, 1880-08-27
A Rich Hat Story.

ltSG week III Culs Guy, anu lHe laCJ IHaI
there is no Vigilance Committee here,
is the only reason the perpetrators of
the trick are alive. A business man
had purchased a new stiff hat, and he
went into saloon with half a dozen
friends to fit the hat on his head. They
took beer and passed the hat around so
all could see it. One of the meanest
men that ever held q country Office went
to the bartender and had thin slice Of
Limburg cheese cut off, and when the
owner was looking at the frescoed cell
ing through beer glass, this wicked
person slipped the cheese under the
sweat-eather of the hat, and the man
put it on and walked out. The man who
owned the hat is one of your nervous
people, who is always complaining of be-
ing sick, and who feels as though some
dreadful disease was going to take. pos
session of him and carry him off. He
went back to his place of business, took
off his hat and laid it on the table, aud
proceeded to answer some letters. He
thought he detected a. smell, and when
his partner asked him if he didn't feel
! sick; he said he believed he did. A
clerk said it was evident that somebody's
feet needed washing. The man turned
pale, and he guessed he would 90 home.
lie met a man On the, sidewalk who
said the air was full of miasma, and in
the street car, man sat next to him
moved away to the end of the car, and
asked him if he had just come from Chi,
cago. The man with the hat said he
had not when the stranger said they
were having great deal of smallpox
there, and he guessed he would get out
and walk, and he pulled the bell and
jumped off The cold perspiration broke
out on the forehead of the man with the
new hat, and he took it off to wipe his
forehead, when the wholepiece of cheese
seemed to roll over and breathe, and the
man got the full benefit of it, and he
came near fainting away. He got home
and his wife met him and asked him
what was the matter He said he be.
lieveG modification had set in, and she
took one Whit, as he took of his hat,
and said she should think it had.
"Where did you get into it," said she.
''Get into ltl" said the man, 81 have not
got into anything; but some deadly dis
ease has got hold on me, and l shall not
live" She told him if any disease that
smelled like that had got hold of him,
and was to be chronic, she felt as though
he would be a burden to himself if he
lived very long. She got his clothes of,
soaked his feet in mustard water, and
he slept The hat was lying on the cen
tre-table, and the children would come
in and get smell Of it and look at each
other with feproachful glances, and 60
out and play again. The man slept and
dreamed that a smallpox flag was hung
in front of his house, and that he was
riding in a butchers wagon to the pest
house The woman sent fer doctor,
and when the man of pills arrived she
told him all about the case. The doc
tor picked up the patients new hat,
tried it on, and got sniff He said
the hat was picked before it was ripe.
The doctor and the wife held post mol
tenn examination of the hat, and found
the slice of Limberger, "Few and short
were the prayers they said" They woke
the patient, and to prepare his mind for
the revelation that was about to bemade,
the doctor asked him if he had made his
will He said he had not, but that he
wanted lawyer sent for at once. The
doctor asked him if he felt as though he
was prepared to shuttle of. The man
said he had always tried to lead a elf
ferent life, and had tried to be done by
the same as he would do it himself, but
that ne might have piade mistake some
way, and that he would like to have
minister sent for to take an account of
stock.
Then the doctor brought to the bed,
side the hat, opened up the sweat-lether
and showed the dying man what it was
that smelled so, and told him that he
was as well as any man in the city. The
patient pinchea himself to see if he was
alive, and jumped out of bed and called
for his revolver, and the doctor couldn't
keep up with him onthe way down town.
The last we saw of the odoriferous citi
zen he was trying to bribe the bartender
to tell him which one of those pelicans
it was that put that slice of cheese in
his hat-lining. Little Rock Gazette.