Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-06-12

of happiness. My child My baby !
What will she be like. / write " she, .
for | know it will be girl. What will
she be like! see her lying in your lap.
Marguerite, with laughing eyes looking
into yours. All your troubles are over, as
mine have been, except as regards you,
dear. Such pretty little hands-the little
: fingers are on my heart strings now -
"'Dear Lord of this sweet earth, make
me grateful for the blessings you have
showered on my life, and let my little
baby be like Marguerite Grant that I
may be spared to show my love to both
these dear ones, and to Harold, who has
behaved so nobly to me
e All, Marguerite, that he should love
me, a poor girl-he SO high, SO faithful,
and wise, and 1 SO low, SO ignorant, and
inexperienced it not wonderful?
e.. He will not be here tonight he is
absent on some great business. So pres
emily, Marguerite, shall turn down the
lights and bring you before me. have
often done so, and yearned to clasp you to
my heart. shall see you standing at a
little distance from me, and ! shall creep
to your side, and place my shadow-baby in
your arms. Shadows tonight, but soon to
be real, thank God-soon to be real All,
Clarice there lives not on earth happier
woman than you.
&c My baby is born. She is week old,
and am strong enough to sit on the sofa
and write q few words slowly, to place with
other confessions of mine in my old Bible.
What is there written is heart record, and
is for Marguerite when she and are to-
gether again.
Being alone for little while have
read over what l have written, and am
glad had the resolution to continue my
confessions SO / will call them-from
time to time. I should have forgotten
so many things that Marguerite viii like
to read.
My baby is asleep, her winsome face
turned to mine. She is now my life
dearer to me than my own, more precious
to me than all else in the world. You will
not be jealous, Marguerite. When you
have child Of your own-which I pray
you may have one day, dear sister-you
viii feel as I DO, that life contains no joy SO
sacred, so beautiful.
"' From this moment summer is in my
heart I look at my baby in silent wonder
and worship. How sweet is the air-how
beautiful the world
81 Harold is not with me so constantly
as he used to be- Affairs OF Importance
keep him from me. When chide him for
his absence ne says, 1.-The world, child,
the world There are other duties besides
love" He loves me. Is that not enough?
"' Ard yet I torture myself. Baby is
now six months old, and Harold should
notice her more. 81 prefer to notice
you he says to me; and then he kisses
me and talks to me of the world. Is that
a reason why men do not love children as
women do asked Harold that question,
and he answered carelessly, cit may be so.
CIarice, be satisfied with things as they
are Do not make troubles they come
without invitation" Trouble will never
come to me, I said, looking fondly into
his face, while you are with me-" He
said nothing to this for quite minute he
seemed to be thinking of the words.
"While l am with you, child" he then
said "is that to be for ever!" "Of
course" l said, for ever" He smiled
and said, "Well, well, child, enjoy the
sun while it shines"
My heart is not entirely at rest. But
l must not make troubles, as Harold says
Perhaps it is because I expect too much.
Marguerite has spoiled me. There never
lived human being so faithful and de-
voted as my dear sister.
'' . A cloud hangs over me, and cannot
shake it off, Have brought it on myself
What sin, what crime have 1 committed
that my life should be thus dirkened?
" Last Sunday went to the village
church accompanied by baby and my maid.
On the way my maid told me that the pas.
tors granddaughter was to be married dur
ing the week, and desire to be present at
the wedding took possession of me. For a
long time the pastor and have not spoken.
1t is painful to intrude when one feels one
is not welcome, and as the pastor always
appeared to receive me with constraint,
ceased to speak to him, contenting myself
with bowling when l met him on my way tc
or from the church. He invariably re
turned my salutation with gentleness, ant
! sometimes looked attentively at him t.
see if he was angry with me but there wai
no anger in his eyes-only pity. But why
should he pity me And why should
he be SO careful that his grandchild and
should not be friends +?
80 I waited at the church door till h
came out; he would have passed me had
not moved toward him, almost entreat
ingly. At some distance from us stoo'
his grandchild and her lover, who, seeini
: the pastor stop to speak to me, would hav
come to us had he not, by a motion Of hi
Al
action was, 1 understood it, and the tear
rose in my eyes. Sir" l said, yer.
[ humbly, 81 have great favor to ask 0
' you, but you give me no encouragement
If you knew what pain You cause me, yo1
would be kinder to me-" He answered
4" have no harsh thoughts for you, youn
lady. Ask what you wish if it is in m.
power will grant it. "Your grandchil,