Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1880-09-03
The Prieklngs Of Conscience.
A CONVERTED GROCERY CLERK on ApuITERA
TING GOODS.

A grocer has been observing for sever (
al weeks past that a great many of his .
customers had quit him, and were trad
ing at a rival store over the way. lie !
also noticed that one of his clerks, who .
had been converted at revival, rarely .
succeeded in selling any goods at all to a 4
customer. He had formerly been very
efficient clerk in selling groceries, hence I!
the proprietor was very much bewilder- /
ed. Yesterday morning the proprietor
came down before the clerk had made (
his appearance, and hiding behind stack
of boxes of Liver Encouraging Bitters,
waited patiently for developments.
Presently the clerk came in, put on his
apron, busted off the counter, whistling,
"From Greenland's Icy Mountains" as
he did so. 1t was not long before a
wealthy lady, whose custom ran up into
the thousands annually, came in, and
asked the clerk, if had the celebrated B
No. sugar. He replied that they had,
showed her sample, and she said she
thought she would take about 100
pounds.
The conscientious clerk looked at the
lady very earnestly, and asked:
care you prepared to meet your Max
er?n
The lady stared in blank amazement.
"Iwant to know if you have family
prayers regularly, and if your family are
fully prepared for blissful hereafter be-
yond the graveP for if you are not you
can't get the sugar--that's all. There is
enough chloride of tin in 100 pounds of
sugar to kill the last one of you, and !
don't want anybody's blood on my
hands, particularly when they are lead
ing wicked lives and not fit to die, and
he put the cover on the sugar barrel and
strolled out to the door, whistling "Old
Hundred"
The lady Haunted herself out of the
store, her face as red as fire, but it was
not any redder than that of the proprietor,
who was only waiting for an opportunity
to rend that clerk limb from limb. For
tunately several customers came in, and
the proprietor drew in his breath, gritted
his teeth and waited as best he could for
f the hour Of vengeance to strike.
'1Iave you got any claret, genuine
French claretp"
''WhO do you want ii fOr?"
II want it for friend of mine out in
the country"
HAS he got good constitutions
mo, he is in feeble health, and !
want it to help build up his system"
, eve make our genuine claret ourselves
down in the cellar. The proprietor at.
tends to that himself. OF late the infu.
sions of logwood and other dye stuffs We
e get from the druggist have been of such
I poor quality that our genuine claret
G won't do for me torecommend. | CAM
I conscientiously do so. You had better
l let your friend die natural death"
4 The mansaid he wasvery much obliged
D for the information, but the clerk said hi
A was only doing his duty, and he whistleC
h "When l Can Read My Title Clear" a!
!. the customer strolled off.
v Other customers flocked in, but h
Y firmly refused to sell them dime
e worth. He explained to a cadaverou
n looking old woman that her dyspepti
= appearance was due to the China clay il
e the flour, and the glucose and sulphur
+ acid in the golden sirup she wanted t.
+ purchase. Another lady wanted tea
d The good clerk said, Madame, if yo
i were to drop dead and wake up wher
" there is weeping and wailing and gnash
a ing of teeth, could never sleep at nigh
o afterwards. You could not buy poun
~ of tea in this establishment for all th
n wealth of the Indies. The color of th
70 tea is produced by Prussian blue, whic
a causes Justification of the valvular syster
e of the heart. | can see by your leather
-e complexion that that is caused by til
e tannin in tea, that you are not long fc
10 this world. How do / know you hay
made your peace with heavenP"
Got any good cotfee?" asked fires
customer.
eve have some beans faced wit
t. phosphate of calcium and sulphate {
ID barium, but the man who gets any of
t. has to show a clean bill of health frol
Is his spiritual adviser" There was n
rs trade with that man, either.
a Finally, when there were no customer
Di in the store the interview between til
d enraged storekeeper and his clerk too
X place, but the clerk so impressivel
III warned the grocer-with an axe-hand
1t not to approach too close unless he WI
1t prepared to go hence, that their bushes
L. relations were dissolved by mutual col
ID sent. The moral of all of which is thu
lg things are not always what they SEEM
he GnlreSt0n Meas