Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-05-21
THE DOCTORS PURSE.

1t any one has desire to make DIR. Light
mad he can accomplish it by saying ''rat" to
that worthy citizen The Doctor yesterday
struck bonanza of rats in his yard-a nest
of youthful rodents-and he stamped them
into kid-glove material instanter. A half
hour later he drove down town, and alighting
on street, between Fifth and Sixth, he felt
purse that he carries his fortune in, in his
hip pocket, drop down the leg of his panta-
looms. He grasped the leg of the neither
clothing to stop the descent of that purse,
when 10 the money-bag ran up the mex
pressibles again. The Doctor then for the
first time dreamed about the rats he had
killed. He grasped his garments tightly and
girt up his loins as, with grand effort,
he shot upstairs into the Photographic
gallery of friend, and gasping for breath,
begged the seclusion that chamber grants,
where he might unreservedly remove his
pants. His friend desired to know the cause
of his dire distress, and was told that he
had an anaconda, boa constructor or some such
varmint roaming around in his hannels, and
going, the Doctor knew not where, or If he
did he failed to express it. The photographer
had the Doctor in corner, and did not spare
him. He made all sorts of fun of him.
" Had he got 'em thus early ?" "Were they
snakes or rats ?" How did the symptoms
of mania. a-potu seem any how" "Were the
things in his boots now?" "How many
were they?" Shouldn't he catch EN- and
tie blue ribbons around their necks I"
and SO on to the end of the chapter.
The Doctor knows how to take joke, but
with his pronounced teetotal habits, this was
too much, and with few biblical expressions
IL Il 6
with the evidences of earnest meaning, he
began to disrobe, and at length one Of the
rats came forth, springing from the Doctors
waistband as if there were more coming.
Then there was chase for the little Joker,
which, in about two seconds and a half disap-
peared, and in less time the photographer
clapped both hands on his modern smalls and
yelled bloody murder. The rat had taken
refuge in his pantaloons. Itwasthe Doctors
turn now: "Ah, how do they seem ?" he
cried Z" Got 'em yerself, eh?' What are
they, snakes ?" 'Were they in his boots
now 2 "Should he tie blue ribbon on ?"
until the man of sun-prints begged for
mercy, and began to peel off his outer raiment
also. Just then the Doctor espied a stout
stick conveniently at hand He would be
ready for Mr.. Rat when he came forth. He
saw him swelling out near the hip of the pho
tographer; that would be good time to kill
him, and he blazed away just as his friend
was STOPPING in an effort to free himself of
part of his clothing He hit the protuberance
a rousing rap and sent the sufferer across the
room like rocket, as he roared with pain
and rage. Alas the blow had shattered
bottle of chemical preparation in the hip
pocket, and it went to the skin like fire. The
wife of the artist rushed in as the rat rushed
out of his hiding-place, and then as she had
lost no rat. she left that part of the premises
as only woman can flee from the presence
of mouse, while the two victims lay back
painting from their exertions, and betting a
million each that the reporters should not get
hold Of the story