The Albany register. [volume] (Albany, Or.) 1868-18??, 1880-11-19
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in herbs to give sage advice.
It is not whisky THAT makes nj
drunk, it is bis inability to carry it
Toledo claims citizen who pour
hot water down his wife's back because
she won't Join his church.
Partridge is the name of PROMINENT
Southern divine. Is he bird of prey
A man is a perfect brick when he
shows himself ali the better for being
hard pressed.
$50 much for bucking ham," as ths
Chicago man remarked after drawing
check to settle his losses in the pork
deal.
The Philadelphia Chronicle is doubt.
less correct when it asserts that the
fair seq cares more for pickles than for
poliiics.
As street-car conductor took ru-
raj passengers money the other day.
he called it an agricultural fair.
A printers wife always puts the baby
in s'snall caps." ."-Nesc York Nesoe.
After short the primer succeeds the,
small caps.
MARK where he stands" az the shoe-.
maker said to his assistant, while TAX
lug the measure of customers foot.
..He was kind parent. good citi-
zen, and had three horses that could
beat 2 !: 3O'' is considered about the
right thing for ali obituary III Keuthcky.
When the shopman seizes son warm
ly by the hand as you enter his estab-
lisliment, yon readily understand what
is meant by a pressure of business.
Exrerimental philosophy - EouIdn't
you lend me doila. 80 Natural
philosophy-sHayen't a cent tospare !''
Physicians now say that the telephone
is injurious to the ear. We presume
it is the strain of the listening and
hearing nothing that does the harm.
An Ohio girl sued man for breach
of promise. and proved him such .
mean scoundrel that the jury decided
that she ought to pay him something
for not marrying her.
A wellknown actress, being charged
the otier day with using pearl POWDER.
replied that without it she would be..
"beyond the pale OF civilization"
We have received a work entitleds
sthe importance OF style In penman-
Ship We shall in the future,s wear
kid gloves, white cravat and . silk
cravat and silk hat, while engaged
in writing.
"CaHtatrice"-Yes, "Bliss forever
past" is good song and suitable TO
your style Of beauty. We do not know
Why Bliss passed, but probably ne,
never could fill his hand.
"Woman naturally shrinks from.
exposing the sad passages in her life
to the world,'' says Ruskip. This IL,
true. The nnst smiling face at the.
party often conceals q broken bustle...
Consoling Poor author ssHeav-
ems, what pain there is in my head pa
His wife Complaining Of that
You ought to be thankful there Is.
anything in it.''
During bis recent visit to Hamilton,
the Marquis OF Lorne was treated to
fifteen minute address in ancient Gaelic.
He IS now prepared for . visit from
his mother-in-law.
"Never borrow trouble" said ..
husband to bis wife. s0h, let her
borrow it if she can," exclaimed the
next.door neigi,bor s'she never re-
turns anything, You know"
ssWhat are yonr politics ?'' the chap
lain Of the penitentiary asked an in
telligent looking convict. 81 have.
not come ont for anybody yet replieds
the convict, gazing placidly through
the bars.
It isn't necessarily the men who.
come prominently to the front 10 times
Of excitement that are the leaders Of
the people. The rudder that directs
the ships course always keeps modest
ly ia the rear.
The New Orleans Ricayssse says
that when a young man returns from
summer tour without his trunk ron
may know he has had trouble with
some Of tie rascally hotel.keepera on.
the road.
A beautiful girl ia Moline,
Whose hair was silvary sheen,
Bought an swful red bang
On her toreT ead % hang,