Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1880-02-21
Concerning Elopements.
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who have attained their majority are not bound
to ask for parental permission in order to marry,
one would think that opponents were seldom
excuSable; but parental authority can make IT.
self felt In many unpleasant ways, which some
times force children to make runaway matches.
Say that girl is very deeply in love with man
whom her friends dislike. She knows that If
she mentioned his name in the family circle it
would lead to seedlings. maledictions and petty
prosecutions without number. 1t Is not every
OF thing; besides which, as the endurance of it
could bring about no good result, seeing that q
girl who is dependent on her parents for sup
port cannot practically be married nom their
house unless they please, elOpement suggests
itself as the only solution OF the difficulty. 1t is,
at the best, but very sorry expedient, and one
which, 1t may be presumed, few girls adopt
with small bag of linen in ones hand, to meet
the bridegroom in a cold, empty church. and
there to be married, without wedding dress,
honeymoon tour with the feeling that one has
quarrelled for life with father, mother,
brothers and sisters-this is measure which
nghtness OF heart by very thoughtless girl or
by one of the highest spirits. 1t has been no.
uced, however, that the girls who have happy
been much bullied by their friends, and this is
only natural, for the latter fear the wrath OF
their family most. The happy. girl, who for
once meets resistance to her wishes to which
she has not been accustomed, fretS under the curb
like FESTIVE fly and deciding to bolt, reflects
that she shall be able to make matters all right
with her friends by-and by. But the girl who
has been brought up under harsh rule by strong
minded parents is aware that she must expect
tmplacabe resentment as the penalty for dis
obedience. If she nerves herself to elope, she
will only take this step with fear and tremb-
ling; and years of her after life may be spent in
abject sorrow at being unable to effect a recon-
Citation with parents whom she will be taught
to believe she has deeply injured. These second
acts of the elopement dramas are often more I'M
pleasant for the actors and the third ones which
are apt to eliminate In diSinheritance, are less
agreeable still, but these chiefly concern the
men.
Men elope for reasons-which will not always
bear such close looking into as those which girls
can urge in their defence. A young man of
good character, Industry and fair professional
prospects, has SO many points In his favor when
urging his suit, he Is so sure to bear down pa
brave, constant and patient that an elopement
in his case must generally be taken as an indi-
cation of weakness Men elope from vanity,
wishing to prove that they are their own mas
ter's; from deficient courage when they 'hate
rows" from shame when they have got en-
tangled with girls who are much their Interiors
Is social station; and from cunning greed when
they wish to secure heiresseS. Elopements In
view of mesadiances are the conmonest things
going. They seldom lead to much good, because
II young gentleman has espoused house
maid, he may possibly obtain forgiveness from
his friends, but he is not likely to get leave to
Introduce his wife into his family circles. AS a
consequence he must expect coniugal tiffs scenes
OF weeping and Mysteries, followed up by choice
between quarrelling with his kinsfolks or seeing
his wife take French leave of his roof. l knew
an unfortunate man who, to The disgust of his
connections, mostly personages of high rank,
his mother after awhile, but he was unable to
prevail upon her to receive his wife, who there
upon began to yeX his soul with orders to be
more Jealous In interceding for her. At last the
mother relented that her son might have peace,
and day was appointed for the two ladies to
meet. They sat In glum silence for the first
few minutes of their Interview; then epigrams
were exchanged, then recrim1nattOnS, till the
voices growing shriller and shriller, scene of
Shrieking words ensued, the whole concluding
with fainting fits and with the deep disgrace OF
the husband. who found he had estranged both
his wife and his mother. Men have generally
this advantage in their Opponents, that when
the wife's family pardons the husband is forth
may not be worth much when it introduces
man of delicate nerves into distinguished
circle OF persons who privately scorn him; nor
when it procures him the honor of being ad-
selling bloaters outside his club.
Nogeneral rule can be laid down as to the
propr1ety or Improperly OF elopement. Every
separate case must be judged on its merits. If,
on the one hand, parents often throw too much
water on the flames of f1rstlove, it must be re-
membered that the experience of elderly people
Is worth something in forming augurieS about
marriage, and that, moreover, the prohibitive
"No" is often pronounced under the sincere be-
lief that the young people who want to get
married are not so seriously in love with each
other as they appear to be. It is but seldom
that parents will remain obdurate when they
see that mutual attachment has stood the
wear and tear of years, and that real unhapp-
ness is caused to the lovers by Withholding
from them permission to marry. 1 had written
thus far when lady to whom L had been read
Ing this little essay asked me whether consid-
cred that any girl was bound to languIsh for
years simply to convince puzzle headed friends
that she had made good choice in her love.
to fling our best years away in that fashion. OF
course, If people are in love they ought to mar
ry anywhere and anyhow, without caring for
nybody. That is the way to be happy"
postulate which lays down that happiness is
the inevitable result of love match has in it a
refreshing novelty, and conveys, by the by, a
husband.