The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-01-08
many, and considerable money out

the same you have me?" asked Jeremy. |
No, don't often get chance" she
replied; "you see, the old woman Just
went out, or I should not have got in
here. mean to get away from them
pretty soon, as soon as I can get another
place. They both drink and abuse me
shamefully."
Jeremy did not stop to hear more,
but took his hat and.ran into the street,
went at such pace until be was out
of sight of the house that policeman
on the corner had q great notion of
arresting him on suspicion of some
crime.
He never heard what the professor of
the grease-extr4 4ctor thought of his con-
duct. Dear, good Jeremy; he felt he
was too honest fellow to peddle soap
suds at 30 cents a half-pint bottle, even
peiIed d IN 1S moment. He, 81 Gece Course fft 4eft
a pang of disappointment and resolved
to return home again, after making a
tour of the city. So he wandered up
and down the streets, looking into shop
windows and up at the gold-lettered
signs and placards, till sundown. Then
he entered bakery, invested 4 cents
in biscuits, which he speedily deyoured,
and inquired for place where he would
be apt to get nights lodging. A snap
pish woman behind the counter advised
him to go to the Montrose House, across
the way. Proceeding thither, he stalked
into the doorway, as he imagined mill
ionaire would, and asked the clerk,
How much viii you ask to keep mo
here to-night?" A little, slick haired,
dandy-looking fellow, whom Jeremy al
ready had his eyes on as a pickpocket,
or somebody of about that stamp, stood
by, saying, "Aw, how green, etc.
Jeremy stood it as long as he could, un-
til the clerk told him his lodging would
be rs cents; then, turning upon the
dandy disdainful look, offered to lick
him for just CENTS The clerk imme-
diately informed Jeremy that no fight
ing was allowed in the house, but1if he
wished to indulge in that recreation, he
might as well go to the Porter House,
just block away. Suddenly taking
the hint, Jeremy went as directed.
Meeting at the door an object that he
took either for the proprietor or whis-
ky-barrel, he abruptly inquired:
Keep fellow here tonight who is
ready to fight any city dandy
who dares to insult him2"
Well, yes; them's just the kind.
Here, Jim, show him to loom 26, was
the reply. In ten minutes Jeremy was
in bed and asleep. Half an hour later
he was awake, and bade fair to remain
SO. An attack from those venomous
insects vulgarly termed bed-bugs re-
quired his wakeful attention. They
were apparently SO numerous that, un-
less hasty and vigilant means we're re-
sorted to, Jeremy felt he must be anni-
| hilated. Thus he fought in coed earnest
| All night long the siege lasted. The
slaughter was terrible. The number of
the slain amounted to about 9,070, ac-
eording to Jeremy's estimate. The CORY
sheets were sight to behold. s-@-isf
| Musing upon his conquest in the
morning, Jeremy concluded he had
well earned his nights lodging. So he
dressed himself, crept softly down the
stairway, whisked out the door, and
scampered down the street without
settling bill. -
Abo 10 o'clock, as he was saunter-
ing Arlington avenue, heavy hand
graz ed his shoulder, a pair of handouts
were thrust on his wrists, and voice,
loud enough to arouse the seven
sleepers. exclaimed: $" You are my
| prisoner" -
Prisoners must be scarce replied
Jeremy, "since simple country lad
like me cannot walk the streets without
being arrested"
Perhaps it is more of an offense
than you think to leave a hotel without
paying your bill" the officer replied,
marching Jeremy along to the lookup.
After reaching that vile abode, which
appeared to be filed with profane,
drunken wretches, poor Jeremy began
to think his fathers potato field was a
more becoming place for him. But he
was compelled to remain thero until the
next day, when he was taken to the
Police Court. The case was the first on
the docket, and to Jeremy's great
relief shortly disposed of. After lit
tie parley by the lawyers, the prisoner
was allowed to plead his own case, and
the following was the sum and sub
stance of his speech:
Gentlemen, suppose I committed
a great mistake by not paying my bill
at the Porter House. But when I relate
the sufferings endured that night, and
you realize my hair-breadth escape, you
must admit am the aggrieved party
No soldier on the battlefield evel
fought for his life as I fought for mine
between the hours of 8 in the evening
and 6 in the morning, utterly annihilat
ing between nine and ten thousand of the
longest-billed, ravenous insects, which
country people innocently call bed-bugs
that ever encountered. Oh, it was {
hard nights work. I would rather have
hoed potatoes three days Qaughter), ant
thought / earned my nights lodging
and that the proprietor of the hote
would think I did him great favor. 81
Ileft the house as quietly as possible
feeling had done my duty, hoping tn
next weary traveller, who occupied Nc
26, would not meet with so hearty re
ception as fell to me. Gentlemen, tn
affection those insects manifest for man
kind is indeed marvellous, and find i
my case that their demonstrations ar
yery exhausting to ones vitality"
Everyone in the courtroom wa
convulsed with laughter as the pris
oner now sat down, apparently fror
sheer WEAKNESS, wiping his eyes wit
his coat sleeves. He was released b
paying $l ana cOst, Wnlcn IooA 1ne Aae
, penny he had.
In few hours he left the city, shah
ing the dust from his No. IL bovine
hide boots. convinced that th
{, country was the place for him. Th
following night he slept in bar
| twelve miles from the city, sufferin
|, much from the cravings of hunger, an
was hotly pursued the next mornin
J about daylight by the proprietress {
the place, with an uplifted broom, an
I the fiercest Impressions. She allowe
no tramps ON her premises over nigh
and the next time he came that way b
had better not call. Jeremy assured he
he would not.
We think he would have been quit