Richland beacon. [volume] (Rayville, La.) 1869-1890, 1880-05-29
NUMBER %
PASSING SMILES.

GANpINW NWAh"'s
THE Guinea hen talks too much to be
a good layer New Orleans Picdynnf.
A REMARK that always provokes
"smile p" What will you takeS'
A"FIREMAN wants to know how I"
prevent hose from bursting. Don't
wear EN-.
"WHoM shall we marryT" asks an
exchange. II you are man you Will
marry woman.
In use of sounding words men are
quite rash. They talk Of mystery, and
mean but bash.
EVE came silently into the world on
the first mans sleep year. She saw
him and Adam at once.
! THE man who hesitates is lost, but
the woman who hesitates gets fresh
grip on her side of the argument.
THE Sunday Herald has long article
entitled "FrOude on Bunyan." We
congratulate Mr.. Froude that the bunion
is not on him.
THE difference between a church or
ganist and the catarrh is said to be that
/ the one knows the stops and the other
stops the nose.
A COUNTRY editor has written to his
member OF Congress that they must re-
move the tariff from paper pulp, adding
that he will get on tariff! they don't.
AN observing butcher has discovered
that the man who can get along with
the least amount of meat is the one who
insists on having the gratuitOus liver.
ANEGRO ergazing at some Chinese,
shook his head and sOlemnly said: "If
de white folks be 80 dark As dat out dar,
! wonder what's de color Oh de black
fOlks?'
The most interesting letter in the al
phabet that We could ever appreciate is
a kissing B.-Yes, and as we have said
before, it is the sweetest How can we
letter b?
MASSACHUSETTS deacOns 60 out on
Sunday morning in sprinh in search of
the dainty and coy little trailing AZ
butus and take home handkerchief
full Of brook trout.
A MICHIGAN girl has been arrested
for carrying revolver. That is right.
No female should he allowed to wear
bangs in her hip pocket Philadelphia
Chronicle.
FEW BARRIERS shave their own faces.
This is explained by the perfectly rea
sOnable fact that no barber is foolish
enough to make himself the voluntary
victim of his own stories.
1T ia estimated that there are four
million unmarried women in this coun.
try. Every one Of them looks under
the bed previous to retiring, however,
and hopes to find man some time.
wAS may mash the stove and things,
And black fond wifes eye;
And she may pound him with a club,
But true love cannot die.
THE New England Farmer inquirea.
"What cows should farmers keep"
Fubbs suggested that they thould keep
their own, az serious inconvenience
often arises from q propensity to keep
those belonging to other folks.
"JCE is ice. this year," exclaims an
exchange. We make note of the fac.
for fear that our readers may have
formed the Impression that it was mo-
lasses candy, or hash, or even baked
beans. 1t is best not to let this COM
mun:ty grow up in darkness.
MANS lot is not happy one. No
sooner il he free from his mOther's
apron strings and slipper than he be-
comes the slave of some tyrant in pink
and white and maxries. His wife then
bosses him until a baby comes along.
aud then the baby bosses the whole
family.
A CONTEMPORARY contains long
article entitled "The Effect OF Smoking
on Boys" It is not right to smoke on
bows. II imparts disagreeable OdOr to
their clothes, and when they 80 home
tl,sv arouse suspicion, in the minds OF
their mothers which are difficult to
eradicate.
Chow many glasses did the Herr
Doctor drink, Gretchen?' asked Ger
man landlord Of his daughter, on his
guest leaving the cellar. Eight,
father" replied the girl. "Tbe ras-
calw exclsimed the irate host. why,
he gave me strict orders never 70 dr'nS
more than three" .. .-.. ..,
Two young men we're pa sing farm
house where farmer was trying to
harness a mule. won't he drawn
said one of the hOrsemen. "Of course
he will" said the farmer. He draws
the attention Of every fool that Tasst'.
"MOTHER" ssid the seven-year.oid sOn
OF an energetic mother not a thousand
miles from Rochester, the other day, as
he watched her vigorous maniPu'atitn
of kitchen utensil, you ought not "a
90 to heaven"
"Wby not, my SON.! in a surrriz'd d
manner.
"Because you would wear out your
harp before eternity was half over" wa
the quiet reply of the young rhiloso
pher.