Litchfield enquirer., 1880-05-13
CLIPPINGS,

It is sickly sentiment that advises young doctors to have patience.
 An indication of spring-A schoolboy put ting bent pin in his teachers chair
 The Arab who invented alcohol died 900 years ago, but his spirit still lives.
 "I die content" sad the fly in the bakers dough; somebody will take me for cur rant"
 The reason David employed sling on Goliah was because he couldn't get any giant powder.
 To parties who are unable to express their feelings We would suggest the matter of send ing them by freight
 The New York papers report the arrest of Henry 5. Leon for burglary in that city. Henry gave Danbury as his residence. Henry should be just before he is generous.
 "What are you writing such big hand for, Pat ?" "Why, you see that my grandmother is dafe, and am writing a loud letter to her."
 The compositor on Philadelphia new'- paper, by displacement of space, informed the masses of that city that Mr.--would ad- dress them asses at National Hall
 OuouSC 10 SOlucu AuuG-'f1aS anyone been at these preserves?" (Dead silence. "Have you touched them, Jenny ?" Jemmy Pa never lows me to talk at dinner"
 After sharp flash of lightning the other day, little five-year old Essex boy looked up to his mother and said Mamma, I guess God scratched pretty big match that time don't you?'
 "l should like to see somebody abduct me-" said Mrs. Smith at the breakfast table the oth- CT morning. "H'm? SO should I, my dear. so should l." sald MT. Smith, with exceeding earnestness.
 The many good qualities possessed by a narrow minded man, like the ten command ments engraved on three cent piece, may be all there, but 1t requires powerful magnify ing glass to detect them readily.
 The fear of infection caused some persons at Memphis to burn all their clothing, and even the prayer-book of deceased fever patient was consigned to the flames; but six $1O bills found on his person were religiously preser,- ed.
 A typographical error, which appeared re- gently in an English newspaper, shows how much hangs upon a single letter: The an nouncement was made: ''The Liberals of Marylebcas have repaired all the brooches in their ranks and have buckled on the armor of battle."
 Charles Lamb says a speaker should not at- tempt to express too much, but should leave something to the imagination of his audience ana ne tells how, being called on to return thanks for toast to his health, he rose, bowed to hls audience. said, "Gentlemen. {" and then sat down leaving it to their imagination to supply the rest.
 Johnny wanted to go to the circus and bis tath' said: Johnny I'd rather you'd 20 to school, and study, and maybe you'll be presi. dent some day" Said Johnny: Father there's about one million boys in the United States isn't there?" ''Yes :" And every one of them stands chance of being pres- dent?" "Yes" "Well dad, I'll sell out my chance for a circus ticket"
 The patient preacher plods along
 Through theologic deeps,
 The while the deacon, bless his soul.
 Bows down his head and sleeps. Syracuse Tunes. And when the preacher takes a rest
 From theologic matter.
 The drowsy deacon rises up |. And passes round the platter.
 Rome Sentinel.
 Charles Lamb was in the habit of wearing white cravat, and in consequence was some tileS .@Aon i0r cierSynan. Once, at din- ner table, among larger number of guests his white cravat caused such mistake to be made, and he was called upon to ''say grace" IS there no c-c-clergyman present?" "No SIT" answered guest s'Th-then." said Lamb, bowin his head, ''Iet us thank God.' You must not play with that little girl my dear, said an injudcious parent. But ma, like her; she is good little girl, and i an sure she dresses as pretty as ever do. and she has lots of toys" '.I cannot help that. my dear" replied the foolish mother, s.her father is shoemaker" 'sBut don't play with her father, play with her; she ain't a shoe