The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1880-10-06
aIs + thn first rou lnow %

was DldlTOlliN- o!lu G4titu bOt AAteAN
or anybody said Sir, who is your
fdoctor?"
my doctor, Ma have no
doctor.
"Then who is your nurse, sir p
"My nurse, Madam; | have no
nurse"
is it possible: l have heard Of
such men before. Why don't you
hurry home to your poor wife at
once, sir?"
My wife, Madam: l have no
wife"
~Then the more shame for you,
YOU audacious rascal why don't
you return to the poor unfortunate
creature at once sir ,"
Now, at another window and
house, in her night-gown, was one
of those blessed good women we oc-
casionaIy meet, always foremost in
attending the sick and de5titute, and
nursing comforting the afflicted. She
commenced to cry as soon as she
heard this, and called out excitedly:
NV dear sir, please hurry. Think
of the poor suffering creature all
alone-may Heaven protect her!
can ! not accompany you home,
sir?"
what, Madam"
Can | not 90 with You sir? ! am
an excellent nurse.
Excuse me, Madam, l never
heard of such an extraordinary prop
osition. You, in your night dress,
want TO go with me Madam Great
Scott / beg you Madam, to turn off
that gas Jet behind you. Are you
people crazy? What the devel Is all
this row about anyhow? ! fellow
might think the long roll was being
sounded" "
Did YOU say it was the 18th, y
asked the man with the gun.
"Of course | did. III put money
on that. Take away that gun, sir |!
I'll prefer charges against you if you
point II tElS way.
Just then the druggist opened the
door and he passed in.
"Mv friend, said he, Il have
awakened YOU at last after much ef-
fort, but my business was such that
it would brook no delay. | am
q stranger in Washington and have
not been here for wears. What kind
of a neighborhood Is this? Are all
these private houses insane aSyl
umns? One lady talked TO me about
nv doctor and nurse and my wife,
and she called me 4 rascal another
wanted to go home with me, and
gentleman asked me the day Of the
month two or three times, and an
other wanted me to shoot through
your key-hole it Is really extraordi-
nary. But my business with You,
my friend. Have YOU directory? ?
But perhaps l viii not need it 4; may
be YOU can direct me, how to 90 to
the Ebbitt -
The druggist told him to 90 two
squares east, three south, then east
again FIVE squares, around two or
three circles, and be particular not
tomistake thesreets for the avenues
nor the avenues for the streets.
MY friend, ! can never be sniff
ciently thankful to you for Your very
clear and explicit direction, and il |
troubled YOU by calling YOU up
beg pardon Good night"
And he sauntcred away, hum
ming Benny Hayens," and caring
but little about tho harsh remarks
made by the curious neighbors.
Good butter, / am informed in
the past two week has gone up in
price considerably. We pay how
ever as we take it the year round,
from one man, forty cents per pound
for Philadelphia print Meeting Mr.
:. w. Jones, wholesale commission
merchat, 203 Seventh street, y. ".
| asked him what | should say
about the rise in butter. He said,
tell your people who have good
butter, now is the time to sell. Good
Somerset county butter would
bring from twenty-eight to thirty
cents per pound in the Washington
market
But, | said, Mr.. Jones, won't it be
higher?
Il don't believe it will, and ! viii |
give YOU my reason for so thinking. |
You see by the latter pant of next |
month. rs the weather gets cooler,
the Oleo-Margarine, which is now |
out of the market on account OF the |
heat, viii be shipped by the cart |
load, and butter will come down in
price instead of rise as some people
believe.
The fact of the matter is, says Mr..
Jones, that the people can't tell the
difference in cold weather between
oleo-margarine and good butter,
they have got to manufacturing it
so finely, and on accountof the. loose
laws now prevailing in regard to the
sale of the stuff, the place will be
flooded with it this winter, and no
of the mass of the people
will be any the wiser.
He SAYS a Baltimore agent told
him last week that their oleo-mar-
garine factory was now turning out
5000 pounds per day
These Baltimore fellows buy up
all the tallow in the Washington
market. The result is, on account
of the competition of the different
factory agents, the price of suet and
tallow rose in one day, three cents
on the pound.
Mr., Nelson Meyers, of Meyersdale,
since the war got an idea into his
head that a wooden horse collar
would be Just big thing and no
doubt spent valuable time in invent
ing and perfecting the same. His
model Reversible wooden horse col
lar" was submitted to patent experts
here last week, previous to filing an
for letters patent on the
and on going through the
numberless collars put up in glass
cases in the patent office, lol and
behold, much to the modification of
those interested in giving friend