Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1880-12-31
iiawkrye Chances

postal cards.
Charles Utter IS The Iau,e OF General
Grants japanese servant.
think tina. Thanksgiving day should
be abolished I. GoUbl.r.
Let's CT fellows are wearing new hats
wno didn't win them Jn election Lets.
Tie New Monk Dr,rcl thinks the
"prcpcr study Of mankind is woman,
The man completely wrapped ;Ip IN
himself has 40 use Tor IN ulster. Sc New
O.iean, picayune,
\ Pennsylvania paper. il speaking Of
Il politician, saye his word is no pe.ter
than pint OF whisky.
Limerick Mocha is not in .iiri.
q. The "Moke-' don't come from
Mocha Boston Post.
Boston brides spending their honey.
moons are SAT- 70 have the lgbit Of
talking in BAD French.
There vii! not be much kicking down
stairs in that household. 4 Nashville
bride and groom have one leg apiece.
Many preachers seek to impress their
hearers with the fact that lie ~ short,
but forget it in their sermons.-- Boston
Globe.
Jones has Just visited le.f-mute
school. He says the exercises were
quite interesting, but not pronounced
success.
The following question from Ohio
reaches Philadelphia publisher: DO
you publish a good family Bible of a
high moral tone -
\ Minnesota farmer gives his plan
for keeping onions. He digs a deep
pit in the earth, puts his onions IN, and
lets them stay there.
"Oh, my earrings exclaimed the
urchin, as the side OF his bead came in
contact with the flat Of his fathers
hand Waterloo Observer.
~ declare" exclaimed a sloyenly
writer, II wish could find pen that
would just suit me-" And instantly
came the chorus, Try a pig pen"
1t is proposed 70 make education
necessary qualification in future pedes.
TRAN matches, SO that he who runs may
read Cincinnati Saturday Night.
We are Informed by fashion ex.
change that cheeks are 70 be worn. We
think it is about time check was nut
on the fashion, Yonkers Statesman.
The New Orleans Picab'ne says the
man who is welded to his profession
in youth will not be divorced from it
when he is older. Provided ne chooses
the right style of girl.
a cross eyed man who said he was
going to vote as he shot" had his
ballot carefully put among the scatter.
ing by the ludicions inspector. Bos.
ton Commercial Bulletin.
The New York Clipper says tina. now
is the time to graft Jersey sausages on
your buckwheat-cake bushes. One
bunch of sausages to each back wheat
cake hill will be sufficient.
A man who is sixty years old has
spent twenty years of his life in sleep
unless he is laborer on morning
newspaper, when he, probably, has
been awake sixty I've years.
A western physician advertises to
"treat patients by letter" If the pa.
tient is female, letter B would be the
best letter for her--unless she is blind;
then VS. world suggest letter c. Nor.
ristown Herald.
Emmett, the actor, said to st. Louis
audience when intoxicated: I'm a
gentleman when I'm sober, and m
brute when I'm drunk. You see how
it is with me, now, I'm drunk, and I
beg your pardon
In Milwaukee there resides dog
that can tell Sunday from work days.
On Sunday he never barks. plays or
fights with other dogs, and regularly
attends the Methodist church. He is
much respected in the community.
Elder sister-"You should make
friends again. 1t is absurd for an en-.
gagged pair to quarrel" Laura-"Well,
then, let Edgar say the first word.n
Edgar with a lively recollection Of
the recent tiff Yes, so long as you
have the last, you don't care"
An Ohio man, ambitious to be Presi-
dent, has met with sad misfortune.
Encouraged by Garfields success, he
hired ont as 8 driver of canal boat,
and had Just succeeded in getting the
mules started, when one of them reached
around ana kicked his brains out.
When Mr.. Maginnis's attention was
called to the molten lava flowing from
Mt. Vesuvius, on his first, and only
visit to the land of hand organs, be
naturally asked 4" how the poor crater
came to overload its shtomach so drid-
FIJI 10 Rockor Trnncorixt