Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-21
The COGKLEBURR CLUB.
4 New and Thrilling Story.

Since the time that the eStimable GEN
tleman had consented to act as Treas
urer OF our organization got embar-
raised and irregulated with the funds
thereunto belonging we have had no
regular meeting place. Because, since
the Sheriff so ruthlessly fired us out
into the street for non-payment of rent,
we have been unable until very recently
to find any one soft enough to give us
resting-place without our planking up
the rent in advance. But patience and
perseverance will accomplish wonders
in the financial as well as the animal
world; so we've again achieved local
habitation and name And we're not
going to give it away, either, for you to
go and post our landlord, perhaps.
As ali this scuffling round has brought
us to the verge of financial collapse, it
was resolved unanimously, at last meet
ing, that something should be done to
restore the late statu quo of our treas
ury. 1t was, to curtail an elongated
narrative, suggested that your servant
try to find buyer for his soul-thrilling
memoirs, entitled Confessions of a
Reformed Photographer" and donate or
lend the proceeds thereof to the club to
achieve its rehabilitation. Thereupon
the underwater proceeded to read the
manuscript for the edification of those
who hadn't had the pleasure of perusing
it, but before the second chapter was
reached [ found that at least half q
dozen COclleburrs imagined that they
were hit between wind and water. as it
were, and that the whole thing was only
a malignant, insldious exposure of their
little mental corns. By assuring them
that [ did not refer to them order was
restored, but before the fifth chapter was
reached the President, Col. Bungstarter,
Jumped to his feet and roared at me:
Why do you dare, sir, drag my family
skeletons to the light of day."
replied that I never dragged skele-
ton anywhere in my life.
"What do you mean, then, sir, by
your impertinent reference to odd Doc
zlebung?'"
"Why," I replied, Colonel, that's
purely imaginary character; I didn't
think there was a Doozlebung in the
wide world"
Didn't know Helena, Arkansaw I
LET you know now, then, that my wife's
sister married a Doozlebung, and I
don't intend to sit quietly by and hear
family troubles exposed; no, not even
to save the Cockleburr Club from the
dengue."
Further reading of the confession had
to cease, for it was evident that there
wasn't man in the room but was certain
that portions of the manuscript referred
directly to him.
Verify, the way OF the paragrapher is
hard. AS it was unanimously resolved
that the private peccadilloes and failings
OF the members of the club should not
be used as fulcrum to boost the fnan-
cial condition thereof, we had to cast
about for some other means to accelerate
the velocity of the air currents. Where
upon the undersigned, piqued at the
unceremonious manner in which his
cherished literary effort had been sat
down on, suggested that some one else
try his hand at the bellows for wind
raiser. After considerable discussion it
was decided that, whereas, it would take
too long to write a novel, or anything
else, single-handed; and, whereas, that
all were equally implicated in the affair;
and, whereas, that we possessed album
dant raw material-of the rawest kind.
too-for the venture; and, whereas, that
time and landlords wait for no man. it
was unanimously
ReSOlued, That the members of this club
each write one chapter, to the best of his abil-
ity, and according to his own style and his con-
ception of the exigencies of the case
Considerable ill-feeling was manifest
ed as to who should name the title or
block out the plot, and after much
wrangling it was decided that Col.
Bungstarter should name the offspring
as well as write the opening chapter.
Plot, there was to be none, each chapter
to be so beautifully rounded off that alb
sence of plot would not be noticed
The Secretary was directed to write
just what was dictated to him, as in Or
der to accelerate things the whole thing
was to go right along viva voce, begin
ming at the President and going on
down to the underwater, who was to
give all the brides away (and he never
gave girl away in his life), hang all
the villains and dispose of all the char