Daily Republican., 1880-06-24
Fun AND FkOLIC.

l
| PAYING A PoEr Amy body could tell
what he had. Every man in the sanc.
tum knew In minute. The timid
knock at the door gave him clear away
at the very start. No man or woman
ever knocks at that sanctum door I'm
less be comes upon that fatal errand.
Then he came inside and took of his
hat and bowed all over the room, when
every man on the staff reared out, In a
terrible chorus, Come In I" Then he
asked for the editor, and when the I'M
derlings, with fine miDgling Of truth
and grammar, pointed to the youngest
and newest man In the Office and yelled
THAT'S him |" he walked up to the
young man designated, and before he
could uproll his manuscript We knew
tbs subject, and deep groan echoed
round the room.
Poetry, young man 7" asked the
editor.
"Yss, sir" said the poet "a couple
Of trio'ets and sonnet on the mar
riage Of my sister with an old college
friend"
"Old college friend male or female,
young man :" asked the editor, severe
| ly.
"Male, sir" said the young man.
He said "sir" every time, and every
time he said 1t all the young gentlemen
on the STAFF, save the young gentleman
who personat.d the governor, smoker.
ed. He looked severe.
Anything more, young man :" he
asked.
eyes, SIR" replied the infaut Ten
nyson "a kind Of idyl and ode, in
soribed TO My Lost Love-"
Glove been lost very long, young
man 7" asked the journalist, very crit
ioally.
"Well, It's imms.erial, that is,"
Hammered the young man; sits in-
defnite-it's-"
"Ever advertised for 1t 7" asked the |
reporter, who was writing a puff for
Slabs tombstones, bat he was instantly |
frowned down.
Anything mcrei" asked the prin.
cipal interlocutor j.; anything more,
young man 7"
eyes, SIR" was the hopeful response,
30 trenody in memory of my departed
brother"
"Bro.her dead, young man. or emily
gone to Sagetown ?"
dead, SIR"
"Your own brother :"
mo, sir, l never had real brother
it's only imaginary"
"Can't take this, then, young man."
was the chilling reply. Poetry, to find
acceptance with the Hawkeye, must b.
true. Have to reject this trenody, not
because it is not very beautiful, bat
because it is not true. Now, how much
do you want for these others 7" Aud
he fingered them over like a man buy
ing mink skins.
The poet really didn't know. He had
never Published before he had barely
dared hope to have his verses publish
ed at all. A few copies of the paper
containing them no was sure
ooh, no." the editor broke in, "Oh,
no no, sir can't do that; we don't do
business In that way; ia poem sketch
is worth publishing, it is worth paying
for. Would $l5 pay you for these :"
The poet blusbed to the floor With
gratitude, and the young journalist
wrols out an order and handed it to
the poet.
Take that to the conrt- house," he
said, "ard the Auditors clerk will give
yOu the money"
The poet bowed and withdrew. and
with great merriment the journalists
burned his poems and resumed their
work.
That wasn't the funny part OF it,
however. The next day the feeble
minded poet presented his order to the
clerk designated, and it was 50 that
the clerk owed the paper t18 for sui,
scription and advertising, and be
promptly cashed the order and turned
il in when the bill was presented. and
The manager Just charged it TO the sal
ary account Of the smart young jour ,
nalist who signed the order, and the
aappieat man and the maddest in
America are living in Burlington. One
If them ia happy, green, unsophisti-
,ated young machine poet, and the 9TH
n 10 a wide awake, up tO-snuf, know
hs.n orld, get-up-and-dust young jour.
,slist, whe ia already a rival to Horace
Ireeley in some of the verbal depart
nsnts Of journalism. - Burlington
Iawkeye.
ROBERT, who fears he is rejsoted-
'Dnt you know, Rsbecca, we are com
handed TO love everybody"
Rebeoca--"Yes; and so | do love
verybOdy."
Robert (PiHafOricslly) What, every
,ody :"
Rebeaa (shyly)-"Wsil, you know.
resent company is always excepted"
AN Old LADY heard one Of her daugh- r
er iH-lAw's callers say: my father
1as an ambideKter."
After the VISITORS departure the lis
snsr expressed her indignation by say
ng: II
"Phat stuck up hussy was lying all
hs time. I knew her father year in
nd out, and his name was Smith" Il
A pHaURn diminutivs girl, aged Is,
) ande. arrest in Philadelphia for big 4
my. She has three living husbands, 7
II of " hom abe has married within TIVE
ears. When asked why she has done l.
his, she said
"They are all good fellows, and they
BAKED me so.' r.
A CHICAGO preacher says that the I
ord never prospers minister who
ears a moustache. Neither Beeoher
or Talmage wear a moustache, and
hey flourish like q green bay tree. No
oubt IL they had worn moustaehe