Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1880-09-02
TAKING BOARDERs.
The Consequences of Taking
BOarders ~Just 10 Keep
Up the Table"

"AAS W nun a lew MockS Since, rs ne
sat out on the shady veraHda reading
the evening paper, with his heels on
the railing and his head and shoulders
in the seat Of the chair. "Mr. Green,
l have a notion to take a few board
ers."
Better take a dose of dynamite
first, my dear" was the serene reply,
and the cruel husband pulled away at
his pipe you can gather some idea
then Of the strength of your Constitu-
ton"
DO talk sense, John, for once in
your life" was the lady's reply. "You
talk that way now, but you would be
the first one to say: Maria, why in
the name of goodness didn't we think
Of it before l know you 1t would
be we then certain, because you
always want to claim the credit Of
everything. Now just listen to what
l am going to say. am going to take
a few boarders y concluded Mrs.
John, who possesses a good share of
decision of character. Il don't in
tend to take many-just a few to keep
up a better table and have a little
company at home"
Pater familias had reiterated in short
order, and left her in possession Of
the field. The very next morning a
card was put in the family paper I'M
der the head of "Wanted." Mr.. Green
read it, and it knocked his dreams of
serene and slippered ease into all the
hOrried chaos of nightmare.
"a gentleman and wife residing on
a beautiful suburban street, conven-
lent to the street cars, will take a few
quietly disposed bOarders at reason
able rates. Address, X. Y. r., this
Office"
lie showed it to the author, and be-
sought her to %relent, but she was adai
mant, and nothing was left him but
submission or divorce. He chose the
former, hoping she would repent be-
fore she bankrupted him, and the very
next morning everything wal ar
ranged. A quiet, sanity looking
young man, a retired merchant, and
a meek-appearing little widow en-
gagged rooms, the grocer and the
butcher deposited a quantity of stuff
in the pantry, and the amateur board
ing house fairly started. Supper was
finished without accident or incident,
and the happy family sought their re-
spective rooms. The host and hostess
sat awhile discussing the new depar-
ture, Now, John, | reckon you are
willing to concede that we will get
along nicely. The new boarders are
all hat could'be desired. Mr.. Rob-
ner is one of the p~leasantest gentle
men | aver saw. Mr.. Bilks is Just
too nice, and that little Mrs. Blank is
one Of the quietest, most unassuming
little women | ever - just at this
juncture there came a gentle rap on
the door, and the soft voice of the
little widow enquired, PLEASE, will
youlend me your tooth brush? l
wouldn't disturb you, but mine is
packed away down in the bottom of
my trunk"
If chain lightning had struck her
Mrs. Green could not have been more
astOunded. Mr.. Green was perfectly
composed. He said simply why
lend it to her, my dear, and maybe
you had better ask her if she don'twant
your front teeth.
The tooth brush was handed out,
and the couple were just falling off
into a peaceful slumber, when a wild
toot-tay-toot resounded through the
house, and with a shrill scream Maria
sprang from the bed, but John Gained
her fears by telling her it was only
young Mr.. Bilks practicing on the
%cornet. For two motal hours, all the
horrors Of Yankee Doodle" Star
Spangled Banner" and "Sewanee
River" were poured into the
ears of the suffering Mrs.
g., and breathing a silent prayer of
thanks, when at last he had con-
cluded, tired nature asserted its
claims and sweet sleep was kissing her
eyes. But suddenly she starts. A
regular saving noise is heard. Her
half conscious mind leads her at first
into the belief that it is a Mississippi
darby saving gourds with a rip saw,
but she is finally forced to the con-
clusion that it is made by some one
saving the blinds with a crosscut saw.
John" she exclaims, excitedly,
shaking him vigorously "Listenlo
"Lemme lone, Mira, an go t'sleep,"
he mumbles, turning away.
But the strange sound increases.
Maria feels her hair rise on end, and
calculates that five minutes more will
find the burgular with a knife at her
throat. John, for heavens sake
wake up" she says in a shrill whisper
with her lips in his ear. Don't you
hear them breaking in the house ?"
"Oh, Maria, will you never let up?"
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