Litchfield enquirer., 1880-06-10
CLIPPINGS.
Millions in it-Rain.

Brains will tell; so will the absence of brains.
 For whom was. Eve made? For Adams Express Company.
 Littefeld is an appropriate name for the governor of Rhode Island. It is more dangerous to tread on unicorn than on any other kind. When a man is shot in Kansas they say he died natural death.
 Why is a Zulu belle like prophet of old ? Because she has not much oner in her own country. s-
 A Meriden man has Bible 142 years old Strange how long Bible may be made to last by temperate usage. The pitcher that goes often to the beer house is broken at last It is the same way with the catcher.
 The cashier of an eastern bank ran away with all the funds and the directors placarded the door ''No Cashier"
 Dudley Buck has composed new song en- titled 9The Proposal" It is probably written in the key of Be mine, ah ,"
 It's wIse man that can recognise circus fIom the description given on the advertising boards.
 Patrick on the zebra-"Phat kind of bast is that-the mule wid his ribs on the outside of his shkin entoirely?"
 A Kalamazoo hen has been laying an egg on which is the inscription: Beware of 8 third term President. 1880. War"
 All things are ordered wisely. No sooner does the grass get robust enough to soil light pants than the tailors begin making the arti- cle.
 "Mercy!" exclaimed an old lady upon first seeing an engraving of the passage of the Red sea by the children of Israel: mercy what family the man had"
 Student: The velocity of sound, compared with that of light, is SO little that. for exam pie, if you should be shot you would not hear the sound until you are dead for awhile.
 "Goodness [" said Parisian, when the bill for the expenses of his wiie's funeral-a little bill of six thousand francs-was handed to him, "I had almost rather that she had not died!"
 A poet sends us poem beginning "I gaze at the moon in the sky" That's right yonng man that's where to gaze at it. Don't try to gaze at it under the bed or in the weodshed chamber. Stick to the sky.
 The reason whi mankind makes SO many blunders is bekauz they attak things just az a ram dug, with all their fury and both eyes shut.-Josh Billings.
 The only difference between Izaak Walton and his disciples is this He used to catch fish and then talk about it, and they talk about in without doing the fishing.
 The way they do in Milwaukee is to fine wfe-whipper $5, and a mule -pounder $15. This puts woman where she belongs and every body is happy.
 . The man who thinks that boy can hoe in the garden while circus procession is passing is always the man who has front seat when the performance begins.
 The mule has met his match It was in Delaware. He kicked over a beehive. He died the next day The little bee is never too busy to accept an invitation to fight.
 A medical writer asks: ''Does position af- feet sleep?" And the Cincinnati Saturday Night says it does, particularly if the man is holding the position of night watchman. He is liable to be disturbed by the patrol.
 Dispatches from Chicago state that 'dele- gates to the national convention are arriving, and the hotels are rapidly filling up." Oh, the hotels are are they? An yes yes; well, that's all right; we were laboring under an erroneous impression then.
 "Ah, my darling wife, said George the week after his marriage, eff your husband were to die what would you do ?" II don't know, Pm sure, George, said the wife reflect lively, II never thought of that. must-l into my Book of Etiquette and read the-fules for young widows" -
 An old lady beard one of her daughters -in- laws callers say: My father was an ambi- dexter" After the visitors departure the ls- tener expressed her indignation by saying: ''rhat stuck-up hussy was lying all the time. knew her father year in and year out, and his name was Smith,"
 A little boy in a Sunday school put a poser to his teacher. The lady was telling her class the first-born of each household to be slain. fine little boy listened attentively At the proper interval he mildly inquired, "What would god have done if there had been twins ?"
 wag brought horse driven by a young man to stop in the street by the word
 Nubu, anu Sdlu tO Il6 urlV6r, udCS a fine iioise you !'ave there." Yes" answered the young man, "but he has one fault He was formerly owned by a butcher, and always stops when he hears ca If bleat"
 An lrishnan who had pig in his possession was observed to adopt the constant practice of filling it repletion one day and starving it the next. On being asked his reason fer doing so, he replied: "Och. sure, and isn't it that 1 like to have bacon with strake O fat and a strake O lean equally, one after t'other?"
 A minister was questioning his Sunday school concerning the story of Eutychus the young man who listening to the preaching of the apostle Paul, fell asleep, and, falling down, was taken up dead. What" bs said, do we learn. from this solemn event ?" when the reply from little girl came pat and prompt, Please. sir ministers should learn not to preach too long sermons"