The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1880-01-28
January %
.

far away, when asked II there would
be smusic each evening, "No," and
then added, "but there will be sing
ing"
sI have got so in the habit Of be-
ing married by an Episcopal clergy
man that 1 really don't feel satisfied
with any other Kind" said Chicago
widow.
The fact that George Washington's
wife never asked where he had been
when he came home late at night,
goes good way towards accounting
for his extreme truthfulness.
aDear Louise, don't let the men
come too near you, when courting."
aOh, no, dear ma. When Charley is
here we always have one chair be-
tween u.s." Mother thinks the answer
is ambiguous.
The man who helps to circulate a
piece OF gossip is as bad as the one
who originated it. To put your fist
into tar barrel and go around shak-
ing hands with everybody is what
some people like to do.
Scarlet flannel skirts are again in
vogue, and it will require the careful
scrutiny of the most experienced en-.
gineer to tell whether the red object
he sees flirting in the distance is a
danger signal or woman shooting
her geese off the track.--Keokuk
Gate City. a M
"Ma, has sister Floy ever travelled
any ?" i"No. child, nc" "Then, when
l was a-lyin' under the sofa Sunday
night, and Mr.. John came in from
church and was a-settin' in the big
rockin' chair, how came she to say
that the incest land she was ever in
was Lapland ?"
A crusty old gentleman, of Aber-
deem, not liking the way his land
lady's daughter had of making free
with his hair oil, filled the bottle with
liquid glue the day before a ball to
which the girl had been invited, and
she stayed at home.
A fond youth who had fixed his
affections upon young lady, one of
three sisters, approached her stern
father one evening and modestly
asked for her hand. "Young man."
said the dignifed old citizen, "you
ask too much when you ask for AL
| ice. look higher for her. But I'll
tell you what you can do : there's
Emma, you can take her."
"What are you looking for ~
asked one of the widow Bedotts's
two daughters, who were entertaining
two young fellows on the piazza,
rather late one night last summer, of
their mother, who seemed to be
! hunting for something around the
front yard. "The morning papers. =
answered the widow. The young
men lett. |
An Irish girl was ordered to hang
the wash.clothes on the horse in the
kitchen to dry. Her mistress shortly
after found a very gentle family horse
standing in the kitchen completely
covered with the articles that had
been washed that day. Upon inter
rogating the girl, the reply was:
"Och, to be sure, We tould me to
hang the clothes upon the horse in
the kitchen, and the haste is the
klndest ever saw, sure.n
| Two of those ornaments made of
plaster of Paris favored with sugar
were bestowed upon an urchin, with
the usual warning. "Don't eat them,
whatever you do; they will poison
you" For some time they were re-
garded by him and his younger
brother with mingled awe and ad-
miration; but at no distant day their
mother missed one. 'Tom," said
she TO the owner, who was lust set.
ting forth for school, "what have ZEE
done with that figure ?" "Giv'd it to
Dick" was the reply, sand if he's
living when I come home mean to
eat the other one myself, can tell
EEL" teit
A middle.aged man, whose coat
had seen other if not better days,
rushed breathlessly into Miley's So
loon, the other day, and said aWb.
man over at the post office--iust got
letter husband dead-fainted away
GIN me glassful best brandy--quickI''
The whole.hearted bartender passed
it out, and the man, taking few
steps from the bar, drank it off at a
! gulp. "Ah !" he says, ri feel better
= low = stronger = drawer. / never