Clarksville weekly chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1873-1890, 1880-11-13
Tlhe Poet ana the Editor.

The poet ana the Editor.
While Col. Bangs, editor of the
Argus, was sitting in the Office one
day, a man whose brow was clothed
with thunder entered. lFiercely
seizing chair, he slammed his hat
on the table, hurled his umbrella on
the floor, and sat down,
"Are you the editor ?'' he asked.
HYes.v
l'Can you read writing?'
"Of course"
"Read that, then, !" said he, thrust
ing at the colonel an envelope with
an inscription on it.
b" said the colonel, trying
'"That's not a B; it's an s." said
the man.
is? Oh, yes, I see. Well, the
words look like Salt for dinner
said the colonel.
."No, sir" replied the man, "noth-
ing of the kind. That's my name,
Sam'l III. Drummer. knew you
couldn't read. called to see. about
that poem of mine you printed the
other day, on the s'Surcease of Sor-
"Don't remember it," said the
colonel.
t'Of course you don't, because it
went into the paper under the in
famous head of 'Smearcase TO-mor-
row."
ga stupid blunder of the compos-
itor, | suppose"
"Yes, sir; and that's what want
to see you about. The way that POI
EN- was mutilated was simply scan
dalous. haven't slept a night
since. 1t has exposed me to deris-
ion.. People think / am an ass. Let
me show you"
SEQ ahead,n said the colonel.
"The first line, when | wrote it,
read in this manner:
Lying by a, weeping willow, underneath
gentle slope.
That is beautiful. poetic, affect
ing. Now, how did your vile sheet
present it to the public? There it
is. Look at that. Made it read in
this way:
Lying to a weeping widow, to induce her
to elope.
Weeping widow, mind you! A
! widow! This is too much-it's
enough to drive man crazy
81 am sorry" said the colonel;
! but"
"But look a-here at the fourth
verse;" said the poet; that's the
worst yet. What | said was:
Cast thy pearls before the swine, and lose
them in the DUST
1 wrote that out clearly and dis
tinctly, in plain, round hand.
Now, what does your cOmpOSitOr
do? Does he catch the sense of that
beautiful sentiment ? Does it sink
into his soul? No, sir he sets it up
in this fashion
Cast thy pills before the sunrise, and love
them If they hurt
Now, isn't that FLOODED
outrage on a mans feelings? PHI
leave it to you if it isn't.
"It's hard, that's fact,' said the
colonel.
"And then take the fifth verse.
In the original manuscript it said,
plain as daylight:
4 Take away the jfngling money; it is only
/ glittering dross.'
A man with only one eve, and a
cataract over that, could have read
the words correctly. But your pi-
rate up stairs there-do you know
what he did? He made it read:
Take away the jeering monkeys on the
glandered hoss.'
By George! l felt like Draining
him with a shovel. was never so
cut up in my life."
ut was natural, too" said the
/ colonel. .t
''There, for instance, was the sixth
verse. l wrote:
Il am weary with the tossing of the ocean
1t is lovely line, too; but imagine
my horror and the anguish of my
family when l opened your paper
and saw that line transformed into ::
Il am wearing out my trousers till they're
opened at the knees
That is little too much! That
seems to me like carrying the thing
an inch or two too far. / think l
have a constitutional right to muir
SANA NAleAt NOiAl pOoAAOis bOiA yOu
81 think you have"
/ "Let me read you one more verse.
I wrote:
Il swell the flying echoes as they roam along
the hills,
And feei my soul awaken to the ecstacy
that thrills
Now what do you suppose your
miserable Outcast turned that into :?
Why, into this:
4 swell the flying echoes as they roam along
the bulls,
And feel my soul mistaken in the ecstaey
that whirls.'
| Gibberish, sir, awful gibberish!
l must STAY that man. Where is
he?"
Hes cut, just now" said the
colonel. "COme in tomorrow"
\ 81 WILL" said the poet, "and l
will come armedp ...-.. .......s
Then he put on his hat and shout
dered his umbrella, and drifted off
down stairs.