Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-12-09

Mephistopheles, says reviewer, is
dignifed devil.
On an old English tombstone is the fol-
lowing:
Here lies the body Of Mary Bent,
Kicked up her teels aud away she went
An exchange speaks of man being
gored by an angry bull. as if good.
natured bull would do such thing Il Fond
du Lac Reporter.
" Give the wicked Bernhardt wide
berth, says an exchange. What for? She
can get along with a narrow one. Give the
wide berth to David Davis.
Rev. R. r. Meredith in his lecture on
Peter, says the disciple, in the fresh bloom
OF his young manhood, had done what
young man ought TO do-marry and settle
down to his occupation.
Mrs. Mountjoy, who was reproached for
her lack of sentiment, replied How can
a woman have any sentiment whose hus-
band goes to bed six nights out of the
week with his boots on?"
Puck says the naval review has taken
place, and the feet has been hung up to
dry. No necessity. of course, for hanging
the commanding officers or the boatswain's
mates. They're always dry.
President Anderson, of Rochester Uni
versity, thinks that the great mistake
made by the farmers of to-day is that In
stead of macadamizing their roads they
spend their money on mud thoroughfares.
OF the late Governor Williams family of
seven children, but two remain-John
Matthias, farmer, of Knox county, Ind,
and Mrs. Dunn, widow, who kept house
for him at the homestead near WheatIand,
Ind.
William Rich, very prominent and
wealthy colored man of Troy, N. Y, has
been declared insane. He established the
first colored church in Troy, and was
prominent conductor of the underground
railroad in slavery times. His insanity
is Of a mild type.
Birdie, Get my haunes ready.
For the autumn winds are diving,
And in dels by birds deserted
Polar blasts are shrilly signing:
All the little flowers ara faded
And the woods are dark and sere-
All, my soul Is chilled and faded
Bring my iisnnels, Birdie, dear
-luI City Derrick.
The Locomotive publishes engravings in
each issue showing how boilers look just
after they have exploded. This doesn't
seem to hit the case at all. What is needed
is a picture showing how boiler looks
just before it is going to explode. We
could then learn when to get out Of the
way.-[New Haven Register.
Jonathan Fl. Greene, once great gam
bier, who grew rich at the card table, then
reformed, exposed tho methods of card
tricksters and gave away most of his gam
bling profits, is now in needy circumstances
in Philadelphia. He had much to do with
securing the passage of anti-gambling laws
in New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Ken
lucky and Maryland.
"Your opinion is OF no account. Your
Judgment is controlled by your malice
What do you know about cleaning mar
kets? Did yen ever visit market? Yes,
Won are very wise on markets, you are"
The preceding quotation is not taken from
n report of a quarrel between two fish,
wives. 1t is a report of the way in which
John Kelly bulldozes his Mayor when the
latter doesn't do as he wants.
A man cal, always find good reason for
5o;pg what he ought TO be ashamed of, and
u,igIt cuigel his brains for weeks without
fndinr good reason for not doing it. We
s,e ant TO find what we are looking after,
and not SO apt 70 see "uas We uon want
to see. A great many people take drink
because they are thirsty, but very few can
reach the moral altitude of the negro who
said he drank glass of whisky once in
while because he wanted to : change his
bref.
New York doctor has discovered that
-,orsness is an ina sinary disease. FMS
MI he cheering news to young men VINO
have h, frequently thought themselves este to De
neLs o, tbe other end of the sofa stuck his
ins I'D - inside the door and remarked that
nus nsa t;me for every body but burglars to
!, y. G - he'd. The knowledge thai the I'M
Dc :. feeling is purely imaginary Will De
plea Aeaf consolation, and nerve them to even
more prolonged yiglls.