The Sunday herald. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1866-1887, 1880-11-14
A ROW IN A ROW.

neat two-soiy houses much alike that II Is dInout
10 tell ono from another.
one OF those houses was destroyed by IRE one night
and the owner and occupant OF another collected the
Insurance; he thought u was his house that was
burned. ON another occasion another owner bought
parlor carpet and paid FOR It, hut It was put down
In another house. aud the famiy It out before
the mistake was discovered. And one Fourth of July
mighty blast Of wind came sweeping down from
Meridian nm, and tore the roof on of one 81 these
houses, and several called meetings held by the
owners, hut they found II impossible to ascertain
which house was unroofed so they dccidcd-thc vote
was unanimous--to rcroof the whole row.
These things tended to confusion; but every ncigh
borhood has Its trinng drawbacks
There are two elderly maiden ladies In the Treasury
who had boarded at many different places, hut werc
not exactly suited, who thought II they could
rent snug little house and furnish II neatly thcy
would be MS happy rs birds; so they selected one OF
these houses, and bought their furniture from fur
niture- man the Avenue.
One Of these good women was named Amanda, the
the other Elizabeth. OF course Amanda called
Elizabeth Lizzie, :" and Elizabeth called Amanda
Mandy
In the same row there had been living hut few
days little fellow who Is down In the Interior,
named Bob wilkins. who has one Of the best wives
that ever stood In gaersa very tall, large, impetu
Gus woman. little fond Of scandal.
wheii the maldens moved In Mrs. wilkins whose
name Is Iizzie too kept her eye their effects, and
when she neat set OF walnut furniture carried
In. rs she had painted set only, she thought and
said that - them wlmn might be all right hope they
arcbut don't b'lleve they Just what they ort
be-" Although 1t was the first Of the month and
wash-day she went to several Of the neighbors and
expressed this opinion pretty freey so about 10
O'Clock tho whole row went TO bed thoroughly con-
WINGED that tho newcomers were In the wrong
neighborhood entirely.
nul, y,o
| attended meeting down town, and on his way home
he turned his collar up, pulled his hat down. stopped
at ADnor's. and drank Ave or six dozen beers, and
iotered along so slowly that he dd not reach the row
TN O'Clock. Beer always made him very persistent.
lie was little confused, hut finally found what no
thought was his house, and fumblcd for his night
key That he could not find, and he tried to raise the
| parior window, but broke PIANO with crash that
| aroused tho whole row.
Lizzie and Mandy were up stairs asleep, but the
noise awoke them, and they sat up In bed. "Whats
thatg'' asked Mandy. ''Robbers, " said Lizzie.
"Robbcrs!'' whispered Mandy; at may DO worse
han that,'' This was dreadful thought, 80 they
scrambled out OF bed to sec that their doors
were locked and then got into bed again, covered
| their heads and tainted.
| Bob, finding that he could not get In through the
window, began to pull the bell furiously and the
folks In the reached their heads out OF the win
dows to what the matter was.
Mahuy Saiu: " W ny, i.iZlic, u can't DO rODDers
they ringing the bell. SO Miss Lizzie ventured
to tho window and said: "who's therep" "why.
IT'S me, Lizzie dear ~ said Bob 81 forgot my key,
| my dear-let me inland haven't been drinking u
drop, my dear-not a drop" "what, sirp'' said
Miss Lizzie, completely thunderstruck. LET me
| In here. :" said Bol'. getting mad; "if You've got
nothing on, put on my slippers and throw something
around you; then you won't take cold. Don't stop to
put on your shoes and stockings" '.You miserable
monster, 60 away from here!' said Miss Lizzie, In
high dudgeon.
"why, my darling, said Bob, ''what do you
mean. talking to me in that wayP couldn't get
home before; the meeting has Just adjourned and
took the first car II you're all-red mad that you
won't come down. look about the for my night
key and drop 1t out the wnder-mebbe you'll find II
on the bureau or in my other pants hanging In the
closet behind your water proof; hurry up my darling
want to get to bed quck-it's cold as thunder ou
here
'.You owdacious wretchi III have you arrested
said Miss Lizzie.
"What!'' yelled Bob, '.have me arrested! Oh,
Lizzie. how can you talk to me that way? TO think.
sir " said he, to old gentleman In his night cap,
In anext-door window, that that woman should 6,
back on mel I've loved her for years and have sup
ported her like a lady, 'YOu haye2" asked tn,
old gentleman. eyes, said Bob, "l've sup.
ported her like lady, "And suppose You bought
all the furniture In the housep" asked the old fell
low. Everything, said Bob.
The old chap reached his head out Of his window
. little further and asked Miss Lizzie question: "I
he your husband, ma'amp''
, "No! I'm not marrIed,' snapped she. '.and
don't want to be and never viii be!''
''oh ho'' said the Old gentleman to his wife,
! 'that's what's the matter. l thought them wimir
looked suspicious. TN lodge \ complaint agalns
r them to- morrow.
There is peppery little who lived extdOOr
Oh the other side from the old gentleman who rammet
her head out of her window and said: "why dom
you let him inp I've got u sick baby. and II th
racket ain't stopped It. II die before morning.
"Why, ma'am, " said Miss Lizzie, ''he dom
belong here-I never saw nor heard of him before.
"Of course not" said the little woman, so
course not-brazen 1t out ma am, brazen 1t out! Nv
heard Of the likes Of you before! II there WASH
nobody around here listening to all this little perform
ance you wouldn't let him In then either, would you
n rna'amp No, Indeed you wouldn't'
Bob, becoming impatient, made big effort, burs
open the front door, left It open. and up stairs
It finding the bedroom door locked he forced that bl
Mandy and Lizzie had fled into the back room an
u bOited themselves In.
"LizzIe. my darling. ~ said Bob from the iron
room, talking through the door. ''what In the worl
!. Is the use Of you staying In there, poutingp VIII
don't you come to bed ?'' No answer.
"If you won't talk to me. why can't help 1t.
u couldn't get home before. came straight from tn
meeting and didn't stop nowheres and Just goIn
/, to bed, am. No answer so lie addressed and e
" Into bed.
~ amt going down there any more. my darling
l., The meetings hold In too late and We all talke
At we'll Nye to death, anyway II you Amt coming
bed, why III Just let the gas burn. and my gracor
alive but won't We have whopping big gas bil
It tile end of the mOnth2''
81 Not o word came In reply.
'c 81 say, my darling, won't We have thund' rim
billG'' No response. IAN right. then, my darling
II you won't talk to me- then won't talk to you-n,
q another wOrd my darling, because why2 II 70
don't want to talk to then don't want to talk
" you. Don't you hear mep" lie waited for a
! answer, hut none came.
30 "Well, my darling, you've got the bed warm M,
way, and II you won't talk To me- why won't tai
to you but you'll have the newmOneyer II you stay
a. that cold room. say yOu'll be sick II you sta
" IN there. Why In thunder don't you answer mo |!
ID This certainly was bad state Of AFFAIRS, and wor
was yet 10 come.
The neghbors had seen and heard BOb's fOrcib
entrance and hoped that that would end the disturb
ance, but slender married woman, with q sharp no.
and wart on her cheek, who lived door to Boil
a, said to Mrs. Bob: "Mrs. wilkins this Is Orful.
e. "Indeed Ia, =" replied Mrs. wilkins ''but kne
$. them wiinin was scandaious wmin when SEQ 'e
~ to-day" "But, Mrs. wilkins didn't 1t seem
~ ~ though his voice was kinder familiar?" "yel
40 familiar with them-very familiar, should say.
ms "Eo. no; ] didn't mean that, ma'am. Didn't
< seem as though You knew his voiceS" ~ shou
~ hope not. ma'am" 'Wsll, indeed, Mrs Wilkin
al hope yon'l pardon me II I'm wrong but II sonde
O. like Mr.. Wiikihs's voice to me -
~ ~ In about three seconds . tall large woman, In IN
is bare feet and dressed very lightly In whte strobe
he Of Bob's house. down the pavement, through In
he open door. up the stairs and stood the landing
ne Bob was talking; "If you won't talk to me,
II darling why won't talk to you, but you can be
II stubborn that you're bound not to to bed b
n NIGHT. What IN nm va w
No won't come TO bed why can't help It,
he "Yon can't, can't you - shrleked Mrs. B0
er bouncing into the room. "Oh, you little Imp,
IL orter choke you -
a. "what for. my darling, what for? Let no II
Ell hair what's up nowf Come 10 bod aud stop Il