The New Orleans daily Democrat., 1880-02-29
CURRENT HUMOR.
He who Mrs. to take a kiss
Has Mr.. thing he should not Miss

heimj's "j." y =
Lady (who wants to sit down)-"Will yor
ait in nv lap darliDRw DarlinR-"Sank you
I've dot cheir" "-IPunch.
The coolest OF cold weather In Dakota Il
described by the Philadelphia Chronicle az
having even frost-bttten the ears Of red
headed girl
an questionable quarter: "There's niet
idea! Building. a house In such street-a
new house, tool"
English girls never wear short dresses tt
let pretty feet be exposed to view. Perhaps
though X wearing short dresses would accom-
plish that result they'd do It,
VIII the compositor who get up ode to 9
about o'clock this afternoon and get nice
present. Kansas City Times.
It is sad to reflect that Washington, were ht
occupying the White House now, might incul
the enmity OF Mr.. Conkling by not appointing
the right sort OF poetmasters. s.-[Syracust
Herald.
Eighteen or twenty base ball players Will
season. Eighteen or twenty are not many,
but let us render hearty thanks Albany
Journal.
A bogus English lord cannot be traced up
and exposed on this side OF the water under
about four weeks, and this gives him time to
with q bridal tour.
The Chicago school board having decided
that teachers must leave the school when they
are married, the New Haven ReOister thinks
1T makes 1t very unpleasant for young men
who are looking for support"
Denver and Leadyile are beginning to be
rivals for the title OF metropolis Of Colora-
papers Of each city charge the girls Of the 9TH
er with having big feet. It's a sure sign.
When they have funeral In Leadville they
end 1t with q dance, and when they have a
dance they kill two or three men, and Of course
the remains demand funerals, so It's hard to
see why an undertaken shouldn't prosper In
Leadville.
1t is surprising that some of our enter
prising dramatists have not constructed q
scene In which a safe Is hoisted into fourth
story window. It talways draws big audience
In populons cities when the weather Is fine.-
New York Express.
While Gen. Grant is In Mexico he will have
country. that Is strongly opposed to q third
term. In fact, It is only about once In two
thousand years that q Mexican President Is
permitted to complete his first term.
Most Texas towns have only one ph ysician,
and when he hears that any one ls terribly
sek E he soes ssn sna ssds d DRINK sna
and gets run In by the polie& He knows the
sick mans friends Will pay Ms fine to get him
out.
The life OF Wisconsin woman was saved
by locket around her neck. the ball Of q
tramp fired at her striking II and glancinR off,
It's no use representing ~ your wife that an
old stove cover fastened I'd string around
the neck will cover more space and shed q
bullet just as well.
The ancient jlbe againAt the young lady
who was only "'PlscopAl pious" is now
matched by the story OF I'll interesting stran.
ger at cam .. meeting, whoSreplied to the usual
question asked by q young apostle Of the emo
tional school: "My dear young friend, nave
you got reli9ion2" "Ohl no, indeed, thank
you; I'm Presbyterian
shrewd revivalist laboring In Colorado
mining camp caused to be circulated the re.
port that another revivalist at q rival camp
had converted twice as many as he had, and
In two hours every man In his camp came for
ward to join the church. They weren't going
to let their preacher be beaten by those up
gulch fellows; not by q long chalk.
The Congre0ationalist repeats the story
which Gen. w. N. Armstrong tells Of pious
colored brother, loud In exhortation but ex-
ceediDgly shaky in morals, who was remon-
strated with by his employer for various
breaches Of law and order that brought scam
dal on the establishment. "Yes, boss" said
the culprit, II own squar up; Is done broke
cherry one OBJ de c'mandments; but, bress de
Lord, rs nebber lost my 'IigiOnp'