Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-12-10
HaWk-Eyptems.


learn show he can catch live wasp
for scientific purposes, without ipjuring
it % Right by the tail, son; right by
the tip end of the tail. Squeezs hard,
the wasp wont mind it particle, and if
it seems to be injured any that you can
see, send us the bill and we'll pay for q
new wasp.
"Give me the hand that will never
deceive me-" sings the poet. And the
autograph" man of the Lo veil Citizen
says he wants the cards stocked so as
to bring the four aces into his fist"
Thus it is that the warm aspirations OF
sensitive and roaring genius are
nipped in the bud By the icy chill of
scholarly criticism.
"Why can't play on Sunday ?" de-
manded the boy. Because it's wicked
replied the:::fatker. Well, then, can't
I go with you aud Uncle Dan to the
beer garden q Just then father was
called into the house in feminine tone
of language, aud the neighbors after
wards noticed that Uncle Dan kind OF
seemed to go off to the beer garden
alone, like.
Singular, but you can't hire woman
to patrunize lady dentist. The trOub-
her eyes to roam all over the customer
dress, takes in the color, material.
trimming, style, and estimates the cost
while she IDLY wanders all around III
the sufferers mouth with a probs, and
j.Ls it at random into any cavity it
happens to touch.
brace ur, old man. brace up, and
hit harder next time!' Now, there is
nothing particularly irritating in the
language itself, the trouble was that
old AIR. Brown, to whom the cordial
advice was addressed, had just fallen
down two flights Of stairs, aud was sit
tlns IN the hallway, prone, or at least
comparatively prone, upon the floor,
with his two legs sticking out through
the sh altered pausl OF tue dor.
IT, you think you would like to enjoy
dish of frogs legs, don't pause to
look ut the colony OF live frogs in the
window of the restaurant. If you do
that, your lunch will be u failure We
have al ways accounted for our inability
to really eujpy frogs legs at the table,
to the fact that We pr, faced the first
hlsh with view OF the aquarium. A
frog is not like fruit; there is nothing
appetlzIDg in the appearance Of the raw
material.
Tue papers are making great fuss
about man in New York who fell
out of third story window, anu
Is ting we'll. The fall wasn't 80
much to make such fuss about. Did
you ever have pillow hanile reach you
one in the ribs Wien Oh we're Worrying
across field full of sassatras grubs !?
After You w had q few doses of that,
falling ut of the window will be fun
tor you, and stroke Of lightning will
only MAKE you tbiuk Of old times.
The Cui"auAau may not be very
desirabie immigrant in large Quantities,
but if he isn't lntiuitely more desirable
AZ nelghoor and more Of Christian
than the cowardly brutes who mob his
home and tranple him to death, We
hou't want any neighbors. Aud we say
this, and affirm it and will stick to it,
even while knowing there is II possibil
ny that We may be nominated for Pres
lLeut in 1884. When it comes to u
choice between the hoodlums and the
Chinese, We will stand with both feet
On tho broad Chluese plank.
Now that the boys have got back to
school and are fairly settled down to
work, we may say that it is the public
verdict that the Princeton students dis
play tue greatest intellectually in their
shoulders, but the comprehensive
sweep of the brow Of the back in thet
Ii award men is much admired. Yale
displays Indications of the most intense
mental concentration III it's feet, but it
is believed that the West Pointers are
the hardest kickers. 1t is quite natural
that they should be. Quite natural.
"Ah, said the steer to the butcher,
and is it thus We meat p "Ay."
said the butcher, land it is not my
fault that We did not meat BEFORE"
Aud he swung his dreadful pole axe
above his head, but just then the wiry
Texan caught the man of blood on his
agile horns aud lifted him over the fence
iuto the sheep pens. ~ would not
make calf the fuss about it that you
uo,' muttered the Texan, and address
Ing brief Remark in bass voice to
the attendant, who Immediately crawled
under the house, the wild son of the
ranges skipped out over the prairies
and chased farmer o mile and half
just for the fun of the thing.
The shoe difficulty with the King OF
Burmah has Mt last been overcome. A
bright idea has at last been conceived
by King Thibau and his council, and in
future the King may be seen by Brit
ish representative or any foreign mis-
sion in proper style without unbooting.
A large building is to be erected within
the palace enclosure. to be called the
<oreign office. In this room a hand
some dais will be raised, and on this the
King will appear. The embassy will
oe seated on CHAIRS with their shoes on,
aud must be seated before the King APP
pears, will remain seated when his
M'jesty appears, and must not stir from
their chairs until his Majesty is gone.
The k,"g will not see anybody's feet, as
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