Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1880-07-01
4ntaaruas Aspartmeut,
AN ANIMATED CORPSE.

Several days ago an unsteady man was
noticed walking along the streea in Texar-
kama. A man simply unsteady would not
have been noticed particularly, for Texar-
kama, like Little Rock, is the scene of a
great many unsteady men. But the man
looked sick, and when he reached street
corner he sank down and lay mo,ionless.
A crowd of people gathered around, and
when a physician arrived and examined the
man, he remarked:
"Gentlemen, the poor fellow is dead"
The man was placed upon bench, and
the coroner, who had been notified, summon
ed a jury and held an inquest.
swell, gentlemen" said the coroner, after
the consultation, what is your opinion as to
the cause of death? ?"
Just then the corpse arose, thrust his hands
into his pockets and exclaimed:
81 don't know what your opinion is, but
I'd like alfred well to know who's got my
pocketbook"
The man started of, but was stopped by
have to pay expenses:
"The deuce you say. You talk like an
undertaken that has conducted funeral!'
II have held an inquest over your body,
sir and as you have behaved ridiculously
the county won't allow me anything, and of
course you will have to pay me-"
81 didn't send for you. didn't tell you
to hold an inquest. was getting along first
rate"
Neither does any dead man send for me. !"
"But wasn't dead"
"It wasn't my fault"
"Nor mine either"
"You are hypocrite, sir you are deceit
full. You should not be recognized in this
community. And / want you to understand
this When you do die don't send for me, for
would not hold an inquest over you to save
your life"
MUST Work OUT His Own sALvATroN.-
"My wife hez jes' presented me wild de fines
boy in dis country" said Black Bill, entering
Little Rock magistrate's Office, taking off
his hat and singing perspiration from his brow
with crooked fore6nger. "Yas, gentlemen, y
he went on, "de fines chile eber seed. An
Use jes' got $50 gold piece right heah ter
glib ter de man what can guess what hez
named him. Ter keep yer from spreadin'
ober de whole universe OBJ names I'll state
dat hits Bible name "Abraham - guess
ed some one. mo, sah." "Paul?' mo,
sah." "Job?" "Guess again" "Nicode-
mus?" "No, sir; keeper coming" "Abim-
elich? ?" "Try me again." The guessing
ceased after time, and finally Bill remark
ed "I'se named dat boy Judas Escarut." !"
"What" said the magistrate, "Judas betray-
ed our Saviour" Cant help dat OATS
de boys name. Judas hez been sighted.
Nobody hez eber he'd the immoral courage
to name chile fur dat man. But dat amt
de main reason why names him Judas
Use got de Bible ter stain me in givin' de
chile dat name" "How does the Bible sus
tain you in desiring to perpetuate that name
asked the magistrate. "Hit's de fax Chris.
in remarkin' of Judas, said dat it would hab
bin hetter fur dat man eff he hadn't been
born" "Well2' can considerin' how many
moufs is opened at the doc when goes home
wild side ob meat, it would hab been better
fur dat boy oh mine eff he had neber seed de
daylight. | knows what Use talkin' about
| take de Scriptur fun de reference In de
intur, eff l finds dat de boy hez made a
improvement on hisself, den Ill change his
name ter Jim" ."-Little Rock Gazette.
For THE CREDIT OF THE FAMILY.-A
young gentleman was passing a little girl on
Seventh street recently who was sitting on
the door-steps humming over tune. He was
interested by the sweet and Intelligent ap-
pearance of the child, and accosting her, the
following dialogue took place:
Sissy, what's your pas name?'
This was politely answered by the little
girl.
"How many brothers have your"
"Four or five"
"How many sisters?"
"Four or 6ve"
The young mans curiosity being satisfied
he passed on. The mother of the little four
year old (who had neither brother or sister,
overheard the conversation, and calling her
in asked her why she had storied to the man,
and received the following cute reply:
"Well, mamma, I didn't want the gentle
man to think we were 80 poor as to have no
children"