The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1880-03-18
PASSING SMILES.
" BEFORE the war" "-courting.

whole cloth.
A PErRIFIED body indicates that the
man Is stone dead. ...
81 THINK I'll take something" as the
thief said when he mixed in the crowd.
The best place to have boil-in the
tea kettle. 1t is easily drawn. l.
A MISUNDERSTANDING = when A
young lady comprehends, of course.
az TUMBLE to the wreck it," as the
high wind said to the prairie hut.
WHERE theresa will there's way;
and where there's won't there's a
woman behind it.
PROBLEM in logic: II God made the
country and man made the town, who
made New Jersey?
DEATH may love shining mark, but
the bald.headed live about as long as
anybody. r-tr ...a
BREvITY is the soul of wit, but it has
to be stretched out good deal some
times to get enough for the uppers
"DEATH loves shining mark, " which
is perhaps the reason why dead mack
eral shines on moonlight night.
A MAN once asked of Echo, what
shall do if my wife drinks liquor?"
and the unfeeling nymph answered.
click her."
AN infamous old bachelor being asked
If he ever witnessed public execution
replied, " No, but / once saw mar
riage."
"TENNYsoN spends hours on single
line" And so, by the way, does the
washerwoman. And the line of the lat
ter is the longest.
If big head denotes ability, it is an
interesting sight to observe what a shew-
ing of ability this town puts forth every
Monday morning. .....
A WITNESS in court was asked II
party to the suit was a truthful
man. "No;" he answered, shed rather
lie at sixty days than tell the truth for
cash."
The plethoric paste pot of an editor
who clips more than he writes, is like his
paper-seldom filled with live mat
-Hackensack Republican. Experience
teacheth.
GREAT men do not consider them
selves above everybody else; tits those
| ignorant little runts who wear standup
collars and sport canes, and who refuse
to pay their washing bills, that think
everyone beneath them, .-. .
No other incident can, call to mans
| ~ sl;nttp Nt a.
sumed unconsciousness as the accidental
fall of bottle of whiskey from his
pocket to the sidewalk on Sunday af-
ternoon.
WHO wouldn't be sailorY All you
have to do is yell "aye, aye, sir" at the
top Of your voice about once in ten min
utes. The rest of the time you can look
over the ships stern and watch the
sharks.
HE saw q carpet hanging out
Upon the cothes-line in the rear
OF that hne mansion, and he thought,
THE folks are out, the coast Is clear,
| I'll bag that Brussels III ] can"
He did, and making no delay,
Adown the alley in the dusk,
| .. The carpet-Gagger tramped away,
MISUNDERSTANDING you engaged
for the next German" He(with eager.
ness) )-"No, Pm not" She with PITY
ooh, that's too bad Good evening. Bee
you later" ...
THE bar-keeper had made ready for
him, and when the man came in who
never paid for his drinks and called for
cacktail, the b. k. gently placed 9
ROSTERS feather in glass of water and
smiled piratical smile that made hi
face look like dried prune. ,.
MAN wants but little ear, below, moi
wants that little long. Man wants but
little ear bologna, wants that little long
Man wants but little leer; wants bu
litter here below; wants but little Leaf
below; wants but Little here below
wants but little ear blow, etc.
"JoBN, what odor is that2" "Cloves
love-" "But that otheS?" " "Allspice
my beloved" "But isn't there anotherT
eyes, apples, belovedest." Just one
moref hRaisins, my most belovedest.
"Well, John, if you'd only drink just q
little brandy, now, think you woult
, make good mince pie"
THIS being leap year, a boarder at al
uptown amateur hotel thought it hn
7 fun to put bent pin on each vacan
chair, until one agile feeder leaped VI
!, four feet into the air and came dow
with his great unwashed hand in tn
. only bowl of hash in the house. Ther
was q famine until supper time.
The dul-eyed donkey droops his head,
Wrapped IN himself
I With patent perspicuity,
. And moekly follows where he's led
-Ht '. The cunning elf:
@ But when his heels begin to shed,
His latent assiduiy
MHaessnsaei Republican.
ais there any mail for meT' she sal
to a handsome Ike. ...
/, Certainly" said ne.
"Where y said she. ,
"Here." said he, with open arms.
!, "Thats my funeral" sang the mait
! Friends are invited to attend withou
!. further notice. So much for what tn
raid made by getting the male mail.
THE better man becomes, tt
q stronger does the hope of " the glory q
i going on Y" take hold Of his nature. Tn
\ instructive expectation of life beyon
!, the grave strengthens with the increai
4 of virtue in the soul. The man wh
a lives best most keenly feels that life
a worth living, most resOlutely turr
n away from the thought of its extin'
e tion. ..t.
n "To be plane with yOu," sid the ca
Ie penter, ri see no shaving in the scheme
10 aYou don't ?" calculated the coope
l. "why, it adze largely to my income
le "Is that awl?" added the siroenake
0, "No," answered printer, "if he'll stit
% to it, he'll form an idea of what IL Is
,r rule" "Pshaw," exclaimed the bar
70 cashier, "these are only fgur, Of speecl
a, we must protest against the thing
It "No, said the untutored bl.cksmitl
N "Pve blowed for him, an he must anv
, | 40 .~~kHImm ~ ~ DDr