The Ripley advertiser. [volume] (Ripley, Miss.) 1843-1897, 1880-12-04

conceal my feelings. Her neck
! was not quite as long as that of a
sand hill crane, but can honestly
say it was the longest neck | ever
saw under wOman's head, and il
appeared to be entirely constructed
of little round cords, not larger
than a telegraph wire, and they all
seemed to be outside Of the skin
aud very much twisted, and each
one was ehcased in d separate
tube and apparently working on
its own hook. They looked like
the twisted cords that run. from the
deck of Sall.ship to the mast
head. did not, OF course, have
time TO couut the muscles OF her
neck--l might have done SO in a
Week--but | did not wish to stay
so long. So far as hair is concerned,
Mics Tadpoddle had more Of it
than any two women | ever saw.
The lashes other little round, black
eyes were near an inch long, and
Tapped over when she winked so as
to conceal the eye, as we'll as the
place where it had hid. The eye
brows were rolled up in sort Of
wave, like that Of an ape, and the
hair on her head was equal Ia three
horse's tails, all put together. 1t
was as black as the ravens wing
and as coarse as a hogs bristle! Ii
lay loose and scattered around pro-
miscuously, hooking like a barrel OF
ink had been emptled upon the
bed. She had a piouslache nearly
an inch long. The idea Of woman
having a moqstache-lt made me
shiver TO look at her Her skin
: was as white as snow, aNd il she
had any veins in her body, they
were not visible to the naked eye.
miss Clattermouth was, by no
means like Miss Tadpoddle--in
fact. l never eaw TWO people less
alike than they were. Miss Olaf
termouth was little, dark7skinned
woman, with a pug nose and very
small mouth, and no teeth, either
natural or artificial, and the thiu
lips appeared to be at loss to
know what to do with themselves.
The mouth was entirely too small
tor the lips, hence they were forced
to double themselves up, or rather
to roll into little folds, so as to have
more room. When her mouth was
shut, it looked like little scar on
a wOnan's cheek but when it was
open it resembled bullet hole in
a yellow pumpkin. | had often
heard of these two remarkable
women--in fact, l had never found
a man or woman in Memphis who
had not, for they were really cele
brated characters. and could read
lily understand why DIR. Dodson
dislilsed them. l have made one
very great mistake--I said they
were not at ell alike. | meant to
say they did not resemble each
other in personal appearance, but
in one respect they we're, exactly
alike--their tongues were the same
II never saw such machines any
where. am at a loss for words
adequate to describe their tongues.
Hail falling on dry hides would be
silence by those two wonderful
tongaes. A dozen telegraph bat
teries, working at once, wouldn't
make such clattsr, Notwith.
standing all this clatter and confu.
sioh, was to understand thatI was
in 4 sick ,lady's chamber, and was
expected to cure the patient. As
soon as 7 was able to shove in a
word, enquired Of Miss Tadpod-
dleithe nature Of her complaint
@Oh, Doctorl ana 60 glad you
lcame to see me. 1 declare thought
n should die before you got here.
! tRod don't know how delighted /
lm to see you. | never exagger-
lite. despise exaggeration Iii is
Ihylchsraciet to despise id. never
! htter iti Is tng character 70 hale
3 Atterg You may fely ou any
. ling | say, Doctor, for 4 never use
& dtraVsgant language+-itais my
!; daracter net to use II. | feel 50
!. IPos better since you came, Doc
II u; your pleasant smile has all
i INST cured me. Fin sure / shall
. sd get we'll, The pleasure it'
1 giks me TO look at your cheerful
3 fat ismuch better than medicine,
J. Shown near me, Doctor, where II
! cabee you good. Feel nay pulse.
Z II lmuch more regular than when
3 yo4anle. | have heard SO mueh|
al abf you, Doctor Demar They
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