The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1880-08-13
The Courteous Lawyer.

You recognize the courteous lawyer at
once. He places 4 chair gracefully for his
client whether the client is an elegantly
attired lady in sealskins and diamonds or
clumsy pumpkin in home-spun attire.
He smiles sweetly ut his opponent, and
bows to the jury i'll a deferentially famil-
lar way. He pays the fees to the clerk
before he has the trouble to ask for them,
and draws the bills out of his pocket book
slowly, one by one, as gently as he would
lead belle from her carriage to the ball
room. His bow to the court is almost an
apology for having come into the profess
sion cOntemporaneously with his Honor.
He handles witness as though he was
the fraiI golden setting and his testimony
the gem he was trying to remove. His
tones are carefully modulated, and he APP
peals for Il reply to the kindly sensibili-
ties of the witness. "Be SO goodn is the
captivating exordium, and "thank you"
the palliative perOration. IF he wounds
with question, he binds up the sore the
next mement with Hniment of pollteness.
To his opponent he overfows with gener-
GUS waivers and admissions, and if by
chance he interpolates remark, he does
it as though he was putting boquetin in
his adversary's buttonhole. He thinks
he understands the court. He hopes he
does not misapprehend his learned friend.
He trusts the witness knows what he
means. In addressing the jury, he un..
bosoms his appreciation of their intelli-
gence and ability. He lays his arguments
before them with respect amounting
almost to reverence, as though they were
propitiatory offerings to deity whom he
wished to placate. To the court his
whole demeanor is redolent of respect.
The court is most honorable the judge
most distinguished. He is, in short, so
r. Ilnd xr;th L,,,,,o,, oon dorrfion for ovopv.
thing and everybody around him, that
he finds excuse for the jury that beats
him and for the court that nonsuits him.
1t is true, he has been known to revive
an adversary in private, to curse surrep-
titiously, and to sneer at the judiciary in
the social circle. 1t is also true that he
can wrench fee from a client in ruth
less moment and take snap judgement
when he thinks it safe. But these little
tribes only show that he is human and he
knows that men are not apt to believe
that head with such halo of politeness
around it can have for its pedestal
cloven foot.
In the waters of British Columbia and
Oregon there is a fsh-an odd fsh-as
surprising in its way as the sea-serpent,
and infinitely more useful. It is spe-
cies of smelt, and may be POLITICALLY de-
scribed as an acquatic glow-worm. We
are told it may be literally used in the
same way as candle, by simply setting
a light to the tail, when it will burn with
a fame as steady as that of the 'sdips"
which our grandfathers used to have to
put up with before gas was invented. It
is small, silvery fish, averaging about
fourteen inches long, is excessively fat,
and affords an excellent and valuable oil,
which is so infammable that the dried
carcass will serve as torch. Among the
natives the fish is known SIS the oolahan,
and by them, as by others who have
tasted it, is considered one of the most
delicious products of the sea, being far
more delicate in flavor than the herring.
The fish are caught in wicker baskets,
and are smoked as much as their oily ma
ture will allow. This, by the way. is
nothing more than the use to which that
curious bird, the fulmar, is put. It is of
so oily a nature that if wick is drawn
through it and lit, enough oil is evolved
to act as lamp.
Political necessity is the mother of con-
ventiOn.