The Somerset press. [volume] (Somerset, Ohio) 1873-1977, 1880-04-22
r WAITS AND EHIMS.

A dOUsEHOLD Will q UdUy is IouAucu
on q. rock.
fiff i echeasfpaAuriess lawyer does
the tafffng. --s-==----===-
..MADAM. never bang a doos,sifyon do
adore bang.
saouth is like O. free show,
Do not BE- astonished at :anything.
This is asfEeak country.sra,aioqqa a'1ai
4, THE order of the garter TT'dfbuckle me
tight and above the .knee."
~ WHEN the sffafimer puts aporcelain egg
rundsr the hens he settingsaigood egg
The mathematician 1F7 who 10 wished to
Borrow sofie cash, wrote :iFaI will
sask for sasasR di:w ataIa a,ed bsa
ait ,phqnegEaRh is almost . CT 6 forgotten
invention. 1t TALKED back, and SOON De-
Vameiunpopuiari aidi 'pa .noiioalsisss
bexaseoof the mar, with a
Glove in breath !; be nnsy show the cloven
foot one Of these days. N'i" *''sm
sisaHonestyi fs'the best ipolicy;H bnt too
many pepple. claim that they cannot at
ford the best Of anything.
IF looks BAD to see d scissofs-grinder
rbhsil ysengaged in front of a. newspaper
Office two. days in q week: u.a
The blackberry is SO named, because
It Is biue,9 III ofdefse distinguish it from
ths hluebeHy, which is blackrE.sK VI
>. TAKEcare of the pennies, and your
wife wifi take care Of the dollars every
aime she nt'sanewr bonnet. ,bGuo7g
al AaRECENE. poet says.. CAS- she sighed,
he sighed" # they were sitting side
I fby SIDE, 4? mi ght have been a great
sighed aKDrse. 10 ssso eds sdst ltiw
ulMR. bSMALIIA+I.KlE-7-s1. e IIsythat Vir,
ginia creeper behind you, Miss violet?"
Miss Violet fwildly)) A"Oh, wheres Oh,
Edestake itoff 'snoi,nlii.rI ,ns!oveass
|; SAID the Arkansas mani 81 respect
religion, but can You fairly expect me to
faassead church when theresisia circussin
| town demanding support.:ud xniatTaE
IF you ever noticed it, the man with
cold loves to talk just a little shoarser
than necessary, e 1t tisise pleasant to be
taken. notice of, you know. ,a.s.,-;..-
THE Doctor-"Mr. p, give an exam
ple Of ofgoodhessss, Mr.9P .Ga'God is IAN
example. of. goodness" The Doctor-
sass give ra more e fam familiar I4f exam M
4 ii IrpMasI O. little fsllowiwho had to live
| and learn, who, asked his mother if bees
| had splinters in their tails when his
bare feet came down upon al yellow
hornet. ---zs-s
h bIT comes kind o., sudden like, Just as
the congregation have finished singing
Salvation's free" to have the preacher
announce that the collection will now
1 be sstaFen up. bis FsShSSd sTi q sd7
.WHESa aaonans wife comes in and sees
him razor in hand and with his face all
1athersand asks him, ttAreyOu shavingT
itiH alpnoHoking thing in him TO answer,
sssNo, I'm hlaeking the stoye-,Dd I'D, ri
TEA-TAsrERs, in New York get as high
as $1O0 per month, but milk:tasters get
f1lobi 1nlootbing but tncshta ncshtaK and water. Detroit
spFresf ssssa YOU should see the free
lunch tasters.-DMo " Commercial, Id.
vertiser.
: b AsBRfeHf little girls vino had Success
4 lfuil1 sspel3eds rther cwordsrss that was
asked ,hy e,hers teacher what would
remain after.the a t" had been taken
syay,,s l. ! s:Ihs sG dirty cups and 1 saucer''
B6s vi Use mai many lafi flowers a.saon on your
table ?"3SsFsa MS. Murray Hin'of
southern -.sWeH, yes" was the
] reply; lSiMe have wheat and Tye, bread s,
ssicF to corn bbrff6f dod deeNrrs. asisS sfs s1ssA
'sdWhaat 4 wRoSuld you do If mamma should
dep she pathetically asked her little
three -year-old daughter. don't
II know, w,preplied the infant, with d0wncast
eyes and melancholy yoice;;ss q thpose l
should haye to thpank myself; III .
s,sIopRYIAlItIsgMsl, AZ M. is 70 be branch OF
study at Cornell University. "A broken
down editor is wanted for the chair of
3 finofniAg papers.as First class in mental
scissors and practical paste will please
step .forward.[New Orleans Picayune.
IL IA yERMoSE,weman hides her six-foot
son in; the wood box and then says the
men folks are all gone out, and she
= wishes The they y Mad hidden that $500 before
y they 1eft, and Of course the tramp gets
{ lhis back brpked when thenson gets out
{of the boxass al asaS .lsgd~ -sdi a
A CHICAGO man has mad q lost tooth
replaced by one transplanted from the
mouth. of ayeung girl, and now, at 3
fp5aarftty, When tie rest Of his mouth is
'fwatefins forsalmon, salad, and quail on
pb yoast, that tooth just aches for ice cream
Il and. frozen pudding. al sliAw .efyzr.o
.IE,aA 1dTPEEl girl went ,timidly into
4 store at Bellaire, O.. the other morning,
land asked the clerk how msny shoe
4 | Strings She could get for five cents.
CHOW long doay you 'wantbthem? he
aske i..sI went them to keep" was
q tthe answer,, in . tone of slight surprise.
s stosfsXRE hanimals scoler blind, asks a
4. writer, in the, Scientific Magazine. Now
II there is a man who has never wan 1ered
,, through a COW pasture with a red flannel
shift On. Come to think of it, we have
fnever wandered through that kind OF a
y cow pasture, either Burlington Ha'cE-
% eyesslisw siidgq edi saaisv cas sruL
sbol is coming New
u YorkWard at a frightful gait, and
mothers may begin, to stuff cotton in
their chifdfe mouths h@ Ii it doesn't t
stop the cough from wheoping, it will
smother their cries, and that II be re-
lliefsto, the people next door Ne,o fors
Il WHEN you see. the mother of a ten
wear old boy making rapid progress in
Il ii the direction Of the river with good
Is tst6tit bean pole sin her hand, You will
Il not be far out of the way should you
,obconclude she. is going fishing. She Is
I. going on whaling" voyage-provioeo
, she can find the boy. y..J-.s.
II ordered d dozen e oysters,,'' said the
blonde young man with the helmet
81 hat, "and here are. only eleven. Will
= YOU please elucidateT' ~ will" re-
! plied the obliging restauranteur.
2 afhere is certain superstition preva-
u lent III good society against thirteen at
J tables spdgsoyou-see 5eh r asas
b EvaA 1arTsE girl was drawing from a
ssl card aupattens toos di ifsicult, for her, con-
$ aaauently was making sad work OF it,
D t.rS oeff;ng verv tired. Her mother