The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1880-04-01
Hunting the Shears.

Mrs. Major Wheelock, wife of that old
pioneer and eminently respected citizen
of that name, leaned over the banistcr the
other morning and answered him:
"Tbe shears? Why, they are right
down there somewhere. was using
them not FIVE minutes ago."
The major wanted them to trim off .
horsebianl:et at the barn, and be marched
into the sitting-room and up to the fami-
" work. basket. Of course they were
there. He tumblcd a ball of yarn, q
paper of pins, a half-made garment, a
button box and pin. cushion off on the
floor, made dive among the bodk'ns,
worsted, threads and daruing.needles, and
the shears did not turn up. He stood
the work basket on its head, but it was
no good. Then he went over to the
what-uot and rakcd of three or four
photographs, ratified down lot of shells
and knocked off two books, but the shears
were not there. He was red in the face
As be went into the hall and called out !:
II can't find hide nor hair of 'em, and
I don't believe you ever had any p :.
"Now look again-that's good man."
she replied. 81 know they are right
there?"
The major got Gown on his hands and
knees and looked under the lounge. No
shears. Then be stood up and looked
on the mantle. The nearest approach to
shears there was a bent hair.pin. Then
he walked around and surveyed each
windowsill and gave the work-basket
another racket.
81 tell you there amt no shears there
or else I'm blinder'n a bat!" he shouted
from the hall after he had given the hall
tree looking over.
"Why, major, how impatient you
arep
"There's no impatience about it! l
tell you the shears amt here No one
can ever find anything in this house l
had to look straight hour the other day
to find the gimlet"
eff you don't see them in the bedroom
I'll come down."
He entered the bedroom, glanced over
the bureau and stand, pulled the shams
off the pillows and whirled the pillows
around, and then took down hair oil
bottle from bracket and looked into it.
The shears were not in the bottle nor
! anywhere else. Stay! They might have
been carried under the bed by that mys-
terious household tide which carries artl-
cles from room to room in an invisible
| manner. He crawled under, bumped
his head on the Stats, got dust in MS
throat; and was backing out with blood
! in his eye when his wife called out: -.
"Why, what on earth are you afterT
"After! Afterp he shouted, as be
! almost coughed his head off-'I'm after
them shearsP
"Why, here they are They were
lying in my sewing chair, right in plain
| sight" =,
S'I don't believe it'll never believe
| it! looked into that chair over ten
thousand times !"
"Well, there they are."
"It's no such thing You've lost 'em
or pawned 'em or traded 'em for gum.
You've no more order in your house than
an old cooper shop!" :,
He walked past the chair into the nall
and was going out when she called:
"Dear, aren't you going to take The
shears ?"
"Shears? What shears? I'm going
over to the store and buy me pair OF
shears, and if any human being in this
house ever puts finger on 'em they'll
suffer for it! I'll see if l cart have
pair of shears in my house after being
married for upward of forty-three years..
And he pulled down his hat and
slammed the door with all his might as
he went out-Detroit Free Press.