The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-11-25
How q Married Woman Goes to
Sleep.

sleep, according to this article, can't
hold a candle to the way married
woman goes to sleep. Instead of think
ing of what she should have attended to
before going to bed, she thinks of it af-
terward While she is revolving these
matters in he, mind and while snugly
tucked up in bed, the old man is scratch
ing his legs in front of the fire and Won
dering how he will pay the next months
rent. Suddenly she says:
"James, did you lock the door,"
(Which door," says James.
1.-The cellar door, says she.
"No," says James.
"Well, you'd better so down and lock
1t, for l heard some person in the back
yard last night"
Accordingly James paddles down
stairs and locks the door, About the
time James returns and is going to get
into bed, she remarks
odd you shut the stair doorP
"No," says James
DWELL, if it is not shut the cat will
come up into the bedroom"
"Let her come up, says. James. i'll
naturally.
"My goodness, no :" returns his wife;
she'd suck the baby's breath"
Then James paddles down stairs again
and steps on tack, and closes the stair
door, and curses the cat and returns to
the bed room. Just as he begins to
climb into his couch his wife observes:
Il forgot to bring up some water.
Suppose you bring some up in the big
tin.
And so James, with a muttered curse,
gees down into the dark kitchen and
falls over chair and rasps all the tin
ware off the wall in search of the "big
tin and then he jerks the stair door
open and howls.
"Where the deuce are the matches ?"
She gives him minute directions, and
adds that she would rather go and get
the water herself than have the neigh
borhood raised about it. After which
James finds the matches, procures the
water, comes up stairs and plunges into
bed. Presently his wife says:
flames, let's have IN understanding
about money matters Now, next week
I've got to pay
81 don't know what you've got to pay
and l don't care" shouts James as he
lurches around and jams his face against
the wall; sail l want now is to go to
sleep"
That's all very we'll for you, snaps
his his wife, as she pulls the covers
viciously; "you never think of the worry
and trouble l have. And there's Ar
minta, who believe is taking the meas
les"
"Let her take EN- says James, stick
ing his legs out as straight as two ram
rods.
sit seems to me you have no sense
nor feeling" whines the wife, "and if
YOU had any respect for me you would
not eat onions before you come to bed.
The atmosphere Of the room from the
smell of onions IS horrid y
"Well, go down and sleep in the
kitchen, then, and let me alone says
James.
Hereupon she begins to cry gently,
but about the time James is falling into
gentle doze, she punches him in the
ribs with her elbow and says:
did you hear that scandal about
Mrs. Jones
"What Jones 2" says James, sleepily.
"Why, Mrs. Jones"
"WhersT
81 declare" says his wife, "you are
getting more stupid every day. You
know Mrs. Jones that lives at No. II
Well, day before yesterday Susan Smith
told Mrs. Thompson that Sam Baker
had said that Mrs. Jones had"
Here she pauses and listens. james
is snoring in profound slumber With
snort Of rage she pulls all the Govern
off him, wraps herself up in them, and
lays awake till A. NJ, thinking how
badly abused she is.
And that is the way a married woman
goes to sleep.
TEA AND INDIGEsTIoN-In his "Magic