Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1880-03-04

Tragedy daily enacteu.
There lived close to these belligerents
a good-natured old man, nearly as deaf
as post, who had the greatest faculty
for laundering on unfortunate facts of
any individual known either in ancient
or modern history. He never heard
any thing correctly, and it was an utter
impossibility to try to explain, and if
you attempted ityou would find yourself
laundering in perfect slough of de-
spair. @
Miss Sallie and Mr. Popkins had re-
| ceived notice that their case would come
up for the final hearing in Harrow on
Tuesday of next week. Miss Sallie
concluded to take the stage; Uncle Ben
Dropper, our deaf friend, had business
little distance ON the road, and he
would take the stage too; and Mr.. Pop
kins's saddle horse fell sick just as he
was needed, and there being no time for
other arrangements, he must take the
same conveyance.
Miss Sallie came floating down to the
gate with white ribbons and bows, and
dainty dress, sufficient to bewilder man
with as stony heart as the sphinx, and
saw approaching from the opposite side
her foe, in immaculate broadcloth and
Shirt front. For moment the color
rushed to her cheeks land she helf resolved
to 60 back; but to be outdone by man,
and he Popkins, was not to be thought
of, so she stepped into the coach with
an air of sixteen Queen Victorias, ele-
waiting her head until it made an acute
angle with her nose, and became SUBJ
timely unconscious of any ones pres
ence. Mr.. Popkins seated himself as
though he had swallowed whole foun-
dry, and had his pockets full of eggs for
dessert. Just then came Uncle Ben,
putting and blowing, utterly unconscious
of the oaths of the impatient Jehu.
"Good morning, Miss Sallie," said
he, carefully seating himself beside her.
"Good morning, Mr.. Popkins. Where
might you be going, and what for?''
"To Harrow said Mr.. Popkins, in
his most polite manner, answering the
first question, and ignoring the last.
"Du tell" and the round face fairly
beamed with placid surprise. "Going
to marry? Well, told Hester last
night that was the suit after all. There
amt no more capable girl any where
than Sallie, and am glad you found it
out. And Mr.. Popkins is wonderful
CLEVER" turning to Sallie, sand instead
of there being two farms and "a lawsuit,
there need be only one. Law, bless
mel" rubbing his hands with increased
satisfaction, elf it amt tiptop ar
rangement!'
Mr.. Popkins clutched at his throat as
though he was choking to death, and
made spasmodic efforts to utter word
of explanation, but his tongue was ut
terly palsied and failed him in this
emergency. Miss Sallie, with a face of
the deepest rose color, placed her hand
| to her mouth, and shouted so as to star
| tie the horses:
81 am gong to see Mr.. Stiles on bust
| ness.''
Oh, day of blunders! Mr. Stiles was
her lawyer, but the unfortunate girl was
unaware that Presbyterian minister
had the same dignfied cognomen.
"Mr. Stiles" said our friend, "well,
I've heard him well spoken of, but l
never expected you, Sallie, a Baptist, to
be married by any one but minister of
your own church; but 1 suppose you
gave way to Mr.. Popkins, and it shows
downright good disposition
Miss Sallie gave up in despair, and
looked fixedly out of the window, while
Mr.. Popkins's lips moved occasionally
as though he were asking for water, but
the unconscious cause of this turmoil sat
serene and happy, indulging in an oc-
casional chuckle and knowing glance at
Mr. Popkins, but at this moment he saw
he had arrived at his destination, and
wishing his two victims much happi-
ness, he left them to their thoughts.
The human heart is strange affair
TO say the least of it. Had any one adj
vised Mr.. Popkins to marry Sallie. he
would have rejected the idea Immediate
ly, and she herself would have taken it
as an insult; but the totally unexpected
manner in which the matter had been
brought up made altogether different
affair of it. He stole glance at Miss
Sallie. Her face was turned away, and
she was apparently studying nature.
She was pretty; Mr.. Popkins couldn't
deny that. What-if-and his heart
gave tremendous bound. What fool
he had been all this time! We must
try, at any rate, and risk repulse. So
without any more hesitation, for our
hero was brave, he took Uncle Ben's
seat and said, quietly:
Miss Sallie.'
The face turned the eighteenth part of
an inch toward him. Not much encour-
agement certainly ,>but little.