Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1880-02-03
A TERRIBLE NIGHT.

am no politician. l am provision
dealer-a wholesale provision dealer
doing business in New York city Hav~
ing commenced my verltable history
with the above assertion. 1t rs necessary
that I should inform the reader how 1t
was that I was member OF the New
York delegation to the Democratic con
yention held in Baltimore some years
ago.
One evening in the latter part of May
| was seated with my wife in our pretty
house on Eighth street, enjoying fra
grant cup of tea-for if there is one thing
that + am a good judge of it is tea. My
wife had been shopping, and while i
was slipping my Hyson favored with
Orange Pako, che was showing me her
purchases. She was expatlating on a
'slove of bonnet" when we were both
startled by violent ring at the bell, and
in a minute or two afterward a servant
entered informing me that Mr.. Law
renee Ardew wished to see me immedi-
ately. AS Ardew was a particular friend
of mine Immediately ordered him to
be admitted.
"Gunby," said Ardew, as soon as he
had paid his respects to my wife, Il
should have told you before that my
name is Jonathan Gunby.) "Gunby, l
want you to do me great favor
"What is it, my dear fellow ?' l re-
piled. I could afford to be affectionate,
for I knew that Ardew was too rich to
want money.
"You know am a politician ?" said
Ardew. -
ST know you are" I returned, land
not much good has it done you. To nv
certain knowledge you have not receiv-
ed cent benefit from it; on the other
hand, you have spent good many hun
bred dollars u
"Just wait till - is elected Presi-
dent, and then you will see; but that is
not the question. I am delegate to
the Baltimore Convention, and [ want
YOU to act as my substitute"
"What!" cried, jumping up from
my chair in excitement. II, Jonathan
Gunbv, wholesale provision merchant,
act as member of a political conven-
ton never, my dear friend, never!"
"But you must. I will pay all ex
penses, and the trip will do you good: l
have noticed that you seem to be thin
ner than you used to be; change is the
very thing for you. The fact is, have
an inl portant lawsuit going on, and it Is
utterly impossible that can leave New
York. You must do this favor for me,
my dear Gunby."
'But, Ardew, never attended poll
tical meeting in my life," | replied
somewhat softened by the fact that all
my expenses would be paid II should
make block head ofmyself, for know
nothing of the rules and regulations of
such assemblies"
"You don't want to know anything; ;
all that you have to do is to vote through
thick and thin for -"
"Rut I don't like the man."
"You have nothing to do with that
do like him and you will be voting for
me-"
"You are right forgot that"
Jonathan shall not go to that awful
rowdy city. Baltimore" said NV wife
"He will be killed by the Plug Uglies,
Blood Tubs or Black Snakes 1t Is
not safe to walk the streets there. I'll
never consent to bis going"
. "You need have no fear on that head,
madam" said Ardew. "they have got q
new police there and Baltimore is now
one of the quietest cities in the Union 1"
need not detail sny more of the con
versation suffice to say that Ardew per
suaded me to act in his place. and hint
of handsome present from the Monu
mental City 80 Modified my wife that
she gave her consent.
On the appointed day, provided with
the necessary vouchers. l started on my
journey, having first faithfully promis-
ed my wife that | would not venture in
the streets of Baltimore after dark. l
shall not detail the particulars of my
journey. Were to do so [ might de
scribe how crowded we were; how we
were annoyed by squalling infant that
it was utterly impossible to silence how
we were delayed in the crossing of the
SHsquehanna by some accident to the
ferry boat how tried to read but could
not on account of the perfect Babel
around me; how [ endeavored to make
fun of the boys who sold apples, and had
youthful vendors of that wholesome
fruit. All this, and great deal more /
might tell, but as every traveller goes
through the same experience it would
only be repeating an old story.
We reached Baltimore at last, and |
was Immediately driven to Barnum's
Hotel had some difficulty in making
my way to the clerks counter, the hall
was so crowded with people.
Gan full, sir" said the gentlemanly
clerk, as pulled the book toward me to
enter my name.
There was no help for it. [ went
round to the Gilmore House, and receiv-
ed the same reply. 1t was the same
with the Eutaw, and the Howard House,
and half a dozen other hotels. 1t was
getting dark, and 1 began to think I
should have to sleep in the hack all
night.
"Try Old Town, Bill" said friend to
the hackEnan, who saw my dilemma.
''They are only third and fourth rate
inns, there" said the driver, "and per
haps the gentleman would not like to
lodge there for night 2"