Louisiana capitolian., 1880-02-14
MARRIAGE REHEARSAL.

IuS JVuuS usssu ~Ou'.~6 ''S~ S.~.~
yesterday, and sitting down in front
Of the managing editor, "and call
npon you for aid and assistance"
The editor looked pointed at the
clock, and asked what he could do for
the visitor.
"Why, want you to hold up to
public scorn and detestation, 4 fellew
called Mooney, and a mean, red-head-
ed girl named Morrissey."!
''Scandal case, eh?"
"A heap sight worse. You see, I
was engaged to be married tO that
cirl-her names Maria-and DR..
Stone was to hitch US up the first Of
the month, so asked this mean cuss
Mooney, to be a grooinsnar."
"He consented, Of course?"
"You bet he did. You see, Mooney
has big black moustache and and
all that; and he's a good deal Of a
smasher, as it were. He said he'd try
to make it lively aud pleasant for the
bridesmaids"
"Anl did he r
"Why, he actually made love to all
four. Got the other groomsmen furi-
ous by flirting with the whole lot.
Told 'em it was the correct thing in
Europe for the grOomsmen to kiss the
bridesmaids all around, before aud
after the ceremony, and that they
ought to meet and practice to get the
thing in good running order"
Ibid they practice !" said the edi-
tor, laying down his pen. ''Did they7
Why, it was just disgusting the way
they went on every evening, To see
that villain Mooney pretend to steer
down the aisle and back up against
the chancel-rail, and then, when the
mock service was over, kiss and paw
around the girls, would have made
your hair raise. a foot. Why, he be-
gan flirting with my Maria-l mean
that Morrissey girl"
''Made love to the bride, eh 7"
"Exactly and she a-letting him do
it-mind you. Well, yesterday they
said they were going to have a fine
rehearsal that night, and to make the
thing more perfect, they inteDded to
get Bings, the young divinity student
to read the service. And as was
going over to Oakland with y load Of
furniture for our new house, Mooney
said he would officiate in my place.
"That was kind of him.
"But wait minute. When l got
back and called at Maria's house
about IL p. H., found all the party
sitting round the parlor and look
ing very serious, except the bride
whoseemed kinder frightened. "Wha'
is the trouble 2" said !; "what's hap
pened?"
"Well, the fact is" said that cheeky
Mooney, "There's been the most sin.
gular accident. the queerest mistake
you ever heard of in your life. You
see, we were rehearsing the service,
as usual, and / was a-holding Maria'i
hand just like this, when young Bing'
got sorter absent-minded, 80 to speak
and the first thing we knew he pro
! nounced us man and wife in the reg
. ular form, and he now says we ar
married in real earnest. Too bad
isn't it 7"
"Singular mistake" said the editor
"But the worst of it was the wa.
that false hearted hussey took it. .Sh'
.. said it was pretty hard, but wha
! couldn't be cured must be endured
and that she supposed they couldn'
: : get q divorce under q year, anyhow
! and a lot Of stuff like that"
) "'Peared resigned to her fate, as j
were" LiF
"Exactly; and then Mooney chippe'
! it with a lot of stuff about not cryin
;, over split milk, and he said he'd tax
' the furniture off my hands, and pa
u for the ring. Said he'd give his not
for 'em. Cheek? Why, that man ha
got more gall than a pawn broker
, clerk, and want you, Mr.. Editor. t
q show him and his red headed, big
d footed wife up the very worst wa!
g Accident, indeed! Why, it's tn
: plainest put up job ever saw in til
k whole course Of my life. Just let 'el
e have it in Italics, il you please, an
a I'll take 500 extra copies!"
The editor said he ID attend to it, an
has since written to Mr.. Mooney
= say that position as reporter was a
- - ways open to him on his go-ahea
~ ~ journal.
,, = Man. says Victor Hugo, was I'll
: conundrum Of the eighteenth centur.
~ woman is the conundrum of the nin'
q teenth century" An American I'd
tor adds: 1--WE can't guess her, B,
will never give her un~nO. never"