Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1880-06-04

HE HEARS \ TELEPHONE CONVERSATION.
Atlantic Monthly.l
consider that conversation by tclc-
phone-when You are simply sitting by
and not taking any part in the conversa-
tion-is one Of the soiemnest curiositiGs
Of this modern life. Yesterday | was
writing deep article on n sublime philo-
sophical subject, while such convcrsa-
tion was going ON in the room. notice
that one can always write best when
somebody is talking through Il telephone
close by. Well, the thing begun i'll this
way A member of our household came
i'll and asked to have our house put i'll
connection with Mr.. Bagley's down town.
| have observed in many cities, that the
sex always shrink from calling up the
central office themselves. L don't know
why, but they do. So touched the bell
and this talk ensued
Central office (grufiv iv)-"Hello.
lis this the Central Office ?"
c. O.-"Of course ii is. What Ito You
want:''
-"Will you switch me OH to the Bag
ley'splcase:"
C. O.-'All right. Jus: keep your car
10 the telephone"
Then heard h-Iook. k-ipok, k-Ll,ok,
k-l0ok H0ok-kIook-iook-iook! ! then Il hor
riblc ''gritting' of teeth, then piping
female voice ''Y-e-s?' rising inilec-
ton.
Without answering, / handed the telc-
phone to the applicant and sat down.
/ Then followed the quaerost Of all queer
/ things in the world conversation with
only one end to it. You hear questions
asked you don't hear the answers. You
hear invitations given you hear no
! thanks in return. You have listening
pauses Of dead silence. followed by ap-
| parently irrelevant and unlustifiable ex-
clamations Of glad surprise or sorrow OF
dismay. You can't make head or tail of
the talk, because You never hear any
thing that the person at the other end of
the wire says. Well, l heard the follow
ing remarkable series of observations, all
from one tongue, and all shouted-for
You can't ever persuade the sex to speak
gently into a telephone.
Yes? Why, how dill Ma! happen?'
| Pause
What did you say ?"
Pause
''oh, no. 1.n't thi"t 1t was.
Pause.
NO , Oh, no. | didn't mean Mat |
meant, put it III while it is still boiling
or just before it cohtes to boil.
Pause
What =
Pause.
Il turned it over with back stitch on
the selvedge edge"
Pause.
Yes, like that WY too but | think
its better to baste i. on with Va!encien-
nes or bombazine, or something of that
sort 1t gives i. such an air--and attracts
so much notice"
Pause
Its forty ninth Deuteronomy. sixty
| fourth to uinety-sevcnth inclusive. |
think we ali ought TO read it often"
Pause
perhaps So; generally use hair
PIN
Pause
What did you say? Isile. Child
rem, do be quiet -
Pause
OLE, h Rat, Dear Pie, Thought You
said 1t was the eat -
''Since Whtn ,"
Pause
Why Incver heard of it,
Pause
"You astound me, 1t seems utterly
| impossible" :"
Pause
WHO lid?"
Pause
Goodness gracious !"
Pause
"Well, what is the world coming Ia?
Was it i'll chm'ch p
Pause
And WAS her nlothor thcre?'
Pause
why, Mrs Bagley. | should have
died of humiliation. What did they do =
Long pause.
Il cant be perfectly sure, because |
haven't the notes by me but think ii
goes something like this te-rolly ly-loll-loll,
loll-lolly- -loll, o tolly-loll-itc-i ig-H-i-
do And then repca. you know
Pause
'Ycs, | think it is very sweet and very
solemn and impressive, if you get the an
dsntino and pignissiino right.
| Pause.
"Oh, gum-,lrops, gum-drops! But
never allow them to ent striped candy.
And of course they ca9t till they get
| their teeth -
Pause.
WHAT"
Pause.
"Oh, not in tho leas;-go right on.
He's here writing,-it doesn't bother
him.'
Pause
Very well, I'll come if can. .i&ido |
Dear me. how it does tire IL persons arm
to hold this thing up so long. wish
| shed"
Pause
"oh, no. not nt all | like to talk, but
l m afraid I'm keeping you from y"ur
Affairs"
Pause
''Nisitors?'
Pause.
NO, we never uso butter on them
! Pause.
''lcs, that is very good way but all
the cook-hoohs say they are very un-
healthy when they are out of season. And
he doesn't like them anyway especially
canned.
Pnuse
''Oh, | think that il too high for them I;
We never paid over 80 cent II bunch
| Pause
"HHH' you 60? Wcll g"oi-hy."
! Pause
Yea, think ~. G'oOi-by.
Pause.
"F"ur "'rlori., then I'll he ready
Pause
THANK you ever 10 much. Gpodby."
Pause.
"Oh, not ut all Just as fresh -ahich?
Oh, I'm glad I" hear You say that Gond-
by
Hangs up the telephone and says :
! "oh, 1T dOCs tire n person $ arm 81.
\ mnn delivers u sngle brutal "1;ood-
by" and that IL the end of it, Not So
with the gentle sex say ii in their
praise they cannot abide abruptnesa.