The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-04-14

1
going to interfere, not at all. But before
you make your quietus, I wish to ask
you a few questions. Have you provid-
ed for your neice's future welfare?''
"What's that to you2''
/ "Considerable. I am about to marry
Miss Silver, 80 her interests are natural
ly mine.''
''Then she is provided tor, amply"
"Thank you for your information.
Very glad to hear it. And now excuse
the impertinent question, but where is
your wlll2:'
Here said MI. Maddox, laying his
hand on it.
Suppose you give to me to take care
"Glve it to you! Why, pray2'
"It might become mislaid," explained
Guy.
"'ll keep it myself" Mr.. Maddox an
swered, roughly.
the table to tell where it is. It will
save trouble, perhaps said Guy, very
earnestly.
"Get outr' cried Mr.. Maddox, white
| with anger.
"Ah, I see," said Guy, coo1ly, Gin a
hurry to begin. Well, I won't detain
you; but 1 have little suggestion to
Offer"
ut is this continued Guy. ssMlss Sill
yer informs me that you have made sew
eral previous efforts to cut short your
troubles and your breath, and always un-
successfully. Now, it seems to me you
don't 60 the right way about it. This
box and here he opened the box before
alluded to-scontains several little plans
that think might please you. Here Is
one,' and he showed little steel instru-
ment.
"What is that2" asked Mr.. Maddox
cur1ously.
"Thls," said Guy, "is an article that
you can place around your neck like q
collar; then, by striking your hand on the
left side of your neck, sharp spike il
driven right into your jugular vein-it il
thoroughly
"But that would kill mel" said Mr.
Maddox, staring.
swell, amt that what you want2" de-
manded Guy, sternly. "Now here's
another" he went on. "Herc's wheel
you observe. You place this band arounC
your neck, pass it around the wheel, anc
give it two or three turns; then let go
The recoil will twist your head almos
off your shoulders-will kill you to ,
certainty.
Mr.. Maddox stared at MIN with I'm
felgned horror.
''Then," went on Guy, coolly, "here's
little package-a torpedo. It contains
nltro-glycerine. You place it in YOU
mouth, snap your teeth on it, and off goe
your head smashed into millions O.
ATOMS"
"Good heavens!'' exclaimed Mr.. Mad
dox, tearfully. "What horrible idea =
mot at ALL" said Guy, soothingly
Beautiful invention-I quite pride my
} self on it-scientihc suicide, you see
J Anybody can take poison, or blow thei
brains out; but to do it scientifically re
quires great talent. You have it and
; AIN confident you will reflect credit or
my inventive skill. Now" he continued
confidentially, lit you could use all three
OF these inventions at once-cut you1
jugular, garrste yourself and blow YOU
head OFT, all at once why, I'd thanh
YOU"
"Whatv' cried Mr.. Maddox, fercely
"do you think I'm going to use any Of
your Internal Inventions? Get out O.
this room, you cold-blooded villain
before 1 throw you out of one Of thu
windows!''
'But have great many more t.
show you," demonstrated Guy; "and YOU
see want you to try as many as possible
Well, well!'' he added, as Mr.. Maddo,
grasped the poker threateningly, II an
going. But I'll leave this box here, anl
before you get rid of yourself, just MAKE
a memorandum of what you will use
and leave it on the table, because 20,
know, there will probably be nothing lef
OF you to draw conclusions from, and 8,
I--1 ~
Here any further speech was cut shor
by Mr.. Maddox selling his visitor, ant
hustling him out into the passage.
SWELL" said Lizzie, anxiously, to Guy
! II think it's all right" said Guy, GRIN
ming. "Get the lunch ready. You
uncle is all right. He'll be down."
And sure enough, SO he was;. 'ano
though be spoke not, he ate most vora
ciously of everything. .. ..
| ''Lizzie," SAID he suddenly after al
hours pause, "did you ever see an ole
fool and idiot2"
"Never, that know Of" said Lizzie
"Why2''
because, just look at me, and you'll
see one,'' said Mr. Maddox, grimly, ano
he stalked up stairs.
! Up to the present time of writing, Mr.
Maddox is still alive, enjoying remark.
ably good health; and he seems to be on
friendly terms with Mr.. Cheevers and
his wife Lizzie He probably forgave
that gentleman on account of a discov-
cry that he made that the nitro-glycer-
Inc torpedo contained nothing more dan
gerous than salt, and the other s'internal,
Inventions were internal in about the
same ratio; but Guy still maintains that
when person is weary of life they
should ease their troubles by scientific
suicide.
A Remarkable Coincidence
In 1868 four gentleman entered their
sons at board1ng-school at Cokesbury, s
| ~ Thew bod haan for wars min 10