The Northern Pacific farmer. [volume] (Wadena, Minn.) 1878-1885, 1880-11-18
CATCHING A BURGLAR.
How Mr.. SpOopendyke Came to the
Rescue

calculated Mr.. Spoopendyke, sitting
bolt upright in bed with sudden jerk;
''say, my dear, wake up! I hear burg
lars in the house."
"Who? what burglars?' demanded
Mrs. Spoopendyke, as she popped up
beside her husband. "Who's in the
house?'
''Hush! Quiet, will We? I don't
know which burglar, but I hear some
one moving around
ooh! my! What shall we do?' in
quired Mrs. Soopendyke. "Iet's cover
up our heads"
"Why don't you get up and light the
gasp p1opounded Mr.. spoopendyke in
q hoarse whisper. "s'pose you can
see who it is in the dark? Strike
light. can't We? If you had your way,
we'd both be murdered in bed. Going
to light up before we're killed."
'I'm afraid,'' whispered Mrs.
Spoopendyke, sticking one foot out of
bed and hauling it in as if she had
caught fish with it.
''Going to sit there like a shot tower
and have our tho cut?" Intercepted
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "How'm Lgoing to
find a burglar without light! Find a
match and light that measly gas, now,
quick!'
Mrs. Spoopendyke crawled out of
bed and hunted for a skirt.
"What's the matter with you? Can't
you find match? Why don't you
mover" Kissed Mr.. Spoopendyke.
81 am, as fast as l CAM replied his
wife, her teeth chattering. '"I'm look
ing for a PIN
"Oh! you're moving like a railroad,
amt We? never saw anything fly like
you do. All you want is to be done up
in white and blue papers to be a
seidiitz powder. What dye want of a
pin? Going to stick a pin in the burg
lar? Why don't you light that gasp
Mrs. Spoopendyke broke half dozen
matches and finally got a light.
'"That's something like il" continued
Mr.. Spoopendyke. "Now hand me my
pantaloons."
'Yon won't go down where they are.
will your anxiously inquired Mrs.
Spoopendyke, handing over the gar.
ment.
Mr.. Spoopendyke vouchsafed no re-
ply but donned the habiliments.
''Now, you open the door," said he,
land 20 to the head of the stairs and
ask who's there, while find my stick.
Hurry up, or they'll get away
Suppose they are there. Whatll I
do them"
''Tell 'em Pm coming Go ask 'em,
will we? What's the matter with your
|tMrs. Spoopendyke opened the door
about an inch, squealed "Who's there?"
slammed the door again and popped
into bed.
"What ais ye?" demanded the hus-
band. S'What dye think you are, any
way, a conical shot? Get up, can't We,
and look out. Where's my big stick?
What have you done with it," Sent it
to school, haven't We! Go out and ask
who's there, will we, before they come
up and slaughter u.s."
Once more Mrs. Spoopendyke APP
preached the door and TREMENDOUSLY de-
manded what was going on-there was
no response, to her incalculable relief,
and she went to the head of. the
stairs.
"See anybody?" whispered Mr.. Spoo-
pendyke, looking over her shoulder.
"Who's there?" .squealed Mrs. Spoo-
pendyke. "Go right away, because
my husband is here
''Oh, you've done it," exclaimed Mr..
Spoopendyke, as he hauled her back
into to the room. "Now, how dye
s'pose I'm going to catch 'em? What
do you want to scare 'em away for?
What'd you say anything about me
for? Think this is nominating con-
yention? What made you leave the
house open? Come on down with me,
and I'll show you how to lock up"
Down they went and careful scrutiny
demonstrated that everything was fast.
II don't believe there was anybody
there" said Mrs. Spoopendyke, as they
returned to their chamber.
1T wasn't your fault" retorted Mr..
spoopendyke. eff you'd got up when
told you and kept your mouth shut,
we'd have got 'em."
"But you said for me-
"Didn't say anything of the sort!"
howled Mr.. spoopendyke-"never
mentioned your name. We might have
been killed, the way you went to
work."
81 think we'd caught them if they'd
been there" said Mrs. Spoopendvke.
taking down her hair and proceeding
to put it up again.
ooh you'd caught 'em!" sneere d Mr..
Spoopendyke. "All you want is some
chloride of lime and your accoun
short to be in the penitentiary. Another
time a burglar gets in the house, YOU
stay a-bed, and don't you wake me up
again. won't have any dod gasted
woman routing me out this time of
night, We hear!"
eyes. DEAR" and Mrs. Spoopendyke
wound her hand in the collar OF her
iege lords night shirt and went to
sleep secure in his protection.