The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1880-08-25
Mr.. SpOOpendyke's Prayer-BOOk.

"Now, my DEAR" said Mr.. Spoopen-
dyke, cheerfully, {" be lively. It's twenty
minutes past ten, and we mustn't be
late at church. Most readyP"
Eyes, DEAR" beamed Mrs. Spoopen-
dyke. I'm all ready. Got every
thingP'
I" T think so. Hymn-book, umbrella
and where's the prayer-boOkp I
haven't got the prayer-book,
"Where did you leave itp" asked
Mrs. SDoopendyke, turning over the
volumes on the table hurriedly.
eff / knew where / left it I'd strut
right to that spot and get it," retorted
Mr. Spoopendyke. ' 1 left it with you.
Where did you put itP Can't you re-
member what you do with thingsP"
q haven't seen it since last Sunday"
retorted Mrs. Spoop3ndyke, family. 81
know" she continued "perhaps it is
at church"
"Perhaps it is" mimicked Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke; perhaps it got up early, took
a bath and went ahead of us. Did you
ever see q prayer-book prowl off to
church all aloneP Ever see a prayer,
book hist up its skirts and strike out
for the sanctuary without an escortP
S'pose prayer-book knows the differ
ence between church and ham sand
wichP Where did you put itP"
''I mean you may have left it in the
pew-rack. You know you did oncep"
suggested Mrs. Spoopendyke.
81 didn't do anything of the sort.
brought it home and gave it to you.
Where do you keep itP What did you
do with itP S'poSe I'm going to swash
around through that service without
knowing whether they are doing the
apostles creed or an act of CongressP
Spring around and find it, can't youP
What are you looking there forP Don't
you know the difference between n
prayer-book and the Wandering Jewp
Find it, can't youP"
"Never mind it, DEAR" fluttered Mrs.
Spoopendyke; 81 know all the responses,
and I'll help you along"
"Oh, yes, you know 'em all. What
you don't know about religion wouldn't
wad a gun. All you want is a bell and
q board fence to be theological semi
nary. Think you can find that prayer
book between now and the equinoctial?" ?"
howled Mr.. Spoopendyke. Got any
idea whether you sold the measley thing
| for china vases or stirred it into the
wheat cakesP Have been chawing
divine grace all the morningP Where's
! that prayer-bookP Going to get the
|
come to passP" and Mr.. Spoopendyke
| plunged around the room, tumbling
books about and breathing heavily.
81 don't see the use of making such a
| fuss over thing you don't really need, "
sobbed Mrs. Spoopendyke through her
| indignant tears.
"Oh, you don'tP" raved Mr.. Spoopen-
| dyke. You don't see any use in put
ting things where they belong, do you?
How dye s'pose I'm going to keep up
with religion without a prayer book?
How dye s'pose I'm going to know
when it's my turn to show what Chris
tianity has done for me, unless you can
find that dod-gasted book between now
and the resurrection" and Mr.. Spoop-
endyke spun around on his knee like a
top, and knocked over Parian jar.
= 'Wait minute, my DEAR" said Mrs.
Spoopendyke, looking at him earnestly.
Then she went behind him and fished
out the prayer-book.
SCOT it, didn't youP" he growled.
Had it all the time, s'pose. Where
was it, anyways"
In your coat-tail pocket, DEAR" and
Mrs. Spoopendyke jabbed the powder
putin her eyes, and stalked downstairs,
leaving her liege lord to follow.-Broob-
Ign Eagle.