St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1880-10-16
ALL SORTS.

King George of Greece has reign
ed seventeen years, and.the average
duration Of his Ministries has been
less than ayear.
! An old salt, when asked how far
north he had ever been, replied
that lie had been SO far north that
1.-The COWS when MIXED beside u
red-hot stove gave ice cream.
A Kentucky girl died with the
heart disease few hours after her
marriage. This proves that young
women shouldn't marry until after
they have given their hearts away.
| The grasshoppers recently ate mp
half an acre of tobacco for man
down South, and when the owner
went up to look at it, they sat on
the fence and sqnirted tobacco juice
at him.
If Adam had been created boy
instead of a man, he wonld have
dubbed all the apples off from that
tree before the serpent had cnance
to get through the fence around the
garden.
A shrewd rascal advertises n ma
chine that will add up columns of
| figures foo. long" in six seconds.
He sends piece of chalk, with di-
rections to use it on barn door or
other surface big enough to hold
| figures Il foot long.
The late DR.. Bethune asked mo-
rose and misery man how he WAS
getting along. The man replied.
What business is that of yours -
Said the doctor, "Oh, sir, | am one
of those who take an interest even
in the meanest of Gods creatures.
When a man gets coat he
doesn't cnt q piece off the corner
of the goods Of which it is made
and sent it to his brothers, as wo-
men always send piece TO their
sisters when they get u new dress.
That's good way to tell man
; from a woman.
Artemus Ward once told rs that
the funniest story he ever heard
WIS about an inebriated reporter,
who lea ed over the railing of the
reporters gallery in the English
House of Lords, and inquired:
Will shum noble'ord plea shing
comic shung?'
It always sounds pretty to say:
The sun had sunk beneath the
western horizon" hit a moments
reflection shows that is about the
oulv horizon he could sink beneath
under the circumstances. When he
feels like sinking he always selects
the western horizon.
The hotel boy bad been instruct
ed, when he knocked mt Dean STAN
le'ys door, and heard the inquiry.
Who's there" to reply, The boy,
my lord" The boy answered the
| first call with considerable tTepida-
ton, and surprised the dean by u
loud response to his question:
The lord, my boy
Mrs. William Porter. highly
respectable Chicago wife, put on
male attire and went out to discover
where and how her husband spent
his evenings. She carelessly left
EARRINGS in her ears and bracelets
ON her wrists, and these things
caused a policeman to arrest her.
She had Mysteries when in court,
and the Justice thought she was
sufficiently punished without fine.
A four year old Sunday school
girl did the best she could with q
question that was asked the infant
class. Said the teacher: And it
came to pass, when King Hezekiah
heard it, that he rent his clothes.
Now what does that mean, children,
''he rent his clothes?' Up went a
little hand. well, if you know,
tell u.s." Please, ma'am, said the
child, timidly, Il 'spose he hired
EN- out.
Mark Twain says the only intro
duction to literary audience that
he ever had that seemed TO him the
right word in the right place-a
real inspiration-was as follows:
Ladies' AMI gentlemen. ! shall not
waste any unnecessary tire in the
introduction. I don't know any
thing about this man; at least |
only know two things about him