St. Landry democrat. (Opelousas, La.) 1878-1894, 1880-09-11
ALL SORTS.

| Cu'tttis VI CNCH lHitNCS'
Good breeding is Il letter OF credit
all over the world.
-"Doing to others as you would nave
them do to you''-kissing pretty glrls'
To bring up a child in the way 1t
should go, lead the way.
! The promises of some men always
remain ''shall owe'-(shallow).
There is man in Galveston so bow
legged that the tailor has to cut bis pants
out with a scroll saw.
-"Where is the man who is gong
! forty days without Il drink " lie lS
dead" answers the Houston Post.
Faith moves mountains, but it can
! bulge a woman from ier standpoint III
an argument.
-Bigotry knows of but one way to
reach heaven, while faith knows or q
hundred.
1t is well to give heed to Your doubts,
for they are very often the dawnings OF
truth.
An exchange advises young men to
drink whisky only in those months that
have "ll" in their names,
When locomotive engineer runs
over his accounts, neither the coroner
nor the cow-catcher are called into re-
quisition.
| The Omaha Herald says Il drink of
Council Bluffs whisky will make Il man
go Off to some secluded place and rob
himself.
-':I[an,!s wanted on boys pants is
A few slippers and old Shingles are i'll
| demand also.-I Houston Post.
! The man who will believe in notl1-
| ing he cannot see, will lie satisfied quick
est by thrust from the argument at
| the end OF & wasp.
Said Jones: "Smth went have so
soft a thing as he had 81 don't know"
replied Robinson, "hc'llha a soft thing
SO long as he doesn't lose his head"
An advertisement says: "Save your
hair while you have got it," Travellers
on the Indian frontier should cut the adj
vertisement out and paste it IN their
hats Galveston News.
A man who wears tight shoes re-
sembles an oak, from the simple fact
that he raises corns.-I Houston
Post.
"Before begin this story. I must tell
you that am a commercial traveller"
ooh that is nothing we would have
found it out before You ti,sished," was
the reply.
-'It is now almissabIe:fo for a young
lady to go anywhere with short dress.D
t. Ex. Yes, but the right way is for her
to have it wrapped up and carry it un-
der her arm.-[ Houston Post.
A correspondent writes, (Which is
the hardest thing to raise on farm 20
| Well, this question is open fbr argument;
but a two thousand Pound press-screw
was the toughest thing we ever tackled.
-[Houston Post.
Among the recent mats,ralized WIS.,
itOrs at the Lake Pleasant Spiritualist
camp meeting were George Nv ashiDg gton,
Abraham Lincoln, Edwils NJ. Stanton,
Gen. Thomas, Jim Fisk. and "an ancient
Persian nearly seven feet kigh.'
An exchange says "1Aunder wor-
ship is Dracticed by certain of the ma
tives near the British settlements on the
west coast of Africa In :this country
they worship lightning-4hat is, Rot
Gut, and few other bran,ls.
They were at a dinner party, and he
remarked that he supposed she was fond
of ethnology. She said shs was, bnt was
, not very well, and the tlactor had told
her not 10 eat anything for desert but
oranges.-[Capitotian. i:
Truth crushed TO tile ground will
rise again. lex. SO Will a piece of
stove wood, if you happen to hit il "a q
gancing lick with an az, and when it
rises, like truth, it generally hurts
Houston Post.
"A young lady wants 70 know what
, will take the smell OF oeions from her
breath. Don't eat chem. dear; but if
you must, take your breath out, boil for
two hours, and then sprilskle with 1T IT.
tie cologne. This will d9 the business,
-"Why is it that Whisky straight will
make & man walk crookeI ~ asks an ex-
change. Why is it 2? Wig, it is because
, you drink it.. You leave Che whisky in
3 the jug and it will aot r,ake Won walk
crooked.
: An ostrich recently swallowed fif-
teen stones. seven mails anecktie, an
envelope, thirteen coins, sourteen beads,
two keys, a handkerthiefs medal, and
] effort to look cross-eyed.-.~[ Boston Post.
A man named Onion lises in a neigh :.
boring town. There Is treason to be-
leve he Is q man OF sense.-[Ex. Wrong,
He is continually geltinGin stew, and
is in bad odor among his fellows.-[Bos-
; "A writer says: NTheampire OF wo-
! man is the empire: of -Oftness. of al
J dress, of complacensy. sIer commands
t are caresses, her anensces tears.n a
. good many marriedmenswill weep whe1,
0 they read this. It's lia-like.-IHous-
! ton Post.
-verdant, who asksz"which side 81
the COW should the milksnaid be on - Ea Is
informed that the outside is tho riphf
side. The fact that llaiIDins and breast.
pins are frequently found in tile stOm :
achs of cows, shows tlsat the inside nf
9 the animal is very unhealthy place fo,
It a milkmaid.-[NorHistoss n Herald.
o Two editors were seated side T.,
side at a circus. Al traTRze woman was
coming down the rope lpttom side m: n
slowly the rope wonnd :Erounil her limbs
and body so that she Scarcely moved
"How gradually slle cores DOWN. said
one editor. "Yes.n saidsthe other, "iust
d like some Of my subscribers" ''
Yesterday, Gilhooly told his landla.
y dy that he was going to: withdraw from
+ the canvass, and pnt up: at some othe,
), boarding house. "WhY, Mr.. Gilboolv
+ what con ha tIo ,o.ttans - 1t,'"voiy