The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-06-24
FACTS AND EANCIES

FACTS AND FANCIES
". WHEN = man gets tight, the devil gem
orally gets loose. s53s
The selfish man cares for No. /, and
often no one cares for him.
PHYsIc, says an old surgeon, is the arr
Of amusing the patient while nature.
cures the disease.
she my idyl when wDoed 81
MY idol when won;
= G# My ideal when, In after years,
Ways idle she had none.
To PREVENT ingrowing toe-nails: Cut
or scrape groove down the center and
pare the ends off square never cut the
Sides
WHEN girl is 20 she feels very easy
on that score. It's only when she scores
another that she begins to wonder who
invented wrinkles.
SQUIRE s Got your eye in mourning
again, I see, Pat % Pat-ssO have. IT'S
in mournin' for the batin' I gave that
brute Rafferty, this day.
s DoN'r be afraid, said snob to
German laborer, 6 sit down and make
yourself my equal" ct would half to
blow my praips out, " was the reply of
the Teuton.
A CASE of excessive alteration: Curl
osity hunters have carried off all the
buttons from the cushions in the pews in
Christ Church h. Alex32ndria, where Wash
SEED about which there is any doubt
should be tested before planting to as
certain whether it will grow. Badly
kept seed often causes disapp intment
from its failure to terminate.
s Is BUSINESS good ?" inquired a friend
of a Newark undertaken. Business
good?" he reiterated. You bet-two
in walnut, two in rosewood, and three
on ice at this blessed moment"
6 GooD-MoRNING, Patrick; you have
got new coat at last, but it seems to fit
you rather too much" "Och, there's
nothing surprising in that; sure, I wasn't
there when was measured for it. .
BLIGHT is quick conner which gives
no warning. The best that can be done
is to cut away the portion sstruck'
down to the live wood. IF the tree is
badly affected it is best to remove it en-
tirely.
eve wish, says a Texas newspaper,
"that few Of our citizens could be per-
nlitted to live till they die natural
death, SO as to show the world what a
magnificent healthy country Texas real
" is"
A LADY said to a little boy, aged 4
"Don't stand up in the carriage, be-
cause you might tumble out, and ther
there would be no Harry" ooh, yes,
replied he, "there would be Harry or
the road.
! In q certain Massachusetts normal
school the word g Eucharist was giver
out not long ago to be spelled and de
fined. More than three-fourths of thu
gir-beg. pardon young ladies wrote
eucherist, person who plays eucher.
A Boston lawyer told another lawyer
who asked him a question, that he usu
ally received pay for his advice
"iThen, said lawyer No. 1, extending
| SO cents, s'tell me all you know, an6
give me back the change"
SALEM DESSERT. Peel and slice apples
stew till done, then run through a colan
der, sweeten and season. Beat the white
/ Of three eggs to stiff froth, and just be
fore serving whip them into a quart Q
the stewed apples. Eat with cream an
call for more.
MY wife," remarked a prominen
4manufaeturer, s never attends auctions
1 She went once, and, seeing q friend 8
the opposite side Of the room, nodde
very politely, whereupon the auctionee
knocked down a patent cradle, and aske
her where she wished it delivered"
SHE had a pretty diploma tied wit
J. pink ribbon, from one Of our best youn
4 ladies colleges. In conversation with
daring and courageous young man, afte
he, had detailed the dangers and d.
8 lights Of riding on locomotive, sh
completely upset his opinion Of indie
pendent education Of the sexes by IL
curing Chow do they steer locomt
tives, anyhow? p
CATER all, remarked the young man
skimming lightly over the gravel wal
in the general direction Of the from
gate, !" after all, what boots it?" An
the muscular looking old gentleman q
the top of the porch steps, with hi
spectacles jostled little crooked, sal
that if the young man himself didn'
know, he didn't know anybody in tbs
township that did.
EQUAL TO THE EMERGENCY.
Should bless my welded state,
will not call her Poll or Sal.
No, nothing else but Kate.
My sainted aunt was called the same;
. MY love for it is great;
, Yes doctor, that must be her name
She shall be christened Kate
WHAT Twins? Good gracious, how they squal
, Doctor, bemoan my fate
Both girls?-Wel, well, still can call
Them Kate and Duplicate.
J A LITTLE 5-year-old friend, who vi
) always allowed to choose the prettie
| kitten for his pet and his playmate, b
fore the other musings were browne
/ was taken to his mothers sick-room IL
other morning to see two tiny, new tw
babies. He looked refectively from OF
) to the other for minute or two, the
: poking his chubby finger into the chez
! Of the plumpest baby, he said, decided
t "Save this one. J"
. He had been sitting still SO lo1