The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1880-02-28
VARIETIES.

y
-Flattery is like cologne water, to
be shifted at, not swallowed. Boston
Traveller.
"A Utah paragraph speaks of man
who narrowly escaped being cart
-ridgized."
The Duke of Argyll thinks our sky
higher than British skies. 1t comes
high, but we must have it.-Free Press.
Two hundred families of Phila-
delphia Quakers will form colony in
Minnesota, on the Northern Pacific
Railroad, next spring.
Better is bowl of charity soup
with powers of assimilation than weari-
some days filed with rhubarb and
magnesia. -Providenc Journal.
There are no cats in Greenland.
But they have native dog that can
howl hole in the side of an iceberg,
so the natives don't miss the cats.
"A lady of the penniless Hungarian
nobility will go out to work at sewing
for less than thirty cents day, but the
parcels must be carried by servant.
The Yonkers Statesman says that
notwithstanding the mildness of the
winter, the fishes find it exceedingly
hard work to keep their heads above
water.
JOHN The philosophy of dogs
running when a can is tied to his tail,
instead of biting the string off, is not
very clearly understood. "-SyracuSe
Times.
When standing army of nearly
SOC, 900 men is not sufficient, it looks as
If Germany was determined to have
peace if she had to fight for it.-Chica-
go Inter- Ocean.
Voting ring to the handsomest
girl in town is always an enjoyable af-
fair, without the least ill-feeling or
Jealousy, and the homely girls never
say a word.-Free Press.
=" Shall l hereafter darn your
stockings?' is said to be the fashion
able language for young lady to use
when making leap year proposal
Philadelphia Chronicle Herald.
doctors now say that boiled cows
milk is not good for babies, it is better
raw.-EGchGmge. The doctors are
right; raw COW gives better milk than
q boiled one Philadelphia Nes0s.
Herbert Spencer, says the New
York Herald, has never married, and
has thus carried out the fundamental
idea of his philosophy, that man, free
and equal, should seek universal peace.
"A girl down in Massachusetts who
painted pottery has become insane and
in the horrid dreams and hideous fam
~cies that glare upon her darkened mind
she imagines she sees all the things she
has painted.
=" Advice" says an old man of
much experience, "why, never had
any one come to me for that article
who, before he got through, was not
willing to give me twice as much as he
asked for. "-Boston Budget.
Jones says his wife is the most
thrifty woman he ever knew. "Why,
spreads during the last two years; made
them herself, sir, out of the patterns
she collected in her shopping tours
during that time"
The Joneses had just left the house.
s. Ma" asked little Miss Smith, "does
Mrs. Jones buy things of papap" 81
don't know, DEAR" replied her mother;
<'why do you askP" "'Cause he was
SO polite, you know, ma."-Bostom
transcript.
"A peculiar velocipede is used on
railroad tracks in Kansas by telegraph
repairers. 1t has two wheels, like a
bicycle, which run on one track, and
over which the rider sits, while a small
er wheel, for steadying, rests on the
other truck. Twenty miles an hour is
practicable with it.
The Oldest paper in the world, the
Pekin (China) Gazette, is delivered
every two days to subscribers, who are
of two classes. The first retain the
pamphlet and pay about twenty cents
q month; the second pay about half
that sum and return the Gazette to the
distributor the next time he comes
around.
Young men get so much gratuitous
advice that it is no wonder they do not
value it. NOBODY values anything that
is very cheap. But there is one thing
that all the rising generation should re-
member, and that is, that sure way to
incur an old mans enmity is to join is
sue with him upon the probable state
of the weather to-mo1row.-Baltinaore
..MecOS
The young ladies of Chattanooga,
Tennessee, organized leap-year par
ty, hired hall, ordered supper and
went around in carriages to hunt up
the young men to compel them to come
in Everything was lovely until the
committee went to settle the bills, when
they learned that the young men had
already paid them. The young ladies
say now that it was "real mean" in the
boys.
"A man and woman of Phoenix, Ul-
ster County, N. Y, decidedly on the
down-hill of life-he was sixty and she
was sixty-fve-could wait no longer to
be married, and started for the clergy
mans house in sleigh. On the road
they met another clergyman, and, with
n rare and beautiful enthusiasm, re-
him to perform the ceremony
"a On the spot. They stood up in their
sleigh, the minister stood up in his,
they were pronounced to be man and
wife, and a pair of frisky horses with
their sleigh bells furnished the wedding
music.
The leap-year privileges of ladies