davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29
Vol. XVI. Whole Ne. 1881. No. 81.


ii just rolled out here from tie grocery
store" said the green apple as il paused on
the sidewalk for moments chat with the
banana peel: 81 am waiting here for boy.
Not a small, weak, delicate boy" added the
little green apple, proudly, "bat great big
boy, great hulky, strong. lesther-lunged,
you will see me double up tina, boy to- might,
I'm small, but I'm good for .en-acre field
of boys, and don't you forget it. All the
boys in Burlington" the little green apple
went on with just shade Of pitying in its
voice, couldn't fool around me as any one
of them fools around banana"
Boys seem to be your game" drawled
the banana peel, lazily; "well / suppose
they are just about strong enough to afford
like to take somebody Of my sixe. Now
business with. lie is large and strong, it is
true. but
And just then South Hill merchant. who
weighs about 23l pounds when he feels
right good, rame along. and the banana peel
just caught him by the foot, lifting him
about as high as the awning post turning
HIHi over, DauSHlS ilul uo~u on potato
basket. nattening it out until it looked like
a splint door mat, and the shock Jared
everything loose in the shop window. And
then while the fallen merchant, from the va
rious quarters Of the globe, fshed his silk
hat from the gutter, his spectaeles from the
cellar. his handkerchief from the tree box.
his cane from the show window, and one Of
his shoes from the caves trough, and little
boy ran for the doctor. the little green apple
blushed red and shrank little back out Of
sight, covered with awe and modification.
"Ah," it thought, IL wonder if can ever
do that F? Alas. how vain l was. and yet
how poor and weak and useless am in this
world"
But the banana peel comforted it and
bade it look up and take heart. and do well
what 1t had to do, and labor for the good Of
the cause in its own useful sphere.
True, said the banana peel, .'you cannot
lift up two-hundred pound man and break
a cellar door with him, but you can give
him the cholera morbus, and II you do your
part the world will feel your power and the
medical colleges will call YOU blessed"
And then the little green spple smiled
and looked up with grateful bushes on its
face, and thanked the banana peel fer its
encouraging counsel. And that very night,
an old father, who writes thirteen hours
day, and patient mother who was almost
ready to sink from weariness, and a nurse
and doctor sat up till nearly morning with
a thirteen year-old boy, who was all twisted
up into the shape OF the figure 3, while all
the neighbors on that block sat UP and lis
tened and pounded their pillows and tried
TO sleep, and wished the boy would either
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29

In Vanity Fair.
BY SARAH nDtD>E>

BY SARAH DouDNES.
This Pair L. no newly erected bn-incss, hut
thing Of ancient standing The P4gri#'' Pro
Through the mist OF these delicate curtains Of
The May-ligh; OF old London shines down on
her face.
And she, with the tears in her beautiful eyes.
Looks up TO the wandering sunbeam and sighs:
sigh that |. born Of yearning regret
For banks where the yelyeiy mo.ses are wet,
For fields where she gathered the buitereup
gold
And the hedges where hawthorns are sweet as
of old:
But she bsr,ercd their bloom for such gems as
In Vanity Fair.
Now the fashion and pomp Of thi. Fair is ss
A. when Bunyan. the dreamer, was there in
his day:
The buying and selling go ON just the same.
And beauty i bought for a ring and a name;
Lord Carnal Delight aud the rest Of the crew
Bid high for face tina; is lovely and new;
Sweet Lily was fresh from those far country
bowers.
whcrr she grew with her sisters. the slender
And his lord-hip perceived iha, such white
was rare
Iu Vanity Fair.
~ -sln was tlltls tnf isiiN sotu
lc, the belle Of the Fair keeps -ome ionsings
untold:
Her spirit goes back to the happy old days,
To simpler companions and holicr ways,
And the mystical light OF city divine
Seems now through these wandering sunbcam.
TO shine.
But the vision IL bsni.hed. the fancies depart,
She that lives In the world learns 10 -ilepcc her
heart.
Aud she smiles the trained smile that the court
ly ones wear
In Vanity Fair.
GGrdes blew. NV lady. those fanciful dreams
Might have fitted your home amid pastures and
streams;
You Nigh; weep YOU listed In DAYS long ago.
But the Fair has denounced all emotion As
low:
And A. io that CITY CELESTIAL. they say
Mr.. Iwo-tongucs. the paTson. plains Il AWAY.
R.ioice in your charms aud the homage they
win.
Take your Oil Of the sweet. though i, SAVIOR. of
sin.
Till the fruit turn TO ashc-, the joy 10 despair.
In t.fr
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29
Misftllantous. q
Why ! Joined the Detectives.

Why i IO.Ael l.t psIfGLlses.
.c,,I x;,b ,,,, -
..C~r,s;ri' -,
N -
..S,J.,.'l;5 ,ri...,-
G. -, 81,
~. Ia, H. -
- - -. ~. u.
- ona e. -. 40" - -
-. -. - -, - -,
- - a,, "a ,h. - -
III, -. - :,
"a -. r., -,
-, -, .-:.i -,
tl..;'L~ :, ,Ia., -, n,
80. - -, I'I.-.I-.La1. -,
III -. -, - -, 80, :. -,
:, - Ill, - - a.. A.. (,
-. -. -. 49,. -
,1.. IA
-, -, -. LII -. -. II
-. ,,I;IL "a. -, 80, ,I:-AsI -.
"a -,..y-I -. - -, =, -. -.
clle =. -. / -, =, "a =.
-" -. ,,b;-j - -. -
-. y. -, - - -
c,.tl.I - rs,I sy;I +, -. g. = l..
;,,,.,,J,.5 ~. e,;l 7 d;g NO, ~. r,,.sIf
,r, -, 80 .h,-,, t,,,, ~. ~ -,
- -. -. ,-.'....-'e
,,,,,. ,,,',. !, - ,.,,,T-,;,.,,,,.
Wi 49,, -. 80 .o,t ;,,., -, ..o..,.
=. .g,,,,...-.,;e., -, "a. -.
n - -, =;
--,,,.,,r, u. Ill, - t,u,,, sraI,
-, - -. G.. -. "a -
- - - -
ia ~ - II. "a - ,l-.~.-.I,' 7.
- ,I.,L "a -, - ~. ~
- -. -. ,.U r..,b,',,',
IL ,,'.It''.i =, f. 81 t..L.,
h.i - - -. - 49, pan;se - L,..
.Ii -, :, 7 "a -, 49,, h,tIeen
- ~. - hIowaa 49,, s,aash,.J
- - - r. -.
81 ~ -.,-1.,'.i III - - - ii
- - - - :
,,' s =, " a.i sA.,'- - - mo-, -
III III A'. -; ~ ~. PoN.. '.'s'' -
-1 200 a,'i 1..s 'o-' anu ''''e' '"'' ''A' d
''''i, lii ;I'- 80 t-'.D''' .LA
=. =. - - -, -
- ,o'r - NJ, - - Wail -
,-,,sJ - !, - ~, a.. 80 -,
, IL ~
a.. N'.'
L,, - - =. -. ~ - - .I,.
o-' i A fN,s -
-eI.-o'' -.
s'I'Hs Ia. ~. - a.,,
j.,;,.oI va =. La - ' ~" =" 81 w W;p pm % o
e s-."s - - p','s'1;II' "a
s., "a - ~ - -
nm - anS :, haT - -. - 'e, 1a.' ~,
-, - ,La',iJ -, -. .,
- - ~ 81 ~ . - - r S4ru s,' .,'oa
- 80 ~ T.. -. go "a - -
,nn J;ni 80 a.. -n.,,ar. 10 haon w, =
ia -" =. - ~ T. - 81 -, Ps -
-" I II II Il 80 .' :.
=, IN ."u I.eu mn. -- MN, ~
s.'e oiN' oaI 1.-,h;. a-,iG - - ~ -
e., An ~ 1',t',s NI' .'I'I u - ''''
~. % sNe ie't a.i. '''' h:i - H.;
- g. 80 IN ~, - 90 III
p ppnr,h;n ] Sas,;soa - 80 hnd -
s ~ a. ~, -, sa oao
W. NJ y" ."' ~ "" ." 'o ',oS3' 50,
- .'. y ta'e P-Pe ~. os !. ~. 'ao. :,
ua" L,, 'ne'1 L .:sI Ne'IA. az. aep.en. p ma I"
e..oD .ii'.. "u; va! ,''A' '.s.oH Ie "
s1nI- . ,dna - al -. 1T ~, la 10 s ' -.
~, ,u ~ - IL; "a -. ~ s"e .a 'no
e ;n,aI, e.
80 on nv 49, - l.arn ~. d.,. os -.
- y" M " ~. ~ - -.
n,,on Pnd Son,,oxad - I ,ss a m.por.ua, o % and pes,
na - "a 80, ~, Js,s from, ola So
~ IN ~ anu =, G..ean .ho", So -
Tsn no Ineu SUI :, "a ~" III an, 80 na =
at. puu IA I -, - "nna -
1''e"aaa 4"out au t 'i''n anu . ;nsa..,;an 80
n ~, ~, - .Sd:d ..hn, 7 am
,r.,,. . Aro no ~ 49, = On ~. ia,h
rb;e6 would hs Tnasasx nex,-
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29

A CLEAR GIvK-AwAY.-It is wonderful
what fools boys are A charming widow of
our city owns nice boy. and a man from
st. Paul wants to be appointed deputy father
to the lad, 1t was only last Sunday that
while the St. Paul man was strolling down
Chestnut street with the lad, he asked !:
''Bub, does your mother bang her hair ?"
and that foolish boy answered, 'Oh, no f;
but you ought to see her bang dads head.
Guess the minister didn't know everything
when he told pap to prepare to die. Pre-
pare why he was aching to die."-[ Still
scater Lnmbermaa.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29

Why you should use the Peoples Favor
ite Tonic Bitters are, because they are pure
ly vegetable because the relief they afford
is permap, I; because the bottles contain
a larger. ;ty for the price than any 9TH
er Btu because all who use'them
unite . they are upequalled as
. y .cssness, and all
d. sSuCK advertisement
ri 2vSl
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29

A HARSH REToRT.-nuring the last po-
litical campaign in Michigan. well-known
lawyer Of that State was addressing an au-
dience composed principally of farmers. in
Gratiot County. In order to win the conf.
dence Of his hearers, he said, MY friends,
my sympsthies have always been with the
tillers Of the soil. My father was practical
farmer, and so was my grandfather before
him. was myself reared on a farm, and
was, so to speak, born between two stalks
of corn"
Here the speaker was rudely interrupted
by some one in the audience, who exclaimed,
"a pumpki~, by lingo "-EDIToR's DRAw.
ER, in Harpwt AasasiHs for August.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29
Post Office Notice.

OWING 10 the failure of Congress 10 make an ap
" preparation for incidental expenses connected
with the Post Offce Department.. have received
notice from that department that the extra expen-
-es connected with opening and distributing
mail. during the night une will not be met by the
Goyernmenf, Notice is hereby given that ON and
afsw Nav is<h the Ellsworth Pos1 ONCE will ciose
At dak and mails arriving during the night viii
nos BE- distributed till poEalpS.
.,,,,,.. \ W. y; 1aAAS f0sn'"esi II
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29

III say, old lady," said man on coun-
try road the other day, did you see . bicy-
Gle pass here just now? ?" No, didn't see
no kind of a sickle, mister; but just now l
seed a wagon wheel runnin' away with
man. You kin believe it or not wouldn't
if hadn't seed it myself.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29

Nothing" said an impatient husband,
'reminds me so much of Balaam and his
ass as two women stopping in church and
obstructing the way to indulge in their
everlasting talk" "Rat you forget my
DEAR returned the wife, meekly. s.thst Il
was an angel who stopped the way. and Ba-
laam and his ass who complained Of it"
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1880-07-29

"A rich but parsimonious old gentleman,
on being taken to task for his unchsritahle-
ness, said ''True, don't give much: but If
you only knew how it hurts me when give
anything, you wouldn't wonder"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-21
Crushed Truth in a Rising Attitude

A stranger, whose whole appearance
was dead giveaway on his empty peck
cts, entered an office in Exhange place
and asked.
"Do [ look like missionary about to
sail for India? %
"No, sir" was the prompt reply.
"That's right. I like people to be
frank with me. Do look as if I could
convert any great number Of heathens if
[ should turn missionary ?"
"No. SIR"
"Thanks. I see you are business
man. I'm another. [ came in here
calculating to tell you that I was a
missionary about to sail for India, and
ask you for small donation. You
wouldn't have given me a cent, would
you?"
"No, SIR
"That's plump, and it pleases me.
Now, then, I'll tell you the truth. Eve
no money, nothing to do, don't want
work, expect to have a close rub this
winter, and will be much obliged for the
loan OF 10 cents
Cant spare it.
"Not even when I tell you the
truth ?"
"No, sir"
"Then you don't care whether [ lie OF
tell the truth %
ono, sir. I can't see how it affects
me any,"
every well. It does me good to find
frank, honest man, and, on the whole.
I'm not disappointed. If you had lent
me dime it would have gone for whisky
and been wasted; if you had believed me I
should have lied to you. Seems as if
you might recommend me to some one
in the block on whom a pleasant lie
would have effect; but won't press the
matter. Aurevoir ~ VAL Street Dailg
No2yo
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-21
Excess of Study.

Minerva, said an able entymologist, is
SO called, Qata0 maioatat terVOs. Excess
OF study is, of course, like any other ex-
cess, prejudicial to the system. The
pursuit Of letters, if carried beyond a
certain point, is, like other pursuits, at
t tended by physical Inconvenience.
These, which have been greatly magni-
fed, ultimately result, as has been al
ready said, from one of two causes-too
much exercise of the mind or too little
exercise Of the body. Insanity or indi-
gestion, disordered head or disor-
dered stomach, are the avengers
OF the lucubrations of literary ibertin-
ism. But the belly suffers far more
often than the brain. How many men
sit before their books day after day, i'm
movable as the unhappy Indian fakirs
before their gods, deranging their ami
NAL economy without any advantage to
themselves or society! How many Of
these sedentary victims lose their appe-
t1tes without increasing their intelli-
gence P! How many, without improving
their discernment, destroy their di-
gestion These are they whom melan-
choly follows like a shadow, having
marked them for her own. No need for
them to drink the bloodless cumin. The
least lntemperate of them from excessive
sensibility serves as q living barometer,
and is purged of bile at much less sell
dom intervals than Horace. The most
incorporate is martyr, if we may be-
lleve physicians, to sleeplessness and
somnambulism, to commissions and cata-
lepsy. These men have been known to
sink, in q comparatively short period,
from voluminous constitution to mona
genarian caducity. Nay, they will even
die away like lamp, from wasting
their light Of life solely in the SER
vice of an ungrateful public. From
time to time learned receipts have been
given regarding a scholars diet. But
these bookworms will have none of
them. These will not even follow the
example Of Aristotle, and bear about
constantly on their belly, in order to
assist digestion, bladder of aromatic
oil. They will not confne their food to
milk and rice, eggs and oysters, fruit
and farina. Illustrious examples are
theirs, if they would but follow them.
Anacreon is said, during his latter years.
to have lived on regimen of raisins |;
Newton on bread and water, with wine
and boiled chicken on some infreouent
opportunity of festal cheer. But at
least let the student beware of bacon.
and cream, and cider. Nor are sheep's
trotters ordinarily adapted to his digest
i've powers. Tea is little likely to
lengthen literary days, and sucking
pig, especially with mustard and pep
per, is very Pandora's box of ills. in
which not even hope remains behind
CO77ahiU MuOuziae
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-21
Paying for His Whistle.

Not many years ago, when a lofty
building was on the point of completion,
the mason was in the habit of whistling
to the laborer who attended him when
ever he wanted fresh supply of lime.
and, as the scaffold on which he wrought
was rather small, this occurred very
often during days job. A joiner, who
was fitting in a window Immediately un-
derneath, noticing Pat answer dutifully
to every call from the mason, thought of
playing trick on him by initiating the
whistle, and thus brought him up with
hodful of lime when there was no room
for it. The mason told Pat that he had
not whistled, so he had no other alter
native than to trudge back with his
load. This having occurred the third
time during the day, Pat thought he
would watch to hear where the whistle
came from.
He had not waited long with the bod
on his shoulder when he heard the iden-
tical whistle underneath where he stood.
and, leaning over, he saw the head Of
the joiner protruding out of the window
Immediately below. Pat, without more
ado, emptied the hod right over the
whistler's head. The joiner yelled and
sputtered while attempting to clear him
self from the adhesive mass; and. in the
midst of his confusion, heard Paddy
above shouting at the top of his voice:
Whistle when you want some more
mortar"
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-21
A Woman With a Will.

A woman with a Will can make her
way in the American world. In Ulster
county, n. Y, there is a woman Of real
grit who inherited fourteen years ago
large estate, consisting principally of
farming farm property, heavily encountered
with debt. It was the old homestead,
and she could not bear the idea of seeing
it pass into the hands of strangers, and
was determined that it should not. Al
though then only "a years old, and with
no more practical knowledge of life than
an ordinary country lass, she assumed
the charge of the estate. determined to
clear it Of debt Having an old mother
60 years old; half-sister, also helpless
from old age, the two orphaned children
of deceased brother, and a brother in
the last stages Of consumption to pro-
vide for, this made her task doubly hard.
A little experience taught her that it was
impossible to support her large family
and keep up the interest arising from
the heavy Indebtedness of the estate
from the resources of the farm, she de-
cided upon school teaching. She was
engaged to teach in her own neighbour
hood at IS per month, aud her salary in
81 ollCIG IIluc was IdiSGll W apiU per u1Oltu.
She has continued school teaching ever
since, directing the work of her farm,
and during the summer vacations going
into the harvest field with the farm
hands to pitch on hay, rake, bind, etc.
She has earned from teaching school
over So, 800, paid off the debt of the old
homestead, and greatly improved the
property. She has been an extensive
stock raiser Her wheat crop averaged
last year forty-two bushels to the acre,
the largest yield in the county. Some
time ago she learned that brother-in-
law living in Pennsylvania was in desti-
tute circumstances. She went to him
and found him helpless from an incura-
BILE disease, with family depending up
on him. ''Ben," she said, "what can [
do for you?'' Nothing, Libbie," was
the reply. You have your hands full
county house, I suppose" "Nevey
Ben, as long as I live. Come and enjoy
the comforts Of the old homestead with
me. Twill keep you and your family as
long as you live" She says she has
enough to do now without having to
support q husband, too, which she might
have to do if she were to marry.-Neao
York Tribune.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-21
BITS OF INFORMATION.

The expression "poet laureate" orig
mated from the practice of browning
successful poets with leaves of the laurel
tree.
In 1547 London built her first asylum
for the insane, and named it Bethlehem.
Usage soon shortened the name to Bed
lam. The inmates being noisy and de-
monstrative, the term was corrupted into
ga perfect Bedlam." Hence the express
sion so often made use of.
The name of the thimble was origin
ally derived from the words thumb ="
and "bell," being at first humble, and
afterward thimble. It is of Chinese in
vention, and was introduced into En-
gland about the year 1896, by John Lot
ting, who came from Holland, and COM
menced its manufacture in London.
Formerly iron and brass were used, but
latterly steel, silver and gold have taken
their places.
PRESIDENT LINCOLN, during the war,
issued proclamations recommending
special thanksgiving for victory to the
Union forces in 1862 and 1868, and a
national proclamation of the annual
Thanksgiving day in 1868 and 1864. The
President has since then annually issued
such proclamation, and similar procla-
nations are issued by Governors of
States and Mayors of cities. Custom has
fixed the last Thursday in November as
the time
The expression, "Sick Man," as ap-
piled to Turkey, originated with the
Fmroror Nioboloc of Puec;o III ;c
represented to have said to Sir George
Seymour, In a conversation at st. Pet
ersburg on Jan. IL, 1874, "We have on
our hands sick mana very sick man.
1t would be great misfortune if one of
these days he should happen to die be-
fore the necessary arrangements were all
made" The minutes OF their CONVERSE
ton at different times on the subject
having been laid before Parliament by
the English Ministry, in the course of
the debates that Immediately preceded
the declaration of war against Russia,
the expressive appellation, "Sick Man
of the East, was caught up and circu-
lated by the press, till it has become an
established national sobriquet.
DALLEs are the channels of rivers
through rock formations where the rocks
rise precipitously from the waters edge
on both sides Of the stream. They are
formed either by volcanic CONFUSION
or are cut by the water. The "Dalles
of the st. Louis" at the head of Lake
Superior, are. very beautiful, but are not
"grand. The "Dalles of the St. Croix,"
near St. Paul, Mimi, are navigable, and
are almost worthy to be called "grand. -
The "Dalles of the Columbia, in Ore
gon, are perilous rapids, and are subdi-
vided, reckoning downward, into the
"Little DaIles" and "The Dalles." On
the latter, the basaitic rocks, which form
considerable distance above, bound
the channel, and confne the stream to
one-third Of its width, with a perpendic-
ular wall on either side; while the dam
ming up of the plunging surges in
creases the difficulties and dangers of
the descent.
Daily globe. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1878-1884, 1880-11-21
Cost of ROYALTY.
The Philadelphia Times sums up the
various amounts absorbed by the Euro
pean rulers of the present day:
These vast sums. as far as can bf

These vast sums, as far as can be as
certained, are the amounts actually and
personally absorbed by royalty in Eu-
rope-with the republican exceptions of
France and Switzerland. From the i'm
possibility of ascertaining the exact dis
bursements for such purposes, only five
out of the twenty-five states comprising
the present German empire are set down
III the above statement.
It will be perceived that, if Europe
has the fancy Of being governed by EN-
perors, Kings, Princes and Grand
Dukes, it costs great deal to carry
that fancy into actual operation. The
highly-paid magnates, who ought to be
the dependents and utility people in the
great political drama of political govern
ment, have increasingly proceeded, dur
ing the centuries, to make themselves
masters instead of servitors of the peo-
pie. Single families have thus absorbed
the property of the people, whom they
seem to regard as serfs. From royal
lips and royal pens these ever are words
OF ownership-such as envy people, :"
''my army" and "my navy" envy pal
aces" and "my interests"