Lexington weekly intelligencer. (Lexington, Mo.) 1871-1887, 1880-11-06
MRS. MoWILLIAMS AND THE LIGHT
MING.

OF his talk, "tne lear OIL llgDLllnS IL
one of the most distressing intirmitiet
a human being can 10 afflicted with
1t is mostly confined to women ; but
nov and then you will find i. in 8
little dog, aud sometimes i'll y maj
1t is a particularly distressing in
FIRMLY, for the aso that it takes
the sand out of a person to All ex'
ten which no other e can, and ii
can't be reasoned with, and neither
can it be shamed cut of q person. A
woman who could face the very devil
| hilnself-er a mouse-loses her grip
aud goes all TO pieces in front of a
flash of lightning. Her fright is
something pitiful to sec.
"Well, as 1 was telling yeu, l woke
up with that smOthered aud unlo.
catable cry of Mortimer Mortimer!'
wailing in my ears. aud as soon as
could scrape my faculties together /
| reached over into the dark and then
said:
"EvapgeIine, is that you calling
What is the matter? Where are
you ?"
.'Sbut up in the boot closet. You
| ought to be ashamed to lie there and
sleep SO, and such an awful storm
going on" ioan
"Why, how can one be ashamed
when he is asleep ? 1t is unreasonable;
one can't be ashamed when he is
asleep, E%vangeline."
"You never try, Mortimer; you
know very well you never try"
l caught the sound of muf1ed sobs.
That sound smote dead the sharp
speech that was on my lips, and /
changed it to
"I'm sorry, dear,-I'm truly sorry.
[ v meant to act so. Come back
and"-
Mortimer
"Do you mean to say you are in
that bed yeti"
"Why, OF course"
"Come out of it INSTANTLY. l should
think you would take some little
care of your life, for my sake and the
childreu's, if you will not for your
own"
"But my love"-
"Don't talk to nae, Mortimer. You
know there il no place SO dangerous
AS a bed, In such q thunderstorm as
lhis-all the books say that; yet there
you would lie and deliberately throw
away your life-fer goodness knows
what, unless for the sake of arguing,
,nd"-
-S"But, confound it, Evangeline, Pm
not in the bed, new. PM
[Sentence interrupted by a sudden
glare of lightning, followed by a ter
ritied little scream from Mrs. Nc
WIiliams and a tremendous blast of
thuuder.]
There! You seq the result. Oh,
Mortimer, how can you be 80 profit
gate as to swear at such u time as
This 2"
II didu't swear. Aud that wasn't
d result of it anyhow. 1t would have
come, just the same, if 1 hadn't said
4 word aud you know very well,
Evaugelinc-at least you ought to
know whom the atmosphere is
charged with electricity
"Oh, yes. now argue it, and argue
lit. aud argue it l don't see how you
can act Sc. when you know there is
.rot a lightning-rod on the place, and
your poor wife and children are abb
-olutely at the mercy of Providence.
What are you doing? Lighting a
match at such a time as this! Are
you stark mad :"
"Hang it, woman, where's the
harm? The place is as dark as the
inside Of an infidel, and"--
"Put it outl put it out instantly !
Are you determined to sacrifice us
all? You know there is nothing
that attracts lightning like a light.
[Fzt-crash boom = bolsom-boom-
boom Il Oh just hear it! Now you
see what you've done !"
mo; l don't see what I'vs done. A
match may attract lightning, for all
know, but it don't cause lightning
Phi go odds Oh that. And it didn't
attract it worth . cent this time ; for
if that shot was leveled at my match,
it was blessed poor marksmanship-
about an average of mono out of a
possible million. l should say. Why,
at Dollynsunt, such Workmanship
as that O.
"For shame, Mortimer! Here we
arc standing right in the very pres
ence of death, and yet in so solemn a
moment you are capable of using
no desire te-Mortimer ]"
EgssSv Oil .-.-." aAIllAf@ y ~
Did you say your prayers to-
night?"
''I-I-meant to, but got to trying to
cipher out how much twelve times
thirteen is, and"-
Observation-Disclosures! bum
bIe-umble bang smash!1
"Oh, we are lost, beyond all help !
How could you neglect such a thing
at such q time az this 2"
But it wasn't such q time as this
There wasn't a cloud in the sky.
How could l know there was gsing
to be all this rumpus and pow WOW
about a little slip like thatP And l
don't think its just fair for yeu to
make SO much out of 1T any way,
seeing it happens SO seldom; l haven't
missed before since l brought on
that earthquake, four years ago"
"Mortimerl How you talE! Have
you forgotten the yellow fever r"
"My dear, you are always throwing
up this yellow fever 10 me, and 1
think it is perfectly unreasonable.
You can't even send a telegraphic
message as far as Memphis without
relays, SO how is q little devotional
slip of mine going to carry so far.
Eli stand the earthquake because it
was in the neighborhood; but I'll be
hanged il I'm going to be RESPONSE
BILE for every blamed"-
[fzt-boom beroom-boom-bang u
"Oh, dear, dear, dear! l know IT
struck something, Mortimer. We
never shall see the light of another
day, and if it will do you any good to
remember, when we are gone, that
your dreadful l~anguage-Msrtimer 2"
"Well! What now ?"
Your voice sounds as if-Morti-
mer, + you actually standing in
front OF that open Fireplace 2"
That is the very crime l am COM
miiting."
Get away from it this moment.
You do seem determined 10 bring
destruction Oh US all. Don't you
know that there is no better conduc.
tor for lightning than all open chim-
ney? Now where have you got 10 2"
81 am here by the window"
"Oh, for PHYS sake, have you lost
your mind? Clear out from there
this moment. The very children in
arms know it is fatal to stand near q
window in 4 thunder Storm. Dear,
dear, l shall never see the light of
another day. Mortimer 2"
"Ycs."