The Dallas daily herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1873-1887, 1880-04-27
BRYAN.
C,rresl ondenoO OF tho Herald.


BRYAN, April 30, 1880.
ST. Peter, who is reported to have charge
of the KEYS of the gates Of heaven, has been
SO careless of late in the discharge of his duty,
that the final result will doubtless create n
bone of contention between Dallas and Bry-
an. The HERALD has already recorded the
fact that those gates were left ajar last Thurs
day night and girl baby found its way iown
10 The residence Of Mr.. W. II. Flippen. On
Friday night, the clerk whose duty it was to
close up the egress and ingress thoroughtare
of the celestial establishment, was in such n
hurry to practice "Baby Mine" upon new
harp that had been presented to him during
the day, that be neglected to barricade the
epress department, and the consequence was
a bow baby escaped from the baby mine and
registered himself for board at the residence
of Mr.. Hiram Morrison. The people
of BRYAN do not object to receiv-
ing these celestial visitors, but doubtless by
next June tho families of Messrs Flippen
and Morrison will have removed to Dallas.
Now the man who expects to take the cen
sns in Dallas very well knows that in order
tn make much Of " showing in population
for YOUR city ms against Bryan, he has got to
canture those two babies. Then he expects
To strut all around Dallas and brag that he
was the means OF Bryan losing part of her
senses. We can plainly see through his sinis-
for designs here, and are determined 10 pre-
vent II. Mayor Thurmond has got TO come
ont in a card in the HERALD disclaimihg my
attentions of the kind upon the part of Dali
las, or we are going to declare quarantine
and keep those two families here until after
the CENSUS is taken. You may think you are
ali smarties because you found mastodon
homes and we didn't, but when it comes to
discussing this census business you Will ma
wo can be as Flippen-t as any OF you.----,-
Having plenty of leisure time on frdaI
stepped into an establishment on MAN
street and got back as near the SAFE as
could without exciting suspicion and took
seat. AS all hands were busy at the time,
commenced looking around ut the scenery.
| noticed several pairs OF pants, with noles
in the basement, hanging upon the WALL
which | suppose were intended for summer
wear. when everybody pants from the eN'
cessive heat, and endesvors to find relief IN
the arduous labor of taking lemonade with
q stick in it. Then | noticed II box on the
saf, labeled, "Try 1880 cigar" Fearing they
would get offended if | didn't do so, tried
one In fact, as 10 one moved the Dox,
inst concluded it was standing invitation
and kent on trying them. The box was
about full when commenced, and wnen L
had tried about half of them, the proprietor
came back and politely remarked, What
in the al are you doing" | replied
meekly that WAS trying those 1850 cigars.
He raised the lid, looked in, and said, You
are irving them, are you? Didn't You try
10 Get away with all of them? VIII you be
kind enough to leave me- the box when 1t Is
emptys | would like at least to have the
label" Ididn't like the way he spoke ana =
arose with glance of scorn IN my eye ana !
a cigar in nv mouth, and told him he could
have the whole business, as far as was coz
oerhed, but the next time smoked win Dim
upon a standing invitation be would know y;
he sort of chuckled as passed out ana saiG :
he reckoned he would.-0n Friday night !
attended another mite meeting al the resi-
dence Of Mrs. Gussie Thomas, given undei
the auspices Of the Methodist church, some
times can't see very well and didn't discover
the mite box until Mrs. Thomas showed II t
me. | admired it and said something aoou
its being unique in design and was turning
away when she said she thought had LOT
gotten something. l told her proosoly
had. but | would go home and get i II sn'
would tell me what II was. She said II wa
customary 10 drop something 10 the box.
had a cigar stump in my hand and though
she alluded TO that, and quietly dropped II 10
A number Of ladies favored Us win mus