Morning journal and courier., 1880-02-04

GNO" eooAA wa. -AA AA~NNAS Walk forth in the sunlight To greet the sweet Tyre. And the sweet little elfs Will tune up their mtes, To give grand welcome To the myriad galoots who think they can write poetry, but who don't know hexameter from 8 horse-clippng machine. New York Express. The rabbit is timid, but no cook can make it quaiL-Springfeld Republican. An exchange softly says of 8 defaulter i: stHe admits gap of $2, ,O00 between himself and creditors"
 A silly woman in fine dress bears very
 strong resemblance to 8 fifteen cent dahlla in $2 flower pot.-Kansas City Times. The colored gentleman who said he was engaged in mining operations was forced to admit that it was kalso- mining. Post. Enterprising merchant, to solicitor of ad- vertisements: q don't think we care to do
 anything today" Enterprising solicitor
 'sWeI, sir, if you don't want to pay cash, why we'll take a terrier pup"
 An Oil City Irishman, having signed the pledge, was charged soon afterward with hay | ing drank. ''Twas me absent-mindedness, :" said Pat, 'san' a habit I have of talkin' wid meself said to meself sez I, Pat coon in an have drink No, sir,' sezI Tvesworn off Thin I'll drink alone,' sez to meseh. An I'll wait for yez outside sez I. An whin meself cum out, faith an he was dhrunk. "- Oil City Derrick.
 The question is frequently asked, ''Why are ministers sons so much worse than the sons Of | other men ?" Because, perhaps, being aware l that their papas are deterred by their calling l from becoming acquainted with the many | forms of naughtiness extant, they wish to give | the reverend gentlemen the best secondhand experience that it is in their power to bestow.
 ! If that is not the right answer, our second guess is, because they are not.-Boston Tran script.
 But one month has scarcely closed, and yet Philadelphia girl is already disgusted with | leap year. The other evening as she began, "Win you" her young man, without wait | ing to ascertain whether or not she was going to propose, sprang from the sofa, leaped through the sash, and has carefully avoided | the house ever since. And yet, aware that she possessed very large mouth, she was merely about to ask, tsWill you please shut your eyes while I gape ?"-Chronicle- Herald.
 A hard-shell Baptist preacher was on an Ala bama river steamer in the old days of racing. The captain seeing a rival boat half mile ahead, began to curse, and ordered tar, plne- knots, bacon. etc., to be thrown in, to klndle the fire as hot as possible; and as the steam got higher and higher, the fatalist1c preacher edged his way farther back on deck The jolly captain, seeing this, tapped him on the shoulder and said: 'tHallo, Brother H. l l thought you was one of them fellers what be- l lieves that what is to happen will happen. 'sSo do," said the preacher; ''but I'd like to be as near the stern as possible when it does happen!"
 He was young fellow in the hardware line. One day, when the boss was at dinner, & countryman came in to buy some nuts. He I found an article that suited him. and wanted a dozen. Young Blakie looked at the price A.I five cents dozen, thirty off," He gave a l low, inverted whistle, and then, with a sudden | inspiration, he handed the customer five cents and told him he could buy the nuts at the other store. By George" he said, when he was telling the Governor of the \ transaction, ''I thought the best thing could ] do was to save the nuts, anyhow."-Burling- ton Hawkeye.