Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-06-11
Detroit Currency.

The young man who wants to get mp
with the sun must net sit up too late
with the daughter.
A wooden shoe factory has been
started in Illinois. It will use up
great many feet of lumber.
A London paper estimates the loss of
pins in Europe at 20, Zoo, 900 per day.
The next thing wanted is pin pad.
Oh {! shame. where is thy blush We
know. It's hidden under two or three
coats of paint and can't wriggle to the
surface.
It took a New England naturalist
seven hours to find an oysters mouth,
and then he didn't find any teeth worth
speaking CT.
So little has been said about the OAR
win theory Of late that some men are
again travelling on the regulations of
their forefathers.
Arkansas hogs have learned thing
or two. They dig holes in side-hills,
and head for them whenever anybody
yells out, "cyclone
The new chief OF police of Mil
waukee is a retired capitalist worth
$3.50, 900. When he can't brighten q
bad man out of town he can buy him
off.
Ten different men claim to have first
got the idea of the telephone. Most
of their claims are as empty as the
hello" which starts off q converse.
ton.
Order your statute before you die.
Then If the artist turns you out too
small in the back and too large on the
nose you can tell him what you think
of his skill.
Mere people want to leave the port
of Bremen for the United States than
can be furnished transportation. This
country is filling up SO fast that no one
can feel lonesome.
The brigands of Greece have il.
creased in number SO fast during the
last year that serious fears are enter
tanned that no one will be left to run
the government by fall.
A New York justice of the peace
refused to recognize the lactometer as
o test in the milk case, but swallowed q
tumblerful himself and called out !:
Chalk-ten dollars fine."
That North Carolina child which
was carried off by an eagle has been
recovered. He was found on q hay
stack, where the tired and good
hearted bird had left him.
There is really no pain in having a
tooth pulled. 1t is the soft, mild way
in which the dentist clatters his bushel
of tools that makes fellow think the
top of his head is being pulled off.
The HON Jrnl silks to its spelng with
przstncy worthy betr koz. The
language begins to LUX like vtern ov
the lat war, minus wun arm and both
legs New York Commercial Adver-
tiser.
A school-boy being detected in draw.
ing caricature, was asked by his teach
err. Were you looking in the glass
when you drew that ?" "No, SIR"
replied the boy. 81 was looking at
you"
America cannot too soon follow the
footsteps of England in seeking to
oOCiloh WIG SuotOIu VI WCdIluR
ing goods. Let the mourning be done
in the heart, instead of making grief o
sign-board.
The experienced married man not
only shakes the carpets, but he also
shakes all other spring house
cleaning by going to neighboring
city for a week on "business."-[ Nor
ristOWn Herald.
The Bloomington Eye publishes
births, marriages and deaths under the
heading Hatehed, Matched, Dis
patched" 1t would take less type to
saw: "Bred, Wed, Dead Phila.
delphia Bulletin.
"a young lady in Pen Yas, N. Y,
wears twelve diamond rings on one
finger" She should also wear q gold
band around her head, to prevent the
crack in her skull from becoming
wider.-[ Norristown Herald.
We cannot be too grateful to the
Naugatuck man who has invented
rubber shoe that can be carried in the
pocket. This will obviate leaving it in
the hail for some one to drain his
umbrella in.-[ Danbury News.
Daniel Webster was great man, but
when he found the pigs in the front
yard be got right down to other mems
level in minute and half, and he
didn't climb back until he had used up
every brickbat around the place.
Make a minute of that duel, Mr..
Shearer," said the chief to the news edi-
tor. Cant do il" replied the subaltern.
why not ?" "'Cause there's only
two seconds in it," Verdict of acct
dental death, caused by sudden increase
of salary.)
Lawyer G. (entering the office of his
friend DR.. NJ, and speaking in hoarse
whisper): Erred, I've got such cold
this morning that I can't speak the
truth. DR.. NJ: "Well, I'm glad it's
nothing that will interfere with your
business"
st am always COOL" was the boastful
remark of Robinson; / never forget
myself" And with one voice the boys
said, mo, We never know you to-"
And the sweet smile lighted with
heavenly effulgence every face Bos-
ton TransCriDt