The Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1877-1885, 1880-03-01
ALL SORTS.


& Experience teaches many things
prominent among which. to a man. is that
it is safer to run your chances with a
balky mule than dictate to a woman on
wash day.
There is no hope for a man who goes to
bed sober and gets up drunk. 1t he
simply gets up sober aud goes to bed
drunk be may run along for some months
before his funeral axes place,
At performaa of the catata 'Esther"
at Dallas. Texas. Ahasuerus was advised
by somebody in the audience not to "cut
it too fat" The persona.or of the great
Assyrian went to the footlights and said ::
This is religious show. and you'll have
to be decent. I'm Ah0sueras just now.
but after the show I'm Sam Turner, and
if any duffer would like to cut it fat then
III give him a mighty lively welcome."
I--EDclange
Among the crowd. sa Us the Rochester
Democrat, that surged forward TO the
gates as the st. Louis express rumbled
into Central depot last evening was a
little old woman dressed in black, with
little white face just visible beneath a
rusty old bonnet aud above great COM
forter wound high around the neck. Jostl-
ed this way and that by the hurrying
throng. she was about to pass through the
gate. when the gateman stopped her by
q motion of the hand and demand for her
| ticket.
Il am not going away" she replied,
| Il did not buy ticket"
Then you can t go through here; against
orders, you know.
But. sir, my son is comtng' and -"
Cant help it. was the hurried reply.
| Stay here and he will come to you quick
enough"
''Ah, sir, if he only would" was the
reply and the tremble in the little wo-
| mans voice arrested the impatient muir
muir of those behind: "Oh, sir, II he only
would. but he died in Cleveland last week
and now they are bringing my boy home
| in coffin, He was the only one had-ch,
thank you sir.
| The gate was thrown wide open, an IN
| known friendly hand assisted her on, and
in a moment the sad face of the little old
| women 10 black was lost in the crowd.
An ordinary looking traveller went into
the dining hall of the Union depot the
other day, carrying nice satchel He
walked up to the counter, put down the
satchel. called for a cup of coffee, and a
piece OF pie, which he devoured Leaving
the satchel By the counter, he sauntered
up to the other side of the room aud en-
tered into conversation with gentle m an
there.
A policeman coming in and seeing the
satchel apparently without an owner,
picked it up and said: Hello. anyone
know anything about this keyster
That's mine," said the traveller,
"Dottor take care of it, or some one will
steal IT,"
'Oh. | gness not; I'm an old traveller. "
The policeman walked on; in few
minutes in came a dapper little man,
| looked carelessiy around, saw the satchel.
| careiessly walked oyer to it, carelessly
picked it up, ami was going for the door
when the owner sang OUT: Hello! where
are you go'ng?'
| Going to hotel"
Wei, what are you doing with that
satchei2' going over to him. That my
satchel. hand it over" But the daDper
| H5ilc man held on TO it, aud without any
gqQ the traveller knocked him down time
or tgO. and vas proceeding to polish him
| off nicely when interrupted By the polIce-
man, who separated the men, and while
| receiving an explanation from the stranger
the thief escaped. The traveller put his
satchel down by the counter, where it was
before, and went to the other side of the
room to continue the conversation.
The policeman eyed the satchel. then
the man, aud, gaking over TO him, said:
Now, see here. what do you mean by
leaving that bag over there; what sort of
game is this, anyway"
~ ell. I've been travelling fer over six
weeks, and I'm pining for little gentle
exercise; that's al, said the traveller
Indianapolis Journal