Sacramento daily record-union. [volume] (Sacramento [Calif.]) 1875-1891, 1880-12-17
ODDS AND ENDS.

An Indian squaw sometimes makes her
lords wig-wa'm.
"Another hotel gone up" said tramp
as he gszed on burning straw-stack.
The eternal fitness of things" will &C.
casionally drop out. Nell & Colley are
Florida undertakers.
A man has invented chair that can be
adjusted to 500 different positions. 1t is
designed for boy to sit in when he goes
to church.
Henry Clay Dean has been interviewed
concerning the recent election. The re-
porter who dug down to the Dean deserves
great credit.
" Empty Is the Cradle, Baby's Gone, is
the title of the latest serio-idiotic song. 1t
will probably be followed by Empty Is
the Bottle, Papa's Full.
Square umbrellas have been introduced
in Paris, but some one says they are just
as bad as the old kind. because they ale
never round when wanted.
There are now in New England 5000
reaping machines, and more than 1000
thrashing machines, of which 374 are
worked by steam power.
Railroad accidents have their use IN the
| world They give thousands OF young nus
bands an excuse for not taking their newly
| welded wives upon bridal tour.
At ball-Matchmaking mamma ito her
manageable daughterl: Virginia dear,
don't lose sight of that gentleman in
mourning. He may be widower."
One of the saddest features of the late
election is the fact that the Boston papers
considered it necessary to state just how
each member of the Adams family voted
"Cantatrice Yes, "Bliss Forever
Past" is good song and suitable to your
style of beauty. We do not know why
Bliss passed, but probably he never could
ill his hand.
When YOU see man take off his hat to
YOU, it is sign that he respects you; but
when lie ia seen divesting himself OF his
coat, You may make up your mind that he
intends to make you respect him.
4 bright little girl, who had success.
fully spelled the word 50 that" was asked
by her goyernesz What would remain after
the 'sf' had been taken away. The
dirty cups and saucers, was the reply
POTTERY Gazette.
He was 20 and she was Is, and they
were on their wedding tour. He pointed
out to her the beautiful scenery and said :
ave may have many anniversaries OF this
occasion" eyes" she answered, "you
will probably live long enough to have
tin wedding"
Base ball, it will be remembered by old
settlers, is a game played by eighteen per
sons wearing shirts and drawers. They
scatter around the field and try to catch a
cannon ball covered with rawhide. The
game is to get people to pay two shilllngs
to come inside the fence.-[ Milwaukee Sun.
Alexander Mouton, Ex-Governor OF
Louisiana, is the oldest United States SEN
ator now living, having served in that body
under the administration of General Jack.
son. Although an octogenarian, he retains
his faculties, mental and physical, in re-
malkable degree, except his vision, which
is somewhat impaired
A man in a prayer-meeting at Great
Springs, Ca, declared that he was ready
to die, and awaited the summons with i'm
patience. He had barely uttered the sen
timent when bullet crashed through the
window and grazed his ear. A neighbor,
whom he had sued for debt, had taker
him at bis word. He hastily hid himself
under bench.
A lady with fatal squint came once to
fashionable artist for her portrait. He
looked at her and she looked at him, and
both were embarrassed. He spoke first
"Would your ladyship permit me, he
said, to take the profile? There is a
certain shyness about your ladyship's eyes
which is as difficult in art as it is fascinat.
ing in nature"
The New Haven Register is moved to
remark that sit isn't SO easy to tame a
comet after ALL Professor Swift's last adj
dition to his celestial menagerie has broken
out of its cage, crawled under the canvas
and got away, and all the Professor has @
show for it is few feathers of its tail thu I
were punched off by sledge hammer
thrown at it by the boy who runs the pea.
nut stand"
The Anglican chaplain of the Marbeuf,
Paris, says rather diseouragingly that he
is convinced that, if France is to have a
religious reformation, it must come in the
shape of the new Gallican Church, which
Father Hyacinthe is seeking to build up.
To call this movement by a Protestant
name, he says, would be to kill it, for the
people have an unconquerable prejudice
against Professionalism.
/ saw cow-hide in the grass
A rush-light the floor;
I saw a candle stick in mud,
And bell-pull on the door.
saw a horse fiy in the air,
COW slip in the lane.
saw Bulrun in the South,
a rope-walk on the pla n.
Cassel's Natural History" is respon.
sible for the best of parrot stories. A prize
show of these snowy birds was held IN the
north of England After many Others had
been brought forward in front of the judges,
one bird, on having its cover removed, won
the prize by reclamation. Looking around
on the company into which it had been so
suddenly introduced, it exclaimed "By
Joye what lot of parrots :"
a odd Grimes is dead-thAt good old man
We ne'er shall see him more;
He used to wear long tailed coat,
AL buttoned down before"
Why mourn fer Grines-h his daughters live:
| On Fashions streets find EN-,
And still hey wesr !" Old Grimes coat"
All buttoned down behind EN-.
All unpreiudiced persons will Join in
subscribing to the fund to be used in buy
ing cake for Mile. Litta, as slight token
of the public's appreciation OF her genius
in getting herself advertised as lost in the
wilds of Texas just before commencing an
engagement in Chicago. We admire the
merit. and the getting yourself lost dodge
so far lays over having seaiskin sacque
that all actresses will at once see the neces-
sity of adopting it hereafter whom free ad-
ye-..i-::as i .-ese-sary. lClis-sc T.iSule.