The new North-west. [volume] (Deer Lodge, Mont.) 1869-1897, 1880-12-17
AII.EEaED HTS h, ss Dr. w1r.s

ALIEaED ErTs Or VIII
A cross-eyed man who said he was going
10 vote, as he shot, had his vote carefully put
among the "scattering " by the judicious in
spector. -.s......
Well, now, shall we 90 right along and cut
down the army . little more, or will he feel
too lonesome IL we discharge the other one,
Hapkeye. ~ 1.. .... q
Made of the mist---drizzling rain.-Med-
ern Argo. Made of the inister-his sweet
heart. Made of the mystery--hash. .-Mara-
titon Independent. -g Ii .'as Il
-"Empty is the Cradle, Baby's Con" !" is
the title Of the latest serio-idiotic song. 1t
viii probably be followed by Empty Is the
Bottle, Papa's Full" .. '".@ .1..s 80
First gent (at the theatre) =" What do you
think, Of the scenery ?" Second GENT
think never saw prettier Gainsborough
hat In my life."-W WAessiag Lssdss-
A medical writer asks: "Does position
affect sleep?" Well, rather. If You We're
hung up by your trousers on . spiked fence
you wouldn't sleep very soundly.-Boston
Post. .... . j.. ........ .....-. -........-. .....:
What Is life !? IN infancy, q battle with col,
ic: in youth, struggle to keep out Of mis-.
chief In manhood, q struggle with indiges.
ton, and in old age the prelude Of contest.
ed will. &c.. . ... . .... .- s..
Shocks went home the other night afflict
ed with double vision. He sat for some
time with his sleepy gaze riveted on Mrs
Snooks, and then compiacently remarked
"well, hope t'holier If you two gals dom
look enough alike to be twins" 3.
A "constant reader" asks western edito
who was the author Of the Junius letters, ,ant
and the editor replies that "they were writ
ten by the late "Mr. Junius." All tha
editor wants is d leather cover to be q bio
graphical encyclopedias. Norristo~n Her
aid.
A fashion paper tells us that silken hester,
Is now all the rage In Paris, with insertion i''
of portraits and medallions Of point lace
Fancy glancing At your lady loves stock
ing and finding there the portrait Of u
some other fellow, exclaims the Buffalo E1
press. ,......
A South End woman hunted two hours TO
a needle she dropped on the floor and sh
couldn't find it and then her husband cam
| In and had hardly taken off his before b
could tell where it was. Queer how me
can do things that women cant.-Detroi
| Free Press. Il .a.Z ....... - If.
Under the headline of "Cream Of Gth
Cream" the New York Graphic. schurns on
following: 4" What decoration Is that you at
wearing" said an Austrian sergeant to ne'
recruit. The man blusiied deeply and n
sponded: aIt's medal our COW won at
cattle show" "-... '.;
| A sort Of soup-er. iish-al meal-Chowde
for lunch. Usually "through by daylight
Sleep. Where to look for a gallon mea
ure-At the adressmaker's. As gener,
rule, II yor, fool with q mule, heel up wit
his hinder and give you binder; kint
er. How to get on "tight I" shoe fake
horn. The best kind OF pocket peace
Plenty Of change. -
One awful cold night-colder than two .
the coolest nights eombined-a hunt
named Hosking built an extra big fire in h
log cabin to keep warm, an he kept q pilin
on the wood until the cabin was all ablaz
and when few persons livin' around the
saw the light an run to his assistance, the
saw Hosklng sittin' in the midst Ct Il
flame, shiverin' and rubbing Of his han
as though he couldn't get warmed, and VIII
the shanty was all burned to ashes th
found him in the ruins a-sittin' on the
hickory log frozen to death.-Minnesotoe
Eli Perkins. ,f......... .............. ...,
A few days since an old gentleman a
wife presented themselves beforea SalemI
tary for the purpose Of making a deed
some land which they had sold.t The no
ry produced the requisite blank and ask
b the old gentieman's name. Thatlwas WI
ten down and the notary theninquired
u wife's name. "We call her mother" y
the old man" "Has she no other, name
y demant' ed the scribe. The old man scrss
7 cd his head, thought few imiuutes,a
: then turning 10 the old woman,s said: ''W
. was il they called yeu when you were q,
. old womanT" yShetook the pipe from
y mouth, puckered up her lips and sen
y stream Of tobacco juice straight st the I
! ,eompossdiy reclining beneath the stove,
y tersely replied: MANDY" "Yes, yes,"'
y the oman, turning to the notary, al
y iieve they did use TO cali her Mandy
y Louis Republican. -