The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1880-05-28
Wikoff's "reminiscences.
Leaves from the Chevalier's New Book.

AN EMPEROR WHO WOULD HAVE DUMPLINGs
Ferdinand L. was from all accounts, an ami
able but weak-minded man, and took no inter-
est whatever in the government which was
managed by the chief minister, the Prince
Metternich, the real monarch. An amusing
anecdote was current of the emperor, which
his subjects took great delight in repeating. 1t
appears that his majesty was hunting that
summer in the Syrian mountains and was
overtaken by violent thunderstorm. He took
refuge IN farmhouse whose occupants were
Just then at dinner. The emperor's eye was
caught by some smoking dumplings made of
coarse flour, and he said he would like to taste
them. The farmers wife was overioyed, and
helped him plentifully. His chamberlains
were astounded to see their master eating with
more relish than he had ever done before.
When he got back to Vienna he ordered the
same kind of dumplings to be served up daily,
to the horror of the royal cooks The couTtierS
were scandalized at such a homely dish fgur-
ing on the menu, and even his physicians
mo0strated against such coarse food. The en-
peror, who had always been the most plant of
men, now showed he had will of his own,
and persisted in gratifying his new fancy. FL
nally, after long consultation, the physicians
decided it was dangerous to his health to be
living on dumplings, and insisted on his CIV
ing them up. To their astonishment the do
cile sovereign stamped his foot. and declared
he would never sign another official document
if his diet was denied him. Emperor ! am"
he shouted, "and dumplings 1 will haveP To
prevent stoppage of the government machin-
cry, all opposition was withdrawn, and his
majesty clung tenaciously to his dumplings.
The imperial phrase was likely to become pro-
verbal, for already, l heard, if any one in
sisted on the qualification of silly whim, the
emperor's words were sure to be thrown at
him: Emperor am, and dumplings L will
have!'
Another story going the rounds is worth re-
peating. A week or two previously minister
came to the emperors apartment facing on
the street, and begged permission to communi-
cate document before asking his signature.
His majesty sat down by the window, and the
| minister went on reading very lengthy dis
patch At last it was finished, and the en-
peror inquired if he had done.
'I have, your majesty" replied the minis.
ter, much fattered at the close attention paid
him.
''Well, them wish to inform you," replied
the emperor, "that whilst you have been read
ing, nearly two hours, no less than 425 hacks
and 1S0 omnibuses have driven by the Hoff-
burg"
The minister was quite crestfallen to find
the emperor, instead of listening, had been
busy counting the traffic passing the palace.
Some people suspected his majesty was bit OF
a wag, and fond of a practical joke at the ex-
pense of the sticklers for etiquette who sur
rounded him and disturbed the qualification Of
his simple tastes.
THE TYPICAL TURK.
During my perambulations in Smyrna L was
caught by the ingenious face ola handsome
Turk who sat smoking on his stall, with his
legs coiled under him, with an air of supreme
complacency. Ae was a vendor of the per-
fumes for which "Araby the blest" is famous.
1t was pleasant to stand and sniff the min
gled aromas that surrounded the spot. Jars Of
various essences and boxes of spiced shrubs
emitted fragrance ravishing to the nose AS
we examined his sweet scented wares, 1
glanced occasionally at their owner, whose
countenance continued serene and impassive.
He might have passed for statue, so perfect
was the repose of his features and attitude.
There was not the least indication as to our
intentions We would buy if the Prophet so
ordained. We purchased some altar of roses
and other extracts which were no cheaper
than in Paris, but far more genuine. After
the parcels were made up L felt inclined to
have some chat with our marchand. Though
sedate and reticent, as all Turks are, yet there
was frankness in his visage that was encour-
aging; and so bade my interpreter to ask him
if he could be tempted to leave Smyrna and
go to my country, where his rare perfume
would yield him ten times the profit he could
hope for here. At the end of few years, he
might return to the East, rich man.
A look of undisguised astonishment over
spread his face.
"What!'' he exclaimed, '1eave the land of
the Prophet, to go among infidels abandon my
home to accumulate money do not want! L
have enough to eat and drink and my pipe to
smoke. have wife, and please Allah,
hope some day to have another. What more
| have to desire? am satisfied.
This sample Of Turkish philosophy was not
| a little staggering.
"But, tell him." continued to the inter-
| prefer, ''that in my country he would be under
| the protection, of law, where no cadi could
either imprison or bowstring him. He would
| be instructed, would have books and papers to
| read, and might learn what was passing in the
| world; also, in that happy country the padi-
| shah is chosen by the people to govern them,
| and he could take share in his election"
| This enticing description of the advantages
| of a superior civilization were all thrown away
on the incredulous if not contemptuous, Turk"
"What are these things to me?" he answered.
| "Would they make me any happier? Could l
eat or drink more in your country than mine?
| Could smoke more or love more? My faith
ers have always lived in this holy land. Why
should leave it till Allah call me away?
| THE PARIS HACK-DRIvER.
| The cochers, or drivers, piqued my curiosity
| not little. They were the solitary class in
| Paris, who never talked. l could hardly be-
| live they were veritable Frenchmen. They
| sat upon their perches from morn to dewy eve,
neither looking to the right or left, or even
| opening their mouths. What could they be
thinking of always puzzled me. A good many
took refuge in sleep. The only sign of life
they ever gave was when you jumped into
their vehicles, and cried ga 7 heure!''-by the
hour-when they began at once to crack their
| whips, which they did with great dexterity.
| This was meant, I fancy, to wake up the drow-
\ sy horses, for they never touched them with
the lash. The noise of whips could be heard
| all over Paris by day and night. This seemed
to me the solitary abandon in which these
| strange creatures ever INDUCED. The only
| thing they appeared to have in horror was an
| emeute, or insurrection of any sort, for their
coaches were always seized the first thing by
| the mob, to convert into barricades. On the
least symptom of any trouble they vanished from
| the streets, and were heard no more of till Or
der was restored. They were the only human
| beings in Paris who took no interest in poll
| tics. 1t was all the same to them, who reigned
mists, Orleanists, or republicans, they were
ready to drive them all; and so long as the
| gratuity usually given was liberal, they were
| content under what government existed.
In proof OF their ph1loSophlc turn OF mlnd
| l will quote dialogue with one of them, told
by Daliing, who seemed by some mysterious
Or ocess to have enticed him into conversation.
"What were you," he asked, under the
emperor" ,
ga cocher de fiacre,'-a hackney coachman.
was the answer.
And what under Charles X?"
GA hackney coachman."
"I see you are still one under Louis Phil
ippe; but what would you be if republic
came?"
ga hackney coachman," said the cynic of
the box. 'What are dynasties to me? Let
them get on as they can. 1t is no affair of
mine, as 1 never expect to be anything else