The Brookhaven ledger. (Brookhaven, Miss.) 1875-1883, 1880-09-09
Our Iessatf.
Cutting u swell-lancing a boil

Sbbtiuh q oWtii
On a tramp Rags.
A Hard case-The shell of q tortoise
Professionalism is what tries mems
soles.
The promises Of some men always re-
main shall owe.
Men who live in glass houses should
be conservatory in their opinions,
1t is QUO of the curious things of the
world that a male hair dresser often
DIVES an old maid.
If you don't want to shuttle OH this
mortal coil in a hurry. AVOID playing
with a pack of mules.
When is a Chinese the most like a
vegetable? Why, when a que cumbers
his head, of course.
It doesn't take a school boy long to
ev;pce "A love for division, provided am
other boy owns the apple.
South Africa being much afflicted
with Beers, is not a good conutry to
start a newspaper in.
Presidential candidates have ms man
lives az a cat. or will have before all
their bionraphrrs get through.
Don't you believe that when a mod
cru belle has lone up her false hair,
she has lone her jnte. Ell?
Spots on the son are sometimes freck>
les and sometimes photographs of a
mothers loving but We 2hty hand.
A little girl, after profound reflection.
sitting in her little chair by the fire,
asked: "Mama, how does u step mother
walk?'
A ieweler advertises that he has some
precious stones for disposal. adding that
''they sparkle like the tears of a young
widow"
Don't call yourself a fool, my friend;
don't be outcome in p%oliteness by 9TH
ers who only think what You are so
rude as to express III words.
A Maine political speaker mentioned
somebody as Il Shylock, aud an auditor
asked who Shylock was. IF you don't
know the orator scornfully replied.
"you had better go home aud read your
bible"
Magistrate-"You are charged with
having emptied II basin Of water over
the plaintiff. 80 Irishwomau-"S yer
honor, YOU must forgive me; in the
dark [ took the gintleman for me bus
band
The child probably destined to be the
greatest of American naturalists Is al~
ready born. He lives i'll Tennessee,
and is the author of the remark that "a
iackass is the only animal that wlnks
with his ears"
''To calculate the entire COST of a
trip to the top of Mt. Washington, you
have merely TO summit up, remarks a
witty individual. We presume, howev-
er. 1t would answer the same purpose
to foot it up.
1t is stated that IN Waterfowl, Ct,
on II very hot day, Il woman rubbed
blne paints off the leg II Barnum s tat>
tpoed Greek with her handkerchief, and
that hr abruptly Withdrew from the
platform
rhink twice before you speak once.
That is u good enough rule some peo>
pie; but there are folks who can Think
of 81 many meaner things to say the
second tim tying, that we prefer to
hear the first Inspiration on the subject
PA teach You to lie and steal and
smoke and use profane language, said
Nh irate Galveston parent to his eldest
offspring, at the same time swinging a
g1oI-sized sapling. "ifl teach you,
you young scamp "Never mind, ia
ther, l know all them branches already.
e-|e RI tI-Hss -
Two Galveston ladies met. Says
No. l: '.Nhy, do you know what l
heard about your I've no idea.
give heard thatwhen your husband was
sick and not expected to live you went
toa picnic"
at was a vile Islander, it was only
an excursion"
The announcement is made that
Prince Gunther H., Of Schwartzburg
Sonderhausen, has addicted because be
has become near sighted. When he
wrote his name he rabbed it oat with
be- nose and his subjects felt MOI flied
to see their ruler with half a pint OF
ink smeared on his o~ou1tenance.
Browns landlady passed him a dlsh
of Vegetable at the dinner- table and
he helped himself to about two spoons
fri, almost ba >krlptlng the dish, when
she said to him with a smile on her face
aud ire in hes eye: ''Th0se are new
potatoes, Mr.. Blown, and some of the
other boardels may want some" beg
yonr pardon" choked Brown in sur
prise, as two or three effected an un
pleasant l~odgeraent in his windpipe;
81 thought they were peas" and then
he finished his dinner huiriedly.
Brown is COW hunting round for a new
boarding house.
One day recently, as one OF our prom
inentbusiness men was about to enter
his favorite resort for dinner. he was &C
costed by an individual with decided
ly care-worn expression who begged
that he would assist him to get some
thingztos eat. As the man looked like
a worthy object of charity, the gentle
man told him to go in, and directed the
waiter to give him twenty-five cents
worth of food and charge it to his
check, when, noticing a humorous look
on the WATERSHEDS, he asked him what
the hungry man bad ordered. The re-
reply was, Five glasses of lager"