Lancaster daily intelligencer. [volume] (Lancaster, Pa.) 1864-1928, 1880-11-20
Way or the World.


eisn Crop Of liuIDOr.
Mrs. YOungwOman wants to know ''wllat
is tho best way to mark table linen 90
Leave the baby and blackberry pic alone
1t the table for two minutes.
The word love in one Of the Indian dia-
lccts is Observation-Disclosures
Fancya sweet forest maiden telling hcl
unprecedented brave that she chcmlcnda-
mOughkanascggascrs him.
"IIOw shall have my bonnet trimmed, "
asked Maria, $50 that it shall agree with
my complexion?" "If you want il to
match your face, have it plain" replied
the hateful Hattie.
81 believe" said Il Galveston justice tU
= rough looking customer, "that all tho
scoundrcls in Galveston arc harborcd in
your dcn.'' 81 never saw you there yet,
jcdsc."
A certain Clinaman gave dinner party
The viants were not to his taste. lie rose
from the table, asked to be excused for a
few moments. and left the room with the
remark, "Must lickcc wife," This was
not in China.
"Why, Frankly! - exclaimed the mother
ut the summer boarding house, 81 never
knew you to ask for a second piece of pic
at homc." 81 knew it wasn't no use, -
replied Frankly, quietly, Us hc proceeded
with his pic-cating.
Are you really SO stupid, Matilda, or do
y:,u act that way for effect 20 said a Cal
weston lady to her servant. "NO, man, -
was the reply, "I'd like nightly to bc a
dcccitful niggall, but l hain't got dc
sense. -GdlcestOn Nescs.
She read all the books of science.
Her fingers were covered with ink;
She hOOtcd ut ma rris,c alliance,
She talked of the missing link.
She quoted s:lvanS and preachers
OF greater and less renown-
Pl:,tOnic i'm all her features,
She got i mash on L clown.
A stranger in 4 country village cllanccd
to pass the graveyard just as the sexton
was performing his duties, and, with a
view to knowledge, addressed the old man
II sec you havc had a funeral. May
inquire of what complaint the person
dicd:' The sexton replied: "ThcrC
wasn't no complaint. Everybody pears
to bc satisfied"
There was large boiler Of scalling water
over 4 fire in the yard and several black
imps playing near it. Suddenly 4 shrill
voice was heard from inside the shanty
lyon Gawgc Washington keep away
from dat ar bilcr. Directly you is gwine
ter upset dc biler all over ycrsclf, and yc2
will bc dc fust one to say, 'Twan't me-
mammy.''
Edward" said u mother to her son of
eight, who was trundling hoop in the
front yard, ':you mustn't go out of the gate
into the street, ''No, ma, WON'T" was
the reply, A few minutes aftcrwad she
saw Edward in the street manufacturing
mud-p pics. and ut once went out to him
didn't | tell yOu, she said angrily, mot
to 80 through the gatc??'' Well, didn't
mothcr,' was the very satisfactory reply
81 climbed over the lcncc!'
II was at 4 late quarterly meeting o
Seventh Day Baptist churches, in WiscOa.
sin, that two clcrgymcn were to present
papers on tho same day and the question
Of precedence having arisen, Mr.. A.
spraEg to his feet and said, 81 think
Brother B. ought to have the best place OF
the programme he is an older man thar
lam and, besides, is full Of his subject. >
When the audience remembered that
Brother BIS subject was " The Dcyil,' ;
cheerful smile seemed to beam around tho
assembly.
A gentleman made up his mind that III
would give his wife pleasant surprise by
spending the evening at home. After
supper he settled himself down for a COZ,
time in the bosom of his family. He had
10 more than comfortably fixed himself
when his wife abruptly asked him if his
friends didn't want him any longer. Then
his mother in law asked him if lie had ex.
haustcd his credit. The servant asked
him jf he was i'll. One of the ncighbors
wanted to know if he had any trouble and
WAS afraid of the law, All of which oc.
CURED in twenty minutes, for in exactly
half III hour he was beyond questioning
range in his club.