The Sedalia weekly bazoo. [volume] (Sedalia, Mo.) 187?-1904, 1880-08-03
How an Ing ssious Minister Got
II mself Into Trouble.


The need Of some means oi promP,
communication between the clergyman
in the pulpit and the sexton at the
other end oi the church has long beeI,
apparent. There are constantly arts
Ing contingencies in which il is abso-
lutely necessary that the minister
should communicate with the sexton
For example. the minister needs a
glass of water. or in the case of Mr.
Tsimahge. lotion for sprained Les.
He needs Ia ask question at a vestrv-
man. or he wants to nave q warder,
walked up or crying baby removed
In these circumstances the aid of the
sexton is indispensable /; but n tina,
fupciionary is in the extreme end ii
the church. and is, perhaps. absorbed
in watching pew full Of boys VIA"
are on the point OF breaking into open
disorder, his attention can not he al
tracted. Many plans have been de-
vised ny ingenious ministers To estab-
lish communication with the sexton.
The Rev Mr.. earn. a popular Pres
byterian minister in the interior If the
slate, invented a system Of signaling
his sexton which had very marked
merits. lie caused Il wire to ie run
from the pulpit To the sections pew,
where it connected with pair Of leat!,-
err coated iron clamps, ~ constructed
that when the wire was pulled the
clamps w"uld gently pinch the sen
tons lee, The wire ran underneath
the flooring If the meeting house. and
the clamps were concealed under the
sections seat SD that Do one except the
minister and the sexton was aware of
the existence Of the sacred telegraph.
Ii WAS found 10 work beautifully.
When the minister wanted water be
pulled the wire once. Two pulls
mean; that he wanted TO speak to the
sexton, and three pulls meant ':nrn
up the gas. The congregation VOL
,iered how it happened that the serv-
ice went SO smoothly and that the sex
ton always did the right thing Mt the
right time, but they were destined 10
make painful discovery of the true
state If affairs.
On the last Sunday in June Of this
year the sexton brought with him To
the morning service his middle-aged
maiden aunt. who was paving him 4
brief visit, and whose heir he hoped to
be. BY s,me unexplained accident
ne forgot all about the signal wire,
md showed the aunt into the seat
shich he ordinarily occupied, and was
obliged to take another seat on the OPP
,osile side OF the aisle. Directly be-
lind the aunt sat Deacon Brown, one
II the pillars Of the coDgregation-an
.ged man of the most uublemisned
character.
The minister had begun his sermon,
md had just finished the exordium,
when he felt thirsty and signaled for a
lass of water. To his surprise there
vas no answer made to his signal.
fOudUtS tuC udPstu duut was more
urDrised than was the minister. for as
,on as she ieii the sol. pre->use of the
lamps she started in alarm. and turn.
ng her head, gave the innocent dea.
on a look of indignant virtue. The
after betrayed no sign of guilt. but
on,inued TO gaze steadily at the pull.
it with peaceful and happy express
Jon Of face. Presently the minister
that the sexton must have
,iled to understand the signal. pulled
he wire again. The maiden aunt,
18th her cheeks glowing with rage,
lrued once more 10 the placid and un-
deacon and whispered
ercely 10 him that ''he had better ,
ehave himself Or she'd let him know"
he good man thinking that poor ]
matte was in front Of him, paid no !