The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-09-30
THIS AND THAT.

WATCH utteu WIN seCOuu uRuu
need not necessarily he secondhand
watch.
MAUD ian aristocratic child: "How
pretty and clever you are, mother I'm
so glad you married into our family
A FRENCH traveller, who has just com.
pleted II trip around the world, say sthat
the Americans are the most serious peo-
pie he encountered.
A MAN has invented a chair that can be
adjusted to 800 different positions. II is
designed for boy to sit in when he goes
to church.
The passion for antiquities is on the
increase, but old ladies are not appreci-
atcd more highly than ever. Neither
are mothers-in-law.
How DO you define BLACK as your
hat :? " said schoolmaster to one OF his
pupils. Darkness that may be felt"
replied the youthful wit.
A POLITICAL speech is something in
which mans statements are apt to
come back to him, just as if it were
boom harangue.
AN lrishman on seeing very small
coffin exclaimed: els it possible that
coffin was intended for any living Great
ure?'
"WHERE have you been for a week
back? asked Felix Dunshudder. Gust
been in for a couple of porous plasters,
was the reply.
LIQUID glue: Glue, water, vinegar,
each three parts; dissolve in a water
bath; then add alcohol, one part. An
excellent cement
A FELLOW in New Orleans is said to
have eaten a box of CASTLE soap to get
rid of frecklcs. He still has few on
his face, but inside he isn't freckled a
bit.
How DOTH the little busy bee
Oh, as well rs can be expected under the
circumstances. We have just mashed
him for unfolding his interest-sting tail,
ding bat him !
Mrs. MYRTLE says that in the cities
they have an invention that will consume
smoke, and she will be overjoyed if now
they will invent something that will con-
sumo the smokers.
els YOUR house warm one, land.
lord ?" asked a lady in search of dwell
ing. 1t ought to be; the painter
has Just given it two coats" was the re-
ply.
IT is said that there is one COW to
every four persons in this country, and
if the wells and springswere to fail some
of us would be put on short allowance OF
milk and cream.
The plump, nice-looking spring chick
ems that are allowed to roam about the
lawns in the vicinity Of seaside hotels
are merely walking advertisements.
They are not intended for table use.
THE educated man, other things being
equal, makes better farmer than the
uneducatcd man, Just as certainly as n
sharp ax will do more execution than a
dull one in the same hands.
A BLIND girl has excelled all previous
members of the fourth class in the high
school at Portland, Me-, by attaining a
rank of 100 in all her studies for one
month, except Latin, and SO in that
A wAsHERwoMAN, regular and at
teutive listener at church, was COM
mcnded by her pastor. Eyes, she
said, latter my hard weeks work is
done, get so rested to come to church,
and sit and think about nothin' p
A WISE man writes to the papers that
the only "true way to health is to eat
moderately, drink temperately, sleep
regularly, and avoid excess in every
thing" Well, that is good way, too.
Another good way is to keep well.
WHEN, upon inquiry after young
lady's health, we learn from her own
lips that she is "nicely," we know that
she was born in New England, and that
she would be "purty well out West
and tolerable" in the South.
WHEN newspaper mans face is
wreathed in smiles it is impossible to
tell whether he has drawn lottery
prize of $4,000, or just heard of a
| nitro-glycerine explosion whereby six
men we're blown to pieces We only
know that he feels happy.
HERE is gallant explanation Of one
of the fashions of the last century:
| When the maid mean to marry
of evenings go to see,
| invariably carry
Watches twain along with me.
| One IL hours and hours too fast,
| T'oher hours and hours too slow;
| rs the first We meet, the last
| consult when should go.
FooLscAP paper derives its name from
the fact that paper of that size once bore
the mark of FOOLS head with cap and
bells, Just as post size paper once had
the mark of a post-boy's horn. In the
middle of the seventeenth century, how
ever, the English makers substituted a
figure OF Britannia for the FOOLS head.