The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1880-10-28


best? They may be good men for
the presidency, but saw more in the
papers about Garfield and Hancock,
and thought they must be splendid.
Perhaps I was mistaken"
carried and Hancock amt run
ming together, 1 tell ye, retorted Mr..
Spoopendyke.
''They are running against each 9th
er."
"There is another thing" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, complacently 'if they
are doing that, 1 perfectly agree with
you in thinking that English and Ar
thur are the best. They are perfect
gentlemen, and Mr.. Arthnr is 50
handsome I saw his picture"
Don't you know anything at all,
scarcely ?" demanded Spoorendyke.
"English and Arthur a'int twins, they
are running against each other, too.
Where'd you find out about politics
anyway-in a COOK b1ok2 Pr'al you
think these vegetables, Mrs. Speopen-
dyke. But, they amt, they are men
with arms and legs; they ain't things
to make pudding Of"
&C r;ainly 1 know that, A,ospon, =
ed Mrs. SIoopendyke cheerfuIly, but if
Mr.. Garfield is running against Mr..
Hancock, and Mr.. English
against Mr.. Arthur, I don't see what
we're going to do. How are we going
to choose?
''But they have got to run against
each other" explained Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, with rising emphasis. ''yOu
don't suppose candidates run together
like lot of hens, do ye."
"If Mr.. Hancock and Garfield run
against each other, wont Mr.. Hancock
have the hest of it :"
Why should he demaned Mr.. Spoo-
pendYke
"Causc hes 50 big. If they
we're running together he would get
beaten, cause he's toe fat. lie could
not"
oDoes anybody in the country
know what you're talkingabout? ? Dc
you s'poso they stand off and bump uF
against each other Ike couple OF
freight trains Got an idea they're
/ going to roll up their trousers and ru
q leg race? I tell ye. Hancock isrnn
ming for one President and Garfield
is running for another. Now dive un
derstand
ooh, that's it. Now / begin to see
into It returned Mrs. Spoopcndy ke
joyously. So, ifyou want to vote fol
two men for the Presidency, YOU mus
vote for English and Arthur. / under
stand it perfectly now. But"
ooh, yes; you understand It, dom
ye?" yelped Mr. Spoopendyke
you're the politician Of seven ages
| All you need is registration bool
and brass band to be whole politi
cal campaign. I tell ye Hancock i
running for President and so is Gar
field, anb Arthur and English are run
ming for Vice-President. Can you un
derstand that
''Ycs, do but do you think Al
thur and English will get it? Irea
in one"
Get it? They both can't get ii
: Only one of them can get it." ex,Iain
} ed Mr.. Spoopendyke, supprcssins hi
passion. "What do you think tn
Vice-Presidency is--a pair of pigeon
5 holes One Of them will be Presi
] dent and the other Vice-Prosident
Now, can you bore that through you
, skull and remember it ?"
why, of course; but 1 feel sOrr
for poor 3Er. Garfield and Hancocl
c They'll be awfulIy disappointed, b.
of course we cant help it. Whic
will I've President, do you think NJ
Arthur or English"
"Dod CAST it ! raved Mr.. Spoope
9 dyke.
"You don't know enough to go
sleep when you're tired. Don'tI te
you Garfield or Hancock will be Pro
ident, and English or Arthur, Vic
President Say it over again al
4 again until you can remember it. It
tickets are Hancock and English, III
Garfield and Arthur, comprehel
that.
n "Why certainly. saw those nam
N on the banners. remember it no
IN Which will be elected ,"
IN That's the question" rejoincd y
" Spoopendykc, sarcasticIy ''If n
at English can carry his own State a
Ohio, he will be elected, but if y
v Garfield can carry his own State a
e, Indiana, he will have an exccllo
al show"
ly "What will hIr. Hancock and \
at Arthur carry ," asked Mrs. Spoop
a dyke, with an air Of absorbing int
90 est.
OK Garry !phowled Mr. Spoopcndy
ire they'll carry swilI to the pigs, a
,us that's more'n you know how to
. What dye ,sposc they'll carry p