The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-12-24
AMERICAN HUM0UR.

A clothes Notwithstanding silks
Philadelphia Chronicls.
A lawyers briefs sometimes very sxtSned
-Watsrleo Observer.
1t is the fat wholsves 10 have others aat-
ter him.-BsStsn Transcript.
1t don't take very fat horse to catch TIE
pizSotis.-Lowsll Citizen.
Ey,A the chestnut Norm will turn when
roasted. --CatIkill Recorder.
No danger Of counierfeit naezey in Spain.
The money there 10 reRl.-Boalon Post.
The man who missed HE footing probably
had hiI bsetr Gtolen.-Bostsn Transcript.
The killing of the devil may soon DO OK
pactod. It's an Impending svent.-Boston
Pest.
A new play is call Yankee idyl!-but
whoever saw a Yankee idls.-Norrstovn
Herald.
Nature should msnd her ways. English
tourists think American autumnal tiats en-
tirsly too loud.
Politicians sre now shaking tho voters they
were lato y SO snxipuE to shake hands with.
New Orleans Picsyune.
The Signal Sarvico always tells q young
man when it is time to tsko his ulster out OF
pawn.-NsU Orlesns Pieayunc.
The man who il too polit, to contradict a
lady wsR't make anything by it whea she
says sha amt good looking. Boston Post.
The LordoR LsU Journsl aiyerti,ss q
"Law Coach" We suppose tbia has soma.
thing to do with conyoyanoicg.- Albany
Journsl.
A lttlS girl who was much polted said, 81
ike sitting on gsntlemen's knees better than
lSdieH'; don't you ms"-Bcstoa Globe.
"Whst is there l6f." inquiries ELS
Wheeler in recent poom. Not an cfico,
deNr-aot one. They've swept everything.
-ElmiTa PrsEs.
Don't pick q pocket until it is rlpe-Bos
ton Transcript. Twill be green hand that
picks our pocket under that lule. New
Haven Register.
Hymen Is the only torch baarar whose
caapai, n mover ends Boston Globe, But
the procession is growing shorter every year.
New Haven Register.
The cars yacht makes Is knots on hour,
and it isn't circumstance to a ncadlsfu oi
thread that msa is trying to fsstou button
with.-Boston Post.
81 declare" exclaimed tlovenly writer,
II wish | could fad & pen that would lust
suit mo-" Aud Instantly chme the chorus,
Try pig pon."--Boston Transcript.
A cross.oy0d man who said no was going
up TO "vote as he shot" had his ballot care
'llv put among the scattering" by the
y iou5 inspsctsr.-Bss!on Commercial
, stn.
0bsn Brutus and Csssiug ware bsys the
girls used TO say that Brutc was suck q nice
fSllow, but they preferred Cs'k. The girls
savon't changed one bit Nav York Com
mcrcisl.
Al tbs social aciencs congress in Edinburgh,
MIRA Duncan McLsran protested against the
custody OF children beiRg considered as q
minor matter" Prsy, what is it thaG.-Al-
baay Lsw Journsi.
Naturally eaough tho manager who bad
zone Hundred Wives" mas taken to Drink"
Detroit Free Press. Aud now hs'll see
"Goblins." tie had better stuck to can
Amln' an Girl" Nsd not fooled with .'Iatri.
mony" so nuch.-Norristawu Herald.
"You have always had the reputation of
being IA honest man; aow does it heppau
that you have been guilty of theft" ITS
tho fault Of tho age in which we live. The
man who wAsts to make on honest living
nowadays can't do it unless he steals. -
Galveston News,
Lord Brougham in the House OF Lords
Was questioned by g Hawe,
- no the sbleSt ora 20
Aud answer gave the zane:
we've many an abe orator,
in Thought and action mGnly.
You ask me Tor the flys' one ?-lIem;
Tho neGond is Lord Stanley"