The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-07-30
FACRTIR.
SUMNER sYMPro Ms.

SUMMER SYMPTOMS.
She and he they drank tasir tea,
And laughed and joked in iun snd %irolici
Then ate 9 Cucumber spieoe,
And doubled up with common colo.
The little peach catches the early
market.
The earthquake was the original
Shaker.
Marriage makes the man; the woman
was maid before.
The motto Of the Irish pedestrian
"PAce at any price"
Pride hath two seasons--a for ward
spring and an early fall.
The school children Ere opposed to a
third term this spring,
"Whet is needed in the Nursery
more mother and less nurse.
A Philadelphia antiquarian who mar
ried a young widow says she is the most
interesting relict he has ever found.
"And, oh, Eiward," fnid the girl he
was going to leave behind lin, "at every
stopping place be sure you write, then
20 ahead"
The most afflicted part Of the house
is the window. 1t is always full Of psnes;
and who has not seen more than one
window blind2
Never deceive q lawyer. Never lie to
him about your case when he takes it
in hand. He can attend to that branch
OF the business himself.
"Now tell me candidly, are you gull.
ty ?" asked a lawyer OF his client. "Why,
do you suppose Id DO fool enough to
hire you if 1 Was innocent 2"
Gtase-"I am going to see Clara to-
day. Have you any message? Char
lotte-"I wonder how you can visit
that dreadful girl. Give her my love-"
A case Of domestic scandal was under
discussion ut a tee-table. swell, let us
think the best OF her we can," said an
elderly spinster. eyes," said another,
"and say the worst-that's the fashion,"
A Yankee editor wighes to know
whether tho law recently passed pro-
hibiting the carrying OF deadly weapons
applies to doctors who carry pills in
their pockets.
ats a good thing to have a handsome
penman for a beau," said Mary, as size
glanced over a billet douS. "Yes," re-
piled Julia; "if the penmani s only hand.
some, I don't care how homely the pen
manghip is"
Professor Northrup said the other day
in Faoeuil hall, Boston, that, according
to modern teaching, man, instead OF
being a little lower than the angels,
finds himself to be only a little higher
than the apes.
An exchange heads an article: "How
TO Save One hundred Million Dollars a
Year" One of the resolutions we made
on the first day Of January was a "Te-
solve" not to saw go large a sum this
year, end we shall not break it.-Nor-
Tist0Wn Herald.
The Montana Daily Miner says: "The
handsome new fire. engine is stored in a
small building on West Broadway. From
its present place of keeping the engine
can easily be run out OF town, ana beyond
danger in case of fire."
An old lady visiting the Antiquarian
Museum in Edinburgh the other dav,
on inspecting the old weapons very
earnestly, and falling 10 find what she
was apparently looking for, asked a
visitor if he could tell her whereabouts
they kept the Axe of the Apostles.
"What earthly use is it," exclaimed q
languid Washington swell the other
morning, ''our twying to be awisto-
c%watic, monarchical, and that sort of
thing, when a Senator OF the United
States eats peanuts while widing in the
sweet car? We're nothing bat o how'd
wepublic, after ALL"
"What do you suppose I'll look like
when 1 get out of this?" Indignantly
inquired a fashionably dressed young
lady of a conductor Of q fearfully over
crowded street car the other day. "a
good deal like crushed sugar, miss"
said the ticket-puncher. And the lady
stood mp and sode four blocks further,
with the smile OF an angel,
Chinese Arbitration.
All Goo uylO ho;lc from, tho oio esic