The Democratic press. [volume] (Ravenna, O. [Ohio]) 1868-1901, 1880-10-21
WIT AND HUMOR.

There is imam in San Francisco SO
reduced by consumption that he lives
entirely upon stimulants and his rela.
tions. --ti
"Now this is what l call business, y
remarked all undertaken, as an unfor-
tunate gentleman stepped into his
store and died.
A tall man having rallied his frienrl
on the shortness OF his legs, the frien
replied: '.My legs reach the ground
what more can yours do?"
He was from the mountain side, all, |
was buying his first glass of soda.-
81 wish you'd skim Off that scum,
boss; amt paying for no froth, you
bet"
"What is the worst thing about
riches?" asked a Sunday School teach
CT. "Their scarcity" replied the boy,
and he was Immediately awarded a
chrome. . -
allow many deaths?" asked the hos
pital physician, while going his
rounds. "Ni,,c." "Why, 1 ordered
medicine for ten" "Yes, but one
wouldn't take it."
Young f;irmcr-"Arc you fond of
beasts, Miss Gushcrton?" Miss Gush-
crtol-"Oh, really, Mr.. Pawkcr, if
you mean that as IL declaration, you
must speak to mammal"
"Can there be happiness where
there is no love 2" solcmnly queries IN
author in book Oh marriage. Not
much happiness, perhaps; but if the
girl is awiully rich, there can be lots
of fun. ss
A rich Scotchman at the point OF
death, said to his pastor: DO you
think if l left 100000 to the Presby-
tcriln church my soul will be saved %
81 can't promise you anything" all
swcred the good man after 4 second
thought, but it's worth trying"
"Don't you want to he my wifc?"
said u small boy to u smaller girl
With some hesitation, but with u ccr-
tain iirmiicss of tone, she replied,
"Ics, L would" '.Tnen," continued
the boy, as lie seated himself ON the
grass and lifted up his foot, ''you may
begin by pulling oil my boots." 'r
When Il man in Il Vermont grocery
store was sitting upon the edge of the
counter, and his feet slippei and he
rakcd the whole length of his buck on
the counters edge, and SIT square
down in Il bushel basket of eggs which
stood right where he couldn't miss it,
tile grocer was hOrrificd, and exciain-
cd: "Was 1T an accidenL?" And the
victim replied: '.By cri,nus, sir, if
you iIsinuatc that l skun my back and
got myself into this mess OH purpose,
IIl jun your head into the reilIains OF
those eggs! !-BOSton Post.
One of the fashions is new laugh,
which goes like tiIis: 'Tc-he, te-he!
Ha, ha, ha! On-h-h-h-ha, la, hal"
The directions are as follows: "A
low and SLY beginning is made with
the 'te- he,' us though mirth Was strug-
CLING inside to break out through
naiucnly reserve, allI the mouth is
kept tightly closed, Willie the eyes
are opened wide. thus giving an ex-
preston OF mingled Occurrences and
liischievousncss. Then follows the
'Ha, ha, ha,' higher and louder, with
u parting OF the lips to shuw the
teeth, ii they be whitc and regular
The On, h-h comes next i'll q tone of
surprise, reproOf, OF artlcss gaycty,
" the nature OF the thing
at, and the voice rises into u
pretty litIle scream. The ensuing
pause covers u sudden sense OF the iIl-
propricty of making SO much noise, the
eyes are cast down, and /; blush can i'll
instances be produced by holding the
breath W ith The lungs very fully in
tlatcd. The final lia, ha, ha, is given
rs a crcscendo, spiritedly and without
any show of restraint, like the out
hilarity of an ullconvention-
al miikmaid. This novelty in laugh
is heard everywhere i'll the netropo-
lis and is sure to become popular.