Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1880-03-02
A DIPLOMATIC EVENING.

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A DIPLOMATIC EVENING.
AMENITIES AT WHITE HoUsE RECEPTION.
THE TRUE CONFUSION or TONGUES.
Correspondence OF the New York Postl
WASHINGTON, Feb. 10, 1880.
/ was invited To meet the diplomatic
corps tonight at the White House. The
request OF the sovereign Is a command.
So met them. Some OF the collisions
were rather interesting. The first diplo-
matist met was the French Minister. We
saluted each other after the fashion Of the
country and fell into aifable conversation.
Texas alone Is seventy thousand square
miles larger than all France" remarked.
"!Mercir' exclaimed the effete monarch
list, and changed the subject.
made note OF the toilettes Of his par
ty and moved on.
The next corps might have been Rus
sian, but It really was an Italian.
1--WE could blow up that clumsy Dullio
by torpedoes with the greatest ease. What
Is the use Of wasting your money on iron
clads?"
He didn't seem to hear me, SO proceed
ed to make 1t pleasant for the next Envoy
Extraordinary, after taking notes OF the
toilettes OF his party.
moment and I got within speaking
distance OF the Japanese representatives.
"Ohio," exclaimed. This means "How
do you do?". In Japanese and just now
means pretty well, thank you," In
English. A smile passed over the vast
and linguistic assemblage at the delicate
humor OF my salntation, aud Mr.. Evsrts
remarked, 1T Is these little amenities
which prevent war" / made Q note OF
the toilettes OF everybody in the neighbor-
hood and passed on.
Pretty soon met the Turkish Plenipo-
tentiary. He was so eDcased In the
precious metals that when he entered.
the marine band struck up, Baby MI me-"
"They say every man has his price," !
remarked, "and l should Judge you would
fetch high one" He made some irrele-
want observation in reply, and after taking
q careful memorandum Of his uniform,
which now claim is mine by pre-empt!on,
again passed on.
Right after Aristarchi Bey came Sir Ed
ward Thornton. Great Britain always IL
after poor Turkey for something or other.
''Sir Edward" exclaimed, "we can beat
you Britishers at any game you name.
You recollect Parole perhaps, and Weston
among bipeds. They are altering the
Great Eastern because she isn't big enough
now to accommodate the Texas cattle We
are shipping To drive native roast beef out
Of market. We can beat you at subscrip-
tions for the Irish; We can beat you at
lawn-tennis in your own backyard II you
feel any day like having game; and TO
pay you for the unjust Halifax award We
are going to take the Goldfish from the
banks OF Newfoundland and sow the m all
alOOK tile SuOIcc VI tut otneNN.
This was rather q long speech than
commonly make, but the Official position
Of Sir Edward and the cordial and inti-
mate relations existing between the two
great English-speaking nations JUSTIFIED
the excrtion.
thought I saw the British lion lash
his tail with ire while his eye flashed fire,
but it was merely one Of the ladies of the
party kicking her trail around on the other
side. while the fash came from the lapid-
ary's. made note OF both and passed
on.
Presently l met the Chinese Envoy.
"Chin chin" We exclaimed, and each
shook his own hands, like sensible men.
Then the Russian Minister came along and
jostled some broken consonsnts out Of his
throat. Germany, ever alert, rushed up
10 head OF secret treaty. Austria
Spain, Brazil, Mexico followed suit, and
the conversation soon became general.
Mr.. Evarts and his subordinates In the
State Department conducted the confer
ence with cosmopolitan tact
There was a constant stream OF polite
and agreeable salutatlons. "Ah, Mr.
Hegermonn- -Lindercrone, hope you are
very well;" "Good evening, Senor Arose
mena; )" s.Senor Dalls Costa, I'm happy to
see you;" ".ih. there Is le viscomte dr.
Nogueiras; how remarkably well be V
looking 70 be sure" "Mr. Won Schlozer.
your most obedient;" ''Ah, my esteemed
Chen Ian Pin, hope the tree which is to
furnish wood for your coffin has yet TO be
planted" Thus pleasantly passed to and
FRO the shuttlecock OF graceful greetings.
Only one feature was lacking. or
all the foreign powers with which We
have treaty relations, the Indians had
been omitted In the distribution Of invita-
tons. Why there should have been thIs
discrimination, involving, as 1t did, vio'
lation OF the "most favored nation" prin-
ciple, confess / cannot surmise. IN.
derstand 1t Is to be made the subject OF u
Congressional investigation.
1t required an ear trained In compsrs-
tive philology to catch all these sounds
and make due note OF them. The diplo-
mats themselves remarked uponit. why.
this is very Tower Of Babel" remarked
one OF them.
eyes," replied Mr.. Evarts, and then add
ed, In whisper: "But, gentlemen. senors
md INV lords. To get the true confusion