Claiborne guardian. [volume] (Homer, La.) 1877-188?, 1880-03-10
A Lucky Die.

What the deuce ais me. Where
am /, anyhow Whatever | an
springs and mattresses must be
scarce for | know | am laid on some
mighty hard substance. Wonder
if it is on a dissecting boardi Won
der if | am dead! | feel nightly
like it. Maybe am stretched out
ready for the doctors to carve me.
These were my first thoughts,
very cheering, indeed, az | became
conscious. could neither speak
nor move; but soon learned that |
could hear. \ door opened, foot.
steps approached; l felt "a cloth re.
moved from my face, and voice,
which | recognized as that of my
intended tatfer.in.law, remarked:
ale hasn't changed much" and his
his companion, whose voice | re-.
cognized az Sowerby's. the under.
taker, said lightly: "There's Just
where you are mistaken, Mr.. Muf.
fms; he looks cussed sight better
dead than alive; but how does Pris.
ella feel about ii. Take on much,
eh;-
sob, no, just enough to appear
well,' said the father of my afiianc.
ed with a chuckle. "She never
cared much for Smith; twas only
his stamps that she fancied. My
Priscilla is practical girl, and
went in for his dimes. and his car.
rage and greys, although at the
same time | must own that she
was spooney on bald patcd Howard,
the artist, but he's poor as jobs
turkey, as the saying is"
"Wcll, she can have him now for
all this poor cuSs, can't she'- said
Sowcrby, beating a tattoo with his
digets on my chest"
81 presume so. but she will wait
till the year is mp, for fear of Cos.
sip. you know"
"But who gets his money, seeing
the poor cuss has no relations"
Qucried the undertaken.
sob, that's all right. You see
my Priscilla is Il sensible girl. Be.
fore she promised to marry him she
made him make his will in her ia.
vor. Poor Smith was rather sappy,
you know; had nothing against him,
however, although he was deuccdly
homely, and such barn.door of
always OPEN
"Well," said the cheerful voice of
the undertaken, "his mouth is shut
tight enough now. | reckon; he'll
never open it in this world again.
| reckon his immortal part is now
with the angels"
And my mortal part is also with
the angels, thought Ia fine pair
of angels. felt indignant at their
clumsy ridicule. tried to shut my
fist, but the devil a shut was there
TO it. | could do nothing more than
listen. He then began to measure
me for my coffin. | had often heard
that undertakers whistled joyfully
when they got n measure. ] be.
ieved it to be only a joke on their
craft; but Sowerby actually struck
mp the air, "Pull Down the Blinds"
IN subdued thrilling whistle while
he proceeded to measure me.
"A nObby casket and one hun.
1red hacks. eh. Mr.. Mullins! Must
make big thing of it. The cuss
eft lots of money, and remember |
hat he was 10 be your Priscilla's /
husband. Must make u grand |
'plnrge, Mr.. Mullins said the wor.
ny undertaken, with ali eye to his |
)wn pocket.
"Well, don't mind if the coffin
s a little nobby looking; but one
hundred hacks! The deuce! Just
'end one or two for the mourners,
md the rest who come to attend the
uneral can furnish their own rigs
n hoOf it, whichever suits them.'
They covered my face again and
eft me to my own reflections. |
lad often heard remarked that med.
tatiOn was good for the soul, and
his was the best chance ] ever had
# trying it. An hour must have
'assed and the door was again
opened and two persons came, whis,
'ering along to where / lay, and }