Morning journal and courier., 1880-04-05
CAUGHT SUNDAY.

A young lady of Hartford, who is partly deaf, is in the habit of answering ''yes" to everything whena gentleman Is talking to her, for fear he might propose to her and she not hear it.
 Respect for the court.-A young lawyer in Kentucky, when the judge decide q case against him, said to the court Well, now, I shall take the case to another judge, and let him make guess what the law is."
 Suppose" said Napoleon to Las Casas, ssthat the blocks came 13, 15, 14, in your box, what would you do ?" Lift out the Is, sire, and put it after the A." ''But would that be a solution of the puzzle p '"rhey all do it in that way, sire" replied Las Oasas. Puck.
 A boy ten years of age, who has an eager love of music, was permitted to attend the Grand Opera not long time ago. When his mother asked him what he thought of the performance, he said : ''It was the foolishest thing ever saw but it was about the best music ever heard" Thus spoke an honest critic md not bad one.
 recommendation and its resuts-sI say, old fellow, that tailor you recommended me is scamp. I sent him my overcoat to repair, and what do you think the rascal has done with it? Why, pawned it!" ''Yes, but that enabled him to get mine out of pawn-that's why recommended him to you. Now you recommend him to some other follow, and you will get yours back"
 The only time that oleomargarine success fully takes the place of butter is when it catch es fly and holds Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
 The Detroit Free Press gives the latest pug gle:
 Hard Eggs Boiled Man
 The trick is to get the eggs inside the man without breaking the shells.
 Two grammarians were wrangling, one contending that it was only proper to say, My wages is high" while the other noislly insisted that the correct thing was, My wages are high" Finally they stopped day Iaborer, and submitted the question to him. (Which do you say, Your wages is high, CT Your wages are high P" "Oh, off wid your nonsense" he said, resumiug his pick, Eyer naythur ov ye right; me wages is low, bad luck to 'em."
 the IimekiIn Club, as Elder Toots settled back for his usual nap, 'I war passin' up An toine street, an seed Outwatsr Smith 8 sit sin on de fence. In de airly winter passed dat way agfn an saw him huntin' de streets for wood. De odder day I had bizness wid him, an foun' de family out O fswel, out O provishuns, an wuss off fur clothes dan my ole COW ever was fur blanket. knew what would happen de fust time saw him roostin' on dc fence. I tell ye, culpd men, de man who roosts on de fence in de fawl will hug 8 cold stove an look into an empty cupboard all winter. Dis world owes no man a libln'. If any member of dis club has got dat ideah un- der his kinks he wants to woltop it out right away. What de world owes man, an what it giDs to ebery man, is a fair chance to airn his bread an butter. I h'ar people groanin' out dat luck is agin lem. Out upon luck If luck means anythin' it's steady work an takln care of de shillins. Oder folks am whinin' aroun' dat dey hev no show. No show in dis big world Why, eben de flies an skeeters hey a show! Ebery man has chance to reach up, but when he makes saloon his headquarters he's got to reach down. doan' go much on public charity myself, but when am gibin' I'd sooner gib to a wide-awake thief than to 8 whinin', complainin' loafer. De curtain will now be lifted on de reglar time table of bizness. Detroit Free Press.