The weekly herald. [volume] (Cleveland, Tenn.) 1876-1888, 1880-01-15
FACTS AND FANCIES.


A quaint old rhyme says, Children
pick up words as pigeons peas
Sugar cant on Salt river, Arizona,
grows fifteen to eighteen feet high.
The crooked grocer is very mysteri-
GUS. His weighs are past finding out.
I'm engaged for this SET said the
hen TO the rooster as she went clucking
away.
What island do the ladies', as we see
them on the street, remind us off Man
hatt-on.
The man who said he was hard pushed
in his business was a book agent who
had just been elected from a store.
The best way to hold your age is to
tie a rope around it. II a vigilance
committee does the tying, your age
ends.
Some papers can't take a joke, and
lots Of others can and do; and what's
more, they pass it off for n Of their
own.
Upon q modest gravestone in Vim
cennes cemetery appears the plaintive
legend; His neighbor played the cor
net
II we were the ear OF Russia we
should be looking around for another
situation with less wages but greater
security.
The rats OF Illinois eat up and destroy
1000, 900 bushels OF corn every year, and
the query with her is whether to stop
raising corn or rats.
The Detroit Free Press thinks il
| wouldn't be o bad idea to have an Am
erican minister at Washington to repre-
sent the United States.
or Mr.. H. Sibley, the wealthy citizen
OF Rochester, N. Y, it is said that if he
were to visit one OF his farms every week
it would require a year to go around.
The two important events in the life
OF man are when he examines his upper
lip and sees the hair coming, and when
he examines the top of his head and sees
the hair going.
Painting pictures on old teacups is
very nice employment for a woman; but
the girl who can fix up a last winters
bonnet is the one who will make her
mark in the world.
Some philosopher is of the opinion
that the things which are seemingly the
most trivial are often worthy of great
attention. This applies to a wrinkle In
ones stocking, we believe.
A man may be a poor scholar when he
has everything in his head and nothing
in his purse, and he may be equally a
poor scholar when he has nothing in his
head and everything in his purse.
Odd days for fashionable weddings is
the wrinkle. Mondays and Saturdays
are now substituted for Wednesdays and
Thursdays, and if people talk about the
oddly of the thing the bride and BRIDE
groom are %gratifed.
An English woman, now in this coun-
try, has ordered from Is New York Jew
eler q bangle bracelet which is to cost
the comfortable sum of $40, 900. It is
made like the bangles of the harem, of
beaten gold, and is set with every known
jewel.
The Toronto corsetmakers are on a
strike. Their employers have pulled
the strings too tight for them, and the
girls won't be sOlaced, but have insti-
tuted a stay of proceedings, declaring
they won't waist their time. and OF cor
sets too much to expect that they will
bone down to work without proper pay.
About this time the twelve, year old
lad, who was excluded from his older
sisters swell party, gets revenge by
teaching the innocent, lisping baby to
ask her, in the presence of the family,
why she kissed, in the observatory, MIR.
Start, a young man whom she and all
the family, especially her papa, dis
likes.
Careless husbands can now be detect
ed in their provoking neglect in one
respect. The 9 rule of the postofice
department requires all letters to be
stamped with the date of their reception.
When a husband carries a letter for his
wife in his pocket q week, the old OK.
cuse in regard to the delay of the mails
does not work. Some other excuse must
be invented.
They had their usual evening quarrel
rs they sat by the hearth. On one side
lay quietly a blinking dog, and on the
other a purring cat, and the old woman
pleaded with her growing husband,
'Yust look at dat gat und dat tog; dey
nefer gwarrels nor fights like u.s. YAH,
said the old growler, Il knows dot, but
yust tie dem togeder n dime, und den
you see wotl'
A minister who had been ~reproving
one of his elders for over-indulgenoe,
observed a COW go down to a stream,
take a drink and then turn away.
There said he to his offending elder,
lis an example for you. The COW has
quenched its thirst, and has retired.
Yes replied the other, that is very
true. But suppose another COW had