Iron County register., 1880-07-01
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
After woman has passed ninety
she is proud of her age. says the De-
troit Free Press.
The good man says: "An things
are for the best" and mentally adds,
IL am the best.'-New Orleans Picay-
Hne.
"A Meridian man has q Bible 142
years old. Strange how long a Bible
may be made to last by temperate
usage.-Boston Transcript.
The evil that men do lives after
them. Cows likewise do not give oleo-
margarine until they are dead.-Phild-
aelphia Chronicle Herald.
There is said to be no foundation
for the report that Mr.. Sankey's new
hymn, "Is your lamp still burning.
brother?" is to be dedicated to Mr..
Edison.
You can't make q horse drink.
This shows how inferior is the horse to
man. You can make q man drink, but
can't always make him pay.-HaUk-
Eye.
AS the time for truly agricultural
fairs draws near, the committees are
hunting around for lawyers and clergy
men to address the farmers upon agri-
cultural topics. Post.
81 smell suffin q burnin'," re-
marked an aged negro who sat at a
camp fire toasting his extremities.
Gosh r. he added in a moment, with
q wild yell, 'it's de niggah's own foot"
"A Georgia paper tells of man who
went all the way from Cassville to At
lanta. On his return he looked solemn
with the weight of garnered wisdom
and said: 8. If the world is big s'otner
way as it is that, its . whopper."
"A lady tells something which ought
to have remained secret with her sex.
1t is that a woman, in choosing a lover,
considers a good deal more how the
man will be regarded by other women
than whether she loves him herself
The undertakers of this State are
going to have a convention at Utica.
Those who suppose this will be funeral
gathering are mistaken. There are no
jollier people than undertakers-when
off duty.-Bmfalo Erpress. They are
grave people but not morose, and out of
business hours they usually spell bier
with two e's.-Syracuse Herald.
-"Well, I'm glad my house clean
ing is over" said Mrs. Brown, with q
sigh of thankfulness. cit must be a
relief" observed Mrs. Smith, who was
calling. But then, how soon will you
need to go through it all again" If she
hadn't looked around in q sort of criti-
III
That call will never be returned.
"A gentleman and his wife, with two
little girls, evidently twins and about
three years of age, are seated at one of
the tables in the dining room waiting
for their breakfast to be brought to
them. One of the little girls who had
been intently observing what was pass
ing, suddenly turned to her sister and
said: a" Why don't papa say draceP'
The reply was, They amt dot any
bod in Rochester. ."-Rochester Union.
AT one of Mrs. SIS dinner par
ties "sweet girl graduate" of one Of
our high schools, daintily pecking at
the delicacies on her plate, overheard a
gentleman opposite mention the name
OF DIR. Hervey." II beg your pardon,
Mr.. B." said she sweetly, "but do
you refer to the distinguished philan-
thropist who invented the circumlocu-
ton of the bloodP' Mr.. B at
tempted to say he did, but uttered q
mouthful of soup instead.-San Fran
cisco Argonaut.
"A man was saving wood yesterday
afternoon in back yard. He severed
two sticks as thick as your wrist and
then went into the house. MARY"
said he to his wife, "my country needs
me; there's no use of talking; we've
just got to slaughter all these Injuns;
no true patriot can be expected to hang
around wood-pile these days. y
"John," said his wife, if you fight
Injuns as well as you saw wood and
support your family, it would take one
hundred and eighteen like you to cap
ture one squaw, and you'd have to
catch her when she had the ague and
throw pepper in her eyes" John went
back to the wood-pile. Lake 7Tib-
n'2e.
The thrush in the thicket is singing,
The lark is abroad on the lea.
And over the garden gate swinging
A maiden is waiting for me.
She will wait till she's weary, Pm thinking,
Though eager am for the tryst;
She will wait till the bright stars are blinking,
And sigh for the kisses she miss'd.
For her father is watchful and wary,
A very ill-tempered old churl,
And Pm not the sort Of canary
To be kicked for the love Of girl.