The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1880-04-22
NOR

When q man proposes he makes his
maiden effort.
Widows and widowers ought to be re-
paired.
Kisses by telephone taste like a
boiled china egg on toast.
One of the comical sights of leap year
will be a girl whispering tail of love in
the ear of q deaf man.
Give girl long eye lashes and small
hands and she will put up with No. 6
feet and marry all around a curly-head-
ed girl wearing ones and half.
A boy recently hanged himself be.
cause ''somebody found fault with
him" That boy was certainly not born
to be an ditor..
Distinguished American (traveler in
in Russia): "Here is q nice fix I'm in
invited to dine with the car, and no
insurance on my lie.
"Where have you been for a week
back ?" asked Felix Dunshudder. "Just
been in for a couple of porous plasters,"
was he reply.
She was plump and beautiful, and he
was wildly fond Other. She hated him,
but, woman-like, strove to catch him.
He was flea.
No woman should ever give a plump
"no' to an offer of marriage. Hold on
to evena poor one and use it for bait.
Kate Field has never been woed and
won. The men who have attacked her
heart have found "fair Field and no
favor.''
There is lady I'm Whitehall who is
so fashionable that she wont eat board
ing-house butter unless the hair is
banged.
At last accounts Alphonso was call
ing her "Chrissie, DEAR" and she was
retortiDg with "Fonny, darling" Go it
while you feel that way, children.
The girl who gets married on the
10Th of February and thinks she's
smart, wont feel as proud of tae job
when she comes to want to celebrate
tin and crystal and silver weddings.
"Sam, what is bigoted?' "Why, BIZ
goted is knowing too much for one mig
ger, and not 'nu& for two. Eh! YAH"
After all, the good things of this life
are evenly distributed. "Mebbie your
sled is better than mine," said one boy
to another, ''but yer hain't never had
the Itch"
The expression, "Uneasy lies the head
that wears q CROWN" is absurd, because
no sensible king ever goes to bed with
his crown on. He always hangs it on
the back of chair, with his vest.
The editor of the Sauquoit IN. W,
Register suggests that persons sending in
big eggs will please accompany them
by several oldinary-sized ones, not for
publication. but 80 that the contrast
will be apparent, and as guaranty of
good faith.
Remarks by a Texan maiden to her
perfdious lover: II amt got no broth
er, and dads too old to fight; but if you
will just take one of these here pistols
and step off few PAGES, III jine in the
duet, and misses won't count" -An-
drew's Baear.
my darling" said he "what a de-
licious taste your lips have" Then
she sprang up and yelled, Goodness,
John, have you been eating my lip
salve?"
1t isn't an indication of very Iowa.
bic disposition or gentle temper in a
girl, when she flares up all at once and
exclaims, II think you should be
ashamed"
A health journal says: "Remember
that one of the best ways to warm the
feet is to sit where the full sunlight may
fall upon the extremities." No lady
will sit and converse with callers with
her feet boosted up in the window to
catch the sun.
Sandy accepted the guide wife's invi-
tation, with the rerervation, ''if Pm
spared" "Weel, weel," said the lady.
''if ye are dead I'll not expect ye."
Brace up, girls! Prof. Proctor esti-
mates the age of the earth at 10000
years. and it isn't married yet.-Brook-
Ign E,gk. Then there is q mistake
somewhere. She's been ''Mother Earth"
ever since we can remember.
The poet Tennyson is worth $780,
600; we don't see what use there was
in writing "Come out when / am dead"
They'll be on hand, every one of them,
when the will is opened.
There is still some pleasure in the
airy castles and dreamy scenes of q
hopeless love-some beauty in the
gossamer fabric woven by love in the
loom of fancy, whose wool is the gol-
den wire Of unwisdom and whose web
is the silver threads stolen from the
sunlit realm of imagination and hope.
She wore belted ulster cloak,
All bnttoned down before,
standing collar, and the tic
think was red she wore.
Aj0ckey hat sat on her nose,
she carried . rattan,
And all who saw her couldn't tell
The lady from man.
An exchange has the following OBJ
servation: ave always get mad when