants TO know how
he can learn TO play the violin
without disturbing the other board
ers. "Soap your bow, young man,
soap your bow. and bathe the
strings twice o day in sweet oil
Then you can sit up all night and
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11
Flint & Pere Marquette R. R,

Tho shortest, quickest, and most reliable route
TO and from Detroit, Toledo, Cleveland, Ciucin-
natl, Saginaw and Bay City.
GOING FAST, SOUrH AND WEST.
Leave Alpenu daily, except sunday, by Alpcna
and Bay City line of steamers 0t 200 a. m.
GOING NoBrIl-WEsT
Port Huron Bay City and Night
Accom-. Saginuw Mail Express
Toledo, Ly. i0pm
Detroit, gij a m 10 10
Bay City, Ar. n iCum rs p III q 80 ann
GOING SOUTHEAST.
Detroit Detroit Night
Express. Mail. Express.
Bay City, Lv.| 7lOamI COOP m no Jop H.
Detroit, Ar I 30 IN 10 30 p IN. 90 am
Toledo, I'D OO m
Drawing room cars ON morning aud evening
trains between Bay CITY and Detroit extra ch;r-
ges only - cents.
Night express runs Sunday night instead OF
Saturday, An other trains daily except sunday.
SANFORD KELLER, Sup't
J. z. NoUasE, General Ticket Agent.
\. 4. FLETCHER,
Ticket Agent, Alpena, Mich.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

Johnny says his mother makes q
great cry if his little sister goes
without her shade hat She don't
want her to get froclicl, but she
doesn't seem to care o bit how
much his father taus h.m.--EN.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

A Paris Bohemian is telling his
mode of life to a friend from'thc
provincial districts. "Tn the morn
ing / awake, says he, "and ring
for my valet dc chambro.' GLOW,
you keep q valet de chambre 2"
"NYell, no, bat ! keep o bell
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

=. H. DTEP.

Commission dealer bon Pine Hul EARNING LANDS.
l.u. bands ,agminpd, estimated and Soda Ul
commission. Alpng, Mich.
Pine uul farming lands l.y -l.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

Tho modern society belle is like
a locomotive; she dgags a tiam
after her. But, como to think Of
IL. there's q difference between
them; one has q head light, the
other has light hoad.--1x.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

The crab is q very social fish.
II one shakes hands with the toe
Of a batbcr &c alway wants to
come ont of the water with him
and have a good time.--New Or
leans Picayuue.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

Tanner cocktails are all the rage
at Ocean Grove. They are made
by adding one ounce Of cracked
ice to three ounces of filtered rain
water. They are considered very
healthy and fattening.-Free Press.
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

The truth must be told. Ruddi-
nose is fond OF the cup. Hearing
the reading of the story Of Dives
and Lazarus, the other day, he re-
marked: "Woll, its worth know
ing that there are situations where
n man Graves for water" Boston
Transcript
Alpena weekly argus. [volume] (Alpena, Mich.) 1871-1893, 1880-08-11

Has received tLe endorsement and recommended
uon of emmlneni Physicians aud Scientific Men
every whore 30 hu. been introduced.
Daily Republican., 1880-02-18

Hon. Mr.. AcKLEN, from Louisiana, is
again in trouble at Washington, and
as on several future occasions wsman
is at the bottom of it. The House is
apparently gravely considering the
question of his expulsion. This is the
third public trouble into which Mr..
Acklen amative propensities have led
him, but somehow he seems never to
have any trouble in getting elected to
Congress. OF course the present inves-
tigation is all for effect. Acklen, though
deserving it, will never be expelled.
No Democrat, no matter of what crime
he is guilty, can be spared from the
House now.
Daily Republican., 1880-02-18

Republican vote, and unmindful Of the
taOt that in a few years the freedmen
will be as intelligent, and more SO than
the average Of the Democracy, the DEM
ocracy Of South Carolina would for the
present, for the sake Of holding them
selves in power few years more in a
stolen State, be willing to go back upon
their whole past record and make intel
ligence test of suffrage. The plan
will not work. The freedmen and all
others must either be allowed to vote
unmolested, or the Democratic party
will be under the necessity of inaugu-
rating another campaign Of blood and
violence.
Daily Republican., 1880-02-18
The scholarship Test.

The proposition Of the Democrats Of
South Carolina TO enact law disfran-
chising all men who cannot write their
names, seems to meet with the favor OF
many members Of that party in other
States. 1t is argued that its adoption
would stimulate men TO learn TO read
and write and the condition of the more
ignorant class would thereby be i'm
proved, and the community be the gain
or. There is some ground for this con-
clusion, but every one can readily see
that the ..originators OF the proposition
were not prompted by any such mo-
tive. They wish to retain the ascend.
ency of the Democratic party ty less
Objectionable method than the use of
the shot gun, as that is becoming re-
voting in the different sections of the
country, and initiates in a Presiden-
tial election against the party which
seeks to profit by it. In other words it
is more polite to disfranChise the colorsd
men by legislative enactment, than by
deeds Of violence, and hence the pro-
posed enactment of this new qualifca-
tion for voter. A measure that oper-
ates benefcially in one State should
prove equally satisfactory in another. |
II it is good thing in South Carolina
it should be equally good in New York,
and we suggest that the Legislature
now in session at Albany should in
luire into the expediency of its adop-
ton. If such test should be made uni.
Vsrsal, the Republicans should be the
gamers by it as in all the Northern and
Western States they would BE- in the
as outside Of the colored pop
llation the unlettered or ignorant class
re almos. universally members OF the
o-called Democratic party, and are
eady to follow it through every dsvi-
US way that may be deemed necessary
o secure the ascendency in the coun- c
lis Of the country. There are many :
onorable men acting with the Demo.
cratic party, and We would appeal to
hem to look we'll to the tendency and j
influence Of that party before they are
day older If they would not forfeit
leir self respect and blacken their
God name by being made responsible
or deeds that they must necessarily '
,ndemn.
Daily Republican., 1880-02-18

lr Is SAID that the supporters Of Sen
ator Bayard are quite certain that he
will get the vote of the solid South,
and consequently the nomination fol
the Presidency. Other gentlemen on
good terms with Senator Thurman are
certain that he is the coming man. Til
den, with his barl's, laughs at all o.
them, knowing that money is the win
ming card. The claims of these gentle
men do well enough to talk over and
speculate on, but there is melancholy
tone in all the conversations amongst
Democrats. The coming man will be a
Republican, whether Grant, Blaine,
Sherman or Washburne is nominated
make no difference.
Daily Republican., 1880-02-18

II THERE was any class Of people to
whom the reduction Of the tariff on
steel rails would be benefit We might
suppose it would be the clsss Of people
engaged in building railroads, or rail
road corporations, and yet we see by
the proceedings of Congress that the
Broad Top, Northern Pennsylvania,
Central Of New Jersey, Delaware and
Bound Brook, Philadelphia and Read
ing, Pennsylvania, Washington City,
Virginia Midland and Great Southern,
New Haven and Northampton, Phila-
delphia Wilmington and Baltimore,
Milwaukee and St. Paul Railway and
other railroads, and the Delaware and
Hudson Canal Company have strongly
demonstrated against the proposed re-
due ion OF tariff duties. When parties
Immediately interested want no inter
fetcnce with the present tariff We would
think that others should let well enough
alon4.
Daily Republican., 1880-02-18

PAPER Is nlGH and it is still getting
higher. Newspaper publishers all
over the country in view Of this fact
have either curtailed the Size of their
papers, or have increased the subsorip-
ton prize. Our readers, however may
rest assured that we will continue the
publication Of the REPUBLICAN at its
present size and its present price, OF
course we feel the effect Of paper going
up one-thiri higher in price, which
necessarily reduces our profits, but we
would much ratherbtear the loss, than
to require our patrons and those who
support us 10 bear it by advancing our
subscription price. The REPUBLICAN rests
upon sold foundation and will al
ways be a. your doors to greet you on
your return home weary from day of
manual toll.