, 1880-05-24
Detroit Currency.

Spring umbrellas are on the rise.
Have patience-that obelisk is
coming.
Now is the season for boys to 60
West and slaughter Indians.
Georgia intends to grow ono million
50-pound watermelons this year.
Seventy five cents worth of crude ore
will make $500, 1000 worth of watch
springs. Let's ore and ore.
No man can come upon a sign of
Keep off the grass without feeling a
spirit of defiance clear down to his
heels. sft .t
It is estimated that handsome wom-
an weeping before jury has more
effect in five minutes than two hours
talk.
The conscience fund of the treasury
is growing all the time, but it is fear,
and not honesty, that compels restora
ton.
Railroad eating houses in Connecti-
cut employ religious walters altogether.
They won't talk back when tho coffee
is called slop."
A New York farmer has beeen trying
to invent something to take the place
of hop-poles, and the mental strain has
made him a lunatic.
Bet you two to one that don't go
to prison, said Mr.. Walker, of Illinois,
and he out with pistol and banged a
bullet into his head.
Krupp, the German gunmaker, has
orders ahead for 1000 cannon, and yet
all the crowned heads are writing taffy
letters to each other.
The Modern Argo says that the frogs
we're the first to organize leap-year
parties. Yes, and they were the inven-
tors of the bellows, too.
If the white paper ring is busted,
every man in the country will have oc-
casion to rejoice, for it is q ring which
robs even the school-b boys.
When the news reached Russia that
BeacoEsfield was goner, several gen
tlemen of high renown said they
wouldn't go home till morning.
Prof. Huxley says it is just as safe as
to marry on three weeks courtship as
to wait longer. Each side will conceal
all faults as much as possible anyhow.
The author of " Is Life Worth Liv-
ing ?" is said to be so solemn looking
that he couldn't laugh if paid for it.
What he lives for is secret Of his own.
Those treasury girls will learn, after
a few more Christiancy cases, that true
happiness can only be found in marry
ing young men on very small income.
Watch every Congressman who seeks
to delay or strangfe the free paper bill.
1t will be the duty of every honest
nam to help defeat such men at the
polls.
William Penn was no doubt very
honest man, but for all that he ex-
changed six hatchets and gun for
enough Indian land to make one big
country.
Two or three centuries hence the
name "angel" may still endure, but
the artist who illustrates them with
bare feet and robes flying, will be
hooted at.
The biggest hustle of the season was
detected ut the Custom House in New
York the other day. A steamship pas
senger had forty yards of broadcloth
wrapped around her.
How foolish for artists to represent
Cupid as the god of love, when We all
know that an old stocking full of money
has more influence than forty Cupids
crowded up together.
A Vermont man spent 12O successive
days in trying to run down and kill
fox, and when at last he got sight of
him and fled shot the bullet killed a
5000 horse and the fox sloped away.
If you get on the right side of the
King of Siam he will decorate you with
the Order of the White Elephant. If
you get on the wrong side he will dec
crate yonr grave with pumpkin vine.
A Boston paper thinks there ought to
be a law in this country to compel every
girl who is engaged to wear red bow
at her throat. That wouldn't do bit
of good. Every girl would wear one
GLOUCESTER CHowDER - Boil six
pounds cf cod or haddock (the latter is
better) five minutes in one quart of
water. Take the kettle from the fire,
put the fish on plate to cool. strain
the water, and return it TO the kettle
with five or six (more if liked) sliced
potatoes and sliced onion; boil until
they are nearly cooked, then add the
fish, the bones and skin having been. re-
moved; add two quarts of milk, with
pepper and salt to taste, and boil FIVE
minutes; take off the kettle. add six Or
eight Boston crackers, split: add two
and a half ounces of butter and stir.
gently, to mix the ingedients. Pour
into the tureen and serve very hot,
WIT ON THE ENGLISH BENCH.-The