Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1880-01-08
COMlCALIIIES.

u each hsnd.-Bvhngton Ha,okeye.
THERE is something in store for US all,
hut il takes money to persuade the clerk
to hand it out.-Rochester Ezpress.
WHEN thou drinkest, enter into the
nsntry and shut the door. Avoid the
rsllar, for potatoes have eyes.-Puck
A PEORIA woman sneezed her jaw out
Of place lately, and the married men OF
the place have been buying snuff ever
rce.-Boston Commercial bulletin.
Chow long shall girl be courted?"
ssks an English newspaper. Not later
than O clock in the morning, we think,
excepting when it rains.
THE old Quakers of Philadelphia make
four bites to every oyster, and they are
very particular to inquire if the oyster
is dead.
AN cid farmer who has rats in his eel.
lar, ard large family of boys to boot,
fnds it difficult to keep apples all win
ter.
MOONEY" SAYS Mr.. Talmsge, " is
golden-breas bird with silver beak."
Please give us a dozen of 'em broiled on
toast.
WHY fellow feels all at sea at his
own wedding, when he is standing up
with the girl is because he is marry'n
-Neao Orleans Picayune.
WIN you occupy the same bed at
hotel with 3 stranger, he's just. as sus.
picious as you are, and just as fearful OF
being robbed, 10 you might as well sleep
soundly.
ANOTHER American girl is to marry
nobleman. Why is it that our girls re.
fuse to support their own countrymenY
There is a lack of patriotism somewhere.
Atlanta Consultation.
MAMMA" Why, Poppet, all these
apples are bitten. Have you touched
them?' Poppet-" No, ma. But it
froze last night, and p'r'aps-p'r'aps
they're frost-bitten"
A LITTLE boy was sent to shop for
some eggs. Before reaching home he
dropped them. In answer to his mother,
who asked, did you break any?' he
replied "No, / didn't break any, but
the shells came of some of them"
WHAT is the difference between a
distinguished citizen and a person with
peculiarly bad sort of cold9 Why,
the one has influence and the other has
influenza.
"a sENsEs.TAKER,' said the old
lady: "Wsal, there's me an jeremiah,
an Sarah Ann, an that's all 'cept Jim,
sn' he's fool an amt got no, senses to
ke."--Oh CITY Derrick.
"WELL, there" said Spriggins, after
studying the war department. weather
map intently for Is minutes, II am
blamed if / believe there is any man
living that can make such shots as that
on any billiard table in the world"
A WET towel applied to the back of
the neck not only induces sleep, but
when you sleep you dream that your
uncle died and willed you the whole Bay
Of Biscay as a reward for your goodness.
Detroit Free Press.
In the neighborhood of La Veta, Cal.
there is small lake or pond called He'll
A young man in the burg, writing tc
his girl, says: "When you come, dar.
ling, bring your skates. He'll is frozen
over"
AN apology: "But, Freddy, how
could you ever think of calling aunty
stupid3 Immediately 60 to her and tell
her that you are sorry" Freddy goes
TO aunty and says: "Aunty, am sorry
that you are stupid"
A PENNSYLVANIA sheriff jumped
from railway train after prisoner and
turned fourteen somersaults, ten hand
springs, and tore down three rods of
fence, while the prisoner got away
Detroit Free Press.
" Is the Indian citizen?'' asks the
New York TINES. This question must
not be answered too hastily. Let US
consider whether we can rob him most
euectusily as q citizen, an alien or
"srd'-Etnaira Free Press.
a ooNCnrRD young lady, while airing
nei hn9Wleqge on various subjects, re-
Marked MARKED there smoothing madein vain"
lou are said youth standing near
nei' Am whatf' said she. Maiden
"s,n'" replied the smart boy.
LIE Importance of the newly-hedged
congressman when he returns home to
SalVe Inc Christmas turkey is awful to
pe9old. lie invariably addresses his
Hne as hr. Speaker, but perhaps in this
Nc Nc not very wide of the msrk.-N Y.
Commercial.
l.; Why do clumsy men always have
ulg ieet7" asks Mount Pleasant CORE
pohdent Oh, thou that 9uestioneth
nl'hout reason, to walk on. Did you
oppose ne needed them to comb his hair
nm OF that he used them to scratch his
Sck?-Ha,okey.
HEY have story at Lebanon of man
being directed to pillow straight
|fow directly toward where q COW was