davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

YANKEE CUTESEss. Sitting on piazza
overlooking Buzzard's Bay the other alter
noon, the landlord told us the following
story of Yankee cuteness when | kept
country store, )" said mine host, AN old
farmer came in one day to make butter
trade. He had lot of fresh butter and !
asked how much he wanted for it. Four
teen cents, he answered. Well, I'll take
it Just as it stands, was my reply, and he
put it down cellar without further COM
ment. He then ordered a lot of goods
flour, sugar, and SO forth, that he wanted
to take home with him, and asked me how
much they would come to. ] figured ny
and found that they amounted to about two
dollars more than the price of the butter.
This seemed to annoy him, and after hem
ing and having good deal, he said
Well, now, Cap'en, supposin' that butter
was sixteen cents peound, what would il
foot ups' | told him a trife over what hi
owed me. We'll, then, he answered, as he
put the groceries into his wagon, reck'r
we'll hey to call it a square trade. !"
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17
HOW ENGLISH LAWYERS GROW RICH.

1t is seldom that an English Judge,
upon the bench, condemns the excessive
costs of litigation, and of legal proceed
ings generally, in this country. We
would that it were done more often, hardly
less in the interest of the profession than
on public grounds. We hope that the
strong but becoming language in which
Lord Justice James recently condemned
the enormous cost of litigation will not be
lost upon our profession, and especially
upon those members of it upon whom the
responsibilities of seat in Parliament are
now resting. Is it wise, we ask, for law
yers to try the experiment Of leaving lay
men, both in and out of Parliament, to cot
down the cost of legal proceedings? Is it
not the duty of the legal profession itself
to take up this question and apply the
necessary remedies, some of which are al
ready at hand? ANY sufficient and therefore
substantial alterations in legal procedure
must necessarily affect large numbers of
members of the profession in some cases
adversely, and in others to their advan-
tage. Among the sources which give rise
to costs, the mourning 81 which might
often be avoided, the following may be
mentioned Pleadings, which practice the
Judicature acts have to all intents and
purposes preserved the central instead of
the local administration of Justice; the in
terests and privileges of the bar; the sys-
tenn by which solicitors are remunerated !;
the practice of the Judges in granting new
trials; the unnecessarily large fees often re-
ceived by counsel, and allowed on taxa
ton; the scale of costs drawn with dis
tinct view of encouraging solicitors to en-
ploy counsel, instead of vice versa the
delay in dealing with the High Court of
Justice; the uncertainty of tile law as at
present administered, in the absence of a
code, and In view of the enormous accum-
uIation OF case law, and by which litiga-
ton sometimes becomes little better than
a gambling speculation and finally, both
branches of the profession are filed to
overcrowding, and the result is a residuum
in both branches of speculative lawyers,
who are danger to society, and who in
clude the black sheep of the profession.
TLondon Law Times.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

THE BEAUTIES OF ENGLISH Hugh
Cough of Bouroughbridge was rough sol
der on furlough, but a man of doughty
deeds in war; though he fought for his
country he was thorough dough. faced
ploughman. His horse having been
houghed in an engagement with the enemy,
Hugh was taken prisoner, and ought to
add was kept on short enough clough of
food, and suffered from drought as well as
from hunger Having on his return home
drank too large draught of usquebaugh,
he became intoxicated, and was laughing,
coughing and hiccoughing by trough,
against which he sought to steady himself.
There he was accosted by another rough,
who showed him a cough which he had
caught on a clough near, also the slough of
snake which he held at the end of a tough
bough OF eugh tree, and which his shaggy
slough had found and brought to him from
the entrance to a slough which ran through
and drained slough that was close to a
slough in the neighhorhood.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

Little four year-old Ned discovered why
mice are created with tails. He was per-
mitted to bury one that had been killed in
the house. He returned in a few minutes
with "Well, papa, buried mousie, and
| left his tail stuck out so you can tell
where his grave is.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

At a social reunion few evenings ago
the question was asked, 's0f what sort Of
fruit do quarrelsome man and wife re-
mind you y The young lady who promptly
answered "a prickly pear" got the medal.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

Cupid knows every age, as will be per-
ceived by the following hymenial notice,
cut from an exchange :" Married, in Lewis
county, KY. ON the 3lst ult., Joseph
Moore, aged rs, to Mrs. Mary Tolen, aged
S4-the third wife to the groom, and the
fifth husband to the bride.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

"Shon,r said Dutchman, "you may
say what you.please 'pout bad neighbors !;
l have had te worst neighbor as never vas.
Mine pigs and mine hens come home init
der ears split, and fodder day two Of them
came home missing. !"
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

See here, George, said a fond mamma
to her little son, as they walked on the
beach, see here, what lot of nice little
round stones" Grumbled George, as he
cast searching glance around, And not
living thing to throw 'em at
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

A Celt who was induced, after much
persuasion to try some canned meat,
brought it back, showing the marks of his
teeth on the tin, and Indignantly denying
that it was good to eat.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

Two sisters of Glasgow got mad at a
plumber, and threw HIM out of a fifth
story window. But he got even with the
sisters. He charged them double time
from the minute he left the window until
he struck the sidewalk.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

Gentlemen, said an amateur farmer
Just from the city, writing to the Chairman
of an Agricultural Society, "put me down
on your list of cattle for calf !"
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

The great English heiress Of 1880 has
been carried eff. Miss Maynard of Essex,
step-daughter of Lord Rosslyn. is to marry
Lord Brooke, the son and heir of the Earl
OF Warwick,
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

Worth is making polonaises of dead silk,
in heliotrope or Persian lilac, trimmed with
Venetian point, and worn over tafetas
skirts, edged with deep gathered fiounce
of the saIne color.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

II the President of the United States
felt in proportion to his place as big as a
policeman in his new uniform, he'd grow
round shouldered trying to dodge the
clouds.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17
GENERAL NOTICES,


Bristoi's Sarsaparilla and Piiis.-Ihc
most powerful yet the safest OF all remedies
Under their penetrating, detergent influences IN.
fouest ulcer and the deepest gangrene are speedily
changed in their character, and the most loathsom.
sores and eruptons are soothe and healed iyl7 II
Love rules the court. the camp. the grove,
But this we find where'er we rove
That SoZ0DoNr alone supplies
The dazzling teeth and ruby dyes,
That lend maiden bali the charms
Thst win her To her lovers arms
jyl5 3tThSTu
DR.. In Mars seminal Pills cure all
cases of Seminal Weakness, Less OF Yigor, Noe
surnsl Emissions, Impoteney, Nervous and physi
cal Debility, and all that class of complaints arising
from Excess, indiscretion or Abuse The old end IN
this remedy A FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH, and the
young safeguard ard protection DE-. La Mars
SssnsAL Pills restore the Sexual Organs dehiltated
from whatever cause, to their pristine ySor Price,
= so per bottle Sent c. o. D. BY express to any
address, secure from observation. Address oil orders
TO A. MoBoYLE s. CO.. Druggists, P. o. Box I,sss,
San Francisco. ul4.3m
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17
--1-71' -
AUCTIONS.
Az G. TITO N Gl
VALUABLE PIECE OF PROPERTY,

D. j. SIMMONS Il cO........... Auctioneers
WILL SELL or
THURSDAY, JULY 26rH, AT IL O'CLOCK. ON
I the premises Lot 6, Nineteenth and Twentieth,
NJ and y streets, 60Xl6o, with an elegant NEW
HOUSE thereon, just finished, and built by aud for
the owner, who is compelled to take charge Of
another business. The house is elegantly and SUBJ
stantially built, and is now open for inspection.
Also, the Household Furniture OF the family,
sistng of Parlor, bedroom, Diningro and Kitchen
Furniture. The attention Of parties desiring beau
tfu home is called to this sale which will be posi-
tive. (jyl5tdl ID. J. SIMMONS, Auetioneer.
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17

OF monument surmounted by head OF
the Republique which is to be erected on
Sat place. The Place de la Republique,
tie Place de la Bastile, the Place du Trone
,...l the Boulevards Beaumarchais, des
lles-du-C alvaire, Ribhard- Lenoir and de
sepublique win be decorated with masts
ald trophies. In the evening there will
Is, illuminated with bouquets and garlands
gas, OF electric light, colored glasses,
Lanes of white glasses, luminous balloons
and flames of Bengal, the grand avenue of
zng Champs Eiysees the Place de la Com
S-orde; the garden of the Tuileries the
garden of tie Luxembourg the avenue Of
Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-07-17
ADJUSTMENTS.
METROPOLITAN lHEATER.
/ SUNNY SOUTH

Realistic Picture q southern Life, entitled
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

John 4. Allen. son of S. d. Allen. Pert
Byron, accidentally shot himself with a
revolver on Saturday afternoon and now
lies in precarious condition. 1t appears
he was cleaning the barrel of his revolver
holding the muzzle towards his body, when
charge went off and the ball lodged near
the navel and slightly on the right. The
pistol was of 80 calibre and was supposed
to be at half cock at the time. DR.. Nor
gan attended the wounded man. and
probed for the ball. but did not find it
and its location is not known, Mr.. Allen
is about SO years of age. is married and
has three children. He was q special
constable during the lste.riots at Rapids
City and was more recently working at the
Port Byron Lime Association lime kiln as
fireman He is well spoken of IS q man
of considerable courage. and it is hoped
he will pull through, but bis chances are
very slight, indeed.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

REMARKABLE. John Hunt. of Provi-
dence, r, l., found himself seized with q
generally dropsy, His body swelled to an
enormous size; be could not lie down. and
death seemed inevitable His Kidneys
were also badly affected, The services of
a renowned physician were secured, and a
prescription was made, after thorough
examination. Mr., Hunt began to i'm
prove at once. aud aftera time was restor.
ed to perfect health. The family used
the medicine in similar cases with the
same results. They named it HUNTS
REMEDY, the Great Kidney and Liver
Medicine. and it is now sold by all Drug
gists. Trial size, Is cents.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
Personal.

Signor Mora and Son are at the Harper
House.
MIR. W. r. Mckee and Miss Mary Will
son are at the Harper House.
Mr.. W. Fl. Gest. will leave by this
evenings train on an extended tour to the
w est, taking in Oregon and California and
other places The time he will be absent
will depend good deal on circumstances,
but the business of Mr.. Gest will be- at
tended to by Judge Wilkinson, who will
occupy his Office.
Mr.. Oliver Olsen, will leave for Eu-
rope tomorrow, on q few months trip.
MIR. Olsen thinks be can do Europe in
that time, and has a nice programme
sketched out, which il is to be hoped he
will enjoy. He will 60 by way of Chicago
and take in the National Convention.
Geo. Wagner. Esq.,. returned this
morning from his Colorado trip. He
found everything at his mines in LeadVille
10 good shape and running satisfactorily.
Mr.. Fries, who went out with him, has
not yet returned.
Gotleib Beck, who has been principal
book-keeper for Geo. Wagner's Atlantic
Brewery. for the past years, leaves to-
morrow morning for Germany, On q visit
TO his mother and relatives. II has been
Is years since Mr.. Beck hashad the pleas.
ure of setting foot on his native soil, and
it is hoped by many friends in this locality
that he will have good time and safe
return to this. bis adopted country. Mr.,
Beck will attend the great Turn Fest,
to be held at Frankfort, commencing on
the 25th of July. He expects to be absent
four months.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
ATTEMPTED Suioids.

Mr.. John Bulley was found In al in
sensible condition this morning by his
adopted daughter, Mrs. Thomas with
whom be resides on Fifteenth Street near
Sixth Avenue. Not appearing as usual
she went to his room aud found all efforts
were unavailing TO waken him, and her
husband 10 searching the room found q
two ounce bottle with laudanum more
than half empty. The bottle had 20 label
and it is not known where he obtained
the drug. Drs. Truesdale and French
were called in aud did all that could BE-
done. but the poison had necoms so
absorbed 10 the system that. efforts have
proved useless and the patient has re
manned in a state Of coma ever since the
time he was discovered. A hypodermic
injection was tried over the heart by DR..
Truesdale but produced no appa-
rent effect. Rubbing was recommended
and moving the body to and fro. as
in the motion of rolling, but the medical
men have given up all hope of his recov-
cry and look upon his death as inevitable.
An ARGUS reporter visited sthe residence
this afternoon late and the patient was
still alive and breathing stertorousiy, but
gave no other signs of life. Mrs. Thomas
his adopted daughter and number of
neighbors were assembled and were very
much distressed over bis condition. especi-
ally the former who has done all possible.
to care for him. bat his mind has been af-
fected for some time and within the last
week he has acted strangely when away
from home, but no idea was entertained
that anything was out of the usual course
It is supposed he took the laudanum at 8
o'clock last night when he went to bed.
It will be remembered that Mr.. Bully at
tempted suicide on Feb. Is. by opening a
vein in his left hand.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
River News.

The Clinton, arrived down yesterday
morning at $50 and left at 1880.
The Minneapolis arrived up Saturday
night at o'clock and left on Sunday NOR
ming at o'clock.
The q, s. Tender Lily, arrived down on
Saturday evening $50 o'clock. and left
down at 100 P. N. on Sunday
The Diamond 10. arrived down On Sun
day at $50 A, NJ and left at p NJ
It is reported that boy. the son of g
druggist at Lyons. was lost overheard from
the Maggie Reany, on Saturday night
near Princeton.
The Northwestern, left Keokuk at A.
NJ, this morning, will arrive here during
the night and leave for above at 6 O'Clock
to 10 orroH morning.
The Tidal Wave, and Annie. are both
due down tomorrow.
The Saltwater, with raft came down at
10 A NJ, to-day.
The Josie, is due up to morrow morn
ing.
The Libbie Cougar is due down to-mor-
row NOR ming.
The Park Painter. with raft came down
yesterday and returned up.
The Little Eagle No. 2, came down at
IL O'Clock to-dry with barges of ice.
The Cora Emily took party of excur-
siouists to OffermaD's Island, yesterday
| afternoon.
Stage of water today at 6 A. NJ. $50.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

The best Salve in the World for Cuts
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum.
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains. Corns, and all kinds of
Skin Eruptions. This Salve is guar
anteed to give perfect satisfaction in
every case or money refunded, Price
25 Cents per Box, For sale by. G,
Speidsl.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
FoR DyspEps1A ,Nnyersrron

For DYSPEPSIA, INDIGESTION, depres-
sion of spirits and general debility, in their
various forms; also as preventive against
fever and ague and other intermittent
feyers. the ''FERRo PHosPHoRATED ELK
IR OF CALIsAYA," made by Caswell, Haz-
ard Il Co., New York, and sold by all
druggists, is the best tonic; and as a tonic
for patients recovering from fever or other
sickness. it has no equal. Nj
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

For the Republican Convention to be
held at Chicago June I'd, the Chicago
Rock Island & Pacific Railroad will sell
round trip tickets May 30 81, and June l.,
good for return passage until June S,
rate for the round trip 81 "a. 26d5t.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

Illustrated Marriage Guide, 200 pages,
cloth and gilt binding. SO cents: same in
paper covers, Is cents. Manhood, 10
cents; Womanhood, 10. cents: Pamphlet, 8
oents-securely sealed, by mail, Send
money or postage stamps. Dr.. WHITTIER,
the great specialist, Git st. Charles
st. Louis, Mo.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
Troublesome Children.

That are always wetting their beds
ought not to be scolded and punished for
what they cannot help. They need a
medicine having tonic effect on the kid
neys apd urinary organs. Such medicine
is Kidney-Wor Il has specific action,
Do not fail to try it for them.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

On Saturday County Clerk Donald
son issued marriage license to Christian
Bartsch and Wilhelmina Behrendt of
HiIlsdale; and to day to August Rikaer
and Miss Mary Seastaut of Rock Island.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
a CARD.

To all who are suffering from the errors and in
discretons OF youth, nervous weakness early decay
loss OF manhood, &c, will send recipe that will
cure you, FREE OF CHARGE. This great remedy
was discovered by missionary in South America
Send self addressed envelope to the Rev. JOSIAH
T. imam, Station D, New York.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
Mental Strain Relieved.

The Washington, d. G.. Critic saws:
It is intimated to US that members of the
Senate add House are freely using
Warner sSafe Nervine for relief oil nervous
prostration incident upon the severe
strain upon their mental powers"
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

The entry book in the Recorders Office,
contains the following:
29-Msry jenkins to Wilhelm Seeger.
lot 2 and 8, block 81. Andalusia, SITS.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
Three Objections

To the finest pulmonics are got rid of In
PHILLIPS '.PALATABLE" Cop LIVER
OIL,, In com binations with PHosHHo
NUTRITTNE, 1t is neither unpleasant in
taste, nor turns. rancid, nor is unwelcome
to the stomach. All druggists; Depot, 2
Platt Street, NewYork.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
Store For Rent,

81 No. 1923, Second Avenue. opposite
Rock Island House. now occupied By M.
g. Mills as dry goods store. Is the
largest aud best located store in Rock Isl-
and. Possession given Sept. LIST. 1880.
Enquire of George 2. Frysinger. Sdlm
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

FoR THROAT DISEASES AND CoUGHs
-"Broson's Bronchial Troches." like all
other good things, are frequently initiated
and purchasers should be careful to obtain
the genuine article prepared by John i
Brown & Sons.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

OUR LADIES FRIEND is the most relia--
bic of any female preparation. and only
costs fifty centls per bottle. Sold by Q.
Speidel. Rock Island. and Richards Il
Moline.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

Prevention is better than cure. Mof1at's
Life Pills cleanse the system and prevent
disease. Moffat's PhDnix Bitters are
Iuvigerating and Strengthing FOR SAFE
by Druggists everywhere.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

There is nothing in the world more
beautiful than q fue healthy baby. You
cannot dose your baby swith opiates and
have it healthy; but you can use DR..
Bull Baby Syrup and still maintain the
Baby health. Price Is cents bottle.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
DISEASES OF THE STOMACH.

Plum River, Stockton, 10 Daviess Co., Ills.1679.
Dear Slr:-I afflicted with distress in my
Stomach-at times it was aim ost impossible for me
to endure It. tried numerous medicines, but
found no relief until my husband procured some OF
your Indian Blood Syrup, which to my great sur
prise cured me. My health was never better than
now, and think your medicine Ia the BEST remedy
ever introduced. CLARA Z. LAWRENCE.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

We do not believe in medicine for oh lid
rem, but we do believe 10 DR.. Bulls Baby
Syrup and assert that no family should be
without it.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
PEERLESS CORN STARCH.

For Ice Cream, Puddings, Blanc Mango Etc, It
count of its purity, eminent physicians consider It
preferable to Bermuda Arrow Root for children
and invalids. Sold By all grocers, Samples sent
free to all.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
Drowned.

A boy namedisFrank Mcmann. belong
ing to Lyons. Ia. and one OF the excur-
sionists who camel down on the steamer
Maggie Reaney son Saturday, fell over
board on the way home and was. drowned.
The boat was within block of Princeton
landing, about nine o'clock in the even~
ing when the deceased swho was run
ping about PLAYING with lsome others fell
between the bow curve OF the steamer and
the barge she was.towing. The mate who
was close By at the time gave sthe alarm
and the vessel was stopped aud powerful
lanters used 10 the search to find him,
which was not successful A party from
the shore went ont in skiff but inothiug
was seen of the unfortunate boy. He was
between IA and Is years of age. attending
school, and the son of widow lady in
Lyons, who keeps drug store there, and
who is frantic with grief at the loss of her
son. At latest accounts the bodyahad not
been found.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
ALL THAT n IS RECOMMENDED TO BE.

Du Pue, Bureau Co., HIS.
Dear Sir:-I have used your excellent Indian
Blood Syrup for Weak Nerves and Sick Headache
and found il to be recommended. My son used
it for Disease Of the Liver and Kidneys, with BEN
eficial results. L / WHICH.
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

ssThis paper may be found on ale ct all times at
c. r. L q p. R. Il Ticket Once, No. b6 Clsrk St.,
Chicago, where cur friends tare af liberty TO cali
and examine IT,
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

Our LADIES FRIEND for female com
plants, never known to fail Only fifty
cents bottle. Sold by g. Speidel, Rock
island and Richards & Sohrbeck, Mo-
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31
The volraic Belt Co., Marshall. Mich

Will send their celebrated Electro
Voltaic Belts to the afflicted upon 80 days
trial Speedy cures guaranteed. They
mean what they say. Write to them with
out delay
The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-05-31

For sale good building sand at south end
of 18th street at twenty-five cents pei
yard. @. SULsER,
5.3dsm Agent.