Weekly Chillicothe crisis. (Chillicothe, Livingston Co., Mo.) 1878-19??, 1880-09-02
ITEMS OF INTERkST.

BOb
A Boston physician says hi9h-heeled
shoes ruin the eyesight. He may save
his eyes by turning them in another di-
rection.
White neckties are so cheap this season
that many a sad-faced man has secured u
railroad ticket at half fare on the strength
OF his throat-gear.
An impecuniou5 man generally deSig-
mates a $40 note as William, because he
i, not on such terms offamiliarity with it as
would cntitle him to call it "Bill."
Life is like pack of cards. Childhood,
best cards are hearts; youth is captured
by diamonds; middle age is conquered
with club; while old age is raked in by
the Unsuitable spade.
"IfI have ever used any unkind words,
Hannah" said Mr.. Smiley reHeCtively,
81 take them all back" "Yes, suppose
you want to use them over again." was
the not very smooth reply.
Lotta is to be married, it is said, and
has gone into training for the ceremony.
She thinks that with few months praC-
tice she can learn to walk from the vesti-
bule TO the chancel without kicking more
thanrfve times.
A young man who held loaded pistol
to his head and threatened to blow his
brains out unless the girl who refused him
would consent to have him, was cOolly told
that he would have to blow some brains
in his head first. He didn't blow.
Robinson latter a long whist bout at the
club)-"It's awfully late, Brown. What
will you say to your wife, BrownP"
Brown lin whisper)-"0h shan't say
much, you know. Good morning, DEAR
or something of that sort. She'll say the
rest"
An old Judge oil the New York supreme
court meeting a friend in nelghbOring
village, exclaimed: "Why, what arc you
doing hcre2" 81 am at work trying to
make an honest living" was the reply.
"Then you'll succeed" said the judge,
for you'll have no competition.
After nights alarm was over and it
was discovered that cat had merely up
set a vase, the husband said: "DeNr you
should never rush ahead of me in that way
when you think there are burglars down
stairs. for might want to shoot into
them and you might be killed"
Thcpoct has referred idlers to the ant
for lesson on industry. The common
house fly, however, wears the belt for per-
sistcnt perseverance. One of these crea-
lures will go thousand times to the
same spot on mans bald head, and yet
there is nothing to be gained by it any
way.
Mrs. Tidince says she doesn't so much
object to being hugged by strcet-car con-
ductor as she does to the haIf-scorc of
hand prints that days shopping newt
ably leaves upon her white waist. Either
conductors must be less afFectionate or
keep their hands clean. This is her ult-
matum.
SKIRTS and underskirts are now made 80
as to form two various narrow points in
the back, reaching to the middle of the
skirt. The breadth of goods is placed
where these points terminate, and either
gathered Or plated. By this means all
the fulness remains in the bnck, and the
front and over the hips are perfectly plain.
A New jersey farmer heard strange
noise among his hens one night seventeen
years ago, and fred shotgun from his
bedroom window. The other day he re-
,eived $500 from an unknown man who
who stated that having his legs filled with
oird.shOt had made an honest man of him,
md now, as he was about to die, he de-
sired to reward the shooter.
Here is good cure for IL cough:-
Ground flax-seed and finest pearl barley,
If each one heaping tablespoonful of
,ulverized licorice-root, one heaping tea
ipoonful; of best loaf sugar, one-quarter
,f fapound; place all in an earthen vessel;
,our on one quart of boiling water; cover
lightly until cold, and drink Of 1t frequent
y. 1t should be made fresh every twelve
hours.
Lancaster, Pa, has rival of DR.. Tan
ler. For the past thirteen years n man
named Henry Ramsey has been an inmate
If the county almshouse. Once every
Iear Henry takes notion that he won't
,at anything, and accordingly he takes
nothing but water for days at a time.
The Lancaster Examiner says that on
Monday Ramsey took food for the first
time in twenty-six days.
A Burke county (Ga.) man rugged him
Ielf up as bear, to have some fun, and
ne got it, for the inhabitants turned out
With dogs and ran him four miles over
itumpy country before he could make
hem understand that he wasn't bear;
md then they talked of tar and feather.
ng him for alarming the women folks of
;he neighborhood, and finally gave him
hree days to leave the country. He won't
,lay bear any more.
PAINTING on kid of various colors, but