Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1880-12-13

down. Another got mp and said
81 am on the old shil
Zion, brethren, sailing heavenwart
at fifty knots and soon will enter the
harbor OF the blessed, and sat down
And third chanted out: 81 am on tht
good ship Zion, but mine is steamer
and III soon enter the harbor OF thu
blessed" Then an old-iashioned Chris
tian woman said: "Weli, brethren, I've
been agoing to Heaven for seventy
wears and syoing afoot and from the
looks OF things I'll have to 50 afOot al
the way; and il some OF you don't look
out you'll bust your biler." LaughterI
| The probabilities are we'll al go afoo'
and il We 90 side by side, We III all gel
the sunshine and 20 better, for We al
want help. Now, TO show you faces o.
some disagreeable people and then by
the natural reaction Of the soul. brine
you to the bright side. And first in oul
picture gallery, is
The Fault Finder.
The world has many clever people
who are always finding things out. Like
the bee, they never leave the hive with
out alighting in clover patch. They
visit picture gallery and see the grand
conceptions OF art. They admire the
combinations of co'or and the fine Ell.
fects of light and shade. They attend
the )nc, IT an lose themselves in the
depths OF the creations OF the great com.
posers and go home 10 wonder how God
put such trills in a human throat. They
like the spring time with its merry
awakening OF nature to the tuneful har'
mony of thousands OF bird songs. The
summer is Just the thing. They love to
hear the buzz OF the moving machine
and the thousands OF thunderbolts
grounding arms in the mountains. They
delight in autumn with its harvest
homes. They revel in winter with its
blind mans buff, when they can see
throu, ,h the handkerchief with its i'm
mitable pencil OF the frost, turning the
pigeon houses into Parthenous and st.
Pauls. Oh, yes, there are many people q
like this aud they are in demand. lfyou
are lawyer you want them for clients,
il YOU are teacher YOU want them for
pupils and ii You are doctor you want
them for patients, though doctors have
mighty few Of them, for their
medicine is good bottle OF
laughter taken three times day, and
well shaken when taken.
How Diferen. is the Fault-Finder.
He goes to the concert and hears the
orchestra, with the bray Of the bassoon,
the soft, silvery notes Of the cornet, the
whisper OF the flageolet, the melody twi-
ming around the strings OF the violin,
and he sits disguised, and when he gets
home SAYS: "Did you see that lat mu-
sician?" When his wife remonstrates
and says cit was divine" he growls ont
that that is the trouble with her, she is
always pleased with everything. He
goes TO church and hears didactic SER
mon and yawns and says he can't keep
awake. And the next Sunday he goes
again and hears sermon full OF Illus
trations, and is still more dis.usted and
saws the preacher should draw his illus
trations from the cedars OF Lebanon and
not from the oak and the sassafras. by
and by he joins church, and then the
churca \Rs its hands full. He whines
oer evelsthing. The house is as cold
al sreenl1Pd or as hot as blazes. He
d4 StAei ibe style OF the carpet or the
tint o. paper. and when a new iur.
mace 10 put in he don't like the
patent. He is like the horse that fOams
and sweats beside quiet companion.
He is like the hedge hog, ali quills, or
like the crab that goes the other way,
you know. And SO some men are all
grabbed, and don't see how they viii
ever get to Heaven unless they 50 in
back kward, and even then they will pick
a tiyht with st. Peter at the gate. And
when they are in they will be discOn'
tented. The music will not suit them
or they will be uneasy for fear the walls
are not quite plumb.
oh, friends, let us stand of from such
things. Life is what We make it, and
why not make il pleasant. You can
read it bright or read il dark. A black
smith once received letter from son
at college and as he could not read, he
took his wife with him and went to the
butcher to have the letter read. The
butcher was a gruf man. and he read
the letter in a very gruf way: Dear
Tather:-I am very sick. Please send
me some money. GeOr,e.' Ii sound
ed very short and erutf and the black.
smith SAID: "lf he writes that way, he
shan't have any money" But his wife
said to 20 to the baker, who was a mild
man, and have him read it. The baker
was a very mild man, and when he read
the letter in his soft. mild voice, the
blacksmith said: III George writes that
way he can have all the money he
w,nts." You can take anything and
read it bright or read it dark. God does
many things for US to make US happy,
and il We are not happy the fault is our.
noticed in a Pennsylvania coal mine
once that every miner carried his own
light. So should it be in life With his
own light, Independently, he can sea.
An, my friends, let us pick up the mari
colds and daisies instead OF the thlstles
and nettles; the roses instead OF the
niyhtshade. Listen to the lifted voices
ali about and heed the sweet music
when the lark says: 81 will sing sopra-
no." and the cascade murmurs: 81
will carry the bass" and the grand har-
mony arises in one grand choral: The
world is very fair. [Applause.
Be Happy Anyhow.
for YOU can. I had friend once who
went to hear a famous orator. He got a
back seat and couldn't hear, but a man
Just in front Of him would occasionally
sing oat "Hurrah hurrah.' and was
immensely pleased. MY friend
/ houplt his hearing must
be defective. Presently something was
said that stirred the audience u ,enthu.
siasm, aud the man in front sang out
hurrah, NV friend leaned over and
said: What was that" "Oh, l can't
hear, but came here to have a good
timo, and-hurrah" Now, that's one
extreme and know it, but il is much
better than the other.
Next in the gallery comes
The Person OF Bad Manners.
the person who is always finding def.
cit. l don't like Chester6elds, and |
have no retaining fee from tailors, dress
makers or hatters. But all of them to-
gether cannot make gentleman. A
lot OF mechanics once set out To make a
man. The tailor made his clothes, the
halter made his hat. and 80 on, and the
man went out; but before the day was
done he had committed IN act so con-
tan,pt;hla that L,s nr;,,in moe oyi1ent