Mexico weekly ledger., 1880-01-15
JIM's CHRISTMAS GIFT.
How He Handles His New .pIug., Hat,

VAMS CHRlSIMAB GIFT.
Sour JIM is very popular, espec-
Tally among the ladies. With many
other handsome Christmas presents,
the ''dear boy received a fine stove
pipe hat, with the compliments of his
lady friends. Jim looked at the hat,
put it on, and then looked all around
to see if the whole world was looking
at him. Saturday evening he came
for his weeks salary. He smiled a
grave yard CHASTITY smile from under
his tile as he remarked that 1880
would probably not be a dry year.
He fingered q few moments after al.
the other bovs lad gone, and asked
us If we did not think we could raise
his wages for 1880. He said he
thought we did net appreciate him as
much as the rest of the world did.
He referred to the way the ladies had
shown their appreciation of his
''shape - said Col. Reddington had
consulted with him on the ex~pediency
of doubling the circulation of his
daily and, in fact, thought it would
pay Us better if we would pay him
more, as he thought in 1880 LIE would
cut quite a figure in politics. Seeing
plainly that the hat was at the bottom
of the whole affair, we gave the am
bilious boy a good talk. We told
him it all depended on how he sported
his new tile. If he carried himself
we'll under his new badge Of honor,
his salary should be doubled we told
him that Sunday should be the test
day; it all depended ON what we
thought Of the way he could carry
honor when conferred. He was sat-
isfed. He cooked his tile on the
back of his head, and walked out on
the street, thinking all the time that
every man In town was looking at
him, and wondering if he was to be
the next Presidents private secretary.
But it was just as WI thought. Sun
day did the business for him. Jim
sits pretty we'll forward in church, and
pretty we'll back at the theatre. Sum
day morning the church wss crowded.
He teetered along to the church, bal
ancing himself with his hands, which
! moved like the arms of an old ricketty
wind mill. He dldrnot look or feel
comfortable when he entered the
church. 1t was apparent to everyone
in the house, even to the old blind
man who sits in the back pew with
out a cushion, that it was Jim's first
attempt with a senator's tile. He
first held it by the brim, SO the crown
could tip gracefully over his arm, blu,
before he had taken three steps he
had knocked two ladies' hats off, and
punched a friend of his in the eve.
whose ''respo nse" was not according
to the gospel. He then turned it oyel
and carried it as he would a basket o
eggs. Several Of the congregation
thought it was the deacon passing
around the hat, and as he was passing
them by without giving them a chance
to contribute they pulled at his ooa1
tail. He thought they wanted to swol
hats, Or, in fact, rob him. So he pu
his eye on the pulpit, saying, "Ge
thee behind me, Satan,'' and pressed
on to the front, and laid his la
easily and tenderly down just outsid
of his pew. The gent behind him
being very much interested in tn
sermon, spit in the hat three or fou
! times before he noticed it. The ha
was then put forward in the next pew
, which was G.. B. Null's. G.. B. com
ing in late, sat dowa on it, crushin
Z all shape out CT the hat, and all lif
out of Jim's hopes for a raise in hi
salary. Jim called on &. B. Null i
a towering passion, and told him h
must have hat, blood or an apology
e An apology being the cheapest, M.
y Whispered" it in his ear. Jim no.
wears q three-cornered straw ha'
His hopes are colossal no more.