Martinsburg independent. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1875-1900, 1880-08-21
A Domestic DiaIogue.

A Domestic Dialogue.
my dear" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, feeling up the CHIMNEY,
"have you seen my gold collar
button ?''
II saw it the day you bought
H." answered Mrs. Spoopendyke,
cheerily; land thought 1t very
pretty. Why do you ask ?"
"'Cause I've lost the measly
thing" responded Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, running the broom handle
up into the cornice and shaking it
as If it were carpet.
"You don'tsuppose it is up there
do you ?" asked .Spoopendyke.
Where do you suppose I'd leave 1t
in the hash ?" and Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke tossed over the things in his
wife's writing desk and looked out
of the window after it.
"Where did you leave your
shirt ?" asked Mrs Spoopendyke.
"Where did / leave NV shirt Z?
Where do you suppose / left it /?
Where does a man generally leave
his shirt, Mrs. Spoopendyke?
Think / left it in the ferryboat /?
Got an idea / left 1t at prayer
meeting, haven't you? Well, l
didn't. / left it off. Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. That's where l left it. |
left it off. Hear meg" And Mr..
Spoopendyke pulled the winter
clothing out of the cedar chest that
hadn't been unlock ed for month.
Where is the shirt now 2" per-
sisted Mrs. Spoopendyke.
where do you suppose it is !?
Where do you imagine it is !? III
tell you where it is, Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke; it's gone to Bridgeport as a
witness in a land suit. Idea! Ask
a man where his shirt is! You
know / haven't been out of the
room since l came home last night
and took it off," and Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke sailed down stars and
raked the fire out of the kitchen
range, but didn't find the button.
"Maybe you lost it on the way
home," suggested Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke, as her husband came up,
hot angry, and began to pull q
stuffed canary to pieces to see If the
button had got inside.
"Oh, yes! Very likely! I stood
up against tree and lost it. Then
l hid behind fence, so l wouldn't
see ii. That's the way it was. If
/ only had yosr head, Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke, I'd turn loose as a razor
strop. L uon't know anything
sharper than you are - and Mr..
Spoopendyke clutched q handful
of dust off of the top of the ward
robe.
at must have fallen out" mus
ed Mrs. Spoopendyke.
ooh! it must, eh! 1t must have
fallen out? Well. Ideclare, new
err thought of that: My impress
sion was that it took a buggy and
drove out, or balloon and hoisted
out" and Mr.. Spoopendyke crawl
ed behind the bureau and COM
menced tearing up the carpet. l
"And it fell out, it must be
somewhere near where he left his
shirt. Now he always throws his
shirt on the lounge and the button
is under that" M joL .a.lI
Amoments search soon establish
ed the infal!ibility of Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke's logic.
ooh, yes! Found it,didn't your"
painted Mr.. Spoopendyke, as he
bumped his head against the bu-
reau and finally climbed 10 per-
pendicular. "Perhaps you'll fix
my shirts so that they won't fall
out any more, and maybe you'll
have sense enough to mend that
lounge, now it has made SO much
trouble. If you only tended to
the house as L do to my business,
there'd never be any difficulty
about losing a collar button,"
--"It wasn't my fault"-began
Mrs. Spoopendyke.
| WASN'T; eh! Have you found
that coal bill you've been looking
for since March -
eyes"
shave, eh! Now where did
you put it? Where did you find
SIN your overcoat pocket.