The Orangeburg democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1879-1881, 1880-06-04
Clippings.

!, Clippings.
-Tilden says lie didn't cut Whi:ta-
ker's cars,
"A mule is tame enough III front
but awiully wild behind.
Can anyone improve his condi.
tion by whining? If not whine not.
-ssI'm moderate drinker" assert
ed an old topper: ~ only take one
drink ut time."
The next move of The Nihilists
will be to get the Gar TO fool around
threshing machine.
The Boston Post says the way TO
retain you" footing when goat
charges is TO sit down.
The man who built his house out
Of his poker winnings say that his
residence was built on Il ''blutf."
-Faber has made great deal OF
money from lead pencils which is the
difference between Faber and report
els.
-"You are man after my own
heart" as the blushing maiden con.
fessed when her lover proposed mar.
riage.
The Omaha HTull says drink
Of Council Bluffs whiskcy will make u
man 60 OFT to some secluded spot and
lob himself.
Now that diamonds can he made by
the process of chemistry, it will he
hard to distinguish The common pco-
pie from editors.
-It.i is noticeable fact that salt
cod. fish and herring always are n
prominent feature in bar-tender's
spread Of free lunch.
A man will remember broken
leg much longer tlIan he will favor,
but that doesn't make q broken leg
much longer than favor.
An intelligent compositor says
ga horse thnt is divided against itself
cannot stand" We should say So
unless the horse is mule.
"A young lady named Sheep
changed her name to Lamb before she
had been in Michigan thirty-six hours.
She went West in quest Of youth.
Senator Davis, Of West Virginia,
now millionaire, used TO be rail
road brakeman. He made his money
by not slamming the doprs of the cars.
-"When l die" said weary hus-
bund, 81 want TO 60 where there are
no more fires to make" "Perhaps
you may" saidhis good wife.
-Deadwood Obituaries state that
"the deceased was Of an unobtrusive
nature" when he didn't poke into
more than three fights week.
The man who will wait two hours
for his turn in the BARRIERS chair, will
get mad and thrash and scold if q
button isn't scwed on in just ten Sec
onds.
"a New Jersey colorcd man, whose
wife had left him, said: "She would
come back if frowed her some su.
gar; but ain't frowin' no sugar, do
you heah?"
de Lesseps estimates that the
Brooklyn bridge will last for six cen
tnries. We shall watch that bridge
with some curiosity just to see how
near he hits it.
You've perhaps noticed this. A
Boston paper says people always
sympathize with the under dog in
fight, but they bet their money on the
other animal.
This is the season of the year
when young people 60 TO the woods
TO eat fruit.cake and pickles out Of
the same plate. The proper name
for these excursions is picncs.
Commodore Mutt, the we'll
known dwarf. is said to have kissed
more girls than any man in America
--Boston Post. We did not know
that the Com nl"doro hud turned to be
Brooklyn preacher.
A man with delirium tremens
was picked up in Bridgeport. He
first gave his residence as Danhury,
bnt drunk as he was he realized how
Improbable that sounded, nnd imme-
diatelv substituted New Haven.
When father fears that his
daughter is going 10 miss good
catch, lie just notifies the young man
10 keep away from her, and in less
than no time the youth is moving
heaven and earth 10 get the girl.
-Professor-"Will you mention
some liquor that is lighter than wa.
teri" Junior-"Alcohol." Profess
sor--"Can you mention any other
with which you are familar?" Jun.
ior Immediately searches for club.