The New Orleans daily Democrat. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1877-1880, 1880-03-21
CURRENT HUMOR.

i consult when should go.
The papers are denounclng the Gem Puzzle
i as u fraud, but the Boston IrdnscySpt con-
Siders 1t square game.
"The darky's hour is just before the dawn -
remarked SanbO when he started out before
daybreAk to steal q young chicken for break
| fast
| An Indiana girl who WAS suddenly kleeed at
| a party has become insane. Such things
| should DO talked over whole week before
hand.
| A Cleveland man fell dead In church inst
three minutes before the deacon was to take
up collection. There are lots OF ways to
save money.
Mr.. Smaltalk- is that a Virginia creeper
behind you, Misc Violet Miss Violet WILDLY
Oh, where where 2 On. do take 1t off I-I1iar-
ward LampoOn.
| Four OF the widows Of Brigham Young have
found rest and consolation with second hus-
| bands. The rest are 80 homely that they are
waiting to die-lDetroit Free Press.
Division Of Labor--Aunt, Mary-.Weli.
s@ goa 'e your s mt sa sna %
| tarry bat and Jumps. 90 tarry me II Lon
| don Punch.
A Connecticut widow. worth $4,000, 600, L.
rendy to marry. provided she can find man
who knows enough Almost any man knows
enough-to marry such a woman.-- Norris
town Herald.
A physician told Chicago man that he
could cure him Of his love Of whisky, and the
Mortified man at once notified the doctor that
he should employ another medical adviser.
Boston Post.
As we don't expect to go to Canada. we I'M
besitatlngly speak Of Mrs. Louise Campbell,
but Chicago bank cashiers talk Of Her Most
Gracious Royal Hlxhness the Princess Louise,
Marchioness Of Lorne.
Some Ohio folks got a stone statue OF q man
and got up a bang-up funeral and buried Il,
and a week later medical college had TO Ret
whole new SGT OF carving tools, and the pro-
fessors seem mad about something.
When Scotch member OF Parliament IL
obstinate his constituents walt on him In a
procession. headed by bagpipcs, and he gen.
orally holds out less than forty minutes.
What this nation needs Ia more bagpipes.
A Mexican undertook to get out states
mans almanac and book OF statistics for his
country, and after having prepared seven
different copies he had them spoiled by reyolu-
tions before he could get them In type. Then
he quit.
"A place for everything, and everything
In Its place." A man at Yale nails his slip
pers on the wall four feet UP, and then all he
has to do OF an evening is to wheel mp his
easy chair In front OF them and pull cut HIS
meerSchaum.
1t Ia the custom when person dies In Con-
necttcut for the age OF the deceased to be
tolled on the church BELLS and when Susan b.
Anthony is taken sick In a Connecticut town
the Mortified sections take to the woods to
escape Cne IatiRuHR thsK.
There Is one way that Ohio men can pre-
vent their bodies being stolen and carved UP.
They wi their bodies to some medical col
lege, and, Of course, there's always some law
yer on hand to break will In Ohio and be-
fore the case is decided the body isn't worth
having.
Two boarding house keepers are eompar-
Ing notes: ut pears to me, Mrs. MlRKles,
that your chicken salad Is never found out
leastvays, never hears none OF the boarderS
complain. We'll. you see." explained Mrs.
Mi9Hles, II aliurs chops up few feathers
with the veal"
An Iowa Clergyman arranged with the VIII
lage barber to shave the members OF his
church first on Sunday morning, 30 that he'd
have a full congregation. and the rival
preacher, to head hun off. found 1t necessary
to start dog fight to delay the men until It
was too late for church-going.
At the table d'hote commercial traveller
takes the dish OF radishes and empties its
monsieur. says one Of his neighbours. 'but1
am fond OF radishes, too" "Oh, not half go
fond OF then, as l am" replies the other, with
conviction and his mouth full.
The German comic newspapers have pic
ture OF youth astride OF horse which the
father Is anxious to dispose Of to q customer
who stands by, and the boy, who is In ignor-
ance OF the nature OF the bargain, leans from
the saddle and whispers to his parent,
Father, shall l ride him to buy or to SELF"
eled IN Europe said he was at dinner one
day ID Paris, aud while telling story was
attacked with sudden and continued fit OF
sneezlng. When he ceased Russian gentle
man at another table, named Plitcheekeo.
turned about and complimented him on his
excellent aud correct pronunciation OF the
Russian language.
The Supreme Court of Indiana decides that
the legal name OF a person consists Of one
Christian name and surname. Any one
may have as many middle names or initials
as are given to him, or as he chooses to take.
they DO not affect his legal name. This 10
terrible, as Mr.. ]: Laurence st. Clare de We're
Alphonse August Smith will have to leave
That State or make another J-n S-th.
To have that pretty girl of twenty recall
tnat piece OF deyiltry which she recolleetcd
MI. Gallagher had been guilty OF when he was
q ten year-old boy, and to have her remind
hlm Of It before lot Of people, natursly
~ az che did when he made believe to laugh
at the "reminiscences and said: "Ah, yes; I
recollect the scrape as well as you do though
IL was almost thirty years ago."
He wanted to join the - church. AfteEre-
latlng his experience about change of heart
ne Was put through course OF catechism
about his faith. His answers were generally
orthodox. A brother happened to ask him II
ne believed Ia angels. IT believe In any
nome, myself, believe-in. This morning she
that is, my angel broke the blue dish over
my head. Then sne cried, poor thing, IKE as
II her heart would break. She sobbed and
SAID that she was mighty sorry for It that she
proke the blue dish over my head. oh. Jim
my, she said, I wouldn't ha' broke tbs blue
dlsh over your head II your head hadn't been
SO hard Put me down as believer In an
gels. holy groan went up to heaven from
the listening brethren, and they all extended
the right hand OF fellowship. He struck EN-
there-they all had angels ut home.
~Ab
WOrkinxmen.