River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1880-01-08
THE DINGWHIPFS.

reasons we invariably pronounce III
genial fellow, and, next best to hi
own good wife, he loves good company
And a wonderful way, too. has Mr.
Dngwhih of shining up that little home
Of his out there in the suburbs of the
town, so far that the street cars jus
turn round and waddle back before
they get half way. So you see there
must be something more than ordina
rily bright and attractive at the Ding
Whit home that draws US there at leas
one evening out o. every week.
"Been cipherin' on a new dodge FOL
another time down at the house," sale
Mr.. Dingwhiff to little group of us a.
the postoffice corner yesterday. 'FlS
it for tonight if you say so" said Mr.
Dngwhiff, with lowering of the voice
and a really serious face, you see its
gettin sOrto mOnOtOnous like down
home. Been some queer things goin
on there for several nights past; the wo-
men folks, you know, kindo copgrega-
tin in of evenings, and talkin spiritual
ism till dern if Myrtle amt afeerd to
turn the lamp out when she com es
to bed. Oh, it's worryin' her-nO mis-
take about that, and the more she wor-
ries about it the more she believes IN It.
and the fact is, her mind needs divert
in'-that's it-and now how many OF
You fellows can l count on for to-
night?;
''Pm with you'll said Mr. Hunchley,
with unwOnted eagerness.
"Here, tool" said Mr.. Wray, who, by
the bye, as Mr.. Dingwhif once remark
ed, "can Just blow the peth out of any
flute that tOots."
and mere, toor chimed the third
voice, cheerilv.
Its fixed" said Mr.. Dingwhiff; "now
look here" He drew the little group OF
us a little further round the corner. and
after low, muttered conversation, in
which his little fat fore-fnger waved
above us like baton, and with which
our three heads nodded in attentive
harmony, he left us laughing like lot
Of boys.
Believe me or not" said Mr.. Hunch-
ley, with extravagant warmth, gazing
after the retreating figure of Mr.. Ding
Whit, "B'lieve me or not, gentlemen,
but blame me if could marry man
like that p
"W'y bless my soul !" said Mr.. Ding
Whit, with an air of pleased surprise, as
the gentle Mrs. Dingwhiff led us into
the coy little room that evening. IVY
bless me, gentlemen, this is delectable
surprise, indeed Git EN- chairs, Myr-
lie, git 'em chairs Here's my wifes
mother come to see us, gentlemen; and
here's my wife's friend, Miss Miller,
amt it and here's her other friend,
-Mrs.-introduce EN-, Myrtle, in
troduce 'em %
''There now," said Mr.. Dingwhiff, with
an air Of gossipy content, IF this amt
pleasant, / don't know I've been look
in helplessly over the top OF my book
At the ladies the whole blessed evening,
and a vainly wishin' that | was about
three more men, that / might do some
thin, don't You know, towards enter
tainin' 'em. Law, | couldn't to save
me, take care of more'n one-my wife
of course; and so I've just been a-leavin'
the three of 'em to better company,
and irwin to interest myself in this here
spiritualism book that Myrlie's picked
up somers- Bnt how did it happen,
continued Mr.. Dingwhiffs with another
burst of wOnderment, ''how did it hap
pen that you three gentlemen should
all drop in, tonight of all nights that
we most wanted you and least expected
you? Tell Us that !"
And, as Mr.. Hdnchley entered into
an artistic and highly ingenious expla
nation as to how the occurrence had
really been brought about, and rs the
attentive listeners gathered closer be
Meath the spell of his enchanting rhetor
ic, the melancholy Mr.. Wray, with list
less AIR, took up the idle book that lay
astride the fat knee of our host, anc
at once became absorbed in its peru
sal.
"Hullo p said Mr.. Hunchley, abrupt
w abandoning his theme. "Hullo
here! What's Wray up to that my us
ually entertaining gossip has no charm
for him?"
"Hush!' said Mr.. DingwhiG, with
mock gravity. "Hes in among the
spirits! wonderful book, though" he
continued, as though speaking to him
self; then with an impatient flourish O.
the hand call nonsense, of course, but II
is queer-this spirit business, or what
ever it saint i!?'
"Oh, that's III" said Hunchley, with a
dubious nod. Eyes, indeed, some won.
derfuI developments in spiritualism o.
late They tell me that down here al
Terre Haute or Lafayette-forgoi
which place-nC matter-they seem tC
have some marvellous clairvoyants anC
mediums down there, materialists, OF
whatever you call them; and they real
~ have performed some wonderful feats
of late. Wei, spiritual.sts generally,
believe, now claim that the thing l;
coming nearer to focus every day
Where was il / read not long ago, ful
account OF a marriage in heaven? Disre
wemher now Just who were the con
tracing parties, but anyway. 1t was de
scribed as quite recherche IN all repect
full particulars as 20 all notableS present
accurate and elaborate description o
groom. bride, trOusseaus, etc, etc
Medium that reported the fair stand:
ready to make affidavit that everything
was Just as stated"
"StutIl" said Mr.. Dingwhitf, with
faint attempt to laugh.
Now, Percy" broke in Mrs. Ding
wniH. reprovinely; "you must not SAY
such thipgsl We little know or dare
Judge of the mysterious workings of th'
Infinite. Amt that so Mr.. Hunch
ley?'
.Yes indeedr' responded Mr.. Hunch
ley, with o deep sigh.
"Why, Huncnley," exclaimed Mr.
Dingwhiff, excjtedly, you don't mean tt
tell me that man OF your intelligence
and research, aud information, is sucl
a fool as TO believe one iota of this clap
trap business about spirits and"
"Percyl Percy cried Mrs Dingwhiti
appealingly.
why, my dear sir, said Mr.. Hunch
lev. gravely, ''have you ever investigat
cd this matter? Tell me that before yo'
venture to so slurringiy interrogate m
regarding my belief"
Have YOU investigated iu' aSket
Mr. Dingwhiff. compromislngly.
Il have" said Mr.. Hunchley. with
naughty air aad an assuring glance a
Mrs. Dlngwhifl, whose pale face lighte
up with actual radiance; Il have IL
yestigated," said Mr.. Hunchley; "anC
moreover, my dear sir, may say tbs
| myself was once as skeptical as yo
dare to be this minute-why, do yo
know" ne broke OIL abruptly with
tone OF awe, beneath which the ladie
sat with c!asped hands and parted lip:
while Mr. Dingwhih writhed uneaslly,-
do you know, my dear Mr.. Dingwhif