The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1880-03-20
ANARoAD1AN REVENGE.

|
my talents, while you possess talents this
are considerably above what is necessar
I-ahem-to a person Of your condition {
life."
This amazing speech was addressed
me contidentially in the smoking room c
our common club one night, by Mr.. Dorm
oway-Dicke, after we had dined togethe
for the first time. Itwas late in August
the club was empty, and / had invite,
him to join tables, though ! knew him I,
be an ass, rather than to dine alone. TIL
bad man may takea solitary meal withou
moral damage, and even to the public ad
vantage, since the custom is unwholesome
and tends to shorten life; but to the goot
man it is harmful. His thoughts, constan
as the needle to the pole to what is pure
and good, are naturally attracted to him
self, and his benevolent actions his excel
lent motives, his whole blameless career
pass in review before his eyes, and he be
comes self.conscious and self.complacent
Rather than run the risk Of this, having
ordered my own modest repast, / looked
up at Dornoway.D icke, who, with hisglass
painfully fixed In his eye, was scanning
the same "limited carte" for the day, in
doubt las I guessed) about the French
dishes, and observed, "Shall we dine to.
gether?" and he replied courteously,
Charmed, / am sure.o
As matter OF fact Mr.. Dornoway-D icke
was man not easy 10 charm; it was not
in genius Though up to that date don't
think it ever had tried it) to do so; and
believe even Beauty herself would have
failed in the attempt, unless she had had
a title to back her.
Mr.. Dicke's weakness was for lord, a
very common one, OF course, but in his
case unusually pronounced. His CONVEX
sation was studded with titles as the firma-
ment is with stars, and he was in respect
to them what Mr.. Carlyle, in relation to
spiritual things, calls terribly at ease in
Zion;" that is, he was shockingly familiar
with earls and viscounts, while as TO baro-
nets, he would refer to them by their
Christian names. To say that his views
upon all matters were commonplace would
have been fattering 10 his intelligence;
they were conventional to sublimitv.
"Ghost stories are absurd, argues Cole
ridge, "because, though men tell us they
have had such experience, il man did
really ever see what he actually believed
TO be a ghost, idiUcy would at once super.
vene." But firmly believe that Dorno.
way-Dicke would have seen ghost
without the least injury TO his Intellectual
powers, not because he was already an
idiot, but Independently of that because
so unconventional q subject as the super
natural had never entered his mind. If
the ghost had title, then, indeed, an i'm.
preston might have been made; but it
would have been produced by his TEN.
poral, not his spiritual lordship. In all
matters which exercise the human miad,
from theology TO American bowls, he took
not the iaintest interest, but had been
iniormed-and -warned-that upon the
subject OF the dignity and position OF the
Dornoway-Dicke family, he could, and
would. be very diffuss, II you were not
careful. He was man, in short, to nod
to but not to speak with, unless the means
Of escape were handy. Still, late in
August, at a London club, one can not
afford to be particular; and having such
strong moral reasons for not dining alone,
had to dine with Dornoway-Dicke.
There was one circumstance, however,
which really did attract me toward this
gentleman and made me wish for closer
acquaintance. 1t was much.debated
question in the club whether he wore a
wig or not and wanted TO solve 1t. II
he did so flor even alter dining with him
was not sure) they wear the best wigs
that ever were. Isay wigs, because he
must have had lots OF them, for his hair
was sometimes short and sometimes long,
and sometimes just as II ought TO be in
the case oil a fashionable young gentleman
of fiity:four. For there was this disadvan.
tage about the distinguished position OF
the Dornoway-D ickefamily, that, being in
the peerage-thoughit must be confessed
In q very remote and "presump:ive"
fashion-the mans age was known to a
nicely. There was then this point las to
his wig) to be clearedup, which promised
me some little excitement, and / was also
curious whether he talked OF "the Land"
as lift were alive, which was assured he
did. My information upon this point, as
turned out, was correct. The one SUI
preme effort OF originality which Mr.. Dor
noway-Dicke had made was to personity
the landed interest in this peculiar fashion.
"What the Land wants, sir" he would
observe, very slowly and majestically 100
that you had plenty Of time to suggest to
yourself "top.dressing, "coprolites" and
what not), "what the Land wants, sir" The
always repeated this charming phrase sis
fair play -
1.-THE Landn wanted SO many things in
the course OF our conversation at dinner
that ! had begun to think it somewhat ex
acting, and indeed TO get littleimpatient
OF Mr.. Dornoway-Dicke himself. But
am never, or at least hardly ever, dis
courteous, and though bored to extremi
ty, like a wooden ship exposed to the &C
ton OF the teredo navalis, ] endured It as
though had been made OF iron. had
asked the man to dinner, and In one sense
had certainly paid forit, so felt constrain
ed by the duties OF hospitality 10 be civil
till the meal was over. When II was finish
ed and we repaired 10 the smoking room
| had no such scruple. "The Vino" say
the classic author, ais the Evoker o
Truth" and this Is even still more the
case with the cigar. Imagine, then, m!
Indignation at that amazing remark OF my
companion: ii, for example, occupy !
position in the country beyond my tai
ents; while you possess talents that ar
considerably above what is necessary
ahem-to a person in your condition il
life."
TPray," said |, "Mr. Dornoway. Dicke
oonfine your observations toyoprself, a
Won generally do. AS TO your talents,
have no reason to doubt your own mod
est estimation OF them, but as to your pc
sltion in the country, Twas not aware tina
you had any,
! hope this Is not rude. Ispoke in th
gentlest tones Of which the human yoic
/, I-or, at all events, my voice-is capable
and in manner that was certainly wiz