The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1880-07-23

Portersvillc Abstracfo Telephone !:
Click! click. click! That's the light.
ming typo-Brif. Leming il At the ease.
| oh. Brit ~. L." SAY. how's Your f,ot (?
Come out Ia your II. Is the cditor-in-
chief san"tnm sanctormed? "Noi" Is
his sub insiend ~ ? Yes. bur .leepetl,''
Slecpeth. Where? "Close hy." Please
put the drum 10 his cars aud see W We
cant waketh him. Ready : .All's ready. \
Spirit IL Benz Franklin arise! No hear.
Cheese : hatrack cheese No awaking
A delinquent subscriber Holy murder.
what roaring Tor hoof-iack. Crupp's
latest aud rope. "Where Is he Tina Y"
Every where Int IN the pcnitentary.
l"Whaf about him?" Everything except
cash and it's equivalent. "Whoi> il any
wav?" Why, it's myself. 20. goi darn
you. 20 on with your say" Well. egg
oi-tnrte was Ia town last week aul thu
inundated, who yentUred TO ny them.
went 70 New York.
Mr.. Allen Mcdonald went TO Cincin
matt last Monday to have his eyes oiaer-
ated upon. Wetrust he will return with
them fully restored.
Nature desperately attempted to com :
init FREAK upon an unsuspccting cen
sus-t ker.
The famous antitrimtarian steam
thresher Is nearing the close Of his mis-
sion, and with success thu Is simply
astonishing.
The hay crop Is very abundant and is
about all cut.
| A detachment Of the army Of the
shadow are bivonacing in a corn-feld Al
the edge Of town and are doing some tall
shooting. Tho Generals are William.
Edwards and Mathis.
Mr.. Adam Rudolph il dangerously III
with the energetic's. and talks building.
That's the kind Of sick 10 have.
| It's war 10 the prickly brier twixi
some Of the owners Of blackberry patches
and foreign invaders. but the latter
seems 10 be victorious
Mr.. Christian Rudolph is up to his
ears in The live pork business. He took
a car LOAF 10 Cincinnati last Monday.
The best fwinncr Of the age il our
Mrs. Luna. only II pairs (and had their
pictures takenl since January last.
|" You story. Una; II pairs. you story.
you story: we won't stenograph H. n
Why that's nothing. for we have known
Mrs. L. 10 be EcLIPsED. Young man, we
have just thought the reason why Won
don't want TO note IL: it's because You
went little west Of town with her when
she was thcre--not only YOU. but several
others. Don't know the woman. "
story. YOU story: we never. we never
Just keep your neither garment on.
and don't expose yourself Amt you
got one Of her non.spurions almanic
albums? "No; false. scl,idalnns:" we
know better. Hunt IL up and look ~
her picture anil those OF her genilnls
and then see if we story.
Mr.. Joseph Sweeney passed through
here last Saturday. He was on hi wa,
he said, 10 see that Cincinnati gal ofE
his'n.
Whatsoever onr srrfion nay lack IN
other things. u docs not lack ll'a' ~ NJ
splendid male vocalist. His name iSI
Mr.. David Gatche.
Ono ~ those phenomenal buggy arri-
dents thar makes a 'vanring death retreat
In disgust. aud question the eternal
fitness ~ things in this world Of ours.
occurred ONE dav last week. Mr.. Adam
Rridrnhan~h was coming to town In \
buggy. which was drawn Nv horse moi
noted. we heard. for other than gentle
mess. so much so we understand. that the
driver became totally disarmed of all
suspicion and careicssly came ahead.
re hadn't come very far, however. be-
fore unsupported took to phanfasmago-
lrisag from some cause or other. and
struck out M rather unusual speed. so
Iunnsual. that he overturned the buggy,
threw out the driver. and took d roll
himself The driver IL IL reported had
tine great presence OF mind. after his
throw. to jump upon the lying down
horse. m. sed his hand TIeavenward and
exclaimed: Saved The buggy was but
little damaged. Moral--never trust to
animal gentility.
Mr.. Brook Edmonsfon came 10 town
last week when the natural spirit Of mis-
lchievesness ran high with some Of our
boys. and was no sooner spotted when
they cllared him aud tried to put turtle
into one Of his pants pockets, which had
IA bottom outlet.
Pat Webb Is Investigating. lie recciv-
led mysterious blade with the rather
|ominous expression Of gratitude. thank
God upon 1t. It's the thank God that
gets him. Una.
In Towx.--Mr. Joseph Armstrong.