The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903, 1880-11-18
PITH AND POINT.

PTTH AND POINT.
WE'LL drilled-The oil region.
A "FHRY steed" Pony brandy.
TIE Turkish position-C Cross-legged.
TIE Postmaster sometimes stamps his
feet.
APPLE JACK is first cousin to James
Jams.
"MANY are called but few are chosen
Ito occupy political Office.
TINS is perfect windfall to me, Z" as
the apple said when the gale shook it
down.
THE suspense is over I" as the Sheriff
said.when he cut down the criminal's l's
body
my burden is light" remarked the
little man carrying big torch in the
procession.
THE boys of Utah, we learn from the
Salt Lake Tribune, boast of the number
OF their mothers.
A PAPER speaks of meteor about
as large as basket" The tail must
have been as long as piece of string.
LIVES of grocerymen remind us
They eau make their starch half lime,
And with sugar wholly blind u.s.
Putting sand in all the time. - -
MANY book agent and canyasser has
discovered that the "welcome on a
door-mat refers to the third house around
the corner.
A MAN has invented a chair that can
be adjusted to 800 different positions. It
is designed for a boy to sit in when he
goes to church.
CICERO said Nothing should be
done hastily" The old chap was wrong.
Ii you see man coming at you with an
az get away as hastily as you can.
A SHADE of sadness crosses the face
of the poet when he reflects that the
average age of the hog is only Is years.
so young" he mutters to himself; $50
fair"
THE reason why the old Norwegian
poets are not more celebrated is because
their names cannot be handed down to
posterity without breaking. .-Nea0 Or
leans PicGyesae.
A PRovmENT uncle reproached his ex-
.travagant nephew. "You have spent
everything you had, unhappy boy |"
" Except my debts, uncle. You cannot
reproach me with having spent them T.
answered the unabashed youth.
"'PEARs to me your mill goes awful
slow, said an impatient farmer boy to q
miller. "I could eat that meal faster'n
you grind il" elbow long do yout think
You could do it, my lad?" quoth the
gwered the boy.
LAWYER @. '(entering the office of
his friend, DR.. NJ, and speaking in
hoarse whisper) =" Fred, I've got such
q cold this morning that I can't speak
the truth" DIR. NJ" Well, I'm glad
that it's nothing that viii interfere with
your business"
CHEMISTRY recitation Professor :
"What is water Student Water
is an article used by some as a drink. -
Professor, interrupting -"Can you
name any of its properties p" Student
-"Well, it occasionally rots boots. ="
Ere,t,lt onlTles.
FITTING emblems are not always ap-
preciated. The neighbors of poor fell
low who died erected tombstone to his
memory and had placed above it the
conventional white dove. The widow
looked at it through her tears, and said
eft was very thoughtful to put it there.
John was very fond of cunning, and it
was an especially y-suitable emblem"
DURING the last session of the court
at -, Wis, Lawyer Blank had been
trying for two long hours to impress
upon the minds of the jury the facts of
the case. Hearing the dinner-bell, he
turned to the Judge, and said, Had we
1S14ka- oIio,rrr, Cor ,1irraI- shall I
keep right on?" Weary and Disguised,
on, keep right on, and tOe viii go to din.
ner. ."-Harper's Monthly.
aoNFrr1Es, not often, when the DAYS are short
And peaceful sits the buIl-dog by the gate,
Her papa gives sudden, gloomy snort,
Renarking that the hour is rather late.
hear the old man coming up the hall,
The drowsy murmur of his awful boot;
Grabbing my yellow ulster like pail
Iget running start and of scoot-
Sometimes.
Sometimes, not often, does the faithful dog
Forget to keep the seat Of my striped pants;
He seems to know when would be incog,
And never gives me more than half chance.
From far-on days an echo wanders by
That makes discord in the Christmas chimes
take the first street car see and try
To think that other fellows have to climb
Sometimes.
HE gracefully accepted: "I assure
you, gentlemen" said the convict upo1
entering the prison, "that the place ha
sought me, and not I the place. NJ,
own affairs really demanded all my tim,
and attention, and may truly say tina
my selection to fill this place was an en-
tire surprise. Had Z consulted my owl
interest I should have peremptorily de
clined to serve, but, as I am in the hand
Of my friends, I see no other course bu
10 submit"