The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1880-11-25
The Legal Status of Cats,

LIE result OF the case against Mr.. W.
]. Morris, of Brooklyn, who the other
day fired his pistol at black cat in his
back yard and missed the cat but wound
ed young lady neighbor, revives our
hope that justice will yet be done in the
courts, though the heavens crack and
tumble like the roof Of the Madison
Square Garden. In imposing a fine OF
i've dollars on Mr.. Morrison, Justice
Sender administered the following stern
and deserved rebuke: "Morrison, YOU
are bad shot, and hope that this ex-
perience may convince you of the neces-
sity of visiting Creedmoor at least once a
week for practice, I shall fine you five
dollars, not for shooting Miss. Palmer, but
for missing cat which was clearly with
in range" Public opinion will sendorse
his Honor's judgment and advice. The
outdoor season for cats is upon us. Black
cats and white cats, and cats of all inter-
mediate colors, are tuning up their pipes
and limbering their legs for the summer
campaign. The warm weather will soon
bring the cats out of the parlors, dining
rooms, kitchens, garrets and cellars, where
they have spent the winter. Their even
ing conventions and concerts will present
ly be in full blast. The affinity between
cats and back yards is well understood.
Like all gifted Creatures, they love their
favorite pursuits, but sbun publicity.
The character of their music is a matter
of taste -or rather of hearing. Most
persons to whom Providence allots rear
bedrooms dislike it. People living in
flats object to it as being set too much in
sharps. Others are down on 1t for the
reason that 1t brings too many Theodore
Thomases -or back-door Thonases into
the field. The citizen woos gentle sleep
in vain. He might lose himself under
solo, and the full chorus rouses him.
With many familiar oath he leaps from
his couch and rushes to the open win
dow! There in the yard he espies his
tormcntors. They form semi circle,
with the leader, an experienced
old yowler, in the center, with
as many awful scars of brick
bats, bootacks and hot water on his per-
son as a veteran of Waterloo. More, in
fact, for they don't use bootjacks in Wa
terloo. Sleep for the citizen is 1mpossi-
bic. The feline Sangerbund must dis
solve or die. For such emergencies re-
volvers were made. The citizens Joints
crack as he kneels on his bare knees on
the window sill, draws bead on Tom
and fires. Bang2 bang bang! until his
barrels are empty. There is momen-
tary hush, as when seaside brass band
is courteously offered decrease Of pay.
Then whisch! an immediate adoption
of the previous question, twenty tails hor-
izontal under the starlight and silence,
like huge bread and milk poultice, de-
sends upon the gentle nerves of dignity
dressed in innocence and unbleached
muslin. That Is, the dignity, not the
poultice.
The citizen, nevertheless, cannot be
justified in firing unless he hits one or
more of the cats that were within range.
His Honor sc held in the Morrison case,
and his decision must stand as the law
and common sense of all pistol practice
at cats. No man who misses cat at fifty
feet is fit to own six-shooter, even if he
doesn't hit a young lady opposite which,
if she be under twenty-one, Is minor
accident-he disgraces his age and gives
We trust that Justice Semler's recomen-
dation to Morrison will be needed by
the back bed room public. The cats must
die but it won't do to risk winging q
girl at every shot. As Cicero said when
discussing similar case in the Roman
Court of Shcrt Sessions, s.Ambiguas in
vulgam spargere yoces = that is, cit is
dangerous to spread doubtful repora
among people" And il the crack Of s
pistol in awkward hands isn't q doubtful
report, what is iii Nes0 york Graphic.