The new Northwest. [volume] (Portland, Or.) 1871-1887, 1880-05-13
YOURS TRULY" on HOUSE
CLEANING.

NEsI VINO may have occasionally III
quired for the undersigned during her
long absence from the field OF newspaper
correspondence, Yours Truly comes with
her profoundest obiesanee, battered
hands, and chapter on house-eleaning.
The Governor had been rheumatic and
cross, and Jim (who is the proud father
OF two boys now) had been cautious
about Yours Truly's health, and mother
had been ailing, and baby number one
had been teething, and baby number
two had had the collie, and it never
you'd stop raining-and, taken alto
ge'acr, 70 sccC:cd a7 ;fth1 S7si-- HcGrc-
cleaning would he delayed till the Au-
tumn, with fair prospect then Of post
pcning il indefinitely. But the carpets
were dusty aud the paint was soiled,
and some OF the door-knobs were of,
and the rugs were getting ragged, and
the kitchen doorstep was broken, aud
the pump was out OF order, and the
cook stove was choked in the flue, and
the stove-pipes in the upstairs rooms
were all rusty, and the windows all over
the house were smoked, and the cur
tains were dingy, and the ceilings were
ditto, and The plastering was cracked,
aud the wall paper was soiled. And
yet-wouid you believe it, Mrs. D. p
the men folks, from the Governor in the
best room to tho Chinaman In the
kitchen, aud from Yours Truly's adora-
bic Jim to Dennis O'Flaherty, the chief
of the gang of "wur-r-kin'- who've
been nursing a job Of "slashing" all
Winter, at the price OF dollar per day
to the hand, with board and lodging at
the expense of the carpets and the paint
aud the smoked windows. and the
broken doorstep, and all the other
etceteras thrown in-the sons of women,
as you sometimes call 'em-every one
declared up and up, every time the sub
ject WAS mentioned, that the house
didn't need cleaning-that there wasn't
any dirt to speak Of, and they didn't be-
lisve In upsetting everything just to
please the whims OF women.
Yours Truly bore Il for a whole month
/ after the house-cleaning fit was on her,
/ just TO see if the men could ever learn
to acknowledge the presence Of dirt.
But they didn't, and the last Monday in
April came round, and the Teigning
powers showed no signs Of yielding, aud
Yours Truly grew desperate and brought
down her foot. Not that she's a terma-
CANT, Mrs D., but she's determined not
to live in dirt if she can help it, for it's
bad enough in all conscience TO look for
ward to being buried in it after you're
dead.
"You'll have the whole house upset
for a month, and there'll be no such
thing as comfort anywherer' growled
the Governor, in response 10 the en-
phatic foot.
"See here, Governor-do you think
I'll clean the house for fun ?" dellber-
ately asked Yours Truly, looking into
his eyes with quiet dignity that would
have made Samantha Allen blush with
envy.
"Of course you doT1 was the unrea-
solable reply. "Women are n queer lot
anyhow-never happy unless they're uT
to their eyes in sosp suds and splatteI
work, and driving the tired men to the
woodshed TO take bite Of cold viiuals
or the heads OF old pork barrels"
"Then, sir please be charitable
enough to give US up for one week in
fifty-two to the enjoyment that will
bring US pleasure" replied Yours Truly
as she tied up her iFizzes in a towel and
rolled back her sleeves and began the
annual raid that makes the sex happy
Mother agreed to keep the babies in
her room while the rest OF the house
was being upset-a very easy matter IL
regard to number two, but quite the re.
verse in number ones case, rs wa,
many times proved before the week wal
over.
Yours Truly has long had a theory
about house-cleauing, and on this occa
sion was firmly resolved to put it il
practice; so il was decided that the
work should begin in the kitchen anC
back porch aud woodshed. Calcimin
ers, paiutersa apd carpenters we're engaged
to begin the work at once, and, in ordei
that they might not be hindered il
their labors, the cook-stoye was cleaned
aud put up temporarily in the dining
room, and every movable article wal
carried by Yours Truly aud the China
man against the latter's protest. from
pantries, sinks, closets aud cupboard
and placed at haphazard on the side
board, on the floor, on the window-sill
and on the mantel-piece. You neve
know how much kitchen contains til
you undertake to give It thorough
cleaning.
When the field men came in to Dime
the fret day, they were disposed to b,
, philosophical. They ate their dinner il
2 hurry, and we're soon out Of the wa!
Of the renovators, who-didn't come
: Maybe Yours Truly wasn't mad But
according to the Governors logic, sh
q was "happy," and she tried to endur
e the ecstasy Of the situation In silence
Aud she washed the windows and upse
4 the rooms in the second story to hurr.
: the work along; aud at the end Of twl
days the calcimining was done in th
e kitchen. But the paint was not dry
e and it was two days longer before th
4 eook-stove was up again and the pantr,
a e.