The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-12-17
He Couldn't Help IL.

IhC SVuhom nOAP As
Here is another case of boy who
couldn't help it. A prominent and dig
nified citizen was looking through the
third-story window of block on Jeffer-
son avenue, which he had thoughts of
renting, when the idea suddenly struck
him to look into the alley in the rear.
He raised the sash of q window and
peered out upon ash boxes, coal scuttles
and barrels of straw without number, and
was about to close his observations when
the sash came down with thud and
struck him behind the shoulders. In his
fright he fell to his knees, ana while the
solid half of his body was all right the
lighter was over the window sill. In adj
dition to the weight of the sash any
movement of the body was accompanied
by pain. The sash could not be reached
with his hands freely enough to lift it,
and it soon occurred to the prominent
citizen that he ought to have help. He
could not expect it from behind, for he
was alone in the store, but az he looked
down into the alley boy came stamping
along to find something worth Juggling
away.
"Hello. boyl hello!" called the citi-
zen.
Hello yourself !" cried the boy as he
looked up.
"Say, boy, come under the window
here; i want to speak to YOU"
mot much, yer DON'T" chuckled the
gamin. "You can't drop no coal scuttles
on my. head"
"But l don't mean to-"
"Mebbe not, but you've got bad face
on you for all that. When did you get
out of the jug?"
"Boy, want your help"
$50 does your aunt Don't get me
to stand in with no such duffer as you
are -
Il am caught in this window and want
to get out"
so would I Been prospecting for
old junk, eh? You'll get six months for
that p
If you'll come up stairs and help me
out I'll give you dollar -
"a dollar You can't play no dollar
store on me, old man If you make up
another face like that at me I'll hit you
in the eye with this old lemon. l don't
look starched up, but don't let any man
insult me all the same"
"Don't you know who I amp" softly
asked the citizen.
"Naw, don't; but I'll bet the perlece
do! You've got one Of the hardest mugs
on you L ever saw, and I've good mind
to give you one just for luck Look out
now"
He made as if he would throw, and
the citizen lodged. This was such fun
for the boy that he kept it up for three
or four minutes, and the offer of 50 had
no effect on him. Then he gathered six
or eight old lemons and oranges together
and said:
II believe you are the boss hyena who
knocked dad down at the caucus, and
I'm going to drive your nose back ex-
actly an inch !"
If you throw at me I'll call the po-
lice - exclaimed the citizen.
"The sooner We cali the sooner yell
be jagged Here's to hit you square on
the nose ~
The opening of the back door of
store and the appearance of man dis
concerted the lads aim, and the lemon
struck the citizens hat instead of his
nose. His yells brought climax, but
the air was full of tropical fruit even as
the boy busted down the alley and turned
a corner.
The boy couldn't help acting that way
He was born so. He wouldn't have been
a bit like boy to run up stairs and re-
leased the man. He didn't have fair
chance with his spoiled lemons, but boys
soon get over disappointments.- Detroit
Free Press.