The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1880-08-05
Humorous Side of Politics.

| by REFORMED BUTTERNUT.
Aside from she great excitement, the heated dis
cussions, the bitter partisan feuds, there is deal OF
fun in politics. The who is fortunate to be
able to control his temper daily meets with mirth-
exciting and ludcrous incidents during po-
litcal campaign. 1t is then the incipent statesman
and the intelligent voter clock horns,' (and
times swallow them.) 1t is then the average Demo-
cratic constooshnel' lawyer, (afer he has received
orders from headquarters to what he is TO advo-
cate shines out in the fun spendor OF his great
ers.
1t would seem that, as a rule, the greater number of
funny incidents to be found the Democratic
side of the field. There is only thing known to
which is uncertain than base ball. and that
| is Democracy. The Democrat to-day, has no more
idea of what he will be advocating next year, than
| the skeptic has of the scenes beyond the grave.
In one of my perambuations, met man whom
had every reason to believe earnest Democrat;
and was in search of Hancock enthusiasm, asked
for an expression of opinion in regard to the superb
soldier.''
II don't about takn politics." said he, but eff
you've got time I'll tell you little story. I've a
| neighbor whom III call Jackson, who owns very
fine horse NEEDED horse couple of years ago, to
work my corn made him offer for him, as he
| constantly bulletin an beatin' him. He wouldn't
sell. Time on, an a few days ago. jackson came
to me with the horse, an wanted me to take him. but
soon discovered he had ruined the horse; from ben
good horse, he'd got to be very one; besides
his eyes had been put that he couldn't his
duty.
So told Jackson 1 didn't want that horse. Time
was when might have wanted him, but he no
account now.
Butt said Jackson that horse has done heap of
good work-I've heard you praise him the best of
horses
. so did, replied, so did he's done excel
lent work in his time but that before you made
fool of him. BESIDES work done in the past won't
the harvest this year, want horse to do good work
NOW; not blind crazy horse, that has done
Somehow my @ frie yhen
my Democratic friends ask me to vote for Gineral
Hancock because he good soldier always think
of Jackson's horse. Hancock fit on the Union side
durin' the war-I was Union man then, as now. The
rebels hant changed bit, neither have 1. want
Solid South runnin' the country. would ask my
friends where Gineral Hancock is Now.'
This is about the kind of enthusiasm Han
cock, in my travels through the Democratic camp.
SUDDEN, BUT TRUE,
On last Thursday evening, when the Garfield Guards
were marching along the street, recalling the exciting
days of 81 a crowd of ladies and gentlemen
Martins Corner" watching the parade The fife
and drums playing lively airs, the torches gar-
ing brightly, lighting up the gay uniforms of the
torch-bearers, and making, altogether, beautiful
moving tabeau. A youthful Democrat admiring
the soldierly bearing of the companyfor it
several men who helped thrash the Democratic party,
''in the brave days of od,-when ayoung Miss asked
him why he did not join the Guards.
''Oh,' replied he, 81 do not think as they dor'
''We,' answered the Miss, ''we'd like to have you
with us, but if you won't come over, we'll have try
and get along without You, for weih have very
good men sde-and" said she, suddenly, tive
know that GOD IS FOR GARFIELDr'
HE RAMA boisterous Democrat was Dragging on
the street few days ago. that Hancock
ing the war. A Republican at once disputed this.
'What battle did he ever run In ?n asked the Demo-
crat.
''In every battle he engaged in.' answered the
Republican.
"Name One!'' said the Democrat.
You name that he didn run in!r said the Re-
publican.
n'He didn'trun at Gettysburgh
'Yes he did, and all the Democrats at that battle
with him.
How do you make that out ?'' asked the now irate
Democrat.
why said the Republican, 'the Rebels ALL
Democrats; at Gettysburgh they all ran, and HAN
COCK RAN AFTER THEMr'
The Democrat could not deny this bit of his party
history.
"THE WORST LOOKING MAN!''-A few days ago
one of business received large portraits
out specimens. A crowd collected about them
who asked:
(which one of them is Garfeld?"
'That one," said man standing by, pointing to
HASCoCK's picture.
"Ah," said the old Democrat, 'he's not near fine
a looking man the other one there" (pointng to
Garfeld.)