Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-01-25
Prof. Spectrum on Light.

My HEARERs-There are great many
kinds of light, sunlight moonlight, star
light, candle-hght, lamp-light, electric
light, headlight and light IN the head,
and lighthouses, a specimen of which I
see before me tonight But no matter,
can throw light upon my subject just the
same unless you all light out. Sunlight
is the best, as it. is the cheapest light
known at present. 1t is a misnomer to
call the sun light in one sense, however,
as that luminary weighs millions and
millions Of tons more than our earth does.
1t is disputed point were tire sun gets
its light in the first place. Some think
it gets it from
An auditor "Combustion."
Prof.-I'll come bust yin the nose if
you interrupt me again. Who's giving
this lecture, any way9 Some hold to the
theory that the sun is an immense ball
of fire
Boy sticks his head in the door and
yells "Firer'
Prof-That's bawl of fire that you
needn't pay any attention to, my hearers.
Others think it is q mere transparent
shell, with big bonfire in the middle
like candle in jack-o'lantern. Still
there are others with theory that the
sun has no light or heat Of its own, but
is gigantic mirror, as it were, that gath
ers and reflects light IRON nilllens of
stars all around it. Not SO unreasonable
theory either, when we consider the
amount of light material there is in Con-
gress at the present time, and allowing
that the other plants are alike literally
endowned.
Moonlight comes second, though many
susceptible young people prefer it to day
light 1t is better for wandering in.
Courtship is very largely made up OF
moonshine. The moon borrows it's light
from the sun, and the reason 1t never pays
1t back IS because it is often reduced
down to its last quarter. 1t is sometimes
claimed that the moon is made Of
"Cheese it!'
Prof.-The moon-eyed leper who ut
tered that disgusting sentiment is marked.
and his season ticket will not admit him
to any other lecture in the course. [
cancel the ticket.
"Well, if you can sell the ticket it is
more than I can do, and I have offered 1t
for MCKEE"
Prot.-I will now proceed to consider
other kinds of light. There is starlight.
That Is furnished by the stars whea the
moon is indisposed or under cloud.
Juliet wanted to cut Romeo up into lit
tie stars when he died, which leads me
to say Shakespeare has been terribly cut
up by little stars.
Old lady in the audience-'My stars!,
Prof.-No more yours than ours, my
dear madam. Candle-light and lamp
light you know all about. Gaslight Is
one of the most peculiar commodities In
the world. 1t has the faculty of running
you in debt when 1t is ali turned OFT.
Like interests, it never stops accumulat-
ing. Lock up your house, go away tor
months and your bill for gas comes IN on
your return at just the same old figures,
trlhe more if anything. know man
who had all the gas-pipes removed from
his house, and one dark night he took
the meter and buried it in the back yard.
Several weeks after gas man who was
passing along the alley next to the house
smelt something familiar, and he went
digging dDOuI III Glt UdCh- dlu oheiA IL
urearthed the meter. Then he examln-
ed it critically, put down some mysteri-
Gus figures in notebook, made a little
calculation and away. The next day a
bill was sent to my friend from the gas
office. charging him with $32.4S worth
of gas consumed since the meter had
been buried. Although gas bill is a
bill for light it is not light bill.
A volce-"Ain't you of a rather light
bull for a lecturerl"
Prof-You will find me heavy enough
if tackle you once. But I despise your
sneering comments. Besides, that l can
afford to be deaf to your light remarks,
1 have got your money. l would tell you
about the electric light, but have pro-
fessional repugnance to trespasslng up
On the field of brother Snowman. For
particulars you must wait for the ap-'
pearance OF Prof. Edison, who will soon
be in the lecture-feld himself and tell
you all about it.