The weekly democratic statesman. [volume] (Austin, Tex.) 1871-1883, 1880-04-08
How a Married woman goes 20
Sleep.

There 10 an article going the rounds
entitled SHOW Girls Go TO Sleep. -
The manner in which they go to sleep,
according TO the article, can't hold a
candle 10 the way 8 married woman
goes to Sleep Instead OF thinking of
what she should have attended to be-
fore going to bed, she thinks OF 1t
afterw6rd. While she is revolving
these matters in her mind, and while
snugly tucked in bed, the old man is
scratching his legs in front Of the fire
and wondering how he will pay the
next months rent. Suddenly she says
James, did you lock the door?'
(which doorl"
"The cellar dooTIn says she.
mo" says James.
I'Well. you'd better 60 down and
lock it, for l heard some person IN the
back yard last night
Accordingly, James paddles down
stairs and locks the door. About the
time James returns and is going to get
into bed she remarks:
''Did you shut the stair door,"
''No," says James.
"Well, If If Is not shut the Cat will
get up into the bedroom"
'Let her comeup, then" says Jsmes,
Ill-naturedly.
My goodness, n0!n returns his
wife ''she'd suck the bsby's breath -
Then Jemes paddles GOWN Stare
again and steps on tack, and closes
the stair door, and curses the cat, and
returns to the bedroom. Just as hc
begins to climb into his couch his wife
observes:
81 forgot to bring up some water
Suppose you bring some in the big tin. :"
And so James, with muttered
curse, goes down into the dark kitchen
and falls over chair, and rasps all the
tinware off the wall in search OF the
"big" tin, and then he jerks the stair
door open and howls:
"Where the deuce are the matches!'
She gives him minute directions
where to find the matches, and adds
that she would rather go and get the
water herself than have the neighbour
hood raised about it. After which James
finds the matches, procures the water,
comes up stairs and pluDges in bed.
Presently his wife says:
"James, let's have an understanding
about money matters. Now, next week
Pve got to pay"-
~ don't know what you've got 10
pay, and l don't care" shouts James
as he lunches around and jams his face
against the wall; "all want IS to go
to sleer."
''That's all very well for you" snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers vi
ciously, "you never think Of the worry
and trouble / have. And there's Ara.
minta, who | believe is taking the
measles"
''Let her take 'em," says James,
sticking his legs out as straight as two
ramrods.
at seems to me you have no sense
nor feeling Ehines his wife, "and if
you had any respect for Inc you
wouldn't est onions before you come
to bed. The atmosphere of. the room
from the smell of onions is horrid."
swell, go down aud sleep in the
kitchen, then, and let me alone, ssys
James.
Hereupon she begins 10 ciy softly,
but about the time James is falling into
gentle doze she punches him IN the
ribs with her elbow, and says:
'Did you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Jones?"
"What Jones?" says james, sleep;ly.
"Why, Mrs. Jones"
"Where?" inquiries James.
81 Declare" says his wife, ''you are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No. 81.
Well, day before yesterday, Susan
Smith told Mrs. Thopson that Sam
Baker had said that Mrs. Jones had'-
Here she pauses and listens. James
is snoring in profound slumber. With
snort of rage she pulls all the covers
eff him, wraps herself up in them and
lays awake until 2 A. NJ, thinking how
badly abused she is. And that is the
way married woman goes to Sleep
Pitts6nrg Leader.