The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1880-08-24
Stqse and Mousrnse.
Misers like come-penny.

Mlsers like cnme-penny.
Kidney Wort will cure Kidney and
Liver diseases and worst cases OF Piles.
The undertaken is eager to let man
down just ~ soon as the doctor gives
him up.
II is all well enough to say "Take
things as they come" hut suppose they
don't Gomez
Ex Governor Kemper, Of Virginia.
has become 50 paralyzed that he can
neither walk nor stand
Young Buck, Of Texas, who tried to
Kill John G.. Thompson's son. has been
Seappcinted cadet at West Point.
There is man in San Francisco 80
reduced by consumption that he live.
entirely upon stimulants and bis rela-
tions.
Now this ia what ! call business" :"
remarked an undertaken. rs 40 unfOrtu-
nate gentleman stepped into his store
and died.
A tall man having rallied his friend
on the shortness Of his legs. the friend
replied: INV legs reach the ground;
what more can yours do ,"
Kauaas school teacher: "Where does
our grain 90 tor "Into the hopper"
@what hopper "irssshcpper," tri.
uuphantly shouted scholar.
He wss from the mountain side, and
was buying bis first glass OF soda. 81
wish you'd skim on shat ecum, boss; ]
ain't paying for no frolh, you bet"
: "what !. the worst thing about rich
co 7" asked . Sunday School teacher
"Their scarcitv," replied the hoy. and
he was Immediately awarded chrome.
"How many deaths 7" asked the hos
pital physician, while going his rounds.
"Nine." "why, ordered medicine for
ten "Yes, but one wouldn't take IT,"
An old angler says that fish does
not suffer much pain from being hooked.
OF course not Il 10 the thought OF how
Its weight will be lied about that causes
him anguish.
The feelings OF small boy can be
better imagined than described after the
said small bov has spent half an hour
crawling under gospel tent to end that
Il 10 not circus.
who do YOU lover" said Jones to
his sweetbear.'s baby sister. IL loves
oo," iwss the reply. .And who does
Sissy lover" "Sissy loves Mister Smif,
toss be tisees 'er.'
Captain Eads says that the work Of his
proposed ship-raiIway scross the 18th
mus could be accomplished in four years
He expresses the utmost faith In the
feasibility Of the project.
That Was On observing fellow, II be
was but six wears old, who said, Papa,
wish you'd quarantine against Tom
Jones coming here every night TO see
Jennie. '.lt's got to be too epidemic
A Galveston merchant asked another
iia clerk who had been In the employ
OF the latter was honest 81 cant tell
for certain" was the response; "he does
al the collecting but he has never
Drought IN cent v6t.
Women that have been giveE up by
their dearest friends - beyond help, have
heen permanently cured by the use o.
LYDIA E. PINKHAMs VEGETABLE CoM
POUND. Send TO Mrs. Lydia E. Plnkbam,
233 Western Avenue, Lynn. Mass, for
pamphlets.
"Oh, Miss Thcrue! exclaimed girl,
rushing into the school house. We'll,
wha, Is the matter, child?" Oh, oh
Miss Thornei just escaped having by.
.drophohia" "H, drophobia poor child,
how did you escape2" "Whv, Bill
Martins dog bit me on the arm, almost. "
A Cslifornia farmer named T. Finnel
has 5000 acres of wheat He began
threshing on the 23d of June, and will
not he through with his work until The
let Of September. He employs 240
horses and mules in the work and in
plowing, which he will commence a'
once.
"Don't you want to be my wife p
said small boy to smaller girl. With
some hesitation, but with certain frm-
ness OF tone. she replied, Yes. ] would y
"Then," continued the boy, ss he seated
himseli on the grass snd lifted up biz
foot. "you may begin by pulling Of my
boots"
Little Robby came home With his new
hat limp IS dish cloth. For good
ness sake ?" cried bis mother, "where
have you been ?" Robby began to whim
per % he replied, "a teller threw N,
hat into the frog pond +" 20 Robby?
YOU threw It In yourself. ! saw you dc
IL" "well," said Robby CONTEMPORARY
xin'tIa felleri"
"what shall I preach about9" said
minister to The pastor OF coIored Hocl
which be was to address. ''Well, mos
any subject will be 'ceptable," was th'
reply; aonly I'd like to git you ont
word oh caution T" .'Ah what Is that p
"Well, ef ] was you, I'd tech VERY
light on de Ten Commandments" "In
deed and why 2" "Oh, cos l hab no
tise dat dey mos always hab a adampain