davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18
WHERE THE DIB,FERENOE MODEST
LY CAME IN.

A certain gentleman requiring legal assist
ance WAS recommended to one of two brotli-
ers, but had forgotten the Christian name Of
him he sought, SO he called at the Office Of
the one first found and asked for Mr.. Podger.
That is my name, sir"
g But there are two of you of that name
here in town.
Yes"
/" Well, wish to consult the Mr.. Podger---
excuse me for the allusion-who wears a
wig"
/" We both wear wigs, sir" ~
" Well the man seek was divorced from
his wife not long ago"
I" There you hit us both again, SIR"
" The man to whom was recommended
has recently been accused of forgery, though
l trust. unjustly."
There we are again, my dear sir. We have
both had that gentle insinuation laid at our
DOORS"
/" Well, upon my word, you two brothers
bear striking resemblance. But I guess
have it now. The one am after is in the
habit of occasionally drinking to excess
sometimes to intoxication."
I" My dear man, that little vice is unfortu-
nately the characteristic of the pair Of us,
and doubt if our best friends could tell you
which was the worst"
Well, you are matched pair certainly
But tell me-" continued the visitor, +" which
of the twain 1t was that took the poor debt
ors oath few months ago? p"
g Ha, ha, we were both in that muddle. !
was on Bob's paper aud he was on mine"
" In mercy's name = cried the applicant
desperately, :. will you tell me which Of the
two is the most sensible man ?"
All there you touch bottom, my friend.
Poor Bob can't stretch the truth, even to
serve brother. II you want the more sens
ible one of the two suppose must acknowl
edge the corn. I'm the man. Terry Enter
prise.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

In reply to correspondent, who asks for
information as to how dogs should be clipped,
the Oil'City Derrick gives the following di-
rections FIRST obtain dog then get a
good large hickory club. Prepare your dog
by tying him to post, and then clip him ov-
or the head with the club about five hundred
times.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18
JUDGE JEREMIAH s. BLA0K'S OPIN
wvIoN or GAREKELD.

81 hare bean General Gdraszd's dsoofsd
friend for many gears, and 1 am resolved thai
Insges wiu believe that he does not deser0e tht
Gtsction hare BESTOWED upon hsus II HH
WOULD CARRY THE PRINCIPLES WHICH REau,
LATE HIS PRIVATE LIFE INTO HIS FuBLrc
CONDUCT HE WOULD MAKE THE BEST CHIEF
MAdlsrRAvE WE HAVE EYER HAD. But be
win act for the interests Of his party, as he
has acted all his lifetime, and that will re
quire him TO take the advice which Stephens
gave to Montpelius 10 the buckshot war.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18
ROSE OF CASHMERE HAIR TONIC.

This preparation is made from the roses of the VAL
Icy of Cashmere ard is entirely free from Sulphur.
Lead and other poisonous and irritating substances.
II is richly perumed and renders the of powders
hair oils, De- unnecessary. 1t preserves. softens and
beauties the hair and gives it rich ustre. 1t is
cellent for irritating inhamed scalp. II never
turns rancid. Druggists sell it. ASCHENBACH MIL
LER, proprietors Sd and Callowhill Sts, Phila. Pa
June 23-Iy.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

" See. here" said fault-fnding husband,
1--WE must have things arranged in this house
so that we shall know just where everything
is kept" With all my heart, !" sweetly an
swered his wife F" and now let US begin with
your late hours, my love. I should dearly
like TO know where they are kept" He lets
things run on as usual.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

The very first speech that Gen. Garfield
made in Congress, some seventeen years ago.
shortly after taking his seat, had the ring of
genuine metal in it. It was in reply to Hon.
Alexander Long, fierce Copperhead repre-
senting Cincinnati In Congress. Long advo-
Gated the recognition of the Southern Con-
federacy. Garfield began his reply to Long
connected with the Revolution. The first was
Lord Fairfax, who felt 1t his duty to go with
the mother country, and Benedict Arnold,
who was the traitor to his country's cause
Lee was the Lord Fairfax, and went with his
State. Continuing, he said
But now, when tens Of thousands of
brave souls have gone up to God under the
shades of the flag when thousands more
MANNED and shattered in the contest are sad
ly awaiting the deliverance of death now,
when three years of terrific warfare have rag
ed over us, when armies have pushed the Re-
crowded 1t into narrow limits until roll OF
fire girds 1t how, when the uplifted hand
of magnetic people Is about to hurl the bolts
of conquering power upon the Rebellion
now, in the quiet of this hall, Matched in the
lowest depths of similar dark treason, there
rises Benedict Arnold and proposes to sur
render up all, body and spirit, the Nation and
Flag, It's genius and its honor, now and for.
ever, to the accursed traitors Of our country
And that proposition .comes-God forgive
and pity my beloved State--it comes from a
citizen Of the time-honored and loyal Com
monwealth of Ohio. Iimplore you, brethren
In this House, to believe that not many
births ever gave pangs to my mother State
such as she suffered when that traitor was
born. beg you not to believe that on the
soil Of that State another such growth has
ever deformed the face of Nature and dark
ened the light of Gods day"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

Eli Perkins has been run away with by one
horse nine times, but has not been killed or
incapacitated from lecturing. We don't
think much Of that horse.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

Real and false diamonds have the same
facets, the same transparency, But in the
light of the real, there is freedom and joy
not to be found in the false. Nothing is
gloriously beautiful but the good aud the
true.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

In concluding an article on the last corn
crop an Alabama editor remarked " We
have on exhibition in our sanctum magnif-
icent pair of ears"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18
MISCELLANY.
Reform IN CHURCH MUSIC.
AN EMINENT ORGANIsT MAKES SOME SENSE
sN BILE SUGGESTIONS.

BILE SUGGESTIONS.
e ---
Mr.. Eugene Thayer, the well-known organ
list, appears in the New York Musical Reoieso
as an advocate of reform in church music
There is not room for two opinions as to the
great value and Importance of the right kind
of music in religious worship. But however
good may be the music it loses its effect un-
believe in the exclusive quartette choir,
whose snowy performances are deemed indis-
pensable in most of our fashionable churches.
These should give way to the chorus choir,
which might or might not include quartette
Properly 1t should have quartette, or, better
still, double quartette, composing four male
and four female soloists. The chorus should
number from sixteen to sixty, or even 100
voices, according to the size of the church,
Next to the choir, the hymnology of the
church most needs revision and reform. The
leading hymn books have from 0 to LOCO
hymns EACH Mr.. Tbayer declares that there
are not Il 600 geodzhsmnsI in tho world, and
doubts if there are fifty thoroughly good ones
exclusive of the chorals. The popularity of
the chorals that are familiar in our churches
such as "Old Hundred" Nuremburg, +"
and some others, shows how we'll the people
like them, and how perfectly they are adapted
to the wants of the congregation. But, I'M
fortunately, most of the chorals, being Ger
man origin and of irregular meters, cannot be
adapted to the American church service. In
the opinion of the writer cited, fifty hymns
or even half that number, are enough for any
congregation to sing, and very few congrega-
tions can sing twenty. five different tunes
well. A greater number, however, may be
used with advantage where there is choir.
The reform should also extend to the read
ing of hymns. Instead Of reading them
through, DIS is now common, the hymn should
be merely announced, and the first line or
possibly chs, fret verse read s@If is to be
read through" asks the writer, land played
through and sung through, why not have a
grammar lesson and parse it through, and
then have spelling match and spell it
through? ' In some churches in Germany
sung are posted in some conspicuous place,
where they can be seen by the congregation.
At the proper time the organist begins, and
the congregation rise and sing without further
ceremony. Again, the ordinary four-line
hymn tune should be reformed, because 1t is
incomplete, weak and meaningless. It is a
mere rhythmical play on three or four chords.
Take a hymn of four stanzas. The pastor
reads each slowly through to the end. then
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

"My lines are cast in pleasant places" as
the country editor said when he returned
home with basketful of fish.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18
PERSIAN INSECT POWDER
(1SCIHHNBACH e MILLLR.)

just the Thing Wanted in Every Household |
Reaches, ants bugs moths garden worms. etc., fall
victims 10 its deadly effects Immediately upon coming
in contact with it, 1t is truly the genuine Persian the
flowers being imported direct, then ground and pre-
pared at our laboratory under snperv's sion
that guarantee Its absolute freedom from adult
Grafton Druggists and country storekeepers sell it,.
Wholesale depot ~, w. Corner Sd and Calowhill SITS.
Phila. ~ sN@s1 tS~ June 23.1y.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

A man that keeps riches and enjoys them
not, is like an ass that carries gold and eats
thistles.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

When man is wrong and won't admit it
be always gets angry.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

Is for all ordinary diseases of Horses Cattle
Sheep and Swine. 1t cures and prevents CHICKEN
CHOLERA. Your cowis certain to- yield 20 PER CENT.
MORE AND BETTER MILK AND BUTTER. Stock Fattens
on Fourth less Feed!
Beingi in possession Of large number of excellent
testinon Alss subjoin q few: - s. x& &S1 -
Ihaye been using your Cattle Powder for horses,
cows, chickens and pigs, and find it-a FIRsT-cLAss
thing George Bond, 'Germantown, Pa.
Please send me half gross OF Cattle Powder. have
used two packs on my COW and Chickens, The COW
gave nearly twice the quantity of milk that she did be-
FORE and gave twice the amount of butter My chick
were dying but cured Immediately after had
used the powder Yours truly, Jonas Pasour, Dallas
C.. a 8
I have used and compared your Cattle Powder with
all Others and IL Is the best for horses CATTLE
sheep hogs, &C. have tried 1t on poultry for many
complaints, with success in every case-J chatham
Weaver, Berry burg, Pa. see 4a ss9S
Last summer you sent me package Of your powder
which gave TO my poultry and have not had one
droopy turkey chicken since.-Mrs VIM. Knapp,
Orange, N. Y. ~
Send me pack or two Of your Cattle Powder The
pack got from you last winter cured the chicken
cholera. gave of 1t to neighbor and 1t cured
his chickens.-John Williams, Spruce Vale, Ohio.
Address me for pamphlet full Of useful information
for the farmer. horseInan or dairyinan
r. A. MILLER,
June %, 1sso.-1y 3EF9 s.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18
MEDICAL.

MESSAGES left at Central Drug Store Lambert vile.
jNl for r. g. Foulke, NJ D. viii be promptly attended
TO. r. G.. Foulke, M. D.,
March "a, 1880, 6m. New Hope, Pa
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

AN HONEST SERVANT "A colored servant
sweeping out bachelors room, found a six
pence, which he carried to it's owner.
" You may keep it for your honesty" said
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

He that never changes, any Of his opinions
never corrected any of his mistakes and be
who was never wise enough TO find out any
mistakes in himself viii not be charitable
enough to excuse what he reckons mistakes
in others.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

Moderation is the silken string running
through the pearl-chain Of viEtaos
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1880-08-18

Shortly after, he missed bis gold pencil
case. and inquired of the servant If be hat
seen it. h
eyes, sir" was the reply.
And what did you do with it?
"Kept it for my honesty, sir"
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03
MARTINS FERRY.

Messrs. Gus. and George Floto, Of
Steubenville, o., have been spending a
few days with their brother Henry
RlotO.
The boys a, the Buckeye Glass Works
are still out on strike.
The moulders at our ioundries are
out, for some unknown reason.
One OF our most prominent citizens IL
severely threatened with blackmsil.
The culpnt who seeks 80 lily got gains,
should read well the laws OF our State
ere he branches farther. The penlten-
tiary is now yawning at him.
The many friends OF Joseph Black
ford were deeply panied To learn OF his
sudden death, which occurred on Mon
day at IL o'clock Mr.. Blackiord
Was one Of our oldest and most
respected citizens, one whom from
early manhood has had the conf
dcnce and esteem Of all who knew
him. The deceased was strict member
OF the Presbyterian church, and IN
worldly affairs always generous to u
fault lie leaves behind him a large
and honored iamily-one a missionary
in Brazil, one a missionary in New York
city, another a minister IN Colunbiana
county, and another a very prominent
physician OF our place, Dr. J. NJ Black
ford. The funeral will take place on
Wednesday. March 81, at 1880 A. n,
from his late residence, west OF Martins s
Ferry, where he has resided for iorty-
eight years past. Interment at Scotch
Ridge cemetery. The deceased was over
sS years Of age.
Society circles have got the bulge on
a large sized scandal that promises TO
make music for the boys.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03
LYNCH Law.
The Last Of "A Negro Villain.

CHARLESTON, :. C.-On Saturday last,
a one armed negro named Louis Kinder,
OutrascOusly assaulted white woman
named Byrd, residing near GeOrge :
Station. Colletin county. Kinder was
captured at about I o'clock on sunday
morning. by white and black
posse. lie was taken to
the scene Of the outrage and
idenuded by the WOMAN. The posse
decided not 70 lynch Kinder. who was
then PLACED IN the guard house AZ
Georges Station. Tn Monday morn
ing he wAs started ior WATERFORD jail
under q strong guard. On the way
the guard were oveTpoNered by an
armed iorcs, consisting langley Of the
relatives OF the outraged woman Kin
der MAS conveyed to q secluded spot in
the woods about O'Clock last
night he Was again confronted
With the woman. and again Unidentified.
Tie vas then taken 10 The woods, and
preparations sere made 10 hang hiaa.
Al the hsi moment he Acknowledged
the outrage. confessed ~ fAvlng out
rasei . eolor-d Noman in Sesbnry six
wears ago, 10 killing eolorel girl near
Kings Tree last Apul, % Hour bargiarles
and iunumerable theftS Al halt past
10 be xAs hanged, and after firing . voi-
lev OF pistol shots into the body, the
croxd quietly dispersed.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03
- -WHEEILNC w. VA WEDNESDAY MORNING, MARCH g. 1880
WHOLESALE MURDER.
Arrested for Five Murders, Al
legged 90 have been Committed
Fifteen Years Ago.

Arrested for Five Murders, Al
legged 90 have been Committed
Fifteen Years Ago.
special Dlspaleh TO the Register.
KEYsKR, w. Va, March /.
II. Metcalf, who is charged with the
murder of a man named A. Smith, on
Patterson's Greek, near Williamsport,
this State, in June, 1866, fed the coun-
try, and no trace has been heard OF him
since until last SUNDAY, when he Vas
detected at his old home, and last
night the sheriff OF this
county arrested and brought him
here and lodged him in Jail. Metcali
had hearing to-day before Squire Shay,
who committed him to jail without bail.
The Circumstances Of the Murder
were as follows, according to four wit
nesses, who were on the spot: smith
had in his possession q horse for sale
keeping, when Metcali came and de-
manded the horse, which Smith refused
to give up, when Metcalf said: "By God
he would show himl" and shot him
through the body with 4 rifle he had,
killing him instantly. There were four
other persons murdered in this county
about the same time, and it is thought
Metcali is implicated in them all. The
evidence is strong against him, and a
strong guard is being kept over him.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03
THE THIRD TERM
What Grants Candidacy Means

What Grants Candidacy Means
sPsc.Ai ~ Tia Register
WAsmSUroS. March =
There Is growing feeling here that
the managers OF the tirant movement
are bent on a desperate game TO secure
the Presidency. and that more hagrant
usurpation is to be attempted in the
event that hc Is beaten than MAS sue
crss.u IN the case oi Mr. Hayes. Hence
there are Democrats Who say nominate
HaacOcA. for II he SIns 10 power on
earth can rob him OF the Presidency.
Mr.. Scymour's admirers, on the other
hand, declare that he can 50 completely
bra, General Grant that no one, not
even William t. Chandler, will be Ound
bold enough to su, gest the slightest oP-
position 10 his Inauguration, Judge
Field's friends assert that he has the
courage and the viii OF General Jackson.
Blaine aud sherman.
While senator's Conkling aud Gamer
on are hObnObbiug over their Joint vic.
tOries. senator Blaine wears subdued
and lAmb.l.ke appearance. In iact As
look az him can hardly resliEe be Is
the same man Whl, on the iiOor OF the
House, was the hero Of one OF The most
exciting scenes ever witnessed IN either
branch OF Congress IN the history Of the
Government He seems 10 be unCer-
tain and Il may De that be IS bringing
himself 20 the point Of agreeing 10 play
second fiddle % Grant. When You 20
10 the Treasury Department, however,
and look upon ii- head, whose face j. As
icy As that 0i veteran gambler, you
find a candidate Who means to light
Grant. II necessary, ln q hand-tO-hAud
encounter or the nomination. The fact
thai be has not eOrpOrals guard OF i0l-
lowers in CAlherun's OF Conkiing's do
miniOns does not in the least discourage
him OE make him relax his Efforts 10 Sc
cure a s0lid S1uth at Chicago. Ii he
had the personal magnetism OF Blaine
he would be irresistible. but there is a
Law OF compensation which allows no
one nan 20 possess all Of the desiraole
qualities.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03
A w leo Reform

Jhs habit II administering quinine Ia po-
srful dosss. a. On antidote 10 tnaiasni malsiie-.
vas once dangerously common. Hspp.lJ this
practice has undergone vide rctorm. No, only
the public, but professional rnsn have adopted
not wholly, Of oourss. but largely. Hos,oisafs .
stomach Bltlsrs - . ssie botanic obssiiuts iOf
tho psrniclOus alkaioid. Tho cDn.eaurno VI
this change are most Important. Nov lever and
axus ssnefeu are cured ipunefiy their com
plAinn were only isf the ums relieved, Ot hall
eurvd-,hs remedy eventually iaiiins ~ pfo
duee any Ipprcciable eG~rt sIocpi the doses s"fs
increased A oou,c. of the BiIlep psrlstsnlJ
followed. brs.ts up the worst sitAeks aud W,
vents their fvtnrn. The evidence ib fayof u tbis
sterling spvcihc and hOussh1h medicine 10 - no
amblguou, chAractst but p,siiiv. and stisiss
tory. and The sources whence u ptO.sesis ere
sery numerous
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03
NEGRO JURORS
Different Views Of Judge Fields Opinion
syrC,a, D. The Register
WASHINGruS, March :.

Different Views Of Judge Fields Opinion
spcc.a. - ghc Register
WAsHINGToS, March :.
There is still great deal OF tails at the
capitol among congressman about the
decisions ui the supreme Court yester-
nay IN the West Virginia and Virginia
cases, involving the question Of negro
Jurors, AMI the friends OF judge Field
say that his dissenting opinion will 10
ior his platform when tho Cincinnatl
Convention shall nominate him tnr the
Presidency. Those Who prefer Hancock
Bayard, Thurman, anu Others are Iorcei
to acknowledge that the sentiments he
expressed hay, an uid-i4shioned ring
about them, and that they are not
those ", man who. IL elected prrsl-
dent. would allow Geaeral Grant to
take the ulhre irOm him. The effect Of
the publication uf Ih.s opinion viii be,
il i- generally admitted, 90 attract atten-
ton everywhere tu judge Field As a
Presidential candidate. Now, while l
have known iOr some time that the most
distinguished II his supporters IN Con,
gress I'LL not Wish % bnug him iJrward
c0nspicuously just now ~ a Prcsiien-
tial candidate. they viii be uuIulc 10
keep the Field sentiment from com
mencius a boom IL - rarely the case
that a Presidential aSPiraut Eas such an
opportunity aud makes s. much II Il as
Judsr Field did ycster iay, Tor Mr.
Tucker could not repress his admiration
ui what he said, and Mr. Springer, Ot
Illinois, who was also present, could not
help saying that tue opinion would DO
fora platform in the next Presidential
canvass
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03
THE RAID On INDIAN TER
RITORI.
Intense Excitement I'm Kansas
City.

KANSAS CnY, March 2-InIense ex-
element prevailed here to-nigh, from
the statement that the L. 5 Attorney Is
directed to read the Presidents procla-
nation at the OkAlahama meeting in
the Merchants' Exchange to-mor-
row night, Great preparations are
being made for the meeting. Speeches
will be made by Col Beddinot, Exon
gressman Frank 7. Blair and Hon. Sid
ney Clark. Other companies are organ-
lied here. and there are concerted meas
ures for successful raid. The people
are unanimously in favor OF senator
Vests bill, but are bound 10 70 into the
territory at all hazards. Troops are
scattered all along the irontier, but the
leaders who came to Kansas City to-
day, say they can put tvo thousand
men on the march at three DAYS notice.
There is fear OF bloodshed unless the
Presidents order is modified, 20 a. 10
allow settlers to 80 upon the ceded
lands
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-03-03

In the advance. Coal properties we're
up, on . further rise In the price of coal
By some compsnies, while Pacific Nail
and the Pacific railroad shares advanced
because 0f the new contract. To-mor.
row the regular weekly purchase oi
bonds By the Treasury will be made.
Il Is generally believed the Secretary
will purchase more than ,0W,OO
worth, u the bonds are offered on ad.
yantageous terms, and In consequences
Of thiS belief. the market closed up with
great buoyancy, stocks being In active
demand Tor both long aud short account.
The President of the Pacific Msil Steam.
ship Company says quarterly dividends
Of Il per cent win be- paid by the com.
pany hereafter, commencing on the lst
OF June or July next Iron Mountain
earnings tor the third week OF February
increased $42,4lS. Lake shore earning
for February increased about 1926 100,
and Union Pacific gained SOS. 900 for
the same period.
The Transactions on the Stock EX.
chsngs aggregated $4,000 shares, OF
which 1000 were A. 4 +. telegraph,
l,6O0 g., G. I'll. g., 1000 Central An.
sona. S.BOO DeIawarr, Lackswanna and
Western, 1900 Delaware and Hudson.
$1,000 Erie, 700 Hannibal and 81.
Joseph. $500 Houston and Texas, H..
0O0 Iron Mountain, 10000 Kansas and
Texas, 1000 Lake Shore, 5000 Little
Pittsburgh, LOO Michigan Central, L..
900 North western, 5,O00 Nashville and
Chattanooga, iclosing NJ ll6l, 1900 New
Jersey Central, 5000 New York Cen.
tral, 1000 Northern Pacific. 1900
Ohio and Mississippi, $4,000 Ontario
and Western. 3, ,000 Pacific Mail, 1900
Reading, 5000 81. Paul, 100 ~. Louis
and San Francisco preferred, 1000 81.
Paul and and sioux City, 700 Union
Pacific, 1900 Wabash aud Pacific. ~.
000 Western Union. $500 Central Pa
cifc, and ]. 100 Chesapeake and Ohio.