, 1880-08-23
Josh Billings Philosophy.

Josh Billings fnllOsOphy'
The philosophers hav no intimates.
In dealing with human natur they are
obliged to step on everybody.
Poverty will show the strength ova
mans karakter, riches the weakness ov
it.
A CRATE pedigree liz an unprohtable
thing to hav left us, we are entitled 70
no kredit for it, and are held RESPONSE
BILE for. its safe keeping.
If virtew il its own reward, wicked
ress must be its own punishment.
Opportunitys are game birds. and II
they are got, they must be got on the
wing.
never hav seen spendthrift yet,
who waz not at times a mizer.
The bottom round ov the ladder, II
it is we'll filed, il just az h onorable az
the top one. and IL heap safer.
It il better to study one book than
to read menny.
If thare il no hereafter, reason IL h
fraud, and instinkt failure.
He who IL allwuss sticking hiz noze
into futurity, must not be snrprized If
he gifts snubbed often.
No one luvs a traitor, and least 0v
all, those who profit by the treason.
To work u the gratest ov blessings.
If food and raiment and shelter could
he had without labor, the human raco
would run cut in ten generashans.
Neither a mans money nor hiz repu-
tashun kan be akurateIy summed up
until he is ded and buried.
The less branes man hax, provided
they are the right kind, the better he liz
adapted for Dizziness.
The coxcomb, dandy, and fop are
one and the same thing, and about the
only thing you kan say ov them Il, that
they are ov the maskuline gender.
Thoze who hav the most pride are
the first to diskover pride in others.
! Ii we should analixs the prayers VIC
offer up to Heaven, We would find that
vanity and self-interest predomlnates
in them.
Habits are good, bad and Indifferent,
and in most men the Indifferent iz the
most plenty.
Demokrasy Il a sweet-savored word,
| but thare amt no such thing. The
most terrible axis that hav ever been
kommitted in this world hav been dun
under cover ov religion nd demok-
rasy.
When yu kant find one man who kan
govern himself, how kan yu expekt to
find one hundred who kan govern each
other.
think thare IL sutch thing as hay
ing more taste than talent, and more
genius than elther-but perhaps not.
kno ov people who often overdo
things. but never waz known to haff do
them; rather like this breed ov hu-
mans.
luv thoroly wet day once in
while; it lays the dust on earth, and
lays the dust in man too.
Emmy man who duz hiz whole duty
regardless of consa uenses il hero;
don't kare whether he duz it at the rear
with pikax, or at the front in full
command.
Very menny failures and disappolnt
ments in this life arize from saying
and 2 make 8, just bekause it sounds
like it.
The minnitt yu begin to define hap
piness you begin to make it look sus-
pishus.
The world sumtimes entirely over
looks man, but when they are called
upon to weigh one out, they invariably
Civ hiz exackt heft, in pounds and
ounces.
"Luu yure ma6or az yureself"-let us
all do this, but don't let US brag about
it. for it il cluss trsnsackshun.
Thare is 2 kinds ov konstitdshun-
the ipjun rubber and the kast iron. /
prefer the rubber; it will swell, and
kontrackt, and strstch, and fiji bak, and
then il reddy to do the same things
over again.
Law. fisiek, and religion ought to be
az cheap al air or water; but i think
they hav kost the world az mutch as
the bred, meat and potatoes hav.
Don't be discouraged, mi dear boy;
if yu liv long enuff, you will probably
} kno less by and by than yu DO now.