The Russellville Democrat., 1880-12-16
A westerner Searching for Society.
Washington Post

man, as he alighted from the tram at Manhattan beach, "what l want to see is some of your boasted civilization. I ain't much on the swell myself, but 1 want to see some top-shelf society. That's what I want. Now just parade your Astors and your Vanderbilts and your Jay Goulds and your knlckerbockers and the other ancients right before my presence. Don't be any way skeered of me. These clothes only cost $15, and Pm no way stuck up. 1 want to see some tone Cut me thick slice of high life. I comea long piece to see the fash ionables, and if they're in condition just pull eff the blankets and trot em for ! ward"
 "Is there any thing I can do for you?'' asked the manager courteopsly, noticing the crowd gathering.
 Right, you can, stranger. 1 come morn bushel males to see this climate, and 1 want the attractions spread so l can examine the layout. l can throw some money myself, but what I want to see is style. Tell lem no. to hide on my aceocnt. Just walk some of the digni- taries up and down before me couple of times. I want to see their points Fetch me out couple of well matched high-steppers ani give 'em their heads , "All the people you see around you, sir, are first class people. They move in our highest circles, and belong to the aiistocracy," explained the manager. Are you giving 1t to me straight, part ner? All these fellows way-ups? Who's the philosopher with his brooches tuck ed in his socks?"
 That's Yale young gentleman come on vacation"
 q don't want that kind. Show me a high daddy, one of lem that gets their name in the paper for going to whooping wedding, and is called the elight. Pick me ont some Astors. That's the trout I'm throwing for"
 "I don't think any of Mir. Astor's fam fly are here today. That stout gentle man with side whiskers belongs to one of the first families in New York. He is a very popular young man, and leads in the germans"
 "Ain't big enough. Haven't you got a couple head of Vanderbilts or Jay Gould or So anywheres? You see, stranger. I've read about these fellows and I'd like to greet 'em with cordiality. What 1 want is to wabble fins with the satin lined. That Yale man and the | DOSS itg siluScI III tuc DltCn lduudBSO, ain't new. We see them home when they string for tourists. Pm on the soarers. Throw your pickax, and see if the wash don't pan better dirt. Strikes me your rock don't assay very we'll this evening. Where's the mob?"
 "These are the best people know of to. day" said the manager is despair. MT. Vanderbilt is not here, nor IS MT. Gould"
 "Ain't you got any Knickerbockers on stock? You'd make out 10 starve in Denver. if you wasn't interfered with, partner. When a man throws himself for hoteler in those parts he keeps the hiei.-toned population right out in front and showed up behind. You don't seem to have much experience in running a beef-a- la-mode rancbe. Just begun, haven't you? If was in your place I'd have them Goulds and Knckerbockers and Vanderbilts and Astors ranged right along the front edge of the back stoop, spitting at chip for drinks and the first one that broke gravel would pay his bar bill or go home bareheaded; now you hear me. What you want, stranger, is enterprise. All you've get is shed and some water, and if your liquor ain't any better'n your judgment, I'm going back dry"
 "You will find everything first-class here, think" argued the manager. "We aim"
 "Just so, chief, but you don't hit. You aim too low. You've got room here to hold the biggest bug that ever straddled blind, but there isn't card out high. er'n an eight spot. reckon you play ! pool without the iitteen."
 "Would you like to try something? asked the man, anxious to dispel the | grinning crowd.
 You might fetch me one, and these gentlemen a little tan bark, if it's good 1 don't want any stock which the share 1 holders are responsible for the debts but if you've got any symphony in C major, I'll wrap up cartridge with you stranger"
 "Join me in the bar room," said tho manager, nervously.
 Good stake of for junction. Gen ! tlemen, me and the engineer are goins for the doxology. Will you jine us?"
 They tined" and the manager order ed refreshments and left, despite ths entreaties of the gentleman from Denver that he would "introduce hlm to ths ladies, such as they were, and he woule forego the top-liflers until he (the man ager) had run along the vein to tho ! prospect of paying clean up."
 Did You Know It9
 Some people suffer for years from veal kidneys and tOrDid bowels and liver.