Richland beacon., 1880-07-03
PASSING SMILES.

PASSING SMILES.
TIE rest of the week-Sunday.
GENERAL to-pics-chiropodists
A Two-FooT-RULE-don't stumble.
EVERY tramp carries a roamin' nose
IT'S very easy to recover an old UNI
brella.
DUrCHMEN are but boys of lager
growth.
The carriage-maker never tires. The
blacksmith does that for him.
"AFrER Cincinnati, whatT asks
political exchange. o., of course.
No, Mary Ann, q newspaper dress 10
not made Of prints, however suggestive
"THE nearer tho bone tho sweeter the
meat" said the thin girl to her country
lover.
AMAN may be right, and yet be left
AMONG the recognized small vices are
Vice-Presidents.
The holes IN our harbor Notifications
were made for big guns. That il why
they hold the fort.
A PRINTERS girl fell exhausted into
his arms at a ball. 1t was feint to
work in an EN- brace.
JOAQUIN MILLER is said to be very
busy writing a war poem. Mr.. Miller
was very recently married.
FEW spectacles in this world, says the
Albany Journa., are 90 imposing - that
of college boy with his first cane.
TIE cashier of an Eastern bank ran
! away with all the funds and the direc.
tors placarded the door, No Cashier"
JACKSON" But say, who gave away
he brideT Jones-"I forgot, but a.
any rate it was perfect give-away."
CROQUET, says the Boston CONNER
cial Bulletin, will be popular this season
Notwithstanding that it il played out.
WHEN Webster said "there is slwaye
room at the top" he was not referring
to the advertising page of . Newspaper.
TEE oleomargarine flies, with their
brilliantly colored wings, are Autterins
hithel and thither, moro especially
thither
We see at last that We must cease
making Jokes When it gets 20 they are
likely to explode and scare horses it 10
time to stop
AT Q restaurant: "Take away the
sauerkraut; there hair in it, mon.
sieui you astonish me. thought I
had picked them ell outp
"GEr up, my sonl Tho early bird
catches the worm, you knOwl" don't
want to catch no worms, papa, and
have o take nasty mediciner
ATMosPHERIcAI knowledge ID not
thoroughly distributed to our schools.
A boy being asked, "What il mistf'
vaguely responded, IAN umbrella"
A YOUNG man boasted that he had
well-stored mind, whereupon . young
lady muttered, What q pity We can't
find out where he stored i'll"
The New Orleans Picaywne discovsrs
that while the country doctor goes about
doing good, the country politician goes
around talking about doing good.
ONE glass of plain soda water costs
one-tenth If cent, first price. Now We
can understand why it is that a drug
gist clerk can use the most expensive
kind of hair oil and wear . very small
cane
ONE of tho war songs of the Zulus
"Dahi dahl dahl dahl
Ye! 70! yei ysi'
The enemy is supposed to take to fight
as soon - the song is started.
The Western girl who persistentIy
declared that abe believed all country
editors are not only very handsome, but
immensely wealthy, has been adjudged
insane, ssys the Hackensack Repv6!i-
can.
WHEN . fond parent finds that bis
little son has emulated tho example of
the father of his country IN regard to
arborcul,ure, he raises tho wind imme-
diately; that is Il. say, he puts the heir
in motion.
AN Irish gentleman in London being
told by An officer of bank that he had
overdrawn his account, replied that he
was not in the habit of twitting them
when he had money in their vaults, and
he did not want to be twitted by them
when he had none.
NOTHING is more pathetic than to go
, gentleman rise in a street car and offer
his seat TO lady who has been standing
for q mile, overcome her protestations,
and finally receive hsr gratitude, and
then, with a benignant and sstisied
! smile, hop right of q. his own door.
: "DRINKwATER is dead at last 70.
marked Jonesbury - he entered the
house the other evening. "Oh, dear," /"
exclaimed Mrs. j.; "but then his widow
u left comfortable. He's we'll of, isn't
, he? He is noso," replied Jonesbury
) with An emphasis on the "now," that
Mrk Jonesbury didn't more than like.