The daily Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1878-1???, 1880-12-19
WIT AND HUMOR.

specially der of one
Soft solder mends many hole in q
hard pan, and tafy heals many n wound
ed spirit, if judiciously applied.
The habits Of fruit are peculiar; we
have seen raisn box, fig drum and an
apple stand all day on the corner Of q
street
A Cuban correspondent says that the
only things which thrive in Havana are
yellow fever smallpox, lies and lot
teries,
Patrck-"And, Biddy, darlint, they've
been tellin' me there's too many Of us
in the wurld Now, ifyou and me get
the praste to make us two wan, troth
won't there be wan the less?'
A young man went into a restaurant
the other day; and remarked Time is
money adding that a. he had half an
hourto spare, if the proprietor was will
ing, he would take it out in pie.
"Why, Frankly" exclaimed mother
atthc summer clearinghouse, 'Ineyer
knew you to ask for a second piece Of
pie at home.n ii knew twan' no USE
said Frankly, ~ la proceeded with his
pie eating.
Son. Father, the lecturer at tho
hall tonight said that lunar rays were
only concentrated luminosity of the
earth's satellite. What do you think
about it?' Intelligent parent. -"All
moonshine, my son, all moonshine"
"Oh, my friends" exclaimed tenn
perance orator. that | had window
in my heart, that you might all look in
and see the truth Of what | tell you"
Would not pain in your stomach do
as well?n yelled small boy.
"Still in fancy do | view thee" was
the beginning Of poem he wrote to
her when they were counting. They
have been married year now; and as
he nurses the teething baby he does not
write anything more about "still in
fancy
Zone touch of nature" etc.-Street
preacher: II now ask, brethren what
can do to move you-what shall do
to move you in this world of wicked
ness?n AIRY: "Send round the at,
guy nor-that'll move m."-F'un.
Maiden aunt to tall young nephew;
LAS stood by in church rercy, could
not help being struck by your size"
Percy: Very sorry, aunt, but there
was such an awfully pretty girl the other
side the aisle, couldn't help sighingm
Fun.
INV son. mistrret you are addlcteu
10 the habit of cigarette smoking
Yes, father, have smoked one,'
Here, take this pipe, my son; be aman
at once Don't hesitate on the brink OF
idiocy. Jump clear over and smoke
tobacco"
A meddlesome old woman was sneer-
inc at a Young mothers awkwardness
with her infant and said: Il declare,
a woman never ought to have baby
unless she knows how to hold it"
Nor tongue, either" was the quiet
reioinder = Yonke1'S Gazette.
Ladylike qualities can not be con-
cealed no matter in what position she
who possesses them may be placed. A
Leadyille lawyer was cross examining
a woman on lHe NllHeos-StdHu, anu
becominSAbusive, she exclaimed I'm
lady, by thunder, and don't you forgit
it.
An Englishman was boasting to a
Yankee that they had book in the
British Museum which was once owned
by Cicero. 'Oh, that amt nothing"
retorted the Yankee, lin the museum
at Bosting they've got the lead pencil
that Noah used to check off the animals
that went into the ark
A Berger County man pleasantly sat
down to breakfast, and his loving wife
said; Darling does your head ache?"
He replied with sufficient dignity, "No;
why should you ask'" And she said
back, We'll, dear, you came in at three
o'clock this morning, and as you couldn't
hang your hat on the rack, you put the
rack down on the floor; and said you d
hang every hat in the house on it; and
/ thought your head might ache"
-New York Herald.