The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-05-06
HOW SHE GOT NOAH.

HOW SHE GOT NOAH.
A Detroit Justice of the Peace was
the other day interviewed by a woman
about 45 years of age, who announced
that she would be married OH q cer-
tain night at her farm house, and his
Honor had been selected to come out
and perform the ceremony. She ask
cd how much the fee was, aud paid it
aud took receipt, business conclud-
ed, she sat down, filled q short clay
pipe with tobacco and INDUCED in a
smoke.
"You won't funk out on this?" she
said, as she rose to go, after exhaust
ing the contents of her pipe.
"OhI no-I1l be there, sure"
"So1l l, and soil he, or I'll know
the reason whyi He's been clawing
of . little lately, but I'll make him
toe the mark, see il don't"
"I hope nothing unpleasant will oc-
: cur" observed the court.
- al hope 30, too, but I'm going to be
prepared for q scrimmage just the
same. You always back the weaker
sex, don't your"
"Y-yes," softly replied the justice.
$50 do ], and guess we'll be all
right. Don't forget the date"
His Honor went out last night pre-
pared to perform the ceremony with
promptness and goodwill. He found
about q dozen persons assembled at
the house and the woman looked gor-
geous under the light of three kerO-
sene lamps. She had her pipe going,
and her face was covered with bland
smile as she shook hands and said:
sTake q cheer. The old man isn't
here yet, but I'll send for him." Then,
turning 10 boy i'm the room she con-
tlnued:
"Samuel, % and tell the old man
it's time 10 come in and be spliced."
Samuel departed on his errand, and
after the lapse of ten minutes he re-
turned and responded:
The old man ia over to Martins
He's got his boots off and is whiting
out q wooden cat, and don't believe
he cares two cents about being marri
ed to you or anybody else"
"The widow refilled her pipe, tool
several strong whiffs, and then said Il
q long legged farmer who seemed hun
CRY for the bridal feast:
"Moses, you 60 over and tell Noaf
Iwant him!"
Noses departed. He was absent tel
minutes, and then lounged in ani
said:
"Says he is quite comfortable wher'
= he II. Guess he isn't ON the MARI.
very much"
"Judge," began the woman as sh
looked around for her bonnet, "yo'
play . game of fox-and-geese will
q Noses while 60 over and see abou
this this thing. There's going to- b
q marriage here tonight, and I'll be
new hoss-rake on itT
She was absent about twenty min
utes, and then returned in compan.
with Noah. He had neither hat no
coat on, and only one boot, and bot
were painting for breath.
"G.go ahead, Judgep she gasped
as she hauled the groom into the cen
ter of the room. He heard me com
ing and got ont and run four time
around the orchard, but here he Is y
sDo you want to marry this VIC
man p asked the official as he CAV
Noah looking over.
@Yaasi" was the blunt reply.
"Then why did you run away7"
"'Spose Fm going to give right il
the first thing?v demanded the indig
nant Noah. ell go and fix up an,
mo, darliDg-no you wOn't, IN
pet amethyst7" chuckled the widow
"We1l be married right here and now
boots or no bootsF'
She crowded him against the table
Moses stood behind the pair to rem
der any needed aid, and the knot wa
soon tied. AS soon as the ceremOn.
was over Noah skipped out of tn
back door, but no one pursued. Th
widow called the guests to supper AM
remarked:
Sit right down and don't worr
about the groom. I've been nine year
working him up to this, but he'll b
little bashful for a few weeks to come
Have some OF this roast pig, Nj
COurt."-Detroit Free Press.