Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1880-02-05
4 PERSONAL" And WHAT CAME OF IT.

II wonder why so much money is
wasted by people on matrimonial adj
vertisements," said Will Fowler to me
one day.
This was apropos of nothing in par
tioular, for not word had been said for
ten minutes; but then he was always
popping absurd questions at you.
can understand a mans going to
the theater," he continued, "or sub
scribing to a kitchen, or even being
fool enough to send bouquet to some
pretty girl, but why on earth he should
tumble any more coin into the hungry
pockets of these newspaper men is more
tran l can understand. Where does the
fun come imp Of course the chaps who
advertise haven't an idea of marrying
on such an introduction, and equally, of
course. no woman nowadays is goose
enough to answer such an 'ad that
il, no woman with whom it would be
any pleasure to correspond"
It was n gloomy March day, and Will
and | were toasting our feet before the
firs in his Chicago office. He was a
married man. with a pretty wife and
Aeveral children, very clever writer.
and possessed of a private income more
bhan equal to his needs; |, younger
class college friend of his, and pin
feathered lawyer with certain heart en-
gagements which precluded all idea of
other love affairs. The topic broached
by him was argued pro and con, and
che result was that | bet him a dinner
that carefully-werded matrimonial
advertisement would bring in at least
fifty answers, the loser TO pay for the
A
in which he good naturedly took part,
the following card was written and sub
seluently published in n Sunday paper
noted for its personals:
"AvING BEEN A wIDOwER FOR
"a two years, l wish to marry again.
am thirty-fivo years old, five feet ten inches
in hoight, thirty mine inches al ound the chest
and have excellent health, mental and physi-
cal. Being of a somewhat phlcgmatic tenn
permanent, neither ask nor proffer ardent
love. but simply desire that there shall be
mutual respect, as my chief reason Tor marry
ing is that during my frequent business alb
ssnces from home my little six -year-old girl
may be let in cha ge OF one who will guard
her with mothers care. am commercial
traveller for large Eastern house, own
suhurhan cottage, which IL comfortably fur
nished and have $4,000 in u. s. bonds. Per-
fect respect will be felt for any lady who may
answer this advertisement, and absolute Sc
orocy will be observed, whether the application
bo iavorably received or not. Only those
need apply who will filirly answe-' to tho fol-
lowing description: Age, between twenty and
thirty; education, good; disposition, not
given to pickering or fault-hnding; health,
good. and especially must be tree from any
pulmonary complaint; appearance, rather
pleasant than handsome; reputation that will
bear the closest scrutiny. In return for these
excellent qualities modest home and gentle
treatment are offered. Address EDWARD
CLARKE. - Office.
Monday mornings mail settled the
wager, for by that delivery more than
the requisite number OF letters came to
hand. By Monday evening the city cor
respondence was about exhausted, but
for days atterward notes came dropping
IN from the country districts, the last
one coming all the way from Salt Lake
City. until the total number received
amounted to one hundred and twenty
six. Of these large moiety had been
seut on speculation by women of the
lowest cla6s. The next largest assort-
ment came from the servant-girl class,
and = nice collection OF pencil marks,
bad English and dirt they were. Some
had come from sewing-women. telling
pitifnl stories. many Of which bore evi-
dcncc of their truth in their incoher-
smce. Others, again-and there were
. good many of thase-had been sent in
Joke, as we could easily see. while
dozen, perhaps. were startling rewelar
tons OF life and sorrow among edu-
Gated women, whose want struggled
with the feeling Of shame. Tho last
mentioned letters made rs feel very un-
comfortable and blackguardish. for
their genuine grief, modification and
self-abasement were = rebuke TO our
thoughtless joke, the only excuse for
which was the fact that no such real
istic results had been expected. Will,
being q good-naiured. generous fellow,
saived hfs conscience by giving pacnDi-
airy aid in several instances where in
veatigation proved tLat mid was needed.
While glancing over the second batch
Of letters. will suddenly cried out:
"By Georgei here's prize, and
Jolly one, too, after this alternate mass
Of slush and sorrow; just listen to It.
will you. and bear In mind It's my
booty, as made the find"
lie then reads - follows.
MsEW WAuxxa, VIA, March Is.
~ EDwAKD CL.AKxn nff1f-I believe
Foa'rs q real hnmbug, Ned, sad that you're
npA ned ct al, nor widowar. nor anything
esudving your little romsnse, l have made up
usy asind that yoz are one oi two OWLS;