Claiborne guardian., 1880-08-11

made il warm for him whom he como
home and told me he'd jiued them,
but be kinder paci6ed me by telling
me they bad 3 branch show that
took In women and he'd get me 10
- soon as be found out how to do
It. Well, one night be come home
and said Id been proposed, and
somebody had black balled me. Did
it himself, of course. Didn't want
inc around knowing to his goinRs
on. OF course he didn't, and told
him 30.
"Then he jined the Sons Of Nal.
ter. Didn't SAY nothing to me about
it, hat sneaked ofi one night, pre-
tending bed got to set mp With q
sick Odd Feller, and I'D never
found il out, only he como home
looking like a nan that had been
through a thfashing machine, and
| wouldn't do a thing for him till
he owned mp. And 40 it's gone from
had to wns, and from wna to wus-
s~r, jining this and that and t'0th.
er till he's Worship Minister OF the
MasOna, and Goddess of Hope OF
the Odd Feilers, aud Sworlswal.
lerer OF the Finnegans, and Virgin
Cerus of the Grange, and Grand
Mogul of the Sous of IndOlence,
and Two-edged TOmahawk Of the
United Order of Black Men, and
Tale. bearer If the Merciful Mani.
kins, and Skipper OF the Guild Ca.
ratrine Columbus, and Big Wizard
Of the Arabian Knights, and
Pledge. passer OF the Reform Club,
aud Chief Bulger of the Irish Me-
chanics, and Purse. keeper Of the
Orler Of the Canadian Conscience,
and Double. barreiled Dictator Of
the knights Of the Brass Circle,
and standard. bearer Of the Royal
Arcbangels, and Sublime Porte of
the Onion League, and Chamber.
maid Of the Celestial Cberhbs, and
Puissant Pottntate of the Petrifed
Pig. .stickers, and the Lord only
knows what else. Pve bOru't aud
born't. hoping he'd get 'em all jined
after awhile, but 'tain't no use, and
when he'd got into a new one, and
been made Grand Guide of the
Knights Of Horror, | told him I'd
quit, and ! will"
Here the Major interrupted, say.
ing:
"Well. your husband is pretty
we'll initiated, that's a fact; but the
court will hardly call that q good
cause for divorce. The most of the
societies you mention are composed
of honorable men, and have excel
lent regulations. Many Of them
though called lodges are lelief as
sociations and mutual insurance
companies, which, if your husband
should die, would take care OF you
and would not see you snffer II you
were sick
"See me suffer when I'm sick!
Take care OF me when he's dead!
Well, I guess not; I can take care
of myself when he's dead, and II I
can't can git another. There's
plenty of 'em. Aud they neeln't
bother 'emselves when T'm sick eth.
er. II want to he sick and sniier
it's none of their business, especial
~ after all the suffering I've had
when 1 ain't sick. because of their
carryin's on. And You needn't try to
make me believe it's all right either.
! know what it ia to live with q
man that jines ~ many lodges that
he never lodges at bone, and signs
his name, Yours truly, Sam Smith,
N. NJ, l. U. o. F., X. o. B., X. Of
p, p. Of H., X. A. H., |. l. P, X.
Of X. n. c., L. E. T., H. e. r. r.
J. p, X. Y. H. etc.
"Oh, THAT'S harmless amuse ment
remarked Mr.. Huse.
She looked him square in the eye
and said:
~ believe you are jiner your.
self"
He admitted that he was to .
certain extent, aud she arose and
said: 81 wouldn't have thought it.
A man like you, chairman Of Sab.
bath school and superintendent of
the Republicans Its enough to
make a woman take pizen. But l
don't want anything Of you. l
want q lawyer that don't belong TO
nobody or nothin'." Aud she bolt.
ed out of the off3ce and inquired
where Capt. Patten kept.
MIA &nnarA NAal.