Connecticut western news., 1880-11-24

and pet the full benefit of this offer.
 -The slanderous rumor which has gained credence in this community, concerning one of our young men, is pronounced without any foundation in fact, and the NEWS, as the champion ofjustice and good morals, cheer fully lends it's aid in clearing the young man from suspicion which renders his relation to our community not only unpleasant to him, but'also to his friends.
 -.Is the NEWS thankful for anything?" You can wager your saccharine existence it is. It IS thankful, firstly, that it is endowed with Job-lke patience and spirit of for bearance that 'makes us rather bear those ills we have'othan crowd our delinquent subscrib- ITS to forced. settlement--and by the way, our aforesaid delinquents ought to be thank ful for the same consideration. Secondly,
 hat our treasure, which is simply the reward of virtue, is laid up where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt. and where thieves do not break through, nor steal. Thirdly, that the boon of good health, which is always insured by frugal living, is ours; that counterfeit SlO bills have no terrors for us; that our board ing house keeper and washer'woman are
 'devilish good fellows and "willing to wait; ;' that we weren't nominated for president ofthe United States; that cider is cheap; that sal- vation is free, and that election is over. We nave avoided saying anything about "pesti- lence and famine stalking over the land," for political reasons This article is not designed to show our ability to write Thanksgiving proclamations; we never have had any am- bition to occupy the gubernatorial chair, and don't want anybody to think that we are lin the feld'' as candidate for 1882 but never- theless we are in the hands of our friends. -SANDToWN WILL ' SET AN EXAMPLE. = EDITOR OF DE NEWS De Han'cuff an Gar ter Club convened las' Sat'dy nite at de resi- due of Mayor Hall, in obeegence to de call of de president, for de transackshun of some inn portant transackshuns. De members of de club took dere seats, on de floor, an de pres ident ask, "Is we all togedder? Dose what is here say I, an dose what is not here keep still ;" den he call de role. De club was all togedder 'ceptin' Bion Rice, an he wasn't to- gedder cause he's bin gittin' married, and can't git togedder so easy as he use to cood. After de role was called, de president, Mayor
 Hall make a speach, which I send you cd interim DOE popuI:
 'Fellow Bredering, an Christian Fren's:- Dis am 'casion of sollum gravity. We is l 'sembled here to extreminate ourselfs on de quonsequences of de late lection, wich has l lef' us behind. De fack dat dis club. an it's candydate was overlooked ain't so horrifcat. in as de 'spicion wich is gittln' into circula- shiun dat bofe parties is gittin' krupt, al dat 1 fraud an bribry is de cheef stock in trade | If de 'sp'cion am founded on mathematical prinsipuls, an money was used, den whar, oh
 whar was dis club wen dat money bizness
 was bilin'? Dis club mus fern dat, dar is more capital in one golden opportunity dar dar is in torty-si slite of hand hen roost flor
 mances, an dar aint muffin, in all Europe like knowin' wen desc opportunities cum up Wen a man 'proaches you on lection day shakes yer paw, axes bout de family, wink
 a knowin' wink an smiles knowin' smile
 specially if ne is man dat Eebber looks
 you nor speaks to you at any oder time, yol
 can make up yer min n'4he's boun' to glt you
 an you've got it all yer own way. Jes' git hl figger, an go him five better, as if you hel
 three aces an pair of kings, or flush. He
 sure to cover an call you, an. you Kin rak
 in de pot. But dls club musn't understan' me to ad
 wise dat purceedln'. It's wicked. De fnge of scorn would look at us wid it's baleful bre1 } an shout in tones of languish, Shame on yer
 to put price on yer sole l" were jes' dwell | in breafiy on de benefit of an advantage. 7 De prins'pul obiick of dis resemblance ar a fur a diffrent objlck. Now lis'n. It am tim
 t,1r de Har'cuff an Garter Club to take hol
 of de ribbons. .-dey has'had de traces Ion
 huff. An now de kwestion is, am de ne1 :. lection tickets goin' to hev de name of an member of dis club on it in black letters W !. has pulled de wagon; now les get on al @ ride little. We's paid de fiddler; now le
 dance. We's helped to bake de hoe-cake
 now les help to eat it. We's picked up a cider; now let's drink de apples, cries ( e ''You bet!" Oats usl" Elf dat ain't logicl
 al logick, den somebody what's got life il F surance policy, jest cont dict it. Now fello
 bredering, is we goin' to keep continuin' to
 led along like lamb to de slaughter house D or shall we rise up in de strongness of ol ,- strength an take ip de korkusses Oats
 kwestion before de house. Nov frinstant - coodn't we nominate Simon Dewitt fur slscl Il mauP Slime nose de wants of de poor, al
 won't go back on his fren's. Den dar's Die
 Davis; he'd make good skool visitter, a r wood visit de skool eight days in de week. a speshally if de teecher has bin lckin' his chi a lun Den Jule Stedman wood make one of ( d grandest joories in de club. Fur assasser ( whatever ye call tide tax feller) dar's sar l. Watkins-a mtey smart talkin' chap wid bi , words enuff to fill up 'rifmetck. An fl haywards, we've got plenty. of coons dat woe n keep de chickens out of de nabor's hen roost e An mite go on an continue to nom'na IF but mus have convinced de mos jackass
 fled of my hearers dat de time has cum in , histry of dis club wen de lives of moral pc
 suasion mus be excrushiated an after dat
 dun, de 'merican eagle will flap his tail featl !. CTS, an crow to de glory of de Han'cuff a # Garter club. Brudder Steadman, pass de ha ,- De meetin' is adgerned"
 ! PEACHBLow SNOWFALL,