Connecticut western news., 1880-09-29
WIT AND WISDOM.

EVERY harness-maker leaves traces Of his work behind.
 CONFINEMENT and crust is better than turtle soup and dyspepsia. | By BORING man in business hours, you make him realize the value of time.
 WE DON'T know as green apples belong to any secret fraternity, yet they seem to have the grip.
 "SEPTEMBER weddings are by some regarded the luckiest." That all depends on whom you marry.
 THE MAN who sighs How soon we are forgotten ! !" has only to leave ho- tel without paying his bill to find how sadly mistaken he is.
 AN OLD lady in New Scotland, hearing somebody say the mails were irregular, said: ''It was so Tn my young days no trusting any of 'em."
 "Do WE eat too much?" asked Tue Detroit Free Press, and out of five dozen boarding house keepers sixty an- swered in the affirmative. ..
 "How shall we meet emergencies ?" asks an exchange. If the emergency is man with bill. the best way to meet it is to dodge around corner before he sees you.
 "W1TH beautiful smiles, like an arch coquette Half in tenderness, half in regret,
 The summer is looking back to-day,
 From over the hill-tops far away"
 LET those who are appointed to judge of the character of others, bear in mind their own imperfections, and drather strive by sympathy to soften the pang arising from conviction of guilt, than by mis- representation to increase 1t.
 SOME one having propounded the query, "What invention would most benefit the community at large ?" sus- picious married woman replies: GA glass so framed that when the husbands out, the wife, at home, can see what he's | about"
 A TRAMP woke up suddenly with cold sweat standing in great beads upon his forehead. "What's the matter ?" asks his compan1on. GA frightful dream I dreamt I was at work P CT told you that that last mince pie would give you horrid nightmare"
 "YEs," said the steward of the steamer, "I admit that the salt beef was bad, the potatoes rotten, the bread sour and the tea poor-but the rest of the pspvisions were good" "What were tie rest of the provisions ?" "Oh, salt. pepper and mustard"
 PROGRESS of the campaign-Sitting Bull says he is hungry. We'll, let him come in, work for the regular nominees and, if correct principles triumph, he shall have soft place. Sitting Bull has still great deal of influence with the white settlers. .-Galueston NeeOs.
 A WIFE who had been featuring her husband for coming home intoxicated became incensed at his indifference, and exclaimed, ooh, that I could bring tears of anguish from your eyes 1" To which the hardened wretch hic-coughed, "'Tain't no use, old woman, to bo-bore for water here.
 "Do YOU want to kill the childp" exclaimed a gentleman as he saw boy tip the baby out of its carriage on the walk. "No, not quite," replied the boy; "but if can get him to bawl loud enough, mother will take care of him while go and wade in the ditch with Johnny Bracerr'
 A MOVEMENTS work on clay tells more than an hours labor on brick. So work on hearts should be done before they harden. During the first six or eight years of childlife, mothers have chief sway and this is the time to make the deepest and most enduring impressions
 on the youthful mind. .....- As ONE through @ window sees not the window but that which lies beyond; as one through 8 glass sees not the tele- ! scope but the worlds outside of it so through Jesus Christ, through the physical and the instrumental, let us see the heart of God, the source of uni versal life, of love, of recuperation, oi perfection and of final salvation.
 WHEN the old sailor came home
 from a whaling voyage, he saw at once
 what ailed the preaching :-" The minis } ter's smart enough, and he says great ) many good things, but the sermon don't have any harpoon in it" The farmer } meant the same thing when he said oi
 TJo,a o11 ! but he will rake with the teeth up." THEY stopped and looked and com. f mented upon his being drunk or asleep, l Finally one said 70 come along, can'i YOU see the fellows drunk?" Up came ] the head of the drowsy individual, and t his eyes half unclosed and leered at the = man who had just spoken, as he an l swered with big oath: "Yes, Inner t drunk, but I can-er-get over that : You're (hic) fool, and you'll never l (hic) get over that"
 l IN AN action that was recently triet in an English court, when the question in dispute was as to the quality andcon n dition of gas-pipe that had been lai( S down many years before, witness t stated that it was an old pipe, and there l. fore out of condition. The judge re !, marking that "people do not necessaril. l. get out of condition by being old," tn e witness promptly answered. "They do n my lord. if buried in uue ground 
 = A CURIOUS PIoTURE.-A Hungarial | NEs.1o1 DsaL-- hoe GyicIo1 1,