Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1880-02-04
THE MYSTERIOUS CUSTOMER.
An Actors Mad-cap Adventure in a Provincial
Town.


Mr.. j. L. Tole in The Stage D>orl
! / was playing "Mr. Spicer Rumford -
III Artful Cards, and you know in the
second act he goes to an evening party,
and he has bought a PAIR of white kid
gloyes-regular party going gloves, war
ranted not to split, at one-arsd-six. But
they do split, and here is the fun of the
introduction of those comica} articles
called hand-shoes by the matter of fact
Germans.
The gloves were necessary for the fun
of the play; they must be split, or there
is no fun; and [ usually keep dozen
pairs ready in case of emergency, as I
have to split them before going upon the
stage.
When acting in celebrated provin-
cial town, where they are extremely
critical and particularly down to the
smallest detail, my dresser told me that
[ had no gloves; that I had used them all.
1t was a dreadfully wet night, pouring
cats and dogs, and all the best shops
were shut up; SO / told the coachman
to stop at the first glove shop he came
to. We came to halt at miserable
looking fourth-rate shop, where they sold
cheap braces and mouldy neckties, fly
blown shirts, and the most alarming
brass studs fixed into cardboard.
The proprietor of this dingy emporium
was just about to close, and seemed half
asleep. could see at once he was q
surly Unconditional fellow, and [ don't
think / improved his temper by making
my request very earnestly and in a low
tone, accompanied by gibberish which
he could not understand
L heard him muttering to himself
"What does he mean? the mans a
fool" When suddenly, as he was
bouncing about and losing his temper, I
said, as distinctly as possible, "Have
you got any white kid gloves? I don't
understand your provincial dialect"
1t was as we'll to turn the tables at
once, and put him in the wrong.
He CROPPED about until at last, when
he was red with the exertion, he found
forgotten box of white kids They were
uncommonly dusty, and had evidently
been the original stock of his grandfath-
er's shop. [ picked out pair, and he
went through the stupid old formula of
doubling them across my knuckles.
CT think these will do" he said.
ooh! will they? Then give me pair
of scissors"
"They are united, you don't want any
scissors"
eyes, do
[ then deliberately cut the gloves In
five or six places The man positively
shuddered and said, "Oh, don't~ It
seemed to hurt him, although the gloves
were mine. The more he shuddered,
the more I cut away
"But [ could have got you larger
pair without that" he whined, as if he
were in dreadful pain.
"They are quite large enough, my
dear SIR replied, hacking away; "but
| like plenty of ventilation
He shuddered again.
Give me another pair [ said,
fercely, as if / were thirsting for de-
struction.
"Win you have larger size? Do,"
he murmured. "Don't hurt them," he
added, with real pathos.
"No," I said, mechanically
''Give me some larger scissors y
saw a large pair of scissors on the
counter, and, Selling them, cut away at
two Or three pairs as eagerly as child
cutting up paper. The more [ cut, the
more puzzled and distressed he looked.
"There, that will do" said I, throwing
down the money and pocketing the
gloves.
evil you have any paper2 Oh,
dear!' p he roared, as if the scissors had
been ripping him open and he was recov-
ering from the shock.
emo, indeed; not [. Belinda shall be
revengedp' I groaned between my teeth.
"Thus will [ destroy my hated rival. %
He backed away from me as I waved
the scissors in the air, and [ could see
by his terrified face that he thought I
was stark, staring mad. AS I was leav-
ing the shop looked out and said:
"It's lovely morning, isn't it % It
was o'clock in the evening, and raining
in torrents.
"Don't talk nonsense, sir" he replied
angrily, but evidently very frightened
and astonished.
With hideous grimace left the shop
and jumped into the carriage In five
minutes [ was at the theater, trying to
amuse the audience with the perplexities
Of "Mr. Spicer Rumford," while the
puzzled shopman was brooding over this
strange adventure with his Z" Mysterious
Customer.