St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1880-12-31
SQuibs.

A Cincinnati man says that Mamie
AndersOn'S cherry red lips are the pret-
test in America. Bah we'll put our
lips against hers any day Boston
Post
There is no word in the English Ian
guage, no matter how complicated,
that Dave Robinson is not as familiar
with as if he had made it himself. care
these terrapins you have here on Gal
weston Island amphibious ?" asked Il
newly arrived stranger. "Are dey
lamfiberOusP Why, boss, dey is one ob
de chief delickicies OBJ de season. Epi-
caes jess lib on 'cm. l should say dey
war lamtiberous.-[ Galveston News.
'My 'sperience in dis life has taught me
dat de man who swaps mules with his
eyes shet am sartin to git de wust of it.
Brudderly feelin' goes good ways in
case OF sickness or want or death, but
it seldom reaches down to boss trade.
If L war buyin' a mule of a man | had
knowed all my life should begin at
de hoOfs an look dat anamile ober
cla'r up to de pint oh his nose. L
shouldn't spect him to tell me dat he
had filed down any teef or puttied
ober any hOOf cracks. My advice am
not to lie or deceive in tradin' mules,
but to answer as few queshuns as you
kin an seem sort O. keerless whedder
your offer am 'cepted or not. p Brother
Gardner in Detroit Free Press.
"NOw you know" remarked the new
Sunday school teacher, as lie beamed
kindly on the interested class of boys,
''that Robert Bruce, us he lay on the
bed, saw a spider cast its web seven
times, falling every time, but the
eighth attempt was successful. Now,
what was the result 2" Aud he looked
into the eager, upturned faces before
him. And then an exceedingly small
boy, with phenomenally large freckles,
at the foot of the class, whose folks had
been cleaning house the week before,
| spoke up and said that the woman came
IN next morning with broom and dust
pan, and carried the spider out, a CLAW
cold corpse. And then the school sang,
while the new teacher sat down and
wiped his forehead Rockland Cou-
rier.
Confederate Burker arose to ques-
tion of privilege. A few days ago he
was working in the eastern part of the
city with man who was fatally in
jured. He saw the whole transaction
and knew all the particulars, and vet
when the cOrOner's jury was made up he
was ignored because of his color lie
felt sighted and indignant, and he
! hoped the club would not overlook the
insult. 'Brodder Burker, you didn't
lose nothin," replied the president.
sit was a compliment to your intell-
gence to ignore you. De average corO-
ner's jury am composed of two lOafers,
| three old buns and a fule, an dey
would have insisted dat you war de
tue. You haven't got any case, sab,
an de meetin' will now be declared
split up."-[ Detroit Free Press.
No matter how deep a young mans
| pocket may be, cOlored silk handker-
chief will invariably float to the top
and flop over, while soiled linen rag
will sink to the bottom like a brick
thrown into mud-puddle,-[ New York
Dispatch.
The jealous Boston Post says: "Ciu-
clnnati men are so fond of music that
they won't hurl boot-jaek until thew
look out to see that it is a cat and not
a Cincinnati prima donna singing"
c"BN COh 10 uON ItllldTkdDle IOl
cranberry sauce and the red noses of the
people.
The young woman who had many
suitors, and from the time she was Il
to u rejected them all, referred in hel
later life to that period as her ode
eIlnlng years. p Steubenville Herald.
There are many stories told abou
the Scotchman, but few of them are $,
practical as this: When a poor fellow
had been arraigned for stealing a sheer
he looked at him with pitiful gIanc,
and said philOsophically: "My dea
man, you should have been NOR
thoughtful. You ought to have know,
that to deliberately steal a sheep is
great crime which there is no eartbl
necessity to perpetrate. Why didni
YOU just buy the sheep and not pay fo
F it? That would have simplfied mat
ters and saved you from prison."
A Missouri man with an ingrowin
nail chopped his toe off. This remed
never fails. For sale at all hardwar
stores. Beware of imitations.-[Norri,
town Herald.