The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1880-01-23
HERE AND THERE.

1t has been figured out that rum costs
this country seven times as much as re
ligion.
A Boston paper defies any living man
to take an old-fashiOned fail and hit q
rat with it.
Ex-gov. Shepherd, of Washington, is
said to have struck a bonanza in his
Mexican silver mine.
Stanley has begun the ascent of the
Congo, we'll armed and equipped with
all kinds of provisions and boats.
ut is not our purpose to discuss this
NATTER says the Boston Times, after II
has discussed a whole column of it.
Promise to treat man and he will
walk mile TO get Scent glass of beer.
Something in the word just touches him.
1t is believed that Kate Field could
deliver a regular old bowler of an agrl-
cultural address if she had any one to
| back her.
The fund for the relief of Gen. Hoods
| children now amounts to $10,963, of
which $1O,5OO have been invested in
| United States bonds.
1t has been demonstrated that United
States soldier can pass 625 consecutive
| days in the guard-house and not improve
his morals a bit.
Tight lacing should be encouraged in
| every possible way. 1t kills off the
foolish girls and leaves the sensible ones
No healthy girl ever laces.
1t is leap year, of course, but after all
1t doesn't look very well for a young
lady to go home alone at 2 O'Clock in the
morning after sparkling her beau.
About the only New Workers who pay
any personal taxes are the men who
have some little respect for truth or those
who can't tell lie and stick to it.
The New Haven Register declares
that all brands of perfumery smell alike
to its editorial nose. Then put kerosene
oil on your handkerchief and save your
money.
Dennis Kearney was pushed into the
mud by New York negro, and now he
says that the colored race must leave
this country in five years or take the
consequences.
Gen. Grant has ordered his Ethan
Allen colt, now on the farm of Gen
Beale, near Washington, to be sent by
the next steamer as a present to the
Mikado of Japan.
Mrs. Elizabeth Comstock, a Quaker
missionary of Michigan, says that of the
10000 prisoners whom she has visited
100000 were brought to prison through
strong drink.
"The Lord is greater than Uncle Sam,
and He will help US lick anybody who
interferes with pOlygamy," says Apostle
Joe Smith. Joseph may find himself
badly mistaken some day.
An English girl wants to know how
long girls should be courted.-Exchange.
Our opinion may not be worth much in
such matters, but we think long girl
should be courted in the same manner
as short girls are courted-with operas,
carriage rides, CONNECTIONS, sitting up
nights, and SO forth If young man
can't court long girl without carrying
a step-ladder when he goes to see her, he
should resign in favor of some one who
can.-Globe- Democrat.
A young man in Lawrence, Kansas,
tried a novel method of breaking a balky
horse, a borrowed horse at that, and re-
grets that instead of relying upon his
own resources he took counsel of some
boys, who no doubt were aware of the
fact that nothing SO encourages dog to
Ego as you please" as to tie tin-pail to
his tail. Blows and coaXing being of no
avail, the boys advised christening the
traces and tying the horses tail to the
cross-bar of a wagon. The effect was
electric. IL half a second the horse was
jumping like a steeple chaser, and at
every jump the wagon described para
bolic curve. AT the point where both
thills were broken and the horse was
lodged in the mud, the boys disappear
from the story.