Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-06-10

How Married Woman Goes to Sleep
There is an article going the rounds
entitled, "How Girls Go to Sleep" The
manner in which they go to sleep can't
hold candle to the way a married woman
goes to sleep. Instead of thinking OF
what she should have attended to before
going to bed, she thinks of it afterward.
While she is revolving these matters in
her mind, and while snugly tucked up in
bed the old man is scratching his legs in
front of the fire, and wondering how he
will pay the next months rent. Suddenly
she says:
"James, did you lock the door2"
(which door!" says James.
"Thc cellar dOor," says she.
NO." says James.
"Well, you'd better go down and lock
1t, for | heard some person in the back
yard last night"
Accordingly James paddles down stairs
and locks the door. About the time
James returns and is going to get into
bed, she remarks:
Dlu YOU bHuu lut stdlI uOOI
NO." says James.
"Well, if it is not shut, the cat will get
p into the bedroom"
"Let her come up, then, says James,
'naturedly.
My goodness, mol" returns his wife;
led suck the baby's BREATH"
then James paddles down stairs again,
d steps on a tack, and closes the stair
or, and curses the cat, and returns to the
1drOom. Just as he begins to climb into
is couch, his wife observes:
Il forgot to bring up some water. Sup
Jse you bring some in the big tin.
And so James, with muttered curse,
,Oes down in the dark kitchen and falls
over a chair and rasps all the tinware off
The wall in search of the "big" tin, and
hen he jerks the stair door open and
howls:
"Where the deuce are the matches2"
She gives him minute directions where
10 find the matches, and adds that she
ould rather go and get the water herself
an have the nelghborhood raised about
o.. After which James finds the matches,
Drocures the water, comes up stairs and
,lunges into bed. Presently his wife says:
James, let's have an understanding
lbout money matters. Now, next week
| I've got to pay"
81 don't know what you've got to pay,
and | don't care," shouts James, as he
lurches around and jams his face against
the wall; "all | want is to 90 to sleep"
"That's an very well for you," snaps
his wife, as she pulls the covers viciously;
"you never think of the worry and trouble
| have. And there's Araminta, who |
believe is taking the measles"
"Let her take EN-" says James, stick
ing his legs out as straight as two ram
rods.
at seems to me you have no sense nor
feeling" whines his wife, "and if you had
any respect for me you wouldn't eat onions
before you come to bed. The atmosphere
of the room, from the smell OF onions is
horrid."
"Well, go down and sleep in the
kitchen, then, and let me alOne," says
James.
Hereupon she begins to cry softly, but
about the time James Is falling into gem
tie doze she punches him in the ribs with
her elbow, and says:
"Did you hear that scandal about Mrs
Jones2"
"What Jones2" says James, sleepily.
"Why, Mrs. Jones.
"Wherep" inquired James,
81 declare" says his wife, you are
getting more stupid every day. You know
Mrs. Jones that lives at No. 2l. Well,
day before yesterday, Susan Smith told
Mrs. Thompson that Sam Baker had said
that Mrs. Jones had"
Here she pauses and listens. James is
snoring in profound slumber. With a
snort Of rage she pulls all the covers off
him, wraps herself up in them, and lays
awake until am. thinking how badly
abused she is. And that Is the way a
married woman goes to sleep.