davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
SQuibs.

The grub makes the butterfly when
the grub is hot biscuit.
When Boston man invites YOU to
dinner, and heads a postscript N. B.,
he means "no beans."-[ New York
Commercial.
Eliza Jane Liza Jane =" said the
old lady. "You take in every piece of
that washin' tonight, for I see by the
paper that there's to be three delegates
at large this evening in town."
A school boy being asked by rival
on the street, which was the highest
study in his school, replied with a stare
OF pity and surprise "Why, astrono-
my, of course"
Police Justice Ito witness with band
aged head)-"Did he have any provo
cation when he struck you ?" Witness
-" He may have had something of the
KIND concealed on his person, but it
was brick he struck me with.n
Mr.. Beecher says suitable opening
for good many cboirs would be 30!
Lord, have mercy on us, miserable
singers"
Mark Twain's works have met with
universal demand, but his latest work
is not for sale. 1t is girl-an Innocent
at home
Recitation room at Yale. Professor
*, do you know the meaning of
that word 2" x. hesitates. A whisper.
Professor-"Your friend is right"
A little girl in church, after the con-
trlbution plate had been passed, COM
Placently and audi5ly said: 81 paid
for four, mamma, was that right 7''
'Men often jump at conclusions
says the proverb. So do dogs. One
recently jumped at the conclusion of a
cat, which was sticking through the
opening of a partly closed door, and
caused great disturbance.
Mamma-"Why, my dear Willie.
what in the world is the matter with
little Oscars head ?" Willie-"Wen,
we're playing William Tell an some
how my arrow won't hit the apple, but
keeps pluggin' his eyes an nose"
There is nothing sadder than wom-
an who has lost her false teeth over
board, unless it is the experiences of
Gen. Ben Butler as demOcrat.-[Gal-
weston (Tex.) News.
1t was in the Galveston opera house.
The two gentlemen were from the coun-
try. After the curtain fell on the first
act, one of them, who had been reading
the program, said i'll an excited man-
ner, ''Its an Internal swindle. just got
mp to take in strangers" whats
swindle ?" "Here it says the next act
is two years later. 1 wonder if thew
think we are going to stay in Galveston
at So day, for two years, Just to see
this thing out 2" They went out and
saw the ticket man about it Calves
ton News.
On homeward bound Charleston car
a jolly looking Irishman was saluted
with the remark: "Tim, yer house was
blown away" "Deed, thin, it isn't,n
he answered, ':fOr l have the kay in me
pocket
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Passumpsic RaiIroad.---october 4, 1880.
st. Johnsbury Church Directory.

Adrent-Paddock Village Sabbath Services al
IO;SG a. m las and $3.50 p. m. Sabbath School l.
m. Prayer Meetings at 7:3O p. m. Sunday, Tuesday
and Friday evenings.
Baptist-Rsilroad Street Corner Maple Rev
+. L. Sandford, Pastor. Preaching 1880 A NJ. S
School II NJ Prayer meeting 630. Prayer meet
ing wednesday evening at 7:30
Free BaphSt-Main Street. Corner Prospect
Rev. c. S. Frost Pastor Residence at Mrs John
e. Chubb's Spring st. Sabbath services 1890 A
M, and $50 P. NJ Sabbath School at 10 M. Prayer
meeting Wednesday evening at 1880.
Church of the eMssSiah-tUniversalistJ Eastern
avenue, corner Cherry street. Rev. B. NJ. Tillot-
son, Pastor. Sabbath services at las p NJ
Sabbath School at IL Nj. Wednesday evening meet
ing at 7:S0.
Methodist-Central street Rev. E. S. Locke.
Pastor. Residence head of Summer street. Sab
bath services at 1850 A NJ and $50 p. M. Sabbath
school at IL NJ. Wednesday evening meeting at
North COngregationaI-Mai street, corner of
Church. Rev. Henry w. Jones, Pastor. Sabbath
services at 1890 A. M, and $50 P. NJ. Sabbath
School at las P. N. Wednesday evening meeting
at 1880.
South OongregationaE-Main street Rev. Ed
ward L. Fairbanks. Pastor. Sabbath services at
1890 A NJ, and 6:3O P. NJ. Sabbath School at IL NJ
Wednesday evening meeting at 7:3O.
PresbyteriGn Church-Rev W. R. Laird. mas.
tor. Services at Presbyterian Hail. every Sab
bath at 10:30 a m., 800 p. m. Sabbath school 200
Prayer meeting 6:3O. Bible reading Wednesday
evening 7:30.
ST. AndretO's-(E (Episcopal,) Main street. Rev.
n. +. Putnam, Rector. Services Sundays at
1880 a. m, and p M Holy days and FRIDAYS at
8 a. m; Wednesdays at 7:30 p. M. Sunday School
at $3.50 p.
Boissonnault Parish Priest. Mass and 10 a. m ;
Vespers and Benediction at 3 p. m. On the
second Sunday of the month, service at $50 M,
and p. m At LyndOnville same day at 1890 a. m.
G. A, Browns Building. Main Street, Sunday
mornings at $3.50, Monday evenings at 7:30.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Loss of the Alpena.

The most serious of all the calami-
ties occurring by the recent gale on the
lakes was the loss of the steamer Alpe-
ma, bound from Grand Haven to Chica-
go. The ill-fated vessel left tbs for
mer port on Friday night, Oct. Is, with
about 30 people on board, not a soul of
whom, it is believed at this writing, is
left to tell the story of the disaster. The
Alpena was due at Chicago on Satur-
day morning, the 10th, but the owners
OF the vessel and friends and relatives
of those on board did not despair Of her
safety for three days after, when the
most indisputable evidences of the aw-
full fate that had overtaken them we're
furnished in the shape of pieces of the
wreck and stray articles of furniture
bearing the name of the Alpena. These
were washed ashore in the vicinity of
Holland, Mich, on the east shore of
Lake Michigan, and it is the general
impression that the steamer met her
fate not far from that point. There
were ten carloads of apples stored on
the main deck of the Alpena, and the
theory is advanced that when she got
into the trough of the sea this cargo be-
came unmanageable, and pitching from
side to side with the motion of the boat
finally rolled her over Such a cargo
stored in that way instead of in the
hold would have tendency to make
the boat top-heavy, and it is not i'm
probable that this is one of the causes
of the disaster. The finding of portions
of the piano on the eastern shore NAV
be taken as further proof that the
mOvables on the Alpena were on the
rampage. 1t is not unlikely that the
Alpena's piano jumped clear through
the side of the cabin in one of the vio-
lent lurches. When heavy body gets
loose on vessel in a storm it is terri
ble thing, and is sometimes transform
ed into an irresistible engine of destruc-
ton. 1t is also probable that she became
disabled in some manner, and thus fell
an easy prey to the angry waves. This
belief is strengthened by the story of
the officers of schooner, who report
seeing the Alpena off Racine Saturday
morning, between 10 and IL o'clock,
heading due west, labOring very hard
in the trough of the sea. They saw no
signals of distress, but supposed from
the way the boat was acting that she
was in trouble.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
A Scotch Legend of Ticonderoga.

In the middle of the last century the
chief of the Campbells of Inverawe had
been giving an entertainment at Ills
castle on the banks of the Awe. The
party bad broken up and Campbell was
left alone. He was reused by violent
knocking at the gate, and was surprised
at the appearance of one of his guests.
with torn garments and disheveled
hair, demanding admission. 81 have
killed man, and am pursued by en-
emies. I beseech you to let me in.
Swear upon your dirk-upOn the crua-
chan or hip where your dirk rests
swear by Ben Cruachan-that you will
not betray me-" Campbell swOre, and
placed the fugitive in secret place in
the house. Presently there was a sec
Ond knocking at the gate. 1t was a
party of his guests, who said: "Your
cousin Donald has been killed; where
is the murderer ," At this announce
ment Campbell remembered the great
oath which he had sworn, gave an eva
sive answer, and sent off the pursuers
in wrong direction. He then went to
the fugitive and said: "You have kill
ed my cousin Donald. l cannot keep
you here" The murderer appealed to
his oath, and persuaded Campbell to let
him stay for the night. Campbell did
so, and retired to rest. In the visions
of that night the bloOd-stained Donald
appeared to him with these words !:
"Invelawe, Inverawe, blood has been
shed shield not the murderer In the
morning Campbell went to his guest
and told him that any further shelter
was impossible. He took him, howev-
er, to cave in Ben Cruachan, and
there left him. The night again closed
in, and Campbell again slept, and the
blood-stained Donald appeared. "In-
verawe, Inverawe, blood has been shed {;
shield not the murderer" On the
morning he went to the cave on the
mountain, and the murderer had fled.
Again at night he slept, and again the
blood-stained Donald rose before him
and said: "Inverawe, Inverawe, blood
has been shed. We shall not meet
again till we meet at Ticonderoga.n
He awoke in the morning, and behold
it was dream. But the story of the
triple apparition remained by him,
and be often told it among his kinsmen,
asking always what the ghost could
mean by this mysterious word of their
Enal rendezvous. In 1853 there broke
out the French and English war in
America, which after many rebuffs end
ed in the conquest of Quebec by Gen.
Wolfe. Campbell of Inverawe, went
out with the Black Watch, the 40 High
land regiment, afterward so famous.
Then, on the eve of an engagement, the
general came to the officers and said /:
1--WE had better not tell Campbell the
name of the fortress which we are to at
tack tomorrow. 1t is Ticonderoga.
Let us call it Fort George The as
sault took place in the morning. Camp
bell was mOrtally wounded. He sent
for the general. These were his last
words: General, you have deceived
me; have seen him again. This. is
Ticonderoga."-[Dean Stanley in Fra
sier's Magazine.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26

Even those delegates who presented
the memorials against the council, as
now organized, each protested that they
individually loved the council and de-
sired its continued existence and pros
perity.
The votes of thanks at the close were
very hearty, and DIR. Goodell, with
whose church the council has been held,
outdid himself in his farewell speech,
full of pathos aud sparkling wit. Rev.
Lyman Abbott offered vote of thanks
for the moderator's services, and said
he had been so fair and able that he
had contributed much to the success of
the meeting and to the permanent es-
tablishment of the triennial council.
DR.. Dexter replied in a fine speech, and
the adjournment came with love-feast
OF good feeling and congratulation, and
the body was dismissed by the venera-
ble DR.. Post, who had welcomed them
to the CITY.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Pretty Sure Death.

The alarming frequency with which
we are called upon to note men and wo-
men terribly injured by kiudling fires
with kerosene makes us wonder if peo-
pie are mad. In spite of every injunc-
tion to the contrary, men and women
go right on and expose themselves to
the frightful accidents in this way. One
of our exchanges says of this growing
carelessness; Somebody ought to pub
lish household tract and advise peo-
pie to kindle their fires with gunpowdel
instead of Kerosene. 1t would be vastly
safer indeed, for the gunpOwder ONLY
explOdes and then is done with, and i
1t blows ont the windows and doors, OF
takes of leg or an arm, or puts out an
eye, that is all there is of it, and peo
pie know what to expect. But the ker
osene not only explodes but takes fire
and its burning vapor is pretty SURE
death to the woman who tries this sor
of kindling. The most sickeniug of al
horrors, being burned alive, is the nat
ural outcome of the hurrying ND of SLOW
fires by the quick kindling of kerosne
but every woman who tiles it ought +,
know that she would be a good dea
safer in the front of battle than be
hind kerosene can in such an experi
ment,
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26

TEMPERANCE THEN AND NOVA
good many things have been carelessly
said about the temperance reform and
the matter of hard drinking. When a
total abstinence orator is upon his legs,
with none to contradict him or make
him cautious, he is apt to declare that
there is more wine-bibbing and spirit
selling now than ever. But can re-
member when it was not particular
disgrace to be drunk, and score OF
tragedies which came of intemperance
when every country tavern was grog-
shop and was expected to be /; when
there could be no harvesting, no house
raising, no fire, and no funeral, and not
even the ordination of minister of the
gospel without some indulgence in al
coholic bibacy.-C Charles T. Conqdon.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Cruelty to Horses.

From Sermon by Rev. VIM. E. Gibbs
There is an instructive love for ami
mails i'll many hearts, which causes them
to pet and care most indulgently for
such as they may own. There is in 9th
ers brutal disregard for animal COM
fort, which makes them exceedingly
unkind in their treatment of such as
come under their care. Now it is, OF
should be the business of the one class
to see that the other class shall not
abuse their power.
Because a man owns a horse, he has
no right to outrage our humanity by the
ill treatment of it. No one can have
any such peculiar claim as to Justify
him in inhumanity; and when one de-
clares his right to do as he pleases with
his own, the law of righteousness gives
us the right to say he shall not do
wrong. There is no such independence
of life as can justify cruelty, or permit
it to go unrebuked. Yet we all allow
the claim of ownership to interfere Of
ten with our sense of Justice. We see
a horse abused, and his life shortened
without protest. We say, it is his
horse, and his will be the greatest loss
II hS 10 PiChIuIuiCiy hliCu, iuu ulS-
miss the whole subject. But it is Il
false position. Cruelty grows on what
feeds it, and he who is mastered by
brutal passions, SO that to-day he is
cruel to dumb animal, tomorrow
may be as cruel to you or me. An in
jury unresisted makes more probable a
worse crime. The man who uses a stake
or a pitch-fork to vent his rage against
his horse, is by SO much nearer to mur-
der when the object of his passion is a
human being. As have said, we are
creatures of habit, and it is of little OF
no consequence what fosters a cruel
disposition; the habit being formed, its
evil consequences cannot be restricted
to its original object. 1t is as likely to
turn its brutality to numbering a man
as to killing dog. tits of consequence
that we correct the disposition as near
to its first outbreak as possible. We
need more than anything else, the hab-
it of self-control, and to obtain that
we must subdue passion while it is vet
controllable. Let it get fairly rooted in
the heart, and it is weed which grows
most rapidly. No one can measure the
difficulty of suppressing it.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26

WATERMELoNS.-Bo the School of
Philosophy of Concord, and General Le
Due forwarded communications to the
Lime Kiln Club inquiring what influ-
ence the watermelon had been found to
exert on the feelings of members of the
club. The query calling for a general
discussion, the members were asked to
give their views. Sorghum Harris said
that one big watermelon had cured him
of consumption after the doctors bad
told MIN that he must die. Nevertbe-
less Brown had always noticed that
Whenever anybody around the market
gave him watermelon, he had scarcely
devoured it before he bad an almost
uncontrol liable desire to go out and
steal larger and ripper one. He be-
lieved that the watermelon had done
more to tempt the colored race to steal
than all other fruit combined. The
Rev. PenstOck said that watermelon
always had soothing influence on him,
and the bigger the melon the greater
the soothe. 1t was Just the other wav
with CarniverOus White. After eating
his fill of the luscious fruit be always
felt like going in with the Mayor to
break up a ward caucus. More than a
score of opinions were advanced pro
and con, and the president finally closed
the discussion by saying: "De Seek
retary will announce to de effeck dal
de club am unable to agree on de per.
ticker effeck produced on de mental
an fzlcal system, but it at de same time
advises de public at large not to, let a
single mellyon go to waste in dis kentrJ
fur de want of pickin' up"
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
st. Johnsbury Post Office.
ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE OF MAILS

ARRIVAL AND DEPARTURE OF NAILS
Boston and intermediate offices. Arrive 44O Z
m. Close 9:30 a m.
Boston through mail. Arrive 217 m. Close
300 pm.
New York and the West. Arrive 2:17 a m and
1206 and 4:40 p m. Close $50 m and 500 D IN.
Newport and the North. Arrive 1O15 a m
Close 400 p IN.
Portland and the East. Arrive 800 pm. Close
$3.50 m.
Swanton and intermediate offices. Arrive lois
a m. Close 400 D IN.
Waterford. Arrive $40 a m. Close 400 pm
North Danville. Arrive $50 a M Close 1890
m.
West Concord and East st. Johnsbury. Arrive
10:15 a m. Clgse 1: pm.
CHAS P. CARPENTER, I'd, p NJ
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26

MARRIED IN sPoRT.-A young man of
Lyman and young woman of Lisbon
were married in sport last July, but
after the ceremony were astonished TO
find that it had been performed by a
Justice of the peace and was therefore
legally binding. They didn't care
about being married in dead earnest.
SO they filed a petition for nullity under
the statute which provides that when
any doubt exists as to a marriage being
void a. libel may be filed and a nullitY
pronounced, and the supreme court has
Just granted their petition.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Trauelers' 6nide.
st. JOhnsbury & Lake Champlain Railroad
October 4, 1880.
TRAINS MOVING EAST


MAIL-Leaves Swanton 600 a. M, CAMBRIDGE
Junction ia, Hardwick s.24, East Hardwick ? :S6
Greensboro $40, Walden 9.l2, Danville e.35 st,
JOhnsbury arrive TO- leave lO.4O, East St Johns
bury 1854, West Concord 1.O4 Miles Pond II %
East Concord 11.33, arrives at Lunepbnre II 'z5
Portland at 557 p. m
EAPRESS-Leaves Swanton 535 D. M, Cam
Drldse . JUNCTION 1902, Hardwick s25, East Hard
WICK s.3s, Greensboro SAG, Walden 91O, Danville
s-2s, arrive st. Johnsbury 1000 p. m.
MI3ED-St. Johnsbury to Lunenburq-Leaves
St Johnsbnry Lao p. m, E. st. Johnsbury sos w.
Concord 525, Miles Pond 6 O5, E. Concord ga ar,
rive Lunenburg 6 As p. m.
TRAINS MOVING WEST
MA1L-Leaves Portland s.25 a. m. Lunenburg
LBS, p m, East Concord 1.47, Miles Pond 156'
West Concord 2.17, East st. Johnsbury 2.2s, arrive
ST. Johnsbury 240 leaves AS Danville 500 Wal
den 5.44, Greensboro Cos East Hardwick GIG,
Hardwick 6.2s. Cambridge Junction 7.4s arrives
at Swanton at 9.10p. IN.
EXPRESS-Leaves st. Johnsbury $50 a. M,
Danville 7.21, Walden 7.42, Greensboro sos ~
Hardwick s13, Hardwick s.25, Cambridge
Junction s.34, Maquam Bay Ills a. m
MIX to st. Johnsbury-Leaves
Lunenburg $50 a. m, E. Concord $50 Miles Pond
7Os, West Concord las, E. st. Johnsbury sO5, ar
rive st. Johnsbury $50 a. m.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26

YES, WHY SHOULD IT 7-The laws OF
Tennessee provide that no saloon shall
be near schOOl-house. Very good.
But why should saloon be allowed to
be near church, any more than a
schoOl-house or near dwelling-house,
or in fact, anywhere If it hurts chill
dIen while at school, it will hurt them
when out of school just the same and
if it will injure children, it will injure
men and women. The fact is, the liq-
nor saloon does no good, and it had
better not be NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. ton
Gazette.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Thanksgiving.

Praise God for wheat so white and sweet of which
make our bread
Praise God for yellow corn with which this wait.
ing world is fed
Praise God for fish and flesh and fowl he gave to
man for food
Praise God for every creature which he made and
called it good
Praise God for Winters store of ice, Praise God
for Summers heat
Praise God for fruit that bearing seed to you it is
for meat
Praise God for all that bounty by which the world
is fed
Praise God, His children all, to whom He gives
their daily bread
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Anecdote of Lorenzo Dow.

Lorenzo Dow, whose name is fresh il
the minds of many of the older inhabi.
tants, it is said, was on his way tc
preach in South Carolina, when under.
meath an old spruce tree he overlook a
colored lad who was blowing a large tin
horn, and could send forth blast with
rise and swell and cadence, which wax
ed the echoes of the distant hills.
Calling aside the blower, Dow said to
him: "What's your name 2"
MY nameP Gabriel, sir" said the
brother in ebony.
"Well, Gabriel, have you been to
Church Hill 7"
eyes, massa, Use been dar many a
time.n
'Do you remember big spruce pine
tree on the hill 2"
"Yes, massa, know dat pine tree"
"Did you know that Lorenzo Dow
had been appointed to preach under
that tree Tomorrow
80, yes, massa every body knows
dat.n
"Well, Gabriel, 1 am Lorenzo Dow,
and if you'll take your horn and go to-
morrow morning and climb up in that
pine tree and hide yourself among the
branches before the people begin to
gather, and wait there till call your
name, and then blow such a blast with
your horn as l heard you blow a minute
ago I'll give you a dollar. Will you do
it, Gabriel ?n
Eyes, massa, I takes dat dollar"
Gabriel, like Zaccheus, was hid in
the tree top in due time. An immense
cOncourse of all persons, of all sizes and
cOlors, assembled at the appointed
hour, and Dow preached on the iudg-
ment of the last day. BY his power of
description he wrought the audience up
to the highest pitch of excitement in
describing the scenes of the resurrec-
ton at the call of the trumpet peals
which were to awaken the sleeping ma
tions. "Then," said he, suppose, nv
dying friends, suppose you should hear
at this moment the sound of Gabriel's
trumpet"
Sure enough, at that moment the
trumpet sounded. The women Shrek
ed and many tainted the men sprang
up and stood aghast; some ran, and all
felt for a time that the Judgment was
set and the books were opened. Dow
stood and watched the drifting storm
till fright abated, and some one discov-
cred the colored angel who had caused
the alarm quietly perched Oh limb of
the old tree, and wanted to get him
down to whip him. Then he resumed
his theme, saying, 81 forbid all persons
present from touching that boy up
there. If a colored boy with tin horn
can frighten you almost out of your
wits, what will you do when you shall
hear the trumpet thunder from the
archangel? /? How will you be able to
stand the great wrath of God ?n
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26
Farm For Sale,

The subscriber offers for sale his farm consist
ing of about 100 acres of excellent land suitably d
vided for tillage and pasturing with sugar orchar
and plenty of saw timber for fences etc. The far1
is in good state of cultivation, well fenced cor
venient buildings and never failing running waite
to house and barns brought inlead pipe TIE farn
is well located on good road about one mile frnn
post Office and depot.
WIN. P. BREWER.
St. Johnsbu1y Centre, Nov. g. 1880.
St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-11-26

II A good story is told of President
Hayes, when the friend of an applicant
for position in the regular army press
ed his claim, with the information that
bis ancestors had been in the United
States service since the Revolutionary
war. All of sudden the president
said; 'And this young mans father,
great-grand-fathe and even more re-
mote grandfather have all been officers
of the United States 2" "Yes,n came
the reply. "Well," replied the presi-
dent with merry chuckle, "don't you
think it about time that some one in
that family earned living for him.
self?n