The Osceola times., 1880-03-13
CREAM OF TIE MAILS.
Nuggets of wit and Wisdom from N.
Exchanges.

bunch of flowers,
4 book or two
little billing,
A little COO
little coming,
And soing, till
They go 10 church
And say: 81 wlll."
And that ends it.-iSdiem Sunbeam.
Young man, you're wrong.
You surely are
You worked that rhyme
Just one too far.
lends right there
OH no. IL don't,
For coming home
She says: II WON'T
And that begins it-Eimird Gazette.
Mary. we shall miss you,
Gone will be your pleasant smile;
Had the oil can been much larger,
You'd have gone about mile
PLEASE SEND YOUR ADDRESS,
If the young lady who wrote us these
lines beginning.
Iluv the twinklin III stars
| Inv the bluey sky;
For | kno well there'i be mi home
When go up sky high
will send us her address, she will receive
by return mail two pounds of arsenic,
with full directions for taking. One
sweet singer of wishy-gush' is enough
in the same century. Memphis ippeoi
GONE TO GLORY.
The Western lady who read in a
newspaper that baking powder wasa
good thing, thought she'd bake some.
and the old man, on arriving where the
cabin had stood, said he wouldn't mind
the affair so much if she'd let the dog
out before blowing herself and tine prom.
erty to glory in that stylc.-Bostoa
Post.
WANTED TO SEE HER sALTED.
The mysteries of baby's toilet were
altogether new TO little iour-year-old
and he carefully watched the bathing
and dressing of his little cousin When
the little powder-boN was open and the
fluffy brush was about to he used under
meath the baby's chin, he exclaimed
ooh, aunty, let me see you salt her.
Neg Haren Register.
THE PROPOSED AMENDMENT.
The Boston Herdid amends the pro-
posed amendment 10 the Constitution Of
the United States, prohibiting any citi.
zen from bequcathing more than S50O0
10 any one person; it is this. Every per.
son shall have fifty thousand dollars be.
qucathed to him The Amendment
as amended, would be immensely popu-
lar.
ME BOOM.
A soft boom turneth away wrath. but
grievous booms stir mp anger. \ boom in
the hand is worth two in a bush \ roll.
ing boom gathers no moss. Booms Of
feather flock together. Boom not, that
We be not busted. Boom unto Others as
ye would that they should boom unto
you, etc.-KanSas CGg Times.
LIVER PADS VS.. MUSTARD rLAsrERs.
There is no rivalry between the excel.
sior kidney pad and the regular liver
pad. Thank heaven there is room
enough for both, but it is well enough to
say that the mustard plaster must give
way entirely, or take a back seat.-Giob
Democrat.
LET'S TAKE SOMETHING.
There came very near beng pane in
a Chicago theatre night before last. A
man arose between acts and said, "e.ome
John, let's 90 out and take something"
and half the male audience in the par
quette got up and said they would.
MARY's SCOTCH soLEs.
If it hadn't been for the Scotch soes
on Mary Anderson's shoes, she'd have
gone through trap door Of a Baltimore
theatre last week. As It was, one OF the
heels got wrenchcd of and fell through
the flooring to the cellar with terrible
crash.-Kdnsas Ciy Times
"A MOUSE INDEED.
Arabella ION her toes m a chair. clutch
ing convulsively at her skirts:) 90, Bri-
dgetl A mouse, a mouse. Come and
catch it quick?" Bridget: "Sure, mum,
there's no hurry. If tins one gets away,
| can catch plenty more for yer mum.
AN AGGRAVATED CASE.
hleptomania was never more aggfayd-
tedlv exhibited than in the case Of the
young Louisville thief who, upon being
sent to the city Jail, deliberately took the
mumps from his cell mate.
The Scourgc Of Mankind.
y, y. Times.
l. a.