Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-02-08
SMUDGET'S WASHING.MACHISE.
DIT NUx voAIICA.

We'll now, Hulda, have struck it;
YOU and | have worked hard ell our
lives, and now We'll take it easy. Mr..
Grimes said it was COED thing, and /
know it is; only have to be rubbed
about five minutes, come out as white
as snow; I've been working on it good
while. You thought [ was grouty, l
suppose, when used to sit off in the
corner, by myself, and would not hardly
say a word to you or the children; but
YOU were mistaken; I was simply form
ing this great project in my mind. [
don't begrudge the time l've spent on it,
Hulda, for it's going to pay US back
mighty big"
Now, Thomas Jackson, if you've
got sense enough left, will you just set
yourself down in that chair and tell me
if you're crazy or gone stark mad. You
come a yelling into the house like an
Injun, talking about Mr.. Grimes and
a good thing and about not having to
boil it at all, and coming out white as
snow Who is Mr.. Grimes? But it
don't make any difference who he is.
You'd better stay to hum and mind
your own business, cause, just so quick
as you go to fooling with them town
sharks, they'll beat you, ormy name amt
Hulda."
"Hulda Smudget, I won't stand here
and hear you go on SO about Mr..
Grimes. He's the man what's going to
get my washingmachine patented for
me, and he says it's splendid good
T,,rpc a o,,1-
child can use it. Mr.. Grimes told ne
himself, to-day, with his own lips, it was
the greatest wonder to him somebody
hadn't thought of it before. Oh, 1 tell
you Hulda, he's nice man. [ haven't
known him but day or two, and he's
just like brother to me. lie says to
me right on the start, says he, Mr..
Smudget, you have struck it rich; you
won't have to labor any more when you
get this worked up, for it will bring you
in mint of money every year. Now,
I'm going right down town, and say,
Hulda, when I come back I'll bring you
nice new gown; you've been a good
wife to me, and now, just because I'm
getting wealthy, I amt going back on
you; you shall have a girl to do your
work, and-I believe, pom my word,
when come back, I'll bring myself
box of cigars. I never smoked one of
the pIaguey things in my life, but when
folks get rich, you know, they've got to
put on some style. And l tell you
what, Hulda, you and I will just sit
right here, and eat yaller-legged chick
ems and Amboy oysters, While the cele
brated Smudget washing-machine is
being introduced all over this country
and Europe"
Thomas Jackson, do you take of
your shoes and stockings this minute,
and get your feet into this pail OF hot
water, or you'll be introduced into some
lunatic asylum. You're a pretty speci-
men, amt you? talking about yaller-
legged chickens, and cigars, and hired
girls. I've did all my own work FOR
the last twenty years, besides doing
part of yours, and don't think I'll COM
mence now a-haying some frowsely-
headed gal mincing around here for
HE to wait on, and You to 1lirt with.
Oh, know you'll You needn't look.
And as for cigars, you'd look sweet,
wouldn't you, stamping around with
cigar IN your mouth? Every pig on the
place would die laughing at you. But
what's the use Of talking? it's all you
can do to white & straight stick. I'd
like TO see the washing machine you'd
get up. There wouldn't be no harm in
worshiping it, cause 'twou!dn't be Ike
anything in the heaven above CT the
earth beneath"
"Now, Hulda, Tn a7hamed on you. L
just wish Mr. Grimes was here to talk
to you few minutes; he'd convince
you quicker than n wet sponge could
take the writing of'n 2 slate. Why, just
look at If, Hulda! Wen say there's
thirty States. OF course there's more
than that, but we'll put it low enough.
And then well say there's 300 towns in
a State. OF course there's more than
that, bat I don't want to color the
picture any, Hulda. Everybody has TO
have washing done, don't they, Hulda?
That's where I've got EN-. You see
New and useful invention; turns with
crank; no boiling, no soap; child can
use IL l tell you, Hulda, the more
think ont the more I think I've got
good thing. Mr.. Grimes said all it
wanted now was pushing, ana Tn going
to commence to push this afternoon.
shall have about fifty Of 'em made and
then I'm going to take old Betsy and
start out to ;ntroducin' EN-"
Well, there haln't 10 law in this
country to prevent a man from making
a fool OF himself as I knows on; but If
you wasn't 4 particular friend of mine
l wouldn't live with you minute, for if
ever there was crazy critter let loose,
you're one. All Mr.. Grimes wants is
your money, and if you'd had any bring
ing up you'd see it. OF course he's
like a brother to You. He'll stick to
you closer than a bad reputation rs long
as you've got cent, and then he'll drop
you; and, if I amt very much mis-
taken, about the time you light you'll |
begin to come to your senses"
But there was no use arguing with |
Thomas. He had made up his mind to
so into the patent-right business-and |
when a man gets patent rights into his
head you might as well let him alone,
for it's a sort of an epidemic: and,
when IL strikes a man IL strikes him |