, 1880-08-09
The New Departure at Bcbee's
Corners.

Tne new departure AT DoDee
Corners.
Bright and early yesterday morning
q blunt-spoken, hearty-looklng FIST cit
izen Of Bebee's Corners made his ap-
pearance on Griswold street to look
out some lawyer who would deliver the
Fourth of July Grafton at the Corners
He was business and no fo0ling. He
had been deputized BY his fellow-oiti-
zens to make all oratorical arrange
ments, and he had decided ideas - to
the sort of address wanted. He was
put in communication with . young at
torney who had an address Of 100 pages
of foslscap all written out for such an
occasion. After few preliminary re-
marks the delegate began:
"Does your address refer to the
struggles of our forefathers p
"Oh, yes; 1 have seventeen distinct
references to their perils, struggles and
triumphs."
"Knock 'em right ont then-cross
out every one of them! Every fool in
the country knows that our forefathers
had to struggle. OF course they did;
it was their business to; they have had
all tho praise due 'em, and Rebee's
Corners won't give 'em another word. -"
Well, suppose I can leave out
our forefathers, humbly replied tie
orator.
Every we'll. Now, what have you
in your address in regard to General
Washington ?"
"Well, I probably mention him
forty or fifty times. Washington was
q great man. and we must not forget
him"
"Strike lin right out!" was the fat
command. " Washington was a great
and good man. Bsbee's Corners is as
loyal as any town in America, but we've
had Washington till we can't rest"
The orator made note of that, also,
and the other continued;
81 presume you have put in boom
for the Declaration of Independence ?"
Yes, never heard of Fourth of
July Grafton with that left out"
"Then you are going to learn some
thing new. Bebee's Corners would
howl all day over the sight Of an Amer
lean flag if there was any call for it,
but ws're going to take new depart
ure. No Declaration of Independence
in our Grafton this year. Scratch 'er
right out"
"That doesn't leave NE five minutes
talk" said the attorney as he made q
calculation. "All / have left are q few
remarks on the Pilgrim Fathers"
"Thsn knock the Pilgrim Fathers
higher than kite before you forget u.
We've been Pilgrim Fatherea to death
in this country"
"What kind of an Grafton do you
want up there3" asked the lawyer, as
his heart began to sink.
"That's what I'll tell you. Can you
singf
mo"
Then you are out in the cold. We
want an Grafton lasting just ten min
utes. We want q sentimental song to
lead off, and funny one to end with.
The remarks between the songs can
range all the way from "Danisl in the
Lions Den"to " Pop Goes the We .sel, y
but they must be funny. We are a
laughing set up there. We go in
heavy on conundrums, and we make
some OF the best puns going. We shall
want, say ten puns, ten conundrums.
two songs and something to warrant
about five grins and from seven to ten
regular old side-splitters, and the terms
will be SIS cash on the nail. Are you
the man?'
"I-I guess not, was the faint re-
ply.
"Au right-'nuff said. I'll move On
to the next, and if I can't strike the
chap in this town I'll sail down to To-
ledo. Bebee's Corners is going to git
up and howl this year, and don't you
forgit it!'-Detr0u Press.