Centre Democrat. [volume] (Bellefonte, Pa.) 1848-1989, 1880-10-28


an there she was n. standin' afore the
minister's house in Starboro', fifteen
miles from home, an with no more idea
of marryin' Charley Clifford than you or
7 hev this mint of marryin' Queen
Victoria.
But Charley put on steam an talked
away to her at a tremendous rate on ac-
count of Sans bein' behind 'em. Then
thezgal got all broken up again in the
narves, an while she was a-cryin' and
wringin' her hands, the other wagon
drew up.
But the man that jumped out wasn't
Sam Parker. 1t was Jed Billings-Jed
Billings, gentlemen, as good feller as I
ever met an the best man with a pitch
fork in the two counties.
Then the gal Strengthened up an went
right into Jed's arms, as straight as a
chipmunk slips into holler tree.
OF course this was war, an, arter q
lovin' embrace, Jed lets her down on
the minister's steps an prepares to go
for Charley.
I'm teach you, you young lpettifog
ger" said he, "to play tricks like these"
an he was a-haulin' off in that dynamite
style of his, when Jennie jest stepped up
atwixt 'em.
Now, gentlemen, like the female ele-
ment myself, as l suppose the hull on ye
does, an / appreciate 'em as angels and
peace-makers an all that; but it must
be allowed that Jennie did spile what
would hev been the goljambdest fight
that ever took place in Seuigg county.
Mind yer, the stakes were $4,000, an
Charley had good deal of standby in
him, if he was iortune-hunter; an as
for Jed, everybody knows he's got q
hogsheadful o. pluck allus on hand. It's
shame, gentlemen, the mill didn't
come off; TO this day, whenever a man
gets little hard cider in him about
here he wrastles his tongue with some
body rs to which would hev licked.
But Jed an Charley only lafls about it
now, an wouldn't muss for anything.
Where was I2 Oh, yes. Well, Jen.
ME stepped atwixt 'em, an says:
at was all my fault, Jed-it was all
my fault, an only did it to see If you'd
be jealous. rm cruel, hateful, wicked
girl, an il you won't fight, dear Jed, I'll
go into the minister's with you now,
provided you'll git me home afore my
aunt's up in the mornin', an then I'll
marry you in church as soon rs can git
ready proper. love you, Jed, an If
you love me you won't want TO do any
thin to hev this business talked about
till afterwards"
You can see, gentlemen, she was a
level-headed gal arter all.
Then she turns. as cool as cowcum-
ber, to Charley, an she.says:
81 know why you an your friend
wanted TO git me. As it stands now, you
tried to fool me an had to return the
compliment"
AN now Jed's fooled you pretty
good" said Charley, lafiin.
Then they all OF a. latin, an Jed caved
an Charley caved, an all went into the
minister's, Charley actin as witness.
Jest as they came out, Sam drew up,
with his hoss lame in three legs. He
looked pretty sour when Jed introduced
Jennie rs Mrs. Billings
Jennie was taken to her aunt's a-hyin'
an Charley followed at two-mie-an-
hour gait, with Sans horse hitched on
Charley's buggy to keep him up, an Sam
walkin' aside of him to jest stimmerlate
him up, now and then.
The perticlers didn't leak out till long
arter the church weddin', and then there
was some big fun over it.
Everybody knows now that Jed's
made that new stock farm o. his pay like
blazes. an Jennie's as quiet and stiddy
as the Mulbrytown guide-post, an a
good deal more charitable.
When old Judge Parker died, Sam
took his practice, an then sold out to
Charley an went West. Charley has
married likely gal on the creek, for
love. an is a-doin' well.
But how was it," asked one of the
listeners, "that edEmanaged to be on
hand in timer"
1t was this way, gentlemen, said the
old granger. Jed was a-fixin' leak in
the roof of his barn, when Sam Parker
drove up to the crossroads that night,
an he recognized the old gig. When it
stopped an let Charley down an then
went hyin' up the back road, Jed
thought somethin' was up. So he crep'
alongside the stone wall, an before long
he was a-watchin' Charley instead o.
Charley a-watchin' him. Then, when
Charley got sick of his job an then
went down to the direction of the livery
stable, Jed jest chucked his hoss in his
buggy--an' there amt no better piece o.
hoss-fiesh between here an Greenfield
an follered him up.
But Charley he'd a good start; so Jed
got to Eatonville about ten minutes ar
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