Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-12-24
English Ignorance Of America.

English Ignorance Of America.
remember, says " the Philosopher -
of the Syracuse UeralG, having young
Englishman for anear neighbor = pma
years ago, who used to make me a sort
of confidential counsellor. lie was M
agreeable, pretty, intelligent fellow,
and too well bred to utter all his
thoughts aloud, but away down in the
bottom of his heart | always fanciel he
cherished complacont notion that he
had somehow conferred Il favor upon
the United States by coming to 1.-Two in
them. One day he entered my Office
displaying new silk umbrella.
How much do you suppose that
cost me ~ he inquired, az he turned it
around and up and down to enable me
to inspect it thoroughly.
about eight dollars, l should say"
l answ cred, after examining it.
" Eight dollars!" he repeated; That
is-a--one pound twelve, isn't it?
Well you came not far from it. i paid
in all just two guineas for it." "Then
my friend, | am sorry to say you were
cheated. How came you to give SO
much 2" 1T cost one pound two ut
Martins in the Arcade. and as knew
your customs duties here were 80 out
rageous, paid purser on one of the
ocean steamers sovereign to get it to
me-" But why, for Heavens sake,
did you send abroad for it?' "Oh l
knew that IN this country should have
to pay Martins price, and the duty and
the importers profit; whereas, by i'm
porting directly myself l had only the
first cost and bonus to pay" d" But
would not an American umbrella have
kept the rain off your head equally
we'll q IAN American umbrella! 1 did
not suspect that you made them in this
country" On another occasion my
English friend sent home for set of
Dickens works, and was amazed to
learn that he could have bought the
same books here for half the price in
an edition authorized by the great
novelist himself Once more he met
with like startling bit Of news in re-
gard to barometers, and again when he
took infinite pains to smuggle through
the custom house London silk hat.
l lost sight of tho young gentleman n
good while ago, but l hope, if our
paths ever cross again, that l shall find
him wiser for the lessons Of observation
he has learned in the interval.
HIDDEN HURTS. Many babe gets
a wrench from loving hands that might
account for the. sudden attack of spasms
the day after, or for hours of fretful-
ness that no coaxing seems to soothe
and no medicine appears to reach.
Falls fromilittle perambulators while in
charge of nurses. though they leave no
outward and visible sign in the shape
of cuts or bruises, may have inflicted
something worse by far than cuts or
bruises would have proven to be. Gases
have occurred frequently where infants
have had falls OF which nurses have
lot told, ana no marks from which
were visible to tho eye, but which made
the child unaccountably fretful for
weeks, until curvature of the spine
told its frightful story. For this rea-
son mothers cannot be too careful in
handling their little ones and looking
after them personally, rather than
trusting SO much to hired nurses. A
child is tender thing, and hurt
which leaves no surface scar may have
laid the foundation of An early death or
future deformity.
At a social gathering in Walker coun-
ty, Ga, Colquitt and Woods fell into IL
discussion on their wives merits. They
had been married only q year, but
Woods confessed that he was already
convinced that he and Mrs. Woods were
badly mated-that he would be happier
with Mrs. Colquitt. That was followed
by Colquitt's avowal that he preferred
Mrs. Woods to his own spouse. A bar
gain.w made on the spot to transfer the
wives. Mrs. Colquitt, when informed
of the trade, joyously acquiesced, kut
Mrs. Woods rebelled and went back to
her fathers house. Mrs. Colquitt went
to live with Woods. but their honey.
moon WAS short. for mob dro e the
two men out of the place.