The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1880-10-08
FLOATING PARAGRAPHS.

ALcoTT's little poem on the baby is
Massachusetts,:
Baby, new to earth and sky,
Soon as born begins to cry.
Day and night does baby yell,
And makes its daddy mad as-Well,
Mad as thing.
A sAmBoAT upset on Lake Huron q
few days ago, and the first person saved
was dressmaker Survival of the ftist,
as usual.
ALL youths are not fitted for college
education. 1t is not best to make one
story brain try to carry three-story edu-
cation.
AN exchange has an article entitled
"The Best Farming" The best farm
ing, we take it, is that which Is done by
some other man.
A WESTERN plumber takes half q
column of his local newspaper to advertise
'Cast Iron Sinks" But great Scott
who ever said it didn't?
YOUNG man know thyself. A So silk
hat looks well on some persons, but we
can't say it becomes a fellow whose
salary is too weak to stand up to 81 a
day.
AN exchange says: ''Good wives are
wanted in the northwest" Surely this
is not strange. Is there any place where
they are nSt wanted?-ELDlirG Free
Press.
WHEN writer says a certain thing is
impossible to describe" and then uses
half column in its description, he
doubtless means that nobody but himself
could describe it.
A MAN in Joliet, Ill, sold his wife for
$40; and now he wants to return half of
the money to ease his conscience. He
says he would have no conjunction
about cheating man in horse trade,
but this is too tough on the purchaser.
THEY were on their wedding tour, and
she said: Darling, why did you choose
me?" 81 saw you sweeping the library
one day." "Then you chose me because
[ did not disdain the broom?" "No,
but because YOU could not handle it
we'll"
FATE of a Tilted butcher:
He tried in drink TO drown his cares,
And there found no relief,
But daily grew more woe-begOne;
You never sausage grief.
At last his weary soul found rest,
His sorrows now are Ger;
No tickle maid now troubles him;
Pork reacheT, he's no more.
81 NOW have something for rainy
day." said old Mr.. McSnifkin the other
evening, as he entered the room and
greeted his family, GA windfall, wind
falI!'' screamed Mrs. McSnifkin, in an
ecstacy of mental paralysis. "No, no,
he responded, quietly, as he drew his
slippers from under the sofa, cts an
umbrella.
A GENUINE innocent: DIR. l. called
upon lady acquaintance the other day
and was met at the door by the lady's
little girl. He asked her to tell her
mamma that Dr. l. had called. The
child went up stairs and presently re-
turned. 20 Did you tell your mammal
asked the doctor. eyes. !" "And what
did she say?" "She said, 90, pshawP "
ALrrrnE old, but seasonable: Recently
matron made her appearance on the
piazza where her daughter and the lat
ter's young man had gone several hours
before to enjoy the evening air and
moonshine, and began looking around as
if she had lost something. "What are
you looking for map asked the young
lady. "The morning papers, was the
reply. The porch was vacated.
A SAN Francisco man went to dem
fist, while temporarily insane, and said
he wanted all his teeth extracted. The
! dentist advised HIM not tOget rid of them
| guing that false set would be far handler
and more comfortable As he did not
seem crazy, the dentist performed the
| job. On recovering his reason he brought
suit for $500 damages under the Cali
fornia law against professional malprac-
tice
The English language has to suffer
when an advertisement for New York
steamboat excursion comes to be written:
For instance the following extract from
Rockaway excursion "ad:" Moon
light on the Flowing Sea-" Taking adj
vantage of the beautiful moon, whose
soft rays will adorn the dancing sea
waves with silver tips, the immense
palace steamer Grand Republic, prettily
decorated with colored lanterns, will
make an elegant evening excursion to
Rockaway" ga romatic sail of twenty
minutes on the mighty Atlantic. 'FYast
hotels glaring in their gaslight." ga
dip in the surf by moonlight amid de-
licious music" And all this (including
one grand admission to the pier) for so
cents.