The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1880-01-03
VARIETIES.

-AIutIlCdu uClblOUS pulling thp
teeth of all civilized nations.
The best thing out is bad cigar.
Isn't it?-BufaEo Sunday Times.
To the sluggard, every year is
sleep year. acEenSack Republican.
The dollar is always in good quar-
ters, summer or winter, but hang the
twenty-cent pieces. Free Press.
=" There is no good substitute for
WISDOM" says Josh Billings, "but
silence is the best yet discovered"
There are 100000 mich COWS in
the United States, while Germany and
Great Britain together count only 12,-
100000.
1t is the easiest thing in the world
to discover all the grease spots on a
mans coat when you don't like him.
Pree Press.
1t has been determined by trig-
onometrical survey that Niagara Falls
have receded more than one hundred
feet since 1912.
1t has been demonstrated in Paris
that when man pounds his thumb
with hammer he is twice as mad as
when he strikes his elbow on the door
frame.
Young writer have chosen
an excellent nom de PLANE for your
first effusion, Euripides," for you rip
ideas all to pieces.-C Cincinnati Satur-
dag Nsght.
Bells were first set up in churches
as defense against thunder and light
ming. The first bell hung in England
was in 945. Chimes were invented in
Belgium in 1887.
When you deprive boy of the
privilege of taking off his coat and vest
together at one pull and leaving his
boots in the middle of the floor, what
do you expect he has to live for?
Painting pictures on old teacups is
very nice employment for woman,
but the girl who can fix up a last win
ter's bonnet is the one who will make
her mark in the world.-N Y. ErpreSS.
You Shan is the name of Chinese
giant who is coming to this country to
exhibit himself. If his hind end ended
one letter higher up in the alphabet, we
would think he belonged over here
HasoE- Eye.
=" What is craftsmanship" asks
the Chicago Inter- Ocean. Statesman
ship, we believe, is the peculiar gift
some men have of robbing the Govern
ment without being caught. Pbiladel-
pbiG Chronicle. ....... .
According to the old law for cal
culating tonnage, Noah's ark measured
21,761 tons, to the Great Eastern's 21,-
092. The ark is said to have been SAT
feet long, while the great steamship
is $50 feet in length.
Why en- advance in lard should en-
nance the price of butter is about as
difficult problem as the true inward
ness of the connection between the
price of milk and a water famine
Boston Transcript.
About $4,000 varieties of colors are
employed by the mosaic workers of
Rome, and each of these varieties has
about fifty shades so that in all 100000
tints are afforded, which the artist can
distinguish with the greatest facility.
Even with this variety the workers find
q lack of tints.
MARIA" observed Mr.. Holcomb,
as he was putting on his clothes,
"there amt no patch on them breeches
YETI 81 can't fix it now, no way.
Pm too busy" "Well, give me the
patch then, and I'll carry it around
with me. l don't want people to think
| can't afford the CLOTH"
Did you ever notice that if you 90
into an office where the man is on the
street talking politics all the time he
isn't in bed, you will always see a
framed chrome motto hanging up over
the desk, thine is Money ?"-Rae0k-
EUe.
Soft as silk with golden hair.
Bright as stars We're her eyes of blue,
Truly loved my lady fair,
Truly my lady loved me, too
Did 1t break my heart when my love lay dead?
Why, bless your soul, she didn't die,
Time wrought change as it onward sped
She loves another-so do ].
, -NeaO York World.
-" My wife," remarked prominent
manufacturer, "never attends auctions.
She went once, and seeing friend at
the opposite side of the room, nodded
politely, whereupon the auctioneer
Knocked down a patent cradle, and
asked her where she wished it deliv-
cred"
"A clothes-line is a harmless thing,
When stretched from pole to pole;
Until you start across the yard
And step into hole.
Then as you make a forward lunge,
IL stops you, so to speak,
And throws you down and Jerks you to
The middle Of neck's tweak.
-Keokuk Gate City.
The Rochester Democrat of last
Monday says: "There was go-as-
you-please walking match at the con-
clusion of the services at one of the
churches last night. 1t was a young
lady who went as she pleased, and the
youth waltzed off toward home alone,
with large-sized mitten in his pocket.
From present indications there will be
no match"
"A little more than a century ago
letter writing was supposed to be the
limit OF woman's brain power. Few
even of the Puritan women could read
or write, and though boys schools
were established, girlswere not allowed
To nntpr for nuoY. E0 ryoaXo