The Vancouver independent. (Vancouver, W.T. [Wash.]) 1875-1910, 1880-09-16
Current Notes.

weights on slender wires.
No cloud is thick enough to separate
the believer from his Lord.
Why does a donkey prefer thistles to
corn? Because he's an ass.
1t is as much your duty to entertain
others as theirs to amuse you.
Why is a whisper forbidden in polite
society Because it is not aloud.
Why is an adjective like a drunken
man. Because it can't stand alone.
Special privileges and enjoyments gain
their ~preciousness from their rarity.
The Queen of Greece washes her own
dishes. Let us soap Greece is proud Of
her.
Why is an eloquent speaker like a
river? Because it is greatest at the
mouth.
Whether a bird in the hand is worth
two in the bush depends upon the nature
of the bird.
Confidence cannot dwell in the Fort
ress of friendship, when selishness is
porter at the gate.
What is the difference between a bee
and a donkey? One has honey and the
other has the wacks.
Nine Englishmen out of ten who
smoke are unable to distinguish a good
cigar from a Dad one.
Mediate long. mediate humbly on
what it is to have a Creator, and COM
fort will come at last.
What a pity the census was not taken
during melon season, when half our pop
uiation is doubled up.
A man at Hackensack has a cat that
devours c%ucumbers. Imagine the mid
night melody of that cat.
To maintain a steady and unbroken
mind, amidst all the shocks of the world,
marks a great and noble spirit.
A photographer lately took the por-
trait of a lady so admirably that the bus
band preferred it TO the original.
An Englishman upon hearing the
cackling in a poultry yard exclaimed,
"Oh, this is really henchanting."
Wisdom consists not in seeing what
is directly before us, but in discerning
those things which may come to pass.
The young man who didn't get out of
the way of the omnibus in time says he
felt rather stage struck for a moment.
A Newark man, on bis way to jail for
assaulting his wife, thanked God it was
for no disgraceful oflense like stealing.
God is a sure paymaster. He may
not pay at the end of the week, month
or year; but remember he pays in the
end.
Old mems lives are heightened shad-
ows; their evening sun falls coldly on
the earth, but the shadows all point to
the morning.
An Irish gentleman, speaking Of the
scarcity of feed in Utah, says that thou
sands Of cattle have had to be killed to
save their lives.
A family Of young ladies', who reside
up town.. SO often entertained their ON
pany on the front stoon. that they have
gained the title of step-sisters.
Careful housewife lifting a shoe from
the soup tureen)-La! who'd a thought
baby's shoe would turn up in the soup?
But | knew it wasn't lost. l never lose
anything!
Life is a pack of cards. Childhood's
best cards are hearts; youth is captured
by diamonds; middle age is conquered
with a club, while old age is raked in by
the Unsuitable spade.
A New Jersey woman placed a red
hot glass egg in the nest, and the hen
soon lost all appetite for setting. The
fact that the barn was burned down and
the hen persisted in the flames may deter
some woman from trying the same ex.
pertinent, but it can be rendered as 60
ing right to the spot.
Wise old gentleman-"Now, can any
little girl or boy tell me who makes these
great rocksl" Little boy - "God."
VERY good, and what does he make
them Off Second little boy-"Make
'em outer little ones" Every well, but
where does he get the little onesr Long
pause. Little girl-"Pounds up the big
ones"
The following is the system of disln-
lection recommended by the Austrian
government for vessels that had cases of
on board: Sulphur to the ex-
tent of IL grains per cnhic naetre of