Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-03-12

FROM ,AEuL-uIIICiAL uI>FAT,HE,.
AL day ~ foui we d ali night;
EgOrn Us re cur l0-ser,
Upon our inter-, left and right
Tie AlghAns are the bOsscs
The latest thing IN India shawls l.
embroidered ver;ebiH up the middle
of the shawl so that il looks as though
the wearers backbone was showing
clear through.
We see that Congress has begun the
investigation OF the troubles with the
Ute Indians. Let's see that is some
thing about this unfortunate Maine
business. isn't it?
How soon great men pass away from
the pubic mind when they are gone.
People don't know or talk much more
about Boss Tweed now than they do
about Washington.
The postage on young Keepitup's let
ter to his sweetheart amounted to nine
teen cents. GOOD enough, exclaimed
the delighted young man, I'm just
franc it," But the solemn postotfice
clerk told him he'd have to pay full
rates.
Stanley Matthews says he cannot af-
ford to take the English mission. Well,
then, why under the sun doesn't the
President give it to some one who can
afford it? Address, care of Redpath
Lyceum Bureau, 36 Bromfeld street,
Boston,"
A Columbus. Ohio, hotel-keeper re-
fused to let Representative Williams
have any dinner, because he was black,
and Williams proposes to go ahead and
make things blue for the landlord. By
and by they will shade down into APP
proximate harmony.
The other day bell punch exploded
in Boston street car, injuring the con-
ductor's thumb so badly that he
couldn't improve the noiseless oppor-
tunities of the rest of the trip. Here
is new danger on the rail. Don't get
on a street car without an accident
policy.
A strange, sad case of mental aberra-
ton has been brought before the physi-
clans of New York. An editor has
suddenly fallen a helpless prey to the
wild hallucination that he has bank
account. The medicine men say there
is no hope for him, and he will prob
ably be shot by the chief of police.
The keen alacrity with which an in
insurance company reaches out after
mans premium seems perfectly heart
less, and the company feels that it is
so, for it always endeavors to atone for
it by the sad, gloomy reluctance with
which it goes into courts to avoid pay
ment of the policy when the man dies.
An ingenious manager IN Burlington
has made drop curtain representing
an enormous bonnet, with sprays of
flowers, and dropping plumes. This is
let down on the play early in the first
scene, and is kept down all evening,
and the audience, seeing about as much
of the play as it is accustomed to seeing,
goes away delighted.
Now, then, we are fixed. Let the gas
stocks tumble, regardless of the sue
cess or failure of the electric light. A
Canadian genius has discovered pre-
cess by which the gas generated in all
self-feeding stoves can be utilized for
illumination. One small stove lights
a large building. Doesn't cost you
anything. Only, you just have to buy
the apparatus of this Canada man, all
the same.
Animals know the changing seasons
and their fruitfulness and the barren
ness of the same Just as we'll as men.
The COW that now walks complacently
the whole length of the city street. be
the same two miles long, more or less,
without ever turning her head to the
right or left, or ever once pausing in
the steady march, can't and won't walk
two hundred yards next June without
trying every gate on both sides of the
street. and climbing over at least two or
three garden fences.
1t isn't that we don't sympathize
with the people for whom Parnell
pleads, and to whom he lets out his
own estate at ruling rates, but when he
gets all he wants, we wonder what the
next fellow from Europe will want?
Isn't that part of the world getting to
be pretty nearly old enough to take
care of itself? And If it isn't, hadn't
We better adopt it and bring it up right
in the family? So long as We have it
to support, it would be cheaper to sup
port II uuuer our own domestic laws
and regulations.
The charity balls have beensunusual-
~ successful this winter and in many
instances the poor dressmaker has real
lied profit Of s75 on one costume and
the poor tailor has been scarcely less
fortunate, while the poor florist has had
more orders for IS bouquets than he
could ill and the poor livery men have
had all their carriages out al night, at
80 :: hour. and the poor caterer has
realized his usual profit on Jersey cider
at champagne prices. In the mean time
We believe the poor people who don't
know how to do anything but saw wood
and dig bitches have gone ON starving
about the same, but then . charity ball
can't he expected 20 take care Of all