Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1880-06-11
f. It N


FL N
sRoIL BENGoL TAGGER. Zone time
there was man which had tagger, and
the tagger was sho and the man charged
money for to get in. The man he had a
big paper naild onto to the tagger's den,
and the paper it said, the paper did: THE
Roll Bengol Tagger, sometimes called The
Monuerk of the Jungle. Hands off. No
techin the Taggsr!" The monnerk OF the
jungle it was always a lyin down with Its
nose tween its paus, and the foxes which
had paid for to get in thay was mad cos it
wudent wax end rore like distent thunder.
But the sho man he said: "That's oil rite
when get the new cage, but this is the
same cage what the offle Teller broke out
of in Oregon, time he ct up seventeen men
and their families" Then the folks thay
wude oil stand back and took in whispers
while the tagger slept. But one day fel-
Ter which was drunk he take to punch in
the tagger with the mas.-he ad of his UNI
breller, which stampeded the odience wild,
and the wimmen folks they stud onto
chairs and hollered like it was mouse
But the drunk chap he kept jobbin the
monnerk of the jungle crewel. Pretty
sumo the monnerk it bellered of1e and rig
gled, but the Teller kept pokn like he was
fireman to steam engine. BimebY the
monnerk it jumped onto its hine feets and
sleeps and spit onto it's hands and spoke
out and sed Il bedam If can It jest VOL
lop the pea-green stuffin out o. the gum
dasted galoot witch has been proddin this
ere tagger!" And the odience thay was
tonished.-Little Johnny IN San Fran
cisco ArgonaM.
STRINGY CABBAdE.-George was ex-
travagantly fond Of cold cabbage, and one
day seeing quite a dishful was left after
dinner asked his wife to save it for his sal
ad at night. About midnight he came
home laboring under stress of heavy
weather. Feeling hungry and thinking of
his favorite cabbage he asked where it was.
His wife replied, in the pantry en- the
second SHELF" Down he went, found the
cabbage, got out the oil. mustard and vim
egar. cut up the cabbage, dressed it to his
tate and ate it all. In the morning his
wife noticed the plate Of cabbage where she
had put it the day before, and turning to
her dear George" innocently asked why
he did not eat the cabbage.
II did" he said.
''How did you like it 20
''Oh, not very well; it was tough and
str ingy.''
''But here is the cabbage now; where
did you find any more 20
''Why, on the second shelf where you
told me-"
A quick look at the shelf by the wife and
then cry of agony.
"Why, George, you have eaten 500 worth
of lace collars and cuffs that had put in
starch; stringy cabbage, indeed
1t is related of Thackeray that, being
very DESTROYS to see a ''Bowery boy" a
New York rough OF twenty years ago, he
went with friend into the haunts of that
peculiar creature TO look for one. Very
soon his companion pointed out to him a
genuine specimen standing Oh the corner
Of street against lamp-post, red-shilt-
ed, black-troasered, soap-locked. shiny
HATED, with a cigar in his mouth elevated
at an angle Of forty-fve degrees.
After contemplating him for few mo-
ments Thackeray said to his friend that he
would like to talk to the fellow, and asked
if he might do 80.
Surely he was told, Ego to him and
ask him to direct you somewhere
Thereupon Thackeray approached, and
politely said:
MY friend, 1 should like to 60 to --
street?''
''Well,' replied the Bowery boy, in his
peculiar tones, and without moving any
thing but his lips as he looked up lazily at
the tall, gray haired novelist, "Well, SON.
ny, YOU can go il you won't stay too long. >
Thackeray was satisfied.
One very hot day case was being tried
in court of law in one of the Western
States. The counsel for the plaintiff hat
had been speaking at great length, and
referring to numerous authorities, was
about to produce another imposing volume
when the Judge inquired the amount il
dispute. On being informed that it wa!
two dollars, he said: "Well, the weather
is very hot, am very old, and also feeble
-I'll pay the amount myself"
A militia officer wanted to compliment
negro by drinking with him. "Well
captain" replied Cuff, Use very dry, SO
won't be ugly about it. Some niggers is
too proud to drink with milishy osslfer-
but think milishy ossifer, when saber
is just as good as nigga-'specially if the
nigga is dry"
Editors all unite in asking Edison to in
vent a style Of newspaper columns tina
will enable each separate advertiser tt
have space next to the reading matter
and at the top Of the column. Therel
millions in it.
Many girls would rather wear theil
stockings with holes in them than hav,
them darned, because when darned the,
are mended, and girls prefer men alive.
If you want to raise good crop Of gar
den sssass.'' turn your hens into you
neighbours lot.