The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1880-10-02
NEGOTIATIONS

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become women.
Speaking of the Moderation Society, the Bur
hngton Hawkeye says its guiding principal pro-
hIbits more than one drink at q time.
Says French critic: '' like girl before she
gsts vomanish, and q woman before she gets
Eirlish.'
The society lady never shed tears She knows
enough to keep her powder dry.
An innocent exchange has a dissertation on
I" Why the hair comes out After the editor
gets married be will write wholly on other sub
jects, deeming that too simple.
The expression Of boys face at the end Of q
straw that lacks two inches Of reaching the cider
in n barrel is supposed to be the model that the
hrtist selected in the delneatiOn of Adam leaving
Paradise.
An old lady with several unmarried daughters
Jed them on fsh diet, because il is rich in phos-
Phorus, and phosphorus is the essential thing in
naking matches.
A youth invested 81 so through q New York
advertisement to discover " How to appear well
in society The recipe which be received by
return mail was short, simple and easily under
stood: Always keep your nose clean, and don't
suck more than one finger at q time
Professional pomPosity is well taken of in the
following anecdote: Shields doctor docking
learned and speaking slowly, - Well mariner,
which tooth do you want extracted? Is it the
molaT OF incisor2 p Jack (short and sharp), "It
il in the upper tier, on the IaEboard side. Bear
hand, you swab, for it Is nipping my Jaw like
q lobster"
The New York Herald says Of '' treating:"-
% This habit of standing is the Of more
physical and mental discomfort than every other
conviTial custom combined. (" The Herald knows
A negro put upon the stand q witness,
and the judge inquired IL he understood the
nature Of an oath. 81 For certng, boss said the
citizen, ''f swears to lie must stick to him.. =
Blanche :" Delicious verses, aren't they,
Algy2 Now tell me- what passage in all the
poets do you like the best? Algy, (whO has long
been waiting to change the subject to one moro
Immediately interesting: y q Well, | think L
prefer the one in Dante, where he says That
night they read no more"
NJ. Gustave Dore has in hand large picture
illustrating the text, ''Come unto me all ye that
labour and are heavy laden
NJ. Hyacinthe Loyson (Pere Hyscinthe) has
commenced a series Of lectures IN the French
language upon the subject OF Positive ChristIa-
nifty.
h Mr.. LongfeIloW has in hand the libretto Of an
opera, the music Of which will be composed by
Mr. Alfred CeIlIer, the author Of the =" Sultan Of
+Mecea'' T.
The English Admiralty has adopted the NOrden-
fsldt barrelled gun, which fires IL solid steel
shots per second, for use in the navy
The General staff in Berlin has been making
coast TO ascertain it's powers Of defence in the
event Of descent upon it by hostile feet
The Emperor Of China goes through the form
every year OF holding the plough, TO show bis
people, BY example, that no man ought to be
ashamed Of being a farmer.
A wag brought horse driven by young man
% stop 10 the street by the word - whoa and
there J" |" Yes" answered the young man,
80 but be has one fault He formerly owned
by q butcher, and always stops when he hears q
calf blsat.''
% Father said a lad, F" have often read Of
people being poor. but honest, why don't they
sometimes say rich but honest p
It is inferred from the hero,sm with which
Spartan women used to encourage their husbands
20 20 forth 90 battle that they looked well in
black.
lawyer in Virginia, not remarkable for his
cleanliness Of person, appeared as-a party a while
ago with rose in his button-hole - Where do
you suppose IL came from y said he to q brother
lawyer who was admiring it. The latter looked
up and down the entire length Of the questioner,
and with great deliberation responded: Why
I suppose it grew there7"
The dramatic editor Of French paper had oe-
eaaion recently to criticise severely the perform
ance Of q somewhat popular actress Shortly at
forwards the lover Of the young lady met the
journalist il the theatre, and presented him with
packet Of goose-quills: "This, sir, said be, - Is
present. from Miss k " What" exclaimed
the critic, "a did she tear all these out Of you
herself5 How you must have suffered
THE PHILOSOPHY OF BozHErs.-Let woman wear
. bonnet she knows TO be pretty and beeoming, and
ik viii make al the difference in the world IN nsr
manner She is ready to greet every one with
smils her eyes shining and her face dimpiing a
the slightest pruvocation but put fright upon ner
hsad- Q homemade combination which rag-bag ana
gArrst have been rAnsAeksd to produce-end you nay
oncs observe how painfuy abe realizes the fact Of
its unbecomngness- She 10 afraid SMILE for fear
some one viii fancy she thinks her bonnet perfect
love, while she IS dying Of moFtifcation account
Of IL She nerxously regards every who 10 coo-
versng IN q low tone near her, aud IL any one hap
pens % smie, she d convinced st once that her
luckleas bonnet being made the subject Of ridieale
She grests her most intimate friends nervousy; she
ansvers no When she should say yes; she 10 eroD
without apparent occasion, and thereby sstonishes
her husband, for really ugly bonnet viii put the
pleasAntast woman in the world out Of temper. But
In . handsome bonnet-one which is Q {" -sal love-"
"a woman takes unbounded dslig feeling
10 oftsn ndisuled BY the sterner th~v
were wise. they would be thankfr
sisters. OF daughters take Co 20
simple, harmless, and rein
they may profess to derid
are pl,Assd % tsrm fol
hi % ZEE that the ladyJ
far more attention from