Litchfield enquirer., 1880-09-02
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CLIPPINGS.

w iulpiosC HIS ooSAi'o'
Leonidas was one of the original dead -heads.
He held The pass at Thermopyla.
| Tie druggist who advertised Eau de
Cologne water prided himself on his French.
| AT seaside hotel Guest to waiter: DO
youeaif that d clean platter" ''Yes, sir; that
is only bit of soap"
When man and a woman are made one
the question (Which one ?" is a bn,hersome
one until it is settled, as it soon is.
i = Our friend sJones frequently steils ef ideas
i fitting through his mind. ideas End nothing
j in Joness mind 10 obstr,ict their fits. b III
L The fewer feathers d. .wosnana has III, @her
bonnet in this world the more she will have
on her wings in the world to come.
Party (who had been to lecture on as
tronomy and li'tle supper afterwards):
''Galiles'shl perfH frgEt-th' earsh doesh
| novel,
An exchange says: "Pennsylvania Dutch
girls make good preserves, hut it doesn't say
how much sugar Ynu take to pound Of Dutch
girl, nor how long you let 'em boil.
: Boston girls batile with, perfect security
from sharks. They merely put on pair of
1 blue spectacles and hook intellectual, and the
sharks light out for deep, water, r
| 1t always sounds pretty to, say: ''The sun
had sunk beneath the western horizon, 2" but
i moments reflection shows that that is about
the only horizon he could siak heneath.
| General FL ancock is the author of Rock
I me to sleep mother" (Well. never mind
if they do deny it. tho mischief s dane nnw,
i and ALPS fair 10 var. Put il in, Mr.. For
ney. ~ - LID
1 A Western lecturer spoke in praise of
i gamblers, and an editor dcclared that the lee
turer did h.iself honor M r. BY 90 doing And
the lecturer doesn't know jsist how to take the
editors notice.
AT New England summer resort, wait
er," called snobhisl guest, in his most i'm
periOus tone. 1.-THE gentleman will be here
in moment" replied the head man, who
wore eyeglasses and had the air q aprofessor.
The new costume worn in a London ball.
room is thus described by the London World:
"Lost, at the Bachelors Ball, boquet two
feet in diameter. When last, seen it formed
the chief article of costume worn by pretty
blonde"
A gentleman, as the story goes went to a
certain house the other day, and meeting a
German friend at the gate inquired, us Mr..
- in:" EYES," was the reply. When
|
back ard said, "He is in, but he is det,'''
Young Mother: No; II your children have
been eating green fruit it will not hurt them
TO drink milk. The fruit will hurt them SO
they'll howl and keep the neighbors awake all
night, anyway, and the milk can't make it
any worse.
When man wants to make his enemy un-
happy he peisons his enemy's dog, but wo-
her enemy unhappy. She buys some new
clothes that her enemy can't afford, and sits in
front of her enemy at church.
When DR.. H. and Lawyer A. were walk.
ing arm. n-arm a wag said to a friend
'These two are just equal to one highway.
man" 'Why ?" asked Shis friend. BE.
cause. rejoined the -wag, it is a-lawyer and
doctor-your money or your life !"
Some one asked the French poet, Theodore
De Bauville, if be knew a good way in which
to conceal an important paper FOh, yes,
replied De Bauville with twinkle in his eye
write tragedy in five acts. tie the manu-
script carefully with tape and deposit it at the
Theatre Francois. The package will never be
discovered"
Tom Ochiltree was years ago partner with
his father in the law business at Galveston
Texas, The old gentleman went away for 9
few days, and on returning found stretched
across theS Office am lnlmlense signboard OF
which was painted in huge letters: ''T. P.
Ochiltree and Father, Counselors and Attor-
neys a. Afasv"' (.(TkIq IVhNll
Last Sunday two boys out on South Hill
? ran away from home and went a-fshing
caught six catfish, killed snake, trapped q
brown thrush, and then on their way home
found circus ticket and 10 cents. And al
that Robert Ingersoll has said and written
hasn't done one half as much to injure the
Sunday schools of South Hill and disturb the
settled faith of the younger boy.
An amusing instance of the ingenuousness
of childhood is related by a lady residing in
New Britain, whose locks have become ting
ed slightly with gray. A little daughter about
four years old, the other day, while sitting in
her lap, ran her fingers through her mother,
hair and suddenly exclaimed, "Oh, mamma,
you've got lot of bastin' threads in your
hair !" vi 81 CT e. - a$sss &b
Foote was talking away one evening at q
dinner-table of man of rank, when, at the
point of one Of his best stories. one of the par.
ty interrupted him suddenly, with an ar Of
the most considerate apology, II beg your
pardon, Mr.. Foote, but your handkerchief is
half out of your pocket" "Thank you sir, -
said Foote, replacing it, ''you know the COM
pany better than l do, and finished his joke.
One day our dog Towser was lynn in the
sun trine to sleep, but the flies was that bad
he couldn't cos he had to catch EN- and biine-
by bee lit on his head and was working
about like the dog was his'n. Towser he held
his head still, and when the bee was close to
his nose, Towser winked at me like he sell,
you see what this buffer is doin' he thinks /
am lily Of the valley which isn't opened vet,
but you just wait till blossom, and opened
his mouth very slow SO Us not to friten the
bee and the bee went into Towser's mouth.
Then Towser shet his eyes and his mouth too,
and had begun to make peaceful smile wen
the bee stung him, and you never see q lily Of
the valley act so in your life.
| u FROM THE DANBURY News:
Beans grow so large in Worthwhile that sue.
cotash has to be made out doors.
The county commissioners of the State met
in Bridgeport, Wednesday, and teok ride
about the city. q ,li..@
There were an unusual large number of
private clam bakes in this town, Sunday. This
shows csEclusively that the clam is not re-
ligious animal. c...fsy
The Consolidated road 10 very choice Of its
own stock and very careless with George
Warehouses;, Fairfield, having killed three
COWS and horse Of his in the past month
The postmaster in Marketable, was some
what astonished on opening package address
sed to himself to behold four, large bull-fregs
leap forth. He was an hour sweeping them
out of the office, although the broom was COM
paratively new. ,~....f ,,-tF 49,
He had been pretty wild, but was recently
converted. Going through White street, Mon
4 day, he saw two dogs threatening each other
The old nature triumphed and he slapped his
hands and encouragingly shouted
| GsSic ,om hovetT