Connecticut western news., 1880-02-11
WIT AND WISDOM

Good deeds pan out better than good intentions. ...s
 The wicked flea, when no man pur- sueth, biteth vehemently. ..t
 New York policemen cannot be de- scribed as scamp-followers. E',g
 It requires au abler man to take ad-- vice than it does to give it.
 A tornado is a great blow to any country, says an exchange. -'r
 -" Watch!" said the secondhand, "Ill be around in a minute. ...a.
 -Ce sar's Commentaries by the sheriff when making levy.
 -Chinamen cannot understand why Englishmen hate mice and love tripe.
 It is not what an office holder steals that makes him rich. It is what he saves. .-.,., m,
 The mule trade is now very active in all quarters, especially the hind quarters. '
 One of the effe cts of the present mild winter is the sight of hand organs in bloom in the open ar. .... .aJ
 A Washington correspondent no- tices that in promenading the men there take the women's arms.
 -Is it not singular that no one has got up corner on loafers, just to offset the loafers on corners?
 Buffalo Bill in his book tells of beef cattle so poor that he had to prop them up to shoot them down. t.o ,'o''
 They don't go sleigh-riding in Ne vada. A lover merely asks his girl to slide down Q hill seven miles long with him. .-' -'''
 Those people who think that Jonah could not zee in the whales belly are probably not aware that there were plenty of lights there.
 The principal beauty of the Mor- mon religion is that the same woman doesn't have to get up first the entire winter to build the kitchen fire. -
 A little girl looking out of tie window the other day saw hearse go past and cried out, " Look, mamma here goes the sky 'buss." ~r-a-ga,-
 The man whom you kant git to write poetry or tell the truth until you git him half drunk, aint worth the in- vestment.- -[Josh Billings. .u r., ,,-.
 -"The men of to-day are too high strung" says Chicago paper. Some of them, the Norristown Herald thinks, are not strung high enough.
 Tt is barely possible that B iison is holding his electric light back until he can achieve the greater invention of s meter for it that will equal the gas meter. .. .-. ...r,--..s . ,.,
 -"Single man, sir?" asked the lawyer as the witness took his place. "Yes, sir," was the reply. Lawyer: "Wife iving2" Confusion and rapid explanations. r' '1'
 A clever editor: says: The world is wide and public opinion is lax, but the stigma of having acted in bad faith is Q very large load for one man or any set of men to carry. .l / - \ ic
 It is understood that @ man cannot be tried twice for the same crime of murder unless he happens to be con- victed the first time. Ia that case he may be tried until he is acquitted.
 If you watch a woman's mouth closely when she dresses the children for Sunday-school, you'll find out where all the pins come from, and, of course, it must be where they all go.
 The Bloomington Pantagraph re- ports the gooseberry bushes in that city putting out leaves. And the Peoria zranscri1t says that they surely must be goose berries to do it. ........4 ,'
 A big head does not make a news- paper article interesting, and it is the same with human bsing-although he may wear corrugated brow and roll iug eye. zs. -.'fe .. .nr :s.s
 We have none of your common tramps in our village lookup. The other morning six spruce-looking chaps, with Picadilly collars, were let out to go on their way rejoicing. T Wappingers. Era. .- What was it? Iwent out in the woods and got it. After got itI looked for it. The more I looked for it the less I liked it. I brought it home in my hand because I couldn't find it.-A silver. '., e.gs .
 A fashion item says :: French milliners are once again trying the plan of setting wings on each side of hat, making it look like petasus." Ladies might as we'll be out of the world as out of petasuses. ........
 A botanist says there are 42,000 diff. ferent kinds of weeds in the United States, and every man is willing to swear that 41,000 of them were to be found ln the garden that he. took care oi when @ boy. rr.- ...-. ....~'.
 -" Been having your boots half soled ?" asked Tom. "Well, yes." said Ben, who was looking a little seedy "but they're not half sold as my hat. , And it was just three o'clock the nex' afternoon before Tom understood just what he meant by 1t. -.,s -- Old Prosy-" What I say is this, doc tor approve entirely of fox-huntine as a manly, health-giviug and invigor' ating amusement, but not as a pursuit sir" Irish Doctor" Faith, yell fiuG many t agree with ye there. Especially foxes." .-..' ..s Stunning piece of hunor from F Punch: "The Ute Indians in Colo rado are reported to have been giving kro7b bla ko kh as r ,,a;<rh borM The haa<