Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1880-07-29
How He was Subdued.

1t may be unat some of the married
folks who read the Companion will find
lesson for a husband, and amusement
for the wife, in the following humorous
sketch:
MY dear" said Mr.. Spoopendyke,
feelingup the chimney. have you seen
my gold collar button?"
I" saw 1t the day you bought it," an
swered Mrs, Spoopendyke, cheerily,
and thought it very pretty. Why
do you askp"
"'Cause I've lost the measly thing"
responded Mr.. Spoc.-ndyke, running
the broom handle up into the cornice
and shaking it as If it were a carpet.
"You don't suppose it Is up there,
do youP" asked Mrs. Spoopendyke.
where did you leave itp"
Lett it in my shirt. Where do you
suppose I'd leave tin the hashp" and
Mr.. Spoopendyke tossed over the things
in his wife's writing-desk and looked
out of the window after it.
where did you leave your shirtP
asked Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Where did leave my shirtP Where
do you suppose / left itP Where does a
SpoopendykeP Think l left it in The
ava JboshNs wv Ihta AIlt IL uL
prayer-meeting, haven't you? Wen, ]
didn't. / left it of, Mrs. Spoopendyke
that's where | left 1t. l left ii off.
Hear mep"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke pulled the
winter clothing out of the cedar chest
that hadn't been unlocked for a month.
Where is the shirt now?" persisted
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Where do you sunnnse il is2 Wa ere
do you imagine it isP I'll tell you
where it is, Mrs. Spoopendyke; it's
gone TO Bridgeport as witness in a
land suit. Ideal Ask man where his
shirt isl You know haven't been out
Of the room since j came home last
night and took il off"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke sailed down.
stairs and raked the fire out OF the
kitchen range, but did not find the
button.
Maybe you lost 1t on the way home, I"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke, as her
husband came up, hot and angry, and
began to pull a stuffed canary to
pieces, 10 see if the button had got in
side.
"Oh, yes! Very likelyl stood up
against tree and lost it. Then hid
behind a fence 30 | wouldn't see it.
That's the way it was. II / only had
your head, Mrs. Spoopendyke, I'd turn
loose as razor strop. I don't know
anything sharper than you are"
And Mr.. Spoopendyke got up in a
chair and clutched handful of dust off
the top of the wardrobe.
ut must have fallen out" unused
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
"Oh, it must, Ell! Itmust have fallen
loutl Well. declare, never though
of that. My impression was that it
took buggy and drove out, or bal
loon and hoisted out" and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke crawled behind the bureau and
commenced tearing up the carpet.
And If ii fell out it must be some
where near where he lett his shirt.
Now he always throws his shirt on the
lounge, and the button is under that"
A moments search established the
infallibility of Mrs. Spoopendyke's
ogic.
"Oh, yes Found it. didn't you?"
painted Mr.. Spoopendyke, as he bumped
his head against the bureau and finally
climbed to perpendicular. Perhaps
you'll fix my shirts so that il won't fall
out any more, and maybe you'll have
sense enough TO mend that lounge, now
it has made so much trouble. II you
only tended to the house as do TO my
business, there'd never De any difficulty
about losing a collar button"
"It wasn't my fault" began Mrs.
Spoopendyke.
Wasn't, ehP Have you found that
coal bill you've been looking for since
March9"
"Yes."
Have, eh! Now where did you put
it2 Where did you find it?"
I'm your overcoat pocket"