The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-03-18
which saw no appropriateness save of
the vsguest kind, in connection with

{" as sure as this mans name is William
Wilkin he shall lose his license. He
has concealed the cabman on his
premises, and is probably at this mo-
ment supplying him with liquor in con-
travention of the Jaw. His object evil
IDENTIFY is TO persuade me that he and
his family have gone to rest; but he
does not know your uncle" Again l
pealed the bell and knocked smartly at
| the door with the handle of my umbrella.
A window on the upper floor was now
opened: Well, what's the matter ?'
inquired gruf and sleepy voice, or
rather q gruf. voice that. simulated
sleepiness.
'tThe matter is" said, in an austere
tone, that you have got the cabman
belonging TO this vehicle under your
roof, where he is, have no doubt,
drinking.1
"You're liar" interrupted the voice
with great distinctness.
Before could express my indignation
John burst into such fitof laughter as
1 should have thought- no Eton boy
could have INDUCED in; a very loud,
coarse, vulgar laugh, indeed, am sorry
to say.
Now, you had better trot off-you
two," cried the voice at the window.
It's plain you've had as much as you
can carry"
"Sir," cried I, authoritatiyely,D let
me tell you am Middlesex Magis-
trate."
"Oh, yes; a likely storyl" was his
audacious reply. "You've got 'Ighbury
Barn written upon your countenance,
l. ~ a. L
slammed down the window.
I regret to say that my humiliation of
mind, which was extreme, was greatly
increased by the misconduct of my
nephew, who, far from expressing
sympathy either for myself or with the
majesty of the law which had been thus
outraged in my person, indulged in the
most unseemly merriment. He made
night hideQus," /" as / subsequently, OBJ
served (borrewing the phrase from alt
tie book of q uotations which sometimes
refer to and find very handy on the
bench) with his uproarious laughter.
"Come away" I said sternly; this
innkeeper is evidently drunk. 1t is
more than even necessary to sift this in
famous case to the very bottom. We
must now find a policeman"
did not care for the cab now. Twas
bent on-no, not Vengeance-on redress
and on the administrations of justice. 1
would teach this contumacious publican,
at whatever personal inconvenience (and
it was showing like mad that Magis-
trate for Middlesex was not to be set at
defiance. l believe that the British
schoolbody is allowed tojhave less rever-
ence in his constitution THAN any Zulu
Kafiry yet it will hardly be credited
that, throughout that painful, search for
the officer of the law, John was half in
Mysteries, and perpetually quoting that
most offensive observation of the inn
keepers Gin which confess I could see
no sort of humor), You've got 'Ighbury
Barn written upon your countenance,
you have"
1t seems to me pity that Magistrate
cannot commit a person for contempt of
court unless he catches him in court,
for little discipline would have done
John good. However, do not wish to
dwell upon any personal matter. At
the end of the next street we found a
policeman.
And here again John was nearly the
cause of my being discredited, for no
sooner did observe to the man, by way
of introduction, that was Magistrate
for Middlesex than the boy broke out
into fresh burst of laughter, which
caused the policeman to remark: "Had
you not better get home, both of You T
in very incredulous manner. How
ever, i produced my card and that very
Fsoon brought him to his senses. He ac-
companied us back to the "Seven Stars"
(which was the name of the public
house) and there stood the cab in front
of it and the inn in darkness, Just as
before.
This must be very old offender" I
said, policeman"
But he did not seem to know whether
he was or not, for he only shook his
head. Our united exertions at the door
and I will say that John hammered
away at it with praiseworthy vehemence
once more brought the landlord to
the window.
"Oh, there you are again, are you,' %
he said, "and in custody? That's what
generally comes of 'Ighbury Barn."
was so speechless with indignation
that was obliged to get the policeman
to speak for me. AS for John, he was sit
ting on the pavement in apparent con.
yulsions, with his gloves in his mouth.
this here gentleman, landlord, is a
| Middlesex Magistrate; there's no bloom
ing error about it; I've seen his card,
He says as you've got cabman on your
premiges drinking after hours"
Giles liar. as I told him before, u
was the impudent rejoinder.s
John here grew worse than ever,
muttering pIaintiyely, "Oh, dear,
shall die"
/ "No, no." said the policeman, "the
| gentleman is O. K, and you had better
| give him no sauce, or you'll lose youl
license"
"He shall lose it." / murmured tc
myself, as sure as his name is William
Wilkins"
"Well, all I can say is, returned the
landlord, with mitigated gruffness,
turned that there cabman out of my
house before II O'clock"
"But here's his cab," exclaimed, in
eredulously.
! "Why, Lor' bless me, the mans in
side of It'll" cried the policeman sud
denly-and there, indeed, he was, a
fast asleep as church.
| OF course John had fresh convul
sion. Mr.. Wilkins inquired from tn
window whether was quite sure nov
that 1 had made fuss enough abou
nothing, or whether there was an,
other practical joke upon an homes
householder which, as a Middlese1
Magistrate, / should like to play
Finally, he inquired, with a rapfc
change from irony to earnest, what
was going to stand in the way of rem
aration2
Ifelt myself SO in considerably-Iw vii
not say in the wrong, but victim t
misapprehension-that gave Mr.. VIII
kins sovereign thought five shil
lings was judicious investment in tn
case of the policeman. which I gave hin