Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1880-06-24
Fun, Fancy and Flashes.

uh, dlIc. anu ldSHtS.
A dear little thing diamond.
The mother of vinegar is a very sharp
old lady.
Queen Victoria rules the English and
Chief Victoria rules the Arizona In
dams.
Lord Beaconsfeld is said to be writ
ing new book, and to be contemplate
ing matrimony
Freckles are not so bad. 1t is said
one girl does not object to seeing them
on another girls face.
Strauss, the musical composer; who
now lives IN Paris and is "A years old.
has a passion for bric-a-brdc
He said her hair was dyed; and,
when she Indignantly exclaimed, lis
false" he said he presumed so.
Joseph Cook denies through the col
umns Of the New York Observer, that he
is either the friend or defender of Spir-
itualism
In some respects the gentler sex far
surpass us. No man, for instance, can
deliver lecture with a dozen pins in
his mouth.
1t is awful hard to realize that wo-
man is an angel when one sees her
pick up clothes-prop fourteen feet
long to drive two-ounce chicken out of
the yard
A bunch of American shingles which
was washed ashore on the island of
Madagascar was put to popular use
Two hundred and fifty children were
accommodated
A stranger, passing churchyard and
seeing a hearse standing hard by. in
quired who was dead. The sexton in
formed him. "What complaint" ask
ed the inquisitive one. Said the old
man, ''There is no complaint; everybody
is satisfied"
In concluding an article on the last
corn crop an Alabama editor remark
ed. 1--WE have on exhibition in our
sanctum a magnificent pair of ears"
An exchange prints an article by Mrs.
III. B. Stowe, entitled "Why Men Fall +"
The most frequent cause of mans fall
in summer and fall is attributable to
banana and peach skins on the side
walk. And beer and whisky the rest of
| the year. But Mrs Stowe, queerly
enough, doesn't enumerate either of
these causes.
"Well, Father Brown, no.. did you
like my sermon Yesterday" asked Il
young preacher. aye see, parson," was
the reply, 81 haven't a fair chance at
them sermons of yourn. I'm an old
man, now, and have to set pretty well
back by the stove; and there's old Miss
Smithe, Widder Taft, n Mrs. Rylan's
darters, n Nabby Brit n all the rest,
setting ia front of me with their mouths
wide open, a swallerin' down all the
best of the sermon; N what gets down
tonne IS putty poor stuff, parson, putty
poor stuff"
Of the wives of the various candidates
for the presidency, past and present,
Mrs. Randall is pronounced by the Cos
sips to be quiet dignifed, deeply relig-
Gus, and very unambitOus: she is always
called Mother" by her husband, Mrs.
| Thurman is on the shady side of life,
practical and domestic. The dark-eyed
Mrs. Bayard has the graceful and pol
ished southern manners, and goes but
little into society. Mrs Field is Il blonde,
with luminous gray eyes, very intellect
4 1ts'I teiAu VI IlllStiAt, ftllU IoNCIy hIS.
Morrison is plump, rosy animated, af-
fable, and entirely at her ease socially,
Mrs. Grant is dark, near-sighted, cross
eyed, simple in her manners, and very
| kindly. Mrs. Sherman is tall willowy
and very benevolent. Mrs. Washburne
is petite and dark-eyed, q fine and en-
thusiastic talker, is of French extrac-
ton, and shows her acquaintance with
foreign life. Mrs. Blaine has q mag
nificent appearance and very distin-
guished carriage, is educated and in
telligent, receives like queen, and
keeps his house as a general plans his
campaign. Mrs. Edmunds has poor
health, and has spent much time III
Europe on account of it; she has good
deal artistic ability paints well, and her
her pictures adorn her drawing-room she
has the New England repose of man
ner. Mrs. Garfield is delicate, very
domestic, and devoted to her family.
Mrs. Window is tall, graceful, engaging
has magnetic manner, and teaches
| her own children.
| Runaway Husband