The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1880-10-16
fUNNYGRAPHS.
SOAR feat. balloon ascension.


SOAR feat.-A balloon ascension.
A GRAVE error. -Burying man alive
The aim of shrewd beer seller is to
draw a bead on his lager.-NcIc orleans
Pic0Yu11C.
IT was the dying poker player who
said: Il hear the angels calling me, y
and then gave up the pot.
A HORSE laugh may be Hay, hay.
--RoDe Sentinel Neigh, neigh. --Nc'r
H0Ccn RcgiStcr.
"WHAT will you give me if | restore
your eyesight?" asked the Quack. Il
will see, replied the blind man.
"THIs seems to be, aw, the fall stile.
! aw," remarked Mr.. Toglofty, as he
picked himself up from the other side of
the fence. -Nc1C Hdrcn RcgiSter.
An illiterate colonel, about to join his
regiment, secured the country to find
what he called hors de combat, which
he thought was French for war-horse
JUST imagine George Washington
wearing a single barreled eye-gIass.-
h. And just imagine Ben Butler wear
! ing powdered wig and knCe-brecchcs.
-NOrriSto1rn Her0id
One consolation in being rich is to
know that if vour daughters can't find
American husbands. money will hire
some rheumatic, kuock-kneed old count
to take them off your hands. Detroit
/ Free Press
! 4 South HuL debating club is wrest-
ling with, Can community exist with
out women p We think it might exist
I for while, but then if wouldn't know
what was gong on. E,UiiRgton Hunk
! eye.
"THERE Are No Birds in Last Year.
/ Nests" Is the title of Il song Probably
not. If it were equally sure that there
are no rats i'll last years rat holes the
public mind would be more at rest
. PhjI0dciphjo Rccord
An exchange remarks that "the Chi
ncse can handle mortars and produce
great destruction" inexperienced drug
I clerks can compete with Chinese cheap
/ labor III this respect and give them
points, besides. 4 Cincinnati COHlmer-
cinI.
WHEN ] was young, SAID Sizzerpen,
"people told me | could write if ! would,
and | didn't believe them. Just as soon,
however, as they had convinced me, it
seems | had convinced them. When |
| thought | could write, the people thought
| couldn' t. '-BOstOu Transcript
A GALVESTON man, who had been
away for number of years, paid the
city flying visit Somebody asked him
how he found things Everything has
grown except the oyster; they are not a
bit bigger than they were in 1913. -
G0iCcstOn NC1r&.
PHONETIC. Maiden aunt to tail Young
nephew: CAS- ] stood beside Won in
church, Percy, I could not help being
struck by your size" Percy: every
sorry, aunt, but there was such m aw-
fully pretty girl the other side the aisle,
| couldn't help signing "-F"n
IT is astonishing how completely some
people can be absorbed III their own
thoughts \ prominent Galveston can
dldate who gives up the whole OF his
mind to politics mot a church member
who remarked that his church had Just
got new organ. Z" hope it will sup
port the regular nominees, was the alb
sent-mindCd reply GulrCStOn Nc1rS
can, good evening, Mrs. Brown" be
gan the pastor; 81 didn't see you at
church this morning." "No, Mr..
Smith, was the reply. 81 was some
what indisposcd. SO ! remained at
home and read a few chapters of Mark
instead" "a fine, thoughtful Young
lady" thought the parson. Miss Brown
supposed, of course, that he understood
her to refer to Mark Twain. Boston
transcript.
When the clerk of the weather arose
the other morning he called his first
assistant. who was floating round on
cloud, and inquired what kind of day
he had best give New England. "Well, :"
replied the assistant, ''we,Ve got one of
those dog days on hand, and | don't
think 1t best to carry il over" "All
right, exclaimed the clerk, "shove it
out for New England for in a weeks
time we shall have TO begin to unload
our frosty mornings.
A MASUFACToRY for turning out bone
less Goldfish has been established IN Bos-
ton. 1T is an industry that should be
encouraged, and it should also be per
suaded to include shad III It's products.
If it can capture all the shad in our
rivers. remove the bones, and replace
the fish in the waters, it will have ac-
Complished a greater work III the cause
of religion than if it had built q cathedral
costing ten million dollars. A homeless
shad would not encourage profane
thoughts at the breakfast table. and
make more backsliders in a month than
could be reconvcrted III a year. Norris
turn HCrnfd.
ORANGES are mostlyregarded as things
not to be dcspised. About thirty-tive
years ago q vessel was wrecked Mt the
Shetland isles, and among the cargo
were large packages of oranges. One
of these was picked up by peasant,
who in a day or two placed his treasure
at the disposal of the laird Give
browt We some honny baws for the
BARNS, laird, said the peasant. "They
are oranges, Magnie; why don't YOU and
your wife keep them for yourself? They
are delightful eating why. We see,
laird, said the man, q thow't they be
bonny haws for the BARNS to play wi.
Decd. as for catin', why, we've tried EN-
al ways, and they're bad boiled, they're
wair roastit. hut they're the deeval raw.
Not in the Play.
Tho br1rncrG az tho L+or~C ORC oftiD,oo.