The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1880-10-13
JOB PRINTING
AN OYSTER YARN.

A New York correspondent to
the Philadelphia Press tells the
following amusing story:
never found anything but ouce
here in excess of my expectation
or even approaching them, and
that was the New York oysters.
[ had then just come on from Cal
ltornia, where oysters are very
small and unimportant, not to say
insignificant, and l had often eat
hundred there at a time, and
had always felt that | could eat
more if | had them. So, when I
arrived at the Metropolitan hotel
| ardered my dinner to be served
in my room, and told the waiter
TO bring with my dinner a strong
cup of coffee and hundred raw
oysters. He looked at me a mo.
ment, and then said
"Dld l understand you to say a
hundred oysters ?''
. eyes," [ answered; ;"raw, on the
half she'll, with vinegar; no lemons,
and as soon as you can, for 1 am
very hungry"
"Ahem! Miss, did you want
hundred?
ayes, l do. What are you wait
ing for? Must I pay for them in
advance? l want nice large ones"
"No, NO, miss. All right, you
shall have them," and he went out.
l continued my writing and
forgot all about my dinner till he
knocked and came in with my din
ner on tray, but no oysters"
How is this ?" said I; "There
are no oysters"
"Dey's comm, miss, dey's
comin'," and the door opened and
in filed three more walters, each
with a big tray Of oysters on the
half she'll. I was staggered but
only for moment for | saw the
walters were grinning so l calmly
| directed them to place one tray
on a chair, one on the washstand
and one on the bed; and said
"They are very small aren't
| they?
"Oh! no, miss, de berry largest
| we'se got"
"Very WE'LL" said I; "you can
| 80. IfI want any more I'll ring"
When they got out into the hall
| one said to the other:
Fore heaven, 10, if she eats ali
| them oysters she's dead woman"
[ did not feel hungry any longer,
drank my coffee and looked at
the oysters, every one of them
as big as my hand, and they all
seemed looking at me with their
horrible white faces and out of
their one diabolical eye, until l
could not have eaten one any
more than 1 could have carved up
a live baby. They jeered at me
and seemed to dare me to attack
them. Our California oysters
are small and with no more indi-
vidual character about them than
grains Of rice, but these detestable
creatures where Instinct with evil
intentions, and l dare not swol-
low one for fear of the disturb
aEce he might raise in my interior,
so | set about getting rid of them,
for l was never going to give up
beaten before those walters. I
hung a dress over the keyhole
after l locked the door, and just
outside my window found tin
~aterspout that had a small hole
in it. l carefully enlarged it, and
then slid every one of those beast
iy creatures down one by one
one hundred and two of them
they all the time eyeing me with
that cold, pasty look of malignity.
When the last one was out OF sight
| stopped trembling and finished
my dlrner in peace, and then rang
| for the walters. You should have
seen their faces ? One of the wait
ers asked if | would have some
more. May he never know the
internal paDg he inflicted upon
me; but | replied calmly;
| "Not now. I think too many
| at once might be hurtful."