The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1880-08-06
Qllips.

STEAM is a servant that sometimes
blows up its master.
A WATCH fitted with a second hand
need not necessarily be a secondhand
watch.
"No, DON'T care for shad to-day! !"
said an art-patron, muslngly. Sup
pose you give me bass-relief."
How TO prevent rash breaking out in
children-Take half pint of the best
malt vinegar, and-put rod in it.
MY cousin, whom 1 sent you last
week, doctor, is an imaginary invalid,
isn't he ?" "Of course he is. The fell
low has a constitution which deties all
our remedies"
"YoU promised to pay this bill yes
terday," said an angry creditor to n
debtor. YES" calmly replied the
other "but to err is human, to forget
divine, and L forgot it,"
"SEE here, George" said a fond
mamma to her little son, as they walked
on the beach, "what lot of nice little
round stones" eyes," grumbled
George, as he cast searching glance
around, "and not blessed thing to
throw 'em at.
'DoN'T you dare to kiss me once,n
She cried with blazing eyes
At John, who felt himself collapsed
TO half his usuai size.
~ won't" he said, please pardon me,
And / will be so nice -
She smiled, and said, " Dear john didn't
Say you shouldn't kiss me twice."
"How FAR is it to Club creek ,"
asked traveller of Dutch woman.
Oh r.,
four, six, eight, or ten miles ?" impa-
tiently asked the stranger. "Yas, L
dink it is, serenely replied the unmoved
gatekeeper.
In the hour of danger woman thinks
least of herself" said Nine. de Stael.
True When the thunder roars and the
vivid lightning flashes, and the big drops
come down, the woman who is caught
out in the storm devotes her agony to
the thought that her hat and dress will
| he ruined.
SOME little girls in a Brooklyn Sun
day school were studying the history of
| David. the passage for the day being
that which describes the shepherd boy
victory over Goliath. The teacher asked
the question, Now, can any of you lit
tie girls tell me who killed the giant /? "
| Quick rs thought one of the smallest re-
sponded, "Jack."
OH CITY Derrick: The minister
stopped at house on the South Side
last week, and sought to improve the
time by giving an S-year-old boy an in
structive lesson in morality. "My boy" "
said the minister, q have lived IS
years, and have never used tobacco in
any form, nor told lie, nor uttered an
oath, nor played truant, nor "Gim-
miny crickets " interrupted the lad,
eyer amt had any fun at all, have ye? "
THERE was an embarrassed young man
at Bowling Green, Ky, who escorted the
preachers fair daughter to church on
Sunday night and arrived late, to hear
the reverend gentleman read from the
Bible as the couple marched up the
aisle : my daughter is grievously tor
mented with devil, which verse oc-
ours in an account of a New Testament
miracle. The congregation smiled, and
it would be hard to tell which felt worst,
| the preacher, his daughter, or her escort.
atlanta Constitution.
| - WAS IL "A waiting bird of the gloom
| Which shrieks on the house of woe all night
Or a shivering fend that few to a tomb,
To howl and feed till the glance of light?
! Twas not the death-brd's cry from the wood,
Nor shvering fend hat hung in the blast /"
| Twas only my night-shirt-stout ana good
Aud it tapped on the line as the storm rode past.