davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04
JUMBLES.

Ule IdruleI makes nay WlGn
the sun shines.
The first river you come
to in Scotland they will tell
you is the Forth.
-"Another man overheard, :"
as the landlady remarked when
the dead beat skipped on
Saturday night without pay
ing his weeks board
Some are SO enamored
with work that they will stand
and watch another labor, for
getting for hours all thoughts
Of self in their enchantment.
TO protect ones self
against the storms of passion
marriage with a good woman
is a harbor in the tempest but
with a bad woman it proves a
tempest in the harbor.
There is a vigilance and
judgment about trifes, which
men only get by living in a
crowd; and those are the trifes
of detail, on which the success
Of execution depends.
An Irishman, watching a
game Of baseball, was sent to
grass by a foul which struck
him under the fifth rib. GA
fowl, was ut! Begorra. l
thought it was a mule"
"A person is expected to
be thankful because he enjoys
good health, Only a small
boy can enjoy bad health, and
then it must be bad enough to
keep him out Of school.
"A catfish five feet long
was recently caught in the
Ohio River. How thankful
civilization ought to be that
the catfish, unlike the cat,
does not get upon the back
fence and howl.
Has it ever occurred to us,
when surrounded by sorrows,
that they may be sent to us
only for our instruction-as
we darken the cages of birds
when we wish to teach them
to sing.
There is many a man in
the world who, like the"Abbot
OF Bamba, gives away for the
good Of his soul what he can't
eat, and thinks it ought to be
counted in his favor on the
last day.
When you fail to do a
thing well it is never your
fault, Of course, but the fault
circumstances. The Spanish
have a saying which corrobo-
rates this statement 1.-The |
archer that shoots i'll has a lie
ready"
"A Michigan farmer heard .
that music would prevent bees
from singing, and he took his
accordion and went out and
sat down by the hive. Only |
forty-four bees had got a show
at him when he jumped into
a lake.
The Prince Of Wales two
sons are somewhat lively.
While ON a sea voyage recent
ly the younger was heard to
eXclaim; "Come bub, tune
up your fiddle and give us.
God save your old grand
mother
An American girl who
marries an Italian marquis
gets on very well until his
Serene Highness begins t,
spend all her money and talk of
her father as 'ze shopkecpairc,
Then she fires up and gives
him a little 4th Of July.
Harvey Denton says that
it puzzles him how strange
men walk in houses and alb
stract fifty or a hundred
dollars from a bureau drawer.
He says he couldn't do it in
his own house, and he knows
every nook and corner in it,
On the cars a youthful
gummy prepares to light a big
cigar, and as he does so turns
to an old lady beside him and
says, kindly; 81 hope you
don't object to my smoking
tins, madam-that it may not
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04

"A Michigan farmer heard
that music would prevent bees
from singing, and he took his
ACCORDION and went out and
sat down by the hive. Only
forty-four bees had got a show
at him when he jumped into
a lake.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04
GEO. w. EsSER.

u bVs w IT = LEhs
General Agent for carbon, Monroe and Pike
counties. County Buildings; Mauch Chunk,
Carbon county, Pa. feb. 14.-tt
CHARLES LENTz, agent for WeisspOrt
Parryvie and Franklin township.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04
4,O1O CERTIFICATES

ISSUED. The only safe ana reliable institu.
tion that pives you insurance Of actual cost.
No surplus divided among the officers or
trustees.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04

-When you 1aI to do a
thing well it is never your
fault, Of course, but the fault
circumstances. The Spanish
have a saying which corrobo-
rates this statement ;-"Thc
archer that shoots i'll has a lie
ready"
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04

An American girl who
marries an Italian marquis
gets on very well until his
Serene Highness begins t,
spend all her money and talk of
her father as 'ze shopkecpaire,'
Then she fires up and gives
him a little 4th of July.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04
AN UMFAILING CURE |

have long used the medicine known as PERRY
DAVIS'YEGETABLEPA PAIN KILLER inmy family
and would not on any account be without it. When
of any sort but the Pain Killer and although myself
and several members Of my family were attacked
severely, am happy to say that the Pain Killer was
equal TO every emergency l consider should not
be doing my duty TO the community did not say
this much. ii were attacked by tho Cholera
to-day Pain Killer would be the only remedy l
should use / have thoroughly tested II, and know
~ '''I ~ Fl i. i. BERGNsEND, Galena, Illinois
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04

-Ihere IS many a man in
the world who, like the"Abbot
of Bamba, gives away for the
good ofhis soul what he can't
eat, and thinks it ought to be
counted in his favor on the
last day.
The Carbon advocate. [volume] (Lehighton, Pa.) 1872-1924, 1880-09-04

On the cars a youthful
gummy prepares to light a big
cigar, and as he does so turns
to an old lady beside him and
says, kindly: II hope you
don't object to my smoking
tins, madam-that it may not
make you sick!" "Not at all,
monsieur" replies the lady,
politely, "but mayn't it you,!''
"A New England writer
is noted for neglect in his
nersonal appearances. The
plight before Christmas a
gentleman spoke to a friend
Of making the author a pres
ent. "I want to get him
something that will keep
observed the gentleman. In
that case, L would suggest a
cake of soap" remarked the
friend.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
Stop One Moment.
AND
THINK!!

SULPHUR BIrTERS will cure any blood disease
from common pimplcs and testers on the face TO
worse of Scrofula
There never has been medicine that builds up
the broken down invalid as sulphur Biiters can and
does in every
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
hlAAslN's
s4..: Cough 9.|.sn,
GRAY,s SPECIFIC MEDICINES.
n The Great EnglishTRAoE MARY

ht oiNaA 1hi ttoh
Remedy. An un-
failing cure for
Semin al W k
ness, Spermatorr-
hea, 1ripotcncy.
and all diseases
that follow as a Sc
cuence of Self
Abuse as Loss of
Memory, Univer-
III HI h.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
NO. 251.
Gales ano Skettbes.
JOHN JORDAN, UNION SCOTT.
How He Saved Garfeld's Regiment.

A THRILLING ErlsopE IN GENERAL GAR
FIELDS MILITARY CAHEER-AN OLD
STORY OF A DARING RIDE REPRINTED
FROM THE ATLANTIC monthly OF OC-
roBrR 1868.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
Advertising Agents
FOR THE
Kennebec journal,
DIILY AND WEEKLY.

The following Advertising Agents authorized
to receive subscriptions and advertisements for the
KENSEBEC JOURNAL:
BOSTON :: :: S. VI. PETrENGILL & Co. 10 State
Street.
s. X. NILES, Eo. fremont St.
I. G. EVANS, fremont Temple.
HORACE DODD, 265 Washington
Street.
uEW YORK {: :DAUCHY & Co, 191 Fulton ST.
GEO. z. ROwELL Co., 10
Spruce Street.
JAMES ii. BATES, Al Park Row
W. w. SHARPE Co.
S. NJ PETTENGILL& Co., 81 Park
Row.
PHILADELPHIA N. W. AYER & Son, Times Bldg
Chestnut and sth streets.
s. NJ. PETTENGILL Il Co., 7Ol
Chestnut Street.
NEW HAVEN, CONN, II. Z. HUBBARD, City Bank
Building.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
Terrible Sores Broke Out On
My Body!
ScrOfula and MercuriaI Saliva.
ton Cured

LEWISTON, Maine, July 10, 1850.
Dear Sirs-For the last six years have been ter
rible sufferer with scrofula, caused by salivation
from the Of mercury and calomel. Great num-
bers of terrible broke on various parts Of
my body, which affected my limbs H. to twist and
misplace them that could hardly move. have
been treated by the bes: physicians in Maine, but
was given up TO die by them all. I bought bottle
of sulphur Bitters Of Mr. Garcelon, druggist, and
after using four bottles / entirely cured, my
limbs have gone back to their natural position and
am now able TO do all my housework. ] owe my
life TO sulphur Bitters. Gratefully yours.
MRS. HIRAM JORDAN.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
FIX THIS IN YOUR MIND !

SULPHUR BITTERS viii restore exhausted nurs-
ing mothers to full energy and strength and give
them lease Of life.
SULPHUR BITTERS is not vile decoction of
cheap whiskey poor rum swectencd and spiced
to please the taste but trne medicine, and the best
known TO mankind for the Blood Liver and Kidneys.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23

>
in the Back, Dimness of Vision, Premature Old Age
and many other Diseases that lead to Insanity or
Consumption and premature Grave. Full particu-
lars in our pamphlet, which we desire TO send free
by mail to every one. The Specific Medicine is sold
by all druggists at o. per package, or six packages
for s. wilfbe sent tree by mail receipt Of the
money By addressing The GRAY Medicine Co. No. 10
Mechanics Block, Detroit. Mich. Sold in Augusta bv
+. W. .KINsMAN 4 Co, Wholesale and Retail. and by
druggists everywhere. novi2t&wly
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
Weekly Kennebec Journal

Published every Wednesday morning, is the largest
foo paper in the State, containing news political ar
es agricultural and scientific matter, tales poetry,
sneciOes, household matter, markets, &c., &c.
Terms ~ per IN, ddrdnce.
Transient Advertisements, $500 per inch ioi first
week 50cents per week for each subsequent in ion
Special Notices, $3.50 per inch for first week; so
q. is per week for each subsequent week.
Business Notices. in reading columns, 20 cents per
inc for first insertion; 10 cents per line for each sub
,e1aent insertion.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
-. AUGUSTA 1850
Gbe Aennebee gournal.
Published at AUGUSTA, MAINE, Water Street, foot
,sCourt, by SrRAGUE Son.
Daily Kennebec Journal,

Issued every morning, except Sundays. It contains
The latest news by telegraph and mail gives reports
o Markets and has carefully prepared political and
a.al articles, and a generous amount of farming
home and miscellaneous reading with a full cempla-
,i,n Of State news
Terms 81 per anRum in adrGnce, So if payment
I, not made within the year. Single copies cents to
~ had at the bookstores and at this Office.
Embellishments inserted on reasonable TERMS Rates
usy be had on application at this Office.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1880-10-23
AoANs1N's
ss:.i. Cough 9.!..n

does not dry up a cough and
leave the cause behind to attack
you again. 1t loosens, cleanses
and heals the lungs free from all
Impurities: allays all irritation.
Pleasant and takcnby theusandsr
Endorsed b, ensinent physicians
and by the press. BE sure to call
|fpr
Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-05-13
A Shrew,I Guess.

He was evidently ''tenderfoot,'
but as he stood before an old miner
and held out piece of micaceons
granite for his inspection, he made a
strong effort to look as if he had been
born with contempt for civilization,
and that the feeling had been steadily
growing on him ever since. ''What
do you make this out to be?" he
asked, indicating the specimen with
nod. ''Humph!" was the express
sive answer. ''Gold quartz or car
bonates?" The ''honest MINER
turned it over in his hand Indifferent
ly, took out his knife, and picked at it
for awhile, and then said: SCOT
much of it?'' Thousands of tons,"
answered the other, eagerly. "How
much do you suppose she'll rum"
Cant tell nuthin' without an assay"
''But you can gsess, can't you-you
can guess?" "Oh! yes," answered
the barnacle anybody kin guess but
a guess is liable TO be extravagant.
Now, shall say-but, mind ye, l
may go over the mark-I should say
(turning the specimen over again and
holding 1t up to the light)-I should
Say that if We kin save the gold in
this and catch the silver, and not
waste the lead, it might run about
well, about 81 to the county"
Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-05-13
"Nohodv VIII Ever See It."

A short time since we called upon
a certain party in business in Mexico.
and asked him why he did not advcr-
tisc i'll the papers.
"Oh, because" he answered,
''wl!at's the use: Nobody will ever
see it,
"Iou're mistaken,' sard we;
"ereiy page in our paper is read
"Nonscnsc!' lie replied; "eEen
if they did read my ad. people would
never tirnl. OF it again. l don't want
to advertise. -
"But-''
80 butts at all. | don't want to
advertise, and don't bother me any
more I'm busy"
And he walked back into his store
and ssranglcd poor little fly that
was helping itself from barrel of
sugar.
Time passed and we never again
intimatud advertisement" TO him,
although meeting him daily. Last
week the gentleman called at our
sanctnn, looking q little uncertain as
to how hr vonId hc received We
chcerj,hed no hard frelinrs. and mo-
toned him to = chair.
II snnnoen Won hoard of thet little
affair oi mine. -
..On, yes.' said we. .sthat little
cscanale njrbt bcfora last2 Yes.
we've cot nj the n,rticrlars"-
/ Hush! Not so loud. please. -
said h. .of coursa Won are 1oino to
s,v uothino in the n.nnr ,hont !, -,
..And whv ro,> ~ motter ot
interest 70 your friends and the neo.
n}n generally >,
..IIr,v,nSr Wbv If wonId ruin
mer''
.,nh M nno.s nat Nnho1,, will
Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-05-13
" iiy No. >

Audrain county cannot get two
State offices. She must decide be-
tween Mcintyre and Carroll. Lou
lalana journal.
Why not two State Offices, pray?
Are not Senators Cocllrell and Vest
from adjoining counties; Vest and
Phillips from tue same town. yea,
even the same law firm; Cockrell and
Crittenden from the same town and
also the same law Office! Has not
Pike county just been honored with
two State offices of the knights of
Honor? Locality is q factor pow
eriul factor-to be sure; but this To-
cality-that is, this portion of Mis-
souri-may wisely conclude to take
its whole representation upon the
State ticket, from Audrain. Indeed,
we firmly believe it will do so, and
that it will be conceded the positions
of Attorney General and Secretary Of
State. And since Pike, nor any other
of her adjoining counties have any
aspirants to look after, We hope her
citizens and the Journal will lend US
their able and powerful influence.
Audrain will not forget such a kind
ness, and her influence is not to be
tossed away as something not worth
the seeking. Give our men a boost,
Bro. Journal. As ye would that
others should boost you, boost ye,
even SO, them.-Vandalia Leader.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-05-13
WORCESTER, Mo. May 3, 80.

=
IpiToR LEDGER: Having seen
nothing in your valuable paper from
this part of the county for 50 long, l
will to give, through your columns,
all news of interest that can gather.
The weather is fine, but q little too
cool FOR farm products, though oul
farmers are going ahead as rapidly IS
possible and are planting. Some are
done Planting. Wheat is looking
very fine. Oats and meadows are
net doing very weli--too dry-but
corn lands are in as fine condition as
one could wish for. Health general
j. IS good. Mr.. Editor, l am not in
ths h&hit Of writing for newspapers
much, but from reading 4 good deal
and seeing so much said in politi-
cal way, | feel like saying little
myself, rs regards who may, or who
shall, or who viii fill our various po-
sitions of honor ] wish to name q
few who | think are men worthy, viz !:
james Carroll, for Secretary OF State,
and | think no better man could he
put there. The Hon. ID. II. McIn-
i ;yre for Attorney General aud :. NJ
. Edwards for our Circuit Judge These
/ are all christian gentlemen too, the
kind and only kind ot men who should
hold Office, and l am i'll favor OF
rlrrting none other, for ii We have
ANY good men at all, they are to hr
found among christian people, and |
do, aud always have, opposed voting
:j9r igrellgious mcn t. fill onr offices.
want n"n who have conscientious
orrHples then lave no fears. The
above named gentlemen. think, fill
/ IT," Till exactly. Nov, there ar,
other o.iis'c~ /" l'r tilir3. The sh"r-
ii" - office. | see good deal, o,
rather hear i good dead, about that
ui'trt.. aiR who shtll, or will ir the
luck" Il"n. AS for me. ] don't thiul
hr : on the tracl; vet, and there ~,
,nmc mentioned tnr ,uat Office thai
are not iii or qualified, and are no
Of rood moral, social or religion.
standing, and /, ior one, cannot
support. ihcir past lives do not fore
shadow any good, consequently
think, should not hG placed IN an,
ruhnr position, and other offices o
greater responsibility, that | canno
mention now; out, with your permit
vii! do SO in The future. Il IS 4 time
think, for nil true Democrats to i,
Wide-a-wakc and ut work. Viii
much respect to ynu and al!. sub
$, riil,. myseifln favor of Samuel j
Tiljcn, first, last and as long a
,!.crc j. any chance.
Yours respectfully,
SrAD
Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-05-13
A FREE PRESS.


Some of its Advantages Tersciy Stated.
The beautiful iGca OF getting some
thing for nothing is nowhere more
readily traceah!e than in newspaper
Office.
Sc much has been spoken, written
and sung about q ''free press that
people have come to accept the term
III Il sense altogether toe literal.
Ii man has q scheme of any kind
terminating he just steps into the ed
itorial room and details it, with the
remark, I'm not quite ready to adj
vertisc yet, but a few words will help
me along He gets the few words
and never gets ready TO advertise.
Two tickets admitting lady and
gent to the &c. r. X. NJ. is grand
ball. arc expected to produce Il six
line local and a quarter of column
description Of the ladies' toilets after
the ball is over.
Church fairs and the like are worse
than balls. They never leave tickets,
but demand more space, because sit S
a matter of news, and a help to the
cause
| Should boy saw off his finger,
CDR. G. o. Plaster dressed the
wound with great skill" would be a
graceful way OF stating it, and, be-
sides, it is ''unproiessional' to adj
vertisc.
The patent rat trap man brings in
one of his combinations of WIRE and
m0ldy cheese bait, sticks it under the
editors nose and explains how they
catch 'cm every time the spring works.
''It's something OF interest to the
community, and ii YOU put in piece
save me dozen papers," which he
quietly walks Off with, as though he
bestowed favor in allowing editorial
eyes TO gaze on such marvel Of in.
tricacY.
An invitation ''to come down and
write up our establishment Is great
deal more common than a two square
"ad'' from the same firm. Newspa
pcrs must be filled up with something
OF other. you know.
! The lawyer, with strong prciudice:
against advertising, is fond OF seeing
his cases reported in full in the news
papers, with IN occasional rcicsenc,
to his exceedingly able manner o
conducting the same. Ii is cheaper
than advertising.
In fact everybody, from a to lizard
who has an AK to grind, asks Tho
newspaper TO turn the crank, and for
gets to even say Thank you, but vii
kindly take a free copy Of the pape
as part pay for furnishing news.
The press being free" all hand
seem bound TO get aboard and ride i
TO death. That is why newspaper
are so rich that they can afford t
pay double price for white paper, an'
never ask congress to aid them b.
removing the duty on wood pulp.
Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-05-13
An old Story NcW-Tuld.

anu 'i'. 4'i''L''' 'I''''s 'i'''. =
Joe Parsons was a Baltimore hOy.
and II lit.ie rough. but withai Il good
hearted fellow, and brave soldier.
lie got badly wounded at Antietam.
and thus laconicaily described the
occurrence and what followed. 90
some people who visited the hospital:
NV hat Is your name:
''Joe parsons.'
CIV hat is the mattcr:''
"Rlint Us Il bat, sir; both eyes
shot out"
"In what tattlc:"
"Antetam.
''IIow did it happcn?''
II WAS lit snl knocked down. and
had 10 he AL night on the battle field.
The fight was renewed tie next day.
and was under fire. | waited and
listened, and presently heard man
groam near me.
"Elalioo," says /.
"lialIoo yourself, says he.
"'Who 10 you*' says |.
"Wao be you:" says he.
"A lanl<ee,' says |.
"Wcll, I'm u reb,' says he.
"What's the natter" says [.
"My ieg's mashed,' says he.
"Can you walk" says L.
"No," says he.
Can you sce:" says L.
eyes, says he.
"Wcll,' says |, ''you'rc n rebel,
but I'll do you a little favor
"Whal's that?" says he.
"My eyes are shot out" says l,
''and if You'll show me the way I'll
carry YOU out, says /.
"All right says he.
Crawl over here" says l; and he
did.
Now, Old Buttcrnut,' says l,
"get on my back and he did.
SEQ ahead.' says he.
''lint the way" says 1, ''for
cant see blessed thing"
''Straight ahead" says he.
The balls were tlyin' all around,
and we trotteu OFF and we We're soor
out of range.
"Bully for you,' says he, "but
you've shook my legs nearly off. ~
''Talle q drunk" says he, holding
up his canteen, and L took Il mp.
"Now let us go on again, says he
kind o slowly, and | took him up
and he did the navigatin' ard l die
the walkin'. After | had carried hin
nearly mile and was almost dead
he said: ''llerc we are let me down.
just then voice said: "Hallo, Billy
where did You get that Yank?''
''In the rebel camp. of course,
says he, and d-n my buttons if tha
rebel hadn't ridden me straight mil
into the rebel camp. Next day Me
Clellan's army advanced and took u
in, and then we shook hands AM
made it up; but it was a mean trlc]
of him, don't you think so?
Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-05-13

If nothing intervenes to prevent,
the editor and lady will leave next
Monday to attend the regular annual
meeting of the Missouri Press Associ-
alton at Sedalia. We are going chiefly
to look after the interests of our af-
fectionate friend, Col. Hutton, candi-
date for Lieutenant Governor. We
arc grooming him for this race. He
has been in training long time, but
has heretofore been jockeyed to death
by overlooking and too much petting
and pampering. But we expect to
take him in hand now, and by rub
bing him down each morning with a
brick and quart of molasses, expect
to have him just too sweet to be
beaten by the time the nominating
convention meets. He has a stylish
gait, no end Of wind, and good form,
and all he lacks now is bottom, and
when he enters the ring at Sedalia we
confidently expect him to show this,
too-he generally does.